#surgical trolley

[medilabware]

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[getadvanceinfo]

Envision yourself sauntering through the halls of a bustling hospital, or perhaps you’re within the scrupulously clean operating theatres where lives are saved daily. You’re bound to notice numerous assistants scurrying about, pushing sleek contraptions brimming with a ballet of meticulously arranged medical supplies. These inanimate heroes of healthcare are known as surgical trolleys.

[denisemedzer02]

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[medsorimpex1]

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[nerdygirlramblings]

previous | start

You watch John walk away, shaking your head over the encounter. You're stunned that such a good looking man showed an interest in you.

You shake your head. It was probably a random encounter. You walk past the car park to the DIY store to pick up a few tools.

A nice employee, an older man who reminds you of your grandad, helps you with most of your items. All you'd told him was you'd bought your first house and weren't sure what you needed. You ended up with a small trolley loaded with basics like a hammer, screwdriver set, a drill with bits, a wrench, and a plunger.

As you queue at the till, you hear a grunt behind you. You turn to see an absolute behemoth of a man clad in black wearing a black surgical mask. His brown eyes spy your goods, and he says, "Heard what you told Harry. If you plan to decorate you want a level and tape measure too. And if you're on your own, invest in a good security system. Not something you can get here, mind, but somethin' to give ya piece o' mind and keep ya safe."

Normally that sort of statement would come across uncomfortably, but the man says it with such a serious inflection you can't take it at anything less than face value.

You murmur a thanks and head back into the aisles for the tools he suggested , intending to ask for security system recommendations when you return, but by the time you're done, the man is gone. You exit the shop and...

[head to the grocer.]

[get some take away for dinner.]

start over | main masterlist

[silverview]

amazing bracelets @spcvarney made for me, i love them so much 😭💕💕💕 had a great time again at s/f, got to see a bunch of people from here who were all so cool & lovely, i feel so lucky!!

reece & steve DID come out to sign things this time! we were told not to ask for selfies, so i just got my s9 script book signed by both of them. i asked reece if he'd had a good time & he looked up at me, smiled, and said yes he did, and thanks for coming. 🥹💗

there was also merch for sale in the theatre, and that poster i mentioned is s/f specific, but in a way that's not obvious until you've seen the play.

some further unorganised thoughts about the show + audio links below the cut, spoilers obviously ⚠️

new recordings added here (18-01) [edit 20-01-2025: removed the link] in case you want to compare & contrast (@lapis-lazuliie!) there were a few small changes & the scene change with the video screen was much smoother. i accidentally cut off the coda to the song at the very end in my haste to get to the stage door

in the opening sketch, there’s a reference to an 80s-style production of taming of the shrew. certainly a reference to the play where reece first laid eyes on steve. theatre at the heart of their relationship from the very beginning. it really is all about them and their love story

(when you know the twist in this bit, you notice that toby leaves when steve comes onstage, and then once s & r are onstage together, s just stares at r for a moment too long)

in general, i just love the shakespeare in it. love hamlet obviously and love the range of their theatrical references. i get emo about reece on gbbo “jokingly” griping that he’ll never get to play hamlet, because you know he thinks he'd smash it, and you know he knows he never will. and that he still slightly blames his comedy career for the fact he didn’t get to. and that it's specifically a dream that dies when you get too old. (“the most devastating moment in a young man’s life…”)

goudron & hugo are doing it blake & drew style. as in, here’s a creepy guy. here’s the methods he uses to sexually abuse his female patients. now here he is doing those same things to a man. now let’s not address the subtext of that ❤️ yay ❤️ i honestly am thinking about writing self-indulgent fic about them but not till after the run at least. OH AND the set for that whole bit is turquoise, like the trolley problem. alright.

they've changed that bit slightly so that when hugo comes back in, he's already in the chair, and doesn't need to be restrained. which makes much more sense, and it's clear they should have done it that way from the beginning, except force of habit and reece's need to be strapped to a chair made them try it the other way first.

sidenote, i need goudron carnally, i’m sorry. if i’m acting more than typically horny for steve, you know that’s why. i think the drastic & abrupt shift in fuckability levels from act 1 to act 2 doesn’t help. white coat, sleeve garters, moustache, brown hair.

speaking of clothes, reece as himself at the beginning was wearing smart brown shoes + smart trousers + pale blue shirt + soft grey sweater vest. as marcus at the end he's wearing a jacket over a turtleneck, very cute. also very cute as marcus in hugo's stripy pyjamas with a big cosy cardigan over the top. hugo has curly dark hair with a grey streak, and a big curly moustache that gets a laugh when he takes off his surgical mask.

the guest this time was kevin eldon! he did the line from zanzibar and reece went fully into the hokey cokey!!! i would post the clip but it is mostly just me laughing

i mentioned this briefly in my original post, but it really is crazy that they make it so obvious how len has written his real feelings/anxieties about the relationship into the kidnappers sketch. purely because like… lads YOU are sketch writers. you are making it very clear that YOU put your real feelings/anxieties about your relationship into your work. we knew this already but it's too much too much

it's easy to not tell bf what happens in the show (we're seeing it together late feb) but it is very VERY hard to not walk around the flat constantly singing tears of laughter

on the final night at the end steve really does need to just grab reece and kiss him

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

I feel like a lot of people just conflate "anti-imperialism/non-imperialism" with "morally clean and pure", and that's a large chunk of why people have a conniption about the idea of having to work with complex systems that are filled with unfair and unjust elements, but at the same time is the only major way to enact any meaningful change since most of the alternate solutions require just as much sacrifice, if not more so, to enact with as little guarantee of success.

Like it or not, there is no alternate solution to the trolley problem that doesn't come with its own evils, downsides and moral consequences. EVERY choice that involves the real power to change society is inherently going to dirty your hands no matter what, so you might as well pick the one that causes the least amount of damage, not just what makes you feel good at the expense of everyone else.

Yeah, that nails it. Imperialism is well-integrated into society, and there is no way to yank it all out in one clean pull. It has to be removed surgically, and surgery is also bloody.

[jonahs-arks]

Some Rockwell's Offer AU writing; specifically for something on Extinction </3

Brandon lied down on the operation table, awaiting his partner. He had a blank expression on his face; there was nothing new to anticipate. It was always the same on days like these.

He heard the familiar click of Edmund's shoes on the floor, drawing closer.

He let out a sigh. We can finally get this over with.

Rockwell stepped into the room, adjusting his black gloves. He always looked handsome when doing such simple actions... He acknowledged Brandon with a curt nod, walking closer to the table.

Rockwell brought the surgical trolley over to the table, the light reflecting off of the scalpels.

Routinely, Edmund tapped his fingers on the scalpels, though Brandon knew which one he'd choose. It's always the same. He closed his eyes as he heard the sound of the scalpel being picked up.

Rockwell stared at the sharp object in his hand.

It was always quiet in the operation room. They rarely spoke to each other here; there was nothing to discuss. Everything was routine in this room: cut, fiddle, inject, and maybe die if you're lucky.

Rockwell started humming as he brought the scalpel to Brandon's chest; his unoccupied hand resting on Brandon's, a small reassurance.

He opened his eyes, sighing as he felt his skin tear. He rubbed his thumb along Rockwell's hand.

He watched as his chest was cut open, almost ritualistically, in an upside down triangle shape. Brandon drew in his breath as the skin was peeled back; revealing his ribs.

Rockwell placed the now bloody scalpel back on the table, and removed his hand from Brandon's to grab the rib shears.

Brandon missed the warmth, but this was routine. He knew his partner needed two hands for this portion of the session.

He jolted as the shears were placed upon one of his ribs and broke it. It didn't hurt, though. It stopped hurting forever ago.

He looked up at Rockwell, who was continuing to meticulously open his ribcage.

He was so handsome when doing this. Covered in his blood. Using some tool in his chest. It was like bliss watching him work. It's part of the reason Brandon agreed to be experimented on.

The only thing he didn't like was when he was dying. It was awful every single time. The convulsing, the hammering heart, the darkening vision. It fucking sucked, to put it bluntly.

But then, it would be peaceful serenity. A nice, comfy darkness would take him, and everything would be fine. And then he'd awaken, to the same face every time.

Brandon always got lost when staring at Rockwell's face. The wall torches would always illuminate his features in an almost beautiful way. He loved it.

He was taken out of his daze whenever Rockwell placed the rib shears down.

Brandon shivered when his partner started maneuvering and displacing his organs by hand. He's felt Edmund do this countless times, yet his body always has the same reaction. He'd chuckle if he wasn't so focused on Rockwell's hands in his chest.

