#supposed to be a doodle but welp I get carried away | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

is0gild · 4 years ago

Text

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 8

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 6,473

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

It was dawning on me that I hadn’t fully thought this through.

This whole “having friends” thing.

There were so many factors I hadn’t even considered. Like, once you’ve made a new friend…

...what the frick are you supposed to do with them?

One would think I’d have this figured out by now. After all, I was friends with Rayne, wasn’t I? But Rayne was different. There hadn’t really been much to think about there, we’d just sorta clicked. Besides, we’d met when we were children - a time when the hot topics to talk about had been our favorite toys to play with or which of the boys had cooties or our latest masterpieces made during Arts and Crafts time involving gluing popsicle sticks and sequins to pine cones. You know, kid stuff.

But now I was an adult. An adult who had just made new adult friends who probably expected adult conversations.

And unfortunately I just didn’t think cooties and sequins were going to cut it anymore.

Which is why I could now be found on this fine Friday afternoon shift at the Ice Palace having borrowed Kristoff’s phone, making use of the current lull in customer traffic to carry out some important research. And how, one might wonder, was this important research being gathered?

By googling the phrase “how to friendship.”

Genius, I know.

Thousands of articles and tutorials had come back in the search results, not all of them useful, but I’d landed on a couple that could maybe help a little bit. I gnawed on my lower lip as my eyes quickly scanned over the words. Then with a nod, I used a pen to transcribe the cliff notes version over to my palm, adding on to the ever growing list of useful tidbits that could now be found there.

Call it my Chit-Chat Cheat Sheet. That’s right, folks, you’re witnessing a crucial life hack in the making. This handy-dandy little list was going to be my one-stop shop to social butterfly success. Look out, new pals of mine, you were about to be friended so hard. I was going to friend your butts off! This was-

“Hey, I also like to doodle on my hand whenever I’m bored outta m-”

With a half gasp, half yelp, I jolted up straight, wide eyes discovering Lea now standing on the other side of the counter from me. He brought up his hands, “Woah now, sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you.”

My own hand flew up to cover my pounding heart as I breathed out and shook my head. “No. No, it’s fine, I should’ve been paying more-” My fingers flexed, closing around empty air. My brow furrowed. “Wait…” Where did my-? Did I drop it? “...I had a pen.”

It suddenly blurred down from up above to crash land into the countertop, making us both flinch and jerk back slightly.

Oh. Heh. There it was.

“Sorry about that,” I gave a weak laugh, retrieving the writing implement and giving it a little waggle as I held it up. “I… guess I still got a few kinks to work out before I can successfully launch the first unmanned pencraft into orbit.”

...wow, did that stupid joke really just come out of me?

Must. Resist. Urge. To. Wince.

The corners of his eyes crinkled. “Might I suggest waiting for a day when the weather forecast reports zero chance of ceiling?” he pointed up.

I nodded, “Good note. Excellent observation. Prime example of one of my kinks.” I blanched, then hastily stammered, “I mean the… one of the kinks that, uh, needs to be, er… worked... out.”

Ugh, what’s wrong with me? Why am I like this?

This is why I needed the list.

...crud! The list! My eyes darted to my palm where it was scrawled in plain view for all the world to bear witness. Then my gaze flicked to Lea, looking at me with an eyebrow cocked and one side of his lips turned up. Then I balled my fist and jammed it behind my back.

Had he seen?

He mustn’t know about my secret hacks!

That’s when I spotted it. Kristoff’s phone. Still on the counter between us. Still open to the WikiHow I’d been taking notes from. My other hand shot out and swatted the device away, sending it slamming into the wall on my right before clattering to the ground.

Oopsie. Sorry Kristoff!

Luckily he was currently out and about taking his ten. He’d never have to know. This could just be our little secret between the phone and me.

“Shit, what’d that poor thing ever do to you?”

...rather, between the phone, me, and Lea.

What had it done to me, he asks? It’d tried to rat me out, that’s what!

My eyes darted to one side. “...let’s just say the crime fits the punishment.”

Snitches get stitches.

He glanced to where the abused phone still lay abandoned on the tiled floor, then snorted and crossed his arms with a shake of his head, “If you say so.”

Alright, so this exchange so far? Could be going better. Not exactly textbook. Lot of room for improvement. But that was okay because (ba-dum ba-dum!) Chit-Chat Cheat Sheet to the rescue! It could salvage any social catastrophe! Let’s just watch it work its magic, shall we?

I shifted to bring my hand out in front of me once more, casually resting my palm face down against the countertop. Then I lifted it just barely enough to furtively peek at the first couple lines I’d written there.

Start with a warm, friendly greeting. Examples include…

I locked eyes with him. “Whassup.”

He blinked. “Um… hi?”

Nailed it.

Alright, now that a proper line of communication had officially been established in the most cordial manner, on to the next step: small talk. After sneaking another quick look at my notes, I pressed my hand back down again and recited the words I’d just glanced at, “So nice weather we’re having, huh? At least it’s not raining like last week.”

This list was a god send. Pure gold.

He squinted upward, scratching the back of his head. “Hasn’t it been sunny for months now?”

...fudge.

Abort, captain, abort! The first one was a dud! Quickly, lock and load the second one and fire!

I anxiously checked my palm again and latched onto the next line, reading out, “That’s an awesome shirt you’re wearing!”

He frowned down at it, eyebrows knitting together. “You mean my work polo? Not… really, but okay.”

Aaaaaaaand another swing and a miss!

Oh wise and powerful Chit-Chat Cheatsheet, why hast thou forsaken me here, now, in my greatest hour of need? Me, your most devout and faithful of followers? Me, who loved and worshipped you so?

Feeling my panic spiking, I looked to my hand again to find one more line I had yet to try. One final chance for salvation. This was it. My ace in the hole. List, don’t fail me now!

Desperate, I didn’t even register the words as my eyes snatched them from my palm, handed them off to my brain that then shoved them down the pipeline to my mouth which proceeded to blurt out verbatim, “So what do you do in your flamingo?”

...the list had failed me.

“I’m sorry, what does who do in the what and where now?”

And we’re talking like… epic failure.

I was just now realizing this was the one I’d been in the middle of jotting down when Lea had startled me. So chances were good that that sloppy mess of a scribble at the end of the sentence? Wasn’t actually the word flamingo.

At least, I hoped it wasn’t.

Whatever. I give up.

Puffing out a sigh as I pinched the bridge of my nose, I muttered, “You know what, forget it. I’m just… having a bit of a malfunction. One of those days, I guess.”

“Oh,” he chuckled, “no worries! Those come up all the time working customer service, so I totally get it.”

This guy was too nice. Here I was, spouting off nonsense like a gibbering baboon and he was just brushing it off like it was no big deal. Like it was an everyday occurrence for a person to ask him if he did lord only knows what to a neon pink bird. I should get on with assisting him with whatever he’d come over here for. It was the least I could do in exchange for him putting up with the trainwreck that was me. Taking a deep breath and putting on a smile, I asked, “So what can I help you with today?”

He returned the smile, “Take a wild guess.”

I glanced around my work space. “Ice cream?”

“Got it in one,” his thumb went up. “I’m a total addict by the way, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me.”

“I’m sure your dentist says the same thing,” I deadpanned, pressing my finger to a button on the cash register. “Sea Salt, right?”

“You’re on a roll today!”

My grin twitched wider. He was so much better at this small talk thing than me. “How would you like it?”

“I like my ice cream like I like my women: swirly and in a waffle cone,” he winked, tossing out some finger guns.

...I take that back, this dork was just as clueless as I was. Had to be if he thought that was funny.

I merely arched an eyebrow at him as the silence stretched. Then he pouted, “Aw c’mon, kid, these are the jokes! Don’t leave me hanging here.”

I snorted, tapping a couple more keys on the register. “Sorry. It’s just that after the other day, I would have thought your answer would’ve been more along the lines of ‘frozen solid and on a stick.’”

“Oo, dirty,” he chirped, his eyebrows bouncing.

Welp. That’d teach me for trying to play along.

“But no,” he waved off, “that was more out of necessity. Only the ice cream bars can survive the long trip up the clocktower without melting first. Otherwise, give me creamy, fluffy, and with a twist any day!”

“Duly noted. Just a sec.” I turned, plucking one of the cones off the top of the stack as I walked past, approaching the soft serve/milkshake machine.

Ah, my old nemesis. We meet again. One could almost hear the Old West face-off tune whistling in the background. But thankfully, there would be no drawing of pistols this day.

I liked to think there was a grudging, mutual respect between us now.

Being super mindful of the Anger Button, I switched it to the appropriate flavor and pulled down on the lever. As I moved the cone in small circles while it slowly filled with blue, sugary goop, I heard Lea ask, “Snow Bear?”

I looked back at him, a crease forming between my eyebrows as I tipped my head to one side.

...what’d he just call me?

