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deadcactuswalking · 8 months ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 13/04/2024 (J. Cole's Might Delete Later, David Guetta/OneRepublic)

Hozier’s “Take Me to Church” peaked at #2 for four weeks. The first week, “Uptown Funk!” blocked it, but for the most part, it was halted by Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do”. This week, just under a decade later, Hozier can finally claim his UK #1 as “Too Sweet” lands its first week at the top, skipping straight up from #4 last week. I’m personally not complaining as it’s a great song, but I will be complaining because under it, we have J. Cole. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, those being songs exiting the UK Top 75 (which is what I cover!) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid farewell to: “exes” by Tate McRae, “I Remember Everything” by Zach Bryan featuring Kacey Musgraves, “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and some long-term bottom-feeders like “Someone You Loved” and “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac. Like much of everything else this week, it’s a bit of a mixed bag.

We only have one returning entry, but it’s pretty interesting and surprisingly high: Thanks to the specific surge of TikTok traction to a Summer Walker remix, “Hell n Back” by Bakar, which peaked at #20 just last year, is back for another run at #26, already nearing its peak position that I honestly expect it to surpass soon enough. As for the gains, we see healthy boosts for “We Ain’t Here for Long” by Nathan Dawe at #49, “Worth It.” by RAYE at #46, “Jump” by Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng at #43, “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #39, “Saturn” by SZA at #30, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna and Clementine Douglas at #21, “Back on 74” by Jungle at #19 - really glad this is still at it - “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor at #14 and finally, of all hits, “Austin” by Dasha finds its place in the top 10 at #8. Maybe this is a fluke, or maybe Dasha is a pop star in the making. I guess time will tell.

As for our top five, we start with… Artemas, joy, and “i like the way you kiss me” at #5, then the usual suspects: “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #4, “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé back to down to #3, Bentley Boonemobile with “Beautiful Things” at #2 and of course, Hozier at the very top. Now for whatever debuted on the rest of this chart this week… trust me, it’s mostly not very good.

New Entries

#67 - “Cry” - Benson Boone

Produced by Malay

Bento Box’s debut album with a name stupider than the nicknames I give him on this show debuted surprisingly low at #16 - that’s lower than Feeder, man. And I like Feeder. Regardless, I did like those two singles, I have yet to hear the record, but I’m sure there’s some good on it, and I’m happy to say that this would be included in that. Now why is pretty simple, it starts with a melancholy ballad produced by Frank Ocean’s go-to, Malay, but that doesn’t last long as it’s scrapped for a more propelling pop rock chug. The lyrics go from woe-is-me to bitter and toxic bitching about his ex, in icky falsetto deliveries only accentuated by an ugly, distorted vocal chop that does not fit at all. There’s an obvious vocal glitch that was kept in and doesn’t sound intentional in the first verse, but it adds to the genuinely infuriating song full of straining and one-note riffing, as well as a second fake-out with him briefly trying to see her perspective. The song’s ugly, it doesn’t flow and it makes me hate the guy singing it, but that seems to be the intention, with which it completely succeeds. Three-for-three, Ben 10, keep it up. I wish you were comfortable with swearing though, it would hit a little better… I know, that’s rich coming from me.

#64 - “Good Luck, Babe!” - Chappell Roan

Produced by Dan Nigro

With Olivia Rodrigo’s producer and some sleeper traction for her debut album from last year, Missouri singer Chappell Roan seems primed for a big 2024 breakout, especially since she’s on tour with O-Rod. Her last album was a bit of a queer concept record and this seems to be following in similar footsteps, being about compulsory heterosexuality, feeling like you are conformed into heteronormative behaviours despite being queer. It details a secret relationship wherein love cannot be fully reciprocated due to that circumstance, and it’s treated tastefully with enough drama for most of the song for it to feel both worthwhile and not mundane, as well as not making some grander statement. The bridge irks me a tad, not allowing for the nuance of gay women marrying men and framing it in a way that seems more bitter and honestly self-serving to her narrative. Even if it’s from a different perspective, it seems a bit tasteless and awkward tonally with the rest of the song, especially given this is a classic synthpop track in the vein not of the retro pastiche or indie revival but standing damn near to Wham!’s “Last Christmas” and struggling to tell the difference kind of synthpop. That makes it slightly unique but in terms of the vocal melodies Ms. Roan lays on top of that sound, it fails to capture me all too much, and I’m also really struggling not to hear a mashup on the verses with “I Just Called to Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder. The lyrics sharing soime similarities aren’t helping either. This is far from bad but both sonically and lyrically, it trips over, in a way that seems like it might be on purpose, and I do want to give this song credit for tackling an interesting, niche topic and having a morally grey depiction of it. That’s impressive for the pop charts, I just don’t really enjoy the final product. Sorry.

#59 - “Feel It” (From the Original Series Invincible) - d4vd

Produced by Gray Toomey, Noah Ehler and Sam Homaee

For some brief background, Invincible is an Amazon animated series based on the comic books starring Omni-Man, and the second part of its second season has just concluded, with the crew recruiting d4vd of… “Romantic Homicide” fame, because, of course, for a soundtrack single. Now for the song and okay, this is quite similar to the Benson Boone song from before. Firstly, it vaguely aligns itself with alternative R&B and indie pop in its groove, guitar tones and delivery and secondly, on a lyrical and vocal level, I’m pretty sure I’m also supposed to find d4vd a bit overwhelming and annoying, given how this girl thinks he’s crazy and he’s being inescapable to her. There are a key differences: A) this is not a rock song, it’s a synthpop haze with too much reverb, echo and overdubs - probably enough studio manufacturing to kill a small elephant. B) d4vd is neither funny nor really aggressive, he is simply being a nuisance towards the woman in the name of love, and has some creepy undertones regarding how she treats the woman in this story being uncomfortable with his advances, even if this relating to a fictional character in the series, it fails to translate beyond that. C) there is not much space left in this mix for any real emotional resonance, because he’s half-rapping and the song is filled to the brim with effects. It’s difficult to even focus on the narrative given the sheer amount of layers. Finally, D) this is a pick-up, not a rejection, so the annoyance feels like encroaching on territory rather than having any solid catharsis. All this is to say that the song just fails on all of its levels, but fails honestly. I can absolutely see someone liking this even having over-analysed it like I have, and its crime is not translating well to an audience it didn’t really intend to have, considering I’m not a d4vd fan and I’ve never seen this show. I can envision this getting pretty big and whilst I do not like the song one bit, it’s hard to complain about, really. It’s just refreshing, especially in a J. Cole week, to have a song that I don’t like for storied but largely impersonal and constructive reasons. To put it simply, I just don’t feel it.

#53 - “Crocodile Tearz” - J. Cole

Produced by T-Minus

I wrote a pretty extensive and scathing review of J. Cole’s latest mixtape, Might Delete Later. It’s #7 on the albums chart this week, and debuted three songs here this week. I am going to keep these entries brief as can be, because that review is there for you to read on my RateYourMusic 2024 listening log, the account’s exclusivelytopostown. Most of that log is in a scattered first-impressions style but that review is very thought-out, reflective and in-depth, so I’m quite proud of it. I’m tempted to format it and upload it separately as a review to this blog, though I don’t want to flood my page with such negativity. To cut it short, I think this mixtape is frankly embarrassing, as even moving away from stagnant and dire trap-adjacent production mostly headed by a clearly tired T-Minus, Cole is so unconvincing and insecure in his flexing that it becomes difficult to listen to, especially when he has all the technical lyrical skill and little personality to back up those flows, so they end up soggy and awkward. When he in any way attempts to be conscious, introspective or even commenting on his “place in the rap game”, he becomes downright insufferable and really just shows his ass rather than his pen. This song in particular has some of the dullest production Cole has ever rapped over though there are not many particularly corny lines here, other than how his dogs only shed tears in emojis and how he’s so much better than those girls on Instagram, right? Cole’s insistence on claiming himself superior to entire groups of people based on an intellect or higher spirituality he shows no proof of existing never gets old.

#38 - “7 Minute Drill” - J. Cole

Produced by T-Minus, Conductor Williams, Al Hug and Elyas

Okay, genuine question: how do I ethically tackle a song that has been rescinded by its artist, that days after release, has been disowned by the person who wrote and performed it, expressing live on stage that he regrets it and wishes it to be removed? Surely giving harsh criticism to a song that already makes him feel bad is just kicking a man when he’s down. Firstly, if you consider Cole’s position to be “down”, then you and me both are in the trenches and secondly, whilst I understand that the industry demands quick responses and can make the bureaucracy of releasing a track based on heated emotions quite frustrating, there is the option of just leaving it alone and not releasing anything, especially because “7 Minute Drill”, referring to the song process used to make it, not its runtime or genre, is framed more as a warning shot than a full-on diss. He didn’t even send the angry message before deleting it and walking it back with apologies. If anything, this song, like really the whole album, proves Cole’s insecurities about his self-instated “middleman” promo package and media representation. Cole just doesn’t have either the heart, or lack thereof, to make an actual diss track and also has nothing but good things to say about Kendrick - even in this diss track, he praises his musical output and fabricates outright lies about the albums’ reception to make it appear disrespectful. If you want any sonic criticism, the T-Minus beat is a practically unlistenable parody of “Like That” but Conductor Williams, as he always does, pulls a smooth piano jam in the back half that sadly cannot save the pathetic bars placed upon it. Next.

#37 - “I Don’t Wanna Wait” - David Guetta and OneRepublic

Produced by David Guetta, Brent Kutzle, T.I Jakke, Tyler Spry and Timofey Reznikov

Sigh… I quietly predicted this to myself. Once I’d seen EDM do-overs of “Gangsta’s Paradise”, “Better Off Alone” and “I’m Blue” hit the charts, a sinking feeling inside of me knew that O-Zone were not safe, and by God’s, Guetta has gone and done it. And he bought the hacks at OneRepublic with them, so no, let’s talk about that original song, because I think it’s genuinely great. Those synths glitch and buzz out more than you remember, having some pretty cool interplay with the deeper-voiced verses, and whilst yes, there is a nonsense hook, and the rest is in the band’s native Moldovan dialect of Romanian, you don’t need to know the language to find yourself humming the refrains in your head. The flip-phone beep after he says “beep”, the call-and-response “Alo! Salut!” and obviously both the “maiya-hee, maiya-hoo, maiya-ha” and “numa-numa-ey” choruses, they are so embedded into my brain, and that can’t just be by memetic coincidence, it’s a brilliantly written song and well executed. And obviously it was a hit - in the UK, their only hit, peaking at #3 in 2004 whilst Mario Winans’ “I Don’t Wanna Know”, also a classic, was #1. What’s most frustrating about this Guetta rendition is that “Dragostea din tei” was already milked dry for sampling, long before his 20-year anniversary last year. Most famously, it was sampled in a Newgrounds meme, but other than that, T.I. took it to #1 in the US with Rihanna on 2008’s “Live Your Life”, which was already a comical attempt at making it serious (consider it starting with T.I. shouting out the troops in Iraq), but you know what Tip and Rihanna DIDN’T do? Remove the nonsense lyrics - Rihanna does re-sing real lyrics in the nonsense melody, but they start and end the song with the original sample, there’s no hiding where it came from. They work because they’re nonsense, we do NOT need a Ryan Tedder rewrite! “Live Your Life” peaked at #2 here, but it was blocked by a single from The X Factor so it’s basically an honourable #1, I don’t like it much but it has a heart and charm that Guetta and Tedder could not successfully pull off even in their “prime”… which coincides pretty comfortably with when T.I. released that song. Have fun chasing the past, boys, maybe you’ll find your talent and creativity hidden back there.

#29 - “H.Y.B.” - J. Cole and Bas featuring Central Cee

Produced by DZL, T-Minus, Cedric Brown, AzizTheShake and FNZ

I quite like Bas. He doesn’t exactly a consistent brand of sound, instead shifting through a pretty eclectic array of pop-rap styles, though often maintaining both trap and Afrobeats influences, and therefore, his work tends to be a bit hit-or-miss when you consider the full-length projects. Regardless, he has genuine pop perfection on those albums - what ties his albums together is Bas, a lighthearted but experienced presence who is full of hooks and catchy flows, as well as often genuine heart that makes the variety of styles feel connected via that vocal throughline. This is his first top 40 hit in the UK, and it really bothers me that Cole do not push Bas further, as this could have easily been at least his second given he released a Jersey club-inspired single with AJ Tracey last year that could have absolutely smashed over here. It was one of my favourite songs of 2023, and still gets me really excited - if there’s anything Bas is great at, it’s just letting you loose and allowing for a dropping of the same pretence that has defined J. Cole’s every move. Cole puts Bas on his albums as a gesture but is seemingly unwilling to promote the man’s solo music. This may be because of how obvious it is that Bas, whilst maybe not as technically lyrical, has the pop edge over Cole, and could honestly be way bigger if given a chance to a mass audience or even bigger features like Cench over here, who is completely fine in his verse. This is just a sample-drill track wherein Cench does fine, Bas is cool but is only granted the hook - telling - and Cole embarrasses himself by reciting the alphabet without the letter L because he doesn’t take those. You got outcharted this week by two Benson Boone songs, Teddy Goddamn Swims and the song that dissed you in the first place still at #11. Please, stop lying to yourself, it’s not healthy.

