#swap sans is very nice to him

[sui-imi]

I saw one of your most recent posts with UnderEats Sans in it and I wanted to know, who orders from him the most?

Just a lil goofy question ☺️, have a lovely day/everything!

Hello! thank you so much for the question, i hope you have a lovely day too!

Sans is just a delivery driver, so it's a little random which AU he goes to, but he ends up delivering to Underswap a lot. He's friendly with most people there!

[lavenderspence]

Needy & Embarrassed | A.H.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Content warning: MDNI, 18+ for suggestive themes, mentions of sex, suggested soft!dom aaron, embarrassment, the team lowkey being little shits

Word Count: 1.1K

Summary: You needed him so much, you ended up embarrassing you both.

Request: hey if you're looking for funny requests, what about Hotch's fuckbuddy calling for a booty call at the worst time possible while he's on a case and the bau team hear everything (idk if his phone is broken or it's on his comms or something??) and won't let it go? Feel free to adapt and make it your own! I just love to embarrass that old man and break that stoic wall lol

A/N: okay this was supposed to be funny, but it ended up more of a hoe fic, for the horny girlies (it’s me, i’m a horny girly). It’s very mild though. Pretty please, don't let this baby flop and enjoy!

Requests are CLOSED! | masterlist

The phone rang, once, twice, it kept ringing and he wasn’t picking up. 

You’d called him twice in the last 20 minutes, but he hadn’t answered. You knew he was busy, you knew he was working, and tirelessly at that, catching monsters and putting them away, putting them in their place.

But the truth was, you really needed him to put you in your place. You were hot, desperate for him - desperate to touch him, take all of his worries, and have him go pliant against you. Have him touch you, circle all the places that made you sing into the quiet, and make small goosebumps and beads of sweat cover your skin. 

You needed his fingers to touch you in the most electrifying way possible, challenge all of the strength and power he had over you. 

You needed to feel him push inside, the blunt tip of his dragging against your walls. His head buried at the crook of your neck - panting, licking, teeth scraping against the tender flesh. You maybe even needed him to leave a small bruise or two - it’s not like he hadn’t done it before. 

Just thinking about him like that, about the power he held over you and the things you wanted him to do to you in that very moment, was making you hot - your clit pulsing in desperation. 

This desire overtook all of your senses - you needed him with a passion. You needed him against you, inside you. You needed to be surrounded by him and his scent. You needed to surrender and let him lead this. And you needed it now. 

You redialed his number - you knew you should stop, but all rational thoughts had left your brain when that first fantasy, first scene, had invaded your mind. 

The phone rang again, and it rang, and he still wasn't picking up. You started scratching at your cuticles, the desire to take matters into your own hands was strong. You knew he wouldn’t appreciate it though, not at all. He never did - he was just a bit possessive like that. 

For a year, as long as you'd known him, he'd been the only one to touch you. You’d met at a bar one late fall evening. He’d been drinking with a group of friends, his team, you had learned later. And you were at the bar with your best friend. The night had stretched, and so had the drinks. 

Next thing you knew, a bathroom stall had been occupied, your skirt pushed up and the top three buttons of his dress shirt undone. Kisses were swapped, flesh ended up red and muscles deliciously stretched. A lipstick kiss was left on his peck - nice and vibrant against his soft skin.

It was quick, and it was easy. Electric didn’t even begin to describe it. But it was casual, and that’s the way it’s been since then. 

Nights well spent - ending up boneless under the sheets was just one call away. And that’s exactly what you needed at that moment. You needed him to make you relax, to see stars, and reach heights you only ever reached with him. 

You hadn’t seen him in two weeks, maybe that's where this desire, all the urgency came from.  You’d planned to see each other after he returned from a case in Wisconsin, but not 24 hours after his return, they’d caught a case in San Diego and he’d left again. 

There was one final way you knew you’d be able to reach him, but you’d never tried it. He’d said it was only for emergencies. But your “emergency” wasn't an emergency, to begin with, it was rather an increasing need for the man who wasn't answering.

You played with the idea, trying to stop yourself from doing something irrational. In the end though, when it came to him and this thing between you, this need, but you couldn’t even think -  all you felt was desire, hot, searing want. 

You opened your phone, looking for the phone number before your thumb hovered over the call button, and the next thing you knew, you were holding it to your ear.

The round table was full of files scattered around one over the other. The coffee cups were emptied long ago, and no one had bothered to start a new pot. Everyone knew their time was better spent finishing the paperwork and going home. 

Maybe that’s why nobody paid attention when the phone in the middle of the table started ringing. Maybe that’s why he hardly paid attention when he answered the call. 

“Hotchner.” It came out tired and distracted. He was barely listening, even when the line cracked and a voice finally answered.

“Hi, Aaron.” A purr sounded from the other side, low and seductive, if a bit unsure. “Baby…I really need to see you right now. I'm so worked up, so needy. I can't wait anymore, I need your mouth wrapped-” He rose to his full height, his brain suddenly putting two and two together, his heart pounding.

“Now’s not a good time Y/N.” He rushed to stop you from saying any more, every eye in the room focused on him, and the phone, making them an audience to a far too intimate conversation you shouldn’t be having.

“Look, I know you said I should only call this number in case of an emergency, but Aaron, I cannot stop thinking about your co -” He pressed the end call button at lighting speed, feeling himself get hot, in embarrassment…maybe even in want.

Everyone stood still, silent, holding their breath, eyes wide and curious, and turned towards their boss. Looking, waiting for a reaction, anything.

He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, to erase your voice and the words you’d said to him - trying to stop himself from the added embarrassment that may follow if he didn’t. Just your voice, the desperation laced into your usual timber was making his body react, and not in an appropriate way.

“Well, that’s one way to go about it. “ Rossi commented, putting an end to the awkward silence. Penelope broke out in laughter, quickly followed by Morgan and Emily, and everyone joined in. 

“Poor girl. This does sound like an emergency Hotch,” Emily added before another big laugh followed. 

He scoffed and picked up his suit jacket, “We’re done, go home.” He grumbled, before making a beeline for the door.

“And don’t forget to wrap it before you tap it, boss. Girly seriously sounded like she needed that d-” Penelope’s voice followed him, “Too far? Okay.” He heard her murmur but he didn’t stop. 

No, determination led him outside the bullpen and down the elevator as he pulled his phone out and found your contact, typing a text. 

You better be ready, because this little scene you just caused? It’s going to cost you, baby. 

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[cloudyskydreams]

I love the way you write for the sanses. I'd love it so so much if you could do the same genre SFW and NSFW headcanons for swap and fell sans too, thank you!!!

Of course!! Took me a bit to get on these but I have prevailed against my lack of motivation woo✨ I really enjoyed writing these honestly they're so fun to me. As always hope y'all enjoy!

✨SFW✨:

Red:

•Reds a clingy guy at home and in public. He likes being close to you and he's a tad possessive because he didn't think he'd ever actually be able to get with someone and you're the perfect someone in his eyes, he can't lose you.

•He seeks you out for comfort often because he doesn't have a lot of coping mechanisms. Just a very disgruntled or upset red coming over to you and hiding his face in your shirt as he clings to you. Only at home of course, he'll cling to your hand in public or get some kisses for that sweet sweet physical reassurance.

•As I've mentioned before Red loves to read and when he gets over his embarrassment of you seeing him in his glasses he'd love to read to you if you'd let him. He used to with Edge when he was little and he's always enjoyed reading to other people and giving the characters their own unique voices.

•Hes a big guy so when he's cuddling and doesn't want you to get up he'll pin you underneath him. Uses his size against you definitely wether that be pinning you down or simply blocking your path if he doesn't want you to leave.

•Real easy to fluster this man he's all for flirting and being a hornball but cannot handle it being thrown back in huge amounts. He's not used to people actually wanting him.

•He does like to spoil you, he doesn't have hella money but he'll buy you nice things or things you want.

•He definitely steals small things of yours occasionally larger items like clothing. He hoardes small knickknacks he's gotten of yours over your time together and refuses to admit that's what he's doing even though he has just a small pile of your stuff in his underwear drawer of the dresser.

Blue:

•He likes to take care of the stuff around the house for you. Of course he likes a little help but he doesn't mind doing a few chores or being the main cook in the house if it makes life easier on you!

•Absolutely blogs about you, Blue is a big blogger and he has a whole blog dedicated specifically to ranting about you and how much he loves you, he doesn't mention you by name and has a silly codename for you.

•He loves matching couple things, he's definitely made you matching bracelets and has gotten matching keychains that represent you guys to have of each other. He thinks it's super cute and just loves matching with you.

•He makes a lot of gifts for you. He likes creating things with his hands so he'll make you stuff like little paper flowers bouquets and flower crowns when you're at the park.

•He loves going out for dates and trys to plan one atleast once a week, he's fine with just hanging around the house and doing stuff but he'd love to take you to the arcade or amusement park or a cute little cafe.

•Your interests are now his interests, or he'll try to get into them at least! If it's not his type he's more than willing to listen to you rant and keep up with specific people or characters just for you. Him seeing a little tidbit of info on something you're interested in and feeling so proud to tell you about it.

🍋NSFW🍋:

RED:

•Has the biggest praise kink, he's into degrading too just not as heavily, he loves being told how good he's doing and how hot he looks.

•Hes a switch with no real preference, loves fucking into you as well as being fucked.His favorite position is doggy style so he can play with your ass while he's fucking you.

•He's got a husky ectobody, his ecto-cock is 6.3 inches and a girth of about 5.6 inches. His femme body has double d cup tits which he's very proud of and a apple shape figure, he has a red outtie pussy that's gapes just slightly from past usage.

•Red loves toys using on him or you. He loves to have his ass or pussy stuffed full and teased with vibrators and all sorts of dildos and plugs. He has a collection that he'll bust out first chance he gets. He loves teasing you with them too, stuffing you full with a vibrator and watching you get off on it.

•On that last bit he's a vouyer so he absolutely LOVES watching you get off with his toys, he even does one of those make a dildo things with his own cock so he can watch you fuck yourself with it.

•Is into anal giving or receiving. He's pretty good at taking it and even has a few butt plugs he'll wear around occasionally. He'd love to get you your own if you'd be into it and he'd definitely tease you with it if you decided to wear it for him one day.

BLUE:

•Blue's a huge tease and he uses his innocent face to try and get away with it when he can. He'll "brush" past you feeling you up stealthily or whisper in your ear how hard he's going to fuck you and in what position and then just look at you with them big blue eyelights and adorable smile.

•He leans towards top and dom mostly but has no problem bottoming or letting you take the reigns. His favorite position is spread eagle he likes being able to look into your eyes and it gives him easy access to your neck and chest for bites.

•Blue's a biter, not just during cuddles but also during sex. His teeth aren't the sharpest but his canines have an edge to them and he loves sinking his teeth into your plush body and leaving marks. It drives him crazy if you show them off he's so proud of them.

•He's got a little chub to his ectobody but not as much as the other sans as he does have a regular workout routine he's pretty good at keeping up with. His ecto-cock is about 5.2 inches and about 5.9 inches in girth. His femme body is a triangle body shape and he has b cup tits. He has a light blue innie pussy.

•He really enjoys roleplay and his favorite so far is royalty and faithful knight/bodyguard. He likes seeing you dressed up in costumes for you and owns a bunch for both him and you to wear.

•Temperature play is a big thing receiving and giving. Imagine teasing his little clit with a icecube or running it up his cock length as he twitches underneath you gasping and moaning. Or him teasing you as he rubs them across your nipples and down your stomach watching the ice melt on your warm flesh.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 102 (More Winterfest in San Myshuno)

Early in the morning after Winterfest, Ray, the Landgraabs' driver, picked up Ash from Brindleton Bay. Heather was distracted on his arrival, because Lavender had woken and pulled herself up to sit for the first time. The family excitedly celebrated the milestone, but she dressed Ash as an afterthought, rushing to get him in clothes nicer than he ever wore in Brindleton Bay.

Nancy had rearranged her family's holiday celebration to ensure Ash was included, but she rolled her eyes in annoyance when he showed up in a grey and black suit. "I told Heather red or green for the portrait. Even John managed to find a red bow tie!"

Malcolm groaned while his infant daughter, Bridgette, fussed in Miko's arms. "He looks fine, Mom. Just take the photo so we can change."

Controlling Nancy was very particular, and she spent the timer countdown trying to get Johnny and Eva's twin daughters to pivot from their positions on the floor. Nonetheless, this was the best photo Nancy was going to get, because her family was anxious to change into more comfortable clothes and move on to gifts, eating food, and yes, even hanging out with each other.

Miko played songs on piano and practiced tummy time with Bridgette before her nap. Johnny introduced his sister to his youngest son with wife Eva, who was roughly the same age as Bridgette. "Deven Zest? You won't use your real name professionally, but you can't even give it to your children?"

