#sure hope no monsters are in this room rn :D! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jiminrings · 4 years ago

Note

yES vball coach jk pls about their first fight as a couple?? maybe??

mvp: first fight

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: jungkook is more on the oblivious sLASH insensitive side, y/n’s outlet is hurling volleyballs against the wall, and yoongi just wants to cheer everyone up with his mascot suit :D

notes: another coach koo drabble because i am unhinged <3

read mvp, the piece that started off y/n and koo!! + in which jungkook is extra clingy

you’re rEALLY used to jungkook being affectionate and clingy

no surprise really

he’s practically attached to you by the hip atleast in four out of the seven days in the week

but there’s something

just sOmething different with the way he’s hugging you from behind right now

and the trail of kisses from your shoulder to your jaw is gentle and nOt playful

almost as if he’s done something wrong and he’s making up for it

aha

....... aha ........?

“did you accidentally drop one of my succulents more than a hundred feet down again?”

jungkook doesn’t even tense up at that and you take it as a signal that he didn’t

gOOD because you are running out of lil succulents and jimin’s running out of name ideas for the lil guys

your boyfriend only huffs and frowns because for the last time he did not sabotage mr. prick !!! he was in the balcony holding him out in the sun when a giAnt dove suddenly flew to him and that’s when he panicked

“did you eat jimin’s special pasta and you’re now asking me for immunity?”

“no but thank you for letting me know”

ok that’s it

you break free from his back hug and face jungkook with an inquiring look and he shrinks at the thought of what he’s gonna say next

“then tell me what’s going on, koo.”

“it’s- uhm,” jungkook turns you around again and rests his chin on your shoulder because he’d rather not see your reaction

he knows you’re probably gonna give him the most pleading puppy dog eyes and maybe he’d cave right then and there with nO questions asked

“you know our date by the end of this week?”

“yeah!! oh my god i’m sO excited-“ you immediately gush because actually things have been so busy for the both of you and this is the perfect chance for relieving stress bUt-

“oh.”

“have to drive upstate for this workshop for coaches, baby. it’s something new for us before the season starts and uH well it’s gonna last for three days.,.,.”

three days

that’s cool :D

the season is about to start and so the pressure is on if your team could make this a back-to-back win :D

of course practice is hArd as it should be just so everyone’s on their toes as skilled and as in shape one could be

the heat is SIZZLING in this kitchen

there’s no time for slacking around

frankly, date night fell onto one of the only days that there’s gonna be a break in your team’s schedule :)))

not that it mATTERS or anything like that

you’re also pressured because your comeback after ur iconic injury that was televised made you even mOre highly-anticipated

you’re gonna bREAK one of these days ur very sure of it

“it’s okay, jungkook. it’s out of my reach anyways :))”

uGh what did he do to deserve such a precious understanding thing like you are

you’ve guess you gotten a tad bit better in your acting skills then because your boyfriend doesn’t suspect a single tHing

all ur monitoring and taehyung forcing you to watch and critique him as he practices for his auditions is paying off!!

“tae i think we both know that i’m nOt qualified to give you acting pointers!!”

“which is eXACTLY my point!! that’s why i called up my most clueless and unwilling friend ever!!! because if it’s good enough for a no-brained then it would be the bEST for people with-...”

“ok that was rude :((“

he kissed your cheek as an apology and promised to dine out with you for honey-glazed chicken and sUddenly you’re not plotting to hit tae with a volleyball to the head “accidentally” during practice tomorrow <3

but unlike taehyung, jungkook can’t fix it up with a single kiss to the cheek

you can’t help but feel upset ok it’s in your nature!!

your momentum’s deflated and the little itty bitty hope that you and jungkook can be there for each other is now cRUSHED

“i’ll miss you.”

jungkook’s heart whooshes at the feeling of you hugging him just sO dearly that he’s very tempted to just ditch this

him hugging you back with the same intesity doesn’t make it better because rn you’re mumbling to his chest

“i’ll miss you mORE :((“

ok even jimin’s gonna miss kook

his heart also goes out for you because he knows you’re beyond stressed with your comeback and all that

jimin saw you eating cereal one morning when kook wasn’t by your side because he was over at his oWN apartment

can u believe it,,, jungkook having his own apartment yet mOST of the time he stays over and even eats jimin’s stock of cold marshmallows by the fridge <3

anyways u were eating cereal and then suddenly jimin was practically alerted awake when you mumbled out of nowhere

“do you think i could serve a float as good as this cereal does?”

that was clearly a red flag that you ventured too far out into your spiral of worry because fIRST of all

yeah you do love volleyball of course!!!

but often it’s nice that not every second you spend revolves around it y’know

if your practice is done and your games are over that’s it nO more talking about volleyball pls

you could manage with the occasional praising for each other’s play over meals and rides and all that

but you don’t want anything more because it’s just can we please talk about things other than volleyball PLEASE

at the start you thought it would be difficult because well :D you are living with your best friend that happens to be your assistant coach :D

but surprisingly it was easy!! jimin shared those exact same thoughts and your flow of conversation (that doesn’t include your athleticism nor profession) is endless at this point

even became easier because now your boyfriend is the coach and he’s practically living with you

that startled jimin because you hATE talking about volleyball so early in the morning and especially over breakfast

but here you were...

talking about your damn floats just from looking in too much at your cereal

“hey, it’s okay!! we’ll get you through these three days just fine!!”

jimin hugs you as soon as jungkook takes off because he can’t have you dwelling and moping now can he

you’re just mumbling in defenseless against his chest because you obviOusly can’t do anything about it

you were tempted to pluck out his wallet just so he’d get back for it but jimin was looking at you from across the room

you were at the planning stage and jimin’s aLREADY at the scolding stage

three days!!! just three ridiculously-pressured, nerve-wracking, mind-boggling days!!

how hard could it be??

aha

spoiler alert: it is immensely hard :D

you’re so nervous and jittery to the point yoongi was concerned with how much coffee you drank and that’s coming from hIM

then you told him you drank none and you swear he ceased functioning after that

jimin had to drag you out every twenty minutes because either you were being too gentle or being too harsh that he winces himself when you spike tOO hard

and that could only mean one thing

you’re on spiral number two

which means you are nOw inseparable from volleyball

by day two you were no longer moping about jungkook’s absence and his inherent ability to calm you down

no you are even bArely thinking about him :D

you now breathe speak exhale volleyball

y/n’s monster rage play kept appearing even when you’re just against the players in your own team and now they r getting cranky little by little

they serve and then you sLAM

jimin had to call out a break for you forcibly and even used his official I’m The Coach Don’t Complain voice on you that you hate :((

“now you’re getting TOO much into playing!!”

“i don’t get what you mean, minnie!! i’m perfectly fine!! hey, wanna split the shipping fee? i added these new sports bras and shorts to my cart, you should totally add what you want to my cart so tHAT way i won’t have to pay so much and-...”

okay time-out that’s cLEARLY a time-out for you

you’re now way too much into your thoughts and that calls for a group hug

you just need a distraction, that’s all!!

jimin had to drag you over so that the both of you could go a few floors down to yoongi and tae’s apartment for move night

and there’s them giving you the reigns because well you just wanted to feel like you have control aNd that you’re not completely losing it aha

taehyung gives the best sitting cuddles as he’s at the far-end of the couch and he’s perfectly drooped for you to feel secure

jungkook nORMALLY would be annoyed when tae gets a little too cuddly but aight it’s cool no worries!! he’s just... standing in for a pillow

speaking of jungkook

well to be honest he’s doing good!! yes he does miss you but not to the degree that yOU do because well he’s just oblivious like that

there were some drills that the coaches were the ones that needed to be the players and well :D let’s just say he killed that part tOO good

for the first time after a long time, jungkook took down notes

n o t e s

wow he’s going so far he really is a coach

he also got to reconnect with some of his friend and not to brag but maybe he IS the blueprint for being the player to the coach lol

there was a no-phones rule and he could only call you on his lunch breaks and when he’s about to sleep or when the bathrooms are all empty

“can’t wait to see you tomorrow, koo :((“

“why did you miss mE?? :D”

he’s still as insufferable as ever even when he’s in a different state and you’d have to keep your chuckles down or else jimin’s gonna confiscate your phone

there’s some raining in jungkook’s background and you wonder why it was sO heavy

aha actually kook had to go outside because signal wasn’t exactly the best inside hence the louder patter

not to be that cheesy but talking to him just relieves you of your stress and it makes you pout because okay you’ll see him tOmorrow!!

“more than you know.”

cool

there’s uh

there’s a tiny hitch

well jungkook was supposed to come tonight and well he ISN’T here

you’ve tried calling him and even got yoongi help you out by texting him and jungkook doesn’t even dare to try and ignore his hyung’s texts

now you’re in panic because wHY exactly didn’t he come home??

and there’s all these worst-case scenarios running through your head but that’s when he sends you a text late in the morning that woke you up

“sorry!! the organizers needed me to stay late. i’ll see you tomorrow :))”

that wasn’t exactly right

and uH jungkook wasn’t exactly telling the truth

it’s just a minor white lie he needed to say for you to not worry!!!

uhm so

well it was raining cats and dogs right??

IT WAS FLOODING

and jungkook didn’t want to risk cooky (that’s what he named his car do nOT question him) breaking down with all the water and the pressure so he’s uh

he’s not coming home tonight

lisa noticed his struggle right when they walked out of the complex and she offered generously

“jungkook!! do you wanna sleep over at my place tonight? i live pretty near anyway. i’ll drive you over to your car in the morning!!”

wow

she’s so kind and considerate!!! :D great idea lisa thank u very much

they even had ramen together and watched some netflix, kook just slept in the guest room, woke up, and the next day lisa drove him to his car and that’s it!!

he’s back to you easy-peasy and you gave him the tightest hug ever

that’s where the problem lies though

because jungkook didn’t tell you and you don’t know the truth either

which is why yoongi is in your apartment and has been looking at you for the past five minutes while he’s unmoved on your couch

jungkook was over to their apartment to help taehyung with his PC build and yoongi is here aPPARENTLY to just have some snacks with you

that doesn’t seem to be the case because he’s lost in his thought and is fidgeting and??? he doesn’t normally fidget when you’re making him a grilled cheese sandwich lol

“why did jungkook come home a day later than he was supposed to?”

what now

the workshop was long done by a week now and you’re lost at wHy yoongi is asking this now

“oh! he said the organizers needed him to stay later. you know how jungkook’s a bit famous with them, yoongs”

yoongi flatlines at that because uh

that’s w eird

oh god how is he gonna tell you this

yoongi just pulls out his phone with an all-telling screenshot and he’s preparing himself to deal with whatever reaction you give him

it’s a story, actually

harmless if you think about it

and the username and whom it belongs to is sO familiar

not to mention the more than familiar tattooed hand holding the chopsticks to sink into their bowl of ramen

.... oh

“yoongi?”

that is too soft for your tone

something so chilling that yoongi is hesitant to even answer you

“can you bring in jungkook for me?”

oh my gOd you don’t know how to feel

you’re trying to contain yourself because maybe you’ve just misunderstood the situation

althought it’s too fucking hard for your sake, because as far as you remember, jungkook’s ex-girlfriend ISN’T the organizer for this workshop

was it even a workshop in the first place

jungkook wouldn’t cheat on you!!!

... would he??

you’re practically trembling when you ask yoongi to send you the picture and he attempts to hug you and cradle for a bit but you just stay sTILL

“i didn’t tell you because i didn’t want you to worry about me”

now jungkook is a bit confused when yoongi told him to go back to the apartment, no questions asked

and you’re looking kind of rattled which is why he’s starting to get worried

“jungkook, i’m gonna worry of you regardless!! i can’t stop floods and it’s unavoidable but wHY didn’t you tell me?”

“tell you what?”

god you’re gonna pull your hair out

he’s still playing coy of how he didn’t sleep over at lisa’s and it’s irking you right underneath your skin

“that you slept over at your ex-girlfriend’s house and didn’t even tell me!!”

okay now that’s when jungkook ticks

he doesn’t see the problem with it

“what’s wrong with that?? it was flooding and i knew no one else!! a state of emergency, don’t you think?”

“nO jungkook i get that! but what i can’t get is why you needed to lie to me!! you could’ve told the truth and i would’ve understood better!”

ugh this is just sO pointless

he doesn’t really wanna argue with you right now over something that shouldn’t be argued about in the first place

“you’re overreacting, stop it.”

“oh yeah?? it’s okay with you if i go to a workshop by myself, and sleep over at my ex-boyfriend’s place, and not tell you???”

you’re trying your best to not cry then and there because you so badly want to stand by your point against jungkook

“of course,” he’s even more stubborn than you are and he only kisses his teeth as you ask him

“because unlike you, i’m not controlling!”

oh god

that’s when the line is drawn and you just can’t take it anymore

he’s so fired up that he huffs and walks out of the apartment while slamming the door harshly

...

....

things aren’t really going well

practice is still on even if jimin offered that you take a sick leave after hearing about what happened

you’re not gonna chicken out from practice just because jungkook’s gonna be there

plus it’s not like you haven’t ignored him before at practice

meanwhile jungkook is dYing on the inside because oh god he really screwed up big-time

his apartment is too spacious and too quiet and that just meant him regretting extra

this situation felt all too familiar

jungkook hates himself because he feels like he’s done nothing but to to just give you hurt :(((

it’s him going to the gym much earlier than usual and waiting by the door

it’s him trying to get your attention and you being set on tolerating none of it

he already did that last time

but tHIS time it’s with him as your boyfriend and maybe it hurts a little bit more

he hasn’t slept properly for god knows how long

(( actually it’s been just two days ))

you don’t try to contact him nor even think about him because as per his words, you’re controlling!!!

yoongi tries to assure you as much as you can that you aren’t

he’s the only one that could get to you because well he’s the one that took this up to you

and you avoid getting jimin into this because you feel like he’s tired with all this back and forth of trying to pick you up

oh god you aren’t a burden, right??

right???

pls say right

yoongi is admittedly not the best when it comes to comforting people but he is there and that’s what matters

even brought out the mascot suit to bring out a giggle or two

and he likes you better when you’re happy so he goes ham on trying to do those cartwheels he’s mastered

anything to put a smile on your face

he was about to do the backflip he did when you showcased your rage play and you had to physically stop him because nO i will not risk you getting a concussion just trying to make me happy

you can’t avoid each other for this long

sooner or later you need to talk about what happened and from then on could you do something about it

atleast jimin knows this much

and as hesitant as he is to let jungkook in again, he knows that this is for the better and that you’re both miserable (the other is much much worse and it isn’t you)

which is why jimin let the door open wordlessly before going on the lift to stay over at tae’s and yoongi’s for a few hours

or whenever you need him to come back

because jungkook’s right in front of you and you can’t even look at him in the eye

gOd there’s only so much you can do

“i’m sorry.”

that’s what makes it even worse though

because you’re the one who apologized first and fuck that just makes jungkook wince

he’s whimpering the moment he hears you and he’d be sobbing if only he didn’t desperately want to talk to you

“why are you apologizing when you’re not even the one at fault?”

it’s the added blow because fuck you are tOO good for him and he doesn’t deserve you :(((

“you’re not controlling. i was just being an insensitive boyfriend and a shitty one at that”

jungkook’s knees buckle and he’s kneeling right in front of you and it immediately gets you trying to lift him back up

the sight itself also makes you tear up a bit because you just wanna talk!! you don’t want him kneeling as if you’re a saint and all that :((

“i’ll — we’ll work through this, right?? i can — i can still m-make it up to you, right?”

jungkook’s looking up at you with the biggest and most pleading eyes you’ve ever seen and perhaps he was even scAred to ask the question,,, in fear that he’s only just convincing himself that he could

that makes his lip tremble again because the alternate outcome of your first fight absolutely ending your relationship is enOugh to shatter him to pieces

he’s about to bow his head again but this time you put your hands on his cheeks, making you look up at him as he tries to compose himself

“we’ll work it out.”

218 notes · View notes

patrick-hockstutter · 5 years ago

Note

If you decide to write bowers gang fan fiction again, could you do like a “bowers gang quarantine” basically what it be like being quarantined with them. I know it’s modern but like still

Y O we doin this right THE FUCK now. And I love the idea of doing this modern day! I actually got a modern Bowers Gang request ages ago that I always wanted to do but never got around to, so I’ll mix it in with this! (and maybe do it after this, who knows, quarantine got me feelin’ some type of way...)

Victor:

This boy is so easily stressed out that he’s in constant need of a soothing activity to keep his mind busy

So you immediately introduce him to the world of face masks and bubble baths

And it’s like this boy has t r a n s f o r m e d

He’s constantly just GLOWING

But he still needs to keep his brain busy, face mask on and ready to go

Victor is an Animal Crossing baby right now

If he goes anywhere, his turquoise switch lite is always in hand

Everything going on has got him so stressed out, so he focuses 100% on his island (which is fucking beautiful at this point)

He then convinces you to get the game and a coral switch lite, and you also get to the point where you can’t put it down

The two of you can be found laying in bed all day visiting each other's islands, filling up your museums, and paying off your loans to Nook

(wearing face masks)

When he’s not playing Animal Crossing, he’s channeling all his energy into his doodles

With some encouragement from you, he starts streaming his art on Twitch and surprisingly gets a pretty good following

You love seeing all the support he’s getting on social media but you juuuuuuust can’t help yourself...

So you post a picture of him laying in bed, playing Animal Crossing with a bright green face mask on and his hair pushed back on Instagram

He’s embarrassed at first, but it eventually gets turned into a relatable meme and he honestly is quite proud of that

It can now be seen as a custom emote for his Twitch subscribers

(and as your phone lock screen)

Belch:

Honestly couldn’t be happier to be on government mandated lockdown

(especially with you)

Belch is such a homebody so he is in complete bliss rn

The two of you spend most days snuggling, snacking, binging shows on Netflix and watching conspiracy theories on YouTube

Y’all watch so much tv at this point that you’ve actually moved the mattress into the living room and made it into a deluxe blanket fort

The two of you swore to start cooking more since you couldn’t go to restaurants anymore, but damn did Domino’s have some good ass coupons...

Long story short, you ordered pizzas more times than you’d care to admit

But whatever, self care, am I right???

Belch also used this time as an excuse to force you to learn about cars

He always said that if you were gonna drive one, you’d need to know how to fix it

You’d always figure out how to cute your way out of it, but not this time

There was n o e s c a p e

He taught you to change your tires, headlights, oil, brake pads, check all your fluids, the air filter, E V E R Y T H I N G

By the time Belch was done with you, you were basically ready to open up your own auto shop

But then it was straight back to the blanket fort

And although Belch was straight vibin’ in quarantine, god did he miss driving

So he would take you on these nice midnight drives

Sure, he would blast music as loud as he could, but it was so relaxing to look at the stars and the occasional deer that passed by

Henry:

Absolutely follows 0 of the rules at first

He’ll go to the grocery store if he damn well pleases whenever he damn well pleases

Even if he doesn’t need or want anything, the big ‘fuck you’ to government orders is enough for him

At first he just lounged around all day watching tv, but he finally started to get bored

So he started sneaking out of his house and into your bedroom despite the lockdown order

And as much as you wanted him with you, you refused to let him inside

You were a goody two shoes, what could you say? (but of course this is why Henry was drawn to you; he got off on tainting you any way he could)

So he persisted, but you could tell he was doing it mostly to be a jackass

Until one day he showed up looking like a lost puppy, so you caved

You were also a softie, what could you say?

Henry wouldn’t say it, but you knew the lockdown order had finally sunk in and he realized that he would have to be quarantined with his father

So you decided to be his safe haven (and his constant distraction)

You introduced him to your PS4 (he’d never had the luxury of having his own game system) and it opened up a whole new world for him

Games like Destiny and Red Dead Redemption really gave him an outlet and he especially loved that he could control what he did with his character in Red Dead

Which then led him to RPG games like Wolf Among Us and Until Dawn

The two of you would pull all nighters playing these games, constantly debating on which choice to make and how it would impact the story

And when you two weren’t playing games, the extra time quarantined together actually encouraged him to start opening up to you

So one minute the two of you might be swearing at a video game while the next you might be deep in conversation over a cozy cup of cocoa

Patrick:

You thought he was a nightmare before?

