#survival street irma

[astronomergrump]

I worked so hard on this chat... Plz... /srs

VV (Ref image) VV

[inkandpaintsnowleopard]

I’ve only listened to Gangsta’s Paradise over and over today and it reminds me of Survival Street. Particularly Milo and Herbert

Nice

Wait did I ever post my original Survival Street drawings

[bern00sworld]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

We wish ya'll and hope that you've got what chu want it for Christmas and have a jolly holidays here wish ya the SUNDAE FIEND Gurgle 😊😊😊🎄🎁🎄🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🍦🍨🍦🍨🍦🍨🍦🍨🍨🍦🍨

[inkandpaintsnowleopard]

Literally them

There’s like 12 different kinds of tension in this image.

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppet Madness: Survival Street Review: Brought to You by the Letter's F and C for Fuck Captalisim (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Today's review is courtsey of viewers like you.. specifically you. Kevin. Thank you

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Monthly Muppets Madness, my look at all things muppety. And after last month's adventure with mean green mother's from outer space, we're back to more felty corners of the muppet globe with Surivial Street, a 4 issue mini series from 2022 by the writing team of James Asmus and Jim Fesante with art by Abbylay Kussainov.

Asmus is a longtime comic book writer whose work I have read before with his decent runs on Gambit, Quantum and Woody and All New Inhumans. He also co-wrote the second arc of Robert Kirkman's Thief of Theives. So while not someone I seek out, he's a solid writer.

As you can guess by the title and that awesome cover, Survival Street is a parody of Seasame Street, though heavily on the affectionte side: it's very clear from the writing Asmus really loves the show and it's goals of free education for children who might not have acess to it and teaching love and kindness are core to this book.

That said Survival Street is also over the top as hell. It's messages are as subtle as a brick to the head saying "Corproations Bad' and a lot of the book can come off as

Okay some are.. but most of them probably aren't going to listen to their bullshit being called out in the first place, let alone by muppets. The question is can this book ballance it's over the top satire with it's heart, fairly well thought out characters and comedy? Find out under the cut won't you?

We open with America: A Timeline. In 2025 in this timeline, Jury's out on ours, the Supreme Court voted to make Corporations able to run for public office. Naturally this backfired and soon corprations pulled their money out from other candidates and ran themselves, and by 2028 they've taken over the country, privitazed everything and in our proper oppening scene, invade Salutation Street, our Seasame Street expy and shut it down. It's also clear there's rampant anti-muppet xenophobia in this universe, something that will only grow worse as we cut to present day: 2031, in New Best America TM.

It's in this new corprate hellscape we meet our heroes who are traveling around america in an RV. Driving it is an expy of Gordon, Mr. Burton whose dealing with a checkpoint. As it turns out though roads are now privitazed and upon seeing a family hassled over this, our grover stand-in, Herbert decides to take a more hands on approach

This does save the people there.. but is quickly used as propoganda by the local fox news stand in. Because of a course a corporate hellscape still has fox news, every hellscape needs one or it's just not a hellscape. Their anchor is Irma, our ernie stand in, who spouts out the usual racist drivel but about muppets this time. I do like the touch of having the two headed monster be their right and left wing commentators.

We then ove to the a-plot: Junior, the president is auctoning off detained children of illegal immigrants to the highest bidder in florida, with our heroes sneaking in to stop this via the global warming flooded ocean outside.

I mean a bunch of rich assholes auctoning off children is both plausable and has likely actually happened, but it dosen't make that funny or entertaining. Junior himself is, from saying his assitant asking about his medication he stole from his daughter is a HIPPA violation to how over the top he is and it keeps things from being too GET IT GET IT CAPTALISIM BAD GET IT. It's enoguh to take me out but not enoguh to make me leave.

So our ABC team break in and we properly meet them all as they make their way through. And since the comic has really fun intro captions for each of them...

Their leader, Bert stand in and the one holding the brain cell

Kind to a fault and mostly a "master of disguise" because he's the only human they have.

Like Burton we've seen him before. Explosives expert with a short fuse. ANd god I love that gag: it's so damn dark and it should not work but it does.

Our Cookie Monster with traces of Zoey given the pigtails. I also thought Elmo but we'll meet our equilvent for him in isue 3. Kind, good at inflitration but struggling with staying clean.

Our big bird, a good strong boy whose basically big bird if he was a grown man and could also suplex you.

Their tech guy and oscar the grouch.

Our heroes begin their plan once they get it: THey found about this thanks to a fellow muppet calling for help, so now their inside they can excute the plan: Gurgle and their inside man will use card scanners that burton stole and rigged to steal all the money from the auction, explaning how they keep funded when public funding no longer exists. Hippy resuces the prisoners using his massive strength to free the kids and his kindness to help calmly guide them out, and Herbert.. nearly snaps and kills everyone and everything in his path after finding out these bastards are using the children for their organs. Thankfully Birdie is able to calm him down in one of my faviorite jokes of the mini

It's what makes this work: while the satire is about as subtle as a chainsaw through your front door wielded by a screaming goat man, the muppets in the thick of it.. still ACT like muppets on seasame street. They still have the same kindness and sensiblities.. it's just tempered into bloody action by being the only source of hope and freedom in a dystopian hellscape.

Birdie and Tony set up signal jammers so they can hyjack the procedings.. only to find out that Irma is here, gladly promoting this shit show like any republican. Birdie is naturally just the slightest bit livid her ex is promoting child organ farming but she soon has bigger issues.... desert is being served early.. and ice cream is present.

And with that Gurgle is exactly no days sober of ice cream and shit officallly hit the fan. On the bright side Shit is our word of the day. So at least there's that. Anyways our heroes are soon outgunned and out manned, with Birdie barely saving gurgle by tearing herself open and using her string to sew her up, but the two are soon cornered and Birdie does the whole save yourself i'll hold them back routine. Thankfully , Herbet dosen't listen well and when , as seen in the panels above, told not to go out loud.. he didn't listen. He rigged the place with explosives, blows up the wall holding out the water real good and floods the bitch. Our heroes valantly escape, but not before Hippy beats the every loving shit out of Junior, showing he may be nice but he has limits.

Birdie however makes a late exit as she and Irma have some words, with Birdie hyjacking her limo. So Birdie, needing some answers... asks irma a very important question

I love this page.. mostly for making Irma a more complex villian. She could easily jsut be "birdies very obvious ex who sold out"... but you see she's just someone who got broken by the fact that nothing they did mattered. She's still not a good person: she still sold out muppetkind for her own profit and is still bad.. but it's more intresting to hav ea reason why she ended up the sack of shit she is instead of just, as Birdie wondered, always having been like this.

Birdie isn't swayed and goes on with the rest of our heroes.

Issue 2. I love the structure of this series as the first three issues are all made so they can be read done in one for the most part. Ther'es a cliffhanger at the end of issue 3 but it's nice when a comic makes good use of the isdsue by issue format. Issue 4 ties it all together well, but it's still essentailly three connected stories that lead up to one big finish.

Anyways issue 2 begins with our heroes hiding in a church under a hail of gunfire: Burton and the RV are halfway across town, and it dosen't look good. We flash back to how they got there and find out WHERE they are: Hollow Point, a company town ran by the WRA, the NRA's legally distinct cousin. Yup this is a gun rights issue, with the town having become a conceal and carry paradise where people can just.. have gun duels to decide whatever and Charlton heston is naturally given an honrary statue.. and Clint Eastwood an expy in Cain Westwood.

The head of the WRA is present and naturally gives a gun to a baby.. and the satire works a BIT better this issue as frankly.. none of it's exagerated. The NRA GENUINELY want this, they genuinely talk about crying "lib tears". Clint Eastwood is an advocate for them. Their extremists probably would argue the right ot carry begins at conception. I"m not saying ALL gun owners or even nra members are this fucked, I have a friend who owns guns and keeps them in a safe, locked up where no child can get to it. But the NRA as an orginzation sure as hell is.

