#sweaty bertie

[for-valour]

(Part 2!)

For the final day of Wimbledon, here is a little gifset of Bertie with his friend (and later equerry), Louis Greig as they played that ill-fated doubles match against the older and more experienced pairing of Herbert Roper Barret and Arthur Gore.

I also wanted to share two other lesser-known tournaments involving our dear Prince Bertie!

First: In 1922, four years before his appearance at Wimbledon, Bertie partnered in a mixed doubles game with Miss Peggy Ingram at a tennis party in Lady Crosfield’s home in Highgate. Here are two gifs from that day.

(I love the first gif, with Bertie swinging his racquet around like a petulant teenager. Guess they must have lost that day 😆)

And second: A year after Wimbledon, in 1927, Bertie undertook a tour of the British Empire, including a visit to Jamaica where he partnered with talented Jamaican sportsman Bertrand Milbourne Clark (below) in another game of doubles. Mr. Milbourne Clark was the All-Jamaica Tennis Champion for seven consecutive years - so I really hope they won this match!

This pairing was considered incredibly unusual at the time, and so was seen as a positive and progressive display of racial equality between both men, and friendship between both nations ☺️

gifs made by @for-valour

Sources: YouTube, Pathé, Reuters, Wikimedia Commons.

[websterss]

A LOVE SO TRUE — GUILDFORD DUDLEY

REQUEST: A request for Guildford Dudley x fem verity reader, in which they are married and Guildford can control his Ethian form, but she doesn’t know that he is Ethian yet. She gets sick and discovers that is pregnant but doesn’t tell him and Guildford is worried about her. Just to highlight they have married for love and they are so in love with each other. Something like this, I just can’t get enough of the series haha.

WARNING(S): angst and fluff, mentions of being nauseous, mentions of being pregnant, missed cycle, also if you have emetophobia I wouldn't suggest reading this.

WORD COUNT: 4,454

PAIRING: Guildford Dudley x Verity!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

MASTERLIST

"There, there now. Better out than in My Lady…" You coughed and then heaved as you bent over a bucket. Bertie, yours and Guildford's servant holding your hair back and rubbing your back in soothing circles. You were ill. It was the only possible explanation. You were ill perhaps with a stomach bug. Perhaps poisoned at your family feast. That could have been it, you were certain of it. You hadn't been able to keep the remnants of your meals in your stomach lately. "I shall fetch a doctor, my lady. Your state of health has not improved. It has been a week." Bertie helps you upright. Your face flushed with beads of sweat. You silently thank her for the cloth to wipe against your lips.

"N-No, no, please. No doctor. I would rather not be poked and prodded with medical equipment. I-I am fine." In your weak attempts to gently send Bertie away, you sway in your step forward. Guildford caught you effortlessly before you could meet the harsh ground. "It will pass…" You inhale deeply. Your tired state did not bring him a calm state of mind.

"My lady, you are far from fine. This is the sixth time you have been sick this week." Bertie interjects gently. Guildford moves quickly to walk you back to your bedroom, he settles and tucks you back under the covers, placing a hand on your forehead.

"Gods you're burning up. It will not simply pass, it seems to be getting worse. You are feverish, constantly vomiting, and…you're tired, my love." Guildford did not bother to hide the concern etched on his features.

"I-I'm fine, truly." You attempt to protest weakly but fail as another wave of nausea hits you. You cover your mouth just as Guildford quickly grabs a nearby bucket, placing it between you just as you retch into it. He shakes his head, discomforted by your worsened condition.

"I'm sending for Jane." He tilts his head to firmly meet your eyes. Your timid stare submits to his determined look. "I'll retrieve her myself if I need to. If you won't see a doctor then you'll see her. You love and trust Jane more than anyone else, my love. You'll see her because I cannot bear to see you suffering anymore." He lifts your head up to place a tender kiss on your temple.

"Please. Don't make a fuss over this. It is only a stomach bug surely. It will end soon..." Guildford's heart breaks a little with your protestations. He knows you're scared and trying to hide it behind a facade of stubborn nonchalance.

"You are ill. I will not sit back and watch you get worse. You are stubborn but you're not a fool, love. You know this is not just a stomach bug. You're terrified. I can see that." He cups your face gently. He lets out a sigh as he studies your sweaty, flushed face. His hand caresses the side of your cheek affectionately as he silently prays that you'll get better soon.

"Will you at least rest in bed while I fetch Jane?" He implores softly after a moment of silent contemplation. "You are over-exerting yourself. As your loving and scared husband, I command you to not leave this room." His failed attempt to sound serious falters as you meet his gaze with a raised brow. "...please."

The stubborn streak in you wished to protest, to insist you were alright, that there was no need. However, you could not. You were tired, exhausted from all the vomiting and aching, and in all honesty, your illness was beginning to scare you a little. There was no strength left in you to argue. You simply give him a small nod before collapsing against him heavily. Your head on his chest. His hands curling around your hair pressing you to him.

"It has been a week. You are in no condition to be up and about at this time. It has to be serious. If your nkt slightly better by tomorrow, I'll be fetch someone other than Jane to have a look at you. You will not protest. You will not." He pulls away and cups your face. His expression softened a bit at your pitiful appearance. Your eyes sunken in with dark circles, your hair untamed. He goes to lean in but your hand stops him in place. He huffs then settles with a kiss against your cheek, another softly laid on your neck. You sigh in contentment at his affection. "I should be back in half a day's worth." He fluffs up your pillow and tucks you underneath the cover. He places the bucket alongside the edge of the bed, within your reach to fetch with ease. "I love you..." He kisses your head.

"And I, you." You muster a faint smile but it's the fear-stricken warriness and tears that tell him enough.

He presses a palm against your cheek, gently wiping a tear that falls down your face. He retracts it without another word other than. "Take care of her, Bertie."

"She's in good care, Lord Guildford." With a swift exit, Guildford's footsteps grow distant.

Bertie bows and watches as Guildford closes the bedroom door behind him. With you now tucked in bed, and your husband's worried features no longer in sight, you drop the pretense of being fine. You turn to your side and sob into your pillow.

Bertie walks over and sits on the bed by you. A sympathetic look on her face. She gently threads her fingers through your greasy hair. "He only does it because he cares for you." She says.

"I-I know…" Your tears don't stop as you continue to weep. Bertie continues to run her fingers through your hair in an attempt to soothe you, all the while shushing you quietly.

-

Guildford had kept his word. Only half a day's worth of traveling. The night turned into day rather quickly than you remembered. Bertie tended to you as you helplessly waited for him.

You could hear the horse that you both owned neigh in the distance. It had urged you to sit up in bed. The creature signals their arrival. You had yet to see the barn yourself. Guildford and Rupert had but all dissolved any ideas of you visiting the horse. Telling you to remain in the house. To the gardens, but never the barn, ensuring there was nothing but unpleasant welcomes from the beast itself. You did shiver at that. You could imagine your shoes stepping in something disgusting.

You didn't know where the newfound energy derived from but you were glad the nausea hadn't taken over your want to see your husband, to greet your friend upon their safe return. It was a mere thought of consciousness before you scurried to dress yourself into somewhat of a decent household lady. You hadn't concerned yourself much about your rat's nest of hair. Leaving it be in its wild manner. You had just about slipped your right shoe on before Bertie entered with a tray of breakfast.

"You should be resting!"

"I'm feeling much better Bertie-" You promised as your foot was now securely settled in its place.

"Nonsense come, get those shoes off your feet deary before the master sees ya-"

"That is what I venture out to seek Bertie. Guildford and Jane have returned and since I've never been to the barn. Well, I thought it best to accomplish two wishes in one venture rather than two, so don't mind me, Bertie. I'll be back in time to help set the table for breakfast. Surely the two of them or hungry and worked themselves an appet-"

"No, no, no, my lady!" Bertie's shrill shriek halts your words and feet. She carefully places the food down and stomps over to you. "You have been vomiting your body weight consistently for the past week and you wish to see a horse?? I thought you more clever than that." She grabs the comforter and begins to remove the old ones. “My Lady, I implore you to rest." Bertie's usually meek demeanor changed to a firm tone, the tray of food forgotten in favor of fixing up the bed. Guildford had specifically told her to take care of you. "Master Guildford will be very unhappy with me if he finds you in this state outside and he– My Lady you have not bled…"

"Pardon?" You whip around to face Bertie who removed the sheets from the bed to exchange them for new ones. "Bertie?" Your eyes fall onto the clean, non tainted sheets They were still white. Surely there had to be a reasonable explanation for why they were white. It was only just last month before that you bled. So why hadn't you- you hadn’t bled last month…

You had missed a month. No. It couldn’t be. Surely.

