#sydney i love you too and i hope you get treated as well as you deserve
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buck-star · 1 day ago
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Happy holidays, Sydney!
Kris! Thank you so much for the sweet treat of Lloyd! Happy Holidays to you too! Sooo, thank you for letting me make it dark, because this gif screamed at me to write some darker stuff again. Hope you enjoy it.
Masterlist | Holiday game
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Lloyd groans as he leans his head back in the seat; he closes his eyes for a moment, running one of his hands over his face. His other hand is placed on the armrest of his seat, fingers thrumming down on the leather while the end of a leash is tightly wrapped around his calloused hand.
He takes a deep breath, enjoying the silence in the jet for a while, finally managing to shut you up. Or at least almost; the tiny whimpers and muffled sobs behind the gag are the only sounds that are audible. But he doesn’t care; they are way more pleasant than your constant screaming at him.
After a moment he sighs and sits up straight, opening his eyes to look down at you. His legs are spread; he’s keeping you trapped in between them, pulling the leash when you try to struggle against him. “Don’t ya think ya look way better on ya knees for me, sunshine?”
Tears roll down your cheeks, and you struggle against him once more. It only results in you being pulled closer to him. Lloyd smirks down at you when your face presses against the prominent bulge in his white pants. He groans, feeling your cheek pressing down on his hard cock, causing some friction.
“Cryin’ like a little girl, where’s the attitude ya had?” Lloyd mocks, bringing his free hand to your head and stroking your hair softly. It’s almost weird how soft and tender his touch is compared to the way he treats you and keeps your face close to his crotch. “Does that collar help ya to know ya place, pumpkin?”
You try to pull away once more, earning an annoyed huff from Lloyd. His mood changes with every wrong movement you’re doing. He asked you to be good, and he won’t hurt you, but you decided to scream and struggle against him, so it has to have consequences.
Your muffled cries turn him on even more, your eyes red and teary while more and more tears roll down your cheeks. Even your saliva, dripping down your chin, makes his cock twitch harder in his tight pants.
“You’re going to be good and do as I ask, or do ya need my dick up your ass to have a reason to scream?” He asks, his eyes darken and glisten dangerously at the thought of his cock up your ass — especially with no preparation.
Your eyes widen, and you shake your head as best as you can. You know damn well what Lloyd is capable of. He grins at you, leaning back and nodding down to his crotch.
“Then better get to work, or I’m gonna help ya, sunshine. And ya won’t like it, so you better be good now,” he says with a stern, dark tone, enjoying the view of you shaking when you bring your hands to his belt to take off his pants like he told you to — he did like half an hour ago, but he doesn’t mind how long it takes you to listen to him; he will make you, one way or the other. His voice gets a bit lower but sweeter. “Next time you’re going to be good, and we can make it pleasant for both of us immediately, love.”
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ribby16 · 6 months ago
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To us it’s just a whole season we had to sit through without getting the storylines we were hoping for.
However, to Carmy it’s months of being deeply depressed, relapsing into trauma, and continuing to somehow find the will to wake up every day. I forgive him for it, and I think once he finds it in himself to really see how loved he is, he will work on repairing what he’s broken with the people in his life. He deserves the best and I hope he finds it.
And Sydney, I love her. The Bear is her life and she deserves to see all the success it will receive because of her. I hope she gets that rightful apology from Carmy and finds it in her to stay (as I suspect she would rather do anything else than actually leave).
Romantic or not, Syd and Carmy have been tied to each other in more ways than one, and they both deserve the opportunity to get that wonderful connection back between them.
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neonovember · 5 days ago
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This is an idea that’s been on my mind lately because Carmy would be so protective and would 100% treat his gf like a princess, so I thought I’d send it in ifs it’s okay!!🤧
Can I please request Carmy x fem!reader where it’s based off the song “Treat You Better”, where she’s one of his chefs, and Carmy has a biiiig soft spot for her, like soft smiles, hand on the small of her back. Y/n is veryyyy soft spoken and quiet, a very stark contrast to the rest of The Beef/The Bear staff. The staff absolutely love her and are super protective of her: She’s best friends with Sydney (also she’s around the same age as Syd, early 20s), Tina sees her as a daughter, Marcus is always trying to make her laugh and asks her to try his pastries, Richie is more gentle with her than he is with everyone else, Ebra has a calmness around Y/n, Sugar (when she stops by) loves treating Y/n like the little sister she never had, and Carmy… Carmy is head over heels for Y/n. He’s so soft and gentle with her, never raising his voice at her in the kitchen, and he always has the cutest nicknames for her🤧. However… Y/n has a boyfriend, they all know it, and they all share an extreme dislike for him. He’s not very nice, and it all goes to a boiling point when they spot bruises, Y/n letting her hair fall over her face.🥺 Tina and Sydney probably noticing right as she walks in one morning, then the rest of the staff noticing too, the whole kitchen getting eerily quiet, Carmy pulling her aside to his office to talk to her, holding Y/n in his arms while she cries🥺 Carmy 100% taking his bat and beating the crap out of her bf… Now ex, and he offers for Y/n to stay with him because she has nowhere to go? Their relationship growing after that? Y/n kissing him one day, shook at herself, but he kisses her back?
July in November
carmen berzatto x fem! reader
warnings: heavy domestic abuse, controlling fiance, swearing, violence, carmen goes gives absolute no regard for felonies, (assumed) unrequited love, self deprecation, victim blaming
a/n: this entire fic is just time skips l swear, I've written something similar here as well if you liked this which i hope you did! dv is a heavy subject, and not something to trivialise. if you or someone you know is going through dv, please reach out x
banner from @firefly-graphics
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The streaks of concealer do little to hide the bloom of dark purples and blues.
They stretch out, clawing up your side and past your ribs, shades of overlapping blotched bruises that were not yet healed.
You were a chef trained in Oslo for god sake, you had friends and family who loved you- and you let out a laugh when the words come out pathetic and dull. 
You were right where he left you.
You suppose from the continuous uphill of your career, the exhaustion had made it easier to just sit still, let it happen. He had proposed and you had said yes unblinking. It was what he told the countless people at dinner parties he dragged you to in attendance, 
“I had finally beat her down enough to finally fall in love with me” He smiled, his eyes shining and his grip on your waist bruising as the people smiled and laughed and you swallowed back his irony.
The cycles of abuse had started before you could truly remember, bouts of angry yelling before the hot dull beat of pain. And he was so kind after, so thoughtful and apologetic, his eyebrows furrowed and his touch gentle as he leaned over you.
Were you still a victim, if you wanted to stay just for the after?
You shake your head, slowly blinking at the reflection of your bloated torso. Peeling away your shirt gently before buttoning up one of your work shirts instead.
Your heart settled when you thought of the Bear. It was your haven, Richie’s rambled drivel, Sugar hovering every so near, Carmen with his eyes and his inked hands and his sweet mouth. It wrapped around you more tightly than those bruises ever could.
You look over to watch your fiancé, fast asleep content with a full stomach and tired fists. He was so vulnerable like that, and the feeling of anger unfurls in your gut. For once, just one time you wanted him to feel it, that gut wrenching frightened feeling.
You look over to the stone doorstep near his desk, the stupid thing that he had revered at one of his art conventions that was left keeping the door open. You wonder, just for a second, what it would feel like to lean over him with it between your hands, waiting for the slight blink of his eyes that clear away the sleep. 
Watch the fear melt into them, and smashing his fucking face with it.
You breathe deeply, arranging your hair so it is out of your face, flattening out the creases in your shit and avoiding your stomach as you stood up and grabbed your bag.
“Where are you going” 
You blink, hands gripping your work bag as his voice bellows “Work”
“Huh. We need to sort that out soon”
You stopped, closing your eyes as you fiddled with the loose threads from the shoulder strap. You knew this conversation, where he would bring up another thing in your life he wanted to talk about, as if your relationship was built on a solid base of understanding and conversation. You would wait until his voice would ripen with jealousy and rage, where thinly veiled inquisition would fall away and reveal what he truly wanted. 
You had given him enough of your life, let him change and control it. But you would soon let yourself be buried then let him take this too from you. No fucking way.
“Sure”
You pass by the door, pushing the stone to the side. It wasn’t heavy at all.
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It’s when you enter the back door of the Bear do you realise you’ve spent your whole commute over holding your breath.
The smells of sauces and expensive meats lulls your anxiety into a mummering tremble, and you sigh softly to yourself as you sling your bag into your locker.
You can already hear Richie arguing, and the tired voice of Carmen biting back and you want to slap yourself for all the times you had grown annoyed at them. What you would give to hear them always, to feel this level of safety and comfort without the overhanging timer of when you would eventually have to leave.
You nod towards Sydney, carrying a large tray of roasted pecans over to Sam, her braids intricately wrapped around her head.
The walkway is framed with pictures of the family, from Mickey to the recent Polaroids of Sugar's newborn. You notice a framed picture of the team from years ago, when you had first started working at the Bear. You’re squished between Carmen and Fak, the backdrop of a renovating Bear behind you all. 
The timidiness of being new had not left then, and despite the family enveloping you as their own you had wondered why Carmen had chosen you out of all the decorated chefs that had surely applied. You had asked him this once, after an exhausting dinner rush and he had simply looked up at you from his plate of stolen steak and eggs. 
“You’ve got something, Kid. Maybe it’s because you hadn’t yet gotten the light beaten out from the culinary world but I need that. Need someone who pushes against the boundaries you know?”
You had stayed quiet as he talked
“And you’re a local. Boston isn’t for the faint of heart, you know your diners better than they know themselves. Call it prejudice, I call it a safety cushion.“
You wondered what she would think of you now, her wide eyed dream so close you could see her tight grip on her chef coat in the grainy photograph.
You follow the noise of the crew into the kitchen, when Carmen is hunched over a chopping board and Richie is pointing out problems in the seating arrangement for tonight.
He exhales, ready to start another contingent when he spots your figure walking through the entryway.
“Finally. Someone fucking competent in this place” 
“Hey Richie” You smile, tightening your apron before biting back a wince. The darkness of your life outside of the Bear had a way of seeping in at times, you had grown too comfortable.
“Hey baby, you good? yeah?” Richie replies
“Richie-“ Carmen interrupts, turning his head to face you for the first time in an hour (which you did not realise but Riche surely did) 
“Fuck off. Fuck you. You sure baby? Need me to get you somethin? I got a pack of Marlboros if you need a break”
“Leave her alone, dammit Richie, and a cigarette this early?”
“Oh! Oh! The addict wants to act holier than thou all of a sudden. Just because you slapped on a couple Nic patches-“
“It’s gum and it’s fucking working asshole”
“The L hold you up?” Richie says, throwing the finger at Carmen
“No, no, um, just got in a little fight with David” You reply, cutting your eyes away from him.
Richie rolls his eyes with a groan, a sour expression filters over his face in flash at the mention of your fiance’s name.
“That fuckin’ guy, I swear that boyfriend of yours” Richie groans
“It was my fault really.”
You notice Carmen’s movements stop abruptly, the chopping growing silent with his back turned to you.
“I highly doubt that” Carmen grumbles, before Tina and Sydney come through the door
“Hey, why were you late you missed out on that guy who tried fighting Fak-”
“Her stupid fucking boyfriend”
“Easy” Carmen replies, turning to face you again
“Hey, c’mon Carmen you of all people know that man does not deserve her one fucking bit”
“Darling you need to get rid of that man I’m telling you, he ain't treating you the way you deserve. There's no good keeping an angry man” Tina chides, eyebrows raised as she wipes her fingers on the cloth draped over her shoulder.
“Yeah, he's a dick. And he’s always just…hovering when he comes.” Sydney replies
“And always talk in this condescending tone, adding random words to sound smarter than he is” Marcus’s voice interjects, peeking from around the pastry corner
“Like pseudo-intellectual goddamn-” Tina grumbles, in lightning speed
“Yuppie” Fak continues, and Tina nods 
“All I’m saying doll, is that if you end up dumpin’ him we’d be right behind ya’. Might throw a little party here, a small one…how much does it cost to hire some fireworks?”
“Ease up guys, her love life ain’t got nothing to do with us alright. Let the girl be” Carmen voice bellows “And we got work to do”
He turns to the rest of them, shaking his head feigning annoyance at the team gathering together to gossip. And yet, his hands grip his towel tight enough to leave them white, and his teeth grind against his molars when he thinks of your boyfriend.
You don’t know how they'd react when they find out he proposed, you can’t exactly hide a ring.
“Hey” You smile towards Carmen, who’s twisted features blink into resolve when he hears you
“Hey” He nods, wincing as he pressed his fingers to his temple gingerly.
“Still got that headache?”
“I’ll be fine, just wish it would save the eye stabbing until after dinner service”
“Here”
“I’m alright-“
“Take it” you repeat, pressing some pain killers in his hand.
Carmen nods gratefully, hands clasped around yours for a second longer. Before they part.
He eyes the pills, and for a second you see this puzzled look gleam across his eyes.
He pops them in his mouth, you let out a breath from your chest quietly.
You kept your work and home life separate, Carmen didn’t need nor should carry the burden of this ugly secret that paints you from the inside out.
You had a lid on it. You were sure.
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You let yourself get lost in the ingrained memory of moving around the kitchen, letting the slice of your knife against the flesh of meat and fruit melt away everything you had been shouldering the past year.
It gets busy, really busy, Richie and Carmen fail to cohabitate in the hours of the dinner service, multiple plates are dropped, you almost can’t keep up with the never ending orders coming in but its also fucking amazing. The rush of delivering every component of a plate in time, making sure the meat is cooked until just right, making sure the sauce isn't runny, it feels like dancing. 
Your legs and arms ache, you have a headache and your apron is stained and you can’t tell the difference between the end of the dinner service and hitting the last step of a choreographed dance.
The high that buzzes through your body is mirrored by everyone around you, and you take a second to sink in that feeling of euphoria as the last tables are cleared.  
“That was..” You start, un-hunching your shoulders as the rest of the team look up in a daze, surrounding the kitchen
“Fuckin’ amazing, might be our best night yet” Richie grins, bobbing his chin as it rests on his hands
“That was good..we could've been a bit better at turning the tables-” Carmen murmurs
“Oh c’mon Carmy, we can talk about the finalities later but even you can admit that was pretty good” Sydney calls out, leaning her head against the door frame, as exhausted pulls at her every feature
“Yeah…yeah it was good”
“No one go anywhere, I’ve got left over schnitzel and potatoes and I know none of you have taken a break”
“How long has it been since we’ve sat down for family?” Tina mumbles, wiping her stained apron tiredly
“Too long, I don’t mind fixin’ it up” You stretch out your arms, unbuttoning your chef's coat and folding it neatly, despite Sugar throwing them into the sink to soak for the night later.
“I’ll help” Carmen nods to you, doing the same with his apron. His dark crew neck that sticks to him reveals with every button, outlining the indentations of his chest and biceps.
Family usually consists of throwing whatever leftovers from the night's dinner service onto a large plate and proceeding to throw some forks near it. There had been a long trail of food combinations that either delighted the crew or had you throwing your towel in and going to the taco truck nearby.
Today however, the night had gone so well and had distracted you even better. You could at least make up some plates, make ‘em look pretty or whatever else your hands had been trained to do.
The rest of the team move the tables to form one large spanning diner in the middle of the Bear, the scrape of wood against flooring is all that fills the air as you and Carmen work silently. You’re good together, that sort of chemistry that only comes with understanding a person so well you can anticipate their next move. And the night feels like a dance again, moving left and right, handing him pieces of chicken and spoonfuls of sauce, wiping plates clean and centering them right.
It’s only when Richie comes tumbling through the double doors does it cause Carmen to jump, spilling the ladle of hot gravy across your shirt. You wince, Carmen lets out a garbled grunt and Richie cringes.
Carmen is quick, reaching for a nearby cloth as he begins to lift up your shirt gingerly. The sauce isn't boiling, but there is a slight stinging heat that radiates across your midsection and you're too distracted and uncomfortable that you forget yourself, and let Carmen reveal you.
It takes Carmen a second, he's pulling your shirt up just below your underbra, and his fingers pause against the fabric.
You’re confused just for a moment, but it stretches out, and you let yourself sit in the fantasy of unknowing, you let yourself imagine a life where what was sprawled across your skin was just the remnants of a soggy shirt and irritated skin.
The truth of it hits you when you watch Carmen's face change in front of you.
“What the fuck?”
“Don’t-”
“What?” Richie calls, coming closer before throwing his head back
“Jesus fuckin' christ kid” 
“I-I we got into a fight-“
“A fight? He beat you!”
“You don’t understand-”
“Maybe I don’t but this-“ Carmen gestures to the welts and colours that paint your stomach “Is one of the worst things I’ve seen in a long time”
Carmen’s hands are still gripping your shirt, the rag dropped to the floor between you now as you lower your head and let your hair cover your eyes.
“I’m sorry-“ You croak out, tongue heavy and eyes blurring with tears.
