#taekookers are so damn weird

[here2bbtstrash]

real magic (explicit)

genre: smut, fluff, bangin’ your boss, m attempts kidfic - part of a hyung holiday collab !

pairing: namjoon x reader

summary: the holiday season has never meant anything to you beyond suffering long hours for minimum wage and awaiting the collapse of capitalism— but this year, you’d be willing to add making out with your dilf coffee shop boss to the list.

word count: 16.7k 😩

contains: ~*~explicit sexual content (after kind of a slow burn sorry lol)~*~ the "moving back to your hometown" hallmark trope, a nick jonas poster (yes that's a warning), some taekook slander in the beginning because i thought it was funny, namjoon is so buff and so dumb but so wise and so hot, moni is a little shit, namjoon is a dad!, namjoon's kid uses they/them pronouns but it's not like A Focus of the story it's just flavor, reader thinks joon has a dead wife for like one second 💀 mentions of teenage pregnancy and co-parenting, one incredibly stupid asshole customer lmao, mint choco slander (it's what namjoon would want 😌), obviously there is an employee/boss power dynamic but they talk about it and figure it out because this is namjoon and he overthinks everything, namjoon driving (he's a dad i have to assume he would get his license if he had a literal child!!!!!!!!) and a lotta sentimental holiday and life talk. here are ur sex specific warnings: making out/going to second base in a car in a parking lot (what is it with my namjoons and cars in parking lots yo), fingering, semi-drunk sex, and fuckin' rawwwww with a smidge of size and breeding kink lmao (but she's on the pill!!! no more kids!!!!!!)

A/N: hello hello hi merry crisis this damn fic is finally here lmao~ as i have been babbling on about for days i really really (REALLY) love how this namjoon turned out he's just hesjkrgdhtgk such a fucking himbo but a good dad and wise and did i mention hot aaaaaa 🫠 all the love in my gay little heart to @goodsoop for their barista wisdom and real life experiences that went into this one (the cookie story will never not make me laugh) ! and to @sailoryooons for beta reading this 50 million times and encouraging me when i was convinced it sucked ass, and also for making all the gorgeous banners for this collab 😭

which btw - be sure to go check out @gimmethatagustd & @sailoryooons & @nabiolive 's fics tooooo !!! i've loved collabing with them so very much even when we were all hashtag Going Through It, we got the whole damn hyung line you hear meeeeee 🎁🎁🎁🎁

read on AO3!

Rudely awoken by the incessant beep of your alarm, you open your eyes to find Nick Jonas staring back at you, and you sit up with a scream.

Realization washes over your sleep-addled brain in waves: first, that you aren’t actually staring at a real person. He’s just smizing on a hot pink poster, held up by some remarkably durable masking tape you stuck to the wall fifteen years ago. Second, it comes back to you that you are staring at said poster because you’ve woken up in your childhood bedroom. It’s been left untouched since you were a teenager, like a weird time capsule of all your high school obsessions.

After reaching for your phone to silence the alarm, you kick your way out from under the blankets, trying not to make eye contact with Nick, or Justin, or Zayn as you stumble to the bathroom. The circumstances of your grand return to living in your goddamn parents’ house linger like a bad taste in your mouth, one that all the tongue brushing in the world can’t remove.

It still doesn’t feel real. Taehyung, your best friend in the world since freshman year of college, kicked you out. Sure, it may have been phrased more like a gentle request, but as far as your ego is concerned, it still feels like exile. Banishment, even. The person you thought you could never be parted from made his choice, and he chose his fucking boyfriend over you.

Jungkook. You think the name with all the venom your cold, dead heart can manage as you spit toothpaste into the sink.

Jungkook, the weird, bug-eyed kid who put his toe-socked feet on your couch, drank his banana milk out of your favorite mug, and ate up all of your Samyang ramyeon because he ‘thought it was communal’. 

Jungkook, who ruined your sleep schedule nightly, either by fucking Taehyung senseless on the other side of your paper-thin apartment wall, or by blasting the same four Ariana Grande songs over and over on his bluetooth speaker and singing along in an annoyingly good voice. Either activity would go on well into the early hours of the morning, until you had to bang on the wall so hard you nearly put your fist through it.

Jungkook, whose dog once took a shit right on the floor in the middle of the kitchen.

Bam was cute enough to forgive, of course. But you can never forgive Taehyung for his betrayal. Especially when he knew you’d just been fired from your shitty coffee shop job for the stupidest reason ever, and he didn’t let that derail or even delay him. He still went ahead and delivered the killing blow.

Et tu, Taehyung? you think angrily to yourself as you stand in front of the suitcase containing as much of your closet as you could possibly fit. You still need to go back for your bigger furniture, and little things like your plates and your mugs and your silverware, which Jungkook is probably putting his grimy little fingers all over at this very moment. But until you’ve checked out of your indefinite vacation at the Nightmare Parental Hotel, there doesn’t really seem a point.

If you were less upset, you might take consolation in the fact that your parents aren’t actually here, that they’ve jaunted off to their timeshare until the new year, but you’re busy being too swallowed whole by your misery to find an ounce of joy in any piece of your current reality.

You dig through the pile of clothes until you manage to pull out something halfway decent. The first order of business now that you’ve moved back in is simple: acquire another stupid coffee shop job. You have no plans to stick around long, you just need something seasonal that will give you some meager income while you start looking for a real gig, one that is ideally not in your hometown.

Watching yourself in the mirror as you pull on a simple black blouse and your least-stained pair of jeans, you attempt to mentally dust off your interview skills. You conjure up your best fake smile and customer service voice, both of which are second-nature at this point.

Why do you want this job? ���I’m just so passionate about coming home sticky and verbally abused by caffeine-addicted assholes every night.”

What’s your biggest weakness? “Clearly it’s the fact that I’m a ray of fucking sunshine.”

Why were you terminated from your last job? “Oh, well, I attempted to get my previous employer to improve their standards of worker treatment. You see, I selfishly requested that they raise the bar a single notch above hell. Certainly won’t happen again!”

This should go well, you tell yourself, and your reflection grimaces back.

With several hours to kill before your job interview and a growing desire to avoid the weird nostalgia of your childhood that seems to lurk in every corner of your parents’ house, you decide to take a walk.

The sky is bright blue and cloudless, and though the air is brisk, it isn’t terribly windy. You tuck in your earbuds as you shut the front door behind you and pick a direction, aimless, letting your mind wander to the soundtrack of your “seasonal depression” playlist.

A whole new crop of families must have moved into your parents’ neighborhood in the years since you moved out, because the streets are more alive with kids than you can ever remember them being, even when you were a kid yourself. Bikes and scooters lay abandoned on the sidewalks between homes, and you can hear the repeated echo of a basketball dribbling on a driveway, punctuated by distant, playful screaming.

Even in the daytime, you can tell these families have spared no expense when it comes to Christmas decor: some homes have every eave outlined in string lights, some have candy cane stakes dug into the perimeter of their perfectly manicured lawns, and some have been seemingly invaded by small armies of inflatable reindeer and snowmen. You can’t help but giggle a little at the inflatable decorations that have been set to turn off during the day, the way the airless material lays limp in the grass, giving the impression of a yard strewn with dead bodies.

But you remember what it looked like when you drove in last night, everything lit up and brought to life.

Your parents definitely didn’t have inflatable lawn decorations when you were a kid, but you’d get so excited every year when your dad would drag the ladder out and spend the day stringing up the simple rainbow lights you did have. You still remember the little spark of joy you’d feel in your chest when the colors would click on after dark, the way you would run outside every night just to see them twinkle, your breath puffing steam clouds in the air, your bare feet freezing on the ice-cold driveway.

It felt like magic then. But somewhere along the way you grew up. And now that feeling’s gone. Even at night, the lights just look like… lights.

Distracted as you are by the music in your ears and thoughts of your childhood that have brought you to a standstill on the sidewalk, you don’t notice what’s happening until it’s too late. 

A blur of red and white is suddenly circling around and between your legs, and you feel something twining over your ankles, then tugging with a force that threatens to knock you off balance. As you lean forward in an attempt to right yourself, the chaos in question slows enough for you to realize it’s a fluffy white dog in a red sweater, who has excitedly tangled you up in his leash.

You manage to find the looped end of the leash and slowly get yourself unwrapped while the dog continues to pant and jump and occasionally yap at you. With your legs freed, you squat down for a proper greeting, laughing to yourself as he lifts up on his hind legs, balancing his paws on your knee to lick an enthusiastic greeting across your cheek.

“Hi, puppy,” you murmur, trying to get him to hold still long enough to read the name on his tag. A voice beats you to it.

“Moni!”

When you glance up to find Moni’s owner jogging up the sidewalk, you have to make a conscious effort to keep your own tongue in your mouth, because good lord, he is fine.

He’s tall, towering over you even once you bring yourself back up to standing, and the black workout tank and athletic shorts he’s wearing do absolutely nothing to hide the thick, well-defined muscles of his arms, chest, and thighs.

Despite his lack of clothing in the cool winter air, you can see his face and neck are slick with sweat, his white-blonde hair damp with it too. There’s even a dark patch that’s soaked his shirt at his sternum, making the firm swell of his pecs that much more apparent. It takes you an extra second to break eye contact with them, but when you do finally manage to drag your gaze up to meet his, you realize his face is just as nice of a view: honey-tan skin, full lips, and cute dimples that pop as he gives a sheepish, appreciative laugh.

“Thank you,” he says, a little breathless; his voice is deep and slightly husky in a way that makes your face grow hot. You blink stupidly at him for a few moments, your mind reeling, and then it occurs to you that you still have his dog’s leash in your hand.

“No problem,” you manage, handing the looped end back over and double-checking to make sure your ankles are still free from their entanglement. Though now that this man is holding the leash, you kind of wish they weren’t.

“Moni’s usually good about not taking off when I stop to do a circuit,” he explains, like you’re the dog owner police. It makes you wonder what kind of Karens must have moved into this neighborhood since you left it. “I don’t know why he ran, maybe he saw a squirrel or something.”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him with a smile, admiring Moni as he stretches and settles into a polite seated pose. “I like his sweater.”

“Thanks,” he laughs again. “C’mon Mon.”

You can’t help focusing on how big this guy’s hands are as he slips his fingers through the end of Moni’s leash, tugging slightly as if to encourage the dog back in the direction he came from.

Moni blinks and stays right where he is.

“You little shit,” his owner huffs under his breath, and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep from laughing. You distantly realize you should probably leave them to it and continue on your walk, but this is too entertaining to turn away from now. Your hot neighbor tries one more futile attempt to get Moni to move, then seems to give up entirely.

He stoops down with a low grunt of effort that makes your core flutter as he grabs the fluffy dog and hoists him up in his arms. You try to force yourself to stop noticing the way his biceps flex, the fact that the muscles of his arms are nearly bigger than your head.

“Thanks again,” he says with a final grateful smile, and your only response is to swallow hard and stand there like an idiot as he turns and carries his spoiled dog back home.

When you arrive for your interview, you’re delighted to discover that Indigo Coffee is nothing like your last job. It’s warm and bright, with large picture windows that flood the space in sunlight, and there’s a cozy personal touch to it, the likes of which you’d certainly never see in your former corporate shell of a workplace. The sitting area is dotted with live edge wood tables and mismatched chairs. There are an array of framed paintings on the walls that look handmade in a good way, simple yet bold brush-stroke lines in a deep blue color scheme. And, you realize as your eyes linger, the shop is absolutely overflowing with plants: in simple clay pots lined up along the windows, free-standing between tables, and tucked into bookshelves placed artfully throughout the space. 

You step closer to inspect one as you wait on your interviewer and are pleased to see that it’s real, that they all are— no waxy fake leaves jammed into a thick block of cement, but real greenery sprouted in real dirt, deep brown soil gone soft from what must have been a recent watering. These are plants someone cares for, coaxed and kept alive by someone’s time and patience and love. The thought makes you smile a little despite yourself.

There’s still fucking Christmas music playing, but you figure that’s inescapable this time of year.

“Are you here for the interview?” someone asks over your shoulder. As you turn away from the plant, you wonder if you’re imagining that the voice in question sounds slightly familiar, and then you find yourself once again staring up at a fine-ass man with white-blonde hair and a sweet pair of dimples.

He’s clearly showered since your last encounter, and is now slightly more covered up in a pair of faded jeans and a gray-green flannel thrown over a black shirt emblazoned with bold white lettering: Protect Trans Kids.

“Oh.” Moni’s owner blinks back at you, and the shock on his face is so apparent that a giggle escapes your lips before you can stop it. “Uh, hi again.”

“Hi,” you echo, equally flustered, before realizing you failed to answer his initial question. “Oh, yeah. Yes. I am. The interview. I’m— that’s me.” So well-spoken, you mentally kick yourself.

One dimple deepens slightly as he extends a hand. “Kim Namjoon. Owner of Indigo Coffee. And the world’s least obedient dog, as you saw earlier.”

You offer your best handshake in return and a smile that you surprisingly don’t have to force as you give Namjoon your name. He gestures to a table in the corner, and you each pull back a chair to have a seat. You try to banish any potential horny thoughts from your brain, but shifting into interview mode proves difficult as he rests his large hands on the table in front of him, drumming idly along to the horribly cheery music.

You manage to tear your gaze away from Namjoon’s fingers when he speaks again. “If it’s cool with you, we can just chat a little? I’m not so good at conducting formal interviews. Too inauthentic.”

It’s like you can feel some of the tension release from your shoulders. “I— yeah. That sounds great.”

“Cool,” he nods, and you try to ignore the rush of heat up your neck at the intensity of his stare. Professional, be professional. “So I saw on your resume that it looks like your last few jobs were out of town. Did you just move here?”

“Moved back,” you say quickly. “Yeah. I grew up here, actually.”

Namjoon’s eyes widen a little in clear interest. “Really? What brings you back?”

You purse your lips as you consider how to phrase it. “My life… kind of fell apart. So. I moved in with my parents for a bit. Like a winner.” His dimples pop when he smiles at your joke, and you drop your gaze to the table. “Just trying to figure out what’s next, and find something seasonal in the meantime.”

“Well, we could certainly use the help,” Namjoon admits. When you chance a glance up, there’s a look on his face like he’s choosing his next words carefully. “I saw in your application that you were terminated from your last position.” He leans in, lowering his voice slightly as he continues. “I’m gonna be honest, I hate that we even ask that question. But can you tell me a bit about what happened?”

You keep your stare fixed on the wood grain in front of you as you try to stay calm. “Well, if I can be honest too...” Squeezing your eyes shut, you tell yourself to just say it. “I was fired for trying to unionize.”

“Oh.” Namjoon sounds surprised, but you can’t manage to look at him. “Really?” You nod slowly, biting down on your bottom lip. “That’s— fucking illegal.”

That makes your gaze snap back up to meet his. His brow is furrowed slightly, a muscle in his jaw pulled tight.