Bertie continues exchanging the blankets, but her eyes are fixed on the sheets in her hands. She was just as shocked as you. How many days have you missed? A few more? “My Lady…?”

“I’m with…child?” Your eyes linger with unspilled tears. Your hands and arms move independently, naturally placed upon your stomach. You look down at your nonexistent bump then up to Bertie.

Her hand came to her mouth in shock, her eyes widening to look into yours. The sheets fall from her hand and land on the floor. “-By the Gods-“ She scurries over to you and pulls you into an embrace. “My Lady-“ She exclaims, trying to keep her voice down. “We must have a real doctor come immediately. We must have a physician look you over. You have missed a month, my Lady. Perhaps two. This will not go unnoticed by the Master. We must tell him of the ne-”

“N-No.” You shake your head.

Bertie pulls away from the embrace. She grabs your forearms, the grip is nothing painful but you can tell she is attempting to keep you from swaying in place. “My Lady? Why not? This is the happiest of news. A child. A product of yours and Master Guildford’s love. Why would you want to keep this from him?”

“I… I don’t know. But I’d rather it be confirmed with Lady Jane than to give him false hope.” You give into her, in hopes she’ll believe you. You aren’t entirely sure you know the reason yourself for not wanting to tell him. You two were newly wedded. Surely he’d find your situation a damper on your honeymoon. Right?

Bertie considers this for a moment. You look exhausted. Not to mention you still were unwell and had lost all color to your face.

“I-“ She shakes her head. “Very well, we can confirm with Lady Jane first, then tell Master Guildford. But I beg of you, do not work yourself into the ground, my Lady. Allow me to do all the chores that require your energy. Do not lift a single thing.”

“Alright…” You muster a faint smile and nod before you grab your robe and head out of the room.

You begin your walk to the barn. The journey is long given the property is quite sizeable, and your legs almost buckle with every step you take. The thought of pregnancy was still reeling in your head, making your steps heavier. Your stomach churns with the feeling of nausea that still hasn’t gone away, and the nerves of the conversation you were about to have made you queasier. Would Guildford be thrilled? Would he want a child early into your marriage?

Finally, the large structure of the barn comes into view. As you get closer, you can hear the neigh of the horse growing louder with every step you take. The anxiety was building with every step. You were a mix of excitement and nervousness. You were about to speak upon swinging the barn door open but the voice of Jane fills your ears.

"We cannot keep hiding this from her Guildford. She is your wife and my dearest friend. I despise the idea of her remaining in the dark about this secret. If you won't tell her then I will!"

“-You will do no such thing!” Guildford rebuts defiantly, his usually calm nature quickly dissolving. You step closer to the barn doors and listen to their conversation that clearly was not meant for your ears. You hear Guildford release a tired and weary huff. His words are a whisper but they cut through the space. “This is my concern alone. I’ll talk to her about it later-” But he is interrupted by the firm tone of Jane.

“When will that be? Years from now? When she’s well and pregnant with your child?” Jane retorts, her voice stern. “This is not just your secret, Guildford. It involves your wife. Someone who deserves to know the truth about her own husband.” You wince at her words. The nausea feeling from before had returned.

“You are no better than me in this regard!” Guildford argued back. You can hear the agitation in his voice as it rises. “I want to tell her as much as you do. But given the state I have seen her in these last few days, I worry my words will bring more harm than good!”

A pause. You press against the cold wood of the barn door. Listening to the conversation unfolding inside. The muffled voices of your husband and your closest friend fill the space. Another huff from Guildford. “I don’t want to hurt her."

“And you won’t.” You hear Jane say. Her voice was calmer than before. “She’ll understand your circumstance. Your reasons. You underestimate her love for you.”

You sink your back into the wall as their voices grow closer to the door. “I love her, Jane. I’ve always loved her.” You hear Guildford exclaim. The door pushes wide open. You see him run his hands through his hair. He’s stressed. You can hear the strain in his voice. “But if I tell her. If she finds out what I am…” Your breath hitches in your throat. “…I’m afraid she won’t forgive me.”

You are stunned and stuck in place, leaning on the wall for support. You could sense the despair and anguish in Guildford’s words. It broke your heart, knowing he was holding something so deeply inside him, unable to tell you the truth. You want to step in, to confront the two, but your legs suddenly feel weaker than ever, a wave of nausea passing over your body.

"Make your way back to the house. Y/n should still be in bed for you to examine her. Let me know of her condition when I get back!" Guildford begins to walk.

“Where are you going?” You hear Jane inquire from inside the barn.

"I need to clear my head before I am to see her."

You hadn't expected what was to come next. You hadn't expected it at all. Your feet moved on its own accord as Guildford transformed into a….a horse. Your eyes widened in shock, in fear of the unknown and what presented itself before you. No longer was your husband, now stood a brown beautiful steed. "Guildford…?"

The sight was almost incomprehensible. One moment, your husband was there, his back turned to you with his head in his hands, and the next- there stood a horse. A magnificent, tall chestnut steed whose body stood where Guildford once did. You wanted to move. To yell out. But the shock rooted you to the spot. Only your thoughts raced around your mind.

You take another step forward, trying to keep your balance and regain your breath. Your head was spinning with all the information you took in. Guildford is different. A creature. Something otherworldly who was afraid of hurting you.

Guildford, or rather, the horse, perks their head up towards you. His ears are alert and focused in your direction. You couldn't read his expression. A neigh ripples out of him as he steps closer to you. Your legs were trembling even more now, threatening to give out any second. Before you know it your knees met the ground harshly. You gasp as Jane and Guildford react quickly.

“Y/n!” Jane comes in from behind you. But you were more entranced by the yellow hue and transformation of your husband. The horse had knelt on its front legs before your husband's face was in your line of sight once again.

“I…I don’t understand.” You whisper, your hands reaching out to caress his face. He places his palms over yours keeping them steady and close. He nestles into your palms.

He tries to speak but stumbles over his words, shocked by your presence. His eyes darted over your body. You looked terrible. Your hair was in disarray, and with eyes, tired and red. Yet you were the most beautiful thing in his eyes, but you looked as if you could fall over with just a gentle nudge. One of his palms slipped and touched your stomach. You shuddered at the feeling. He then touched your face with his other palm.

Your breath hitched in your throat as his warm hand touched your cheeks. It was soft and smooth, yet calloused with years of experience and swordplay. His gaze was intense, but something in his eyes showed him to be conflicted. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again, as if in confusion. He had so much to say to you but just didn’t know how to. "My love…won't you say something?”

You can't tear your eyes from him. You were supposed to be resting in bed, tending to the nausea that had plagued you. Yet here you were, in the barn, staring at your husband who had somehow transformed into a horse. You see his eyes dart across your face, studying every feature of yours. He was afraid. Terrified of your response.

You wanted to say so much. You wanted to yell at him. To hit him. To cry and ask him why he would keep such a secret to himself. But looking into his eyes, all you saw was the pain that was within their depths. All you saw was the love he had for you. "I-" You attempt to say but the nausea in your belly suddenly makes an appearance. Bile rises in the back of your throat. The familiar taste of acid burned your tongue.

You feel the contents of your stomach travel back up your throat. Guildford’s eyes widen in fear at the realization of what’s coming. He knows what's about to happen. He moves to grab you, to hold your hair out of your face but you turn your head away to the side and vomit on the ground.

Tears spill down your face as you lean back against him for support. Guildford brushes back your hair. Shushing and reassuring you that everything is all right. "I think I'm pregnant…and you're Ethian." You exhale deeply. Closing your eyes for a moment's worth of rest.

Both Guildford and Jane are stunned into silence. Neither of them knows what to say. The air is filled with a heavy density. You can feel Guildford behind you, his hands still around your face. You try to make eye contact, and he turns you back around to face him. “You’re…pregnant? With…With our child?” He asks hesitantly. The question was posed almost as if he couldn’t believe that you said it.

"You've kept your Ethianism a secret this entire time..." You muster. Your fingers trace across his bottom lip. Guildford places a kiss on your fingertips in response.

Guildford looks down in shame. “I-Yes, I did.” He looks up again, his expression pleading. “I was afraid that if you found out, you’d detest me. That you would be revolted at who I truly was.” He reaches out again, to caress your face. "My love, you just said you might be pregnant…you are with child?"

You want to cry, to scream, to laugh hysterically. But Guildford’s words ring through your ears and you can tell the desperation and worry behind them. You could also see his surprise at just how calm your demeanor currently was. The situation was so absurd. You weren't even sure how to feel right now. "Bertie…she believes so." You daze off. "My sheets were still white this morning...It appears I've missed my monthly bled." Guildford huffed in disbelief, but his expression never faltered with delight.

