#super prime rally

[motorsportverso]

Resumo rally Super Prime São José dos Pinhais parte final

[reasonsforhope]

It was a really, really good political news day today in the US (4/4/23)

For anyone who hasn't heard, not only did Trump get arrested, but also:

-We found out that the legal case against him in this prosecution (stormy daniels hush money case) is SIGNIFICANTLY stronger than people had speculated. Like, wow do they have receipts.

-In fact, the evidence was so entirely there that the new question on prime time news (well, at least on msnbc lol) is "Hey, why didn't the federal courts prosecute him for this already???)

-Trump FAILED UTTERLY in his attempts to rally mass protests and demands for "death and destruction" if he was arrested. There was no violence at the arrest at all, and as for Trump supporters? They failed to show up in any kind of numbers--reportedly only about a hundred people were protesting the arrest

-We (aka Judge Janet Protasiewicz) WON what is widely considered to be the most consequential election of 2023, a Wisconsin state supreme court election that handed control of the state supreme court to the left

-Because of that election win, it is now extremely likely that abortion will be legal in Wisconsin, and that Wisconsin won't be able to throw out electors in the 2024 presidential election

-ALSO bc of this, Wisconsin, the most gerrymandered state in the country, will probably get nonpartisan, accurate maps, which COULD FLIP THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES in 2024

-In Chicago, Brandon Johnson, union organizer and former teacher, won the election for mayor, in a decisive win progressives, esp for meaningful criminal justice reform and investment in mental health (whereas the other guy was campaigning on hiring hundreds of new cops and being super tough on crime)

[glitteringcrab]

Morty Prime's personality regression

Some fans (and I'm among those fans) feel like it seems Morty Prime's character development has regressed after Unmortiricken (S7E5).

Like he's more docile... less challenging of Rick... more accepting of Rick's shit...

There are a few possible explanations for this:

1. Morty sub-consciously trying his hardest not to act like Evil Morty

2. Evil Morty planting in Morty Prime's head the poisonous idea that Rick C-137 might commit suicide if Morty Prime is not there to emotionally support him

3. Rick C-137 is not so much a jerk these days. He hasn't messed with Morty with any Vats of Acid, hasn't created a robot version of himself. The worse thing he did was the Valhalla thing.

4. Morty Prime being more understanding of Rick C-137's mental state and finding more patience to deal with him.

But... at the same time, some of Morty's behaviors seemed so out of character that we fans (and I was among those faaaaans) built a whole theory that Morty Prime had been replaced by Evil Morty post Unmortricken....! ("Freaky Mortys Theory", for anyone interested. There are tags with it)

I think if we look a bit deeper in this season's Morty Prime (and the previous seasons) we'll notice some... interesting things.

Let's compare Morty Prime's and Evil Morty's capabilities and personality characteristics across the seasons, shall we?

Charisma

Evil Morty got himself elected:

Morty Prime convincing (little pieces of himself) as Marta:

Morty Prime rallying the trapped Mortys:

Gosh, they even do the same gestures

A "healthy" Morty Prime, no longer burdened by his awkwardness can climb the social ladder really fast:

And of course, the attribute slider:

Intelligence (probably one of Evil Morty's defining characteristics - "you're like an evil Morty, a clever one" as Rick Prime put it)

I'd have to put screenshots of every single scene Evil Morty is in, so let's dig in straight to Morty Prime instead lol

See above attribute slider.

See above Morty managing to become a Stock Broker, totally something a moron could do

Morty Prime casually disarming neutrino bombs, totally something a moron could do

Morty Prime beating Rick at a board game (and Rick freaking mind blowing him over it, the giant 8-year-old)

Suddenly being able to do math, which meant that he always could do math, he just wasn't really motivated to try:

And mind you, this was in Season 7 post Unmorticken, during the time we felt that Morty Prime's personality had regressed, and it was one of the "clues" we fans used as "proof" that this was really Evil Morty.

Of course, Morty Prime has A LOT (like, A LOT) of dumb moments as well. But the capability of intelligence is definitely there.

Manipulation

All of Evil Morty, where to even start lol

Let's head for Morty Prime instead.

Morty Prime presenting himself as super ecologically sensitive to Planetina. I mean, he definitely was on board with ecological activism etc, but he also wouldn't visit random forest fires to help. The liar. Planetina somehow fell for that.

"I'm your little brother, you have to take care of me!" was Morty Prime trying his hand at manipulation with Summer. And this was in Season 7 post Unmortricken, during Morty Prime's "regressed" phase.

The "trickle down effect" with Tricia seeing him ripped by the attribute slider was pretty clever, and manipulative (not maliciously, but still). This was ALSO in Season 7 post Unmortricken, during Morty Prime's "regressed" phase.

"Why would I be friends with a witch" was very fast thinking on Morty's part:

Again, this was in Season 7 post Unmortricken, in Morty Prime's "regressed" phase.

Physical abilities

Lookit Evil Morty flying:

And now look at Mort Prime performing Evil Morty's flying kick, which he definitely couldn't do before Unmortricken:

This was one of the "clues" we fans interpreted as "proof" that this was really Evil Morty, but since that theory has been jossed, the next obvious conclusion is that Morty Prime has been training.

And this was in Season 7 post Unmortricken as well, where we fans have been complaining about Morty Prime's personality regressing.

Extreme self harm as a step to freedom

I'm a hundred percent sure Evil Morty orchestrated his own assassination attempt and willingly walked towards the person who'd shoot him:

And, as another fan pointed (check out the tags!), Morty Prime did this:

Even the other guy, who was trying to kill Morty in that scene, is disturbed lol

Murder

Evil Morty probably has the biggest body count out of anyone, along with Rick C-137... But Morty Prime can get... trigger happy as well.

Shooting Rick C-137 in a fit of rage:

Getting really happy in the "trigger-happy" part during the Purging episode:

(thankfully, it was not played as a joke)

The Death Crystals deserve a special mention. So many people dead, just so he could grow old with his crush ("and people call me Evil Morty") and somehow it's played as a joke:

All those poor dudes in the Narnia dimension:

Desensitization to murder

It seems that any amount of murder is small potatoes to Evil Morty:

In "Mort: Ragnarick" Morty Prime complains about being desensitized to murder, and then Rick makes him kill people repeatedly (which Morty does obediently), during an episode where he has one of the highest body counts:

Most of the people he keeps killing are immortal Viking ghosts who literally live to die (lol) but Morty still is the one committing the murder, and he even tells Rick not to kill the Vatican guards (who die for real) every time, which I think Rick actually agreed with, thankfully...

Needless cruelty

There was no need for this, Evil Morty!!!! It served zero rational purpose!

Oh, you're gonna think. Morty Prime is not like that. Sure, he kills people, but he never draws it out.

Think again:

"Careful, Ethan. Your s'more is burning."

