#super cruel to do to a fish like imagine being stuck in your room

[simplyghosting]

I want a something like a fish in a fishbowl experience without the cruelty that is a fish in a fishbowl is.

[syndianites]

A Queen Serves and Protects

Chapter Two

Last Chapter --> Current --> Next Chapter!

Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

Twenty four hours went by excruciatingly slow for Pollen.

First, she had to wait through the night. Chloe hadn’t unboxed her until late in the day, when the sun was almost gone. That left little time in the day for much interaction with others.

But she didn’t spend this time twiddling her thumbs. She did what research she could. After observing Chloe- who she learned the name of moments after their deal- meander on her phone and laptop for a few hours, she had a dubious grasp on how the current technology worked.

It was quite the adventure.

But after trial and error, she managed to look Chloe up on the internet. (And what a fascinating thing!). The results gave her a basic background; Daughter of the Mayor of Paris, Mother is a renowned expert in the fashion industry, and so on. She seemed clean, for all Pollen could tell.

So she searched her room. Most of what she could see was clearly expensive, from shiny new gadgets to prim and proper clothes. Beyond some Ladybug merchandise- and oh boy was this girl a fan of Ladybug- nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

A sneak around the hotel didn’t reveal much about Chloe, herself, but her parents on the other hand….

What disasters!

Calling their relationship dysfunctional would be a complement. They were completely polarized opposites, and not in the good, healthy way. Her mother was derisive and cruel, refusing to associate with those she believed were below her and didn’t meet her exceptional standards. Her father was, despite his position, a lapdog. He would bend over backwards to please his wife, acting like a doormat.

Together, they were the perfect image of an Evil Queen and her loyal Servant.

It didn’t give Pollen any good feelings about how Chloe herself would act. Would she take after her parents? Or would she be her own person?

Day time did not ease her fears. Chloe was brash and rude, clearly taking after her mother. She didn’t remember anyone’s names, was haughty and snappy towards her staff, and clearly was comfortable acting above everyone else.

Not a good sign at all.

The way she treated her ‘friend’ was yet another bad sign. Just like her mother had her father as a lapdog she, too, had her friend as a lapdog. However, Pollen took note of how she did remember her name. That must count for something, she considered doubtfully.

School was a disaster for Pollen.

Chloe started out just as haughty as she had in the hotel. Somehow, she got worse. Rude to other students, sneering at and belittling them, and outright mean. Treating her ‘friend’ as a servant. Disregarding other’s feelings. Causing chaos in the class.

There was little Pollen saw as redeemable for Chloe. Between her attitude towards those who worked for her and her family and those who she spent most of her time around, acts of kindness were nigh impossible to find.

As they made their way home, Pollen mulled over how to find Ladybug or Master Fu. In theory, she could try and call out to the other kwami, but such an act took a lot of power and could draw the attention of Hawkmoth or worse. She could camp out until Ladybug and Chat Noir had to come out for another akuma, but how would she manage to transport her miraculous across the city without getting snatched by said akuma?

But as Chloe walked into the lobby of the hotel, her mother’s voice caught her attention.

“Clara!” Audrey strutted up to her daughter, typing away at her phone with one hand. “I need you to fetch me something dear.”

‘Clara?’ Pollen mused, ‘Her name’s Chloe.’

Chloe perked up. “Of course mother. And my name’s Chloe. What can I do for you?”

Audrey waved her hand, “Whatever you say, Cindy. I heard that Adrien Agreste, Gabriel’s son, is in your class. I need you to ensure that Gabriel seated me in the correct location this time. The reshoot of the fashion show is today and I will not be in the second row again.”

From where she could just see Chloe from the gap in her purse, Pollen watched her face fall before she straightened back up with a nod. “Of course! Putting you in the second row is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!”

“Yes, yes, now please leave. I have business to attend to Carrie.” Audrey dismissed Chloe with a wave before heading deeper into the hotel.

Chloe, despite being misnamed three times in a row, seemed determined to please her mother. She gripped the handle of her bag tighter before rummaging in it to fish out her phone. Barely looking up, she wandered towards the elevator that would take her to her penthouse suite.

When the doors closed and left Chloe alone in the elevator, Pollen poked her head out of the bag. “Is it often your mother gets your name wrong?”

Her lips thinned as she pressed them together. “Yes.” Chloe’s response was short and clipped.

Pollen mulled this response over. Pieces of the puzzle that was Chloe were falling into place. As the doors opened again, Pollen ducked back down into the purse.

Chloe continued to text until a smile lit her face up. “Oh, Adrikins! I can always count on you.”

She skipped into her room, shooting a text to her mother- who didn’t respond- that her seat was guaranteed to be in the front row. Chloe went to toss her bag before remembering that it was occupied and lowering it down on a chair gently.

“Alright, Pollen, how was I? As great as you imagined I would be?” Chloe placed the back of her hand under her chin proudly.

In lieu of an answer, Pollen merely replied,”It hasn’t been twenty four hours yet, Chloe.”

Chloe groaned, grumbling complaints about how her heroic qualities should be obvious by now, but ultimately let it go. They had made a deal, after all.

“Oh,” Chloe said suddenly, “Sabrina will be coming over soon, so you’ll want to hide out for a while.”

A perfect opportunity to see what Chloe was like behind closed doors.

Turns out, she was strangely sweet. 

Sabrina and Chloe played together like any teens would; watching shows together, gossiping- albeit in a less than kind way- doing each others’ make-up, and most embarrassingly playing ‘Ladybug and Chat Noir’. Despite herself, Pollen found it endearing.

Still, it was not enough to sway her. Endearing or not, Chloe was not fit for being a superhero.

///////

The fashion show was cute. True to word, Chloe and her family were sat in the front row where Audrey critiqued- quite loudly for such an event- each outfit that came about. A few she praised, but they were few and far between. 

When Adrien Agreste appeared, the Style Queen gave an appreciative hum. “What quality craftsmanship. Surely an exceptional designer made that hat.”

It wasn’t until after the show that things went south.

Audrey had approached Adrien and, to many’s surprise, Gabriel Agreste in the flesh to discuss the fashion. 

“My dear, it seems you’ve set up yet another exceptional line of clothing. That hat dear Adrien is wearing is quite the gem among them.” Audrey gushed to a polite but stone-faced Gabriel.

“Ah,” Gabriel began, “That hat is not a design of my own.”

Adrien piped up here, “It was actually made by a friend of mine! Marianette,” he called over his shoulder, locking eyes with a shocked dark haired girl. “Come show Audrey this hat you made!” 

Nervous and stuttering, Marianette explained the logistics of her hat and its design, from the synthetic feather to the careful craftsmanship. Audrey, a known harsh critic, glowed as she listened.

“Fabulous, my dear!” she crowed, “I simply must see more of your work. How would you like to come to New York with me to design more fashion for a line of mine?”

Pollen, invested in the conversation, was pulled out of it by a shaking sensation. She looked up to see Chloe outright trembling as she pulled her hands into fists.

“Mother! Why would you take her of all people!” Chloe burst out. All eyes turned to her. 

“Why, Connie, it’s because she is quite exceptional! I would recognize such talent a country away,” Audrey replied with a dismissive wave.

“So am I!” 

A laugh. “Dear, the only exceptional thing about you is your mother.”

Had it not been for the hubbub of people around them, you could have heard a pin drop. Chloe stared resolutely at the floor, teeth grinding together and tears threatening to fall. Marianette, for her part, looked like a deer in headlights, stuck between a sharp drop off a cliff and an incoming car.

“Now Audrey,” Gabriel started, before getting cut off.

“I am exceptional!” Chloe shouted. “I will show you! I’m going to be a super heroine! Just you wait, I’ll be better than this girl will ever be!”

Audrey outright cackled. “Oh honey, keep dreaming. There is not a heroic bone in your body.”

Eyes watering and lips trembling, Chloe turned on a dime and stormed off. Pollen caught Marianette make an aborted move towards her, but was stopped by Adrien putting a hand on her arm.

Fuming and ready to bawl, Chloe bust out the front doors and began running down the sidewalk. For minutes, safely tucked into Chloe’s bag, all Pollen can hear is hard footsteps, people shouting, and Chloe’s heavy breathing.

After hearing doors slam open and closed repeatedly, Chloe and Pollen are left in silence. When Pollen braved a look out the purse, she sees that they have found their way back to the locker room at Chloe’s school. Seeing that they were alone, she moved out into the open.

“Fuck!” Chloe exploded. “How dare she!”

Feeling the rage roiling off Chloe, Pollen rushed to calm her. “Chloe, take a deep breath. Give yourself a minute to let it simmer.”

Icy eyes shot up to look at Pollen. “Take a breath? Let it simmer? Are you kidding! I have done my best to make my mother see I am exceptional, so show her that  I am good enough, and what does she do? Invites Dupain-Cheng of all people to go with her to New York.”

