#sure it's good. and sure it has great characters. can you stop smelling the guy's farts and get your nose outta his ass now???

[djevelbl]

Ok so angrily bitching about this is Spanish wasn't enough so I gotta say it here as well--

My brother was talking to a friend of his on call and I was there in the same room, right? And I could hear what they were talking about. And the friend was raving about how vivzie pop is a horrible story writer and while I won't get into her as a person I will say that it's fucking tacky as all hell to compare art of 2 different people, no matter how much you're doing it to praise your favorite series. It. Is. Tacky

But that's not what I'm here to talk about — that's just the appetizer

So this guy keeps it up and then drags not only Hazbin Hotel but Helluva Boss as well — them's fighting words bc I love Helluva Boss I'd die for those characters. And what was his criticism of the series??

"Manhwa of two gay demons." That's what he fucking said

HELLO????

Like it's okay if you don't like manhwa (I don't know what in the FUCK that has to do with anything but aight) but the gay comment??? Where in the HELL did that one come from??

And just to prove a point I looked up what the episodes for Helluva Boss were and (from memory) tallied up which ones were Stolitz related and which ones weren't.

Y'all... It's 4. This man was crying over FOUR FUCKING EPISODES. FROM A CURRENTLY 17 EPISODE LONG SERIES. THAT ISN'T EVEN HALF — IN FACT IT AIN'T EVEN A WHOLE FUCKING THIRD OF THE TOTAL RUNTIME. it's fucking 24% (23.529% more specifically) OF THE SERIES SO FAR WHAT IN THE FUCK

brother mine. P L E A S E find better friends istg

[lavenderchqn]

"PILLOWS AND THEIR FORTS"

synopsis — after a day escalates in you being fully deflated, kinich proves you that love comes in more than one way pairing — kinich x gn!reader warnings — minor character having a stereotypical outlook on what love is, a very minor panic attack notes — just a small kinich fic, since I'm enjoying him a lot recently

You stifled a yawn, exhausted at the day you unfortunately had to experience. 

The beginning of a new semester was always rough — dealing with new subjects, professors, or fellow students. Sad to say, what it also came with was… bloody in-person lectures. Combining those with your first practical subjects, you were stuck at university since 8 AM. 

Checking at your phone, you’ve discovered you were almost here for 12 hours. The clock has struck a miserable 7:28 PM. Only twelve more minutes and you’d be free to go home. To your beloved blankets. To your beloved pillows. 

“Earth to my lovely friend!” Your university bestie said, her voice muffled. You noticed her hands waving in front of your face. How did she manage to still feel energised was quite a mystery. 

“What’s up?” You asked, laying your head on your arms.

“Look at the boy I’m trying to get with…” She handed her phone to you, giving you full access to her full dating app conversation. “Quite the catch, dare I say~” 

You hummed, acknowledging her words. Unfortunately for her, your brain was not responsive enough to entertain her situation. “Looks nice, I guess…” 

“I know, right! Not to mention,  he’s such a romantic!!” She tried to further prove her point by all the serenade-like words the guy had sent. 

“I’m happy for you… let me nap now, please…” You closed your eyes, trying to conserve the last bits of your energy. Sadly, that was not doable due to a sudden thunderclap startling you back to full attention. Did it seriously start to rain just now?!

On a day… when you had decided to leave your umbrella back at home? Great, just great.

The lecture soon ended, and slouched people left the classroom trying to find any means of getting home. 

“My soon-to-be boyfriend said he can pick me up!” Your friend jumped in excitement. “Sometimes I pity you for still staying with Kinich, you know?” 

Oh. That was new.

“What do you mean?” You stopped, staring your friend down. What did he have to do with anything?

“You’re too good for him!” Her voice strikes back. “Surely you could do much better with a guy who can prove their love to you!” 

Her attitude was less than enjoyable at that moment. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. That was certainly not the time to have an argument with a friend. Your head was pounding — a cumulative effort of fatigue mixed with your sensitivity to weather. 

“Whatever.” You scoffed. “You’re not the one in this relationship, so what makes you think your opinion matters?” 

With those words, you were off. Into the cold and rain, you went. 

By the time you make it, you’re soaked from head to toe. You sigh as you turn the key to the house. Halfway through your walk back, you remembered that tonight was your turn to cook dinner. Only gods can hope, that Kinich isn’t upset with you.

The moment you step through the door, you’re hit with the smell of a freshly cooked dinner. Did he get so fed up he ordered something? 

You don’t even have time to think, swift footsteps coming in your direction.

“Holy fuck. I knew it started raining, but this much?” Kinich helps you in getting off your bag before heading to the bathroom. 

He’s soon back, with a stack of towels. 

“You’re alright, Love. I’ve got you.” He starts to dry your hair, doing his best not to damage your hair. Your head hangs low — you don’t want your partner to look at your face. It’s hard to even think when tears have joined all the water drops you’re covered with. 

Kinich must know something, as he doesn’t even question your odd behaviour. He dries as much water as he can. “Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?” He asks. 

“Huh?” You finally look at him, confusion in your eyes. “Why would you?” 

“Because,” He flicks your shoulder lightly. “You need a shower before you get sick.” 

With that, he picks you up and carefully carries you to the bathroom. 

“I’m going to get you some warm and cosy clothes for when you’re done.” He sets you down in the middle of the bathroom, in front of the shower. “Once you’re done, we’re going to eat dinner.” 

“A-Alright.

You stand there frozen for a moment once Kinich leaves, staring at the shower, still in a daze from everything that had happened throughout the day. The exhaustion weighing heavily on your shoulders finally catches up, and you let out a long sigh before undressing and stepping into the warm water.

As the heat cascades over your skin, the tension in your body begins to ease. You let the water wash away not only the grime from the rain but also the stress of the day. You can’t help but think back to your friend's words — her judgment about your relationship with Kinich. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but as the warm water envelops you, you realise how unfair it was to let those words affect you. Kinich was always there for you, always patient, always understanding. Her words didn’t matter. 

After a while, you finally get out of the shower, feeling lighter, though still emotionally drained. You dry yourself off and slip into the cosy clothes Kinich had laid out for you. As you open the bathroom door, the smell of dinner wafts through the air again. Your stomach growls, reminding you that you haven’t eaten much today.

Walking into the kitchen, you see Kinich setting the table. He looks up and smiles slightly when his eyes meet yours. "Feel better?”

You nod, offering a small smile in return. "Yeah, thanks… And sorry for not making dinner tonight.”

“Do I need to flick your forehead harder?” He asks, head tilted looking at your face confused. “I don’t need an apology.” 

“B-but…” 

“Shush.” He hands you the cutlery, before taking a seat himself. “Enjoy the meal, we’re having a cosy night once you’re done.” 

“Cosy night?—“ You turn around to look at the living room. 

There’s a pillow fort there. Fully fortified, oozing with pure comfiness.  

You stare at the pillow fort, blinking in disbelief. Kinich, always full of surprises, had somehow managed to set up the cosiest little corner of the living room while you were in the shower. Soft blankets draped over chairs and an assortment of pillows arranged perfectly. 

“You did all this while I was showering?” you ask, your voice soft with awe.

Kinich chuckles as he takes a bite of his food. “Sure did. Figured you could use a bit of comfort after the day you’ve had. Plus, we haven’t had a good pillow fort night in ages.”

Soon after,  the meal comes to an end. You both clear the table and Kinich gestures toward the fort. “Fort time?” he asks with a grin.

You nod eagerly, following him into the living room. The fort is even cosier up close, with a pile of your favourite snacks and a movie queued up on the laptop nestled inside. Kinich climbs into the fort first, patting the spot beside him, and you quickly follow, snuggling into the soft pillows as he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

For a while, you both just sit there, the warmth of the fort and his presence surrounding you like a shield against the outside world. The rain continues to tap against the windows, however inside, everything feels safe and perfect.

“Thank you, Kinich,” you whisper, resting your head against his chest. “For everything.”

He starts stroking your back. “Of course. It’s the least I could do, to make your day less shitty.”

And in that moment, you realise that he truly did that. Despite the rough day, despite your friend’s hurtful words, sitting here in this homemade fort with Kinich by your side, you feel truly content… 

Knowing that love can be more than words. 

date of posting — september 16th 2024

[writercole]

A Real Rancher

Summary: A night of relaxing leads to the promise of more. Words: 1366 Warnings: Fluff Credits: None, really. Unbeta'd. A/N: I have no idea where this came from. But it flew out of me last night and I have no regrets. A/N 2: For Becca Bear.

The birth of the last calf brought the total up to fifteen, just this fortnight. The life of a rancher, his life, made Rhett happy. Little moments like the first steps of the tiniest animals that would grow into thousand pound beasts made him smile. But he could admit that the ranch life wasn’t for everyone.

Like the girl who just ghosted him.

Or the one before who said that she couldn’t handle the hours he worked.

Or even the one before that who didn’t like that he smelled like manure when he came in from work.

Women were ridiculous. It’s not like they had to do the work. It’s not like he didn’t shower after he came in. But they used it as an excuse to leave rather than giving him half a chance.

Rhett made sure the heifer and the calf were healthy and cared for before heading back up to the ranch house, looking at the setting sun and deciding he needed a drink. But first, a shower. Maybe two.

As he walked into the dingy dive bar, he immediately noticed a woman at the end of the bar, her glasses low on her nose, a pencil in one hand and what looked like a business document in the other, though that document was about five hundred pages, if he had to guess. He ordered his usual and headed to his usual table, sitting back in the corner and letting the stresses and tensions of the day melt away as he listened to the old juke box across the room and sipped his drink.

Two more rounds and he was feeling great, watching the people in the bar come alone and leave together, passing the time with a spin around the dance floor or giggles in the far corner. He noticed that the woman he’d noticed at first was still there, furiously scribbling notes on her...whatever. Strands of hair fell out of her messy bun and her lip tucked beneath her front teeth. Her brow furrowed and Rhett chuckled.

Her head snapped up and she looked around, eyes locking on Rhett, and jumped off of her stool. He shifted in his seat as he clocked her making a beeline straight to him, suddenly feeling very aware of the fact that he was staring at her. She stopped in front of him at the table and he could see that she wasn’t angry, she was curious.

“Are you a rancher?” She rushed out.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Like a real rancher, not one of those preppy boys whose daddy owns a lot of cattle but has people who do the work for them. You’re the one who does the work?”

“Uh, yes ma’am,” he replied, his own brow furrowing beneath his stetson. “I’m Rhett Abbott. My family’s own the ranch for generations now.”

“Oh, good,” she sighed as she pulled out a chair across from him, “can I ask you some questions? Oh, shoot, my pencil.” She patted her pockets and checked behind her ears, coming up empty handed.

“Um, ma’am? It’s in your hair?” Rhett said, pointing at her bun.

“Oh!” She exclaimed as she pulled it out of the space he pointed at.

“Can I ask what these questions are for?”

“Well, I’m writing a book and this one character is a rancher and I just don’t think I’ve gotten him right and – oh shit. How do I keep losing everything?”

“You left the...book? On the bar.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” she told him before rushing across the room and grabbing the papers she’d been making notes on.

Rhett was entirely entranced with this woman. He’d never met a writer before, not that Wabang had a great intellectual population to begin with.

She sat back at the table and flipped her notebook to a clean page, writing his name across the top before returning her gaze to him.

“It’s two t’s,” he pointed out.

“Huh?”

“Abbott. It’s two b’s, two t’s,” he explained, gesturing to his name written across her page.

“Oh, sorry.”

“S’okay,” he shrugged. “So these questions?”

“This guy works on a ranch and he’s got to do cow stuff and I don’t know the first thing about being on a ranch or cows or anything like that and I was hoping that you could maybe, possibly, tell me about the stuff you do for cows?” She spoke quickly, like she was expecting him to get bored with her voice in the time it took for her to ask her question.

“That’s a pretty broad question,” he laughed, “do you have anything more specific?”

“No,” she sighed. “Like I said, I don’t know the first thing about being on a ranch or anything. The closest I’ve come to a cow is the petting zoo.”

Rhett gestured for another round for the two of them and settled back against the wall. “Well, darlin, let’s get you learned.”

The pair of them spent the rest of the night talking, only realizing how long it had been when the lights came up and the bartender announced last call. Their topics had drifted from the work on the ranch to much more personal topics. He learned that she had quit her job and moved to Wabang to follow her dreams of writing a contemporary romance set in the west. When he questioned why she had to move out to the absolute sticks to do that, she looked down at the table.

“No one supported me. They thought I was wasting my time writing. It was never a worthy career path because who wants to read a book anymore,” she admitted quietly.

Rhett felt more emotion flow through him in that moment than he had since Amy had disappeared. He was pissed at people who told her it was a waste of time, sorry for her feeling like she had no one, hopeful that she would give him half a chance. “Well, if it makes any difference, I think you’re doing an amazing thing.”

“Really?” She asked, her face going from dejection to elation in an instant. Her shoulders squared and her eyes lit up, as if she was hearing someone tell her positive things for the first time.

“Yeah. It’s not easy to follow your dreams, especially when they lead you away from the people you care about,” he spoke from experience, “and to do something like writing a book...man, that takes guts and brains and all kinds of stuff I definitely don’t have.”

“But...you ride bulls?”

“That doesn’t take any brains, darlin. In fact, it takes a distinctive lack of brains and self preservation.”

“Um, no,” she countered. “That takes so much brains, Rhett.”

“Hey, you two, we’re closing,” the bartender called across the otherwise empty room.

“Can I drive you back to your room?” Rhett asked as he stood.

“It’s a short walk. I’m next door,” she shrugged sadly.

“Well, how about I leave you my number and you can call me with your questions. Maybe come by the ranch tomorrow and see how things go?”

“Can I pet the cows?!”

“I’ll make sure to keep them in the barn just for you,” he grinned. He wrote his number down on her book and offered his arm, escorting her to the small inn next door.

“I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“I’ll make sure to answer.”

“Goodnight, Rhett. It was really nice to meet you,” she said with a wave, walking through the thick, wooden door into her temporary accommodations.

Rhett watched until the door clicked shut, walking backwards to his truck just in case she came back down. A light turned on in a room over his head as he opened the door and his glance shot up in time to see her pull back the curtain and peek outside, waving when she caught him staring. He waved back, watching until she dropped the curtain before he climbed into his truck.

The idea to sleep in the parking lot crossed his mind for half a second before he started the engine, turning his truck towards home. He had an early date with a writer. The cows had to be ready.

[danyvhell-writes]

Ais headcanons pt 2 ! (Touchstarved)

GN reader - no warnings | Ais, my beloved. My brain won't stop thinking about him, there's so much to say omg ! I need to draw him this is serious :')

+ Not really a headcanon but when I first saw Ais in the trailer I thought he would be a kinda pirate character :') don't make fun of me lmaouiadubgziu !! I really imagined our first encounter with him on the coast of the city/harbor and that his story would be based on pirate tales and marine legends. I'm still sticking to my idea that it would be fucking awesome to have Ais as a captain or something, traveling the seas and oceans with him and his crew. (let me dream) PIRATE AIS AU WHEN ????!!? (Helloooo sailor !!)

• Has really pretty hands for someone who fights so much ! Likes to be presentable in front of you.

• He's a simp in his own ways. Someone making a remark about how good looking you are, he's gonna brag "Damn right they are ! Look at them."

• If you're mixed or have unusual features for your ethnicity, he would try to guess your origins (and he's strangely good at it ?). And if you have a weird/rare mix it's even more fun to see him struggle a bit.

• Likes to share foods ! Please feed him, he loves it. He'll just watch your dish with insistance until you ask him "You want some ?" and lean opening his mouth. He'll gently make you taste his meal in return. You're his little sparrow after all, so of course he's gonna let you peck in his plate.

• If your gaze meets his, he'll wink casually. It's his way to say "Hi babe."

• Completely forgot to ad this in my last hc post but !! If you use ASL, he will learn just so he can talk with you. Teach him everything you know, he's a good student >:) And if you happen to know how to read lips, this man would be thrilled to learn how to do it ! I just know he'd love to spy on people's conversation and gossip with you hehehe

• When you guys go on a walk and see sparrows he's always saying stuff like "Look, your friends' saying hi !" "This one looks just like you, cute." or "Wonder who's the real little sparrow… Sure you're not an impostor hm ?"

• When he doesn't smoke, he smells like a mix of cloves, iodine, humid air & metal (you know what i mean ?)

• Ties up his hair in a little ponytail sometimes and it's the cutest thing ever !!!

• If you're sensitive to the smell of cigarette (I personally despise that shit), he'd be careful not to smoke near you or puff in your direction. Passive smoking is not an option ! When you tell him it's fine, he responds "I don't want to screw up your healthy lil lungs !" ↑ However if you take cigs too, he'll gladly share a smoke with you. Really likes to have a calm talk with you while you guys enjoy your stuff. (+ shotgun kiss grrr)

• If you trip on your feet or something while walking, no need to feel ashamed. He would simply do the same on purpose to reassure you and act like it's something casual. "Can't watch my feet either apparently :)" You can be clumsy around him, do not worry !

• We know he doesn't like easy fights and he's kinda into brats so… give him challenges. Dumb ones, hard ones whatever you want ! He needs adrenaline and what's better than a little dare. "Bet you can't climb that tree in less than twenty seconds !" "Oh yeah ? Don't be presumptuous, I'll show you." and there he goes, perching himself on a big branch.

• Related to that... You're a snarky little shit ? Good. He likes it. Be cocky with him, that's what he needs. Of course he loves your soft side but no bickering nor teasing would be boring. This man needs a challenge.

• Loves going on walks with you and his babies (soulless). He'd show you around, make you visit nice places you've never been to and you get to play with Princess + the rest of the pack ! Sometimes his destinations are a little perilous but it's worth the risk. Two whole hours walking in the mist to watch the sunset ? Okay let's go, handsome !

• You're a trans person ? Great. He is too. Now go makeout like the T4T couple you are. (My Ais is trans and I won't come back on this statement 🏃🏽‍♂️💨)

• Always rests his hand on your hip. Number one resting place, comfortable & perfect shape for it. Sometimes the touch feels almost ghosting against you, you wonder if you're imagining things. Please, do the same for him. His waist is literally snatched with that pretty belt of his, perfect place to put your hands on ! He would really appreciate.

• He's good with makeup. Let him put you some red eyeliner so you guys can match ;) Just imagine him holding your face gently while he's concentrated on making a cool pattern with the liner. "Don't move." "I'm trying sorry !" "Am I that distracting to you ?". He won't mind if you try some on him. Dark lipstick omg, he'll rock that shit !

