#tag me if any of y’all find any good sams sun angst

[mama-sunni]

I just realized

there’s almost no sams sun angst, especially written angst and i wanna read sams sun angst

cause i find angst for moon, lunar, bloodmoon, eclipse, and even monty

but of course, the one who doesn’t talk about his problems doesn’t get any angst fan fics

[dani-ya-dig]

Ok now that I’m fully awake. It’s time try and organize my thoughts on that audio oh my god.

Also trigger warning for mentions of suicide under the cut

That’s actually the first thing I wanna talk about, and is the only gripe I have with the entire video. Why the fuck wasn’t mentions of suicide tagged in the description??

Like I understand the concept wasn’t dwelled on and Sam didn’t outright say “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” but he PRETTY EXPLICITLY talked about how he planned to commit suicide even if he didn’t say those words. idk “chosen morality” doesn’t seem like the right warning for that? I’m not gonna complain abt it like too much, I just was a little confused on why it wasn’t tagged.

But anyways onto my jumbled up thoughts about the actual audio! Because as a member of the Sam Collins fandom, I have thoughttsssssss!!

THIS AUDIO MADE ME SOB! I couldn’t sleep because of how sad I was over it. Sam and Darlin need to be happy just for fucking ONCE, god give them a BREAKKKKKK.

The idea of them just silently holding each other on their roof with the night sky above them, a few tears probably falling from both of them. IM DUHXSJDIJFDJFHFHJ

AND MOTHERFUCKER THE VIDEO ENDING ON “Brown. My eyes were brown” I FELL TO THE FLOOR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

On a happier note about that, I KNEW Sam’s eyes were brown. I feel like almost everyone did tbh. I’ll tell you what gave it away though, the gentle way he says “please” to Darlin in some of his audios. Automatically gave it away that he would have had the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your life. I’m physically sick over it, it’s not even funny.

Now back to the thing I desperately don’t wanna think about. Sam telling Darlin that he wasn’t planning on living forever.

That’s where the dam broke for me, I started bawling. It totally makes sense, I get it and I can’t say that it’s not a choice that makes sense given that Sam never wanted to be a vampire in the first place.

Do y’all think that he was planning to watch the sunrise on his roof? Because that was my first thought and it hurt real bad. Sam finally getting to feel the sunlight after so many years of having been deprived of it, only to be ash when the sun was fully in the sky.

Also I know damn well he probably would have done it after Darlin died and that’s what hurts so bad. If Darlin chose to be a vampire I think he would happily spend however long their eternity would be by their side, but once they were gone he probably wouldn’t feel a reason to stay. Especially because if Darlin turned into a vampire the two of them probably would have completely pulled away from all mortals before that would happen.

On that note, I don’t think Darlin is gonna want to be turned. I never really thought they would, unless they were under very specific circumstances. Sam telling them to spend time in their wolf form and with their pack before deciding solidified that for me 100%. I don’t think they would be able to lose their wolf which we know is a pretty big part of shifters, talking from Milo’s audio where he breaks down worried he was never going to be able to shift again. I don’t think they would be okay with the idea of watching their friends, and their family all start to wither away and eventually die while they remain.

Now, do I think Darlin is going to want to be turned? No. Do I think the dynamic of Darlin choosing to remain mortal opens a lot of really good angst possibilities? Yes. Do I fully trust Erik to not turn them anyways? Not really no.

If I had to put a bet in for how it would happen if Darlin got turned, it would be by Quinn. Quinn would find out or catch wind of the fact that they chose not to be turned (if he didn’t already know they would chose that) and turn them anyways just to hurt them.

(I think Alexis turning them is an interesting idea to think about, from any angle but I highly doubt that’s gonna happen lmao)

All in all I genuinely think that was the only audio that has affected me that much (aside from maybe listening to the inversion for the first time??)

[whitewitchdani]

Laters, Baby: Chapter 6

Read Chapter 5 Here

Word Count: 2084

Pairing: Winchester!Sister x Lucifer

Warnings: angst, language

A/N: Chapter 6! I really like this chapter and I hope y’all like it too! :) let me know what you think or if you’d like to be tagged!

Laters, Baby Masterlist

Sam stood and began pacing the motel room, stopping to look out the window. The sun was up. Y/N had been gone for a couple of hours now and they still hadn’t heard anything from her. If Cas hadn’t flown out to check on her, he for damn sure would not be in this motel room just waiting. 

He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face. She looked so distraught when she left. He just wanted to talk to her to make sure she knew that Dean’s confession changed nothing. He and Y/N were still twins; peas in a pod, two sides to the same coin and any other expression he could think of. They’d been inseparable since he could remember and he did not want that to change. She was his best friend and he wouldn’t know what to do without her. 

Sam was shaken from his internal struggle by the sound of the motel room door slamming. “She’s still not back yet??” Dean asked while setting coffee and breakfast on the table.

“No and I’m starting to get worried. She’s been gone for a while and Cas left an hour ago to check on her and I haven’t heard from him either. Should we go look for them?”

Dean sighed and took a long drink from his coffee. “Let’s eat first, give her some more time if she’s still just processing. If they’re still not back when we’re done, we’ll go look for them.”

Sam nodded at his brother as they both sat down at the table to eat. He went to take a bite of his food when Castiel burst through the door of the motel room. Sam looked the angel up and down; he looked like crap. Shit. This could not be good.

“Cas what the hell happened, man? You look like you got your ass kicked.” Dean got up to examine the cut on the angel’s forehead and looked behind him to the open motel door expecting Y/N to walk in next. “Where’s Y/N Cas?”

Cas took a deep breath, “She’s gone, Dean.”

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GONE?!” Dean bellowed in the angel’s face.

“I tried to save her Dean. We were talking in the park, I believe I was successful in helping her feel better regarding her situation, when demons appeared. Originally it was only Meg,” Dean cursed and Sam ran a hand down his face at the demons name. Would they ever be rid of her? “But then two more arrived to assist her. The two attacked me while Meg went after Y/N. She held her own but by the time I dealt with the two demons and tried to help her, Meg had rendered her unconscious and blinked away with Y/N in her arms. Most likely to Hell as I could not follow wherever it was they went.” 

Sam jumped up from the table with wide eyes, “Meg works for Lucifer, Cas. Basically his right hand since he’s been topside. Dean, if Meg has her...”

“She took her straight to Lucifer. Dammit!” Dean punched the wall in frustration.  

“Calm down! We need a plan. Lucifer is most likely in Hell; if we’re going to get Y/N out we’re going to need to find a way in. That means we need to call someone with direct access to Hell...”

“You don’t mean?” Dean asked Sam incredulously. Sam nodded sadly. 

Dean sighed and wiped his hand down his face. With a punch downward, the eldest Winchester yelled, “FUCK!”

The first thing you noticed when you started to regain consciousness was the ache in the left side of your head/face. Your mouth was also extremely dry; when you went to lick your lips, you winced as your tongue grazed your split lip. Fucking demons. You went to rub the side of your head and found you couldn’t move your hands. You looked up and saw them chained above you.

“Owwwwww. Fucking demons, man.” As soon as you moved your head the pounding worsened. You pulled on your restraints with no luck; they were completely secure. All of the movement was causing your head to pound even more. “Fucking fuck. Fucking demon bitch.”

A chuckle came from the darkness in front of you, “You have quite the mouth on you little Winchester. Don’t worry though, I kinda like it.”

You looked ahead and saw two eyes flash red. Of course it was Lucifer, should you have expected anything less? “Lucifer. Wish I could say it’s good to see you, but I’ve tried to cut down on lying through my teeth.”

The devil chuckled once more, “Like I said, doll, quite the mouth.” The devil emerged from the darkness and came to stand right in front of you. His blue eyes met yours as he moved forward and cupped your face, running his thumb over the split in your lip. He tsked, “I told them to go easy, precious cargo and all. You must’ve really pissed Meg off.”

“I may have called her ugly, and told her to tell you to shove it up your ass. And then I broke her vessels nose.” You shrugged your shoulders as best you could with your arms strung up above you. 

Lucifer laughed again. Odd, he sure does laugh a lot for being the freaking devil. “Feisty, I like it. You seem much less afraid of me than before. Have you warmed to me baby Winchester?” He asked with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes, which made you wince; your head really did hurt. “I have a name you know? And I wasn’t scared of you last time necessarily. Just kinda shocked, I guess? Not everyday the devil shows up and says ‘I’m your soulmate!’ It was half shock and half thinking you were most likely full of shit.”

He looked at you and put two fingers to his chin, “And now? Do you still think I’m full of shit?”

You sighed, “No. I know you were telling the truth. We’re really soulmates.”

His eyes went wide but the ever-present smirk remained, “Really? I’m assuming you didn’t just take me at my word, I am the devil after all.”

“Well duh. Told my brothers and Castiel what you told me, and then I got to have Cas shove his arm up my ribcage so he could touch my soul. You know the fun, excruciatingly painful stuff.” 

Lucifer’s face fell; he honestly looked upset. Did you say something wrong already? “You’re telling me my brother touched your soul?”

“Yes? He said it was the only way we could be absolutely sure. He touched it and said he could feel a connection to yours, meaning you were actually my soulmate. It’s been an interesting 12 hours let me tell you.” It hit you just how long this night had actually been. You were going on over 36 hours without sleep and were pretty sure Meg had given you a minor concussion when she knocked you out. 

Lucifer noticed that the woman in front of him was struggling to keep her eyes open. “We’ll come back to that, what in Dad’s name is wrong with you?”

You rolled your eyes for at least the hundredth time that night. “Well Lucifer, where should I start? I’m strung up by my arms in what I’m assuming is Hell, correct?” Lucifer nodded. “Your demon bitch split my lip and gave me a concussion; I haven’t slept in over 36 hours; I’m starving; oh, and tonight I’ve found out that not only is the devil my soulmate, but that my brothers aren’t even really my brothers! Yep my birth mom just ditched me on a motel doorstep. John and Dean lied to me and Sam for years.” You let out a breathy laugh and let your head loll down. You were so tired, mentally and physically.

Lucifer tilted his head at you. That certainly explained a lot. Something odd was happening though, he was feeling something for you. He felt... bad? He had the desire to comfort you and to try to make things better. What the fuck, Lucifer? She’s a human. He internally scolded himself but his new feelings won out. He sighed, “If I take you down you have to promise to behave.”

You looked up at him incredulously, “What would I do, Lucifer? I’m half unconscious and you’re a friggin’ archangel, I think I’m a bit outgunned here.”

Lucifer snorted, “Touché, baby Winchester.” He snapped his fingers and the chains disappeared, causing you to fall to the cold, stone ground with a yelp. 

“Ow,” you rubbed your head and then your wrists before standing up, “And are you going to keep calling me that? I have an actual name.” 

“I enjoy it, but since you aren’t technically a Winchester it isn’t as fun anymore. What’s your name again?” 

“Y/N. And I’m still a Winchester Lucifer, just not by blood. Speaking of blood, I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but can I ask you a favor?”

Lucifer’s eyebrows shot up and he grinned, “So eager to make a deal with the devil already Y/N?”

