#t but i just feel like she shouldnt be saying that to me. i dont know it just feels weird. i dont see it as anything even though it is some

[skaluli]

guess who finally got to go to a therapist again today after losing their other one

ME!!!!!!!!!!!

[urbestestwindgod]

epic the musical sagas 1-7 song rating tw i have bad taste

1. keep your friends close—this shouldnt be a shocker this was the song that after knowing abt epic but noy having tiktok at the time to be able to see its progress n stuff i didnt know much abt it n listening to the songs out of order was confusing but the moment i hesrd this enchanting melody i was a fan fan downloading tiktok just for the updates from jorge this has been my unbeatable favorite for a while im rlly annoying abt it as we know

2. open arms—the first released song i heard that introduced me to epic and again not knowing much abt it or how to listen to it in order in the early days (fun fact my intelligence peaked in algebra and ive never been that smart abt anything else ever) seeing ppl talk abt polities not knowing he died was kinda scary like wdym this cutie goes to “the wrong club”?? :(

3. suffering—its fun n ody gets to talk to his wife what do u want from me

4. scylla—AHHHHHHHHHH i fold over and seize every time those strings start after the “hello”

5. ruthlessness—like the idea of poseidon man handling him what can i say WHAT DO YOU W A N T from meee

6. wouldnt you like—i would i would

7. remember them—hes so dumb i lovw him

8. lucky runs out—if iii wasnt overstimulated rn i could gather my thoughts and explain this but unfortunately i am a student

9. storm—this and luck runs out are twins in my head and heart

10. polyphemus—THATS MY CYCLOPS!!! HELL YEA!!!

11. legendary—very good, love how telemachus sings like an adolescent love his dreams and love him unfortunately it IS in the same saga as….her

12. little wolf—I THOUGHT WE WOULD ALL AHIP HIM AND ANTINOUS AFTER THIS AONG BC THERES TENSION GUYS I SWEAR WDYM ITS CONTROVERSIAL :(

13. no longer you—if i could dance i would dance to this, with air probably but still

14. full speed ahead—need this song spoonfed to me while i bang on the table like a toddler in a highchair

15. the horse and the infant—NEOPTOLEMUS MENTIONED??? AHHH!!!!

16. different beast—lovely lovely lovely his voice is so

17. survive—oooo uhhhh

18. mutiny—it shocks me every time somehow

19. monster—should be higher but i forgor abt it srry—yeayea great song kick my feet to it wvery tim

20. warrior of the mind—greek son and thought daughter (was funnier in my head)

21. my goodbye—she leaved :(

22. puppeteer—if circe (odyssey) didnt plague my view of circe (epic) i would like her songs more sorry guys

23. done for—is it baaaaadddd that i dont have many thoughts on this :(

24.there are other ways—IM SURE THERE ARE CIRCE IM SURE THERE ARE

25. thunder bringer—again this was meant to be higher but i was gonna put it somewhere special and forgor :(

26. the underworld—oh ouch ouch ouch ouchie ouch

27. god games—THE SNIPPET OF THIS WAS THE FIRST EPIC SONG I EVER HEARD AND KICKSTARTED A GREEK MYTHOLOGY PHASE THAT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER FORGIVE JORGE FOR. apollos part was so short tho 😔 sigh…

28. just a man—I LIKE IT I JUST NEVER REMEMBER IT AGHHHHH I LOVE IT THO I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR

29. we’ll be fine—OMFGOMFGOMFG unfortunately it is right before….yeaaaa

30. love in paradise—OH EWEWEWEWEWEW i would like this a lot more if people didnt act like calypso deserved to feel happiness or joy or pleasure or even life? idn where this unbridled hatred for her comes from i dont feel this way about way worse characters BUT I WANT EVERY DEATH IN THE ILIAD DONE TO CALYPSO FIVE TIMES EACH CALYPSO WHEN I CATCH UR ASS—its not even about odysseus anymore ody get in the car mama has business to attend to WHEN IM NOT SORRY FOR LOVING U COMES OUT I WILL SHAKE MY HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND and gently and discreetly remove it from my epic playlist :3 i block everyone i see who talks positively about her genuinely she ruins my day. i know shes not real but still the concept of her makes me physically shake in anger sometimes in the middle of my perfectly normal day SHE SUCKS I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH dont ask me why i dont know why but just just put me in a room with her and every weapon ever ever made that would be wish fulfillment for me

saga rating is ocean, thunder, cyclops, troy, underworld, circe, wisdom (and depending on how im not sorry for loving u goes justr know vengeance is going in eighth)

anyways uhm im a little manic this week but i hope i didnt make u hate me TOO much with this i am aware that my taste in everything is bad my favorite food is plain butterless angel hair noodles ans my favorite drink is water, my favorite color is green, my favorite animal is probably frogs bc most animals give me the heebie jeebies, and my favorite book is frankenstein thanks for being here i love u :3

[bulbabutt]

yooooooo all i do lately is vent vent vent uhhh

itsssss really annoying to feel traumatized over shit that doesnt actually matter at all but you cant feel like a person who functions cuz of it

like. mkay, few years ago i did a stupid thing which was uh. pre coming out but post taking testosterone tell this girl ('girl' she was older than me, im an adult but sos she) i that i was trans. then that i had a crush on her. like a fucking idiot, i was like 'girl pretty girl nice maybe i can finally have something'

and the thing was like. we had this lax fucking job that didnt matter, we were both basically running this shitty lil store nobody came in for the christmas season. and like i had admitted id never done anything, but i should have noticed it was gonna be weird quicker, cuz while she was understanding of like 'ok yeah youre a dude i get that' it was. hmm. it wasnt really like she felt like that, and she didnt notice so much that shit she would say hurt my feelings. like this was so unserious honestly, but uh the thing abt taking t in your mid 20s is youre like... right im... im going through a literal puberty and being stupid as a teenager. im bad with expressing my feelings normally cuz of that.

anyway. it was a fling really. it was stupid and shouldnt have happened, and it probably hurt me more than i thought, but she got like... jealous of one of the employees who id known from a prev job... who to me was like. literally a child (cuz like, id known her since she was) and that made me feel so weird, cuz i was like ?? why the hell would i be thinking about her like that i havent done ANYTHING that would make you think that. and hello i only said i liked you ? but then i guess the age gap was the same in her eyes and so that might have been why she thought that. but like pfft if youre ~25 dating a ~30 yr old its whatever thats normal. going the other way gets weirder ESP if uh. HELLO i was this kids boss?? that was so weird that she felt like that. i guess cuz i was just better at getting along w people younger than me, as someone who isnt a TRUE millennial, someone whos pop culture references lean gen z or whatever. idk i just know kids like my vibe for some reason. there was NEVER anything else going on i was just... being chill? but that was enough to cause jealousy.

but like yeah theres only so many 3 weeks in 'i dont think this is a good idea i think im bad for you' texts you can get before you just go 'yeah you know what i dont wanna do this anymore actually thats fine no hard feelings'

but i tend to be a person who just cant socialize with people for long periods of time, i ghost people a lot, i dont have a history of having friends i dont know how to maintain relationships, but also i really didnt want to at this point. i felt really gross about it and embarrassed for putting myself out there and admitting a secret about myself.

anyway next year rolls around and i see her at the next job season and she tells me she and another coworker found my tiktok page (cuz shit forcibly adding your contacts IS THE DEVIL) and uh. she had to explain to said coworker that i was trans. which. felt like shit. obviously. i was still not out.

anyway THAT person was a piece of shit who talked down to me and acted like i was terrible at my job and brought aLL the personal shit up as if i had ever trusted HER with any of it. like using my new chosen name in texts and shit to call me out for nothing. i had to give her a fucking 'excuse me, you dont get to call me that i never fucking told you that and its WEIRD that you think you get to call me that just cuz you invaded my privacy.'

she literally told both my bosses about all my private shit with this girl. like all that stupid bullshit about how we had dated and it didnt go well, she spread my private shit. and like... it all... ugh. like i got told by said bosses 'hey. none of what she said is important at all dont even worry about it.' and i really appreciated that. but that year was so bad for me, i felt like i was being watched like everything i did was being misconstrued. everything blew up so fast if there was something sma,, and it was 100% that person making it worse.

next year i just came out finally just was like. yeah alright. got a beard now, had my tits removed, might as well. and everyone was chill. personal beef spreading bitch didnt come back (the bosses were glad of that) shit was chill. was on friendly terms with "ex" being normal, never had any beef that year. was very much a 'the beef we had the previous year was this bitch egging her on'. i was partially running store. everything was fine i thought.

next year. as it turns out? was not asked to help run store that year. was very confused, there was a slot to fill that no one else could and i wasnt asked to do it. instead they had this absolute bigot who made everyone and i mean EVERYONE who worked there so uncomfortable, abusive language bigoted talk, wouldnt let people leave if they were sick ass piece of shit.. yeah he got the job. and everyone complained, but hes friends with the boss so whatever.

anyway reached my wits end. quit mid season. was fine, i was moving anyway, it was whatever.

you know why i wasnt asked to have that job? cuz the ex. for some reason without thinking, said 'yeah ill come back but i dont want him to be in charge after last year'. and she... never told me there was any problem. and that hurt me so bad. like talking to other people who were there, it all seemed like... okay, i was good at my job and would just.. act like a boss and not a friend sometimes. like be the guy going 'hey can you like. go do __ i need to count the till i dont have time to hear your funny joke rn'. and she took it personally. like its fine if youre sensitive to stuff, but i was under so much stress a lot and i dont always handle it well.

and that beef she had that she didnt tell me about turned into me losing a job, losing my sanity, feeling utterly betrayed and forcing everyone else who worked there to deal with the biggest pos as a boss with no repercussions. i heard from people post quitting i was being talked shit about by my prev bosses TO the employees. for the crime of... complaining about a bigot. who was misgendering me, being racist to other employees, making the teens feel unsafe to be around. like this was a SCREAMING old man kind of shit.

and all because the ex, initially, made a comment about not wanting me to be in charge. and i just... i really dont even know what i did. it was so underhanded. and when i asked her about it, she just said 'no i didnt say i WOULDNT work under you i just said i HOPED you wouldnt be in charge, and weeks later i asked why you werent in charge' but like??? no. you literally said something that cost me a job. you did. theres no taking that back, you didnt tell me any beef you had with me, you clearly equated job stress with personal stress. you cost me a job! YOU did that you set off a chain of events! and like i cant even begin to explain how much i helped her with shit at jobs. like i kind of took all the responsibility but we were both being paid the same. i would get called every day by her being confused by things while i was at home and help walk her through shit. it was fine, i was stressed but i was fine i never held it against her!

and she like. blew up that entire shit. that whole job i loved got blown up cuz i thought i trusted a person. like was it entirely her fault? obviously not. but that kind of shit.. it just hurt. the idea that i trusted her with my own shit years ago, then time and time again that blew up in my face until i just cant look back at any of it happily anymore makes me so upset. 8 years of a job i loved w a friend, and it all got ruined cuz i said 'hey by the way, im trans' and that spiralled into something stupid.

and i havent had a job since for SOOOOOOME REASON..... i sit at home doing fuck all cuz i cant stand the idea of being around anybody again. i dont trust anybody. i dont feel safe talking to people, being in public, having a job... its so stupid and i hate everything.

also the whole. got clocked and almost punched had my 6 ft brother not been standing near me at the time thing. so now i am uh. just completely agoraphobic.

anyway. sorry i am just in a bad place lately.