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I seriously cannot with this woman.

You raised a fucking murderer. So what if you had a difficult delivery? Does this entitle her to kill people? Good for Gu Tingye, somebody should have stabbed her ages ago.

I just love how SHOCKED all these evildoers are that her privilege of rank didn't protect her. However, the only reason it did not protect her this time is because she overextended herself and went after someone of her own class, or arguably, even more powerful than her.

***

LMFAOOOO

I can't believe she is refusing to get involved! Because what a perfect opportunity to strike at Gu Tingye!

***

I love how their biggest grievance remains that they were not allowed to cover up her crimes this time around.

They are not even the least bit concerned about the fact that they raised a narcissistic psychopath who sowed countless misery for as long as she lived.

Anway, eat the rich, etc. etc. etc.

They don't see anyone but themselves as people.

***

Heh.

So, she changed her mind. Predictable. She was never going to let such a juicy opportunity to cause trouble pass her by.

***

LMAO, I am actually pleased these two fools made up.

Or did they? 🤔

There are still six more episodes and plenty of trouble ahead.

***

OH MY GOD, I AM WEEPING 🤣🤣

SHE HAS A LITTLE SWORD AND EVERYTHING, ALL SET TO DEFEND HIM FROM THE BIG BAD GU TINGYE! 🤣🤣

***

He remains such a goddamned idiot.

MY GUY, DO YOU WANT A HAPPY AND PEACEFUL MARRIAGE? DON'T JUST SIT THERE STARING AT HER! REASSURE YOUR WIFE THAT YOU ARE GLAD TO BE MARRIED TO HER NOW!!

***

Well, clearly, not killing you was a mistake.

***

Oh my fucking god.

She wants to take her baby?? The audacity!

But she will not refuse, will she?

***

This poor baby.

***

Oh, lady, you gave up your son for a promotion 🙄

Also, what great fortune? She took this child not because she loves him but because she can wield him as a weapon in the future.

***

Wait, she's not going to be breastfeeding herself?

I mean, I know that nursemaids were a thing throughout history and that even Nanny Chang nursed Gu Tingye, but I'm still shocked a c-drama is going there so openly.

***

OMG 🤣🤣

My love for Shitou knows no bounds 🖤🖤

***

I am so exhausted with his nonsense 🙄

I realise that Minglan being jealous of Fengxian is supposed to be cute and character development or whatever, but I am beyond bored and annoyed by him and his made-up problems and forever pissed that he keeps bringing up Yuanruo to use against her.

Also, I may be letting my personal hang-ups cloud me here but I have literally dumped more than one guy for deliberately trying to make me jealous. Yes, I am a jealous person, yes, I have self-esteem issues, yes, my family of origin made me feel as unlovable as they possibly could and as a result, I am a people pleaser to a fault. I have so much anxiety and fear of abandonment. But no, I am not going to be contorting myself to prove that you should stay with me rather than someone else. Go fuck yourself. The moment you make me "fight" for you means I have already lost. I find it so demeaning. Go forth and chase your dreams with other women, who am I to stop you? Oh, you didn't mean it like that? Basically, you were just egging me on because you find my misery amusing and as a convenient way to boost your own ego? To manipulate me into doing things and behaving in a way that is detrimental to me but beneficial to you? How nice of you to fully go masks off at last! NOW DOUBLY GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Anyway, so many people love Gu Tingye and have told me I will surely love him too. But not only do I not love him, I don't even like him. The closer we get to the end of this show, the more repulsive I find him. In the beginning, I was still fighting so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt, but after that second Manniang debacle, I have fully given up. Plus, it has been hinted multiple times so far that he smells, so no thanks to that. If Minglan's happiness and well-being in this hellhole of a society didn't depend on his stinky ass being alive and well-off, I would not bat an eye at the Emperor beheading him.

***

Wait, they brought her in from a BROTHEL?

Look, I seriously don't want to shame people doing sex work here, but there were no condoms, antibiotics or modern medicine of any kind that would in any way have prevented STDs during this time. If I had to live in this era, I would be disgusted to sleep with a man who frequented brothels and after having sex with the women there, came home to have sex with me.

***

I keep hoping that the Emperor turning against Gu Tingye is some kind of a ploy because he is based on an IRL Emperor and China has strict rules against presenting such people in a negative light... but it seems more likely that he has simply become paranoid and lost his entire damn mind since coming to the throne.

Also, thinking back, Monarch Industry certainly portrayed the ruling royal family in the worst light imaginable, so clearly the rules are not that strict. But then again, those Emperors were not based on real people and actual historical facts (as far as I know). But there is also King's War, which absolutely dragged actual historical figures to filth, however, that drama is a bit older, so the censorship rules were probably more lax.

IDK. In any case, I'm not liking him (or any of this) much at this point.

[aluveras]

Not too much fun!

Peter parker x Female reader

A/n: I wanna clarify that all my female reader fics and male reader (if i make them) are trans friendly since i see =trans people as the gender they identify as, if its not trans friendly (use of genitilia for example but you can just imagine you had ur surgery) i'll say it in the fic.

Warnings: suggestive content, fluff, may being a character i enjoy way too much.

Word count: 1.2k

____________________

‘’Can you be any more obsessed bro?’’

Pete whips his head over to Ned. He could barely hear him over the crowd of people in the cafeteria.

‘’What? I’m not obsessed what are you talking about?’’

‘’Hey, it’s fine I get it. She’s absolutely gorgeous.’’

‘’Tell me something new’’ Peter answers dreamily while his chin rests on his hand.

‘’You guys are weirdos.’’ MJ says out of nowhere

‘’Yeah, well you sit with weirdos.’’ Peter says back immediately.

It was silent for a few seconds.

‘’That sounded a lot less pathetic when I thought of it...’’

‘’Yeah that’s with most of what you say I think.’’ Ned answers

‘’Ned come on dude, you’re supposed to be on my side.’’

Too focused on the conversation Peter all of a sudden felt his peter ting-  Spider sense, sensing in a very weird way.

‘’Hey Peter.’’

There you were. The most beautiful, drop dead gorgeous, jaw dropping girl he had ever seen.

Ned shoved him to say something.

‘’H-hey Y-Y/n’’ You giggle at his stutter and he swears he is ascending into heaven hearing that sound.

‘’I was wondering if you could help me with the decathlon practice,  I don’t really know anyone on the team and you seem nice. And I’ve seen you in class you’re in incredibly smart. So could you help me?’’

This is a dream. It has to be, he thinks.

‘’If you don’t want to you can say so, it’s okay. ‘’ you say because of his silence.  A hint of disappointment in your voice

‘’No! I would love to!’’ Peter squeaked, immediately cringing at how he said it.

Ned and even MJ can’t help but chuckle a little, neither can you.

‘’Okay great! At your place after school today?’’

‘’Yeah, I’ll walk with you to my place if you don’t mind?’’

‘’That would be great! Thank you.’’

You walk away with a big smile and so does peter as he watches you until you’re out of frame.

- after school –

You walk up to Peter at the entrance of the school.

He feels you coming and turns around quickly, his cheeks already starting to blush                                                    at seeing how beautiful you look.

‘’Hey Pete! Ready to go?’’ if he wasn’t blushing already he sure as hell was now that you used a nickname for him.

‘’Yeah just follow me!’’

-After walking for a bit you arrived at his apartment-

As he allowed you to step in you immediately saw and smelled a cloud of smoke and a middle aged woman cooking…or at least trying to. As she turned around you made eye contact and her face immediately lit up.

‘’Peter! Who is this beautiful young lady?!’’

‘’May, this is Y/n, Y/n this is my aunt May.’’ He said happily finally getting to introduce you to his aunt who he has been ranting about you to.

‘’Hello miss Parker, it’s nice to meet you!’’

‘’It’s May to you sweetie and it is lovely meeting you! I’ve been waiting for this ever since peter couldn’t stop talking about you.’’

‘’She’s joking!’’ Peter says quickly

‘’I don’t talk about you at all! Well that’s not true, I don’t never mention you or pretend you don’t exist or something I just-‘’

Peter was cut off by your laugh, he wish he could have that his alarm in the morning. That would make him wake up and make sure he hears it again. (he means the waking up part in a good way)

‘’It’s okay Peter, if it makes you feel better I talk a lot about you too’’ You smirk.

Peter starts blushing like crazy as he clears his throat and says,

‘’So we’re gonna go study together in my room, if that’s okay?’’

‘’Yes of course, have fun…’’

You and Peter walk to his room and just before he closes his door you hear May say,

‘’But not too much fun!’’

‘’May! Really?!’’ Peter whines

‘’Sorry, I had to!’’

As you sit by Peters bed and he sits next to you, you finally start to realize what you’re gonna do.

You’ve been having this crush on Peter for a while now, you kept seeing him stare and somewhere along the way when he wasn’t staring at you, you would stare at him.                                                             You waited for him to do something but he just never did, just kept staring and never doing anything.

So one day when you had enough of the waiting you decided to form a plan.                                               You didn’t even need help for school, it was just a perfect plan to hang out with Peter and tell him how you feel. Though when you sat there, you couldn’t even think about actually doing it.

There were times while working you two looked into each other eyes and didn’t even say anything, it would feel like the time stopped and all that there was Peter and this feeling. This feeling. A feeling that is hard to describe but so pleasing.

A warmth in your chest, a smile that you can’t hide because it’s just so strong. Your heart going faster than ever and your hands shaking like crazy. Your brain could barely focus on anything other than his eyes.

‘’Y/n?’’ Peter says softly.

‘’Hm?’’ you hum also softly.

Then Peters body works faster than his brain and he just leans in. And you meet him halfway.

As your lips softly meet, the feeling is stronger than it’s ever been. As you depart you are both blushing insanely.

‘’Thank you.’’ Peter says

‘’Thank you?’’ You giggle

‘’For letting me kiss you! And not getting mad that I didn’t ask before.’’

‘’Peter, I wanted to kiss you and you gave me enough time to pull away, don’t worry.’’

‘’Really?!’’

You start to full on laugh now.

‘’Hey! Don’t laugh I was really nervous.’’

‘’I know, so was i!’’

‘’What! Why? I’m just Peter, a lonely nerd.’’

‘’You’re not lonely! You have Ned and MJ plus I like that your nerdy, I want a hot nerdy boyfriend!’’

You immediately regretted saying that.

‘’Not that I expected you to now immediately be my boyfriend! If you don’t want that then that’s fine.’’ You just wanted to disappear. (Like peter did in infinity way)

‘’I would actually…love to be your boyfriend…’’ Peter says softly

‘’Well then…’’ there was a silence which you expected to be awkward, but you just stared into each other eyes comfortably.

‘’Can I-‘’ He clears his throat before speaking again. ‘’Maybe kiss you again?’’

You giggle.

‘’We’re together now Pete, you don’t have to ask.’’ You laugh

And by that Peter (surprisingly easy to you) lifts you up a bit and makes sure you straddle him comfortably.

‘’Wow, who knew Peter had such mo-‘’ and before you could finish your lips were in a heated make out sesh with peters.

Just as he slips in his tongue into your mouth and he leaves a long groan, the door swings open.

And there stands a shocked and happy May.

‘’You got the girl!..’’ and quickly after that she says ‘’but I meant the not too much fun part not until your further into the relationship!’’

You laugh as Peter whines again ‘’May!’’

_______________________________

[dansconcepts]

Talentswap AU - Take Me Hot to Go

YES THE TITLE IS A CHAPPELL ROAN SONG I LOVE HER VERY MUCH. Anyways, I have a certain rarepair (I think it is anyway) that I love (it's Nanamiki but I affectionally call it Tsunanami bc they're so soft I love them), so this is gonna be highly self-indulgent under the cut. For this AU, I do have my share of drabbles as well as other character interactions, but I'm dropping this first since it's fresh out the oven (see what I did there?). Also, this is definitely longer than usual, and that's in solidarity for the next thing I'm planning to post. That one's turning out to be a behemoth, and it has to do with certain hcs that I reblogged before ;>.

“WHAAAA-!?” Ibuki gasps. “You guys haven’t talked yet?!” 

Chiaki nods while Mikan timidly looks down. 

“Well, that’s a HUGEEEEE problem! You girls are Ibuki’s super duper close friends!” Ibuki lifts a hand to Chiaki. “Tsum-tsum, meet Chiaki, a super awesome baker! Just the absolute best.” She wraps an arm around Mikan. “Chi, this adorable girlie is the florist I’ve told you about! She's the reason Ibuki's place smells so nice and looks so good!”

The Ultimate Florist takes her eyes off of the clinging Ibuki and turns to the baker, who meets her gaze.

She quickly averts her eyes.

A-ah! That was so rude of me!

She looks back and glimpses at the soft smile that’s pointed right! at! her! 

She offers a hesitant smile back.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

It didn’t take her too long to get all the way to Chiaki’s dorm, the dark entrance beckoning her to lift her hand and raise it. A chill runs down her spine. She doesn’t usually hang out with people like this… but she’d really like to. But can she do this? 

C’mon Mikan, I know you’ve got this. You gotta tell me everything later, after all. Hajime’s encouragement rings through her mind. Her eyes close shut as she rapidly pounds her fist against the door. Knock knock! 

The florist thumbs at her bandaids, biting her lip. Does she look like a mess? Maybe she doesn’t have the right address? Did she possibly get the wrong address?! AHHHHH! She needs to check her phone again-!

“Hey, Mikan. I’m glad you can make it.” 

“Wah!” She jumps. Her phone thumps onto the ground.

“Oh, I’m sorry for scaring you. Here, let me…” The baker crouches on the maroon tiles, reaching out a hand to grab the fallen object before presenting it to her. How embarrassing! She bows her head, gently taking it from her hands. “S-sorry about that. I’m just… weird…”

“No, you seem nervous. Am I right?” Chiaki states bluntly, and Mikan’s face reddens. “There’s nothing strange about being nervous, as far as I know. So come in, maybe it’ll be more comfortable.” She opens the door again, this time sidestepping for the dark-haired girl to enter first. She mumbles her gratitude and enters. 

The place is homey, a simple couch and coffee table decorated in soft pastels of pink and teal accents, while the walls are majorly white. There’s not much decoration though besides a cute rabbit plush close to the doorway, its arm suspended in the air like it’s waving to every person that enters. She sees a modest shoe rack and slips off her sneakers. The door closes with a click. 

“Um, you sure you’re okay with being here? I know it’s a little sudden, it seemed like a really nice idea but…”

Does she want to kick me out already? “N-no, I was just looking around!” She has to gnaw her lip from saying ‘I could stop though’. “I was actually wondering if I could see you bake! Since I’m here!” 

“Hmm? You want to watch me bake? Really?” Mikan nods her head. “That sounds like it’d be nice…”

“Y-yay!” She whispers with a grin. “Eep! Sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s alright. I think it’ll be fun too.” 

“I, um, brought the rose petals and rose water, like you asked. I… didn’t forget anything, did I?”

“No, you did great, thanks Mikan.”

She hands them over out of her satchel, and Chiaki moves, but she freezes. Her pink eyes stare intently at her hands. Was something wrong with her hands? Were they still dirty with dirt? She swears she cleaned them! She washed them multiple times!

“You’re wearing a bunch of bandaids… Are you alright?”

“A-ah! It happens. I get pricked by thorns a lot, haha… but I’m okay! I’m just clumsy!”

“Well, they say food is a great medicine, so maybe working on this recipe will help.” Was… that meant to be a joke? The corners of her lips tug upward. It was a little odd. 

She follows the baker into the kitchen. There’s a chair pulled out for her, and she sits with a giggle at the silly grin the girl throws at her. Before her is a marble counter, a rectangle on it looking like what could be one of those fancier stoves. There’s more counters lining the walls, with a modest refrigerator and multiple ovens, one already alight with orange. Besides dishes, there’s baking sheets, cutlery, jars, and cups scattered about. It’s very stacked, as expected of the Ultimate Baker, if not a little messier than she expected… 

Chiaki washes her hands, setting the rose ingredients down with what appears to be the rest. Some standard baking ingredients from what she can tell, except for the raspberries and a carton of whipping cream. Is she making a cake? “I wanted to make some cream puffs for everyone.” The baker explains, placing a pan on the stove, turning on the heat. She grabs some device underneath that kinda looks like a blender, but smaller, and starts placing raspberries, a cup of sugar (she’s guessing?), and the rose water. They’re quickly blended and set aside. “They’re pretty simple, I think, and I wanted to add a rose-infused raspberry fool filling.”

“Raspberry fool?” 

“Hmm?” Chiaki hums, swiftly placing ingredients into the pot with an ease that she wonders if she admires or is jealous of. 

“What’s that?”

The baker stares at the pan. The silence weighs on her. Does she sound stupid? Is this something that’s actually common knowledge? Oh, darn it, maybe she should’ve studied common baking terms! Maybe then Chiaki wouldn’t be so bored of her already.

Chiaki blinks. “Oh, sorry, it’s berries and cream.” The baker directs her attention to Mikan’s face. She isn’t sure what she looks like, but Chiaki’s head tilts at the expression that must’ve been there. “You seem upset. I should’ve warned you, I do that sometimes. Space out, I mean. You’re free to try getting my attention. I promise I won’t be mad. Hajime does it all the time.” She cracks a smile, briskly mixing the whipping cream and powdered sugar in a bowl she grabbed. “He treats me like a pot. If he keeps watching me, I won’t boil.” 

Mikan giggles. She doesn’t understand the analogy at all, but it’s kinda cute to see the other girl looking so amused at her own jokes. The baker’s smile grows wider at her reaction. She scoops out the dough from the pan and Mikan watches as she places it into a metal bowl connected to a mixer and turns it on. Afterwards, she starts adding the raspberry mixture with the whipped cream and folds with a spatula. Sensing her opportunity, she blurts, “Y-you’re very composed! It’s… amazing.” Even at her shop, she’s always zipping to different flowers, checking on their growth and health, or checking inventory, or cleaning. She does love it, the sense of urgency born purely out of passion, but she’s never looked so laidback about any of it.  

Chiaki goes quiet for a moment, yet still keeps folding. Mikan studies her face, this time seeing the way her pupils dilate. “Chiaki?” She softly calls out.

“Right. I’m really not that composed. I’m just-” Her cheeks puff, “focused. You probably saw from looking around, I can be a bit messy.” 

“I, uh, don’t think that changes much actually! If anything, I-I think it’s a fun fact to learn about you! If, um, you don’t mind me saying.”