Ethan simply dumped Morty's sister!! That's not good enough reason to turn him into a deformed monster, Ethan was just being an immature teenager!

...Not to mention Morty Prime literally tried to roofie Jessica (not exactly cruel, but... quite evil).

Morty (!!!) suggesting they use brainwashed clones to solve the spaghetti shortage, and holding his hands behind his back while he did it, freaking Evil Morty style (also EVIL).

Okay, I'm gonna stop here and say that I don't mean to stretch things. We've known Morty Prime for 7 seasons and the amount of times he has been manipulative, trigger-happy or evil can each be counted on one hand, while those same characteristics are pretty much defining of Evil Morty. The potential exists in Morty Prime, but it becomes reality in its most extreme form in Evil Morty.

In addition, there are some differences between the two:

Evil Morty has patience, single-minded focus and the ability to come up with incredibly convoluted schemes (it's... almost like he spent unimaginable amounts of time trapped as a prisoner in his own body, unable to act, unable to do anything but wait and plan), while it also seems he is devoid of empathy (cough), forgiveness, or the desire for connection (I will probably make separate posts for the those two).

POINT 1: I suspect that their differences can be accounted for if the theory that they grew up differently is true; one in the safety of his home and family, the other in the uncertain and hostile environment of the Citadel.

Morty Prime never had to be manipulative, because he could always just ask to get what he needed. His more violent tendencies get suppressed by the humane examples his (non-Rick) family members set. He tries to do the right, moral thing 99% of the time because he grew up learning the virtues of kindness and compassion, and did not get brainwashed by a hundred different versions of his nihilistic grandpa into discarding universes and people like single-use coffee cups.

I suspect that Morty Prime and Evil Morty might be WAY too similar, and it's just that Evil Morty's brain is in constant overdrive survival mode, while Morty Prime is in normal kid mode.

I suspect that the parallel between Morty Prime and Evil Morty is meant to be a story of "nature vs nurture" and the effects of long-term abuse and neglect can have on a child.

POINT 2: I suspect that the series' climax might revolve around a revelation that Rick was wrong all along:

That Morty Prime (and any Morty) is just as clever as any Rick, and he doesn't get to show his brilliance because he's just a young child who can do stuff like waste time playing videogames and date girls and hung around with his family instead of honing every skill he has into a deadly weapon just so he can survive.

I feel like this is a revelation that has been building up for a while:

(and poor Morty doesn't react in this scene during Rick's admittance, because of course it doesn't concern him: he is just an idiot, he is not "intelligent in a different way" like Bigfoot is)

POINT 3: While it may be true that Morty Prime has been more... docile and patient and forgiving of Rick post Unmortricken, the way I see it, he's also physically training, is becoming more manipulative and we have more proof that he's actually really smart.

...So, I wouldn't call his personality change a "regression"...

...more like... a shift... towards higher forgiveness and tolerance and towards cultivating his capabilities.

Which, if Rick C-137 screws up and does something to betray Morty Prime's unconditional love, would bode really badly.

[minweber]

" 'You know, Aristaeus-Theta, you are not like most tech-priests I've met before. Much more... free-thinking. Why is that? Are you some sort of youthful rebel among your kind?'

'Not quite, lord-captain. Age is a factor here, but it is the other way around - I am actually considerably older than most magi you'd meet today.'

'That's the first time I hear of age making anyone more open-minded.'

'And you still haven't. The march of time has only nurtured in me a conservative streak, as it tends to do. But me and many of my generation - we are the children of the last CBR, brought up in what one might call a more... liberal era of our kind.'

'The last what? I am unfamiliar with this abbreviation.'

'Cawl-Based Renaissance, my lord. How to explain...' "

So, going through the Genefather again, a bit that jumped out at me was one where Alpha Primus notes that Cawl seems to be approaching one of his "solitude phases". This manifests through him starting to divest himself of excess of followers and resources. Which I think is cool for two reasons.

Firstly, from the meta perspective, it seems like a sneaky laying of groundwork on Guy Haley's part, done so that any future Cawl stories can be written without having to constantly explain why he is having death-defying adventures on the ground somewhere with his sad psychic super son and nervous immortal not-husband, while literal legions of techpriests, skitarii and Taranis knights sit in the orbit above twiddling their thumbs.

But secondly, I love the lore implications of the idea that Cawl has these looong phases of either acting like the Archmagos Dominus and Prime Conduit of the Omnissiah, or just a lil' guy who chills in his lab doing his own thing. According to Primus, at the dawn of the 42nd millennium Cawl is in the process of switching from the former to the latter, which he does, among other ways, by slowly disbanding his court of weirdo followers which he has accumulated over the years. And Genefather specifically confirms this idea - one that seemed so natural to me but never was really validated before - that Cawl seems to act as a sort of rallying beacon for all manner of radicals, weirdos and malcontents within the cult Mechanicus. Weirdos that he, after one hot summer (or a few hundred years) of them all brewing together in this big pot of radical ideas, is in the process of releasing back into the wild...

Hey, isn't this a part of how - some would argue - the actual Renaissance started?

And with Cawl having apparently done this enough times for Primus to intuitively know the pattern, I can't help but imagine that, say, about every thousand years the galactic community of Adeptus Mechanicus get these spikes of radical and heretek activity. It causes tensions, purges, sometimes civil wars - but also a general liberalization of AdMech political climate for a time. Because if everyone is busy arguing about this particular attempt at pushing boundaries of the Lore by overly ambitious smartass of the week, a dozen less flashy projects can fly under the radar.

And with Mechanicus' love for recording of things - I also believe this pattern would be recognized! At least enough so that when Cawl emerges from another one of his "solitude phases", ready to present the galaxy with the hottest takes of M36, senior magi across the galaxy make a collective sigh and start preparing to deal with a fresh wave of bright-eyed mad science college graduates in a couple hundred years' time...

[tippenfunkaport]

the freaky friday art

have you written a glimmer & angella body swap fic

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

You know, Anon, I thought about it at one point and I remember it was in canon but I don't remember when I was going to have it happen and I can't find my notes so it's lost to time.

So, instead, let's crowd source...

Propaganda...

Battle of Bright Moon: Angella ends up in Shadow Weaver's bonds, trying to convince her to let her go while her daughter rallies the army as her to come and get her. How might it change everything if Angella witnessed the Horde's brutality first hand instead of just hearing about it from within the comforts of Bright Moon? Does Angella have it in her to break through the pain of the bonds to save Adora? How does Glimmer feel in her mother's body with all the respect it commands?

Post Portal: Angella's still a mess and mourning her daughter but now instead of going on the offensive, does she pull into herself? Everyone thinks Angella is a hero, does she let them or feel even more like a coward because she basically sacrificed her own daughter? OR if Glimmer stays behind but in Angella's body, how much worse could the events of Season 4 go if she's hiding she's Angella and issuing orders knowing people are more likely to listen to her mother's face?

