#taesan au | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

woobly · 15 days ago

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THERE SHE GOES . . . 한태산 !

PAIRING. taesan x crocheter! gn reader GENRE. fluff, uni au, strangers to ??? WARNINGS. both are in uni but no scenes about school itself lol WC. 1.4k

𓂋˚˖ A/N. lichrally dunno what this is, i just word vomited 😭 i was actually gonna make another acc bc i got kinda shy to post here again but im too lazy to do that so here we are, ig im a onedoor now too 😆 𓂋˚˖ NOW PLAYING. there she goes by the la’s

THE FIRST TIME TAESAN SEES YOU, you were casually walking into the train car along with the rest of the morning rush. One of your hands was clutched onto your bag while the other was inside the pocket of your black puffer jacket.

He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular. It was too early in the morning, and the music playing in his ears drowned all his thoughts out while on the way to his first class.

But upon seeing you, he was immediately awakened from his morning daze and stood up from his seat. Watching you switch places with him to stand beside your seated figure, he thinks he saw you say thank you, but he’s not sure.

Not thinking much of his gesture of giving up his seat, he looked out toward the city passing by outside. That was until the train entered another tunnel, and he was forced to look at something else; you, in his peripheral vision, had suddenly brought out a crochet needle and some yarn.

He was pleasantly surprised. People were usually on their phones while on the train, while here you were, your hands half buried in your jacket as they worked on some yarn as if you were in your own little world.

He wasn’t actually sure if you were crocheting or knitting or what. He had only overheard from the other students in his classes about how they crocheted in their free time, but he had never actually seen anyone do it.

He tilted his head once in a while to watch you, trying his best not to act like a creep. Not that you would notice anyway. He did this until he had to step off at his stop first.

The second time Taesan sees you, it was a Saturday. He unfortunately had a class in the morning, and he was on the way home after having lunch with his friends and spending some time in the library.

You were already seated on the train, hands busy once again. It wasn’t rush hour, so Taesan took a seat across from you.

You seemed to be counting something, perhaps the stitches, based on the way your mouth was moving. You furrowed your eyebrows, looking closer at your project, before pulling at the string of yarn exasperatedly. He was curious about what just happened, smiling at your frustration.

He caught himself glancing at you from time to time again. And this time, you almost caught him looking at you.

He saw you again a few times after that, to the point that he’s learned where to sit or stand so that he can see your reflection in the window to avoid being caught looking at you directly. He’s even learned what days of the week you usually share train rides.

At first, it was a little freaky how the two of you managed to be on the same train at the same time a few times a week, let alone the same car. But after a while, he started looking for you, wondering where you had gone on days when he’d usually seen you.

Months had gone by like that, Taesan watching you work on what seemed like different projects from a distance.

However, this time it was a little different. There were no other available seats except the one right beside you. There was still some space on the metal bars to hold on to, but something told him to take that seat (perhaps it’s the voices in his head aka Leehan urging him to do something about his little train crush; Taesan always denies it by saying it’s not a crush).

This time, it was difficult to see your face, so he could only look at your hands. He tried so hard to be subtle, but he supposes he wasn’t subtle enough because you suddenly put your needle and yarn down on your lap and took something out from your bag.

“Hey, I uh… made something for you,”

You were now looking at his wide eyes, a rush of different emotions suddenly coursing through him. Ashamed because you noticed him watching; touched because you made something for a stranger like him; and shy because you were talking to a guy like him.

He finally looked at your open hand that delicately held a stuffed black cat keychain.

“Is this a cat?”

“Yeah, that’s you,” you said as you smiled tightly. You acknowledge that he was a good-looking guy, but there was still something about him that intimidated you a little. “Um, I’m sorry if that offends you. I made it based on the vibe you gave off, but I don’t mean to stereotype based on the clothes you wear. Not that I made you a black cat because you always wear black, but the dark hair covering your eyes a little also kinda—,” you rambled, stopping when you see the look on his face and realizing you might have said too much.

Taesan chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m not offended. May I ask why…?”

“Um… no reason,” you shrugged with another tight smile, trying to mask the blatant lie you just told him.

“Well, I’m honored. This is really cute,” Taesan smiled, looking at you then at anything but you.

You finally smiled with a more relaxed expression, lips pursing to keep yourself from smiling too widely.

“I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it to you after already making it, plus you sat here today,”

The truth is, you also noticed him that first time. You noticed his repeated presence the same way he did. When he was looking outside, you looked around the train car only for your gaze to land on him. You actually lied when you said you made a keychain for him. It’s actually a gift meant for one of your friends, but you decided at the last minute to use it to shoot your shot—you could always make another one. If he realized that you were also watching him from what you just said, then he was nice enough to not bring it up.

“This is crochet, right?” Taesan asked as he looked around his bag for a place to hang the keychain.

“Yup! I like to do arts and crafts as a pastime, and crocheting is the most… mindless one for me—for lack of a better word,” you both chuckled. “But it also keeps me from falling asleep when I commute alone. That’s why I mostly do it on the train,”

Taesan nods, his mind still processing what was happening.

“You go to Hybe U, right? Saw your ID,”

You looked down at your lanyard and held it. “Oh yeah. You?”

“I go to KOZ,” Your eyes light up in recognition as it’s the college not far from yours.

“We should—“ “If it’s—“ you both say at the same time.

Chuckling, Taesan gestures for you to go first.

“We should hang out some time… is what I was gonna say,” you smiled, looking at the boy beside you.

“Yeah, I’d like that. And I was gonna say that if it’s any help, I could wake you up at your stop,”

You frowned in confusion. “But you get off first,”

“It’s okay. I have time before class,” Taesan smiled shyly, unsure what to do with himself after making such an offer.

You looked away, realizing the boy wasn’t as intimidating as you thought.

“Well, I’ll hold you to that.”

BONUS:

True enough, by midterms season, you spent most of your train rides asleep on Taesan’s shoulder. You started falling asleep in the middle of crocheting more often to the point that you stopped carrying your projects altogether and opted to indulge in Taesan’s insistence.

The both of you were on the way home when he was reminiscing about his conversation with his friends earlier that day.

“Look at you. Who would’ve thought you out of all people would carry so many keychains on their bag?” Leehan commented after the boy in question mentioned how that first black cat keychain was apparently not even meant for him. You told him after a while that you gave it to him in the spur of the moment as an excuse to talk to him.

“Yeah, it’s kinda funny seeing you in your band shirts then you turn around and suddenly there’s a bunch of colorful animals and characters. Personally, I really like the Sanrio ones,” Sungho said teasingly. “Plus the way I just know it’s you when you enter a room because your bag is so noisy,”

“It’s not funny, Y/N made them! The plastic ones they also got for me,” Taesan blurted in faux offense, smiling and internally agreeing with the older boy.

“Yeah no, it’s cute actually,” Sungho said before bursting into laughter.

“Then ask Y/N for one. Actually no, don’t do that,” his friends chuckled at him.

“Then make one for me,”

“You know, I’ve already asked them to teach me. But I sucked so bad, and Y/N fell asleep while waiting for me.” Taesan chuckled while recalling the first time you hung out at the library.

“Man, he’s got it pretty bad.”

321 notes · View notes

dat-town · 3 days ago

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p.s. but i like you

Characters: Taesan & female reader

Setting & genre: to all the boys i’ve loved before au; she fell first, he fell harder; fluff, comedy

Summary: When your love letters are sent out to your ex-crushes and you spend your last break before university trying to get them back, the last thing you expect is your neighbour tagging along.

Alternatively; you write love letters when you’re ready to move on from an all-consuming crush. There are four in total: Kim Donghyun from science camp in middle school, Park Sunghee’s older brother who tutored you once, Lee Chanyoung from the holiday resort last summer and Han Dongmin, the boy next door.

Warnings: MC is a bit chaotic, a bit of jealousy

Words: 10.3k

Author’s note: shoutout to the anonie who told me that the she fell first, he fell harder trope would fit Taesan because that’s so true. i hope i did it justice!

Letting your mother help you declutter your room before moving to Seoul for university was a big mistake. You realize it the moment you open your desk’s bottom drawer only to find it perfectly organized, colorful pens and highlighters in one corner, cute stationery in the other with stacks of important documents in the back, very unlike the usual mess you had in this exact drawer, the one you use to keep little trinkets like movie tickets and your old diary with lock and key you have been too embarrassed to throw out in fears of somebody finding it. You quickly scan the contents of the drawer, check all the others too, half-relieved when you find the diary with its lock secured but it doesn’t dissipate your nerves entirely.

“Mom...” You walk up to her where she’s currently sorting your clothes by color after you’ve already separated them by season. “Have you seen the envelopes in my drawer?”

“The letters? Ah, yes. I had to pick up a package from the post office today anyways, so I mailed them for you,” your mother says matter-of-factly, not noticing the way you’re biting your lower lip nervously.

“What?” You shriek, louder than you intended, in pure panic.

“Well, except for Dongmin’s, of course. I gave his to his mother,” she continues as if it was a light-hearted chit-chat, unaware of the storm clouds collecting over your head because she’s too focused on deciding whether to put your beige or cream colored sweater on top. “What’s with them by the way? Is it one of those letter chains we used to do when you were younger?”

“No. No, no, no,” you throw yourself onto your bed and scream into your pillow when you realize she’s totally serious. She found those simple white, addressed envelopes on the bottom of your drawer and took them thinking you just never got around to send them.