“Sorry-?” Carmen circuses down to meet your eyes incredulously “You’re sorry? Why are you fucking sorry, look what he fucking did to you!- what has he done to you?”
“Hey hey, honey you need to tell us what happened. This isn’t right, no fight can justify this” Richie whispers, crouching near you as he watches Carmen carefully.
“It was an accident”
“Do you truly believe that?” Richie murmurs softly, and you look up with a furrow of your brow. 
You turn to Carmen whose face is twisted in anger, his eyes on your midsection, his hands around your sides and around you.
“I don’t know anymore..I’m just so tired” You whimper, your throat growing tight as Carmen’s brows furrow, blinking and grinding his jaw
“I’m going to fucking kill him-“
“Hey, Carmen wait just- wait” Richie is quick to reach Carmen as he rears back
“Look at her- he can’t-FUCK”
“I know, and we will. I want to break his goddamn legs but we got to think of her. We need to get her out of this, we need to think about her first”
Carmen closes his eyes as you watch their interaction, and he turns to you as you blink the tears that drop down your cheek. He frowns and waits for your approval and you nod, and Richie lets go of him and he gathers you in his arms and lets you cry the last of your resolve on his shoulder.
You don’t tell him anything, and he doesn’t ask. He lets you wet his shoulder as the silence that sits in the kitchen is consumed by your muffled cries instead. 
The commotion causes the rest of the team to flood in, putting the pieces together when they see your shoulders shaking with grief and your unbuttoned top. The bear hung with the sick reality of a beat woman, and the once hungry crew now felt the nauseous image in front of them fill their stomach.
Sydney is the one that eases you out of Carmen’s arms, and pulls your hair back as she whispers apologies into your ear. She takes you to the emergency room to make sure nothing is broken. When the nurses greet you by name she waits until you're in the examination room before sobbing into Tina’s arms.
“How did I not notice, I see her every goddamn day, how did I not notice he was hurting her?”
“Don’t do that, don’t blame yourself. There is only one person to blame”
The rest of the team follows, and they all sprawl across the waiting room, heads between their hands.
After one of the junior doctors gives you the all clear, and Carmen and Richie follow up on the police report you make your way down the linoleum hallway in the crumbled stained shirt that had started this all.
You blink as you watch the faces of everyone you love look up in worry, exhaustion is written into their bones and still they sit in the too small waiting chairs for you. You had never felt a love like that before, so profound and overwhelming clear and you breathe it in deeply like it's the last thing you’ll taste.
“I’m so sorry-”
“Don’t you fuckin dare-”
“I know, I know, just please hear me.”
They relent, and you wait until they all nod towards you before continuing
“You guys have taken me as your own, made me feel a part of something greater than myself.  I don’t want you to think I was unloved” Your voice heightens with the wet tears that fill your throat
“Every single time I came through those doors I felt it okay? I never understood the power of it, of love, but I feel it now and I felt it then. It just got muddled in the middle of all of this, of all the things I keep hidden. And that is my fault, but you guys, the Bear? You guys kept me alive” You whisper the last part, your voice caught in your throat as you try to still the shake your hands.
“You did nothing wrong baby, nothing. It’s hard to leave isn’t it? It’s hard to even say it” Ebra is the first one to whisper, holding your hands gently and carefully. You look at him, as his eyes gleam with the heaviness of his past and you don’t quite understand how, but you believe he knows that well. 
“We’re your family, whatever it is that you're dealing with we shoulder it to, we carry that burden. That is what we're here for, and you can take all the time that you need. Let us help you, but you know what happens now, yes?” Richie murmurs
“I need to get out”
“Damn fucking right you do. And fast, I know it's going to be hard but you need to act like everything is normal. Get in, pack a bag and get out.”
You breathe in deeply, remembering all the half packed duffle bags that had been left near the door. This time you wouldn't be able to back out, this time Carmen would make sure of it.
“Where’s Carmen?” You suddenly say, and Richie shifts his gaze to the exit sign.
“Maybe give him a few moments Kid” Richie murmurs, but you ignore him, moving quickly towards and out of the doors into the smoking area in the alleyway.
You spot him hunched over, back against the stone wall, trails of grey smoke filters from his mouth as you tsk loudly when you near him.
He raises his head up, widening his eyes before looking down at the cigarette.
“You were doing so good” You smile softly
“Yeah? Felt like pulling teeth, not grabbing for one every couple hours.”
“But those chewing gums”
Carmen shakes his head “Don’t tell Rich, but they were fucking disgusting”
You let out a hearty laugh, leaning back on the wall beside him.
Carmen takes one last deep drag, before pressing the butt of the stick into the wall that isn't near you.
It’s silent, and you feel him watching you for a long time before his voice replies in a croaky tear filled tone you had never heard come out of his mouth before.
“Goddamn it kid”
“I know” You reply instantly, the tears that you thought had left you were big fat liars.
“I want to blame myself, I will for a long time but this isn’t about me is it”
You shake your head furiously, it was so far apart from him. 
“What can I do? What can I do to make it better?” Carmen whispers, turning to face you fully now, eyes red and blonde curls messy across his brows.
“It’s not something you can fix Carm, you just got to let me do it. Let me walk away completely”
Carmen grits his teeth, “I should’ve made more attention-”
“How? Between renovating the Bear, organising the menu, fucking opening and maintaining the dinner service every night?”
Carmen shakes his head and you tug at his arm gently
“I didn’t let you notice Carm, I hid it well sometimes I even forgot about it. The bear, you? You let me forget, you let me feel so safe I forgot what he was doing to me”
Carmen reaches for your hand, holding onto it gently 
You shake your head, shaking the tears along with it. You hadn’t so much as let yourself hear the truth of what had been happening, but it flowed out of your mouth like a river into Carmen.
“He got drunk one night” You whisper, biting your cheek as you bristle at the memory of it
“He got drunk one night, and started accusing me of these horrible things. Things I would never do. And when I tried talking to him he just turned to me with this look in his eyes, and it was so unlike him Carm. It was like someone else had come and taken his body, and his voice and his mouth”
“And when I reached for him he reached back. And then I suppose I got used to being afraid of him”
“I don’t know what changed that night, but it did. Or maybe he had always been that way and I had been to blind by the feeling of being wanted that I ignored it. But it got worse, he hit me, but he started controlling what I was doing. Always flinging my phone in my face so that he could look for something that wasn’t there, eyes always scrutinising me when I came home fucking exhausted from the Bear.”
“That was how it started, and I guess it never quite ended” You murmur, and when Carmen drags his thumb across your cheek, you understand the rage that he had kept covered for you.
“I’m going to hurt him. And that's more for me than it is for you, I know it and I don’t care. He doesn't get to walk away.” Carmen replies after a beat, and his voice is even. You can see his anger from before slipping into the darkness of his pupils, but his voice is clear and devoid.
“I know” You murmur
“And you’re going to stay with me till we get you a place. Tina and Syd offered and well the whole team, but I can’t-”
“I know, you can’t put them in danger”
“No. I can’t let it happen, you being alone, him somehow getting to you. You being hurt again-” Carmen shakes his head, grinding his jaw as he cuts his eyes away.
“Okay” You mumble, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of your secret that had weighed you down every day fall away.
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The month after had passed quicker than any other time in your life. And for that you were grateful. You had packed a bag and moved into Carmen's apartment that night, and he and Richie had made good on their promise. They watched, as well as the rest of the Bear with a sneer as your fiance was carried into the police station, and you watched the mirror of your injuries multiplied across his face. 
The police had been slow in taking action, even you know this, so you suppose their tight lipped expressions at the beaten man they found in your trashed apartment made up for that.
Carmen slept near the door for the first two weeks, a bat in his hand and his notebook of recipes filled with scribbled annotations. Tossing and turning enough times, made you wrap your blanket around yourself and join him by the door. You would wake up some nights, in a sweat from the terror of your nightmare imagining him somehow finding you, and you would join him those times as well.
The truth of all that had happened still had not yet been told, and you doubt that it ever will. But you were okay with that, and Carmen was too. And so when your fiance had been tried and sentenced, and the promise of broken bones hung over him even years after, Carmen had made no mention of finding you a place. 
And so you stayed, and made a home for yourself. Let your shoes get muddled and clutter the hallway, have your toothbrush besides his own. Move in the last pieces of yourself that had been left in that prison to a place that could maybe change them.
You spent Thursdays with Richie, he’d wait at the foyer for you and he'd take you out for lunch like clockwork. Divulging in your week as he did his, he let you steal some of his cigarettes and you let him ramble to you. Richie had surprised you, when all was said and done. He had known what to do, knew how to talk to you, and you think you credit him to a lot of where you were now. You suppose he blames himself a little as well, so you don’t mind that Thursdays were his way of checking up on you.
You let the team act the same way, Tina bringing you plates of food and tupper wares of lasagna till Carmen's fridge was hard to open, Sydney calling every day, Ebra and Marcus making sure you had someone who could walk you home if Carmen had to stay back. And when you had finally had enough, they nodded and backed away and let you out of their grip.
You're crouched in the fire escape of Carmen's building, passing a bottle of wine that you had snuck from service. 
“I visited him today”
“What?” Carmen replies, knowing immediately who you were talking about.
You shrug your shoulders, “I was too much of a mess to confront him, and the court proceedings left me too numb to even face him. But I went today, and I told him. What he had done, how he had changed.”
“But then he laughed and I punched him in his goddamn mouth”
“Atta girl” Carmen grins, his smile filling up the entire bottom of his face.
“So I can’t ever come back to the Boston Corrections facility, and boy am I glad. You know what this means though right?”
“Hm?” Carmen mumbles with a mouthful of street tacos
“You can’t ever get yourself thrown in prison” You chide, and you smile when he throws his head back in laughter
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“Seriously Carm?” You bemoan, resting against the living room entryway
“Yes, the bed is strictly meant for you. What do you take me for? Letting a woman sleep on the couch” Carmen gruffs, carefully placing the duvet over the couch cushions.
“It’s been nearly a year since I’ve moved in, Carmen. I don’t think it's ridiculous to assume we can share a bed together”
Carmen grinds his jaw, swallowing back grunt at the thought of sharing a bed with you. As if it was no big thing, as if Carmen would be able to sleep with you next to him.
“It’s called being a host”
“I signed the lease 2 months ago, we’re technically de-facto” You raise your eyebrows, folding your hands across your chest
“The only time I’ll let the government decide what we are is when-if I put a ring on that finger” Carmen replies, the little slip causing him to cut his eyes from you and back to the duvet that was already folded.
You shake your head with a laugh “This you’re way of proposing Carm? Take a girl out for dinner first”
Carmen mumbles under his breath, flattening the duvet with his inked hands before his phone buzzes
“Goddamnit, that’s Richie. 
“Leave that sofa and let's go down to meet our friends and have a nice time. God knows we’ve earned more than a few drinks at Nick’s” You reply, swiping Carmen’s phone
“Hey!”
“You weren’t even going to answer him” You roll your eyes.
You send Richie a text that was all apologetic and none grammatically correct as you shuffle out of your work pants into some jeans. 
The team was already at the bear, halfway through the first round of drinks and you’d be damned if you let Carmen make the both of you late.
Carmen is in jeans as well, and the white shirt he always dons fits around his chest tightly. You can lie to yourself most days, but in times like this, where you both live in this domestic bubble your mind wanders.
You don’t let it too much.
But when you're visiting family, and you pass by the Louisiana welcome sign planted in the roadway, and the weather gets warm and the nights stretch out you let yourself think of him. You let yourself imagine a life where he was entwined, in you, your life, your days while you drink on the porch of your family home.
The thought of being in anything new scares you to no end, your past finds you in moments you least expect and dredges you down to the same feeling you felt when you were with him.
But Carmen was your past too wasn’t he? He was muddled and interlinked with all the memories that make your chest ache and your hands shake. Carmen didn’t feel new..you had already been living with each other for a year now, and you suppose the way you both flow into each other's lives was no different.
You’d be together, in the way you had always been but different also. You’d get to grow familiar of the taste of him, you’d get to feel him under your skin, beneath your fingers, and he’d sleep in that fucking bed for the first time in a year.
Then the sun would dip below the horizon, the sounds of the insects and birds would come back to you, and the creeping shadow of guilt and insecurity would remind you of who you were again. 
You’d taste the bitter embarrassment of forcing Carmen to be that way with you, throwing your head back as you gulp down the beer in your hand as you try to stave away the taste. The dream disappears each time from you, like the oranges and reds that paint the Louisiana sky every evening.
“Hey, we going or what?” Carmen says, his eyes narrowing at, you noticing the way your eyes glaze over.
“Yeah, yes” You nod, swallowing the thoughts of him quickly as you finish tying your boots and let Carmen lock the door behind you. 
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The bar is surprisingly crowded on a Tuesday night, and you have to squeeze past crowds of leather wearing bikers before finally seeing the team seated in a long booth at the back.
“Finally!” Richie yells, hands in the air and his beer swishing out of the neck.
“We were about to send a search party” Tina smiles, looking toward you with a glint in her eyes when she notices Carmen’s arm at your back.
“Aren’t you guys like, a 2 minute walk from this place? Fak got here before you” Marcus replied, his old fashioned nursed in your arms.
“I had no involvement in our tardiness, he was too busy fixing his makeshift couch bed”
“Oh don’t tell me your still sleeping on that” Richie’s eyes widen
“You know that ain’t even a good couch right? We found it on the side of the road-“ 
“It’s not good for your back Carmen, all those cushions” Ebra shakes his head disapprovingly.
“It’s perfectly fine Ebra, and who would I be if I let a woman sleep on the couch?” Carmen grumbles, as both slide into the booth next to Sydney.
“I mean, there is an easy straightforward solution” Sydney murmurs, and everyone turns to her quickly.
“You could both just sleep in the same bed together” She replies, after looking at everyone dumbfounded.
“Only married people share a bed, that’s Sicilian tradition”
“Yeah, mixing work and personal life isn’t-“
“Mixing? They already live together!” Sydney replies, defensively.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already” Four murmured, before snapping his mouth closed when Carmen narrows his eyes to him.
“It’s not about fucking tradition, or whatever. I’m not gonna put her-you in that situation and make you uncomfortable”
“Why would you make me uncomfortable?” You murmur without thinking, and the booth goes quiet.
Carmen shakes his head, blinking as you remain quiet.
You wince at the silence, maneuvering your body quickly out of the booth as you almost fall out.
“Uh-I’m going to get a drink” You reply quickly 
Carmen's body isn’t fast enough for his legs and he stands up from his position on the booth quickly, almost tumbling over.
 “I’ll come with you”
You shake your head, forcing a tight smile as you wave him off.
“It’s okay, I know your order” You reply quickly, turning around without seeing the look on Carmen’s face.
You slide into one of the vacant barstools, signalling to the bartender as they make the rounds across the counter.
The rows of silver bracelets that hang around the bartender's wrists cling as they mix and shake drinks, and you let yourself get lost in the glittering light show of them reflecting off the bar lights. They distract you enough to not notice the man that now leers over you.
You flinch when you feel his hand touch your shoulder, and when you turn expecting one of the guys from the Bear you're taken back when you're met with a five o clock shadow and a stink of vodka.
“What's a girl like you doin’ all alone?” 
“I’m good” You grit out from between your teeth
“Oh c’mon, you girls love to play hard but what you really need-”
“I said leave me alone asswhole” You spit, roughly moving his latched fingers from your shoulder. 
The man sneers, his voice growing louder and sloppy as he begins to swear at you. His hands find their way to your waist, and the shiver of disgust turns into a familiar sharp pain as you shout out.
“You fucking bitch” The man starts, before you see the flash of dirty blonde curls cover your vision and the feeling of his fingers around you is wrenched off.
Carmen’s hands are around his neck, and he slams him into the wooden floors of the Bar with ease. He holds him there before turning to look up at you, his eyes blown out and his eyebrows furrowed behind his curls. Your chest heaves as you meet his gaze, and you watch as his eyes trail down your body, almost surveying the extent of your injuries and filing it into his mind so that it is all he thinks about when he breaks the skin across his knuckles.
You watch Carmen work, watch the way his shoulders and back contorts under every movement that lands a punch into the man's face. The buzzing chatter of the bar increases, as people begin to take notice of the shouts of frazzled swears and slobby slurs that leave the man's mouth. Someone screams there is a fight, and the bartender mutters obscenities as they try to push through the crowd.
Carmen lands punch after punch into his face, with no real sense of stopping as his movements grow more and more crazed with every crack of skin and dribble of blood that paints his hands. Carmen's eyes look determined, like he had a goal to all of this, and when Richie and the rest of the team pushes past the crowd and shouts out to him to stop, he looks up at you do you know.
You didn’t get to see what he had done to your husband, or how. But now, he takes his time with the man under him who kicks and fails, blubbering out blood and drool. He continues to stare at you, and the rest of the patrons look on in horror as the man under Carmen becomes disguised by the brutality of Carmens fists across his body. You hear the crack of bone, and when the man screams out a loose and garbled apology from the swollen tongue of his mouth, does Carmen flick his eyes down to him.