Pacing back and forth in front of the benches, Chloe growled. “Do you know when the last time I saw my mother for more than a day was? Years ago! Years, Pollen!” Tears trickled down her cheeks as Chloe caved in on herself. “I’ve done my best to be just like her, to show her I can be great too. Why won’t she ever look at me?”

With a hesitant pause, Pollen reached a paw out to Chloe’s shoulder. “Some people can’t be pleased, Chloe. You shouldn’t base your self worth on the word of another.”

Chloe jerked her shoulder away, turning her back to Pollen. “You don’t understand.”

“My mother left when I was young.” She walked forward towards the door so that she could peer out the window. “I didn’t understand why. She didn’t even say goodbye.”

“But,” Chloe continued, “If I can just get her to see that I’m worth staying for, she’ll stay here. Maybe, just maybe, I can convince her to be part of our family again.”

Red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks turned back to Pollen. “It’s just so hard. She hardly cares for me at all.”

A pause. “Pollen?” Chloe bit her lip. “Am I unlovable?”

“Of course not. Chloe, no one is beyond love. Not even the worst of people.” Pollen could feel the tides shifting. Before, she was determined to leave Chloe behind. But now? Her heart ached at the thought of abandoning her.

Chloe starts to say something else, but all Pollen could hear was the flap of wings. Her eyes flicked to behind Chloe to where the locker room door was just set ajar. A delicate butterfly of deep, cracked purple squeezed its way inside.

“Chloe!” Pollen yelled. But it was too late. The butterfly touched down on her white sunglasses and disappeared without a sound.

A sudden blank look came across Chloe’s face. A purple butterfly mask appeared across her eyes. Every part of Pollen screamed that she was in danger. Not just from an akumatized Chloe, but from Hawkmoth knowing that she was with Chloe.

Her eyes darted around the room. She needed to hide. It would be safer for the both of them if she kept herself unknown.

“Yes, Hawkmoth.”

[breezy-bird-spinch]

CONSIDER

(I’m assuming this was made before Shotaro and Sungchan joined, so I’ll add them to houses 5 and 3 respectively)

House 1: Taeyong, Ten, Jungwoo, and they’re all giving the silent treatment

Pros:

- you can basically do whatever you want if they aren’t talking to you

- you’ve got Taeyong so the house will be nice and clean, and you can experience his holy cooking

- Taeyong and Ten mean you’ll have fish and cats to hang out with

- it’s never a boring day when Ten and Jungwoo, NCT’s confident gays, are in the same room

- imagine the gossip between these three that you can just listen in on

Cons:

- not bad for you, per se, but Louis and Leon mean those fish might not last too long

- Jungwoo’s probably gonna have a weird ass sleeping setup with the members like his current room with Jaehyun. Again not really bad, just weird.

- you can’t talk to them because they’re giving you the silent treatment

- no fruit if Ten’s there

Loophole: it wasn’t specified how long they’d be giving you the silent treatment for

House 2: Kun, Hendery, Jaemin, but you can only communicate by shouting as loud as you can

Pros:

- pure chaos

- Kun can cook and keep people alive; Hendery and Jaemin cannot

- waking up early won’t be a problem because you won’t be sleeping in the first place

- you finally have a good reason to buy those nice sound cancelling headphones you wanted

Cons:

- pure chaos

- I’ll give it three days for Kun to completely go insane

- between Hendery’s chaotic self and Jaemin’s espresso shots nobody’s getting any sleep ever

- those sound cancelling headphones won’t even work though because MinDery are too loud

Loophole: ha good luck there isn’t one

House 3: Doyoung, WinWin, Jeno, Sungchan, but the smoke alarm is on low battery and is beeping the whole time

Pros:

- seukka seukka

- Doyoung can keep the house clean

- WinWin would probably do chores out of boredom too

- Jeno will probably make beeping noises right with the smoke alarm, so at least it’ll be funny

- Sungchan can experience firsthand Doyoung’s wrath. Wait... is this a pro or a con??

Cons:

- until you’ve been kept up at night by a chirping smoke alarm, you have not felt true pain and suffering

- WinWin will probably cut all his hair off by the time quarantine is over. He’s barely got any sanity left please let him keep the crumbs he still has

- Doyoung may keep the house clean but he gets angry

- Sungchan’s tall enough to fix the alarm but bold of you to assume he knows how

Loophole: gl

House 4: Taeil, Lucas, Xiaojun, Chenle, but the only food is plain toast

Pros:

- Lucas came up with the idea of having different varieties of drinks to replace to blandness of having plain toast everyday

- Taeil, Chenle and Lucas are total party animals so no day would be boring

- Xiaojun and Chenle means you get Bella and Daegal too

- since you can only eat toast, Xiaojun can’t make his questionable oreo microwave cake

Cons:

- Chenle’s gonna lose it and cut Daegal’s hair again, save her

- Bella better watch out in case Chenle comes for her next

- Chef Moon Taeil is quaking because all they can eat is toast

- You just can’t let Haechan know you were spending time with Daegal because he will end you

- the house will probably be a mess since Taeil is part of the 10th floor and Xiaojun and Lucas are part of the WayV dorms. And Chenle

- Bella’s gonna pee on the floor again and Xiaojun will have had enough at that point and leave the house to go join the goose mafia

Loophole: the toast has to be plain, which I’d assume means you can’t have anything on it. Nothing mentions the kind of toast. You got wheat toast, white toast, rye toast, etc.

House 5: Yuta, Mark, Renjun, Jisung, Shotaro, but the house is super haunted

Pros:

- Mark freestyle rapping while everyone else is screaming and getting chased around by evil spirits

- Yuta would tell scary ghost stories to freak everyone out but you’d probably cackle at Mark’s scared face. “I- I’m not scared, dude. Nah, yo”

- Taro’s safe because nobody can get angry at his cuteness and he’s too pure to be haunted by anything. The spirits love him

- Mark and Jisung are banned from the kitchen, so no house fires unless Renjun snaps

- Yuta’s just vibing and here for the ride honestly

Cons:

- Who tf was cruel enough to put Jisung in the haunted house group?? Boy gets scared so easily

- Renjun would realize the house is haunted and be like “please take them”

- if he doesn’t kill the other members himself out of rage

- honestly you’ll walk into the living room to catch him sitting by a pentagram and candles with Jisung as a sacrifice

Loophole: hehe good luck :)

House 6: Johnny, Jaehyun, Haechan, YangYang, but there’s no internet/tv/video games

Pros:

- Johnny’s jokes

- experience Jaehyun’s unbothered (• ◡ •) ?? look in all its glory

- Johnny, YangYang and Haechan could be screaming at the top of their lungs meanwhile Jaehyun’s just looking into some imaginary camera like he’s on the office, mentally sipping a margarita thousands of miles away on some tropical beach and you will laugh your ass off

- just lots of laughs and probably pranks

Cons:

- could Haechan and YangYang actually survive that long without internet?? Nah

- I mean they could but it would be at the expense of everyone else’s safety and sanity

- pretty sure these four could be considered a frat

- have fun being trapped in a house with four bored extroverts for who knows how long

- you’ll slowly go insane

Loophole: no video games? Play monopoly and watch Jaehyun’s competitive ego crumble as Haechan takes control of half the board

I’d probably choose house 1, 2, or 6. 1 because my ult bias is there, and so are his cats, and cats bring serotonin. 2 because who needs sleep when you have fun, screaming and coffee?? 6 because come on. Those four members stuck in a house with no internet has some comedic possibilities.

[purplesurveys]

942

“ar_”

ARB Have you ever had strawberry rhubarb pie? Do you like it? I have not. I’m afraid I don’t even entirely know what rhubarb is; I wouldn’t call it a part of Filipino culture. I don’t know if I would like this kind of pie; I prefer my pies more savory than fruity. Do you like carbs a little too much? Yes ma’am. I can’t exist without heaps of rice in every meal. Last garb you wore? The last fancy/formal thing I wore was my business casual look for last Thursday’s interview. I felt a little overdressed arriving at the office because the other applicants just wore a shirt and jeans...but ultimately I think it was better that I looked more prepared than they did lol. Do you know anyone named Barb? There’s a teacher in my old school named Barbie but the other teachers call her Barb. ARC Would you like to see the Arc de Triumphe? Sure.

