#sure a couple things could’ve been done better but like I’m always down for a farming sim game
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I played Wylde Flowers when it came out on switch and I loved it! That being said the idea of walking around in winter in a dress made me cringe so I wanted to draw some more weather-appropriate outfits for her
(and situationally-appropriate, girl I know you’re sad but you can’t just sleep in a leather jacket)
#art#my art#tara wylde#wylde flowers#switch games#nintendo switch#apple arcade#apple arcade games#this may strike a few as off-color for me#even though I’ve only made like 5 posts to this account so far#but I really liked this game!#sure a couple things could’ve been done better but like I’m always down for a farming sim game#plus magic and hot lesbians? sign me UP 😤#and like these designs were actually really fun I may do some for the rest of the characters#because like the fashion game in fairhaven is very much lacking
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Crash and Burn 5
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Tony Stark
Summary: a powerful man comes crashing into your life. Literally.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
You sit on the back porch, reading a book as you avoid the dingy tabacco laden walls inside. After claiming a couple slices of pizza, you quickly evacuated, your mom latched onto your guest like gum beneath a diner table. You're happy enough to be alone.
You just want it all done with. You want to be done with him.
Your mom just needs to do one thing. Get the trailer and be done with the man overdosing on his own ego. She's never been on to let things go, especially nothing like this.
The screen door opens and closes. You stay as you are.
“Your chariot awaits, princess,” Tony declares as he approaches. You look up as he stands behind you.
“What do you mean?” You close the book and stand, not liking how his pant leg touches your arm. You face him as his mouth slants, the silver in his goatee catching the dimming sunlight.
“Me. Gonna take you for another ride.” He rests his hand on the wooden railing as you stand on the step below.
“No,” you say bluntly. “I have work tomorrow so I need to go get ready for bed.”
“What’s the matter? If you don’t like pepperoni, you could’ve said something,” he tilts his head. "I thought you had extensive experience with meat... workong in a deli and all."
“Really? You know this isn’t about the pizza,” you sneer.
“I know what it’s about as well as you.” He steps closer and looks down at you. “It’s this.”
He swirls his finger between you.
You narrow your eyes and grimace. “This... what?”
“Sexual tension. It’s like a noose, isn’t it? I’m close to gagging.”
You glare back at him, “you really believe every woman on earth wants you?”
“I know it so let's stop fucking around just get to the fucking.” He winks.
You laugh. A snort then a scoff then a guffaw. “Wow, what a line. Look you can buy us pizza and replace what you owe us but I'm nor impressed. You city people think we're all just a bunch of trailer trash and maybe we are, doesn't mean we wanna be like you.”
“Oh, but you definitely want me,” he intones.
You sigh, “I want to go to my room and never see you again.”
“I like that. The hard-to-get thing always gets me going.” He gets closer and you lean away.
“The hard to stand thing doesn't do it for me,” you retort. “Thanks for doing the bare minimum but I'm over it. Either we get what you destroyed or you go back and laugh at your little mistake with your rich buddies.”
“You're sounding bitter, sweetheart. Why don't you let me give you some sugar?” He reaches for you and you dodge his hand.
“Please, quit that. I told you, I am not into it.”
“You aren't? Well your mom sure is. Yeah, we made quite the deal. She's going to get her trailer and an empty nest.” He puts his hands out in nonchalance, “what can I say? I'm a great negotiator.”
“What–”
“Well, I mean you're not going anywhere here. Working at a deli and for what? I told her, you don't gotta be stuck here. Eating off her table, living under her roof. You're an adult.” He crosses his arms and smirks.
Yep, that sounds like your mom. She's reminded you a billion times how you've burdened her with your existence, just as your grandmother does to her. And he plucked on that string until he hit a harmony.
“What did you do?” You ask.
“You make it sound like I did something wrong. Sweetheart, I'm doing you a favour. I'm getting you out of this pit. A girl like you, you can't hope for better because I'll tell you something, there's nothing out there better than Tony Stark.”
He preens in victory. You squint and clap the book against your leg.
“Come on, everyone should see New York at least once,” he tries to tap your nose and you evade him, but not entirely. Instead, he hits your chest and you feel a sudden constriction across it.
Your ripped up by your chest as metal expands and twists around your torso. You shriek as you fly upwards, encased in a cocoon the blocks out the wind. The propulsion of the suit has you disoriented and rattling.
You hear a whir and look over to see the marquee red and gold of the iconic Iron Man. Tony grabs you, your gauntlet caught against his like a magnet, and he zooms off onto sky, dragging you with him. You cry out as you can do nothing but flail.
“Relax, sweetheart,” he voice comes through the speakers built into the helmet, “you don't wanna pass out in this thing. Trust me.”
“What the hellllllll!” You holler.
“Just wait till you see that New York skyline,” he chortles.
Your disbelief paralyses you. How can he do this? Well, you can't stop him. He's been enabled his whole life and you've just become another pawn to his games.
#tony stark#dark tony stark#dark!tony stark#tony stark x reader#series#drabble#crash and burn#iron man#avengers#mcu#marvel
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‘OURS’
Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.
INDEX
Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!
Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)
Chapter 7 - Gonna Be Okay | ‘Ours’
You and Trent were just in the Maldives splitting banana gelato, clinking spoons as the sun set down the western horizon on a perfect night. Okay, you were eating it all but besides the point. You were sitting yapping with pride about how you never really fought. No couple had ever been so compatible. How perfectly suited you were and retrospectively how perfectly naive. Fast forward and you were in huff in the kitchen because he had promised to refill the dogs water bowls and hadn’t. He left for training completely oblivious that he had forgotten. You were slamming cabinet doors frustrated in a rage. This had become a daily occurrence. Not specifically filling water bowls but just small things had you almost in tears. What had happened. Teddy was a little over a month old. You wouldn’t say things had calmed down with her but there was definitely more of a routine. Although that routine consisted of you and Trent suppressing a lot of issues you were having. It was all about Teddy. All the time. Becoming parents had put a strain on your relationship you weren’t expecting and definitely we’re ignoring. Part of the problem was that you both were exhausted. You had so much less time with each other and much less time for other people after she arrived. Everyday felt like a broken record and broken it was. It was so unusual for you two to work around each other like this as opposed to working together. You always had such good communication, such empathy and understanding but right now… you weren’t sure you'd had a real conversation in about 2 days. You’d never gone this long. The awkwardness was palpable but your schedules made it so you didn’t really even have the space let alone the energy to deal with it.
“T… I’m not just going to stay home and wait for you to be done.” You quipped turning to the refrigerator to grab a water to hand to him. That was the other problem that made this all so easy to ignore. You still so obviously cared for each other. The love never went anywhere so you were still doing a lot of the same things just with a ton of resentment.
“Baby, this is such a bad time for this. I’m literally walking out the house right now.” He calmly said back but you knew what that meant. It was the politest way he could say ‘shut up, I don’t want to talk about this’ Next thing you knew he was gone, out the front door for another away game. You stood cradling Teddy with tears threatening to spill over. God, you were so fucking tired. You prayed things would just sort themselves on their own. When Trent came back things didn’t snap back to normal like you had hoped. It had been days since he returned and you’d both been busy. There was minimal communication outside of ‘can you feed her’ or ‘can you change her’ One more thing that definitely was causing issues was your sleeping arrangement. You couldn’t remember the last time you even cuddled.
“We need to sit down and talk about this, Trent. We can’t fall apart now.” You nervously spoke up coming round the couch to stand in front of him blocking the tv.
“Baby…” he sighed with a puppy dog face. His lips falling into the perfect pout he knew would get his way. He was never good with confrontation and boy did he have the face to get out of it but you had had enough.
“No. No. This is not how this is going to go.” You wiped away tears of frustration that started to build. You were mad you felt so emotional while he sat stoic as ever. “We need a real discussion. Like real adults, Trent. We’re fucking parents, now. We can’t just pretend nothing is going on.” You snapped a little. You had just put Teddy down for a nap so despite the heat of your words your voice was low and soft not wanting to wake her. Whether or not he wanted to admit it or talk about it, Trent felt sidelined while you concentrated mainly on Teddy. Just the same as he felt ignored, sitting on the bench, you felt you had completely disappeared. Everyone focused solely on your baby. Your life had dwindled down to only care and feed for Teddy rather than be a partner or person in your own right.
“I’m really fucking tired Trent… you go and you work out or whatever, let out all your stress out, see your friends and I’m here! I’m here all the fucking time. I can’t leave the house.” You yelled in the quietest way possible. Inside you were fuming as the words came out. It hit you that you couldn’t remember the last time you had left the house without Teddy or not for Teddy. He hated that you were using his first name. He gave you this confused look as to why you thought he wasn’t living this experience of being a new parent with you.
“Why are you trying to keep score?” He flicked his eyes up to you as you stood there in the living room with your hands on your hips. You felt like your knees were going to give out from either exhaustion or desperation but you gave off the appearance of being incredibly strong in the moment.
“Trent! “ you yelped, feeling defeated already by his response. He threw his head to the side, annoyed you kept calling him that and it definitely wasn’t being said in a good way. “When you have a match… ugh! We’re not even sleeping together in the same bed anymore because I have to wake up to feed her and I can’t mess up your schedule for games!” You cried.
“Yeah, go on Y/N. Just keep piling it on. I know, I know I’m not home a lot. I know” He said it with such a harsh tone. You’d give it to him Trent had some drama and sass to him. A bit of a bite you rarely were on this end of. Usually his smart mouth brought humor but this… this was not funny.
“That’s not fair!” You whimpered out. Rubbing your hands over your face beginning to rock back and forth filled with nerves unsure where this conversation was even going.
“It’s so I can provide for you, Y/N. Why don’t you realize that?” He threw the first name seriousness back at you. His eyes widened in disbelief, shocked you couldn’t see what he did for you, sacrificed for you. He gave up so much of his time away from his new born baby to give you the comfortable life you lived but just the same he couldn’t see what you had been sacrificing. “You wanted to have this baby too, Y/N.” He lashed out sitting forward more towards the edge of the couch. His puppy dog face had completely vanished a long time ago. He looked at you like he hated you. You knew he didn’t but right now you weren’t in the frame of mind to have that clear of thinking.
“Stop… do not go there. That’s fucked up and a line you can’t cross.” You were more upset now and rightfully so. Bringing the topic of having Teddy into this was unfair and uncalled for. The second he said it Trent felt a pit in his stomach. You stormed out of the room holding back tears till you were alone and far away enough for him not to hear. He wanted to take it back. He wanted to chase after you and hug you until you forgave him and made up. He wanted to go back to when you could just fuck this out and physically turn a lot of anger into a lot of love. That wasn’t going to happen. This was a battle of words. He knew things were bad, he knew what he said wasn’t great but he didn’t know hot to get to you without messing things up further so he kept his distance. After that squabble it was just days of awkward kitchen run ins. The only time you really spoke were in cutesy voices to Teddy who thankfully you assumed was oblivious to it all. She was maybe 40 days old. It wasn't like she could really pick up on the tension when you asked Trent if he had run the dishwasher but you didn’t want her around this negative vibe for long. You’d never experienced this type of long term strain with him. You never pinned either of you to be the type to hold a grudge but you both felt you had respective points to be made and wouldn’t let go. Once again, Trent had an away game and you murmured a feisty sarcastic ‘of course’ when he told you he was leaving the house. It was unnecessary so he ignored it and told you he loved you anyway. He still meant it, he just didn’t exactly love how cold you’d been towards him lately. It was before he was boarding his flight to come back home when you FaceTimed him. You were putting Teddy to bed. It was routine and just because you weren’t getting along didn’t mean you were going to deprive Teddy of seeing her dad before sleep. Your eyes were practically shutting from lack of sleep while Trent babbled to her.
“You know who’s just as perfect as you, baby bear? Your mummy.” You heard it and furrowed your brow. Were you crazy? Did he not know you had been fighting? You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, baby we gotta get through this.” He tried to get you to loosen your grip on the whole thing but you weren’t having it. Trent just wanted to brush over this, move and put a plaster over it. He wanted you back in his arms desperately. After you hung up you definitely felt a little bit guilty. You knew he was trying his best. It was just Trent’s way. All he wanted to do was love you but you needed something different than that right now. In a fun twist, it was Trent’s birthday this week. You couldn’t have felt more awkward about it. Truthfully and deep down you knew this fighting was temporary and you loved him so you didn’t want to taint a day you had the opportunity to really show him how much you did love him but you were stubborn. You didn’t want to be the one to say sorry first and you certainly were not going to go the rest of your life as a mother like this, you needed a conversation. Per usual as of late, you awkwardly both got ready in your wardrobe together. He asked what you wanted him to wear. Normally the task would excite you. You loved dressing him. He didn’t really mind either way even though he looked significantly better when you did. You could tell this was some sort of olive branch but it wasn’t enough. You just dragged your hand over the closet full of his tops lazily pulling out a Rhude t-shirt to hand to him. He gave a half assed smile disappointed his effort didn’t do anything. You put on a tanish grey linen off the shoulder mini dress. You actually liked it and felt okay in it. The dress was doing a lot considering you jusstttt had Teddy. He zipped your dress. His hands on your cold skin made you shiver. It was strange that his touch made you feel that way. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You selected a pair of heels you hadn’t been able to wear since before you were pregnant. They just ran narrow and your swollen feet weren’t having it. You picked out a purse you bought in a pregnant haze. It was insanely kitschy and looked like a takeout box but it happened to be almost £2,000 from YSL. Trent probably gave into cravings in a different way than most people. You had bought some ridiculous things while pregnant but it was still cute. You stood in the mirror inspecting the full outfit.
“You look good.” Trent muttered out seeing you as he sat on the bed waiting for you. He meant it. He never said stuff like that if he didn’t. Dianne was coming over to take care of Teddy. You were not thrilled about leaving her but you wouldn’t be out long. It’s not like you and Trent were exactly eager to spend alone time together despite it being much needed. You had made a reservation at a Sushi place you went to when you celebrated his birthday on your first visit. It was sweet in theory but now it just rubbed it in how much things had changed.
“Tuna roll?” He asked you, inspecting the menu even though you both knew exactly what you were getting. You could recite his sushi order backwards. You were excited to finally have sushi again so as much as this was for Trent it was a little for you too. You ate your meal talking about basic things you might talk to a neighbor about, fairly generic for two people that lived together, that loved each other. You had ordered a special roll Trent was too scared to try but you made him have a piece anyway. He liked it and a while later he plucked another piece off your plate with his chopsticks. You widened your eyes at him, your jaw slacked. He gave you a cheeky grin with his cheeks full as he chewed. You kept eating until he did it again. You had now given him half of your order.
“T! Stop!” You giggled. He was so annoying and you hated how cute he was every time he was being a pest.
“I’ll buy you more, beautiful.” He cooed, taking a fourth of your six piece roll. You laughed at him shaking your head. It kind of felt like you were just beginning to date again. He was flirting with you and it made your heart flutter. You looked at him and watched in what felt like slow motion his big hand reach across the table to wipe a bit of soy sauce that had rested atop your lips. The feeling of his fingers on your lips, near your mouth, had your heart racing. Images of times he pushed his fingers in your mouth while he fucked you flashed in your mind. There was something about Trent in a white t-shirt. He just looked so fresh and clean. Sexy. It made you think of the first time you gave him head you remember watching his back muscles dance as he pulled the white t-shirt over his golden brown skin. You had hummed at the image.
“At a white t-shirt?” He questioned what you were possibly so enamored with.
“No, you in a clean white t-shirt after I just had your cock in my mouth” You corrected him. He couldn’t hold the grin back. He walked back over to you holding the pair of camouflage pants he was going to wear.
“It’s so good. I like this one. You always know the hits.” His voice cut off your moment of reverie. He was really fucking handsome. As messy and tense as things had been you’d never not be attracted to him and that only made it that much annoying when he did stupid shit. As you drove towards home it was like the mood lowered with every passing mile. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to get back to Teddy. You actually felt like you could burst with the need to get her back in your arms. It just was that this dinner was some sort of escape from the reality of things. There weren’t dog’s water bowls he could forget to fill at the restaurant.
It had been almost two months post birth and you really didn’t want to nor have any desire to have sex. You thought about his body that way for sure, but the idea of him touching your body was hard to imagine. Previously, sex was what birthdays between you and Trent consisted of and you loved it. It was fun and hot. A time to try things out, spend all day in bed but you were so exhausted and frankly sore. Your body felt anything but sexy… it felt gross like it wasn’t actually yours anymore. You often felt touched out at the end of the day. You had a baby on you practically 24/7. Sex was the last thing on your mind leaving Trent feeling fairly neglected and rejected. It was the perfect storm. You barely were sleeping together so the second you were he wanted to be all over you and the second he was you just wanted to be alone. You went to bed that night, backs facing one another with your arms slightly outstretched towards the middle of the bed linking pinkies not okay with being completely out of reach from the other. It was strange but gave you a tinge of hope. You laid in bed the next day and got to sleep in. Trent handled morning duties with Teddy. He even took her for a walk in her pram just to get her outside.
“She’s down for her nap.” He came back into your bedroom a while later. You just hummed.
“I’ll feed her when she wakes up again.” You practically scoffed at him for no reason. It was uncalled for but you just felt so annoyed. What were you two doing… it felt so unnecessary and yet you couldn’t get over the hurdle. Trent stared at you in bed. He didn’t like what he saw. He knew you, he knew your body so well and yet you almost looked foreign. You were limp, crashed into the bed, face first into the pillows, barely under the covers. It made him terribly sad. As hard headed as Trent could be, he wasn’t dumb. He was a really empathetic person; he just needed a minute to sort out his own emotions. He needed to really get a good look at you again. Like right now, it was like something changed. Like he finally understood what was going on.
“Y/N…” he cooed softly sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. He very cautiously reached his hand out to stroke your arm. You felt cold. He shut his eyes, hating how things had been. You had just become a family, welcomed your baby girl together and yet you had never felt less like one. He kissed the back of your arm. You shivered feeling the lips you absolutely adored for the first time in a while. You missed him. “I want to make things better. I’m really sorry. Can we talk?” He nervously murmured out. A barely there subtle soft smile pulled on your face. You knew you would get to the point of having a calm discussion about what’s been going on. You didn’t think it would take so long and honestly you didn’t think it’d be him to initiate it but it didn’t matter. You sat back against the headboard of your bed and pulled your knees to your chest. You looked at him closely inspecting his face to see if it had changed any since you last had a proper look. It hadn’t. His eyes still had a warm honey hue in the light, lips still perfectly plump, his skin annoyingly smooth despite minimal effort. His amber smell wafted towards you.
“I’m sorry too, baby.” You looked at him with obvious pain in your eyes. When he heard the pet name he knew you had to just make it through this conversation and everything would be a lot better.
“I know I should know and understand without having to do this but can you explain to me what you’ve been feeling? I want to hear you out so I can be better. Just tell me what I need to do to get things back on track. How do I do more than I’m doing? I feel exhausted.” He babled a little feeling just as nervous as you. His words kind of broke your heart. He really was trying his best. He didn’t know how to do anything different yet.
“T… I know you do a lot for me, for her, for us but as much as it is work for you… you do get to leave here everyday. You get the escape. I know you think about us when you’re not here” he nodded, confirming he definitely did think about you but he didn’t want to interrupt you so he stayed silent. “Just consider for even the 90 minutes when you are fully focused on a match. As you should be, I’m not saying otherwise. That's 90 minutes I’m alone, with her, at home, and unfortunately still dealing with a lot of the physical aftermath as well. Like my body is in so much discomfort and pain and I have her on me constantly. I don’t mean to sound patronizing but you could never understand how I feel in my own body right now… and that’s just the some odd 90 minutes we’re talking about not all the days you’re away for” your eyes started to welle. “I need you to support me a little here.” Your voice was shaky. Trent reached out and grabbed your hands.
“I want to support you, baby I’m so sorry.” He quivered, upset you had been feeling this way. “I hate that I wasn’t thinking about things that way. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, what you went through to give us our family. I think I pull out this card that I am providing for you because it’s one of the only things I can give back to you. Only thing I know I can control and contribute. You give me so much, you gave me her. It’s hard because I know the way you provide for me is something I’ll never be able to reciprocate.” He stared at your intertwined hands unable to look you in the eyes. “I do think about you 24/7. I feel like I’m gonna cry when I pull out of the driveway and it’s not just about leaving Teddy, it's leaving you. It’s different now, leaving. I feel like I’m letting you down when I go. It was easier for me lately just to shut it out and not tell you that because I feel so guilty. Everytime I’m on the pitch laughing I just hope you’re at home laughing with her.” He tried to explain his rational and you understood.