"I didn't think you gave a crap what my kids were called, Nancy. You didn't say a word after the birth of Cristal and Noemi, and now you've got Ash and Bridgette to focus on."

Nancy scowled. "You've made a nice family for yourself, John. I'd say I'm proud of you but for that to happen you'd have to apologize for trying to take me down more than once."

"And you'd have to apologize for punishing me every day of my life for our mother's death."

Nancy pursed her lips. "Well...Happy Winterfest, John. Maybe this year you'll finally get that headline comedy special you've always dreamed about."

Ash hung out with his second cousins - Johnny and Eva's five-year-old twin daughters, Noemi (the blonde) and Cristal (with black hair). "What's it like to go to school in a big city?"

"We take the subway to school every morning," said Noemi. "And there are lots of basketball courts on the pavement outside."

"I go to school on a boat every day," said Ash. "To an island with a cemetery for dead pets!"

The girls thought this was weird and fascinating, and they swapped stories of what life was like in their respective hometowns. They knew little of their family drama and kept to themselves, uninterested in the conversations being had by all the boring grown-ups.

Geoffrey gave his wife a copy of Layla Delarosa's latest bestseller, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang: Origins. The outgoing CEO made no secret of her appreciation for smutty fiction, and she flirted shamelessly with Geoffrey by their giant windows. "The last time you read a Layla Delarosa book, we learned to do that," Geoffrey recollected with a smile.

Malcolm cuddled his sleepy daughter, rolling his eyes at his parents, and Miko pulled a gift from under the tree for Ash. "It's a little something extra from your dad and me. I found it when I was going through some boxes in storage."

Ash opened the gift and glanced at the photograph inside with confusion. "Who are these kids?"

Malcolm turned from the sofa. "That's a picture of Conrad and me when we were kids. We thought you might want to hang it up in you and Bridgette's room now that it's finished."

Ash could hardly comprehend the idea that his father and stepfather had ever been so young, and he studied the photo in detail. "Were you two friends?"

"We were friends, and we're still close now because we both care about you."

"Are you hang out friends like me and Arron Kalani or Scotti Holiday?"

"Not really. We live too far away from each other to be hang out friends."

Ash nodded. "Like me and Pearl Richards," he said cheerily.

Heather and Conrad arrived soon after with Lavender, and Eva greeted her excitedly. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but it's nice to have someone else here who Nancy loves to insult."

Heather laughed. "As fun as it sounds to listen to Nancy all night, we're not staying long. We've got to get to my sister's place across town before she puts her girls to bed."

In the kitchen, Malcolm caught up with Conrad. Though his every promotion to investigative reporter had been the result of nepotism and not hard work (really true, I cheated it up every time), somewhere along the way he'd learned how to do his job. "So there haven't been many updates about the body that was found by the pier in Brindleton Bay."

"I can't talk about an active case file, Malcolm."

"I'm not asking as a reporter. I'm asking whether Brindleton Bay is safe enough for my son."

"Of course it is. It's not descending into lawlessness because a body turned up at the docks."

Conrad's stomach twisted. It seemed he was always lying to someone, but his captain would fire him without a second thought if he revealed a word of the case to a reporter for a news organization as biased and unprincipled as Simlandia National.

"What are you guys talking about?" Ash interrupted, and Conrad was grateful Malcolm had no interest in discussing a murder investigation in front of his son. "Are you being hang out friends?"

"We are," said Malcolm. "We were just talking about work. Boring stuff that grown up friends like to talk about."

"You should do jobs you think are more fun. Like running a bouncy castle! Can you imagine?"

He laughed excitedly at his idea and they left the Landgraabs in good spirits. They arrived at Uncle Karl and Mortimer's penthouse in the Arts Quarter when Lavender was ready for a bottle and her afternoon nap.

Infant Betta

vs.

Infant Holly

Heather marveled at how much little Betta looked like her mother as a baby, pulling up an old photo on mom Daisy's Social Bunny account of Holly in her crib with a dirty diaper at the same age.

Ash shared silly conversation with his cousin, Tetra, who was only three and still learning to speak. Conrad chatted with Karl and Mortimer, finding true crime-loving Karl just as curious about the murder investigation in Brindleton Bay as Malcolm had been. "No arrests yet. But maybe one day they'll make a doc about the case - hopefully after we've solved it."

"Please do solve it soon," Mortimer pleaded gently. "I'd hate to see Brindleton Bay step back into its more lawless times of the past. Especially with most of my family still in town."

Lavender woke then from her nap, buoyant and giddy as usual, and Heather's Uncle Karl took the chance to cuddle her. Sometimes, he regretted missing out on having children of his own, but sharing such a close bond with his nieces, nephew, and their children was a fitting consolation.

"Brindleton Bay is in good hands," Conrad said assuredly. "Not just me, but we've got a great team. We'll get to the bottom of the case."

Back Uptown, Malcolm put Bridgette to bed. He was still thinking about the body in Brindleton Bay, and Miko could tell it was bothering him. "Maybe you should start making calls," she suggested.

"Simlandia National only wants me investigating political activists."

"So what? If you follow your instincts and find a story, they'll run with it. Simlandia National loves an unsolved murder case."

Malcolm considered his wife's advice with a smile, leaving to do some research on the computer as their daughter slept peacefully in her crib. Malcolm wasn't supposed to work independently, but he had a feeling there was more to the investigation at the pier than anyone was letting on.

For the sake of his son and the story, Malcolm decided to follow his hunch. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: The awkward placement of the family portrait (not centred, Nancy holding nothing where a toddler should be but there are none) is due to me making a first attempt at combining poses to make a full portrait. Ash, Nancy, Geoffrey, Noemi, and Cristal are posed using the Imperial Dynasty posepack by @beto-ae0, and I used @rebouks Infant Insanity Family Photos posepack twice (same pose as the one I used for Heather, Conrad, Ash and Lavender in their holiday pj's) for Malcolm, Miko, Bridgette, Deven, Eva, and Johnny.

Also! I dressed up everyone in the Landgraab and Zest households for the photo and completely forgot about Ash before I set the poses and didn't want to set it up again, so I am once again blaming one of my sims for my own failings. 😂

NOTE 2: As for the clothing changes kind of going back and forth, I filmed events in one order and wrote events in a different order and when I realized it, I just kinda shrugged it off because I was already laser-focusing on getting later posts queued up. It all happened the same day, at least!

[ficzers]

hello!

could you please write headcanons on dating with swap (blueberry) sans?

your way of describing is incredible!

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

𝘿𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙎𝙬𝙖𝙥 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙨:

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙃𝘾𝙨

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

♡ - This guy would be sooo damn lovey-dovey, he would be the most love dumb boyfriend ever. Constantly saying cheesy romantic stuff to you and doing grand displays of affection

♡ - Would randomly break out into love poems, would unironically say stuff like “Your eyes are like deep oceans I find myself being drawn into! An endless sea of pure beauty!” While he dramatically poses. He is very unashamed of his love for you

♡ - Would get very flustered when you pay back any compliments or flirting, but would obviously try to play it off as “Well of course I’m handsome! I’m the most handsome skeleton around!” meanwhile he’s blushing like mad and looking anywhere but you

♡ - Does eeeverything for you, makes you breakfast, does your chores, cleans up for you. He’s always been very high energy and very proactive, and he sees these things as just another thing he can do to keep himself occupied! If you do have a problem with it at any point, he would find it very hard to keep himself from doing things for you

♡ - On the other hand, his high energy means he’s a very high maintenance partner. He constantly wants to do stuff with you, constantly wants to talk with you, he just doesn’t ever get tired of you! But you definitely might get tired of him, and it takes a while for him to understand that you still need personal time away from the relationship now and then

♡ - Not the most emotionally mature, he definitely wouldn’t really understand the more complicated problems that might arise in a relationship. He would definitely try to fix conflicts with taking you out for a nice meal or just being even more affectionate instead of actually facing the conflict head on, and this can def lead to its own problems

♡ - Would be your absolute biggest cheerleader. Everything you do is wonderful to him. You made dinner? It’s the best thing he’s ever tasted! You made a painting for him? This is the best painting he’s ever seen! If anyone is even a tiny bit in disagreement with you, he would back you up in every single way possible

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Authors Note: Tysm!! I’m glad u like my writing!!❤️❤️

[suzukiblu]

If you are still taking requests I would love some Jason Todd!

There's a couple of ways to ID a soulmate, but the traditional–and usual–one is a kiss. Basically any exchange of bodily fluids will do it, of course, but most people kiss way before they get around to fucking bareback and a kiss is also definitely less likely to result in hepatitis than swapping blood with strangers. And, like, it's also more romantic and that tends to appeal to people more even when the involved soulmates aren't actually romantic. Like it's way easier to laugh off that one time you slipped your destined BFF tongue than it is to explain a bloodborne illness to your GP.

So naturally, Jason finds out who his soulmate is by accidentally bleeding all over the guy in the middle of a random stupid throwdown with supervillains in San Francisco.

Also, naturally said guy is Tim's boyfriend who still justifiably hates Jason's ass for all the fucked up shit he's done and said to Tim.

Jason is pretty sure this would count as another reason for Superboy to hate his ass, except the one mercy in this situation is that Superboy was unconscious for their accidental blood-swap, so he at least doesn't know they're soulmates.

The lucky bastard.

Fuck everything, Jason thinks, and then resolves to never think about it again. Which he doesn't, because even having a thought around Bruce is basically the same thing as handing the bastard a signed confession.

It sucks, admittedly? Like, Jason's not gonna pretend it doesn't suck. He didn't ever think he'd get a coffee shop meet-cute with his soulmate, assuming he had enough of a soul left to actually have one, but he'd at least expected to get somebody who wasn't already dating the brother he's treated worst and who did not, ideally, hate his guts.

Or who at least hated his guts in a sexy way that could result in a nice enemies-with-benefits situation to spice up his sex life and maybe hopefully one day evolve into . . . he doesn't know, frenemies-with-benefits? Or something?

Superboy is not gonna be up for cheating on his boyfriend with said boyfriend's adoptive brother, Jason is very damn sure. For one thing, if he was, Jason wouldn't want to fuck him anyway, much less be his soulmate. Jason is a murderer and a bastard but he is also a ride or die, okay, and he doesn't give a shit what the universe says, there is no damn way that he'd accept a soulmate like that.

Also, like, since the accidental blood-swap went down, now when they get close enough there's an empathy bond going and Jason can absolutely feel how fucking <i>besotted</i> Superboy is by every little thing Tim does and says and just is.

And he can also feel how much the guy hates him.

Jason has never had better control of his pit rage than since realizing that if Superboy ever felt it, it'd be absolutely undeniably obvious what it was and where it was coming from.

It is fucking amazing what a desperate person can get a handle on. Like, really.

Jason went to fucking therapy for this shit. It sucks and he hates it and he wants to burn down the whole stupid office every time, but he's still going every week because fuck forbid he lose control enough that somebody realize something is up.

Jason's self-control is not helped by the fact that Superboy has his own anger issues, but it's not like they get all that close to each other all that often anyway. He very rarely has to worry about Superboy picking up on anything from him. Mostly he just has to worry about not being any worse to Tim than he already has been and making excuses to avoid any situation that Superboy might theoretically pop up in. He has absolutely no designs on fucking up Tim's relationship. Ever.

He guesses he and Superboy could have a platonic bond, admittedly. Like, that's possible.

Except Superboy constantly insists on wearing a painted-on bodysuit and studded black leather and strappy belts and looking like a porn star parody of a superhero, along with regularly smirking like a cocky asshole who just so happens to be the second coming of sin, and Jason has a very difficult time not finding all of that just unspeakably hot, so that seems unlikely.

So yeah, Jason's definitely not telling anyone that they're soulmates. Possibly ever. At least not as long as Superboy and Tim are still into each other and in undeniably perfect romantic love, anyway.

It's not like Jason's waiting for them to break up or something, or for the probably likelier but much more upsetting option that is Tim fucking dying. He's a bastard, again, but he's not that kind of a bastard.

He really hopes this is just one of those bullshit bonds that don't actually become relevant until the involved bondmates are, like, octogenarians or whatever. Which is not something Jason would've ever expected to want from his soulmate, but Jason also did not ever expect his soulmate to turn out to be Tim's boyfriend, so yeah. Well, life's a bitch and also full of surprises.

It's impossible to always avoid Superboy, all things considered, but Jason usually can, and thanks to Bat-training and his time with the League and just who he is as a person he's very good at keeping his emotions on lockdown when the dude's around without it actually looking like he's keeping his emotions on lockdown. Mostly he just ignores him and acts like he thinks he's irrelevant, and Superboy seems perfectly happy with that.

