#soombee
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soombee · 16 days ago
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𖠋 anton lee as your cutie boyfriend !! ; headcannons ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
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chanyoung x the five love languages :3
pairing ; lee chanyoung (anton) x reader
contents ; gn ! reader (period mentioned but u can ignore that if u want) , pet names , so much love (LOL) , not proofread ! :c
an ; he’s so boyfriend bruh im crying 😢😢😢 loveyouantonitoni , i was giggling when i made this hehehehhe
publish date ; dec 6, 2024
⟢ you love how you don’t have to ask him for anything. he will always know what you want, what you need. he understands all of your languages fluently, you will never ever have to spend your whole lifetime translating your soul for someone who refuses to understand your heart.
( written content under cut )
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physical touch ᰔᩚ
꩜ bf ! anton who’s lifeline is your skin, always looking for an opportunity to stay close to you.
꩜ bf ! anton who’s absolutely in love with holding your waist
꩜ bf ! anton who always keeps a hand on your thigh while he drives, squeezing it occasionally, playfully rubbing circles on your skin
꩜ bf ! anton who pulls you into his lap when he’s sitting, wrapping his arms around your waist (as he watches tv on the couch, as he plays games with seunghan, it doesn’t matter)
꩜ bf ! anton who gives massages whenever you’re sore, always ready to ease your tension (and vice versa)
꩜ bf ! anton who can’t resist tickling you, even though he jumps when you even touch his sides
꩜ bf ! anton who strokes your arm ans rests his head on your shoulder in quiet moments
꩜ bf ! anton who fidgets with your hands when he’s nervous. who lets you, and only you, play with his face and luscious locks (as he calls it)
꩜ bf ! anton who loves when you do his skincare routine or put his hair in little pigtails (maybe both?)
꩜ bf ! anton who will carry you bridal style to the bedroom if you tease him a bit too much..
꩜ bf ! anton who dances with you in the middle of the night to slow love songs, pulling you close and dipping you into the softest of kisses
꩜ bf ! anton who teaches you his group’s choreography, placing his hands gently on your hips and hands to guide you
꩜ bf ! anton who puts your legs on his lap when you’re sitting together
꩜ bf ! anton who slithers his hand under your shirt as you both fall asleep in each other’s presence
꩜ bf ! anton who always holds your hand, no matter what—sweaty palms? don’t care. busy? you have another hand. you need two hands? his other hand is free.
꩜ bf ! anton who, if you’re cuddling and he’s uncomfortable, will lift and readjust you with ease, ensuring you’re still comfortable
꩜ bf ! anton hugs you endlessly, until his cologne clings to your skin, until he makes an imprint on your skin
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acts of service .☘︎ ݁
꩜ bf ! anton who fixes your clothes when he notices they’re misplaced or wrinkled, always making sure you look your best
꩜ bf ! anton who ties your shoes for you, even if it means dirtying his knee (you’d feel bad) (he doesn’t care)
꩜ bf ! anton who feeds you his food on dates because he catches you staring at his plate
꩜ bf ! anton who gently wipes your face with tissues, whether it’s messy from food or streaked with tears
꩜ bf ! anton who carries pads or tampons with him just in case you’re caught off guard (stupid periods)
꩜ bf ! anton who offers to paint your nails when he notices they’re chipped, making them perfect again
꩜ bf ! anton who keeps a lint roller in his car because he knows how much you hate lint on your clothes
꩜ bf ! anton who carries you from the beach to clean the sand off your feet, knowing how much stepping on wet sand irritates you
꩜ bf ! anton who plans self care nights with matching pajamas, face masks, and doing each other’s skincare routines
꩜ bf ! anton who takes care of you when you’re sick, drunk, or just feeling down, because loving you is his favorite thing to do
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words of affirmation ⋆。°•☁︎
꩜ bf ! anton who will always want to know how you feel, how you’re doing, and loves getting updates about your day
꩜ bf ! anton who sends you random paragraphs while you’re asleep, pouring his thoughts into messages you’ll wake up to
꩜ bf ! anton who loves to writes silly love letters when you’re away, hiding them in your jacket pockets for you to find later
꩜ bf ! anton who calls you beautiful, the love of his life, his wife, his everything—making sure you always feel adored
꩜ bf ! anton who is soft spoken but intentional, leaving no room for doubt about how much he loves and cherishes you
꩜ bf ! anton who craves long, intimate talks in the dead of night, with only your voice and soft music filling the air
- but i’m falling behind. “i’m still so proud of you, my yn”
- do you still love me? “always in all ways”
- i did it!!! “i knew you could do it!”
- did you see that, toni?! “that’s my baby”
- you deserve more than me.. “you complete me”
- i look so ugly today.. “the presence of you give my butterflies”
- i hope you have fun w riize today!! don’t worry about texting me :) “don’t be ridiculous, i’ll update you, baby”
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gift giving / receiving 𝜗𝜚
꩜ bf ! anton who loves giving you gifts, whether they’re expensive or handmade, because he loves spoiling you
꩜ bf ! anton who surprises you with two jellycats every week—one resembling you and the other him—because you casually mentioned wanting one
꩜ bf ! anton who immediately says, “okay, let’s go,” when a new movie you’ve been waiting for is released, happily paying for tickets
꩜ bf ! anton who fully supports your new collection, making sure to contribute whenever he can (smiskis, sonny angels, legos, etc)
꩜ bf ! anton who snoops through your tiktok reposts to find things he can buy or create just to make you smile
꩜ bf ! anton who makes pipe cleaner versions of your favorite flowers, even though they’re slightly (noticeably) wonky
꩜ bf ! anton who turns your polaroid obsession into a reason to make you a custom journal filled with your memories
꩜ bf ! anton who isn’t great at arts and crafts but always tries, just to see your radiant smile and flushed cheeks that he loves so much
꩜ bf ! anton who cherishes the gifts you give him just as much, turning it into an unspoken little competition between you two
꩜ bf ! anton who lights up and lifts you up in the air when you surprise him with the shoes he’s been wanting for months
꩜ bf ! anton who treasures the little things, like the seashell you found and thought of him
꩜ bf ! anton who proudly wears the white tee you transformed with pink lipstick kisses, saying it’s his favorite shirt
꩜ bf ! anton who notices the way you handpick his favorite candies just because they’re his favorite color
꩜ bf ! anton who doesn’t care about any material thing because to him, you’re the greatest gift he’s ever received
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quality time ��
꩜ bf ! anton who doesn’t care whether you go out or stay in; he just wants to bask in your presence
꩜ bf ! anton who refuses to let you spend money on him because your company is all he ever needs in life
꩜ bf ! anton who will follow you anywhere—even if he’s sore from practice—because being with you is worth the cramps
꩜ bf ! anton who stays mentally present, writing down random plans in your shared calendar and putting his phone away to focus on you
꩜ bf ! anton who never sees you as needy and never complains about the time you spend together, only that there isn’t enough time in the year
꩜ bf ! anton who drags you along to his photoshoots, shoots, and backstage moments, just to have you nearby
꩜ bf ! anton who will always ask if you want to run errands with him, knowing your answer is (and will always be) yes
꩜ bf ! anton who loves random facetimes, sleep calls, and mornings spent getting ready together
꩜ bf ! anton who “helps” you in the kitchen but really just makes a mess and watches you with heart eyes, his drool pooling below him
꩜ bf ! anton who craves the simplest forms of intimacy: skin to skin, soft words, and just being near each other
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purely © soombee ‘s work ― all rights reserved !! please refrain from copying , stealing , or translating my work ( w/o permission ) thanku!
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taglist (open) ! @1starqi
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soombee · 1 month ago
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light of my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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hanie in glasses ♡
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lyrics365 · 4 months ago
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이미뱉어버린말들엔지우개가없었어 (I don’t have eraser of words)
imi baeteobeorin maldeulen jiugaega eopeoteo nae mameul deulkyeobeorin naldeuli bukkeureowoteo eolgule bukeun hyungteodeuli naege malhae geunyeoreul gidaryeojurago nan tto geudae maeum sokeseo neomeojyeobeoryeotneyo naege saenggin sangcheoneun uril apeuge haetjyo moksoriro jeokhin geochin yeonpiljagukeul jiugoseo geudael ango sipeoyo geudaega eotteon oteul ipeodo eotteon sarangeul…
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kaiyunsim · 24 days ago
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Off Script — SMAU
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synopsis : as co-mc’s for one of the hottest shows, you and jaehyun have perfected the art of keeping audiences entertained with your effortless banter and undeniable chemistry. off-camera, your connection deepens into a friendship that feels like it could become something more—if only one of you would take the first step.
pairing : idol!myung jaehyun x soloist gn!reader (photos will be male reader tho)
genre : fluff, angst, strangers to friends to lovers
warnings : death jokes, swearing, probably more in the future
a/n : hey guys we are BACK ! i’m in my bnd obession phase so here is a smau on them 😋
started : 28/11/24 - …
. ݁₊ ��� . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
clown subunit | boynextdoor
chapter 1 : i miss myeongdocat
chapter 2 : GUESS WHO
chapter 3 : ty co-host
chapter 4 : guest mc
chapter 5 : dream team
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
taglist : OPEN ! (comment / send an ask to join)
@molensworld @kkurbys @bubblztaro @livingdoll-hara @desafortuno @gnusihcom @iamsimplyasimp @valenriwoo @jmclouds @l-lucas-s @bee-the-loser @regginade @zhaegon @cl4ir0l0v3r @soombee @0108s22m @skuyafj @zzstar @bellymellyyyy @academiq @tarotarosung @angelzforu @httpenhoon @pinklemonade34 @thebearchives @meoriapeuda99 @kazemiya @lisaswifey @enzstr @kukkurookkoo
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dreeamingg · 6 months ago
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널 향한 내 마음에도 겨울이 왔다
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mcheung · 29 days ago
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when you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers :3
HI MARLENE!!!!!!!!! how are you <3
this is one of the prettiest songs i’ve ever heard
my favourite thing abt ttpd is that different songs hit you at different times and not all at once and this is one of the recent ones
i’ve just been nostalgic for the musical.ly days recently so i had to add this lol 😭😭
i love la la land <3
this just makes me so incredibly sad for some reason?? idk how to explain it
this is just one of the greatest bops. very much early 2010s.
this is a xinyao song covered in one of my favourite singaporean movies!!
canto cover of material girl !!
seasonal theme <3
this one makes me cry a little bit 😭 and the harmonies!! crazy.