“T, that’s the problem though. I don't want to be at home all the time. I don’t want you to feel guilty, baby, either but we really need to find a way to help the other person with what they’re going through. We’re both doing this for the first time and it’s really fucking hard” your voice was shaking realizing just how difficult things had been.
“We work a lot better together. I’m not keen on the whole opposing sides thing. How do we figure this out?” You knew Trent was very action oriented so you thought for a moment how to explain things.
“Okay…erm like I need to go get my hair done. Can you please actually tell me you’re taking her. Not go to your mums… like you, baby. Take her, don’t offer. She’s your baby too. And honestly, not even just going to do my hair, even showers at home, T. During the day if you’re here. She’s like glue… constantly stuck to me.” You giggled a little bit thinking about your baby girl’s clinginess.
“She’s cute glue to be fair” he laughed and it shattered your heart in the best way. He hadn’t laughed with you since dinner. You shook your head with a smile knowing that was half the issue here. Teddy was so cute, everything had just been glossed over every time she batted her eyes. “But I understand, baby.”
“How can I help you, T?” you asked, moving your hand to his thigh. Your touch sent electricity coursing through his body. He was staring at your hand on him before his eyes flickered up to lock with yours he gave you the most beautiful smile you loved. Childish, full.
“You know, maybe you can drive me AXA or come see me. I don’t mean to make it about footie but it’s where I have to be for almost 7 days a week. I want to see her. I want to see you.” He looked scared to even bring up football at the moment but he was right it was his whole life.
“I got it. We can do that. Would be nice. Little carpool… drop daddy off.” You cooed with a giggle bobbing back and forth on the bed thinking about it. You could feel the air lifting and lightening as you continued breaking down how to be more supportive. You talked for ages outlining things you both needed help with. “We can do this, hmm? “ you said apprehensively. He winked at you and your heart skipped a beat. You much preferred when you were on good terms. You gave him a childish smile. Both shy and confident about being able to figure this out with him.
“There she is.” He cooed, stroking his thumb over your full cheek. “My beautiful girl. I love you so so much. I’m sorry, baby. Honest. C’mere.” He pulled you into him and you felt your whole body relax. Relax more than it had in months. “We’re gonna be okay.” He kissed you. You felt a shiver run up your spine in the best way. You felt relief.
“And on cue… she’s nothing but persistent” you giggled hearing Teddy coo over the baby monitor. Trent kissed you again. He started to stand up from his seat on the bed.
“You want to shower? I’ll go get her.” He asked you genuinely serious.
“Funny…” you quipped back not amused with the joke you thought he was making.
“I’m serious! If we’re gonna do this you have to at least let me help you!” He laughed at you. He pulled you by your hands up from the bed. He placed his own hands on your shoulders and walked you into the en-suite.
“Okay, okay, I can do it.” You wiggled out of his hold and began to pull off your clothes. Laughing as your dragged your top over your head.
“So difficult” he teased with a similar laugh squeezing your now bare sides. He began to walk out of the bathroom.
“Hey T…” you stared in the mirror back at him. He turned around with a hum. “I love you, baby.” You said sheepishly but still very sure of it. He nodded with a soft sympathetic smile. “Could we maybe do a birthday redo today with Ted?”
“I love you more than anything in the world, beautiful. Absolutely, you girls going to to take me out?” He thought he was so so funny all the time. The corniness was half the charm. He just was cute and simultaneously sexy.
“Just so annoying all the time.”you joked as he walked a little closer to you before he smushed another wet kiss onto your cheek that you loved. When he came back in with Teddy already dressed, ready to go, you knew things were going to be fine. You both were just new at this whole parenting thing. Trent drove down into the city center and you felt so incredibly domestic going on a family outing. You decided on something low key and normal so you went out to get coffees and walk the docks.
“I haven’t been down here for ages.” He spoke into the crisp fall air. He pushed Teddy’s Dior pram back and forth as you sat outside at a little coffee place you loved.
“You’ve been missing out on a very good croissant” you mumbled with your mouth full.
“Clearly.” He laughed at you before pulling a hearty piece from your croissant to pop in his mouth.
“Me and Marce used to come here all the time, you know?” You kept talking. You weren’t even sure he knew that. So it made you smile to connect again. Talk about things and open up.
“You two do so much shit without me” Trent feigned jealousy but as much as he joked you knew he actually did feel a little envious of all the relaxed down time you and his brothers shared together.
“We’ll start being bad at your job and maybe you wouldn’t have to play in Europe all the time, you could hang with us.” You teased leaning over to check on Teddy.
“You know you maybe should’ve been a comedian, baby. Just hilarious all the time. So funny. I’m dying of laughter.” He said with a completely straight face. You could tell though he was making a big effort not to crack a smile at you. “What do you think, Ted? Is mummy funny?” Trent cocked his head to look at her. She just wiggled in her seat excited she was getting attention from him. She loved anytime Trent even walked into a room let alone paid her mind. You grabbed her tiny hand gently folding it into a thumbs up and showed it to him. He rolled his eyes at you.
“You said that on our first date too and I think I proved you wrong. I am funny. You do think I am whether you want to admit it.” You teased referring to when you met outside your apartment for the first time telling him you would have to take the subway to dinner.
“You’re not as funny as you think” he quipped. You walked next to him up to the corner of your block towards the restaurant.
A lot of memories came up lately just because of the massive change you were experiencing. A part of you felt like you were mourning the loss of the juvenile versions of yourselves who didn’t have a care in the world. Your only concern was being each other's arms and the painstaking moments between kisses. Now… now you had a life you had to support, a human to raise. You reached across the table and grabbed Trent’s hand. You ran your fingers back and forth over his knuckles. He smiled at you and picked his hand up with yours. He pressed his lips lightly to your skin. You picked your head up to look at the water, as a boat further out in the river coasted by. You clocked a man taking a photo of Trent as you sat at the table outside the cafe.
“Seriously, if only you were bad at your job.” You nodded subtly towards the man. Trent turned to see him after your gesture. He looked back at you with an apologetic look. He was just trying to spend time with you and Teddy so when the man came over it was a little awkward but he was still really kind and patient. Trent really didn’t want a photo of Teddy out yet though so he politely declined the photo.
“Sorry, mate, I’d love to but I’m with my family right now. It was lovely to meet you though. Thank you for all your support.” Trent spoke low, not trying to draw more attention to himself in downtown Liverpool.
“You can.” You whispered with a nod of approval not minding if he took a photo.
“Ahhh yeah alright lad, you know what we’ll take one quick. Face this way.” Trent turned so the city was behind them in the photo, not you and Teddy. He winked at you. You picked up Teddy from her pram and kept her tight to your chest, rocking her gently.
You went home and ate dinner at your dinning room table with your family. You couldn’t believe you had a family now but you were just happy that you and Trent were back to the place you were in before. You made the cake you previously had planned to with the help of some grubby fingers taste tasting and they weren’t Teddy’s. You had given Trent his presents on his actually birthday but this felt more important, more special. You wanted to make Trent something from scratch. You grew up with the luxury of learning how to bake and cook, not needing to. Your mum brought you with her to France to take some classes for your 16th birthday once and you found you had a knack for it. It was a good cake to be honest, a take on funfetti. You had shown Trent funfetti when you were on a trip back in the US once and he just loved it so that was that. Birthday cake decision made. You placed birthday candles in the cake and dimmed the lights in your dining room and sang happy birthday to him swaying with your baby girl. When you finished and he blew out his candles he pulled you into his lap. You sat down nuzzling your face into his neck.
“Happy Birthday Daddy, we love you so much, T.” You kissed his neck again and again. Teddy attempted a giggle and a smile fascinated with the noise of your lips peeling on and off his skin. “Say happy birthday dada” you cooed squishing Teddy’s cheeks together with one hand gently. She squealed. You both laughed at her excitement.
“Thank you my beautiful girls. You’re my whole world. I love you both so much.” He gave Teddy a big kiss and you pouted at him as you waited for yours. Teddy wasn’t sleeping through the night but her naps were getting longer you guessed. You and Trent laid her down for what Trent was hoping to be an especially long one.
“Did I tell you how sexy you looked today?” He whispered in your ear with a cheeky nibble to your earlobe as you walked down the hallway. His arms hung around your frame heavily. You rolled your eyes swatting at his arm.
“C’mon, baby. How often do I tell you you’re sexy? I need you to know how sexy you are.” He cooed as you entered your bedroom. He plopped onto the edge of the bed and you went to follow him for a cuddle. You wanted to be close to him. Finally back in each others good graces you wanted to feel connected. Trent did too just in a different way. He held his hand out to stop you from coming closer. You cocked your head confused. You backed up a few steps and stared at him waiting for him to tell you some sort of direction.
“Lemme see. I know you. Lemme see what you have on today.” He spoke with a tone that sent the most excited shiver running down your spine, your pussy throbbed. You gradually began to pull your clothes off, layer by layer. You stripped for him. You giggled at the way it made you feel. Trent had a way of making you feel sexy without even touching you. The way his jaw slacked. You turned away from him to slide off the trousers you had on, bending over. He groaned throwing his head back as you spun around for him. He shook his head in disbelief of your figure. “Still my birthday?” You nodded with a shy smile. “Lay down for me…” so you followed instructions. He watched you lay back on the bed. To be fair you hadn’t really thought of doing this tonight but regardless you always liked to get undressed in front of Trent revealing little lingerie sets and he knew you did it for him. You wouldn’t even turn to acknowledge him as you’d lean over the bathroom sink counter in different colored lace every day just for show. He climbed over you and looped his finger under the middle of the sheer black Gucci bralette you’d chosen for today. Your breath hitched. Okay, now you were definitely thinking about it. You were praying he’d be gentle with you since this would be your first time after Teddy but also funnily with the lingerie too; you liked it and it was expensive. You’d lost too many pairs of panties over your relationship with him to tears. He looked down at you with a look you forgot made your heart race. He kissed your ankle. “I love these legs, I love these thighs.” He worked kisses all over and up your whole body. “I love this hip, this stomach..” he kissed every bit of you. You couldn’t get enough of falling back into the swing of things with him.
“Baby, be gentle with me, okay?” You said to him with fear in your eyes. You sighed a little embarrassed. He just looked at you in adoration.
“I’ll take care of you, yeah? I always do. Make you remember just how beautiful I think you are.” He whispered into your ear. The vibration alone made goosebumps raise on your skin. You had the biggest fucking smile on your face after he said that. You knew you were in for a treat. Sex with Trent was something you hoped you would never struggle with. His hand lightly grabbed your jaw pulling you into a kiss. His plump soft lips feeling as perfect as ever. He dragged his hand down your throat and you moaned missing this feeling. This feeling of Trent in total control of you. He kept his hands on you and over you before he cheekily pitched your nipples.
“Oh, fuckkk” you yelped out incredibly sensitive and incredibly turned on.
“Open your mouth f’me, beautiful.” He cooed and without needing to think you did. Your eyes widened in awe of how sexy he looked above you. His other hand beginning to work his length. You sucked around his fingers licking the underside like you would his cock. He abruptly pulled them out and guided them down to your pussy. He ran his fingers through your folds before he began to slowly pump two thick digits inside of you. “Fuck, baby. I missed this pussy. Feel so good already” his voice rumbled in the quiet room as his thumb stretched up to roll over your clit.
“C’mere baby. You’re so fucking soaked I bet I could just…” he dragged his tip through your wet pussy. You weren’t expecting to be as wet as you were but it was Trent you shouldn’t have been all that surprised. “You’re so beautiful and all mine” he paused perfectly, lining up his cock with your entrance and suddenly all of the air slipped out of your lungs. He was on his knees in front of you holding your one leg up as you laid back into the mattress. His firm grip around you doing most of the work.
“Oh my fucking god, T…” Oh my god was right. You could never forget how good the sex was but this. This felt really fucking good. Your eyes fluttered closed as he slowly pushed deeper, sticking to his promise to be gentle. You gasped feeling his length. You cupped his scruffy cheeks. You blew out short breaths as you tried to adjust to his size.
“I love you so much, you know that right?” He whispered again. He felt good but also slightly uncomfortable and strangely new again. He sank his body weight down on top of you so that he became your entire focus trying to not let your mind spiral into anxiety about what he thought you felt like after your baby. You could only nod. You breathed heavily. Your legs wrapped around his arm curling to hook around it, shutting your eyes in pleasure.
“I love you, T.” You whined as you felt your legs tremble already. He nuzzled impossibly deeper. You blinked your eyes open. You locked with his deep brown eyes, soft and sensitive filled with sincerity. You tried to makeout with him needing to feel those lips on yours but you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think let alone multitask as he began to thrust into you slowly. You were anxious to do this but frankly, Trent felt unbelievable and if possible maybe somehow better than that. Being back inside you had his head spinning. His heart faltered a little seeing your beautiful face scrunch up. His body weight further pressed onto you while he scooped his arm under your other leg holding it up closer to your chest Your nails dug into his biceps leaving crescent marks. You whined a sound that was music to his ears. You found a rhythm that worked for you. A rhythm that made your slightly enlarged boobs bounce more for him.
“God, I love your tits, baby.” He said it with a smile eliciting a giggle from you at the compliment. Sex had never felt better emotionally. Your eyes started to water. You felt so in love with him. “You okay, baby? Tell me you’re okay. Tell me you want this?." You really did appreciate his concern; it was just hard to talk at the moment. He leaned closer to your neck licking over your most sensitive spots waiting for a response. “Hmm?”
“I want you, T. You just feel really good.” You whimpered. Tears filled your lash line so he slowed. “Please, T… more.” His eyes widened. He was nervous his current pace was already too much so it was a surprise to hear.
“I'm right here. You have me.” His face was hovering over yours. He managed to give you the kisses you so desperately wanted all over your face, your neck, your shoulders underneath him. You clenched around him. He felt it and almost giggled. He was excited to have this power back. “You wanna be a good girl and cum for me, baby?”
“I’m gonna cum. Please. Please, T. Make me cum.” You moaned as he pushed a little deeper inside with every thrust. A familiar but distant feeling crashed over you. Your brain turning to mush. His cock throbbed inside you. He grunted overwhelmed seeing you cum under him once again. He could imagine it all he wanted but he missed seeing it in real time. “T… cum inside me again, okay? Make me take all of it. I want it. Cum for me.” You whined more. He let out a strained breath. That was it for him. Knowing you missed this. That you wanted this. Wanted him. He tipped over the edge, pumping you full of his cum. With one more final deep thrust he ran his hands through your hair grabbing it pulling your head forward into the most passionate kiss you might’ve ever shared. The tension you had felt the past few weeks evaporated. You stayed tight to his body as you breathed heavily. You both were panting as he leaned his forehead on yours before he as tender as possible pulled out. He sat back for a moment and admired you. Stroking up your thigh gingerly, he breathed out a sigh of appreciation.
“Can you be a good girl f’me and spread your legs.” He asked so kindly you did it almost instinctively. “Fucking unreal. Every day since I met you.” He kissed from your stomach up to your neck nuzzling his face in his hands trailing behind his tongue the whole way. You thought you’d cuddle till Teddy woke up but you were wrong. You spread your legs the best you could. Trent cursed. His fingers traced through your folds gathering up the cum. He swiftly and slowly dipped two of his fingers inside of you. The sensation was so overwhelming and overstimulating. He pumped them methodically, deep, curling inside you.
“Wait.. wait baby. Ah!” You whined. Your hips bucking up into him.
“Gimme one more, baby.” He asked as he nibbled on your neck. You couldn’t handle the feeling. It was too much and you had poor control. You came hard and fast, squirting a little.
“Fuck… T” You panted so heavily. Completely out of breath. You just laid there eyes closed as your chest heaved up and down. You needed a moment. He laughed and frantically laid down next to you pretty proud of his work. You were tangled up in bed until you heard the little coo and whine you loved so much.
“Lemme go check on her, you stay put. I bet you’re tired.” Trent winked at you and as annoying as his playful comment was, it was very true. He pulled on his boxers and sweats and walked down the hallway into Teddy’s nursery.
“Baby bear, you okay?” Trent cooed, scooping Teddy up gently as her cries lulled. He hummed, swaying back and forth. “Wish you could tell me what you’d need. I’d do it right away, you know that?” He pressed his lips to her identical ones. “‘My little Ted. You’re so beautiful. You look like me, but I can’t tell you’re perfect just like mummy, baby girl” he whispered softly to her. It was a while later and you still laid in bed expecting to have fallen right to sleep after all that with Trent but you couldn’t knowing your two favorite people in the world were still awake just down the hall. You got up and put on a little gray sleep set. It was comfortable and that’s just what your body needed right now because you definitely were sore.
“I felt left out.” You pouted in the doorway of Teddy’s room looking at Trent reading her a book. He picked his head up with a soft smile and beckoned you over to sit on the couch with them. Teddy’s face lit up.
“Oh wow… you excited to see mummy, huh teddy girl? Weren’t that excited to see me.” Trent teased. You slapped at his bare chest before grabbing her. She hiccuped overly excited. Her head fell onto you. You hummed kissing her chubby cheek . “I like this.” He pulled on the fabric of the tiny shorts you were in. You shrugged.
“You can continue. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” You giggled a little. You smushed your face into Trent’s arm ruining your view of the colorful book but making a better one for her. You pushed your lips to kiss Trent as he read. The sound of his voice was perfect, calm and steady. It lulled you into an incredibly sleepy state. Trent plucked Teddy out of your tired arms to hold her more securely. He wrapped his free arm around you and pulled you into him. Your head fell onto his shoulder. You hugged his waist tightly.
“My girls. Hmm?” He cooed, pressing a kiss to you and Teddy. You fell asleep listening to him. He let you and Teddy sleep on him for a while. He just relaxed, closing his eyes, happy with the affection, rubbing his hands up your back. Some time later Teddy woke up and was restless. Her little grunts and whines woke you up. “You wanna feed Ted then you and me can go try to get in bed?” Trent cooed with a sympathetic smile knowing you were exhausted. You nodded still half asleep but you understood. Sticking to your schedule was important for all of you. It took longer than expected to get her fed and down again but you did it. You draped your arms around Trent’s shoulders just staring up at him tired in her room. He pressed his nose to yours. His hands cheekily sliding over your ass. He kneaded it, raising up the material of your shorts. He pulled you closer into his embrace. He cupped your ass and picked you up from under your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist.
“We’re actually going to bed… like sleep, right?” You cooed as Trent walked you back to your room in his arms. He laughed a little. You were nervous with the way his hands were on you if he was trying to have sex again and you were sure you could handle that yet.
“Yeah. We need to sleep. I have to go in tomorrow at 10 too.” He cooed as you stroked your thumb over his cheek. You pushed your face into the nape of his neck until he placed you on your bed. “Baby, we’re gonna be okay. I promise we’ll work on this together. I won’t let us get that way again. I know we’ll have our dips but we’re just learning to grow together.”
“I agree. Just have to talk more I think. I’m sorry I didn’t express how I felt. It’s unfair to assume you should know how I feel without me verbalizing it, that you know what is going on when we’re both doing this for the first time.” He shook his head dismissing your apology. “We might have dips like you said but T, I want this. I want us. I want this to work. God, I need this to work. I don’t think I could survive without you.”
“You could but you’ll never have to. Never even give you the chance to find out.” He cut you off. You squeezed his arm.
“I don’t want to find out. T… what do you think will happen next for us?” You tucked in closer to him cuddling up in your bed. He didn’t respond right away so you felt a little taken aback. Awkward almost. Ironic considering the things that were just said. “Like in the next five years, you know?” You tried to clarify.
“No, I know what you meant. I was just thinking of how I wanted to phrase it. I know this sounds cheesy so don’t make fun cause I’m serious.” He spoke slow. You hung onto every word of his.
“Serious” you mocked his accent and he gave you glare. You just smiled back.
“Next five years for me… just loving you. I’ve told you a million times I want to get married. I know we’re not too far into this one but I’d want another another baby… you know whenever you’re ready.” He tried to unnecessarily explain there was no pressure.
