#svthsa quotes

[stolenavalanche]

I remember losing my faith. It was little things that at the time didn’t seem to add up to much. But those little grew and festered in my mind. They tempted me to ask more questions, to do more research. 

My parents probably ask themselves every day where they went wrong. The answer is glaringly obvious, even if they don’t wish to admit it. They raised me to think for myself. All those years, they tried to shield my eyes from literature and media that was “ungodly.” They monitored my phone for years, trying to catch anything that might be too worldly. They were picky of who my friends were, scared I might be drug into hell due to the wrong people.

When you try to monitor a child as closely as they did, rebellion happens. How dare they try and tell me what to do and think and believe? It started off innocently enough. A random gay couple in a NCIS episode. One of my close friends coming out as a lesbian. Thomas Sanders being the gay icon that he is. Picking a library book prize titled Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda. An lgbt+ fanfic. 

My parents were right in trying to control what I read. Books and literature in general is a gateway. But I couldn’t be the horse obsessed, mystery reader forever. SvTHSA, Bloom, and many other books, made me feel seen. Made me feel heard. Forever, I had felt guilty for the way I would look at girls and guys and everyone in-between.

“But who prays for Satan?” A Mark Twain quote that hit home everyday for years. I remember asking my father, “If the devil was to apologize to God and change and really mean it, would God forgive him?” My dad couldn’t answer that. Strike one.

I would lay in bed at night and sob, begging God to answer me. Those answers never came. It frustrated me to no end. So when I reached out to the universe, asking for signs from other pantheons and they answered within the week, it hurt. Strike two.

The breaking point was my gender. I realized I was trans. I hid it from my parents as long as I could, but they figured it out. It was one of the hardest conversations of my life. I got kicked out. I was told God doesn’t make mistakes. So why did I feel like one? Strike three.

I hated him. I still do. I try hard to not let that hate bleed into my interactions with his followers, but sometimes it’s hard. That bastard has allowed so much hate and filth into the world. Why should his followers, who primarily spread it, be cut any slack? 

“Not all Christians are like that.” Bullshit. Even the ones I think I can trust are hiding a knife in their sleeves. A sly comment from a coworker about supporting anti-trans laws. Blatant disrespect for pronouns disguised as “I’m trying, it’s hard.” It disgusts me and it’s so hard to understand. How can people be so awful? I recognize that I was raised to hate just like these people do. But somehow, I don’t feel hate towards the groups they tell me to. If I can change, why don’t they?

It’s because they choose not to. They enjoy hating others, they enjoy making people’s lives difficult. They are cruel and unkind and not what Jesus, the man they admire so much, told them to be. I make a better Christian than the majority of Christians out there. I wish I could cut all contact with them. The world would be so much better without their hate. But I can’t. 

Call it a hero complex, but I have siblings who still could be good. It’s my responsibility to help them see that the outside world isn’t full of evil. It’s my responsibility to try and guide them out of the hate they were raised in.  Maybe I can keep them safe, somehow. I care about them so much and only want to see them thrive. 

I don’t know how to end this. I never do. But I do know that this was a well needed vent. The world is cruel and unkind and that’s somewhat due to those trying to save it. I can’t change it, but I can hope. I can enjoy living whilst I have the chance. So I will. 

[sakshi-shraddha]

just my favorite sentences from Simon Spier's life so far

• You never really know what he’s thinking. But I have this theory that Bram’s probably really funny inside his own head. I don’t even know why I think that.

But seriously: whatever inside jokes he has with himself, I think I’d like to be in on them.

• And it was one of those days where I couldn’t wait until I was home on my laptop. I mean, I couldn’t even wait to check it on my phone in the parking lot.

Because I had written Blue from my secret account this morning. And it was sort of an important email. I just wanted to see if he had written back.

• “Well, I think my unconscious is trying to tell me something.” Nick can be pretty single-minded when he’s feeling intellectual. “Obviously, the theme of the dream is vision. What am I not seeing? What are my blind spots?”

“Your music collection,” I suggest.

Nick rocks backward in the video game chair and takes another swig of tea. “Did you know Freud interpreted his own dreams when he was developing his theory? And he believed that all dreams are a form of unconscious wish fulfillment?”

• You can’t imagine how much I hated middle school. Remember the way people would look at you blankly and say, “Um, okaaay,” after you finished talking? Everyone just had to make it so clear that, whatever you were thinking or feeling, you were totally alone. The worst part, of course, was that I did the same thing to other people. It makes me a little nauseated just remembering that.

So, basically, what I’m trying to say is that you should really give yourself a break. We were all awful then.

• That’s where I found Blue’s post. It just kind of spoke to me. And I don’t even think it was just the gay thing. I don’t know. It was seriously like five lines, but it was grammatically correct and strangely poetic, and just completely different from anything I’d ever read before.

I guess it was about loneliness. And it’s funny, because I don’t really think of myself as lonely. But there was something so familiar about the way Blue described the feeling. It was like he had pulled the ideas from my head. Like the way you can memorize someone’s gestures but never know their thoughts. And the feeling that people are like houses with vast rooms and tiny windows.

The way you can feel so exposed anyway.

The way he feels so hidden and so exposed about the fact that he’s gay.

I felt strangely panicked and self-conscious when I read that part, but there was also this quiet thrum of excitement.