[mcl4r3n]

one thing about me is that i am never going to be able to listen to 'illicit affairs' and 'august' by taylor swift without thinking about dando

like especially the bridges in those songs just scream dando angst to me and specifically lando pining for daniel angst. i wish i could expand and explain, but thinking too hard about dando makes me fucking insane 😭

Nonnie. Oh my god. Nonnie this is fucking me up. I'm gonna. im gonna like. curl up into a ball or something because. like. okay.

tw cheating tw WAG mention so i will understand fully if you dont wanna read further than this

Just thinking about like okay so like 2021-2022 daniel and heidi are on and off again, and in the times when they're off, daniel and lando start fucking around, but like the entire shitstorm of 2022 happens yeah and now daniel is on his danbbatical of 2023 and he's taking heidi around the world with him etc etc but in the times when she's NOT with him he's hitting lando up to hook up and like lando was okay with it before, yeah, even until 2022 because like. close proximity and everything.

but like it's Different now because there's none of that. like daniel and heidi are fully Together together and lando sees the photos he posts of heidi at scotty's wedding and he hates daniel and hates her and hates himself but like. he still keeps going whenever daniel asks.

he never mentions heidi to danny, and danny never mentions heidi to him. their hookups are far and in between now because of daniel's schedule but the more time they spend apart the more lando misses him.

the more lando realizes that he is actually jealous and really does want daniel for himself and hates that he's letting himself be the side piece especially on the heels of this horrible season for him.

he starts becoming ruthless about it. he starts wearing daniel's merch (especially since heidi's been wearing daniel's merch too). he starts declaring openly that he misses daniel.

he has this warped idea that if he's more open about how he feels about daniel, it will convince him that he's the one for daniel, actually. but he'd never outright say that to danny. so he thinks he can compete with heidi, show that he's sweeter, more thoughtful, just overall better for daniel.

and then one day like after silverstone, they hookup. and like, okay, post nut clarity, daniel's lying in bed with lando's jizz on his chest and he's staring at the ceiling and he says, "heidi and i broke up."

and lando tenses up. this is the first danny has mentioned her all year. he thinks god. okay. this is it. this is finally it. he pretends he's concerned, but inside he;s rejoicing, and he hates that he is but he is. but he's still like. cautiously asking things like "oh, what happened?" "when?"

and daniel's looking at him really like. . . heartbroken.

"I told her about us."

Lando's frozen. He's like. freaking out, actually. for a whole bunch od reasons but also mainly because like he is a part of this and shouldnt he have gotten the fucking heads up that daniel was gonna tell someone else about them???? and so he's like. speechless.

"I uh. i really hurt her. and i really hurt you too. like, ive been stringing you both along and i just. i dont think—i. this is the last time we can do this."

and lando's tearing up because like. what the fuck. like this isnt what he wanted. he wanted daniel to choose him. so he says so. he says that lando doesn;t mind, that he's right here, that he wants to be with danny, but daniel leans in and kisses his cheek and says, "lando, there's a lot i gotta figure out, and i've. . . i shouldnt be with either of you. im not a good person."

and lando is confused and upset and frustrated for so many reasons, he's worrying now about heidi getting revenge, the press, everything, and daniel says, "she won't tell anyone. she won't. she promised me. and i did hurt her but she told me i needed to get my shit together first before i thought about even thinking of being with anyone else and—she's right."

and lando's chest is caving in and he's like. "so what, you fuck me one last time, didn't even tell me it would be the last time, and now you get to fuck off? why didn't you tell me this beforehand?"

and daniel is like "because you'd have tried to make me stay, and i can't stay. trust me, you don't want this—" he waves his hand around to gesture at himself. "not right now, anyway."

"but i love you. danny, i love you. you don't have to—we can just be together, like, i'm right here, we can just be together already now—"

and daniel is tearing up too and he says, "you should be with someone who isn't an asshole, lando. you should be with someone who didn't string you along and have you play second fiddle when it was convenient. that isn't me."

and now i have written myself into a corner anon and i am deeply sad and i dont know how to resolve this but for NOW it ends here like this. :(

[thecraziness]

why dont you like cherry? genuine question not hating

hiiiii nah ur good

i used to hate her tbh many moons ago 3 months ago, but i realized that honestly shes not that bad?

really, i think my issue comes down to the fact that even tho she did all that, she still wouldn;t say hi to pony in the halls. that, ngl, bugged me for a while.

i think shes pretty bad*ss for dumping her drink on dally, ngl. absoluter queen for sticking to her morals. and i admire her for at least saying hi to pony at the movie theater yk.

however. i am annoyed that she chose to hang out with them, most likely knowing that there would be consequences. she knew her bf was drunk, and rude, and be angry, but chose to ignore it.

i also get annoyed that she is very patronising to pony. maybe its just me, but shes very like "oh u dont understand cuz ur young and all" idk if that makes any sense

and again, while i admire her for being willing to talk to the greasers, i also am annoyed that she does that? it feels like shes a traitor, but she gets no consequences as far as i can tell. (this is more me being mad at unfairness than her ngl)

i prob shouldnt dislike her, and i def dont hate her. i do enjoy her chaaracter bc shes complex, and being here in teh outsiders fandom has def led me to not hate her. my feelings are complicated. im in the habit of disliking her, and its hard not to dislike her.

i also think that part of my dislike for cherry has to do w the fact that i read the outsiders when i was younger, and had more of a black-white mindset. in that time, cherry was cruel to pony and johnny, whcih made her bad. now, i can see that the characters are more nuanced, cherry and dally in particular. i didn't realize that before, and so i got into a sorta mindset of "cherry sucsks" and now its hard to escape that lol.

i think im due for a reread, and i'll prob change my mind again on cherry, but thats my thoughts on her at the moment. AGAIN I DONT HATE HER I THINK SHES VERY COMPLEX I JUST DONT LIKE HER BC SHES KINDA PATRONISING AND DID BAD THINGS

BUT SO DID DALLY SO IDK

if u ever wanna have a deeper convo just reblog this ill be happy to continue discussing

sorry this is so long

[dykeyote]

asks you say? well how do you think the dndads teens would react to being at ch&t? (crossover time?) personally i think it would be really fun and they would all have certain counselors they get attached too. Yvonne scary friendship?? they would overall cause more damage and chaos to camp than anything but it would be fun right?

THIS IS SO REAL YOU ARE SO REAL LET ME SHARE ..... MY THOUGHRS

normal is in cabin dungbeetle and is like extremely fucking invested in it . like putting juniper on the flagpole was his idea FOR SURE he struggles w lack of identity in the summer bc no school to have spirit dor so he just gets VERY invested in camp to cope . he has a moderate crisis of identity when they break apart bc he has cabin dungbeetle spirit AND camp here and there spirit !!?!??!?!?! oh the humanity ): he tries not to pick favorite counselors bc he sees the counselors as in their own way a mascot for both the camp and their own cabins BUT he specifically hates jedidiah for his lack of camp enthusiasm . that fucker grinds his god damn gears

scary is in cabin silkworm she likes yvonne and HAAAAATES joshua . speaking of counselors shed be attached to i actually think shed like sydney quite a lot near exclusively bc of the fact that he vents on the announcements all the time and her edgy teen self can identify w that. ppl are like why is he talking abt his personal shit again and shes like god..... ugh . youd get it if youd ever SUFFERED . if you had darkness in your heart if youd felt real pain.... i get him. You obviously dont :/

link i can never imagine being at summer camp hes too busy doing soccer ..... i feel like hed run away honest 2 god . and then like die in the woods bc of some freakish shit . imagining him in a camp setting is impossible to me . hed curl up and die in a place w no soccer and no fifa and no garfield he needs enrichment in his enclosure

taylor is a survivalist he would LOOOOOVE being at summer camp but only so he can run off and try and like live in the woods or some shit . idk what cabin hes in .... maybe magpie moth? i feel like hed just escape into the woods a lot . his fav counselor is inexplicably soren but only because soren is the groundskeeper and if taylor helps him w his rituals soren wont tell on him for being out there when he shouldnt be so taylors like heh. a small price to pay for expanding my skills......

lastly the hermster . hes in magpie moth with taylor also i think ....... u cant separate them . his favorite counselor is juniper by far bc he thinks juniper is just like him fr and is CONVINCED that hes method acting as british and as such he DEEPLY admires his enthusiasm and commitment to the role . however this also incites some competition in him so whenever hes at camp hes like 30% more annoying than usual bc he feels the need to outdo junipers acting prowess

[wanderrlust0]

T-T

also my bf is being weird again….!!!! everyy time i hang out with snow (which has been a month or two apart) he gets weird with me again!!! he acts cold and short with me and its always like the next day. he swears im gonna cheat or not want him anymore, no matter how much i tell him that i wont and that i love him too much to think about wanting to leave him. like, i feel secure in our relationship and theres only a few things that could make me feel like its not. when he gets all anxious like this about us i feel like its bc he just doesnt feel fully secure with the relationship.. even tho weve been together for 4.5YeaRs. hes also had way more dreams than he should be having of me breaking up or leaving him. bc of his anxiety and fear of being cheated!!! like he gets upset bc they feel real in his dream and then he thinks what if its trueee. i feel like thats not fair to me in a way bc im not doing anything bad behind his back or seeking out someone else to make me happy. i also think maybe him feeling insecure with himself plays a factor into it. like maybe he feels like no one wants to stay with him or i dont love him anymore and he doesnt feel good about himself and then ends up suffering in his thoughts alone and becomes a hermit crab. i didnt mention anything to his mood yesterday bc i didnt wanna pester him with more to think about and i wont be able to see him in person for like a wk. i just wanted to seem fine..but maybe ill say something today. yesterday when i was contemplating on talking about it, i was going to be like howve you been, are you okay, do you still love me. mostly the do you still love me question bc seriously. so im also thinking that he saw snows bday post on ig since theyre not private and saw how they posted my card&drawing i did for them and ofc that made him feel a type of way. like, why is she making good art for someone else. i did it bc they didnt even want me to buy a gift for them or treat them or anything. they suggested to make something bc they like to display art in their room from other friends who have given them art. like the two people who i met the other day, they both create digital art of people. but thats why i made that drawing. aaand im planning on painting something for my other friend for her xmas gift. so i dont see giving my art as like a romantic gesture or anything, its just another way to give a personalized gift and it saves money lol. like, i just wanna shout “you have nothing to worry about!” i mean they were literally gushing to me about a guy they started seeing and they went on their first date yesterday and texted me about it and im just replying like im their hypewoman. i feel like this whole thing is making it feel like his worst nightmare and it shouldnt beeeee

edit: 12.14 / alright so i asked him “do you still love me?” and he says, “well yeah, nothing has happened yet to make me think otherwise” ………YET….. YET?!? like why are you beingggg like thiss to meee