“You’re sorry? Yeah?” Carmen murmurs, softly
The man nods eagerly, his mouth filling with blood and his eyes swollen
“I’m not sure I believe that” Carmen replies, sending his foot into the mans stomach as he keels over
“Okay, Carmen that's enough” Richie calls out
“All I did was ask her a question!” The man screams out, his words jagged and unclear
“Hey, you shut the fuck up” Richie replies, before clocking his head to try and meet Carmens gaze who is back on you
“Look man, I get it. That one time wasn’t enough, but you can’t keep doing this”
Carmen grinds his teeth, as you look on in awe as his knuckles bleed violently, throwing his arm up and swinging down onto the man.
You got what you needed from this, and so when you step closer to Carmen and turn your head to the side you can only think of one thing
“I’m banned for at least 12 months” 
You watch his fingers loosen around the man's bloody shirt, and Carmen wipes his hands across the man's chest before slowly straightening up from his crouched position.
“Get the fuck out, the both of you before the cops get here” The bartender grits out, shaking his head.
Carmen nods, “I’m not fucking sorry”
“Yeah yeah I know” The bartender rolls his eyes, before you grab Carmen's arm and push through the gawking faces of onlookers
You find a door leading out to a side alleyway, and you both fall out from the door into a combined heap.
“I had to do it okay? The way he was looking at you and that fucking hand around your side I couldn’t just let him-“ Carmen starts, chest heaving up and down and the splatter of spit and blood across his jaw
You don’t let him finish the rushed words that fall out of his mouth before you cover it with your own. Gripping onto the loose collar of his shirt, you drink down the anger and violence that had been festering on the both of you.
Carmen tastes sweet, like the cranberry jus he had been preparing, and rough too, like his worn workmen jacket and the pepper taste of his nicotine gum.
You realise then that you would never taste something as great as that, and that you would be chasing the feeling of how Carmen’s lips against your own vibrates through you from head to foot.
You pull away with quickness, chest heaving and eyes wide as you feel Carmen’s mouth warm your chest.
Carmen doesn’t blink, he stares at you, the brittle Chicago winter blowing his hair across his forehead and the distant sound of sirens and he stares at you.
“I’m not sorry” You whisper, pressing your lips together
“Good” Carmen replies before you’ve even uttered the last word.
And when you blink the cold smoke of his breath is over you again, his inked fingers cradle your head and he takes your mouth again.
You don’t stop the crash of your open mouths and dipping tongues until the warmth of Carmen covers you entirely, until November in Chicago feels like July.
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taglist !
@kpopgirlbtssvt @hansfics @nolita-fairytale @parmforcarm @rooster-bradshaw
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f1fnatic · 11 months ago
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BUT I THOUGHT SHE WAS UNFAITHFUL? ⤿ d. ricciardo 3
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→ ( in which. . . ) you star in a movie as the lead actress. in said movie, you date your co-star. the fans of your boyfriend don't like the idea, so they spread rumors in response to you and your co-stars friendship. but, little do they know, it's not you they should be worried about.
→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) social media au
→ ( face claim. . . ) sydney sweeney
→ ( pairing. . . ) daniel ricciardo x actress!reader
→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) rumors of cheating, eventual cheating, cyber bullying, language, toxic fans
→ ( author's note. . . ) this was sitting in my drafts for so very long and i just finished it in class, i am so happy i am able to post something after such a long hiatus. I hope you enjoy! see end for more
─ INSTAGRAM ↴
y/nnnn
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liked by glenpowell, danielricciardo, alexademie, lewishamilton and 3,126,731 others
tagged: glenpowell, sonypictures, and anyonebutyoumovie
happy to announce that anyone but you in theaters NOW! go watch it >:)
view 865,729 comments
y/nlover ugh cannot wait to watch!
alexademie pretty pretty girl
y/nnnn all you lexie :(
danielricciardo so unbelievably proud of you roo ❤️
y/nnnn thank you badger ☹️
glenpowell such an honor to work with you!
y/nnnn i can say the same!
y/nhater don't you think that her and glen are too close to be co-stars?
y/nhater2 i'm thinking the same thing there's no way she didn't cheat
y/nfan wtf are u talking ab? y/n would NOT do that to danny they are happy together
lewishamilton free tickets 👀
landonorris 👀
maxverstappen1 👀
charles_leclerc 👀
y/nnnn sonypictures what do you think?
sonypictures I'm sure we can work something out.
danielricciardo
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liked by y/nnnn, glenpowell, landonorris, scottyjames31, and 3,421,874 others
tagged: y/nnnn
words cannot express how proud i am of you, my love. you have poured so much blood, sweat, and tears into this movie. i know it has been hard, especially the long shoot hours, the frantic facetimes in between scenes can vouch for that and so can the texts. i will definitely miss the on-set pictures/updates.
i love you so much y/n. i don't know how i could be any prouder. p.s. i better get a private showing if you know what i mean 😉
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landonorris gross there are children on this app
hunterschafer cutie pies
zendaya is that blond single?
danielricciardo not atm no get in line
y/nnnn danny be nice.
danielricciardo sry love 🫡
y/nfan LMAO
georgerussell63 get a room 🤮
drlover she is such a slut
alexademie actual goals
y/nnnn awe danny i love you too
y/nnnn definitely NOT crying right now!!!
lewishamilton she is lying she facetimed me SOBBING
y/nnn i called you in CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE LEWIS.
y/nnnn you are the sweetest, most supportive person i have ever met. i could not have gotten through this without you ❤
danielricciardo there is no one else i rather support ❤
y/ndanny they are meant for each other
y/nhater what a fucking whore
y/ndanny2 the best couple
─ TWITTER ↴
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─ IMESSAGE ↴
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─ TWITTER ↴
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imessage ↴
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—————————————————————
Unknown Contact i stole ur mans 😜
—————————————————————
lexieee 😚 i am so so sorry my love, he didnt deserve you ❤️
—————————————————————
Lando Norris He treated you like shit anyways
—————————————————————
alrighty, finished! thank you so much for reading, so sorry for the radio silence, ive been super unmotivated and consumed with school 💔 anyways, requests and feedback are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well (only if you want :P)
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buggybambi · 11 months ago
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Ooo hiii! Can I please request a Carmy x fem!reader where he proposes to her on Valentine’s Day? Ooo and maybe this is the au where she’s his assistant, and has been for years, and the staff is heavily involved in the proposal hehe
Also Richie making some joke about how this is some promotion she’s getting lmao
hope this is okay my love! i honestly had no idea i had an au where she's an assistant lmao! i also changed it a little bit, hope that's okay ♡ - wc: 1.02k | nav post - request guidelines | cw: fem!reader, mention of reader wearing a dress
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"You're not seriously proposing, are you?" Richie asks Carmen as the two prepare the Beef for it's opening. Carmen lets out a sigh as he ties his apron behind his back. "And who the hell told you?" Carmen questions in return.
"Sugar did. You proposin' or what?" Richie repeats, as Carmen rolls his eyes. "Cousin, you are not to say a word about this to anyone, okay?" He lets out a long exhale. "I am. Tonight." Carmen confirms as Richie stares at him. "Oh my gosh, you're gonna marry your assistant. If only we had an HR that could have a field day with you."
"I'm basically HR, cousin." Carmy reminds as he walks over to Marcus. "Chef, how's it going?" He asks as he rubs his hands together. "I have got our Valentine's day treats prepped, and I even have a cake prepared for when you propose to your girl." Marcus grins as Carmen rolls his eyes. "Maybe Sugar is the one I should tell to shut up." He mumbles before he walks over to his station.
"So, any big plans for tonight?" He overhears Syd ask you as you and her handle cleaning one of the other stations. "None at all. Why is everyone asking me that today?" You laugh, a sound that he can't help but smile at, as you walk over to Marcus with the clipboard he assigned to you three years ago when you began working as his assistant.
It was Sugar really who gave him the idea of getting an assistant. She told him, "you're busy. You can't handle your own schedule or meetings, so hire someone to do it for you." She was the one to pick you out from a list of candidates, and from the moment he met you, he was in love with you.
But, in usual Carmen fashion, he took forever to get with you. Convincing himself you wouldn't feel the same way, that you wouldn't even want to be with him. Until you told him first that you loved him and had been in love with him. From there you two were kind of like the Jim and Pam of the Beef, at least that's what Sydney referred to you too as.
"Hi Marcus. Oh, cute treats." You greet with a smile as you lean against the wall by his station, clipboard resting face-up against your front. "What's with that cake?" You ask, looking at the clipboard for any orders that may have been placed.
"Uh, I asked him to make it. Pete and I's anniversary is coming up and we didn't save any of our wedding cake so I asked Marcus to recreate it." Nat swoops in, smiling at you. You nod slowly. "Right.. well, congrats on your anniversary, Sug." You say before you turn and walk over to Carmen.
"Hey you. Clear your calendar because I am setting up a date night for us." Carmen says as he leans on the counter, standing in front of you. "Mm. Can I ask what we're doing on this date night or is it a total surprise?" You ask.
"Total surprise. I'll pick you up at your place." He kisses you on the cheek before walking off. You laugh before going back to your clipboard filled with Carmen's list of activites and meetings for the day. ────
You sat on your sofa, the dress you first met Carmen in on you. You figured with it being Valentine's Day, the nostalgia of the first time you met him would be nice for the date night Carmy had planned.
A small knock from the front door, and you stood from your spot and walked over to answer it. Fixing your hair as you stood in front of the door for a second, you opened it, expecting to meet Carmen's eyes. Instead, you found him on one knee in front of you, one hand behind his back.
"I was going to do this at a restaraunt. Or on the sidewalk, or literally any-fucking-where else." He admits with a breathy laugh following. "But, I couldn't wait. I couldn't imagine myself doing this anywhere else and of course it's like me to do this at your front door on your welcome mat."
"I love you. I've loved you since I met you, and each day that passes I find myself falling more and more in love with you. You're my everything, you're my moon and stars- no, you're my fucking universe." He shakes his head, tears in his eyes. "And I can't imagine a world or my life without you there. I want you and I to build a life together. To have a family with you if that's what we find ourselves wanting." He smiles. "Will you make me the happiest man, even though you already have, make me an even happier man and marry me?"
As soon as he pulls the ring out you're already saying yes, practically dragging him up off the ground so you can kiss him. He slides the ring onto your finger before kissing you again. You pull away, laughing as you place a hand on his cheek. "Carm, I love you so much- was everyone else in on this!?" You ask through a laugh.
"They were. Sugar kept telling everyone, I'm shocked no one spilled." He laughs as well, wrapping his arms around you to hug you, burying his face in your neck. "Okay, seriously no Valentine's day will ever top this." You say.
────
It doesn't shock anyone when you show up to work the next day with the ring on your finger, and the story of him proposing on your doorstep doesn't shock anyone either. "Is this her getting a promotion?" Richie asks with a grin as you roll your eyes. "If we had an HR department I swear I'd file a report against you."
"You're technically marrying the HR department." Carmen says softly as you grin. "Hell yes I am." You place a kiss on his cheek. "Hey, now as your assistant I get to schedule your wedding." You note as he smiles, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Can't wait for it."
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˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆。˚꩜
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sadsock · 6 months ago
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thoughts on the bear after season 3 has marinated a bit
now that it’s been a week, there is no doubt in my mind that clairecarmy are not endgame. sydcarmy may not be either (at least in season 4) but it’s not gonna be claire. I think the babysitter comment was intentionally placed to contrast with what the faks say to claire about taking care of carmy. the writers know what not to do and they won’t do it. I trust them to understand that a romance can’t be the answer to carmy’s trauma and pain. it’s love and connection, yes. but his relationship with claire simply did not offer that in a substantial way and they know it. her purpose was to highlight his issues and just what he needs to work on when it comes to relationships and personal growth.
him getting stuck on thoughts about her is bc he’s so painfully aware of this. he knows he messed up badly and knows he keeps messing up all his relationships this season, and he can’t forgive himself for it. so instead he replays every moment with her almost as form of self-punishment (note how anxious it makes him). it reaffirmed everything he feared about himself not being built for normal relationships like normal people, and he spiraled. he is stuck in a self-loathing loop and only knows to drown it out by obsessing over work and being a perfectionist (hence perpetuating the abuse inflicted on him by donna and EMP chef).
not to mention all the promo for the show, claire is barely shown in clips or even the actress molly. and we rarely see her character interact with the other main characters on the show either. this is simply not how you treat the endgame people.
I think carmy’s next arc will be about him forgiving himself, cleanly breaking things off with claire, talking to his mom, and mending his relationships with a focus on richie and sydney. I imagine he will have important scenes with nat and the baby too to represent a new chapter for the berzattos. it will be about him reconnecting with himself and the people he loves, giving himself a chance to experience a softer and kinder mindset. since sydney represents focus on the present and hope for the future (the best meal and all the talk about legacy and family trees), I expect the season will end by showing where they are in their relationship, both professionally and personally.
this is why I wish for a season 5 or second part of season 3 before season 4. so we can have enough time to watch carmy settling into a healing mindset and a renewed outlook on his life and passions (cooking and art perhaps?), as well as meaningful character arcs for sydney and the main crew. all in all, I think this season was important to show carmy just how bleak the world is when he chooses to be so destructive and shunning all the light in his life.
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freedelusionshere · 3 months ago
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Keep on writing your meta and thoughts! I appreciate it a lot. I have a hard time putting my thoughts into coherent sentences sometimes but you do it so well! It’s so cool!!!
Also your particular observation on how a part of the Bear fandom thinks “overworking yourself for success is the only way to go about life, I don’t need love or anything else” is so spot on! I’ve not only seen stuff like that on Reddit as you mentioned but I also did see videos of this on TikTok and it was so frustrating cause the Bear is showing the audience how that does not work out.
That’s why I hope Season 4 is more explicit with how this thinking is detrimental for its characters specifically the main character.
The way I would be so happy to see Carmy removing this idea from himself, showing more intimate moments with the Bear team and doing things he enjoys. I would be so happy!!!
also to then have him experience romance with Sydney
to actually get to see SydCarmy 😅😅 likeee djsjdjd
that would really shake things up!
okay Thks for reading lol
Thanks for writing me! I think that what you're talking about here is actually the whole point of this show. It's about escaping systems that do not really benefit everyone and having solidarity within your community, not with empires and enterprises interested in doing extraction (Chef David) and treating people like robots. Why is Syd zesting lemons and only that when she's super talented? Hmm, I have questions, and I think the show does, too.
This is why Carmy ending up with Syd and not circling back to what his family wants for him is an important part of the overall themes of this show. Even when you start to get free of this stuff it doesn't mean that healing relationships and dealing with your past requires you to stand still in one place and live through your past lens.
Carmy's family is part of a system as well, they reinforce it constantly throughout the series, even while resenting it the whole time, they play the game. Michelle knows this, it's why she tells Carmy to get out of there in Fishes.
The show also depicts Carmy dragging Syd back into the fine dining stuff when she explicitly said in S1 she wanted to do something different. Syd admits she's been his accomplice in S3, so Syd is going to be unpacking some of this stuff with him in S4, I feel? The where did this go wrong; we know we're good together/for each other kind of convo. Because they are. The show has already depicted that when they fell for each other in S1. They're like a married couple getting a separation at this point.
What I've had on my mind the past few days is how Carmy and Syd basically in a very short period of time got in real deep with each other, entangled their lives (they essentially live at the restaurant), are behaving in almost all ways like partners except in one area: they're not physically intimate or experiencing the joys of that and the bonding and comfort it can provide. They both crave intimacy and are afraid of it at the same time.
And all these people in the media and fandom playing games about how they're better as friends or whatever? LOL. They can save it, these two want more than friendship from each other.