HELP I JUST REALISED IT SAID 5 SONGS SORRY YOU GET 10 NOW 😭😭😭
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leemoonya · 2 years ago
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hollisonceagain · 2 years ago
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december songs day 21: soombee - water
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solplparty · 2 years ago
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𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 차분하게 듣기 좋은 잔잔한 인디노래들 : K-INDIE PICKS :: https://youtu.be/W-UHrIW2eQw 00:00 우효 (OOHYO) - 토끼탈 (TOKI TALL) 04:51 허회경 (Heo Hoy Kyung) - 그렇게 살아가는 것 (So life goes on) 08:06 김푸름 (KIM PUREUM) - 꿈이었기에 더 슬펐던 꿈 (Dream that can never be) 11:28 이영훈 (Lee Young Hoon) - 오늘의 안녕 (Hope You Are Well) 15:38 양창근 (Yang Chang Keun) - 바람 (Wish) 17:42 프롬 (Fromm) - 그런 계절이잖아요 (Breeze I Come Across) 21:03 윤현상 (Yoon Hyun Sang) - 감정이 다 무뎌져 가는 밤 (Letting go) 25:02 결 (KYUL) - 어디로 가야 (Where Do We Go) 28:19 조소정 (Jo SoJeong) - 연��� (misty moonlight) 31:23 meenoi (미노이) - 그만큼만 (faraway) 35:12 웨스턴 카잇 (Western Kite) - 하늘색 (sky blue) 38:32 강아솔 (Kang Asol) - 다 고마워지는 밤 (Thanksful Night) 42:36 데이먼스 이어 (Damons Year) - Pagan 45:24 이소 (e_so) - 둥지 (Nest) 48:18 한로로 (HANRORO) - 당신의 밤은 나의 밤과 같습니까 (Questions from our night (feat. 숨비 Soombee)) 52:12 최유리 (Choi Yuree) - 숲 (Forest) 56:00 등 (igotyourback) - 적당한 마음 (NUMB) 59:36 알레프 (ALEPH) - 사랑으로 가득하길 (May our love be like) 01:03:07 구원찬 (Ku One Chan) - 합 (Completion) 01:07:02 초승 (CHOSNG) - 여기까진가요 (Is it over here) #휴식 #잔잔한 #인디노래 #플레이리스트 - Photo : @jennierubyjane - More about MUN HWA IN ▶https://www.munhwain.kr ▶https://www.facebook.com/munhwainkr ▶https://www.instagram.com/munhwain_official/ ▶https://spoti.fi/3oph4ja (Spotify playlist) ▶http://blog.naver.com/munhwain_official ▶https://twitter.com/munhwainkr 문화인 - MUN HWA IN
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soombee · 27 days ago
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ᯓᥫ᭡. a love that came before us — han taesan ༄.ᰔᩚ
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dear diary, i’m so cooked.. he’s so nice to me i could cry!!
❥・spin off of .. caught in the current of you !
ಇ. in which .. leehan fumbles the bag with you—his jealousy and indecision to make a move driving you further away. enter taesan, a man who isn’t afraid of showing you what you’ve been missing when you were wasting your time w leehan
a story of second chances —but not for leehan !! :c
ཐིཋྀ , pairing ⋆ han dongmin (taesan) x reader ( also as @ / dessi_dessi_d on ig ! )
ཐིཋྀ , genre ⋆ ex’s best friend ! taesan x healing era ! reader , flirty hehe , infatuation , BOYFRIEND TAESAN. HE’S ACTUALLY SO OBSESSED W U I CANT 👅👅 , fluff , crack , half smau + half written
ཐིཋྀ , warnings ⋆ profanity , sensitive jokes (kys, sexual, etc.)
ཐིཋྀ , status ⋆ ongoing :3
ᓚᘏᗢ taglist (open) ! @httpenhoon @tkooooop @haechology @prettiann @endtostartbreathin @1starqi @jvngw0nlvr @moonhuiz @squiishymeow
note/s : mwahahahahhA I SPENT SO LONG MAKING YHE BANNER PLZ DONT TELL ME ITS BUTT 😢😢 anyways comment or um ask if u wanna be tagged :3
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🪁 ch. catalogue ₍^. .^₎⟆
profiles ; same as citcoy !! + taesan’s priv :p
pr. 00 ; ho im jinja serious shibal
ch. 01 , more importantly..
ch. 02 ,
ch. 03 ,
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en-gelic · 9 months ago
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thanks for the tag chloe!
e - everything by the black skirts n - nothing by kiss of life g - gold dust by nct e - eighteen winter by soombee l - lowkey by niki i - ikaw pa rin by mrld c - chaconne by enhypen
tagging (no pressure): @i57berry @sincerelyrki @froggyeli ++ everyone who wants to join!
rules: pick a song for every letter of your url and tag that many people.
tagged by: @janaispunk, thank you for tagging me jana! <3
s: symptom of life by willow h: hertz by amyl and the sniffers e: echolalia by faetooth l: l'amour looks something like you by kate bush l: leikara ljóð by susanne sundfør s: swim good by frank ocean h: habibi by tamino o: orange by big thief c: cranes in the sky by solange k: kiss by mannequin pussy l: laughing song by black country, new road o: one of these things first by nick drake v: virgo's groove by beyonce e: electricity by joni mitchell
no pressure tags: @dustydaddyyy, @perotovar, @hollandweather, @sweetercalypso, @swiftispunk, @covetyou, @silkscream
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soombee · 16 days ago
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ଳ⋆。˚𖦹 caught in the current of you — 13 , i sea us together forever (LOL)
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warnings ; none
word count , 1022 ( 1k words )
who wants to be tagged in my bf ! anton headcanons heh.. plus my one shot heh… merry christmas, please don’t call
5:47 pm — aquarium of the pacific
the aquarium always brought you a strange sense of calm—the dim lighting, the sounds of water lapping against the glass, and the kaleidoscope of soft, warm colors swirling inside each tank usually quieted the noise in your mind
but today, your thoughts raced like they were trying to outpace time
you’d told yourself this visit was just for you—a moment to breathe, to distract yourself from everything hanging over your head. but even as you moved from one display to the next, your fingers twitched toward your phone. you thought about texting him again.
leehan..
somewhere between the jellyfish exhibit and the coral reef display, you decided to stop fighting the urge. you pulled out your phone and stared at the screen, your thumb hovering over his contact,
“hi leehan, i miss..” you typed, then erased it
why did this feel so hard? like you two weren’t inseparable just weeks before?
a group of children ran past, their laughter pulling you back to reality. you slid your phone back into your purse and leaned closer to the glass, watching the schools of colorful fish weave through the water. maybe you weren’t ready. maybe this day was meant to be quiet, not weighted with confrontation or confessions..
you turned a corner and paused at the catfish tank, drawn in by the sleek, shadowy figures gliding effortlessly in circles. and that’s when you saw him.
leehan..?
he was standing a few feet away, his hands shoved into his pockets, his head slightly bowed. his face, illuminated by the faint blue glow of the water, looked even sharper than you remembered. there was an undeniable sadness in his eyes as he stared at the fish, like they held all the answers he was searching for,
your breath caught in your throat.
you weren’t ready for this.
you couldn’t seem to move either.
leehan shifted, and your heart jumped as if he might turn and spot you. you ducked behind a nearby column, your mind spinning. what is he doing here..?
a part of you wanted to believe this was fate, that the universe had aligned just to pull the two of you back together. but the other part—the one still hesitant, still unsure—wanted to slip away quietly before he saw you..
minutes passed, though it felt like hours, and you finally worked up the courage to peek around the corner. he was still there, unmoving, his eyes fixated on the catfish
the silence stretched. you wondered if he would leave soon.
but then he sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly, and began to turn away.
panic shot through you.
fuck it. who cares if i’m not ready? i want to be happy, with him.
you stepped out before you could second guess yourself, your voice barely above a whisper, “leehan.”
he froze.
when he looked up, his eyes met yours, wide with disbelief, “…yn?”
the tension was palpable, thick like the water surrounding you both. for a long moment, neither of you spoke. it felt like the world had slowed, leaving only the two of you in its orbit,
“what are you doing here?” you finally asked, your voice trembling
he blinked, his expression softening slightly,
“i could ask you the same thing, haha..”
you smiled faintly, nerves bubbling to the surfacex “i needed a break, i didn’t expect to see you here on a school day”
“i didn’t expect to see you either,” he glanced down, rubbing the back of his neck, “i almost didn’t come. thought it might just make me think more about things i’ve been trying to avoid..”
his honesty disarmed you,
you took a step forward, closing the gap between your bodies and hugging him—hugging him like you would die if you let go. his body stiffened at first, not knowing what to do, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. but then his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to his skin.
the sound of your heartbeat drowned out everything else. the catfish swam lazily behind the glass, oblivious to the storm of emotions unraveling between you.
“i missed you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest, “so much.”
leehan exhaled shakily, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head, “you have no idea how much I missed you too.”
you pulled back just enough to look at him, your hands gripping the fabric of his jacket. his eyes, shining with something you couldn’t quite name, searched yours like he was trying to memorize every detail of this moment.
“i thought i needed time,” you said, your voice trembling. “i thought i could figure it all out on my own but.. being away from you… it only made me realize how much i—”
“don’t,” he interrupted softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “don’t rush into this because you feel like you have to say something. i’ve waited this long.. i can wait a little longer”
his words hit you like a wave, gentle but overwhelming.
“but what if i don’t want to wait anymore?” you asked, your voice barely audible
his lips curved into a small, disbelieving smile, “are you saying what i think you’re saying?”
you nodded, the weight of your indecision lifting as the truth finally spilled out. “i’m saying I want to try again. with you. for real this time.”
leehan let out a breathless laugh, pulling you into another embrace, “you don’t know how much I wanted to hear you say that..”
for the first time in weeks, the tension between you dissolved, replaced by a fragile hope that things might finally fall into place,
but as the two of you stood there, lost in each other, you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was still more to say, more to work through.