Rockwell exhaled as he removed his hands from Brandon's chest cavity. He strolled over to his new set of vials; deciding on which one he'd test today. All of them were glowing that sickening purple colour, and all had labels in that precise, curly handwriting.

Brandon couldn't read them from where he was, but he didn't care what they were. Sometimes a surprise is needed for these days; even if the result wasn't pleasant.

Edmund picked up one of the vials carefully before returning to the table.

He picked up one of the syringes and inputted the concoction into it.

Rockwell tapped the bubbles out of it, and Brandon could see little shimmers within it. Corrupted Edmundium, he could tell.

Wonder what it'll do..

No matter, he'd find out soon enough.

Rockwell finally made eye contact with him. It was nice. Brandon could get lost in those purple-tinted blues all day.

They stared into each other's eyes for a couple moments longer, before Rockwell leaned in to kiss Brandon on the head.

Brandon wanted to say "I love you", but he knew it'd ruin the moment. All he could do was smile as he watched Rockwell inject the unknown concoction into his chest cavity.

He could feel it as soon as it entered his body. It was like his veins and arteries were on fire. It fucking burned. It fucking hurt.

Brandon cried out. He grabbed Rockwell's black apron; made just for these sessions. All Brandon got in response was a hand placed upon his.

His whole body started to feel like it was on fire. His chest fucking hurt. It was bubbling and mutating.

Can hearts do that?

A fleeting thought, cast aside as he started seeing shit in the corners of the room. He wasn't sure what it was. Shadows, maybe. He didn't know. It was incomprehensible to him. Maybe it was his vision going out, that warm darkness coming to take him again.

He started coughing up blood.

Tears started welling in his eyes. He could feel his heart hammer like a horrible drum throughout his entire body.

He started hearing things: Rockwell. Voices he didn't recognise. Helena-Deus. Himself. He couldn't understand what they were saying. It was all screaming. All of it agony and ear-splitting. His head rang.

His grip on Rockwell's apron tightened.

He wanted to claw his brain out of his skull. Everything fucking hurt. Every sense heightened. He could smell the fibres in the walls. He could smell the Edmundium in his blood.

It was all too much. He wanted it to stop.

He reached out for Rockwell. He needed more than his apron.

He sobbed as Rockwell put a hand on his cheek. He wanted nothing more than to be with Rockwell. Wanted nothing more than him in this moment.

He started to convulse as that darkness tried to claim him once more. All he could do was look into those cold, blue eyes.

He fucking hated that look. That blank look. It reminded him that he was nothing but a subject. A toy, even.

But he clung onto Edmund nonetheless.

He still loved him.

His body convulsed harshly once more, before that wonderful darkness took him away from everything again.

Everything will be fine.

[xamaxenta]

SABO BEING KNOWN FOR INTERREGATIONS AND HAS A TEETH NECKLACE basically his go to move in interrogation is yanking teeth and he always keeps them in his stash and has a necklace of all his favorite victims teeth-

i am becoming unhinged WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!

OH? ????Hello anon you’d like to discuss the intricacies of my favourite whiteboy bastard !!!

Perhaps not a necklace thats crude even for Sabo, would you be open to considering his toothy trophy being a decorative piece like artfully laid out he has charts… data if you will on which ones prompt the most interesting results (information)

tooth pulling imo plays off better as a psychological tactic more than a guarantee, i love the idea of Sabo utilising it as a threat more so than an act he particularly enjoys

But hes not just a barker hes got the bite and the grip strength to prove it, so imagine him getting chummy with his target

Hes been seated beside them for a while now, no amount of banter or threats to their family or personal general safety is budging them so he stands up with a crisp sigh and strides off stage right to return wheeling a very

Ominous steel cart, you know the one those surgical trolleys

And laid out are his tools, most are just medieval barbaric imitations of generic forceps which is all hes really gonna need tbh but its about PRESENTATION

And beneat the tray of tools is a neat velvet display of all the past teeth hes harvested

He smiles, not a single. Tooth of his own missing oh hes fucking rubbing it in isnt he? Gets personal again like ah, Major corporal blahblah was it? You know ive dabbled in minor surgery before and suturing isnt really my thing, field medicine is guerilla warfare in of itself, medically speaking and im better at fishing than casting heh.

Hes so funny lol laughs at his own joke as he busies himself with the trolley

So theres a choice here, game start! You could pick the easy way out sell out, save yourself your bonney lass and the baby youve got on the way or we can do this the less than profitable way which is i gather some down payment but trying to hear you through the snot, blood and tears will be excessively annoying and taxing for me yknow?

Mismatched eyes crinkling up hes really a devil in disguise 🥰

[rock-and-compass]

Angel - Episode 5.11 – Damage

Precursor - I wrote about the fifth season of Angel many years ago - probably around the time that the season 8 comics were first being published. I originally published these meta essays over on LiveJournal and I've decided to re-post them (as written), mostly for archival reasons. I love season 5 of Angel. It's such a shame it got axed before it could get the envisioned 6th and 7th series

Once upon a time there was a little girl called Dana. She was a nice, normal little girl with a nice, normal life. But when she was ten years old her family was brutally murdered. Dana was abducted, imprisoned for months on end during which time she was abused and tortured by the killer. Somehow, she managed to escape but she was never the same again. She was damaged beyond repair. The kindest thing that could be done for Dana was to put her in an institution and keep her sedated to give her poor, tormented soul some peace. Somewhere, deep in her numbed brain, she dreamed. She dreamed dreams of girls and monsters and heroics and death. Those dreams stayed locked inside. She was safe in her tranquilised refuge; safe from monsters and murderers and molesters and…dreams.  She was safe for fifteen years. And then, suddenly, things changed. . . Damage is an episode about consequences, seen and unseen. It’s about the past, present and future colliding, intersecting, converging, reminding us of the influence each one exerts over the other, of choices made, of roads taken, of regrets, of mistakes and how we are complex products of these interactions. As Darla once said with great effect:

“What we once were informs all that we have become.”

Damage opens with a minor crisis at a psychiatric ward. There has been a mix-up with the medication; Phillip has been given Thorazine, a sedative, instead of his usual Lithium. The doctor on call wants to know who got the Lithium by mistake. His question is answered by the sound of crashing and banging coming from one of the rooms. The banging stops. With the silence the doctor and nurses breathe a sigh of relief. It's short lived. At the far end of the corridor a door is thrown violently off its hinges to reveal a crazed young woman, breathing heavily and looking menacing. She walks from her cell towards the doctor and his assistants. They back off; keen to get away from the dangerous patient. The girl sees a hypodermic syringe in the doctor’s hand, senses danger and attacks. She punches and orderlies as the doctor retreats. A guard tries to retaliate but makes no impact on the girl. She sees a surgical implement, a saw, on a nearby trolley; she grabs it and cuts purposefully into the neck of one of the men. The clearly audible cracking and crunching of the bone and cartilage leaves no doubt, she has decapitated him. With bloodied fingers she ritualistically draws five lines down her face. It’s primitive and brutal.

Gunn walks the corridor of Wolfram and Hart like he owns the place, cell phone glued to his ear, legalistic jargon rolling off his tongue. He’s confident, Über confident; so confident that he’ll take on the District Attorney to win his case. Fred wonders if this is wise, but hey, what’s a D.A. compared to the power of Wolfram and Hart? Gunn was given the power of knowledge by the firm and he’s proving himself the most adept of the former Angel Investigations team at embracing, not only the gift but the opportunity that the move to Wolfram and Hart afforded. He tells Fred that half the cases that cross their desks are settled on the golf course and never see the inside of a courtroom:

Fred: Nine holes instead of a jury of your peers. Just what the founding fathers had in mind. Gunn: Well, sometimes you gotta work the system before it works you

And Gunn’s certainly working the system. Not for him are trivial ideals such as the constitutional right to legal voice and the principles of democracy. He’s got power; he made a choice to use it. But still he feels the need to defend his belief, his faith in what they are doing:

>Gunn:  Look, I know our move to Wolfram & Hart hasn't been all flowers and candy, but we've been able to do some serious good while we're here. Lives saved, disasters averted, with all our fingers and souls still attached. End of the day, I'm thinking we made the right choice.