Well, I hope you’re prepared to handle him 24/7 for god knows how long

This boy is jumping off the fucking walls okay

And he can’t take it out on the Losers Club, so it has to come out somehow...

This motherfucker starts a prank channel on YouTube and decides that you are his target

Sometimes it’s as harmless as pretending he factory reset your iPhone

Sometimes it’s as infuriating as destroying your eyeshadow palettes and pressing sidewalk chalk into the pans

Sometimes it’s as terrifying as him chasing you around in a monster mask with a kitchen knife while you’re just trying to paint your damn nails

But no matter how pissed you get, he gives you that dumb stupid cute smirk you love to hate and kisses you, reminding you why you tolerate him in the first place

And as much as you think you can, you really can’t stay mad at him for long

Because when he isn’t devising more dubious schemes for internet views, he is alllllllll over you

Somehow being quarantined has amped up his testosterone an ungodly amount

And there’s only so much PornHub’s donated free subscriptions will take care of

But when all these fun and games finally come to a rest, Patrick is jumping off the walls in a completely different way

He has never had to be cooped up for so long, and his mental health disorders are really getting the best of him right now

It gets worse during the night, so you’ve started taking him out to stargaze to calm down

Afterwards, he finally starts to calm down and you actually get to spend some quality time with him

You’ve also found that puzzle games give him something to problem solve with rather than focus on his own labyrinth of a psyche

And in these moments the two of you can finally relax, listen to a creepy yet hilarious episode of Last Podcast On The Left, work on some sort of puzzle game, and enjoy some peace and fucking quiet for once

307 notes · View notes

masterofmagnetism · 4 years ago

Text

a prayer like a war cry

WHO: Erik Lehnsherr, Scott Summers @firstxman, Jean Grey-Summers @jeaniegreysummers, Maddie Pryor @rxdqueens, and Lorna Dane @mistressxfmagnetism WHERE: Genosha. Erik’s house and the missile silo. WHEN: 14 days after training with Jean and Lorna went sideways. WHAT:��Erik has a plan. The kids aren’t on board, this time. WARNINGS: Literally so many TWs. Major character death, abuse, alcoholism, addiction, plane crash mention, lots and lots of mentions of murder, fire, suicidal ideation, assorted mental health issues, grief, ptsd, manipulation, probably more that I can’t think to tag rn. Proceed! With! Caution! WORDS: 12k

ERIK: Lorna's pulse thumped steadily beneath his fingertips, her chest rising and falling shallowly on the bed. The wound to her chest was well-bound; the bandages that had been wrapped around her head for a few days had been removed since then. Erik had been careful to delicately clean the stitches on the back of her head every night since they were removed.

She never made a sound. She hadn't woken up since Ric carried her back from New York, no matter how much Erik talked to her. No matter how much he begged, or apologized.

He hadn't cried since the night he brought her back to his home from the hospital, since he managed to finagle the nurses into agreeing to come tend her here rather than in a hospital bed. The sterility of the hospital room made him queasy every time he visited; he'd never liked them, and Lorna hadn't either. She'd be happier waking up at home.

If she woke up.

The doctors had told him that she should. Not would, because there were some promises that just couldn't be made, but they'd sounded optimistic. Told him that she'd been through a lot. She needed time. Her body needed time. It made sense, he knew it made sense, but that didn't shake the tightness in his own chest, the fear that sat in his throat that another child was going to slip through his fingers and end up six feet under.

He had cried, after the nurses left for the night, after he'd gone through the checklist they gave him, and he had fallen asleep sitting against the side of the bed, fingers twisted in hers. And he'd fallen asleep praying. He didn't do that much, anymore, had learned along with the rest of his contemporaries during the War that g-d could not be relied on to intercede. The rabbis had tried to rationalize it afterwards, of course. In Israel, across Europe. They had come up with myriad reasons why His 'Chosen People' were left to be exterminated in the most horrific ways possible, tried to salvage their faith.

Erik had never found any of the excuses satisfactory, but that was the thing about faith, wasn’t it? Blind trust. Optimism. Hope. And he’d held onto it, or at least something like it, even as he decided that he would not wait for His hand to do anything for him that his own two hands could not, one way or another.

Lorna had been in His hands, and she was alive. Not awake, but alive, and that was something. That was more than he’d gotten for her sister. Lorna hadn’t died, and that meant something.

Her waking up would mean something, too, if Erik had anything to say about it. The idea of retaliation had been on his mind since she’d come back cold and almost dead, as Ric could attest to, but his thinking had evolved that first night. He had the means, nestled in their quickly-built silos on the coast. It’d be something swift, something clean, something that wouldn’t require anyone else to get their hands dirty as the siege had, something that wouldn’t run the risk of another Raven. It would, quite literally, be as easy as a push of the button. As easy as sitting on the coast watching the sun set behind New York, and clearing the buildings and people out of the way for the sun to shine unimpeded on Genosha.

He’d had a week to do it, and yet something had sat uneasy in his chest, something that screamed that it was as wrong as the way Lorna’s heart had stutter-stopped across the bay. There was another voice that was louder than that, too. ‘They deserve it. You’ve always known they do. Always known this would end only one way. You’ve tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, time and time and time again, and what do you have to show for it? Loss after loss after loss. Betrayal after betrayal after betrayal. The kids will understand, when it’s all over. Just like they did with the siege.’

That niggling feeling in the back of his mind had stilled his action, until now. Instead, for the first time in a long time, Erik had decided to put his next move in His hands, too.

If she wakes up, I won’t do it. If she wakes up, I will let this pass. Just let her wake up. Let her wake up.

He’d given it seven days, and Lorna’s eyes still hadn’t opened.

That was his answer, then. Erik closed his eyes, leaned forward in his chair to press Lorna’s knuckles against his forehead, letting out a slow breath through his nose and squeezing her hand.

Once more, he asked. And once more, she didn’t stir. Something steady and quiet and assured settled across his shoulders, and Erik pressed his lips to the back of Lorna’s hand before he pushed up to his feet. He set her arm gently on the bed, and brushed back a loose strand of her hair, fingers running along her cheek for just a moment.

She would wake when this was finished. He was sure of it.

Erik picked his helmet up from next to him and settled it over his head before stepping out of the room, closing the door silently behind him.

The walk to the silo building passed in the blink of an eye, and by the time Erik snapped back to himself, his hands were trailing along the shells of the missiles. He could feel the energy contained inside, a heady sensation up so close. His fingers were halfway to the first manual switch when he heard the door open behind him, and three sets of footsteps in the wake of the click. Erik’s lips thinned, and he turned, eyes almost fever-bright. “She hasn’t woken up.”

SCOTT: Erik was planning something.

Only a few months ago, the concept had been one that sparked hope in Scott’s chest, bright and hot and unfamiliar. Erik had had a plan then, and Scott had been on board. He’d been excited, he’d been ready. They had stormed the U.N., they had done what they needed to do. They had taken Erik’s plan and they had made a home of it. They had turned it into safety, into security, and for the first time in his life, Scott had been blessed with a warmth that didn’t slip through his fingers. Only a few months ago, Erik had been planning something and Scott had been behind him without hesitation.

But things were different now.

Rictor had been uncharacteristically quiet, the few times Scott had seen him around the island. He looked angrier than usual, which was saying something for Ric. He looked tense, looked over his shoulder at every turn like he was worried he might find someone he didn’t want to see standing there, and Scott knew who he was searching for. He knew that Rictor looked very much like he had looked at fourteen, with Jack looming over his shoulder and bruises hidden beneath his sweatshirt. Erik, Scott feared, had become exactly the sort of man he’d dedicated his life to fighting against. He’d become Jack Winters, become Nathaniel Essex, become Sebastian Shaw. He’d become the monster under the bed, the thing their people feared.

And Scott couldn’t let it go on any longer.

Erik would be glad for it, if he were himself. Scott knew that. Jean could attest to as much in the way she’d asked Zatanna to kill her back when she knew she’d gone too far, in the way she’d begged her family to stop her before she became the thing she desperately wanted not to be. When the people you loved turned to their own demons, when they became the vengeful spirit making the walls of their own homes drip blood, exorcism was a kindness. It was a necessity.

The Hendersons lived near the silos, and when Scott had asked them to let him know if Erik passed by their apartment, they hadn’t questioned the request. They trusted him. They asked if he was worried about Erik, looked concerned with the question. ’He’s so torn up over poor Lorna,’ Michelle had sighed, glancing mournfully out the window as if she could see Erik from there. Maybe she could --- he wasn’t sure about the limits on her ability to peer through solid surfaces. ’Hasn’t left the hospital much, from what I hear. If he’s out this way, I’ll let you know. We should all keep an eye on him together. A show of support.’ Scott had tasted bile in his throat when he’d nodded, had felt like a villain when he’d smiled. A show of support. It made his stomach clench.

He wished he were more surprised when, seven days after he’d stopped Erik from murdering Rictor in a hospital lobby, Michelle Henderson texted him with a grainy photo of Erik passing by her window with his hands in his pockets. ’He looks sad,’ was the accompanying message, and Scott tried to look hard enough to see the expression on Erik’s face in the photo, tried to determine if the set of his shoulders was grief or anger or determination or some combination of the three. Maddie and Jean were both in the kitchen when he exited the bedroom, twin expressions of grim determination on their faces. They knew what needed to be done here. They knew.

The trek to the silos was a silent one. Even their minds were quiet, like they were all terrified of thinking the thought, all nervous to be the one to put words to the act they were about to commit. None of them wanted to do it, Scott knew. None of them wanted to be here. But Erik was planning something, and the thought wasn’t supposed to fill them all with dread. It wasn’t supposed to make their blood run cold.

Erik didn’t seem surprised when they entered the silo building. It was almost like he’d been expecting them. The helmet on his head made the thought a much scarier one, the idea that he was actively hiding things from them instead of doing it passively enough to make Scott freeze in the doorway. Erik spoke, and he sounded like Winters, like Sinister. He sounded like a madman. Scott closed his eyes behind his visor, chest tight.

“She will,” he said, voice bouncing off the walls around them, echoing to fill the empty space. “Don’t you want to be there when she does? Go home, Erik. Don’t do this tonight.” Don’t do this at all. He couldn’t say it, couldn’t let Erik know that they weren’t on the same page anymore, that they hadn’t been for a while now. He told himself there was pleading left to be done. He told himself there was hope of saving this, of saving Erik. He told himself that, if Erik left this building without doing what he’d come here to do, it might mean there was hope.

He’d gotten good at lying to himself, over the years.

JEAN: When you loved someone, you ignored their worst parts. You adored them in spite of the characteristics and opinions you would hate in a stranger, that would drive you to war with an enemy. Jean ignored Scott’s tendency towards violence (the hypocrisy of that uncomfortable stone in her stomach wasn’t lost on her, either. She was capable of ripping the world apart just as often). She ignored the fact that Maddie was fashioned from fibres of the Phoenix, delivered to her doorstep as a manifestation of best intentions. She ignored how Erik walked out that door, leaving her with tear tracks running down her face and worlds they’d created crashing around her, ignored the years they’d been on opposite sides of battles.

(It went both ways, Jean knew. Kara ignored her tendency to run from problems, to box them firmly in specified areas of her brain to think about sometime close to never. Scott ignored the fact that Jean was, as she was slowly coming to admit, absolutely fucking insane. The X-Men ignored Jean burning to ashes on the front lawn of the home that was supposed to represent safety and comfort, ignored that she brought a vicious, angry entity into their lives through nothing but ignorance and naivety and a desperate clutch towards being unafraid.)

She had to make it convincing. Erik would see through her in an instant. He’d tracked her expressions since she was little more than ten years old. He knew her inside and out, knew her better than most, knew her angry and vengeful as much as he did happy and, on rare occasions, calm. He knew her -- and that meant it had to be believable. She had to be warm, had to be compassionate, had to be Jean Grey.

And that meant ignoring it. It meant remembering why she’d adored him so thoroughly. It meant putting this cold rage into a box, and bringing the flickering fire back into front and centre.

It meant flicking through photo albums, seeing the letters he wrote her as a child, reading through books they’d enjoyed. It meant practising what he’d told her, exploring her powers and feeling proud to be a mutant for the first time, not feeling as if she was passing for anything other than what she was, totally in tune with the world around her. It meant looking at Lorna, feeling that desperate pull in her chest, and remembering that this girl who she loved so completely was half of him, so at least fifty percent must be worth taking another breath.

It meant telling herself she wasn’t the monster she was becoming, that she would shed a tear when he was dead. In the back of her mind, Jean simply resented the fact that she wasn’t the one to deliver the final blow -- but she had to make it believable. She had to be his friend, his daughter. She had to be another half of him out there in the world.

Did Maddie know what they were going into? Did she know why they moved under the cover of darkness, why Jean asked her to mask their movements from the other citizens and even those they considered family? Had Scott told her -- had they talked in the kitchen when Jean was pretending to sleep, staring at the ceiling and counting how many days until she killed another piece of her own soul? Did she know, or was she following them out of love, because when you adored someone you ignored their murderous inclinations?

(It was almost funny. It was almost ironic. The Phoenix was flickering, and if she wanted this to stop, she would’ve told Erik. She might’ve already. She might have been manipulating them all, just waiting for them to get together and laugh at the cataclysmic explosion that was sure to follow. The Phoenix was life itself -- she knew what was about to happen, and she let it happen anyway. The true manifestation of evil, Jean thought to herself. All those things you ignored because you loved me, the Phoenix provided. Jean pretended it was her own mind.)

She’d been quiet with him. Nothing explosive like usual -- no arguments that led to raised voices and smashed plates. He would know she had shifted, know she had changed, but there were other things she could blame it on, other griefs. Her family were dead. He was the closest to a father she had left. She was simply protecting her own heart, or scared that she would lose someone else close -- it was a matter of preserving his life, worried for what the Shi’ar would do when they saw what he meant to her.

Any number of arguments came to mind, but Jean didn’t go for any of them. Her hand slipped out of Maddie’s (she’d held it on the way without realising, without noticing the pulling need to share her energy in that moment). Instead she stepped forward, Scott’s words still ringing in the silence between them, and reached her hand for Erik’s.

“Talk to me,” she said, voice thin (she was desperately holding it in. She wanted to scream how could you? She wanted to crack the Earth beneath him. She wanted to say Lorna was hurt because of him -- but they were both guilty of so much, the words got caught almost naturally in her throat). “We can talk with words, or we can talk in our minds. We can do anything you want, Erik, but don’t do it alone.” Her composure cracked, but it made it sound more like a plea than a threat. “Don’t block me out, please. I can’t lose someone else.”

MADDIE: There was a point when someone was faced with a decision, a scarily huge one, and were at a crossroads. Which path to take, the unknowns daunting over either option making it that much harder to make a choice. Then there were times where the decision was made for you, something so impactful it shoves you down the pathway before you can even try to think what pros and cons the other pathway brings you. Scott, Jean, and Maddie had been pushed down this path and were racing down it at a fast speed, slowing down enough to mask what impact was incoming for Erik. It had felt like since the incident at Jean’s family home they had been hurtling down a path that was set for them, dominoes falling and setting off a chain of events that fate had in mind for them, no matter how painful.

Initially, Maddie hadn’t even been aware of the plan. Her mind whirling over her own struggles with where exactly she fit into everything. There were no photos in Jean’s family home of her, it was like she was a ghost. Someone who passed through the unseen to walk among those who were tangible. It scared her, left her with entirely too many questions rather than answers. Naturally, she shoved these worries far away from the reach of Jean. Jean could find them if she dug, went searching, but Maddie knew she wouldn’t. Not unless she gave her a reason to, so she had to keep silent. Scott approaching her while Maddie took to having tea on a sleepless night was easy enough to focus on instead.

It was almost too easy to agree, to simply nod and ask when they were to move forward, to sit on standy for the inevitable. It had to be done, Maddie wondered what it said about her to be so willing to go along with a murderous plan without so much of a flinch.

(Did sinister feelings already exist in her and were simply waiting for the excuse to finally seep out like a poison to infect her? Was it really sinister if she was doing this and it was ultimately for the best? When did she start rationalizing the lack of feeling truly anything but understanding to a murder?)

The day came, the air changed in the kitchen upon Scott entering. A grim realization dawned that there was stepping out now, no backing down. The voice in the back of her mind was silent, too silent, she didn’t know if that was a good thing. It felt ominous in itself as Maddie cloaked their movements through the night, undetected to anyone and everyone, even those she wouldn’t normally. Those she loved, but Erik was among those, the ones she loved and despite the rationalizing of it all there was a quiet ache in her chest along the fire that normally simmered there. Her fingers curled around her sister’s, grounding her as much as she was sure it was doing for the other as well. There was no going back.

Maddie wasn’t sure if the cold seeping down to her bones was from the silo or the ice that was breaching the canyon between Erik and the three of them. Her tongue bled from how hard she bit it, keeping in far too many words that threatened to flow. Not now. (She wasn’t even sure if she had a right to say them. A new addition to the family, sliding in like she had always belonged, but entirely unsure if she belonged. After all, what did it say that everyone, Erik included, initially thought her to be Jean?) .

“We’re not going to leave you alone,” Maddie finally spoke, in space of the angry words that were a threat to bleed into her tone despite her masking it all. “She’ll wake up, because she will wake up, and will want you firstmost. This can wait.” Her tone was careful, even as she could manage.

Looking at Jean, Maddie’s frown was genuine. There was a flash of the way her sister crumbled as she saw her parents lying far too still before the house was set aflame by Derry. It had stayed with her and was sure it would for a very long time. The grief had been palpable, an ache that could be felt even after they had left the home. The only difference in this moment they were all grieving for the living, for the person before them.

ERIK: When you lived your whole life on a precipice, that looming drop became something familiar, something that settled in your blood, in your bones. Mind your step, always, and Erik did. He had survived where countless others hadn’t, instincts always on, always making sure his footsteps were sure, always ready to fight off anything that might knock him off balance.

Here, in a room with three of his four living children, Erik felt for the first time in a long time like the ground wasn’t quite steady under his feet.

It was hard to put a finger on what, exactly, the problem was—perhaps Scott’s pause in the doorway, perhaps the way Jean was suddenly in his arms after two weeks of avoidance, perhaps the way Maddie held her tongue and sounded calm in a way he’d rarely seen from her.

Individually, excusable.

Together? That creep of unease that had him put on the helmet before he left coiled itself around his spine, wound down to where Jean had taken his hands.

For all their fights, he’d never killed one of the X-Men. Not because he couldn’t; he had a mental file of the known powerset of whatever the current roster was, all the ways to get to them if need be. Not because of Charles, either—if the man saw fit to send children to fight him, well, he should be damned ready to face the consequences. Not because they were children; Erik had first taken a life (had taken three) when he was fourteen years old. No, Erik hadn’t held back on principle.

Erik had held back for Jean, who loved her team as much as she loved him.

Jean was in his arms, asking him to talk to her after two weeks of the silent treatment, taking his hands after avoiding his presence for just as long, and Erik knew something was wrong, even as badly as he wanted to believe it. Self-deception was an easy trap to fall into, for the ones you loved.

One he’d already fallen into. That was why he was here, after all. To fix what weakness had wrought him.

He couldn’t let them stop him. But maybe, maybe, he could make them understand what was so crystal clear in his mind, now.

(Charles had told him once that there was something clean to the way his mind handled plans. Setting them up involved a tangle of ideas, red strings on pinboards, but once they were finalized? It was something crisp, pure. A silver thread from problem to solution. This one had been there for a long time, behind locked doors. Had been there since that day Charles had found out Shaw’s plans from Emma and looked so horrified while Erik had quietly weighed its odds of success.)

“I know she’ll wake up,” Erik said, glancing between Scott and Maddie. “I know. But not now. Not until I do what I should’ve done a long time ago.” Alone, or with his family at his side, it would be done. “It’s been seven days. This is what needs to happen.”

And if they get in your way….

“You were right about Ric, Scott. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on him. He did what he knows how to do. He tried to help with her anger the same way I would have, and he saved her life by bringing her back here. Killing all those men. My anger should never have been leveled at him. No, it’s the people who pulled the trigger who are the problem. The humans.”