“leehan,” you began, pulling back slightly. “if we do this… please be honest with me. no more walls, no more second guessing.”
he nodded, his expression serious. “i promise. no more of that shit, i’m all in”
you smiled, color flushing to your cheeks, “me too”
for the first time, you felt like you were finally moving forward—together.
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taglist (open) ! @saintriots @yourmyst4r @sftsohee @httpenhoon @alisonyus @astrae4 @lynnimini @enhacolor @mari3s @voikiraz @yveol @sol3chu @saritahwang @kazemiya @kamfaye @meoriapeuda99 @1starqi @dylanobr1ens @lisaswifey
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soombee · 1 month ago
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ଳ⋆。˚𖦹 caught in the current of you — 05 , 𝓲 𝓯𝔀 𝔂𝓱𝓾 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝔂
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warnings ! lowk slight angst + ummm slighty freaky
wordcount , 2291 / 2.2k (sorryLOL)
u r pink, leehan is green (for thoughts)
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11:30 am — your house
leehan shot you a quick text and leaned back in his seat, idly scrolling through his phone until the front door swung open
he stepped out of the car as you peeked out, waving him over. your hair was a bit messy, and you were still your pajamas—a cropped long-sleeve top and matching short shorts with little teddy bears printed on it
“omg hi,” she greeted, holding the door open for him, “sorry, i’m still in pjs, come quick it’s cold”
leehan closes the front door, letting the warmth of the heater cover his frosted skin
“i need a second opinion,” you clarified, leading him towards your room
leehan looked around, noticing the soft sage green that matched her personality perfectly
he noticed your bean bag and crashed on it, the walls are adorned with a mix of posters, photos, and decorations, adding a personal touch
“so,” turning toward him, “what do i wear?”
leehan glanced at your pajamas, then at the outfits on the bed, “i mean u could just go like that,” he joked, a small smirk tugging at his lips
you raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “SERIOUSLY, sangwon’s almost there!! we’re gonna be lateee!”
“i’m serious, it’s cute,” he said, shrugging casually “but if u insist, let’s see”
“Hello. DID I HEAR HIM CORRECTLY???.!.?” your eyes wide open, “omg. He’s so. Freaking Oblivious. AHAHHHHHAHAHAHHH!!!”
he got up from the bean bag and walked over to your bed, picking up a fitted white tee
“what about this?” he holds it up to your body, “looks nice on you”
you nodded, picking at your own hands as you try your best not to squeal in front of him, “mmm alright, what about my jeans?”
leehan grabbed the washed jeans that were folded neatly and held them against the crop top
“omg wait, i’m literally so goated at this wtf” he nods his head in disbelief, “it matches ur proportions perfectly, you’re welcome”
you laughed at his praise “don’t get too ahead of urself buddy… it’s literally just a basic tee w baggy jeans”
“always hating for what?” he chuckles, setting the clothes down
you scoff, heading towards the bathroom, “let me get changed real quick”
leehan nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he glanced around your room and his eyes landed on your bed side table, a polaroid of you and your friends at some social event. his eyes lingered on you,
“cute..” — leehan
when you returned, dressed in the outfit he picked, he blinked at LEAST 10 times, he was caught a little off guard. the cropped shirt hugged your figure just right,
“what’s this feeling…?” he could hear his heart beat, “whatever.. must be cus it’s my first time in a girls room.. yeah.. sure..”
“so?” you asked, doing a little spin
“uh..” he paused, trying to find the right words as he looks you up and down, “i— uh, you’re welcome, is all i can say”
“your ego is too high for your own good, hannie” you grab your bag from the dining room table and head towards the door, not noticing your nickname slip up “let’s gooo”
he looks down at you, getting a strange feeling in his stomach, “haha, let’s go” he fixes his hair
“damn it’s getting hot in here.” he smirks
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12:38 pm — almost there (sorry not sorry sangwon)
the drive was quiet at first, considering you two just stared getting to know each other, there was only the low hum of the music playing in the background.
leehan, was always one to fill silences, started rambling about some new fish he saw at the aquarium the other day..
“it was huge, yn. like, i thought it was going to jump out the glass and bite me or something!!” he said, his eyes lighting up as he gestured wildly with one hand
you chuckled at his words, nodding along, though your mind wasn’t on the fish. you were too busy noticing the small things about him—
you noticed how his fingers tapped against the steering wheel in time with the beat, how his side profile looked unfairly perfect in the sunlight streaming through the rolled down window, how his beauty marks were spread perfectly across his face… oh how lovely he was!!
“how can someone be so perfect?!” you flash a soft smile, feeling your heart beating out of your chest, thank god for the loud freeway & background music..
when you two finally arrived, leehan was quick to jump out and jog around the car to open your door
you blinked at him as he held it open with a small bow, smirking like it was the most natural thing in the world
“you didn’t have to do that,” you mumbled, putting away your makeup as you finish touching your blush up (u didn’t even have to do that with leehan there hehe #NaturalBlush)
“i know,” he replied easily, like it was no big deal, how oblivious of him!!
you tried to ignore the way your chest tightened at the gesture. he was like this with everyone, wasn’t he? always kind, always thoughtful, right..?
as you two walked down the sidewalk towards the café, you found yourself hyper-aware of your surroundings—the crunch of leaves underfoot, the faint chill in the air, and most of all, the proximity between you and leehan. your arms swung lightly at your sides, occasionally brushing against each other
his fingers grazed yours, so brief it could’ve been nothing, but it felt like everything to you. you froze for a fraction of a second, your heart skipping a beat, but he didn’t seem to notice. he kept walking, completely unfazed, rambling about some band Sangwon had recommended to him last week
“how is he this oblivious?!” your cheeks heating up as you stared down at your shoes. so obviously distracted by the phantom feeling of his hand brushing yours that you barely heard what he was saying
“yn?” he stopped in his tracks to check up on you
you blinked, looking up, “h-huh what??”
he gave you a curious look, tilting his head slightly, “u good? u look…uhh..troubled?”
“uh, yeah! totes fine!!” you say quickly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and giving him a little smile
“hm” leehan squinted at you, not believing you one bit
for a moment, you let herself hope—just for a moment—that maybe he had felt it too.
but then, as the day went on, you watched him being his usual self, holding doors open for strangers, offering a smile to anyone and everyone, and you realized it was just him,
you weren’t so special, he was just nice to everyone!
you can’t believe you thought you might’ve been special to him —maybe those smiles meant something extra when he gave them to you?
but now, as the day went on and you watched him be just as sweet to sangwon— well, maybe even sweeter— but you realized it wasn’t the case
your heart sank a little, becoming a lot quieter, not really in the mood to laugh along with their jokes anymore
sangwon, who was surprisingly observant, noticed almost immediately. when your huzz wandered off to grab drinks, he nudged you
“what’s up with you”
“nothing” you lied, continuing to scroll on your phone
he rolled his eyes, “you’re so annoying, you’ve been weird all day.” he scoffed, “does it have to do with him?”
you silence was enough to answer his suspicions, how’s his dumbass so emotionally aware.
sangwon sighed, glancing over at where leehan was fiddling with a vending machine, “look, he’s dumb. like, reaaalllyyy dumb.. he probably doesn’t even realize he’s making you feel this way”
“i’m fine,” you muttered, voice cracking slightly. you don’t even know why you cared so much!! it’s not like you two were ever anything?!
sangwon stared at your frown for a moment before clicking his teeth,
“what’s up w him…”
by the time leehan returned, you noticed sangwon had a smirk on his face
“yo, hasn’t she been kind of quiet today?” sangwon said casually, sipping his drink
leehan frowned, his eyes flicking to your figure, “really? are you okay?”
you forced a small laugh, “fine, just tired”
he didn’t seem convinced, spending the rest of the day trying to cheer you up. he tried everything, telling you the most ridiculous stories, made faces that would have embarrassed anyone else just to make you smile — even just a little bit
6:49 pm — leehan’s car
by the time he was driving you home, the sadness that had been weighing on your chest had mostly lifted, thanks to his silly little self
“thank you for today,” you said softly as he pulled up to the driveway
“anytime,” he replied, looking at your face intently
you tried to play it off, shifting your weight slightly, but the way his eyes studied you made it impossible to move naturally
“fuck.” lub-dub , lub-dub
“FUCKCKCKCKKK” your heart screams
leehan wasnt saying anything else, just looking. his expression was calm, unreadable, but there was something about the way he wasnt blinking—like he couldn’t, like he didn’t want to miss a single detail
“what?” you asked, your voice quieter than you intended
“nothing,” he said, eyes refusing to waver
your heart thudded against your ribs, your skin heating under the intensity of it all. you forced yourself to glance away, breaking the invisible thread pulling you toward him. but even when you weren’t looking, you could feel it—his eyes lingering on you, the weight of his silence, the strange electricity hanging between you two
“youre staring,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant
“am i?” he smirked, as though he hadnt even realized. but the slight shift in his posture betrayed him—his fingers flexed against his jeans, and he took the smallest step back, like he was trying to compose himself?
“yes, yes you are,” you muttered with a nervous heart, still avoiding his gaze
“didnt mean to” his voice softened, and when you glanced back at him, you noticed how his jaw tightened, like he was holding himself back. he looked away quickly, messing with his hair in that casual way he always did when he was nervous, but his fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt like it was the only thing grounding him
“holy shit he’s so.”
it was silent for a moment, the kind of silence that made your skin tingle. you were certain he was just zoning out, that his obliviousness was working overtime today. after all, he was leehan—the guy who never seemed to notice how much you cared
even though you just met the guy.
but what you didn’t see was the way his chest rose and fell unevenly as he tried to look anywhere but at you.. how he swallowed hard to push down the lump in his throat.. how he wanted nothing more than to close the distance between you but stopped himself every. single. time.
because in leehan’s mind, you didnt feel the same. you couldnt, not when you were so effortlessly you, and he was just… him.
how you never returned his subtle glances in chemistry. how you never listen to the songs he writes for you. how you never noticed him.
