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lisired · 10 months ago

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where angels fear to tread

pairing: jaehyun x (f) reader

genre/warnings: fwb to lovers, fluff, implied smut, angst

summary: Three years ago, you had a summer fling with Jung Jaehyun, and what was simply sex turned into more after you caught feelings for him. Then, you find out he has a girlfriend, and decide to call it quits. Three years later, he's back in town, trying to come back in your life, and most importantly trying to come back into your heart, but you're a little hesitant to let him.

word count: 14.5k

a/n: i think this was my first jaehyun fic? LOL… as always, feedback is appreciated!

“Not fair.”

“It’s very much fair, Jaemin.”

“How come the blueberry head gives you shit on the house? I asked him for a free coffee and he told me the only way I was getting coffee for free was if he splashed it on my face. Very unprofessional. I demand the manager.”

You want to tell him that the manager would just suck up to Taeyong in private because the customer is always wrong, but something in you tells you to be quiet.

“Saved his life,” you shrug, digging a fork into your pie.

“Saved his life?” Jaemin repeats, wide-eyed, “you just said that like it was the most normal thing ever.”

“I don’t think he would have actually died,” you mutter, but decide to tell the tale anyway, “You remember when I told you I was taking a two-week vacation out of town because Yeri invited me and some of her friends to her stepdad’s beach house?” Jaemin nods, “Well Taeyong was one of those friends. Saved him from drowning in the pool, and ever since he thinks he owes me his life, so he gives me a lifetime worth of stuff on the house.”

You consider Jaemin your best friend, although him not physically being with you for the past two years was the reason why he’s unaware of some minor details of your life during those years. Of course, he knew about the vacation—you had so much fun that you told him nearly every damn detail of it—but there was still some things you kept to yourself. Such as how you saved Taeyong from drowning. You thought that you’d look like a praise-seeker for bringing that up anyway.

You scan the room for Taeyong (the blueberry head) and once your eyes find him, you wave and wink. He waves back and smiles bashfully, before tending to one of his customers. You also think that Taeyong might have a little crush on you, but that’s not relevant at the moment.

“Oh wow. I guess not all heroes wear capes. Some heroes wear pie crumbs on their mouths.”

You wipe the corner of your mouth with a napkin then squeeze it into a ball to throw at Jaemin, making him gasp dramatically and start rambling about how you shouldn’t treat the best friend you haven’t seen in two years like this, but the chime of the cafe door distracts you. Your face falls in horror, and you’re still as a statue as it all races back. The pain, the memories, the emotions, everything you gave him that you can’t take back.

“I have to go,” you say, but Jaemin grabs your wrist.

His voice is filled to the brim with concern, “What’s wrong?”

Where you do even start? You sigh, ducking your head on the table in an attempt to cover your face the best that you can. The past is intertwining with the present and you do not enjoy it one bit. Fortunately, he sits away from you and doesn’t seem to acknowledge your presence in the room, but it’s just your luck that for the first time you’re seeing him in almost two years, he chooses to show up right here, right now.

“See that guy that just walked in?”

Jaemin nods with reluctance, subtly scanning said guy with his eyes, “Yeah, what about him?”

With a deep breath, you brace yourself for uncovering a part of your past that you’d rather keep ancient history, “Remember that fling I told you about from the vacation? That was him. And I never told you this, but we didn’t exactly end on the best of terms. I called it quits when I found out that he had a girlfriend.”

Another one of the vay-cay details that you kept to yourself. Technically, you did tell him about the fling, but it was nothing too specific aside from the fact that you were getting dicked down. You never told him about the way things abruptly ended, and you sure as hell never told him that you caught feelings for a cheater.

Jaemin’s face falls, and you’re not sure why. You think that he’s offended because you never told him about something so huge (and he is, but the two of you have bigger fish to fry at the moment so he decides it best to complain later).

Eyebrows furrowed, you ask, “What’s wrong?”

“Jaehyun is…” he pauses, and your lips part to ask how he knows his name until, “Jaehyun is my roommate.”

If you had the energy, you would sigh. Of course, Jaehyun also happens to move back in town and ultimately transfer back into your college for the second semester. You had to be a criminal in your past life, what else could you have possibly done to deserve something like this?

Taeyong walks over to your table, wearing a discontent frown, “Jaehyun’s here, do you want me to distract him so that you can leave without him noticing?”

“No way the blueberry head knew about this before me.” Ah, there it goes.

Taeyong glares, but he doesn’t say anything, instead locking his eyes on you to catch your response and his face softens when he does.

“Please,” you sigh in relief, “Thanks Tae, you’re a lifesaver.”

Taeyong smiles at the weight of your words, “It’s the least I could do. Now you two get out of here.”

It isn’t something that you need to be told twice, Taeyong goes to distract Jaehyun and you two bolt the fuck out of there. Though even out of sight, Jaehyun isn’t out of mind. In the beginning you knew it was nothing serious, Jaehyun had other girls that he fucked. But the fact that he was cheating on some poor, innocent girl was more then you could handle, and it would be selfish of you to risk getting caught up in that mess.

For a while, you and Jaemin ride in near silence. It’s your car, but he claims you aren’t in the right headspace to drive and you didn’t argue. You don’t feel the best at the moment.

“Is this a bad time to invite you to my roommate’s Summer Break Kick-off party this Friday,” Jaemin asks over the radio, his voice cutting through the SHINee song playing lowly.

“Kinda,” you snort. “Is he coming?”

“Probably, yeah. I mean, he was invited. But my roommate’s other house is pretty big it’s been forever since we last partied.”

You blink. Why does your roommate…

“Don’t question it. I don’t know either.”

You fight the urge to laugh. Instead, you weigh out the pros and cons. Technically, you and Jaemin could always find another place to party if you wanted to so bad, and even if the house was big, there’s still a fair chance of you running into the one man you dread ever seeing again. You aren’t too sure if that’s something that you’re ready to risk right now.

You sigh again, pressing your face against the car window. “I’ll think about it.”

You haven’t stepped foot in a place this expensive-looking since Yeri invited you on that little summer vacation to her stepdad’s beach house (two years ago.)

Jaemin somehow managed to convince you to show up by pinky promising to do a week’s worth of your assignments next semester, and you’d be a fool for turning that offer down. It isn’t clear from the outside, but academically Jaemin is sharp. So now, you’re searching for Jaemin in a sea full of red plastic cups. He was right, the house is humongous, and now you’re really beginning to question why someone with this kind of fortune at their fingertips lives with three presumably broke college students.

At least they’re playing SHINee. That way you can sing along to your favorite boy band while you simultaneously search for your best friend.

It might be harder for him to spot you. You chose to wear something dull, deciding against standing out too much just in case Jaehyun wanted confrontation, so looking for you is like searching for a needle in a haystack. You two could have just spent the night karaoking with Jaemin in your living room just like the good ‘ole days, for heavens sake.

Na Jaemin, when I find you, you groan. He doesn’t answer your calls or texts, and just for this you should make him do your homework for two weeks. Three if you bump into Jaehyun. You stop at an empty spot to catch your breath.

“God, what are these guys’ parents? The CEO’s of Samsung?” you mutter, to yourself.

“Aw, so close.”

Not expecting an actual answer, you jump and turn in the direction of the voice. You find a tall, handsome man smiling at you. His teeth are so white that it looks like he eats Colgate for breakfast.

“Kai, I’m the host of the party,” he grins, yet then his expression falters, “do I know you from somewhere?”

“I was thinking the same thing!” You laugh, analyzing his face. He does look a bit familiar.

You tell him your name, and the way he repeats it once more then blinks a few times concerns you a little. It’s not that you have a bad reputation, but did he know you from something bad?

His eyes widen. “You’re Johnny’s ex-girlfriend.”

That, you are. Back in high school you and Johnny dated for some time, broke up after a while since you drifted apart from one another, but agreed to stay friends so you’re both cool. You’re relieved that’s all, but you still don’t remember where you know Kai from, and you’re almost one-hundred percent sure it isn’t high school. You don’t even think you went two to the same high school.

“That’s me,” you confirm with a nod, “I still don’t know where I remember you from, though.”

If this were a cartoon, Kai would have a thought bubble above his head, and moments later it would transform into a lightbulb, “Are you friend’s with Yeri?” he guesses, and you nod, “she’s my step-sister. She probably told you about me.”

Oh. Well now the dots are connecting. Yeri did in fact tell you about him, mentioning that his family is the one her mom married into when explaining how filthily rich she became—because her brand new step-dad is indeed a CEO.

You make an O with your mouth, “Small world.”

“I know, right?” Kai, or as you know him from Yeri (also why you didn’t recognize him immediately), Jongin, laughs, “Care to dance?”

At that, you frown, “I’d love to, but I should really find Jaemin. He’s my best friend and we’re supposed to be spending time together because he just moved back in town recently.”

Kai looks a little sad by the rejection but handles it well, nodding in understanding, “Good luck. Last time I saw him he was over there,” he points, “losing a drinking game.”

That could mean nothing good. That meant wherever he was, Jaemin was more than likely going to be shitfaced by the end of the night. You sigh internally, almost wishing he’d go back to being the shy and introverted boy you knew in high school.

You met Jaemin in your sophomore year, at a party his friends forced him to go to, and you had a couple of mutual friends, but until then you two were nothing more than strangers. Speaking of which, that’s how you bonded, even though it was a fight getting him to say more than five words at a time. You were sure your friends Sicheng and Yuta had a thing for each other, whereas he hadn’t suspected a thing. So you made a bet, and only a couple minutes later, they were found making out against a wall. He owed you 50 bucks.

When Jaemin is still no where to be find, you’re ready to cave in to defeat. You feel like you’re in a maze, walking around in circles and it shows in the ache in your feet. You’re about to give up and turn around, until you walk into something, or someone, and all audible to you is the sound of splashing before someone yells shit, I’m sorry!

Oh, you’ll make sure they’re sorry. You’re not sure what you should focus on. How your top is now soaked, or how familiar their voice is. Until you look back up and see a walking, breathing and unfortunately talking, nightmare.

He calls out your name.

Like before, you turn and walk away.

He says it again, louder, and follows you.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Jaehyun.”

Still, he tails behind you like a lost puppy, despite you obviously trying to stay far, far away, “Can’t you hear me out? It’s been two years.”

“Two very peaceful years,” you stop dead in your tracks and finally turn to face him. It hurts you to look at his face, because the memories wash over you like waves, yet you do it anyways. You want to show him that you’re strong without him, not weakness and vulnerability, “and I told you two years ago that I want nothing to do with you.”

Jaehyun’s no good for you, you know that. You know that all he’s ever wanted to do is get inside your pants, that he’s never cared for you. So why are you tempted to hear him out?

No, you refuse, you will not let nostalgia win you over. That’s all it is. You miss what you had, but you don’t know if you miss him as a person.

“At least let me help you dry your shirt, it’s my fault that it’s ruined,” he tries again, but you’re hell-bent on making him feel as miserable as he did you.

“No.”

“Y/n—”

“No means no, Jaehyun,” another voice cuts in, and while it isn’t the one you’ve been looking for, you’re thankful nonetheless. Beside you stands Kai, tall, angry, and intimidating, “you gonna make her tell you to fuck off?”

Jaehyun glances at you, and you see the emotion in his eyes, but you don’t fall for them. Not anymore. He’s already caused your heart to feel enough pain that you can’t bother to try and carry the burden that is his own. So he gives up and walks off, finally leaving you alone.

And you let out an exhausted breath.

“Show’s over, mind your business,” Kai tells the audience you hadn’t even known formed, and not willing to risk going against him, everyone returns to their previous activity. He looks at you, and all the anger is washed with concern. “You okay?”

Are you okay? You don’t know anymore. Nostalgia is kicking your ass, and though you try not to think about him, you can’t help but reminisce.

“Yeah,” you say, but you’re not too sure. “Thanks. A lot.”

Kai shrugs, “No biggie. Do you think you and Yeri match sizes? You can use the bathroom in my bedroom to change because no one’s dumb enough to go in there.”

You sigh in relief. Chivalry isn’t dead. “Yes. Thank you.”

Kai leads you upstairs to Yeri’s room, or at least the one she stays in when she’s here, and let’s you choose a shirt. It isn’t an easy decision with Yeri being the epitome of fashion, but you pick quickly to spare Kai’s time, even though he tells you that he doesn’t mind. He then takes you to the bathroom in his room because according to him, Yeri’s one is under repair.

Even though Kai is guarding the door with his life and you know he wouldn’t just barge in there without your say-so, you lock the door. You meet your gaze in the mirror, eyeing yourself closely. Everyone is insecure sometimes, but after things ended between you and Jaehyun, you were extremely self-conscious for months.

To anyone who had never been in your shoes, it might’ve made more sense than anything for you to feel better about yourself knowing that even though Jaehyun had a girl, he kept coming back to you. Yet who’s to say you were the only one? To this day, you’re still convinced that the only reason he keeps trying to win you back is because him losing you plus you being the one to end it put a major dent in his ego.

You hate that he had that kind of power over you, to the point where he made you hate yourself. You hate that a man like him made you cry so many goddamn tears and now he expects you to dry his own.

Reminding yourself that Kai is waiting, you tear your gaze from your own before tears have the chance to spill, and wipe yourself dry so that you can put on your - or Yeri’s - shirt. Now that you think about it, it’s too cute to return. You might take it. She’s too rich to notice, and even if she does, she’s still rich. She can easily replace it.

Kai greets you with a smile as you step back inside his room, and you find yourself smiling back at him. He’s been treating you so kindly this whole time, and now that you think about it, you’ve never heard a single bad thing about the man. Yeri clearly doesn’t mention him very often, but it’s never been anything bad when she does, and even when Jaemin was telling you about his roommates, he described Kai as “the funny one that called his mom a lot.”

“Ready to join the party?”

And then you frown. “I don’t know.”

Kai quirks a brow, “Well don’t tell me you look this good just to not show yourself off.”

Amused, you scoff. Kai’s been smooth from the beginning, yet now he’s unabashedly flirting with you. “Are you flirting with me, Kim Jongin?”

Confusion spells itself out on his face. You have never once said his name tonight, and the one time you do, it’s his government. “How do you know my name?”

“Yeri,” you shrug, “but if you want me to just call you Kai then I understand.”

“Well, usually I reserve my real name for my close friends and family,” he grins, and God he looks devilishly handsome when he does, “but it sounds so nice on your tongue that I’ll make an exception.”

It’s painfully obvious that you don’t know how to react, eyes a little round and your lips parting, yet nothing coming from in between. It makes Jongin laugh.

“And yes, I was flirting with you,” he winks, “but anyways, if you really don’t wanna go back out there, which is totally fine, we can just chill in here. You seem like a nice person, and I’d like to get to know you.”

“Get to know me?” You quip, finding enough balance to play into his game after being knocked down by his charm briefly, “or my body?”

He arches a brow in amusement. “That feels like a trick question.”

You shrug. “Be honest. I might feel the same way.”

Maybe it’s a good thing that tonight didn’t go as planned. Kai’s had you since the moment he introduced himself, and it seems every five minutes he gets better.

“Well, I don’t see why I can’t multitask,” He purrs, taking your words as an invitation. An invitation that he was accepting.

You giggle. He eyes you gently, noticing the way you slowly inch closer to him, “I like you.”

It’s an initiation, turning the keys and putting the car in drive, and you want to see if Jongin will take the wheel. And it seems that to your fortune, he does.

“Guess it’s a good thing I like you, too.” Jongin chuckles, and he’s so close. You can feel his breath on your skin, tickling your neck, and it makes something in you crawl with arousal.

And the gap between you closes.

You already liked Kai last night, but you definitely like him this morning.

You woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, and not just any kind of pancakes, but chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite. If anything can make you like someone, it’s chocolate chip pancakes.

“How’d you know chocolate chip was my fave?” you giggle, not expecting a serious response, but after the whole scenario with him yesterday, you should have already known he would have one.

“Yerim’s told me about you, too, you know,” Jongin replies, “It wasn’t even too long ago, it was winter break. We were all staying at my dad’s house for a couple of days, and she invited you over one morning. Everyone was gone but me and her when I went downstairs, and I saw her making chocolate chip pancakes. It blew me, because she’s an avid hater of chocolate. Then she told me they were for her best friend, because you love them, and after last night I learned that the best friend in question happened to be you.”

You and Jongin learned a lot about one another last evening. After you had sex, you didn’t expect to hit it off like you did, yet you spent a great deal of the night talking on his silk sheets. For starters, he’s a wonderful man. Funny, polite, respectful, thoughtful, caring, and he has an amazing personality. The sole flaw you could find in him was that he likes Hawaiian pizza. What kind of sick person enjoys Hawaiian pizza?

And you fell asleep in his arms. It was perfect, almost too good to be true. You considered the possibility of a relationship with him, you enjoyed his company and he was shameless to admit that he enjoyed yours. And yet still, you couldn’t help but think of Jaehyun.

The way he had also made you feel the same way, all those years ago. How he never fucked you and then shoved you away, but he talked to you until the sun came up, or spooned you to sleep. It was ridiculous, and you can’t believe that one encounter with Jaehyun had you acting like a teenager in love for the first time again. Not to mention the encounter in question was horrible. Jaehyun isn’t good for you, but for some reason your heart seems to still want him.

“If you want know so bad, just ask.”

“What?” Kai blinks, unaware that you’ve noticed the way he looks at you, not just now but ever since that encounter with Jaehyun. The longing in his eyes to say something, yet he resisted.

“I know you’re curious about me and Jaehyun,” truth be told, it isn’t just for him, but for you. Maybe if you remind yourself of what Jaehyun’s done to you, hear it aloud, you’ll snap out of it and shake this weird feeling. “So go ahead. Ask.”

Jongin’s surprised at how well you read him, and you can only hope that he doesn’t read you just as well.

“I figured you didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.” How utterly Kai of him. And honestly, he’s right. You don’t want to, but at this point it’s a need.

“It’s okay,” you assure.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s okay, you know. I understa—”

“Kim Jongin,” you say, and he pauses, a part of being because he still hasn’t gotten used to you calling him by his government name, yet he loves it when you do, “I am not about to beg you to ask me. I promise you, it’s alright.”

Jongin hesitates, but gives in reluctantly, “Okay, so… what happened for Jaehyun to be so intent on talking to you last night? Break-up?”

“Not really,” you say, trying to keep your voice level and flat. You weren’t the girl Jaehyun was in a relationship with, “It wasn’t a romantic relationship. Just sex, no strings attached.”

Jongin nods, “Ah, so a fling?”

“Mm-hm. I met him when Yeri invited her best friends to your dad’s beach house for a fun summer vacation during break. We hit it off well and it wasn’t much longer that he had me in his sheets. It really was fun, so we agreed to keep fucking around. And then some months later, I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time.”

He makes an understanding face, familiar with Yeri’s Pal-Cations (as she likes to call them.)

“Yerim didn’t tell you he was dating someone?”

“No one knew about us. He wanted to keep things secret,” you chuckle softly, “and that’s when I found out why.”

Silence falls over Jongin, and you sit there and let him ponder. Being able to say it all like this makes it seem so simple, and perhaps it should be. Jaehyun fucked up, and you owe him nothing. If he broke up with his girlfriend, maybe things would have been different, but he didn’t and that’s why he should leave you alone.

“Do you think he’s changed?” You shouldn’t ask. It doesn’t matter what Kai thinks, he doesn’t know Jaehyun like you do and he hasn’t known him for nearly as long. His opinion doesn’t matter.

Kai blinks. “I mean, you know what they say. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

“But I’m asking for your opinion.”

You’ve never seen Kai so speechless. He’s always had something on the tip of his tongue, always. That’s when you consider that you’re probably dumping a shit ton of unwarranted info on him, especially since you had to practically coerce him into even asking you about Jaehyun. Before you have the chance to apologize, he answers.

“I don’t know him nearly as well as you probably do, but from what I’ve seen in the past 2 weeks, he’s nothing like some stupid, immature fuck boy. He carries himself well, cracks his jokes but he’s respectful and doesn’t push his limits, and I’ve never seen him with a girl,” Jongin says. “Come to think of it, he’s single. The boys discussed our dating situations and relationship statuses just so that we wouldn’t be surprised if we got up in the middle of the night and saw some stranger. Said he was single and wasn’t looking for sex.”

And you sigh in defeat, because the only thing that’s changed about Jaehyun according to that description is that he’s apparently single now and isn’t looking for sex.

Or maybe he was some stupid, immature fuckboy. You don’t know. And ever since you found out about her, you haven’t been sure if you’ve ever known him like you thought you did. You haven’t been sure about anything.

“Do you want him back?”

The questions catchs you off-guard. It isn’t exactly new, but you’ve never had anyone ask you this other than yourself. It’s all that you can think about. Do you really want him back? Or do you just miss what you had? What if it’s both?

“I don’t know,” you answer. And trust, you’ve been thinking about it since that whole ordeal at the café Monday. Even if you do, you shouldn’t. You don’t know Jaehyun’s motive, and there are plenty of other guys that can provide you everything he was giving you. One is literally looking you dead in the eye. He’s replaceable, you tell yourself. You don’t need him.

But that sure as hell has nothing to do with you wanting him.

“You don’t know?” Kai lifts his brow, “Or are you simply in denial?”

You feel like he’s your therapist, and the thought almost makes you laugh. Everything reminds you of Jaehyun. How sometimes, you’d play therapist for each other after you had sex, either directly afterwards or in the morning like now. It was so much more than sex, you think. To you, anyways. And that’s likely how you caught feelings.

Oh, dear god.

Even after two years, maybe those feelings you had for him still linger.

“I realized something,” you really don’t have to say anything, it’s written all over your face.

Jongin makes the conclusion, “You want him.”

Slowly, you nod. You think that you shouldn’t, but you do, and Jongin was right about you being in denial. You guess he really does read you just as well as you do him.

“I’m not gonna sit here and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do because it’s your choice to make at the end of the day, but let’s take everything into account,” Jongin starts, voice sterner than it’s been all morning, “I’m not saying age is an excuse, but he was eighteen. All eighteen-year-old boys are stupid. Take it from someone who’s been there. But he’s twenty-one now, and it’s been years. That’s plenty enough time for him to grow and change.”

You nod along. That’s true, and while you could never be too careful because who’s to say he’s changed, who’s to say he hasn’t?

Kai adds, “If you want to take the risk, take it. If you don’t, then don’t. He made an inexcusable mistake. But he’s human, and all humans make mistakes. You dont owe him anything, especially not forgiveness, but be a little open-minded.”

The decision is yours. You can hear Jaehyun out and try to salvage your relationship, or you can continue to shut him out. You don’t owe him a second chance, but god, you must admit that you’ve always secretly longed to give him one, just so that you could go back to what you had.

Whenever you contemplate giving him a second chance, you think about her. You try to put yourself in her shoes, wondering how she must’ve felt, if she ever knew that the man she loved was fucking around with another woman. Maybe that’s how they broke up. Days ago, the thought would have made you run further and further away from him. But now, it’s almost like you’re rooted in place, bumping into dead-ends.