However, those letters were not meant to be sent. Ever.

The thing is: you write a love letter whenever you’re ready to move on from an all-consuming crush. So they are rather goodbye letters, your closure after spending days, weeks imagining your life with just another boy before realizing that it wouldn’t work out anyways. Not that you ever do anything about your crushes and you prefer it this way. In your head you can make up all these little scenarios about holding hands, amusement park dates, watching the stars together because at the end of the day you’re a hopeless romantic. You can giggle about seeing your crush smile from far away without the disappointment getting to know them could possibly bring. You have seen enough of your friends get rejected or dumped, so nah, you don’t plan to ‘put yourself out there’ anytime soon. Especially now that high school ended and you got your acceptance letter from your dream university in Seoul and you’re so ready to leave Gwangju behind.

But now the letters are out and it ruins all your plans of a peaceful winter break.

You’re knocking on the Han family’s door as if the building was burning down, tapping your house slippers against the corridor’s floor because you couldn’t be bothered to waste more time by putting on proper shoes and outerwear just to walk one door down.

You’re still going with the momentum and almost hit Dongmin’s lovely mother in the chest when she opens the door for you but you manage to scramble backwards and try to regain your composure by forcing a polite smile on your face.

“Good evening, Mrs. Han. Is Dongmin home?” You ask tentatively, hoping, praying that she would say no, so you could ask for your letter back from her by making up some excuse. Your smile almost falls though when the woman nods and looks behind her shoulder.

“Dongmin! Y/N’s here for you,” she shouts down the hall before turning towards you with a kind smile and ushering you inside like she has always done ever since your family moved in next door when you were fifteen. “What are you waiting for? Come in.”

You mutter out a quiet thank you and awkwardly wave when you see Dongmin’s younger siblings in front of the tv in the living room but no sign of the boy.

“He must have his headphones on like usual. Just knock loudly on his door,” his mother clicks her tongue in disapproval and puts a bowl of sliced fruits in your hands before gently pushing you towards the bedrooms inside the apartment.

You gulp and follow her instructions but even if you haven’t been there before, you would know which door is Dongmin’s because it’s full with stickers of his favourite bands and there’s the unmistakable sound of guitar playing resonating through the door when you get close enough, the same sound you hear from your own room because you (unfortunately?) share a wall with the guy. You knock on the wood three times, loud enough for the music to stop and one and half inhales later it swings open, revealing the tall boy with tousled dark hair, wearing an oversized The Beatles tee and sweatpants.

It’s been a while since you have seen him from up close, so for a moment you’re rendered speechless and a wave of self-consciousness washes over you due to the state of your homey clothes and messy bun but then you remember that he has already seen you taking out the trash in you pajamas and with greasy hair as well as with the braces you had back in freshman year. Not to mention, you have a bigger, more embarrassing problem at hand than how you look.

“What?” Dongmin eventually speaks up, raising an eyebrow in question as he leans his side against the doorframe and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

Okay, if he doesn’t know what you’re here for nor he’s calling you out on your childish letter, he must not have read it yet, right?

“Uhm, did you perhaps get a letter today? From me?” You find your voice finally, albeit it’s more high-pitched than normally as you awkwardly choose your words to sound as vague as possible. Dongmin stares at you nonchalantly before reaching for somewhere behind his back and holds an envelope ‒ your letter! ‒ out for you.

“You mean this?”

“Yes, exactly! Can I have it back?” You get excited and relieved, reaching for the paper only for Dongmin to raise it higher, out of your reach. You pout as you pull your hand back and dare to look the boy in the eyes as you pose the question you’re afraid to hear the answer for. “Or… did you read it already?”

Dongmin looks at you impassively, eyes searching as if he’s trying to figure you and your intentions out. Then he shrugs.

“What? The part about my beautiful eyes or that I drive you crazy?” He asks with one corner of his mouth lifting cockily as he quotes your words and you are going to have to dig a grave for yourself. Especially because both statements are still very much true apparently.

“Shh!” You hiss and you don’t even know what comes over you when you push at his chest with enough force (and the element of surprise) to push him back inside his room and you slip in too, quickly closing the door behind you before his family could hear what you’re talking about.

A moment later you realize what exactly you have done and your eyes widen at your own brazen behaviour. Based on the confused, dumbfounded look on Dongmin’s face you managed to surprise him too.

“Uhm, your mom made this for you,” you clear your throat as you push the bowl of fruits into his hands and look anywhere but his face. Which in turn results in looking around in his room that’s very like him. Band posters on the wall, concert tickets half-filling a glass jar, a keyboard by the desk, CSAT preparation books on the shelf, clothes thrown on the bed…

“Look Y/N,” he starts, his voice deeper than you remembered. But again, when was the last time you had a proper conversation other than hellos when running into each other in the corridor? “About your letter. I'm flattered but…”

“Don’t be!” You cut him off before he could reject you. Even if it’s years late and you aren’t crushing on him anymore, it would hurt your feelings, so you would rather not hear it. “You’re not the only one. I’ve written four letters.”

“Damn, Y/N. Is this some kind of prank?” Dongmin furrows his brows. He looks like he can’t decide whether he should be amused or annoyed by the sudden turn of events. You’re not sure which would be worse.

“I wish it was. My mom mailed my deliberately unsent love letters,” you sigh, face buried in your hands while Han Dongmin has the audacity to let out a short laugh.

“So who are the others then?” He asks casually while sitting down at his desk chair, putting the fruit bowl next to his laptop. Then he turns to you and motions for you to sit down or whatever that vague hand movement is supposed to be but you’re too busy fiddling with your fingers while hovering by his door, half-ready to flee.

“Uhm, Kim Donghyun from a science camp back in middle school, Lee Chanyoung from a holiday resort we went to in Jeju last summer and Park Sunghee’s brother,” you list, counting each name on your fingers. You aren’t even sure why you’re telling him this. Maybe you just want to get this off your chest and it’s not like he would post about it on his social media for laughs. He rarely posts anything unrelated to his band anyways. Plus he doesn’t even know these guys…

“Park Sunghoon? Isn’t he too old for you?” Dongmin raises a brow and you want to smack yourself. Of course, he knows him, they went to the same all boys school. It’s the best high school in the neighbourhood after all.

“Yah! He’s just two years older than us,” you correct him, defensive.

“Whatever,” Dongmin shrugs. Then he eyes the envelope slipped under the fruit bowl and mortification washes through you again. You don’t even remember half the things you wrote but you certainly remember pointing out that you were sure his band’s popularity would get to his head and that’s why it was better for you to not like him anymore. You cringe at yourself because a year and half and a few dozen screaming girl fans later, Han Dongmin seems still as laid back as ever behind his Taesan persona. “So you came to take it back before I could read it?”

“Well, yeah,” you admit, not seeing a reason to lie. It’s not like this could get any more embarrassing. “Though honestly I wasn’t really thinking. I only noticed the letters missing literally ten minutes ago.”

Dongmin hums like he finds it interesting which is funny because most of the time he looks like he doesn’t give a damn about anything. Except when it comes to music. Shit, what if he’s thinking of turning this situation into a song? He should credit you for inspiration.

“And what are you planning now? Will you break down the other three guys’ doors too?” He asks and it’s teasing, taunting. You can tell he’s pretty much laughing at you behind his raised eyebrow and curious eyes.

To be real, you weren’t thinking that far ahead yet.

“How fast do you think the Korean postal service is?” You purse your lips.

“Wait. You don’t actually plan to steal the letters back from their mailbox, right?” Dongmin scoffs but you might be considering it, so your silence is enough of an answer. “Oh you do.”

“I don’t want them to read it,” you throw your hands in the air. Just thinking about it gives you a headache and anxiety. “It’s bad enough that you read yours and now everytime we will meet, I will overthink it because you know I used to have a crush on you but I’m still friends with Sunghee and it will be even more awkward if she gets to know I liked her brother. Gosh, I should have dated my letters. Now Donghyun will think I wrote it now and not when we were fourteen.”

The more you think about it, the worse the situation is. You shudder just thinking about how cringe your letters could be looking back. Especially the one you wrote at the prime time of middle school.

“You know, maybe instead of dating them, you should have not written down the addresses,” the boy across from you points out, oh so very helpful.

“Wow, good advice, thanks. I will keep that in mind next time,” you deadpan and decide that it’s been enough of an embarrassment for a lifetime in front of the neighbourhood’s resident cool boy. You need to come up with a plan on how to get the letter back from the Park family before they could open it or forward it to Sunghoon abroad. “Anyways, I’ll be going then. Can I, please, have my letter back?”

You hold out your hand, trying your best puppy eyes at the guy but Dongmin doesn’t budge.

“Nah. It’s my letter now.”

You scowl but after a few long moments of staring contest that has you hot in the cheeks, you let out a deep sigh. He has already read it, it doesn’t really matter anymore.

“Okay, bye then,” you roll your eyes and let yourself out of his room, bowing awkwardly to his mother when you pass by her and face plant yourself into your bed once you’re alone again. Stupid Han Dongmin and his amused crooked smile and pretty brown eyes. Why did he have to read it?

You plan to get back Sunghoon’s letter via Sunghee and it goes smoother than expected.

You text the girl asking about the letter and tell her not to open it or send it to her brother because it’s just a prank someone pulled on you. If Taesan gave you the idea, she doesn’t have to know nor about the white lie. It’s in the afternoon when Sunghee texts you that they just got the mail and you decide to meet up both to catch up and get the letter back. Like the sweetheart she is, Sunghee offers to throw it out but you don’t want to leave anything to chance, so you meet in a cute café, drink way too sweet winter lattes and talk about post-graduation plans.