You feel him lean his head down to rest his forehead against yours. His breaths mix with yours making you dizzy, yet you want to relish in the moment of him being so close. He pulls you in against him, his arms wrapping around you, a kiss against your cheek displaying his love, his affection for you. He’s warm and familiar. Home. “You’re with child...” He whispers again into your hair, his voice shaky and thick with emotion.

His hands brush your hair away from your face and neck, his lips placing soft kisses against your forehead, your cheeks, your jaw. The warm breath you feel against your skin is a comfort. You can't help but feel small though, can't help the fear that stirs within you. "You're not upset over the news?"

Your question halts his kisses that were on your skin. You feel him pull away just so he can look at you. “Upset? How could I be upset? This is a gift, a blessing.” He says with disbelief lacing his words. His hands never leave your face, keeping you angled at him. You can see the tears welling at the corners of his eyes. "I am overjoyed. Overjoyed beyond belief." He replies, his voice shaky with emotion. "I love you." He declares just like he's done time and time again.

"And I, you." Tears prickle from your eyes now.

He is taken by your reaction. Guildford pulls you closer to him. You could hear the rapid beat of his heart against your ear. “I don’t deserve you.” He mumbles into your shoulder. You can tell he means it, but you scoff at the absurd statement. Pulling away slightly, looking directly at him with intense determination behind your eyes. "Are you upset with me, for not telling you I'm Ethian?"

"No. I am just sorry you couldn't find the comfort you sought out, with me, enough for you to tell me. I'm not mad you could find that comfort in telling Jane." You reassure them with a timid smile. You glance over to Jane, extending your hand out for her to grasp.

Jane looks at you dumbfounded. She expected yelling. She expected screaming, tears, and sobs. Yet you had said nothing more than a few words. You were calm. Jane grabs your outstretched hand, giving it a warm and comforting squeeze. The air is still filled with a sense of uneasiness but she offers a kind smile.

Guildford pulls away. You feel his hands leave your body and you suddenly feel very alone without them. You suddenly become afraid that he’s going to leave.

"I should have told you." He exhaled deeply, the words coming out more like a statement of fact than an apology. "I should have told you. I knew it wasn’t fair to you. But I was afraid of your reaction. Afraid of what you might think of me. Afraid of how you might look at me, knowing that deep down I was a beast." He confesses, and you feel a tug at your heart as his words ring in your ears. "I should have known better…'cause even after knowing, you aren't afraid of me. You still look at me with love. You are the most fearless, stubborn, determined, strong, beautiful woman I know.” He reaches out to hold your face in his hands once more. "You are my wife, my love. The woman carrying our child. And you don’t look at me any differently. You don’t run in fear. Yet I did. I was a fool to think you’d detest me. That the news would disgust you. But here you are as beautiful and sweet and loving as you have always been. You forgive me in a heartbeat.” He runs his thumb across your cheeks to wipe away the tears that had spilled down your face, but new ones had formed at his words.

"You are a fool." You breathe out a laugh. As you place your hands over his to keep them in place.

"Well, I for one, second it!" Ah yes, Jane was still here. You breathe out a laugh as you both turn to look at her. She raises her hand in greetings, knowing you'd forgotten about her, but she was well alright with it. She adored Guildford's love declaration for you. "Guildford you continue to surprise me with your poetic...dialect."

Guildford rolls his eyes. He was used to being teased and ridiculed by his best friend. His hands grip yours tight as he moves closer to you again. His fingers intertwine with yours. He brings your knuckles up to kiss them softly. "My love, I think it best to head to the house. Let Jane give you a proper examination, for certainty."

You nod in agreement, your mind already spinning at the thoughts swirling through your mind. You were with child. With Guildford’s child. You were carrying the next heir of the Dudley line.

Guildford offers his arm for you to hold on to, and you gladly take it. He leads you over to the house, with Jane in tow behind. The walk to the house was quiet. No one spoke, everyone was too wrapped up in their thoughts to even try. You felt Guildford rub his thumb over the back of your hand. He occasionally looks at you with a smile, as if he can’t believe everything that just happened. You feel his hands constantly squeeze yours. The gesture was his way of reassuring you.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I was hoping you would say that..."

Guildford stops in his tracks, causing you to stop as well. He turns to look at you. He brings his hand up to the side of your face, the pad of his thumb caressing your lower lip. "I could never leave you. Not in a millennium."

“I'd hope not.” You breathe a laugh. Your smile graced him. Your eyes crinkle at the corners. He can’t help but mirror yours.

As you arrive at the front door, Guildford opens it for you, letting you and Jane walk in first. He looks at you with a smile before following you through, closing the door promptly behind him. “You’re stuck with me, love.”

[msdk-00]

tagged by @cookiesonfire

tagging @birth-movies-death cuz u have many beautiful and strange things in your room

[pommur]

Simon and Betty genderbend be like:

Simone when giving birth: Just put my hand on your face my sweet prince, it’ll be the last thing I’ll ever feel.

Berty: Honey, the baby is already out. Your holding her…

Simone: … I just crammed another human being out of my clown hole for you. Let me be dramatic! *pouts*

Berty: Okay, okay. What ever you want, sweetie. *takes her hand and sets it on his face* *has the desire to say their inside joke of ‘don’t be a wimp’ which he frequently tells her but would never say it during such an event*

Simone: Aren’t you gonna say the thing, Berty? *sweaty and looks like she’s going to cry*

Berty softly: Oh, honey. Don’t cry, don’t be a wimp.

Simone: *sniffles* I love you. *happy but emotionally charged crying*

Hospital Staff: *angrily stares at Berty*

Berty: … I swear I’m not picking on her. Well not today… I would die for her… Please don’t kick me out. *is nervous*

Simone after squeezing out their child:

Berty after all the nurses start glaring at him:

[tadokorochann]

And Happy Valentine's Day!!

It's throwin me back to my headcanons about Bertie really enjoying cooking with his partner. That quality time and creating something you both can enjoy. So I feel like he'd get you tickets to for a couple's chocolate making class and you get to choose the flavors and how you want to shape and decorate them together!

THAT MAKES MY HEART SO HAPPY 💙

It’d be such a sweet little class and he’d try so hard but probably be a little clumsy because he wants to make good chocolates so much it makes him nervous and sweaty. I feel like the end result on them could vary and that Bertie might be overly critical of what he made no matter what. Only to get all red in the face and shy when you eat every single one 🥺 and then you feed him chocolates as well and he feels so fuzzy and warm inside and it’s just. So sweet 🥺

[bgso4]

merely curious how other people feel about this

[quiveringdeer]

Thoughts from reading over Bertie's wiki last night.

This sentence and one later describing Reiner fighting back/holding off one of the smaller Pure Titans during the Utgard Castle seige, had me curious if titan shifters maintain any small traits from the titan they embody?

Like does Bert being the Collosal Titan impact is temperature, making him sweat more? (I know this most likely isn't the case cause I'm sure with more focus on them as kids in the manga he probably had the sweaty traits before getting the titan but let me convolute canon okay?)

And then, does Reiner get a strength and body muscle mass boost from inheriting the Armor Titan? Cause seriously, what was that ridiculous growth spurt he went through in the couple years between them arriving on Paradis and them joining the scouts? (I mean I guess he was 10...12? originally so of course he's gonna be tiny anyway and guys do tend to have huge shifts once puberty hormones hit, but like sheeeeesh!)

Could this be the reason that Eren is always extra aggro and ready to throw down?? (lmao the more I type these hypotheticals the more holes pop up in this theory cause he was like that before Grisha gave him the titan but still!)

Anywho, just random theories with little actual evidence and needed to get it out of my head.

[madelgard]

Tag people you'd like to know better

Thank you @klarionthewizard and @neumh for the tag!

Three ships:  Conan Antonio Motti/Tiaan Jerjerrod (Star Wars), Bertie Wooster/Bingo Little (P.G. Wodehouse stories), Henry IV/Richard II (Shakespeare's Henriad plays)

First ship:  It was probably Goku/Vegeta from DBZ. I need to wear the Cone of Shame.

Last song:  "Tevye's Dream" from Fiddler on the Roof

Last movie: Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

Currently reading:  The Plantagenets: The Warrior Kings and Queens Who Made England by Dan Jones. Also a lot of fic, with the most recent being The Dance of the Seven Veils by marketchippie (Measure for Measure fic, Isabella/Angelo).