If you were her, you’d be unforgiving. But you’re not her, you never will be her, and that makes you want to be a little more selfish.

That makes you want him.

“Thanks, Kai,” you say, truly grateful to have his unbiased opinion. Usually you wouldn’t trust people you met less than twenty-four hours ago with your personal business, but all the shit you and Kai exchanged last night makes you willing to permit an exception. And then, you feel bad because even after the kind things he’s done for you since last night, he’s still sitting here advising you on your complicated you-problems. “And I’m so sorry for dumping all my problems on you, you’ve been so sweet and the least I could do—”

“Hey, no worries. If you ever need to talk, I’m here,” Kai interjects, “and if you want me to do a bit of snooping around…”

You shake your head. “No way. You’ve already done enough for me, and I don’t want you to get caught up in my drama. I can handle it.”

“Sure, you can. But I don’t want a girl like you to wind up heartbroken, especially over a possible jackass, and at very least you should see if you can trust him before you, well, trust him,” As though he can sense you about to object, he adds, “No buts. I’m going to keep a few tabs on him and alert you if there’s anything suspicious.”

You sigh, and don’t argue because it’s obvious he isn’t changing his mind. You’re grateful.

You smile. “Thank you.”

“Of course. And if he breaks your heart, I’m here.”

You scoff, “Flirting with me again, Kim Jongin?”

“Oh, baby,” he growls, “Keep saying my name like that and I’ll make you forget he ever existed.”

Ten minutes ago, that would have been tempting. But now you know what you want, and you’re determined to have it.

Yeri thinks it’s a bad idea.

Taeyong thinks it’s terrible idea.

Jaemin thinks you’ve had better ideas, but he’s willing to cooperate nonetheless.

“I don’t get it,” Taeyong shakes his head, “That guy broke your heart.”

“He wasn’t trying to,” you mutter.

“And he still did, that’s the crazy part.”

“It was two years ago. To be fair, all of us were stupid at eighteen.”

“Not all of us were cheating on our partners with a girl we met on summer break, though,” Taeyong quips, incredulous that he’s even having this discussion with you. You’ve always been on the same page, what changed?

You groan, “God, Taeyong. Sure, he cheated. Duh, he was in the wrong. But it wasn’t me that he cheated on and it’s not like we were ever in a relationship. He couldn’t have known how I felt about him when I did everything in my power to hide my feelings. And what if he’s changed?”

“And what if he hasn’t?” Taeyong retorts quickly.

The silence in the room is deadly. Taeyong can’t believe that he’s having to talk some sense into you, all while your other two friends sit quietly observing your argument. Is he the only one thinking around here? Why aren’t they helping?

Then, Yeri speaks up from the other side of the room, “Instead of arguing, let’s just put Jaehyun to the test.”

“And how do you plan on going about that?” Taeyong grumbles.

“Letting her talk to him, dimwit, how else?” Yeri rolls her eyes, “I know that you probably think that allowing him within a ten-foot radius of her is going to break her heart, but you’re greatly underestimating my best friend’s strength. She isn’t stupid, she can identify red flags.”

“Ease up on the fighting words,” Jaemin chuckles, “but I dunno, Yeri’s right. The only way she’ll know if he’s changed is to see for herself. If she notices anything odd, she can give him the boot. It’s not rocket science.”

You glance at Taeyong. Truthfully, you don’t need his permission, and both of you know that. But it would be nice to feel validated by your best friends, especially the overprotective one.

Taeyong glances back at you, and his expression softens. He’s always had a soft spot for you, and it’s hard to tell you no. Plus, he doesn’t want to be the token villain when everyone else is telling you to go for it. To chase what you want.

And in all honesty, Taeyong wishes he could chase what he wants. But the last thing he is is selfish, so maybe now is the time he lets you go.

Finally, he groans, “Alright, fine. Whatever. Talk to Jaehyun, see if he’s really ready to commit. But if this guy breaks your heart, I’m going to quote-unquote accidentally spill the hottest coffee on his face, just to give him a taste of the fire that is hell, where he will burn for eternity.”

Jaemin shivers, having flashbacks to the first time he spoke to Taeyong, “You love a good coffee threat, don’t you? So many fighting words.”

Taeyong doesn’t reply, just glares at Jaemin sharply.

“Hostile, but I’m with him,” Yeri nods, “Mark my words, that man will die a slow, painful death if he makes one more mistake.”

“Yep!” Jaemin agrees, “Don’t worry, babes. We got your back.”

At that, you smile. Your friends are on your side. Now, here comes the real trouble.

Mustering the ability to talk to Jaehyun.

Fortunately, Yerim’s annual Pal-Cation was right around the corner, and would extend until the end of the week.

Last year, Jaehyun didn’t attend.

Correction: he wasn’t invited.

Yeri and Jaehyun haven’t been on amazing terms since she became aware of everything, which put a dent in their relationship. This year, she’s invited him in favor of playing Cupid.

You’re a little nervous, anxious about being in the same space as Jaehyun for more than three minutes after all these years. You’re scared and you’re not sure of what, because if Jaehyun’s really as changed as he implies he is, the result should be predictable.

Then again, you don’t really know Jaehyun’s reason for wanting to talk to you, and that makes you all the more panicked. Of course, he wants you to hear him out, but what does he want to come out of that? A second chance? At what?To you, your relationship was so much more than sex. But what if it wasn’t to him? What if he just wants to get inside your pants?

“Girl, please,” Jaemin scoffs, crashing against your hotel bed like he owns the place. He’s in comfortable awe, and probably wouldn’t think twice if someone told him the beds were made out of marshmallows, “you were defending his life choices like yesterday—god damn, these beds are soft—and now you’re having second thoughts? Since when do you back down from things?”

You throw a pillow at him, “I was not defending him!”

“I talked to him earlier, when he asked me if I was sure about wanting him here,” Yeri states, sitting on the seat in front of the mirror. “Told him that there’s no way in hell he’d be here right now if I didn’t want him to be. He laughed and promised me he wouldn’t do anything stupid, and I told him know, because if he does do something stupid it’s off with his motherfuckin’ head.”

Jaemin smiles, satisfied, “Yeah, that should do it. I’d be scared half to death, you could probably pay someone to kill him and no one would suspect a thing.”

“Enough about killing him,” you grimace, “I’m just, I dunno, nervous, I guess. What if he just wants to get in my pants?”

“Guess you better go found out, and tonight is the perfect opportunity. I reserved the pool, so we have the entire area to ourselves until midnight.”

“Yeah, and that wouldn’t be too bad anyways. When was the last time you got laid?” Jaemin adds.

You sneer and flip him off, “For your information, I got laid at that party Friday night when you left me for dead to go get drunk. And that’s why your ass was hungover. And Yeri, you never told me that your step-brother was so fucking hot.”

Yeri exclaims, “You slept with Jongin?”

“You slept with her brother?”

And that’s where you conclude that you’ve overshared, and it’s time for everyone to have some time to themselves, “Alright, everybody out,” you push and pull them both out, until they’re standing outside your door, “I’ll see you guys tonight.”

Then you shut the door, and lie on your bed, sighing with comfort. Jaemin’s right, the beds really are comfortable. You’re feeling drowsy already and decide to rest your eyes. There’s hours until it’s Pool Time.

Pool Time comes faster than you wished.

You’re antsy, but Yeri has SHINee’s Punch Drunk Love playing, so you feel more at ease. It also serves as a reminder that you’re going to need a drink or two to get through the night.

It doesn’t help that you had a dream about Jaehyun while you were trying to rest your eyes, about the night when you first you met him. You were at Yeri’s step-father’s beach house, and the dream was specifically when you made out in the middle of the pool. I’ll never let you drown, baby. You shake the memory away.

You glance around, and see everyone’s here. Yeri’s talking to her friend Mark who obviously has a crush on her, Jaemin’s engaging in conversation with Taeyong who for once doesn’t look like he wants to rip Jaemin’s head off, Yeri’s other friends are playing in the pool, and—Jaehyun.

Jaehyun’s seated at the bar, looking dead at you, which is exactly where you need to be but your lunch and your stomach seem to not be getting along suddenly. You tear your gaze, and glance back at Yeri. You need her help, one last push or words of encouragement, but you’re not selfish enough to interrupt Mark’s attempts at flirting with your friend and getting some.

Well fuck, you groan. You’re all alone this time, and deciding you look stupid standing there by yourself, you march to the bar and hoist yourself on the stool beside Jaehyun, ignoring the increasing speed of your heartbeat. It doesn’t help that this place only has two barstools.

“What can I get you, sweetheart?” The bartender asks you. She’s pretty, got long dark hair and a nice face. You wonder if Jaehyun flirting with her is the reason she’s been smiling so hard since before you sat down, trying to stifle a giggle.

And you frown at your own thoughts. Leave it to you to automatically assume the worst.

“No idea. Suprise me,” you sigh, and with a nod she gets to work.

It’s difficult, more like impossible to ignore Jaehyun’s presence beside you. He isn’t saying anything, isn’t doing anything as far as you can tell without looking at him, but the knowledge that he’s there has you on your toes.

The bartender brings back your drink, tells you to enjoy and you say thank you before having a taste. You need this before you dare say a word to him.

And then he dare speaks, “Hi.”

You can feel your heart racing and you don’t know why, but you do know that you don’t like it. There’s no reason to feel like this, you heard Jaehyun talk at the party. You somehow manage to chirp back quietly, “Hi.”

“Aren’t you gonna look at me?”

It feels like he’s challenging you, almost to say you’re too much of a pussy to look him dead in the face, and you know you’re more than likely making that up but Jaehyun’s the first person to know that you’re last person to back down from a challenge, so you do turn to look at him.

It takes everything in you to stay rational when you do. You get the chance to look at him, to really look at him, and you’re taken aback by his features. He looks the same, but different all at once, obviously a little older.

Beside you is no longer the teenage boy with the cute, high-pitched voice, but a man with a deep and matured sound to his voice. He’s smiling a little wildly at you. It’s the first time you’ve seen him smile in years.

You take a sip from your drink so that you don’t smile back and say, “I’m looking.”

“See something you like?”

“Nope,” you lie, as though you weren’t obvious checking him out seconds ago, “just you.”

“Aww, don’t be like that,” Jaehyun grins playfully, “smile a little, won’t you?”

“Let’s cut to the chase, Jaehyun,” you change the subject. You refuse to let his little games work on you. “Didn’t you want me to hear you out? Hop to it or I’m leaving.”

He blinks. “Here?”

Well no one can hear you other than the bartender, but it’s a personal issue that deserves the utmost privacy and it’s not like you’re willing to share your personal business with a stranger, so you agree to walk around the pool with him. Close enough so that you’re not bumping into walls, distant enough to not be overheard.

You glance at him, “So?”

Jaehyun sighs, “Rather than defending myself, I think I should apologize. For not telIing you I was in a relationship, for risking dragging you into drama, it was selfish. I was selfish.”

It was selfish. He couldn’t have been thinking of your feelings, or even her feelings.

“There’s no excuse for what I did, and I can’t imagine how belittled it made you feel. You don’t have to forgive me, and I know you’re probably gonna hate me forever for this and I don’t blame you. But I want you to know that I’m sorry,” he gives you those emotional eyes, the same dejected gleam in them, “Sincerely. And if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you…”

“Tell me why,” you want the answers that you’ve been searching for all these years. Not exactly closure, but you don’t want to live in doubt, wondering maybe you were never enough, and that’s why you were always the side piece.

“Why I did it?”

You nod, and he’s silent for a moment.

“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know why eighteen-year-old me did the shit I did, but I know that I did it and I can’t take it back. I’ve looked back so many times and I still can’t fathom…” Jaehyun trails off, then starts shaking his head, “you know what? Maybe I do know why.”

Don’t cry, you tell yourself. You’re stronger than this. You’re blinking back tears, attempting to keep your voice level as you whisper, “Why then, Jaehyun?”

“It’s not the shocking, life-changing reason I always thought it would be,” he chuckles sadly, “it’s because I was stupid. And careless. I wasn’t thinking, but at the same time I thought I had the world at my feet, and I guess I did but then I…” Jaehyun stops to take a breath after he realizes he’s rambling. “But then I lost you. And that’s when I realized that this, the lying, the cheating, the going behind your backs—it was stupid.”

“It was stupid,” you agree, and he laughs a little more. “But let me ask you one more thing…” you say. He doesn’t reply, but his eyes tell you to go ahead. “Did you love her?” Or did you love me?

Jaehyun nods lazily. “At one point.”

You bite your lip, unsatisfied.

“Did you love me?”

That catches him off-guard. You almost expect him to stop walking the way he’s frozen, and you feel your stomach churning in regret.

“Nevermind, forget I asked that—”

“When you first left, I was unaffected,” Jaehyun interjects. “Like I said, I thought I had the world at my feet, so I thought you were replaceable. I tried replacing you. But it wasn’t the same, no matter how many times I tried, it was never, ever the same,” his eyes muse at you, “No one looked at me the way you did, no one talked to me all night and made me laugh like you did, no one ran circles through my mind like you, no one was like you. So I knew I needed you back, but by the time I realized you were already gone. And that’s when I knew I had fucked up.”

He adds, “So, yeah. I did love you. Maybe it was at the wrong time, maybe it was too late for me to love you, maybe I wasn’t supposed to, but I did and I don’t think I’ve ever stopped.”

Jaehyun’s thumb runs over your eyes, wiping a string of tears that you hadn’t even know you cried. He doesn’t say anything about it, just pulls you closer to his chest.

“What about you?” He asks.

“What about me?”

“Did you love me?”

Now it’s your turn to freeze, and then you almost laugh. Of course, you loved him. You were in love with him. Hopelessly.

“Can I be honest?”

Jaehyun nods. “Mm-hm. That’s what this is all about, right?”

You exhale a sharp breath, preparing to tell one of your deepest, darkest secrets to the one person that was never supposed to know, “When I told you the reason I wanted to end things was because of you cheating on her, that wasn’t the whole truth. It was part of it, and though I’m no homewrecker, there’s another reason. I was in love with you—hopelessly, helplessly, utterly—and I couldn’t stand the thought that you never felt the same, that I was just a plaything to you.”

“Y/n—”

“Let me finish,” you order, “I left to take care of me. I thought it would have been disrespectful towards myself to stay in that position, when from my understanding, I loved you yet you loved her,” you feel another trail of tears coming, and wipe them away before they have the chance to spill. “At that moment, when I found out you already had someone, I felt like I didn’t know you anymore. I thought that maybe you never really cared, and I was the only one that felt it.”

It, the love. The spark. The connection. The butterflies in your stomach when he held you close, or called you cute pet names. The emotion whenever he was deep inside you.

“It felt like I had given my heart to a stranger,” you laugh humorlessly, “because for all I knew, who’s to say I was the only one you were fucking behind her back? I felt so, so stupid. Like I was never enough. And when I first saw your face again after all these years, all of that hurt came back. But at the same time,” you look him in his eyes, “all my feelings for you came back, too.”

It’s silent for a moment, but it isn’t awkward. You’ve just confessed your feelings for one another, not only now, but for the you of two years ago. For the you of eighteen who never thought you’d ever have this chance.

And you can’t believe Jaehyun’s actually had feelings for you, too. It always seemed like some fairytale thing, but hearing one another out like responsible adults instead of immature teens changes things.

“Wow,” Jaehyun whispers in surprise, “Wow. I was such a fool. I made a simple thing so fucking complicated. Imagine where we’d be if I would have just broken up with her and realized my feelings sooner.”

Together. You’d be together, as one.

“Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, didn’t,” you say lightheartedly, “There’s no use in worrying about that. You’ve apologized. And I forgive you.”

“You forgive me?” Jaehyun gawks. “Why? I thought you’d hate me forever or something.”

“I kinda still hate the you of two years ago, he’s an asshole,” you giggle, “but the you standing next to me right now, today, is a changed man who knows his mistake and won’t do that shit ever a-fucking-gain. Or else.”

Jaehyun snorts. “Of course not. I wouldn’t dare.”

You smile, “Good.”

“Good. So do we address our relationship too, or…”

“Later, please,” you groan. “Come sit by the water with me.”

Jaehyun agrees, and so now you’re sitting at the edge of the pool, your head resting on his shoulder.

“Is SHINee still your favorite band?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you mumble, heart warming at the fact that he even still remembers that.

Then he teases, “Do you still swoon over Lee Taemin?”

You give him a very, very icy glare, “Shut up. I’ll push you into the pool right now.”

“You wouldn’t,” Jaehyun challenges.

Wrong move, you smirk. You love a challenge.

So in one swift movement, you do push him into the pool, and the sound of him yelling and the water splashing is like music to your ears. You giggle, watching as he comes back up, hair heavy and soaked as it sticks to him like a second skin. You also take notice of his white t-shirt, or his abs through the soaked cotton. Six pack. Toned. Stupid dumb crazy hot. Damn, sometimes you forget why you kept coming back to him.

He sneers, unamused. “Not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” you disagree with a smile.

“Oh yeah?” he says, “Look, Lee Taemin!”

You turn without fully processing his statement yet, “Wha—agh!”

In an even swifter motion, Jaehyun’s pulled your ankles, and now a distracted you falls into the pool with a splash. Not to mention, your bikini cover-up is still on. This, unfortunately, is karma. Inconvenience aside, you’re getting deja vu, a distant memory seeping back into your mind.

You whine, “Not fair.”

“It’s a little fair,” he mocks, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“You’re lucky I know how to swim,” you wringe out your hair, “You would have had an lawsuit against you if I didn’t.”

You wonder if he’s taken the hint, if he’s gonna say it. You remember that exact moment, being so close to his face and feeling so warm. I’d never let you drown, baby.

And like a rehearsed line, he says perfectly, “I’d never let you drown, baby.”

“You remember.” Your tone is like a question, but it’s a statement.

“I remember a lot of things about you,” Jaehyun states, and perfectly timed, the current song fades into your all-time personal favorite—SHINee’s 1 of 1. “For instance, is this still your favorite SHINee song?”

One glance in Yeri’s direction confirms your suspicion that this is all her doing, as you see her giggling at you, phone in hand. It was already suspicious of her to play SHINee when she’s an Ariana Grande girl, but now you definitely see her her crystal-clear intentions.

“Yeah,” you mutter, but as you turn back around you notice he’s definitely close enough to hear you. Your noses are almost touching, and you can feel your heart racing. You feel like a teenager in love all over again, blood pumping, your heart beating in your ears. Deja vu.

Jaehyun must be feeling it too, because he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Yet again, you blush. “Sure.”

And on cue, his lips are against yours. Jaehyun’s still an amazing kisser, he feels gentle yet he’s so fierce, gripping your waist as your fingers tangle in his hair. You know for a fact he’d be even rougher if you weren’t inside of a pool.

His lips feel better than you remember, and then he bites your lip. You moan, lips parting and he darts his tongue in your mouth. You can taste his drink on his tongue, faint remnants of whatever he had in his cup.

Fuck, you forgot how high kissing him makes you feel. It’s like an addictive drug, and you can feel nothing but your heartbeat and his lips on yours. You don’t want him to stop.

And then, to your misfortune, he does stop. You whimper, not really taking notice of how out of breath you are as you’re overcome with greed.

“Why’d you stop?” You frown.

“You need to breathe, babe. You wanna almost drown in the pool like Taeyong?” He laughs.

Speaking of Taeyong, you check on him with your eyes. To your surprise, he’s still talking and laughing with Jaemin, the pair obviously hitting it off and super into one another. It makes you smile. That boy’s had a huge crush on you that you both know you can’t reciprocate for years, and it’s time he lets you go.

“Hello… Earth to y/n? You look like the cute puppy eyes emoji.”

Your eyes snap at Jaehyun, “Shut up,” you reply, “And kiss me.”

“Bossy,” Jaehyun teases, but he must like that about you, because moments later he’s kissing you again, even more passionately than before.

“Oh, c’mon!”

Yeri giggles, “Sorry, y/n. The majority rules!”

For the second day of your California vacation, Yeri’s decided to take everyone to an amusement park an hour out from the hotel. You asked her why she didn’t do Disney Land this year, but she said it was reserved for her first Bae-Cation.

You roll your eyes. What happened to chicks over dicks?

The point is, you wanted to separate into groups, considering it would be easier to keep up with everyone. However, everyone else wanted to do pairs, arguing that there was more freedom and it’d be easier to come towards a mutual decision instead of arguing over what to ride.

So everyone grabs their partners, and you’re shocked when you see Jaemin and Taeyong step beside one another. You’re incredulous. Jaemin’s just been abandoning you left and right ever since he came back.

“You two in love or some shit now?” You fold your arms, eyes pointing at them accusingly. “What happened to those coffee threats, Yong? I thought you said Jaem was annoying. And Jaemin? You said he was scary!”

Jaemin shrugs coolly. “He was, but then I realized something. Taeyong’s like an egg, he has a hard shell—” Taeyong glares, “—nevermind, he doesn’t like that comparison very much. Taeyong’s like a smore, hard on the outside yet warm and soft on the inside. Oh, and very deli—ow!”

Jaemin holds his stomach dramatically, looking at Taeyong who stands with a satisfied grin on his face. Perhaps, Taeyong still is a little scary.

“Jaem! Yong!”

“Ooh, that reminds me,” Jaemin eyes twinkle, “I think our ship name should be Jaeyong.”

Taeyong disagrees, “No way. It should be Taemin.”

“First of all, you two will never be Taemin,” you interject with a scowl. “Anyways, you two figure that out. I’ll go be with my partner.”

And you stomp away to spot Jaehyun waiting for you with a cheeky grin. You’re optionless, you suppose. Yeri’s with Mark again, Taeyong and Jaemin are obviously a thing now, Seulgi’s with Winter and Jennie’s with Nayeon.

It’s not even like last night ended poorly. Last night couldn’t have been better, you spent your time making out and drinking with Jaehyun in the pool until midnight. It was too good to be true, you felt like Cinderella, having to slip back into her normal life by the time the clock struck twelve.

Now though, you have to be alone with Jaehyun. Okay technically, you’ll be surrounded by hundreds of people, and depending on where you go your friends may or may not be accompanying you, though still. It isn’t that you don’t trust him, but isn’t it natural to feel uneasy?

Jaehyun calls, “C’mon, princess! Let’s go get hotdogs. I’m hungry.”

“We ate at the hotel,” you snort.

“So? That was an hour ago. Plus the time it took for us to get through that crazy ass line. If you’re not hungry, I’ll buy you a lemonade or something.”

A lemonade does sound good, you ponder. It’s summertime, and no amount of sunglasses and mosquito-repellent sunscreen is going to help you beat this heat. It’s ninety-something degrees.

“Fine,” you give in, and an eternity later (curse these never-ending lines) you’re sitting down at a bench, you sipping on your humongous cup of lemonade and Jaehyun eating a hotdog.