You’re walking back to the apartment complex from the bus stop with your letter safely tucked inside your bag when you spot the unmistakably tall figure of your neighbour in the nearby park, playing football with his little brother. At least the younger boy wears a puffy coat, gloves and beanie all tucked in but Dongmin, who has always acted a bit like the street was his runway, wears jeans, a wool coat half open and only a long, fluffy scarf pulled up to half-cover his already reddened, cold-bitten ears, February cold be damned. He has his hands in his pocket as he lazily kicks the ball back to his brother but it passes him by. That’s when his eyes meet yours and you react a tad bit too late to convince him that you weren’t staring. Luckily, he doesn’t call you out.

“Mission success?” He yells over to you though and it’s so silly. Why does he even care?

“Yeah,” you nod anyway and you’re about to ask how come he’s not cold when his little brother tugs on his coat sleeve.

“Hyung, can we go back inside now? I'm freezing. Why did you even wante‒”

“Sure, back we go,” Dongmin cuts him off hurriedly and you pretend not to pay attention to their brotherly bickering. You’re surprised to hear that this time it was the older who insisted on playing outside because usually it’s the other way around based on what you have heard before but it doesn’t concern you, so you just follow the two boys, watching maybe a bit too fondly as Dongmin ruffles his brother’s hair when he takes off his beanie inside the building. On the second floor, the older boy steps to their door to key in the code and ushers (meaning: lightly push) his brother inside. Before you could do the same down the corridor, he turns to you after the closing beep of their door.

“So what’s next?”

Once again you’re taken aback that he seems so invested in the mess you've gotten yourself into but it’s not like you have anybody to tell about these things. Normally you would gossip about boy things with Sunghee but since she can’t know about her brother being concerned, you would rather keep it to yourself. Or well, since Dongmin’s asking…

“Well, Sunghee got the letter today on the other side of the town, so I’m assuming that Donghyun’s will arrive in Busan tomorrow. So…” You explain, running on the adrenalin of successfully getting back one of the letters.

“Wait, Busan?” Dongmin interrupts, furrowing his eyebrows, confused. Oh, right. You only told him about the science camp.

“Yeah, he lives there or at least used to, four years ago. So I’m thinking of catching an early bus tomorrow,” you tell him about the plan you made up during your way home from Sunghee. Taking an express bus is the fastest and cheapest way to get to Busan and make it a quick day trip. Even if the letter’s not there, you will just ask the person who lives in that house to mail it back to you when they get it. If you still have time to kill, maybe you can even go down to the beach to make it seem like you’re a sane person and you wouldn’t travel 3 hours back and forth just to get a letter back.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to look him up online?” Dongmin, the voice of reason as always, asks and you look at him unimpressed. Does he really think it didn’t cross your mind at all?

“I tried! He either has no social media presence or at least not with his real name,” you pout because seriously just how many Kim Donghyuns could there be for you to not find the one you’re looking for?

Your neighbour apparently didn’t run out of his questions though and you can see genuine, bewildered curiosity on his face when he asks:

“How do you even know his address still after four years?”

That’s a fair question (and you hate that all he asks are logical questions actually). Considering that you were fourteen when you wrote it, you should have long forgotten the exact address of your ex-crush but lucky for you, you have it written down in your dusty notebook under lock and key.

“Uhm, I might have it in my old diary. We were supposed to become pen pals after the camp but well, life happens,” you mutter, feeling a bit self-conscious admitting that yes, you are one of those girls who have written diaries. But Dongmin doesn’t judge, not for that.

“You mean, you never wrote to him,” he raises an eyebrow challengingly and it triggers a defensive reaction out of you.

“He never wrote to me either!”

“Well, good luck then, Miss Letter Thief,” he waves and slips inside their apartment before you could come up with a good retort and the way he always seems to have the last word makes you want to tackle him down in the old-fashioned kindergartener way just to shut him up. Jeez, good thing you got over him so long ago because he’s dancing on your nerves.

Even though your mother doesn’t try to hide the fact that she thinks you’re acting a bit too dramatic over ‘some letters’, she at least looks sheepish and doesn’t stop you when you tell her that you will go to Busan in the morning and come back in the evening. She even packs you snacks for the long bus ride and you throw a book into your bag as if you wouldn’t fall asleep ten minutes into the journey.

The Sun has been barely out when you leave the apartment, rubbing your palms together while you stand in the bus stop and wait for the local bus to take you to the terminal. A movement catches your eyes on the window next to yours but you think you just imagined it until the building’s door opens and Dongmin rushes out in his long coat that makes him even taller than he already is. You turn to him suspiciously when he stops a good two meters from you at the bus stop because what the hell he’s doing there at seven in the morning during winter break. You stop yourself from questioning him though because the bus pulls up in front of you soon enough and he sits behind you on the vehicle, so you don’t see where he gets off.

With upbeat music playing from your earbuds, you almost forget about him by the time you get to the bus terminal. Luckily the queue at the counter is not too long, so you manage to buy a ticket to Busan before the next one leaves. You barely get comfortable in your window seat when the aisle one next to you is taken even though there are plenty of available seats in the unreserved area due to the morning hour.

You look at the sudden occupant and your eyes widen in realization.

“What are you doing?” You shriek a little louder than what’s publicly acceptable, so you immediately apologize to the other, sleepy-looking travellers.

“What? Can’t a guy go to Busan to check out this one music store?” Dongmin shrugs nonchalantly and it’s your turn to raise an eyebrow at his nonsense answer. He really doesn’t seem like the spontaneous type but admittedly, you don’t know him that well. You didn’t have to know him to catch feelings after all.

If you wanted to be honest, a few encounters around the apartment building was enough to get interested in him, even more so when you got to know that he had a band and your crush became embarrassing when you dragged your friends to the local festival where the band performed. Even though their music style isn’t really your go-to genre, he just looked so cool on stage, really in his element, very unlike the usual distant demeanor he greeted you with around the house. Then Minah started dating their drummer and you saw the band on stage a few more times, getting to love their music more and more, hanging out sometimes as parts of a bigger friend group until that one party where you saw your school’s most popular girl throw herself at Dongmin. The taste of unreasonable jealousy was all it took to snap out of it and forget about the boy’s pretty eyes, beautiful voice and rare smiles you treasured. Minah and Wonjin broke up around the same time, so at least you had an excuse not to see him more than necessary around the house.

So yeah, you probably talked more with him in the last two days than ever before and he has certainly never acted like this around you. It was getting suspicious.

“Han Dongmin… are you coming with me to make sure I don’t go alone?” You question because you really don’t know what to make of it and you can’t help but let your voice take on a playful tone.

“Pff…” The boy snorts and then looks at you with his practiced deadpan face. “I’m going, so I can laugh at how you embarrass yourself in front of this Donghyun guy.”

You roll your eyes at him. He thinks he’s so funny, huh?

“For real, why are you tagging along?” You try to come off as at least a bit authoritative with your crossed arms and serious face but it probably doesn’t work. Dongmin answers anyway.

“Because I don’t have more exciting plans for the break and it’s fun enough,” he shrugs as he slides down in his seat a bit to get more comfortable with his height. He fixes the hoodie over his head and turns his head against the backrest, looking like he’s about to go to sleep after telling you that while there you are with a hand over your heart.

“Are my love letters funny to you?” You gasp, dramatic on purpose but a part of you really wants to shove him outside of his seat (of course, you won’t do it, not now that you’re on the highway already).

“I mean it was pretty funny that you misspelled the word gorgeous twice in mine.”

He says it so matter-of-factly but you desperately wish that he’s just teasing or else it’s mortifying that you couldn’t spell that correctly when you were almost seventeen.

“I was nervous! And it’s a difficult word to spell!” You splutter.

Seriously, what’s it about him that makes you so defensive all the time? Especially when he’s nothing but casual about your old love letter? Or is it exactly because of that?

“Do I make you nervous?” Dongmin raises an eyebrow at you with an almost smile on his lips and for a moment you’re speechless because you can’t tell whether it’s supposed to be teasing or flirty.

“I was once young and naive,” you tell him, refusing to answer because if you wanted to be honest (you don’t), then yes, he makes you very nervous, especially when he holds eye contact so long that you have to look away and stare out of the window instead.

“If you say so,” he hums and you refuse to give him the satisfaction of answering. You turn the music back on in your app and try to nap a little.

Dongmin must have the same idea because when you look his way the next time he’s peacefully sleeping. You know you shouldn’t but you can’t help but take in every small mole on his face and the curl of his eyelashes. Gosh, how is it possible that he’s even more handsome now than before?

When he stirs, you quickly look away and fish out the sliced fruits and hotteoks your mom prepared, offering to share them but Dongmin dismisses it with a shake of his head.

“What’s the order of the letters?” He asks instead when your cheeks are puffed with the sweet food but you decide to entertain him anyway.

“Donghyun’s the first, obviously. It was a two week long camp and he was the cutest boy I had ever seen. I knew I would never see him again, so I wrote that letter when I got back home. Then I befriended Sunghee in high school and met Sunghoon when I was over at hers. I had one actual conversation with him and imagined our entire lives together until he graduated and went abroad. Then I wrote yours in second year and I met Chanyoung last summer over the vacation my family went to in Jeju,” you list them off and it seems to put the boy into thinking mode because he’s quiet for a short while, letting you eat in peace.