Are you a narc? That’s not a common slang where I live, but I’m gonna say no. ARD Have you ever read “The Tales of the Beetle and the Bard”? Nope, I’ve never heard of it. Do you have a credit or debit card? Debit. I don’t exactly know how credit cards work just yet, so my dad has kept me from getting one hahahaha. What’s the last card you received? For which holiday? We don’t really exchange cards over here. We tend to go ahead and give physical gifts, no matter how simple it is. I think the last one I received was a birthday card from Athenna, five years ago. That was a different time. What’s something that is hard for you? Letting go. I have serious issues with abandonment and I always feel like it’s the end of the world when someone leaves my life or something I’ve been accustomed to abruptly ends. I’ve never been good at handling all of that. Do you ever feel like a tub of lard? I am almost positive that I’ve never felt like one before. What is in your front yard? How is it landscaped? Just a few plants and a tree that my grandpa planted for my mom shortly before he passed. Last piece of meat that you’ve charred? I’ll get back to this question in a few years where I’ve hopefully learned how to cook a few things, including meat. Have you ever lived with barred windows? No. That sounds awful. Is it easy for you to let your guard down? Just with the right people. Otherwise I prefer keeping a wall up; no one else needs to know who I am behind closed doors. Have you ever cut yourself on a shard of glass? No. Again, sounds like my worst nightmare. This happened to my mom a year ago and I remember being unable to help her because I would’ve proceeded to just faint anyway lmao Favorite barnyard animal? Cows. What do you like to do in your backyard? Cooper loves our backyard, so I bring him there to play and run. He loves staying there so much more than actually walking around the neighborhood, which is a little confusing but still endearing. What do you think of people who use the word “retard”? They’re stuck in the late 2000s and early 2010s and need to be schooled on Twitter as soon as possible lol. Last person you sent warm regards to? The HR person who hooked me up with my internship. What do you tend to disregard? Fake news or people who routinely share fake news, for obvious reasons. Have you ever worn a leotard before? For what? I’ve worn a swimsuit as a leotard, but I’ve never owned a leotard that was meant to be that.

ARF Last time you barfed? I kept hurling last week when I did a lot of crying and had a few breakdowns, but nothing ever came up. The last time I puked would be over a year ago when I was at Pop-Up with friends. Last food you scarfed down? My mom’s burger from last night. Do you rock a fashion scarf? Nah, not really my article of choice. What does your winter scarf look like? I don’t own one. ARK What pair of animals would you like to bring on Noah’s ark? I would try to save as many of them as possible; but in the cruel circumstance that I only have limited choices, I would prioritize stray cats and dogs first as well as cats and dogs in animal shelters. Did you used to watch Arthur the aardvark? I did not watch the show – I’m not sure if they ever aired it here – but I liked reading Arthur books. Those were one of my favorites to read at the library. Have you ever been to a ballpark? No. Well baseball is not a popular sport here so it’s not like we’ve got lots of those, and the few that we have are a little dilapidated due to a lack of interest or support in the sport...we do have a field in my old school that’s designated for our softball games, but it’s hardly a legit softball field. Is your bark worse than your bite? If this is a saying or slang, I don’t know what it means. What’s a personal benchmark of yours? Hmm I know what a benchmark refers to, but I’m not exactly sure of the context in this question. Where is your birthmark? My most distinguishable birthmark is on the upper left region of my back, but I also have one by my butt. I used to have one on my right arm that was green-blue when I was an infant, but now it’s nothing more than a super slight discoloration that is only noticeable if you look hard enough. Do you fold book pages over, or use a bookmark? I remember the page number. I don’t like the gaps that bookmarks create, and I like keeping the pages of my book pristine. Are you afraid of the dark? Only if the context is meant to be scary, like how abandoned houses or forests are dark. I like the dark when I’m trying to fall asleep though. Do you prefer dark or light colors? I prefer neither extreme. I like muted and pastel tones. Last time you disembarked a ship? 2016. Last time you embarked on an adventure? End of February, 2020. Do you celebrate any of the hallmark holidays? Some of them, but I take them seriously a lot less than the actual holidays. I celebrate them primarily because I have people in my life who value those Hallmark holidays, so I greet them so they don’t feel forgotten, like greeting my parents on Mother’s/Father’s Day. If I had it my way I’d ignore those holidays completely, though. Do you watch the Hallmark channel? No. I don’t think we even have that channel here. Do you like the song “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”? I have nothing against it. Which landmark would you like to visit? The pyramids at Giza. Last mark you made on a paper? I made random scribbles because I was just checking if my pen had ink. Do you know anyone named Mark? I don’t think so. No Marks are coming to mind. Have you ever heard a lark sing? Nope. Do you know how to parallel park? Yeah but I’m kind of cheating a bit because I own a really tiny car that fits nearly anywhere ha. What’s your favorite activity to do at the park? We don’t have any public parks...if we did, I imagine I’d have picnics and take my dogs there for long walks. Last postmarked piece of mail you received? I don’t really receive mail of my own. Last person you left a remark for? Idk maybe my dad when I remarked how spicy the sisig he made for dinner was. Do you speak with a lot of snark? Only in private or with my closest friends. I try not to be snarky with workmates. Do you ever have the Baby Shark song stuck in your head? That does happen sometimes, yes. Until today ha. Last time you went around your house stark naked? Oof, I never walk around the entire house naked. I only do so in the bathroom and within my own room. What’s your signature trademark? Everyone knows me as loving Paramore, so maybe that. Does it bother you when there’s a watermark on an image that you want to use? Sometimes yes, sometimes I realize someone took effort for that image and probably just needs to earn a little bit for it. ARL Who did you snarl at last? I don’t snarl a lot these days. Are your fingers gnarled? No. I don’t actually know what this means but my fingers are pretty healthy so I’m guessing it’s not whatever gnarled is. ARM Have you ever broken an arm? Nopes. Do you keep people at an arm’s length? In some ways, like how I refuse to talk about the things I’m going through and I don’t like showing most people that I struggle.

Last time you went to a farm? I’m not sure if I’ve been to one. We drive through fields and farms all the time, in the provinice; but we’ve never actually stopped over and went to a farm. Do you self-harm? Yes. Surprisingly, I haven’t done so this month. But yes, I have in general. What time is your alarm set for? For a while it wasn’t set to anything but now that I have an internship I’ll probably need to set it to at least around 8 AM. Do you own any firearms? No thanks. Would you get a tattoo on your forearm? Sure. Do you have a certain charm about you? Don’t you kind of have to ask other people when it comes to possessing charm? I certainly wouldn’t endorse this myself, lol. Do you need to be disarmed? I have nothing on me, so no. ARN Were you raised in a barn? I was not. I grew up in a house in a suburban-ish neighborhood. Do you use “damn” or “darn” more often? Damn. I’ve never used darn...or if I have, it would’ve been well over a decade ago. Do you knit or crochet with yarn? I don’t crochet or knit. ARP Have you ever caught a carp while fishing? No, I’ve never gone fishing before actually.

Do you like harp seals? I’ve never heard of them until now but it’s an automatic yes for me because they are animals. Would you like to learn how to play the harp? Sure. Name something in your house that is sharp? Keys. Is anything you own covered by a tarp? No. ART Last time you fell apart? This morning. Well, it’s 2 AM now so it’s more accurate to say yesterday morning. Are you good at any sort of art forms? Not at all. I like coloring and painting, but with painting I like those that come with paint-by-number guides. I’m not very creative myself and don’t know for the life of me what colors work together and I’m terrible at creating images. Last place you used a shopping cart? Grocery store, ages ago. Have you ever created a chart in Microsoft Excel? Yes but it’s not my favorite thing in the world to do. Who is your other counterpart? I dunno if I have anyone. Angela, I guess. Do you like to play darts? I’ve never played it but it looks fun and I’m always up for a friendly game. Who’s the last person you departed from? My family, when I left the living room where we were all staying at to go back to my bedroom to resign for the evening. How often do you fart? Never. I don’t like the sensation and if I feel one coming I suppress it lol. No one has heard me do it before, and I don’t plan on making it heard hahahaha How’s your heart been feeling lately? Not well. Is there a K-Mart or a PetSmart where you live? No. Is it easy for you to outsmart a child? Idk man, they can be a little surprise at times. Where is the part in your hair? It’s on the left side. Have you ever gotten a part in a play? No, because I’ve never auditioned for one. Not interested in that kind of activity, either. Last time you had to restart your computer? It’s been a while. Would you consider yourself to be smart? In some ways, like in academics. What trend would you like to start? I don’t feel like starting one. Do you like tarts?     Not very much, but my old school has this trademark tart that I love so much. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[falloutdialogue]

Codsworth Dialogue (Long Post

In the Chinese Submarine

[Doesn't like the idea of helping a Chinese Ghoul] Sir/Mum, I do hope you know what you're doing helping this... captain.

[impressed, but not too happy about it] An impressive bit of machinery... for communist wankers.

Hmph. I suppose the red bastards deserve some credit for the state of this submarine.

Cleaning

I can hardly believe a place like this actually exists. I don't even feel the urge to clean.

Watch your step, sir/mum. So much dirt and debris. I can't imagine how long it'd take to sweep this place out.

[Seeing an office with chairs arranged in a circle] I've the most incredible urge to rearrange those chairs in a more perfect circle.

This room's a sight for sore sensors. I wonder who's been keeping it up all this time.

Can it be? A residence untouched by time?

Hubris Comics

Looking for the next issue of Grognak, sir/mum?

[excited at first. Then a little less impressed - Finding the Silver Shroud sound stage] Why, it's the Silver Shroud sound stage. My, but it's... low budget.