Trapped on Prime's ship: Angella and Catra have to bond! Angella trapped and missing her daughter and stuck with the girl who pulled the level! Drama! This is the main selling point of this I feel.

During the Final Battle: This one is really just about the angst of Chipped!Micah fighting Angella

anyway these are just some random thoughts, I welcome everyone else's input and ideas!

[kalahannikolai]

My glorious, beautiful boy, Bumblebee! Based on his '07 live-action design, but simplified and with my own personal flourish on top. I am VERY proud of this, as simple as it was compared to Megatron and Soundwave. I'm especially proud of the most unique aspects of him: his head, antlers, and face.

And now, another bout of lore beneath the cut!

Long before the Civil War even began, Sentinel Prime had begun a project in secret. Performed by his confidential science division, he ordered the creation of a breed of Super Soldier to enact his will across the stars. Where Sentinel's predecessor, Nova Prime, sought to–stifle and erase the predacons from Cybertron, Sentinel saw a way they could serve his own ambitions. Thus did he have many captured and experimented upon in secret, and used as the base to create his Super Soldier.

Cybertronians forged from the protoform stage to become his greatest warriors, and so many protoforms were created in his science division's labs and artificially aged to maturity and deployed at once.

Among their number was B-127 and C-127, two individuals made in the 127th batch under Jhiaxus' supervision. While C-127 thrived amidst the violent missions they were sent on across the stars, B-127 came to realize something was wrong. Always keen and observant of his surroundings, he quickly realized something was different between him and his battle brothers, and their commanding officers. While they all looked bestial and strangely out of place, their officers looked near regal and poised in comparison. Subtle differences in how their armor was shaped, their faces were formed, warned Bee that something was wrong.

One day, he convinced C-127 to sneak out with him to investigate. They broke into their general's private quarters on a colony they'd just settled, after a grueling battle that took many cycles. There, they found their first traces, and eventually went AWOL entirely and snuck their way to Cybertron for the first time in their known lives. Once there, they were shocked to see the rest of Cybertron's inhabitants, and even more so the khadracons; those with odd, bestial faces just like theirs. But their excursion soon brought them to Iacon wherein they met Orion Pax and Alpha Trion.

The Prime and his apprentice quickly noted something off about the two, and took them to a freelance doctor named Ratchet at once. It was soon discovered that they were hardly old enough to have alt modes let alone fight, and yet they looked the part of fully mature beings. Furthermore, they looked the part of predacon descendants, and yet Ratchet could find no genealogical record within their CNA at all. It was then that Alpha Trion realized what was going on here, and so too did Orion Pax; who knew that if Megatron learned of this, he would declare war immediately...and chose not to tell him, for fear it would come true.

But Megatron would find out regardless, as an ambitious Shockwave—one of Jhiaxus' own colleagues—would blow the whistle directly into the gladiator's ear. But while most of the experimental soldiers rallied to Megatron's cause, C-127 and B-127 would not be fooled into following another tyrant into war. Instead, they hid away with Orion Pax and Alpha Trion within the archives of Iacon. When Orion was uplifted as Optimus Prime, and formed the Autobot Resistance, they both enlisted at once to PROTECT rather than to destroy. Thus were they christened with true names, as C-127 called himself Cliffjumper, while B-127...called himself Bumblebee.

[hrefna-the-raven]

Heart of Steel

Fallout masterlist - main masterlist

Chapter 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

Song for this chapter:

Summary: The Brotherhood's final assault on the Institute is finally within reach...

Warnings: smut (18+)

Notes: This is the second last chapter :) I'm not quite satisfied with it but I've been working on it for days now without feeling any better about it so I decided to finally post it.

Chapter 12 - A flame in your heart

Despite all that happened, it felt good setting foot again on the Prydwen. It had been a long and arduous journey, but the Brotherhood's final assault on the Institute was finally within reach. With a shaky breath, you prepared and filed the report about your mission to eliminate Danse. You felt the relief knowing that he was hiding safe and sound in a Minutemen settlement and you certainly were grateful to know that you hadn't misjudged Arthur. For a fleeting moment you had seen it all fall apart, your heart on the brink of shattering but he had come through and you wondered if war never changed, maybe people still could.

Maxson had been busy since his arrival, approving reports, reading through messages before heading down to the airport to inspect the progress they made on Liberty Prime. His curious excitement was unbearable, having spent years around this machine, he'd finally get to see it in action, secretly wondering how it'd feel to finally hear its voice. He nervously fumbled with a tiny object in the pocket of his coat, hoping to calm himself a bit as he took quick breaths and waited for all his soldiers to assemble within the courtyard of the airport. Though it was meant to be an official gathering where he would deliver a rousing speech, rallying the Brotherhood for their final push, the other plans that had been haunting his mind for days kept his thoughts racing. Although it wouldn't occupy his mind for too long as the courtyard was quickly filled with soldiers waiting for his words with excitement while you stood in the front row, smiling at him.

"Brothers and sisters!", he began, taking a step forward, "this campaign will be costly and many lives will be lost. But in the end, we will be saving the Commonwealth from the Institute and their abominations! We're finally ready and with the assistance of Liberty Prime, we will strike without mercy, obliterating their headquarters once and for all!"

The soldiers erupted in cheers and while you tried to not stumble over the words he used, reminding yourself of the man you truly knew, you simply smiled, eyes locked on his while you felt your heart jump at the sight of the man who had captured your heart like no other.

“Knight”, he motioned towards you, “come forward.”

You swallowed a lump as you made your way towards him, suddenly all to aware that the all the other soldiers were observing you.

“Danse held quite an important position with us that is now unoccupied and by your actions we all know who is most deserving of this. I'm certain that you'll make a fine replacement, Paladin."

The soldiers cheered once more and Proctor Ingram nodded at you with a wide grin.

"I...I...I'm honoured, Elder", you stammered, caught off guard by the unexpected promotion being announced so openly.

However, unbeknownst to you just yet, the Elder had another surprise in store for you that would leave you completely speechless. Having known him and the Brotherhood for quite some time, you had come to expect surprises to be limited to the occasional appearance of super mutant camps or synth activity on the radar. But as you tried to comprehend the situation unfolding right before your eyes, your pupils widened in shock as Arthur, with a nervous grin, reached into his coat's pocket and dropped down onto one knee. The soldiers fell silent, their eyes fixed on the two of you.

"Paladin," Arthur began, his trembling voice filled with love and sincerity, "I can no longer deny that your unwavering loyalty and strength have captured my heart. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

A surge of emotions flooded through you - surprise, joy, and a hint of disbelief as he held up an old silver pendant, its delicate chain dangling down his hand. The question lingered in the air, and time seemed to stand still. Everyone was holding their breath, including you as the importance of this question was not lost on you. The Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel had just knelt down in front of you and asked you to be his wife. You knew that if you'd agree it would never be just you and Arthur, the burden of the Maxson legacy and the weight of the Brotherhood's mission would fall on you as well. Would this be a price you'd be willing to pay to be with this man? His thumb pressed down on a tiny button and the pendant sprung open, revealing two small photos within – one of a woman bearing an uncanny resemblance with Arthur and one of a little ten-year old boy who had the same sad yet stern eyes as he. With tears welling up in your eyes, you nodded, barely able to find your voice.