He talked about the ocean between people. And how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to.

I mean, I just had to know him.

• “It’s a dementor robe over my clothes. I think you’ll survive.”

“What’s a dementor?”

I mean, I can’t even. “Nora, you are no longer my sister.”

“So it’s some Harry Potter thing,” she says.

• Leah’s also into slash fanfiction, which got me curious enough to poke around the internet and find some last summer. I couldn’t believe how much there was to choose from: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy hooking up in thousands of ways in every broom closet at Hogwarts. I found the ones with decent grammar and stayed up reading all night.

• I take a sip of my beer, and it’s—I mean, it’s just astonishingly disgusting. I don’t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell.

People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I’d rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.

Anyway, it really makes you worry about all the hype surrounding sex.

• “Thanks, but I’m driving,” says Leah. But she wouldn’t be drinking even if she wasn’t driving. I know that. Because there’s this invisible line, and on one side are people like Garrett and Abby and Nick and every musician ever. People who go to parties and drink and don’t get wasted off of one beer. People who have had sex and don’t think it’s a huge deal.

On the other side of the line are people like Leah and me.

But the one thing that makes it weirdly better is knowing that Blue is one of us. I’m reading a little between the lines here, but I actually don’t think Blue has ever kissed anyone. It’s funny—I don’t even know if it counts that I have.

I’ve never kissed a guy. That’s something I think about all the time.

• Leah loves gay guys, so she’d probably be freaking thrilled.

• I’m tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these tiny ways. I get a girlfriend. I have a beer. And every freaking time, I have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again.

• “It’s the freaking Tumblr, okay. Half that shit is made up.” 

Laura’s voice is broken and sniffly. “But there’s … a little … bit of … truth … to … every—” 

• It shouldn’t bother me when Nick and Leah hang out without me. It just feels like I’m on the outside somehow.

Not all the time. Just sometimes.

But yeah. I feel irrelevant. I hate that.

• I’M IN history class, and apparently Ms. Dillinger just asked me a question, because everyone is looking at me like I owe them something. So now I’m blushing and trying to bullshit my way through it, and judging by her twisty, teacherly frown, I don’t think it’s going very well.

I mean, when you think about it, it’s a little fucked up that teachers think they get to dictate what you think about. It’s not enough if you just sit there quietly and let them teach. It’s like they think they have a right to control your mind.

I don’t want to think about the War of 1812. I don’t want to know what the hell was so impressive to a bunch of freaking sailors.

What I want is to sit here and think about Blue. 

• Jacques,

Just so you know, your being cute isn’t the reason you’re easy to talk to, because it really should be the opposite. In real life, I go totally silent around cute guys. I just freeze up. I can’t help it. But I know the real reason you were asking was because you wanted to hear me call you cute again, so I will. You’re cute, Jacques. And I guess you do have a thing about sentence fragments, but I sort of love it.

• Parents need to stop being so freaking awkward.

[theolikesbooks]

"I make my bed every single day, even though the rest of my room is a hellscape of paper and laundery and books and clutter. Sometimes I feel like my bed is my lifeboat."

- Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

[aro-ace-trash]

Leah, to Abby: You're on my list, pal.

*later that day* Leah: Has anyone seen my list? It's a piece of paper that says "Things I love the most".

[saharzahids]

lgbtq meme -> relationships [2/10]

simon spier and bram greenfeld - "i like this, we should do this. every day. okay. let's never do anything else. no school. no meals. no homework. i was going to ask you to see a movie. no movies. i hate movies. oh, really? really, really. why would i want to watch other people kissing, when i could be kissing you?"

[colourofmagic]

Say It louder for the people in the back 🙏🏼

The gang from Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda really be that cute

See it on my instagram

[random-character-quotes]

Bram: TFW you mess up and type "lamo" and it autocorrects to lamp.

Simon: Maybe you're a lamp.

Bram: Then you must be a moth.

[simonsqier]

Same energy

[spierfeld-is-life]

[maringerund]

Some Love, Simon fanart.

I just love that quote.

For @maraudersvs ❤️

[lovesimon-uk]

Why is straight the default?

Love, Simon is out now in cinemas across the UK! CLICK HERE to get your tickets.

[incorrectbursusoquotes]

simon: it’s just a moo point.

abby: a moo point?

simon: yeah. it’s like a cow’s opinion. it doesn’t matter. it’s moo.

abby, to leah: have i been hanging out with him too much or did that all just make sense?

[aro-ace-trash]

M*rtin: Hello every-

Leah: Hi, hello, what do you want?

M*rtin: Wow, I just loved how you ruined my dramatic introduction

Leah: Well, your face ruined my day, so we’ll call it even.

[spearfeld]

Simon: I’m a hot mess.

Bram: Emphasis on hot.

Leah: Bigger emphasis on mess.

[simon-vs-daily]

"P.S. I love the way you smile like you don’t realize you’re doing it.

I love your perpetual bed head.

I love the way you hold eye contact a moment longer than you need to.

And I love your moon-gray eyes.

So if you think I’m not attracted to you, Simon, you’re crazy."

- Blue (Crazily in love with Simon Spier)

[booksmoviestv]

Simon: Being gay just has its perks

Also Simon pushing Martin: Move I’m gay