Conclusion

Guess Best of the Week Boone strikes again with “Cry”. Jesus, I thought I was better than that. It’s even the only song I actually like out of our debuts, which is fantastic, so there won’t be an Honourable Mention. Instead, we can throw out a Dishonourable Mention for J. Cole’s “Crocodile Tearz”, whilst he ties for the worst. Both “7 Minute Drill” and David Guetta’s “I Don’t Wanna Wait” with OneRepublic feel like very cynical and regretful songs, made not for response but reaction and no, in art, those aren’t necessarily the same thing. Hopefully, we’ll have a more pleasant week on the horizon, there are pop girls by the dozen with Dua Lipa, Perrie of Little Mix, Sabrina Carpenter, Mimi Webb and perhaps most importantly, Future and Metro dropped the sequel. For now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #j. cole #might delete later #bas #central cee #d4vd #chappell roan #benson boone #onerepublic #david guetta

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notdoneintentionally-blog · 2 years ago

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Atypical friendships: Karube-Maki-Kuina

Notes: I don’t think this is atypical AT ALL, but I wanted to welcome Karube and Maki to the fandom! So I’m tagging @daikichixkarube @osmosistakumi and @kuinaoflight so they can tell me how many I got right.

If you want to see the other parts of ‘atypical friendships’, look under this tag in my blog. So far, I’ve got Kuina-Kuzuryuu, Chishiya-Usagi, Ann-Aguni, Yaba-Mira and Niragi-Lisa.

- The three of them share pretty similar traits: protective of their friends, big hearts, impulsive, love fighting and they seem like generally fun-loving people.

- Maki’s the more introverted out of the three of them, though it’s not hard to seem introverted next to the likes of Karube and Kuina.

- I think the reason why they didn’t meet in the show is that at least one of them would’ve died within a week of them knowing each other, because they kept doing increasingly stupid things. In these cases, Karube would usually be the ‘mom friend’ who tries to keep Kuina and Maki from seriously hurting themselves, but he rarely accomplishes anything. He’d be mixing a drink at the Beach’s bar when Chishiya comes to fetch him to try and talk some sense into Kuina. When he asks her what she’s doing she says ‘Maki and I are trying to bend this metal pole by kicking it’. ‘And where is Maki?’ ‘He’s at the infirmary with an icepack on his leg, but once the swelling’s gone down he’s going to try again.’

- Karube uses them to taste new drinks he comes up with, and this ends with them having a drinking night. Maki has a surprisingly high tolerance to alcohol, while it’s hard to say when Kuina’s actually drunk because she acts a lot like she does when she’s sober, but when she decides it’s a good idea to climb onto a tabletop, it’s time to cut her off.

- Kuina constantly makes them bracelets and necklaces for them to wear. Since it’s impossible to wear all of them, Karube and Maki have started tying them to various objects; their keychains, the bags for Maki’s equipment, the hems of some trousers…

- Karaoke! They’d love karaoke: Maki can actually sing pretty well, Karube is a decent singer, and Kuina can’t hit a note to save her life. However, she puts on such a performance that they love watching her or doing duets with her. When the three of them are singing together, any and all attempts to stay on pitch go out of the window and they simply start screaming the lyrics of the song at the top of their lungs and laughing, leaving behind a horrified audience.

- Karube and Kuina would be THE BIGGEST fans of the Sology. They’d go to every concert and be the most enthusiastic people in the audience. They’d also shout very inappropriate scenes to try and distract Maki. ‘Sign my tits!’ Said by Karube. ’Sign my ASS!’ Said by Kuina. ��SIGN MY DI-‘ You get the picture. However, the most embarrassed person in the room isn’t Maki, but Kuzuryuu, quietly standing beside them and wishing the earth would swallow him.

- I truly pity you if you mess with one of them, though if you’re stupid enough to do so while being aware that the three of them know how to fight, that’s on you. A guy acts particularly sleazy towards Kuina and Karube jumps out of the bar, Maki puts his drumsticks down, and Karube starts saying ‘Listen up: first she’s going to beat you up, then I’m going to beat you up, then he’s going to beat you up, then SHE’S going to beat you up, then I’M going to beat you up…’ Sometimes this drags on for so long that either Kuina interrupts by sending a kick to the guy’s face, or enough time has passed for Chishiya to go get his taser.

- Maki and Kuina have skincare nights. Have you SEEN Maki’s face? If I want to know his skincare routine, Kuina definitely wants to know it too.

- The Beach actually has four rules, the fourth one is ‘don’t speak the forbidden words (I dare you to…) in front of Kuina, Maki and Karube.’

- ‘The friends of my friends are my friends too’: this is something they take by heart and mostly, it works. Karube and Kuina get on with the other members of the Sology like a house on fire, Maki and Kuina like Arisu and Chota and make sure they’re protected in games, but Chishiya… well, they’ll get along with him one day. Hopefully.

- Speaking of, they have gotten hurt in the past because they were defending one of their friends’ loved ones, for example, Karube getting hurt protecting Kyuuma and telling Maki that ‘it’s alright, I know you would’ve done the same for Arisu or Chota.’ They all know how hard it is to lose someone close to them and they’d never wish that kind of pain on their friends.

- They have the same reasons for making it out alive: Karube has his girlfriend, Kuina her mother, and Maki has the Sology. They understand perfectly what it is to love other people with their entire hearts and being willing to do anything for them.

And here’s a meme I made:

#aib karube #aib #aib headcanon #aib season 2 #atypical friendships #kuina hikari #aib kuina #alice in borderland #aib maki

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 1 year ago

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Hello! If you're still accepting matchup requests, may I ask for a Bungo Stray Dogs/My Hero Academia matchup?

Pronouns: she/her- but I will answer to anything, idgaf

Sexuality: Bisexual-if you're hot, I'd hit it, no discrimination here

Zodiac/MBTI: Aquarius/ENTP

Appearance: 5'6", overweight, shoulder length brown hair and bangs but also wear a bun on top of my head a lot, pale w/ freckles, ears like fricken dumbo, I swear

Personality: Pretty logic based but I enjoy theoretical conversations. I've been told I'm outgoing and friendly, which I find amusing because I am very cynical and sarcastic. I'm a bit of an arse if I enjoy a person. Gentle ribbing is how I show love. I'm not great with emotion and I find myself faking most of them, but it is something I'm working on. Oh yeah, I talk a lot, probably too much as you can see.

Likes: Neuroscience, Video Games, horror movies, crime podcasts, unicorns, anime(obviously), theoretical discussion, talking about religion and politics

Dislikes: Black and white thinking, extreme views, mushrooms, olives (except when they're stuffed with pimento), inefficient rules/procedures, romance movies, aye-ayes

Hobbies: Cooking/Baking, Reading research papers, taking dumb online quizzes, making puns, singing(not well), playing with animals

Currently work in engineering, but I hate mechanical things. Lol

Side Note: I always fall for villains, I can't help it. Good guys are usually written as though they have the moral high ground, but there's always room for some healthy shades of gray. However, I don't hate good guys either. Everyone has good and bad traits at the end of the day. You just pick whose bs you're willing to deal with. Lol Also, thank you for taking the time to do all of this! You're the bomb.com!! Sorry that I ramble so much! Have a lovely day!

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

You and Chuuya are a formidable pair with the combined force of your sarcasm. But your friendliness balances out his stand-offish nature.

He’s also not great with emotions so you can work on that together. Because you both know you struggle with emotions, you’re able to be more patient with each other.

As a result of this as well, there’s probably a lot of gentle ribbing in your relationship. Others may think it’s a strange relationship. But it works for the two of you and that’s all that matters.

He would love listening to crime podcasts. He finds them interesting (as long as he doesn’t hear any of his own crimes in there…).

Your puns exhaust Chuuya so much. But he’s never going to tell you to stop. Your puns are the highlight of his day. He just has a reputation to uphold.

Speaking of his reputation, he has sworn you to secrecy but he knows all the best places around town to see animals Whether they’re stray cats, dogs in pet shops, or pigeons in parks, he has an innate knowledge of where to go to find animals.

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

Todoroki loves baking with you. Cooking not so much but if you ask him to join you in the kitchen making a fresh batch of cookies, he’s grabbing an apron and getting out all the ingredients you need.

Another one who loves crime podcasts! He would love to listen to the same podcast as you throughout the day and then talk about it that night.

I think Todoroki is impartial to horror movies. He’ll watch them and enjoy them but it’s not something he’ll seek out.

Surprisingly good at not getting freaked out while watching them. If anything, he’s more likely to fall asleep during a horror movie than jump off the couch at every jumpscare.

Much like Chuuya, Todoroki is not great with emotions so he knows how you feel most of the time. He’s not good at faking emotions though so any emotions he does express are genuine.

Secretly loves your sarcasm and cynical nature. He thinks it balances out your friendliness nicely. It makes you more interesting.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #bungo stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #my hero academia #shoto todoroki

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numbknee · 2 years ago

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QUICK TELL ME UR HCS FOR CARTMAN AND/OR KYLE

UHHHH OK!

i've made some other hc posts before (here, here, and here) and also a post arguing why I think cartman's not a dom here lol. but here's a few more I guess??

kyle is slightly shorter than cartman throughout their childhood, maybe like an inch or inch and a half. when they get to middle school cartman hits puberty first and ends up taller than the other main 4 boys for like 2 months and he teases the FUCK out of all of them, calling them midgets or munchkins and being obnoxious as hell about it. but then one by one they all shoot up like bamboo and cartman ends up being the shortest out of all of them and it makes him VERY pissed off lmao

in fact he gets pissed enough for him to pull some scheme where he tries to surreptitiously wear stilts to school under his pants (which actually works for a while but then fails miserably cuz he isn't able to keep balance, falls over like an idiot, and exposes himself) or even trying to get that surgery where your legs get broken in several places and lengthened a few inches with metal screws (yes this is a real thing here's an article about it lol). ultimately I'd say as a full grown adult cartman ends up being like 5'7" or 5'8". he still tries to wear shoes with height inserts tho

kyle is the tallest out of the boys, like maybe hitting 6'1" or 6'2" by the end of high school, because I hc he's at least tall enough to dunk a basketball and that's around how tall you have to be to do that (at least according to google I don't play basketball myself)

speaking of puberty related stuff kyle ends up being a pretty hairy dude. like he can easily grow a full beard by the time he's 19 and has to shave pretty frequently to keep the stubble away. he tries to maintain the clean-shaven look for a while but halfway through college he gives up cuz it's too much work and he lets it grow out thinking he'll hate it but is too tired to care. but then he finds he actually likes how it looks on him and gets complimented on it a lot so he ends up keeping the beard pretty much the rest of his life. he also has a decent amount of chest hair, like maybe not quite as much as his dad but he's still got his genes lol

cartman on the other hand has pretty patchy facial hair so he can never really manage to grow a full beard, like maybe some stubble at best. (although I guess this isn't really a hc if you look at their post-covid designs? lol but i digress)

I think I stole this hc from someone but kyle's parents initially had some fertility issues when they were trying to have kids (like sheila had undiagnosed PCOS or something similar) so when sheila got pregnant with kyle they were both surprised and relieved. after kyle was born though they didn't want to go through the hoops and costs of fertility treatment again which is why they decided to adopt for their second kid

i wrote this in the tags somewhere on a previous post but cartman has a surprisingly nice singing voice esp as he gets older, at least when he's not trying to be obnoxious. he's a tenor with a kind of raspy, gruff quality to his voice. think like tom waits with a slightly higher range. he's got good vocal control and hella pipes so he can belt out crazy high notes that blow your panties clean off lmao. he sings for kyle at their wedding and kyle is genuinely touched and impressed. down the line he often asks cartman to be the one who sings lullabies for their kids cuz he likes listening to him too. of course cartman uses his powers for evil as well and often sings loud and obnoxious when he's cooking or in the car while driving just to piss kyle off when he's trying to concentrate on something. when their kids get old enough they join in too and kyle is LIVID

cartman's always gonna be a chunky dude but kyle does convince him to work out occasionally after they start dating. of course cartman doesn't go for the classic "it's good for you" schtick because he's heard it before a million times and doesn't give two shits. but what finally gets him to do it is that kyle casually mentions "y'know if you exercise and build up some muscle and stamina, you'll get a lot less tired during sex and be able to go for longer. also we can go together and you can ogle me in public as much as you want". needless to say cartman immediately goes out and buys a gym membership lol. also cartman finds out he really likes those fuckin jazzercise/zoomba classes cuz he can dance around like an idiot with no judgment. and he enjoys causing unnecessary drama by talking shit with the gym moms behind each others' backs

i'm sure I have more floating around in my brain but oh god this post is getting long so imma stop ahahaha 😅

#ask #blehbiez #my post

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a-s-levynn · 1 year ago

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HAI!!! :3 I have some pals that are into Sleep Token 'n I am interested!! What songs do you suggest from them?/what are your fav Sleep Token songs?

I'm so sorry if you sent this some time ago, using tumblr on three devices eats my inbox notifications at times and i just found yours and an other ask i haven't seen since monday😫

Also sorry it got long but i'd figure it would be fun to explain why i'd go at it this way.

The short answer: basically anywhere but pay attention to the lyrics because that is what sucks you in even more.

But to properly answer your question.. every single person you'd ask would give you a slightly different list for sure based on various reasons. I'm gonna break down why i'd do it like this. Also what i'd suggest to start with and what are my faves vary a bit. And also what i'd recommend based on someone's taste in music can alter what i'd show first to them but.. in general i'd go something like this (true and tested method [lies only tried once but it worked surprisingly well]).

I'd definitely start with the easily digestable tracks soundwise. The more groovy and vibey stuff that can be enjoyable without paying too much attention to the lyrics. It adds to it of course but nit neccessary.

Aqua Regia, Alkaline, Granite, Rain, Hypnosis, The Apparition and The Offering

At the end of Hypnosis there are a bit of harsher vocals which is a nice teeny tiny introduction to that sides of theirs, but not too much. And The Offering is a great one to show off both the softer vocals but disgustingly catchy instrumentals, also that is probably one of their most iconic songs.

