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dansconcepts · 6 months ago

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Talentswap AU - Take Me Hot to Go

YES THE TITLE IS A CHAPPELL ROAN SONG I LOVE HER VERY MUCH. Anyways, I have a certain rarepair (I think it is anyway) that I love (it's Nanamiki but I affectionally call it Tsunanami bc they're so soft I love them), so this is gonna be highly self-indulgent under the cut. For this AU, I do have my share of drabbles as well as other character interactions, but I'm dropping this first since it's fresh out the oven (see what I did there?). Also, this is definitely longer than usual, and that's in solidarity for the next thing I'm planning to post. That one's turning out to be a behemoth, and it has to do with certain hcs that I reblogged before ;>.

“WHAAAA-!?” Ibuki gasps. “You guys haven’t talked yet?!”

Chiaki nods while Mikan timidly looks down.

“Well, that’s a HUGEEEEE problem! You girls are Ibuki’s super duper close friends!” Ibuki lifts a hand to Chiaki. “Tsum-tsum, meet Chiaki, a super awesome baker! Just the absolute best.” She wraps an arm around Mikan. “Chi, this adorable girlie is the florist I’ve told you about! She's the reason Ibuki's place smells so nice and looks so good!”

The Ultimate Florist takes her eyes off of the clinging Ibuki and turns to the baker, who meets her gaze.

She quickly averts her eyes.

A-ah! That was so rude of me!

She looks back and glimpses at the soft smile that’s pointed right! at! her!

She offers a hesitant smile back.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

It didn’t take her too long to get all the way to Chiaki’s dorm, the dark entrance beckoning her to lift her hand and raise it. A chill runs down her spine. She doesn’t usually hang out with people like this… but she’d really like to. But can she do this?

C’mon Mikan, I know you’ve got this. You gotta tell me everything later, after all. Hajime’s encouragement rings through her mind. Her eyes close shut as she rapidly pounds her fist against the door. Knock knock!

The florist thumbs at her bandaids, biting her lip. Does she look like a mess? Maybe she doesn’t have the right address? Did she possibly get the wrong address?! AHHHHH! She needs to check her phone again-!

“Hey, Mikan. I’m glad you can make it.”

“Wah!” She jumps. Her phone thumps onto the ground.

“Oh, I’m sorry for scaring you. Here, let me…” The baker crouches on the maroon tiles, reaching out a hand to grab the fallen object before presenting it to her. How embarrassing! She bows her head, gently taking it from her hands. “S-sorry about that. I’m just… weird…”

“No, you seem nervous. Am I right?” Chiaki states bluntly, and Mikan’s face reddens. “There’s nothing strange about being nervous, as far as I know. So come in, maybe it’ll be more comfortable.” She opens the door again, this time sidestepping for the dark-haired girl to enter first. She mumbles her gratitude and enters.

The place is homey, a simple couch and coffee table decorated in soft pastels of pink and teal accents, while the walls are majorly white. There’s not much decoration though besides a cute rabbit plush close to the doorway, its arm suspended in the air like it’s waving to every person that enters. She sees a modest shoe rack and slips off her sneakers. The door closes with a click.

“Um, you sure you’re okay with being here? I know it’s a little sudden, it seemed like a really nice idea but…”

Does she want to kick me out already? “N-no, I was just looking around!” She has to gnaw her lip from saying ‘I could stop though’. “I was actually wondering if I could see you bake! Since I’m here!”

“Hmm? You want to watch me bake? Really?” Mikan nods her head. “That sounds like it’d be nice…”

“Y-yay!” She whispers with a grin. “Eep! Sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s alright. I think it’ll be fun too.”

“I, um, brought the rose petals and rose water, like you asked. I… didn’t forget anything, did I?”

“No, you did great, thanks Mikan.”

She hands them over out of her satchel, and Chiaki moves, but she freezes. Her pink eyes stare intently at her hands. Was something wrong with her hands? Were they still dirty with dirt? She swears she cleaned them! She washed them multiple times!

“You’re wearing a bunch of bandaids… Are you alright?”

“A-ah! It happens. I get pricked by thorns a lot, haha… but I’m okay! I’m just clumsy!”

“Well, they say food is a great medicine, so maybe working on this recipe will help.” Was… that meant to be a joke? The corners of her lips tug upward. It was a little odd.

She follows the baker into the kitchen. There’s a chair pulled out for her, and she sits with a giggle at the silly grin the girl throws at her. Before her is a marble counter, a rectangle on it looking like what could be one of those fancier stoves. There’s more counters lining the walls, with a modest refrigerator and multiple ovens, one already alight with orange. Besides dishes, there’s baking sheets, cutlery, jars, and cups scattered about. It’s very stacked, as expected of the Ultimate Baker, if not a little messier than she expected…

Chiaki washes her hands, setting the rose ingredients down with what appears to be the rest. Some standard baking ingredients from what she can tell, except for the raspberries and a carton of whipping cream. Is she making a cake? “I wanted to make some cream puffs for everyone.” The baker explains, placing a pan on the stove, turning on the heat. She grabs some device underneath that kinda looks like a blender, but smaller, and starts placing raspberries, a cup of sugar (she’s guessing?), and the rose water. They’re quickly blended and set aside. “They’re pretty simple, I think, and I wanted to add a rose-infused raspberry fool filling.”

“Raspberry fool?”

“Hmm?” Chiaki hums, swiftly placing ingredients into the pot with an ease that she wonders if she admires or is jealous of.

“What’s that?”

The baker stares at the pan. The silence weighs on her. Does she sound stupid? Is this something that’s actually common knowledge? Oh, darn it, maybe she should’ve studied common baking terms! Maybe then Chiaki wouldn’t be so bored of her already.

Chiaki blinks. “Oh, sorry, it’s berries and cream.” The baker directs her attention to Mikan’s face. She isn’t sure what she looks like, but Chiaki’s head tilts at the expression that must’ve been there. “You seem upset. I should’ve warned you, I do that sometimes. Space out, I mean. You’re free to try getting my attention. I promise I won’t be mad. Hajime does it all the time.” She cracks a smile, briskly mixing the whipping cream and powdered sugar in a bowl she grabbed. “He treats me like a pot. If he keeps watching me, I won’t boil.”

Mikan giggles. She doesn’t understand the analogy at all, but it’s kinda cute to see the other girl looking so amused at her own jokes. The baker’s smile grows wider at her reaction. She scoops out the dough from the pan and Mikan watches as she places it into a metal bowl connected to a mixer and turns it on. Afterwards, she starts adding the raspberry mixture with the whipped cream and folds with a spatula. Sensing her opportunity, she blurts, “Y-you’re very composed! It’s… amazing.” Even at her shop, she’s always zipping to different flowers, checking on their growth and health, or checking inventory, or cleaning. She does love it, the sense of urgency born purely out of passion, but she’s never looked so laidback about any of it.

Chiaki goes quiet for a moment, yet still keeps folding. Mikan studies her face, this time seeing the way her pupils dilate. “Chiaki?” She softly calls out.

“Right. I’m really not that composed. I’m just-” Her cheeks puff, “focused. You probably saw from looking around, I can be a bit messy.”

“I, uh, don’t think that changes much actually! If anything, I-I think it’s a fun fact to learn about you! If, um, you don’t mind me saying.”

She watches the other look down. “I-” Is it just Mikan, or was she blushing? The baker shakes her head, clearing her throat. “I appreciate that.” She switches the mixer off and grabs one of the stray trays, grabbing an ice cream scoop and plopping out dough balls perfectly. “Ibuki wasn’t kidding. You’re very sweet… like caramel, I suppose.”

Mikan giggles once more, trying to ignore the way her feet want to kick. It’s one of the kindest things she’s ever been told. She wonders if she should tell Chiaki she reminds her of a sweet pea. No, that would be a bit much, huh? She probably wouldn’t like it. She shouldn’t be so forward, that wouldn’t be very good (“but we all wuv wuv you as you are Tsumi! Trust in Ibuki! I swear you’re a cutie! Yourself is the best self there is!”).

Chiaki places the dough mounds into the oven. Wow, that was admirably fast. The baker grabs the bunny timer sitting atop, which is just very adorable, and she covers her mouth to yawn. She stumbles over to the chair beside her.

“I’ma take a little nap.”

“A-a nap? Right now?”

True to her word, the pink-haired girl is out like a light on the counter. She looks at the sleeping girl, curled up on the counter in front of her. She wants to melt from the softness she finds. Kind, talented, cute… she’s always been so terrified to talk with her. Gah! She’s so thankful for Ibuki.

Well. She eyes the oven. Hopefully she isn’t the reason those burn, but it’s best not to touch it. The last thing she wants to do is ruin Chiaki’s creations…

In the meantime though, she can try being helpful. Those dishes from earlier seem like a good place to start. She heads over to the sink and starts washing.

The timer rings. Mikan, after finishing the dishes, spent a few moments guiltily switching between watching Chiaki rest, berating herself for it, and also watching the oven because she genuinely doesn’t want anything to burn on her watch. In her pursuit, she manages to see the super cute way Chiaki’s eyes blearily open and meet her gaze. “Huh? Were you watching me?”

Mikan immediately scrambles, arms flailing like crazy. “SorrySorrySorry!” The rapid movement causes her chair to teeter, and soon she’s flailing her arms for another reason.

CRASH!

She yelps.

“Oh!” Chiaki crouches to her side. “Are you okay?”

Mikan runs a quick check. “Ah, yes, I’m alright! Sorry!!! I’m sorry if I was being creepy, I should’ve known better…”

The baker shrugs. “I didn’t really mind. It’s not like you were doing anything weird, right?”

“I would never!” She quickly exclaims. And she means it with all her heart. She would never…

Chiaki smiles. “I know, sorry, that was a joke. I appreciate how quickly you said that though. Now c’mon, let’s get you up.” Chiaki pulls her up, and feeling it, she notices how rough they are. There’s callouses. Before she can ask, Chiaki immediately heads over to the oven, and her curiosity is thrown out the window. “I really hope those aren’t burned! I’m s-sorry for distracting you!”

Instead of replying, Chiaki grabs oven mitts and presents the tray to her. She warily glances at it. Thankfully, it’s not the hockey pucks she was scared she’d find, but golden brown puffs of delectable goodness. “It came out looking pretty good, wouldn’t you agree?” Mikan nods, breathing out a sigh of relief. “I don’t know if this may help, but I always set it a little early since I don’t want to burn it either.”

She drops it off on the counter. Silently, she grabs a piping bag and fills it with the raspberry filling. “Well, we sort of have to wait until these cool down. In the meantime, I’ve got these-” She pulls out a tray from the fridge. “Wanna help me decorate them? They’re sugar cookies, for fun.”

“C-can I really? I don’t really know how to.”

“I can show you.”

Chiaki sets the tray down. Mikan can’t help but laugh. These cookies…

Chiaki grins. “I’m the Ultimate Baker, not the Ultimate Artist. That’s why I have Nagito help me decorate for super complex stuff.”

Mikan and Chiaki proceed to have a fun time messing around with decorating sugar cookies, laughing and smiling all the while. Chiaki teaches her the technique with premade icing she had, and Mikan finds herself relaxing as she carefully smoothes out her design.

She’s finishing the pricks of seeds on her cookie when she hears a gasp behind her. “That’s beautiful.” Mikan looks back at her sunflower bouquet. “Oh no, i-it’s nothing special!”

“No way! I may need to fire Nagito!” She scrambles. “I am going to save this and take a photo of it later, is that okay?”

Mikan chuckles. “Um, yes! I’m… really flattered, actually.”

They go back to the puffs. “So there’s kinda a balance in making the dough-filling ratio just right, but it’s pretty easy to tell if you filled it properly. It gets all puffy, like this.” She demonstrates. “Here, wanna try?”

Mikan grabs the bag. She hesitantly places it into the puff. She squeezes the bag, and- POOF! The puff drips, and icing lands on Chiaki’s apron.

“Oh no oh no! I-I’m so sorry!”

Chiaki blinks. She squirms. Is she going to kick me out now?

And then the baker bursts out into a loud guffaw, clutching her stomach. Plum eyes stare, wide-eyed.

Chiaki wipes the tears from her eyes. “Oh, wow, I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. You’re really funny, Mikan. I didn’t expect that at all.”

She blushes. “Oh… thank you!”

They fill the rest, this time with Mikan succeeding in filling one without any problems. It’s not perfect, but she’s proud all the same. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. When was the last time she’s ever felt like this?

They both eat one (Chiaki bumps hers with Mikan’s with a “Cheers!” and Mikan wants to melt even more) and Mikan hums, pleased. “This tastes amazing!”

“I’m glad you like them.”

Her phone buzzes. It’s just a spam email, but it causes her to check the time. 23:32. “A-ah! I have to go, sorry, I have to open my shop in the morning…”

“Ah, really? Man… Guess that means we’ll have to continue another time.” Chiaki grins.

Mikan matches her grin. “I guess it does.”

Chiaki walks her out to the door.

“Really, this was a lot of fun. I hope we can keep doing this, I never thought I’d have so much fun baking…”

“I would love to.” She says honestly.

“I’ll text you?”

Mikan nods, perhaps a little too excitedly, because she feels light-headed.

“Then, good night Mikan. Or maybe morning, actually…”

“Good night, Chiaki.”

The baker closes her door.

She grins, giddily giggling and internally kicking her feet in the air all the way home.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

The brunet perches on the metal railing like a bird. He scouts out his surroundings, wondering if he has the time to scale the wall as he waits. Never mind, he sees familiar wine-coloured hair. He moves to wave at her, and glances at the way she's grinning widely the whole time. Wow, I haven’t seen her smile like that so easily before.