“Yeah,” you say belatedly. “Yeah, I know. They made up a bunch of fake excuses as to why I was fired, but I knew what it really was. It was because I wanted them to actually pay us what we were worth, and hire more workers so we weren’t being scheduled to death. And I was getting everyone else riled up too, and I guess it scared them.”

Namjoon sits back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. “Huh. Man. Well, I’m sorry that happened to you.”

It takes you a second to process what you’re hearing. Union has always been a scary word for any person in upper management you’ve previously encountered. You hadn’t expected this to be so… easy. For him to understand, or sympathize. “I— yeah. I am too.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Namjoon continues quickly, “I think it’s great, what you tried to do. I’m very pro-union.” He pauses for a moment, his face twisting slightly in thought. “I mean, admittedly, we don’t have one here. Granted, there are only five of us. I should probably ask, though, if they want one.”

You can’t quite hide your smile. “I’m gonna take a guess that you probably treat your employees pretty well as-is.”

“I try,” he says with a shake of his head. His eyes meet yours again. “So, here’s the deal. You have a ton of experience, and with holiday time off and a few people out sick, I’m super understaffed right now. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, and hopefully you feel like you can come to me if you have any issues, without fearing retaliation.”

You blink slowly, and he must be able to read the disbelief on your face. “What I’m saying is I’m offering you the seasonal position,” he clarifies. “Is that— do you, uh, accept?”

“Yes.” The word is chased by a dazed laugh, and Namjoon’s dimples resurface around a small smile.

“Cool. I told you I’m bad at interviews,” he huffs, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. You try to ignore the swell of his bicep, clearly visible even beneath his bulky flannel. “I know this is a lot to ask, but. Is there any chance you can start, like, right now? Because Jimin’s shift ends in…” He tilts a little, fishing his phone from the front pocket of his jeans, and his mouth drops open in surprise when he gets a glimpse at the time.

“Oh, shit,” Namjoon murmurs, and then he raises his voice to call across the mostly empty store. “Jimin-ah! I’m so sorry!”

You turn around, your gaze landing on the barista leaned up against the counter next to the register. His dyed-gray hair dusts over his eyes, which pull into crescent moons as he laughs. “It’s cool. I knew you were almost done. But I’m gonna clock out now, if she’s good?”

“Yeah,” you answer, turning back to Namjoon. “Yeah, I can start now.”

The two of you move behind the counter, and you sweep your hair up out of your face while Namjoon starts to go through a basic run-down of where everything is located. The overhead bell tinkles as Jimin shoulders the front door open, and he lifts a hand over his head in parting.

“See you after the holidays!”

“Alright,” Namjoon says as he waves to Jimin, a little breathless from having rambled on for the better part of several minutes. “That was a lot. Do you want to just start on register? I feel like that should be easy enough, and I can train you on everything as people come in, since it’s pretty dead right now.”

You shrug. “Works for me.”

Within half an hour, there’s a line out the door, and Namjoon has managed to spill espresso grounds all over his shoes for a second time.

“Ah, shit,” he groans, taking a step back. “Sorry. Been a minute since I’ve had to be back here.”

“It’s okay,” you try to reassure him, but you can see from the faces of the customers who have been waiting on their drinks for several minutes— including one who’s had hers remade three times, all of them incorrect— that it is very much not okay. You certainly lack the people skills to smooth over any of Namjoon’s mistakes, and you can feel a stress-induced eye twitch starting to flare up, brought on by Kelly Clarkson’s incessant yuletide belting.

You give your boss five more minutes, wherein he scalds his hand on the milk steamer, forgets about a cookie in the warmer until it’s burnt entirely black, and nearly turns the blender on with the lid off, before you finally intervene.

“Hey, Namjoon?” You do your best to keep your expression pleasant when he glances over at you, wiping at his brow with the back of his hand. “Maybe we should switch?”

“A-are you sure?” he stammers, apparently torn between wanting to be a good boss and a clear desire to just take the L. “I feel bad, this is literally your first shift.”

“I think I can handle it,” you reassure him, lowering your voice a little. “Let me take care of the drinks, and you can do your… endearing golden retriever thing. Keep the people entertained.”

Color blooms in the apples of his cheeks as his dimples make a brief appearance. “Oh, okay. Can do. Just let me know if you need help.”

You can’t imagine a universe where his clumsiness could in any way be considered helpful, but you keep that thought to yourself as you smile at him. At least he’s cute.

Things improve dramatically once your roles are reversed: as you expected, Namjoon is far more charismatic than he is coordinated, and he chats endlessly with the people waiting on their drinks, hardly pausing long enough to take a breath, while you scramble around trying to get your bearings in a new environment. The steady stream of customers doesn’t let up for the rest of the evening, until the last few finally trickle out of the store a few minutes after close, and you waste no time locking the door behind them with a sigh of relief.

You spin around, letting your back thud against the door for a moment as you watch Namjoon fight with a broom and dustpan in a futile attempt to get espresso dust out of the grout between the tiles. There’s a dull ache starting to thud in your skull, and it’s only deepened by the shrill opening notes of another fucking a cappella song.

“Namjoon?” you ask as you cross toward the counter, and his head instantly snaps up. “Do you think we could maybe turn off the Christmas music?”

“Oh, sure.” He’s already fumbling to grab his phone, and he taps a few buttons until the music suddenly switches, a soft voice starting to croon over an old school beat.

“Thanks,” you say, and you can’t help the pity smile that pulls up your mouth when he returns to his useless task. “I think the grout might be a lost cause, but I can go ahead and mop whenever you’re ready.”

He rights himself with a defeated sigh, nodding his head to the storage closet in the back. You follow his lead to retrieve the mop, then set about filling up the bucket with water and cleaning solution. Namjoon’s voice floats in from the front of the shop as he busies himself with his own closing tasks.

“Imagine smokin’ weed in the street without cops harassin’ / Imagine goin’ to court with no trial / Lifestyle cruisin’ blue Bahama waters / No welfare supporters, more conscious of the way we raise our daughters...”

You’re laughing a little as you roll the bucket out, starting at the door to work your way back. “Is this… Nas?”

He glances up, like he’s just remembered other people exist in the world. “Yeah, sorry. I can turn it off.”

“No, no,” you say quickly when he starts to reach for his phone again. “This is good. Much better than Pentatonix. I’m just… you really know every word.”

Namjoon shrugs, clearly embarrassed. “He’s my favorite.”

The revelation surprises you, and you pause to think as you pull the mop back and forth over the tile floor. It didn’t even occur to you that Namjoon would have a favorite kind of music, apart from the soft elevator muzak you imagine must play on a steady loop in his brain, given the way he fumbles through life.

“I actually wanted to be a rapper,” his voice comes back, and you look up again, your interest piqued. “When I was younger. But you know. Life had other plans.”

“Ah yes, the rapper to coffee shop owner pipeline,” you muse, and he barks a laugh that you wish you didn’t find so hot. Shaking your head, you force yourself to look back down at the espresso-studded tile, doing your best to shove your attraction aside and not think about it. He’s your boss, dumbass.

Still, it’s hard to ignore, particularly as he continues to rap along to each song that comes on, his voice deeper and huskier than you’ve heard it thus far in casual conversation. He doesn’t miss a word, and you can’t deny that it’s impressive. And sexy. Fuck.

Once the floor has been successfully mopped and everything else is put back together, you hop up onto the counter to wait for the tile to dry, and your gaze lingers over Namjoon’s large hands as he cashes out the register. He flips through the bills in time to the music, still humming under his breath as he goes, and you do your best to hold in your laugh when he inevitably loses count and has to start over from the beginning. Thankfully the second attempt sticks, and he smiles proudly to himself as he zips everything up into the deposit bag.

“First shift down,” he announces, as if you might have forgotten, and then his eyes find yours and you swear your breath gets stuck in your throat. “How do you feel?”

It only occurs to you now how close he’s standing to you, and with the way your legs are casually dangling over the edge of the counter, it wouldn’t take much for him to step between them. And god, he’s so damn tall, you’re practically eye-to-eye.

“Uh,” you manage, your mouth suddenly gone dry. “Good. I feel good.”

“That’s good,” he answers, his voice dipping into that throaty tone again. You find yourself wondering absentmindedly if maybe Namjoon has a customer service voice, too, and then for the briefest flash of a moment, his gaze flits from your eyes to your lips and back again. It’s so quick, you can’t be sure it even really happened.

You tell yourself it’s just your exhausted post-shift brain seeing things that aren’t there, wanting this fine-ass man to be into you, too.

A sudden bang on the front door makes you flinch so hard, you come dangerously close to kneeing Namjoon in the crotch. He takes a large step back as you whip around to look over your shoulder, only to see a kid’s face pressed to the glass, framed by two small hands. You’ve never been great at telling the age of children on sight, but this one looks like… maybe a middle schooler?

“Whose fucking kid is that?” you say automatically, blinking, dumbfounded. Namjoon’s laugh is a low rumble behind you.

“That would be mine.”

It takes several days for the shock to wear off. Your boss has a kid. Kim “could’ve burnt the building down with a single cookie” Namjoon is at least partially responsible for keeping another human being alive. Which means you have a crush… on a father.

A father who also happens to be your boss.

You try not to think about any of it.

There’d been brief introductions when you left the shop that first night, but all you’d really managed to glean was the kid’s name, Sol, and their pronouns. As someone who is historically terrible with children, you’d excused yourself the minute Namjoon locked the front door, after what felt like an eternity spent watching him pat each of his pockets twice before he finally managed to find his keys.

“I hope it wasn’t weird,” your boss says out of nowhere in the middle of your next shift, during a much-needed moment of peace after the morning rush. “For you to meet Sol like that. It’s just been hard, since their mom, uh…”

Namjoon trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished. You glance up, eyes widening as you put the pieces together.

“Oh my god,” you breathe. “I’m so sorry.”

His gaze meets yours, and it’s like you can see the wheels in his head turning before he catches up. “No, no,” he says quickly, and then he starts to laugh. “Wow, I really did not start that sentence well. She’s not dead. She just got married, and she’s on her honeymoon for most of December. The logistics have been hard, is what I meant.”

An embarrassed heat creeps up your neck, and your elbows thud against the countertop as you press your face into your hands, attempting to muffle your own laughter. “In my defense,” you groan, “you really made it sound like you had a dead wife.”

“Not dead! She’s fine!” Namjoon’s dimples are as prominent as you’ve ever seen them when you peek up at him from your full-body cringe. “Very much alive, very much not my wife.” The muscles in his arms flex as he crosses them over his chest, leaning up against the counter next to the register. “Never was, actually.”

“Really?” you answer automatically, your damned curiosity getting the better of you.

He nods, his voice a little more serious when he continues, rambling on in the way that you’ve already started to suspect is his default setting, talking as if to fill empty space. “We were seventeen when we got pregnant. I knew we were young then, but I don’t think I really realized. Now that I’m almost thirty, I know: seventeen is fucking young.”

The line of his jaw tightens, thoughtful, as his gaze sweeps over the floor. “I thought I wanted to marry her, or at least felt obligated to. Like it was the right thing to do, but. We didn’t have any money, and then it all got so hectic after Sol was born. Didn’t even take a year for us to realize it wasn’t gonna work, not for us.”

You blink, trying to take in all the new information. “That sounds really hard.”

“It was,” Namjoon admits. “But we were both on the same page about it. That no matter what, Sol had to come first.” He glances up with a shrug. “It’s all good now. She’s a great co-parent, and her new husband is really good for her. And… well, I have Indigo.”

The tinkling of the bell at the front door snaps you out of a daze, makes you realize you’ve been staring at him, dumbfounded. You do your best to shoot Namjoon a soft smile, and to ignore the pang in your chest as he turns to greet the customer that’s just wandered in, already starting to babble on about the weather.

You find yourself more grateful for Namjoon’s presence with each passing shift, in a way that you try to convince yourself is thoroughly platonic. Between fairly steady work and his very steady chatter, your time spent in the warm, sunny space of Indigo turns out to be a good distraction from your own miserable excuse for a life. The repetitive motions of making drink after drink are oddly comforting, and you have to admit, Namjoon really is good with the customers.

“Peppermint mocha to go.”

You do your best to follow up the sentence with a polite smile as you set a drink down for the customer who has done nothing but scowl at you the whole time you were making it. The silent prayer you’ve sent out to the universe that he’ll take whatever personal problem he has elsewhere and leave you alone has clearly gone unanswered.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he snaps, and you can feel your shoulders creep up towards your ears in anticipation of nothing good. Here we fucking go.

You blink twice, trying to keep your service persona engaged. “I’m sorry, is that not what you ordered?” It is, you know it is, you heard him say it.

“No, that’s mine,” the man quickly responds, reaching out to snatch the cup in a motion that makes you flinch. “But do you hear this fucking song?”

The honest answer is no: at this point the ever-present Christmas music might as well be white noise, so you have to make a conscious effort to tune back in and listen. It’s a few seconds, and then you pick up on the melody. “…Last Christmas?”

“Uh, yeah,” he continues, explaining like you’re stupid. “The original. Last Christmas by Wham!” When it’s clear you still aren’t putting the pieces together, he scoffs in pure frustration. “You just made me lose Whamageddon! I’ve won every year for the last five years, I can’t believe you would even put this on your fucking playlist!”

Your face pulls into an incredulous grimace before you can think to control it. “Uh, I’m sorry, but I didn’t make the—”

He cuts you off. “First off, I don’t need the fucking attitude. And surely you’re at least capable of checking what songs are on there, right? That’s not too advanced for you to handle?”

You didn’t even hear Namjoon walk up from the back office, but he’s suddenly stepping in front of you, and you’re more than glad to move back and let him handle this dude before you end up in jail. “Woah, woah, alright,” Namjoon interjects, his voice loud enough to carry. “What’s going on?”

The man beats you to it. “I’m trying to file a legitimate complaint and she’s rolling her fucking eyes and getting an attitude with me!”

“It’s the song,” you explain briefly, trying to keep everything about your expression neutral. “He’s mad that we’re… playing Wham.”

Namjoon’s face twists in an expression that you would find funny if you weren’t so fucking livid, one that you’re pretty sure is the mirror image of your own reaction minutes earlier. “The song? Seriously?”

You can see the guy scrambling, clearly starting to get embarrassed at his own dramatics. “Alright, I don’t have time for this. I guess I just need to take my business elsewhere, because this is ridiculous. What ever happened to the customer is always right?”

Namjoon goes silent for a minute, and you try to ignore the way the look on his face makes your pulse quicken, thudding brightly in the hollow of your neck. His voice is deadly serious when he speaks again. “I appreciate that you’re upset, but if you’re going to look my employee in the face, after she just performed a service for you, and disrespect her like that? Over a fucking song? Nah, I’m not gonna tolerate it. Maybe the next time you want someone to make you a toothpaste drink, you should take your ass to Starbucks.”

