#suffering in the wake of my accidental obsession

[six-demon-bag]

i have never been so consumed by character . before. why is this one an integral part of my psyche and brain and soul and skull i am going to do violence and gnaw on him until i die

[4channerguy]

Fluff Nagumo (sakamoto days) x GN reader!! It could be about anything Idc as long as it’s fluff!! Include nsfw in the end if you would like too I don’t mind 🫶

✧ nagumo as your boyfriend

◜ ⟣𓂃 hey anonn :3 sorry for the hold up i've been suffering writer's block for like months and shit & i decided it’s the best for me to do like a little headcanon thing cuz like tbh i don’t think i could write a full fic tho 🫡 also the nsfw part is lacking at best because i genuinely still do not KNOW how to WRITE for NAGUMO!!! WHY OH WHY!!!! anyway i hope it caters to you. xoxo (。・∀・)ノ

warnings ✎ : nsfw content, gender neutral reader (genitalia is not mentioned only your chest and your butt KEK) obsessive behavior mayhaps? ➜ ┊ pairings: nagumo x reader

♯┆SFW .ᐟ ★

he's such a wonderful bf *sigh*

he's also quite a teaser ngl, i think he blows on your neck a lot and when you flinch and glare at him he always has a shit-eating grin.

quite overprotective of you, even if you're literally extremely muscular and can literally bodyslam someone, he cannot BEAR the sight of you getting a small scratch on your face. or you getting into a fight

he's also a drama king

"oh hey nagumo...uhh what're you doing...?"

"applying rubbing alcohol on your face duh, who did this to you?? >:("

"what're you talking about...oh."

"oh?"

"heh...um that was me. i did that. i was...ripping a candy bag open. with my teeth. and the sharp part...cut my face." *insert mlp squee sound*

"..."

he's still going to thoroughly disinfect it and check on it everyday until it's gone. what a king!

he's very handsy, so you will find his hand SOMEWHERE on your part of your body.

you get so used to it you don't even notice.

if you ever sleep together, he always has both of his arms wrapped around you and whenever you wake up in the morning, you feel a puddle of drool in your hair. like always.

when he's sitting down next to you he always has the habit of grabbing your nearest hand and massaging your phalanges. or just intertwining and detangling your fingers with his.

also has the habit of just staring at you for no reason

it's like when you accidentally hold eye contact or stare at a person while your zoning out

except for his case he does it intentionally.

quite possessive of you, in some cases it can be unhealthy. also a bit jealous. (i might go on with this in a ramble if i could)

always offers his frumpy looking jackets and hawaiian shirts for you to wear

and you do because...who tf wouldnt lol

and when you do wear them he melts a little

trace his tattoos with your fingers!!! he finds that gesture slightly intimate

also you two have a game where every year for his birthday you pick out the dumbest tattoo design and make him get it

last year it was a badly drawn dick with two circles and a long oval lol

♯┆NSFW .ᐟ ★

i think he's personally an ass/thigh man

he's always finding a way to sneakily grope them in public settings

speaking of that he probably likes public risky sex (what a freak literally)

the thought of you and him getting off in the back of some janitor's closet or something like that with the door unlocked will get him hard ngl

he also probably has a size kink

AND this might be an unpopular opinion BUT i personally think that he would want to explore pegging

but you didn't hear that from me........................

he would think about asking you about it time to time but he won't personally act on it because it's not something he wants to experience it yet

(sorry)

dick size is kind of around 5 or 6 inches when hard probably and it's not very girthy i will not lie 🙅but it hits all the right spots i guess so yass?

he likes bondage, but wants to see you tied up most of the time :3

⋆｡𖦹 °✩ 04.12.24, do not repost or translate my content :^)

[wetcatspellcaster]

Metapost: "The Ascendent"

**this is a meta for my fic, Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth, and NOT a discussion of the BG3 game canon in any way. If you try and make this into a disk-horse, I will BITE you**

(spoilers under the cut for Chapters 1-23 of Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth).

