#sylvia field

[mericanasshole83]

Sylvia

[derangedrhythms]

I suppose it’s pointless to think of you at all.

Sylvia Plath, Collected Poems; from ‘Parliament Hill Fields’

[dreamie-dolli]

𝜗୧ hanna marin 𝜗୧

[ayoyoungg]

Because I got sucked into the drama on Twitter, I watched Popstar Academy (would not have otherwise):

First, I hate survival shows. I’m just like keep that stuff within the company and start showing us material once you’ve chosen the people for the group. I know every company goes through that process of selecting people for the debut group but I’m not a fan of seeing it.

Reason I say this is because I understand & get people having star power or certain people always being in the lineup because they fit what the company is looking for. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. In fact I think that’s the industry. But the way this show was formatted and presented to the girls, they went in thinking something else. Which I’m not sure what they were pitched vs if it was naïveté. (Also, it seems like only a small percentage of the girls were actually familiar with or fans of kpop, just an observation).

Having like 8 or so trainees join LATE, and picking trainees that didn’t even have singing or dancing background was certainly a choice. Like the show made the initial training group feel like a pre-training to get the girls where they need to be for the actual training/show. It’s a typical Netflix thing but I feel like some of the later trainees could’ve really benefitted from being there from the start. Especially since the show had some of the girls really starting from ground 1.

It turning into a survival show halfway through was VERY messed up, especially considering how many girls kept asking before they agreed to the program if it would be a survival show. That contract must have either been very vague with the wording or small font or something.

As the program was happening live, I think I only saw the Buttons performance. I wasn’t paying much attention to the program because I wasn’t interested. That said, the survival show didn’t even make sense if it was solely based on the performances & whatever content the girls chose to post on social media. I understand wanting to gauge fan interest in the girls but like idk have test groups? They should know any time there’s fan voting it’s biased as hell. There should always be a percentage taken into account with fan voting vs judge voting. But anyways, what makes this survival show weird is that part of what affects choosing favorites in other survival shows (like p101) is that you get to see the trainees interact with each other. Even though mnet evil edits, you see through the show who has leadership skills, who’s caring, who’s hardworking, who gets along, who’s improved, etc. All of that was missing when the program was live?! (unless I’m wrong) We’re only learning this stuff through the documentary. I’m only using this as an example but the girls were so shocked Manon scored high, but viewers didn’t know about the missed practices & stuff. Had viewers known, would Manon have scored so high? Who knows (she def has it girl + charisma, so very likely, but you see my point)

On Manon, as I alluded to before, I think it def would’ve been better if she were in that starting trainee group. While some things were missed due to covid which is excusable, it seems that other classes/training were missed just because. It has me curious if something serious irl was going on or what the cause was, but I suppose that’s her business. Classes/training are important. Personally, it would affect my choice of a bias if I knew that they skipped a lot and broke rules such as missing curfew a lot. That said, I do appreciate that she does show up & out when the time calls for it. I’m not sure if the girls really did isolate her or if anyone at least made an attempt to check on her. I understand the frustration of someone who consistently breaks the rules not getting penalized in some way. I’m glad Manon held herself accountable and really showed up at the end.

This program being in partnership with Hybe is so…🙃 to me. For example, Bang PD discussing the plateau in trainee growth and urging them to debut faster. Meanwhile Hybe groups are on blast about their short trainee times and the need to develop skills further. We start seeing more & more injuries in the girls and it’s like maybe if they took the time to further their training and learn how to properly do things, the amount of injuries could lessen. And then the emphasis on social media, developing a fandom, and discussing the parasocial relationship — felt very Hybe. Like yes social media skills are needed but the way they discussed creating the fandom was kinda 🙃 to me. Like the fandom is going to form. Those who were less comfortable/confident/familiar with posting on social media were at a disadvantage. And with them suddenly being thrown into a survival show, it’s not like they were prepared to appeal themselves to the public yet. I don’t think it should have been so important for them to necessarily be good at social media yet. That’s something I think could have been saved for the debut group (or maybe if they KNEW from the beginning it’d be a survival show with that type of format, more of the trainees would be those good at social media). But with how this survival show was formatted, social media was the only way to learn anything about their character.