It takes every ounce of strength you have to keep the reaction off your face until the asshole has stormed out the front door, nasty drink in hand. As the bell finally tinkles to signal his departure, you collapse forward, just barely catching yourself on the counter so you don’t crumple straight down to the floor.

“Oh my god.” Your laugh of disbelief comes out more like a groan, at the ridiculous complaint and your boss’ insanely attractive comeback alike. “I fucking hate this time of year.”

“Hey.” The word is punctuated by Namjoon’s shoulder bumping into yours, and you look back up at him, still laughing a little at your own misery. His eyes search yours, sincere. “Assholes are assholes no matter what season it is. I’m sure that guy finds plenty of things to complain about the other eleven months of the year, too. Don’t let him ruin it for you.”

You can’t help rolling your eyes, if only because you can do it freely now, without a man standing over you and yelling about your ‘bad attitude’. “I guess,” you huff. “And thank you.”

Namjoon shakes his head, like it’s nothing. “Chin up, okay?”

The two of you breeze through closing that night, familiar enough to fall into a steady routine now. You’re wiping everything down behind the counter and humming along to Tupac when Namjoon’s voice drags you back out of your thoughts in a way you’ve already grown accustomed to.

“You know…”

You glance up, only to realize that he’s started to flip chairs on top of tables to clear the floor, and is grabbing them two at a time, one in each hand. The image makes you a little dizzy, and you tell yourself to focus on his words, not his biceps.

“I think we make a pretty good team,” he concludes.

“Yeah,” you breathe, trying to keep your composure at the unexpected compliment. “I was thinking the same thing. And thanks again for, you know. Handling that guy.”

Namjoon shrugs, like it’s nothing. “Hey, you’re doing me a favor, taking this seasonal job. I’m not about to let anyone fuck with you.”

You bite down on a smile as you head towards the back to grab the mop, and then you hear a loud bang on the front door— it’s another sound you’ve gotten used to in your brief time at Indigo. There’s the click of the deadbolt, chased by the tinkling overhead bell and Namjoon’s chiding voice. “Homie, if you break my door I’m gonna make you get a job to pay me back for it.”

“You think I don’t know about child labor laws?” you hear Sol retort, clearly not intimidated, and the attitude in their voice has you biting back a laugh.

Wheeling the mop bucket out of the storage closet, you glance up to see Namjoon jut his chin toward the large front window, indicating Sol to take a seat on the ledge. “Feet off the floor, she’s tryna clean.”

Sol complies, plopping down in the window with their eyes glued to their phone as Namjoon disappears back toward the office to grab his things. You watch as Sol pulls their knees into their chest so their chunky black boots clear the tile, and you can’t help noticing that said boots are adorned with oversized silver bat-shaped buckles, reflecting the amber streetlight gleam that leaks through the window.

“I like your boots,” you say, more to yourself than Sol, half expecting them to be so engrossed in TikTok that they don’t even hear you.

But to your surprise, Sol looks up.

“Thanks,” they say, glancing at their feet. “I just got them. I’m in my post-hardcore era right now.”

The statement is delivered without a trace of irony, and you do your best to hold in another amused giggle as you respond. “Wow, you are… so much cooler than I was when I was your age.”

Sol seems to consider this for a moment, then shrugs. “I mean, you didn’t have the internet back then, right?”

The question hits you like a train, and you have to pause and press a hand over your heart at the impact. “Okay, ouch, I’m not that old.” They grimace apologetically, and you lean up against the mop handle in thought. “But the internet definitely wasn’t like it is now. The only social media that really existed was Myspace, and my parents wouldn’t let me make one. I mostly just used the internet to, like, play RuneScape.”

“Oh shit,” Sol remarks, sounding remarkably like Namjoon in the process. “You played old school?!”

It’s like you can feel your bones crumbling to dust inside your body, and you wince as you resume dragging the mop over the tile. “Hey, back then it was the only kind of RuneScape we had. But yes, you can consider me a… founding father of that game.”

“That’s cool!” they exclaim, sounding so genuine it makes your head spin. When did RuneScape become cool again? “My friends and I play old school all the time. It’s the best, for real.”

You shake your head in disbelief as you continue to mop, and a long pause settles between you, with Sol’s interest clearly returning to their phone.

Fuck, you think to yourself, what else do kids even talk about? Marvel movies? It’s like your mind has gone totally blank, unable to conjure up a single topic of conversation, and you practically huff out an audible sigh of relief when their voice breaks the silence again.

“I think my dad has been happier since you started working here.”

The mop nearly slips out of your hands entirely, and you glance up, eyes wide. “I— really?”

Sol nods, playing absentmindedly with the strings of their black hoodie, then bringing the end of one up to their mouth to gently chew on. “It’s a theory I have. A game theory. I plan to ask additional follow-up questions tonight.”

At this, you can’t help but laugh. “Well, I’m sure your investigation will be very thorough.”

There’s a flash of a dimple in Sol’s cheek, like the mirror image of their dad. “I can tell you what he says, if you want.”

You wonder how telling your own smile is. “I mean… I can’t say I’m not curious.” You’re distantly aware of the sound of the office door closing, chased by Joon whistling to himself, and you lower your voice conspiratorially as you drop the mop back into the bucket. “I look forward to hearing what you find out.”

Monday morning, when you wake up to the omnipresent smize of Nick Jonas, you can’t help smiling back. 

You made it through your first week of work, and it wasn’t even that torturous. And best of all, Namjoon reminded you the night before that Indigo is closed on Mondays, which gives you an entire day to spend as you please. A real day off, which was truly unheard of at your last job, where you’d spend your non-scheduled days still anticipating an incoming emergency text asking you to cover a shift last-minute. More often than not, you’d end up working after all.

“But not today,” you announce to Nick.

A grand plan has already started to form in your head, one that involves a party size bag of Hot Cheetos and all eight episodes of The Fabulous, and yet. There’s a lingering urge at the back of your brain that you can’t quite ignore. With all the day-off energy you can muster, you drag yourself out of bed and tug on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, then shuffle into the bathroom to at least make yourself halfway decent.

You’re just going for a quick walk around the block to get some fresh air, you tell yourself. That’s all. Certainly no other reason.

It’s only a few minutes after you step out your front door that a fluffy white blur nearly collides with your shins, and when you stoop down to lift Moni into your arms, you once again can’t keep the smile off your face. Huh, who could’ve seen this coming?

But when you glance up, there’s no hot buff man jogging up the sidewalk after his dog. In fact, you realize as you look back at the ball of fluff in your arms, he isn’t wearing a leash or harness at all, just another cute sweater.

“Are you even supposed to be out here?” you ask Moni. His only answer is to drag his tongue up the side of your face.

You shift him a little in your arms so you can fumble for the tag attached to his collar, and thankfully, there’s an address listed. It takes you a second to get your bearings in the neighborhood, having not lived here for close to a decade, but it eventually comes back to you where the listed street is, and you start to walk. Moni is already blinking sleepily in your arms, clearly enjoying his preferred mode of transportation.

A laugh bubbles up in your chest as you approach the house in question— even if you hadn’t had Moni’s tag to guide you, finding his home would’ve been easy enough as soon as you passed this street, because you can hear old school hip-hop bumping through a speaker despite still being several houses down the block. You suppose Namjoon can get away with it during the day, when all the neighborhood kids are still in school.

As you make your way up the driveway, you realize the music is actually coming from behind the house, and when you follow the path that leads around back, you spot the culprit: a simple wooden-slat fence surrounds the yard, and the gate has been left wide open.

Before you can even make it over the threshold, a familiar voice reaches your ears, sounding much closer than the music. “Ah, shit.”

Namjoon comes barreling through the open gate so fast he practically runs you over, and Moni yaps, like he’s annoyed at being jostled as you quickly try to stumble out of his owner’s path.

“Oh. Uh, hi.”

You wonder if you’ll ever be able to take in how shock looks on Namjoon’s features without giggling a little. Today is certainly not that day. It’s just so endearing, the way his eyes widen and his mouth pulls into a perfect o-shape.

“Hi,” you breathe out around your laughter, trying to ignore the heat that flushes into your face when his dimples appear in return. “I think I found something that belongs to you.”

With a wave of his hand and several profuse thank yous, you follow Namjoon back through the gate, and wait until he firmly shuts it behind you before letting Moni down to trot off across the yard. It’s only now that you take Namjoon in properly: he’s in a gray hoodie under a pair of denim overalls, both of which are splattered artfully with paint in a variety of colors.

“I was just in my studio,” he explains, tipping his head toward the small shed in the yard, which you quickly realize is also the source of the music that led you here. “Doin’ some art. Do you, uh… wanna see?”

“Yeah, okay,” you answer with a nod.

“Fair warning, I’m really bad at it,” he calls over his shoulder as he leads you in the open studio door, raising his voice to be heard over the music. He reaches for his phone, propped up in the windowsill, to turn the volume down a few notches.

There’s an easel up against the far wall holding what must be his current project, a half-finished scene that you realize upon closer inspection is thousands of tiny dots of color, painstakingly blotted onto the canvas to form a mountain landscape at a distance. A few more pieces that he’s already completed have been leaned up against another wall to dry, one featuring an abstract array of featherlight brushstrokes, and another where the paint’s been globbed on in thick layers.

Namjoon is talking a mile a minute as you inspect the canvases. “I thought maybe I’d do cyanotypes today, but it’s not sunny enough, and I’ve made that mistake before. I’m really into texture right now, so I’m trying out some different techniques with paint. I want to get better at pointillism, but it’s a lot harder than you’d think it would be. ‘Cause it’s just dots, right? But you have to be able to see the forest for the trees, too.”

“These are amazing,” you finally manage to murmur, and to your surprise, the compliment actually renders him silent. When you turn back over your shoulder to look at him, he’s glancing down, almost like he’s embarrassed.

“Thanks. But I just do it for fun. ‘Cause I love art.”

“I can tell,” you say, and when he looks up, you offer him a smile you hope reads as encouraging. “Did you make the art at work, too?”

He nods, still sheepish, and that answer also surprises you. You recall thinking on your first day that the paintings hung on the walls looked handmade, but it never crossed your mind that they might have been made by Namjoon’s hands. Maybe because you’ve grown so accustomed to seeing him drop and break things, you haven’t ever considered him as also capable of… creation.

And yet, here he is. Proving you wrong.

“Sorry,” Namjoon’s voice makes you refocus on him, and your brow furrows in confusion at the unexpected apology. “This is literally your one day away from me and here I am, taking up your time. Thanks again for bringing Moni back.”

“It’s okay.” You shrug. “Don’t have much going on today, honestly. I never really know what to do with myself when I’m not working. Which I’m aware is very sad.”

“Well, uh,” Namjoon starts, and when he takes a single step closer, you swear you feel something flutter in your stomach— or maybe lower. “Sol’s got a half-day today, since it’s the last day before break, so I’m picking them up in a bit. And we were gonna go on a hike, probably take Moni too. You’re welcome to join us, if you’d like?”

Your eyes widen at the invitation. “Oh. That sounds great. I mean, if you’re sure I wouldn’t be intruding?”

He shakes his head, the corner of his mouth pulling up just so. “Nah. I actually think Sol really likes you. At least, they wouldn’t stop asking questions about you at dinner last night.”

“Is that right?” You do your best to keep your expression neutral.

Namjoon drives far enough north that there’s actually snow on the ground when you climb out of his front seat. You shove your hands into the pockets of your jacket as you follow him across the gravel parking lot towards the trailhead, a few paces behind Sol and Moni.

Sol shoots an expression of pure mischief at you over their shoulder, and then immediately starts to sprint up the marked path through the woods, Moni easily keeping up.

“Bye, nerds!” you hear them call before they disappear between the trees.

“Stay on the trail!” Namjoon shouts back, sounding as dad-like as you’ve ever heard him, and you can’t help but laugh. The two of you quicken your steps slightly to not fall too far behind, tracking the set of boot and paw-prints they’ve left to mark their trail.

For a moment, it’s silent between you, save the crunching of snow underfoot. It’s nice, being out in nature like this, time spent with Namjoon where you aren’t suffering through Christmas music and ungrateful customers. Where you can just… breathe. It makes you feel a little less sorry for yourself, a little less fixated on your own miserable life.

You glance over at him as that strange seasonal melancholy starts to settle into your bones again. “Are the holidays… better? With a kid?”

Namjoon makes a face, like he’s surprised by the question. “I mean, they’re definitely different. Then again, it’s been a long time since I did the holidays without a kid— not since I was a kid myself. What do you mean by better?”

Self-consciousness washes over you, your gaze drifting down to the path beneath your feet. “I don’t know, there’s just… I can’t shake this weird feeling now that I’m back home. This time of year used to be so exciting for me when I was Sol’s age. Everything felt special. Magical. But now I’m back here, and nothing’s really changed, except me. But I just keep feeling like the magic is gone. It’s… sad.”

He nods, taking a moment before he responds, and he’s chuckling softly to himself when he finally does. “You know, it’s kinda funny. When Sol was younger I actually felt a lot of stress this time of year. I couldn’t really enjoy it, because I was too busy trying to make sure that they had the best holiday I could possibly give them. That they didn’t feel like they were getting any less, since, you know. Their mom and I aren’t together. It’s funny that you bring up the magic, because I put a lot of pressure on myself to make that magic happen. But now that they’re a little older, I don’t know, it’s different.”

“Different how?” you prompt.

A dimple deepens as he hesitates. “It’s gonna sound corny. But really, I realized that the holidays aren’t about the gifts, or the decorations, or every little thing going perfect. You can make yourself sick over that shit, and I did, but kids don’t really care about it.” He pauses, and for a second you think that might be it, but then he keeps going, eyes fixed on the towering pine trees ahead of you.

“The year I opened Indigo, I had sank so much fucking money into it that I was broke. Broke broke. I couldn’t afford a single gift, a tree, not even a turkey. Sol and I sat on the floor of my shitty apartment and ate Chapagetti and watched Friends. And I felt like the biggest fucking failure imaginable. And then you know what happened?”

“What?”

“Sol turned to me, and they said, ‘This is the best Christmas ever, because we get to hang out, just the two of us.’” He blinks a few times, like he’s trying to ward off tears, and his voice comes back slightly less steady than before. “I still don’t know if they said that because they really meant it, or if they could just tell that I needed to hear it. But either way, I thought to myself: how fucking lucky am I, to have such a great kid? Like what did I ever do to deserve them? I still feel that way.”

Namjoon shrugs, as if to shake off the emotion. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s not helpful to you, but. I just see it differently now. It’s not about the what, or the how. It’s about the who. Spending this time of year with the people you care about, and making sure they know you do. That’s the real magic.”

You realize the trail has carried you up the sloping hillside, and is now flattening out at the edge of a clearing, where you can see Moni chasing Sol through the snow, can hear their high-pitched laughter ringing out in the wide-open air.

