#sunwoo oneshot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sungbeam · 1 year ago

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nonidol!kim sunwoo x f!reader

you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's.

▷ genre, warnings. s2f2l, mutual pining/crushing, college au, fluff, minor angst, humor, comfort, swearing, i actually know very little about anything going on w their majors tbh LOL 💀, uhh sunwoo's a simp but wbk, the outline of sunwoo's abs but if u read too fast u will miss it, kissing, low-key miscommunication trope (im sorry i hate those too), rip sorry yangyang, uhm they're kinda cute i *guess* :/, if there r typos then whoops i don't like editing !!

▷ word count. 28.7k help TT

this is the fifth installment of the love in unity series! this fic can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to the main plotline and all other yns will be referred to as _!yn. ALSO, the second episode specifically has a direct reference to a scene from flight risk, but the rest of the fic won't need any other outside context!

a/n: for @justalildumpling and her chopsticks <3 i dragged myself out of writer's block, pls reblog :'))

EPISODE ONE (PILOT): RHAPSODY… LIKE THE BOHEMIAN ONE?

THERE was something about general education requirement courses that felt too much like a university scam. Why was it required to learn more about things that wouldn’t help one’s chosen career path in the long run? Sunwoo hadn't necessarily been thrilled when he wasn't able to get one of the lower level English classes to fill his requirement, but the 300-level literature class had so far turned out to be… actually interesting. Well, the literature itself was interesting enough. The professor?... Not so much.

There was one thing about this class that he could safely say kept him sane though. And it was more so a person than a thing.

The discussion classroom wasn't terribly full as he strolled through the door with his hoodie thrown over his dark brown curls and headphones, a pretty voice flowing through the ear pieces as he took his usual seat to the side of the room.

"...and we're back! Hope you all enjoyed this week's song recommendation. It's been a favorite of mine ever since my dad introduced it to me when I was a kid. An absolute road trip banger—"

Sunwoo's eyes flickered up to see that the TA for the discussion wasn't yet here, but he lowered the volume on his headset slightly in case.

"—kudos to all the songwriters out there. Writing relevant stuff that transcends time is hard, man. I can't even make meaningful conversation with my graduate student supervisor."

A small smile curled the corners of his lips upward. Just as he anticipated the segment on the host geeking out about her favorite oldies music picks, he heard instead—

"I can't even make meaningful conversation with my other grad student supervisors, you know?"

Wait a minute. Confusion flickered across Sunwoo's face as he checked and lifted one of his headphone ears. That can't be right…

Somebody sat down in the seat beside him, almost startling him because he had his back to the door. It was you, the pretty second-year who he had met on the first day of this discussion a few weeks ago. But he was peering at you now in a whole new light as a smile lingered on your face from your conversation with the class’s TA.

When you felt his eyes on you, you flashed him a bright grin. “Hey, Sunwoo.”

He cleared his throat, fumbling to turn his headphones off and follow your lead in taking out the materials needed for today’s discussion. “Oh, hey, Yn.” It occurred to him just how creepy he was probably being just then…just watching you. But the thoughts in his brain were flying around like mosquitoes around his head—had he been hearing things?

“What’d you think of the reading?” You asked him pleasantly.

The reading from the past week had been the first third of a novel called The Stranger, a version translated from its original written in French. Sunwoo sucked in a breath, grimacing, “It’s not my favorite,” he drawled. “I have no idea what the point of his character is, to be honest.”

You pursed your lips and nodded your head. “Yeah, he’s a little… flat,” you chuckled.

“Is this supposed to tie into the theory that professor was talking about last week?” He asked then, in an effort to actively shift his brain’s focus away from your awfully familiar voice and sayings, and to the present.

“Something about how he doesn’t fit societal standards. I think it’s existentialism and nihilism. Well, at least I think it is.”

Huh. Interesting. Sunwoo gave a little bob of his head, and this was just when the TA turned everyone’s attention to a class discussion about the novel. He definitely hadn’t thought of those terms specifically when reading, but at the same time, he did understand where you were getting that sentiment from. He just couldn’t articulate his view of literature quite as well as you could. That had made you somewhat intimidating to him in the beginning, besides your very cute smile, but he was hoping he could learn something from you nonetheless.

You weren’t even a literature major, he realized as he listened to you offer your thoughts to the group. It was cool, though—you were cool.

— ✶

The Songbird Station was a podcast, radio-esque show that Sunwoo had discovered over summer break, a few weeks ago. The podcast was hosted by an anonymous host who dubbed herself “DJ Dove.” She definitely didn’t mind talking about a few of her personal life experiences; it was easy to simply bar the names and identities. Sunwoo had binged all two seasons so far of the podcast, happily tuning in as a silent listener and admirer of hers for awhile, and he had always wondered where she went to school or who she was, but it hadn’t invaded his thoughts like this before.

Sunwoo laid in his bed the day after the literature discussion, his hands resting on his stomach and his expression turned up toward the violet-red LED-lit ceiling of his room. His phone sat on the edge of his nightstand as it played a playlist of songs that Dove had recommended to her listeners—or well, he wondered if he could safely assume that what he heard yesterday was correct, and that you were DJ Dove.

It would make sense, he thought. You were a sound and music production major, had great taste in music (from the brief conversations you struck up with him while in class), and you literally said the exact same thing that Dove had said over the podcast. It couldn’t have just been a coincidence. And now that he thought about it, your voice really did sound a lot like DJ Dove’s. There was a sort of friendly warmth to both of your voices, and—and—

Knock, knock— “Aye, Sunwoo! I'm going to Juyeon's place now. Are you sure you don't wanna come with?"

Oh, right. He had nearly forgotten that Eric had planned to head over to their new mutual friend's apartment tonight to watch a sports game. Juyeon was a friend of a friend of a friend—the connections ran long in their friend circle, he supposed. Sunwoo stole a peak at his phone screen for the time and his joints ached at the sight of 8:53 on the face. His face screwed up as he replied to his friend and roommate, “Nah, I think I'm still just gonna chill here tonight.”

He grabbed his phone fully off the nightstand this time and turned onto his side.

“Oh, okay. Don't burn the apartment down and don't steal my ramen!”

Sunwoo squished his face down into his pillow, raising his voice slightly since his words would probably be muffled, "I'm not going to steal your ramen!" This guy.

He heard Eric grumble something under his breath from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of footsteps moving farther away from his room. When he heard the front door close, he let out a breath and turned back to his phone. To his surprise, he had managed to absentmindedly navigate away from the playlist screen and to the Songbird Station homepage, filled with a collection of all of your links. One of these links was for listeners to submit song recommendations or ask questions, and most of the time, they were all anonymous with their own little nicknames.

He had never fully considered doing it… but that didn’t mean he hadn’t ever partially thought about it. He definitely imagined becoming one of Dove’s more frequent anonymous submitters and becoming friends with her—on a level that one could consider oneself friends between two anonymous users, at least.

But up until now, he hadn’t thought that he could do it. Well, because Dove was Dove; he was one of hundreds of listeners.

“But she’s Yn,” he thought aloud to himself, turning back onto his back to speak to the ceiling, as if the layer of plaster above his head could possibly give him a viable answer. “There’s probably a reason she doesn’t use her actual name,” he pondered further, expression contorted into deep contemplation. “This feels wrong!” He groaned.

There was at least one person he could count on to deal with his bullshit.

sunwoo’s phone: yes or no

tree rat: no

“Well, screw you, too,” Sunwoo huffed as he swiped out of his and Changmin’s text chain. Out of all the times Changmin said “no” randomly, it had to be this time.

It didn’t matter much anyway though. Sunwoo went back to the links page and clicked on the anonymous submissions. He was met with a customized greeting page from the hostess herself, as she thanked her listeners and asked what they’d like to contribute to the show.

Sunwoo moved to sit up against his headboard as he racked his brain for something to say. He had tons to say, but the first message had to be perfect, right?

“It’s fine,” he said out loud, thumbs flying over the keyboard to type out the first thing that came to mind. After all, it was completely anonymous, so it wasn’t like she would—or you would—even know it was him.

He probably read over his little paragraph about a hundred times before attempting to figure out an anonymous name to sign off with. He hugged his knee to his chest when he couldn’t come up with something cool, charming, or unique. Maybe he would stay completely unknown for now. Maybe he wouldn’t even have the courage to submit another message after this one anyway!—

"Rhapsody," he said aloud. Rhapsody was a cool word. Rhapsody anon? Was that who he would sign as?

He did the most logical course of action: look up the word. He asked the internet for its most basic definition, then somehow ended up in the rabbit hole of etymology of the word rhapsody. It described one who stitched verses or songs together—something of the sort. It sounded cool, at least.

It would have to do… and even if you—or DJ Dove—thought it was stupid, no one would know it was him.

Before he could psych himself out of it, Sunwoo pushed the submit button and launched his phone away from him onto the bed like it was explosive. There was something thrilling about anonymous submissions, but incredibly anxiety-inducing, as well. He could only hope that you would be pleased to read it.

— ✶

It was Wednesday when the next episode of the podcast dropped, and Sunwoo was swift to don his headphones on his way out the door of the apartment. The walk to campus was a good fifteen or so minutes, which would get him about a quarter of the way through the episode, but usually the line in the campus cafe was long, so he had plenty of time to listen.

“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and today, I went to my Groupon singing lesson and realized that I think my teacher is having an affair with her neighbor…?”

Sunwoo let out a snortish laugh, covering his mouth with his hoodie sleeve in slight embarrassment as he passed by somebody else going in the opposite direction. Usually, there would be anonymous submissions sprinkled throughout the episode, most of them having to be diverted to later episodes because they were song recommendations. Sunwoo wasn’t super optimistic about his chances of being featured in this episode, but a guy could dream, couldn’t he?

The sky was a pleasant shade of crystalline blue, even as the seasons shifted from summer to fall. There was a slight breeze wafting through the air that brought in the telltale autumnal chill.

"...and luckily the rest was history. My voice was completely dead and my throat is still a little sore, haha, so we'll do a couple more anonymous submissions and recommendations today! This is supposedly a radio show-esque podcast, after all. This one's from a new friend—Rhapsody Anon!"

Sunwoo nearly tripped over the flat sidewalk and sent a nervous smile to the other person waiting at the stoplight with him. Did you just say what he thought you said?

There came a soft laugh from you. "Ooh, like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? Such a classic, by the way. Rhapsody says: Hi Dove! Hoping you're doing alright and that songwriting is going well. I'm a relatively new listener but a fan from first listen—awh, wait… that's kind of like love at first sight but for the voice version, isn't it?"

He reddened. The crosswalk turned green.

"Anyways, that's really sweet; thanks so much—there's a bit more of the message that I'll post on my story later so we can save time, but Rhapsody, thank you for tuning in and interacting with me. Your message sounded so heartfelt to me? I dunno," you chuckled and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice, "maybe I'm a little biased 'cause I love your song rec, too. Speaking of which, Rhapsody recommends Painkiller by Ruel! An immaculate choice, if I do say so myself…"

Sunwoo couldn't help but smile to himself at your warm reception of his anonymous submission. He wished he could have gotten your full reaction to his entire message, but he understood that you needed to account for all the other things you had planned.

Even so, an acknowledgement from you would have been enough. He hadn't thought it was possible, but he thought he just became even more attached to this DJ Dove persona.

EPISODE TWO: I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.

three months later.

THE curtains in Sunwoo's room were yanked open, the sound of metal rings against the metal bar scratched at his eardrums and made him grimace. It definitely did not help the pounding in his cranium, and—wait, was he in jeans? There was a disgusting after taste in his mouth, something akin to alcohol, and when he lifted his hand to rub his eyes, he felt dried tear tracks on his skin.

Eric stood at the foot of his bed with a scowl and his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm mad at you."

Sunwoo smooshed his face into his pillow in a sorry attempt to hide his eyes from the blinding overcast sky outside. "What's new?" He babbled incoherently.

It seemed his friend and roommate was not pleased with his answer and moved to tower over Sunwoo right beside him. "You couldn't have waited ten minutes before barging in? I was so close to kissing her!"

"Huh? What the hell are you…" Sunwoo's voice trailed off as the events of last night were slowly coming back to him.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Ugh. He remembered making plans to go to some singles party with Changmin and Chanhee, and that Eric was bringing EC!Yn over to woo her or something… yeah, he got all that. So why did Sunwoo drink so much and why couldn't he…

The notification… the tweet…

Oh no.

The emotions from last night came rushing back to him like the tide to shore. Horror contorted his face as his brain raced to string pieces of last night together. He released a groan as he brought both hands up to his face. "Oh my god," he muttered into his palms.

The distinct feeling of devastation and disappointment sank into his gut. No wonder he had thrown all caution to the wind last night and gotten himself drunk off his face.

"How bad?" He asked.

Eric still had his arms crossed. "You cried on EC!Yn like a whale and asked why women were perfect and why you couldn't have this one girl." By the drone of Eric's voice, he hadn't been pleased or amused by last night's events. Whoops.

"I'm—"

"You are going to be forever alone, by the way."

Sunwoo dropped his hands from his face and leveled a scowl up at Eric. Now, that he remembered saying, too. Unfortunately. "Hey! I'm still tender from last night."

Eric's smile was sarcastic and he said nothing as he made his exit from Sunwoo's room and left the hungover man to fend for himself. Left to his own devices, Sunwoo pushed out a harsh exhale as he stared up at the ceiling.

He remembered receiving the notification from the Songbird Station Twitter account and excusing himself to go to the bathroom to hear your voice memo. And when he'd finally found an empty bathroom and played it back, he learned a devastating piece of information.

Guys, I went on a date… updates in the next episode. That was what you had said, essentially—you, Yn Ln, the girl Sunwoo had met in his literature course last quarter and whom he had figured out was the anonymous host of the podcast Songbird Station under the pseudonym DJ Dove.

And he had gotten drunk over the fact that you'd gone out on a date, and said date hadn't been him.

"Dude," he said out loud to himself.

He couldn't believe he had gotten so off his rocker by this news. It wasn't like he knew you or liked you or—well, maybe he had grown an affection for you over the span of time he listened to your podcast and interacted with you via his own pseudonym, Rhapsody Anonymous.

But he was just another fan to you, and you would never know his identity.

A guy could dream though, right?

A thought suddenly occurred to him as he rolled over to go through the copious amounts of notifications on his phone he had. There were lots of messages in his group chat with Chanhee and Changmin that he would deal with later, lots of social media notifications, emails, and…

Wednesday. Today was Wednesday.

Sunwoo cursed. You were definitely uploading the episode today then.

He bit his lip as he sorted through the notifications to find one about the podcast. Sure enough, there it was: I Went On A Date? was the title, and he pretended like that didn't make him want to play Lany's Valentine's Day on loop—

The bedroom door opened and Eric poked his head into the room. "I made hangover soup."

Sunwoo blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks, man."

"Yeah, don't mention it," Eric mumbled, shifting on his feet. "Seriously, don't mention it."

— ✶

For the next couple of days, Sunwoo left the notification at the top of his phone, pretending like it wasn’t there. It had worked for about five minutes, but the remainder of time he was stubborn, he allowed his imagination to get the better of him. Although he no longer needed to take a literature course, he found himself deeply considering the vague title you had provided. Well, what could you mean by that question mark at the end? Had it not gone well? There was no way it could have, since your tone didn’t really scream “OH MY GOD I WENT ON A DATE!!!” (not that Sunwoo had imagined what he would have acted like post-date with someone like you or anything…). He didn’t even know who you had gone on a date with, and that made his stomach churn.

The curiosity devoured him alive over the two days he managed to torture himself with his overthinking. No one knew he listened to the Songbird Station podcast, and he planned to keep it that way. It would be the absolute death of him if any of his friends found out.

By Saturday morning, Sunwoo had had enough of his own stubbornness and caved. He donned his headphones, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to do some work in a cafe located on the Ave. There was one that his friend Jacob had recommended to the group awhile back, and Sunwoo hadn’t looked back since.

As he tuned into the episode, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shivering against the cold, winter winds. February weather was a doozy, and a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate sounded so very sexy right this moment.

“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and you’re probably wondering what the title of this episode even means, or why I sent that weird, cryptic voice message the other night.”

The traffic light turned green, and Sunwoo began to cross the road, the coffee shop in sight. His hands were beginning to get clammy in his pockets.

“Don’t riot, but friends, it means exactly what it says—” As you exhaled out a breathy kind of laugh, Sunwoo inhaled sharply.

“Helpful,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed into the warmth of the coffee shop. He shook the cold out of his body before hopping into the line to order.

“ —I did actually land myself a date yesterday. Honestly, I’m not really much of a dater; I never really had time with it over the past years because I would, uh… well, I would rather stay in and do music, y’know?”

The corners of Sunwoo’s lips curled up into a smile. Maybe he had been nervous before about this episode’s topic of choice, but he should have had more faith in you. Rather than speak about the date the entire episode, you always managed to worm in a discussion about your passions, and that was the kind of talk that had first gotten Sunwoo hooked. There was something so attractive about hearing or witnessing a person gush about their passions and ambitions—the way their eyes lit up, their posture righted itself, how they smiled so big that one could hear it in their tone of voice.

He was happy that you went out on a date, because you deserved to meet someone who treated you as special as you were. You were a good person, and it wasn’t fair that he was being so salty about it, especially when he was too chicken to—

��Sunwoo?”

His soul practically fell out of his body. “Shit—” He swore, yanking his headphones down with eyes as wide as the earphones. He whirled around to greet you with a flushed face, red like the old Christmas decorations still hanging up from the crown moldings.

You were standing right behind him with a mildly amused look on your face, your lips pressed into a smile and eyes crinkled in absolute delight. You were similarly bundled up like he was to no doubt shield you from the cold on your way here. “Sorry I scared you! I probably should have, like, tapped your shoulder or something, huh?”

Sunwoo let out a nervous laugh and cupped the back of his neck, the skin there warm to the touch. “Oh, uh, no problem at all. I just kinda…”

“Get scared easy?” You offered.

He huffed with a sheepish sort of smile. “No, no that’s not it. I—I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.” Inwardly, he winced. The fact that he was listening to your voice in his ears, and you just happened to say his name at the same time and appear in the same exact coffee shop as him. Weren’t there fifteen of these places on the block? There was no way you just happened to choose this one at this moment.

You chuckled, playing along. “Ah, I see, I see. We haven’t seen each other since fall quarter though. How have you been?”

You and Sunwoo inched up with the line, so the two of you now stood side by side. Sunwoo was trying everything he could to calm the racing of his heart. Play it cool, dude. “I’ve been okay…ish,” he grimaced, re-thinking his answer. “You know winter quarter is always the worst.”

“For sure,” you replied. “It’s so cold and dreary—nobody wants to leave their apartments, especially me,” you joked.

Sunwoo was about to chime in on how he could totally relate to that, when you popped the question: “And then there’s Valentine’s Day. Crazy how it never seems to rain on Valentine’s Day, though, so people can go out. Did you do anything for it?”

Sirens commenced their screeching in his head. WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO! Don’t let her know how much of a loser you were! He coughed, reaching up to scratch his head. “Uh, nothing special in particular, if that’s what you mean. A couple of my friends and I just went to this singles party.” Would that give you the wrong idea? Probably not, right? Why was he so bad at this, he thought, wasn’t he supposed to be a communications major?

You inched up in line. “Oh, that’s cool. I think I went to one in freshman year at my old uni,” you said.

Before he could stop himself, he said, “I almost forgot you transferred this year.” He knew that one from the podcast when you talked about the struggles of being a transfer student and having to almost “redo” your entire first year experience, social-wise. But you had also told him that when you and he had worked together in your shared class last quarter; it was just that the two of you didn’t really talk much about your old university much after that.

“It’s okay,” you smiled, nudging his arm with yours as a gesture for him to order first. “Not many people remember.”

Sunwoo wanted to protest, maybe to reassure you that it wasn’t that easy to forget something like that, but he was forced to switch gears and order his hot beverage first before he could say anything else to you. After he said goodbye to five more dollars, he stepped aside and made his way over to the pick-up counter to wait for you and his drink.

When you were done, you sidled up beside him, hands tucked into the folds of your coat.

Come on, say something, his inner voice chided. “So, uh, how was your Valentine’s Day?”

He immediately regretted it. Out of everything he could have asked, he had to go with the one topic he really didn’t want to hear about. However, it had been one of the logical progressions of the conversation, and who knew? Perhaps it wouldn’t lead to him feeling like he’d been shot down with lightning? (Was he being a little dramatic? Yes. Did it matter? Not when no one was going to hear him, no.)

You let out a small laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “It was okay,” you replied.

It was… it was okay? What was he supposed to do with that answer—

“I mean,” you continued with a smile that looked more like a grimace, “it was—fine! It was fine. Uhm…”

Sunwoo’s thoughts came to a slow, teetering stop. Worry began seeping into the cracks of his brain as new scenarios formed. “Hey, if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then we don’t have to talk about it.” All of the nerves and envy from before was becoming something softer in concern for your response.

“No! No, it’s okay. I promise,” you reassured him. The look you gave him was earnest, and he felt the fist tucked into his pocket gradually relax a bit. “It’s just weird putting it into words, y’know? I kind of chickened out of talking to my friends about it, and even to—” You stopped yourself short, and he could see you backpedaling in your brain. “Anyways, it just felt weird? I think it would have been a really nice night if I actually saw him in that light. But at the same time, I kind of want to try and give it a chance. Does that make sense?”

He nodded, tension falling out of his shoulders. “It does. I mean, sometimes there’s just no spark, y’know?” He added. “I was just worried he did something to make you uncomfortable or something.”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. You don’t have to worry.”

“Okay, that’s good,” he murmured, licking his lips. “I’m just curious—” he piped up, “—and you don’t have to tell me, but who did you go out with?”

One of the baristas from behind the counter called your names, and the two of you both stepped forward. Sunwoo took a long stride to get there before you, and handed you your cup for you.

You murmured a “thanks” to him first before stirring in a packet of sugar. “Liu Yangyang. Do you know him?”

Did he? Yangyang was one of the people Sunwoo recognized from not only around campus, but as a person who made music online, too. Even if Yangyang was in the same year as him, Sunwoo always admired the man’s flow and way with words. It made so much sense that Yangyang would pursue you, someone equally talented and charismatic, especially if the two of you were the same major.

A tightening sensation creeped into Sunwoo’s chest as he marinated on the revelation further. If you couldn’t see someone like Yangyang in a romantic light, then where did that put himself?

As Sunwoo let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him, you finished preparing your coffee.

“I’ve gotta run now,” you told him with a soft-cornered grin. “It was nice seeing you, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo managed a smile back at you, head bobbing in some semblance of a nod, before you were exiting the shop. He stood there for a moment to gather his wits, his thoughts, and his dignity.

“Did that really just happen?” He muttered to himself. He took his coffee with him to find an empty table and retrieved his study materials from his bag. Technically, he didn’t even have to listen to the rest of the podcast, but… who was he kidding?

EPISODE THREE: HEART TO HEART

“YOU’RE coming with me to the practice rooms, right?” Ji Changmin trailed behind Sunwoo as the two of them shouldered into Sunwoo and Eric's shared apartment with their bags and leftovers from today's lunch. It had been about a week and a half since he had bumped into you at that café and he had been feeling over the interaction since.

Sunwoo popped open the refrigerator while his friend perched on one of the breakfast bar stools, his duffle bag dumped at his feet. "Uh, yeah. 'Course, hyung," he said, shifting some groceries from JC!Yn around to make space for his white plastic container.

A thought occurred to him, and he groaned. "But you're gonna have to go first—without me," he clarified. He grabbed the carton of orange juice out to pour himself a glass, facing his friend's curious look.

Changmin's brows furrowed. "Wait, why not?"

It was a reasonable question, as it went against Sunwoo's normal pattern of behavior. Usually, Sunwoo would tag along with Changmin to the practice rooms at the back of the performing arts building. Changmin was a dance major, and with the highly anticipated winter dance showcase just around the corner, it was important that he got that practice in. Plus, with Eric out of town for an away game, Sunwoo was left alone in the apartment, which wasn't exactly his favorite thing. He would much rather go out and be around other people… unless there was something else occupying him.

Today, that certain occupation came in the form of your first live podcast session, something you were trying out. It was just going to be a live audio stream, so you could stay anonymous with your pseudonym, and answer people's submissions live. You had been advertising it for the past week, having excluded the weekly podcast in order to prepare for today.

Sunwoo was excited as you were and wanted to support you and be one of the people tuning in live. This was important to him, and he had even gone so far as to plan out his day.

"I just have something I need to turn in before the day ends," he said easily, shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug. He lifted the glass of orange juice to his mouth for a languid gulp.

Changmin made a teasing noise of disappointment. "Aye, you know if Chanhee were here he'd be on your ass, right?" He chuckled, the dimple of his smile pressing into his cheek.

Sunwoo pouted when he lowered the glass. "If Chanhee or JC!Yn were here, I wouldn't have admitted to procrastination. I have self-preservation skills."

"And you don't think I'd be on your ass?" Changmin gasped dramatically with a hand pressed to his chest.

With tongue in cheek, Sunwoo grinned amusedly. He shook his head, adjusting the hood pulled over him. "Hyung, you can't ding me for procrastination when you procrastinate religiously. Remember that one time you had to beg Professor Ka—"

"Yah! Nobody asked for specifics!"

Sunwoo's chuckle turned into nervous laughter as Changmin reached across the island with a claw-shaped hand. "Ah! No! You stay away—go practice!"

Changmin snickered. "Chicken."

Soon after, Changmin indeed took his leave to head over to the performing arts hall. Sunwoo drained the juice in his cup and refilled it before making a beeline for his bedroom.

The livestream was projected to last for an hour, about the length of a usual episode, but you did say the timing wasn't set in stone. Sunwoo set himself up at his desk, signing into the platform you always used. Over the past couple of months he was Rhapsody, he'd become one of your regulars, suggesting new and old songs from his music library, talking about his day or week or something the last podcast had reminded him of. He liked to think that the two of you were friends—parasocially.

A guy could dream, right?

He was on his phone when the waiting room faded and became a split screen: one half with a sketched sign that read "ON AIR: COMING TO YOU LIVE!" with a little dove in headphones, and the other half was a live chat feed that people who were tuned in could use. There was both a public and private feature, and Sunwoo kept his on the public chat, unafraid of what a bunch of other people behind anonymous names and screens could do to scare him.

"Oh! Woah, I think that worked," came your voice, loud and clear, through his laptop speakers.

He smiled to himself, reaching over to settle his fingers on his keyboard. A tingling feeling bubbled up inside him, starting from his toes and rocketing up through his chest. He could actually talk to you in real time today.

You clapped lightly on the other side, relief pouring through your voice. "Thank god. I'm supposed to be good with some computer programs, but this livestream feature is kind of new. How're we doing, everyone? It seems…" A couple clicks from your end, "... We've got some more people rolling in. I'll give it a couple minutes, but let me know who we've got here today! It's so cool seeing you guys live!"

Sunwoo was swift to type out a greeting message: Dovey hi!! He paired it with a little, hand-waving emoji.

The small gasp of delight from you had him giggling to himself. "Oh my god, Rhapsody! Hi, best friend, welcome in! We might actually be able to hold a conversation for once," you chuckled.

rhapsody anonymous: yeah fs haha

rhapsody anonymous: did u have a good week? it felt weird without an ep from u 🤧

"Oh! Yeah, haha, sorry about that—”

He rushed to type as you continued with answering his question: No no! Don’t worry, I don’t blame you or anything lol it’s just something I look forward to every week.

“...Ah,” you said after skimming over his message. “Understood—and aw, I’m glad it’s something you look forward to every week. That makes me really happy to hear… oh! It looks like the numbers are becoming a little stagnant, so I’m gonna get started. Hi, everyone! Welcome to the live edition of Songbird Station. I’m your host…”

— ✶

An hour later, Sunwoo ended up seated at the kitchen counter, drinking orange juice straight out of the nearly-depleted carton, while the livestream continued on. The whole experience had been one of a kind, and by the way you were able to seamlessly speak and engage with your audience for the entire time made Sunwoo feel warm and fuzzy. He was glad this was working out for you.

There was a gradual lull in conversation, however, and you were just wrapping up your last topic to bring your first livestream to an organic stop.

“...wanna thank you all for being here, of course. 57 people listening to my voice for over an hour is kind of crazy, but this was a lot of fun!...”

Sunwoo was just about to start typing up a message to you when his phone buzzed on the counter beside his laptop. He startled, fumbling with the device and grumbling under his breath until he saw who it was and picked up the call.

“Hyung?” He squeezed the phone between his ear and shoulder, attempting to finish his private message to you. I was wondering if I could…|

Changmin’s voice came out breathy and panting like he had just finished a run-through. “Hey, are you done with your assignment yet?”

I was wondering if I could hang back for…| “Huh?” Why couldn’t he multitask, for god’s sake? I was wondering if I could hang back for a minute? If it’s weird though, then it’s no problem…|

No, that wasn’t weird, right? Totally not. He pressed the 'enter' key, satisfied with the message.

“What were you saying?” Sunwoo asked and picked up the phone with his hand. His eyes flickered back to his laptop screen to find that you had sent him a private message back.

Changmin let out a grumbling sigh. “I was just thinking—”

“Uh oh,” Sunwoo joked.

He could hear his friend’s eye roll from here. “When you get here Kim Sunwoo…”

“Okay, okay, okay!” He chuckled as he read your message and silently punched the air in celebration. “What do you want? I was in the middle of something.”

“Rude! And I was calling you because I was thinking about you,” Changmin huffed. “Anyway, I was just going over some of the movement for Juyeon and my ‘Light a Flame’ duet, right? And I came up with this combo that would be perfect for three people—”

Sunwoo sucked in a breath. “Oh, nonono!”