Erik’s fingers wrapped tightly around Jean’s hands, and his expression was determined but earnest. He could convince her. Needed to convince her. “It’s been long enough, hasn’t it? I’ve tried, again and again and again, to give them the benefit of the doubt. For your sake. And every time, we lose someone else. Anya, you, Scott, Raven. How many more of us need to die? Lorna is pulling through this time, but what about next time? If it’s Maddie? If it’s your daughter?” he said, gaze flicking from Jean’s gaze to Scott’s. “Because it will be Rachel, eventually. It’ll be all of us.”

That much was clear, now. So clear, he wondered how he hadn’t seen it before, how he’d settled for the siege when there was so much more to be done. “This island is a target on our backs. Why should we huddle here, waiting for the inevitable to happen? Why should we settle for this little spit of land when we could have more, when we deserve more? What is this, really? A glorified containment cell, one they will grow weary of sooner or later.”

No, his children deserved the world. And they would have it, even if it meant taking it on their behalf.

Erik’s hands in Jean’s pulled her close, twisted just slightly so that she was between him and Scott as he wrapped her in an embrace, pressed his lips to her hair.

He loved them, but he didn’t trust them.

Jean’s weakness was Scott, and Scott’s weakness was Jean, as it had been since they were teenagers. Scott might be willing to risk bystanders in a hospital, but he would never risk his wife.

The switches on the missiles flipped to ‘on,’ coordinate screens lighting up at once.

“You told me that the Phoenix shows you the truth, Jean,” he murmured against the top of her head. “This is the truth. One I’ve tried very hard to ignore for a very long time. Do you remember what I showed you of Cuba?” The reactor room. I'd like you to know that I agree with every word you said. We are the future.

“I tried the other ways, for you. But it’s time to stop lying to ourselves, schatzi. It was always going to go this way. If you don’t want to help me, go home. Let me take care of this the way I should have long ago.”

SCOTT: Jean told him once, in the cold chill of winter, that the Phoenix took everything you had and made it bigger. It amplified all the things you were, all the things you felt. For me, she’d said, the Phoenix found expression through my emotions. It made them so huge that there was no room under the sky for my joy, my grief, my love for you. When he opened his eyes in that graveyard, when he stood in front of his tombstone and realized the burning in his chest was more than just the restarting of his heart, he’d waited for it. He’d spent days with bated breath, waiting for the Phoenix to amplify his emotions the way they amplified Jean’s, waiting to feel everything so big that there was no room left for anything else.

It never came.

Instead of an onslaught of emotion, instead of joy and grief and love too large to ever be contained, Scott felt empty. He felt nothing. And it wasn’t just for current events, wasn’t just for the things as they happened in real time --- Scott felt nothing so intensely that he could hardly remember ever having felt anything at all. If he had, if he had felt the things he’d been through with the same intensity as he was meant to, he wouldn’t have been able to stomach what they did to Derry at all. It made him uneasy now, made him uncomfortable, but if he were himself? Scott would have fought harder against it. He would have refused to let it come to be. If Scott felt everything instead of nothing, it would be better. It would be preferable.

(He thought of his mother. He thought of the locked door, of the blackout curtains over her bedroom window, of the way she got out of bed so rarely that there were days Scott did everything for Alex, changed his diapers and warmed his bottles and put him to bed. He thought of how depression was often synonymous with numbness. He thought of how he’d spent so much of his childhood longing to become his father, of how he might have become his mother instead, of how neither option was a good one in the end. He thought of how this, too, should make him feel something, and of how it didn’t.)

Of course, there were some situations where the numbness was useful. Right now, standing in this room with the silos and controls laid out in front of them, Scott saw how it could be used as an advantage. The old Scott Summers, the one who existed with no spark of the Phoenix in his soul, wouldn’t have been able to do what he planned to do here. Even when Erik was his enemy, that version of Scott could never shoot to kill. He kept his blasts controlled. He kept himself from unleashing his full potential. He kept Erik alive. And maybe, in the end, this made the entire situation his own fault. Maybe if that old version of Scott had done what needed to be done ten years ago, he wouldn’t be faced with this now.

But the past was the past. Scott hadn’t been strong enough to do what needed to be done then, but he was now. He was. He would do what he always did, what he had done since he was sixteen years old --- what was best for his people. And what was best for his people, today, meant getting rid of one of them. For the greater good. If Erik were in his right mind, he’d understand that.

Jean’s voice was soft, was gentle, was an act. They knew what they had come here to do. They knew talking was not the end goal. As much as Scott wanted Erik to come out and agree with them, he doubted that would be the end result. Magneto had always been steadfast in his beliefs, always had a mind impossible to change. (Mr. Sinister wouldn’t have been able to shape it, to mold it as he had Scott’s. If Scott were more like Erik-) Even Charles couldn’t manage it, with their history. Even Jean didn’t stand a chance. This, Scott knew, eliminated any shot he might have had. Maddie spoke next, tones a twin lie standing side by side with Jean’s, hand-in-hand. They were good actors, the two of them. Scott almost believed they had some intention of letting Erik redeem himself.

And then it was Erik’s voice, flat and steady and determined. He looked to Scott, he said you were right, and for a moment, the dull, emotionless version of hope sparked in his chest. But then Erik kept talking. He continued, he went on about what needed to be done, and it was too late. It had been too late for a long time now.

In the back of his mind, the Phoenix whispered. ’Maybe he’s right,’ the bird said. ’Maybe this is the only way. It would be easier, wouldn’t it? It would be simpler.’ And Scott shut his eyes behind his visor, drew a breath. He thought of Jean. Of how she looked at him on their wedding day, fingers intertwined with his. Of Colleen out in the chairs spread in the grass, grinning. Of Cassie, the way her hair tangled into hopeless knots when she fell asleep on their sofa. Of Zatanna and the horrible favor she’d done for Jean, saving her and ending her all at once. Of Kara when she’d landed behind him in Genosha, of the pain in her voice that he’d ignored because it wasn’t a convenient thing for him to notice. If Erik did what he wanted to do, they would all be caught in the crossfire.

If Scott let Erik do what he wanted to do, his daughter would never look him in the eyes again.

It was Rachel’s name that tore his eyes open, Rachel’s name that settled like determination in his chest. Rachel thought highly of him. She thought he was a hero. If he let the Phoenix convince him that Erik was right the same way he had let it convince him that Derry’s memories needed to fade, she would change her mind. Erik brought up Scott’s daughter in hopes of swaying him one way, but her name pushed him in the other direction. If Scott Summers had ever been a good man, it was only for the people he loved. If Scott Summers had ever been a hero, it was only thanks to his desperation to live up to their expectations. Loving them was what made him decent. Nothing else ever really came close.

Erik knew what they were here to do. Scott had no doubt. It was why he’d shifted Jean, why he’d placed her strategically between them. It was why his tone sounded as close to begging as Scott had ever heard it. He wasn’t begging for his own life --- he wasn’t begging to be allowed to live. He was begging to be allowed to destroy. Maybe that said the only thing worth saying in this entire ordeal. Maybe the truth came not in the words, but in the implications between them.

Do you remember what I showed you of Cuba? The words were meant for Jean, but Scott felt them too. He understood, remembered Jean sharing it with him. He understood what it meant.

He understood that it was too late.

“We won’t be a part of this,” he said flatly. “Jean, let’s go home.” And he reached out across the bond, touched his mind to hers. When you step away from him, he said, I’ll do it. Be ready to contain the blast. I’m going to take out the controls along with him. No one finishes what he started.

(He didn’t say what he feared --- that, if the controls were left untarnished, the one who was in the most danger of deciding to finish what Erik had started was him.)

JEAN: History repeated itself. It was a lesson that Jean learned a long time ago, perhaps sometime around the thirtieth battle between X-Men and Brotherhood. No matter what they did, no matter how they fought or what they sacrificed, the world would treat them just the same. No matter how long it had been, no matter how many Christmases she arrived on the doorstep and felt like a stranger, the Greys would never be a home like the Institute became — like the Institute had been with both of them in those offices.

If Charles was here now, would he say Jean had failed to learn from his mistakes? Would he say this felt like Cuba, like a moment where metal was flying for a beach and then into a spine? Would he tell the story with the same regret as had flooded through Jean’s mind when Erik showed her the memory — and would there be the same determination as there was with Erik, the same certainty that if the situation was repeated, he would make the same choices?

Erik had been right, of course. Sebastian Shaw deserved a coin through his head more than almost anyone else Jean had ever met — the exception being Jack Winters. It was all in the execution. It was all in the not knowing when to stop, all in Erik pushing it just that little bit too far.

Then again, couldn’t the same be said of Jean herself?

Of course, Jean knew that already. Jean knew that, and she put a contingency plan in place. She called Zatanna to her home, befriended her, trusted her, made Zatanna trust in her — and then she asked a veritable stranger to kill her, believing that she would if push came to shove. Better to lose a single life than to destroy a world. Erik would think with the same pragmatism, if he wasn’t the one being killed.

But he was. He was, and the cool tone of his voice, the way his grip tightened only slightly, the drop in his words as he spoke — Jean almost could’ve sworn he knew it would happen. She was almost positive that it was like that moment out on the lawn right before she took her final breath, when she was capable of fighting back but didn’t, because something deep down inside of her said, this needs to happen. This always needed to happen. Erik would want this.

Erik would want this, and with Lorna and Kara fresh in her mind, Jean very much wanted this too. The darkest parts of her had raised their ugly heads, and Maddie could hear them, she knew. Maddie could feel them long before they clasped hands.

And Scott could feel it too.

We can help you, Jean told Scott, letting the thought bleed through to Maddie’s psyche at the same time. We can sharpen you. I’ve been training — I can give us all the roadmap to make us stronger.

To unlock their true potential. To destroy as they were intended to destroy. To put Erik’s hours of teaching to good use. Almost ironic. Almost tragic.

Jean wished she could feel anything but anger.

She lifted her hand, pulling back only slightly to touch against Erik’s cheek. “I really do love you,” she said, “but I can’t love this.”

Now.

A step back, and Jean closed her eyes, focusing everything on that burning core at the forefront of Scott’s mind, the flames he’d always tried to contain.

SCOTT: Ever since he was young, Scott had learned to hide pieces of himself. It was something that started in his parents’ house, when his father was a retreating back and his mother was a locked door and he had learned to push down the parts of him that needed things in order to make himself easier to love. This tendency grew as he did, and he began burying more and more of himself. When he was trying to impress prospective adoptive parents, he was a chameleon. A woman wearing a cross necklace approached him holding the hand of a man in a suit and Scott found religion in the time it took them to cross the room, spoke of church as if it were a place he had been more than once in order to make himself wanted. A man with glasses and a collared shirt who Essex told him was a teacher saw him carefully reading library books and trying to look intelligent. Every person who walked through the orphanage door met a different version of Scott Summers, and they all left him just the same.

It became natural, of course, to hide his mutation as best he could when it came along, too. At first, when it was just headaches and the occasional blackout that he later discovered were due to Sinister’s experiments, this was simple. Scott could go into his bedroom and lock the door, could throw the blanket over his head and turn out the lights. The other kids thought he was weird, but only in the way kids always thought each other odd. Only in the way schoolyard bullies teased about. It wasn’t until he took out a wall that they realized there was something dangerous there, wasn’t until he was fitted with ruby quartz glasses that hiding became harder. But he tried. Lord, did he try. He pretended the glasses were a fashion choice, prayed for sunny days so he wouldn’t look different, used them as a mask to hide more and more of himself. His powers, he had learned in the beginning, were a part of him, too. And the glasses hid that. It was a familiar sort of comfort.

But now… Now, the person he loved most in the world was telling him to stop hiding. The person he loved so much that she had taught him what love was to begin with was telling him to let go, to open his eyes and let that piece of himself free. And there would be consequences. There were always consequences, when the truth came out. His parents grew more distant when they realized he was a child, full of wants and needs and a selfish desire to be loved. Those families who might have adopted him lost all interest when he dropped the act, even if only for a second. The other kids at the orphanage started treating him more like a bomb than a person when the walls came down. And if he took off his glasses...

If he took off his glasses, Erik would die. Scott knew this. Scott had known this since the beginning, since the three of them headed here, since before that. If he took off his glasses, there would be broken controls and a body and if there was anything left of his soul, that would be done away with, too. War made everyone a murderer in the end, but Scott had never imagined it would lead him here. If he took off his glasses, he would be killing someone he loved more than anything.

And saving the rest.

Life was full of terrible choices. It was full of plane crashes where there were four people and one parachute, full of mothers putting that salvation on their childrens’ backs and pushing them out of planes with their baby brothers in their arms and firm instructions not to let go. It was full of scientists who wanted to pick you apart but swore they loved you while they were doing it. It was full of men who found you in the streets and beat you, who told you to be grateful for their fists bruising your ribs because at least it meant someone cared enough about you to make contact. It was full of silos with bombs tucked safely inside and people you loved standing at the controls. It was full of the woman you loved begging you without words to kill her father, full of knowing she might hate you when it was over. If Scott killed Erik, he’d never forgive himself. If he didn’t, he’d hate himself just the same.

Glancing to Jean, Scott set his jaw before looking back to Erik. They locked eyes, even if only for a moment. Neither of them had the telepathy Jean or Maddie boasted and, even if they had, Erik’s helmet would have prevented any kind of connection. Scott offered a silent apology all the same.

The glasses came off. The world was red.

The world was always red.

ERIK: Death wasn’t something that was ever far from Erik’s mind.

The how of it had always been up in the air. When he’d been a child, he’d been certain it’d come at the guns of the Schutzstaffel, or in one of the many arsons that plagued Jewish neighborhoods. He’d thought it might come at the end of Shaw’s pistol, as it had for his mother, or under the man’s knife while he was strapped down for another experiment. Maybe it would come in a workplace accident at the manufacturing plant. Perhaps it would reach him while he was lapping the globe meting out his revenge on ex-Nazis. Or with Sebastian Shaw’s hand around his throat in the reactor room. Or with a bullet he was too slow to stop on a beach a thousand miles from home. Of late, he’d considered that it might come at the hands of the humans, and he’d been prepared despite best-laid plans to die for his people during the siege if that was what it took.

He’d die fighting, though. Always.

(Almost always. There’s another way, one that creeps on him on the bad nights, when alcohol and nicotine and sex or adrenaline aren’t enough to keep the worst thoughts at bay. He wouldn’t die naturally, he’d discovered decades ago when his aging had slowed to nothing more than the scarcest crawl; no, his death, like most of the defining events of his life, was going to be something traumatic. Unless.)

Erik was a survivor, even when those he cared for didn’t make it along with him.

That didn’t mean death was ever very far from reach. The constant little voice reminding him of that fact kept him constantly on edge, constantly paranoid, constantly ready to identify and destroy whatever threat was coming to finish the job so many others had failed.

He’d imagined death many times, but he’d never imagined it coming from his family. Dying to protect his family was one thing, something he would accept in a heartbeat. But dying at their hands was another story entirely. .

(Shaw laughs, somewhere, and grins that poisonous, condescending grin and chides him for being so soft. You knew better than that, didn’t you? )

Maybe he should have. Maybe this was history repeating itself, and Erik blinding himself to it because he’d never known how to care with only half a heart. Maybe love was a far more fickle thing for everyone else than he’d ever really given it credit for.

Magda, twirling with him in the cabin he’d built them with his own two hands as music crackled out of their record player, Anya standing on his toes between them, had looked every bit as in love as he was. Until she wasn’t. Until a circle of humans who had attacked their home, murdered their daughter, lay at his feet, and there was no amount of love he could’ve given that would’ve stilled her feet as she ran.

Suzanna, constantly casting her eyes at the door, murmuring how much more she enjoyed his presence than that of her husband, how much she wished she could stay. Until the clock ticked past eleven. Until she got up, issuing apology after apology, and left to return to the human man who finger-shaped bruises on her arms and throat, who left her flinching at loud noises and still was worth more.

Charles, grinning at him over a chessboard or laughing as they tossed flour at each other in the kitchen, who had told him that the Institute was his home as long as he wanted it. Until it wasn’t. Until there was a sea of humans firing missiles at his family, and suddenly his usefulness as a weapon wasn’t quite so appreciated when it was turning those very missiles at the humans. Suddenly it was we don’t want the same thing and disappointed eyes and a gentle push until Erik let his place be taken by the human who seconds before had tried to end his life.

It was all love, until it came to humans on the receiving end of Erik’s fire, and then this. And then it was Jean, looking him in the eyes and saying ’I really do love you, but.’

But.

She said it, but those words didn’t reach her eyes. There was no love there, no warmth, nothing recognizable as the little girl he’d come to think of as a daughter at the Institute or the woman he’d danced with at her wedding just a few months ago. Her mouth said ‘I love you,’ but everything else in her posture, in her face, in her eyes, said but.

’I can’t love this.’

Erik would laugh if his chest didn’t feel like it’d been cracked open at the cold expression, so incongruent with the hand brushing his cheek but perfectly aligned with the words falling from her lips. Because of course. Of course.

“Just like your father.” The words tasted like ash.

Erik wasn’t sure what line everyone else seemed to see, between the Erik they loved and this. Between whatever they always thought he was, and what they inevitably saw in the moment before everything fell apart. It didn’t matter how honest he was about his beliefs, about his intentions, about any of it. He’d tried; g-d, how he’d tried.

He loved so much, but. I can’t love this. Something in him was clearly broken, clearly unlovable, and Erik wasn’t sure when Jean had seen it. How much of the love he’d thought he saw before was an act and how much was real. Pathetic.

(How could it have been real? Why would it have been? Love didn’t just disappear, and if it wasn’t there now, it hadn’t been there at all. Had he simply been a matter of convenience? A weapon useful to avenge Scott, but not once it had a mind of its own. Useful until he wasn’t.)

She stepped back, and Erik’s gaze skipped across her and Maddie, until finally his eyes caught Scott’s, through the quartz.

He knew what was going to happen. Scott’s fingers had already slid up to the visor, and it was a pantomime of that scene in the hospital waiting room last week. A moment where Erik had to weigh his chances. .

He could stop Scott, if he tried. Simply turn off the man’s synapses, and he’d be dead before he hit the floor. He could do it to Jean too, quite probably. Maddie.

He could do it, and he could fire the missiles, and he could walk away from this silo with the life he’d managed to sustain against all odds for over ninety years. He could return to Lorna’s bedside and watch her wake up, ensure that she wouldn’t wake up alone. There would be no more human problems, and his daughter would be awake and at his side, wouldn’t be left an orphan when she woke up, and it was a possibility close enough to taste.

But love didn’t disappear, and Erik loved Jean Grey. He loved her, loved Scott, loved Maddie, despite her relative novelty and incessant annoyances, and there was no force in the universe that was going to make him murder his own children. Certainly not to save his own skin.

I’m sorry, Lorna.

Scott flipped his visor.

The world went red, pain slammed into his chest, and the red slipped into black. Erik was dead before he hit the floor.

JEAN: Just like your father.

There was one part of Jean that she knew was her own. The Phoenix came to her at eighteen, sunk its talons into her shoulders and remained an occasionally silent, oftentimes loud companion for decades after. For a long time, she thought that was a blessing — thought its influence prevented death, inspired life, protected her family. Now, she knew better. She knew she was a passenger in her own body, a prisoner to her own impulses. The Phoenix took her anger and made it bigger than compassion, bigger than logic, bigger than love. But there was one part, a part Erik had facilitated, a part that had grown in her since she was barely ten years old.

Jean Grey was a soldier. Like her husband, like her best friends, like the only true parents she’d ever known. She was a soldier, and that meant when something needed done, she could compartmentalise. She could bury emotions, could get the deed done. She could appear in Charles’ office covered in blood, could stomach his disappointment, could understand that it needed to be done regardless.

Did he know this was the outcome, all those years the X-Men faced off against the Brotherhood? Was it the Phoenix, or merely an inevitability? After all, the bird brought truth — it painted Jean as the villain she must’ve been, showed the parts of her she tried so desperately to hide. Did Charles know Erik had to die? Was that why he sent their daughter, instead of facing off on the battleline himself?

Did Charles know just how much this would hurt?