She watches the other look down. “I-” Is it just Mikan, or was she blushing? The baker shakes her head, clearing her throat. “I appreciate that.” She switches the mixer off and grabs one of the stray trays, grabbing an ice cream scoop and plopping out dough balls perfectly. “Ibuki wasn’t kidding. You’re very sweet… like caramel, I suppose.”

Mikan giggles once more, trying to ignore the way her feet want to kick. It’s one of the kindest things she’s ever been told. She wonders if she should tell Chiaki she reminds her of a sweet pea. No, that would be a bit much, huh? She probably wouldn’t like it. She shouldn’t be so forward, that wouldn’t be very good (“but we all wuv wuv you as you are Tsumi! Trust in Ibuki! I swear you’re a cutie! Yourself is the best self there is!”).

Chiaki places the dough mounds into the oven. Wow, that was admirably fast. The baker grabs the bunny timer sitting atop, which is just very adorable, and she covers her mouth to yawn. She stumbles over to the chair beside her.

“I’ma take a little nap.” 

“A-a nap? Right now?”

True to her word, the pink-haired girl is out like a light on the counter. She looks at the sleeping girl, curled up on the counter in front of her. She wants to melt from the softness she finds. Kind, talented, cute… she’s always been so terrified to talk with her. Gah! She’s so thankful for Ibuki.

Well. She eyes the oven. Hopefully she isn’t the reason those burn, but it’s best not to touch it. The last thing she wants to do is ruin Chiaki’s creations…

In the meantime though, she can try being helpful. Those dishes from earlier seem like a good place to start. She heads over to the sink and starts washing. 

The timer rings. Mikan, after finishing the dishes, spent a few moments guiltily switching between watching Chiaki rest, berating herself for it, and also watching the oven because she genuinely doesn’t want anything to burn on her watch. In her pursuit, she manages to see the super cute way Chiaki’s eyes blearily open and meet her gaze. “Huh? Were you watching me?” 

Mikan immediately scrambles, arms flailing like crazy. “SorrySorrySorry!” The rapid movement causes her chair to teeter, and soon she’s flailing her arms for another reason. 

CRASH!

She yelps. 

“Oh!” Chiaki crouches to her side. “Are you okay?”

Mikan runs a quick check. “Ah, yes, I’m alright! Sorry!!! I’m sorry if I was being creepy, I should’ve known better…” 

The baker shrugs. “I didn’t really mind. It’s not like you were doing anything weird, right?”

“I would never!” She quickly exclaims. And she means it with all her heart. She would never…

Chiaki smiles. “I know, sorry, that was a joke. I appreciate how quickly you said that though. Now c’mon, let’s get you up.” Chiaki pulls her up, and feeling it, she notices how rough they are. There’s callouses. Before she can ask, Chiaki immediately heads over to the oven, and her curiosity is thrown out the window. “I really hope those aren’t burned! I’m s-sorry for distracting you!”

Instead of replying, Chiaki grabs oven mitts and presents the tray to her. She warily glances at it. Thankfully, it’s not the hockey pucks she was scared she’d find, but golden brown puffs of delectable goodness. “It came out looking pretty good, wouldn’t you agree?” Mikan nods, breathing out a sigh of relief. “I don’t know if this may help, but I always set it a little early since I don’t want to burn it either.”

She drops it off on the counter. Silently, she grabs a piping bag and fills it with the raspberry filling. “Well, we sort of have to wait until these cool down. In the meantime, I’ve got these-” She pulls out a tray from the fridge. “Wanna help me decorate them? They’re sugar cookies, for fun.” 

“C-can I really? I don’t really know how to.” 

“I can show you.”

Chiaki sets the tray down. Mikan can’t help but laugh. These cookies… 

Chiaki grins. “I’m the Ultimate Baker, not the Ultimate Artist. That’s why I have Nagito help me decorate for super complex stuff.”

Mikan and Chiaki proceed to have a fun time messing around with decorating sugar cookies, laughing and smiling all the while. Chiaki teaches her the technique with premade icing she had, and Mikan finds herself relaxing as she carefully smoothes out her design. 

She’s finishing the pricks of seeds on her cookie when she hears a gasp behind her. “That’s beautiful.” Mikan looks back at her sunflower bouquet. “Oh no, i-it’s nothing special!”

“No way! I may need to fire Nagito!” She scrambles. “I am going to save this and take a photo of it later, is that okay?” 

Mikan chuckles. “Um, yes! I’m… really flattered, actually.”

They go back to the puffs. “So there’s kinda a balance in making the dough-filling ratio just right, but it’s pretty easy to tell if you filled it properly. It gets all puffy, like this.” She demonstrates. “Here, wanna try?”

Mikan grabs the bag. She hesitantly places it into the puff. She squeezes the bag, and- POOF! The puff drips, and icing lands on Chiaki’s apron.

“Oh no oh no! I-I’m so sorry!”

Chiaki blinks. She squirms. Is she going to kick me out now? 

And then the baker bursts out into a loud guffaw, clutching her stomach. Plum eyes stare, wide-eyed.

Chiaki wipes the tears from her eyes. “Oh, wow, I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. You’re really funny, Mikan. I didn’t expect that at all.”

She blushes. “Oh… thank you!” 

They fill the rest, this time with Mikan succeeding in filling one without any problems. It’s not perfect, but she’s proud all the same. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. When was the last time she’s ever felt like this?

They both eat one (Chiaki bumps hers with Mikan’s with a “Cheers!” and Mikan wants to melt even more) and Mikan hums, pleased. “This tastes amazing!” 

“I’m glad you like them.”

Her phone buzzes. It’s just a spam email, but it causes her to check the time. 23:32. “A-ah! I have to go, sorry, I have to open my shop in the morning…”

“Ah, really? Man… Guess that means we’ll have to continue another time.” Chiaki grins.

Mikan matches her grin. “I guess it does.”

Chiaki walks her out to the door.

“Really, this was a lot of fun. I hope we can keep doing this, I never thought I’d have so much fun baking…”

“I would love to.” She says honestly. 

“I’ll text you?”

Mikan nods, perhaps a little too excitedly, because she feels light-headed. 

“Then, good night Mikan. Or maybe morning, actually…”

“Good night, Chiaki.”

The baker closes her door.

She grins, giddily giggling and internally kicking her feet in the air all the way home.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

The brunet perches on the metal railing like a bird. He scouts out his surroundings, wondering if he has the time to scale the wall as he waits. Never mind, he sees familiar wine-coloured hair. He moves to wave at her, and glances at the way she's grinning widely the whole time. Wow, I haven’t seen her smile like that so easily before. 

“Hey, how’re you doing?” Hajime asks.

“I’m great! I, um, got to bake with a friend yesterday.” Mikan sing songs.

“Oh, Chiaki, right?”

Mikan nods excitedly. 

I’m glad they had fun. Hajime smirks. “Did Chiaki fall asleep during her baking again?”

“Oh yes! She did! And she…!”

Mikan rants the whole time while Hajime listens.

[rocknrollsalad]

STWG Daily Prompt (Dec 8) - Where did you find it?

💅 characters/pairings: steddie & buckingham

🍺 Eddie entertains his friends with a new look

👚 content/trigger warnings: drinking

🤘 word count: 930

There’s this perfect spot in drinking where stuff can still be done independently and logically but the weight of the world has been moved aside for a while. Where things are all incredibly fun and every idea is great. It’s “first thought, best thought” without the reminder.

Steve wasn’t there yet but he was warm and fuzzy and filled with pizza. Chrissy was painting his nails and making doe eyes at Robin as she ranted about the movie they’d come back from. Hours of listening to how it was a travesty of cinema and everyone should be kicked out of Hollywood for it. Something Chrissy somehow found magical. Steve, on the other hand, kept talking about parts of the movie he “liked” to wind her up more.

They’d grabbed dinner on the way back to Robin and Steve’s place and decided it was the sort of night to find a good soundtrack and have a few drinks. Steve was sure Robin had spilled half of hers on the ground in a heated debate. Their place was going to smell like a seedy dive in the morning. Tomorrow's clean up was worth it for tonight's fun.

It wasn't only them, Eddie was here. Somewhere. Not that the apartment was big enough for it but Steve had lost Eddie at some point in the last hour. It hadn’t been that big of a problem but Steve really wanted to go outside for a cigarette since Robin refused to let them smoke inside. Even when they were drinking. And what was the point of having a boyfriend if it meant going to smoke alone?

Calling out telepathically hadn’t worked, maybe that was just Robin who knew what Steve wanted before he did. Or maybe Robin was blocking the psychic waves as payback for pretending to like the movie. Steve didn’t know how all that worked exactly.

What he did know was it wasn’t working and he was going to be so pissed if Eddie was in his room sleeping or something lame. He’d had a bit more to drink than Steve and less to eat so a nap was plausible.

Winding Robin up had stopped being fun and his nails were all now a crisp purple-ish blue. Chrissy wasn’t sure how she felt about the color and thought Steve would be a good test subject. He never minded a bit of nail polish but this color didn’t feel like him. Robin could help him get it all off tomorrow, for tonight it was fine.

However, that took away their activity. So they talked in circles. TV? Cards? A walk? None of the choices felt right and seconds before calling it a night became the only solution, Eddie came walking into the living room.

“Hey guys, did you wanna go beat up some freshman with me?” he said in a ridiculously deep voice.

Dressed head to toe in Steve’s clothes, Eddie put his hands on his hips and did a few little poses. Steve narrowed his eyes, not needing psychic communication to let Eddie know what thin ice he was skating on.

“Ugh gross, who is this guy?” Chrissy laughed.

“Where did you find it? What has it done with Eddie? Kill it with fire!” Robin shouted.

“I didn’t beat up freshman,” Steve sighed.

“He looks like that and you take problem with the cliches?” Robin asked.

“Well, I didn’t,” Steve said, glaring at her.

Eddie flexed his bicep and tried to look bored. Steve could tell he was struggling to hold still and keep up the act. This was peak humor to him right now. Sure, it was because of the liquor but it was almost insulting. Each piece of this look was something Steve wore earnestly.

Part of the humor was it was so far from Eddie’s regular wear. A thought that lit a light bulb above Steve’s head and he pushed up off the couch. “My time has come then. I’m doing it. I’m putting that Metallica shirt on!” he said with an evil laugh.

Instantly Eddie washed white. “DON’T! I told you that you couldn’t wear it until you could sing one song! So either sing or you’re not getting anywhere near it!”

“Do they sing the one that’s like ‘pour some sugar on me’?” Steve stood in the middle of the living room, a faux innocent look on his face because he knew exactly who sang that song.

“How do you live with this?” Chrissy asked Robin before Eddie let out a yell that was going to make a few neighbors complain.

“Usually, I ignore them. Especially when they’re like this. It is, however, time to find a really loud TV show to watch. Wanna listen to some music with headphones on?” Robin’s annoyed tone came complete with a disgusted eye roll.

“I can’t believe you would even bring that song up in my house,” Eddie said, hands in the air.

“It’s not your house, asshole!” Robin called over Steve’s shoulder.

“Do you think it’s too late now to make him change?” Chrissy asked from behind Robin.

“Yeah,” Steve and Robin said together.

"It's just so wrong," Chrissy whispered. Not heard by most as Steve continued to yell at Eddie.

“If I can’t wear the shirt you can’t wear that until you say something nice about the Bulls.”

“I think they’re a majestic animal,” Eddie mocked. "Probably not something to wear red around, though."

Steve didn’t respond, he just took off toward his bedroom. He couldn’t remember what shirts Eddie had here but one was about to become his.

[snezfics-n-shit]

Sicktember Day 20: Cramping Pain

Fandom: Ace Attorney Characters: Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright, Dick Gumshoe, Pearl Fey, Godot, Larry Butz, channeled!Mia Fey Notes: So this idea quite literally came to me in a dream last night so I am obligated to write it. Maya’s very clearly not doing so great during a long-awaited investigation reunion of sorts. She insists she’s fine, though, because it has been way too long since she’s had the opportunity to not only investigate with Nick but also see some familiar faces. Of course, it’s Sicktember, there’s no such thing as “fine!” Again, set post-SoJ for timeline purposes, no real big spoilers beyond T&T here, just that it’s been a good while since Maya and Nick got the chance for an old fashioned investigation. There are small mentions of background Magshoe, Fradrian, Miego, and past Feychols, but nothing really impactful on the story.

“... And that’s when he showed me his sword collection! One of them looked just like the one the Steel Samurai used in episode–” Maya’s retelling of last weekend’s events was once again cut off by a wince and instinctive press of both her hands on her abdomen.

“Maya, I’m starting to think you might not be feeling up to today’s investigation. You know, you can go back to the office any time and use one of the heating pads there. Athena and Trucy made sure the bathroom cabinet’s fully stocked, too…” Phoenix dug through his suit pockets to find the office key he was more than ready to hand over. Maya already had the original office key, but after an incident with Trucy attempting to pick locks while blindfolded, both the office door’s lock and key needed replacements.

“No, Nick, it’s not cramps like that! I’m on the pill, anyway.” Maya took a deep breath through clenched teeth as pain waved over her once again. “It’s kinda… worse,” she held up her right hand to stop Phoenix from interjecting, “but I can handle it! Trust me, Nick!” 

“Alright.” Phoenix had no intention of arguing with Maya, especially when they both were eagerly looking forward to this investigation. “Wait, I thought you weren’t allowed to go on the pill. Kurain politics and all that.”

“I’m breaking the cycle.” Maya shrugged with as much of a grin as she could muster. 

“Aw man, you were the one who broke my bicycle, pal?” The familiar voice of Detective Gumshoe joined the conversation, though he clearly lacked enough context. “I mean, it’s not that bad with my new salary, but I wish you would’ve told me!” 

“Detective Gumshoe!” Maya ignored the misguided accusation and ran into a hug with the scruffy detective. He wasn’t very scruffy anymore; in fact, it was so clear he had recently shaved that Maya could smell the aftershave on him. The strong chemical smell made her nose run, but she didn’t care. She missed the big guy so much! “It’s been forever! How’ve you been? How’s Maggey? How’s–” 

“Woah, woah! Calm down.” Gumshoe chuckled heartily. “Maggey and I have been doing fine. Missile’s been dealing with a bit of arthritis lately, but the vet said he’s in otherwise great shape.” 

“Aw, poor old guy.” Maya’s eyes wettened in sympathy. “I hope he’s not in too much pain–!!” Speak of the devil, her own pain was making itself known again. 

“Did I hug you too tight, pal?” Gumshoe stepped back to give Maya some space. He waited a few seconds to see if she would be alright, only for her to still be doubled over in pain.

“Maya!!” Phoenix couldn’t help but shout. A memory of his daughter flashed in his mind, prompting him to feel Maya’s forehead out of pure instinct. “Gumshoe! Get an ambulance! I think it might be her appendix!” 

“On it, pal!” 

. . . 

The nurses told him that she’d be fine, so why was Phoenix’s mind still playing a loop of everything that could go wrong? Was it because he should have figured out what was going on sooner? Was it because he remembered Trucy’s medicated ramblings about Houdini’s demise prior to her own appendectomy? The latter certainly didn’t help, especially when he was sure that was a moment his family could look back on with light laughter in the future. Clearly, whatever that future was hadn’t come yet. 

“Is Mystic Maya okay?” Pearl’s arrival and worried questioning brought Phoenix back to the present. “I would’ve come sooner, but Mr. Godot got pulled over…” 

It made sense for Godot to come with, now that Phoenix really thought about it. His relationship with Mia essentially made Maya family in all but blood. With the Kurain Channeling Technique, Mia’s death was hardly an obstacle for that, at least once Godot was finally free from the grasp of needing to find someone, anyone to blame for what happened. 

“Surgery wrapped up about a half hour ago. The last nurse I spoke to said she’s still asleep, but she should be fine.” Stating the situation aloud helped Phoenix to calm his own worries.  

“So help me if anything–” Godot started, but quickly calmed himself once Phoenix’s words registered and he saw Pearl’s relieved expression. “I’m, uh, glad she’s doing alright.” He corrected his initial angry tone. 

“Is it okay if Mr. Godot and I make a trip to the gift shop?” Pearl asked. “We saw some Pink Princess themed ‘Get Well’ balloons on our way here.” 

“Sure,” Phoenix nodded, “I’ll, uh, be here and let you know if we can see her once you get back.” 

. . . 

Phoenix wasn’t sure if Maya had woken up well before the last time he checked in with the nurse or Pearls and Godot just took a really long time buying nearly every Steel Samurai and Pink Princess themed item they could afford at the hospital gift shop. Either way, the three of them were not at all the first visitors Maya received. 

Larry was right there at Maya’s bedside, puzzling Phoenix because he was in such a rush that he hadn’t had an opportunity to inform anyone besides Pearls. 

“Nick!” A unison greeting from the two beckoned him closer. 

“Larry was reading one of his books to the kids in the hospital playroom.” Maya explained happily, but she still sounded groggy. “He was on his way out when he saw me in the window.” 

“Not a lot of people have a topknot quite like Maya’s.” Larry laughed before returning his attention to the recovering patient. “Franzy and Adrian hope you get well soon, by the way, and Edgey’s boarding a flight here as we speak.” 

“Please tell me you were at least aware of what was fully going on before you told anyone.” Phoenix pleaded, not wanting a repeat of the time Larry had nearly everyone convinced he had died after falling into Eagle River.

“Well, uh, not really…” Larry answered sheepishly.

“It’s okay! I’m okay with my condition being shrouded in mystery.” Maya smiled. “You need to lighten up, Nick.” 

That was easy to say when Maya wasn’t the one internally panicking in the waiting room over what sounded like a matter of life and death. 

“That reminds me, Pearls and Godot are here, too.” Phoenix gestured to the open door, not sure what was taking the two so long until the pair walking in did not include Pearl. Well, technically, Pearl was there, but…

“Sis!” Maya recognized Mia right away. 

“Mia?” Phoenix pulled his channeled mentor aside. “What about Pearls?”

“She figured Maya would want to see me first.” Mia handed over a Get Well card filled to the brim with Pearl’s handwriting. “She did a great job of filling me in, too. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She wiggled her arm free from Phoenix’s loose grasp and went back over to Maya’s bedside, which Larry happily stepped aside from to give Mia priority.

Godot stood next to Phoenix, giving him a look encouraging him to let the sisters have their moment. Even if Phoenix was a little intimidated by the close proximity, it was clear Godot had no hostile intentions toward him, which still felt almost foreign, if Phoenix was being honest.