To be honest, you really didn’t need the largest size that they had. You were just testing his reaction for the fun of it, expecting to have a giggle or two, but he totally surprised you, buying it and insisting you should have it even after you told him that you were just playing.

The Jaehyun you knew three years ago was many things, and rich was not one of them.

“Let’s talk,” he says after discarding his hotdog in the bin. Oh of course, Jaehyun’s brain cannot function when he’s running low on food.

Playing dumb, you ask, “About what?”

“Us,” he answers simply.

“In the middle of an amusement park?”

“It’s important,” Jaehyun grins, “You don’t trust me.”

Perplexity is written all over your face. You trust Jaehyun on the basic level, you feel safe around him and in his embrace. But you’re not sure if you trust him with your heart just yet, and after everything he did, you have the right to be scared.

“And I understand why. I hurt you once, you’re scared I might do it again. So let’s start over,” he concludes, and you blink. “From scratch. Past aside. I want you to get to know me, and I wanna get to know you. I’m sure there’s plenty of things I don’t know about you now.”

I mean, you know the gist. You didn’t say that aloud, of course. Through a discussion last night, he still knows your favorite color and your undying love for pie and SHINee, especially Taemin, your birthday, your mom’s birthday, even your dog’s birthday—okay, maybe he knows too much. Or you overshared. Who knows.

And you still remember a lot of facts about him, but at the same time, there’s still so much you don’t know about one another.

“Right,” you agree, “So by starting over, you mean…”

“Completely,” he answers quick. “Let’s re-introduce ourselves.”

Your lips don’t quiver, drawn into a line. “You gotta be kidding.”

“I’m serious!” Jaehyun claims. “C’mon, I’ll even go first.”

“Jaehyun—”

“Aht, aht! You’re not supposed to know my name,” Jaehyun chides. “Hi, my name’s Jaehyun, I’m twenty-one, and I like Cigarettes After Sex. The band, I mean. I don’t smoke.”

You roll your eyes. There was no need for him to explain, because literally everybody knows Jaehyun likes Cigarettes After Sex, the same way everyone knows you like SHINee. But for the sake of placating him and getting this over with, you refuse to make any comments.

“This is so corny.”

“The longer you wait the longer it takes.”

Reluctantly you give in, but not without a groan. “Hi, Jaehyun. My name’s y/n, I’m also twenty-one, and I like SHINee.”

Jaehyun claps dramatically, “Bravo! Was that so hard?”

“Yes, actually.”

He giggles, tells you to stop being dramatic and you two begin your mission to ride every ride that you can within the span of a few hours. You get more snacks in between, sharing a container of butter-y delicious popcorn and double-dating some rides with the other pairs (which unfortunately happens to lead to you witnessing Mark throwing up in a bush).

Unfortunately, time flies by fast when you’re having fun, and when Yeri texts the Pal-Cation Pals group chat to meet up by the first popcorn stand in fifteen minutes, you know you have little time remaining, enough for one last ride.

The Ferris Wheel.

Last but not least, the Ferris Wheel. You and Jaehyun have been saving it for last, agreeing the full experience is at dark night, when the colorful lights illuminate the indigo sky.

“Let’s go!” You pull him into a cart, and he laughs at your enthusiasm.

When the ride starts, Jaehyun holds your hand and you rest your head on his shoulder. It feels nice and comfortable, and you quickly realize you miss having him like this. Close to you. And it’s silent for a moment. You and Jaehyun have always had these moments together, where you’re not talking one another’s ears off, but holding each other in warm silence. You have always valued the other’s company.

You watch as the world gets smaller underneath your feet, how the Ferris wheel lights twinkle in vibrant colors, and shine on its surroundings. You see how the other rides glow in the dark, appearing so close yet so far away.

It’s beautiful. Your eyes flare different colors—red, blue, pink, green—as you gawk in wonder. If you could, you’d stay like this forever, watching this astonishing sight with Jaehyun at your side.

“You look pretty in the light,” Jaehyun marvels, snapping you out of your daze. The butterflies and their flapping wings come back, and he’s always been able to make you feel like this so easily.

Warmth fills your cheeks, and you turn around so that he doesn’t notice. “Don’t I always? Or are you saying I only look pretty in the light?”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “You’re still impossible. I’m trying to flirt with you.”

“Then do so,” you smile. “Keep telling me about how pretty I am.”

“Look at me,” Jaehyun whispers, but it’s loud and clear to you. Slowly, you do look at him, noticing the way his lips curl into a soft grin, and how the purple light casts on his gorgeous skin and features. “Your lips are pretty, too.”

Next, he’ll call your bones pretty and you’ll still feel your face flush with heat.

Jaehyun kissed you for hours last night, but when his lips collide with yours again you know that you’ll never get used to the feeling. Your fingers card through his hair while his gravitate towards your skin, cold hands sending a shiver down your spine as they mesh with the evening warmth.

You bite at his lip this time, wallowing in the sound of his moan as it tumbles from between his parted lips. He can feel you smiling, the corners of your lips spreading apart as you stifle a laugh.

It feels like fire consumes you, like you’re melting, melting into his touch, like candle wax as his fingertips trace your skin. Like a bomb’s ignited inside you, like you’re exploding, and the more you feel him the more you desire him. The more you crave him, the more your body yearns for him.

You know you have him when you move for his neck, marking a trail of red lipstick stains that look purple in the light. He takes it as a challenge, retaliating with a bite at your neck that makes you sigh in pleasure, and this is definitely why you get along so well—you’re compatible.

“When we get back,” you gasp, ignoring the complacent look he casts at you, “Meet me in my room.”

“What about the others?”

“They saw us making out in the pool, Jaehyun, literally nobody cares,” you roll your eyes. “No more sneaking around shit, right?”

He smiles, “Right. Can’t anyways, your lipstick is all over my throat.”

You giggle, and bring him back in for another kiss as the ride begins to slow to an end.

The next couple of days are equally eventful, yet fly by far too quickly for your liking. You hit the beach and unfortunately witness a woman being stung by a jelly fish, visit some museums, the zoo, and even hike near the Hollywood sign. You also make sure to spend Yeri’s money on some souvenirs, and Jaehyun buys you matching necklaces. You have his J, he has your first initial.

Today is Saturday—already. Tomorrow you will return home, and you’re not sure if you’re ready or not. You sigh as you scroll through your camera roll. You’ve had so much fun this week, there’s the pictures of Mark’s scared face on the roller coaster, Taeyong buried alive into the sand, Yeri and the girls trying on humongous sun glasses at the mall, and the video of Jaemin and Jaehyun arm-wrestling to determine who’s the better Jae to prove it (Jaehyun won).

Like a normal Saturday, today’s the one chill day. The whole week has been chaotic in a fun way, but Yeri had nothing else planned, so she told everyone to take a day to wind down and feel free to venture out to wrap up the vacation.

Which leads you to now.

Jaehyun and you agreed to visit the park, just walking around and talking, and perhaps doing some making out in between. You’ve been doing that a lot lately, and you’re pretty sure you’re addicted. It’s like there’s crack in his lips that cannot simply be fixed with chapstick.

“It’s hot,” you complain.

Jaehyun snorts. “We’re in California, babe. Imagine Yeri took us to Florida.”

You wince. You’re barely beating the Californian heat, there’s no way you’ll survive down south in Florida. It doesn’t even snow there.

“I thought you were gonna say some fake-romantic shit, like I’ll reach into the sky and throw the sun into the freezer, princess, just say the word,” you mimick his voice exaggeratedly.

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, but laughs nonetheless, “No can do, princess,” he teases, “but I can get us some ice cream from that stand over there. Stay put, I’ll be right back.”

“Wait!” You shout. “You even know what I want?”

He says your favorite flavor, and even your preferred container to consume it in, “Right?”

A smile spreads on your lips, and your heart flutters. He remembers. “Right.”

Jaehyun shoots you a smile then jogs over to the ice cream stand, pulling his wallet from his pockets. You gotta remember to ask him where he’s getting all this money from, this man could be a drug dealer for all you know.

Nonetheless, you sit at a nearby bench and pull out your phone. Nothing beats checking up on your Animal Crossing island while you wait.

You notice the presence of someone sitting beside you but don’t bat an eye, knowing without looking that it isn’t Jaehyun. And who are you to shoo away a stranger if they want to rest their feet?

“You must be y/n,” hearing your name, your eyes snap to the side instinctively.

And that’s when you realize that this stranger may not be as unknown as you initially thought.

Your eyes widen, “You…”

“I am, Jaehyun’s ex-girlfriend,” she, Victoria announces proudly, like it’s some achievement to be clipped onto the fridge.

You never met her, but you’ll never forget her name, or her face for that matter. It’s kind of stupid, how you found out. You were on Instagram, and you saw Jaehyun’s account in the replies of Yeri’s post. You clicked his profile, because you had never exchanged accounts before, and you quickly saw why.

He didn’t post her often, amongst all the flaunting images of himself, but when he did he made it crystal clear that she was his girlfriend, and what sole other woman would he continuously post onto his page?

“What are you doing here?” You ask, an obviously bitter edge to your voice. It isn’t she that you should be bitter towards, but you can’t help but feel slightly defensive.

“Relax, darling, I’m not stalking you on whatever summer vacation he’s had the courtesy to whisk you away on,” Victoria giggles. Of course not, that would be obsessive. “It’s actually a coincidence to see you, but since we’re here, let’s talk.”

Disinterested, you reply, “There’s nothing for you and I to discuss.”

“Of course, there is! You were fucking with him while he was with me, right?” she gives you a picture-perfect smile that makes you want to grit your teeth, yet you compose yourself. She sighs, “You know that, and yet you’re like what, dating him now? I’m telling you now, once a cheater, always a cheater. You might think he loves you now, but I promise you, he’ll stab you in the back the moment you aren’t looking.”

Victoria misjudges your silence as you giving her the go-ahead to continue, “I know that you know, and I know you’re trying to convince yourself that he’s changed, but he’s still the same old bastard he was three years ago. I mean just look at him, he’s even flirting with that lady now.”

With furrowed brows, you turn in Jaehyun’s direction, eyes finding that he actually is flirting with the ice cream lady. You can’t believe your eyes. Really? The fucking ice cream woman? He isn’t trying to be subtle with it, either.

She tilts her head as she speaks in your ear, “See? He doesn’t give a fuck. Not about you, not about her, not about any of us. You’re just yet another notch in his belt.”

And suddenly, all those doubts come back, the ones that you had pushed away and replaced with your growing feelings for him. Yet now that they’re existing within the same space, it’s even more terrifying, it’s exactly what you feared.

What if Jaehyun never really cared? What if all this is just some big act? What if he’s just been playing with your emotions this entire time? What if you don’t really know Jaehyun like you thought?

You want him, but what if he doesn’t really want you?

Jaehyun walks over, seemingly not noticing his ex-girlfriend’s presence, “I got the ice cream. Who’s th—Victoria?”

“Hello, Jaehyun,” she waves, offering him a smile. “We were just talking about you.”

“What the fuck did you tell her?” Jaehyun scowls, taking notice of your silence and the empty, unhappy gaze you shoot him. You don’t even smile, hardly even blink.

Victoria shrugs. “Nothing she doesn’t already know.”

“I’m walking back to the hotel,” you announce, sliding your phone back into your pocket and peeling yourself off of the bench.

“Wait!”

He calls out your name.

For the third time, you turn and walk away.

This time, though, he’s not letting you walk away. Not without putting up a fight first.

“Why are we doing this again?” Jaehyun yells. “Why? Did I do something? We can just talk this out, you know. What happened to no more secrets?”

You retort, “You fucking tell me, Jaehyun! How am I supposed to know that you don’t have secrets?”

“The same goddamn way I know you don’t have any! Trust!” And the realization hits him hard. He knows that it’s only been some days, but what could Victoria have said to make you back out so hastily? “Is that what it is? You don’t trust me?”

Tears sting your eyes. “Trust you? You want me to trust you? With you being the kind of person you are? You’re out of luck.”

That burned Jaehyun. After all of the bonding you’ve done lately, he would’ve thought that you would trust him a little more, but he sees clearly now. He sees that he’s done all he can do, and now it’s time for you to do your part.

“What kind of person am I, y/n?” He asks coldly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You spit, “You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah?” Jaehyun laughs tonelessly, “Well frankly I think you’re an asshole, too. So when you’re ready to be assholes together, let me know.”

And this time, Jaehyun’s the one that walks away. This time, you understand his pain, as you have those tear-stung eyes and that quivering voice. That empty feeling inside, the pang in your heart. The way it’s killing you inside, but you don’t have it in you to move, to chase him. All you can do for now is let it eat at you slowly.

Maybe Victoria was wrong. Maybe you’re planting the knife in your own back.

Sunday comes slowly, and you’re glad you didn’t ride the same van as Jaehyun. You still have to deal with the curious stares your friends shoot you, but it’s better than confronting your emotions, or at least you think it is.

You’re not ready yet.

When you get home, the first time you do is order Panda Express via Uber Eats so that you don’t starve as you rot in your room. The next thing you do is flop against your bed and and sob.

A few days go by like this, in pure brutal agony. You drowning in your thoughts, the maybes and the what if’s. You feel like a teenage girl experiencing her first break-up, lost and confused and unsure of how to deal with the hurt. It’s no one’s fault but yours though, and it’s your job to fix it or forever hold your peace.

Love is hard. You know that. You accept that. If you couldn’t, then it would be wrong of you to try be in a real relationship. But loving, as a verb, is easy. Too easy. So easy, to the point where sometimes, you don’t realize you’re doing it until it’s too late. What’s harder is accepting the fact that love isn’t a choice, but a feeling. If it was, you would have chosen to stop loving Jaehyun years ago. You would have chosen to fall in love with Taeyong, or maybe even Kai.

But your heart chose Jung Jaehyun, and it must have a mind of it’s own, because no matter how much you tell it to let go, it doesn’t listen.

That’s why as the days go by, they’re slow and empty. Because Jaehyun’s not there. Not with you. And a little voice in the back of your head is saying he’s with another girl, but your heart is telling you to have faith. You are severely conflicted.

Just when you think you might just spend the rest of your life rotting here, you’re quickly proven wrong by the dedication and genuine care and concern of your best friends.

“Hey, bitch,” Jaemin strolls in casually, as though this is his room, “New guy already?”

“What?”

“Some guy opened the door,” he replies, flopping against your bean-bag cough.

You blink, gears turning in your mind as you try to decipher what man could possibly be inside of your house—oh. You roll your eyes, “That’s my roommate’s boyfriend, you dumbass.”

“Oh,” Jaemin mumbles, then his eyes twinkle as he makes a move for your desk, “Ooh, Panda Express.”

Suddenly, Yeri storms inside your bedroom, flickering on the lights inside your very much dim and deprived of life, sunshine and happiness room, chanting vigorously the lyrics to Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj’s The Light is Coming, “The light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole!”

You groan, yanking the sheets and comforter over your face to block out the light like a vampire, “You guys, please leave me alone.”

“Nope,” says Taeyong, who follows suit after your other friends, venturing into your room. You fight, you tugging the covers towards you while he attempts at pulling them off. It’s a quick battle which you lose, and you soon accept defeat. “You’ve been suffering in silence—and darkness—for far too long. So, fess up. What did that punk do? Do I need to prepare the coffee?”

You sigh, Saturday seeping back into your memory. “He didn’t do anything.”

Jaemin blinks. “What do you mean? Why else have you been sulking in your bedroom for the past four days like a divorced man who’s ex-wife took the kids and the TV? Shit, all you’re missing is a bar and some alcohol at this point.”

You roll your eyes, “I mean, I was the one that fucked up this time.”

“What?”

They all gasp involuntarily, and if you had it in you, you would roll your eyes at the chorus of what’s.

That day rewinds in your head, how it was so warm then so cold within a matter of moments. Your eyes water as you recall everything that happened, Victoria, your public altercation, walking back to the hotel alone while it felt like there was a rain cloud above your head, despite the piping hot conditions outdoors.

It isn’t like you don’t want to let Jaehyun in. You do, but you’re terrified of granting him that permission, of giving him your heart when he’s broken it before. But this way, you’re only breaking your heart more, and breaking his, too.

“I did something stupid. I assumed the worst when I shouldn’t have, and then I got scared. So I ran,” you want to bury yourself underneath the covers and sink into the earth to be forgotten, but you have to deal with your mistakes. “And I broke his heart. Now I need to fix it, but I don’t fucking know how.”

Yeri thinks you’re dumb.

Taeyong thinks you’re stupid.

Jaemin thinks you’re out of your fucking mind and an absolute fool for letting your thoughts destroy you, but he’ll do whatever he can to help.

“Talk to him, duh,” Yeri says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and it is, but easier said than done.

“How? I bet he doesn’t even want to see my face.”

“Are you kidding?” Jaemin gawks. “He’s been moping around the apartment like literally all week, and me and Jongin haven’t said anything because we thought it was his fault! He also has divorced man syndrome!”

Oh. You feel extra stupid now, and you can’t believe you let Victoria get in your head. Collapsing onto your pillow, you groan, “I really am an asshole.”

“Maybe, yeah,” Taeyong agrees, “but so is he, you guys are a match made in heaven.”

“Or hell,” Jaemin chimes in.

Taeyong glares. “With that being said—and I mean this in the friendliest way possible—get your head out of your ass and go talk to him.”

And you smile softly at that. If Taeyong’s giving you the push, you know that everyone’s right and you need to do something. Now.

You nod and whip out your phone with a sigh, opening iMessage. Can we talk?

(Delivered.)

(Read.)

Sure.

Antsy, you’re fidgeting. Your anxiety is spiking and you can feel your heartbeat directly in your eardrums, but this time your fears won’t scare you off. You wait for Jaehyun, feet tapping against the ground restlessly, until you see him nearing.

He walks over to your side, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and you feel your heart wrenching a little when you notice that he doesn’t give you his wild grin he usually shoots whenever he sees you. His face is inscrutable, and you bite back the urge to run, because you know now that no matter how fast you run, you’ll never be able to hide from your feelings.

“Hey,” your voice is giving up on you, but you refuse to let it. Get a grip.

“Hey,” Jaehyun whispers back. His eyes are dark and empty, and that’s how you know you cut him deep. There’s always a gleam to his eyes, whether sad or blissful.

You can do this, you tell yourself. You’ve talked to him about much worse before, this should be nothing. But still, it’s never been quite like this. You’ve never made this bad of a mistake.

“About Saturday,” you begin, still fidgeting but managing to look at him, “I’m sorry. I jumped to conclusions instead of asking you, instead of trusting you, and I let Victoria get in my head—”

“Yeah, what the hell was that about?” Jaehyun interjects. “Sorry for interrupting you, but I’m still confused. Did I do something?”

“She pointed out that you were flirting with the ice cream lady. What was that?”

Jaehyun blinks, processing your statement, and when he does he begins shaking his head, “Seriously? You’re telling me this is all over the fucking ice cream? I was only flirting with her to get free ice cream! You know they was trying to charge me fifteen dollars for 4 scoops?”

“It’s not just that!” You exclaim. “Like, yeah, that triggered it, but—fuck, Jaehyun, I was scared, I was so fucking scared. I was overthinking, and all my doubts and fears came back, that what if you never cared, what if you don’t want me like I want you, what if I don’t know you like I think I do? I was scared to trust you, scared that I love you because I don’t want to lose you again—”

If Jaehyun was a dog, his ears would perk up. “You love me?”

“Yes,” you answer boldly. “I love you, Jaehyun. I’m in love with you, and up until now that scared me half to death, because I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to know that you love me, too,” and especially enough to stay. “But now I know. I trust you, Jaehyun. I love you, I want you, and I’m gonna be honest, I’m still a little scared. But that’s what love is, trusting someone to not break your heart. It’s a risk I’m ready to take for you.”

Jaehyun is silently stunned. He doesn’t have much to say, taken aback by your confession and the fact this actually happening. “You mean that?”

You nod, smiling. “Every word.”

In seconds, Jaehyun has you pinned to the wall, his lips against yours. God, you missed this feeling. The feeling of his plush lips against yours, his hands on your body. You miss kissing him irresistibly, every hour of every day, for moments at a time until you were breathless.

Jaehyun seems to have missed it just as much, kissing you with a passion—hungrily; greedily. He kisses you like he can’t have enough, like his lips have an insatiable hunger.

And you can’t believe you’re making out with him behind your apartment, but you’re willing to try new things for him.

Jaehyun taps your thighs, and by now you know that that meets to jump, so you do, shrieking a little, yet he doesn’t let you fall. “I got you,” he whispers in between kisses, breath tickling your skin, “and I won’t ever let you go.”

It’s been five days. You’ve been trying not to think too hard about the label thing, maybe Jaehyun is planning something, he wouldn’t just forget to ask you to be his girlfriend.

You’re walking back to your apartment when it happens.

“Excuse me,” a stranger with an oddly familiar voice calls at to you, and when you whirl around, the last person to see is…

“Taemin?” You nearly scream. He points his index finger to his lips, gesturing for you to be quiet, which makes sense because you’re in public but there’s literally no way the man standing before you is the Lee Taemin. You’re dreaming.

You even pinch yourself, much to his amusement, and come to the realization that this is very much real. You could faint. Taemin? Lee Taemin? From SHINee? There’s simply no way.

“I believe this is for you,” Taemin holds in his hands your all-time favorite SHINee album, The Misconception Of Us. You take it, staring at the album in disbelief. You’re gawking. “And one last thing. Come with me, please?”

Okay, what the hell. He has to be trying to kidnap you or something, it’s perfect bait. Who wouldn’t agree to follow their favorite artist after they randomly pop up behind you and offer you your favorite album for free? You’re lucky it isn’t some kidnapping scheme, because you ultimately end up following him despite your doubts.

He takes you to the cafe, which, to your surprise is empty. At least you think it is, until Jaehyun slips out of hiding, walking up to you with a smile.

“Jaehyun,” you can’t help smile back, “What the?”

“Flip it over,” he says, gesturing towards the album, and curiously, you obey. To the back is attached a sticky note that says, To my 1 of 1 girl, will you be my girlfriend? It’s cheesy, but it has you smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

“Yes!” Instantly, you crash into his arms. “Yes, yes, yesyes yes—” he has to cut you off with his lips, and you melt into kiss.

You pull away the second you hear the intro to your favorite song, 1 of 1, and look onto the cafe stage (yes, the cafe has a stage for Friday through Saturday night performances) to see Taemin beginning to sing and cover the other members parts.

You’re mind-blown. A part of you is still convinced that this is a dream, because how the fuck did Jaehyun get a man as busy as Lee Taemin to do this? You forgot to ask him who he works for, but do drug dealers have Lee Taemin money?

“How did you—”

“Shh,” Jaehyun pecks your lips, “Taemin’s singing.”

You roll your eyes, yet giggle. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jaehyun engulfs you in a warm, comfortable hug, “And only you.”