“Really?!” You would’ve squealed with excitement if Teddy weren’t finally asleep. You had jumped at the word marriage. “What ring are you gonna get meeee?” You giddily teased and moved even closer to him, laying your head and hand on his chest. “I think if I were to like make my perfect ring from scratch..” you began talking at the speed of light. You were off in dream land now. “I want a tou et moi because that’s what my parents did.” He nodded with a smile lovingly the way you spoke, the way you looked when you got excited. “I like the two-stone setting too. It’s just so beautiful to look down and see like a real representation of two people together and I kinda like the idea of the three ring deal.” You were referring to the concept of having one ring for engagement, one for marriage, and one for eternal love, usually anniversaries. Trent listened intently watching your animations. He’d asked you before nonchalantly what you wanted but you didn’t think much of it. You knew he talked about marrying you but you didn’t know when or even if that would happen.
“Oh yeah?” He picked up your left hand and kissed your knuckles. He felt pretty good about himself imagining what he has had hidden downstairs in a safe for about a year now.
•
Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍
Next part - Chapter 8 xx
#trent alexander arnold x reader#trent alexander arnold#trent alexander arnold imagines#taa x reader#taa66#oursfic
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Could I request a Gotham Knights request where r is the youngest knight who struggles with self-confidence and takes a hit for the knights when out on patrol due to this and they go big sibling mode?
Nice to see a request from another fandom. If I misunderstood the wording let me know, but I’m assuming the reader takes a hit for the knight and the knight goes big sibling mode.
Squire
You’re the youngest, the smallest, and the easiest to be tossed around. You have good instincts where it counts but you’re not always sure of yourself. During the day, you struggle with standing up for yourself, because sometimes you think they’re right. It’s started to affect your night life a little, putting doubt in your mind which affects your performance. This behaviour doesn’t go unnoticed.
Barbara notices almost immediately, as you keep returning to the clocktower with more scrapes and bruises. She sees you training plenty, so she knows you can drop some of those goons like a bad habit. You spar with the others too. What was going on?
When the two of you are on patrol you run into some goons and at first Barbara has it taken care of. You get cornered by a couple but you have it mostly in hand. Then you see one trying to flank her. You knocked out the one you were dealing with, and was able to grab Barbara’s attacker. He had a baton of some kind but you don’t get a good look before he hits you, when you get between him and his intended target. The hit is pretty nasty, but not hospital warranted. Once the goons are dealt with, Babs gets you back to the clocktower.
By this point if you don’t tell her what’s going on she was baring you from patrol duty. You don’t say much, and you don’t often say much anyways. As she’s putting the wrappings on your arm and you’re holding an ice pack to your bruised eye you tell her you’re fine. Yeah right, she wasn’t born yesterday. You don’t know what else she wants you to say. What’s been going on lately, during the day. Well, you don’t always feel sure of yourself, because people keep saying you’re not good enough. That you’re not doing enough and still getting away with it. You aren’t meeting their expectations, and that you aren’t setting high enough goals for yourself.
Barbara lets you vent more about it, telling stories of things teachers have said, coworkers putting their tasks on you, and all the while you’re running on little sleep. There was some tears, not really sobs. Babs doesn’t need a super computer or even her glasses to see your lack of confidence.
You stepped in between her and a guy ready to take a hard swing at her, a swing that may have killed her, and you stopped it and took it. But that was just adrenaline surely. No it wasn’t. You have plenty to live for in your life, you know people care about you, and you knew deep down, that you could take the hit. That you could protect people, and the ones you love.
You’re still barred from patrol for a while to heal your injuries, but Babs goes extra sister mode and says that if you need help with any projects or homework, she will help where she can, if only to give you extra reassurance.
Tim doesn’t share the same classes with you, but he notices you in the hallways and… yeah he’s noticed you having teachers and even other students breathing down your neck for a variety of things. He’s stood up for you before, especially with that group project where you did everything, told the teacher you did, and the teacher told you it could’ve been done better. Yeah that ticked him off enough to go to the higher ups of the school. When he sees how you are at night, he can tell that stuff has been bothering you. Hell, he’s had that feeling before.
While you keeping watch, and he was hacking into a computer, a couple of guys were trying to break down the door. Tim was almost done, he just needed a couple more second-fuck! The door got blasted off, and would’ve hit Tim if you hadn’t blocked it with yourself. You have bracers on your arms, so they take most of the damage that door would have done, damn it hurts though. Focus. Take em down, then get out.
Back at the clocktower, Tim thanks you for taking the hit. The impact left some internal bruising, but it would heal in time. You tell him you should have just pulled him away from the computer. He points out, the files they got would have been destroyed instead of retrieved. Still you should have barred the door, or posted up outside the door to keep them from getting in, or- Tim cuts you off. How the hell would you have accounted for that stuff? The mission was a success, you got the files and you kicked butt in the process. If all you do is fixate on what could have been, you’ll have too many ideas running through your head to act when you need to. But what if your first idea totally sucks? Then you learn from it and try again next time.
Tim tells you that you can’t let self-confidence get in the way of a judgement call, especially in a situation like that. Did you take a hard hit? Yes. Did you get the files? Yes! It won’t be easy, but if he’ll help you with your self confidence, and if that means reminding you each time that you’re doing a good job, then so be it. Hell, he’ll text you every day before class.
Dick knows self confidence can be hard, he’s a performer. Grayson also knows what you can do. Big sibling mode is not a thing for him, it’s just default Grayson. During sparring, he notices you’ll try to flee from attacks rather than guard or dodge. It’s one thing to step back, it’s another to scurry away. There’s plenty of times where he’ll have you just plant your feet to remind you it’s only practice, the batons won’t hurt when you have guards on. Soft swing, normal swing, harder swi- you flee again.
Grayson is still concerned when you two go out, investigating a warehouse that had a few thugs. He was ready to drop down on them, but not before asking if you can handle yourself. The question leaves you with plenty of self doubt. He accounted for this ahead of time, knowing you may not be up for it. He reminds you it’s only a couple of thugs for each of you. Yeah, you can do this. No problem. There wasn’t much of a problem either, you plant your feet, and are able to avoid most hits.
Then you hear the sound of something sharp and metal. You look over and Grayson is dealing with a knife now. A skilled knife. You’re stealing glances in between blows, and knife user is giving Grayson a run for his money. Once you have your current thug knocked down you rush over, seeing Grayson get punched in the face hard. The knife comes down on a dazed Grayson but you grab it, shoving it away, so it just gives a cut to shoulder. You take the stumble from your quick intervention, to kick the guy to ground. Once Grayson recovers, he takes the guy down.
A quick call and the police are on their way, while you’re gritting your teeth. Grayson didn’t see it before, but your hands are bleeding from grabbing the knife, as is your shoulder. As soon as the cops can be heard, he has you on the bike, driving to the clock tower, being careful not to make any hard turns since you can’t have on to him very easily.
The alcohol stings and you feel pretty foolish for grabbing the knife by the blade. Thankfully it wasn’t too deep, so stitches weren’t necessary, but bandages were and that also meant no fighting for a while. Once you’re all bandaged up, Grayson asks what’s been going on lately. You kept fleeing and he noticed you flinching quite a bit during the fight. You try to act like nothing is going on, and that his issue was with you grabbing the blade, but he’s persistent. You shrug, cause you don’t know, it was all so unreal sometimes, that you’re a vigilante fighting to protect your home. Yet during the day you couldn’t fight back against the ones who kept trying to take your stuff or told you you weren’t good enough.
You’re plenty good enough. Grayson reminds you of everything you’ve been able to pull off, all the fights you’ve won, all the bad guys you’ve brought to justice, and all of the hard work you’re doing now. You’re kicking ass, so don’t stop just because not everyone knows it. You’re trying not to tear up but Grayson gives you a hug, and yep, now you’re crying. Don’t say sorry, you’re doing great. Want to watch a horrible show that you can both mock and laugh at? You pick, he’ll get snacks.
Jason had been preoccupied with a lead, so he wasn’t paying you much mind. Your shooting was his main concern, since you were his little sniper buddy, dropping bad guys from a safe place. You wanted to get into the full action though. Jason wasn’t sure, but as long as you kept yourself out of the way he would allow it. You feel useless sometimes, only watching from above. You miss criminals which means Jason has to go after them or they get away. There’s also been some criminals who decide to make rude remarks about you being some child.
Jason had his main lead cornered, giving the guy a proper beating as well. You had been down there with him among the shipping crates that covered you from view of any cameras. Jason wasn’t sure if coast was as clear as he wanted, so you went looking for any stragglers. The concerns were warranted as you found a guy perched on one of the crates, taking aim. You don’t know whether the target is the lead or Jason, you don’t care either. Without another thought you run at the guy, not bothering with your own weapon, and shout.
The wrestle for the gunman’s weapon goes poorly. Jason takes notice, but by the time he turns there’s a gunshot, and you fall back, landing hard against the concrete below. Immediately, Jason has his gun out and fires on the gunman who isn’t quick enough to retreat. Once he knocks out the lead he hurries over to your crumpled body. He’s panicked too, thinking you may have just gotten yourself killed. The wound is a graze on your hip, nasty but not fatal. You’re gasping, trying to get air back in your lungs. Jason doesn’t hesitate to get the lower part of your mask off, letting you breathe easier.
Once you’re breathing and he gets something around the wound to soak up the blood, he gets you back to the clocktower. It’s not a fun time. Jason’s bedside manner is lacking. You literally took a bullet for him, all because he let you stay on the ground. He was so stupid. You watch him patch you up, grumbling to himself. Without thinking you apologize. Jason finishes up and gives you a look of, “where did that come from”.
You shouldn’t have overstepped. This lead was important and you just made it more difficult. Not only that you put your at risk, if you had been up on the crates you would’ve been fine. Instead you caused unnecessary risk. Jason sits there listening to you feel ashamed, and then call yourself a “stupid kid” and “childish”. Fucks sake he shouldn’t have to tell you this.
You’re a Robin now, maybe not like the rest of them. Doesn’t change the fact they were all young once and took risks. Everyone starts somewhere, and when you’re the youngest you have plenty of doubts. Confidence isn’t your strongest feature, but honestly he didn’t know many others your age who had the guts to take up a rifle and fight back against all the shit on these streets. If anything he blamed himself for not noticing you were struggling to begin with. You try to deflect blame back on to yourself and he settles for it being neither of your faults.
You’re not going out for a while, not with your injuries. Honestly it’s a miracle you didn’t do more damage. For now, you need to take care of yourself, and remind yourself that you’re more badass than you give yourself credit for. First get some rest, and then tomorrow night you’ll walk around as a civillian, focusing on some self care and he’ll be close by on his patrol. You don’t need to take crazy risks, that’s his job. He’s proud of you though.
Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends @thriving-n-jiving
#gotham knights#gotham knights x reader#robin#batgirl#batfamily#nightwing#red hood#red robin#tim drake#jason todd#barbara gordon#dick grayson#jason todd x reader#batgirl x reader#red robin x reader#red hood x reader#nightwing x reader#dick grayson x reader#barbara gordon x reader#tim drake x reader
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How about a short fic of how poppy was so happy that she got to dance with brozone mostly Bitty B, and Branch reminds her he not that kid anymore getting a rizz out of her but their soon kiss gets interrupted by john
Sure :)
Baby No More (a Trolls fanfic)
It was only after the exciting hype of the evening had fizzled down into something more cool and collected that Branch and Poppy found the opportune moment to do as any couple would when they had a lovely sunset and each other - take a romantic stroll along the beach.
His larger blue hand gently entwined with her delicate pink one, Branch followed alongside his girlfriend’s light, energetic steps as she merrily skipped, swinging their conjoined arms back and forth, and guiding them to and fro from the white, foamy surf as it washed up against the shore.
Branch shook his head at her antics. “Don’t you ever get tired?” he questioned.
“Nope!” she chirped, not a hint of hesitation in her voice.
“Well,” Branch began to reply, “I know I’d be after all that dancing.”
“Come on, Branch, it was fun!” Poppy chided. “What’s the use of being in a band if you can’t bust out a move, huh?”
“Singing,” the blue Troll replied easily. “Isn’t that the most important thing of being in a band?”
“The most important thing about being in a band is having fun with your bandmates and your music,” Poppy stated matter-of-factly, “and I should know since” - she paused to giggle - “I’m in a band now!” She gave a delighted squeal and stopped them in their tracks so that she could give him a big hug. “Oh thank you, so, so much, Branch!!”
“Poppy, you don’t have to thank me,” Branch wheezed, nearly out of breath from the tightness of her embrace, “I mean, you knew it was gonna happen eventually, right?”
“NO!” she exclaimed with a flail of her arms. “I was SO not expecting that. Do you know how BIG this is for me?!” She grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him right in the eyes. “I’ve been wanting to dance with BroZone since I was a little girl! Oh, and it was BETTER than I could’ve ever hoped for!”
Branch chuckled when her fangirl-mode kicked in hard, the Pop Queen fanning herself and rapidly pacing back and forth on the sand. “Oh my gosh, I STILL can’t believe it! Me onstage with The Leader! And The Heartthrob! And The Fun Boy and The Sensitive One!…”
The blue Troll rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we’re prooobably gonna have to think up new nicknames to give ‘em…”
She turned on him with a sparkle in her eyes. “Aw, and we definitely can’t forget about you, Bitty B the Baby!” She squished his cheeks in a loving manner, giggling, though Branch didn’t quite share in the amusement she had.
“... and we’re starting with mine,” he finished, continuing off of his earlier statement. He gently removed her hands from his face and held onto them firmly, speaking to her slowly so she could hear him very clearly. “Poppy, you do know that I am NOT a baby anymore, right?”
“Yeah, of course I know,” Poppy laughed. “I mean, a baby wouldn’t be able to do this, would he?” Batting her lashes, she leaned in closer to his face, eyes fluttering shut and lips puckering slightly. Branch felt his heart race. Poppy was getting far more comfortable exchanging kisses more frequently with him, and he was certainly not going to be one to deny her whenever she wanted one.
“No, he wouldn’t,” Branch whispered, right before he closed the gap and pressed his mouth to hers. Her lips were warm and soft, perfectly smooth against his like they always were, nearly able to take him away completely from the world around him - if it wasn't for the rambunctious cheering that sounded.
“All right, YEAH! Now that’s how a man gets things done!”
Branch groaned, breaking apart from the sweet smooch earlier than he would have liked to shoot a glare at the only brother who probably would interrupt such a moment without seeing anything wrong with it (and, who always seemed to pop in out of nowhere at just the wrong moments!).
When John Dory caught his intense gaze, he became sheepish and stammered an apology. “Whoops! Oh, sorry… I guess I probably shoulda waited till afterwards to start cheerin’ then, huh?”
“Yeah,” Branch answered tersely, crossing his arms.
“Heh, my bad! Um, see you later, I guess?” JD said, not waiting for a reply and scampering off to wherever he had so suddenly come from.
Branch rolled his eyes and met Poppy’s gaze. “I think we should make his new nickname ‘The Blockhead.’”
Poppy gasped and shoved him in the shoulder. “Branch! That’s mean!”
He laughed. “It’s just a joke, Poppy, I’m kidding.”
“Good,” she huffed. Grabbing his hand, she leaned in close to him again. “Now, where were we?”
Branch smirked and met her halfway, never one to be tired of displaying his affection to her.
**********************************************************
(btw, @happyqueenandgrumpydork, for the other oneshot request of yours about the broppy kiss at the end of TBT, did you want the perspective of Branch or Poppy? I'm going to work on writing it this weekend 🙂)
#trolls#trolls 3#trolls band together#broppy#branch trolls#poppy trolls#john dory#dreamworks#fanfiction#kittyball writes#thanks for the ask!#kittyball answers#100+
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Caught
Ethan Landry x M!Reader
SPOILERS FOR SCREAM 6!!!!
Warnings: smut, cursing, drinking
Summary: Everyone thought y/n and Ethan hated each other but the truth is, Y/n and Ethan have been hooking up with each other secretly
(I actually made the gif myself! I’m so happy how it turned out)
Y/n and Ethan were known not to like each other, or so everyone thought. Everyone knew not to place the two in a room together or else they would start an argument out of nothing.
Both Ethan and y/n were invited to the Halloween party. Y/n decided to go as a magician. When y/n arrived to the party with Tara, he saw Ethan with Chad. “Tara I thought you said he wouldn’t be here!” Said y/n. “Oh come on, you two definitely like each other, and besides you can just avoid him the whole party it isn’t that hard” said Tara joked. “Fine” said y/n.
Y/n and Ethan have secretly been dating for a couple weeks, not wanting anyone to know about their relationship. Y/n took a Drink and went over to Mindy and Anika. “Hey guys” said y/n. “Hey y/n, sorry we didn’t tell you Ethan was going to be at the party, we thought it would be a funny little prank” said Anika. “It’s fine” Said y/n as he finished his drink. “I’m going to go get another drink I’ll be right back” said y/n. Y/n just poured his self another drink.
As y/n was walking back towards Anika and Mindy as he bumped into Ethan, causing y/n’s drink to splash both of their costumes. “What the fuck is your problem!” Said y/n causing a scene. “What do you mean! You’re the one who bumped into me” said Ethan. Before the argument could get any more tense Anika and Mindy pulled y/n and Ethan away from each other. “Hey, hey, it’s fine, it happens, let’s just move on” Anika told y/n as Mindy went to go talk to Ethan.
Ethan’s pov (kinda)
“Hey what was that about” Chad asked Ethan. “Y/n is always causing a fucking scene. He spilled his drink on me and now he is acting like I started it” said Ethan. “You guys have to start getting along, we are all in the same friend group after all” said Chad. “And besides-” Chad said before he was interrupted by Anika. “Hey big guy, you’re needed” said Anika.
That whole thing happens and they walk back to Sam’s apartment
Tara told Chad to get Sam as they turned on the news. Y/n noticed Ethan giving him glances from across the room. The h/c haired boy received a text from Ethan. Y/n opened the text as he rolled his eyes.
E: Did I do good at acting babe ;)
You: you did good Ig
E: oh?
You: you could’ve done a better job
E: If I was that bad at acting then I guess I should tell everyone that we’re together
You: Fine, you did good
E: I could do good at so many other things
You: What is that supposed to mean
E: Yk what I mean
Y/n was about to respond when Anika said something. “Who are you texting that is making you smile so much y/n?” Anika said teasingly. “No one” said y/n blushing a bit. “Ooh, y/n has a boyfrienddd, I wonder who it isss” said Quinn teasing y/n. “It’s none of your business” said y/n as he looked over at Ethan who was trying not to laugh.
Time skip to when Sam and Tara leave to go to the police department
“I’m going to go back to our dorm, I’m slumped” y/n told Anika because they shared a dorm. Shortly after Ethan was running over to y/n. “Hey babe, you wanna go to your dorm or my dorm to do this” Ethan told y/n as he started to leave hickeys on y/n’s neck. “Easy there tiger, we could get caught if you start giving me hickeys out here” chuckled y/n. “But let’s do it at my dorm” said y/n.
As soon as y/n and Ethan walked into y/n’s bedroom they got down to business. As y/n closed the door behind him Ethan started to pin y/n against the door as he began kissing the shorter boy. Y/n started kissing back as he put his hand under Ethan’s shirt. Y/n lifted Ethan’s shirt over his head as he pushed Ethan onto the bed. Y/n started giving Ethan hickeys around his neck. Ethan whining as y/n did so. Y/n started kissing down Ethan’s body, making sure to kiss every spot. Y/n started to unbuckle Ethan’s pants as he started kissing Ethan’s V line. When Y/n pulled Ethan’s pants down he decided to tease Ethan. Kissing the fabric that outlined what the h/c haired boy really wanted.
“For fucks sake y/n just blow me already!” Ethan begged. Y/n let out a chuckle as he pulled down Ethan’s boxers. Ethan’s dick sprang forward as y/n started to put the tip in his mouth. Ethan let out a groan as y/n did so. Y/n started going further down Ethan’s length. Y/n bobbed his head up and down as Ethan rested his hand in y/n’s head. “F-fuck~” Ethan groaned as y/n was working on him. Ethan started to thrust his hips, not being able to contain himself. Ethan let out a lot of moans as he felt his climax coming. Finally Ethan let out one last groan as he came down y/n’s throat. Y/n couldn’t swallow all of the seed that Ethan made, so some of it came down the side of y/n’s mouth and onto Ethan’s now glossy dick.