“I’m gonna look so badass with this scar!” Maya beamed. It was almost like Mia’s presence alone boosted her energy significantly. “You know, when Penny and I were going out, I think she had a scar like this, too. I’m gonna text her a pic once I can get out of bed without feeling like I’m about to keel over.” 

“Sounds like you still need a lot of rest.” Mia observed. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“Noooooo!” Maya protested. “I was gonna watch the Samurai Series DVDs that Nick borrowed, that is, if he felt bad enough for me to finally return them.” Though she still wanted those DVDs back, her teasing was lighthearted.

“I returned them!” Phoenix interrupted to object.

“Not all of them!” Maya turned back to Mia and lowered her voice. “He’s been holding on to the Sniffling Samurai box set for way too long.” 

“Oh, has he?” Mia raised a brow. “A curious choice for someone you’ve told me swears up and down that the Samurai Series stopped being good after the Rainbow Samurai.” She shot Phoenix a devilish grin. 

“Alright, I’m going straight home to return them and grab the portable DVD player, too.” Phoenix threw his hands up. “Do you want anything else?” 

“Maybe some lunch?” Maya suggested innocently, almost too innocently. “The usual, please!” There it was, turning the suggestion into a demand.

Phoenix sighed and left, with Godot and Larry following him just after a wave and some goodbyes in order to give the sisters their time alone. 

“So, what else have you been up to, Maya?” Mia continued the conversation once the crowd left. “I’ve heard you caused a stir with some of the older folks back home.”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe!” Maya started. “See, it started a couple years ago when I decided…” 

The sisters went on to discuss all kinds of matters, filling each other in on various events. Maya spoke mostly about her efforts in making the village a better place, using her power as master whenever anyone tried preventing her hometown from trying anything new. Mia had some updates on the sights she was able to see while channeled by various trainees around the country; being a sort of celebrity within the Fey clan had its perks like that. 

When Phoenix returned with the lunch, returned DVDs, and portable DVD player, he simply quietly set the bags near the bed before heading out to let Mia and Maya keep chatting. 

What a lucky woman Maya was, to have a sister who refused to let even death itself prevent her from checking in on her when she was in the hospital. 

Not many people could say they had a sister like that, could they?

[beerecordings]

Wolf Bite - Part 17

“I have kids,” he says, the second she closes the door behind them. “Two of them. And they're cute as hell, for the record.”

“You've done little else but beg for your life since I sent Anti out for you again,” replies the Alpha, kicking a chair into place in front of him. “It doesn't seem to be working out very well for you.”

Chase wishes he could be glaring, fierce, cocked like a gun. But he knows he's bug-eyed and pallid, a bead of sweat tracing its way down his temple like a raindrop on glass. The amount of cameras in this room is even worse than the darkness of downstairs. He remembers the anxiety that started to eat him alive in the last year of his streaming career: everyone is looking at you, and all of them think you're pathetic.

Iris folds her hands together, leaning against the table as she looks at him. He doesn't like that. He doesn't like her. He doesn't like that brutal smell, like a layering of something on his tongue, he doesn't like her eyes, looking into him instead of at him, and he definitely doesn't like this place, decrepit and tattooed in spiders.

“What do you want?” he whispers.

“To learn about you.”

“I don't mean that. I mean all of this.”

“Ah,” she says. “Of course. I'm a researcher, Chase. I'm conducting an experiment.”

“Living in the wild?”

“Oh, sure, living in the wild. We'll do that. But it's been done before. What we'll do is live as part of the wild. Never human if we can help it. I want to know how close to a real wolf you can actually get, Chase. And wolves, they don't pick their packs the way humans pick and choose and come and go. No. I'm an Alpha. I saw someone I wanted for my pack, so I took you, even if I had to have you bitten. When we're all wild, you'll stop resisting. The wolf, Chase Brody, is stronger than the human, even in turned wolves. That's my hypothesis. You're my research method.”

He feels something other than sweat running down his cheeks, and he swipes bitterly at his face. He wishes he didn't believe her. He wishes he thought he could resist no matter what. But the moon is getting so close to full, and he knows that the feeling of needing to be a wolf who belongs will only get worse. He knows because he did it once already. He couldn't resist the Second and he can't resist the Alpha now.

“Well, great pick,” he sneers, shoving mussed hair out of his face. “A fucking has-been Youtuber who got famous throwing shit at cups. I've been surviving on junk food, Gatorade, and my space heater for years. I'll be dead in a month living in the woods like an animal.”

“I won't let you die, Chase,” she replies coolly. “Don't be so dramatic. This had nothing to do with your videos – although they did give me a chance to examine your character, or at least the version you show to others. But I've seen your charity streams too, Chase, and I've been to your court dates.”

“What? How long have you been following me?”

“Oh, since before I had JJ turned. I knew exactly who I wanted. You getting away was a mistake, admittedly... Anti fucked that up. Couldn't keep you quiet enough. If he'd listened to me you would never have been barking and howling like that. He would have shut you up.”

Chase swallows, leaning away from her in his chair.

“But once the police came I knew it wouldn't be safe to go get you again, and taking Henrik would be tricky too. Then they sent you to Sean, and I realized you'd find Henrik there if I had him bitten too.”

“So we bonded,” Chase growls. “You planned that. Anti said so. But you planning it didn't make it happen. Henrik's a good guy, and we get along easily, that's the only reason we're friends.”

“Henrik's a trust fund kid with control issues and a sum total of zero social skills. You're not friends, you're pack, and that's because I picked a pair of isolated recluses, put them in exactly the same boat, and threw werewolf instincts into the mix. There is no possible scenario in which you two didn't bond the way I intended you too. My healer, the genius... and you, Chase. The pack wolf of all pack wolves.”

“I don't know what you mean,” he croaks. “I want to go back downstairs to Henrik. You're just a liar.”

“I've seen how you interact with others, Chase, how genuine you are, how you light up every room you step into when you're well. Everyone likes you, Chase.”

He starts laughing, then, despite everything. “You're actually out of your mind.”

“You will be the one to bring my pack together,” she tells him, smiling for once. “Leave the worst of the hunting and the fighting to me and the others, if you have to. You'll be the lowest rank of the pack, but the most central part, too, our cornerstone. When we're settled and we want more wolves, you'll welcome them, the same way you welcomed Henrik, showed him the ropes, cared for him. I promise you'll be taken care of too.”

“You can't possibly be planning to take more people. This is insane!”

“You're prettier when you're not cowering from me, did you know that?”

“If you're trying to make me throw up, just know that it will be you I throw up on.”

She's opening her mouth again when a knock rattles the door.

“Iris?”

“What?” she snaps. “I'm in the middle of something.”

“That doctor's going crazy. I don't want him around JJ. Can't we go for a run?”

“What, in that park where you nearly lost a fight to a fucking social worker? No. Everyone will be out looking for you. I'll take JJ with me tonight. You're staying here. And let the doctor go crazy. He can feel the moon coming. He'll be more himself by the time it's risen.”

There's a long pause, but Chase can tell Anti hasn't moved.

“I want to stay with JJ,” he says finally.

“I said I'm in the middle of something! Do you want me to tell you again? Medicate if you're anxious, just handle it.”

He retreats this time, but Chase can smell... too many emotions at once to pick them apart. Anti smells like that most all the time. Chase never knows what he's feeling.

Iris leans forward again. Her wild hair slides down her shoulders, hanging around her face. “I've been planning this a long time,” she says, very soft. “I'm so glad you're here now. You and the moon, Chase. I can't wait to run with you for the rest of our lives.”

He closes his eyes, trying to breathe. In some part of his body, like the instincts that teach birds to fly, he can feel the moon rising.

.

Marvin finds Jackie at home.

Their home. The thought is still warm in his stomach, but the rest of today has been cold despite the summer heat, everything layered over in goose-flesh anxiety for their missing friends and Sean in the hospital.

Jackie's at his desk, staring at nothing. Unnaturally still for Jackie, always meant to be in motion. He only turns when Marvin is so close he can't smell anything else, startling as he looks up.

“Hey,” he says. “Did you leave Sean in the hospital?”

“Nah, he's in my backpack,” says Marvin. When Jackie only frowns at him, he continues. “His brother just flew in from France, dummy. He's okay.”

Marvin pulls Jackie's rolling chair away from his work desk, spinning him to face him. “You're thinking about Chase and the doc.”

“I'm going to handle that,” says Jackie. “I don't want you worrying.”

Marvin pauses, rocking on his heels as he regards his cousin.

“Yeah,” he says. “You're going to get Graham to help you.”

Jackie's stern look breaks in half and his mouth falls open, staring at Marvin. “What?”

Marvin breathes out, shaking his head, and gives a little laugh for reasons he couldn't name. “Jackie. For all his many, many, many faults – like, a lot of faults, for real, probably hundreds – ”

“Yes, thank you, Marvin, I get it.”

“ – he's also the greatest tracker I've ever heard of. He might be able to catch their scents beneath everything.”

“Yeah, but I didn't want you to know,” says Jackie, voice rising. “I didn't want – ”

He cuts himself off, rubbing bitterly at his face. Marvin nods, breathing out again, long, low, slow. It's okay. They're okay.

“Jackie,” he says, softly. “Go do what you have to do.”

Jackie's shaking his head at him already. “No. I will do anything to help Henrik and Chase, but you're my pack, I have to worry about you first, and if this will hurt you, I – ”

“It won't hurt me. It's you. I trust you.”

Marvin leans down to Jackie's level. He reaches out to grab his shoulder, squeezing firm, familiar pressure into his arm, and smiles at him.

“I told you I wanted you to be my Alpha. That means I trust you to make your own decisions about your dad. Whatever you need, Jackie, I'll support you.”

Jackie's breath catches slightly, blinking fast. Oh, no. Marvin laughs again, weaker. If Jackie cries, he'll cry too, and they've had enough of that for this week.

“You really meant it,” Jackie says. “All of this.”

“Yes,” Marvin murmurs. “I will follow you wherever you lead.”

Jackie clears his throat and nods. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I'm going to call on Dad. And when I find them, Marvin... I'll bring them back to you. And I'll build a pack for you.”

Marvin feels his face stretch with how big he smiles. “Seriously? You're ready?”

“I will be,” says Jackie, rising to his feet. “Because they need me to be. And if you trust me, that's enough.”

He throws up the hood of his jacket. “Stay here for your full moon, where it's safe. Dad and I will be tracking. He's not pushing me around today, either. He's not my Alpha anymore. I lead my own pack.”

Marvin sees him off, watching him go from the door. He won't celebrate, not until everyone's home safe, but with the moon so close to full, he can't deny for a moment how long he and his wolf have both waited to hear words like those from the Alpha he's followed for years.

He doesn't want to deny it anymore, either. This is what he's always wanted. Finally, he can have it.

“As long as the moon brings you all back to me in one piece,” he whispers. “Hold on just a while longer. He's coming.”

He just hopes Chase and Henrik are still themselves when they find them.

.

The line of questioning Iris puts him through freaks him out so thoroughly he's actually relieved to return to the concrete prison of the basement beneath the house, but the door still closes behind him with a click like the timer of a bomb being started.

It's dark down the stairs. Chase stands at the top of them for a moment, shaking and hugging himself. He wants to go home so badly. He wishes he could have at least said goodbye to the kids.

“Schneep?” he croaks, padding down the stairs. “You okay?”

Claws scrabble in the dim light and he blinks as he makes his way down the stairs, trying to sort through everyone's scent. Henrik's still a wolf, and for some reason, it gives him a chill down his spine. He barks and approaches Chase in a rush, pressing his head into his leg.

“Your packmate's out of control,” snarls Anti from the corner, JJ panting cheerfully in his lap. “Howling and sprinting around. Can't you quiet him down?”

“Oh, yeah, I wonder why he'd be freaked out,” Chase snarls back, but Anti responds with a growl so intense Chase shows his neck, gripping at Henrik's fur. Henrik rumbles a threat at Anti.

“Dude, please give me a sign you're okay,” Chase whispers, leaning down to speak to the white wolf. Henrik nips gently at his hands, but doesn't shift back.

“It's his first full moon,” Anti mumbles. “He won't be himself much longer. You were the same way.”

Chase shivers and leans down to hug Henrik closely. JJ, apparently interested in the display of affection, trots over to the pair of them, tongue hanging out warmly. For the second time, Chase reaches out to the little stranger and puts his hand tentatively on his head. Henrik growls, but he doesn't do anything, and when JJ doesn't either, he goes quiet. When JJ is still, Chase rubs at his ears. JJ thumps his tail and leans forward to sniff at Henrik. For the first time, Henrik allows it.

Okay. At least they're not destroying each other down here. They've got to work together, and after all he's heard... Chase thinks there might actually be a chance they could.

He clears his throat. “Anti?”

Anti glares up at him from the corner. Even as a human, he seems to have an unnatural light in his eyes. Chase steels his nerves and approaches him, hands gripped into fists.

Anti watches him carefully. Chase sinks down to sit a few feet from him, showing his neck nervously, and it seems to soothe Anti in some way, the show of submission.

“I need to talk to you,” Chase says. “Quietly. Do you think she can hear this?”

“Don't try to conspire with me, dumbass,” grumbles Anti, rubbing at his face. “She always finds everything out.”

Chase scoots closer, licking at his dry mouth. “Look, man, she – she turned you, right?”

Anti doesn't answer, setting his chin in his hand and staring across the room at JJ as he gently explores Henrik's smell, that bushy black tail wagging endlessly.

“I thought it was all you,” Chase rushes to explain, voice low. “When you abducted me, when you made me shift – but I realized, while I was talking with her.”

“That it was her orders?” Anti mumbles.

“Yeah, well, I knew that. But what I realized, Anti, is that my wolf, the part of me running on pure wolf instincts – it never felt this way with you. This total fear I have of her – when it was you and me, it wasn't like that.”

“Because you bonded to me, idiot,” Anti snaps. “Duh. I'm the one who turned you. Of course your wolf trusted me, even though you shouldn't have.”

“My wolf doesn't trust her even though she smells like an Alpha,” Chase insists. “But you – my wolf never stopped trusting you. And that made me feel like shit the whole time I was trying to recover, because I didn't want to feel anything for you after what you did to me. But now I wonder if maybe the reason my wolf trusted you – the reason I bonded to you, missed your scent, missed being your pack – was because you are, actually, a lot more trustworthy than you're letting on.”

“Oh, shut the hell up,” Anti growls. “Are you joking? You know exactly what I did to you. And to the doc.”

“She told you to. Right? It was her idea. She made you.”

“Chase, why are you fucking trying to give me excuses? Are you really this desperate to believe I'm not dangerous?”

“Yeah, kind of,” he chokes, voice wavering. “Aren't you a prisoner too?”

Anti rubs at his face again. Chase watches his hands, frowning. Is he shaking? It's not cold. Chase reaches forward for a second, almost wanting to touch him.

“Anti,” he says again. “Weren't we pack, for a moment in time?”

“No,” says Anti, softly. “You're fooling yourself.”

“Please don't let this happen to us. Tell me you regret what you did, that you only did it because she made you. We have to get out, man. You can't want this to happen, can you? Your brother – ”

“Don't talk about JJ.”

“You love him, right? Is this really what you want for him?”

Anti won't look at him anymore. He's running his fingers through his hair, eyes distant.

“Even if it was your teeth,” Chase goes on doggedly. “She bit all of us, right? She – ”

“No,” Anti cuts him off. “No, she didn't. I'm a born wolf.”

Chase starts. “Oh. I thought you said...”

“I didn't say shit.”

“Why didn't you tell me when I asked?”

Anti takes a long time to reply. His eyes flicker up to the cameras all around the room, and he shifts in place, looking back at JJ, who's now trying to engage Henrik in a game, chasing his tail and yipping. Chase slips a little closer to Anti, desperate for any shred of hope. He can't lose himself tonight.

“I didn't tell you because it makes it worse,” whispers Anti.

Chase stares at him, waiting, but Anti never seems to volunteer any info without being prompted. “Why is it worse?”

He's staring down at his hands, shaking in his lap. Actually, they're shaking pretty badly.

“Because for nineteen years, I made sure my baby brother knew he could be a wolf the second he decided he wanted to be,” Anti replies, voice rough. “I would offer every year on his birthday: told him I could bite him, guide him, be his pack, but only if he really wanted. And for nineteen years, he told me no.”

“He finally told you yes this year?”

“No,” chokes Anti. “No. He...”

Oh, no. Chase's stomach hurts for a second, twisting up.

“He didn't want to be a wolf.”

Anti doesn't reply. His eyes are wide. Chase blinks, tilting his head to look at him more closely. His eyes aren't just wide, the pupils are blown.

“Wait a second, wait,” says Chase, almost laughing from how fucked up this all is. “Are you – are you high?”

Anti licks his dry lips, gaze flickering over to him. “No... I mean, I just had a little.”

Chase gapes, head shaking. “So she's your supply too. That's – holy shit, that's what that chemical smell is, and where the money for the fancy equipment comes from. She's dealing. What are you on?”

“Nothing illegal, they're just painkillers! Fuck off, okay?”

“Yeah, painkillers are still illegal without a prescription.”

“I just need something to help. She says the cravings will stop once we're wolves full-time.”

“There's no way it works like that. Anti, this is insane. You need to get out of this, man. This is – this is Alpha violence and addiction and maybe a cult, I think? And if you're her Second, does that make the two of you partners? She's the one who gave you that bruise on your face, right? You and Henrik and JJ and I, we need – ”

“Keep your fucking voice down!”

“We have to get out of this or we're going to get stuck!”

“They're stuck already!” screams Anti, whisper tearing into a shout. “Look at them! It's been months since JJ was human! His mind is gone! Don't you understand, there's no escape for us: he can't disobey her while he's this feral, and I won't leave my brother to this fate alone, I can't. So yes, I bit you and your friend, and I locked you up, I don't care, I would do it again to keep him safe!”

“Does this look like safety to you?” Chase snarls back.

“Once we get to the forest – ”

“No, once we get to the forest we'll all be lost, for good! Now is the time to fight her, Anti, now is the time to save your brother, because I don't think we'll get another chance!”

Anti clamps his hand over Chase's mouth, shoving him back against the wall, and all of a sudden Chase remembers exactly who he's dealing with. He whimpers, extending his neck in a snap, and Anti's teeth gleam even in the sliver of light through the high basement window-wells.