When you turn back to Namjoon, he’s already looking at you.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel the magic right now. I didn’t either, for a long time. But it does come back, I believe that. It’ll come back for you, too.”

You blink up at him, overwhelmed by his willingness to be so honest, and by the wisdom of his words. “I— thank you,” you finally manage to say.

Namjoon doesn’t answer, just glances up to where Sol and Moni are still playing, and your gaze follows his out over the snow-covered field. Sol is dusting off a sizable stick, and they call out for Moni to fetch before launching it into a dramatic arc, high up in the air.

Moni watches it go, entirely disinterested, then settles onto his haunches in the snow with a yawn.

“You’re so bad at being a dog!” Sol shouts, and that’s enough to make you and Namjoon both dissolve into laughter. They look up at the sound, hands-on-hips, before yelling again, this time in your direction. “My dad said he has a crush on you!”

Your jaw drops open, and Namjoon’s eyes are wide as you’ve ever seen them when you look up at him.

“Damn, dude, you said you were gonna be chill about it!” he exclaims, and you press a hand to your mouth as a fresh wave of giggles overtakes you. Given how long Namjoon’s legs are, it only takes him a few strides to catch up to Sol. You stay a tentative distance behind him, but still close enough to be able to make out their conversation.

“Uncle Hobi says you need to be bolder with women,” Sol chides, matter-of-fact.

“Uncle Hobi says a lot of shit,” Namjoon mutters under his breath.

“He painted my nails,” Sol raises their voice, clearly talking more to you than to their dad, and holds up a hand for you to see, waggling their fingers proudly.

“They look great,” you call out in response.

Namjoon turns back to you as you step in closer, then juts his chin to a bench at the other side of the clearing. “Sit with me for a sec?”

With a nod, you follow him over, and he wipes the metal surface free of snow with his sleeve before gesturing for you to have a seat. For a moment, the two of you sit silently and watch Sol, who is already busying themself with building a snowperson while Moni slow-blinks encouragingly from a distance.

Namjoon’s words chase a heavy sigh. “I’m gonna be real with you, despite the fact that my child just stole my thunder. I like you a lot.”

Your heart swells in your chest, threatening to burst. “I-I like you too,” you stammer back immediately. “Have definitely been harboring my own crush… basically since I started working at Indigo.”

When you turn to look at him, it surprises you a little that he isn’t smiling. You can see a muscle working in his jaw, like he’s nervous.

“That’s the thing,” he finally relents. “Work. I don’t— I hadn’t really planned to tell you how I was feeling, or act on it. Because I’m your boss, and that means, you know. There’s a power dynamic there. And it would be… unethical of me to blur the lines like that, by getting involved with my employee. I wanted you to come out with us today because it was a chance for you and I to be equals, outside of work, but it’s not like that dynamic just goes away, you know? And I feel a little guilty about it now. Because I really like being around you so much, but I just. We can’t. It wouldn’t be right. Not while you’re working for me.”

You stare down at the snow under your boots as you take in his words, and you can’t help it. Try as you might to sit there and take his worries seriously, laughter flutters out of you before you can hold it in.

“What?” Namjoon asks, and you shake your head, trying to compose yourself.

“I really, really appreciate that you gave it so much thought,” you say, willing your voice to stay even. “I mean it.”

“It’s weighed really heavy on me, if I’m honest,” he says solemnly, and you glance over to see him staring into the middle distance, like he’s deep in contemplation.

Before you can stop yourself, you’re reaching out to where his hand rests on the bench between you and covering it with your own.

“Namjoon?” you ask softly, and it seems to snap him out of his trance enough to look back at you.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” you preface. “But if I have to choose between you and my stupid seasonal coffee shop job?” The smile starts to flicker over your face again. “Then I quit. I quit right now.”

“Oh thank god,” Namjoon breathes, and you can only make a soft noise of surprise when all at once, he takes your face in his hands and kisses you. You need a split second for the shock to wear off, and then you’re moving your mouth against his, one hand fisting tight in the fabric of his jacket. His lips are full and warm, and it feels like far too soon that he’s pulling back again, his cheeks flushed with color.

“Will you, uh—” he pauses, like he’s remembering how to form a sentence. “Will you still work tomorrow though? Jimin’s back after Christmas, but I really don’t think I can survive a shift on my own.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, still a little breathless from his kiss. “Yeah, I think you’d burn the place down.”

Unable to deny the claim, he laughs brightly as you untangle from each other, then gets to his feet before offering a hand to help you up. “We should head out, it’s gonna get dark soon.”

It’s true: across the wide clearing you can already see the sun threatening to sink back down between the trees, casting a golden-pink light that gleams off the snow and paints the world in warmth.

Sol leads the way back through the woods to the car, tugging Moni along by their leash, while you and Namjoon bring up the rear. You glance over at him a few times to catch him staring, and you scrape your teeth across your bottom lip, unable to keep the smile off your face, unable to stop yourself from mentally replaying the moment when he kissed you, over and over.

Just as you step under the shadow of a large tree, snow-covered branches stretching up toward the clear sky above you, Namjoon stops in the path. It’s so abrupt that you continue a few more paces before you even realize, and then you stop, too, glancing back towards him.

“Hey Sol,” Namjoon calls. “Think you and Moni can make it all the way back to the car in ten seconds?”

“I know what you’re doing,” comes Sol’s cheeky reply, but when Namjoon starts counting backwards from ten, you can hear the crunch of their boots taking off down the path.

“Eight, seven, six…” You watch as Namjoon cranes his neck until he deems Sol far enough out of sight, taking a step toward you as his counting trails off, and you find yourself pulled into him like a magnet. “Come here,” he murmurs, and then his hands are slipping up your waist and guiding you backwards until your back hits the trunk of the tree.

In true Namjoon fashion, he uses way more strength than is necessary for the task, and though your winter jacket cushions you from the impact, you’re smacked against the bark so hard that it knocks a dusting of snow off the branches above you, covering you both in flakes that stick to your hair and eyelashes. The sudden rush of cold makes you gasp into Namjoon’s mouth, but then he’s rolling his tongue over yours and you can’t think about anything else. A heavy pulse has started to thud between your legs at the heat of his breath in your mouth, the way his hips have you pinned to the tree, his body big enough to cover yours entirely.

“Joon,” you find the air to breathe as his lips trail hungrily down the slope of your neck. You rake a hand through his hair, white-blonde strands studded with snow, to try and pull his attention back, despite very much not wanting him to stop. “Joon, we should go. Before someone steals your kid.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs against your skin, and then his mouth is on yours again for one more kiss, like he can’t get enough. “Okay,” he finally grunts as he pulls away, sounding as begrudgingly responsible as you feel. Your head is still spinning; you want nothing more than to stay here and let him kiss you dizzy.

“Let’s go.”

He takes a step back so you can right yourself, reaching out to dust some snow off your jacket, and then the two of you resume walking up the path, sharing a breathless laugh like confidantes. You assume it’s just his standard clumsiness when Namjoon’s hand knocks into yours, but then his fingers are twining through yours purposefully, until you’re pressed palm to palm.

The rush of heat that blooms in your chest at his touch keeps you warm the rest of the way to the car.

Your last shift at Indigo somehow manages to feel exactly like every shift that’s come before it and completely new at the same time.

The work is the same, the steady stream of customers unchanged, the Christmas music still an aggravating soundtrack. But you no longer feel like you have to ignore the butterflies that flutter in your stomach when Namjoon asks you a question, or meets your gaze across the shop.

The only urges you have to suppress are indecent ones, made worse by Namjoon seemingly taking advantage of every opportunity to touch you: hip-checking you when you’re both standing at the front counter, pressing a hand to the small of your back whenever he has to squeeze behind you, leaning in a little closer than necessary to be heard over the noise of the milk steamer. It’s enough to make your breath hitch each time, and you can’t help but wonder if he feels the same relief at not having to hold back anymore.

Towards the end of the night, it surprises you when the typically consistent flow of customers starts to slow down, until it seems to have ceased entirely. You still have two hours to go, but you find yourself staring at the walls, every table empty, having done all the side work you can think of to distract yourself from boredom.

The sound of the front door’s lock clicking shut makes you glance up, only to see Namjoon flipping the open sign over.

“What are you doing?” you ask, blinking dumbfounded, and he looks over his shoulder at you with a shrug.

“It’s Christmas Eve Eve, and I’m the owner, so. We’re closing early. Effective immediately.” The decree makes you laugh a little, and his dimples wink back. “Let’s finish cleaning, I wanna show you something.”

In record time, you find yourself standing outside the front door of Indigo as Namjoon locks up, only tonight your hands are kept warm by the hot chocolates he’d made for the two of you as you closed. He takes his cup back once his hands are free, and you try a tentative sip from yours, now cool enough to drink without burning your mouth. Given what you witnessed of his barista abilities on your first day, you brace yourself for the worst, but your eyes widen in pleasant surprise when the liquid hits your tongue.

“Being a dad means getting really good at a few specific things,” he says by way of explanation as he unlocks his car doors, and you smile as you slip into the passenger seat.

It occurs to you as Namjoon starts to drive that you don’t actually know where he’s taking you, but when you open your mouth to ask at the next red light, he leans over you to fumble open the glovebox and you lose your train of thought. He fishes inside for a few seconds before retrieving a CD case, then makes quick work of prying it open and sliding the disc into the slot on the dash. You attempt to hide your giggle behind the rim of your cup.

“No wonder you like ‘90s music so much. You’re still living there,” you say, nodding to his antiquated stereo, and he smirks as he turns up the volume. 

“This is A Tribe Called Quest,” he remarks, quirking an eyebrow when he looks back at you. “You better show some respect.”

“Yes, sir,” you tease in response, and you don’t miss the color that flushes his cheeks.

The light turns green and he accelerates through the intersection, one hand on the steering wheel, the other reaching across the center console to grip playfully at your leg, a few inches above your knee. You can see his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, like he’s considering saying something, but when he finally opens his mouth, it’s just to rap along to the music.

It’s only a few songs later that he’s turning off the main road and following a barely-lit gravel path up to a large grassy parking lot, where he pulls into a space and kills the engine. You squint through the windshield, tucking your now-empty drink into the cupholder, but you can’t make out much except dusk and some vague lights over a hill in the distance.

“Was this crush thing just a ploy to murder me?” you quip, and Namjoon looks a little nervous when you glance over, like he took the question to heart. “I’m kidding,” you clarify quickly.

His voice comes out surprisingly soft. “This is one of my favorite things to do during the holidays. Thought it might help with, you know. The magic.”

Something cracks open inside you as you look back at him. “That’s… really sweet.”

“Ah,” he says, as if to dismiss the compliment. “You haven’t seen it yet. Maybe you’ll hate it. Come on.”

The two of you climb out of his car to start your trek to whatever he has in store, heading in the direction of the lights, and Namjoon’s hand slips into yours, like it’s already second nature. Easy and sweet. You grip tight to him, the night air colder now than it was when you left work, but then you finally crest over the hill, and the temperature is suddenly the furthest thing from your mind.

It takes you a moment to even understand what you’re looking at. The place is clearly some kind of arboretum, as the path ahead of you snakes through a perfectly manicured garden of various plants, but the only thing you can focus on are the lights. Every tree, bush, shrub, and other kind of greenery that lines the walkway has been intricately strung up with lights, each one boasting a different hue. The end result is nothing short of dazzling— a veritable rainbow of light and life and color, glittering diamond-bright against the deep-set night around you.

“Namjoon,” you breathe. “This is beautiful.”

There’s a dimple flickering at the corner of his mouth when you look up at him. “Thought you might like it.”

“I can’t believe I never knew this was here,” you remark, your eyes wide and blinking as you try to take it all in.

“Hey,” he answers with a shrug. “Maybe your hometown still has a few good surprises left in it.” You exhale a laugh as you lean into his side and he squeezes your joined hands; you can’t help feeling like you’ve already found the greatest surprise of them all.

After an hour spent wandering through the displays, each one more breathtaking than the last, Namjoon diverts you toward a small food stand. He comes away from the counter with a paper carton filled to the brim with long ropes of twisted, fried dough, warm enough to release steam into the air when you tear one apart to share, and dusted with cinnamon sugar that sticks to your fingertips.

The two of you take a few steps back down the path until you’re under an archway of glowing golden lights, then eventually come to a standstill, too hungry to do anything except devour your food.

Namjoon speaks first, mid-chew. “Can I ask you a question?”

“What’s up?” you answer as you reach for another piece.

He swallows, swiping the back of his hand over his mouth before he continues. “At your interview, you said your life fell apart. What happened?”

“Oh.” You smirk as you rip the braided dough in two, then in two again, before popping it into your mouth. “It seems a little silly now, but. I got fired from that last job, like I told you. And the same day, my roommate pretty much kicked me out of the apartment, because he wanted his boyfriend to move in. He was also my best friend, so. It stung a little. A lot. Moving back in with your parents at this age is humbling, to say the least. Feels a lot like starting over.”

Namjoon hums, like he understands. “I’m sorry about your friend.”

“Eh,” you respond noncommittally. “I should probably be happy for him. The timing just… wasn’t amazing.”

“You know,” he murmurs, thoughtful. “I thought my life was over when my ex and I got pregnant. Not even eighteen and about to be a dad. I really felt like… I don’t know, like that was it for me.” You nod slowly, unable to even fathom what that must’ve been like.

“But, here I am. Still alive.” Namjoon flashes you a grin, and you find yourself smiling back. “Still figuring it out. I actually feel like I’ve learned a lot from watching Sol grow up. They’re like—” He shakes his head, as if at a momentary loss for words. “They’re like a different person every month, I swear. What they’re into, how they dress. Who they wanna be. It makes me feel, I don’t know. Like it’s okay. Like I can change too.” He shrugs. “That’s the thing about life. It’s long. And even when you feel like it’s ended… it keeps going anyway.”

His words wash over you, and you’re so in awe that you can’t help but laugh.

“Ah, sorry.” He grimaces, suddenly self-conscious. “I know that was corny.”

“No, no,” you interject, trying to keep your composure. “I just think you are like, literally the wisest person I’ve ever met.”

The lights glimmering overhead aren’t enough to hide the way Namjoon blushes at the compliment, and then he pauses, as if recalling something. “Didn’t I nearly run the blender with the lid off on your first day?”

You double-over at the memory, and he’s laughing now, too. “Okay, okay. Fair point.” 

The thought keeps circling around in your brain as you dust cinnamon sugar from each other’s jackets and continue your way around the rest of the gardens, occasionally pausing to trade sticky-sweet kisses in the twinkling glow: you don’t want the night to end. You keep glancing over at Namjoon, wondering if he’s feeling the same way as he drives you back into town, the heat in his car on full blast, the CD player still underscoring your conversation.

“So, what do your Christmas plans look like?” he asks, eyes flitting briefly from the road to meet your gaze.