Most people are turned away because of the style of singing Vessel does most of the time, with all the bends and runs and high notes. Also the constrictions, bordering on whines sometimes and also heavily breathy vocals. Occasional crying. There is a lot of emotions on display, of which if you vibe with can hit pretty hard. It's neither genre typical nor used as a usually commercialized singing technique in general. I'm not saying it's oooh so unique, others do it as well, but it's definitely not the type you hear from every other song on the radio. The other part can be the unusual arrengments in songs and the collecting genres like pokemons. So these up here are more on the easier side with that.

I'd probably add in Euclid as well to these just to showcase the more pop influenced side but still having proper guitars in it and stuff. Also that track is great to show how dynamic their music can be without any screamy jumpscare.

Than i'd say look at the slower sad stuff because it's trademark for them, also still on the commonly enjoyable side in regards of sound. And this would be the point i'd say start to pay attention to the lyrics properly because that is half the appeal of Sleep Token.

Blood Sport (from the room below), Missing Limbs and Atlantic are great examples.

And after those i'd go with some of the heavy hitters (also the ones with a bit more harsh vocals) like The Summoning, Ascensionism, Take Me Back To Eden and Vore.

And then if you are still interested at this point i'd recommend just putting on the entire This Place Will Become Your Tomb album. There are basically next to none harsh vocal surprises but there are heavier instrumentals at certain points. And it is such a contained experience, regardless of it being a middle part of a trilogy.

If you get through the album and still feel like you want more, than it really is just up to you which tracks do you want to dip your toes in next, because you seen most of what they can offer but still going to ran into new and fresh stuff. Their discography is a bag of nicknacks and all of them are preciois for different resons. TMBTE (their last album) is a higher quality production and caters more to the general audiences soundwise, i think. Sundowning (first album) is more raw but no less enjoyable. Also the certified 'sexy song' (Sugar) is on that one. The EPs and covers, i'd recommend last probably, not because they are not good, on the contrary but they are a bit more niche, bit more restrained in soundscape and a bit more soulful but they are heavy hitters emotionally for sure.

One might argue i left out the singles and the first album but here is the thing. The production quality goues up significantly on each album. For a listener who doesn't come for the lyrics first but the sound, Dark signs and Jaws or Jerico may be less captivating than let's say Granite, for a first time listener. Of course it is highly dependent on the given person but i'm talking in general.

And to answer a 'what are my favourites' part of the question, my all time favourite track of theirs is Higher by all means. The rest is in an ebb and flow depending on my mood but The Offering, Descending, Like That and Gods are always up there for me.

Have a wonderful day every day!

🫶🏻

#levynn answers #anon <3

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everestica · 2 years ago

Note

hi can i request scenario of akito falling in love with an’s best friend and them getting together thanks to an? (fem!reader) thank you<3

Akito x An’s Bsf!Reader

Writing Type: Headcannons

Request: Yes

Author’s Note: Thank you for being my first request! I hope you enjoy it!<3

(OMG I didn’t realize that this had gotten so long lol, sorry about that! Ps. I really loved this idea so much I think that’s why its so long<3)

Alright so at first when you had joined Kamiyama High School you were in the same class as An, and y’all immediately hit it off and within the first couple days you guys became best friends

Now being friends with An meant you have probably met Haruka and Kohane as well and they all talk about their bands and what they are working on

But little do they know your also in a band called “Heartbreak” You’re their main vocalist and your very well know for your amazing voice

One day An, Kohane, Haurka and yourself were all talking after school before Kohane and An had to head to practice

So you are Haruka spoke for a little longer before you had to go to your practice as well

There was an upcoming event that your band was signed up for, surprisingly it was the same one that Kohane and An were also attending

They were talking about the bands that they would have to compete against and your band happen to make it to the top of list of bands that they were worried about, as they had heard about the amazing voice of the lead singer

Now at the time of the competition Vivid Bad Squad was the first group to go onstage so you saw them perform their very well know song “Ready Steady”

About 2 bands after your band were heading on stage, and as soon as you got onstage you saw all Kohnane , An, and 2 unknown guys, one with orange hair and a yellow streak, and one with two toned blue hair on his right.

After you guys had set up everything you started to sing to song that y'all had been practicing for days “Broken Heart” (It's just a random name I made up lol)

But as soon as you started singing everybody in the crowd looked at you with their jaws dropped

“Wow That girl is amazing”

“No kidding”

“If there goal is to also surpass RAD WEEKEND, with her voice they are definitely on the right track”

As you guys finished the song you waved goodbye to the crowd and walked to the other side of backstage

On the other side of the backstage you were met with a Overly excited An and the guy with orange hair with an impressed look on his face

“Wowww That was amazing Y/n!!” An said running up to hug you

“She's Not kidding though” The guy with orange hair started “That was pretty impressive”

After speaking to them you found out that the guys name was Akito Shinonome and the blue haired guy was named Toya Aoyagi

You then realized that Akito and Toya also went to school with you and An, as you had seen them talking to her in the halls and at lunch sometimes

Soon after the competition concluded and another team had won

So you went home and that was then end of that day, but the next day at school An had met you outside school and said that after school Vivid Bad Squad was having a practice and that they wanted you to attend it

You of course said sure and after school you had followed An, Akito, and Toya down to “Weekend Garage”

As soon as you got there you were greeted by An’s dad and Kohane who had showed up a couple minutes earlier then you guys

You took a seat at the table closest to the stage as they started to get their stuff prepared

After they were all ready they started to warm up and during the warm up Kohane had walked over to you and was asking you how you warm up, and what you would recommend for certain notes in songs to warm that up in her voice

But during your discussion with Kohane you didn’t realize that a certain gingers eyes were on you the whole time

“You like her don’t you” An says sliding over towards him

“W-What No way” Akito replies quickly snapping his head in the other direction

“As if” An continues “You only look at Pancakes and Cheesecake like that”

“No I don’t” Akito spits hastily

But An was 100% Correct, but he would never let her know that, having a crush on her best friend he would rather die than let her know that

But as Akito looked back at you he realized so much about you, the warm smile you had, the nice laugh, your killer style, your great personality and not to mention you're an amazing singer and are happy to help everybody around you.

After practice was over and everything was put away you all started to walk home together, but Akito slowed down when you guys where walking, and noticing this you slowed down too

“Hey Akito, you okay?” you said looking at him worriedly

“Uh- Yeah” He said not daring to make eye contact with you

“alright , well if you uh need anything don’t be afraid to ask!” You flashed a smile at him and then started to walk to catch up with the rest of the group

He grabbed your arm before you could get to far away and he engulfed you in a hug

He then realized what he had done and quickly let go of you

“S-sorry” he said “But there was one thing I wanted to ask you”

“What’s up?” you questioned

“Would you uh maybe like to go to a café with me sometime tomorrow seeing as it's the weekend..” He asked just starting to look you in the eye

“I would love too Akito!” You said with another one of your “cute smiles” as Akito calls them

“Great then uh I will text you the details then.” He said with a slight blush on his face now

“For sure!” You finished.

“Oh shoot” you said now looking at your phone

“I’m really sorry but I have to head home” You said

“Bye Akito!” you said waving and running off towards your house

“Bye Y/n!” he said waving back at you

As soon as you were out of eyesight he did a huge fist pump and quickly pulled out his phone to text Toya

He smiled his whole way home thinking about what you guys would do on your café date tomorrow!<3

#akito shinonome #akito shinonome fluff #akito shinonome x reader #project sekai #project sekai x reader

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miekasa · 4 years ago

Text

positions

+ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader

+ genres and warnings: modern au, explicit smut (18+ only), eren is annoying but he’s also hot so it makes up for it i guess 🙄

+ word count: 3k

+ notes: i don’t want to talk about this actually, so if you see it, no you didn’t </2 i kind of got carried away with number three. sorry.

+ summary: eren just likes it with you—will take you however you want him to; but he does have a few favorite positions.

i. missionary — (i’m trying to meet your mama on a sunday, then make a lotta love on a monday).

Eren always did like looking at you. He thinks you’re gorgeous, sexy, and so, so, pretty; all the time, but especially like this.

Because there isn’t anything he likes more than watching you squirm because of him; breath unsteady and voice whiny because of him.

“You’re so pretty, aren’t you?” Eren asks, but question is rhetorical; and you’re barely coherent enough to answer him—like he’s fucked you stupid.

“Course you are,” he answers for you, reaching his right hand up to slip his pointer and middle finger past your lips.

You moan around him, warm, wet heat compassing his digits as you let Eren’s fingers fuck your mouth in sync with him thrust into your pussy. It’s only when he feels your spit pooling on your tongue that he pulls them out, immediately using the soaked fingers to further abuse your sensitive clit.

“My pretty, pretty girl,” Eren sings, tapping at your clit in sync with his repeated words.

Eren smirks through his pants as he drinks in your fucked-out state. He likes the way your eyes are screwed shut, high-pitched moans barely squeaking out as you grip at the sheets. Your back arches when he snaps his hips harder, deeper, and—oh, no, that won’t do.

“No, no, baby be good,” he coos, reaching his hand to press over your tummy and flatten your back to the mattress.

“Eren, please,” you barely choke out, head writhing against the pillow, “Just wanna come, please.”

“Just wanna come?” he repeats, but his tone is taunting, almost fiendish at this point, “‘M not stopping you baby, all you have to do is be good for me.”

“I am good,” you insist, words rushed, desperate, “I’m good for you—your good girl, Eren.”

Eren hums at your words, and bends his knee onto the bed, groaning after you as he hits a spot deeper inside of you. He moves his left hand off of your stomach to support himself on the mattress, and reaches his right hand up, crawling up the column of your throat.

He pinches his pointer finger and thumb at your jaw, leaning down until the tip of his nose brushes against yours, “Open.”

He barely waits until there’s a gap between your lips before he pries your mouth open himself with his thumb, the pad of his finger pushing against your tongue. He flashes you a sadistic smirk before spitting into your mouth, the tip of his tongue grazing against yours before retreating back into his mouth, “Swallow.”

Your breath is unsteady as your do as you’re told, opening your mouth again to show him just how good you listened; how good you are. A smile washes over his face for a second before he leans forward to kiss you—the kind of kiss he gives before he’s about to fuck you silly, “Good girl.”

ii. against the wall — (cookin’ in the kitchen, and i’m in the bedroom)

Eren isn’t a good cook and he knows it. He’s not terrible—he won’t starve if he ever lived on his own, but he’s no master chef.

It’s probably why he likes watching you cook so much. He would say he likes to help, too, but that would be a lie; he just likes being your taste tester, and distracting you a little bit while he’s at it.

“Did you set the oven to 400?” you ask him, back turned as you pick a wooden spoon from the drawer and bring it to the bowl.

Eren hums, eyes flickering to the oven to ensure that he did, indeed, set it to the right temperature, before taking the few steps necessary to close the distance between you two. Slowly, he wraps his arms around your waist, lightly draping his body over yours as he watches you stir the batter.

“Smells like lemons,” he notes, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Probably because we’re making lemon cake,” you chuckle, bringing your stirring to a stop.

You dip your pointer finger carefully into the batter before bringing it to your lips. You crinkle your nose a bit, before dipping you finger back into the batter, this time hovering it in front of Eren’s lips, “Here, taste. Do you think it needs more sugar? Or maybe vanilla?”

Eren’s gazes flicks from your batter-coated finger, then to your eyes, like a magnet; green growing cloudy with arousal. Carefully, slowly, he pushes forward until his lips wrap around your finger, teeth grazing your digit when he pulls back.

“No,” he answers, voice raspy, “It’s perfect.”

“You sure?” you question, words genuine and innocent; oblivious to the angle he’s playing at.

Eren unwraps his arms from your waist, steps back far enough to allow him to spin you around, you lower back pressed into the counter, and eyes wide. He smiles, reaches his hand into the bowl, but instead of waiting for you to taste it, he brushes it against your mouth, before forcing his finger past your lips, just far enough to clean the remaining batter against your tongue.

“Positive,” Eren says, before bruising his lips against yours in a kiss. Quickly, his tongue flashes to swipe against your bottom lip, bringing sticky, sweet cake batter into your mouth.

Then, he lifts you, skillfully moving the bowl aside to make room for you on the counter; knocking over measuring cups and utensils in his path that are sure to leave a mess, but right now you don’t care. Eren always did like things messy, after all.

Eren’s hands paw at the hem of your shirt, clumsily pulling it over your head. He hisses when you tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him back down into a searing kiss, and biting at his lower lip in revenge.

A yelp of surprise leaves yours lips as he grips under your thighs and picks you up from the counter. Eren groans when your tangle your hands into his hair, using it as both leverage and support.

“Fuck,” he mutters when you accidentally press yourself against his bulge in an attempt to tighten your legs around his waist. You pull away slightly, breath tickling his face as your eyes jump from his to his lips.

Carefully you comb your fingers through his hair again, elbows resting on his shoulders as you catch your breath.

“Question,” you pose, breathing heavily through your syllables, “How long do you think you can hold me up for?”

“Like this? A while, probably.” Eren replies moving his hands up from under your thighs to your ass.

“But like this,” Eren takes a few steps forwards until your back is pushing against the wall. He smirks when he sees the small gape at your mouth, and squeezes at your ass to exaggerate your expression, before leaning into to whisper in your ear, “A whole lot longer.”

iii. double date — (this some shit that I usually don’t do, but for you I kinda want to)

Armin’s fingers are, surprisingly, rough. More calloused than you would think; for the rest of him is all soft edges and round features; all smooth and nice and kind and good.

But, not like this. The Armin whose eyes gaze up at you from your legs is hardly anything like that. He’s not the Armin you know; this one is teasing, relentless, almost manic; he’s mean and he knows it.