For a second, he thinks Anti will bite him just to show dominance. His eyes have caught the moonlight; they gleam more like a cat's than a dog's, silver and piercing. But a moment passes, and Anti just seems to crumple. His hand slides away from Chase's neck. His gaze falls to the floor.

“Iris used JJ against me,” his voice comes, tremulous as a leaf on the wind. “For so long, it was just talk: talk about her and I going away together, to live like real wolves. I loved it. Soaked in the idea. She was my only werewolf friend, and then something more, and I needed the connection. We made plans to go to Canada. But she started to change when I let her start calling herself my Alpha, and myself her Second. Commanding. Confining. I thought we were just fighting like a normal couple until the first time she hit me, hard enough that my nose bled. I tried to get out that night. She told me that if I didn't come home, she'd go to JJ's dorm in London and bring him with her to the wild instead.”

Chase's blood chills. For a second, he almost gets lost in the memories that summons in him: memories of his own sister, of his failed attempts to protect her or to get back to her. Even now, not having spoken to her in years – if someone threatened her, he... might do anything.

“We used to visit him at uni together. She got along with him, but he was having trouble with his professors and classmates. He – he's mute, always has been. A deformity in his voicebox. There were some incidents of discrimination, and he was having trouble making friends. He started to isolate himself. The worse it got, the more she started to talk about how much better it would be for him to be a wolf, how he wouldn't need to talk if he were living wild with us. I even thought it might be an okay idea, for a while. I let him know the offer always stands if he wants to come with. But he was determined to get his degree. I thought she was just lamenting the discrimination until she started to threaten him, to keep me in line. I realized she has no respect for him or what he goes through with his mutism. But by then it was too late. She knew where he lived, and she wanted him for her own.”

Chase can't help but reach out, then, just for a moment. His hand raises and falls onto Anti's shoulder.

“I was so stupid,” Anti whispers. “For not seeing what she was earlier. She's nothing but my captor, now, and his. I should have taken him and run the first time she threatened him. Should have called the police, should never have started taking the oxy's with her, should have – ”

“Dude, you can't blame yourself,” Chase whispers back. “This is messed up stuff, and these things, they happen in a spiral – start out small and get bigger, and by then, you feel trapped. She hid who she was. You did everything you could to keep him safe.”

Anti just shakes his head, lost in something else, somewhere far away.

“I bit him,” he whispers, so soft Chase almost doesn't catch it. “She pinned him down and ordered me to. Said she'd do it herself if I didn't.”

Chase closes his eyes.

“The way he looked at me,” Anti chokes. “The betrayal in his face... I... I haven't seen his human eyes since, and now, I never will again. I'm going to be stuck with that memory of him staring up at me, with the tears and the pain and the disbelief, signing my name... for the rest of my life. So you see... JJ and I, we're both stuck already.”

“Please don't give up, Anti,” Chase begs. “I can't do this alone.”

“You saw me as I am when I bit you, Chase. Just an animal, trapped by her will. I deserve this fate. Now, I can't do anything but try my best to keep him safe from her for the rest of our lives.”

His gaze goes distant, a drowsy, sickly smell poisoning his scent, and Chase knows whatever he took is kicking in. “I think it will be better in the forest,” he says, almost dreamily. “Maybe all these thoughts will leave me alone, and finally, I'll just be the monster I am.”

Henrik comes trotting back towards them, and Chase can't press any further. He doesn't think he wants to know more. Instead, he reaches out with trembling fingers and clutches Henrik's fur, burying his face in the side of him, and he cries for a while as Henrik sits solidly beside him, as though protecting him from the rest of the world.

JJ comes to join them minutes later, settling himself back in Anti's lap as his brother drifts, eyes fixed on something nobody else can see. Chase's bones begin to itch with the need to shift, but he'll hold on as long as he can. Someone has to keep track of Anti's pulse, thready and tremulous beneath Chase's fingers on his wrist.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

AHHAHAAH this is SO FUCKING FUNNY I'M TOTALLY NOT FUCKING CRYING AT HALF PAST 2 IN THE MORNING BECAUSE I REWATCHED THE FINAL FIFTEEN. @bat-plus-moth-equals-both IS WITH ME AND HE TRIED TO SLAM THE LAPTOP CLOSE SO MANY TIMES WHILE I TYPE THIS BUT THEY GAVE UP EVENTUALLY LMAO IDK WHY THEY WOULD TRY TO STOP ME FROM POSTING THIS I'M JUST GIVING EVERYONE AN UPDATE!

ALCOHOLICS YES WE'RE ALL BLOODY ALCOHOLICS I'M GOING TO BECOME AN ALCOHOLIC TO DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT WHERE'S VODKA GIVE ME VODKA

YES SLAY KING WHATEVER YOU WANT NEIL WE SUPPORT YOU AS A COMMUNITY

FUCK YEAH I'M CRYING TOO BABY I'M CRYING TOO

HE DID HUH DIDN'T NOTICE THAT THROUGH ALL THE FUCKING TEARS BUT YOU KNOW THAT'S ALL GOOD IT'S GUCCI BABY I'M NOT GOING THROUGH ANY STAGE OF GRIEF RIGHT NOW

THEY WERE WEREN'T THEY? AND NOW THEY'RE MORE DIVORCED THAN DIVORCED? ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS AND FUN? MY LITTLE PONY!

CROWLEY FUCKIN LOVES THAT CAR BABE! IT'S A GREAT TIME HERE HE LOVES IT SO MUCH HE LIVES IN THE CAR NOT BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING HOMELESS OR ANYTHING NAH NAH NAH THIS IS A COMEDY REMEMBER IT'S GOOOOOOOOD

BOUNDARIES ARE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT AMIRITE OR AMIRITE

AHAHAH OMG I DIDN'T REALISE THIS WAS LITERALLY A JANE AUSTEN DANCE LIKE GO BABY AZIRAPHALE FUCKING MANIPULATE THE ENTIRE NEIGHBOURHOOD HYPNOTISE AND SLIGHTLY POSSESS THEM YOU ELDRITCH BASTARD SLAY YOU'RE SO ANGELIC

CROWLEY BABY THIS DO BE SO ROMANTIC THO I LOVE CROWLEY DO YOU ALL KNOW THAT I LOVE CROWLEY SO FUCKIN MUCH WHAT WAS THIS LINE ABOUT AGAIN

INEFFABLE EVERY DAY IS SCHOOL DAY EXCEPT I LEARNED NOTHING IN SCHOOL BUT ON THE INTERNET YEARS AGO I LEARNED THE TONGUE HAS OLFACTORY RECEPTORS AND CAN SMELL SO YOU KNOW THOSE FICS WITH SNAKE CROWLEY SMELLING WITH TONGUE GUESS WHAT BABY BABOOS WE CAN DO IT TOO!

NO FUCK YOU SHE HIT CROWLEY OKAY

YEAH AND IN THE BOOK HE SLAMS THE DOOR ON CROWLEY WHO WAS JUST ASKING SOFTLY IF THEY WOULD TALK SOON BECAUSE HE WAS SCARED OF BEING TORTURED WITH THE SPANISH INQUISITION METHODS BY HELL BUT NO AZIRAPHALE WAS LIKE JOLLY GOOD BYE AND SLAMMED THE DOOR. AND IT SAYS THAT CROWLEY STOOD THERE, SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE. @neil-gaiman WAS THIS YOU OR TERRY, PLEASE? EITHER WAY I HAVEN'T DARED OPEN THE BOOK AGAIN BECAUSE I'LL CRY.

WAIT NO I MEAN EVERYTHING IS FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PAST TWO POINTS IT'S ALL GOOD HERE GOOD OMENS FANDOM IT'S ALL GOOD CROWLEY YES OBSESS OVER AZIRAPHALE HONESTLY AZI IS A BITCHY BASTARD AND AN ABSOLUTELY STUNNING CHARACTER AND SWEETIE PEAK BABYGIRL ENERGY

EVERYDAY IT'S A GETTIN' CLOSER GOING FASTER THAN A ROLLERCOASTER A LOVE LIKE TH--

BECAUSE CROWLEY IS A POLITE LIL SMOL SHITBAG AND I ADORE HIM

WE'RE ALL DYING LITERALLY BABY THIS IS A ROLLERCOASTER TO HELL AND IT'S PICKING UP PACE EACH MOMENT AND YES AZI IS SO IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY IT'S SICKENINGLY BEAUTIFUL AND WE'RE ALL CHILDREN OF DIVORCE (I'M ADOPTED)

DISCO TONY DISCO TONY DISCO TONY

OH GOD I'M SO SORRY TERRY PRATCHETT WE ALL LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR CREATING THIS STORY WITH NEIL WE'RE ALL DOING SO WELL WE'RE COPING I MEAN NOT COPING THERE'S NOTHING TO COPE WITH WE'RE ALL EMOTIONALLY STABLE INNIT

YES HE IS IMPORTANT AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO REMEMBER HIM. FULL STOP.

I MEAN YES SURE BABE THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART CROWLEY LIKES SPEEDING WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINAL FIFTEEN ALL I SAW WAS CROWLEY DRIVING THIS IS A SHOW ABOUT THE BENTLEY NOW I SAW NOTHING ELSE AND THE CAR DEFINITELY DID NOT PLAY ANYTHING REGARDING NIGHTINGALES

SEE GUYS I KNOW A LOT OF YOU KEEP CHECKING IN ON ME BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M NOT COPING NO NO LISTEN SEE I'M COPING SO WELL OR I WOULD BE IF THERE WAS SOMETHING TO COPE WITH WHICH THERE ISN'T THIS WAS A LOVELY COMEDY A LOVELY LOVELY COMEDY

Pt II good omens but i've still never watched it

so you crazies blew up the other post, and many of you tried to explain the plot to me. many others said there is no plot. many said i was accurate. many said i wasn't. and then i watched a few youtube edits of the angel and the demon.

I'm convinced that I know at least a little bit more now, so like the great guy I am, I decided to share how well you've educated me.

the plot is an angel and demon become alcoholics together while doing the good ol' animal husbandry

neil gaiman doesn't have social media

everyone is crying because the angel wanted to go to heaven and the demon said no

and then the demon did the kissy smoochy to make the angel stay and the angel said no

they were not married for 6000 years but they were more married than married

there is a car. it is silver and crowley likes it.

the car is then yellow. crowley doesn't like it. aziraphale does.

there's some kind of Jane Austen ball and dance

oh but also crowley gives aziraphale a more private dance in their home and he bows while making intensely sexual eye contact with the angel who is turned on and says nice and everyone is gasping about it

no one knows about god, not the fandom, not the characters, not god herself. god is ineffable. hey mum i learned a new word!

they run over an american witch

the angel likes books in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

the demon likes the angel in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

there's a gramophone

crowley says sorry a bunch of times

aziraphale keeps getting flustered and dying coz of crowley, and the fandom dies every time. crowley is also dying. everyone is dying. hopefully not literally, im now scared of this fandom.

there's a psychedelic drug trip at some point that's in the edits where crowley goes whee down a chute. either that or the sleep deprivation is getting to me. fuck you, good omens fandom.

terry pratchett is a guy

whether he is real, or a character, or like neil gaiman he is neither real nor a character, i am unsure, but he is important and people want me to remember him

crowley likes speeding

[billerak]

RWTC 2

Time for the sequel! My volume 1 post did great, a grandiose 3 notes. I can already smell the internet fame. Clearly, the fans want what I have to offer (That being: incredibly random thoughts and my always correct opinions), and I am here to give it to them.

Anyways when we last left off: We'd just stopped a grand robbery of dust in the docks! Well, Penny did most of the work, but it's the thought that counts. The ending was kind of abrupt! What wonders will V2 have to offer? How much of a mess will it make of things? I wonder!

Ep 1: We start the volume and the first thing Mercury does is… flirt? The way the line is read is so fucking awkward tho, lmao. I know the tukson scene was meant to be tense and menacing but, and I know I said I wouldn't do this much, but it's important here: The voice acting doesn't really sell the scene. It's not laughably awful or anything, it's just not very strong. Wow, Blake and Yang actually get an interaction where Blake actively replies to her! How wonderful. Thank you Ruby, that IS the current circumstances in which you find yourselves! The audience appreciates you for the explanation. Wow Neptune look at you I'm sure you'll be a super important character moving forward, relevant, always in the depths of the plot. No comments about the food fight. 10/10. Still my favourite secene from RWBY. Now Glynda I understand your frustration but everyone else ran away, these eight stuck to the food fight and wrecked each other's shit, I'd be impressed if I was the teacher of a combat school. I love Roman. He's a little shit. I'd bash his head in if I could, but that's why I love him. He's underutilized but his VA is clearly having a lot of fun and it seeps into the character. Do you think cinder uses her powers to make her eyes glow for effect at all times or only when she's tryning to be menacing?

On the Bees: Wow look an interaction! Clearly this has convinced me the writers had planned for it all along.

Ep 2: I do like Ironwood's always had that subtle tension to him. He's a man with good intentions but too much goddamn power for his own good. Leaving aside te absolute stupidity of a 'semblance' they gave him which was of course never mentioned in the show because it makes no goddamn sense. This is a general complaint I have, not only with RWBY but with pretty much all shows I've ever watched: JUST USE REAL BOARD GAMES. PLEASE. CALL THEM SOMETHING ELSE BUT MAKE THEM THINGS THAT ALREADY FUCKING EXIST. The only person I've ever seen who makes 'fake board/card games' funny is ProZD and dude literally makes a living out of playing and reviewing those. Anyways that's a me thing, otherwise it's a fine scene. Better than fine, really, because WHITE ROSE BABEEE THAT'S 2 EPISODES IN A ROW WHERE THEY'VE HELD EACH OTHER LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO "But Neptun-" Nepwho? Ah, blue haired guy. Right. He exists. Aight I'll just say my piece here because I don't wanna be saying the same through the whole volume: The whole Weiss/Neptune thing is just horribly heterosexual people writting terrible heterosexuality. Neptune's entire personality is being heterosexual. Literally. If a gay character acted the same as him, he'd be criticized for having 'gay' be his personality, or he'd be considered a token gay, or smth. Seen it a million times. Comes out of nowhere, any time Weiss does or say anything involving Neptune I wanna unalive myself, the two have the chemistry of water, and I consider this fanbase got off lucky that Neptune ended up being only a plot device to get Jaune to move along his own arc. So yeah any time anything happens with Neptune, unless I state otherwise, assume I'm vomiting loudly. … Honestly Blake and Weiss are kinda shippable here. 'Nooo blake why won't you talk to me- I mean us you promised' gay ass. Anyways while I understand Ruby and Yang going with the stupid plan and Blake has personal reasons for it… It does feel a bit OOC for Weiss to agree because, well, she's fucking right. These four are just students and they only managed to deal with Roman and the White Fang last time because Penny came in clutch. They're fucked if they do this alone. How… old is cinder? I'd say she couldn't pass herself for a student due to credentials but we know salem has Lionhart by the balls so… ???

On the Bees: Weiss and Blake had a nice moment.

Ep 3: You know, I never understood what Jaune saw in Weiss. Like, ok, she's probably cute at first sight. But she's fucking insufferable otherwise. Her team can deal with her but I'd fucking despise her v1-3 self if I went to the same school as her. I prefer the other outfits tbh. Where… Where was Sun hanging from? He was like, some ways away from the window, but there was nothing there to hang to. I guess his semblance could help but would he really- Yeah he would. Ruby here know's what's up and she wants none of it. NONE. It may look like Ruby is making fun of Weiss, but she doesn't understand that's just flirting. But her heart pulls her two ways, OH NO. By the end of this story, she must choose- Well, no, not really, since one of the options is literally twice dead. (yes I ship Nuts n' Dolts too, sue me) Weird that Weiss didn't ask to see Winter when the woman said she was around, given that later it seems like she'd give an arm and a leg to speak to her. Ok, the reveal that Penny is a robot rings a bit… hollow, since, uh, we already knew that. Her back literally opens into blades, the weird thing really is Ruby not knowing.

On the Bees: Nuts.

Ep 4: OOOOH that's why it's called Nuts n Dolts, innit. Normally I'd say the Ruby/Penny friendship feels forced, but this is probably the only two people in this show where something like this works. Penny has no real frame of reference for friendship and Ruby is just like that. Once again Blake and Sun out here exploring Blake's past together, nothing narratively important going on! Roman is so charismatic. Honestly I'd like to pound his- Oh hi Neo didn't see you there. Ok, see what I mean with "Adam could've made the jump"? Look at Blake and Sun here. Jumping gaps way larger here. I guess he was too stunned for too long or smth idk. Cool fight scene. Gonna be honest, I fucking hate that the fandom took these combo attacks for ship names. Like the concept is cool and all but at least back in the day following ship discourse could be so fucking annoying. Anyways here we have our first canonical explanation of how Yang's semblance works. "With each hit she gets stronger, and she uses that energy to fight back". Which implies she needs to take the damage to get a boost, something something equivalent exchange, but it wasn't something that was happening first volume. Unless we count 'getting a hair cut' to be taking a hit. That being said, I still wonder what's stopping her from, idk, hitting herself or asking someone else to hit her before a battle (assuming she can predict a battle is coming, ofc) to at least have some energy stored up in a safe environment instead of having to risk tanking hits from her enemies. Never quite understood how Neo's semblance works. It's illusions but they leave behind a physical glass form. But how exactly does it make her vanish? In most cases it doesn't feel like she's creating a flat screen surface but just a second body and… teleporting away. Feels like Blake's semblance but more overpowered, but also she can make anything out of it as shown later… Ah, whatever, I don't think the writers think about it too hard, making sense of it is impossible.

On the Bees: Well, they had their ship name called out.

Ep 5: While I love Pyrrha winning against team Cardinal, I have to wonder… why was she even fighting all four? Were the teachers like "Cardin your team is so shit all four of you against Pyrrha seems fair, go fight" or what. See what I mean? Mercury clearly thinks of his discovery of Pyrrha's semblance as something interesting, but Ozpin himself says they make extensive tests to the people entering Beacon. Even if semblances aren't a matter of 'public' record, Cinder later gets into the systems, so couldn't she just have just… checked then? I understand the 'blake needs to relax' bit but also, trying to force her into the dance? Sun clearly has a crush on her so him asking makes sense but the rest of team RWBY probably should've been more like "you need to fucking sleep" rather than trying to get her into a dance. I really like Pyrrha and I am really sad the crux of her character is "crush on Jaune." She has a lot of interesting shit to explore WHY IS THIS HER FOCUS. Like it's RIGHT THERE. A girl prodigy with an amazing semblance that everyone places on a pedestal. But instead of being about her it's about fucking Jaune.