USS Constitution

[USS Constitution] This ship looks quite the mystery. Run aground on a bank and not a scratch on her!

Oh yes. Nothing to see here but a ship stuck in a skyscraper.

Trinity Towers/Height

[At the top] Please tell me we're heading back down.

[At the top] Oh my. Mum, please tell me we're heading back down.

[Looking up at a tall building] Please tell me we aren't going to the top. I can't imagine what the years have done to this building's stability.

[Quarry is drained to reveal it’s very deep] Oh my, that was really quite deep.

[Looking up at a tall building] Please don't tell me we're going all the way up there, sir/mum? I can already feel my acrophobia taking hold.

I do hope this overpass holds out long enough for us to get back down... safely, I should say.

Have I mentioned I'm afraid of heights? Especially ones with ramshackle crumbly bits?

Seeing the Player’s Dead Spouse

Sir/Mum, I'm... I'm so sorry.

[Worried at first... Then realizes it's the body of the player's spouse] Oh dear, is that... sir/mum?

Combat Zone

[Behind the scenes in the combat zone] Quite the theatrical set up back here. I can only imagine the elaborate plays that were performed here.

A cage? How uncivilized.

Gwinnet Brewery

[Disgusted] I'd be very dubious of the quality here. Sanitation looks to be at an all time low.

[Jokingly at first, trails off into a bit of worry at the end] Up for a tour of the ol' brewery, sir/mum? I can't imagine they charge... although I can't vouch for the safety either.

Miscellaneous Nervous/Disgusted/Cautioning

I can't imagine anything friendly is hiding down here.

Quite disturbing down here, is it not?

By Jove!

[Looking at a pool filled with radioactive waste and spewing up small geysers] That's an unfortunate water feature for you.

Sir/Mum, I'm picking up the sounds of a fairly... large creature taking a snooze. Best be on the quiet side.

I'm guessing we won't find a welcome mat here.

What is it about empty tourist attractions that can be so haunting?

Moments like this make me thankful I've no stomach.

Looks like the "mystery meat" mystery has been solved... Just goes to show, some things are better left unanswered.

I say, Vault-Tec really does enjoy crossing the line, don't they? Watching these poor souls like animals in a lab.

[concerned more for himself then the player, near water] Heading in, are we, sir? Just... try not to fall overboard.

Sir/Mum, I'm picking up dangerously high levels of radiation. Best not linger here if you value your health.

[Seeing a raider stronghold at the end of a tunnel] Oh, this is where we turn around, right, sir/mum? 

[Seeing a large crater] Watch your step, sir/mum. Don't want to topple in unexpectedly.

[Inside an old water turbine] Sir/Mum, I do hope you're certain this turbine is no longer functional. The implications if it were to turn on are... not good.

Quite a novel idea, building a ramshackle town on an overpass. Especially if you hate yard work.

[Hearing a voice from a fridge] Sir/Mum, I do believe that fridge requires your attention.

Sir/Mum, no matter what may befall us, I hope suicide is never an answer you seek.

Sarcastic/Joking

Ah, another fine mess of a parking garage. I wonder what awaits us this time. 

If I'm not mistaken, and my database says I'm not, that's a pyramid.

Just another welcoming and friendly neighborhood in the Commonwealth.

Are we going in there, sir/mum? You know how much I love water.

[In a hospital]  Look, sir/mum, no wait. Medical miracles do exist.

[Looking at a settlement built in a nuke crater] Ah yes, the moment I see a nuclear crater, I think, "Home, sweet home."

Ah yes, nothing like cozying up to a barrel of nuclear waste for the night.

This place is just full of charm, isn't it?

[In an old bowling alley] Fancy a game, sir/mum? Something tells me the bumpers are no longer available.

[Seeing a crane you could walk on to reach an above highway] Feel like taking the high road? It appears that crane can get us there.

[In a sniper’s nest after killing the sniper.] With a view like this, it's a wonder we're still alive. Either that or our late friend here shouldn't have quit his day job.

Ah nothing like the warm glow of a fusion reactor, wouldn't you agree, sir/mum?

[Watching raiders and synths fight in a subway] Never a dull moment in the subway stations.

[Finding a lighthouse lit up by glowing ones] That's one way to light up your lighthouse.

At least radio is still alive these days. I wonder if they'll ever manage to revive the telly.

[At the bottom of an irradiated crater filled with feral ghouls] And of course the crater comes with its own welcoming party of Feral Ghouls.

Looks like these Raiders became quite the Feral feast.

[In the storage room of a blood bank] This must be the clinic's storage. Bloody impressive, wouldn't you say, sir/mum.

An ideal spot for some light camping, I'd say. Minus the mirelurks, of course.

[In a hidden room where a bomb was being made] That's one "do it yourself" project I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Up for a bit of sport, sir/mum? I could give you quite the run for your money.

[Looking up at a giant Mister Handy Statue] Ah General Atomics. Only the topmost quality in consumer robotics.

Ah a secret, underground base! Right out of the ol' spy novel, wouldn't you say, sir/mum?

[At an old car factory] Ah the Corvega. I like to think of it as a distant cousin.

[Encountering Super Mutants wearing sailor hats.] Who'd have thought Super Mutants fancied a bit of dress up.

Robot Racing

Ah the nerve center of this charade. Sir/Mum, I beg you to shut this place down.

I say! General Atomics' finest, reprogrammed as simple... race horses for bloody Raiders? Appalling!

[timeagainreviews]

Classic Baddies for the Thirteenth Doctor!

As a fan of classic Doctor Who, one of my favourite elements of the new series has been the anticipation as to which classic villains will make an appearance. Not only is it cool to see more of these older monsters, but it’s also exciting to see how they update their look. Some really nail it too. Keeping the classic design of the Daleks while making them look more tank-like and utilitarian in 2005 was a masterstroke. I liked that they embraced the Ice Warriors’ original look as well. While I may not be as hot on the updated Silurians, or Autons, it’s always fun to see classic villains regardless.

When Chris Chibnall mentioned that there would be no classic villains in series 11, my heart sank a little. Are they necessary for Doctor Who to be successful? Not hardly. But it’s fun dammit. Even if they were cameos like the Macra or the Movellans, these were moments I looked forward to. I have a sort of checklist I like to go through with each series of new Who. Are there classic villains? Check. Does the Doctor meet a figure from history? Check. Series 11 has one of those.

It’s been no secret that a major criticism of series 11 has been its lack of compelling villains. I myself have been vocal about this disappointment. So I thought I would make up a list of 10 classic villains I would like to see the Thirteenth Doctor go up against. I’m basing these off a few factors. Personal favourites, Jodie’s vibe, the era, etc. Enjoy! And feel free to add your own!

1. Autons

First Appearance: "Spearhead from Space" (1970)

I know they have already returned. I know I said I didn’t like their update. That’s exactly why they’re on this list now. I didn’t exactly hate the updated Autons when I first watched them. At the time, I didn’t have any classic villains to compare them to, as they were new to me. I thought they were pretty corny and not very scary, even as they did openly murder people in the streets of London. But when seeing "Spearhead from Space," for the first time, I was supremely creeped out. The newer Autons remind me of the movie theatre scene in “Human Traffic.” Just a bunch of dancers doing the robot. Not very scary. And turning the Nestine consciousness into a big vat of CGI goo, as compared to a giant plastic space squid seems like a crime. They’re due an update.

2. Voord

First Appearance: "The Keys of Marinus" (1964)

These guys creep me out. Their costumes are really stupid, and I still find them creepy. They’re like spiky fish men mixed with Egyptian gods. Ignoring the weird "Voord became Cybermen," storyline, and focusing on the fishman aspect would be the way to go. Could you imagine their costume if updated correctly? I picture a mix between Edward Scissorhands and a scuba diver. I’ve wanted to see Jodie encounter these guys ever since "The Ghost Monument," reminded me of "The Keys of Marinus." Something about First Doctor villains with the first female Doctor kinda works for me too. Speaking of First Doctor villains…

3. Zarbi

First Appearance: "The Web Planet" (1965)

Ok, so this one is a bit of a cheat. I know the Zarbi aren’t really a villain by their own doing. In many ways, these oversized ants are just dumb animals. But the biggest way this is a cheat is because I just want them so we can have the Menoptera! I love those stupid moth cuties. I think an updated one of them could look really fun. Think the aliens from the queue scene in the "Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy," movie. Something between realistic, and fantastical. They would also add a much-needed sense of levity to the Chibnall era.

4. The Dominators

First Appearance: "The Dominators" (1968)

The Dominators are a race of men whose name pretty much describes their modus operandi. Having long ago developed beyond the need for women, these guys seem an obvious choice to go up against a female Doctor. Their look is simple enough to update. They need only to look armoured and militaristic. Their robot drones, the Quarks, would be the real challenge to update, but I’m sure they’d nail it. I would be interested in seeing a more bureaucratic ruling class of Dominators as well. Perhaps instead of having a male and female population, they have the soldiers and the suits. Could be a really interesting way to talk about the insular nature of toxic masculinity. This would fit in well with Thirteen’s villains being chauvinistic shitbirds that don’t like women much.