Some serious good, even if the rules have to be bent to achieve it. For Gunn, the end justifies the means. But Angel’s not so sure. He’s back to thinking they made a mistake in coming here. The events of Soul Purpose have got him wondering, thinking, got him looking inward and not liking what he sees. Got him questioning why they are there – yet again. And yet again he can’t enlighten his team. That would necessitate a rather awkward explanation. Leading to all kinds of “you did what to our memories?!” But the truth is safe for the moment. They are all too preoccupied with Eve and her suspected betrayal to question Angel about his concerns with their tenancy at Wolfram and Hart. The rest of the team wants her fired, can’t believe that Angel hasn’t done it already. Gunn warns against such rash action using lawyer-talk words like ‘alleged’ and ‘evidence’ and the promise of a long bloody fight with her if they make a premature move. And that hits home. She’s not the ideal person to let loose with a burning grudge. She knows a thing or two about Angel and his awkward secret that he really doesn’t want to become public knowledge, ever. He concedes that Gunn’s safely-safely approach is their only option. Harmony breaks into the deliberations with news of an escapee from a psychiatric hospital. It’s of concern to Wolfram and Hart because of the suspicion that the patient in question is demonically possessed. They’ve had a few of these cases before, it requires finesse, so Angel will handle it. He goes to the hospital alone to assess the situation. 

At the hospital two lifts open in perfect unison to reveal not only Angel in one, but Spike in the other. It is a great analogy for the rest of the episode and indeed Spike and Angel themselves, arriving at the same destination from very different routes… but more on that later. The coincidence makes Spike laugh and wonder if Angel is checking himself in after the little parasite messed with his brain. Angel finds no humour in the situation:

Angel:  What are you doing here Spike?  Spike:  Didn't get the memo? Hero of the people now.  Angel:  Oh, then go and annoy them.  Spike:  When I'm done. Heard one of the simples went for a stroll.  Angel:  And I'll get her back without your help.  Spike:  Goody for you, 'cause, uh, not offering it.  Angel:  Look, shouldn't you be out in the streets, you know, protecting the city from people like you? Spike:  Go where I'm needed.  Angel: Well, which isn't here.

In just five lines of dialogue Angel manages to speak five phrases of dismissal to Spike. He makes it patently clear that he doesn’t want his wayward ‘grandchild’ anywhere in the vicinity of his person, has no faith in his ability to do the job and expresses his doubt that Spike has changed at all. Despite his best-efforts Angel fails in his objective. Spike stubbornly stays though now with a freshly fueled desire to prove the old bastard wrong. Again. They both get shown the escapee’s room. The walls are covered with child-like drawings of monsters and beasts, many of whom are being confronted by a lone girl. The doctor explains the circumstances of the case:

Doctor: She was a special case. Her family was murdered in their home when she was 10. Whoever did it took Dana... and tortured her for months. She was found one day naked and bleeding, wandering the streets. Barely functional, nearly catatonic ever since…. Several months ago her condition changed. Increasing levels of agitation accompanied by explosive outbursts of inhuman strength.

Spike decides on demon possession as the likely explanation (although why he doesn't hit on the obvious answer is a bit frustrating, character-wise). The doctor ridicules the suggestion, and Angel agrees that he’s not helping, consequently Spike rushes off with no forethought as to what he’s actually going to do, just determination to find the girl, to show Angel what he’s made of, the impetuousness of youth in action. Angel is not so easily satisfied. Experience tells him there’s more to know and he wants the full story and he needs to help her, because she’s a little girl robbed from her family, taken into hell, deranged by the experience. To Angel, at this moment, she’s not Dana, she’s Connor, lost and needing to be rescued. It cuts too close to home. 

One of the nurses turns out to be a fount of information. It seems that the doctor has videotaped all his sessions with Dana and she’s only too happy to show him if it means she can get her foot in the door at Wolfram and Hart, that’s why she tipped them off in the first place. 

As Angel watches videos, Dana stands in a grocery store eating cakes straight from the packet. The clerk tells her, quite nicely, that she’ll have to pay for them, but Dana has no patience for the interference. She grabs his arm and twists it obscenely until it breaks, sending the unsuspecting boy to his knees in pain. Completely immune to the fact that she’s just maimed the store clerk, Dana walks over to the clothes section. She selects jeans and a black t-shirt. Looking at the t-shirt triggers a flashback, a memory of a man also wearing a black t-shirt, walking past a cringing little girl, walking to a tool bench, looking at various, bloodied implements, choosing a saw, standing over the little girl with the promise of threat and menace.  An armed security guard corners Dana, points his gun at her nervously. He doesn’t want to hurt her. Dana has no such compunction. As soon as she feels threatened, she reacts. It’s instinctive. Trouble is she hasn’t the capacity to distinguish between help and harm. And as she leaves the supermarket wearing her freshly appropriated clothing, we see that her saw, the one she took from the hospital, is covered in fresh blood. We don’t think the security guard survived his encounter with Dana. 

On the doctor’s videotapes are recordings of Dana during her therapy sessions. She’s wild and uncontrollable, so much so that she’s straight jacketed. She spews forth frenzied, unintelligible rants in a multitude of languages. She’s like a caged animal. She does seem possessed. Then they come to a segment that Angel understands; it’s Romani. He understands it all too well and it brings enlightenment, helps him understand what they are dealing with. So, Dana morphs again, metaphorically speaking. No longer his relinquished son, suddenly she’s taking him further back, right back to a Gypsy girl, to a curse and the very beginnings of ‘Angel’ as opposed to ‘Angelus’ and she’s why he has to do what he does. Make amends, balance the scales. She’s the embodiment of victims' past – every single one of them. 

The police have swarmed to the supermarket. Ambulances are in attendance too. But there is no sign of Dana, just the bloody mess she left behind. Spike arrives, assesses the scene quickly, surreptitiously drops to the pavement, touches the blood, inhales the scent and walks away. He’s got vampire senses and he’s not afraid to use them.  Angel takes a much more detached approach. He calls Wesley, orders back-up; a ‘technical assault team’ with a ‘non-lethal ordinance’. Angel has Wolfram and Hart resources and he’s not afraid to use them. Was there ever any other way?

But Spike finds her faster - wants to fight the demon out of the poor, mistreated little girl. He slips into game face, which as it turns out was not the best move to make. Angel reveals to Wesley that Dana is not possessed, she’s not a demon, in the videos she was yelling about being chosen. She’s a vampire slayer. 

Dana looks at Spike and smiles; it’s a little maniacal sure, but it exudes confidence. He’s toast. She has no fear. She was born to kill these fiends. She’s a slayer. Spike and Dana fight. He still thinks he’s trying to get a demon to appear. But she knows the rules. She grabs a splinter of wood and tries to plunge it into his chest. He grabs her hand and prevents the piercing. She speaks to him in Chinese, words he’s heard before. He even replies with the exact same words he used over one hundred years ago, “Sorry love, I don’t speak Chinese”, but still he doesn’t realise, doesn’t make the connection with what has gone before. He doesn’t realise that he’s been thrust back in time and is fighting his slayer from the Boxer Rebellion all over again. This one has a different outcome. Spike ends up being thrown out a window, landing with a thud and a shower of glass on the concrete below as Angel finally arrives on the scene.

Somewhere between that alley and the Wolfram and Hart office Angel tells Spike exactly what the problem is; a psychotic slayer:

Angel:  And you let her get away.  Spike: At least I was trying to stop her.  Angel: Oh, how'd that work out?  Spike: At least I know the game, now, don't I? I killed two slayers with my own hands. Think I can handle one that's gone daft in the melon. 

Those slayers are still his claim to fame, even with the soul. They are something that even the great Angelus can’t boast. Once it was about killing them, chasing the most challenging fights, fights with no certainty of victory, for the sheer thrill. Now he’s saying he can find Dana because he knows slayers; knows them better than Angel. But Angel doesn’t want his help:

Angel: You're not handling anything, Spike. OK? Wes contacted Rupert Giles. He's sending his top guy to retrieve her

Notice that word ‘retrieve’ - “He's sending his top guy to retrieve her”, we’ll come back to that later too. They enter the conference room. Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne are already assembled. Oh, and Rupert Giles’ “top guy” is none other than Andrew, one time third of the evil trio who was reluctantly adopted into Buffy’s gang after he expressed willingness to alter his wicked ways. Andrew spins around in his swivel chair and is stunned to see Spike. He’s happy to see Spike . . . okay ecstatic might be more accurate:

Andrew: Spike?  It's you. It's really you! My therapist thought I was holding onto false hope, but... I knew you'd come back. You're like... you're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever. Ohh... he's alive, Frodo. He's alive. 