Currently watching:  Summer's Lease rewatch time let's fucking goooo

Last thing I wrote:  Poked a bit at this Thrawn/Piett and Motti/Jerjerrod thing centered around the idea that the Chiss gain a sort of seasonal plushness that results in a thicker Thrawn:

Into Piett’s suite aboard the Chimaera, Thrawn and Motti stepped into view. That they had just returned from the exercise suite was obvious. Stripped to their undershirts and trousers, their tunics were off—Thrawn’s held under one bulky, bare arm, Motti’s slung carelessly over his shoulder—and both men had a light sheen to their skin, as though they’d just stepped out of the showers. Thrawn’s gaze swept the room, landing, as it always did, squarely on Piett. Exercise effused him with a lively flush, a bruised and purpling blue darkening the high ridges of his cheeks. It made his smile very white indeed. “Firmus,” he said happily. The bass-baritone of his voice was all warmth. “You will be pleased to know that Conan Antonio and I are now at a three-g pull in the heavy gravity room. The added resistance is most gratifying.” With a cackle, Motti crossed the room and plopped himself onto the sofa adjacent Piett’s, flush against Jerjerrod. “Gratifying is one word for it.” He slung an arm around Jerjerrod’s shoulders, tugging him closer. “I’d say it’s sweaty business, actually,” he murmured, very near to Jerjerrod’s ear. It was spoken murky and low, but unfortunately still audible to the rest of them. “Very sweaty. Maybe you’d like a demonstration, Tiaan.” At Motti’s drawl, Jerjerrod shuddered. His cheeks had pinkened considerably. “That doesn’t interest me in the slightest.” Thrawn sat down next to Piett, so near that their legs touched. His thighs were large, and solid, and hot enough that Piett couldn’t help but press up against him. “That does not surprise me,” he said, frowning at Jerjerrod. “You have no aptitude for athletics.” Jerjerrod bristled, but Motti laughed. “He’s plenty athletic. Why, just last night, he demonstrated a remarkable degree of flexibility when he—” “Conan!” Jerjerrod hissed. He’d gone scarlet. “That’s private!” “Firmus is athletic,” Thrawn announced to no one in particular. “Notably athletic, considering his size. We enjoy a daily run together, prior to our shift.” “Running’s boring,” Motti declared. His hand had dropped from Jerjerrod’s shoulder to sling around his waist. He’d taken to rubbing mean little half-circles in the indent of Jerjerrod’s hip, and Jerjerrod, for his part, had gone rigid. Staying upright seemed to be requiring all his attention. “Unless you’re being chased. What d’you think, Ti? Want to chase me down the hall?” Jerjerrod’s answer was breathless. “I suppose you’d quite like me to hunt you down.” “Mhmm, like an animal.” “Like a dog.” “Bring me to heel, sweetheart.” “Don’t think I won’t,” Jerjerrod muttered. He was staring at Motti’s mouth, and Motti, in turn, looked to be about a half second away from hauling Jerjerrod directly into his lap. Disaster was imminent. Piett had suffered such a collision before, and had no intention of witnessing it again. Not in his quarters; the sofa was far too cumbersome to clean. “So,” he said, loudly enough that Jerjerrod jerked his head in alarm. He seemed surprised to find Piett still in the room. “Perhaps we ought to, uh, part ways....” “An excellent idea,” Jerjerrod said at once. He stood quickly, towing Motti up by the elbow. “We have—ah, that is, there’s... there’s flimsiwork Conan and I need to review, in our, ah, his quarters.” “Is it a big stack of flimsiwork, Tiaan?” Conan was grinning. “Large? A lot to handle? Would you say it's thick—” With a snarl, Jerjerrod dragged him away, Motti still needling him even as the blaster doors slid shut. In their absence quiet filled the room, pleasantly oppressive. And to Piett’s side, Thrawn was scorching.

Currently writing:  The Wedding Night chapter of my Motti/Jerjerrod marriage fic, Pale Veils and Silk:

Throat dry, he darted a glance at Conan’s face, and his stomach performed its familiar flip. Husband. Husband. Husband. Conan was grinning at him. “What’s on your mind, Ti?” “Nothing,” he said at once, so immediately guilty that Conan barked out a laugh.

Tagging @retro-hussy, @alexx-dax, and @shakespeareaddict

[for-valour]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐒𝐒. I hope you all have a wonderful 2023 and reach all your goals and make all your dreams come true :) Bertie’s gonna help motivate you, just look at him go! <3

Matobo National Park, Zimbabwe. Part of the 1947 Royal Tour of South Africa. gif made by @for-valour

[sanyuuu]

⩩ pov: they're developing their first dirty thoughts about you ( part 1 )

including: eren, armin, reiner, bertholdt, jean, levi, miche, erwin

warnings: smut, nsfw, a bit of chocking, shower sex, mating press position, mention of giving head, creampie, neutral gender reader, mdni ( 18+ only )

a/n: Thanks for your request! I'm kinda nervous because it's my first one, hope you'll like it! :D

⟳Eren :

- I think Eren knows what he's doing ngl--

- When he will develop his very first dirty thoughts about you, his eyes will literally devour your body💀

- He'll think of the way you'll squirm under his touch, finger grazing against your heated flesh while his shaft will pound into you, hitting that sweet spot of yours again and again until you'll become a cumming mess.

- He will not be the type of man to tell you about his thoughts, he'll rather be the type to admire you from afar.

⟳Armin :

- HEAR ME OUT HE'S EVIL DRESSED IN SHEEP CLOTHES--

- As your friend, you probably think of Armin as a cute little guy, always willing to help others, giving bright smiles and being so quiet.

- BUT THERE'S A REASON WHY HE'S SO SO QUIET 💀

- Since a couple of weeks, he started to think of you in a different way a friend should think: in his thoughts, you're no longer his sweet friend but the sexiest person he ever met.

- He'll try to take a glance of your breast/chest whenever your shirt is slightly opened, or his will insist on the way your short hugs tightly your thighs. But unfortunately, he will not tell you about this 😔🤟

⟳Jean :

- This cocky mf--

- Whereas Eren and Armin will hide their thoughts aways from you, Jean will try to make an approach.

- It all started one night, when he surprised himself waking up from a dirty dream he had about you. you were pinned down under him, on his bed, folded in a mating press position as Jean ruted against you, shoving his cock deeper each time he trusted into you.

- So as I said, he'll try to tell you about it, but oh boy he'd be so shy about it-- 💀

⟳Bertholdt :

- dbdhxjdk baby <3

- when he had his very first dirty thought about you, he was intensely looking at you while you were doing your work, slowly imagining how you would feel around his cock and how your tongue would feel against his.

- when he realized what he have just imagined, he turned as red as a tomato, thinking that it was a really bad thing </3

- Ofc he will not talk about what he imagined to you, but everytime you'll walk past him, he will become a sweaty mess 😔

⟳Reiner :

- HAS A DIRTY MIND FOR SURE. He's just better than Berty to hide it, sorry not sorry-

- he will start to think of you in a dirty way after a long session of training, when he sees your skin covered with a thin layer of sweat, wishing you were in his bed, sweat covering your body with a mixture of both his cum and your arousal.

- He'll think that this is weird, but this thought will hunt him at night.

- As for Jean, Reiner will try to talk to you about that, but he will keep on losing his words and just knock it off by pretexting a call from Bertholdt.

⟳Mike :

- ANOTHER DIRTY MIND, LIKE 100% IDC.

- Y'all think he is just a serious man who sniff people fromt time to time, but he's more than that. 😩

- You'll be in his mind since a while, and he got interested in you, especially since he got his first dirty thought about you.

- It started one time when you had to reach something in the fridge, bending over to grab a bowl of strawberries. It was a quick action, but it was long enough for Mike to imagine a lot of things he could do to you when you'll be alone.

- As his eyes lingered over your exposed thighs, he would think of the way they would circle around his face while he'll pleasure your clit/cock.

- He would eventually try to tell you about this when he'll be sure nobody will disturb you.

⟳Erwin :

- I think he's not dirty minded, but that's what he wants you to think of him. 🤡

- Behind his serious behaviour, Mr.Smith hides a lot of desire when it comes to you, especially since that day when he almost saw you completely naked.

- You were heading out of the shower, and Erwin needed to drop some papers in your bedroom, and unfortunately, he came across you, his eyes glued on your body, glistening with drops of water.

- Since that day, Erwin couldn't stop thinking of taking you in his shower, your poor little body pressed against the shower glassed-wall. ( does it even make sense?? )

⟳Levi :

- HE'S ERWIN'S TWIN, BUT PUT A LITTLE BIT OF SPICE 👁️👄👁️🔥

- You know Levi as someone who's a bit cold, you never had a concrete talk with him, but whenever he have the chance to see you, he develops little scenarios when he clearly sees himself fucking his loads into you, his middle and ring finger deep in your mouth, avoiding you from making noises that could alert the others.