But again, it's impossible to always avoid him, and they're on the same side and everything, more or less. Jason therefore can't technically bitch about the guy randomly landing in the middle of his rooftop stakeout wearing that cocky asshole smirk of his and also his painted-on bodysuit and studded black leather.

Or he couldn't, except that it is very obviously not actually Superboy wearing all those things. For starters, Superboy never wears that smirk when he's looking at Jason.

For another thing, Jason knows his own damn soulmate when he sees him. Like, he is not actually that oblivious or stupid a person as to not recognize his own damn soulmate.

"Hey, man," fake Superboy greets casually as his boots hit the roof. Jason runs the internal numbers on whether or not fake Superboy has real Kryptonian powers and decides better safe than sorry, then hits the panic button hidden in the collar of his jacket as he turns to fully face him, making the gesture look like an idle adjustment.

"Robin need something?" he asks, cocking his head questioningly. Seems wisest to pretend like he's falling for this bullshit, whatever it is. Especially if Kryptonian powers are currently a concern.

"Naw," the fake Superboy says, his smirk widening crookedly. "This one's an . . . off-the-books social call, as it were."

"Oh, we make social calls, now?" Jason asks dryly, resisting the irrational urge to hit his panic button again. Not actually a helpful urge, that. The thing's already streaming live audio and video to Oracle and the Batcomputer to get everyone in the loop on what the problem is, that's all that matters. Extra hitting would just make it likelier that fake Superboy might notice something.

"Maybe I just wanted to see you, Hood," fake Superboy says as his smirk turns into a wicked grin, and steps towards Jason with very familiar and incredibly unsubtle body language that, again, has never once been directed towards him.

Goddammit.

Well, good thing Jason hit his panic button, because there is no damn way this is ending well. He's never actually used the thing before, it's a recent addition to his gear now that he and the Bats are actually mostly working together again, but he already appreciates said addition very, very much.

Assuming that Bruce is packing kryptonite tonight, anyway.

Fuck, he'd better be.

. . . also assuming that whoever this fake Superboy is happens to be vulnerable to kryptonite. Or at least currently happens to be vulnerable to kryptonite. Jason's not sure if this is like a bodyswap situation or a more traditional possession or just a doppelganger or a shapeshifter, but who the hell even knows. Not mind control, he's pretty sure, unless it's the kind that really fucks with somebody's personality. Like, yes, that is Superboy's body language and Superboy's facial expressions and even Superboy's microexpressions, but it's just . . . not Superboy behind any of it. Like, very obviously not.

. . . weirdly obviously, actually. Like, Jason's really feeling the uncanny valley right now.

Ugh.

Well, hopefully this person or thing or weird psychic projection thinks he's fucking stupid.

"Did you now," Jason says, eyeing fake Superboy through his helmet. Schooling his expression doesn't really matter right now, except of course X-ray vision is a thing, so actually never mind, maybe it does. Again: goddammit.

Definitely gonna need to keep a handle on his heart rate here.

"Eh, what can I say, Rob was being a basic bitch again and I got bored," fake Superboy says with a dismissive shrug, which is something Jason would pistol-whip the real Superboy for saying but at least provides him a pretty solid script to go off while he waits for reinforcements to show.

He'd rather be making with the pistol-whipping, though.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

heyy do you have any killer centric fic recs? ive read a fair few but im curious if youve got some saved up i mightve missed :3

There’s this one called Altered, rather recent, and a part of a little series but this killer and swap centric. I haven’t read the other ones but it seems to be a “blue joins bad sanses” and bad sans poly + blue thing maybe. This 1 shot deals with matters like forced personality alterations and the like.

Isn’t completely canon to Killers story, seems to run with a typical not very kind look towards ink and dream in their treatment of blue (idk havent read the other parts so can’t say), and color either hasn’t been introduced or doesnt exist which is my only minor pet peeve lmao ���. Not that big of deal tho I guess (I say as it bothers me I’m sorry guys I cant stand it when color & killer arent together in some capacity it feels wrong. especially if killer rejects color completely for BSP in the fics cuz it makes me want to strangle him) writing seems very nice tho.

This one called To Kill a Killer.

Tart and Bittersweet. Also a part of a series thing I think.

This entire series is worth a read, has some good killer moments and a few killer centric things. Color is here which I love.

Calling into Hell is a must. Psychological horror yay.

Merging Timelines isn’t strictly Killer centric but has a fun mix of fanon and canon aspects and is a pretty silly and fun fic with angsty moments.

There’s more but I’ll probably look for them when I’m not tired.

( @tilledman ).

[sososunniest]

fresh ships that I like and why and headcanons

fresh x error

this one is probably my otp I draw these motherfunkers all the time waaaaaa .,.. okay. so I know there's an au where they're siblings . they aren't canonically siblings, and I hate that au with a burning passion so

iirc, even CQ ships fresh x error. so that's a plus. love my skeleton yaoi /silly

headcanon time. I feel like because of error's fear of being touched, fresh (at least) tries to tone it down with the physical touch. he kinda sucks at it tho

error hates, and I mean HATES showing affection. he shows it by being mean. fresh likes that about him, at least knowing that error is somewhat trying. keyword, somewhat

under the cut for more

fresh x fell

oh man. OH MAN. fresh and anyone he wouldn't like because of their mannerisms ,,,,,,,, "I like him, he's special to me" type stuff is my fave ever

< bad boy x absolute idiot freak loser 3 .... oh maaan

fresh probably censored him daily until he let him pass with a few curses. nothing too bad.

fresh joke flirts with him everyday and fell started to flirt back and fresh giggles and kicks his feet

fresh x lust

another instance of someone fresh wouldn't like. A WHORE. I headcanon lust as asexual though ,,,,,, my au made me permanently see him as someone who left his au and identified as asexual

they gossip and hold hands and talk about hot guys

they definitely call and twirl the phone cord and kick their legs

they wear wigs just so they can braid each others hair and they kiss on Mondays /vsilly

I see them as queer platonic partners ,,, that I love because AAAUAUUUAUUSAAAAGAGAHHR im tweaking

fresh x geno

okay main reason is because of fresherror ,,,,, and i just love them. no pure reason as to why, theeyre just so cute. I'm going nuts over them

fresh likes to wipe the blood from geno's mouth ,,, he thinks he's being nice. geno is grateful for this.

fresh likes giving him shirts and outfits but a lot of them are ruined from blood, so sometimes fresh walks around with literal blood stains on his shirt . what a fool. WHAT A FOOL !!!!!

fresh x ink

the chaotic duo we all neeeded ,,,, I feel like both of them are on the aroace spectrum

they probably paint together and ink probably gifted fresh some au that was abandoned so they could make it all cool together

the real reason I like this pair is because. uh. idk. they're both goofballs and they both like pulling pranks. they probably show eachother their special interests (yes I'm projecting get OVER IT /SILLY)

fresh x killer

this one isn't as well known ... I'm known as the rarepair ceo at this point, I fear

OKAY. I know killer's first reaction to fresh was quite literally "what the funk" but you gotta hear me out on them. they're cuties. very cute. they're like rivals, but the rivalry is completely one-sided and that's kinda funny to me. killer probably caught some feelings , and he was very angry about that

nothing else about them. I just really like them. I crode

fresh x classic

ahh yes, fresh and the guy he stole a body from /silly

I really do love them. comedian buddies. I find them more like platonic partners than actual lovers, since classic sans 'too lazy to feel love/be in a romantic relationship' and I took that as an opportunity to slap another aroace label onto a character I relate to BAHAHAAHA

they tell eachother dumb jokes

fresh x epic

yet another platonic partner relationship . foaming at the mouth

more comedians !!!!!! two little joke people. love em

fresh x cross

that one Underverse episode caused this. I have no other words. I just like them okay

fresh x nightmare

they commit tax fraud together on Tuesdays

yet another instance of someone fresh would HATE, but fresh grows an attachment to him. "aw, but he's cute" he won't be cute when he murders you fresh

fresh x swap

two words. Christmas party

that au has my freshswap brain foaming at the mouth. they giggle and gaggle together and plot evil pranks together. fresh probably helps him with puzzles

fresh x greaser

I used to not like these two. I used to not like greaser in general. buut the fanart swayed me,,,,, and now I like it. but JUST A LITTLE.

fresh x fatal error

fatal error is geno and error sorta combined in my eyes, and I ship both of them with fresh ,,,, ssso I can't help myself ,,,,,

fresh x horror

tall buddies. very tall in fact

can you tell I'm getting lazy

fresh x dream

also that underverse episode

ok bye

[cafeeeeeeeeee3]

I WANT TO DRAW CENTAUR HORSE CROSS SO *BAD* BUT I SUCK SO HARD AT DRAWING HORSES

Like, hear me out. This man??? He is HEAVILY associated with the royal guard. There is simply NOT ENOUGH centaur Cross.

I first though Abt making him a Clydesdale, because, y'know, they're MAJESTIC. Beautiful horses. However, I heard that, although you can ride them, they're not exactly the sort of animal ya wanna ride for much(apparently their feet"" get injured often), which, y'know, I can't picture Cross not being. They're apparently "draught" horses??

So, uh, they are more about carrying stuff. Even though the shape language would be amazing for these, because they're very robust, quadrangular, it does not quite fit.

So, uh, I found some stuff. I found stuff about "destrier horses", which were horses trained for battle, and the Wikipedia lists some breeds. There are some listed, but the one I thought coolest would be the Andalusian horse, because not only does he seem to be the one most popularly known for being a battle horse, but it is also known as "Spanish pure breed", which I thought would be nice, because it is a little callback (even if he is not Spanish, following the Sans nationality = creator's nationality thing).

The Wikipedia article also cites its use in diplomacy. I think it's a neat parallel to him being a tool to appease somebody else (after all, he is simply a result of Xgaster trying to create a perfect world for Xchara and Xfrisk).

The problem is,,, I do not know how to draw horses. Much less understand the difference between horse breeds and accentuate them.

But, uh, this is an idea. I've also been thinking about making the dream tale twins into elks because,,, it simply fits their vibe??? It would be hella cool to have apple slices, rotted away (perhaps apple cores?) stuck in his antlers, sprouting into small plants that droop low — bowing, if you will.

I also thought about minotaur Horror(or simply have something along the lines of Cross, but with a taurine body. I do not think the minotaur myth exactly fits with him, but this has never been about that tbh), simply because,,, isn't it fun when the bull is the owner of the slaughterhouse himself???? And, like, I feel like there's such fucking sick metaphors to make with that. Nobody creates carnivore animals to eat in an extensive fashion because the animal would eat more than it's worth, ultimately making for a model that does not sustain itself.

I've kinda thought about dust and Killer, but, like, there's just not enough reason in any of my choices??? I think Ram Dust is really sick, because "yes". I do not have a deep reason for it.

I,,, don't really know what to do for Killer tho, if I were to do something like that. I thought about those deer with fangs, because I think that the way that their outward display of aggression ends up being bad for them kinda mirrors Killer.

I mean, if I remember correctly, he's quite literally taken off his "powerful" eye. It's why he cannot summon gaster blasters like other sanses do, instead being able to only summon a single one.

It isn't exactly about aggression, as much as it seems to be about trill seeking.

I do know this isn't canon, but I see Killer as an absolute adrenaline junkie. Mfer wants to feel good desperately, and he will hurt himself in the process without thinking twice — he will pet the kitties, whether they give him rabies or not (maybe some days he'll understand what the scratches mean and just,,, go away. Others, he will just try to coo and insist that they are really cute).

Anyways.

I also kinda wanted to make Killer a deer because in portuguese, deer is slang for gay and I really needed to fit this joke somewhere.

I have no idea what stuff like Swap and Ink would be too,,, like, Swap might be a moose because they're close enough to elks and they're also hella bulky, and really remind me about maple syrup, but, uh, they're REALLY big. Swap ain't that big. He's a small tank. Which might bring him closer to sheep territory, but I need a sheep that is BULKY, a sheep that can pack a punch,,, but I'm not sure. Since he is usually regarded as looking fairly weak(AND HE IS WEAK AS HELL. Swap has the stats of a normal sans, but none of the benefits,, I think he has TOP NOTCH protective gear so that most hits simply do not cause any damage. He can take the weight. I also think he has a shield, and he absolutely uses that shield as a main weapon — he fights against people whose defense is attack by making his attack his defense) a sheep might work???

Ink makes me think about cows. Because of the splatters, and because cows scream unhingedness to me (miltank flashbacks), while being usually hella strong.

They're not agile, though.

Ink always felt like a monkey to me, as the closest analogy. I mean, think about him,,, just,,, it does not fit here, y'know?

I also think it would be funny.

Anyways, I ramble too much.

[ultimateempath]

BadSans!Swap AU FT. Nightberry

-Swap starts off as a star sans and had believed that Ink and Dream were the best pair of friends he ever could've asked for. Sure it was extremely difficult keeping up with people who were essentially gods, but he didn't mind as long as he could help people.