Andrew holds Spike in an emotional embrace, touches his face in awe and wonder then hugs him again and Spike … lets him. No words of rejection, no words designed to humiliate. Oh sure, Spike’s a little discomfited by this public display of affection but he doesn’t tell Andrew to stop. He endures it with good grace. Angel watches all this closely, with a guarded expression on his face. Here he is forced to see another perspective of Spike via someone who loves and values him, who is happy that he has managed to defy the ultimate death. And it has to be said, the comparison to Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings trilogy is priceless. Gandalf, a hobbit loving wizard, prone to bad habits that prevented his ascension to higher status until the sacrifice of his life to save his companions allows him to finally move from ‘grey’ to ‘white’. That someone, (including by implication Buffy) might view Spike as this glorious is strange and disturbing to Angel. It’s yet another contradiction to his staunchly held belief that Spike is incapable of change and that the whole ‘good’ Spike is nothing but a charade. Additionally, it’s also a little bit more confirmation of all those subconscious fears he's been feeling - fears of irrelevancy, failure, fears he’s been battling since he made the deal with Wolfram and Hart, that were exacerbated by Spike’s big comeback. Andrew, of course, wants to know how this is possible, but Angel, not wanting to be reminded of Spike’s other claim to fame, tells them to save the trip down memory lane for later. 

Andrew, ever the storyteller, gives the group the low down on slayer mythology. Nothing they didn’t already know, except for a deeper explanation of the phenomenon of slayer dreams (as shown in the original film of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and how potential slayers experience vivid dreams of the heroics of slayers past as preparation for the possibility of becoming the one and only Chosen One. Dana is therefore at the mercy of her dreams. She has no capacity to separate fantasy from reality, dream slayers from herself, past from present. 

Andrew’s approach to Angel and his people does him no favours. He adopts his storytelling persona, imparts information that is known, cheekily denigrates Wesley and his ex-watcher status. It is quite clear that he is not Giles’ ‘top guy’ and Team Angel must suspect that they have been fobbed off with a substitute. Angel is openly sarcastic while the others snicker and roll their eyes at his antics. Lorne gets the discussion back on track by asking:

Lorne: Uh, wait. So if there's only one slayer, what is little miss whack-your-head-off doing scampering around? 

But hang on, didn’t Lorne spend a good portion of the season four episode “Orpheus” (A4.15) nursing Faith, a second vampire slayer, as she fought the effects of a powerful demon drug? Is this forgetfulness a consequence of the memory wipe or an inelegantly phrased inquiry as to Faith’s possible demise? (Or, the short memory of the script writer?) To answer the question, “Little Sunnydale surprise” Spike supplies with a nod of his head towards Andrew, encouraging him to continue with his tale:

Andrew:  Six months ago, Buffy, Vampyr Slayer extraordinaire, had her lesbian witch make with the beaucoup de magie. One light show later...  Angel: All the potentials become slayers. 

It is open to interpretation as to whether Angel knew about the ‘Sunnydale surprise’ beforehand. If his words are read as completing Andrew’s explanation then, he does indeed already know about it but has failed to share this information with anybody in his team, not even Wesley, who as a former Watcher would naturally be interested in such a huge development. If his words are translated as anticipating the rest of Andrew’s sentence, then this means that he didn’t know and that he’s only learning about it now along with everybody else. This would also mean that Buffy hadn’t told him - Told him about Spike’s demise, but not about the expansion of the sisterhood. Either way, kinda big details are being left out by somebody. Wesley is full of admiration for the strategy describing it as ‘brilliant’. But then by wondering how hundreds of slayers could possibly receive their proper training without the aid of the Watcher’s Council betrays his stance on how the Watcher-Slayer dynamic should work. Once a Watcher…

But Wes need not worry; Mr. Giles and a few key Sunnydale alumni have been busy rounding up the recently chosen. Andrew claims Dana is an anomaly that no one could have foreseen but that’s not strictly true. Surely the possibility that not every potential was equipped for a life of Slayerdom should have occurred to them? During season seven of Buffy the potentials that arrived at Revello Drive came from very different spheres of life, different circumstances. Transfer this to a world scale, post-empowerment and it is not only possible, but indeed likely that some chosen ones would have problems or issues that make them unsuitable for the duty. And, hey, does anyone remember an ‘anomaly’ called Faith? Surely her history alone made the possibility of a ‘Dana’ or others like her a realistic consideration. 

What we are really seeing here is the consequences of the Sunnydale spell. In season seven, Buffy came up with the idea of empowering the potentials as a last resort. She had a mission and that’s all that mattered. Her need was immediate. Magically activating the Potentials allowed her to wage war on behalf of the world. She gave a stirring speech, offered them a choice, and gave them power. That was fine for the girls who were there, in the living room with Buffy but the spell was far more far reaching, affecting girls all over the world and therefore so are the consequences. Dana is one exploration of this, ‘The Chain'' written by Joss Whedon (Dark Horse Comics, Season 8, #5) is another in which the unnamed Slayer specifically says she didn’t get a choice, she got chosen. The empowerment spell was not all cake and ice-cream because, as Spike once warned, there are always consequences with magic. Unfortunately for Dana, the result of the empowerment is that she’s no longer an innocent victim, kept quiet and safe in her hospital ward, now she is a murderer, a super strong killer with no moral boundaries. Her power has allowed her to choose (with her impaired capabilities) not to be weak, but in doing so she chooses to use that strength to kill. 

So, when they put all the information together, Dana’s sudden awakening, the super strength, the dreams, the languages, the instinctual ability, it all makes perfect sense:

Spike: Explains why that skirt was yapping at me in Chinese. Must've thought she was the slayer I took out back in the Boxer Rebellion.

Causing Angel to take a pot shot from his vantage point way, way up on the high moral ground: 

Angel: You mean the slayer you murdered. 

Like he’s innocent of heinous crimes just because he hasn’t killed a slayer! It’s like the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. And one might argue that in the case of slayers, at least Spike went for targets that knew the score, could fight back, defend themselves, and had a better than average chance of actually winning. And for Spike, with the risk came the thrill. Not like Angelus who chose his victims for entirely different purposes. Different routes, same objective, even when they were evil. Spike excuses his past actions by virtue of the fact that he didn’t have a soul then to which Angel replies:

Angel: Right, 'cause having one now is making such a difference

It’s the ultimate insult. The denigration of his hard-won soul is too much for Spike to take and once again, Angel’s slur drives him from the room. He leaves the corporates to it, determined to get the job done himself. To his credit, Angel seems to realise that he’s gone too far. He follows Spike into the foyer to stop his rash departure, arguing that they are the last two people who should be confronting Dana because she is a slayer who doesn’t understand the existence of good Vampyrs, and that she exists solely to kill their kind:

Spike:  Dance of death. Eternal struggle. Right. Got it.

He’s danced this dance before; it’s all he’s ever done. 

Angel: You will...when she's staking you in the heart. 

And if we suspected it before, thought we sensed the echo, now we’re certain. A conversation had in a mineshaft over a hundred years before still resonates with meaning and significance all the way here in the twenty-first century:

Spike: Yeah, you know what I prefer to being hunted? Getting caught. Angelus: That's a brilliant strategy really... pure cunning. Spike: Sod off! Come on. When was the last time you unleashed it? All out fight in a mob, back against the wall, nothing but fists and fangs? Don't you ever get tired of fights you know you're going to win? Angelus: No. A real kill. A good kill. It takes pure artistry. Without that, we're just animals.

The threat of a stake doesn’t deter the impetuous Spike. He quickly corrects Angel’s misconception that he doesn’t know what he’s dealing with: 

Spike: What do you want me to do? Go all boo-hoo 'cause she got tortured and driven out of her gourd? Not like we haven't done worse back in the day.  Angel: Yeah, and it's something I'm still paying for.  Spike: And you should let it go, mate. It's starting to make you look old

One can’t get his eyes off the victims, only with the soul they afford no pleasure; it translates into infinite remorse, it drives his quest for redemption. The other can’t spare a backward glance. The thrill was in the chase, the fight and besides, that guy, the one who did that bit-o-bad, he simply doesn’t exist anymore, won’t return, no need to look back is there, can’t change it anyway. Again, we have a situation in which Spike and Angel could learn a lesson from the other. Angel is too fixated with what he was, what he still could be. While for Spike the occasional look behind him would subdue that well practiced arrogance and increase his compassion for the helpless he’s trying to help.

Dana is down at the docks. She’s alone and she’s scared and remembering the past; a dark room, a metal box, herself as a child, screaming. The memories upset her. A dock worker sees her, asks her if she needs some help. He’s trying to help but Dana doesn’t understand. At Wolfram and Hart Angel has the team on deck but its slow going:

Angel: M-maybe Spike was right. Maybe we should just get out there and find her. 

Okay, so when Spike’s not around Angel can admit he’s not a complete moron and also, maybe, he’s just a little bit envious, that Spike’s out there working the streets while he’s constrained by his gilded cage. But Fred asks a pertinent question. Then what? What do they do with her once they’ve found her? It does raise the question of what Spike will do with her once he finds her; suspect he didn’t think that far ahead.  He’s too determined to prove a point to think about minor details like how to restrain a psychotic vampire slayer. Even with Wolfram and Harts copious resources there is no quick fix, no way to find the girl with any precision. Lorne suggests talking to the house where it all began, Dana’s childhood home. Angel wants to get Andrew in on the plan, but he is nowhere to be found. Andrew, of course, has followed his hero.