“Hey, how’re you doing?” Hajime asks.

“I’m great! I, um, got to bake with a friend yesterday.” Mikan sing songs.

“Oh, Chiaki, right?”

Mikan nods excitedly.

I’m glad they had fun. Hajime smirks. “Did Chiaki fall asleep during her baking again?”

“Oh yes! She did! And she…!”

Mikan rants the whole time while Hajime listens.

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snezfics-n-shit · 1 year ago

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Sicktember Day 20: Cramping Pain

Fandom: Ace Attorney Characters: Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright, Dick Gumshoe, Pearl Fey, Godot, Larry Butz, channeled!Mia Fey Notes: So this idea quite literally came to me in a dream last night so I am obligated to write it. Maya’s very clearly not doing so great during a long-awaited investigation reunion of sorts. She insists she’s fine, though, because it has been way too long since she’s had the opportunity to not only investigate with Nick but also see some familiar faces. Of course, it’s Sicktember, there’s no such thing as “fine!” Again, set post-SoJ for timeline purposes, no real big spoilers beyond T&T here, just that it’s been a good while since Maya and Nick got the chance for an old fashioned investigation. There are small mentions of background Magshoe, Fradrian, Miego, and past Feychols, but nothing really impactful on the story.

“... And that’s when he showed me his sword collection! One of them looked just like the one the Steel Samurai used in episode–” Maya’s retelling of last weekend’s events was once again cut off by a wince and instinctive press of both her hands on her abdomen.

“Maya, I’m starting to think you might not be feeling up to today’s investigation. You know, you can go back to the office any time and use one of the heating pads there. Athena and Trucy made sure the bathroom cabinet’s fully stocked, too…” Phoenix dug through his suit pockets to find the office key he was more than ready to hand over. Maya already had the original office key, but after an incident with Trucy attempting to pick locks while blindfolded, both the office door’s lock and key needed replacements.

“No, Nick, it’s not cramps like that! I’m on the pill, anyway.” Maya took a deep breath through clenched teeth as pain waved over her once again. “It’s kinda… worse,” she held up her right hand to stop Phoenix from interjecting, “but I can handle it! Trust me, Nick!”

“Alright.” Phoenix had no intention of arguing with Maya, especially when they both were eagerly looking forward to this investigation. “Wait, I thought you weren’t allowed to go on the pill. Kurain politics and all that.”

“I’m breaking the cycle.” Maya shrugged with as much of a grin as she could muster.

“Aw man, you were the one who broke my bicycle, pal?” The familiar voice of Detective Gumshoe joined the conversation, though he clearly lacked enough context. “I mean, it’s not that bad with my new salary, but I wish you would’ve told me!”

“Detective Gumshoe!” Maya ignored the misguided accusation and ran into a hug with the scruffy detective. He wasn’t very scruffy anymore; in fact, it was so clear he had recently shaved that Maya could smell the aftershave on him. The strong chemical smell made her nose run, but she didn’t care. She missed the big guy so much! “It’s been forever! How’ve you been? How’s Maggey? How’s–”

“Woah, woah! Calm down.” Gumshoe chuckled heartily. “Maggey and I have been doing fine. Missile’s been dealing with a bit of arthritis lately, but the vet said he’s in otherwise great shape.”

“Aw, poor old guy.” Maya’s eyes wettened in sympathy. “I hope he’s not in too much pain–!!” Speak of the devil, her own pain was making itself known again.

“Did I hug you too tight, pal?” Gumshoe stepped back to give Maya some space. He waited a few seconds to see if she would be alright, only for her to still be doubled over in pain.

“Maya!!” Phoenix couldn’t help but shout. A memory of his daughter flashed in his mind, prompting him to feel Maya’s forehead out of pure instinct. “Gumshoe! Get an ambulance! I think it might be her appendix!”

“On it, pal!”

. . .

The nurses told him that she’d be fine, so why was Phoenix’s mind still playing a loop of everything that could go wrong? Was it because he should have figured out what was going on sooner? Was it because he remembered Trucy’s medicated ramblings about Houdini’s demise prior to her own appendectomy? The latter certainly didn’t help, especially when he was sure that was a moment his family could look back on with light laughter in the future. Clearly, whatever that future was hadn’t come yet.

“Is Mystic Maya okay?” Pearl’s arrival and worried questioning brought Phoenix back to the present. “I would’ve come sooner, but Mr. Godot got pulled over…”

It made sense for Godot to come with, now that Phoenix really thought about it. His relationship with Mia essentially made Maya family in all but blood. With the Kurain Channeling Technique, Mia’s death was hardly an obstacle for that, at least once Godot was finally free from the grasp of needing to find someone, anyone to blame for what happened.

“Surgery wrapped up about a half hour ago. The last nurse I spoke to said she’s still asleep, but she should be fine.” Stating the situation aloud helped Phoenix to calm his own worries.

“So help me if anything–” Godot started, but quickly calmed himself once Phoenix’s words registered and he saw Pearl’s relieved expression. “I’m, uh, glad she’s doing alright.” He corrected his initial angry tone.

“Is it okay if Mr. Godot and I make a trip to the gift shop?” Pearl asked. “We saw some Pink Princess themed ‘Get Well’ balloons on our way here.”

“Sure,” Phoenix nodded, “I’ll, uh, be here and let you know if we can see her once you get back.”

. . .

Phoenix wasn’t sure if Maya had woken up well before the last time he checked in with the nurse or Pearls and Godot just took a really long time buying nearly every Steel Samurai and Pink Princess themed item they could afford at the hospital gift shop. Either way, the three of them were not at all the first visitors Maya received.

Larry was right there at Maya’s bedside, puzzling Phoenix because he was in such a rush that he hadn’t had an opportunity to inform anyone besides Pearls.

“Nick!” A unison greeting from the two beckoned him closer.

“Larry was reading one of his books to the kids in the hospital playroom.” Maya explained happily, but she still sounded groggy. “He was on his way out when he saw me in the window.”

“Not a lot of people have a topknot quite like Maya’s.” Larry laughed before returning his attention to the recovering patient. “Franzy and Adrian hope you get well soon, by the way, and Edgey’s boarding a flight here as we speak.”

“Please tell me you were at least aware of what was fully going on before you told anyone.” Phoenix pleaded, not wanting a repeat of the time Larry had nearly everyone convinced he had died after falling into Eagle River.

“Well, uh, not really…” Larry answered sheepishly.

“It’s okay! I’m okay with my condition being shrouded in mystery.” Maya smiled. “You need to lighten up, Nick.”

That was easy to say when Maya wasn’t the one internally panicking in the waiting room over what sounded like a matter of life and death.

“That reminds me, Pearls and Godot are here, too.” Phoenix gestured to the open door, not sure what was taking the two so long until the pair walking in did not include Pearl. Well, technically, Pearl was there, but…

“Sis!” Maya recognized Mia right away.

“Mia?” Phoenix pulled his channeled mentor aside. “What about Pearls?”

“She figured Maya would want to see me first.” Mia handed over a Get Well card filled to the brim with Pearl’s handwriting. “She did a great job of filling me in, too. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She wiggled her arm free from Phoenix’s loose grasp and went back over to Maya’s bedside, which Larry happily stepped aside from to give Mia priority.

Godot stood next to Phoenix, giving him a look encouraging him to let the sisters have their moment. Even if Phoenix was a little intimidated by the close proximity, it was clear Godot had no hostile intentions toward him, which still felt almost foreign, if Phoenix was being honest.

“I’m gonna look so badass with this scar!” Maya beamed. It was almost like Mia’s presence alone boosted her energy significantly. “You know, when Penny and I were going out, I think she had a scar like this, too. I’m gonna text her a pic once I can get out of bed without feeling like I’m about to keel over.”

“Sounds like you still need a lot of rest.” Mia observed. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“Noooooo!” Maya protested. “I was gonna watch the Samurai Series DVDs that Nick borrowed, that is, if he felt bad enough for me to finally return them.” Though she still wanted those DVDs back, her teasing was lighthearted.

“I returned them!” Phoenix interrupted to object.

“Not all of them!” Maya turned back to Mia and lowered her voice. “He’s been holding on to the Sniffling Samurai box set for way too long.”

“Oh, has he?” Mia raised a brow. “A curious choice for someone you’ve told me swears up and down that the Samurai Series stopped being good after the Rainbow Samurai.” She shot Phoenix a devilish grin.

“Alright, I’m going straight home to return them and grab the portable DVD player, too.” Phoenix threw his hands up. “Do you want anything else?”

“Maybe some lunch?” Maya suggested innocently, almost too innocently. “The usual, please!” There it was, turning the suggestion into a demand.

Phoenix sighed and left, with Godot and Larry following him just after a wave and some goodbyes in order to give the sisters their time alone.

“So, what else have you been up to, Maya?” Mia continued the conversation once the crowd left. “I’ve heard you caused a stir with some of the older folks back home.”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe!” Maya started. “See, it started a couple years ago when I decided…”

The sisters went on to discuss all kinds of matters, filling each other in on various events. Maya spoke mostly about her efforts in making the village a better place, using her power as master whenever anyone tried preventing her hometown from trying anything new. Mia had some updates on the sights she was able to see while channeled by various trainees around the country; being a sort of celebrity within the Fey clan had its perks like that.

When Phoenix returned with the lunch, returned DVDs, and portable DVD player, he simply quietly set the bags near the bed before heading out to let Mia and Maya keep chatting.

What a lucky woman Maya was, to have a sister who refused to let even death itself prevent her from checking in on her when she was in the hospital.

Not many people could say they had a sister like that, could they?

#snez attorney #my writing #my fics #sicktember #sicktember 2023

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 1 year ago

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AHHAHAAH this is SO FUCKING FUNNY I'M TOTALLY NOT FUCKING CRYING AT HALF PAST 2 IN THE MORNING BECAUSE I REWATCHED THE FINAL FIFTEEN. @bat-plus-moth-equals-both IS WITH ME AND HE TRIED TO SLAM THE LAPTOP CLOSE SO MANY TIMES WHILE I TYPE THIS BUT THEY GAVE UP EVENTUALLY LMAO IDK WHY THEY WOULD TRY TO STOP ME FROM POSTING THIS I'M JUST GIVING EVERYONE AN UPDATE!

ALCOHOLICS YES WE'RE ALL BLOODY ALCOHOLICS I'M GOING TO BECOME AN ALCOHOLIC TO DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT WHERE'S VODKA GIVE ME VODKA

YES SLAY KING WHATEVER YOU WANT NEIL WE SUPPORT YOU AS A COMMUNITY

FUCK YEAH I'M CRYING TOO BABY I'M CRYING TOO

HE DID HUH DIDN'T NOTICE THAT THROUGH ALL THE FUCKING TEARS BUT YOU KNOW THAT'S ALL GOOD IT'S GUCCI BABY I'M NOT GOING THROUGH ANY STAGE OF GRIEF RIGHT NOW

THEY WERE WEREN'T THEY? AND NOW THEY'RE MORE DIVORCED THAN DIVORCED? ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS AND FUN? MY LITTLE PONY!

CROWLEY FUCKIN LOVES THAT CAR BABE! IT'S A GREAT TIME HERE HE LOVES IT SO MUCH HE LIVES IN THE CAR NOT BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING HOMELESS OR ANYTHING NAH NAH NAH THIS IS A COMEDY REMEMBER IT'S GOOOOOOOOD

BOUNDARIES ARE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT AMIRITE OR AMIRITE

AHAHAH OMG I DIDN'T REALISE THIS WAS LITERALLY A JANE AUSTEN DANCE LIKE GO BABY AZIRAPHALE FUCKING MANIPULATE THE ENTIRE NEIGHBOURHOOD HYPNOTISE AND SLIGHTLY POSSESS THEM YOU ELDRITCH BASTARD SLAY YOU'RE SO ANGELIC

CROWLEY BABY THIS DO BE SO ROMANTIC THO I LOVE CROWLEY DO YOU ALL KNOW THAT I LOVE CROWLEY SO FUCKIN MUCH WHAT WAS THIS LINE ABOUT AGAIN

INEFFABLE EVERY DAY IS SCHOOL DAY EXCEPT I LEARNED NOTHING IN SCHOOL BUT ON THE INTERNET YEARS AGO I LEARNED THE TONGUE HAS OLFACTORY RECEPTORS AND CAN SMELL SO YOU KNOW THOSE FICS WITH SNAKE CROWLEY SMELLING WITH TONGUE GUESS WHAT BABY BABOOS WE CAN DO IT TOO!

NO FUCK YOU SHE HIT CROWLEY OKAY

YEAH AND IN THE BOOK HE SLAMS THE DOOR ON CROWLEY WHO WAS JUST ASKING SOFTLY IF THEY WOULD TALK SOON BECAUSE HE WAS SCARED OF BEING TORTURED WITH THE SPANISH INQUISITION METHODS BY HELL BUT NO AZIRAPHALE WAS LIKE JOLLY GOOD BYE AND SLAMMED THE DOOR. AND IT SAYS THAT CROWLEY STOOD THERE, SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE. @neil-gaiman WAS THIS YOU OR TERRY, PLEASE? EITHER WAY I HAVEN'T DARED OPEN THE BOOK AGAIN BECAUSE I'LL CRY.