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 and we are at 4x06. He came back and sat down and went ‘okay so i am now fully relaxed and chill. I talked to myself in the mirror. And we both agreed that going forward, i will be now more calm.’ ‘What is this? Ohhhh Kinnetik launch party! awww he gave the check back. I knew it was killing him to accept the help…quick question, why didn’t he remove the showers? JUSTIN! Are we back to normal? Oh shit, Deb and Em are roommates!! BLONDIE IS BACK! MY BLONDIE IS BACK! Aww Brian, is gonna make a speec- why the fuck is Lindsay following him up there? Girl get the fuck out, you have nothing to do with any of this. AWW FEMALE BLONDIE IS UP THERE. See! SHE makes sense. Linds doesnt. AND JUSTIN! Now he makes sense because HE NAMED IT! Shoo lindsay, this isnt your moment. LOOK AT THEM KISSING! I LOVE THIS! This was nice! Finally my blondie is back!’ ‘Now why the fuck is Debbie ignoring Vic? Right, she’s angry but still. RAGE? A MOVIE?! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! She needs to stop being a bitch to Vic. I get shes angry but still’ ‘awwww he immediately went to Brian to tell him the news! Of course he did. MY BLONDIE IS BACK! That’s right Brian, go back to school Justin! Look at him making time to celebrate Justin. AWWWW’ ‘TED! AND EM! oh shit, this is gonna be tough, isn’t it? Yeah, i was right, this is tough. Fuck. I feel ripped in half. Im happy for Ted, i understand Em, but i want them to be friends again. Fuck’ ‘oh ben is miserable. And jealous and a bitch. Bro, he is your partner, you’re supposed to be supportive no matter what. Fuck you man’ ‘okay, i get Ted but dude! Come on. Hasn’t Blakey been through enough? Let that man live, he can’t catch a fucking break’ ‘FINALLY VIC AND DEBBIE MADE UP! We have a lot of catching up to do so let’s get to it babies! *waves to deb and vic* this is us when we grow up. Why is she bringing up what all she did for him because of aids? That’s wrong. I take it back, this isn’t us when we grow up. OH FUCK YOU DEBBIE! TOTALLY NOT US! NOT US! NEVER US!’ *he forced me to pinky promise that that wont be us* ‘did they change babylon? I dont remember this bench thing, because i know for a fact that they wouldve fucked on it by season 2. Ohhh Justin being sassy to Brian. Ohhh ibiza *says it like justin and then brian corrects justin* okay, my bad. He could have anything he wanted and he is betting school? HE REALLY CARES ABOUT HIS EDUCATION AND FUTURE. Fellas, how about this, you both fuck him. That way, you go to ibiza AND back to school? Win win’ ‘no Ben, the only piece of shit here is you. What a jealous prick. Who does that? Mike literally told him that he shouldnt judge his book cause he’s not smart enough since he didnt go to community college, which was fucked up b-t-w just to make up for hurting his feelings and this fucker cant even pretend to be happy for a moment? Fuck you. YEAH, GO OFF MIKE’ ‘aw Blake and Emmett. I need them to be friends. Oh god, i just had a realization. I sound like that chick in mean girls who wanted to bake cupcakes and make everyone friends. Blake, deserves the world!’ And now we are at the Britin/gym scene ‘it took 4 seasons for Justin to go with him to the gym? Bullshit, this man was stalking Brian like crazy in season 1. He would’ve had gym membership AND his personal trainer by episode 3. Ohhh its that guy! Damn, Brian really wants him to go back to school. What is he doing? Justin, what did you do? CRABS? What a little shit. I missed this. I missed them’ ‘Lindsay, what the fuck are we doing here again? Bagel? Hair and outfit, looking like that? Babe, what is going on? This is weird AND creepy. DUDE HANDS OFF HER ASS! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. YOU SHOULD’VE PUNCHED HIM HARDER AND LET HIM FALL! PIG’

Brother shouting about Lindsay being up on the stage at the launch party is so correct. WHY IS SHE THERE?

Your brother getting all worried and upset about Vic and Debbie's fight. I'm going to cry.

BRIAN DOES CARE ABOUT JUSTIN'S EDUCATION! I am so soft about that.

it took 4 seasons for Justin to go with him to the gym? Bullshit, this man was stalking Brian like crazy in season 1. He would’ve had gym membership AND his personal trainer by episode 3 OKAY I snorted at that. So accurate.

UGH the start of Lindsay and that guy. UGH

[polyamorouspunk]

… relationship advice cause brain is scrambled please? 🥺👉👈 Even if your followers wanna chime in thats fine too cause I just need an outside view to be honest. Warning long post.

So theres this guy I’ve been friends with since our freshman year of college (2018), lets call him T. We’ve gotten a lot closer over the last few years and I consider him one of my best friends and vice versa. And a few years ago there was some flirting between us but it didnt go anywhere. Really neither of us were in the place for that relationship back then.

Now he has a girlfriend, M, who absolutely hates me, but he is planning on breaking up with her after all the commitments that he has already paid for are up (like day trips and stuff). He is also trying to wait until the semester starts so that he doesnt have to see her anymore, as the last time they broke up, she went a bit wild and started causing trouble with his professors, trapped him in her room, etc.. The problem is that they currently live really close together and while he was in school, they had a LOT of classes together and were both officers of a club together. So the last time he broke up with her, he still had to see him every day and took every chance to cause a problem with him. He ended up getting back together with her just to make it stop. Putting it simply, I completely understand why he doesnt want to upset her until he never has to see her again. Though I think it would be better for him to break it off sooner rather than later.

This is where it gets iffy and I understand my friends telling me that I shouldn't give him a shot. A month or so ago, he confessed to me that he wanted to date me. And I told him off since he does currently have a girlfriend and the way he phrased it wasnt the best. It sounded more like ‘If you wait for me, I’ll date you’, which he has since very sincerely apologized for. He has been quiet about it until last night, where there was some innocent flirting (admittedly on both sides), but he did put a stop to it and tell me "I need to keep my mouth shut for now". My friends are worried that his willingness to tell me that he likes me and flirt while still technically dating his girlfriend, shows that he is just lining me up so that he has someone to date after he breaks it off with his girlfriend. But he has told me near everything that happens in his relationship and I know he hasn't been happy in it for a long time. And I know that he is worried about what she might do if he tries to break it off. That and I do actually like him, l've liked him since I met him, but was too scared to tell him back then. Its not like I'm thinking about dating him just so I don't have to be single, ya know?

So l guess the advice I'm looking for is, would it be okay to date him once he does break it off with her? I'm not necessarily waiting for him to do so, but if he does break up with her before I find a different guy, would I just be asking for trouble? Would it be better to wait a while after they break up if I'm still single? My friends keep telling me that 'a cheater is always a cheater', but none of them seem to really understand all the trauma that girl has put him through or that he hasn't really had feelings for her for a while now. Like a good while before he told me he wanted to date me. And to me, it does seem like he has been trying to keep his feelings to himself (save when he confessed his feelings to me and then last night, which was partially my fault, but he put a stop to). I dont know, I just dont see that has cheating considering the circumstances.

TLDR: My friends say that I shouldnt date a guy that I know really well because he told me he liked me while still in an abusive relationship. And now I’m questioning if I should even be considering the possibility of dating him. Help.

I think a friend of mine and I have been in similar situations for sure. Not to speak for them but I know that they broke up with an ex that was making them uncomfortable with someone else and then they ended up dating that person after the breakup which only made it worse for my friend. A little while after that I became friends with someone that followers of mine will know as Catboy and when I jokingly said that I was going on a “movie date” with Catboy (as friends) my ex broke up with me because he said I was cheating on him even though I was like no we’re going as friends but yk after he dumped me it did end up being a real date so. I know my friend was really pissed about their ex dating someone they felt was a threat right after breaking up with them and I’m sure my ex felt really pissed about me dating someone they felt was a threat after breaking up with me. So I see both my friend’s side as the person who feels “replaced” and my side as the person who was devastated to be dumped by the love of my life for “many reasons” and I have no regrets turning around and jumping into a very unhealthy relationship right after that. I think it was what I needed at the time and even though it became soooo fucking unhinged I was so desperate to be loved after being dumped I get it.

But here’s the thing: in both our cases the person was not already “planning” on dating the person behind another partner’s back. That’s REAL fucking shitty. Yeah, it’s a different story when that person is abusive. I think a really good fictional case of this is in the earlier seasons of 911. You root for Maddy and Chimney to be together even though Maddy was still married to her ex I think. I’m pro finding someone else to be in a relationship while being stuck in an abusive one for sure but like… idk there’s also nuance. There’s a line. I’m sure if you talk to my ex he’ll tell you I’m a crazy bitch. He had to dump me because I was just “too toxic” or whatever. If he was dating someone else on the side at the time or was planning to because he felt like I was some insane bpd bitch I would have been furious. Because I understand what it’s like to be a jealous bitch who hates your boyfriend’s friends. So I mean, I would be pissed in her shoes and I would say he’s cheating on her for sure. I get what it’s like to be an unhinged girl. So I can empathize with her, as someone who also gets treated like a crazy bitch sometimes.

I don’t really believe that “if you cheat once you’ll always cheat” because like I said there’s that exception of like “if you’re cheating because you’re being a battered woman and you’re physically afraid to leave but you’re craving love and receiving it from someone safe how can anyone blame you?”

I don’t think you’re wrong for being willing to jump into a relationship with him right when his ends and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to jump in a relationship with you right when his ends but I do think it’s really shitty to have someone you’re planning on dating on the side after you break up with someone while still dating them, and she has every right to be pissed about it and claim that she’s been cheated on. I think that still counts. I know “emotional cheating” isn’t a thing but I think planning on dating someone else while dating someone is close enough. But I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to date him when he’s free and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to date you when he’s free.

I’ll ask the other person I’m talking about if they want to chime in anonymously or not.

[expfcultragreen]

[Ambling rhetorical tone....not your white ex arguing with you tone...old man sucking on grass tone...get the jeff bridges in big lebowski AI v.o. dialed in]

A dude died doing a sun dance recently, some older dudes kept yelling at him that if a native dude didnt finish they couldnt do it again for 8 years, that the tradition was riding on him etc.

His widow says, it must be that he died because someone there had their period "which is unlucky". Sure. In my culture, its amazing luck to get it or be having it 🤷

Is it unlucky because the tradition since colonization is to implicitly harass women about how they should be pregnant instead, by acting like periods are evil magic that shouldnt be happening/present and that is deeply unwanted and suspicious? How many nonnative guys was he being made to compete against btw, in this sacred ceremony?