He was hunched forward now, elbow on the countertop and chin propped in hand, fingers drumming against his cheek as he squinted at me with a frown. Then shook his head, “Nah, too healthy, even for a goody-goody like you. Tofu has no business being anywhere near ice cream.”

Then it clicked. Snow Bear was one of the flavors we offered.

“Big Bad Pete?” he pursed his lips to one side, then crinkled his nose. “Nope. Too nutty. Thinking you like a crunch, just not that kind.”

I returned my attention to the machine, making sure the cone wasn’t too top heavy. “Are you… trying to guess the type of ice cream I like?”

“Yup! Since Sea Salt clearly wasn’t your thing.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that.” I released the lever, completing the stacking spiral with a nice little curl at the top and turning to face him once more. “But it is… shall we say, an acquired taste?”

Lea smirked and scoffed, “Blasphemy! Don’t worry though, I won’t judge you too harshly for your dirty, heathen tastes.”

“You’re too kind,” I rolled my eyes as I handed him his purchase.

Taking it in one hand, he used the other to give me the munny due. “Consider it my one good deed for the century. It’s a doozy though. I’m expecting my sainthood any day now.” He then lapped off a big blue chunk as he eyed me thoughtfully. “Donald Fizz maybe?” Then he pulled a face with another shake of his head, “Nu uh, too close to Sea Salt.”

“If you really want to know that badly, it’s-”

“Buh buh buh,” he pressed a finger to my lips, cutting me off. “Yeesh, don’t spoil my fun like that, let me guess! This is like my mutant power, I can always tell a person’s fave ice cream.” He narrowed his eyes on me as he took another bite, licking some of it off from the corner of his mouth. “You’re a tough read though. Gonna need more time, gather more intel.” A grin broke out again, “But I do oh so love a challenge.” Then he snapped his fingers, “What about-”

“Elsa?!”

My blood ran cold at the voice that cried out from across the food court.

A very, very familiar voice.

One I had not expected to hear again for a while yet and certainly not here, at the Dusk Town Center mall, at my sanctuary of all places.

Lea glanced over his shoulder, looking for who’d interrupted him before yelping and leaping out of the way so as not to become roadkill to an auburn and blue blur zooming straight for me. It crashed up against the other side of the counter, lashed its limbs out over the top and seized me in its vice-like grip, yanking me forward into a bone-crushing embrace and squeezing the absolute life out of me as it once more shouted, “Elsa! I found you! At last, I found you!”

Or rather… not it, but her.

Anna Fryse.

My sister.

...who, as I was just now discovering, might also be part boa constrictor. Good lord, this girl did not know her own strength!

“Anna,” I wheezed, feebly patting at her elbow. An extraordinary feat, given that her bear hug was practically super gluing my arms to my sides. “Can’t. Breathe.”

“You’re okay! I was so worried! I thought you might be hurt or trapped or drugged or kidnapped or amnesiad or dead or, or, or- but you’re not! You’re really, really not! You’re alive!”

“Won’t be for much longer if you don’t let go,” I croaked out, starting to see spots. Finally she released me and I gasped for breath. Ah, oxygen. Beautiful, life giving oxygen. I coughed, “Did you seriously just use ‘amnesia’ as a verb?”

Completely ignoring my question, her hands still grasped tightly at my shoulders as sharp, blue eyes set in a freckled face looked me over. Her red hair was done in pigtail braids and she was in a dark cobalt sundress with a black bodice.

Then she opened her mouth.

“Woah, Elsa! You look different! It’s a good different! I love everything about it!” She grabbed me by the cheeks, “Your face, the outfit, that hat - oh gosh, that hat! I never thought I’d see you in a friggin’ baseball cap! It’s too friggin’ cute! And a ponytail! How many times have I said you’d look totes adorbs in a ponytail, and you know what? Told you so! And- oh. My. Gawd!” She bellyflopped onto the countertop, pointing down, “I just saw the mini skirt! Friggin’ you! In a friggin’ mini skirt! Damn girl, you hawt!” She fell back onto her feet once more, looking up at our sign, “And this place! What is this place? This place is amazing! Do you work here? Please, please, please tell me you work here! Oh my gawd, you do! You have a friggin’ job! What do you do? How much do you make? Do you pay taxes? Do you pay rent? Do you have a 401k? What is a 401k?” She pointed at an ice cream spade, “What’s this thingie do?” Next at the soft serve/milkshake machine, “How does that work?” Up at a dangling Sven plushie. “What’s up with all the friggin’ deers?” Then at Lea standing off to one side, slowly eating his ice cream and watching on with one curious eyebrow quirked. “Who’s the hottie with a body?” She started to wave, calling out, “Hello, Mr Hottie-With-A-Bo-”

“Anna!” I hissed, cheeks roasting as I snatched her hand back down. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Lea returning her wave with a tiny one of his own, to which I shot him a dull stare. He just grinned and shrugged. Shaking my head, I asked him, “Could you, uh… would you mind giving us a minute alone? Please?”

“Sure, no problem. I should be getting back to work anyhow. Laters, El!”

...El? Who’s El?

“Nice meeting ya, El’s friend!” he gave a two finger salute to Anna with a wink before sauntering off.

Huh. Guess that’d make me El. I’d earned a nickname. Had our friendship leveled up? Wow, I was so good at this friends thing! Without even understanding it, I had somehow already mastered it.

Bravo, me!

Anna watched him go, then turned back to me with a low whistle. “Okay, seriously, who was the sexpot and please, for the love that is all that is good and foxy, tell me you are tapping that.”

“Oh my god, Anna!” I facepalmed. I wasn’t going to dignify that with a response. “What are you even doing here?”

“I told you already, I was worried!”

My forehead wrinkled. “But you knew I wasn’t abducted or anything, you were the one who helped me run away. Besides, didn’t you receive my text telling you I was okay?”

“Yes, weeks after you disappeared!” She smacked me in the arm with a glare. “You could have contacted me sooner, brat! And what the frick was up with your stupid text?!”

“Stupid...? What was wrong with it?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry, don’t come looking for me,” she flatly recited the words from my message before looking away with a huff. “Please, have you never seen any kidnap movie in the history of like friggin’ ever? That’s like classic code for ‘help me, help me, I’ve been taken hostage and am being forced to tell you these things under duress.’”

“Ugh, the way your mind works,” I grumbled, massaging one temple. “How did you even find me anyway?”

Anna snorted. “What, you think just cuz you blocked my number that I wouldn’t be able to track you down? Sis, please, we live in the golden age of technology. Trust me, I have my ways. There’s a lot a girl can do with just a phone number and this little thing called the internet.”

I opened my mouth to retort, but then froze with a gasp as another thought struck me and nearly stopped my heart. My eyes darted about, searching the food court while I fidgeted with my fingers. “Wait… oh god, does… do Mother and Father… do they know? Are they also here? Did you tell-”

She gently shushed me, reaching over the countertop to rub my arm. “Sis, Sis, it’s okay, they’re not here, don’t stress! I did tell them I got the text from you so they’d know you’re okay, but I didn’t tell them I’d figured out where you were. They don’t know that I came here looking for you. You don’t have to talk to them until you’re ready.”

“Oh thank god,” I sighed, slumping against the counter. That… was a talk I was in no way prepared for. Not just yet. I gnawed on my lower lip for a second, glancing back up at Anna. “What about-”

“He’s fine too,” she said softly.

I frowned. “...really?”

Her face pinched into a tiny grimace. “I mean, he’s not great. He got dumped at the altar, what do you think? But he’s a big boy, he’ll survive.”

Well that was a load off my mind.

Not.

“Ugh, I feel terrible,” I buried my face in my hands. Then I peeked out between my fingers at her. “Could you… I don’t know… maybe do damage control with him for me or something?”

“Was already on it,” she beamed with a thumbs up. “But enough about all that, gah, so friggin’ depressing! I wanna hear more about you and your new life and this whole job thing and that redheaded Hunky McHunkface and all that’s happened to you since you flew the coop! Tell me everything!”

A tiny smile crept up onto my lips. I knew I’d been missing my little sister, but it was only in that moment... seeing her here in front of me, hearing her voice again... that I was realizing just how much. “I’d actually really like that. But uh…” I looked past her, noticing more shoppers wondering about amongst those tables out there now than there had been just moments ago, with even more trickling in by the second. “Looks like we’re about to get our afternoon rush, so it’s not really the best time.”

Anna tapped her chin with a low hum before her face lit back up. “Are you free tonight?”

My head tilted to the left. “I’m working closing, but I should be out of here by nine I think.”

“Perfect! Let’s do dinner! Then we can properly celebrate your new found freedom as you tell me all about it! Whaddya say? Pleeeeease?” Puppy dog eyes initiated.

I laughed and nodded. “Yeah, okay. That sounds nice.”

“Yay!” she bounced on her heels, rapidly clapping her hands together with a tiny squeal. “Ahhhh! Can’t wait! Okay, you said nine, right? Right! I’ll be waiting in my car right outside those doors over there, got it? Good! I’ll leave you to it then!” Then she was snatching me into another hug over the countertop and planting a kiss on my cheek with a loud mwah! “Love ya, Sis! See you then!”