“No, no deals, just consolation for kidnapping me and for Meg beating the crap out of me. Can you please heal me? I’m assuming you’re going to want me conscious for whatever it is you have planned and with the concussion and lack of sleep that will be an issue very soon.”

Lucifer placed a finger to his chin as he contemplated your request. “I suppose you make a good point.” He removed his finger from his chin and placed two to your forehead. 

When he touched you, you felt the familiar soulmate connection spark through you. It was followed by the cooling sensation of his grace, its flowing tendrils moving to each part of your body to heal the wounds left behind by Meg. “There. Happy now?”

“Thank you, Lucifer. While I could still go for four hours and a sandwich, I feel better.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. He should just kill you and get this over with. If the soulmate connection was allowed to blossom and eventually be consummated, you would be a weakness. But he couldn’t, and he was cursing his father for it. “Come with me.”

You raised an eyebrow but followed Lucifer as he exited the room and turned left into the corridor. As you followed, demons bowed to Lucifer as he passed but brought their heads up in time to glare at you. The devil bringing a human woman into Hell, a Winchester at that, was probably not an everyday occurrence. 

He stopped at an ornate door isolated at the end of a corridor, Lucifer turning to you with a smirk on his face. “This is yours. You will stay in this room when you are not with me, I certainly don’t need a Winchester running loose through Hell. Everything you will need is in here.”

You looked at him dumbfounded as he pushed the door open. The inside looked like a nice one-bedroom apartment that you’d find in a city somewhere, not deep in the bowels of Hell. As you stepped inside you entered a living area with a large couch and television along with a massive bookshelf on the wall completely filled. As you trailed your fingers along the spines you noticed they were some of your favorites: a mix of classics and new fiction. You went deeper into the apartment, passing through the exquisite kitchen and into the bedroom. In there, a king size bed sat in the middle of the room clad in red. 

“Red, Lucifer? Really? Isn’t that a bit too on the nose?”

“I’m nothing if not one for the classics.” He smirked and sat down on the edge, “There will be a demon posted outside this door at all times, the only person allowed in and out is me. If you need anything, just tell them. I have some Hell business to attend to; if I knew this place became so bureaucratic and paperwork-centric while I was away, I may have just let Crowley keep it.”

With that, Lucifer stood and exited your new, what was this place even, chambers? Upscale prison cell? You didn’t know. All you knew was that you were stuck in Hell at Lucifer’s beck and call, and that it most likely was not going to end well. 

You missed Sam and Dean.

Read Chapter 7 Here

Tag List:

@lovesamwinchester​ @tomhiddleston-is-mischief​ @loco-latte​ @stuckinsaudi1​

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Shackled News and a bit more

Howdy, folks. 

EDIT: I just posted the last chapter of Shackled!!!!!!!!!. I wanted to thank everyone for their lovely comments and reblogs. Everyone has been so very encouraging and excited, and it’s been fantastic, I gotta say.

Now that Shackled is finished, I will begin posting another multi- chapter Supernatural story. Please, if you’d like, take a minute to look over the preview below. If you’d like to be added to my Long Haul (everything) tag list or you’d like to be placed on the Walk Me Home list, let me know, and I will adjust accordingly. Again, thank you so much for sticking with the story, jumping in on the story, just hanging out with me and the story. Y’all are the best. 

Walk Me Home

Summary: Twenty-four years ago, Kimberly Harper met a boy who changed the course of her entire life before up and leaving one night. She spent years moving past the memories, building a stable, satisfying career as professor of folklore and mythology at the local university. Then the accidents start, and she’s forced to seek help among her hunter contacts. All it takes is a knock on her office door to send Kimber’s carefully built emotional walls crumbling to the ground.

Featuring: Teen Winchesters, high school romance, reunions, misunderstandings, high intensity emotional turmoil, Dean’s love of pie, Dean being adorable, Sam being adorable and maybe a bit nosy eventually, much group adorkable-ness, show-style investigation, mention of our favorite werewolf, gratuitous and obvious love of fall, DID I MENTION ROMANCE, fluff, smut, tension. I had fun writing it, so I hope you’ll have fun reading it. Trying to keep preview shorter, so I promise huge shoutouts to EVERYONE who helped me SO MUCH with this story.

Inspired by P!nk’s song “Walk Me Home”

Story Warnings (None of these apply to preview): Show level violence, show level parental neglect (let’s not John bash, I’m just saying), show-style witchcraft, show-level mental manipulation, stalking, bit of angst, sexual content (higher than show level),swearing, general yearning

Chapter 1 Preview

A firm tap on the door of her office makes Kimberly’s head snap up. She blinks, her eyes unable to focus quickly after looking up from her computer screen. She remembers she’s wearing her reading glasses, and slips them off her nose, letting them dangle from the chain around her neck.

“Dr. Harper? Could I take a few minutes of your time?”

“Yes, I…” Her eyes finally focus on her visitor, and the room is suddenly devoid of oxygen. “Dean? Is it...really?”

“Kimber?” 

The astonished man framed in the doorway is a far cry from the brash, charming boy she met in a different life, but she’d know him anywhere. Time has been more than kind to Dean Winchester, and Kimberly has to admit some things really do get better with age.

Which is saying a lot, considering.

“God, no one’s called me that since high school.” She stands and takes a couple of measured steps around her desk. Seeing him unexpectedly like this after so much time leaves her physically and emotionally off-balance, but the smile she offers him is genuine. “You’re a helluva sight for sore eyes. It’s been a while.”

Dean recovers from his shock quickly, crossing the small room in a few quick strides, and sweeps her into a hug. She’s engulfed in his presence, not just his physical stature (she does not remember him being this tall or broad or...solid) but also the scent and feel that is absolutely Dean. She feels a shock of vertigo as memories and emotions she’d long laid to rest all vie for immediate attention.

It hits them simultaneously that they’ve embraced for a few moments longer than necessary, and they disentangle with sheepish smiles.

“What are...no, I’m sorry, I’m being rude. Have a seat!” A lop-sided smile pulls at Dean’s lips, and suddenly she’s seventeen again, trying desperately to keep her cool as she finally gets to talk to the handsome, mysterious new kid. Warmth floods every cell of her body, and she comes dangerously close to giggling. 

“Coffee?” she offers, forgetting most of her hard-earned vocabulary in the face of her teenage dream.

“Always.”

...

The last time she’d seen Dean Winchester, his father was burning holes in his elder son’s back from the driver’s seat of his precious Impala. He glowered at Dean and Kimber, impatiently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as the teenagers stumbled through their good-byes. Dean’s younger brother sat, slump-shouldered and defeated in the back seat, resigned to yet another relocation.

“Don’t forget my number,” Kimberly murmured, her palms sliding over his jaw, fingers threading into his close-cropped hair, and they both knew she meant, “Don’t forget me.”

“I couldn’t if I tried, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice breaking on the last word. He cleared his throat, trying to turn away before she could see any weakness.

“Don’t,” she said, holding his face firmly. “If this is all I get of you, don’t even take that much from me.”

Five blissful weeks they’d had before Dean’s father concluded his mysterious business in the area. Five weeks since she’d begun tutoring Dean in AP American History; an absolute sham, she had realized exactly five minutes into their first session. Dean may not have been caught up on the exact dates and details of what they were covering in class, but once he set eyes on the material, even she had a hard time keeping pace with his reasoning.

“Just wanted to talk to you alone,” he’d admitted that afternoon, his olive eyes sparkling. He flashed her what had to be an award-winning half-grin, showing a glimpse of perfect, dazzling white teeth and the merest touch of uncertain vulnerability. 

“Does that usually work on girls?” she asked, genuinely curious. He had to practice that expression in the mirror; it was too perfect to be natural. His face lit up as his smile spread, his cheeks gaining the faintest hint of pink. In that one moment, Kimber realized she’d lived her entire life under an overcast sky, and now the clouds had parted. His smile was the sun on her face for the first time, dazzling and vital, and she soaked it in with dizzy abandon.

“Why, is it working on you?”

“Yeah, it, um, it really is.”

They spent the next month or so getting to know each other as only kids can, when everything is new, the absolute pinnacle of priority and passion. They studied each other as fervently as they should have studied for midterms. Explaining how the Age of Enlightenment influenced the American Revolution was a complete waste of time next to finding out that the beautiful, smooth-talking, tough-as-nails Dean Winchester was actually ticklish.

Dean told her the most amazing stories, which she only learned were true after he and his family disappeared. She caught him up in history enough for the teacher to get off his back, and in return he showed her how to get rid of unwanted physical attention with minimal risk on her part.

Dean wasn’t her first kiss, but he wiped the memory of every other fumbling embrace from her mind with a searing permanence. Some nights they snuck out to the tree house in her backyard, and some nights she snuck him into her room. He would never take her out to any of the famous local make-out spots, though; he said they were too dangerous and just begging for trouble. 

She knew better than to argue with him when he got “that look” on his face, spoke to her in “that tone.” It took many years and some hard experiences of her own, but she did eventually learn that he’d been protecting her from so much more than she ever could have understood at that point in her life.

She found herself in awe of the sheer amount of wisdom contained in such a carefree, often goofy package. That they were chronologically the same age, almost to the month, was irrelevant; Dean Winchester had lived far beyond his years, and it showed.

And then one night, he’d arrived on her doorstep in the middle of dinner, asked if she could come outside for a minute. When he told her he was leaving, she knew he wasn’t joking. He’d warned her it would happen this way, that he had no idea how long they’d be in town, but she’d always imagined that future as some vague, misty destination, like “graduation” or “college.” Definitely going to happen, but not anytime soon, so might as well relax and enjoy things while you could.

“I…” But she couldn’t say it, not yet. She wanted to, had read so many novels and seen all the movies. It was the thing to say, and half her friends had already proclaimed their hearts belonging to various celebrities and hot guys around school. But staring into Dean’s eyes, so much older than they should be, she knew better than to throw that word out so lightly, carelessly.

“Yeah,” he sighed. His eyelids dropped, shoulders heaved once, and when he met her gaze again, that smooth front of cool confidence had slid back in place. “I know, sweetheart. Me, too.”

He kissed her then, despite his father’s glowering, despite her parents’ astonished looks from between the living room curtains. His hands were tight on her waist, and she raised up on her toes, pulling his face just a little closer. 

They pulled apart after a long moment, eyes locked, and she kissed him one last time, chastely, savoring the plush of his velvet-soft lips against hers. 

Then she let him go, and he went. There was nothing else they could do.

She hugged herself against the chill autumn night, ignoring the first dashes of icy rain that stung her bare arms as she watched the black Impala turn a corner and disappear.

She didn’t see him again for nearly two and a half decades. When he knocked on her office door, asking for Dr. Harper, the years melted away. She felt the sting of the rain, the chill of the night he’d left, and for a long moment, all she could do was stare.

[thesoftdumbass]

tay’s pop-culture writing challenge

Hello, lovelies! So I have been wanting to host another writing challenge for a while. With the school year being over, with a lot of people having more free time than they usually have, and with my blog reaching nearly 1500 followers holy shit I can’t believe it, I thought now would be a great time to post it! So below the cut are the rules, prompts, what have you...send an ask or message to claim a prompt and let’s get these creative juices flowing!