When he says it, you trust him. You believe him. Because the Jung Jaehyun you know and love today is a man of his word, and that means you get to love him with no fears, and no worries.

Love is a challenge. And in this moment and the next, it’s safe to say you’ve won.

#jaehyun smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut #jaehyun x reader #nct imagines #jaehyun imagines #jung jaehyun smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios

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yohanseyebrowmole · 4 months ago

Text

Indelible | Jacaerys Velaryon

(adj. impossible to erase or forget)

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!reader

Sum: Jacaerys realises he should have listened to you and told everyone about the two of you too late...

Or was it too late?

or in which

Jacaerys breaks up with you two years after secretly dating you, and you get wind of his potential engagement to your cousin the heir to your family's company.

Word count: 3,692 (give or take:/ I edited it and wasn't bothered to recheck the wc)

Warnings: idk nothing much. I tried to avoid using y/n but ended up using it like thrice (I think)

a/n: Reader's mother is the second child of a huge businessman and took on her husband's name upon marriage, but has business ties (her maiden name is Dayne but its not a big deal). Reader's father is a well-respected lawyer but it's not relevant. Jace is heir to the Targaryen family business. He's a little slow and doesn't connect dots until later on lol.

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

☆ Loving Jacaerys Velaryon was easy.

Keeping the fact that you loved him a secret was the hard part.

Two years.

For two years, you loved Jacaerys, and now you are hearing that his family was actively trying to set him up with your cousin.

What’s worse is that it makes perfect sense for them to get together.

Jacaerys is set to inherit the family company from his mother and your cousin is set to inherit your family's company from your uncle.

Why did he want to keep your relationship a secret in the first place? You didn't know, but you respected his decision nonetheless.

But two years of not being able to tell anyone?

You wanted to tell your parents and your older brother, you wanted to gossip with said cousin about your relationship, but Jace remained steadfast in his decision not to tell anyone.

He probably got fed up with you asking to become public and broke up with you, at least that was what you originally thought.

Two years of dates and I love you's gone just like that, all because Jace wanted to keep your relationship a secret and you were tired of not being able to tell anyone.

You had no interest in your mother's family company to be honest. No care for business or the likes, your interest is and will always lay within anthropology.

You loved it.

It was the perfect balance of history, science and mystery and everyone who knew you knew how much you loved a good mystery.

You loved the drama and the slight chaos whenever you got called in, and they say they found a body and having to find out what happened to it.

What was their story? What were they like? What was their life like? How did they end up like this?

Sometimes, it was a simple burial. Sometimes, it was an accidental death.

The murders were always the most interesting.

Of course, as an intern, you were usually not always assigned to the murder cases, but you always accepted any that came your way.

You loved the hunt, your curiosity always getting the best of you and the sense of relief, pride and justice that filled you once you found the identity of who was lying in front of you and who was responsible for it was always worth it.

You loved finding clues that helped catch the one responsible for the person's death, and being able to give families closure after their loved ones went missing was rewarding to you.

Yes, it was confronting and disgusting at times like the time a body was found at the landfill and you had to sift through weeks of rubbish to find missing bones (you were sure you would never be able to smell anything other than rotten food ever again) but you loved it regardless.

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

You were once again sitting in the library at your corner.

It was one of your favourite spots on campus.

The window provided a perfect distraction when she needed a little break from her work. It was far enough from the other tables that no one bothered her but close enough that she could watch people go about their day when she was bored.

The shelfs also obscured their line of view of the table giving you privacy was always an added bonus.

“Having fun, pretty girl?”

You blink, shifting your gaze away from the window where you had been watching what seemed to be a very heated fight between a couple. You smile at your boyfriend.

“Hey,” You said. “You're here earlier than normal.”

Jace sits down next to you, letting his bag drop from his shoulder onto the floor.

“Finished early.”

“You look tired,” you said, taking note of the light dark circles under his eyes.

“Cause I am,” Jace groans, leaning into you. He practically shoves his face into the crook of your neck.

You shift sideways so he can rest his head comfortably and run your hand through his hair gently undoing any notes made from the wind outside.

“You should go home and sleep if you're tired, Jace.”

“Don’t wanna,” Jacaerys responds, not bothering to move his head from the crook of your neck. “Just wanna be here with you.”

You can’t help the upward tug of your lips.

“Careful Velaryon, someone might assume that you're obsessed with me.”

Jace huffs out a laugh, finally lifting his head and sitting back.

“They would assume correctly. What are you doing later?”

“I don’t know,” You shrug. “But it seems like you know what I’m going to do.”

Jace grins, grabbing his bag from the floor and digging around it before pulling out two tickets. “You are going to go visit that new exhibit at the museum with me.”

“You got tickets?" You can't hide your excitement. "How? I tried getting them for weeks but they were sold out, I even asked mum if she could pull some strings.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Jace smiles. "You were going to ask your mum to get you tickets?"

You shrug lightly, grabbing the tickets from him, inspecting them before you all but throw yourself at him, hugging him. You pull away but grab one of his hands intertwining your fingers with his.

Jace nods along to your random facts about Egyptian history as he watches your eyes light up as you giggle and ramble on about the exhibit, squeezing your hand, bringing it up to his lip and kissing the back of it.

You barely react to the affection, already gotten used to the gestures and continue talking about Ramesses the great and his military accomplishments.

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

Your first thought was that it was your fault.

Clearly, you must have done something wrong for Jace to break up with you.

You rack your brains for weeks afterwards to try and figure out what you've done wrong, but as you sit there in your little corner of the library, you realise you've done absolutely nothing wrong.

So then you wonder, why would he break up with you?

Was it because you brought up the fact of a public relationship more often than not these days? Did he suddenly think you weren’t pretty enough? Or were you and your random rants now annoying to him?

The tip of the pencil you had been using to draw snaps.

You thought it would be easy to get over him. After all no one knew you two were together so you weren't getting constant pity glances.

Turns out it was harder. Way harder.

You didn't have anyone to rant to, no one to lean on or cry to and you were practically at the end of your patience, about to call your brother and spill everything to him when you heard someone call your name.

"Oh my god finally!"

You turn only to be met with your best friend Baela, who coincidentally was also Jace's cousin. You smile at her, forcing yourself to push your previous thoughts to the back of your mind.

"What's got you so excited?" You ask her.

She plops down on the seat next to you.

“Why are you so hard to find?”

You laugh. “I’m always here Baela. You know that.”

She rolls her hands before leaning forward. You notice the glint in her eyes. Mischief. Her eyes were basically the same as Jace’s aside from the colour difference.

“It’s Jace,” she said. “Mum told me that Aunt Rhae was trying to set him up with Elise Dayne.”

You freeze slightly. “What?”

“I know! I was shocked as well!” Baela smiles, not realising the bombshell she had just dropped on you.

“Elise Dayne?”

Baela nods and rambles on about how she had seen Elise and Jace on a date the other day and how cute they had looked together. You smile and nod along but all you can think about was this was why he broke up with you.

Baela leaves to go to class but only after after telling you everything.

She leaves and you sit there for what felt like hours trying to wrap your head around what she had told you.

Jacaerys had broken up with you only to get together with your cousin.

You gather your things and walk to your car.

With your hands on the wheel you scream before you start laughing.

The laugh turns into choked out sobs as you let yourself cry for the first time since Jace left you.

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

Seeing Jacaerys walk into your family home with his family had not been in your plans for tonight.

Frankly, if you had known this very important and must not miss family meeting was to officially announce his engagement to your cousin, you would have accepted that case on the unknown skeleton they found last week or gotten your professors to make something up so you could have an excuse not to turn up.

Instead, here you are, forced to stand and watch Jace smile and greet your cousin and her parents.

You stand in a corner next to your brother, tongue poking the inside of your cheek in slight annoyance.

You can tell the exact moment Jacaerys notices your presence.

You send him an overly sweet smile and watch him falter, confusion and something else flashing in his eyes before he blinks and puts his mask back up, turning and shaking your mother’s hand.

He had always been good at that, pretending that nothing was bothering him.

Your mother smiles and turns to you and your brother. Your brother nudges you, and you quickly plaster a pleasant smile on your face.

“This is my daughter and my oldest.”

Your brother shakes Jace’s hand and introduces him. Jacaerys turns his attention to you.

“Hi,” you smile, reaching out and shaking his hand. “Y/n. Pleasure to meet you.”

You watch him gulp, smile and greet you back.

You keep your distance and stay quiet the entire time the two families eat. You know your brother has noticed because he keeps sending you odd looks, but you brush them off, not bothering to pay him any mind or explain your current predicament to him.

What does bother you is Jace.

He keeps looking over at you, most of the time it’s short glances but sometimes you can feel his gaze boring into the side of your head as you answer the questions his brothers, Lucerys and Joffery ask about your degree, his mother occasionally asking a few of her own.

You make sure to keep your answers brief. Your degree was hardly dinner conversation, and you didn't want anyone's dinner resurfacing in any way.

You make sure to turn to him and give him a smile. He snaps out of his daze every time, blinking a couple of times before tuning back into whatever your cousin was talking about.

At some point in the night, you get up, telling your brother you needed to get something from your room.

You don’t notice Jace’s eyes following you as you walk away, and you sure as hell don’t hear him excuse himself to go to the bathroom.

You startle slightly as you feel someone grab your wrist. You don’t even need to turn around to realise who it was.

The soft scent of sandalwood tells you enough.

“What are you doing?” you hiss under your breath, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had seen the both of you before pulling him into your room.

Jace looks around, taking in his surroundings.

He can’t really help it. It was the first time he had been in your room. He notices the photo wall full of polaroids you told him about making and the string of fairy lights you had bought together after convincing him to go shopping together.

“I didn’t know you were related to her,” Jace said.

“I told you who my mother was,” you scoff. “It was pretty fucking obvious Jace.”

Neither of you notice the person standing by the door, listening in on the conversation through the slight crack.

“Well you could have straight up told me,” Jace argues.

“You're arguing with me because I didn’t give you my mother’s government name? Are you serious? I told you her name, where she worked and what she did. I even told you she was helping coordinate that joint event with your mother! I couldn’t have been more obvious, it’s not my fault you couldn’t put two and two together!”

Jace opens and closes his mouth. It's not like she was wrong.

“This,” you whisper. “This is why you broke up with me? If you had known, would you have stayed? Would you have let me tell everyone that we dated?”

Jace winces at your harsh tone but otherwise stays silent, giving you your answer.

“I can’t believe you.”

“You think I wanted this?” Jace said. “You think I knew my parents were gonna set me up with her?”

“Clearly you did since you refused to tell anyone about us.”

“That’s not -”

“Don’t,” you cut him off. “Just don’t.”

You sigh and shake your head.

“You need to go. Leave first, and then I can follow after a couple of minutes.”

Jace grabs your hand before you can push him towards the door. “Wait, just -”

“You need to go,” you repeat. “If you haven’t noticed your fiancé-to-be is down the hall along with the rest of my family and we both have better things to do then stand here and argue over a topic we already know our stance on. Also, I have somewhere I need to be.”

With that, you pull your hand away from his and walk away. He follows you into the hallway, hears you say bye to your family, and watches you turn to leave.

Fuck.

How was he going to fix this?

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

Looking back on it, Jacaerys really didn't know how he didn't put two and two together.

He had met your mother on numerous occasions considering that she worked with his mother for joint events and whatnot.

You were practically a carbon copy of your mother as well.

The hair, the eyes, the intellect. Everything about you screamed Dayne and his stupid brain couldn’t piece together the fact that you were related.

How the fuck did he not know?

All those times when you had told him your mother was away on business and he had commented that his mother was gone as well.

He groans, running a hand down his face.

Rhaenyra, who had been standing by the doorway for the past five minutes watching her son have what looked like a mental breakdown, finally decides to make her presence known.

It was time to talk some sense into her son.

“Jace.”

“Mother.”

“Can I come in?” His mother asks.

Jace nods and she walks into the room.

“Want to tell me what’s on your mind?” she questions. “Luke is complaining about your constant groans.”

Jace normally would have laughed but all he can do is sigh.

“What’s wrong, Jace?” his mother asks again.

“I messed up,” Jace mutters. “Really bad, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

His mother nods, walking forward and sits beside him on the bed.

“Why don’t you tell me everything so I can help?”

Jace looks at her, hesitates for a moment before the flood gates open, and he tells her everything.

He tells her about how you two met, about your first date, about how he wanted to keep your relationship a secret, and you had been okay with that for a while.

He tells her how he broke up with you because she wanted him to get together with your cousin.

He doesn’t leave anything out, and his mother just sits and listens to everything.

When he’s done she stays quiet.

“Jace,” she asks softly. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jace forces himself to hold back the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t -” he shakes his head. “I was afraid that you wouldn’t approve, and I didn’t want to lose her, but I guess it’s too late for that now.”

Rhaenyra reaches out and holds his hands.

“If I had known you loved someone like that,” she said. “I wouldn’t have set you up. I would never deny you your happiness. Even if she wasn’t what I envisioned for you, I wouldn’t have made you leave her, Jacaerys.”

His bottom lip wobbles. “What do I do now?”

Rhaenyra smiles and whips away a stray tear from his cheek.

“Jace?”

He hums.

“Do you like her?”

“What?”

“Do you like her?”

“I love her,” Jace said. “A lot.”

His mother smiles. “Then what are you doing here?”

He stays quiet, blinking at his mother.

“If you love her, why aren’t you with her?” His mother said. “Go get her back, Jace. If you love her, fight for her.”

Jacaerys stands up quickly and nods. He grabs a jacket from his chair and is gone the next second.

Rhaenyra watches him leave shaking her head with a soft smile.

That foolish boy.

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

You were on campus, specifically at the building where your professors kept the unidentified bodies that had been sent over after being found.

You weren't allowed to have phones near the workstations or the bodies and even if you were you would have never bothered to bring it up with you.

Who in their right mind wants to touch their phone with people juice on their hands, regardless of whether or not you were wearing gloves?

Not to mention that you would have kept having to change your gloves as well, and that would do your head in.

Your phone was in your bag, which in turn was in your personal locker outside, which meant you had no idea that Jacaerys had been trying to get a hold of you for the past hour.

You had no idea that he was calling you or texting you to ask for your whereabouts.

Luckily for him, you were slightly predictable.

You had just finished writing down your notes for the Jane Doe in front of you and making sure her bones were locked away and secure.

You swiped your student card into the security slot, and the doors outside opened. Smiling and waving to the security guards stationed outside the lab, you grabbed your bag from the the opposite wall, holding the lockers.

You push open the door and stop short.

It was raining, because of course it was.

You put your notes in your bag and started walking to your car, which was conveniently parked at the far end of the parking lot.

You had been too busy re-reading and protecting your over your notes while speed-walking to your car to realise that Jacaerys had been waiting outside waiting for you.

You couldn’t hear him call your name over the sound of the rain.

When the rain suddenly stops falling on you, you look up only to be met with the slight of an umbrella.

You turn confused and are met with a panting Jacaerys.

“You walk really fast,” he said, slightly bent over as he caught his breath.

You just stare at him. “What are you doing here?”

He stands up straighter.

“Uh, I came to apologise.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Jace said. “For everything. I’m sorry for being stupid and not putting two and two together. For keeping us a secret and breaking up with you. I’m sorry.”

“Where is this coming from?” you question.

“I came to a realisation,” Jace answered. “I can’t live without you.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Is that right?”

“I hate the fact that we aren’t together anymore. I hate the fact that I didn’t tell anybody we were together,” Jace said. “I hate being away with you. I hate not being with you. I hate not being able to hold and tell you I love you every day. I’ll do better this time. I swear it.”

“Careful Velaryon,” you say, stepping forward. “People could assume you are obsessed with me.”

Jace’s lips tug upwards, and he nods, closing the gap between the two of you completely, leaning down.

“They would assume correctly.”

The world around the two of you fades into the background as he leans forward, his lips brushing against yours.

The air around the both of you seemed to warm. You don’t know who leans in first, and you don’t care.

All you cared about was the fact that Jacaerys was kissing you again. That he was yours again.

Your eyes flutter close as your lips meet, and the umbrella protecting the two of you from the rain drops to the floor as he pulls you closer.

You don’t register that you drop your bag to hold onto his collar and pull him even closer.

You could have sworn lighting flashed through the sky as your lips met, but maybe that was you imagining things. You had almost forgotten what it felt like to kiss him.

Those sparks when your lips touched his, that feeling of something more.

Of something real.

Your heart skips a beat

“You know you’re stuck with me forever now right?” Jace said as he pulled away smiling.

You laugh and Jace sees that familiar sparkle of light in your eyes. The ones that remind him of stars.

“I think it’s you that’s stuck with me.”

He grins leaning in to kiss you again. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” you smile into the kiss.

A particularly cold and harsh gust of wind coupled with the booming sound of thunder breaks the moment and you shiver.

Jace goes to pick up the umbrella that had fallen. Luckily, the wind hadn't carried it too far off.

Your eyes follow him before they fall on your wet bag on the floor. The bag that had your notes. The bag that held the notes that you had been painstakingly working on for the past few hours.

You scream, causing Jace to jump.

“You little shit! You made me drop my notes! I take it back! I hate you!”

Jacaerys laughs as you pick up your bag and hit him with it. He runs away as you chase him in the rain, cursing him out for letting you ruin your notes.

You really wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well, except maybe with dry notes.

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

Thank you to my bby girl @icarusignite for pre-reading this and thirsting over Jace to an almost unhealthy degree with me ily<3

Go read her fics or else (this may or may not be a threat)

Written by Yor <3

#yor<3 #yorspage #yorsfics #yorsworks #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys x reader #jacaerys #jacaerys velaryon #jace x reader #jace velaryon #jacaerys velaryon smut #hotdfanfic #hotd jacaerys #jace targaryen #jacaerys targaryen #hotd x you #fanfic

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dendroseelie · 11 days ago

Text

sweet distractions | alhaitham x reader

alhaitham doesn't appreciate being disturbed while he's trying to work and if you don't stop bugging him just because you're distracted, he'll simply have to take matters into his own hands and take his own sweet revenge.

word count - 2k+

pairing - alhaitham x reader; afab!reader

warnings - smut (mdni), oral sex (f!receiving), does this count as public sex lol? i think so

author's note: took longer than i wanted because i got super busy with irl stuff but here it is!! hehe :3 smexy time with alhaitham and as always, i would love it if you leave your thoughts :)

masterlist

request here | rules

When you agreed with Alhaitham to have a late-night study session in a secluded corner at the Akademiya’s grand library, you didn’t think you would be in this position. Three hours ago you both had your noses buried in the books and now, well - Alhaitham had his nose buried in you.

Assignment season was in full swing at the Akademiya. The dreaded middle-of-the-semester workload had students consuming way too much caffeine and staying up way too late. You were not immune to this. This week you had already turned in a total of ten assignments and you were working on your eleventh one which you had to turn in tomorrow. You had been putting this one off the longest as it was for the module you disliked the most. You couldn’t help but leave it for the last minute, something rather unlike you.

Alhaitham had kindly offered to keep you company - that is, study at the same table in the library - for the night as the two of you worked on your separate tasks. The first hour or two went by in relative silence before you started getting antsy. You hated this assignment, I mean who would in their right mind write five thousand words about “The Cultural and Socioeconomic Effect of Growing Radishes instead of Carrots”? You weren’t even sure it was relevant to what you were majoring in, let alone studying. It was frustrating, You generally weren’t the kind to slack off and not put in effort into the work you turned in. You were someone who cared about the quality of assignments you turned in and what you were learning. But this damned paper… What could you possibly write about radishes and carrots that could be invigorating to read?

You sighed frustratedly, pushing away the books you had gathered earlier as if it would make your assignment magically disappear. Your mind felt completely numb after working on this for hours at a stretch - one could only read so much about root vegetables.

Alhaitham, on the other hand, was completely engrossed in whatever he was writing about. His unwavering attention to the task at hand made it seem like it was interesting…But, well, you were not finding your own task very appealing. At least, not as appealing as the sight in front of you. Alhaitham was clad in a cream-coloured shirt, his sweater thrown over the back of his chair. His brown pants complimented his long legs and his shoes were halfway kicked off. By some miracle, his headphones were off today. His thin-rimmed glasses were perched upon his sharp nose and you couldn’t help but admire how the few strands of his ashy hair fell over his forehead. You almost wanted to reach out and tuck them back in place.

“Quit staring you creep.”

You feel your face flush, gaze immediately flickering away. You clear your throat. “I wasn’t staring.”

Alhaitham’s lips curve into a barely-there smirk. He looked smug - somehow, that pissed you off and charmed you just the same. “Sure, darling. You absolutely were not staring holes into my skull just now.”

“I wasn’t!” You insist indignantly, eyebrows bunching up into an ingenuine frown.

He still doesn’t look up from his assignment as he continues working. “Whatever, Y/N. Get back to your work and let me be in peace too.”

You scowl at his steady focus. You were mind-bogglingly bored and here he was, writing away - his sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms, hair falling over his eyes just… so perfectly.

You try and turn your attention back to your work, you really do. But it was all…Alhaitham’s fault - him and his insufferably, stupidly handsome face. You try to continue writing your assignment, highlighting how switching between carrots and radishes will essentially affect culinary practices and in turn, affect the culture in the long run. But. But Alhaitham’s lips pursed between his teeth, the pink tips of his pale fingers, the rings clad on the length of them, the slow blinks of his gorgeous green eyes…were so much more interesting. So much more inviting.

It truly was as if you were captivated; eyes following the smallest of his movements like a kitten learning to hunt.

Alhaitham’s deep sigh and the clatter of his pen as he drops it pull you out of your trance. You return his sharp gaze with a blank gaze, blinking dopily. “Okay Y/N, what’s up with you? What’s got you so distracted tonight?”

“You,” you answer, only half-consciously.

He arches his brow, a thinly veiled simper stretched on his lips. “Me?” he enquires, voice dripping with a teasing lilt.

You flush at his words, internally cursing yourself for your loose lips - but also him, because that was also his fault!

“What? Cat got your tongue, darling?”

You roll your eyes at him, huffing. “Don’t bug me!”

“Bug you? I’m not the one gawking at you instead of working.”

“I was not gawking!” You protest - uselessly at that because it only makes Alhaitham chuckle cockily.

For a few seconds, Alhaitham watches you carefully, eyes taking in your flushed cheeks and your short breaths, and your tongue peeking out to wet your parted lips. He slowly tilts his head to the side, eyes drinking in the sight in front of him like a predator studying its prey. Then he smiles wolfishly. Your heartbeat stutters.

Alhaitham stands up from his seat, stalking toward you. His arms cage you in as you lean back against the chair. “What is it, hmm?” He bends towards you, words spoken softly right into your ear. “Finding the sight a little too distracting, perhaps?”

“N-no.”

“Really?” He asks, his hand coming up to tuck your hair behind your ear, trailing down the side of your cheek. His thumb brushes over your lips. “I could help, you know? Ward off the distractions… You just have to admit it.”