On the Bees: Well Weiss continues to be the one pressing Blake to be more open. Is their ship name Checkmate? No, doesn't sound right. Uh… Black and White? No. Grey… Monochrome? That one sounds familiar. May be it (Yes, I wrote this as I thought about it. No. I'm not cutting it down). Anyways whatever the ship name is, so far I kinda dig it more than bumblebee. It's amazing really.

Ep 6: Here it is bois the big chapter for bumblebee oh boi let's gooooo Aight Yang attracting Blake with a laser is pretty hilarious. The Jaune/Ren moment did make me chuckle too. Comedy seems to be on point (for my tastes) this episode. Nora/Ren not being 'together together' is a point they make many times and I only ask… why? Nora isn't subtle about her crush on Ren. I guess Ren is quiet and timid but it's clear- Hey wait why is their ship name 'renora'. Don't they get a combo name? I know I complain about them but like. Feels unfair anyways. Other ships involving them get the stupid combo names. Why not them? What was I saying? Oh right it's clear they have a thing going on and like, they've known each other all their lives. This isn't made a point of until like, 7 volumes in. Eh, idk. Honestly, very impressive Pyrrha can just walk and talk normally with that knife—well, more of a fucking sword—on her back. Bla bla Bees conversation comments at the end let's move on. Oh hey that's Qrow's emblem isn't it? Who designs the emblems anyways. The owners of them? Some are unique, some are inherited. They're kinda like Cutie Marks tbh. Jaune offering a White Rose to Weiss, clearly a reference to THE BEST SHIP. MAYBE 2ND BEST SHIP IDK I'M TORN HERE. ENDGAME CONFIRMED BOIS. Blake's first dance is asked for but she still goes to the dance explicitly with Sun. Of course that is meaningless, nothing here ever built them up to have a thing and it is clear Blake never had absolutely any interest in him whatsoever. Anyways look at those background characters. All heterosexual, not a single w/w m/m pairing dancing, other than the 5 seconds of Blake and Yang. The pinnacle of queer representation right here, folks! Ozpin is a little lying shit but I guess experience does let him give good advice.

On the Bees: Ok. I want you to understand something. This? This is the F I R S T time Blake and Yang have a long, one to one conversation. In the show. Volume and a half in. They're not only teammates, they're partners. Ruby and Yang had a couple of conversations. Weiss and Ruby have had many. Even Ruby and Blake, famously interacting very little, had that conversation about books and fairy tales when first meeting. I don't care about the fact that they've spent months together at this time. That's not the point. The point is this conversation? It's the first actually shippable moment between them. Anything prior is /nothing/. You couldn't fucking write a developing relationship out of them with the interactions they've had before this point. From here on out at least there's a base to work with. That established, it's not the best base. Blake isn't her 'usual self' here. She's exhausted and in a terrible mood. The scene is mostly taken over by Yang's backstory. The conversation is Yang trying to make a point. It's a good conversation, and it finally establishes an interaction between them that doesn't feel loose. It's just a conversation I think would've been far more effective if we'd first seen them have more interactions under normal circumstances. Yang does wink at Blake and 'saves her first dance'. I believe this is the only time in this show where she's flirtatious towards a girl. Wonder why they didn't go togehter to the dance, instead of, well, I already said it above.

Ep 7: What was Jaune gonna do here? Beat up Neptune? Don't get me wrong I find him vomitive, as stated before, but the guy doesn't really deserve a beating for not agreeing to a dance, you know? Or was he heading towards Weiss? Kind of unclear, but he did look kinda angry so I assume he was going after Neptune. Like I get Pyrrha being drawn to Jaune for his ignorance of her and I do think that now it makes some sense she may be into him but I still don't buy how into Jaune she originally was. I do like this conversation between Pyrrha and Jaune, though. And, despite everything, this may be the only moment with Neptune that's genuinely funny. The 'I can't dance' part I mean. Usual applies to everything else. Nora and Ren are dancing, and Blake and Sun are… /still/ dancing? I can only assume they took a break, or they just really like dancing. Still not a single background gay! Dress moment is another Top 10 scenes of the show tbh. Throwaway gag turned funny/wholesome moment. Normally I'd call out the synchronized dance but these are hunters I can assume they have the reflexes to pull it off… assuming Jaune leads, anyways. Ah, yes, the legendary terrible running across rooftops scene. Here it is. It's legendary and terrible and funny. For real though I think I've seen worse animation moments before. I think it's just that this one likes like 5 whole ass seconds and gets full focus. Really? Karate chop? I know it's probably for the memes but girl, you can summon crystal blades at a distance. I reckon using those would be more effective. So… who picks the lockers and brings them back to the school after they hit, anyways? Is tehre a fine related to misuse of the feature? It can't be cheap, between reparations to the ground of wherever the locker hits, the damage to the locker itself, and the fuel used to launch it. RWBY giving pursuit and not immediately throwing away the shoes is the most unbelievable thing that has happened yet in this show. I… what? I don't understand teh architecture here. Did Cinder run all the way back to beacon? is the tower connected to beacon? That cut was real strange. Still no background gays! No but guys RT was really forward thinking they were totally queer-minded and had planned bumblebee from the beginning, clearly caring about rep and all that! They just coudln't be bothered to spend a single minute making two men or two women dance.

On the Bees: WAIT IT'S CALLED BUMBLEBY? NOT BUMBLEBEE? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME, I MUST HAVE LOOKED STUPID! I'm gonna keep calling it bumblebee, idgaf. anyways I think this may be the only time we see Jaune's knees? I'll keep you posted.

Ep 8: APOLLO JUSTICE TRILOGY WAS CRACKED! I WAITED FOR SO LONG!!!! What has that to do with RWBY? Uh, nothing. What was I doing? Oh right rewatching. Anyways- Never fully understood why Ruby wouldn't go to Ozpin about the info before. Sure they were breaking rules but sis this is a lot bigger than you four. The dog. Right. Forgot he existed. I will forget it again. How… how does war work in Remnant, anyways? If you take to a battlefield, Grimm would eventually overrun both forces. It'd be a three-way fight constantly. You'd think kingdoms in general wouldn't ever bother with war. Right? Ozpin giving the job to RWBY instead of a more experienced team could be considered as the reason it all fell apart really.

On the bees: I actually just finished ep 10 and thought this chapter's notes looked weird and that's cuz this episode had literally nothing despite ample chance and I forgot to add this section.

Ep 9: I like Ooblek or however that's written. He's never relevant again aftert his arc but this is how you make secondary characters memorable. "By giving them a gimmick?" Yes! That's actually exactly how you do it! Ace Attorney is an expert at this! Still don't like the dog. Also no huntsman we've ever seen has a dog, right? Weird. See, this seems to imply the Goliaths here are like, the same as Beowulfs or whatever that just lived that long. but… This is later retconned. As far as we know, Salem just creates whatever the hell she needs, and Grimm don't change forms over time. It does appear like they gain more armor over time… sometimes anyways. Like, they probably do grow within a single 'species', but these goliaths aren't any different than the newborns we see later. I also do like Ooblek's motivation. That is a valid reason to be a teacher in this shitty nonsensical world.

On the bees: They, uh. Talk. For like one minute. Weiss is also there.

Ep 10: I appreciate this conversation but here's the thing: Blake speaking of her semblance this way implies they're aware semblances are, well, tied to their characters. This isn't necessarily a problem, if maybe a bit on the nose, but then… wouldn't it also imply everyone should consider what their semblance means? What does Sun's semblance say about himself? That he's always willing to lend a hand? What about, idk, Pyrrha? How does metalbending (And yes, it's metalbending, not polarity, she makes shit levitate not just attract or repel from herself) tie to her personality? Is it just a reflection of her prodigious skill? You'd think it was the other way around. Yang's is obvious (She prefers rolling with the blows), Weiss's too (it's a hereditary semblance), and Ruby's… well, depending on whether we consider the V7/8 development a retcon or not it could change meaning, but let's say it's meant to represent how she's always rushing ahead. So, this being said, woudln't character development change one's semblance? It would be interesting, in fact. Maybe Ruby's semblance wasn't always what it later is, but her experiences changed it. Maybe the inconsistency in Yang's semblance is a reflection of this. I know I'm thinking too hard and nobody ever thought about it, but it's sort of a Jojo's stands situation. In Jojo, your stand is a manifestation of your soul and can develop alongside you. Ruby, girl, NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY. Ruby, girl, you have SUPER SPEED. HOW HAVE YOU NOT TRAINED YOURSELF TO ACTIVATE IT WHEN SHIT LIKE THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. Ruby, girl: you. have. SUPER. SPEED. RUN AWAY. I know he says he's stupid but he really kind of is. Wouldn't 'underground city' be the first place you look at when looking for crime organizations?

On the Bees: Uh… yang calls out to Blake first? Sure, let's go with that.

Ep 11: RUBY GIRL YOU HAVE S U P E R S P E E D RUN AWAY FUCKING HELL YOU'RE NOT EVEN TIED YOU JUST WOKE UP SO YOU CAN'T BE SPENT Jesus, FUCKING FINALLY WHY EVEN TRY TO FIGHT IF YOU'RE THIS USELESS. Which makes no sense, tbw. Crescent Rose, even if it was built with ultralight metals, would still require strenght to use just based on the recoil those shots have and the balance of the whole thing. Ruby should pack a punch. Anyways giving your MC super speed in any capacity is a problem because of shit like this. Superspeed is the most powerful of the 'basic' superpowers (That is: Strenght, Flight, Speed and Endurance. Most stories with superpowers include these 4 in some capacity and speed tends to be the most limited one). I like the bombs moment. It's pretty funny. See what I mean? Ruby shooting herself like that means her arms must take the recoil! Even if we take Aura into account this girl should be at least decently strong. I… could do without the dog moment. Like… it's just more offputting than anything else. Ooblek does take another paladin by himself, which is nice to see, in the 'oh yeah he's a step above the MCs' way. Why does Weiss suddenly give Blake the dust bullets? Why not before? Why not… idk, talk to her about it? Why even make them? Did Weiss ask for them? If so, again, why not give them to her before? I mean I know the answer is probably 'Monty fight scene had this thing and writers had to scramble to fill in the gap' but still. Why does Yang have that moment with Neo? They've only had that one 'interaction' which wasn't particularly personal before. See? The WF leader(?) here makes some sense. We know the Schnees have beef with the Faunus and the White Fang (That being, they're slaver pieces of shit and all that). And, uh, Blake against Roman is… I get what they're going for, but… Idk, I feel Ruby and Roman would've felt more natural. Given they do have that in V3 so I'll let it pass. Man, I love Roman so much. Have I said that before? The biggest crime in early RWBY is not giving him enough screentime, really. I love the theory that he doesn't even have Aura unlocked, since he's clearly not the best fighter out there, man's just very skilled at doing his job. Which doesn't often involve fighting wannabe hunter teenagers. It's why he's basically knocked out after so few blows. Weiss should do the 'haste' glyph thing a lot more often really. Action economy, girl! Everyone knows it's the key to win! I wish Neo had more of a… thing. Like, in general. Her fight against Yang is great, but how the hell did she get that skilled? Why's she working for Roman? Why does she care for Roman so much that she later becomes obsessed with killing Ruby so hard that when she thinks she's done she loses all purpose in life? Not really sure how to feel abotu Raven here. At least we got the Yang backstory to even explain there's something going on there but it feels so… random. And why is Neo so scared? What does she know? Why would she know it? SHE HAS NO BACKSTORY And THIS is why you want your general population with their fucking Aura unlocked!

On the Bees: Man the second Dual Destinies turnabout is kind of a chore so far. Like, I figured pretty much everything by the middle of the first day and I still got another day of investigation and trial to go through? I think the case could be improved considerably by just not showing the face of the killer. I know it's ace attorney tradition to show you the first couple of killers, but still. I like Simon well enough I guess. What happened to Gavin? I don't remember him being fired at the end of AJ.

Ep 12: Jaune taking command, nice. Was that foreshadowing for Ren's backstory? Honestly, not a huge fan of this fight. It's supposed to be super big in scale but I guess the budget didn't allow it? It also feels like it kinda lacks momentum. Also didn't we just spend like 3 episodes exploring Ruby doesn't have physical strength? Why's she kicking the Grimm like that? Don't get me wrong, this makes more sense, I'm just confused. I know it's a common complaint that team Coffee shows up here to steal the show for a bit, since they barely get any screentime ever. It's a fine complaint, understandable. I… actually kinda like it. Also ONE OF THE GUYS IS HOLDING OATHBRINGER. WHAT'S HIS NAME. GREEN GUY. Based. I feel like we should have seen a few adult hunters showing up, though. Non-teachers I mean. Huh. Ironwood did always have his sinister authoritarian vibes. I like that. I still love roman. And that ending dream thing huh. I'm sure the eventual meeting of these two will be totally worth it.

On the bees: Did you know I have written more Ami/Minori (from toradora) than the rest of the internet combined? Irrelevant to RWBY I just wanted to let you know.

For an extra this volume: I watched some of the shorts! I think these were the ones around by V2? Or maybe up to V3? Idk.

WoR "Dust": I assume V6 retroactively kind of explains Dust as the literal dust old humanity was turned into? Which is why it can interact with Aura? Very fucked up, but I like it. I'm on the fence on whether I think they had the creation myth figured by this point or not, but I do think they probably had the rough draft for it. Anyways this short doesn't really add much? It explains the 4 basic types and that you can mix them to make new ones, but everything else we probably could've figured ourselves.

WoR "Kingdoms": Ok so, Vacuo and Vale share a continent, while the other two are in split continets. Just taking note for later, not sure how relevant it becomes. In a worldbuilding sense, I don't think it's very reasonable to actually believe small towns could ever be built outside of big cities protected by natural barriers. Most people are clearly useless in a fight against Grimm, and honestly, just leaving the city shoudl be more than enough nervousness and doubt to attract hordes of them.

WoR "Grimm": Not much to say here, other than just generally wondering why Salem wouldn't just wipe out humanity herself sans a small amount of people who she could pin as Oz and the maidens. And don't say she couldn't have: If she can create that giant whale thing she could've done so a couple thousand years ago when technology wasn't so advanced. If you told me she was purposefully playing this game with Ozma, trying to keep it somewhat fair, I'd understand, but she clearly isn't. Oh well.

Anyways, I think I enjoyed this volume more than the last! Which is weird, I think people consider this to be the weakest of the first three. Idk, despite everything, I found the overall pacing to be slightly better, and we get some deeper info on our characters which is always appreciated. Not much else to say in general, but hey. Also yes, it's still a mess.

Also I'm fairly certain Pyrrha still not passing the bechdel test.

Also, if by any chance you're reading this, Crimson: 1) Why. Why do that to yourself. 2) Last volume you kept flipping your shit at me shipping whiterose and such (and other stuff but idrc about that). You seem to be unaware of the concept of chemistry. Ruby and Weiss are shippable because they have chemistry. Ruby and Penny are shippable because they have chemistry. Actually, all the characters I mentioned as potentially shippable displayed fair amounts of chemistry. And that's always my main concern with bumblebee. Sorry, but "vibing" while not interacting is very much NOT chemistry. It's kind of the opposite. Right now, with the information these two volumes have offered, I could write a lot of dynamics with a certain amount of ease. Bumblebee… not so much, because their interactions are still blank fucking slates. And I'm sorry to say this, but no, emptiness isn't 'complexity' or 'depth'. The only complex thing here is the fucking mental gymnastics you're doing to justify not only every bumblebee moment but also the show's writing as if it was flawless and perfect lmao.

[logarhythm-bees]

The Carousel Kingdom 🏰 CH9 Show and Spell

Masterlist

Prev - Next

The next morning, Virgil is the last of the group to wake. He opens his eyes to Patton’s blanket folded neatly on the couch, but Patton himself is missing. 

Behind Virgil is the clink of pots, and he rolls over to see Thomas in the kitchen, stirring up a bowl of oatmeal, while Logan uses xer magic to make- something with bread. Patton and Roman are missing from the scene, but the door to their living area is open, so Virgil has a pretty good idea of where they went. Distant laughing, in Patton’s joyous tone, confirms his suspicion. 

“Oh! You’re awake!” Thomas says, noticing Virgil gazing at the door. “We were just making breakfast. Roman wanted you to make pan-cakes, but we told them not to wake you up. They’re off with Patton.” Thomas nods his head towards the door. “Roman had a book they said Patton might like.”

“Oh, cool.” Virgil says. “What…time is it now?”

“It is nine-fifty-two,” Logan says, xer horn glowing as xey levitate another slice of bread, and Virgil watches as xe mutters something about heat. A blue glow surrounds it, and the bread darkens in color, the smell of toast filling the air. 

“Wow,” Virgil asks, impressed. “Magic toast?”

Logan chuckles. “It’s not particularly common to do it this way, but fire magic is our main way of cooking. Ovens allow it to be used in a controlled way, and are thus the most popular option. But experienced sorcerers are wont to use it all of their own accord.”

“Ah, always bragging,” Thomas laughs, turning the stovetop on. “Priding over me as I use a stove like a normie.”

Virgil snorts at that as Logan splutters, sparks flickering around xer horn. Thomas laughs, unperturbed, and Virgil pushes himself off the ground to move over to the kitchenette.

“I can make pancakes if you guys want,” he says, pouring a glass of water and sipping at it. “Do you think you might be busy for a while?”

“Please do, Roman wouldn’t stop raving about them. And if you could give me the recipe, that’d be great,” Thomas says. “I’m making scrambled eggs for all of us, but I’ll try to be quick.”

“No problem, take your time,” Virgil says, too sleep-bleary to worry about talking to a king so casually and unguarded, “do you think you could overcook mine?”

“Ah, an overcooked egg truther. I knew I liked you.” Thomas says with a wink, as Logan rolls xer eyes. “They are called over-cooked for a reason!” Thomas rolls his eyes too, politely.

“Yeah, yeah. No problem, Virgil. If you want to go corral Roman and Patton, the eggs will probably be done when you’re back.”

Virgil gives him a little salute and slips into the library, Thomas focusing back on the pan.

“-this is one of my favorite stories.” Roman’s voice drifts down from the second story, and Virgil follows it up the stairs. “I used to read it all the time before I went off to meetings, and then imagine the characters there with me, helping me be a good prince.”

“Aww.” Patton says. “That’s so sweet!”