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melanatedeuph0ria · 6 months ago
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my initial thoughts on the bear s3 (having only gotten to ep 5)
im not even mad ab the whole sydcarmy breakdown in s3 rn I’m just like disappointed because what the fuck man
I’m only on ep 5 and I’m not gonna lie to y’all if this was as good and actually interesting as season 2 I’d be eating it up and binging that shit as much as I did last year. Well now I rlly can’t because I just HAD to rewatch the show w my parents so now that means I have to wait until they’re in the mood to watch it to watch it with them so I don’t feel like I’m betraying them for watching episodes on my own (mostly my mom tbh) but like ts is NOT speaking to me man
like I NEVER use “man” at the end of my sentences like that only when I’m actually exasperated and fucking tired of the shit something or somebody is pulling
Like FROM WHAT IVE SEEN this season has only showed me that like OKAY I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FAKS IM JUST SEEING THEM WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH LIKE…WHY IS JOHN CENA HERE STOP TRYING TO MAKE SHIT INTERESTING BY INSERTING RANDOM FUCKING CELEBRITIES INTO YO SHIT FIRST OF ALL
SECONDLY I’m pissed with how CARMY IS TREATING MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEEN PRINCESS DUCHESS SYDNEY
Like what happened man 😕
It was legitimately going so so so SO WELL IN SEASON TWO
LIKE I HAD HOPE INDISPUTABLE HOPE ABOUT THEM GETTING TOGETHER
LIKE HUH
but then this WHITE MAN has the nerve to treat her like GARBAGE
FIRST FROM GETTING INTO A FIGHT WITH RICHIE FOR NO FUCKING REASON CAUSING RICHIE TO FALL OVER AND SPILL ALL OF THE HARD EXPO ORDER WORK SYDNEY WAS WORKING ON
LIKE I WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE BYE RESTAURANT WITH NO FUCKING SIGN ON THE FRONT LIKE WHO DO YALL THINK YALL AREEE
ALSO I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL AS HELL
DISRESPECTFUL THAT THIS NIGGA IS ASKING HER “WHAT DO I DO WITH CLAIRE???” LIKE LMAO WHY NOBODY GIVE A FUCK
I THINK IM MOVING TO THE SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT THAT SYDNEY DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS MAN
AND I WIULDVE THOUGHT HE WOULDVE BEEN AT LEAST A LITTLE, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE GENTLRR WITH HER DURING COOKING TOME OR WHAGEVER TF BUT HE STILL JUST AS GORDON RAMSAY-ISH WITH HER LIKE WITH ANYONE
WTF DID WE DO STORER
LIKE WHY R U BEING A BITCH ABOUT SYDCARMY SHIPPERS LIKE U JUST PUT A BIG ASS HOLE IN THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP
LIKE OKAY THEY DONT HAVE TO GET TOGEHRHER WHATEVER IF THEY DONT ILL STILL BE PISSED BUT WHATEVER
BUT I FEEL LIKE
UGH IDK
I CAME TO SEE A LIL ROMANCE THE NITTY GRITTY. LIKE EW HOW THE HELL ARE YALL GOING TO BE SHOWING CLAIRE AND CARMY KISSING IN THE DARK LIKE I DONT CARE WHAT TYPE OF WORK SHE DOES I DONT GAF AB WHAT SHE DO FOR WORK LIKE I APPRECIATE HER BEING A NICE PERSON TO THESE KIDS AND STUFF BUT CMON
CARMY AINT CALL HER NOT ONCE THIS WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN WATCHING
RICHIE IS THE ONLY ONE IM FR INTERESTED IN MARCUS TOO BECAUSE HE TRYNA DO SOME EXPERIMENTAL SHIT OUTSIDE OF THIS STRSSSFUL ASS ENVIRONMENT
AND SINCE WHEN DID THEY STILL OPERATE THE BEEF?!? I THOUGHT THEY CLOSED THAT SINCE WHRN IS A BRANCH OF THAT STILL OPERATING AND WHY IS ONLY EBRA IN CHARGE?!?
I THOUGHT THEY BUILT OVER THE RESTAURANT AND TURNED IT INTO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS NOW I MIGHTA MISSED A PLOT POINT BUT I DONT REMEMBER THAT EVEN BEING SAID
ALSO WHI IS THAT MAN WHO WALTZED INTO THE BEAR REASTUARSNT AND WAS TALKING W CARMY AS HE WAS CUTTING SOME SHIT AND WHO ALSO WAS AT THE WINDOW OF THE BEEF LIKE WHO ARE YOU HO LIKE R U A FAK OR WHAT BITCH
CARMY IS JUST TOO SAME OLD SAME OLD FOR ME LIKE CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE FOR ONCE IN OUR LIVES
LIKE I UNDERSTAND RICHIE ON THE FIRST EP LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN UR SORRY WHEN U LITERALLY CALLED ME A LEECH FOR WANTING TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS FAMILY BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE ONE TO RLLY CALL HIS OWN?!?!? LIKE CARMY CAN YOU CHILL OUT THIS MAN ACTUALLY LOVES YOU NO PAWSE
from what I’ve watched already its okay NOT TO SAY THE ACTORS ARE BECAUSE THE ACTORS DID AN INCREDIBLE PERFOMANCE AS USUAL LIKE THEIR SKILLS ARE STILL GREAT BUT I DONT LIKE WHAT THEY HAVE YALL DOIN WITH THAT AND ITS PISSING ME AWFF DONT PMOOOOO
ALSO IS IT JUST ME OR DO I FEEL LIKE THE BLACK CHARACTERS ARENT GETTING SHIT THIS SEASON
LIKE MARCUS AND TINA..OKAY OKAY THEY GOT THEY LIL EPISODES
BUT WHAT AB NOW IN THE PRESENT
I THINK WHO IM MAINLY TALKING AB IS SYD, EBRA, AND GARY I DAMN NEAR FORGOT HIS NAME BECAUSE WE NEVER EVER EVERRRR SEE HIM. EVER.
LIKE I ACTUALLY LIKE HIS CHARACTER I WANT TO SEE MORE OF HIM HE SEEMS COOL
okay main points:
* syd deserves better
* syd needs to stop being a lil mean to her dad idk I might be soft but like (it HAD to be said cs why r u being so rude to him for having genuine concerns about this murky ass apartment u finna dig into yo pockets to pay for?? ALSO this sussy ass partnership w this man liiiiiioke…)
* they seemed to care more ab carmys failing and anticlimactic relationship with claire than marcus’s late mother (ALSO I couldn’t help but notice SYDNEY was the only one, THE ONLY ONE who came to support this man as they were cleaning his mom’s hospice equipment out of his house…LIKE YALL HAVE NOTHING TO DO COME HELP??? like okay they came to his funeral which I appreciate y’know but still that part irks me)
* ts feels like filler at its finest somebody already said that but I felt like it had to be restated, like if CLAIRE YO
* IF CLAIRE IS THE MAIN DAMN PLOT POINT FOR THIS NIGGA CARMY RN AND IS THE ONE DRIVING HIM TO DO ALL THIS CRAZY NONNEGOTIABLE SHIT TO GET HIS MIND OFF OF IT IM DONE
* okay I’m done thank y’all for listening
* also I’m writing this on my notes app so I just copied it over
*ok bye y’all ty for listening !!! :3
UPDATE: I just read a few posts on here giving different perspectives and now I feel like I might’ve missed some stuff 😭
like maybe this is just setting it up to LOOK LIKE syd and carmy aren’t ever happening just to make season 4 and have them
idk how to even end that sentence
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bartonbones · 12 days ago
Note
for thr asks, carmy 🙂‍↕️ and 22
carmy my beloved omg thank u for the ask!!!
22. If you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don’t like?
for carmy i think what i like most in fics is when they get his neurosis right without him being like too maudlin or wooby...carmy is a guy with a decent amount of humor, even if it's quiet/understated. like he has a tattoo of a snail that says "live fast"...he has some sense of joy and whimsy and art even if it's sometimes hard for him to access that or share it with other people. and he's kind, and thoughtful, and cares about people, even if he fucks up sometimes. like i think carmy has a very well thought out and interesting inner logic, everything he does and the way he reacts to things makes sense for him, he's not like this blunt weapon of fucking up and screaming at people, he's not even really unpredictable. so when i read a fic that really captures his trauma and flaws while still balancing that with a sense of humor, kindness, and integrity, they're like so special to me and precious.
bear market blue by threesmallcrows (while being a sort of au/different interpretation of canon events) is one of my favorite fics for this reason and also does another thing i really love in fic and miss about s1 of the bear where it gets a little funky/magical with the structure (s1 nightmare talking video game fire motif hallucination sleep walking magical realism, you will ALWAYS be famous) this scene is a great example of that and something i am always striving to half-do when i'm writing for carmy
Sydney wheels on him and for a glorious moment he thinks she’s going to stab him. He sees it from above, floating in midair, like they’re two actors on the world’s shittiest tiniest stage: BERZATTO: [Says some fucked up shit.] SYDNEY: [Enduring, teary-eyed. Hoping to reach his better nature?] BERZATTO: [Inexcusable language. Continual atrocious dogshit behavior.] SYDNEY [Enraged, rising to his taunt? Fulfilling his innermost desire? Or just really, really over his bullshit?]: [Runs him through with the kitchen knife. Blood coats the blade, dark, syrupy looking. Put that in a saucepan, high heat, boil. Might make a nice reduction.] [A happy ending!] CURTAIN Sydney puts the knife down, saying, “Here comes the bear.” It knocks him right out of it. “What?” They stare at one another. BERZATTO: [Going fully insane]. “What di, d-, did you just…?” “The bear,” she repeats. “Attack mode. Like, raughh.” Making one of her little hands into a claw.  She’s plastic-wrapping her dish as she talks, swaddling it in Glad as tenderly as an infant: “I’m a person, Carm. There’s a human being in front of you. And you can treat me like a human being, and act like a human being, or you can, you can go to the fucking zoo. Your choice.”
anyway read that fic i love it so much and thank u for the ask i will always be happy to talk about my most specialist blorbo of all time !!
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thomasshelbydrabbles · 1 year ago
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Everything’s a Negotiation (8/?)
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Pairing: Modern!Tommy Shelby x OC, Modern!Alfie Solomons x OC
Warnings: series typical violence, language, sexual situations, possessive behavior, consensual public sexual situations
Summary: Mac decides to take the train up north, per Sydney’s suggestion. What she hadn’t expected was company during the ride.
Word Count: 4039
A/N: Let me know if you would like added to the tag list.
Mac considered ordering a taxi to get her to the train station, but still thought her best chance of getting out of town unnoticed by the gangsters of London would be public transport. It wasn’t that she thought they couldn’t find her, but more her belief that they would be less likely to cause a scene on the tube. Leaving town mid-week meant slightly less foot traffic. No matter how many times they’d ridden the tube, Mac still found herself surprised that Zeus truly enjoyed it. There were always a lot of people for him to make friends with, even more smells for him to enjoy, but she had wondered if all of it would be a bit too much. He sat leaning against her legs as they rode the Northern line towards Euston station. A young girl with pigtails glanced up at her.
“Can I pet your doggie?” 
Mac smiled, glanced up at the adult standing with the young girl. “He’s friendly, but it’s your choice.” 
She watched the girl look pleadingly up at the woman. Mac smiled to herself because that’s exactly how Zeus looked at her when he wanted something, and since he always wanted something, it was the main expression on his furry little face. When the woman nodded her okay Mac smiled down at the girl and knelt down next to Zeus. 
“This is Zeus,” she said as she scruffed his muzzle. “He loves to make friends. And if you pet here behind his ears, he’ll be your friend and might even try to lick your face.” 
At Euston station, Mac waved goodbye to the young girl as she and Zeus made their way to the platform. She’d gotten good at navigating with the dog and her small roller bag, but she still had to deal with people knocking into her, grumbling until they saw Zeus. She found an uncrowded section of the station and pulled Zeus over to sit while she pulled up the ticket on her mobile. Walking towards the first-class cars, she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching her. Of course, she figured Tommy had some of his people watching her, but now she wondered if Alfie did, too. Were they to just watch and report, or would one of them try to stop her from boarding the train? Pulling Zeus in a bit closer, she hoped they’d leave her be. No need to start a scene at the train station, but she would. 
“Ticket?”
She smiled as she showed the host her mobile. 
“Pleasure to have you aboard today, Miss Theil. Can I help with your luggage?” 
Mac nodded as she passed off her roller bag. She got Zeus settled into the car before setting up her laptop at a table near the window. 
“Can I get you something to drink before we depart?”
“G&T, please.” 
Just as the server left, Mac felt a wet tongue against her hand. Thinking it was Zeus demanding treats for his good behavior on public transport, she smiled before reaching down to scratch behind his ears. However, the fur beneath her hand did not belong to her dog. 
“Well hello, sir,” she greeted the giant mut standing next to her, tail wagging. “Aren’t you just adorable?” 
“Cyril, you fuckin’ menace come ‘ere.” 
At the sound of Alfie’s voice, both Mac and Cyril looked to see him striding into the car. Adeline frowned as she shook her head. She’d been right that one of them would come find her. Since Alfie was the one on the train, she imagined it wouldn’t be long before whatever minions Tommy had tailing her would report back to him about this most recent development. Would he just show up when she got settled in Lancaster? Or maybe, he’d stew on it. Be waiting for her when she came back to London. Neither option pleased her. 
“Seems the dog isn’t the only one who’s a menace,” Mac said as she stood from her seat. 
Alfie grinned at her. She didn’t want to like the way he looked at her. She did. In fact, she found herself preening a bit under his gaze. The small smile on his face gave a youthful, almost playful air to him. She could almost feel the way his neatly trimmed beard would feel against her skin, the way his plump lips would linger on hers, teasing. Startling her from her daydream, one which, given the knowing look on Alfie’s face she’d been caught in, Zeus came trotting over, tongue hanging out as he moved to sniff at Cyril in greeting. The dogs seemed pleased enough with each other’s company and wandered off to the far side of the car to become the best of dog friends. Mac fought down the urge to call Zeus back to her side. The empty first-class car suddenly felt increasingly small. What was it about these men? Mac found it quite rude that they took up all the oxygen, all the space, as though forcing her to devote her entire focus to them.     
Not that calling Zeus would have helped because Alfie swept her into his arms and captured her lips in a kiss before she’d really even come to terms with him being with her on the train. He was so warm. Like a heated blanket on a cold winter day. His hands spanned most of her back, his large fingers pressed into her, holding her tightly against his chest. She brought her hands up, intending to push him away, but instead, they wrapped around his neck, brushed along the nape of his neck, feeling the smooth, silky texture of his hair beneath her fingers. Since he’d taken all the oxygen with his presence, returning some to her was the least he could do. She sighed as she gave herself over to the feel of him, the way he ignited butterflies in her stomach. He, of course, took advantage of this and dipped his tongue into her mouth, chasing the taste of her. 
The door to the car opened.
Her drink. 
She broke the kiss, his arms stayed wrapped around her, keeping her close to his body. His hands settled on her hips, thumbs stroking along her hip teasingly. A blush bloomed on her cheeks as the host set her drink on the table. She tucked her face against Alfie’s neck, ignoring the way his body shook with silent laughter. Reaching down, she pinched his ass, which caused his whole body to sway forward against hers. The feel of his hard cock had her breath caught in her throat. Through the material of his slacks, through the fabric of her jeans, he still felt…impressive. Long and thick. She groaned as he rolled his hips forward again, teasing her. Testing her. 
Alfie’s hands slid up her body, fingers grazing the side of her neck causing her to shiver. His hands cradled her face, thumbs caressed her jaw as he tilted her face up. 
“What are you doing here, Alfie?”
“Innit obvious, pet? Thought me holding you in me arms and kissin’, yeah, kissin’ your gorgeous face would be a bit obvious, right?” 
Given how her own arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and her lips still tingled from where his beard rubbed against her face when he’d kissed her, then yes, what he came here to do did seem fairly obvious. She still felt as though she’d wake up, find the train gliding along the tracks. Perhaps fan herself a bit, and then go back to her real life. 
“Tell me you didn’t get on a train just to give me a kiss.”
Instead of answering, he lowered his face, connecting their lips again in a kiss that was slow, sensuous - as though he literally had all the time in the world to stand here on a train and kiss her senseless. Again, she fell into it, her body molding to his as her hands moved from his shoulders up to his hair. Her fingers sunk into it. The thick strands wrapped around her fingers as she tugged him closer to her. Her whole body fit in the shadow of his, his broad shoulders made her feel small, delicate. 
This time it was Alfie who pulled back first. His fingers combed through her hair before tucking it behind her ear. 
“My family, we’re bakers. Going back generations, baking bread. Brown bread, white bread…loaves and loaves of it. Now, that’s not all that interesting since many people, yeah, many people can bake bread, but what it does mean, pet, is that I’m good with me hands, right, very good with ‘em.”
As he spoke, Alfie moved around her body. His hands began kneading her shoulders, down her arms, around to the small of her back. A low moan passed her lips as he dug his fingers into her muscles, loosening them even as other parts of her tightened in response. She felt as much as heard his laugh along her spine, his breath warm on her neck. 
“Know you’ve been feeling a bit of stress, a bit of stress these past few weeks, pet. Some of it caused by me and that’s bad, right, bad of me. So I’m here, right, I’m here to apologize for my behavior in your office,” Alfie whispered, his lips teasing along her neck.  
“You always apologize like this?”
He chuckled, low, masculine - the sound had her vibrating. “No, pet. I don’t make it a habit of apologizin’. See, men in my line of work, right, my particular business, can’t be seen apologizin’ for things because it allows people to get ideas, see, stupid fuckin’ ideas about me, about my nature.”
Mac groaned as she arched like a cat under his hands. “And what exactly am I meant to understand about your nature, Alfie?” 
“You, pet? I did not like the way we left things in your office, not a bit. I know it’s mostly my fault because I’m a man accustomed to things going the way I want them, see, and when they don’t, well…” 
Alfie’s hands had moved back up to her shoulders. She could imagine him baking bread, could almost see him stood in the kitchen, apron around his waist, kneading the dough with his big hands. Her shoulders began to relax as he continued to weave a magic spell over her body. 