“But!”

“No!” Sunwoo protested. “Hyung, you know that I don’t… y’know, I can’t dance up there with you and Juyeon hyung! That’s way too much pressure; you’re both so good at dance.” He pressed his finger against the edge of the counter and began mindlessly dragging it along the surface. There had originally been plans of Sunwoo joining Changmin and Juyeon’s dance partnership for this year’s winter showcase performance, but Sunwoo backed out. The winter showcase was far too large of an event for Sunwoo could even fathom participating in, let alone dancing with two of the best dancers he knew. There was just no way.

Changmin sighed from the other end. He’d heard this argument before and he’d argued against this argument plenty of times. “Okay, fine. See you in how long?”

Sunwoo placed his phone onto the counter again so he could tell you that he was still here and hadn’t just left you hanging. “Uh, give me like, thirty minutes.”

“Alright. I better see your ass here in thirty minutes, Sunwoo.”

“Yeah, I know. See ya, hyung.” He hung up then, shoulders sagging slightly from the conversation. It wasn’t like he had to participate in the winter showcase—he was no dance major, nor was he a dance minor. He technically hadn’t even decided on a minor, and had only been focusing on getting this degree finished. Whether or not he had chosen a minor yet was not his parents’ favorite discussion when they visited him, but… it would get done when he had the energy to. He didn’t want to bring up the idea of a dance minor—he saw what it did to Changmin and his parents’ relationship and—well, it was just better this way, for now.

Having finished with his phone call, Sunwoo returned his focus to you, where, god bless, you were still waiting for him in the livestream room.

rhapsody anonymous: omg i’m SO sorry!! >< a friend of mine just called and turns out i am awful at multitasking

“No worries,” you laughed. “I figured that was the case. Everything okay, Rhaps?”

The corners of his mouth curled up at the thoughtful ask. Even when the two of you had been classmates, you were new to the school, but still made him feel like the two of you had known each other for longer than simply a few weeks. It only made sense that you were the host of this podcast, the very thing that had been his source of comfort as of late.

rhapsody anon: yeah nothing really serious lol

rhapsody anon: i just have this friend who’s doing the winter showcase and i was supposed to go to the practice room with him

rhapsody anon: actually, i was going to dance and perform w him too but ig i kind of chickened out

He didn’t know why he was telling you all of this; this wasn’t even what he originally intended to talk to you about.

He heard you make a soft sound of understanding. You shifted in your seat. “I see… the winter showcase is a big event though, as I’ve heard from peers and friends. It's probably really intimidating to even perform in the pre-show, you know? Are you a dance student, by chance?”

rhapsody anon: i’m not, but i’ve taken the intro to hiphop course my freshman year and i usually dance for fun w my friend

rhapsody anon: i think i’ve just always been kind of insecure in my abilities to keep up w him?

“Is he a dance major?”

rhapsody anon: he is

Sunwoo leaned back from the laptop and took his hands off the keyboard. He settled his chin onto his folded arms as he listened to your reply.

“Well, I don’t think you should compare yourself to a dance major, right, Rhaps? I mean, it’s not fair to expect more from yourself when he’s clearly had more experience. And if you enjoy dancing, then I don’t see what the harm in trying to perform or even just being satisfied with private practice sessions is!” You paused for a second to gather your thoughts. “What I’m saying is… is that, I can understand where you might feel insecure, and that’s normal, y’know? And if you’re feeling a little unprepared for this year, there’s always future opportunities.”

Sunwoo peered up at his screen as if he could see you on the other side, speaking to him. He sat up to type out a response. Thanks for hearing me out, it’s nice to feel validated. Sorry this kind of took a downer tone haha it wasn’t my intention, I swear!

You giggled and he swore he was smiling a little too wide now. “No worries, really! I’m glad I could be of help, even if it’s to make sure that you know your feelings are valid. If I’m being honest, one of the few reasons why I even started this podcast thing was to kind of just put my experiences out there in search of validity.” You sighed, “I dunno. It’s a story for another time. I am curious, though, as to why you originally wanted to hang out with me after the others left.”

Oh, right. Sunwoo bit his lip.

rhapsody anonymous: this isn’t really a song rec, but ig it kind of is… i feel like superstar by taylor swift reminds me of u

He held his breath after he pressed the ‘enter’ key.

“Oh…” your voice was soft in surprise, and it made something like giddiness spike in his chest. “That’s really sweet, Rhaps. I… I’m not sure what to say, but thank you. Genuinely.”

rhapsody anonymous: u don’t have to say anything!! really haha ur work and ur words have touched a lot of people

“Even you?”

rhapsody anonymous: esp me

And even after you and he had said goodbye to one another and logged off; even after he was well out of the apartment and on his way to campus, that giddy feeling in his chest still hadn’t left him.

EPISODE FOUR: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! [AND WE’RE ALL IN PAIN]

DEAD week was not typically something Sunwoo had to worry about, as fortunate as that sounded. There were, obviously, classes that made his stomach queasy and made him feel like the world was crumbling into Hot Cheeto dust, but his classes this quarter had been merciful to say the least. The week before finals week was always something that could be visibly observed on campus: students either manifesting like zombies or zooming around to claim seats in the library; grades rising and falling like the housing market; and snacks and coffee being more commonly consumed than any other moment of the quarter.

It was always a hot pile of shit, no matter the student or major.

“Someone just needs to tell Ouyang to chill!”

“Uh-huh.”

“For sure.”

“—it’s not like we’re the root of all of his problems! I’m just trying to graduate!” Eric halted in the middle of the hallway, causing Sunwoo, whose face was nose-deep in his phone screen, to ram into the baseball player’s back.

“Ow!” He hissed, furiously rubbing the place at his forehead that had collided with the nape of Eric’s neck.

“You’re not paying attention,” said Eric, flatly. He turned to Jacob, who also wasn’t paying attention. “Hyung!”

Jacob’s head lifted from where he was busy smiling down at some orange cat video. “What? Nacho’s learning the periodic table—” He flipped his phone around to show Eric, his face immediately lighting up as he forgot about why he was even mad in the first place.

The three of them were currently in the front half of the performing arts building, heading inwards from the main hall to the backstage area where a couple of their friends were already hanging out. Sunwoo had bumped into Jacob and Eric on his way from one of the campus libraries, and with nothing else better to do (than to study), he tagged along to go find someone to bother. (Jacob and Eric were both STEM majors though, which was weird to Sunwoo since… well, shouldn’t they be bunkered up somewhere trying to survive this quarter’s dead week? Anyways…)

Sunwoo sighed and brushed past his two friends to venture deeper into the building. He could already hear somebody’s music blasting from the sound booth as they rehearsed onstage. Over the past several weeks, everyone had been busy preparing for the winter showcase happening at the end of finals week, right before spring break. Ever since Sunwoo’s talk with you over livestream, he had felt a little better about not joining Changmin and Juyeon on stage this year. Plus, from what he could tell when he watched them practice, they already looked pretty much perfect with just the two of them.

Though, there would always be a part of him that wished he really had the courage to go up there and show the audience what he was made of.

Sunwoo wandered into the main auditorium with his hands tucked into his pockets and the doors closing softly behind him. There was indeed a group practicing their number on the stage at the moment. He could even make out the shapes moving from behind the curtains in the wings as other tech members and dancers rushed to and fro to get to where they needed to. Somewhere in that mass of chaos were his friends.

A familiar voice had him lifting his head toward the sound booth. His eyes widened when he recognized you standing in the booth with Bang Chan, one of the more prominent sound and lighting directors working here at the performing arts center. However, it looked like you were leaving, your hands clumsily wrestling with the zipper on your bag while you continued your conversation with Chan, and while attempting to walk backwards out of the sound booth.

Oh my god, you were going to trip on something if he didn’t help—

Both Sunwoo and Chan pounced toward you as the thought occurred to both of them at the same time.

“Yn, careful!” Sunwoo yelled, as he dove for your phone.

Chan steadied you at the bicep, and you hugged your bag to your chest with a flustered grin. “Oops?”

Chan ruffled your hair as he let you go, nodding his hello to Sunwoo, then ducking back into the booth. You stepped out into the main room and shut the door behind you. “Thanks,” you said to him sheepishly, accepting your phone from him.

The two of you naturally fell into step with one another and Sunwoo let you lead him back out towards the main entrance again. “I didn’t know you worked behind the scenes here,” he told you, cupping the back of his head. If he racked his brain, he couldn’t recall hearing about it from your podcast either. “This is the second time I’ve seen you here,” he chuckled.

You stopped for a minute in the middle of the hallway to get a hold of your things. You had to hike your knee up to properly zip your backpack before hauling it over your shoulder. “Oh, that’s right! Just a couple days ago you were here with your friends, right?”

He gave a bashful sort of grin. He had been here a couple days ago when he came to bother Changmin, and ended up hanging out backstage while Hyunjae’s best friend hosted auditions for her play. It was then that he had seen you hustling about with the Lee Jihoon about lights. He’d been caught so off-guard by seeing you; it was a miracle he managed to even get Changmin to forget about that whole interaction. “Yeah, sorry I was kind of… weird. I didn’t expect you, that's all.”

“Lots of surprise run-ins with us, huh,” you teased, the side of your arm bumping with his as you walked.

Us.

“It’s nice to see you more often though.”

You nodded. “The feeling’s mutual, Sunwoo. Thanks for warning me earlier; I’m usually more careful with my stuff, especially when I’ve got special cargo.” As you said this, you reached back to pat your backpack affectionately.

Sunwoo lifted a brow, opening the door for you as the two of you stepped out into the lobby. “Oh? What kind of special cargo?”

The smile on your face widened. “It’s, uhm, a recording mic, actually! I’ve been coming by to intern around the tech side of things here, and Chan and Jihoon give me some tips about music production, too.” You trailed off, an idea taking hold in your head, and that wide beam from just seconds ago became this shy, little thing. “Hey… would you maybe be up to listening to something of mine? I mean, it’s kind of a weird request, but your music taste from first quarter was top notch—”

“Yes,” Sunwoo said, without even waiting for you to finish your rambling.

You paused, and he rejoiced in the pure delight on your face. “Really? That’s—this is great. Wait, I’m so excited! We’ll need to find a private place to listen, but—”

“Oh my gosh, Yn?”

Coming in from the front lobby doors was none other than Han Jisung, a fellow second-year whom Sunwoo was familiar with. He was bundled in a massive, puffy cream jacket with his head shoved into a beanie, and his nose was reddened from the cold. Jisung tucked the earbuds in his ears away into their case, waddling over to you both with the joy of a baby penguin. “And Sunwoo! Woah, it’s so cool to see you, man. What’s up?”

Sunwoo clasped his hand in his. “S’cool to see you, too, dude. Yn and I were just on our way out.”

Jisung moved over to you and pulled you in for an affectionate side hug. “Oh, well, that’s nice to hear,” he snickered, wagging his eyebrows at you while you sent him a pointed look.

Wonder what that was all about…

“Anyways,” continued Jisung, “I just came by to bother Channie-hyung. Is he in the box?”

You bobbed your head in affirmation. “Yup. There isn’t anyone else with him right now, so I’m sure there’ll be plenty of space for you to bug him.”

“Nice,” he grinned. As he walked away in the direction from which you and Sunwoo came, he sent a wave. “See you both around!”

“Bye!” Both you and Sunwoo called back before resuming your walk out the front entrance.

“So how do you—” The two of you laughed when you both started talking at the same time, saying the same thing. Sunwoo gestured toward you, insisting that you ask the question first. You did: “So how do you know Jisung?”

Sunwoo snorted at the memory. “I, uh, saw him in the hall once and smacked his ass, then asked for his number.”

You had to stop to double over in laughter, clutching your stomach while Sunwoo looked on in flustered amusement. Your face had heated up considerably, and you barely managed to follow him down the steps toward the bus stop. “You what?” You asked, once you could get out anything other than wheezes.

He chuckled, shrugging. “Okay, well, I actually know him from this music summer camp we both went to in high school. I didn’t realize he came to this uni until I saw him last year and… well, made my presence known to him.”

You clapped your hands together and collapsed onto the bus bench. “I was gonna say—that’s one hell of a hello.”

“It’s a true story,” he insisted.

“Oh, I believe you.”

The two of you shared a laugh for a moment and Sunwoo took a seat beside you, his knee bouncing up and down as you waited for the bus to come by. He nudged your shoulder with his. “So what about you then? How do you know Han?”

“Hm? Ah, I just know him ‘cause we share the same major-ish. I’m sound and music production, and he’s just a general music major,” you explained. “We also share a composition class, as well as a writing course. Did you know the guy is a fantastic poet?”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows arched upward. “I would not be surprised; the guy’s an ace.”

“Totally agree.” You fidgeted with your phone between your hands. “He was also one of my first friends here after I transferred. He’s kind of shy, but he’s one of the good eggs you can meet.”

A nod. He glanced over at you, his eyes breathing in the far away look on your face. “Yeah, he is. But hey, at least you got to befriend him then, hm? Maybe some things are just meant to be.”

You met his gaze and Sunwoo felt his heart stutter into a gallop. “Yeah,” you murmured, “I think so, too.”

— ✶

You and Sunwoo ended up in one of the booths of the restaurants on the Avenue. It was a cozy, little hole in the wall with soup that tasted like home and made your belly feel warm and content. You had set up shop at your table, your laptop with the audio file pulled up and your wired earbuds plugged in. You had to power all of your will into not showing Sunwoo how nervous you were for him to listen to this—your fingers shook slightly even as you passed him both of your earbuds.

In an attempt to pass off as cool, calm and totally collected, you brought your glass of water to your mouth to sip on. You'd thought to order food first, then let Sunwoo listen to the file.

"Let me know if you can't hear anything," you blurted out just before he put the buds in.

He paused, then smiled. "I got it," he assured you warmly.

Once the buds were fitted and the song started playing, you could only wait and watch to gauge his reaction.

At first, his eyes widened a smidge. Then he slowly began nodding to the beat, eyes falling closed as he soaked in the electric guitar chords mixed in that Jisung helped you out with. You watched him lean back in his seat… saw the smile bloom on his face, wide like a flower opening its petals to greet the brilliant sun.

And that beautiful smile… oh, he was so pretty when he smiled.

It was a couple minutes later that his eyelids finally fluttered open, and yet that smile on his face remained ingrained there. He passed you your earbuds as you awaited the verdict. "Girl, you've got pipes," he said with emphasis, his face screwed up in an expression one could only describe as appreciative. "Like—oh my god, I want that bridge tattooed on my forehead," he groaned and leaned forward to bury his face in his palms.

Your heart could fly, soar, literally ascend to fucking space! You smiled, big and wide, as you wrapped up the wire chords around three fingers. "I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it?" He perked up, then melted to the table as he mumbled into his hoodie sleeve, "I could kis…" You didn't catch the end bit of his sentence as his voice dissipated into the fabric of his shirt.

"What'd you say?"

When he lifted his head, his cheekbones had flushed a shade of rose gold. He cupped the back of his neck with a nervous laugh, "Nothing! It was nothing. I just—I just love it, Yn. Really, I mean it. I'm not just saying that because we're friends—"

"Ah, so we're friends?" You jested, even as your heart skipped like a pebble across the surface of a lake.

Sunwoo blinked, lips pursed. "We're not friends?"

"No, I'm only kidding!" You said and leaned your cheek against your fist. "Your reaction was cute though."

You swore something shuddered across his face, but you didn't have much time to analyze it when you felt a presence make himself clear at the head of the table.

Yangyang appeared in a warm-looking jacket and scarf, his eyes flickering curiously between you and Sunwoo. You suddenly felt an anxious spike in your chest at the thought of what this might have looked like to him. That was, until he saw the laptop, of course. You saw the relief in his shoulders, the ease in which he smiled now. "Hey Yn-ie, didn't know you'd be here."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo scratch his jawline, then scoot forward and offer his hand to Yangyang. "Hey, I'm Sunwoo. You're Yangyang, aren't you?"

Yangyang clasped Sunwoo's hand good naturedly with a typical gummy smile. "Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you."

"I was just showing him the project," you said next, drawing both of the boys' attention to you.

"Ah," your friend nodded. "How'd you like it, Sunwoo?"

Sunwoo lit up. "It was—incredible. I don't even know how to describe it, y'know? If it was on my Spotify, it'd probably be on my Wrapped."

There went your heart, goodness. You and Sunwoo locked eyes across the table, and you wished you could convey how much his words meant to you by just a look.

"Totally agree," Yangyang nodded. "My Yn-ie's got a gift and she knows how to use it." He gave your head a gentle pat, and heat rose to your cheeks from the bombardment of attention. It hit you subtly, an epiphany—

Yangyang cleared his throat then and returned his hand to his side. "Anyways, I'll leave you two to it. I'll talk to you later?" He asked you as he was already taking a step backward.

—the heat wasn't for him. It simply wasn't.

"Yeah! I'll shoot you a text later," you promised. You realized then that you had barely even spoken to Yangyang since your Valentine's Day date ended several weeks ago. There had just been a lot of mixed feelings churning around in your head that needed time to be sorted out. (And it was currently being resolved.) With a slight inward grimace, you turned your focus back to the guy you'd brought here in the first place.

Sunwoo slid your laptop over to your side of the table. "Soooo… you and Yangyang, huh?" He laughed, and you weren't certain, but it sounded a bit unsteady.

You played with the hem of your sweater sleeve. "I mean, kind of? Not really? We went on that date a while back, if you remember, but that's about it."

He leaned in. "Yeah, I remember."

"Yeah, and we also haven't had time to really properly talk since?" You winced. "I guess it's not really as bad as I make it sound. It's just that, we've pretty much known each other since primary school. He had just moved from Taiwan, and we were pretty good friends. And he would move back and forth between here and this one town in Germany, but we would always—" you made a vague gesture, "—find each other? Is that the word?"

You let out a breathy sort of laugh. "I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm telling you my history with this guy. It's stupid."

Sunwoo frowned and shook his head. "It's not stupid, Yn."

You inhaled, then chewed on your cheek. "It's just that I always feel like people don't really stick around, at least for me. But Yangyang… he's been one of the few constants in my life, and I'm really grateful for that."

"I'm sensing there's a 'but' with this."

You indulged him. "But I'm starting to think that maybe I can't really see him as that kind of constant, if that makes sense." Your brows furrowed in thought. The boat you were on rocked roughly with the waves, the water turbulent and unsteady, as if at any moment it could throw you off. But you were used to the rocking, and you weren't sure why you should be so used to it. Settling for Yangyang even though you were beginning to realize that he probably wasn't The One? That was like staying docked in a home port you'd grown used to when you yearned for the horizon.

You heard Sunwoo crack his knuckles, and perhaps there really was a certain sheen to his eyes then. "I don't want to put words in your mouth," he drawled carefully, "and I can't imagine how exactly you feel and I don't know your whole story. But it has to be hard when it feels like, I don't know, like people are moving on without you." The earnestness in his eyes made his dark brown eyes deeper and richer. "And maybe it's comfortable with Yangyang and you want to try with him because you know that you two will always somehow find each other again."

"You kind of put what I was thinking into coherent sentences there," you mused, the corners of your lips curling upward.

Sunwoo reflected your expression. "That's good to hear, because I was pretty sure I sounded arrogant."

You laughed then, shaking your head. "No, I appreciated that. And you got it right." Breathing a sigh, you saw a waiter coming by to drop off the food the two of you had ordered. "I think it's just taken me some time with myself and with—with other people to make me realize it."

He glanced up with thanks as the waiter passed you your meals, and you swore you saw his hand make a move to reach for yours across the table. But he stopped short, and instead, helped move your hot bowl of soup over to you. "You never know," he said sheepishly, "The One could be right under your nose."

— ✶

eric 🤨: dude where did u go??? cobie hyung and i looked up and u disappeared into thin air

eric 🤨: omg jisung said u went somewhere w a GIRL??? IS THIS THE GIRL U WERE GETTING ALL DRUNK AND SAD ABT 👀

sunwoo’s phone: YAH!!! OH MY GOD STFU

eric 🤨: no.

EPISODE FIVE: LOTS OF THINGS BLOOM IN SPRING

“SO her name is DJ Dove?”

Sunwoo made a face around his toothbrush as he spat the frothy white into the sink bowl. “For the millionth time, yes.” Through the mirror, Sunwoo watched Eric’s face as his roommate perched himself atop the kitchen counter and went quiet, his face pensive. After coming home to Eric’s confrontation, Sunwoo promised to explain it all in the morning to him.

It was unfortunately the morning, meaning Sunwoo had spent the past hour bringing Eric up to speed on his nonexistent love life. Fortunately, it was also a Wednesday morning, which meant you had just posted your newest episode of the podcast, and Sunwoo could force Eric to listen to it with him. A part of him was tense at the thought of no longer “gatekeeping” his little secret that he had kept for the past several months, but this was Eric, one of his best friends. Maybe this would lift a weight off of Sunwoo’s chest by finally telling someone.

“...I’m still in the thrall of dead week,” your voice blasted from the speaker of Sunwoo’s phone at high volume, “and it’s come to my attention that next quarter will probably be a lot for me. I guess this is me forewarning you all that I might be late with some episodes because I’ve got this new internship thing.”

Sunwoo dunked his face into the sink bowl as he splashed water over his lathered foam cleanser. “She’s talking about her internship at the performing arts center.”

“How do you—never mind, forget I asked.”

Sunwoo patted his face dry, then opened the medicine cabinet for all of the skincare products he used to start off the day.

“...It’s been awhile since I’ve recommended something myself, so today, do enjoy ‘gone too long’ by lullaboy with me.” The song began a few seconds after you queued it up, and the apartment was then filled with muted vocals and strings.

Sunwoo straightened. He and Eric went quiet for a while as they both let the song sink in. Sunwoo continued to slather sunscreen on his face and neck, and Eric had started up the stove to make a batch of ramen for the both of them.

A peculiar sensation draped itself over Sunwoo’s shoulders, a blanket of something that wasn’t quite calm and wasn’t quite jittery. He didn’t know how to pinpoint or label the weird tightness in his chest. The song was strangely intimate, as almost all the music Sunwoo listened to was, but when it came from another person, it was always a whole new level of intimate. Whenever someone recommended a song, it was a way to view a piece of them—perhaps not a large piece, but a piece nonetheless. If eyes were the windows to the soul, then music was the viewfinder.

Maybe he missed you. But that didn’t make sense—it… it couldn’t make sense. He saw you yesterday, and he was listening to you now. How could he miss you?

“She has good taste,” Eric murmured as the song faded out.

Sunwoo nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah. She does.”

“...Hopefully when you miss me you’ll play that song,” he heard you say in a lighthearted tone, even though he felt almost like the complete opposite. “On that note, Rhaps sent in a message asking about the dance showcase coming up! ‘Are you planning on going, and if so, any acts you’re looking forward to? Isn’t it crazy that we could be sitting next to each other and never even know?’ —”

Eric perked up, his head peering over his shoulder to look at Sunwoo as he came out of the bathroom to join Eric in the kitchen. “That’s you? Rhaps?”

“Rhapsody Anonymous,” Sunwoo corrected. “And don’t judge me!” He added with a pointed look, finger jabbing in Eric’s direction.

Eric shook his head with a giddy sort of grin. “I didn’t say anything.”

For a moment, the two boys went quiet with only your voice and the sounds of the stove keeping them company.

A thought occurred to Eric though, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Does it ever feel like lying?” He asked and gestured for Sunwoo to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet.

Sunwoo walked over with the soup bowls, then leaned his hip against the counter next to Eric. “Does what feel like lying?”

“Hiding that you know it’s her.”

Well… Sunwoo idly scratched his jaw. “I guess I never thought about it like that,” he said. All this time, he’d figured it was probably better that he didn’t bring it up to you. After all, you used a pseudonym for a reason and didn’t show your face. Maybe this was just supposed to be your secret passion project that you used as a safe space. He didn’t want to burst your bubble by confronting you with that information. How would he even go about doing it? Oh hey, by the way, I’ve known that you’re this podcast host DJ Dove for a very long time? That probably had ‘awkward’ written all over it.

Eric passed him a pointed glance. “Something to think about then.”

— ✶

Finals week had come and gone, a hurricane of destruction in its own right. But when the storm passed, it gave way to the beautiful cherry blossoms blooming in the quad. As per university tradition, the quad was filled to the brim with students, staff, and tourists alike gathering to pose in the falling pink petals that marked the coming of Spring Break. This was no different for Sunwoo’s friend group who was dragged out to the event by none other than Choi Chanhee. In an effort to appease his friend in some aspect, Sunwoo had come dressed in something decently presentable: black cargo pants, blue denim jacket, and his face fitted in a pair of dark frames (that were definitely not just frames or missing the lenses…).

He shoved his hands into his pockets after taking a peak at the time on his watch. The group had been here for about ten minutes thus far, and half of them had already split off with their significant others to take their own rounds about the quad. They weren't the only ones—in fact, there were probably as many couples as there were people taking grad photos and cosplay photos.

And wait, someone had come in their wedding dress—nothing spelled out Sunwoo's singleness more potently than a couple getting married.

He took a panoramic glance and accidentally watched another couple go in for a kiss. He looked away with a slight frown, blowing a curl out of his eyes. "I hate this more than Valentine's Day," he grumbled.

From beside him, Kevin Moon sighed as he tested a shot with his camera and had to adjust the settings for the right exposure. "You're telling me." When he raised his camera up again, he immediately had to bring it back down with a deadpan expression, "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."

As the group's self-proclaimed Dad, Lee Sangyeon, summoned the attention of the boys who were present for a partial group photo. Sunwoo smiled for it, then returned to his frown. Chanhee had his camera held up as he attempted to take a selfie shot since he had been staking out this one tree trunk that a group of people had just left. Sunwoo had to admire the way Chanhee wordlessly swooped in like a vulture over a dead carcass.

"Aye, Kim Sunwoo," Chanhee exclaimed and beckoned Sunwoo over with a curl of his two fingers. Chanhee's head scanned the immediate area and his nose wrinkled when he realized he was missing someone. "Where did Changmin go? He was literally right… ah."

Chanhee's voice trailed off and a sly, little grin when he located the man in question. "Look."

Sunwoo followed Chanhee's gaze across the field to where he was sneaking up behind a familiar person. Sunwoo had met this girl twice, once when he and Changmin had gone looking for Jacob and the other when he went with Changmin to go see her for moral support. Both times, strangely, had been at the lab. Huh, did she even go home…?

But then Sunwoo observed the way Changmin and CM!Yn looked at each other. Though Sunwoo had seen Changmin's eyes light up before, this was a different sort of twinkle, something softer. There had always been a cloud hanging over Changmin when it came to this girl, always some kind of bittersweetness that held him back. It made a smile crawl onto his lips at the sight of Changmin so happy.

"Wah," Chanhee murmured in awe. "They really mended their relationship well, don't you think?"

Sunwoo pursed his lips with an indulgent nod. "Yeah, I'd think so."

His friend sighed. "Oh, well. Looks like it's just us two then."

Sunwoo stepped forward and took Chanhee's phone from him, swiftly changing it to the forward facing camera. Chanhee struck a few poses beneath the blush pink trees as he soaked in the golden hour sunlight streaking across the lawn. Eventually, Sunwoo turned the camera back around to take shots of both himself and Chanhee.

He adjusted the phone so that the selfie mode could capture both of them when he spotted Chanhee scuttling back over toward him with a pile of pink petals collected in his palms.

Sunwoo's eyes went wide and he leapt backward away from his grinning friend. "Hyung, come on, let's talk about this."

Chanhee cackled and inched forward still. His hair was the exact same color as the flowers cupped in his palms. "Sunwoo-ah," he sang, "I think your hair needs a bit of color."

"I just did my hair this morning!" He whined and pleaded desperately. The last thing he needed was to be plucking stray petals from his curls later tonight. When Chanhee still wouldn't quit, adrenaline began to pump through Sunwoo's veins in anticipation for what he needed to do next. "Chanhee hyung! We can be civil about this."

"Civility is overrated!"

Just as Chanhee pounced, Sunwoo swerved on the ball of his foot and made a mad dash toward the other side of the quad. Chanhee's giggles filled the late afternoon air like the twinkling of bells, and though it was probably an amusing sight for onlookers, Sunwoo was running for his life.

Sunwoo pumped his legs furiously as he weaved in between people standing and taking their pictures, screaming out apologies for photobombing them as he went. And when he nearly tripped over someone's dog, he managed to lock eyes with yours.

You. Oh my god, you were here.

He had little time to fully comprehend what he was about to do, but he made a beeline for you.

"Sunwoo, hey—oh!"

Sunwoo grabbed your shoulders and careened himself behind you, his face partially hidden behind yours. "I'm sorry, but—" he screeched, "—he's threatening to ruin my hair!"

Chanhee laughed as he stopped in front of you and Sunwoo. His pale cheeks were dusted with the color of the flowers in the air. "Ah, well, hello. This isn't very gentlemanly of you, Sunwoo. Who's this?" He threw Sunwoo a look over your shoulder.

Fuck. He hadn't thought this one through.

Sunwoo laughed sheepishly and let go of your shoulders to clasp the back of his neck. It was only then he realized you were wearing a delicate, pastel sundress with cherry blossoms littered in your own hair. A gentle breeze wafted by and through your skirt and brushed back a few strands of your hair too.

Pretty…

"This is," he stammered, snapping out of his daze, "Yn. Yn-ie, this is one of my close friends, Chanhee."

"It's nice to meet you," Chanhee said with a warm smile and slight bow of his head.

You gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you, too, despite the circumstances."

"I would wave back," Chanhee gestured with his hand of flowers, "but this is a nice pile, don't you think?"