WAIT NO I MEAN EVERYTHING IS FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PAST TWO POINTS IT'S ALL GOOD HERE GOOD OMENS FANDOM IT'S ALL GOOD CROWLEY YES OBSESS OVER AZIRAPHALE HONESTLY AZI IS A BITCHY BASTARD AND AN ABSOLUTELY STUNNING CHARACTER AND SWEETIE PEAK BABYGIRL ENERGY

EVERYDAY IT'S A GETTIN' CLOSER GOING FASTER THAN A ROLLERCOASTER A LOVE LIKE TH--

BECAUSE CROWLEY IS A POLITE LIL SMOL SHITBAG AND I ADORE HIM

WE'RE ALL DYING LITERALLY BABY THIS IS A ROLLERCOASTER TO HELL AND IT'S PICKING UP PACE EACH MOMENT AND YES AZI IS SO IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY IT'S SICKENINGLY BEAUTIFUL AND WE'RE ALL CHILDREN OF DIVORCE (I'M ADOPTED)

DISCO TONY DISCO TONY DISCO TONY

OH GOD I'M SO SORRY TERRY PRATCHETT WE ALL LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR CREATING THIS STORY WITH NEIL WE'RE ALL DOING SO WELL WE'RE COPING I MEAN NOT COPING THERE'S NOTHING TO COPE WITH WE'RE ALL EMOTIONALLY STABLE INNIT

YES HE IS IMPORTANT AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO REMEMBER HIM. FULL STOP.

I MEAN YES SURE BABE THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART CROWLEY LIKES SPEEDING WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINAL FIFTEEN ALL I SAW WAS CROWLEY DRIVING THIS IS A SHOW ABOUT THE BENTLEY NOW I SAW NOTHING ELSE AND THE CAR DEFINITELY DID NOT PLAY ANYTHING REGARDING NIGHTINGALES

SEE GUYS I KNOW A LOT OF YOU KEEP CHECKING IN ON ME BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M NOT COPING NO NO LISTEN SEE I'M COPING SO WELL OR I WOULD BE IF THERE WAS SOMETHING TO COPE WITH WHICH THERE ISN'T THIS WAS A LOVELY COMEDY A LOVELY LOVELY COMEDY

Pt II good omens but i've still never watched it

so you crazies blew up the other post, and many of you tried to explain the plot to me. many others said there is no plot. many said i was accurate. many said i wasn't. and then i watched a few youtube edits of the angel and the demon.

I'm convinced that I know at least a little bit more now, so like the great guy I am, I decided to share how well you've educated me.

the plot is an angel and demon become alcoholics together while doing the good ol' animal husbandry

neil gaiman doesn't have social media

everyone is crying because the angel wanted to go to heaven and the demon said no

and then the demon did the kissy smoochy to make the angel stay and the angel said no

they were not married for 6000 years but they were more married than married

there is a car. it is silver and crowley likes it.

the car is then yellow. crowley doesn't like it. aziraphale does.

there's some kind of Jane Austen ball and dance

oh but also crowley gives aziraphale a more private dance in their home and he bows while making intensely sexual eye contact with the angel who is turned on and says nice and everyone is gasping about it

no one knows about god, not the fandom, not the characters, not god herself. god is ineffable. hey mum i learned a new word!

they run over an american witch

the angel likes books in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

the demon likes the angel in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

there's a gramophone

crowley says sorry a bunch of times

aziraphale keeps getting flustered and dying coz of crowley, and the fandom dies every time. crowley is also dying. everyone is dying. hopefully not literally, im now scared of this fandom.

there's a psychedelic drug trip at some point that's in the edits where crowley goes whee down a chute. either that or the sleep deprivation is getting to me. fuck you, good omens fandom.

terry pratchett is a guy

whether he is real, or a character, or like neil gaiman he is neither real nor a character, i am unsure, but he is important and people want me to remember him

crowley likes speeding

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lavenderchqn · 5 months ago

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✧・┆pillows and their forts

— after a day escalates in you being fully deflated, kinich proves you that love comes in more than one way

content warnings: minor character having a stereotypical outlook on what love is, a very minor panic attack

You stifled a yawn, exhausted at the day you unfortunately had to experience.

The beginning of a new semester was always rough — dealing with new subjects, professors, or fellow students. Sad to say, what it also came with was… bloody in-person lectures. Combining those with your first practical subjects, you were stuck at university since 8 AM.

Checking at your phone, you’ve discovered you were almost here for 12 hours. The clock has struck a miserable 7:28 PM. Only twelve more minutes and you’d be free to go home. To your beloved blankets. To your beloved pillows.

“Earth to my lovely friend!” Your university bestie said, her voice muffled. You noticed her hands waving in front of your face. How did she manage to still feel energised was quite a mystery.

“What’s up?” You asked, laying your head on your arms.

“Look at the boy I’m trying to get with…” She handed her phone to you, giving you full access to her full dating app conversation. “Quite the catch, dare I say~”

You hummed, acknowledging her words. Unfortunately for her, your brain was not responsive enough to entertain her situation. “Looks nice, I guess…”

“I know, right! Not to mention, he’s such a romantic!!” She tried to further prove her point by all the serenade-like words the guy had sent.

“I’m happy for you… let me nap now, please…” You closed your eyes, trying to conserve the last bits of your energy. Sadly, that was not doable due to a sudden thunderclap startling you back to full attention. Did it seriously start to rain just now?!

On a day… when you had decided to leave your umbrella back at home? Great, just great.

The lecture soon ended, and slouched people left the classroom trying to find any means of getting home.

“My soon-to-be boyfriend said he can pick me up!” Your friend jumped in excitement. “Sometimes I pity you for still staying with Kinich, you know?”

Oh. That was new.

“What do you mean?” You stopped, staring your friend down. What did he have to do with anything?

“You’re too good for him!” Her voice strikes back. “Surely you could do much better with a guy who can prove their love to you!”

Her attitude was less than enjoyable at that moment.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. That was certainly not the time to have an argument with a friend. Your head was pounding — a cumulative effort of fatigue mixed with your sensitivity to weather.

“Whatever.” You scoffed. “You’re not the one in this relationship, so what makes you think your opinion matters?”

With those words, you were off. Into the cold and rain, you went.

By the time you make it, you’re soaked from head to toe. You sigh as you turn the key to the house. Halfway through your walk back, you remembered that tonight was your turn to cook dinner. Only gods can hope, that Kinich isn’t upset with you.

The moment you step through the door, you’re hit with the smell of a freshly cooked dinner. Did he get so fed up he ordered something?

You don’t even have time to think, swift footsteps coming in your direction.

“Holy fuck. I knew it started raining, but this much?” Kinich helps you in getting off your bag before heading to the bathroom.

He’s soon back, with a stack of towels.

“You’re alright, Love. I’ve got you.” He starts to dry your hair, doing his best not to damage your hair. Your head hangs low — you don’t want your partner to look at your face. It’s hard to even think when tears have joined all the water drops you’re covered with.

Kinich must know something, as he doesn’t even question your odd behaviour. He dries as much water as he can. “Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?” He asks.

“Huh?” You finally look at him, confusion in your eyes. “Why would you?”

“Because,” He flicks your shoulder lightly. “You need a shower before you get sick.”

With that, he picks you up and carefully carries you to the bathroom.

“I’m going to get you some warm and cosy clothes for when you’re done.” He sets you down in the middle of the bathroom, in front of the shower. “Once you’re done, we’re going to eat dinner.”

“A-Alright.

You stand there frozen for a moment once Kinich leaves, staring at the shower, still in a daze from everything that had happened throughout the day. The exhaustion weighing heavily on your shoulders finally catches up, and you let out a long sigh before undressing and stepping into the warm water.

As the heat cascades over your skin, the tension in your body begins to ease. You let the water wash away not only the grime from the rain but also the stress of the day. You can’t help but think back to your friend's words — her judgment about your relationship with Kinich. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but as the warm water envelops you, you realise how unfair it was to let those words affect you. Kinich was always there for you, always patient, always understanding. Her words didn’t matter.

After a while, you finally get out of the shower, feeling lighter, though still emotionally drained. You dry yourself off and slip into the cosy clothes Kinich had laid out for you. As you open the bathroom door, the smell of dinner wafts through the air again. Your stomach growls, reminding you that you haven’t eaten much today.

Walking into the kitchen, you see Kinich setting the table. He looks up and smiles slightly when his eyes meet yours. "Feel better?”

You nod, offering a small smile in return. "Yeah, thanks… And sorry for not making dinner tonight.”

“Do I need to flick your forehead harder?” He asks, head tilted looking at your face confused. “I don’t need an apology.”

“B-but…”

“Shush.” He hands you the cutlery, before taking a seat himself. “Enjoy the meal, we’re having a cosy night once you’re done.”

“Cosy night?—“ You turn around to look at the living room.

There’s a pillow fort there. Fully fortified, oozing with pure comfiness.

You stare at the pillow fort, blinking in disbelief. Kinich, always full of surprises, had somehow managed to set up the cosiest little corner of the living room while you were in the shower. Soft blankets draped over chairs and an assortment of pillows arranged perfectly.

“You did all this while I was showering?” you ask, your voice soft with awe.

Kinich chuckles as he takes a bite of his food. “Sure did. Figured you could use a bit of comfort after the day you’ve had. Plus, we haven’t had a good pillow fort night in ages.”

Soon after, the meal comes to an end. You both clear the table and Kinich gestures toward the fort. “Fort time?” he asks with a grin.

You nod eagerly, following him into the living room. The fort is even cosier up close, with a pile of your favourite snacks and a movie queued up on the laptop nestled inside. Kinich climbs into the fort first, patting the spot beside him, and you quickly follow, snuggling into the soft pillows as he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

For a while, you both just sit there, the warmth of the fort and his presence surrounding you like a shield against the outside world. The rain continues to tap against the windows, however inside, everything feels safe and perfect.

“Thank you, Kinich,” you whisper, resting your head against his chest. “For everything.”

He starts stroking your back. “Of course. It’s the least I could do, to make your day less shitty.”

And in that moment, you realise that he truly did that. Despite the rough day, despite your friend’s hurtful words, sitting here in this homemade fort with Kinich by your side, you feel truly content…

Knowing that love can be more than words.

date of posting — september 16th 2024

#lavv.writes #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fanfics #genshin oneshots #genshin fanfic #kinich x reader #kinich x you

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billerak · 5 months ago

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RWTC 2

Time for the sequel! My volume 1 post did great, a grandiose 3 notes. I can already smell the internet fame. Clearly, the fans want what I have to offer (That being: incredibly random thoughts and my always correct opinions), and I am here to give it to them.

Anyways when we last left off: We'd just stopped a grand robbery of dust in the docks! Well, Penny did most of the work, but it's the thought that counts. The ending was kind of abrupt! What wonders will V2 have to offer? How much of a mess will it make of things? I wonder!

Ep 1: We start the volume and the first thing Mercury does is… flirt? The way the line is read is so fucking awkward tho, lmao. I know the tukson scene was meant to be tense and menacing but, and I know I said I wouldn't do this much, but it's important here: The voice acting doesn't really sell the scene. It's not laughably awful or anything, it's just not very strong. Wow, Blake and Yang actually get an interaction where Blake actively replies to her! How wonderful. Thank you Ruby, that IS the current circumstances in which you find yourselves! The audience appreciates you for the explanation. Wow Neptune look at you I'm sure you'll be a super important character moving forward, relevant, always in the depths of the plot. No comments about the food fight. 10/10. Still my favourite secene from RWBY. Now Glynda I understand your frustration but everyone else ran away, these eight stuck to the food fight and wrecked each other's shit, I'd be impressed if I was the teacher of a combat school. I love Roman. He's a little shit. I'd bash his head in if I could, but that's why I love him. He's underutilized but his VA is clearly having a lot of fun and it seeps into the character. Do you think cinder uses her powers to make her eyes glow for effect at all times or only when she's tryning to be menacing?

On the Bees: Wow look an interaction! Clearly this has convinced me the writers had planned for it all along.

Ep 2: I do like Ironwood's always had that subtle tension to him. He's a man with good intentions but too much goddamn power for his own good. Leaving aside te absolute stupidity of a 'semblance' they gave him which was of course never mentioned in the show because it makes no goddamn sense. This is a general complaint I have, not only with RWBY but with pretty much all shows I've ever watched: JUST USE REAL BOARD GAMES. PLEASE. CALL THEM SOMETHING ELSE BUT MAKE THEM THINGS THAT ALREADY FUCKING EXIST. The only person I've ever seen who makes 'fake board/card games' funny is ProZD and dude literally makes a living out of playing and reviewing those. Anyways that's a me thing, otherwise it's a fine scene. Better than fine, really, because WHITE ROSE BABEEE THAT'S 2 EPISODES IN A ROW WHERE THEY'VE HELD EACH OTHER LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO "But Neptun-" Nepwho? Ah, blue haired guy. Right. He exists. Aight I'll just say my piece here because I don't wanna be saying the same through the whole volume: The whole Weiss/Neptune thing is just horribly heterosexual people writting terrible heterosexuality. Neptune's entire personality is being heterosexual. Literally. If a gay character acted the same as him, he'd be criticized for having 'gay' be his personality, or he'd be considered a token gay, or smth. Seen it a million times. Comes out of nowhere, any time Weiss does or say anything involving Neptune I wanna unalive myself, the two have the chemistry of water, and I consider this fanbase got off lucky that Neptune ended up being only a plot device to get Jaune to move along his own arc. So yeah any time anything happens with Neptune, unless I state otherwise, assume I'm vomiting loudly. … Honestly Blake and Weiss are kinda shippable here. 'Nooo blake why won't you talk to me- I mean us you promised' gay ass. Anyways while I understand Ruby and Yang going with the stupid plan and Blake has personal reasons for it… It does feel a bit OOC for Weiss to agree because, well, she's fucking right. These four are just students and they only managed to deal with Roman and the White Fang last time because Penny came in clutch. They're fucked if they do this alone. How… old is cinder? I'd say she couldn't pass herself for a student due to credentials but we know salem has Lionhart by the balls so… ???