- One time, Erwin had to call his name multiple times before bringing him to earth.

- but still, he will not talk about his little thoughts with you.

[malacandrax]

A sweaty butch, as a treat

(An OC- Bertie/Bertha, she/her)

[skrunklybf-archived]

hi Rory 🥺👉👈 if you’re up for it could you try “Always finding excuses to stay with each other” from the prompt list with Bertholdt?

: ̗̀➛ ❝ 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚕𝚊𝚖𝚎! ❞

𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: bertholdt x reader

𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: oblivious pining prompts, i give bertie a heart attack in everything i write him in oops, fluff fluff

hi tado baby <3 hehe sorry this took a lil bit i just saw it in my inbox!! ily!!

𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍!

it wasn't easy being part of a package deal in the friend group you had.

the teasing? relentless. the jokes? occasionally obscene (thanks, zeke). but as much as your friends liked to grate your nerves and render your twin flame a sputtering mess, they meant well; at least, most of them did. you couldn't be bothered to explain your friendship with bertholdt for what would've been the millionth time -- so you let them think whatever they wanted to. but, you had to admit... you did do everything together.

you thought about this as your giant of a best friend gingerly handed you your go-to coffee order.

"do we look like a couple?"

and he paused, eyes growing a little wide as you examined him. "i, uh... what do you mean?"

you sipped your drink, relaxing back into the passenger seat. this was a typical morning, if neither of you had to work: get coffee, drive around, maybe hit up a farmers market or just be lazy in one of your homes. bertholdt shifted into drive and, with twitchy fingers, steered you both toward the apartment he shared with your other friend, reiner.

"well, y'know, everyone says we're together, even though we're not. i was just wondering..." you trailed off, shrugging noncommittally, and watched his chest rise and fall a little deeper than before.

bert glanced at you from the corner of his eye. a few moments of comfortable quiet passed before he opened his mouth to speak his piece. "well, i... can kind of see where they're coming from, i-i guess. we hang out a lot."

you smiled a bit. "you know everything i'll order everywhere we go."

"that's because you get the same thing every time."

"not the point!"

bertholdt chuckled, smoothing over a turn in the road. he reached deftly at the center console for his drink. "i guess it doesn't help that you come see me at work, too." but, instead of the plastic lid, his fingers found yours. he only halted for a moment before quickly grabbing his coffee and busying his lips with it.

you hummed. "well, they can think what they want," and when he returned the cup back into his holder, you stole his hand before it could grasp the wheel again, "i don't really care. i just like spending time with you."

his mouth dried up. he hoped to whatever higher power that you wouldn't feel just how sweaty his hands were getting. "i like spending time with you, too."

by the time you reached his apartment, a flush had developed over bertholdt's face that refused to budge. he opened the front door for you, as always, but reiner's curious gaze felt heavy, heavier than usual as you both strolled inside. you seemed nonchalant, breezing past the blonde with a simple greeting, but bertholdt remained rigid as he trailed behind, following much like a lost puppy in a daze.

reiner arched a brow, finding this much more entertaining than the local news that drawled on in the background.

"did i miss something?" he asked, looking pointedly at his roommate. bertholdt shrunk under his watchful eye.

"nothing new." you quipped back. smiling, you grabbed for bertholdt's hand and began to drag him away toward his room, your home away from home and shared fortress of solitude. "later, rei."

the men exchanged glances: one playful, one sheepish.

"later, lovebirds."

[fraiserabbit]

❤️+💙?

Bertie grabbed the heart shaped card and small giftbox from his dashboard and ran to Tidmouth, not even bothering to lock his car. He hadn’t even bothered to change out of his uniform. There was only one thing – one man – on his mind. He began running out of breath, but he’d made it. He was standing right outside his house. The lights were still on, and voices could be heard from inside. Bertie had no time to catch his breath. He knocked on the door, and waited.

The tall man at the door wasn’t exactly who he was expecting. “Bertie? What business do you have being here this late?” Gordon was standing there in a pink bathrobe, complete with matching house slippers. He crossed his arms, eyeing the bus driver suspiciously.

“Um…Is…Thomas here?” Bertie sheepishly grinned.

Gordon rolled his eyes, walking back into the house. “Your little friend is here, Thomas! And I don’t mean Percy.”

Bertie awkwardly stood there, unsure if the open door was an invitation from Gordon. Better not risk it. He smoothed out the front of his uniform and readjusted his cap, fidgeting with the box and card behind his back. Thomas suddenly appeared at the door, startling him. “Bertie! Didn’t expect you here!” The man pulled his friend into a hug, instinctively kissing him on the cheek. “Uh- that’s- that’s just something I do.” Thomas nervously laughed, stepping back and inviting Bertie into the house. Oh, the marvellous shade of red Bertie’s face had turned at that moment!

“Actually, Thomas…erm…” Bertie could barely hold his composure. “Could we step outside for a bit instead? Maybe take a walk?”

“Well, sure!” Thomas grabbed a nearby coat and shut the door.

As the two men walked through the near-empty streets, Bertie was careful not to let Thomas see what was in his hand. They chatted about mundane things, enjoying each other’s company. Until the subject of Valentine’s Day came up. Thomas shook his head. “Too busy to worry about love today. Pity. I was psyching myself up to ask someone out for so long, too.” He laughed. “Now I’ll have to wait for next year!”

“Why wait for next year?” Bertie tilted his head.

Thomas held a hand to his chest with a crooked smile. “I’m not brave enough.”

Bertie felt the box in his hand slipping in his sweaty palms. They continued walking in silence. He occasionally looked over at Thomas, who was staring thoughtfully at the ground. Finally, he broke the silence. “Who were you going to ask?”

“As if I’d tell you!”

Bertie grinned back. “How about we race for the answer? Back to your place? If I win, you have to tell me.”

“Well, that’s an offer I can’t refuse. Alright, let’s start from…” Thomas looked around, then pointed at a nearby lamppost. “There!”

They both took their positions. When Thomas finished the countdown, Bertie bolted forward. His shoes pounded the pavement, his hand tightly gripping the giftbox as he swung his arms. He could feel the card in his other hand crinkling in his grasp. He hoped Thomas couldn’t see it as he zoomed around the corner, pure concentration in his eyes. However, he’d underestimated how exhausted he was from his earlier sprint. His legs began slowing down. Thomas was just behind him, swiftly catching up.

“What’s wrong, Bertie? Getting tired?” Thomas smirked, now neck-and-neck with him.

Bertie’s mind began racing. He was desperate to know. He had to know. What if I’m wasting my time here? And he doesn’t like me? Bertie shifted his posture, lowering his head, and ran for his life. He’d managed to pull ahead of Thomas!

“Wait, watch where you’re-”

Bang! Bertie felt a jolt of pain as he collided into a lamppost and fell. His hands shot up to his aching head, dropping the box and card to the ground. He silently writhed around in pain as Thomas slowed down to a stop. “Bertie?” Thomas kneeled beside him and placed a hand on his friend’s back, worried.

“Agh…I lost.” Bertie sighed in defeat, taking his cap off and rubbing his head. The pain dulled, and Bertie smiled at Thomas. “Looks like I’ll never know.”

“Oh, Bertie! I’m not worried about the race anymore! I just want to know if you’re okay.” Thomas sat down on the ground. Then he noticed the bright pink card. “Hey now…what’s this?”

“What’s what?” Bertie saw Thomas picking the card up, his eyes widening. “Wait!” He tried to swipe it out of Thomas’ hand, but the man was too fast.

“‘You make my heart race, and there’s no finish line.’” Thomas burst out laughing, his cheeks turning red. He covered his widening grin with a hand as he continued reading. “‘You’ve been the most wonderful part of my workdays, and what makes everything worth it. Be my Valentine?’ I never knew you were such a romantic! Who’s it for?” Bertie didn’t know if he wanted to answer. Then Thomas saw the giftbox, and pointed to it. “Aw, what’s that?”

“It’s…” Bertie took a deep breath, gathering courage. “It’s for you. It’s all for you.”

Thomas’ eyes widened. He pointed to himself, silently mouthing ‘me?’, before picking it up and turning it over in his hands. “Then…” He glanced at the card, blushing.

“I’ve been- uh- been meaning to tell you for a while now.”

Thomas smiled, shoving the unopened box and card in his coat pocket and lunging forward. He tightly hugged Bertie, peppering the man’s face with kisses. Bertie hugged Thomas back, laughing. When Thomas was finally done, he cupped Bertie’s face in his hands. “Turns out you didn’t lose anything tonight, Bertie! You won my heart.” He barely held back a laugh.