“If the whole gangs of London thing don’t work out for you, I’d be your first customer at your massage place.”
“You forgive me, pet?”
Mac’s head rolled forward as Alfie’s thumbs dug into her trapezius. It wasn’t fair. She’d agree to anything right now, and…
With a great degree of reluctance, she slowly drew away from his hands, and turned to face him. 
“Why are you here, Alfie?” 
“Work for me.” 
“No.” 
Mac looked around the empty car, brow furrowed. “How is the car this empty? Not that I mind because that would have been quite a show for anyone who might have been in here, and I’m not about giving folks a free show. But it is odd.” 
“Bought the whole car when I found out that you’d purchased a first-class ticket for yourself because I did not want us to be disturbed. We have business to discuss, pet, and I thought it best we be alone for it, yeah?”
“And all the bread-making you did when you walked in?”
Alfie smiled. Damn. She wanted to hate it. But. Just like Tommy that smile was her undoing. Made him seem like a friendly teddy bear. Of course, she knew both he and Tommy would bite, but she’d never been good at learning lessons the easy way. Given how flustered they both made her, she did find it a bit of a miracle that they both continued to be so keen on having her work for them. Certainly, the could go to another firm and find a woman who could refrain from becoming a needy ball of sexual tension. 
“I told you, pet, that was an apology from me to you for my poor manners in your office. My words, right, they upset you that day, and I found myself not liking, right, not liking that my words had upset you.” 
“Now that you’re done apologizing to me, you want me to work for you.” 
“Yes.” 
Mac reached for her G&T and took a long swallow. She grimaced because a lot of the ice had melted, and she hated how watery it had become. Still, she gulped it down like it might be the last drop of gin this side of the Atlantic. 
“Are you and Tommy always like this?” Mac paused, brought a finger to her chin. “Although, I can’t imagine you make out with everyone you want to do business with. Both because I’d feel much less special and because that just seems like a lot of work for you. I’ve explained why it would be a foolish decision to work for either of you. Yet, both of you seem to think you can change my mind by seducing me, and while I’m flattered, and more than a bit overwhelmed, I value my business. As a businessman yourself, I’m sure you can understand my position.” 
“I do understand.” 
“Then what the fuck, Alfie?”
Her tone drew Zeus’ attention, and soon both dogs had trotted over to where they stood nose to nose. She felt Zeus lick her fingers and she reached down to scratch behind his ears. She wanted another drink. Actually, she wanted to sit down in that chair near the window, put in her earbuds and listen to her true crime, guilty pleasure, podcast. 
“Write the contracts in your benefit, pet. You’re clever, and ruthless - I know what you took from Ollie that day,” Alfie said with a wink. “Write them up in such a way that it’s deleterious to either myself or Mister Shelby to betray each other.”
Mac knew her jaw had to be on the ground. He couldn’t possibly have just said that to her.
“What, like bloody primary school? I send you off to the corner when you decided you can’t share the crayons anymore?”
“A bit like that,” Alfie said slowly, his hand stroked his beard. “It is a bit like that, yeah. Because men like me and Thomas Shelby, right, we just can’t help ourselves, pet. And we need, we need someone to provide the boundaries. And in return we make you a wealthy woman, keep you safe.”
She laughed. A great involuntary sound. It had a manic note to it she thought appropriate for the situation, if a bit dramatic. “I swear it’s like you two read the same script. I don’t need money, Alfie. And if it weren’t for you both, I’d not need protecting.” 
“Pet - ”
Mac held a hand up to stop whatever nonsense would come out of his mouth next and took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s pretend for a moment that I’ve gone mad, and I’m entertaining this ridiculous idea of yours. Let’s say I have my team of highly paid, very, very nasty barristers draw up a contract that gives you little worms no room to wriggle, one that makes me the queen of fucking everything you bastards own if you so much as glance at the other’s crayons with ill intent. I do that. I have it drawn up. Everyone signs in blood. Everyone’s happy. Until. Until one of you decides that happy is boring. Men like you, Alfie, men like Tommy - you just get bored, don’t you. Just exactly like bloody toddlers, and when you get bored, you break things. But, now, you’ve got this fancy contract that makes me the last man standing. So instead of breaking toys, you break me instead.” 
She paused. Met his eyes. He had a good poker face. It wasn’t cold and aloof like Tommy. It was just vacant. Like he’d gone somewhere else in his mind. 
“I know how that scenario ends, Alfie.”
“If,” Alfie began slowly. “If there came a time that Thomas and I decided our little agreement, right, our promise to each other, to you, no longer worked for us, right, by the time that happened, Thomas Shelby would be so in love with you that he’d not have you killed, pet. Couldn’t do it.” 
Mac ignored the way her heart beat a bit faster at the thought of Tommy being in love with her. Given how he’d responded when Rodney had shown up to her flat, and the way he’d had Michael escort her immediately to him when all Hank had done was cause her a bit of emotional upset, she could see it. What startled her the most was realizing she could imagine herself loving him back. Veering sharply away from that line of thought, she instead focused on what Alfie didn’t say.
“And you, Mister Solomons? Would you be ‘so in love with me’ that you’d not have me killed?”
The silence hung between them. She couldn’t even be angry about it because she knew. He’d told her that day in her office. Forever wasn’t a promise Alfie Solomons could offer to her. Instead, she got massages and promises of Fabergé Eggs. Perhaps giving the order to see her killed would be difficult for him. Maybe he’d even consider a course of action that didn’t end with her lifeless body in a nice pine box. Yet she knew Alfie. At least, she knew the type. Business would come first. And in the end, when it all went tits up, that’s all she would be…a loose end that needed to be tied up. All in service of business. 
She nodded. “I believe we have reached an impasse, Mister Solomons.” 
“Perhaps not,” Alfie said.
Mac didn’t like the serious tone he used. So many thoughts flashed through her mind. 
“Ollie, small thing that he is, found somethin’ useful. Not that he meant to, no. Hurt his feelings you did that day. He went lookin’ for somethin’ to use against you, but you’re good at your job, Miss Theil, very good at your job, yeah, so he couldn't find anything. Moped around like a child. For days. Like a fuckin’ child. Then, one day, he comes into me office excited as I’ve ever seen him, and he learned something about you, pet, about your family.” 
Mac stiffened. Beside her, Zeus stood, moved to a guard position in front of her. 
“None of that, pet. I’m not here to harm you, no. But your family, an uncle of yours I believe, goes by Hank, and what a fucking stupid name that is, but very Gentile, yes, very fucking Gentile that name, Hank. Well, it appears that he has recently made some business purchases that you might find interesting. Thames Security and Clover have been purchased, and see these names, pet, they seemed familiar. I’d seen them before on that nice list your office sent me the first time you told me no. Both companies were on the top of that list.”
Mac stumbled a bit. Alfie reached out and steadied her, hands warm on her skin. She wanted to push him away, but she didn’t want to fall on her ass, so she leaned into him. Felt his fingers card through her hair. Damn him. Damn them all. Why did it have to feel so good? 
“He doesn’t have the capital for that kind of move,” Mac said as she pulled back. “He’s old money, but he relies on the reputation of that name, of the fucking gentry politics more than any sort of funding. He’s not broke, but those are large companies, strong companies. How the fuck did he get that kind of money?” 
“Before you jump to conclusions because I know my actions might have you thinking foolishness, I didn’t give your uncle, right, I did not give that man any money. Not a bloody pence of my money went to him. Ollie dug up the court documents, right, the documents containing information about his atrocious behavior and the things that he said to you, the fucking words he spoke in a court of law about you. Ollie found those and gave them to me. I read them. Yes, I read them, and you are a good person, pet, a fucking good person for not having him killed for what he said, and for what he did to you, to your family.” 
She couldn’t breathe. Zeus whimpered, nudged her with his nose. When had the walls gotten so close to her? Hadn’t there been windows in this car? Hank’s smug, bloated face hovered in front of her, little grin tugging his thin, mustached lips. Mac squeezed her eyes closed, but Hank only grew larger. There wasn’t enough air in the room. She couldn't feel the tips of her fingers. Couldn’t breathe. 
Warm fingers on her face gently stroking her cheek. A broad hand on her chest. Her own hand pressed against a warm body. She could feel a steady thump, thump, thump beneath her fingers. 
“Breathe with me, pet.” 
She knew the voice. Knew it would keep her safe. She tried to do as he said. Kept her hand against his chest, took a breath in through her nose, released it through her mouth. 
Blinking slowly, she forced her eyes open. Alfie knelt on the ground in front of her, eyes tracking her movements, concern etched into her face. She hated how weak her family made her. The panic attacks started when her uncle first brought the suit against her. They increased as litigation continued. Thankfully, she’d never had one in front of him. It was bad enough that both Tommy and now Alfie had seen her have one. She knew men like them shouldn't have this kind of power over her. As Alfie said, Tommy might grow to love her enough for it not to matter, but Alfie would always be a wild card. 
“Give me a reason for him to keep breathing, pet. This uncle of yours deserves a shallow grave, pet, not worth wasting the work of a proper burial.” 
“He’s not worth it.” 
“Bollocks.” 
Mac laughed. The noise startled her. Now, though she had a problem. Alfie had leverage. And now Hank was making moves that made little sense to her. This all might lead to her needing the protection Tommy and Alfie could offer to her firm. She doubted any respectable lender would front Hank the money, gentry or not. Even more so, she knew the owners of both companies. They had no reason to sell. She sighed. 
“Birmingham New Street.”
She’d not noticed the chime for any of the other stops. In her defense, she’d been highly distracted by a man she figured practiced distracting folks daily. 
“That’s me, pet. You’ve the rest of the ride to yourself. Bought the car out as far as Lancaster, so you’ll not be disturbed. I’ll ‘ave them bring you another drink, right, another one when I get me and Cyril off.” 
She nodded mechanically. 
“Think about my offer. Do your research, right, figure out what that worm of an uncle of yours is doing, yeah, and make a plan. Be clever.” 
“I can’t exactly say thank you and mean it, but I’m glad I know now.” 
Alfie nodded. “Fair enough, pet.” 
He pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek. It didn’t so much feel like a goodbye, which is what she’d expected. Instead, it felt like a placeholder. As though he’d simply pressed pause on their…bread making. 
When the door closed behind him, she fell heavily into the chair. Zeus sat near her feet, his head resting in her lap, eyes staring up at her. She scratched behind his ears.
“I have no idea what we’re going to do, buddy.” 
The door opened again, and she just about expected to see Alfie again, maybe even Tommy. Thankfully, it was just the host carrying a tray with another G&T and a charcuterie board. Just as it was set down on the table near her, her stomach let out a loud growl. She chuckled to herself. Damn the gangsters in her life. Damn them all.
Master List
Tag List: @allie131313​  @highgardenrosexx​   @stevie75​   @polishcrazyone​
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upwards-descent · 1 year ago
Text
Good News
"I'm coming, I'm coming!"
Adithi yelled at the phone as if it could hear her or stop ringing by voice command alone. She plucked up the landline from the receiver and made sure she sounded as warm and hospitable as possible.
"Thank you for calling the Joshi residence, this is Adithi speaking, how may I help you?"
The other line was quiet for a moment and her brow furrowed in confusion. Had the caller hung up already? Before she could repeat her greeting, a familiar voice finally spoke up.
"Hey, sorry, as soon as I dialed something came up."
"Ah, Vikkie, so nice for you to call," A big smile crossed Adithi's face immediately. It was always a treat when her only child called out of nowhere. "Do you need something, meri jaan?" 
"I've got huge news, mama, I'm hoping you're gonna freak as much as I think you are."
"Uh huh, tell me then, so I may 'freak' over it."
Vikram went quiet again. There was a little shuffling, the clink of metal on metal. Finally, he piped up again, his voice soft.
"... He said he loves me back."
Adithi went silent, eyes wide, heart pounding. For some unknown reason, she glanced at the clock on the wall, maybe to confirm that this was real and she wasn't dreaming. 
"Who said so, Vikkie?" She asked, just to be safe.
"Remember I was telling you guys about my assistant? Otto, the uh. Y'know. The robot. He uhm. He said he loves me back."
Even if he sounded nervous, Adithi knew her son well. She could hear the smile in his tone, practically feel the anxiously excited energy radiating off of him and through the phone. There was a delay to her reaction in kind but as soon as she found her voice, she used it.
"Vikkie!!!" She squealed, almost jumping in place, she was so amped. "Ohh, that's wonderful! You have to bring him over as soon as possible for dinner--" She turned her mouth away from the receiver to yell down the hall. "Yuvraj!!! Do you still have the number for those cleaners? This house must be SPOTLESS for when Vikkie visits next!"
"Did something happen?" Yuvraj called back from his office. "Good news?"
"VERY good news!" Adithi's attention shifted rapidly back to her son. "Oh, this is so amazing!!!"
"Called it," Vikram sounded adorably smug. "No big rush though, okay? Otto doesn't have a digestive system but I'm making him one from scratch so he can enjoy your cooking."
Adithi felt tears peck at her eyes. No wonder her son cried so damn much, he got it from her.
"You're building this man a stomach and such just to eat our food?" She sniffled.
"Aiiie, mama, it's okay, don't cry! I've been wanting to since I first got him but you guys definitely motivated me. He's gotta have baba's vindaloo."
"You are absolutely right, Vikkie," Adithi nodded like a soldier, her tears vanishing as she got serious. "I'll have to go shopping, get some really good tea, and make the best cookies. I've got my work cut out for me."
"Glad I could add some excitement to your guys' retirement," Vikram laughed, bright and full and his mother felt another pang of delight. It was always so nice when he sounded happy. "I'll give you guys a heads up once I'm ready, 'kay? Gotta make sure whatever he eats doesn't wind up melting his circuits or some shit."
"You tell us right away, okay? This is serious."
"Of course, mama! You two are top priority, always. I gotta go now, work stuff. Love you!"
"Love you, too, Vikkie." Adithi smacked a loud kiss against the receiver, hearing one last bubbly laugh before her son hung up.
Yuvraj toddled out of his office shortly after, holding up his latest project. 
"Ooh, is that the Lego Sydney Opera house?" Adithi shook her head with passion, physically dusting off the distraction. "Yuvraj! Our son is in love and his loved one loves him back!"
"Of course he does," Yuvraj scoffed, moving to set the plastic architecture down. "Anyone our Vikkie sets his sights on will come to love him, easy. I'm not surprised."
"You could at least act excited about it," Adithi huffed before she went to fetch her grandmother's cookbook. "Vikkie wants you to make him-- make Otto your vindaloo."
"Ooh. Okay," Now Yuvraj looked interested. "We'll have to go shopping."
Adithi only laughed. Great minds think alike.
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venillopewrites · 1 year ago
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Hi I hope you're well. I was just wondering if there were any new updates you could give us?
If not, what about any non spoilery fun facts for this or your other project?
Actually Idk if you started working on it yet but if so, How's the other project going? All I saw was animals and got excited.
Hello love! I'm doing good, winding down from the summer excitement and preparing my home for my favorite autumn season 🍂 My neighbors are getting increasingly worried about my pumpkin collection.
I do have some minor updates for you! Nothing to warrant an entire post, but small successes are also successes!
For example, the personality aspect of the prologue has passed quick testing! Now every action has an appropriate reaction somewhere in the text, no matter how small. I so enjoy flavor text 💫 (I added like 2k words of flavor text. Oops, but not really)
The naming shenanigans for the Parasite has been fun. There's some easter eggs there, depending on what you decide to name it! (ie. Venom, which no doubt will be popular) Of course all of these aliens from media have faded from human memory between 2023 and 2974, but that won't stop me from writing some general and vaguely snarky responses.
Bonus scene for this week was the very first "death" scene. Not that the MC can die this early in the game, but I'll switch to the Parasite's POV as a lil treat for both you and me 😌 It's very exasperated about the whole ordeal of its human meat bag going *windows shutting down*.
Focusing heavily on the stat page now too, and boy is it fun. There's even (placeholder) graphics! Both literary and numerical relationship stats, yay! Shiba will be the only one who even remotely likes MC in the beginning of the game, the others are either indifferent (Parasite), wary (N.) or downright hostile (E.)
There are a lot of fun tidbits from both games, but let's do TEP for now.
Did you know organized religion no longer exists in 2974? The only thing remaining are obscure records on the intranets and crumbling, forgotten infrastructure hidden deep within the oldest parts of the Pens. Cults though, those you'll find in abundance!
The metropolitan city has a name, but no one really uses it. The three districts (the Aureum, the Hub, and the Pens) are the biggest districts within the city of Arca. There are more, but no one really pays mind to those. Like suburbs that have nothing happening to be honest.
All but four planets (the four exceptions being Neptune, Jupiter, Uranus, Saturn) in the solar system are inhabited by humans. Mercury is an industrial behemoth, and only houses mines, factories, and factory workers. Venus is a resort planet, but just for the richest of people who can afford it. Very bougie. Mars is a settled planet with similar massive cityscapes as Earth, but they're very much shielded under massive domes. Pluto is a prison. Many moons/natural satellites also have colonies, because humans are too many and need space.