“It’s your turn now babe” Ethan said as he switched positions with y/n. He slowly started to pull y/n’s pants down. He started to tease y/n, making y/n feel the frustration he felt when y/n was teasing him. When Ethan was done teasing he decided to put y/n’s whole length in his mouth with no warning. “Fuck!” Y/n groaned loudly as Ethan started to go down the other boy’s length roughly. Y/n was holding onto the bedsheets tightly as Ethan started to go faster down y/n’s length. “I’m going to cum” y/n groaned. That gave Ethan motivation to suck faster and harder. Y/n released a loud moan as he sprayed down Ethan’s throat. After Ethan was done he started to go next to y/n giving him a kiss as they cuddles with each other.
“We should do this more often” chuckled y/n as he kissed Ethan. Y/n heard the front door open. “Fuck” y/n whispered as he tried to find his clothes. Anika knocked the door and walked in after not hearing a response. Anika let out the loudest scream to where Chad, Mindy, and Quinn ran over to y/n and Anika’s dorm. “What is it!” Yelled Mindy as she saw that Anika was covering her eyes. Quinn peaked in the room to see Ethan and y/n changing. “Holy shit” she chuckled. “I fucking knew it!” Said Chad as Ethan and y/n walked out with their hair still messy. “I knew there was something up with the two of you” said Mindy as she laughed. “Well I’m definitely going to need therapy” said Anika as she went to go turn on the tv to get her mind off of what just happened.
A/n: Thank you guys so much for voting and helping me decide on what to write next!
#ethan landry#ethan landry x male reader#scream 6#male x male#gay smut#male reader#male reader x scream#malexmale#mlm#mxm#scream x male reader#smut
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FS READING‼️📣
“I Want it Bad” by Kid Cudi is the first song that comes to mind with your future spouse! lol the funny thing about this is… idk the context of which they mean “I want it bad” but it’ll make sense when you finally meet this person. First and foremost this person may be a fire sign or they’re a fighter. Could be a literal fighter OR they fight for what they want and love! Some of you may be stuck or in some kind of situation that’s leaving you in the 5 of pentacles energy. This could be financial losses or lack of financial security or this could be health related. Someone or this person may have lost a mother figure in their life or this may have been someone who they have/ had children with. But I’m getting like a… dying wish in a way. So this person may have been very close to this woman (or man) it’s definitely someone who they looked up to as a mother/ father figure who went through a lot for them and their family. 808 as I type this so heavy on that Leo Energy. But anywho, this person is a go getter, like they will go to the very extent to make sure you’re good and protected. How they view you is the Empress 😊. You could be or was dealing with a lot of heavy HEAVY burdens and this person will be coming in to help you through it or save you. The narrative is going to be different for each and every one of you. They want this cycle of you struggling to be done and over with. They know you wear your battle scars on your sleeve and your heart and they want to fix that… and heal it. This person may like RnB or slow jams in general or this may be you, cause I’m hearing Teddy Pendergrass (idk how to spell the man’s name) or this is going to be the songs playing when y’all… yeaaaaaaa lmaoo! They say that you’re very sweet, kind and lovable and also a potential wife and mother 👀. 1010 is confirmation. If this person has a history, they know that they’re going to have to kick anything that’s going to disrupt and be a hinderance to this relationship especially if they’re wanting long term with… and the same thing goes for you as well. I’m answering “answer the question” somebody is on someone’s ass about something. Communication is going to be on 10… love will be on 10… it’s giving 10 10 10 across the board! Speaking of 10 you and this person are going to be one fine ass couple WOO! The both of you are going to have some beautiful babies together. Now don’t start acting all surprised when this person comes to you or you to them because this is what you wanted and manifested. You could’ve came from a lot of heartbreaks, loss, etc. however this person wanting and is meant to heal that and build you up bigger, better and stronger and also wiser. They’re are going to enjoy watching you grow and heal into the person you were always meant to be. They are going to protect you with EVERYTHING they have because you are their precious little diamond. Allow this love in, yes you may be guarded and have your walls severely up and strong but this person is going to knock them tf down with just a look. “Knock you down” by Kerri Hilson is what I channeled. Heavy air, water, and fire with a little bit of Earth. They could be any of these signs or have them highly aspected in their chart or yours. Hope this helps!
**Please keep in mind that these readings are general, if it doesn’t fit your situation/ narrative then it wasn’t meant for you. If you would like a more personal reading/ message, feel free to DM for prices and ways to book a reading with me, thank you! 🫶🏾**
#fypシ#tarotcommunity#tarot cards#tarot reading#tarot#fypage#tumblr fyp#tarot reader#daily tarot#pick a deck#divination#message me#channeled message#message for the collective#tarotblr#tarot deck#tarot witch#free tarot#beginner witch#energy work#baby witch#witchblr#witch community#witches of tumblr#fypツ#fyp#fypシ゚viral#fyppage#future spouse#spirit work
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So like, less of a suggestion and more of a question - I recently found your works and have just been blown away by the details (like, seriously, you're on the top of my favorite writers list) and just how... perfect you craft everything? I genuinely inspire to be like you, but the problem is that I've hit a rut - I'm super unsatisfied with my writing, and whenever I try to get back into the writing zone, I just fall flat. Is there any advice you could give on how to improve one's writing? What would be your tips and tricks at getting into that writing zone?
(Do apologize me taking SO LONG to answer, but I had some health emergencies the last couple of weeks and ended up in the hospital – I’m doing better now, chilling at home and trying to recover. My doctor is 90% sure I have Crohn’s Disease and I’m having many ups and downs trying to find a proper treatment that I seem to respond to. BUT…)
…I hope you are aware of how much you made me smile, blush and almost indulge into my teary eyes upon reading this. Hahahaha seriously, thank you SO much!! I can’t even thank you enough, I’m just in pure awe that another being in this big ol’ world we live in thinks so highly of my writing!!
I mean, not even I think that highly of my writing. Notice a pattern? ;)
One thing I learned being an artist – not only writing, I also draw, play the piano, write music on my free time/when inspiration hits, everything creative, I’m there, doing it – is that we’re never really satisfied with our work. We will always think we could’ve done something better, and we’re definitely going to be pretty “meh” about a lot of things we do – even when other people think it’s a masterpiece.
And that is good! We’ll always strive to perfect our skills! You just have to remember to appreciate the work you do even when you’re not completely satisfied with it. You will get to where you want to – but then, you’ll wish to improve even more! And that is awesome!
But hey, I do have some tips and tricks on improving and getting into that writing vibe!
For the people getting to the party now, my main tip on improving is here, in the first part of the answer for this ask! Now, now…
(long post below, as expected YEE BEEN WARNED!)
Regarding improving:
Read. A. Lot. Hahaha I know that’s quite an obvious one, but it’s really important. Personally, I think reading mindlessly just to fill a quota of “I read 25 books a month” doesn’t work. It works when you absorb it – when you allow yourself to plunge into the world of the book you’re reading, feeling the characters, the emotions, the settings… That helps you build your “mental library” so to speak! And sometimes you’ll find things and expressions you like that you might use both on your daily speech and while writing – for instance, I have this awful thing of saying “there’s a lack of wings to my words” whenever I’m speechless, because of Homer’s Odyssey. I freaking LOVE that book, I loved that expression, I use it all the time, and it has definitely bled into my writing.
WRITE! A LOT! Write bad stuff, good stuff, short 2 pages thing-ys that you go “hey that’s a good idea!” but you’ll never actually turn into a full story, random scenes, fanfiction, stupid fanfiction, serious fanfiction, self-indulgent stories, stories for your family, stories for yourself, stories for whoever wants to read or not, dreams that could be great stories… The point is to write. It’s much like drawing or playing the piano: if you don’t practice, you won’t get better and you won’t develop your style. The more you practice, the better you get! So don’t be afraid to write bad stuff, cringy stuff, or ridiculous stuff – or even stuff you thought would be awesome and turns out bad, or stuff you think will never turn into anything that turn amazing! One way or another, you’ll be refining your craft!
Identify what you like on writers you admire. I started noticing that while reading The Silmarillion. The Lord of the Rings is my favorite book since I read it for the first time when I was 15, but I didn’t pick up The Silmarillion until I was around 22 – and by then, I started underlining with a light pencil all the phrases I liked most, something my mom did on her old books when she was around my age. I then started taking a look at what I liked about Tolkien’s writing so much – and in other books too: what kind of phrases seemed to resonate more with my soul. Which ones brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. And then I notice I tend more to the unconventional ways of describing things.
For instance, instead of going like “she was beautiful, with pale skin under raven dark hair, blue eyes shining on her fair face” I tend to go for the unconventional, sort of eerie, not so much taken for granted kind of describing “her beauty glowed like the first pale star to glisten in the evening sky, under a deep sea of dark, velvety hair, making her eyes twinkle like sapphires with a smart look while carrying the light she kept in her soul”. If I had to, the second one would be how I’d describe Arwen or Lúthien, giving them that ethereal otherworldly beauty they have. It's also the one that evokes more feelings inside of me rather than just a mental image.
That’s why I try to describe some things in a different light. When I’m writing, I want people to feel something – but how can you describe that feeling of joy when you hug someone you love and the whole world fades for a minute? That’s when I go for the “his heart bled with gold while his hands never wanted to let them go. For a minute, time seemed to stop and there was nothing else but his heartbeat intertwining with theirs, beating as the same song – even if theirs was more melodic while his was more melancholic. It was that kind of tune that made his lungs not remember how to breathe and his eyes pour – while his lips reflected all the gold that cascaded from his heart.” It’s a quick (rather ridiculous) example, but I do think about some things: how when I feel like that, I tend to have a hard time breathing and I do cry, but it’s because I want to smile so much I cannot contain it. Then I try to describe those feelings with metaphors and poetic stuff because I’m a melodramatic bitch.
Jokes aside, it’s because I like that sort of writing that has that beauty behind it – or more of a melancholic approach. It’s what resonates the most with me and I adopted it, even if sometimes it feels too… Abstract. I like that ability of people piecing the abstractness together and having their own interpretation – and that’s what makes people have different feelings while reading the same thing.
Is this for everyone? Absolutely not. I bet some people despise all that poeticness I like to put on words to lace them like a painting, you know? So, the more you re-read the things you like, you’ll start identifying what resonates with you and you can apply that to your own writing!
And that doesn’t mean you’ll have to be locked on that writing style as well. I’m currently trying to finish a book (I hope someday I can publish it) which is a cyberpunk style story, with lots of inspiration from Cyberpunk 2077, Blade Runner, John Wick (yes, Keanu Reeves sends his regards) and all that poetic writing doesn’t quite fit there. I’m using more of a direct approach, but there’s a lot of existentialism and reflecting on overcoming grief, trauma, owning your own life and contemplating one’s own mortality – and that’s where that poetic, metaphoric, melancholic, bittersweet characteristic of my writing style comes into play. And then everyone starts cursing and shooting each other again :)
Having a style doesn’t mean getting stuck in it – it means knowing when and where to use it!
Now regarding getting into the writing zone:
I freaking ADORE music and it helps me A TON while I’m writing. It’s like setting the mood. I’m trying to be sexy, or mysterious, or having that vampire-y vibe? Depeche Mode playlist it is. Fight scenes? Metal and Electronic. I need to freaking focus and get to work without thinking too much about the music (or start dancing like crazy whenever a song I love comes in and there I am, dancing and singing in my room at 3 a.m)? Piano playlists – classic, modern, everything and anything, as long as it is piano.
Playing music that goes with what I’m writing also helps. For my cyberpunk book, for instance, I put on the Cyberpunk 2077 OST playlist/radio on, or I search for “Cyberpunk Ambience/Playlist” on Youtube and let it roll while I write. For my King Arthur stories (yes, still working on them), I put on Celtic music compilations, Enya, Loreena McKennitt or the piano playlists. For my vampire stories, be the medieval or the near-future one, dark piano, Dark Wave, etc. Perhaps searching for that one playlist that has to do with your story setting and listening to it for some time might get you in the zone!
I also usually write deep in the night. Because I’m a spawn of Dracula. After everyone at home has gone to sleep, I make myself some hot tea, sit on my computer, start listening to music and write. That’s because I know I won’t be interrupted, and I can do just that. Sometimes, I start writing at 1 a.m, other times earlier, other times later. Try to notice when your ideas seem to flow better and when you get more into the zone – but please, don’t be unhealthy as I am and go to sleep at a decent hour. I’m not an example here with my sleeping schedule hahahaha
Cringy moment: when I’m stuck, I act the last scene I wrote as one of my characters in the shower and, usually, ideas start to come in (and I have to get off the shower). Hahahaha now that’s just a weird one, but I have NO idea why, my best ideas arise in the shower. Water has a weird effect on me, so sometimes I just stand there with warm water pouring over my head and, lo and behold, I’m exiting the shower in a hurry because I just got my writer mood back HAHAHA so maybe some very mundane activity – like cooking, taking the trash out, cleaning the room – might be where your writer brain will come to life. You never know.
Needless to say, I talk to myself a lot, sometimes as if I’m talking to the characters. That is a very bad coping mechanism I developed when I was being bullied at school – I used to pretend Dante was with me when I was alone or something had happened and I needed someone by my side, so nowadays I have a very easy time writing this man. I started doing that with some of my characters, and that goes for repeating lines or part of the stories I’m writing to see if I can get un-stuck. It’s not the greatest of things, but it works. My neighbors might think I’m crazy, though xD
When I’m completely unmotivated or I keep staring at the blank page without being able to write, I try to immerse myself in what I’m writing about. So, if I’m stuck on my cyberpunk book, I watch some Cyberpunk 2077 let’s plays, I re-watch the Edgerunners anime, I re-watch Blade Runner, I re-read some parts of Do Androids Dream of Electrical Sheep? or I, Robot, I listen to Blade Runner’s soundtrack, I even try to play Cyberpunk 2077 (while praying not to get motion sickness or not having my pc exploding from overworking). If I’m stuck on my King Arthur works, then I re-watch the 2004 movie (may the gods bless Ioan Gruffudd and his wonderful Lancelot and Mads Mikkelsen as my beloved Tristan), re-read the 3 books on the Chronicles of Arthur series, listen to some Celtic music, research Arthurian stories for hours on the internet, search for my encyclopedias at home to see if they have something on King Arthur, read obscure translated manuscripts from ancient times on it … So, immersing yourself on reading, researching, listening to music, watching movies, playing videogames, listening to stories, watching series, reading mangas, watching anime, documentaries, going to the movies, basically doing anything that has to do with the theme you’re writing, may get you in the mood. Next time you sit down to write, it might flow wonderfully!
I don’t force myself to write, though. If I do, I usually can’t write a single decent word and I’ll hate it. If things aren’t flowing – and this I learned with my mom, who also draws – I leave it for a while and go do something else. Maybe I’ll have some warm tea, or watch a completely unrelated movie, or read my current book, or talk to my parrot in the kitchen, play some piano, draw a little, or just take a good nap. My mom says it refreshes the head and the eyes, and when you come back to it, you’ll be a lot more inclined to find things that weren’t working and let those creative juices flow.
I also have a very weird search history and I’m not ashamed of it. All writers do, and it’s better to have a weird search history than not knowing what you’re talking about, honestly. And sometimes, researching takes a lot more time than writing and might get you motivated – time spent learning is never wasted. Even if you’re learning what kind of dates grow in Greece and are offered to Apollo (bless his heart).
Sometimes, I write something completely unrelated, with a very different theme, and stupidly goofy – and that gets me back to the writing vibes. Sometimes there’s just this need of writing something for the sake of writing, and you just want something foolish to make you smile like a goof. It’s valid and it might be your ticket out of writing-rut-land.
Now some little uncalled for advices:
I spent too long being self-conscious and too serious about it. If it’s not your style, don’t force it. Some people need structure, other people thrive in chaos – know what’s your style and go for it. I hate planning novels, for example. But I will outline the main points of the story and the ending – the rest, well, the characters have to show me whatever else they’re doing, and I have to go with it. Sometimes there are huge arcs I didn’t plan as a main point of the story, but they pop up in the middle of it and they are important – I like leaving that room for impromptu writing/creating. So, find out how it works for you, not how it works for everyone else.
You don’t have to create masterpieces right at the first time you’re writing. Take my King Arthur thing-y for example. I wrote the full story when I was 15. When I was in college, I decided to re-write it. And then, when I was at work, I decided to re-write the re-write. And now, I just took all my files, read them, thought about it all, outlined a whole new story and decided to write anew. Not re-write, but take all that work and write as if I had never written anything before – in the original file, the main characters were 15 years old and in school, now they have their jobs at Universities and work on the secret society that is now a lot more fleshed out and built with loads of new characters around (including a new one I created yesterday after months not thinking about it).
If I hadn’t written the Twilight-sort of embarrassing thing when I was 15, I wouldn’t have this whole universe, characters and story to build upon nowadays. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was a good idea – and I’ll keep working on it until I’m happy with it. It’s been 13 years I’m working on it now, maybe when it reaches its 15th anniversary, I’ll be able to finally let it see the light of day!
Don’t listen to the “NEVER DO THIS!!” advices. Seriously. Writing is a form of art – and, as in all art, there isn’t a right or wrong. By all means, see what people are saying it’s bad and you should never do – I watch and read those advices so I can learn to be better too! – but don’t take it to heart. As Captain Barbossa would say, it’s more of a guideline than rules set in stone. Sometimes, something people say you should NEVER EVER do is something that works perfectly fine for you and your style of writing. Learn to make up your own mind: learn new things, listen to advices, but absorb those that resonate with you and leave those that don’t. That’s how you create your own opinion about things and how you find your writing style!
One fun thing to point out on this as an example: me, my mom, my sister and my dad ADORE reading. My sister loves Jane Austen, my mom is a super fan of Dostoyevsky and Russian literature, while my dad lives for Isaac Asimov and all things sci-fi. I love sci-fi, my mom can’t stand it. I read Dante’s Inferno in a week and my mom couldn’t get past the first verses. My sister can’t read poetry at all and is terribly bored by Lord of the Rings. My dad read my Chronicles of Arthur books and even told me to buy the complete the series. Me and my sister enjoyed Khaled Hosseini’s books a lot, but my mom never felt like reading them.
All of this to say: it’s not a matter of who’s more intellectual than the other, it’s a matter of who likes which kind of literature and writing styles. Some people are more comfortable with one way of writing or a certain kind of literature and can’t stand others – and that’s ok. Writing is pretty much the same. THERE ARE NO FIXED RULES! BE A REBEL!
If it helps you: character sheets. Around 8 years ago – or more – I searched and searched online for the character sheet that could help me the best. I had never done it before and thought it was quite useless, until I downloaded one and started filling the infos on my main characters of my Arthurian sort of story. Lo and behold, they became SO MUCH BETTER and that’s when I started rewriting everything: I understood all characters a LOT better and made better decisions when writing them. It doesn’t work for everyone, though, but it’s a lot of fun for me. Currently, I don’t use it much because I now know what are the main things I need for my characters to seem alive, but it’s always nice to have a reference when you’re writing.
My cyberpunk story, for instance, it has A BUNCH of characters with scars, different hair colours, different eye colours, the way they dress, birthmarks, cyber-implants, cyber-prothesis, dressing styles… And sometimes I get lost in it. So it’s nice keeping a character sheet when I go like “wait, she has burn marks on the left arm or the right arm…?”
And keeping a file on worldbuilding might be helpful as well. I noticed that writing my cyberpunk thing. The first thing I wrote was a huge file explaining the city, the factions, the districts, people’s styles, who are the viruses, the sub-types of viruses, the political parties, the police and secret police, the difference between artificials and organics, how does access to the world works, what is the Ocularis system, the most important corporations, their names, their owners… And all those things will probably never appear on this story.
But I felt a HUGE difference. Instead of info-dumping right at the beginning to make the reader understand how the world is built and how it works, I started it right at an important point in the story. No one knows anything about how things work, but, as the characters speak to each other, they talk about so many things that the reader catches things and pieces together how all things are organized.
Don’t try to explain everything. Tying with I said before, if you have a very good idea of how things work, how the characters relate to each other, how they react and how they think, you won’t need to info-dump. I usually think I’m seeing my characters going about their day and that is ALL I’m describing: what they are saying, feeling, thinking and doing. If I feel something is missing for people to fully understand, then I add something quite minimal to help. But I don’t overexplain: people are intelligent and they can piece things together.
