#support at xerox

[thenewsfactsnow]

Xerox Announces 15% Job Cut, Leadership Shuffle Ahead

Xerox, renowned for its digital printing and document management technologies, has unveiled plans to downsize its employee count by 15%, marking a significant step in its broader strategy aimed at restructuring its organizational framework and operational model. The restructuring initiative includes not only a substantial reduction in the workforce but also a comprehensive leadership reshuffle,…

[bananarchy4ever]

I photocopied a plastic bag I got in Ukraine and printed it to some 228 labels. For sale, follow the link. All proceeds going to anti-fascist Ukrainians on the frontlines and queer-lead emergency initiatives in Ukraine.

[sentanixiv]

Cannot emphasize enough the importance of independently verifying information and making your own assessment of a situation prior to getting on a soap box about it.

Brought to you by watching/reading a lot of strike misinformation circulating casting unions as The Big Greedybutts and then employers as The Big Scroogebutts.

Fact check, please.

[cctservices]

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[adafruit]

🎄💾🗓️ Day 11: Retrocomputing Advent Calendar - The SEL 840A🎄💾🗓️

Systems Engineering Laboratories (SEL) introduced the SEL 840A in 1965. This is a deep cut folks, buckle in. It was designed as a high-performance, 24-bit general-purpose digital computer, particularly well-suited for scientific and industrial real-time applications.

Notable for using silicon monolithic integrated circuits and a modular architecture. Supported advanced computation with features like concurrent floating-point arithmetic via an optional Extended Arithmetic Unit (EAU), which allowed independent arithmetic processing in single or double precision. With a core memory cycle time of 1.75 microseconds and a capacity of up to 32,768 directly addressable words, the SEL 840A had impressive computational speed and versatility for its time.

Its instruction set covered arithmetic operations, branching, and program control. The computer had fairly robust I/O capabilities, supporting up to 128 input/output units and optional block transfer control for high-speed data movement. SEL 840A had real-time applications, such as data acquisition, industrial automation, and control systems, with features like multi-level priority interrupts and a real-time clock with millisecond resolution.

Software support included a FORTRAN IV compiler, mnemonic assembler, and a library of scientific subroutines, making it accessible for scientific and engineering use. The operator’s console provided immediate access to registers, control functions, and user interaction! Designed to be maintained, its modular design had serviceability you do often not see today, with swing-out circuit pages and accessible test points.

And here's a personal… personal computer history from Adafruit team member, Dan…

== The first computer I used was an SEL-840A, PDF:

I learned Fortran on it in eight grade, in 1970. It was at Oak Ridge National Laboratory, where my parents worked, and was used to take data from cyclotron experiments and perform calculations. I later patched the Fortran compiler on it to take single-quoted strings, like 'HELLO', in Fortran FORMAT statements, instead of having to use Hollerith counts, like 5HHELLO.

In 1971-1972, in high school, I used a PDP-10 (model KA10) timesharing system, run by BOCES LIRICS on Long Island, NY, while we were there for one year on an exchange.

This is the front panel of the actual computer I used. I worked at the computer center in the summer. I know the fellow in the picture: he was an older high school student at the time.

The first "personal" computers I used were Xerox Alto, Xerox Dorado, Xerox Dandelion (Xerox Star 8010), Apple Lisa, and Apple Mac, and an original IBM PC. Later I used DEC VAXstations.

Dan kinda wins the first computer contest if there was one… Have first computer memories? Post’em up in the comments, or post yours on socialz’ and tag them #firstcomputer #retrocomputing – See you back here tomorrow!

[hollowtones]

hi holly! are there any computational devices you find particularly amusing in some sense?

Also the Xerox Alto. It's one of the first (maybe the first?) personal computers designed from the ground up to support and use a graphical user interface. It's from the early 70s. It cost tens of thousands of dollars. They only ever made like two thousand. It looks like this.

Look at that fucking mouse. It's a brick with three buttons. The monitor's in portrait. The guts look like they're inside a Wallace and Gromit-ass dehumidifier. I love this thing.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Erin Reed at Erin In The Morning:

Yesterday, news broke that transgender woman and computer pioneer Lynn Conway passed away at the age of 86. Her story is nothing short of remarkable. Conway helped pioneer early supercomputers at IBM but was fired after she transitioned. She went “stealth” and had to rebuild her career from the ground up, starting as a contract programmer at Xerox with “no experience.” Then, she did it all over again, pioneering VLSI—a groundbreaking technology that allowed for microchips to be made small enough to fit in your pocket, paving the way for smartphones and personal computers. In 1999, she broke stealth, becoming an outspoken advocate for transgender people.

Conway first attempted to transition at MIT in 1957 at the age of 19 years old. At the time, the environment was not accepting enough for transgender people to do so. She would have faced enormous barriers to medical transition, as few doctors were knowledgeable enough to prescribe hormone therapy a the time. Like many transgender people seeing enormous barriers to care, she spent the following years closeted. Eventually, she was hired by IBM where she helped develop the world’s fastest supercomputer at the time on the Advanced Computing System (ACS) project. The computer would become the first to use a “superscalar” design, which made it capable of performing several tasks at once, dramatically improving its performance and making it much faster than previous computers. Despite her pivotal role in the project, she was fired when she informed her employer that she wanted to transition.

What she did next is nothing short of remarkable. Realizing that as an openly transgender woman in 1968, few companies would hire her, she went “stealth” and pretended she had no significant prior experience in computers. She quickly advanced through the ranks and was hired by Xerox, where she famously developed VLSI, or Very Large Scale Integration. This groundbreaking technology allowed for thousands of transistors to be packed onto a single chip, revolutionizing electronics by making cell phones and modern computers possible through miniaturization and increased processing power. Conway didn’t stop there. After gaining fame for her computer innovations, she came out in 1999 to advocate for transgender people. She was among the early critics of Dr. Kenneth Zucker, an anti-trans researcher still cited today by those working to ban gender-affirming care. Conway slammed Zucker for practicing “reparative therapy,” a euphemism for conversion therapy. Notably, Zucker’s research continues to make false claims that “80% of transgender kids desist from being trans,” numbers based on his clinic's practices, which closely mirrored gay conversion therapy. That clinic has since been shut down over those practices.

RIP to Lynn Conway. She was a tireless fighter for trans rights in a time that publicly supporting LGBTQ+ causes (let alone trans causes) wasn't popular, and that led to her firing from IBM in 1968.

Conway helped develop the supercomputer while at IBM, and later on at Xerox, helped developed microchip technology found in cell phones. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[cindersnows]

ok @storgicdealer i started writing out a thing in your askbox and then lost it so im writing it in a post instead.

freevic ramblings

(...that kind of ended up turning into mangvic my bad)

ok so like. vic escapes the youtube video. and they find the freedom ad and instantly go into the outernet. theyre one of the first citizens of carteblan, and exactly the type of stick freedom had set out to help when he started a city in the outernet.

(for a little context; the original victim is still dead, as well as all her clones. in my hc/theory, the victim we know who starts rocket corp and lives in the outernet escaped from a youtube video after basically just living out his own death in a fucked up loop over and over until she gained sentience and decided to break out. she's like. a copy of the original victim. haha xerox of a xerox.)

in the beginning, most of the houses in carteblan are still being built, so vic ends up rooming with freedom. and they were roommates. they become friends pretty quickly and freedom tries to help vic come to terms with their trauma and stuff, (he doesn't know that vic escaped from the youtube video --- vic is insecure about being a copy so they lied and said they just survived the deletion and got to the outernet).

they both get happier together even after vic decides to move out and start their own company. freedom's happy that vic's moving on from what noogai did to them and becoming their own person (hahaaa if only he knewwww,,,). freedom also decides to support the company as it's the first proper organization thing to open up in the town and it's pretty useful! as carteblan grows, freedom gets officially appointed as mayor and rocket corp kind of becomes tied in with the government, giving them tech and stuff.

i don't think freedom and vic ever properly label their relationship as anything other than a friendship, though they do go on dates and stuff pretty frequently. its pretty queerplatonic actually. vic likes to spend time with freedom a lot because he makes it feel like a normal person, a good person who's doing what's right for society. for freedom, hanging out with vic is like a breath of fresh air, one of the few things that didn't change after he was given responsibility over and entire city of traumatized stickfigures.

sometimes vic has major depressive episodes where its difficult for him to do any work which makes him even more frustrated, and freedom is the only person she really considers close enough to help. they remind me of that one short where the couple text each other "feet pics" to get each other out of bed when they're sad.

honestly, when i think about it, i'm pretty sure freedom is the only person vic actually considers a friend. most other people she hangs out with, she only vaguely likes, and a lot of the time she has to pretend to like people for pr. (in my hc, their relationship with the mercs is purely transactional, and i doubt either party is looking for more.)

both freedom and vic have insecurities about their relationships with other people; freedom has gotten into multiple romantic relationships over the years, though none of them have really stuck, and he often feels like people only like him for his power. vic feels like that too, but with the added feeling of "if people knew the real me, they'd hate me". they lie to everyone, so they feel like everyone's lying to them in return, with the exception of freedom, who's only ever been honest (and vic convinces herself that she's not lying when she says she's happier now and that rocket corp is working for a good cause).

freedom's probably unsure about the idea of capturing chosen (and dark?) at first, but vic manages to convince him by talking about how many people have been hurt by them and lost their home websites/games because of them. the capture is left up to rocket corp alone, since it was their idea, and since by this point rocket corp is basically just the military but if it also sold household tech. freedom's proud of vic for taking the steps to help keep other people safe after vic has frequently beat themself up for acting 'selfishly'.

spoiler alert: freedom gets called to the rocket facility after a massive fight is reported and the place basically blows up, and finds the color gang + chodark + kingduo + the mercs + vic and several other workers all badly hurt with signs of them having gotten into a fight. freedom automatically takes vic's side, because those are two terrorists fighting against fucking Rocket Corp, of course he's going to assume vic's in the right here.

but then cg and kingduo explain the situation (including the torture and the interrogation and sutff), and while freedom doesn't want to believe it, vic refuses to answer when freedom asks if it's true, and freedom knows in his heart that vic was the 'villain' here.

freedom is just. extremely disappointed in vic. and vic in turn feels horrible, because she was convinced freedom would take her side, having seen the ugliest parts of her and accepting her regardless. but freedom thought that vic had moved on, that she no longer wanted revenge, that she was happier.

he can't bring himself to formally arrest vic, much to the protests of cg+kingduo+chodark. they're best friends, after all, and freedom knows from his experience with his own animator that hurt people hurt people. but vic still needs to face consequences, and freedom knows more than anyone else what would hurt vic the most. he strips vic of his power, removing him from the position of the ceo of rocket corp and saying the government is going to take full control of it.

he also says that he's going to completely cut contact with her.

this hurts vic more than anything else, being abandoned by the one person she considered a friend, close to a lifelong partner, all because of her own actions. even after mango and purple decide to help pick vic off hir feet and become a better person, vic spirals, shutting out everyone else and refusing to connect with anyone.

it's only when mango lets vic stay with him after she loses all her property, continuously being kind to them even after seeing what a horrible person they are (because he's been in their place), that vic starts to open up.

this DOES lead to vic beginning to put mango on a pedestal the same way he did with freedom, but i mean, people don't change THAT easily. it'll probably take a few talks with purple to help break the cycle, since purple also struggles with idolizing people (albeit in a different way). i could say So much about victim and purple helping each other become better people but this is so long and also that's off topic so that's a ramble for another day.

[zomb-rabbit]

FOLLOWER CELEBRATION TIME !!!!

you guys have shown me soso much support and it really means the whole world to me, and i wanna show y'all that with my writing !!

i'm gonna be opening up requests for NSFW / romantic / platonic alphabets, romantic / platonic matchups, and songs for characters!! this is gonna be a longer post, so all of the specifics are under the cut :)

also, i'll of course still be taking normal requests, but while these are open they'll be the priority for me to get to :)

Who's available for requests?

EverymanHYBRID

HABIT

Evan Myers

Marble Hornets

Tim Wright

Masky

Brian Thomas

Hoodie

Jessica Locke (fem/gn reader only)

Creepypasta

Toby Rogers

Eyeless Jack

Jeff the Killer

Jane the Killer (fem/gn reader only)

Nina the Killer

Clockwork (fem/gn reader only)

BEN

Overwatch

Cole Cassidy

Ashe

Reaper / Gabriel Reyes

Soldier: 76 / Jack Morrison (masc/gn reader only)

(this includes the Blackwatch and Deadlock eras! just lemme know, without specifics I'll assume it's current era)

Songs for characters ;

a song for how i think a character would react/feel about certain things! being in love, their thoughts on themselves, things like that :) i'd be posting a song link, specific lyrics i think really match with what's being asked, and an explanation/break down on how it relates.

Romantic / platonic matchups ;

give me a rundown of who you are, if you want it to be romantic, platonic (or both), and i'll match you up with someone :) quick physical, personality and partner preference/needs descriptions would be great, the fandoms you want, and anything else you'd want me to know would be great !! if you'd want a basic template, i have this one right here !!