One of those inhabited moons kinda went kablooey in 2430. RIP people who lived on Rhea.
While the future has many great technologies, humans haven't dabbled in android business yet. There are some trials on extinct animals though, but those have all been failures.
Animals only exist in zoos. The planet is too barren and crowded to house any natural animals. Sad, but no one really cares since they don't go outside the city limits on foot anyway.
Oh wee, that was a lot of loredropping, huh? Hope it gives a bit of an insight to the world!
Now the other project is in outlining stages, but I can name drop some NPCs/RO's for you 😉 They're all set in their genders too which will help me with coding.
Anyway, here's them and their respective emojis.
Kit 🐻‍❄️🐧
Olivia 🐬🦈
Dallas 🐊🐍
Mason 🦁🐯
Harper 🦚🦜
Sydney 🩺🐾
Oh, and the villain 💵🏗️, duh.
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ninacarstairss · 2 years ago
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hello cece!!!
how are you my dear? i hope these past few days have treated you kindly. it’s been two days and i’ve missed you. as promised, here is a little recap of my trip!!
before my trip though, i took myself out on a date! i caught the tram all the way down the line and went shopping by myself. i bought a grand total of seventeen books :) (my arms were very sore) in one of the bookstores i went into, they have this thing where you can buy them wrapped, so it adds a bit of mystery. all you know about it is the hints and descriptions written on the paper. curiosity got the better of me, and i bought two. i also managed to find a lot of classics, including two works of oscar wilde, i hadn’t seen before. now i just need to buy myself a new bookshelf next time i go out…
so my trip! i went to sydney with a friend. i’ve never been before, and honestly, it’s pretty alright. i don’t think i could live there or go for any longer than i did, but it wasn’t too bad, considering all the bad things i have heard about it. we went initially for a concert on the saturday, but we were like “hey we may as well stay the friday night too.”
cece, when i say i had the best japanese i’ve ever had in my entire life on friday night, i mean it. we had gyozas, karaage chicken and a spicy pork ramen. i wished i could have finished it all, it was so delicious. we had to wait for a table for maybe half an hour, but it was sooo worth it. afterwards, we had their green tea ice cream, which was incredible. i would send you a cone!
the concert started at 7pm on the saturday, so we had the day to kill. we met up with my friend’s brother and his partner, and they took us around to their fav places. we went into the gayest cafe i have ever been to in my entire life. not one person in that building was cishet. rainbows were EVERYWHERE. the entrance was painted rainbow, little rainbow flags were hanging out the windows, they had the cute collectable spoons. it was adorable. we had paninis and tea, and i had never felt so at home.
after we ate, we went into this shopping centre into the coolest little bookstore. i bought two books and a little pin. i restrained myself, i was so proud. i was served by a person with the coolest mullet (i mustered the courage to tell them and they were so sweet). we also went to the lego store (i bought lego sunflowers for my friend’s birthday), it was just a really fun time
now the concert. i have never been to a concert before, but it was so so so fun. we had the best seats you could get without vip, and i’m talking perfect view of the stage. i was so tired after, but in a good way
well, now i am home and i’m so happy i went on that trip. i needed the break from work and uni, and i have another trip coming up too, so i should be less stressed throughout the semester :))
now, tell me how you’ve been, what you’ve been up to, i love hearing about your day :( sending you a big hug <3
Hello Nero!! <3
i’m sorry i’m late to answer, but i was on a little trip too actually!! and i’ve missed you so much in these few days!! i’ve missed out letters!!
oh my god nero!!! that date sounds amazing!!! i love that kind of me time so much!! and i mean, you got out of the shop with 17 books?? that’s literally the best way to spend a day!!! and i love those wrapped books where you can’t really know much about what’s inside, it’s so awesome when you get home and you unwrap them 🥺 and all the classics!! you’re definitely gonna need a new bookshelf but i’m guessing it’s gonna be worth it for all these new books!!
wait does sydney have a bad reputation?? i didn’t know this! but i’m really glad you liked it, even if not for more than a few days 😅 and it seems fair, i guess it’s a really big and chaotic city so it can’t be easy to live there.
but that japanese, oh my god i’m craving some too now!! it sounds sooo good!! i haven’t had japanese in so long, especially the green tea ice cream, and now i really really crave a cone, so i would gladly accept that one!!
nero i swear, every time you talk about these little cafes you go to you make me want to book a plane ticket to australia to come try all of them. and this one sounds so awesome!! gosh i wish i was there too to see all the rainbows and feel at home!!! it honestly sounds like the perfect queer cafe!!! why don’t i have something like that here too?? 😭 the urge to book a plane ticket is getting really strong, i’m not even kidding
nero i’m so proud of you, two books and a pin is so little!! i wish i had that kind of restraint. and what kind of pin did you get?? (i’m sorry i just have an obsession for pins). also, that is so sweet!! and now i’m picturing them with the coolest mullet, thank you for this mental image 😻
it really does sound like the best time!! the lego store also sounds so nice, i’ve never seen lego sunflowers but it sounds like the cutest birthday present 🥺
and the concert!!! your first concert is always the coolest experience!! definitely tiring too, but i’m so happy you had fun!! and the seats seem perfect!! i’ve never been to a concert where i had seats, i’ve always had parterre, but i’m so happy you could see the stage that well!! and who did you go see?? (if you want to say of course!)
uhh another trip? that’s great!! you deserve some little breaks like this with all that stress from uni and work!! i’m so glad you had fun and hope your next trip is as good as this one!!! <33
so as i said i was on a little trip too! i went to budapest, it was kind of a last minute holiday, but i had a lot of fun!! i’d already seen the city a few years ago but i loved it so much i was happy to go back. we just spent a few days there so we didn’t get to see the whole city, because it’s really big, but i’m still really glad i got to see some of my favorite places again!!
also, i went with my mum, who doesn’t speak english at all, so i was supposed to be in charge and talk all the time, and i was so worried because i can never talk to people, but i did it!! i managed to walk into restaurants and ask for a table or ask people for directions and stuff like that and everyone was just so nice!!
we went to the bastion which is my absolute favorite place and you can see the whole city from there, and we also did a little cruise on the danube at night so we could see all the city lit up and it was awesome!! and i got to eat some of that amazing food again!! they have a lot of fried and spicy stuff that is soooo good. i wish i could send you some of that too because honestly it’s amazing!!
i got back last night and now i’m super tired because of all the walking in the city but i’m glad i went too, it was a really nice trip!!
i’m sending you a big big hug and a forehead kiss <33
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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago
Text
Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles (part 5)
uh ohh, part 5 baby! im quite enjoying this story so far and i have some fun things planned for it, so i hope you’ll stay with me for them! in today’s part, our fav new celeb couple takes it all the way, though i chose not to include the actual sex part, however im still treating you all with some dirty stuff so enjoy!
pairing: Harry x actress!reader
word count: 4.6k
warning: NSFW content
SERIES MASTERPOST
masterlist
Tumblr media
New couple alert?
Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N have been spotted having lunch and grabbing coffee several times in the course of the past few weeks. All the outings looked casual and friendly, they gladly stopped for fans that approached them and the word has it that they’ve been getting closer to each other, though neither of them confirmed anything.
Harry Styles has been known to be single for a while now, only faint rumors swirling up sometimes, but none of them were proven to be true, the young actress is the first woman he has been linked to in a long time. Y/N Y/L/N has been focusing on her blooming career and has been single since her split from long time exboyfriend and fellow actor, Levi Hudson. The pair dated all through 2018, splitting in the beginning of 2019. Hudson has admitted their hectic schedules made it impossible to maintain their relationship while Y/N did not confirm anything.
Styles is going on his world-wide tour soon, while Y/L/N is currently between two projects. The young celebs seem to be enjoying each other’s company and fans have been quick to jump into speculations about their alleged romance, however there is no evidence as of right now.
“Thank you so much for your time, it was a pleasure to talk to you,” the young interviewer smiles at you, holding her hand out and you shake it with a warm smile.
“Thank you for having me! And I really like your shoes, by the way,” you point down at her electric blue pumps that you’ve been eyeing since the start of the interview.
“Oh, thank you! Got them from a vintage store,” she beams, a slight blush playing on her cheeks clearly a little starstruck from your compliment.
“Love those little stores.”
“Me too,” she giggles collecting her papers and notes. “Someone will contact you and your team soon about the photoshoot and I’ll email you a draft of the interview in about a week.”
“That’s perfect, thank you so much,” you nod at her grabbing your purse from the side table next to you. Grabbing your phone from the depth of it you smile to yourself upon seeing the text from Harry.
“Call me when you’re done with the interview Xx.”
You say your goodbye to everyone before heading out of the building. Lawrence is at the front waiting for you in the car and he greets you with a warm smile when you sit into the backseat. As he starts the car and heads back to your home, you call Harry, who picks it up after the second ring.
“Hey! How was the interview?” he beams brightly, his voice immediately making you smile.
“Great! This young girl did it and she had some exciting questions.”
“Sounds lovely. Can’t wait to buy a Cosmopolitan with you on the cover soon,” he says and you can hear the grin through his voice.
“Will look good in your hands for sure,” you chuckle.
“Right. So I have a question for you.”
“Go for it.”
“I’m doing this very small show at Beacon Theater this weekend, kind of a practice before the real tour begins and I was wondering if you’d be up to come. Would love to have you there.”
“When is it exactly?”
“Saturday at nine. I know it’s a short notice and I get it if you have something else going on, just wanted to ask.”
“I think I can make it work,” you smile, thinking back at what your day looks like on Saturday. “Can I bring someone?”
“Of course! Just let me know how many people so I can have the tickets sent over to you.”
“Thank you. It’s sweet of you to think about me.”
“You know I always think about you,” he murmurs and his voice sends a shiver down your spine. Crazy to think how much he can affect you with just his words, he just has a special spell on you, it seems.
“Still such a flirt, I see,” you chuckle, feeling your cheeks heating up as you hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line.
“For you, always.”
“Alright. I’ll text you about the tickets and thank you again. Can’t wait to see you perform finally.”
“It’s been due for a while now, right? Kind of promised you some tickets on Ellen, if I remember correctly.”
“You did!” you laugh thinking back at the time you met him. How funny that just one short game on a talk show led the two of you here. You have to thank Ellen though.
“Now I’m finally keeping my promise. Talk to you later then, Love. Have a great day.”
“You too, Harry.”
 You manage to convince Sydney to join you for the concert, she sounds excited when you ask if she had anything to do on Saturday. Seeing Harry perform before his tour kicks off is a thrill for her she wouldn’t pass on for anything, so she is really grateful that you thought of her as your plus one.
Harry has your passes sent over to your place on Friday and it comes with a bouquet of flowers as well as a card.
“Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. What’s your favorite song? I’ll make sure to perform it just for you. –H”
He never fails to make you feel like the only woman on the planet and you can definitely see why so many fall for him even without meeting him. The man has all the power to charm anyone with just a smile.
You put the flowers into a vase and leave them on your dining table before grabbing your phone and sending him a quick text.
“It’s Only Angel,” you simply write, hoping he’ll get it why you just wrote that. Luckily, he does.
“Straight to the setlist. Dedicated to You.”
 Finishing up the last touches to your makeup you bop your head to the song blasting through the stereo. It’s Only Angel, of course. You’ve had it on repeat all afternoon and now you can’t wait to actually see Harry perform it live.
Just as you are about to get changed, Syd arrives so you let her in with a beaming smile and when she hears the music upon walking into your place she cheers in excitement.
“Yes! This is such a jam!” she smirks, doing a little dance as you lock the door behind her.
“You look fantastic, Syd,” you tell her. The black short dress looks amazing paired with the lilac oversized blazer. Her makeup matches the same color and you are obsessed with the fishnet tights. She will surely make men wish she was into them.
“Thank you! Spent two hours figuring out what to wear, so I hope I look fantastic,” she giggles.
She helps you put together your outfit as well. Wide legged flaming red pants that make your waist look snatched, a black sheer top tucked into it with just a black bralette underneath. You already know Harry will be a fan of the skin you’re showing, you can’t wait to see his face when he finally spots you.
You quickly pack your essentials into a black Chanel purse along with stuff you need for a possible sleepover if things might take a pleasant turn, and you finish with everything just when the doorman calls up through the intercom that Lawrence has arrived.
“So, what’s the deal with you and him, if I may ask?” Syd questions in the car, not in a nosy way, more like a curious, friendly way.
“We are… getting close,” you say, tasting the word on your tongue. You haven’t labeled whatever you have going on with Harry, nor do you really know what it should be called. You’ve been trying hard to make time for each other as much as possible, making small lunch and coffee dates a regular thing. He came over to your place one evening for a movie and that’s the only time you were able to be alone with him, though nothing sexual happened. Yet. The real deal is yet to happen and if you are being honest you are running short on patience. It’s getting harder to hold yourself back and keep your hands to yourself as well when you are out with him, but you agreed to keep it lowkey out in the public.
Tonight, however, you have a feeling what you’ve been waiting for so long might actually happen and you can only hope Harry is planning the same thing. You are absolutely ready to bluntly ask if he wants to spend the night at your place.
“But you’re heading… somewhere, right?”
“I hope so,” you smile shyly.
“That’s amazing. I think you two are a match,” Syd smirks at you.
By the time you arrive to the venue the gates have been opened so people are busy getting inside, giving you the chance to walk inside through the backdoors without any fuss.
“Miss, Harry requested me to usher you to his dressing room when you arrive,” the girl at the door smiles at you with a clipboard in her hands and a headset covering her ears.
“Oh, alright,” you nod, turning to Syd. “You go ahead and get us a good place,” you tell her and she nods walking away with a wave as she heads up to the second floor that’s fully reserved for friends and family.
Following the girl down the hallway you are led to a room that has Harry’s name on it. She gently knocks on the door and a few moments later it flies open, revealing Harry in a colorful suit and a simple white button-down shirt. He looks breathtaking, hair fixed perfectly and the wide grin stretching across his lips when he sees you standing there.
“You’re here!” he breathes out, grabbing your hand and pulling inside, snatching you away from the preying eyes. Once the door clicks closed behind you, he is quick to press his lips to yours in a sweet welcoming kiss. Ever since your first official date he hasn’t passed on any chance to kiss you whenever you had the luxury of privacy to yourselves, which hasn’t happened too much, leaving you both with a growing hunger for each other every time you meet.
“Mm of course I am,” you smile against his lips before pecking them one last time and leaning back. “Looking great, Mr. Styles,” you grin, taking your time to wander your eyes down on him.
“Yeah? Like the suit?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I love your outfit as well. M’gonna have a hard time not thinking about you on the stage.”
“Please think about me,” you breathe out with a coy smile.
“Don’t fucking say that to me, you are giving me a hard time,” he groans and you just chuckle at the tortured look on his face.
“Sorry,” you mumble, but your face doesn’t meet your words. He squeezes your waist gently, pecking your lips in a rush before he lets go of you.
“I need to go over a few things before we start, so just go ahead and join Syd. Meet me here after the show?”
“Yeah, perfect,” you nod smiling. “Good luck out there,” you wink and he grins at you with bright eyes. His hands grab onto yours before you head out, pulling you in for one last kiss before you leave.
You feel flustered and you take a few deep breaths on your way up to the gallery to find Syd who managed to get an amazing spot at the front on the left side.
They offer everyone up on the gallery some champagne before the show starts and looking around you see a few familiar faces, but no one you specifically know. You stick with Sydney who is over the moon about the show and you are kind of sharing her excitement.
When the lights go down and the music finally starts, you can’t help but join in with the screams that fill the theater.
You’ve seen videos of him performing, in One Direction and solo as well. You’ve seen pictures and you’ve heard the words about how amazing he is on stage, but none of those live up to the actual experience. The sensation that takes over you just by seeing him appear on the stage as the whole theater chants his name as one, it completely sweeps you off your feet and for a second you wonder how you could live a life without this experience.
When his voice starts to flow through the massive speakers you need to take a deep breath, a shiver runs down your spine and you chug down the rest of your champagne so you could get rid of the glass and hold onto the railing with both hands because you feel like you need to ground yourself before you shoot into the sky.
Song after song, he performs perfectly, bringing every single person in the audience to that euphoric state they’ve been probably seeking their whole life. The experience is surely one of a kind, something you’ll definitely be thinking about for a long time.
Time seems to stop, though it cruelly carries on even when you forget about it completely. The concert is nearing its end and Harry takes a breather as he places his guitar to the stand behind him. You watch his every move as he walks back to the microphone, his gaze moving up to the gallery, roaming through the people until they find you.
“This last song is dedicated… to my Only Angel,” he murmurs into the microphone as the audience erupts, blows up at once and your heart skips a beat when his eyes linger over you for a little longer before the music starts to play.
You faintly hear Syd screaming next to you, probably aware that the dedication was addressed to you, but you can’t tear your eyes off of the man on the stage.