You fiddle with a button on your coat, wishing you had a less depressing answer. “I was just gonna spend it by myself. My parents already had a vacation in Hawaii planned, so I’m gonna do what I always do: hole up with booze and snacks and wait for it all to be over.”

He chuckles, tapping his fingertips absentmindedly against the steering wheel. “Well, I have about a hundred presents to wrap tomorrow night while Sol’s at their mom’s. Why don’t you come over and help? I can even provide the booze.” There’s a pause, and his voice comes back softer before you can respond. “You shouldn’t be alone.”

The corner of your mouth tugs up at his sincerity, the way he gently cares for you, has since day one. “Yeah, okay. I mean, you had me at free alcohol.”

Just like that, Namjoon is already turning back into the Indigo parking lot, where your car sits waiting for you. The two of you shrug off your seatbelts once he’s pulled into a space and parked, and he reaches to turn down the music before shifting in his seat to get a better look at you.

“So,” he starts, clearing his throat a little. “You are officially no longer my employee.”

“And you are no longer my boss,” you answer back, and a thrill buzzes in your chest at the statement.

“Which means,” he continues, doing his best to lean over the center console, “I can do this.” He barely finishes getting the words out before his mouth is on yours, your eyes fluttering closed, his kisses far less chaste than the ones you shared earlier. They’re open-mouthed and urgent this time, with Namjoon slipping his tongue into the heat of your mouth like he’s been waiting all night for it.

“Uh-huh,” you murmur between kisses, and then he dips his head lower, until his lips find the join of your neck and shoulder.

“And this,” he purrs before kissing you just as hungrily there, tongue-first. You can’t hold back the soft noise his mouth pulls out of you.

“Fuck,” you breathe as he sucks gently over the same spot, with just enough pressure to make you writhe in your seat. A shiver rolls up your spine when he hums against your skin, clearly pleased at your reaction.

“And, uh…” You slowly blink your eyes open when you feel the warmth of his breath dissipate, and he’s looking at you with his brow furrowed, as if attempting some difficult mental math. “Actually—” He reaches down for the lever to adjust his seat, and it drops all the way back with a graceless thud that makes a laugh flutter out of you. “Maybe you could take your jacket off and come over here?”

You don’t need him to ask you twice, and you’re moving quickly as you peel out of the thick material and scramble across the console to straddle him. You both groan a little when you duck down to press your mouth to his again, all of this suddenly feeling much more real now that you’re basically horizontal. His hands alight on your hips, tentative, like he isn’t quite sure what to do with them, and you smile against his lips.

“Touch me, Joon,” you instruct, and he does as he’s told.

His hands are warm as he slips them beneath the hem of your shirt, trailing over your skin until he reaches the band of your bra. When you hum encouragingly into his mouth, he keeps going, pushing the fabric up your chest so your tits spill free from their confinement. He cups one in each hand, and though you might’ve expected him to be clumsy or rough, given everything you’ve seen of him thus far, you’re surprised to instead find that he’s gentle, thumbs circling your nipples with just the right amount of pressure to tighten them into stiff peaks.

Unable to bite back your whimper at the heat that blossoms through you at his touch, at how much more of him you need, you pull away just enough to break your kiss, glancing up through the back window of his car to confirm the parking lot is still empty.

Namjoon groans low in his throat when you reach down to tug up the hem of your shirt, shifting a little on top of him to give him better access. He doesn’t hesitate, thumb still working at one nipple while he takes the other into his mouth, and your sigh of relief comes edged with a soft moan when he swirls his tongue over the bud of your breast.

“Shit,” you gasp. “Feels so fucking good.”

He pulls off with a wet pop to switch sides, and the slick heat of his mouth sends bolt after bolt of arousal through you until there’s a dull ache of need thudding between your legs. As you roll your hips in desperate search of friction, you can feel him beneath you, straining hard against the fabric of his jeans.

Namjoon pulls his mouth off your breast, letting out a hoarse laugh when you shift to drop your forehead against his collarbone with a groan, horny enough to practically be delirious. “I hate that I’m even saying this,” he rasps, “but I really can’t have sex in a car. I’m too—”

“Big?” you offer, and there’s a smile on his lips as he presses a kiss to your temple.

“I was going to say old.”

You can’t help giggling as you lean up to find his mouth with yours again. Namjoon kisses you a little while longer, lazily, his hands still kneading gently at your tits, until he finally tips his head back, heaving a sigh up to the roof of his car. “Okay, okay. You should go.” His tone is reluctant, like it’s the last thing he wants. “It’s late. And my jeans fucking hurt.”

There’s a self-satisfied smirk toying at your mouth as you sit up, tugging your bra and shirt back into place and not missing the bulge in Namjoon’s pants where your hips meet his. “I will take the blame for that one.”

He folds his hands behind his head, biceps and dimples on full display. “Damn straight.”

You lean down for one more kiss, letting it linger before you make your way back over the center console to retrieve your jacket. “Have a good night, Joon,” you murmur as you reach for the door handle, and when you glance back, his eyes are fixed on you, still heavy-lidded with lust.

“Get home safe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I have booze, as promised.” Namjoon’s voice echoes in from the kitchen as you kick off your boots and hang your coat up at his front door come Christmas Eve. The aroma hits your nose as your socked feet pad down the hall to follow him: the spice of cinnamon and clove, paired with a hint of citrus. It smells like the holidays, like home.

“Mulled wine?” you wager a guess, and he nods, turning away from the stove to retrieve two mugs from a cabinet.

“I halved the recipe, since it’s just us,” he explains, mouth pulling down at the corners as he starts to ladle out servings from the pot full of deep red liquid. “Still made a lot, though.”

Your eyes drift across the kitchen until they land on the two empty bottles of red sitting next to the sink, and that makes you pause for a moment to consider. “So the original recipe called for four bottles?”

Namjoon’s brow is furrowed when he glances up, and then he follows your gaze, and a look of delayed understanding washes over him. “Oh, fuck.”

Your elbows dig into the kitchen island as you press your hands to your mouth, as if to physically hold in your laughter. “Did you… halve everything in the recipe except the wine?”

His eyes drop closed as he nods, his answer a resigned sigh. “Yeah. Yes, I did.”

You can’t help yourself: all at once, you’re circling around to join Namjoon behind the stove, so you can take his face in your hands and pull his mouth down to yours. He makes a soft noise of surprise, but then his lips fall into rhythm, kissing you hard enough to knock the air out of your lungs. Even through the fabric of your shirt, his large hands are warm when they slide over the small of your back, and then they keep going, until you finally break the kiss with another laugh when he reaches his final target and outright grabs your ass.

“Not the reaction I anticipated,” Namjoon admits, paired with a teasing squeeze. “But I’ll take it.”

You look up at him through your lashes, pressing your palms flat to the firm plane of his chest. “A very wise friend of mine once told me that the holidays aren’t about every little thing going perfect. I thought maybe you needed a reminder.”

His dimples deepen as his eyes search yours, and his voice is lower in his throat when he responds. “I think that fool was just sayin’ words because a pretty girl asked him a question.”

Heat flushes your face as you smile back. “Well, they were very good words.” You drop your gaze to the pot on the stove. “Come on, I bet we can salvage this.”

Determined to save Christmas, you throw in another handful of spices, chased with a few glugs from a bottle of orange juice Namjoon heroically digs out of the back of the fridge. After a few more minutes of simmering, you take a tentative sip of the mixture to find it perfectly adequate.

“I guess we just have to drink twice as much now,” Namjoon quips, filling up two fresh mugs with the remedied wine. You raise an eyebrow back at him, as if to accept the challenge, while you tap your drinks together in a cheers.

By the time you realize that a double-batch of mulled wine and gift-wrapping don’t exactly go together, it’s already too late. The booze makes Namjoon’s big hands go even clumsier, the few presents he attempts an absolute disaster, and you can’t stop laughing long enough to be of any help. At one point he reaches up to cup your jaw for a kiss, but completely misjudges the distance, deftly knocking into his half-drunk mug and spilling the contents all over a tube of wrapping paper and the crotch of your jeans.

You dissolve into giggles until you can scarcely breathe, scooting your chair a few inches back from the table as he jumps up to grab something to soak up the mess. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” you manage to gasp when he returns, immediately focused on cleaning you up first. You wave him away as you get to your feet. “Seriously, it’s not that bad, it’s mostly the table.”

“Jesus,” Namjoon groans as he drops the kitchen towels in his hands onto the wooden surface, doing his best to soak up the puddle, though there’s no saving the ruined gift-wrap.

“It’s not a big deal,” you murmur as he turns back, once again examining the extent of the damage done to your clothes. A shiver rolls through you as his thumb brushes over the waistband of your jeans, and he grimaces a little.

“This is probably gonna stain.”

“I mean…” Your pulse starts to quicken as his fingertips linger where they are, and Namjoon’s gaze flits up to meet yours when you speak, clearly hearing a shift in your tone of voice. “I could just… take them off.”

A smile teases at the corner of your mouth when his eyes widen. “Yeah,” he breathes, then seems to self-correct. “I mean, uh. If-if that’s something you would feel comfortable doing.”

You’re already reaching to undo the button, and then Namjoon takes over to tug open the zipper and push the fabric down your legs, and your nipples tighten beneath your bra at the reminder of how gentle his large hands can be. His lips find yours again and you don’t hesitate to lick into his mouth, jostling slightly as you try to make out with him and kick your pants the rest of the way off at the same time. It’s graceless, but you manage to make it work, and then he pulls away from you to glance back down.

“It looks like a little got on your shirt, too.”

He’s right, you realize: there are faint purple marks splattered just above the hem of your long-sleeve, and you smirk as you look up at him.

“If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you did this on purpose,” you tease, and then in one swift move you pull your shirt over your head, letting it drop to the kitchen floor next to your discarded jeans.

Namjoon’s hands are instantly on your bare skin, trailing heat as they trace the curve from your hip to your waist, and your breath hitches as he ducks down to brush his lips over your collarbone. The low tone of his voice reverberates through you when he speaks against your skin. “I like to think I could’ve gotten you naked tonight even without being an accident-prone idiot.”

You run a hand along the line of his jaw, tipping his head up to seek a kiss, before leaning back to murmur, “I guess we’ll never know.”

He kisses you again, and the two of you stumble across the threshold into the living room, pausing along the way to peel off his sweater and then his jeans, laughing into each other’s mouths, just drunk enough to lack any semblance of coordination you might have otherwise had.

When you drop down to lay back on his sofa, you’re both stripped to your underwear, and you can feel the thick bulge of him, pressing firm-heavy heat into your thigh as he settles his hips between your spread legs.

Namjoon’s eyes roam over your body beneath him, and then he’s tugging the lace of your panties to the side to slip a finger into your drenched center, beckoning it up to rub you just right. Your mouth drops open as he traces slow circles against your front wall, and when he adds a second digit, you can’t help but whimper softly at the stretch. It thrums through you like your lingering red wine buzz, hot and thick and good enough to get lost in, your head dropping back on the couch cushions as your hips rock up into his touch.

“Goddamn,” Namjoon groans, and your eyes flutter open again to take him in, his gaze heavy-lidded as he watches his fingers disappear up into you, coaxing slick sounds out with each pump of his hand. “I had a whole plan,” he rasps. “To take my time. But, fuck, I really want to fuck you.”

“It’s okay, Joon,” you breathe, not sure how much longer you could stand the torturous feeling of his clothed cock grinding into your thigh, so close to where you want him. An ache throbs in your cunt, needy, plugged up with two fingers but still begging for more. “Just fuck me.”

Realization flashes over his face, and then he suddenly heaves a sigh, looking defeated. You have to bite back a noise at the loss as he withdraws his fingers. “I— there’s an obvious joke here, but. I don’t have any condoms. Or if I do, they’re definitely expired.”

It takes you a second to process the revelation, and then you reach up to pull him down to you, smiling when he hums surprise into your mouth at the unexpected response. Your lips linger on his, and then you tip your head to press a kiss to the slope of his neck, not quite able to maintain eye contact as you murmur, “I mean. I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. So.”

“Yeah?” he replies, and your nose bumps against his shoulder as you nod. “Me too. Well, I-I’m clean, I mean. I’m not on the pill.”

You can’t help the giggle that slips out as you look up at him. “Right, no, I get it.”

“Sorry,” Namjoon huffs a laugh in return, his face flushing a little. “I talk a lot, when I’m nervous.”

“I just thought it was an all-the-time thing,” you admit, and the color in his cheeks deepens.

“I’m just always nervous around you.”

Your mouth seeks his out for a kiss sweeter than the last, slower for his shy honesty and the hummingbird thrum of your heartbeat behind your ribs. The heat of his breath ghosts over your lips when you tip back to answer, “You don’t have to be.”

“So, you’re okay?” he asks, almost reverent with his question. “If we—if I don’t—”

“Please,” you insist, and it’s all the encouragement he needs.

With remarkably little fumbling, he drags the lace of your panties down your legs, letting you kick them the rest of the way off while he moves up to unclasp your bra. You slip the straps off your shoulders and drop it over the edge of the couch, then watch as he shifts to strip out of his boxers, freeing his cock with enough force that it smacks against his abdomen with a hefty thud.

You swallow hard as you take him in: long and thick, flushed dark. Big, and fuck, you want all of him; you can feel how drenched you already are between your legs at the thought of all that cock filling you up.

When you tear your gaze away to meet his, Namjoon is staring at you just as hungrily, and he brings a hand to pump himself a few times, to coat his shaft in the wetness that’s started to drool from the head of his dick.

“Come here,” he grunts, his voice rough-edged, and you waste no time straddling yourself over his hips.

Given his considerable size, you figured it might take you a second to adjust, but you want him so bad, the feeling of his cock stretching you open is all white-hot pleasure. Your fingertips dig into his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself down on him, inch by overwhelming inch, until your ass is flush with thighs.

Namjoon’s head drops back against the couch as you slowly grind your hips into him, his hands gripping at your waist to guide the movement. You can’t help the soft sound that flutters out of you: he just looks so good like this, white-blonde hair swept off his forehead, beads of sweat trailing down his temples and glistening at his collarbones, his parted lips full and kiss-bitten.

“Baby,” he groans as you start to move a little more intentionally. “Fuck, I’m not gonna last long. Tell me what to do.”

“Touch me,” you breathe, and you close a hand over one of his, guiding him down to your clit. 

Just like the night before in his car, his touch is so gentle when he begins to trace circles into the sensitive nub with his thumb. You can feel the slow-hum build of an orgasm in your core, drawn up by the steady rub of his hand, and you lean back to allow him better access, bracing yourself on his thighs as you rock along his length.

A moan rips through you as the new angle drags the head of his dick just right against your front wall, and it’s good enough to make your eyes roll back. Chasing the feeling, you shove your hips down harder, driving his cock into that spot over and over until your thighs have started to tremble.