"Yes, Elder," you managed to whisper, your voice filled with overwhelming happiness as the realisation of marrying Arthur settled in.

He stood up and gently placed the necklace on you, its large pendant hanging on your chest. His hand wrapped around your neck and he pulled you into a tender kiss.

The proposal, the cheers and the questions that lingered on your mind just a few hours ago were now but faint lights in the distance as Arthur pressed you against the cold metal door within his private quarters. His mouth clashed on yours, his tongue slipping past your lips to deepen the kiss. You moaned into his mouth, pushing his coat down before you fumbled around his uniform desperately trying to pull it down. He broke the kiss and chuckled at your frustrated sigh.

“The Brotherhood needs new uniforms”, you grumbled, still struggling to rid him of that stubborn piece of clothing.

“Is that a formal requisition's request, paladin?”, he grinned, swiftly undoing the buckle on the neck-piece, “you do realise that Proctor Teagan is in charge for those.”

Your fingers delicately unbuttoned the rest and pulled the fabric down to his hips before pushing him away, a mischievous grin spreading across your face as you watched him stumble backwards, trying to rid himself of the uniform and his boots.

“Alright then, I'll be right on my way to the dear Proctor, Elder”, you teased, giving a wink as you turned towards the door.

His hands found your hips, he swiftly spun you around and lifted you up while walking towards the bed with you in his arms, his erection painfully pressed against your clothed core.

“You're not yet dismissed, paladin”, he whispered in your ear, “I still have orders for you.”

A gasp escaped you as he gently slumped you down on the mattress before crawling over you, kicking your legs apart with his knee.

“And what might those orders be”, you asked in a half moan as he bucked his hips against yours.

Arthur trailed needy kisses along your neck, slowly unzipping and sliding down your vault suit as his lips continued to caress your warm skin downwards. He discarded the suit, letting it fall to the floor, before settling himself between your legs again. His eyes locked with yours, delving into the depths of the affection and love you held for him. In that moment, he knew that he had finally found his true home and the family he had always yearned for.

“Allow me to love you for as long as I live”, he murmured, taking a deep breath to push down the overwhelming emotions within his heart.

Dread seized him, his thoughts lingering on the battle ahead. The Institute wouldn't go down without a fight and he wouldn't know how to handle you getting hurt in the process. He fleetingly thought about ordering you to stay on the Prydwen but then again, when did you ever follow through with any of his orders? After all it was exactly why both of you had ended up in this moment...

“What are you waiting for, my husband?”, you interrupted his train of thoughts.

Arthur's lips curled into a tender smile as he pressed a kiss upon your mouth and moved his hips, his cock gliding into your wetness, both of you moaning in unison. He slowly thrust into you, each movement filled with a profound affection instead of raw passion. This wasn't about his burning desire for you, he wanted to be close to you, his soul binding with yours and if fate would grant him victory tomorrow, he'd at last forge the bond with you as his wife. Whispers of your name fell from his lips as his movements grew sloppier and he struggled to maintain the slow pace. The tight wetness wrapping around his throbbing cock, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoing through his quarters lured him him faster towards the edge. He tried to resist but was lost the moment he felt your walls clench around him as you came undone, succumbing to his own release shortly after. Arthur collapsed on you, breathing heavy as he chuckled.

"What?", you asked, pushing him off you.

"You called me your husband", he smiled softly as his hand tenderly caressed your belly.

"Mhm", you hummed, "you'll soon be."

You pecked his lips and affectionately nudged your nose against his. Raising the pendant that still hang around your neck, you opened it and took a closer look at the two photographs inside. Your eyes darted between Arthur and the picture of the boy, giggling at their striking resemblance. It was the same stern look he'd always carry around his soldiers.

"So this is young Arthur and Mama Maxson?"

He nodded, a tinge of sadness crossing his face.

"This", he held up the pendant, his thumb gently brushing over it, "was a gift from my mother. She gave it to me before sending me into Elder Lyons' care on the Citadel. I know that traditionally, a proposal should involve a ring, but this...it's my most precious possession and I want you to have it for you are the most precious soul in my life."

Tears welled up in the corners of your eyes. He was willing to give you something that held immense value to him because of the love you had brought into his life. You couldn't fathom how to reciprocate this gesture as you no longer had anything from your past that held significance. The only thing that mattered to you in this world was him. A choked laugh escaped your lips as he wiped away your tears and wrapped his arms around you. Worries about tomorrow's battle should have occupied your mind but this night was one of the very few that granted both of you a blissful sleep, cuddled up against each other as you descended into dreams filled with love and your shared future.

Chapter 13 (final chapter) - A new dawn

Feel free to reblog if you enjoyed the story :)

[gffa]

Hey Lumi! I've been loving your Bo-Katan commentary and have appreciated the way you make connections to previous content from Clone Wars and Rebels, pointing out lots of things I would have missed otherwise! So I hope you don't mind a lore question. Has Bo-Katan ever been referred to as a "princess" before this episode? I was confused when she said that, since Satine was a Duchess, and I hadn't ever gotten the impression that Mandalore was a strict hereditary monarchy, but that the houses would rise and fall. I got nothing from reading Wookiepedia so I'm hoping you can shed some light!

Hi! Thank you, I'm glad the Bo-Katan commentary has been entertaining! I have to admit, I've fallen back in love with Mean Wife, she is so mean and so great! Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to help much with the Mandalorian stuff because there's really not a lot about it in canon. Legends probably covered a bunch of stuff, but The Mandalorian is not part of the Legends continuity, so who knows what Favreau is going to do with this. I'm not sure we really know how Mandalore's royalty situation worked out, why Satine was Duchess instead of Queen, if there's a functional difference, if it's one of those situations like where Padme was Queen of Naboo, but it was an elected position, that maybe terms don't mean the same thing in Star Wars as they do in our universe, and "Duchess" means "Queen" to them, etc. All of that is speculation! I did get the impression that Satine's position was hereditary because she came into that position when she was very young, given the age she and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were on the run, but if she'd been elected, she wouldn't still be Duchess and she probably would have been more popular at that time. But also because House Kryze was established as a thing (like House Vizsla) in TCW, which is hereditary as well, if we're going by how long House Vizsla has history all the way back to at least Tarre Vizsla. But a lot of that is based on the vibes I got from how characters acted and how there was nothing mentioned of rises and falls or elections, like Pre Vizsla didn't become the Duke of Mandalore, instead it fell to the Prime Minister that he was puppet mastering, despite that Pre was from House Vizsla, which has a long, long history with Mandalore. So, the "Princess" line threw me, but I'm just assuming that, yeah, the Kryze family was royalty and that we're not meant to take "Princess" super literally in a 1:1 relation to our own world or that maybe she was Princess of Kalevala, but Duchess/Duke was a separate role that a person from House Kryze inherited. (And should have passed to Bo-Katan on Satine's death, but the political upheaval on Mandalore was too chaotic and they weren't willing to rally around Bo-Katan at the time.) Really, though, it's impossible to say, we don't know nearly enough about canon to say what the term "Princess" means or if Favreau doesn't care and just threw it in there because it sounded good. Never underestimate the power of something sounding good. XD

[rhysmaart]

Figuring out my take on bumblebee. He would turn into a super deformed rally racing car, somewhere between a beetle and a mini Cooper.