The Rules™️

~You don’t have to be following me to sign up! Just make sure that I have your url when we talk so I can keep track

~I will accept fluff, smut, angst, what have you...but if you write smut, you have to be 18+ 

~AUs are welcome

~Prompts are based on songs and movies/pop culture. If you choose one it doesn’t have to match exactly, but I’d love if the fic or line captures the feel of the prompt. If you alter the prompt, please bold or italicize it when posting.

~Can be a one-shot, series, drabble, whatever you choose. There are no word requirements but please, I beg of you, if your piece is longer than a hundred words, put a read more on it. And that’s not just for this challenge, it’s just a general courtesy.

~When posting, tag my blog @thesoftdumbass and use the tag #popculturewritingchallenge so I can find your lovely fic!

~There is no cut-off date and you can sign up at any time, as long as there are prompts left

~Entries are due July 1st

Characters

Marvel:

Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson

Steve Rogers

TBH pretty much any Marvel character is good with me

The Witcher:

Geralt

Jaskier

Yennefer

Triss

Star Wars:

Poe Dameron

Finn

Rey

Din Djarin

Miscellaneous:

Captain Syverson

August Walker

Clark Kent

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels

Javier Pena

Any Sebastian Stan character

Anyone from Red vs Blue

Do people still write for Star Trek? If so, I’ll just put this here.

If you want to write for a character (or ship) that’s not on this list, just ask and I’ll probably be okay with it!

Prompts

Songs~

1. “I love it when you call me lover” | Call Me Lover, Sam Fender

2. “There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be” | Dreaming of you, Selena

3. “I still have your letter. I’ve only read it once but I remember every word.” | Sweater, Zach Day @bookcaseninja​ ~ Carolina

4. “I meant to say I love you, but instead I said goodbye” | Shadows, The Midnight

5. “It’s not my fault that I’ve fucked everybody here” | You, The 1975

6. “I’m no sweet dream, but I’m a hell of a night” | Nightmare, Halsey @nanners-the-great​ ~ Bucky

7. “All our friends want us to fall in love” | The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty, Panic! at the Disco @bookcaseninja​ ~ Carolina

8. “People always say life is full of choices, no-one ever mentions fear” | Journey to the past, Anastasia (movie) @nekoannie-chan​ 

9. “I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up” | Afire Love, Ed Sheeran

10. “The three words could never come easy cause you’re more than they ever could be” | Capsize, Frenship and Emily Warren

11. “You say that you don’t want me. You should tell your body.” | Sweater, Zach Day

12. “The seasons pass but the monsters stay” | Kids (reprise), The Midnight

13. “And if tomorrow it’s all over, at least we had it for a moment” | No Choir, Florence and the Machine @dira333​ ~ Cameron Klein

14. “I am not complaining, just identifying my situation” | Moon, Bad Mustache

15. “I’m not a poet, but a criminal” | Thank you for the venom, My Chemical Romance

16. “The best part of believe is the lie” | Sophomore Slump, Fall Out Boy

17. “If you tease me now, I’ll just come back hungry for more” | Feed Me Now, Saint Motel

18. “How could anybody have you and lose you, and not lose their minds too?” | Los Ageless, St. Vincent

19. “No more Mrs. fucking polite” | Smile, Maisie Peters

20. “I thought that I was dreaming when you said you love me” | Ivy, Frank Ocean @annathewitch​ ~ Din Djarin

21. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your neck” | fallingforyou, The 1975

Sentences~

22. “Have zero expectations always, and you’ll never be disappointed.”

23. “Payback’s a bitch, and so am I.”

24. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, it’s that there’s always margin for error.”

25. “You know, one of these days, I don’t know when...I’m gonna learn to shut my fucking mouth.”

26. “Wow. You have a way with words that just immediately makes me wanna kill myself.”

27. “I have a lot to say, maybe you should get some popcorn.”

28. “It’s a Sunday. I don’t move on Sundays.”

29. “There’s no such thing as good guys or bad guys, there’s just people going about their lives.”

30. “There was a gunfight at my wedding.”

“Wait, you’re married?”

“No, I was the better shot.”

31. “Stop being so mean to me, or I swear to God I’m gonna fall in love with you!”

32. “It’s so hard to care when you’re this relaxed.”

33. A day spent with you is my favorite day.”

34. “Can I bother you for a second?”

“You always bother me so go ahead.”

35. “I’m in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven’t slept all night, I’m starved and I’m armed. Don’t mess with me.” @marvelouslytrekking​ ~ Steve Rogers

36. “I am way too sleep-deprived to deal with your negativity right now.”

37. “Part of me is terrified. And part of me is flattered.”

38. “I am not a child, I just act like one.”

39. “He’s blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education.”

40. “I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after another, consecutively, in a row.”

There are so many awesome writers on this site, and I’m excited to see what y’all contribute 🖤 until next time, darlings!

Tagging people who expressed interest six months ago:

@hispeculiartreasure

@goingknowherewastaken

@bookcaseninja

@marvelouslytrekking

@dira333

@superwholockedbeauty​

@nanners-the-great​

@tardisoftheshire​

@just-the-hiddles​

@bloodycupcakes​ 

[wizardhecker]

ollie’s book rec list

hey y’all i got libby this last year and its expanded my reading a bunch. I talked about what books I liked on twitter earlier but I wanted to move that over here. These books aren’t in order of preference, just when I read them. I’ll probably be updating this list throughout the year as well. 

Stuff I loved:

Gideon the Ninth- Tamsyn Muir: Probably my favorite book from this year, I’m eagerly awaiting for the sequel. WAs everything I wanted in a book, witty and clever. Lesbian necromancer and buff swordgirl end up taking part in a contest that entangles them in murder and mysteries. Its sci-fi but not hard sci-fi and sticks mostly to one planet. I’m witholding judgement on the ending until I read the second book because I have some conflicting feelings about it. Tags: F/F romance, bones, so many bones, Sci-fi, mystery

Ancillary Justice - Ann Leckie: Told from the perspective of a ship AI that was once many different ancillaries. The story jumps back and forth between the present where she inhabits one body and the past to how that came to occur. It was super unique and engaging. I’ve seen this on a few lists for LGBT content which maybe there is in later books but that tag comes from the the ship AI being confused by gender since her language just uses “she/her” pronouns for everything. Therefor, yes technically any romances that occur are queer because every single character is referred to via she/her. I love language stuff like that though. Theres so many details that I was deeply fascinated by. Tags: sci fi, space politics, clones, unique perspective. 

The Raven Tower - Ann Leckie: Similar to her other book above, she plays with storytelling and narrator perspective. This is from the perspective a god who is a giant rock and switches between past and present. It was a bit slow at first, as it is a rock telling the story, but its well worth it and the ending was so fulfilling. I REALLY enjoyed the world building, everything felt neatly crafted as piece by piece the machine comes together and turns slowly. The protagonist human is also explicitely trans. Tags: politics, fantasy, god wars, trans protagonist.

Swordspoint - Ellen Kushner: An older book, but focuses around the politics of a city where swordsmen fromt he lower city are hired to fight for the aristocrats in the higher city. Follows the best swordsman and his [insufferable] scholar boyfriend, but switches perspectives a lot. Its fun, I might reread it. Tags: heavy politics, aristocrat bullshit, M/M romance, swordfighting!

Kings of the Wild - Nicholas Eames: This book read Very much like someone’s first classic D&D campaign, for better or for worse. I Loved it because the heart, passion, and sincerety put into it was so palpable and it feels like a campaign where everyone comes in with goofy joke characters and then midway through they get Really into it and suddenly everyone’s crying because that joke backstory they made has implications. Its about a bunch of retired legendary old men adventurers who get called back for one more job - to rescue the leader’s daughter. Tags: Sad old men, good fathers, fantasy, gay wizard, tabletop inspired.

Bloody Rose - Nicholas Eames: The sequel to the previous book (though it could be read alone). It really goes into more depth and analyzes some of the previous worldbuilding more, pulling apart some of the problems in the world that were swept away previously. I liked it slightly less but its still very good. It follows a bard joining up with an adventuring band to fight a...dragon? Maybe. Tags: F/F romance, are monsters people, necromancy, dragons, fantasy.

The Golem and the Jinni - Helene Wecker: A newly made golem woman and a Djinn who was trapped for thousands of years both in up in New York City in 1900, and their paths eventually intertwine. Really amazing perspective of Jewish and Arab immigrant communities and cultures in NYC. Switches point of view through many characters in the communities who come in and out of their lives. Tags: Supernatural beings, urban fantasy, historical.

The Monster of Elendhaven - Jennifer Giesbrecht: Very short book I read in one sitting about terrible evil men doing terrible evil things. One of them is unkillable, the other one is sorcerer and theyre tied together through a dark fate to destroy the world. I was deeply into the mythology and the way everything wove together. You know I’m a sucker for weird god stuff and I was provided for. Uhh trigger warning for a lot of stuff here, graphic violence, sexual assault, etc. Tags: Evil stuff, magic, dark mythology and folklore, capitalism, revenge plots.

The Black God’s Drums - P. Djeli Clark: Another short one read in one sitting, set in an alternate post-civil war setting New Orleans where a girl has a Goddess of storms living inside her. Tags: alternate history, bi protagonist, gods and goddesses. 

The Claidi Journals - Tanith Lee: So this was a reread of a kind of obscure series I read when I was a kid and I immensely enjoyed. Caveat that it is a young-adult series but it was such a fascinating and vibrant blend of fantasy magic and sci-fi, there’s little blend between the magic and technology of the realm. It’s about terrible families doing terrible things and the women who got accidentally caught up in it. It also has one of the most interesting women characters I’ve ever read who doesn’t even appear much in the books but whose legacy impacts every character. Tags: Science fantasy, aristocrat bullshit, bad moms, hetero but chill. 

Mixed Feelings:

Uprooted - Naomi Novik: Reclusive wizard who holds an evil forest at bay takes on an apprentice girl who gets entangled in further politics of the nation. I got Really into the worldbuilding, plot, and writing of this book and it hooked me pulling me along. However I have a major frustration with it that really prevents me from putting it in the “loved” category. If I could edit out about 20 lines I’d have found it perfect. I know other folks who disagree with me though so I’ll still recomend it. Tags: wizards, nature magic, politics, grumpy tower wizard, unfortunately heterosexual.

Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst: Lesbian princesses and arranged marriages uh oh. Ones a ranger jock the others a sorcerer. Its fine and cute, I wasn’t really happy with the antagonist reveal at the end though. Tags: Aristocrat bullshit, politics, F/F romance, arranged marriage angst, forbidden magic.