NSFW / romantic / platonic alphabets ;

you can ask for a full alphabet, or just specific letters, for characters :) all three are down below if you wanna get a feel for them before you request

PLATONIC

A = Adventures, what kind of crazy shit would you get into together?

B = Bond, what kind of - platonic, obviously - relationship do you have with each other?

C = Cuddling, do you ever cuddle? how physically affectionate are you?

D = Dance, do you ever dance together? how?

E = Enemies, were you ever enemies? Do you share the same enemies?

F = Fight, how often do you fight? how do you resolve conflict?

G = Gain, how have you helped each other improve as people?

H = Help, how do they ask you for help? how do they help you when you need it?

I = Injured/Ill, how would they act if you got hurt or sick?

J = Jokes, what’s their sense of humor like? how do you joke about things together?

K = Kisses, do you ever kiss? how? Kisses not on the lips count

L = Love, how do they show you they care?

M = Meeting, how did you meet? how did you become friends?

N = Nesting, do you co-habitate at all? how?

O = Oasis, is there a specific place that is “your place”? what is it?

P = Protection, how protective are they over you?

Q = Query, how inquisitive are they when it comes to getting to know you?

R = Record, what’s something you’ll never let them live down?

S = Support, how would they show their support for you? how far would that support go?

T = Trust, how much do they trust you? how do they show you that?

U = Uplift, how do you bring each other up?

V = Vacation, do you ever travel together? what’s that like?

W = Worry, do they worry about you? how often?

X = Xerox, are there any traits or habits of theirs that you’ve picked up by accident?

Y = Yahoo, what’s an inside joke you share?

Z = Zany, do they have a weird side only you get to see? what’s it like?

ROMANTIC

A = Attention, how much attention do they want in the relationship?

B = Baby, do they want a family? Why/why not?

C = Cuddle, do they like to cuddle and show affection? How?

D = Dates, what are dates with them like? What do they like to do? 

E = Equal, do they prefer to be more dominant or submissive in the relationship?

F = Fights, how do they handle arguments? How quick are they to forgive?

G = Gratitude, how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them? 

H = Honesty, are they honest with their s/o? How important is it to them in a relationship? 

I = Insight, how easy is it for them to read their partner? (Mood, thoughts, etc.)

J = Jealousy, do they get jealous? If so, how easily? How do they deal with it?

K = Kiss, what are their kisses like? Who kissed who first?

L = Love, who said “I love you” first? How often do they say it? When did they realize they were in love?

M = Marriage, do they want to get married? How long do they have to be in the relationship beforehand? What would the marriage be like? 

N = Nickname, what are the nicknames they have for their s/o? Do they like when their s/o uses nicknames?

O = Open, how long does it take for them to open up to their s/o?

P = PDA, how do they feel about public displays of affection? What kind of PDA do they show?

Q = Quality Time, what do they like to do for quality time with their s/o?

R = Reunion, how do they react after being apart from their s/o? How do they cope when they’re away?

S = Sad, how do they cheer their s/o up when they are feeling down? How do they like to be cheered up?

T = Thrill, do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine? 

U = Understanding, how well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

V = Value, how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?

W = Wild Card, a random relationship headcanon

X = Explicit, a NSFW headcanon

Y = Your Name, if they did get married to their s/o, who would take whose last name?

Z = Zz, how do they like to sleep with their partner? What time do they like to go to sleep/wake up, ideally?

NSFW

A = Aftercare, what they’re like after sex

B = Body part, their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s

C = Cum, anything to do with cum, basically

D = Dirty secret, pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

E = Experience, how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?

F = Favorite position, this goes without saying

G = Goofy, are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.

H = Hair, how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.

I = Intimacy, how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect

J = Jack off, masturbation headcanon

K = Kink, one or more of their kinks

L = Location, favorite places to do they do

M = Motivation, what turns them on, gets them going

N = No, something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs

O = Oral, preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.

P = Pace, are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.

Q = Quickie, their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.

R = Risk, are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.

S = Stamina, how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?

T = Toys, do they own toys or use them on a partner or themselves?

U = Unfair, how much they like to tease

V = Volume, how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.

W = Wild card, a random headcanon for the character

X = X-ray, let’s see what’s going on under those clothes

Y = Yearning, how high is their sex drive?

Z = Zzz, how quickly do they fall asleep afterward?

[omegaremix]

Omega Radio for October 8, 2022; #331.

Maxshh: “Achilles Second Stand”

Tomato Flower: “Blue”

Dry Cleaning: “Anna Calls From The Attic” + “Gary Ashby”

Frances Chang: “Support Your Local Nihilist”

Sinead O'Brien: “Like Culture”

Cheekface: “Pledge Drive”

Mind Shrine: “Pocket Change”

Personal Space: “Cervice From Kew Gardens”

Kamikaze Palm Tree: “Predicament”

Foyer Red: “Pickles”

Drahla: “Under The Glass”

Spllit: “Adobe House”

Mush: “Northern Safari”

Market: “Old”

Gee Tee: “Struck Down”

C.P.R. Doll: “Total” + “Drabness”

Spasi: “Jerk Squad” + “HTCM In Block City”

Snooper: “Xerox”

Palm: “Feathers” + “Parable Lickers”

Fake Palms: “Flags” + “Visions”

Wombo: “Backflip”

Dr. Sure’s Unusual Practice: “The Realest”

Bench Press: “More Than That”

Chained Bliss: “Creative Seizure”

Ganser: “People Watching”

Lifeguard: “I Know I Know”

EIEIEIO: “The Odds Of Sitting Down” + “OKOKOK”

Class: “Pills On A Dish”

Clamm: “Monday”

Horse Lords: “Mess Mend”

Deluxe post-punk, d.i.y., city sounds.

[i-try-to-write-stuff]

Okay, so I'm trying to write up a new story.

Basically, this is something I envisioned with Robert Fischer. Let me know if you wanna see more...

Here is the first paragraph of the story -

Robert was in the middle of reading the quarterly financial report when he heard a sudden crash coming from the hallway. The sound was deafening and rang through the empty corridors of Fischer-Morrow office. It was late, and even with security guards patroling the building; there was no one in the office in L.A. Anyone would be scared of the unknown but not Robert Fischer; he rubbed his tired eyes, and without any bother, he grumpily got up to check the source of that ungodly sound at 8 P.M. on a Friday of a long weekend. He strode out of his cushy office, the motion activated lights lit his way, which further irritated him. He walked in to find you on the ground and tangled up in the electric cords of Xerox machine and the shredder.

And as always,

This blog supports Palestine. Zionists can fuck off.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Joseph (Jake) Klein

Published: Apr 13, 2023

Segregation has a new brand name: racial “affinity groups.” Race-based “affinity groups” have exploded in prevalence across the United States over the last few years, moving from workplaces into schools, religious congregations, and other organizations all across the country. Affinity groups can also be organized around other identity categories such as gender, sexuality, disability, and religion, but affinity groups were first created around racial identity.

In 1969, Xerox employees based in San Francisco launched the Bay Area Black Employees (BABE) caucus, the first known workplace affinity group ("caucus," "employee resource group," and "affinity group," are all terms that have been used to describe the same idea).  Overall, Xerox's chairman at the time, Joseph C. Wilson, was an important leader in driving workplace integration. He reacted to race riots in the 1960's with a mission to increase integration and hire African-Americans who had previously been denied employment opportunities, and took numerous concrete actions to do so.

However, as has happened on numerous occasions to other well-intentioned leaders (including in response to other 1960’s race-riots), Wilson chose to take advice not just from integration-oriented civil rights leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., but from the Black Power activists responsible for the riots. Wilson enlisted the counsel of a group called “F.I.G.H.T.” While much of F.I.G.H.T.’s activism was productive and aimed at pushing back on genuine and oppressive racism, it was also a “decidedly militant” organization that “alienated much of the black middle class” and worked closely with the explicitly anti-integrationist founder of the Black Power movement, Stokely Carmichael.

Today, more than 50 years later, affinity groups have spread to 90% of Fortune 500 companies. These companies sometimes claim that racial affinity groups help foster communication and help bring new ideas to leadership. Corporations also point out that membership in racial affinity groups is usually voluntary, and therefore it cannot be a form of racial discrimination as banned under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. 

However, despite these claimed positives, many corporations have also found that affinity groups polarize employees, and many people of color are reluctant to join such groups for “fear of being reduced to their racial identity.” Even when they are organized and advertised as voluntary, the social pressures on individuals to join racial affinity groups are substantial. And although some data supports companies’ intuitions that affinity groups are helpful idea generators, these positive results may be better explained by the existence of a group creating increased discussion time, rather than the racial makeup of that group.

With affinity groups’ recent spread throughout K-12 schools, higher education, religious groups, and many other key institutions throughout our society, we face an even worse danger. While businesses are beholden to the profit motive, schools and other non-profit institutions are not. This creates more opportunities for affinity groups in non-profit institutions to advance a fanatical ideology, since organizational leadership doesn't need to worry, as businesses do, about the possibility that a Marxist ideological agenda would compromise their ability to operate in a financially viable manner.

Advocates of racial affinity groups claim they are not racist or segregationist, but do so while practicing racial segregation and making explicitly racist claims. For example, Truss Leadership, a so-called “racial equity” consulting group that works with numerous school districts, declares that “Racial Affinity Groups are NOT … Racist or segregationist,” but also says they are a place where white people can “reckon with their Whiteness” and non-white people can “take care of themselves and one another…in the absence of Whiteness.”

FAIR ally Ye Zhang Pogue has written beautifully for this Substack on how affinity groups in schools can harm our society by needlessly pitting people against each other along racial lines. What advocates of affinity groups often ignore is how prejudice and discrimination is often caused by diminished contact between groups, and can be overcome by increasing that contact and having group members work cooperatively instead of separately (one of psychologist Gordon Allport’s four conditions for reducing racial prejudice). This insight into the power of contact is the same idea that has driven FAIR Senior Fellow Daryl Davis’s pioneering efforts to get Klan members and neo-Nazis to give up their lives of hate.

Even racial affinity groups' most extreme and vocal advocates have acknowledged that “Caucusing can generate anxiety even at a visceral level for some. For people of color, history has shown that real harm can come from spaces exclusively reserved for white people. … People of color may also experience racial anxiety and stereotype threat, the fear of being viewed through societal stereotype ‘lenses’ by white colleagues and supervisors.” These are not ungrounded fears. Corporations seeking to pursue effective anti-racist strategies would do well to remember the horrors of the interoffice segregation of America’s past.

Segregation in the form of racial affinity groups today is disturbingly similar in concept to the separate bathrooms, water fountains, bus sections, and other spaces in generations past. Then as now, we ought to remember the worldchanging verdict from Brown v. Board of Education, that “Separate [is] inherently unequal.” As Supreme Court Chief Justice Fred M. Vincent explained in the Court’s also unanimous decision for McLaurin v. Oklahoma State Regents, which was cited in Brown v. Board of Education, “To separate [children] from others of similar age and qualifications solely because of their race generates a feeling of inferiority as to their status in the community that may affect their-hearts and minds in a way unlikely ever to be undone.”

==

The KKK must be beaming with pride at the outright enthusiasm of re-implementating segregation.

Were it discovered that they were shadow-funding this, I would be incapable of feigning any amount of surprise.

Wokeness divides and destroys.

EDIT:

That's so weird. We keep being told that "cRt iS nOt iN sChOoLs." And yet, here we find out that not only is it in schools, but it's a good thing, because "opposing" - as ominous, authoritarian, and nigh on DiAngelo-istic choice of words as I've ever heard - is wrong. Gee, when did that happen? They must have done that really quickly. /s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2JvQVXWQg

"DiAngelo's essay doesn't talk about disagreements or debates, but only about those who 'practice' social justice, and those who, quote, 'resist' it."

To actually tell people "[not to] entertain this blog or its opinions" or "don't read the post" has really strong religious blasphemy overtones. Like the priest telling the congregation not to read Harry Potter.

Still, the very first thing the kids do when they get home from church after being told not to read Harry Potter is to read Harry Potter. So sermonizing people on how to close their ears to maintain their moral purity usually doesn't work out that well for the clergy. So, thank you for dangling an irresistible temptation for them, like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden..

P.S. Opposing gay conversion therapy and child mutilation is a hill I'm willing to die on. Line in the sand. Pretty comfortable there. The latter, at least, used to be a self-evident taboo: you don't tattoo kids, you don't cut children's testicles or breasts off, you don't drug girls by flooding their bodies with quantities of hormones their body is not equipped to handle so they're balding and infertile at 16. Despite pretence to the contrary, these positions aren't the slightest bit controversial.

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

Beat the Dead Horse (You'll Get Red White and Blue Confetti)

fandom: marvel

word count: 3521

(AO3)

Some people say that you die the same way you're born. They extrapolate this point to different ends- alone, the more sheltered or depressed folk say; screaming and covered in someone else's blood, say those with a bit more humor, or else those who've lived violent lives; surrounded by loved ones, say all the civilians who have never and will never go to war, who hope to die old instead of young.

