#super invalidating and insensitive

[ritternacht]

sometimes I see ace positivity and I get excited for two seconds before remembering my experience in my HS queer club where the very first fucking meeting I attended they were discoursing about whether demisexuality is """valid""" and called it stupid and I just stormed out of the room angry crying and never attended another meeting

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being upset that my best friend slept with my recent ex and then told me about it in a group chat with multiple people?

I dated someone and we were super close, I was devastated when we broke up. One week later, my best friend initiated a FWB relationship, and told everyone in our friend group about it but me. About three weeks into their arrangement, the friend told me about it by writing in our group chat, "When you have to take a COVID test so that [my ex's name] can fuck you again smh." I DM'd them to ask what that was about and they told me about their arrangement, and also that I was the only person in the friend group who hadn't known the day it began.

Obviously I was upset both by their arrangement and by their method of telling me, which I thought was insensitive. I didn't want to overreact, though, so I didn't tell them I was upset, just said "congratulations" and acted normal. I wanted time to think it over before deciding what to say to the friend, if anything. The friend didn't notice, but my ex was more perceptive, and figured out that I was hiding some feelings. I told them that I was upset by the situation but that I wanted to think about it and calm down before talking about it, and to please not tell the friend that I was upset.

The very next day, the friend sent me a long ass email - like a 500 word essay - saying that my ex had told them I was upset despite my request to keep it between us, detailing all the reasons why THEY thought I might be upset, and then invalidating every single possible reason using logic that boiled down to "I'm not obligated to care about your feelings, your feelings are illogical, and actually by being upset at all youre being oversensitive and controlling." They ended the email by saying they never wanted to speak to me again.

I know that people are entitled to having relationships with whoever they want, and I wasn't angry at them for that. I was wounded, but I would've gotten over it. It was the way they handled all of the communication - they told me about it when I was still grieving the breakup instead of waiting until I was doing a bit better, told me in a group chat by making a joke instead of even sending me a private text message, AND told me that everyone in our friend group had known already except me. On top of that, upon finding out I was upset, they didn't even ask me about it or wait for me to reach out - they pre-decided why I could be upset and that I had no right to be, without even hearing my point of view. It just seemed as though they were trying to be as insensitive and calloused as they possibly could. Am I in the wrong here?

What are these acronyms?

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Anakin: Why I relate to him

I’m going to change gears a bit from my usual anime/Ben 10 posts to talk about Anakin. I had a period where I pretended to hate him and was super pro Jedi to try and fit in with that fandom. I have changed a lot of my opinions since then. While I’m still not a huge fan of him, my opinion has softened greatly. A lot of Jedi stans act like all people who sympathize with him are conservatives who think you need a 50s nuclear family to be happy and hate Buddhism or aroace people. So I am going to share why I relate to this man’s struggles as a progressive, transgender neurodivergent Asian American.

A lot of people view Anakin in AOTC as just whiny and ungrateful. While the Tusken massacre was wrong, I can emphasize with his anger towards Obi Wan. I have felt belittled, over patronized and gaslit by my father, as well as yelled at. While Anakin was being disrespectful in that scene from AOTC where he reunites with Padme, the way Obi Wan handled it was uncalled for. He should have pulled Anakin aside to let him know there’s a time and place for everything, not humiliate him in front of their hosts.

I’ve made small mistakes due to my autism and dad would make a big deal out of it and tell me “we need to work on your awareness” in front of everyone there. I can also relate to that “he’s jealous! He’s holding me back” scene as someone who wants more out of life and feel like my dad is getting in my way. That scene also reminds me of how a lot of parents treat their kids for having an “attitude” or “talking back” when they’re just trying to explain themselves, are having a bad day or have a different opinion. I’ve also been forced to apologize for lashing out at people who’ve bullied me like in that comic.

When Jedi apologists talk about how Anakin was just greedy for not wanting to share his feelings with Obi Wan or the council, I get the feeling that they’ve had a fairly privileged upbringing. I’ve had trouble opening up to my dad because of how dismissive or terrifying he could be in the past. As a trans person, I’ve had to prepare for the worst possible outcomes and while my coming out went better than I expected, he just invalidated all my fears and acted like I was wrong for not telling him when he did little to provide a safe space, never apologizing for insensitive things he said. Similarly, fans expect Anakin to tell Obi Wan about his marriage despite all the dismissive behavior from him as well as faking his death and doing little to help Ahsoka. People who’ve been gaslit or dismissed for their feelings often resort to keeping secrets as a safety measure.

A child shouldn’t be expected to tell adults anything until they prove they can be trusted. Whenever I talk about my issues with my childhood, people dismiss it as legitimate discipline or tough love, which is another reason why I feel uncomfortable when Jedi apologists act like Kenobi was a good parent. People only see abuse if it’s physical or sexual, but never care or notice if it’s more subtle or emotional. Anakin recognized that Kenobi’s training methods wouldn’t be good for Ahsoka which is why he acts more like Shmi when teaching Ahsoka. My dad is also very sarcastic and is aware of my autism, even praising it at times, but expects me to just understand his “jokes” or insensitive comments.

People say you can’t critique the Jedi because they’re based off eastern philosophy but are they really that different from conservative evangelicals? Obi Wan straight up tells Anakin he can have romantic feelings but can’t act on them. Fans claim Anakin chose to get married and it was on him for not just leaving. I remember being the “weird” kid in a community that was very conservative (family, faith and football) who felt like I couldn’t talk about my interests without being shamed, especially after coming out. I can also emphasize with wanting to leave but feeling an obligation to stay because the people who’ve hurt me do love me and it being complicated.

I think a lot of people who dismiss Obi Wan’s insensitive remarks or child rearing methods are looking at it from an adult’s perspective, since they aren’t bothered by it as much. Adults can yell at, gaslight, spank or humiliate their kids, then act like nothing happened, but when you’re a child, it sticks with you, and is irritating when they try to be “buddy-buddy” with you later. I am also someone who struggles a lot with sarcasm and struggle with letting go of negative emotions because it keeps happening.

This is that post I talked about where I asked a popular Jedi stan their views on adoption. I’m not anti adoption, mind you. I felt Matilda, Suzume and Kung Fu Panda tackled it well with sensitivity. I responded with decency and acted like I agreed with them. But something about their response gave me the ick. I don’t know why but I do have a desire to find my birth mother, eventually. Is it really wrong to worry about your mother if she could be suffering, and you can’t do anything to help? It kind of confirms that a lot of Jedi apologists come from privileged upbringings. I also felt like I had to ask permission to enjoy media that went against the Jedi fandom’s beliefs.

I think that wraps up why I relate to this character even if I don’t agree with his actions. People who say he was just lazy or selfish don’t seem like they understand much about human psychology and abuse and how even “small” things can build up and make a child distrust the adults in their life. I worry a bit about when they become parents and what how their kids will end up. A lot of kids are shamed for not wanting to share their emotions when they have good reasons to keep secrets. How would Jedi stans respond to that? They only care about abuse if it’s physical which is why they make a big deal out of that training scene from TOTJ or act like Anakin abused Rex when throwing him off that wall on Geonosis.

[nogoawaytism]

My second thingy for Nitpick November, because I'm not gonna do this consistently the way God intended.

It's just so... interesting to hear RWBY stans bitch about any sort of criticism regarding how certain male characters are treated. Apparently if any of us commit the unforgiveable sin of saying something like "I wish Sun/Adam/Mercury/Ironwood was treated better by the narrative + explored the unique themes that are a part of their identity as characters." rwby stans freak the fuck out and start whining about how RWDE only wants a show about a white male character. And I'm like

*looks at the vast majority of the cast, especially the heroes*

*looks at V9*

It's just so... interesting how these double standards work, because I guess a white male character getting the spotlight is ok when it's Miles's self-insert.

Meanwhile, Sun has a Chinese allusion despite being a blonde, Ironwood was modeled after Jason Rose who is half Asian (Oh wait, I bet we don't count mixed people). Interesting.

Also, Sun is an established, in-universe minority, an abuse victim thanks to Blake, which is frequently downplayed because Blake is a girl and a main character, and is therefore perfect, and Sun is evil because he isn't psychic, and expressed attraction to a main character. How evil.

Also, Ironwood is a veteran with PTSD facing a horrible situation, a triple amputee, and the only one of the cast who actually has a feasible plan. Oh wait, losing his arm made him lose his humanity, what an evil bastard. He probably lost over half his body on purpose.

Also, Adam is an established, in-universe minority, a former child slave, who has the SCHNEE FUCKING DUST COMPANY logo burned onto his fucking face. Adam should be a good faunus, and not complain at all about faunus oppression, otherwise he's a fucking nazi.

Also, Mercury was trained for an extremely dangerous job as a young child, and abused so badly to the point where he LOST BOTH LEGS. Man, white men really do be the worst.

Yes, two of these characters are villains, and yes, we should hold people accountable for their actions instead of inborn characteristics. Oh wait, y'all already did that when you bitched about them being "white men", while almost every important non-white character has been presented as a villain at some point, and the two non-white characters in our main cast, Ren and Oscar get treated so poorly compared to the other heroes. Sure, complain about how RWDE "wants to center white men" while Ren's mental state and feelings are invalidated at every turn. Sure, complain about how RWDE "wants to center white men" while Oscar the literal child that got dragged into this war is constantly the one bearing the brunt of physical abuse that we haven't seen our other characters experience + half of that physical abuse is by characters who ARE heroes and by Hazel who got the last-minute redemption treatment. Sure, complain about how RWDE "wants to center white men" while y'all treat this show like the best shit to happen to media since Charles Dickens when *checks notes* it's written by white men, which isn't inherently bad in my opinion, but in this case they write every fucking issue in this show in such an insensitive light, and are still horrible xenophobic people. Miles and Kerry ARE stereotypical horrible white men, but y'all still defend their stupid writing while bitching about white men abused by the narrative.

Oh, and might I add: the fuckers saying this stan Coco. I wonder what her allusion is.

So you mean to tell me, that expressing just a little bit of tact about Adam being a branded child slave, or Ironwood losing three limbs and being traumatized, or Mercury being abused and losing his legs, is super duper evil, but this Nazi insert is an absolute slay queen. Y'all really made a doodoo with this one, whoopsies!