He’s a teenage (equivalent) autobot who loves exploring the earth and racing, and he’s pretty much everyone’s friend, being a friendly and outgoing bot who brings up the energy level of everyone around him! Don’t be fooled though, there’s a reason a bot like him is on Optimus primes hand picked team. Bee is a great hand to hand fighter, an ace with his special stinger weapons, and has a talent for getting into the heads of anyone he’s up against to throw them off their game. And if all of that fails, bee can channel all his energy into his stinger for a paralyzing blast capable of putting even a combiner into stasis lock for a short time. Doing this, however, puts him into stasis as well, so it’s only really useful when he is around other autobots who can finish the fight and get his body to safety until he comes to.

[motorsportverso]

Rally Super Prime São José dos Pinhais parte 2

[catcake24]

So I have this transformers au. I’ve been working on it for awhile but not really planning on doing much with it lol. So here it is. I like to call it my “Oops all Ocs au”, or “Quintesson Occupation AU”

So here’s the basics: This universe takes place wayyyyy back during the time quintessons took over Cybertron and was using it as a factory. The Cybertronians themselves don’t even realize they can think and feel, because the quintessons basically install their own viruses which suppress emotional and critical thought.

However, these viruses don’t work super well anyways. It’s hard to keep a living being from seeing its own living nature, so instead they also have manufactured a narrative that “you are all unthinking machines”. So many Cybertronians who manage to break out of the virus think they are defective machines, and are scared of stepping out of line and being scrapped.

This is where our main character comes in - M-572-456. Or M for short. He’s a warframe, and slowly regains his consciousness alongside his brother F-572-456 (or F for short). At first, they both think they are the only ones - defective machines who have gained free thought. M is smart though, and slowly realizes that he and his brother aren’t alone in their consciousness. There are defectives everywhere, in every level of manufacturing and products. Eventually, he and F join a small group of defectives who meet when the Quintessons are asleep.

Things are good enough for awhile, with this group gaining more members slowly and they start an escape plan. When they do manage to escape however, it quickly becomes clear how much bigger this is than just their small group when they meet a nice bot named A-3.

A-3 is an archivist, data management for the “factory”, and has uncovered something drastic. He found out on his own after gaining his own consciousness that the Quintessons aren’t their masters or creators, they’re invaders. This planet existed before them and it’s likely bots like them did as well, but Quintessons took over the planet and destroyed almost all of their history and only saved the old blueprints medics made of their bodies. M doesn’t quite believe it, but the evidence that A-3 has is staggering, and believes that at least the quintessons are aware that they have a habit of developing free thought and have been violently trying to suppress it.

M eventually decides this can’t stand anymore, thinking of all his friends and brothers in the facility he just fled from. How they all deserve freedom like he now has. So, he rallies all the bots he can into a group to fight for all their freedoms (something A-3 was struggling to do) and chooses a name for himself. Megatronus, the freedom fighter.

Now, taking a step back, I’m gonna explain the larger timeline quickly:

- Megatronus isn’t a prime in this AU, but a well known historical figure. He’s the one who helped unite their people together, which is why Megatron named himself after this figure.

- The primes themselves are a title rather than a demigod like in some continuities, and Optimus is the 13th prime so far. The order these primes are: Prima, Primos, Prime Nova, Solus Prime, Nexus Prime, Guardian Prime, Megatronic Prime, Alchemist Prime, Onyx Prime, Micronus Prime, Zeta Prime, Sentinel Prime, Optimus Prime. Each one inherited the matrix at some point, and after Optimus would be Rodimus.

- Megatronic takes the place of the “fallen” prime instead of Megatronus, and is known as the fallen because he betrayed the Autobots for the Decepticons leading to a military dictatorship which Alchemist Prime was apart of and eventually was the one to end it.

- the whole theme of this AU is that the Cybertronian race has been in a cycle of war and peace since the quintessons were expelled from their planet, that every time they find peace again it becomes corrupt and the other side rises up again. The Decepticons and Autobots have been at war ever since they first expelled the quintessons, but it stops and starts again over and over.

- the Most recent war, the one we all know of between Megatron and Optimus Prime, has only been going on for a thousand years. But for millions of years before that, their race has been divided.

- A-3 mentioned above is obviously young Alpha Trion, and he’s old as dirt in this au. No one else matches his age, and he’s only been around for so long due to tenacity, medical assistance, and divine intervention. He’s the one to find the Matrix of Leadership after Megatronus’ death, and becomes the guardian of it with a special connection to Primus.

- Primus in this AU isn’t literally a god, but more like an elder being which is close to a god. His body was found while he was dead/sleeping, and the Quintessons used it to create their factory after eliminating all the beings living on it. This made Primus mad, but he couldn’t do much about it after he woke up. He created several artifacts in his core, where the Auintessons couldn’t get them: among them was Vector Sigma. This supercomputer is important because it can program life and consciousness, something no other computer can do. So Primus sent pulses out from Vector Sigma for centuries, which is how so many Cybertronians were able to gain consciousness despite the Quintessons best efforts.

Back to the story, Megatronus founds his group the Warcons who lead the resistance with all those who can fight. A-3 handles more covert missions, which the Domestibots handle. These two groups were always apart of the Cybertronian resistance, but would eventually become the Autobots and Decepticons.

They would find ways around the virus the Quintessons used, and fight for their planet over a gruelling three thousand years. However, Megatronus never gave up hope that they could be free and his hope was infectious. After his death, the resistance continued with his closest friends leading the charge. A-3 would travel down into the planet, looking for secret tunnels they could use, but would return with the matrix.

One of Megatronus’ friends was an ambitious but also kinda crazy guy, a former gladiator for the entertainment of the Quintessons. A-3 would approach him with the Matrix, and told him that it was an artifact which would give them great power but also be a great burden. It would keep his memories and part of his being alive forever, and pass on whatever wisdom he had to the next bearer. This way, they might be able to win against the Quintessons.

He took it without a second thought, and became the first Prime - Prima.