Steve doesn't agree with any of them. He was born on July 4th, amid fireworks and celebrations in the still heat of Brooklyn, with both his parents there and already full of love, just a few short years before his Pops passed on, and quite a few more years before Ma joined him. Now, he's sitting alone in the cockpit of a plane hundreds of miles from Brooklyn- but fast closing that gap- in the sharp cold of midwinter. His closest loved ones are only reachable over radio, not that he wants any of them here with him.

Peggy stays with him to the end. He can still hear her voice as the jet hits the water, and he knows that his own radio cutting out on her end must feel something like the tiny breeze he felt against his hand as Bucky just barely missed it; it must feel like finding out about the 107th when he was still just a dancing monkey for good old Uncle Sam; it must feel like other things, too, but Steve can't really think around the burning cold of the water all around him, flooding the whole jet and swallowing him whole.

---

"Steve Rogers was an American hero, there's no doubt about that. He lives on in comic books and archived propaganda films, in childhood memories and history books alike. Captain America is, some say, more myth than man by now; there has even been some debate on whether or not Steve Rogers's transformation under Dr. Erskine's formula was exaggerated in government propaganda (Rich, 1967), or whether there was even a successful test of the Super Soldier serum that took place at all (Waters & Meyer, 1966); some more contemporary and less mainstream authors have even questioned if Steve Rogers was a real person at all, or merely a government prop to aid in the propaganda effort during a time when morale was at a low (Bouchard & Wright, 1971).

Despite these debates, it cannot be overstated the impact that both Captain America's life and loss meant to the American populace, both during the war and even having a substantial ripple effect to the modern day. How many high schoolers are currently writing essays in their English classes about how this author or that poet uses him as a symbol for war, peace, or hope itself? Depending on which books they're reading, it may even be all three at once; and yet, at the same time, how many television advertisements have you seen today that feature Steve Rogers in support of this or that product, his likeness Xeroxed straight from the comic books for the occasion? The man is everywhere. He lives and breathes in your living room, at your kitchen table, on the radio waves and air waves alike.

It can make you wonder, sometimes, if you love him or hate him. He did nothing to most people who are living now, didn't murder any grandfathers- at least, no grandfathers that anybody would be proud to talk about- and yet you can hear the kids and the talk radio men chattering about him, about his legacy, about how backwards America is because of it. How he's gone from 'hero' to propaganda machine for the more Conservative folk, how he represents all that's wrong with the world today, how he stands up for nothing but racism and war and staying in 1955 for everybody's lives ad infinitum.

It's absurd. It's ahistorical. It's shaping modern culture as we know it."

- Richard Elliot, "A Second Transformation of Steve Rogers," February 1973.

---

The light is bright enough to be seen even through his closed eyelids.

He's not sure of when, exactly, he becomes aware of this fact. For all he knows, the light's always been bright, and he's just closer to the surface than he thought he would end up.

Is he dead? He doesn't even feel particularly awake, so that's not an unrealistic possibility. Maybe he's floating in front of the gates of Heaven, though he honestly feels more like he's lying on an Army cot more than floating anywhere. He'd thought that clouds, especially the Holy kind, would be a bit softer, but maybe there's some divine meaning behind it. There's a divine meaning behind everything, that's what his Ma used to say, and he's not about to question her or her faith now.

It's a long moment before it actually occurs to him to open his eyes and start tuning into the world around him. Everything is syrupy and slow, like it's just a bit too early on a winter morning and he's trying to think through the fog that's accumulated on the horizon and over the river. He feels like his brain's a car engine that's in dire need of oil, and the second he opens his eyes is when a mechanic finally pops open the hood of the car.

The lights are too bright, almost like they're pumping too much electricity into them at once. How much power is this building using? It can't be as much as the lights alone imply, because the bedding and the room both insist that this is nothing more than a military hospital- and they wouldn't waste money on the lights when they could be using that same money for more weapons. He jumps up off the bed, because something isn't right, and either something's happened or he's being played for a fool, probably both.

He looks out the window to see New York, from a few floors up, but it doesn't smell of the usual factory smoke and he can't hear any cars or people on the ground. The skyline looks too flat, and the window is situated such that he can't look down at the city, just at the windowsill. The only sounds that he can hear are coming from the radio, which is tuned to a baseball game that he idly listens to for a few moments as he steps back from the window and towards the bed.

After a moment, he realizes that the game sounds familiar; he remembers sneaking into it with Bucky just before he was drafted, sitting in the back of the stands with a terrible view but a view nonetheless, because they'd both gotten the day off from their respective jobs- Bucky at the docks, and himself at the local grocer's- and they figured it was a decent way to spend the day. He wouldn't forget that game even if they'd cut his head open and plucked the memory out of him.

Somebody's definitely trying to play him for a fool, but before he can think of what to do about it, the door to the room opens. In walks a woman, her tie done up all wrong, and all that he can do is demand answers for where he is, who's taken him, what's happened.

She denies everything, tells him that he's in a military hospital, and he truly commends the Germans on being able to fake American accents so well. Did they recruit a real American, he wonders? No, they couldn't have, because if this woman was truly American, she'd know how to tie her tie in the way that American women are supposed to. She looks like a man tied her necktie, so not American.

He's sick of this already. If he's being taken prisoner, at least respect him enough to tell him that instead of doing a stupid song and dance routine of trying to trick him into thinking he's safe. He moves past the woman and starts running for an escape, barely paying attention to the kind of compound they've put him in, only that there are a lot of windows and a lot of people in black suits. He runs out, hoping against hope that there will be backup, somewhere, or at least some kind of information on where he is and who's found him.

It feels like five seconds and five years before he stops. It's the middle of a busy street, with cars that look like Howard Stark personally engineered each and every one of them, while the buildings climb higher than any he's ever imagined. They're covered in screens, with what looks like hundreds of different colored film reels being projected on every one.

... It's still the same Manhattan, the man he later learns is Fury tells him. Just seventy years after you left it.

---

"Ronald Reagan's economic system is unsustainable, as stated far earlier than this publication by far better economists than I. Since I am not an economist, I feel that I should instead apply my own expertise to our current climate: American Nationalism is now higher than it's been since 1956, and that's not a coincidence.

Ronald Reagan, now famously having played a minimal role in the film, "Captain America: Siberian Takeover" (Russo & Russo, 1954), has become a symbol for both the American Right and America itself- though in a capacity greater than that of the acting President. His liberal use of Steve Rogers' likeness in his campaign makes his platform obvious to those who have studied the man in depth: he's practically synonymous with the caricature "Uncle Sam," and in a time of dwindling faith in the government and in America as a whole, in a time of disillusionment with the establishment, here he- and, by extension, Reagan- is to save the day against the Communists instead of against the Nazis.

So he wins the election, and all of a sudden everything is prosperous and the economy is booming. Everyone's buying cars, everyone's buying houses, everyone's buying everything and the 80's are already a time of hedonism and plenty mere months after his election. Captain America wins again, at least until this bubble pops and we all swing back the other way on the political pendulum."

- Megan Oher, "Reaganomics, Nationalism, and Captain America," December 1983.

---

It only takes two weeks before they need him again.

Two weeks to mourn everyone he's ever met. Two weeks to acclimate to the peace he was assured that he would have, only for it to be torn away.

He didn't miss the military.

---

TOM: Is that- is that the real Captain America? Fighting the Chitauri, there in the video, you see that?

KATIE: I do see it, Tom. I'd heard that they found his body about a month ago, but nothing on if he was actually alive all this time. We'd have heard, we're the number one source of information in New York, there's no way we could have missed this.

TOM: Well, either we did, or they managed to clone him. How long does it take to grow a man in a test tube?

KATIE: More than a month, I think.

TOM: Probably. But modern science is a wonder!

KATIE: I think they might have just figured out the serum from his body and given it to someone else, decked that guy out in costume instead. Seems less time-consuming than an entire clone, and besides, wouldn't a clone of Steve Rogers wind up like the pre-serum guy? He was shorter than me and scrawnier than you!

TOM: Yeah, unless it went into his DNA, they'd waste their money on a clone... the serum sounds about right. Unless it's just a really buff guy they found at some gym.

KATIE: He swears he doesn't do steroids or anything.

[STUDIO LAUGHTER]

TOM: Oh, no, of course not. Totally legit, just as strong as Captain America but completely naturally.

KATIE: Of course, of course.

- Transcript of the talk show, "Ragging On with Katie and Tom," Season 7, Episode 6; October 2012.

---

There's a press conference afterwards.

There are actually several press conferences afterwards, but they all blend together after a while, all the same information to different people and phrased in different ways. Yes, the Avengers are under SHIELD jurisdiction, or Yes, Loki is contained and there is no danger of him coming back and wreaking more havoc on New York or anywhere else.

There are also the fun ones, the ones that he'd thought were public information up until now.

Are you the real Steve Rogers? is a common one. He considers, for half a second the first time, lying and telling them No. He knows that if he's honest he'll never have a moment's peace again, he can never drop the act of Captain America, he'll always be beholden to upholding this title that's grown far larger than he could have ever imagined. His name is in history books, his costume worn by every actor who managed to claw their way into it both on Broadway and in the cinemas, every moment of his life before 1945 dissected and consumed by everyone who's gone through any American History class. He could shuck that weight off right now, he could pretend to be just the latest in a long line of actors and liars alike.

The temptation only lasts for a fraction of a moment, though, and then he remembers himself. Yes, he says, then and every time thereafter. I am Steve Rogers.

---

REPORTER: What is your opinion on Steve Rogers coming back to life out of the ice?

MELANIE: Well, um, I don't- I don't think I like it very much.

REPORTER: And why is that?

MELANIE: I mean, the last time things were so much about Steve Rogers, it was 9/11 and everybody started hating anybody who wasn't the same shade as printer paper, or- or dressed just slightly too masculine or slightly too feminine. Everyone was scared of everyone, and that was already going to happen after all this alien business, but I think the man himself coming back just makes it all worse.

REPORTER: So you think he shouldn't have been unearthed at all? Just left to rot?

MELANIE: I mean- I mean, he's still a person, and of course he deserves to live and all that, I just wish it weren't so public. I wish he just... didn't do all those press conferences, or helped out in New York but not in costume, or lied and said he wasn't really Captain America. It's not even his fault, he didn't even do anything, he's a product of his time and everybody putting his face all over everything doesn't help, but I wish that he wasn't the biggest signal that me and my friends all need to find somewhere to hide. I wish his face wasn't a sign that someone's going to start committing hate crimes against me, or worse.

- Interview Transcript, "Channel 9 News, Chicago," January 2013.

---

Steve doesn't understand why people seem so wary of him.

It's not the same kinds of people that used to be wary of him; instead, it seems to be reversed, with polite society welcoming him with open arms while the people on the outskirts skitter away like rats from a cat. When did it change? Even in 1945, it wasn't this bad, because he still easily got the trust of all the Howling Commandos- though, that might have been aided by his reckless rescue of all of them from Hydra.

Still, the Commandos had thought of him as one of them, an outcast from the military and society same as the rest of them.

Tony says the reason can be found online- or, more accurately, he'd said, Google it, I'm not explaining a half century of history when Wikipedia can do it better. So, here he is, typing away at a computer and routinely forgetting that he can backspace and correct his typos, only to remember when the machine spits back strange answers to his searches.

Everybody seems to think he's someone he's not. Everything he's getting back is telling him that Captain America is nationalism in a nutshell, which was true when he was filming all those propaganda movies and punching Hitler from California to France, but nationalism's come to mean something different now. Nationalism now means racism, means fear, means hate; and, again, it didn't not mean those things seventy years ago, but it's all the more apparent now that this is what he, as a person, has been reduced to.

It all comes back to the root problem: he's not a person anymore, not really, and now there's almost nobody who knows that anymore. There's nobody who hasn't grown up hearing about him, there's nobody around who he can just be any other man with rather than Steve Rogers, Captain America, and all the baggage that that entails. There's nobody he can talk to about Bucky, how they used to be something that wasn't quite best friends and was more along the lines of what he was on his way to being with Peggy after they'd ended that; there's nobody he can talk to about Peggy, either, and she's her own kind of legend, too, untouchable just like him.

Everybody thinks he's someone who would hate people like himself, which is ironic and at least a little bit funny. He thinks Tony would laugh at it, if he didn't hate Steve from the start of all this. Still, he's the one of all of them best acquainted with the future and how to make people think in the ways he wants them to think from a public relations perspective; if Steve wants people to stop associating him with that kind of regressive hatred, Tony is the best man for him to call, and he doesn't hate him so much as to give him bad advice on purpose.

Would people stop thinking that I hate minorities if I tell them that Bucky and I used to go out? may not have been the best thing for Steve to open that phone call with, though.

After quite a bit of coughing on Tony's end of the line, followed by an aggressive line of questions that inadvertently reveal quite a bit about what stories Howard chose to pass along versus what he chose to omit, Steve has his answer of Yes, but the PR people will hate you forever if you don't talk to them about it first. Steve is of the opinion that many PR people would rather he not say anything about that, and it's not really something he feels like bringing up, considering that they'd both broken it off long before he met Peggy or had the serum, but it does seem like an easier bomb to drop on everyone than the other option of insisting that he doesn't agree with the way his image has been used for the past seventy years and very slowly winning people over with that. He'd rather set the record straight immediately.