Spike: What are you doing out here, Andrew?  Andrew:  This is where the action is, bro, on the mean streets. Can you dig it? 

Spike makes one attempt to get Andrew to go away because there is no time for games, this is a serious situation, but Andrew argues that he’s changed too. He’s stronger, faster, 82% more manly but ruins the effect by tripping over Dana’s latest victim (the unfortunate dock worker) and going to jelly.

At Dana’s house Angel and Lorne have enlisted the services of a psychic to communicate with the house. He touches the walls and feels fear, pain and anguish, sees flashes of Dana’s parents and a baby sibling being tormented and killed. He needed them to suffer. And for a fleeting moment we feel the presence of Angelus, another killer who needed his victims to suffer. They share a modus operandi. The psychic continues. He sees a flash of a little girl, trying to be invisible, silent as she hides under the bed, but the predator senses her all the same. Suddenly there’s the shadow of a little girl in a coal bin trying to be quiet (Crush, B5.14) and do you have any idea of what he’s done to girls Dawn’s age (Never Leave Me, B7.09). It’s not difficult to realise that Dana could be the product of Angel or Spike. That Dana is a prime example of the handy-work they used to undertake, that they were experts in the art of killing. It’s easy to forget what they were, back in the day, but Dana reminds us. It can be uncomfortable having a couple of vampires as the central heroes of the text. But the psychic is able to provide one last pair of clues – molasses and a basement.

Dana descends some stairs to a dingy, dirty basement. It’s a place she knows. She has returned to the scene of the crime, to where her pain lives. She goes to an old vent, removes the grill and retrieves a metal box. In the box is a collection of vials and hypodermic syringes. As she looks at the contents of the box she has a flash of memory, of a man taking a needle, preparing it for use. ”Let’s try the blue one this time”, says her captor as he kneels before a trembling little Dana. And then we see what we’ve been half expecting. Her tormentor is Spike. 

Andrew and Spike walk along the docks and finally we get some news on the Scoobies, even if it is just a smidgen. Xander is in Africa, Willow is in Brazil. Giles is most likely in London, judging by the Union Jack on Andrew’s sandwich bag. Andrew asks what blood smells like; Spike tells him it is metallic, like sucking on a penny. But it’s not the topic of conversation that’s interesting here, it’s the communication. Andrew asks a question, Spike answers. No sarcasm, no annoyance, just honest answers. It allows Spike to ask about the one person he really wants to know about:

Spike: So, uh...you heard from Buffy lately?  Andrew: Yeah. Of course, uh...she's in Rome. Dawn's in school there. Italian school. 

Apparently she was rounding up slayers in Italy and decided she liked it. She needed a break from California. And the other Scoobies, judging by the far-flung locations of the globe they are all residing. Then Andrew realises:

Andrew: …Wait a minute. She doesn't know you're alive, does she?  Spike:  I don't think so. I mean... I don't know. Does she?  Andrew: No. N-no. She can't. I mean... I—I would've heard about it. We would've had a conference call. Why haven't you told her?  Spike: "Hello, Buffy. It's Spike. I didn't burn up like you thought. How are things?"  Andrew: Uh...do you want me to tell her? 'Cause I—I'm really good with those...uh, delicate personal—  Spike: No. Don't tell her. I'll take care of it.

But he doesn’t. Spike doesn’t tell Buffy that he’s alive and other things get in the way, and we’re left with the assumption that Andrew does in fact spill the beans because by the time Spike and Buffy do come face to face once more, she knows and has known for some time (Season 8 #36/37).  So, they continue to walk the mean streets together. Dana watches them from a rooftop very much as Spike did to Angel in `In the Dark” (A1.03). The hunted has become the hunter.

So, what we really have here is a study of two relationships. Two sets of metaphorical brothers if you will. The first Angel and Spike have a long and checkered history. It’s a relationship that has been founded on a hierarchy, a dominance-subservience dynamic that has tainted the whole connection. It’s competitive, it’s untrusting, it’s sometimes violent. It brings out the worst in both Angel and Spike. Angel is always at his petty best, his most arrogant, his most dictatorial when Spike is in the room. And Spike, well he is just painfully obnoxious, annoying and snarky whenever Angel is in the vicinity. We know it’s just Angel that brings out these traits so profoundly. The writers have been at pains to show us this. His dealings with other people, with Fred, with Pavaynne, with Eve, with Lindsey and with Andrew demonstrate this. When he’s interacting with others, good, bad or indifferent, then we get to see the real Spike, Buffy season seven Spike. The really affecting aspect of Spike and Angel’s relationship is that, beneath the surface, beneath the cycle of rejection, vicious words and taunting there is real longing. While this is particularly obvious on Spike’s side it’s not completely absent from Angel either. Spike longs for recognition and acceptance from Angel, wants it more than just about anything.  Angelus was always a source of inspiration to the younger vampire and the addition of a soul, and a change of team hasn’t changed that. But for Angel, Spike has the potential to be an ally, someone who understands what it means to be a vampire with a soul in this world of evil. He is a source of hope that the demon inside can be defeated, he is a son to be proud of, he’s a legacy… and yet, Angel cannot bring himself to see anything but what was. Angel has his blinkers on and refuses to take them off, so the relationship is prevented from moving forward because of Angel’s steadfast refusal to accept that Spike has changed and acknowledge him as an equal. So instead, it stays mired in the same repetitive, unproductive pattern of butting heads, mocking and denial. 

In complete contrast to this is the Spike and Andrew dynamic. Spike and Andrew’s relationship is of a shorter duration and is certainly not as intense as Spike and Angel’s is, but it can still teach a lesson or two. Spike first encountered Andrew when he asked Warren Mears to examine his chip in “Smashed” (B6.09). Unbeknownst to Spike, Andrew, Jonathan and Warren had recently decided to team up to become super villains and take over Sunnydale. Andrew made no impact on Spike whatsoever, but the vampire left a strong impression on Andy. In “Entropy” (B6.18) when the trio see a video feed of Spike and Anya engaged in sexual intercourse, Andrew’s first observation is that Spike is ‘so cool’. Later when he’s doing the First Evil’s bidding in “Sleeper” (B7.08) he dresses like Spike to build confidence, long leather duster and all. In “Never Leave Me” (B7.09), Spike, himself under the influence of the First, takes a great hulking chunk out of Andrew’s neck. For the remainder of the season, they are two of the many house guests at Revello Drive, Andrew as a ‘guestage’ and Spike as the basement dwelling vampire in residence. In Empty Places (B7.19) they are sent on a covert mission together to find out more about the evil Caleb. Where others at the house lose patience with Andrew easily, Spike displays tolerance and fortitude (except when it is finally exhausted by a not very inspiring game of 'I Spy'). There is a lot of sub-textual empathy there too. Both know what it is like to be rejected, outsiders on the periphery of the Scoobies. Andrew lives vicariously through popular culture and Spike, the television addict, gets all those references, understands why he does it – he just keeps his inner geek on a much tighter leash than Andrew does. You see, in Andrew, Spike sees his human-self reflected. Andrew is what William would have been had he been born 150 years later. Where William expressed himself through bad poetry, so Andrew expresses himself through analogy with comics and films; each is a geek, but one that is a product of their time. This connection, this similarity is particularly strong in this episode. The physical resemblance between Andrew and Spike, (in the flashbacks to 1880 in Destiny) the hair, the colouring, are too obvious to ignore. Andrew here is Spike’s metaphorical little brother and Spike could give Angel a lesson on how this brother thing is done. Patience, kindness, acceptance, honesty; these are the things that productive relationships are based on and Spike and Andrew show it.

Angel is back at the office and believes the key to finding Dana is to know more about her abductor, his name, his past, his whereabouts. Meanwhile Andrew and Spike have followed the trail of Dana into a dead end. Dana appears, knocks Spike aside and as Andrew is about to shoot her with a tranquiliser dart, knocks him out cold with a swift kick. Dana turns tail and runs out of the alley. Spike gets to his feet and chases after her. Dana lures him into her basement. She stands on the far side of the room looking nervous, scared. Spike tells her that he’s got her scent locked in, could track her for miles. “No escaping” Dana observes. “No escaping” Spike concurs. But exactly who’s not escaping is not so clear. No escaping for little Dana chained in the basement, no escaping for Spike who has been deliberately lured there, no escaping for slayer Dana who is a danger to herself and anyone unlucky enough to cross her path. This basement is the point of convergence for so many past events, it’s no wonder the roles get a bit confused.