Our heroes try using this dueling strategy to call the WRA chairman's bluff.. but he turns it on them: since their basically challenging the law itself witht heir duel they've challenged the orginzation.. which means it's 5 muppets against a whole damn town armed to the teeth.

We then get a flashback to Herbert's childhood on M'Na N'Nam, part of the snufflpogaos islands. A muppet paradise.. until a shady buisness man shows up offering a partnership for a chemical they can find on the island.

I'm going to go ahead and cover all of this now for simplicties sake as the flashback's only two parts: Years later their leader.. has shown her true colors, fully selling out to ethe corpration and the mine as it's poinsing her people and end sup casuing an explosin.. and rather than help , the company pulls out, leaving the villiage to die in fire and Herbert forced to immigrate, barely scraping by thanks to racisim until he got the job on Salutation Street.. only to find out later his parents died on the island. It's a well done story too as horrible things like this happened all the time and without the hyper exagerated satire... it's something entirely real and entirley painful: a culture exploited and destroyed by greedy white assholery.

Back in the present the fight continues, as our heroes are held down. Thankfully Hippy and Gurgle make a distraction and do one of my faviorite manuvers: having the smaller characteer on the bigger characters shoulder. Mostly for this one scene from x-factor

Sadly Flint Westwood decides to join the party.. as does anamatronic charlton heston, so our heroes are soon on the backfoot... but not before Tony is able to complete his plan, hyjacking their cars and easily taking down the mob since, naturally their cars are also mad max murder mobiles. As for the head of the HRA himself.. well given he's sorta the lead this issue.. Herbet takes care of him personally.

He then challenges the man to a duel, though Birdie IS able to talk him down from shooting the man on live tv... but not from killing him as he shoots out the camera and impliclity finished the job offscreen.

But that leaves a vacum.. and Westwood is promoted to the job.. and given the job to hunt down our heroes. More on that later

So issue 3 introduces us to Milo, our Elmo expy. He's rich and like irma is working in the corprate hellscape. Unlike her though he's still in kids television , still talks to the others even if things are understandibly tense with most of them, and while reluctant to their request has a good reason for both taking the seemingly easier route and being reluctnat to help.

It's a scene I love a lot. Milo comes off at first like a smug asshole.. but then it's clear beneath that is someone who GENUINELY values what he's doing. It's a reminder of how important children's intertainment is... and how important it is that when you have the power to do something good and necessary, you do it, regardless of the risk.

Our heroes go to rescue the kids, who are fire fire fighters and make a good entrance enough, coming in in a garbage made recycled buggy, saving them.. but soon our party is left trecking through the wild fire. THey got in thanks to milo's friends, but it was one way. So while Gurgle finds an ice cream truck, the kids tell their tale: turns out in this dystopian hellhole future they outlawed abortion.... keep in mind this comic launched just two months after Roe V Wade was overturned, so the timing is eerie as hell. The kid they talk two's mother didn't want her born into this hellscape, got arrested for it and she got sold to corproations using her as a proxy for their crimes. The fact any of this sounds like it could become actual law at some point should spoeak to how horrifying it is. While this book isn't subtle, and it's a weakness.. it's strength is that Asmus goes just a TOUCH beyond what we have now after the first issue. The first issue is plausable, but a bit over the top. With the nra having a whole lawless western town or children being sold into slavery to work off corprate crimes... it's a lot more plausable given how fucked our legal system is and it makes it that much easier to buy.

Our heroes naturally wepp at this waking nightmare, so it's a good thing they get distracted.. the bad thing is that it's by Gurgle, trying to save her from more fire. Birdie gets horribly injured in the process and needs help NOW.

Things.. look bad as they hit a corprate checkpoint, by the same monsters that turned off the water the fire kids were using, and there's no hope of escape or out shooting them. This causes the team to break down playing the blame game.. which is bad enough.. until HIPPY of all people breaks.

This.. destroyed me. Up to this point Hippy had been the unbreakable optimis they needed.. but now .. we see that beneath his sunshine is a lot of regret, a lot of doing this because he had nothing else and feeling what thier doing.. simply isn't enough. But Mr. Burton's message is right.. and it's the messasge the book goes for: things are bad, they will probably get worse.. but we can't just give up and do nothing. As a wise vampire once said "If nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do". And to prove that point.. an old friend drops in to help

So the asholes are left to die, Milo implicitly adopts the kids having them play in his pool and Birdie wants to see them all.. only Gurgle's missing, having left in Milo's tesla. Because of course he has a tesla. Gurgle's gone.. and she's gone to the enemy

I was nervous going into this one when I first read it. The fact is this book while optimistic is still fairly dark so while I felt our heroes MIGHT win, they could just as easily loose or barely get away.

They could... but instead we get something way better.

Though to start things aren't looking great: Rufus, head of F News, is talking to a bunch of other corprate overlords including Elon Musk, suprising no one. THeir not happy that his propoganda machine isn't keeping the puppets from having an impact: Junior is facing public backlash for his child selling, the babies carrying firearms bill has been blocked.. this needs to stop. So the network cranks up i'ts proogranda, with anti-muppet racisim rising and a a puppet child attacked by some other kids. When one human girl tries to help him she gets maced.. thankfully

Things still aren't great: Birdie's recovering and Faux News trots out Gurgle.. and somehow makes a valid point, making them somehow have a point abovfe the actual fox news: apparently Gurgle used to be called "Sundae Fiend". While she says "it was a diffrent time" being remidned of it clearly bothers her.. while Rufus wants more answers: where. are. your friends.

And it seems he got them as we see a heavily armed WRA troops, with junior and westwood along for the ride and livestreaming the whole debalce. Turns out the Muppets main hq is a Salutation Station theme park. Not disneyland as Senator Disney does not want to be associated iwth muppet terrorists... again. That was their joke by the way, great stuff. Also means we might meet kermit and friends counterparts if this ever gets a sequel.

What follows.. is one of the most awesome cilmaxes to an arc i've seen in a comic. Turns out... our heroes were ready for them: they aren't the ones trapped... the WRA are. Not only that for once it's entirely legal: since Salutation Street is it' sown corpration, the park is soverign terriotiry and they entered illegally. So after all their racist, anti-immigraint retoric.. their the ones who are the actual invaders.. and are soon wiped out with rides, from a cyclotron type thing spinning some to oblivion.

To the recyling troll melting a bunch of mooks with acid and recyling Charlton Hestron into scrao abd cumilating in a one on one brawl between Bernie and Westwood which ends with Bernie killing the motherfucker via rollercoaster

The moment after it is easily my faviorite of the whole book though, with Bernie confronting the mooks left

It's a reminder that while Bernie is the quickest to kill among them, easily.. he's still a kind, good person. Just one who will cap your ass when necessary.

Faux News TRIES to use Gugle to get the narrtive under contorl.. but as you likely guessed by now, she too was part of the plan

I fucking love this issue for the setup: you EXPECT it to be our heroes darkest hour and them to barely make it out or Gurgle to at least still be a traitor.. instead? It was a plan the whole time: Gurgle finally kicked her addiction after last issue, our heroes easily take out their enemies with the home field advantage and to cap it off, we get one hell of a chekovs gun: earlier we saw mascot suits... so Birdie sends junior out, his mouth taped up in one with the recording to talk. THey shoot him down thinking hie's hippie.. and thus the presiden't sson whose also the president I guess is dead, everyone involved int he raid is entirley to blame and our heroes just got free publiclity showing THIER not the bad guys here. We wrap up as Irma flees to her dressing room... only to find a letter from birdie

And that's survivial street. It's heavy handed.. but damn if it isn't good. The jokes present land, the action is beautifully drawn and the characters are compelling. It takes what COULD'VE been a lazy joke premise, and fills it with heart and character, deconstructing PARTS of seasame street.. while at the same time remaining true to it's spirit. It's out in trade from darkhorse if your intrested, I HIGHLY recommend picking it up. And hopefully we'll see more of it again some day. But for now, we got something specil here and i"m glad I got to share it with you all.