From here, the story gets more blurry in my mind. Basically the matrix gives Prima a direct line of contact to Primus, which he tells everyone who will listen and is how the matrix becomes the basis for religion on Cybertron. A-3, now Alpha Trion, makes more excursions down and brings back more artifacts as well - among them the Sword of the Protector.

After Prima’s death, Primos would choose a Warcon to lead their resistance alongside his Domestibots, as the divide between them as been growing bigger and bigger over time. He became the first Lord High Protector of Cybertron, and finally these two would finally expel the Quintessons from their planet.

After this, they make sure to have Alpha Trion write all the history of this war down for future generations. The pair spend the rest of their lives trying to bring the newly named Destrons and Protectobots back together as a people, and would somewhat succeed, but all would unravel after their deaths.

Megatronus never knew, that when he and A-3 would divide their forces it would become a chasm which would rip their people apart for millions of years.

This was a lot of the bigger ideas and plot I had for this AU, but I might make more posts about things like the primes, the lord high protectors, and more miscellaneous stuff. This is a BIG au, but I don’t have much to use it for aside from planning fanfics lol.

[gae-bolg-alternative-dot-exe]

it's been awhile, how did leone die in the manga?

Spoilers. It's been awhile for me as well but in the final raid. Leone took on the mission to take care of the corrupt prime minister. Unfortunately for her, the evil prime minster was revealed to be some kung fu GOD (because of course he was 🙄) and he beat the life out of her and tossed lifeless body off a palace balcony, like 10+ stories down to the ground, it was super depressing. But In her dying moments on the ground, Leone activated some super saiyan animal fusion technique and got up and literally hunted down the prime minster as he was pissing himself. She beat the absolute crap out of him with her new powers and in a karmic twist, threw him off the same balcony the exact same way he threw her off the balcony a few chapters prior.

When the bastard hit the ground. He didn't die but was unable to move his arms and legs, he became completely paralyzed. Later on, the common folk revolutionizing discovered his paralyzed body and took him, chained him up, and allowed every single citizen in the entire city to cut off a piece of his body. He was still alive and in pain but because he was unable to die easily because of his super kung fu body. He sat there wishing for a death that never came as he was tortured endlessly (good riddance).

Way prior to that, Leone walked away from the palace in her super saiyan mode that kept her alive to her favorite bar in her favorite part of town where she drank and partied with her now freed community one last time before she walked out, into the far outskirts of the now freed city and rested by a lonely crossroads with no witnesses as to not make anybody sad of her passing. There she died alone but happy in the snow knowing that she allowed many others to live happy carefree lives.

In retrospect, it's an optimistic death considering all the other deaths within the manga but it still sucks for the reader because it felt that no other main character that lived really remembered or recognized her sacrifice? She was the designated comic relief/fanservice character by the author and she had many opportunities to seek help and survive at the end but the author decided that it would be cooler if she died so she did despite bringing so much optimism to the main protag group that kinda lacked a source to rally behind :/. That's just kind of the manga akame ga kill was. I heard her fate in the anime was much more abrupt and random and I don't wish to ever know what it was.

[sociopath-analysis]

Sociopath Profile: Stormfront

Real name: Klara Vought (née Risinger) From the Amazon Prime series The Boys (2019-present*) Played by Aya Cash Recommended by @rickyriddle *Valid as of late March 2023*

I wouldn't say that bringing up Stormfront being a sociopath is necessarily a spoiler considering how the corporate-backed supers in this show typically are. Especially since she takes a liking to Homelander of all people. However, to fully explain how sociopathic she is, that definitely will require some spoilers...

[SPOILERS FOR SEASONS 2 & 3 BELOW]

For starters, it turns out that she's an honest-to-goodness Nazi. Not just a neo-Nazi, but she has been a supersoldier for the literal Third Reich. No wonder she likes Homelander so much. In addition, she is able to keep that side of her under wraps for when she's introduced as the new hero for the Seven.

One thing about her is that she is very charismatic. She has a dedicated social media following and knows how to look down-to-earth for people to relate to her. She has an aura about her that helps make people like her by being witty and cheeky. Giving Starlight the girl-power pep-talk shows that she can get people on her side and have them connect with her on a superficial level. In addition, she is quite the orator since she's able to drum up rallies for her pushing her agenda of turning people against Vought and the "super terrorists."

This is one thing that helps her manipulate people. She knows the right things to say to get people riled up or to get them to trust her. Not only does she do it on a personal level, but her social media following is one thing that shows how she can manipulate the masses. She has people that know how to get the reactions she wants and to get them on her side. Playing on Homelander's insecurities and need for validation is one way she gets him to act how she wants. Unlike Homelander who thrives on everyone liking him, Stormfront just goes for the people who she can control. This is how she gets further with what she wants.

"You don't need fifty million people to love you. You need five million fuckin' pissed."

All this is to cover the fact that she doesn't care about anyone who stands in her way. Especially if they're not white. She has a deep hatred of those outside of the Ayrian ideal, but she knows how to avoid looking suspicious about it. However, she shows no concern when she mows down black families during a rampage to find Kimiko and Kenji. She specifically went through a black neighborhood to cause as much collateral damage as possible while chasing them. Murdering minorities just happens to be a hobby of hers. She does eventually show that she had a family that she cared about, but it doesn't seem she can extend that sympathy to others so readily. Especially when she extends her motherly instincts to steal Ryan from Becca to mold him into her ideals.

Stormfront also has a need for stimulation shown through her sadomasochistic tendencies. She enjoys killing people and takes her time when killing Kenji while mocking him the whole way through. In fact, she would have killed Kimiko if Kenji didn't intervene because she was holding her over the ledge while trying to strangle her to death. In addition, she enjoys it when Homelander beats her up, taking it as a form of foreplay rather than a beating. In general, she is someone who likes pain. She outright admits her sadism when she forces Kenji to keep his eyes open when she kills him.

"I like to see the light go out."

And she ultimately shows no remorse for her actions. Partially because she believes she's right in what she's doing. She doesn't care about it because it's something that needs to be done. However, she also has no problem turning on potential allies when they turn against her. Starlight revealing her Nazi past is enough for her to stop being friendly and go on a rampage to kill her. She only cares about advancing her own agenda. Once she ends up burned and crippled by Ryan and Homelander rejects her Nazi ideals, she'd rather kill herself than change her ways.

Female Sociopath List

[glapplebloom]

I saw SatAM trending because of this, so why not give it my thoughts.

SatAM is one of the first animated series for Sonic the Hedgehog. Since this was the 90s and only two games were released at the time with no dedicated cutscenes, DiC took this concept and ran wild in two different directions. While Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was more cartoony, SatAM was a serious story. Serious in kids standards at least.

Dr. Robotnik has taken over Mobotropolis and it is up to Sonic and the Freedom Fighters to stop him from taking over the world. It was so popular, it inspired Archie Sonic to continue making comics after 50 issues. Though by that point any similarities to SatAM were surface level. So the question remains: should Sega bring back the Freedom Fighters into the Main Sonic line proper? Let’s look at the Reasons I can see for and against it.