Wayward Son - Rainbow Rowell: I really enjoyed the first book of this series and found it a delightfully self-indulgent transparent Harry Potter derivation. That sort of falls apart in the second book where having to build off something that worked as a one-off just doesn’t extend to a more filled out story and left me feeling unsatisfied. But, once again, the world building is delightful and I’m charmed by the magic system and a British person’s opinion of America. Tags: M/M romance, magic, America!, roadtrip, vampires

The Last Sun - K.D. Edwards: Modern fantasy tarot inspired world building. The main character is the last remnant of the “Sun” house that was ripped apart in a terrible way. He has PTSD and is hired to find a missing man, along the way uncovering a deeper conspiracy involving his house and past. It was fine, its a good book. I just wasn’t into it that much. Also massive trigger warnings for sexual assault, torture, etc. Tags: M/M romance, mystery, gritty, magic. 

Vicious - V.E. Schwab: I enjoyed it and it was a short quick read, but for some reason I’ve never been able to get into V.E. Schwab much. Not sure why. Man with power over pain is released from prison and seeks vengeance on his former friend who put him there - who is now a superhero, and adopts a young girl necromancer in the process. Tags: villains, everyone is evil, superpowers, modern, necromancy, unwilling father figure

The City Stained Red - Sam Sykes: I really just started skimming while reading this one tbh. Trash man swordfighter and his disfunctional adventuring party trying to collect their payment in a terrible city. It felt like someone’s D&D campaign but in the worst way where everyone is an edgelord dark backstory. I honestly didn’t like a single character. But, that’s fine it just wasn’t for me. I see this get put on lists for having a bi-character. Which I guess technically but I wasn’t a huge fan of how that became relevant. Tags: tabletop inspired but insecure about it, gritty, terrible city, terrible people, bi protagonist

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Good God, Y’All: Part Two

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,944

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: so sorry this wasn’t out on thursday! my sister just went back to college so i got caught up in spending time with her.

I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

The sun was hot as it shone down on you. There were no clouds in sight to protect you from the rays, but you kept a high head as you searched for anything in this desolate town. The near side of the street has a sporting goods store advertising ammo, rods and reels, and a thirty percent sale for Pioneers Day; the far side is residential. Apart from you and the Winchesters, there were no other signs of life.

From across the street next to a sporting goods store, Big Louie’s, there was a car that was overturned in the street. Gripping your gun tightly, you approached the car cautiously. Peering in, it was empty of any sign of human life. Looking at the brothers, you shook your head to signal to them that it was empty. It was time to move on since Rufus was here and in trouble; not to mention the demons.

A sprinkler is running in front of one of the houses: whatever happened to clear the area happened fast enough that no one turned it off. There's another car in the street, this one tan and the right way up. The driver's door is open, the engine is running, and the radio is playing "Spirit in the Sky". You didn’t have to approach it to know it was empty. Turning off the car, you looked around in frustration.

A banner hangs over the street, welcoming folks to the seventy-fifth anniversary of River Pass, Colorado's Pioneer Days, with pictures of Grand Marshall Jerry Wanek and Rodeo Queen Lee Lee Laschuk. Something sparks at the gas station which pulled your attention to a silver four-door sedan. The driver's door stands open. There's a baby stroller next to the door and a great deal of blood in front of and leading away from the door. You three approach the car, but no one was inside. There's a large hole in the windshield, but otherwise, there is nothing else suspicious.

“What the hell happened?” you exclaimed. Just as you three were going to go on, you heard a gun cock from behind your head. Quickly whipping around, you leveled your shotgun at whoever was pointing theirs at you.

“Ellen?” Sam asked as you lowered your gun.

“Hello, boys. Y/N.”

“Ellen, what the hell is going on here?” you asked as she approached. She didn’t say anything except to throw water in yours and Dean’s faces since Sam was too far from her. Sighing, you closed your eyes as the water dripped from your eyes and mouth.

“We’re us,” Dean spoke.

“We got tattoos, remember?” you huffed as you wiped the water off. Ellen refused to say more, but she led the way to a church where hopefully you would get some answers. She led you through a corridor and down a hallway where there was a devil’s trap drawn inside the doorway and a line of salt across the threshold. You four walk across it with no problems.

“Real glad to see you boys. You too Y/N,” she said as she went to hug Dean. When she pulled away, she slapped him hard across the face which caused you to gasp in shock. “The can of whoopass I ought to open on you!”

“Ow!”

“You can't pick up a phone? What are you, allergic to giving me peace of mind? I got to find out that you're alive from Rufus?”

“Sorry, Ellen,” he sighed.

“Yeah, you better be. You better put me on speed dial, kid.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he nodded. After a pause, she turns to lead you three further inside.

“What is going on, Ellen?” you asked.

“More than I can handle alone.”

“How many demons are there?” Sam asked.

“Pretty much the whole town, minus the dead people and these guys,” she said as she stopped outside of a closed door. Whoever was inside was safe from the demons out there. “So, this is it, right? End times? It’s got to be.”

“Seems like it,” Sam sighed. 

Ellen knocked on the door before letting whoever was behind know it was her. The peephole opened before it closed and the door swung open. Inside the room was all kinds of different people, all of which weren’t demons. Taking a deep breath, you projected an invisible wall of magic throughout the room to see if you could spot anything that your eyes couldn’t see. No one seemed too hurt, and most importantly, no one was a demon. However, there was a man with glasses sitting by himself that caught your attention. He wasn’t a demon, but he wasn’t human either.

“This is Sam, Dean, and Y/N. They're hunters. Here to help.”

“You guys hip to this whole demon thing?” Austin, the guy who opened the door asked.

“Yeah. Are you?” Dean asked.

“My wife's eyes turned black. She came at me with a brick. Kind of makes you embrace the paranormal,” Roger, the guy that wasn’t human said. He brought his right hand to his chin, contemplating his ring. Something wasn’t right with him.

“Alright, catch us up,” you said to the woman.

“I doubt I know much more than you. Rufus called and said he was in town investigating omens. All of a sudden, the whole town was possessed. Jo and I were nearby—”

“You’re hunting with Jo? Where is she?”

“Yeah, for a while now. We got here, and the place—well, the place was like you see it. Couldn't find Rufus, then Jo and I got separated. I was out looking when I found you.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll find her,” you assured her.

“Either way, these people cannot just sit here,” Sam declared. The pregnant woman in the room startled just as Roger played with his ring. “We got to get them out now.”

“No, it's not that easy. I've been trying. We already made a run for it once.”

“What happened?” you asked.

“There used to be twenty of us,” Ellen sighed. Excluding the three new hunters to arrive, there were only ten people in the room.

“Well, there's three of us now—”

“You don't know what it's like out there,” Ellen interrupted you. “Demons are everywhere. We won't be able to cover everybody.”

“Why don’t you let me worry about that, yeah? I’m not the same person as I was when we first met.”

“What if we get everyone guns?” Sam asked before Ellen could question you.

“What, are you gonna arm up baby bump over here?” Dean scoffed.

“More salt we can fire at once, more demons we can keep away.”

“There's a sporting goods store we passed on Main on the way in. I bet they got guns.”

“Alright, you stay. We’ll go,” Sam said as the brothers dropped their bags.

“What about—”

“Ellen, if Jo and Rufus are out there, I’ll bring her back. You have my word,” you promised. Austin opened the door to let you out, and you three leave the room.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on,” Dean stopped his brother. “Why don't Y/N and I just go?”

“What? Alone?”

“Well, yeah. Somebody's got to stay here and start giving them Shotgun 101.”

“Yeah. Ellen,” he said before trying to go up the stairs when his brother stopped him.

“No. It's gonna go a lot faster if you stay and help, okay?”

“While you go get guns and salt and look for Jo and Rufus? That's stupid.”

“I’ll look for Jo and Rufus. Don’t worry, Sam, we got this.”

“You don't want me going out there,” Sam said when he came to the realization.

“I didn't say that.”

“Around demons.”

“He didn't say that,” you sighed.

“Fine, then let's go,” he smiled tightly before going up the stairs. Sighing, you and Dean followed him to the street which was still dead silent.

“I'll get the salt. You two get the guns,” Sam declared.

“We'll go together.”

“Dean, it's right there. Can we at least do this like professionals?” he asked as he raised his gun before heading for the Quick-Mart at the corner of St. Olaf and Riverside. You and Dean watched him go before heading to Big Louie’s where the guns were located.

“Dean, something isn’t right,” you confessed as you walked.

“With Sam? I agree.”

“No, with Roger. The guy with the glasses and the big ass ring on his finger. When we entered that church, I made sure everyone was alright and human, but that guy wasn’t. He’s not a demon, but he’s not human. I don’t know if the rest even know.”

“We’ll deal with that when we get back. Come on,” he said before entering the place. It was easy work getting the guns, it’s as if the demons didn’t even want to come at you. You were on your way back when you realized something.

“Where are the demons?” you asked.

“What?”

“The demons. If they knew we were here, they would be up our asses, you know this. With Michael’s sword and Lucifer rising, they should be here. So, where the hell are they?”

“I don’t want to know. Let’s just get Sam and go.”

Back at the church, it was time to try and get the civilians experts on guns. With the number of demons out there as they say there are, then everyone would need to know how to work a gun. While Sam and Dean taught them how to, you were standing off in the corner with Ellen to talk privately.

“I didn’t see Jo out there. I’m sure she’s fine if she’s with Rufus. Plus, she’s a strong woman. But, I’ll go back out there and check again. I promise you,” you said before looking up and seeing Roger fumble with his gun. Pattering her on the back, you walked over to him while Sam and Dean talked in another corner.

“Need some help?” you asked, hoping you would have time to try and figure out who the hell he is.

“Oh, I think I got it,” he stuttered as he fumbled with it again.

“Let me show you,” you said as you grabbed the shells from his hand. Upon the first contact, your eyes clouded over as you got another vision. Red, that’s all you saw. A ring, kind of like the one on Roger’s fingers. Faint screaming, that’s all you could hear. Roger pulled his hand away and that is when the pictures and screaming stopped.

“I got it,” he said sternly.

“O-Okay,” you whispered as you backed away from him slowly.

“I'll be back,” Ellen said, thankfully breaking yours and Roger’s stare.

“Where are you going?” you asked.

“I can't sit here on my ass. My daughter's out there somewhere. I'm not back in half an hour, go. Get these people out of here.”

“No, wait. I'll go with you,” Sam said eagerly.

“Whoa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a second?” Dean asked as he pulled his brother out the door to talk privately. Going up to Ellen, you put a hand on her shoulder.

“I can go with you. I’m more useful up there than I am down here.”

“No, one Winchester is enough,” she said just as Sam and Dean came back. Sam looked at Ellen and she walked with him out of the church and onto the street. Walking over to Dean, you looked at him with a confused look.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” he sighed before helping the people with the guns. Sighing, you looked over at Roger to see him playing with his ring once more. There was something about that damn ring you didn’t like.

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[spn-ficfanatic]

F*ck Cancer- Ch 2: The Rest Period

SERIES MASTERLIST - CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER THREE

Summary: You’re on a chemo-break for a month… what will you and the boys get up to before you start your next cycle?