And just like that, Typhoon Anna whooshed off once again, disappearing into the ever growing crowd.

Not a second later, I heard the door open behind me. “Hey, I’m back, sorry it ran a little long, I- hey, why’s my phone on the floor?”

I winced.

Heh… woops.

One tiny detail may have slipped my mind in all the mayhem that had been the last ten minutes.

I turned to see Kristoff stooping down to pick it up before he graced me with a scowl. I chuckled sheepishly, “So… funny story…”

I got the feeling Kristoff hadn’t found my story all that amusing.

Don’t think he’d found it particularly believable either.

Not sure why. I mean, wasn’t it totally plausible that a strong gust of wind had blasted through the entire mall, causing one of the bigger reindeer dolls to fly off its hook and rocket straight into my hands, knocking his phone free from my grasp and sending it slamming into a wall where I had then left it for fear that moving it could cause more damage and trauma to the poor little device that had already been through so much?

No? Not plausible? Not even remotely or in the slightest?

Drat.

I'd never really been good at the whole lying thing.

But it'd been the best I could come up with on the spot. I mean, I wasn’t about to tell him the truth about how I was a total, pathetic dunce when it came to making friends which in turn caused me to do idiotic things like fling other’s people’s fragile property at hard surfaces.

In any case, Kristoff and I were currently not on speaking terms.

At least, I’m pretty sure we weren’t. That was my best guess anyway, given he hadn’t spoken two words to me since I’d spun my little tale.

Eh, he’d get over it.

A couple hours of the silent treatment later and he’d clocked out without so much as a goodbye. Then a few more hours brought me to the here and now of closing time. I was almost done wrapping everything up, just needed to finish wiping down all the surfaces. Having already ensured the inside of the little shop was pristine, I’d stepped out to be on the food court side of the counter, using a cloth to remove any fingerprints and other smudges that’d been left by customers on the display glass.

As I finished cleaning the last of it, I exhaled heavily and straightened up, planting my hands on my hips as I inspected my work. Nodding in approval at a job well done, I then looked to the clock on the wall to see that it was a quarter to nine. Perfect. Plenty of time to grab my things and lock up before heading out to meet Anna. Stretching my back to loosen some of the stiffness that had settled in there, I then took a quick glance over my shoulder.

It really should come as a shock to no one at this point that Lea could once again be spotted across the way from me. I was beginning to think the people in charge of scheduling our shifts met up for weekly tea and crumpets or something while they made sure the hours the two of us worked almost always lined up exactly. What nefarious scheme was being cooked up by the upper management of our two separate companies? What could they possibly hope to gain by it? Only time would tell.

In any case, he too looked to be almost done with all of his closing tasks. He was currently out in the food court area as well, using a broom to sweep up the area in front of Pizza Planet. Or so I’m sure the intent had been.

Except... he wasn’t really so much in front of the pizzeria as he was on top of one of the tables.

And it wasn’t so much a broom as it was an impromptu mic.

And he wasn’t so much sweeping as he was in his own little world, enthusiastically lip-syncing and dancing away to the song blasting out of his phone in the back pocket of his pants. I Believe In A Thing Called Love by the Darkness, if the wild electric guitar, high falsetto vocals, and cheesy lyrics were anything to go off of.

Wow, he really was a complete dork.

A splutter of a laugh burst out of me before I was able to clamp both my hands over my mouth in a vain effort to stop it.

I’m not sure how he heard me over all that explosive glam rock, but it seemed he did somehow for his head suddenly jerked in my direction. Then he beamed and started hopping across all the tabletops towards me. That couldn’t be sanitary. His feet at last touched ground in front of the Ice Palace as he crouched low before springing back up into a half-turn, landing himself in a seat atop the counter right between the ice cream display case and a cash register.

Still directing that ear-to-ear smile my way, he pulled his phone out long enough to hit pause on his music. “So whadja think? Do I put on one hell of a show or what?”

Oh dear. Not only a dork but no shame to boot. A deadly combo, that.

I snorted, eyes on the glass once more as I went back to scrubbing it for the now nonexistent spots. “For sure. You should hurry up and get on becoming a bigtime rock star already.”

Broom balanced on the floor between his knees, he folded his hands over the handle point and rested his chin on his knuckles. “Nah, all that fame and fortune I’m guaranteed to get cuz I’m so loveable, awesome, amazing and cool would go straight to my head.”

I bit back a grin. “Because you’re so modest now.”

“Oh yeah, I’m humble as fuck!” he declared brightly. Then he shrugged and sighed, “Guess I’m just kinda perfection that way.”

My eyelids drooped. “...clearly.”

“So,” he lifted his head off its perch, freeing up one hand to scratch behind his ear, “everything okay? Between you and your sister, I mean.”

I looked at him, blinking a couple times. “How’d you know she‘s my sister?”

“You two got the same nose,” he smirked, tapping a finger to the side of his. “But seriously, you all good? She seemed pretty frantic.”

“Oh, that’s just Anna for you. The Looney Toons Tasmanian Devil personified. Pretty sure she doesn’t even know the meaning of the word ‘calm.’ But no, she’s fine. We’re good.”

“Glad to hear it!” A pause. “So…” he said again, this time stretching the word out as he bounced the broom handle back and forth between his palms now. “...you eat, right?”

Hand still absently running the cloth along the glass, I raised an eyebrow at him. What kind of question was that? “...I have been known to on occasion, yes.”

“Good. Any dinner plans tonight?”

I froze, eyes round.

Oh.

...was he asking what I think he was asking? I think he was asking what I think he was asking. Why would he ask that?! Wait... oh no… did he think that I was thinking that he should ask what I think he was asking? Because if that’s what he thought I was thinking, I most certainly was not thinking that! Not even close! Unless… did this here right now count as me thinking that?

...hold up, now I’m confused... what was I thinking again?

Oh that’s right.

I was thinking about him.

Asking.

Me.

Out.

Which I was so not ready for! I mean come on, I had just gotten out of a long term relationship! What was that rule? The one about how long after a breakup before you should start dating again? Something about waiting at least thirty minutes before getting back in the -

Wait no, that had to do with eating and pools…

Whatever, gah! However much time it’s supposed to be, pretty sure it’s more than just a few weeks if you’d not only been together for years, but also frigging engaged to your ex!

Current relationship status aside, let’s just be real here... I’m not sure if this was something I would ever be ready for. Hello, Mayor of Hermit Island here! They throw hermit parades in my honor. Those parades have zero spectators and consist of one (1) person marching, that person being me, all alone, by myself, because it’s Hermit Island and kind of the whole point! It was sort of a miracle I’d ever started dating in the first place, much less wound up with a fiancé of all things! When you think about it, and I mean really think about it… how the frick had that even happened?! I’d been there, heck, I’d lived it and even I was still scratching my head over that one. I mean, how had I ever-

“Hey now, what’s with the-?” Lea’s words broke me out of the word jumble that was my brain and my eyes darted over to him. His furrowed brow suddenly went slack and he blinked, heading rocking back. “Hold on, you don’t think that I- That I’m asking you out on a- No! God no! No, no, no, that’s not what this is!”

Oh thank goodness!

Wait… how did he know that’s what I’d been thinking?

...could it be the fact that all the color had drained from my face and I had stopped breathing?

Speaking of which, I should really start that back up again.

Okay, all together now, one, two, three annnnnd sharp, deep inhale.

Whew, much better! Man, oxygen and I were having a real on-again, off-again relationship today.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with y- I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to- that is, uh… aw, crap,” he groaned, bonking his head against the top of the broom handle. “Forget it. Look, what I was trying to say was we - that is, the kiddos and I and a buncha other people who work at other stores 'round the mall, all of us get together every Friday night for food and drinks at the 7th Heaven. It’s this nice little pub not too far from here and I dunno if booze is your thing or what, but the grub’s pretty good there too, way better than your average bar food and so I was just wondering if you’d like to, I dunno… come join us and just hang out for a bit, have some fun. Interested?”

Ooooooooooh, got it! Well that was a relief!

...wait, was it?

Oh dear, just the thought of me having to interact with that many people all at the same time was enough to make my soul leave my body. Because once again, I have to play the President of Hermit Island card here. That’s right, I’d promoted myself from mayor to president within the last five minutes. I like to think I’d earned it after all my years of exemplary hermit service.

The point was, this little get-together sounded precisely like the kind of situation that I wanted to be on the polar opposite end of the planet from. Seriously, the Devil himself could not have designed a more fitting hell for me. Don’t get me wrong, it was sweet that Lea had thought to include me and I’m sure all the other people going would be nice and everything, but... I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. Not with the cold, stabbing pangs of anxiety already coursing throughout my chest at even the mere mention of going to such a thing.

Luckily, I didn’t have to. I had an out. A beautiful, glorious escape route courtesy of the one, the only, my savior (queue angelic choir singing)... Anna.