Don’t go full Marvel movies and explain everything as if no one can understand unless you say it. Go Nolan and try to make people understand with images, feelings, glances, metaphors and such. It’s very effective in writing! (Don’t get me wrong, I do like Marvel movies, but they have become those kinds of movies that require little mental effort because literally everything will be explained in a huge monologue or through dialogue. You don’t always need dialogues – and if you say “oh that’s too ambiguous and people won’t be certain about it” that’s the beauty of art: it’s always up to interpretation)
Having someone to read and give you feedback might be very helpful too. I have a few friends every now and then I send some of my stories so they’ll read and give me an honest feedback. I try to listen to their opinions and refine my work – but if I think they critique doesn’t make sense, I thank them anyway and keep on doing my thing. Like I said, know when to take what makes sense and when let go of something that doesn’t. Also: feedback is NOT a personal attack. DON’T TAKE IT TO HEART. See it always as something you may need to improve – and you’ll improve quicker.
At the end of the day, writing is art. And all art is relative.
Your art will be great to some and horrible to others – and that’s ok! Again, learn to NOT make it personal (the critiques, I mean, because art is always personal and that’s wonderful, I think).
And repeat after me: you will not please everyone. The point is to make yourself proud. You’ll find your people along the way.
Do it because you love. Do it because it comes from your heart, from your soul. The world has become so filled with content, mindlessly created by artificial intelligence so we will keep consuming, that things have lost so much of their soul.
To make art, to write, is to have soul. If you have that heart, that passion in your work, it will show – and people will follow. When you sit to write, don’t make it a chore, don’t make it an aesthetic tiktok post, don’t follow the routine of this or that famous artist – do what you have to do and let your heart flow. Do it for you.
I think that’s the main advice I can give. Don’t do content to post on social media and look good, do your art. Push your boundaries, test new things, write in ways you never did before, but do your thing.
When everyone is doing the same thing over and over again, you’ll realize your words will stand out by doing what you want to do.
Again thanks for attending my TED Talk xD
#polaris speaks#writing advice#writing tips#writing#writing help#writing tips and tricks#answered asks#asks#anon ask#there we gooooo second part of super long post xD#do forgive anon#and do forgive taking so long#but I hope these will help somehow#I'm not the best person to give advices#but maybe these things I did for learning and refining my writing will help other people too#and the motivational speak at the end as well xD#we all need some of that
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Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023
Here is an english translation/transcript of Käärijä’s appearance on Finnish talk show Puoli seitsemän for the enjoyment of all the non-finnish Käärijä & Eurovision fans. I have no clue how to screenrecord videos or put subtitles on them, but I can offer you a written translation :D (if someone has access to the video and can do that, feel free to use the translation if you want to, just tag me if you do, please). If there’s anything confusing or weird, comment or message me and I’ll try to clarify it
So here it goes, enjoy!
Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023
(hosts talking about generic beginning-of-the-show-stuff, introducing Käärijä)
host1: Today we are having a party, holding onto pina coladas with both hands (handing out drinks). These are non-alcoholic, I assume it’s fine by you?
Käärijä: Absolutely. It’s probably for the better. This time.
host2: And it’s tasty! You can try both of them.
K: Is this green one also a pina colada? (tastes)
hosts: Ummmm (unsure noises) we are also curious to know (laugh) But hey, glad you could come amidst all the hustle! You’ve been all over like a … a pina colada.
K: (sipping his drinks) (chuckles at the metaphor). Exactly. Happy to be here, thank you for inviting me. And amazing that we have these [pina coladas] here. I actually haven’t really drunk these that much, so thank you for this!
H1: They’ve gotten a lot more popular lately, the sales have gotten up. Have you heard about that?
K: Well yeah, yeah I’ve been told that there has been some empty shelves.
H1: Green yarns sold-out, green fabrics sold-out, (H2: green nailpolish too), pina coladas…
K: It’s indeed quite a circus that I’ve managed to create, but well, (shrugs) why not.
H2: And this is only the beginning, isn’t it?
K: That’s what I’m a bit scared of, really (laughs). That what else will people come up with?
H2: Right now you surely don’t have time for days-off, but when you do get to relax a bit, what do you like to do?
K: I think I’ll just snuggle underneath my Formula1 -sheets, take a little nap and think about absolutely nothing, if one is really able to do that. Or watch some series or listen to some relaxing music. But probably just be in silence.
H1: Yeah, there was a couple moments before the broadcast started, like a half a minute of quiet in the studio. You had like this serene smile on your face.
K: Yeah, I was enjoying that (laughs). I mean I of course like talking with you, too. But, when you are constantly surrounded by thousands of people, at some point it just starts to feel like you need a bit of your own space. As much as we humans are pack animals [=like and need others], too much is too much.
H2: (agreeing hums) Do you know how to take that own space when you need it?
K: Not always. Though I’ve been trying to learn to say no to things. I used to be really bad at doing that, worrying that what if I’ll upset someone etc. But now I’ve been learning, also because of this [Eurovision] that sometimes it’s just …Too bad, I just can’t do that now. That I just need to take that space (moment of realization) …And yet I still don’t have it (laughs). But, on the other hand, some things you just have to get done, and then you’ll take care of those. So… Let’s just hope that everything will go smoothly.
H1: The contest itself is about two and a half weeks away, but there has already been pre-parties all over Europe, getting people into the Eurovision spirit.
H2: Yes, let’s see how it was in London about a week ago. (cue a clip of Käärijä’s performance & fan interactions from London, Cha Cha Cha playing in the background)
(back to studio, hosts and Käärijä jumping and dancing before sitting down again)
hosts: You just can’t stay still while listening to that.
K: Even I joined in too.
H2: So much for resting.
K: Yeah, there it goes again (laughs). When I could’ve just been like (slouches on the sofa) for once.
H1: It happens to everyone! It just pulls you in, it’s such a banger.
K: Yeah, it’s quite enegetic. Though I’ve also tried to not listen to it a little bit, so that it doesn’t become completely (gun to the head -gestures). But I hear it all the time anyway. Everywhere (flailing hands).
H2: So, pre-parties all over Europe. How did you feel about those?
K: Damn good, foremost. It was so amazing to see people singing along to a finnish song. Hadn’t really even imagined that something like that could happen. Met wonderful people there, such amazing personalities, and the mood was great. It really felt like a family, everyone cheering for each other and no like, any disturbances, like what could sometimes happen in an ordinary gig, you know. Really great. I’m glad I went. At first I thought that I wouldn’t go at all (H2: to Eurovision, or…?) – No, no! I meant the pre-parties (H2: Ah, yes) so that I could rest, because they can be quite …demanding. Lots of interviews, travelling, waiting around and so on… And then during Madrid trip I also got sunburnt …roasted my skin a little (laughs) Oh well, I’ll have a bit of a tan now, no burns any longer. But overall it was really good, though also tough.
H1: So you keep a professional attitude about it all? Like, ’this is work, not partying, focus on the job’?
K: Keep focus on the job, yeah. You always aim for a win. Of course you must also remember to enjoy the experience, but the attitude is still like ”See you at the Market Square [= for victory celebrations], all of Finland”. I’d feel so quilty if I’d be just drinking and partying around amid all this, I might never forgive myself.
H2: People have been fitting the victor’s mantle on you [=predicting him to win] already. And on Sweden’s Loreen, whom we saw briefly in the video clip. How do you feel about the pressure of being a fan favorite?
K: I don’t really take pressure about it. In a way. I mean of course I feel like …I have that pressure, but, I haven’t really understood it, It hasn’t quite sunk in yet, because I’m just running from one place to another all the time. I haven’t had time to be stressed about the H-hour, because there is still so much happening before that. I don’t think that quite a panic alarm moment (slamming gesture) will happen before the contest, but some level of nervousness will probably still hit me, as it did in the UMK. But the moment you get on the stage, it’s quite an easy case from there on, in the end.
H1: Right. But hey, here we are, holding on to our drinks with both hands, but you’d actually need a third one, as you have also a cup of tea there in front of you.
K: Yes, and also a cup of water on top of that.
H1: For some voice maintenance, right?
K: Yes, as you can probably hear, my voice has taken some damage [he is sounding a little hoarse occasionally] but let’s hope it’ll get better before the contest. You wouldn’t want to attend with a voice like this.
H1: Yeah, but let’s not be too worried for now, as there is still time left.
K: Luckily there is. And we’ll make some more if we have to.
H2: Right. So, you’ll leave on Sunday?
K: On Sunday, yes. You all will be here celebrating May Day, while I’ll be packing my funnel cakes and mead with me and taking off to Liverpool.
H1: The fan phenomenon has caught everyone by surprise. It’s… I assume it has surprised you, surely it has surprised all of Finland, maybe Europe too. I mean, it’s massive!
K: Right. It’s awesome. It’s kinda funny, all the things this has lead into and like, the kind of people that have sent me messages. Like, world-class artists even from abroad and so on. It’s strange how at some point nothing feels like anything anymore. I mean, when you don’t have time to enjoy it, like getting good news about one thing, because another thing is already happening right after. And then comes another thing, and another and another and another. Because every day there is something new, cool and fun happening to me at the moment. I haven’t had time… - I’ve really had no time to properly process any of what I’ve been given. I’ve just, gone somewhere to do stuff and then been off to the next place already and been like ’ok you do that I do this’ (delegating gestures) and so on. I hope that at some point I’ll get some time to think about all that has happened. Of course I’ve enjoyed this, but…maybe not in a way that people might assume? It hasn’t been just living on cloud nine all the time, for real. Even though this is what I’ve wanted, and wanted to get my music out there here in Finland, and, now it seems to be happening in Europe and elsewhere too, so yeah…
H2: Fans have been running after you and so on… Apparently there has been some extreme reactions even? Someone had…?
K: Yeah, one person fainted.
H1: Where did this happen?
K: In Madrid (H2: so they saw you?). Yes. And… They all behaved really well, like, in Finland people just take pics and whisper to each other, but there – they’ll run after you. It’s really a shocking feeling when you step out the door and everyone starts screaming and (running gesture) they are running and then we are running (laughs). But, it’s not like …If you said no to something that they asked for, they were really respectful and nice about it [despite the enthusiasm].
H2: So, someone just saw you and just, simply couldn’t handle the shock?
K: Yeeahh. Though, sometimes I can barely handle it either, when I see myself in the mirror (laughs) (hosts laughing).
H1: The Käärijä hype is intensifying indeed. But, let’s add to that a bit more with the following clip.
(Videoclip about a family of real Käärijä superfans, where the mom had made Käärijä’s Cha Cha Cha costumes for her three sons and even the family dogs. the boys are dancing and talking about how much they like Käärijä)
H1: They are really rooting for you.
H2: Aww, such sweet boys.
K: So cool.
H2: They really got it down, dance moves and all.
K: Yeah, I’m speechless, honestly. Like, amidst all this there’s little time to pay attention to what is happening around you in the world. And then there’s kids like that… It’s truly amazing thing, thank you to them, really. All the best to them. And the parents too, truly tipping my hat to them for like, for doing all that for the kids. I remember back when I played ice hockey, it was my parents made it happen for me too, taking care of things so that I got to play. And now those boys want to be Käärijäs. Just, lots of love to the whole family. [He seemed to be quite touched about this clip. Either that or he just happens to struggle with his voice a bit right then, sounding a little quivering for a sec]
H1: Exactly. So. Käärijä is Jere and Jere is Käärijä, is that the way it goes? Are you still just Jere for those closest to you, or is everyone calling you Käärijä by now?
K: Ahhh, well, mom is calling me Käärijä now (H2: okay). I’ve had to sometimes tell her to stop it already, or that else I’ll adopt myself into a new family to have someone who calls me Jere (laughs). Just kidding, really, she’s just proud and excited about all this. But I hear it a lot, this Käärijä stuff. It can get a little dull, because sometimes you’d just like to forget this work stuff, when you are at home etc. and talk about other things than Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha and music. Sometimes it makes me wonder like, …what have I gotten myself into?
H2: A phenomenon has been born, indeed. Well, we asked for you to bring some pics from your home album, and you brought these two (pics of him as a kid behind a drum kit and him in his late teens wearing hospital pj’s appear on the screen). There they are… You could tell us a little about them yourself. (H1: a little drummer boy). A little rookie instrumentalist there. A little drummer boy, yes.
K: (looking at the pic) Yeah, I’ve enjoyed banging drums since I was little. My brother played guitar and we watched some Fröbelin Palikat [a finnish kid’s music band], used kettles as drums and and, brother had this weird thingy as a guitar. Then at some point I got my own drums, started drum lessons and eventually even taught my classmates at school how to play. My teacher assigned that task for me. But that career didn’t last, in the end. Wasn’t quite that interested in drums after all, I guess. But that’s where my sense of rhythm and all comes, surely. And anyway, where would you put those things in a small flat? Banging them in some apartment building, you’ll get evicted in a second. But, drums are still close to my heart and whenever I get the chance I do grab the sticks and see if I’m still any good at playing them.
H1: And then, how about the second pic (of him in a hospital cafeteria or some common area, sitting by a table filling lottery coupons)
K: Right, that’s an interesting one. I got sick with Colitis ulcerosa, I think that was the latin name for it. And well, I think that was taken around the time it was at it’s worst.
H2: So it’s a bowel disease?
K: Yes, my entire colon got inflamed eventually and I ended up needing an emergency operation to remove it quickly, to prevent the inflammation from spreading to other parts of the body. I was hanging by a thread, honestly. I wasn’t even going to go [to the hospital] at first, but dad forced me and dragged me in there. Packed up some The Simpsons movies and my pillow and was like ’we are going now, son’ and… yeah. Honestly the shittiest time of my life, not wishing that for anyone. But it did also make me grow a lot as a person, and I wouldn’t change anything for myself, I’m totally okay with this. I’m alive, in the situation that I’m in now, and it changed who I am. Of course I have things where to improve even now, but it took me forward at the time, regarding my values and such, I think I’m in quite a good place now. (back to describing the pic) I went to place some bets [the lottery coupons] to pass time, there wasn’t anything else to do. Friends or my brother sometimes came to watch ice hockey from TV with me while I was laying in the hospital.
H2: You are wearing hospital clothes in the pic. Did you spend long periods of time in there?
K: I was there for like two weeks at a time. Went there every now and then, had an IV drip and laid there, had some medication and such. But in the end the treatments didn’t work and had to have the surgery, remove the colon completely. So, yeah. But, it’s a thing that happened to me and one just has to learn – and I have learned – to live with it. It won’t destroy your world if a thing like that does happen, on the contrary, it can open some new doors, that’s how I try to view it. But again, wouldn’t wish that for anyone, or anything like it. Yeah. That was a tough time. Made a young guy think about stuff, how others are out there partying, going to festivals and all that, and I didn’t get to have that. It went on for about a year, and towards the end I just laid in bed. I couldn’t go anywhere because I’d be just shitting blood in my pants right away etc. I was just, bumping into doors, barely able to stay on my feet, so…
H2: And a year is a long time in a young person’s life.
K: It was, yes. I had to drop everything. All the sports I did back then. I was really into going to the gym at the time, had certain goals I wanted to achieve and was working towards them. They aren’t important any longer, guess they weren’t even back then, really, but it did hit me hard at the time, when I lost 10 kg, from that kind of body (H2: woah). I weighed 49 kg at the worst point, hemoglobin about 54, or 56.
H2: Rough numbers, truly.
K: Yeah, it wasn’t healthy at all, I was pale as a sheet. In that pic I’m actually still looking surprisingly fresh. Yeah, I was just skin and bones.
H1: And does the disease still affect your life today?
K: Well, of course in the way that I have to go to the bathroom more often, 7 or 8 times a day on average. But I’m used to it, it’s not an issue for me. I can hold it in – so, rest easy there on the other side of the camera, no need to worry that something might happen mid-performance …Well let’s knock on wood just in case – But otherwise, not really… well, I can’t eat spicy food anymore. That will surely destroy my mood and the pipes, so to speak. So there are some things, but I’ve lived with this for so long already that it’s just normal for me.
H2: Surely. Bit of a balancing act.
H1: Hey, you spoke earlier about how people want to talk a lot [about you], and we want to talk and everyone wants to talk about Eurovision, and how it would be great to speak about anything else, even about the weather. But now! Now we’ll talk about it!
H2: Yes, let’s watch the clip first, about a very fundamental question.
(a videoclip of interviewing people abouth whether winters used to be better in your childhood than they are nowadays :D Conclusion: it’s more a matter of childhood nostalgia and personal memories than anything else)
H1: Soo, Jere. Were the winters better back when you were a kid?
K: Well, yeah. Especially now that I’m thinking about all the memories connected to them. I liked snowboarding/downhill skiing [unclear which one he means] a lot back then, and i do feel that there was more snow and it came earlier, but of course my memories might be faulty and in reality we were just skidding on bare ground. But yeah, I have a feeling there used to be more snow and outdoor ice rinks and chances to build snow castles and things like that.
H2: Yeah, you must’ve been familiar with the ice rinks, since you played ice hockey for many years, right?
K: Yes, though with little success. But yeah, I did go swat the puck for a time.
H2: That looks quite proper to me (looking at pics of him in a hockey match).
K: Well, I’ve got the gear on and the puck in my control, so that helps (laughs).
H1: I gathered that you played quite many positions?
K: Yeah, I did go through them all, but none of them was my thing, in the end. But I have very fond memories from my hockey days, too. Though it was also like banging your head to a wall sometimes, too. That either wasn’t just sunshine and rainbows all the time. Very hard training at one point, and from there it swung to the other end when I was mainly just fiddling around. Like, training once a week and then playing a match. But yeah, spent a lot of time at ice halls.
H2. Yes, and speaking of halls. It was on the news today that your iconic green bolero has now been frozen and hoisted up to the ceiling of Helsinki Ice hall rink.
K: Yes, there it hangs now. Up there it went.
H2: An honorary gesture for the shirtless rager. To cheer you on.
K: Yes, my thanks for them all, too. And we’ll have a gig there at the hall in May also, so it was really cool of them to come up with such event. I guess they wanted to wish me luck and bring some joy to the people with a silly happening like that.
H1: And there’s also the positive side to it that it wont get lost from up there (chuckles).
K: Yes, it sure won’t. Unless someone finds a crane or something to get it. So I’m sure it’ll be waiting for me there.
H2: Your live performances are quite demanding physically. Do you think this (points at the hockey pic) laid the groundwork for that?
K: Yes, I’m sure of it. Like, thinking back to the time I was in hospital, I bounced back really fast and got back in good shape even though I was a total wreck after that one year. But when I got back to the gym and jogging trails I started putting weight and muscle back on quite soon. There is some, like, muscle memory to it. I can tell my sports background has it’s effect. That’s why I wish that also the youth of today would all have the chance to have hobbies. It’s not possible for everyone, but I wish it was, because it brings a lot of good, improves your health and brings new friends and so on.
H1: So then, like, most of us have only seen Cha Cha Cha from you at this point, but how are your usual gigs? How long and how physical are they typically?
K: About 45 min to an hour, around 12 or 13 songs a gig. And… yeah, they are quite a mayhem, even more than Cha Cha Cha is, some pretty fast-paced songs in there. You get to shriek and rage and run and hype the audience to your heart’s content.
H2: No wonder that your voice is a bit down, then. You aren’t holding anything back while on stage?
K: No, I think that if somebody has paid, whether it’s 5 euros or 50 euros for the ticket, I’ll give it my all every time. I don’t want the people to feel like I’m slacking off , came there to just collect some easy money, or that I’m not interested in being there. Because it is our shared experience, when the audience is there. I am not alone in there, but together with everyone, and it should be a party for all of us then.
H1: Of course. So, on Sunday you’ll be on the move, but before that a little time to rest, to spare yourself. You won’t be doing any gigs before the ESC anymore, right?
K: I won’t, no.
H1: Great. You’ll get your voice in top condition, yes?
K: Yes.
Hosts: (starting to wrap up the interview] But! BUT! Now, let’s put on some music, shall we? Just a couple little dance moves, pleeease. We can’t end this without a little Cha Cha Cha! So, good luck to you in Liverpool (K: thank you], but now, let’s head onto the dance floor (everyone running away from the sofas). Teach us some moves that everyone should know!
(chaotic Cha Cha Cha-ing ensues, until the hosts form a mini-piggytrain and Käärijä rides away from the camera view. The End.)
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Tojoctober Day 25 - Father
(I’ll make the world safe and sound for you)
Alt title is from “Dear Theodosia” which is from Hamilton
Haruka inquires about Kazama. Kiryu surprisingly answers.