“next time…”
“lets go,” you said finally, breaking the moment as you grabbed your bag
“right,” he said, clearing his throat as he turned toward the door. but his hand twitched at his side, and for a fleeting second, he almost reached out to you. almost.
instead, he held the door open, waiting as you walked past, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor now
you didnt notice the way his knuckles turned white as he gripped the car door or the way his lips pressed into a thin line to keep from saying the one thing he wanted most
and as you brushed past him, your shoulders accidentally bumping, you felt a spark, faint but impossible to ignore
“thank you,” you mumbled, brushing your hair behind your ear as you hurried toward the front door
“anytime,” he said again, his voice quieter this time, almost like a promise he wasnt sure he was allowed to keep
but then, in the corner of your eyes, you noticed the packages stacked outside the door—big, heavy furniture boxes that you completely forgotten were supposed to arrive today
“uuuugghhhhhh,” already dreading the idea of dragging them inside
“hm? whats wrong?”
“nothign, just…those” you motioned towards the boxes
leehan followed your gaze, “oh, let me help”
“nonono, you dont have to—”
“too late,” cutting you off, racing you towards the front door
you worked together to carry the boxes inside, though you struggled with yours almost immediately….. #weak
before you could protest for the nth time, leehan reached over to help, his hand brushing yours as he took over the box for you
something suddenly knocking the air out of you. you glanced at him, cheeks burning but he didn’t seem to notice at first
he looked up, catching the flustered expression in your eyes
“wait are you blushing?” he asked, his voice tinged with amusement
“what? no!!!” you defended, punching him slightly, “you wish.”
“yes i do.”
he grinned, and then—he giggled. actually giggled. it was soft and boyish, the kind of sound that sent anyone’s heart into overdrive
“riiighhhttt,” he teased, “must be the heat or something!!”
you glared at him, the effect was ruined by your reddish cheeks, “just shut up and carry the box”
leehan’s laughter followed you into the house, and even after he left, the sound lingered, echoing in your mind long into the night
maybe sangwon actually put u on… hm.. nah
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i giggled writing the last part hehehehehehe , user writemyeyes isn’t leehan beeteedubs
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taglist (open) ! @saintriots @yourmyst4r @sftsohee @httpenhoon @alisonyus @astrae4 @lynnimini @enhacolor @mari3s @voikiraz @yveol @sol3chu
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soombee · 18 days ago
Text
merry christmas , please don’t call — sim jake ⋆⁺₊❅⋆
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pairing ; sim jake (en-) x reader (s.her pronouns)
warnings / genre ; hurt no comfort , alcohol consumption (don’t do this!!!) , jake being a real man and yearning , idol smau , mentions of harm (metaphorical) , lmk if more!
word count ; ~8600 (8.6k words)
publish date ; dec 4, 2024
sypnosis, jake sim still aches for the love he let go, haunted by memories of you in every snowfall—well more like every day he breathes. though your breakup was for the best, he can’t stop yearning in silence, whispering love letters you’ll never hear.
perm tag list (open) ! @voikiraz (tysmily)
— inspired by “merry christmas, please don’t call” by bleachers ^^
an ; hai guys Sorry for this LOLLL i still love u i promise… but no this actually hurt me to write.. sorry for thr weak angst tho I HATE angst so much plz #ILoveComfort ily so much jake i would never leave u…. (But actually plz leave if your s/o acts likw this or never follows their words w actions!! a liar will always tell and never act!!) AND PLS DO NOT GET BACK W UR EX (if they hurt you) (if they didn’t do anything and they hit u up RUN BACK HOME!!!! IJBOL) (only if u want to ofc) (do not cheat) (never ever be like jake in this fic #istillloveyou #imsorry.) anyqays. Hope this fic isn’t too boring, enjoyyy!!! ☺️☺️
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the snow fell in soft, silent sheets, muffling the world and its noise. the streets glittered under the warm glow of streetlights but jake felt none of the holiday cheer radiating around him. his feet moved on autopilot, crunching through the fresh layer of snow as he headed toward the cafe—the café
he hated himself for coming here. he’d avoided this place for months, knowing full well it was a minefield of memories—every corner of the space filled with you. but tonight, something had drawn him back. maybe it was the first snow, or maybe it was the loneliness creeping in, heightened by the christmas spirit
he pushed the door open, the warm air inside hitting him like a bittersweet embrace. the smell of fresh coffee and gingerbread filled his senses, and for a moment, he could almost pretend nothing had changed
Almost.
jake’s eyes automatically scanned the room, even though he knew you wouldn’t be there. you were probably across town, maybe even across the country, living your new life—the one you’d both agreed you needed. but that didn’t stop his heart from aching as he slid into the corner booth, the one you’d always claimed as yours, the one where you two had met.
the waitress came by, and he ordered black coffee. no frills, no sweetness. just black and bitter, like the ache in his chest that refused to fade
he sat back, letting his gaze drift to the window. outside, the snow swirled under the streetlights, mesmerizing in its quiet beauty. but jake wasn’t thinking about the snow. he was thinking about you.
he thought about how your hands used to curl around your own mug, fingers perpetually cold until he’d wrap his own around them, how he’d dance you in the dim light of the night and how you looked as beautiful as ever. he thought about the way your nose would scrunch when he teased you, or how your laughter used to fill this space, louder and brighter than any christmas song playing in the background
God, he missed that laugh
he missed everything about you. the way you’d insist on splitting a cinnamon roll even though you’d end up eating most of it. the way you’d lean into him, your head resting on his shoulder as you people-watched through the frosted glass. he even missed the arguments—the stupid, petty fights about nothing that always ended with you curled into his side, whispering soft apologies against his neck
jake ran a hand through his hair, biting down hard on his bottom lip. he hated how vivid the memories were, how they clawed at him even now, months after you’d walked away
no, that wasn’t fair. you hadn’t just walked away—you’d made the decision together. it had been mutual, logical. you’d both realized you were heading in different directions, that clinging to each other was only holding you back. you’d promised to let each other go, to grow, to heal
but jake wasn’t sure he’d healed at all
if anything, he felt stuck. he went through the motions—practice, performances, interviews, photoshoots. smiling for the cameras, playing the part. but behind closed doors, it was you he thought about when the silence crept in. It was your voice he longed to hear when he woke up in the middle of the night, reaching for someone who wasn’t there
the coffee arrived, and he wrapped his hands around the mug, letting the warmth seep into his frozen fingers. he stared at the black liquid, the bitter aroma filling his lungs. he didn’t even like black coffee, not at all. you used to tease him about it, saying it didn’t suit his personality
“sim jaeyun, a golden retriever in human form, drinking something so bitter? you’d have to kill me to make me believe it,” you’d said with a laugh, stealing a sip from his cup before grimacing dramatically, “yuck, this is nasty!!!”
jake clenched his jaw, the ghost of your laughter ringing in his ears. he couldn’t count the number of times he’d caught himself replaying your voice in his head, as if the sound of it could bring you closer. it never worked, of course. the space between you had only grown more distant, the threads of your shared life unraveling into nothing but silly little memories
he stared out the window, the snow piling higher on the sidewalks. couples walked by, their faces illuminated by the golden glow of christmas lights. one of them reminded him of you—a girl tugging at her boyfriend’s scarf, laughing as he rolled his eyes and let her adjust it for him. it was the kind of small, meaningless moment he used to share with you
but now, jake didn’t have anyone adjusting his scarf. he barely wore one at all, the cold biting at his skin a welcome distraction from the pounding aches in his chest
his phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him back to the present. he pulled it out hesitantly, the screen lighting up with a notification. it wasn’t you—of course it wasn’t. it was just a message from jay, asking if he wanted to join the group for dinner later. jake didn’t reply. he couldn’t bring himself to face anyone tonight, not when the weight of you was still pressing down on him so heavily
his thumb hovered over your contact instead, the familiar name glaring back at him like a taunt. he shouldn’t. he couldn’t. you’d made it clear when you parted ways: no calls, no texts, no nothings. not because you didn’t care, but because you cared too much. staying in each other’s lives would have been too painful, a constant reminder of what you had both lost
but God, did he want to hear your voice.
“merry christmas, please don’t call,” he muttered under his breath, echoing the line from the song that had been haunting him all night. he set the phone face down on the table, resisting the urge to do something he’d later regret
the truth was, he didn’t even know what he’d say if you picked up. would he tell you he missed you? that he still kept the scarf you left at his apartment, buried in the back of his closet because he couldn’t bring himself to throw it out? that every time he heard your favorite song, he had to leave the room because it made his chest tighten with longing?
jake laughed bitterly, shaking his head. none of it would matter. you were gone, and no amount of yearning could bring you back
the café was quieter now, the other customers leaving as the evening wore on. jake drained the last of his coffee, the bitterness lingering on his tongue. he left a few bills on the table and stood, his legs feeling heavier than they should
outside, the snow was laying thicker, coating the world in white. it was beautiful, he supposed, but it only made the city feel emptier
as he walked down the street, the cold seeped through his coat, but he didn’t care. his thoughts were stuck on you, on what could have been if things had been different. if he’d fought harder. if you’d stayed.
but life wasn’t “the notebook,” there were no miracles waiting to reunite you. the was only the cold, and the loneliness, and the silence
jake reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone again. his thumb hovered over your name one last time before he let out a shaky breath and put it back in his pocket
“merry christmas,” he whispered to the empty street. “i hope you’re happy.”
with that, he kept walking, his figure disappearing into the snowfall, the quiet yearning in his heart a burden he’d carry alone—do you still think of me?
flashback — beginning of the end
his absence wasn’t sudden—it never was. it began to stretch further and further. at first, you’d see him four or five days a week, then three. then there were weeks when you could count the hours he was home on one hand
you adjusted, at least outwardly. you stopped waiting up for him, stopped asking if he’d be home for dinner. every time you thought to reach out, his familiar excuses echoed in your mind:
jakey jakey: sorry baby, new album soon. promise i’ll make it up to you, i love you!
but his words felt emptier with every passing week.
sometimes, you’d sit on the couch with your phone in your hand, staring at his contact name and wondering if it was worth calling. would he even pick up? if he did, what would you say?
i miss you.
i can’t keep doing this.
come home.
instead, you swallowed your words and let the silence stretch on.
to cope, you tried to fill the spaces he left behind
you threw yourself into work, taking on extra projects to keep your mind busy. you reconnected with old friends, meeting up for coffee or weekend brunches that helped ease the ache, even if only for a little while. you even had time to travel to australia to visit your in-laws.
but no matter how much you tried to distract yourself, the loneliness always crept back in. it lingered in the empty apartment, in the untouched leftovers in the fridge, in the cold side of the bed where jake used to sleep.
your friends noticed, too.