Clearing my throat, I managed a small smile. “Thank you, I appreciate the invite, I really do and I’m so sorry but I’ve already made plans with my sister. Speaking of,” I glanced at the clock again before hurrying past him and back into the Ice Palace to drop off the cleaning rag, “I really should be going now, she’s probably already waiting for me.”

He slid off the countertop, spinning around to face me with a frown. “Aw, ya sure? Why don’t you just bring her along too? We won’t mind, the more the merrier!”

Still with the smile, now accompanied by a slight scrunching of my nose, I shook my head. “Mm, no, I don’t think that’ll work. But maybe next time, okay?” Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I stepped out from behind the counter once more and stretched up on my tippy-toes, reaching for the pull-down gate. Crud, why was I always so stupidly short?

“Let me.” Him being the absolute Ent that he was, Lea had no trouble whatsoever reaching it and yanking it down for me.

“Thanks,” I murmured before locking it up for the night, then turning and making my way towards the double doors leading outside.

“Hang on, I’ll walk you out,” he said, bringing me up short.

Turning my head back towards him, I held up a hand, “Oh no, that’s fine, you don’t have to!”

“I’m heading that way anyway.” He started walking away backwards, jerking a thumb over his shoulder towards the Pizza Planet, “Just let me close up shop real quick.”

“Really, it’s not necessary. I’m just going to-”

“Be back in a sec!” he spun one-eighty, jogging off.

“...go,” I finished weakly.

Well now what? I guess maybe I should wait? My eyes shifted to the doors longingly.

...well, I did tell him he didn’t need to walk me. Not my fault he couldn’t hear me over the sound of his own chivalry.

Screw it. I’m leaving.

With a small grimace and one last peek back to where Lea had just disappeared, I turned away, squared my shoulders and strode off.

Pushing through the exit doors and out into the night air, I spotted Anna parked at the curb right in front of me in her bright red Porsche convertible, its top already folded back. She honked at me, calling, “Hey, hot stuff! Looking for a good time?”

I merely grinned and shook my head at her as I approached the vehicle. However, just as I was reaching for the car door, a voice called out behind me, “Wait up!”

I winced, screwing my eyes shut.

Fudge.

Lea came to a stop next to me, panting and hunching forward, planting his hands on his knees. He must have been running the whole way to make sure he caught me before I could esc- erm, I mean, before I left. He lifted his head, blasting us with the full force of those dimples of his as his gaze flicked back and forth between me and Anna. “You sure you ladies can’t join us tonight?”

“Thanks, but-”

“Join you for what?” Anna cut me off, scooting closer by shifting from the driver's seat to the passenger, arms folding across the top of the door.

This. Right here. This was exactly why I hadn’t wanted him to walk me out.

“Nothing big,” Lea straightened up, placing a hand on the car door as well and leaning against it. “Just drinks and food with some friends from work. If you can’t change your plans though, that’s totally cool, I just wanted to-”

Because once Anna found out...

“What are you talking about?!” she laughed. “Of course we can change our plans! That sounds so fun, count us in!”

…there was no way I was getting out of it. Ugh.

“Wha- really?” No doubt about it. He was quite pleasantly surprised. “Great! The place we’re meeting at is called 7th Heaven. Short drive from here.” He waved to another car parked a few spaces further down the curb, which responded by flashing its blinkers, “That’s Xion. She drew the short straw for designated driver tonight. Just follow her car and she’ll lead you right to it!”

“Sounds good! See you there!” she waggled her fingers at Lea as he dashed off to get into the other car. Then she scooched back over behind the wheel, making room for me. Face pinching just a smidge, I sighed and got in, slamming the door shut behind me. Bouncing in her seat as she started the engine, she chirped, “Wow, we lucked out! This is gonna be a blast! You excited?”

“...thrilled,” I said dryly, buckling myself in.

Welp. Let’s get this over with.

Personal hell, here I come.

Author’s note: Ahhhh, there she is! Elsa’s feisty-pants lil sister makes her debut! Also, notice how much Anna says friggin’? Now those sound more fitting coming out of her, but Elsa grew up hearing those friggin’s (and fricks) coming out of her sis for years now, so it may have rubbed off on her a lil. Also the last name Fryse? Norwegian for ‘freeze’... yeah, I got a lil punny in coming up with Elsa’s family name, ignore me and my silly lil pleasures xD And more BBS ice creams sneak into this chapter - and I was mindful of their in-game descriptions too, so yes, it is in fact canon in the video game that the Snow Bear flavor has *shudders* tofu in it. TOFU. In ICE CREAM. Thanks, but no thanks!

Anyway, moving on! Now Anna drags our dear antisocial hermit off on an unwanted adventure! What’s next for our intrepid heroine? Will she survive this dreaded night of socializing? Just who exactly will be at Friday night drinks anyway? And with the sheer volume of ice cream Lea probably consumes daily, just HOW massive must his dentist bill be at this point, I mean really?? We may never know the answer to that last question, but as for the rest, stay tuned to find out next chapter!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to any new followers out there (hello! :D) and to those of you who hit that like button last chapter, seeing that always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

10 notes · View notes

sanderssidesfanfiction · 5 years ago

Text

Not-So Tiny Sides: The First Day After

A/N: Welp, it only took a year, haha, but we finally got up and finished this story! Forgive us for the delay or not, but, uh...yeah. Either way, we’re posting this. If you do forgive us, thank you for being patient!

Patton woke up the morning after they had all been cursed hoping everything was just some weird dream he had thought up. Then he walked out to the Common Room and found Roman in Virgil’s old clothes and Virgil biting his fingernails like he did when they were younger and he knew. That wasn’t a dream, that was yesterday, and the curse hadn’t worn off. “Hey, kiddos,” Patton said. “Where’s Logan?”

Roman looked over and shrugged. “He saw us like this, freaked out, and ran back to his room. I haven’t the faintest what he thinks that will achieve.”

Patton felt a sinking in his stomach. Already, he could feel himself slipping into a place where he would feel safer, but he couldn’t do that, not if everyone else needed him. He sat down on the table in front of the couch and sighed. “Well, we’ll make sure he’s okay in a minute. Right now, we have to do a little more research into what this thing is, exactly. And we should probably bring Thomas into it.”

Virgil whimpered at that and shook his head. “No. No no no.”

Patton rubbed the back of his neck. “I know you don’t want to, kiddo, but he’s gonna find out one way or the other. Isn’t it better for him to be prepared if something happens?”

Virgil looked him over, and Patton did his best to look entirely open without showing how scared he was about this whole thing. After an eternity, Virgil swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”

Patton nodded. “So, we have two options: get into what this is, and then tell Thomas, or tell Thomas first and then research with him.”

Roman shrugged. “I mean he’s going to know either way, why don’t we just tell him now?”

“‘Cause what if there’s bad stuff about it that we don’t know yet?” Virgil asked.

Patton was about to respond when he found himself sinking out of the Mind Palace and summoned into Thomas’ living room, where Logan was already standing, sucking his thumb. “Hey, Pat,” Thomas said casually. “Care to explain why, exactly, Logan is sucking his thumb, and what happened yesterday that he keeps mumbling about?”

Oh. Thomas was more than a little irritated, and that was not how Patton wanted to go into things. “I’ve only done a little bit of research myself, Thomas, but uh...Roman-took-us-on-a-quest-and-the-Dragon-Witch-cursed-everyone.”

Thomas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Cursed you how, exactly?”

“Uh...she replaced something about our coping mechanisms so that instead of handling stress or work like we would normally, we go through this thing, as far as I know it’s called age regression? And it’s where someone basically acts like a child or has childlike behavior for whatever reason. Apparently one of the things Logan does is...he sucks his thumb.”

Thomas looked between Logan, who was staring at Patton with betrayal on his face even as he kept his thumb in his mouth, and Patton himself, who was starting to worry about Thomas’ reaction, and how the others might behave if he kept acting irritated. “You’ve got to be joking.”

Patton winced. “Uh...sorry, Thomas, but I’m dead serious.”

“I am going to kill Roman,” Thomas muttered.

“Don’t do that!” Patton exclaimed. “He blames himself enough! And besides, everyone is already only barely holding on by a thread! Do you really want to make someone besides Logan slip up? Virgil’s already jittery and Roman did not take everything well yesterday. No blaming anyone!”

Thomas just groaned and waved a hand toward Roman’s corner, causing the creative aspect to rise up, still in Virgil’s old clothes. Roman took one look at Thomas and immediately shrank back and away. “I’m-sorry-I’m-sorry-I’m-sorry,” he immediately started saying so fast Patton could barely make it out.

When Thomas held up a hand Roman stopped, but not without shoving a fist in front of his mouth, or unshed tears in his eyes. “You guys really like making my life difficult. Where’s Virgil?”

On cue, Virgil appeared on the steps, still chewing on his fingernails. “Don’t do that!” he whined. “I don’t like being alone suddenly for no good reason.”