-During a particularly brutal yet successful battle against the bad sanses, Swap ends up collapsing from an injury and tries to reach out for help...only to find no one there. His so-called 'friends' abandon him in the crumbling au, leaving him to die in the freezing snow of a town he recognizes but knows is not his own.

-Fortunately, Nightmare finds his unconsious body and begrudgingly rescues the betrayed sans before meeting back up with the rest of his team, having originally planned to torture or manipulate the smaller monster into joining their ranks.

-However, as it turns out, Swap joins them with little to no resistance. He had time to think back in what he had originally thought would be his tomb, and he began to truly realize just how much the Stars had actually mistreated him. Dragged along on missions with barely any time to eat or sleep, rarely given permission to visit his own au to let his beloved brother know how he was doing, all while paying no attention to Swaps mortal needs. So when Nightmare offers him a spot in the bad sanses, he takes it almost immediately.

-Swap gets along well with the rest of the bad sanses, observing their various hobbies and assisting where he can. Wether it be helping Horror with his garden, proving to have a surprisingly good poker face while playing cards with Dust, assisting Killer with pet care and blade repair, gaming with Cross, discussing literature with Nightmare, or showing off his cooking skills, he's settled in with the crew quite nicely.

-Nightmare and Swaps interest in one another, both platonically and romantically, grow over time as the two get to know each other better. Swap finally gets to see the softer sides of him, such as the gentle care he gives his underlings and the more therapeutic aspects of his abilities. Meanwhile Nightmare, while refreshed by Swaps kindness and concern, also gets to see much more intimidating and somewhat frightening sides of the peppy Sans.

-As Swap acclimates and gets more involved with the dark sanses' day-to-day activities, Nightmare quickly learns just how badly Ink and Dream screwed up by mistreating him as well as the potential the two let go to waste.

-First and foremost, Swap is highly skilled in combat. Nightmare originally thought extra training would be needed to get him caught up with the rest of the team, but the dark prince was swiftly proven wrong when each of Swaps sparring partners came back exhausted and thoroughly bruised. His energy outmatches that of his peers and he's very good at combining abilities, always eager to learn new moves.

-Secondly, Swap is more intelligent than they first assumed. When he was finally allowed to attend meetings, it took no time at all for the boney blue blur to start pointing out holes in mission plans, trap blueprints, and battle tactics while throwing out impressive ideas of his own.

-Finally and most importantly...Swap has connections. He can keep Errors interference to a minimum with a stern expression, call up the disgusting 90s parasite whenever a distraction is necessary or someone needs to dissappear, and even convince the reaper himself to turn a blind eye. Nightmare and the others quickly discovered that Swap has a variety of sanses and papyruses wrapped around his finger.

-Nightmare quickly appoints Swap as his advisor & right hand man, the bad sanses the biggest threat they've ever been thanks to the blue menace.

-It doesn't take long for Nightmare and Swap to become an offical couple, Dream and Ink wallowing in regret as they begin to stack up losses against them.

-no one stands a chance against the lord of darkness and his beloved blue beast.

[eurothug4000]

INTERVIEW WITH TOMM HULETT - SENIOR ASSOCIATE PRODUCER ON SILENT HILL DOWNPOUR

As part of my video on Silent Hill Downpour, Tomm kindly agreed to be interviewed! A big thank you to him for providing insight on the making of this title :)

Q1 - What led to deciding that open world aspects would be included in Downpour? Was it the trend of games at the time or was there something else that influenced this?

I had several aspects of the original SH games that I kept championing for the new ones, and one aspect was how much of SH1 was exploring the town itself. It was (relatively) huge! SH2 had a smaller more focused set of “town” areas, and then SH3 reused those. Origins brought it back to a degree but there wasn’t very much to do beyond the main quest.

Another thing I loved was how the notes in the original games would often mention characters or side stories that were not part of the main quest but definitely contributed to the atmosphere and creepiness. Lastly, as you said, open world games like GTA3 were cropping up all over. So these three factors all coalesced to become Downpour’s big explorable town filled with optional side quests that told little mini stories. But to be clear – we were not asked “can you put in something modern like Open World?” It’s more like what we wanted to accomplish with the town and sidequests made sense in an open world context, and then that created an exciting bullet point for marketing organically.

Q2 - Was there ever supposed to be a UFO ending? If yes, was there a rough outline for it?

We were not planning a specific “UFO” ending and I don’t actually recall why. We did plan for a joke ending, which turned into the happy birthday surprise. Or, it’s possible we planned for a UFO ending but someone came up with that instead and we just went with it, due to the nice escaping prison aspect of it.

I do know we wanted a wide variety of ending types, like the original games had, which is how we ended up with cool twists like the Anne/Murphy prison swap, etc.

Q3 - How did you get Korn on board for the theme?

When we got the unfortunate news we could not involve Akira Yamaoka, we knew that finding a worthy replacement for the game’s score was job # 1, and we were fortunate enough to be connected with Daniel Licht who did an amazing job matching the mood of Silent Hill with his own style.

But another big aspect of the SH music is the attract mode video, along with a rock song. Of course Yamaoka-san had always handled this as well, along with Mary Elizabeth McGlynn. Since this was kind of up in the air, our licensing department wanted to find a good licensing partner that might extend the awareness of Silent Hill beyond its core audience, but still sounded brand-appropriate.

A lot of different artists were discussed, but in the end, Korn made the most sense due to a variety of factors I can’t really get into. However one key factor was tailoring the lyrics to Silent Hill Downpour, rather than just being given an unreleased B-side as-is.

Q4 - The architecture (more so interior) style in Downpour feels very unique compared to the other SH games. Slightly gothic, almost like fancy buildings in New York - especially those apartments and office buildings! Although once I learned that the development team was based in the Czech Republic, I felt like maybe that was a big influence. What was the thought process behind going for this different style of environment?

I think a lot of this is, as you said, the Czech influence. Western Europe and North America have enough common threads I think it’s probably more similar than we realize if that is our whole sphere of reference. And obviously game players are familiar with Japan through games (Yakuza and Persona of course, among others) but Eastern Europe is far less represented. I think that Vatra “making what they know” had a positive effect on the games visuals and ambiance. It is the most unique and interesting of the Western SH games.

I think it’s generally accepted that as a whole, western gamers prefer the original SH games, made in Japan. And it turns out, there are a lot of Japanese fans who love the Western games most (going so far as to import Homecoming!), which was an interesting thing to discover. It tells me that an important part of Silent Hill’s creepiness is that sense that something is just OFF that you can’t put your finger on, and maybe it’s a result of unconscious cultural influences creeping into the design of the town itself, then being perceived through a different cultural lens.

Q5 - What were some of the most difficult parts of developing Downpour?

A minor challenge was the fact that fear is so subjective. Between two people sure, but let alone 2 teams in different cultures. So at times there was a lot of heated discussion about what the important parts of a scare or intense moment were, and what the audience would respond to.

The biggest difficulty though was external, just knowing the feelings and expectations of the fanbase at the time. The other Western Silent Hills had their fans of course, but nothing had made a huge splash like Silent Hill 2 (which itself wasn’t popular immediately but that’s a different story entirely!) We were very proud of Shattered Memories, but that was an unconventional entry and we just really wanted Downpour to be the “HD Silent Hill” that fans deserved. We all put a lot of pressure on ourselves. However even taking a quick peek at any forum there was so much cynicism it made the work challenging. And then at some point during the final year or so of development, an infamous series of videos released and sucked up a lot of air in the room as it were.

It also ended a lot of the spirited debate that Silent Hill fans enjoyed, as there were a lot of declarations of the “true” canon or “here’s what the game is REALLY about”. Those debates were always what kept the fanbase alive and vibrant, and it was rough seeing that go away. I don’t really feel like Downpour was given its fair shake in the indepth analysis department, which I was really looking forward to seeing, during development!

Q6 - What were some of the reasons behind the enemy designs of the game? Are their appearances all stemming from Murphy’s mind and experiences? Or Anne’s too? The prisoner types felt like they could be both, but the Dolls in particular made me wonder since they feel more related to her backstory!

It is kept purposefully vague. Obviously at first you’re supposed to assume this is Murphy’s Silent Hill, and the enemies need to support that. But then when you realize this is perhaps Anne’s story that Murphy is caught up in, they can’t betray that idea either. Fortunately the two characters have a lot in common. Murphy is a father willing to do anything to avenge his child. Anne is a child willing to do anything to avenge her father. Both have failed marriages because of their trauma, and so on.

Honestly this is one of the things I was hoping to see more debate about among the fanbase!

Q7 - For the Anne’s Story comics, was that originally supposed to be the basis for DLC for the game? I saw a mention of this online but wasn’t sure how true it was! Were there plans for other DLCs too?

In the very beginning, Anne and Murphy were conceived to be a 2-player experience, so each player could see situations from a different perspective, and we could play with that idea a lot. However after a very short time we realized that idea was a bit ahead of its time, and we focused on making a solid single-player horror game, but the overall story themes remained – but obviously you see less of what Anne is actually doing moment to moment.

As we were wrapping up the game for release, there were conversations about DLC and what form that might take, and Devin and I knew instantly it would be Anne’s side of the story. I wrote up a general structure of it for internal discussions. DJ Ricks had also had a more detailed story originally, so I tried to get some of those details back in as well (when this DLC fell through, I added his story in the Book of Memories DLC – if anybody still has a Vita and wants to delve into that!)

Right around the time I was leaving Konami, there were early discussions with IDW to release a companion comic to Downpour, since Tom Waltz was their SH guy (and has gone on to write their TMNT books and many other great things. Congrats Tom!) and had also written Downpour for us. I gave him a breakdown of my ideas for key moments in Anne’s story; things like Murphy and Anne operating in different chronologies (Murphy sees Anne in the clocktower otherworld BEFORE seeing Ricks, but Anne traverses that otherworld AFTERWARD), or a drowning Anne desperately reaching out for Ricks’s hand, only to find it’s a severed hand tied to his boat.

It took a few years for that deal to come together with the right artist, but thankfully it did! It’s a great companion piece to the game – there are some new details in there that weren’t in my treatment, but it was no longer my story to tell – I experienced it as a fan.

Q8 - What is something you’ve seen players rarely notice in the game which you think is a cool detail? Can be found in the world, story, gameplay or anything!

A tangible detail might be the road signs. I spent a long time figuring out where the other districts of Silent Hill would be, as well as Ashfield, and made sure they were properly charted on the large road signs. I made a map and measured distance and everything.

Story wise, I think Murphy’s role in the story is a bit misunderstood. Many players see it as a standard tale of the town punishing our protagonist but it’s a lot more nuanced than that. Anne, I feel, is being punished, because she is out for revenge right now. Murphy already got his revenge, and dealt with the consequences, and “did his time” as it were. Yes, he has to deal with the consequences of his actions – but those are consequences caused by Sewell, and they were already in motion outside of Silent Hill.

Murphy’s journey is more akin to “Born from a Wish”, or even Eileen’s role in SH4. While most of Walter’s victims did something wrong, Eileen was marked because she was kind to him. It’s basically circumstantial. The Orphanage level is meant to be something different from a standard Silent Hill construct. The town is almost rewarding Murphy for passing a test. It gives him a key that says “Freedom" and everything we weren’t being subtle. And if you watch during the boat scene, there are clear skies ahead of Murphy (and dark storm behind Anne).

And then of course the Silent Hill ambiguity – we all know the only thing on the other side of Toluca Lake is more Silent Hill, so that’s up for debate. Again I was really excited to see how the fans dissected our story and there was never a big discourse about it.

Q9 - There’s a big stretched face with a monocle at the end of the rollercoaster section in Devil’s Pit, I couldn’t wrap my head around it (ha) but who is that/what’s their backstory? I saw somewhere mention it was supposed to be a boss which appeared in a trailer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSSoIWJPL-4) but wanted to confirm what the deal was!

Originally there was a boss encounter with JP Sater which took the form of this hideous train man creature. The goal was to have characters such as Howard and Sater, who have both accepted their places in Silent Hill, but with drastically different results.  This would be something for players to ponder and explore.

For various reasons we needed to cut this encounter, and it isn’t exactly key to the story, but we didn’t want to waste the creepy model. So we extended the mine train sequence so it could end with the reveal and taunting by Sater. I guess Murphy can be thankful that he wasn’t part of Sater’s story, so he didn’t have to overcome an enormous steamengine behemoth.

Q10 - Always love hearing about any strong memories you have working on the game, feel free to share anything that comes to mind!

Devin and I both spent a lot of time in the Czech Republic during development, both together and alone. I think a lot "clicked" for both of us early on, when Andy Pang (Producer) took us on a trip to some of the sights around Brno, which included the Punkva Caverns – the inspiration behind the Devil’s Pit.