So... remember in the Chapter One endnote when I said I was a Spike/Buffy fan first, and a person second? x

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In more seriousness, there was a number of fictional seasonings/ingredients that went into creating what I felt was the villain of a Gothic horror, and what I felt could turn the Ascendent into something that was both 'fixable', and something I enjoyed writing.

Those ingredients were:

Spike and the idea of 'soulless' vampires in the BtVS canon - do I like this conceit of BtVS worldbuilding and how it's used in the show? No. I think it often underlines how bad Whedon is at writing romance. BUT I do think it gives Buffy this free pass for which vampires she can/can't like or adopt, and I needed some of that for my protagonist. I need a 'I can fix him' moment - BtVS has those in fucking SPADES.

Howl's Moving Castle (this one was accidental, I'm still mad at myself but I can't deny it's there) - man conducts magic ritual for power, removing an essential part of himself in the process that needs to be returned

Picture of Dorian Gray (the idea of an exterior staying pristine while something hidden suffers and decays)

Curse of Strahd (the soulless in Barovia, which I mentioned in Chapter 23)

The idea of default moral alignments in D&D. I have a whole chapter arguing against this in my thesis (mostly bc it's often applied to entire races) but I was fascinated by creating a set of circumstances where I feel like a default moral alignment is valid, actually. 7,000 deaths seems like a good set up. I wanted to imagine a being that was trapped within a default moral alignment, and the laws of its very being prevent it from being good no matter what it tries, and it knows that (this kind of creates a feedback loop with the Spike/Buffy stuff)

The parts of the BG3 canon I took and REMADE (I'm stressing this throughout, I was making a horror story and a horror monster your honour):

Astarion conducts the Rite of Profane Ascension with scars on his back, but has to scar Cazador's back personally, suggesting that um... the Rite REALLY SHOULDN'T BE CONDUCTED BY SOMEONE WHO'S GOT THOSE SCARS. Cazador wasn't going to do it that way, is all I'm saying!!

The idea that Ascended!Ending Astarion is a concentrated version of certain traits that have persisted throughout his story - his flirtiness, his understanding of sex as a mechanism and expression of power, his use of a façade as a mask for trauma he refuses to acknowledge.

The lines alluding to dissociation in the brothel foursome, post-Ascension.

The idea that Astarion seduced Tav to survive or protect himself- in my case, because I made the Ascendent empty save for Astarion's survival instinct, the idea that he would gravitate towards Tav as one of his default modes to potentially survive made sense to me - this is why it becomes an obsession.

･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ

For me, when writing, the Ascendent is a few things:

An intensification of vampirism in a different, fucked-up direction. Yeah, A!Astarion, you can walk in sunlight and you can eat and drink and don't need blood. But you are still a hungering maw of emptiness that feels like it will never be whole or close and connected to the living - just now in a wildly different, metaphysical/existential direction! Welcome to depression, alienation, and otherness!

A soulless being, that knows it is soulless - that initially was very happy with its life but then as the years passed, increasingly spends its every waking moment knowing there is something innately wrong with it that it can't seem to shake, no matter how much it engages with life and all the pleasures of life. (see the 'every meal without savour' speech)

A magically literal metaphor for Astarion's dissociation in moments of extreme trauma, up to and including the fight with Cazador - essentially, the moments when there is nothing but a performance or an exterior, because the self/soul are suffering and they cant' come to phone right now

Astarion's survival instinct. As I say in Chapter 23 - Mephistopheles thinks it is an empty body, who's performance is trying to deny the reality of it's own existence. Rosalie, who has a bit more understanding of Astarion, sees that the performance is not just a coping mechanism but one of Astarion's main modes of survival. The Ascendent is Astarion's survival instinct/techniques for endurance, without any soul or person behind them to protect. This is how I tried to tie in the flirty, hypersexual persona and wrap it with a bow.

I wanted a monster that was undeniably scary, and monstrous to me (oh? you can't fit in or be happy no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, and you think there's something intrinsically off? how's that autism diagnosis going Emma) but that I also felt sympathy and true sorrow for. I needed to have motivations for him chasing after Tav that I could write meaningfully from and sympathise with.