Thomas’ eyebrows raised and Virgil shrunk in on himself slightly. “It’s Roman’s fault,” he defended.

“Is not!” Roman exclaimed.

“Is so!” Virgil said.

“You said yesterday it wasn’t my fault!” Roman shot back.

“He also was an adult when he said that,” Patton gently pointed out. “It’s a lot easier to blame someone else as a kid when you’re scared, Roman. Virgil’s just freaking out a little, which is completely allowed under the circumstances.”

Thomas blinked and turned to Patton. “Since when are you the mediator?”

“Since I’m the only level-headed adult left in the room,” Patton muttered under his breath. Out loud he said, “Well, someone has to do it, and they obviously can’t.”

Thomas shot him a look that Patton took to mean Thomas had probably heard what he said under his breath, but he was going to let that subject matter drop for now. “Okay, so that explains the why. Do we know the how?” Thomas asked. “And more importantly, do we know the how to change this back?”

“No and no,” Logan said, removing his thumb from his mouth. “There was obviously some sort of inhalant in the smoke that we were forced to breathe in from the Dragon Witch. Beyond that I haven’t the faintest what could have occurred, scientifically speaking, to cause this.”

“Hey, welcome back, Logan!” Patton said with forced cheer. Someone else was adult now, which only made him further feel like he had to slip. He scrambled for shreds of his adulthood but all the emotions running higher than normal just knocked him off his feet completely. Without warning, his hands starting moving rapidly left to right at the wrist joint as his anxieties rose.

Virgil looked over at him. “You good, Pat?”

Patton just forced a smile and nodded.

Virgil narrowed his eyes. “Liar,” he said.

Though there wasn’t any real venom behind the statement, Patton felt hurt, and he was sure it showed on his face. His hand rocking just sped up into overtime.

Virgil tentatively got up, walked over, and gave Patton a hug. Patton stiffened at the first touch, but soon melted into the embrace, bringing his hands around Virgil’s middle and trying to stop the shaking that had started to take over his body. “It’s okay,” Virgil murmured. “It’s okay, Pat.”

“No it’s not,” Patton said softly, but with conviction. “It’s not, and that’s the problem.”

Virgil sighed and nodded. “But no use working yourself up over it, now is there?”

Patton closed his eyes and a few tears leaked out, but he said nothing, only hugged Virgil tighter. Virgil rubbed circles on Patton’s back, and when Patton felt marginally better he pat Virgil on the back twice to let him go.

Virgil went back to his spot and Patton wiped his few remaining tears away. “Sorry,” he said. “Got a little carried away, there...”

“I fail to understand why you would apologize for merely expressing emotions, when logically speaking, that’s a majority of your function,” Logan said.

“Eh, it’s what the emotions say I should do,” Patton joked.

Logan squinted at him, and Patton shifted on his feet. Did he say or do something wrong? Was he not allowed to joke about this? What was going on? “You appear to be the oldest out of all of us when this thing...occurs. Any idea why that might be?”

Patton shrugged helplessly. “Nope. Do you have any idea why?”

Logan shook his head. “Were I under duress to find an answer, I would say that perhaps because you are used to indulging in childlike behaviors, you were affected less than those of us who put on a more forced sense of maturity. However, there is no way to test that hypothesis.”

Thomas sighed and shook his head. “Well that explains why my emotions have been everywhere and I’ve overall felt off-balance. What do we do now?”

“I would recommend looking into this more,” Logan said. “With knowledge comes the possibility of staving off whatever caused this until more opportune times.”

Thomas nodded, and looked everyone over. “Well, it looks like you and me might be the ones to focus on the research, Logan, I don’t know if anyone else is currently up to it.”

Patton dropped his head in guilt. He didn’t mean to cause a problem, honest, it just...sort of happened.

There was a hand on his shoulder and Patton looked up to find Thomas looking him over. “You can’t blame yourself for this, Patton,” Thomas said. “Any of it. And that includes how you feel. Come on, let’s look around the apartment for a bit, I’m sure we could find something that you might like to do. I probably have an old coloring book or two somewhere.”

Patton smiled and nodded at the offer. And such went the rest of the morning. Logan was doing research on the computer, Roman was scrawling stories in the margins of old papers, and Virgil seemed content to curl up under a blanket and doze.

By lunch they had a bit more information about what age regression was, and ways that they could find small releases if there was no way around feeling different, but had no idea what they could do to reverse this. It was around lunch that Roman brought up the possibility no one wanted to wonder about. “What if we can’t change this back?” Roman asked.

“Well, logically speaking, I suppose that we would set up some sort of...schedule for release from responsibilities so we’re not all stuck in various stages of regression,” Logan said.

“That’s not a bad idea to set up anyway,” Thomas pointed out. “Each day someone could have the opportunity to regress, and if they don’t take it there could be a second chance for someone else. And we just rotate through the week.”

Patton looked up from the paper he was doodling on. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” he said. “Maybe Logan could have Mondays, Virgil Tuesdays, Roman Thursdays, and myself Fridays? Weekends are fair game for everyone, and Wednesday is a day where we all try to be adult.”

Logan thought about it. “I could switch days with you, Patton. There’s no need for you to go last.”

Patton shrugged. “You said yourself I seem the least affected by the curse. Only makes sense that I would be able to mostly wait longer too.”

Logan looked like he wanted to protest but ultimately shrugged it off. “If you insist,” he said. “I can type up a schedule and save it to the computer so there’s no fights over who does what on which day.”

Patton nodded idly and everyone else murmured agreement. Already, Patton felt stuck inside his own head again. What would happen if they couldn’t change this back? What if the curse just made them worse and worse and it never stopped? There were too many ways this could go wrong, and Patton couldn’t account for all of them. He curled up in a ball and tried to force himself to think happy thoughts, but it wasn’t working.

Virgil came over and draped part of his blanket over Patton. “It’s gonna be okay,” Virgil whispered. “We all have each other, we’re gonna get through this.”

Yeah, Patton supposed that was true. Even if this curse lasted a while, they would still have each other, and that was important.

Okay. Yeah, he could get through this.

Tag List: @cjcipher666

#sanders sides fanfiction #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #Age Regression #not-so tiny sides #our creations #ts agere

85 notes · View notes

icharchivist · 6 years ago

Text

perso-rant underneath and at first i intended it to be more light hearted but welp cant dive into myself without digging the bad stuff so just ignore this as rambling.

(idk if the cut works on mobile so as usual blacklist #ichapersonal to skip it , its quite long)

its night and im noisy and all but yknow part of the reason m/lb is such a healing show for me and i rewatch it every couple of days?

i cry everytime M.arinette's family is on screen pretty badly bc i get so envious all the time. i hate my shitty family (and often can relate to A.drien's ressentment) so just seeing such a /healthy/ family being often shown litterally brings me to tears. im like C.hat in the animan episode when he stares at the family picture with a sweet smile (another detail that stupidly make me cry who allowed th i s)

like. i dont relate to A.drien's relation to his family but some of the emotional effects is often a moment of "welp. mood." and being kinda sad /for him/ even if i can feel it for myself too. but then with M.arinette's family everytime they get to be on screen i realize how happy this sort of dynamic makes me and it makes me /so envious/.

like my mom is an artist and an excellent cook but she always barred those interests from me bc it was /hers/ and it was for /her ego/ and this attitude just killed every curiosity i had and remplaced it with a complete unability to care.

i used to bake as a kid but my mom was always shutting down everything i was doing, and if i was asking for help or recieps she would just tell le "it's a secret just watch " and never letting me know tf she was doing so i stopped lmao. everytime ive tried meals since it was only for myself and with a hard mocking from family and mom saying she had a better recieps and i should just let her do so i dont even try it often. (moreeven now that the kitchen is opened to the living room and they're super judgemental when im in it)

i was messing with drawings and paints in her workshop when i was a kid but she would always point out flaws and take my tools to correct it without telling nor showing me how and it killed it, it took me until my 14yo to start doing mindless doodles and then my breakdown when i was about 20 to seriously try back to draw and do art and try different tools (until my right hand made it impossible for me to hold a tool and the failure still feels yknow)

i wanted to sew things and make clothes (at the time for my dolls) but my mom was never letting me touch the tools (that we HAD since not only she made clothes but her mom actually had a fabrique shop. like. right next door. i think it became part of my mom's trauma hating her mom and refusing us to connect with her, more so with what happened when i was 7 and we lost contact with them but still, the damn irony. and i cant remember if my grandma ever let me close her sewing material but i was a damn kid after all) so this is another thing i didnt pursue

i wanted to pick up music (piano mostly) bc my uncle is a musician but my parents never wanted to invest in that because they already gave a piano to my sister (that i wasnt allowed to use) so ye that was dropped lmao

and i started to write when i was about 11 and it was that /one thing/ i didnt need help for from anyone, completely self taught, with my own ways and tools, and my parents were always dismissive of it, never listening to me, always telling me it wasnt important, that i should focus on something else, and after other circumstances that added to that i dropped writting around my 17/18yo and it had been painful to even try to write again since.(i came back to writing around my 20yo a bit before my breakdown but after it happened it started to die out and i felt exhausted and stopped after a few months and since then i've never been able to pick up writing again ay.)