“You don’t get crushes when there’s an actual chance of dating them? You barely interacted with any of these guys,” he points out and then gestures between him and you. “We never really talked either before this and then you stopped liking me because I ‘got too popular’,” he adds drawing ditto marks in the air probably quoting from your letter which makes you wince quietly.

You might have written to him that you got over your crush on him when their band started getting more attention, claiming that arrogant rock stars aren't your type. You certainly didn’t go into details about how their song about liking a popular girl made you feel stupidly jealous, especially after seeing him with Yein.

“It’s safer like this,” you shrug, casting your eyes down. “I like the idea of romance, like in books and movies, but not the reality of it.”

Real romance is scary. Full of rejection, heartbreak and embarrassment.

It might be the songwriter in him but Dongmin sounds intrigued to say the least.

“So you don’t actually have real crushes. You like the version of the guys you make up in your head,” he says like you’re a puzzle to solve and he’s slowly figuring you out. You don’t know how to feel about that.

“The way you say it sounds bad but… aren’t all crushes like that? You don’t have to know the person to like them,” you say and it’s funny because you never really thought about your feelings this way. But it’s true that even if you have had your fair share of crushes, none of them were very deep. You would never admit it to him but actually your ‘Dongmin phase’ was the longest but you can’t be sure whether it’s because he has been a permanent fixture in your life unlike the other boys or something else.

“I don’t know. To me, that’s just attraction. You can like them for who they are only when you get to know them,” he says and he sounds like he did think about it before.

“You don’t believe in love at first sight, huh?”

“Yeah, no,” Dongmin shakes his head and pops a piece of grape into his mouth from your snack box. You scoff but hold it closer to him and the rest of the ride is spent in relative silence interrupted by occasional short conversations.

This is how you get to know that the boy has been in Busan before with his family, so you pretty much let him lead when you get to the bus terminal in the coastal city because you’re not the best with direction. Dongmin has to stop you by holding on to your scarf when you almost get on the subway in the wrong direction and teases you about how you will get around in Seoul like that. You shrug, not worrying about it much since you will have enough time to learn getting around in a big city like the capital.

For now, you’re navigating through Busan on this impromptu day trip and you’re kind of glad you are not doing this alone. Not just because you would have most likely gotten lost a few times but because Donghyun’s address is almost an hour more away from the bus terminal and time flies faster while you talk with Dongmin. It’s nothing special, just your likes and dislikes, high school drama, sibling anecdotes and such but you find yourself smiling and laughing more often than not. When your shoulders brush at an abrupt stop of the subway car, you pull away shyly and something stirs in your chest, something familiar and almost forgotten.

By the time you get to the address written in your cute pink diary, you almost forget about the main reason why you’re here. You can’t decide whether fate is on your side or not when you manage to bump into a vaguely familiar figure on the ground floor of the building with a very much familiar letter in his hand among others.

“Donghyun!” You shriek in realization, resisting the urge to yank the letter out of his hand. He definitely grew up, almost as tall as Dongmin behind you, hair longer, covering his ears but his eyes are the same.

“Uhm… sorry, do we know each other?” He furrows his eyebrows, visibly confused. Dongmin tries to cover his snort-like laugh with a cough behind you which really doesn’t help with your embarrassment.

“Oh, I’m Y/N. From science camp four years ago,” you introduce yourself a tad bit awkwardly but luckily that’s all it takes for the boy to recognize you because his face brightens.

“Oh, hey! What are you doing here? Came to check out the Sealife Aquarium?” He asks, almost excited, and you find it cute that he didn’t lose his childhood fascination with such things.

“Uhm, actually I came for that,” you point at the mail in his hands which leaves the boy confused once again.

“Our electricity bill?”

“No, dude, the prank letter you just got with her name on it,” Dongmin speaks up from behind you and you can tell just from his voice alone that he’s rolling his eyes. But it gets Donghyun to check out the envelopes in his hand and nonchalantly gives you the one addressed to him from you, like he doesn’t even care what’s in it. But when you actually take it, he leans in closer.

“You’ve got a scary boyfriend,” he whispers just as casually, so only you could hear it and you can only splutter in shock while he pulls back and jogs up the stairs with the other letters in hand.

“Thanks,” you clear your throat as you turn to Dongmin who looks as nonchalant as ever.

“For what?”

“For not telling him that it’s a love letter,” you explain, which makes the boy shrug. He opens the door for you and points towards the metro station.

“I’m choosing lunch then,” he says and you laugh at his logic, but follow him anyway. He still asks if you’re okay with Korean food and since you’re not picky, you let him choose whatever he craves.

You end up at a jjigae place, the warmth of boiling spicy soup filling you up and you blame the heat in your cheeks on it, definitely not in the casual way Dongmin serves you water or opens the hot rice bowl for you as if it’s nothing.

“So only Jeju’s left,” he comments between two spoonfuls of kimchi jjigae. Looking at you from across the table, he almost challenges you: “Tell me you’re not seriously considering flying there.”

“I mean there’s also a ferry…” You make a thinking face just for the sake of it but laugh at your own ridiculous idea and the face Dongmin makes. “Okay, okay, I know. He probably received the letter already anyway.”

You shrug casually and the boy seems surprised and maybe a bit impressed too. Getting back two letters out of four is actually a better ratio than you expected and you care surprisingly less about Chanyoung receiving his now. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Nothing much. Like Dongmin got his own and he doesn’t act weird about it. At least he certainly doesn’t avoid you or looks at you as if you were crazy like you would have thought so. He’s actually quite… kind about it. Without the letter you surely wouldn’t have spent this much time with him nor would he have joined you on this spontaneous day trip either. Speaking of which…

“Do you actually have a music store you want to check out here? We have time, so we might as well look for it,” you say, eyes on your food, blowing on the soup to make sure you don’t burn your tongue. When your suggestion is followed by silence, you look up self-consciously and fidget with a stand of hair hanging in your face. The look of surprise is clearly written on the boy’s face but when your eyes meet, he recovers quickly, shoving the rice sitting on his spoon into his mouth before taking out his phone and showing you the Instagram page of this cool store he found. You drop down your gaze from his face to his phone, feeling heat creeping into your cheeks once again as both of you lean forward over the table.

Luckily, in the winter cold outside it doesn’t stand out. Dongmin’s nose, cheeks and ears also redden by the time you make it to the music store by the sea. You look over the vinyl collection with him, asking about his favorites, inspirations and such, and while you don’t know half the bands he mentions listening to him talk has something special in it. It’s actually cute how enthusiastic he gets as he talks about music, like sure he’s all cool and nonchalant but still, you can tell he’s excited beneath that facade and…

Wait. Did you just call Han Dongmin, cool, mysterious, plays in a band neighbour, cute?

But how can you not when he walks out of that store with a new LP and a happy smile he tries to suppress when you look his way or when he’s like oh, yeah, sure, let’s go down the beach and there he is shivering from the wind like a rain-soaked black cat because he’s too cool to wear gloves even if he has ice americano in his hands unlike your hot hazelnut latte that’s warming your body and soul or the way he tries to secretly take pictures of you with your wind-blown hair in your face, laughing when you chase him down the waterfront or how he hesitates to accept the hot pack from you on your way back to the bus terminal but immediately switches places with you when a car passes by you a bit scarily close. It’s a totally new side of him that you’re discovering and you aren’t sure how to feel about it, about realizing that he isn’t the kind of guy you imagined him to be.

He’s so much more and so much better.

On your way back to Gwangju, he steals one of your earbuds and makes a comment on your music taste and you bicker about that half the journey but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your cheeks almost hurt from laughing so much when you notice new notifications on your phone and the device almost falls out of your hands.

chnyng_lee started following you. chnyng_lee hi yn! i got your letter…

“Oh my god!” You whisper-yell when you see the beginning of the message received, then quickly cover your mouth with your hand and pull the phone to your chest as if not seeing it would make it go away.

“What?” Dongmin asks with worry evident in his voice but you’re swimming too deep in embarrassment to detect it.

“Chanyoung just texted me,” you explain, still in shock and the moment it leaves your mouth, something shifts in the air. The previous light atmosphere turns heavier.

“Ah, Jeju boy?” Dongmin mutters, force nonchalance draped over his words as he turns to look ahead before silence settles on you both.

You take three long, deep breaths before unlocking your phone and opening the app to read through Chanyoung’s message properly. He’s so sweet, just how you remembered, telling you that of course he remembers you and he doesn’t think that your first meeting with you falling into the pool and him having to pull you out was awkward. He says it’s cute that you wrote to him even though you got over your crush and asks about your winter break. A sweetheart, really.

You find yourself chuckling fondly over his shy reactions and coo when he tells you about the group of elementary students he taught swimming that day. You want to show the video he sent to Dongmin too but he’s fast asleep next to you, so you spend the rest of the ride chatting with the cute boy who saved you back in Jeju.

Dongmin is quiet on the local bus too after you transfer in Gwangju but when you ask about it, he says he’s just tired, so you leave him be until you reach the apartment complex.

“Thanks for coming with me today. I… had fun,” you admit, more bashful than you would have liked to but the guy’s back to his distanced attitude, so he doesn’t even tease you about it.

“Sure, no problem,” he shrugs, seemingly eager to leave and you don't know why it bothers you so much but after everything that happened that day it’s his sudden change in behaviour that keeps you awake at night.