Anyway, take the historic moment before Mercury rightfully whooped this Discord light mode-looking mf who's also a Nazi:

[cogaytes]

hey keepblr i'm exhausted so let's chat.

all of you who like to call forkle/leto creepy or imply that anything he does towards sophie could be read/intended as potentially sexual please kindly shut the fuck up!! it is actually incredibly fucking insensitive to those of us who have experienced sexual trauma to talk about him like he's a pedophile instead of, like, someone who sees her as family and would never ever want to hurt her. that is a wiiiiiide jump you are making and it is a little bit invalidating to me as a csa survivor that you are equating him to an actual predator.

also!! tag your motherfucking neg! some of us have hyperfixations or personal reasons for being attached to characters and it is exhausting to see them constantly shit on! this also applies to discord servers; put your bashing in a discourse channel or keep it to dms so that those of us who like that character don't have to deal with it please and thank you 🥰

i am probably coming off as super aggressive and rude and i don't intend to shit on folks or direct this at anyone in particular. but as someone who's in this fandom to find joy, it is really fucking exhausting to log on and come across constant bashing of characters that bring me joy to headcanon/write about, especially when it starts diving into low key triggering implications

anyway. back to tiergan angst hours

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Chapter 27 of ACOWAR is a goddamn masterclass in Rhys fucking up, but the most absolutely unhinged, uncalled for, and uncool moment of his entire attempt to get Mor to be cool with him invalidating her trauma and the betrayal of him *springing goddamn Eris Vanserra on her in the Hewn City* is this one:

This exceeds the bounds of usefulness and leaps like a fucking traumatized gazelle into trauma Olympics. And alpha male Rhys over here is like, "I have the biggest, hardest trauma dick you have ever fucking seen, and I will stick in BACK IN THE VAGINA DENTATA if I have to in order to protect you all."

In case the sarcasm above didn't make it abundantly clear, this is peak toxic masculinity. It's also inherently invalidating Mor's trauma and her desire to not be further traumatized for the good of the group, which is also a SUPER TOXIC GROUP DYNAMIC. There's taking one for the team and then there's "Why can't you just be cool already and let us hurt you more?" There's also "I would take unlimited hits for all of you and I can't believe you're being so ungrateful and unwilling to do the same," which...FOR FUCKS SAKE RHYSAND, SEE A THERAPIST.

Mor might have worded her example a little poorly, but she is genuinely asking for Rhys to take a second, empathize, and acknowledge her feelings. And if he'd taken a second and DONE THAT, instead of going off on her for not being willing to take trauma points she didn't consent to or get warned about in advance, they might have been able to come to "I did a shitty thing and I'd feel awful too, but here's why I did it and I'm sorry" instead of insensitive, reactionary bullshit that damaged that relationship further because Rhys refused to admit that he was wrong.

And I'm not letting his ass off the hook just because Amren shamed it into apologizing. "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it here. This reflects expectations that are clearly not shared by the group--and shouldn't be, because again, TAKING ALL THE BULLETS IS A BAD EXPECTATION--and the mismatched expectations need to be addressed. Also, Mor needs some goddamn support right now. So does Rhys, if I'm being fair and generous (I do not want to be, because he was a dick about it). This needs to be addressed in more depth than Amren shaming Rhys into apologizing right before he then drops the "Oh hey, I also hid crucial info from you too" speech that has Azriel and Cassian getting ready to evacuate the house.

The kicker here? This did not need to devolve into trauma Olympics. Rhys has more than enough experience to understand that he made a dick move and handled it badly, and the fact that he went full-on reactionary when called on it? Like, this was starting to read like a Feyre/Tamlin scene. Rhys has the experience and knowledge to FUCKING KNOW BETTER. The fact that it got to this point is on him and he needs to step back and reassess. He's not going to, but he needs to, and I am falling off the Feysand train HARD here.

[fakeshibe]

opened twitter today and literally half of the posts on my timeline were biphobia, which just kinda sucks to have the first thing you see on twitter that day be people who don’t even know me telling me i’m wrong about my own sexuality, or saying im not bi im just in denial about comp-het or blaming bi people for the biphobia they face and invalidating the homophobia they face because ‘you can just chose to be in a straight passing relationship’ 🫠

which… that’s really not how it works lol, like bisexuality doesn’t mean you just pick who you like and then get feelings for them, it works just the same as literally any other orientation and i thought that would’ve been common knowledge (although maybe i’m being too generous by assuming genuine ignorance there instead of deliberate obtuseness)

it’s not just online, people feel so comfortable being casually biphobic irl. like, i don’t get comments on it super often, but i’ve had a couple of comments made (mostly by other queer people!!) that are just super invalidating or insensitive things to say. but because they’re not being directly homophobic they don’t see it as being an actually fucked up thing to say.

there’s been a couple of things that i’ve laughed im off in the moment, or like gone away from the conversation and told someone else ‘hey listen to this funny thing my friend said’ only to realise days or weeks later that they were actually just saying something fucked up lol

just let me be bisexual in peace, im literally just chilling i don’t see what the issue is

[kpophubb]

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ 12:20am ✉️#4

original song 🎧

my guilty pleasure these days

for you > 🔥

LOVEU SUNSHINE ☀️ thank y for always blighting my days

🐁 🥱 😴 🫂

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡…hello baby🥺🫶🏻💗 I love hearing from you so much especially when you write super long letters..it fills me with joy to read each line. I love being talked to. I always open asks first thing in the morning so they always brighten up my day. And don’t feel burdened naurr that I always have to spend time replying to all your lines 😭 it’s just that I love paying attention to every detail <3 I’m a small things person. And yk I faced this myself when I talk about various things and the other person only replies to a few topics and ignores the other ones..I feel hurt ( ¿ ) like yk sometimes I leave some important feelings in those ignored topics..ofc I don’t blame them cause I talk TOO MUCH at a time but yeah I don’t wanna come off as that insensitive to anyone else 💔 thus I pay attention to each word you say cause I never know which one weighs how much value to you. 🤍

♡…and oh that anon T-T nah babes, don’t worry I didn’t think of anything tbh. Sometimes misinterpretation happens bc we have different perspectives and are different individuals so it really is okay. As long as I’m clear and not misunderstood I’m fine with it. Huh..and about my bestie 🫶🏻 yep lol nth happened between us I was just worried of being distanced due to physical separation but that’s fine now! I can totally understand about the mutual bias thing🥲 I love being mutual biased with my friends when it comes to jungwon but uhm..,, you know I kinda feel sad if I ever make a jake biased friend OFC NOT BC HE IS MINE OR IM DELUSIONAL NO HE ISN’T AND WILL NEVER BE, but some part of me stings :( bc I realize how my love for him is so inferior and he’s loved by many other Incredible people and that makes my feelings feel small and invalid 💔 just normal human emotions bc I’m too attached to him..

♡…I’d love to have a pajama party with you omg😭 I love comfy late night sleepovers, we will have lots of snacks, cookies and chocolates and use a lot of skincare and give eachother manicure 💅 and pedicures lol. And pls let’s try to bake brownies and talk a lot about kpop and life. 🤍 it’d be GOALS, I REPEAT LITERAL GOALS to have a pajama party w hyunlix and us 😍🙈 aahh, just thinking about it makes me giddy. And haha I know you love soobinie, if we bring him let’s bring beomgyu too😈 bc I love his sense of humour and he makes me laugh sm. (tho the party will turn into utter chaos in 1 second if we bring him lol.)

♡…about the face reveal thing NO BABY I didn’t mean to make u scroll, I did them many times and put them up for some time so I asked bc I was wondering if you saw THEN. I didn’t mean finding out now 😭 I’m so sorry that due to the miscommunication I wasted so much of your time 💔

♡…I can understand hun, cause I always feel like shit before my period comes. My stomach and back hurt and I feel so negative and emotional, I always end up crying so much. And the health complications and mood swings you said :( awh my poor baby. Pls take extra care of yourself when u go through the tough week. 💗 you deserve to be fed and patted when you feel sick like that, I wish I could take care of u all the time. <3

♡…about the making friends in your 20’s thing, it’s kinda upsetting to admit but a friend in 20’s is never a guarantee. You know, we all get so busy with life- work, academics, responsibilities and so many complex emotions that we can’t bond that deeply with people then. Ofc some people do end up making genuine soulmate friends in their 20’s and they’re lucky. But I feel like the high school and childhood friends you grow and glow with, they know you deeply and have been through your highs and lows that’s why they’re your more real friends. Idk this is just my opinion.

♡…ikr..my way to escape is kpop too. I always feel so welcomed by my idols, I always find so much validation and feel so accepted and loved by them. It’s like coming home after a tiring day, and tho it’s stupid to many people who think how can we find comfort in people who don’t even know we exist, idk how to explain them this peaceful feeling of being able to rest when you’re in their presence. They’re the place of healing for me 🫶🏻 :’) and pls people are SO MEAN when it comes to kpop istg. (It is sometimes bc of the toxic twt fan behaviours and wars that influence people outside kpop to think that kpop is all about drama and obsessed delusional fans) but you know I hate it when people judge kpop idols based on their looks,, calling them “girly” and shit. They really piss me off. No wonder I never tell or reveal anyone I like kpop (not cause I’m not proud of it IM SO PROUD OF ALL MY IDOLS) but bc I do not want to attract negative comments and then argue baselessly with antis who never understand. I’ve been in this kinda discrimination since forever, cause I grew up liking anime and I heard so many criticism for it calling anime “Japanese cartoons” and calling people who like it “childish and nerdy.” I mean, I feel like all the hate towards Asian subjects exist because they’re Asian. You know the Asian racism in the world that I find really meaningless to begin with.

♡…omg that kinda Valentine’s Day would have been perfect 🥺 I bet hyunnie would show up with a painting he made specially for you with a love note 💗 and roses. How cute. You’d be laughing you said,, but had the one I loved shown up with roses for me, I’d be weeping instantly. First I’d be in shock, bc I don’t think anyone would ever bring me my fav flowers for me without me telling them to and that too..on Valentine’s Day. And second, being shown love gestures from the one you love unconditionally must be so special.. I don’t know how that would have felt but today I woke up to Jake’s posts and pictures and I already feel like the happiest and best thing to walk on this planet earth bc I’ve been smiling nonstop and feel so happy🥹

♡… also anonie there’s kinda a special secret I want to tell u maybe someday! Like show u something special about myself that means a lot to me 💗🙈🥰 and if you don’t mind me asking baby, I’m turning 20 this year; what age are you turning this year? (FEEL FREE TO NOT ANSWER IF YOU DONT WANT TO OR FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE HUN)

♡…pls baby don’t type as you walk🥺 I feel so scared what if you bump into a car or person and get hurt 💔 you might even attract creepy stalkers or a phone thief if you’re too distracted!! T-T (I pray that never happens) and ikr. Men🙄 I don’t trust them at all. I know there are some good men in this world, but mostly I met and saw around me bad men who just take advantage of you, who pretend to be nice people and then discard you and disregard your feelings. That’s so upsetting that’s why I stay away from them as much as I can. I stay away from PEOPLE in general as much as I can bc people really be scary af😭 </3

♡… HMM OMG ANONIE that’s a super hard question KFC or McDonald’s 😨 I love both so much 😍 it’s like if I get kfc for lunch, I’ll have to get McDonald’s for dinner then and vice versa!! Kfc zinger burgers are the best burgers to exist for me 🫶🏻 but then McDonald’s fries are the tastiest fries in the world so McDonald’s wins by .5 since Fries are my favourite food 🍟 hahahahhahahahahaha. ( they give so much fries and the people I go w/ can never finish theirs, so I remember how everytime I finish the whole tray of fries by myself and rejoice from contentment!! )

♡…and your grandma aww 🥺 I’m so happy to hear baby that you finally got to talk with her! <3 I can understand how hard it must be to stay away from a precious family member and always yearning to be close to them and help them during the worst times. So it fills me with relief that you guys contacted recently! And omg she’s felix biased💗🥹 your grandma and I would get along, huh!! ;) <3 haha the relationship you have w her is so cute. It’s so heart warming to hear you can feel accepted in her presence no matter what and she even approved of her grandson-in-law (our hyunnie so yaay 🎉)

♡…awh baby I can totally get how intimidating a change can seem. But don’t be afraid, okay? Cause changes are sometimes for the better. And don’t fear you’re gonna lose yourself if you try to change..you know the person in the core of your heart is always gonna be the same. 💗 embrace the new challenges and let it mould you into a stronger and more amazing version of you. You’re not becoming someone else. You’re becoming a BETTER VERSION OF YOU. Think of it like that and you will see how relieved you feel.