(and im not touching the obsessive elements bc like- the fact she does it for her crush makes it different, but the sort of things she does? taking pictures and putting them everywhere in her room when she hyperfixates, making overcomplicated schedules and such? i litteraly do that with fiction. i made a freaking timeline for this show. i am currently working on organizing codex from d.a and an approval guide for christ sake. and im not talking about my multiple fandom shrines in my room and the fact i legit have one for m/lb made from pictures found on merchs.

or also the fact i have a lot of passions i'd love to share and seeing M. play video games with her dad for exemple makes me so bitter when all i get is backhanded insults from my parents when i bring it up.)

So sometimes i see M. and part of me is just in awe, loving everything about her. the other part of me tho... i feel... a bit robbed? like she's such a creative kid, she's incredible and she inspires me everyday, and i cant help but think how i would have adored her when i was a kid. (im not even kidding, as a kid i requested my mom a costume of black cat for h.alloween and a l.adybug costume for the carnaval. i have pictures of that at my dad's place sadly it kills me. also my room when i was a kid used to be covered with l.adybug stickers like. HELL my mom doesnt care about my interests but last year she bought me a M/LB winter callendar (bc its been years i was mentioning i wanted one, a selfish whim but oh well) and i had a huge double take bc i was certain she didnt remember me talking about this show- and she did not. when i asked her why, she legit told me "because she reminded me of you as a kid with your pigtails your obsession for l.adybugs". like!! i cant even stress how kid!me would have adored this show and especially LB./M.) (the pigtails too this time i have proofs around there i used to carry them all the time until i was bullied for it at school. (bullying at school instead of good friends also adds to the difference in question tbh lmao))

there is something so... weird into seeing the parts of yourself that you cut yourself from in a character, and see that the main difference is because of how the family (and bullies) treated those elements so drastically differently.

my family was always neglectful but differently than A.. the things i relate to with him is how he specifically still holds on hope that his father will do better at least just for one day and his reaction when he's left down saying he's just used to it. and like normal, not every kind of abuse are the same and all but i still relate enough to feel sad.

but M. is always a whiplash of feelings like i could have been this sort of girl in a better environment.

at 13/14yo she was already making stuff up, baking, designing clothes, doing art, she was doing so many things, even forgetting the superhero part. she was being happy being a creator at her pace and with encouragement. at 13/14yo i was starting to show concerning signs of d.epression because i was trying to handle my parents's divorces and the multiple trials that followed that /i/ had to handle by finding middle grounds, allowing some of my father's blackmail to avoid worse, and by litterally having to collect infos from mails everytime to prove against some of his arguments to the judges. and my sister refusing to talk to us for a year, which caused us basically to feel very bad thinking of the eldest sister who ran away from home, and having to handle my father's harrasment and emotional abuse of constantly belittling me (fuck this was the age he legit told me i would probably end up a p.rostitute so ye!!! fuck that!!!) andd the fact my mom was also falling apart from all of it on me and i was always supposed to cheer her up while i was having a hard time in a new school and new environment away from the very few friends i had and again feeling abandonned by my sister which freaking sucks after already had suffered that from our eldest one.

but M. makes me cry every. goddam. rewatch. its like maybe the ultimate wish fufilling story of just how i would have loved my family to be. of how i think i could have turned up.

and that realization hits so badly everytime.

there's a thing with my hyperfixations where i'll always find a way to tie it back to my traumas. i dont know if im pulling straws, or if the things are there. for having watched m.lb when it came out unfazed and only got hit with that realization upon rewatching- i feel it was more me realizing "there is something there that is touching me more than before" and having an introspection to get it.

and i think the difference is that- before my breakdown the characters and stories i related to where the eternal optimistic-yet-damaged "never give up!" type of characters. When things started to go downhill to my breakdown and since then the fictions that talked to me the most were all dealing with guilt coming from toxic environment that werent your fault per se but you pierceved that way. my way to relate were to characters who felt deeply connected to their guilt (peak being c.loud of f.f7 that even topped it with the deadly skin disease making him lose will to live (because ye that happened. still hate to watch out for that so ye), and memories issues, you would have told me at 13yo when i first watched that movie that this would be what i would relate to him about 7 years later i would have laughed at your face.), which translated with pushing people away and self destructing habits.

and i know i watched m.lb the first time around that time, when i was 20/21. and that may be why i didnt feel that. that my concerns were too elsewhere to realize that. That i was too focalized on how i felt like i failed by suddenly breaking under the pressure, having all the things i've kept burried kicking me out at once, and that i couldnt afford to be a burden to anyone. and it translated with me loving characters like that because in most cases their friends ended up reminding them of what was important - and sometimes just getting frustrated about your fav being as dumb as it forces you to pull yourself back together lmao. not always working but it was there.

now im 23. i cut ties with my father for about 3/4 years now, with all the shitty things that ensued out of the last trial where he sued me and his still-happening harrasment (sometimes silly sometimes scary). My mom and step dad are suffocating me more and more everyday. my health had become so disastrous i cant even manage to go school or find a job. And more than ever im frustrated and angry.

and i think it may be a shown of recovery? perhaps linked to therapy? of while i still have guilt of falling apart- /they/ are the reason i fell apart. and I'm yet to have proper apologizes for it. i grew furious at my family. of how much i feel robbed.

lately im so angry at everything i lost, was taken of, stolen childhood all of that- because of my parents, mainly. (hell even the bullying at school - in primary school it apparently started bc of gossips about why my eldest sister ran away from home, and in middle school it was first bc my parents insisted on sending me to private school where i was an outcast. which then had me truly embrassing the outcast persona that had made it impossible for me to be at peace in the two others middle schools i went to. highschool saved my social life tbh).

i think it's therapy and recovery that is making me shift the blame and feel so angry at them. so bitter. and suddenly i see in an innocent kid show a "what could have been". same starting personality, different people to channel this.

and this is. frustrating.

but it makes me love it even more. idk if its driving anything else than ressentment but at least for the time of an episode I'm in a bubble of a.lternative universe where i can forget about my life and feel satisfied at once.

like finding a piece of myself that i deliberately broke and burried to never think about it again, and realize far later how it missed to the whole, and how damaged this piece is now, but still is.

and there is something incredibly healing about that. i would never have thought there would be this much healing out of this anger and yet satisfaction. what a strange feeling.

fiction is funny that way. the things people can get out of it to deal with their own psyche are so different one person to the next.

it's just so weird for me to go from "i relate to the horrors this character went through" to "and fuck those horrors. let me think about what could have been if this didnt happen."

even moreso knowing i had this piece of fiction before and didnt approach it that way. there's a time and a mindset for everything. apparently now was the best mindset for me huh

.......

so ye apparently i cant like something like a normal person and have to go on about how it connects to my deeply rooted traumas lmao.

anyway it's been eating me up for weeks now and it's 4:45am i have absolutly no impulse holding me back. if you sat through this piece of work im sorry. just needed it to get it out of my chest.

i'll go back to hugging my cheap-yet-lifesaving c.laire's l.adybug pillow now

good night o/

#ichapersonal

8 notes · View notes

sky-girls · 6 years ago

Text

Chasing Colors

I don’t even know dude I was bored I wanted to distract myself and this was born, it’s pribs a mess and it was written on under an hour so welp enjoy I guess lol

⭐

She doesn’t look up when he comes in but she still knows who it is, it’s a little embarrassing but it’s not just the rhythm of his steps or the art supplies hanging over his shoulders and much less the sound of his voice humming a song, always a different one that she can’t really place, it’s just that he comes around the coffee shop every weekday around the same hour.

He always asks exactly for the same thing too, one black coffee, sometimes when he hands her the cash his hands are full of smudged black ink or something, sometimes they are totally clean, and then he just goes to sit on corner sipping his coffee and looking at everyone with boredom and disinterest.

And he always stays about the same amount of time, just looking at people and doodling something on his notebook, until 4 p.m comes around and he he gathers his things and goes away to what she assumes is class. The coffee shop is close to campus anyway, every customer and almost every employee are college kids.

She smiles at him when he comes to the counter as always and he smirks back, she wonder what she has to do to get an actual smile out of him, but she guesses he is just one of those guys who doesn’t go around giving free smiles much less to their baristas.

“Good afternoon,Luna.” He says, with a polite yet almost teasing tone and every time he speaks to her she has to fight the urge to blush or giggle, because she is hopeless apparently. She doesn’t dwell on the fact that he knows her name, he has been coming here for almost the whole semester it would be weirder if he didn’t. She knows his too and it means completely nothing.

“One black coffee?” She asks with a gron and his smirk grows bigger.