You wouldn’t say Dongmin avoids you. It’s more like things go back to normal. You have spent the last few years rarely running into him, so really, it shouldn’t annoy you. Still, whenever you leave the house, you find yourself looking for him and whenever you’re in your room you wait to hear his music through the thin wall between your rooms.

It’s a random weekday evening when you run into him as you take out the recycled trash and he’s just coming inside the building. It’s awkward, both the silence and the small talk idea but eventually it’s him who breaks the silence as he holds the door open for you:

“So how are things going with loverboy?”

“Who?” You blink at him in surprise before realizing that he must be referring to Chanyoung with that weird nickname. “Oh, good. We’re thinking of meeting up in Seoul. He’s going there to uni as well.”

It’s actually crazy that in about a week you will be in the busy center of Seoul, getting ready for orientation week and trying not to get overwhelmed by everything that university life throws your way. You’re about to ask Dongmin when he will move to his dorm but before you could do so, he just hums and passes you by.

You refuse to think too much into it nor you allow yourself to mourn the closeness you unexpectedly found with the boy for it to turn out to be merely a fleeting experience. You cannot miss him suddenly, that’s ridiculous.

You can’t be desperate enough to wish it’s him knocking on the door two days later, can you?

“Uhm, hi!” You smile a tad bit awkwardly while looking down at Dongmin’s little brother standing on your doormat wearing a Kakao Friends Ryan patterned tee and a determined look on his face.

“Noona, can you please talk with hyung?” He asks and when he mentions his brother you can’t help but glance towards their closed door, chest heavy with unsaid feelings.

“Uhm, why?” You question curiously but keep your tone light and friendly, so the boy would know you aren’t dismissing his request, you just find it strange and unexpected. You aren’t that close to Dongmin after all.

“He listens to a lot of sad and angry music,” the boy sighs as if it was the world’s biggest problem and you have to fight a chuckle at how cute it is that he’s worried about his brother because of the music he listens to.

“Isn’t that normal for him though?” You find yourself asking because you do hear music through the wall between the two apartments from time to time and describing some of it as ‘sad and angry’ wouldn’t be far from the truth.

“Yeah, but even more than usual,” the little boy pouts and sighs again, all the world’s weight on his young shoulders. “And he says you can’t come over because you’re busy with your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you frown, confused where Dongmin got that from. Does he think that you texting with Chanyoung automatically meant you got yourself a boyfriend? Did he miss the fact that the letter for him was also written after getting over your crush on him? Oh come on, he knows you had four crushes over four years and never got a boyfriend, so what makes him think two days changed it all? And even if you had a boyfriend, what’s it to him unless… Wait, is he jealous?

“Then can you come over to play? We need four players,” Dongmin’s brother voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you let yourself be roped into a game of charades in their living room.

Needless to say your ex-crush is taken aback to see you there but he apparently doesn’t have the heart to say no to his siblings when it comes to playing a game. You pair up with his little sister who is seriously the cutest with her pigtails and excitement but her drawings are more postmodern than anything exhibited in galleries and you can’t for the life of you figure those out. Dongmin and his brother are a good team though but the eldest always makes sure that their little sister doesn’t feel bad about being on the losing team which in turn obviously means that he teases you about it instead. You still have a lot of fun though, so when you leave once it’s bedtime for the younger ones, you are giddy and high on sugar from Dongmin’s mom’s heavenly chocolate pudding.

“Sorry that my brother dragged you over,” Dongmin apologises once their entrance door closes behind him and you two stand in the corridor. You didn’t expect him to come after you despite his mother’s obvious suggestions because come on, you literally live next door, you don’t need him to walk you home. But you don't mind it because unlike your last encounter, he doesn’t seem to have his guards up making him much more approachable. Even if there’s nothing more to it, it would be nice to be friends with him, not just neighbours who pass each other by.

“No problem, it was fun,” you reassure him with a smile and don’t let the silence settle on your duo for too long. “Maybe we should make it a tradition in Seoul too, ask Chanyoung and Yoonah to join us.”

There’s definitely intent behind your words as you gawk at the guy’s reaction like a nature photographer waiting for something to happen in the wild and you can clearly see a bit of frustration blended with confusion on his face before he schools his expression back into cool nonchalance.

“Who’s Yoonah?” He asks predictably which makes your smile wider because being able to guess his reaction is almost like you know him.

“Chanyoung’s girlfriend! Didn’t I tell you? She’s so cool,” you chirp and pull up your Instagram app to show him a lovely picture of the two. Dongmin acts like he doesn’t care but he doesn’t stop you and somehow the air between you feels much lighter.

You tell him what you know about the couple’s plans in Seoul and somehow, in the middle of it all, you end up sitting on the cold concrete stairs right between your two homes and talk about the upcoming changes in your lives. You share how weird it feels to leave behind Gwangju, the only place you have really known in your life for an unknown city where you don’t know anybody. Sure, some of your classmates also move to the capital but none of your close friends, so it feels a bit like a fresh start which is both scary and exciting. He’s in similar shoes except that he has always had dreams of moving to a bigger, busier city, so he can’t wait to start his life in Seoul.

“As expected of Han Taesan. Fearless as always,” you note with a smile playing on your lips without thinking and you don’t even notice your slip-up until Dongmin points it out.

“You called me Taesan,” he says, his dark eyes wide and surprised.

“Ah right. Was I not supposed to?” You ask sheepishly because you have heard most of his friends call him Taesan as well as girls in your school who knew his band.

“No, it’s just…” The boy trails off, ruffling his hair, avoiding your eyes. “In your letter you said it’s cringe that I took up a nickname when we started the band.”

You wince audibly when he once again reminds you of a part of that infamous letter you don’t even remember and now you’re mature enough to admit that part of it was written out of petty jealousy due to his skyrocketing popularity among girls.

“I wrote that a long time ago. I got used to Taesan since,” you explain, drumming your fingers on your knee pads just to do something with them while the boy nods and seemingly contemplates your words. He sounds almost shy as he admits:

“I like it when you call me Dongmin.”

And if your breath hitches at that, it goes unheard by everybody but you because your upper level neighbour chooses that moment to arrive and complain about the two of you ‘barricading’ the entire staircase. Amidst polite apologies you say goodbye to each other and in the safety of your room, only one wall away from Dongmin, you can admit to yourself that maybe you’re not that over your crush on him as you thought.

Realizing that you still (or well again) have a crush on the boy next door doesn’t make things easier for you. Especially because in less than a week both of you are set to go to Seoul for different universities and if living next door with your schools across each other you managed to not interact all too much over these years, you fear being in the same city won’t make it easier to run into the enigma that is Han Dongmin.

It’s different this time though because you’re friends. Kind of. You text sometimes about random things like a black cat in the snow video that reminds you of him while he sends you music recs ‘to educate you on good taste’. You are over at his place every other day to play board games with him and his siblings or play snow fights in the newly fallen snow.

Like right now, when the two of you sit on one of the swing sets at the playground watching the two kids trying to build a snowman that will melt by tomorrow. It’s cold, you feel it sweep into your bones as your gloved hands hold the metal chain of the swing, barely swaying in place. It’s comfortable, sharing silence with Dongmin by your side but you like it better when he speaks, when he talks to you, when he looks at you which he doesn’t do, not now, not since he chased you down with a handful of snow only to drop it when you slipped and he caught you. Which eventually left you just chilling on the swings before either of you breaks a bone a few days before the semester starts.

“What are you doing tomorrow evening?” Dongmin speaks up in his usual, casual tone, the tone that’s passive enough for you to think that he doesn’t really care about the answer but you know it better now, it’s all just a facade.

“Nothing much, maybe watch a movie. Why?” You lean forward, holding your weight by the chains to be able to look at him even if he doesn’t turn your way.

“Would you like to come to the band’s last gig?” He asks eventually and your eyes widen, heartbeat starting to act up for no reason at all.

“Yeah, of course!” You answer, not even hesitating but you have to ask: “Last though?”

“Well, for now. We will be pretty scattered around the country once the semester starts,” Dongmin explains to your tentative question. You don’t even know how much of a relief it is until you hear it because somehow it’s hard to imagine him without music, without his band.

“Ah, okay, that’s good.”

Now that makes Dongmin look at you, all intrigued as if asking what’s it to you and it makes you flustered because heck now you have to explain yourself.

“It’s just… you’re good. You shouldn’t give up on music, especially when you like it so much,” you say, looking away, sitting back on the swing, kicking the ground a bit to give yourself momentum.

“Not worried anymore that I would become an arrogant all too popular rockstar?” The boy asks in a clearly teasing tone.

You sigh exaggeratedly and nudge him in the side but he just laughs. Of course he would use your letter against you, but for some reason it doesn’t bother you that much anymore and no, you’re not worried about that either. You’re more worried about moving to Seoul and drifting apart, losing the closeness you have now. Maybe that’s why he isn’t saying anything more either, that’s why you don’t address his unreasonable jealousy over Chanyoung or all those late night talks, the lingering looks and diverting glances. It’s not just a crush anymore, you’re one confession away from making it real because for the first time since you developed all those crushes you feel like it’s worth the risk. Dongmin is worth the risk of getting your heart broken.

The next morning Dongmin texts you to let you know that they will have a last minute practice with the band, so he just sends you the location of the local art café they will perform at on Naver Maps. You answer with a bit too excited ‘see you there!!’ which you immediately regret until he sends a heart reaction to the message. It has you squealing even when you see the icon turn into a simple like and he claims that his fingers slipped. Just to tease him, you tap a like on that message.