5. Axons

First Appearance: "The Claws of Axos" (1971)

I’ve heard the Axons get a bit of flack in the past, which is bananas to me. There’s so much potential there. They have a rather psychedelic look, and then they get super gross. I’ve always seen them as very retro style monsters. Jodie’s costume has a real 1970’s "Godspell," look about it, so I always picture her going up against monsters that look the part. They wouldn’t be hard to update either. I would make the golden lines on their humanoid forms slightly raised, like a system of fibres across their skin. And of course, their squidgy red form could be a tangled mass of CGI that kinda bubbles up from the gold lines. The transformation scenes could get very visceral. They’ve got a sneaky nature about them. Like anglerfish, their beautiful golden appearance conceals a horrific monster. They’re known for making Faustian deals with people fool enough to believe their lies. How could we resist?

6. The Mara

First Appearance: "Kinda" (1982)

Many people love the Kinda/Snakedance storyline. I wasn’t sure what to make of either serial, as the quality of both waivers. Over time, though, I’ve come to really appreciate them as stories. I have a love for characters that exist as a sort of gestalt. There’s something very unsettling about a hive mind. As The Doctor has three companions this time around. There’s lots of room for one of them to go off and become possessed by an evil snake god for a while. Either Graham or Ryan becoming hosts for the Mara could be an interesting way to explore their relationship. While the DVD release saw an updated version of the Mara’s snake form, I’m sure the modern show can do one better. They’ve already done giant spiders, now let's see them do a giant snake!

7. The Rani

First Appearance: "The Mark of the Rani" (1985)

While I am aware many people dislike the Rani, and the idea of Chris Chibnall choosing a character created by Pip and Jan Baker is unlikely, I still don’t care. Any character can be made good in the hands of a competent writer. All it takes is one good idea. Personally, I’ve never really gotten the guff she’s been given. As a woman capable of cruel scientific experiments, the Rani is a ruthless Time Lady with more guile than the Master. People want to see Thirteen with Missy because they’re both women now, but we’ve had an evil Time Lady for years, and I’d be interested to see what regeneration might bring for her… or him?

8. Rutans

First Appearance: "The Horror of Fang Rock" (1977)

First Mentioned: “The Time Warrior” (1973)

The Rutans are long enemies of the Sontaran race. I would love to see them amp up the danger by getting stuck in the middle of a skirmish between the two races. I would like to see the Sontarans presented as formidable once again. The Doctor Who video game "The Gunpowder Plot," did update their look, to a decent degree. Either way, modern Who could make a Rutan look much more imposing with CGI, or even practical effects. I’d imagine something like a green man o’ war. Jodie’s Doctor’s tendency to mediate during conflict could land her trying to broker peace between the two races. Could she be successful or would she have to count her losses?

9. Drashigs

First Appearance: "Carnival of Monsters" (1973)

Here we have yet another Robert Holmes creation! (The other two being the Autons and the Rutans) While mostly just mindless monsters that can eat through anything, I’ve always loved these horrific beasts. With heads the size of a Volkswagen bug, and an appetite for anything in their way, these guys could really add in a danger element. I doubt they could really carry an episode by themselves, but they’d make a great threat! They may be alien snake monsters, but you may have a creeping familiarity when looking at them. This is because the puppets used were constructed around the skulls of real dogs! While I’m sure these pups died of natural causes, the information has always given them an air of creepiness and realism. As Third Doctor era baddies go, these toothy terrors were some of the more believable creatures yet! They wouldn’t need much of an update, looks wise. Part of me would still want them to be puppets. I’d imagine Thirteen’s compassion for misunderstood creatures would send her on a danger defying attempt to save their lives!

10. The Scorchies

First Appearance: "The Scorchies" (2013)

Ok, so this one is another cheat. Technically these aren’t "classic Who" villains. They come from the audios, but I’m counting them because they’re from a Third Doctor era storyline! If you count the mention of the Rutans in "The Time Warrior," this marks the fifth baddie from the Third Doctor era. What is it about that period that is so mineable? Originally a species with bodies, they lost their corporeal form when their planet was invaded and they were transported to safety via television broadcast waves! In their new puppet bodies, they go from planet to planet hypnotising their inhabitants and burning them! Why? Because they’re salty. So why them?  Well, for starters, look at these guys! Jodie’s Doctor has always reminded me as a bit of mad kids’ show presenter, with her bright colours and friendly appearance. Seeing her with puppets almost feels natural. I love the idea so much that I photoshopped it! It would also make Doctor Who history. While the Eighth Doctor mentioned his audio companions in "The Night of the Doctor," no audio characters have ever made an appearance in the show (at least to my knowledge). Appearance wise, they’d be easy to create. If they wanted to go the extra mile, they could partner with the Jim Henson Creature Shop for an added distinction. I feel like no matter what you do, these little critters could draw a crowd. People would watch just to see if Doctor Who has lost its damn mind! If done right, it could be a fun romp! Who says Doctor Who villains always have to be serious?

Well, that’s it for my list! Did you agree? Do you think poor Natalie needs to get her head checked out? Feel free to reblog with your own additions! I’d love to read what you think! Expect the review of this weekend’s Doctor Who either Sunday or Monday. I’ve not yet re-watched Marco Polo, which I might actually do today, but it’s on my list to write it next week! It’s going to be the first reconstruction I’m doing, so it should be interesting! I’m not sure if I will supplement any of it with the Target novelisation, but I am thinking not. We’ll see! It’s still early into the series!

[thepeterman]

quiet now,

you’ll miss it

It is hot.

And not just regular, oh sweet baby Jesus someone please find me an air conditioner stat hot, no. This was hell hath finally descended upon us, nothing you mere mortals could do will stop this fiery fury type hot. The kind of heat that eats you from the inside out, and slowly drills at your sanity.

So of course, logically, Rapunzel planted herself in her beanbag chair, grabbed a worryingly old bag of peas from the freezer, and fished her tiny fan from the attic. Which, she doesn't think, should be able to disgrace the names of good, fully functioning fans with it's blasphemes title.

She's three pages into her newest Spider-Man comic, and three inches drenched in sweat, when her window is opened.

In the past, Rapunzel has wondered if their admittedly flawed system would let undesirables into her bedroom while she least suspects it, but then she decided she'd take her chances. There is something about having Hiccup have his own way into her house that makes something pleasant settle in her stomach.

He whistles before stumbling his way in, tripping over gangly limbs and his natural nemesis. Air.

"I can't believe you've braved the outside. You sir, have earned a seat in the chair." She hums without looking up at him.

Hiccup chuckles dryly, like he wants to be annoyed but can't, and falls unceremoniously into her side, shifting so their bodies fit comfortably. Curling in on each other, as she offers him one side of her comic.

He smiles gently, reaching over and producing two absolutely stunning popsicles, one of the famed spider, and the other none other than SpongeBob himself. "I heard the truck. Figured you'd probably be slow roasting in the fortress." He has the decency to look bashful, as they both know he lives too far to have gotten these on his street. And from the steep rise and fall of his chest, Rapunzel can tell he rode his bike all this way.

Grinning softly, she leans up and kisses his cheek, shyly taking the extended popsicle. "I can't believe I thought this was gonna be a bad day."

---

It is art day, and Mother isn't taking this as serious as she should be. Rapunzel's been sitting on the steps, frowning at her stupid tie, and super cool Sailor Moon backpack for the past ten minutes, just waiting for her mom to finish her makeup.

"We're going to be late!" Rapunzel screams, knowing it will be useless. She thinks, perhaps, it is time for her to bring up the subject of the bus.

By the time she gets to school, Ms. Ellie just smiles gently at her Very Adamant excuse for being late, as Rapunzel thought it necessary to explain the note her mother left. Being ushered to her seat, she noticed a boy where there was not one, previous.

He had shaggy brown hair that fell over his face, as he leaned over the desk, concentrated on his drawing.

Which she should be, too. Right.

And as soon as she got lost in the sound of her crayon hitting the page, and losing herself in between now and her canvas, someone has to ruin it. Because, apparently, that is just the way Rapunzel's life works.

It's Snotlout, leaned over her desk, his eyebrows creased at her picture. She feels a kind of self consciousness spike through her veins, that's never existed in the same space as her art. The very same feeling she gets when she works up the courage to look in a mirror.

"Stars don't do that, you dummy." His mouth twists, a cruel happy little thing, that kind of makes Rapunzel's blood boil.

She doesn't think she's anything like him. The kind of kid that gets mad over the small things, but she is just six, after all.

"They aren't stars, duh!" She answers back, defensive, trying for the same meanness in his tone, but doesn't quite manage it.

"Oh yeah, what are they then?"