Not only has Astarion used Tav as a life-raft once before, they've also proven to be the most secure thing he's ever clung to. Of course a rabid survival instinct Astarion would become obsessed, and see them as a potential solution to the problem (this was then intensified by Rosalie also being a walking, overbearing moral compass, and having bound him in a contract in the first week of living, accidentally - a lawful good immoveable objects meets a default moral alignment unstoppable force.)

...Because I also wanted that moral alignment spice!! Wizards of the Coast, default moral alignment is fucked up actually!!! Imagine something trying so desperately to be good - literally being bound in a pact and having been told to be good - but the laws of the universe and its very essence are like "nah mate, we kind of want to destroy and annihilate everything, we're neutral evil personified". That's scary!! that's fucked up!! that's what a birth from 7000 deaths gets you!!!

･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ･ﾟ✧

So, now for the actual timeline, for people who aren't interested in my silly musings but mostly just want answers lmfao.

Rosalie makes the decision not to intervene in Cazador's mansion, making it seem like she'll support whatever decision Astarion will make there.

Rite of Profane Ascension happens. Astarion conducts the ritual, rips his own soul from his body, the Ascendent is born with literally zero context. Mephistopheles is fucked in Cania, because a bunch of stuff has just gone wrong.

(oh, by the way, the Ascendent knows Infernal as a default language. Bc it's born from an Infernal rite.)

The Ascendent is now default neutral evil, and feeling some kind of way. Rosalie and him break up. He's supposed to have everything, but the one thing he thought was a done deal - his most stalwart suppporter - just rejected him.

Netherbrain defeat (the Ascendent is not invited. Imagine being an all-powerful, hypersexual survival instinct vampire, and your ex-girlfriend neither wants you for sex, nor your power.)

Rosalie accidentally binds the Ascendent (a soulless devil) in a pact demanding that he never kill anyone, when that's literally what the Ascendent's new existence/new default moral alignment is driving him to do. Then, she fucks off and goes into hiding.

Well. The Ascendent can just get another wizard, to help him learn all of Cazador's secrets to cope [Hemlock is recruited].

The years go by! The Ascendent is doing sooooo well. Everything is great, guys! I'm rich, I'm beautiful, I have lavish parties and lots of sex - why do I feel nothing? I'm a vampire perfected - I have no hunger for blood, I can walk in the sun, I can enjoy all the freedoms of a living, breathing man - why do I feel like I'm starving? Why does everything turn to ashes in my mouth? I have friends - oops, I've sabotaged all those friendships with my innate neutral evil destruction. Why can't I feel anything? What's wrong with me? I'm doing everything right? Why doesn't it feel that way?

Also, I can't kill anything to feel better about it, because my hidden ex-girlfriend bound me in a pact.

In this time, to reflect the gradual degradation of the Ascendent's happiness and it's increasing awareness that it is something Other and innately wrong, the reflection starts going weird. Starts going strange. Starts getting a bit fucked up. Almost as if, when he looks in the mirror and sees a person, *nothing* should be what's there. Imagine being a spawn who couldn't see your reflection, and then a vampire who could see it's reflection, but knows that they're innately empty. Knows there's nothing there. I'd freak out a little bit about it as well tbh, I'd go a bit tooth and claw and elongated jaw about it.

The Ascendent finally admits that's there must be something kinda fucked about it. Life just ain't working out, lads. He starts looking for any and all impossible cures that will help with the malaise in his soul (and that innate essence problem, caused by default moral alignment). These include: more bad decisions, such as a house in Cania bc the Ascendent is hoping he'll feel more at home with devils than he does with mortals. All it does is make him feel more isolated and alone.

But eventually, he settles on two things! - Wish (Hemlock's idea), and Rosalie (the Ascendent's idea). Clearly, we just need Rosalie back! Her leaving is actually what fucked him up in the first place - none of this existential bullshit! She fixed us one, she can fix us again.