“That’s it,” Namjoon grunts encouragingly, his voice husky. “Use me, baby. Look so good when you bounce on my cock like that.”

The words set every last one of your nerve endings alight, and you dig your nails into his skin as your spine arches from the pleasure. His thumb is still working steadily at your clit, and the heavy stretch of his cock has you so wet, you can feel arousal starting to leak down your thighs. Your pussy clings to him like a vice, a throbbing-tight heat, taking him to the hilt every time.

“Oh my god, Joon,” you groan, “I’m gonna come.”

His touch doesn’t let up, and you can feel yourself teetering right on the precipice of it, only able to manage little gasps as you drop yourself down onto his cock again and again and again, with enough force that there’s an audible sound of your skin slapping against his.

Your legs are outright shaking from the effort now, from how close you are, and then Namjoon ducks his head, using his free hand to guide your tit into his mouth. The swirl of his tongue laved across the tight bud of your nipple is just what you need to push you over the edge.

With a moan that’s more like a sob, you drop forward against Namjoon’s chest, sinking all the way down to bury him in your pulsing cunt as you come. He continues to rub you through the waves of your orgasm, breathing ragged in your ear while your pussy gushes around him, until you grab his wrist with a soft whimper of overstimulation, and he relents.

Too gone to get any words out, all you can do is take his face in your hands and kiss him. He rolls his tongue over yours, decadent, as his palms slip down to cup your ass. You groan a little into his mouth when he begins to shift you, your cunt still fluttering-sensitive at every little motion, but he manages to maneuver you onto your back while still keeping himself sheathed in you.

His hands move to your thighs, encouraging your legs to hook over his hips, and his mouth trails kisses down the valley between your breasts before he breathes against your skin, “Can I keep going?”

“Please,” you murmur, and it’s chased with a moan when he starts to rock his hips into you. You feel so full, so swollen from your climax that it’s like your walls were molded to take him, the crown of his cock stroking deep-deep over the place that lights you up inside, shooting sparks of pleasure all the way down to your toes.

Namjoon’s breath stutters on a laugh. “Shit, I’m already close.”

You tilt up to brush your lips against his, humming encouragingly into his mouth, and then he pulls back again, one dimple teasing at the corner of his smile. “God, I— wanna hear you say it.”

Somehow, you know exactly what he means. “Come in me, Joon,” you beg, fucked so good that you’re shameless for it, and you gasp when he bottoms out in you with his next thrust. “Fill me up. Fuck me full of your cum, baby, please.”

It’s like the words send him into overdrive, and he practically growls as he starts to fuck his cock into you forcefully, hard enough to make your tits bounce. Each snap of his hips punches a heady groan from your lungs, and you reach up to drag your nails across the skin of his back as he chases his own end.

“Gonna fucking— give it to you,” he hisses, rolling his hips one, two, three more times, and then you feel his cock twitching, shoved in as deep as you can take him. He heaves a final strangled groan as he comes, rope after rope of his release pumping into you to paint your walls, until you can feel it beginning to spill back down your thighs.

You kiss through the comedown, inhaling shaky breaths into each other’s mouths, your bodies still fitted together like puzzle pieces, sweat starting to cool in the places where skin is pressed to skin. Namjoon finally moves first, giving a grunt of effort as he rolls off the couch, and you throw an arm over your face while the world slowly settles into focus around you.

When he returns, it’s with a towel in hand, and you can’t help smiling as he cleans you up, trailing soft kisses along your collarbone in tandem.

His voice is soft, too, when he finally speaks. “Will you stay here tonight?”

You prop yourself up on your forearms to look at him, and a little glimmer of something lights up in your chest that you can’t ignore. The first spark of an ember, just enough to reignite a flame you’d long since believed to be entirely extinguished. But now he’s shown you: it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to be alone.

“Of course. We still have presents to wrap,” you say simply, and he huffs a laugh as he leans in to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Joon?” you murmur into the crook of his neck, unable to keep your voice entirely steady.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” you breathe. “For the magic.”

[whysojiminimnida]

Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

[stupendousfoxthing]

Jeeeeeeesuuuuuuuuus. Label employees cannibalize a genuine moment and "restage" it for a behind the scenes clip. You know how we've been saying it's weird that AYS seemed to mimic so much of Taekook moments from solo era? It's crazy that they paid for this article as promotion, because it's actually so damning and embarrassing. Also crazy we've been saying a lot of the things now plainly laid out in this article for years.

[akookminsupporter]

Hey Rosie, so i did a thing a decided to visit some taekook blogs to just read some of their theories to see if i could understand where they are coming from because no matter how hard i think about things, i just can’t for the life of me understand why someone will honestly still ship taekook in 2024 and even after watching everything Jikook have done for and to each other in years and when i tell you i lost braincells, believe me i did.

I’m one person who believes that people should be free to believe in what they want to as long as they are not being dismissive of other members bonds but i realized that, that is literally the only way taekookers cope. They are blatantly dismissive of Jk’s bond with Jimin and only acknowledge it when it comes to moments they cannot argue and then the want to play the “they are bestfriends so it’s normal” card even though just right before that, they were claiming how Jk arrived Yoongi’s concert and ignored Jimin. How can u say this and then when someone brings something which obviously shows how Jk cares about Jimin you are back to claiming that they are bestfriends even though you think Jk will arrive a concert and ignore his bestfriend just because he wants to cling to his “boyfriend”? Make it make sense.

I know that in the last years, jikook spaces have gotten really toxic and some jikookers are becoming as delulu as tkkrs but i will always thank God for the handful of sane jikookers we still have because trust me when i tell you that there is not a SINGLE sane taekooker in this world. All of them have either been brainwashed or are plain stupid. For the most part, most jikookers pay attention to facts to try to make sense of jikook. Yes we do have our theories but you don’t see Jikookers sticking to their theories as proof of the damn ship but this is the opposite for taekookers. They actually don’t care about the facts. They don’t care about what the boys have to say or what has actually happened all these years. They only care about their own interpretation of the boys actions and words.

You wouldn’t hear them bringing up tangible reasons as to why they think their ship is real. They will bring up reasons like the fact that taekook wore the same shirt on the same day and same time even though they were in different continents💀. They will bring up things like hearing taekook’s voices in each other’s Lives and the only proof they have for this are the voices in their heads.

I am one of those who believes that Jikook sometimes hide in each other’s Lives but i don’t believe this just because i see them look to a certain direction for 3 seconds or because i hear a random sound. My belief is backed up by the fact that we literally have evidence which has been consistent for over a decade which points to the fact that Jimin and Jk are the two who spend the most of their nigts together. I didn’t come to this conclusion by imagining that they do, i came to this conclusion because they have literally told us this so many damn times. So if i hear a voice or feel like someone else is in Jimin or Jk’s room at some odd hour, i am more inclined to think it is Jimin or Jk rather than anyone else because those two have a history of being in each other’s rooms the most, you get? It is the same as, if someone has a reputation of being a theif, if something gets missing everyone will most likely look to them first before anyone else.

Another thing that is really weird to me about taekookers is how they blatantly ignore everything we have witnessed Jikook do for years and then they hype up taekook doing some of those things for a 6 months period. This entire fandom has seen Jikook arrive and leave so many places together for years with or without tae present. We know that Jk has hung out with Jimin and his friends for years. Infact we saw Jk with Jm’s friends way b4 anyone ever dreamed of Jk hanging out with Tae’s wooga but when Jk did all these things with Jimin, it didn’t matter and it meant nothing but now, some of them consider it irrefutable proof that taekook is real because Taekook arrived and left a concert together ONCE in 10 years and because for the first time in a decade, Jk was seen hanging out with Tae and his friends for a period of time. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

Do you remember those days when taekookers used to swear that Jikook hanging out alot outside of work was proof that they weren’t real because according to them, no closeted couple in a homophobic country will expose themselves so much? Remember when JM and Jk sharing cars was fanservice? Remember how they downplayed Jk’s lives about JM in chapter two because it was “official content” but were praying Jk did the same for tae and when that didn’t happen, they switched their narrative to “Jk was forced” or “Jm needed promotion while tae didn’t”. I honestly don’t understand how they even make sense to themselves. Ask them why they think Jk and tae are a couple when there is literally evidence Jk spending birthdays and couple holidays with Jimin and not seeing Tae some times at all and they tell you, Jk and tae have to protect themselves by lying that they don’t. So you mean to tell me that Jk and Tae don’t feel the need to “protect” themselves when they are attending premiers or when tae is namedropping Jk 1783787 times or when Tae is coming to announce that Jk sings him a song but they only feel the need to “protect” themselves when it comes to admitting that they go to greet each other on birthdays?

You see that their entire premise of belief in their ship is making other people the villains in taekook’s lives. The big bad company who constantly separates the boys in camera, constantly forces Jk to do fanservice with Jimin, constantly cuts their moments, Jimin who constantly forces himself on Jk, who doesn’t respect his friends relationships, Jk who is lilly livered and cannot stand up and say no to the money hungry company, Jk who sometimes hurts tae by playing along with the “fanservice” and poor tae tae who has to sit there and take all of this. Poor tae tae who has a terrible soulmate and a boyfriend who cannot fight for him. He is the real victim in all of this. I honestly don’t know how they don’t see how incredibly stupid they sound.

Sorry for the rant.

Anon, thanks for the TED TALK.

Honestly, there is not much I can add. Thanks for taking one for the team and read what las vecinas are saying, you are a stronger person than me because I have never been able to do that. I think two of the key things for that group to stay afloat for so long are:

Not seeing original content.

Living in denial.

And that's why they will always be around, no matter what.

[peachjagiya]

Queen SMART uniform event started circulating on twitter again. Taekookers posting about that day, as so many of them consider it their initiation event. The kind of situation you cant help but feel that something happened, something shifted. And if you watch the whole event, unedited, you can see it even more, as both of them act weird, laughing at whatever is happening with the MC and the members and then instantly get lost in the bubble again as they try to look at each other or try to shyly avoid eye contact before they brush their arms with intent. And there is also backstage footage of SMART, where they are seen somewhere in the background, again just the two of them, facing each other, jk's hand on tae's shoulder, yawning, tae staring into his soul as they are talking. Damn its so obvious.

👑 SMART EVENT 👑

All rise for our monarch and place a hand on your heart for the national anthem *Nothing Like Us played by Namjoon on saxophone*

[dearweirdme]

I love the point you made on hereronormativity earlier on the plushie and how people feel about two men sharing it.

That's funny because it reminds me of this thought I've been having recently :I actually understand the notion of not shipping real people together because it will make them uncomfortable or whatever and at first I failed to get along with this statement because I think taekook is real and the fact that I couldn't enjoy anything related to them without some mfs reminding me that they are friends...

But anyway. I think people in the fandom do not think like that. At least not recently. It started off as something about moral and the members respect and it went down the road as a thing of heteronormativity borderline homophobic.

Because why were people writing EVERYWHERE (even some shippers) that jungkook has a girlfriend(also the weird stereotype) because he has a hello kitty plushie????? Like it really blows my mind up how it was sooo normal for everyone to assume this one bit and nobody saw anything weird in this. It's like having a car key and my family members assumung right away that I have a boyfriend because boys love cars. See how stupid it sounds???? It's sooo crazy to me.

But I sat there and observe because I didn't think my word could have had much effect against 200k likes on tiktok.

And now we are in the present, Taehyung and Jungkook happens to have the same damn plushie and its considered a bro thing.. I don't want to exaggerate about anything but the moment the fandom open their eyes and understand that those fads going around shoving the hetero thing down our throat and then acting blind when it happens to be about two men or homosexuality in general, they'll also understand that homophobic people thrive in this fandom and they think they have a place there because who's gonna complain about Anna who thinks Jungkook has a girlfriend because of his tattoos and it doesn't make sense if its not the case?

Hi anon!

Oh.. heteronormative thinking is ingrained in so many people still. Let me go on a bit of a rant here 😁.

It starts as soon as someone is pregnant.. and it intensifies when a child is born. I live in a so called progressive and openminded country.. and yet to my ex it was extra special that our kid was a boy. Thoughts of playing football (soccer) and other ‘boy activities’ went through his mind. People gave us blue clothes and car toys. When my kid got older it became clear that he has what would be considered a ‘soft’ side. He’d choose rainbow colored mermaid plushies and unicorns to play with alongside his car toys.. and people found that odd. Kids don’t actually see a difference.. they just like stuff and colors and it’s the reaction of adults that makes them feel a certain way about it. My kid is a bit older now and I have constant conversations with him about that it’s okay to let his hair grow out if he likes it, that boys can love boys and that girls can love girls (i always say stuff like ‘when you’re older and have a boyfriend or girlfriend’). I was a member of an inclusive bookclub for kids for a while, and people got uncomfortable about the topics.. which was basically that love is love and that people are diverse. I am a big believer that if people start being inclusive in the language they use.. it will make a difference.

A lot of people aren’t even aware that it’s something they’re doing. I still catch myself at times.. but I make it a learning experience.

Fandom absolutely treats heteronormative ways of thinking different than queerness. The many times we see people defending members from queer allegations is insane and it shows that queerness is seen as something less valuable/weird/abnormal 😡.

I have always seen Jk as a soft guy (which has nothing to do with his sexuality). Straight men can be soft, queer men can be tough. Tattoos say nothing about what someone is like.. I have tattoos and I’m all sorts of things none of which would have anything to do with my tattoos. My tattoos are an expression of what’s going on in my mind while for someone else it could be that they just like the look of it.

I think Jk is queer because he is attracted to men (Tae) it’s as simple as that really.