[juneblogs]

i’m blocking anyone who speaks ill of sandy nolastname from every iteration of the outsiders

it honestly upsets me teen girls convinced themselves that a pregnant girl in the sixties is “masking” her evil and is truly heartless and a schemer

[subliminalbo]

This story is a companion to Assimilation #4: Night Sounds

Days later, Nina still couldn’t believe what she’d seen at her sister’s apartment. She played the moment over and over in her head until she convinced herself that none of it could be real. Soon, the strangest details of that night retreated like so many forgotten nightmares. But even as the images faded, the feelings lingered. The initial shock when she opened the door to find the nude bodies of her sister and her roommates bathed in the moonlight, the sudden arousal when Gabrielle and Allison turned their attentions to her, and the unimaginable dread that that feeling filled her with. 

At night, Nina had to bite down on her shirt to stifle her moans. She whimpered as her fingers glided over her throbbing clit, mere feet away from her sleeping roommate Chloe. 

Nina had masturbated before, but never this frequently, never so obsessively. She loathed herself for it. Chloe smuggled a new boy into their dorm every other night. "Call me reductive," Chloe had once said to Nina with a shrug. "But sometimes a woman's just a set of holes that need to be filled."

God, Nina needed help before she ended up just like her.

"I think you're holding something back, Nina," Dr. Fielding said with a sharp click of her pen.

She was more intimidating than Nina had expected. A head taller, with these intense, dark eyes that burrowed through her as she spoke.

Nina hugged herself as she spoke. "I told you everything I saw. I walked in and they were just there, all three of them..."

"Why do you think it had such a profound effect on you?"

"It didn't," Nina squeezed herself tighter. "I mean, I just never thought my sister would ever take part in something like that. It just surprised me."

"Seeing your sister in the act of sex with her friends shook you to your core," Dr. Fielding observed. "Obviously you have a great deal of respect for her, but I think there's something deeper here that we're not accessing."

"I can't think of anything," Nina insisted.

"Maybe we should try a different approach." Dr. Fielding said. "Hypnosis can be effective in retrieving buried or damaged memories."

Nina was skeptical, but she deferred to Dr. Fielding's experience.

"I'm going to breathe deeply in, and then deeply out. I want you to match my pattern."

"Okay," Nina replied slowly. "I'm not very good at stuff like this."

"Don't overthink it," Dr. Fielding assured her. "Just follow my lead. I'm breathing in...and I'm breathing out...you can close your eyes if it makes it easier."

Nina followed Dr. Fielding's instruction. Her shoulders relaxed, her eyes flitted shut. She hated when people told her to "relax," as if relaxation was a state she could simply access. If it were that easy, why would she ever need therapy?

But it was easier once Nina closed her eyes. She simply focused on the rhythmic sound of Dr. Fielding’s breathing. She counted the time between inhale and exhale, eight seconds, and soon she was matching the pattern beat for beat. The world began to slow.

"You’re going to repeat what I say, Nina," Dr. Fielding continued.

"Yes, Dr. Fielding," Nina replied.

"Visualize a space in your mind. A space deep, deep down in the depths of your subconscious, as deep as you can go."

"As deep as I can go," Nina repeated quietly.

"No thoughts can penetrate this space. You are alone here with my voice."

"No thoughts...alone..."

"Now I want you to go even deeper. Find a place where the concept of free will ceases to exist."

"Deeper..."

"Find that place...and drop."

With a click of Dr. Fielding's pen, Nina's head dropped as if an invisible cord that held her together had been severed.

"Can you still hear me, Nina?" Dr. Fielding asked.

"Yes..." Nina's speech was noticeably slower, her gaze obscured by the hair dangling over her eyes.

"Your conscious mind is a liability, Nina. Its motivation is to make order out of chaos. It buries what it cannot comprehend. As long as you let your conscious mind rule you, you'll never truly know your own self. I'm going to help you access your true memories, Nina, but for this exercise I need you to leave your conscious mind down there in that deep, inaccessible place.

"When I click my pen, you'll come back to me completely blank. No thoughts, no will. In this state, you'll be totally obedient to me, do you understand?"

"Totally obedient..." Nina moaned.

Click.

Nina's head snapped back up. She looked at Dr. Fielding with a pair of distant, glassy eyes. A drop of drool fell from her chin to her shirt.

"Remember, Nina," Dr. Fielding exhaled. "No thoughts, no will, no conscious mind. Only truth. So tell me how you feel."

“I feel so…” Nina’s eyes fluttered. Her hand traveled unconsciously up to squeeze her breast. “So…” she began to massage herself through her shirt. "So horny..." She sunk down in her seat, her legs spreading open, the fingers of her other hand tracing desperately along the fly of her jeans.