There isn't an opportunity for a while, and in that time, he finds the word bisexual and thinks he likes it quite a bit- and then he thinks of the irony in the knowledge that many people think he'd hate anyone who likes that word, too. He has to say something soon; immigrants are afraid, every kind of minority is afraid, and the conservative politicians are having the same heyday they've been having for months.

Finally, finally, there's a press conference scheduled by Tony, one that he doesn't tell anyone the purpose of, and for that Steve is eternally grateful. He thinks he's starting to bridge the gap that Howard built between them, constructed of distorted memories and insistence that Steve would have supported this or that when in all reality he wouldn't.

I am Steve Rogers, he says, mirroring the first thing he ever said to this particular public, far removed from his own public in his own time. I am Steve Rogers, and my mother was an immigrant to this country. I am Steve Rogers, and I am bisexual. These things are not congruent with the things that many politicians say that I am, or say that I support. I keep having words put in my mouth, and I am here today to stop it. I do love my country, but I do not love the things that my country has done in my name. I do not support the hatred or the oppressive agenda that my country has used my name to further. Thank you.

Reporters are practically screaming over each other, trying to get their questions answered. The lights are brighter than they've ever been, with camera flashes blinding him better than any fluorescents ever could.

Steve was born again the moment he woke up alone in that too-bright room in SHIELD a few short months ago. Now, in this too-bright room full of a cacophony from far too many people, he's killed something that's been alive far longer than he ever was.

[popculturebuffet]

4th of July 2024 Special: An American Carol Review (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Happy forth all you happy people! It's that time of year again to fire up Le Grill, spend time with your loved ones and blow shit up constantly and for those of you who want some explodey boom boom pow sticks I have a friend who might be able to help you with that

For me though this fourth is a special occasoin: See for the last two years Kev has pitched reviewing An American Carol, a career destroying right wing comedy from David Zucker, the guy who co directed such classics as Airplane! and Naked Gun, and who became an old man yelling at clouds for being peace loving commies apparnetly and had this film not come out in 2008 , i'm sure it would've been stuffed with jokes about how "COMEDY IS DEADDDDDDDDDDDDD". I swear every time a comedian I respected says something like that I die a little on the inside.

So naturally I put this off as long as I could as it sounded bad and worst like something that'd give me maybe just a little to riff on but mostly a cloud of "that's not funny". I eventually caved as Kev.. is a good guy. He's paid for a LOT of reviews, helped me in tight spots, and a LOT of his ideas for projects were straight fire, like covering the blue beetle episodes of brave and the bold, the various duck retrospectives or most recently footing the bill so I could finally finish my life and times retrospective. So while he is also a greasy motherfucker for putting me through this movie and I will not let him live it down, I couldn't say no.

Good news, this film DOES give me a lot to talk about. It's not the xerox of a xerox of zucker I was expecting: i'ts a full on zucker film and I credit the about five jokes that worked to that style. The bad news... is this film is the worst movie i've ever seen and every moment of it was pain to sit through. And I fact checked that to make sure it wasn't just recency bias: I looked at the films i've seen on letterboxd, where I spent my early days marking down EVERY film i've seen. I thought about it against films I truly HATED and coudl've held the crown at one point: Anger Management, Are We There Yet?, Little Fockers, Let's Be Cops, License To Wed, Biodome, Scooby Doo Return to Zombie Island, Muppet Wizard of Oz, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, and MANNNY more I don't necessarily hate with a good chunk of my being but still aren't GOOD. All of these.. and none is as painful to watch, as execrutiating, as insulting as this film. This film is bad, Kev should feel bad, and David Zucker should feel godawful for making this film. Not for being conservative, I mean i'm not a huge fan of being conservative but it's his right, just for making a film this insulting, one sided, petty, gross.

An American Carol is one long dig at Micheal Moore portraying him as a slovenly egotistical asshole who no one likes because David Zucker has a hate boner for documentaries, while also shoving down your throat the message that

But without any of that charm and irony: it's just a long screed that says "well if you don't support the war the terrorists win" and makes up the argument liberals think the war in afghantistan was fake and the taliban isn't real which.. no... no we do not. We think the Iraq War was a mistake and done soley for Bush's ego and own agenda. It's like if you were trapped in a twitter argument with a conservative for an hour and couldn't just.. block his ass and move on with your day, you HAD to engage. It's like if one of my surlier conservative uncles wrote a movie. This film.. is terrible. It sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. It is not good and what few good jokes it has are drowned out by his bullshit. If it were an ice cream flavor it would be pralines and dick. So unfortunately, we have ot break down WHY under the cut. And trust me if nothing else this film is FAR more batshit than you could ever fathom featuring patton's ghost mowing down the aclu who are zombies, songs on liberal indocrination, and Kevin McDonald playing with micheal moore's literal dead ass. Follow me under the cut. .you've been warned.

The movie follows Micheal Moore. For those who weren't around when he was a big name, Michael Moore is a doctumentary film maker, mostly known for being loud, bold and for getting huge success and acclaim for his 2004 documentary Farenheight 9/11, a documentary I haven't seen but now really want to, partly because it was a such a big deal even me, a children at the time, knew it existed so it's curious. And partly because it pissed off David Zucker SO badly he made this entire film as a rebuttal, and this film is such a pissy and petty attempt at a comeback I almost feel obligated to watch the thing that pissed him off out of pure spite.

Part of that spite comes out of how spiteful the film comes off towards Moore: The film depicts Moore as a documentary film maker with a massive ego who most of the world ignores because no one gives a shit about documentaries. Zucker comes off as REALLY fucking despising documentaries, taking every opportunity to make a joke about how no one watches them and no one likes documentary film makers and gives Moore a desire to break into features because of this. Now taking shots at how little america cares about documentaries? That's fine. It's added by the fact Moore DID want a best picture nomination and didn't get it, so I get trying to go that way.. but he instead does it so damn often, acting like fucking everyone hates documentaries and liberals only watch them because their teachers assign them, that I'm convinced David Zucker really just hates fucking documentaries and wanted to vent about it.

The problem is that he's using a real person to do this. Michael Malone's only diffrences from Moore is that he's a giant asshole, he's not married, and his films are all about hating america instead of systemic issues with it. By making your mouthpiece for what you hate about liberals "A real person but he sucks more because I hates him", it makes you come off like a whiny bitch who is mad this guy said mean things about the party you work for and thus is making every mean spirited joke you can.

Zucker spends the bulk of the film's run time taking shots at moore: His stand in can't get women, wants to direct a feature because no one likes documentaries, his only fans are liberals who are portrayed as sheepish assholes, and in the gag he repeats the most

Scott Steiner is less subtle with his fat jokes and he spent a good two minutes talking about the Dudley Boys FATTTTTT ASSSSSESSSS. The whole film has Moore eating constantly, being kinda gross with it and always obsessed with food. The fat shaming in this film is incredible. And i'm not against fat jokes: i'm chubby myself and if made in good enough faith or in bizzare enough instances they can work. But there's a line between "Making fat jokes because your fat or making them so cartooniishly nuts" and "a school yar bully picking on someone for being overweight" and this film is about 50% that.

Also just for the record: moore was married and had been since 1991 when the film came out and only divorced 5 years after this film, and is clearly just horny so Zucker can insert fanservice in slot b. As for the feature thing i'ts very clear Moore is happy doing them and got good success: Farenheight 9/11 was a MASSIVE success despite Micheal Esiner not wanting to release it and Moore and sex monster Harvey Weinstien having to reveal Touchstone was being petty about it. Moore was a known quantity and a minor celebrity. People knew who he was and saw his film. not every doc is going to be this big cultural thing but enough have been for him to come off as tone deaf. It's one thing to make a joke about something you know is true or distort it for the funny it's another to just.. lie for the whole film for a joke tha'ts nonexistent. Not only that MOORE MADE A FEATURE FILM. Canadian Bacon, a satire of the us and John Candy's last film. It didn't do well and he clearly decided he preferred documentaries. If you wanted to take a pot shot at him take a pot shot at him wanting an oscar because commercial success means nothing or something. When you start making up shit to make your point, you've already lost. Moore as far as I can tell at least tried backing up HIS points.

And you CAN make a statment with political comedy. John Oliver does it every week, 30 Rock once did a whole episode making a children's baseball team a metaphor for Iraq, and the Boondocks was full of clever satire, both of the rich that run the country and even of things most wouldn't tackle, like the massive hype train around obama that was overblown a bit. South Park makes a sport of it and while it dosen't ALWAYS work, some things like Douche and Turd hold up brilliantly. Doonesbury, one of my faviorite comic strips, does great satire. It may not be why i'm there (I love the large cast) but he weaves it in well using great character work.

Those shows though.. make an actual point. Oliver uses comedy to lighten the moon, the boondocks usually had a thesis for it's episodes and what it was targeting, south park always does. They think it out, make a point, while still making jokes along the way. Here it's clear Zucker didn't really think out his points or what his opponent had actually said. Gary Trudeau clearly thinks through his stuff, what who he's going after has done and gloms on it.

Zucker.. zucker just has the very broad point of "WE NEED TO FIGHT WAR BECAUSE TERRORISTS ARE A THREAT EVEN IF YOU BASTARDS DON'T THINK SO" and that Moore is HELPING them by objecting to the war.

He dosen't have any nuance to his take. The Zucker Brothers best comedies had some nuance: Airplane is a zany farce but there's an art to the joke. And while some of that art IS present here, it's drowned out by constantly trying to scream at the left and make conservatives feel better about their opinions. It's hard to enjoy Leslie Neilsen casually coming back from running after two people with a sword with blood on his blade when it's followed by General Patton killing a bunch of zombies from the ACLU who are demonized for... wanting to make sure we don't cross lines when torturing prisoners, imprison people indefinitely or by accident, or put the ten commandments in public court houses.

Yeah we'll come back to that, trust me, but you see my point: every bit of doofy absurdist glory.. is drowned out by a one sided argument with no empathy for the other side: Leftists in this film are portrayed as either attention seeking fuckwits, naive students, professors whose heads are still in the 60's, or literal zombies. They even dunk on George Clooney. First they have him played by Kevin Sorbo, then they imply they only cover topics that are "in the past" said topics are the nazis, mcathrisim, and racisim... all things that either still exist in some form (Racisim and Nazi Doctrune) or are still relevant as things like them still happen (Mcathrisim). The whole reason we have films covering the issues of the past... is because we keep repeating it. Trump plans to go after all his enmies if he wins again, is a white suprmacist and is extremley prejudiced. All of this is relevant and was at the time too: Racisim was still a thing in 2008, white supremacy existed. You can hopefully see at this point WHY watching this film is so agonizing: it's having a billgerent far right a hole scream in your ear for 93 minutes about how much you suck without being able to rebut because it's a movie, all while every point he makes is somehow dumber than the last and what points he does are drowned out by stupid, all while he calls you the biggest most naive son of a bitch who ever lived for daring to questoin war.

And the neccesity of war.. is the core of the film. Moorelone is hosting a "Ban 4th of July" rally. His nephew, whose in the military, objects to this when he finds out but was only coming to invite him to his fourth of july party. Moore is depectied as hating the troops.. which... is so factually inacurate, just going to the wikipedia page for Farenheit 9/11, something that took me all of a minute, shows Moore not only supports the troops but had the mother of a soldier who died in the doc and dedicated it to those who died in the september 11th attacks and the war.

Something the film dosen't grasp is you can hate war.. AND still be sympathetic to our troops. Our troops are not war mongering jackasses. Their, for the most part (As no group is perfect), well meaning people who want to help protect the country. Being military is something I can get behind. The comic strip doonesbury is what helped me get this view, and not only is it mostly liberal, it has tons of military as characters from one of the main cast BD who served from the Vietnam war to iraq before loosing a leg, to his best friend Ray, to Melissa, a vet overcoming the trauma of command rape and now a senator. Trudeau is liberal.. but isn't above showing opposing view points or showing the military.. as people. BD is a conservative, if thankfully the pre-trump kind, and a bit of an asshole, but his service is honored and the effects of coming home wounded on him are one of the series best character arcs.

People like me and Gary Trudeau objected to the war.. because it was for the wrong reasons. The Afghanistan war was just.. ineveitble. Al-Queda killed millions and were not going to stop and did it on us soil. We had to act. But Iraq.. is just bush using a horrible attack on our soil to justify a war he wanted his dad didn't finish. I'm not against proudly serving our country, but I am against an old man and the older man with a hand up his ass and thier various cronies sending those patroitc men and women to possibly die for a war that caused more problems than it solved. Afghanistan was necessary.. Iraq was the real problem.