He nails it perfectly, looking like an absolute rockstar that he truly is and for a moment you can’t believe you have his attention and interest. How can such a precious and unbelievably talented man be in your reach?
Because I deserve great things in life, you tell yourself, a little mantra you’ve gotten around to repeat every time you found yourself doubting your success and happiness.
The concert eventually ends and though no one in the room desires the end of it, Harry leaves and you are abruptly brought back to reality.
“That was… something else truly,” Syd breathes out as the two of you linger around a little longer, trying to come down from the high you just experienced.
“Yeah. He is so fucking talented it’s almost unfair,” you chuckle running a hand through your hair.
“This tour will kill thousands of people all around the world,” she muses and for a moment, reality sets in and you realize that Harry will leave for his worldwide tour very soon, leaving you behind.
You get rid of the thought, not wanting to stress over something that’s not relevant just yet and you don’t want to ruin the evening either. Fears and stress can wait a little longer.
The two of you make your way backstage, walking into a bit of a chaos as all close friends and family want to congratulate to Harry and the band as well. Standing at the side you let everyone have their time, barely even seeing Harry in the sea of people in the spacious green room. Syd keeps you company as you wait and about thirty minutes later it seems like the crowd is starting to loosen up.
Harry spots you and excuses himself immediately from his conversation with a couple, heading in your direction with the widest grin you’ve ever seen on his pretty face.
“Congrats, that was mind-blowing,” you smirk as he reaches you, a hand curling around your waist as he leans down and places a kiss to your cheek, keeping it as moderate as possible, though you both just want to jump at each other.
“Thank you, Love,” he nods, a blush tinting his cheeks from your words. “Hello Sydney, so great to see you again,” he greets the girl next to you and they share a short hug.
“Hi! Loved the show so much!” she giggles in excitement.
“Thank you for coming.”
The three of you chat for a while before Sydney says she is gonna call herself an Uber, so after saying her goodbye she leaves you alone with Harry, as much as you can be alone with a bunch of other people around.
“I wanted to ask you something,” he clears his throat as his hand finds its way back to the small of your back.
“Go for it.”
“We are gonna grab a drink at some bar, but nothing over the top and I wanted to ask if you would want to join.”
“Sounds good,” you smile, feeling a little disappointed. This is not exactly what you wanted him to ask. Luckily, he is not done with his questions.
“Also… I-If it’s cool by you, I thought that… maybe you could come over?”
“Mmm, go over and do what?” you tease him, your smile stretching wider with each passing moment.
“I have plenty of ideas, Love,” he breathes out, making you laugh. “We could drop by your place if you need anything to stay over.”
“No need. Packed a bag,” you slyly grin at him, taking him by surprise clearly, but it’s surely a pleasant one.
“Always a step ahead of me, huh?” he smirks, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
It takes some time to actually leave the venue and head off to the bar with a close group of friends of him and the band. A secluded area was already reserved for you that has its own bar, so you could enjoy the evening without worrying about preying eyes of strangers or fans. You really weren’t in the mood to keep your distance from Harry, this way at least you were able to touch each other in a more intimate way without speculations swirling up immediately.
You get to know his band and some of his friends, they are all genuinely amazing people, but you weren’t expecting anything else. You figured he only surrounds himself with people like him. His hands often find your waist and he doesn’t shy away from kissing your cheek or giving your hips a gentle squeeze, just letting you know you have his attention and he appreciates that you’re there.
It’s nearing one am when the guests start leaving and soon enough you find yourself in the back of your car with Harry, heading to his place, while you try your best to keep your hands away from him. You wouldn’t put Lawrence through the trauma of having to see or hear something he shouldn’t.
But that doesn’t stop you from kissing, something you’ve been dying to do all night. Your hand rests on his thigh while he has an arm curled around your shoulders, keeping you tight by his side, delicately brushing his nose against your hair every time your lips are not connected.
“Thank you, Lawrence. I’ll call myself a taxi in the morning, have the day off,” you tell your driver who smiles in your way thankfully while Harry grabs your and his bags from the back of the car.
“Thank you, Miss. Enjoy your night,” he nods in your way as you shut the door closed.
You try to take your duffel bag from Harry, but he insists to carry it as the two of you walk inside his house.
“Want something to drink? Water, tea or something?” he asks, setting the bags down near his giant, comfortable looking couch. Your thoughts immediately wander to a dirty field, picturing him sitting on that very couch as you kneel in front of him, pleasuring him so good that his eyes roll back…
“Yeah, water please,” you say clearing your throat. Some hydration will come handy after the drinks you chugged down at the bar.
You follow him as he shuffles into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and a bottled water from the fridge for you, pouring some into the glass before handing it to you.
“Thank you. You have a nice place for yourself,” you tell him, looking around in his home.
“Thanks. Been working on it for a while,” he chuckles softly. “Feels a bit too big for just myself though.”
You finish the water and set your eyes at him, feeling your hunger for him grow with each passing moment. Placing the empty glass to the marble counter you take a step closer to him.
“You feel lonely often?” you question in a low voice. His eyes return to you and you are happy to see the same lust in them.
“Would say so, yes,” he nods, running his tongue over his pink lips before he reaches out and grabbing you by your hips, he draws you close to him. Leaning down his lips brush against the shell of your ear, a shiver runs down your spine when you hear his whisper in it. “Hope it’ll change soon.”
At a loss of patience, you grab his face and angle it perfectly so you can kiss him hard. And by hard, you mean real hard. He stumbles back from the force, but manages to keep his balance, returning the kiss just as vehemently as he receives it, a tug of war starting between the two of you.
His hands work fast on the sheer fabric of your shirt, pulling it out from the waistband of your pants, getting rid of it eagerly as his lips wander down on your neck, collarbones and chest. He easily turns the two of you around so you are pushed against the edge of the countertop, his hips pushed against you and it’s clearer that daylight just how excited he is to have you here tonight. Your eyes flicker over to the couch again and the desire to please him with your mouth just bursts, you can’t hold yourself back anymore.
So you push him away from you, grabbing his wrist and yanking him after you, heading towards the couch. You push him down and his lustful eyes follow every move of yours as you kneel in front of him and he realizes what you are about to do. He doesn’t stop you when you work to unbutton his pants, but his hand finds your chin and he pulls you up for a swift, but passionate kiss.
Once you successfully undid his pants he lifts his hips and you spare some time and energy, pulling them down along with his underwear, leaving him only in his vintage printed t-shirt as his cock springs free. You push your thighs together just at the sight of him, the way his eyes burn down on you, how his lips part when your gazes meet and the way he sucks on his breath when your fingers dig into his thighs near his crotch as you situate yourself closer.
“I believe I owe you an orgasm, don’t I?” you ask with a cheeky smirk before wrapping your left hand around the base of his shaft, giving it a gentle squeeze, just enough to get him even more excited. A whimpered moan slips from his lips and you lean closer, giving his cock a lick from bottom to top, wrapping your lips around the head as you swirl your tongue around it.
“Fuck hell!” he breathes out, clearly enjoying himself, hands fisting the cushion next to him, but you bet they’ll be buried in your hair soon.
You’re not an expert in the field of blowjobs, but it’s been your thing to come barging right through the door and jump the easy teasing whenever you were on your knees for a man. So with your hands fixed on his beautiful face, you sink down on him, his cock gliding into your mouth right until the tip reaches the back of your throat, earning the loudest moan you’ve heard from him. Shutting your eyes closed you keep him like that for a second until the urge to gag starts to set in, so you slide him out, your saliva dripping down his erection as your eyes meet his and you can tell you shocked him with your bold first move.
“Do that one more time and I won’t last for a minute,” he warns breathing heavily and you just smirk up at him before going into action again, this time only taking a smaller portion of him, pumping the base to make up for the lack of deep throating, but it appears that he enjoys just the simple part of it equally. As you keep bobbing your head, taking as much of him as you can without gagging, his right hand flies to your hair, taking a handful of it as he gently guides your head, keeping it in the rhythm that works the best for him and you happily let him do whatever makes him feel good.
When your free hand goes to gently massage his balls your name erupts from him in the most voluptuous way you’ve heard him call out for you. As if he just cried out for God himself.
“Y/N, fuck, I won’t last long,” he warns you, but that’s all you want. You need to see him come undone under your touch, you want to be the reason his breath hitches. Picking up your pace you see him whimper some more, head falling backwards to the back of the couch. It’s a heavenly view and you wish you could take a picture of his beauty as he enjoys himself on this intimate level. You’ve never wanted to please a man more than him and just seeing him in this blissful state makes you wet through your underwear.
When his breathing starts to get uneven, chest heaving wildly, you take all of him again, his head poking the back of your throat and you push your tongue against his length as you slide him out, picking up the same pace that you kept before, both hands working hard on him.
“Fuck! I-I’m gonna cum!” he warns again and just a few seconds later, you feel the evidence of his satisfaction spurt into the back of your throat, eyes falling on you as you give him one last lick before swallowing everything that’s in your mouth.
“Holy shit,” he breathes out pulling you up, eagerly kissing you without a second thought, his hands cupping your cheeks to keep you in place. “You surely know how to kill a man, yea?” he huffs making you chuckle.
“Think you can go for a second one?” you sheepishly ask, blinking up at him from under your long lashes.
“I’ll have enough time to recover while I eat you out like you’re my last meal,” he bluntly replies, and a moan almost slips from your lips.
“Show me what you got, Styles,” you challenge him and he doesn’t need more, he easily picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he heads straight to the bedroom.
“As you wish, Angel,” he mumbles against your skin, peppering your neck and shoulder with featherlike kisses along his way until he throws you to his bed, ruthlessly tearing the remaining of your clothes off your body.
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aereres · 4 years ago
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Stuck On You - Cale Makar
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Summary: What started as a friendship between you and Cale takes a turn during one of the best summer vacations of your life - a week in a campsite with your new friends from Colorado.
A/N: A self-indulgent Cale fic, who would have thought lmao. Definitely not my best work but I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: a couple swear words, mentions of break-up
Summer. Summer held something you couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was the road trips with music blasting from your car’s speakers, or the endless nights spent drinking cheap beers with strangers while sitting on docks. Maybe it was the seasonal loves, the ones you’d talk about with your friends after coming home, or maybe it was the memories.
Summer had always been something you had never missed, no matter how hard school got, or how good your job paid people to stay during the hottest months of the year; and, in Colorado, it wasn’t any different.
You were gasping for breath when you finally reached the perfect spot for camping, your backpack heavy on your shoulders as your friends walked past you. The excited giggles that left their lips joined the sound of birds chirping as they pushed their own belongings on the ground.
“Oh my God,” Johanna laughed, Andre’s arm wrapped around her shoulders as she looked around the empty side of the forest your getaway was going to take place in. “This place is beautiful,”
“It is,” Sydney said from beside her, eyes cast on her bag as she started to take some stuff out.
You were still taking the beautiful view in, a smile on your lips as you realized that summer was finally starting. A new summer, you thought, with new friends and a new spot.
“Y/N, just come here already!” Andre yelled from the distance, pushing you out of your trance. “Your tent is not gonna build itself,”
“I’m coming,” you giggled, jokingly rolling your eyes your friend’s way as you pushed your backpack down your shoulders, looking around for an empty space for yourself.
“I’m here-”
The breathless words were mumbled behind you, making you turn around quickly to find a flushed face. Cale’s cheeks were their usual dark shade of red, sweat lining his forehead as he tried to gain back his breathing.
“Oh- hi, Cale,” you smiled, heart fluttering when your eyes met his face. “You doing okay?”
“I was a little late,” he mumbled, waving JT’s way before his eyes gently settled on you. It seemed like he had realized you were there in front of him just then, his body tensing as a small smile formed on his lips. “Hi, Y/N,”
“Oh my God,” Nate huffed. “I’ll literally let the two of you sleep with the bears if you don’t start with the tents,”
“Fine, fine. You guys are annoying as hell,” you mumbled, brushing past him to reach one of the last two empty spots, throwing the bag that held your tent on the ground. The paper that slipped out of the opened zipper was filled with instructions, the words so small you almost struggled to read through them. If it wasn’t already difficult enough, the drawings explaining how to set up the tent weren’t helping, either.
You were just starting to understand something when your friends’ loud laughter filled your ears, along with the sound of bottles of beer being opened. You laughed to yourself, taking one of the many thin poles in your hands as you tried to figure out where it was supposed to go, one of your palms burying itself in your hair.
You had never been the greatest at building things, and you weren’t surprised when you grew close to calling one of the guys and ask for their help. Their tents had been built in less than half an hour, helping you prop up yours wasn’t going to be too difficult. Right?
“Here, give it to me. I’ll help you,” the familiar voice snapped you out of your thoughts, as deep as you remembered it to be. Cale was standing beside you, arms folded over his chest as he gave your work a quick look, a teasing smirk on his lips. “Never been camping?”
“Not really,” you giggled awkwardly, handing him the item in your hand as he figured the mess out. His feet carried him to the left side of the tent, sliding the first part of the tube in its place.
“Alright, go on the other side,”
With Cale’s help, building a tent had never been easier. He knew what to do and where to start, he honestly made it look easy. Your shelter was ready after just a couple of minutes, and you found yourself smiling Cale’s way as soon as he mumbled a quick ‘we’re done’.
“Really?!”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, taking his place by your side again as the two of you gave the results one last look. “Looks better than mine down there,”
You giggled, turning around to wrap an arm around him, pulling him in a quick hug. “Thank you so much,” you said, pushing a stray hair out of your eyesight. “Wouldn’t have made it, without you,”
“You’re welcome,” Cale said rather rushedly, his cheeks blushing slightly. You weren’t able to see the way he flushed, though, turning around way too quickly to unpack your bag and getting the last few things for your shelter out.
As you pushed your phone out of your pocket, you realized just then how messily the butterflies in your stomach were dancing. And it was all because of Cale.
-
The sounds of the fireplace were comforting you as everyone enjoyed the first night of the summer together with a beer in hand. Loud laughter was coming from the Avalanche players, and you could hear a few laughs and giggles coming from your own friends, too.
“I can’t believe they gave you a penalty, man,” Tyson admitted, referring to Nathan’s last call on the ice that cost the team a power-play goal. “It was a clean hit and we all saw that,”
“Yeah, man,” EJ agreed, tipping his head back as he finished his beer.
“Call was ridiculous,” Nate agreed, shrugging slightly to signal the end of the conversation before letting an arm wrap around his girlfriend. “What have you been up to, Y/N? You’re the only one we don’t see too often,”
You chuckled at his words, shaking your head as you swallowed the last piece of s’more in your mouth. “Just been working, trying to get a promotion,”
“You go, girl,” Johanna cheered, making you laugh. “And Christian?”
The laughter left your body as soon as your ex was mentioned, the last words of your final argument repeating themselves in your mind. “Christian?” Was all you were able to mumble, eyes cast on the fire as you buried your hands in the pockets of your hoodie.
“Your boyfriend,” Susanna stated, making you chuckle out bitterly.
“Well, ex-boyfriend,” you sighed, shrugging when you looked up to see a few shocked faces. “Broke up a few months ago, now,”
“And you didn’t tell us?!” Mikko yelled, his voice loud over the mixed words of shock from your friends.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, casting your eyes to your lap as everyone kept talking, slowly starting to express the way they all almost despised your ex. Nathan - and his girlfriend agreed with him - said something about Christian hitting on his girl, Tyson complained about the fact that he had never seemed to treat you good, and all the girls agreed with him.
Thinking about your break-up on the first day of your summer vacation wasn’t something you had planned, so you silently kept to yourself, hoping the conversation would drop quickly. Your eyes lifted up from the orange flames of the fire, finding the stars illuminating the dark sky, so subtle yet so beautiful. All the voices of your friends were silenced as you admired the beauty of the night, a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in finally leaving your lips.
A gentle hand nudged your elbow, your attention snapping towards the person to your right in a quick second. Staring back at you was Cale, a soft smile on his lips as he held a stick with a roasted marshmallow between the two of you. “For you,”
“For me?”
“I know you love roasted marshmallows,” he mumbled, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. “Just thought of making one for you, I guess,”
A small smile formed on your lips at his kindness, cheeks burning as you accepted the stick. “You’re too sweet, Cale,” you mumbled, your shoulder leaning against his as you grabbed the candy from the top of the branch, pushing it in your mouth.
He grabbed his own marshmallow and slid it in his mouth, your eyes meeting as you silently looked at each other. His cheeks grew bigger from the size of the candy, a small piece of it coloring the side of his mouth.
You giggled, his own laughter following yours as you swallowed. “Hang on, Cale,” you mumbled, coming closer to him as you tried to ignore your heartbeat picking up its pace. “You’ve got something-”
Your palm cupped his scarlet cheek, warm against your skin as your thumb smoothed the sticky substance away, your eyes barely leaving his as the two of you sat back in place. Both of your heartbeats were loud, cheeks burning as you acted as if the closeness hadn’t affected you in any kind of way.