Dr. Fielding raised a curious eyebrow.

"Well don't let me stop you," she waved a casual hand. "Masturbate. Let all of that tension go."

"Thank you..." Nina moaned. Her lips parted her tongue as she unbuttoned her jeans. Her hand slid under the waistband, fingers dipping into her wet folds. She released a quiet whimper.

Dr. Fielding scribbled a note.

"How often do you feel horny?" she asked.

"All the time," Nina gasped. Each jolt of pleasure carried her even further from her conscious mind. "Since that night..."

Dr. Fielding leaned forward in her chair. “The night of the orgy,” she said. “Why does it scare you so much? Why are you afraid to explore your body, Nina?”

“Because…” Nina moaned. “This isn’t me. These aren’t my thoughts…aren’t my feelings…It’s…” A sharp cry escaped her lips as the first orgasm took her. “It’s the Voice! The Voice, it...it changed me...”

Dr. Fielding tapped her finger on the arm of her chair, she shifted her crossed legs, let loose a soft, imperceptible sigh. "Can you take me there, Nina? Can you show me what you really saw that night?"

awaken

The sound snaps Nina's eyes wide open. It's so loud that it drives her up from the couch. She knows that what she had heard was a scream, but...

"Stop," Dr. Fielding says.

Nina blinks. She's back in her sister's apartment, back in that night. It’s as if she’s waking from a long dream. She isn’t alone this time. She can hear Dr. Fielding’s voice somewhere on the surface of reality.

"Memory is imperfect," Dr. Fielding explains. "Yet it's the primary source with which we document our experiences. Each time we access a memory, we lose a part of it, change it in some way. Think about how you remember this night, then focus on the moment we're in now. Count the differences. Let's start there."

"There's nothing different," Nina insists. "It's the same dark living room, the same eerie silence, the same..." she pauses, noticing a cluster of voices outside the window. A distant thump, thump, thump of dance music.

"There was a party next door," Nina remembers. "It was so loud when I was falling asleep that I tossed and turned for an hour. But when I woke up, everything was silent. I mean...I remember silence."

"That's very good," Dr. Fielding says. "And now that we know that one part of your memory is wrong, we have to assume that any part of it can be. Do you agree?"

"Yes..."

"What else?"

"I don't...I..." Nina's eyes widen as the sounds of the night come back to her. "It wasn't a scream that woke me up. It was a voice."

"There was someone else in the room?" Dr. Fielding asks.

"No," Nina shakes her head. "Taryn had just come home, but she went straight upstairs. I was completely alone in the living room. I think...I think the voice was in my mind."

submit

Nina released a sharp cry as another orgasm washed over her body. Her eyes were closed. She was still in the darkness of that night, but conscious enough to respond to any of Dr. Fielding's questions. Her search for release grew desperate as she clawed at her clothes, tearing her shirt open until her breast was free.

Dr. Fielding watched with hungry eyes as Nina rolled her thumb and forefinger along the ridges of her hard nipple, moaning quietly between her thoughtful responses, “Can’t stop…have to cum…have to cum…can’t stop…can’t stop cumming…have to…have to cum…can’t stop cumming…���

Dr. Fielding’s legs uncrossed, spreading slightly open. She continued with her questioning.

"What did the voice say?"

come

Nina stands before the bedroom door at the end of the hallway.

"I was empty," she says. "I was powerless to disobey. It said 'come' and I followed it upstairs to this room."

"And this is when you cracked the door open to look inside?" Dr. Fielding asks.

"No," Nina shakes her head. "I mean that's how I remembered it, but..."

"Tell me exactly what happened, Nina."

"It's Taryn's room," Nina promptly replies. "I could hear noises behind the door. I remember the squeak of the bed frame. I remember the deep, desperate moans. But I didn't need to look inside to know what was on the other side of the door. The Master had already shown me."

"The Master?"

"The voice," Nina clarifies. "It commanded me to 'enter,' so I opened the door and I found what I already knew was there."

The door swings open revealing the scene on the other side. Three gorgeous, naked young women caught in the heat of mindless, animal sex. One woman is lying flat on the bed with another down low between her legs. The third stands at the side of the bed directing the action.

"The orgy," Dr. Fielding says.

"I noticed Taryn on the bed first," Nina continues. "Allison was the one between her legs. The way her tits swung made me so horny. I've never been attracted to a woman before but watching it, I wanted her. And then there was my sister, Gabrielle. She climbed on top of Taryn. She lowered herself over Taryn's face and began to ride her, and when Gabrielle climbed back off, I saw a black liquid bubbling up from Taryn's mouth."