Anger, bitter and curling in her gut, had a brief flash of vindication as the silo filled with red — and then it was like the air was knocked from her lungs. She heard a screeching, loud and desperate and animalistic, felt something pulled from her chest and saw it in the centre of their circle like a flickering candle, like a flame that never went out.

A flame that could be injured. A flame that wasn’t running through her veins, wasn’t blocking her emotions, wasn’t feeding that fire of rage that had been building since Kara, since Lorna’s revelation, since she walked in and saw weapons of mass destruction pointed towards the very people they promised to co-exist peacefully with.

This was Jean Grey. Authentic. Unchanged. She sucked in a breath of charged air, blinked to remove the specks of light from her vision, and saw Erik lying before her.

Jean Grey. Authentic, unchanged, alone for the first time since she was eighteen years old. Devastated.

The power left her legs, and the skin on her knees tore as she scrambled towards him, hands bunching in the front of Erik’s shirt.

(There was dancing around his office. There were kisses pressed to the top of her head, whispered promises of safety. There were lessons of self acceptance, lessons he’d never been able to finish before they splintered. There was that absence, huge, gaping, constantly a source of pain and desperation that fuelled their confrontations. There was relief when he smiled at her in that restaurant, in the hundreds of conversations since.

She would miss him until her dying day.)

Jean’s shaking hands moved to hover over his chest, telekinesis knitting the wound that burned red together. A medic’s instinct — a trained propensity towards healing, towards fixing problems that appeared before her. A daughter’s last act, because Jean knew Erik Lehnsherr needed to die. She knew that.

It just hadn’t occurred to her that he needed to be dead.

(Death wasn’t peaceful. Jean knew this. Death meant being alone in a white, hot room, watching the rest of the world carry on in your absence. Death meant constructing visions, knowing there was no tangibility to them. Death meant being alone, and she never wanted him to be alone. There was a screeching, and this time it was her.)

Jean leaned down, trembling fingers touching against his face. He wasn’t cold, but he would be soon. He would be cold and covered in dirt, and there would be no fight or fury or argument or pounding hearts. There would be no handcrafted music boxes or father to dance with on her wedding anniversary.

A tear dripped onto his cheek, and Jean rested her forehead against his. “I’ll keep you warm,” she whispered, voice barely more than a breath. He could hear her, though. She had to believe that. (She had to be good enough, had to be loud enough, for him to hear her just one more time.) “You’re just asleep, Dad. It won’t be too long, and I’ll come. Promise.”

Soldiers didn’t die of old age. Erik always knew that.

She wrapped her arms around him just as the Force returned to her, body bracing for impact and still being taken off guard. Cracks appeared in her skin, exposed arms and hands glowing orange, and she heard the whisper.

Pray to me, Jean Grey. We can bring him back.

She was so much stronger than she had been, no longer in pieces. Through tear-filled eyes, Jean looked up at Scott, heart thudding hard when she saw he was still standing — and the same with her sister. Her sister, the machination, still alive. Maddie was real.

And Erik was dead.

Jean lay down by his side, arm around his waist. The embers flickered against his still body, but they didn’t enter. They didn’t raise him.

“I can’t use her,” Jean whispered, again to Erik. (He couldn’t hear her. Her abilities showed no aura, no pulse in his neck. He was gone, but she talked regardless. He was in the dark, and in all the times Jean had died she’d never been able to see Annie again, never been able to find her. But she wouldn’t stop trying.) “This one is on me.”

The Phoenix moved for her grief, for the guilt, and Jean turned her away. She wanted to feel it all.

He feels nothing now. Why must you suffer?

The bird still had so much to learn. (That was exactly why.)(edited)

MADDIE: Red bled into Maddie’s vision, a bright light that filled the silo and painted a picture that was inevitable, but no one wanted to see. Red turned to spotty blackness as all air was zapped from the woman’s lungs. There was an almost peacefulness to the quiet nothingness that washed over Maddie for a long moment. She couldn’t explain it, why she felt like something had splintered, cracks in the foundation that were spidering out. She didn’t know what was happening; why she felt like she had died alongside Erik.

There was nothing, inky blackness wrapping around her like a shock blanket and leaving her numb.

Was this grief? Was this nothingness to protect herself or something entirely else, wrong and foreign? Alongside a screeching that Maddie swore was so, so close but so very far away at the same time.

There was nothing to feel in this vast empty Maddie could feel herself in. No bitterness at how she knew she should be feeling a certain way, a regret or a trickle of grief to follow what had happened. There was nothing. She should feel something. Erik was a good man despite it all, a great man even. The closest thing to a dad Maddie could call, accepting her as the rest of the family had without too many questions. .

On the other hand, Maddie was filled with entirely too many of them. Was the emptiness because of the growing disconnect from those she was calling family? That when they were in the same room as her she felt like there was a silent, but clear divide between them and her? Was she the one who had put that line there or had it manifested itself? She had too many questions and no answers, a craving to find as many answers as she could without fracturing what fragile balance existed between them all.

There wasn’t much longer Maddie could linger on it in the darkness when she was forced back to the present with a rush of something slamming back into her. Air filled her lungs as her fingers twitched and she saw fiery cracks in her skin slowly fade away. Her eyes flickered over to Erik on the floor and Jean moving to lay down beside him. The quietness in the room felt deafening.

“Jean…” Maddie said softly, unsure even what she wanted to say, what she could say. Her heart should be breaking, should be filled with the grief that she saw painted over her sister’s own face. Instead, she felt nothing.

Moving towards the pair, Maddie carefully sat down on the floor behind Jean. Her fingers brushed over red hair, carefully stroking over the strands and staying silent amongst the grief. Comfort she could try, despite the pain she knew was filling every inch of the room.

SCOTT: There was a split second, when tragedy struck, where nothing happened at all. It was the moment after you jumped from the plane but before the parachute caught you, the moment after the blood blossomed over the stomach of the girl you loved but before she hit the ground, the moment after the bullet tore through your chest but before the pain struck you. The moment after you opened your eyes, but before that red blast faded. It was too late to turn back, in that moment. The terrible thing had already happened. There was no stopping it, no pulling it back in. You couldn’t go back to the plane, couldn’t force a heart to beat, couldn’t stop the blood from filling up your lungs. You couldn’t stop the blast from landing. You couldn’t make that moment last. In that split second, things were okay, but that split second always ended. The tragedy always clawed its way to the surface.

And this was no different.

Erik fell. There was no grace to it, no beauty. It was quick and unceremonious and violent, because death always was. No one ever looked pretty when they died. No one ever looked at ease. Death was a tsunami, a hurricane, a horrible and dreadful thing that put a pit in your stomach and filled you with a cold unease. Erik fell, and Scott sucked a breath. It felt like there was something hot was in his chest. When he exhaled, he pushed it out. He didn’t mean to, didn’t intend to. He might wonder, later, if he would have exhaled had he known what he would lose. He might wonder if he could have held it inside of him forever if he’d only held his breath. He might wonder if he’d wanted to. But wondering, in the end, rarely did anyone any good.

Scott exhaled. Erik’s body hit the ground. Jean fell to her knees. And everything slammed into him at once. .

The heat left him, like a forest fire exiting his lungs. He gasped a breath, desperate and drowning, and when he exhaled the fire he inhaled the smoke. Everything came rushing back to him all at once. There was no more cold voice in his head whispering to him about what needed to be done. There was no more strange disconnect from how he felt. There was no more icy anger chilling his veins. There was no more Phoenix. Instead, there was Scott. There was Scott, in a room with three people he loved and one of them was on the ground. There was Scott, with his eyes still burning red. There was Scott, feeling everything all at once.

Grief, when it was thick enough, became a tangible thing. It thickened the air around it, made it heavy and hot. It settled onto your chest, curled its hands around your throat. It suffocated you. It shoved your head underwater, held you there until your kicking stopped and the bubbles ceased to escape to the surface. It killed you piece by bloody piece, and Scott hadn’t had many pieces left. He’d already been shattered. But now…

Erik’s body was in the floor, and Scott had put it there. Jean was crouched over him with Maddie at her side, their grief as tangible as his own. In New York, there were graves with the Greys names all lined up side by side, and they had hated him but there had been a time when they hadn’t. There had been a time where they’d invited him to dinner, where they had accepted him. Derry was in a house in Genosha, and she didn’t know who he was. Lorna was in a hospital bed, fighting for her life. Scott had died, had been buried, had come back wrong. Erik was dead. Erik was dead, Erik was dead. And Scott was feeling it all at once. He was underwater, he was drowning, and he didn’t know if he wanted to make it to the surface. He didn’t know if he deserved to. .

His legs didn’t give out underneath him, and this felt wrong. It felt unnatural, like the tree in the forest that grew sideways, parallel to the ground. There shouldn’t be anything holding it up. Gravity should have an easy task pushing it the rest of the way down, but it stood. It stood still and unnatural and wrong, and you kept thinking that someone was going to take an axe to it one day just to finish the goddamn job but no one ever did and it stayed there. Scott stayed on his feet but he shouldn’t have. He shouldn’t have.

He thought Jean might have been talking. He thought Maddie might have been, too. He didn’t think either of them were speaking to him, and he didn’t know how to tune back into the world to find out. The grief was so heavy, and without the Phoenix’s cold rage in his veins, there was nothing to distract from it. There was nothing to turn to. There was grief and there was nothing else. There was no room for anything else.

(He remembered, again, the way Jean spoke of the Phoenix. He remembered how she’d told him it maximized your emotions, made them so big that the world couldn’t expand to hold them. He wondered how his felt bigger without it. He wondered how the world could possibly be vast enough to fit this much anguish, how the weight of it hadn’t knocked the planet off its axis, how the world could still turn when Erik was dead and Scott had killed him. He wondered how anything would ever move passed this moment. He wondered if they might just stay like this forever.)

The world was somehow both quieter and louder with the Phoenix gone, contradiction waiting around every bend, and Scott didn’t recognize the presence of another person in the room until the door slammed shut. He didn’t feel her approach, didn’t sense her coming, didn’t notice anything but his grief and Jean’s grief and Maddie’s grief and the way it all flowed through the bond like a river trying to go in three directions at once. .

(And had he been in a better frame of mind, he might have recognized something different about that third stream. Had he been able to focus on anything but his head underwater, he might have wondered why the things coming from Maddie felt so different than the rest.)

He turned back when he felt her, used all the strength he had just to tear his gaze away from the floor, from Jean, from Maddie, from Erik. His heart seized in his chest, and that tsunami, that hurricane, it hit him all over again. “Lorna.”

(He choked on her name. It felt more like an apology than a word, more like guilt than a person. Like her name was the closest thing to sorry his voice could manage.)

LORNA: She was drowning. Her limbs as heavy as lead, useless to her as she sank like a stone, but the pain in her chest had far less to do with the water she’d gasped in and more to do with the hole that had been punched through her. And then she’d thought it was over. Lorna had thought about death before. How she’d die, when she’d die. If she wanted to. There had been times when she’d imagined it would be something like this, taken out by hateful humans she’d picked a fight with. Or who’d picked a fight with her. She hadn’t thought it would be tonight.

And then it wasn’t. Then there was that brief moment of air before darkness swallowed her back up again like it had under the water. But her heart beat on, struggling at first but beating nonetheless. Lorna, none the wiser.

Until now.

Darkness and pain were the last things she remembered. Only fitting that darkness and pain be the first things she was aware of now. The pain was far more dulled now, no longer consuming her as it had been. She lay there, in the darkness, for a few moments, as she slowly rose out of unconsciousness. Finally, a week after they’d closed, her eyes blinked open.

As soon as she did, it was like her other senses flipped a switch. The beeping of the heart monitor and the humming of the oxygen machine filled her ears. She could smell the antiseptics used to keep her wounds clean overlaying the smells of Erik’s house and her room here. While the blankets were familiar and reassuring–far more so than a hospital would’ve been–the mask on her face and the drip in her arm suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Lorna turned her head to find an empty chair. One that was not usually placed by this bed. A vigil left empty?

She struggled to sit up, inhaling sharply at the pain that any movement in her chest caused. Never one to not be stubborn, Lorna still managed, and pulled the oxygen mask from her face. She could breathe without it now. The drip, she was a little more hesitant to touch. Better to wait for Jean. Lorna trusted that Jean wouldn’t force her to keep it if it wasn’t needed. The heart monitor didn’t like when she tried to take that off her finger and Lorna didn’t know how to turn it off–bar simply using her powers to knock it out–so that stayed too. Instead, Lorna leant back against pillows, wondering how long she would lie here before anyone would know she was awake.

No more than a minute could have passed before she felt it. A shock wave washed through her, one of magnetic energy. Magnetic energy that was far too familiar. Something was wrong. She knew it in her gut. It startled her back up, ignoring the pain. Lorna had to find out what had happened. She pulled the heart monitor from her finger and the IV from her arm, paying no mind to the bleeding nor the way the monitor protested. Her bare feet hit the carpet, and by all accounts she should have not felt as steady on them as she did. Something fueled her, filling her with a strength she should not yet have back. The thought crossed her mind for a moment, but the siren call of that magnetic pulse was too much to ignore.

It screamed wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Something was wrong.

That feeling carried her out of the house, pulling her like a compass to north. Neither the shock of cool air on her skin nor the damp grass beneath her bare feet even slowed her down. Her powers reached out ahead of her, trying to search for what it was that felt like the world was turning upside down. And why it felt so familiar. Like she’d been here before. Like she’d felt this before.

Later, Lorna would come to realise she had known before she even got to the silos what she would find. Not the specifics, but her powers let her view the world as electromagnetic signals. People gave off their own energies, energies she mostly tried to ignore for the sake of her sanity living in a city as massive as New York. Some people’s energies were stronger and more familiar to her.

One was practically just an inversion of her own.

It was that one she had felt from her bedroom, echoing out like a shock wave. Like the aftershocks of an explosion. And if she had stopped to reach for it now, she would have known. She would have felt nothing. Well, not nothing. Even dead bodies felt like something. Lorna knew that all too well. But not the energy she needed to find.

She came to the door of the silo, footsteps practically silent. Her voice was stolen from her chest as she finally found the source of the explosion.

Lorna stood in shock. She could barely see the way Jean grieved or Maddie comforted her or Scott stood still. All she could see was him. Erik. Dead. Not dying as she had been when Rictor brought her back, not an avenging force as he had been when he found her in the forest twenty years ago. Dead. If she could even notice anything else, she would’ve felt how that strength that had carried her here seemed to grow amongst the grief. If that grief had not been so overwhelming.

Without speaking, she reached a hand out. Metal scraped against the concrete ground, echoing in the quiet. Erik’s helmet flew from his body to her outstretched hand, where Lorna clutched it tight. The door slammed shut behind her, echoing in the heavy silence.

Her eyes finally moved from Erik to find Maddie, then Jean, then Scott. Her eyes stayed on him, the smoking gun that was Erik’s body giving her all the evidence she needed.

“Scott. What the fuck have you done?”

#c: scott summers #c: jean grey #c: maddie pryor #c: lorna dane #f: discord #tw: major character death #tw: murder #tw: violence #tw: ptsd #tw: addiction #tw: alcoholism #tw: suicidal ideation #tw: abuse #tw: plane crash #tw: fire #tw: manipulation #tw: grief #d: a prayer like a war cry

12 notes · View notes

vanchlo · 5 years ago

Text

The Assistant / Chapter Twenty-Three, “Bleeding Heart”

hello hello. i’m so sorry that i’m an awful person and i haven’t written in a bahillion years. life has been wack and i fell out of writing for awhile. instead of doing homework like a good human being - yay! - i found this chapter i had started and i finished it. it’s not as long as usual, i know, but i did that on purpose and you’ll see why ;) ;) ;) ;) i hope i can write some more soon and stick with this. i’m unreliable i know and i’m terribly sorry. college and work are crazy and my mom was just diagnosed with 2 kinds of cancers soooo oooo life truly is crazy and overwhelming rn. i hope to maybe set aside some time each night to write, but it’s hard to stop when it’s getting fun haha. i enjoyed writing this chapter and delving more into this story, like idek where it’s gonna go haha.

anyways lemme know what you think of this chapter. i wanna hear your predictions and thoughts!!!!!!!!! reblog, like, share with friends, say hi to me :)

one last thing. we should decide a ship name for harry and becks, i mean it’s been coming. here are my ideas and feel free to send me others :D

a) hecks (my personal fav)

b) barry (i just think of rachel’s barry from FRIENDS but it’s ok)

c) hebecca????

d) ??????

e) hecky?

“No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO.

I try to breathe in, but I can’t.

And suddenly the switch inside of me changes. Instead of pushing him away for the last few weeks, I want him. I want him to come and save me.

The laugh that falls from my lips surprises the both of us. “You can’t hurt me anymore.”

The swarm of voices that crowded my ears from before is now gone. A soft chatter of voices occupies the conference room now, around an hour after the festivities had begun. Now the fun is over and the last few of us clean up the forgotten plates, take down the streamers donning the walls, push in the chairs, vacuum up the crumbs, and everything else required to return the room to its former glory.

“Hey, you stop that,” somebody says from behind me. “This was yer party, yer not s’posed to be cleaning it up,” they finish as I turn around to find Harry pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes as he grasps a wet rag in the other hand.

“No, I want to help. Please,” I reply, turning back to the table and picking up the spray bottle. I spritz the plastic top and run the wet rag over the spot, repeating in sections until I finish the table.

“Fine, I guess you can help,” Harry huffs and I smile to myself in triumph as I return to my cleaning. “So, what did ya think?”

“It was a lot of fun and very nice of all of you, thank you so much again,” I tell him trying to circumvent having a conversation. I move to the other end of the table as he begins on the next one over.

A few male coworkers fold up the table to my left and carry it out the door, probably to place back in storage. My eyes life to find Harry leaning over the table he scrubs and he must notice my pause because he meets my eyes. But I can’t look at him, not today.

“I’m glad ya had such a good time, ‘m sure everybody else did too . . Everybody’s going t’ miss ya, ya know,” he comments, and I nod with a small smile. I don’t know how much more of this awkward small talk I can put up with, especially as the domino that caused all of this is gnawing at my insides. Particularly the part where he could have stopped it coming to this.

But he didn’t.

The rest of the clean up consists of few words between Harry and I, or anybody else for that matter. We cleaned tables, folded them and carried them away, stacked chairs, vacuumed, packed things away, and carried more things away. The room was now bleak with its new emptiness and quiet, all of the people previously filling it returning to their lives. Luckily I found my escape shortly after the room was all squared away.

“All done?” a voice asks me. I look over my shoulder and find Asher tying up a bloated garbage bag. My stomach drops all of a sudden with disappointment at who it is, and who it’s not.

“Yep.” I nod. Then I feel bad for being disappointed. Oh it’s just a never-ending rollercoaster, isn’t it?

“I can’t believe you helped clean up. The whole point was having other people do stuff for you, and then you helped them?!” Asher laughs with a disbelieving shake of his head. He happens to pull a giggle from my unsure lips. I sheepishly nod at his words, and I give him another laugh when he almost trips over the garbage bag.

“Are you on your way out now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I just have to drop off some last-minute things - keys and keycards, that sorta thing. But now I can’t find the person to give them to . . ,” I confess, losing my words as I scan the room for those green eyes and that mustard top.

“Hmmmph, well it’s getting late. Maybe he left or had something. You could leave them with Myles or Jennings, I’m sure if you wanna get outta here. I know you’re just dying to get those drinks with me tomorrow,” Asher quips, turning my lips up with his words.

I leave him with a few words, telling him I’ll see him later. I say goodbyes to a few people as I leave the conference room and begin my hunt to find Harry. One I’m not sure how I want to end.

I find my desk empty and many others as well. Glancing at my watch, I find that the hours have flown by. Many people jetted out of here as it’s five o'clock on a Friday afternoon. The cushion welcomes me as I sit down in my chair for the last time, but I don’t miss its welcoming squeak. The squeaking continues as I spin my last spin in the chair, feeling hot tears at the back of my eyes at the finality of my actions. My mug of pencils- no, it’s not my mug anymore. It never was mine.

A polar bear post-it note holder invades my -not my desk - along with framed pictures of strangers, a bright pink day planner, candy apple lotion, and other foreign objects belonging to the new owner of this desk. Who isn’t me. A long sigh leaves my lips as I release my hands I didn’t know I was clenching.