♡..and baby don’t feel bad or fear about having so many traumas. You see scars and emotional trauma and distress are something that all people have- some have worse some have slightly better but none of that defines us. They are something we never truly recover from, they just become less intense with time bc we just learn to live with them. At one point in your life in the future, you will look back and be glad that you went through certain things and met some certain people who gave u bad feelings cause if you never met them, you’d never be who you are then and you’d never have had turned out the way you would. Perhaps, you’d turn out as a different person and who knows..maybe your life would have been better in the present but in the future it would have been hard bc you wouldn’t be mentally strong enough. All the incidents that happened atleast shaped you into a stronger and wiser person. :’) 💕

♡….idk where you are rn or know exactly the things you went through to get here, but I know it took a lot in you and it was rough. That’s why I keep reminding you again and again that you’re amazing and you’re doing enough, so rest assured baby, cause better things await you. One day, you will be brave enough to brace yourself for coming where you have. 💓 I pray and hope I’m there to applaud 👏🏻 you then.

♡..now just some random fillers at the end. The cookies u attached they look so tasty😭😍 I wanna go nomnom bc they’re making my mouth water..</3 I love choco chip cookies. (AND WHY THE FELIX AB PICTURE WHAT THE HELL I ALMOST SCREAMED) and something I wanted to say at the end bc it feels super special to me..- I love the way you call me sunshine. It makes me feel so validated and appreciated on the inside, cause it’s always been a dream of mine to be someone who can be a light in other people’s lives. I always yearned to be addressed as “sunshine” with love by people dear to me someday, and now that it’s happening, it brims my eyes with the happiest tears. I really, really, really love you. 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘ ♡♡♡

“When I look at you, I feel like I have another reason to live.”

[my-patron-saint-is-jimmy]

Trying really hard not to be an invalidating dick to my mum cause she's losing it cause it's cold in the house and she's triggered but like,,,, when I had to stay with them in their new house next to the ocean last winter, I was put in quite literally the coldest dampest fucking room in the whole house with a tiny area heater. We have a fireplace here and multiple decent oil heaters as well as carpeted flooring, decent windows, and less drafts (my room still being the coldest of the bedrooms because my outside wall that I sleep against has rotted away). The room they fucking put me in didn't have a ceiling, no insulation in the upper rafters or floor, and under the floor was totally open so every single fucking time the wind blew, any heat that I had managed to accumulate was taken away. I had to sleep with I shit you not 5 fucking heavy knit blankets and comforters as well as about 3 cats a night to be warm. I had blood vessels regularly popping in my feet because of the cold. There weren't any rugs either. They got to be upstairs with a good on-demand heater in their room, an insulated roof, a door that shut properly, decent windows, each other, and any heat that was downstairs rose up to them.

So excuse me for being a bit insensitive when she's super upset about this dry, chilly (at worst) place being too fucking cold. Slippers and a sweater are more than enough to keep you warm here, this is a fucking luxury compared to what I had to live in at their house.

[leviathans-watching]

if it isn't too much to request, could we get a more gender neutral thing with the MC being on their period? i'm on mine right now and it's been hard to find comfort writing that isn't for female readers which ESPECIALLY sucks because im. well. Not A Girl dhwhs

AH but of course you don't have to if you feel like it's too repetitive!!!

mc on their period

includes: the bothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .6k | rated g | m.list

a/n: i'm sorry you're feeling this way!! i know it's a little late but i hope it helps next time it rolls around or just in general haha. thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come say hello <33

warnings: vague and brief mentions of dysphoria

please like and reblog hehe

burying your face in your arms you groan, slumping down.

“what ever is the matter?” lucifer asks, and you lift up your head a little to look at him. he’s got his finger marking where he left off reading and his gaze is steady on you.

“i’m just not having a super great time right now,” you reply, semi-honestly. “life sucks.”

opposite you, belphie nods. asmo smacks him on the shoulder.

“i’m sorry you feel that way,” asmo says, a pout forming. “is it something in particular? you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“yeah,” satan agrees. “and if there’s anything we can do for you, please let us know. we’d be happy to help.”

you smile a little, touched. “thanks, guys. it’s just, you know, that time of the month so i’m extra moody.”

everyone softens slightly at that, familiar now with your feelings about your period and all of the complicated feelings that usually arise along with it.

“that sucks,” mammon says, normally brash tone quieter. “i know in the past chocolate and stuff has helped, do ya want any of that?”

“theoretically, yes,” you sigh. “but i’m not even close to hungry. sometimes my appetite gets screwed up.”

“so that’s why you didn’t eat much for lunch,” beel says, and mammon snorts.

“of course that’s what you’d notice.”

cutting off the potential squabble, lucifer speaks once more. “i’m very sorry you’re feeling like this. i know you don’t feel your best during menstruation but we’re all willing to do whatever you need. and if you want us to just drop the subject and not bring it up again right now, we’re more than willing to do that too.”

looking around at all of their stupidly sincere and kind expressions makes you know that what lucifer’s saying is the truth. the boys rarely agree on anything, but when it comes to you and your wellbeing, you’ve found their thinking aligns more often than not. you bury your face in your arms once more and bite your cheek.

“uh, mc?” levi says after a moment, and you hear a soft thud, followed by a quiet ‘ow’. asmo could probably reach him too.

“i’m okay,” you say. “just trying to get a handle on these stupid emotions i suddenly have. thank you, lucifer. i really appreciate it. and i’m okay with talking about it, but it was kind of you to check my boundaries.”

“of course,” lucifer replies, and a soft touch lands on your shoulder. beel, probably, since he was on that side of you. “kindness has nothing to do with it, though. it’s just basic decency.”

“that’s true.” you huff out a laugh, sitting up fully once more. beel’s hand- you’d assumed correctly -shifts but doesn't fall. you lean into the touch slightly. “but still, thank you.”

“think nothing of it,” satan cuts in. “i also wanted to add that if we ever do or say anything, not only about this, that is invalidating or insensitive to please let us know. i know i, and probably everyone here just wants to respect and love you in the way you deserve.”

“you’re all doing a great job of that, so don’t worry,” you say. “i’d say something if you weren’t, but again, thank you.”

stupid respectful boys who make your heart feel like it’s going to burst.

getting your period really sucks but at least you have them.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I blocked/ghosted this guy I can't quit?

so I've(nb25) known this guy(m29) about 8 months, but we haven't seen each other that many times. maybe 10 total. It's just a friends with benefits situation but he's very generous, he's splurged on hotels in the city for us we didn't really need, expensive meals, he's also just given me pocket money straight up before. He will kind of do whatever I want, all I have to do is mention it and he will make it happen. i mention I wanna see the ocean at 9pm and he's driving us around to find a beach that's open. i mention a food im craving and he's already ordering it, etc. he's not rich either, he lives with his parents(I think it's more for cultural reasons than financial) but his job pays pretty well I guess. he talks about the money and I think he's trying to impress me but I know so little about money and still rely on my parents I don't even really have the context. he's constantly trying to impress me with stuff like that or how much he can bench press and i find it super off-putting and don't respond to it. He's been nothing but nice to me I think, but I think he's got issues and he can't really open up emotionally. I am very suspicious of how "nice" he is and I find his positivity to be really invalidating sometimes.

Recently I got mad at him for an insensitive comment, and while I was chewing him out he just smiled at me and kept saying "I like you". It really irked me and I felt like he wasn't taking me seriously, even after asking him why he was reacting that way he just elaborated saying he liked me because I stick up for myself ? I was upset so I kicked him out of my place, it was the middle of the night. He left with a smile on his face still. it creeped me out and I almost felt like he was gonna come back and kill me while I was home alone.

I know that I'm not into him. not just that but I actively think he's annoying, and his toxic positivity thing really gets on my nerves. Ive explained that to him and he still wants to hang out. every time were together, our dynamic gets worse. im not mean to him, but I don't hold back when I think he's making something up to sound cool/nice or being fake. he says he likes my honesty and often puts me on a pedestal for it, and im constantly having to take myself off the pedestal bc im just a human being, capable of lying and inauthenticity.

He knows I don't want a relationship and I don't think that's what he wants either? hes never asked. i know he's dating and looking for someone though. I don't even really know what he meant when he said he liked me.

Every time I see him, I end up feeling like I don't wanna see him again. I find him really annoying and end up feeling really alone with him. ive tried to break it off before which he respected but would still DM me on insta occasionally, and it's bad but eventually I just went back to him bc I liked the way he was nice to me and spent money on me. it's really pathetic but it makes me feel worthwhile? but I want to stop seeing him. and im thinking, he doesn't have my phone number and I could just block him on Instagram then Id be done with it. I think we're bad for each other and that I probably frustrate him more than he shows, I think he tried to make me jealous recently by talking about some "beautiful blonde girl" he slept with, who didn't have a "good heart" like me or something. it felt weird and negg-y. overall just really weird, bad vibes. Would I be the asshole if I just blocked him ? i have a feeling that the only other way this will stop for us is with something worse than that.

What are these acronyms?

[female-malice]

not going to lie i might have to get my boobs chopped off due to possibly having a BRAC gene and im super worried as a dyke about it :-( i love boobs and i love having my nipples sucked and stuff and im really scared no women will be attracted to me or sexually fulfilled with me. my best friend keeps telling me i can pursue bi women because they wouldn’t care if i was tittyless bc they like dudes but im such a les4les idk im so sad about the possibility of it :-(

💗

Hey friend, I just want you to know that there's nothing more beautiful than life. Think of it this way: you can't have awesome les4les sex if you're dead!

All my posts about cosmetic mastectomies for gender specials are really just about that. The context for those posts is I'm just transphobic. Cosmetic mastectomies are a symbol of self-harm and self-hatred.

My thoughts and feelings about breast cancer and cancer treatment are completely different. Getting a mastectomy to fight breast cancer symbolizes your love for life and dedication to health.