On the Bees: Weiss and Blake had a nice moment.

Ep 3: You know, I never understood what Jaune saw in Weiss. Like, ok, she's probably cute at first sight. But she's fucking insufferable otherwise. Her team can deal with her but I'd fucking despise her v1-3 self if I went to the same school as her. I prefer the other outfits tbh. Where… Where was Sun hanging from? He was like, some ways away from the window, but there was nothing there to hang to. I guess his semblance could help but would he really- Yeah he would. Ruby here know's what's up and she wants none of it. NONE. It may look like Ruby is making fun of Weiss, but she doesn't understand that's just flirting. But her heart pulls her two ways, OH NO. By the end of this story, she must choose- Well, no, not really, since one of the options is literally twice dead. (yes I ship Nuts n' Dolts too, sue me) Weird that Weiss didn't ask to see Winter when the woman said she was around, given that later it seems like she'd give an arm and a leg to speak to her. Ok, the reveal that Penny is a robot rings a bit… hollow, since, uh, we already knew that. Her back literally opens into blades, the weird thing really is Ruby not knowing.

On the Bees: Nuts.

Ep 4: OOOOH that's why it's called Nuts n Dolts, innit. Normally I'd say the Ruby/Penny friendship feels forced, but this is probably the only two people in this show where something like this works. Penny has no real frame of reference for friendship and Ruby is just like that. Once again Blake and Sun out here exploring Blake's past together, nothing narratively important going on! Roman is so charismatic. Honestly I'd like to pound his- Oh hi Neo didn't see you there. Ok, see what I mean with "Adam could've made the jump"? Look at Blake and Sun here. Jumping gaps way larger here. I guess he was too stunned for too long or smth idk. Cool fight scene. Gonna be honest, I fucking hate that the fandom took these combo attacks for ship names. Like the concept is cool and all but at least back in the day following ship discourse could be so fucking annoying. Anyways here we have our first canonical explanation of how Yang's semblance works. "With each hit she gets stronger, and she uses that energy to fight back". Which implies she needs to take the damage to get a boost, something something equivalent exchange, but it wasn't something that was happening first volume. Unless we count 'getting a hair cut' to be taking a hit. That being said, I still wonder what's stopping her from, idk, hitting herself or asking someone else to hit her before a battle (assuming she can predict a battle is coming, ofc) to at least have some energy stored up in a safe environment instead of having to risk tanking hits from her enemies. Never quite understood how Neo's semblance works. It's illusions but they leave behind a physical glass form. But how exactly does it make her vanish? In most cases it doesn't feel like she's creating a flat screen surface but just a second body and… teleporting away. Feels like Blake's semblance but more overpowered, but also she can make anything out of it as shown later… Ah, whatever, I don't think the writers think about it too hard, making sense of it is impossible.

On the Bees: Well, they had their ship name called out.

Ep 5: While I love Pyrrha winning against team Cardinal, I have to wonder… why was she even fighting all four? Were the teachers like "Cardin your team is so shit all four of you against Pyrrha seems fair, go fight" or what. See what I mean? Mercury clearly thinks of his discovery of Pyrrha's semblance as something interesting, but Ozpin himself says they make extensive tests to the people entering Beacon. Even if semblances aren't a matter of 'public' record, Cinder later gets into the systems, so couldn't she just have just… checked then? I understand the 'blake needs to relax' bit but also, trying to force her into the dance? Sun clearly has a crush on her so him asking makes sense but the rest of team RWBY probably should've been more like "you need to fucking sleep" rather than trying to get her into a dance. I really like Pyrrha and I am really sad the crux of her character is "crush on Jaune." She has a lot of interesting shit to explore WHY IS THIS HER FOCUS. Like it's RIGHT THERE. A girl prodigy with an amazing semblance that everyone places on a pedestal. But instead of being about her it's about fucking Jaune.

On the Bees: Well Weiss continues to be the one pressing Blake to be more open. Is their ship name Checkmate? No, doesn't sound right. Uh… Black and White? No. Grey… Monochrome? That one sounds familiar. May be it (Yes, I wrote this as I thought about it. No. I'm not cutting it down). Anyways whatever the ship name is, so far I kinda dig it more than bumblebee. It's amazing really.

Ep 6: Here it is bois the big chapter for bumblebee oh boi let's gooooo Aight Yang attracting Blake with a laser is pretty hilarious. The Jaune/Ren moment did make me chuckle too. Comedy seems to be on point (for my tastes) this episode. Nora/Ren not being 'together together' is a point they make many times and I only ask… why? Nora isn't subtle about her crush on Ren. I guess Ren is quiet and timid but it's clear- Hey wait why is their ship name 'renora'. Don't they get a combo name? I know I complain about them but like. Feels unfair anyways. Other ships involving them get the stupid combo names. Why not them? What was I saying? Oh right it's clear they have a thing going on and like, they've known each other all their lives. This isn't made a point of until like, 7 volumes in. Eh, idk. Honestly, very impressive Pyrrha can just walk and talk normally with that knife—well, more of a fucking sword—on her back. Bla bla Bees conversation comments at the end let's move on. Oh hey that's Qrow's emblem isn't it? Who designs the emblems anyways. The owners of them? Some are unique, some are inherited. They're kinda like Cutie Marks tbh. Jaune offering a White Rose to Weiss, clearly a reference to THE BEST SHIP. MAYBE 2ND BEST SHIP IDK I'M TORN HERE. ENDGAME CONFIRMED BOIS. Blake's first dance is asked for but she still goes to the dance explicitly with Sun. Of course that is meaningless, nothing here ever built them up to have a thing and it is clear Blake never had absolutely any interest in him whatsoever. Anyways look at those background characters. All heterosexual, not a single w/w m/m pairing dancing, other than the 5 seconds of Blake and Yang. The pinnacle of queer representation right here, folks! Ozpin is a little lying shit but I guess experience does let him give good advice.

On the Bees: Ok. I want you to understand something. This? This is the F I R S T time Blake and Yang have a long, one to one conversation. In the show. Volume and a half in. They're not only teammates, they're partners. Ruby and Yang had a couple of conversations. Weiss and Ruby have had many. Even Ruby and Blake, famously interacting very little, had that conversation about books and fairy tales when first meeting. I don't care about the fact that they've spent months together at this time. That's not the point. The point is this conversation? It's the first actually shippable moment between them. Anything prior is /nothing/. You couldn't fucking write a developing relationship out of them with the interactions they've had before this point. From here on out at least there's a base to work with. That established, it's not the best base. Blake isn't her 'usual self' here. She's exhausted and in a terrible mood. The scene is mostly taken over by Yang's backstory. The conversation is Yang trying to make a point. It's a good conversation, and it finally establishes an interaction between them that doesn't feel loose. It's just a conversation I think would've been far more effective if we'd first seen them have more interactions under normal circumstances. Yang does wink at Blake and 'saves her first dance'. I believe this is the only time in this show where she's flirtatious towards a girl. Wonder why they didn't go togehter to the dance, instead of, well, I already said it above.

Ep 7: What was Jaune gonna do here? Beat up Neptune? Don't get me wrong I find him vomitive, as stated before, but the guy doesn't really deserve a beating for not agreeing to a dance, you know? Or was he heading towards Weiss? Kind of unclear, but he did look kinda angry so I assume he was going after Neptune. Like I get Pyrrha being drawn to Jaune for his ignorance of her and I do think that now it makes some sense she may be into him but I still don't buy how into Jaune she originally was. I do like this conversation between Pyrrha and Jaune, though. And, despite everything, this may be the only moment with Neptune that's genuinely funny. The 'I can't dance' part I mean. Usual applies to everything else. Nora and Ren are dancing, and Blake and Sun are… /still/ dancing? I can only assume they took a break, or they just really like dancing. Still not a single background gay! Dress moment is another Top 10 scenes of the show tbh. Throwaway gag turned funny/wholesome moment. Normally I'd call out the synchronized dance but these are hunters I can assume they have the reflexes to pull it off… assuming Jaune leads, anyways. Ah, yes, the legendary terrible running across rooftops scene. Here it is. It's legendary and terrible and funny. For real though I think I've seen worse animation moments before. I think it's just that this one likes like 5 whole ass seconds and gets full focus. Really? Karate chop? I know it's probably for the memes but girl, you can summon crystal blades at a distance. I reckon using those would be more effective. So… who picks the lockers and brings them back to the school after they hit, anyways? Is tehre a fine related to misuse of the feature? It can't be cheap, between reparations to the ground of wherever the locker hits, the damage to the locker itself, and the fuel used to launch it. RWBY giving pursuit and not immediately throwing away the shoes is the most unbelievable thing that has happened yet in this show. I… what? I don't understand teh architecture here. Did Cinder run all the way back to beacon? is the tower connected to beacon? That cut was real strange. Still no background gays! No but guys RT was really forward thinking they were totally queer-minded and had planned bumblebee from the beginning, clearly caring about rep and all that! They just coudln't be bothered to spend a single minute making two men or two women dance.

On the Bees: WAIT IT'S CALLED BUMBLEBY? NOT BUMBLEBEE? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME, I MUST HAVE LOOKED STUPID! I'm gonna keep calling it bumblebee, idgaf. anyways I think this may be the only time we see Jaune's knees? I'll keep you posted.

Ep 8: APOLLO JUSTICE TRILOGY WAS CRACKED! I WAITED FOR SO LONG!!!! What has that to do with RWBY? Uh, nothing. What was I doing? Oh right rewatching. Anyways- Never fully understood why Ruby wouldn't go to Ozpin about the info before. Sure they were breaking rules but sis this is a lot bigger than you four. The dog. Right. Forgot he existed. I will forget it again. How… how does war work in Remnant, anyways? If you take to a battlefield, Grimm would eventually overrun both forces. It'd be a three-way fight constantly. You'd think kingdoms in general wouldn't ever bother with war. Right? Ozpin giving the job to RWBY instead of a more experienced team could be considered as the reason it all fell apart really.

On the bees: I actually just finished ep 10 and thought this chapter's notes looked weird and that's cuz this episode had literally nothing despite ample chance and I forgot to add this section.

Ep 9: I like Ooblek or however that's written. He's never relevant again aftert his arc but this is how you make secondary characters memorable. "By giving them a gimmick?" Yes! That's actually exactly how you do it! Ace Attorney is an expert at this! Still don't like the dog. Also no huntsman we've ever seen has a dog, right? Weird. See, this seems to imply the Goliaths here are like, the same as Beowulfs or whatever that just lived that long. but… This is later retconned. As far as we know, Salem just creates whatever the hell she needs, and Grimm don't change forms over time. It does appear like they gain more armor over time… sometimes anyways. Like, they probably do grow within a single 'species', but these goliaths aren't any different than the newborns we see later. I also do like Ooblek's motivation. That is a valid reason to be a teacher in this shitty nonsensical world.

On the bees: They, uh. Talk. For like one minute. Weiss is also there.

Ep 10: I appreciate this conversation but here's the thing: Blake speaking of her semblance this way implies they're aware semblances are, well, tied to their characters. This isn't necessarily a problem, if maybe a bit on the nose, but then… wouldn't it also imply everyone should consider what their semblance means? What does Sun's semblance say about himself? That he's always willing to lend a hand? What about, idk, Pyrrha? How does metalbending (And yes, it's metalbending, not polarity, she makes shit levitate not just attract or repel from herself) tie to her personality? Is it just a reflection of her prodigious skill? You'd think it was the other way around. Yang's is obvious (She prefers rolling with the blows), Weiss's too (it's a hereditary semblance), and Ruby's… well, depending on whether we consider the V7/8 development a retcon or not it could change meaning, but let's say it's meant to represent how she's always rushing ahead. So, this being said, woudln't character development change one's semblance? It would be interesting, in fact. Maybe Ruby's semblance wasn't always what it later is, but her experiences changed it. Maybe the inconsistency in Yang's semblance is a reflection of this. I know I'm thinking too hard and nobody ever thought about it, but it's sort of a Jojo's stands situation. In Jojo, your stand is a manifestation of your soul and can develop alongside you. Ruby, girl, NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY. Ruby, girl, you have SUPER SPEED. HOW HAVE YOU NOT TRAINED YOURSELF TO ACTIVATE IT WHEN SHIT LIKE THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. Ruby, girl: you. have. SUPER. SPEED. RUN AWAY. I know he says he's stupid but he really kind of is. Wouldn't 'underground city' be the first place you look at when looking for crime organizations?

On the Bees: Uh… yang calls out to Blake first? Sure, let's go with that.