“It’s now or never,” I say aloud, willing myself to stand.

Okay, Becky, we can do this. This isn’t even the hard part.

But it is, I think to myself as my eyes glance up and memories that took place at this desk spin through my head. Making Harry laugh for the first time. Silly arguments with him about which was the better movie. How easily he made me smile by bringing me coffee out of nowhere and- Stop, Becky, you can’t do this now, I tell myself as I swipe a hot tear away from under my eye. I exhale as I get to my feet and feel for the ring of keys in my pocket. Good, they’re still there.

The hallway is dim, but the light from the London evening comes in through the many windows around the office. His hallway. A hallway I will never walk again. Fuck, am I really sure I want to do this? How can I not see him again? You can and you will. You have to, Becky. It was too hard sitting there day after day wanting him. And him not wanting you back. I nod to myself, trying to affirm those words to myself. They don’t do that good of a job, because of the person I see around the corner.

“Oh hey, bug. A-are ya leavin’?” Harry stutters, his furrowed emerald eyes falling on me. He comes to a stop in front of me, running a hand through his mop of curls.

“U-uh yeah. I was just going to drop off the keys with you and go over a few things.”

“Yeah yeah, sounds good. I jus’ really gotta take a leak, so ‘ll be back in a minute, ‘kay?” He asks with a pat on my arm. I nod with a soft ‘okay,’ as I turn to watch him walk away. Nodding with a thumbs up, he gives me a small sad smile before turning around and walking down the hallway. I watch until he’s gone.

Almost done. But now for the hard part. Leaving him for the last time, I contemplate with a pout. I shuffle my feet to his door and twist the knob. Immediately, his familiar woodsy scent hits me. Suddenly, all of my senses are inundated with him. His messy desk. His blazer draped over his chair. Bookmarked biographies dotting his desk. Empty mugs of tea taking up empty spots. The essential oil diffuser in the corner humming as it mists Sandalwood. Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 trickling from a Bluetooth speaker in the corner. Harry. It’s all him. And my reserves begin to fall. Can I really do this? No, there’s no way I can. Even if I have to sit at that desk day after day trying to love him, it’s better than leaving him.

Yeah, and then what about when he marries Amber or somebody else that’s not you?

I gulp, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat and at the same time pressing my fingers against my eyes, willing them to dry.

“Wow, are we getting a little teary-eyed on our last day?” a voice snarks from behind me.

No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO.

I try to breathe in, but I can’t.

And suddenly the switch inside of me changes. Instead of pushing him away for the last few weeks, I want him. I want him to come and save me. To save me from her. And to see her for the monster that she is.

The laugh that falls from my lips surprises the both of us. “You can’t hurt me anymore, Amber,” I snap, turning around to face her with a wry smile coating my lips.

“Oh I don’t know about that, I still can. But hey, I won, and don’t you forget that,” she retorts. Amber’s blonde curls shake as she stomps her foot and points a tanned manicured finger at me. How can he even comfortably hold hands with those daggers?

Her blow hits me, and she knows it. I can’t hide it, because I’ve lost it. The last few weeks or even months have taken everything from me. My grandpa dying, my mom’s abusive treatment towards me, Harry’s bipolarness, and Amber’s physical and mental attacks. I lost.

“I don’t care,” I croak, throwing up my hands in defeat. The keys on the ring twinkle with movement in my hand.

“But you do! I know you do!” she cackles, excitement twisting her plastic face into a Cheshire grin. “You wanted him, but you couldn’t have him and so you gave up! I won!” Amber continues, stepping towards me in her flowy scarlet blouse and skin-tight black jeans.

I instinctively step back and away from her, but I stop when I think I hear a noise. It’s a loud squeak on the floor that makes me stop, but it doesn’t stop right away.

“I don’t care, Amber, you can have him! I told him what you did to me and he didn’t believe me because of whatever spell you put on him. So you can keep him and live a wonderful, happy life together. I don’t care anymore, and I hate that I ever did,” I announce with weight to my words, willing my feet to lift from the carpet, but they won’t.

Amber chuckles, crossing her arms with a pleased smile of satisfaction painting her face. “I can’t believe you had the nerve to tell him what I did to you,” she mutters in disbelief, shaking her head. “As if Harry would believe that I’d do such a thing. He probably thinks you made it up. Hell, for all I know I never laid a finger on you and you just imagined the whole thing.”

“You left marks on me, Amber,” I spit out through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, and apparently that wasn’t even enough to convince Harry. God, I really do have him wrapped around my finger,” Amber sighs happily. “I can’t do anything wrong in his eyes. He hasn’t even noticed how much I’ve been gone lately, or how often I’ve been texting this new bloke I’m fucking on the side.”

“You slut!” I exclaim, not being able to hold it in. “Harry loves you and would do anything for you! He built this firm from the ground up! He’s sweet, he’s kind, he’s giving, he’s funny- he’s amazing and that’s how you treat him?!”

“Excuse me?! Who here was throwing themselves at my boyfriend right in front of me?!” Amber argues, taking another frightening step toward me. She’s no longer laughing, but instead, her drawn-on eyebrows have fallen into a point above her glassy stare.

“How dense are you?!” I laugh, feeling the anger rise warmly in my chest. I really don’t care anymore. “You have such a huge problem with that - which never happened, thank you - but you think it’s okay to cheat on your boyfriend?! My god, you really are fucking dumb!”

“You just had your last laugh, bitch, because I’m going to slap that smug smile right off your face,” she snarls, taking several steps before I can almost see the flames rising in her eyes.

“No, you won’t!” a voice announces.

I take my eyes off of Amber to see who said that, but it’s a second too long that lets her clawed hand accost my face.

28 notes · View notes

traumawings · 5 years ago

Text

it’s yet another long, looong vent

i hate this family so fucking much oh my god

why am i never allowed to talk about all the hurtful things they've done?? and my mom apparently likes to pretend that she's never hurt me but she has!! just as much as dad!!

but i'm never allowed to bring it up, and today just proved that yet again

i'm never allowed to bring up the damaging things you've done to me bc it either a) didn't happen b) you can't remember c) you never meant to hurt me/didn't know you were hurting me d) you get angry at me or e) you start crying and bring up all the things you've done for me and how you've always been there for me to guilt trip me out of talking about it ^or you apologize just to get it over with so i'll shut up about it and feel even more stupid than i already did and like i've ruined everyone's mood and i should just shut up and die

and i'm done, i'm so fucking done. you think it's not harmful to yell at your kid for being sexually abused at the age of 10 by someone who's 2 years older and way, way taller than her? you really think that's going to make things better? how fucking stupid are you??

but you know what?? good parents don't start crying or get angry at their kids when their kids try to express that you've hurt them. good parents acknowledge that you've hurt them and will sincerely apologize, not so that their kid will shut up about it or bc they feel like they have to or whatever, but bc they're truly sorry. good parents don't guilt trip their children. good parents don't tell their children they're being unreasonable when they express that you've hurt them. good parents don't make their child feel like they're not allowed to have emotions. good parents don't try to defend theirselves when their children tell them about the hurtful shit their parents have done to them. good parents make sure their children don't have to be afraid of them. good parents don't disregard their children's thoughts and feelings.

and i don't fucking care if you don't remember, i do!! and it hurt me so fucking badly!! but it seems really fucking convenient for you that you somehow only remember all the good things you've done for me.

you say you've only sent me to my room once and that that was after the sexual abuse at 10 years old (although you would never acknowledge that that was sexual abuse and instead you just thought it was my own stupid fault) but you did it way more often than that!! and you'd leave me up there for atleast half an hour!! while i sat there, crying and wondering why mommy and daddy hate me, why i'm such a bad kid, why i'm so fucking stupid that i just keep hurting everyone around me

you even did it when i was like what?? 5?? after i'd apparently said smth the both of you just didn't like bc how dare a child defend itself?? and the both of you looked at me with such cold, angry eyes and i was terrified!! and i was crying and nonstop apologizing out of pure fear!! and dad swung me over his shoulder and i tried to reach out to you, i literally called out to you, sobbing, and you just stood there and you did nothing to comfort me. and then i was put in my room, for probably half an hour or so, crying, absolutely terrified to come back downstairs after that.

and you wanna convince me that you don't remember that?? fuck you, you just don't want to remember. but i fucking do, i remember it. and it hurts me, every single day. and it hurts me that my parents apparently hate me so much.

i don't fucking care what your intentions were, the fact that you made FEEL like you were angry or that you hated me or whatever is bad enough!! so stop convincing me that i'm being unreasonable, i'm not!! you hurt me and i want you to fucking acknowledge it but you never will!! and you make feel so fucking stupid, like i don't have a voice of my own and like i can't do anything right!! you're constantly making me doubt my own memory and thats!! fucking!! abuse!! stop that!!

and i'm not saying that you're entirely horrible, bc i've always viewed you as the kindest, best person in my life, but that doesn't mean that you haven't hurt me, bc you have. you and dad have both traumatized me and actually quite severely so. and you make me feel like i'm overreacting, and i'm trying super hard to not believe you, but i just don't know anymore. i'm starting to lose more and more hope every single day, which i thought was impossible seeing that i pretty much had no hope left anymore anyway but here we are. and i have so much to say but you took away my voice so long ago so now i don't know how to explain what i feel anymore, not even to myself.

i just,, feel so fucking stupid right now. i've ruined everything. i'm a bad kid, a bad daughter. i'm ungrateful, worthless, a burden. i always fuck everything up. i lowkey just want to go back and apologize just to get this over with bc i feel so fucking guilty rn. i feel like a fucking monster. mom just wants the best for me, so why am i so ungrateful?? maybe i really should just kill myself, everyone would be better off without me.

i feel like i'm being so dramatic rn over something so small,, but at the same time,, this really does hurt me tho, so am i really being dramatic?

i don't know. i feel like i'm missing something. i just wish i had a normal family. i wish i had a normal, happy childhood. i'm done with this pain, i want to be normal. i want to be like other kids. but i never will be.

10 notes · View notes

garbagequeer · 5 years ago

Note

what are your favorite cshr songs?

i change my mind a lot and can’t make decisions so im just gonna go album by album picking my favorites because there’s A LOT of great songs (also these are in no particular order cause i really am a gemini who can’t make a simple choice). when im done with this i’ll bold the ones i guess are my overall favorites but i have too much room in my heart and brain and i love all of them and i can’t not mention all the great songs that i love. Also my overall favorites change all the time hence the full long ass list. again i AM a gemini

teens of denial:

drunk drivers obviously (and drunk drives single version with the modified verse from plane crash blues like. if you cant find your friends you can leave without them !! so much)

destroyed by hippie powers (which holds a special place in my heart cause i remember listening to it 24/7 and going to the bar with my friends during second term finals my first year of college instead of studying and then the year after that going to see csh also during second term finals and them playing it like. full circle baby)

not what i needed. i feel so empty trying to explain this!

1937 state park

unforgiving girl (also holds a special place in my heart cause im pretty sure it’s the song that got me into them after being like hey i should check out that car seat headrest band since like 2013 but never getting around to it)

the ballad of the costa concordia like. i love to die thank you

drugs with friends (also it feels 5 times more special to me since i saw them play it)

fill in the blank

literally i feel bad for not just putting every song from this album like i love them all they punch me in the face every time but. gotta move along.

how to leave town:

BEAST MONSTER THING (LOVE ISN’T LOVE ENOUGH) LIKE. WHAT? WHAT?? !!!!

i want you to know that im awake / i hope that you’re asleep. you know that quote from like. an article about greta gerwig and lady bird that’s like (wait i googled it):Every situation is pretext for a confrontation: underdone eggs, a pile of rumpled clothes, a hand reaching too quickly for the radio. The question on the surface might be ‘What did you do?’ but the feeling underneath is ‘Who are you and why don’t you know how to love me?’that’s this song

is this dust really from the titanic? mainly cause i think it’s underrated and very endearing like. car seat headrest: more guitar shit

hey space cadet. obviously like

wasn’t going to put more songs cause i think i need to relax but. the ending of dramamine deserves to be listed i mean i can’t hear a thing now i guess i belong to me now but when night fell on montana i found a rest stop completely deserted but i still felt the eyes upon me so i drove away. it BE like that

you know what? fuck it. america and kimochi warui are also favorites. they’re all so good im sorry i CANT do this

nervous young man:

first of all: i wanna sweat. it’s like. you CAN have the euphoric emotion of bodys outside of the fantasy. effervescent amazing uplifting etc etc

burning man. i will go crazy istg like he’s like im defined by the fact that you’re there and we’re different people… i wanna burn your picture! i mean…… yeah

plane crash blues i mean shut up with all these bad vibes all this yelling just shut up shut up shut up! like. to himself.. we get it. and if your luggage is lost you can leave without it and if you run out of drugs you can sleep without them and if you wanna go home you can call a taxi and if you don’t wanna talk you can sit in the backseat. much to think about

death at the movies. sometimes you’re a little depressed and you just. watch movies and it’s weird

boxing day. hand will toledo a womanhood card right now for this like yeah! i feel so haunted and no one seems to notice and no one seems to care!!!! and it doesn’t really matter I’ll just ajlhfsdg!!!. ALSO literally i did something bad im not allowed to go outside anymore i can only be awake at night for the next year of my life. been there done that and all. ALSO i have worms in mouse traps baby cracks me up every time

the gun song. there’s a lot going on there

afterglow and jerks cause i love to have fun too

monomania:

misheard lyrics and i don’t think it gets enough love

times to die and also the teens of style version

overexposed (enjoy). again i love fun

los borrachos (fun fact: i saw the painting it’s named after irl and i was like. sick csh reference museo del prado)

SOULS. !!!!

maud gone both versions. sweetheart please love me too long

sleeping with strangers. i love to have fun

anchorite (love you very much). i get my feelings hurt by someone i love i listen to this song like. YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! call it catharsis

and that’s literally the whole album except for one song. im sorry

twin fantasy (which is two albums but. it’s really just one which is very meta of it/them imo. also unless i specify im talking about both versions):

B O D Y S

famous prophets. both versions make me feel breathless

beach life-in-death OBVIOUSLY

twin fantasy (those boys) and i think both versions really mean so so much together which is true of all of twin fantasy but. particularly here it hits me like. from he has only lyrics now to these are only lyrics now. it’s a lot

my boy (more the 2018 version)

nervous young inhumans (the 2011 version. for the monologue like. he defined twin fantasy. also the fact that galvanistic isn’t a real word he just fucked up and that’s the chorus)

high to death (more the 2018 version but both are great)

honestly sober to death for the don’t worry you and me wont be alone no more which is. so much. ALSO when they play sober to death/powderfinger and ethan does great vocals

cute thing (2018)

my back is killing me baby

no passion. he wants a man who would hate him and who would leave him if he were open and he’d do the same to him. he dreams he watches porn but he cant see it. he understands some ugly ass feelings

father, flesh in rags. it bangs

strangers but the teens of style version

happy news for sadness cause once again he says the ugliest shit (i liked you better when you hated yourself every time i think about love i think about me thinking about you) and it makes me think of that shit about how people will disclose they think they’re bad and they have bad thoughts when they’re going to ask to be loved. also you can never tell the truth but you can tell something that sounds like it

the drum. did i say i love to have fun? i love to have fun (both versions but i think i like the original more at least rn)

stoop kid

something soon (both versions)

starving while living:

it’s only sex

reuse the cells

devil moon

i hate living

literally all other csh shit cause i don’t listen to many songs from the first records :/ and stuff:

i can talk with my eyes shut

the ghost of bob saget. the lyrics to this song are hilarious and relatable somehow

i have to mention i am afraid of literally everything / i scream social / this one time I went to a coffee house because some guy I knew was playing and I just sat there for an hour and didn’t talk to anyone and then I came home and wrote this song / you have to go to college / it’s you you’re the asshole that made this but literally only cause i felt like laughing when i was 18 and finally got around to checking out csh and he was like. i wrote these songs about when i went to college and i was afraid of everything and shit was hard. cause like. same. and i just have a fond memory of going through csh’s entire discography from newest to oldest and ending up awake till almost 7am losing my mind. i feel like this about lots of songs from the first 5 albums but i don’t really listen to them much tho. someday i’ll get around to giving them a chance again

that thing someone made where they put together pain star (if heaven is full of people…) and …then it will be exactly the same as earth

does it feel good (to say goodbye?)

and their cover of hey ya even though it’s not a csh song. im mad no one has posted a proper recording of it because i do love to have fun. also their cover of this must be the place too. and the cover of waves of fear also. they’re all really fun

#answered #csh #car seat headrest #im terrible at picking things as you can see #anonymous

39 notes · View notes

bitchsexuality · 5 years ago

Text

@animaliae

ok first off i’m sorry i took so long to reply!! i’ve been busy in the most tedious way possible so my brain’s not exactly my best friend right now. second off: THANK U SO MUCH these were so fun to answer!!

i’m putting all of these in the same post because i started talking and i could not Shut The Up, and i think one atrociously long post is better than four long posts when it comes to like, scrollability. scrollpastability? scroll-Something. and putting it under a readmore too for the same reasons

SO, from top to bottom:

weirdest character idea for D-N-D:

it’s an idea i’ve already had because i can’t come up with anything right now dksjfgbd, but

once i made a druid for a D//N/D-based CRPG who only cast spells when they gave him something edible (in theory ofc, the game didn’t let me eat my summoned bears... thankfully...), so i ended up with nothing but goodberries and several animal summoning spells. then i proceeded to cheat my way through the game, which defeated the point sdfgsd, but it was still fun concept-wise

also made me spend too much time wondering if the entangle spell’s vines could be eaten. i mean you can’t eat the WHOLE thing but maybe you could like, munch on it a little, or try to slurp it up like a noodle. it wouldn’t be tasty, it wouldn’t be easy, and it most definitely would not be healthy, but it’s like. the principle of the thing

if ur asking yourself WHY i did that… well there aren’t THAT many D/ND-based CRPGS out there and i’d already played that one —several times, in fact— so i wanted to try something different :0

i mean it’s not THAT weird tbh, but he’s the only OC i can think of right now that soooooort of fits? and my brain is like, a tundra of creativity at the moment. a deep tar pool that absorbs all inspiration and drags it, kicking and screaming, to its viscous doom. well you get the idea. or i hope you do because i sure fucking don’t

ideal ending for one of my characters:

hmmmm for like, original fiction characters i more or less have all their endings planned out? most of them ARE ideal because i am fully in control of their destinies and i am also a softhearted lidle bich who prefers stories with relatively uplifting/happy endings. or tbh even the ones that aren’t technically happy are still ideal in terms of character arcs, development, etc

(i might be giving myself way too much credit there though skdjgbdksjfg)

and —though this is super unlikely and mostly just me deceiving myself at this point— i do want to publish what i’m working on rn, so talking about endings would be a spoiler for something that does not exist and probably never will outside of my idiot fool head. so i’m gonna talk about an old OC that i’m not doing anything with anymore!

her name was elina and her entire deal was that she came from a family of very powerful witches who owned a, uh, i guess you could call it an archive? or a library?? idk, it was just an ABSURDLY large collection of magic-related books, and it pretty much contained all known arcane knowledge (though come think of it, “all known arcane knowledge” can’t have been THAT much because the archive was just one room. a huge fucking monster of a room yeah but like. still just One)

so anyway, her family members were very dutiful + responsible when it came to the archivelibraryroom thing, but they were also too traditional for her tastes? like they didn’t bother practicing/using magic, or experimenting, or looking for anything outside of books; they only cared about written things, and even then they did nothing but get the Very Important Books, put them in the archivelibraryroom and forget about them completely

then elina ran into a group of other magic-users who were investigating a weird phenomenon in her hometown, and she asked her family about it, but they essentially were like “oh if it doesn’t affect the books we don’t care lol anyway it’s your turn to clean the archivelibrary now”

but yeah i’m sure y’all can tell where this is going kjdfgbd elina was the typical YA protag in that she was super rebellious, so she turned her back on her family and left her house to help the group of inconveniently yet stereotypically teenage magic-users, made friends, learned about magic, blah blah blah

the issue is that i never gave that story an ending? like the closest thing to it was a vague “uhhhh elina goes back home to find the archivelibrary is burning down and pulls some kind of mysterious water magic out of her ass to save it; then her family apologizes, they begin to respect her and she stays with them to keep caring for the archivelibrary, But With A Progressive Twist”

the issue was that after writing around two chapters i realized i didn’t actually Have a plot, so i didn’t know what story that ending would be... ending... and since i couldn’t think of anything + i wasn’t THAT attached to the characters anyway i just gave up on it

but now that i’m thinking of it again, just for the sake of ending the Story That Never Was, i feel like making her earn the respect of her family just because she saved the books + proved she actually cares about that too is, idk, shallow? out of character?

because she believed that her family’s fixation on history + Neatly Documented stuff was holding them back and making things worse for everyone. she left her home behind because her ideals re.: magic —that it should grow and change to fit the context + people’s needs, and not the other way around— were so strong

OOF THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKING LONG KSDJGB i’m just gonna stop here and say: elina’s new ideal ending is pretty much that while she ends up in friendly terms with her family —because, in spite of their fundamental disagreements, they never hurt her— she doesn’t go back home and chooses to travel around the world instead, helping people in whichever way possible and freely sharing her knowledge with anyone who’s willing to listen and, at the same time, learning from them

i mean, the concept’s not too original ksjdbg just something i thought of super quick, and that’s just a half-assed attempt at closure for an OC i made when i was like… 9

headcanons about my favs:

ok this one’s hard because i’m not into any like… fandom things right now? i haven’t found anything that rly interests me or that i could see myself being passionate about, which sucks because i do kinda miss being into stuff with Established Content :(

so i’ve been focusing on my OCs + original stories and such. and i’m not sure if OC headcanons count as headcanons because i control canon so technically everything i come up with IS canon. then again it’s headcanon too because it’s a canon from my head because that’s where ideas come from. okay wait i’m not making any cents here x

but uhh knowing me i might think of something right after publishing this, so if that happens i’ll come back and edit this post :0

also just saying but if any of y’all know of something i could get into then lmk, i’m open to suggestions! preferably free stuff though... i’m beset by capitalisms

a favorite scene that i loved:

i can’t remember any in particular right now, either from my #content or somebody else’s SDFKJGBDF god my mind 😔 well i mean i’m gonna be a little bit full of meself and say that i’ve written things that i really like, especially imagery-wise, but i Also want to publish those someday… like i’ve also written original/OC-related stuff that i don’t plan on publishing, but i’m not THAT proud of them tbh :/

i was —emphasis on was— trying to write a short story about jasna (one of my D-N/D OCs, a cleric of oghma) that never really went anywhere, but i did post a snippet on my OC blog, and that’s what i hate the least out of all my recent attempts at writing? so i’m just gonna put it here again ig sdfgs (not actually linking to the OC blog post because it’s kind of a mess rn, i need to fix the theme + clean it up a bit)

if you got this far and read all of this nonsensical verbal monster: i love u with all my heart and i would legitimately die for u.