You can see it in his eyes, that the Armin you know and love is nowhere in sight. Because when Eren pushes his finger inside of you next to Armin’s, you swear those clear, blue eyes that are usually so bright become icy with intent.

“She’s so pretty, Eren,” Armin says to his friend, but his gaze is on you as he twists his finger inside, knuckles bumping against Eren’s. You throw your head back with a grunted moan, and barely have the strength to hold it up again to see Armin’s smirk, “So pretty.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Eren coos, green eyes smiling at you.

It’s almost too much, the both of them looking at you from between your legs. You’re not sure which one to focus on—if you have the strength to meet either of their gazes for more an a second before screwing your eyes shut, overwhelmed by it. The attention, the feeling, the shared lust is all too much.

“Armin, hold on, let me—” Eren grunts, twisting his finger inside of you, so that it intertwines with Armin’s, “There we go.”

The sensation drives you crazy, the feeling of their fingers brushing against each other—brushing against your walls makes your head spin, and you curl your own fingers into a ball at your sides. It’s only two fingers—but it feels foreign, new, too much; it makes you thrash, they way they pump their digits inside of you, perfectly in sync, perfectly full every time.

It’s new to you, but Eren and Armin have always been best friends; it’s not abnormal for them to share. And they do it so well.

“Eren, Armin, I—” you call, almost wail at you feel someone’s fingertips brush past your weak spot, “Please.”

Your hips rise as you groan with the feeling, and as if rehearsed, the both of their free hands are quick to snap you back against the mattress. When you look down at them, Eren has a dirty look in his eyes, but Armin’s is dirtier—as if you let you know that that he did that; that he planned it, too.

“Don’t be rude,” Eren tuts, “Armin’s being so nice to you, so be good for him. Be good for us.”

You almost want to cry—if this is his nice, you’ve severely underestimated the Armin Arlert you know.

“You wanna come, yeah?” Armin asks you, with a tone so light and genuine, you would never think he’s capable of anything he’s currently doing.

You nod your head embarrassingly quickly, a stuttered moan slipping out as both boys tighten their told on each other’s fingers; and Armin smirks with glassy eyes before lowering his head closer to your center, “Don’t worry, I’ll let you.”

Armin’s eyes flicker to Eren’s only for a moment, a ghost of a nod shared before the two boys before Armin’s tongue is flat against your slit. You hiss, incoherent moans escaping your throat; Armin is merciless, licking, and sucking until it hurts to breathe.

Your eyes flutter shut when Armin pushes the tip of his tongue against your clit, both his and Eren’s fingers slowing in time with his movement, before speeding up just as he sucks at the bud again. Eren bites a kiss into your thigh, hand squeezing at your hips again.

“I said be good,” he reminds you, sucking at your skin again with warning, “Look at him.”

You don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse, that the second you make eye contact with the blonde again, he sucks on your clit; not ceasing his actions until you come with hot, white flashes resonating through your body.

You can hear them laugh at your collapse, Eren gently kissing your shaking thigh as your body goes limp. Eren shimmies his body up slightly, pulling both his and Armin’s fingers from your pussy and guiding them to your lips.

“Taste,” is his simple command, ordering you to open your mouth wide enough to take both of their fingers.

Eren hums through a laugh, before turning his head to Armin. He takes his fingers out of your mouth, brings his hand to the back of his friend’s head, grabbing tufts of blonde hair in his grip, and angling his head for a perfect kiss, “Share.”

You can barely register their mouths moving together, lewd sounds and flashes of tongue in their kissing, before your head falls back against your pillow again. They’ll be the end of you someday, you’re certain of it.

Your reaction makes Armin chuckle—almost innocently, but you know now you’ve been using that word far too liberally with him. He crawls up to lay next you, gently cradling your cheek with one hand to pull your face to his.

“Good right?” he asks gently, a light kiss placed on your bruised lips.

“Hm,” you can just barely nod, eyes flickering to stay open, “Eren was right.”

Eren finds himself at your other side, pressing feather-light kisses into your neck and jaw, “Told you so, baby.”

“Eren would know,” Armin smiles, and those blue eyes are coated with a layer of mischief once again, “He speaks from personal experience, after all.”

iv. the throne — (you’re down for me, and i’m down, too)

“You have to be careful,” you warn him, “It won’t be very sexy if I fall over into the tub.”

Eren hums, with the intonation that tells you he heard you, but he’s not really listening. He peppers kisses along your thigh, hands greedy; grabbing and pinching at your skin. He uses one hand to pry your legs open wider; one knee bent, foot resting against the side of your bathtub, while the other is grounded against the tiles, and Eren on his knees below you.

You don’t know why this is a fantasy of his—and why he wants to do it now, in the bathroom of all places, but you admit you give into him more than you should.

He wraps his forearms under your thighs, reaching so that the palm of his hands pull at your skin; and pull you closer to his face. Nervous, you grip at the sink for extra support.

Eren smirks below you, peppering an apologetic kiss dangerously close to your center. You growl, using your free hand to grab at his hair, crane his neck back to make him look at you.

“Eren, listen to me,” you tell him. He knows your voice has annoyance laced in it, but it’s also heavy with authority, and makes blood rush to his pants.

Raised eyebrows lower slowly, his pupils wide and blown out at your sudden command; before his surprise morphs into lust. “Of course, baby,” he concedes, licking at your clit too quickly, “Tell me what you want. I’ll listen.”

You squint with disbelief. Nothing is ever that straightforward with Eren; even when he’s on his knees about to give, he’s asking something of you, too. Nevertheless, you loosen your hold on his hair in favor of cradling his head more gently.

“Just,” you start, a shaky breath escaping through your words when Eren’s tongue prods at your clit, “Just make sure I don’t fall.”

Eren hums, vibrations resonating throughout your body, a hissed curse slipping past your lips. “Of course,” he repeats, “I wouldn’t want to hurt my baby.”

You nod, breath growing increasing unsteady when Eren circles your clit with his tongue. He gets greedy, alternating between licking, and kissing, and sucking; and relishing in your body growing heavy in his hands.

“Though,” he says, words spoken muffled against your sensitive skin, but those green eyes are bright and bold when they look at you, “If you’re afraid of falling, you could always sit on my face instead.”

v. love on top — (my love’s infinite, nothing I wouldn’t do, won’t do, for you)

You’re pretty like this, too. Pretty all the time—but if there’s one thing Eren likes more than you under him, it’s you on top of him.

“You’re so hot like this,” he says, voice thick with lust, as he reaches out to rest his hands against your hips.

Eren likes the way you bounce on top of him, thighs shaking against his. He’s surprised when you move your hands to take his off of you—quick to question your motives, before you lace your hands with his, a weak, but sweet smile when your fingers are intertwined.

He smiles back, using your connected hands to pull you forward, elbows bent, the back of his hands plush against the sheets, while your palms hold them down. You’re bent over now, tummy pressed against his, and Eren can feel you breathing into the crook of his neck.

He bends his knee to give him some leverage, adding his own thrusts while you desperately bounce back on his cock.

“B—babe… ‘M gonna come,” he moans, and it’s not long before he’s cumming inside of you. He unlaces one of his hands from yours, using it to rest against the small of your back as you shake through your own orgasm, open mouthed kisses pressed into his collar.

You lay like that for a bit, before Eren pulls out. He has to move you off of him to throw away the condom; but is quick to find his way back to the bed, rolling onto the mattress unceremoniously. He lays facing you, and reaches a hand out, palm open and waiting.

You roll your eyes, but lazily meet him halfway as he daps you up; a stupid smile on his face. He shuffles onto his back, and pulls you on top of him, this time using both hands to wrap around your waist.

“That was so hot,” he muses, love-drunk on you and tracing random patterns into your skin, “You should—should do that more often.”

You curl your hands up to circle his head, lazy fingers playing with his hair, as you nuzzle your head into his chest, eyes fluttering shut, as sleep takes over your body, “Maybe.”

(Definitely).

#aot x reader #snk x reader #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #eren smut #eren fluff #levi x reader

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

Text

SuperM Fluff & NSFW Notes

↳ 🌹aka some of their romantic antics plus random 18+ imagines 👋

warnings ⚠️ rated (super) m, boyfriends hc, porn mentions, partial fem!reader, sex toys

FLUFF

since baekhyun knows how to make scented candles, he creates one for you as a birthday present with your favorite fragrances.

every entry in mark’s diary involves fond thoughts about you.

taemin kisses you more than his cat kkoongie on a daily basis so let that sink in. his smooch obsession is getting out of hand.

lucas, having giant fingers after all, learns how to knit in order to make you a warm scarf. he’s still a bit clumsy with it and had to call kun for advice, but the result is surprisingly proper and quickly becomes your favorite item. it’s a little huge but well, he thinks in his dimensions. lucas’ next project is a beanie.

ten overwhelms you with pet names. in fact, he seemingly seems to come up with a new one each day.

kai is a candlelight dinner, rose petals and music kinda guy. he does every old-school thing in the book.

taeyong can cuddle endlessly in bed. he just doesn’t wanna leave.

lucas gladly shares his sweaters. they’re ginormous so, perfect cuddle material.

baekhyun is already a fool. so — when he falls in love, he becomes an even bigger fool. or, the contrary happens: he becomes dead silent around his partner because he’s so enthralled. he can take this more seriously than you think.

mark likes to write little cards and many many texts to express his love.

lucas is the type who can help you put on your jeans when they were shrinking a bit too much in the dryer. he’s pretty sexy like that and things can get really touchy.

cheesy fucking kai, and there’s only one guy who would do this, has actually lowered himself over a puddle once so you would have a bridge. brushed it off like a daily workout rep.

not one shower missed without baekhyun joining you. yes, it’s not always sexy time, he likes it when you shampoo his hair and whisper sweet nothings. and obviously: it’ll all devolve to a laughing fit.

taeyong is the type who wants to be proposed to.

taemin will get a motorcycle license and take you for a frequent ride. he loves getting those kind of back hugs.

both ten and lucas are great at making bracelets. wayv’s dorm is fully equipped with charms, strings, and pearls, so expect matching ones for you.

we’ve seen it, that one’s his favorite move. kai wraps his hand around your shoulder when you walk together.

mark will ALWAYS share his melon.

making you swoon on a DVD evening is lucas’ favorite hobby. he will buy you the most sugary-sweet romance movies. he will often browse streaming sites to select the latest sentimental plots. all these dramas seem to have a male lead who is suspiciously tall and lanky.

if you allow him, taeyong customizes your white tees with his cute drawings.

since taemin swims in money thanks to his profession as the god of kpop (yes, this is a registered job name because i say so), he can fulfill you any wish. he’s stingy and pouty when the shinee hyungs can pay, and the motherfucker baekhyun is even richer since his albums have been taking off so he opens his mochi wallet when superm is gathered, but you... are a different case. taemin will humbly empty his entire pockets when he overhears you gushing over something. there’s a voice in his mind going: must splurge!!

mark loves christmas, you establish an annual tradition to stage a whole couple evening.

baekhyun likes to play charades and especially do karaoke with you. he’s always cutely wiggling his butt and dances like a drunk uncle. he hits the high notes anyway and makes sure you score 100 points.

taeyong can make out with you while at the same time making sure that the milk doesn’t get burned on the stove. kiss’n’stirr multitask tyong alert. gotta make sure the cocoa is served in time, you know.

all the members enjoy playing board games. yep, imagine the fun and sheer chaos.

lucas has the funniest laugh ever indeed. he’ll react to all your jokes, no matter how lame they might be. intensely reassuring.

taemin’s hand is basically glued to yours.

taeyong and mark are the kinds of boyfriends that spoil their partner with skincare. fancy a nice face massage with a nice fragrant oil?

baekhyun has been baking heart-shaped pizzas ever since you started dating. he just can’t make them round anymore.

mark will join you on anything you’re currently bingewatching.

kai sometimes — only half-jokingly — goes down on both knees bowing forward with his hands on the ground just to show how much he wants to thank you. in case you didn’t notice: this guy treats you like a deity.

ten usually gets confused glances from the other members whenever he gets the current date wrong: he simply loses track of time with you.

lucas makes a habit of buying you flowers every other week. but on unpredictable occasions, and he arranges them in places you’d never expect.

taemin will build you a weird-looking snowman to make you laugh, and give it an even stranger name. ten will build one that looks like you. kai doesn’t build snowmen, he just stands there challenging you to throw snow balls at him.

mark will hang out with you at the beach constantly bringing his guitar. he’ll serenade you all the time.

returning from three months of touring, baekhyun has once climbed your balcony when your parents were in the other room. yep, he was that desperate to see you. somebody give this man a rope and helmet.

taeyong writes down heartfelt confessions on 365 folded slips of paper so you can open one every day. your reactions will range from ‘awwh!’ to straight-up tears.

ten does regular couple yoga with you. a mildly challenging form, not the circus acrobat version. he’ll do the difficult parts anyway. you can pretzel this guy up, he’ll do anything to make you laugh.

when it rains you hook your arm around his, and lucas always holds the umbrella. even the wildest gush of wind can’t make it turn inside out. you arrive home entirely dry. xuxi is so cute, he’s also a great source of cooling shadow in the summer without even trying.

taemin’s skinship overdrive doesn’t stop with endless hand-holding, back hugs and kisses. he wants to lay down in your lap whenever he can. he looks damn pretty with his hair splaying there. if you work on your laptop, you can pretty much count to ten and he’s already nestled there.

kai does pushups with you on his back. it’s a staple. each time he does one, he says ‘i love you’. he increases his count every day.