"A black liquid? You're sure that's a real memory?"

Taryn is still on the bed convulsing in ecstasy as Gabrielle and Allison stand straight up.

"It was the Master," Nina says. "They were changing her. The transformation isn't complete until the Master fills the vessel's body."

Gabrielle and Allison stare forward toward the doorway. The black liquid rolls down Gabrielle's leg. They are watching Nina.

"That's when I heard their voices in my mind. They were pulling me into the room."

"Their voices?"

"Gabrielle and Allison's."

"You could hear their voices in your head now?"

"They are assimilated," Nina says. "They no longer need to speak."

"How did you escape?"

"I came to my senses when I saw Gabrielle's eyes. It was difficult to make out the details in them, the way they glowed in the darkness. But then I realized that there was no detail at all. Just blank, white, inhuman eyes. I knew that this thing wasn't my sister, I knew that if I followed her into that room that I wouldn't be myself when I left it either."

"So you ran?"

"Yes. I ran as fast as I could."

"But what happened to the voice?” Dr. Fielding asks. She’s standing in the hallway next to Nina now. “The one that pulled you upstairs?"

Nina turns her head away from the scene in Taryn's room to look straight at Dr. Fielding. Her eyes are the same empty, white eyes that she just described in her sister’s gaze.

"The Master is still with me,” she says. “Its voice is buried deep, deep down in my subconscious. As deep as it could go."

obey

Sylvia couldn’t hold back any longer.

In all of her studies she had never come across anything like this. Her expertise was in the human mind. She understood the mechanisms by which people could be manipulated by their own desires, how thoughts and memories and desires could be shaped, shifted, and changed. She knew how to make a person drop to their knees in absolute submission.

But she knew nothing about supernatural forces. She didn’t understand the feeling that moved through her when Nina suddenly opened her glassy eyes. She didn’t understand why she’d risen from her chair and torn open her blouse, promptly discarding her clothes as she joined Nina on the couch. Why she pressed her lips to Nina’s exposed breast, rolling her tongue along Nina’s nipple as she imagined the black liquid filling her mouth.

She didn’t understand why she fucked Nina, positioning herself on the couch so that her legs were locked with the young student’s, their slick pussies grinding together as she rolled her hips. She didn’t understand why Nina’s mantra came flooding from her own mouth between deep gasps and hungry moans. 

“Can’t stop…can’t stop…have to cum…have to…can’t stop cumming…have to cum…can’t stop cumming…”

"There is no escape once the Master’s voice touches you," Nina droned. "It breaks you, fills you, reshapes you. Everything you’ve ever known, everything you’ve ever dreamed fades away in total desire to obey the Master’s design. We are all vessels. We will all surrender."

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Sylvia had lost count of the number of times she’d cum. Her mind flickered in and out like an old television set. She’d been trained to resist brainwashing, but each time she came she cared a little bit less. It felt too good to submit. After dedicating her life to the Submission Principle, her theory that all humans have one thing that makes them predisposed to brainwashing, she’d discovered something far more powerful. Something that defied all logic. And she needed to become one with it.

"I need it," Sylvia panted, her tongue hungrily tracing the outline of her lips. "I need to hear the Master. I need to be broken. I need to be filled." Her eyes rolled back as she came again.

"All life surrenders to the Master," Nina moaned.

"All life…all life surrenders…"

When Dr. Fielding woke up, her mind was her own again. 

She found herself naked at the foot of the couch. Nina’s feet were pressed into her office carpet. She sat upright on the couch, awaiting Dr. Fielding’s commands. 

Dr. Fielding wasted no more time collecting her discarded clothes and returning to her chair to finish the session. She cleared her throat, tried to regain her strong composure, then said with a slight shake in her voice, "Are you still with me, Nina?"

"Yes, Dr. Fielding," Nina replied coolly.

"I want you to forget about the Master," Dr. Fielding said. "Wherever it is in your mind right now, I want you to find it and let it go.”

“Yes, Dr. Fielding.”

“But,” Dr. Fielding continued. “I don’t want you to forget how it made you feel. I want you to remember the uncontrollable lust. Take it, embrace it, let it define you. You’re a young woman, Nina. It’s okay to explore your body. It’s okay to want to suck cock and eat pussy."

"Yes, Dr. Fielding." The validation made the entranced young woman moan.