Unsurprisingly, Zucker never brings up Iraq because it'd mean his argument would have to have "gasp" nuance! Oh the tribulation. His argument relies on the idea that the war on terror was necessary, but ignores the fact it could've been fought diffrent. That torture isn't necessary. That it's okay to not want a war against a country that was no threat to us (If still fucking awful), so civillians and our own military personnel don't die. It's something the right keeps horrifically forgetting: there are civilians. Civllians exist. It's how we got translators over there. War has a high bloody cost and has to be done only when necessary. I would LIKE for things to be settled peacefully, but in a world where most are out for their own self interest, that's not always an option. Sometimes war is a necessary evil.. but it's never a GOOD thing and it's okay to want it to end at some point. It's not okay to scream at people who don't want to just throw wave after wave of our own men at them.

So Kevin accidently walks into rock bottom as some comedy terrorists offer to bankroll his film and in this films eyes he's too stupid to realize the obvious. This terrorism subplot is tacked on as hell, both to hammer home the message that "terrorism is real" which

And opens the film with some antics the only one of which is funny is a workplace accident video about suicide bombing, which is such a dark concept it works. it's not the best, but it almost convinced me the film was good before it spent the next ten minutes screeching "GET IT I DON'T LIKE THAT MICHAEL MOORE GUY VERY MUCH. YA GET IT. YA GET IT YET. YA GET I DON'T LIKE MICHAEL MOORE"

The terrorists just feel kinda jammed into this movie, which is the feeling of a LOT of set pieces in this film. The film is trying to be a takeoff of a christmas carol.. but crams in a lot of shit besides it. Which in most films Zucker did worked. The plot was a thin framework to cram in jokes. Here this somehow has both too much plot, with the christmas carol a plot and the terroism b plot that crash together at the end that are only linked thematically, with tons of side trips and some ACLU zombie hunting. We'll circle back to that, trust me it's somehow even more nonsensical than it sounds. Yes that's possible.

So after half an hour in which micheal also meets with his agent whose played by James Woods who dosen't show up in the rest of the film for understandable reasons

And goes to an award show where he meets the terroists we get to his hotel room, where he idolizes Kennedy. The real Moore was an FDR fan, but at this point we can assume the only facts Zucker knew about Moore were "he's a liberal, I don't likes him, he's from michigan and

So John F Kennedy comes out of the screen to berate moore for forgetting the part of his "ask not what you can do" speech that advocated for war and decides he'll be visited over the next day or so by three spirits. Well in theory. In practice he's stalked by the Ghost of Patton for several days and the other two come in at the very end. Honestly.. you could've just done one. I woudln't of blamed you: while the three spirits thing is neat, if you just wanted one guy for both budget reasons and because he already fit as narrator, and because you could afford Kelsey Grammar more than you could John Voight or Country Music Man, there's no shame in that. There's a LOT of shame in this film, but simply wanting to do one spirit because the character fits the various scenarios better is fine by me.

So Moore spends the next day or so being haunted by Patton's ghost. He's played by Kelsey Grammar as I said, who dosen't really fit patton physically.. but he was conservative and agreed to be in this thing, so he was good enough and he DOES honestly give this film his best. Most of the acting is pretty meh and whoever they could get. Kelsey really is trying.. and that's with the fact he thought the film was too broad. The guy is fucked politically, but I give him credit for being one of the only two people who gave a shit.

Our lead... really dose'nt. Kevin Farley is the brother of chris farley and agreed to do this because "leading paycheck" and "he probably conservative." i'd assume. He is just .. loud. obnoxious and I don't fully blame him as he has nothing to work with, he dosen't do anything to convince me he'd be BETTER with less garbage material. Leslie Neilsen, likely doing a favor to and old friend and Kelsey Grammar kinda throw that into tier and Kelsey's role is crap, but he's at least trying as if the film wasn't and Nielsen is funny as always if not given enough to do.

So Patton takes Micheal to various set pieces, which i'll break down as we go as this is really just the film: Micheal goes to a set piece, ocasinally interacts with the b plot, goe sto another set piece. It FITS the formula of a christmas carol.. but also feels like that framework didn't fill the film enough so Zucker sticks in some random bs.

So we start with Malone at a war protest, with Malone declaring all war bad and advocating for peace talks, something that dosen't really work, but SHOULD be tried first. Patton takes him to see Neville Chamberlain... who is portrayed as a boot licking sycophant bending over to the nazi's who have plans to invade. All Kev had to do was show me Chamberlains' tv tropes page to call bullshit, all Zucker had to do to rethink this gag was go to wikipedia but at this point i'm not convinced he knew it existed and fi he did assumed it had some ancient curse that would turn him into a newt.

They also have Moore NOT KNOW WHAT A NAZI IS, as pointed out before but bears repearting. HE DOSEN'T KNOW WHAT A NAZI IS.

Patton takes him to see protests of world war II, using it because Pattonw as in that war.. and because Zucker dosen't want to use Vietnam, where we fucked up, or the Gulf War, which directly lead to the iraq war, so he uses the one where we yes, indeed HAD to fight because Hitler was indeed pure evil and a genocidal racist, homophobic, anti semetic and so many other things monster who was thankfully too dumb to actually win.

So when Micheal holds to his view no war is justified

Patton takes him to the present... where he now has slaves because the civil war never happened. SO we get a very UNCOMFORTABLE scene of David Alan Greir talking about how Micheal Moore rarely beats him. Slavery is bad, the civil war was necessary..

You also didn't have to embarss david alan grier with this bullshit. The guy did read the script I assume, but i'm sure he also assumed it'd get edited.. right.. right.. only to come to set dressed up as a slave and having to use a sterotype voice. Also Gary Coleman is here. He sure was here.

Patton next follows MIcheal to a campus rally claming they only watch his films because "their teachers told them too" and "he's the only liberal who can't get laid on a college campus"

He was popular and young idealistic liberals would eat that shit up. On the second part.. this film has weird obession with getting Michael Moore laid and i'm not here fo rit.

So it's here we get the indocrination song which has the biggest "i'm mad at my grandkids" energy of any musical number in film history. Seriously he , via Patton, accuses the college professors of having never left 1968, of brainwashing kids, and of "this is what their teaching your kids" instead of maybe that college is the first time a lot of young people get out of a conservative echo chamber. The internet's lessened that, thank god, but sometimes kids are opened up to the idea that maybe just maybe a lot of america's history sucks and the country is racist or that maybe we DIDN'T need an extra war to go with our war because Bush had daddy issues. I'm just.. so baffled by this "brainwashing" narrative when i'ts really just "your grandkids don't call because your an asshole pop pop" or "No dad, marrying a cat is not the same thing as two people of the same sex marrying each other"... that last one might've been just me. The song is catchy and COULD have had a point: that sometimes young people are a bit too gung ho in their actvisim and don't see the bigger picture. They often do, but sometimes when your a teen or in college, something i've gone through, you don't see the black and white of people's pollitics, why they might've voted that way. I've had many a conservative who were nothing but kind good people who just happened to vote for bush. Being conservative dosen't make you an asshole and sometimes it's easy not to see the shades of grey. Granted sometimes it also leaves you arguing with your dad over issues that feel obviously in your corner but they just can't accept, I may have issues, but sometimes people can disagree with you and not be a douchebag and that's hard to accept when some parts of the right are so fucking awful. It's a kind of empathy zucker wholly lacks in this film, the ablility to maybe see WHY liberals object to the war instead of

So we move on to an interview Moore has that day.. with bill o'reily.

Yeah sexual harasser, right wing asshole Bill O'Reily interviews Malone and Rosie O'Donnel... who is made into a 911 truther and nut. We get a way too fucking long sketch about her film where the christians are doing everything Al'Queda did GET IT BECAUSE TERRIOISTS ARE BOMBING. ALSO I ASSUME EVERY PERSON IN AFGHANISTAN IS IN AL'QUEDA BECAUSE I'M RACIST. When really O'Donnel is just really critical of the catholic church, pointing out their sex scandal and pointing out a lot of the supreme court is catholic. It's loud and reactionary.. but she's not wrong the catholic church is fucked up. Zucker is wrong to try and blame islam as a religion for a radical terrorist group, fuck him, which shoudl go without saying at this point but I need to say it to keep my sanity. If this review's been a bit more unhinged that's because every time I get a seconds respite in this flim, Zucker would throw out MORE bullshit that was obviously wrong but would then linger for several minutes.

Oh and as insult to injury O'reily says Moore is "more dangerous" because "People buy what he's selling".

So next Moore finds out their doing auditions for his film. The main terrorist...

Wants press passes he easily gets to bomb a Trace Adkins concert. If it sounds like the terroist film bombing plot is just kinda there.. it is. It absolutely is. It's just there to fill time and give us a climax when the climax.. should be Moore realizing the "error" of his ways. Again, flexible when it comes to a christmas carol adaptations, but come the fuck on. They gave you a pretty easy outline to follow and the runtime is not that long.

So Patton takes Moore to the past for the first time, to see what may of broke him. like a christmas carol he had a failed lost romance. Unlike it... it wasn't at all his fault. He left to go to college for a semester before dropping out, and came back to find his girlfriend dating his best friend and his best friend having joind the military. This is supposed to be why he hates war, but.. in that same flashback.. he already does. He already hated war, he already was on his way to being who he is now. It's just another chance to take pot shots at Moore's character by making him look like a looser.. which dosen't work because his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend who in his eyes betrayed their ideals.

Next is christmas july present, which is July 4th, where every one of his nephews kids hates Moore for never helping them with their medical bills.. which is fair but again WE GET IT. YOUR VERSION OF MICHEAL MOORE IS AN ASSHOLE. It's also one of the few funny jokes in the film.

Speaking of which, in the background, Leslie Neilsen has been narrating this film... to these kids... who were there. one of whom is atticus schafer from the middle and steven universe.

The narration bits.. are entirely tacked on and feel like Zucker wanted to get more Leslie in there, but couldn't convince him to do any of the henious shit. We do get a really great bit where, when the aclu song happens, everyone in the wraparound pauses in confusion but otherwise it's just kinda there. Neilsen gets a better cameo they should've just stuck to playing himself having been cast for Moores movie, running after two actors with a saber and coming back with blood on it before saying he dosen't do documentaries. We needed more of Leslie but at the same time i'm greatful they kept his hands clean. If not his sword.

So then Patton bursts in with an army of soldiers. he gives moore a helmet and takes him to the courthouse to fight the "real enemy", the ACLU. The ACLU are zombies because Grammar begged for the scene to be rewritten so he wasn't mowing people down for their belivies. The ACLU's crime is wanting them not to torture terrorists, give them actual rights, and for taking down the ten commandments. Dennis Hopper shows up in his final fiml role to try and teach micheal moore war is fun.

I said all of that as plainly as I could.. so you could fully grasp what the fuck just happened. All the take that's in this film are bad, but this one is horrific. Saying the ACLU is bad.. because they wante people to have human rights and don't want cops to randomly search bags because someone is of color. Yes these are enemy combatants, but it dosen't give us the right to jack bauer them to get info or commit general war crimes, a lot of which did happen. And in general given all the good work the ACLU do and how much of it is helping people of color and queer people, it comes off mildly racist to peg them as monster sneeding to be put down. Also Patton shoots a terrioist he wasn't sure was one exploding them because Zucker apparently thinks it's okay to shoot someone if you THINk they've done something wrong or their the aclu. As for what this has to do with the plot

So Zucker took TIME out of the film to have patton mow down the ACLU because they dare to ask we not torture people.

The good news is we're almost free as this film is way shorter than it felt, not helped by me having to pause it a LOT to take in what shit i'd just witnessed.

So Patton hasn't reached Malone because none of his tactics make any sense and it's clear Malone is a selfish asshat so he fosts him on George Washington, whose there for a minute, talks about freedom and does nothing of consequences before being confronted by the angel of death, played by trace adkins who shows him the future.

It's here we get one of the film's most obnoxious sequence which in a normal film would be it's worst, but we just saw patton murder the aclu so , that bar is a bit high to clear. So Christopher McDonald is in this..

Along with Zachary Levi, which given later revelations is'nt super suprising. They are going through the remains of those who died and find Micheal Moore's ass. They then proceed to talk about how fat he is, use his hat to mock him and put his dead ass on

Michigan was nuked thanks to Moore and hollywood is now Osamaland and moore is praised as helping their cause

What do I even say at this point I haven't already? Objecting to war dosen't mean supporting terrorist groups!

So i'm almost free of this mummy's curse as Moore realizes terrosim is real, and after getting slapped by Patton, JFK and Bill O'Reily, who sadly isn't a ghost but just likes slapping Michael Moore. So he goes to his ralley where Jimmy Carter's somehow got us troops to surrender, don't ask, and Moore says turns out war is good for you ti's good for me, and gets rescued from the insuing angry mob by vetrans and taken to the Trace Adkins concert. He's informed by the two comedy terriroists their boss is going to bomb the place, they dont' want to die and Moore gets on stage and the film bungles the christmas carol thing as Moore, at least this version.. . isn't a bette rperson. he's still an ass he's just.. pro war now? He finds the terroist, he wins the day.

So Moore goes off to wish his nephew off.. and kill his children with slapstick because again, he hasn't changed. Zucker is so petty he can't do the one thing a christmas carol does best: have a person change for better. One of the most famous parts of it besides the three spirits, which you also botched. moore makes a biopic about jfk, and i'm thankfully free. FREE DAMN YOU FREE.