To your credit, you played along. You laughed, "I totally agree. It definitely should not be wasted on giving me a wave. Though, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to get back at Sunwoo." You turned your head and cocked a brow at him, to which he smiled back boyishly.

Chanhee considered you again for a moment. "I like your style. I guess I'll just… leave you to it then," he drawled and sent Sunwoo very pointed glances with his eyes toward you. Something about the way Chanhee's eyes narrowed minutely made Sunwoo want to hide behind you again.

Chanhee whistled a merry tune as he went on his way, leaving you and Sunwoo to your own devices as he probably went to go find his next victim.

"I'm so sorry about that," Sunwoo lamented as soon as Chanhee was out of ear shot. "I did not mean to make you a human shield."

You chuckled. "It's okay, dude, really. Definitely didn't think I'd find anyone I knew in this mess, so it's nice seeing you out here."

Sunwoo gave you yet another once over and felt heat crawl up the column of his neck. "I—you look really pretty," he said, gesturing to your outfit.

"Oh, thank you," you chirped. "You clean up quite well yourself."

The two of you shared a smile then and for a second, Sunwoo's mouth went dry and no words leapt from his tongue. They all remained lodged in his throat where his heartbeat went pitter-patter.

He cleared his throat, breaking eye contact with you for a moment.

You made a vague nod toward one of the open benches lining the perimeter of the quad, an invitation. "Wanna come sit with me?"

"Do I?" Yes. The answer was yes.

When you and Sunwoo were seated side by side, centimeters separating your arms and legs from touching the other, his heart still had not settled. The adrenaline, in fact, also had her to dissipate. With wide eyes, he soaked everything in.

"Did you go to the winter showcase on Friday night?" He blurted, turning to you.

You met his gaze. "I did. It was such a cool experience, especially since it was my first time. Did you?"

He nodded, locking his lips. "I did, yeah," he murmured. "I had a couple friends performing, so we all went to cheer them on. It's always a really great time though; I'm glad you got to go."

"Oh, that's nice. I always find dancers so impressive," you said with a wistful gleam in your eyes. "Do you dance?"

He found himself fidgeting with Chanhee's phone that he still held onto in his lap. "A little," he admitted bashfully. "I took an intro to hip-hop class last year, and I sometimes dance with my friends. Just—not in public," he said.

For a second, something flickered across your face. But he must have been dreaming because it was gone as quickly as it came.

"So music and dance? You're a multi-talented threat, Sunwoo."

"Aw, not really," he giggled. He wanted to hide his burning face in the collar of his jacket, but there was something about you that also made him unafraid to show you this side of him. Actually, you made this side of him come out. He wasn't usually so terribly shy, always tumbling over his words and doing diction cartwheels… communications major, his ass. "What about you? You're literally a musical genius. You should be on my Spotify Wrapped, Yn."

This time, he could relish in making you flustered. "Aye, you can't say that and expect me not to wanna…" You lost your own words, biting your tongue.

He didn't know what got into him, but he leaned forward closer to you. "Expect you not to what?" He asked lowly, teasingly.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and he swore his own rapidly-beating organ was going to come flying out of his chest.

"Expect me not to—steal your glasses!" With a high-pitched squeal, you snatched the lensless frames from right off his nose.

Sunwoo gasped in scandal, diving to grab them back, but you had already stood up from the bench. "Yah! Those were expensive frames!"

Your face lit up as you donned them. "You'll have to take it off my face then!"

"Bet!" And he lurched after you as you took off into the setting sun.

Your voices echoed across the quad: "Jisuuuuuung! Jisung, save me!"

"Jisung can't save you when he's scared of me!"

EPISODE SIX: AND THE MUSES ARE OFF!

"IT'S not a date!"

"It's a date!"

"It's not a date!" Sunwoo stopped abruptly in the middle of his living room where he had been wearing a hole in the wood floors from pacing. He whirled on his sock-clad heels to face his sofa of judges, Changmin and Chanhee. Eric was out with his girlfriend watching the newest action movie that had come out over Spring Break. "She would say if it was a date, right?"

Chanhee smacked his palm against his forehead with a puff of air. Changmin, however, leaned back on the couch with a ponderous look on his face and rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "She probably would. She seems like she has more balls than you."

"Hey!"

Changmin grinned. "Just saying." He then leaned down to pick up his duffle bag sitting at his feet. "I've gotta run now, but let me know how it goes."

Sunwoo leveled a scowl at him as he passed by to go to the door. "I hope CM!Yn trips you in the practice room."

"Into her arms!" He hollered back, which was swiftly followed by the front door slamming shut.

While Changmin was headed out to meet CM!Yn at the practice room for her first time returning to dance after three years, Sunwoo and Chanhee were left to prepare Sunwoo for today's agenda. Yesterday, you and he had traded numbers, to which you had immediately asked if he'd wanted to hang out with you some more over Spring Break. The answer had been as easy as counting to three.

Now the only problem was to not freak out over it.

"You're picking up lunch, aren't you?" Chanhee asked as he shoved Sunwoo into the bathroom.

Sunwoo nodded shallowly and picked up his round brush and blow-dryer. "Mhm. I'm meeting her at the performing arts building, and we're gonna take the metro up to Lake Anchor. Ever been up there?"

Chanhee fixed the collar of Sunwoo's white button-up, then snatched the brush and blowdryer out of his hands to do it for him. "Nope. Heard it's nice up there though."

"Yeah," Sunwoo muttered, nearly dropping the serum bottle in his hands. "She said her friend Sieun recommended it."

"Ah."

It wouldn't have felt like a date as much if Sunwoo hadn't searched up Lake Anchor when you'd texted him about it last night. The place was gorgeous, a certified calendar-worthy landscape with purple mountain majesties in the back and shores lined with emerald green hills and willow trees. It didn't help that the Reddit pages all deemed it a "couple's picnic spot you can't miss." Oh, he wasn't going to miss it, all right.

Thirty minutes later, he found himself outside the doors to the performing arts center where you said you were currently taking a tech lesson from Bang Chan. He had a paper bag of snacks and sandwiches from the local convenience store in one hand and the other tucked away into his pocket.

He wondered if he could go in and see you, but he'd already texted you he was waiting outside, and you'd replied you were on your way out.

Just as he was about to go sit on one of the benches, one of the doors at the entrance opened. You emerged out into the late spring morning with the breeze in your hair, a tote bag slung over one shoulder, and a ukulele case hanging from the other. You smiled wide at him and waved.

Sunwoo's lips parted into a grin. "Hi. I got us snacks," he said and lifted the brown bag in his hand.

"Sunwoo, you didn't have to," you pursed your lips fondly, adjusting your bag straps.

"I wanted to." The two of you fell into step in the direction of the closest metro station. It would be a short walk from here into the university Avenue, and down a block to the station. Everything was conveniently placed in the name of accessibility. "Plus, I didn't really eat breakfast," he admitted.

"Me neither." You cupped half your face with your palm. "Aish. I always forget I have, like, yogurt in the fridge, y'know?"

Sunwoo chuckled. "Yeah, I get that. My roommate and I always forget that we have groceries in the fridge because we always see the ramen packets on the counter instead. How was the lesson with Chan?"

The two of you stopped at the intersection to wait for the light. You hugged your ukulele to your chest. "It was good! He's always really helpful and knowledgeable—and patient," you mused. "I hope you don't mind me bringing my uke along though. I thought it would be a nice form of entertainment once we got up to the lake."

"I'm not entertaining enough for you," he gasped melodramatically, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.

You laughed, and the sound made him break his pout and smile. "I thought I would be the entertaining one for once. D'you know how to play?"

The crosswalk sign turned on for you, and you both made your way across.

"I know some guitar," Sunwoo answered, "but just the basics. They teach you a bit at summer music camp." As he walked by your side, he felt his hand brush against the back of yours. "My hyung—Jacob—he plays guitar pretty well. He's good at singing, too, like you."

He caught your smile from the corner of his eye.

"He did it to woo his girlfriend," he jested, sticking his tongue in his cheek when he remembered how JC!Yn brought him and Haknyeon up to speed last quarter about her love life antics.

You chuckled. "That's a shame you know the trick," you said with an impish twinkle in your eyes, "because that was exactly my plan."

Sunwoo came to a screeching halt in the middle of the walkway, and when you realized he was still staring wide-eyed at the sidewalk, you let out a laugh and went back to drag him along to the station.

— ✶

The view was something out of a magazine, the kind that took one's breath away. You and Sunwoo had claimed the shade beneath a willow tree and settled down across from each other with the brown paper bag flattened out to display the feast he had purchased. There were other small groups of people around, as well, all of whom seemed to have the same ideas as you two as they soaked up sun, read books and napped in the shade, and picnicked along the grassy shoreline. There was even a small booth a mile down the bank that rented out swan-shaped paddle boats and canoes for people to take out onto the water.

You and Sunwoo had pretty much demolished all of the goodies he brought with him. The conversation had been flowing, simple and organic, and you felt at peace—that was the best way to describe it. Maybe it was the location, the circumstance, the company, or all three.

You picked up your ukulele from where it laid in its case by your side. "Any suggestions?" You queried, taking the instrument out and checking that it was in tune.

Sunwoo brushed his hands of crumbs and braced his palms on the grass behind him. It was the visual of him in that white shirt, his sleeves rolled up and collarbone exposed, jawline clean and sharp as he gazed out at the view that made your heart race again. "Hmm," he hummed, "what did you first learn on it?"

"I think I taught myself Lemonade by Jeremy Passion," you said to him and scoured your brain for the right chords. You strummed a G-flat minor, and when it sounded about right, you shifted to B, until you managed to jog your memory of all four chords.

He watched you with softened eyes, his knees pulled up to his chest now as he leaned his cheek onto the tops of his knees. "That's a good song," he murmured.

"Do you know the lyrics?"

He chuckled, shaking his head and flicking his wrist. "Oh, no, no. I don't sing."

"Doesn't sound like you can't," you quipped back with a teasing tilt in your smile. You swayed a little as you played the tune over and over again. "A little shy, are we?"

You could see the smile peeking from his lips even when he tried to hide it in his arms. "I don't sing a lot."

"If I sang the first verse, would you join me in the chorus?" You offered as a compromise. You wouldn't push after this if he still refused, but there was a part of you that felt like you needed to hear this beautiful man sing for you.

He balked for a second, toeing at the dirt. Then, "Okay. I'll join in at the chorus."

A smile bloomed on your face. "Excellent."

You were a little shaky going in yourself. Though you had definitely practiced this song more times than you could count, performing it for someone else was always like playing it for the first time. And you wanted Sunwoo to enjoy it, and to be impressed by you. You wanted to do well for him and to be able to encourage him.

As he said he would, you heard him join in at the chorus—softly, at first, until he was the main vocal and you could bolster him with the harmony.

His eyes met yours, all smiles, as the song continued on. The ending verse… dear god, you could fall over from pure giddiness at the way he nailed the runs and you could do a little showing off with your strumming. Shivers, just plain shivers.

"She's exactly what… I need," he crooned, fingers playing absentmindedly with a strand of grass.

You let the vibrations of the strings linger in the spring air for a moment. It was like the two of you were encased in this bubble all by yourselves; and it was beautiful. It was perfect.

"I knew you could sing," you said to him. "I just had a feeling."

He hung his head, but the smile on his face could not be suppressed. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For encouraging me," he shook his head. "Believing in me."

You pursed your lips together thoughtfully and you wished you could pick his brain without risking total invasion. "Do people not believe in you often?" You asked quietly, shifting to move yourself around the pile of rolled-up trash and to sit next to him.

He followed your lead, scooting himself next to you until you were no longer opposite, but adjacent. "Not people, just me, I think."

"Ah." You could empathize.

He gave a shallow nod. "Do you ever get scared of making a mistake so you don't—I dunno—go for it? And then you end up thinking that maybe not taking that risk was the mistake?"

You set your ukulele down in the case beside you and mirrored his position, arms looped around your legs. "I do. All the time actually, and it's a scary feeling."

"Yeah," he exhaled. "Sometimes I wish I had just gone into music, full-on. I mean, a communication major is useful and all, but there are times when I wonder where I would have been if I had nurtured that passion."

His words resonated within you. There was a reason why you transferred to this university and decided to leave your original plan behind. You had gone into college with an intent to major in Computer Science, but less than a year in, it had become abundantly clear to you how unhappy you were. Leaving wasn't just a choice, it had been a need.

You turned to look at Sunwoo and you felt your chest tug toward him. You bumped his leg with your knee. "You still have time," you said. "It's not too late to still see where that goes."

But you knew the conflict that warred in his head; you knew it all too well because you had experienced it firsthand. It was much more complicated than simply chasing after one's dreams. There was obligations, expectations, fears, and physical obstacles that made the situation more complex than it seemed at first glance. You didn't know his family situation, didn't know the whole story of why he hadn't taken his summer music camp experiences and translated it into his current college career.

You didn't know it all… but you wanted to. You wanted to know everything about him.

"You said you don't have a minor figured out yet, right?" You asked suddenly, an idea coming to you.

He hummed. "Yeah."

"Well, why don't you choose music as your minor?" When he didn't answer right away, you added, "You obviously don't have to decide right this second—it's just something to think about."

(It seemed he had a lot he needed to think about lately.)

Sunwoo rose up and leaned back onto his palms again. When he turned to look at you, a sense of calm had come over him this time. "I really appreciate you."

You broke into a smile. "I appreciate you, too."

"No, really," he laughed, then bit his lip. "I'm sorry for screwing the mood—"

"You're not! Really," you insisted. "I don't mind. I like having meaningful conversations with people who mean a lot to me."

He didn't even have to say anything, because there was this look, one you simply could not ignore. It made your stomach feel like it was swarmed with butterflies and that you were walking on air. It was like watching him smile while listening to the song you wrote, like walking out of the performing arts center to see him waiting for you. He didn't have to say anything because you knew—you had to. There simply could not be any other explanation, right?

EPISODE SEVEN: WHAT IF SOULS FEEL FAMILIAR FOR A REASON?

YOU had been keeping a secret.

"So what you're saying is that you know that he knows, but he doesn't know that you know that he knows?"

You nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah, pretty much."

Jisung made a face and rested his temple against his palm. "My brain hurts."

From where she was perched on a stool, Park Sieun reached over and patted Jisung's nest of hair. "It is a little confusing. Why don't you just confront him about it?"

"I don't know," you huffed and fell back against the wall. The three of you were holed up in one of the private studios on campus. There weren't many buildings opened since it was still Spring Break, but many of the performing arts facilities were. Jisung had offered for you and Sieun to meet him in the room he had snagged and had been currently occupying in order to bust out as much creative energy as possible. (Newsflash, it was not going well, hence, yours and Sieun's invitations.) Studio rooms were pretty much soundproof, so they were good for those in the music programs who wanted a private space to practice or record things.

You had just brought them up to speed on your latest outing with a certain Kim Sunwoo up to Lake Anchor, as Sieun had so graciously suggested to you the other day. After your outing, however, you'd come to one very solid conclusion.

Well, and there was the matter of The Anonymous Situation.

Just this morning, you had opened your inbox to find another submission from one of your regular anonymous listeners whom you affectionately nicknamed Rhaps. Rhapsody Anonymous had begun to pop up in your inbox just last quarter, and it wasn't until recently that you figured out who it was. At first, it seemed completely implausible for Sunwoo to be the face behind the name, because there was no way out of a whole internet of people that he had managed to stumble across your podcast.

To make matters more complex, you had an inkling that he also knew that you were the host of Songbird Station. He had sent you something along the lines of: "Hey Dovey! I stumbled across this song recently that I haven't heard in awhile. It's called Lemonade, and I realize that I've only actually heard the ukulele vers. LOL anyways, I hope you're not too busy this Spring Break and that you've had time to relax. I've always wondered though… have you ever met someone who feels familiar to you? Not like in a 'I've reunited with you after five years' kind of familiar, but like… something more like kindred spirits……"

The whole message had the same amount of sweetness he always used to contact and interact with you, but the recommendation of the song Lemonade simply could not be a mere coincidence. You just couldn't accept that.

You had pondered this for a long time—the possibility of confronting him about his anonymous persona. And of course, there were several things that held you back from doing so. "I mean," you began, pushing off from the wall to slowly pace the little room available, "I don't want to scare him, y'know? Like I'm sure there's a reason why he goes by a pseudonym like I do, and I don't want to burst that bubble.

"Plus," you continued, "what if I'm just thinking about this all wrong? What if I've read the signs completely out of proportion and he's not actually Rhapsody Anonymous? That would just be embarrassing."

You stopped in front of your friends with your hands positioned on your hips and your head quirked to the side in thought.

"Would it really be so bad if you brought it up, like, even subtly?" Sieun asked you, her pink-tinted lips pursed slightly.

Jisung piped up, too, "Yeah, Sunwoo's a pretty cool guy. And based on what I've seen between the two of you and what you've told us, I don't think he would laugh at you or anything."

"I don't think he would laugh at me either," you confessed. "It's just kinda scary."

The two murmured their agreement. Though Sieun was your trio's only extrovert, you actually had no idea how you'd come to be decently close friends with these two. You chalked it up to all frequenting similar social circles. The music program was always a good way to make friends, and you were glad that it had yet to fail you, even in college.

Sieun made a vague gesture with her hand. "I think you should try, though. I'm sure you'll find a way to slide it in," she chuckled.

Jisung snorted. "I have never seen that man so flustered in his life."

"Yeah, he has to be whipped for you, Yn-ie."

A cough from the boy in the room. "Not like you're any more whipped than he is."

"Han Jisung!" You reprimanded, heat swarming to your cheeks.

He broke into a boyish grin, eyes wide and alight like a chipmunk. "What? Don't give me the government name; you know it's true!"

Even Sieun was laughing behind her oh-so delicately placed hand. "He's got a point."

You sighed, wrinkling your nose. "I came for support, not a call out."

"Are those not the same things—AH, I'M SORRY DON'T WHACK ME—!"

— ✶

There was a place on the Avenue with the best lime soda, as Sunwoo had claimed, when the two of you coordinated to get lunch together. Because you had chosen the place of your last hangout, you'd insisted that he chose a place this time. By his texts, he had seemed pleasantly surprised to be hanging out again so soon, and while your nerves were high in anticipation for the coming conversation, you also couldn't wait to spend time with him some more.

You met outside the storefront of a Vietnamese restaurant that you'd only seen in passing, and had yet to try. You glanced up from your phone just as Sunwoo came up from down the road toward you, dressed in jeans and a bomber jacket.

"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he swung the door open for you.

You and he ducked inside. "It's no worries," you assured him. "Hope you're not sick of me just yet."

You saw that boyish grin of his as he caught your eyes and signaled the waiter for a table for two. "Never."

When the two of you were seated, your eyes greedily took in the options laid out on the menu. There were just far too many appetizing items—maybe you should have scouted out the menu beforehand.

"Any favorites?" You queried from over the rim of your menu.

Sunwoo was slinging his shoulder bag over his head as you asked this. "Oh, uh, I've been hooked on their shrimp banh xeo ever since my friend Haknyeon introduced me to it. It's like a Vietnamese crepe with stir fried vegetables and a protein. But I think in general, everything is pretty good here."

You hummed. "Mmh, sounds good. And you said the lime soda is really good, too?"

He nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, for sure. That stuff is addicting."

You took his word for it, and soon, the two of you had finished ordering your lunch for the day. A part of you wished you didn't have to disturb the pleasantness of this one-on-one lunch date (was this a date?) with Sunwoo by bringing up the podcast, but what if by clearing the air, it would make your relationship stronger? (Or, it could end in a fiery, hot pile of shit!)

Either way, you would try to get to it as organically as possible.

"So I wanted to talk to you about something." Yes, because this is totally organic, Yn… You grabbed your cup of lime soda and played absentmindedly with the straw.

You gauged his reaction carefully. He perked up. "You—you wanted to talk to me about something?" He parroted, pointing his finger back at himself. "That's not usually good."

"Sorry, no, it's not bad!" You promised. On the way here, you had come up with about a dozen ways to go about this, but at the end of the day, there would only be a yes or no answer. "Do you, by chance, happen to listen to podcasts?"

There was that flicker of recognition over his face, and for a second, he reminded you of something like a puppy with how wide his eyes were. "Uhh," he drawled, scratching his head and feigning nonchalance, "I mean, sometimes. Like casually."

"This might sound weird—"

"Uh-huh."

"—but are you Rhapsody Anonymous?"

If sweat could be animated, that was what you imagined to be dripping down the side of Sunwoo’s face at this moment. He seemed to be figuring out a way to reply. “Would you believe me if I asked you what a Rhapsody Anonymous is?”

“No, not really.”

“What’s a podcast?”

You huffed. “Sunwoo—”

“Okay,” he relented, slumping over slightly. He seemed nervous, in a way, eyes looking anywhere but you, twirling his straw between his thumb and index finger, his foot tapping furiously against the linoleum floor. “I’m sorry! I didn’t really want to bring up the podcast to you because I thought that you enjoyed the anonymity, y’know?” He told you with an apologetic wince. “And I really liked listening to the show, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to interact with you anonymously, as well, and over time, I thought we’d kinda become friends.”

He peered up at you nervously, and guilt wormed its way into the trenches of your gut. From what it seemed, he must have really thought that you would react negatively to him knowing your podcast-hosting side show.

“We are friends,” you finally said and scooped a lock of hair out of your face. “I’m not like, mad, or anything; it was more of me trying to figure out why you felt so familiar to me. And I’m really honored that you liked my podcast enough to want to interact with me there. It means a lot.”

With your small smile, Sunwoo’s posture flooded with relief. “So you’re not mad that I figured out your identity?”

“Definitely not,” you shook your head. “If anything, I’m relieved. I’ve been wondering about your identity for a while now.”

The corners of Sunwoo’s mouth lifted. “That’s… that’s cool. This is really cool,” he said. He let out a sigh, leaning back to slump in his chair with a dramatic expression of anguish on his face. “You have no idea how much it’s been eating me up inside, Dovey! Like how do you balance your two identities? It takes so much energy for me to make sure I keep them separate.”

“I can tell; you weren’t exactly the most inconspicuous,” you teased.

He sat up. “What do you—”

“Well, you kind of told me things in person that you’ve told to me on anonymous, and vice versa.” You recalled to him the two main instances that gave him away to you. It was amusing to see the way he grew increasingly more flustered as you kept talking about it, but you realized that this was probably incredibly painful for him to hear.

Sunwoo had his head in his hands by the time you were done. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

He shifted slightly so that his cheek rested against one palm. “And to think that I was being all slick and secretive,” he pouted, scrunching up his nose. “You know, I always thought about being friends with you in real life. That one time that I told you about that one Taylor Swift song that reminded me of you?”

“Superstar?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” He meditated on that thought while sipping his drink. “It just felt right. Like you were far away but also right there in my ear. Does that make sense?”

You knew what the song was about; you could recite the lyrics by heart, and the fact that he associated that song with you… It sent your heart a-flutter. “It does.”

He jolted up so suddenly you nearly fell out of your seat with him. “Not that I’m desperately in love with you or anything,” he added quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth as fast as he mentally skimmed through the lyrics again and again. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and you were sure that your neck looked as hot as it felt.

You pretended your heart didn’t drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that. You laughed along with him, though you weren’t sure why it sounded like it did. “Oh, right, right. I didn’t think that; don’t worry.” All the butterflies in your stomach drooped.

Sunwoo scrambled to find the right words. “I just mean that I always felt like some average Joe, and you were…” He gestured to you helplessly, “you.”

Your heart couldn’t help but give a sharp pang at that.

“And how could I ever be anything more to you than just another listener in your stats, y’know?”

You never thought that you would have ever given off that kind of vibe toward listeners, or come to mean that much to any members of your audience. It had seemed simply impossible for you to ever become large enough to evoke that kind of feeling in people—a popstar to their fans. You folded your arms over the table and leaned toward him. “Sunwoo, you were never just another listener. You made yourself known to me and you made me feel like I wasn’t alone.”

He slowly met your eyes, and you sat up straighter, reaching toward the paper straw wrapper to fidget with. “I originally started this podcast because I needed a place to talk. After feeling like people were always moving on without me, I was trying to search for validation, and I found that in podcasting. I figured that maybe… if I was feeling these things, then there had to be someone out there who was feeling them, too.

“And the song recommendation and music talk was always a nice bonus,” you added. “I had people send in anonymous submissions, but never as frequently as you did, and it made me feel like I was reaching somebody. Not just a random hit every so often, but somebody.”

Sunwoo’s eyes shone in the artificial lighting inside the restaurant, and outside your little bubble, you barely registered the noises around you. It was just you and Sunwoo in this moment in time and space. He swallowed. “You’re really cool, you know that?”

You grabbed your cup of lime soda and softly knocked it against his. “That’s all you, superstar.”

— ✶

Lunch had progressed much smoother after you had confronted Sunwoo, to say the least. You were convinced, however, that you had to meet this Haknyeon character he kept telling you about. He was the one to recommend the Vietnamese restaurant, and he was going to be your new favorite person. (Sorry, Sunwoo.)

When both you and Sunwoo had finished up with lunch, you didn’t want to cut your time with him short and asked him if he’d ever been up to the Farmer’s Market north of the Ave.

“There’s a Farmer’s Market over there?” His mouth gaped as he let you lead him a couple blocks north.

You grinned, tipping your head up to the sky to soak in the last bits of sunlight before it was about to be blanketed over by gray clouds. “Yeah! It’s really neat. They’ve got one going every week, I think.”

The walk up was an easy one as it was a straight shot from the restaurant to the intersection where white picket fences were set up to barricade the street for vendors to set up in. Pop-up tents of different colors and sizes lined either side of the street as people milled about going from vendor to vendor. This had been one of the few gems you’d found when you transferred here, and though you didn’t often visit, you tried to buy at least a couple things to support the local businesses. The fruit here tasted much better than the ones in-stores, anyway.

You and Sunwoo slipped past the fences and into the throng of people, and you watched his face light up in awe as he took in the sights and smells. There were people selling beaded bracelets and art, farmers tossing blueberries into kids’ mouths… it was a lively slice of community here.

“Wow, this is incredible,” he said, but suddenly stopped short. “Oh my god, they’re selling melon pops, Yn-ie!” He pointed out a stand a little further down the way that he had peered over a few heads for. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. “Come on! I’ll treat you to one.”

It wasn’t like you were going to refuse him.

Within another few minutes, you and Sunwoo had both acquired one melon popsicle each. It was adorable to see him bouncing along on the balls of his feet like a kid on Christmas morning as he lapped up the light green juice dripping down the side of the frozen treat.

“—look how pretty those sunflowers are!” He gasped at one of the stands to your left selling bundles of different flowers.

An idea popped into your head, and you scurried over to the booth and traded a two dollar bill for one of the baby sunflowers. You whirled around to where Sunwoo stood and waited for you. “Stand still,” you said while reaching up to tuck the flower behind his ear.

Before he could comprehend what was happening, you pulled out your phone and snapped a quick picture of him.

Sunwoo’s eyes had gone wide, his cheekbones the same color as the roses in the bundles behind you. “What… just happened,” he asked, blinking, then came over to poke your shoulder to get your attention. He peered over at your phone screen to see that you were setting the photo you took as his new contact photo. He let out a hum, “Wow.”

“It’s cute.” You let him see the picture.

He narrowed his eyes at the screen before finally giving it a nod of approval. “Okay, good enough.”

You scoffed, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand. “Good enough? I think it’s perfect.” You finished off the rest of your melon pop and tossed the stick in a nearby trash bin.

(If you’d looked up from your phone at that moment, you would have seen the utter bliss on Sunwoo’s face after hearing you compliment a picture of him and calling it “perfect.” To him, absolutely nothing could ruin this day, this moment, this year for him—!)

One raindrop fell onto your phone screen, followed by another, and another, and ano--

(He should not have spoken so soon.)

“It’s raining,” you observed dumbly, reaching a palm out to feel the pitter-patter of the sky’s tears on your skin. Others around you were beginning to notice, too, either huddling under their nearest tent or the overhangs of establishments lined on the sidewalk.

You figured somebody must have pissed the weather off because the rain only began to drum harder against the world.

"Well, shit," you laughed and patted Sunwoo on the back of his shoulder to move him toward the side of the road. "Let's find shelter!"

The two of you joined the crowd as you scrambled past the tents and up onto the sidewalks. Some people simply went into the shops themselves, but you and Sunwoo took a moment to stare out at the once-clear sky. Strange how springtime weather worked.

Sunwoo finished off his popsicle and found a trash bin to toss the stick into. He ran a hand through his dampened locks, then dragged that same palm down his face. "D'you like a little rain, dove?"

The nickname caught you off-guard for a second, but not as badly as seeing the soft-cornered smile on his face.

You cleared your throat. "I don't mind it. How about you?"

He made a frown at the sky as if he could reprimand nature for crashing the date—wait, this wasn't a date, was it? "It would have been nice if the weather report was accurate for once, but a little walk in the rain never hurt anybody."

You voiced your agreement. The next course of action you both decided on was making the long trek home in the rain together. You tried to stay out of the shower as best as you could, but there definitely weren't enough overhangs to get you home completely dry.

At one of the intersections, Sunwoo looked over at you through his dripping wet bangs. "You don't have a jacket."

On instinct, you glanced down at your bare arms, only clad in a T-shirt. "Oh, I guess I don't," you mused.

"Here—" he shouldered off the black bomber jacket and draped it over your shoulders.

"Sunwoo, I can't—"

"Yes, you can," he laughed and shook his head out. The light turned green to cross, and he wrapped an arm around you to keep you steady along the rain-slicked street.

The jacket and arm around you were both warm, but you had a feeling that even without the jacket, his arm would have been more than enough.