But looking for Rosalie hasn't worked out. In order to get a shot at her, the Ascendent goes and bargains for his own soul from Mephistopheles. Mephistopheles, adding a new sheet in excel titled 'what the fuck happens when i give this soulless monster a soul to play with?', agrees and starts tracking his new data.

Obviously, just putting the soul back in yourself will fix you. But the Ascendent, the nothingness living inside Astarion's body, will die. Taking the soul back would erase itself. The Ascendent - who is survival instinct personified - would never do this.

So instead, it starts interviewing and cannibalising the soul. Bc a soul is what it needs, this is the closest it's ever felt to being alive. Bc it's made this all about Rosalie, he thinks he's found his solution. The chase is making him feel alive again. It's true love, lads! not the soul.

Wish auction happens - the Ascendent is beaten to the punch by some unknown (hot) wizard.

This avenue cut off, the Ascendent makes the decision to try and win Rosalie back.

Astarion advises that to make her come back to the Gate, he should murder a bunch of people. Because this comes from the soul, not the soulless devil nothingness, it circumvents the pact.

...The events of Pieces begin!

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And finally - the Ascendent tries to destroy Jar!Starion for many reasons in Chapter 19:

The Ascendent knows that it dies, if the soul and the body get reunited (or is that constant high alert survival instinct just no longer needed, because the problem is fixed? you decide.)

The Ascendent values Tav above itself. Tav is going to fix them. Astarion believes he could never fix himself.

Dissociation - that soul isn't me. I'm here, looking at my soul. If I get too close, it'll kill me.

Self-hatred - that soul isn't me. That man made a mistake, and I've had to live with the consequences. He doesn't deserve to live, for what he's made me become.

The knowledge that Rosalie/Tav will only ever want that version of him, not the one that's living and breathing, that sees itself as the most wretched, fucked-up version of itself. So... give them no choice. They have to deal with me and love me at my worst.

And if the Rite didn't work - if the version of the Ascendent walking around isn't the best one, and the one people want... what was it all for? Why does the Ascendent feel like this? Why does it have to suffer?

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....And, that's my little meta post! If anyone has any questions about the timeline or any motivations at any points in the fic, I'm obviously more than happy to explain things via ask/comment, as always!

TLDR: I just wanted to make a Gothic horror. I wanted a dark romance, fucked up obsession vampire/mortal dynamic, but I also wanted a situation that was scary for both Astarion and my Tav. I personally think an Astarion who is so dissociated and separate from reality that he feels that in his bones daily, is scary. It's the lingering impact of the traumas the Rite and those 7,000 souls embodied.

I was literally just trying to make it a horror, for everyone involved.

[kotton-kandy953]

━ 𝚂𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙴

➛ yandere!male headcannons × fem/gn!reader

title page┆word count: 0.2k┆warnings: second-person pronouns, kidnapping, murder, obsessive behavior, stalking, yandere themes┆a/n: I accidentally deleted the request I got for this post D: I’m so sorry!!

general ! yandere ! shuichi saihara x g/n ! reader hc’s

❝ I don’t deserve you…❞

As a yandere, Shuichi Saihara would be too scared to admit his unwavering love for you… especially if you both were friends. What if his confession brought an awkward tension between your friendship? What if you rejected him?? With those thoughts plaguing his mind, he results to the most logical response in his mind. Stalking.

He'd follow you home/to the dormitory every night and wait for you outside of the building to wake up every morning. At night, he’d watch you from a window, soaking in the view of your sleeping form. And of course he wouldn’t dare glance away as you changed into your clothes every morning. You were just so perfect.

And of course, Shuichi feels horribly guilty while doing so. You’re a human being with emotions and feelings… but he’s already gotten into the habit of doing it. He’s just so addicted to you.

Even with his unhealthy obsession, Shuichi would never murder anyone. Or… that’s what he wants you to believe. Of course, their deaths wouldn’t be anything too brutal such as bludgeoning or being tortured. He doesn’t care for their suffering. He just wants them to disappear.