[lboogie1906]

Ronnie Wilson (April 7, 1948 - November 2, 2021) was the oldest of the three brothers who formed the Gap Band in Tulsa in 1967. A singer and multi-instrumentalist who played keyboards, trumpet, and flugelhorn, he was integral to the ensemble, which enjoyed a string of indelible funk-soul hits in the late 1970s and early 80s.

Among the best-loved of these were Oops Up Side Your Head, Burn Rubber On Me (Why You Wanna Hurt Me), Early in the Morning, You Dropped a Bomb on Me, Outstanding, and Party Train. Their songs were distinguished by their frequent use of powerful synthesizer basslines.

He was a co-writer on songs including Party Lights, Yearning for Your Love, and Oops Up Side Your Head. The last of these reached #6 in the UK and #4 on the US R&B charts in 1979, and earned him and his brothers co-writing credits on Uptown Funk, owing to the resemblance between the two tracks.

By 1982 the Gap Band was one of the biggest-selling R&B acts in the US, with the albums Gap Band III (1980) and Gap Band IV (1982) both achieving platinum status. Their commercial profile dwindled as the 80s wore on, though, and All of My Love (1989), partly written by Ronnie, was the band’s last #1 on the US R&B chart.

He was born to Rev Oscar Wilson, a Pentecostal minister, and his wife, Irma. Oscar preached at the Church of God and Christ in Tulsa, and the three boys – he, Charlie, and Robert – sang there regularly as their father’s warm-up act. Their parents would only permit religious music to be played in the family home, the brothers would smuggle in records by James Brown or Stevie Wonder and listen. He and Charlie each started their band but then merged the two and brought in Robert on bass. They called themselves the Greenwood, Archer, and Pine Street Band, deriving the name from streets in the Greenwood district. The band dissolved after Robert died of a heart attack in 2010. He is survived by his wife, Linda, and Charlie. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence

[kingdompressnews]

Finding a silver lining in the darkest storm

Dustin Sanchez worked as a bartender at one of the hottest beach resorts in Fort Myers beach, Florida (one of the hardest hit areas), and was planning his wedding in November.

His future was as beautiful as his wife, and life was just about to begin when Hurricane Ian visited. The community has been battered by hurricanes and survived, and this was just another one, or so they thought.

Natural disasters are the norm in the United States coastal regions; but survivor stories and their HOPE are human characteristics we will never fully comprehend even amid 155-mile-per-hour catastrophic winds, heavy rains, and storms.

My perfect life was ruined, and everything I thought I had and needed in life was taken away by Hurricane Ian. I had the ideal job as a bartender at the Lani Kai hotel and beach resort for the past six years. I also lived there and awoke to the serene sound of the ocean and its atmosphere.

So when Hurricane Ian was announced, I did not think it was anything beyond the ordinary, having survived Hurricane Irma. I thought, “This is just another one, and we will all get through it.”

Was I ever so wrong as the storm arrived with a soul-wrenching stare that shook our reality? In a matter of minutes, the water rose from one foot, then two, then all the cars in the neighborhood were underwater, and the fears of families were louder than the storm, wind, and rain surging through the streets. While I pondered the extent of the damage, a palm tree fell and destroyed my new Chevy equinox, while I stood flabbergasted, my mom’s house and proposed wedding gift, crumbled like a pack of cards and was swept away by Ian. It began like every other day.

Life on the Florida beach is incredible: the warm sun, white beaches, turquoise water gently hitting the beach, and lively people drinking, laughing, and sharing a joke. It seemed like just another day until it wasn’t. We hear the usual hurricane stories: a palm tree has fallen, a power line is down, and cars are swimming in the water, but life goes on. This was different. The emergency team advised beach residents to evacuate immediately, and that meant us (my fiancé and I). Even though it was not our first storm, we moved against our wishes. We had a huge family that included nine pets—a snake, three mice, three dogs, and two cats—and we could not just leave without thinking about them. We had to find floaters, in case we had to swim. The thought of losing any of them was devastating.

And it was over. Ian took away my home, my car, and my life. My girlfriend stood by me, trying to encourage me about so many things. The smallest stuff irritated me. I could not think straight suddenly being homeless, car-less and a future blank as a canvas.

Things got worse. Lani Kai, where I worked, had to close due to the damage, as did other businesses such as Hooters, which was completely destroyed. FEMA and the institutions that were supposed to help could not. My application was denied, and all access to resources that could help was taken away.

I pay my taxes but am denied the most basic of rights. No one cared for me, and it was not right.

I could not think! It was too heavy to ignore; citizens’ rights before, during, and after a hurricane or disaster should be protected.

Light after the storm We were jobless and homeless and our brother offered to take us in (humans and pets) and help us care for them. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Everyone was broken, but people were still generous and willing to help with what they had.

And as I wait for Lani Kai to finish rebuilding and reapplying for my job, my girlfriend is also hopeful that her job will likely be reopened so she can resume work. Currently, we are surviving on my pool cleaning jobs, the love and generosity of my brother, and many other people in the community.

Things are coming together again—it will not be the last, but we will always survive.

Contact Us :

Address - Florida

Phone - (239) 280-5554

Email - subscribe@kingdompressnews.com

Website - The Kingdom Press

Blog - Finding a silver lining in the darkest storm

[workingclasshistory]

On this day, 14 August 1944, 29-year-old Italian resistance partisan Irma Bandiera, aka 'Mimma', was murdered by the Nazis. They had blinded her and tortured her for seven days, however she refused to give up the names of her comrades. Her body was then dumped in the street outside her parents' house. Today there is a street named after her in her native Bologna. We have interviewed surviving members of the partisan resistance for our podcast, for a forthcoming miniseries. If you would like to assist with our work like this, and get first listen of this, and all of our podcast episodes, please consider supporting us on patreon: https://patreon.com/workingclasshistory https://www.facebook.com/workingclasshistory/photos/a.296224173896073/2057316137786859/?type=3

[dailyunsolvedmysteries]

Killer: Levi Bellfield

Levi Bellfield is one of Britain’s most notorious serial killers, with the detective who caught him, DCI Colin Sutton, describing him as “cunning and violent”. He was raised on a council estate with his brother and sister and became known to the police at the age of just 13.Throughout his teenage years, he engaged in petty crimes such as burglary and car theft, and in 1990, he was charged with assaulting a police officer.

By the time of his first murder in 2002, Bellfield had spent nearly a year in prison and was known for being controlling, manipulative and abusive towards his partners.  Bellfield is thought to father 11 children to several women and spent time working as a doorman and running a wheel clamping business.

Milly Dowler was a 13 year old schoolgirl who was reported missing by her parents when she failed to return home after leaving Walton-on-Thames railway station in Surrey on 21 March 2002. Her body was found in Yateley Heath Woods, Hampshire, six months later. She had phoned her father just minutes before leaving the station, informing him she would be home in half an hour. The search for her killer was one of the biggest manhunts in British history.

A red Daewoo Nexia belonging to the girlfriend of Levi Bellfield was spotted on CCTV footage from a cafe on the same street as the station, and in 2009 the killer admitted he’d been driving that car. Bellfield, aged 33 at the time, was not charged with Milly’s murder until 2010. He was convicted in June 2011, while serving a life sentence for his other crimes.

Bellfield’s second victim was Marsha Louise McDonnell, a 19-year-old who was found alive near her home in Hampton in February 2003, having been struck over the head with a hammer. Marsha was found badly beaten and later died of her injuries, she had been attacked after getting off the 111 bus from Kingston upon Thames and died two days later in hospital.