“Oh, c’mere, you!” Bertie finally pulled Thomas in for a sweet kiss. The two melted into each other’s arms, exchanging quiet proclamations of ‘I love you’.

[zaikaglow]

Boundaries

Pairing: Reiner x Reader, Bertholdt x reader

Summary: You Reiner and Bertholdt have been friends forever but recently you've entered a relationship with Reiner. Poor Bertholdt has been a love sick puppy but Reiner’s such a good friend that he doesn’t mind sharing! As long as Berty can stick to a few boundaries

Content Warnings: Male maturation, Oral-domming, overstimulation

The three of you had always been the best of friends. You, Reiner, and Bertholdt childhood friends from the same neighborhood who’d ride bikes and go adventuring through the woods. Best of friends even through highschool and even into college where you had all managed to go to the same place! You loved both those boys of course you did, you went to all their games and when Bertholdt’s basketball game or Reiner’s football game would come to an end you’d always be there to run out and interpret them before the locker room to give them a big hug not minding how sweaty and gross they were.

 The three of you were all happy with your little found family until sophomore year of college things began to change. It was at a house party the three of you had gone to together where Bertl had gone to get your purse for you when Reiner had finally made his move. Huddled in the corner by the fridge Reiner had placed his big palm against your cheek, leaned in and told you that he had liked you as more than friends for a long time and leaned in for a kiss that you reciprocated. Unbeknownst to the both of you Bertl was watching from across the room feeling his heart shatter into pieces watching Reiner kiss the girl he was in love with.

The three of you remained friends but things were much harder on Bertl than you and Reiner knew. He would never want to ruin his friends happiness but it felt like his heart was frequently being shattered over and over again. Like when Reiner’s games would finish and he’d watch you run out to give him a hug and Reiner would pick you up, swing you around and give you a deep kiss. You’d still go and hug Bertholdt after his games but he would just wrap both arms around you and place his chin on top of your head swinging softly wishing he would be able to pick you up and give you a kiss as you’d wrap your legs around his waist. But all he could do was inhale the scent from the top of your head and kick himself for not confessing before Reiner.

Sitting on the couch of Reiner and Bert’s shared apartment, Reiner was rubbing your shoulders in an attempt to make up for how hard he had pushed you at the gym this morning when Reiner had said “You know Bertl’s in love with you”. you sighed and looked down at your hands, this line of thought always bringing a twinge of guilt to your heart. You had feelings for Bert before the two of you had gotten together but Reiner had made the first move and you couldn't wait forever for Bert to get his nerves up. “I had a feeling that was the case” you utter “well if you might be open to it I wouldn’t mind you throwing him a bone” Reiner says “You mean you wouldn't mind him throwing me a bone?” you say smirking. “Ha ha you're a very funny kitten, I mean I have a few boundaries but I think it be something that I'd be into seeing. It’s not like I’ve never thought about doing something to him myself”.

It was Friday night, a time that was supposed to be movie night for the three of you but lately Bert had been sneaking off to his room to avoid them. Unable to keep taking in the sight of you wrapped in Reiner’s arms, nose nuzzling his neck while Bert was lucky if you rested your feet in his lap. Well tonight Bert figured he’d have time to stop by the fridge and grab some water before sneaking off to his room to avoid movie night but when he turned around he saw you with one hand against the wall and the other against the counter trapping him in the kitchen with no line of escape. “You’ve been avoiding me Bertl” You were wearing an oversized sweatshirt and some short sleep shorts along with some knee high socks. “You know it’s really been hurting my feelings” you say tilting your head down, Bert’s eyes widen a look of heartbreak crossing his face “I didn't mean to i'm really really sorry I-I can’t e-explain right now but-t I-im really sorry y/n” dropping your grip on the counter your make your way to the scared lanky boy placing your hands on on his chest moving up till you reach the collar of his basketball club jacket and pull him down to your eye level “make it up to me then?” your lips make contact with his and you can feel his bottom lip tremble between yours before he gently pushes you off before stumbling away back hitting the fridge and sinking down before placing his head in his hands “y/n” he groans “you don't even know how much I want that but Reiner’s my friend”. Then there's a laugh as Reiner comes out from his bedroom taking a seat on the couch “You have no idea how much I appreciate that Bert, but really it's okay. You and me just have to go over some ground rules first but I really don't mind”

The three of you are sitting on the couch, the two of them in their boxers and you now only in a pair of lace panties and knee highs. Reiner has his arm around Bert’s shoulder sitting next to him while you're on the ground kneeling between Bert’s knee’s. Both hand’s placed on Bert’s knees you slowly start to slide them up until they reach the waistband of his boxers pulling out his cock. It’s thick and long, slightly darker than the rest of skin, the fact that he’s uncircumcised makes the head of his cock already already glissaning. You start by where his dick meets his pelvis starting to kiss up it almost reaching the head when he places his hands on the top of your head “umm I think maybe you should’t do that because I’ll cum”  he looks embarrassed face starting to turn red “but uh can I. uh can I do something for you”? Reiner grabs you under the armpits picking you up to move you on the couch while Bertl exchanges places with you now getting on his knees. You lift your hips up sliding off your panties, Reiner taking them from you. You bring one leg up and hook a finger under your sock ready to take it off when Bert stutters out “A-actully c-can you k-keep those on” he says red flush spreading from his cheeks to his ears and chest. “Anything for you Berty” you say, spreading your legs placing your knees over his shoulders. His lids are heavy with lust as he moves his mouth to make contact with your warm wet core. You throw your head back as he starts to kiss and suck on your swollen nub, Reiner has a hand on the back of your neck with one hand the other is jerking himself off with the panties you removed, eyes trained on how Bertholdt’s tongue is moving against you. Your hands go to grip Bert’s thick black hair as you feel yourself coming undone at the way his tongue circles around your clit, that coil winding tighter and tighter in your core until it snaps. And when it does you yank him by his hair up to meet your lips, his lips and cheeks are wet with your release “Okay now fuck me Berty” his eye’s go wide and he slips his boxers off. You move towards the intersection of the couch laying down, placing one foot against the floor and propping the other up on the back of the couch. Bert climbs up to meet you and you can feel the weight of his thick cock on your tummy and you can feel the wet spot forming from his leaking head. He takes a look back at Reiner who’s starting to clean himself up with the same pair of panties he had been jerking himself off with “It’s okay Berty just remember what I told you” Bert nods at him before turning back to you. He kisses you as he takes his cock in his hand and lines it up with your entrance. When he slides in you gasp. It must be because he’s not circumcised like Reiner but the sensation is overwhelmingly smooth. It’s so warm and slick and feels so good when his wet head slides against your g-spot. You almost feel a little guilty at how much your enjoying the sensation. When you and Reiner do things bareback sometimes it could hurt from how dry his dick was compared to how slick you were, but things with Bert? They were just oh so smooth and oh so moan inducing. Your arms wrap around his neck holding him close and he’s kissing your neck when you feel yourself starting to reach your second orgasm “oh god oh okay I think i'm going to cum” and at the mention of your impending orgasm Bert can’t help but feel like he’s about to join you hips starting to stutter at every thrust. Reiner sits up a little “Bert? Remember what we talked about?” you can hear the annoyance in his voice but you just feel so good that you just can't seem to stop holding onto bertl and he cant stop his thrusting. He places a sloppy kiss on your cheek as he cums and you can feel the warmth pouring into you. Suddenly you feel him slide out of you and you notice Reiner is holding him by the hair one of his hands wrapped around Bert’s jaw “what did I tell you Bert”? The dark hair boy is panting and looks afraid as he says “Not to cum in her”

“And what did you just do”

“Finish inside her”

“Yeah you did and now you’re going to clean up the mess you made”. Reiner take’s Bertholdt’s hair and drags his face down to your leaking cunt. His tongue makes contact with your swollen hole and your legs start to shake at the overstimulation. “That’s right. You’re going to get her nice and cleaned up for me and then if you want the chance to as so much see her pretty tits again you're going to clean up after me to, you got that” Bert can only nod in agreement as he tries not to focus on the fact that he’s scraping out his own cum with his tongue from your cunt. Reiner pushes Bert out of the way, the poor dark haired boy catching himself on his elbows before his back hits the floor as Reiner pulls you up and onto his cock. “Mmm it's too much babe”. And it is you've already cum twice and now your big rough boyfriend is forcing you to ride his massive cock. “Come on kitten you can handle it” he says before his lips go to meet your tit. He’s licking up and down on your right nipple, his big calloused palm squeezing your left. When he hears you start to whimper again he moves his hands to your hips and start to move you up and down like his little fuck toy untill you feel his cock twitch inside you spilling his seed inside you and starts dripping down your thighs. Reiner breathes a sigh of relief before picking you up off his cock and gently placing you back into a sitting position on the couch. His hand gently picks up under your knees spreading your legs apart but you're too overstimulated to even process what's happening, head just lolling back against the couch.