SEGA should bring back the Freedom Fighters

Popularity: First premiering in 1993, fans of them are still talking about them to this day. The fact that SatAM was trending in 2024 definitely shows that there are still people willing to support these characters.

IDW: They would be super easy to establish into the Main Series thanks to IDW. Since those comics are considered canon, there could be an issue where the opposite side of the Restoration is having troubles and only Sonic can reach them in time. You can introduce them properly there.

Ian Flynn: Ian Flynn loves them and when he was working with Archie he did great things with them. He fixed the issues that they were having before the reboot and made them fit well with the more focused Game Canon in the Reboot. And he’s the current Head Writer of the Sega Games. 

Speed Battles: Look at how easy it is to add characters in this game. They had IDW Exclusive Characters, characters from Sonic Prime, the Sonic Movie versions, even the Lego Versions. They can easily insert the SatAM Cast in here.

Money Making: While I don’t know if they could print the stories that don't have Penders involvement, they could for Ian Flynn’s work. And that means if they can work on an agreement, we could have reprints of those Archie Comics again. And they can use those reprints to reintroduce new fans into these characters so when they do show up in IDW, they can get a leg up.

SEGA shouldn’t bring them back

Archie: While plenty of people who are supporting them are fans of SatAM, I have a feeling a good majority of them are actually following the Archie Version of the Freedom Fighters. And considering how the reboot got looked upon, I can see those who grew up with the comics not liking any direction they would take that isn’t one to one.

Redesigns: Despite the Reboot doing a great job redesigning them to fit more Game Canon, they would have to redesign them again to ensure they don’t look similar to their Archie designs. So there could be a chance people may not be able to recognize them as the Freedom Fighters when they first look at them.

Why not New: Sadly, regardless if they try to keep them as true as possible or give them the Breezie treatment, you probably can get more mileage if you just make a brand new character. They could probably do the same ideas as the Freedom Fighters and possibly more.

Jealousy: By bringing in the SatAM crew, you may get similar people rallying for others from other Sonic cartoons and wondering why not them. I know there are plenty of Sonic X fans who would love to see Tails’ best shipmate.

The Games: Sonic has a large cast of characters. The most we’ve seen recently was Murder Mystery. Whisper and Tangle only showed up in Sonic Forces Speed Battle, a mobile game where adding characters is the sales pitch. The last time they made a game where each character just wasn’t just a different version of the Sonic gameplay was Sonic Unleashed, and they were both Sonic.

My Stance?

Honestly, I’m not sure. I bet if Ian Flynn could bring them back to the Sonic Universe through IDW he would do a great job with them. Then again, I do like what he’s doing now. Belle’s tragic story. Surge and Kitsunami being the Sonic version of the Androids. The Diamond Cutters Interpersonal Relationships that Mimic is hoping to destroy. To add these characters now when we got two of these stories going on right now maybe is asking too much. Maybe when all of that is settled. And I’m still waiting for Sticks the Jungle Badger to return. So far it was just a name drop. And that was in 2022. 

But what about in a game? While I definitely can see ideas for a game using those characters, Sega just released Sonic Frontiers in 2022 and Sonic Superstars 2023. Those are good first steps for those types of gameplay. And they’re going to take a while since they’re working on Sonic X Shadow Generations now. If they would, I wouldn’t trust them until they iron out the Frontiers formula. 

[laresearchette]

Sunday, October 08, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: 90 DAY FIANCÉ (TLC Canada) 8:00pm THE CIRCUS (Crave) 8:30pm LAST STOP LARRIMAH: MURDER DOWN UNDER (HBO Canada) 9:00pm 90 DAY FIANCÉ: PILLOW TALK (TLC Canada) 11:00pm THE TURNING POINT: MARTHA'S VINEYARD V. DESANTIS (MSNBC) 11:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT?: ICE AIRPORT ALASKA (TBD - Smithsonian Channel) THE VENICE MURDERS (TBD - Lifetime Canada) THE CAINE MUTINY COURT-MARTIAL (TBD)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA ARODON DIAMOND IN THE SKY LISTENING EARS SURVIVAL OF JELILI

CRAVE TV LAST STOP LARRIMAH

NFL FOOTBALL (TSN4) 9:30am: Jaguars vs. Bills (TSN/TSN4) 1:00pm: Giants vs. Dolphins (TSN/TSN4) 4:00pm: Eagles vs. Rams (TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 8:20pm: Cowboys vs. 49ers

MEN’S RUGBY WORLD CUP (TSN2) 11:45am: Tonga vs. Romania

NBA BASKETBALL (SN Now) 1:00pm: Bulls vs. Bucks (SN1) 8:00pm: Kings vs. Raptors (SN Now) 8:00pm: Pacers vs. Grizzlies

WNBA BASKETBALL (SN1) 3:00pm: Liberty vs. Aces - Game #1

MLB BASEBALL (SN) 4:00pm: ALDS - Rangers vs. Orioles - Game #2 (SN) 3:00pm: ALDS - Twins vs. Astros - Game #2

HEARTLAND (CBC) 7:00pm: Amy and Jack retrain Edwin's horse for carriage racing, bringing Amy and Edwin closer; Logan takes on his first client horse; election night arrives for Lou just as the family faces a difficult loss…OH NO! SAVE YOURSELF HORSIE!

THE BIG BAKE (Food Network Canada) 7:00pm: Fun and games turn to frights as host Brad Smith challenges the baking teams to sew up a win with a dangerous doll cake that toys with judges Ron Ben-Israel, Eddie Jackson and Danni Rose.

THE GREAT CANADIAN BAKING SHOW (CBC) 8:00pm: It's Bread Week once again, and the nine remaining bakers knead to prove their bread-iness.

CRUELLA (CTV2) 8:00pm: Estella is a young and clever grifter who's determined to make a name for herself in the fashion world. However, when Estella befriends fashion legend Baroness von Hellman, she embraces her wicked side to become the raucous and revenge-bent Cruella.

BIG LIES IN A SMALL TOWN (Lifetime Canada) 8:00pm: Young mother Rachel frantically searches for her teen daughter, Hannah, after their car crashes outside a small town; people die mysteriously in Rachel's wake as she gets closer to finding out that the local doctor kidnapped her daughter.

SKYMED (CBC) 9:00pm: As the SkyMed crew wait for their fallen team member to wake up, Crystal starts to find her feet as a medical student, and a secret from the past threatens Nowak and Tristan's relationship.

BRYAN'S ALL IN (HGTV Canada) 9:00pm/10:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): City slickers turned country boys, Ryan and Taylor, need Bryan's help to transform their live-and-work farm into a show-stopping distillery and bar; they need to create a venue that stands apart from the competition. In Episode Two, new-generation farmers, Samantha and Paul, have big dreams for their rural business; they want to create a farm stand to sell their home-grown products, but also to give local artisans a place to sell their goods.