But still, I won't lie or sugarcoat. Losing a sexual sensation that's been a big part of your life is a big deal. And you should grieve something like that. Don't hold back your grief.

For some reason, people want to convince us that boobs aren't important. I can't see that attitude as anything other than misogyny. It's invalidating and insensitive to all the women who have lost breasts to cancer. Boobs are important. That's the whole point. That's why women want a cure for breast cancer! If women didn't feel our own boobs were important, we'd accept mastectomies as a cure. We'd say "that's fine, we don't mind removing our boobs. Focus the cancer research on other cancers." But every woman who's life is effected by breast cancer wants a real cure.

It sounds like you don't have your BRAC test results yet. If it turns out you have the gene, you'll have a very difficult choice ahead of you. You can choose the lingering anxiety route. Change your lifestyle to mitigate all other risk factors and get frequent breast exams and mammograms. Or you can choose the grief and relief route. Mastectomy, mourning, and peace of mind. It's a personal choice. But you can talk to other women about how they made their choice and why.

[will-byerz]

BPD MIKE WHEELER HEADCANONS!!

Disclaimer: these are all based on my own thoughts and experiences and in no way am I trying to harm or stigmatise anyone! If there are any issues with this please feel free to dm me and we can talk about it!

El is his Favourite Person

• Which is why he’s always so emotionally charged with her and why he tried to “call” her every day for a year when she was gone!

• This is also why he can’t play dnd anymore because she’s not into it, and why he can’t concentrate on anything else when they break up.

• the idealisation comes from him being a HUGE nerd (Star Wars merch etc in his basement) and El being 1) a GIRL!! Which is new to Mike cause he’s definitely never had a girl be interested in him before and 2) she’s consistently compared to ET in the show, like she’s an alien— and to his little nerd brain that’s so crazy!! He has an ‘alien’ girlfriend! He knows a real life super human!

• this is also why he’s desperate to grow up, because he wants to spend his life with her and imitate what he’s seen happen with his own family, aka he wants to create a nuclear family with her

• he would rather lie to her (nana is sick) than risk losing her for real, because the idea of that is so terribly painful that he’ll do anything it takes not to lose her again.

• constant phone calls to her house, constant visits to her, leaving early from meeting his friends so he can go spend time alone with her. (a/n when I was 14, I would hang out with my fp and my friends all the time and my favourite part of the day was when we would walk home together alone. I would look forward to home time just for that!)

• Seeing Max as a threat when it comes to El.

Pressure in home life/Origin(?)

• His dad is shown to be very withdrawn so there’s a lot of pressure there with growing up to look after his family and be an adult

• Due to Mike’s circumstances of being a guy in the 80’s, his emotions have probably been repressed so much in his household. I imagine because of this, the emotions he does feel are super duper intense/hard to handle, especially when his environment growing up was possibly invalidating due to him being the only son.

• We see a LOT of Mike’s feelings being shut down but either his parents or by the party. Aka a lot of “Mike! That’s not okay to say!” Or “Why would you say that?” And shutting down his thoughts— the way this manifests into his possible BPD is the inability to understand WHY what he has said or done is wrong. No one will explain to him why what he has said is bad, he’s just been told it was bad. Aka more repression!

• He can sometimes be blind to other people’s emotions/a little self centred. This is shown in the infamous Byler scene in season 3 when he’s outwardly harsh to Will, because he thinks Will is being insensitive to his intense feelings over his break up— so in the spur of the moment he says the most hurtful thing he can think of— insinuating that Will is gay and/or that’s a bad thing. Obviously he immediately regrets it and goes after Will, but this decision (like a lot of his other decisions) is very impulsive. He can also be cruel to other characters in the show, including his mom, Lucas, Max and Nancy.

• He blows up on his family quite a lot/has outbursts of anger! This is seen at the dinner table in quite a few episodes, or at El when she is “wrong” about Will being alive or when she accidentally hurts Lucas really bad and Mike has… a few choice words to say to her about it.

• Struggle with authoritative figures; Hopper. That’s all I’ll say.

• once again the disregard for his emotions from his family due to him being “the man of the house” or at least growing into that title as his dad becomes more and more distant.

He shows his love in extreme ways.

• a huge lack of self preservation skills (or even “suicidal” tendencies as the DSM-5 would call it) when he literally jumps off of a cliff to save Dustin from bullies with no regard for how this could hurt him. This is also an Impulsive behaviour!! He obviously cares so greatly about his friends that he is willing to do anything for them.

• Sleeping by Will’s bed when Will is struggling, ‘saving him’ on Halloween, constantly checking up on Will, obsessing over Will’s well being (especially before El becomes his FP). Don’t even get me started on the “Crazy together” scene!

• I think his saviour complex is to cover up an inferiority complex but that’s honestly off my own back I don’t have much to back that idea up.

• He’s beyond nasty to Max because he’s scared his friends will abandon him when she joins the party!

• trouble explaining his emotions! He feels a lot but struggles to label them— aka when he tries to tell El he loves her but can’t figure out what words to say, or even if he feels certain it is love.

• Gift giving to apologise (going to the mall and trying to find a gift for El)

• Suggesting that he is the only person that cares about El and her well being, which is obviously not true but it is very much black and white thinking.

• “what if you want to join another party?” Is also a very ‘please don’t abandon me’ line hdjjdksks

—

That’s all I can think of off of the top of my head for now, but I hope these make sense!

Another quick disclaimer; all of these head-canons are based off of the canon show plot, meaning Mike is 12-15 in this! Doctors will not diagnose anyone under 18 with BPD as a lot of the symptoms are similar to just normal teenage hormones and puberty and all that! I’m not saying he HAS got it, I’m just backing up my own hcs and coping!! I was diagnosed with BPD at 17 despite the under 18 rule, and I had been experiencing symptoms since I was very young!

[miraculouscontent]

Always.

“Truth” is just... I mean, I want to say “garbage” but that doesn’t even do how bad it is justice? Like, okay, I take four major issues with it (my followers be like: just four? :P):

First is the writing in general and the continuity of it all. This episode looks like it’s been through multiple drafts and the final product is an amalgamation of a bunch of them with no coherency between any of them. I already could kind of guess it from the Adrimi kiss that the finale removed, but it’s obvious that there were going to be Adrimi/Lukanette arcs in Season 4 but then stuff happened (i.e: the staff being cowards) and they got cut. It’s totally possible that the plot with Jagged Stone being the father and Marinette having to keep secrets from Luka were still the same episode even in the original draft, but I imagine it at least wasn’t episode one.

There are other, more subtle hints as well, like the episode giving no time to Luka learning that Jagged is his father (making the fandom wonder if Luka remembered when he was Truth) and Ladybug being shocked when she realizes that the akuma is Luka as if she didn’t already see him be akumatized. Juleka also gets weirdly sidelined in the episode despite being Luka’s twin (Astruc has stated that both Luka and Juleka are older and Juleka got held back, which is why she’s in Marinette’s grade but Luka isn’t), so she’s Jagged’s offspring as well. One might presume that Juleka just never cared at all but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be allowed to interact directly with the guy or have any involvement at all. All it would’ve taken is for Luka to mention that Juleka never cared about who their father was but he did, thereby implying that Juleka’s reaction to Jagged would probably be more like, “oh okay.”

You know, if they didn’t reduce her to incoherent mumbling.

Second is the timing of this episode. We had the New York special with Paris being destroyed, but it’s clearly fine here (so I guess it isn’t canon now; thank God honestly), and while it’s technically possible that enough time has passed (supported by the vague implication that Marinette having to miss out on dates with Luka has gone on for a while, given Tom and Sabine’s lack of reaction to them dating), it’s not supported by Marinette examining the Miracle Box as if she’s only just gotten it.

There’s also Shadow Moth, where we’re shown an extended version of the scene from the end of “Miracle Queen” where Gabriel repairs the peacock miraculous, giving the episode a “Volpina”->”The Collector” vibe but then why are the events lining up the way they do???

The narrative also does a really bad job at showing us why Marinette is so strapped for time. She has guardian duties now but you’d think it’d balance out with her not having to go to Fu anymore for guardian training (you know, that thing we never saw but was said to be happening or at least that it was Fu’s intent to have it happen). You could argue that maybe Shadow Moth is more active, but then Chat Noir should be affected by this too; Ladybug states outright that she’s been busy and Chat Noir responds with something akin to, “oh I know, because you’re guardian,” which implies that it’s her guardian duties keeping her busy and Shadow Moth is just interrupting her dates specifically.

But we don’t even see what responsibilities she has added on as guardian. I knew the writers would make it so her being guardian was a hassle, but it’s the first episode of the series and we’ve gotten next to no answers for what being guardian actually adds.

It’s almost like this was a rushed first episode to break up the only thing that unambiguously made Marinette happy for the sake of bringing the love square back and needlessly making her suffer because the writers think it’s hilarious.

Speaking of which, the third thing thing is the comedy because--just--I hate the comedy in this show.

Like, just to start, there’s the kwami, who clearly begin with their mob mentality from the later episode of “Furious Fu” and all proceed to act like children. No, I didn’t expect them to all be wise (I mean, Xuppu exists and is very much not that, having been implied to be a fit for Kim who is known for being a total himbo), but I don’t expect them to all scatter like they do. Kaalki in particular, who was shown to be more poised and refined, blatantly reveals herself to a bunch of civilians just for the sake of Marinette freaking out and needing to make up an excuse.

Same with Alya and her friends. Marinette is panicking because of the kwami and Alya “deduces” (while shading Marinette so blatantly that it’s insulting) that Adrien must be there in her house which--maybe don’t SAY THAT OUT LOUD in case Adrien is literally in her room???). Then Marinette gets a call from Luka, shouts his name, and the girls do a complete 180 in support of Lukentte. It’s not like I’m not for them supporting whatever Marinette wants to do, but the shift is so sudden (and contradicts “Frozer”) that it gave me whiplash and the entire scene ends up being pointless since the girls still go with the “Marinette is in love with Adrien” thing when Truth asks them what Marinette’s secret is. Like, we could’ve gotten small, stupid secrets that everyone thought only they knew about Marinette, but instead it’s just the same thing over and over again (which makes no sense since, by the time Alya blabs the secret - which Alya has already told Nino before anyway - it’s no longer a secret therefore making the answer invalid).

Heck, the whole “secret” thing could’ve even been the people Truth shoots finding ways of answering his questions in a way that is technically telling the truth but also not really, such as if Anarka had answered the, “Who’s my father?” question with, “someone you know/someone famous,” so as to avoid saying that it’s Jagged Stone. It’s just boring seeing characters answer with whatever the asker wants to hear instead of being able to find a way around it.

And then there’s Chat Noir, who’s just--ugh.