“Th-there’s nothing to admit,” you fumble over your words, tongue staggering at the feeling of his lips trailing the path of his hand like a phantom of his touch.

You swear you can feel his tongue on your ear as his fingers find their way into your hair. “Sure about that, darling? I could simply satisfy you, have you twitching in a much more interesting way.”

A sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan escapes you as Alhaitham places a wet kiss to your jaw, teeth grazing the side of your neck. He has the audacity to laugh. “Hmm, maybe I should also get my revenge for how you keep distracting me…What do you say?”

At your soft words of consent and a nod, Alhaitham does not waste a moment before his lips press into yours. His lips are softer and more pillowy than you had imagined. And… well you had imagined it embarrassingly often. His mouth coaxes yours open and the kiss turns sloppier, messier in a way that has you whining into the heated press of flesh.

Alhaitham’s hands shift down from your neck to the dip of your waist, grip squeezing. He nips at your lips before breaking apart, a line of spit stretching from your mouth to his. Both your eyes seem to be glassed over, minds a little too cottony.

He presses another fleeting kiss to your lips before he mutters, almost as if in a stupor. “Taste so sweet…”

He shoves the books on the table to the side, before yanking off his glasses. His grip on you is strong and unforgiving as he pulls you up from the chair and perches you onto the table. He presses wet kisses down the expanse of your neck. “I need you to be quiet for me, darling. Can you do that?”

You nod. Words seem to have left you. Alhaitham’s hands skim down the fabric of your dress as he kisses you, ghostly touch leaving goosebumps in its wake. His hands massage the soft flesh of your thighs, the skirt of your dress riding up as he stands between your legs.

His kisses are feverish over your skin as he slowly sinks down to his knees in front of you, between your limbs. “Remember to be quiet, okay?" He instructs you, as he props your legs over his shoulder. We don’t want anyone coming down to this section.”

A breathy agreement later, Alhaitham is nibbling at your thighs as he nears where you need him most. He follows his bites with a lick of his tongue and simply this has you trembling in his hold. Before you know it, his fingers are hooking on the elastic of your underwear and tugging it down in one, swift motion. The cold air that hits your core barely has a moment to make you shiver before his lips are on you.

What a sight to see indeed. Hours ago the two of you were occupied with your books and assignments. Wouldn’t one agree this kind of preoccupation was much more welcome?

He had you seated on the edge of the library's opulent mahogany table while your skirt was bunched up around your hips and your legs were thrown over his shoulders as he diligently ate you out. His tongue was skilled in its movements, swirling over your sensitive nub in a way that had you twitching. His palms had your thighs in a vice grip, fingers flexing over it as you shook under him.

Your vision swims. It’s as if there are sparks under your eyelids, your own personal star shower that Alhaitham has brought right to you. At least, that’s what his mouth on you feels like; an experience ethereal and cosmic enough to have you whimpering his name like a prayer. Reverent echoes of ‘Alhaitham’ bounce off the bookshelves and back within the sanctity of the moment. Alhaitham hums, acknowledging your pleas, the sound sending shivers through you. If your whispers of his name were a prayer then what was he, if not a deity on his knees, consuming nectar so divine that it could rival the heaven’s ambrosia.

“S-shit Alhaitham,” your voice comes out high pitched, sounding nearly unfamiliar to you.

Alhaitham nips you in response before he looks up from between your legs. His mouth is glistening — from spit and your arousal, and the mere sight of it has you clenching. “M’not done, sweetheart. Be good and let me finish, hmm?”

He dives back in before you can answer, his tongue prodding at your entrance in a manner that has you grabbing a fistful of his hair. Alhaitham’s hands tighten around the supple flesh of your legs, pulling them apart as you close your thighs around him. He groans, mouth still on you, and the vibrations of the sound hit you straight in the core. The feeling of your impending orgasm only grows as his finger joins his ministrations, the cold press of his rings urging you on. The knot in your stomach keeps tightening and tightening until a particular curl of his tongue and the bite that follows it sends you over the edge. You thrash in his hold as your orgasm washes over you, biting the back of your hand to curb the wanton moan that escapes you.

Alhaitham is still lapping at you, helping you ride out your high until you finally push his head away out of over-sensitivity. He presses scattered kisses to the inside of your thighs, before he looks up at you, a Cheshire grin resting upon his lips. “Doing okay?”

“Huh…? Shit.” Your words are thick with the lingering pleasure, your mind fuzzy and your eyes hooded as you raise yourself on your arms to take a peek at Alhaitham who is still on his knees. His fingers knead the flesh of your hips, the feeling of it grounding and comforting. “Yes. Yes, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” He chides cheekily. “You still look plenty distracted to me, Y/N.”

“Fuck you,” you whisper, voice still breathless. Your cheeks are burning and your heart is still racing from the exquisite taste of pleasure that he brought to you. He had made a mess of you with just his tongue, and you couldn’t help the anticipation that shot through you at his suggestive insinuations.

Alhaitham’s smirk deepens and he arches his brow. “Oh? I'll be so honoured Y/N, but are you sure you want our first time to be on the library table?”

author's note: phew okay guys this is actually the first time I've written smut like this so I'm a bit?? I'm not sure if it's up to standard but I tried TT would love and welcome any constructive feedback you may have :) most of all though, i hope you enjoyed!

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cillianmesoftlyyy · 1 year ago

Text

Under the Weather | Cillian Murphy x Reader

Summary | It's your one-year anniversary with Cillian and he's just finished filming The Party but as the night goes on, you begin to feel feverish and sick. Cillian comes home and takes care of you.

Warnings | fluff lol; age-gap.

Pale Blue Eyes- The Velvet Underground 🎶

word count: 1421

Don't interact if you're a Yvonne hater. This is a completely fictional piece and does not reflect Cillian or his family in reality. Read with the assumption that Cillian is not married and does not have children.

........................................

She started to feel sick around noon, the inklings of fatigue and fever creeping up into her head. She went to dinner with Cillian as she said she would for their one-year anniversary but her pearl earrings felt colder than usual against her feverish skin and she shivered when she had pulled on her dark green dress with the boat neck that exposed her collarbones to the chilly air. Curling her hair was too much, and the heat had left her exhausted and sweaty, even though she was cold. She tightened her green buckled flats and sat up in her chair at the vanity, placing a warm hand against her hot forehead and sighed. She wasn’t sure if she was actually sick or just anxious from the weeks of filming that Cillian had been preoccupied with for The Party. But he was done now and focused on his private life, the life that included her now.

He was 41 and she was 28, and already the media had a lot to say about their relationship. She was young but not that much so, she’d gone from crappy sitcoms and low-budget movies to blockbuster films and award shows. She was just as relevant as Cillian, though she may be a decade younger. She loved Cillian and the way that he helped her with her rehearsals and her anxieties. She confided in him and spilled her guts and he listened, his eyes gentle and validating. He was quiet and reserved when she had first met him on set for Peaky Blinders as one of Micheal Gray’s love-interests. She was almost never in the same scene as him so they never had a moment to speak until an interview that she was invited to attend with the main cast. She was seated next to him on the raised platform in front of the cameras when the clip keeping the back of her dress together broke and nearly unraveled in front of everyone. Without hesitation, CIllian had reached over and pulled the two ends of fabric together, keeping her dress from falling down her chest. He kept his hand against her back for the remainder of the interview, and still added to the discussion and smiled when prompted to. When the cameras stopped, he helped her get up from her seat, still holding her dress together and helped her off. He only left once a crew member had successfully pinned her dress, giving her a kind smile and a nod.

And now here they were.

She checked Cillian’s watch on the bedside table and hurried to finish getting ready before he arrived at 7. He’d made reservations at a small restaurant in Dublin where he knew the owners and their children. Smoothing down her short emerald green dress, she hurried down the stairs to the first floor of the walkup she shared with Cillian in Dublin and waited anxiously by the door for the familiar sound of footsteps on the granite steps. She saw his silhouette through the textured glass on the front door and threw it open before he could knock. He was startled but smiled when he saw who was waiting for him.

“My God, you look lovely darling!” He smiled and closed the door behind him, blocking out the summer breeze. He put each hand on her waist and turned her around slowly to see what she was wearing. He’d finished an interview for The Party and changed into his suit in the dressing room before driving back, so he looked slightly rumpled but unmistakingly beautiful.

“How was the interview?” She asked, her hands clasped around his neck.

“Eh, I’m happy it's all over with ya’ know?” The wrinkles around his eyes crinkled as he smiled.

He kissed her head but when he pulled away, he frowned down at her.

“You feel warm.” He put the back of his hand against her cheek and moved it to her forehead, clucking his tongue. “Do you feel alright, love?”

“I thought I might be getting sick but it's not bad, I can still go.” She waved him off.

“Ah ah ah, not so fast. I think you have a fever.” He took her hand and led her to the kitchen and picked her up, setting her down gently on the countertop.

“You mustn’t make such a fuss, Cillian.” She sighed defeatedly, her hands clasped either side of the cold marble countertop.

“Hush, love.” He rummaged through the medicinal cabinet in the kitchen and retrieved the mercury thermometer that they had bought at a drugstore as a house-warming gift for themselves. “Open your mouth for me,” she complied, touching her tongue to the roof of her mouth, “good girl.” He praised her.

“This is ridiculous. I feel fine, Cillian!” She mumbled around the thermometer. He rested his arms on either side of her body, his legs planted firmly between her knees. He said nothing but glanced down at his watch every few seconds to check the time. When it was done he pulled the thermometer from her mouth and read it to her.

“100.3. You’re sick, love.” He laughed softly and placed the thermometer on a folded cloth by the sink to wash later. “Come on.” He spread his arms and she reluctantly hugged him around his shoulders so that he could pick her up. He sighed softly as he arranged her in his arms and climbed the short flight of steps to the second floor.

“What about the dinner reservations?” She whined into his shoulder, her nose crushed against the soft fabric of his suit.

“It'll be fine, darling. Let me worry about that.” He passed through the doorway into their bedroom and laid her down on the bed. She squirmed in protest when he went left, going down the stairs quickly. She could hear him moving around the kitchen for a while before coming back up the stairs, a glass of water and Tylenol in his hands. She sat up against the pillows at the headboard and curled her knees into her chest. He sat on the edge of the bed and gave her two of the distinct white chalky pills.

“Take these.” He ordered softly and waited.

“Yes, sir.” She grumbled and swallowed the pills, downing them with water. He took the empty glass from her hand and placed it on the nightstand.

“Let me get you out of these” He unbuckled her shoes and tossed them aside, his hands patting each ankle as he did so.

“I’m sorry, Cillian.” She whispered, her arms held up in the air in a pitiful request for affection. He leaned over and hugged her.

“For what, darling?” He furrowed his brow and stroked her hair.

“For being sick on our anniversary.” She sniffed and fought back childish tears. He pulled away and rubbed his thumb over her feverish cheek.

“That’s nothing to be sorry for, love. We still get to spend the evening together, right?” He smiled and kissed the top of her head.

“Ok.” She nodded and allowed him to remove her earrings, sliding the backings off into his hand and returning them to her jewelry box. She turned to the side as his hands found the top of her zipper. As he pulled, her skin tingled with goosebumps all the way down to her tailbone. His hands slid the dress off her shoulders and pulled it over her head. She was naked besides her underwear and sensitive to the cold. Cillian quickly took one of his long sleeve shirts and pulled it down over her head. She slid her arms through the sleeves and curled into his side as he leaned over, resting the dress carefully on the arm of a chair. When he straightened back up, he put one arm around her shoulders and the other one on his stomach. She nestled beneath the sheets and wool blankets beside him and breathed him in.

As she started to fall asleep, he cradled her in his arms, holding onto her with security and love. He waited patiently as she slept before changing out of his suit. He turned off the lights and applied a cold washcloth to her head as she slept soundly beside him. He laughed softly when her nose was congested and she started breathing through her mouth, drooling slightly on her pillow. He combed his fingers through her hair and kissed the crown of her head into the night before he fell asleep himself, his arms tightly around her.

#cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy #the party #cillian x y/n #fluff #cillian fanfic #cillian fluff #fanfiction #under the weather

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livestock-and-bibles · 6 months ago

Text

Things I've Noticed During My Several Rewatches of The Doomstar Requiem

(Lock in, this is gonna be long)

Murderface is the only one out of the group to have a completely obscured face, possession foreshadowing perhaps? Also he lacks the golden streaks on the halo-esque circles behind them. Inch resting... (Not gonna talk too much abt when the scene goes red and the beam behind Murderface is dripping blood because I believe it's already been talked about before by others, and I don't want to include anything in this post that's already been discussed) Also I love how all of their weapons match their instruments

The way Toki doesn't even flinch when he gets alcohol poured on his wound is heartbreaking, likely either because the torture his parents put him through as a kid has given him a wicked pain tolerance or because he's so dissociated, similarly to how he behaves in Dethfam when his parents are around or Dethzazz when he's mentally in the punishment hole (I do believe this sort of catatonic state he's in is what's causing him to seem so much worse off than Abigail—though his untreated diabetes + Magnus targeting him more because of his relation to Dethklok probably also adds to it—he's likely not really eating or taking care of himself)

At first I thought that Magnus was feeding them dog food, but on closer inspection I actually believe it to be human remains. Yeesh. You can see it really looks like muscle fibers, and there's bones, as well as skin that still has hair on it. Magnus Hammersmith they could never make me like you

On the table is the Klokateer from Tracking/Ishnifus and The Challenge!!

I think it's interesting how much Nathan's fantasies look like Toki's! I just think it's neat! They're more similar than they seem :)

This is the most expressive we've ever seen Charles and it makes my heart hurt AUUGHH

The way Nathan licks his lips/teeth after the "How can I be a hero when my dick's as big as a shoe" line. DISGUSTING /affectionate

Does this fan look familiar? He should, because it's Dethklok's son, Fatty Ding Dong!! Good to see he's doing well lol, and his real name is Rick, we can also assume that at LEAST four years have passed since season 1, since in season 1 episode 10, he's said to be 14. Since he has a roommate now, he is likely to be around 18 years old

(Apologies for the low quality screencap I had to nab this from Youtube) I kind of wish that the animators didn't change this original animation for the end of The Fans Are Chatting. I just feel like Nathan pushing away the Klokateers is more symbolically relevant. Nathan is quite literally pushing away the safety and security his avoidance has given him, the hologram disappearing and the fans leaving is a metaphor for the fact that he can no longer keep himself deluded into thinking that everything is fine, he can't hide from the truth anymore

Almost all of the Rock A Roonie Fantasy Camp counsellors came to the Dethklok audition, there's even the depressed blues guy in the background. There's also Sammy Candynose from Snakes 'n Barrels, so I like to think that Pickles told him about the auditions

There's also the guitarist from Get Thee Hence

Toki's shadow!!! The wings!!!

The animals they take the form of match two of the guitars Brendon Small created with Gibson, The Thunderhorse and the Snow Falcon :D

It's super tiny but their smiles :'))!!! Also the way their parts play on different sides when you listen with headphones but then combine at this part makes me so crazy. Not only does Toki challenge Skwisgaar and inspire him to get better, but they're also having fun! Which I can imagine never really happened when he played with Magnus

Probably just an animation error but Skwisgaar is animated as his present day self here. Idk, just thought that was interesting

I think the order of the rest of the band joining in on the background vocals is really interesting, it goes: Skwisgaar, Pickles, Nathan, Murderface. Personally I choose to interpret it as a representation of how long it took each member to warm up to Toki as their rhythm guitarist, Skwisgaar was super fast since he was the one to choose him, Pickles was the one wanting a new guitarist in the first place, Nathan and Magnus seemed to be close, so it would definitely take more time for him to accept Toki as the whole Magnus situation would still feel a little raw, and Murderface is a professional hater so of course it took him the longest

I really love just how soft and content Murderface looks in Toki's fantasy. We all know he has a softer side and I think that either Toki perceives it, or possibly Murderface shows it towards him (Which I can believe because they're often together and they get along pretty well, Toki is probably the person Murderface gets along with the best actually)

I also want to mention that at this part of I Believe, Toki is no longer singing along with the other's background vocals, and is harmonizing with himself, which gets really sad when you realize that it's because this was just Toki remembering this to keep himself sane and he's actually kidnapped, hurt, and alone. Ouch :(

The drunk driver who crashed into the Jomfru brothers is the same guy who crashed into Nathan's second grade class in Dethgov. I guess there's only one drunk driver that exists in the Metalocalypse universe lol

I think we as a fandom need to appreciate Eric Jomfru more. He's such a real one. The way they make you care about him after he's already gone is so evil lol /affectionate

The way the Klokateers join in on this song makes me wonder if perhaps they view each other as brothers, or if there's just like a strong sense of brotherhood between them

The groupie on the left can actually be seen in Fatherklok at the beginning of the episode, as one of the women Skwisgaar has been with, so y'know what? She has valid reasons to be mad honestly

Murderface's pose up top always sends me, sir please calm down, keep it together king

Murderface holding his wrist :(

If you look closely, you can actually see that the Revengeancers are eating Ishnifus. Which is just,, utterly horrifying

In between the shots of the band and the assassin, there's so many inconsistencies in the placement of the characters. For the last two images, I just like to rationalize it as Pickles immediately attempting to run away, then noticing that the rest of the band is still there and being like "Oh shit we're squaring up? Ok I guess". I know it's just so Nathan can be in the center when they use the Dethlights but I just think it's funny

Also in the second to last picture, the way Murderface, typically the most cowardly of the band, isn't looking at the assassin, but instead, is looking worriedly at Toki, makes my heart hurt. I adore their relationship

Murderface is actually sleeping in Nathan's bed here. If you compare different shots of their bedrooms and beds, it's clear that this is Nathan's, you can tell from the striped pillowcase. I'm not gonna talk too much about this, mostly because I want to make a separate post talking about how Murderface is seen more than once sleeping in Nathan's bed when he's hurt/unwell. It's very sweet lol

ANYWAY! Thanks for reading these rambles, I love The Doomstar Requiem so much! I might make a post like this for Army of the Doomstar as well, and also just some analysis posts if I get the confidence lol. Big thanks to @ratskal for watching this a dozen times with me and pointing out things too. (I actually reached the max limit of pictures allowed in a post which is a little funny, I am so normal about this show /lying)

#metalocalypse #mtl #the doomstar requiem #tdr #toki wartooth #nathan explosion #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #pickles the drummer

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aziraphales-library · 5 months ago

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Hi there! First off, thank you so much for y’all’s work here on Tumblr, def one of my main sources of fic recs.

I read Summer’s End by FeralTuxedo a while ago (lovely rec) and am definitely back in my TLOU-apocalyptic-setting-with-a-moody-but-calm/nature-esk-atmosphere-and-character-centred-plot era again. I just genuinely enjoyed the specific atmosphere that the apocalyptic setting gives works. Anyway, that being said, I would love any recs that would fit that kind of vibe (I would prefer less smut since I skip over it but honestly as long as it isn’t specifically plot-relevant its fine lol also not TOO much angst please, I cant deal with Az or Crow actually dying or something like that unless it is done in a comforting way).

ps: on a more specific request, if y’all know of any GO fics inspired by TLOU I would greatly appreciate recs (look, Bill and Frank’s episode in the tv adaptation is screaming to be written as a fic with Az and Crow instead- Bill and Frank’s deaths are wht I mean by deaths done in a comforting way I suppose, haha).

Wow, this is a long request, so sorry. Thank you so much for reading, have a great day and happy new year!

Hello! Pretty sure we've recommended almost all of these before, but there aren't loads of this kind of fic (and I could find no The Last of Us specific fics)...

Dead Genres by A_plus_platypus (T)

The end is nigh when a zombie virus ravages the world. Luckily, there is hope yet in the form of pharmaceutical scientist Anthony "Just Crowley" Crowley. With his adopted younger brother Adam, his other three kids The Them, and English teacher Aziraphale Fell, he searches for the fated military base in Tadfield. There, they — along with the rest of the world — have a chance at survival. And also Crowley is a disaster, and Aziraphale is a disaster, and everyone needs a hot cup of tea.

what's to come by PepperPrints, restlesslikeme (M)

Post-Apocalyptic AU. Even without the Antichrist, both Heaven and Hell insist on Armageddon. Aziraphale is missing and Crowley sets out to find him, driving through a scorched Earth with a witch in his passenger seat.

is there anybody out there? by theycallmeDernhelm (E)

Welcome to the zombie apocalypse. England has been overrun by walking corpses, everything's gone to hell, and the few survivors are scattered- among them, Crowley and his 11-year-old son Warlock. When Crowley's radio signal is unexpectedly picked up by another group of survivors, he finds himself falling, in a way he never thought he'd fall again, for the charming and kindly Aziraphale. Over three seasons and a tenuous radio connection, a romance develops between them, while a friendship grows between Warlock and Aziraphale's nephew Adam. Love isn't dead (or undead) after all.

Ouroboros Forever and One by iblankedonmyname (T)

An AU where the Apocalypse-Definitely-Did, Aziraphale is a cowboy and Crowley is on a mission from God to reboot the universe. “God gave you, a demon, a mission?” Aziraphale snaps his glass onto the table. “Millions of angels at Her disposal, and yet…” His eyes are sparkling again. It’s more refreshing than a glass of tequila in a waterless land. “You?” His eyes slip from Crowley’s toes up to the top of his head. “Well, I am certainly surprised.”

Zombie Apocalypse by AppleSeeds (T)

When a meteor strikes Earth carrying a virus that can 'turn people into zombies', Aziraphale finds himself responsible for a group of frightened teenagers at an airbase-turned-hospital in Tadfield. Aziraphale is terrified, but experiences some relief when the teens introduce him to Crowley, who has a plan to get them all to safety. When things don't exactly go according to plan and with the zombies closing in, Aziraphale must face his fears in order to protect the children from becoming infected.

My Favorite Ghost by cassieoh_draws, DiminishingReturns (T)

Decades after the world didn’t end, Heaven and Hell got their war — and nearly destroyed everything in the process. When Aziraphale finally manages to reacquire a corporation and return to Earth, he discovers he was gone longer than he thought and the planet has become unrecognizable. As he searches for Crowley and tries to figure out how he fits in a world that Heaven, Hell, and God have all wiped their hands of, nature works around him to reclaim the bones of an old civilization as the scraps of humanity build a new one. A lush and optimistic post-apocalypse story, told from the POV of an immortal who can't let go of the past.

And the one you mentioned...