This film sucks. I try to see the good in most things I review: It's usually easy because I usually review good stuff, but even when ti's bad or mediocre I like to try and find what's good. All this film has.. is a few good gag. It's a hateful rant rejecing the idea not all wars are necessary, it's mildly racist, extremley stupid and EXTTTTTTREEEEMLLLLLLLY pety. And you know the funniest thing? the film... didn't provoke moore. When Jay Leno played a clip, one of the JFK bits not one of the most insulting things, he just brushed it off and said "I hope it was funny" That's it. Moore honestly didn't give a shit and if he saw the film, he never bothered to react. It's the best way to beat a bully a lot of the time: you don't give them the attention they clearly wanted. It's funnier than the whole movie: that Zucker spent an entire movie yelling in the man's ear and he just..ignored it. All of this.. was for nothing. And that at least.. makes me smile.

Thanks for reading, happy 4th and to all our men , women and nb's in the armed forces.. thank you for your service.

[genuinerio]

CHAPTER II. The Weirdo On Maple Street.

She’s A Rainbow ↠ 「 STEVE HARRINGTON 」

PAIRINGS: Steve Harrington (eventual love interest), Jonathan Byers x sibling!OC, Joyce Byers x daughter!OC.

WARNINGS: the following mentions of both the usage and talk of drugs.

WORDS: 7, 203.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the gifs used nor original plot lines of Stranger Things however, I do own the storylines of my OC, Nadine. Italics are both Nadine’s thoughts and memories and third chapter for “Oh, Darling,” is in the works, thank you everyone for being patient. Also, I am extremely sorry for such a long wait as I had been very conflicted on a particular storyline of Nadine’s that happens in this chapter but since I could no longer decide on the storyline, I decided to scrap the whole thing and start over. Another thing is when it comes to my writing, I can be quite a perfectionist. Happy Stranger Things Day! Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading!

Monday, November 7th 1983.

WAKING UP TO A THROBBING SENSATION OF AN AWOKEN HEADACHE, Nadine who was stretching out her arms while she remained sitting up in bed, had begun to notice her picture frame; a picture containing of her and her family. It wasn’t Jonathan nor Joyce that she had noticed in particular but of her dear little brother, Will that her face immediately fell into glumness. Getting out of bed, Nadine grabbed a bottle of painkillers and carried on with getting ready for a new day. Looking around her bedroom, she had glanced at her Norman Whiteside poster, who was one of her favorite soccer players that she had received as a gift from her brothers and to whom was quite cute had she added. As she kept glancing away, she noticed her portraits, majority of them having her family as the subject for her artwork, her family being her biggest support whether it was with her art, her soccer team or simply grades. But this particular art piece, irked Nadine because it was one of Will that she had painted of him as he had modeled for her to paint.  

While changing out of her previous clothing and into new clothes, Nadine had kept thinking about her brother and where exactly he had gone. She couldn’t help but feel immense guilt based on the fact that if she hadn’t been busy that night, he wouldn’t had been missing.

This is all your fault, Nadine. Will is missing because of you and everything is all of your fault.

Trying to shake the toxic thoughts in her mind, Nadine had begun to carry on going downstairs only to foresee her mother and Jonathan sitting down to eat breakfast, “All right, Mom. Breakfast is ready.”

“What? No, be careful of the poster.” A distraught Joyce had commented to Jonathan. As Nadine carefully walked into the kitchen, understandingly not wanting to be there, she couldn’t help but feel awful for her mother’s current mental state.

“Yeah, okay. All right.” Jonathan had placed the breakfast plates in front of Joyce, “I can’t eat.” Jonathan had attempted to get his mother to eat, “I just need you to eat, Mom.”

“Listen. Listen, the Xerox place opens in, like, 30 minutes.” Her mother mentioned sniffling as Nadine sat down at the table. “Yeah.”

“And I don’t want you to go alone and I don’t think Nadine will be able to go with you since she has soccer practice.” Joyce had mentioned as Nadine forced herself to remain silent but nodded in acceptance, “No, we know. We told you, we got it.” Jonathan had mentioned as he and Nadine were aware of Joyce’s fear.

“So, I’m gonna have Karen take you, ‘cause I should be here.” Joyce had informed Jonathan as Nadine nodded her head, “Actually, I think I can go, instead. I’ll just explain to my coach that I have something else going on.”

“But Nadine, this game is really important for the team.” Joyce had tried to explain but Nadine cut her off trying to reason with her mother, “Yeah, but finding Will is way more important for us, for me.”

“Okay.”

“We need to make, what, 200, 300 copies? How much is a copy?” Joyce had asked both of her children, “Yeah, okay. Okay, Mom. Mom.”

“Ten cents? If we... ten cents-“ Joyce had begun to stammer as Nadine and Jonathan tried to calm her down, “Mom. Mom. Mom!”

“You can’t get like this okay?” Jonathan had advised as him and Nadine had comforted their mother as she begun to stutter, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No? It’s okay.” Both Jonathan and Nadine had stated, only for a knock on the door to remove them from the comforting of their mother, “We’ve been waiting six hours.”

“I know. I came as soon as I could.” Nadine immediately recognized that voice once she heard it, Hopper. “Six hours.”

“A little bit of trust here, alright?” Hopper had motioned as he shut the door once Nadine had walked carefully into the living room trying to get information but not being assumed to be eavesdropping. “We’ve been searching all night. Went all the to Cartersville.”

“And?” Her mother had asked, looking at least a little grimmer of hope that Will would be found, “Nothing.” The word that had caused Nadine to drop her head down in a complete distressed state.

“God.”

“Flo says you got a phone call?” Hopper had commented, trying to place Joyce’s mind on newfound faith, “Oh yeah.” Joyce had remembered throughout her sniffles as all four of them walked to the wallphone in the living room.

“Storm barbecued this pretty good.” Hopper had discussed as he held onto the burnt phone, “The storm?” Joyce had asked, believing the cause to be completely different. “What else?”

“You’re saying that, that’s not weird?”

“No, it’s weird.” Hopper had freely admitted, “Can we, like, trace who made the call?” Jonathan had asked as Nadine joined in, “Contact the provider? Or something-“

“No, it doesn’t work like that. Now, uh, you’re sure it was Will? Because Flo said you just heard some breathing.” Hopper had suggested but Joyce stood her ground and insisted as her voice began to break, “No. it was him. It was Will. And he was scared. And then something-“ Nadine and Jonathan both immediately began to comfort their mother.

“It was probably just a prank call. It was somebody trying to scare you.”

“Who would do that?” Jonathan had wondered, “Well, this things been on TV. It brings out all the crazies, you know. False leads, prank calls, uh...”

“No, Hopper, it was not a prank. It was him.” Joyce declared, believing she knew exactly what she heard but unfortunately, Hopper didn’t believe so, “Joyce.”

“Come on, how about a little trust here?” Joyce demanded of Hopper, “What, you think I’m...I’m making this up?”

“I’m not saying that you’re making it up. All I’m saying is it’s an emotional time for you.”

“And you think I don’t know my own son’s breathing? Wouldn’t you know your own daughter’s?” Joyce had declared in a fit of protest, something that had irked something in Hopper as Joyce continued to sniffle.

“You hear from, uh, Lonnie yet?” Hopper had asked in a moment of tension as he began to move into another position of the room, “No.”

“It’s been long enough. I’m having him checked out.” Hopper mentioned as he placed his sheriff’s hat on his head and began to walk outside, “Oh, come on! You’re wasting your time.” Joyce reacted as she sighed.

Nadine had swept her mother into a hug as she began to mumble comforting words and the fact that Will will be found soon as Jonathan followed Hopper outside, “Hey, Hopper. Hopper. Let me go.” Jonathan began panting walking up to Hopper’s police truck.

“I’m sorry?”

“To Lonnie’s. Nadine could overhear Jonathan’s plea as she heard his conversation with Hopper, “You know, if Will’s there, it means he ran away. And if he sees the cops, he’ll think he’s in trouble. He’ll.:. He’ll hide. You know, he’s good at hiding.”

“Yeah? Well cops are good at finding. Okay? Stay here with your mom and Nadine. She needs you, she needs both of you.”

As Jonathan had walked back into the house, Nadine had walked towards him, “Jonathan? Are you going to visit Lonnie?” Something that she immediately knew was true and despite the trauma that Loonie had put her through, she loved her dear brother and was willing to suck it up and find him at all costs.

“Yeah, want to come?” A nod of Nadine giving Jonathan a yes of confirmation because despite the two not being as close, Jonathan still believed that he should include Nadine in any searchings for Will because he is both their little brother and they care deeply for him.

As both Jonathan and Joyce had left for school and work, Nadine had opened the cabinet found within the kitchen only to find multiple bottles of medication. One in particular, her ADHD medication, something Nadine had been diagnosed with since she was a young girl considering her hyperactivity, easily distraction and infamously, her exaggerated emotional responses.

Despite advised not to over do it, Nadine when the girl ran out of various of drugs, like heroin or speed, she would turn towards popping multiple tablets of her ADHD medication as an exception of an excuse for a drug induced high.

Eventually, grabbing her backpack, Nadine had left to attend school; something that she had admitted to being awfully early to this particular morning than most of other times. Arriving to Hawkins high school, she was immediately greeted by her closest friends, Steve whom with being the kind friend he is had often walked her to her first period class considering the fact that he wanted to make sure she was alright.

Sitting throughout her first period class, Nadine couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmed with thoughts about Will and the guilt she placed over herself. This is all your fault, if you had stayed home that night, he wouldn’t have gone anywhere. Trying her best to control her mind to think about a different topic, she just couldn’t. The girl couldn’t help the heartbreak within herself as she processed the theories on where she and Jonathan could find, where they could possibly find him.

The ringing of the school bell had echoed throughout her brain had awoken her back to reality. “Nadine, I need to talk to you.” Gulping her breath at Mr. Carter’s words, Nadine slowly walked up to his desk, the girl hoped that it wasn’t anything nerve wracking because she was already going through so much as it was already.

“Nadine, you’re failing my class and I need you to begin to put the effort into your work.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Carter. I’ve just had been going through a lot, with my family and my brother’s disappearance with soccer practice...I-.” Trying to explain her reasoning of failing his class, Nadine was cut off.

“Nadine, now, I understand. Tell you what, I’ll give you an exception but please, catch up. Alright?”

His words had comforted her and she deeply needed this opportunity because she couldn’t let her family down. Her family was already going through so much and she didn’t want to put more stress on them than there already was.

“I have soccer practice after school and then after that, work but I guess, I could tell my coach that I need to take the time to study. I’m sure he’ll understand.” She was indeed correct, Particularly, Nadine’s coach was an understanding man and someone who Nadine had valued as a father figure besides Hopper of course, considering they were more like her father than Loonie ever was.

Attempting to wash her worries away, Nadine had started to play with her fingers as she walked into the school’s hallway. Walking towards her friendship circle but in a slower manner to collect her thoughts, she could overhear Steve mention to Nancy, “My dad has left town on a conference and my mom’s gone with him, ‘cause you know, she doesn’t trust him.”

“Good call.”

“So are you in?” Steve had asked to a confused Nancy, “In for what?”

“No parents? Big house.” Carol informed to Nancy, “A party?” A gullible Nancy questioned which had caused Nadine to want to stop and facepalm right in the middle of the school hallway.

“Ding! ding, ding!” Carol teasingly mocked as Tommy chuckled at the joke.

“It’s Tuesday.”

With Steve trying to convince Nancy to attend his house party despite her unawareness that they don’t care that it’s a weekday to throw a party. “It’s Tuesday! Oh my god.” She could hear Tommy mocking Nancy’s remark.

“Come on. It’ll be low key. It’ll just be us. What do you say? Are you in or are you out?” It was clear that Nancy would need to think about this situation a bit more.

Finding her friends including Nancy and Barb in the hallway, Nadine had quickly been alerted of a house party that Steve would host whenever his parents were out of town which was a lot. “Dean, Steve is throwing a party tonight since his parents aren’t home, you coming?” Carol had mentioned, calling Nadine out by her nickname that her closest loved ones would call her.

“Definitely!” Nadine was known to be quite the socialist, quite opposite to her twin brother who was a very introverted boy. Most people were surprised to find out that they were twins nor even related because their differences overpowered their similarities the two had shared. “But wait. I just realised I can’t!”

“What? Why not?” Both Steve and Carol questioned in unison, “I have ‘work shift’ tonight and I can’t call it off because my family and I really need the money. Even if my boss is a a fucking asshole.” Nadine applying air quotes to the words of the work shift because it wasn’t always a work shift but rather, her own personal hell but she couldn’t pass this up either unfortunately.

“Nadine. Your boss is full of shit, why do that to yourself? I’m sure that it won’t matter if you miss one shift. Besides, your boss is not really giving you a work shift but rather, his only way to take advantage because he likes to take advantage.” Tommy advised, which caused Nadine to roll her eyes. She was no doubt aware of this but she didn’t want to put anymore stress on her family than there already was already.

“Wow! Thanks Tommy, for such comforting words. Besides I know that, if my family finds out though, then I’m so screwed. My family is going through enough as it is.” Nadine’s sarcastic comment failed to give her a grimmer of comfort like it always had this time at least.