Like--okay, I’m going to be extremely petty for a moment and just go off because I hate Chat Noir’s role in this entire episode. The Season 3 finale went out of its way to have Chat Noir be all like, “I have a girlfriend,” when it was a lie, and then Season 4 just parkours around Ladybug telling him that she’s dating (Ladybug clearly took no issue with Chat Noir telling her he’s dating so it’s not like she’s worried about issues there; she’s gotten on his case before in episodes like “Startrain” so there are exceptions) because they want to keep having him flirt and not be sAd because this is Marinette’s episode of suffering and Chat Noir actually having to face the reality that Ladybug is dating (not just in love with someone else) would’ve actually been interesting. Chat Noir gets tons of unnecessary screentime in the episode - mostly for the show to shove in LadyNoir shipping fuel - and then actively avoids telling him the obvious thing because he would’ve actually been forced to grow/develop/stop flirting.

It would’ve been so cute and sweet to see him awkwardly trying to flirt without overstepping boundaries (so more like banter than flirt) or - you know - actually try to support Ladybug and want her to be able to finish her dates by him offering to keep akuma/sentimonsters busy, but no, he’s just left in the dark.

The finale had Chat Noir supporting her (terribly but I digress) and then doesn’t do anything with it at the start of Season 4, meaning his support of her was completely meaningless and just there.

His first appearance is him pranking Ladybug when she’s already overstressed and busy, which comes off as super poor taste and I’m both glad he got splatted into that window for it but also upset because it’s screentime completely gone to waste, and of course it’s just a lead up to him guilting her by being like, “nooo the only thing that hurts me is when you leave me alone during patrol!”

I know he’s teasing (...probably) but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because we know (well, I knew because I know how this show works) that Luka and Marinette were going to break up because of Marinette’s hectic schedule, so it just comes off as insensitive to joke about it, especially when Ladybug’s busy guardian status just serves as a reminder that Fu is gone.

Even when he’s protecting Ladybug from Truth’s questions by cutting in and asking a question of his own, of course he asks about himself to forcibly fish compliments out of Ladybug because she can’t lie to him, and of course they have Ladybug compliment his humor most of all as if that trait hasn’t nearly gotten them in danger multiple times and she’s been repeatedly annoyed when he decides to joke during the worst possible times. It’s as if the writers wanted to pat themselves on the back for their own comedy, so they had Ladybug be a mouthpiece to stroke Chat Noir’s ego.

He claims he won’t force a truth out of her and then literally forces her to say what her favorite things about him are. I acknowledge that this can be seen as me nitpicking but we went from the finale where Chat Noir actually stepped up and took charge (because Ladybug was stressed but I guess him doing anything useful is just whenever it serves the plot) to this where he’s back to flirting constantly and jamming in as much LadyNoir shipping fuel as physically possible. It’s not that he’s useless but he’s annoying and takes up space in an episode that’s supposed to be about Luka and Marinette.

And that leads us into the fourth thing, which is the break-up and just the treatment of Luka and Marinette in general. I could go on and on about how the Season 3 finale built up their relationship just to tear it down in the first episode of Season 4, but that’s not the main issue here.

Luka brought Marinette comfort. He made her happy. He never judged her. He was happy to just date her regardless of any conflicted feelings she might have because hey, who is he to complain if she wants to give him a try and who knows what’ll happen?

And the season couldn’t even give one moment of them being unambiguously happy without ruining or interrupting it. I was ready for the break-up and I was even ready for it to be the first episode but I wasn’t ready for it to be so bad.

Marinette’s Adrien pictures appear out of nowhere (again, makes no sense for the timeline) when they’ve been gone for basically all of Season 3 and even “The Puppeteer 2″ specifically which makes a direct reference to “Troublemaker,” the episode that purposefully overdid it with her pictures (”Truth” has more hanging up and clearly used “Troublemaker” as a reference, by the way). They’re just there for force the love square and Adrien into the episode as much as possible to remind the audience that Adrien breathes. There is literally no purpose to any mention of Adrien and bringing him up isn’t even relevant to Marinette and Luka’s break-up.

It’s just upsetting to know that the umbrella scene from “Origins” (which is already flawed in and of itself) kickstarts this whole thing. Adrien did basically nothing there except for clear up a misunderstanding and give Marinette an umbrella when his ride was a few meters away and Marinette’s house was just across the street, but that actives Marinette’s absolutely crippling crush on him that lasts for 3-4 seasons. Marinette is in this eternal struggle of not being allowed to grow and change because the writers think her stammering/crushing on Adrien is funny while actively punishing her for having this crush in the first place (again, like in the scene with Alya, which insults Marinette for her crush when she wasn’t even panicking over her crush).

It’s the same with Luka, and I can’t believe that it took me until this episode to realize that he and Marinette are both treated the same way: tormented by episodes for having a crush on someone. Episodes will go out of their way to forcibly insert Adrien into the plot to both humiliate Marinette and make Luka feel awkward when the episode isn’t supposed to be about Adrien at all. “Truth” is just “Desperada 2.0″ except Adrien is barely on screen at all and they still felt the need to name drop him constantly. The writers are so sensitive to the idea of people jumping onto another ship or forgetting that Adrien exists that they’ll find any possible way to include him.

“Silencer” knew better. “Silencer” knew that Marinette’s life didn’t have to revolve around the mere mention of Adrien’s name and that she had other interests/desires/traits outside of him. Adrien isn’t brought up once and it was great because the show didn’t feel the need (for once) to throw Adrien into an episode that he had nothing to do with.

Even if I was a love square shipper, I would feel insulted by “Truth” because one half of my ship kept getting name dropped and used as a tool to humiliate the other half, which makes it all the more eyeroll-worthy when the love square stans of the fandom praise this episode for breaking Lukanette up when--oh, wait, they didn’t even break up “because Adrien.”

And that ends up being the real thing here. The writers had to invent a reason for Marinette and Luka to break up. We already know that Jagged Stone being Luka’s dad is a retcon (not technically in the show’s canon but in information we heard about outside of it), so they shoved in Luka having issues about not knowing his father specifically so that he would be pushed over the edge when Marinette couldn’t tell him about her being Ladybug.

When Luka and Marinette were just together and hanging out, Adrien wasn’t mentioned once. Say whatever about the Adrien pictures being on the wall and Marinette’s stammering (she always says stupid stuff when she panics - especially stuff she doesn’t mean - so I’m not upset with her so much as the writing for having her mess up in that specific way), but the only time Marinette talks about Adrien at all in the episode is when someone else brings him up.

She goes on a date with Luka to the cinema and they were having a great time without Adrien involved at all. I know I already stressed this point in a previous post, but one of the reasons that I find Lukanette to be so amazing is because the show actually focuses on Marinette’s interests and doesn’t force her to be the writer’s mouthpiece for gushing about their sunshine boy a punching bag for comedy. In every Lukanette scene that doesn’t bring up Adrien/before Adrien shows up, Marinette is either praised, able to be happy, or is showing one of her interests that isn’t aDrIeN, and whereas Adrien being on-screen around Marinette usually just means that she’s gushing about/stammering around him with no development, Lukanette features us actually learning more about Luka or other characters.

“Captain Hardrock” - lets her bond with Luka over a shared interest in Jagged Stone, and Luka is established as a sort of empath who uses music as a way to speak for himself

“Frozer” - gets to practice ice skating with Luka, who is actually good at ice skating and also can tie laces despite not tying his own because he’s a rebel

“Desperada” - gets to try out guitar with Luka and we learn that Luka has been playing guitar for as long as he can remember

“Silencer” - showcases Marinette’s interest in fashion and properly introduces Kitty Section; has a plot featuring all of them together doing something not even remotely love-related and we get actual confirmation of Luka’s crush on Marinette, along with Marinette’s reaction (blushy+happy; just saying, idk how anyone could watch “Silencer” and not think that Marinette was crushing on Luka)

“Heart Hunter” - Marinette gets a song written for/about her and Luka is established to have a job

“Truth” - brings up Lukanette’s shared interest in Jagged Stone, features Marinette’s interest in fashion when she gives him a gift she made + had Jagged Stone sign, and shows her raising her voice but not being judged by Luka for it, who’s happy with her just the way he is

When the show focuses on Lukanette, it’s all about lifting Marinette up, praising her, and making her feel good. When Adrien is involved or it’s hyper-fixating on Marinette’s crush on him, it’s about bringing her down and making her feel bad for a crush they keep forcing her to hold onto and humiliating her for.

Point being, the writers had to force their way into getting Lukanette broken up because of their precious love square and the fact that Marinette and Luka being happy is the opposite of what they want.

It’s embarrassing to watch a team full of old white guys (I’m convinced at this point that they just hang their female writer on a coat hanger so they can point to her whenever someone says that their staff is too male-dominated) treat their female biracial lead with such disrespect, and I can only presume that the mistreatment of Luka is because he’s supportive of her and they don’t like that, meaning that the way she’s treated ends up rubbing off on him.

It doesn’t come off as a fun or interesting plot; it comes off as cruel. When Adrien is sad, he usually gets people rushing to comfort him (”Party Crasher,” “Gamer”), but “Truth” has Marinette in tears over the fact that she can’t have a boyfriend due to being Ladybug and the writing has the gall to crack jokes about Kaalki not knowing what tears are, and then Marinette has to ask for the kwami to hug her for comfort.

When Luka gets akumatized into Truth, the episode doesn’t even hesitate at bashing away at him, from everyone saying that Marinette’s secret is that she “loves Adrien” (which, as Truth points out, isn’t a secret, and they could’ve had this somehow lead up to a twist ending where Marinette actually isn’t into Adrien anymore and the Adrien pictures were genuinely for reference, but she stammered about it because it was embarrassing that her boyfriend got sent it with no context) to one of Luka’s favorite songs actually being about how Jagged abandoned him to go on tour. Luka has to deal with Marinette ditching him constantly (not that I blame her) and not knowing who his father is despite wanting to know, and the episode treats him like trash for... what? Having a crush on a girl who’s secretly Ladybug? Because that’s all it seems to come down to in the end.

I also have serious gripes with the fact that Marinette has this huge schedule established in “Gamer 2.0″ and they don’t even try to explain why she can’t use it to keep track of her obligations. The episode has her say (in a roundabout way but still) that she’s forgetting stuff constantly because of all of her emergencies (the emergencies of which are not stated and I hate the subtle implication that forgetting something means you don’t care about it when that’s clearly not how things work and also not what Marinette comes off as because - again - they establish that she’s overworked) but fails to properly explain it. The episode hammers away at Marinette having all these issues and even has Tikki chide Marinette by asking her about leaving Luka alone while apparently neglecting the fact that Marinette HAS to go be Ladybug right now and what else is there to even do??

Both Luka and Marinette are punished for just having a crush and wanting to be together and I hate that the episode forces a break-up instead of coming up with a solution to the problem. Instead of “Marinette isn’t ready for a romantic relationship,” it feels more like she’s just not allowed to be happy.

Long-distance relationships are a thing. Relationships where people don’t get to go on dates frequently are a thing. Instead of forcing a break-up, the episode could’ve had a lesson/development where Marinette is told that she’s allowed to pursue a relationship and just needs to plan accordingly. but they just didn’t want to.