NSFW

it’s no secret that taeyong is great at acting or pulling off any outfit and costume. expect roleplay of the finest kind — literally. he looks good in a firefighter uniform. you’ll be burning up pretty much automatically.

taemin can’t keep his tongue in. it’s terrible. he’s always in the mood for head. his sloppy noises are the absolute worst, it turns you on way too fast.

lucas had some major problems finding condoms that fit him.

ten and taemin are so switchy, they have an unresolved power struggle going on. begs for a dominant third party to help them out.

kai owns expensive latex gear.

baekhyun may be the king of vocals and breath technique, but if you push him far enough he does get hoarse.

taemin often jokes how kai will one day break his dick from fucking too hard.

meanwhile, mark’s dick is already falling off – from fucking too often. this guy has some major hormones going for him. no surprise, a guy who can promote in four kpop groups at the same time is a stamina king.

taeyong likes eating pussy with another party involved. three’s a crowd my friend. sometimes it’s taemin who unleashes his spit waterfall power, sometimes it’s baekhyun who preoccupies himself with nibbling at the inner thigh while taeyong digs in.

taemin owns the most underwear.

mark takes valerian drops because he is so nervous in bed. it never really goes away, it’s his nature.

taeyong keeps a lube collection. a different flavor for all occasions. he likes associating certain scents with specific body parts.

kai has a heels kink. he literally goes wild over it.

taemin likes to have sex with favorite glasses on.

taeyong and kai are the most likely to cry during sex. baekhyun as well if you rough him up enough.

mark gets rock hard the fastest, followed by kai. he’s a grower.

taeyong gets the best inspiration for a song when he gets a casual dick riding.

taemin watches extremely x-rated erotic thrillers and bdsm flicks that are heavy on the plot. he gets more invested in the characters and actors than you think. since his japanese is amazing? of course he also owns a giant 90s hentai collection.

when he’s jerking off, baekhyun chokes himself. a) because he’d make too much noise otherwise and b) because asphyxiation is his favorite thing.

kai feels pleasure in his every cell. he cums the hardest. and, as you can expect, his body expresses it the most extremely, accurately, passionately. if you’ve seen it even once, you’ll never look at him the same again.

taemin has less experience than his discography claims, but more than you’d think. he researches sexual techniques as well. you can brace yourself.

mark has not just a tiger inside, but a freak inside, waiting to be unleashed.

sex while gaming is a go-to activity for baekhyun.

lucas has the best stamina when it comes to getting head.

taemin throws his head back during sex. and no, he doesn’t T-pose. i’m kidding — of course he does. but only when he’s on his back.

taeyong tends to grip a pillow when he cums.

or he humps one when he’s by himself.

ten has the best taste in sexy time playlists.

baekhyun has the best taste in singing his own playlist along.

oh, the things kai has bought at a gas station at 3AM.

baekhyun sucks strap the best. he can open his mouth the widest, drools a lot, and makes the best noises unsurprisingly.

how to turn on lee taemin? he likes getting slapped.

since he’s the most avid and most diverse eater, lucas’ sperm tastes the best. he’s shove 50 fruits into his system just to give you a sweet experience.

mark is absolutely a starfish.

kai wears fishnet tops if you fancy it.

curiously, baekhyun out of all people doesn’t announce when he’s cumming. you’ll hear it, though.

taeyong’s dildo collection is one for the books.

taemin has visited a pro dominatrix a couple times. needless to say, he was the #1 favorite client at the dungeon. having fully submerged into a fantasy world, taemin was one whip crack away from falling in love with the mistress. but then covid happened and the venue closed.

mark’s dick looks really pretty.

taemin can grind on the strap at every humanly possible angle. he’s almost always ready to take it. he carries a prep kit.

kai — that fucker — knows how to make you wet the most with his bare hands. prepare for the thigh ride of your life, too.

taeyong, baekhyun, and taemin have the best arches. kai is coming for the top three as well. ten’s arch is so good, it can’t be considered one anymore.

baekhyun knows every adult movie out there. theoretically, nothing can shock him. in reality, he melts in your hands.

taeyong is so sexually active with you, he has quit eating garlic.

kai will exploit your muscle kink in any way he can.

taemin, being a devil, has that one button on his phone that he can press when you go out for dinner. he’s OBSESSED with getting you off. once you head home, it’s basically running down your thighs.

ten has once opened a condom with scissors to scare away a date that grew weird on him by the time it got to the do.

lucas is too tall for doing missionary normally.

this will surprise nobody: mark is great at constantly keeping up the dirty talk.

baekhyun’s car is sort of like a brothel on wheels. he can’t count how many times he got down and dirty in there. he cleans it all up by himself.

kai can technically grip you the hardest but he’s the gentlest and great at caressing the whole body.

taemin has the easiest time saying what precisely he wants. he is also the best people reader — most your wishes he can pretty intuit. taemin observes your interests well.

ten likes his hair pulled and makes angelic noises when you do so.

baekhyun likes camgirls and erotic chats with strangers online. he spends a lot of money for nsfw internet encounters.

607 notes · View notes

xxxrubytuesdayxxx · 3 years ago

Text

“What are you doing in my bed?”

Hongjoong x Reader

Genre: Fluffy angst and a bit of smut towards the end

Word Count: 7,294

Concept: Kim Hongjoong doesn’t want to be a virgin anymore and he’s determined to get his way, even if it involves sneaking into your bedroom between tasks.

Credits to a few prompt-lists I found trawling the internet, but I lost the links, I’m sorry :( If you recognise any, please let me know and I will do proper credits x

Masterlist

“This was a terrible, terrible idea,” you think to yourself, as you survey the ‘damage’ in the dorm. Oh there’s nothing wrong with the state of the rooms - it’s the state of the boys themselves. Because of course what the company set up as a cooking and eating game for a V Live descended into a drinking game the minute the main staff left. Yet it’s actually surprisingly easy to chase the younger ones off to bed. Which just leaves the eldest two: long-legged, sweet but slightly tipsy Seonghwa and their petite, treacherously-pretty but definitely-plastered leader Hong-Joong. Sizing up the levels of intoxication and seniority, You decide to tackle the slightly younger leader first.

“Bed, Hong-Joong!” you attempt, mustering up what you hope is a convincing ‘eomma’ vibe. Apparently you’re not very convincing though because he just squeals and bats you away.

“Ani! I’m leader! No bed!” he objects. “Anyway, I’m want to annoy Seonghwa first,” he announces, in endearingly grammatically-incorrect English, complete with a mischievous smile, before darting out of your reach and perching himself on the arm of the couch to watch his hyung record a ‘cute’ wake-up message for ATINY.

“I will show you the cute version,” Seonghwa tells his leader dutifully, cue card in hand, before turning towards the one waiting camera.

“Ani, I don’t want to see!!” wails Hong-Joong dramatically, collapsing off the arm of the couch onto the seat itself in apparent agony, with his eyes squeezed shut. “Argh! Jebal!” he yells, clearly determined to be a massive brat about poor Seonghwa’s task. He then proceeds to make ridiculous high-pitched noises while Seonghwa reads his message out, until Seonghwa cuts him off with a soft reprimand, knowing only he can use banmal with his leader: “Ah, keep quiet.” Hong-Joong obediently stops making noises, but then smirks unrepentantly when the older boy laughs at himself and stops the reading before screaming in frustration, himself, at the difficulty of his recording, making the now-quiet Hong-Joong snicker.

“Argh! I can’t do this!” Seonghwa laments. Noting that Hong-Joong has calmed down, he decides to ask him for some feedback on the instructions:

“What’s the difference between sexy and sensuous?” This gets Hong-Joong’s attention.

“Sexy? Ah, you don’t know?” he replies, springing up off the couch with drunken bravado, ready to show his hyung how it’s done. He staggers over to a very confused Seonghwa, who looks like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or worry.

“Sexy is...just...you see it…” he babbles meaninglessly. “This is sexy, this is sexy. If it’s sensuous...when you see it…” then gives him a somewhat-mystifying rendition of ‘sexy’ and mumbles "that's what I mean" before drifting out of the room and towards the stairs to their bedrooms, singing to himself. Seonghwa just stares after him, at a loss, then returns to his recording in peace. You give the older boy an encouraging smile, figuring he’s probably still sober enough to get himself up to bed, and then venture up to check on Hong-Joong. Only he’s not in his bedroom.

Sighing to yourself, you check the other boys’ rooms but then have to conclude that he’s in the bathroom, and there’s not much you can do there, except knock and call out to him if he’s still not out in ten minutes. So you head to your room, intending to get changed and prepare for bed. Only when you swing the door open, Hong-Joong is sprawled on his back, still fully dressed, in your bed - under the covers. You clear your throat pointedly.

“Excuse me, Hong-Joong? What are you doing in my bed?” you ask him, exasperatedly.

“I will try to seduce you, noona,” he tells you, in his adorably-accented, slightly off-kilter English, lovely long eyelashes fluttering coyly, as he sits up.

“Wha-I mean what…?” you stammer, assuming he’s just got his words tangled again. “Seduce?” You’re desperately trying to think of a plausible alternative, but your mind is drawing a blank from panic. Admittedly nothing innocent fits this scenario.

“Eung - yuhokhaeyo,” he affirms, nodding cutely.

“Um...you’re drunk, sweetheart,” you tell him, sitting tentatively by his side and patting his shoulder soothingly. You want to have misinterpreted him nearly as much as you want to take him up on his offer, but, despite his avowed attempt to ‘tempt’ you, in Korean parlance, you resist. He pouts a little and flings himself back onto his back, eyes fluttering shut again.

“Chwihaji anassoyo~~” [I’m not drunk] he whines, before switching back to English, frustrated at being misunderstood, as he sees it. “I just want...have sex with someone," he tries.

“Probably not the best time to have sex, really,” you point out, biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing, as you don’t want to embarrass him or indeed give yourself away. He sits up suddenly, opens his eyes and fixes you with an intense stare. You falter, blush and lower your own eyes, but he puts a finger under your chin and gently lifts your face to look in your eyes.

“Will you...reconsider...if I am...sober?” he asks you, carefully, still in English.

“I don’t...I mean it’s probably not a great idea, tiger,” you caution him. “Wait though...are you...what are you saying...exactly?” you correct yourself, suddenly noticing that his cheeks are flushed almost the same shade as his strawberry-bangs and his eyes are avidly studying your duvet. He hums nervously, smoothing the duvet with his hand, but doesn’t answer or even look up at you. The realization hits you as all the pieces come together. “Chyeonyo-ye-yo?” [Are you a virgin?] you ask him softly, not wanting to embarrass him either way. He nods shyly, keeping his head and eyes down and pulling at a loose thread on the duvet as his cheeks flush even hotter.

“Wow...I mean...wow,” you falter. “I’m sorry honey, I really didn’t know,” you reassure him, slipping your hand under his, on the cover, with your palm facing up. After a moment, his fingers curl tentatively around your hand and you feel a shiver of desire run through you. “Well...um...maybe we can wait until you’ve sobered up and then we can try and find you...I mean find a way to help you get...um...erm...laid,” you finish awkwardly, feeling like his innocence is being violated by the very thought of it. But then you remember he was the one who asked, so perhaps he’s not that innocent - at least of lustful thoughts.

“Laid?” he asks you now, reigniting your reluctance to contact one of the professionals the company usually engages for this kind of service.

“Er...laid is a slang term for...for um…” you stall.

“Sex?” Hong-Joong chirps brightly, looking pleased with himself and finally catching your eye, now that he feels he has something to be pleased with himself about - his English ability.

“Yeah, sex,” you admit reluctantly. “Look, Joong, are you sure about this?” you ask him.

“Ne,” he whispers, leaning towards you expectantly and closing his eyes again.

“Wow! No, no, no!” you deter him, hurriedly, gently moving him back against the headboard of your bed. “No, I meant are you sure you want me to find someone to have sex with you?” He pouts and opens his eyes - this time holding your gaze.

“I want,” he hesitates, checking your eyes, “to...to?” You nod, assuming he’s just checking his grammar. “I want to have sex with you, noona. Right now,” he tells you firmly, nodding for emphasis. You’re already shaking your head, but you stand up and pull him up with you to add some weight to your refusal of this proposal.

“No. You’re not losing your virginity when you’ve been drinking and might regret it tomorrow - or possibly not even remember it, from the looks of you,” you tease him gently. “C’mon - come back to your room and get some sleep.” He shakes his head vehemently, tossing his hair petulantly and stamps his foot.

“Kiseu-haejwo~~” [Kiss me] he whines, stubbornly refusing to move when you tug at his arm.

“It’s not happening, honey,” you sigh.

“But you call me honey,” he persists, tossing his hair away from his eyes to wink at you provocatively, and sticking his tongue out for good measure.

“Yeah. I did,” you admit, sighing again at his persistence. “But it’s just a general term of endearment, like...sweetheart.”

“Call me jagiya,” he flirts, deliberately fluttering his amazing eyelashes at you.

“Kim Hong-Joong!” you warn him in a furious whisper. He ignores you, quickly grabs your chin in both of his hands and presses his lips to yours before you can stop him. Startled, you just let him kiss you, until he teases your lips open and slips his tongue into your mouth.

“No-no-no-no-no! Bad, bad, boy!” you tell him firmly, pushing him away with both hands. He just giggles and tries again, but this time you’re ready for him and put your hand against his chest to keep him back. “Right. Bed! Right now...go!” you stammer, fumbling your words as you try to stop yourself from shaking...or wanting to feel his lips on yours again. He smirks, grabs you around the waist this time and slams you up against the wall to kiss you again. This time with no prelude, just straight up making out. You hesitate for a fraction of a second, but then push him away again.

He stops but only to lick his own lip experimentally. “Mm...you taste like fucking candy,” he teases you, with another wink, moving back in for the kill.