How rude of me

Like, is the widow going to spend the rest of her life hating the period-haver for this because the old guys who are actually responsible have been telling you your whole life that periods are bad

Btw do you have to do a time out when you get yours? Really drives the point home that if you were just pregnant right now youd be with friends and family like usual

Is that how it was known who was having their period? Having to isolate means everyone knows your ovulation cycle too, anyone can track it

The culture i was raised in, as many have noted, is the opposite of this: my theory is that its paramount that unwanted suitors be anaware of your ovulation timing so the move is to never let on when youre having your period, no matter how much discomfort youre in, so that your fertility optimums cant be tracked by others

Which is a different kind of stigmatization, but, theyre still lucky to get and have, it means an unwanted suitor didnt get you, it means the future is wide open like you could even have a bunch of kids because youre young and healthy* (if you were neither you wouldnt be having it; *this is exclusive of people who stop having it for medical reasons because it sucked so bad somehow, eg going on t and/or getting a hysterectomy, which, remember that missing ut' book cover about antitrans whatever? ive never known a trans guy who did the yeet but ive known a cisish gal who did and it was because for her periods werent a marker of health and sucked haywire-bad but also its worth noting that she was raised catholic which is not my own culture so i cant really speak to that....she says in catholicism periods are a punishment from god for what eve did or smthn 🙄 sounds like more incentivization for pregnancy, to escape gods monthly wrath reminder or whatever)

So like basically she'd rather beef some random person for a mystified bodily function, than the dudes reportedly insisting that her partner not stop participating, bummer....its just 8 years, he's dead

Why is it my place to see a news item if its not my place to comment? Like why was this public information, why do i know someone there was reportedly having their period, thats pretty fine grain stuff isnt it?

Im familiar with the norm that people are expected to not comment regardless, but, i dont share it, and here i am on my own blog and not the comment section of any piece about it or the inboxes of anyone involved

Some advice from season 18 episode 4 of americas next top model: if youre trying to relate to people you cant talk down to them; people have very contrasting ideas of what condescension is like/looks like/feels like....kid gloves vs courtliness

It would simply be more polite to not comment, i suppose? But these ARE my thoughts, and i find it condescending when people politely refuse to comment

[wellnesscard]

omg my teenager coworker was talking about how theyre gonna make a five night at freddys movie im like ya it already came out i saw it - with nic cage? not in my top 10 its no time bandits but whateva. guess nododis seen that one tho. also why do so many ppl with like d.i.d. Obsessed with that franchise ? or maybe thats just tumblr. even b4 tumblr tho there was this girlie at my highschool who was like mental like insane not in reality at all n it was all she fuckin talked about? what specifically is the pull like creating this demographic . but it weirds me out so i dont actually want 2 engage in real five nights at freds only thru the sweet filter of nic cage am i safe ig. cos that was a knockoff? who made that movie it was so weird and not even in an awesome way like many other b movies. idk the whole concept like. and yk fs theres towns like that in america. but theyre just racist. this post is getting away from me . idk the insaneos just dont talk abt jeff the killer anymore maybe im just old . do any pardonmyfrench normal ppl like five nitez at fred. i mean ig my coworkers pretty normal from what i know. ig im probably just in such different spheres from the enjoyers of that n the only ones being crazy abt it is the crazies so. i feel like this isnt very pc im sorry like my brain dont work good too like its no problem to be mentally ill and have interests im just . it throws me thry a loop. that n like taylor swift continuously getting bigger status thru out what feels like my lifespan. like i remember singing 'our song' in first grade w classmates n its like yeah its gud ig im 5 i dont have a critiquing of music mind yet too much. its catchy. never thought shed still be around let alone with a cult following in the year 2023. was it covid? like i havent heard about nikki minaj in ages but taylor swift is being exponential as hell in like . all this. why is she in so many commercials. ok my neighbors just got home one minute and thirty seconds ago and theyre already using power tools fuck yea girls build a house for her!! or that could be a blender tbh i thought i heard hammering though. hammering and sawing. shit did i just stereotype lesbians. i shouldnt be allowed to have tumblr app when im home alone cos then i just type type type whatever i want and we end up with this. oh sidenote too, i have a thickass nodule on my thyroid im having checked today so like ig ilyk laterz if its really fucked. like i hope i dont get all goited up thatd suck. its so funny bc in my eating disorder in highschool i was like oh what a dream itd be to have hyperthyroidism, sighs wistfully. omg what if gods punishing me and i get hypothyroidism and get f*t. but its probably just a lump and its not the consistency of cancer so we good basically. just waiting for the doc to say that too haha! and im like 3 days off all alcohol even the light beers bc i am getting sick of never having energy and like i wanna make sure my life is good and its hard to take care of everything because ngl im a heavy drinker n once i have any alcohol im just like impatiently waiting for my next drink, so. and its expensive when you drink a 12 pack a day plus other alkie snacks such as shooters pints or beers at the bar. and i need to save for a cruiseeee devon n i have been married for almost three years n still havent went on vacation yet goddamn! we deserve it , and i was the sexiest in my life when i was sober for a year too so jot that down.

[ziracona]

I can't believe Kenny never died and actually was taken into the realm by the entity then escaped. So wild of the team to do that crossover right haha. He's totally not dead though, totally.

I know, right??? I love that they really took a risk with that TWDG chapter, because it paid off SO WELL! Like, if you include the outfit skins instead of just the base survivors/full paragraph survivors, they added not one, not two, but TEN dlc survivors? I mean obvs they were right to make the default chapter two be Kenny and Lee, and I am in love with it, but I also really love that with so many dlc skins, I can fan interpret this to mean that hypothetically almost everyone I truly loved in the whole TWDG franchise got a second chance at life. It’s such a gift. :’-] Catch me on the 12 o’clock news snagging Florida Man a boat from the Entity’s ether so he and the world’s best dad can slit its belly open with the propeller and sail back home in time for their girl’s next birthday. 😭 You love you see it.

[koizumicchi]

Fantasia LOVE&KISS English Summary/Translation Part II

Confession Executive Committee Fantasia LOVE&KISS Light Novel English Summary/Translation Part II

Draft: HoneyWorks Author: Kousaka Mari

~

Introduction Part I

—–

T/N: Keep in mind that Japanese and English aren’t my first language. I never claim my translation (attempts) to be error-free. As always, if you’re going to use or reference my translations, please do not claim it as your own and credit me.

-----

ACT V

aizou decided to add an adlib on the dungeon scene with aoi (the sister of the princess). he asked aoi to do it along with him. aoi was reluctant at first because the director might get angry. after all, the adib was added without permission. but she agreed still since aizou’s adlib was interesting. the director was amused by it. he’s holding his laughter (aizou saw) but when he sees aizou looking at him, he shifted his expression lol. after that, the tense atmosphere in their rehearsals became lighter. at the corridor, aizou’s looking at the script when yuujirou walked out of the practice room. yuujirou: otsukaresama desu aizou: o-otsukare he was taken aback because greetings like that from yuujirou were rare.

~ aizou asked yuujirou to practice with him (for their lines) and says that even though they have the most scenes and lines together, they havent practiced with each other at all. yuujirou agrees but says, he wont add strange adlibs like aizou hahahaslfjslfjsl and he mentions about the rumors that aizou was wooing his co-stars (said by aoi when aizou asked help from her and rino; that was why aoi was so wary of him at first). yuujirou, jokingly: you shouldnt woo them. it’s impolite aizou: you’ve eavesdropped on me!! yuujirou: not my fault you were talking in the hallway ~ after the practice for the scene in the cathedral.. yuujirou asks the director what’s the difference between his acting before and today. the director gave his OK and is satisfied. before, yuujirou had to re-do that scene several times in the span of 2 hrs. so he was puzzled. director: dont you understand? (he’s not angry but calm) yuujirou: i dont know. i did not act different. i acted the same way i did.

director: you’d been standing on the stage on your own. today, your partner is there with you. director: you two. your performance today wasn't bad. *leaves* yuujirou: ....i don't understand aizou: that’s right. what you lacked was the feeling of respecting your partner more. yuujirou: *glares at him with eyes that were full of dissatisfaction* what kind of mood are you in, you’re just a daikon (an unskilled actor who overacts) aizou: don't call me a daikon!!! yuujirou: you said it yourself. that your acting is a daikon. aizou: at that time! i’m evolving and growing everyday! you’re mistaken if you think i’d stay as a daikon forever! yuujirou: and just where? didn't you fumbled on your lines three times today? you made a mistake and covered it with an adlib! aizou: i arranged it so! well....the lines i fumbled on today was because today’s lunch wasn't tuna mayo..? it was an umeboshi onigiri yuujirou: what, are you passing your own wrongs to the umeboshi onigiri? aizou: it’s your fault; you monopolized the tuna mayo onigiri! and that’s two...give one to me! yuujirou: don't wanna! we played rock paper scissors twice and you lost both times! aizou: even so! you should at least give one to your partner!! it’s not enough for you....ouch! dont step on me! yuujirou, face impudent: i will never hand over tuna mayo to aizou ever again! *turns away from aizou* aizou: what are you saying, you haven’t given me at least one!!!

aizou’s thoughts: you’re really not cute at all!!!!!!

~ after rehearsals, aizou has singing lessons for the musical. it’s because he still cant sing the song well (the song in the cathedral, where yuujirou will play the piano in accompaniment). he still hasnt improved. it’s not the same as singing when recording their songs. when he sings for the musical, his voice comes out shaky. yuujirou was picked up by uchida earlier, for a photoshoot. aizou walking home alone. it’s raining, but he has an umbrella. although the drops of rain damp his shoulders. he thought back on the time he couldnt sing. he could speak, but when he tries to sing, he loses his voice. he saw a doctor for an examination, thankfully, it wasnt anything abnormal; but the doctor said it was due to stress. after a while, he started to play his father’s guitar again. he was able to sing a little, but he didnt want anyone to listen to it. but he regrets that time now. if only he used that time more carefully, then he’s a different person now. maybe he could sing well and this musical would be a piece of cake. he wanted more time. but the people around him wont wait until he grows up. aizou: it cant be helped.... and then he meets IV. aizou: why are you here, IV-san? IV: i’m on my way from the agency. oh right, YUI’s worried about you. He was all ‘Aizou is terribly unwell that he refuses my invitations to eat ramen...’

aizou smiles awkwardly. it’s not like he isn't in the mood for ramen but he thinks he whined to YUI with something like, ‘I’m not good at singing’ but aizou thought he couldnt ask IV to mentor him, because he knows IV is busy. IV: do you have time now, aizou? aizou: eh? IV: because it seems that you need me right now *laughing as if he knows aizou’s at a loss on what to do* aizou, realizing he needed IV more than ever: yoroshiku onegaishimasu! IV bring him to a LIVE house. and when they came inside, aizou was in awe. it’s used by IV. well, only until someone buys it. aizou realized this is like a hideout for IV. aizou shows IV the music sheet for the song and tells him the details. IV lets him sing on stage here, to which aizou questions if he should sing without a mic. IV didnt give him one. IV tells him to go on. aizou’s reluctant. it’s a song he has trouble with singing....and it’s not easy to let his voice reach where IV is (in the audience seats) without a mic. but he tries anyway.