For example: instead of planning dates, Marinette could wait until an akuma/sentimonster is defeated to call Luka and ask him out, because Hawk Moth usually doesn’t strike immediately after one is dealt with. I’m positive that Luka would happily take impromptu/sudden dates over planned-but-inconsclusive ones. Heck, they don’t even have to date specifically and can just stick to phone calls (kwami can’t be picked up on technology) or hanging out in Marinette’s room/on Marinette’s balcony while they do their thing.

Relationships are a commitment, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a burden, and the episode absolutely drags Marinette over it. The whole thing with the kwami being released and stressing her out when they’re not supposed to be able to just come out normally is explained away by, “oh, the new box must be like you, Marinette; full of surprises!” when the reality is just that the show wants to take away everything that’s sacred to Marinette. The Season 3 finale had Fu’s letter telling Marinette that “life doesn’t always give you what you want, but the real gift is life itself,” then proceeds to turn Marinette’s life into a living hell.

Her room? She has to say good-bye to her privacy because now the kwami are always going to be around. The first thing one of them (Trixx) did was start reading her diary, showing that they have absolutely no shame or regard for Marinette’s feelings.

Her schedule? Conveniently pops away into the realm of non-existence so she can look bad for ditching Chat Noir on patrol and neglecting dates with Luka due to her responsibilities/stress.

Her boyfriend, the one person in the entire show who loved her, respected her agency, never judged her, actually apologized when he made her sad, and who she was genuinely in love with rather than just having the equivalent of a celebrity crush for? She had to break up with him because plot and needing to force her to go back to fawning over the guy who has only made her life worse by her crushing on him.

When I say the universe hates Marinette, this is what I mean. It created random akuma to attack Paris all for the sake of forcing Marinette away from Luka, and apparently didn’t realize what they were doing in the scene where Marinette hurries back to the Liberty when Kitty Section and Adrien are playing together when Adrien is Chat Noir so he should’ve been late too.

(Oh, and Marinette completely ignores Adrien in favor of waving at Luka and even tells Luka outright that Adrien isn’t even a factor in their relationship issues, further proving the “multiple drafts smashed together” and “the Adrien name drops are pointless” points.)

The whole thing in “Backwarder” where it was basically outright stated that Marianne could’ve been Fu’s confidant had Marianne not been outed by Ladybug’s mistake? Completely forgotten and left to the wayside. Marinette could’ve told Luka that she was watching the Miracle Box in Ladybug’s place (for any number of reasons, really: either Ladybug thinks it’s too dangerous to keep with her, or if the public doesn’t know that Ladybug is guardian, then Marinette can just say that she’s guardian) and that she has to run off to keep guard of the Miracle Box when an akuma/sentimonster happens in case Ladybug needs a miraculous.

Boom, done, episode solved. Luka gets to help Marinette with the kwami, Marinette is less stressed because someone knows half of her secret, and Luka and Marinette continue to date but are able to plan around akuma attacks.

But no. That whole thing in “Backwarder” where guardians (or at least Fu) can have a confidant was just there so Marinette could feel guilty about screwing it all up, because she’s not able to take advantage of that perk herself.

How convenient.

[acefaun]

Gods reactions to a super depressed goldfish? Yoy don't have to make it too depressing if you don't want. I'm just having a hard time and I really like your drabbles. 🥺

An Accident, Right?

Synopsis: The gods reacting to you, a depressed goldfish who was only looking for an outlet to your pain. You never expected to get caught in this string of 'accidents' you've created. But all the gods want to do is help you.

✨Masterlist✨

Gender-neutral goldfish! Warning: blood, self-harm

A/N: Oh no. 😩 I hope we're all okay. I have issues with low self-esteem and anxiety and these fics are some of the only things I have confidence in, so I'm glad you like them! ✨ Since I already made fics with a sad goldfish, I'll go ahead and feed the dark angst for ya. I'm a bit of a sucker for angst, it helps me vent my sad feels. 🥺

--Word Count: 3649--

It hurt so much to feel so invalidated by everyone around you. You were a person too! They just didn't understand that your emotions were more vulnerable than theirs. How could they say such careless things? Did they even care that you would get hurt over their words? Probably not. It was probably a passing comment that they didn't even think about.

But you hated that it was such an overwhelming emotion over something that was so tiny. Well... it was a lot of tiny somethings that added up and really hurt your feelings. This is what it meant to live, you had feelings. Sometimes you just wish you didn't have feelings- which you doubted the Department of Wishes would grant you that mercy. They didn't even know that some of their honest comments were among the reasons you were feeling like that. They were gods, what did they know about human feelings? Okay, that was a pretty insensitive thing to think. The gods were pretty emotional beings themselves, but they really just couldn't wrap their minds around the way you felt and thought.

You groaned, tears picking at your eyes as you glared outside of your window. The world was spinning on and you felt like you were on pause. You wanted to get rid of these feelings- rather, you would like to feel something else entirely. Death wasn't an option in your book, your little joys in life kept you tethered to this world. It was frustrating that you didn't have an outlet for your emotions. Instead of stewing in your pain, you went to your bathroom to get ready for your day. You'd only woken up once it was afternoon and you supposed it was time to get ready for whatever was to come for the rest of your day. Only... you bumped your medicine cabinet and your box of spare razors spilled from the top shelf. You flinched back, but not before one of them sliced through your arm and you stared numbly at the bleeding, burning cut across your wrist. You hadn't meant to do it... so it wasn't considered cutting, right? But it was a different feeling. It was a different kind of pain that distracted you from your emotional turmoil. What a funny accident that you hadn't accounted for.

Feeling the stinging pain, you were snapped out of your thoughts as you reached for a towel to start cleaning away the blood that was collecting and dripping onto your counter. You stared at the red liquid. That felt different... so... was it really your fault when these 'accidents' continued to happen over the next few days, your emotions chasing you in circles? But how could you have planned for someone to catch you? It was just an accident... but... was it?

♌LEON- You were... bleeding... when he showed up. You were trying to clean it, to wipe away the blood. But there were several other wounds that looked similar to that one and he didn't know what to make of it. Was someone doing this to you? No, that answer was too simple. It didn't explain what he was looking at. The offending weapon was right in front of you with your blood still on the blade. It was obvious to Leon what had happened, despite how he didn't want to believe what you had resorted to. "What are you doing?" Your shoulders jumped when you noticed him, obviously frightened to have him catch you in such a vulnerable position. You were trembling, in fact, while you tried to explain what happened. "It- It was just an accident. They fell from the shelf... I..." You were having trouble even delivering your excuse, your throat closing up to keep you from crying. Leon's eyes softened. You were so broken and so obviously hurt and it took this much to make him see that. He should have known you were in pain. He should have taken care of you before it got this far. He snapped his fingers, the blades disappearing as he took your arm in his hands. "You don't have to lie... or hide from me. Stop trying to look away. You can cry. I'm here to help you. Please, just cry if you need to. I'm not leaving you again. I'll take care of you. I'll take away all of this. Just... talk to me. Please. Tell me what you need."

♋KARNO- "Did I... do something to make you think you needed to resort to this?" He was shocked. He knew these kinds of things were the kind humans tried hardest to hide. But why you? Wasn't he enough to shield you from these kinds of things? Did you think he wasn't there for you? But you weren't answering him. You were pulling away from him, he could tell. But he didn't want you to leave. He didn't want you to run away from him. He wasn't angry with you. He just wanted to know why. He wanted to help. "It was an accident, Karno... I didn't mean..." His eyes were wide as he listened to you. You didn't even sound so certain of yourself. Did you convince yourself that these were all accidents? But he was soft with you. He had to be with how fragile you were. He took you into his arms, not minding that you didn't want to meet his eyes just yet. He did his best to clean your cared-for cuts. There weren't many, but it was enough for Karno's heart to break. "My (Name)... I never want you to feel like this. I want you to stay with me. I want you to stop doing this to yourself. I want you to trust that I'll take care of you. Please? Promise me you'll come to me before doing something like this to yourself?"

♒HUEDHAUT- The minute he laid eyes on you, he knew it was vital to keep you calm but he couldn't let you do this. He had to be soft with you, lest you turn him into the bad guy. But he had to be strict with you. He was so hurt to see you so broken and he didn't prevent this- but he could stop it from continuing. "(Name), stop this." That's when he saw your tears and the ice around his heart cracked even more. "It was an accident... I swear..." You looked so fragile the way you held your arm against you, putting pressure against the blood flow. But that wasn't all you were doing and he knew. You were hiding more than just blood from him. You couldn't fight him as he took your arm in his hand, unwrapping the towel from around your wrist and his eyes narrowed. "And just how many of these are accidents?" He almost flinched at the whimper he got from you, he wasn't expecting you to cry even harder. He pulled you against him, his hold was tight and reassuring. He wasn't about to let you go. "Don't mistake my concern for anger... I'm worried about you. You hid this from me and tried to lie to me- or perhaps you've managed to lie to yourself. But I won't be lied to. You're going to be honest about how you're feeling with me. I want you to talk to me."

♉TEORUS- He hadn't seen you for a while, so he just assumed you were too busy to see him, but he knew your schedule like the back of his hand. Accordingly, he went to find you at your house one night without your permission. But he was glad he showed up. Upon first glance, he was certain someone had hurt you. But he paused, not making his presence known as the sight of scattered blades made him pause and realize that they had just fallen so there was no reason for concern. He lightly said, "You're so clumsy when I'm not around, (Name). Here, let me help you." But you pulled away, not letting him touch the towel around your wrist, startled that he was even there. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Trying to reassure you that it was okay, he gently grabbed your hand. "Don't worry. It's okay. I just want to help. Accidents happen." He unwrapped your towel so he could see what he was dealing with and there was no way you could say no. But his hands wavered. He whispered, "This wasn't an accident..." Tears were gathering in his eyes now. "I wasn't here to help you. I'm so sorry I let you go through this alone! I don't want you to do this... I didn't know you were hurting like that. (Name), please, let me help you! I'll do anything! I'd turn back time for you! I just want to see you happy again! I don't want you to be in pain... I'm going to do everything I can to help you."

♑AIGONORUS- He was so busy with work lately. It was as if Leon thought he didn't care for you or something. So, while he couldn't visit you, he did send his heralds out to see how you were doing. He'd drop his work in an instant if you needed him. But he knew you wouldn't be in too much trouble without him around. Which was why he was surprised when Nashira came to him. Evidently, you were in some kind of trouble and his herald tugged on his coat, demanding that he go to you at once. He was in your house without a moment of hesitation, but he hesitated in your bathroom door. You were scrambling to clean up your counter that had... blood on it. "What are you trying to hide from me?" You whimpered when you heard him, expecting him to come running after Nashira left. "It- It was just an accident. I didn't want to..." You knew he would be concerned, he would be afraid for you. But it was too late for those kinds of thoughts. "But if it was an accident... you wouldn't be trying to hide it like that..." He said sadly, making me drop the towel as he pulled me into his soft arms. "I don't want you to hide things from me. I want to know how you're feeling. I sent Nashira to check on you but... Why didn't you say anything? I would have dropped all of my work for you. Nothing's more important to me. So... rely on me."