When you'd made it to your apartment complex and bursted into the front lobby, you and Sunwoo practically stood in your own self-made puddles. You took the jacket off from around your shoulders and shook it out; it was a shoddy attempt to get the water out, but at least the material was semi-waterproof on the outside.

"Here you…" Your throat went dry as you made to hand his jacket back to him and zeroed in on the way his wet, white T-shirt stuck flush against his skin. There was no other way to describe it but as see through, and there was no way in hell you were going to be able to erase that defined stomach from your mind. "...Go."

You coughed as you looked away, and he accepted his jacket back with a low "Thanks."

When he zipped his jacket up, you nodded toward the elevator. "Do you wanna come up and dry off before you go out? You can totally borrow my umbrella if you want, too."

He shook his head. "No, it's okay. My apartment's not far, I swear."

"Ah, alright. Get home safe then." You paused, then added, "Text me once you get back?"

Sunwoo flashed you a smile, and man, if you could engrave that smile, the wet hair, into your brain… "Promise. I'll see you soon, superstar."

He reached over and ruffled your hair, then ducked out of your apartment into the rain. Just before he was out of your sight, he turned back and waved at you through the front windows.

You let out an exhale once he had disappeared. A fuzzy feeling lingered in your chest, your smile never leaving your face. You were so far gone.

EPISODE EIGHT: SWERVE LIKE A CHICKEN

ALTHOUGH Spring Break had swept through the university faster than it came, Sunwoo could still say he felt like he was riding on Cloud 9. The beginning of the quarter was easily a more relaxed part of the term, but Spring quarter itself was a whole other nightmare in itself. Everyone around him was beginning to wake up from their break-dazed slumbers to clamber their asses back into uncomfortable lecture chairs and study rooms.

It was the first Tuesday back from Spring Break when he found out you were going to be in a practice room alone for a while, working on a new project. This intel had been courtesy of one Han Jisung, who had been texting Sunwoo off and on about a track he had been mixing with Chan.

han !!: yeah just left cuz my brain was feelin super fried 🤣 dunno how ynies still there

sunwoo's phone: oh fr?? she's still over there?

han !!: yuh bro that's what i just said

han !!: r u gonna do anything abt it 👀😳

sunwoo's phone: i have no clue what ur talking abt

han !!: okay bye chicken

sunwoo's phone: u did not just call me chicken.

han !!: 🐓🐓🐓

Sunwoo walked out of his room and stood in the middle of the apartment, staring blankly at the back of Eric's head. His roommate was seated on the couch setting up a movie, and when he sensed someone was staring at him, he began to say, "Baby!—wait a minute."

Eric made a face. "Never mind, it's just you."

Sunwoo scoffed and flopped onto the opposite end of the couch. "Rude! Before EC!Yn, I used to be your one and only."

"That's actually so incorrect—"

"Do you boys ever not cat-fight?" EC!Yn mused as she came out from the bathroom and found a seat between Eric and Sunwoo. Eric instantly curled an arm around her and pulled her into his side.

Sunwoo considered this with a frown. Why was he so single? "You're lucky I tolerate your boyfriend, EC!Yn," said Sunwoo as he folded his arms over his chest and sunk into the shadows of his hoodie.

"I'm glad you've come to like me more than your own best friend," she drawled in jest. "What's got you in the dumps, my friend?"

Eric perked up, pressing the play button on the TV remote to start the movie. "Oh yeah! You were in such a good mood this morning."

A grumble from the lump of hoodie. "It's nothing."

A moment of silence passed. Then, "He misses Yn."

"I think so, too."

"Do you think if we texted her to text him, he would at least smile?"

"Oh, I think I found her Instagram the other day—"

Sunwoo peered out of his hoodie with narrowed eyes. "I can hear you guys, you know that, right?"

Both Eric and his partner shot him impish grins, delighted that their very obvious conversation brought him out of silence. The thought forced a smile onto Sunwoo's face anyway. Eric's baseball game had been canceled today because the team who they were going up against this week had internal problems (something about an affair between coaches and players—it was complicated). Thus, Eric had decided to fill his afternoon with an impromptu movie session with his girlfriend. Sunwoo was invited by roommate obligation.

There were definitely more productive things that Sunwoo could have been doing (finding a minor, finding a job, finding the answers to his cognitive psych homework, etcetera), but watching… Wait, what were they even watching?

EC!Yn reached over and nudged his shoulder with her knuckles. "Hey, Earth to Kim Sunwoo."

He shook out of his daze. "Huh? Oh, sorry." He sighed, pulling out his phone. "Jisung just told me that Yn's at the practice room working still."

"Still?"

"Yeah," he bobbed his head. "They've been there ever since they finished their composition class this morning."

Eric lowered the volume on the TV. "Dude, you should go keep her company."

Sunwoo's eyes shot open as he began mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. "I don’t wanna bother her; she probably doesn’t wanna be bothered if she’s been working for so long.” The thought had crossed his mind to head over to the practice rooms right now and sit in for a session, but he had shut his own idea down almost immediately. Would you appreciate him going to bug you or would you mind him just going to sit with you and enjoy your presence?

“I was thinking the exact opposite,” said EC!Yn, “I mean, whenever Eric comes over unannounced to come sit with me at the dorm, I appreciate it all the time.”

Eric cooed. “Aw, you do?”

Sunwoo blinked and was suddenly glad he was staring down at his phone and not the couple on the couch next to him. But he glanced up to catch EC!Yn’s eyes. “Do you really think she wouldn’t mind?”

When Eric tucked his face into her neck, she idly scratched his head. “Oh, definitely. I think it’ll be a nice surprise, considering she probably feels the same about you, based on what you’ve already told us.”

“You’re right!” Sunwoo shot up off the couch, but halted. “Wait, she what?”

Eric snorted. “She said that Yn probably feels the same about you, which, if I’m being honest, I can’t believe—”

Sunwoo dashed into his room to grab his wallet and keys. “Nobody asked you!”

— ✶

Coffee. You liked coffee, right?

Sunwoo couldn't quite think straight with the giddy anticipation bubbling in his stomach and up his chest as he balanced twin cups of iced americano in his hands. Taking the bus to the School of Music would have been less effort on his legs, but waiting for it simply did not sit with the amount of energy currently carrying him down the street and up the stairs and across the quad like a madman.

People were probably eyeing him weirdly, but he was trying to come up with things to say to you. Preferably, these things were smooth and not strange fragments that weren't properly strung together. He wanted to look put together, to sound put together.

He was probably going to look frazzled, though, from half-running a mile uphill, but that was okay—he was excited to see you.

The School of Music stood right across from the School of Art building, the twin towers looming above the quad stairs. With school back in session, there were plenty of people milling about the entrance, and somebody graciously opened the door for Sunwoo so he didn't have to awkwardly balance his coffees and risk spilling them to get inside. He hadn't often visited this building, but he had been in here before to visit friends and upperclassmen. Though the architecture was grander, it still had the homey feeling of a high school band room, some place music students could call home.

Sunwoo navigated himself toward the practice rooms in the back hallways, murmuring "excuse me"s and apologies as he sidestepped string bassists and bassoons and snare drums. (He could've sworn there was a whole drum kit in one of these; it was strange seeing someone carrying around a single snare… huh.)

He reached the corridor to turn right into the practice hall when he froze, diving back behind the wall.

"—wait, Yangyang—"

Something in him sunk deep into the pit of his stomach, an anchor to the sea floor. He watched you launch out of your practice room and into Yangyang's arms, both of you hugging each other closely. He had his arms wrapped around you and his cheek against the crown of your head.

Sunwoo couldn't hear what you were saying to each other—if you were saying anything at all.

And you didn't let go. Not yet, at least.

When you did finally let go, the two of you were beaming at each other. It was near impossible to make out what kind of emotion was there from so far away, but Sunwoo couldn't look anymore when Yangyang leaned in towards you—

Sunwoo pressed himself against the wall he was peering around.

Oh.

He struggled to swallow; there was a large lump sitting in his throat that he had to wrestle down.

Disappointment—yeah, that was disappointment.

Before you or Yangyang could come down this way, Sunwoo retraced his steps from where he came until he was back outside. He sucked in a breath, mind abuzz.

He set down the cups of iced coffee, now perspiring, on a ledge nearby, so he could pull out his phone.

It rang twice. "Yo."

"Are you practicing right now?" Sunwoo asked, leaning his body against the railing. His free hand held his face as his brain replayed the events he had just witnessed. Did that mean what he thought he meant? You were totally allowed to see other people—the two of you weren't exclusive—but goddamn, did that hurt to think about.

Was he too late? Had he chickened out so long that you decided to move on, or was he never in the running in the first place?

He heard a bit of shuffling from the other side, then a sigh from Changmin. "Now I'm not. What's up?"

"I'm coming over."

A pause. "...Okay, see you soon."

EPISODE NINE: [YELLS.]

THERE was something different in the air and you could taste it. Not literally, of course, but you figured your paranoia had manifested strong enough within you to be able to sniff these kinds of things out. "These things" referred to the slight difference in the way you interacted with Sunwoo, or rather, how Sunwoo interacted with you.

You turned your phone off again, having checked it for what felt like the fifth time in the past two minutes. Usually, he replied relatively fast, but for the past week or so, he'd been a little more delayed. He didn't text dry, which was a relief, but there was something off about it. You couldn't articulate it too well—it was just a gut feeling.

"Oy, phone away, Yn," Sieun ordered, snapping her fingers and holding her hand out across the table.

You sent her a look, but reluctantly handed your phone over to her. "But—"

"No buts!" She tutted. She hid your phone within the confines of her purse before promptly returning to the warm bowl of biang biang noodles in front of her. "The more you check your phone, the sadder of a sap you look."

"Thanks," you deadpanned, but followed her lead and picked up your chopsticks to eat your food.

The two of you were seated in, arguably, the best Chinese restaurant on the Avenue. It had become a fast favorite of yours when you first transferred, saved for the long days and weeks when you needed something like spice to make you feel anything other than sad. Sieun had suggested coming down here for dinner rather than staying in and eating another round of instant ramen. It was something she knew would cheer you up easily, and so far, it was only half working.

You reached for your water, only to realize it was practically empty.

As if she could read your mind, the waitress taking care of your table appeared at your side and filled your water up for you.

"Oh, thank you!" Your eyes glanced over at her name tag—HN!Yn—and met her kind eyes.

"Of course. Anything else I can get you two?" She asked cheerily, swiftly filling up Sieun's cup, as well, with practiced grace. "Food's good?"

Both you and Sieun nodded your heads vigorously, especially since both of your mouths were now full and you couldn't speak. She seemed to get the idea and hustled over to a nearby table to tend to them. How waiters and waitresses always knew when you had food in your mouth, you could never figure out. It was always absolutely awful timing, but you supposed the skill was akin to Starbucks workers butchering name spellings.

When you finally swallowed your bite, you chased it with a gulp of water. "I don't think I did anything wrong," you said to your friend, pushing around the saucy rice in your bowl with the tips of your chopsticks.

Sieun covered her mouth. "I don't think so either," she replied, eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe he's just busy? It could be that he got a job or something, or school work is piling up."

You frowned. You thought he would have let you know he was going to be a bit busier, but at the same time, he didn't owe you anything. You just worried about him and hoped he wasn't overworking himself. It didn't help that you missed hanging out with him; it didn't feel like it used to between you just last week.

From behind you, you heard the door to the restaurant open and close with a loud smack! The door to the restaurant was awfully loud when it closed, unless it was carefully done. Something about the angle at which it was constructed, or something like that.

Sieun's brows flew up. "Speak of the devil," she muttered with her food pushed into her cheek.

"Hm?" You hummed and twisted around in your seat to see who she was referring to.

Oh. Well, she definitely wasn't wrong, per se.

Coming in through the door himself was Kim Sunwoo, as well as a few of his own friends, you guessed. You recognized one of them as Ji Changmin, one of the dancers from the winter showcase. Besides those two, there were four others, too—three other boys and a girl. You didn't recognize any of them, but you saw the way your waitress greeted them and squeezed one of the boys' hands.

You and Sunwoo made eye contact, and you shot him a small smile, lifting your fingers in a wave.

He seemed surprised to see you, and you didn't fault him for that. His wave was slight and smile shy, but you couldn't figure out why he ducked his head and didn't come by and say hi.

They're being seated for dinner, Yn. It's okay. Chill a little.

You turned back in your seat to face Sieun and your food again.

"Hey, cheer up, girl." Sieun's smile was sympathetic as she caught your attention. You hadn't even noticed how your posture noticeably slumped after that interaction—if one could even call it that. "Don't let this ruin your dinner, okay?"

You sighed out of your nose, testing your chopsticks over the rim of your bowl. "You're right. I don't know, Eun. It feels like we regressed? Is he avoiding me? Am I overthinking this?"

"I'm not sure, hon," she told you. "It'll be okay, though. I promise. Are you ready for the check?"

You nodded, reaching for your napkin to wipe your mouth.

Sieun lifted her hand and caught your waitress's attention, then made a motion for the bill. HN!Yn was quick to bring it over and set the little black tray with the receipt onto the edge of your table. In her hands she held a small device to input your method of payment.

"Are we splitting the bill today, ladies?" She asked you, eyes flickering between you both.

"Yeah, evenly split would be great, please," you told her.

Sieun leaned over to peer at the receipt as you reached into your bag to grab your card. Her face contorted into confusion, and she ran her finger over a line as if reading over it again carefully. "Oh, uhm, excuse me. It says we get a discount—not that I'm complaining! But…"

HN!Yn smiled. "Ah, you're friends with Sunwoo, right? That's what he told me, at least. I always give my partner and his friends my Friends & Family discount, so don't worry about it. I appreciate your integrity though."

You and Sieun exchanged wide-eyed glances, blinking, then turned to peer over at where Sunwoo's friend group sat. One of the boys sitting next to him whacked his arm to get his attention, nodding toward your table.

Sunwoo looked up.

Your head tilted to the side and you mouthed a "thank you?" to him, unsure of why he went out of his way to help you out.

He only nodded before ducking his head again. Huh. You'd have to thank him properly later.

HN!Yn was quick to help you and Sieun box your meals and finish paying. Before long, you tucked your arm around Sieun's to push out into the cool evening—not without glancing back at Sunwoo's table first.

— ✶

"She looks sad. Why is she sad?" Sunwoo sulked, lying atop his folded arms on the table and staring at you through the space between Haknyeon and JC!Yn.

You were the last person he thought he'd see when he and his friends walked into Haknyeon's favorite Chinese restaurant. You and your friend were pretty much wrapping up dinner when they'd come in, and he was quite literally startled by your presence. He'd been walking around on eggshells, he felt, all because of this stupid situation he'd forced himself into.

It was stupid. Yeah… it was stupid.

Changmin delivered a light whack to the back of Sunwoo's head. "You're dumb."

Sunwoo sat up and cupped the back of his head, leveling a glare at his friend. "Hello?"

"He's not exactly wrong," said Chanhee from the other side of him as he texted someone on his phone.

Sunwoo pressed his lips together and looked across the table from him at JC!Yn in a silent cry for help. The woman could only lift her shoulders half-heartedly. That meant that she agreed with them… great.

Eric snapped his wooden chopsticks apart and began using either stick to smooth the other for splinters. "We're saying you're dumb because you're doing this to yourself and to her unnecessarily."

Sunwoo huffed. "That's because you guys weren't there to see it happen! They're totally together—or at least, close." It still felt awful to think about. It felt like there was a hole in his chest left empty after considering the possibility that he was too late. He didn't want to get hurt.

"You can still talk to her like you used to, Sunwoo-ah," Haknyeon chimed in. "Even if they were—and I'm not saying they are—together, there's still a healthy amount of space where you can dwell as her friend."

HN!Yn appeared at the head of the table with a tray of water, and everyone pitched in to pass the cups down. "Thanks, guys," she said, tucking the tray under her arm. "Are you guys ready to order?" The question was directed towards the rest of the table, but Sunwoo saw the way her eyes lingered on Haknyeon and how Haknyeon's smile shifted to something that Sunwoo was sure was only for her.

It made him feel strange again.

The group, as usual, trusted Haknyeon's choices in dishes and let him take the reins in deciding what they ate tonight. Once HN!Yn had headed off into the kitchen to deliver their order, conversation resumed swiftly.

"I think you're just scared, Sunwoo," JC!Yn said to him over the rim of her glass of water.

Murmurs of agreement resounded from all around the table. Sunwoo's jaw fell open. "I—I am not scared. What would I be scared of?"

"The truth! Oooh," Eric pursed his lips and wiggled his fingers in Sunwoo's direction.

Sunwoo promptly smacked Eric's hand away.

"If you weren't scared of the truth," said Haknyeon, as he propped his elbows onto the table, "you would have gone up to her in that hallway."

"Didn't she tell you that she didn't see Yangyang that way anyways?" Chanhee chimed in. He was still going at it texting whoever it was on his phone.

"But she also said she wanted to give it a second chance," Sunwoo corrected.

Changmin scratched behind his ear and grabbed sauce trays from the end of the table to pass down to everyone else. "That was before she started hanging out with you some more. What is your point?"

They all made excellent points, he thought. That afternoon he'd seen you and Yangyang, he'd gone to meet Changmin in one of the dance practice rooms. After that, he'd gone home to yell into his pillow until his throat burned. Eric had muttered something about Sunwoo being dramatic and summoned JC!Yn over to the apartment to deal with him.

Sunwoo had just been bummed. He didn't even know if bummed was a strong enough word.

"I'm just scared of getting hurt, I guess," he finally admitted, meekly.

The table quieted to allow him room to speak his mind, and even Chanhee put his phone away to give him his full attention now. It wasn't often Sunwoo wore his heart on his sleeve like this, and it wasn't easy either. For anyone. Admitting to his fears in the middle of a Chinese restaurant while five of one's friends listened in was intimidating, but it was comforting to know that these friends he kept would find a way to support him. Even if he was being stupid, their tough love was out of desire to look out for him.

When he was done, Changmin clasped a warm hand on his shoulder and his dimple pressed into his cheek. "Sunwoo-yah, I think that you second guess yourself too much and you know that. You're self aware enough to know that you make the mistake of not going for what or who you want."

Sunwoo stared at an impurity in the table. What Changmin was saying hit the nail on the head—it was what happened with the dance showcase, too, and now he was about to let it ruin a friendship he had with a person he cared very much about.

"My advice," Changmin continued, "is to talk to her about what you saw and clarify it. I know it's… I know it's scary thinking you're gonna get hurt again, but I think you'll feel a lot better afterward."

EPISODE TEN: SUPERSTAR, I'M NOT TOO FAR

your phone: hey thanks for the fnf discount last night! sorry i didn't thank u properly before, but yeah, really appreciate it :')

sunshine (sunwoo): it was no problem, dw abt it!

your phone: btw is everything okay? u seem a bit distant lately and i wanted to make sure u were doing alright

sunshine (sunwoo): ah yeah, im sorry :( there's just been some things on my mind

You shot Sunwoo a quick text back to let him know you were here if he wanted anyone to talk to. His text had just come in after you'd sent him a reply in the early evening.

"Yn-ah. Still on your phone, I see?"

You jolted and shoved your device into the pocket of your jeans, smiling sheepishly as Lee Jihoon power-walked into the backstage area with a pen behind his ear and a clipboard in hand. "Hi, Jihoon!" You squeaked.

He lifted his eyebrows at you, motioning for you to come follow him. Since everyone was back from Spring Break, the work for the play being performed was kicked into high gear. Jihoon was a graduate student at the university and a director of the stage here; adding the fact that he majored in the same thing you did also made him one of your favorite mentors ever. The back hallways were bustling with costumes, props and other assorted technicians while most of the actors were either in the main backstage area or onstage proper with the play director, HJ!Yn.

You followed swiftly after him and weaved through the people littered about the corridors. "I finished synching the panel back here with the projector in the box," you told him, "though, it's weird that it was ever undone in the first place." You frowned. There had been a lot of strange things happening in the theater lately.

Jihoon gave you a curt nod and set you up in front of one of the house lights panels located in the hallway leading right out to the audience. He pointed at it with the back of his pen. "Yeah, some funky shit's been happening around here," he sighed. "You were here the other night when the speakers were acting weird, right?"

You nodded and let him guide you through navigating this backup panel. "I was. You and Chan seemed really stressed."

"We were," he said, adjusting his cap. "We really do need some more funding to update our equipment—careful, that knob is really sensitive. Good, nice work."

Once you and Jihoon had successfully finished with this panel, you lingered in the hallway for a moment. Normally, you would switch back and forth between shadowing either Chan or Jihoon, and tonight was with the latter. He was going through a couple forms on his clipboard—he must have been reading through them while working tonight.

"You seem distracted tonight, Yn-ie," he said. "Is everything okay?"

Despite being one of the busiest and hardest workers here, Jihoon was also one of the most observant, still. You leaned against the wall next to him, toeing at the floor. "Boys are stupid, right?"

Without hesitation or looking up from his clipboard, he replied, "As a boy, I can confirm."

That made you sputter out a laugh, and you saw him glance up and flash you a smile. When you couldn't find something else to say, he went forth. "I don't know the whole situation, and you don't have to tell me anything. But we guys are a little—" he made a gesture with his hands and wrinkled his nose, "—blind. You probably know that already, but dudes are dumbasses, and sometimes when feelings get in the way, they want to run for the hills.

"But if you think he's worth it, then reach out and be forward with him. And if he cares about you, he'll reach out and be honest," he finished. He let you settle with that thought, let it marinate in your brain to give you something to think about. (As if you didn't have a lot to think about already.)

You pressed your lips together with a slow nod. "Thanks Jihoon."

"Anytime, Yn-ie." He nodded back toward the direction you both had come from. "Let's go back that way, yeah? We've got some more housekeeping to take care of."

— ✶

Sunwoo was in trouble.

"...I thought I'd recommend a song that's been on my mind. I've actually been listening to quite a few Taylor Swift songs recently, especially since she's re-recording all her albums! So here's 'Superstar' from Fearless, Taylor's Version."

He had put your most recent podcast episode on full volume while he made himself dinner. It had been a long day today, and so his automatic thought was to listen to you. But now that he was getting into the meat of the episode, he was quickly coming to realize how much trouble he was in. You were playing the song, and it was a direct call out to him to wake the fuck up.

As the song faded to a close, your voice came back on.

"Actually, I was recommended the song by someone I know," you said in the mellow tone you'd been in for the entire episode so far. "I guess I'm just confused and I was wondering if they really meant what they said."

Sunwoo nearly dropped the egg in his hand onto the kitchen floor. Guilt swirled around in the bubbles of the soup in the pot and he frowned down at the rich, creamy liquid.

He sighed, tapping the egg against the counter and cracking its innards into the pot. "Of course, I really meant it," he said as if you could hear him. He wished he had the guts to tell you everything that was going on in his head… As his soup boiled away, he leaned against the empty counter to wait, cradling his head in his hands, groaning. "You're being unfair, Sunwoo."

"...This one's from Peony! They say: almost didn't realize Rhaps Anon wasn't in the last episode until the very end when we hadn't gotten a rec from them. Hope they're doing okay!" Ah, so you weren't the only one who noticed his brief absence. Your sigh filled the apartment, though, he heard the way you tried to force some kind of cheeriness into it. "Yeah, I hope they're doing okay too. But Rhaps'll be back! Let's all wish them well. Fighting!—"

Oh, man. Now he felt even worse.

He really needed to talk to you. Oh god, he really needed to talk to you. If not to confess, then to clear the air and assure you that all was okay on his end. He was just being a coward, and he knew that well enough now.

When his dinner had finished, Sunwoo turned the flame off and headed for his phone on the opposite counter. He lowered the volume as he went in and pulled up his text thread with you.

sunwoo's phone: hey,, i know ur probs busy w the play this week, but is there a possibility for me to see you sometime soon? i wanted to talk to u abt something

He gnawed on his bottom lip as he awaited your answer, until he realized you were probably working. That made him drop his phone and return to his dinner—maybe he just needed to not look, so his anxiety wasn't so high—

His phone buzzed and he bolted back over.

superstar 💫: i think i'll prob have some time saturday morning

EPISODE ELEVEN: [SOMEONE'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, LOSERS.]

YOU asked Sunwoo if he'd like to tag along with you as you did some grocery shopping before rehearsal on Saturday morning. His answer had been automatic, and you both agreed to meet each other at the bus stop to ride down to the larger supermarket down the hill together. Even as you stood at the corner of your street waiting for him beneath the overhang, you were trying to come up with possible things he was going to say to you. You had figured, when he’d texted you Wednesday night, that perhaps the best way to go about this would be to make this casual. Hence, why you were forcing yourself to go grocery shopping a day earlier than you usually did.

Casual, in this case, called for “you don’t have stare me in the eyes the entire time,” and to be frank, you were a little too nervous for that kind of setting anyway.

You tugged the edges of your cardigan over you as you heard your name being called from the opposing street. Sunwoo was bounding his way over to you with his arm raised in greeting. You returned the gesture with a soft smile. “Hey.”

He stopped by you, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray jacket. “Hi,” he said, licking his lips. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”

The bus slowed to a halt in front of your stop, and the two of you retrieved your transportation cards to board. “You say that like I wouldn’t have agreed,” you chuckled and tapped your card, Sunwoo following suit.

The two of you managed to find a pair of empty seats near the second half of the vehicle where the exit was for an easy departure when you reached the foot of the hill. But for now, you tucked your bag onto your lap and settled into the window seat, while Sunwoo occupied the one next to you.

You turned your head to gaze out the window and watch the world blur by as you did. The Avenue streets were a tad narrower than most around the university, so the bus traveled as efficiently as it could from stop to stop before turning the block to make its descent. It was technically still morning, and though it was spring, the sky had decided to blanket the sunshine with gray clouds to form an atmosphere that reminded you distinctly of the past winter quarter. Except, instead of thin, empty branches, the streets and walkways were encased in darkening green leaves and falling pink petals, a nod to the short-lived cherry blossom season. From the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo’s foot start to tap against the ground like Thumper the Rabbit, and you wondered for the millionth time what was going on in that pretty head of his.

“I don’t really understand,” you found yourself saying—his head swiveled—and you turned to look at him, “did I do something wrong?”

Sunwoo stammered, "What? No, it wasn't you! It wasn't your fault at all—I was just—" he sighed, grimacing to himself. "I was just being stupid. And I know that sounds super vague, but the short answer is that I was being stupid and scared and insecure."

Your brows furrowed and you felt the bus come to a gentle stop at the foot of the hill. "Scared and insecure? What's going on; is everything okay?"

You both got up to make a quick exit off the bus and began making the short walk from the bus station into the outdoor shopping center.

There was a jittery bounce to Sunwoo's steps as well as a tension in his shoulders. "Last week," he began, "Jisung told me that he'd just left you at the practice room and that you were probably going to be there awhile."

You nodded, grabbing a basket at the front of the grocery store. That rang a bell for sure. It had been a very long day in the practice room, so you weren't quite sure what direction this was going in yet.

"Well, I wanted to go surprise you and come hang out with you. You know, like, to keep you company." He started scouring the opposite shelf to you in the dried foods aisle, his eyes nervously darting from the BUY ONE, GET ONE pasta noodles deal signs, to your person. "And when I got there, I saw you and Yangyang."

Me and Yangyang…? Oh, me and Yangyang.

It was like a lightbulb went off in your head, and you stopped pretending to look at the overpriced vermicelli noodles on the shelf behind you.

"And you guys were hugging and close and stuff—and by all means! I—I have no problem with that, of course," he added quickly, "I mean, you guys are really close… friends? And I just saw him lean toward you and left because I… I got the message." The latter portion was delivered in a defeated tone as he looked on toward you helplessly and sorrowfully. It was how Sieun described you Tuesday night when you'd seen Sunwoo at the restaurant: a sad sap.

You both stopped moving down the aisle to face each other. In the white, fluorescent supermarket lights, his hair hung in his eyes like his head in embarrassment. You were going to let him finish.

He cupped the back of his head, suddenly feeling so bare before you despite not being physically naked at all. "I thought some space might distinguish or extinguish my feelings for you," he continued, nose wrinkling and lip curling in a wince. "Clearly it didn't help, and I think overall, I realized I wasn't being fair to you—as a friend. And that I was also being the biggest fucking loser ever."

Wait, you were still reeling from the mentions about feelings—

Before you could even address the aforementioned, you had to make something clear first. You felt the corners of your lips lift. "Sunwoo, me and Yangyang really are just friends." At the confused, puppy-dog look in his eyes, you explained further, "That day, Yangyang came by and I made it clear to him that I just saw him as a friend. I felt really awful for feeling like I'd led him on and was going to lose his friendship."

Sunwoo's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, and he struggled to come up with the response he wanted. "So… so when he was leaning in toward you…"

"He leaned in and flicked my nose, then almost gave me a nosebleed," you chuckled. You'd given him a very appropriate flick to the forehead after that.

His eyes widened at that. "Well shit. Are you okay?" He asked, and you saw his smile slowly begin to make its appearance, the sun peeking through an overcast sky.

"Yeah, perfectly fine," you dismissed with a flick of your hand. "Especially now. But yeah, we're just friends."

There was a surge of relief in his tense shoulders. "Oh, okay."

He trailed after you as you continued to make your way down this aisle in particular to pick up the things that were on your shopping list.

At one point, he coughed, handing you the jar of red peppers you were reaching for. "So no hard feelings, right? I promise it will be totally back to normal!"

"Normal, as in back to before?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yeah! To be honest, Dovey, I was just kind of scared that I had lost my chance after waiting so long. I don't know. And I realized that I was just scared to face that fact."

You gauged his reaction and your own heart thundered in your chest. "Scared to face the fact that you'd lost your chance with me?"

"Well, yeah. I—" He stopped and froze like a deer in headlights. And in any other circumstance, you would have been laughing, but he seemed so distraught by what he just admitted to that you tried hard to suppress your amusement. Tried. "I just said that aloud, huh."