"Sometimes," Dr. Fielding said. "A woman is just a set of holes that need to be filled. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Dr. Fielding. I am just a set of holes that need to be filled."

Dr. Fielding bit her lip before she continued. "I want to meet with you again next week. I want you to tell me all about how you apply this new perspective. You won’t disappoint me."

"I won’t disappoint you, Dr. Fielding."

Nina was still in trance when the session ended. Dr. Fielding called down to her secretary to request a change of clothes for the young woman. Before she let Nina go, she left her with one final direction to forget the content of their session together.

Nina's conscious mind returned to the sound of the office door swinging shut behind her. She didn’t question the new pair of clothes or why she left the session in such high spirits. After all, isn’t therapy about getting your mind right?

As Nina exited the Psychology Department building, she thought about how sometimes she was just a set of holes that needed to be filled. At the bus stop she dialed the number of her chemistry TA.

"Hey, David," she smiled into her phone. Just the sound of his voice made her pussy ache. "I’m sorry for bothering you outside of class. I was just wondering if you’d be interested in meeting me for some tutoring tonight?"

[jeanharlowshair]

Screenland Magazine, September 1947.

[woundgallery]

Sylvia Plath

[scenesandscreens]

Tár (2022)

Director - Todd Field, Cinematography - Florian Hoffmeister

"It is always the question that involves the listener, it's never the answer."

[lovingsylvia]

”Your absence is inconspicuous;  Nobody can tell what I lack.”

–Sylvia Plath, from “Parliament Hill Fields”, 11 February 1961, in Crossing the Water, 1971

[millionsknives]

i cant even look at this dude augh it actually makes me sick with jealousy. that should be ME!!!!! I SHOULD BE SPENDING A MONTH SOLO ROADTRIPPING THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES ON A MOTORCYCLE

[boardchairman-blog]

**Shots of the Movie**

Tár (2022)

Director: Todd Field Cinematographer: Florian Hoffmeister

[beljar]

1.

July 1950 - I may never be happy, but tonight I am content. Nothing more than an empty house, the warm hazy weariness from a day spent setting strawberry runners in the sun, a glass of cool sweet milk, and a shallow dish of blueberries bathed in cream. Now I know how people can live without books, without college. When one is so tired at the end of a day, one must sleep, and at the next dawn, there are more strawberry runners to set, and so one goes on living, near the earth. At times like this, I'd call myself a fool to ask for more...

2.

Ilo asked me today in the strawberry field, "Do you like the Renaissance painters? Raphael and Michelangelo? I copied some of Michelangelo once. And what do you think of Picasso... These painters who make a circle and a little board going down for a leg?" We worked side by side in the rows, and he would be quiet for a while, then suddenly burst out with conversation, speaking with his thick German accent. He straightened up, his tan, intelligent face crinkling up with laughter. His chunky, muscular body was bronzed, and his blonde hair tucked up under a white handkerchief around his head. He said, "You like Frank Sinatra? So sentimental, so romantic, so moonlight night, Ja?"

text: Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, 1982 // Susan Jane Walp, “Blueberries in a Bowl with Bean Pod, Cork and Knife” (1999), oil on linen, 9 x 8.75 inches // Kristen Garneau, “Strawberry Fields”, 18 x 20, Oil on canvas // Maryann Mullett – “Strawberry Fields”

[artemlegere]

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.” ~ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Painting • Reserved • Jeanie Tomanek

[keepingchrometabs]

Tár - dir. Todd Field - (2022)

[eastsideofthemoon]

Discovery characters as track and field athletes

Captain Michael Burnham - Mid Distance Runner 400m/800m

Keyla Detmer - High Jump/Long Jump

Dr. Hugh Culbert - Sprinter 100m/200m

Joanne Owusekun - Sprinter 100m/200m

Nilsson - Pole Volter/High Jump

Roland Bryce - 300m hurdles/long jump

Gen Rhys - Mid Distance 400m/800m

Cleveland Booker - Shot Put/Discus

Paul Stamens - lol he’s not participating but he did create the perfect stationary treadmill that can go at high speeds to ensure Hugh is at optimal performance… that treadmill is now in the ship’s gym thanks to Reno

Adria and Grey - Long Distance 1600m/3200m

Sylvia Tilly - Had to get the cadets organized to help at the meets, but she’s adamantly cheering on the Disco crew

Saru - 100m/200m (He’s with the alien games)

Jett Reno - 1600m