Ep 11: RUBY GIRL YOU HAVE S U P E R S P E E D RUN AWAY FUCKING HELL YOU'RE NOT EVEN TIED YOU JUST WOKE UP SO YOU CAN'T BE SPENT Jesus, FUCKING FINALLY WHY EVEN TRY TO FIGHT IF YOU'RE THIS USELESS. Which makes no sense, tbw. Crescent Rose, even if it was built with ultralight metals, would still require strenght to use just based on the recoil those shots have and the balance of the whole thing. Ruby should pack a punch. Anyways giving your MC super speed in any capacity is a problem because of shit like this. Superspeed is the most powerful of the 'basic' superpowers (That is: Strenght, Flight, Speed and Endurance. Most stories with superpowers include these 4 in some capacity and speed tends to be the most limited one). I like the bombs moment. It's pretty funny. See what I mean? Ruby shooting herself like that means her arms must take the recoil! Even if we take Aura into account this girl should be at least decently strong. I… could do without the dog moment. Like… it's just more offputting than anything else. Ooblek does take another paladin by himself, which is nice to see, in the 'oh yeah he's a step above the MCs' way. Why does Weiss suddenly give Blake the dust bullets? Why not before? Why not… idk, talk to her about it? Why even make them? Did Weiss ask for them? If so, again, why not give them to her before? I mean I know the answer is probably 'Monty fight scene had this thing and writers had to scramble to fill in the gap' but still. Why does Yang have that moment with Neo? They've only had that one 'interaction' which wasn't particularly personal before. See? The WF leader(?) here makes some sense. We know the Schnees have beef with the Faunus and the White Fang (That being, they're slaver pieces of shit and all that). And, uh, Blake against Roman is… I get what they're going for, but… Idk, I feel Ruby and Roman would've felt more natural. Given they do have that in V3 so I'll let it pass. Man, I love Roman so much. Have I said that before? The biggest crime in early RWBY is not giving him enough screentime, really. I love the theory that he doesn't even have Aura unlocked, since he's clearly not the best fighter out there, man's just very skilled at doing his job. Which doesn't often involve fighting wannabe hunter teenagers. It's why he's basically knocked out after so few blows. Weiss should do the 'haste' glyph thing a lot more often really. Action economy, girl! Everyone knows it's the key to win! I wish Neo had more of a… thing. Like, in general. Her fight against Yang is great, but how the hell did she get that skilled? Why's she working for Roman? Why does she care for Roman so much that she later becomes obsessed with killing Ruby so hard that when she thinks she's done she loses all purpose in life? Not really sure how to feel abotu Raven here. At least we got the Yang backstory to even explain there's something going on there but it feels so… random. And why is Neo so scared? What does she know? Why would she know it? SHE HAS NO BACKSTORY And THIS is why you want your general population with their fucking Aura unlocked!

On the Bees: Man the second Dual Destinies turnabout is kind of a chore so far. Like, I figured pretty much everything by the middle of the first day and I still got another day of investigation and trial to go through? I think the case could be improved considerably by just not showing the face of the killer. I know it's ace attorney tradition to show you the first couple of killers, but still. I like Simon well enough I guess. What happened to Gavin? I don't remember him being fired at the end of AJ.

Ep 12: Jaune taking command, nice. Was that foreshadowing for Ren's backstory? Honestly, not a huge fan of this fight. It's supposed to be super big in scale but I guess the budget didn't allow it? It also feels like it kinda lacks momentum. Also didn't we just spend like 3 episodes exploring Ruby doesn't have physical strength? Why's she kicking the Grimm like that? Don't get me wrong, this makes more sense, I'm just confused. I know it's a common complaint that team Coffee shows up here to steal the show for a bit, since they barely get any screentime ever. It's a fine complaint, understandable. I… actually kinda like it. Also ONE OF THE GUYS IS HOLDING OATHBRINGER. WHAT'S HIS NAME. GREEN GUY. Based. I feel like we should have seen a few adult hunters showing up, though. Non-teachers I mean. Huh. Ironwood did always have his sinister authoritarian vibes. I like that. I still love roman. And that ending dream thing huh. I'm sure the eventual meeting of these two will be totally worth it.

On the bees: Did you know I have written more Ami/Minori (from toradora) than the rest of the internet combined? Irrelevant to RWBY I just wanted to let you know.

For an extra this volume: I watched some of the shorts! I think these were the ones around by V2? Or maybe up to V3? Idk.

WoR "Dust": I assume V6 retroactively kind of explains Dust as the literal dust old humanity was turned into? Which is why it can interact with Aura? Very fucked up, but I like it. I'm on the fence on whether I think they had the creation myth figured by this point or not, but I do think they probably had the rough draft for it. Anyways this short doesn't really add much? It explains the 4 basic types and that you can mix them to make new ones, but everything else we probably could've figured ourselves.

WoR "Kingdoms": Ok so, Vacuo and Vale share a continent, while the other two are in split continets. Just taking note for later, not sure how relevant it becomes. In a worldbuilding sense, I don't think it's very reasonable to actually believe small towns could ever be built outside of big cities protected by natural barriers. Most people are clearly useless in a fight against Grimm, and honestly, just leaving the city shoudl be more than enough nervousness and doubt to attract hordes of them.

WoR "Grimm": Not much to say here, other than just generally wondering why Salem wouldn't just wipe out humanity herself sans a small amount of people who she could pin as Oz and the maidens. And don't say she couldn't have: If she can create that giant whale thing she could've done so a couple thousand years ago when technology wasn't so advanced. If you told me she was purposefully playing this game with Ozma, trying to keep it somewhat fair, I'd understand, but she clearly isn't. Oh well.

Anyways, I think I enjoyed this volume more than the last! Which is weird, I think people consider this to be the weakest of the first three. Idk, despite everything, I found the overall pacing to be slightly better, and we get some deeper info on our characters which is always appreciated. Not much else to say in general, but hey. Also yes, it's still a mess.

Also I'm fairly certain Pyrrha still not passing the bechdel test.

Also, if by any chance you're reading this, Crimson: 1) Why. Why do that to yourself. 2) Last volume you kept flipping your shit at me shipping whiterose and such (and other stuff but idrc about that). You seem to be unaware of the concept of chemistry. Ruby and Weiss are shippable because they have chemistry. Ruby and Penny are shippable because they have chemistry. Actually, all the characters I mentioned as potentially shippable displayed fair amounts of chemistry. And that's always my main concern with bumblebee. Sorry, but "vibing" while not interacting is very much NOT chemistry. It's kind of the opposite. Right now, with the information these two volumes have offered, I could write a lot of dynamics with a certain amount of ease. Bumblebee… not so much, because their interactions are still blank fucking slates. And I'm sorry to say this, but no, emptiness isn't 'complexity' or 'depth'. The only complex thing here is the fucking mental gymnastics you're doing to justify not only every bumblebee moment but also the show's writing as if it was flawless and perfect lmao.

#RWBY #RWTC #not tagging bees didn't spare me last time but maybe it will this time #anyways yes I will be doing this for each volume as long as my interest stays #we'll see how it goes

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logarhythm-bees · 6 months ago

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The Carousel Kingdom 🏰 CH9 Show and Spell

Masterlist

Prev - Next

The next morning, Virgil is the last of the group to wake. He opens his eyes to Patton’s blanket folded neatly on the couch, but Patton himself is missing.

Behind Virgil is the clink of pots, and he rolls over to see Thomas in the kitchen, stirring up a bowl of oatmeal, while Logan uses xer magic to make- something with bread. Patton and Roman are missing from the scene, but the door to their living area is open, so Virgil has a pretty good idea of where they went. Distant laughing, in Patton’s joyous tone, confirms his suspicion.

“Oh! You’re awake!” Thomas says, noticing Virgil gazing at the door. “We were just making breakfast. Roman wanted you to make pan-cakes, but we told them not to wake you up. They’re off with Patton.” Thomas nods his head towards the door. “Roman had a book they said Patton might like.”

“Oh, cool.” Virgil says. “What…time is it now?”

“It is nine-fifty-two,” Logan says, xer horn glowing as xey levitate another slice of bread, and Virgil watches as xe mutters something about heat. A blue glow surrounds it, and the bread darkens in color, the smell of toast filling the air.

“Wow,” Virgil asks, impressed. “Magic toast?”

Logan chuckles. “It’s not particularly common to do it this way, but fire magic is our main way of cooking. Ovens allow it to be used in a controlled way, and are thus the most popular option. But experienced sorcerers are wont to use it all of their own accord.”

“Ah, always bragging,” Thomas laughs, turning the stovetop on. “Priding over me as I use a stove like a normie.”

Virgil snorts at that as Logan splutters, sparks flickering around xer horn. Thomas laughs, unperturbed, and Virgil pushes himself off the ground to move over to the kitchenette.

“I can make pancakes if you guys want,” he says, pouring a glass of water and sipping at it. “Do you think you might be busy for a while?”

“Please do, Roman wouldn’t stop raving about them. And if you could give me the recipe, that’d be great,” Thomas says. “I’m making scrambled eggs for all of us, but I’ll try to be quick.”

“No problem, take your time,” Virgil says, too sleep-bleary to worry about talking to a king so casually and unguarded, “do you think you could overcook mine?”

“Ah, an overcooked egg truther. I knew I liked you.” Thomas says with a wink, as Logan rolls xer eyes. “They are called over-cooked for a reason!” Thomas rolls his eyes too, politely.

“Yeah, yeah. No problem, Virgil. If you want to go corral Roman and Patton, the eggs will probably be done when you’re back.”

Virgil gives him a little salute and slips into the library, Thomas focusing back on the pan.

“-this is one of my favorite stories.” Roman’s voice drifts down from the second story, and Virgil follows it up the stairs. “I used to read it all the time before I went off to meetings, and then imagine the characters there with me, helping me be a good prince.”

“Aww.” Patton says. “That’s so sweet!”

Virgil spots them as Roman blushes. “I suppose.”

“Hey, guys.” Virgil interrupts them. “Breakfast time. I’m making pancakes.”

“Pancakes!” Roman exclaims, delighted. “Thank you, Virgil!” They give him a hug and then dash down the stairs, leaving Virgil standing there warm. Patton giggles.

“Are you sure you didn’t just bring me along for pancakes?” Virgil calls after Roman, laughing. Roman scoffs. “I would never! Your cooking is only a bonus, fair Virgil.”

Patton pats him on the back as his cheeks flush again, embarrassed that Roman seems so complimentary of him.

“I’m making pancakes,” Virgil mutters, trying to change the topic, and Patton lets him with a smug smile. “Wonder if magic baking soda is gonna make it taste any different.”

“I don’t think it’s magic baking soda,” Patton comments as they walk down the stairs, “but your cooking is magic on its own!”

“Aw, Pat.” Virgil says. “I think you just have a sweet tooth.”

“Okay, I do.” Patton admits. “But your pancakes won over the prince of another world. That counts for something, right.”

Virgil fiddles with a hoodie string as they push open the door to the storage room. “I guess it does.”

Inside, Thomas has set out a fold-out table, and Roman is sitting at it, happily munching on some eggs. They seem content, swinging their legs and tail around, and Virgil feels his face warm softly.

“Virgil! We’re ready for pancakes!” Thomas says, offering Virgil the stove. “Let us know if you need help.”

“I think I got it,” Virgil says, “but, uh, where do you keep the flour?”

The room bustles as Virgil cooks- Roman talks with Patton about his book and Patton’s fabulous stories from the human world, and Thomas and Logan offer funny stories from Roman’s learning curve to become an acting prince. Mostly sneaking paints and pens into summits, making an art project of their royal summons.

“In my defense, they never said I couldn’t paint in the middle of meetings,” Roman says, hiding their face. “Though I understand now that perhaps it was implied.”

“It was funny,” Thomas says, “and certainly not the first time I saw you sneaking your art supplies around.”

Virgil feels something squirm inside him at the mention of being sneaky, memories of what is expected of him and their mission coming to the surface. He covers it up by serving the group pancakes, to various calls of delight.

“This is delicious!” Thomas says after his first bite. Patton agrees with a nod. Roman nods enthusiastically, “hmm!”-ing, shoving almost a whole pancake into their mouth, making Thomas shake his head lightheartedly. Logan, too, smiles brightly when the taste hits xer tongue, but xe notices the worry in Virgil’s face, evident behind their eyes.

“Virgil,” xe asks, “are you alright?”

Virgil sighs.

“…I’m still nervous about being a secret agent kinda guy.” Virgil admits. Roman hums as they eat another pancake, half in response and half at the meal.

“You are very thoughtful and intelligent, and rather adept to slipping around unnoticed.” Logan says encouragingly. “I understand your anxieties about- going around the law, as it is, but I think out of all of us, you are the best for it. You consider the outcome of situations well before you act in them, and even when that is not an option, you take any information you can to make your decisions, rather than jumping in recklessly.” xe says. “I think your cautious curiosity would benefit us greatly.”

Virgil looks at the carpet, picking at a loose piece of yarn. Patton rubs his back.

“What can I do?” he asks.

Logan smiles. “I know you stated you know little of magic, Patton, but your emotional intelligence would make you a great sorcerer. I think it would be worth a try to teach you a few spells.”

Patton lights up. “You want me to learn magic?”

Logan nods. Patton makes an ecstatic noise. Roman makes a similar noise about having another pancake in their mouth.

After they’ve eaten breakfast, Patton shuffles into the library, Virgil following behind. Thomas waves at him and stays at the table to begin on writing up some ideas, concentrating hard on the pen and paper, his antlers glowing magenta as he plans. Virgil wonders if he’s doing it on purpose, or if it’s an unconscious feat of the royal lineage, much like he’s seen of Roman’s glow. Roman themselves is getting cleaned up. Virgil wonders how they get shirts on over their antlers.

One of the easiest spells to learn, and one I think you will enjoy, is basic healing.” Logan says, interrupting Virgil’s train of thought. “The body already has the resources to heal small wounds, like scratches and cuts. You are just encouraging it to perform those actions quicker and more efficiently.”

“Ooh,” Patton says. “So it’s like giving your cells a little boost!”

“Precisely.” Logan says. “Let’s see…ah, here!”

Xe takes a book from the shelf, old and worn with a leather spine reading *Simple Spellcasting*.

“May I see that stick? I will need it to ensure you are able to perform the spells,” xe asks, turning to Patton while opening and scanning through the book. Taking it out of his belt loop, Patton hands it over, and Logan grabs it seamlessly without looking up from the book.