Nodding, you grinned fondly. "You did."

He smiled, cute and flustered, cheeks tinted pink. "You're always too easy a person to talk to," he muttered.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I would've said something sooner…" He began.

Something jumped to attention in your brain. Oh no. "Was I giving you mixed signals?" You pursed your lips like you'd just gotten into something sour. "'Cause I swore I thought my attraction to you was clear. And, like, the thing where I totally began rethinking my thoughts about Yangyang when you came into the picture—"

"Wow, so Changmin was right?" Sunwoo made a face, holding his hand against his forehead. "That's crazy."

"Crazy good or…?"

He chuckled, and you couldn't help but admire the twinkle in his eyes as he did. "Crazy so good."

"I don't think people actually say that."

He whined, "Yah, you can't already be clowning me. Not when I just confessed that I like you."

That made you sober up, but you couldn't say the same for your heart rate. Man, your BPM alone could probably power a bullet train… "I like you, too. I hope that's clear."

There you two stood in the middle of the dried foods aisle with twin smiles glowing on your faces, soft and shared. You didn't know what the BOGO pasta was doing, but it was definitely adding to the atmosphere. You had intended for running errands to distract you from whatever Sunwoo had wanted to talk to you about, but clearly that was not the case—it would have never worked like that. You would be damned to have missed something like this. Not with him.

Perhaps he had made a mistake—he was now apologizing and clarifying and trying. You could hear Jihoon's words of wisdom ring loud and clear in your head. There was something perfectly fine about how this turned out.

"No more mixed signals?"

"No more mixed signals," he agreed.

— ✶

The remainder of your errand run with Sunwoo had gone smoothly, and soon, you were both seated side by side once more on the bus up to the University District. Sunwoo had gotten a couple things for his fridge, too, and so you both sat with your grocery bags by each other and your fingers grazing the other. Ever since you had clarified your position with Sunwoo a little over an hour ago, you had been feeling much lighter, your heart skipping for a different reason. You were back to feeling the giddy excitement you always had around him, and especially since you knew he saw you in exactly the same way.

The two of you shared a laugh as you stepped off the bus and onto your block, grocery bags in hand.

“—I’m being completely serious! Apparently I was just snot-nosed wailing into her shirt about being single and forever alone,” Sunwoo guffawed, grinning wide at you as you both stopped to the side of the walkway. “And Eric was pissed, oh my god.”

“I mean, you just kiss-blocked him; kind of understandable,” you mused.

Sunwoo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Aye, I know. He’s a good guy though. Total loser, but a good loser. He made me hangover soup the next day.”

You let out a laugh, walking slowly with him down toward the entrance of your apartment complex. "That was sweet of him."

He snorted, "A little out of character, but yeah."

"You know," you piped up, "when I was applying and eventually interviewing for the position with Chan and Jihoon, I had no idea what either of them looked like. So I accidentally—woah, shi—"

Somebody coming down the sidewalk toward you crashed into your shoulder and sent you careening toward the sidewalk. Sunwoo swore as you let out a squeak—his arm looping around your waist and hauling you against him to steady you.

He lifted his head in the direction of the person with a glower on his face. "Hey! Dude, watch where you're going!"

"Thanks," you said sheepishly.

He turned to fix you with a smile, and you saw the moment he realized the position you were both in: you pressed firmly up against the side of his body, his arm wrapped around you, your faces so close to one another… He released his hold on you, neck burning as he cupped the back of it. "Heh, yeah. It's no problem. People should just really watch where they're going."

You coughed and nodded your head. "Yeah, for sure."

The pair of you were now in front of your apartment complex once more, reluctant to say goodbye. You wondered if he would ask to spend more time with you, but you had a feeling that he wouldn't want to intrude on your time any longer. It wasn't like he was intruding to you, but it was just a feeling you had about him. He wanted to respect your time.

And, well, you both had groceries to put away.

"So I'll uh, talk to you soon then?" You asked him, holding your grocery bags in front of you.

He peered at you through his lashes. "Definitely."

"This morning turned out way better than I thought it would, to be honest."

"Yeah no, same here," he echoed. "I'm just glad you actually gave me another chance."

You reached over and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "How could I not? I've always believed in you."

That seemed to ignite something inside of him. He jutted his bottom lip out and whined, "Oh my god, you can't just say that! You're so—wah."

You giggled, watching him squirm like he was being jolted by electricity. "Hey man, sometimes you've gotta be straightforward."

"Yeah, I know." He sobered slightly and took a step forward. Your heart clambered around in your chest and rattled your ribcage. There was this look in his eyes that made you glance at his lips—his perfect, plush, pink lips.

You held still, held your whole fucking breath, as he turned his head and kissed your cheek. It was feather-light, barely there, and yet, all the heat in your body seemed to rush to that single spot in a millisecond.

When he pulled away, his voice was soft. "How's that for straightforward?"

EPISODE TWELVE: ONE LOVE SONG CAN'T CONVEY HOW I FEEL FOR YOU, SO HERE'S TWENTY—

SUNWOO imagined that he looked as cartoonish as any man in love could. There had to be hearts in eyes, hearts around his head, hearts on a glittery pink trail that carried him everywhere he went. He giggled to himself as he fished his house keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door to let himself in.

"Oh my god. We've properly lost him."

With a loud, war-like AHHH!, Sunwoo yelped and nearly dropped his groceries, struggling to hold the bags to his chest as he pressed himself against the back of the front door. His apartment filled with high-pitched cackles of delight.

Though his heart was going through about a million cartwheels a second, he managed to force the fear from his eyes as embarrassment flooded his system. He flared his nostrils, frowning and tipping his head against the door. "I hate you guys!"

"You should hate Eric for giving JC!Yn your apartment key," Changmin wheezed, slapping his hands together and rolling around on the living room carpet as he pointed and laughed at Sunwoo's absolute misery. "You should've seen your face!"

Chanhee was on the couch with his legs curled up into his chest as he had his phone out, recording the entire thing. "This one's going in the drunk Sunwoo folder."

"Yah, I'm not even drunk!"

Chanhee shrugged. "It's become your general meme folder now. We should probably rename it."

Sunwoo whipped his head toward JC!Yn, who was seated on the opposite end of the couch with an amused smile on her face. "Noona! Are you just gonna let them bully me like this?"

Her smile widened. "Sorry, Sunwoo, but we didn't think you would miss us completely when you came in."

He let out a loud groan, fragging himself over to the kitchen so he could set the grocery bags on the counter and begin to unload them. "What're you guys doing here anyways? Isn't it Saturday morning? Where's Kei?" He asked, unloading a carton of juice from the bag and slotting it into the fridge.

Kei was JC!Yn's roommate, and the two girls always went on a grocery shopping date every Saturday morning with Changmin and Chanhee. They often made Changmin drive since he had the biggest car, and grocery shopping was an exclusive event that only the four of them were allowed to partake in. Eric, Sunwoo, and even Jacob had expressed distaste at that elitism. One of these days, they were bound to let someone else join… right?

But regardless, that always meant that Saturday mornings were occupied for them. So why were three-quarters of the group currently invading Sunwoo's apartment?

Changmin sat up from his place on the floor and fixed Sunwoo with a grin that made him nervous. "We dropped her off at their place, and we did go shopping this morning, but you'll never guess the curious thing we witnessed while we were there." His giggles sent a doom-like shiver down Sunwoo's spine.

Then it clicked.

Sunwoo abruptly stopped taking dried noodle packages out of the grocery bag. "You're kidding."

A snort from Chanhee. "Oh, you wish."

Sunwoo bashed his head against his sweater-covered palms. "No."

"Yes!" Changmin shrieked.

"I didn't know you guys went to that supermarket!" Sunwoo wailed, throwing his head back toward the ceiling. "You guys saw us?"

JC!Yn rested her chin against her arm as she leaned over the back of the couch to face him. "We heard you, too. I'm glad you decided to own up to your chicken-ness. See? Wasn't so scary after all."

Well, he couldn't exactly agree with that. But he also couldn't disagree with it. He'd been so scared he was about to lose your friendship then for being so insecure for no reason. A simple clarifying question could have saved the both of you so much strife. But the conversation also reaped rewards: your mutual confessions.

He sulked and didn't say anything.

"It was cute though, Sunwoo-ah," said Chanhee with a teasing lilt to his smile.

"And also," Changmin cut in, "what do you mean 'so Changmin was right? That's crazy?!'"

Sunwoo snorted. "Now that, I have nothing to say to."

"So what's the deal now?" JC!Yn asked. "Are you two dating now or…?"

Oh. Another long pause, then— "Oh my god, you didn't ask her out?"

"Hey! Listen!" Sunwoo yelled in an attempt to defend himself.

"We're listening." Chanhee folded his arms over his chest with a less than impressed look on his face. He scoffed. "I can't believe you pull."

"Shut up!"

"He hasn't even asked her out yet—how can he pull?" Changmin quipped back with frenzied gesticulations.

Sunwoo groaned as he flopped over the counter. He couldn't believe he was having such a good morning, and now he was being berated once more for his stupidity. How could he not ask you out? It was right there! The opportunity had presented itself a multitude of times, and yet, why was he still here, dateless?

Then there came the thought of how to go about this. There was a part of him who thought that just asking you was probably fine. But the other part remembered how much he liked you—so texting was simply not an option. It had to have some pizzazz, a bit of oomph, to it.

"We can see the gears turning in your head, Sunwoo," said JC!Yn. "What's on your mind, bub?"

Sunwoo looked up from where he had smattered himself onto the kitchen counter like a pancake. "I have no rizz."

Chanhee coughed. "Well, that's not news."

Sunwoo sent him a scowl. "How should I ask her out? I kind of want it to be special, you know?"

"Hmm." JC!Yn pursed her lips, tapping her chin in thought. "The other day, I was talking to Sangyeon about music or something or other, and he showed me the playlist he'd made his girlfriend—"

"His fake girlfriend," Changmin corrected with a little smirk.

She rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure Lee Sangyeon is not sad enough to make fake playlists for his fake girlfriend." It was a known inside joke amongst the friend group that Sangyeon had a "secret girlfriend" stashed away somewhere. A few of them liked to joke that she either didn't actually exist or that he kept her locked in his laundry machine or something. Mostly, though, they just wanted to know if he actually was single or not. What was the point of keeping her a secret anyway?

The slight change in victim brought Sunwoo's mood up. "What about the playlist, noona?"

She blinked, turning her attention back to her original train of thought. "Oh, right. What if you made her one of those cute, romantic playlists?"

The four of them exchanged glances with one another. It was a silent form of communication, one that had one uniform thought running through the wire.

— ✶

You'd received a text from Sunwoo about thirty minutes ago asking if he could stop by your apartment to drop off something of yours. Apparently, in the madness of the checkout aisle at the grocery store, he had accidentally "stolen" one of your cans of chicken noodle soup.

You hadn't bought chicken noodle soup though.

This was why you now anxiously awaited his arrival for the real reason he wanted to stop by. You had literally just seen him about an hour or two ago, but you'd be lying if you said you were happy at the prospect of seeing him again so soon. Your cheek still seared from his kiss.

As if he could read your thoughts, you heard a loud series of knocks at the door.

"Coming!" You called, hustling over from your living space area and over to the door.

After peeking through the peephole, you definitely saw Sunwoo, but what he was holding was nowhere near the likeness of a can of chicken noodle soup.

In a hurry, you ripped the door open, lips parted at the bundle of bright colored blooms in his hands. Sunflowers and carnations and lilies and roses—

He peered out sheepishly from behind the bouquet with his other hand occupied by his open phone. "Hi," he peeped.

"Hey," you exhaled, a grin fighting its way onto your face.

"If I made you a playlist, would you go out with me?"

You blinked, heartbeat rocketing into high gear. "Sunwoo," you started with a disbelieving laugh, "you don't have to—"

His thumb lowered onto a button on his phone. "Whoopsies, already did it."

Right on cue, you heard your phone buzz from your pocket. Curious, you withdrew it and opened the text message from him with a link to a Spotify playlist entitled: "One love song can't convey how I feel for you, so here's twenty."

You could have melted into a puddle of ooey-gooey goodness. "Sunwoo," you lamented, smiling way too wide now.

He beamed back at you. "What do you say?"

You shook your head, throwing your arms around him as he laughed and hugged you back. "You're so cute. Yes, I'll go out with you."

He gave you a little, warm squeeze. "Oh, thank god. I thought I was gonna die from anticipation."

You laughed and smiled into his shoulder. When you pulled away, your hand gently reached for the side of his face. "What if I kissed you right now?"

His eyes widened a smidge. "What if you wha--"

You cut him off and pressed your lips to his briefly, then pulled back.

"Wait, wait. Come back here," he murmured, chasing after you and crushing his mouth against yours. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect. The feel of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the firmness of his shoulders beneath your grip and the perfect pressure as you both sealed the deal with a kiss.

The two of you pulled away at the same time with labored breaths, foreheads meshed together as you caught your breath.

"You're not gonna turn this into a podcast episode, are you?" He asked, voice low and raspy, yet laced in a playful tonic.

You teased him right back. "As long as it doesn't end poorly."

He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations of his laugh against your lips. "Then I guess I'll just have to make it the best date ever."

"Don't worry," you said with a cheeky hand on his chest, "I believe in you."

With a laugh, he grazed his lips over yours again. "Thanks, superstar."

a/n: hihi!! thanks so much for reading <3 if you enjoyed, i would deeply appreciate a comment, reblog, or an ask to tell me what u thought about it! much love, onto kevin's !!

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @sodafy @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @hibernatinghamster @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @kflixnet

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heeambi · 2 months ago

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The Day dream

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┈┈ start date ﹒ Nov 3rd 2024 ┈┈

┈┈ End date ﹒ not sure ┈┈

!Natty warns!

blood , fangs , supernatural abilities , intense and vivid dreams/nightmare , possessive and seductive behavior of a supernatural character (Sunoo) , possibly 18+

┊ Synopsis: Your life takes a mysterious turn when you encounter Sunoo, a captivating and otherworldly vampire. Soon, you find yourself drawn into a world of dreams, each one more vivid and intense than the last. As y/n becomes engrossed in this dreamlike reality, she begin to question what is real and what is imagined, and whether Sunoo is a dream come to life or a dangerous obsession.

┊ Pairing: Sunoo x female!reader

┊ Genre: vampire au

┊ Characters featured: Heeseung , Jake , and Sunghoon !

┊ tags: To be tagged, please ask or message me if you want to be part of the tag list!⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

╰ ┊ natty’s note: Please ensure that your blog is 18+ before requesting to be tagged.

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ericshoney · 10 months ago

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Stalker Boy ~ Kim Sunwoo (Yandere)

Warnings: Yandere!Sunwoo, Stalker!Sunwoo, obsessive behaviour, breaking in, jerking off to panties, stealing, creepy beahaviour.

Let me know if I missed anything!

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Sat on a park bench was a young man. The man had dyed red hair, large brown eyes and soft plump lips. The man, Kim Sunwoo, looked like a "normal" man, just sitting in the park on a Sunday evening, nothing seemed strange about that. But his intentions were far from normal and sane.

Sunwoo had a dark obsession. He loved someone deeply. Loved to follow that person around everywhere. That person was you.

Sunwoo was waiting for the right time. Being your stalker he knew your daily routines like the back of his hands. What time you get up in the morning, the time you leave for work, where you go most days and even when you go to bed.

So as Sunwoo sat on the bench, his eyes glancing at his watch, he knew it was time soon. He then heard the soft barks of your dog and smiled to himself.

Every evening around six, you went for a walk with your dog, Buster. He even knew the name of your dog. How much he was obsessed with you to know that information.

So as you walked your dog around the park, Sunwoo got up, walking to your apartment block across the street. He knew how long you usually was on a walk and since he had done what he was about to do a few times, he knew well.

He walked up to your apartment door and looked around, the hall was empty, making him happy. He pulled out a small screwdriver, using it to unlock your door and walk in. He smiled, loving the sweet smell of your apartment.

Sunwoo then walked straight to your bedroom, this wasn't the first time he had been in your apartment or your bedroom. He walked right up to your drawers and opened the top one, it had all your panties in.

The man smiled and looked at all the pretty lace garments. Wondering which ones he would steal this time. After a minute of looking, he chose a light blue pair.

Placing them in his pocket, Sunwoo swiftly left your apartment, minutes before you returned, oblivious to what just happened.

Once Sunwoo returned to his own apartment, he rushed to his room, that happened to be full of photos of you, and slipped out his tight jeans, rubbing the newly stolen panties on his semi-hard dick.

"Fuck...Y/n....my pretty girl~" He moaned, staring at your photos he had captured whilst you wasn't looking.

He rubbed the panties over himself, imagining you on top of him. Your pretty smile, sweet eyes. He wanted you badly. It was crazy but he couldn't help it.

"Hmm....Yesss." He hissed, rubbing himself harder.

"Fuck." He then cursed, cumming all over your panties.

Sunwoo let out a sigh and looked at the photo of you on his bedside table, smirking to himself.

"You'll be mine one day, darling~"

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A little request, I hope it's what you wanted! Happy reading~

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop oneshot #request #the boyz #the boyz fanfic #the boyz oneshot #yandere #yandere oneshot #implied smut #sunwoo #kim sunwoo #the boyz sunwoo #xreader #xyou #sunwoo x reader #sunwoo x you #au

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juhakx · 2 years ago

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Sparkle- Kim Sunwoo

Genre: Angst, fluff, royal!au, princess!y/n

Word Count:15.5k

Inspired by. that one vlive where Sunwoo learns the word ticklish <3

a/n happy birthday to the brightest Sun in the entire world, Kim Sunwoo. your eyes truly do sparkle.

Being the youngest child of three was extremely boring when it came to royalty.

“Sangyeon, please escort Yuri out to the gardens before we meet.” Yuri blushes at the King’s command, her hand enveloped by Sangyeon’s when he thinks no one is looking.

“God, they are just–” Chae steals a pastry from the kitchen and twirls, stopping just before her eyes land on Hyunjae.

You scoff, taking the pastry from her hands. “Both of you, completely incapable of procuring any common sense when men are involved.”

You’re pleasantly surprised when you take a bite of the pastry, realizing that it was mango-flavored. Your favorite.

“You’re just saying that because no boy has ever shown interest in you. Nor have you ever shown interest in a boy for that matter.” Chae shakes out of her stupor, eyebrows furrowing when she realizes that her pastry was taken from her hands.

“I will have you know that plenty of people have shown interest in me,” You scoff, crossing your arms. Your mood had instantly plummeted, Chae’s remarks and the fact that you had devoured the mango pastry within seconds being the cause.

It wasn’t that men weren’t interested in you. In fact, you and Juyeon had dated for a whole three weeks. That was until you realized you didn’t like him and merely liked that he would bake you cookies. He realized it too.

Chae’s response is ready on her tongue but she gets cut off. The clock chimes seven, vibrating throughout the castle. The guards begin to escort you to the meeting room as it was the most important day of the week. The weekly briefing happened at the same room, same day, same time, and with, for some reason, the same people.

You. Chaewon. Yuri. Your father.

Discussing the kingdom.

For a Friday evening, the content of today's meeting was even more boring than you expected. The rain was making it difficult for the farmers to create good produce. The neighboring kingdom was getting ready for a spring ball. The trip to acquire more horses was a success. If your father wouldn't scold you for it, you might have even let out a yawn.

Peering down at your fingernails, you can't help but pick at them. Your sister's hands were always painted red but because you liked to help the bakers, it would have been redundant knowing how easily they chip amidst the kitchen.

"King! Your majesty!" A royal guard you were somewhat familiar with, Jacob, bursts through the doors, heaving.

"What is it, Jacob?" The King immediately stands, his eyebrows furrowed. Even you shifted to the edge of your seat, ready for something that wasn't the weather forecast. If a guard barged in without permission, something more significant must be going on.

"We found him."

Immediately, your father straightens his back, a grim look on his face.

"Bring him in."

The doors open wide, two other guards dragging in an unidentifiable male. His curly black hair was covering his eyes, and from the looks of his clothes and the shackles around his wrists, he was either homeless or part of the lower class. He was covered in dirt and from what you could make out, even blood. It made you feel silly sitting on a throne next to your sisters while it was clear that this man was in need of dire help–money, a fresh set of clothes, something better than how he was being treated currently.

"So, you're the thief."

You inaudibly gasp, the reality of the boy standing in front of you settling in.

He had been the topic of many weekly meetings. A thief. First, it started with stealing bread, then it got worse. Suddenly, expensive items from houses were being stolen. Artifacts from libraries. There had been no news of him recently, just that the thievery kept happening. Well, no news until now.

He shakes his head, his hair settling onto his forehead and out of his eyes. You suck in a breath.

He was gorgeous.

His eyes were a pretty brown. Now that you could see them, certain mirth pooled in them. His eyelashes were long, time almost moving in slow motion as he blinked. There was nothing to compare to his bone structure, it was unfair, really.

You snap out of your enamor when he begins to chuckle.

“The one and only,” He smirks.

Chae scoffs from beside you, but you can’t help but examine his face once more. As if he can sense your eyes on him, his eyes snap toward yours.

Your eyes widen, but he doesn’t react. His smirk only widens. When your father realizes he’s looking at you, he walks forward and blocks your view from the chained man.

“If you care about your life even the slightest, then you will look only at me and address me with respect.”

It was times like these when you realized just how intimidating your father, the King, was. He was able to switch from the man who raised you for 13 years on his own after your mother died with so much love and compassion to someone you could barely recognize. He was always cruel when it came to criminals.

“You see, your majesty, when did I ever say I care for my life?” He spits out. Even though there was venom in his voice, the smirk on his face remained.

The King doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, he examines his face as if he was searching for an answer.

“Fine,” The King says, backing away. “Tell me your name.”

Not a question, but a command.

The unnamed man doesn’t respond. You can’t help but mentally plead for him to start listening to your father. He could be a cruel man and there isn’t much you can do if he doesn’t cooperate.

Before you can blink, the King takes his boot and slams it against the thief’s chest, sending him flying backward. The shackles around his wrists remain intact, but the grip the guards have on him doesn’t. He’s closer to the door now and if he wanted to, he could have attempted to flee. But instead, he starts laughing maniacally as he lies on the ground, facing the ceiling. You grimace and look away.

“You have no right to know my name. You treat your kingdom like shit and leave the poor to fend for themselves. A true king would already know the name of his citizens–” He pauses, cocking his head to the side. “Especially one that’s a thief, no?”

Chae scoffs once again and you wish that sometimes she would simply keep her mouth shut. You glance at Yuri on the other side of the King’s throne. Her gaze seemed analytic as if she was waiting to see how this would play out. As the next queen, she must feel entitled to do so. All you can hope is that she sees the truth behind this as well.

He, and many others, were suffering and the kingdom was doing nothing to help.

“Jacob?”

“Kim Sunwoo. Born April 12, age 23. The firstborn with a younger sister, age 11. Both of his parents died when he was 15.”

The thief, who you now know is named Sunwoo, stares blankly at the King’s face. You can tell from where you’re sitting that he’s biting the inside of his cheek as if he was contemplating something.

“Kim Sunwoo, I think you are underestimating my power.”

“I think you’re underestimating how loyal your dogs are.”

Your breathing stops, ready for the King to do his worst. If he just didn’t fight back.

“Fine,” The King pauses, walking up to Sunwoo’s sprawled body. “I declare Kim Sunwoo charged with the capital offense of trespassing on private property, stealing food, jewels, and official artifacts. He is to be hung for his crimes.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Even for the King, this was extreme. He hadn’t even heard Sunwoo out yet, not that Sunwoo pleaded for him to do so. It still wasn’t fair. And it made you sick.

Sunwoo doesn’t react and you don’t expect him to. This seemed like someone who hadn’t been granted kindness before. You wait for Yuri to say something. You had already lost all faith in Chae after hearing her unsaid thoughts earlier. Yuri would say something. You’re sure she will.

You glance over at Yuri but she remains still, her hands clasped over her crossed legs. It’s not until the King mutters something about taking him away that you realize something must be said, and no one would say anything but you.

“Stop!” You find yourself blurting out.

Sunwoo’s head snaps up to you. However, your face remains on the King whose eyebrows raise at your defiance.

“You can not do this,” You dumbly say.

“Oh, I can and I will,” The King shakes his head and glares at you as if to say ‘We will talk about this later.’

Well, what could you lose now?

You stand up. “He’s an orphan, Father–your majesty. He has a younger sister who he takes care of. You can not possibly think death is justifiable for someone who is merely trying to survive.”

If Sunwoo won’t plead, you do.

“Please. I have not asked much from you, your majesty, but I ask you to rethink this.”

It seems to be working for just a second. For just a second, you can see him pondering your suggestion.

“Take him to the chambers. Y/N, I would like to talk to you privately.”

It didn’t work.

Sunwoo’s being taken to the chambers where the guards will prep for execution and then he’ll be hung and it will be nobody’s fault but your own for not trying hard enough.

“Please, Father–”

“I said I would like to talk to you privately!” His voice booms, echoing throughout the room. The guards take that as their queue to leave, taking Sunwoo by his hands and dragging him out much similar to the way they brought him in. His eyes don’t leave your face once.

Yuri and Chae are escorted out as well, but you can’t even focus on the fact that you were now alone with your father.

Sunwoo is going to be executed. He is going to die and all that will be left of his family will be a little sister who no longer has parents or a brother. One who will have to bear the repercussions of your own father’s doing.

“You have made a grave mistake, speaking out like that in front of the guards. You have made it look like I have raised an uncontrollable youngest daughter who does not listen to her father, the King,” He scolds, his voice firm. However, even you know this tone well. His earlier mask was removed. He didn’t sound like the King, he sounded like your father.

“I’m sorry,” You genuinely say. You want to say more, but you don’t. You could say so much more.

Your father waits for a second, looking at you expectantly. “Well? Is that it?”

You burst.

“You’re right, you didn’t raise a daughter like that. You raised a daughter who is compassionate and cares for others and doesn’t dismiss the people of her kingdom when there are so clearly asking for help,” You breathe out. Your chest feels lighter as if you had just let out a secret. Finally, you felt like you were working towards something.

The King thinks for a few seconds, clearing his throat to break the silence.

“I’m trusting you with this. You have one shot. Any further disrespect from you or him will not be tolerated.”

“No.”

“Sunwoo,” You start, ready to beg. You hold onto one of the bars to crouch on the floor opposite his cell. It was dirty and grimy, but you didn’t care. You can bribe the guards monitoring you to not report this back to the King later.

“You do not know me well enough to address me,” He plainly says, staring into your eyes. Seeing him up close, he was even prettier than before. He was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes, but if you could pull this off, he would be able to completely transform not just his wardrobe, but his life.

“Fine,” You huff. “Sunwoo-ssi. Mr. Kim. All I ask is for you to think about it. If you don’t agree, he will execute you and this time it won’t just be a bluff or a cover-up.”

Sunwoo straightens his back that’s leaning against the wall. He uses one of his hands to push himself forward so he was sitting directly in front of you. If the bars weren’t between you, you would be merely centimeters away. You can feel his cool breath fan against your face.

“I will not work for the same kingdom that has put me and my entire family in the situation that we are in. My parents are 6 feet underground because your majesty could not get his head out of his ass for longer than 5 seconds to realize that his people were dying.” His eyes blaze. “Kill me. Hang me. I do not care, but I will never stoop so low as to pretend that I care for the wellbeing of the King.”

You pause, taking in his words. You didn’t realize just how deep his hatred ran for the King. You almost wanted to lash out and explain how your father was nothing like that, but as soon as you took another look at Sunwoo’s face, you couldn’t do it.

“You can leave now,” Sunwoo tilts his head towards the guards as if you couldn’t find the exit on your own.

“I know I’m not the future queen, but I have influence,” You reason, sliding your hand down the bar and steading yourself by placing a hand on the ground. Your calves were starting to burn from crouching, but at this point, it didn’t even matter. “I will talk to the King and Yuri. Tell me what you want to be changed and I will help.”

Sunwoo stares at your face, his eyes searching for something. You feel your heart stop beating when he grabs onto the bars of the cell, his left hand just above yours. He scoots even closer, making direct eye contact with you.

“Why?”

You blink.

“Why what?”

“Why help me?”

You find it getting harder to think with Sunwoo’s proximity, so you shuffle a bit further before taking a breath. Sunwoo quirks an eyebrow at you, amused.

“Well, because I want to,” You state simply. “What good are we doing if there are people suffering in our kingdom?”

You notice a quick flash of surprise pass Sunwoo’s face before he responds. “And what about my sister? Right now she’s staying with a friend, but she can’t stay there forever.”

“She can stay here as well. I am not sure of her interests but if she likes to bake, she could always help the bakers with me or she could help you with your daily tasks. You can bring her here yourself.”

Sunwoo seems appeased by the idea, knowing that there would be a safe place for the two of them to stay.

“But–” You begin, causing Sunwoo to immediately put his guard back up. His face becomes stoic as if the condition you were going to say would counteract everything good you were offering. “I convinced my father to let you go and come back on your own, but that doesn’t mean people won’t be watching your every step. You could–I mean you could try–to flee, but it won’t work. This is all I could do for you and I’m asking you to take advantage of it. The alternative will always be better than death. For you and for your sister.”

Sunwoo’s hands drop from the bars at your words, almost appalled by your honesty. You can even hear the guards shift at your admission. There was no reason for you to be trying so hard for someone you didn’t know, but there was something different about Sunwoo. He could teach you a great number of things, about parts of the kingdom you had never seen before. He could initiate actual change. Whether he knew it or not, his life was worth something greater than simply surviving.

You rise, dusting your hands off on your dress.