Summer's End by FeralTuxedo (E)

2095. Britain is a post-apocalyptic wasteland ravaged by droughts, the collapse of civilisation, and hordes of the undead. Despite that, Aziraphale’s life is actually pretty good. He has his caravan, his books, and his work, offering his services to the men who stop by Tadfield on their arduous journey north. One day, a mysterious stranger knocks on his door. Crowley is charming and handsome and he appears to know his way around a vegetable garden. He comes with the tempting offer of a mutually beneficial arrangement. But it’s in Aziraphale’s best interest not to get too attached. A dystopian cottagecore sex worker AU.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #zombie apocalypse #dystopia #post apocalyptic #adult omens #mod d

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days-until-burnout · 18 days ago

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Brian and Impulse playing Minecraft with each other but can't focus on the game because GAY 💅

📧 Day 112 -

Characters - Impulse/Grian ft. Joel, Jimmy, and background Words - 706 Time - 45 mins Content - Modern AU

impulseSV joined the game

Grian stares at the chat, hands frozen, hovering over his keyboard and mouse. The voices coming from his headphones become white noise, his vision tunneling to the words; more specifically, the name.

<Smallishbeans> o/ <impulseSV> o/ <SolidarityGaming> hi :D <SolidarityGaming> do you need us to find you? <Tango> nope! <Tango> he’s ours! <Etho> yep yep <Smallishbeans> i am going to kick you out! <Etho> can you not ^_^ <Smallishbeans> >:p

Grian watches the messages fill up the corner of his screen, suddenly having an out of body experience. Then his heart is pounding, then his ears are ringing with the laughter of Joel and Jimmy, and his hands begin to shake where they are. He goes lightheaded when he stops breathing.

“G, you’ve gone quiet,” Jimmy laughs, too giddy to be mocking.

Joel, on the other hand, cackles maliciously; that is Grian’s answer to why this is happening. Still, Grian has never wanted to strangle him more than when he speaks again.

“Come on, Grian. Let’s go say hi. I need to kill Etho too.”

Jimmy laughs.

Skizzleman blew up by creeper <GeminiTay> SKIZZ!!!! <Smallishbeans> lol <GeminiTay> don’t laugh!!! <Skizzleman> stupid creeper!!! <Smallishbeans> do you have your spawn <Smallishbeans> nvm <Smallishbeans> walk <GeminiTay> rude <Etho> rude <Etho> jinx <GeminiTay> shut up etho!!!

Grian blinks, startled, when his screen flashes. He finds himself in the middle of the forest, Joel and Jimmy walking circles around him, still laughing right into his head. Jimmy crouches in front of him, and other times, he would have punched him out of the way, but he is still frozen on the spot. In response, Joel punches him along, whining about him not moving.

He stutters, the bare minimum sound making both of them shut up, “Wh– Why… When? How…? Why?”

“Well,” Joel starts, giggling. Grian sees Joel’s character running ahead, his own jumping to him in flashes. “I invited Etho way back when, because you know. And then Tango, because I felt bad because Etho is a nerd. And then Gem, so we can kill Etho twice as effectively. Then—”

“You wanted to spend time with him,” Jimmy cuts in, punching Joel to shut him up. He screeches when Joel gets his axe, critting him once. “Stop! Joel, stop! I’m almost dead! Joel—So we– So Joel brought him over!”

“Say sorry,” Joel demands, critting Jimmy again with his fist.

“Get away!”

Grian cringes when Jimmy starts screaming, not even getting relief when he runs away. Joel chases, of course, but their voices stay on his ears.

His screen flashes a couple more times, until they find an opening.

<Smallishbeans> eefo <Smallishbean> where are you <Etho> don’t :< <Smallishbeans> community service! Etho was doomed to fall TangoTek was doomed to fall SolidarityGaming was doomed to fall <Smallishbeans> where are you gem Skizzleman was doomed to fall <Smallishbeans> hi gem :D <GeminiTay> hi :D

Gem appears on screen for a brief moment, then she vanishes. Joel follows after, and Grian’s vision blurs where he stands. He drags his hands from his table, just staring at the screen until a figure sneaks into his field of vision.

impulseSV whispers to you: hi grian :)

This cannot be happening.

He stares, then stares some more as Impulse's character sneaks closer, that simple face getting closer and closer until it nearly fills his screen. Very relevant, actually, because Impulse very much takes up plenty of space in his head.

impulseSV whispers to you: are you okay? impulseSV whispers to you: can you show me around? if you are not doing anything, but if you are, can we schedule for another time? :) Smallishbeans whispers to you: you are such a loser GeminiTay whispers to you: don’t just stand there!!!

He can still hear Joel’s cackles, and he can visually see Gem shaking her head. In between deaths and teleporting, Jimmy and Joel must have jumped to another voice channel. Though he cannot tab out to check, he does not need the confirmation either way; so he focuses on what is in front of him.

With shaky hands, he finally manages a message.

You whispers to impulseSV: i have time now

And his heart nearly leaps out of his chest.

impulseSV whispers to you: thank you :)

_____

fgyfsyghua i was going to write more, but i spent half a day laying down staring at the ceiling. so now, just going for something safe, aka a request

[click for a random day]

#hermitshipping #trafficshipping #grimpulse #impulsesv #grian #smallishbeans #solidaritygaming #day 112

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mcybree · 6 months ago

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I prepared this ask in the Notes app only for Tumblr to not let me copy and paste the text so here’s a screenshot bc I’m not typing all that again lol

there’s this funny trend i see in trafficblr art, in that, when there’s a lineup of every past winner, most players will be surrounded by symbols that were relevant to their POV, and perhaps drawn with the last emotion they’d felt just before death (or maybe just whatever emotion the artist most associates with the character). The winners might be doing something, or in a pose that reflects how they won—there are a million ways to make a life series winners’ piece. What’s funny about it is that no one ever seems to know what to do with Scott. He’s most often just standing there looking mildly disgruntled. And for the symbols he’s most depicted with, it’s typically poppies, which are only relevant to the first season; last life scott does not place any importance on poppies, poppies dont ever come up beyond a brief interaction in episode 1, and jimmy as a whole is less relevant to scott’s pov in last life than he is in every other season.

not that this is an issue with the art; the pieces are beautifully done, it’s just representative of how little fandom discussion there is about scott’s win thematically. Most discussion I see are about the watchers and how they hate scott for defying him or whatever, but watcher lore is not discussion of the series itself as much as it is a fan creation that is retroactively applied to create meaning.

Scott’s Last Life win, to me, was achieved through accomplishing what Third Life Scott could not.

Scott spent 3L waiting for his day one ally to die. He kept Jimmy at a distance, often fully gearing himself up first before backtracking to help Jimmy along. There’s a funny disparity in episode 5, where Jimmy spends the entire episode trying to get good enchants on his iron armor, while Scott sets up a villager and gets good enchants for the full diamond set that he’d already had in storage, in about half the time Jimmy took trying to accomplish his own goal, iirc. This disparity is also something scott acknowledges with the “I’ll always be more powerful than you” line, but it’s been a while since ive written a post like this so i unfortunately do not have the episode number memorized on that one anymore. But Scott goes on to explain that he’ll always have better armor and weapons, which is why Jimmy could never kill him. This is all to say that Jimmy and Scott do not stand on equal grounds in their alliance, and, more importantly, Scott does not depend on Jimmy. The progress Scott makes in Third Life is entirely his own, with Jimmy as more of an afterthought than a teammate.

This is what landed Scott his all time lowest placement. After Jimmy dies first, Scott loses sight of his priorities and dedicates his remaining time alive to avenging Jimmy, rather than focusing on his own longevity (like he’d go on to do in future seasons). And, in that way, Scott’s attitude towards Jimmy (disposable, going to die, unreliable) was an indirect contributor to Scott’s low placement.

In contrast: Scott could not have won Last Life without Pearl. Scott has to rely on Pearl from day 1, having only two lives to start with himself. Pearl gives Scott two lives total. Pearl and Scott are almost always together. They made it to the final four by each other’s side. And that forced day 1 reliance on pearl breaks down the role scott typically assumes (*he’s* supposed to be the person people rely on, he’s supposed to be the one bringing everything to the table) which curbs his tendency to see himself as above others, which then allows for the most genuine happiness i have ever seen him have in an alliance.

The comparison between the way Scott talks to Pearl and the way Scott talks to Jimmy is like night and day. Scott doesn’t compliment or otherwise say anything supportive towards Jimmy (save for the “I believe in you! MCC has trained you for this moment!” during Jimmy’s dare to flare attempt) until after Jimmy has already died. With Pearl, however, Scott is much more open about his care towards her, saying that she’s his best friend and that he loves her as early as episode 2. There’s more examples but between last life and third life, Scott’s attitude towards his primary ally is completely different, and i think it’s symptomatic of Scott allowing himself to love and be vulnerable rather than keeping himself at a distance. And i think that it’s so special that scott won the season where he was so close with his day one alliance, directly because of his day one alliance.

because, to me, one of scott’s defining characteristics is his self reliance. He will have allies, yes, but he often assumes a supportive role and acts as a supplier. He doesnt like taking things from other people. Last Life is different because Scott relies on Pearl, too. It’s also not a coincidence that last life is the only season where scott is normal about jimmy but that’s a different post

tldr yes scott won last life with the power of love but not in the way people say he did (ignoring the boogeyman curse was strategy ☝️)

I SHOULD NOTE, though, that the boogeyman curse was still a fail. Although purposeful, Scott receives the penalty and apologizes to his team. He says he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. I do think that his words here aren’t fully honest— he’d admitted earlier that this choice was fully for strategy. But I also think his apologetic attitude here is genuine. Scott is a perfectionist, he needs to succeed; failing, though purposeful, still hurts. He feels the need to apologize. It means so much to me that his win in last life directly follows the choice to fail on purpose. I’m insane though idk

third life scott embodies scotts flaws while last life scott is him overcoming them 👍 is what im trying to say 👍 last life scott is everything that third life scott could not bring himself to be, in allowing himself to love and depend on other people and overall just be a person.

#I couldve explained this way better but i came up with the thesis in the very last paragraph #And went ohhh. Well. The post is already written #So yes i could reformat this all and make it much more compelling by breaking down exactly what i think scotts flaws are through—#Series by series analysis #and then go on and use examples from ll to paint it as the antithesis of all that #all to put in a provable factual way just HOW different scott is in last life compared to other series #And how this aided him and eventually got him the win #But i think thats like. A whole essay?#im imagining an essay format. and i do not. want to write a whole essay right now #so im hoping this kind of shitty condensed version gets my point across #there is an annoying lack of citations but as stated i have not done a scott post in a while and dont have this shit as memorized #also its my birthday in 6 minutes can you believe it #asks #that.blue.mf

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makeste · 1 year ago

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BnHA Chapter 408: Orphaned Cryptid to Billionaire Supervillain

Previously on BnHA: HE WAS BORN AN ARROGANT BABY.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi decides he’s going to cover the rest of the AFO/OFA saga in the span of just seven pages, the majority of which are mostly just filled with lovingly detailed closeups of AFO and Kudou’s eyes. Back in the present day, Kid For One takes a couple of seconds to trample the last of the “Kacchan is OFA II or is related to OFA II” theories into the dust, and is then all “fuck it, I’ll just take him out with one last spectacularly grotesque supermove.” Kacchan is all “lol you fucking dipshit”, and he says it with such confidence that it truly makes me believe he can defeat AFO’s “ALL THE QUIRKS EVER!!” attack with his piddly little exploding bloodsweat quirk. AND IT WILL BE A SIGHT TO SEE.

interesting!

Yoichi’s name btw is written with the kanji 与 which means “bestow” or “give”, and 一 which means “one.” so basically “one who gives”, which is fitting as the creator of OFA, but also fits in with this new context of being the first “possession” bestowed upon AFO

oh yes and also AFO I guess has just torn his brother to shreds or something too. idk. I’m going to be honest with you guys, this panel has such a surreal vibe that I just sat here blinking stupidly at it and wasn’t even shocked or anything. like what. is he dreaming this?? or did he really just make a “STOP! IN THE NAAAAME OF LOVE” gesture and in doing so remove half of his brother’s jaw

ewww

idk what’s wrong with me today guys. AFO just disintegrated Yoichi, and Kudou and and OFA Tres (who apparently still doesn’t have a name???? freaking Kudou got named before you??) are literally RIGHT THERE and presumably horrified, and all I can think about is how fucking gross it is that they’re all hanging out in a fucking sewer

oh shit y’all it’s about to go down

he can’t kill Kudou right off the bat can he? does Kudou even know he has OFA yet? are we going to see him transfer it to OFA III? I’m so fucking excited omg

LOL WHAT

“weirdly matte” omg. so apparently he’s like All Might, where the “he’s just drawn differently” thing is something people actually acknowledge in-story. “yeah he actually has no pupils. that’s a real thing. technically that should mean he can’t see since pupils are what let light into your eyes, but don’t worry about that part. just know that his eyes canonically look weird to the story people as well, and everyone is creeped out by it, not just you”

yeah he’s actually blind

so he literally can’t see outside himself. way to lay those metaphors on thick, Horikoshi

(ETA: this is my “just in case my impeccably dry wit doesn’t translate well across the internet” ETA to assure everyone I know he’s not actually blind lol.)

now we’re cutting to some random city where AFO is broodingly staring at Yoichi’s severed hand because he’s perfected the art of always doing incredibly unsettling things

I cannot believe the fucking hands thing has an actual origin story. of course it does. this man has never done a single hinged thing in his life. it’s all unhinged or bust. am I talking about AFO or Horikoshi? YOU DECIDE

he’s sitting at a table with a bottle of wine holding his dead brother’s embalmed severed limb and thinking about fucking quirk shit

so your transformation from Orphaned Cryptid to Billionaire Supervillain happened almost completely offscreen huh. I’m kinda disappointed, ngl. I could have read a few more chapters about that. maybe a spinoff miniseries

WAIT WHAT

are you serious. we finally get a panel that’s INCREDIBLY RELEVANT to pretty much ALL OF MY BNHA THEORIES, only for that same panel to contradict itself ONE SPEECH BUBBLE LATER?? so what is the truth???

omg omg omg

so many fucking questions, omg. what the hell does “through research” even mean. how did he confirm Yoichi’s quirklessness, and why did he later change his mind? how the fuck can Yoichi have a quirk factor and yet not have an actual quirk. “it was just so weak it didn’t count or something I guess” okay??? how much of this is unreliable narrator vs. the word of god? how is it we’re getting so many answers and yet all I have is more fucking questions you guys

BRUE?CE?CEE??!

bruce

Kudou is so goddamned hot. I hope you washed the hell out of that arm wound after getting it all covered in sewage you stupid sexy man

I can’t get over Three’s name. “idk if anyone noticed, but it’s kind of a subtle homage to another very famous superhero” Horikoshi your nap wasn’t long enough, please go home

also love how Bruce is talking shit about OFA being a puny loser quirk for wimps. how the fuck do they even know what’s going on, anyway? was there a tutorial???

oh you just had a feeling huh??? that it was “something like this”, huh??? how is it that I, who knows all about OFA because I’m from the future and have read 408 chapters of this nonsense, am somehow still less in the know than this handsome clown who doesn’t know shit but just “had a feeling”

(ETA: while editing this post I noted that Bruce is sitting in front of a computer in what seems to be some sort of medical lab, so maybe they ran some tests or something? except that only makes me more confused, because it implies they didn’t actually figure out OFA’s workings via convenient plot instincts. so then how the fuck did they figure out the transfer process?? questions)

meanwhile AFO is sitting in the panel next to him whining about how someone stole Yoichi’s quirk. excuse you. he did not steal it. it was in fact a gift

these flashbacks are all jumbled up and it’s unexpectedly fun to read, but also really chaotic

I guess he’s talking to Kudou on the right and AFO on the left

so many intense closeups of eyes in this chapter oh my goodness

Horikoshi even drew the individual goddamn eyelashes. this looks like the margins of someone’s notebook from when they were really bored in middle school

oh my god the information overload!!!

so much for AFO actually feeling emotions lol. or is he just lying to himself about why he cried. that delicious ambiguity

so we don’t even get a flashback explaining how the transfer actually happened?? to either Kudou OR my beloved Bruce?? goddamn you Horikoshi. omg I would seriously kill for more of this. make a movie about it. I want the OFA origin story prequel movie damn it

I like how AFO just sits there on a throne holding court with a single tiki torch beside him for aesthetic reasons

I can’t quite figure out how he killed Banjou and I’m not sure I really want to know. it looks very violent

friendly reminder that Shinomori is Sir Not Appearing In This Flashback because he’s the only OFA user who died of natural causes! good for you Shinomori. En probably wishes he was more like you

poor En

was Nana just taking a stroll or something one day and stumbled across this epic fight with the evilest man on the planet vs some kid in a trenchcoat, and then the poor kid got bisected and he looked at her and he was all “please eat my hair” and she was just like “ok”?

OH WOW

what a transition omg

LOLLLLLLLL

you know, part of me always wondered how All Might was so certain he’d killed AFO that he apparently never bothered to confirm it. but looking at this panel now, I can understand

fjjfdzjgf

he’s sweating so much. like “okay yeah he punched the top of his face off, this is pretty bad but I’LL DO MY BEST”

BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY AWW SHUCKS

so let’s recap. over on Kacchan’s side we have “GOTTA USE THE PAIN TO WIN!!!” haha ouch. and then over here on KFO’s side we have. whatever the fuck we just experienced over these past two chapters. so basically it’s a battle between the two most deranged characters in the entire series. glorious sweet chaos

DSFJKSLDKGJL he’s now trying to figure out how the fuck they look so much alike and whether they’re actually related

“no, that can’t be it. so then maybe... this kid grows up and then somehow travels back in time...?!” HE’S JUST LIKE US FR

so now he’s saying it’s because Kacchan didn’t have character development yet the last time, but now that he does his eyes are all Full Of Determination just like Kudou’s and so we’ve basically come full circle!

transcended WHAT? :O :D :D omg I’m kidding you guys please don’t hurt me

lol

actually the more we learn about Kudou the less I personally see the resemblance now lol. because Kudou seems so calm and collected, but Kacchan is just... [gestures to literally everything about Kacchan]

so AFO’s trying to strategize, but he can’t warp Kacchan away because the only available targets are too close and he’s still got that SUPERSPEED, BOYO so it wouldn’t make a difference. lol but if you kept doing it repeatedly it might be kind of funny though

and he can’t keep fighting him either because he’s getting his ass whooped and it’s speeding up his de-aging or whatever. well you could just give up then I guess. your call, AFO

oh was that your plan?

spoiler alert for me lol. but it’s not exactly shocking or anything since he’s dying, guess he wants to abandon ship

(ETA: just FYI for anyone reading this who’s not familiar with my dumbassery, I have currently only read chapters 1 through 374 at this point in time, before skipping ahead to 403 because Kacchan came back and I lost all willpower. I am working on catching up with the rest!)

oh so now you did come up with a strategy?

lmao what the FUCK

how much of this is going to be clearer to me once I finish the chapters that I missed, and how much of it is just plain old “nope this is all brand new zero-context BnHA bullshit” lol. this looks like every single quirk AFO ever absorbed combined into one gigantic horrifying blob that forced Horikoshi to take an extra week just to draw it

oh my god!?

Kacchan hovering there bravely facing all this is giving me Gandalf “you shall not pass” vibes and I’m LIVING FOR IT

so either AFO is going to kill Kacchan for the second time right here and now, or he’s going to fail and turn back into a squishy evil baby fdslfjkls

love how All Might is all “DODGE IT YOUNG BAKUGOU!” thanks for the warning, champ. doing his part

more exploding bloodsweat closeups. are these just going to be a mainstay of Kacchan fights from now on

“are you stupid?”, when faced with [gestures to the entirety of the previous page], is possibly the best line ever uttered by anyone in the series. even better than the polite “coming through” uttered only seconds before it

ah man. you love to see it. he literally doesn’t even care. HE ALREADY DIED ONCE TODAY, AND IT CLUED HIM IN TO THE FACT THAT HE’S A MAIN CHARACTER AND ACTUALLY IMMUNE TO DEATH. sorry AFO it’s curtains for you. CURTAINS

#bnha 408 #all for one #bakugou katsuki #ofa the second #kudou (bnha)#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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coldgoldlazarus · 7 months ago

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Okay, mostly done screeching in excitement, now it's analysis time.

First point: That purple blast of the turret getting taken out looks great.

Looks like we're opening hot, a lot like Corruption's beginning. Hopefully won't be quite as protracted as the Norion battle, though, lol.

Also, I've seen some jokes already about how this section will end with Samus getting depowered like the openings of Prime and Echoes, but given how barebones her arsenal seems to be here, (missiles and morph ball, which sometimes she just starts with and keeps, maybe bombs too) I don't expect that to happen.

The HUD and helmet edges are a lot more dialed back this time, pushed as far into the corners as they can go. Probably better for visibility this way, but I am gonna miss the more wraparound feel of the previous setup, with the missile count and hazard meter along the sides. But this isn't a bad look by any means, and we still have a fair few items here.

A & B: My bet is this is the replacement for the old hazard meter. In addition to keeping it out of the way, putting it right next to the motion tracker is a good move. I may actually remember to use that more this way.

C: Health bar is obvious, of course, but I really like the move of tucking it away into the notch on the top of the Echoes/Corruption/Beyond(!) helmet visor. The lines around it suggest an empty row above, undoubtedly for the energy tank pips once those are picked up.

D & E: Minimap is present as usual, not really much to say there, but I love the addition of a compass direction scroll beneath it, which should be helpful for putting places in context of the broader map. (Tallon IV's elevator label system, anyone?)

F: Missile count has been shunted down from the side to the bottom corner. I'm interested to see if it will grow upward, or just stay in its present spot and scale accordingly, as you collect more expansions.

G: This is the one everyone's already pointed out, but it seems that we won't have a visor OR beam swap readout.

Scan Visor is still an option as shown in the next bit, but based on the lack of an indicator in the hud, it's probably just going to be a toggle between that and combat, without anything else like X-Ray or Thermal or Echo or what have you. (Or it could be that that would only get added to the HUD after picking up a third visor, but I won't hold my breath for it.) Kinda disappointing to deemphasize one of the cool new mechanics the Prime subseries brought to the table, on one hand, but I'm still grateful to have the Scanner, and the extra ones always did struggle a bit to see much use.

Similarly, a bit disappointed this means we're probably looking at a stacking beam like in Corruption and the 2D games, (unless of course beam swapping is still there and just being left off the HUD until relevant for the sake of cleanliness #copium) but not entirely surprising; I'll live.

But what is interesting is what's there instead. The D-Pad seems to be tied to non-Beam weapons or tools instead, with the missile launcher as the only one available at present. I'm really curious to see what the other items will be; I imagine this is going to be Prime 4's unique spin on things. I saw someone suggest affinity weapons like in Hunters, but given those all function like Beams, it feels weird to me to set them against Missiles instead, ammunition requirements notwithstanding. I'm not going to rule those out, of course, but I could see this being something completely different entirely.

Again, I am very glad to see the Scan Visor is still here at least. Even better is that it uses the full-body highlighting of objects like Echoes and Corruption instead of Prime 1's icons. Pretty minimalistic layout, all told; I like that the scanning bar is a ring now. And it doesn't reflect Samus's face by default like in Corruption, which makes sense since we're not liable to have the same kind of mutation shenaniganry happening here.