[bangtannism]

this space is filled with jm solos and people who give too much thought to jm solo narratives

which is why i'm confused that jk biased jkkers (as that anon said even ones that are critical and weird towards jimin) were also upset with the way jk was acting. if it was just jm biased jkkers and solos, i could see it as people using jk for a ship and not liking/supporting him if he steps out of that "perfect boyfriend" and "jm's caretaker" narrative that isn't true or at least isn't ALL he is, but JK BIASED twisting his intentions and actions? that's just crazy....

idk if it's people now seeing jikook (and more so jk) outside of edits and fics or just taekook interacting, but it needs to stop before people become even worse jk (and tae/taekook) antis

i'd love to look at the jikook tag after a ays episode without being made to feel like i'm insane or "supporting bullying and abuse" 😭

there's a few things going on here.

like i mentioned, jm solo narratives permeate this part of fandom. it sucks, but it is what it is, and unfortunately these people tend to flock together, creating an echo chamber that can look to those outside of it as a popular opinion or consensus. the infantilizing of jm is not only maddening, but deeply disrespectful, and if these people really loved him, they wouldn't be doing it.

people are far too impressionable. this goes hand in hand with the first point, but people are swayed extremely easily and the more they see the same sort of opinion, the more they convince themself that the opinion is right. when ays episode 1 first dropped, the first few hours were peaceful and it was clear that the majority of people came away with a positive feeling. once a couple of negative opinions got posted, people started to latch onto that negativity, letting other people's feelings tarnish their experience, and soon it was all over the tag. jk was being weird, distant, uncaring, mean, etc.

the seedier people in this fandom feel vindicated whenever someone says some nasty opinion about a member/ship they dislike and it prompts them to get louder. think about how much more outspoken bigots get when they think they're around like minded people. every single time a shitty take gets posted, be that an original post or an anon message, more people feel that it's okay to also be shitty. this happened bad when tae was announced to be joining jkk in jeju. the tae antis were suddenly all over the damn tag like cockroaches. 🥾🪳

i do think there is a lot of people who are being forced to contend with the fact that jkk are not story book characters living a sacharrine sweet perfect fantasy life where all they do is cuddle and sing each other's praises. sorry to break it to these people (i'm not), but jm and jk are very real people who are a lot more complex than that. they are going to tease and joke and complain and argue and all the rest of the stuff that every other person does. they are also not going to be in the same mood 24/7 and that too is going to affect how they behave and interact. there is nothing concerning about how jkk (or vmk) have interacted on ays so far, let alone something that constitutes the label of abuse. that accusation actually pissed me off beyond belief, because abuse isn't a fucking term to throw around over someone being jokingly sprayed with water.

my best advice to anyone at this point is to use that block button freely and curate a good fandom space for yourself and others. and also just to remember that vmk love each other dearly and no amount of sad internet hate is going to change their reality.

[starryjkoo]

https://www.tumblr.com/starryjkoo/764086905378881536/httpswwwtumblrcomstarryjkoo76407096882620006?source=share

I'm just reading this now since i was inactive (going again) so I'm replying now (not saying you were waiting for my reply but I'm the same anon who's ask this was 😅)

I don't really have anything to add other than I agree with everything you said there. i know all those accounts you're talking about, i even know the "random taekook" account you said there without u mentioning their @ because guess what? been there done that kinda..i saw that tkkr saying all those "Just because i follow TK biased doesn't mean I'm tkkr" this that bs when 99% tweets are about TK and them following all sort of tkkrs ones that drag jm too lol. and their little ot7 followers backing up them..idk who they're trying to fool as if we can't smell a trash from miles away 😭

being honest u don't need to be chronically online to see what is the shit that's going on in Fandom or How it's filled with Tkkrs. a newly entered fan can tell it's full of Tkkrs so idk what pleasure others get by Lying saying TK are most hated in Fandom (just Today i saw those tweets with thousands of likes).

What pisses me off tho is ot7 jkkrs acting like many of the armys don't hate jm deep down. saying "They're hating on jm so they're not army" is such a bs thing to say and literally big jkk blogs here say that but ask them why they generalize solos because there's good solos too who just support one member in peace without dragging anyone but nope for them "If you stan only one member then you're an anti" like who gets to decide that? You? and who are you? their logic is just as useless as kpopies to me. You're the only jkkr who even talked about all the things happening with jm others are too ot7s to even address those things. Them saying that Fandom majorly doesn't dislike jm because of TK as a ship is funny because the same Fandom was seen begging Tkkrs for help when taehyung and Jennie's video was leaked but sure.

Hope the deserved people gets their karma back is all i can hope for now because i know for a fact that things are going to get worse in future Especially with what's going on with hybe and tkkrs loser ass Linking all of that to "jm is company's fav and they force Jkk" shit.

hi anon! no I’m happy to hear from you again, it makes me feel more sane to see people with the same opinions on some of this lol 😭

Yeah, that one account who just makes corny tkk shipping jokes and is very clearly an actual tkkr but you had half of ARMYtwt coming to their defense because they were all part of the same clique and most of them are “tk-biased”. They were laughing saying that using a duo name doesn’t mean you’re a shipper but when people were pulling up screenshots of them literally reading AUs they would just deflect lmao 😭 It’s just embarrassing.

And yeah I saw that too, a big and popular account talking about tkk being the most hated 🥴 just the audacity to say that, as if we don’t all have eyes and see the absurd amount of followers and engagement tkk accounts have on EVERY platform. And I could write a thesis on the absolute obsession ARMYs have w/ a tk-subunit just proving how deeply enmeshed the tkk shipping bias is in this fandom. And talking about the fandom hating a duo, I could write another thesis on how ARMYs are insanely weird towards Jikook, like damn AYS just drove that home for me.

Yeah, the hardcore OT7 jkkrs who deny that the fandom treats Jimin weirdly are just bizarre to me. Literally right now there’s discourse going on about US streams and you can find multiple hit tweets where they are straight up shading and attacking Jikook up and down in the comments, especially JM (they’re for sure getting nastier towards JK about this but some of them can at least concede that he has GP/popularity, but for some reason the bulk of ARMYs think that w/ JM it must be favoritism bc in their minds they decided that tkk were miles ahead of him in popularity despite his solo music ALWAYS performing the best or second best in the group). Like throw a dart at a board and you can find a random reason that ARMYs resent JM, whether it be over associating him with his solos the most (literally HYBE saw and marked this as a problem??) to just the fact that ARMYs are literally full of tkkrs who ALWAYS resent him on some level. Bizarre for jkkrs of ALL people to try and deny this as hard as some of them do? (and like I said I’m not saying JM is the only member who gets weird treatment from ARMYs sometimes, but he for sure gets it the most by virtue of tkkrs being as big as they are if nothing else. There are still tons of ARMYs who love him tho obviously).

And 100% on some jkkrs/ARMYs trying to say that people who hate JM aren’t ARMY to wash their hands of the issue. It’s literally not true because half the people shading him consider themselves ARMYs, a lot of tkkrs consider themselves ARMYs, ARMYs literally make up the following and likes of toxic tkk accounts, so what are they even talking about? That attitude is literally why it got so bad and we are where we are. Like just say you don’t care about Jimin and go I guess.

It's like we can be fandom critical and still care about/be a part of the fandom, this is the way it's been for me and literally any community I’ve ever been a part of? If you care about something you want to make it better which means looking inward and trying to identify and fix the problems. I get there’s a fine line between being critical and “victimizing” and “solo narratives” and “manti narratives” but c’mon, we can use critical thinking to differentiate, yeah? Because not every fandom/company complaint makes you a “solo” or “manti”. Just insane to me.

There’s so many issues with hardcore OT7 logic that we could get into tbh, but you’re right in that there’s nothing wrong with liking only one or two members as long as you’re not hating on the others. And tbh there’s nothing wrong with not liking and supporting all of them equally when isn’t it just normal to have preferences and to stream the music you enjoy the most? And just a note, the funny thing is that a good chunk of ARMYs who complain about this ARE pretty heavily biased, they just don’t want to admit it, even to themselves. And that’s one of the reasons diet-solos emerge and are so prevalent in the fandom right now.

I think the karma is definitely the fandom falling apart at the seams right now (even though sadly good people are getting punished for it). It’s toxic as hell in ARMY spaces, good ARMYs have left in droves, our charting is not great for non-Jikook (part of this I just blame on HYBE and their bad strategy of relying wholly on the fandom, or maybe it’s some of the members strategy tbf, but whoever decided, it wasn’t a good idea). I mean, I guess we’ll see what happens when BTS return, maybe more people will return and things will improve/stabilize somewhat but I also don’t think there’s really ever going back to how things were in the fandom either. Plus BTS are going to focus on group work for a minute, but it’s never going to be the same rate as pre-CH2, the solo careers are here to stay and we have no idea what the actual balance of solo/group/subunit work will be yet. I guess we’ll see but at least we know the karma is that JM antis and tkkrs are like the most miserable jobless people on the planet and JM is happy and healthy and wealthy and loved, so there’s that if nothing else. Stantwt in general just full of miserable losers.

Anyways sorry for yapping so much again lmao, I resonate with you on all these issues, I could go on forever about some of this lol so I’ll stop. And for sure, it would be nice for more jkkrs to talk about this kind of stuff tbh, at least the ones who are active in the fandom. And yeah the situation with the HYBE leaks and how they’re already doing the most to twist and start another smear campaign on JM and jkk, just insane 🫠 you know if solo fights were just name-calling it wouldn’t be as much of an issue, I don’t feel like some people understand the kind of damage these groups are doing and the lengths they go to. But we will just keep streaming and supporting and doing our best I guess 😭 same old same old, always something insane happening.

[mrs-monaghan]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrs-monaghan/724551783636140032/ahm-i-get-what-are-you-saying-but-that-really

I know that there are pple who always insist to take everything at face value. Anon, you honestly cannot expect normal behaviours from situations that are not normal at all. You are talking about Jk not showing up at Jimin’s stage and him refusing to go see Jimin perform even after Jimin asked. So let me ask you and many others who maybe didn’t notice this or find anything weird about it. So we’ve seen a pattern of all the members at some point showing up to support each other by surpring each other maybe during their practice, shooting or perfomance. Somehow there is always the element of suprise and that is exactly what V did with Jk too. So now, did no one find it weird that Jk had to ask or kinda tell Jimin that he wanted to go see him perform on stage? Why did he have to ask for Jimin’s permission b4 going to support him? Hobi didn’t, Suga didn’t, V didn’t none of the members asked for permission b4 to go support the others so why did Jk feel the need to ask Jimin if he could go see him perform? This was a lil weird to me at the time but I didn’t think much of it until after the flirty Live those two did few days ago. Jimin said he was going to go to Jk AFTER his promotions were over and it kinda seemed like JM was making all sorts of excuses not to go to Jk or not to let Jk go to him. I could be rambling idk but it got me thinking about 2 instances in the past. JM was trynna cook and Jk tried coming close but JM sent him away saying Jk made him nervous. Even when JM was recording Serendipity, he asked Jk to leave too cuz he couldn’t concentrate with Jk there. Are you picking up what i am putting down? What if Jk didn’t go see Jimin perform and had to ask Jimin if he could go see him perform cuz he knew that Jimin wouldn’t be want him there probably cuz him being there would make Jimin nervous or distract him somehow? Cuz I can’t think of any logical reason why Jk had to ask Jimin if he could go see him perform when he could have just surprised him like the rest. Also, think about it, Jk is just not an asshole who didn’t care to go support Jimin. Whether u think they are dating or not, Jk is not an asshole and he clearly loves Jimin and Jimin is clearly important to him. So how do u explain him not going to see Jimin perform? Same goes for Jimin. Everyone knows Jimin is one if the most supportive members of BTS. He shows up for EVERYONE! Didn’t anyone find it strange that he didn’t go watch Jk perform too? I have no doubt that he would have showed up if it was anyone else, so why didn’t he show up for Jk? There are patterns being broken here and only when it comes to Jikook. I can’t place my finger on it, but certain things they do just don’t make alot of sense.

What is my point? My point is, I don’t think Jk not going to see JM perform was his choice! And I believe so because he didn’t have to ask for Jimin’s permission b4 going to support him. If he felt the need to ask, that tells me he kinda already knew that for some reason, Jimin might not want him there, and it was also weird that he choose to ask Live where maybe he felt like Jimin wouldn’t be able to say no! We all know damn well that so many jikookers would have stopped shipping Jikook since chapter 2 if we only had to depend on Jimin! Jk has been the only one holding this fort down! Jimin really doesn’t do anything to feed Jikookers. Also, we see how much Jk debunks Taekook all the damn time but he hasn’t in anyway tried to debunk Jikook, if anything he if feeding us fat! So that’s how i kinda know that Jimin is the one probably stopping many things from happening now. I don’t know his reasons but I honestly feel Jk is kinda done with this hiding shit. Anyways i just wanted to share my 2 cents. I haven’t ever seen anybody mentioning this so i just thought i’d see what u guys think about it.

I am with you 1300%

[fruitgummies01]

Broadly speaking, I think ships start with some cute moments and then once those crumbs get fewer and farther in between, the shippers become more toxic because they start relying on “analysis” and “theories” and then basically become self-sustaining in their beliefs. I'd say this is true for taekook shippers and becoming more recently true for jikook shippers.

Taekook has been the most popular ship for a looooooong time. The two of them were definitely closer when they were younger so i think thats where it started, but then as they got older, I think a lot of people found them attractive and then shipped together just because of that. For example, in my opinion, I think tae and jungkook have the most y/n solo fans of anyone in the group (I.e. fans who want to date them). Shipping weirdly lends itself to y/n (stands for “your name” and means fans who have self-insert fantasies) because it makes the men they find attractive unavailable to other people of the opposite sex for these fans.

So anyway, their closer friendship when they were younger plus the y/n dynamic led them to being the biggest ship. Overtime, I think most non-shippers could see they became less close or their friendship just changed, however, the shippers had to double down because they had already dumped so much time in the belief they were together. This then started the extreme theorizing and analyzing that we see now with taekook shippers. And as I said at the beginning, they are basically self-sustaining in their beliefs now. Like if tae and jungkook don’t interact, it’s because of the company. If they do, then it’s their real feelings. Similar with when they say something that goes against the shippers beliefs, well the company forced them to say it. Everything and nothing either tae and jungkook do feeds what they believe.

As for jikook, I think the hatred comes from the fact that so much of the fandom are taekook shippers (even if they don’t admit it) and because most of the fandom sees something intimate there as you stated. I’m not a shipper, but even I can see their relationship is unique. I don’t know why, I don’t know in what way, and quite frankly it’s none of my damn business. But I do see a LOT of the fandom shares similar feelings (even casual armys I know in real life) they just don’t indicate it on social media because of how prevalent taekook shippers are and being afraid of being seen as a shipper in general. I actually think even most taekook shippers see the uniqueness in jikooks friendship which is why they hate Jimin to such an extreme degree. Like they have actually built a narrative about jikook into their beliefs about taekook because it plays such a big role.

Also there is a prevalent ant-shipper movement in the fandom. While I do think there are a lot of people who are genuine, I do think because the fandom is so full of taekook shippers, the movement kind of got infiltrated by them and mostly became a don’t romanticize jikook specifically. I’ll see all kinds of hit tweets for other ships, but if an account even jokingly implied something about jikook they’d be called out for making the boys uncomfortable, etc. Like is said, I’m not a shipper so all the duos come across my timeline and I can see the difference in the engagement and interactions depending on the ship.

I will say though that despite jikook still coming off unique to me, I think jikook shippers took a similar turn in behavior to taekook shippers. Like the jikook tag on tumblr used to be a lot more chill. Occasionally a blog would get a popular cult like following doing “analysis” stuff but it’d usually get called out and disappear if they got too weird. After chapter 2 started and there were less crumbs publicly for jikook, I saw more of these cult like following “analysis” and “theory” blogs pop up in the tag and becoming more popular. I check in on the tags of most of my favorite duos for gifs and videos and stuff, but I probably have most of the jikook tag blocked for the way it became post-2022. It’s crazy to me that they have a whole travel show and yet I open the tag for cute stuff from the show and it’s full of negativity. Too many blogs stopped just enjoying them and became obsessed with making them fit into whatever shipper fantasy relationship they want them to have.