#otherworldly whispers #hope it's OK that i'm mentioning u btw!!!#just so u know i wasn't like. ignoring you or anything dsfkgsd #also if i'd answered the question directly it'd have shown up in ur activity feed anyway right? so technically it's the same #... i think...#long post #im talking a LONG ass fucking post that's not a joke or an exaggeration this bitch is LONG #text heavy #food ment - . / (Kind of? not really????)#family ment - . /#fire ment - . /#again kind of not really #ask me to tag - . /#bc im not sure how else to tag this skjdfb

5 notes · View notes

haloud · 5 years ago

Text

episode 8 rewatch thoughts

yes im doing this because alex manes is a legend

holy shit isobel’s opening monologue in this episode is chock-full of meaning

“safety is so easy to take for granted. especially when you grow up loved.” as a picture of young max with a trophy transforms into michael’s mugshot

jesse has max’s house under full-on surveillance. hope someone did something about those cameras or else there’s going to be footage of noah and of michael throwing max out the window

“safety is a feeling you only value once it’s been stripped from you ... or worse, when the thing that makes you unsafe isn’t an invader at all.” isobel :(

lmao i cant even watch the scenes with mrs evans

kyle bought liz a cactus! get you a man tbh

also fast forwarding through the noah scenes >:’(

jesse talking about “it’s not safe” and “for your own good you need to leave” shut the fuck up u bitch eat crutch

ok so like im not sure how we’re supposed to interpret some stuff like how much is isobel and how much was noah all along but it’s kind of super fucked up that isobel almost made kyle a murderer

i love a sassy guerin

“according to my mom, you were a little terror drawing [the symbol] all over the walls at the group home” maxwell you are on thin fucking ice with me rn

tho i do like that max recognizes that he’s forcing normalcy so goddamn hard someday it might just be true. love 2 b self-aware

i’ve talked shit about michael’s psychic connection coming and going with no indication why, but maybe this time it wasn’t actually psychic? like, if max and isobel are biologically related, maybe their electrical signals are the same and that’s why only max felt hers disappearing/felt cold and weird.

alex <3 <3 <3 <3

he’s all at once scary, incredibly competent and hot, and adorable in this scene ldjfdlkfjld l e g e n d

iz, if you want kyle to take his shirt off all you have to do is ask

michael yeets discretion out the window

michael i know ur going through a lot rn but also i feel like liz is good for one (1) free slap after this scene lmao

i am Very Troubled that jesse knows alex has the ship piece

i wanna know what alex’s conspiracy chat room handle is

“finally, i called mom.” this sentence literally haunts me i NEED to know more about mama manes. alex certainly doesn’t sound happy about it but he still knows how to contact her??? what is the deal

you’re the flaw, dad ^-^

can i just say i love a storyline with an abusive parent where the emotional manipulation just straight up does not work. alex is having none of it god he’s an icon

“i want to destroy the thing you love. and i want to make you watch”

and then the picture of michael pops up

“so like i said. i’m trying to protect you.”

JESSE MANES DIE PAINFULLY CHALLENGE

the cinnamon topography

god jesse is a good fucking villain

let! liz! and! michael! be! friends!

“max may not see you, but i do.” yes!! liz is fucking dangerous!! it’s fucking fantastic!!!!

the thing is, though, that max may see her as the smart, gorgeous, loving, brilliant girl next door, and he may overlook how dangerous and determined and righteous and terrifying she can be, but the thing is that she’s both

REAL LOVING LIZ ORTECHO HOURS

michael bb dont cry

equals in both science and twisting the knife guerin + ortecho bffs 4ever

i wanna know what’s under the tarp

michael telling liz he doesn’t even blame her for wanting isobel dead, confessing that they made liz leave so she has all the facts...he knows that he’d destroy anyone who took his siblings from him and he empathizes with liz despite his own pain and fear. this is the content. this is what we gain from the characters all being well into adulthood. god this episode is fucking good.

there’s probably some good stuff in these mrs evans scenes but i juuuuuust can’t

don’t...really know what we’re supposed to take away from noah punching the mirror tbh. maybe he’s pissed/freaked out that the serum even exists?

i am a kyle valenti stan first and a human second

still fucked up that if isobel had died she would have made kyle kind of a murderer?? izzy, girl, please never do that again

“blinded by your perversions” DIE

also love how rnm doesn’t make jesse Just Misguided like that he attacked michael bc he thought he was an alien that would hurt alex nope! he’s just a homophobic monster on an unjustified crusade! all villains think they’re the heroes but that’s not the same as gray morality and i’m so fuckin amped to watch a show that understands that

tear the bitch apart, alex!!!!!

maxwell :((((((((

maxwellllllll :(((((((((((((((((

alex handing his father back his gun is still the biggest dick move anyone has ever done like. good fucking lord.

alex won’t be caught off guard, though. he knows that he hasn’t seen the last of his father. he knows that winning the battle isn’t the same as winning the war.

the scene where isobel is coated in silver is beautifully shot tbh

liz is a GODDESS.

A GODDESS

“besides, you and I weren’t meant to be together” isn’t that far off from a lot of the stuff malex has said/that’s been said about them, and we see how long that lasts. everything’s gonna be fine, y’all

jesse tryna get jenna to inform on alex DIE

i simultaneously hope that michael/maria is over quickly and that they can still be friends, because they were honestly pretty good in this episode

so the takeaway from this episode is that if anyone tries to say roswell is badly written turns out they’re completely wrong

#roswell new mexico #liveblog #feel free to ignore my ramblings but this was really fun lol #and i noticed a lot of stuff i didnt notice last time #love for this show = strengthened reinforced validated decision to stan renewed

4 notes · View notes

kitty-does-stuff · 6 years ago

Text

you like homestuck? why not try ___

(reblogs > likes, if you read this all and think to yourself that you should check out one of the things i talked about then why not reblog and share with others?)

hiya so ain’t a normal post for this blog, think of it like a youtube video but text (i’d make this a video but i don’t have a good mic & idk how to edit), anyways this is a start to a series of posts i’ll sometimes make, the point of this series is to point some fandoms at other pieces of work like the thing that fandom likes, so like in this post i’ll talk about other pieces of work that homestuck fans might like

anyways most of the post is under the cut cause it might be a long but i’ll show the 1st 2 that way you can see if you like my reasoning, also i haven’t seen every piece of media ever so i might miss some things so feel to add in a reblog

(also the numbers i use aren’t to show the quality, it’s just what came to mind 1st)

1: borderlands

ok tbh this game is why i made this post, this game series has a lot of the same kinds of humour (though borderlands doesn’t to what i can recall have any ablest jokes or the stuff like that), it’s a very fun game series even for those who most of the time don’t like shooters as it’s kinda like what would happen if overwatch’s fun shooting mechanics had a baby with diablo 2‘s skill trees

the story is really great, taking a lot of cues(and names) from greek legends, also a hot tip, you really don’t need to play the 1st game, just start at borderlands 2 then go to pre sequel and then tales from the borderlands and you should be fine

also there are quite a few lgbtq+ characters (including a canon lesbian relationship that can end in marriage, i say can as it’s a part of a game where what you say and do can have things end in other ways), and there is also a lot of room for oc making as it takes place in it;s very own world that has a lot of things no other story really has

2: Undertale/Deltarune

ok you most likely know about at least Undertale but hey this is my post and i get to add what i want. anyways Undertale’s story is this: once a upon a time monsters and humans both lived above the ground but one day a war started, humans with their determination sealed the monsters deep beneath Mount Ebott, creating a barrier only a human soul could pass, one day a child climbs Mount Ebott and falls into the undergrond, the way this tale ends is up to the player

ok so there are quite a few characters that you get to know well, they all have backstorys that are quite the tales, there is canon lgbtq+ characters (including a canon relationship with two of the woman characters, a non binary protag and trans coded characters),

it’s also a very funny game and the story is one of the best story's i’ve ever heard, also if you like the music of homestuck then you’re gonna love this game’s music as it was made by toby fox (some of his songs from homestuck are: Black, Descend, Savior of the Waking World, MeGaLoVania, ect)

now Deltarune isn’t a full game yet and only chapter 1 is out rn but if you’ve already played Undertale then give this a go

3: My Hero Academia

ok so a lot of you already know about this anime but i still feel i should about it. So the show’s plot is about a world where most people have superpowers called Quirks, the main character (named Izuku Midoriya) has the dream of be coming a superhero like his role model All Might but he has a problem: he was born without a Quirk, the show has him slowly learn how to be a hero, make new friends and fight evil

there are a lot of characters so if you liked the bigger cast size of homestuck then this will be great. the fights are very well done and the super powers are well done, there is also a lot of room to make oc’s so if you liked making oc’s this show should be great for you

you can find this wherever you stream/watch anime

4: danganronpa

did you like the murder in homestuck? wish there was more and it was somehow more nuts? well then these games (plus anime and book or two) are for you!

the 1st game story is this: you are Makoto Naegi, a student of Hope's Peak Academy, who finds himself trapped in a game of mutual killing among his peers, in Hope's Peak Academy everyone is some kind of Ultimate (of skills or things like being a robot), Makoto Naegi is the Ultimate Lucky Student witch is a Ultimate given out in a lottery

the games have a lot of unique characters and a story about as messed up as homestuck, there are also canon lgbtq+ characters but for the most part most are only coded (and the ones that are canon don’t uh really get any happy endings), also due the whole Ultimate thing there’s a lot of room for oc making

here’s the order that you’ll wanna use (bolded means you need to see or else later things won’t make sense anything else is just a plus): Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc > Makoto Naegi Secret File > Danganronpa Kirigiri (may not be canon) > Danganronpa: Togami (not canon, also just save yourself from wasting time and don’t read it, it sucks) > Danganronpa 2: Goodby Dispair > Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc IF (non canon) > Danganronpa Zero > Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls > Ultra Despair Hagakure > Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak Academy (there are two different complimentary series. The idea is that you alternate between the two of them starting with Side Future, then Side Despair so your order would be F1, D1, F2, D2, etc...) > Super Danganronpa 2.5 > Danganronpa Gaiden: Killer Killer > anything else to do with the main danganronpa universe > Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony (not canon to the rest of the games, it is it’s own verse)

5: steven universe

so i’m sure most of you have heard of this but it’s really good so it’s worth sharing, here’s the plot: The Crystal Gems are a team of magical beings who are the self-appointed guardians of the universe. Half-human, half-Gem hero Steven is the "little brother" of the group. The goofball is learning to save the world using the magical powers that come from his bellybutton and he goes on magical adventures with the rest of the Crystal Gems, even though he's not as powerful -- or smart -- as fellow group members Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. Despite his shortcomings, Steven usually finds a surprising way to save the day.

this show has so many lgbtq+ characters that if i tried i wouldn’t be able to list them all, there is so much room to make oc’s if you can think of a type of gem then you got a gemsona idea buddy cuz any gem can be a character and the story is really great

6: the adventure zone

ok so this one is a tabletop rpg podcast, so far there has been two main campaigns though one is still on going, the 1st one is called The Balance Arc it’s the campaign that was for d&d and so far is the only main campaign to be over as it has a ending (though they sometimes still do live shows set in the campaign), it’s also the one you should must likely start with, then the 2nd main campaign is called: Amnesty it uses the monster of the week rpg and is on going, this podcast is hosted by the McElroys

here’s what campaign 1 can be summed up as: The story of four idiots that played DnD so hard that they made themselves cry.

here’s a fan-made trailer for The Balance Arc

youtube

7: critical role

another d&d show! yeah i know but this one and the last one are very very different, for one everyone in this show knows how to play d&d, anyways this is a web series in which a group of professional voice actors play Dungeons & Dragons, that is played live every Thursday. There are two campaigns, one of them is over while the other is on going, both are already very long so you better have some free time on your hands

if you do watch then be ready to cry at least once

8: 17776

ok so uh this one is a bit odd, it’s on the shorter side os things and is a serialized speculative fiction multimedia narrative by Jon Bois published online through SB Nation, it’s odd but from what i know it’s good

9: paranatural

a webcomic that is made by the same person that made summerteen romance (y’know from Paradox Space?) anyways the comic follows the story of Max, the new kid at school, and the other members of the Activity Club as they fight ghosts, investigate the secrets of Mayview, and interact with their fellow middle school students

it’s a fun webcomic that has characters that you end up really wanting to learn more about

10: young justice

so this show is a pertty good way to get into the dc fandom, you don’t need to know much of the lore of the main dc verse as a lot of the stuff isn’t quite the same in the show so need to worry if your not the must into comics, the story is about the the teenage team of superheroes as they save the world as well as deal with normal daily life issues

it’s a fun show that can make you cry really fast, that goes from light hearted to dark very quick and isn’t afraid to kill off a characters

9 notes · View notes

imagine-this-overwatch-blog · 6 years ago

Note

Sorry is this is a bother, but is there any way you could start posting your to do list/queue every once and a while? I just find it interesting to see what people request :p

I may need to be reminded to post the list. I never really know when it’s a good time to do it. But hey it’s no problem here’s what I have rn.

For the skin thing, could you write something with Mystery Man McCree where him and his S/O are partners like Tonto and the Lone Ranger? Sorry I’m just a huge western show nerd 😂😂

How about nsfw oni Genji headcanons?

As part of military discipline, Hybrid Pharah keeps her wings in absolute pristine condition. She makes it seem effortless. Hybrid Angela is an absolute wreck. She just stuffs her wings in her armor and goes. You have to preen her while she's working sometimes.

Headcanons for White hat or maybe Royal McCree both look like sugar daddies imo 😂

Since you did the Genji one, how one about super saiyan blue tracer

Some Forest Spirit Orisa headcannons would be super cool! I imagine her being the guardian of an ancient forest or something. She also gets along with all the little critters. ;0;

My friend, may I request some sub!Reinhardt? Both nsfw and sfw. I feel we lack content with a submissive buff german boy

What headcanons do you have for oni genji :D one of my headcanons for him is that (after he's "killed") he wonders around the forest he lives in and searches for lost children (the forest often have many since theres a small village nearby) he guides them out of the forest so they don't get taken by the mean witch mercy who will turns them into frogs or ingredients for her spells (she doesn't but the villagers believe she does)

Hcs for cricket junkrat? Im a sucker for dumbass jocks tbh

Headcannons for islander roadhog? Like, who is he? Where did he come f r o m

Young!Hanzo, Okami!Hanzo, and/or Scion!Hanzo! Pretty please!

Halloween is coming up, so how about some Junkenstien and Junkenstien's monster headcannons?

Can I request some headcanons around getting Blackwatch!Moira's attention?

Camgirl (or boy) adopts hybrid of your choice, hybrid of your choice gets introduced on screen (after consenting of course), hybrid of your choice immediately becomes a fan favorite, hybrid of your choice has just stolen your show and donations.

Requesting something wholesome but with bewbers. Preferably reader's face being shoved between them. And kisses.

Something wholesome please: Reader comes off the anesthetic and starts flirting with an endeared Angela, not remembering quite yet (because of the anesthetic) that this super-hot bombshell he's flirting with is not an angel nor a supermodel. She is, in fact, his girlfriend. When he comes fully off the anesthetic, he still stands by the marriage proposal he asked in the recovery room.

I'm the anon who sent in the crotch obsessed puppy!Cree ask, I would absolutely LOVE to see some headcanons of all the guys if your up to it~

Hey! Can I please request some shower sex with McCree and a fem!S/O? Gotta get dirty while getting clean, am I right?

All these hybrid AU makes me happy ❤❤ but what if we have kitty!Reader hybrid instead?? Which ow boys gonna love it? And which boys likes kitty!reader with brave and naughty, and which gonna likes it with timid and obidient??

Can I please request some breeding with puppy!Jack?

Can you please do a nsfw scenario of junkrat sleeping with a virgin reader? Thank you!

Can I request Jesse or Hanzo with a hybrid panther s/o? Sfw or nsfw, it's up to you

Can I have an order of Genji with a fem!kitty!hybrid reader? I need some kitten play in my life honestly. Whatever you wanna do is fine (but bonus points for collaring and leashing)! NSFW is preferred! :')

(NSFW) Poly McCree and Reinhardt with a shy and timid trans woman s/o who is nervous about telling them about her kinks (Mainly musk, feet/socks, size difference, daddy kink) as she's never had a loving partner before, let alone 2. The boys are happy to make her feel nice and loved, while also being naughty and kinky themselves

Hello!! I saw up top it said you were open, but I apologize if not just in case. How about some Hanzo with a housewife kink?? Maybe she can cook exceptional well too? Thank you so much for being so open! Have a great day!!

Can you please do a HC of Jesse, Jamie, and Mako getting jealous? Thanks!

Can I request platonic!Hammond and reader? Like she is a resident of Junkertown that lives near the outskirts of Junkertown and found out about Wrecking Ball’s identity? She’s practically giddy about him being a hamster and gives him a place to stay and work on his mech and Hammond is very grateful. I think it would be fun to be best friends with an adorable hamster!!

How would Genji, Hanzo, Mcree, Mercy, 76, and Reaper feel about an s/o that’s younger than them? Like someone in their twenties while they’re in their thirties or older?