You definitely make a bigger deal out of choosing an outfit for the gig than you probably should. You even ask for Sunghee’s opinion over a video call and in a weak moment of yours, you ask her to go with you but she just snorts and tells you that she doesn’t want to be stuck as the awkward third wheel when you eventually leave with ‘your neighbour boy’. You protest because why would you leave with him? But at the same time you kind of wish that you would. You live next to each other, wouldn’t it make sense? Are you too hopeful?

Scratch that! You’re young once and you swore to yourself that you won’t let insecurity or fears hold you back this time. You’re allowed to be a bit delulu sometimes.

You get to the café just in time for the performance to start. You’re still terrible with directions when it comes to new places but you calculated with that beforehand, so it’s all good. You order a dalgona latte, sweet on your teeth and warm in your hands, and settle down at a table close to the cozy winter-decorated stage where the band does last minute tuning and setup checks. You look around and see a few familiar faces from your school as well as some guys from Dongmin’s rare Instagram stories. They all cheer when the lead singer introduces the band and they start with an upbeat, alternative rock-style song. He might not sing the most but your eyes are glued to Dongmin behind the keyboard, at the way he is bobbing his head to the beat or the way he smirks when the audience reacts to certain parts, clearly enjoying it all and that’s what matters the most to you. They perform quite a few songs and you enjoy it thoroughly, regretting a bit that you stopped listening to their new stuff in the middle of second year, thinking it would be easier to move on from your crush like that. And look at how that turned out.

You have so much fun watching Dongmin perform that you aren’t even disappointed that you don’t get your own ‘Y/N moment’ by locking eyes with him through the crowd mid-song. At least not until it’s his turn to introduce the upcoming song after all the other members have already spoken between sets.

“The last song we have for today is a new one. It’s called Just you and me and it’s a bit unpolished but I wanted to perform it tonight,” he says into the microphone propped above his keyboard and glances at you right when the audience starts clapping. You’re pinned to place by his gaze and can’t look away, not even after he does, not when he grabs the microphone and starts singing.

The song is not heavily instrumental, there’s only a soft guitar layer and a simple beat of drums from the chorus, but it stands out because Dongmin sings the whole thing and its lyrics are much sweeter than their usual songs. It sounds like a confession, echoing your own heartbeat.

When it ends, the band says thanks for all the support and drops their social media info, so fans can follow their journey along even when they are not active in Gwangju anymore. Some people, probably friends and family, go up to them to chat while they pack their instruments. You contemplate whether you should say hi to Dongmin or wait it out but you don’t have to worry about that for long because he soon comes to find you by your table.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you beam at him brightly despite the nervous butterflies in your stomach. “You were great up there. I loved the new song a lot.”

“That’s good,” he hums, looking just a bit shy with his downcast eyes and boxy smile, so different from the usual confidence he exudes on stage or when he’s teasing you.

Maybe that’s where the sudden courage comes from, the urge that prompts you to ask:

“Was it… a love song?”

Your tone is tentative, not too pushy, not too hopeful, but Dongmin’s gaze finds yours, earnest but amused, very much like him.

“Maybe. Somebody said she likes movie-like romance,” he shrugs, his smile turning smug when he notices the blush painting your cheeks. This time, you can’t blame it on the cold.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dongmin confirms and clears his throat, clearly out of his element a bit. “Are you heading home now? Cause if you wait a bit, we can go together.”

You nod shyly and send him off to pack and say goodbye to his friends. Before you know it, you’re on your way back, talking about the band’s future plans, places he already knows he wants to check out in Seoul, how your dad plans to take you to move into the dorms by car and your mother is already emotional about it. You don’t talk about love songs and confessions, the possibility of a future together. However, you don’t want to say goodbye tonight without acknowledging your feelings out loud.

Dongmin unexpectedly beats you to it though. Once you’re in the corridor of the apartment building, he calls your name, reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a wrinkled envelope, handing it over to you. You see your name scribbled on the paper and for a moment you’re taken aback because you expected his handwriting to be almost unreadable, rushed and messy but it’s so spacey between characters that it’s cute, especially if he made the effort to make it readable for you.

“To make it fair that I have your letter,” he shrugs oh so casually and scratches his nape. “Just… don’t read it in front of me.”

“You just sang a love song in front of a crowd,” you remind him of his previous bravado which makes him groan in protest and you get it now why he likes it so much, teasing you.

“It’s different!”

“Okay, I will read it when I’m alone,” you promise, holding the envelope to your chest, a part of you wanting to run into your home so you could read it as soon as possible, another part not wanting to part from the boy. But curiosity is killing you. “Bye then?”

You turn, ready to head inside but before you could change your mind and let overthinking ruin your sudden bravery, you turn back to face Dongmin and pushing yourself to your tiptoes, you peck him on the cheek.

“Kiss like we do, huh?” You ask playfully, quoting a bit of his new song and dash inside your family home before Dongmin could react or see how red you get.

If his letter is unlike what you expect it to be, you will probably dig yourself a hole in the playground and hide forever for this but you let yourself hope as you hold your breath and unfold the paper in the safety of your room.

Dear Y/N,

I can’t write sappy letters like you but I can try because you like this stuff. Romantic gestures or whatever.

I know it’s late, that it’s been almost two years since you liked me but I still want to get this off my chest. I don’t know what would have happened if you confessed in our second year because I didn’t really know you. I didn’t know how you ramble when you’re nervous or that you have this cute habit of brushing your hair out of your eyes even if it isn’t there or that you have the prettiest laugh. You’re a bit crazy because who writes love letters complimenting my gorgeous (that’s how you spell it by the way) eyes at the same time as accusing me of becoming arrogant? Who travels to the other side of the country just to get their love letter back? Who stays over playing charades with my siblings on a random weekday?

Half the time you don’t make any sense and ever since you showed up at my door asking for your letter back, you’re driving me crazy.

Sincerely, Dongmin

P.S. But I like you (if it wasn’t clear)

You squeal. Loud enough for the boy to hear through the thin wall between you. He has the audacity to laugh which makes you grab your phone.

you: don’t laugh!! you: btw i like you too! you: again you: still you: if it wasn’t clear dongmin: so unromantic you: ??? dongmin: write me a letter back you: on it! you: ♥️

#taesan x reader #taesan fluff #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor fluff #taesan images #boynextdoor imagines #to all the boys i've loved before au #stories

159 notes · View notes

4ranghaes · 2 months ago

Note

Helloooooo! First off, I wanna start off by apologizing for stalking your page! It’s just so good I couldn’t stop reading all your posts! Especially gongfourz 3some was probably the best one I’ve ever read on here 😩😩

You mentioned before wanting to write dad au so, if it’s not too much to ask, what do you think bnd members would be like as dads? You don’t have to write about all of them but I’m thinking about Sungho in particular is absolutely a girl dad!! Have a wonderful day love 🫶🏽🫶🏽

ੈ✩‧₊˚ bnd as dads!

ot5 bnd x reader [fluff, fem!mum!reader, dad!bnd]

warnings - post partum!reader in sungho’s, pregnant!reader in leehan’s and woonhak’s (leehan’s has pretty detailed descriptions of feeling the baby so i apologise if that’s not your style)

a/n 1 - NEVER apologise for stalking my account i LOVE it i LOVE receiving notifs🥰🥰🥰 and thank you SO much ahh thats crazy praise❤️❤️💕

a/n 2 - AHHHH okay!!! so these are my headcanons for the kids i already had - so i hope you enjoy!!!! i got SO carried away with this…

sungho🎀 [namgi = 6, changmin = 4, kyunghee = newborn]

“okay,” sungho said nervously, though the two boys holding his hands couldn’t detect the tone, “we’re gonna be quiet when we go in, okay? mummy might be in pain, and the baby will cry if you’re loud, okay boys?”

his two sons nodded diligently, holding on tightly to their dad’s hand as they walked through the hallways of the hospital. changmin was babbling a tune to himself as namgi looked around curiously. sungho took a deep breath; he’d been by your side for days on end as you were hospitalised prior to the birth of your daughter, and he didn’t leave your side for the whole 24 hours after she was born. going home to see his boys, no matter how much he loved them, was painful. now, he was plagued with even more worries of the first meeting.

“do you remember meeting changmin for the first time, namgi?” he asked, squeezing the hand of his eldest.

namgi looked up at his dad, thick glasses sat on his nose and nodded with a cheeky smile. sungho looked questioningly at his son, making him giggle.

changmin whined, “hyung! you were– you were 2! you don’t remember!”

“i do so!”

“boys, boys. quiet, remember?” sungho laughed, cursing himself internally for starting the debate as the three finally reached your room, “we’re here.”

changmin gasped, looking at his dad in excitement. sungho looked between the two boys, seeing almost perfect reflections of himself looking back before pushing the door open without letting go of either of their hands.

“okay…” he whispered, “quietly…”

the two boys giggled at the sight of you; four days being probably the longest they’d gone without you in their very short lives. you waved, beckoning them to your bed – which they happily left their dad’s side to run to.

“mummy!” changmin laughed, dashing over to you and climbing on your bed, but stopping himself before he wrapped his arms around you.

“where’s my hug?” you pouted.

“daddy said you might be hurt!” namgi said, pulling himself onto your bed and playing with the material of your clothes - pyjamas from home, finally no more of a hospital gown.

you glared at your husband, who laughed at your expression; ever the worrier. “boys, i’m okay. you can hug me.”

changmin giggled, flopping onto your body as he wrapped his small arms around you.