“Now we've been friends for a long time Bert so Im willing to forgive, I might even let you fuck her again. But first your going to clean up the mess I just made”

[rhenuvee]

“Your Tip, Love.” (Fred Weasley x reader)

A/N: Can students get part-time jobs...? Idk but just go with it dude.

Taglist: @obsessedwithrandomthings​

-----------------------------------------------

Why did your mom tell you to get a job? You weren’t poor, nor was this to look good or have work experience. She just hated when you had nothing to do at Hogwarts. It didn’t have to be a good job, but your mom knew that if you didn’t have anything to do you’d die of boredom.

And that’s why you’ve been working at Honeydukes starting this year. On the contrary, standing in the middle of the shop and offering samples of candies seemed to lose your interest very quickly throughout the weeks. At least you got discounts on the candies. 

“(Y/n)! Could you get me a Bertie Bott’s every flavour beans- pretty please?” 

“No!”

Unfortunately, it was highly embarrassing when your friends burst into the shop and demanded free candies from you. Even worse if you see a classmate or someone you worked on an assignment with. Every Saturday, it was a ritual of you crossing your fingers and praying to every great wizard you didn’t see a familiar face and make it awkward.

This Saturday, it seemed to be going fairly well. The customers who were willing to try a sample were very nice, and no one you knew came in. Ahh, today was going to be-

“George hurry up!” 

You froze. You recognized that voice- you definitely spoke too soon. 

Fred Weasley, you definitely knew him, who wouldn’t? Famous prankster along with George and Lee. One of Gryffindor’s star beaters. And you for sure wouldn’t forget him after that one time you were paired with him to do that assignment in potions. 

You remember awkwardly walking to the table for you to work together. You felt sweaty- did you stand too far or too close to him? He did help you which was the opposite of his usual antics. Except you noticed from the corner of your eyes that he was grinning the whole time... why was this important?

You did not realize until your friend flat out told you- they thought you liked him, and that he liked you. They somehow noticed how smiley he was around you- which you did have to admit was out of place because y’all were in potions! And of course they saw your awkward and knew how clammy your hands would get when you were nervous. It was a day of relentless teasing.

But back to a present time problem- Fred, George and Lee had just walked into the store. They were bound to see you, you were practically a sitting duck. 

Your panic mode gave you three options:

Fight - “Hi Fred!” but who were you kidding, your confidence was level 0. 

Flight - Run away and have Mr. and Mrs. Flume scold you? Plus, wouldn’t that make you a tad dramatic?

Freeze - And then you could-

“Are those chocolate frogs?” asked Lee Jordan. You were snapped out of your thoughts and your face started to get hot instantly.

“Um, yeah would you like one?” you said shyly stretching out the tray of sweets.

“Free samples? Wicked.” The boys each took one chocolate frog from the tray and started to browse around the shop for any other sweets that interested them. 

You weren’t able to see Fred’s reaction to seeing you, but knowing that he didn’t say anything made you guess that he didn’t recognize you, or something along those line. You turned your head in the boys’ direction. They were distracted by the shelves of candies and were not making things awkward with you.

You sighed a breath of relief and checked the watch on your left wrist. Your shift was almost done, and you could finally return to your dorm and flop on the bed. 

The three boys paid for their treats and left the store. You took one last glance at them as they exited and then back to your watch.

“Hey (y/n).” You lifted your head to come to sight of Fred, who was in the middle of holding the door slightly open for himself.

“It was nice seeing you.” he said with a wink. With that he left, and you seemed to still be initiating the third panic mode option with your jaw dropped. Did Fred Weasley just say it was nice to see you?! 

The moment Mr. Flume bid you goodbye for the week, you bolted back to the castle immediately. 

---

It was another Saturday at Honeydukes. Fred had not said anything to you about last week, and you were grateful. Little did you know, that older Weasley twin had a plan.

“(Y/n)!” shouted your friend Maya. 

“Oh hi Maya!” you said surprised that she came to Honeydukes.

“Just wanted to visit, wouldn’t want you to be lonely.” she joked. You rolled your eyes playfully. You couldn’t deny it though, you did enjoy when your friends made a bit of time to be with you at your shift.

You were talking for a bit, until you saw who you did and did not want to see. You watched with wide eyes as Harry, Ron, Hermione and the twins entered the store. 

“Hey isn’t that Fred Weasley? The guy you get all nervous around?” she whispered in your ear. 

“Maya!” you scolded attempting to bump into her with your tray of sweets. 

“Oh I see how it is...” she winked in amusement of the scowl on your face. She then went to the shelves in the back.

“Maya where are you going?” you asked almost frantically.

“Hm? Oh nothing, these chocolates look really interesting...” she said clearly putting on an act to seem busy. You were definitely going to get her back for that.

“Are those sugar quills free samples?” asked a voice which made you turn your head back to the front. You came to face Ron Weasley, who you knew as the twins’ younger brother. 

“Yeah, feel free to take one.” You tried to sound less shaky, you hoped it worked. Ron’s eyes widened and started taking a few quills. 

“Ronald!” scolded Hermione hitting his arm. Ron was taken aback. “She said take one, not an all you can eat buffet!” 

“Alright I’m sorry!” Ron said slightly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, really!” you said trying to reassure them, you didn’t want to make it more weird. Hermione shook her head at him as Harry and the twins were snickering. They all parted ways within the store, except Fred didn’t budge.

“Sorry about my brother.” he said sheepishly.

“It’s fine, it’s no big deal anyway.” you said. Your heart was pounding, the fact that you uttered a full sentence to Fred was an accomplishment.

“What’s a girl like you doing, working at Honeydukes?” Fred asked while picking up one of your sugar quills. 

“Oh, my mom doesn’t like when I don’t have anything to do. I mean it’s fine really, I get a discount on candy.” you explained. “W-what about you?”

“Me? Well rumour has it that there’s a really cute girl who works at Honeydukes who displays the sweets every Saturday.” he said smirking. Your face went beet red- he was talking about you?!

“R-really...?” you asked attempting to sound oblivious.

“Yes, and she’s especially cute when she gets all quiet around me.” He was making you more embarrassed than intended. Way for him to call you out sis. You were about to say something, but the trio and George finished paying for their candies and were heading out.

“Fred, stop flirting, let’s go!” called George holding the door open for him. Your brain was going haywire- Fred Weasley flirting with you?? Fred chuckled.

“Be patient you prat.” George rolled his eyes in return. You watched as Fred fished in his pockets for coins and placed them on your display tray.

“Your tip, love.” he said. He bent down to your height and kissed your cheek. You were left with the feeling of his soft lips on your face. You couldn’t utter a single word out. Fred waved at your paralyzed state and left with George shaking his head and laughing at his twin’s romantic gesture. 

“Oh my god...” said a voice behind you. You turned your head slowly and saw Maya.

“Maya! What the fu-”

“Did Fred just kiss you?!” she squealed. She looked more excited than you.

“I-” you couldn’t even English at this point. You knew she was going to tease you for this big time, so you had to change the subject. “Maya, did you really take ten minutes to admire those chocolates in the back?”

“Yes.”

---

Your shift was almost done for today, however your heart was fluttering the whole time thinking of Fred. Oh god, how were you supposed to face him now?

Suddenly you heard a thump coming from the cellar of the store. You didn’t go down there often, so you felt a little uneasy when you walked in slowly to check.

“Mr. Flume? Mrs. Flume?” you called out quietly. No answer. You looked left and right, there was nobody you could see. 

Your whole body did a small jump as you saw a tile on the floor move. The tile kept moving until you saw it lift and move to the side. You were shocked to see Fred emerge.

“Oh hello love.” he said casually.

“Fred! What are you doing?!” you whisper-yelled as you went to help him get out. As soon as he stepped out, he dusted off his clothes.

“I missed you.” he said a smirk playing on his lips. Fred making you flustered twice in one shift? Your heart couldn’t take it.

“S-stop playing with me, why did you- no, how did you come here?! What was that?!” you asked pushing him up the stairs back to the shop. He purposely resisted a little to make your life harder. As soon as you both reached the top of the stairs, he leaned against wall.

“Didn’t know you spoke that much, (y/n).” he teased. You groaned.