JABDOCIDBWBDKDKS I'm a recent follower and I'm screaming some of your hcs are just so GOOD???? Pls hit me with all that Good Shit©. If it's by any chance okay, could I maybe request Hanzo with fem!s/o that is initially headstrong, but secretly has an omega/housewife kink?? (I'm not sure if I'm using the AU right so sorry in advance.) Thank you so much for always being so open and kind!!! ❤❤

Maybe some headcanons for Brigitte and a hybrid Lion!Hybrid S/O? Fem or gender neutral is okay! Idrc if they're sfw or nsfw I just enjoy your hybrid AU. Do as you please with request! 💕

How about McCree with a puppy hybrid fem!so whose going through a particularly rough heat. Perhaps she's getting false pregnancy vibes, collecting his things behind his back and making a nice nest of it to comfort herself during these trying times. :')

Pharah will at times stare off into space making horrified expressions when nothing is happening. This is a sign she's having a flashback and you just calmly talk to her and tell her exactly where she is until fades away, and ask if it's okay to hug her afterwards.

If it’s okay may I please have a scenario where Genji’s been gone for a couple days on a mission and when he gets home he walks in on his girlfriend masturbating and whimpering his name and he just watches for a few minutes before pinning her to the bed and eating her out? Thanks in advance and I hope you’re having a great day :)

Could a hybrid s / o rabbit with a kitty! Genji / kitty! Hanzo?

Could you do Brigette with a chubby fem! So? Like, her gf sees cute couples doing piggybacks all the time and is a little sad bc she thinks she’s way to heavy for Brigette to handle?

Junkrat with a hybrid tiger!reader who growls and hisses at people they dont like and are generally moody except with Junkrat? Like, they'll usually avoid most people but when they see Rat their ears perk up and they stick close to him and just enjoy his company.

Can you please do a HC of Jesse, Jamie, and Mako trying to flirt with a crush? Thanks!

reader is on the enemy team, but our heroes have taken a romantic liking to them (and vice versa). during the middle of their ultimate in-battle, reader pulls them in for a kiss ('stunning' them, thus cancelling their ult) in order to save their own team. by the time the kiss is over, the heroes' ultimate timed out, and reader scrambles back to their team for safety. how would Reaper, McCree and Genji react?

Some NSFW for a nice shiba!Genji? Perhaps he's hit a rut and his fem!so wants to be able to help him out a bit.

Pregnant horny Vampire Mercy is eventually going to fuck you to death or eat you alive. You wouldn't change a damned thing.

#mun text #Anonymous ;#asks

7 notes · View notes

oddree13 · 7 years ago

Text

Bittersweet Nursey/Dex RP

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like nurseydex, and dex/nursey.

Stranger: What sort of coffee do you want. I'm at Annie's. -WP

You: If I tell you my order will you chirp me? DN

Stranger: Nah -WP

Stranger: I'm in a nice mood today -WP

You: Fine. Can you get me the salted caramel mocha please. Largest they have. I'll pay you back. DN

Stranger: Yes, yes, and no. -WP

You: Dude it's a pricey drink so let me just pay for it. DN

Stranger: I don't mind, honestly. You get stuff for me sometimes. -WP

You: Yeah but that's because reasons. DN

Stranger: Cuz what reasons? -WP

You: Just reasons dude. DN Like you never expect and that particular smile is a good look on you. ND

Stranger: ... -WP

Stranger: I Feel like I'm doing that smile rn -WP

You: Probably not. You've probably got on that bashful smile you get when someone compliments you not for your hard work. DN

Stranger: You're documenting all of my smiles now? -WP

Stranger: God gave me the gayest roommate -WP

You: Look I didn't try to, I just notice things...DN

Stranger: It's fine -WP

Stranger: I actually like that you pay attention to me. Makes me feel less stupid for doing the same to you -WP

You: Funny Poindexter. Like you'd waste time on me. DN

Stranger: How can you go from being chill to an ass in 3 seconds? -WP

You: I'm not an ass just realistic. DN You've got better things to do then pay attention to me off the ice. DN

Stranger: Then I'm a fucking moron for not doing whatever better things I've got to do. -WP

You: I didn't say that. You're putting words in my mouth. DN

Stranger: I literally did not accuse you of saying that, I'm saying it about my own goddamn self -WP

Stranger: Jesus Christ i'm trying to be civil and you act like we're still freshman and i've got it out for you -WP

You: You aren't a moron at all. DN

You: And you're right I got defensive sorry. ND

Stranger: All of you like... fucking harped on me to change and I've been doing my best, and I think I'm doing good but I feel like I'm being treated like I pull the same shit I used to. -WP

Stranger: Just... let me be nice. Stop thinking it's a joke or I'm being sarcastic or whatever shit goes through your head. -WP

You: I don't think like that because it's coming from you. I think that about everyone. DN And you've changed. A lot. It's noticable and I'm super proud of you dude. DN

Stranger: Well I'm doing one of those stupid smiles again so thx for that -WP

Stranger: I'm almost back to the Haus -WP I got Chowder 2 of those cake bars. Let him know? He's not answering his texts (is Cait over????) -WP

You: Yeah Cait is over. I've got music going on in our room for that reason. DN

Stranger: Baaaaarffff -WP I guess we can have the cake bars then I don't want them getting old and gross -WP

You: More for us then. DN

Stranger: I like them anyways. They're like cake pops but bigger -WP

You: Oh yeah those a great. DN

Stranger: Can you come get the door for me I panicked and left without one of those drink carriers -WP

You: Nursey chuckled and put down his phone. Walking downstairs, and trying to not hear the noise coming from Chowder's room, he opened the door for Dex and helped him with the drinks. "What do you mean you panicked?"

Stranger: Dex nodded a thank-you at Nursey and handed him his large drink. "Thank god for Siri or our stuff would've eaten shit." He entered the room, his face getting red after hearing a shout and a laugh coming from Chowder's room. After closing his door he tossed the bag of cake treats onto Nursey's bottom bunk. "Jeez. They sound like they're having way too much fun, the fuck."

Stranger: *He didn't really want to explain his weird bouts of panic, so he hoped that if he ignored it Nursey wouldn't ask again.

You: "I've been told sex can be fun," he snorted, and sat on his bunk, sipping the warm caffeinated drink and sighing contentedly. "Thank you again Dex and I'm sorry for being an ass." He offered and opened the cake bag to see two different flavors. "Half and half?"

Stranger: Dex rolled his eyes and sat next to Nursey on his bed. "Well yeah, but like... They're having SO much fun and honestly, I'm sort of jealous?" He shrugged and broke the other cake bar in half. He took and gave a half before eating one of them and hummed. "Is this Of Monsters and Men? Nice."

You: "Yeah I just put a radio station on to drown out their fun," he shrugged, and wanted to tell Dex that he could easily have that much fun. He'd seen the looks his defenseman got at parties from anyone with eyes. "Well there's a kegster coming up if that envy lingers."

Stranger: Dex huffed and leaned back, resting his temple against the post of the ladder. "Eh... I'm not, like, into sex with strangers. The idea of it kind of freaks me out." Dex took a long sip of his minty mocha iced drink. "And I don't even know if I want like, actual sex. Cuddling sounds just as nice."

You: "I mean that's legit too. You might be ace or somewhere on the spectrum if sex like that squicks you out," he offered.

Stranger: Dex nodded. "Yeah. I've considered that. I guess my awkwardness has that going for me, because I've never really had to deal with people coming onto me." Dex looked at his cake pop and turned it in his hands before eating a piece. "Pretty sure I like dudes too, though. Aesthetically, at least."

You: Nursey choked on his drink at that. There was Dex, conservative uptight Dex, confessing his attraction to dudes. "Yeah," he squeaked out, "they're pretty nice to look at."

Stranger: Dex smirked, watching Nursey get a little flustered. It was kind of funny. He was glad he waited for the right moment to come out-- the right moment being when Nursey was taking a drink. "And like, I get insanely jealous when I see guys with really nice beards. But it's like, do I want to be them, or be with them? I don't know! I can't tell who I'm attracted to because I've never really been attracted to anyone. Nothing more than like, "yeah, that's kinda hot"."

You: Nursey couldn't help the hand that went to his face, lamenting his lack of facial hair that would be an simple attraction for Dex. "I feel that. I mean that's how I figured it out, but it's cool if you never get based 'yea that's kinda hot' for anyone."

Stranger: Dex stared at his drink, stirring the whipped cream around with his spoon. "Yeah. So.. I kinda just.. Don't try? And if I meet someone that wants to date me despite me being weird about sex, then yeah I'll try it. I just don't want to go throwing myself out to the wolves."

You: "I'm sure you'll find a lot of people just willing to be with you, sex or no sex. You'd be a great boyfriend," he assured, trying not to come off as hestitant from jealousy.

Stranger: Dex smiled and he stretched his foot out and gently kicked Nursey's side. "Well, thanks dude. It just may take me forever. I don't really get out much y'know?" Dex took another bite of his cake pop. "Maybe I've got to ride on Chowder's shoulders and I'll end up toppling over onto my true love."

You: "I mean yeah but Chowder was riding my shoulder's when you knocked us into her," he pointed out.

Stranger: Dex tossed a cake bit at Nursey. "It doesn't matter who was being ridden, dude. C still scored." Out of context that sounded hilariously dirty, and Dex was grinning from it. "What about you? You listen to shitty pining songs all the time but I don't see you trying to find a beau."

You: "Oh well, I just like that music," he lied, trying his hardest not to say that he was pining for the redhead next to him, smiling the grin he gets when he's being devious.

Stranger: Dex rolled his eyes and he lifted his foot up to push it against Nursey's neck and jaw. "Shut the fuck up, it's deeper than that we both know it. Don't make me shove my foot down your throat."

You: Nursey flushed at the thought of those things of Dex's he'd like down his throat, but kept it to himself. "Fine, I like someone, but they're just a friend. I tried hooking up a lot to get them out of my system but it didn't work so instead I'm just being."

Stranger: Dex grinned a little and he set his drink down and then crawled over to sit down right next to Nursey and pester him. He poked at his friend's arm, over the tattoo just barely peeking out from under his shirt. "Come on bro, you gotta tell me who. A friend? Is it a friend I know or one of your poetry people?"

You: Had Dex been poking him like this a year ago he would have thought his D-man had lost it. But now, he was a more tactile person which did little for Nursey's resolve. "I'd really rather not talk about it. Doing my best to forget them after all."

Stranger: Dex pouted a little and he put his hands on Nursey's cheeks, squishing them. "Yooo, come on man." He brought his hands lower, squeezing the corner of Derek's mouth to make his lips pucker hilariously with each word. "Tell. Me. At least a name? A basic description?"

You: It took everything Nursey had in him to not turn his head and kiss Dex's palm. "I can tell you that if they wanted me that they'd be it for me. I wouldn't want anyone else."

Stranger: Dex blinked, looking at Nursey with a bit of surprise. His hand dropped. "Shit...Really? That's like.. Serious stuff, Nurse." He backed off, feeling a little.... What even was that? Dejection? No, Nursey being in love was a /happy/ thing. Maybe it was just sad that Nursey didn't think he could be with them. "Have you tried making a move?"

You: "Once, but they weren't into it. I backed off," he mumbled, sipping his drink. "And it's not that serious. Most people would think it was the fleeting delusions of a young twenty something."

Stranger: Dex frowned. Who the hell wouldn't want Nursey? "Dude, it sounds kinda serious. And who cares if you're young? My parents got together in /high school/ and everyone told them that it wouldn't work because they were young and stupid and in love. Look at them now. Still together and shit." He shrugged. "You're, like... a really nice dude. I'm sorry this person doesn't see that."

You: "No, don't get me wrong. He think's I'm great, but a great friend. And it's chill if that's all I get to be. He doesn't owe me anything," he added, trying to not bask in the praise Dex was laying on him.

Stranger: Dex nodded his head slow. "Oh... Okay. Well that's better than like, him /not/ seeing how cool you are. Still that kinda sucks." Dex reached over Nursey to grab his drink and he took an experimental sip of it. It was a little too salty for him, but still decent. "How long ago did you ask him out?"

You: "I didn't ask him out. I just told him that he looked good and whatnot and he didn't react well. So, I got the hint."

Stranger: Dex frowned. "Well... That's not much of anything, bro." He gave Derek's arm a gentle slap. "Everyone on the team throws around random-ass compliments all the time. So maybe he's been around people like that. Maybe he had no idea you meant in in like, a genuine, I-Want-You kind of way."

You: "I'm good Dex. Really. He deserves more than me, and I wouldn't even know what I'd tell him."

Stranger: Dex rolled his eyes. "Alright. Well, if you think so." He shifted back to his original spot near the opposite end of the bed and leaned against the post. "Kinda stupid that you won't like, give the guy a proper choice to go out with you though. He could very well think that you're too good for him."

You: "Right, like he'd think that," he snorted and wondered why Dex had moved so far, missing the proximity. In the middle of songs transitioning a noise from Chowder's room came through the walls, and Nursey winced.

Stranger: Dex made a face as well and he got a little red. There was a short silence between them and Dex rubbed at his face. "What the fuck. My brain keeps trying to imagine what's going on in there and I'm like, please stop." Dex sat up to bang his fist on the wall. "Hey!! Tone it down like, two notches?! Please?!"

You: After that they both heard a giggle Cait yell sorry. "Don't imagine it because you'll be half pissed and half jealous," he laughed.

Stranger: Dex snorted and he shifted, wedging his feet underneath Nursey's legs. He liked sitting and pressing close to his friend. He wasn't used to simple affection and proximity. "I don't know who I'm more jealous of, honestly. Like..." He shrugged. "I don't know. It'd be nice to have someone feel me up, I think. S'not like I get touched often."

You: Nursey begged every deity he could think of for strength. "I know what you mean," he agreed trying to keep the image of fingers ghosting over freckled skin from his mind.

Stranger: Dex pushed his foot more against Nursey's knee. He wished Nursey could be one of those dudes that would just... /offer/ affection. Dex didn't know how to ask for it. "Well.. You're better at getting that shit done. You don't have a problem with doing it with strangers. That's nice for you."

You: "I don't fuck strangers though...I mean not in the usual sense. But I haven't really since last year, so yeah," he muttered, reaching out to take Dex's foot and massage it a bit.

Stranger: "Oh." Dex shrugged. His toes flexed and he sighed a little when Nursey began to massage his foot. That felt really nice. "Well... There's nothing wrong with that if you still want to. It doesn't... I don't know. I think people make too big a deal of saving themselves for one person. If they want to have casual sex along the way, it's no big deal. Unless they're contracting dangerous diseases. Then it gets like... yikes."

You: "I know, I just found myself doing it to replace him...and it wasn't fair to myself or the people I was with," he explained, smiling at the sigh Dex gave.

Stranger: Dex nodded a little and he smiled. "Well that's cute. You're such a chill dude. It's nice." His head tipped back and his breathing slowed. Nursey's fingers were working deep into his foot and... "Nhh.."

You: No. This was not happening. Nursey could not get hard from giving his crush a foot massage and hearing him relax. "Feel good?"

Stranger: Dex puffed air through his nose. "Is that even a real question? Yeah, it feels good." He tried not to overthink this whole thing. Nursey was just rubbing his foot. That didn't mean the guy was into him or was going to try to make a move on him.. Even though a part of Dex wanted him to. "Don't stop on my account."

You: "Just wanted to make sure that you were into it," he smirked, and moved on to the next foot before moving up to his calf.

Stranger: "Oh ha, ha." Dex used his free foot to kick at Derek. "How about if I /don't/ like something, I'll tell you. Makes it a lot less complicated." Dex was really glad he was wearing his tri-stripe adidas shorts. Nursey's hands felt so nice over his skin.

You: Nursey just nodded and worked his way up his roommate's legs, until he finished the thighs, not wanting to do more, despite Dex now looking very realxed.

Stranger: Dex knew Nursey was moving closer, but when he felt his friend rub at his thighs he opened his eyes and stared at him. "You...uh. You're good at.. good with your hands." Nursey's face was so distractingly close and Dex's brain wouldn't function right.

You: "Thanks, um, did I go too far?" he asked, knowing that he was almost in Dex's lap with the way he was sitting. It would be so easy just to lean forward and kiss him.

Stranger: Dex took another slow breath and his head shook slowly. "Well I didn't tell you to stop," Dex reminded, his eyes flicking over Nursey's face. The music that was playing only made Dex feel more into the moment. It was a nice sountrack.

You: "Is there another place you want me to touch?" he asked, unaware of how it sounded.

Stranger: Dex snorted and he ducked his head a little, before he reached for Nursey's hand. He slowly pulled it to his hip, and his face got hotter. "Just...Anywhere... I want to know what it's like. If that's cool."

You: Dex was asking him what it was like to be touched and wanted, and if Nursey swore he was dying. Clearly he'd passed out during English class and this was heaven. But after a breath he pulled away. "I can't...fuck, I can't...it's not real like this."

Stranger: Dex mumbled a string of curses under his breath and he pulled his legs back, curling up and away from Derek. "Can we just forget I ever--? Fuck, this is so fucking embarrassing." Dex pulled the pillow out from under him and lay flat, instead pulling the pillow down over his face.

You: "No Dex, no," he began, moving to lay beside the redhead who was trying to suffocate himself. "It's not you. It's me. God, I would give anything to just trace my fingers over your skin but you're not into me like that. I get that I'm safe bet if you wanted to experiment but I can't do it if it's not real."

Stranger: Dex felt his face flush hot at Derek's words. He wanted to feel Derek touch him, too. He trusted Derek a lot. "I.. But I.. I want this, from you. I wouldn't go fuckin'... Asking one of the other guys to do this. You... I trust you and.. I mean, you're hot and.. If I had a solid type I'm pretty sure you'd fit it."

You: "I might be your type and you might not ask one of the other guys, but I'm telling you Dex I can't do it because of trust. I like you, so much, it hurts to be around you sometime. You think I know that you have 14 distinct smile because I'm bored? No I know because I can't stop watching your fucking gorgeous face for more than a few minutes. I'd be happy to touch you Dex, but I won't because I'm not deluding myself into thinking I get to have you."

Stranger: Dex let out a long sigh and he pushed the pillow off his face to flop under his head instead. He had to let this go, but... Fuck. Nursey liked him. Like...Actually liked him. Thought he could be The One. "I'm sorry." Dex pushed his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry I tried to.. talk you into this. It just felt so good, and--Fuck, it was selfish. I'm really sorry I can't be the kind of guy you're after. I wish I could know for sure whether what I feel is just loneliness or a desire to be with you."

You: "I get it," he sighed, his body aching from anxiety, and knowing that he was right in the first place to not open up. Dex had pried out of him information about his crush and now his heart was breaking into pieces. "I'm going to go for a walk okay?"

Stranger: Dex kept his body curled up as closer as he could, feeling a range of flaring emotions. "Y-yeah. No I don't blame you." He was near silent until the moment Nursey left and that's when his frustration bubbled over into rage. He shoved a few thing off his desk in a fit of anger at himself, not caring at the moment that he had broken a favorite mug of his.

You: Nursey ignored the way Chowder was calling his name as he went down the stairs and out the door, only realizing after he was a block away that he'd left without shoes on. Sighing, he made his way to the English building knowing which deserted parts he could hide and breakdown in without being bothered.

#dexnursey #nurseydex #william poindexter #derek nurse #omgcheckplease #angst #rp log #omegle rp #myrps #myposts

5 notes · View notes

wildlingknight · 7 years ago

Text

Rules: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end you choose 25 people to be tagged.

I was tagged by @loftwing-nest, thanks love!

