#superman cave

[mel-kusanagi]

they just met btw

[frownyalfred]

I like to headcanon that Wayne Manor in BVS is in ruins because Alfred pulled the whole “stop this vigilante nonsense or I’m leaving” thing with Bruce (a la The Dark Knight’s Alfred) and Bruce just said “bet” and then continued to work, sleep, and be a vigilante in an empty, unstaffed Wayne Manor until eventually he simply moved to the lake house and let it decompose. And guess who was hanging out in the lake house the whole time spying on Bruce from afar? Alfred. Who moved all of a half mile away and was spending his time watching Bruce eat nothing but shelf stable protein shakes and sleep on a thin cot in the Cave. Who realized, mid covert hovering, that Bruce Wayne had inherited his stubbornness from both his parents and would, indeed, continue to try and do this with or without Alfred’s presence. And so….he stayed.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 295

So, maybe Danny should have been more specific when he said he wanted to get reincarnated, because this? Is not an ideal situation. 

See he’s fine with being a clone, really, but uh, apparently the scientists want to terminate him- which, like dude, he’s not even melting or actively dying! So what if he failed at their tests, his body is three, give him a break! 

Well, at least it’s given him certainty in getting out, because these are Not good people. He wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt and- hold up, another clone? Brother? Two brothers? One aged up, one in the middle of it- since his own aging-up failed past three? 

Oh hell no, they can’t experiment on his brothers, those are his brothers and living people just as much as he is! Time to break out- and he’s taking those papers thank you- and gonna’ grab his… he’s gonna’ call them his triplets because they’re the same age, just aged differently. 

Now hold his hand, they’re runnin’ to the mountai- oh thank fuck, the physically-oldest of them can fly. To the mountains while they have the cover of night and they can figure things out. At least his life isn’t boring yet…

[violent138]

Bruce: "One second I'm going to open up the files and show you."

Clark, wincing at the bright lights: "You okay if I turn some of this off?"

Bruce: "Go for it. Okay so here-- *bats rustle above and Bruce freezes, slowly glancing up* --uh, here you can see the evidence from the blast."

Clark, touching the screen: "There, that's what I saw at the crime scene. Is that from the shrapnel or something else? Bruce?"

Bat flaps overhead and Bruce flinched a little, distracted: "Huh?"

Clark: "Are you-- how can you still be afraid of bats?"

Bruce: "I'm not afraid of bats." *more chattering and flapping and Bruce nearly ducks* "For fuck's-- Clark, does it sound like they're closer to us now? Stop laughing."

[vinelark]

i don’t remember if i ever shared this here, but a while ago i posted a little twitter thread about bats and gas station snacks and some very talented podficcers made a podfic of it! 🎧

[podfic] Jersey Vigilantes Don't Pump Gas by isweedan & reena_jenkins

original thread (text under the cut):

nested tweet reading: ever since i learned gotham is supposed to be in new jersey i can’t get this concept out of my head: [a badly drawn bumper sticker that says “jersey vigilantes don’t pump gas”] / quote tweet reading: the batmobile can’t just slip in and out of a gas station unnoticed. an employee HAS to go fill up the tank. meanwhile the tired night shift cashier knows the various robin eras because they come in to buy different snacks as time goes on.

one night while the manager is out filling *the literal batmobile* the cashier blinks and comes face to face with a child in a leotard and green boots, buying a pack of twizzlers. “thanks!” the first robin calls, somehow vaulting over two rows of shelves on his way out the door.

years later, after a stretch of quiet weeks, a new, curly-haired robin comes in and grabs a bag of flamin hot pepper puffs. the cashier doesn’t even think robin 2 actually likes them, but he looks really satisfied with himself every time he drops them on the counter.

(even after the second robin abruptly stops coming in, the cashier keeps slipping flamin hot pepper puffs onto their order list. no one else ever buys them, but it just—feels like the thing to do, somehow.)

a stretch of months without a robin, oddly tense. then the third robin appears, even smaller than the first two. he slips inside and buys a cup of black coffee and drains it in one go right at the coffee station, nervously eyeing the door like he’s afraid he’ll be caught.

the fourth robin, when she shows up, makes a beeline for the protein bars. finally, the cashier thinks, someone remotely sensible for this line of work. (though maybe not sensible enough—or maybe TOO sensible—because small caffeine robin is back a few months later.)

the fifth robin, when he first appears, approaches the counter. “you will direct me to the best snacks new jersey has to offer,” he tells the cashier.

“uh,” the cashier says. “i like sour patch kids, myself.”

robin 5 nods. “i will take a bag of sour patch children.”

(one night, not much later, red hood strolls through the door. the cashier has lived in gotham for over a decade now; they barely blink, even when nightwing bounds in after him.

“oh, shit, flamin hot pepper puffs,” red hood says. “i haven’t had these in ages.”

“aw, come on,” nightwing says, already holding a pack of twizzlers. “no one else can stand those.”