French student Amelie Delagrange was a 22-year-old French student who was living in the UK when Bellfield murdered her in a park in Twickenham. Her body was found on August 19, 2004, after she had been struck over the head with a hammer, like Marsha McDonnell. Police linked her murder with that of McDonnell and, after drawing links to a white Ford van which had been seen near the murder location of Amelie. Bellfield later admitted to the murders while remanded in custody.

Bellfield was charged with attempted murder for mowing down 18-year-old student Kate Sheedy in Isleworth on 28 May 2004. She survived, but suffered multiple injuries and spent several weeks in hospital. In 2008, she gave evidence to the trial of Bellfield in which she described the white people carrier with blacked out windows and a broken wing mirror which had struck her.

In 2006, Bellfield was arrested and charged with the murders of Amelie Delagrange and Marsha McDonnell and the attempted murders of Kate Sheedy and Irma Dragoshi.

Bellfield was sentenced to life in prison, with a recommendation that he should never be released.

[itsjustthechems]

Some of my Hancock-related headcanons

I've been sitting with a patient for 7 hours and have been slowly losing my mind during that time, so here, have some crazed and sleepy rambling.

• If you explore McDonough's house, in one of his rooms you can find two mannequins — one dressed like Hancock, one dressed like McDonough. The one in Hancock's clothes is laying on the floor, face down, with the one in McDonough's clothes towering over him. This could be attributed to just political beef — maybe McDonough was just pissed about his brother's clear disdain for his policies and lifestyle. However, I interpret this as a sign of deep-seated jealousy. I think Hancock may have surpassed his brother, maybe in several ways during their childhood. Maybe Hancock did well in school — I could see him having a natural knack for math and science, considering his surprisingly high intelligence stat and later interest in experimental drugs (I catch him at the chem station in Sanctuary constantly, fuckin' around with test tubes). I doubt he put forth much effort into school, which was probably even more infuriating for McDonough, who worked tirelessly for grades that still fell short of Hancock's. Maybe their father poorly hid his preference for Hancock ("My pa used to take me fishing here" — me, not us). I could see Hancock developing sharp survival skills, which pleased his parents, while McDonough preferred the comfort of the indoors, or the safer streets of Diamond City. Maybe the jealousy comes from Hancock's general looks and charm. We know from Irma's terminal entries that she liked to meddle in Hancock's memories, and she mentioned how handsome he was pre-ghoul. I could see Hancock unwittingly flirting or even sleeping with someone that McDonough had had his eye on. Whatever happened, one way or another, I think McDonough found some reason(s) to start fostering resentment for his brother at a young age.

• I'm going to go out on a limb here and say witnessing murder is a somewhat commonplace event for most wastelanders. Probably more than commonplace for a troublemaker like Hancock. Thus, I think there's a reason why witnessing Vic murder a drifter was so deeply traumatizing to him. So deeply traumatizing that he felt like he had to shed his own skin and identity afterwards. I think there's a good chance it wasn't just "some drifter" who was killed — I think it was someone Hancock cared deeply for. We know the drifter was male from Hancock's dialogue. So my personal headcanon is that he was the first man Hancock ever loved. I picture Hancock, exhausted and deeply saddened after making several trips between Diamond City and Goodneighbor with displaced ghouls in tow. Maybe this anonymous drifter offers him protection and company on a few of these trips. Hancock quickly comes to admire him — random, strung out drifters don't normally go out of their way to help one another, especially before he became mayor and established some semblance of community. Maybe this guy was Hancock's bi awakening — the two of them engaging in a passionate, drug-fueled haze of a relationship that came to a horrifyingly abrupt end when Vic "cracked him open like a can of cram on the pavement." I think Hancock distances himself from the pain by referring to him only as "a drifter" and leaving it at that so no one will press for further information. I also think that's when he really started leaning into his constant usage of drugs to suppress his trauma. Maybe he's afraid that if he's sober too long, it'll all come back to the surface.

• An unexplored tidbit of Fallout lore is the contents of Hancock's strongroom. It's mentioned by one of Bobbi's cronies that there are "so many boxes" in his strongroom, most of them full of paperwork. Mentioned somewhere in the game. I'm too tired to find the specific quote. But my headcanon is that he still has some memorabilia from his relationship with the aforementioned drifter. Notes to each other, letters full of immature and crude jokes, ideas for experimental drugs, and the only existing picture of pre-ghoul Hancock — a charcoal sketch of him, made by his drifter. I think he is immensely protective of these little artifacts.

• Fuck it, pre-ghoul Hancock had dimples.

I'll reblog and add more as I think of them, because I definitely have more. I'd like to do this for other characters, too.

[obsidiancreates]

For the sake of Post Limit I'm putting my Season 2 Finale Part 1 thoughts into this one post

Okay so Shredder flashbacks to Karai's childhoo- you care nothing for the human race? Bitch you are one. You suck.

"Mutate her back to normal"? Sir That's Not The Correct Verbiage.

Shredder do you really think this will end well for you, teaming with The Kraang?

Oh Irma is so pushy, sometimes friend groups just don't mix and you want them separate. Like I know what Irma's whole deal is because I seek out and consume Spoilers the way Mikey does pizza but still, Red Flag there April.

Awww Donnie has a cute lil' profile pic. Really hoping April did that and Donnie didn't have it set up that way when he gave it to her.

YAY CASEY AND RAPH TEAM TIMES

Oh that street art is cool though

Oooooh Raph being protective of Donnie? Raph saying in other episodes that Donnie Has No Chance but scolding Casey for wanting April when Casey knows how Donnie feels? It's all terribly unhealthy and all that but AWWWWWWW PROTECTIVE BROTHER RAPH

Oh they the street art predicted or prophesized April in Rise

Awwwwww Donnie not being able to eat when stressed, Relatable

HELL YEAH TURTLE MECH THEY ABOUT TO PULL SOME GRAVITY FALLS WEIRDMAGEDDON FIGHTING

Ooooooh Donnie and Leo tension. Love moments like these.

Oh the Foot Bots pulled some Ringwraiths In The Prancing Pony moves and April and Irma did what The Hobbits did

OH SHIT POLICE LOITERING?! FUCK THE POLICE- OH THESE ARE KRAANG OR ON SHREDDER'S PAYROLL

Splinter, strangers enter your lair like... every other week

Oh yeah okay Irma's a ro- OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT OH GOD EW

NOOOO NOT THE ARCADE CABINET!!! Is this the voice actor of Iago from the original DIsey's Aladdin?

CASEY DIDN'T DO SHIT RAPH THE POLICE ARE TARGETING HIM UNFAILY BECAUSE ACAB

Yeah knew it, Kraang police. Not any different from regular ones really. Ooooh I liked that rearview mirror shot.

THE PINBALL MACHINEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOO

YEAH YOU GET THEIR ASSES MIKEY MY SWEET BADASS BOY I'M SO PROUD OF YOU YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

Pfffft it's biting Donnie- just pull it off, Donnie, or hit it, don't just hop there with it still sinking it's teeth in!

Oh so Raph's just riding on top of a car now. ... Well I guess with an alien invasion, maybe a giant mutant turtle is one of the lesser concerns of the people.

SPLINTER NO NO DO NOT STAY BEHIND I KNOW YOU SURVIVE THIS BUT DO NOT DO IT

OH FUCK NOOOOOOO THE SHELLRAIZER NOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH POOR DONNIE

Awww Mikey, you sweet boy, thank you for assuaging April's guilt, she really was just trying to do a good thing.

HAHA YES DONNIE AND LEO RIVALRY, LEADER VS BRAINIAC holy shit MIKEY YOU POWERHOUSE

Oh wow okay so that gunshot really took Donnie out then. My poor boy.