♐TAUXOLOUVE- He could see how people were destined to die and your death didn't look tortured like the way he was seeing you now. He knew you weren't going to die like this, but you were hurting yourself, you were in pain and that was something he couldn't see coming. He didn't know it was happening under his nose. At first, he didn't know what to say without frightening you, but it was too late. You already saw him and you were looking panicked mixed with the pain on your face. "Hey, you don't have to make that face. It's okay. You wanna talk to me?" He was by your side in an instant after that, helping you clean the blood and not mentioning the other cuts that fell beside that one. But you did eventually talk to him as you explained quietly, "The razors fell from the cabinet..." So... that was what you were doing to yourself. He hummed, snapping his fingers to make the razors disappear. "Those pesky razors... You don't need that sitting on top of your cabinet." Just looking at you he could tell you were overridden with sadness. You were obviously telling the truth, but you left out that you purposefully had them fall from the cabinet. "I'm willing to do anything for you. But I'm going to have to call you out on that half-truth. I'm not mad or anything, but I think it's best if I stay with you for a while. I really care about you. I can't have you hurting like that behind my back."

♎ZYGLAVIS- Was he not watching you close enough? He thought you were okay, but that's just what everyone thinks when you have a fake smile, right? He should have known better. He was so foolish. This was his fault. If he were better for you, then you wouldn't have done any of this to yourself. "(Name)..." The minute you laid your frightened eyes on him, he knew he should have spoken softer, instantly regretting it, as tears burst forth and you cried, "It was just an accident! I- I'm sorry! I just- I can't-" You were surprised that he took your shaking hands, bringing you closer to him as he tried his best to clean your blood with his shaking hands. Was he that angry that he wasn't saying anything? No. He was so soft as he leaned closer to you, kissing your forehead. He was trying his best to gently care for you and show you that he wasn't leaving you in this state. You were so fragile... any wrong phrase on his part could completely break you. But he had to make sure you knew not to do this again. "I wish you would have come to me. I've messed up, it seems... but I'm not leaving you this time. I'm going to stay here and listen to whatever it is you have on your mind. I'm not angry, but I will tell you not to do this again and I expect you to obey that."

♏SCORPIO- At first, he was pissed off, certain someone had hurt you. After all, you could never do something like this. But as soon as his hands were wrapped around your injured wrist, he froze, a wave of emotions washing over him. He felt how worthless you felt, how hurt and broken you were, and how alone you thought you were. But he also felt the immediate fear that washed over you upon having Scorpio suddenly grab you like that. You thought he was angry at you? He had every right to be, but that was certainly the last thing you needed. He was caught off guard when you weakly said his name, "Scorpio... It was... just an accident..." That's what you were telling yourself. It started as an accident, but you've staged this repeated accident and Scorpio knew it- but he also knew why. Still, he sighed. He wasn't going to argue with you. If you believed it was an accident then you could talk about that later. "I know what's goin' on here... I should've known sooner. I should've kept you safe. I'm sorry if I'm one of the assholes that made you feel like this. Come on, I'll take you to my room. You'll stay with me. I'm gonna clean those cuts the right way."

♓ICHTHYS- Were you trying to get back at him for something? This was definitely some kind of prank, right? But... you were crying. You couldn't have staged this all for him. That blood... He didn't want to believe you were actually bleeding, but there was no other explanation coming to him. You were hurt and he wasn't there to help you! He thought you would be glad when he made his presence known but you only seemed more afraid than before he showed up. "But... this doesn't make any sense... It's not a joke, right? Are these... real? Hey, what happened?" You tried to pull away, too afraid to let him use his powers. "It was just an accident! Please, don't try and use your powers. I don't want you to..." You trailed off, but he understood your fears. He knew you were always afraid of what his powers would do to him. But he was more scared for you at the moment. He knew you weren't telling the truth. There was no way that many cuts could have been an accident! "I don't understand what's wrong. Why are you hurting so badly but not talking to me? If you won't let me heal you then just let me fix this! Let me do what I can for you! We can talk about this! I can help you with whatever you're going through just like you helped me want to live again! Don't hurt alone like this... Let me help you find your reason to live again too."

♊DUI- "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Shadow Dui came out immediately upon seeing the blood and he wasn't at all concerned with how you shrieked and shrunk back with fear. Dui certainly would have taken a sweeter approach with you, but Shadow was furious that you were hurt in any kind of way. Shadow was immediately inspecting the scene, ignoring your feeble "It was an accident." It didn't look like an accident to him. He'd seen too many idiot humans do this to themselves without asking for help first and it seemed like you were one of them. "I'm not taking any of that bullshit. Let me see." You were terrified as he grabbed your arm, starting to clean the blood himself, not even trusting you to do that much. While he was trying to handle that, Dui came back and looked at you with his soft, concerned eyes. "Hey, it's okay. You don't have to cry. I know he sounds really mad but he's just really worried about you." Was that really all it was? You didn't really believe that he wasn't mad. Shadow came back and snapped, "Stupid softie! Stay out of my business!" His eyes then flitted from your arm to your eyes, but his face was significantly softer. "I'm gonna take care of you, got it? I won't have you arguing with me. I don't know what you think you're doing, but it's not good for you and I won't stand for it. I don't know what made you feel like shit but I'm going to get rid of it."

♈KRIOFF- Immediately you knew something was wrong with the room went cold. The air around Krioff was crisp and freezing. You could practically see his shallow breathing as you noticed him lingering in the door. You obviously didn't know what to do, your body shaking under his gaze. But he wasn't angry. He wasn't. He was just upset with himself for letting someone else he loved to get hurt all because he wasn't there to protect them. He froze as you flinched away from him the moment he took a step forward. "Are you afraid of me?" You bit your lip, holding back a whimper. "No... I just- It was an accident. I didn't want you to see..." You didn't him to see? He was only there to help. But you looked desperate to hide. He didn't want you hiding things from him. He grabbed your arm, keeping you from avoiding him as he started to help you with your arm regardless of your reaction. You were hiding these cuts from him? He knew what they were and he knew they were only there because you had to be hurting. But he was hurt too because you were doing this to yourself instead of relying on him. "I don't care if it was an accident or not. But I wanna be here for you when you're hurt or when you're sad. I'm tired of not being there for people who need me. You were there for me so can't you just accept my help when you need it?"

♍PARTHENO- He knew you always had a lot on your mind. I mean, he was a reason, wasn't he? He saw your pain immediately upon laying eyes on you. The blood only made your situation that much worse for him. Of course, you wouldn't go to Partheno for help, he used to be the demon that tormented you and probably sent you into this mentally dark place. But he couldn't dwell on his guilt. He had something more important to take care of. He had to make sure you stopped what you were doing, he didn't care the reason for why you were doing it. "(Name)," He started softly, "I know I've caused you a lot of pain and suffering in such a short amount of time, but let me make it up to you. Please, don't do this. Take your feelings out on me, not yourself. I don't like to see you this way." Still, your eyes were broken windows to your soul and you looked pained just to see him there. You didn't know what to tell him. Your usual excuse slipped out, the same one you've been telling yourself for days, "It was just an accident..." But it wasn't and you didn't know how to fix it. You weren't angry. You didn't want to take it out on Partheno. You didn't want to see him hurt like he was in front of you. But he took you into his arms, holding you tight, making sure you didn't start bleeding again. "You've told yourself so many lies since I met you. But I've never lied to you since I became a god. I love you and I will not leave you alone now. So... let me take your pain away. Let me help you through your struggles. I'll be here for you."

[vivithefolle]

What are your favourite fanfic tropes/aus for romione?

(I’m gonna try to make my way through old asks I received AGES ago and never answered because I’m a procrastinating lump. Here’s betting I’m going to give up and play videogames all day instead.)

Oh my god, so many.

Okay so as a rule of thumb as long as it’s nice to Ron I’ll read it. I’ll read anything. I have been known to read Ron/Draco and even sacrificed my dignity and everything I stand for as a human being by reading some Ron/Snape stuff. Yes. I was THAT desperate. This is how low I’m willing to go because of sheer love for Ron.

Which means that when a fic will go “oh poor Hermione, poor Hermione who is waiting for Ron to grow up because She can see one day he could be worth it but for now he’s all dumb-dumb and inferior and doesn’t deserve Her perfection :(”, I will be judging. Judging very hard. I may not leave a comment but rest assured, my thoughts are loud enough for me. This is 2010s mentality. This is “haha I’m so like Hermione, not like other girls who throw themselves at boys, I’m so special and girl powery :)” Horribly Bad Feminism. Fuck that. We’re doing better now.

Speaking of doing better. Recently I read something about how Ron is, paraphrased, “the brute of the Trio”, spun in a positive way since he uses his strength to protect them but, but, still... please no? Just no! Just eff no with these takes about how Ron is a hypermasculine dudebro M For Manly™! No, no, fucking no! Just because he’s the Sulfur to Hermione’s Mercury and Sulfur represents the masculine component to Mercury’s feminine one, DOESN’T MEAN Ron is “the brute”! (”the” brute... seriously... who’s the more brutish one, the one who punches a racist in the face or the one who uses a torture curse as retribution for spitting on his fave teacher?)

The way I see him, Ron is a balance, a blend of feminine and masculine qualities intertwined close together. I LOVE that he can swear like a sailor but can only say “scarlet woman” or “cow” when it comes to insulting a woman. Some will probably see it as “hurr durr he sexist he doesnt think women can take it!!!!!!! >8C” but given that those are probably also the peeps who say “HE CALLE D HERMOANI A NIGHTMURRR!!!!!!! DDDDD8″ I’m gonna venture the idea that we don’t care about those folks’ biased, sexist opinions.

Where was I going with this... oh yes! Ok, so Ron can swear like a sailor yet couldn’t insult a girl to save his life. He’s strong physically but most of all he’s strong mentally (to put up with the way his friends treat him for years speaks a lot of his mental fortitude... and to top it off he comes back for more to boot! I’m not sure if that’s more mental fortitude or straight-up masochism though.) When he succeeds at things he gets a bit attention-whoreish but at the same time, you can see that when he’s being complimented he’s all unsure of himself and blushy and shy and you just, dude you can’t handle positive attention because you don’t know how to react to it I don’t know whether that’s adorable or the saddest thing I’ve seen in my life? He’s insecure but he’s always the first to cheer on Harry and Hermione when they’re doing something great, which speaks VOLUMES of Ron’s selflessness and of his actual character: to quote @peetamaellark​, Ron doesn’t think “Harry is great, therefore he sucks and I hate him”, he thinks “Harry is great, therefore I suck and I hate me”. THIS is Ron. THIS is why Ron will lash out, not because he hates Harry, but because internally he hates himself and you can’t keep that sort of feeling bottled up for too long before... you got it, you explode.