“What are you doing?!” you demand, stopping him again. “Behave! You��ll get me fired!”

“I won’t!” he pouts.

“You most certainly will,” you correct him. “If there was a camera in my room, I’d be packing my bags already.”

“Really?” he asks, looking genuinely worried this time. You nod fervently. “Staff have to sign contracts as well, you know,” you explain. “I’m sorry, honey. Look, let’s get you back to your room before the others start looking for you to finish that mission, okay? He gives you a resentful, sulky look, but obediently exits your room, where you hear his dainty footsteps padding across to his bedroom and his door open and close, just before Seonghwa comes up the stairs looking for him. Trying not to panic at how close that was, you peel your clothes off and start to prepare for bed.

*************************************************

So you really shouldn’t be surprised when he endeavours to make your job incredibly difficult the next day. Seems, contrary to the saying, hell hath no fury like a kpop idol scorned. Worse, you already have to explain the day’s schedule to eight boys in various stages of hangover hell. Fortunately, in most cases it’s more a matter of keeping them awake and attentive, but Hong-Joong’s idea of revenge is yelling things and making distracting noises throughout the entire meeting. By the time you’re on the last round of explanations and he starts to object, you throw caution to the wind and slap your hand straight over his pretty mouth.

“If you interrupt me one more time, Hong-Joong, so help me God...” you warn him, through clenched teeth. He watches you fake-innocently over your hand, while the others come around long enough to snicker conspiratorially at the sight of their leader being chastised. You remove your hand, but continue giving him a warning look, then finish explaining the schedule and shoo them all into hair and makeup, overriding their pleading cries of ‘feeling sick’ and ‘wanting to go back to bed’ with the reminder that they got themselves into this mess, and that tomorrow is a free day, so they only need to keep it together for the rest of today before they’ll win a break.

They’re filing dutifully out of the cars, having had the luxury of a camera-less ride to the studio, Hong-Joong looking very pleased with his freshly-dyed bright blue bangs, when San and Wooyoung decide to accost you.

“What is it, Wooyoung?” you ask, eyeing a grinning San off suspiciously.

“Hong-Joong-hyung is want to have sex with you, noona” the younger boy informs you smugly, in halting English. San nods sagely, confirming this apparently hot tip. You close your eyes and sigh exasperatedly, trying not to show them that either a) you know this or b) you’re equally problematically attracted to their leader.

“Okay even if he did...which I doubt,” you begin, keeping your voice calm with difficulty. “Why on earth would he tell you two that?” you ask.

“He tell all members,” San updates you gleefully, before reverting to Korean to elaborate: “We were sharing TMI facts for games.”

“Great. That’s great,” you tell them sarcastically. “And on what planet does he think that information would be an appropriate TMI to share?”

“Oh he doesn’t...he was just really intoxicated by then,” Wooyoung giggles.

“This just gets better and better,” you marvel.

“Are you going to yell at him again, noona?” Wooyoung asks you, trying to contain his obvious glee. San watches seemingly impassively, but you can see the anticipation in his eyes. You narrow your own.

“So how do I know you two aren’t just making this up for a prank? Or to get your leader in more trouble?” you ask, pretending to be suspicious.

“Ask the others,” San shrugs. “Or ask him.” This throws you and they can sense it, which understandably deepens their curiosity and makes you panic.

"Fine. Tell him to come see me once you're done with the radio slot," you tell them, attempting to call their bluff.

It doesn't quite go according to plan though. You’re just thinking you've maybe impressed the gravity of the situation on Ateez's leader when he interrupts you with characteristic sass, but careful to stick to jondaemal: “Noona, jebal geuman malhago kiseuhae julraeyo?” [Noona, would you please stop talking and kiss me?]. Thank God you were prescient enough to talk to him alone. You stare at him open-mouthed.

“You...what...did you hear anything I just said!?” you demand. He nods, cutely, swinging his shoulders with his hands clasped together in front of him to complete the innocent look, and shoots you a come-hither look, through his eyelashes.

“So um...if you heard me, did you understand me?” you check, wishing your Korean was more fluent for situations like this.

“Yes, I understand,” he murmurs in English, his voice husky.

“So why…” you try, with another sigh. “Why did you still ask for a kiss?” He shrugs, pouts, pushes the toe of his boot into the leg of the couch he’s standing beside then flops heavily into it with a deeply wounded sigh. You follow suit, seating yourself on the other couch. Hong-Joong keeps his head lowered and stays silent, occasionally adjusting his eyelashes with his pointer finger until you have to ask, against your better judgment, but you feel bad for rejecting him:

“Gwaenchanaeyo, Joong?”

He sniffs disconsolately, plays with his eyelashes again, and shakes his head with a little hiccoughing sob. Well now you feel really bad, but this is a no-win situation.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, sweetheart,” you try, softening your voice. He nods, quickly, acknowledging your words, but swipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. You hold back a sigh of exasperation, and move to sit by him on his couch, tentatively placing your hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, Joong - don’t be like that,” you plead. “These aren’t my rules. But even if there weren’t rules...you’re so young. Don’t you want your first time to be with someone else your age. Who maybe can share the...the experience with you?” You try not to picture how it will more likely go if you arrange something for him, but push the thought away, pretending to yourself that the company can somehow make it romantic for him.

“Ani,” he sulks, head still lowered and blueberry bubblegum bangs spilling over his face. “I want you to kiss me.” He finally lifts his head and fixes you with his big, dark eyes. “Jebal,” he begs, voice breaking a little. “Only once, then I stop asking,” he bargains, in English, picking up on the subtle change in your expression. You sigh, close your eyes, and put your head in your hands, steeling yourself. You can feel Hong-Joong’s eyes on you. You can almost feel his heart thumping in his chest as he waits nervously for an answer.

“Okay,” you agree reluctantly, knowing in your heart of hearts that, despite his words, it won’t stop here. “On one condition. You are not to tell anybody ever.” He nods obediently, eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Okay then...Where am I kissing you?”

He is already facing you in anticipation, his hands neatly on his thighs and his eyes shut so you can see those glorious eyelashes resting on his cheeks. The tiniest tracks of his tears stain his pretty face, and his lips are parted, ready for his requested kiss. But he opens his eyes at the question, confused.

“Right here,” he tells you, cocking his head to the side. You laugh softly.

“No. Where on yourself do you want to be kissed?” you amend.

“Oh…” he is a little flustered by the question. “On…” he touches his lips. “On my mouth,” he requests. You smile at his innocence.

“Okay. Close your eyes again,” you tell him. He does so obediently and you lean across to kiss him softly, but sensuously, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth, and tangle it with yours. He wraps his arms around your waist, and you twine yours around his neck, turning your head on the side to allow him to sate his appetite on you. You only stop him, gently, when his hands sneak around towards your chest.

“There you go,” you murmur, extricating yourself reluctantly from his embrace. “Happy?”

“Yes,” he breathes, but he looks distinctly the opposite. “Noona? I...I have to go,” he tells you. You’re a bit taken aback, but you nod to him and let him up and he darts out of the room without a backwards glance. ‘Oh boy - this is gonna be fun’ you think to yourself, before leaving the little studio lounge to go round the other boys up.

You leave Hong-Joong until last, to give him some privacy to sort out his presumably mixed emotions, but it gets to the point that you really need them all in the cars, so you have to resort to checking the private recording booths, though you can’t imagine why he would be in one of them without booking it, and of course the bathrooms - which you plan to leave until absolute last. You ask the others if they’ve seen him, but they all shrug at you innocently. Finally Yeosang remembers that he saw their leader go upstairs to the sleeping pods. Thanking him exasperatedly, you jog up the stairs and then enter the space quietly, knowing that idols use it to recuperate between scheduled events. Most of the pods seem to be empty though, and it’s only when your ears adjust that you hear Hong-Joong’s voice and feel your cheeks flush.

At least he’s not sleeping, you reason, so you won’t have to wake him, but the sharp little intakes of breath and the quiet moans you hear make you think waking him would be infinitely less trouble. Still...if he’s with someone, at least now you won’t have to find him a date. You slide the door across, preparing yourself to chastise him at least a little, for form’s sake, but he’s alone. And boy, does he look guilty when he catches your eye. After a brief deer-caught-in-headlights moment, he freaks out completely, squeals loudly and throws himself commando-style off the further side of the little camp-bed, re-emerging adorably with the top of his face peeping over the mattress at you.

“Hong-Joong?! Are you alright?" you laugh. He nods and gives you cute v-fingers over his eyes and a mischievous smile. "Erm, good...what were you...wait were you just getting yourself off?” you ask him, the words spilling from your lips before you can stop yourself and wishing he didn’t look quite so delectable - kneeling up on his shins, chest heaving, with his hair dishevelled, lips just parted and eyes at half-mast and his arms awkwardly crossed across his crotch.

“U-uh...no...I was just…” he stammers, deeply unconvincingly, despite the tinkling sound of the buckle of his jeans belt dangling against the side of his leg.

“Okay, so the second car is leaving and you need to get yourself down there quick smart before it leaves without you,” you tell him, choosing to leave the subject.

“Or…?” he asks you, a little panicked. You hesitate, not wanting to give him any ideas. But it’s going to be just as awkward if you make him come downstairs with you right now.

"Or we'll have to arrange another way to get you home," you concede. "Look, just...fix yourself up. I'll work something out and come back for you. "

***********************************************

So this is the series of racy events that leads to you finding yourself in the back of a taxicab on the way back to the dorm from Hongdae, slightly the worse for the soju, with an endearingly tipsy Hong-Joong’s pretty head in your lap, using all your self-control to ignore the tantalizing effect of the incredibly illicit kisses that he is bestowing on your stockinged thighs whilst he’s meant to be ‘resting’.

“Joong, stop it! I’m warning you,” you chastise him for probably the twelfth time since you’ve clambered into this cab together. “I cannot believe you talked the staff into having me chaperone you for a night out on the town.” You don’t add that neither you nor they would have gone along with this if they’d had any idea whatsoever of his intentions. But lucky for him, you obviously weren’t going to tell on him and you gather the other boys had his back as well. Now however, you’re not entirely sure the scope for gossip won’t kill them.

Thank God, the taxi makes it back to the dorm before he can test you any further, and you jump out of the backseat to pay the driver, before helping Hong-Joong out and guiding him inside and up to his bedroom, where he spins around in a sort of pirouette before flinging himself onto his bed with a cute giggle.

“I look pretty today, don’t I, noona?” he checks with you, preening a little.

“Very pretty,” you assure him, careful to keep the tone of your voice neutral.

“No, you’re teasing me, noona~~” he whines. “Say it properly that I look pretty.” He shakes his head, making his long, silver earrings dance and jump.

“You look pretty, Hong-Joong-oppa~,” you tell him, with an aegyo flourish, before rolling your eyes teasingly at him and he laughs, loudly, with his hand in front of his mouth, then hits you playfully, in that adorable fashion he has. You give up on any pretence that he’s not dangerously close to getting his way, what with your guard being down and the soju still buzzing through you.

“Are you trying to turn me on, or are you really just that oblivious?” you ask him, wryly. His eyes go wide, unsure if he’s just understood you correctly.

“Mwo?” he chirrups.

“You heard me,” you purr, leaning forward to kiss him lingeringly. He responds immediately, arms coming around you to pull you against him and lips moving against yours eagerly, before you feel his tongue searching for yours. You kiss for a while, but when he lays down and pulls you over on top of him, you stop him.

“Okay, okay,” you laugh. “I think we need to stop now, before someone gets hurt.” You stand up reluctantly, and give him what you plan to be one last kiss, tugging at his bottom lip gently with your teeth, before you pull away. He clings to you, kissing your jawline and then your neck, but you extricate yourself and stand up, making his face fall and his pretty smile merge into a pout.

“Wae, noona~?” he sulks, cute.

“Did you honestly think your devious little plot would work?” you tease him. “Whatever happened to ‘I won’t ask anymore once I get one kiss,’ hmm? You’ve had way more than one kiss, Joong...it’s time to move on back to reality now,” you tell him, sadly, turning to go. He sighs his defeat, letting his shoulders sink and making you wish fervently that you could just hold him and make him feel all better. You honestly can’t think of a reason that one of the professionals the company can hire for him will make him feel any more of a man than you could right now. And just as you’re mulling it over, reluctant to take your final leave, he lets his gaze rake you from head to foot, winks provocatively, and then bites his lip with a little ‘c'mere’ tilt of his chin.

“Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip?” you ask him, rhetorically. “‘Cause, you know what? If you did, then, fuck the rules. We’re having sex. Right now.” This time he manages not to give himself away completely, but his eyebrows go up and he swallows hard. He rearranges himself nervously on the bed as you check his door, making sure it’s locked. When you turn your attention back to Hong-Joong, you almost have second thoughts. He has arranged himself carefully, so that his shirt is open half-way to his waist, exposing most of his chest but artfully concealing his nipples, and he's leaning back on his hands, legs stretched out in front of him to give you the best possible view. His head is tilted, eyes lowered, and his slender neck looks impossibly delicate, wrapped in a black silk choker. He smiles bewitchingly and dares a look up through his lashes when you walk over to him and sit on the edge of his bed.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Hong-ssi?” you ask him softly.

“Yes!” he tells you firmly.

“Really?” you confirm. “Because you seem...maybe a little shy?” you try gently, putting your hand on his to try and help him relax.

“I have a little...little nervous,” he explains, bravely, in English, showing you with his fingers pinched together how ‘little’ the little bit of nervousness is.

“Oh - ginjanghaessoyo?” you check, in Korean. He nods quickly, blushing. You put your hand on his cheek and give him a light kiss. “Well, you don’t need to be. I promise I’ll look after you. And I’m sure you’ll do great for your first time. Still good?” Another nod. “Now, remember just tell me anytime if you want to stop, okay?” you instruct him. “I won’t be annoyed.”