I forgot to snag a screencap of this bit on my computer, so forgive the lower quality, but this scene is interesting for a few reasons.

The Pirates' breaching charges letting them into this room just as Samus passes through a gap in the wall overhead is a nice touch, and also remniscent of some sequences from early on in Corruption.

The Federation guys in here seem to be wheeling away someone or something on a stretcher in a hurry. That could be important.

Energy tank up in the rail section, but blocked by a box. Are we just going to bomb through to get it right away, or will we drop down into the room, and have to come back from the other direction to pick it up? (Please be the other direction)

Samus looking spiffy here, even at a distance. And as some have pointed out, looks like she's walking out of a portal instead of a door, pointing to either more dimension-hopping shenanigans like in Echoes, or possibly the time travel elements I recall hearing Tanabe wanted to play with at some point. (This plus the black hole look of the logo makes me think this could be more likely.)

Whatever the nature of the portal, though, the interesting thing to me is the sort of circular structure in the rock around it, suggesting a doorframe almost. A lot of the portals on Aether seemed to actively cut into the environment at random, the rock carved out in perfect spheres with fucked-up edges, and interrupting the pre-existing architecture or geology. In contrast, this looks like it was put here on purpose, implying a more controlled creation. Potentially really fascinating implications in that.

I also kinda wonder if these portals will be replacing elevators as a way to get between regions.

Ignoring the big numbers in the middle, (though they do kinda mess with my prediction that Prime 4 was going to be a 2024 holiday title to avoid getting eaten by Switch 2's inevitable 3D Mario launch title,) a couple things stand out to me here.

Giant tree in the background is giant, and I love it for that. Also looks like it's not the only giant tree here, even if still probably the biggest. I hope we get to go there later.

But in addition, we have a bridge in the middle distance, and a tunnel opening in the foreground. I will eat my hat if we don't get to cross that bridge, and my bet is that they're going to pull a similar trick here as with Skytown, letting low-poly versions of other "rooms" be visible from the current one, but dividing them with interior sections for optimization reasons, allowing for amazing landscapes of all traversible terrain. I loved that there, it looks great here, I can't wait to go explore all this myself next year.

#not a reblog #metroid #metroid prime 4 #metroid prime 4 beyond #metroid prime beyond #HOW COOL IS IT TO HAVE AN ACTUAL TITLE NOW #AAAAAAAAA

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chillingwithtavesss · 2 days ago

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I am sure Kaia did the dumping , I do not think Austin did it. Kaia, she knows her worth and what she can bring to the table . I do not know why you all give him so much power and automatically assume that Austin did the dumping.

This has to be trolling . There is no way you are serious with this ridiculous nonsense. You really think an Oscar nominee who has been in the business longer than his “girlfriend” doesn’t know what he bring to the table ? A man who is the reason why her name is out in the tabloids a lot more since dating him ? Kaia is an insecure girl she definitely doesn’t know her worth . You can legit look at her and tell that, especially some of the public interactions with Austin too. She can’t keep up with that man and who he is. Kaia isn’t the one who did the dumping if they are broken up I can tell you that. Her behavior screams “oh let me make my ex/man jealous” . She needs to stay relevant and Austin will be the best she ever had. Even if I wasn’t a fan of Austin I would still say that lol 😂

#ausssbutlershortstories #chillingwithtavesss anons #chillingwithtavesss #ausssbutlershortstories anons #austin butler #kaia gerber

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soupthatistohot · 1 year ago

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BSD 110: An Absurdist Analysis

The fate of Aya Kōda

Since my post analyzing BSD 109 in accordance with Asagiri's absurdist storytelling got so much love, I've decided to continue analyzing the chapters thru an absurdist lens when I deem it relevant, and making predictions accordingly. I think that not only is it an effective way of reading BSD, it gives us readers a bit more hope that things will turn out okay when the plot is... like it is right now (lol).

I recommend checking out my BSD 109 post if you haven't already this since I explain the philosophy of the absurd in depth there :)

BSD 110 spoilers below!! Obviously! Also TW for discussion of suicide.

So. I really don't think the ten year-old girl is going to die.

On top of Aya being "the last hope" (more on that later), suicide is one of those things that absurdists really frown upon.

Aya's plan as I understand it right now is to add her weight to the table in order to pull the sword from Bram's body, this is why she jumps. If this works, the sword will be dislodged and she, the sword and the table would fall to the ground, which is very far below -- she would likely die upon impact.

Absurdists really don't like suicide as a solution to hopeless situations, most absurdist storytellers have their characters commit suicide because they have "given up". It's submission, giving into the meaninglessness of our reality rather than rebelling against and embracing the absurd.

We see this with Oda in Dark Era, his suicide mission is framed as him giving up on life because the orphans were killed. Of course, it also served as catalyst for Dazai's character development, compelling him to escape a situation that would have likely ended up in his own eventual suicide. All this to say that even though Asagiri chose to make Oda go on a suicide mission, the overall narrative purpose still lent itself to absurdism through Dazai's decision to defect. It needed to happen for the story to move forward as it has (and as we know from BEAST, there literally cannot be a universe in which both Oda and Dazai are alive).

So, if Aya dies now, what message does this send? It's almost certain that the world will literally end if she does, meaning that everyone's efforts up until this point have all been for naught, which, as I explained in my BSD 109 post, is the opposite of the entire point of BSD as an absurdist text. Aya is really the "last hope" right now, with all our other main characters pretty much screwed or just not present.

"Nothing is impossible for a warrior of justice. We beat the bad guys and save the world, no matter what happens."

What Aya says right here is something I'd liken to the Dazai quote I brought up with my BSD 109 analysis: "The ones who actually make the world turn are those who scream within the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood." Both communicate the idea that there's never an acceptable point in time to give up (suicide), that there's always something more that you can do, even when things seem bleak. Those who "make the world turn" are one in the same with Aya's concept of "warriors of justice."

Aya may not succeed exactly the way we expect her to, but she absolutely is not dying like this. On top of the absurdist storytelling reasons, she's just a child. Of course, we know Asagiri isn't above killing kids, but Aya is a bit different than the other children we've met in BSD. Her character has been built up and developed, she has a fleshed-out backstory, and we've spent a lot of time with her. To kill off a little girl we've come to care about a lot would just be cruel, plus her death wouldn't really serve a narrative purpose right now.

So, what could happen?

One prediction is that Aya adding her weight to the table does dislodge the sword and she falls, but she is saved by another character. We know Kenji and Tecchou are out there right now, we haven't seen Yosano or Kyouka in ages, etc. etc.. Basically, there are definitely people out there that could come to her rescue.

But there's an option I like a lot better: Aya's ability manifests.

Aya Kōda was a 20th century Japanese novelist and essayist, and the namesake for the Aya we know in BSD. As far as we know, all the characters who are named after real-life authors possess an ability inspired by the life/work of said author. Aya doesn't have an ability yet, so logic follows that she will develop one by the end of the series.

I'm not sure where I read this, so take it with a grain of salt, but I believe that in BSD the character's abilities manifest because of trauma. Not only does Aya live in a somewhat emotionally abusive household, but she's literally been thrust into the middle of a conflict in which the world could literally end and has decided to jump off of a tall building to try to save the world -- I'd say that's pretty traumatizing!

I'm not familiar with the irl Aya Kōda's works enough to speculate about what her ability would actually do, but there's a decent chance that because of the current situation, her special ability will manifest in order to prevent her from dying and/or dislodge the sword from Bram. This would also fit absurdist storytelling very well, she's literally doing jumping off a building as a complete last ditch effort, it's a crazy plan that probably won't work -- but her other option is to just accept death, and that's not acceptable. If she were to manifest her ability in this moment, it would reinforce the idea that rebelling against the absurd has value, that even when things seem at their worst there's always something you can do.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts! Please feel free to add anything you find relevant, especially if you're familiar with Aya's irl counterpart! See you next month ;)

Here's the BSD 110 translation I pulled the panels from.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd 110 #bsd 110 spoilers #bsd manga #aya bsd #aya koda #bsd absurdism analysis #soup rants #but seriously tho how narratively amazing would it be if aya manifested her ability rn #like when everything seems hopeless she attempts smth absurd and is rewarded for it basically #RAGHGHGHH #asagiri i wanna kill u and kiss ur brain simultaneously

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vilevenom · 26 days ago

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I wrote a part two to "Made to Worship at Your Bed" that no one asked for, lol. Also, I got tired of working on it, so idk if it's as good as the first one. But, I tried! Like before, this fic is EXPLICIT. I ain't your mama, but make good choices.

With My Mind He Runs

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog (no specific media)

Pairing: Sonic/Shadow

Summary: Sonic was used to Shadow being in a foul mood, but perhaps...perhaps he had a way he could fix that.

WARNINGS: Explicit sexual acts. Characters are depicted as ADULTS

P.S - If you want a full list of tags, I'll be posting this on AO3 shortly

Sonic sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping as Shadow stormed into the kitchen.

Date night had become a more regular occurance after their first proper one, with Sonic making an effort to clear his calendar at least once a month, and Shadow purposefully booking days off from GUN. Of course, it wasn't always a guaranteed thing, with Eggmans attacks being unpredictable, and GUN sending Shadow off on missions here and there, more often than not without warning. However, the two made a concentrated effort to spend more time alone together.

Tonight was supposed to be one of those nights, with Tails having a sleepover at Charmy's, so the hedgehogs could have the house to themselves. Sonic had even made a point to get ingredients for home made pizza, since Shadow had complained only the week before about how all the hero seemed to eat were premade foods from the convenience store and chili dogs. He wanted to show Shadow that he could cook, he just never felt the urge to. Unfortunately, it would seem that whatever GUN mission the hybrid was coming off of had put him in a foul mood, which would likely sour his demeanor for the rest of the evening. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened, and most likely wouldn't be the last. But, by this point, Sonic liked to think he was relatively well versed in how to deal with Shadow when he was in a mood. He'd adopted a rather simple tactic for it, really.

Just let him rant.

"…And then he had the audacity to tell me that I was wrong!" Shadow snarled, setting the table more aggressively than was strictly necessary. Sonic was fairly confident that the plate Shadow had just set down was cracked from how hard he'd slammed it onto the table, but he wasn't about to make a comment when the hybrid was so riled up.

"Mmm, that sucks, Shads," Sonic hummed, absently twirling the pizza cutter between his fingers, before slicing into the steaming hot pie.

"And that wasn't-!" Shadow started, his quills bristled in anger, before he visibly deflated, catching Sonic's eye as he slipped on oven mitts to bring the pizza to the table. "It wasn't even the worst part of my day," he finished, much quieter than before.

"…Shadow?" Sonic approached slowly, setting the pizza on the table softly before turning to the darker hedgehog with a look of concern.

"I…This is going to sound so petty," Shadow groused, rubbing his hands over his face, "But, Commander Tower, he…When I got back from my mission, after the debrief, he wanted to speak with me. It was nothing important, or even really relevant to GUN. He just wanted to talk. I guess he's trying to make reparations for how awful he was as a child." He snorted quietly, moving around the table to sit as he scooped up a piece of pizza and set it on his plate. "It was awkward and stilted, but I thought it was going relatively fine. That was, until he started talking about being on the ARK…He brought up Maria. I made an excuse to leave."

"There's nothing wrong with avoiding conversations you don't want to have," Sonic reassured with a shrug, snagging his own slice of pizza and sitting down.

"I know that. But…The way he spoke, it made me feel like I should have moved past it by now," Shadow growled, glaring down at his pizza as if it had offended him, "It's like he forgets that while he's had 50 years to work through what happened, I've only had a couple. And it's not like I can even really get mad at him, because I think he's genuinely trying to be better. It's…frustrating." With that Shadow took a vicious bite of his pizza, glaring at the plate while he chewed, only to perk up a moment later. "This is very good. Did you actually make this, or did Tails and you're just taking the credit?"

"Nice avoidance tactic there, Shads," Sonic snorted, arching a brow at the hybrid, who looked a bit sheepish at being caught out. "I did make it, thanks. Glad you're enjoying it. I do happen to have some culinary skills. Had to feed Tails and I somehow, y'know. Now, as for Tower…have you tried talking to him?"

The dark hedgehog snorted loudly, taking another vicious bite of his pizza. "Ah, yes," he spoke around his mouthful of food, "Let me just have a heart to heart with the man who, the last time I can recall seeing him as a child, called me a freak and ran off yelling about how I needed to stay away from him." He finished chewing and swallowed his bite. "The man who is now my boss, and runs the military. Yes, let me just make some tea and have a little chat with him about how I still get nightmares about the ARK raid, and have panic attacks over it. That sounds like a fantastic time," he bluntly stated, offering Sonic nothing but a deadpan stare.

"Hey! It was just a suggestion. You don't need to get all snappy about it," the hero scoffed, leaning back in his seat to rock on two legs as he ate his own slice.

Shadow opened his mouth as if to speak again, scowl on his face, before obviously thinking better of it and slumping down in his seat with a sigh. "I'm sorry," he muttered, setting his half eaten pizza back on his plate, "I shouldn't be taking my frustrations out on you. It's supposed to be date night, and I'm ruining it."

Sonic let out a breath, tossing the last bit of his own slice into his mouth, letting the front legs of his chair hit the kitchen floor with a resounding thump. "It's okay, Shads," he hummed, offering the other a lopsided smile, "You needed to vent. It's not my favorite activity, but I get it."

"I shouldn't be venting on date night," Shadow grumbled, shaking his head slightly while offering Sonic an apologetic look. "I am sorry. I shouldn't come straight here after work when I'm frustrated. I need to find a way to cool off, so I don't do this again." He let out a slow breath, "I wish I could get out of my own head, sometimes…"

At that, Sonic's ears perked forward, a little gift he'd had stashed in his room for a few weeks now jumping to the forefront of his mind. "Well," he hummed, sucking on his teeth for a moment, before shooting Shadow a sly little smirk, "I may have an idea about that? A way for you to maybe get out of your own head, and make it up to me?"

Canting his head in curiosity, Shadow arched a brow. "Oh?"

"Mhmm," Sonic bounced up from his chair, offering Shadow a hand, "You interested?"

"Intrigued, at the very least," the hybrid hummed, taking Sonic's hand and allowing the hero to pull him from his seat and lead the way upstairs to his bedroom.

Upon entering his room, Sonic shut the door and leaned on it for a moment, taking a deep breath, before crossing the room to his bedside table and digging into one of the drawers, all while trying to ignore the curious set of red eyes watching his every move. Once he found what he was looking for he stood with his back to Shadow, suddenly very much doubting if this was really an appropriate time to give it to the hybrid as a sudden case of nerves froze him to the spot.

"Sonic?"

"Right! Yeah," Sonic coughed, hiding his gift between his hands as he turned to Shadow with a nervous grin. "Okay, first just let me say, you are totally allowed to punch me through the wall if you think this is inappropriate, or if you think it's weird," he rambled a bit, before spreading his hands, allowing a thick red ribbon to dangle from his fingers, a shiny gold pet tag hanging from the center. He watched Shadow's gaze snap to the tag, anxious nerves making him fidget where he stood. The two of them had experimented with different sexual acts a few times since that first fateful date night, when Shadow had unintentionally dropped into subspace, but it hadn't really happened again since, and they hadn't really spoken about it, either.

"Is that…?"

"It…it's a collar and tag," Sonic admitted, staring down at the ribbon instead of continuing to watch Shadow's reaction, mouth running away on him, "I know we haven't really talked about that night, but…I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, if I'm being honest. I read that usually submissives buy their own first collar, and it's this whole thing if a dominant buys a collar or whatever, so this isn't exactly, y'know, by the book, or proper etiquette or whatever…Which is why I just got a ribbon! Because, well, I thought that if this was something you really liked or wanted, we could look for a proper one together. The tag doesn't have anything on it, either, since I didn't know if you were really serious before, about being called a 'pet'. So, uhm-" He gasped as suddenly Shadow was inches from his face, bright red eyes boring into his own.

"Yes."

"Wh-huh?" Sonic grunted as Shadow pressed a rough kiss to his lips, before turning his back to the blue hero, his tail wagging faster than Sonic was confident he'd ever seen it go before. "D'you want me to…?"

"Yes," Shadow shot him a look over his shoulder, relaxing his quills so Sonic could get closer without fear of stabbing himself while maneuvering the ribbon.

"Oh," Sonic breathed, truly not having expected to get this far. He quickly shook himself from his stupor to carefully untangled the ribbon from his fingers, reaching around Shadow to wrap it neatly around the hybrid's neck. He was careful not to tie it too tight, but tight enough that the little gold tag nestled into the top of Shadow's white chest fluff. Once satisfied he stepped back, chewing on his lip as he watched Shadow's reaction to the simple, light collar.

Hesitantly, the hybrid lifted his hand to touch the tag, gazing off into the middle distance as he traced his fingers over the simple circular shape. After a moment, his attention flicked to Sonic, eyes focused once more, though his gaze was softer than before. "How does it look?"

"So pretty," Sonic couldn't help but coo, a dopey little smile on his face, "It suits you." He didn't miss the pleased smile Shadow tried to hide by turning towards the mirror on the back of the closet door, nor the way the hybrid's muzzle flushed pink. Slowly, he walked up behind Shadow, who was tilting his head this way and that in the mirror to see how the collar looked at all angles, gently placing his hands on the black hedgehog's shoulders. "Do you like it?"

It took a moment, but finally Shadow offered Sonic a tentative little smile, resting his hands over the hero's with a short nod. "I do."

"I'm glad," Sonic hummed, pressing a kiss to the side of Shadow's muzzle. "I sort of agonized over giving it to you for a little while now."

"I couldn't imagine why."

"Oh, no? Mister shoot first, ask questions later? Couldn't imagine why I, a hedgehog that has seen the bottom side of your air shoes more times than I'd like to admit, would have trouble getting up the courage to offer you a collar? Really?"

"Point taken," Shadow said with a quiet chuckle, letting his hands drop to his sides. He watched himself in the mirror for another beat or two, before turning in Sonic's hold, dislodging his hands. "What now?"

"Now we discuss a few rules, and then I had an idea for a nice little test run."

"I assume you're referring to 'do's and don'ts', as well as a safe word?"

"Pretty much," Sonic shrugged, "I figured we could work with the stop light system for now, instead of a safe word? Since we're just starting out, and I wanna keep tabs on how you feel about things."

"Green for good, yellow for slow down, and red for stop?" Shadow rattled off quickly, surprising Sonic for a moment, before he recalled the black hedgehog mentioning that he had done a lot of reading before their first time about being a submissive.

"Yup! That's right. And then hard rules; do's and don'ts. Personally, I'm down for pretty much anything, though I draw a hard line at bathroom stuff. You?"

"Ah," Shadow faltered, looking a bit flustered as he absently fiddled with the tag on his collar, "I'm not sure?"

Sonic clicked his tongue quietly, rolling his eyes at himself. "Right, duh. Kinks aren't exactly something you've got a lot of experience with. Uhm…how about we stick with no pain for now, yeah? No hitting, scratching, slapping, etcetera. Judging from the last couple of times we've had sex, you respond better to praise anyway, so I'll stick with that. Does that sound good?"

"Yes?"

"That sounded more like a question, Shads," Sonic scolded lightly, reaching out to take the hybrid's hands, "If we're gonna do this, you've gotta be sure. I don't want to hurt you."

"Right. You're right," Shadow murmured, giving Sonic's hands a gentle squeeze, "Those terms sound agreeable to me."

Sonic snorted a quiet laugh, grinning and bouncing on his toes a bit as he leaned in to press a kiss to Shadow's lips, his tail whipping back and forth behind him. "Perfect," he sighed into the hybrid's mouth. "One last quick thing…you can call me whatever you want, but I'm gonna either call you by your name, or pet. Maybe babe or baby, we'll see. That sound okay?"

"That's fine…Can I call you 'sir'?"

"Fuck, Shads," Sonic groaned, a visible shiver going up his spine, "Yeah, you can definitely call me that. Now…go take off your clothes for me, and get on your knees next to the bed."

Shadow watched Sonic for a moment, obviously having a brief internal debate, before he licked his lips and began to move with a quiet, "Yes, sir."

Sonic watched as Shadow slipped his shoes and socks off near the bedroom door, before taking his gloves off and setting them on the hero's desk. He then shot Sonic one last questioning glance, before gingerly settling himself on his knees with an encouraging nod from the blue hedgehog. "Already such a good boy," Sonic praised, kicking off his own shoes and socks, while tossing his gloves aside with far less delicacy than Shadow had exercised with his own clothes. He then trotted over to the bed and sat down on the edge, nudging the hybrid's knee with his toes to get Shadow to turn towards the bed. "There we go. Perfect," Sonic hummed, lazy grin on his face, "Now…I want you to put your hands on your thighs, and don't move them. No touching yourself, got it? You're just gonna watch for now."

"Yes, sir."

"Nnn, yeah, I don't know if I'm ever going to get used to that," Sonic sighed happily, absently dragging a hand through his chest fur. He bit his lip as he locked eyes with Shadow, quirking a brown as he slid his hand down to draw two fingers over his pouch, rubbing gently just along the outside of the slit. He let out a low chuckle as Shadow visibly swallowed, his attention laser focused on Sonic. "Look at you," the hero sighed, licking his lips as he teased himself, encouraging the head of his cock to slip out of his pouch by gingerly dipping the tip of his finger into his slit, "Sitting so nice and pretty. Mnf…Do you like watching me, Shadow?"

"Yes, sir," Shadow murmured, his voice slightly strained as he clenched his fists against his thighs, his own pouch becoming visibly swollen.

"Good," Sonic purred, dragging his free hand over his chest and up into his quills while spreading his legs wider to give Shadow a better view. "Would you like to touch me, pet? Hmm?"

"Please, sir."

Sonic let out a pleased hum, tossing his head back as his cock slid free of his pouch. He stroked at it languidly, teasing only the tips of his fingers along the length of it and relishing in the low whine he could hear Shadow trying to repress. He tipped his head forward to watch Shadow as he swirled his thumb over the head of his dick, smirking at the way the hybrid had sucked his lower lip into his mouth to bite at it, either to suppress his little sounds or to help ground him, Sonic couldn't say. Either way, he quite liked the look of eager anticipation in Shadow's eyes. He teased at himself for a moment more, before finally shoving himself up from the bed and taking a short step forward so his cock bobbed just in front of Shadow's face, the hybrid nearly going cross eyed as he stared it down, the previous anticipation on his face morphing into mild surprise.

"Open your mouth for me."

Shadow's gaze flicked up to Sonic's face, trepidation blatant. Oral was something that Sonic enjoyed performing, but Shadow had yet to return the favor. Sonic wasn't sure if it was because the hybrid was nervous about his fangs, or if Shadow just didn't think he'd like the taste, but the hero hadn't been able to get the idea out of his head for months.

"It's okay, Shads," Sonic soothed, reaching down to gently stroke Shadow's ears, "If you feel overwhelmed, or want to stop for any reason, just grab my leg and squeeze, okay? Otherwise, keep your hands on your thighs."