“you okay?” one of them asked over lunch one day
you forced a smile, “mhm, just busy, yk?”
“have you seen Jake lately?”
the question hit harder than you expected. You hesitated before answering,
“not as much as I’d like.”
they exchanged a look, one you couldn’t quite decipher, but they didn’t press further
when you got home that evening, you sat in the quiet and wondered if this was your life now: always waiting, always wondering, always pretending everything was fine
you told yourself it was temporary.
jake had always been ambitious—relentlessly so—and you admired that about him. he’d fought days and nights of exhaustion to get to where he was, pouring his blood, sweat, and tears into a career that demanded everything and more from him
you had to understand that.
when he missed date night for a sudden meeting, you reminded yourself of how hard he worked to provide for a future you both dreamed about. you pictured the life he talked about during quiet nights: a cozy home, maybe with the children you two had planned on having, vacations to places you’d only seen in magazines. this was just a temporary sacrifice, you told yourself. he was doing it for you. for both of you.
on your anniversary, when he texted to say he was stuck at the building again, you tried not to let the hurt show. you prepared the dinner anyway—all of his favorite meals—lighting the candles and sitting at the table long after the food had gone cold
when he finally called, voice strained and full of apologies, you smiled through the disappointment,
“haha it’s okay, my love. i know you’re busy.”
“next time,” he promised, “i’ll make it up to you.”
you wanted to believe him.
and when the missed dinners and canceled plans piled up, you clung to the hope that all of it—the sacrifices, the empty nights, the growing distance—was worth it, he’s a rising star!
he’s doing this for us, you repeated like a mantra, even as the cracks in your heart grew deeper. stop being so selfish, yn. he loves you, he’s doing this for us.
but as the months passed, those words began to feel like a lie and you wondered how much more of yourself you could give before there was nothing left.
your birthday came — jake promised to surprise you. everything should have been perfect.
he had planned everything down to the smallest detail. he’d listened when you talked about how much you missed those intimate dinners, the quiet moments when time seemed to slow. he remembered every little thing you liked and disliked, and he had worked tirelessly to make this birthday different—to make up for the forgotten anniversaries, the unspoken words, the promises made in the heat of passion and quickly broken in the cold rush of reality.
a quiet dinner at your favorite restaurant. a small, decadent cake with the kind of frosting you loved, not too sweet but perfectly balanced. a handwritten letter, each word carefully chosen to remind you of all the reasons why he loves you, of all the reasons why you had been the light in his life for so long, of all the words he could not say to you.
but none of it happened the way Jake had envisioned..
you sat on your couch, hands gripping the edges of your phone, staring at the screen as the minutes ticked by. 5:30 pm—the time you had agreed upon. that was when you expected him to arrive. that promised. promised it would be different this time but as the hands of the clock seemed to mock you, you knew deep down that this night was going to be just like every other—every single one of the nights you had spent waiting for him.
the dinner you’d prepared, with love and care, now sat on the table, cold and untouched. the candles you had lit to set the mood flickered softly in the silence of the room, their light casting long shadows on the walls.
you sent another message,
“baby, where are you?”
the response came minutes later.
“running behind, something came up at the studio. be there soon, i promise lovely.”
you stared at the screen, your heart sinking. ‘be there soon..’ you had heard that so many times, but it had never meant anything. he had always said the same thing, always claimed he was on his way, and yet it felt like you were always the one who waited. always the one left behind
you placed your phone on the table, willing yourself not to cry. but it wasn’t about the tears anymore. it was the disappointment. the frustration. the pain that had built up over weeks, months even, as his promises piled up like empty words
an hour passed. another message.
“so sorry, baby. still at the studio. it’s running late.”
at the studio. Again.
it had been weeks since you had gone out to dinner together without something getting in the way. his job, his career, his ambitions—they always took precedence. you understood that, you told yourself. you’d been patient, supportive, waiting quietly for him to balance things out, to see you the way you needed to be seen.
but now? now, you were beginning to wonder if he even saw you anymore, if he even thought about you
when the door finally opened, it felt like the moment you’d been waiting for all night was anticlimactic
jake stepped in, his coat dripping water onto the floor, his face twisted with guilt and exhaustion. his eyes were wide with that apologetic look, but it wasn’t enough. not anymore. the bouquet of flowers he held in his hands was a sad excuse—wilting, pale, as if the gesture itself had already been rotten
“i’m so sorry i’m late baby,” he began, the words rushed as if they were rehearsed,“there was this thing at the studio, and—”
you couldn’t take it anymore
“do you even care?” the words came out harsher than you expected, filled with raw, unfiltered emotion
jake froze
you could see the way his breath hitched, the way his hands tightened around the flowers as if they were the only thing grounding him to the present moment—even though the thorns from its stems found its way into his skin. he looked so lost. so helpless.
his mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. you could see the panic in his eyes—the kind of panic that came from knowing he had already failed. but still, he reached for you, as if that would solve everything. as if the gesture alone could erase the months of distance between you two
but you weren’t willing to forgive him, not this time. not when your heart ached too much for you to pretend that things were okay anymore
“are you serious?” you laughed, but it wasn’t funny. it was bitter,
“every time i think it’s getting better, you pull this shit. i’m always waiting. always. and you’re never here. NEVER present. You’re just like my fucking dad, jake.”
his face paled, his eyes flickering to the table where the cold meal sat untouched, the cake you had baked slowly sinking into itself, the flickering candles an eerie reminder of how much time had passed,
“i swear i didn’t mean for this to happen,” he said, but the words felt hollow, like they were coming from a place where regret was no longer enough to fix anything, “i swear i was going to—”
“it’s always your words and never your actions. what? you thought i would be okay with this?” your voice broke then, the weight of your frustration cracking through the veneer of control you had been holding onto all evening,
“that I would just understand? you’ve been promising me for weeks, jake. weeks! and all you do is disappoint me. i don’t even know who i’m waiting for anymore”
his face twisted with guilt. he wanted to reach for you, to pull you into his arms, to apologize until it made everything better, to reassure you that he was still the jake that you fell for, but he knew he couldn’t. he knew the distance between you wasn’t something he could close with a hug or a few empty words.
“i love you,” he said quietly, his voice full of desperation, as though that would be enough
you flinched at the words, like a punch to the gut. you love him too, but love didn’t fix this. love didn’t heal the broken parts of you that had cracked under the weight of his absence.
you shook your head. “i used to believe you. i really did.”
jake’s eyes watered at your words, his throat tightening as if he was on the verge of breaking down, but you couldn’t bring yourself to comfort him anymore. not when you were drowning in your own hurt, drowning in a flood caused by him
“you don’t even know how much this hurts,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “i’ve been waiting for so long, and all you ever do is show up when it’s too late.”
the silence between you was suffocating, the air thick with things unsaid, feelings that had been buried too deep for too long. jake opened his mouth to speak, but you raised a hand to stop him
“jake please,” you said softly, each word feeling like a finality you had been avoiding for months. “i can’t do this anymore.”
he staggered back, as if you had slapped him, the weight of your words landing like a punch to his chest. he opened his mouth to say something, but it was clear that nothing could undo what had been done
“i’m sorry. i really am,” he murmured
but you couldn’t hear him. not anymore. the door was closing, slowly but surely, and he was too late to stop it
you turned your back to him, taking deep breaths, fighting to keep your composure. you couldn’t stay in this room with him any longer. not when everything had become a reminder of his neglect. not when the warmth you had once shared had been replaced by this suffocating cold
“please…just go,” you said, voice breaking as you finally let the tears fall
he hesitated, as if waiting for you to change your mind. but when you didn’t, he turned and left, the door closing behind him with a finality that echoed in your heart
and in the stillness of your apartment, you realized you were alone.
hours later, after he had left, you sat in the quiet of the dark apartment, the remnants of your birthday still scattered around you—half-eaten food, the stale cake, the wilted flowers. you had always been told that love was supposed to feel like home, but all you felt now was the emptiness of it
the day it finally ended.. oh it was heartbreaking.
it was late, nearing three am, when jake arrived at the apartment. you were laying down on the couch, hands curled beneath your head, waiting patiently in the cold. the sound of his keys jingling in the door used to fill you with relief, but tonight it only brought dread of whats to come next
jake stepped inside, his shoulders slumped, dark circles beneath his eyes. he paused when he saw you drifting to sleep, your face lit only by the dim glow of a nearby lamp
“hi baby, why are you still up?” he asked, his voice tentative, he kisses your head
“i needed to talk to you,” you said, sitting upc keeping your voice steady—though your chest felt like it was already caving in.
he kicked off his shoes, setting down his bag. “can it wait? it’s been a long day—”
“no.”
that one word was enough to stop him in his tracks. he looked at you properly then, his brows furrowing as he took in the tense set of your shoulders, the tight grip you had on your thigh.
“what’s wrong?” he asked, though you both already knew the answer
you took a deep breath, your throat tight, “jake, we can’t keep doing this.”
he froze, his hands hovering over the back of his head, “..doing what?”
“this,” you said, motioning to the space between you. “pretending that everything’s okay. pretending that we’re okay.”
his jaw tightened, and for a moment, he looked like he was about to argue against the idea. but then his shoulders sagged, and he sat down across beside you, his movements slow and deliberate
“i know i’ve been distant,” he started, his voice barely above a whisper, “but i swear i’m trying to get everything done as fast as possible, love.”
you shook your head, tears already pooling in your eyes, “you’ve been saying that for months, yun. and i’ve been so. patient. i’ve been waiting for you to come home, to show up, to prove that we still mean something to you. but you never do.”
“that’s not fair,” he said, his voice breaking, “you know how hard they’ve been making me work. you know how much this career means to me.”
“and what about me?” you shot back, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “what about us? don’t we mean anything to you anymore?”
his silence was deafening.
“jake,” you continued, your voice trembling, “i’ve been here since the beginning, holding on, hoping things would get better. but they’re not. and i don’t think they ever will.”
his head dropped into his hands, and for the first time, you saw him break
“please,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “please don’t do this.” he held your face with grace, not wanting to hurt you even more
your heart shattered at the sound of his desperation and the look of defeat on his face, oh your poor baby had tears in his eyes. but you forced yourself to stay strong, “i don’t want this either. but i can’t keep holding on to someone who’s never here. i can’t keep chasing for someone who won’t wait for me.”
he looked away then, his eyes red and glossy. “you’re everything to me. don’t you see that? everything i’m doing—it’s for our future. i want to give you everything you want in life.”