“You haven’t forgotten about me, I see.” He winks at her and she does blush just a little bit but she manages to hide it looking for his change.

“I don’t think it’s possible to forget about you.” She tells him carefully avoiding his eyes, today his hands are stained with what seems like charcoal.

“No one has managed yet at least.” He says smugly and she rolls her eyes at him.

“There’s always a first time for everything though.” She says as she is making his coffee.

“But I am sure it won’t be you.” He says as she passes him his coffee and this time she can’t hide the blush from him.

After that as usual he walks away and goes to his table takes out his notebook and starts drawing. She gets distracted pretty easily, the constant rush of clients keeping her busy and and Matteo just as a thought on the back of her mind, it’s a pretty busy day, the cold has finally arrived to buenos aires and people are acting accordingly and getting much more hot drinks, she has more important things to do than focus on what Matteo is doing or not.

In fact her shift ends and she hasn’t glanced at him more than once or twice so she is surprised to find him still on his table focused on his notebook. She looks at her phone is just a little after four, maybe he got too distracted and hasn’t noticed the time or maybe she is a psycho for noticing the hour he always leaves, whatever it is she still gets closer and softly pokes him on the shoulder. She sneaks a look at his notebook as he is surprised, he is drawing the couple on the other side of room, it’s all in black and white and that’s not something she usually appreciates but it’s still so incredibly pretty Luna can’t help but stare, it looks almost like a picture and she is totally in awe of it.

“You needed something?” He asks and just then she remembers she wanted to talk to him and not just stare at his drawings.

“Ah, yes, yes, sorry.” She says quickly looking back to Matteo, who is staring at her with a raised eyebrow. “It’s just that it's a little bit over four and I wanted to make sure you didn't forget you have somewhere else to be or something, not that i know you schedule by heart or something but you do always stay until this time so it’s kinda weird that you are still here so in case you got distracted or something I just wanted to remind you.”

He keeps just staring at her as she rambles with this annoying little smirk on his face and next she is definitely not going to be as considered, he can miss whatever he has to do.

“My class got cancelled.” He explains amused. “Thanks for noticing though, I didn’t know that you cared so much about me.”

“I don’t.” She says to quickly and the little chuckle he lets out makes her roll her eyes. “You are just always here I am bound to notice you.”

“Yeah, I am pretty hard to to ignore.” He says leaning back on his sit and she just sighs annoyed.

“But well now that I know you won’t miss anything important I can go without problem.” She says turning around and walking a few steps until he calls her and she turns back to him.

“Or you could stay with me and help me kill time.” He says and she raises an eyebrow. “ I am supposed to meet with a friend after class but now that I have no classes and he does I am just getting bored.”

“You seem pretty entertained for me.” She says pointing at his notebook but still takes a seat in front of him.

“This is what I do every day.” He says passing the pages of the notebook too fast for her to see anything, she does notice some of his drawings seem to have color. “In class, in my free time, to prepare for test and I love it but it’s not like I couldn’t use a break.”

“Is that for a test or assigment or something?” She asks softly and he shakes his head.

“Nah, this is mostly just practice and relaxing.” He tells her. “I just like to come here and draw people.”

“What kinda people?”

“I don’t know.” Matteo shrugs. “Everyone.”

“Everyone.” She repeats slowly and he nods with a knowing look in his face. “Even me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teases and Luna pouts.

“Well yes, that's why I am asking you.” She says and he just stares back at her. “Or what is what you draw a secret.”

“Nope.” He says and Luna’s eyes get distracted with his lips for a second, but just for a second. “But art is something especial you know? I don’t know how I feel just showing it to you with nothing for it.”

“What?” She asks and Matteo leans in closer to her resting his elbows on the table.

“I am gonna show my soul to you, Luna.” He tells her almost laughing. “What do you have to offer for that?”

“Isn’t art supposed to be a gift for humanity or something?” She asks and he laughs, it’s a nice laugh, she had never heard it before.

“That’s what people who won’t live off art say.” He tells her and she sighs. “So how much do you want to see the drawings of you that might or might not be here.”

“First, I want to know if there are really any drawings of me there.” She tells him. “I need to make sure you have something to offer and are not just tricking me to get free coffee or something.”

“That never crossed my mind.” He gasps dramatically. “Let me tell you something, what if we do something else? What if I show one of the drawings I have of you and then I tell you what I think would be a fair price to see them all?”

“What if I don't’ like your price?” She asks crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well you just don’t get to see the drawings, what else could happen?” He asks with a small chuckle and she pouts pretending that she is thinking of it but honestly she is too curious of course she will say yes.

When she nods he grins at her and starts searching his notebook quickly, she sees many, many black and white pages pass, drawings of people and things and landscapes all in black and white and then he stops on one page full of color and turns the notebook towards her.

It’s her, of course it’s her that’s what he was supposed to show her, but it’s her full of color, the only thing full of color in the drawing everything else, her co workers, the background, is black and white, but she is not.

She is laughing at something Jim said, she even remembers what it was because this is not from many days ago and as she pulls the notebook closer to her she can see the slight blush on her cheeks from the laughter, and the crinkles around her eyes, which she doesn’t think are as green as he has made them be actually. She can also see her messy hair trying to escape the ponytail she uses for work and all the colors of her chipped nail polish, everything on the picture has just as much detail if not even more but somehow she feels like the most important part of it, probably because of the color but she is the part that is supposed to be catching the attention and she doesn’t know what to do with that.

“So do you like it?” He asks softly, tapping his finger on the table and for the first time she notices he is anxious about this.

“It’s beautiful.” She whispers clearing her throat softly. “Why did you draw me in color here, though?”

“You are very colorful person.” He says simply and Luna looks down to herself, this is not the first time someone has told this to her but she doesn’t think Matteo has ever seen her out of the uniform so she has no idea what he actually means.

“I am not talking about your clothes.” He tells her with a soft laugh.

“Then what are you talking about?”

“So do you want to see the others?” He asks changing the topic completely. He is smiling, just a little,an actual sincere smile, he seems pleased of himself, proud actually, not in the annoying way he seems to carry himself around always but ina softer, more honest, more excited way. It’s pretty cute if she is being honest.

“That depends.” She tells him. “On what your price is.”

“It’s very simple thing.” He says nonchalantly but she can see the way the way the corner of his lips are fighting to turn into an even bigger smile. “Just go out with me some day.”

“Go out with you?” She asks surprised.

“Yes, yes, whenever you want , wherever you want.” He informs her bringing the notebook back to his side of the table and closing it.

“If I do will you tell me what you meant with colorful?” She and and he hums tapping his pencil against his chin.

“Probably.” He settles on. “It depends on how it goes.”

“But I will get to see the rest of the drawings you have made of me, right?” She makes sure.

“That was the deal, yes.” He tells her and Luan bites her lower lip, there are definitely worse things to do than going out with him, it’s not like she is losing anything here and besides she really really wants to see the other drawings now.

“Okay then, I would love to go out with you.” She says with a smile and extends her hand so he can shake it, he chuckles at this but takes shaking it softly and not letting it go when he lets his hand fall softly on the table.

“Fantastic.” He says with a smile and eyes bright with somethings she can’t quite place but makes her feel warm inside and like butterflies are coming alive inside of her. “I can’t wait.”

#soy luna #lutteo #sorry #i didn't even make the idea justice lol #but maybe one day tm #mine

29 notes · View notes

talisnormandy · 4 years ago

Text

5 down, quite a few more to go

Chapter 5?

“Alright girls, I’m going to be showing some more basic notation from the Verse, so make sure you write this down...” Lysa sat up attentively, chalkpen and slate tablet held at the ready, as Tyrno neatly illustrated musical notes across the blackboard. Notation from the Verse was so beautiful, so intricate, it was difficult to keep up with her tutor’s handwriting. But Papa told her that Tyrno was the best Choir healer in Dimmerdwell, and she still had a lot to learn before she could use her own voice for healing.

It seemed that someone agreed, for as Lysa paused a moment in her note taking, the scratching of chalk on stone continued at a rapid pace beside her. Looking over, she saw that her twin, Ledi, was writing much faster than Lysa could manage. Lysa has never seen her write so fast: it almost impressed her... until she noticed that Ledi wasn’t looking at anything being drawn by their tutor. Curious, Lysa leaned closer, trying to catch a glimpse of what her sister was doing, but suddenly Tyrno began to speak once again, causing Lysa to refocus her attention.

“I know you are already aware of this,” Tyrno continued, still writing away, “But the Verse is not just a song, and it is not just simple medicine. It is the power of the soul itself, the power of Life, taking shape from the notes you sing. It can reach out and guide even the most ill and decrepit of souls from the brink of Death. It is a gift from the gods to the dwarven people, a literal miracle. As the future of the Choir, it is your duty to know the entirety of the Verse by heart, so that even the most grievous of wounds and diseases present no obstacle to you. Now, I know that is no small feat, which is why we start with the basics...”