“why do you think i got them in the first place, dickhead?” red hood says. “to fend off new jersey’s number one snack thief.” and he buys buys every bag in stock.)

[laswells-wife]

Bruce: wanna take this up to the bedroom?

Clark, happily: why, what’s up there :D

Bruce: did you bring protection?

Clark, now worried: why what’s up there? D:

[massivetittiesandwarcrimes]

Since Clark is from the midwest, do you guys think he's ever brought puppy chow to the watchtower as a gift during the holidays or snack for parties or something, and just thoroughly confused 90% of his friends?

I mean, just picture Batman - Bruce Wayne, ultra-wealthy nepo baby from New Jersey raised by a British man - being presented with a bag of something called puppy chow by an excited and smiling Superman, and just... Having no idea how to respond.

Does he think Superman is an alien who is new to Earth, and has somehow confused animal food with human food? Or if he does know who Clark is, does he think this is some kind of joke; it's not his usual approach, but if Bruce had pissed him off lately I could see Batman being paranoid and thinking Clark is trying to use the alien excuse as a way to make him eat dog food as some kind of punishment.

Even most of the human born metas would probably be a little bit confused, because it very much is a Midwestern thing, and the comics are constantly moving the different cities around, so as far as I am aware, Clark Kent is the only superhero guaranteed to have grown up in the Midwest.

[hanzajesthanza]

my attempts to avoid thoughts of geralt's hanza continue to fail, as sapkowski talks about them in front of my face.

(from manuscript, on the subject of the hero and the quest):

On this expedition, the Hero (Simple or King) is accompanied by others who are stereotypical-canonical fantasy characters, in other words - clichés:

Wizard-Mentor (the aforementioned MERLIN, Obi-wan Kenobi, Gandalf, Allanon, Belgarath, Sephrenia or Moiraine, who supports the hero with advice and help); Faithful Servant (in the case of the King, literally, in the case of the Simple, rather a childhood friend, Sam Gamgee. He serves the plot to recite wise folk maxims and prove that the simple people are the most morally healthy; or to save the ass of his master/friend where magic and a sharp sword will not help, and common sense and a strong, faithful arm will suffice). Good Knight (charismatic LANCELOT, always loyal and ready to fight, sometimes with some dark secret in his life); Worse Knight (always with some dark secret in his life, ambitious like Boromir, in the clutches of Evil, secretly collaborates with Evil, regrets betrayal, undergoes catharsis, perishes); Trickster - Conniver (see LOKI in "Materia Magiczna"**), cheerful, but can cause trouble, which attracts like a magnet; Damsel in Distress, who is saved from danger on the way and included in the team. Usually a princess in disguise. For several volumes of the cycle she does not like the Hero, in the last she becomes his wife.

* Type A = Percival, a hero who does not have power and is searching it, and Type B = King Arthur, a hero who has lost his power and wants to regain it. in other words, Type A = Reynevan and Type B = Geralt :)

** another chapter of the book, "Materia magica, or the Little Magical Alphabetical Lexicon," it's a glossary of various myth and legend. in loki's entry, he recounts some myths of loki and equivalates him with other figures across various traditions: Odysseus, Pryderi, Bricriu, Mordred, Alyosha Popovich, Coyote, Anansi, Maui). then he lists a few fantasy/spec fic characters he categorizes as trickers: Cugel (Dying Earth), Kickaha (World of Tiers), Coyote (Coyote Blue), Peter Lake (Winter's Tale), Moonglum (Elric of Melniboné), Nifft and Haldar (Nifft the Lean), Random (Chronicles of Amber), Saruman (Lord of the Rings), Shimrod (Lyonesse), Silk (The Belgariad and The Malloreon), Gray Mouser (Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser), Talen (The Elenium).

my thoughts:

pretty obvious assignments here, for the most part.

regis is the Wizard-Mentor, but, as he soon loses his mystique, his intellectual, philosophizing manner becomes mundane and irritating than providing magical provenance. he advises incessantly, answering questions before they're asked, giving guidance when no one asked. he only appears to be omniscient, and the others may think he's so smart because he's hundreds of years older than them, but is really just a guy, a middle aged man with a troubled youth which he learned from. his advice is not magically guided and for this reason is fallable, mortal, human. maybe the cliché is also played with in that he's a vampire, not a wizard, sorcerer, or priest, "‘I see.’ The poet sighed. ‘Is Regis a sorcerer?’ ‘No. No, not a sorcerer.’" ... as vampires are typically evil and regis is decidedly a force of good. (on this topic, @wampirzielarz once compared-contrasted gandalf and regis and it was super interesting :))

dandelion is a combination of the Faithful Servant and the Trickster. he's geralt's best friend, and doesn't fight alongside him with sword but his presence is necessary to our hero for moral support, that all makes the first part an obvious assignment... and... sapkowski lists a wide variety of tricksters of various moral alignments, but amongst them are some heroes and some best friends of heroes (and anti-heroes). and asides from being geralt's closest friend, dandelion is, after all, a rascal, who uses words and good looks to get what he wants from people. "a cynic, a lecher, a womanizer and a liar." (also, because i think szarlej also fits this double-definition as well, i won't hesitate to give them to dandelion, as they serve pretty similar functions alongside their respective heroes).