(Kiwami spoilers)
—----------------------------------
It’s a late night for Kiryu, as he was kept awake by maintenance around the orphanage, the things that he didn’t want the kids to help with. He’s sitting on his futon, about to light a cigarette, when he hears his door creak open. He turns around, expecting to see one of the younger kids, and prepares to comfort another nightmare.
What he sees instead is Haruka, who is peering into the room.
“Uncle Kaz?” she whispers.
“I’m awake, Haruka. Come in.” He beckons her into the room, and she closes the door behind her.
“Is everything ok?” he asks. It’s the first time she’s come into his room since they’ve moved here.
“I can’t get to sleep.” Haruka says, crawling over the futon to get to where Kiryu sits.
“I understand.” Kiryu wraps an arm around Haruka’s shoulders. He’s still a bit in awe with how much she’s grown in the past couple of years. The little girl who went through so much is almost shoulder-to-shoulder with him when they’re sitting.
They sit in a comfortable silence for a little bit before Haruka speaks up.
“Did you like your father, Uncle Kaz?”
Kiryu feels his heart drop.
“My… do you mean Kazama-san?”
“I don’t remember much about him… but we talked to him for a little bit, right?”
“Yeah, we did.” Kiryu shut his eyes, thinking about his adoptive father. “Despite his reputation, he was a merciful man. He taught Nishiki and I a lot about his world. He was a beacon of light that we all looked to and admired. He wasn’t perfect, but he cared for us, and as orphans that’s all we could ask for.”
“Do you think he was a good father?” Haruka asks. Kiryu opens his eyes again, and looks at the young girl.
“He probably could’ve done better,” Kiryu admitted, “but he did what he could. He didn’t have to create Sunflower, yet he did. He didn’t have to let Nishiki and I swear up, but he did. I’ll forever be grateful to him.”
“I wonder if… Jingu ever loved me.” Haruka looks at her lap, unable to meet his eyes any longer. Kiryu's heart sinks even further.
“I’m not too sure about that. However, I know that your mother loved you very much.”
“How did you know, Uncle Kaz?” she looks back into Kiryu’s eyes.
“Well…” Kiryu reflected on Yumi for a brief moment, but seemed to know the answer all along. “She looked at you like you were her entire world. Even in her last moments, she was concerned about you and your well being. I may doubt her choice in me sometimes, but I cannot deny her love for you.” he finishes, giving her a small smile.
Haruka’s eyes widen, and she looks back down at her lap. It’s only a few seconds before Kiryu sees a tear fall from her face.
“Uncle Kaz… I miss my mom.” Haruka chokes out, throwing her arms around his neck, and beginning to sob into his shoulder. They sit like this for a second until Kiryu speaks his mind.
“Haruka… I will never replace your mother. But, I promise I will do the best I can. Ok?” “You… don’t need to worry about that,” Haruka sits up, still keeping her arms around Kiryu’s neck. “You may think of yourself as Uncle Kaz, but you’ve always been my father.”
This time, Kiryu is the one who starts to cry.
#tojoctober#yakuza#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#kiryu kazuma#haruka sawamura#they really should talk about their shared experiences more#just let them be a family#let haruka come visit the new island paradise with Yuta and Haruto
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“You’re damn lucky that ended as well as it did,” Jones is seething. “We’re not doing something like this again, you got that? Piss-poor plan.”
“I lived,” Jason protests, curling into the hoodie somebody brought for him. Jones scoffs.
“The bar for that is low.”
“It really is,” Drouot chimes in. Traitor. “Sorry.”
Apology not accepted.
“Nothing’s broken.”
“I suggest shutting up,” Jones warns from behind him. When no one comes riding to his aid, he figures that’s probably best. He’s proven correct when Clyde does that hum that means he’s deeply disappointed in somebody’s life choices.
“That was a little close,” he says mildly. “Could’ve gotten nasty.”
“It didn’t.”
“What do you call the cattle prod, then?” Jones cuts in. Ah. That. That was bad, that was admittedly bad. “Never mind–let me look at it in better lighting before you shower off.”
Ugh. Jason is really looking forward to the shower. He feels grimy and miserable already, and it didn’t…
Nothing happened. But strangers’ hands on his skin always puts him in a bad way and he wants to wash the memories of groping palms off.
“Fine,” he says shortly. “Let’s just get this over with.”
He gets to keep his sweatpants, at least, but he has to part with the hoodie. Getting it off is difficult–that prod upset the preexisting injury more than he thought–and Jones finally helps him yank it over his head.
“All right,” he says. “Lie back, be still.”
It’s not his fault. It’s not. But Jason’s heard that before in another context and he’s spent the last few days sans clothing, with people jeering at him and dragging him around, and…
And so sue him, he needs a goddamn minute.
“Please,” he blurts out, skin crawling from the dirt and the cold air. “Please don’t touch me. Just. Just give me a minute.”
Jones just shrugs.
“I need a water anyway,” he says. “Want one?”
It’s an out. He takes it gratefully.
“Yes.”
Too late, he realizes that he’s now alone. It’s not…he hasn’t been alone, not really, for this ordeal. Someone was almost always in his ear, keeping him updated or just entertained. Well, as entertained as possible, given the circumstances. But if things had gone wrong, or even just skewed, he’d been on his own.
Get it together.
He wants his hoodie back on. Well, really, he wants a shower, but right now he wants his hoodie.
A glass thunks down near him and he’s a little worried about the fact that he didn’t hear Jones come back.
Tired. Just tired.
“They didn’t drug you, did they?”
“Didn’t eat anything they gave me, so I don’t think so.” He doesn’t remember that. Surely he’d remember. “Just knocked me around a little.”
“Well, I’m worried about that.” A finger jabs at his stomach. “You don’t seem to have a concussion, and nobody ever died from bruised ribs, but if they fucked that up, I’m coming for them in the afterlife.”
Translation: I need to inspect it and you need to deal with it.
He drains his water, parched throat setting off celebratory firecrackers in response, and goes down.
“It’s fine.”
“Did you go to medical school?”
“Batman did a couple of semesters.”
“Batman can fuck off and die.” A warm, wet washcloth dabs at his stomach and he flinches. “Okay…you’ve got some burns, don’t get me wrong, but he didn’t actually hit the drill hole, so…” Firm prodding. “I want you to take it easy. No grappling, no sit-ups, no spin-kicks, no nothing for this entire weekend. You sleep, you eat, you hydrate. And that’s all you get to do.”
Well, that sucks. But at least he doesn’t have to have anything done to him.
“But it’s fine?”
“Amazingly, it’s fine.” Jones steps back and Jason sits up, arms curling around his ribs. “Don’t get crazy on it with the scrubbie, though.”
“Thanks.”
“Thank me by not putting yourself in these situations,” Jones gripes. “Go shower; not too hot, if you pass out in there I’ll kill you.”
He refills his water on the way, sticks a lid on it, and figures what Jones doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He just needs to get the phantom hands off his skin, that’s all.
It’s been a long few days.
THE END
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🥰🤩(Eddie Thawne)😔
🥰 a fluff WIP snippet
“I mean, humans have done a lot of shitty things.” “That is no excuse.” “True.” She said. “But from what I hear you’re trying your best to be better.” Orm had to process that for a moment. “…Arthur talks about me?” “Course he does!” Maia gave him a look like he was being an idiot. “He loves you, you know – even before all of this he used to talk about you if I asked. Always wanted to meet you even after…well, after.”
This is a little bit from my Aquafam AU - Maia is Arthur's teenage cousin and does have a tendancy to just drop this kind of information in a conversation, though in this case she assumes that Arthur's kind of...already told him this, as its been a few months since everything went down so surely Arthur must've mentioned this, right?
(He has not.)
🤩a WIP snippet about or with dialogue from [Eddie Thawne]
Malcolm felt that it was very ironic that the last couple weeks had been somewhat slow. Which was a good thing, of course, because that meant no disasters or situations, meant his friends and family were safe, which was all that mattered – and, of course, gave him more time to spend with his brother, because they did have over eleven years to catch up on, after all. Eddie had been seeing his therapist regularly since he’d poured out his guilt to Malcolm in tears – it had broken Malcolm’s heart seeing Eddie so devastated, so full of self-loathing, a far cry from the pillar of strength Eddie had always appeared to be in Malcolm’s childhood. Having had his own mental health struggles he understood, but he’d kicked himself for not realising something was wrong sooner, that of course his older brother would be struggling after everything that had gone down. But Eddie was going to therapy and Malcolm had seen his college counsellor, and things were on their way to getting better.
This is from Cobalt Blue Part 3, which is gonna be a little lighter than Part 2 but obviously has to deal with what happened then - Eddie finally opened up about things which is a good thing but oh, it was difficult for Malcolm to hear.
😔published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?
“Malcolm?” Eddie said quietly, disbelief and hope warring in his voice...and Malcolm understood why - five months of seeing someone comatose had to affect you, especially when there were no easy answers. “Hey, Eddie.” Not exactly the most stunning reply he could’ve given, but really, Malcolm didn’t know where to start, and expected questions from Eddie before that same awkwardness descended. Instead he found himself engulfed in a hug and Malcolm didn’t even hesitate before hugging him back just as tightly, holding onto Eddie as his brother started shaking. “Oh god, Malcolm, you’re awake. I thought you...I thought you were going to die.” He sounded really choked up and it pulled at Malcolm’s heartstrings because...Eddie never sounded like that. He was normally so...so sunny, so warm... “I didn’t, Eddie,” he reassured him. “I’m right here, and I’m fine.”
Honestly brothers (lost and found) was an emotional journey all the way through but this? This part? A reunion, a hug, eleven years in the making after a traumatic ordeal? Really fucking got me, like I was honestly tearing when writing this section, let alone the rest of the scene like they're hugging and they're going to be alright!
Wip fic ask game
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Invisible string
Everywhere Minho had been, Jisung was sure to go. The universe dragged him along until they stumbled into each other's lives.
Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad
Warnings: Alc*hol, swearing, mention of d*ath (lighthearted,
Minho always takes his breath away. The way he effortlessly glides across the ice, the way he makes every jump and turn look like second nature. Jisung trails behind him, admiring the way the older boy lights up whenever they lock eyes. “Why won’t you dance with me, Jisung-ah?” “Oh my god, do you want me to eat shit?” Jisung runs his hands down his face in mock exasperation, and Minho grins at him. “It wouldn’t be the first time, and I’m so sure it won’t be the last.” He opens his mouth to argue but just lets out a dramatic huff as Minho stretches out his hand. “I’m not doing it.” It isn’t until Minho is pulling him close and spinning them both so fast that they topple to the ground that Jisung let himself laugh, dropping the feigned annoyance. “You’re trying to get me killed, aren’t you?” Minho just cackles ---
Jisung pulls his coat tighter around his shoulders, but it does nothing to ease the chill running down his spine. Autumn always left him wishing the summer could’ve lasted a little longer, but he finds himself forgetting the breeze as slender fingers intertwine with his own.
“This park was my favourite when I was a kid” Minho sighs from beside him, bumping their shoulders together as he took in the damage time had done to his childhood oasis. The benches practically crumbling on either side of the disintegrating pathways, the garbage piling up around the long-forgotten trash cans. Jisung suddenly feels bad, wants to patch the holes in the concrete, wants to rebuild the world around them just the way it existed when Minho was younger “I wrote a lot of my songs here the past couple of years” Jisung pauses, glancing at Minho. The older man smiles softly, urging him to go on. “I wonder if they would’ve been better if things here weren’t so….”
“Your songs are good, Jisung-ah.” Minho is quick to interject, the fondest smile on his face. “But I think I like them more knowing you wrote them here.” Jisung feels the red creeping up his neck, rolling his eyes. “The good ones are the ones about you. Everything else is subpar at best.” Minho laughs at that, causing Jisung’s heart to skip a beat. They sit on one of the more intact benches along their path, pressing their thighs together to stay close. When Minho offers his pocket to Jisung to keep his hands warm, he happily accepts. The silence between them is light and comfortable as they watch the couples stroll down the twisting paths together, making up backstories for people they will never meet.
It isn’t until the sun starts to set and the chill has leaked through to Jisung’s bones that they get up again, wandering a bit further into the park to find something warm to eat. They find somebody selling Dakkochi and Minho insists on paying. “I could’ve paid” Jisung huffs before he starts to eat. Minho shrugs and just smiles at him.
Jisung starts to shiver as the sun tucks itself below the horizon. Minho curls his arm around him and kisses his hair. “Let’s get you home, hm?”
“We can stay a little longer. The stars might come out if we’re lucky.” Jisung smiles at him and tucks himself into the older boy’s side. “Ah, I’ve already seen the brightest one today” Minho muses, eyes never leaving Jisung. “Tch, what has you feeling so cheesy today? Let’s swing for a bit before we go, the playground is never this empty.”
Minho hums thoughtfully before looking up to the sky “I’m always cheesy when I’m with you. Race you to the swings?”
The sun was warm beating down on Jisung’s back. Chan stretched out in the grass, beaming up at him as the two soaked up the last rays of sun before the leaves started to fall. “I’m glad we finally made the move.”
“Me too, hyung. I think this town might be good for us.” Jisung pulled his earbuds from his pocket, holding one out towards Chan. The older man took it, closing his eyes to try to immerse himself in the low-fi beats playing softly through it. “I think so too. It’ll be nice to get away from..” Chan trailed off, eyes flashing with worry. Jisung hated when Chan looked at him like that. “We don’t have to talk about him.” He sounded a little colder than he intended when he replied but Chan just nodded understandingly.
“It’ll be nice to get a fresh start. This park’s kind of bumming me out, though.” Jisung snorted at that, shrugging before laying back. “I think it’s… charming. Or unsettling, whatever you prefer.” Chan barked out a laugh and rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow.
“I’m going with unsettling. Hey- Ji... I have a proposition for you.” He couldn’t help but notice the way Chan’s eyes nervously flitted between him and the people passing by. Sighing he propped himself up. “We can’t get a dog, Chan. The lease-“
“No-no, it isn’t that. But now that you mention it..” Jisung shoved him gently as he tried to suppress the smile tugging at his lips. “Seriously, bro. What’s up?” Chan took a deep breath before he sat up fully, scratching the back of his neck. “The label, they love my beats but.. but I think they’re starting to lose patience waiting for me to write up the lyrics. I think... I think I could use your help.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Chan squeezed his arm gently, the touch sending a shiver through the younger boy’s spine. “Listen- I know you don’t really share your writing but… Jisung-ah, you’re so talented. I think people deserve to hear what you have to say. My label would love you, and I want nothing more than to do all of this with my best friend. At least think about it?” Jisung frowned as he shook his head. “I only ever write about him anymore. It’s nothing that should see the light of day.”
“But that’s what I’m saying, Ji. I think you have a story to tell. And.. don’t you think it’d be therapeutic? To put all your feelings out there in a constructive way?” Chan’s gaze burned through him, now. Jisung floundered, searching for something to say. “Just think about it, Ji. I’m not asking you to say yes right now.” Chan smiled reassuringly, and Jisung couldn’t risk seeing disappointment on Chan’s face today. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask, Ji. Now, I have to get up before I go insane. Race you to the swings?”
*
The winter chill has settled into Jisung’s bones but to savour the smile on his boyfriend’s face he pretends he doesn’t feel a thing. Minho is smiling up at him, raven strands blowing in the wind as he finishes tying up the blond boy’s ice skates. “You’re so whipped, baby” Jisung teases, rising from the bench and following Minho out onto the pond. “I’m not the one coming out in the freezing cold because my boyfriend batted their eyelashes a little.” Jisung’s ears burn but he hopes they can just chalk it up to the icy wind.
Minho always takes his breath away. The way he effortlessly glides across the ice, the way he makes every jump and turn look like second nature. Jisung trails behind him, admiring the way the older boy lights up whenever they lock eyes. “Why won’t you dance with me, Jisung-ah?”
“Oh my god, do you want me to eat shit?” Jisung runs his hands down his face in mock exasperation, and Minho grins at him. “It wouldn’t be the first time, and I’m so sure it won’t be the last.” He opens his mouth to argue but just lets out a dramatic huff as Minho stretches out his hand. “I’m not doing it.”
It isn’t until Minho is pulling him close and spinning them both so fast that they topple to the ground that Jisung let himself laugh, dropping the feigned annoyance. “You’re trying to get me killed, aren’t you?” Minho just cackles.
Hyunjin was huffing and puffing beside him. “It’s fucking cold” he finally spat as he pulled his scarf farther up to shield his face from the wind. “It’s not my fault you agreed to come here, maybe next time you should pick a hobby that isn’t winter-based.” Jisung shoved his hands in his pockets as he stepped out onto the frozen pond, joining the flow of the people around him.
“It’s not a hobby,” Hyunjin whined, grabbing tightly onto Jisung’s arm. “I just can’t embarrass myself in front of Chan on Friday. I need the practice.” Jisung laughed at that, putting a hand over Hyunjin’s. “I’ll teach you, don’t worry.”
The two skated laps around the pond, Jisung weaving them in between the dozens of people who had a similar idea of skating on what felt like the coldest day that winter. Hyunjin stayed on his feet, surprisingly, and the two spent the afternoon gossiping about their friend Felix’s last party.
“I heard he won’t be having another any time soon.” Hyunjin laughed when Jisung looked at him with wide eyes. “I heard his roommate wasn’t stoked to come home to Changbin and Seungmin in his bed, completely flipped out on him.” Jisung grimaced, shaking his head. “Can you blame him? I already don’t like having them in my house, let alone desecrating my bed.” Hyunjin laughed and shrugged. “Well, isn’t there something kind of romantic about needing each other so much that you can’t wait until you get home?” Jisung’s stomach churned and he held a hand up. “Please, for the love of god, stop talking.”
When he looked away, a dramatic scowl on his face, is when he saw him for the first time. The most beautiful man Jisung had ever seen. Raven black hair fell into his eyes, a nose hand sculpted by God himself. The man skated around the curve of the pond ahead of them, a peaceful look settled over his sharp features. The world seemed to stop when they lock eyes across the way, and Jisung felt like he couldn't breathe. The stranger smiles lightly at him, and- oh, fuck.
It’s like it happened in slow motion. The ground seemed to slip from beneath Jisung’s feet, and the stranger’s warm smile turned into gleeful laughter as the brunet hit the ground, groaning. Hyunjin let out a dramatic yell, falling as he tried to avoid tripping over Jisung. “You’re trying to get me killed, aren’t you?”
*
They sat quietly at a table near the window, basking in each other’s company and watching the rain fall. The cafe around them is quiet, with barely anyone sitting at the tables around them. Jisung curles his hands a little tighter around his iced americano and turns to the man across from him, smiling softly. Minho stared out the window, smiling to himself. The raindrops that have settled into his hair begin running down his face. Before he could absent-mindedly wipe them away, Jisung is reaching across the table and brushing them away with his thumb.
He smiles brightly, admiring the way Minho’s ears turned red as he turns to glare at him.
“You’re so annoying” Minho huffs, waving Jisung’s hand away. He just laughs at his boyfriend’s annoyance, shaking his head. “Do you need a refill, jagiya?” Minho holds out his empty mug, the remnants of his hot chocolate lingering at the bottom. “I need something to help me cope with knowing you.”
“They don’t serve rum here, but I’ll see what I can do.” Minho’s giggles follow Jisung to the counter. God, Jisung thinks as his chest swells, Minho’s laughter is his favourite sound in the world.
When he makes it back to the table, he slides into the chair next to Minho instead. The older boy is quick to curl his arm around Jisung’s waist and press a chaste kiss to lips before looking back outside. “The rain in the spring,” he pauses, glancing to make sure Jisung’s listening. He hums in acknowledgement, eyes never having left the older man’s face. Minho’s ears turn red again as he opens his mouth “It always reminds me of you.”
Jisung smiles shyly, heat creeping up his neck. “You can’t just say things like that, it’s gross.” Minho scoffs and sucks his teeth before looking back out the window. “I mean it. You know- the spring rain is what breathes life back into the world after the winter, right? It’s the reason the world continues after the suffocation of the snow.” If Jisung wasn’t blushing before he definitely is now. He reaches out and intertwines their fingers, squeezing gently. Minho keeps going, turning to smile at him. “You’re my spring. You breathed the life back into me.” Jisung doesn’t know what to say, so he presses their lips together instead. Minho laughs lightly into it and lets go of his hand in favour of resting a hand on his cheek. As Jisung places his hand over top he can’t help but think they fit so perfectly together, every curve of Minho being designed to be joined to Jisung. They don’t pull away until they’re both left breathless.