And as for kidnapping? I believe that Shuichi would keep you locked in his own home. In the deep fear that you’ll run away and report him to authorities, he’ll keep you chained up until you’ve completely gained his trust. Or better yet, if you return his love.

These are my Shuichi hc’s! I hope you enjoy them, anon asked for this! (Again, I am sorry D:)

back to title page

[chaoticbardlady99]

Fluff of companion pairing of your choice taking care of each other after a really hard fought battle (not related to their own personal quests), maybe when one of them went down or was severely wounded. Both feeling like they aren't "enough".

Needing space from everyone else, but realizing that being near each other was still okay. Soft words, tenderness. Safety, security, wholeness.

As the World Caves In (Karlach x Shadowheart)

Author note- I’m so sorry, this has been sitting in my inbox for a hot minute but I really wanted to feel confident. I’ve only romanced Astarion, but I’ve watched quite a bit of Karlach and Shadowheart content and I’m OBSESSED WITH THEM! So I hope you enjoy :) I definitely think I didn’t go the direction you were thinking, but this just flowed better for me.

P.S. lightly edited

CW: mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, mentions of Astarion x Tav

Picture from Kazuliski’s YouTube video about Karlach’s dinner date.

Karlach gently strokes Shadowheart’s hair as she sleeps soundly against Karlach’s chest. Shadowheart tells her the warmth from her engine soothes her to sleep like no other herb can. She also appreciates the white noise which made Karlach laugh so hard she peed herself when Shadowheart said it initially.

Karlach wishes it would help her sleep tonight too.

It had been an incredibly difficult day at Last Light Inn- Marcus had been a surprise for all of them. Shadowheart had been the first to make contact with the monsters he brought with him. Shadowheart had frozen- in the midsts of a religious crisis- and was struck down. Three of the creatures had descended on her as she screamed for help. Karlach had killed them all in swift, swinging blows, but the damage had been done. Karlach was grateful Isobel hadn’t been taken- she isn’t sure if Shadowheart would have recovered without her.

The moment Shadowheart sat upright and gasping for air was the same moment Karlach swept her up- the two of them crying while holding one another. Karlach supposes that you don’t accidentally walk into fear- to some extent everything must have some reason. She’s decided that fear finds you, hunts you for sport, and it makes a home in your heart. Karlach never thought she would ever feel that scared again in her life after Zariel had shoved the infernal engine in her body, but all that suffering had been ripped out and put on display again the moment Shadowheart began to scream for help. It certainly hasn’t gone away since- it’s only grown and created more worries.

Karlach is suffering from her own internal chatter. Almost losing Shadowheart today made her affection for her become slightly melancholy. She realized she doesn’t want to live without Shadowheart, but she is going to have to. Karlach will be in the Fugue plane all alone while she watches Shadowheart have a life.

At the beginning of the journey, the idea of dying a free woman at the end of this giant debacle was a tolerable thought. She wants to believe that she will be able to explore with Tav, Shadowheart, and the rest of their companions after this is all over. Karlach even imagines a world where her and Shadowheart live together- going on double dates with Tav and Astarion, becoming properly reacquainted with Baldur’s Gate together, and maybe one day she could even convince Shadowheart to adopt a couple children. They could grow old together, go on dinner dates, explore the world, and just be in love for as long as the Gods would allow them to be.

Karlach isn’t that lucky though and that’s what drives the tears down her face. She stiffles the sobs in her chest as Shadowheart continues to snore- not wanting to wake up her healing Wonder Woman.

It hurts to know when this is all over that everyone else will get to move on and she will simply cease to exist. Shadowheart will move on and have a life with someone else one day- Karlach will be nothing but a distant memory.

She doesn’t want that- not even a little bit. It makes her even more angry with Gortash than she was before. He really took everything from her at the end- even her future.

Astarion and Tav sit together at the fire, talking excitedly, and as happy as Karlach is for them, she can’t help but be incredibly envious. Astarion frequently worries that his inability to be out in the sun after this will scare Tav off- at least he won’t instantaneously combust. Also Tav is half-Drow, she could probably give a shit less about being in the sun anyway.