-----

ACT VI

LOVE&KISS AU scene in the throne room: after coming back from the mountain, aizou and yuujirou headed to the place where they would meet the sister of the princess. however, guards were waiting for them there and they were captured and brought before the princess. the sister of the princess stands beside the throne. this is where the princess calls the monsters attacking the town at night her ‘little children’, who are just taking an evening stroll and yet the humans hurt them. this angers aizou. the people of the town are suffering. his hand’s on his rapier but he couldn't draw it yet. the princess promises to spare aizou and yuujirou’s lives if they give her the sword they found in the mountain, but in exchange, they have to pledge allegiance to the princess for the rest of their lives. aizou refuses and tells her that just how far is she gonna look down on them. princess: huh, what are you unhappy about? aren't you traveling entertainers? then dance and sing for me. entertain me. it’ll keep me out of boredom. aizou flat out refuses again. the princess laughs and says she doesnt care anymore if they’re traveling entertainers or thieves; or what their identities are, really. they’re going to be her little birds anyway. she promises if they fight for her, she’s going to treat them well. she gives them choices: swear their loyalty to her, be prisoners, or become food for the monsters. princess: see, i’m generous! aizou chooses none. aizou: we ae the ones to decide what we will do. who will obey you!? the princess gets annoyed and calls them selfish for not choosing the options she generously gave. she signals the guards to seize them. “i dont want anyone who doesnt listen to me.” her little sister blocks it though. she begs the princess to stop, kneeling. she begs her to return back to her old self and cries. princess: i see. how disappointing. you, who i cherished- i have no use for you anymore. she signals the guards to get her sister too. but the guards hesitated. princess: what are you doing? hurry up and do it! aizou: that person is your sister!!! guards surrounded them. princess: so? will you beg for the sake of my sister? then, kneel to me, kiss my foot and swear your loyalty. and then i’ll forgive. aizou was about to strike her but it was yuujirou who stopped him with his arm. yuujirou: if you ask me to beg forgiveness, then i’ll do it as much as i can. aizou: OI !!! aizou’s yelling in anger but yuujirou silenced him up with a look. yuujioru says to the princess that they dont want to waste their lives. the princess comments they’re different from the other idiots she came across and pretty much know where they stand. yuujirou hands her the sword with the rose crest - owned by the late king. the princess orders the guards to put down their swords and they stepped aside. yuujirou: please forgive our rude and unreasonable behaviors. he takes her leg and slowly brings her foot closer to his mouth. the princess looks at him with eyes squinted, clearly amused. however, he stops just before his lips touched it and looks up at the princess. yuujirou tells her that they will not pledge their loyalty. and that when they are done with their business in this country, the princess should let them leave the castle. but before that, they will receive the reward for fulfilling the promise. he’s talking about the wish-granting jewel. the princess tells him that jewel doesnt exist anywhere in the world, or in this country. she doesnt know where it is either. the castle has been searched for it but there was none found. she wants to know too where it is. the legends say that once a dragon is defeated, its body shattered, it will leave behind a wish-granting jewel. the jewel from the time the late king defeated the dragon may have been lost but a dragon re-appeared in this country. yuujirou pulls out his dagger. “if we defeat the dragon, then we can obtain another jewel!” yuujirou swings the blade. however, it didnt reach the princess. the princess’ eyes turned crimson and a cold smile spread on her lips. a freezing wind blew. the same cry aizou and yuujirou heard in the mountain echoed through the castle halls. the dragon was there in the throne. her entire body is crystal clear but the area around the chest was glowing bright red. aizou: is this real???!!!! the dragon flaps his wings and the winds brought by it shatter the stained glass in the hall. sharp ice was pouring down. dodging, yuujirou rushed over to aizou and grabbed him by the arm. yuujirou: the bow??? aizou comes to his senses and hands yuujirou the bow he had entrusted to him. yuujirou sets aside the cloth wrapped around it. the ice that fell to the ground were now monsters. aizou: arent those- arent those the monsters that appeared at the town??? but wait-  why did the princess transform into a dragon? can a dragon be transformed into a human????

yuujirou gets ready to shoot arrows. his arrow pierces the eye of a monster who was about to attak the sister of the princess. aizou immediately stabs another monster using his rapier. they pulled the royal sister to safety behind a pillar. sister: get out of this place asap!!! dont think about me!!! there is no end to the monsters. once you defeat one, another will appear. the guards were already gone; they ran away. they were the only ones here. aizou and yuujirou: *back to back*

aizou: what are we going to do? you were so rude that the princess became very angry.

yuujirou: no. i didnt expect that she’d be so angry, she’d turn into a dragon.

yuujirou kills the monster that aizou kicked away, with an arrow.

aizou: liar! you knew! or rather, dragons dont do that normally! how would it turn back to being human???

yuujirou, after shooting another arrow: who knows. at times like this, dont they return back to their former selves with a passionate kiss. i don’t know though.

aizou, with an astonished face: you have a point.

aizou: this is your fault so you should try to do it.

yuujirou: no. impossible. she hates me. you should try it instead.

aizou: not me. i’m a little- i’m scared to.

there’s a blizzard now and when the dragon flaps his wings, there’s a crack in the castle walls. aizou and yuujirou turn pale and fell silent.

yuujirou: ….why don’t we try and ask her which kiss would she choose.

aizou: you try and muster up your courage then.

a part of the ceiling is blown away.

yuujirou, shaking his head: absolutely impossible.

before you can even kiss that dragon, you’ll be swallowed whole.

the sister explains again that it’s not the true princess. and then, a loud laughter echoes and the princess emerged from the dragon’s back. she commanded the dragon to crush the nasty thieves. aizou, staring blankly and then pointing at it in surprise: wait- didnt the princess turn into that dragon???!!!!

royal sister, glaring: i told you several times that that dragon is not my sister!!!!

aizou smiles wryly. anyway, if we don't do something about the dragon then the princess wont return back to normal. yuujirou,frowning: either way, the only way to get the jewel is to defeat the dragon. he looks at the dragon, and grins, trying to curb his resentment. yuujirou: then it’s decided. yuujirou checks his arrows. he shouldnt waste it. no matter how many monsters they defeat, it will only re-appear. he says to aizou that he’ll support him and then aizou can jump while the dragon is distracted. yuujirou’s arrows are not powerful enough to inflict fatal wounds. in order to kill the dragon in a single blow, he has to rely on aizou’s rapier. after staring at yuuirou’s face, aizou places a hand on his waist and sighs a little.

aizou: do you understand? i cant take that princess (the royal sister) with me. you’ll have to fight while covering for her. but it’s the only way.

he knows it’s reckless but if they fail, they won’t make it out alive. sister: i have no intention of being a hindrance to the two of you. you can think of me as not being here. i have no choice but to rely on you. the ceiling crumbles and the three of them runs. aizou, behind the pillar on the right. and yuujirou and the royal sister on the left, behind a pillar as well. yuujirou tells her to not move here and he leaves. he grabs his arrows and puts it on his bow. he closes his eyes, exhales deeply and concentrates. just as the dragon spreads its wings to fly up, yuujirou shoots arrows towards its wings. the dragon roars and flaps its wings. a gust of wind blew towards them and his hat flew away. but there’s no time to worry about that. the arrow hits the dragon’s eye. aizou jumps up but at that moment, the dragon swept its wings. aizou jumps backwards to avoid it and stumbles. the tip of his broken rapier goes flying while spinning, and then piercing the floor. there’s blood dripping from the cut in aizou’s forehead. he gasps for breath. with a broken sword, he fights the monsters that attack him. yuujirou was surrounded by monsters too and couldn't even rush to his aide.

yuujirou’s arms that drew the bow were weak. only five more arrows left. there’s his dagger but using only that as a weapon would be impossible. he grits his teeth and counteracts the thoughts in his head. the princess reads his mind and sneers. “it’d be better if you give up. no matter how many of you are, you cant match me. all is for naught.” aizou: whether it is useless or not, we wont know unless we try! yuujirou’s eyes widen at aizou’s strong tone. aizou points the broken sword to the dragon. a strong will is reflected in his eyes, conveying he has no intention of giving up. if they gave up here, then everything will definitely be for naught. they haven't gotten anything yet, or accomplished anything. it’s always been much easier to drop everything and run away. perhaps a wise and the right decision. however, why were they born in this world, for what purpose are they continuing to live for, the ‘answer’ to that will remain to be undiscovered. yuujirou grips his bow tightly and looks around the hall. he sees the sword of the late king between the rubble and ice, surrounded by monsters. the guard probably threw it away in haste as he ran. yuujirou tried to jump and get it, but a sharp pain coursed through his leg and he involuntarily fell to his knees. a monster was attacking him from behind but he thrusts his dagger into its eyes. yuujirou grabs his knee to suppress the trembling. as yuujirou clenches his teeth, the royal sister runs from behind the pillar. she’s aiming for the sword. she managed to get it, but the monsters were surrounding her. so she threw the sword to yuujirou, and falls to the floor with a scream.

as soon as he got the sword, yuujirou immediately lifted himself up and turned to aizou. he screams for aizou to take the it. aizou turns to him, yuujirou’s voice reaching him. yuujirou forces himself to stand on his wounded leg and threw the sword with everything he got. aizou pushes the monster away from him; he jumps out and reached for the sword and pulls it out of its scabbard. meanwhile, yuujirou grabs his remaining arrows and aims them to the dragon. the arrows pierce the wings but as he shoots more, the dragon roars and glared at him. aizou runs then, and without delay, he jumps. yuujirou picks up his last remaining arrow and draws his bow with all the strength he has. the arrow forces the dragon to lean back, and almost at the same time, aizou’s sword pierces deep into the center of its chest. the dragon’s body shatters and the princess on its back loses consciousness and falls. the royal sister jumps out to catch her in time. together, they laid on the floor. aizou, who landed, staggers and lets out a voice. “there we go.” the monsters in the hall disappeared. the frozen walls and floors thawed. blood dripped down yuujirou’s feet. yuujirou: .....! he can no longer stand and he immediately drops the bow and puts his hands and knees on the floor. he has no strength left. he takes a breath...and suddenly...he’s floating in the air. he opens his eyes in surprise and sees aizou. aizou, who’s holding yuujirou’s knees and shoulders with both arms. yuujirou grabs aizou by the shoulder. aizou: you seem much more benevolent/tender-hearted to me. he says while supporting yuujirou’s arm around his shoulder, and laughs. yuujirou in surprise, unintentionally looked at his face. his brows furrowed and he turns away from aizou. yuujirou: this is unnecessary help... it turned out to be a strong way of expression. however, without aizou’s help, nothing would have been possible. yuujirou’s eyes narrows slightly but a smile spreads across his lips. that’s the time. raise your gaze and notice what is in front of you. “....it’s not snow....” the shattered body of the dragon, it’s like a grain that emits a small brilliance. yuujirou and aizou watches in surprise as it all gathers and turns into crystals: a transparent yellow stone that seems to be collected sunlight, and a dark blue stone, like the deep sea. the two look at each and shouts, “the jewel!” yuujirou nearly falls as he steps forward. aizou grabs his arm and pulls him up. yuujirou reaches out a hand to the shining blue stone. aizou stares at the yellow stone that had fallen in his hand, his eyes shining in joy. the both of them had traveled far, placing their hope in this stone. when yuujirou opens his hand, a blue light emanates from it. making sure it is the jewel in his hand, yuujirou grips the stone firmly once again. yuujirou’s thoughts: i finally obtained it!! ~ the princess is back to normal. and she tells them what her father once told her: if a dragon were to bring disaster to this country again, a brave man will appear, defeat the dragon, and bring salvation to this country. princess: the two of you deserve to be called heroes who saved our country. words of gratitude alone are not enough to repay you. aizou: we’re not heroes or men of valor though... aizou puts his hands behind his head and looks at yuujirou, as if at a loss on what to do. yuujirou, hands on his hips and smiling: isnt it just fine to be traveling entertainers passing by? aizou: yes, that’s about right for us. ah, but- these stones, can we get this? it’s a promise in the first place. aizou shows the stone he’s holding. the intense glow has already softened. it’s a pale, warm sheen now. yuujirou’s stone is also enveloped in a blue transparent light. princess: of course. it’s something you both obtained. it’s meant for you two. i have heard that the stone, which contains the power of a dragon, grants the wish of those who possesses it and protects them. i am certain it will bring good fortune on your journey ahead. royal sister: when you visit this town again, please stop by the castle. me and my sister will welcome you! aizou: by saying that, you’re not going to throw us into the dungeons again, are you? royal sister: i really really really want to welcome you this time! the two sisters both swear to aizou and yuujirou that they’ll defintely show in their next visit what this town looked like during the reign of the late king, where everyone lived in peace and prosperity.