“This first spell is more complex to learn, but necessary for any magic user without inherent magic of their own,” Logan explains, holding the book up but turning their attention to the stick, twirling it effortlessly between xer fingers. “It will allow you to command the energy present in the realm. There are some spells that may pose issues for us because they rely on a pre-existing magic source, but we will get to those later. For now, this should be more than enough.”

Under their breath, they begin to mutter.

Sparks jump off of xer horn, surrounding the stick in neon blue until they nearly obscure it, then they swirl around it like the cosmos and imbue themselves in the stick. It still looks like a stick, but the surface is cleaner, with a handful of blue gemstones inset throughout.

“Wooaah.” Patton admires. “That was wand-erful!”

“Thank you,” Logan smirks. “Catch!”

Xe tosses the stick to Patton, who does, indeed catch it, giving it a spin like a baton.

“Wait,” Virgil says. “If this is a healing spell, what are we testing it on?”

Logan nods. “A good question, Virgil. While this spell is intended for skin, it will work just as well on this.” xe lifts a small potted plant from the shelf, placing it on a nearby library table.

“May I borrow your foldable dagger?” Logan asks.

Virgil stifles a laugh. “My pocket knife? Yeah, sure.”

“It’s fascinating,” Logan says as Virgil hands the butterfly knife over to xem. “You must show me how to do that trick with it later. But let’s proceed with the magic lesson first.”

With a not insignificant amount of caution, Logan flicks the knife open, marveling at it for another moment before taking a leaf between two fingers and making a singular, shallow cut in the stem.

“I will demonstrate, and then you can try it, Patton.” Logan says. “You can come closer, so you can watch closely.”

Xe taps gently on either side of the cut, looking at it scrutinizingly.

The sparks jump off from xer horn again, covering the wound like a bandage. Much like the stick, the sparks swirl around it, then fade into the plant, leaving a sparkling sheen behind.

As xe finishes, the plant begins to reform itself at the cut, little bits of chlorophyll rebuilding the ‘wound’ until it has disappeared, only a small raised area where the cut had been. If Virgil hadn’t seen it heal itself, he doesn’t think he would have noticed even that.

“Wow!” Patton exclaims. “That was amazing!’

Logan blushes, rubbing the back of xer neck. “Thank you, Patton. Are you ready to give it a try?”

Patton nods, and Logan makes a second cut on the plant on a new stem. Xe puts xer hands on Patton’s shoulders, adjusting them just so in front of the plant.

“Now, focus. Think about healing it.” Xe says. Virgil chuckles. Judging by Patton’s red face and flustered expression, he might have a hard time doing that.

Patton steels his focus, though, tapping once with the stick on each side of the cut, like Logan had done with xer finger.

Patton watches, awestruck, as the plant reforms itself again, bridging a new form where a cut had been. Like before, there is almost no evidence that the plant had ever been damaged there- only a barely-perceptible, slightly raised edge where the healing magic took effect.

“Very well done, Patton.” Logan says. “This is excellent work, especially for your first spell.”

“Aw, well.” he smiles back. “I had a pretty good teacher.”

“You guys are nerds!” Virgil snorts, because any comment on Patton’s blush will inevitably result in Patton retorting with Virgil’s sappiness around Roman, and Virgil would like to avoid that, thanks.

“Perhaps you should try the spell too, Virgil,” Logan says, and xer tone is earnest, but there is a smirk on xer face. Virgil narrows his eyes at xem and Logan tilts xer head innocently. “It would be good for you to know it too. Just in case you need to heal a minor wound.”

“Alright.” Virgil says. “Do I need to go find a stick?”

“You can borrow mine!” Patton says, handing him the stick. Logan nods, making a third small cut on the plant.

Virgil concentrates. He taps on one side of the cut, then the other, just like he’s seen Patton do. Then, the spell:

Before his eyes, the cut heals- not quite as smoothly as the previous two, but healing nonetheless, the stem weaving new cells into place. It’s a little jagged- but it heals, even if the bump from Virgil’s spellcasting is a little bit more noticeable than the other two incantations.

Even so-

“That is pretty cool.” Virgil admits, handing the stick back to Patton. “I’ll try to remember it if I’ve got a wand, even if I’m going to be more of a kinda sneaking-and-fighting kind of rebel.”

Patton spins the stick, beaming, and Virgil gives him a smile. Logan nods at them sagely, seeing something behind Virgil,

“Patton, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to see how you fare with a more advanced spell. Virgil, I think Roman would like to talk.”

Virgil turns around to see Roman approaching him, hair still limp from the shower. They look a bit silly without their normal curls, and Virgil finds themselves endeared, blushing slightly.

Ever astute, Logan notices. Xe coughs, “You-“

“We’ll let you two talk!” Patton says, dragging xem off. Logan mutters out the rest of xer sentence, something about Roman being a sap and Patton interrupting xe’s prime making fun of Roman opportunity.

Virgil turns to Roman, ignoring the other pair as they walk away. “Hey,” he coughs. “You good?”

“I wanted to ask you that.” Roman says gently. “You seem to be worried about being a spy. But I know you can do it.”

Virgil bites his lip. “Can I?”

“You told me that even if you’re not ready yet, being a good person who wants to do good is enough,” Roman reminds him, “and you are a good person, Virgil. You’re brave and smart and kind, and I know you’re going to be great.”

Virgil smiles at them. “Thanks, Princey.”

“Anytime, Spy-olet,” Roman says, and Virgil chokes on his spit. “What!” Roman questions. “If you’re going to call me Princey, it’s only fair you have a nickname too.”

“Why Spyolet?” Virgil questions. Roman shrugs, smiling. “You’re a spy, and you like purple.”

Virgil squints at Roman, trying to seem annoyed. Roman shoots him back a grin.

“Fine.” Virgil says. “But not in front of the others.”

“Yes!” Roman cheers, beaming, and Virgil figures he can live with the nickname if it makes Roman smile so wide.

#sanders sides #the carousel kingdom #tss big bang 2024 #fanfic

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eukaryotesrool · 1 year ago

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"13 Animal Facts That Ruin Disney Movies" Is Silly

The article I'm discussing

(Bit of an introduction, feel free to skip to the creamy center.)

These clickbaitey lists have always been a pet peeve of mine. Though I get a lot of amusement out of mocking them, so why not ramble to you, yes you and only you specifically.

Lets talk about the introduction for a sec

"From Timone and Pumbaa in The Lion King" (An excerpt from the article intro)

I'm sorry, WHO THE HELL IS "TIMONE"!? Oh boy oh boy, you know it's a good one when they mispell a character name already.

"Mushu in Mulan, these animals add humor and life to the films." (An excerpt from the article intro)

Are... are they implying Mushu the dragon is an animal? They never even try to give 'facts' about him, so it feels like mentioning him just defeats the point they're making about animal characters being neat. If they HAD to talk about Mulan, why not Cri-Kee the cricket?

"You won’t believe which beloved characters are actually based on real animals!" (An excerpt from the article intro)

Yeah, we'll see about that one chief.

I grew up on a good few of the movies mentioned, so I'll tell ya when my childhood starts crumbling, lets get into it.

(Bwhahahahahahaha, what a great start, and the image they chose! This has to be intentional)

Guys! G-guys! Come quick, Aladdin is ruined for me!!!

So, this is actually true and not presented facetiously. It seems like you can't really train them to stop, but like is this ruining the movie for y'all? I smell false advertising.

Also, I've seen some claims you CAN potty train them, so in the context of a Disney movie, mmm well consider my suspension of disbelief... unstretched.

(What the fuck bro?)

A good few of these fall into the genre of "If the characters acted like perfect little robots dancing along to whatever facts about their species I read: the movie would be SO different guys!1!!1!1!" I won't talk about a few of them, to avoid repeating myself.

If they were perfectly realistic, they wouldn't talk or think like humans (I'm refering to the anthropomorphized animals) even IF Marlin still has that instinct. That is the last egg he had with his beloved (and now dead) wife, and the other eggs are all destroyed, it is NOT any stretch of the imagination to assume he would raise this egg because of

1: his emotional attachment to it and

2: if he ate it, there goes his ONLY offspring, this would only really work if Nemo had siblings and/or we see other clownfish Marlin would be willing to mate with.

Anyway, a list of all the "wouldn't movie be so sad/scary/gross different if the characters didn't act in character?" Ones: 8 and 5

This is caused by boredom, Donald isn't bored, overcrowding (like in poorly managed farms, such as the ones that need beak trimming), or poor nutrition, Donald seems to have good enough nutrition

Also this essentially goes into what I was just talking about in the previous point, but frankly, most of them do.

(Sheesh Cracked, no need to talk to Simba like that, what'd he do to you?)

1: That doesn't ALWAYS happen (especially when the cub is also the fucking prince, you wad!). I watched a documentary (called 'Born in Africa' I believe, would recommend) and there was a lion cub debiliated by a broken back, but she was still being raised, not treated as gently as she should have been, but not abandoned. YET lionesses will sometimes abandon weak, injured, or malformed cubs and since exceptions NEVER happen that documentery is unrealistic, clearly.

2: I'm pretty sure the abandonment only happens while the cubs are very young and the lioness leaves the pride to raise them. That doesn't seem to happen in the Lion King, so we can assume the abandonment wouldn't happen.

3: He's the fucking prince, you wad! But sure, lets kill him because he doesn't have a sibling, not like he has the protection of the lion pride and the respect of the animals of the Pridelands. This is totally the same thing as wild lions real life.

(My poor heart can't take all this childhood-ruining!)

Ah yes, the other primary genre; the ones that are just plain silly, how could THIS ruin a movie?

Though I do wonder, why did they name him Flounder? Both in an in-canon and meta sense... huh.

Also, flounders are adorable!

(Fun fact: Because elephant metabolisms don't digest their food too well, their feces is full of nutrients which goes into the environment, through bugs, and plants, and such.)

This list is starting to feel more like "Thirteen weird and worrying facts about animal species which happen to show up in Disney movies"

Anyway, refer to the Flounder rebuttal.

I'm skipping number four because it comes down to what I've just said.

What? How does that even effect the movie? Are they saying the other rats being able to tell Remy's food isn't poison ruins the plot? THEY NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS POISON! They thought cooking food was frivolous.

Again, this is just listing animal facts which are maybe kinda tangientially related to Disney movies.

(Imagine the bottom text without the context of the image or top text...)

"Those wild clothes-wearing-mice are filthy, don't touch them!"

Specist, much?

Admitably I don't have the greatest counter to this one.

(What a coincidence, I've recently read/posted about meerkats)

Our friends at Cracked saved the best for last.

By insinuating Timon (Oh sorry) Timone is a mass murderer, did you not watch Lion King 1½!? Listen bud, you can misunderstand the word 'ruin', you can clickbait me, but I draw the line at failing to do the simplest research into the lore of the Lion King cinematic multiverse!

WE KNOW TIMONE'S BACKSTORY!

Okay, but maybe the writer denies the canonicity of everyone's favorite midquel, sure that's valid as hell.

But!

Female meerkats are the ones doing the killing, like male lions, they (mostly the dominant female) kill the offspring of other meerkats to try and give their genes a better chance of passing on.

So, are they insinuating Timone is not just a mass murderer, but also trans? You know what Cracked? You win, lets go with that! But I wouldn't say it ruins the Lion King for me.

Sigh BUT the theory claims he killed his meerkat friends, not newborns, so it doesn't correctly use the real life fact, I could accept Disney using a bit of creative-liscense, I could accept a fan theory using creative liscense (I'd eat the "Timone murderer and trans dude" theory up, if not for the midquel) but an article dedicated to talking about fictional characters following animals facts perfectly, gets no such privilege.

Outro

To clear: I bear no real ill will to the author of this article, it is a bad article, but at least it made me chuckle, and gave me something to rant about. Either way, I'm sure the writer is a perfectly decent person, good even!

And hey! They cited their sources, in some cases they seemed to not even read their own sources, but they cited them! And it is my belief that spreading knowledge an inherent good.

But they wrote a silly article, so I get to point and laugh, them's da rules.

#animals #animal facts #animal fact #please correct any typos or erroneous information #animal #disney #disney movies #cracked #is silly #This was jolly good fun #fanboymode #fandom

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every1studio · 2 years ago

Text

“sour apples” [harry potter: draco malfoy]

genre: fluff

ficstyle: bulletpoints + mini series

prompt: you're a hufflepuff, you could never fall in love with a slytherin.. let alone draco malfoy, can you...? / inspired by the lyrics from “sour grapes” by LESSERFIM / fem reader but can be gender neutral

note: I'm kinda back? sorry for the wait.. I'll try to get into writing again. still sticking to writing for k-idols but I'm going out on a limb and writing for HP characters as well // enjoy~

‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊

“I don’t see what you all see in him.. he’s still an asshole..” you muttered as the slytherin prince walks passed your group of friends

“but he’s hot” your friend murmured as they noticed him look over

“and rich”

“and he smells good..”

he sends a wink to the group and every girl in the vicinity just about dropped their pants

basically anyone who even thought the prince was attracted dropped their pants

all except for you

he’s rude

he’s arrogant

he’s narcissistic

but all is forgiven because he’s good-looking, his family’s got money and he has proper hygiene?

who’s this slytherin prince that all of these simps are drooling over?

draco

lucius

malfoy

you couldn’t be bothered by someone like him

you’d rather spend your time with someone who was the complete opposite of that self-centered, self-proclaimed “prince”

someone like harry potter

or so you thought

the more you hanged out with him

the more predicable he was

you wanted some spice in your life and all he was giving you was sugar

there’s nothing wrong with sugar but he was literally giving you diabetes and you could feel your arteries just clogging up

“hey y/n”

you knew by the cheery yet mellow tone of voice that it was harry

your friends nudged at you before leaving

“hiya harry” you sighed through a smile, “what can I do for you?”

you can tell he was nervous, he’s probably going to ask you out to get some sweets at honeydukes or madam puddifoot’s tea shop or sometime of the sort

“did you want to go to honeydukes some time this weekend? or maybe even madam puddifoot’s tea shop?”

bingo

you got up from your spot

brushing off some invisible dust to try to shoo off the unwavering tension in the air

“harry.. can I be honest?”

you could see his bright eyes slowly dull and his sweaty hands hide in the pockets of his robes

he nods

you tried to look anywhere but into his sadden eyes

“you’re... you’re not the guy for me, harry.. and I know there’s a girl out there who’s just waiting for you to be in her life but..”

at this moment you felt like you owed him a sincere eye contact moment

“..it’s not me.. it’s just not me..”