At the bottom of the caves is a river, and your group of maybe 20 tourists board a small boat and a guide navigates you through these dimly-lit caverns. The guide was discussing that this journey changes based on rainfall, as the water level in the caves may be too high to be safe, and as he said this, we noticed the ceiling was coming AWFULLY low. Especially on the left side of the boat, where we were. In fact, we had to lean over on our neighbors to avoid it. In fact, we scraped our shoulders a bit on the rock.

Afterward we both noted that in America, they would NEVER have sailed at that water level. In fact, there would be signs and barriers preventing you from touching the rock, and the boat might even be on a track or guide of some kind, to ensure maximum safety.

We understood a lot more about Downpour’s Silent Hill after that excursion.

[moodooivy]

Swap verse

And here it is. The Swap Verse. I want this to be more than just "Character swaps with Character". So here is a full list of who is here and who they are. Enjoy.

Swap Nightmare is Phobos. Name inspired by the Martian Moon, and by the god of fear who goes by the same name. Swaps with Dream. In this AU, Phobos is the guardian of positivity. While he represents negative energy and such, it is his job to keep the balance and watch over the opposite side of the tree. And just like Dream, everyone loves him more than his brother. But unlike Dream, Phobos actually earns and deserves the adoration. He knew the villagers did not love his brother as much and tried his best to him without letting him know people didn't love him. I'll explain the "incident" when I get to swap Dream but just know that Phobos does still eat the dark apple and become a goofy octopus we know. But unlike the original Nightmare, Phobos felt bad after what happened and decided to leave the village, not believing he deserved the adoration anymore. Phobos is still the leader of a gang. But it's not a group Phobos started to spread death and fear across the multiverse. Phobos started his group which I shall title The Good Sanses (Real creative I know) was started by Phobos when he began to take in Sans AUs who were in pain and alone. AUs that had the most negativity leaking through. His Salt equivalent is Phosphor. Name inspired by the word that means fluorescent light.

Swap Error is Cyber. Name inspired by the word that means related to computers and technology. Swaps with Ink. In this AU, Cyber is still the "destroyer of AUs". I want to go or a The Collector from The Owl House vibe. Cyber's story is generally the same as Error's... Which is... Well... I'm not sure what Error's story is but here goes; Cyber was previously swap Geno (Who I will discuss later), who was previously Blue. Cyber agrees there AUs are anomalies of the original Undertale AU. But he actually likes them. His goal is not to destroy them but to make them look pretty. He'll decorate the AUs with long patches of his yarn, make it all look pretty, and then move onto the next. Cyber is not completely devoid of malice. Just like Ink, Cyber is not necessarily "good". If he believes an AU is beyond saving he will destroy it (Hense keeping the Destroyer Of AUs title). He sees the multiverse as his personal dollhouse and the monsters inside, his dolls. Whom which he can toy with however he wants. His Salt equivalent is Crypto. Name inspired by the word short for cryptocurrency.

Swap Cross is Scout. Name inspired by the word that means soldier or person who searches. Swaps with Blue. In this AU, Scout is basically if Cross were to instead join Dream/The good side. But he joined Phobos. Scout has a very similar personality to Blue. He is very helpful and is the shining beacon of The Good Sanses. His Salt equivalent is Scotch. Name inspired by the fact that it also starts with 'sco'.

Swap Dust is Powder. Name inspired by the word that means particals. He doesn't swap with anyone, but he is meant to have a similar personality to Horror. In this AU, when Stretch tried to kill Blue, Blue instead fought back and kills Stretch. He felt terrible for it. But at the same time it felt so "good". So nice to not be a weakling for once and have someone else's blood/dust on his hands. So he decided to keep going and start killing everyone to feed his newfound bloodlust. After the first reset he did it all over again And after the second reset, and after the third, fourth, and fifth. After about 50 resets the human just... Stopped coming back. Powder is very mentally broken but not in the same way Dust is. Powder is just a complete manic mess. He is very emotional and cries over every little thing and is very clingy. Powder is similar to Horror in the sense that despite having a very tragic origin he is in a way the least harmful and cares for the other members the most. Powder has a ghost Pap as well whom he pretends is real as a way of coping. Sometimes it seems like he knows it's not real, other times it can be very hard to tell. His ghost Pap usually just mocks and verbally abuses Powder. His Salt equivalent is Pollen. Name inspired by the word that means powdery substance.

Swap Killer is Hunter. Name inspired by the word that means someone that hunts. He doesn't swap with anyone, but he is meant to have the same personality as Dust. In this AU, I wanted to play off the fact that Killer lacks emotions. Instead of lacking emotions but still acting with a lot of expression (The best way I can describe Killer) Hunter shows little to no expression. And unlike Dust, Hunter has no sense of empathy or sympathy for anyone he's hurt or anyone around him that is hurting. Hunter tries his best with Powder and Spook because he knows how hard their past is but he can never bring it in himself to fully sympathize. His Salt equivalent is Heather. Name inspired by... I dunno.

Swap Horror is Spook. Name inspired by the word that means unnerving. He doesn't swap with anyone, but he is meant to have the same personality as Killer. In this AU, not much really changes. Blue is the one who's eye is required for the Core. Alphys is never able to bring herself to take it herself, but when Spook finds out about this, he himself offers to let her. Spook is very dim witted and empty-headed. A silly goofball. He usually just spends his time eating because he's always hungry. His Salt equivalent is Spade. Name inspired by the fact it also starts with 'sp'.

Swap Dream is Hypnos. Name inspired by the god of sleep that has the same name. Swaps with Nightmare. In this AU, Hypnos is the guardian of negativity. While he represents positive energy and such, it is his job to keep the balance and watch over the opposite side of the tree. And just like Nightmare, the villagers do not like him. But unlike Nightmare, Hypnos is kind o justifiable to dislike. He's a bit of a self entitled jerk. He is very jealous of Phobos and has always suspected the villagers loved him more. Hypnos is always trying to get some love but never can. Until one day he gets tired of it. Hypnos eats a positive apple to try and gain some attention. But when that doesn't work he snaps and tries to kill his own brother. Phobos eats the dark apple in order to become strong so he can fight back. But before Hypnos and him and fully fight, Hypnos turns to stone. Once Hypnos came back from stone he swore to himself that he'd get back at Phobos (For existing I guess). And so he started his own little group called the Fallen Sanses. His Salt equivalent is Hydria. Name inspired by the word hydra.

Swap Ink is Slate. Name inspired by a shade of grey and 'blank 'slate''. Swaps with Error. In this AU, Slate is still the "protector of AUs". Slate is still the one who creates the AUs. But here, his attitude is much more similar to Error's. He is VERY particular about his creations and if he finds that there is a single thing wrong with it he will destroy it. Even if it's when he changes his mind after creating the monsters that live in the AU. Slate gets very jealous. If he thinks someone is getting more attention than him he will purposely deface their work. Which is why he hates Cyber. After Cyber "ruins" the AUs Slate works "So HaRd" to "perfect", he will destroy it. Even if he could very easily just clean up the mess. If Slate befriends someone he might leave the AU they live in be. But one wrong move and he will destroy that AU just out of spite. His Salt equivalent is Sullen. Name inspired by the word that means gloomy and depressed.

Swap Blue is Cobalt. Name inspired by the shade of blue and material that goes by the same name. Swaps with Cross. In this AU, Cobalt is basically if Blue was recruited by the Bad Sanses instead. Blue became a royal guard in Underswap and then was recruited to become a Fallen Sans. But what happened was he didn't join by choice. Hypnos took him away from his AU before Slate decided to destroy it. Perhaps he say potential. Neither are sure. He just did it. Anyway. Blue was renamed Cobalt to sound more intimidating I guess? Cobalt will often question Hypnos and Slate's morals. His Salt equivalent is Cloud. Name inspired by Cloudberries.

Swap Lust is Poly. Name inspired by the word polyamorous. In this AU, Poly is feminine. That's it. Your welcome. His Salt equivalent is Posy. Name inspired by the flowers.

Swap Ccino is Muffin. Name inspired by the food. In this AU, Muffin will be made to be as cute as possible. He still has a cafe. But instead of cats he has a bunch of bunnies and instead of a bunny hoodie he has a cat hoodie. His Salt equivalent is Mocha. Name inspired by the chocolate.

Swap Geno is Cide. Name inspired by the last part of Geno'cide'. In this AU, Cide is basically Blue if he were put in Geno's situation. If the human were to somehow find a way to kill Stretch first. His Salt equivalent is Ciao. Name inspired by the fact that there weren't a lot of options.

Swap Reaper is Phantom. Name inspired by the word that means ghost. In this AU, Phantom is basically Blue if he was Reaper I guess. His Salt equilavent is Phasmid. Name inspired by stick bugs for some reason.

Swap Fresh is Tyke. Name inspired by the word that means young rascal. In this AU, Tyke is still a parasite. But with a few changes. Instead of being incredibly dark and intimidating, Tyke is very short and "cute". He is designed to deceive others and make them trust him. He bears a striking resemblance to fanon Blueberry. "Also he tawks wike dis". He wears a cute pair of glasses that neutrally say 'UwU'. But make no mistake. Despite his cutesy appearance, Tyke is still plenty dangerous. Tyke has a very similar aesthetic to a 2000s kid. His Salt equivalent is Tux. Name inspired by the word tuxedo.

Swap Science is Gizmo. Name inspired by the fact Gizmo is a nerd name I guess. Gizmo is an absolute nerd and I luv him. His Salt equivalent is Gemma. Name inspired by the fact that Gemma is also a name that starts with G.

Swap Midnight is Goji. Name inspired by Gojiberries/Wolfberries. Swaps with Ivan. Goji acts like an animal like Ivan. But instead of a dog she acts like a cat. She is still shy like Midnight and doesn't like confrontation. She'll avoid any situation she thinks may lead to that the best she can. She's also not as angry and nippy as Ivan. Goji's parents are technically Cobalt and Cyber.

Swap Ivan is Shoah. Name inspired by the word that means catastrophe. Swaps with Midnight. Shoah is very very shy. He doesn't like to talk to people because he can't really talk well himself. Shoah will often refer to himself when he speaks instead of using words like "I" or "Me". Shoah's parents are Spook and Powder.

Swap Zany is Morose. Name inspired by the word that means sullen and gloomy. Swaps with Chip. Morose is basically Zany but if he was raised by Dream. His kind nature isn't held back by his evil surroundings. Morose is very cheerful and positive. Just like Zany, Morose doesn't really have parents. Phobos made him out of positive energy.

Swap Chip is Ennui. Name inspired by the word that means bored and lethargic. Swaps with Zany. Ennui is exactly what her name is. She is neutral to almost everything. She's glued to her phone. Ennui's parents are Cobalt and Cyber.

Swap Honeydew is Durian. Name inspired by the fruit. Swaps with Domino. Durian is still a very smart and scientific skeleton. She's just a bit more dirty like Domino.

Swap Pitaya is Peach. Name inspired by the fruit (Only because Plum was taken). Swaps with Mayonnaise. Peach is a cheeky little prankster like Mayo. But her pranks are food related. Like pie in the face or broccoli in chocolate.

Swap Mayonnaise is Nutella. Name inspired by the food because it's sweet. Swaps with Pitaya. Nutella is now the yandere for Peach.

Swap Domino is Flask. Name inspired by the contain, which can be used for chemicals or alcohol. Swaps with Honeydew. Flask is still into card games and stuff like that. But he's not a gambler. He's a good boy that just likes to do card tricks and magic tricks for fun.

Swap Casper is Felix. Name inspired by the name that means fortunate and because it sounds like a rich kid's name. Swaps with Constellation. Felix is just as cruel and hateful as Casper. But it's more so a spoiled cruel like the way Constellation is. He's like a generic mean rich kid you see in cartoons. But Felix is also a tricky devil. He likes to play mind games with people just to annoy them. Felix's parents are Powder and Hunter.

Swap Constellation is Calypso. Name inspired by the goddess who goes by the same name. Swaps with Casper. Calypso is basically Constellation but if she was raised by Nightmare. Hypnos fully indulges Calypso on her spoiled cruelty. Just like Constellation, Calypso doesn't really have parents. Hypnos made her out of negative energy.

Swap Abstract is Tinker. Name inspired by the word that means to fiddle with something and repair it. Swaps with Desire. Tinker loves to fiddle with anything they can get their grubby hands on to see what they can do with it and how they can make it look prettier. They still can't speak.

Swap Scarlet is Maroon. Name inspired by the shade of dark red. Swaps with Dread. Maroon is very dull like Hunter. She constantly has a blank expression on her face. Maroon's parents are Hunter and Spook.

Swap Dread is Blanc. Name inspired by the french word that means white. Swaps with Scarlet. Blanc is very hopeful and full of life. She likes to see the beauty in everything. Blanc's parents are Cide and Phantom.