-----

ACT VII

every after rehearsals, aizou and IV meet in the LIVE house. aizou sings on the stage without a mic while IV listens at the very far end of the audience seats. this time, after their practice, IV gives him a C=cup of black coffee. IV has his own cup of the same coffee as well.

IV says to aizou to have more confidence; aizou should realize he has more potential than he thinks.

aizou: i dont know. YUI-san told me the same. i can do it, but there are also things that i can’t do. i dont have the intention for that...but do people see it that way

IV: doesnt that mean to the point of view of others, they think you are capable to do more?

aizou: i think you think too highly of me.

IV: is that so? *looks at aizou with a gentle smile*

aizou: i’m not capable of a lot of things...

‘unlike yuujirou’ - aizou swallows these words along with the bitter coffee he’s drinking.

IV, murmuring: this is certainly grave.

he lets out a troubled sigh.

IV: does it mean then, that we chose you in the audition because we think too highly of you?

aizou: .....!

IV then says that during that time, only one should have passed the audition. but FTIV remained firm. not just yuujirou, but aizou as well, should not be dropped, no matter what.

IV: are you saying that this too means we give you too much credit?

aizou: IV-san....

IV smiles at aizou and pats him in the shoulder.

IV: prove it to me. that we made the right judgment at that time.

------

rehearsal for the throne room scene where the princess ordered yuujirou to kneel and ask for forgiveness.

yuujirou’s acting draws aizou in and almost made him forget he’s on stage rather than in the ‘other world’. aizou sees that what’s transpiring here now is not the partner he knows, not yuujirou of “LIPxLIP”. aizou’s sure yuujirou’s hasnt been on-stage for a long time but he still dreams of being on one. the one who’s here right now is “someya yuujirou” who continued to practice and worked hard behind the scenes.

aizou realizes he has to stand on the same stage as this yuujirou and perform on the same level as him. realizing this, he felt how unreasonable he had been. more than anyone, he knows how much yuujirou treasures “LIPxLIP” and how big his dream is for their unit. yuujirou’s trying to protect them with all the power he has in him. yuujirou’s thoughts are the same as aizou.

aizou had chosen yuujirou to be his partner, for his own dream to come true and to continue standing on the stage they both aimed for. a place, a world, that a single person can’t reach - but together they are able to see it.

aizou thought that he and yuujirou meant to fight back-to-back...but...

aizou’s thoughts: ...when did we end up leaning on each other? even though we told each other to not drag us down....

there’s a fifteen minute break. yuujirou returns to his chair and wipes his sweat with a towel. aizou watches him from a distance.

aizou’s thoughts: then he will have to carry my part of the baggage as well... in order to be equal, to stand next to him, there are things i have to overcome.

yuujirou suddenly looks at him. when their eyes met, he had a slightly puzzled look on his face. aizou doesnt look away and clenches his fists.

aizou’s thoughts: i have to overcome yuujirou. why did i forget that- even though there had always been a wall in front of me.

aizou turns his face away and presses his lips together. he quickly leaves the rehearsal room.

because if he can’t overcome it, he will not be able to lighten yuujirou’s burden.

from now on, he can’t leave his baggage and let his partner walk with it. no matter what.

----

aizou sings again in the LIVE house while IV listens at the far end of the room. afterwards, IV gives him a rare applause.

IV: good. for now, this is the end of the lesson. the rest is up to you.

aizou bows and and thanks him. after he began taking lessons from IV, the sensei who’s been also giving him rehearsal lessons said that his voice had stabilized and his voice had grown extensive and he passes. with his, he should be able to make it into the actual performance. as IV said, the rest is up to aizou.

aizou: it’s all thanks to IV-san. i’ll send you tickets so please come see it with everyone (from FT4).

aizou mentions that he’s indebted to everyone in FT4 after all. and he also said to IV to tell YUI that next time, aizou’s going with him to eat ramen.

the butai’s coming close so IV asks him how are the rehearsals.

aizou: i wonder...but i think that all i can do after that is to do everything i can.

aizou knows there are many things he lacks. he’s worried about how the people who’s see the musical would feel about the performance. but he has to believe in the efforts he have given. even if he makes a mistake on stage, even if he’s laughed at, this is everything he has.

IV: that’s right...i’m happy you’ll let us see our butai. i’ll take them with me as well.

aizou: yes

IV: you mentioned before you’re not capable of many things, right? but you should appreciate what you have. you are capable more than you think and are loved by many people.

aizou makes an expression that doesn't understand what IV is saying.

IV: someday, you’ll realize that what you take for granted is a special gift given to you. so until then, don't forget what i said.

aizou’s thoughts: a gift given to me, huh.

~

on the last rehearsal, a day before the actual performance, rino mentions that everyone started to have fun in the rehearsals, even the director has a good time too, after the ‘adlib incident’. the director is still strict, but he laughs a lot in the scenes where aizou’s in. most of the ideas aizou presented to the director are adapted to the production.

rino: im sure yuujirou thinks so too. up until then, he appears to strain himself but after, it seems he relaxes.

aizou thinks that what she said must be true, as she’s the one practicing dialogues with yuujirou.

aizou: although i didn't understand at all....

but certainly, since then, yuujirou had not wrinkled his brows or had a stern expression. perhaps it’s also because he’s no longer clashing with the director.

rino: aizou is really amazing. he moves a lot of people.

aizou: what i did was a small thing though....

rino: but it’s something no one else could do.

she hands aizou a small bag. inside are lemon-colored candy in a transparent bag. it’s similar both in color and shape with the stone aizou of the musical obtains after the dragon was defeated.

rino: let me bestow our country’s specialty, the ‘mysterious stone candy’, to the gallant traveler.

rino jests before leaving aizou.

aizou’s thoughts: mysterious stone candy....

(it’s in his and aoi’s adlib before ww) he also broke down in laughter. ~ when manager uchida called aizou and yuuijrou over at the side of the stage, yuujirou sees the bag aizou was carrying. yuujirou: what have you got there?

aizou shows the candy wrapper he’s holding. aizou: mysterious stone candy. it was given to me by the princess. amazing, right? seems like it will be sold at the goods section tomorrow. it’s packed in a cardboard box. yuujirou: what’s this? isn’t it worthless? or rather, when did it become a part of the goods? when aizou was crestfallen, the mysterious stone candy disappeared from his hand. aizou: ah! when he raised his voice and looked at yuujirou next to him, yuujirou’s grinning. yuujirou: aizou doesn't like sweets so i’ll take it! aizou: geez. i cant let my guard down around you. he sighs. it’s his mistake for showing something sweet in front of yuujirou. uchida gave them the bow and rapier. both of them put on their hats. in 15 minutes, the final rehearsals will start. uchida, smiing: then i wish you the best, you two! aizou and yuujirou answers with a ‘yes!!’ after exchanging glances with each other, they did what they always do before LIVE performances (like in the kono sekai film i think!!) ----- scene: cathedral aizou’s voice became hoarse (but it’s written in the script). aizou told himself to calm down. he cant mess up or else the scene will be ruined. yuujirou plays the organ and the first sound echoes in the venue. hearing that sound, aizou feels like he was patted on the back with a ‘hang in there’. so he sings, and his voice spreads as if wrapping the venue itself. aizou, who was singing slowly, opens his eyes in confusion. the moonlight was shining from above (it’s artificial light). he didnt use the mic during the lessons with IV. even though the mic now is picking up his singing voice properly, he’s still surprised at how much his voice resonates. it’s completely different from the usual LIVE performances. the sound of the organ yuujirou’s playing and aizou’s voice envelopes the entire venue. aizou feels good. he didnt know if it’s the effect of the lessons with IV, or the sound effects here in the venue, or the tuna mayo onigiri he bought at a konbini (convenience store) earlier this morning...but it’s different than usual. his singing voice is stable, and he can sing just as he thinks how to. the high notes that were difficult to reach during the lessons come out beautifully now. then, at this time, aizou finally remembers the way he sang in the first singing competition he joined. it’s the same then and now. aizou thinks here that when he couldn't sing when he was little, he probably put everything (including the way he sang and the memories he didn't want to remember) inside the box in his heart. he was afraid to open it as there were a lot of things he didnt want to see. but he knew it wasnt all bad memories. he was very happy to win the competition. but still, he put threw it all in a box and kept it into the deepest recesses of his mind. he didnt intend after all to see it again, or remember it. because he felt back then, that even if he sang or won the championship, he had no use and no one needed him. but as IV said, it is a gift given to him - a special one. what he’s looking for, what he needs, it’s always been inside him all along. he didn't lost the key to the box he hid in his heart. all he needed was to have the courage to open it. yuujirou stops the accompaniment at the middle. that isn't in the script. aizou’s singing voice echoes. as soon as he’s finished singing, the tears that accumulated in his eyes spilled out. afterwards, he lifted his head. the guards are looking at him, their lines forgotten. aizou looks at yuujirou involuntarily, yuuirou’s looking at him, his eyes wide in surprise. and then, the audience gave aizou a big round of applause. the director, who’s watching in the middle of the first floor, is clapping his hands. the screenwriter, and the dance and singing sensei who gave him lessons, are also clapping, along with the other staff behind the second floor seats. yuujirou’s laughing and clapping his hands as well. the guards are also laughing and clapping their hands for him. although today isn’t the actual performance at all. aizou tightly closes his eyes and bows, as if holding back the welling up tears in his eyes. yuujirou: see, you could sing! the day when he was standing on the stage of the concour, he felt like he was laughing proudly. after the rehearsals, the co-actors and staffs came over to aizou and expressed their glee. the director even gave him a pat on the shoulder. so it mean aizou got a passing grade. aizou thinks he made it just in time; he should be able to take the challenge tomorrow. and strangely enough, he doesn't feel anxious. he asks if this is what one calls ‘confidence’? because now, he feels like he can sing any song, and any number of songs. he felt like he wasn't singing enough today. and realizes he’s being too carried away lol. anyways, he’s in a state where he can keep continuing until the final day of the performance.