“but mummy…” namgi said, prompting you to look at him, “where’s the baby?”

“she’s right here!” you whispered with excitement as you pulled the incubator next to your bed closer so your sons could peak a look.

“little sister,” changmin laughed, enamoured with the bundle, though he was confused all the same.

“why don’t i hold her, and you two can come and say hello?” sungho offered, the two little boys scrambling off the bed to follow their dad as he walked round to the incubator.

he scooped the bundle of blankets out the cot with a slight gasp, sitting down on the side of your bed. he pulled the blankets off, revealing her bear onesie as he repositioned her in his arms.

you sat forward, leaning against sungho’s strong back to peak your own look at your only daughter, your head resting on his wide shoulder.

“she’s pretty,” namgi giggled, poking at her clothes gently to get a better look at her face.

“right?” sungho cooed, looking down at his daughter with a honey-filled gaze. you smiled, kissing his shoulder gently as he looked back at you. “you alright?”

you rolled your eyes with a laugh, rubbing his back gently, “you left me for less than 24 hours, sungho. i’m fine.”

he smiled, kissing your head gently before turning back to his children.

“ooh! what’s her name?!” changmin suddenly exclaimed, looking between you and sungho.

sungho turned to look at you, eyebrows raised expectantly after he left you with a final list of names just 12 hours ago.

“kyunghee,” you smiled at your boys, “park kyunghee.”

riwoo🦦🍡 [yuri = 6, wooseul = 1]

“we’re going to go to hybe for a bit instead, okay?” riwoo said, beckoning yuri to stay close to him as they walked along the streets of yongsan, “mummy will meet us there.”

yuri’s hand stayed on her little sister’s pram even as she jumped up and down, “yay! yay! yay!”

“mummy,” wooseul repeated, her pronunciation still that of a baby.

riwoo smiling and moving the hood of the pram to look down at her proudly. “that’s right, baby.”

“that’s right, baby!” yuri parroted, stroking wooseul’s cheek softly, “ah, we’re here! daddy, we’re here!”

“i know, yuri, i know,” he laughed, beckoning yuri to run into the building first, the body guards and receptionists well aware of the charming little girl; confidence personified, especially when with her introverted dad.

greeting the staff first, he followed after, pushing wooseul’s pram through the halls and elevators to koz’s floor, and finally into the designated bnd practise room.

“the lee family has arrived,” riwoo announced, yuri running into the room and hugging her uncle jaehyun’s legs tightly.

“yuri-ah! wooseul-ah!” he exclaimed, picking up the older lee child before bounding over to greet the younger.

“yes we’re very busy on our daddy-daughter date so if this choreo emergency could hurry along,” riwoo said, looking back at the other members also stood in the practise room.

they laughed, taesan stepping forward to explain. “it’s not much, hyung, but we’ve swapped some parts around and we can’t figure out what to do with the positioning anymore.”

riwoo nodded along, thinking for a moment about the choreography he’d made the day previous and how to change it to suit the new requirements of the song.

“yuri, wooseul, watch this,” jaehyun whispered, now sat on the bench at the back of the practise room with a lee girl either side of him, “your dad’s about to be really cool.”

yuri giggled at his silly voice as wooseul stared up at jaehyun with big shiny eyes. he laughed, patting her head with a coo.

“you’re so cute, wooseul-ah,” he cooed, pulling her onto his lap and hugging her close. woonhak and sungho came and joined them on the bench, pointing excitedly at riwoo as he started mapping out some of the choreo.

yuri giggled; practise rooms the most comfortable place for her at this point. since birth, she’d assisted sanghyuk to his dance practises, and immediately upon enrolment in school made sure to join any dance academy or club she could. she watched her dad with a twinkle in her eye; wooseul more bothered about jaehyun’s shiny necklace as he giggled at the younger child.

“yuri-ah,” woonhak smiled, tickling the girls waist, “how are your dance lessons going, you think you could do this?” riwoo turned round to face them, smiling at woonhak’s words.

“of course,” he bragged, “yuri’s the best in her class, right?”

yuri giggled, leaping up and running to her dad, as he held her face in his hands pulling a funny face down at her. “aren’t you, yuri? that’s what your teacher said, hmm?”

yuri smiled shyly, burying her face in her dad’s leg as the members started encouraging her.

“show us, yuri,” sungho smiled, “show us your dance!”

riwoo smiled proudly at his daughter, pulling her out his leg and leaning down to whisper in her ear, the little girl nodding excitedly in return.

“okay! a special performance from yuri, then,” he announced, walking over to turn on ‘nice guy’ as taesan and leehan went to the side of the room, riwoo moving to stand behind yuri and watch her intently.

“huh?!” woonhak exclaimed loudly.

“our song?!” jaehyun laughed, joining woonhak’s shock.

“let’s go, yuri!” leehan cheered, the little girl giggling as she started dancing to the chorus. riwoo watched her proudly, knowing her skills like the back of his hand.

after she finished the moves she knew, she ran to her dad, burying her head in his leg again as he laughed, petting her hair.

“and wooseul?” jaehyun asked, standing the girl up on his lap.

riwoo laughed, walking over and picking up his youngest daughter, twirling her round the room as though they were slow dancing, “dance genius too! see?”

jaehyun🪻🐕 [jangmi = 5, nari = 4, dongbaek = 10 months]

“remind me why we had another child?”

jaehyun laughed, pushing your messy bed hair out your face as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “cause they’re adorable and we love them.”

“but we just got back to normal sleep!”

you heard his laugh echo through the hallway as he collected your youngest daughter from her cot. recently moved from a moses basket beside your bed to her own room, she wasn’t taking the change well - and neither was anyone else in your house for that matter.

“mummy! daddy! dongbaek-ie’s crying again!” jangmi exclaimed, appearing in your bedroom doorway, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands sleepily.

“we know, baby,” you smiled, not bothering to move from where you lay your pillows, instead bringing back jaehyun’s side of the duvet to invite her in. “daddy’s got her, she should stop soon.”

“i do like her…” jangmi trailed off, looking at you cheekily.

you raised your eyebrows, awaiting her next words. “myung jangmi, are you telling me you don’t love your little sister?”

she giggled, laying down beside you and nuzzling into your side, “i like nari.”

laughing loudly, you started tickling her body to tease her, “what?! jangmi! how dare you!”

if the crying from the baby didn’t do it for your middle daughter, laughter certainly did. more and more like your husband each day; nari loved to be where the laughter was.

“mummy,” nari smiled as she appeared in the doorway, teddy gifted by uncle woonhak tucked under her arm.

“come on then,” you smiled, patting the bed beside jangmi as your two daughters got into the warmth beside you.

“uh?!” a loud voice came from the doorway. jaehyun had mock offence on his face, your youngest daughter laying on his shoulder with his protective hand on her back. “my bed’s been overtaken!”

“it’s our bed now!” nari laughed, sticking her tongue out at her dad.

jaehyun pretended to cry, rubbing his face in dongbaek’s tiny body. “dongbaek-ah, save me from your horrible sisters!”

the two girls beside you just laughed, squeezing up to your body so jaehyun could sit on the other side. he raised his knees up, laying the almost-1-year-old on his thighs. she wriggled sleepily as he stared down at her lovingly.

“what do you think dongbaek’s gonna be when she’s older?” he asked, turning to look at jangmi.

both his older daughters were now sat up, staring down at their little sister in wonder.

“an astronaut!” nari cried, jangmi shaking her head defiantly.

“i think an artist.”

“no i’m gonna be an artist!” nari yelled, patting her chest proudly.

“there can be more than one artist, nari!” jangmi scoffed, jaehyun laughing at the interaction, stroking jangmi’s hair to cool her down.

“what do you want to be, jangmi?”

“a singer,” she smiled, settling down beside her dad as he lifted his arm to wrap around her.

“a singer?!” he gasped, a proud smile growing on his face.

“a singer?!” you repeated, “like daddy?”

jangmi nodded, growing shy as she hid her face in her dad’s side.

“woah, you’re so cool, jangmi-ya!” you smiled, brushing her hair affectionately, “and our nari’s going to be an artist too, my girls are so talented!”

“and dongbaek!” nari smiled, peering down at her sister, “even if she’s boring.”

dongbaek was finally starting to settle again, the sight of her dad putting her into comfortable sleep. jaehyun sighed in relief, placing her back on his shoulder.

“right,” he said, voice quiet, “back to bed.”

jangmi and nari whined, protests escaping their mouths immediately. jaehyun silently started signalling wildly to the sleeping baby on his shoulder as his girls started to giggle.

“bed!” he said again, both of them piling out the room as he turned to look at you, rolling his eyes.

you just laughed, “that’s all you.”

taesan🎸🐈‍⬛ [baekho = 8, seulgi = 4, deoksu = 1]

“baekho,” taesan sighed, “you can’t take a bat to school.”

baekho whined, looking to you after his dad seemingly crushed his dreams. you laughed, shaking your head, “he’s right, bud, i’m sorry. you can’t take a bat to school, no matter how much you like baseball.”

the little boy stormed out the room, taesan looking at you and shaking his head with a sigh, “everyday i feel more of a reason to call my mum and apologise for my behaviour as a child.”

you laughed, lifting deoksu out of his high chair and beginning to clean his mouth with a wet wipe, “hmm. and somehow i still think you were worse.”

taesan chuckled, busying himself with cleaning up all the mess from breakfast as baekho came back in the room, full baseball uniform adorning his body instead of the clothes his dad had picked out for him earlier this morning.