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour… the whole kit and caboodle

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean x Platonic!Reader* *For my Dean ladies: it may not be romantic between him and the reader, but it’s a very close brotherly/sisterly relationship and I still think y’all will really enjoy it :)

Words: 2900

Warnings: Cancer/chemo talk, swearing

A/N: I was gonna wait a little longer to post this but I’m having a pretty shit day and need to make someone happy. Hopefully I succeed with this xx I rushed with updating the tag list a little, I hope I didn’t miss anyone!

WEEK 1

Sam was knocking on the bathroom door between heaves, your head in the toilet bowl after your last treatment of chemo. Thankfully you were now in the “rest” period, and wouldn’t be back at the hospital for a few weeks.

“Y/N, please just let me in? I can help,” he begged.

“No,” you croaked out. “I look disgusting, I smell disgusting... it’s basically a war zone in here.”

“You’ve seen Dean after a heavy night of drinking Y/N, I can handle anything you throw my way I promise,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

You looked at the door, tears streaming silently down your face but a small smile despite yourself. “No pun intended?” you asked. You heard Sam chuckle from behind the door as you continued. “I mean, I’ll try not to “throw” anything your way but I won’t make promises I can’t keep.”

“Open up Y/N,” he told you, a bit calmer this time. You sighed and shuffled across the floor on your bottom to the door, unlocking it with a quick flick. He opened it gently, so as not to hit you in the process, and knelt down to look you over.

“How you feeling now?” he asked, brushing your hair behind your ears.

You shrugged. “I just threw my guts up so yer… all in all, you won’t be kissing me any time soon,” you pouted, jutting out your bottom lip for effect.

He smiled and leaned in, pecking you on the lips gently. As he pulled away you looked at him surprised and he chuckled.

“You could smell like a zoo and I’d still kiss you Y/N.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you told him, getting ready to stand. He held out his hands, not lifting you but giving you the chance to do it yourself for which you were grateful. You gave him a nod and slipped your arms around his waist, giving him a hug.

“Thanks for being here Sam. Unlike your traitorous brother,” you joked.

“Screw him for making money to feed us hey?” Sam replied, slipping an arm around your waist and guiding you to your bedroom, which was now downstairs next to the study.

“Well, feed you. Can’t say I’ve had the appetite lately,” you complained. You missed your favourites: tacos, stir fry, icecream... Nothing quite tasted the same at the moment, and even when you felt like you could eat you really didn’t want to.

“You’ll get there, you’re on your rest period now so I bet all that will come back in the next day or two,” he tried to reason as he followed your slow pace.

You reached your bed and sat down with a huff, completely worn out. You picked at your sleeve nervously, and Sam noticed.

“What is it?” he asked, and you looked at him confused. “You um, you only do that when your worried about saying something.”

Your eyes widened and up pulled your hand away. “You’ve noticed that?”

He laughed and sat down next to you. “Yer, amongst other things. So what’s up?”

“Will you, err,” you trailed off, hesitant to ask. “Could you, could you lay with me for a while? Until I fall asleep?”

He looked surprised but happy, and didn’t even answer before taking off his shoes and gesturing for you to lay down. You rested your head on the pillow as Sam took your shoes off as well, and the mattress dipped as he lay behind you, spooning you gently.

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” he asked you softly, brushing a hand through your hair. You nodded, and despite yourself felt a few tears fall down your cheeks. You managed not to clue Sam in, and as he continued to stroke your hair you quickly fell asleep under his watchful gaze.

--------------------------

WEEK 2

Dean watched with an amused grin as you scarfed down your sundae. You could feel his gaze on you, and eventually you lifted your head and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Want some?” you asked, licking your lips to savour every last drop of ice cream. It was your first bowl since you’d started the chemo, and after a week without it your tastebuds were finally returning to normal; you’d never tasted anything so heavenly before in your life.

Dean looked on with mock disgust. “God no, you've practically drooled into the bowl.”

“Pfft, more for me then,” you shrugged, enjoying another spoonful.

--------------------------

WEEK 3

Some days it was easy to forget you had a rock in your brain. Today wasn’t one of those days though, and as you sat behind the wheel of your car it hit you… you had no idea where you were. With shaky hands you pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned off the engine. Sitting for a moment, you looked around. Nothing seemed familiar, and you began to wonder if you took a wrong turn somewhere. Reaching over for your purse, you rummaged around and breathed a sigh of relief when you found your phone. It took some effort to hit the correct buttons, you had to try more than once through the shaking, but eventually you were dialling Sam. He picked up nearly instantly.

“Hey Y/N, everything ok?” he asked, concern already evident in his voice. You could remember that he hadn’t wanted you to go out on your own, but you’d practically insisted by promising to smother him in his sleep if he didn’t let you have a few moments by yourself. Lord knew you were kicking yourself now. You swallowed the rising lump in your throat as you tried to speak without crying.

“Sam I-I don’t, I don’t know where I am,” you got out before the tears betrayed you and started flowing despite your best efforts. “What was I doing again?”

“It’s ok Y/N, take a deep breath,” he told you, trying to sound calm himself. He was moving on the other end of the phone you could tell, and you prayed he was coming to find you. “Can you look around and tell me what you see?”

You took a deep shaky breath and tried to find a landmark. “There’s some street signs,” you told him, sniffling.

“That’s good hun, really good. Can you tell me what they say?”

A sob escaped and your held your hand over your mouth as you shut your eyes tightly. “I-I’m scared, I’m scared Sam,” you told him through hiccupped breaths.

“You don’t need to be scared, I’m right here with you I promise,” he soothed. “Tell me what you see and I’ll find you, I’ll come and get you ok? I’ve already got the car keys in my hand, just take a second to catch your breath and then tell me what the sign says.”

You nodded, allowing yourself a moment to calm down. Once you felt you could speak again you looked up and read the sign out.

“Did you say Carver St?” he repeated, the tone of his voice feeling strange to you.

“Yer, I’m parked next to a bench and uh,” you leaned over to take a closer look. “Bus stop 35. Does that help?”

There was a pause on the other end, and you heard the front door open and close behind him.

“Sam, are you there?” you raised your voice, your heart rate increasing.

“Sorry Y/N I’m right here, I’ll see you in just a moment, I’ll stay on the line,” he promised, his voice still holding a tone you couldn’t quite place.

“I’m so sorry Sam, I’m such an idiot,” you sobbed, the tears falling once more. You were never like this normally and you couldn’t understand where the emotions were coming from, but right now it felt like you’d never stop. “I never should have left the house, this stupid fucking tumour is ruining my life.”

A knock on your car window pulled you back from your self-loathing and you screamed in fright, dropping your phone. Turning, you were shocked to find Sam standing on the other side of the glass.

“Sam?” you whispered, staring at him wide eyed. He pulled the door open and before he could offer you a hand out of your seat you leapt out and wrapped your arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. He knelt down so you were sitting on the driver’s seat, and stroked your hair while he waited for you to calm down.

“It’s ok, I have you, I’ve got you,” he muttered, holding you tighter.

“How did you get here so quickly?” you pulled your head back to look at him, your voice shaking. He frowned when he looked at you, and gently wiped the tears off your cheeks with his thumb. Clearing his throat, he looked to your right and pointing to a house three doors down.

“The one with the red roof,” he told you. “Do you recognise it?”

You looked at it, squinting your eyes against the harsh sun, and shook your head slightly. “I-I don’t think...”

Sam sighed and ran a hand over his face with a groan, and you stared at him with worry.

“Sam? Are you angry with me?” you asked timidly, and his face fell.

“No, of course not, I’m sorry Y/N. It’s just… Y/N, that’s your house.”

You blinked after a beat, taking a moment to process that. “No, that’s not…”

Sam reached over and took the keys out of your ignition, pulling you back and closing the car door behind you. Wrapping an arm around your waist he pulled you gently forward  and toward the front door. Your feet hit the pavement in front of your lawn and you did a double take; it felt like a glitch in your brain as it suddenly caught up with you. You gasped, and Sam looked down to study your face.

“Y/N?”

“I’m so sorry Sam,” you whispered. “I, um, I remember now.”

He walked with you silently inside, not letting go of you until you were safely on the couch as he kneeled in front of you. He ran a hand over your hair and you closed your eyes with a sigh, leaning into it as he left it cradling your cheek.

“Are you ok now?” he pressed, looking for any sign you were lying but you nodded honestly. “Should I call the doctor?”

You shook your head. “They told me this might happen, you know, as things progressed.”

Sam frowned and let his hand fall, and you quickly grabbed it and held it tightly. “Thank you for rescuing me,” you told him. “Even if I was three doors away. You helped ground me, I would have been lost without you.”

He kept his eyes downcast and nodded, clearing his throat before standing abruptly.

“I’ll make you a tea, stay here and rest,” he told you in a husky voice, and before you could say anything further he walked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

--------------------------

WEEK 4

Since the incident the week before, neither Sam nor Dean had left you alone. And while that might have annoyed the crap out of you only 2 weeks ago, now it left you in a constant state of reassurance. You’d not had any further episodes of jamais vu thankfully, and despite your protests Sam’s call to your doctor had reassured him to some degree that this was normal. You weren’t getting any better though obviously, so the week before you were due back in hospital for the next round of tests and treatment the guys decided you all needed a break.

“Disneyland? Are you frigging serious?” you gasped with a huge grin, which was mirrored by Dean and Sam.

“Hell yes,” Dean replied. “Why should little 10 year old Leukemia Luke get a trip to Disneyland while you miss out?”

You laughed as a stray tear escaped your eye, and you wiped your cheeks with the palms of your hands.

“Besides,” Sam continued. “You have one more week before the next chemo cycle starts and we could all use a bit of fun.”

“When do we leave?” you asked eagerly.

“As soon as you’re packed,” Dean replied, grabbing his keys for emphasis.

“And I’ve already laid some stuff out for you,” Sam added. “So it shouldn’t be long until we’re on the road.”

You jumped up onto your feet and ran to Dean, embracing him in a tight warm hug which he returned with a grin.

“Thank you thank you thank you,” you chanted, kissing his cheek. He patted you on the back and let you go, handing you off to Sam who was waiting to join you in your bedroom.

“It’s nothing. Now go pack and let’s get this show on the road, I needa bag me a Tinkerbell,” he replied with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were sure you didn’t sleep this much last time you were on a roadtrip with the guys, but a 20hr drive really took it out of you these days. You caught the occasional concerned glance back at you from each of the brothers, obviously they were thinking the same thing, but graciously the conversation was steered away from the doom and gloom of your life and onto memories of hunts together.

“Oh and let’s not forget when Dean started rambling about Werewolves in the ER,” you laughed, Sam joining in. Dean grumbled from the drivers seat at the memory, and blushed slightly.

“Hey hey, I was concussed ok?” he tried to defend.

“Dude you got yourself a psych evaluation,” Sam replied through a grin, causing your laughter to double in the backseat.

“Yer, sneaking you out of there was fun,” you added, wiping your eyes as you calmed down.

“Alright alright, let’s get off me and onto the plan shall we? Y/N, what do you want to do first?” Dean asked, looking at you in the rear-view mirror.