In his approach to Dana Spike is surprisingly calm and gentle. He doesn’t want to hurt her, he even tells Dana he used to date a girl who wasn’t all there to try and gain her confidence, put her at ease. He also tries to explain why she has the visions, why she’s confused about who she is. But Dana is beyond comprehending any of this, she has too many personas fighting for control, confusing her:

Dana: Heart...and head. Have to get home. Doesn't hurt if you hold still

She talks as the slayer she is; a slayer past; as victim; as predator. And for Spike it’s not that much better. For him Dana represents mad Drusilla, the Chinese slayer, Niki Woods and Buffy all rolled into one. All these women who’ve in some way shaped and defined who he was, challenging him to redefine who he is now. Dana recognises him as what he was:

Dana: William the Bloody.  Spike:  No. No. No. That's not gonna lead anywhere good. You want to focus on what's real.

You want to focus on what’s real. Sure, it’s real enough that he killed the slayers once upon a time, but that Spike, that William the Bloody, simply doesn’t exist anymore, is not real anymore. This Spike, the real Spike is trying to help her; will help her if she’ll let him. But Dana is beyond help. She repeats the actions of her abductor. She drugs Spike, chains him up and tortures him, takes him apart bit by bit all the while repeating her tormentor's words – ‘don’t cry, they can’t hear you. Daddy’s gone. He can’t hear you. Piece by piece, yellow makes you weak, brown makes you sleepy.’ But then she says “Can’t hurt me anymore” and that’s the real Dana speaking. She’s trying to rewrite history, change it; make everything better.

At Wolfram and Hart they are still looking. Tactical are following the body trail but so far haven’t found her so Angel orders aerial surveillance, thermal imaging in to help to find her. The team decides to look at old city maps, for a distillery that might account for the smell of molasses. But none of it is necessary. Andrew appears:

Andrew: We were attacked. I think she got him. I think she got Spike.

Spike wakes. He is groggy but not confused. He knows that Dana has done something to him, though he’s not sure what. Dana still parrots her abuser telling Spike that if he stays quiet she’ll let him go. She’s holding her trusty saw again, looking a bit confused:

Dana: Losing all your pieces. Not weak….Can't touch me anymore.

Spike lifts his arms to reveal that his lower arms and hands have been sawn off. This is vengeance pure and simple. Dana has been wronged and, by sheer luck she was granted the power to fight back, to get revenge on the man who destroyed her. Now she’s able to fight back against her childhood weakness, against the fact that she was powerless:

Dana:  No more daddy... no more mommy... no more hands. Can't touch me ever again.

But Spike doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He never touched her and he tells her so. Dana punches him for his insolence:

Spike: Stop. Stop. You got it wrong. Your brain's all jumbled. I never hurt you. It wasn't me. I've done my share of bad, but you're not one of 'em. It's someone else. You've got me confused with another man.

Spike admits he’s done wrong but he won’t wear the blame for Dana’s abuse. He doesn’t extend to her the right of judgement, that distinction he already gave that to another slayer, while he was chained in another basement, but that slayer offered mercy and faith whereas this one can only show malice. Spike tries to explain, that her memories and dreams are mixing, confusing her. Dana seems to comprehend. She listens, has some flashes of memory of Spike carrying her across the room but that memory is replaced by another, another man carrying her exactly the same way, another man, not Spike. But she still has memories of Spike. She speaks in Chinese again. 

Spike: Yeah. That's what you're remembering—other slayers.  Dana:  You killed her.  Spike:  yes, but… Dana:  You killed them both.  Spike:  That and worse. But I was never here.

In that moment, Dana understands, has a moment of clarity. She understands that she is not the other girls she sees in her dreams. They are separate and distinct. Now she is just a slayer and Spike is a vampire who has just made a very dangerous admission. She is a slayer and she intends to punish him for killing those girls, her sister slayers:

Dana:  Doesn't matter! Head and heart. Keep cutting till you see dust.

Before Dana can finish him off Angel arrives and forcibly thrusts her across the room. Angel tries to reason with her:

Angel:  Dana...look, I'm here to help you. The man who tried to hurt you? His name is Walter Kindel. He tried to rob a liquor store 5 years ago, and the police shot him. He—he's dead, Dana.

For Angel the all-important scales are balanced. The man who hurt Dana has received his just rewards. He’s dead. He can’t hurt her anymore. It should be simple, but it’s not. Dana is angry, she’s not weak anymore. She’s strong; slayer. A slayer with no rationale for what she does or why except for personal pain and an intuitive urge to kill the monsters, kill them all... and so she attacks. She lunges at Angel and they fight. At an opportune moment Angel holds Dana tightly and signals to Wesley to pump her full of tranquilisers. Only when Dana is under control, only then does Angel look at Spike, see his predicament and instantly orders medical aid. Fred sees Spike into the ambulance. He’s lucky; Wolfram and Hart have access to all kinds of medical procedures that will make re-attaching his hands a snap. Wesley and Angel emerge next with Dana, sedated and restrained on a gurney. Where they are taking her, what they are going to do with her is not made clear. It doesn’t matter. Andrew arrives on the scene saying he’ll take it from here:

Angel:  What?  Andrew: Totally appreciate your help on this one, big guy. Never could've found her without you, but you got enough problems of your own to worry about.  Angel:  Get outta the way, Andrew. 

But, that was the deal wasn’t it? Rupert Giles sent his top man to retrieve Dana, not Rupert Giles sent his top man to help catch Dana. Retrieve: to get back, regain, recover, reclaim. Angel knew this was the plan, so when did he change his mind? When he saw that Andrew was obviously not the ‘top man’ promised? When he saw that Andrew loved Spike?

“She’s one of ours, she’s a slayer”, Andrew says. He draws a line, divides them but Angel’s not buying it. That’s not how it works, Angel rescues, Angel helps the helpless. He doesn’t just do the retrieval work for others, and he certainly doesn’t hand them over to the likes of Andrew! But Andy has more balls than Angel gave him credit for. He won’t step down; he faces off with Angel:

Andrew: No. I don't think you... heard me, Angel. Think we're just gonna let you take her back to your evil stronghold? Well, as they say in Mexico... No. We're not...gonna... let you. 

Angel is equally as stubborn. He refuses to turn her over voluntarily. He doesn’t consider Andrew worthy or capable. But Andrew has backup. A dozen young women, slayers all, emerge from the darkness to stand behind him. Angel is still dismissive, Andy’s out of his league, doesn’t know the score. He’ll just clear this with Buffy. To which Andrew delivers his knockout argument, the fatal truth:

Andrew:  Where do you think my orders came from? News flash—nobody in our camp trusts you anymore. Nobody. You work for Wolfram & Hart. Don't fool yourself... we're not on the same side. Thank you for your help... but, uh...we got it.

Now that’s a kick in the guts he wasn’t expecting. The girl, the slayer, who set him on his path, gave him direction after countless years of aimless wandering in the wilderness; Buffy doesn’t trust him anymore because he works for Wolfram and Hart. That’s his problem. That’s the big problem he has to worry about. That his tenure at Wolfram and Hart has compromised him, made him untrustworthy even to those who had seemingly unshakable faith. That’s how far he’s come, or been taken, so far now that he’s facing in the opposite direction to Buffy and her people; they’re on opposite sides of the line. Big problem indeed. Angel is crushed to realise it, he can’t even argue. Andrew takes Dana into the care of the Chosen sisterhood.

Buffy has a very strong sub-textual presence in this episode. Andrew brings her with him when he arrives at Wolfram and Hart. She’s walking on the docks with Andrew and Spike too. She’s all Spike wants to know about, yet he won’t allow himself to reconnect. But she’s with Spike in the basement as he’s chained up, maimed, damaged and judged. She provides a positive image to Dana’s negative. And she’s there, bold as brass, almost tangible as she withdraws her trust from Angel. This last act caused much discussion within fan communities. Many wondered why Buffy would not help Angel when he was obviously in trouble, some even speculated that Andrew was lying, spurred on by his loyalty to Spike, and that Buffy and Angel’s relationship was business as usual. In reality, the loss of Buffy’s allegiance is not so surprising. Angel has told no one the real reason that he is at Wolfram and Hart. He’s had memories wiped to ensure that it stays a secret. This would include anyone in Buffy’s camp who knew about Connor (Faith and Willow certainly, the others, no definitive confirmation is ever given). So as far as Buffy is concerned the fact that he is working for Wolfram and Hart, evil incorporated, makes him untrustworthy. They may suspect an ulterior motive, or a reason behind the move, but because Angel hasn’t shared any information, they can’t afford to take the risk. The season eight comics have revealed that Buffy is viewed as a wanted terrorist and that they are experiencing some problems with a few of the newly chosen. At this stage Buffy has to be especially careful of whom she trusts, and Wolfram and Hart are not a first-choice ally, even with Angel in charge of one division. Wouldn’t the senior partners love to co-opt a few of those slayers for themselves? Very dangerous indeed. Buffy is right to be cautious and once again, we are shown the dangers, the consequences of poor communication. 