~ the staff finished changing the props to the snow mountain. yuujirou climbs the stairs of the mountain. staffs hurriedly left the stage. aizou tried to tie his rapier to his waist but he hears a click sound. he turns around- and sees the bow yuujirou was holding falling down the stairs. aizou’s eyes widen when he sees yuujirou’s body falling backwards. aizou throws his rapier and jumps to catch yuujirou. aizou misses the steep stairs and catches yuujirou with both arms, but aizou himself stumbles and falls on his butt. a frightened staff rushes over. manager uchida shouts, “yuujirou, aizou, are you alright?” yuujirou: i’m fine.... he got up, but his complexion was pale. it seems he couldn't stand on his own, so aizou lent his shoulder to him and they stood up together. yuujirou was taken to the hospital and returned to the agency at around 6 PM. aizou asks manager uchida where yuujirou is. yuujirou’s resting in the room and when aizou went to see how he was doing, yuujirou’s stuffing his cheeks with tuna mayo onigiri. he seems to be in good health. aizou lets out a big sigh. according to uchida, yuujirou was only dizzy due to hunger and lack of sleep. aizou was glad his body moved immediately to catch yuujirou. aizou: did you not eat? aizou sat down on the chair opposite of yuujirou. yuujirou nods as he eats the onigiri. yuujioru: i was so busy, i forgot.... the reason why yuujirou sounds like he was depressed was because he was reflecting on the fact that it became a big fuss. aizou: hey, you....dont forget it. it’s important to take care of yourself. you know that. yuujirou’s sleeping during lunch break and hadn't touched his bento. aizou’s thoughts: he probably wasn't able to sleep much at home... aizou, muttering: well, it’s my fault as your partner that i didn't look out for you. yuujirou glared at him. yuujirou: ha? aizou leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hand. he turns his face to the side. aizou: i’m relieved that you’re the same as usual. but...will you be okay tomorrow? yuujirou: of course. i was just hungry. and also sleepy.... aizou: geez..are you even eating properly at home? yuujirou: i haven't eaten. aizou: why? don't you eat sukiyaki everyday? yuujirou: whose family eats sukiyaki everyday??? when yuujirou’s about to reach for the second serving of the onigiri, the door slams open. both of them were startled. it’s the president lol. she calls them with a loud voice. she comes over to them and grasps yuujirou’s and aizou’s hands tightly and says she cannot overlook this matter. she tells them that she’ll take them to a yakinuku restaurant. uchida rushes to search for a good place. president: get ready as we’re leaving immediately. the meat is waiting. and then she leaves. screams of joy from the staff outside the room can be heard in the hallway. everyone’s going to eat yakiniku tonight lol. “the yakiniku is special.... “i heard...” aizou and yuujirou look at each other and stand up from their chairs. “yattaaaaaaa!!!!” they high-fived with big smiles on their faces. ~ the first day of the performance is a success. it’s even trending on sns. aizou goes to see the stage one more time before he heads home for the day. there’s still a few staff working but the lights on the audience’s seats were turned off; only the lights on stage were on. aizou sees the folding fan usually held by the director and smiles. he remembers their struggles he and yuujirou had to endure. but even so, the made it to this day. aizou sits by the stage and looks at the unoccupied audience seats. to him, it feels like he’s in a dream, like he’s really there in the another world. “the musical’s fun, isn’t it?” aizou says to yuujirou standing next to him. aizou’s facing the audience seats. aizou cant wait for tomorrow’s performance and heknows he wont be able to sleep tonight because of the excitement. he didnt feel the pressure and the anxiety he had before. aizou: everyone’s laughing quite a bit. there were people who cried too after it was over. yuujirou: aizou’s adlibs were also a hit. aizou, confidently: right? i’m an idol and entertainer, after all. yuujirou looks at him with eyes wide open. and then, yuujirou: what do you mean, who told you that? *laughs* aizou replies that it’s morita-san, the old man from the shop they frequent. morita, who came to see the butai, gave him a message saying ‘i was moved!’. FTIV will come in senshuuraku (performance on the last day). they sent congratulatory flowers though. and a large flower stand is displayed outside - from “flower shop hanayama” aizou: did your father and mother come? yuujirou: no. there’s a performance in kyoto so they went there. my little brother is there too. aizou: ah, i see. aizou’s thoughts: so you didn't even eat. i’m sure there’s a maid but if he comes home late from practice, he might be tired and not have an appetite. aizou: you said they’d be back by senshuuraku. so aren't they coming to see it then? yuujirou: it would be nice if my father comes too. aizou’s thoughts: yuujirou still wants to be recognized by his father. aizou: do you want your father to come and see you? aizou looks at yuujirou. aizou: am i wrong? yuujirou: who knows. i don't think it’s a good idea. yuujirou’s looking at the audience seats but lowers his gaze. aizou: it’s not good. you can pull your mother and bring her here. this is the premiere of your first stage play. it’s not kabuki but if they see the you right now, i’m sure they’ll reconsider.. because even the director, who was like a demon, was convinced. yuujirou, murmuring: it’s not that i want to go back there now...even if i go back, there wont be anything i can do.... aizou: i know. yuujirou: father is father and i cant do anything about it. i think he had no choice but to tell me to make me give up. aizou: did he not let you stand on the stage of kabuki at least once? yuujirou: there’s no way i can stand. my brother has been performing on stage since then. aizou’s thoughts: that too...is pretty terrible. if you don't want yuujirou to stand on stage why did you make him practice? it’s cruel to put expectations on children and just take them away. although these are thoughts of aizou, he also thought that since it’s the someya house, there must be complicated circumstances. so aizou listened silently. yuujirou: but...i was taken to a shrine and dedicated a dance there. i think it was for some kind of festival. my younger brother was supposed to perform, actually. but he let me do it. yuujirou: at that time, it was a cool shirabyoshi dance. my father taught me how to dance. i went up to the shrine’s hall, danced to the flute, and everyone who was watching me gave me a round of applause...but i was terribly sad. because i thought that was the end of it. he spoke indifferently, but a slightly bitter smile was on his face. yuujirou: but i also know that i was the best that my father could have done for me at that time. aizou only listens silently and slightly opens the folding fan that the director had forgotten. these were the circumstances but even so, it can be said that yuujirou’s victory now is because he never gave up and kept going. aizou, thinking: really, he’s stubborn.... aizou closes the folding fan and looks up at his partner. aizou: hey, that dance...you still remember it, right? yuujirou, turning his gaze to aizou: eh. yuujirou: maybe i already forgot. it’s been a long time...and i haven't done it since then. aizou: liar aizou smiles and throws the folding fan to yuujirou. catching it, yuujirou blinks in surprise. aizou: it’s a waste if you memorize it just once. that dance, try to dance it here. yuujirou, eyebrows raising in confusion: here? aizou: it’s fine, isnt it? i’m the only one here. aizou leaves the stage with a big smile. this is not the end. it will continue from here and onwards. our butai, and our stage. aizou: and you said you dont remember. yuujirou lets out a sigh as if to say he’s tired. he opens the folding fan once and then closes it with a snap. perhaps, it’s because he’s motivated, that when he raises his head, his expression has changed. aizou sits in the front row and watches yuujirou as he dances slowly with the fan in his hand. yuujirou said he doesn't remember, but there’s no hesitation in the movement of his feet or hands. see, yuujirou remembers it. there’s no way that he’ll forget the dance he learned once.

yuujirou squats with an open fan in his hand. when he stood up, he was turning around in a fluid motion. aizou’s sure that when yuujirou danced at the shrine, yuujirou danced with everything he got to the sound of the flute. aizou’s thoughts: y’know....you’re amazing.

with those words in his heart, aizou smiles slightly. “don't push!!” there’s a voice and then there’s a sound of something collapsing. when aizou and yuujirou looked in surprise, there’s the director, crushed by several staff members. apparently, they secretly watched yuujirou’s dance. uchida is probably there as well. yuujirou: what are you doing....? he asks in a cold voice and everyone stood up in panic. uchida, glasses slanted: i’m just here to pick up those two! director, arms crossed: i forgot my fan. i just came to retrieve it. he spoke pompously but he was averting his gaze. aizou, thinking: really, what are these people doing.... aizou stands up and walks up to the stage. when he and yuujirou went to where the sense’s were, female staff, her eyes twinkling: the dance just now is really beautiful! the other staff are also smiling and said, “i was able to see something good!!” yuujirou: thank you.... he replies curtly. aizou thinks yuujirou’s hiding his embarrassment. yuujirou closes the fan and gives it to the director. he apologizes for borrowing and using it for a bit. the director then declares powerfully: i think i’ll go with “Yoshitsune to Shizuka Gozen” for the next stage play. the staffs agree with a roar. and he declares that the main characters will be aizou and yuujirou LMAO. aizou and yuujirou: eh? *looks at each other* yuujirou: i’m okay with it. who’s going to play shizuka gozen (the female MC)? aizou: eh, you of course

director: the dance just now is like shizuka gozen’s.... aizou: see, sensei’s saying it too. aizou points his index finger at the director. yuujirou’s brows wrinkled. yuujirou: ha? i wont hand over the role of yoshitsune. aizou you do the role of shizuka gozen. i think you’d suit it very well. aizou: no matter who sees it, the role wont look good on me. for this play, i really trained my abs! yuujirou: your abs don't matter. no one will see them anyway! aizou: it should be the right person on the right role! yuujirou: well...aizou might look better as benkei (the warrior) rather than shizuka gozen. yuujirou puts his hand to his mouth and chuckles. aizou: benkei, huh....well, if it’s that role, i can still make do with it. aizou feels like if it’s the benkei role, then it’s better than shizuka gozen. for his abs wont go to waste. (aizouuuu stop with the abs ww) director, all serious: yoshitsune and benkei...that’s fine as well! it’s decided! the next play will be ‘Yoshitsune and Benkei’ 

he raises his fist and proclaims. and announces the roles will be for yuujirou and aizou. and again, he pats yuujirou and aizou on the shoulders. the staffs around them applauded in agreement. uchida: if it’s a job offer, you should go through me, the manager, first! director, fidgeting: we’ll talk about that properly later. aizou’s thoughts: uchida-san, so strong....or should i say, reliable...? aizou smiles wryly. their next stage- even though the first day of their first play has ended, aizou already wants to run towards their next one. he wants to open more possibilities for himself and yuujirou. aizou’s thoughts: i want to try and challenge different things. do not let the dream you once had end as a dream. turn it into reality. the power to do so is already within you. that is why, do not be afraid and continue on. be it in a storm or a steep mountain. for if you do not stop walking, you will eventually reach the world of "hope" you dream of. until then. aizou, who’s looking at the audience seats, turns to his partner standing next to him. yuujirou looked at him almost at the same time. their eyes met. aizou’s thoughts: we are thinking the same thing, aren’t we. and feeling like that, together, aizou and yuujirou burst out laughing.