“you know what? yeah,” taesan shrugged, “that’s a good halfway point.”

his eldest son sat on the sofa, a serious pout on his face as he crossed his arms. you sat beside him, after placing your youngest on the floor, stroking his cheek softly.

“baekho-ya,” you spoke, “you know if it was up to us, we’d let you take your bat in, right? but both you and us will get in trouble if we let you take it, okay? we’re not trying to ruin your fun, i promise.”

taesan smiled, watching you talk to your son with softness. the beatles continued to play out from the speaker in the kitchen, deoksu toddling over to his dad once he noticed.

“daddy,” he said, taesan bending down to look at his young son with eyebrows raised, “beat-les song right now.”

“yeah!” taesan smiled, kissing his forehead as his heart felt filled to bursting with joy, “do you like it?”

deoksu nodded, giggling as he began dancing (or bobbing up and down). taesan stood up, watching him with a loving gaze. suddenly, he was ripped from the moment suddenly as he glanced at the time.

“god. baekho! seulgi! it’s time to leave!” he yelled, looking at you in confusion, “where’s seulgi?”

“she wanted to pick out her outfit herself this morning,” you shrugged, “and i’m not going to be the one stopping her.”

taesan rolled his eyes, why did his children have to be such mirrors of him?

“seulgi-ya!” he yelled, watching the bottom of the stairs for his daughter to appear. “we’re going to be late!”

“i’ll get the baekho in the car,” you murmured to your husband, kissing his cheek as you placed your dirty coffee cup on the side of the sink. you picked deoksu up, beckoning your eldest son to follow you out. “come on you, shoes and coat.”

taesan sighed as he watched the three of you leave, moving to go up to seulgi’s bedroom to check what she was doing – before he could even reach the bottom of the stairs, however, there she was. her fanciest off-white dress on her body with a soft red cape-style coat over the top. her hair was done in plaits - presumably your only contribution to her outfit, but she’d added a dress-up tiara on her head. he broke out in a smile, heart swelling at the beauty of his only daughter.

“well hello princess,” he chuckled, “going to kindergarten like that today?”

she nodded definitely, smiling up at her dad, “don’t i look pretty?”

he beamed, crouching down and opening his arms for a hug (which she quickly accepted), “you’re the prettiest, darling. put on your shoes quickly, though, we need to leave.”

“yes, daddy!”

he smiled, watching her lovingly as she slipped bright yellow crocs on her feet. he laughed at the new addition to the outfit, shaking his head.

“oh, princess seulgi!” you exclaimed, appearing in the doorway of the house again as your daughter walked out to the car, an air of determination about her, “have a good day at school!”

she giggled, waving goodbye to you and her little brother, climbing up into the car. you looked to taesan who seemed to be in a daze.

“time, taesan,” you said, walking over, deoksu still sat on your hip as you placed your hand on your husband’s face, “i know you’re head over heels for your daughter but you’re gonna be late.”

he snapped back to reality, winking at you as he rushed to the door, “only head over heels for you, my darling. have a good day!”

leehan🪸🐠 [sua = 6, haesu = fetus (6 months)]

“what’s this?”

“what do you mean what’s this?” leehan laughed, his daughter’s small finger trailing over his lips as she looked up at his face from where she lay on his lap, “they’re my lips!”

sua giggled, trailing her finger to poke her dad’s eye, “what’s this?!”

leehan chuckled, taking ahold of her hand and pretending to eat it, sua laughing loudly as his mouth tickled her skin.

“what are you doing?” you giggled, walking into the living room to see your husband and your daughter in their own world as they stared at each other.

“sua’s learning what a face is, apparently,” leehan laughed, tickling his daughter’s stomach as she squirmed on his lap.

“mummy,” sua said suddenly, peering at you. you tilted your head to see her straight on.

“yes, sua baby?”

“can the baby hear us?” she asked, playing with her dad’s hands absentmindedly.

“yes!” you smiled, taking a careful seat on the sofa next to the two, a hand atop your rounded stomach, “why? you want to talk to him?”

sua nodded, suddenly shy as she sat up.

“say whatever!” leehan encouraged, brushing her long brown hair out her face, “i talk to him every night.”

“really?” she giggled.

leehan nodded, a serious expression on his face, “of course! and i spoke to you when you were in mummy’s belly. do you remember?”

sua’s eyes sparkled, exactly the same as her dad’s as they looked at each other - as though trying to gage the other’s reaction. “of course,” she giggled, leehan gasping over dramatically in response.

“you do?!”

she nodded, before turning back to the task in hand as she looked at your stomach. she twisted her head to the side in confusion.

“he’s really in there?” she chuckled, looking up at you.

you smiled, wiping some of whatever she had for breakfast off the side of her mouth as you nodded. you looked down to your stomach, observing for a moment before feeling around. taking sua’s hand, you placed it on the top where your son’s feet were pressing into your skin.

“feel him? right there,” you said, sua’s eyes widening as she sat up suddenly, “he’s kicking me.”

“hey! don’t kick mummy!” sua laughed, placing both her hands on your stomach. she moved closer to the skin, speaking loudly. “hello in there. helllooooo—”

“hello kim sua,” leehan said, putting on a funny voice.

sua turned to glare at her dad, as he just laughed. “dad. i’m 6 now, you can’t trick me.”

“ah, okay, i’m sorry,” he smiled, “go on.”

the little girl turned back to you and the baby, resuming her original position.

“i’m kim sua, can you hear me?” she spoke, watching the surface as though a reply would come, “i’m your sister. and you have to be nice to me because i’m older, okay?”

leehan laughed, burying his face in your shoulder, “where did she get that from?”

you laughed with him, shaking your head, “she’s not allowed to hang out with han seulgi anymore.”

“right?” he said, smiling proudly down at his daughter, “let’s make her hang out with lee yuri. she loves her sister.”

“that’s because she has a little sister, not a little brother,” you said, peering at leehan as he nodded in thought. the two of you were still watching your little girl intently, though she wasn’t listening to a word you were saying; preoccupied with her conversation to her little brother. “i think she’s going to be a good sister though. look at her.”

leehan smiled, nodding, “she loves him already.”

you nodded, leaning your head atop leehan’s as sua suddenly turned to look at you two. you raised your eyebrows in anticipation.

“daddy,” she started, “…can you do the voice again?…”

leehan chuckled, acting confused at the very request. you smiled at him, stroking your daughter’s hair. “speak to your brother again, sua. try one more.”

“can you hear me, baby?” she asked, “answer me!”

“yes hello kim sua,” leehan said in a funny voice, your daughter bursting out in giggles, “i’m your little brother.”

ot6 / woonhak�� (this is a bit different cause i felt weird writing him as a dad - takes place FAR in the future!)

“i think this may be the first time in my life i’ve seen him cook,” sungho gasped, watching woonhak carry out the main dish and place it in the middle of the table.

woonhak smiled sarcastically, jaehyun patting him on the back reassuringly.

“it’s okay, baby,” jaehyun cooed, “you’re proving yourself now!”

“ah stop calling me baby, seriously,” woonhak whined, taking his seat next to you at the dinner table. all of the members and their partners were there, woonhak’s heart beating with what could only be described as nerves as you took his hand. “you all have your own children, why am i still the baby?!”

leehan smiled affectionately opposite him, “no matter how old you are, you’re still our baby.”

“yeah!” taesan cheered, raising his glass, “to our baby!”

“to our baby!”

woonhak chuckled off the comment, looking to you nervously as he played with your fingers.

“seriously, though,” sungho spoke, his glass still raised, motioning towards you and woonhak, “thank you for having us, mr. and mrs. kim.”

you smiled, cheersing him back with your own glass (juice, not wine like the others had).

“well actually,” woonhak started, clearing his throat suddenly as looked between his members, “i– we did have something to toast to tonight. a– a reason to force you all to get babysitters and invite you all here.”

“not that we’re not thankful for it,” riwoo laughed, the others joining, but stopping soon after when they saw their maknae’s serious face.

he smiled at his older brothers, the ones who had practically raised him since youth. you squeezed his hand as he spared a glance back at you before looking to his brothers again. the smile on his face was infectious, his heart now pounding with excitement as he grasps the news he’s about to announce.

“y/n’s pregnant,” he beams, the silence thick afterwards as he looks between them, “we’re having a baby!”

jaehyun’s the first to break, a loud cheer escaping his mouth as he bounds out of his seat, pulling woonhak into a hug. the rest of the boys soon follow; some energetic, some seemingly in a daze.

jaehyun turns to you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“seriously,” he smiled, tears welling up in his eyes, “congratulations.”

“why are you crying?!” you exclaimed, slapping his arm as the rest of the members suddenly latched on to their leader’s tears too, teasing him beyond belief.

“i’m just so proud of him,” jaehyun sniffled, pulling woonhak into another hug as the younger boy whined loudly.

“get off me! i’m a dad now,” he teased, the other boys all looking on lovingly, leehan’s hand stroking woonhak’s hair, while a couple of the others were supporting jaehyun.

“wow,” sungho said, as everyone started taking their seats again.

“does this mean we’re old now?” riwoo laughed in disbelief, sharing sungho’s sentiment.

“no!” woonhak cheered, nothing could offset his mood with news this good.

sungho sighed, “speak for yourself. namgi’s already 12.”

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