milva is the Good Knight, "always loyal and ready to fight" describes her perfectly, and her 'dark secret' was her pregnancy and plans for abortion. (though, the attribution of lancelot... well, maybe this is why some keen eyes saw a potential in yenva). anyhow, the playfulness with the cliché comes from the fact that she's a woman, which is supposed to be surprising that the hero's strongest ally is a woman. i think the "charismatic" attribute is also supposed to be played with here, as milva is simple and not too well-spoken, only so in her cursing. in other words, she's a peasant woman, and not a born-and-bred nobleman. also, for her gender, she is a play on another trope sapkowski mentions a couple of pages later, but i can't go into it now because it's too funny.

cahir is the Worse Knight, though perhaps in reverse, for all of his associations with Evil was in the past and shed like sports colors when he changed teams. he has no betrayal, "I will never betray you, witcher," all of his ‘betrayal’ was before he was even allied with the hero. but of course, for these sins, he "undergoes catharsis, perishes".

the Damsel in Distress is evidentially angouleme, being "saved from danger on the way and included in the team." the rebuking of the cliché, of course, is that geralt is "genuinely angry, genuinely confused, genuinely embarrassed" when she offers her "gratitude" to him. also, that she is no princess in disguise, just an ordinary girl, though she is confused for the princess they're after (who also happens to be another play on the damsel in distress cliché). and again, like milva, i think angouleme is related to another specifically female character cliché sapkowski calls out; but i'll save it for another post.

[smallcloisville]

I am Kal-El of Krypton. It is time to fulfill my destiny.

[swan2swan]

No show will ever do it like Avatar because in the first five episodes we got to see:

1. The decrepit outskirt hovel town that said “It’s all UP from here” (literally, they’re at the South Pole).

2. A ruined but majestic Air Temple on a mountain peak.

3. A Fire Nation naval base.

4. A humble fishing village with several memorable characters.

5. A whole darn mountain metropolis with magical infrastructure ruled by a crazy old king and visited by an incredible gag character.

And it did all of this without feeling rushed, crowded, forced, or unsatisfying.

In five episodes.

[splooosh]

“Action”

Fred Ray

[frownyalfred]

i just know, in my heart of hearts, that if the Justice League was trapped in a situation where they were all definitely about to die, Hal would absolutely turn to Bruce and go "to be honest, I always thought you were hot as fuck and we had mad chemistry. wanna try it?" and Clark is right there and just absolutely sputtering while Bruce, reluctantly, horrifyingly, contemplates how much he wants to hate himself for his last seventeen minutes on earth

[puppetmaster13u]

 Y’know, I was thinking about like, before the Justice League forms in this au. 

Just slowly rotating Bruce meeting Clark and Diana before they start the league, maybe even help each other out. Need another heavy hitter? Time to call in Clark! Someone mind controls Superman again? Time to call Diana! Need information about some sort of artifact? Diana is there! Want weirdly specific information that no one should know or to get into a place they can’t? Time to call in Bruce! Need a distraction? Boy does Bruce have you covered! Need diplomacy because this alien AI is pissed? Diana pulls on her training as a princess, warrior or not. Need to seem harmless- why, there’s a sunshine alien sweetheart with the same vibes as an overgrown puppy ready to help! 

Honestly it’s a surprise no one has realized they know each other yet, but then again Bruce really embodies being a cryptid and just doesn’t sit still for any potential photos. Sure there are some with Wonder Woman and Superman visible with him hidden in the shadows, but no one outside of Gotham really knows about him. Like I am imagining their friendship being both “two extroverts adopt this introvert” and “we’re coaxing this stray cat with its dozen of kittens over no matter what”

As always, I shall implore you to check out @phoenixcatch7 as this AU is a combo of my cryptid batfam au and theirs, called Possessed Doll

[navek15]

Comic book readers of Tumblr, what does my current and future pull list say about my tastes as a comic book fan?

Absolute Green Lantern

Absolute Wonder Woman

Action Comics

Avengers

Batgirl

Dawnrunner

Destro

Flash Gordon

G.I. Joe

Gatchaman

Geiger

Goobers

Helen of Wyndhorn

Immortal Thor

JSA

Minor Arcana

My Adventures with Superman

Redcoat

Scarlett

Star Trek: Lower Decks

Transformers

UFO Robot Grendizer

Ultimate Black Panther

Ultimate Spider-Man

Ultimate X-Men

Ultimates

Ultraman X Avengers

Void Rivals

[cgbcomics]