When you turn to leave, you hear Sunwoo loud and clear.

“Thank you, Princess Y/N.”

Sunwoo comes back. He comes back three days later with one bag in his left hand and his sister’s hand in his right. You try not to breathe out a sigh of relief but it escapes your lips when you watch him enter past the front gates (which you definitely weren’t watching from your window.)

“I can not believe Father let you do this,” Chae mutters under her breath, working her way down the stairs in front of you. You would have pushed her just strong enough for Hyunjae to break her fall if it wasn’t for your guilty conscience.

Even Hyunjae lets out a hum of agreement as if it was absurd for your father to grant such a request.

“Believe it or not, he has a lot to offer,” You begin, ready to defend Sunwoo.

“Like the stolen items?” Chae snorts, immediately smiling when she sees Hyunjae smile at her attempt at a joke.

“He already returned those,” You stop when Chae does, realizing that Sunwoo would be coming in any moment now. It mildly infuriated you that he would have to see people who belittled him upon his entrance. “Also, I would refrain from speaking ill of him around him,” You fade into a whisper, “Because who knows what could fall from my lips in front of Hyunjae.”

Chae gasps but it’s swept into the air as the doors to the main entrance of the castle open. Though Sunwoo came in with no guards accompanying him, as you promised, that didn’t mean that they didn’t stiffen in his presence.

Sunwoo’s younger sister, Nabi, from what you gathered, seemed to display a million emotions on her face at once. It went from awe to fear to wonder within just seconds. When her eyes land upon you, her eyes widen a little.

“Sunwoo,” You breathe out, unintentionally forgetting there were people all around you. You clear your throat. “Sunwoo, I am glad you made it back safely.”

Even though Nabi was years younger than you, you barely have to lower yourself to speak to her. She seemed to have the same genetics as her brother–tall, black curly hair, tan skin. The similarities were uncanny.

“And who might this be?” You ask, wanting Nabi to introduce herself.

“Nabi. My name is Nabi,” She speaks clearly, her head lifting in confidence. “And you are Princess Y/N.”

You nod your head in assurance, smiling lightly. Nabi smiles back as well, but your attention drifts to Sunwoo. An unfamiliar look crosses his eyes before he shakes his head as if he was breaking himself from a trance.

“I asked her what she would want to do if we decided to come here and she said she would love to pick up baking. I recall you saying you spent some time in the kitchen because you liked to bake as well so I am sure the two of you will get to know more of each other.”

Nabi shakes her head vigorously, agreeing with him on something that seemed only apparent to her. “My brother told me that the one with long hair and darker eyes was you and that you were the kind one who liked to bake,” She continues to nod, leaning in closer to you so only Sunwoo and you could hear her. “He said the one with short hair was mean and to stay away from her.”

“Nabi,” Sunwoo scolds, pulling her closer to his side as if you would take her away from him because she spoke ill of your sister (not that it wasn’t true.)

You glance over at Chae who was watching your every move. At this point, it was just the guards, Sunwoo, Nabi, Chae, and you left. Hyunjae left a bit ago, probably to inform the King of Sunwoo’s arrival.

“What did she say?” Chae immediately stiffens, realizing that you were talking about her.

“She was commenting on how pretty all of us were. She said she liked your hair,” You immediately reply, smiling at Chae. A little white lie won’t hurt. Even Nabi must sense not to correct you because she shyly peeks up from behind Sunwoo and simply nods.

“Oh,” Chae breathes out. “Thank you.”

When the silence begins to settle in, you reach out for Nabi’s hand, gesturing for her to come forward. “Come, I will show you where you will be staying.”

“Nonsense,” Jacob steps forward, holding his hand out. “I can guide them to their rooms.”

“I will show them,” You tightly smile up at Jacob. Though Jacob was a kind guard, you can’t help but remember the time that he spewed out information about Sunwoo’s past in front of the King for him to use against Sunwoo.

Sunwoo’s grip on his bag tightens but he gently releases it once Jacob lowers his hand.

“Yes, Princess Y/N.”

Nabi settles her hand into yours as you begin to lead the way to where the two of them would be staying. The castle itself was gigantic and although you found yourself lucky enough that your father allowed Sunwoo and Nabi to stay here and redeem themselves by working in the castle, he was still wary about Sunwoo’s proximity to your rooms. He pushed for Sunwoo and Nabi to each have their own rooms in a different wing of the castle.

“This place is so big,” Nabi murmurs. You look back to watch her expression and it seems Sunwoo looks over at her too because a wide grin adorns his face.

“Wait until you see the kitchen,” You reply. You hear her shriek from behind you.

Sunwoo laughs and it immediately brings a smile to your face. What a beautiful laugh.

After a few more minutes of walking, you were brought to the rooms Sunwoo and Nabi would occupy.

“This is Nabi’s room,” You open the door, and Nabi immediately lights up.

“Sunwoo,” She stays by his side, tugging at his sleeve. “Am I dreaming?”

“No, Nabi,” Sunwoo chuckles. “Go, check it out.”

Nabi runs into the room, running her hands along everything. The dresser, the bed, the desks. When she opens her dresser, a few dresses litter the inside.

“I was not informed of your size so I gathered some old ones from the three of us. We should be able to get you tailored pretty quickly so everything will fit you.” You pause, “Well, unless you do not wish to dress in clothes like this because I know they can be quite uncomfortable if–”

Sunwoo's hand brushes your arm and you immediately stop talking.

“This is great. Say thank you, Nabi,” Sunwoo calls out to his sister who is off in her own world.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Nabi nearly shouts, taking out a purple dress that used to be Yuri’s when she was younger. “Don’t you believe this would look amazing on me?”

“Go wash up and try it on,” You encourage, nodding your head toward the bathroom. Nabi gleams in response. “I will show Sunwoo where he is staying in the meantime. He is just across from your room so he won’t be far. Call for me if you need any help, alright?”

After Nabi basically kicks the two of you out of her room to utilize her new bathroom and try on her new wardrobe, you close the door to give her some privacy. You turn to face Sunwoo but he doesn’t back away, keeping you trapped against the door.

“Your room is just–” You try, lifting your hand to gesture to the door behind him. Sunwoo stops you once again, placing his hand on your elbow.

“I might regret saying this, but you were right. Nabi, she–” Sunwoo pauses, looking over at the shut door. “She deserves something like this. She deserves something good and I am grateful for you giving me–us, a second chance.”

He glances back over at you and you pause at the sight of his eyes. His once stormy eyes were brighter. Lighter, even. Like beneath the storm peeked just the smallest ray of sunshine. There was something new in his eyes.

Hope.

Nabi was an extremely passionate baker.

That did not mean she was any good.

"How was I supposed to know how much sugar it needed?" Nabi wails, putting her head in your lap when you sit for a break. It had been approximately one week since Sunwoo and Nabi had arrived and four days since Nabi began baking with you.

You hadn’t seen much of Sunwoo around except in passing. After you showed Sunwoo his room, he almost made it his mission not to interact with your family, especially the King. He kept his distance, still upholding his responsibilities. And because the King had a certain vendetta against him, there wasn’t a second where he wasn’t running from one side of the castle to the other, delivering items, restocking cabinets, or even cleaning after meals.

He always took two meals into his room, the other for Nabi who also didn’t eat with the other workers. You wanted to ask Nabi about it, but she didn’t bring it up so you didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. However, sooner or later, you needed to talk to Sunwoo. You needed more information on where to start helping the area he was from.

“Nabi, how did you manage to get flour all over you?” You ask, giggling when noticing the absolute mess Nabi had made. Haknyeon, the main baker, left the kitchen as yours for the night and you wanted to give Nabi some extra help so she could be more comfortable in the kitchen. However, it was evident that more than a night’s work was needed before she could get there.

“Well, looks like Nabi is enjoying herself,” You pause at the voice.

“Sunwoo! Sunwoo! Look what Y/N made,” Nabi gleams, pointing at the banana pudding you made earlier with Nabi. In the process, flour falls from her hands, littering the floor.

“Nabi, can you please wash up,” You ask, reaching for a couple of towels to clean the mess up.

“Let me,” Sunwoo immediately steps forward, taking the towels from your hands before you can argue.

“Sunwoo, you have to try the pudding Y/N made. I tried to follow the steps and it definitely did not taste the same. Maybe the bananas were better in the other batch.”

“Yes,” Sunwoo elongates the end of his word. “That must be it.”

Sunwoo gets up from the ground after cleaning the mess. For someone who had been avoiding your presence entirely, he didn’t show any indifference.

“Thank you,” You nod your head at Sunwoo and he smiles. “You should really have some of the pudding.”

Sunwoo pauses.

It was impossible to tell what was running through his head. He almost seemed uncomfortable being offered pudding.

“Here,” You offer, picking up the pudding and taking a spoon of it, holding it to his mouth. “I know I made it, but I promise in my completely unbiased and honest opinion that it is really good.”

A small smile appears on Sunwoo’s face but he still appears hesitant.

“You don’t have to–” You begin, lowering the spoon. Your lips begin to turn downwards and you’re ready to spin at your heels, highly embarrassed.

Before you can completely lower it, Sunwoo lowers his head and wraps his lips around the spoon. Your mind blanks for a fraction of a second as you watch Sunwoo’s lips move against the curve of the spoon, pulling away.

Even though he backed away, the image of Sunwoo’s closed eyes in your near proximity remained. He must notice too, because he lets out a little laugh, snapping you out of your daze. You finally lower the spoon.

Nabi breaks the silence, her hands finally clean.

“Well, did you like it?”

You turn around, your cheeks flamed. Oh, that was so embarrassing. It would be surprising if you ever showed your face to Sunwoo again.

“It was very good,” The smirk on Sunwoo’s face was evident. God, you would rather he go back to ignoring you. How he went from bashful to confident in seconds was beyond you. “Being fed from the hands of a pretty princess, my how my luck has changed.”

Your eyes widen. You decide to make yourself busy organizing the leftover pudding cups. Not that they needed to be organized, but no one needed to know that. As long as your back was to Sunwoo, you were safe.

“You think Y/N is pretty?” Nabi asks, taking a bite out of a pudding cup she picks up from your tray.

“Of course, Nabi. I think Y/N is very pretty. Don’t you?” Sunwoo talks as if you weren’t in the room and you’re somewhat glad because your face was burning so brightly that if he was addressing you, he might think you were having a heat stroke.

“She is very pretty. Is that why you told me that–” Nabi gets cut off, Sunwoo clearing his throat loudly.

“Now is a very good time for me to make my way to bed. Nabi, you should go to bed soon as well.”

Before Sunwoo can move, you speak up. “Actually,” You begin, “I needed to speak with you.”

Your back was still to Sunwoo so you couldn’t tell his reaction nor even begin to predict what was running through his mind.

“About what?” Sunwoo’s voice goes back to his ‘I refuse to feel any emotion or acknowledge the fact that I’m living here’ tone.

“I wanted to hear your input, you know, about somewhere we can start. To help the others,” You turn.

You watch him let out a breath of relief.

“Tomorrow, at noon. Can you meet me in the gardens?”

Sunwoo hesitates. “I have–”

“I’ll take care of it. You have the day off tomorrow. We need to begin planning,” You smile at him. A genuine smile so he knows you’re being serious.

“Alright,” He breathes out. He repeats, “Alright.”

You arrived 15 minutes before you were supposed to. You told Sunwoo to arrive at noon, but when you arrived, you cursed yourself for coming earlier. It was starting to get extremely cold out, and you wished you had chosen somewhere indoors to have this talk with Sunwoo, but no place was as beautiful as the castle gardens.

That, and after you got permission from your father to speak to Sunwoo, he told you to do it outside so the guests wouldn’t see the interaction. You wanted to say that if the royal guards cared so much at seeing you talk to Sunwoo, they should take a good look at–

“Princess,” Sunwoo greets, causing you to turn around. You immediately flush, or your cheeks were already pink because of the cold, you couldn’t tell.

“Hello,” You greet, sitting down on the bench now that he was there. “Come, take a seat,” You gesture.

He takes a seat on the same bench as you, but you don’t fail to notice how it’s on the opposite end. You found yourself grateful that he wasn’t any closer.

“So,” You begin, turning your head towards him. “I was thinking you could tell me about your childhood, or the way you grew up. Or if you don’t want to tell me, you could tell me about what you saw others going through. I just want to know the best way I can help,” You sincerely say.

Sunwoo nods his head, listening intently to your every word. It takes him a minute of contemplating before he begins.

“Before my parents died, sorry–” He pauses, clearing his throat. “We were never well off, even before my parents died. My father worked in the fields as a farmer and my mother couldn’t work because after having Nabi, she became extremely weak. Almost as if breathing was enough to make her life tiresome.”

You press your lips into a straight line. Sunwoo refused to look at you, staring at the grass as he spoke.

“I tried to help as much as I could, but even then it wasn’t enough. One day, my father came back from the fields, coughing terribly. We thought it was just a cold or, sometimes, when he smoked cigars with his friends, his lungs couldn’t take it but he would recover within days. Apparently, there was a disease spreading among the field workers. My father was one of the first to catch it. You don’t understand Princess Y/N,” Sunwoo turns to you, a wild rage in his eyes. “It spread like wildfire. We all caught it. Somehow, it didn’t hit the younger children as hard. After I recovered, I nursed Nabi back but within days, both of my parents were just–Dead. Gone,” Sunwoo’s voice cracks. “Your King–Your father–you know what he did? He called in for more field workers and burned the bodies.”

Sunwoo’s heaving at this point. God, you want to reach out so badly. Put a hand across his for comfort, but there was nothing you could do to make something like this okay. To know this was happening–to know that your father knew this was happening.

“I had to watch them burn my parent's bodies. I was only fifteen! Fifteen for God’s sake!” Sunwoo gets louder, and not before long, there are tears falling down his face.

“Sorry, sorry,” He repeats, wiping his face with his sleeve. He turned back so you couldn’t face him.

“Do not apologize,” You whisper. Your heart breaks at his admission. You feel tears begin to form in your eyes but push them away. This was something Sunwoo had to carry on his own for years. It would be selfish to cry. “Sunwoo–” You frown. You watched Sunwoo’s shoulders slump.

You scrambled for ways to console him. “I–It’s–”

“It’s okay,” He breathes heavily, turning back to face you. “It was years ago. But if you wanted to know why I–Why I loathe every fiber of the King’s being. Even if he’s provided me with this life, none of it would have ever happened if the conditions he made people work under were safe and provided people with proper care,” A broken smile reaches his face. “You know the rest. I couldn’t care for Nabi and work and still provide us shelter and food and water. So I stole. Then I sold it. And now I’m here.”

His eyes were swollen, and this time you did reach out. You brush a stray hair out of his face and cup his cheek in the process. Another tear rolls by and you wipe it away.

“I know I can’t make this okay, but I will find a way to help. And I will get you out of here. I know how much it must hurt living here and taking orders from–” You pause, not wanting to speak of him. “Give me some time to come up with something.”

Sunwoo chuckles, taking the hand that rested on his cheek into his hands. “Believe it or not, but this isn’t the worst place I have had to live. Not to mention, Nabi loves it here. I don’t see the King often. I tend to get my orders from Sangyeon and all he does is speak about Yuri. I have you to thank for where we are now and though I would take back what happened in a heartbeat, there are worse fates out there. And you were right,” He whispers. “I was very close to becoming subject to one of those. So thank you. For everything.”

You nod, your cheeks flushing once again. Sunwoo’s effects on you were nearly instantaneous.

“You have the rest of the day off, to do as you please. I am sorry you don’t receive more of these days. I know my father runs you rampant.”

A small smile appears on his face. He plays with your fingers that reside in his lap. “I am almost thankful for it. It keeps my mind off things. I also run into you every blue moon, which is most definitely the highlight of my days.”

Your eyebrows furrow, confused. “Me? You avoid me as if your life depends on it, Sunwoo.”

This time. Sunwoo appears confused, tilting his head to the side. You try not to notice that he was still holding your hand.

“Trust me, Princess, I am never avoiding you. In fact, I try to seek you out more days than not.”

Your head falls forward and your lips part. He had to be playing with you.

“Sunwoo. That can not possibly be true. I mean, every time I even look at you you turn your head the other way.”

Sunwoo’s cheeks darken at your words, and you immediately wish you could take them back.

“Oh,” He breathes out. “That.” He lets go of your hand.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to embarrass you or–,” You shake your head, looking for the right words. “You are in no way inclined to look at me, I mean–I do not mean that you have to acknowledge me, besides that sounds absolutely outrageous–”

Sunwoo cuts you off. “You intimidate me,” He admits.

“Intimidate you?” You immediately say, even more confused than before. “Me? I would get it if you said Chaewon intimidated you or even Yuri considering she is in line to become queen, but… Me?”

A shy smile appears on his face. “I can hold myself together just fine with your sisters. Yuri is even kind to me. But…” Sunwoo trails off. “I want to look at you, and trust me, I do. But when you look back–”

Sunwoo gets interrupted by a guard, calling for you. You grimace, wishing you had more time with him. You wanted to know what he had to say even though you had a feeling where he was going. When you looked at him, it always felt like time stopped. Like you were transfixed by the stars in his eyes.

You begin to get up and Sunwoo watches your every movement as you do. Before you leave, you faintly touch his shoulder.

“Sunwoo,” You murmur. He looks up at you. “Thank you.”

The stars in his eyes make a reappearance.

It felt like the darkest night of the year. Everyone knew why. When it felt like it got dark much earlier and sunlight rarely filtered in, it could only mean one thing.

It was snowing.

You watch the flakes begin to fall from your window. Even though it was dark out and many had already gone to bed, you couldn’t help but watch the snow. Winter was your favorite time of the year, the snow reminding you of the memories you have of playing outside with your siblings and parents before everything changed. Before Yuri had to worry about becoming Queen or Chae’s only focus in life being Hyunjae. Before your mother died.

If the timeline added up, you realized that Sunwoo’s parents died right after your mother did. You couldn’t relate to Sunwoo in many ways, but you saw the way your father grieved when your mother died. He became angry all of a sudden. To everyone. The last thing you wanted to do was justify his actions, but it pained you to remember him like that. But it also pained you to see Sunwoo the way you did this past week. God, as if your life couldn’t get any messier.

You had spent the entire week in your room. Contemplating. Thinking. Slowly, a plan began to form in your head. Before you brought anything to your father, you wanted a full-fledged plan ready, all the way down to the minor details. He would have to listen, especially if you got Yuri in on it.

Something pulls at your heart as you continue to stare outside. It had been years since you last played in the snow. It was with your mother. She would throw a mean snowball. The corner of your lips lifts up at the memory.

Before you can think it through, your feet are leading you out your door. Yuri would be asleep, an early morning ahead of her. Chae was out of the question considering you could already hear her complaints run through your head. There was only one person you wanted to see anyway.

When you finally get to the other side of the castle, you raise your hand, ready to knock. It stays there for a second as you contemplate knocking on his door. There was a lot that could go wrong. But, the possibility of him agreeing made your heart surge with hope.

You knock on his door.

When a few seconds pass, you realize he isn’t coming out. You frown, disappointed. He was probably asleep. You turn at your heel, beginning to walk away from his door.

You freeze when you hear the door handle wiggle.

“Princess?” Sunwoo calls out, confused.

When you turn, the first thing you realize is that his chest is bare. You control yourself by looking nowhere but his eyes. You did notice the trousers that seemed to be put on in a rush.

“Sorry–I–” He seemed anything but sorry with a small grin on his face as he watched your eyes accidentally drift below his neck once more. “I was not aware you were at my door. Is something wrong?”

“It’s snowing,” You dumbly say, remaining outside his door.

“I–” He pauses, his eyebrows furrowing. “I know, I saw.”

There was a moment of silence, causing Sunwoo to speak. “Is there something wrong with it snowing? Do you not like snow?”

“I love the snow.”

Sunwoo lets out a laugh at your answer, realizing you were still mildly in a trance. You shake your head lightly, hating the hold Sunwoo’s stomach had on you. It wasn’t your fault, really, considering his chest was extremely defined and it’s not like you didn’t not expect it to be defined but it was much better than how you imagined in your head and his arms also looked really–

“Do you wish to go outside with me?” You blurt.

“Now?” Sunwoo asks, unsure. He leans up against his door, rubbing his left eye.

“No.” You immediately say realizing he must definitely think you’re absurd if he knew you wanted to go play in the snow well past midnight. “I meant– Later..? Or the day after. Anytime. You can. If you want to. That is.”

You feel the earth begin to crumble below you as Sunwoo’s grin transforms into a full-blown smile. “Let me put on more clothes.”

Sunwoo closes the door and you release a breath of air, slouching now that he could no longer see you.

“So embarrassing,” You whine to yourself, shuffling to the wall next to his door to lean your forehead against it. “You are so embarrassing. It is a shock that you are allowed outside of your room. In fact, you are the furthest thing from royalty this kingdom has ever seen. You–”

The door opens to Sunwoo’s room and you back away acting as if the last minute never happened.

“Ready?” He asks, holding out his hand for you.

You smile, letting your worries leave your body. “I will have to lead the way.” You wanted to take Sunwoo through an exit that was unknown to many.

“Lead the way, Princess.”

When your boots first make contact with the snow, you can’t help but smile at the crunch. Outside, the landscape was even prettier than through your window. There was a certain glow that twined the sky because of the snow. You wanted to stick your tongue out like you did when you were a kid and feel the snowflakes stick to your tongue.

You turn to Sunwoo and softly smile, noticing the awe on his face.

It isn’t long until you venture further, feeling the snow brush up against your fingers as you sift through it.

Whether it was the fact that everyone was asleep but the two of you or that you were playing in the snow like little children, neither you nor Sunwoo could stop laughing.

“That is a terrible attempt at an angel,” Sunwoo laughs, pointing at the ground. Underneath the moonlight, his eyes truly twinkled in a way that left you breathless. You couldn’t even bother to jab back at Sunwoo for making fun of the angel you drew on the ground with a stick.

“Try this,” He begins, laying down on the ground. “My mother taught me this. If you just–” He wipes his hands back and forth on the ground and gets up. “Look, an angel.”

You tilt your head to the side, furrowing your eyebrows yet smiling at his creation nonetheless. “It does look like an angel. At least, it does when I tilt my head and then close my eyes.”

Sunwoo gasps, twirling around so he was face-to-face with you. “Take it back!”

“Absolutely not,” You giggle, realizing he was inching closer to you. You run the other way, knowing his intentions.

“Get back over here!” Sunwoo laughs, running after you. You attempt to run through the snow however your nightgown made it extremely difficult to do so. Even though you were used to the cold, you can’t help but shiver as you stomp through the snow. The impending presence behind you was definitely a factor.

The side of the wing you were outside of resided for guests, so thankfully no one could hear you shriek as Sunwoo grabbed your hand, causing you to twirl around.

Sunwoo lets go of your hand way too quickly for your liking and you can’t help but frown when he does.

“Caught you,” He whispers, smiling up at you through his lashes. “An apology is definitely in order. My angel was beautiful.”

You stutter, feeling panic begin to arise at his proximity. He looked so beautiful underneath the moon that it was almost criminal. He brought his hand up, brushing his curls out of his face. “Beautiful, yes.” You breathe out.

When Sunwoo laughs, you’re almost offended.

“Stop!” You complain, pushing him slightly. “You are so unfair. And–And–Stop doing that!” You turn around, crossing your arms across your chest and frowning.

Sunwoo ceases laughing after a moment and he gently holds your elbow, nudging you. “Stop doing what?”

“Your eyes,” You move forward, out of his grasp. You flail your arms out, annoyed. “You–Your eyes have–You always–They are pretty. And you look at me and they sparkle.”

You cover your hands with your face, realizing you were making absolutely no sense and were definitely making a fool out of yourself. You feel him move from behind you, his body heat traveling in front of you.

He takes one of your hands off your face first, bringing it down and holding it. He repeats the same motion with your other hand.

He does it again, that stupid thing with his eyes where they twinkle with something that you just couldn’t put your finger on. It was infuriating because there was no reason for you to find this grown man cute but, you do. He was cute but also beautiful but also pretty and it was infuriating.

“Sparkle?” He questions, a grin on his face. “What does that mean?”

You begin to shy away, thinking he’s making fun of you again but the tilt of his head and the glint in his eyes makes you understand that he’s being genuine.

“Stars, in your eyes,” You try to explain but it comes off as more of a question than a statement.

He hums, nodding his head. He lets go of your right hand, brushing a hair that fell in front of your eyes. You pause, holding your breath as if you were afraid to move.

“If they s-sparkle?” You nod your head, encouraging him with the word. “It is because I am looking at something so bright.” He smiles, letting go of your other hand as well.

Before you’re even given a second to breathe, Sunwoo backs away. “It is getting colder, you should go inside and get some sleep.”

You nod your head, hoping that he can’t hear the rapid beating of your heart.

You sneak back in, Sunwoo diverging from your path when he gets to his room, leaving with a lazy smile and a quiet goodbye. When you arrive at your room, you change out of your clothes and lie in your bed, a smile on your face the entire time.

Books littered your bed. You continued to flip through them hoping for something that you could make for Yuri’s birthday that was coming up. There were plenty of cooking books in your library but you had flipped through most of them already with it being a tradition that you bake something every year for your sister’s birthdays. Between figuring out a plan to bring up to your father and Yuri’s birthday, you’ve been extremely busy.

You groan, hitting your head against the bed as you sat on the ground, closing yet another book. When you hear a knock at the door, you call for them to come in, helping yourself up off the ground.

“Princess Y/N.”

You visibility stutter, looking up to see that Sunwoo was the one who had entered your room.

“Sunwoo,” You breathe out. “Hello.”

“Hello,” He greets, peeking behind you and smiling at the disaster that was your bed. “Doing some light reading?”

A blush arises on your face. “Well, I have to figure out what to bake for Yuri’s birthday. She’s having a ball in a couple of days and I was going to choose something to serve at the party.”

Sunwoo nods his head, a spark of realization running across his face. “Your father sent a letter earlier? I believe. I was supposed to retrieve it.”

You blink, trying to remember what he was talking about. It didn’t help that as usual, Sunwoo looked devastatingly handsome. He was simply wearing a white tunic, but there was something about the shirt that made him stand out.

“Oh! Yes, it’s right here,” You turn, aiming for your nightstand before you realize that if you give the letter to him right away, he would leave and you wouldn’t get to speak with him. “Actually, I was thinking earlier.”

“Well that can not be good,” Sunwoo laughs. You roll your eyes, turning back around to face him. You step a little closer.

“This is something that may be of interest to you, Kim Sunwoo,” You pause, smiling at him fondly. “I have a plan.”

“What about?” He questions.

“I had an idea for helping the farmers and the others in your area,” You pause, waiting to continue. When he gives an approving nod, you begin.

“I wanted to start with providing the extra produce and food to those who need it. Just as something small. And then, maybe building a few safe houses of sorts with extra food and water. Someplace people can just stay if they need it. With an area for people who need medical attention as well. I was thinking–” You move your way around Sunwoo. You can’t help but be animated, your hands gesturing the extent of your plan. “I was thinking we start by hiring people who need work to run it along with some of our own staff to ensure everything’s being run smoothly. And then others can help farm the food for the shelters and help build them too. Obviously being paid for their work because it would feed into our own economy but also help them and–”

Sunwoo’s smiling so wide that you have to stop yourself from talking. You must be making a fool out of yourself, yet he doesn’t stop you once or laugh.

“Sorry, I haven’t discussed this with anyone yet. I just started thinking about it. But, I think it’s a place to start,” You breathe out.

Sunwoo takes a step forward, his hand brushing up against yours. “I think it’s a great place to start.”

It was almost like you were oblivious to the fact that your heart was beating so fast in Sunwoo’s presence but you were so aware now that it nearly hurt to think about it. Sunwoo made no further advances, instead staying rooted in his spot with that stupid loving wide smile on his face and you’re sure if he didn’t back away now, you were going to do something stupid like kiss it right off his face.

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” Sunwoo says, breaking the silence.

You furrow your eyebrows at the admission. He didn’t think you had it in you to come up with something like this? You promised you would help and you hadn’t even done much to actually help yet.

“Your standards for what you think I can do must be really low, then.” Though you say it jokingly, Sunwoo must notice the hint of insecurity behind it because he searches your eyes before taking a step forward and taking your hand in his.

There was no way you were going to make it out alive from this.

“That’s not what I meant. I think you are capable of great things, but I have to admit that you don’t fit the perceptions I had of you in the beginning.”

“And what were they?” You question, tilting your head to the side. Sunwoo squeezes your hand as if to assure you. You wonder if his heart was as beating as fast as yours.

“How about I tell you what I think of you now?” Sunwoo takes a step closer, his warm breath fanning against your face. Your eyes widen at his proximity and Sunwoo must sense your unease because he squeezes your hand again before grinning.

“What do you think of me now?” You whisper.

“I think you’re not what you seem. I think people expect you to be docile and obedient and sit there and look pretty. And oh, how well you do the latter,” Sunwoo breathes out, letting go of your hand to trail his finger up your arm. It’s the most you’ve ever heard him say at once and you don’t interrupt him, not even the goosebumps arising on your skin diverting your attention. “But there is so much life in you that it is physically impossible for you to keep it contained. You burn, Princess. You burn so bright that I think it’s stupid that I ever thought differently.”

“Sunwoo,” His name comes out shaky from your lips as if you couldn’t get ahold of it properly. So you repeat his name, firmer this time.

“Hmm,” He hums, his eyes taking in every part of your face.

“What are you doing?” You blurt out, mentally cursing yourself when Sunwoo takes a step back, assessing the situation.

“Ah,” He exhales. “I’m sorry. I seemed to have crossed a line that I shouldn’t have.”

Sunwoo continues to back up, in clear disarray.