Lysa listened to his lecture, enthralled. The thought of using her actual soul to heal others, becoming a powerful member of the Choir, being of use to the dwarves of Dimmerdwell, it all just took her breath away. She kept listening intently, so intently that, when she felt a slight tap on her shoulder, Lysa nearly fell out of her desk chair.

Ledi had leaned over towards Lysa, her little writing project presumably completed. She wore a wide grin on her face, one Lysa knew meant she had done something she shouldn’t have. But she couldn’t help but look, as Ledi quietly revealed what she’d been doodling: A very rotund Tyrno, seemingly screeching little musical notes. It was surprisingly detailed, and Lysa couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped her.

Tyrno stopped mid-sentence, and turned around. He pursed his lips as he inspected the twins, but Ledi had already concealed her slate under her desk. Both sisters eyed him innocently.

“Please, pay attention,” Tyrno said. “We have quite a lot to go over.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Papa’s gonna be mad if you start fooling around during singing lessons again,” Ledi heard Lysa saying . Though they walked side by side, her sister’s quiet voice barely rose above the hustle and bustle of Dimmerdwell as they made their way home. From miners carrying chunks of ore and slag over their shoulders and in handcarts, to the crowds of dwarves chatting and laughing, the sounds of the city echoed around in the massive cavern it resided in.

Ledi walked on, trying her best to ignore the commotion. One of the miners was pulling a particularly overladen cart, struggling though she had seen miners pulling nearly a thousand pounds before. Deftly, she pulled a fist sized chunk of ore from the cart, hefting it in her hand. Ledi grinned as she inspected her catch, admiring the silvery veins running through it. This would make a pretty good throwing rock.

A hand tugged on Ledi’s frock sleeve “Hey, are you even listening?” She looked over at Lysa, who had donned the same disapproving look their father often gave her, although on Lysa’s younger face, it made her look more like she’d bitten into a sour candy. “You need take this a little more seriously. You know how important it is to Papa that we join the Choir, and do the best we can.”

Ledi flipped the ore in her hand, and with a grunt tore the chunk into two separate pieces. “Yeah, you’re right sis. It IS important to Papa, and to Tyrno, and to the Choirmasters. But, I don’t remember them ever asking what I thought was important.”

“Well, this stuff SHOULD be important to you. Our history is important, the tradition is impo-“ Lysa stopped mid-sentence as Ledi waved a hand in her direction. “Enough with that, I already hear that stuff plenty from literally everyone else.” As they kept walking, a serene chorus rose above the din. It sprang forth from the Cassius Cathedral; no doubt there were many miners receiving care after a long day of work. Ledi picked up the pace, trying to walk off her annoyance. “Why do you care so much about what Papa wants anyway?”, she asked.

“Well, because he says it’s what Mama would’ve wanted.”

Ledi scoffed. Mama had died when the twins were very young; Ledi certainly had no recollection of her. “He would say that wouldn’t he? Like you or me would know what Mama would’ve wanted.”

“I still think it’s important to honor her wishes,” Lysa huffed.

“Yeah yeah.” The two of them stopped in front of the cathedral. It stood all the way to the roof of the cavern, a solid, monolithic pillar of stone, whilst the voices of the Choir chorus reverberated beautifully through the air. Two dragon-esque statues of Vivitheron flanked the entranceway, and above it, sat the target of Ledi’s throwing stones: a dark gray gargoyle overlooking the city of Dimmerdwell. She had tossed many a stone and bullet at this gargoyle, hitting it square on. but not once had she managed to knock any pieces off of it. She wondered if she could change that today, as she bounced the silver ore in her hand.

Ledi offered one of her stones to Lysa, who, after brief consideration, reluctantly accepted. “I just, don’t want to be told where to go or what to do. You know this sis,” Ledi said, taking aim. “At least, I want to do whatever I want to, before I’m old and gray and weighed down by responsibilities...” She whipped the silver as hard as she could, hitting the gargoyle in the center of its left wing, causing the silver chunk to shatter and rain down in front of the doorway. From what Ledi could see, the statue remained unmarked. She frowned. “Your turn.”

Lysa began winding up. “You mean, leave the city? You know that’s really dangerous Ledi. Not to mention illegal. Plus I know you have a beautiful voice. You’d probably end up being High Conductor of the Choir if you really set your mind to it.”

Ledi shivered. “Ugh, don’t say that. You’ll make me puke.” She watched her twin as she took a few steps forward and threw the silver with all her might. It ended up overshooting the gargoyle by a few feet, and struck the wall of the cathedral instead.

“Welp,” said Ledi. “There’s always tomorrow.”

Now it was Lysa’s turn to frown. “I don’t get why you do this everyday.”

Ledi shrugged. “When you’re surrounded by rocks all day, you might as well get some entertainment out of them.” Lysa just shook her head, bemused. “C’mon, let’s go get something to eat.”

As Ledi turned to leave, Lysa tugged on her sleeve once again. “Uh, L-Ledi?!”, she stammered.

Ledi’s eyes followed where Lysa was pointing, back towards the gargoyle. Behind it, cracks had to formed where Lysa’s throw had it the wall, marring the otherwise perfectly smooth surface. Then, an entire section of the wall crumbled inward, revealing a dark space within.

Ledi’s jaw dropped. “Wow! Just how hard did you throw that one sis?” She nudged Lysa’s side teasingly. “I can’t imagine anyone being too thrilled about the big hole in the wall eh?” Lysa stared in horror. “I-you- but we... Oh no! Did anyone see that?!”

Ledi glanced around. The foot traffic on the road had slowed some, and those walking down the street weren’t looking their way. “I don’t know,” she shrugged. She peered up at the hole. “I didn’t know Cassius Cathedral was hollow.” The dwarf girl looked back over to her twin, who’s eyes still darted around worriedly. Shaking her head, Ledi eyed up one of the Vivitheron statues, and made her way over. Hand over hand, she began to haul herself up the side of it,

“What are you doing?”, Lysa whispered, though it was maybe too loud for Ledi’s taste.

“Keep it down, will ya?”, she replied. “I’m just going to check it out for a second, you coming or not?” She flashed her a winning smile.

Lysa sighed loudly, as she made her way towards the statue. “Oh gods, now this, this is a terrible idea.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With one last heave, Lysa pulled herself up onto the gargoyle. Ledi stood inside the broken wall, looking up. “Lysa, this is really bizarre. There’s stairs in here.”

Lysa grumbled angrily under her breath. This certainly wasn’t the first time Ledi’s antics got her into trouble, but vandalizing a cathedral? But then again, how was she supposed to know the walls were hollow? Gods, Why was she such a bad throw?

Lysa climbed up next to Ledi, and peered up the stairs. They curved slightly, continuing up and up, until they rounded a corner. Looking up, there didn’t appear to be a ceiling; the dark seemed to stretch up forever. Even though her large dwarven eyes were accustomed to very little light, Lysa couldn’t see more than a few feet through the inky darkness of this hidden crawl space. “Where does this lead?”, she wondered aloud.

“Welp, only one way to find out,” Ledi piped up. And with that, she started to ascend the strange stairs, her footsteps echoing loudly. Lysa stared up at her, then stared back out the hole. “Why am I like this? Just why?”, she muttered, and began to follow after her twin.

The two of them walked on, taking care not to slip on the steps. Neither of them spoke; the air seemed oppressively dank, like this staircase had been blocked off for a very long time. Lysa began coughing from all the dust they were kicking up. “I don’t like this Ledi, I think we should go back before we get in trouble.”

Ledi turned back towards her Lysa, crossing her arms. “You can go back if you want, but I’m going to see how far this goes. It already feels like we’ve made it above the cathedral, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah...” Lysa said, unsure. “I also don’t want Papa worrying about where we are.” In truth, Lysa didn’t want to admit to her that she was a little scared. Ledi eyed her a moment, then took her hand and continued her ascent, twin in tow.

They continued, for what seemed like forever, until suddenly Ledi stopped. “I think I see... a light?” she said, peering closely.

Lysa cocked her head. She didn’t see anything. “Um, what? What light?” But Ledi didn’t respond, instead picking up the pace, causing Lysa to stumble up the stairs after her. Soon though, she spotted the light her sister had seen. It seemed to softly glow with a steady orange light.

“Wait, Ledi, I don’t think this is the best id-“ Suddenly, she let go of Lysa’s hand, and disappear into the light. Lysa followed after her, but had to instantly cover her eyes, blinded by this intense light. She had never seen such light before, to the point that she didn’t think her eyes would adjust.

“Ledi! Where’d you go!”

“I’m standing right here dummy. Cover your eyes, then slowly uncover them.”

Lysa did as she instructed, and the sight that greeted her took her breath away, for the second time today. Towering stone crags, cold white powder, and the biggest, brightest light she’d ever seen peeking out between it all.

Ledi stood next to her, equally awed. “Sis,” she said, “I think we’re outside.”

#writing #author #fantasy #dwarves #twins

0 notes