“I love you, Jisung.” Minho is looking at him with a look Jisung knows is reserved just for him. He looks so soft, so genuine. It’s rare to see this look on his face, but Jisung soaks up every second of it. “Thank you for loving me..” he trails off, trying to find enough letters in the English language to express exactly how he’s feeling right now. He knows that no matter what he says, Minho will know exactly what he means. He knows that Minho feels it too, he can see it in everything he does. Words will never be enough, so he just sighs and says “You’re too good to me.”
Jisung was having maybe the worst day of his existence so far. He started that morning by spilling his coffee all over himself and his car seat. On his way into the studio, he hit a pothole head-on and destroyed one of his tires. Once he finally showed up, two hours later than he’d planned, most of the songs he’d submitted ended up getting rejected, the investors saying something about them being too depressing, and just not aligning with the angle the label was hoping to go (“We’re trying to appeal to younger people,” They said. “We would LOVE more love songs!” Jisung completely resents this.) It wasn’t even 11 am and he was ready to turn in for the day; to consider trying again tomorrow. Only to add insult to injury, it started pouring on his way to the coffee shop down the street from Chan’s apartment. By the time he made it inside, Jisung was soaked to the bone, teeth chattering. He thought about how much he hated the spring, it rained far too often and far too much.
He approached the counter and was suddenly face to face with that gorgeous man from all those months ago. Jisung hoped he was imagining the flash of recognition in his eyes. His own eyes flickered down to the man’s name tag. Minho. “What can I get for you?” Minho asked, smiling warmly. “Can I just get a large iced Americano, please?” The raven-haired man nodded happily and punched in the order, telling Jisung his total. His heart dropped when he patted down his pockets to find them empty. “Fuck- seriously?” He sighed, taking a step back. “I forgot my wallet. Just.. forget it.”
As Jisung turned to leave he heard Minho clear his throat awkwardly before he spoke. “It’s uh... it’s alright. Your order will be ready at the end of the counter.” Jisung lookrf at him, wondering if he was imagining the tips of Minho’s ears turning bright red. “Are you sure?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Minho flashed him another warm smile and walked off to make Jisung’s coffee. He watched Minho work, admiring the peaceful look on his face as he mixed the espresso into the water. Jisung was left alone when Minho briefly slipped into the back and eyed him curiously when he returned with a small to-go box. He pushed it, alongside the Americano, towards Jisung. “You look like you could use something sweet, too. I hope you like chocolate.” Jisung could’ve cried, and if he didn’t want to cling to the last shreds of dignity he had, he would have. “You don’t have to-“
“It’s alright, take it.” Minho smiled at him again and Jisung’s chest tightened. Beautiful inside and out, he thought. “Thank you. Seriously. You’ve been too good to me.” Jisung took them and left, no longer thinking about the chill left behind by the spring rain.
*
Minho has had a lot to drink tonight. Jisung tells him as much as he’s dragged to the middle of Felix’s living room where the rest of his friends are dancing. He’s not sure if Minho hasn’t heard him over the music, or maybe he’s just ignoring the voice of reason. Jisung melts into the older man’s touch when they start to dance, Minho giggling and twirling him around the room. Their laughter rivals the blaring bass before turning to cries of frustration and annoyance as Felix squeezes between the two. “Sorry, just wanted in on the fun.” Their friend smiles his most dazzling smile, and after batting his eyelashes he’s forgiven. “Hyung, can I borrow Jisungie?” Minho laughs and steps back, nodding “Only if you give him back, Yongbokie” He reaches out and pinches the blond’s cheek before giving them their space. “What’s up, Lix?” Jisung curls an arm around his friend’s waist, smiling. Felix curls his fingers into his shirt, leaning in close. “You and Minho… you’ve been together so long. How do you do it, Jisungie?”
“Did something happen between you and Jeongin?” Jisung pulls him closer, worry evident on his face. Felix shakes his head but the look on his face does nothing to ease his mind. “No, no... I’m just scared, you know? You and Minho… you make it look so easy. Why do I always feel like it’s so hard?” Felix looks like he’s seconds away from tears so Jisung pulls him off the dance floor and to a quieter corner of the apartment.
They sit close together and Jisung rubs circles into his friend’s back. “It’s not easy, you know? It’s hard to just… let yourself trust somebody like that. To give yourself away. Minho and I… when we’re having a hard time we make sure to talk to each other. You can’t just expect everything to be good all the time, you know?” Felix nods weakly, looking up at him. “If you love Jeongin and he loves you… you can find a way around whatever you’re going through right now. But you have to do it together.” Jisung takes his fingers through Felix’s hair. “Thanks, Jisungie. Let’s.. let’s get you back to your man.” Felix stands and stretches his hand out. Jisung takes it gently and follows Felix back into the party, still in full swing. When they mind Minho again, he’s dancing with Hyunjin. Chan is only a few feet away, smiling fondly at his boyfriend. Jisung steps up beside him, bumping their shoulders together. Chan just ruffles his hair and pushes him gently towards the dance floor.
When Minho spots Jisung he’s quick to abandon Hyunjin, curling his arms tightly around his waist instead. “I missed you so much, Jisung-ah.” He presses a few sloppy kisses to Jisung’s cheeks before just beaming at him. If Jisung feels disgustingly lovesick about it, nobody has to know. “We should get you home, baby.”
“Can’t we dance a little longer?” Jisung can’t say no to Minho. Not when he’s looking down at him with the stars in his eyes and a pout on his lips. “Just two more songs.” Jisung agrees, pulling him impossibly closer.
Four songs later (there’s just no way to say no to Minho when he looks so happy) the music has slowed down. Jisung buries his face in Minho’s neck, closing his eyes. Minho rubs his back gently and kisses the top of his head as they sway to the music. Everything is perfect. There’s no place he’d rather be.
Not too long after that they head out onto the warm summer night and start the short walk home. Minho isn’t extraordinarily steady on his feet tonight, so Jisung all but carries him home. By the time they’re through in their apartment, it looks like Minho could sleep right where he stood. “Let’s get you cleaned up, baby.” Jisung manhandles the older boy into the bathroom, taking extra time to make sure he’s removed all of the makeup on both their faces. “I’m so lucky to have you, '' Minho mumbles, curling his fingers around Jisung’s arm. He smiles softly and brushes the raven strands off his forehead. “I know you’d do the same for me.”
Getting Minho changed and into bed proves to be a challenge since he would much rather hang all over Jisung, but once they’re curled together under the blankets, Minho pulling him as close to his chest as he can, Jisung is happy. He feels happy. “Thank you for taking care of me” Minho has his face pressed into his hair, so it takes a second to make out what he says. Jisung laughs lightly, kissing his chest. “There’s nobody else I’d rather take care of.’
Jisung couldn’t quite remember how many shots he’d had. Changbin was cheering him on while he plucked the lime from Seungmin’s mouth. He felt victorious, everyone around him giggled and took videos of the act. “You’ve been insane tonight” Chan laughed as he clapped a hand on Jisung’s back. That’s when his stomach started to churn, so he forced a smile and patted Chan's back gently before excusing himself “to go piss”.
He pushed open the first door he saw and, to his utter dismay, was not greeted by the sight of a bathroom. He stumbled into the room and locked eyes with none other than Minho. “Do you have a garbage bin?” Minho’s eyes blew wide and he was quick to hop up and bring it to him, patting his back while he unleashed the absurd amount of tequila he’d consumed throughout the night.
Once he’d gotten it all out of his system he pushed his bangs back, coughing once before taking a step back. “Sorry” he choked out, embarrassed and swaying slightly. Minho put the garbage down, reaching out before Jisung could trip over his own feet. “Maybe you should sit down,” he said quietly, closing the door and ushering Jisung to his bed. If it had been any other person, Jisung would’ve argued he was fine and returned to the party, but something about how Minho watches him with so much concern convinced him to sit, watching Minho with wide eyes. “Let me get you some water.” the older boy said quietly, stroking Jisung’s hair gently before heading out into the still-raging party.
When he returned a couple of minutes later, Jisung had made himself quite comfortable. He was curled under Minho’s blankets, looking like he could fall asleep any second. Minho barked out a laugh that startled Jisung enough for him to prop himself up. “I brought you some water and something to take to hopefully dull the hangover.” He handed Jisung a few pills and the water. “My parents always told me not to take pills from strangers” Jisung mused, but took them anyway. Minho laughed again, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m glad you listen to them so carefully”
“They also told me not to talk to strangers, but I wouldn’t be speaking to the prettiest man I’ve ever seen if I listened.” Jisung wasn’t sure where this bravery came from (though Jeongin would suggest it’s likely the endless shots of tequila) but he was proud to see a red flush creep up Minho’s neck to his ears. “I suppose you wouldn’t be, no.”
“I thought you banned Felix from having any more parties,” Jisung teased, raising his eyebrows. “It was to avoid finding strange men in my bed. I guess this party’s been a bust for that, too.”
“I’m not a strange man!”
“Agree to disagree. The first time I ever saw you, you almost broke your ribs. Then you stole goods from my store.” Jisung sputtered out some form of defense but Minho was too busy laughing to hear it. He brushed the hair off Jisung’s face, smiling fondly at him. “But I don’t mind this as much as I mind the other two.”
There was a moment of quiet between them, Jisung’s face burning under the intensity of Minho’s gaze. “You can stay here tonight. I don’t know if you could get home on your own.” Minho’s offer was sincere and sent Jisung spiralling. “Ah- no, I can just walk home with Chan, it’s really not that-“
“I don’t think you could make it home safely. Seriously, I’ll sleep on the floor if it makes you feel better. Just stay here.” Minho squeezed Jisung’s arm gently, and the touch set his skin on fire. “I’ll take the floor, at least. Or we can share, there’s more than enough room” Jisung could feel guilt pooling in his chest picturing Minho sleeping on the floor, imagining the way his body would ache after. “We can share” Minho smiled again and stood. “Let me get you something to change into.”
“I can sleep in these-“
“Don’t be stubborn.” Minho rooted through his drawers before tossing something more comfortable in Jisung’s direction. He sighed, offered a quiet thank you, and slipped out to find the bathroom and change. He came back a few minutes too soon, he realized, when he pushed the door open to see Minho’s bare chest. Minho simply smiled at him and pulled on the shirt he was holding. Jisung pretended to look away, embarrassed. “Sorry-“
“I change at the studio all the time, people see me all sorts of ways” Minho laughed, pulling Jisung back to the bed. “The studio?” He asked, sitting on the edge. “Yeah, Felix and I teach at the same studio.”
“Oh, you dance? That’s so cool. I’ve always been too clumsy to dance.” Jisung blushed as he said that, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “ I can teach you sometime.”
“I’d like that, but didn’t you used to work at a cafe?”
“I did for a bit while I finished up school, just to help bridge the gap, but..” Minho smiled at Jisung, shrugging lightly. “Now I’ve graduated, so I can focus more on what I love doing.” Jisung’s heart swelled at how honest Minho sounded. “That’s really great. You must be happier now.”
Minho nodded before he helped Jisung get comfortable. He placed the garbage can beside the bed. “Just in case,” he said softly, stroking Jisung’s hair.
Once they were both in bed Jisung just couldn’t seem to shut himself up, but Minho didn't seem to mind. They talked for hours about anything and everything. When they realized that they wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon, they slipped out to Minho’s balcony to watch the sunrise. “Thanks for taking care of me tonight,” Jisung said, a little embarrassed. Minho bumped their shoulders together gently and watched him with a soft, sleepy smile. Minho blamed the sleep deprivation when he spilled out something silly and heartfelt. “There’s nobody else I’d rather take care of.”
*
When Jisung met Minho at that party, he never could’ve predicted this. The weeks turned into months turned into years of the two being attached at the hip. The people around them hustle and bustle in the wedding hall, trying to get everything ready. Jisung and Minho, though, they’re taking a moment for themselves. “You just… you look so handsome” Jisung breathes, curling his arm around Minho’s waist. The older boy laughs, pressing their foreheads together. “I could say the same about you. I really could.”
“But you won’t.” Jisung teases, pulling him even closer. Minho tucks a loose strand of hair behind Jisung’s ear and smiles. “Yeah, but I could.” Their moment is cut short when Jeongin comes running up to them. “Hyunjin says that it’s an emergency, and he needs somebody sensible. Minho, we need you.” Jisung feigns hurt that he isn’t considered the sensible one, but knows better than to actually argue. Minho has always been his calmer half.
The three step into Hyunjin’s room in the event hall, admiring how beautiful he looks in his all-black suit. “I’m in crisis.” Hyunjin turns to face them, struggling with his cufflinks. “We can tell” Minho teases, stepping over to help him. “I don’t mean- you’re so annoying.” Hyunjin’s huffing and puffing seems more frantic than usual, and Jisung tells him as much. “What if Chan doesn’t show? What do I do if he’s just not there?” Minho laughs at the absurdity while Jisung and Jeongin look on in stunned silence. “Are you hearing yourself? You’ve been inseparable since before I even met you guys. You’re a fucking moron if you think he’d skip out on your literal wedding day” Minho is looking at Hyunjin in pure amusement, and despite the tone, his words seem to comfort Hyunjin.
“That’s why you called us in here?” Jisung asks in disbelief. “To ask if we think Chan is going to show?” Hyunjin seems embarrassed when he nods but it doesn’t stop Jisung from laughing at him. “You’re crazy, man. Chan’s obsessed with you.” Jeongin’s phone rings, and after a few short sounds of acknowledgement he hangs up. “Sounds like it’s time to go” Jeongin smiles at them.
The ceremony goes off without a hitch. Chan, unsurprisingly, does show up. Minho quietly whispers jokes to Jisung when his eyes grow glossy at the sight of two of his best friends exclaiming their love in front of God and the government. Jisung blindly reaches back until Minho laces their fingers together, and they exchange gentle squeezes and loving glances until Hyunjin and Chan are heading back down the aisle.
It’s not until the ceremony is in full swing and everyone’s had a few drinks that Minho and Jisung get a moment to themselves again. They sneak outside for some fresh air and sit against the wall, staring up at the sky. After a few beats of comfortable silence, Minho speaks up. “You actually cried during the ceremony, huh?” Jisung laughs lightly, resting his head on Minho’s shoulder. “I love weddings. There’s something so sweet about them. A day where everybody just… celebrates how much two people love each other. A day where you kinda lose all sense, it’s all just feeling how you feel and not being ashamed to put it on display.” Minho hums in acknowledgement, falling silent again.
They watch the stars twinkle through the light pollution, not worried about anything except each other’s company. Minho breathes in as if he’s going to speak again, but closes his mouth after a few seconds. Jisung looks at him, squeezing his hand gently. “What’s on your mind?”
“Would… would you ever want to get married?” Minho looks nervous, eyes darting across Jisung’s face. He waits for a glimmer of amusement or playful mockery, but it never comes. Instead, Jisung just smiles and nods. “I’ve always dreamt of it. I just… never wanted to rush you. I’m happy with you. If we never got married, just… raised the cats and lived together, I would be perfectly content.” Minho furrows his brows “You’ve always dreamt of it… but you don’t want to if I don’t?”
“It never really seemed like your thing, you know? I don’t want you to think too much about it if you aren’t… if it’s not something you’d be ready for.” Jisung swallows thickly, only able to hold Minho’s gaze for a few seconds. “I’d like to get married, too.” Minho’s voice shakes, so Jisung squeezes his hand. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. To you.” He lets out a breathy laugh and Jisung’s heart skips a beat. “Obviously to you.”
“When would you want to get married?” Jisung asks, unsure if he’d like the answer ahead. “I… as soon as we can.” When Jisung locks his wide eyes with Minho’s, the older man is smiling fondly at him. “That’s what you really want?”
“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Jisung. The universe had us tied by a little string ever since we were born, you know? It brought you to my hometown. It brought you to my favourite place to skate in the winter, brought you to my cafe back when I was a barista... brought you to Felix so that we could meet. We’ve been pulled along by that string our whole lives. What’s the harm in tying the knot? Making it feel a little shorter?” Minho sounds so genuine. They tease each other a lot, but Jisung knows Minho would never joke about this. His eyes sting and his vision blurs. Minho can only laugh at him fondly and reach out to cup his cheek. “That’s a pretty thought, Minho.”
“Only the best for the love of my life.” Jisung sniffs, moving to sit in his lap so he can see him better. So he can get closer. Minho wipes away his tears, smiling so fondly that Jisung isn’t sure he can even breathe right now. “You’re my future, Ji. I want to spend the rest of my days with you.” Jisung can only nod, burying his face in Minho’s neck. He tries to catch his breath, to collect himself, but when Minho wraps his arms tightly around him he can’t seem to stop crying. “I love you” he chokes out, and he feels Minho tangle his fingers into his hair. Minho doesn’t say it back, but Jisung feels it all over. They don’t make it back to the reception.
Instead, Minho and Jisung call an Uber and head back to their hotel. They spend the night tangled in each other, whispering promises of their future. How pretty it is to think that all along, they were tied together by an invisible string.
#minsung#han jisung#lee know#julien do not read this#inspired by taylor swift#just fluffy fluffy minsung#i am trying to get back into writing#it is going poorly#i offer u 5.6k words about minsung's past present and future
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Chapter Thirteen
Word Count: 3,718
Trigger Warning(s): mentions of death/grief, cursing, s*xual tension, etc.
Summary: After a long road trip, Rocky and Whiskey arrive at a refuge point in Las Vegas...
******
I’ll be honest. I don’t know how long I can keep running from Balor. Sure, I’ve done it for a while now, but it still makes me anxious every time I evade him. I think that at one point, Balor is going to eventually catch us and kill us—something he could’ve done a long time ago, but he’s failed to do it over and over again. Maybe it’s my anxiety acting up again, but I just think that Balor’s gonna catch us after a little slip-up from either Whiskey, myself, or both of us.
And quite frankly, I don’t want Balor to catch us.
It’ll ruin everything Whiskey and I have fought for. We’ve busted our asses trying to stop Balor from killing everyone in his path and bringing the world to the darkest ruin imaginable. And to think that there’s a slight chance—the slightest chance anyone can think of—that Balor could ruin it all for us just worries me. Worries me to a great extent. And I just hope to God that I can muster up the strength and courage to win…because the world depends on me.
If I don’t win, then I’ll live with the most debilitating guilt known to man, and I’ll never forgive myself for it.
I kept having to think about that while Whiskey and I were traveling down the highway to our next destination. I never know where we travel next until we’re about a half-hour or an hour into the trip, but perhaps it’s a good thing. Maybe Whiskey wants to keep me from panicking so much that I completely lose my mind.
“Where we headed?” I asked in an upbeat tone of voice.
“You’ll find out in about a couple hours, sugar,” Whiskey answered.
I whined incessantly, desperately wanting an answer. “But I wanna know now!”
“Shh,” he said, pressing his finger up to my lips. “Patience, sugar. Have some patience, and I’ll tell ya in a lil’ while.”
I groaned. “Fine,” I said sharply and angrily.
I crossed my arms over my chest angrily, turning to look out the passenger side of the truck. Something about traveling down long, winding roads of the unknown just stirred my curiosity to a great extent. What on Earth could be out there that I have yet to discover? Whatever that may be, I hope that I’ll soon find it in the long run…after this war with Balor is over.
“You still mad at me?” Whiskey asked.
“Mm hmm,” I mumbled, not moving a single inch to acknowledge him. I still kept looking out the passenger side into the unknown lands.
He bit his lip, knowing that he was about to go against the boundary he previously set. Then again, he’d be happy to break that boundary because he’s keeping me happy…and that’s the best thing he could do.
“Would it make you feel better if I told ya where we’re goin’?” he asked.
I nodded. “Uh huh.”
He let out a very audible sigh, letting me know that he’s relented from his previous boundary. “Fine. I’ll only tell ya because you look so goddamn hot.”
“Hee hee,” I laughed in a cute tone.
“I’ll give you a hint. We’re going to a city known for The Strip,” he said.
Thinking he was dead serious about another thing, I started taking off my jacket, but I was extremely hesitant in doing so. I don’t know why I’m always this hesitant, but I just am. Whiskey glanced over to me quickly, and his eyes widened with horror.
“No! No, no, no, no!” he exclaimed. “Not that kind of strip.”
My bottom jaw dropped, leaving me stunned. “Oh! Oh! Oh God! I am so sorry. I thought you meant somethin’ else.”