“Sunwoo,” You call again as he turns his back to you, ready to leave your bedroom. “I never–I never said you were crossing a line.”

Sunwoo expels a breath at that, turning back around relieved. You shoot him a small smile because, in the end, you understood where he was coming from. Way too quickly did Sunwoo infiltrate your thoughts, and how badly you wanted him to cross much more than just this imaginary line he had in his head. But before he could do that, you needed something definite. Something that proved Sunwoo wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

Sunwoo chastizes himself. “I seem to lose myself around–” He pauses. “Pretty. Faces.” He grimaces at his own words, and you were glad that even Sunwoo could make a fool out of himself.

You let out a laugh.

“I thought I was more than just a pretty face?”

This time, Sunwoo laughs. A real laugh, one that leaves his cheeks littered with a pink blush.

A sudden knock disrupts your time with Sunwoo. You want to open the door and tell whoever it is to dare and knock on your door again, but Sunwoo backs away. He picks up the letter from the nightstand before looking at you one more time.

“Just so you know,” He pauses, smiling. “My heart’s burning too. For different reasons, of course.”

It was becoming a regular thing for you to see Sunwoo around. He made frequent trips to the kitchen, trying out what you and Nabi had created. Nabi was also slowly getting better, and her presence in the kitchen less of a hazard. Now, you could joke with her about how truly terrible she was in the beginning. With Yuri’s birthday in two days, the two of you worked diligently in getting the pastries ready and they were finally topped and refrigerated.

It was a long day and your father was out, leaving just the three siblings to eat dinner. The guards never ate with you and neither did the staff, which left you to sit as you watched Sangyeon and Hyunjae talk to your sisters from the sidelines as you ate.

Today, however, you invited Nabi and Sunwoo to eat with you guys. Sunwoo was hesitant at first, but Nabi begged at his side, wanting to see what the dining hall looked like. Sunwoo could never say no to Nabi, which you were now regretting as you all sat at the table.

“Nabi, how is baking going?” Yuri asks, a small smile on her face. Though Yuri rarely acknowledged Sunwoo’s presence and Chae visibly glared at him every time he walked by, the two of them adored Nabi.

“Good! I truly enjoy it so much.” The smile on Nabi’s face is enough to get you to ease up.

“You know how I told you I was looking into something you can do in your free time? Well, I’ve been speaking with the King about getting you some educational lessons as well when you’re not baking. What do you think about that?”

Nabi gasps in excitement and you’re glad that there was someone who cared for Nabi in the same way that you do. You were unaware that Yuri was encouraging Nabi when nobody was looking.

Even Sunwoo sends a grateful smile aimed at Yuri. She shyly smiles back.

“Well, as long as we’re focusing our effort on Nabi, I think our resources are allocated in a beneficial manner.” There’s a tone in Chae’s voice that has you on high alert. You could tell where this was going.

Sunwoo doesn’t say anything but you can see his jaw clench as he takes another bite of his bread.

You now wish that he was closer than he was. The one problem with having a large dining space was that there were enough chairs for nearly a village. You sat next to Yuri while Chae was on the other side of her. Sunwoo and Nabi sat opposite the three of you with Sunwoo directly across from you.

You wished he was next to you so that you could console him better than a reassuring glance. You wanted to put your hand atop his or even intertwine his fingers with yours. Something that reinforced your presence.

“It would be useless to spend time and money on an educator on someone who–Oh, I don’t know–dabbled in, thievery, for example.”

“Chae,” You snap, dropping your fork onto your plate. “Stop.”

“Oh, please.” She turns to you, rolling her eyes. “One would think you wouldn’t make the mistake of defending a thief twice. What kind of image are you portraying to your kingdom?”

“Can we please just enjoy our meal?” Yuri begins, annoyance laced in her tone.

You remain quiet, looking up. There’s a frown on Nabi’s face as she watches Chae. You glance over at Sunwoo. He seemed indifferent but you could clearly see the resentment in his eyes.

At your lack of commentary, she instigates once again. “Don’t tell me you feel something for this insipid–”

“That’s quite enough,” Hyunjae interrupts from behind Sunwoo, his position at the door wavering. He takes a step forward. “Chae.” A warning flashed across his face and Chae leans back into her chair, Hyunjae using her name in front of everyone being the thing that stopped her from continuing.

Sunwoo abruptly gets up, motioning to Nabi. He doesn’t say a word but she gets the hint, getting up and taking her half-eaten plate with her. When they’re seconds out the door, you push up out of your chair as well.

“I have met dogs more behaved than you,” You mutter. “Next time I expect common courtesy and respect, I will make sure not to expect you to be there.”

Once you leave the dining room, you search for Sunwoo but it doesn’t take long as he latches onto your wrist from where he was hiding behind the door.

“Sunwoo, I’m so sorry–”

“Thank you.”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “For what?”

He lets go of your wrist, cupping your face. Your cheeks flush, overwhelmed by the sudden proximity.

“For defending me. For being so kind,” His eyes flicker between your eyes until they finally rest upon your lips. Like he knows that he shouldn’t, his eyes flutter closed, leaning his forehead against yours. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest. You were proud of being the one to elicit such a reaction from him, but you don’t think you’re faring any better. He seemed to be at war with his thoughts, trembling. “You make me so weak, Princess. So, so, weak.”

And as if the words freed him, he lets go of you, backing up.

“So weak,” He repeats, one more time before turning around and retreating to his bedroom.

Yuri’s ball was tonight. Typically, you loved dances. They were a night where you could dance, laugh, and enjoy yourself without having too much attention on you. Tonight, however, as you prepped yourself for the ball, you couldn’t help but frown as you waited for the help you asked for to arrive. It was foolish, standing in front of the mirror with your corset wrapped around you, but you couldn’t tie the strings properly. This seemed like the breaking point of your week considering how yesterday went. You didn’t even want to think about what happened.

You talked to the King. To your father. As much as it felt wrong to retell Sunwoo’s story, you had to. The pain behind Sunwoo’s words was real and you had to make the King see.

And so you did.

He admitted his faults, which was surprising for you and for all of those present in the throne room that Friday evening. He ended the weekly meeting early after you declared his faults in front of your sisters and the guards, and as much as you thought he was going to yell at you when he dismissed the meeting, instead, he apologized.

Which was shocking for all.

But the most shocking part of it all was how easily the King realized your fondness for Sunwoo. Your mind flashes back to his words.

“Y/N, I hope you do not take my mistakes in the past as a way for you to become careless. I have vowed to make things right, but you have grown too close to Sunwoo too quickly. Sunwoo was and always will be a thief. Until he makes amends for his mistakes and shows that he is capable of something greater, I do not want you speaking to him.”

You begin to interrupt him, but he cuts you off.

“I will look into your request, but if you wish for him to remain in this castle, you will distance yourself from him.”

It nearly repulsed you to listen to his words. The same Sunwoo everyone made out to be a villain was so gracious and kind and loving. You thought back to last night and how you didn’t want to think it in the moment, but you wanted him to kiss you. Just the thought of him doing that now after your father’s warning released a visceral reaction in your head–a pounding that you swear could only heal if Sunwoo actually put his lips against yours or if he once again, like last night, stuttered his weakness centimeters away from your face.

A knock disrupts your thoughts.

“Come in.”

It was supposed to be a maid, one of your sisters, anyone but who actually knocked on the door.

“Hello, princess,” Sunwoo grins. You can spot him from behind you in the mirror and you watch his grin falter as he scans your body. He acts, however, like yesterday didn’t happen. You don’t encourage him, letting yesterday fall to the back of your mind.

“I thought you were someone else,” You breathe out, holding tightly onto the strings of your corset behind your back. Your frown grows just a little deeper. Your hair was brushed off to the side, exposing your upper back. You felt trapped. If you made any sudden movements now, Sunwoo would think you were averting yourself from him which is the last thing you want right now. However, it’s what your father would want–would advise. His words repeat in your head.

Being around Sunwoo was suffocating, and all you could think about was him.

“Sorry to disappoint,” He scans your body once more, taking a step closer.

“I needed–I need help,” You clear your throat. “With the strings.”

“Do you wish for me to do it?”

You contemplate all the possibilities of how this could go wrong. Someone could walk in. Your father could find out that you didn’t listen to him.

The moment of hesitation causes Sunwoo to clear his throat, readying to exit.

“Yes, please,” You murmur.

You watch from the mirror as he makes his way forward, an undecipherable expression on his face.

His hands brush up against your bare upper back, his hands straying from the strings. Starting from the top, he trailed his finger down your spine down to the beginning to where the strings started. Goosebumps arose on your skin and the only sound that could be heard in the room was the two of you breathing.

“You must realize how hard it is for me to contain myself around you. You make it so hard for me.”

His fingers finally move to lace up the strings.

When he pulls, you swallow, your mouth suddenly feeling dry.

“What do you mean?” You whisper.

When Sunwoo doesn’t answer, you don’t say anything else, almost afraid that if you said something, it would break whatever barrier he had up. Whatever walls you had surrounded yourself with. Somehow, you knew that if either of you made another move, there would be no going back.

Your father’s words repeated in your head once again.

When Sunwoo finishes, you realize that Sunwoo’s not moving. He was letting you decide where this was going next. You could either thank him and let him leave, or act on the one thought that has been plaguing your mind since you first saw Sunwoo.

You turn, facing him. Your faces are mere inches apart. If you wanted to, you could lean in and finally kiss him. After all, it was your decision to make. Sunwoo was leaving it up to you.

“If you wish for him to remain in this castle, you will distance yourself from him.”

“Thank you,” You say, looking into his eyes. His intentions were clear after those two words, backing away so he can head for the door. You wouldn’t have noticed his disappointment if not for the way he blinked before he moved away as if he was breaking out of a stupor.

“Sunwoo,” You call out before he can turn his back to you. You had made up your mind to let him go, but it felt wrong with the way he was leaving.

“Don’t do this,” Sunwoo shakes his head. “You thanked me, now I’m leaving.”

It was as if he was trying to convince himself that this was for the better. You didn’t want him to think you were toying with his emotions, but even you felt torn.

“Kiss me,” You blurt out. It was the opposite of what you were supposed to be doing. You were supposed to distance yourself from him, but even now, the few feet he was standing away from you seemed too far for your liking.

When Sunwoo doesn’t move, his eyes wide at your request, you plead, “Please.”

That has Sunwoo moving across the room, closing the distance between the two of you in seconds. He cups your face in his hands and crashes his lips against yours. This was what you had been waiting for. There was no other moment in your life that could be compared to the euphoria you felt when Sunwoo’s lips were on yours.

He doesn’t waste any time, trailing his hands down from your face so that they’re on your hips. Your hands rested against his stomach, the same one you had been dreaming about since the night you knocked on his door and he answered, shirtless.

He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. “Is this okay?”

You nod, kissing him again as he lowers his hands beneath your thighs, lifting you up. He pauses to bite your lip, causing you to gasp against him. He smiles, “Words, Princess.”

“Yes–Yes, this is okay,” You breathe out.

Sunwoo lays you down on the bed and as he latches his lips onto your neck, you feel your breathing begin to heavy. His shirt rides up as he moves down to your collarbones, kissing down. You try so hard to contain yourself but feel your resolve begin to quickly crumble when you feel the first brush of his bare stomach against your hands.

“Can I–” You begin, wanting to finally feel him, but Sunwoo cuts you off.

“Yes,” He breathes out, kissing back up your neck so that he is face to face with you. “Yes.”

He’s kissing you again and you only wish he wasn’t so you could see where you were touching. You moved your hand further up, pushing his shirt higher until you could feel his chest against you. When you rake your nails against him, he parts, gasping.

“We should–You should,” His eyes dart between yours and the door. “You should finish getting ready for the party. For Yuri.”

You furrow your eyebrows when he pulls his shirt back down, darting for the door.

“Sunwoo–” You begin.

“This was a bad idea,” He mumbles, exiting the door as quickly as he got up off you.

When Chae comes to get you later, you claim to be sick. You make an appearance for the part of the ball where Yuri cuts her cake and tries the pastries you made for her, but when you retire to bed early, you truly do feel sick when seeing Sunwoo unbothered and attending to the guests.

Distancing yourself from Sunwoo came easily after that. Not only because you were extremely embarrassed and didn’t want to face him, but because Sunwoo was nowhere to be seen. Nabi still spent time in the kitchen, finally honing in on becoming a pretty decent baker. She still talked to you as if nothing happened between you and Sunwoo, so you wonder if he even told her anything. It was better this way anyway considering if he did tell her something, it would most likely be to stop spending as much time with you.

Your father was more than happy. It was almost like the two were inversely related–your happiness and how everyone else was doing. However, you couldn’t complain knowing that he finally began working on your request to help the villagers. The construction had started a couple of days ago and you and Sunwoo were supposed to ride into the site to see everything. You obviously weren’t going to be alone. The King had multiple precautions in place including putting Juyeon in charge of the visit with strict instructions.

It didn’t matter. The last thing you wanted was to be alone with Sunwoo.

“You look miserable,” Juyeon says once he enters the carriage. The ride would take approximately an hour, and you were grateful that you overheard your father telling Juyeon to take his place in the carriage. The smaller carriage typically seated two and although you felt bad for seating Sunwoo with the rest of the workers, you knew that even if you wanted to, the King would never allow Sunwoo to sit with you.

“You have such a beautiful way with words to this day.” It had been a couple of months since you last saw Juyeon and although there was the awkward period of time where you guys tried dating, that never changed the friendship between you two.

“Y/N,” Juyeon states. The carriage finally begins to make its first movements forward and you hope that Juyeon won’t force you to speak with him for the entirety of the trip.

“Yes?”

“Look at me.” Something about the way he said it caused you to actually look over at him. You don’t fake a smile or pretend to be anything but you truly were–in a constant state of embarrassment and sadness.

“Do you want to explain to me why the King has detailed instructions on why I am to keep you far away from Kim Sunwoo?”

You turn your head at his name, not wanting your face to give anything away. Juyeon doesn’t let you stay like that, taking his hand and turning your chin towards him, making you look at him.

“I am sure that the King gave you his reasons. Told you that he was a thief,” You mutter. You found yourself saying thief with malice, unknowingly defending Sunwoo even when he wasn’t here. Even when he wouldn’t care for it.

“Does he have any reason as to why your hands have been shaking for the entirety of the time that I have been in here? Or why I was able to notice your eyebags and how I can physically see your eyes drifting out of focus.”

“Juyeon–” You sharply state. “I am fine. I am well. You have no business looking for something that doesn’t exist.”

Juyeon scoffs. He was always like this. He was stubborn and never backed down. It’s why you were able to be friends with him after all this time. He always gave you the truth.

“You can’t fool me. I care about you. I always will,” He takes your hand in his. “I’m not looking for something that doesn’t exist, I’m seeing something that exists and could be so good for you and watching you turn it into something that’s hurting you.”

“You don’t understand, Juyeon. The King–” You begin.

“You know what I have to say to the King?” Juyeon smiles a smile that you hadn’t seen in a long time. The same mischievous smile he would get when you were kids and he knew he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

He lets go of your hand.

“Stop the carriage!” Juyeon yells out. You blink, confused.

Juyeon exits, talking with the person riding the horse. The bigger carriage behind you stops as well, carrying the rest of the workers. You watch Juyeon smile, turning around and winking at you before making his way past. Your eyebrows furrow.

It’s not until you see someone climbing out and Juyeon taking his place do you realize what he was doing.

“Oh, if the King finds out about this, we’re both dead Lee Juyeon,” You mutter, watching Sunwoo hesitantly walk towards the carriage. You turn back around, hoping to seem unaffected by staring ahead.

“I was told to be seated up here. Something about knowing the terrain better..?” Sunwoo, although confused, waits for your permission before entering. You nod your head, not knowing what else to do.

You stay silent from his entrance up until the carriage begins to move again.

Sunwoo is the first to break the silence.

“So, who was that?” He asks with an awkward lilt in his voice. You shake your head, annoyed.

“Juyeon,” and just to make him angry, you continue. “Chaewon claims we’re going to get married.”

Sunwoo stiffens. “Oh, does she?”

“I’m sure we will. The men I tend to be interested in do not seem to reciprocate, so it only seems fair to arrange to marry him.” This is exactly why you didn’t want Juyeon to leave you alone with Sunwoo. You didn’t have enough time to practice like you didn’t care about Sunwoo or what he said to you.

Sunwoo’s sharp intake of breath makes you realize that you definitely crossed a line.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, I should not have said that. Juyeon is just a close friend.”

“Princess–”

“Listen. We should agree to just be civil with each other,” You turn to face him for the first time since he entered the carriage. It takes everything not to tear your eyes away. He was still the same, beautiful Sunwoo. “I understand that you do not want anything to do with me, but I have a standard to uphold so a little civility is needed.”

You don’t expect Sunwoo to argue, and he doesn’t.

It’s quiet once more.

“Your hands are shaking,” Sunwoo points out after a moment of silence.

“Sorry,” You mumble, clasping your hands together. Juyeon was right.

You notice him continue to stare at your hands, so you attempt to change the topic.

“Nabi has been doing really well. She seems to enjoy baking as much as I do. Soon enough, she will be able to–”

“I do not know who told you that I do not want anything to do with you, but that is not true,” Sunwoo interrupts.

The air suddenly feels colder, not helping the fact that you are visibly shaking now, almost like it extended from your hands to the rest of your body.

“You did, Sunwoo. You told me you did not want anything to do with me,” You blurt, turning to him. “We kissed. And then you turned away like you were disgusted with what you just did. You said that you should not have done that and then never spoke to me again. Tell me, does that sound like you want anything to do with me?” You whisper.

“I’m so sorry,” Sunwoo whispers back, placing his hand against your cheek. “I’m sorry. I want everything to do with you. I–” It looked like he was fighting with himself. “I tried so hard, but I can’t pretend anymore.

It’s only when you feel his hand on your face that you’re able to relax. You close your eyes, leaning into his touch.

“I’m tired, Sunwoo.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” He repeats. When you open your eyes, his eyes are searching your face. He leans in, softly placing a kiss on your forehead. He was still cupping your face and you held onto his wrist, hoping to be just a little closer to him.

“I wanted to apologize the moment I said it,” He whispers against your skin. “When I entered your room, I was just responding to the request for help you called for, but as soon as I saw you,” He pauses, his eyes searching yours to help convey the words he left unsaid. “Your father pulled me aside before the party and told me that I was to not speak to you anymore. If not, the terms were over and I would not be allowed in the house anymore.”

You try to pull away from his touch, shocked by his statement.

“No, it’s okay,” He reassures as you begin to argue. “I’m done pretending. I hurt you and that is something that I will have to live with. I don’t intend to hurt you again.”

He looks into your eyes, the same sparkle in them that you loved so dearly.

“Let him kick me out. At least I will leave knowing that I got to know you.”

The first order of business once you were back from the visit was the weekly meeting.

And within that weekly meeting, you were going to tell your father about what Sunwoo liked about the construction and what he didn’t.

The both of you agreed that there was no point in risking his safety, so you were extremely careful sneaking into his room at night. It was easier to get to his side of the castle without getting caught than risking Sunwoo being in your room.

It was annoying, being in a constant battle of wanting to be with Sunwoo and then going behind your father’s back. But, there was no denying that you were falling for Sunwoo. You’re sure that if the King knew the real Sunwoo, he would be just as thankful for him as you were. Not to mention, the positive publicity your kingdom was getting thanks to the renovations that were occurring. Sunwoo was bringing so much light into the kingdom.

As you did any night you couldn’t clear your head, you were baking. You were almost done with your batch of muffins when you hear someone clear their throat.

It was Chae, in her riding gear. If there was someone Chae loved more than Hyunjae, it was her horse. Like baking was your therapy, riding was hers.

“Going out?” You question. It was difficult, conversing with her. After that ill-fated dinner, you barely regarded her. However, even you knew better than to disrespect your older sister, even if she deserved it.

“I just came back, actually,” She trails off, her eyes wandering through the kitchen. It was almost like she was looking for something, but there was nothing in the kitchen that was of interest to her to begin with.

“What are you looking for?”

She places her hands behind her back, rocking on her heels. “Oh, you know, just seeing if there was a 5 foot 10 man with black curly hair and really wide eyes hiding in here.”

You furrow your eyebrows. Was she onto you and Sunwoo? And why did she seem almost… shy?

“No, I have not seen Sunwoo–Chae, what is this about?”

“Baekgwang, he… I went riding without Hyunjae–don’t tell him that–and I guess I must not have been paying attention but Baekgwang ran off and Sunwoo…” She trails off as if she expects you to know the rest of the story.

You shake your head, annoyed. “Chae, please. Did something happen to Sunwoo?”

“He was out there, tending to the garden out there and he got on Yuri’s horse and brought him back. I was looking to see if maybe, he was here. To tell you what happened or–”

You realize what she’s insinuating, but Sunwoo wasn’t like that. Sunwoo did good deeds out of the kindness of his heart, not to gloat or brag to you so that he was favored.

“I have not seen him, but if I were you, I would thank him,” You shrug.

Chae clears her throat, stepping forward. “I did. Maybe he’s–” She pauses.

“He’s not as bad as I thought.”

She turns to leave, but quickly adds something else before she does.

“I saw you both. In the gardens last night before I went out to ride. He looks at you as if the entire world could be seen by looking into your eyes. I think–I think you should tell Father.”

You pause, slightly concerned that you were spotted so easily, but almost glad that it was Chae.

You purposefully face away from her, taking the muffins out of the oven and moving them to the countertop. “It doesn’t matter. Father said he wants me to stay away from him. He doesn’t care that–”

You pause, fiddling with the muffins. To stall, you break a piece off and chew on it. All your attention was on the muffin that you don’t notice Chae getting closer and putting a hand on your shoulder.

“Doesn’t care that what?”

You take a shaky breath, admitting it aloud for the first time to someone other than your own mind.

“That I’m in love with him.”

A week passes since that night. Things have been both the same and different. Still, you snuck out when you could to see Sunwoo. Those were the times you were the happiest. His presence was comforting and warm. You even call him “Sun” now, a nickname that always makes him blush. To avoid the King, you rarely mingled in the public eye, but Chaewon and Yuri had entered the kitchen many times as Sunwoo was “strolling on by.” Chaewon was definitely acting differently. She didn’t glare at Sunwoo every time she saw him anymore, and you had even heard her teasing with Hyunjae–positively–about the two of you. Hyunjae must have heard that the two of you were together through Chae and Yuri told Sangyeon everything, so he knew as well, but neither had made the attempt to tell the King.

You were content. Now, whenever you baked, you had a lovesick smile on your face. The same smile that adorned your face as you made fruit tarts with Nabi.

However, the silence and your peace are quickly broken.

“I talked to the King,” Nabi blurts out, continuing to stir the mixture. “About you and Sunwoo. Princess Yuri and Princess Chaewon were there too. And Sangyeon and Hyunjae. And some guy named Juyeon. And Jacob. ”

“You what?” You look up, alarmed. Nabi mustn’t find the situation as extreme as you did, however, because she continues to stir, without a care in the world.

“What did you say? What did he say? What did they say? What could you even have talked about?” You ramble, admittedly extremely confused. Your heart was beating at rates that were far from human, but Nabi didn't budge, just standing there.

“Fruit tarts?”

You stagger at the new voice, one you know all too well.

“Father,” You breathe out. “What are you doing here?”

There’s a small smile on his face, one that was reserved for just his three daughters. There was a side to him that no one else knew.

“I had a chat this evening,” He begins, wandering around the kitchen as if there was a particular interest he found in the cabinets. “Nabi was there and she made some very good points. She was also very convincing.”

“Convincing of what?” You plead, nearly in a frenzy for unsaid words. It was like Nabi and the King were sharing an inside joke which is completely preposterous considering you hadn’t even known they acknowledged each other until this very moment and–

“Chaewon claims that Sunwoo has changed. She entered today with a whole panel of witnesses, actually. All with very convincing arguments on why I should give Sunwoo a chance–a real chance.

You’re taken aback, shocked by the information. Against your will, your palms begin to sweat and you’re not sure if the room is spinning in circles because you’re dreaming or you were dizzy.

“I listened to them. But now, I would like to listen to you,” He takes a step towards you, gesturing for you to talk.

You don’t know where to begin, your mouth dry.

“I–” You look around, your eyes falling onto Nabi’s, the only other person in the room. She sends a small encouraging smile in your direction and it’s all you need for words to flow out of your mouth.

“I am in love with Sunwoo. Everything he has ever done has been from his heart, whether that be for his parents, his sister, or for me. All he has ever done is love and I wish you could see him through my eyes so you could understand just how bright he shines,” You take a deep breath, continuing. You were sure you looked crazy, but if this was the King’s way of understanding how much Sunwoo meant to you, then you would take the one chance you would get. “He cares about me and this kingdom and I truly think there would be no better person to bring about real change in this world other than him. And if you don’t want us to be together, fine, but you can not deny me that he doesn’t deserve better than the way he’s treated currently. He has done more than prove himself.”

Your mind drifts back once again to those cursed words your Father had spoken–

“Sunwoo was and always will be a thief. Until he makes amends for his mistakes and shows that he is capable of something greater, I do not want you speaking to him.”

By the end of your speech, you're breathing heavily, and you can’t help but want to sit down. The only thought in your brain is that you hope that you’ve done Sunwoo justice.

Your eyes dart between Nabi and the King. He stays silent, but there’s a smug look on Nabi’s face as if you were missing something.

“I know I already spoke to you, but anything you wish to add Sunwoo?”

You pause, watching Sunwoo come out from behind the wall where the King entered from. You feel your face begin to heat up, but you notice the familiar blush littering Sunwoo’s cheeks.

“No, your highness,” Sunwoo smiles. You raise your eyebrows at the honorific directed towards your father, but he shrugs, mouthing “Talk later?” You nod, directing your attention back to your father with the biggest smile on your face.

“I believe that settles it then. Sunwoo, you will be moved to closer living quarters, not too close though,” His eyes narrow at Sunwoo. “And your new list of responsibilities begins tomorrow. I think you would do great supervising the new project the two of you have been working on.”

The King turns to look at you one more time, the smile on his face being the same one you grew up with. “Yuri said something to me today that truly helped me gain some insight.”

Your mind wanders to what Yuri could have said. She spent most of her time with Nabi when you weren’t baking with her, but it never occurred to you that she might see Sunwoo on a daily basis when he went to get Nabi for dinner. You wondered what Yuri and Sunwoo could have talked about.

“What did she say?”

He places a hand on your shoulder, eyes proud. “Your mother would have loved him.”

The King leaves promptly after that, but it isn’t long until you rush over to Sunwoo, wrapping your arms around his neck.

You laugh as he picks you up, spinning you around.

“I never got to say this to you directly, but I told your father, who apologized and thanked me, by the way–” The shock must be evident on your face because he says he’ll tell you about it later. “But, I love you. You are it for me, Princess. I want to look toward the future and that’s you. I wouldn’t have a future if it wasn’t for you. So thank you, Angel.”

Your hands were still clasped around his neck, your faces inches apart. You’re not sure if Nabi had left, but you’re sure she would have by now considering it felt like there was no one in the world, let alone the room, but the two of you.

He places a soft kiss on your forehead, pulling back to look into your eyes again.

“I love you, too,” You whisper, watching his eyes sparkle.

–BONUS SCENE: Nabi’s speech–

“Nabi, go ahead and tell him what you wanted to say,” Yuri encourages Nabi, holding onto her shoulder for support.

Nabi takes a shaky breath. And then she blurts, “My brother is the best brother in the whole wide world. He helps me and he helped my parents as much as he could. My brother didn’t care that he had to look after me. He didn’t complain to me once. He found me toys and gave me his food and he is my brother. I know I’m a child so you might not believe me. There isn’t much I know, but I do know that my brother is the best person in this world. He cares about me and Princess Y/N even though the way you treated him was terrible. If he was bad, he would be different, but he’s still the same brother I grew up with and I think you need to be nicer to him.”

301 notes · View notes

yootaesowlwrites · 9 months ago

Text

Don't - Kim Sunwoo

W/C: 7K

Note: Blank blogs will be blocked. I don’t trust y’all, so make sure you have your age in your bio/desc or something on your blog or a pfp. Minors DNI or get blocked!

Prompts: "Don't Cum Yet..."

Warnings: Smut, explicit language, pet/nicknames, nudism, nipple sucking, nipple playing, bruising, clit stimulation, oral (Female & Male receiving), cum swallowing, hair pulling, teasing, blowjob, biting, marking, unprotected sex (reader’s on the pill), riding, aftercare, cockwarming, talking about possible somnophilia.

Age Warning: I will not take responsibility because you wanted to read this, but if you’re under the age of 18+, DO NOT INTERACT OR READ. Do not take this as educational, this is fiction!

You and Sunwoo step back into your apartment after you had left the company where the staff and his group members had thrown a small get-together for his birthday, you remove your shoes and roll your shoulders before letting out a soft sigh, happy to be home and be surrounded by some quietness.

“I love that it’s your birthday, but I feel so tired now, Woo,” You say while turning to him, he removes his jacket and hangs it onto the coat hanger near the door before stepping closer to you.

“If you want, I can give you something that will wake you right up, Jagiya,” He says. You bite the inside of your cheeks, thinking his offer over. “Or, just lay back and let me have some dessert at least, one final dessert for my birthday,” You could feel heat rising to your cheeks as you thought about his head between your legs and your fingers pulling at his locks. “By that look on your face, you’re considering it hard.”

“Can you blame me?” You quickly say before taking hold of his hand. “It’s tempting, Woo, so tempting…” Your eyes slowly move down his chest before moving lower and pausing at his waist. “But… as tempting as it is, it’s your birthday,” You lift your gaze slightly. “I should make you feel like you’re in heaven,” You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “Or, to compromise, we could do both.”