Swap Desire is Iris. Name inspired by the word that means colorful and pretty. Swaps with Abstract. Since Desire can talk I wanted to go for the complete opposite affect Abstract has. Iris never shuts up and is constantly babbling about something. She loves the arts and is always on her phone taking photos and selfies.

Undertale: Toby Fox

Blue: Popcornpr1nce

Ink: Comyet

Dream: Jokublog

Nightmare: Jokublog

Geno: Crayonqueen

Error: Crayonqueen

Fresh: Crayonqueen

Horror: Sour-Apple-Studios

Killer: Rahafwabas

Dust: Ask-Dusttale

Lust: Nsfwshamecave

Reaper: Renrink

Science: HolyTraitor

Cross: Jakei95

Ccino: Black-Nyanko

Ivan, Midnight, Zany, Chip, Domino, Mayonnaise, Pitaya, Honeydew, Constellation, Casper, Desire, Dread, Scarlet, Astract: Me

Swap Verse: Me

[qstea]

hi! would it be possible to get headcanons about what kind of gifts they'd give or what they would do for their relationship anniversary? gender neutral reader for geno, error and if possible, fatal error as well.

(i've never sent an ask before so hopefully this is alright, its ok to refuse. love your writing!! :D)

📎 What They Do for Their Relationship Anniversary ★

Featuring: Geno!Sans, Error!Sans, Fatal_Error!Sans

#Notes: u gave me my top favs tysm *kisses you* srry this took like seven thousand years to make lolol but here u goooo

pronouns used: they/them

Geno Sans

Putting it in simple words, they have no idea what to do for the anniversary.

Definitely goes to Sans for advice and probably rambles about the situation to him. To which Sans just replies ‘get them something memorable, or take them somewhere, like per se, the spot where you met. maybe a vacation?’ and it just all starts to click in Geno’s head.

Alright, so. Their plan is to 1. Take you to the very top of the mountain where they first saw the surface and have a peaceful picnic with you. 2. Buy some of your favorite snacks and a movie you like and eat some popcorn up in their room, and 3. Cuddle and fall asleep together. Perfect anniversary plan.

Still super nervous about how it will go, and isn’t the best at speaking to others. Papyrus and Sans may or may not tag along and make it slightly less peaceful and a little less like alone time between the two of you.

If that does happen, it makes the atmosphere somewhat excitable. Geno isn’t the happiest about it, mainly because they really just want to be alone with you and just bathe in each others company, but if you’re enjoying it, they’re enjoying it.

Logically, some things end up backfiring during the anniversary, but it’s the thought that really counts. And for you two, is all that really mattered in the first place.

Error Sans

I don’t see them really caring about anniversaries. But if you’re super into it, they’ll go along with it.

Not really for taking you anywhere? I think they prefer staying in their anti-void and sharing their bean bag with you while watching undernovela (tbh you should’ve seen this coming. come on, it’s error.)

Afterwards, they’ll open a portal to Outertale and you guys can just hang out and watch the stars. Will point out constellations for you and everything. Ink likes to follow you and Error around mostly because he’s genuinely surprised Error managed to get into a relationship with somebody and for this long too! You better bet Ink’s going to make ship art for you guys on your anniversary. Outertale paintings are his specialty., so expect to find a few art pieces near your date spot in Outertale.

Error is mildly embarrassed and flustered when they do find these drawings though.

The kind of monster to make you a tapestry or a plushie of themselves. Not used to giving people gifts so they’ll just throw them out you and scurry away like the rat bastard they are.

The anniversary isn’t remotely well put together but it’s a nice spending it with Error, so it cancels the flaws out.

Fatal Error Sans

He has a vague idea on what an anniversary is supposed to look like. After being in the save screen for so long and then having Error brutally mangle his code, you can imagine just what that shit does to your memory.

You’ll have to bring up the topic of a relationship anniversary for them to even remember that those things exist.

Very busy a lot of the time (killing Papyruses and multiple versions of Swap and piecing their code together to try to make themselves a new brother, yknow the drill) so might not actually even have an anniversary with you.

But you mean the world to him, so if you practically beg him to do something for your anniversary, he will eventually give in.

Again you’re probably gonna have to do a lot of the work. He’ll just go along with whatever you have in mind. He doesn’t mind.

The most they’ll do is steal get some snacks for you.

Might attempt to crochet or knit something for you with his red strings but he’s not that experienced. He’ll definitely learn for you, though.

Most definitely not experienced in the art of romance so be patient with them.

[mrs-stans]

The Sebastian Stan guide to nice and easy brown suits

Colder weather is menswear weather. And in New York City, the autumn is ushering in some new tailored bangers

By Adam Cheung

Whether it's a superhero suit or a deeply formal suit, Sebastian Stan just, well… suits everything. Every single time he's got a press event or a red carpet coming up, he always goes hard with his tailoring. So when he's out there promoting his next big A24 film, A Different Man, you can expect more of the good, same stuff.

When most dudes pick a suit, they go for black or navy or grey. It's the safe option, and one that you can wear again and again (and again) no matter what. But if you really want to switch things up a bit, take a leaf out of the Emmy nominee's book and go for brown instead.

Styled by Michael Fisher, Stan's Frame suit (the Los Angeles label that keeps things very clean and very European) featured a slightly oversized fit, pointy lapels, and a double-breasted design. He wore it sans belt for casual kinda vibe, and he doubled down on this by swapping out the prim white shirt for a black tee instead. Down south, it was matching trousers that trailed about a mile or two behind him and some lovely leather shoes. And because he has always been a Cartier man, he had the Santos strapped to his left wrist, finished in some shiny, shiny yellow gold.

It was definitely a tiny little bit more out-there compared to the “normal” suits worn by normal guys, but it always pays to take risks, no matter how small they may be. Just check out Declan Rice's mad two-piece from the Labrum show or Brad Pitt's freaky Marni fit for reference.

For the slightest change though, Sebastian Stan is a good measure. Plus, he looks kinda '70s, and that's always a vibe in September – or any other time of the year.

[thehollowwriter]

Summary: Jade and Malleus get the "one bed trope" treatment

A fic inspired by a post by @letmedisolveintomoss about the various clubs getting stuck in the "only one bed" trope, with Jade and Malleus being put together because they're the only members of their respective clubs.

This can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic

(Pls reblog and leave a comment ❤)

There's Not Mush-Room For Both of Us

It was a sweltering 36 degrees when the busses pulled up to the hotel parking lot.

Inside were groups of rambunctious, hot and sweaty teenagers who were tired and cramped.

The hotel stood tall, white and gold theme glittering in the sunlight and stark against the clear blue sky. It was a five star, very popular, and about to be terrorized by Night Raven College.

Malleus gazed out the window he was seated at as the bus drew to a stop. This was not as pleasant as the car ride he had in Kalim's hometown, but it was interesting none the less.

Sebek, unsurprisingly, was livid at the idea of his waka-sama travelling so casually in such a rickety vehicle that had clearly seen better days, but Malleus didn't mind. It was nice to experience something simply as a normal student on a school trip for a few days.

The clubs of Night Raven College were all going to give presentations at another school, showing off their work and research relating to magic or magical technology.

Malleus knew that gargoyles in the Valley of Thorns were magical, although not living like in Noble Bell College. They were quite useful in turning rain water into drinking water.

He was excited to share his discoveries and facts with others, now that he wasn't left behind like in his first year. That was an upsetting time.

"Alright." Said Crewel, who looked like he wished the bus crashed when they swerved earlier. "Puppies, I want you all to climb out and line up. You will be assigned hotel rooms according to your club, so make sure to stay with your fellow members."

Malleus blinked. He was the only member of his own club, and it wasn't like he made any acquaintances on the three hour drive here. Everyone in the bus avoided him.

Was he going to just be alone in a hotel room for two weeks?

Malleus sighed and accepted his fate with a pinch of salt. Other clubs were so big they could not fit into a single room and had to to be spread out. Malleus doubted there was any other club with only one number.

All the students from the busses gathered and the teachers began reading out groups and room numbers in order of club size.

To pass the time, Malleus gazed at the hotel, trying to see if he could find any gargoyles. To his disappointment, he couldn't see any.

Well then, he would have to take a flight to search further tonight.

The numbers dwindled slowly but surely, Sebek making off with Riddle and Silver and Lilia flying after Cater and Kalim.

Malleus found himself standing alone. That was fine. He was... used to being alone.

"Malleus Draconia." Trein looked at the list and back at him. "You will be sharing a room with Jade Leech, as you're both the only members of your clubs and Crowley did not want to book an extra room."

"Of course, professor." Came a voice and Malleus turned.

The Octavinelle vice stood there with a number of bags in his hands and floating around his head. Malleus hadn't seen him there.

"Room 609 on the top floor."

Jade took the key and sent a close-lipped smile Malleus's way. "I look forward to a two weeks stay with you, Malleus-san." He said, placing a hand on his chest.

Malleus was... surprised by Jade's almost non-chalant behaviour. Most students would try get a different room or swap with someone, pale faced and avoiding his gaze.

But Jade simply smiled and looked right into his eyes without even a hint of fear or even weariness.

"I return the sentiment, Leech." Malleus said, walking inside the hotel alongside the second year. "I'm sure we will enjoy each other's company."

Sharp teeth just barely poked out Jade's lips. "Please, Malleus-san, you may call me Jade."

Malleus was surprised for the second time in the span of three minutes. Nobody in his two and a half years of Night Raven College had ever asked him to call them by anything besides what he called them.

"Yes, of course... Jade." It felt strange on his tongue, but not unwelcome. Finally, somebody besides Sebek, Silver, and Lilia to be on first-name basis with.

They came up to an elevator and Malleus stopped short, looking the two metal doors up and down.

"Is something the matter, Malleus-san?" Jade inquired.

Malleus shook his head. "Not at all. I am simply unsure of how to use this contraption."

"Ah." Jade nodded. "You don't have this type of technology in the Valley of Thorns, then?"

"No, we use magic for almost everything. We have no need for technology."

"Well." Said Jade, looking at the elevator. "This type of technology would not be necessary in the Coral Sea, since all you need to do is swim up. It appears I don't know how to use this either." He looked sheepish for a split second before his face became neutral again. "I had meant to research it but it slipped my mind."

Jade looked at Malleus. Malleus looked at Jade. They both looked at the elevator.

"Shall we take the stairs?"

"Indeed."

Malleus would have teleported but... he would like to see if Jade would start a conversation.

As they made their way to the top floor, Malleus was impressed at how Jade was able to keep up with him. He certainly had more stamina than his dorm leader.

Jade tilted his head to the side at Malleus and hummed. "You are part of the Gargoyle Research Club, yes?"

"That is correct." Said Malleus, smiling proudly. "Not enough people appreciate that magnificence of gargoyles. And your club is?"

"The Mountain Lovers Club." Jade's voice pitched an octave as excitement lit up his heterochromatic eyes. "I often travel to the mountains for a few days to study various plant life. Although, my main focus is mushrooms."

"Mushrooms?"

"Indeed. Though they aren't plants. They are fungus that are more plant-like."

Malleus raised an eyebrow and they arrived at the top floor. "I did not know that." He said curiously. "But... mushrooms?

Jade smiled, closed eyes forming crescent shapes. "I simply adore mushrooms. They are endlessly fascinating and there is so much to learn about them. There thousands of variations and no single one is the same. They can be poisonous or delicious in a meal or function as a hallucinogenic."

Malleus's eyes widened slightly as he came a realization. "So... you could say that how you feel about mushrooms is like how I feel about gargoyles. They too, are endlessly fascinating, and there is no such thing as identical gargoyles. Not truly."

Jade's smile widened just a bit. "I suppose so, yes. Perhaps we could swap information, if you wish."

Malleus smiled back. "That sounds good. Ah, here we are."

They came to a stop to their door and Jade took the key from his pocket.

"I have heard good reviews of this hotel." Said Jade as he placed the key in the lock and turned it. "Excellent service, gorgeous views, and luxurious rooms. Let's see what we have."

He opened the door and Malleus would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed. He didn't know humans could make such lovely suites.

He and Jade stepped inside, admiring the white and gold colour palette and decor. There was a kitchen tucked into the corner, then a dining table and a lounge area with large couches and a flat screen television and just beyond that; a balcony looking out to the sea.

Jade put his bags down waved his magical pen. The bags that were floating by him opened up and at least twenty terrariums were pulled out, all containing different types of mushrooms.

Malleus looked at them in interest, taking note of the different species and colours and shapes, and he suddenly wished he knew what each of them were.

Jade made his way to the door that lead to the bedrooms and opened and stopped suddenly. "Oh." He blinked, looking into the bedroom of the hotel room in surprise. "Oh dear."

Malleus, who was poking curiously at the television, looked at him. "What is it?"