I. Want. More. Fics where Hermione isn’t this ~oh dear~ Victorian damsel in distress who cries and Ron is the Big Strong Man who holds her with one arm and is stony-faced and goes “I’ll protect you”, please no that was old before it existed, let us have nice, realistic depictions of Ron and Hermione please.

Like, Hermione is more than capable of kicking butt herself. She IS absolutely nervous and scared and cries easily and that’s a vulnerability we NEED, but the fact that she can be super scared and crying but still hex her opponent into oblivion? THAT’s good, THAT’s excellent. It’s a very important message for girls, I think. “You can cry, you can be sensitive, you can be emotional, AND you can still kick butt”. And as important as that message is for girls, it’s also a very important message to give boys, because boys are socialized to “never cry” and that’s super unhealthy. I love Ron’s admiration of Hermione. I love the way Ron hesitates, the way he can be cautious when he needs to as much as he can be reckless and impulsive. I love how he shows himself to be a big softie and a sweet soul. I don’t think that makes him an “emasculated doormat” (to quote a guest I once saw on FFN), on the contrary it makes him an even better man in my eyes. You know why I love the locket scene so much? Because Ron’s tears aren’t ridiculed. Ron gets to cry about the terrible ordeal he’s been put through, and while Harry “pretends he can’t see Ron cry” because it’s more comfortable for him personally, he doesn’t try to tell Ron to “man up” or anything. His reassurance is pretty lousy but he lets Ron cry, he lets his friend be upset, and he doesn’t try to invalidate Ron’s pain. (ok, the “I thought you knew” is kiiiiinda on the way there, but it stops at that and I’m grateful for it).

I like. Seeing Ron distressed. I like seeing Ron upset and be allowed to be upset. I like to see Ron’s pain treated with respect. So when Ron is having a shit day I like to see him get a cuddle. I like seeing Ron go through horrible ordeals and break down and for his breakdown to be properly acknowledged and not turned into insensitive comic relief (ISN’T THAT RIGHT, LATTER HALF OF THE SILVER DOE????). I mean seriously, just imagine GOF, Harry sitting in the hospital wing after Cedric’s death, Molly Weasley gives him a hug and it’s all very sad and angsty. And now picture Ginny running into the room screaming “HARRY JAMES POTTER” and punching him over and over and saying “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER” then after two pages of Harry “explaining” himself to Ginny she goes away saying “aight but if you do that shit again you’ll have to answer to me” then Harry’s friends are like “damn she’s spunky huh?” and Harry laughs and everyone laughs and this is how the book ends? How would it be funny? How would it be appropriate? How would it feel like “romance”? When Ron returns in The Silver Doe, he’s been psychologically tortured (”tortured” is the actual word JKR uses, please), we don’t need him to be hurting outside as well.

I want more accountability for Hermione. More “uh hey Hermione maybe don’t do that”. More “hey Hermione you know you think of yourself as a good person buuuut yeah actually if all good persons were like you I’d be very afraid”. More “Hermione please for the love of God educate yourself”. More “Hermione sweetie I love you, but you can’t actually learn everything from books”. CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT. PLEASE. Don’t be afraid to punch Hermione down and tear her apart the way the best Ron fics maim and torture our poor boy. Just because Rowling treated Hermione with kiddy princess gloves doesn’t mean you have to mimic her.

So when Hermione does a genuinely shitty thing let her own up to it. When Ron is a victim let him be upset and angry, even if Hermione is the one treating him badly. Just because he loves her doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to be disappointed in her or that she’s entitled to his immediate forgiveness. Give Ron and Hermione equal consideration. If you’re brushing off Hermione’s actions but condemning Ron for the slightest mistake, I am sure to hate it.

Okay, uh, so, those aren’t really tropes. Those are more just, guidelines I presume.

Oh, yeah, a trope that annoys me! Ron saying “you’re mine”, “my Hermione” and stuff, and Hermione just swoons and says “yours” and shiz. Ok, once in a while, why not. Once in a while. BUTT. I WANT HERMIONE TO SAY IT TOO. “Mine”, “my Ron!” and Ron swoons and says “yours, absolutely yours”. DO IT YOU COWARDS. FUCKING TAKE THOSE GENDER ROLES AND PUNCH’EM IN THE FACE.

Oh, right, while we’re on the subject of gender roles! Dad!Ron is everything. SingleParent!Ron is mwaaah. Stay-at-home-Dad!Ron is ALKZLDSJDLQSKLFJ <3. AnimalLover!Ron is HHHHNNNGG. Remember, the small gestures, the tiniest, softest acts Ron does (helping Harry get dressed when his arm is deboned, giving Dobby his brand-new sweater, praising Ginny, Luna and Neville when they escaped Umbridge), those are often those unremarkable, unmistakeably kind and sweet actions that tell us who Ron really is at his core: not a guy who’d want power at all costs, not a guy who’d give it all for ambition, not a guy who sees people as possessions, but someone kind who wants to make others happy.

Ok, I was also asked for AUs, so, uh, pretty much every AU is game as long as Ron gets treated with respect? I mean I don’t really care for Mafia!AUs or such but if you can find a way to fit good Romione then go for it I guess. Royalty AU, yeah why not but I often see Ron being made a prince while Hermione is a poor wee servant girl and like. Uuum, we’re talking about the same characters here? Hermione the highly educated girl who keeps on walking over everyone’s toes and loudly talking about how things should be done and is definitely Nouveau Riche, Ron who is a country boy who lives on a farm and is lost in the constant shuffle of his brothers, you think she should be the peasant and he should be the royal? Whaddafack? Oh, and all the “Hermione is a Muggle, Ron is a wizard” AUs that start this way BUTT! Suddenly... Hermione... turns out... to be (wait for it!)... A WITCH! And a super powerful super talented very good one too!!!... yeah ok, yawn. It’s quite scary, actually, how often I’ve seen that plotline, but in the rare cases when it’s Muggle!Ron and Witch!Hermione, Ron never ever EVER (I mean, seriously, NEVER EVER) turns out to have been a wizard, not even a mediocre one, all along. No, when Ron is made a Muggle for the sake of AU he stays a Muggle. But when Hermione is made a Muggle she has to turn out TO HAVE BEEN A WITCH ALL ALONG OMYGAH. I can count on one hand the number of Mugglemione/Wizardron fics that actually stick to their Mugglemione premise till the end - and usually they’re one-shots. (Also I don’t mean “Ron mistakes Hermione for a Muggle because he meets her in the Muggle world and assumes he must hide his magic from her, oh wait she was actually a witch!” fics, I mean genuinely “Hermione has been raised a Muggle her whole life, never had weird things happen to her her whole life ever, then Ron comes in and is a wizard and he does magic and Hermione wonders what it’d be like to be a witch and oh surprise! Don’t worry Hermione, you won’t have to feel not-special or mundane for long, here comes the plot contrivance to tell you you really were in fact the specialest of them all!!” fics.) Fairytale!AU is cool. Very good. But honestly I like to see them swapped around. Ron cursed by a nasty fae to be a Beast and Hermione stumbling upon him? Neat, especially if you don’t go the boring route of “oh let’s just rehash the Disney/the original book with different names and call it a day”. But Hermione cursed by an asshole fae for, let’s say, not sharing books, turning into a Beast, and Ron stumbling upon her as she’s trying to survive in the woods (and not doing a very good job of it)? Yes, brava, chief’s kiss. Rapunzel AU where Hermione’s bushy hair turns into the most impractical, most suffocating improvised ladder ever for Ron? Hilarious. Rapunzel AU where Ron has A GIANT EFFING PONYTAIL OF THE GODS and is screaming “ow ow ow” as Hermione makes her way up to his window cringing and saying “sorry! sorry! sorry! (damn his hair smells good)” on every step? Equally hilarious. Go! Be creative! Please I beg of you

Creature!fics! Oh my god there’s not enough of those, at least that aren’t focused on a bullshit pairing! Soulmate AUs! Give me everything! I’ll even take A/B/O if you insist on making it Romione! That’s how far I’ve fallen from human decency I’ll take anything just give me some good Ron content please I beg of you (Ah and to those that are going to say “Alpha Ron Omega Hermione :)))” well yes, but actually no. “Beta Ron Beta Hermione”? “Beta Ron Alpha Hermione”? “Omega Ron Alpha Hermione”??? HELL YEAH NOW WE’RE TALKIN)

Oh dear god I’m still not finished and I haven’t gone through everything someone stop me.

AND NOW BE CAREFUL CHILDREN, BELOW WILL BE SMUT.

Okay I don’t know if it qualifies as a trope, but. But. A more realistic depiction of Ron is usually what I’m after. All those fanfics that have Ron be “the sexy experienced one ;)))” ravishing “naive virginal Hermione ;))” is just UGH. We spent all the 2000-2010 period having fics like this, mind adding a bit of EQUALITY to the mix???

It’s just... I hate it okay? So many fics read like they’re just projection, writers who are essentially making Ron their big strong sex toy stud who's so attentive and sweet and cherishing, and so it does indirectly ends up as "servant Ron is so devoted to his goddess Hermione, providing pleasure to her while she doesn’t have to lift a finger”. The Dom!SexGod!Ron thing honestly depresses me... Since it's Ron taking care of Hermione, AGAIN. Like, he spends his WHOLE LIFE doing that already. Can we give him a break for once?

In the endI feel that it's less "Romione smut" and more "self-inserting into Hermione smut". In "real" Romione smut I think Ron and Hermione would switch roles according to what they feel like. And honestly I ALWAYS picture Ron being super nervous during Dom stuff, like he spanks her once then immediately he goes "oh my god are you okay?? did that hurt, do you want to stop?", things like that. I cannot imagine it happening any other way. XD Ron is just... too caring, too sensitive to do stuff like hard BDSM and that kind of thing in my opinion. He’s too much of a caretaker. I understand if it’s your kink and you’re perfectly free to project and write the fic you want, I’m not the fun police, but it’s just... I don’t think that’s really what Ron would be like. I just want MORE realistic Ron.

Also I’m trying really really hard to not point fingers here but WHY is it that it’s always “Ron growled” while it’s always “Hermione whimpered” or “Hermione moaned”? Like... you know it’s okay for a man to moan or whimper in pleasure too, right?  You know Ron isn’t 110% muscles and testosterone? You know Hermione is allowed to be fierce too? Hermione can 100% “growl” and be dominant and pin Ron to the wall and reduce him to a puddle of goo if you’re brave enough?

(Honestly how sexy would Ron think that is? The woman he loves is half his size yet can pin him down and ravish him. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG RON HAS WANTED TO BE RAVISHED AND CHERISHED DO YOU KNOW HE’S BEEN WANTING THIS ALL HIS LIFE)

Oooo-kay, so that’s... mostly it, I reckon. Oh also Ron has a gigantic penisraise kink (and a great penis too, but mostly a praise kink). That’s canon and that’s all.