“but what’s the point of a future,” you said, your voice heavy with sorrow, “if we can’t even make it through the present, jake?”
you stood up after wiping his tears, “i love you jake but i’m hurting, i can’t stay with someone who’s never there to comfort me.”
and with that, you disappeared into the depths of your shared room.
the next morning, jake was gone before you woke up—7:39 am, he had only slept for 4 hours..? he left a note on the kitchen counter, scrawled in his messy handwriting:
“I’m sorry.”
that was it. no explanation, no promises to try harder. just two words that felt like a knife twisting in your chest.
you couldn’t take it anymore.. you couldn’t take his empty words and promises anymore.
by the time he came back that evening, the apartment was empty. your clothes were gone, your toothbrush missing from its place by his. you didn’t leave a note—what was there left to say?
jake sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the now-bare dresser where your framed photo once stood. his phone buzzed in his pocket, but he didn’t bother to check it. he already knew it wasn’t you, why would it be you?
he couldn’t bare the emptiness of the space.
that night, he called his mother. the moment her face appeared on the screen, her warm smile faltered at the sight of him.
“jake? what’s wrong, mom’s sweetie?”
and that was all it took. his facade crumbled, and the tears came before he could even speak
“she’s gone, mom,” he choked out, his voice barely audible
his mother’s face softened with concern, “oh, baby…”
“i tried,” he continued, his words tumbling over one another. “i tried to balance everything—to make her happy, to make this work, to keep my career. but i couldn’t. i couldn’t give her what she needed.
“did you talk to her?” his mother asked gently
jake shook his head, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “what could I say? that i’m sorry? that i’ll do better? i’ve said those things a hundred times, and it was never enough.”
his mother’s face flickered with sadness, her heart aching for her son. she wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms, to hold him the way she had when he was little and scraped his knees on the playground but she couldn’t reach him through the screen.
“jaeyun,” she said gently, “you’ve been carrying so much on your shoulders. you’ve always worked so hard—for your career, for the people you love. but sometimes, love isn’t about how hard you try. it’s about being there and it sounds like that’s what dear yn needed most.”
“i know,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “i know, but i couldn’t.. i thought i was doing the right thing but now she’s gone and i don’t know how to fix it. i don’t know if I can fix it—“
his mother let out a soft sigh, her expression pained. “sweetie, listen to me. it’s okay to grieve, to feel like you’ve failed. but you can’t carry this alone. you need to let yourself feel it, even if it hurts. you need to take time for yourself, for your heart”
jake nodded weakly but his chest ached with the knowledge that time wouldn’t bring you back,
“i miss her,” he admitted, his voice breaking again, just like his prepubescent days, “i miss her so much, mom. i don’t know how to do this without her”
“you’re stronger than you think,” she replied, her voice steady but filled with love, “but that doesn’t mean you have to do it all on your own. lwan on the people who care about you—your members, your friends. and if you ever need mom, i’m here.”
those words should have comforted him, but they only made him feel the distance more acutely. she wasn’t in korea, she was thousands of kilometers away, he couldn’t just drive over to see her, to collapse into her arms and let her stroke his hair the way she used to when he got scared of thunder striking,
“i wish i could be there,” he said, his voice trembling, “i wish i could just… come home and stay there forever.”
his mother’s expression softened, tears shining in her eyes. “i wish you could, too. but always remember why you moved back to korea, to achieve your dreams.. but still, i’m always with you, jaeyun. always.”
it wasn’t enough—not really. he needed her here, needed to feel her arms around him, needed her to tell him everything would be okay even if it felt like his entire world was crumbling but he nodded anyway. he agreed, knowing there was nothing else to say, nothing else could be said
“thank you, mom,” he murmured, his voice hoarse from all the recordings, melt downs, dehydration.
“take care of yourself, sweetheart,” she replied, “don’t forget that i love you always.”
“i love you, too,” Jake said, his voice breaking again as he ended the call, the screen going dark
jake stared at his reflection in the blank screen for a long moment, his face blotchy and tear-streaked, eyes red and swollen. he dropped the phone onto the couch beside him, burying his face in his hands as another wave of grief hit him—you were gone.
the comfort he sought was so close yet unreachable. his mother’s words lingered in his mind, warm and full of love, but they couldn’t bridge the thousands of miles between them. he felt like a child again, crying out for someone to make the pain stop, but no one could.
he sank further into the couch, the silence of the apartment pressing down on him. it was unbearable. everywhere he looked, there were memories of you—the book you’d left on the coffee table, your favorite mug still sitting in the cupboard, the blanket on the couch you always used when you curled up to watch movies together..
he thought of how you used to hum absentmindedly in the kitchen, how you’d lean against the counter and laugh at his attempts to help, how he’d always hug you from behind while you were cooking. he thought of the way you’d smile at him, soft and full of love, as if he were the only thing that mattered in the world,
but now, you were gone.
he clutched the throw pillow to his chest, as if holding onto it could somehow bring you back. he wanted to scream, to break something, to do anything that might ease the ache in his chest but all he could do was sit there and drown in his own regret
jake had always prided himself on being strong, on enduring whatever life threw at him, but this? this was different. this was the kind of pain that seeped into every corner of his being, leaving him hollow and exhausted.
he wanted to call you, to beg for another chance, to promise he’d do better. But he knew it wouldn’t change anything. you’d tried—both of you had—and it still hadn’t been enough.
so he sat there, alone, in the dark, heart aching for a love he could no longer hold onto.
jake spent the next few weeks wandering through his days in a haze. the apartment felt impossibly quiet without you there, your absence a constant reminder of what he’d lost.
he drowned himself with work, staying late at the studio until exhaustion forced him to stop. although no matter how busy he kept himself, the emptiness remained
some nights, he found himself sitting by the window, clutching the small, crumpled note you’d once written to him: “i’ll never stop loving you, i will love you until we both become food for soil!!”
but now, he wasn’t yours to love anymore.
and that realization hurt more than anything else.
days without you blurred into weeks, and the weeks into months. but for your ex lover, time didn’t heal—it only deepened the wound, pressing onto it with a sharper blade. you were everywhere, not just in the apartment you’d once shared but in the life you continued living without him.
each of your milestones became a ghost that haunted him, milestones he had once imagined celebrating by your side. now, they were moments he had to watch from afar, each one a bittersweet mix of pride and pain, leaving him both in awe of your resilience and hollowed by his absence from your joy.
your birthday. don’t even get jake started on your birthday.
he had always loved your birthdays—well, before the idol like exhausted him. he used to make them extravagant, treating the day like a sacred holiday meant for only the two of you. he remembered how your eyes lit up at the smallest details—a handwritten note tucked under your pillow, a trail of flower petals from your once-shared bedroom all the way to the kitchen table, breakfast already made for you, the way he’d stay up until midnight just to be the first to wish you everything you’ve been working towards
but this year was different.
jake found out about your celebration through a tagged photo on social media. you were at a cozy rooftop party surrounded by your beloved friends, the city skyline twinkling in the background. yog were smiling, radiant as ever, holding a cupcake with a single swirly candle
he couldn’t stop staring at the screen, fingers frozen over his phone as he scrolled through the pictures. he noticed how your smile was the same one he used to know—bright, genuine—but there was something missing. or maybe it was just him, searching for a version of you that didn’t exist anymore, searching for a hint of sadness in you.
he typed a message, the words “happy birthday, I hope you’re doing well” sitting in the text box. but before he could press send, his own voice echoed in his mind, bitter and sharp:
happy birthday. please don’t call.
his chest tightened as he deleted the message. you didn’t need him ruining your special day. he put the phone down, but the images of you celebrating stayed in his mind, vivid and unrelenting. for the rest of the night, he sat at the piano, fingers moving across the keys as he tried to compose something—anything—to capture the ache in his chest but all that his fingers memorized were the chords of your favorite song.
by morning, the only words he had written were:
i love you. i’m sorry.
a few months later — one year after your break up.
jake knew today was special. he didn’t need to see pictures to know you’d graduated. he remembered the date from when you used to talk about it, lying next to him in bed, your voice filled with hope and determination,
“i can’t wait for you to see me walk across that stage with aaaalll my chords, sashes, and medals,” you’d said, your head resting on his chest. “i’ll probably trip, though..”
he’d laugh, kissing the top of your head,
“i’ll catch you if you do”
the thought twisted in his chest now, bitter and hollow. he wasn’t there to catch you—not at your ceremony, not in your life. he wondered if someone else had stepped into that role.. no. nevermind. that thought hurt to imagine.. it hurt a little too much.
he found himself scrolling through old photos on his phone, landing on one of you in his hoodie, hair messy, glasses perched on your nose as you furiously typed away at your laptop. you were studying for finals, the faintest scowl on your lips
“i don’t know why i’m doing this,” you’d muttered, frustrated
“because you’re amazing,” jake had replied without hesitation, “and you’re gonna be the best (profession of choice) out there”
now, he stared at the picture until his vision blurred. you had achieved your dream after years of education, just like you always said you would. he wanted to tell you how proud he was, how he’d always believed in you, how he’d always be your biggest fan.
but all he could whisper into the silence was:
“congratulations. please don’t call.”