And she's stuck, staring at her picture. An open field, with her and the lights. The ones that fill her dreams, and float in her imagination. Rapunzel thinks about them so much, that sometimes she wonders if maybe she could touch them. She knows they aren't stars, she's seen them on Tv and read about them in books, she just isn't sure what exactly they're called, either.

He huffs, triumphant, "See-"

"Lanterns." A quiet voice from behind them speaks up, squeaky and shy.

She whips around to face the boy she was staring at earlier, this time face to face with his deep green eyes. He has freckles and a scratch and he reminds her of the forest and open skies.

"What?" Snotlout demands, since his default setting is annoyed.

"They're called lanterns. Everybody knows they aren't stars." He talking to Snotlout, but keeps glancing to her every time his voice wanes. Speaking a little louder when she smiles at him.

Snotlout looks thoroughly downsized, marching back to his seat without another word. The gratefulness bursting of her chest is a little hard to contain, Rapunzel wonders if this is what those locked up princesses feel.

With a glance to Ms. Ellie, she turns fully in her chair, folding her arms on his desk. "Thanks! I'm Rapunzel, by the way." She says brightly, reaching over to shake his hand.

"Hiccup." He responds, timidly taking her hand.

"What an odd name for a Knight."

---

"I just don't see the point of it." Hiccup whines, even as he's lacing up his boots. He looks out to the ice so anxiously, that Rapunzel has to bite back a smile.

"It's fun, Hicceroni. That's all the reason we need."

Winter break is probably the best thing to happen to Rapunzel this year. High school has been exhausting on the both of them, as a result, she rarely sees her best friend anymore. With a week full of nothing but free time and endless possibility, they spent their time wisely. Playing video games in his room, and catching up on shows they've vowed to only complete together (may they be spared by the All Powerful Cancel gods).

But as they were flicking through channels, and Rapunzel hovered the kids networks, they came across Ice Princess.

"Please don't."

Rapunzel chooses to ignore her clueless best friend. Who has no concept of taste, all of a sudden if he can't appreciate this piece of cinematic brilliance.

"Ice skating. Who even does that?" He grumbles. She supposes they're over looking the twenty minutes he has engrossed himself into the movie.

"Um lots of people? Figure skaters? Everyone?"

"Not everyone."

Rapunzel feels like she's been punched in the gut. "Please tell me I am hearing this wrong, Hicmister. Tell me you've been ice skating."

"Um?"

And here they are. At the Winter festival as children scream and giggle on the ice, and couples get cuddly in the cold and that one guy shows off years of forced childhood lessons.

Hiccup watches them all with a pout. It's adorable.

"Alrighty. Class' in session, kids. Lets get out there."

Rapunzel tugs at his hand, as he stays firmly planted on the seat, "I'm going to embarrass myself."

"Nobody is going to be paying attention to you. It'll be just you and me out there," he doesn't look the least bit swayed, "And you embarrass yourself in front of me all the time." That, at least, gets an amused eye roll and resigned sigh. 

"Atta boy."

The next hour is spent crashing into random people, a few dozen butt tumbles, and snowflakes falling in eyelashes.

Rapunzel grips Hiccup's hands, effortlessly skating backward, giggling at the horror stricken face Hiccup makes every time he so much as stumbles. "I think you're getting the hang out it." She grins up at him.

Hiccup laughs, disbelief all over his face, "You know, I think I am!"

"Alright, I'm gonna let go..."

"Rapunzel, don't!"

He yanks on her hands, somehow pushing them both to the ground as they lose their balance. It's a mess of limbs and awkward head butts, as Hiccup falls forward directly in her lap. His hands are on the ice, head on her collarbones. Rapunzel instinctively wraps her around around his middle, butt surely bruised.

It's silent for a moment, and then they meet eyes, bursting out in laughter, leaning on each other for support.

"So...hot chocolate?" She suggests.

"You're paying."

---

"-it's all about gravity!" Hiccup excitedly explains, gesturing wildly with his hands as they walk down the street.

Rapunzel sips her Capri sun saved from lunch, listening intently. She doesn't have much to add, but it seems cool. "You're such a dork." She laughs, anticipating his indignant squawk. "What do we need to build it?"

Hiccup closes his mouth, cutting off what was going to be another tirade, surprise coloring his features. She wonders how many people have told him his ideas are cool. She wonders if maybe she's the first.

His gentle smile warms her heart in a way the summer sun was never able to.

---

"Now tell me that's not an engaging character! Emotional turmoil, heart in two places. As he has to choose over his wife--the only family he has left, and his best friend. The person who raised him! Sure, maybe his Fall could have been better handled, but movies have limited time. And if you're telling me Obi-Wan and Anakin's fight isn't the best thing you've ever seen you're lying-"

"On your right." Rapunzel hums, watching the screen where she knew Hiccup wasn't.

"Thanks. What was I saying?"

"Mustafar."

"Oh right. The music alone-"

---

"Please tell me I am not seeing what I think I'm seeing." Rapunzel groans, leaning back on Hiccup's door.

He feigns a remorseful look that is just for her sanity, as he pets the midnight black, one way ticket out of the dorms. The dog, cruel little cute thing, turns it's huge green eyes on her.

Disgusting.

"I couldn't just leave him, Punz."

Dumbfounded, Rapunzel gestures to the tiny messy living space, and second bed shoved in the corner. "Well I don't know if you've noticed, bud, but you can't just keep him, either."

"I've been thinking about that. Jack's not gonna tell, probably. And even if I get caught, Rider's pretty cool, he hardly ever deals out maximum punishments. Besides, I've got you." He lays it on thick, there at the end. Giving her his best puppy dog eyes, which somehow haven't lost power with the scruff and angled jaw.

Going for the gut, Rapunzel respectfully commends him. Solid A, manipulating skills.

In the end, Rapunzel was going to say yes as soon as she stepped through the door. She is helpless against double puppy eyes, and with an actual puppy.

"What's his name?" She sighs, trying hard not to sound as defeated as she feels.

By Hiccup's grin, she failed. Miserably. "Toothless."

"That's it. We're finding him a new home, you are clearly unfit."

---

"So, you see any ladies ya diggin'?"

Hiccup looks up from his book, eyebrow quirked. "Alright Kenickie, here in modern society we speak people talk."

Rapunzel rolls her eyes and drops into the seat beside him, laying her entire body against his. "Prom is coming up."

He snorts, tucking his hand behind her head, and absently playing with her hair. "This explains your weird caveman talk how...?"

"Hiccup! Neither of us have dates, and as a connoisseur of popular media, this is the biggest travesty to ever descend upon our adolescent lives!"

"Will we ever recover?"

"No! We will forever be doomed to our stag prom statuses."

"Is this a reversible curse or...?"

"Hiccup! You're not seeing the serious business levels of our situation!" Rapunzel frowns, leaning forward to look him in the eyes.

He sighs, kissing her forehead, Rapunzel immediately slacks back into him, and calms.

"I kind of just always assumed we were going together. I was even planning on asking you this weekend."

That--she forgets how to breathe--is not something she knew. With the way he talks about Astrid, Rapunzel thought Hiccup was asking her. Half the school thought they were dating, and he'd take this opportunity to prove them wrong.

(And maybe, sometimes. Sometimes she thought that too, in the quiet comfortable moments, and only in the privacy of her own brain. She thought, maybe.)

There's a thousand things she can say, but doesn't. Because most of them don't actually have words, "What were you planning on doing?" She can feel her heartbeat in her fingertips.

"I was thinking on winning the high scores in Space Invaders and spelling it out." He says a little helplessly, shrugging like he hadn't put much thought into it. "Thought we could get ice cream and color coordinate."

It was such a Hiccup thing to do. It was such a painfully them thing to do, that Rapunzel has to fight off hysterical tears.

"Well don't let me stop you, Hiccster." She answers after a moment, snuggling into his side, as he smiles and resumes his book.

---

Rapunzel tunes out Toothless as he barks at their fireplace--his favorite thing to do (they have a working theory that he was a dragon in a previous life). Instead she concentrates on getting the daisies to sit right in Hiccup's hair.

He plays with the strings of his hoodie, conveniently on her body, as he mouths along to Clueless. It is just starting to get cold, and since they started middle school they've watched Clueless in the beginning of the the school year. Even after school stopped being a thing for them.

It's comfortable and quiet and Rapunzel lets her mind wonder. Somewhere between the Cher and Josh couch scene and her finally finishing the crown, Rapunzel has a realization.

"We're totally dating aren't we?"

Hiccup is pulled out of the movie, lifting his head from her lap, and watching with that calculating gaze of his. "Do you wanna stop?" It's asked as calmly as ever, but she hears the panic in his voice.

Urging his head back down, she settles her fingertips behind his ears, and smiles down at him. "And break up a ten year whirlwind romance? Are you kidding me?"