EUROPE’S HIDDEN WONDERS (Nat Geo Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): The filmmaker showcases the natural wonders of Germany, from the peaks of the Bavarian Alps to the coasts of the North and Baltic Seas.

WHEN CALLS THE HEART (Super Channel Heart and Home) 9:00pm: Lucas is the talk of Hope Valley; Elizabeth and the whole town rally around him, but everyone still worries it won't be enough to stop the governor.

CLEAN SWEEP (Super Channel Fuse) 9:00pm: The pressure builds on all fronts as Shelly is identified as the mysterious woman at the crime scene; she considers fleeing, but she would never leave her kids.

BELLE COLLECTIVE (OWN Canada) 10:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Latrice, Lateshia, Gucci and Tambra confront their relationship issues head on.

THE WINTER KING (Crave) 11:00pm: Arthur and the tribe kings enter peace talks; Arthur meets Guinevere, Ceinwyn's lady-in-waiting, while traveling.

[litcityblues]

'Transformers: Age of Extinction --A Review

Look, I'm not naive. No one is going to mistake a Transformers movie for high art- that's not what these movies are for. You get some popcorn, you sit down, you get a frosty beverage and you watch gigantic metal robots beat the living fuck out of each for a couple of hours and you have a moderately entertaining time. Similarly, this is a Michael Bay movie. He is many things, but Martin Scorsese he is not and his movies tend to be a visual assault on the senses for a couple of hours and I'll give him this: he has a distinct visual style. Things like 'plot' and 'acting', if they happen are just bonuses.

Medium Spawn Jr. has become obsessed with these movies and, since he's five and the wife was having her book club downstairs while I wanted to watch Ahsoka, he wanted to watch Transformers: Age of Extinction, so I, being the good parent that I am, granted his wish, sat down and watched this movie.

I am amazed by this movie. I am amazed that it grossed $1.104 billion dollars at the box office. I am amazed that it somehow managed to get Stanley Tucci, Mark Wahlberg, Kelsey Grammer, and Titus Welliver to agree to be in it-- though in their defense, actors have to eat and pay their bills, so I can't fault them for that.

This movie opens by explaining that 'The Creators' (whoever they are) dumped a bunch of 'seeds' all over the Earth 65 million years ago and wiped out the dinosaurs- providing the viewer with a big, gigantic tease that perhaps the Dinobots are involved in this movie, but viewer, prepare yourself for disappointment because they don't really feature all that much at all.

In the present day, it turns out the Autobots have been driven underground following the Battle of Chicago because humanity panicked and didn't want to make distinctions between the 'good robots' and the 'bad robots' and a CIA Black Ops Unit has teamed up with a Cybertronian bounty hunter to find the survivors.

Meanwhile, in Texas- because that's where you want to put Mark Wahlberg if he's in a movie. Texas. Inventor Cade Yeager is struggling to keep his house and make money. (I'll be honest: his whole character arc would have worked a lot better if he had been a mechanic who is a would-be inventor in Boston, but hey. Choices were made.) He's a single father to Tessa (Nicola Peitz) and because he was a teen Dad, he's super overprotective and doesn't want Tessa dating.

Naturally, this means that she is.

Look, I have nothing against Nicola Peitz. She does well enough with the material she's given to work with, but there is very much, "What if we take Megan Fox's character from the first movie, dress her the same way, make her blonde, and give her pink lipstick" thing going on here that is just, well, lazy. If we must keep making these movies, can we try a different type of female character? Just to see what happens?

One thing leads to another and Cade finds an abandoned truck that turns out to be Optimus Prime and his well-meaning associate/employee Lucas Flannery (T.J. Miller) notifies the government that they might have found an Autobot in hopes of getting the reward money and, more to the point, making some actual money. That brings the bad guys and bounty hunters and things start exploding- and when anything explodes in this movie, it seems to set off fireworks as well, Optimus starts fighting and they are rescued in the nick of time by Tessa's secret boyfriend, the rally car driver, Shane (Jack Reynor.)

Craziest thing ever: according to the wiki-page for this movie, he's supposed to be Irish, but you could have fooled me because I didn't pick up on that at all.

Also, in a super-endearing moment when over-protective Dad, Cade finds out that Shane is 20 and Tessa is 17 and objects to that for obvious, potential statutory rape reasons, Shane whips out an actual, laminated copy of Texas' Romeo and Juliet law and smugly informs Cade that they had a pre-existing foundation for their relationship so it's not statutory rape at all. (If you carry around a laminated copy of a law to prove that your relationship isn't, well, creepy and potentially illegal, perhaps you should date someone your own age. Just saying.)

There are the usual plot points, action shots, robot fights, and product placement that's about as subtle as a brick to the back of the head. (Mark Wahlberg angrily drinks a Bud Light at one point and yells at a motorist which is hilarious in today's context.)

But what really matters isn't how this movie ends, it's where this movie ends, because of a creative decision that I'm sure got every studio executive involved in this movie absolutely slobbering with glee, they find a reason to go to China and in a quest to get that sweet, sweet, Chinese box office money.

Banking on the fact that American audiences will no absolutely nothing about Chinese geography and that Chinese audiences will just be excited to see giant robot fights, nothing makes sense. They land in Shanghai. Optimus goes off- literally flies with nary a problem, which I'm sure the People's Liberation Air Force just kind of shrugged and said, 'Eh, it's a gigantic flying robot. Who cares?'- to noted quiet and obscure part of China, Tianmen Mountain National Park to wake up the Dinobots- who were found at the beginning of the movie in ice like in Greenland or some shit, but are now somehow in China. Characters blow up a factory in Shanghai but somehow decide that they have to get to Hong Kong- 700 miles away, but I'm sure easier to film in at the time.

There is a big showdown in Hong Kong, including the 'not at all insisted upon by the Chinese government' lines of a Hong Kong Police Officer saying 'We'll need help from the Central Government!' and the heroic defense minister- finally noticing that there are gigantic robots wrecking up the place assuring everyone, 'The Central Government will always defend Hong Kong!" This movie was made in 2014, well before the Chinese government got tired of the whole democracy business and crushed it in Hong Kong, but man do those lines hit differently today. The Dinobots (remember them?) show up to save the day and Optimus is riding one of them and it's kind of cool, but other than that, they serve their purpose as a largely meaningless plot point. Just for kicks- again, as subtle as a brick to the back of the head- we see a blown-up bus with a Victoria's Secret ad featured on it and just to remind audiences that they're in China, Stanley Tucci's character gets pissed that they get trapped in a store with a lot of windows and sweeps a table clear of mah-jong tiles.

The greatest crime of all? Somehow this movie is 2 HOURS AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES LONG.

My Grade: * out of ****. Do not watch this movie, unless you enjoy hate-watching movies, then you'll have a great time.