Angel goes to the hospital and finds Spike, hands freshly reattached, in a reflective mood. He says the pain he’s experiencing is just what he deserves:

Spike: The lass thought I killed her family. And I'm supposed to what, complain 'cause hers wasn't one of the hundreds of families I did kill? ...... For a demon... I never did think that much about the nature of evil. No. Just threw myself in. Thought it was a party. I liked the rush. I liked the crunch. Never did look back at the victims.

Fist and fangs, back against the wall…

And finally, Angel gives a little in return, completes the connection, tells Spike some truth about himself:

Angel:  I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in it for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art. The destruction of a human being; I would've considered Dana a masterpiece.

A good kill, it takes pure artistry…

What we once were informs all that we have become, yup, Darla really was onto something there. Spike asks after Dana to which Angel admits:

Angel: I don't know. Um, Andrew and the slayers took her. Didn't trust us to help her

Us? Doesn’t trust us? That’s not strictly true, is it? It wasn’t Andrew that didn’t trust, it was Buffy and it’s not ‘us’, it’s you. Just you Angel. She doesn’t even know Spike is alive, though one suspects it wouldn’t make a difference. Spike doesn’t work for Wolfram and Hart. Angel does. 

Spike:  Andrew double-crossed us? That's a good move. Hope for the little ponce yet

Spike is just happy to be included in the ‘us’ with Angel so he can overlook the untruth, though he is genuinely proud of Andrew’s move. Well, that’s what big brothers do; they take pride in the actions of the younger one. Trusts Andrew to get her some help:  

Spike: Though the tingling in my forearms tells me she's too far gone to help. She's...one of us now. She's a monster. 

Angel is indignant on Dana’s behalf. She’s an innocent victim in all this. She’s helpless – it’s not her fault. To which Spike replies:

So were we... once upon a time.

Don’t misunderstand this statement. Spike’s not arguing that he and Angel are blameless for their actions because they were once the innocent victims of Darla and Drusilla. He’s saying that it’s possible to be both. That just because Dana started out as an innocent it doesn’t mean she’s not capable of monstrous deeds too. He doesn’t idealise his helpless the way that Angel does. 

So as Damage closes, we leave Angel at very low ebb. Hope has receded completely, he is alone, isolated and mistrusted by his symbolic saviour. He knows he’s got a big problem but has no direction to get himself out of the labyrinth. His compass needle is spinning too fast. He needs . . . someone to get him back on track . . . 

He needs . . . 

Cordelia. 

Next up - 5.12 - You're Welcome

[medilabware]

Surgical Instrument Trolley

Enhance your surgical suite with Medilabware's Surgical Instrument Trolley. Precision-engineered for reliability and ease of use, this trolley keeps crucial instruments at hand in a secure, orderly fashion. Built with top-tier materials, it offers exceptional durability and smooth maneuverability. Trust Medilabware to support peak performance in the most demanding medical environments.

[genius-built-donatello]

[The light is too bright.

Which is really the least of his worries, when he considers the trolley of surgical tools and the cool iron bands around his wrists, strapping him to the unfeeling surface of the operating table. But it does give him something to focus on, especially when it became harder and harder to ignore Bishop’s watchful presence in the corner and the constant hum of the equipment and the hands that were getting closer and closer and-

When the light flickers, hours later - has it been hours? It might as well have been minutes. Might have been days - he’s vaguely made aware that he hasn’t breathed in a while.

He forces himself to take a breath now - a sharp inhale that sends barbs down his throat and makes his whole chest chest ache with pain, and he has to cough just to force himself not to seize up. The sudden movement makes his head spin, and his brain helpfully rattles up ‘blood loss’ in its haze.

His head hits the table again with a clang, and then the room is silent again. Completely silent, save for Don’s shaky breaths. There’s no reassuring hum of his tech, no weight of his battleshell or his cloak or his goggles.

All he has are the bindings on his wrist, his quickly-retreating mind, and his own cool blood pooling on the table. It takes another few minutes for him to realise he’s shaking. Probably from the aforementioned blood loss.

He doesn’t want to die. Not here. Not alone.]

[serenanymph]

Dragon game: scales

Scales: share a snippet that describes something. (can be a person, a place, a feeling, etc.)

from the dragon ask game! yall I'm still not writing I think I'm about to start running out of snippets. anyway have another sol excerpt

“Hey.” Mateo grins, not quite able to cover up his wince. “I’m okay, Sol – really. Bastards took me by surprise, but the wounds aren’t all that serious. I’ll be back up and running before you know it!”

Mateo is covered in bandages. Wrapped around the side of his head, his chest, his legs and arms. Second-degree burns, Verida had said. A concussion. Fractures, broken bones, cracked ribs, both legs splinted, right arm in a sling.

Mateo’s smile falters. “Sol?”

Around them, doctors and nurses bustle around, carrying bandages and medicine and trolleys full of surgical equipment, scalpels and needles and bloodied wads of cloth in metal dishes. The infirmary is packed to overflowing, spare cots wheeled in, beds pushed close together and privacy curtains removed, patients lying on mats on the ground, on every spare inch of space the floor can afford. Even then, it spills outside, through the wide-open doors and down both sides of the corridors – all the way to the mess hall, which has also been cleared for more space. And then there’s the reports of similar happenings in the two hospitals in the sector, not to mention the mishmash of clinics. Injured civilians and soldiers just keep coming in. The number of missing persons have barely reduced. Destruction rates are sky-high.

All this, because of a door blown wide open, a single, measly hole in Ai’s defenses, and a handful of Witchrisen. The night and the cold and the amount of magic the Reaper’s Scythe had used earlier had only worsened the situation. Knowing them, they’d done it on purpose. Used their vile curse to lure the monsters into the city and then let them wreak hell. He can still feel the phantom sting of the cut on his cheek, where the vampire – their leader, apparently – had gotten in a hit while he was defending Creed’s back.

beast taglist (lmk if you want to be +/-): @sapphos-scientist, @allianaavelinjackson, @arctic-oceans, @space-writes, @reneesbooks

[torposopla]

Tree of Hope, Remain Strong, 1946 by Frida Kahlo

After Frida returned to Mexico from the United States, she was staying in bed for a while and then wearing a steel corset for eight months. But her health condition has been worsening instead of improving. She got sharp pains in her spine and lost her appetite due to the long-lasting pain. But she still paints and in a letter she wrote to her friend, she mentioned this painting, Tree of Hope, 1946 as "nothing but the result of the damned operation!"

In this painting, under the gloomy sky, the sun and moon divided the background into two halves of light and dark. In the middle, Frida was sitting there and weeping in a read Tehuana costume. Nevertheless she seems strong and confident. Behind her on a hospital trolley, lying a second Frida, who is anesthetized and her surgical incisions still open and dripping with blood. Frida was holding a pink orthopedic corset while sitting in the wooden chair. On her other hand, she was holding a flag which has words from a song ""Cielito Lindo" - "Tree of Hope, Remain Strong."

On the flagpole, there is a red tip that looks like a surgical instrument stained with blood, or a paintbrush dipped in red paint. The barren landscape behind her has two fissures which is metaphor of the wounds on her back. Frida painted this painting for her patron Eduardo Morillo Safa. In a letter to him, Frida mentioned: "There is a skeleton (or death) that flees in the face of my will to live." But she later removed the skeleton to please Eduardo. But she cannot eliminate the menace of death. In this portrait, by putting two Frida's images together, one is a victim of the botched tragedy, the other is the heroic survivor, Frida used it as a retablo and an act of faith. Frida takes charge of her destiny and becomes her own saver and hero.

Tree of Hope Painting by Frida Kahlo The Substance (2024) dir. Carolie Fargeat

[max-logistics]

Medical Equipment Exporter in Udaipur | Importer

The Increasing Demand for Quality Healthcare: Medical Device Exporters and Importers in Udaipur

In today's rapidly evolving healthcare world, the demand for quality, reliable medical equipment has never been greater. For diagnosis, treatment, patient care, or hospital facilities, medical devices are the pillars of any properly structured healthcare system. This growing demand has opened up new opportunities for firms operating in the business of medical equipment trade — both domestically and internationally. One such new hub for this trade in India is Udaipur, a city that is not only renowned for its rich heritage but also for its fast-emerging industrial and healthcare sectors.