LEADER MIKEY LEADER MIKEY

Donnie hon it's not your fault nor Leo's nor anyone's. You wanted to try and fight, he wanted to flee to fight another day, both of you thought it was what was the right course of action, and honestly in this situation there is no perfect answer, which has been established is something you struggle wit accepting.

LEO TOOK OUT HOW MANY KRAANG BOTS ALL ON HIS OWN?!?!?!?!?!

Oh Donnie no, no baby I know this seem like the time because it could be your very last chance, and you probably think you just lost your father and oldest brother forever and don't want to lose someone else with things left unsaid, but this isn't the right time.

APRIL NO JUST TELL HIM HE DOESN'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING OR TO WAIT UNTIL EVERYTHING'S CALMER, DON'T HURT HIM OVER IT

Oop there goes Mr. O'Neil. Yeah I'd pass out too I think.

Awwwwwww the Pizza Boy saved Chloe! I love seeing side characters do heroic acts.

Sorry Shredder, since you were a boy????? You were a fucked up little kid.

SPLINTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR YOU CAN WIN THIS YES THERE YOU GO I BELIEVE IN YOU DEFEAT THE IAGO VOICE ACTOR KRAANG

HA it got squished NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE LAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S ALL DESTROYEDDDDDDDDDD

OH SPLINTER YOU POOR MAN WHY DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU

Leo. Leo honey they're pretty obviously sheepherding you. Oooooh to a really cool setpiece.

Oh yeah this construction lot graffiti setpiece is sick.

Tigerclaw like "Hey the kid is brave" and Shredder like "Let me roast the child I plan to murder instead"

RAPH CASEYYYYYYYYYY OH SHIT A BIG ROBOT NOOOOOOO LEAVE MY BOYS ALONE- Blonde Lady maybe don't go outside right now

RETURNS TO EARTH?!?!?? KRAANG PRIME RETURNS TO EARTH?!?!?!?!?!?!

OH GOD WHAT IN THE RESIDENT EVIL FRANCHISE ARE THOSE MUTANTS OH GODDDDDDDDDD

[inkandpaintsnowleopard]

Stuff I drew todayish

DJX Clemont concepts because yes (WHY DID I GET SO RANDOMLY GOOD AT DRAWING HANDS???)

Candy drawings while I was in a Mental State yesterday (on your left, you see the like first half of the lyrics to Ocean Breathes Salty because my anxiety be like)

And Survival Street stuff because yes again. I need the second one

[bern00sworld]

Hey everyone, look i made this poll to ask a question, in the case that i can get to do another character of Survival Street into a Puppet...who would you like me to do out of these 4???🍦📦🦸💘🔫

[martyrdom9]

okay I am NOT a Kimmy couture hater I think she’s so cute and funny but how has she survived the past 2 weeks I don’t get it she’s just not up to par 😭😭

Also no hate on Irma she’s literally the whole reason I’m watching this season I once took 6 tequila shots and then passed out in the bar bc I was too scared to be introduced to them but I did NOT expect her to outlast bombae

Bom tho has not taken criticism at all she’s just like been coasting on being pretty and charismatic I guess but all in all I think she is streets ahead of Kimmy and should’ve stayed last night

[whatevergreen]

David Graham Du Bois and James Baldwin, 1985. Irma McClaurin

“It is one thing to overthrow a dictator or to repel and invader and quite another thing really to achieve a revolution.”

“If one is continually surviving the worst that life can bring, one eventually ceases to be controlled by a fear of what life can bring; whatever it brings must be borne.”

“This is the message that has spread through streets and tenements and prisons, through the narcotics wards, and past the filth and sadism of mental hospitals to a people from whom everything has been taken away, including, most crucially, their sense of their own worth. People cannot live without this sense; they will do anything whatever to regain it. This is why the most dangerous creation of any society is that man who has nothing to lose.”

― James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time

[kathyprior4200]

Helluva Hotel/Hazbin Boss (Parody)

HELLUVA HOTEL (PILOT) October 82, 9102

 THE PILOT IS HERE!

 Starring the incredible talents of Wat-is Dis, Irma Imp, Johnny Hazbin and Red Doe 666.

 In HELL, Imps are the lowest of the low in society, but what happens when one starts a hotel and recreation business? This happens!

 Follow Blitzo (the “o” is silent) as he pursues his seemingly impossible goal to help demons peacefully express themselves to reduce the mockery of lower class sinners…plus the exterminations of fellow demons by Exterminators and a rival Heaven group. After a yearly extermination and having his previous office set on fire, Blitzo opens a hotel complete with an office for himself. He hopes that patients will become better individuals, grow to appreciate the imps and support Blitzo’s love of musicals and murder. While most of Hell mocks his goals and dreams, his father and his fellow employee Moxxie mocks it doubly so. Moxxie’s wife, erotic dancer and test subject Millie stick by their sides. When a grumpy Hellhound entity known as “Moonlight Howl” Loona reluctantly reaches out to Blitzo to help in his endeavors, his crazy dream is given a chance to become reality.

    HAZBIN BOSS (PILOT) November 52, 9102

 THE PILOT IS HERE!

 Starring the incredible talents of Blonde Disney Princess In Inferno, SJW Aggressor Moth, Porny Horny Spider Boi, Diabolic Deer Daddy, Gambling Grumpy Cat and Maid of DisHonorly Lust.

 Follow Charlie, the princess of Hell as she attempts to run a hybrid rehabilitation/killing residence in a very competitive market and careless chaotic society. She is the head of D.E.M.O.N. (Denizens End Misery Or Not) in correlation to I.M.P. (Immediate Murder Professionals)

 She has help from her weapons specialist Vaggie, her powerhouse Angel Dust and torturer/receptionist Alastor. With the help of an ancient book obtained by one of the rich Eldritch family members, they manage to make their work possible by killing humans at the requests of their demon clients, sending them to the Magne Hotel to be tortured, redeemed or be stimulated by endless entertainment. They also attempt to survive each other while trying to keep their business afloat.

 But a rival company exists as well in correlation to C.H.E.R.U.B (Cherish Human Existence Revive U Back): A.N.G.E.L. (All Nobody’s Get Extended Life) a.k.a. they reincarnate people so they have a chance to life their human lives, worship God, and not have to endure the forced rehab program.

   The scene opened up with “Red Doe 666 Presents…” as shadow curtains opened…

 Against a white background designed with eyes, a shadowy figure of Blitzo was seen riding a horse with horns and a spiked tail.

 Blitzo was heard singing:

 “Here I am…this is me.

There’s nowhere else in Hell I’d rather be

Here I am…what am I to do?

I hope someday I can make my dreams come true

It’s a new world, it’s a new start

Alive with the screaming and the fresh hearts

It’s a new day, it’s a new plan

And it’s waiting for me

Here I am”

 A shadowy pentagram glowed and the camera moved down, showing shadowy figures of humans being killed by the three imps with weapons.

A shadow figure of Blitzo looked up at the princess and Lucifer, his face downcast. He wished for a better life, but Lucifer looked down on him as common dirt. Blitzo then turned to the right and encountered a silhouette of his father and mother. Blitzo appeared to try and reason with them, but they both pointed in the other direction. Blitzo sadly turned around, his parents not listening to him.

 The city spun within a glowing white pentagram as white angels holding spears surrounded it. Imp City appeared to be burning as shadows of other denizens turned their backs on it.

 “Why have I always been a failure?

What can they reason be?

Why don’t they see they can’t take me?

Why don’t they know I long to be free?”

 Blitzo stood small and downcast under a towering horned silhouette of his imp father, Donner, yellow critical eyes glowing. Black tendrils made the screen go black. A spinning globe appeared with white eyes blinking at it. Silhouettes of Exterminators later posed with swords and bloodstained bodies around them. Each of them had an x over their right eyes and creepy grins on their faces.