“Fred, I already saw you this morning, why are you-”

“Go on a date with me.” You backed into the doorway from hearing what he had just asked you. You noticed that there wasn’t a playful grin on his face, but instead looked almost worried. 

“Okay.” you said smiling.

“Okay?” he asked repeating your reply. You realized how short and blunt your answer seemed. No wonder you’ve been single all this time.

“I-I mean yes! I’d love to go on a date with you.” you said shyly. He walked over to your small form and lightly pinned you against the wall.

“Can I kiss you then?” he asked brushing your jawline with this thumb. You managed to nod in response. With that, he closed the remaining gap between you and locked his lips with yours.

The kiss made you dizzier ten times more than the simple peck from hours ago. And bloody hell was he a good kisser. Your arms went up to link around his neck, bringing him closer and deepening the kiss.

“Um (y/n), it’s the end of your shift you and your boyfriend can leave now...”

You both broke off immediately in embarrassment as you recognized the voice as Mrs. Flume. She was standing awkwardly behind the cashier. Oh god, you were going to get fired for sure.

“...I told him to use the front door but he just had to pull a Santa Clause-“ The three of you turned your heads to the door to see Lee and George mid sentence stopping to see you and Fred with your hands on each other and Mrs. Flume catching you in the act.

“Oh my- Mrs. Flume we’re so sorry!” said George pretending to be scared and apologizing a million times.

“Yes yes it will never happen again!” shouted Lee being just as dramatic.

“You know how couples get..” said George pushing you and Fred out the door quickly.

“U-uhm I’m so sorry Mrs. Flume, S-see you next week!” you stuttered out without even looking her in the eye. As you stopped outside you panted as Fred was giggling the entire time.

“Why are you laughing? Fred!” you said playfully slapping him on the arm as he continued laughing.

“Oh Merlin, (y/n) you don’t know how funny that was- your reaction was adorable!”

“You should be glad, we saved both your arses.” Said Lee proudly with George nodding along.

“Now you can finally go on your date!” Said George cheerfully. “But if I see you both snogging when you get back I won’t be there to save either of you again.”

You blushed at the thought of you and Fred snogging again. Fred scoffed and waved them off. He took your hand in his as you started to walk on your date.

“By the way, I don’t care what George says. There will be snogging, a hundred percent.”

—————————————————

Please message me if you’d like to be a part of my tag list. I write for 3 fandoms so specify which one!

[karahalloway]

A (Slightly Awkward) Reunion - A Smut-Tember One-Shot

Series: TRR

Pairing: Bertrand Beaumont x Savannah Walker

Synopsis: After Bertrand discovers that he has a son, he works up the courage to see Savannah. But an important conversation is very rudely interrupted...

Word count: 1,080

Warnings: NSFW (posh British swearing, smutty thoughts and Bertrand being awkward)

This is my off-the-cuff submission for @smut-tember​ (inspired - in a very roundabout way - by @petiteboheme‘s fic Getaway and Elia’s British accent... my brain works in weird ways lol), and it’s more awkward/cringey than smutty, but this is where I ended up at... As I told @aussiegurl1234, cringey smut is definitely not my calling! 😅 So, I’m not tagging my usual list.

The Week 3 prompt required the use of at least two cringey words from the list, as well as one ‘mood killer’. I highlighted the chosen words in bold and the mood killer is kind of a two-in-one (bodily sounds/functions + family interruptions). Happy reading!

I wipe my sweaty palms on the lapels of my jacket, heart hammering like a marching drum.

Oh, Lord...! This was a stupendously terrible idea... What was she going to say when she saw me? More importantly, what was I going to say? 'My most sincerest apologies for being an absolute pillock...?'

I scoff at myself.

No, best start with something a tad more civil, like a simple greeting, or a wry quip about the weather... Yes, that should help—

The door opens and my mouth drops.

Dear God in Heaven, bugger me now...!

I’m not completely certain what I had expected to see when she opened the door… but it is most assuredly not the vision standing before me! The soft tresses of her warm brown hair cascade in waves down her shoulders, framing her face and slender neck like a silken waterfall, brushing the swell of her – definitely more ample! – bosom, and when she lifts her eyes to mine, I feel my heart stop dead.

"Hello, Bertrand."

The roll of the harsh consonants of my name across her tongue sends an instant jolt of electricity to my rod.

“Erm…” I clear my throat with some difficulty. “Good evening… Miss Walker.”

Her left brow shoots up in exacting mimicry of her brother’s trademark mien and I feel the blood ice over in my veins at the memory of his murderous outburst last night… and I wonder briefly whether I was now in for an even worse dressing down…

“Yes. Good evening, Duke Ramsford.” Her voice drips with acerbity.

I swallow the lump in my throat. Pull it together Bertrand! You’ve thrown together a six-course feast for nobility at a moment’s notice… Surely you can handle one conversation with the mother of your child!

“May… may I come in?”

Her eyes do not leave mine and time seems to slow to a crawl as she weighs my request.

But, just as I am becoming convinced that she will simply shut the door in my face, she steps back and indicates that I should enter.

As I walk past her, the scent of her sweet floral perfume assaults my senses, and stirs up my memories of our passionate night together in Ramsford… How she had been casting coy glances at me the whole evening… How her soft lips had felt against mine when I finally gave into desire and bent down to suckle them… How incredibly amazing she had felt when my love stick finally invaded her secret place after so many tortuous nights of imagining what a coitus with her would feel like.

“You said you wanted to talk...”

I am wrenched back to the present by the sound of her voice. Turning around, I see her looking at me with a mixture of expectation and uncertainty, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.

“…so talk.”

I suck in a deep breath. “Savannah… my dear… I… I made a terrible mistake. And if I could do it over again, I would…”

Her bottom lip wavers with emotion. “Oh, Bertie…”

“…because I should never have given in to my baser desires that night, had I known it would lead to… this.” I finish in a rush, gesturing at the various bits of infant paraphernalia that dotted the apartment.

Her face falls momentarily before her lips – those luscious lips! – harden into a cold, thin line. “I… I see.” She turns quickly back towards the door, but not before I see a lone tear escape the corner of her eye to roll down her face. “Then I’m not sure we have anything more to talk about…”

“No!” I cry, reaching out towards her. “That’s not what I—”

Blast! That had come out completely wrong!

She wrenches the door open, eyes shining with hurt and betrayal, just as they had been the night she disappeared from my life. “Just go, Bertrand… You don’t need to inconvenience yourself further.”

“Inconven—?" I shake my head as I step in front of her. “If anyone was inconvenienced, it was you!”

A laugh escapes her, and I feel a moment of hope… that is quickly dashed when I see the steel in her eyes. “So, it’s my fault that I got pregnant, is it?”

“Of course not!” I grab her hand, desperately hoping that this simple gesture will help convey what I was struggling to get out with words. “It was my fault. I should never have—”

“Slept with me?” she cuts in archly.

“—pushed you away.”

Her shoulders drop. “Oh…”

“Savvy…” I whisper, her closeness wreaking havoc on my thoughts and my body. “I am a monumental fool when it comes to you. I never seem to be able to say or do the right things, and I am immeasurably sorry at how things turned out. But I want to do better… be better. Not just for you, but for your son… our son. That is… if you’ll allow me?”

She heaves a very un-ladylike sniffle, but I see what looks like a genuine smile form on her lips. “I… I’d like that.”

She lifts her face, and I feel myself lean towards her, drawn irresistibly in like a lodestone to iron. I feel my stomach tighten in anticipation…

…when the unmistakable sound of a thunderous flatulence rends the silence of the room.

“Oh my God!” she exclaims, an embarrassed flush rising up her cheeks. “I am so sorry…!”

“I… err… it’s alright…” I stammer, pulling back. “I understand women go through many bodily changes at this time, so it’s a perfectly normal—”

Savannah lets out an exasperated snort. “It wasn’t me, you blockhead!”

“Well, it certainly wasn’t me!”

She rolls her eyes as she pushes past me. “It was Bartie.”

“Bartie?”

At that moment, a disgruntled cry sounds from the back of the apartment.

“He’s teething, so his digestion is all kinds of messed up at the moment,” explains Savannah as she makes her way towards the source of the disturbance. “He even had green poop the other day, if you can believe it…”

“Dear Lord! Green excrement? Have you taken him to see the doctor?”

“Relax, Bertrand. It’s perfectly normal,” she throws back over her shoulder as she disappears into the bedroom. “Happens all the time.”

“All the time…?!” I squeak.

Good Lord…! If this was the result of one night of passion, then no wonder she felt like she needed to keep the child a secret!