So anyway, there’s a quick rundown of the two biggest ships as I’ve seen it while being a fan for years. In general, I’d just try to enjoy them and the content on your own and avoid anything that gets into weird analysis and theory content (for any ship). Don’t be afraid to block people that make you uncomfortable or you feel like is overstepping the line. I’ve been enjoying every episode of Are You Sure and I plan to continue doing just that.

Had to take a short break on here because of all the negativity (so sorry for the delayed response :( ), but seriously thank you so much for this breakdown!! I feel like I'm discovering a whole new world being introduced to BTS and Jimin and Jungkook since they are my favs from the group so far (along with JHope), and Are You Sure is definitely giving me such a unique perspective into their bond!! I'm just so happy to be on this beautiful ride, and I also plan to continue enjoying the show too!! Yay US haha!!

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Anon, unless you are queer and in the closet, do not speak on Jimin's actions of how open or not he is, regarding Jk. To insinuate because Jimin use to overshare about him and Jk & now he isn't, means we are making excuses cause he is not feeding us? How disrespectful of you to claim anything Jimin does with Jk is feeding us? That is someone he loves and has known for years. He doesn't interact with Jk to please us and feed us. Did it ever occur to you that the hate & bullying has multiplied on Jimin, regarding Jk? So yeah, it will make someone hold back, cause sometimes you have to put your mental health first. You think the targeting doesn't hurt Jimin? You think he likes seeing Jk hang out with Mingyu or go to a premiere with Tae and his friends and its celebrated, where as, he interacts with Jk in anyway, its endless targeting, name calling and horrible allegations. To be honest, I would probably become withdrawn publicly, too.

Taekook have nothing to hide, anon. Nothing to feel exposed over when together. Tae knows everyone knows he is dating Jennie. Meanwhile, Jikook has this question mark over them that has never gone away. In the past they were younger and didn't care, when you are older, you do. And also don't get this twisted anon. Jk wants to spend time with Jimin, OPENLY. Why do you think he is trying so damn hard to make that live happen? What, you think he's trying to just hang with Jimin and Jimin don't want too or doesn't make time for him? Or could it be Jimin does make time for him and spend time with him, but he has been super private about it and Jk is tired of hiding it and this is why Jk is pushing so hard all year? He has offered, chiken, beer, his half naked body, boxing, 19 comments in Jimin's live & several Jimin focused lives, trying to lure Jimin. You name it. Jk has pulled out all the stops. So Jimin has an open invite to hang with Jk whenever he pleases and Jimin knows that and Jk also wants US to know that.

This is regarding this ask:

Hello,

Exactly! Neither one is in a position to expose their relationship at the moment. But I do think they test the limits to see how far they can go and then quiet down again.

I find it weird how people really want jikook to reveal their realness or for Jimin or Jk to give a clear indication of their relationship when even Taennie is not held to such a high standard. And that's Taennie being a completely "normal" relationship in the eyes of Koreans.

There are various factors to consider when questioning why jikook are open or not.

Being queer is one of them.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[koomiyah]

Taekookers saw two tall handsome men and decided to ship them. They then watched youtube videos where they are portrayed as toxic couple, always jealous, one is cheating, the other is hurt, their friend is a home wrecker, no honesty, no respect and they liked it. It's like they found a real Wattpad story.

You know how people in general have this mindset that they love to come up with things that can make them have the full control over?The problem starts with creating things revolving around something that has already happened in the certain way which makes people uncomfortable. I will mostly refer to the shipping culture (and will compare stuff to books and fanfics) in this post because that’s how it usually looks like for taekookers.

Imagine that you and your friend group have always shipped one of your friends with a guy that hangs out with you from time to time. They were fitting each other well visually and it was fun for you to come up with the funny stories about them. But one day that friend of yours got into a relationship. After they start dating someone else, you and your friend group would most likely feel uncomfortable to continue shipping them with that guy because they now have someone else. It would be weird and disrespectful to them and their partner.

It’s like when you’re reading a fanfic or a book and the two main characters start dating really fast as the story progresses and the writer loses the previous sense and logic of the plot. You don’t feel the need to keep reading because it’s not amusing or interesting. And because taekookers are people who do not take it seriously (they are shippers, not supporters) they see Taehyung and Jungkook as objects of their imagination.

Deep down they know what they say is not real anyways so they treat it as an amusing thing for fun. That’s where their problem with jikook begins. They know there’s something different about them and probably unconsciously they see it the way we do but don’t realize it - but that’s the thing. It’s not what they want. Because admitting that jimin and jungkook *can* possibly be together or have feelings for each other means that their story has already happened in a certain way. They want drama, creative plots, scandals etc and not the friends to lovers irl trope.

With Taehyung and Jungkook - many of them knows that those two aren’t together. But they are both handsome and hot, they fit well in their imaginations so it’s like they have an empty canvas. No matter what they come up with.. that thing will always (generally) have a possibility of happening because jk and taehyung’s story was not written in that certain way. They are friends and bandmates so there are endless possibilities of multiple narratives and stories about their developing bond. it’s like they are using the boys as characters to create the ideal version of their reality. Just like you said - a real life fanfic.

And unfortunately this behavior caused that many of young people and new armys that just recently joined the fandom truly start to believe what taekookers have been coming up with. If you believe in something so damn much and later you realize you’ve actually been lied to.. that’s extremely hard. So when someone is trying to ruin that reality for them, they go crazy and start acting insane.

Many of those people often run away to that fake reality because of the things they deal with in real life. So when something is crushing that reality, they hold on to that the tightest they can. That’s why they come up with debunking threads, that’s why they will do everything to prove those videos of Taehyung and Jennie are cosplayers - even if they don’t believe that themselves. As long as they are deluded, it’s what is giving them the power and happiness.

Our boys are humans. Real people. Not characters from manga that get monthly updates. We can’t just create our own version of their reality using them as the representative characters in our story. What we CAN do is support them and cherish the accurate and real dynamic of their bonds. It doesn’t need analysis. It doesn’t need fake narratives. It’s all there for you to see.

[jiminguuk]

Very long post ahead because I’m very irritated by the state of this tag. I have some thoughts. I wasn’t even going to say anything and just lurk, but Jungkook and Jimin have a very special place in my heart and I’m pissed

I think we as a society need to understand that shipping ≠ reality.

I know it’s easy to get caught up in the moments, the “evidence”, the chemistry. But you have to have a healthy dose of respect/common decency.

For example, when Taehyung said that thing to that taekooker (you know what I’m talking about). If I was clocked by bts in that regard I’d pass away. There is a line and you shouldn’t cross it.

As for the video, I’m skeptical of its legitimacy, but I’m not opposed to the idea of it being real. There’s absolutely no way of knowing if it’s true or fake without confirmation. Honestly, I think HYbe will probably ignore it and I know someone will say “it’s very telling they didn’t say anything” but really, it’s so fucking stupid.

1. The video was released very close to a release of a song (seems to be a trend) and my god that song should be the focus not the goddamn video. Whoever, whether true or not, got what they wanted.

2. It’s is insane the lengths people went through to prove it’s legitimacy/Debunk. It’s creepy, it’s terrifying. Imagine you’re Jungkook minding your business and seeing some ARMY in Ohio going through every inch of your apartment you’ve shown to prove it’s you in a grainy 144p video. What the fuck.

3. Hot Take Ahead: I’ve seen a lot of anons on different accounts asking questions/saying theories about jikooks relationship/status. Literally, what kind of fanfictional life do you think they live? “Oh I think it’s an open relationship, I think they broke up :/, it’s possible they are separated but still together” These are grown men. Who the hell cares besides Jimin and Jungkook. Who the fuck are you to dissect their entire bond to pinpoint moments you felt they may have been on “a break”. Have you thought perhaps, I don’t know, people are busy and are unable to interact the same way they did in 2015-2019? Or maybe they aren’t around each other as much in front of cameras? Their private lives, together or not, in a relationship or not is none of our business. It is so weird to me to make these kind of claims based on interactions you see/don’t see anymore. It’s like some people think it’s a damn show. Something I always enjoyed about Jikook is how close, cute and questionable they are. But not once have I thought to track their entire “relationship” and think “oh this is when they broke up” it’s literally a ship. It’s a pairing. I’m also a Yoonjin enthusiast and I have yet to see any kind of comments similar to the ones about Jikook. Shipping is supposed to be fun. It shouldn’t be dissected and analyzed to fit a narrative.

4. If I have to see one more post about JK being a fuck boy/ disrespectful to women or Jimin being heartbroken I’ll pull my hair out. How do you know? Song lyrics? Really? You think every single thing is connected to each other? It can’t be separate? Could Jimin be singing about a past relationship he was in not related to JK? Could JK’s songs be written for a western audience that thrives on that type of music? It would be great if we could separate art from ships. Not everything is about the ship, because quite frankly, I doubt they even think about it when creating shit. (I will say I did lose my mind over that JM tattoo in the seven MV lmafo, but that was because whenever I see it I gasp. I know the tattoo has been debunked or whatever but god it gets me in the feels) It’s must be so frustrating to be tied to a ship whenever you create a piece of art.

5. I’ll forever be a jikooker at heart for the fact I absolutely adore the pairing/ship. But I’m not going to sit here and pretend that they owe me the satisfaction of being true. I will take my crumbs and be happy because, really, that’s what it’s for. Everything from hickey gate to the fish in the clouds to the traveling around the globe for a birthday. Until proven otherwise, I’ll always have 👀 on them and continue to be a supporter but I’m not going to thrust my hand into believing that they are 100% together because I have absolutely no way of knowing it’s a fact.

Finally: 1. Who ft. Jikook never got the attention it deserved 2. Jimin is literally God reincarnated 3. Yoonjin is so Cam/Mitchell, Rei/Kazuki, Gojo/Nanami coded. Prove me wrong.

[kookiecrush]

Jk joking about the suchwita episode getting more views after Tae joined is a good example of taekook's popularity and why it's so damn weird that's bighit never capitalized off of their 🚢

Why on earth would the company not take advantage of taekook's popularity? It makes no sense at all. Taekook are a very powerful ship and yet BH decided the best course of action would be to reduce their interactions and content rather than maximise them.

[akookminsupporter]

I got on reddit a couple of months ago and I discovered that while many people are neutral about bts or even dislike them, most of them are really polite and nice about it, and most discourse about bts is in a positive or neutral light. It's not like twitter where they call them flops in every 2 tweets. So it's similar to tumblr because people can have normal conversations (most of the time) about kpop groups there. Of course there are trolls and straight up haters there too but they either get downvoted very hard or deleted so it's I think better. Anyway my point is that I go on reddit today to see what people are talking about because I only check reddit like 2-3 times a week. And the first post is literally someone asking why bighit is pushing jikook out of all the ships.. And I just sat here blinking at the screen because... Really? We are having this conversation AGAIN? It wasn't even in the bangtan channel/sub, it was in a kpop sub where you can talk about any group. But then I read the whole post and it was very clear OP was one of those people who don't watch official content and just lives off of clips that are posted in the first 24 hours. There are not a lot of comments right now but all of them are very normal and lowkey calling out OP for being stupid so I upvoted all of them 😂

But like every fucking time a DVD comes out and we have footage from multiple days or even months and we see jikook hanging out and do their thing, EVERY DAMN TIME we have this same ass conversation. Every time it's fanservice every time it's "why are they together" every time it's "why is bh pushing them" MF IT'S BEEN YEARS OF THIS. Don't these people think that if you see them, CONSISTENTLY hang out with each other EVERY YEAR, don't you think that maybe... Just maybe they like hanging out and being in each others company???

Even if you take shipping completely out of the picture. Like don't you think its fucking weird to see two people who have known each other for 11 years, went through some insane shit together and even more that WE as FANS probably don't even know about, they clearly support and love each other and like hanging out with each other... And then you go on social media and tweet: "why do people, who are friends, spend time together?" DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF. I need someone to go up to these people when they are out with their friends and ask them if they secretly hate each other and only hang out just to please their parents or something.

You don't need to ship jikook to see they like each other. You don't need to ship taekook to see they like each other. You don't need to ship anyone in bangtan to see that they love each other to the moon and back. These men are in each others asses 24/7 but sure, the company is pushing them to do fanservice because they don't make enough money or something. Whether you (not you specifically) think jikook or taekook or yoonmin or anyone is dating or not, that's your business. If you ship them, you ship them, if you don't, you don't. But you literally cannot fucking walk up to me, look me in the eye and tell me they don't like each other. These boys are first and foremost FRIENDS And if you see any of them together, it's because THEY WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH EACH OTHER.

I don't know why it's so hard for some people to understand this. Maybe because fanservice is a normal? thing in Korea and I'm sure many groups are doing it. But I checked OPs post and comment history and they follow bts for a while now so they have to know that the tannies have moved past/moved away from doing typical kpop things loooooong ago. They are not your typical kpop group. Two members hanging out with each other in front of or behind camera is not fanservice. Can we fucking wrap this conversation up already, I'm so bored of seeing this being brought up every year. Sorry for the long essay 😔

When it comes to Jimin and Jungkook, people would always prefer to believe anything but the truth, reality and what they themselves say. Wait till whatever they are doing comes out, it will be all this again and even worse.

Opinions.

[peachjagiya]

maybe i will get in trouble for this but i don't like the fact that bh pushes jkk so much like every unit photoshoot, every bts thing, even in this damn drama theyre "paired" together, i don't mind it sometimes but everytime???? like everytime. i mean to me it doesn't really make sense cuz if you want money and engagement wouldn't it make sense to pair up tae and jk - the two most popular kpop idols - together?? i don't know what exactly is bh's agenda here

im so confused how to feel about this because on one hand, the general army consensus is that jkk are the closest cuz you see them together all the time and they also "enlisted together" and thats fine i feel in a way that protects tkk you know keeps them away from the limelight and risks but on the other hand, you see all these dumbos claiming that tkk are not close at all and they have grown distant or whatever. it is sooooo. annoying.

You're not in trouble with me.

I don't know what the deal is. Maybe they are protecting Taekook. That's the optimistic wide-eyed take.

Maybe it's something else. Recent focus on how Tae was negatively singled out and manipulated whilst a minor by B4ng PD makes me wonder if it isn't just as simple as he didn't want Tae to be as popular as he is. 🤷 So why would he pair him with JK, you know?

Isn't there a quote from JK about wishing they could mix the subunits up a bit? Or did I get tricked by fandom or false subs again?

I dunno, all theories feel delulu. But I can definitely feel my weird little brain planning to go through the album photobooks and trying to work out actual distribution of subunits. 😂

Side note/plus side: I noticed recently there's a decent number of Taegi subunit photoshoots. My favourite non-shippy duo ☺️😍