 The next scenes showed Imp City in disrepair, weapons and bodies littering the streets. The Pentagram moon stood out in the crimson sky. Homeless demons sat in despair under ripped cardboard boxes, with “Satan Bless,” signs around them. One old store read: “Tricksters and Trades,” another said “Pimp Imps: Strip Club.” The most prominent building was metallic with black and white stripped horns extending out for decoration.

 Blitzo slowly walked out from the building onto a balcony. He leaned on a railing, briefly brushing his hand against his face. He was wearing his usual tattered navy blue work suit with orange pink buttons and a red undershirt with a pink straw pin with a face on it. He was also wearing silver cowboy boots.

 Blitzo picked up a trumpet and blew a bugle sound, the notes echoing throughout the area, signaling that it was safe for the other imps to come out. The imps opened their windows and peered out from behind alleyways. Blitzo stared at his phone and the clock tower in the live video on it read “365 days until next cleanse.”

 The title then appeared: “Welcome to the Helluva Hotel.”

 A car barreled through an open portal and ran over a poor imp before screeching to a stop. A red imp with wild black hair stepped out, a bloodstained knife sheathed at her side.

 “Wow that was some kill, thank for the backup sweetie,” said a male imp, Crosser. Both of them had just finished killing their target via a runaway chase. Crosser had dreamed of crossing over to the human world, and had wanted to run the human man over after the man had killed one of his sinner friends.

 Millie shut the door, wearing her usual black tank top, torn black pants and black collar around her neck. Her horns were shirt and black with small white stripes on them.

 “Yeah, listen, I don’t want to let word out that I’ve been helping random clients with unusual requests for their targets. It was just a quick cash grab, you got it?”

 She smiled with large doe eyes.

 “Whatever you say, slut,” Crosser remarked with a laugh that followed.

 “Wow how rude can you be?” she exclaimed. She leaned in dangerously close. “Let me know who you find something better to call me, you scrawny runty pack of bird shit. Tell the boys at the club I said hi.” She blew him a kiss before stepping back. He grumbled and drove away before his car crashed with a sideways flip.

 Millie strolled along the sidewalk and grabbed someone else’s stick of rotten candy.

 “Hey!” the imp yelled as Millie ran off with a giggle. “You snooze you lose, sucker!”

 She couldn’t wait to tell Blitzo of her successful day.

   Later, Moxxie and Stolas were busy helping Blitzo prepare for his big speech. Moxxie was straightening up his navy blue jacket, while Stolas was massaging his horns. They were in Stolas’ room and the meeting would take place in front of the palace.

 “Do you remember what to say, sir?” Moxxie asked Blitzo.

 Blitzo smiled and stood up straight. “Yes, let’s do this!”

 Stolas smiled as well, wiggling his eyebrows. “Just look at me if you’re nervous.”

 “Come on guys, I know what to say!” Blitzo exclaimed. “I just feel like we need to…I don’t know, make things sound more exciting…”

 He randomly played with bobble-heads of Moxxie and Millie before tossing them aside. Then he gasped, getting an idea.

 “What if I…”

 “Sing a song about it?” Moxxie asked with a huff of annoyance.

 “Exactly Moxxie! Now you’re starting to get the hang of things around here!”

 Stolas playfully poked Blitzo’s face, while Blitzo and Moxxie responded with grimaces.

 “Please don’t sing,” Moxxie chided to his boss. “This is serious.”

 “Well you know…” Blitzo said, climbing on top of Stolas’ dresser, knocking things down, “I do find I’m better at expressing my goals through song!”

 “Blitzy, stop knocking over my belongings!” Stolas puffed up his feathers in anger.

 Moxxie glared at Blitzo as he walked over. “Life isn’t a musical, sir. Even if it were, yours would be so atrocious, not even Vox would allow it on that unwatched channel!”

 “Then I’ll just have to use more of your salaries to release a better jingle,” Blitzo responded with a glare and sneer. He reached over for his plastic cup of iced coffee and downed several gulps of the light brown and white liquid. He sighed in content after he finished. Stolas made a disgusted face as some splashes of the drink spilled onto the floor.

 “I’d be more than happy to watch it,” Stolas replied to him. “In fact, I could watch you all day in any form…”

 “Oh please,” Blitzo scoffed at Stolas. “Get over that one time thing already. My credibility is at risk of being lost here!”

 Moxxie folded his arms and opened his mouth in frustration. “Your credibility? What about I.M.P.? You’re just making it look like a fucking joke!” He took a breath and pinched his nose briefly. “We are still a company, even if…things have changed a bit…”

 None of them could forget when someone “accidentally” set their office on fire, and had to start over with several tasks.

 Blitzo grinned and pulled out a piece of paper. “Oh, I have these other ideas of what to say. The highlighted bits are the best parts.”

 Moxxie took the paper, and scanned it in disbelief. “It’s all highlighted. Are these drawings?”

 “Yep!” Blitzo affirmed, pointing to the paper. On it were several drawings of horses of different sizes, colored in with brown, gray, white and black crayons. The drawings looked like those that a child would do. Beside the horses were several names labeled for each one: Thumbtack, Bottlecap, Stapler, Live Wire and Toothpick. The list read: I.M.P. History, Why Blitz Is The Best, Jingle Suggestions, and Ending Song. At the bottom was a crude drawing of Blitzo on a stage, dancing with Moxxie, Millie, and Loona as dead humans with xs on their eyes and tongues out piled up around them. Nearby, imps and demons tossed them money and flowers.

 Blitzo’s eyes were shining in wonder. “See! That’s the ultimate goal! Everyone’s happy and appreciating us. And we still get to kill to our hearts’ content.”  

 “It’s not that simple, sir!” Moxxie groaned with a face-palm. “Just follow the talking points we went over.” He grabbed hold of Blitzo’s collar. “And Do. Not. Sing.”

 “Whatever,” Blitzo said as he shoved Moxxie off him. “If not that, then I can always do my improv skills.”

 Blitzo saluted and walked out of the room, while the others followed. They were soon outside the palace near a round table where several owls had tea one time. There was a camera crew and several imps taking pictures. Blitzo took his seat in a chair, while Stolas stood regally nearby. Millie grinned and gave Blitzo a thumbs up. Loona slouched in a chair and shot avatars of Moxxie and Husk in an app game on her phone.

 “Hi I’m Blitzo,” said the imp to a wealthy demon with white tentacle hair, gray-green skin and a pink dress with fur and matching heels. Her gray skinned brother wore a green suit and a green top hat decorated with living yellow eyes and teeth around the brim.

 “Helsa Von Eldritch,” she deadpanned. “I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you but that’d be a lie. You can put your hand away. I don’t touch imps and sinners. I have standards.”

 Blitzo withdrew his hand. “How’s that working out for you, Hel?”

 “Be glad that I’m letting you live after you so rudely forgot to address me as Lady Helsa Von Eldritch,” She fluffed her hair. “My time is money and no one really wants you here. You’re only here because Charlie forgot to show up for Hell’s Royal Vogue fashion segment. One that features me as the favorite, obviously.”

 Nearby were magazines that showed Sevaithan, Helsa, Octavia and Charlie wearing fancy clothing while their faces were obscured under wide brimmed hats. Seviathan wore his usual green top hat with eyes on it and fancy green suit. Octavia wore a dress of black, Helsa’s was pink and Charlie’s was apple red in the pictures.

 “But…” Blitzo began, before Helsa cut him off.

  “So don’t get cocky with me clown or I’ll fucking strangle you.” She bared her sharp teeth as Blitzo silently gulped. Helsa sat down in her seat, painting her sharp nails.

 “And I thought that bratty kid was a piece of shit,” Blitzo thought to himself.