“Okay,” he says with a bright smile.

“And you don’t need to be shy about making noise either, okay? If it feels good, you let me know and I will do the same. It makes it more fun,” you add, with a wink. He giggles, bites his lip and then nods again. “Now c’mere, you sexy little thing,” you tell him, hooking your arm around his waist to pull him closer, and kissing him lingeringly. He moans softly into your mouth and you reward him by deepening the kiss and letting your other hand stray inside his open shirt to play with one of his nipples. He gasps and then moans again, his lips still attached to yours and his tongue exploring your mouth with swiftly-growing passion. You keep kissing him, but press him back onto the bed properly, so that you can straddle his thighs.

“Where do you want me to kiss you next?” you ask him, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way, and pulling it open, so that you can stroke his naked chest.

“Odiena,” [everywhere] he begs, writhing impatiently under your touch and tossing his head on the pillows in an agony of anticipation. You laugh softly.

“I can’t kiss you everywhere at once,” you object. “Give me a clue...” You let one hand stray back to his nipples, making him arc his back, then you let your other hand deliberately brush the front of his pants, making him buck his hips up to press himself against your fingers.

“Seems like you’re having trouble deciding,” you tease him, letting your lower hand run the length of his still-clothed erection but bending your head towards his chest. You don’t let him get away with it that easily though, swerving at the last second to whisper into his ear:

“Why don’t you show me what you were doing in that booth upstairs this afternoon?”

“I...I wasn’t…” he stammers, blushing and nervously playing with his eyelashes.

“You were though, weren’t you?” you say. “That’s why you ran off when I kissed you. Do you have any idea how much catching you like that turned me on?”

“Oh jinjja?” he asks, surprised, but clearly flattered.

“Mmhm,” you assure him. “C’mon...let me see your jaji...I mean it feels pretty sexy,” you tell him, curling your fingers around the outline of it through his jeans. “Besides, do you honestly think I’ve been able to concentrate on anything all day while you’ve been teasing me while looking like a whole snack with this new hair?” you ask him, undoing his belt and jeans as you speak. He giggles, then self-consciously pushes his bangs back from his face and gives you another of his very pretty smiles but then hisses through his teeth and moans softly as you release his erection from his boxer-briefs and start to stroke him.

“But it’s you who tease me now, noona,” he complains, kissing you until you’re frantic for him. “You make fun by saying me all this things,” he elaborates, his breath getting more and more shallow as you speed up your strokes and his hips follow along by instinct, a thin trickle of precum leaking from his tip and making him groan helplessly.

“I’m not teasing you, babe,” you reassure him. “Every time you’ve caught my eye today, every time you’ve shown off these lovely assets of yours,” you stop caressing his cock to run your fingers longingly over his lips, then along his clavicle and then down over his hip, making him arc into your touch again… “I’ve wanted you more and more. But I’ve known that despite every inch of me aching for you, I’m not allowed to have you. You got teased by the others for saying you look pretty today? Well I think that you look not just pretty but also hot and very sexy. But I’m not supposed to tell you that. I’m not even supposed to think that,” you murmur, running your tongue over his bottom lip and eliciting a needy whine from deep in his throat. “But I don’t care anymore, Hong-Joong-ah...I want you so badly.” You kiss him again and he responds eagerly, but chastely, making you melt at his angelic sweetness.

After a moment, you reach for his cock again and start to pump your hand up and down it, but he flinches, so you pull back straight away, noting that his cheeks are aflame with blushes.

“Would you like to stop?” you check with him, keeping your voice soft and gentle.

“Ani, ani,” he stammers, waving his hand to show he just needs to catch his breath. “I just worry that I...will make a mess everywhere...too soon,” he attempts to explain.

“Oh! You’re worried you’re going to cum soon?” you check. He nods, embarrassed. “That’s okay, jagi…” you tell him. “We can slow down for a little while if you like?” He nods again, quickly this time, smiling at you sweetly when you deliberately use the term he had asked you for earlier. You let him fix himself up and then curl into your arms against the pillows with his head on your chest. You lay together quietly for a little while, kissing occasionally, as you play idly with his blueberry-bangs.

You’re just starting to count your blessings, thinking he’s actually drifting off to sleep after all and you can escape, leaving both his pride and his virginity intact, as his limbs start to feel heavier and his breathing slows towards sleeping pace. But then, just as you begin to gently disentangle yourself, he hooks your leg with his to stop you escaping, rolls over to press his hips against yours and then kisses you rather too passionately. You give in straight away this time, kissing him back with a ferocity to rival his own, and wrapping your legs up around his waist.

He pulls away a little, clearly unsure how to proceed, and kneels up between your legs to watch you, biting his lip again, but this time with a truly unconscious innocence of how sexy he looks. He tilts his head on the side, and then cautiously runs his hands up your sides, apparently not daring to do more. You smile at him and nod discreetly, but he just blushes again and clears his throat nervously.

“It’s okay, Hong-ssi,” you reassure him. “I won’t bite, and I’m not going to stop you anymore tonight. Just follow your instincts. You look like you maybe want to undress me?” you suggest. “Go on then, go ahead.” You smile again, trying to put him at ease, then raise your hand to his cheek and sit up to kiss him messily. You feel him smile and then his hands come up to peel the straps of your top off your shoulders and down your arms.

“Mmm…” you murmur against his lips, shifting to allow him to undo the front of your top, then wriggling a little to help him remove the whole thing, so that you’re kissing him in only your bra and skirt. “Mmff...keep going, jagiya,” you encourage him, lifting his hand back up to your bra straps. You let him struggle with your bra while you get to work on removing his shirt properly and undoing his jeans again. You know you could help him, but you kind of sense it’s better to let him make any mistakes that he’s going to make now, while he’s in a safe environment where he won’t be judged if he’s not perfect at everything. He makes a cute little frustrated noise as he tries to figure out the clasp, but then another pleased noise when he manages to get your bra off, but you pretend not to notice and just let him have his moment, sliding the garment off, then pulling you into his arms again, against his naked chest.

You kiss the tip of his nose, then tease his jeans carefully off his hips and down his thighs, letting him kick and yank them the rest of the way off until he’s kneeling on his bed in front of you, blushing but eager, in only his boxer briefs. You lean across and start to tease kisses from his knee, working your way up his thigh towards his thinly-veiled erection.

“Oh, jebal~,” he begs you, trying to move his leg so that you will come higher.

“Jebal? Mwo, jebal?” you murmur, wanting him to say it. “What do you want me to do?”

“Kiss...kiss,” he breathes, still in a pleading voice.

“Kiss? I’m already kissing…” you tease him, tickling his skin with your tongue now, and allowing your lips to dance ever nearer to the bottom leg-line of his panties. He moans, much louder now, and you let your other hand dip into his waistband to just barely skim the silky head of his cock. His moans intensify and he slams his head inadvertently back against the headboard of his bed, startling you a little, but not as much as he startles himself. He winces then rubs the back of his head with his hand and gives you a slightly hurt look.

“Yah, noona~” he whines. “You know what I’m mean. I want you to please...put my...my [he gives up and opts for the Korean when he can’t think of the English] je jaji...into your mouth,” he explains in a pouting almost-aegyo tone. You kinda want to tease him a little longer, but frankly you can never resist him when he talks in pout, even when the stakes are this high. And, judging by his sparkling eyes, he knows it too.

Trying not to hurt him, you pull his boxer-briefs carefully away from his erection and lick his shaft from balls to tip like an icecream. He shudders and another long, low moan escapes his body as his hands clutch his bedsheets. You raise your head to take him in your mouth, gently moving one of his hands to place it on the back of your head and indicating he should let you know how fast he needs you to go. Arcing into you, he presses his hand against the back of your head, needing you to speed up, which you do, using your free hand to hold him steady and being careful to keep your teeth behind your lips. After an interval of his pretty moans and your jaw starting to feel it, his hips dance, and he swears under his breath, in Korean.

“Wait-stop-stop!” he yelps, trying to pull away, but it’s too late and his voice trembles into another prolonged groan as you taste his warm jizz flooding your tongue. “Oh, shibal, mianhamnida,” [fuck, sorry] he stammers, mortified. You ignore his sweet objections and lick him clean, then pull him down by your side and let him cuddle shyly into you with his face turned into the crook of your neck.

“Noona?” he asks, squeezing your waist with his arm.

“What is it, Joong?” you murmur sleepily, the soju finally settling in your veins.

“Please stay here with me?” he requests. You sigh, afraid to tell him.

“No, no - that’s too much, doll,” you try to cushion the blow with a finger under his chin and a soft kiss on his lips. “I have to go back to my room, now that the damage is done.”

“But you say...well...we are going to have sex,” he pouts.

“And we did, you little minx,” you tell him, but he is already shaking his head, cheeky.

“Ani. I still am...virgin,” he corrects you defiantly, pleased with himself for remembering the English word.

“You’re still? Wow...you’re really going to go for the literal definition, are you?,” you laugh quietly at his sass. “Well, you may find you need to recharge a little first,” you sigh, giving in. He veritably purrs at this update and you see a devilish grin slip across his lips, though he keeps his eyes tightly squeezed shut, making you marvel anew at his beautiful eyelashes, by this stage of the evening innocent of eyelash-curlers or mascara, yet still works of art in themselves.

You cuddle up together for another small interval, but this time you realize that you must have drifted off to sleep yourself, when you open your eyes to find the sun peeking over the horizon outside. You smile to yourself when you notice Hong-Joong slumbering sweetly, completely naked in your arms, but you’re not sure how to disentangle yourself without waking him again. You manage to edge yourself out of his embrace, get your top back on and locate your bra but when you turn to give him one last longing look, he is propped up on one arm, eyes blearily open and watching you resentfully. He opens his mouth to say something and you swiftly close the distance between the two of you, to put a finger to his lips.

“You trick me,” he whispers fiercely. You try not to laugh at his indignant tone.

“I didn't, sweetheart! I fell asleep, same as you,” you defend yourself.

“So we have sex now?” he asks you, yawning and covering his mouth politely. You shake your head at him with amused incredulity.

“We can’t now,” you tell him. “There’s no way people won’t find out. It’s morning.” He just shrugs and tries to pull your skirt off.

“I don’t care,” he informs you cheekily, switching to an attempt to remove your top when you intervene with his attempt to remove your skirt. “If we are...balli-balli...[quickly - if you go fast] then we not wake members,” he bargains.

“Okay, okay! My gosh, you’re persistent,” you marvel, drawing him into your arms and kissing him. He deepens the kiss, tugging at your lip with his teeth in the sweetest punishment as his hands work quickly to remove the rest of your clothes.

“Hey - where’s that shy boy from last night?” you tease him, but he just sticks his tongue out at you and taps your legs, making you spread them so that he can climb between them. He’s all masterful confidence until you feel his erection tickling the inside of your thighs and he pauses, on his hands and knees, looking at you nervously. You run your hands along his body and down onto his hips and pull him forward.

“Ah - there’s our shy boy! It’s okay, jagi,” you reassure him, wrapping your legs up around him and lifting your hips to meet him. He kisses you under the jawline, and lets his hands stray towards your chest, so you drop your hand down to guide his cock to rest against your already-wet folds, then give your hips a little thrust so that he slips in. He gasps and thrusts his own hips instinctively, then you grab them and pull him the rest of the way forward, simultaneously eliciting a jagged moan from his lips and sighing with relief yourself, as he slides right up inside you, making you call out his name. He moans your name back to you, then finally starts to rock his hips back and forward, his breath coming hotter and faster against your neck as his moans get louder and more urgent.

“Aigoh! Ai-ai-yuh...uh! Aiohhohh!” he vocalizes shamelessly as he gets more and more caught up in your lovemaking, until he appears to have forgotten his surroundings. You surrender to him completely, kissing and caressing every part of him that you can reach.

“Oh-uh...pokbalhaga naol got gatayo~” [I feel like I’m going to explode] he confesses as his hips start to reach jackhammer speed.

“Oh, jinjja?” you gasp. He moans in the affirmative into your neck. “Do it, jagi. Cum inside me!” you gasp. His hands force you to speed up to his pace and his lovely voice climbs high enough to definitely have caught the attention of the other members.

“Oh shib!” he groans, his lips parted and his eyes at half-mast in a perfect mask of sexual gratification. “Oh...oh ne...oh fuck...Do you think…” he pants out “they can...hear us?”

“Yes we can!” hollers WooYoung from behind the wall, his voice indicating that he’s been wanting to object since the beginning of this latest tryst. “Please stop already! We’re happy for you hyung but honestly, we’re trying to sleep too, you know?!” he elaborates. Shaking your head at WooYoung’s lack of tact, you grab Hong-Joong’s sexy, taut ass in your hands, kiss him fiercely on the lips and lift your hips to a higher angle, letting him penetrate you even further. His hips do a final dance and you feel him cum up inside you, before collapsing next to you on his back, chest heaving and one arm flung across his face, while the other pulls you close.

“Better?” you ask him, cuddling against his side.

“Mmm....ne...much better,” he affirms, sighing contentedly.

#ateez #ateez fluff #ateez smut #kim hongjoong #ateez hongjoong #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong angst #hongjoong smut #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fic

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waiting-on-a-dream · 3 years ago

Text

My ocs in an idol au! (Part 2)

It's so hard to find a picrew with horns 😭. Much less the ones that curl up that Slyvan has. 😭😭😭

𝐕𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐫

Skills:

Singing: ☆☆☆☆☆ (That's her strongpoint! She's best at slow songs, but can hit some pretty high notes with enough training!"