Virgil spots them as Roman blushes. “I suppose.”

“Hey, guys.” Virgil interrupts them. “Breakfast time. I’m making pancakes.”

“Pancakes!” Roman exclaims, delighted. “Thank you, Virgil!” They give him a hug and then dash down the stairs, leaving Virgil standing there warm. Patton giggles.

“Are you sure you didn’t just bring me along for pancakes?” Virgil calls after Roman, laughing. Roman scoffs. “I would never! Your cooking is only a bonus, fair Virgil.”

Patton pats him on the back as his cheeks flush again, embarrassed that Roman seems so complimentary of him. 

“I’m making pancakes,” Virgil mutters, trying to change the topic, and Patton lets him with a smug smile. “Wonder if magic baking soda is gonna make it taste any different.”

“I don’t think it’s magic baking soda,” Patton comments as they walk down the stairs, “but your cooking is magic on its own!”

“Aw, Pat.” Virgil says. “I think you just have a sweet tooth.”

“Okay, I do.” Patton admits. “But your pancakes won over the prince of another world. That counts for something, right.”

Virgil fiddles with a hoodie string as they push open the door to the storage room. “I guess it does.”

Inside, Thomas has set out a fold-out table, and Roman is sitting at it, happily munching on some eggs. They seem content, swinging their legs and tail around, and Virgil feels his face warm softly.

“Virgil! We’re ready for pancakes!” Thomas says, offering Virgil the stove. “Let us know if you need help.”

“I think I got it,” Virgil says, “but, uh, where do you keep the flour?”

The room bustles as Virgil cooks- Roman talks with Patton about his book and Patton’s fabulous stories from the human world, and Thomas and Logan offer funny stories from Roman’s learning curve to become an acting prince. Mostly sneaking paints and pens into summits, making an art project of their royal summons.

“In my defense, they never said I couldn’t paint in the middle of meetings,” Roman says, hiding their face. “Though I understand now that perhaps it was implied.”

“It was funny,” Thomas says, “and certainly not the first time I saw you sneaking your art supplies around.”

Virgil feels something squirm inside him at the mention of being sneaky, memories of what is expected of him and their mission coming to the surface. He covers it up by serving the group pancakes, to various calls of delight.

“This is delicious!” Thomas says after his first bite. Patton agrees with a nod. Roman nods enthusiastically, “hmm!”-ing, shoving almost a whole pancake into their mouth, making Thomas shake his head lightheartedly. Logan, too, smiles brightly when the taste hits xer tongue, but xe notices the worry in Virgil’s face, evident behind their eyes.

“Virgil,” xe asks, “are you alright?”

Virgil sighs.

“…I’m still nervous about being a secret agent kinda guy.” Virgil admits. Roman hums as they eat another pancake, half in response and half at the meal.

“You are very thoughtful and intelligent, and rather adept to slipping around unnoticed.” Logan says encouragingly. “I understand your anxieties about- going around the law, as it is, but I think out of all of us, you are the best for it. You consider the outcome of situations well before you act in them, and even when that is not an option, you take any information you can to make your decisions, rather than jumping in recklessly.” xe says. “I think your cautious curiosity would benefit us greatly.”

Virgil looks at the carpet, picking at a loose piece of yarn. Patton rubs his back.

“What can I do?” he asks.

Logan smiles. “I know you stated you know little of magic, Patton, but your emotional intelligence would make you a great sorcerer. I think it would be worth a try to teach you a few spells.”

Patton lights up. “You want me to learn magic?”

Logan nods. Patton makes an ecstatic noise. Roman makes a similar noise about having another pancake in their mouth.

After they’ve eaten breakfast, Patton shuffles into the library, Virgil following behind. Thomas waves at him and stays at the table to begin on writing up some ideas, concentrating hard on the pen and paper, his antlers glowing magenta as he plans. Virgil wonders if he’s doing it on purpose, or if it’s an unconscious feat of the royal lineage, much like he’s seen of Roman’s glow. Roman themselves is getting cleaned up. Virgil wonders how they get shirts on over their antlers.

One of the easiest spells to learn, and one I think you will enjoy, is basic healing.” Logan says, interrupting Virgil’s train of thought. “The body already has the resources to heal small wounds, like scratches and cuts. You are just encouraging it to perform those actions quicker and more efficiently.”

“Ooh,” Patton says. “So it’s like giving your cells a little boost!”

“Precisely.” Logan says. “Let’s see…ah, here!”

Xe takes a book from the shelf, old and worn with a leather spine reading *Simple Spellcasting*. 

“May I see that stick? I will need it to ensure you are able to perform the spells,” xe asks, turning to Patton while opening and scanning through the book. Taking it out of his belt loop, Patton hands it over, and Logan grabs it seamlessly without looking up from the book.

“This first spell is more complex to learn, but necessary for any magic user without inherent magic of their own,” Logan explains, holding the book up but turning their attention to the stick, twirling it effortlessly between xer fingers. “It will allow you to command the energy present in the realm. There are some spells that may pose issues for us because they rely on a pre-existing magic source, but we will get to those later. For now, this should be more than enough.”

Under their breath, they begin to mutter.

Sparks jump off of xer horn, surrounding the stick in neon blue until they nearly obscure it, then they swirl around it like the cosmos and imbue themselves in the stick. It still looks like a stick, but the surface is cleaner, with a handful of blue gemstones inset throughout.

“Wooaah.” Patton admires. “That was wand-erful!”

“Thank you,” Logan smirks. “Catch!”

Xe tosses the stick to Patton, who does, indeed catch it, giving it a spin like a baton.

“Wait,” Virgil says. “If this is a healing spell, what are we testing it on?”

Logan nods. “A good question, Virgil. While this spell is intended for skin, it will work just as well on this.” xe lifts a small potted plant from the shelf, placing it on a nearby library table.

“May I borrow your foldable dagger?” Logan asks. 

Virgil stifles a laugh. “My pocket knife? Yeah, sure.”

“It’s fascinating,” Logan says as Virgil hands the butterfly knife over to xem. “You must show me how to do that trick with it later. But let’s proceed with the magic lesson first.”

With a not insignificant amount of caution, Logan flicks the knife open, marveling at it for another moment before taking a leaf between two fingers and making a singular, shallow cut in the stem.

“I will demonstrate, and then you can try it, Patton.” Logan says. “You can come closer, so you can watch closely.”

Xe taps gently on either side of the cut, looking at it scrutinizingly. 

The sparks jump off from xer horn again, covering the wound like a bandage. Much like the stick, the sparks swirl around it, then fade into the plant, leaving a sparkling sheen behind.

As xe finishes, the plant begins to reform itself at the cut, little bits of chlorophyll rebuilding the ‘wound’ until it has disappeared, only a small raised area where the cut had been. If Virgil hadn’t seen it heal itself, he doesn’t think he would have noticed even that.

“Wow!” Patton exclaims. “That was amazing!’

Logan blushes, rubbing the back of xer neck. “Thank you, Patton. Are you ready to give it a try?”

Patton nods, and Logan makes a second cut on the plant on a new stem. Xe puts xer hands on Patton’s shoulders, adjusting them just so in front of the plant.

“Now, focus. Think about healing it.” Xe says. Virgil chuckles. Judging by Patton’s red face and flustered expression, he might have a hard time doing that. 

Patton steels his focus, though, tapping once with the stick on each side of the cut, like Logan had done with xer finger. 

Patton watches, awestruck, as the plant reforms itself again, bridging a new form where a cut had been. Like before, there is almost no evidence that the plant had ever been damaged there- only a barely-perceptible, slightly raised edge where the healing magic took effect.

“Very well done, Patton.” Logan says. “This is excellent work, especially for your first spell.”

“Aw, well.” he smiles back. “I had a pretty good teacher.”

“You guys are nerds!” Virgil snorts, because any comment on Patton’s blush will inevitably result in Patton retorting with Virgil’s sappiness around Roman, and Virgil would like to avoid that, thanks.

“Perhaps you should try the spell too, Virgil,” Logan says, and xer tone is earnest, but there is a smirk on xer face. Virgil narrows his eyes at xem and Logan tilts xer head innocently. “It would be good for you to know it too. Just in case you need to heal a minor wound.”

“Alright.” Virgil says. “Do I need to go find a stick?”

“You can borrow mine!” Patton says, handing him the stick. Logan nods, making a third small cut on the plant.

Virgil concentrates. He taps on one side of the cut, then the other, just like he’s seen Patton do. Then, the spell:

Before his eyes, the cut heals- not quite as smoothly as the previous two, but healing nonetheless, the stem weaving new cells into place. It’s a little jagged- but it heals, even if the bump from Virgil’s spellcasting is a little bit more noticeable than the other two incantations. 

Even so- 

“That is pretty cool.” Virgil admits, handing the stick back to Patton. “I’ll try to remember it if I’ve got a wand, even if I’m going to be more of a kinda sneaking-and-fighting kind of rebel.”

Patton spins the stick, beaming, and Virgil gives him a smile. Logan nods at them sagely, seeing something behind Virgil,

“Patton, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to see how you fare with a more advanced spell. Virgil, I think Roman would like to talk.”

Virgil turns around to see Roman approaching him, hair still limp from the shower. They look a bit silly without their normal curls, and Virgil finds themselves endeared, blushing slightly.

Ever astute, Logan notices. Xe coughs, “You-“

“We’ll let you two talk!” Patton says, dragging xem off. Logan mutters out the rest of xer sentence, something about Roman being a sap and Patton interrupting xe’s prime making fun of Roman opportunity.

Virgil turns to Roman, ignoring the other pair as they walk away. “Hey,” he coughs. “You good?”

“I wanted to ask you that.” Roman says gently. “You seem to be worried about being a spy. But I know you can do it.”

Virgil bites his lip. “Can I?”

“You told me that even if you’re not ready yet, being a good person who wants to do good is enough,” Roman reminds him, “and you are a good person, Virgil. You’re brave and smart and kind, and I know you’re going to be great.”

Virgil smiles at them. “Thanks, Princey.”

“Anytime, Spy-olet,” Roman says, and Virgil chokes on his spit. “What!” Roman questions. “If you’re going to call me Princey, it’s only fair you have a nickname too.”

“Why Spyolet?” Virgil questions. Roman shrugs, smiling. “You’re a spy, and you like purple.”

Virgil squints at Roman, trying to seem annoyed. Roman shoots him back a grin. 

“Fine.” Virgil says. “But not in front of the others.”

“Yes!” Roman cheers, beaming, and Virgil figures he can live with the nickname if it makes Roman smile so wide.

[eukaryotesrool]

"13 Animal Facts That Ruin Disney Movies" Is Silly

The article I'm discussing

(Bit of an introduction, feel free to skip to the creamy center.)

These clickbaitey lists have always been a pet peeve of mine. Though I get a lot of amusement out of mocking them, so why not ramble to you, yes you and only you specifically.

Lets talk about the introduction for a sec

"From Timone and Pumbaa in The Lion King" (An excerpt from the article intro)

I'm sorry, WHO THE HELL IS "TIMONE"!? Oh boy oh boy, you know it's a good one when they mispell a character name already.

"Mushu in Mulan, these animals add humor and life to the films." (An excerpt from the article intro)

Are... are they implying Mushu the dragon is an animal? They never even try to give 'facts' about him, so it feels like mentioning him just defeats the point they're making about animal characters being neat. If they HAD to talk about Mulan, why not Cri-Kee the cricket?

"You won’t believe which beloved characters are actually based on real animals!" (An excerpt from the article intro)

Yeah, we'll see about that one chief.

I grew up on a good few of the movies mentioned, so I'll tell ya when my childhood starts crumbling, lets get into it.

(Bwhahahahahahaha, what a great start, and the image they chose! This has to be intentional)

Guys! G-guys! Come quick, Aladdin is ruined for me!!!

So, this is actually true and not presented facetiously. It seems like you can't really train them to stop, but like is this ruining the movie for y'all? I smell false advertising.

Also, I've seen some claims you CAN potty train them, so in the context of a Disney movie, mmm well consider my suspension of disbelief... unstretched.

(What the fuck bro?)

A good few of these fall into the genre of "If the characters acted like perfect little robots dancing along to whatever facts about their species I read: the movie would be SO different guys!1!!1!1!" I won't talk about a few of them, to avoid repeating myself.

If they were perfectly realistic, they wouldn't talk or think like humans (I'm refering to the anthropomorphized animals) even IF Marlin still has that instinct. That is the last egg he had with his beloved (and now dead) wife, and the other eggs are all destroyed, it is NOT any stretch of the imagination to assume he would raise this egg because of

1: his emotional attachment to it and

2: if he ate it, there goes his ONLY offspring, this would only really work if Nemo had siblings and/or we see other clownfish Marlin would be willing to mate with.

Anyway, a list of all the "wouldn't movie be so sad/scary/gross different if the characters didn't act in character?" Ones: 8 and 5

This is caused by boredom, Donald isn't bored, overcrowding (like in poorly managed farms, such as the ones that need beak trimming), or poor nutrition, Donald seems to have good enough nutrition

Also this essentially goes into what I was just talking about in the previous point, but frankly, most of them do.

(Sheesh Cracked, no need to talk to Simba like that, what'd he do to you?)

1: That doesn't ALWAYS happen (especially when the cub is also the fucking prince, you wad!). I watched a documentary (called 'Born in Africa' I believe, would recommend) and there was a lion cub debiliated by a broken back, but she was still being raised, not treated as gently as she should have been, but not abandoned. YET lionesses will sometimes abandon weak, injured, or malformed cubs and since exceptions NEVER happen that documentery is unrealistic, clearly.

2: I'm pretty sure the abandonment only happens while the cubs are very young and the lioness leaves the pride to raise them. That doesn't seem to happen in the Lion King, so we can assume the abandonment wouldn't happen.

3: He's the fucking prince, you wad! But sure, lets kill him because he doesn't have a sibling, not like he has the protection of the lion pride and the respect of the animals of the Pridelands. This is totally the same thing as wild lions real life.

(My poor heart can't take all this childhood-ruining!)

Ah yes, the other primary genre; the ones that are just plain silly, how could THIS ruin a movie?

Though I do wonder, why did they name him Flounder? Both in an in-canon and meta sense... huh.

Also, flounders are adorable!

(Fun fact: Because elephant metabolisms don't digest their food too well, their feces is full of nutrients which goes into the environment, through bugs, and plants, and such.)

This list is starting to feel more like "Thirteen weird and worrying facts about animal species which happen to show up in Disney movies"

Anyway, refer to the Flounder rebuttal.

I'm skipping number four because it comes down to what I've just said.

What? How does that even effect the movie? Are they saying the other rats being able to tell Remy's food isn't poison ruins the plot? THEY NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS POISON! They thought cooking food was frivolous.

Again, this is just listing animal facts which are maybe kinda tangientially related to Disney movies.

(Imagine the bottom text without the context of the image or top text...)

"Those wild clothes-wearing-mice are filthy, don't touch them!"

Specist, much?

Admitably I don't have the greatest counter to this one.

(What a coincidence, I've recently read/posted about meerkats)

Our friends at Cracked saved the best for last.

By insinuating Timon (Oh sorry) Timone is a mass murderer, did you not watch Lion King 1½!? Listen bud, you can misunderstand the word 'ruin', you can clickbait me, but I draw the line at failing to do the simplest research into the lore of the Lion King cinematic multiverse!

WE KNOW TIMONE'S BACKSTORY!

Okay, but maybe the writer denies the canonicity of everyone's favorite midquel, sure that's valid as hell.

But!

Female meerkats are the ones doing the killing, like male lions, they (mostly the dominant female) kill the offspring of other meerkats to try and give their genes a better chance of passing on.

So, are they insinuating Timone is not just a mass murderer, but also trans? You know what Cracked? You win, lets go with that! But I wouldn't say it ruins the Lion King for me.

Sigh BUT the theory claims he killed his meerkat friends, not newborns, so it doesn't correctly use the real life fact, I could accept Disney using a bit of creative-liscense, I could accept a fan theory using creative liscense (I'd eat the "Timone murderer and trans dude" theory up, if not for the midquel) but an article dedicated to talking about fictional characters following animals facts perfectly, gets no such privilege.

Outro

To clear: I bear no real ill will to the author of this article, it is a bad article, but at least it made me chuckle, and gave me something to rant about. Either way, I'm sure the writer is a perfectly decent person, good even!

And hey! They cited their sources, in some cases they seemed to not even read their own sources, but they cited them! And it is my belief that spreading knowledge an inherent good.

But they wrote a silly article, so I get to point and laugh, them's da rules.

[thegeneralreturns]

Thoughts on AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER

Well... I liked it. That's more than I can say for the first one.

What James Cameron's mega-grossing sequel to his mega-grossing original Avatar reminds me of more than anything else is Thunderball. It's the fourth James Bond picture. The plot and the villain didn't seem to matter to the filmmakers, but the underwater photography sure as hell did, to the point that it slowed the movie down to a crawl and padded the runtime a full half-hour longer than it needed to be. They bet the farm on people in 1965 wanting to see the Bahamian travelogue, and given that it's the highest grossing Bond film (adjusted for inflation), then they seem to have been right.

The thing is, between the solid first hour of Avatar: The Way of Water and the absolutely spectacular third hour is a shapeless and ponderous second hour that seems more than content to stop, smell the roses, talk to the locals, take soil samples, and catalogue the wildlife. Which is wonderful when a great writer takes you on the nickel tour, but James Cameron has never been the best scribe. His worst impulses betray him with this one, as he brings back almost every character from the first one. Even the ones who died. The man behind the camera is a visionary. The man behind the keyboard, on the other hand, is either afraid to break his toys, or thinks building new characters will take precious time away from the endless anthropological lecture and wildlife tour.

But that first hour is still good, and that third hour is still splendid. It isn't a coincidence these are the more action-heavy hours, which is where Cameron is in his wheelhouse. This is the guy who directed Terminator 2, and thirty years later, that movie still fucks. A:TWoW has a grand eye for spectacle, helped by the cutting edge 3D visual effects (which were so persuasive that, at one, point, I had to shift in my theater seat to let someone through, only to realize that the person I was shifting for was a character on the bottom right corner of the frame). I do recommend Avatar: The Way of Water, but only if you can see it as I did, by taking out the small loan required to get the 3D glasses to see it on the biggest screen you can find. I'm not entirely convinced it works as drama, but it succeeds wildly as a vivid and stirring light show. And the moviegoing public needs that as much as it does movies about multiverse-hopping dry cleaners.