“yeah. sure. no worries. don’t worry about it...”

you could see him ramble; a mix of awkwardness and him not wanting to show how upset he really was

“harry.. you’re a great guy...you really are...”

you were almost whispery, scared to shatter his broken heart even more

“but not for you”

you nodded at your feet

“but not for me” you repeated

not wanted to look up at the boy that you left smashed and shattered

“I’ll be okay, y/n.. honest.. don’t look so sad.. I’m just glad that you were able to tell me now versus later down the line..”

you couldn’t stop thinking about the pitiful state you left harry in

he literally needed his friends to carry him away

it made you think about what kind of relationship you wanted to be in

what kind of guy you wanted to be in your perfect fairytale

because if it wasn’t with harry

who else could it be with?

while lost in your thoughts, you accidently bumped into someone

books and papers where scattered everywhere but there was no one else in the halls but you and the person you bumped into

you were already frantically trying to pick up their things

“oh I’m so sor-”

“ARE YOU BLIND?!”

their loud voice ran over yours and you already knew who it was

you scoffed in immediate irritation

“excuse me, malfoy? if I’m blind, so are you! you also bumped into me! what makes you think you can walk in the middle of the hall like you own the place and not watch where you’re going?”

draco didn’t realized that he bumped into you

he was so close to you

so close that he could see every single lash that flared up to the ceiling

so close that he could hear your soft, angelic breaths

so close that he could kiss you if he wanted to

of course he wanted to

sure, you were a hufflepuff

but ever since he first saw you, he thought you were different

you were kind but strong-minded, strong-willed

you seemed like you were prim and proper, you didn’t care if you got your hands dirty

you had the qualities of a hufflepuff but you could’ve gone to any house and fit right in

and of course, he thought you were absolutely stunning

he even deemed you the princess of the entire school

the missing piece to his set; the princess that the prince needed

if only he could voice that thought

he never could though, he’d never let anyone know his deepest and darkest daydreams

“it’s cause I do own these halls, sweetheart..”

you frowned at his attempt to swoon you

“sorry, I didn’t know you were the headmaster albus dumbledore.. next time I see a head of white hair, I’ll make sure to walk the other way..”

you dropped his belongings on the ground and began to walk away from him

“aren’t you going to help me, y/n?” draco called out to you, wondering why you weren’t infatuated with him like everyone else

“they’re your things in your halls.. apparently... pick it up yourself!” you shouted without looking behind you

what a snobby brat, you thought

but what a shame... he really is attractive up close

after your run-in with draco, you couldn’t stop thinking about what if you were like the other girls

the girls who were infatuated with him

the girls who wanted a chance with him

would you want to?

maybe he isn’t the same person as he’s portraying to the public eye

at the same time, draco was thinking about why didn’t you call him by his first name like all the girls who are smitten by him and how he was going to get you to fall for him

how could you not?

he scratched at his head trying to figure out reasons why you didn’t like him

did you not like rich, successful, smart and handsome guys?

did his breath smelled at that moment?

were his grey eyes too grey?

was his platinum blonde hair too platinum?

he was so frustrated, he ran to his friends in the great hall for advice

“hey you lot, what are my flaws?”

draco slammed his hands on the slytherins’ table where his friends all sat

“are you okay, draco?” pansy fawned over the blonde boy

blaise chuckled

“yeah, draco.. did you hit your head or somethi-”

“I’m fine! just answer my questions.. what are some reasons someone might not like me?”

his friends all looked at each other, worried that what they say might set him off

“okay but you can’t get mad,” theo said with stern eyes

“yeah yeah yeah.. go on... what are they?” draco didn’t know what he was getting himself into

“you can be... a bit mean..” crabbe didn’t even dare to make eye contact with the agitated blonde

“and a bit self-centered,” goyle chimed in

“you’re an ass and a pain in everyone’s asses”

blaise shouldn’t have said that with a smile on his face

“you think you’re all that but you’re not,” theo and blaise were just happy that they got to shit on draco to his face

“I think you’re perfect,” pansy tried to hide her blushing smile

“that’s not what asked of us, pansy..” blaise was so done with her

“yeah chill out, he’s not even interested in you..” theo joined in

he was literally just there for the banter

pansy just slumped back into her seat when she noticed draco wasn’t even going to deny that he was interested in her

“speaking of interested, what’s your sudden interest in what other people think of you anyways draco?”

blaise always knew there was an underlying reason draco did anything and he was gonna get to the bottom of it

“none of your business,” draco muttered as he shuffled away

“what a weirdo..” theo chuckled as he went back to his dino chicken nuggets

if his friends thought about this of him, what would people he didn’t like think of him?

he wanted to show you his good side, his best side

not the side that everyone saw

he wanted to show the side that he hid away to his friends and even his parents

the closet romantic who just wants someone who will love his flaws and enhance his good qualities

as if luck was on his side, you were right there, walking along side your friends

you were irritated by your friends because you told them about your run-in with draco and all they could talk about was how lucky you were

and as if bad luck was on your side, draco malfoy stopped right in front of you and your friends

“hey y/n.. I was wondering if..” he had to take a breath in the middle of his sentence, “I was wondering if you wanted to help me study for our potions quiz tomorrow?”

“why are you asking me like someone made you ask me? don’t you have other friends to help you study, malfoy?” you snapped

“draco, I can study with you!”

“I’m free too, draco!”

your friends started chiming in while closing in on him

hoping for a chance to get any essence of draco malfoy

you were slowly closing into the background but you didn’t care, you didn’t want to be near him

he probably liked the attention anyways

to your surprise, he weaved his way through the crowd to get to you

the only attention he wanted was yours

“I really wanted to ask you because you are one of the top students in our class and I could learn a lot from you..”

like a flick of a wand, you saw draco in a different light

you could catch a baby blue sliver of hope in his eyes that twinkled

is it possible for eyes to even twinkle like that?

is it possible to even trust him?

did he have any ulterior motives?

if there was any, you couldn’t find it.. not in those eyes anyways

“I don’t even know if I can even help you study in a day...” you furrowed your brows but your voice was soft

you kind of wished that he just said, alright, and walk away

“if anyone can teach me in a day, I know it’s you... I mean.. you managed to help cedric with his OWLs and he passed.. or so I heard...”

draco kept his eyes down for the most part but occasionally looked up to take a peek at you and was shuffling his feet against each other

have you ever seen draco shuffle his feet before or even for anyone?

a day with draco malfoy wouldn’t be so awful, right?

“I’ll meet you after dinner in the library.. if you aren’t there by 9pm.. don’t even think about asking me to help you study ever again..” you spoke firmly, you didn’t want him thinking that he can easily take advantage of you

the bell rung for students to get to class

“I won’t be late, y/n! I promise!” draco lit up and started walking away to make sure he wasn’t late to class

but then as soon as you turned your back to draco, he was running back towards you

“wait y/n!”

you were taken aback by his sudden appearance and how close he was to you

he took your hands into his and placed a chaste kiss onto your knuckles, “thank you.. I really mean it.. can’t wait to see you later..”

and as fast as he appeared, he disappeared

if he didn’t leave as fast as he did, you would probably catch his redden cheeks and ears

he felt like a giddy schoolgirl (he probably looked like it too)

but he didn’t care

you, on the other hand, were conflicted by your prior feelings of him and the feelings you had for him now

you didn’t want to deal with your friends bickering about how you got his attention so you blocked them out and made your way to your class

why was draco so interested in you all of a sudden?

did he actually have feelings for you?

should you even try to go for the impossible?

should you even try to go for someone as rude, arrogant and narcissistic as draco lucius malfoy?

with all of these uneasy feelings, class was the only thing that could put any of your feelings aside and focus on something else

that’s what you thought

you couldn’t stop thinking about his twinkly grey eyes, his platinum blonde hair and his...

why were you even thinking about him in divination class?

“my dear...” professor trelawney reached out to you

“you will see that there’s an apple high on a tree, unattainable and basking in it’s glory.. but you have to work for it.. if you want a taste.. only then, you will be happy.. but my dear if you give up... you’ll never know if the apple is truly sweet or sour... and you’ll continue life without knowing, if the apple was worth it or not...”

you looked at her in confusion (also kind of weirded out)

you just nodded so that she’d go bother someone else

leaving you to marinate about what she just said

was she really just talking about an apple or was it an analogy for your current inner conflicts with the slytherin prince?

to be continued...

[part one] [part two]

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

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crystalitecloudie · 3 years ago

Text

Apparently people really likes my sagau post where the creator shapeshifts into a cat to avoid being hunted down as the imposter.

SO I'M MAKING A FULL ON POST ABOUT IT (this is my first time posting something like this so forgive me if it kind of sucks).

How would Genshin Characters react to finding out their pet cat was their beloved Creator??

featuring Diluc, Jean, Albedo, Klee, and Venti. Can be seen as platonic or romantic (except Klee lol).

WARNINGS?: idk just you being a cat, genshin sagau, imposter au, reader is the creator, probably trigger warnings for cult stuff and mentions of being hunted down/almost dying, reader has rainbow blood instead of gold because I am pushing my rainbow blood reader agenda, pretty sure it's gender neutral but if not then whoops, fluff, Crack, AND angst. A full three course meal guys, eat up 🤩

All writings below were written by me. Genshin Impact is made by Hoyoverse <3

SCENARIO -- you have suddenly been isekai'd into Genshin, and of course it's the imposter au. BUT you decide to test your powers, and shapeshift into... a cat. now it is time for you to get adopted so you don't starve and die while trying to figure out why the heck your favorite characters now want to kill you.

DILUC:

as stated in the post where I randomly came up with this idea, you'd probably sneak into the tavern while he happened to be working

probably originally went there to try and find venti and exact revenge on him. because HE LITERALLY TRIED TO KILL YOU.... when you were in human form

now you're just a lovable cat who can do no wrong 🥰🥰

BUT when you find diluc there, you're like "HECK YEAH" and do EVERYTHING you can to gain his favor.

INCLUDING scratching Kaeya, knocking over the empty cups of drunkards who have had one too many shots to stop them from having another, and more.

Diluc was gonna kick you out... but you're helping him. Sort of. Still finds you a bit bothersome.

And when he tries to leave...

You follow him home. Mustering up your best meow and trying to get him to "come home".

he finally caves in when adeline says he should. But he's glad he did.

You stick to him like GLUE. he's often out on missions as the darknight hero, and you are a great helper, surprisingly.

It's almost... TOO good to be true. It's like you understand what he is saying...

Probably gets suspicious and asks you to your furry face if you're with the Abyss Order or somethin. You just tilt your head in confusion and meow because you are just a lovable floof who does no wrong

Finally finds out you are the Creator while out on a mission. One of the enemies tries to attack him, but you block it instead, your hind leg bleeding RAINBOWS???

I mean... certainly felt your presence was odd, but... YOU'RE THE CREATOR??????

gets embarrassed by all of the times you saw him changing in his room dhdjdvegsi

When in private, you shift into your human form and explain the WHOLE situation about you just... being isekai'd here.

He becomes one of your most loyal followers from then on, even if he wasn't particularly religious before then.

continues to call you by the pet name he gave you as a cat, instead of "Your Grace", which you find comforting. he still mentally sees you as a cat though, since you continue to take on that form even after he knows your true identity

JEAN:

Jean is... you fear her. Especially after the whole imposter hunt, because she was one of the big people leading it.

You weren't originally planning on getting stuck with her, either. You had originally planned to stay with Diona as one of her new cats at the cat's tail

but that didn't work out because you smelled FOOD at good hunter.

and everyone (and cat) LOVES food.

so you go there and see Jean eating a meal with Lisa. Feeling the anger course through you, you swiftly steal her meal and eat it... and then get caught.

she originally thinks you were one of Diona's cats, but when Diona says she doesn't recognize you... Jean takes you in

Because SOMETHING was pulling her to you (spoiler alert, it was your magical creator aura because yOu'Re SpEciAL-

Over time, you grow a lot closer with her. you even almost forget that she tried to kill you 😀

Key word, almost 🙄

but you really see that she's just loyal and cares about you. She's been misled by the imposter creator, who currently rules Teyvat, and just wants the best for you.

So you soften your heart... and forgive her. Because she's given you a lot of love while you've been a cat.

You mostly help her out by getting more pens and ink while she works. You also bring her snacks and occasionally push the ink bowl away to remind her to take breaks :)

Here's the problem though -- I can't ever imagine you getting into some sort of accident and bleeding under her care. She definitely recognizes your aura as abnormal and like the creator's, but isn't. Connecting. The dots.

So you literally injure yourself and show her your rainbow blood to get her attention.