Swallowing thickly, Shadow gave a short nod, while slowly opening his mouth for Sonic.

"Good boy," Sonic drawled, caressing Shadow's ears, "Open wide, and stick out your tongue a little bit. That's it." The hero waited patiently as Shadow followed his instructions, before easing the head of his cock into the hybrid's mouth. "Mmm, yeah. See? not so bad, right?" He scratched gently just behind Shadow's ears as he shallowly rocked his hips, a low purr rumbling in his chest at the quiet little slurping sounds Shadow was making. "Your mouth was just made to be used like this, wasn't it, pet?" he began to ramble a bit, grinning to himself at the calm, serene expression beginning to settle itself on Shadow's face as he fell into the steady rhythm of Sonic's cock sliding in and out of his mouth. "That's right, baby. Just focus on the feeling of my dick against your tongue. Doesn't it feel good? Letting me slowly fuck all those pesky little thoughts out of your pretty head."

Without warning Shadow began to purr, surprising Sonic, resulting in a startled yelp and a swift jerk of his hips, which unintentionally shoved his cock into Shadow's mouth deeper then he'd meant to. He began to apologize and pull out, only to pause at the low whine the hybrid let loose as the tip of Sonic's dick slid past his lips. "Oh? Did my pet like that?" he asked as Shadow began to lick at the head of his cock, earning a shudder and a low chuckle from the hero. "Okay, okay," he sighed, sliding his length back into Shadow's mouth, petting at dark ears with a satisfied moan as Shadow's purrs began to kick up again, "You can have your toy back, don't worry. I'll make sure your head stays nice and empty, yeah? Mmm, such a good boy. You really like how I feel in your mouth, don't you? The perfect little pet, aren't you?"

Sonic smirked as Shadow's eyelids fluttered, a happy little moan leaving the dark hedgehog at the praise.

"Yeah, such a sweet boy I have," Sonic sighed, sliding his hands from Shadow's ears into his quills, an idea rapidly forming in his head. "Though, I wonder," he hummed, pressing himself further into Shadow's mouth, watching the hybrid's expression intently, "Just how far down my pretty pet's throat can I go?" He held fast to Shadow's head, chewing at the inside of his cheek as bright red eyes popped open, an alarmed little sound leaving him as his purrs stuttered out, though his hands remained firmly on his thighs. "It's okay, Shads," Sonic murmured, pressing in a bit deeper, biting back a groan as he felt the tip of his dick press into Shadow's throat, "I've got you. You can take it, I know you can. You're such a good boy. My perfect pet can take my cock all the way down his throat, can't he?"

Shadow grunted as Sonic pushed deeper, tears springing to the his eyes as he squeezed them shut, his hands jumping momentarily from his legs, only to clamp back down, his claws digging in slightly.

"That's it, Shads. Breath through your nose and relax. Almost there," Sonic murmured, shifting one foot forward to give himself better leverage as he continued to gingerly push forward, biting at his lip as he watched his length disappear into Shadow's mouth. "Fuck. You're so pretty, Shadow. Love watching you swallow down my cock like you were made for it," he muttered, "And you were made for it, weren't you? Your throat was made to be fucked like this. Such a good, good boy." He let out a low groan as he finally bottomed out, Shadow's nose pressed into his pelvis, his throat fluttering around the length shoved down it as he struggled to breath through his nose. "Chaos, Shadow," Sonic breathed, scratching his claws lightly through black and red quills until his fingers met the hybrid's sensitive ears once again, his thumbs absently petting over them. "You feel amazing, pet. If I weren't sure you would choke," he sighed as he began to pull his hips back at an excruciatingly slow pace, "I'd fuck your throat nice and deep. When we get you all trained up, would you like that? Hmm? Would you like me to cum down your throat after fucking it raw?"

Shadow gasped as Sonic finished pulling his length free of his throat, panting quietly as a few stray tears ran down his muzzle and drool mated the fur on his chin. He coughed quietly as Sonic knelt in front of him, clearing his throat as the hero gently cupped his face. "Yes, please. Sir," he finally muttered, his voice sounding wrecked and deeper than usual.

Sonic let a feral little grin settle on his face, pulling the hybrid in for a rough kiss, pressing his tongue into Shadow's mouth to taste himself there briefly. "You're amazing, Shadow," he moaned as he pulled back, wiping drool from Shadow's chin, "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but Chaos, I hope I keep doing it." With that he stood back up, smirking as the black hedgehog eagerly opened his mouth once again, his tail wagging eagerly as he closed his eyes in anticipation. "Oh, baby," Sonic chuckled, taking his length in hand to gently rub the head of his cock against Shadow's tongue and relishing in the whine he got in response as he pulled away, "As much as I would absolutely love to continue fucking that gorgeous mouth of yours, I have other plans for you."

Shadow blinked his eyes open, his mouth closing with a quiet click of his teeth as he tilted his head at Sonic. He whimpered as Sonic slid a foot between his legs and nudged gently at the underside of his erection, which had slid free of his pouch while Sonic had been using his mouth like his own personal flesh light.

"You're being such a good boy, and I've been wanting to feel this inside me for quite some time," Sonic hummed, sliding his foot back and striding across the room to his desk. He rummaged around for a moment, pulling a bottle of lube from the mess after a beat. "You keep sitting there and watch me, okay? I'm just gonna get myself ready for you," he purred, striding over to Shadow to gently caress his muzzle, "I won't be able to keep an eye on you, but you'll keep being a good boy and keep your hands to yourself, won't you? You won't touch yourself while I'm not looking, right?"

"No, sir."

"Good boy," Sonic leaned down for another sloppy kiss, letting his tongue rove over every inch of Shadow's mouth, before breaking away with a lick of his lips. "Stay." He then turned to trot over to the bed and bend over it, stretching his arms out like a cat against the bed spread as he arched his ass into the air, letting out a chirrupy little moan as he rutted against the side of the bed briefly. He shifted enough to glance behind himself at Shadow to see the hybrid's reaction, entirely pleased with himself at the way shining red eyes were glued to his backside, and thick beads of precum were already beginning to drip down the side of Shadow's cock, while his hands remained steadfastly on his thighs. Sonic let loud purrs erupt from his chest as he drew one leg up to rest his knee on the side of the bed, while pouring a copious amount of lube over his fingers, before reaching back and shoving one into himself without preamble. He was pleasantly surprised as his own moan was echoed by Shadow, causing him to hide a smirk in the blanket as he began to work himself open.

Sonic didn't take nearly as much time with himself as he had with Shadow previously, thrusting each finger in and out of himself once or twice before adding another. Upon thrusting three fingers into himself a few times he drew his fingers free and sat up, glancing over his shoulder to find Shadow shallowly panting on the floor, his claws digging into his thighs hard enough to nearly pierce skin, and his cock an angry, neglected red. "Awww," he cooed, leaning back down to wiggle his ass at Shadow teasingly, "Is my perfect little pet just aching to shove his big fat cock into me? Hmmm? Do you want to fuck me, Shadow?"

"Yes, sir. Please," Shadow managed to choke out, while Sonic watched a generous pearl of precum ooze from the tip of the hybrid's cock and dribble down the side.

"Well, then," Sonic hummed, sitting up and patting the bed eagerly, "I shouldn't keep my pet waiting anymore, should I? Come lay down."

It took a moment for Shadow to push himself up from the floor, gingerly shaking his legs out after kneeling for so long, before he hurried over and onto the bed, laying down as the hero had instructed. He got himself settled amongst the pillows, his eyes bright with anticipation as his dick continued to slowly wept precum onto his belly.

"Such an eager boy," Sonic teased, situating himself between Shadow's knees once the hybrid was still, "Now. You keep your hands on the bed, okay? No touching." He chuckled quietly at Shadow's petulant low growl. "Now, now," the hero chided gently, reaching up to press Shadow's hands down into the blanket, "You're going to feel so good, baby, I promise. But I want to play with you for a little bit, okay? Promise you'll be a good boy and keep your hands to yourself?"

"Yes, sir," Shadow growled out after a moment, obviously not pleased with his instructions, but following them regardless as he dug his claws into the blanket, his hips jerking up slightly as his cock twitched against his stomach.

"Perfect," Sonic purred, drawing a lazy finger up Shadow's length with a smirk, gathering a thick glob of precum, "Look at you. Haven't even touched you properly yet and you're drooling all over yourself." He paused as he shoved his finger into his mouth, watching as Shadow's face screwed up, a low whine leaving him at the gentle tease. Sonic pulled his finger free and chewed his lip for a moment, before leaning up and over Shadow. "You good? What color light?"

Shadow groaned quietly, licking his lips quickly as he rutted himself against Sonic's stomach, "Green."

"Ohh, naughty," Sonic chuckled, letting the moment of churlishness slide as he settled back again. "Alright. Let's get you ready for me then, shall we?" he hummed, pouring lube into his hand and wrapping it around Shadow's shaft, giving the base a light squeeze.

"SONIC!" Shadow shouted gruffly at the touch, his claws digging into the blankets as he turned his head to press his face into the pillow.

"Ohhhh, poor baby. Sorry. I won't tease," Sonic cooed, loosening his hold and stroking up to coat Shadow's shaft, "Don't worry. We'll have that all sorted out here in just a second." Once he felt that Shadow's girth was well coated he repositioned himself, straddling the hybrid's hips, the head of his cock just barely kissing the hero's entrance. "You ready?"

"Please," Shadow gasped out, peering up at Sonic from his spot half hidden in the pillow, "sir."

"Such a polite boy," Sonic purred, letting gravity pull him down onto Shadow's sizable cock. He grinned at the broken little noises the hybrid let pour from his mouth as Sonic sunk down at a leisurely pace, his own litany of whimpers and groans joining the cacophony. "Fuck, Shadow," he gasped once he was fully seated, his fingers trailing absently over his stomach where he could swear he could feel the bulge of other inside him, "You're so big. Fill me up so good, don't you?"

Shadow didn't answer, but the holes being torn into his blanket told Sonic all he really needed to know.

He ground his hips in little circles, enjoying the feeling of being full, before he leaned backwards and tapped at Shadow's legs. "Bend your knees for me, pet," he instructed, humming happily as Shadow did as he was told, though the hybrid was obviously having a touch of trouble controlling himself, if the way his face was still screwed up was anything to go by. "What color, Shads?" Sonic gasped out, using Shadow's bent knees as leverage, the hybrid's length slipping free of him as he hoisted himself up.

"Green! Oh, Chaos, green, green, green," the black hedgehog chanted, his toes curling into the blankets now, adding even more little holes with his claws.

"Good boy," Sonic sighed, letting himself drop back down heavily with a gasp, his ears perked forward as he listened intently to Shadows quiet curses and grunts of pleasure. "Fuck, you're so big, Shads," he whined as he pulled himself back up again, hovering as high as he could hold himself, so only the tip of Shadow's length was still inside, "Can you believe you even fit?" He chuckled, before letting a loud moan rip from his throat as he dropped himself heavily back down, his own cock drooling precum into the puddle already on Shadow's stomach. Slowly, he began to increase his pace as he got used to Shadow's girth, tossing his head back as he bounced on the hybrids' cock, biting his lip at the filthy, wet sounds of his partners dick sliding in and out.

"Fuck!" Sonic gasped out as Shadow's control finally slipped, as the hybrid's hips snapped up as blue hips dropped down. "Chaos, Shadow," he whimpered, leaning forward to rest his hands against Shadow's chest, panting into the black hedgehog's face for a moment as he gathered himself, "That wasn't very nice, was it, pet?"

"Sorry. Sir," Shadow growled out, twisting the blankets in his hands against the bed.

Sonic clicked his tongue quietly, watching Shadow writhe beneath him for a beat. "…Color?"

"Mnn," Shadow grunted, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, before letting out a breath and looking up at Sonic pleadingly, "Yellow."

"Okay," the hero cooed, stroking his fingers through Shadow's chest fluff, "That's okay. What part do you need me to slow down with?"

"Let me touch you," Shadow begged, "Please. I don't…it's not enough."

"Hey, hey, it's alright," Sonic soothed, leaning in so he could peck a few featherlight kisses to Shadow's muzzle, "Of course. You can touch me all you'd like, baby. You were being so good." He gasped as Shadow's hands immediately flew to his thighs, claws lightly digging into skin through his fur. "Careful, pet. Watch your claws."

"Sorry, sir" Shadow murmured, visibly relaxing as he caressed Sonic's thighs in apology.

"It's alright," the hero hummed, sitting back up, a shiver running through him as Shadow's length slipped fully back into him. "Mmm…Can I continue? Color?"

"Yes, sir" the hybrid moaned, arching his hips a bit to push himself deeper into Sonic, "Green."

"Ah! Fuck," Sonic jerked at the push, little sparks of pleasure dancing up his spine. "Nnn…Shit. K-keep doing that," he groaned, starting up his previous rhythm of bouncing on the hybrid's cock. He let his hands settle over dark, grasping fingers as Shadow began to meet his movements partway, driving the hybrid's dick faster and deeper into the hero. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck," Sonic chanted, panting as his legs began to shake, "I-I can't…" He lifted himself and drew away as Shadow tried to push up into him, rolling off the hybrid with the least amount of grace he was certain he'd ever had, flopping onto his back next to the other.

"…Sir?"

"Yellow."

Shadow sat up in alarm, hands hovering in the air, obviously unsure if he was welcome to touch. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Haaa, no," Sonic chuckled, tilting his head to offer Shadow a reassuring little smile, "You're doing great, actually. Little bit too great, though, I think, 'cause my legs are starting to feel like jello." With that he pushed himself up and rolled over, dragging a pillow to his face as he shoved his ass into the air and spread his knees, his tail swaying invitingly over his slick entrance. "I'm gonna need you to do the rest of the work, pet."

"You want me to…?"

"Fuck me, Shadow," Sonic hummed, shit eating grin half hidden by the pillow, "Fill me up like I know you want to, pet."

With a low growl, Shadow quickly scrambled onto his knees, not needing to be told twice as he positioning himself behind Sonic. "Yes, sir," he purred, sliding his cock easily into Sonic's well stretched hole.

"Fuck! Shadow," Sonic moaned, burying his face into the pillow as the hybrid wasted no time in wrapping his arms around the blue hedgehog's chest and starting a near brutal pace, pumping himself into Sonic over and over again without hesitation. Sonic tilted his head to tell the hybrid to slow down, when suddenly he saw stars, a choked wail leaving him instead as the hybrid slammed into his prostate, Shadow's deep purr rumbling against his back as he wantonly shoved himself backwards into the other's thrusts. "Ah! Hah, yesss, yes! Just like that. You feel so good," he babbled into the pillow, drooling as Shadow hammered into him.

Sonic wasn't expecting Shadow to change his position, so when, without warning, the hybrid pushed his hips down into the bed and and pinned his hips by straddled him, he choked on a gasp. Shadow ground his dick into him, his brutal pace turning into short, sharp thrusts, forcing Sonic to rut against the sheets. He whined as he tried to push himself back up, but Shadow sunk his teeth into Sonic's shoulder and held him fast, ignoring the hero's squirming as he chased his pleasure by brazenly driving himself into the hero's body.

"Shadow! Shadow, please," Sonic panted, reaching back to grab at Shadow's quills, only to choke on another breath as the hybrid clenched his jaw, forcing the tips of his fangs into Sonic's shoulder, drawing blood. "F-fuck! Ah!" He shuddered as Shadow bucked into him a few more times, whimpering loudly when the hybrid finally stilled, the thick length inside him pulsing as warmth poured into him. He whined long and low as his own neglected length remained trapped between his stomach and the blankets, twitching weakly as his stomach bloated with Shadow's spend.

They lay like that for a minute or two, until Shadow's cock finally finished throbbing inside Sonic, all while the hybrid licked apologetically at the bloodied bite mark.

"Yeah, you better be sorry," Sonic grumbled quietly as Shadow nuzzled at the side of his face, "You've got some making up to do." He shuddered and mewled as Shadow's cock gingerly eased out of him, a low whine escaping his lips as he could feel the hybrid's cum begin leaking from his abused hole. "You came a lot, huh?" he chuckled into his pillow, squirming slightly as Shadow pressed back up against him, his hot breath against Sonic's ear causing them to twitch.

"May I clean you up, sir?"

"Well," Sonic sighed, "Dirty boys should clean up their messes, shouldn't they?" At that, Shadow's weight lifted away from him, with the hero fully expecting the hybrid to leave to go fetch a cloth, as Sonic had done before. He hoped that the other would take a moment to find the clothes in Sonic's messy bathroom, so he'd at least have time to finish himself off. Instead, Sonic jumped as Shadow's hands began to knead at his ass, spreading him open once again. "Shad-OH!?" He yelped as a bold, hot tongue pressed against his ass, lapping eagerly against his entrance.

"Color?" Shadow's voice was slightly muffled against Sonic's ass cheek, his fangs gently grazing the skin there.

"Ahhh….green," Sonic managed to gasp out, his claws digging into his pillow as he arched his back into Shadow's face. He was definitely going to need new bedding after this, he thought briefly, before the hybrid's tongue was suddenly delving into him, a surprised shout ripping from his throat as the appendage wriggled inside him. He nearly wept as he buried his face into his now torn up pillow, while Shadow thoroughly 'cleaned him up', all while his still hard cock was pinned against bed in such a way that he couldn't cum, no matter how much he desperately wanted to.

Finally, after what felt like a gloriously torturous eternity, Shadow's tongue slipped free of Sonic's ass, the hero letting out an overwhelmed sob as the hybrid sat back. "Chaos," he groaned, tears running down his face, his limbs shaking as he shifted to reach a hand down to try and relieve himself. However, that didn't seem to be the plan, as Shadow's hands were back on his hips without warning, and the hero found himself flipped onto his back, a surprised yip leaving him as he rapidly tried to regain his bearings.

"Color?"

"Huh? Oh," Sonic blinked owlishly, his sluggish, overstimulated brain taking a moment to catch up to the question, "Green."

The low growl that Shadow let out at Sonic's answer made the hero shudder, before another loud, startled shout left him as Shadow grabbed at his hips once more and the hybrid's mouth was on him. He whimpered as Shadow pressed kisses against his hip bones, his fingers tangling in red and black quills, tugging lightly, his neglected cock oozing a steady stream of precum onto his stomach. "Please, Shadow," he openly begged, sucking in a shuddering breath, "Please. Let me cum, pet."

Shadow glanced up at him at that, his eyes sharp and almost predatory as a slow grin split his lips. Then, any thought that may have been in Sonic's head flew right out as Shadow took his dick into his mouth and sucked him down. Not all the way to the back of his throat, like Sonic had been before, but as far down as he could comfortably go. And the warm, wet heat was more than enough to finally shove Sonic over the edge, the hero coming with a scream loud enough to rattle the walls while he pulled harshly at Shadow's quills.

When Sonic's hips stopped twitching and he managed to blink back into reality, he found Shadow hovering over him with a mildly concerned look on his face, his hands absently rubbing at Sonic's thighs.

"Hey," Sonic rumbled, his throat sore and raw from his screams, "I'm okay, Shads. You did really good, pet, I promise. Just…I feel a bit floaty. Give me a sec?"

Shadow hummed quietly, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Sonic's lips before vanishing from the bed momentarily, returning with a glass of water.

"Aww, thank you," Sonic murmured, grunting quietly as Shadow manhandled him into a sitting position, before accepting the glass into shaky hands and taking a long, slow sip. He cleared his throat once he felt it was sufficiently moistened after his yelling, offering Shadow a reassuring smile, since the hybrid was still hovering worriedly next to him. "You did amazing, pet. A very good boy. I don't think I've ever cum that hard in my life." He chuckled as Shadow's tail began to wag, the hybrid moving to tuck himself into Sonic's side and curling against him, his nose pressed into the bite he'd given the other earlier. "Mmmm, such a good boy," Sonic sighed, petting at the quills he'd pulled on as he sipped at his water.

It took a while for Sonic to finally feel his legs enough that he felt like he could stand without falling over, but when he finally did he gently tugged on the bow he'd tied Shadow's collar with, the weight of the little golden tag causing the ribbon to fall onto the bed between the two hedgehogs.

"…Sonic?"

"Didn't figure you'd want to wear it in the tub," the hero hummed, sitting up slightly and dislodging Shadow from his shoulder, "I really need a bath after all that. Pretty sure you do, too."

"I'll go run it," Shadow murmured, slipping from the bed. He paused at the side briefly, a contemplative look on his face, before he reached out and gather the dainty ribbon collar into his hands, chewing absently on his lip.

"…Did you not like it?"

Shadow snorted, shaking his head as he trotted over to Sonic's desk and reverently laid the ribbon down on it, making sure it was flat and neatly displayed, and the tag was clean. "I think I liked it too much."

"No such thing," Sonic teased with a smirk, leaning over to set his now empty glass on his bedside stand. "Did it work?"

"Did what work?"

"Did having the collar on let you get out of your own head?"

The hybrid blinked, staring off into space for a beat, before a fond, warm little smile settled on his face as he turned to Sonic. "It did."

"Then that's all that matters," Sonic shrugged, shoving himself to the edge of the bed. He yelped as he overcompensated and toppled off the side, landing in a rather ungraceful heap. He whined petulantly as Shadow simply chuckled at him, rolling over to shoot the hybrid a glare. "Rude."

"Perhaps, next time, you could simply ask for help," Shadow snorted, leaning down to scoop Sonic into his arms, swiftly turning to the door once the hero was settled in his hold.

"Perhaps next time," Sonic scoffed in a mocking tone, tightly wrapping his arms around Shadow's neck so he couldn't be dropped.

"Brat."

"But I'm your brat."

"How unfortunate."

"Hey!"

Later, as the two sat in a warm bath, bubbles overflowing onto the floor, much to Shadow's chagrin, Sonic perked up, turning to Shadow with a curious look.

"What?" Shadow sighed, already sounding put upon.

"I haven't even asked anything yet."

"No, but I have a feeling I'm not going to be particularly fond of whatever you're going to ask me."

"Presumptuous," Sonic snorted, flicking bubbles at the other, "I was just curious…what gave you the idea to stick your tongue in my ass, when, like, twenty minutes earlier you were nervous to have my dick in your mouth?"

"Ah," Shadow sighed, sinking into the water up to his shoulders, "I'm not sure, really. It just felt…right. In the moment."

Sonic chuckled, draping himself over Shadow's shoulders and settling himself in the hybrids lap, blatantly ignoring the way his movements made the bath water overflow onto the floor. "I mean," he snickered, nuzzling into Shadow's cheek and pressing a sloppy kiss there, enjoying the groan of disdain he got out of the hybrid, "You weren't wrong, but damn. You could've given a guy a little warning."

"I asked you what color you were. Was that not sufficient, when I had literally just licked you?"

"Hmm, fair point," Sonic chuckled, "Fair point."

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #shadonic #sonic fanfiction #things that i wrote #are there more tags I should be using?

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