As with Thunderball, James Cameron's film broke the bank on the notion of providing a kind of experience that you just plain cannot get at home. He spent billions of dollars of the Walt Disney Corporation's money to take us into the future of filmmaking, only to show us how much some shit just plain don't change.

Which is, y'know, an idea, I guess.

[or-something-better]

Sam’s Story Corner

July 26, 2022  First posting

🚨✏️🔮✏️🚨✏️🔮✏️🚨✏️🔮✏️🔮✏️🚨

Sam

Okay Guys, let’s kick this place off with a Simple Writing Assignment… the 1st topic is “I Went To The Store” Very straightforward, something that everyone here has actually done multiple times.

Please write a short story about your Character’s trip to the store. You can write it anyway you want, just please be sure to share something about your character with us that we might not know.

Easy Peasy. I’ll be back to post my own. I’m so excited to read what you guys all come up with!

……………………………

Ruby

SHOPPING, NEW ORLEANS STYLE

Looking through the spell once more, I went to my cupboard to find the lichen needed but came up empty. Damn! I forgot I’d used it all. Well, times have been hectic and dangerous lately I told myself to excuse my screw up.

Thinking of the surrounding witch shops in Kansas, I know I won’t find any there. Well, there was nothing left to do but hit New Orleans.

Popping over to the French Quarter, I knew the ingredient I was after would not be found in any of the tourist shops in the Witch Corridor. I headed to the back alleys.

The sights and sounds remained relatively the same. Even the smells brought back memories. Time may march on, but some things never change.

Finding the unassuming door I was looking for, I knock once, pause, then twice more. As I wait, I glance around. No one pays me any attention. The door opens, revealing a young woman. Looks are definitely deceiving. She’s over two hundred years old. She’s surprised to see me.

“Ruby!” she cries coming out and hugging me. I give her a great big hug back. “Esmerelda! It’s so good to see you! How long has it been?”

“Too long. Come in, come in!”

Following her inside the shop, I can feel the years fall away. We took several minutes catching up then she got down to business.

“So what brings you here?”

Giving her my short list, she goes over it and starts walking around the shop collecting them in a basket. While she’s doing that, I also walk around the shop, seeing if there might be something else I might need since I don’t get to the French Quarter very often. Picking up a bone and looking it over, I ask “Is this the last mole skull you have?”

Esmerelda is squatting down, pulling out a drawer and looking through it. “Yes, for now. I have more on order.”  Holding on to the skull, I keep looking, finding more thing than those on my list. I take my time going through the potions and add a couple to my already full arms.

Forcing myself to stop, I take everything to the counter and set it all down in a pile. Esmerelda is there, ringing everything up and putting it in a bag.

“You have the best stuff Esme!”

She smiles and takes my money. “Come back more often” she tells me.

“You can count on it. I seem to be using more ingredients lately. And I trust yours.”

Giving her one last hug, I pop back to the apartment and begin putting everything away.

………………………………….

Sam

I had been prowling around inside the Bunker for the last few days, foul tempered and waiting for the other shoe to drop. After the stunt I’d pulled with those demons at the Gas ‘n’ Sip a few nights ago, I’d fully expected to have my brother, or Charlie, or hell even Cass take me to task over it. But nadda… nothing… no one had accosted me or had spoken a word about it since.

There was just no way I was going to get away scot-free after something like that, no matter that it turned out all good for everyone in the end; but no way was I going to seek anyone out and apologize either. Nope. I’d just keep movin’ on, head down and nose clean. Given the time to rethink my actions of the other night, I knew that I’d do the exact same thing over again. Maybe that was why no one had shown up to haul my ass over the fire. I just told myself it didn’t matter and when Alex had asked for someone to do a quick supply run for more diapers, I’d jumped at the chance for a reason to get out of the Bunker.

As I pulled my Charger into the CVS parking lot, its headlights flashed over the solitary form of Castiel standing in the shadows next to the building. With an audible groan, I rolled my eyes and shoved the car into park, turning off the key. “Damn it!” So much for no one talking to me, I thought. With a loud exhale, I opened the door and stepped out.

“Hey Cass, what’s up?”

The angel gave a nonchalant shrug and moved closer, but didn’t say a word, not one word. He only looked at me with his usual intense, almost blank, expression. Guilt immediately rushed like a wave over me. I’d known it would happen, I’d just been lying to myself, telling myself that everything was alright. Throwing my hands up in the air, I all but shouted at him.

“Fine! Say it! I'm a SHIT! I know it!”

Taking several deep breaths before clenching my teeth and willing myself to calm down, I stumbled back and caught myself on the car. Leaning back against it, I just hung my head.

“Look Cass, I don't know what to do here anymore, alright? How can everybody just expect me to stand by and do nothing when I can help? Do you all really expect me to not step up when it’s needed?”

When Cass continued to remain silent, I quickly did the math and realized there was no way this conversation was going to end well… right here, right now. Forcing myself to stand up straighter, I brushed past the silent angel and headed toward the store’s entrance, calling back.

“Gotta get diapers... Later.”

……………………………….

Charlie

Back long before I met the boys, I had seen the supernatural and never known it. My mother was a hunter. A woman of letters in fact, but she had always hidden it from me. Or so I thought. It was 1993, we had gone to the mall. It was time for back to school and I needed some new clothes. Mom was always really good about letting me express myself through my outfits, and she always encouraged me to be my self. I was browsing through the racks when she said she had to step away for a minute. I was a really curious child so naturally I followed….but at a distance. She met up with a man in a suit, she didn’t look very happy to see him. He kept calling himself the king of the crossroads….. my mother was asking him to leave her family alone. That we had nothing to do with the hunting. He warned her that if she didn’t call off her men, he would make her pay. I’m not sure if he knows I remember…. After the accident…. The one that took my parents…. I didn’t have any memories…. I have to wonder now if they didn’t do that on purpose…. All these years later I remember the meeting, and the warning…. And the demon responsible for it all…. But now we called him family…. Can demons change?? I mean, Ruby had proven herself many times over…. I could only hope the relationship I had with Crowley would be enough for me to finally find out what happened that fateful night…. Now to get the courage to tell him.

…………………………

Patience

I've been hold up at Jody's for days, just wondering what I was going to do for the rest of the week.  Wondering how my dad's doing he hasn't spoken to me since I left suddenly my phone rings it's Jody asking me if I could do some grocery shopping since she's going to be tied up at work of course I said yes.      I grab my purse and car keys as I'm heading for my I'm stopped in my tracks by a vision   OMG I said out loud and the first one since the creatures from the bad place came. I'm walking into the store but not today this is weird I say out loud thinking as if I'm actually talking to someone else ok get it together it's just a vision I'm getting in the car driving to the store. I get there I am sitting in the car the vision starts again. I see myself walking through the.   Don't see anyone I know which is weird because I already know everyone that works here ok I say let's get this over with and just go in. walking through the store door I do see someone I know. Daddy I  yell running to give him a hug.

………………………

Henry

Back when  my brother was still alive we would go school shopping with our sister . We called her that but she actually was part of the family that adopted us. She was pretty nice but I don’t talk to her anymore due to me leaving. We would go to the mall in Portland to get our clothes and hangout with our friends. I remember my brother had to stop me from buying lots of sweets and actually to buy clothes. Afterwards we would go to the Powell's bookstore the biggest bookstore I have seen. I would get lost in it and they would find me tuck away reading in a little hiding hole. Our sister was only a year older than my brother with blonde hair and a bit alethic. She was the star on the track team throughout her high school years. I now I believe she’s a doctor.

………………………..

Young Crowley at the Market

At seven years old Fergus was a fairly carefree child, when he was left on his own. His mother Rowena was never the most affectionate, but she was also never very present either. Early one June morning young Fergus was weeding his mothers herb garden, she’d been gone for almost a fortnight and by helping with upkeep he was hoping that she’d be pleased enough to perhaps tell him he’d done a good job, maybe even hug him. Many other children in the village received hugs from their parents and it seemed like a pleasant experience. It seemed much more inviting than the slaps and flailing his mother seemed more inclined to.

“Fergus!” The young boy’s head whips up and fear flickers through his dark brown eyes before standing, dusting his hands off on the patched trousers and running towards his mothers voice “Mama you’re home” he cries feigning excitement as he halts by her side taking her packages. “I will need you for my potion before we go to market.” Fergus nods before scampering inside and quickly putting things away as he listens to her in the pantry. “Boy what is this?” she demands stepping out holding a piece of parchment with his slanted writing “This is a pathetic attempt you stupid boy. You’re always so useless!” Fergus takes a step back and hangs his head “Yes mother. I’m sorry.”

Rowena throws the parchment into the fire and drags Fergus into the pantry where she had a spell brewing “Arm boy. At least you’re good for something.” Swallowing hard, he rolls up his threadbare sleeve which was littered with scars both old and new. With a bruising grip, his mothers hand wraps around his wrist and jerks it over the cauldron, slashing a golden blade down his wrist and squeezing his arm so blood oozes into the bubbling potion.

As the potion simmers in their house, Rowena drags Fergus into town as he hastily attempts to bandage his still bleeding arm. The manic redhead rants and raves about how expensive her potions ingredients have become and scorns him for most likely ruining the herbs she was growing behind their shack of a house. Despite being such a talented witch, she was gone for weeks or months at a time so her son was left in squalor attempting to maintain the rundown homestead. Approaching a farmer he falls on his face as mother shoves him forward, Crawling out of the dirt he listens as his mother attempts to barter with the man only to feel his stomach sink when he reaches her side and hears “Come now, surly you can afford three of your wee piggies for the little bastard.”

Fergus moves to his mothers side looking betrayed “Mama you……you wouldn’t?” Rowena looks down at him and sneers before turning back to the Farmer “Three it is. Do what you want with it” The young MacLeod boy screams for his mother and tries to run after her only for the farmer to grab his arm right where he’d been sliced earlier and falls to his knees in pain. He sobs begging his mother to come back, asking why she doesn’t love him. The farmer kicks him “Stop yer crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Fergus hiccups and tries to stop while being dragged away. As he stumbles and falls, the farmer turns to attack him again only for the man to fall dead. Fergus stands and walks back seeing a different man standing with a bloody knife. “Who are you?” he asks in shock and fear. “I’m your father, now hurry home boy.”

As the man, his father, walks away and just for a second Fergus swears the man had yellow eyes.

………………….

Crowley

I sat in my throne listening to yet another nobody demon go on pissing about nothing when someone I actually care about enters. I stand and fling the demon across the room before kneeling and scratching Juliet behind the ear. “Hey sweetie, daddy’s here. What do you need, my good girl?” She barks and licks my cheek. Chuckling, I stand and pet her before vanishing to the nearest PetSmart.

Grabbing a cart I trek through the aisle looking for my girl's favorite food brand, though still planning on stopping at the butchers to spoil her with some fresh steaks. I hesitate in front of the toys, picking up some of the rawhides  and chew-toys, shaking my head muttering about how she doesn’t need more toys while promptly filling the cart. “Spoiled bitch.” I mutter affectionately before continuing to push the cart ahead. I pause seeing a stuffed animal ahead and pick up the black dog thinking about the kid and add it to the cart heading to checkout.

As I take the bags back to hell I whistle for Juliet who bounds forward happily biting into her food bag as I look at the plush and sigh. Why would the kid want something from a demon Screw that, why would the kid want something from HIM? He was probably the most unlovable person that kid knew and it sounded like he’d met god. Sinking to the ground I conjure a bottle of scotch and chug it before chucking the stuffed animal into his fireplace and coaxing Juliet over with a bone “There’s my girl. You….you need me. That’s why you stay and I know that but……Do you love me?” I hug her neck sighing as she lets out a soft woof that I just hope is a yes.

……………………….

Donna

It’s was a week before Our big day in May 2000. The girls and I had scheduled the last fitting of my gown and shopping first their gowns. Everyone was in the wedding so all the ladies and I made our way to the dress shop. Alex was truly excited, and we chatted the whole way to the shop and as we walked in the store! Jody asked about details of the wedding as we walk.

Shopping through the racks with the ladies getting soft flowing dresses for our country circle of love from heaven wedding. Each lady found a perfect dress soon. Very soon, it was time for my final fitting, getting dressed it was odd how quiet the store got…. I step out of the room and step up to the mirror. Alex gasps, saying how perfect it is and Jody fixes the back of the train and finishes lacing up the back! “Is it just me, or did they place get really quiet?” I ask looking back a Jody.

But before Jody can respond, the answer comes from the closed front door. “It’s not you!” the leader of the vampire nest stands there flanked by many of her nest.  

Other vampires come from the back rooms, teeth bared. Instantly Jo attacks cracking a chair over one’s head. And Jody round house kicks the the nearest one to her! I break the nose of nearby vamp, doing my best not to damage my wedding dress. Alex dives into a changing room and called the boys. Us ladies do our best hold out the boys, but none of us had a blade big enough to behead a vamp or dead man’s blood!

I pray to my love from a chocking gasp from the huge vamp! And in a flash he appears, killing the vamp holding me, and helping us ladies. His eyes closed knowing I was around, i kiss him and rub to get changed really fast! The boys soon arrive, and help us kill the rest of the nest. No need to pay for the dresses we head back to the bunker, thankful the full team works so well together.

………………..

Gabe

Heaven. What can you say about heaven? It’s paradise, it’s home, it’s perfection, in a word, Heaven, but when it’s all you’ve ever known, for we angels, archangels and even dad, it became stagnant.

The arguing, the factions, the orders, the holy wars. I mean same thing day after day after day, it can get old. Believe it or not like any child, I wanted to leave home, branch out, be my own being.

When dad created humans the uproar was, magnificent! The hatred the love the, you guessed it, war, based on these small little creatures was immense!  Like any good son I stayed out of it. I love my family but it made Jerry springer look like the Brady bunch.

I have to admit that I was curious what all the fuss was about. I’d seen it all, or so I thought. The creation of light, the earth, mountains rising from the sea. The garden, the animals, it was majestic, I really thought at the time that dad had it all figured out .

Side note about the garden. TOTAL SNOOZE FEST. Really no different then heaven, and for humans it was, but between you and I, the best thing that could have ever happened for humans was Eve eating the apple. Up until then it was like dad created wooless sheep on two legs. When kicked from the garden, that’s when the fun began, but that’s a story for another time.

For centuries I walked the earth, and fell in love with the human race. Well the majority of it. Those who thought themselves better than others or hurt others, I was forced to step in. Protecting the weak and the down trodden is what I do, we’ll that and I happen to be dads messages boy. You know Moses, Mary, etc. Again stories for another time.

As I traveled the earth I watched as these humans created from nothing , created homes, tribes, clothing, farming, fishing, language, and trade, among so many mind blowing other things.

Watching trade develops was extraordinary. In heaven we had everything we could ever need. Everything was a thought, a word, a snap of our fingers away. Here, the humans couldn’t do that. I watched it develop between tribes around 9000 BC. Excess for excess need for need humans helping each other in ways that seemed improbable. When dad turned his back on his creation the thought was it would over time fade away, die off. I didn’t want fat and I helped where I could but instead of turning tail and fading away the humans, some even unaware of each others existence (the world was much bigger then than it is today, continents divided the humans by this time )  banded together and THRIVED. Growing, learning, adapting a sight like you couldn’t even imagine!

Along the way trade became more advanced and eventually, a bigger evil than Lucifer himself emerged: MONEY.

Using it these civilizations hit some of their biggest down falls. Instead of helping each other they delegated each other in to classes. Forgetting what was important and what was not. Money ruled them with people willing to kill each other over a few shekels. Tiny amounts, grams, 11 to be exact, of  so-called “precious“ metals.  These trinkets were so important to some that they put it above human life even then.

It was evident in Mesopotamia in 3,000 BC.

I was walking through the city speaking with a group of dads followers when I noticed a building that I’d never seen before. Asking around I heard it was called a store and “sold” goods to those who both needed and could afford them. Anything from pottery and linens to grains, breads and fruits.

The division of classes was never more obvious. Those with the most shekels would where the finest linens and gorge themselves on meats, fruits and wines, while those with little to no shekels wore thread bear clothing boards ring on tattered loin cloths and scrambled for waste from the rich.

As I watched the creation of commerce I was both amazed and disgusted. I remember standing in the store looking at all the incredible goods from far and wide, and seeing a small girl, maybe around six years old trying to sneak in to the store and as the shop keeper tended to others the small girl hurriedly trying to shove tiny handfuls of grain and rice into her pockets. I’ll never forget the overwhelming sadness I felt. The hope and the soulful look in her eyes, or the terror when the shop keeper caught her.

Grabbing her arm he screamed words that shall never be appropriate to be used on children. Telling her he was going to dole out the punishment for thieves. As he did the other patrons horrified but to afraid to step in, ran from the store. I watched disgusted and as I turned back I saw the shop keeper, a tall muscular bearded man with long braided hair and todo many tattoos it would make a biker blush, draw his sword. The child crying, terrified explaining that her family was starving but the shop keeper didn’t care. As he brought his sword downward I stepped in grabbing his arm. I don’t know who was more astonished, the shop keeper or the child. I can tell you it was me when he turned and shoved me to the ground. Shocked that the shop keeper had dared lay his hands on an archangel, I held my cool as the little girl scrambled and ran the shop keeper going after her. I quickly jumped to me feet and grabbed him tossing him against the back wall of his shop, the wares clattering to the floor.

Remember these were hard working people, and violence a part of their everyday lives. Letting the shop keeper go he brought his sword around and I can still remember the feel of the cold steel piercing my chest, and the shock in his eyes when I neither cried out or fell to the ground.

Taking the sword from my chest I tossed it away a wry smile on my face and I could feel the fire burning in my eyes, I could feel them burning and the prayers to my father from the man’s lips. Snapping I closed the flaps on his store and we’ll I won’t get into the gory details, the screams and the glow coming from the tent could be heard and seen for miles around.

Did I want to end him? It’s not my proudest moment to say the least, but I did. Did I do it? No. When we emerged from his store he was a changed man. Instead of attacking the poor he defended them, defended the farmers, helped those in need. Singing the praises of heaven and in helping one another.

Leaving Mesopotamia that night, I checked on the girl and her family leaving them droves of shekels with one simple lessons, to give to others as they received and to help the needy, to never forget where they came from and to always be a helping hand.

From that day forward I knew that from I would forever be a bastion of light for the down trodden. I was more than an archangel, more than a messenger of god, more than a celestial being, I was first and foremost a protector of the innocent.

…………………