OH MY ARCHONS YOU'RE THE CREATOR AND YOU'RE BLEEDING YOUR GRACE NO-

SEVERELY apologizes when she heals your wound (in human form). Good luck going back into cat form because she is STILL going to call you "yOuR gRaCe"-

Probably hides you in her house or something, and tries to get more people on your side to take down the imposter ruling Teyvat. Also probably tries to call off the hunt in Mondstadt, giving reasons like "we haven't seen them in several months they're probably dead lol"

Overall she had a good redemption arc 👌

ALBEDO:

I hate to fall into the cliche of "Albedo recognizes the imposter as the true creator in every imposter au fic 🥺" but,,,,

that's exactly what happens. Sorry guys, couldn't resist the temptation

Immediately recognizes something is wrong when he watches your reactions from afar as they surround you. He can feel your aura SO STRONGLY, how is everyone else SO STUPID-

luckily you got away, but were heavily injured. Albedo didn't know where you went after you escaped until he found you in dragonspine (ofc 🙄)

He saw all of the colorful bruises (literally), and decided to take you in. You explained your situation, and tried to come up with a solution together.

When you mention that it seems you can shapeshift, he's actually the one that suggests you shapeshifting into a "pet".

and you COMPLETELY go along with it (because it is secretly fulfilling all of your fantasies, sexual or not), transforming into a Lil kitty.

NOBODY suspects you two. Albedo is Albedo. He is curious of the world and of life, so it was expected that eventually he would take in some sort of pet. And you're just such a good kitty 🥺

Also lets you play with klee and occupy her from time to time. Klee has definitely been like "she reminds me of the creator!" And then albedo has just been like "ah that's nice🙃"

Overall you're pretty good in his care. He still sometimes slips a "Your Grace", but he treats you as an equal and partner in taking down the real imposter

KLEE:

you probably found her in cat form while heading to the city. She was fish blasting (ofc), and decided to try and feed you some of the fish she caught 🥺

Surprisingly good btw. BUT she gets caught...

But not without begging Jean to let her take you home.

Jean reluctantly agrees, after MUCH begging and crying from Klee

tbh, Klee doesn't even understand why she likes you so much. She feels an aura, sure, but she just thinks you're a nice cat. Doesn't suspect you ONCE.

that is, until you accidentally get injured by one of her bombs. SHE RUINED YOUR GORGEOUS FUR 🤬🤬🤬

she sees the burn marks (which are literally rainbow colors 🌈) and is like "huh,,, dodoco is it normal for cats to have rainbow bruises????"

SO SHE ASKS ALBEDO and he's like "... no. Lemme look at your cat please archons this isn't right"

And Albedo definitely recognizes that you are the creator... but he has a TON of questions.

Decides to tell klee, but tells her she has to keep it a secret.

She never sees you in your human form btw. Klee will now forever see you as a cat who has been guiding her life even before arriving in teyvat

just imagine a cat playing genshin lol

And she's probably too young to understand the titles either. Just keeps calling you by whatever name she gave you as a cat

VENTI:

IMMEDIATELY when he met you at the Cat's tail, he knew something was wrong.

At the time, you'd been staying with Diona and the other cats. And venti SHOULD be having an allergic reaction.

But for SOME REASON, he wasn't?? In fact, any allergy symptoms just... went away when you were near.

He was so puzzled?? Albedo happened to hear about it, and suggested that maybe this "cat" (AKA you) didn't produce the protein in their spit that would normally make him allergic to you

And yes, for those who are allergic to cats, you're not allergic to their fur. You're allergic to a protein in their spit. Normally you would need that protein to survive, BUT you're the creator so <3

You end up following him because of his nice music. Despite him being broke (and barely able to feed the both of you), his company is still welcome

I feel like he would be against the whole "hunting down the imposter" thing, unlike the other archons

but since he's the God of freedom, he let's his people continue their search and hunt you down.

he probably finds out for some stupid reason that you're the creator (like you fall out of a tree climbing and scratch yourself or something)

Apologizes for not doing anything before after you go into your human form and explain.

Probably still occasionally calls you "Your Grace" in private as a tease, but won't do it if it makes you uncomfy. Mostly uses your cat name, since he knows how serious revealing your identity can be

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shiny-jr · 3 years ago

Note

If it's not bother, what do you think twst characters hugs would be?

Anon, it is not a bother at all. In fact, I actually like answering stuff like this. I'm gonna put at least two for each character, one being more of the first type of hug and the second being once you're closer to them. Here's just a few of them from Heartslabyul.

HEARTSLABYUL

Ace Trappola

You know those casual one arm around your shoulder hug that's not really a hug and just keeping his arm there? Yeah, I can see Ace doing that often. It's the buddy hug. Not so touchy that it's embarrassing but cool enough so he's comfortable staying like that.

Actual hugs? Cringeee, haha–– he's kidding. Although he's a tricky one when initiating a hug. He won't admit that he wants a hug. Oh no. You'll have to initiate, and even then he's teasing you about it. If he does initiate a hug, he's placing all the blame on you. Aw, look at you all sad! Do you want a hug that bad? It's a teensy bit pathetic. But even as he says all that, he's giving you a hug.

It seems like a normal hug no he's totally not nervous right now. Actually, if it might've been nice to lay your ear against his chest to hear his quick heartbeat and every time he spoke–– if only it weren't ruined by the unrelenting teasing.

Deuce Spade

Probably gives solid bro hugs at first. You know what I mean by bro hug. Like those quick one armed hugs where you give the other person a pat on the back and pull away all under the span of five seconds. I can only see him unknowingly doing this often.

You want a hug from him? Ah, he wasn’t expecting this–– Did something happen? Did you get hurt? Are you sad? Huh? Nothing happened, you just want a hug just cause...? Ah–– Yeah, you’re going to have to initiate it. Deuce is awkward when it comes to stuff like this. He won’t oppose it, in fact he’ll try to give a good hug, but he’s a little awkward about it.

This guy is stiff during an actual hug. He’s unsure, but his arms are around you and he’s giving awkward pats on your back. His heartbeat is particularly quick, and he’s not quite sure how long he should stay in place or when he should pull away. Guide him, will you?

Cater Diamond

Like Ace, he gives more of those one-armed hugs but they’re a lot more common, like an every day thing. Selfie? You’re getting pulled in. Stopping for a chat? Dragged in. Just sitting or standing by him? C’mere! You’re getting yanked into his arm!

You want a hug...? You notice him go still for a moment, as if deciding what to do, his hesitance was bit unnatural before he’s back to “normal” and readily agreeing! At first he’s attempting to gauge what kind of hug you want, he’s really unsure. He might initiate a hug usually but it’s never this serious! Aren’t you such a cute junior, asking me for a hug~? He says that but he’s a teensy bit nervous.

At first the hug feels... empty? It should felt normal, over even great by his smile, but there wasn’t any real energy or genuine feeling behind it. If you hug him pat his back, he’ll relax and go a little limp. There was no hyper energy behind it, just a rare peace and relief.

Trey Clover

Probably gives the best hugs in the dorm. If you’re looking for comforting hugs, he’s the Heartslabyul member you want. He does those normal but nice hugs especially when you need it.

They’re not all that common, you’d have to show signs of wanting one first. Once you do show signs, you don’t even have to ask, Trey will offer. He won’t tease you or deny wanting a hug, he’s very calm about it and he smells like freshly baked goods! You haven’t been in the best of spirits lately, have you? Do you need a hug?

It feels like a hug from a dependable and caring older brother. He’s patting your head, he has a grip around you that’s neither too tight nor too loose, it’s just right. You could practically fall asleep as he’s assuring you about your best efforts today.

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle gives the same types of hugs as Trey but as awkwardly as Deuce. Meaning they’re not as comforting, but who’s to say it’s bad? It has their own unique charm that the others don’t have at all.

The dorm leader is proper and composed, always making sure to keep his manners, meaning he won’t just suddenly ask for a hug. This is yet another one you have to ask or initiate with. There’s no guarantee he’ll accept, unless you’re now an important person to him now. If you insist, then... he’ll comply.

But he’ll try his best to give a good hug! He’s studying up, his search taking him through various novels in the library. He’s shorter than the others, so you can either rest your head on his shoulder or head. He’s stiff but attempting to try his best. He probably smells the best, like roses and tea. Give him a careful pat or two and he’ll begin to relax into your hold.

#twisted wonderland #Heartslabyul #twst #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #trey clover #twst trey #cater diamond #twst cater #deuce spade #twst deuce #ace trappola #twst ace

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ppersonna · 4 years ago

Text

swipe right - jjk | m

“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers

♡ summary- after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)

♡ word count- 9k

♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.

♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia @untaemedqueen for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks and @hongism for the perusal and help in writing this!

Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.

He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.

Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.

Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.

“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.

You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”

“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”

You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.

“I’m at our park.”

Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.

“Give me five minutes, okay?”

You nod, even though he can’t see you.

“Okay.”

Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.

He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.

You still look so beautiful.

And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.

He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.

“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.

He sniffs haughtily.

“The trash added character.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.

“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.

He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.

“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”

You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.

“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.

“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.

“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.

Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.

He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.

“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”

“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.

“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”

As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.

You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it.

“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water.

He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk.

“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.”

Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo.

“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?”

You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above.

“You call Jimin a prince?”

Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband.

“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.”

You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.”

You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own.

“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.”

“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.”

Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid.

It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom.

The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed.

The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it.

Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can.

“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”

Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone.

The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway.

He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk.

His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read.

He just matched with YOU.

His best friend.

His secret, lifelong crush.

He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it.

YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!

He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen.

JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?

You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other.

Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message.

JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀

Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone.

A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend.

YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies

“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone.

Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion.

“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”

You huff.

“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”

Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband.

“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.

There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line.

“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”

You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend.

“It’s nothing!”

“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.”

“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”

“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.”

You roll your eyes.

“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”

“I’ll be expecting your call later.”

“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”

“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”

You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.

“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.

You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.

So, why do you care so much about what you wear?

You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.

Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?

The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.

You shake all thoughts off.

No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.

You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.

Perfect.

With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.

JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!

ME: See you soon!

Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.

Is he too casual?

He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.

Maybe it’s too much.

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.

Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.

He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.

He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.

It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.

You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.

“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.

He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.

You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams.

“Jungkook?”

It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.

“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.

“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.

“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.

“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.

“Oh?” He asks, taken aback.

In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.

“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”

His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly.

“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”

The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”

A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.

“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures.

You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.

“Well, are we going?”

Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.

But he resists.

“Let’s go!”

You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen.

But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more.

Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is.

But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork.

Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.

And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you.

It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause.

“What’s up?” He asks curiously.

Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner.

You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours.

“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”

Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own.

Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to.

As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.

“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.

Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.

“What? We were going to get ice cream?”

You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.

You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.

“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.

His body stiffens.

“Okay, let me walk you home.”

You shake your head, already moving away from the man.

“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.

Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.

You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.

“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.

“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”

“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.

“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.

“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator.

Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.

“We’re on our way over.”

Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.

Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.

Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.

“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”

Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.

“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”

Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.

“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”

Jimin nods knowingly.

“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”

Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze.

“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”

You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face.

“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”

Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”

Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.

You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.

Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light

speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.

“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.

Ouch.

You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.

“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”

Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest.

“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”

“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”

“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.

“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone.

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”

You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.

“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”

“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.

He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”

“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”

He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.

“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”

“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”

“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”

You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.

He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.

He can’t watch you run away from him again.

“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”

Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.

“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”

He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.

The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.

“Hi Kook.”

The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.

It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others.

Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.

Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.

“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.

The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.

“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”

He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.

“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”

He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park.

“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”

The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too.

“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”

He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.

The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.

“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”

The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.

The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.

“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”

The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth.

“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”

His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm.

He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.

“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.

Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.

The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.

It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.

It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing.

Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.

Maybe it was too late.

You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it.

“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”

“You should have brought a jacket.”

The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face down the intruder.

Jungkook.

He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.

He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.

“You came.”

He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.

“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.

“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”

He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.

“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.

“Every word.”

His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.

“Why did you run away?” Another step.

You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.

“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”

One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck.

“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”

All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes.

“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently.

“And I promise to never run away from you again.”

Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself.

“I would like it if you would.”

As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again.

“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with.

“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing.

“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”

Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss.

Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.

“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours.

“You’re such a little smartass.”

His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly.

He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed.

“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?”

You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement.

“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.”

Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited.

“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs.

His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes.

“Feels pretty real, huh?”

“Y-yeah.”

Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more.

“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.”

Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable.

One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan.

“How about this? Not a dream?”

He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water.

“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”

You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently.

“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue.

“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue.

You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets.

“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”

He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully.

“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.”

He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body).

Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are.

“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”

Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down.

“Still dreaming?”

He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire.

“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.

You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes.

“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”

Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”

His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout.

His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.

“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?”

His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug.

Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing.

“I plan to find out everything.”

Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.

“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.”

He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss.

He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you.

“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.”

Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body.

He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.

He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands.

“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.”

His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation.

“You’re so pretty. So perfect.”

He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.

His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.

One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.

“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”

His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.

“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.

“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”

Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.

“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”

He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.

“And I need you, my love.”

“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”

Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.

“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off.

He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.

After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air.

“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”

You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.

“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”

He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”

“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”

He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”

A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.

“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”

Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”

You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.

“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”

Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.

“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”

“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”

Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.

“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”

Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.

“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”

He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.

“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”

You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.

“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt.

He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.

“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”

The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation.

“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”

A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.

He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.

“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”

With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”

You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”

His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion.

He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.

Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.

After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.

“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”

You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.

“All yours.”

“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship.

You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.

You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.

“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”

Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.

“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”

Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”

Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister.

You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.

“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.

“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”

Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.

Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.

“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”

You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.

“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”

Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.

“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”

You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.

“Sure, Kookie.”

He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”

Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”

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