“I…” He pauses as he thinks over what you have just said to him. “Like… at the same time, or do you mean one at a time?” You tug on his hand and begin leading him down the hallway towards the bedroom.

“Well, maybe for Christmas we can try the sixty-nine, see how it works for us, but for tonight, I want you to fully focus and feel what you’re going to experience,” You say as you get closer and closer to the bedroom. “Now the next question is, Woo… who’s going to lay back first?” You were suddenly spun right as you entered the bedroom and pushed up against the wall next to the door, you gasped and looked into his brown eyes which were much darker now, his cologne filled your lungs and his warmth immediately surrounded you.

“Well… it’s my birthday, I deserve dessert first,” He says before leaning in closer. “It’s only fair I had to wait the entire day for it,” You could feel his breath fan against your lips before they brushed against you, your hands immediately fell to the hem of his shirt and pulled the fabric upwards, your hands press against his skin as his tugs on your shirt, tugging it upwards. The kiss was sloppy, yet hot at the same time, your breathing was becoming louder as you tried to get enough air into your lungs, you broke the kiss and gasped for air as he tugged your shirt higher, you lifted your hands and let him pull it off you before you grab onto his shirt and also pull it upwards and off, tossing it aside.

“If I knew you were this needy, Woo…” You breathe out as you place your hands on his chest and slowly slide them down his body, feeling every bump underneath your touch from the soft abs on his stomach. “I would have asked if we could take the long way home,” Your hands find the belt around his waist, and you begin working on it, the sound of the metal clinging sends a shock through your body and straight to your pussy.

“Screw the long way home,” He mumbles as he leans closer to press his lips against your collarbone. “I’m relieved you didn’t know how needy I was,” His hands slide between your body and the wall and slowly move them upwards towards the clasp of your bra. You pull the belt through the loops before dropping it to the floor, just as he unclasps your bra. “Maybe any other night we could…” His nose brushes against your collarbone before you feel his lips at the top of your shoulder and his teeth grazing with a feathery touch against your skin as he takes the strap between his teeth and pulls it down your arm. “But tonight, I’m glad we’re home,” He moves his head to your other shoulder and does the same, the bra falls to the floor between you both and his mouth instantly moves towards your breasts.

“I have to admit,” You say as you slide your hand over the growing bulge in his jeans. “I’m kinda glad we didn’t take the long way, otherwise this, right here, wouldn’t be happening now,” You cup him through his jeans, causing him to inhale sharply. “Maybe it would have happened still, but a lot later,” His mouth moves lower and over your nipple, his hot breath fans over the sensitive skin causing your pussy to twitch. “Gosh, Sunwoo…” Your lids flutter as you feel his lips wrap around your nipple and gently suck on the bud, his hand cups your other breast, and he slowly slides his thumb over your nipple. “Hmm…” You feel his other hand slide over your waist, over the curves of your body as it goes lower and lower until his fingers push past the waistband of your pants, and he cups your mound and slowly moves his hand a little lower.

His fingers reach your folds and press down against your clothed folds before rubbing them with your panties, your hand tightens slightly against his jeans as you feel his fingers push a little harder against your pussy, pushing the fabric between your folds, you could feel his cock slowly growing as you rub your hand over his jeans. His fingers slide through your folds, pushing more of your panties between them as he slides them towards your entrance before sliding them back to your clit. “Fucking gosh…” You moan as he circles his fingers around your clit, using your panties to create a faint friction against the bundle of nerves, he slides his fingers back towards your slit and circles it with your panties before sliding his fingers back to your clit and doing the same.

He takes your nipple between his fingers and slowly rolls the bud between the pads of his fingers as wetness continues to pool between your folds with each rub and circle drawn through your panties, you could feel your panties becoming soaked with your juices, and you could hear a faint sound of your wetness sloshing each time his fingers went towards your entrance and back, spreading it over the fabric to create a bigger mess. He tugs on your nipple, and you feel your insides pulling into a knot with that tug as a high slowly begins building. “Sunwoo… Woo, oh… my…” His fingers pause at your clit and your back arches away from the wall as they finally touched the bundle of nerves, he releases your nipple and lifts his head to look at your face.

“You’re so fucking soaked…” He mumbles as he continues to rub your clit through your panties, the fabric causing your breathing to get louder and your heart rate to pick up slightly, your hand begins rubbing faster against his jeans as you try to match the movement of his fingers. “We need to get to the bed,” He pulls his hand away from your pussy, making you whine at the loss of contact and the loss of simulation, he grabs onto the waistband of your pants and tugs them down along with your panties.

“Oh, my fucking…” You gasp as you feel the fabric being ripped away from your throbbing clit, your knees almost buckling beneath you at the rough feeling, you take in a slow deep breath before stepping out of them once they pooled around your ankles, you move past Sunwoo and towards the bed, and he quickly turns to follow you closely, close enough that you could still feel his heat radiating onto you, once you reach the bed he spins you around and places his hands on your shoulders.

“Sit right here and spread those pretty legs for me,” He says. You feel your pussy twitch at his words before sitting down at the end of the bed and placing your hands behind you, leaning back to give him a full view of your fully naked body before slowly spreading your legs, the sound of your wetness squelches as your folds spread apart, and you watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head for a split second.

“Grab a pillow, Woo, you might be down there for a while,” You say and smirk up at him, confidence bursts inside you at the effect you had on the man in front of you, he takes his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment as his eyes move over your body, drinking up everything.

“You’re right, I gotta enjoy my dessert to the fullest,” He says and walks around the bed before grabbing one of the pillows and making his way back in front of you and drops the pillow to the floor, the cold gust of wind from him dropping the pillow blows against your hot wet pussy, and it causes your legs to twitch. He lowers down on his knees in front of you and moves himself closer to you, you lick your lips— feeling how swollen they are— his hair tickles the inside of your inner thighs as he gets closer.

“Sunwoo!” You gasp as he suddenly wraps his arms around your thighs and lifts your legs over his shoulders, his hands grip your inner thighs, and his fingers dig into your skin, surely you would find bruising there the following morning, you look down at him as he stares up at you, inching closer and closer to your pussy. “Sunwoo… fuck,” You mumble and move a hand to the top of his head and curl your fingers into his locks, his chin brushes against your mound before he lowers his head, dragging his chin over your folds before his nose brushes along your mound, he takes in a deep breath before letting out a sigh.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” He mumbles and presses his nose against your folds, a shiver goes through you as you feel him talking right against your pussy. “You’re going to taste just as good,” Without much warning he licks a stripe over your clit causing your back to arch at the sudden unexpected contact, your other hand grips onto the bedding and you curl the fabric between your fingers. “Oh, I was so right,” You feel his nose press against your mound before his tongue presses against your clit and slides it over the sensitive nub.

“Oh, fucking fuck, Sunwoo!” You gasp, your skin feels on fire with each slow lick against your clit, your legs begging you to shut around his head and push him further against your pussy, his breathing was getting louder as his nose was smashed up against your pussy, and it only enhanced the feeling going through your body, the room felt hot, and you could feel your skin starting to get sticky with sweat, your mind felt like it was bouncing from the feeling of his tongue circling and lapping over your clit. “Sunwoo, oh, my fucking…” You suck in your stomach as you feel the knot of tension slowly growing bigger, you press the heels of your feet against his back and curl your toes as the euphoric sensation goes through your body.

“Hmm-hmm, so good,” He mumbles against your pussy, you throw your head back as you gasp when you feel his lips wrap around the little nub, and he sucks on it while using the tip of his tongue to tease it.

“Su-Suuun-wooo,” You moan and shut your eyes as your jaw slacks, and you loudly breathe through your mouth, and you tug at his hair as you feel your body tensing up from the feeling. “Fucking… shit, shit, it’s so gooood,” He releases your clit, and you feel his nose brush over the sensitive nub before his mouth reaches your slit, he pulls back, and your muscles slowly relax, and you take in a few deep breaths. His eyes slowly move over your body, the light shines just right on you, making your skin light up as the faint droplets of sweat coat your skin and with your head thrown back and your chest pushing out, the sight is pure sin and yet heaven at the same time for him.

“Jagiya, does it feel good?” He asks as he slowly rubs his hands up and down your inner thighs, his fingers getting so close to your folds before they move away. “Am I making you feel good?” He turns his head and kisses the inside of your thigh, you could feel his nose and lips smearing your juices onto your skin as he kisses the spot over and over.

“Fuck, yes, yes you are, Sunwoo…” You mumble as you lower yourself down to your elbow. “Fuck… it feels so good…” You lift your head to look at him through lidded eyes, and he can see how dark they are. “I’m getting so close…” Your fingers twitch in his hair, and he could already tell how desperate you were to feel his mouth on you again.

“Then I should get my full dessert,” He says before he leaves one last kiss on your inner thigh and lowers his head between your legs again, his nose settles right beneath your throbbing clit, and you could feel his breathing hit your entrance.

“Fucking g- ooh, Sunwoo…” You gasp as you feel his tongue glide over your slit, lapping at your leaking juices, the warm feeling of his tongue between your folds was making your mind spin, and your grip on his hair tightens and your hips lift off the bed, pushing yourself more against his face. His hands grip your inner thighs, this time much closer to your pussy, and holds you up as he slides his tongue slides inside you and your elbow collapses beneath you, and you fully lay back on the bed. “SUNWOO!” You cry out as you feel an immense pleasure coursing through your body. “FUCK, SUNWOOOO!” You blink rapidly as you try to keep your eyes open, your vision becomes blurry as pleasure slowly consumes your entire body. “FUCK, FUCK!” Your muscles tense and you sucked your stomach in, your glute muscles tighten as you feel your high approaching you with rapid speed with how he managed to use his tongue inside you, and with how his hands gripped your inner thighs, it felt like he had managed to spread your pussy even more for him to gain better access.

“Hmm, hmm,” He moans into your pussy, feeling wetness growing around his tongue. “Hmfff, hhmmm,” The vibrations from his moans travel up your spine and cause the knot inside you to grow quickly.

“SUNWOO!” You cry out, feeling out of breath as you scream his name, your heart drummed loudly in your ears— and you were almost certain he could hear it as well, — the bedding sticks to your skin as sweat continues to build. “I’M GONNA!” Your back arches as you managed to push your pussy completely against his face, you feel his tongue slide in just the tiniest bit deeper inside you before your mind fell off the edge and straight into a pool of blissfulness. “SUUUNWWWOOO!” Your head turns from side to side as your body shakes with pleasure, and the knot inside you explodes as you come undone around his tongue, you’re practically riding his face with how much your body is shaking.

“SUNWOO!” Fireworks fly past your vision behind your closed lids, and you grip the sheets tightens, twisting, pulling and tugging on them. “FUCK!” Your shoulders press into the mattress as you lift your hips higher, your body felt like it was on fire as your high was slowly making its way through you, his licks begin slowing down as your body slows down and begins calming, and your muscles relax, and you lower your back onto the mattress, your grip on the bedding loosens until you completely release it and your hand in his hair falls away, your mind slowly comes down from the skies, and you’re left trying to catch your breath as he pulls away from your pussy, licking his lips loudly to clean them.

“You taste so good, jagiya,” He says. You open your eyes and lift your head to look at him, his nose, lips and chin are glistening with your juices, which makes you drop your head and take in a deep breath.

“Fucking hell, Woo…” You mumble. “So filthy of you…” He gives your thighs one final squeeze before he unwraps his arms from around them and lowers your legs, your feet dangling inches away from the floor, as you take a moment to gather your thoughts.

“But it’s a good filth also,” He says as he places his hands on top of your thighs and slowly slides them along your thighs before moving them over the creases of your hips, he stands from the floor and leans over you and moves his hands to the mattress to press against it and put all of his weight onto the bed instead. “Right?” You turn your head to look at him.

“Right… hmm,” You mumble as you can smell yourself on him, “A good kind,” You lift your head and press your nose against his. “And now, it’s your turn,” You reach up for his shoulders and grab onto them. “So sit down and lean back,” He tilts his head to press a quick peck to your lips before his warmth disappears, and your hands fall away from his shoulders, you quickly sit upright and grab onto the loops of his jeans before he can move away from the bed. “Wait, wait, just one second,” You undo the button and open the zipper before pulling his jeans down, the bugle that was being restricted by his jeans now created a tent in his underwear, he steps out from his jeans and kicks them aside while your fingers hook into the elastic of his underwear, and you tug on it, tugging him towards you and causing him to stumble a little forward.

“Whoa…” He breathes and places his hands on your shoulders to stop himself from toppling over, your lips press against the middle of his stomach, and you slowly kiss a trail down and over his belly button until you reach the fabric of his underwear and kiss towards his hip as you begin to pull his underwear down, making sure not to have it accidentally get caught on his hard cock, once they reach his thighs you begin to kiss your way down to his pubic bone. “Ohh, shit… Jagiya…” He watches as you kiss over the top of his thighs and over his pubic bone while pushing his underwear lower until they finally pool around his ankles.

“So hard for me,” You say and kiss over his thighs, your cheek brushing against the side of his cock, and you hear him inhaling sharply at the faint touch. “You should sit,” You move your head back and look up at him with a slight smirk on your lips before standing from the bed and motioning with your hands towards the bed as you take a step to the side. “You can have my spot,” Sunwoo sits down in the same spot you were just moments ago, and you watch him pause for a moment.

“It’s wet…” He states and looks up at you, you nod your head before positioning the pillow between his feet using your foot. “How much did you…?”

“Well… I was super wet, and it leaked onto the bed,” You say and lick your lips. “You don’t mind, do you?” Your tone sounds innocent, which causes his eyes to roll to the back of his head.

“Fuck, you’re such a damn tease, Jagiya,” He groans. You lower to your knees in front of him and place your hands on top of his knees.

“Like you’re complaining about it,” You say and slide your hands along his thighs while leaning your head closer, your lips make contact with the top of his knee, and you slowly kiss up his thigh, your hands reaching close to his cock, and you move one hand towards it and extend a finger. “You sounded a little sensitive earlier…” Your finger touches the side of his cock, and you slowly slide it along his length with a feathery touch.

“Fuuuckk,” He groans, your finger reaches the top of his cock, and you circle your finger around the tip, collecting his pre-cum onto it.

“Hmm, leaking also…” You say and slide your finger down his cock, leaving a trail of glistening pre-cum behind on it, before moving your head closer to his cock. “So hot of you,” You whisper while batting your eyes up at him. “Know what’s going to be hot also?”

“What?” He breathes out. You move your finger away from his cock and place it on his thigh and draw small circles on his skin, leaving a trail of his glistening juices behind.

“This,” You say before your lips wrap around the spot you had just drawn on, the taste of his salty pre-cum bursts onto your tongue as you slide it over the sticky liquid, cleaning it while sucking on the spot.

“Oh, fucking…” He groans and moves a hand to the back of your head, you were definitely going to leave a dark purple bruise on his skin. “Fuck, that’s it, mark me right up,” Your hand rubs over the outside of his thigh as you suck on his skin, your other hand was rubbing at the top of his thigh, feeling his skin becoming slippery underneath your touch. You lift your head away from the spot and admire the mark as it changes colour.

“I was right,” You say before dipping your head lower. “It was hot,” Your breath fans against the underside of his cock, and you hear him let out a whimper, which quickly intrigues your mind. “Did that feel good?” You purposely blow air against his cock again and watch his reaction closely.

“Yyy/nnn, jagiya, fuck…” He whines, and you feel his grip tighten against the back of your head, you slowly nod your head before turning it to the side and pressing a soft kiss to his thigh.

“I’ll get to it in a moment…” You mumble before you fully press your lips against his thigh, this time he could feel your teeth threatening to bite into his skin, and he had to force himself to sit still and not buck his hips, you were leaving another mark while testing the waters at the same time with what he was comfortable with.

“J-jagiya…” He mutters as he feels your teeth sink a little more into his skin, you pull back, causing silver strings of saliva to break off and fall onto your chin and on his thigh, you glance up at him before digging your fingers into his thighs. “FUCK!” He throws his head back, and you watch as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he breathes in and out rapidly, you glance down at your thighs and the marks he had left behind already appearing.

“Now we’re matching, baby!” You say and move your head towards the top of his thigh, moving your hand away and to the back of his leg, you hear him let out a breathy laugh as he lifts his head to look down at you.

“You’re right…” He says. “We’re matching with that, but I don’t remember leaving a hickey on your thigh,” His hair had fallen over his eyes and some strands were sticking to his forehead from the sweat. “You’re giving more than I did,” He watches as your lips part, and you move your head closer to his thigh. “Ja-jagi-iya…” Your mouth makes contact with his skin, and this time he can’t help but buck his hips upwards as your teeth sink into his skin. “FUCK, fuck, oh, my fucking…” His cock brushes against the side of your face, leaving behind a trail of his pre-cum on your cheek, the bed creaks at the sudden movement. “Fuck, you’re going to be the end of me,” He was breathing loudly, and his muscles were already tensing, you slowly pull away and lick your lips.

“Are you complaining?” You ask and move your hand to the base of his cock, you watch as he stops breathing for a moment as your fingers wrap around him.

“I would go happily, though,” He finally says once you have your hand wrapped around him. “I would meet my end with a smile, because fuck… you make me feel so good,” You smile and slowly slide your hand along his length. “I wouldn’t even realise I had died, because you make me feel like I’m in heaven already,” Before your hand reaches the tip of his cock, you slide it back towards the base.

“Oh, I’m flattered, Woo,” You say and lean closer, you lift your gaze to look up at him before softly blowing cool air against the tip of his cock that was coated with his pre-cum, his other hand grips the edge of the bed as he feels your cool breath blow right against it, cooling it off around his cock that felt like it was on fire, and the feeling of it was sending his mind into a spiral.

“Fuck… oh, fucking…” He groans. You slide your hand to the top of his cock, collecting the glistening liquid onto your hand before slowly spreading it over his length. “Dear, fucking… you, you’re so…” You blow down his length, causing a shiver to go through him as you cool off the hot juices that were being spread over him. “I…” The way the two different temperatures felt on his cock was edging him closer to a release, something he didn’t want to happen so soon, not when you had just barely started and hadn’t had him in your mouth yet. “Fuck… jagiya…” Your hand moves slowly along his length, and it feels like you were slowly trying to pull an orgasm out of him.

“Feels good, hmm?” Your tone was low as you asked, your eyes so dark with lust and mischief. You slide your hand to the top of his cock and pause your movement and lean closer, only the tip was peaking out from around your hand.

“Sh-shit, oh…” He moans as he can feel your breathing hit right against it. “Fuuucckkk,” His voice was shaky as your tongue pressed against the slit on his cock and slowly licked over it, the texture of your tongue against his sensitive cock was making it hard for him to control himself. “Sh-shit, o-oh, my fuc-fucking…” Your tongue disappears from the tip, and you slide your hand down his cock. “Shit…” Beads of sweat were slowly beginning to roll down his neck and his hair was almost completely wet and sticking to his face, you twist and turn your hand around his cock, causing a squelching sound to go through the room from how wet his cock already was of his pre-cum.

“Hear that, Sunwoo?” You ask before sliding the tip of your tongue around the tip of his cock, another shuddering breath leaves him, and you watch as he sucks in his stomach. “Fuck, it sounds so dirty,” You lower your head and press your tongue against the underside of his cock.

“Ja-jagiya…” He breathes, you flatten your tongue against his cock and slowly lick upwards, keeping your eyes on his face, his lids flutter and his mouth opens and closes as he gasps for air as your tongue reaches the top of his cock, and you wrap your lips around him. “FUCKING HELL!” He throws his head back at the sudden warmth that engulfed his cock. “Shit, shit, Y/n, ja-jagiya…” His grip on the back of your head tightens, and you feel him trying to push your head down on his cock. You let him and his cock slide deeper into your mouth, and you hallow your cheeks while turning and twisting your hand around the base of his cock. “Fucking… I, so… good,” You could hear the strain in his voice as he moaned from pleasure, you slowly took more of his length into your mouth, and he could feel your breathing hit his pubic bone as you did.

“That feels so fucking good, oh, shit…” His eyes rolled to the back of his head before his lids shut in pure bliss, it felt like he was so close to blowing and filling your mouth with his load. You pull back and only keep the tip in your mouth as your hand slides up and down, spreading your saliva and his pre-cum over his cock, he could feel his balls slowly starting to tighten and a faint throbbing feeling starting to form at the tip of his cock. “Fucking, I’m… I’m close, I’m go-going…” At his words, you pull back from his cock with a pop, which causes his entire to shake and a shiver to shoot up his spine. “SHIT!” His eyes fly open, and he lifts his head to look down at you. “Why’d you stoooppp?” He whines out, and fuck, did you love the sound of him whining for you.

“Don’t cum yet…” You say and slide your hand along his length before pulling it away once your hand reaches the top, strings of pre-cum break off from your hand, and it hits the top of his thighs, making him gasp at the sudden cold feeling hitting his thighs, you bring your hand to your mouth, and he watches you carefully as you slip your tongue past your lips and press it against the palm of your hand and slowly lick a stripe along your palm. “Hmm, so good, Woo…” You place that exact hand on his shoulder before pulling yourself upwards to straddle his lap, pressing your knees into the mattress, his cock press against your pussy, and you slowly roll your hips over his cock, making it slide between your folds which caused your juices to spill down his cock. “Not yet, I want to be inside you.”

“Fucking… so warm, fuck…” He whimpers as he moves his hand away from the back of your head and moves it to your hips, gripping onto them and holding onto you tightly, you move your hands between your bodies and wrap them around his cock before slowly sliding him between your folds, the squelching sound of your wetness reaches your ears, and you feel your insides doing a flip, the thought of his cock stretching you out was already affecting you. “I’ll fill you so good, jagiya, but put it in now, please,” You lift your hips slightly before moving him towards your entrance.

“Since it’s your birthday, I can’t have you wait too long,” You say before slowly sinking onto his cock, you release it and move your hand to his shoulder while slowly feeling his girth stretch your walls and fill you. “Fucking… ohhh, so good, hmm, Sunwoo… oh,” You moan and shut your eyes at the feeling of his length sliding into you, his thumbs press down hard against the creases of your hips as his breathing stops at the feeling of your walls squishing down around him, engulfing him with warmth. “Shit, ohh, uhh,” Once he was fully inside you, you press yourself against his body and take a moment to adjust to him as you were both breathing in deeply and loudly.

“Let me just… fuck, just move a little more onto the bed so you don’t slip,” He says, you feel the bedding slide underneath your knees as he scoots himself further onto the bed. “Okay… this is as far as I can scoot back,” You nod your head against his shoulder before slowly lifting your hips, his cock slides out of you halfway before you roll your hips forward, letting his cock slide back inside you. “Ohh, fuck, so good, so good, jagiya…” He mumbles into the crook of your neck, and one of his hands slides over your back and moves to the back of your neck. “Just like that…” You were slowly picking up speed until you found a rhythm that was just right for you both. The squelching sound of your juices fills the room and the scent of sex fills the air. “Fuck, ohh… my absolute fucking…” You feel his lips press against your neck as he softly kisses it.

“Sunwoo… oh fuck, you always, always… so good around me,” You mumble and lift your head away from his shoulder, he pulls his head back from your neck, and you look into each other's eyes, the sound of skin slapping against skin and the sound of the bed creaking bounces off the walls and the sound of your hard breathing and moans and his grunts and groans fills the room.

“Uhhmm,” He groans as he feels your walls squeezing around him, with the angle you were positioned on top of him, you could feel his pubic bone just barely brushing against your throbbing clit, your chest was sliding against his from all the sweat that’s collected onto your skin and his. “You feel so… good, perfect around me,” You could feel your insides slowly pulling together, and your toes curl at a hot tingling feeling slowly making its way up your legs. “Fuck, you just know… how…” His muscles begin to twitch and pull, he was a lot closer to his release than you were.

“Woo… fuck…” You mumble. You could feel his stomach muscles pulling as your bodies were pressed flush against one another, his thigh muscles were twitching beneath yours as he was getting closer and closer. “Gonna cum for me?” Your mind felt foggy as his cock slides in and out of you, hitting all the right spots inside you. “Gonna fill me up good?” Your words were causing his mind to spin, the way you were just talking to him so casually, yet your words were absolute filthy. “Gonna make it spill out of me?”

“Fuck, baby!” He suddenly says. “Fucking, your fucking words, shit,” You feel his hand on your hip grip you harder and try to help you move a little faster over his cock to get him to where he wanted to be so badly. “Fuck…” He also sounded so desperate. You press your hands down hard on his shoulders, forcing him to lay back on the mattress, his hands fall away from the back of your head, and he grips the bedding instead, his eyes open wide as you move your hands to his chest and lift your hips before lowering them down onto him, his cock sinking in just that little bit deeper. “FUCK!” Your walls squeeze around him, and he feels his mind falling completely blank. “Ja-jagiya…” A hot sensation goes through his cock. “FUCK!” His hips jerk upwards as the tightening feeling in his balls suddenly comes undone, and his eyes shut completely. “Ohh, FUCK, fuck yes, YES, fuck yes!” He chants as his load spills into you, filling your pussy, as you continue to roll your hips at a rapid pace to get him through his high.

“That’s it, Sunwoo, fill me, fucking fill me just like that,” You pant. “Fuck, it feels so good to feel your load inside me and spilling from me, fucking hell…” You could feel the tension inside you getting tighter and tighter. “Is it spilling onto your thighs?” You slide your hand down his chest and over his stomach, feeling his muscles spasm underneath them as he cums.

“Fuck, fuck, so gooooooddd, uhhmm, hmm,” He moans as he turns his head from side to side, you lift your hand away from his stomach and move it between your legs and press a finger against your clit. “AH, SHHIITT!” He could feel your walls pulsing around him as you rub your clit to push yourself towards a high, you throw your head back as you feel the tingling sensation going through your legs slowly getting closer and closer to your pussy.

“I'm gonna…” You breathe out as your eyes roll to the back of your head, your body begins shaking on top of him as you try to keep moving, but it is becoming harder and harder as you get closer to your high. “Su-Sunwoo…” Your lids shut as you begin rubbing your clit faster while moving your hips quicker. Sunwoo begins coming down from the high he was going through and opens his eyes, blinking several times to adjust to the light before moving his gaze onto you, your tits bounced as you tried to get yourself to your high, and he was quickly becoming sensitive to the feeling of your pussy squeezing and moving around him.

“Fuck, let me help…” He mutters before sliding his hand from your hip to your inner thigh, your back arches as you feel his thumb suddenly press down against your clit and roll it underneath the pad of his finger, you instantly move your hand away and press it against his hip.

“Fuuuckk, Sunwoo, Sunwoo, yes, I’m almost…” You moan as you scratch his chest, leaving red stripes behind on his beautiful tanned skin. “Fucking…” Stars suddenly explode behind your lids as he takes the throbbing nub between his fingers and rolls it. “SUNWOO!” The tension inside your body snaps and a flood of pleasure washes over you while your mind is thrown into the clouds. “OHH, OHH!” It felt like your body was floating with how light it felt as you were going through your high, your juices leaked from around his cock and splatter onto his thighs and your inner thighs as you continue to bounce on his cock to get yourself through your high, his fingers continue to play with your clit, easing you through everything. “OH MY FUCKING!” Your legs felt tied, and it felt like they were starting to burn as your movements slowed down. “Sunwoosunwoosunwoo,” You chant before coming to a complete stop on top of him, he pulls his hand away from your pussy and quickly pushes himself into a sitting position to pull your body against his.

“I got you, I got you,” He mumbles as he slowly lays back down, wrapping his arms around your body and you both lay there with his soft cock still buried inside you while trying to catch your breath as the afterglow slowly begins settling in. You felt even more tired now than you had when you had walked in, but you had admitted to yourself, that it was worth it, the tingling sensation between your legs was all worth the tiredness you felt, and you just wanted to sleep right now. “Jagiya… we need to go clean ourselves before you fall asleep,” His voice woke you from the slumber that you were slowly falling into.

“Hmm… in a minute,” You mumble before turning your head, wanting to ignore him and fall asleep on top of him.

“No, no, now, we need to do it now, otherwise you’re going to be asleep soon,” He says. You feel him sit upright, holding onto you tightly, which makes you groan before lifting your head and opening your eyes a tiny bit to look at him.

“Sunwoo… I’m not complaining about your cock being deep inside me right now, are you complaining about being deep inside me still?” You ask, wanting to get your point across that you really really didn’t want to get up right now to go and clean.

“Well, no… I just thought you would want to be clean before falling asleep,” He says. “But if this is the position you want to sleep in, I don’t mind at all,” You nod your head before closing your eyes and lowering your head onto his shoulder. “Just know… I’m gonna get hard inside you during the night.”

“Then… then you can take care of it, inside me, again,” You mumble. He lets out a groan before moving his hands down your ass and cupping it.

“Fuck, you’re being so damn dirty,” He mumbles before standing, your legs instantly tighten around his waist and your arms move to wrap around his neck and lock together behind his head.

“Are you taking us to the bathroom?” You ask, not wanting to lift your head to see.

“No, I’m just moving us onto the bed properly,” He says. “You just said I can have you during the middle of the night when I get hard…” You hear the sheets being tugged open behind you before you feel the bed touch beneath your knees again.

“Did you enjoy how your birthday ended, though?” You softly ask as he lays down and carefully moves you both onto your sides, careful not to accidentally let his cock slide out from you.

“Keep this leg on top of me…” He mumbles as he moves your other leg away from his side so he won’t lay on top of it. “I did, I love how it’s ending also…” His cock shifts slightly inside you, causing you to whimper and him to inhale sharply. “Wish I had a birthday every day if this is how it can end,” You tiredly hum as you find a comfortable position. “I’m so going to get hard… fuck,” Was the last thing you heard before you completely drifted off.

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