You excitedly told them your plans for the following day, you’d been wanting to see Disneyland your entire life so it was an easy question to answer. Sam and Dean shared a glance or two, smiling at your enthusiasm and grateful to be able to do this for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You flopped down at the table with your chips and Pepsi, trying to muster up the energy to eat something. Sam and Dean were currently arguing about which ride to go on next, and you tried to tune them out. Your head had been pounding since the 2nd ride and no amount of painkillers were helping to dull it. You winced as a nearby speaker rattled off the name of a lost child, and pinched the bridge of your nose as you closed your eyes.

“Y/N?” Dean asked through a mouthful of chips, and you felt Sam’s hand on your knee. “You ‘right?”

You nodded gently, placing your palms on the table to lift yourself. “Yer I’ll be ok, just a headache. I’m going to the bathroom.”

Sam made to follow you but you pushed him down. “The LADIES bathroom Sam, I’ll be fine.”

You didn’t wait for a response and briskly moved yourself to the building nearby. Once inside you ran to a cubicle and promptly threw up in the toilet. Your head throbbed with each heave and tears started streaming down your face. You could hear a few people murmuring, surmising that you were sick from the rides, and thankfully they left you alone. Once you were done you turned and sat down on the floor, sobbing despite your best efforts to stay calm. You wanted this so badly, this trip was everything to you, but you just couldn’t enjoy it anymore.

“Are you alright?” you heard a timid voice ask, and you looked up to see a girl about 7 years old watching you. Not wanting to scare her you decided to get up off the ground and clean yourself up.

“Yer kid I’m fine, too many rides,” you tried to joke, washing your hands in the basin.

She nodded and gaving a knowing smile before waving as she turned and walked away. You sighed as you looked in the mirror, noting with disdain that Sam and Dean would see through you in an instant if you tried to lie. Resigning yourself you returned to the table.

“Hey guys, I’m not feeling so great,” you started.

“Headache?” Dean asked and you shrugged.

“Yer, more or less. I don’t want to, but I think I’m ready to go back to the motel. I’ll just grab a cab and you guys can hang out a little longer.” They both huffed a laugh and you rolled your eyes. “Yep, stupid suggestion I know.”

“Let’s get outta here,” Sam told you, slinging his arm over your shoulders as he kissed your temple.

As you walked toward the exit you were suddenly overcome with emotion, and swallowed thickly to get rid of the rising lump in your throat.

“Thanks for this,” you told them quietly. “It was… incredible.”

“Don’t mention it kid. We’ll come back when you’re feeling better, promise,” Dean told you, patting you on the back.

You nodded sadly. You wouldn’t ever admit it to them, but a niggling feeling inside you was telling you that there wouldn’t be a next time.

CONT.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SERIES MASTERLIST - CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER THREE

MY MASTERLIST

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[spideymybucky]

Make it stop 2

Peter Parker x MJ Peter Parker x Reader Tony x Adopted!Daughter!Reader Steve Roger x Reader Avenger x Reader

Warnings: Depression, sadness, angst, crying a lot, invasion of privacy.

Word count:  1.2k+

A/n: So I had to take it down, no kid, like five times. People were not seeing it or it would be posted on the tags. It’s really frustrating when you put hard work on something and you want it out. Hope everything goes well this time and y’all can read it.

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2  Next >>>

An annoying beeping and vibrating sound woke her up. Stretching her hands to find the source of her annoyance, (Y/n) grabbed her phone and turned the alarm off. It was 6:30 am, if she stayed in bed any longer she would be late. She wanted to be late, scratch that she didn’t want to go. Facing Peter was going to be hard, but facing Peter, MJ, Ned and Betty together was even worse. So, with a swift movement, she threw her phone across the room and cocooned herself into bed.

“Why the hell aren’t you in school, (Y/n)?” More than an hour and half passed when Bucky entered her room screaming. He looked at her tranquil body, wrapped around her black duvet.

“You better have a good reason, (Y/l/n).”  (Y/n) groaned at Buckys annoying voice, waking up from her deep slumber. He sighed and stat at her messy bed, grabbing her homework and putting it on her bag.

“Bucky, let me sleep.” Her hoarse voice broke the silence. She sat up looking at Bucky, and he broke a little. Her eyes were swollen, her lips chapped and her skin dried; in other word she looked like shit.

“You should’ve called me when you decided not to go to school, instead of Principal Morita having to inform Steve. I think he’s scarred for life, y’know Steve almost killed the man when he didn’t know where you were…” Bucky rambled on. He didn’t seem mad, and he wasn’t mad, he was just worried.

“I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood to go to school. I think I’m coming down with something.” Tony nodded at her, getting off of her queen sized bed.

“You should tell that to Steve, not me Doll. Hell, you need to talk to Tony before he finds out; I don’t want to fight’em” She heard his faint voice, as he strutted out of her room. God, she hatted this feeling of uselessness and dread. She shouldnt’ve skipped school today, all she’s doing is causing more problems within the avengers. _I just wish that everything would be like before all this happened. _She looked at the mirror in front of her and sighed. _I’m such a weak person, get a grip of yourself. _ She closed the sink tap and changed her clothes quickly, she grabbed her phone and car keys and jogged out. She ran through the common floor, seeing Tony and Steve.

“(Y/n), what the hell?” Tony screamed after her.

“Stop running and get back here, kid. We need to talk” Steves stern voice resounded on the floor.  

She ignored all of their calls and left in a hurry through the elevator. Sure, Tony and Steve ran after her but it was in vain. She went to the black slick Ferrari and got in. She turned on the car, as Tony and Steve, followed by the rest of the gang, screamed at her to stop. With one last look she took off, sealing her fate with them. She was in trouble but she didn’t care, not anymore at least.

“God dammit, Tony, what the hell are we gonna do with her?” Steve screamed.

“You’re not the one responsible for her, Steve.” He jabbed back. Steve sighed and looked back at the team.

“She’s gonna be ok, Tony. She’s a responsible kid.” Natasha said, walking back to the elevator.

“Thats not the point Nat, she’s just a kid. I don’t even know why she skipped school yesterday.” Tony sighed.

“I might know why…” Wanda announced in a small voice. Bucky turned and looked at her, his blue defiant eyes were enough words for her.

“Might as well tell us, she’s not gonna talk anytime soon.” Tony pushed through Bucky and Sam.

“She’s gonna come for you, if you speak. I’m out, she’s scarier than Nat.” Sam said stepping into the elevator with Bucky.

“It’s called privacy, Tony.” He snarled at him. His posture was tense, as he stood with Sam.  “She’s a teenager, she might want some of that.” Tony rolled his eyes and dismissed them. He was worried about her, which made him paranoid and that led to bad decisions.

“Go on, Maximoff” Wanda tensed up next to Vision. She shacked her head in distraught and bit her lip.

“It’s been going on for weeks now, y’know? She hasn’t been the same girl for, maybe, a month now. It started with little things like: missing game night or movie nights, not going out with her friends as much, or just ignoring Peter from time to time…” Tony nodded, remembering the little signs he dismissed as her being moody or just herself. Sure, sometimes people wanted to be alone and with this line of work, it was bound to happen.

“I saw Peter and MJ together, might have to do with that. She always had for him and know her best friend is dating her other best friend, on top of that something is hurting her. She’s a ticking bomb, Steve; kind of like Buck when he first came.” Steve looked at Tony with worried eyes._ What the hell is going on with this girl?_

(Y/n) drove past the small areas of the compound as fast as she could. She wanted to get out, she need it to. It was like she was in a cage, all small and defenseless. F*ck, she couldn’t stand that. She stepped on the breaks and, with a loud screech, stopped the car.

“FCK!” (Y/n) slammed her head on the steering wheel, repeatedly. Her phone bleeped consecutively. She grabbed it and turned it off. The car stopped roaring, after a few minutes, and then everything was silent._ Fcking hell, god dammit, why can’t I just be ok? _

Getting out of the car, she slammed the door shot, leaving everything behind. She ran past the trees, for minutes. It was a sea of green and brown. Twigs would break under her steps. Her loud breath would scare the small animals away. The wind was blowing through her hair, making it dance. She was going as fast as her feet could, until she was in front of an open meadow.

Yellow flowers adorned the grown, with some red and blue ones. The wind rustled the trees, making them whistle out their secrets. She sat down, in the middle of a flower patch, taking in the blaring sun. In this moment, for only a few minutes, she felt at ease. Everything was ok. The world could stop and end, and she would be fine with it. This tranquility and ease, something she hadn’t felt in a long time, was recharging her.

“Then you’re left in the dust…” she started humming out Sunflower. Closing her eyes, she let the warmth and wind lull her to sleep, forgetting everything that happened. A few hours passed when the cold wind woke her up. She rapidly sat up, feeling dizzy for a minute, and looked at the darkened surroundings. The sky was a beautiful pink and purple color, signifying the end of the day. _How long have I been out? _She thought to herself.

Standing up was a mere problem. Her arms were sore from the sun and so was her face. It was a bearable feeling, something she had experienced before but she wasn’t used to it. Her lips felt try, and no amount of licking would wet them. She turned around, hearing steps and voices, but she wasn’t ready to leave. She didn’t want to leave this beautiful place, even though right at this moment it was creeping her out.

_Please, god please, just give me a few more minutes. _She pleaded to herself. The voices were getting stronger and the footsteps faster. She took a few closer to the woods, when brown doe like eyes found hers. Her breath caught itself on her throat, her had started sweating every step he got closer. She just stood there, with her beating heart. Run. Run. Run. Run. Her legs didn’t move an inch until he was near her.

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[waywardrose13]

The Hunter Diaries- Chapter Ten

Series Masterlist // Rose’s Masterlist

Warnings: None I don’t think. Maybe a little angst?

Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester had been your best friends for as long as you could remember. Being Bobby Singer’s adoptive daughter, it was sort of inevitable to know the brothers. You knew you’ve had a crush on the elder brother for a long time, but you always thought nothing would happen between the two of you. You’re not the picture perfect model and you aren’t the image every girl strives to be. But maybe, just maybe, you were wrong, and he would like you too. But could your happy ending be cut short?

SERIES TAGS, CHARACTER TAGS, FOREVER TAGS, FLUFF BINGO/ANGST BINGO TAGS ARE OPEN. SEND ME AN ASK!

*PLEASE EXCUSE ANY AND ALL GRAMMAR MISTAKES*

A/N- We’re cutting it down to the wire y’all. Maybe 2-3 more chapters? This chapter is pretty important. Shit is going down guys.

Dean raked a hand through his short cropped hair, a bottle of jack in the other hand and a large book on the table in front of him. You had been gone for nearly three days and the men had no leads on your whereabouts. Sam had to sit by and watch as his older brother went crazy, drinking himself through the day with his nose buried in every lore book he could find, desperately looking for Aamons name within one.

Sam flipped through a spell book across from Dean, his hazel eyes scanning each page carefully. It was an old grimoire, written by a witch in the early 1600’s. Elizabeth Gatton, one of the most powerful green witches that had ever walked the earth, had written down all of her spells in this book. It was easy magic, for it was used with herbs and energies, but the spells worked, and Sam hoped a few of them would be helpful for him.