-----

EPILOGUE

morning of senshuuraku. aizou sees his brother in the kitchen. ken is wearing aizou’s favorite jacket, jacket aizou bought on a whim. ken places a mug in front of aizou. ken picks up kuro and puts him on his shoulder. aizou asks him if ken is coming to his butai. he left 2 tickets on the table the other day. he noticed they were gone when he woke up in the morning. ken confirms to aizou whether today’s the last day of his butai. he also mentions arisa wanted to go and teasingly says to aizou that they may go see it. aizou stares at the cup..and after a few moments, he says to ken that he’s thinking of leaving the house and live alone someday. even though they’re in the same house, it feels like they’re living separately anyway. he’d consulted uchida already and asked her to look for affordable properties. aizou doesn't see his brother that often, and he rarely speak to him too. so he concludes this is the best time to tell ken. ken replies with his usual light tone, “isn't that alright.” aizou admits that he hasn't decided when it will be yet, but he asks ken if he could take kuro with him. ken: ah. i’m ok with it.... *pets kuro* ah, on second thought, i won’t allow it. aizou’s surprised. he thought ken wouldn't refuse lol. aizou: eh, why? i’m the one taking care of him the most anyway.... ken: if you bring kuro with you, then he wont come back here in the house.

(i think he’s also saying aizou won’t come back as well?)

aizou narrows his eyes. ken takes kuro off his shoulder and handed the cat to aizou. ken: but if kuro’s here...

i think ken is referring to aizou but he phrases it like it’s also kuro who’ll worry and come back here in the house. aizou hugs kuro but the cat tries to wriggle away from his arms as if kuro prefers ken. aizou didnt know how to answer ken. he looks at his brother, confused. ken tells aizou he’s gonna meet arisa now for a date and leaves. but before leaving he says to aizou that he’s gonna borrow his clothes. aizou, hugging kuro tightly: but you’re already wearing it.... aizou admits that even if he takes kuro with him, he’s sure the cat will come back to this house. the place to return, the reason to come back, are left in this house.

for the sake of this “me”. “you” have always tried to stay with the family. aizou puts on his sneakers, and the sports bag on his shoulder. he turns off the light inside the house. aizou, louder than usual: i’m off! he opens the front door, closes and locks it. he puts the key into his pocket and stepped out. outside, the skies are blue and the sun’s shining brightly. aizou: come on then, let’s go- ~ when yuujirou leaves the front door of their house, his mother came out to see him off. tae-san: i’ll definitely come and see your stage, together with your father. yuujirou: okay. tae: say hello to aizou-kun for me yuujirou: yeah....ok.... tae, noticing his vague reply and scolding him: you have to get along. yuujirou: i know. then, i’ll go now. when he’s about to leave, his mother stops him. tae: ah, wait. she takes out a hiuchi stone and strikes it. yuujirou’s slightly surprised and looks at his mother. tae: because i’ve also done this when your father and koichirou perform too. it is a gift bearing the wish that the butai performance will end safely. tae, seemingly about to cry, smiles happily at his son. to yuujirou, who until now, couldn’t stand on the stage. yuujirou: thank you, mother. tae: take care. i wish you the best. yuujirou: yes...i’ll be going now. yuujirou slings the bag over his shoulder and walks, looking straight ahead. yuujirou’s thoughts: now then, let’s go- aizou and yuujirou’s thoughts: towards the world that awaits us. ~ LOVE&KISS AU It is still a bit dark but the skies are beginning to turn white. Statues of the two heroes stood at the plaza. aizou, with a dissatisfied look: the princess said she would give us the horses but why did you refuse it? it’s easier with horses. he had his arms crossed. yuujirou: wouldn't it be better if you just took your horse? i don't need mine. aizou: if we travel together, it can’t be helped but to ride a horse. yuujirou: i did not say i’d travel together with anyone. why are you deciding on your own? they were allowed to stay in the castle for about 2 weeks, but since the wound on yuujirou’s leg was about to heal now, yuujirou decided it’s time to leave. he told this to the princess and the royal sister. but not to aizou. nevertheless, when he packed up and left this morning, aizou’s waiting for him, already wearing his travel clothes. apparently, after hearing from the princess and the royal sister that yuujirou will be leaving, aizou decided to leave too. aizou could’ve traveled anytime because he wasn't injured. but even so, it seems he spend his time leisurely in the castle because he was waiting for yuujirou to recover. perhaps, it’s because he’s worried about yuujirou’s wounds. how meddlesome, this guy. no one asked him to. yuujirou wants to quicken his pace but he couldn't do so, because the pain from the wound is still there. he glares sideways at aizou as if saying, ‘dont follow me’. aizou, with his arms folded behind his head, turns his head to the side as if he didn't want to listen to what other have to say. yuujirou’s brows furrowed even further. he’s even more irritated now. aizou: come to think of it.....did you remember? he’s referring to the forgotten memories of the past. they were looking for the wish-granting jewel to regain their memories. yuujirou: ....no....how about you? they walk toward the town’s gates. aizou: as i thought, there’s no way it’d be that easy for our wish to come true. he takes his own stone from his pocket and rolls it lightly in his hands, smiling. during their stay in the castle, yuujirou tried to make a wish several times, but the stone did not show any reaction except giving off a faint glow. he asked the princess for access to the castle library, but no matter what method yuujirou tried, the results were the same. he did not regain his lost memories. yuujirou takes out the stone from his pocket. is there a special method to make his wish come true or is it really just a stone. he isnt that disappointed though, strangely enough. aizou: wont it make some money if we sell it? it’s an unusual and rare stone anyway. are you going to sell it? we’ve encountered hardships to obtain it. yuujirou: there’s no point in having it if it’s just a stone. well, it might turn out to be an amulet or a charm. their wish might come true someday if they have the stone. in the tales, it wasn't written that a wish would come true instantly. aizou: well for now, let’s look for other ways. i might be able to remember it anytime soon. like when i accidentally fall down. yuujirou looks astonished at aizou who’s smiling. yuujirou: if that’s how to remember it, i think we’ve already remembered a long time ago. aizou: you won’t know, right. a fortune teller once told me that a shock can restore one’s memory. yuujirou: if you think so, then try hitting your head against that tree. on your own. aizou: i’ve already tried that, but it didn’t work. (LJALFSJSLFJA AIZOUUUUU) yuujirou’s thoughts: what foolishness this guy has.... yuujirou: *sighs* he then looks at aizou. yuujirou: then why are you following me. go your own way. aizou: we have the same goal. wouldn’t it make more sense to go together? aizou throws the stone lightly and catches it on his hand repeatedly. aizou: even i am reluctant (to be alone) yuujirou: where’s the logic in that? aizou: because i was with you, i was able to survive the snowy mountains, i was able to defeat the dragon, and i obtained the stone. i don’t know what the stone’s useful for but it’s a mysterious one. yuujirou: omae to issho ni iru to, roku na koto ga nai (nothing good happens when i am with you; his signature line lmao) aizou: that again. he frowns as if tired to hear it. aizou: i will not accept complaints and displeasure anymore! yuujirou: i won’t listen to your nagging! yuujirou covers his ears with his hands. the entrance gates of the town can already be seen. the daughter of the innkeeper where the two had stayed before, waves her hand and calls them, “heroes of journey!”. aizou and yuujirou look back. girl: thank you for saving the princess!! i wish you well in your journey to come!! she threw red apples at them. they caught those and looked at each other. they forgot their argument a while ago and smile at each other. yuujirou POV:

i still have not found the “answer” i was looking for. but perhaps, if it’s with someone who travels the same path as me, someday i will be able to. yes, someday. perhaps we’ll find it. the two wave their arms and head forward, walking straight to the other side of the gates enveloped in the rays of the morning sun. ~ when one story ends, a new one begins. the regrets of the past, the fate that ties oneself. leave behind all the doubts, anxieties, and fears about the future. what someone once dreamed of is waiting beyond the door, towards a world that shines so brilliantly. along with daybreak, let us go and move onward. as long as we continue believing, proceed ahead.

for “hope” will continue to exist.

~

END

[goatpaste]

Idk why but i feel like the PillarMen would be able to see stands for some reason. Like they themselves are alien-like beings with supernatural powers so i feel like theyd be able to see stands too for some reason

i get that but i think as far as my pillar fam au goes, they wouldn't. just flat to the logic of the jojo universe on that one ig?

but i think between it would give them a fun dynamic edge while living past p2, i remember talking about it be very funny the idea that only wham understands stands fULLY. like they tried to explain it to kars and esidisi and their like ?? so humans just have pillar man powers now?? or?? and just chalking it up to being some hamon thing lol

ALSO i think the visual of wham being Holly's care taker who stays by her side during p3 is good ESPECIALLY if Dio wanted to be a lil more of a petty bitch and send stand users after Holly to finish her off while everyones away, maybe him and these stand users dont QUITE get or know theres pillar man guarding the area. So wham ending up in fights with stand users. the visuals on wham fighting something he cannot see but between general pillar man heighten sense, whams warrior training and his wind ability giving him some idea of sensing stands

just a stand user showing up like "aha! wham on the pillar man! i have been sent to kill the dear holly kujo and have heard you have become her gaurdian and to trend carefully around you! but you are no match for me as i am a stand user, posessing a power that you cannot see or t-"

and wham getting up and "im gonna eat you"

"...what?" says a now horrified stand user moments before this pillar man makes then no longer exist.

one stand user shows up later more aware and specifically picked out to deal with wham and wham having to actually put up a fight while keeping holly and her home safe...

Holly worrying later after having a small moment of being up and awake during being sick, talking about how she doesnt want everyone running around the world getting themselves killed for her. especially her father wham who doesnt even have a stand, so this shouldnt even concern him if he can't even see it. but wham knowing full well that even if he could never see his daughter in full the way she was with her stand and all, or any of his family's "stands" or whatever they were going on about he couldnt care less because he will love them and fight for them no matter what it was that hurt them.

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:

(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)

Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.

It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.

However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.

It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.

Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare

And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind

with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them

He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.

Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.

Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.

But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)

and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.

Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.

She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find

And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”

So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with

But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice

Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.

They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream

At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”

But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)

Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.

and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”

And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”

So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”

(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)

So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”

But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.

(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)

so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting

And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.

But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.

And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving

(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)

And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it

And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently

And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice

They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song

And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,

and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross

And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other

(And then they kiss)

[gumdecay]

.