Understanding the Importance of Medical Equipment Trade Medical devices include a wide range of products — from basic diagnostic equipment such as thermometers and blood pressure monitors to advanced equipment such as MRI scanners, ventilators, and surgical robots. The healthcare industry depends to a great extent on the punctual delivery of these devices for staying efficient and delivering high-quality patient care.

As demand grows globally, professional importers and exporters capable of fulfilling global standards and managing logistics of medical equipment have become extremely important. This is where a Medical Equipment Exporter in Udaipur | Importer can come into play.

Udaipur – Emerging Hub for Medical Equipment Trade Historically renowned for tourism and culture, Udaipur recently witnessed rapid growth in its industrial and healthcare sectors. The favorable geography of the city, improved infrastructure, and higher concentration of clinics and hospitals make Udaipur a viable place for companies which deal in the business of medical equipment.

The arrival of professional businesses in Udaipur as Importers and Exporters of Medical Equipment has internationalized the region. These businesses are bridging the gap between outstanding medical technologies and institutions which need them the most.

What Does a Medical Equipment Exporter in Udaipur | Importer Do? A Udaipur exporter of medical equipment is responsible for importing, packaging, and exporting certified medical devices and instruments to other countries around the world. On the other hand, as an importer, the company imports sophisticated medical equipment from leading international manufacturers and makes them available to Indian hospitals and medical centers.

Its main responsibilities are:

Sourcing and quality inspection products

Compliance with regulations (CE, FDA, ISO certificates)

Packaging and safe transportation

Customs clearance and documentation

After-sales services and support

By acting as a Medical Equipment Importer | Exporter in Udaipur, businesses contribute to improving health standards at the national and international levels.

Range of Products Exported and Imported Medical equipment importers and exporters typically deal with a range of products, such as:

Diagnostic Devices (Ultrasound, ECG, X-ray Machines)

Surgical Instruments (Retractors, Scissors, Forceps)

ICU & Critical Care Devices (Ventilators, Patient Monitors)

Laboratory Devices (Microscopes, Centrifuges)

Hospital Furniture (Trolleys, Stretchers, Beds)

Personal Protective Equipment (Gloves, Masks, PPE Kits)

Dental & Orthopedic Devices

Rehabilitation Aids (Wheelchairs, Walkers)

All these varied services guarantee that medical centers receive end-to-end solutions for their clinical and operational needs.

Why Choose a Medical Equipment Exporter in Udaipur | Importer? Several reasons make Udaipur exporters and importers very reliable and competitive:

1. Strategic Location Udaipur is strategically placed with road, rail, and air connectivity, which simplifies shipping and transporting bulk medical equipment.

2. Competitive Pricing Due to lower operational costs and being close to regional manufacturing allies, Udaipur companies can deliver high-quality products at lower prices.

3. Skilled Workforce Availability With the increased number of technical schools within and near Udaipur, a talent pool consisting of professionals well-known with the technical and regulatory specification of medical devices has been created.

4. Global Certifications All Udaipur exporters and importers ensure their products adhere to international quality standards, and hence they are exportable to foreign nations.

5. Customized Customer Service Udaipur exporters focus on long-term relationship and provide excellent pre-sales and post-sales services, customizations, and training wherever required.

Problems in Medical Equipment Trade Although the opportunities are vast, some problems are there in this trade:

Shifting Global Regulations: Staying compliant across different countries.

Supply Chain Disruptions: Especially post-pandemic, dealing with shipping and customs delays.

Product Adaptability: Repurposing imported equipment to suit local requirements and usage patterns.

Technical Training: Ensuring hospital staff are trained to efficiently use imported equipment.

Despite these challenges, dedicated Udaipur exporters and importers have managed to build a solid reputation based on professionalism and continuous adaptation.

Growth Potential and Future Outlook The global medical device market is likely to exceed $700 billion in 2030. Due to better healthcare awareness, increased investment in hospital infrastructure, and government plans to boost exports, the future is promising for a Medical Equipment Exporter in Udaipur | Importer.

Technological innovations such as AI-based diagnostics, wearable health devices, and telemedicine equipment are also likely to further drive the need for advanced equipment. Udaipur companies that remain ahead of these developments will be in a good position to succeed in the global healthcare space.

[thirstymaart]

Hospital Furniture: Where Functionality Meets Patient Comfort

In the healthcare industry, furniture plays a crucial role in ensuring patient care and staff efficiency. Hospital furniture isn’t just about practicality—it’s about creating an environment that fosters healing and well-being. From patient beds to ergonomic chairs for staff, high-quality furniture is essential in every medical facility. Thirstymaart provides a robust platform for hospital furniture vendors to showcase their offerings and connect with healthcare institutions across regions.

Why Hospital Furniture Vendors Should Choose Thirstymaart

🏥 Access to a Niche Market

Reach hospitals, clinics, and healthcare providers actively searching for reliable and durable furniture solutions.

🖼️ Showcase Comprehensive Solutions

List products such as hospital beds, examination tables, waiting area seating, and more.

📈 Drive Business Growth

Expand your customer base and enhance brand visibility in the competitive healthcare sector.

🛠️ Simplified Product Listings

Easily upload product details, specifications, and high-quality images to attract buyers.

Hospital Furniture Solutions You Can Offer

��️ Patient Care Furniture

Hospital Beds: Manual, semi-electric, and fully electric beds designed for patient comfort and caregiver convenience.

Examination Tables: Durable and adjustable tables for clinics, diagnostic centers, and hospitals.

Bedside Tables: Compact and functional designs with storage for patient essentials.

👩‍⚕️ Staff-Focused Furniture

Ergonomic Chairs: Comfortable seating options for doctors, nurses, and administrative staff.

Workstations and Desks: Functional setups for hospital operations and management.

🪑 Waiting Area Furniture

Seating Solutions: Comfortable chairs, benches, and couches for patients and visitors.

Modular Arrangements: Flexible furniture that suits various waiting room layouts.

🛒 Specialized Equipment Furniture

Trolleys: Medicine trolleys, surgical trolleys, and dressing trolleys for ease of mobility.

OT Furniture: Operating tables, stools, and storage solutions for operation theaters.

Recliner Chairs: For chemotherapy, dialysis, and other specialized patient care.

🚑 Emergency and Transport Furniture

Stretchers, wheelchairs, and mobile patient beds to cater to critical healthcare needs.

Why Healthcare Facilities Trust Thirstymaart for Hospital Furniture

✅ High-Quality Products

Access furniture made from premium materials to ensure durability, hygiene, and safety.

🛍️ Wide Range of Choices

Explore a variety of designs and specifications to meet the specific needs of healthcare settings.

💰 Cost-Effective Solutions

Vendors offer competitive prices and discounts for bulk purchases, helping healthcare providers optimize their budgets.

📦 Hassle-Free Purchasing

Detailed product listings and vendor reviews simplify decision-making for buyers.

🌟 Customer Support

Easily communicate with vendors for customization or bulk order requirements.

How Thirstymaart Helps Hospital Furniture Vendors

📣 Enhanced Visibility

Feature your brand prominently in the hospital furniture category to reach your target audience.

📊 Sales Insights

Monitor product performance and customer interactions to refine your offerings.

🔗 Direct Connections

Build long-term relationships with healthcare providers and decision-makers.

🚀 Marketing Tools

Leverage Thirstymaart’s platform to promote discounts, new products, and special offers.

Tips for Hospital Furniture Vendors

1️⃣ Emphasize Durability and Hygiene Highlight the use of anti-bacterial materials and easy-to-clean surfaces.

2️⃣ Provide Detailed Specifications Include dimensions, materials, features, and certifications for every product.

3️⃣ Offer Customization Options Cater to hospitals with unique needs by offering tailored furniture solutions.

4️⃣ Focus on Bulk Orders Provide attractive pricing for large-scale purchases by healthcare facilities.

5️⃣ Showcase Innovations Feature modern designs like motorized hospital beds and multi-functional examination tables.

Thirstymaart: A Bridge Between Vendors and Healthcare Providers

By choosing Thirstymaart, hospital furniture vendors can reach the right audience and grow their business. Whether it’s enhancing patient care, improving staff efficiency, or modernizing waiting areas, your furniture solutions can make a significant impact.

🌟 Join Thirstymaart today and revolutionize the healthcare furniture industry!

https://thirstymaart.com/profile/sangli/a-tech-engg-works

https://thirstymaart.com/profile/product/pune/satyam-corporation