“I think I can attend afterwards but can we please talk about something else, please?” With those words, her wish was granted as Carol looked beyond her, “Oh, God. Look.”

A phrase that caused Nadine and her friends to turn around only to see that her friends were now placing all their attention into watching Jonathan as he plastered the “find Will” posters that him and Nadine had spent the previous night creating.

“Oh god. That’s depressing.” Nadine pressed her tongue to her cheek in a fit of anger. Despite her friend’s treatment to Jonathan, Nadine had vowed to never treat her brother in the way her friends do because despite them being at complete odds and regardless, he is still in fact her brother and that’s something that will never change whatsoever.

“Should we say something?” Nancy asks while giving a quick glance at Nadine, “I don’t think he speaks.” Shaking her head at the annoyance, Nadine mentioned to Carol, “Fuck off.”

“How much you want to bet he killed him?” Tommy’s words is what immediately enraged Nadine as she clenched her jaw but tries to remain silent in a calming manner but that does not stop her from speaking in a furious state, “Shut up!” Steve motioned.

“Fuck you Tommy, I will beat the shit out of you if another word comes out of your mouth like that again!” Her words causing Tommy to raise his hands up.

A tensed up and protective Nadine had mentioned, something that her friends may have not gotten an answer to but Nancy was surely aware of that statement considering she was aware of the girl being a Byers child as Tommy raised his hand in a supposed defenceless manner.

Despite her strained relationship with her twin brother, Nadine no doubt still cared deeply for her family and still defended them too particularly Jonathan whom her friends would pick on.

Holding her binders in her arms, Nadine had decided to ditch her friends in order to help her brother in posting find me posters onto every place and every wall they can find only to notice that Nancy was following closely behind her.

Standing close by to Jonathan, she took some posters of Will and assisted him in plastering them as she heard Nancy, “Hey.”

“Oh, hey.”

As Nadine could overhear Nancy trying to make conversation with Jonathan, she couldn’t help but think that despite her dislike of Nancy, this would make Jonathan’s day especially since he’s harbored a crush on her since childhood, “I just…I wanted to say, you know, um…I’m sorry about everything.” As Jonathan and Nancy glanced back at Steve, Carol, Tommy and Barb.

“Everyone’s thinking about you. You too, Nadine.” As much as Nancy tried to make nice with her words, Nadine despised pity and constant sympathy and would rather just ignore it altogether despite people deeming her as heartless and not caring about anyone but herself.

“It sucks.”

“Yeah.” Jonathan sadly said as him and Nancy stared at one another.

“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s a smart kid. She could overhear Nancy reassure Jonathan alongside herself but the conversation between the two was interrupted by the school bell ringing.

“I have to go. Chemistry test.” Nancy had chuckled in explanation.

“Yeah.”

“Good luck.” The girl had hoped for them both.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, Nadine!” Overhearing and recognizing the voice of one of her teammates on the school’s soccer team, Marlee which caused the blonde to turn her head.

“Hey, Marlee! What’s up?” Marlee was a teammate and classmate that Nadine was close with and among the nicest of their team, some were also nice but not as much as Marlee.

“We’re going to meet at the gym, this time at 3:30. Don’t be late because coach Johnson will be scolding.” Her teammate had teased but Nadine had just remembered, “Shit! I can’t! I have something to do today plus work.”

“But, what about our big game? You’re one of our best players and among coaches favorites plus practice means a lot to the team.” Marlee had tried to get Nadine to reconsider to no avail.

“I know, but, what I have to do is more important. I tried to telling him but could you because I couldn’t find him?”

“Yeah, sure.” Marlee nodded as the two shared a hug in reassuring, “Thanks! You’re the best.”

Glancing at Marlee and Nancy walking away, she noticed Steve was waiting for her, “Come on, Nadine!”

“I can’t, I got to go.” She could tell Steve didn’t quite understand what she meant, “Don’t worry. I’ll see you later!”

As she turned back to Jonathan and overhearing over the intercom, “At 8:00 pm. tonight, there will be an assembly on the football field. In support of Will Byers and his family. All are encouraged to attend. Volunteer sign-ups for search parties are still available in the office.”

Hearing that caused Nadine to subtly shake her head, as much as she loved her brother, she hated the once again feeling over people constantly comforting her. Her and Jonathan left the school and went on their way to their estranged father, Lonnie’s household.

Silence within sitting in the car with Jonathan on their destination to Lonnie’s as she fiddled with the radio felt uncomfortable to Nadine, the eldest Byers children didn’t have much in common like they used to nor discussed greatly either, the two were simply on completely different pages and paths now. Despite how badly, Jonathan wanted to deny, he felt Nadine was now, one of those jerks that consisted of Steve and their shared friends.

Looking up and glancing at one another before staring down as the song, “Should I Stay or Should I Go,” began to play on the car’s stereo. The song from The Clash had embarked a shared sweet memory between the two and their little brother. A bittersweet feeling of reminiscing about said memory brought a smile to Nadine’s lips.

She remembered, walking inside her home after a long tiresome shift and on her way to her bedroom, Nadine felt she was over it. Since, her room was after Will’s he noticed her heading towards it but called out as he was listening to a song with Jonathan. “Nadine, over here.”

The lyrics from the song echoing throughout the hallway, “Should I Stay or Should I Go.”

Will had called out as him and Jonathan were listening to “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” And he wanted his sister to join them. “What’s up?”

“Listen to the song with us.” As much as she was exhausted from her shift, she still enjoyed hanging out with her family, especially Will as they were all very close family. In doing this, she joined.

Walking into and sitting in his room, she noticed Will and Jonathan bobbing their heads, a clear sign of them enjoying the song. Jonathan questioned, “You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s cool.” Will had confirmed, “What do you think, Dean?”

“It’s one of my favorites. Definitely.”

Responding back to their brother, “All right, you can keep the mix if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. All the best stuff’s on there. Joy Division, Bowie, Television, The Smiths. It’ll totally change your life.”

“Totally.”

Nadine had agreed as she pointed out, “Bowie and Joy Division are the best though. You’ll enjoy them in particular among the others too.”

In an uncomfortable position, they could overhear their mother faintly, “Where the hell are you, Lonnie?”

Joyce muttered indistinctly, “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear it.”

Noticing her brother’s sad expression, she sat on his bed and attempted to comfort him, “Don’t be sad.” She had motioned for Jonathan to shut the door, “This is ridiculous! I’m so sick of your excuses.”

The music continued to play but as they stayed inside, Jonathan lowered the volume. “He’s not coming, is he?” Will’s questioning of them both caused Nadine and Jonathan to share a glance, “Um, let’s not talk about that.”

“Do you even like baseball?”

Will had denied, “No, but… I don’t know. It’s fun to go with him sometimes.”

Nadine had asked, “Come on. Has he ever done anything with you that you actually like?” Jonathan had added on, “Yeah, you know, like the arcade or something?”

Will tried to recall, “I don’t know.”

Nadine had insisted, “No, all right? He hasn’t. He’s trying to force you to like normal things.” In stating this, Jonathan had added on advising, “And you shouldn’t like things because people tell you you’re supposed to. Okay?” A nod in agreement had pointed towards Nadine’s similar thought, “Especially not him.”

“And Will, there’s nothing wrong with liking the games at the arcade or playing Dungeons and Dragons.” Nadine had encouraged, “And hey. I’ll play it with you once I get home. I may not be as good as you or Mike, Lucas and Dustin though.” She could tell Will had appreciated her offer and could see him taking up the possible offer at some point.

Turning the conversation, Nadine had asked, “But you like The Clash? For real.”

“For real. Definitely.” Will’s confirmation had made Nadine smile, another thing that they’d all enjoy together as siblings. Raising the volume of the stereo, they all started listening and enjoying the music once again.

Removing themselves from the memory was the time, they finally arrived at Lonnie’s neighborhood. “You see his house anywhere?” Breaking the silence, Jonathan had asked as they glanced out of the car window in search of his home, “Not yet.”

Stopping on the side of the road, they made it to their father’s home. Nadine couldn’t help but feel a tad overwhelmed, she no longer had a somewhat good relationship with Lonnie anymore and was a bit nervous to see him, This is it. She had thought. With the two walking up to his front door, Jonathan had peeked into the front room as they could overhear music playing, echoing through the house. Sharing a gaze, Nadine had knocked.

They could hear footsteps walking towards them and a voice, “Yeah?” Opening the front door, the woman noticed the two, “Can I help you?”

“Uh, yeah. Is Lonnie around?” Nadine replied first, “Yeah, he’s out back. What do you guys want?”

“To look around.” Not caring about approval and just wanting to look for their little brother, the two stormed inside, “Hey, what do you guys think you’re doing? Hey!”

“We’ll be fast.”

“You take this side, I’ll take this one.” Nadine told Jonathan as they searched calling out, “Hey, Will? Will!”

“Will, you here? Will!” Banging on the door and searching every room in the hallway, Nadine was surprised when hearing a grunt. Jonathan was held against the wall with Lonnie near by. “Get off!”

“Damn, you’ve gotten stronger.” In a realization, Lonnie had observed not only that Jonathan wasn’t as easy to push around but also, that his little girl, Nadine was there. With perceiving him coming towards her, Nadine denied, “Don’t touch me.”

Wanting answers between all three, the woman asked, “Will someone please explain what the hell is going on?”

Lonnie had announced in introducing, “Jonathan, Nadine, Cynthia. Cynthia, this is Jonathan and Nadine. My two oldest.”

“Come here.” Her father tried in an attempt with a hug but she nor Jonathan were having it, “Get off us, man.”

Wondering around Lonnie’s new home, she took a look at all these he had in the living, the stereo, the photographs and the alcohol. Besides a huge amount of usuals within drugs, there were many times that Nadine also had drank alcohol especially with her friends, seeing most times as an alternative substitute when she ran out of drugs.

“Jonathan, Nadine, let me show you something.” Lonnie called out, the two were both a bit unsure with following him but did so, nonetheless. He showed them his new car, “Take a look at this beaut. Should’ve seen it when I got it. Took me a year, but it’s almost done.”

Once Lonnie caught a glimpse at Jonathan opening his trunk, he asked, “Really? Want to look up my ass, too?” Rolling her eyes, Nadine understood Jonathan’s reasoning to do so, “There’s no harm in looking, is there?”

“I told you both, the same thing as I told those cops, he’s not here and he never has been.”

“Then why didn’t you call Mom back?”

“I don’t know, I just… I assumed she just forgot where he was. You know, he was lost or something.” Scoffing as his excuse, “Bullshit! Mom would never forget where any of us where.”

Ignoring his daughter’s response, Lonnie told, “That boy never was very good at taking care of himself.”

“This isn’t some joke, alright?” Jonathan pointed out, “Yeah, I mean, there are search parties, reporters.”

“Hopper’s not still chief, is he?”

“Tell your mother, she’s gotta get you both out of that hellhole. Come out here to the city. People are more real here, you know? And then, I could see you both more.”

Neither of them believed any of Lonnie’s words, he didn’t give two shits about either, “What, you think I don’t want to see either of you?”

“We know you don’t.”

“See, that’s your mother talking right there. Does she even know both of you are here?” Their silence confirmed his suspicions, “Oh great. So one kid goes missing, the other two run wild? I believe that about Nadine, but not you, Jonathan. But that’s some real fine parenting right there.”

“You know what, fuck you! Since when do you suddenly care about us and about being a fine parent, anyway?” Nadine suggested as she mockingly chuckled to which Lonnie heard, “Look, all, I’m saying is, maybe I’m not the asshole, all right?”

“Here! In case you forgot what he looks like.” Nadine shoved a have you seen me poster of Will to Lonnie’s chest, “Let’s go, Dean.”

On the car ride back to Hawkins, Nadine numerous thoughts throughout it all. The blonde haired with hazel eyes girl had felt like her past and mistakes overall were coming back to haunt her. She hadn’t mentioned this to anyone but the past few days that Will had been missing, she had been dreaming of him.

“Nadine, Nadine!” The Byers girl felt a shake which snapped her out of her head’s mind. A confused glance on her face proved to Jonathan how engrossed she was in her thoughts, her own little world, “Huh?”

“We’re here.” She fluttered her eyes while raising her head as Jonathan pointed to the building of her workplace. Letting out a groan, remembering that her shift starts in just minutes from now.

Huffing in annoyance when the thought of her boss came up as she stared at the sign that read, Bradley’s Big Buy which was a supermarket in the small town of Hawkins. As much as she appreciated the money that she received from this particular job since it not only would help her mother and the rest of her family but support her addiction and supply her with drugs. However, she hated her coworkers, specifically the male ones since they were so grossly disgusting.

“Let me know if you need a ride home.”

Nodding at Jonathan’s words, she took her bag, turned around and walked inside as Jonathan drove off. The coworkers had acknowledged her presence, “Hey Nadine.” But the girl paid no mind as she wanted to finish her work shift and make it to Steve’s party in time. After working for an hour with stocking items, a coworker to which Nadine remembered his name was Thomas was standing in front of her holding a broom.