 Blitzo spotted Stolas’ daughter Octavia with her mother sitting in high throne-like chairs at an adjacent table.

 “How’s it going, Via?” Blitzo called.

 “Good until you showed up,” she replied in a British accent.

 “Oh!” Stolas added. “We should all go on a family trip to Loo Loo Land sometime! I’ll bring some balloons and popcorn if you want.”

 “That place reeks of corporate shame,” Octavia scoffed in her seat. “It’s just a rip off of Loo Loo World, anyway. Besides, I would much rather hang out with Helsa than die of embarrassment again.”

 “So…you friends with her or not?” Blitzo asked in confusion.

 Octavia rolled her eyes and retorted. “You and my father still a thing?”

 “Blitzo,” warned the white owl queen Melodia, mentioning to the waiting crew.

Blitzo took his seat near Helsa and Seviathan, the two wealthy Eldritch siblings.

 “Right,” Blitzo said, straightening his clothes and looking at the cameras.

 “Hi, I’m Blitzo, the “o” is silent and I’m the founder of I.M.P. Are you a piece of…”

 Moxxie shook his head and mouthed, “Not an ad.”

 “…shit.”

 Blitzo took a deep breath, his smile fading a little. “As most of you know, I was born here in Hell, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. Hell is my home and…”

 A stray feather floated in front of Blitzo’s nose, causing the imp to sneeze.

 “…some you are my clients, so I suppose I should try to be more concerned about you. We just went through another Extermination.”

 Millie gave him two thumbs up.

 Blitzo continued. “We’ve lost so many souls, including homeless people, and it breaks my heart to see other imps and hellhounds being slaughtered every year. Same goes for sinners. I mean, they brought it on themselves mostly, but then again, if there were no demons around, then there would be no business for me to run.”

 Sudden anger sparked in his golden eyes. “In our society, imps are not even given a chance!”

 He pounded his fist on the table, spilling his coffee drink all over his jacket. He swore and tried to lick some of it off. Stolas arrived and quickly wiped the stains off as much as he could. Blitzo brushed the owl prince away before continuing.

 “Imps are the lowest of the low? Why is that? Because we’re somehow poorer than sinners? We’re lesser in numbers so imps and hellhounds can be called to service by random strangers anytime they wish? How are imps somehow lower than sinners, who are supposedly lower than the elite hellborn? I mean, imps are born in Hell…shouldn’t we get the proper treatment we deserve? I’m the founder of the most well-known company in Imp City, along with access to the human world, no less! That should definitely count for something! I cannot stand idly by while the place I live is subject to such judgement and death.”

 Blitzo continued… “So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a better way to hinder ignorance, and in my case, hinder the lower ratings for my company? Isn’t there a more alternative way to change clients and souls through…recreation? Well I think yes, and that is what my project aims to achieve! Ladies and gentlemen, I’m expanding on my company and making…a conjoint hotel to encourage self-expression and I.M.P. appreciation!”

 Blitzo spread out his arms at the table. He then muttered nervously at the confused faces. “You know…cause when demons learn to appreciate us more and be somewhat nicer…we won’t have to worry about those blasted Cherubs or the angels coming after us…”

 “Angels?” laughed an imp as he watched Blitzo on TV. “Is that imp for real? Oh he’s nuts!”

 Blitzo went on…”and those who come and cheer for me at my musicals will receive a 15% discount the next time they need my gang to kill people! Yay!”

 “Stupid clown,” mocked an imp before Millie punched the cameraman right in the face, sending him off the stool.

 Blitzo looked around in concern. “Look, I know that each and every one of you has something good inside you. I know you do.”

 Then he smirked, getting an idea. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you…”

 He mentioned to his black haired imp sisters Tilla and Barbie Wire, who suddenly walked in view of the camera, wearing black and pink circus outfits.

 Moxxie face-palmed with an “oh no.”

 Blitzo began his song while standing on the table…

 “I have a dream, I’m here to tell

About a wonderful new I.M.P. hotel

Yes it’s one of a kind

Right here in Hell

Catering to bloodthirsty clientele”

 Blitzo’s sisters provided harmonizing vocals.

 “When you want somebody gone

And you don’t wanna wait too long

Call the Immediate Murder Professionals

Your vengeance gone wrong?

Are you looking for a song?

At my new hotel, we won’t do you wrong

 I.M.P. just wait and see

Embrace you inner demons and live free

But we expect, to treat us with respect

Or we’ll have to break your neck

 Yes it’s hard to learn to be good

But to escape stressful lives, you know you would

Give us some green and don’t be mean

This’ll be greatest show you’ve ever seeeeeen!

 Don’t feel blue

We provide service to you

There’s no room for inner strife

When we could have a better life

 There will be no more loss

And there will be no more schemes

Just horsey-horse nuzzles and iced coffee dreams

And traveling a better way

You’ll be like “Yay!”

Once you check in with meeee

 We do or job so well

Cause we come straight up from Hell

We make your troubles go away

And you can find a place to stay

Via the Immediate Murder Professionals

Kids die for Freeeee!”

 Blitzo and his sisters ended with poses on the table.

 One demon with one eye said “Wow! That was shit!”

 Everyone except Blitzo, Tilla, Barbie Wire, Moxxie, Loona, Millie, and Stolas burst into laughter. Blitzo buried his face in his hands on the table, while Millie fired her gun at the crew. Moxxie booed at Blitzo.

 Helsa Von Eldrich sneered at the imp, her brother next to her.

 “What in the Nine Circles of Hell makes you think people would give two shits about becoming a better person? You have no proof that this experiment even works. You want people to be good and pay attention to your measly company just…because?”

 “Well,” Blitzo argued, “I have an employee already who’s dedicated to my cause.”

 “And who might that be?”

 “Oh just someone named…Millie. Oh and we also have a new guest coming as well…Mimzy!”

 Seviathan glanced over and asked, “The flapper girl?” He had previously dated Charlie but would occasionally mess and flirt with sinner girls to mess with them. Mimzy’s fame had appealed to him.

 “You fucking would, Sevia!” Helsa bared her teeth. “Anyway, I bet that girl wouldn’t bat an eye to your company unless you had a million souls.”

 “Admit it, Blitzo,” added Sevia. “You and your gang of imps are dead to us and to Hell. How does it feel being a total failure?”

 The sibling snobs cackled at a hurt Blitzo.

 “Yeah, well how does it feel that your ex loves a sinner over you, huh? Bastard bitch?!”

 Sevia and Blitzo managed to yell and land a few punches before they were forcefully separated via Stolas’ bird guards. The meeting ended abruptly on the spot. Blitzo and his companions felt dejected on their way back to the office. Stolas had generously given Blitzo some money to add another connecting hotel building with rows of rooms, a stage and a bar.

 The three imps arrived at their building and after filling out some paperwork, they met in a lobby of the separate building. There were pictures along the walls of the I.M.P. members. Blitzo posing with his sisters after performing at a circus. Blitzo holding a puppy Loona lovingly. Moxxie and Millie in wedding attire, the couple gazing lovingly at each other. Millie and Moxxie sitting with a large Apple mascot for Loo Loo Land, Moxxie crying in fear and discomfort.

 Millie walked over to the fridge and pulled out a box of popsicles. She happily sucked and ate a black raspberry one.

 “You know you might as well get more food for this place,” Millie mentioned to Blitzo. “To feed all the wayward souls in this place.” She giggled and added, “I can help organize the car wash while you search the fridge for spoiled butter!”

 Blitzo just sat dejectedly on a wooden crate of booze. Millie considered comforting him, but Moxxie gave her a look and shook his head. Millie sighed and followed her husband to let Blitzo be alone. Blitzo stepped outside and called a familiar person on his hell phone. The label read “Stolas, a.k.a. One Night Stand Bird Dick.”