You silently hoped nobody had paid attention to the two of you, knowing the guys wouldn’t hold down the chirping; but when you looked back at the team and wags, they all seemed to be too focused on their conversation to even notice Cale’s burning cheeks, or your fingers slightly touching.
You were the first one to wish everyone a good night, that day, to retrieve in your tent and listen to your heart beat loudly. You felt like a teenager again, feeling just so jittery after the interaction with the man you had always spent too much time looking at, and had always looked for whenever you’d join the group at any kind of event.
You had always repressed whatever you had been feeling for Cale, pushed it to the side to avoid any kind of rejection. But the way Cale smiled your way, the way he helped you out whenever he could, the way he tried to find subtle ways to gently touch you.
Something in you, that night, was guessing that your feelings might have been mutual.
-----
“Does this happen every time you guys go camping?” You asked Sydney breathlessly as you took a look at the hiking path in front of you. You were already two hours into the hike, the guys all walking ahead of you as if the uphill path wasn’t tiring them, at all. “Like, do you ever get a break when hiking with the boys?”
“Nope,” Sydney giggled from beside you, stopping in her tracks to take a sip of her water. “You’re a newbie to our camping trips, you’ll get used to it,”
You laughed along with her, looping your arm around hers as you followed the rest of the group through the sunrays-lit forest, sweat threatening to line your forehead. Walking in front of everyone was Cale, laughing along with Nate as you watched him, a smile of your own forming on your lips.
The moments of the previous night kept repeating in your mind as you silently walked, hoping the man living in your mind wouldn’t notice the fondness in your eyes whenever he looked your way.
“So, you and Cale?”
The words leaving Sydney’s mouth had your cheeks burning, the smile on your face quickly turning sheepish as you kept walking. “What about me and Cale?”
“C’mon,” she laughed, looking at you with an eyebrow raised. “Last night?”
You rolled your eyes with a chuckle, shaking your head slowly as you looked at the path in front of you. “That was nothing,”
“Nothing?!” She cried exasperatedly, pushing your shoulder as she kept walking. “You looked like you were going to make-out on the spot,”
“That’s not true,”
“That’s more than true, Y/N,” she laughed, silence settling between the two of you after her teasing words. Maybe you and Cale hadn’t been that smooth, you thought. Her elbow was quick to hit your ribcage after a few minutes, her eyes finding yours again as a small smirk formed on her lips. “He’s single, you’re finally single. You should give it a thought,”
“It’s just a stupid, small crush,” you admitted. “Nothing more,”
“Then why not try and see where things would lead?” She stated, knowing she was right. “I’ve never seen Cale act like that,”
“Like what?”
“Like a smitten teenager,” her honesty had you laughing, your head shaking as you were the one to push her shoulder, that time. When your laughter died down, her voice made its way inside your ears. “But really, you should try,”
She didn’t give you time to give her a response, slipping away from you to reach her boyfriend’s side, who had called her name. You were left on your own once again, staring ahead of you, your eyes focused on the back of Cale’s head as you struggled to keep up with the group.
Was it so easy to notice? The way your cheeks would heat up, or the way your smile would turn giddy as soon as he’d be close enough to have your fingers brushing against his. Was it that easy?
“C’mon, Y/N! We’re almost there!” EJ yelled from the front, his toothless smile shining from the distance as he walked backward. You laughed, throwing your head back for a quick second before meeting eyes with a smiley Cale standing by his side.
His cheeks were their usual scarlet color, hair slightly tousled from being pushed back too many times, but he still looked like the kind of person who would steal your heart in no time.
-
“Good night, Y/N,” Tyson was the last person to leave the fireplace, a smile on his face as he walked towards his tent, the silence of the night engulfing you in a warm embrace.
Your eyes drifted up towards the sky - as they always did - and found the patterns of stars painting it. The moon was shining brightly that night, its rays illuminating your face as you silently thought about your day. And Cale.
The hike had gone surprisingly well: the various hours under the hot sun had been worth it, the view from the top of the mountains so beautiful you could never forget it. But you couldn’t just forget Cale, his lingering touches, and the way his eyes would be staring deeply at you whenever they could.
When he had helped you down a particularly high, rocky step, your breath had hitched, the feeling of his rough yet gentle hands on your waist pushing the butterflies in your stomach back to life. You were sure you had never felt so deeply connected to someone, the way Cale was making you feel just so unknown to you. You didn’t want things to end.
“You sure you’ll be okay out here on your own?”
Your head snapped towards the source of sound, the nest of tousled blond hair you knew too well finding your eyes in less than a second. “Yeah, don’t worry, Cale,”
Your gaze fell back on the stars, ignoring the sound of his footsteps until the shuffling of his body next to yours snapped you out of your thoughts again. “The stars are beautiful, tonight,” was all Cale mumbled as your shoulders touched.
“City pollution doesn’t do them much justice,” you chuckled, wrapping your arms around your folded legs as you sent him a quick glance. “I should probably come here more often,”
“It’s such a nice place,” Cale stated, a layer of comfortable silence settling between the two of you. Your body leaned against his on its own command, your head almost resting on his shoulder as the sounds of the crickets surrounding you pushed you into a state of calmness.
His body seemed to tense for a second, but his arm wrapped around your middle when he realized there was nothing you wanted more than to feel him close to you. He was silent for a few minutes - just enjoying your closeness and the warmth your body held - before letting his eyes close.
You didn’t recall walking back to your tent, the next morning when you woke up, but his hoodie still covering your body was a tell-tale sign Cale had brought you back after a while. You buried your flushed face in your pillow, that morning, the sun warming up your tent as you still felt Cale close to you.
Did he feel the same way?
-----
“Oh. My. God. Y/N!” Johanna yelled, trembling as the chilly water of the lake hit her back, all thanks to your splashing. You giggled at her exaggerated reaction, dipping underwater to escape any of her splashes as she tried to look for revenge.
The sun was setting after another long hike, its reflection painting the lake an orange shade as you cooled down, enjoying the last day of the vacation with the team. It was a summer you were going to remember, but you felt stressed, in some kind of way.
Your heart was beating for someone, and that someone was Cale. You had never felt as close to him as you did on the trip, and you felt like something was going to happen. Eventually.
But the trip was coming to its end: you’d have to go home and get back to your schedule, the guys would go back in full swing to their own jobs, and you weren’t ready to give up on the progress you and Cale had made, not yet. It felt as if the universe wanted you to be happy, giving you Cale and feelings you just couldn’t hold back, and just a small time to find your happiness.
The water had stopped moving around you, and you realized just then that Johanna had left, and you were - yet again - on your own. The water had started to cool down even more due to the dark clouds already painting the sky, pushing you to sit on the dock with a towel wrapped around your shoulders to warm up.
The world seemed to grow quiet as you watched the clouds move, reminding you of the sleepless night you were going to spend in your lonely tent due to the upcoming rainstorm. You smiled, though, taking a deep breath as the sound of laughter from the distance slowly put your world back into motion.
“You’re going to get a cold,”
“Would be worth it,” you giggled, watching Cale move until he was sitting next to you on the dock. “What are you doing here?”
“I was looking for you, dinner’s almost ready,” he mumbled, his own eyes falling on the sky. You hummed, wrapping the towel tighter around your shoulders as you scooted closer to him.
“I’m going to miss this,” you whispered truthfully, your cold fingers busy on the strings of your bikini. “Camping, nights in front of the fireplace, you guys,”
“Same,” Cale admitted. “I don’t want it to end, you know? I’m going to miss you,”
Your heart fluttered at his words, sending the butterflies in your stomach in a spiral for a quick second as he kept talking. “And it’s stupid to say, because I see you just so often,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “But I’m going to miss you, and what happened between us here,”
You took a second to let his words sink in, just how quickly they made your body feel warm and how they made you feel like a teenager in love all over again. “It doesn’t have to end, Cale,” was all you whispered, your eyes meeting his as you let your heart beat loudly, not caring if anyone heard it.
“I didn’t think you’d feel the same way,” he said, honesty slipping from his lips as he let a hand cup your cheek tenderly.
“And I didn’t think you’d feel the same way, either,” you giggled, your chest warming up unexpectedly when his lips brushed up in a smile. You admired him, letting your eyes rake across his eyes, then his nose, his rosy cheeks, and - soon after - his lips. “Promise me we won’t let this go to waste,”
“We won’t,” he whispered back, his free hand lacing with yours as your lips finally met. Your world felt complete, at least, it seemed like it. With his hands on you and his gentle kisses, you felt alive, you felt like you were finally home.
One of his kisses turned into two, and two turned into three. As warm as he made you feel, your body heat was lowering and you had to pull away with clattering teeth before you bit his lip a little too hard. Your foreheads met for a moment, your eyes closing as you spent one last moment with him, the closeness having you weak.
“You’re freezing,” he stated, eyes carefully taking notice of your purple lips and shaking limbs. “Let’s go, you need to get changed before you die on me,”
“I’m fine, Cale,” you giggled, taking his hand to stand up with him before you started to head towards your camping spot, where the rest of the team was making dinner. His hand stayed in yours as he led you towards your tent, not caring - or worrying - if your friends saw.
Dinner was quite uneventful after that. You ate in silence as you missed Cale’s touch, a smile on your lips as you caught him staring your way from the distance. You didn’t set up the fireplace, that night. Rain started to hit your skin by ten, and everyone pretty much understood your last night had come to an end.
You had wished Cale goodnight with a subtle squeeze of his hand before heading towards your tent, sliding under your covers as you thought about the events of the day. Your mind went back to the man that stole your heart, thinking about the way your heart would stutter every time he’d look your way, or just how quickly your mood could change when his skin touched yours.
Saying you were stuck on him was an understatement.
The tiredness from the activities started to kick in - your eyes feeling quite heavy as you pushed your phone away from you - but the sounds the rain made, the fear of a storm and just what it could cause, they were keeping you up.
The raindrops were hitting the fabric of the tent harshly, and as much as you tried to relax, you just couldn’t. It was well past midnight when an idea popped in your mind, but you just couldn’t. It was too much, and too early.
You rolled to your side, your air mattress making a squeaking noise as you did so. It was too early. Your phone vibrated, pushing you out of your thoughts as the screen lit up, a new message waiting to be read.
I’m outside your tent.
Your brows furrowed at Cale’s text, looking up to see that, in fact, someone was standing outside your tent. You crawled towards the entrance, pushing the zipper down until the cold hair of the night hit your face, and your eyes met Cale’s frame.
“What the hell are you doing here? You’re going to catch a cold!”
“Would be worth it,” he repeated the words you had used earlier that day. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” you whisper-yelled, almost dragging him inside before you closed the tent back up. “What are you doing here, Cale?”
“I noticed you couldn’t sleep,” he mumbled, sitting on the edge of your mattress as his eyes stayed on your features even in the darkness of the night. “And I couldn’t sleep either,”
You giggled, shaking your head when you had realized you had had the same idea at the same time. You had been so close to joining Cale in his tent to relax and let all your worries leave your body, but he had beaten you at your own game.
With your last ounce of courage, you pressed a quick kiss to his blushing cheek, pulling him along with you to lay on the mattress. “Just come here,”
You were facing each other after you slipped under the covers again, his eyes staring into yours as you felt your body snuggle closer to his at its own command. One of his arms wrapped itself around your body, pulling you even closer as you felt a tender kiss being pressed to the crown of your head.
“Get some rest,” he whispered in your hair, your face buried in the crook of his neck as he talked. “I’ll be here in the morning,”
“Good night, Cale,”
“Good night, Y/N,”
-
Morning came quickly, too quickly for your liking. The sun was weakly lighting up your tent, its rays shining against Cale’s skin just right. He was still with you - as he had promised - and you were sure there was no better way to wake up than to open your eyes and see Cale, before anyone else.
He was breathing shallowly, eyes still closed as his arms kept tight around your waist, no sign of him waking up just yet. Your heart was a fluttering mess: you’d gone from complete strangers, to friends, to what seemed like lovers. And, God- you didn’t want it to end.
One single digit of yours ghosted over his soft cheek, starting to trace his features as lightly as it could as you admired him with all you had, hoping he wouldn’t wake up from your motions. A long sigh left his lips at your touch, eyelids squeezing for a quick second before he let them open.
“Good morning,” he grumbled, voice gravelly as he closed his eyes for another moment.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” you whispered, retrieving your hand as he pulled you closer. “Slept well?”
“Yes,” he dragged the last letter, the smile on his lips making you giggle. “You?”
“Like a baby,”
“That’s good,”
Silence settled between you as you enjoyed his warmth, brain running way too quickly at just eight in the morning while you traced shapes on his clothed chest. “They’re gonna chirp the hell out of us,” you giggled.
“Oh, God,” Cale chuckled, his palm landing on his face as he remembered about his restless teammates. “Might as well just die in here,”
You giggled, tugging the tent’s zipper open and grabbing his hand to get him out of your bed. “Just let them talk,” you whispered in his ear before stepping outside, stretching your limbs. His quite taller frame struggled to exit the tent, but when he did, a chorus of gasps surrounded you.
“I knew it!” Johanna yelled, receiving a slap from a sleepy Sydney when her loud voice scared her. “I fucking knew it!”
“Cale is getting it, guys!” Tyson said loudly, making Cale’s cheeks heat up.
“Shut the fuck up, Josty,” you spat out jokingly, pushing his shoulder as you found an empty spot to sit on. “Don’t chirp my boyfriend,”
The weight of Cale’s body sitting next to you was enough to distract you for a second, but his thick voice in your ear really took your breath away. “Boyfriend?”
You bit your lip, looking up at him innocently before sending him a quick smile. “Only if you want to,”
He hummed, jokingly leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek, your heart beating loudly against your ribcage. “I’ll think about it,”
Breakfast was over in a rush, and you found yourself packing your belongings with sad sighs leaving your lips every now and then. Even though summer had barely just reached its peak, you weren’t ready to leave the memories of the camping trip behind just yet.
On the hike back to the parking lot, your hand stayed in Cale’s. It fit in his palm so easily you couldn’t help but think you were never going to stop holding his hand, as pathetic as it sounded. The air was chilly, and it held sadness as you two and the rest of the group walked back to your cars.
“I don’t want this to end,” Susanna said, hugging you tightly as you all said goodbye. “I’m going to miss you girls,”
“We’ll find a way to see each other, babe,” Sydney reassured her as they embraced each other.
“Y/N,” Nate greeted you with a smile, a smirk on his lips as he hugged you. “I’m hoping to see you at our next game with an eight on your back,”
You punched his shoulder jokingly when you parted ways, laughing along with him. “I’ll miss you too, Nate,”
Your last goodbyes were sad, numerous people piling in cars as you waved their way, your back resting against your car as you sighed softly.
“So,” Cale mumbled from behind you, stepping closer to your frame as he looked down at you. “Would be interested in our next game’s ticket and my personal jersey, as Nate suggested?”
You giggled, shaking your head as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I mean, maybe,” you joked, biting on your lip as you let your eyes meet.
“As my girlfriend, you should probably say yes,” he said, looking down at you with a smirk as he gave you no time to respond, his lips meeting yours in a kiss.
“Girlfriend?”
He matched the smile on your face, leaning down to press another kiss before mocking your words from that morning. His voice was smooth, making your heart beat faster than usual, the butterflies in your stomach so crazy you were worried he could feel them.
“Only if you want to,”
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iampikachuhearmeroar · 2 years ago
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y’know what i hate about being the Forever Single Friend™️/ Stubbornly Single Friend/Can’t Ever Be Fucked To Date Friend while everyone else is in serious long term relationships and/or getting engaged and married….. is that all i seem to get is a “hope you’re going well” and no actual other conversations around “hey how was your day” because everyone is just too caught up with their partners and life etc.
so i never have shit to say at work about “hey what did you do this weekend?” bc i have no one to do shit with. and this is besides the point that nearly all of my friends have moved away to either sydney or another part of nsw or another state. so it’s like where the fuck are my friends and why don’t they check up on me more often than my birthday every year or every few months???
like i don’t even get facetime calls from some of them who facetime each other. not that i really want to be FT’ed often. but still. like. why don’t they even text me and tell me their numbers??? it’s so fucking weird being forever single™️ in your 20s while all your friends are almost obsessed with their partners to the point that they forget that you exist.
like it’s no wonder that so many single people feel so lonely when all their friends are so involved with their significant others… that they then feel like they have to treat dating like a chore and a burden; just to throw themselves at anyone at all, just so they can feel any semblance of being seen and being talked to regularly. but then again, i do love being the forever single etc friend bc it means i’m NOT wasting time being treated like shit by the late 20s dudes that are left on the market; who always want to “take things casually” or whatever the fuck….. so that you’re never a priority and always have to fight not to be treated as some type of plaything for them to use and fuck and then dump when they get bored.
but yeah. my point is that it sucks being that friend when everyone is in relationships bc you’re just completely forgotten about in lieu of everyone’s partners and all the effort they put into them so that you become second or deadset last in being talked to.
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