“Here.” Handing her the broom as she stopped, “You sweep the floor. This is a women’s job, anyway.” The tone in his voice let alone his sexist words left such a sour taste in Nadine’s mouth that resulted in a clear disgusted reaction, “You can do something else to clear your time. With me, doll.”

“I’ll pass.” Feeling defeated, Nadine accepted her fate. She didn’t even want to work today but she knew it was the best thing, her family needed the money let alone the fact that they were going through such a devastating time and it distracted her from the disappearance of Will.

Eventually with noticing the clock ticking and getting closer to the time of Steve’s party as well as the sun going down, she realized that her shift was coming to a close. Nadine headed to the back room as she prepared to grab her things before realizing that Thomas’s backpack was open as well as the fact that his wallet was there in an open area for anyone to take.

Well, just do it! Payback for what he did.

In his wallet was a two hundred dollars, she knew that it would help get her another supply of drugs. In no more hesitation, Nadine took the money and put it immediately in her bag as she turned around, said her goodbyes for the day and walked outside.

Outside was a pay phone near by to the store and with remembering Jonathan’s words, she called to no unfortunate avail with a huff, Nadine thought of another person to call. Steve.

Dialling the numbers and tapping her foot on the concrete, she hoped that he would answer and after a few rings, he did. Thank god.

“Hello?” An uncertain tone in his voice as he was unsure who was calling, “Hey, Steve.”

“Oh hey, Dean. What’s up?” Steve felt more comfortable in his response considering he knew who he was exactly talking to now. “Nothing much. Um, I was wondering, could you give me a ride?”

“Yeah, sure. Where are you?” The boy agreed with no second thought.

“I’m outside of Bradley’s Big Buy.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He assured, “Sorry, my brother and I carpooled today and he has the car.” Nadine began, “He’s not answering and I don’t know where he is.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Steve was a very understanding and sweet friend when it came to Nadine as he would help her with whichever problem she had and would consistently come to her defense, everyone would typically tease him with nicknaming her as her knight in shining armour.

The two were always believed to be more than what they actually were and for the first time that year, the people might’ve actually been correct as Steve and Nadine had shared a kiss which ultimately led to questions, assumptions and eventually denial.

In realizing that their accidental romantic interaction was a pure mistake, Nadine had decided to ignore it and pretend it never happened which perhaps hurt Steve more than he led on considering their unexplained feelings for each other. He had chose that the best choice for himself was to move on which he had by engaging in a relationship with goody two shoes, Nancy Wheeler.

To say that Nadine wasn’t as equally disappointed with Steve’s decision would be a lie but the girl was able to hide her feelings more easily and in pretending that she wasn’t badly affected by his choice. She was hesitant of Nancy but still remained a supportive friend.

Nadine decided to make a quick stop to the local store nearby in order to distract herself as she waited for Steve. Strolling along through the lonely aisles, she grabbed herself a pack of cigarettes and a beer while also making a short conversation. Because, she was known to be a frequent customer and the guy who owned the store liked her, he had no issues with her purchasing substances despite the high chance risk it could cause.

By the time that she was done, Nadine had noticed Steve’s car in the street. Immediately thanking him for giving her a ride as they headed towards his to hangout along with their mutual friends, “Thanks, Steve. I owe you. I just.”

Nadine had tried to explain her train of thoughts but it felt too hard to explain, “My brother said he’d give me a ride once I called but nobody’s answering back home.”

“Don’t worry about it. Hey, how come I’ve never met your brother before?”

Trust me, Steve. You’ve met him, alright!

Her eyes had widen, the girl felt so trapped. What was she going to say? Yeah, it’s Jonathan, the guy you and Tommy constantly tease.

“Oh, um.” Nadine hoped that she could find a way out of this conversation and to come up with an excuse but eventually deciding upon a half truth. “We’re not that very close.” To be fair, it wasn’t a lie considering her and Jonathan were no longer that close like everyone refuses to accept especially their mother.

Before Steve could answer any more questions, Nadine was thankful to point out that they finally arrived at Steve’s home in which Nadine ran outside to greet her other friends. In the backyard, she could overhear rock music playing.

Grabbing a beer, she headed outside to Steve’s backyard to catch up with her friends despite it only being a few hours since school, “Hey, Nadine!”

In trying to rid herself of the guilt and shame that she felt towards herself because Nadine couldn’t help in blaming Will’s disappearance upon herself. She truly felt like if she had been there that night, nothing would have happened.

The sound of Carol shrieking as Tommy carried her above the pool, teasing her as if he was going to drop her in while he counted, “One! Two!” Had removed her from her thoughts, “Dean! I need some help here! Should I drop her in?”

Tommy had asked Nadine before he continued on to which she playfully smirked, jokingly saying, “Why not?”

“Nadine!”

“Three!” With a chuckle, Tommy carried on as Carol warned, “Stop it, Tommy, no! Don’t!”

Tommy laughed, “You’re such an asshole, Tommy.” Carol had mentioned as she pushed him. “And you.” Carol pointed towards Nadine, “You shouldn’t have told him!”

Nadine had raised her hands in an apologetic manner despite her and Tommy sharing a laugh in unison over the manner.

Seeing Steve opening a can of beer, she alluded to him, “I’m going to need more than one, Steve. I had the worst shift.”

“Yeah, coming up.” Steve went back inside, bringing more cans of beer out.

“Your boss giving you problems?” Carol had asked, initiating an all too familiar topic, “When is he not?”

“Why don’t you just quit?”

“I can’t.” Nadine struggled to find the words, “Even if I wanted to, it’s just not a good time. My family is going through a lot right now.” A statement to which only Nancy was well aware in what she meant.

Thankfully, Steve had brought Nadine her beer by this point. She watched him as he quickly drank his beer to the neck in which she noticed seemed to make Barb uncomfortable. Nancy, however was impressed.

“Harrington, let’s make a challenge.” Something that surely got Carol and Tommy all riled up, “Uh, I don’t know.”

Steve was uncertain, Nadine teased him, “Why? Pussy?” The girl’s words an attempt to get him interested as Steve shrugged, not caring about her words. Nadine was someone who could at times be very competitive when she wanted to be and this was her moment.

Nancy nor Barb didn’t notice the flirtatious behavior between the two but Tommy and Carol, whom were both good friends with the pair definitely did.

“Fine.” Guilted into the peer pressure of his friends, Tommy and Carol tracked them once the two each got a can of beer. “And I win!”

Steve exhaled as he came into second place, Nadine laughed as she sat down on the chair next to Steve’s, “Is that supposed to impress me?” Nancy had asked Steve as he sat down with his cigarette in his lips, “You’re not?”

“You are a cliché, you do realize that?” Nancy had remarked in a response. “You are a cliché.” Noting as Steve continued while lighting his cigarette, “What with your grades, and your band practice.”

With a laugh, “I’m so not in band.”

“Okay, party girl. Why don’t you just, uh, show us how it’s done, then?” Once Steve placed his lighter down, Nadine grabbed it to light her own cigarette as she mumbled, this is exactly what I needed to herself.

Steve handed the knife to Nancy as she agreed to prove upon him, “Okay.” Standing up, he had preceded to give her directions, “You gotta make a little hole right in.” Not giving him a chance to finish his sentence, Nancy cut him off, “I got it.”

“Yeah, she’s smart, you douche!” Tommy, who was cuddling Carol had said in defending Nancy as she cut a hole, Nadine was surprised that Nancy was at this party, let alone chugging a beer despite her relationship with Steve as she was always someone who was a “good girl.”

“Chug, chug, chug.” They all chanted, the friends all laughing and whooping in unison as Nancy threw the beer she just finished. Nancy just barely noticing her deserted friend had asked her, “Barb, you wanna try?”

“What? No.” The wary redhead denied, instantly. Nadine understood since she always saw Barb as very introverted, “No, I don’t want to. Thanks.”

“Come on.” Trying her best to convince her friend, Steve joined in, “Yeah. Come on. Yeah.”

“Nance, I don’t want to.”

“It’s fun! Just give it a.” Barbara cut her off, “Nance.” But despite how many times she’d deny, Nancy still tried, “Just… Just give it a shot.” Giving her a beer can, “Okay.”

Barb stood up, holding the knife and preparing to cut a hole, “So, you just…” Tommy had chuckled, “Gnarly.” In which Nadine mumbled, “Shut up.”

“Are you okay?” Nancy questioned as Barb had accidentally cut herself with the knife, “Do you need us to bandage that up?”

“Yeah.” Barb excused the cut, in what Nadine believed was a way to make it seem as not bad of an issue, “Barb, you’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Oh, it’s… it’s uh, down past the kitchen, to the left.”

Steve showing Barbara inside on where to go, “Okay, thanks.”

Nadine brought her cigarette to her lips as her friends chuckled, as if this wasn’t a big deal, “Oh.”

The smoke from her cigarette exhaling throughout her mouth, she recalled, “This is the good life.” The girl was at a high chance of being intoxicated but she didn’t want anyone knowing that.

Carol and Tommy chuckled at her words before Tommy randomly pushed Carol who was standing by the pool nearby in as she screamed.

“Oh my god! What the hell, Tommy?”

Nancy and Nadine both couldn’t help themselves in laughing as Carol continued to yell, “No!” Once Tommy jumped in.

Nancy shrieked as Steve pushed her in, “Whoo!”

“Dean, you’re next!” Nadine pleaded with Steve as she tried to convince him otherwise as he tried to trick her into thinking he wouldn’t but yet he did push her in, “Steve!”

Jumping in himself, Tommy laughed. Nadine laughed as Steve came near, pretending to give him a piggyback ride while in the pool.

Eventually, after some time in the pool, they all decided to leave the pool and head inside as Steve handed Nadine a towel as she shudders, “I’m freezing.” Carol noted, “Me too.”

“Hmm… well, I hear his mom’s room has a fireplace.” Tommy remembered as he walked upstairs, “Are you kidding?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Okay, well, you know, you are cleaning the sheets.” Steve had advised the two. “You both all right?”

“Yeah.” Her and Nancy said in unison. “Steve, you mind if I take a shower?”

Steve shook his head no to inform Nadine that he had no issues, “Come on, let’s get you some dry clothes. You can borrow some too, Dean.”

Mumbling a thanks, Nadine headed upstairs but despite no longer being around them, she could still overhear the conversation between Nancy and Barb. “Nance.”

“Barb. I’m fine.”

The words that struck her is when Barb told Nancy, “This isn’t you.” Those words were burned into her mind, she could remember the time when Jonathan said those words to her. He always believed that Steve was the time she became someone new, someone he didn’t recognize especially considering they were so close as children.

She let the water run over herself, Nadine had various things running through her mind, Will being the main one. The girl hoped this party would distract her from her troubles but she isn’t so sure and as of now as she stares in the mirror, she’s unsure if she recognizes the person that she is.

Changing into Steve’s hoodie and sweatpants, Nadine decides to leave earlier than usually. Not wanting to cause a scene or interrupt, Nadine heads out back to which she comes across Barb. A mysterious noise that sounded like the mixture of a growl and shriek echoes throughout the backyard to which Nadine wonders, “Where’s Barb?”

Maybe, she just went home.

[fizzarollitm]

contd. @rollinpinwheel ; Fizz's no good very bad day @ Loo Loo Land

Days at LooLoo Land where an unfortunate obligation outlined in his contract with Mammon. He smiled in the parade, sang the stupid theme song, and posed with fans before hitching it back to Lust before sundown. All routine and all within the confines of his comfort staying the fuck away from the rickety robot with his face.

There had always been something off about the model. Whenever Fizzarolli had to pose with him there was a tension; his eyes too wide and aware, the smile twisting metal that made his stomach churn. But he was a moneymaker. Made more green entertaining people's kids than the ones you could stick your dick into...which meant he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

It had been an especially rough day of getting groped, pulled, poked, and spat on by fans and their parents. He had seen enough milf tits to last a lifetime and pulled away after the tenth accidental flash for a break in the employee's only area. He had pulled out the pack when something slithered up his leg knocking the air, lighter, and phone out of him. He tasted mud, booze, and something sweet, hands grabbing for anything to ground himself with. He saw a load supporting beam of steel, or something close to steel, for one of the rides and made for it before another arm trapped him in place. His prosthetics whined as they tried their best to follow the electrical pulse in his connector but he had to stop worried he'll blow out the machinery.

They were made for juggling, not this.

And then out of the gloom came the fucker himself. Fizzarolli stopped struggling, too shocked by what he was seeing. The bot laughed at him, jeered at him, using his own fucking voice. The bells on his hat jingled as he went upside down getting a full show to that awful mouth twisting into a grin obviously taking pleasure in this. The way it sneered around rat and at the mention of cage Fizzarolli's lashed out—

" Let me go you fucking asshole. " He glared up [ down ? ] at him, refusing to give it the fear it wanted. " I'll have you decommissioned. You'll be used for spare fucking parts when I'm done with you. " Someone will come. Someone will look for him. Someone will notice he's gone because he is the biggest face in Hell and this was nothing more than an unfortunate copy. No one will miss a xerox—