Dancing: ☆☆☆ (She can dance, but she's a little stiff)

Rapping: ☆☆☆ (She's okay at rapping, better than Iris at least)

Cuteness: ☆☆☆☆ (Oh, this is her best style. She hates it so much, but acting cute comes naturally to her for some reason. Argh!)

Coolness: ☆ (Cannot for the life of her do anything cool without cringing or tripping over something.)

Elegance: ☆☆☆☆ (She's very elegant too! Unfortunately, she keeps having to do cute dances because she has a baby face.)

Interacting with fans: ☆☆☆ (She tries, she really does.)

Participating in variety/internet/tv shows: ☆☆ (She's got other stuff to do than play games.)

Photo shoots: ☆☆☆☆ (She's pretty good at this! She'll sit still for as long as needed.)

Best concept: Beach, cottagecore, and cute concepts.

Fun facts:

Her designated colour is red.

Her fans keeps asking for her to do some cute things at meet and greets, like make hearts with her hands, just to see her do it stiffly. They find it hilarious. Her? Not so much.

She works very hard, a little too hard even. Some observant fans noticed her looking more tired during a performance, and wrote a bunch of posts online about how good she's doing so she'll feel better. One of them even wrote her a loving, concerned letter. She cried when she wrote them back.

Here's what I think her voice would sound like:

youtube

𝐒𝐥𝐲𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝

Skills:

Singing: ☆☆☆ (He's not very good at it, but he's trying!)

Dancing: ☆☆☆☆ (He's better at dancing actually, and has a surprising amount of stamina.)

Rapping: ☆☆

Cuteness: ☆☆☆☆☆ (The best at it. He was born to do cute things.)

Coolness: ☆☆☆☆ (Surprisingly good at doing cool, energetic dances specifically. Winking or smirking, not so much.)

Elegance: ☆☆ (He falls a lot during training. The weight of his horns don't help. Poor thing.)

Interacting with fans: ☆☆☆☆ (His fans love him, he's such a sweetie. I'd give him 5 stars if it weren't for his introverted social battery.)

Participating in variety/internet/tv shows: ☆☆☆ (He'll go if invited, but isn't interested in these kind of things for the most part.)

Photo shoots: ☆☆☆☆ (Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing-)

Best concept: Cutesy themed, nature themed, and energetic dances.

Fun facts:

His designated colour is green.

He's received a lot of flowers from his fans since he fits the aesthetic so well, and he has said that he likes them too. He has a few books of his favourite flowers preserved within, along with the loving notes from his fans that came with the flowers.

He does a lot of campaigns for animal shelters and nature preserves, raising donations and volunteering to help out when he has the time. He encourages everyone to pitch in where they can!

Here's his voice~!

youtube

#violet delmor #slyvan marwood #idol au #have my poor awkward babies lmao

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thr-333 · 4 years ago

Text

Drastic Measures- Part 2

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Swordplay~

To summarise: I will have the love square one way or another!

Ao3

First >Next

--------------

As far as homes go it’s pretty good” Adrien stretches out, Plagg curls up next to him.

“Don't get too comfortable we’re going to be on the move,” Marinette types furiously at her computer.

“I will try my hardest,” Adrien stares blankly at her, sat atop a pile of grubby blankets next to a broken window. Marinette loses connection to her computer and slams it shut with a huff.

“Get some sleep I’m going to find an internet cafe,” Marinette stuffs the cheap laptop into her bag, amazing how something she bought at a hole in the wall place for thirty bucks didn’t work well.

“Who needs sleep when you can have coffee,” Adrian stands up, ready to follow her.

“Sleep Chat,” She pushes him down by the shoulders, “I need my partner fully operational,”

“Yeah kid, take a break, we worked hard,” Plagg yawns, turning over.

“You also worked hard Bug,” Adrien lets himself be pushed back onto the blankets.

“I won't be able to sleep until I know how everything is in Paris,”

“Neither can I,” Adrien protests, already half asleep.

“Sure you can, night Chat,”

“Night M’lady,”

Marinette leaves the same way they came in, though the window. She has to slide down the gutter to get on the street, Tikki hiding away in her bag. She has to go pretty far in town to find a suitable cafe, too far from Adrien to be comfortable. Marinette pops in her earbuds before opening her computer to let her talk to Tikki freely.

She doesn't immediately search up missing person cases. Looking instead at Paris tourist destinations and guides. Switching to the dangers of traveling to Paris; the only mention of Akuma being on obscure question and answer sites. She looks at kidnapping potential and then moves onto missing person cases. Adrien's is the first to come up, obviously.

There was lots of outcry among his fans. Many were throwing around accusations of foul play on Gabriel's part from abuse to locking Adrien away from the world. However, Gabriel was also fiercely looking for his son. Adrien hadn’t left behind any sort of note. Well only to Nino, which Adrien had told Marinette was asked not to mention to anyone.

Marinette then feels safe enough to look up her own case. It was smaller, although was gaining attention as Jagged proclaimed it to high heavens; more so asking what they did wrong and how they could fix it and asking for any sightings of her. That could be a problem if her picture was already around. Marinette pulls her hood up higher. They might have to get haircuts and wear disguises… on second thought wearing suspicious disguises in Gotham might cause more problems.

“Tikki they seem really worried,” Marinette watches the videos Jagged posted, her parents in the background running around talking with police.

“Of course they are Mari,” Marinette feels a light tap on her side, “But you're doing the right thing,”

“No I’m not,” not when she’s watching a video of her parents crying, “I’m doing what needs to be done, this is my responsibility, no matter what a certain someone thinks,”

She spits with venom. Maybe Adriens rant last night rubbed off on her.

“He’s the hero here,” Tiki says non accusingly, “Imagine if another hero came to Paris without asking you… remember Volpina?”

“Ah now that was an actual villain,” Marinette hadn’t trusted her from the start, “Plus she was akumatized,”

“Marinette,” Marinette can’t bring herself to feel guilty, even under tikis scolding.

“Right but that still doesn't give him the right,” Marinette huffs, “After all would he attack Marinette? No!”

“Are you implying you would attack Lila?”

“......... no,”

“Marinette,”

Marinetti smirks to herself instinctively looking around for Adrien to share her joke. Then Marinette froze. The cafe was empty, not even a barista. How had she not noticed!?

“Wait,” Marinetti says out loud before Tiki could talk, “I’m going to have to call you back, something just came up,”

Something was watching her from the kitchen door as if she couldn’t see them. Marinette tries to act normal going for the pepper on the table and putting it on her food. They move at the same time. The attacker runs towards her, Marinette throws the shaker at- Robin?! It hits him square in the forehead, with a curse he touches his bleeding forehead.

“I am so sorry!” Marinette panics, “That was meant to explode in your face!”

“How is that better?!” Robin runs forward, sword drawn. Marinette ducks behind the table grabbing her plate and frisbeeing it towards him, he manages to dodge this one, “Draw your weapon coward!"

“I don’t have a weapon!” She grabs the table cloth ready to take the vigilante down, “What is wrong with you?!”

He doesn't answer lunging at her again with the sword. Marinette kicks up the table then kicks it towards him in one swift movement. With the impact of the table he drops the sword, Marinette jumps up landing on the table which pins Robin down to the ground with its weight and hers, with the legs sticking up.

“I knew it,” Robin spits and she presses her weight into the table to keep him pinned.

“Excuse you,” Marinette catches his wrist as he tries to pull a dagger on her using the table cloth to tie it to the legs of the table, then does the same with the other, “You attacked me,”

“-Robin!” she hears a faint call, no one is around so it must be from his communicator, “-Robin report back to the cave!”

“I’ll take that~” Marinette sings songs ignoring how he growls at her. She rolls her eyes stepping off the table she needed to get out of here now.

She steps out of the cafe throwing the communicator and likely a tracking device too on the roof of a passing car then sprints in the opposite direction. She heads for the alleys looking for an area with no cameras as she runs. When she finds a spot Marinette transforms running back to their base with record timing.

“Adrien wake up!” Ladybug jumps through the window, barely avoiding landing on him, “Batman’s after us,”

“What?!” He sits bolt upright, Ladybug pulls him onto his feet.

“Move! Now!” She grabs their bags, Adrien transforms and they take off over the rooftops.

“What happened?!” Chat shouts as the runaway, “Is Batman chasing us?”

“Yes, well kinda-- Robin tried to kill me,”

“He what?!”

“As Marinette,” She adds, slowing down as they should have put enough distance between them.

“Did they figure us out already?” Chat Noir slows down into a walk then collapses on the rooftop,

"Probably,"

“This is the worst wake up call ever!”

“Well, it's about to get worse,” Ladybug cringes feeling the distinct trace of magic she was all too familiar with.

“Akuma?”

“Akuma,”

“Great, perfect,” Chat complains standing back up.

“At least we’re not at school,” Ladybug shrugs, launching herself over a roof.

“No you’re right being chased by a masked vigilante is a massive improvement,”

---

Wow

“Robin! Get your head out of the clouds and get over here!”

Damian breaks out of his trance, regrettably tearing his gaze away from Ladybug to the much less awe inspiring sight of Batman trapped under a car. They shouldn’t be wasting their time worrying about these established amazing hero’s and worry about that assassin on the loose. Who knows who she was after. She could be planning Batman’s demise at this very moment; if she was close with his mother then surely she knew their identities which was far far more dangerous.

Ladybug could handle herself as evidence by her going toe to toe with the newest villain. In a matter of minutes, the villain was down for the count with no help on their part.

“Ladybug!” He calls before she leaves again, maybe she could help him convince his father that he was being an absolute buffoon.

“Oh it’s you,” She says surprisingly coldly, “What do you want now?”

“Now?”

“Are, you here to attack me again?”

“... I didn’t attack you?” He had spent all morning tracking down a dangerous assassin.

“... Oh! Of course, you did- haha I just ummmm-- there must have been an… Akuma! Yes! There must have been an Akuma earlier that looked like you,”

“An Akuma was impersonating me?” Robin growls.

“Yeah, they do that sometimes,” Chat Noir pipes up, “It’s annoying,”

“Yes and if you’re here, that uh… that means the Akuma is still out there so we gotta go deal with that so-bye!” Ladybug swings off closely followed by Chat Nor; off to go save his name and reputation.

---

“So you really think that was an Akuma?” Adrien asks as they transform back.

“Maybe- I don’t know it was just an excuse so he wouldn't figure out my identity,”

“Well at least he doesn't know it,” Adrien shrugs as they walk through the alleys in search of a new place to rest that night.

“If he doesn't know then why would he attack Marinette?” She asks, “And if it was an Akuma that means Hawkmoth knows my identity which is so much worse!”

“Is it tho?”

“Chat,”

“I mean back in Paris it would have been bad,” They both cringe, “But here we have no home, no family, no friends! He cant use any of that against us now!”

Adrien beams his contagious smile.

“You always manage to find a bright side,” Marinette smirks punching him in the shoulder.

“So that's why,” They both turn around, staring in shock.

“Batman?!” Turning back their way out is already blocked by mister boy wonder. Who, by the way he is glaring at her, was not an Akuma this morning.

“I can't believe Talia called me because some teenagers were eloping,”

I know that name- WAIT!

“Eloping?!” Marinette chokes, “We are not eloping!”

“As in not at all,” Adrien blanches, “And I mean no offense Marinette you are literally the sweetest person but I can’t imagine anything more horrific!”

“Oh god, same!” At least now, “I mean once when we were younger…-- it was a silly crush!”

“Wait you had a crush on me?!”

“Yeah, well, you had a crush on me!”

“... oh god… I did, didn’t I?!”

While Adrien is dealing with that little revelation Marinette looks around for an escape. There isn’t much opportunity since both have their eyes on them, partly out of morbid curiosity at their little freakout. Well if you don't have a distraction homemade is fine.

“AKUMA!” They both look, predictably.

Marinette grabs Adrien and runs. She goes for the side Robins guarding, sweeping his legs sending him crashing to the ground.

“I’m not sorry!” Marinette calls as they sprint down the alley.

Marinette heads for the main street, enough of a crowd to camouflage. As they are walking through as casually as possible Marinette sweeps them both for bugs putting any she finds on random passerbys. They walk sometimes ducking into busy shops in hopes of losing their trail. They come across the mall which works perfectly for them. They stay until it starts to approach closing time, it’s easy enough to avoid security and so they get locked in for the night.

“So what do you want to do?!” They walk through the empty halls Adrien skipping along and looking at each display. Marinette stops outside an electronics store, the tv’s still on and displaying the news.

“Make a plan for a way to deal with that,” On-screen are the two of them, a video of Ladybug throwing a car at Batman, “This is taken completely out of context!”

“What’s the context?”

“Batman was being a little bitch!”

“I’m sure that will hold up in court,” Adrien laughs taking a seat in one of those massage chairs, “Besides what's the problem?”

“The problem?!” Marinette yells, “The problem is that now all of Gotham is going to hate us!”

“So? Do we really need them to like us?” Adrien gets up to stand by her, rubbing her shoulder.

“They did in Paris,”

“We’re not in Paris anymore,” Adrien says quietly, leading her towards the seats, “We have a chance to start new again, everyday something we haven't done before, a couple of pals living day to day on the edge, isn’t that exciting?”

“I just--” want to go home, “I’m tired,”

“Take a break,” Adrien sits her down in the massage chair with a kind smile, “I’ll keep watch,”

“.. ok,” Marinette curls up in the chair Tikki coming to lie beside her. With not much strength to fight it, Marinette falls asleep while she can.

-------------------------

Taglist? nope don’t have one, horrible at keeping track of them sorry~

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous fanfic #miraculous marinette #Marinette #badass marinette #batfam #daminette #good adrien #slow burn

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