He smiles this brilliant, blinding smile and angles up to press his slightly chapped lips to hers, and something clicks into place. ______________

a very quick hiccunzel thing written in the wee hours of the morning, that’s actually just between this bigger project I’m steadily working on.  

(that’s right boys and girls. a very long hiccunzel thing that i don’t actually know if anyone is gonna read?? if you are could you maybe tell me?) 

[itshummelswitch]

KURTBASTIAN | Club.

WHEN: February 24th, 2020

WHERE: Squires, kink club.

WHO: Sebastian Smythe & Kurt Hummel | @markedswitchsmythe

EVENT: First Kurtbastian meeting. Flirting & dirty talk ensues.

Honestly Sebastian taken the more open minded approach to this place, if they were stuck here.  Why not at least embrace it for a little while? Besides, that blond kid Sam seemed to OK with being here long term, at least longer than the rest of had been here.   Sebastian leaned against the bar, the long dancers body arching out as he curled a hand around the cocktail and took a little sip of it.  It was easier than you thought getting into this place,  a simple line about some dominant inside he was meeting and just like that- he was in.  He'd even plucked up one of those green tags from the counter - all system go for any boys around who might take his fancy.   His shirt was already gone  to show off those slender but tone body- years of dancing finally coming in handy.   Sebastian's pants looked like they were painted on, the tight jeans showing off his ass in a specular way as he leaned over the edge of the bar,  hearing the thumbing music and a few more...interesting and bold couples getting together around the club. God, this place could be fun at times.

After what seemed ages, Kurt had allowed himself to actually get out and explore. During the appropriate times given to him, of course. Last thing he wanted was a big, burly guy to come in and drag him back home or anywhere else for that matter. He wasn't exactly the most fond of being touched without his consent, and this place still gave him an anxiety spike. Despite Riley and Sam's words of knowledge to ease some of that paranoia, he still wasn't too sure if he should believe what he saw. People in collars, and people without. Nudity blatant and out in the open with no regrets. This definitely was far out of his usual comfort zone bubble, and he wasn't sure if he was ever going to get used to it. Having been escorted inside the biggest club known as Squires by an unnamed Dominant, who had shown up like some guardian angel to help him be granted access, he found himself with a blue bracelet. Adding some color to the bland cuffs he was still stuck with. He did want to educate himself. There was no way he was going to be a stick-in-the-mud this entire time. If he was here, he might as well start learning sometime. His outfit consisting of red pants, that hugged his curves and highlighted every asset he had in this club lighting. The black button down with the long sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms was a nice and simple touch, contrasting his pale white skin and tone arms for the club-goers to admire as he passed them. Not knowing where to put himself, he finds himself at the bar, noting the temperature being thick and hot which already had his throat feeling dry. He wasn't much of an alcoholic drinker, as he knew he was a lightweight to begin with, and opted for a simple fruity drink to sip at as he settled against the edge of the bar counter, arms resting comfortably in a lounge-like position.

Sebastian's eyes ran along the club before moving back to the bar as he took a little sip of his drink.  It was easy to soak in the displays of flesh and some of the bolder public sex going on but his eyes were quickly drawn to something a little closer to home. Well, closer to the bar anyway.  And certainly something more covered up than some of the other boys around.  Still there was no denying that Sebastian felt the wind get knocked out of himself a little at the sight before him.  Honestly, it was like the other was some god damn forgotten god.  His head tilted as his eyes ran down that dark hair and the pretty, pale, almost porcelain skin.  Perfect red lips and really, his eyes drifted down to that perky ass showed off in the pair of tight red pants as he leaned over the bar. Sebastian sucked on the inside of his cheek as he pressed his lips together at the sight.  That ass alone could start the trojan war at least in Sebastian's eyes.  It's hard to miss that pretty blue colour of the others cuff, in contrast to his own green as he brushed past a few people to simply take the empty spot at Kurt's side. "I'd offer to buy you a drink but you've already got one. Sort of a waste of a good line, though." Sebastian teased as he shifted his arm against the bar and his body turned to look at the other.  The shirtless dancer giving his best thousand watt smile as he held out his hand.  "Sebastian Smythe.  How about I get your next one? Or like, some food sometime?" He added, his bright green eyes dancing into Kurt's.  God he hoped this came off as charming and not...well, creepy as hell.

Kurt could feel a few onlookers eyeing him. It wasn't like he hadn't been in a club before, as he and his ex visited a rather popular one in New York a few times. And it was always a little flattering. Knowing he had someone's attention on him out of interest. Even so, with the coveted moaning going on in the background, it was going to take a little more for him to feel comfortable in being eyed like a piece of meat on a stick. Baby steps. The voice cutting through his senses, he turns to face Sebastian. Feeling his cheeks warm at the charming almost pick-up line, he does offer a warm smile - flattery never being a subtle point for him. The name being the hitting point that for him to put two-and-two together in the end, as he shifts against the bar. "Oh! You're Sebastian?" He asks, his grin dialing up as his eyes move to soak this man in. Silently applauding the outfit choice, as he couldn't help but notice the lack of shirt with those hip hugging pants. This guy was hot. Confident too, if the green bracelet meant anything. Never a bad look in Kurt's eyes. "You look so much better in person then whatever my head made up when we were talking in the chat." Another quick sip of his drink, he shakes himself. "Kurt. Kurt Hummel. The guy who lost his cat?"

It's hard to miss the others slight blush and it's a good sign that he's at least making a positive impression.  There is a little arch of his eyebrow at the other saying his name but god, doesn't it feel like the sun is shining on him directly from Kurt's smile?  There was tilt of his head as he finally gets the others name.  "Ah. Kurt. Right.  Along your not at all hateful cat. " His voice was warm and teasing though,  a broad grin dancing along his lips as he could feel the others eyes on him - soaking in his near nudity.  At least the other liked what he saw. "You're aware a statement like that does rather make curious about what I looked like in that handsome head of yours while were talking." He teased as he sipped of his own drink before lowering it to the bar.  "Always good to put a name to the face though." He hummed, his hand reached out to tap the others blue cuff. " I see you've chosen to take the plunge when it comes to this place.  That's properly for the best considering god knows how long we'll be here for."   He pointed out with a little tilt of his head.

"I can assure you, my imagination couldn't cook up anything as good as you look." Kurt takes another sip of his drink, then sets the glass down, turning to face the bar for a better leaning pose. Maybe even taking advantage of Sebastian's eyes on him in the process. "And what about you? Am I a disappointment to what you may have thought I looked like?" Curiosity killed the cat as they say, and maybe it was a sort of fishing for a similar compliment, but he didn't care. Who could blame him. A friendly face and knowing someone here was setting his mind more at ease. Letting him relax. Perhaps even enjoy himself. More baby steps in the right direction. He can only smirk slightly at the pointing out of his blue bracelet. He didn't know what he was thinking when he chose it. It seemed like a good common middle ground? He didn't not want to interact, but he also didn't want to give anyone the idea that he was down for a sudden pull into an orgy of sorts. He wasn't that level of confidence. Not yet. "According to Sam and my brother, we probably will be here for a long while. They managed to do it - so might as well. Right?" He gives a nod towards the others green bracelet. "Has anyone taken advantage of you yet?" It sounded a little wrong coming out of his mouth, and he hoped it wouldn't get taken the wrong way. Even if Sebastian was half naked, and clearly down for anything.

"OOoh that's quite the compliment.  Careful you'll have me blushing." Sebastian added with a flash of that smile as he kept his eyes on the other, though he might have let them drift down the others body as he moved to soak in that gorgeous body again.  There's a gentle laugh at the others question but it's not cruel at all as a hand lifted to brush against his own jawline.  "God the last thing you are is a disappointment. You're...stunning, Kurt. " he pointed out with a wave of his hand.   "  I mean, could go on for hours but those eyes alone are super distracting and your ass is..." Sebastian added with a shake of his head as he trailed and he took another sip of his own drink to cover any more embracing compliments to flow out of his mouth. "I get the feeling Sam and your brother are right about that and..the place doesn't seem as terrible as it could be.  Certainly nothing all that shady about it. Yet anyway.  And hey, at least everyone here seems...cool right? They're gonna go at your speed Kurt. At least any kinkster worth his salt would. " Not like there was some weird SAW style killer around the island or anything. It just seemed to be...exactly as the man in the room he'd awoken up in said it would be.  "Why? You curious about taking advantage of me? " Sebastian teased at the question of his own colour as he shot a wink over at the shorter, pale boy across from him.  "Because trust me when I say I'd more than be OK with that." He added before he finally addressed the question with a little shake of his head.  "Not tonight but it's still early yet. I was more just getting use to the club and you know, exploring it. Taking in the sights."  Sebastian answered the others actual question with a simple one shouldered shrug.