"It appears there may have been a mistake in the booking process." Jade murmured. "There is only one room. An en suite. And... only one bed."

Malleus left the tv and peered into the room. Jade was right. The room was large and lovely, but there was only one king sized bed, sitting pretty in the centre. "I see."

"It is too much of a hassle to change rooms now." Said Jade. "I can take the couch."

Malleus frowned. "That is a kind offer, Jade." He said slowly, carefully weighing his next words. "But that will not do. I cannot take the bed and leave you to sleep on a couch of all things." He hesitated before gesturing to the bed. "We can share, if you are comfortable with that."

Jade nodded and stepped into the room, letting his own guide his terrariums to settle about the room. "That sounds good, then." He checked his watch. "We should unpack. It is almost six and we have to go downstairs for dinner."

Malleus agreed and the two of them split the cupboard in half, Malleus's clothes on the left, Jade's on the right, and both their toiletries neatly packed in the bathroom.

When they went down for supper, Malleus felt quite disappointed when Silver, Sebek, and Lilia came over to him and Jade left his side to join Azul and Floyd.

Malleus almost wanted to make the room disappear so that he could talk to Jade some more. They promised to share their interests after all. But he would not be so brash.

Patience is key.

Dinner came to an end and Malleus bid his goodbyes, standing in the corner and patiently waiting for Jade to finish his conversation.

Jade waved to Azul and patted Floyd's head when his twin squeezed him goodbye, and then they went their separate ways.

Jade caught sight of Malleus and went to him, smiling.

"Hello, Malleus-san." He said. "It appears we are not the only ones with a rooming issue. Both Floyd and Azul's rooms only have one bed as well. It is quite amusing."

"Ah." Malleus smiled. "Lilia, Silver and Sebek have the same issue. It seems we have quite a conundrum on our hands."

"Indeed. Woe is us~"

The two of them chuckled slightly and then Jade went to take the stairs. Malleus stopped him, carefully taking his hand.

"I will take us there." Said the dragon fae. "It is quicker."

Before Jade could respond there was a flash of green light and they were in the bedroom. Jade stumbled slightly, lights dancing in his eyes, before straightening himself.

"Oh my." He said, blinking. "That was unexpected."

"My apologies!" Malleus said quickly, praying to the witch of Thorns that he hasn't just scared off his new companion. "I should have asked you."

"No no, it's quite alright." Jade waved him off, and touched the remaining green sparks curiously. "It was an interesting experience. Now, I believe we should get ready for bed. We have an early day tomorrow."

They brushed their teeth and Jade went to change in the bathroom, Malleus simply snapping his fingers to change into long black and gold pajamas.

He pulled open the covers in got in, sitting up and looking at the spot next to him. It was strange, knowing it wasn't going to be empty.  Knowing that he wasn't going to be alone.

Jade emerged from the bathroom and Malleus would have laughed if he weren't confused.

"Are those... mushrooms?"

Jade had a look of pride on his face as he opened his arms to show off his light purple pajamas littered with mushrooms and the word "kinoko" from top to bottom.

"I love all things mushroom, Malleus-san. Merchandise is no exception."

He then proceeded to climb into bed with no hesitation whatsoever and Malleus could not help but quirk an eyebrow at the casualness.

"You seem awfully calm in the presence of the Prince of Fae, Jade. Are you not afraid?"

Jade simply smiled at him. "I apologize if I have offended you, Malleus-san. In the deep of the Coral Sea there are horrors you could not begin to imagine. As they say, there is always a bigger fish. I have learned to be weary, but fear will only make you even tastier prey."

Malleus started. He looked at Jade curiously in silence for a moment, focusing on his face.

There was not a trace of fear, some slight guardedness and a bit of weariness, yes, but no fear or reluctance at all.

"How fascinating." He said at last. "I have heard about the Coral Sea, but never- ah- straight from a merman's mouth. It seems things are different there."

"They are bound to be. It is a dangerous life." Suddenly Jade laid and pulled the covers up to his chest. "Well? Are you going to tell me about gargoyles now? I never thought about gargoyles being interesting, I'm eager to hear what you have to say."

Malleus quirked an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic impatience and lay down as well. "I have to say the same for your mushrooms."

They turned off the lights and, in the dark, began to quietly share every little tidbit of history, features, and facts about their passions, listening intently and commenting when they could.

Jade was quite surprised. He never truly thought about gargoyles in this way. He supposed that he would have to look into them more.

"We should go look at gargoyles together sometime, then." He said softly  staring into Malleus's emerald green eyes. "I am sure it would be fun."

Malleus couldn't help but gasp a bit at that. "Really?"

"But of course."

Jade had originally wanted to use this situation to his advantage and slip something worthwhile from Malleus for Azul, but he decided against it.

Never before had somebody taken such keen interest in his mushrooms. It made him happy to see Malleus nod along, actually listening, and ask him various questions.

Malleus, meanwhile, was astounded. He never took much interest in mushrooms, even if there were a few fairy rings in Ramshackle's garden.

As far as Malleus was concerned, there were brown mushrooms and red mushrooms with white spots, and those were all he cared to know. But now, listening to Jade and looking at his terrariums, he wanted to know more. To see more.

"Jade, if you will be accompanying me to look at gargoyles, how about I accompany you to the mountains?"

...To spend more time with his... friend.

Now Malleus knew, Jade Leech was not someone that made buddies. But as far as he was aware, thanks to Yuu, this sort of thing was what friends did. Have a "sleepover", share stories, talk about things, stay up late.

It was in fact, very late. Almost three in the morning. But that was alright. If they slept in, nobody would dare try come in to wake them up except Lilia.

Jade's eyebrows raised and a look of surprise flashed across his face and he smiled. "That sounds... absolutely lovely, Malleus."

Malleus took note of the lack of "san" and he would dare say he felt giddy. It might be because Jade was just tired, but still. It counted as something.

After a moment Malleus continued to tell Jade about the talking gargoyles of the city of flowers, and how he had been rude enough to mistake one for a simple statute. Malleus still shuddered to think of it.

His story continued, Malleus completely sucked into his tale, until became aware of a sudden weight on his chest. He looked down, frowning.

"Oh."

Jade was out a like a light. Head on Malleus's chest and breathing soft and even.

Malleus stared down at him  baffled, before chuckling. "Yes, it is quite late. I think next time we should set a time to stop." He faltered for a moment, then placed his hand on Jade's head.

"Goodnight, Jade. Thank you for not leaving me alone."

-End

....................................

Tagging: @adarkenedforest @honey-milk-depresso @cupids-chamber @twisted-wonderland-but-gayer

I hope you all enjoyed, I'm really proud of this fic, especially since I don't write Malleus often.

Also these two are an underrated pair

[suzukiblu]

is there a way to read all of "JayKon soulmates, TimKon datemates, and the wrong Superboy." in one spot? going through the tag it's all jumbled, and it's one of my favorite fics of yours

Thank you! I like that one, I'm really pleased with how it's been coming out. ❤

Honestly, there is not an "all in one place" version of it, though, so have this read-more that will fix that problem for you, friend. This is the whole WIP so far (barring, like, some out-of-order bits that have not yet been woven into the larger whole, haha).

.

There's a couple of ways to ID a soulmate, but the traditional–and usual–one is a kiss. Basically any exchange of bodily fluids will do it, of course, but most people kiss way before they get around to fucking bareback and a kiss is also definitely less likely to result in hepatitis than swapping blood with strangers. And, like, it's also more romantic and that tends to appeal to people more even when the involved soulmates aren't actually romantic. It's way easier to laugh off that one time you slipped your destined BFF tongue than it is to explain a bloodborne illness to your GP. 

So naturally, Jason finds out who his soulmate is by accidentally bleeding all over the guy in the middle of a random stupid throwdown with supervillains in San Francisco.

Also, naturally said guy is Tim's boyfriend who still justifiably hates Jason's ass for all the fucked-up shit he's done and said to Tim. 

Jason is pretty sure this would count as another reason for Superboy to hate his ass, except the one mercy in this situation is that Superboy was unconscious for their accidental blood-swap, so he at least doesn't know they're soulmates. 

The lucky bastard.

Fuck everything, Jason thinks, and then resolves to never think about it again. Which he doesn't, because even having a thought around Bruce is basically the same thing as handing the bastard a signed confession. 

It sucks, admittedly? Like, Jason's not gonna pretend it doesn't suck. He didn't ever think he'd get a coffee shop meet-cute with his soulmate, assuming he had enough of a soul left to actually have one, but he'd at least expected to get somebody who wasn't already dating the brother he's treated worst and who did not, ideally, hate his guts. 

Or who at least hated his guts in a sexy way that could result in a nice enemies-with-benefits situation to spice up his sex life and maybe hopefully one day evolve into . . . he doesn't know, frenemies-with-benefits? Or something? 

Superboy is not gonna be up for cheating on his boyfriend with said boyfriend's adoptive brother, Jason is very damn sure. For one thing, if he was, Jason wouldn't want to fuck him anyway, much less be his soulmate. Jason is a murderer and a bastard but he is also a ride or die, okay, and he doesn't give a shit what the universe says, there is no damn way that he'd accept a soulmate like that. 

Also, like, since the accidental blood-swap went down, now when they get close enough there's an empathy bond going and Jason can absolutely feel how fucking besotted Superboy is by every little thing Tim does and says and just is. 

And he can also feel how much the guy hates him. 

Jason has never had better control of his pit rage than since realizing that if Superboy ever felt it, it'd be absolutely undeniably obvious what it was and where it was coming from. 

It is fucking amazing what a desperate person can get a handle on. Like, really. 

Jason went to fucking therapy for this shit. It sucks and he hates it and he wants to burn down the whole stupid office every time, but he's still going every week because fuck forbid he lose control enough that somebody realize something is up. 

Jason's self-control is not helped by the fact that Superboy has his own anger issues, but it's not like they get all that close to each other all that often anyway. He very rarely has to worry about Superboy picking up on anything from him. Mostly he just has to worry about not being any worse to Tim than he already has been and making excuses to avoid any situation that Superboy might theoretically pop up in. He has absolutely no designs on fucking up Tim's relationship. Ever. 

He guesses he and Superboy could have a platonic bond, admittedly. Like, that's possible.

Except Superboy constantly insists on wearing a painted-on bodysuit and studded black leather and strappy belts and looking like a porn star parody of a superhero, along with regularly smirking like a cocky asshole who just so happens to be the second coming of sin, and Jason has a very difficult time not finding all of that just unspeakably hot, so that seems unlikely. 

So yeah, Jason's definitely not telling anyone that they're soulmates. Possibly ever. At least not as long as Superboy and Tim are still into each other and in undeniably perfect romantic love, anyway. 

It's not like Jason's waiting for them to break up or something, or for the probably likelier but much more upsetting option that is Tim fucking dying. He's a bastard, again, but he's not that kind of a bastard.

He really hopes this is just one of those bullshit bonds that don't actually become relevant until the involved bondmates are, like, octogenarians or whatever. Which is not something Jason would've ever expected to want from his soulmate, but Jason also did not ever expect his soulmate to turn out to be Tim's boyfriend, so yeah. Well, life's a bitch and also full of surprises. 

It's impossible to always avoid Superboy, all things considered, but Jason usually can, and thanks to Bat-training and his time with the League and just who he is as a person he's very good at keeping his emotions on lockdown when the dude's around without it actually looking like he's keeping his emotions on lockdown. Mostly he just ignores him and acts like he thinks he's irrelevant, and Superboy seems perfectly happy with that. 

But again, it's impossible to always avoid him, and they're on the same side and everything, more or less. Jason therefore can't technically bitch about the guy randomly landing in the middle of his rooftop stakeout wearing that cocky asshole smirk of his and also his painted-on bodysuit and studded black leather. 

Or he couldn't, except that it is very obviously not actually Superboy wearing all those things. For starters, Superboy never wears that smirk when he's looking at Jason.

For another thing, Jason knows his own damn soulmate when he sees him. Like, he is not actually that oblivious or stupid a person as to not recognize his own damn soulmate. 

"Hey, man," fake Superboy greets casually as his boots hit the roof. Jason runs the internal numbers on whether or not fake Superboy has real Kryptonian powers and decides better safe than sorry, then hits the panic button hidden in the collar of his jacket as he turns to fully face him, making the gesture look like an idle adjustment. 

"Robin need something?" he asks, cocking his head questioningly. Seems wisest to pretend like he's falling for this bullshit, whatever it is. Especially if Kryptonian powers are currently a concern. 

"Naw," the fake Superboy says, his smirk widening crookedly. "This one's an . . . off-the-books social call, as it were." 

"Oh, we make social calls, now?" Jason asks dryly, resisting the irrational urge to hit his panic button again. Not actually a helpful urge, that. The thing's already streaming live audio and video to Oracle and the Batcomputer to get everyone in the loop on what the problem is, that's all that matters. Extra hitting would just make it likelier that fake Superboy might notice something. 