Sam was desperate. You had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. He loved seeing you and Dean together, yourself and his brother needing love and something good in your lives. He loved you like a sister, and it would kill him if you died.

And then there was Bobby; you’re adoptive father who loved you more than anything. Granted, he loved the Winchester boys as his own. But you were different. You were the sunshine that came into his life after his wife died. You were the one who ultimately brought a smile back to his face. He was the one who held your hand when you got your first surgery. He was the one who watched with a wide smile as you had your first violin solo in your orchestra at age thirteen. He was the one who watched as you got your high school diploma, his gray blue eyes teary as his heart filled with absolute pride. He was the one who watched chick flicks with you and held you as you cried over your first heartbreak. Bobby Singer was the only father you had really ever had, and you were his only child. Just the thought of you in the hands of that evil son of a bitch made him sick to his stomach.

Sam sat with a picture of you in his hand. You were eleven years old then. He smiled at how young you looked. Your plump, rosy cheeks and short cropped, shiny hair stood out against the dullness of Sam’s own features. You were a bright spirit, noticeable in even photographs.

You had gone to live with Bobby a year prior the picture was taken and it was the first day you met the Winchesters. His eyes clouded over as he remembered the events that went down.

You were brushing your short cropped, H/C hair, your young eyes trained on yourself in the mirror. The soft creaks of Bobby’s old house calmed you as you swayed slightly to the song on the radio on your dresser.

“Birdy? Can you come down for a moment?” Bobby called. Your lips twitched at the nickname he began calling you and you set down your hairbrush, bounding down the stairs and into the library.

An unfamiliar man stood in the room. He had brown hair and brown eyes, a starting of a beard dusting his face. The hard look in his eyes made you cringe, and you took Bobby’s hand in your own.

“Who’s this, Bobby?” The man asked, his gravelly voice piercing your ears.

“Y/N,” Bobby answered. He glanced down at you for a moment. “She’s my daughter.”

“Daughter?” Another voice said. A young boy, around thirteen walked into the room then, a sandwich in hand.

“I’m adopted,” You said, all the men looking down at you at the sound of your bell like voice. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N-Singer, pleased to meet you.”

The man smiled. “I’m John Winchester. This here is one of my boys, Sam.” Sam nodded at you and gave a friendly smile, taking another bite of his sandwich, his shaggy hair flopping at the movement.

“And I’m Dean,” Said yet another voice. Dean walked in, a beer and his own sandwich in hand. His green eyes locked on yours, a kind smile quickly spreading on his face. “You’re tiny!”

“You’re just big,” You bit back. Sam sniggered and you earned a smirk from Dean and a nod of approval.

“You got a nice kid here, Bobby,” He said.

“I know.” Bobby squeezed your hand.

“Hey kid, wanna go play outside?” Sam asked. You furrowed your brows and looked up at Bobby.

“Go ahead,” He said. You smiled and took off with Sam hot on your heels.

“So where are your parents?” Sam asked, his stick drawing designs in the dirt. The hot sun beat down on you two, baking the ground and your skin. You took a deep breath and began drawing the petals of your flower.

“They’re dead,” You said. “Bobby took me in. He’s more of a dad then my biological one anyway.”

“He’s a good guy.” Sam nodded. “How old are you?”

“Eleven,” You answered. “You?”

“Fourteen. Dean’s eighteen.”

“Where’s your mom?” You asked.

“Dead.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“‘S okay. I never really knew her.” He shrugged sadly. “How’d your parents die?”

“A demon,” You said. “He was looking for me but found them instead.”

“Oh.”

“How’d your mom die?” You asked.

“A demon set her on fire on the ceiling of my nursery.”

“Oh… Yikes.”

“Yeah.”

“Sammy!” Dean’s voice rang through the junkyard. Sam sighed and got up, you following him. “Sam! Time to go!”

“I gotta run,” Sam said. “Thanks for hanging out with me.”

“Right back at ya,” You said. He gave you a quick hug and jogged over to his brother.

Bobby took a picture of you and Sam when the two of you weren’t paying attention. Your arms were around each other, embracing the blossoming friendship with open arms and warmed hearts.

***

Sam smiled at the memory. He thought you were a neat little kid. You were sarcastic and witty, but kind and gentle at the same time. Every now and again, the Winchesters would roll through town and the brothers became closer to you. He watched you grow, watched as your small crush for his older brother evolved into something much deeper. He had been rooting for you two since you were eighteen.

“I’ve got something,” Bobby said, his voice breaking Sam’s train of thought. The brothers glanced at each other and then got up from their seats, striding over to the older man. The peered over his shoulders, their eyes focusing on the page of the book he was reading.

“What is it?” Dean asked.

“Aamon. He’s a hybrid all right,” Bobby said. He let out a breath and shook his head. “Shoulda seen it coming.”

“Seen what coming?” Sam asked. The boys sat at the table with Bobby, their eyes trained intensely on the man as he began to tell Aamon’s story.

“Aamon is one of the oldest demons to ever live. He was in charge of his own legion in hell’s ‘military’. He’s the only hybrid Demon, which means there’s got to be some flaws to his making. Basically, Aamon’s hybrid side is partially dormant. It’s not at full power. However, there’s a spell that can be casted to awaken the hybrid side, bringing forth its full potential, inevitably leading to Aamon being one of the most powerful beings out there.”

“So, where does Y/N fall into all this?” Sam questioned.

“Well, for the spell to be casted, there are a handful of ingredients needed. For example-” He glanced down at the book- “Sulfur, hellebore, dragon’s blood, claw of a Chimera-”

“A Chimera?” Sam’s eyes widened. “Like, the greek mythological Chimera?”

“Yes, idjit, now can I read please?” Bobby gruffed. Sam slumped in his chair and let Bobby read. “And extracted Angel’s grace from an indirect source.”

“An indirect source?” Sam furrowed his brows.

“Yeah, which basically, it says here, can come from anywhere other that directly from an angel.”

“I still don’t understand where Y/N falls into all this,” Dean said. Sam and Bobby looked at each other, understanding suddenly dawning on the green eyes hunter’s face when he saw the looks his companions gave each other.

“It’s Y/N, isn’t it?” Dean choked. He felt as though his chest was tightening, fear and anxiety hitting him like a tidal wave as he suddenly felt the walls closing in on him. “She’s got the angel grace? She’s the final ingredient?”

Bobby nodded, a sullen weight falling heavy on all the men’s shoulders. No wonder Aamon had been so desperate to get to her. She was the final ingredient, the final key to unlocking his true powers.

“But there’s something else,” Bobby said.

“Jesus.” Sam dropped his head into his hands, his heart crashing in his chest with pure fear.

Bobby gulped and took a steadying breath, knowing that what he was about to say would be a game changer. He knew that the brothers would do anything to save Y/N, especially Dean, but with what came with Aamon’s spell, Bobby wasn’t sure even the Winchesters could stop him.

So gathering up his courage, he licked his lips and looked up at the boys. “Since hybrids are so rare and the spell is so tedious and powerful, unlocking a hybrid’s other side, allowing it to come to full power, is one of the potential sixty-six seals that could break Lucifer from Hell. If Aamon is successful, it’s not only allowing something incredibly dangerous into the world, but it’s allowing the devil himself one step closer to getting topside.”

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[atc74]

You Were The First - Chapter 4

Summary: Dean Winchester completed basic training in March 1941 and was offered an opportunity he can’t turn down, to fly with the Allied Forces and England’s Royal Air Force. It will provide a better future for him and his bride-to-be, but what he doesn’t know is it will change the lives of everyone around him.(This is loosely based on Pearl Harbor).

Square Filled: none for this chapter

Written for: na

Characters: Dean Winchester, Y/N Bennett, Mrs. Bennett, Arthur Ketch

Warnings: Angst, mentions of drinking, excessive alcohol consumption, mentions of death - This is not a happy chapter y’all, but it is essential to the story. 

Word Count: 1426

A/N: Thank you so much to @crispychrissy​ for her patience and guidance, and exceptional listening/reading skills. This probably would not have happened without her. An Anon sent me a request that I will also fulfill later in the series for an Eagles song. Guys, it has been a really long time since I was this excited about a series! I hope you like it!

YWTF Masterlist

Chapter 4

It had been more than two weeks since she had learned of Dean’s death. It had been eight days since they laid Dean to rest without his body. Y/N didn’t eat, she didn’t sleep. It seemed that she was not even capable of tears any longer, her body long having given up. A knock sounded at the door, startling her from her fog. Y/N stared blankly at the tea her mother kept forcing on her and ignored the sound. Her mother sighed loudly and walked through their home to answer the door.

“Oh Arthur! It’s so good to see you!” her mother’s voice carried through the first floor of their home. “Please, come in.” Y/N heard her greet their visitor, but she didn’t move. It wasn’t until her mother called to her did she rise from the small table, shuffling her feet to the front room.

“Hello, Arthur,” her voice was withdrawn as she had no emotion let to feel.

“Y/N, hello. It has been a long time; it’s nice to see you,” Arthur looked to her and smile; a smile she did not return.

“I’ll just leave you two to catch up,” her mother announced and slipped from the room. Y/N lowered herself to the sofa, legs curled up under her.

“You look well, Darling,” he spoke, a slight British accent still lingered.

Arthur Ketch was born and raised in England. He and his family moved to America when he was just ten years old. He was a year older than Y/N and since high school had carried a torch for her. He and Dean had argued and fought more than once about the attention Arthur had paid her over the years, though she always turned him down. Her heart belonged to Dean Winchester only. There would never be another living soul she would love like that.

Arthur’s family was wealthy and he had just returned from his final year of college. He filled her in on his travels but told her he had come back to Lawrence to run the family business, medical supplies. Ketch and Company was the leading supplier of medical instruments and supplies in this side of the Mississippi River. His father was a powerful business man and had just made Arthur an officer with the company. He was back for good now. Although her family had been friendly with the Ketch’s over the years, her father having done business with them frequently, she had never wanted anything other friendship from him.

“I would like to take you to dinner, Y/N. Please say you’ll join me?” Arthur requested, but there was no kindness in his tone or his eyes. She wasn’t hungry, but it was still a more pleasant prospect than spending another lonely evening with a cold cup of tea and her thoughts.

“Yes, Arthur. I would be happy to have dinner with you,” Y/N answered. “Let me just freshen up and we can go.”

“Yes, of course, Darling,” he replied, a cockiness in his voice that she had heard too many times over the last twelve years.

Y/N took her time dressing and applying some light makeup. Her hair pulled back in a simple bun, she descended the staircase to find Arthur still standing in the spot she had left him. “Thank you for waiting.”

“I’ve been waiting a long time,” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” she questioned, not hearing him properly.

“I said I don’t mind waiting,” he covered quickly and led her out the door to his waiting luxury sedan.

Arthur took Y/N to the nicest restaurant in Lawrence, Donovan’s Sirloin Room. They served a variety of choice beef cuts and fresh seafood. Y/N wasn’t ready for a public appearance, but is glad that she had finally left the house. She knew she would never stop mourning Dean, but would he really want her to fade from existence? She knew the answer and vowed to try to come back to life, a little at a time.