“As much as I like to see ya strip, sugar, that’s not the kind of strip I’m talkin’ about,” he said, lightly chuckling at the hilarity of the situation. “No, it’s basically a road with a shit ton of shops, attractions, and shit.” He paused for a moment. “Wait a minute! You’ve never heard of The Strip in Las Vegas?”
I nodded. “I have. I just thought you meant something else.”
He chuckled. “It’s okay, sugar. I should’ve been more clear.”
“Agree to keep this between us?” I suggested.
“Fuck yeah!” he answered, agreeing to my suggestion. “Of course, sugar.”
We continued on our way, still laughing about the situation that went down. It was one of several times we were able to laugh something off.
That’s one of the best things about Whiskey. He doesn’t care that I’m completely unhinged and off my rocker most of the time. In fact, he embraces that. He embraces it as part of my unique—and definitely messed up—personality. Although he looks past the fact that I have flaws and trauma that I’m trying to cope with, he makes sure that he’s always there to support me through it all. He’s always been at my side through it all…
…and I don’t think he ever plans on leaving.
Sure, there’s plenty of other reasons for me loving Whiskey, and if I listed them all, I’d be here a while, and I’d get distracted away from the war on Balor. Ooh…I like that. “War on Balor”. Now, that has a nice ring to it.
But anyway, Whiskey brought me life when I didn’t think I had any left. Ever since Devin died, I thought multiple times about ending my life. Yeah, I know. Devastating. Devin was my best friend, my rock…and losing him made me lose a big part of myself. Then, Whiskey came into my life—to this day, I still don’t know how he did it—and basically restored the life I once had. He made me feel loved and acknowledged by someone other than a family member.
Whiskey was basically my angel in disguise…and I thank him every day for that.
Had he not come into my life when he did, then I probably wouldn’t be here anymore. So in short, he saved my life. He saved me from succumbing to the dark demons I’ve been battling for so long…and I thank God every day that Whiskey was able to save me, and I’ll continue to thank him every day for the rest of my life.
“How long until we’re there?” I asked.
Whiskey shrugged. “I don’t know. Um…maybe five more hours.”
My eyes widened. I didn’t think that Las Vegas was so far from Denver. I thought it’d be a shorter travel time by car. “Christ!” I exclaimed. “You’d think that the drive time would be shorter.”
“I know, sugar. I know,” he said. “I was plannin’ on pulling off on the next exit to refuel. We’re gettin’ close to empty.”
“Can we at least get snacks to tide us over ‘til we reach Vegas?” I begged. “Please.”
“You know what, sugar? I’ll get some real food,” he suggested. “In fact, if we’re goin’ to the right gas station, there might be a Chipotle close by.”
One of my eyebrows hooked upward. “I’ve never had it before.”
“Then, you’re missin’ out,” he said. “They make the greatest burrito bowls.”
“Really?” I asked.
He nodded. “Oh, hell yeah! I’ve had them a couple times back in Tennessee. They’re absolutely delicious. My tip—go with double protein. Brings more volume and deliciousness to the meal. My favorite has to be the double chicken.”
“I do like chicken,” I commented.
“Exactly,” he said. “Don’t worry, sugar. After we get off on the next exit and fuel up, I’ll take ya to a nearby Chipotle. That way, you can try it out and get some real food.”
I tried to open my mouth to suggest paying for both of our meals, but Whiskey interrupted me. “And don’t you think about paying. It’s my idea, and I’ll cover it. Gotta be able to provide for my passenger princess.”
My cheeks turned into a rosy red color. “Gee. Thanks,” I said in an almost sing-songy tone.
* * * * * *
After about a twenty-minute drive on the highway, Whiskey eventually pulled off to the exit he’d been talking about for a while. It was a good thing he found that exit, or else we would’ve been stranded in the middle of the highway because we ran out of fuel. The gas tank was just barely above the empty marker by the time Whiskey pulled the truck into a fueling station.
“Close call, I guess,” I remarked.
“Very close,” he added, pointing to a nearby location as he pumped gas into the truck. “And would you look at that, sugar?”
I looked to the place where Whiskey was pointing, and sure enough…he was right. There was a Chipotle extremely close to the gas station. In fact, it was within about a minute from where we were if we just walked.
“Oh! You were right,” I said.
He shrugged, smugly proving his point. “I’ll get you some food after this truck is refilled.”
“You sure that no one’s gonna steal the truck if we leave it here?” I questioned.
Whiskey waved it off. “First of all, I got the keys. No one will drive away with it. And second of all, I got the mace projector activated just in case anyone tries to steal it or anything inside of it.”
My eyes widened with shock. “There’s a fuckin’ mace cannon on this truck?”
He nodded. “Yep. I don’t use it often, but in bigger cities, I enable it just in case anyone tries to steal it.”
“That seems a bit excessive, but I love it for some reason,” I said. “It’s psychotic, really. But I love it. I don’t know why, but I do.”
Whiskey couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at my comment. “You’re damn lucky I love you.”
I held my hands up. “Hey. I’m just glad you can tolerate my crazy ass.”
“Oh, I’ll tolerate that crazy ass as long as I want to,” he said. “Now, come on. Let’s get you your food before you go unhinged.”
I scrunched up my face in a state of confusion. “But I’m already unhinged.”
“But we need to get you food before you become more unhinged than you already are,” Whiskey rephrased. “And don’t worry about the truck. It’ll be fine.”
I shrugged, running off after Whiskey in order to keep up with him. Damn, he has quite the pep in his step because it’s a bitch to keep up with him. Mind you, he doesn’t usually walk this fast. Maybe he’s only walking at this pace because he’s extremely hungry. I don’t know! But I do know that if I don’t get some food soon, I’ll be extremely pissed.
After a while, Whiskey and I eventually got our food, and despite my best arguments, he still paid for me. God! Such a gentleman. And did he care that I got a large lemonade to help wash all the food down my throat? Nope! Actually, he encouraged that. He wanted to make sure that I was completely satisfied. And so far…he’s doing one hell of a job.
“I have to keep you satisfied,” he said, “and don’t you dare let your mind in the gutter! I know what you’re thinkin’. Just—just don’t!”
I was giggling like a psychotic maniac before he even finished. Whiskey knows me so well. So well that any normal person would call it creepy. But Whiskey and I—we aren’t normal people. We’re secret agents for the US government who can’t tell anyone about what we do. Sure, not doing that causes me to foster a great deal of frustration, but there is some good that comes out of it.
Without me going into this field, I may have never met Whiskey.
My life might not be the same if I never got into becoming a secret agent and becoming a staple to the Statesman Agency. I may never have found the perfect love of my life. Had it not been for him, I would’ve been long gone. Gone, probably, up to heaven and joining my twin brother there…because I know damn well that he’s up there, smiling down upon me and his family. He’s immensely proud, I could tell. But it doesn’t change the fact that I cry over his non-existence here on Earth.
I can barely live without him.
That’s the thing about siblings—twin siblings, to be specific. Most days, they love each other to bits and become indefinitely attached at the hip. But some days, they hate each other’s guts and want nothing to do with one another. That’s not the case with me and Devin. Ever since birth, we’ve loved each other immensely, not spending a day apart. Not once did we even think about hating one another…and that’s one of many things that sets us apart from other sets of twins.
We loved each other more than anything in this world.
And it pains me to know that I had to say goodbye to him so soon. I fully expected to be with him for the rest of my life, and to have him be taken from me so goddamn soon is just—just heartbreaking. No one deserves to deal with that pain of feeling your heart break at the thought of your beloved sibling, and it’s not fair for me to have to suffer that! It’s not fucking fair!
We were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives, and now…
…Now, we’re not.
Before I could continue grieving for Devin’s death, Whiskey got into the truck after me and drove off. But he didn’t just drive off. He zipped out of there faster than a cheetah on crack, which jolted me out of my mournful daze I was in.
“Christ! What the hell, Whiskey?” I shouted. “Why the rush?”
Apparently, my shock and disbelief didn’t phase him. Not one bit. “The faster we dip outta here, the farther away we get from Balor and his group of moronic jackasses.”
“So you’re sayin’ that Balor and his goons are close?”
“Possibly,” Whiskey answered. “I have a gut feelin’ ‘bout it.”
My worries, which were once buried deep in my soul, rose up rapidly into my throat once again. Now, there’s a good—really good—chance that Balor might catch up to us and kill us. I don’t want that! If that happens, he gets what he wants. And if Balor gets what he wants, then…the world is dead. Gone and dead.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me that sooner?” I asked angrily after swallowing down a bite from my burrito bowl.
He shrugged without a thought of worry circling through his mind. “I didn’t want you to worry. Plus, they’re not even forty-five minutes away. Yes, it’s close, but it’s enough time for us to get the hell outta here in case they’re ahead of schedule.”
“Good thinkin’, at least,” I remarked.
“Hey. Gotta have a sensible mind,” he said. “Otherwise, who knows what kind of hell will freeze over.”
I sighed, accepting the fact that we hadn’t been captured yet. Whiskey was right. I have to keep a sensible mind throughout this war against Balor. Otherwise, he could use it to his advantage and bring the world to ruin. I can’t let that happen. I just can’t! Not when I’m facing one of the most dangerous motherfuckers anyone ever knows. If anybody decides to stay out of his way, then Balor is gonna run rampant across the world.
I can’t let him do that. Not when I know I can do something about it.
* * * * * *
“Sugar, wake up,” Whiskey’s voice echoed. “We’ve arrived at our destination.”
I groggily woke up from what turned out to be a four-hour nap in the passenger seat. When I woke up, that’s when I saw it. The bright, extremely illustrious wonders of Las Vegas, Nevada. I hadn’t seen such lights and beauty in a very long time, and it was something that definitely brightened my mood. It made me think that there was something beautiful waiting for me once this war was over…
…and I hope that this war ends soon so all this beauty doesn’t get ruined.
Carefully, Whiskey drove through The Strip, allowing the both of us to check out a glimpse of what Las Vegas had to offer. So far, it seems like a lot of glamorous and expensive shit. Shit that’s more expensive than the hospital bill from when me and my twin brother were born. Damn, that was a lot of money.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
He glanced over to me and gave me such a mischievous smirk. So mischievous that it looked quite evident that he was up to something. “Somewhere extremely expensive,” he said.
My head whipped around to face him, my eyes wide open like an ajar door. “What the hell did you do?”
“I may or may not have booked us a suite at the Venetian Hotel & Casino,” he answered, dragging out the revelation.
“The hell!” I exclaimed. “How were you able to afford that?”
He shrugged. “Sugar, I’ve been working my ass off at the agency for a long time, and I get paid quite a lot.”
“Bonuses and raises, too?” I asked incredulously.
He nodded. “Yep. That’s exactly it.”
So I left it at that, not wanting to dive too crazy into how Whiskey manages to afford all this expensive shit. He has his reasons, and I accept that. I’m not going to ridicule him just because he won’t tell me about his finances and the methods going about such. I’m not that kind of bitch. I’m much more than that.
“Don’t get too antsy, sugar,” Whiskey advised. “There’s more waiting for us when we get to our suite.”
“There’s more?” I asked breathlessly.
He nodded. “Yep.”
“Well, what’s there?” I asked, wanting to know immediately.
A smirk slowly appeared across Whiskey’s face, his dimples becoming more evident with each passing moment. “You’ll see,” he responded with a hint of mischief.
I groaned with desperation. “Fine,” I grunted, firmly folding my arms across my chest. “If you say so.”
Apparently, my moping worked very well because it helped pass the time in order to get to the hotel. Before long, Whiskey had pulled into a parking spot located in one of the hotel’s small parking garages. We didn’t trust anyone to take the truck and park it—understandably so—so we just handled parking ourselves. Who knows what could happen if we trust a complete stranger to park the truck.
Whiskey held the door open for me as soon as we arrived inside the hotel. And oh my God! It was absolutely stunning! The beautiful, intricate architecture and the amazing bright and gold colors made it feel like Whiskey and I had just set foot in a grand palace. It was like we had died and gone to heaven. It was just that grand and wondrous.
When we had made it to the front desk, Whiskey had taken over from there, successfully checking the both of us in without any hassle. I was definitely surprised no one had noticed who I was like they’ve done in Cleveland. It seemed like almost everywhere I went, someone somehow knew either me or one of my family members.
As soon as we got through the door and into our suite, my shock appeared across my face in the form of a dropped jaw. I was stunned that such a suite could be so fancy and high-end. “Damn!” I exclaimed loudly.
After gaining back his senses, Whiskey had snapped back into reality after I scared him. “I assume you like what you see,” he guessed.
I nodded. “Mm hmm.”
“Well, we mustn’t ponder in doorways, sugar. Go check the place out,” he said.
And of course, I took Whiskey up on his suggestion and started to explore the suite we’ll be staying in for the time being. How could such a place be so grand and yet look so—modern? You would think that the bright colors of gold that overtook the lobby would carry over to the suites. Well, apparently not! In this suite, there were monochromatic colors of various grays and blacks, as well as the offsetting browns and various types of reds. It was like living the rich aristocrat’s life.
“Any other surprises I should know about other than this?” I ask in a teasing tone.
His head slowly swiveled over toward my direction, and an evil smirk spread wide across his face. “Oh, there’s plenty more in store,” he sneered.
My eyebrows scrunched, and I bit the inside of my lip. From the right angle, it looked like I wore my best expression of a resting bitch face. A killer one, to be sure. “Don’t tell me you’re thinkin’ ‘bout fucking me in Vegas,” I said relatively sternly, but meaning no ill will with it.
His lips pursed, and he was constantly feeling his fingers and knuckles. Whiskey definitely had something in mind, and I was determined to find out what that was.
“Well—yeah,” he said, drawing out his response for a decently long time. “I kinda figured.” His voice soon carried a panicky tone. “Unless, you don’t wanna. Then, I perfectly understa—”
“Whiskey! It’s fine,” I reassured. “I was just fuckin’ with ya. You know I’m not one to turn down the opportunity for a good time with you.”
“Oh, I know,” he answered. “I’ve known and loved you for two goddamn years, and I can confidently say that I know every little thing about you. Even the things you don’t think you know about yourself.”
My eyes widened with shock and realization. “I’d say that’s creepy, but I won’t because you’re my boyfriend, and I love you.”
His lips puckered up, while his eyes softened with a sense of care for me. He placed a soft kiss on my forehead, his forehead colliding with mine in a moment of tranquility and pure romance away from the chaos. Whiskey chuckled and smiled, his pure and utmost loving thoughts of me circling endlessly through his head. Even through our moment of silence and connection, I could still sense his love for me…
…and it was stronger than ever before.
I can only hope that his love stays this strong for the rest of my life. My god forsaken life…because I wouldn’t know what to do without him.
#creative writing#pedro pascal fanfiction#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#fanfiction#pedro pascal#agent whiskey
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a reflection of artistic pursuits #1 - 27/04/23
I’ve been meaning to talk about all the art I’ve been doing in uni for a while now, so now I’m going to do it in a big post, and hopefully this won’t be the only one!
I’ve been very fortunate to get to work with a variety of mediums since coming back to do my Masters, and even if I don’t use some of these methods in my project, I definitely don’t want to stop using them full-stop!
Back in February, we had a bookbinding workshop, in which we all made ourselves a concertina-styled book. I feel like I’ll be repeating myself quite often, but it was very fun to try something I hadn’t done before!
I still have the book empty, and I have a bit of a fear of doing anything with it, as I’m not entirely sure what I want to fill it with yet! The only slightly off-putting thing was how bad the glue smelled, really stank up the living room.
The following week we were all inducted into the EPC (I think they’ve changed the name - but I can’t remember what it is) - having a look at woodworking and 3D printing. I had a go at using SketchUp with the 3D printers. I used them to make a couple of storyboarding templates. The first one turned out quite big, and I mainly use it for larger illustration thumbnails. But the smaller ones have been pretty good!
I think I’d like to try SketchUp again, and hopefully give them a lid of sorts? To try and make it easier to hold, because they can be a bit slippery.
We also got to visit Ankle Deep Studios at Portsmouth’s Historic Dockyard to do some lino prints, which overall was a fantastic trip! I’ve never actually been down to the dockyards before, so while we couldn’t go into any of the actual buildings, just walking around was very insightful.
I used some of the emblems I saw around the dockyards as inspiration for my lino cut, and also the podcast The Magnus Archives, as at the time I was still extremely obsessed with it.
I really liked my final result, and think I did quite well to make it look like an emblem, while also incorporating elements from the show, such as the eyes and the panopticon in the middle. While I could’ve cut the logo more, I do like the fact that we still have texture from the shallower cuts in the final prints. Again, just doing something I hadn’t before was really really fun. I love the tactile feeling of printing and things like lino, and wish I’d done it before!
I really do like the final results, and I think I may actually use lino again for a side piece for my major project. I’ve wanted to design logo/insignias for some of the organisations in TSTSU, and I think this would be a fun way to make it more physical!
Another new artistic method was riso printing, again during one of our timetabled days. Riso had always confused me a little bit, but Ceri did a fantastic job of explaining everything to us, and making the overall experience super enjoyable.
I once again used a podcast as my inspiration, but this time I chose the Lovecraftian horror podcast ‘Malevolent’ by Harlan Guthrie. I found the idea of layering things quite interesting and different, and I was also happy with the results of these!
While I could've lined up the right print a bit better, I think what I mostly wanted to achieve worked, and was definitely pleased with how the print on the left turned out. I definitely want to try riso a bit more before I have to leave the university!
While they’re quite small in the picture above, we also had a small go at badge making, with the badge press in the Illustration studio. I’m a sucker for things like stickers and badges, so I’ll definitely be coming back to make badges of my characters, or just anything really!
This was a bit of a long one, and definitely won’t be the last I do with these methods, but I’m glad to have finally put it all together for my blog!
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@lcveblossomed
“That has to be difficult. I mean… I’ve never been much of a planner myself but I know it has to be hard to have no idea. I hope you can figure it out.” Eddie says as he looks over at Gecko. He wants to help he wants to be there for Gecko to do whatever he can because Gecko deserves that. Why did all of this have to happen when it did? Why couldn’t he have waited he could’ve been there for Gecko. After everything they’d been through all that Gecko had done to support him it was the least Eddie could do but of course it was all fucked. The timing it was all just so messed up and Eddie didn’t know how to fix it.
He looks down at his stomach too then back at Gecko. “Even if we’re not together I still love you I still care… I’m gonna worry about you even if there is a kid in there.” He says, making a general motion to his middle. It was true he loved Gecko so much he wanted to help him to be there for him in whatever capacity he could. He wasn’t sure what that was but he was going to try whatever he could to help Gecko.
There’s a few moments of hesitation and Eddie fidgets with one of Gecko’s rings, he’d put them back on after they’d parted ways. He felt some comfort from it taking in a breath he looks back at Gecko again. “Come with me. I mean a couple of months in a bigger city we can split rent on some shitty little apartment. It’s Indianapolis there’s a better scene you could spend a couple months just focused on a job at a record store or something. I mean worst case scenario you still don’t know what you want to do when you’re done. You’ll have money saved up though you can I dunno buy yourself more time to figure shit out. Just… just let the world not be on your shoulders for once, Geck. You deserve that after all this time.”
I still love you. I still care. The words seemed so contradictory in the grand scheme of things. Mostly because Eddie was pregnant and it wasn’t his. It should’ve been his. Life had tossed a good dose of fuck yous in Gecko’s direction for no apparent reason, but this still hit the hardest. Perhaps it’s only because it’s fresh. He’d been pretty good at accepting the shit life had thrown at him until he’d gotten a taste of something good -- something special. Now he craved it so bad, for things to feel okay after so long of not being as much. He feels a pang in his chest when Eddie’s suggestion comes.
“I want to. I-” He didn’t think Eddie would ask. In tandem, he doesn’t want a pity party either. He’s gone this long sustaining himself. He’d figure it out with or without Eddie’s suggestion. He was doubtful that he was even written in his mother’s will and if he was, he was sure she likely hadn’t left a penny to his name. How long would it be before someone came to sell the house and kick him out? He didn’t have a time frame. Life tossed shit at him at a rate he couldn’t calculate. It just ... fucking happened.
“You don’t have to offer this to me.” Gecko finally said, “You don’t have to suggest this if you just ... feel bad for me. I’ve had to deal with shitty things all my life and I survived them.” And worse come to worse, he knew Monica would let him sleep on her couch for awhile. Despite everything, she also still cared about him, but it felt different than Eddie. It always was.
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