"Maybe I just wanted to see you, Hood," fake Superboy says as his smirk turns into a wicked grin, and then steps towards Jason with very familiar and incredibly unsubtle body language that, again, has never once been directed towards him. 

Goddammit. 

Well, good thing Jason hit his panic button, because there is no damn way this is ending well. He's never actually used the thing before, it's a recent addition to his gear now that he and the Bats are actually mostly working together again, but he already appreciates said addition very, very much. 

Assuming that Bruce is packing kryptonite tonight, anyway. 

Fuck, he'd better be. 

. . . also assuming that whoever this fake Superboy is happens to be vulnerable to kryptonite. Or at least currently happens to be vulnerable to kryptonite. Jason's not sure if this is like a bodyswap situation or a more traditional possession or just a doppelganger or a shapeshifter, but who the hell even knows. Not mind control, he's pretty sure, unless it's the kind that really fucks with somebody's personality. Like, yes, that is Superboy's body language and Superboy's facial expressions and even Superboy's microexpressions, but it's just . . . not Superboy behind any of it. Like, very obviously not. 

. . . weirdly obviously, actually. Like, Jason's really feeling the uncanny valley right now. 

Ugh. 

Well, hopefully this person or thing or weird psychic projection thinks he's fucking stupid. 

"Did you now," Jason says, eyeing fake Superboy through his helmet. Schooling his expression doesn't really matter right now, except of course X-ray vision is a thing, so actually never mind, maybe it does. Again: goddammit. 

Definitely gonna need to keep a handle on his heart rate here.

"Eh, what can I say, Rob was being a basic bitch again and I got bored," fake Superboy says with a dismissive shrug, which is something Jason would pistol-whip the real Superboy for saying but at least provides him a pretty solid script to go off while he waits for reinforcements to show. 

He'd rather be making with the pistol-whipping, though. 

"'Bored', huh," he says instead because if this is somebody hitching a ride in or fully copying Superboy's body, there is no fucking way that he is coming out on top in a one-v-one with a Kryptonian hybrid. He might be able to get away, maybe, but then he'd be leaving a probably pissed-off fake Superboy with free rein on his territory and every reasonably innocent person in it. 

Yeah, that seems like a stupid idea. 

"What can I say, I like a bad boy," fake Superboy says, smirking at him again. Jason would be embarrassingly into that smirk, if not for the fact that it's not Superboy wearing it. Right now, he just wants to deck this fucker. "Don't you?" 

"I could maybe see the appeal," Jason says, though he doesn't usually. Honestly, he's more a romantic than anything else. He knows he won't ever get that, especially considering what he's done and who his soulmate is and how very, very disgustingly in love with his brother said soulmate is, but–not the point. Either way, Jason's not gonna be honest about his taste in partners with a damn fake version of his goddamn soulmate. 

"Yeah, I bet you could," fake Superboy says with a wider smirk as he steps in a little closer, all the way into Jason's personal space. All of Jason's internal alarms go off, his spine prickling in restless discomfort. 

He really, really hopes Bruce is packing kryptonite tonight. 

“We're taking bets now?” Jason snorts dubiously. Fake Superboy grins at him, and it's worse than the smirking because it's not just a suggestive come-on, it's one of the pleased looks the real Superboy would never give him. Something he saves for Tim or Steph or Dick or literally just anyone else. He's pretty sure he's seen him grin like that at Bruce, even. 

Though it admittedly does lack some of its usual effect when Jason can't feel any of the emotions behind it. 

“You can take anything you want, Hood,” fake Superboy purrs, skimming a hand up Jason's chest. If he were Superboy, this would be the part where Jason called him an asshole and asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing, except if he were Superboy he'd never actually be doing this. Superboy loves Tim. Adores him. And he's not a desperate for attention teenager anymore, much less this kind of a selfish fucking prick. 

So Jason is just stuck on this stupid fucking roof with a stupid fucking fake, and this fucking funhouse mirror is the closest he's ever getting to his own fucking soulmate. 

The wait on this damn panic button better be a short one. 

“‘Anything’, huh,” he says, folding his arms. The fake Superboy gives him another smirk and taps his fingers against the underside of Jason's jaw, just where his helmet fastens. 

The fastener clicks, and his helmet falls apart and falls right off him and into fake Superboy's hands. Jason should've left the bomb in it. 

Tactile telekinesis. Okay. So the fucker does have access to Superboy's powers, one way or another. 

Fuck. 

At least Jason wore his domino tonight. He doesn't know what this asshole actually knows, and he might be legally dead, but compromising any Bat-related identities is still not the place to start. 

“You're too damn hot to wear this clunky-ass thing all the time, you know,” fake Superboy says, turning over Jason's helmet in his hands and still smirking at him. Jason would really like to make with the pistol-whipping right now. “Real waste of a pretty face.” 

“We don't all have bulletproof skulls,” Jason says dryly, and fake Superboy laughs. 

“You'd be bulletproof if I got my hands on you,” fake Superboy points out casually, which is not actually an application of TTK Jason was aware of but does raise a lot of questions he is not going to internally explore. Ever.

“Who said you were getting your hands on me?” he says, and the fake Superboy laughs and taps his fingers against Jason’s helmet. 

“Dunno,” he says, tilting his head with a sly expression. “I wouldn’t mind it the other way around either, though.” 

Fuck his life, Jason thinks. 

“I’m on the clock here, you realize,” he says, and fake Superboy laughs again and then pulls a mock-pout. 

“C’mon, Hood. Told you, I’m bored,” he says, somehow actually managing to find the space to step in closer without quite touching him. His grin is a sharp, glittering thing. “Play hooky with me.” 

This panic button cannot possibly work fast enough, Jason thinks. 

“Fuck it, whatever,” he says, because fake Superboy is clearly not taking no for an answer here and he just needs to buy a little time for someone to get here. Hell, even if fake Superboy were taking no for an answer, he’d probably still want to keep the asshole around as opposed to letting him slip off and put on who knows who else’s face. Better to get him while they’ve got him clocked, one way or the other. “It’s been dead all night anyway. What do you want?” 

Fake Superboy’s grin widens. If he was the real one, Jason would want to bite him over that expression. Unfortunately, he’s not the real one. Again: fuck his fucking life. 

“For starters, bet I could liven things up for you,” fake Superboy purrs, and then he props Jason’s helmet on his cocked hip and braces his free hand on the bricks behind him, leaning in close with an absolutely smug “coy” expression. Jason considers biting him in the not fun way. 

Eh, no, he’d probably just break his fucking teeth. 

It’s a fucking temptation, though. 

“Yeah?” Jason drawls dubiously. “Big talk for a Super.” 

Fake Superboy snickers. 

“Yeah, they tell me I’ve got a big mouth,” he says with an obvious leer. “Wanna see?” 

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” Jason asks, curling his lip in irritation, and fake Superboy laughs. 

And then actually kisses him, the fucking shit. 

Jason barely manages not to punch him for it. Again, he’d just break his knuckles. 

The fake Superboy sticks his tongue in Jason's mouth and Jason gets absolutely no sense of a soulmate bond, so whatever's going on, Superboy is definitely not in the driver's seat right now, or just not home at all or what the fuck ever. So yeah, that's a no on mind control and probably also possession, and definitely not the effects of red or black K. Not that the total lack of empathy bond response all this time hadn't already proven that pretty damn thoroughly, considering. 

Also, the real Superboy's always had a rep as a flirt and if nothing else definitely spends way too much time in Tim's back pocket to not be a better kisser than this by now. Seriously, Jason refuses to believe that he is not, if only for Tim's sake. This prick kisses like he barely understands the concept.

Fucking figures, Jason thinks, and crushes their mouths together. 

Fake Superboy kisses like a fucking middle schooler, and Jason is absolutely exasperated about having to put up with it. Like–it’d be one thing if it was actually Superboy kissing him like this, and if Superboy wasn’t dating his fucking brother. Then he’d probably think it was funny. Or even kind of cute, honestly, especially with how the guy preens and postures and plays it up. 

And then he’d get to teach him how to kiss better, too, and fucking relish the process. 

This, unfortunately, is not that situation. This is just some asshole wearing the face of the hottest bastard Jason knows and not doing it justice with his sub-par kissing skills.

. . . actually–“her” sub-par kissing skills, maybe? Jason actually has no fucking clue if this is a man or a woman, does he. For all he knows this is an actual middle schooler, which holy fucking Christ, is an absolutely disgusting thought. If this is some kid with shapeshifting powers who somebody coached into this, Jason is going to crack out the good ol’ bloody duffel bag and start collecting heads again. 

He’s pretty sure they’re not, at least, because they might suck at kissing but they don’t move like their body is too big or anything like that. Then again, they don’t move like their body doesn’t fit either, so their powers might be accounting for that. Or–whatever they’ve currently got going. Maybe it’s a fucking spell or maybe it is possession and the muscle memory is keeping Superboy’s body moving at least semi-normally. Again: this asshole has this act down to the microexpressions. 

It’s just so, so screamingly obviously fake all the same, though. 

Jason breaks off the kiss to bare his teeth at said fake, who grins at him all crooked and sultry-warm. Jason, again, debates the merits of breaking his knuckles on this asshole’s face. 

“You can’t kiss for shit,” Jason says bluntly, because only a fucking idiot wouldn’t notice that anyway, and fake Superboy laughs. 

“Aw, you don’t like it like Rob does?” he asks teasingly, his grin widening as he leans forward a little heavier on the arm he has against the bricks. Jason is absolutely fucking offended that fake Superboy is trying to convince him that any brother of his would ever settle for kissing that fucking mediocre, much less like it. As fucking if. “Why don’t you show me what you like, Hood? I’ll roll out the red carpet."

Jason should tase this piece of shit. Jason should <i>shoot</i> this piece of shit. Unfortunately, this still might be Superboy’s body even without him in it, and he didn’t pack kryptonite tonight either way. Assuming, again, that kryptonite would even work. 

He’s absolutely never skipping the kryptonite again, though. Not after this bullshit. He’s going full Lex Luthor and getting himself a pair of kryptonite brass knuckles, in fact. And not in blue: he’s going green. 

“You really think I wanna hear about Robin right now?” he says in the hopes the fucker will shut up a little, and fake Superboy just smirks and loops his arm around his neck, pressing fully up against him. Jason is wearing body armor, obviously, but that doesn’t make him feel particularly safe right now. The TTK alone would be an issue, even discounting Kryptonian strength. Fake Superboy could flatten him like a fucking panini with about as much effort as actually making a panini would take right now. 

So like, that’s a concern. 

“So still the jealous type, huh?” fake Superboy purrs, tilting his head a little. He’s much better at “come-hither” looks than he is at kissing, Jason can’t help noticing, which is fucking irritating. He’s also still got Jason’s helmet held against his hip. Jason is weirdly annoyed by that. “How about I just call you ‘Robin’ tonight, then?” 

Jason did so much therapy to not have this exact fucking fucked-up sexual fantasy. Just so much. 

He is definitely shooting this shithead before the night is over. 

“Try it and I’ll shoot you in the fucking dick,” he says flatly, because there’s playing along and there’s shit he just cannot truck with, and fake Superboy laughs.

“Kinky,” he says approvingly. Jason thinks longingly of kryptonite. 

He really, really hopes kryptonite works on this fucker. It’d have to, right? TTK isn’t exactly a standard-issue superpower; the fake’s got to at least have copied Superboy’s body, and that means copying his vulnerabilities. 

Hopefully. 

Of course, Jason doesn’t actually know jack shit about what’s actually going on here and narrowing it down isn’t working half as well as it could be, so . . . fuck if he actually knows if it’d work. 

He really doesn’t appreciate not being prepared in a crisis. Like–that is the literal antithesis of his entire fucking approach to life, is what it is. 

He’s going to need an extra therapy session this week, he’s pretty sure. Possibly several. Maybe he’ll just call his therapist first thing after they wrap this bullshit up, actually, assuming he survives it. That might be for the best. 

Or literally psychologically fucking necessary so he won’t snap and turn into a literal supervillain. One or the other. 

“You’re seriously overestimating my patience, Superboy,” he says flatly. The fake looks pleased, presumably because he still thinks Jason’s falling for this stupid act. 

“Don’t be such a pill,” fake Superboy says, smirking at him. The idea of pistol-whipping him sounds better and better. It’s almost definitely not gonna work, yeah, but that doesn’t mean Jason wouldn’t try it. “Why don’t you just be nice to me, and I’ll give you plenty of reasons not to be jealous tonight. Or at least don’t bore me as bad as Rob’s been, if nothing else."

Jason is going to burn down . . . mmmmmaybe all of Gotham tonight, actually. Like. Just all of it. Completely. Entirely.