“i’m proud of you. please don’t call.”
it was easy for you to find a starting job in your career dud to your impressive statistics.
when jake saw the announcement, it was like a punch to the gut. someone had shared your linkedin update—a smiling picture of you holding a nameplate for your new job. the caption was simple, professional, but it felt like a dagger:
“i’m officially licensed hehe”
the brunette stared at the photo for what felt like hours, his mind racing with conflicting emotions. he was proud of you—of course he was. he’d always known how capable and brilliant you were, but the pride was laced with a sharp, unbearable ache.
he couldn’t stop the flood of memories—thinking about the nights you spent on his couch, head buried in job applications, chewing on the end of your pen as you stressed over every word. he remembered your hopeful smile when you got that first interview call and how you’d hugged him so tight he could barely breathe when you told him the good news.
jake used to imagine this moment—your first big girl job, your first step into the career you’d worked so hard for. but in every version of that memory, he was there to celebrate with you. he’d pictured himself popping champagne in your apartment, pulling you into a kiss as he told you how proud he was.
instead, he sat in his empty apartment, staring at a screen. the message he wanted to send formed in his mind: i always knew you’d get there, my love. you deserve this.
but then, like a reflex, the bitter echo followed:
please don’t call.
his phone buzzed with a notification—another congratulations for you from a mutual friend. He muted the conversation. it wasn’t jealousy; it was the sinking realization that the version of your future he’d envisioned, where he stood beside you every step of the way, was gone.
later that night, jake sat down, pen and paper in hand, writing absentmindedly. mind soft, full of you and how proud he was:
“congratulations on your first job.
i knew you’d get there.
i knew you’d shine.
but please don’t call.
i’m proud of you.
please don’t call.”
his fingers cracked on the last line, and he put the pen down, pressing his palms into his eyes to stop the tears.
as he stopped writing, he decided to pick up his guitar, the melody so melancholic and raw.
the lyrics he’d written—unfinished and full of longing—stayed with him. you slipped into his music, weaving through the melodies he created, even when he didn’t mean for them to. the studio became both a sanctuary and a battlefield.
his bandmates noticed the shift. he was quieter during rehearsals, distracted during dance practices, often lost in thought. when he sang, his voice carried a weight it hadn’t before—a deep sadness that even they couldn’t ignore.
one night, alone in the studio, jake finally recorded a song. the verses described every aspect of yours he’d missed: your kindness, thoughtfulness, your gentle face, your everything. each line was a love letter wrapped in pain, a confession he could never send.
by the end of the recording, his voice broke completely. the final line lingered in the empty room, his whisper barely audible:
“one ticket out of your heavy gaze
I want one ticket off of your carousel
I want one ticket out of your heavy gaze
I want one ticket off of your carousel”
jake didn’t know if the song would ever see the light of day. it wasn’t meant for anyone else but himself. it was his way of holding onto whatever he had left of you, even as the world forced him to let go.
and yet, as he sat in the silent studio, he couldn’t help but wish—just once—that you would listen to his song anyway.
years later — he hasn’t heard from you in a while, maybe he was finally healing after years of hurt..?
** ding..!!
oh! oh? ….oh.
“yes to forever!!” your instagram post captioned
it was simple—just a picture of your hand intertwined with someone else’s, a gleaming ring on your finger
the world seemed to tilt as he stared at the photo. his vision blurred, the edges of the screen fading into a dull haze. for a moment, he thought it was a joke, a misunderstanding, or maybe just a bad dream!! he rubs his eyes, no. no no no—there it was, still clear and undeniable, he could feel every pinch his fingers inflicted
jake didn’t breathe. he couldn’t.
he clutched his phone tighter, as though crushing the image into oblivion would erase this event. but the picture stayed, unwavering, a testament to the reality he’d spent years dreading. you were moving on..?
he had flashbacks of the future he’d once imagined.
there had been a time when jake couldn’t picture his life without you. you’d once lain together under a canopy of stars and fireflies, his hand in yours, as you talked about the future—two kids, one pet, and a happy life with each other.
“what kind of wedding do you want?” he had asked, his voice soft and full of promise
you had laughed, rolling onto your side to face him. “something small and intimate. just our close friends and family. i don’t need anything big as long as i’m with you”
he smiled, brushing a strand of hair from your face, “i’ll make it perfect.”
he had imagined that day so vividly. you in white, walking toward him, the room filled with music he had handwritten just for you. he’d imagined the vows he’d whisper, promises he’d spend a lifetime keeping. and he’d imagined forever with you—a future where he could hold your hand until the very end
now, that future belonged to someone else. someone deserving of your love.
he didn’t want to know when your wedding day was set. no, he didn’t want to know anything about you at all. but fate had a cruel sense of humor. he overheard it in passing from a mutual friend, who mentioned it like it was just another piece of small talk.
the day arrived like a storm, unrelenting and heavy. jake woke up early, his chest tight and his mind racing. every hour felt like a countdown, each second pulling him closer to the inevitable
by noon, he was in the studio, in meetings, in talkshows trying to drown his thoughts in work. but even his industry betrayed him. everything reminded him of you, of the songs you used to hum while he played, of the melodies you inspired, of talkshows you’d talk about
he couldn’t escape you.
as the evening rolled around, jake found himself sitting on the floor of his apartment, a glass of liquor in hand. his phone lay beside him, the screen dark, but he couldn’t stop staring at it. he wondered what you were doing at that exact moment.
were you walking down the aisle? were you kissing his lips? were you happy?
jake’s throat tightened as he imagined it—the soft rustle of fabric as you stepped forward, the way your smile must have lit up the room. he pictured your hands trembling slightly as they always did when you were nervous, and then he imagined someone else holding those hands steady
someone who wasn’t him.
the thought sent a sharp ache through his chest. he tried to take another sip of whiskey but his hand shook so badly that the liquid sloshed over the edge of the glass. setting it down, he pressed his palms into his eyes, as if that could stop the flood of images rushing through his mind.
he could almost hear your laugh, soft and bright, as you said I do. as you committed the rest of your life with a random guy.
jake leaned back against the wall, head tilted toward the ceiling. he’d let his mind drift to the promises he once rehearsed in secret, words he thought he’d say to you on your wedding day.
“i promise to never let you doubt how much i love you. i promise to be your biggest supporter, your greatest comfort, your forever.”
he’d practiced them countless times, sometimes whispering them into your ears as you drowned in the quiet night, other times writing them out in notebooks he still couldn’t bear to throw away
but those promises never left his lips. instead, someone else had taken the vows that should have been his. someone else got to stand where he always thought he’d be,
his memories collided.
the hours dragged on, and jake was helpless to stop himself from scrolling through every post, every picture that filtered onto his feed. he saw the smiling faces of your friends, the decorations you’d once described as your dream aesthetic, and then, finally, he saw you
you were breathtaking, just as he’d always imagined. the way your dress flowed around you, the soft light catching on your features—it was like a snapshot from his dreams. only now, the man beside you wasn’t him.
jake didn’t realize he was crying until a tear splashed onto his phone screen. he swiped it away angrily, but the flood wouldn’t stop. his breaths came in shallow gasps, his chest heaving under the weight of his grief,
he tried to rationalize it. he told himself this was for the best, that you deserved happiness—even if it wasn’t with him but the logic couldn’t touch the deep, raw ache in his heart.
he seeked so much comfort.
jake reached for his phone and dialed his mother. it rang twice before her familiar voice answered,
“Hello my sweetie”
hearing her almost broke him completely. he clutched the phone tightly, his voice trembling as he spoke. “mom… i—i don’t know what to do.”
“what’s wrong, jaeyunie?” her tone was soft, laced with concern
he hesitated. he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. couldn’t tell her that the person he loved more than forever was now promising forever to someone else
instead, his words came out broken and vague. “i just.. i feel like i’m losing everything.”
“oh, jake.” her voice cracked slightly, and he could picture her, thousands of miles away in brisbane, wishing she could reach out and hold him. “i’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”
“i want to come home,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “i just want to see you. i need to see you.”
“i wish you could, too,” she said gently. “but you’re strong, jake. i know you are. stay in korea for yourself”
he nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. the words were comforting in their own way, but they didn’t ease the pain gnawing at him. nothing ever could.
“i’ll be okay,” he muttered, though he wasn’t sure he believed it. “i just.. i just don’t know how to let go.”
there was a long pause on the other end of the line. when his mother spoke again, her voice was thick with the weight of unspoken words,
“i know, son, i know”
jake closed his eyes, letting the silence hang between them for a moment before he whispered, “i wish i was there with her. i was supposed to be the one beside her today.”
his mother sighed, a sound full of both sympathy and sorrow, “you know it’s not always about being there physically, jake, but I understand.. it’s hard to let go when you’re still holding onto the dream you built in your heart.”
he swallowed hard, the tightness in his throat making it difficult to speak. “i thought she was the one. I thought we had a future. and now, i don’t know what i’m supposed to do with all of this… all these feelings, and she’s… she’s not even thinking of me anymore”
his mother’s voice softened. “I know. but maybe.. maybe you’ve been holding onto a version of her that’s no longer yours. people change, sweetheart. and so do relationships.”
jake stared blankly at the wall, letting the words settle in, but they didn’t make him feel any better. in fact, they only made him feel more lost, more alone. he knew it was true, of course—he’d seen it happening slowly over the past months. But to hear it spoken out loud made the truth more final, more undeniable,
“i just don’t know how to say goodbye..” his voice cracked, a sob he couldn’t hold back rising in his chest,
“i know, darling,” she replied softly. “but sometimes, saying goodbye is the only way to set both of you free”
oh….. i hate everything about goodbyes.
the night wore on and jake found himself unable to move, still sitting in the same spot. the wedding pictures had all but burned themselves into his memory, and he couldn’t look away from them. he wanted to scream, to shout, to curse the world for taking you away from him—but he couldn’t. instead, he just let the tears flow freely, as if every drop of sadness, of regret, was somehow washing away the person he used to be.
as the clock ticked past midnight, his phone buzzed again. it was a message from a group chat with his bandmates, and he briefly considered ignoring it. but then he saw it: a single notification from.. you..?
“Hi Jake!! God, I’m sorry. I wanted to reach out sooner because we’ve just been soo apart for a while, and I’m not sure if this is the right time to say this but, I just wanted to say… thank you for everything. You helped me become who I am today.”
he stared at the message with his heart in the pits of his stomach for several long moments, feeling the weight of each word press against his chest. the ache deepened. you had moved on—fully, completely—and here he was, stuck in the past, unable to let go.
it was almost cruel the way your message made him feel both grateful and shattered at the same time. you were happy. you had your life, your future. you had someone who would be there for you in ways he never could be anymore.
his thumb hovered over the screen, but no words came. what could he possibly say? what could he say to someone who no longer needed him?
I still love you.
He deleted it.
the words stayed with him. the line, the thin thread of hope that still clung to his heart, even though he knew better.
jake sat in the dark of his apartment, the echoes of your wedding day still fresh in his mind, and then, finally, he reached for his phone again. his fingers shook as he typed out a message to you—one he knew he should never send but couldn’t stop himself from writing
he pressed send before he could second-guess himself, but almost immediately, regret filled him. his eyes were glued at the message for a long time, his heart pounding in his chest. it was too much. he couldn’t expect you to do so, to follow his message. not when you had worked so hard and moved on to a future that didn’t include him
the notification buzzed back with the “delivered” mark
and yet, he held onto that one shred of hope—just for a second, just for a moment—wondering if, somehow, you would come back. maybe not now, but someday.
he closed his eyes, the weight of the words still heavy in his chest. and with a single, painful exhale, he let go.