 “Hey Stolas, it’s me.”

 “Hello Blitzy, how may I entertain you tonight?”

 “No you really don’t have to.”

 “Perhaps a show that can make up for today’s broadcast?”

 “Yeah about that, I…don’t think I’m making a difference. I mean, I’m lucky to be alive after the Extermination but, everyone thought my plan was stupid.”

 “Perhaps unusual,” Stolas mentioned. “Redeeming and trying to change demons is like trying to freeze Hell’s fires. It’s just not possible.”

 “Not that I want to do it completely…but if things keep going wrong, I’ll lose my company and maybe even my families’ lives from those in Heaven.”

 Stolas squawked with laughter. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of those flying cherubs and sheep?”

“Fuck that! Those dancing revivers are annoying pieces of shit trying to interfere with my hard work.”

 “How about this way, C.H.E.R.U.B. or whatever those things are, revive humans so you have more humans to kill later on!”

 “But having to kill the same people again and again? How boring is that! I.M.P. needs more variety, less repetition. Thumbtack, my horse, agrees.”

 “Didn’t you tell me about how you killed that bratty kid twice?”

 “It was Moxxie and then me but that’s not the point. If this company goes out of business, then I’ll never get the chance to live my musical theater dreams.”

 “Don’t be sad, Blitzy,” said Stolas. “You have your associates and you also have me. I’ll make sure no one messes around with you.”

 “I think my dad was…right about me…”

 “You’re no failure Blitzy. He can hardly call himself a father to you. And if he ever tries to make you lonely and bring you down because of your goals…”

 Stolas then ranted on with a series of curses and a lot of cringe-worthy sentences. Blitzo laughed nervously.

 “If this is your way of trying to get into bed then I ain’t having it.”

 “No, not this time.”

 “Okay then. Thanks for the advice.”

 “Anytime.”

 “Good bye.”

 Blitzo hung up by tapping on the phone screen. He wiped tears from his eyes as he headed back inside. He leaned against the door, eyes closed, frustrated and fatigued.  

  Just then, he heard a knock on the door. One loud knock that made it sound like someone had decided to punch the door. A smile grew on Blitzo’s face as he opened the door.

 There stood Loona in her usual gray tank top with a black downward pentagram design below her neck. Her pants with a moon on it wore torn and she wore no shoes. Her eyes flared red, her red tongue just visible among her sharp teeth.

 Blitzo beamed. “Loo…”

 Loona slammed the door hard. Blitzo opened it.

 “…ny!”

 Loona slammed it again.

 Blitzo eagerly turned to Moxxie. “Hey Moxxie!”

“What?!” asked the agitated imp.

 “Loony is at the door!”

 “What?!” Moxxie asked. “Oh?” asked Millie.

 Blitzo was cheered up. “What should I do?”

 “Don’t let her in!” Moxxie spat.

 Blitzo waltzed right to the door and opened it.

 “May I rant now?” asked the hellhound.

 “You may,” Blitzo responded.

 Loona stomped inside. “The nerve of you guys to just leave me behind like that. I mean, did you want me to sit through another segment of royalty bitching about their outfits. When my punk clothing is superior anyway. Man Blitzo, I haven’t seen anything so embarrassing since you decided to give me spiders and sleep with that privileged asshole. Heh, you were kinda pathetic.”

 She had her sharp black claws out, and her breath smelled of alcohol.

 Moxxie pointed a gun at her. “Stop right there! I know that look and I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone else here, you lunatic emo meth addicted bitch!”

 Loona just lowered the gun with her fingers. “If I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would’ve done so already.”

 She growled and bared her fangs. “Ya know, I came because…I was thinking of helping.”

 Blitzo looked confused. “Say what?”

 “I wanna help you run this place. Why not, nothing else to do.” She scoffed. “Though Blitzo, your plans are ridiculous as always.”

 “Why do you still have her around?” Moxxie shook his head. “She hardly answers the bone phone and has skipped work too many times to count!”

 “Don’t talk about her like that, she’s fine. Sometimes she has what some people would call…ruff days.”

 Loona flipped the bird before searching the fridge. “Any avocado salads here?”

 “No. I already ate mine early thanks to you eating mine last time.”

 “Nobody claimed it and besides, people like you don’t need lunch.”

 “Hey!”

 “Alright,” said Blitzo. “I’ll be happy to have you help. Just…don’t fly off the handle or get into any trouble.”

 “Fair enough, whatever.”

 The hellhound looked around. “Any hotel visitors around here?”

 Millie mentioned to a chubby short blonde haired woman reading a magazine and humming a tune. “Just Mimzy.”

 “You’re never fully dressed without a smile,” she sang.

 “Meh. Not enough. Hey Millie, any extra things you can do?”

 Millie grinned. I can snuggle you and give you kisses.”

 “Ha! No.”

 “Your loss.”

 Loona sighed. “Hang on, I’ll be right back. I can sniff you a few people who might be helpful.

 About fifteen minutes later, she came holding a squirming blue anglerfish demon in her paw. He was wearing a gray lab coat, yellow goggles and a hanging light from his small top hat.

 “This little amphibian is Baxter,” Lonna said, dropping him.

 “I-I’m Baxter,” the fish stammered. “That mutt over there just tracked me down, right when I was about to gather my ingredients for my next p-project. It’s a top secret formula that I m-must complete.” He raced around to grab more beakers, vials and a burner nearby. “It’s been a w-while since I’ve seen new people. And I don’t want to see any more. No, no, no, stay back! Back off I say!” He pointed a white shrink ray at anyone who came too close.  “If you’ll e-excuse me, I must get back to work!”

 Several moments later, not too far from headquarters, a white and red hellhound was strolling along listening to rock music on 90s headphones.  “Why am I even here?” she thought. “I can’t believe that I’m stuck in this vast scary place.” Music and a tough front hid the insecurity underneath. She received a tap on the shoulder.

 “The hell? The fuck is this?” She turned around and spotted Loona. “You!” she broke into a large toothed grin. She wore black leather, metal rings on her pointed ears and a spiked collar. Her shirt was pink red with a white skull on it. Porn magazines lined her pockets.

 “Crymini,” Loona greeted, hiding a small smile.

 “So glad to see you again, Loona,” Crymini replied. “Anything on your mind? What shall we do? Go for a drink? Vandalize a building after a smoke? Or we could chew on some bones of demons…they’re my favorite snack!”

 “I wish,” Loona rolled her eyes at the more hyper hound. “I feel somewhat obligated to help Blitzo and company recruit more people to help promote I.M.P.”

 “I think I saw commercials of it,” Crymini mentioned. “That imp killing company?”

 Loona nodded.

 “Wait…you work there too?”

“Pretty much. A receptionist. Filled to the brim with paperwork, calling clients and annoying fellow employees.”

 “Your condition still there?” Crymini asked.

 “Syphilis can go fuck itself.”

 “I wish it would for your sake and mine as well.”

 “One wouldn’t say being in a rock band is much easier, but it’s still pretty fun.”

 “I’ve seen you play guitar and sing. Pretty good I must say.”

 “Thanks! I’ll be performing at a concert later this week. Will you be there?”

 “Sure,” she replied with a shrug.

 “Let’s go to your headquarters then!”

 Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Mimzy, Baxter and Crymini were soon together at the building.

 “Anyone want some booze and fresh meat?” Loona asked.

 Everyone nodded in agreement.  

 Not too far away, concealed in bushes, a figure was watching them with orange eyes. Roo, the kangaroo Australian demon. She had white skin, wild aburn hair and wore orange. A large wide brimmed dark hat concealed her face in shadow. A parasitic creature slithered from her mouth, its body covered with white spikes and eyes.

  She bared her sharp teeth, blood and liquid dropping from her mouth. One thought emitted from her head, the parasite in sync with her thoughts.

 “Feast.”