Despite the looks of other patrons around them, she found herself enjoying dinner and Arthur’s company. He had always been charming and funny and it suited him well. Y/N even found herself laughing a time or two at his stories. It didn’t escape Arthur’s attention that she enjoyed four side car’s with dinner.

It was well past seven when they left the restaurant, Arthur holding the door for her to slide back into his car, holding her elbow to keep her steady on her feet as she did so. “I would like to show you something, if that is okay?”

“I would like that Arthur,” she replied quietly, her words slightly slurred, not really looking forward to going home to her mother’s hovering. She looked out the window as Arthur drove through to the wealthier side of town. He drove slowly down the tree lined streets, leaves budding as the sun set in the west, giving them a golden hue as they rustled in the breeze.

“What is this Arthur?” Y/N asked when he pulled into the driveway of a large, white two story home.  

“This is mine; I purchased it yesterday. I figured with a college education and a new job, a new home rounded out the new start,” he stated, looking up at the structure through the windshield. “Would you like to come in for a drink?”

“I don’t think so, Arthur. Thank you very much for the offer, but this is the first time I have been out of the house since…” she couldn’t even bring herself to say the words.

“I am very sorry for your loss, Y/N. Your mother told me and I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. Dean was a good man,” Arthur conveyed.

“Yes, he was. He was the best. We were to be married in August. It’s not fair, but that is war, is it not?” Y/N felt the sting of tears behind her eyes. “Arthur, would you mind taking me home, please?”

“Of course, Darling. I am so sorry that I have upset you,” he reiterated.

“You didn’t Arthur, he did,” her voice was barely a whisper. The return drive to her parent’s house was silent. When he opened the door for her, she nearly fell on her face as the alcohol started to take it’s hold. Arthur walked her to the door to ensure she didn’t fall, then placed a chaste kiss to her cheek.

“Good night, Darling. I hope to see you again, soon,” he told her before returning to his car.  

~*~

“Y/N! It is high time you get out of that bed and do something with yourself!” Mrs. Bennett burst into Y/N’s room early. She flipped on the lights and threw back the curtains, letting the summer sun shine brightly through the windows. It was then that she noticed the empty bottles littering night stand, the vanity and a few scattered on the floor where they fell out of Y/N’s hand once she passed out.

“Noooo. It’s too early,” Y/N moaned and buried herself farther under the bed covers, as the bright light assaulted her senses and caused her brain to feel too large for her skull.

“You have been locked up in this house for weeks, with the exception of a couple of hours out with Arthur. You need to pull yourself together, child!” her mother was raising her voice higher and higher. Finally, Y/N had had enough.

“You don’t think I know that? I lost the love of my life, mother! We were getting married and he is gone. The only boy I have loved for sixteen years is dead!” Y/N collapsed into a heap of cotton and tears on her bedroom floor, her body wracked with the sobs she had been holding in since they had buried Dean.

Her mother did the only thing she knew how to do, she held her baby girl, a grown woman and practically a widow at only twenty years old. Mrs. Bennett’s heart broke for her daughter, not being able to imagine the pain she was experiencing.

“Mama, what am I supposed to do? It hurts so much, I wish I couldn’t feel anything!” she wailed in her mother’s arms. The two Bennett woman sat on the floor and cried together; one grieving for a lost love, the other grieving for a her daughter and a hurt she didn’t know how to fix.

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[iwillbeinmynest]

An Owed Debt- Bucky x May(oc)   Chapter 14

Authors Notes: Sorry I left y’all hanging. Got distracted with Cool Down and all that fluff. lol. This however contains zero fluff so you’ve been warned.

Notes/Warnings: medical procedures, mentions of needles, sad Bucky (yes that’s a warning) angst.

Wanda was nothing short of efficient. She had Travis rendered completely useless, the only functions she allowed him were that of his organs, to make sure he didn’t die. She kept his mind blank and dug around to try and find any hint of his past but like she expected he had been wiped, and extensively at that.

 “What can you see?” Steve asked her. He sat beside Travis, who was slumped against a wall, to make sure that if he somehow woke up he could be there to knock him out again.

 “Nothing.” Wanda shook her head. “Nothing important, anyways. His wipe was thorough, no trace of his past or where he came from. All that’s in there is Hydra...and May. He’s obsessed with her.”

 “He’s never going to see her again.” Steve said firmly, a tightness in his jaw. Wanda nodded in agreement and they booth looked back to see Bucky hovering over May, who was lying on the the medical table inside the jet.

 The jet hit a small patch of turbulence and Bucky stuck his hands out and grabbed May instinctively to keep her still when her body shook. When the quinjet settled he sighed and let her go, running his hands through his hair for the hundredth time. She hadn’t woken up. She went from screaming in the chair to limp and completely silent.

 Physically she was fine. Actually, according to FRIDAY she was better than before. Her body was healthier than it had ever been. The blood sample they took from her hadn’t finished being analyzed and wouldn’t be until Tony got his hands on it. Steve had called him and made sure Stark would be ready as soon as they landed.

 But none of that made Bucky feel any better.

 She still hadn’t woken up. He didn’t know how long she had been in that chair. Was it her first time? Second? Third? How much of her had been wiped? Had she forgotten him?

 Bucky braced himself on the table at the thought of her having no memory of him. He felt selfish, they had only known each other for a week and a half, and maybe he cared about her more than she cared about him, but he needed her, now.

 Not that he deserved her. He had failed her, he let Travis walk right into his apartment, gave her his number and teased her about their date. He wanted to vomit, knowing he held the blame for this.

 “It’s not your fault you know?”

 Bucky whipped his head back to see Steve frowning at May’s current state.

 “This was Hydra,” Steve continued. “They did this to her, not you.”

 “I let him into my house.” Bucky growled.

 “How would you have known?” Steve countered. He hated knowing that Buck was beating himself up about this.

 Bucky didn’t have an answer, he just new it was his fault. “When do we land?” Changing the subject was his only defense against Steve.

 Steve looked back to the pilots seat and read one of the monitors. “Five minutes.”

 “Good.” Bucky straightened and pulled on the fingerless gloves he wore. He refused to look back and see Travis. “Get him out first, and lock him up tight. If I see him, I will kill him.”

 Stark was waiting on the landing deck with the medical team. When the jet landed, He rushed into the jet and helped them load her onto a gurney. He checked and double checked her vitals before grabbing the blood sample that FRIDAY had been analyzing.

 “Who took the blood?” Tony asked as he squinted at the vial.

 “Steve did.” Bucky answered as he kept pace with the small team.

 “Okay. I’m probably going to have to draw more but this was a good start.”

 “Do you have any answers?” Bucky asked. He couldn’t imagine a man like Stark not knowing anything about what’s going on.

 “I know as much as you, maybe less. She looks to be in good health, her mental state is still unknown.” Tony stopped in the hallway blocking Bucky’s path to follow May, who was being pushed through some double doors. “Barnes. Barnes!” Tony had to shout and push Bucky back to catch his full attention. “Unless you’ve got some medical degree you’re not telling me about, you are no use to her, right now. Let the doctors do their job.”

 Bucky clenched his jaw but relaxed knowing that Tony was right.

 Tony sighed, hating that he was feeling bad for Bucky. “Come on. You can watch everything they do from in here.”

 Bucky watched from behind the glass as test were run, scans were made and blood was drawn. He watched for two hours as the doctors, and nurses buzzed around her. They were the bees and May was the flower. She lay perfectly still, never responding to their attempts to wake her.

 Bucky stood at the window of the observation room, in complete silence. He didn’t answer when Steve came in and asked how she was doing - he could look and see for himself. He didn’t blink when Wanda came through to let him know that Travis was locked away in a vault downstairs.

The only time he did respond was when Sam came in and put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. He shifted his weight and exhaled heavily, causing Sam to draw back and just stand beside Bucky for a while. But eventually Sam left and Bucky was alone again.

 It was at the end of hour three, when Dr. Banner came in, that Bucky finally got restless. He left the observation room and headed next door into May’s examination room.

 Dr. Banner looked up at the sound of a commotion. A nurse was trying to keep Bucky back and Bucky was trying not to snap her neck. “It’s alright, let him through.” Banner instructed. “Can I help you, James?”

 “Nothing is working.” Bucky started. “They’ve been poking at her for hours and nothing is working. Whats wrong with her?”

 Bruce adjusted his glasses and took a deep breath. “She suffered a trauma. Her body is healthy - actually, her DNA resembles yours, now. She’s not a super soldier but she’s got the makings of one. But her mind... There’s no real way to tell but, if I had to guess, she shut down to protect herself. Bucky, no one knows better than you what she went through in that chair. We’re going to have to be patient until she’s ready to wake up.”

 “But-”

 Bruce held up a hand to quiet Bucky. “I don’t know how long it will take. All we can do now is make her comfortable. Would you like to help escort her to the recovery wing?”

 “Recovery?” Bucky questioned. “You said she’s in good health. Can’t we just take her to her room?”

 “I suppose that’s do-able.” Bruce said calmly and turned to give a nurse the new location to take May.

 Bucky stepped up to the table she had been placed on and took her hand in his metal one. “I’m so sorry, kid.” He had meant to say more but the nurse rolled up another gurney to transport her and he moved out of the way.

 He followed the nurses all the way to the room that Tony had set up for her. Apparently, while they had gone to rescue May, he took the liberty of gathering all of her possessions and putting them away in here. Her room had a beautiful view of the city out a large window beside her bed but for the sake of rest, Bucky drew the curtains so the sun wouldn’t shine in to harsh.

 He waited against a wall until the nurses got her settled in the bed, gathered their equipment and left. Then, he pulled up a chair and sat beside her bed. He held her hand again and felt the sting of tears that he had suppressed for the last forty eight hours. In his solitude, he cried.

 He cried from the guilt that was pressing on his chest. He cried from the pain he knew she endured in that god forsaken chair, and he cried in fear that when she woke, she wouldn’t even remember his name. He cried and through his tears and sobs he confessed his wrongs to her.

 He apologized for how long it took him to get to her. He apologized for not seeing the threat that Travis was. He apologized for not being what she needed, and for not being there when she needed him, for what she went through with Hydra, and for the loss of her parents. He begged her to forgive him for being so cold to her when they met. He apologized for wanting her to leave, even though he never said it to her face.

 He started apologizing for things that happened in her past, from before he even knew she existed. For being alone after her parents died, for growing up with a father who hid things about his past. And then, he begged her. He begged her to wake up. He begged her to remember him, because if she didn’t he wasn’t sure what he would do.

 He confessed that he started taking care of her out of duty to Monty. He confessed to her how much she reminded him of Rebecca. He confessed to her that she had become so important to him, more important that he ever intended.

 He cupped her face, which looked so small in his mechanical palm, and rubbed his thumb on her cheek. “May, I need you, kid. You...” He sniffed and tried to steady his voice which was going hoarse from crying so much. “I know I have Steve, he’s my best friend and he’ll always be around but you, you’re family. Please, I need you to wake up.” Another wave of guilt crashed over him and he dropped his head onto May’s arm and cried.

 He didn’t notice her fingers twitch.

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