“Congratulations on your wedding. Please call me.”
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purely © soombee ‘s work ― all rights reserved !! please refrain from copying , stealing , or translating my work ( w/o permission ) thanku!
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soombee · 27 days ago
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ଳ⋆。˚𖦹 caught in the current of you — 09 , checkmate !!
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warnings ! angst!! decision making!! (LOL)
word count , 1433 / 1.4k words
lf = looking for , i was sooo excited for this chapter to come finally heheehehe… also SORRY IF THIS FEELS FORCED LOLL.. i literally HATE slowburn so much……
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9:18 pm — outside a cafe
leehan’s head leaned against the wall near the coffee shop, scrolling through his phone. his last message to you was still unread by you, and his irritation grew with every passing minute
he knew he’d been acting differently lately—sharper, colder—but he couldn’t help it. seeing his ex best friend openly flirt with you on twitter, seeing how much you smiled at his comments, had his jealousy running wild
the bell above the door jingled, and there you were, walking out with taesan by your side, laughing at something he said. he held the door open for you, and leehan’s stomach twisted
“leehan?” your voice broke through his thoughts. you looked surprised to see him, your smile faltering slightly, “what are you doing here?”
“waiting,” he said shortly, shoving his phone into his pocket as he glares at the black haired man beside you
“for who?”
“for you.”
taesan smirked at him, the smugness in his expression barely hidden, not like he wanted to hide it,
“didn’t know you’d be here” taesan said
“i can see that.” leehan’s tone was flat, his eyes flicking between the two of you
“leehan,” you said softly, sensing the tension, “you okay?”
“yeah, fine.” his words were sharp, clipped. too sharp. you frowned
“really? you’ve been acting weird lately..”
“i’m not the one acting weird,” he snapped, his jealousy finally boiling over. “but hey, maybe you and taesan should sort that out since you seem so close these days?”
your jaw dropped, hurt flashing across your face. taesan, to his credit, stayed silent, though his gaze was glued to Leehan with a mixture of anger and disappointment
“are you serious right now?” you asked, your voice trembling. “you’re mad because taesan’s my friend? because he’s kind to me?”
leehan opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. he hated how defensive he sounded, how he was ruining everything just because he couldn’t handle his own feelings, how he couldn’t even express his feelings
“really?” you said, stepping closer to him, “do you SERIOUSLY think this is what I want? to be caught between the two of you? do you think I enjoy this?”
the blond’s silence was deafening, you shook your head
“oh my god leehan, i can’t do this anymore,” you said, your voice becoming firmer by the second, “you’re so worried about what taesan’s doing, you don’t even see me. he does. he makes me feel seen. and right now, that’s what I need.”
the words hit him like a punch to the gut. he watched as you turned to taesan, who gave him one last look—an unspoken “you did this to yourself” written all over his face—before placing a hand on your back and guiding you away
for the first time, leehan realized he wasn’t just losing you to taesan. he had lost you because of himself
9:30 pm — taesan took you to see the stars
the cold evening breeze nipped at your skin as you walked beside taesan, the streets quiet except for the occasional rustle of leaves. your sweater wasn’t doing much to shield you from the chill, and you shivered involuntarily—so embarrassing..
“youre freezing,” he murmured, stopping in his tracks. before you could protest, he was already tugging his own hoodie over his head, his white t-shirt riding up slightly to reveal a glimpse of his toned abdomen
“oh my gyatt, lord save me #ovulating..”
“taesan, seriously, i’m fine—”
“just take it,” he insisted, gently draping the hoodie over your shoulders. the warmth was immediate, and so was the lingering scent of him—clean, with a faint hint of cologne, “i’d rather me be sick than you”
as you adjusted it around yourself, his hands lightly brushed yours, lingering for a moment too long. when you looked up, his dark eyes were searching your face, his expression soft but resolute
“yn,” he said quietly, stepping closer. “there’s something I need to tell you”
you swallowed hard, already guessing where this was going…
“i didn’t plan for this,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “but i can’t keep it to myself anymore. i like you. more than a friend should”
the words hung in the air, heavy but not unwelcome. his confession felt genuine, raw, unpolished in a way that made your heart ache, this was real
“i know this is complicated,” he continued, his voice faltering slightly, “‘specially with…everything else. but I needed you to know how I feel, think you’re the only person i’ve ever been comfortable to be me around..”
you were about to respond when your phone buzzed in your pocket. the sound cut through the moment like a blade, and you fumbled to check the notification
it was a text—from your neighbor,
“hello young lady, i think someone outside your house. he’s been sitting there for a while. do you know him? he has blonde hair”
your stomach dropped
“taesan,” you said, your voice tight, “i—i need to go.”
his brows furrowed, concern flickering across his face, “everything okay?”
you nodded quickly, pecking his cheek before stepping back “yeah, i just… i’ll text you later, okay?”
“i—“ he touched his cheek, hesitated but nodded, “okay... b—be safe”
9:48 pm — your house
when you arrived home, your neighbor’s warning made sense immediately. sitting on the steps to your door, with a box and a folded envelope beside him, was leehan. his head was bowed, his hair slightly messy as though he’d been running his hands through it repeatedly
the sight of him knocked the air out of your lungs
“leehan?” you called softly, your voice carrying through the quiet night
he looked up, startled. the instant his eyes met yours, something in his expression shifted—vulnerability, regret, desperation, all tangled together
“you’re home,” he said, standing quickly and brushing off his jeans. “i—i didn’t mean to stay this long. i just… i wasn’t sure how else to do this.. confessing thingy..”
you glanced at his occupied hands, your heart pounding, “what’s this?”
“a mess, probably,” he said with a shaky laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, “i didnt know how to tell you everything i’ve been feeling without stuttering at the sight of you so I wrote it down. and the gifts… they’re just things that made me think of you… stupid, right haha..” gosh he just couldn’t stop babbling
you shook your head, overwhelmed, “donghyun…”
he stepped closer, his gaze locking onto yours, “i’m sorry, yn. for everything. for being distant, for being jealous, for making you feel like you weren’t enough when you’ve always been too much—in the best way of course”
your throat tightened as he continued, “i don’t deserve you. i know that, but i can’t let you go without even trying”
the weight of his confession pressed against your chest, and you glanced down at the box and letter again, unsure of what to say
“please,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly, “just… read the letter, and if you still don’t want me after that, i’ll leave you alone. i promise.”
10:44 pm — long after the mess..
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you sit at your desk, leehan’s playlist softly playing in the background with his letter unfolded in front of you as taesan’s hoodie draped around your shoulders. the warmth of it is a stark contrast to the chill you feel inside
leehan’s words replay in your mind: “i don’t deserve you… but i can’t let you go without trying.”
and then taesan’s quiet confession from earlier: “I like you. more than a friend should”
your chest feels heavy, torn between the two men
leehan—the boy who frustrated you to no end but also knew you better than anyone else, even in his flaws or taesan—the boy who made you feel seen, who offered a warmth that felt effortless and pure
the two paths stretch in front of you, pulling at your heart in opposite directions
* ding !! * ding !!
you jump, glancing at your phone to see two notifications:
#plottingon (leehan) : did you read the letter? it’s everything i’ve been meaning tell you.. well, some of it.. i had to rush it..
majestic shyt (taesan) : i’m sorry if the confession felt forced, i promise you i’ll tell you more whenever you’re ready, please come and talk to me if you ever feel any discomfort
your heart pounds in your ears. this is it. this is your move.
who do you choose?
do you choose to stay with kim leehan?
or..
do you choose to create a new future with han taesan?
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soombee · 1 month ago
Text
ଳ⋆。˚𖦹 caught in the current of you — 08 , there’s other fish in the sea!?
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warnings ! love triangle? bipod? angle? Idk!! ; two people liking the same person basically :3
word count , 300<
leehan’s been restless all day—the situation from yesterday, the chemistry project, and how you haven’t talked to him like how u used to in weeks. the notifications from social media didn’t help—every time he saw his best friend’s name pop up under one of your posts, his jaw clenched a little tighter, he swears he could feel his teeth get loosening up, yikes..
his day was a blur. notes from chemistry were barely legible, his lunch sat untouched, and he hadn’t been able to sit still for more than five minutes
what did i do wrong? he wondered for the millionth time
by the time he finally caved and checked twitter, it was worse than he thought. the first thing on his timeline? a picture of you, commented by? taesan.
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leehan’s jaw tightened instinctively, his thumb hovering over the notification before pressing it. the comment was simple—a playful joke that made you laugh, judging by your quick reply
what the hell was he even doing on her page?
“what’s up with you” woonhak’s voice broke through his thoughts as he dropped into the seat across from him in the library. “you’ve been restless all day.. let me guess… yn?”
he flinched, but he couldn’t deny it—not even if he wanted to.
“look,” he continued, leaning forward, “you can either keep sulking or actually talk to her,” woonhak smacked his head lightly, “she’s probably thinking you don’t even care at this point”
“what do you think i’ve been doing” leehan rubs the spot where his friend smacked
the other man rolled his eyes in frustration, “not like that dumbass.” he takes out his notes, “talk to her about your feelings”
“oh,” the blonde groaned, exhaling heavily “it’s not that easy bruh. what if…she doesn’t feel the same way? what if she was just messing w me?”
woonhak snorted, “you’re actually dumber than you look, just figure it out before someone else does”
the words hit harder than leehan wanted to admit. he didn’t need his friend to spell it out—he knew exactly who “someone else” was… how did he know either way?!
later that night, leehan sat in his room, guitar abandoned in the corner as he stared at your latest post again. it wasn’t the photo of you that got to him—it was the caption
of course taesan’s comment was there too..
leehan groaned, running a hand through his hair. his chest tightened with a mix of frustration and something he didn’t want to name. jealousy wasnt a good look on him but he couldn’t help it..
and as much as he hated it, woonhak was right. he had to figure this shit out even before taesan—or anyone else—beat him to it
time’s ticking, lover boy!
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