LAST

Drink: Tea

Phone Call: Mum yesterday

Text Message: My Dad

Song you Listened To: Meet me in the woods by Lord Huron

Time You Cried: Uh last week I think when I got a letter I’ve been waiting two years for

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated Someone Twice: Yep

Been Cheated On: Don’t think so

Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Yep

Lost Someone Special: Yep

Been Depressed: Always

Been Drunk and Thrown Up: Yep

Made a New Friend: Yep

Fallen Out of Love: Yep

Laughed Until you Cried: Last night with @liv-andletdie several times

Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: Yep

Found Out Someone was Talking About You: I dunno, I don’t like to think people talk about me unless it’s in a nice way, I’d rather people talk to me than about me

GENERAL

How Many People on Tumblr Do You Know in Real Life: A couple

Do You Have Any Pets: A grey tabby cat called Betty

Do You Want to Change Your Name? Already did :D

What Time Did You Wake Up this Morning? ‘bout 9

What Were You Doing Last Night? Playing botw and talking to @liv-andletdie

Have You Ever Talked To A Person named Tom? Yep

What’s Getting On Your Nerves Right Now? I have a belly ache

Blood Type: I think I’m O+

Nickname: Leolion, Link, Papa, Sparrow legs, Tin ribs, Sunflower, Little’un, etc

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Pronouns: He/him

Favorite Show: Brooklyn 99, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and The Last Airbender

College: Staffordshire University

Hair Color: Dirty ashey blonde

Do You Have A Crush On Someone: I dunno man

What Do You Think of Yourself: Room for improvement

FIRST

Surgery? On my arm when I broke it

Piercing: I’ve had: ear lobes three times, top of left ear, both nostrils, septum three times, right eyebrow and left lower lip, but all I have left now are one set of lobe piercings and the top of left ear

First Sport You Joined: Horse riding

First Vacation: Devon probably

First Pair of Sneakers? I have no idea

RIGHT NOW

Eating: Monster munch

Drinking: Orange Squash

I’m About To: Play botw

Listening To: Nothing

Dream Career: Something fun and creative, not really sure what as long as I love it

Want Kids: Nope

Want to Get Married: Nope

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

Shorter or Taller: Everyone is taller than me, I’m a shorty

Older or Younger: Either but I never go more than two or three years either side

Romantic or Spontaneous: Romantic

Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive

Hook Up or Relationship: Relationship

Troublemaker or Hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a Stranger: Yep

Drank Hard Liquor: Yep

Lost Contacts/Glasses: Nope

Sex on First Date: Yep

Broken Someone’s Heart: I hope not

Been Arrested: Nope

Turned Someone Down: Yep

Fallen for a Friend: Yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: I’m trying

Miracles: Not really

Love at First Sight: Not really

I don’t know 25 people

@liv-andletdie @sugarelixir @philly--cheese--steak @yureimori @eveonline @abovethearbys @sherlockholmesinsultingdetective

That’s all the urls I can remember rn

#Thanks for tagging me #tag

1 note · View note

ladybekool · 8 years ago

Text

Tag Games ♡

OK JULS HERE WE GO i’m in the mood omfg it’s gonna be long. @ttaewo you ask for this.

NINE THINGS ABOUT ME RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SINGLE and happy FAVOURITE COLOURS: yellow and very toxic green PETS: i used to have fish but they all die so nope, only my lil’ sis’ (héhé) WAKE-uP TIME: MY BODY SEEMS TO HAVE AN INNER ALARM AT 8 AM RECENTLY #LITTERALYFML THIS IS HOLIDAYS CATS OR DOGS: ... both ? really both. CHAPSTICK OR LIPSTICK: LIPSTICK (chateau wine colooor)(lalala) LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: You never walk alone - BTS

RANDOM TAG GAME: rules: go to this website: www.random.org/lists and pick 15 of your bias/faves 1. MUM/DAD: Jisoo (FUNNY TIMES) 2. SIBLING: Kihyun (omg my sassy bro... love this) 3. GRANDMA/GRANDPA: Hwasa (MY GRANNY IS FUCKING COOL ANS SMEXY) 4. HAUNTS YOU: Mark Tuan ( i would be so pleased but lowkey afraid with all this little giggle) 5. GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND: Amber (.........i’ve been blessed) 6. YOUR EX: Jaehyun (LMAO) 7. YOUR BEST FRIEND: The8 ... (OMG COOL BESTIE) 8. PROPOSED TO YOU: Jongup (ofc.. i mean.. yeah) 9. YOUR BOSS: Lisa !!! 10. RANDOM PERSON YOU MEET AT THE BAR: Yugyeom (JUST AFTER BOWLING LOL) 11. RIVAL: Wonho (oh man i’m in deep shit) 12. FIRST KISS: Jungkook (rfdjsk CUTE) 13. SUGARHIGH AND SINGING KARAOKE: Namjoon (!!!!! itwouldbesofunimdying) 14. PLAYED 7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH: Taehyung (..oh my..) 15. GAVE YOU YOUR FAVOURITE DESSERT: Suga (ok this is so funny. SUGA give me my fav DESERT)(WOUHHH)(*cough* cookie *cough*)

5 COOL FACTS: rules: give out 5 interesting, strange, weird, cool, dope af, bizarre facts about yourself. it can be absolutely anything! and then tag 10 people that you’d like to know more about! keep it going! ❤️ 1. i spoke to myself a lot and when i’m in the street i sometimes pretend i’m on the phone 2. i have a birthmark pretty cool but pretty huge on my groin (i think it’s the name of it but not sure) 3. i have a tattoo 4. i have no shame 5. i did a voguing-dance-battle one day in front of a crowed it was a queer party in Porto and I legit start to dance in the middle of a crowed even if i didn’t knew shit about voguing. i didn’t win but i did it and i’m so proud of it lmao

TOP 15 KPOP SONGS OF 2016: (in no specific order) 1. Monster, EXO 2. Highlight, Seventeen 3. How’s that, HyunA 4. Save Me, BTS 5. Lie, BTS Jimin 6. Awake, BTS Jin 7. Begin, BTS Jungkook 8. Boys Meet Evil, BTS J-hope 9. The Last, Agust’D 10. MOBB 빨리 전화해 (HIT ME) (Feat. KUSH) 11. January (Feat. YDG) - 빈지노 (Beenzino) (not kpop but still) 12. Monsta X - All In 13. Monsta X - Fighter 14. B.A.P - Killer 15. Vain hope(희망고문) - NELL(넬) (again not kpop but STILL)

GET TO KNOW ME TAG: rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better TAGGED BY: @ttaewo thanks NICKNAME: morguy, momo, mo, mori, mogo etc... GENDER: female STAR SIGN: vleo HEIGHT: 166cm TIME RIGHT NOW: 10:45am LAST THING GOOGLED: groins english FAVOURITE BANDS: BTS, NELL, Moderat, Simple Minds, Massive Attack, Mansionair, Monsta X, Exo.... A LOT I DON’T KNOW FAVOURITE SOLO ARTISTS: HA:TFELT, AMBER, LUNA, Sevdaliza ... I DON’T HAVE A FAV I’M SORRY SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEAD: Nell - Vain Hope... LAST MOVIE WATCHED: I DON’T REMEMBER LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED: F*cking Hwarang WHEN DID YOU CREATE YOUR BLOG: 2012 ! WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU POST: meme, aesthetic, thoughts, shitty selfie, kpop WHEN DID YOUR BLOG REACH ITS PEAK: idk? DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BLOGS: YES DO YOU GET ASKS REGULARLY: NO NEVER lmao, no one give a shit about me lmao WHY YOU CHOSE YOUR URL: ohhh hm, first it was “ihauntedbambismom” then i saw a funny ad about lady cigarette named ladybecool so it was it and recently i changed it because it was funny...... FOLLOWING: 473 POSTS: 7,480 HOGWARTS HOUSE: SLYTHERIN AND PROUD POKEMON TEAM: i don’t know nor i care ? FAVOURITE COLOURS: yellloooowwww AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 5-7 hours (same juls) LUCKY NUMBERS: 8 FAVOURITE CHARACTERS: me WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW: my pj litteraly a pink velvet pyjama. HOW MANY BLANKETS DO YOU SLEEP WITH: 2 DREAM JOB: working in the music industry (kpop?) as an art director DREAM TRIP: south korea....

ALPHABETICAL TAG GAME: A - AGE: 22 B - BIGGEST FEAR: dark C - CURRENT TIME: 10:55 am D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: hot water (DON’T JUDGE ME CATHY IF U READ THIS) E - EVERY DAY STARTS WITH: opening my laptop F - FAVOURITE SONG: ... i don’t know it change all the time G - GHOSTS, ARE THEY REAL?: yup there is one in my room i talk to them sometimes H - HOMETOWN: hmmm i kinda don’t want to say it, but it’s in france I - IN LOVE WITH: ... food. J - JEALOUS OF: no one ? K - KILLED SOMEONE: MY SELF ESTEEM ? L - LAST TIME YOU’VE CRIED: on valentine’s day during hwarang ep18 fucking shit M - MIDDLE NAME: DANY JACKY N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1.. 2 ? (i don’t see the second one) O - ONE WISH: Happiness for everyone P - PERSON YOU’VE LAST CALLED / TEXTED: @lbrtlss AGAIN NO SHAME LOOOL Q - QUESTIONS YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED: what’s this ? or what are we eating ? R - REASONS TO SMILE: the sun is bright rn♡ S - SONGS LAST SANG: CYPHER PART4 T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 8AM SHT but then i sleep again and usually it’s 10am U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: grey? V - VACATION DESTINATION: SEA !!! W - WORST HABIT: rambling X - X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD: none ahahha Y - YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD: EVERYTHING EVERYTHING “Mianhae I hate u Saranghae I hate u, Yongseohae” ... I NEED U FOOOD Z - ZODIAC SIGN: leo

ARMY TAG: WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BIAS WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED STANNING BTS? Tae ? probably WHO IS YOUR CURRENT BIAS? ALL OF FUCKING THEM WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BANGTAN BOMB? THE TROT ONE !!!! everypati say nOoOoOOOoo WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BTS SONG? TOMORROW if i have to choose WHICH MEMBER IS YOUR BIAS WRECKER? AGAIN, all of them WHICH MEMBER APPEARS IN YOUR DREAMS THE MOST? Namjoon ? or Taetae WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BTS MV? ........ Save me. But .. all of them. but Save me is simple and so efficient i really like it. WHICH BTS CHOREOGRAPHY DO YOU DANCE TO MOST OFTEN? IDK ? All of them. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AN ARMY? hmpf 7 months WHICH ALBUM TRACKLIST IS YOUR FAVOURI WINGS even if 화양연화 Young Forever changed my life WHICH ALBUM ART IS YOUR FAVOURITE? 화양연화 Young Forever ! WHICH MEMBER WOULD YOU CHOSE TO BE YOUR HUSBAND? NAMJOOOONNNNNN

♡ that’s it. bye. i didn’t do the handwriting one because i’m hella lazy to get up my bed HAHAHAHA tagging people i love / i’d like to know better: @vmonstalove @my-son-taehyung @lovebeweird that’s for uuuu PLEASE DON’T HATE ME LOL

#HERE WE GO #LOL #léa i have no shame

2 notes · View notes

exo-yeol · 6 years ago

Text

Ask Game!

I was tagged by the beautiful @baekscrazylady cause she knows just how bored I truly am! Also! Fun fact! I was half way through this and my laptop crashed so that was fun!:))))))))))))))))))))

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Closed!

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Nope! ...I do have one on each hand but I don’t think that counts! :P

(3) Can You Whistle?

Yes! In and out! (oml that sounds so weird!)

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

Super Junior D&E - I Love It!

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

PINK! I FREAKING LOVE PINK!

(6) Relationship Status.

Sexy, Free and Single! I’m ready to bingo! ;P ....jk bout the bingo part!

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

18° C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yes! I was woken up at an ungodly hour by by little brother. Not. Fun.

(9) How Many Followers?

I have no clue! I never think of checking that for tumblr! But really not that many!

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Scorpio!

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Blue!

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

Oh god, too many!

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

YES! What is that point in showering if you don’t make use of the amazing acoustics??

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

Uhhmm again, too many! The most recent one I read some of was Carrie Hope Fletcher’s The Other Side

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

You Can Heal Your Life - Louise L. Hay “you are developing insight and understanding that will set you free.”

(16) Favourite Anime?

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!! Brotherhood or the original anime idagf! They are both SO GOOD! And the characters are my everything! I would die for them! Can I marry Ed? Can I marry Mustang? Can I be best friends with Winry?? Can I do alchemy pls? And the storyline is so interesting and complex and the characters are really well rounded and the back stories oomf I fucking love it soooo much! I’m gonna copy @baekscrazylady and put in a gif here because I miss looking at their faces!

AAAAH! How fucking COOL is Ed? I love them so much!

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Does myself count? Yesterday I cried in front of the mirror! But if it has to be another person then my mother!

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Teddies, Tamagotchis, Kpop albums/merch, books, EMOTIONAL WOUNDS!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Chicken Caesar Salad Wrap!

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Uhm I guess? Its not something I get a chance to do often but if the opportunity presents itself then sure! But also I hate being a distraction to the driver so like keep it on the minimum peeps!

(21) Favourite Animal?

WOLVES AND FOXES AND CANINES IN GENERAL! My room and house in general is covered in some variation of canine! Including two living ones (soon to be three!)

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Yas! Track, Badminton, Trampolining and Diving are my faves!

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Lately somewhere between 11 and 12!

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

Yes! I’m wearing bright pink eyeshadow and bright pink lipstick!

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

I don’t really have a preference cause I can’t really swim, but I like to mess around and play in both!

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

@baekscrazylady is always a winner for all your multifandom needs! Plus shes my bestie! But thats just a bonus :P

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled tastes nicer but I have no problems drinking from the tap!

(28) What Makes You Happy?

I’m not sure any more! :/

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

I’m sleepy! I think I’m gonna finish this in the morning!

...

Okay! I’m back after 7 hours of sleep!

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

Without!

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Dogs! I’m not too fond of cats and I think my dogs would have a problem if I brought one home!

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

PINK!

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

PlayStation! I’ve spent a lifetime playing Crash Bandicoot on the PS1 and my loyalties run deep!

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

The Ocean! I just feel like theres bound to be monsters in a lake!

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Of course! <3

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Yellow! But last night when I started this I was wearing a green vest!

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

I surely can!

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

Both!

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Plenty! Teddies, books, a suitcase, kpop albums, my bedsheet is pink!

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Well K-pop is an ongoing obsession! But recently something specific I’ve been OBSESSED with is Seungri’s 123! THIS IS THE BEST SONG! I have to listen to it everyday or I can’t function! Its soooo good! And the MV is really fun and theres cute lil bloopers at the end! I love it!!

Hehe! Look at him go!!

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Yes! My brother actually attracts them! They land on him all the time! Its kinda cute kinda freaky!

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

I think it depends on the person and the thing I’m being influenced about, but I’m quite a stubborn/headstrong person so I would say that I lean more towards no...but still a lil bit yes!

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Uhm yes, a lot!

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

I’m not scared of flying and I don’t mind it, but its not my favourite thing!

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

The Green Mile, this movie broke me and now I actually cannot watch sad movies...also two days ago I cried at The Breakup so woo go me for being a mess!

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds! I could eat a whole bag!

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

EXO! In all their OT9 glory!!! I need this to happen so that I can die happy! ...I would say BTS as well since they’re my ults too but I ALREADY HAVE TICKETS TO SEE THEM!!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!! MY ARMY HEART IS DYING!

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not really! I have a list of stuff I don’t eat but I’ll eat it if its put in front of me cause I have to set a good example for my little brothers!

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

I sleep like a corpse.

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Nope! I love it! My whole family are those freaks who’ll stupidly run to the window or outside and be like “waaaahhh!”

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

Yes! I do both everyday!

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU!! MY MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!!

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Wrap presents! Bitch I’m a PRO!

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Hyuna - Run & Run (MY QUEEN!)

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Autumn months wise, but we’re still getting Summer weather!

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

More sleep!

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

Nah...not arsed, but the post I last saw was a gifset of Mark and JB being stoopid!

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Female

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Tea!

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No! Its the Summer holidays!

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Mainly straight, but aren’t we all a little gay? I’m about 70/30! Or maybe even 60/40!

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Most days, but my bed is really annoying to make and takes a good ten mins so sometimes I don’t do it till like 5 o’clock in the day when I want to sit on it!

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Eevee! Ninetails! All water Pokemon! Pikachu! Togapee!

(64) Favourite Social Media?

I don’t know! I get bored of them quickly and hop around! RN I’d say instagram maybe?

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I love watching them!

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Yep! I think everyone does a little or at times! But I’ve never been like actual homesick where you get sick and everything!

(67) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Tea-tree shampoo and a conditioner thats specifically for curly hair but I can’t remember the name!

(68) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Motel! I know that they’re haunted and I’m gonna be stabbed in the shower but listen, I am not sleeping in a fricking car, ESPECIALLY not on my own!!

(69) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes, unfortunately! ,,,jk about the unfortunately...or am I? :P

(70) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

I’m going to see the Teen Titans Movie! CAN’T WAIT!! I watched the show all the time when I was a kid! Also I really want to see Wreck-It Ralph 2 and so many others!

(71) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

I don’t have a favourite quote atm! Sorry!

(72) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

People? Find? Specific? Eye? Colours? Sexy?

(73) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YEs and YEs! I would be that kid swinging far too high and then jumping off! Me and my friend used to challenge each other to do specific poses and stuff while we were jumping off or when we’d land!

(74) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

A chicken goujon!

(75) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

I have one rhythm game, and a few language games!

(76) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

I don’t think so because I’m not that confident in my CPR giving skills so I’d probably ask someone else to help! But if worst comes to worst then I probably would!

(77) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Today? No! In my life? Yes!

(78) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

All the time!

(79) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yes!

(80) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Every now and then! But I just woke up so I haven’t put any on today!

(81) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed! But if I’m sharing with my brothers then I can sleep with them open!

(82) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

I peed, I reset my password on a website and I’ve listened to Seungri’s 123!

(83) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Big tshirts or night dresses! And in the Winter I wear matching pjs!

(84) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

Like including makeup? Or just skincare? I use too much makeup to list! And for skincare everything I use has some sort of coconut oil in it!

(85) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Both!

(86) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Nah!

(87) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

Hmmmmmmmmm which to choose! I recently had a dream about 2 weeks ago where I was in a bar and Chanyeol and Sehun were having a dance off while I was singing karaoke and I kept getting angry at them for distracting me! And Seungcheol, who was my boyfriend in this particular dream universe, was chasing his manager around with a pair of false eyelashes trying to put them on him!

(88) Favourite Soda Drink?

Mainstream: Nothing better than an ice cold coke! Don’t @ me!

Hippie dippy: Elderflower!

(89) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rain, my Gran calling my name, chuckling, little children/babies laughing, my Grandpa singing, Chanyeol singing, waves ( i always fall asleep to waves!), idk so many others its too early and my brain is mush rn!

(90) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats

I wear both quite equally!

(91) How Do You Look Right Now?

I just woke up and I have mascara under my eyes, honestly I think I still look asleep!

(92) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Washing my face! I feel so calm and pampered! Its the simple things :P

(93) What Tattoo Do You Want?

TOO MANY!!! I want a Golden Snitch, and a fairy and a flower and so many! I can’t wait to start getting tattooed!

(94) Favourite YouTuber?

Rn Shane Dawson is my number one, but I do love Jenna Marbles, Dan and Phil, Safiya Nygaard, Grav3yardgirl, Jamie Jo and then a hand full of beauty gurus that I semi-keep up with!

(95) Do you smoke?

No. Its really gross and reminds me of my Dad. No thank you.

(96) How tall are you?

5′ 2″!! Or maybe 5′ 3″! I’m 160cm!

(97) What career did you want as a child

A singer! I still lowkey do! But thats a very squashed dream at this point! I also wanted to be an actress! Honestly I just wanted to make people happy and entertain them! And when I was a child I was always the center of attention because my mam had me when she was waaay young and no one else her age had a child so I guess from an early age I’ve just loved watching people laugh or be happy because of me! Thats probably why I’m attracted to film and have a YouTube channel cause I want people to have fun while enjoying the things that I create or am a part of! I hope this doesn’t sound conceited oml!

(98) Do you care about your weight?

Yes! But I don’t know what I weigh tho cause my mam doesn’t believe in weighing scales, and shes right! But I am conscious of my weight! ...most times I’m self conscious of it lol!

(99) Ever kissed a stranger?

Yes! Many a time!

(100) Favorite season?

I don’t think I have a favourite season! Now that I’m older I can appreciate each season as it comes and I have certain things that I love about each! Rn I can’t wait to start wearing cute sweaters and boots again, but at the end of Spring I was dying for shorts and vests!

Woo! I’m finished! Now I’m going back to sleep for a quick nap! And then off to the cinema! YAY!

#questions #tagged #tag game

0 notes