"Would blushing be such a bad thing?" Kurt has to ask. He's already in the club. This guy was already half naked as it was. Blushing would seem to be lower on the expectancy scale of things someone in here would shoot for - and that was not intended for any pun making either. Something about the club air. Getting out of his house, and just experiencing people was a nice. And thankfully his current company was even nicer. It didn't hurt either that he was a good piece of eye candy. "Maybe," He comments about the two Dominant's who had been here longer, knowing a thing or two. "Riley has been known to be a bit of a know-it-all." Which was the truth of the matter. It's a miracle he doesn't choke on his drink as he tries to finish it right as the mention of being taken advantage of gets brought up. Teasing of course, but his cheeks tinge even hotter. Or was it the humid atmosphere? Hard to tell. "Well - I don't know about you. But I wouldn't mind exploring these sights a little better and take full advantage of your outfit - or lack thereof." Empty glass aside, he pushed away from the bar. The music was doings things to him, and he wanted to move to it.

"Maybe not a bad thing but certainly a rare thing for me which would make you...well, special." Sebastian countered with a little arch of his eyebrow as he took a little slip of his drink.  Not like Sebastian often was thrown off his game and hey,  causing such a reaction would be an achievement for him.   There was a little one shouldered shrug as he placed the glass back onto the other. "Is he? Can't say I've really got any decent read of your brother.  Other than he really does not like your cat."  Riley hadn't exactly been all that open as some of the other people around the island. There's a little lick of the switches lower lips as he watches the others reaction to his words. Oh, it was pretty glorious.  "Oh really now? Well, now, Minou, you can take advantage of me and this outfit however you want.." Sebastian was smart enough to get the others intention however and he pushed off the bar himself and made the rather bold move of just slipping his fingers into Kurt's and moving him towards the dance floor.  His fingers slotting into Kurt's almost perfectly as he pulled the boy into the mass of close dancers and let the music was over them both.

No one had grabbed his hand before out of the blue. Not since his ex - but even that had been short lived in its prime. It wasn't an unpleasant warmth spreading from his hand either throughout his entire body, that just further pumped him up to the music. Needing to move. Needing to do something with this man on the dance floor. Almost a perfect stranger, who Kurt was obviously feeling an attraction to. And the tighter his pants got, the more obvious that was. No shame, Hummel, if anything Sebastian came across as someone who would be smug and flaunt that knowledge. "So, have any saucy stories of your experience in the club life, le beau?" Kurt asks once they find an empty spot, giving his free hand a chance to hook a finger on a tempting belt loop, pulling the slightly taller man in closer to feel the heat radiating off each other.

Sebastian easily relished that closeness between himself and Kurt,  his trademark smirk dancing along his lips as the other tugged him forward by that belt loop.  His hand keeping locked with Kurt's as the other moved down the others slender hip with a tilt of his head.   There was a little dip of his eyes at the others rather...more evident crotch but he kept his comments to himself as he leaned forward to brush his lips near the others. "Oh- plenty.  Sometimes It was just good to blow off steam...work got too much and you just wanted...some release.." he teased, the words dancing over at the other like a spell. "What do you wanna hear about? Times I dominated sweet, cute things like yourself Hm? Had them moaning for Daddy?  Or times I just...gave up control?" He asked curious what the other might take.  God knows Sebastian was never one to skip some dirty talk or at least, some dirty talk story time.

Okay. Kurt was getting the appeal of being in a place like this. Being open, free, without any judgement passed. As some bodies in the room were even closer in contact than he was with Sebastian right now. And he could just about taste the other man's breath on the tip of his tongue. So warm and inviting, begging him to give something up. And he wanted to. It was a matter of knowing what that something was. Smirking in retaliation to the one opposite him, he doesn't shy away from the questions that intrigued him even more. Knowing that Sebastian had played both sides of the coin made more sense as to why he was a Switch - if only he could say the same. "I'm sure you could pick a favorite time for both." His fingers walking slowly from one loop to another. "Don't spare any details. Being stingy is for other nights."

Oh, he liked this side of Kurt, that mischivious light in his eyes and the way he leaned towards him, that ferity energy flicking back and forth between the two boys.  " Oh right then.." Sebastian tilted his bead back slightly as he gave a little hum, as if he was dwelling over the many times he'd indulged in a bit of kink to pick out the best ones. "Back home there was a club much like this one...And they had this big stage in the center.  And there was pretty shy boy I'd be courting all night.  He liked a strong hand and being put in his place.." Sebastian hummed, the story weaving over the other like a spell.  "The club was pretty full, it was a Friday night but the moment I dragged that boy up onto the stage.  Every single person's eyes were on us.  I pushed him to his knees.  Those pretty innocent eyes staring up at me as fucking hot as hell."  Sebastian continued.  " God, if I could tell how hot that sir that dropped from his lips were..well..you'd be just as taken with him as I was.  I slipped my cock out from my leather pants and...not to brag but hey, I'm impressive enough that the boy literally whimpered.." he hummed.  " I throat fucked the boy till tears came down his cheeks. Right there. It was like this...performance.   And addictive power rush..." Sebastian's eyes met the other.  "How's that?"

Truth be told, Kurt was taken aback that Sebastian actually had to think of a time. Were there really that many?  Being surprised shouldn't be a thing he figures, not with how good of a game Sebastian talks. He clearly had the experience under his belt to prove he knew what he was doing. In a way it made Kurt more at ease, hips pressed against one another in such close proximity. This was clearly a kink club, he was going to be in good hands if anything escalated past dancing. Brow lifted as the story unfolds, he can picture it clearly in his mind's eye. Blood traveling south of the equator would probably be noticeable more now in their shared space, but Kurt keeps dancing. Doesn't stop. Won't stop. "That is incredible, actually." The corner of his mouth quirks. "Especially considering you being so humble about bragging about how impressive you are." His tongue teasing at the corner of his own mouth. "The only juicy story I have is that my ex made me come at work, without even touching me since he was in a class at the time."

There was a little smirk as he felt something rather noticeable press into his hip from the other boy, it was nice to know that he'd done his job with that story.  Sebastian kept up the movements himself though, dancing along to the pounding beats, though there might have been a little more deliberate grinding once he felt such a...reaction.  "Oh yeah? Glad you liked it."  Sebastian replied as his eyes met the others as he bit his lower lip before he gave a shrug at those next words. "Oh so humble. Doesn't mean I was lying at allllllll."  He promised- more than away he was rather gifted in that regard.

Sebastian's head tilted at the others words with a little impressed hum. It was a pretty hot image. "And just pray tell, how did he make you do  that??  Come on, details Hummel. Fair trade and all that."  The taller point pointed out as his hands moved down to brush along Kurt's hips, a firm grip against them.

A soft laugh erupts from somewhere in the Switches chest, not knowing why he was so willing to share such an intimate story about his ex and the time he had made a mess out of himself at work. But he wanted to share it. What would Chandler care? The guy wasn't here. The guy was his ex. They weren't the most romantic love story to exist, so he didn't have anything to lose. Not when he was this close and being hyper aware of where he was being touched. "Well, it started off innocent enough. He was bored in class. I was doing the easy task of filing things." Kurt begins, rolling his hips at a particular good beat in the music playing overhead. "He mentioned how he could see some girls underwear from where he was sitting. And he stated he'd like to see me in something lacy and black. I humored him and said he was in luck because I had some in a secret drawer. He took the bait and asked where I got them, and why he never saw them before." Head tilting to the side, Kurt bring an arm up to wrap securely around Sebastian's neck, pulling their bodies even closer. "He then proceeded to want photos of me in those underwear. I said I was at work. He said that I should wear them to work the next day, and send him a photo. I asked why. He then said he likes the idea that I would wear those just for him, and how he'd come for me at my lunch break. Bend me over my bosses desk, and pull those lacy beauties aside, and..." He pauses, biting on his bottom lip as he tickles his fingers against the back of Sebastian's neck. "Are you sure you want to know the rest?"

Sebastian tilted his head as he soaked in that story but it certainly took a direction he wasn't expecting but god, if the image of Kurt in a pair of lace, black panties didn't get him hard as rock even right here in the rather public space of a dance club.  Granted the others grinding didn't help anything but he was pretty sure that Kurt could feel his reaction to the news that Kurt had a secret draw full of lacy underwear.  It was a little betrayal of his body for one of his most favorite kinks.  His head tilted back against the others arm but he kept that closeness, deliberately grinding his half-hard s and very prominent cock against the boy as he smirked at those next words.  "I can't say I blame him. I rather want a picture of you wearing a pair now..." Sebastian near groaned at that fun visual image of Kurt bent over a desk and being fucked while still wearing a pair of lace panties. "And fucked blind?" Sebastian finished, his eyes heated as his hand moved down Kurt's back as he gave a chuckle at those words. " Oh, I'm so very, very sure. I think I need to know the rest if anything. Don't leave a guy wanting like this." He shot back, his body rolling to the music again, pressing his hips against the others.   Sebastian's eyes meeting the others as he felt the rest of the dance floor - hell the entire sex club- fade away and it was like the two of them alone in the world. "Go one. He wanted to bend you over a desk and move those panties aside and fill you up to the brim..."