She didn’t realize that her sobs had become more aggressive.

Karlach doesn’t want to die. She thought she lost Shadowheart today and it felt like the whole world had caved in on her. Now she has to prepare herself to look her love in the eyes one last time as she takes her last breaths too?

It’s so Gods Damn unfair it makes her chest hurt.

“Karlach?”

Shadowheart is propped up and staring up at her with concern. Karlach tries to smile and just breaks into a fit of crying again. She sits up and pulls Shadowheart into her lap- the smaller female’s face resting in the crook of Karlach’s neck.

“What’s wrong, K?” Shadowheart whispers softly while rubbing Karlach’s back.

“I- I though- I lost you and I just,” Karlach chokes on her words, “I don’t want to die, Shadowheart. I want to stay here with you and grow old and senile together.”

The silence in the air isn’t uncomfortable or daunting- it’s melancholy and pessimistic. The grief is all consuming.

“I don’t want you to die either, K,” Shadowheart says, her own tears streaming now, “I have never met someone like you and I don’t think I ever will again.”

“You will,” Karlach says with a choked laugh, “and you’ll forget all about me.”

Shadowheart has Karlach’s face in her hands and is kissing her- hard- before looking at her with the most adorable, angry face Karlach has ever seen.

“That will never happen,” Shadowheart scolds, “and don’t you ever speak those words again or I’ll- I’ll….”

Shadowheart sits and thinks for a second- looking past Karlach’s shoulder with her eyebrows furrowed before shrugging her shoulders.

“I don’t actually know what I would do, but I can and will turn you into a sheep if that’s what it takes to never hear you say that again.”

“I’ll just keep BAAING until you change me back, you know.”

“Then I suppose we’re having lamb chops one night for dinner.”

Karlach laughs loudly and Shadowheart joins in- leaning her forehead against Karlach’s. When their laughter dies down, they just sit there and breathe each other in.

Shadowheart reminds Karlach of a walk at night under a full moon, but right after it rains- when the dew makes the grass sparkle and the world looks like magic.

Shadowheart is magic. She makes Karlach feel like she could do anything. Karlach would lay her life on the line a thousand times over for Shadowheart and never regret it. Shadowheart could betray her and Karlach would still thank her for their time together. How lucky is Karlach to have a chance at love at all? Maybe that’s not worth throwing away in spite of how scared shitless she is to end up in Zariel’s hands again.

“The only way I will survive,” Karlach whispers, “is if I go back to Avernus. Wyll offered to go with me and like that’s great and all, but…. It’s- he’s not you.”

Shadowheart’s delicate, callused fingers wipe away the ghosts of Karlach’s tears before she leaves a lingering kiss on Karlach’s forehead.

“I love you, Karlach. I want you to live, but I also don’t want to take your choice from you,” Shadowheart says with conviction, “if you want to, I will go with you to Avernus and we will find a way to fix your heart. Then we can come back and be as old and senile as you want. Deal?”

It’s Karlach’s turn to surprise Shadowheart with a kiss. Her hands glide up the back of Shadowheart’s shirt and Karlach relishes in the way Shadowheart melts into her chest. Her hands glide up Karlach’s chest and over her shoulders- connecting loosely behind her neck. Shadowheart hums happily as Karlach kisses her jaw and the sensitive skin on her neck before kissing her lips again.

Karlach had sworn she would never go back to Avernus. She would never give Zariel the chance to hurt her again, but if being afraid and on the run is the price to pay for a working heart and a life with Shadowheart- well it might just be fucking worth it.

“Deal,” Karlach whispers.

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi. Sorry to bother you, Sophie. But I need some advice. I need to know if I might have accidentally created a tulpa. Because I’m panicking.

There’s this character. That I hyperfixated on. I suffer from psychosis, and my episodes have been getting increasingly worse. One of my coping mechanisms has been projecting all of my problems onto a character and subsequently obsessing over them. I made this version of them that lived inside my head that I would just monologue to while pacing around the room and gesturing wildly to the air. I idolized them. Made them real to me. Pretended to be them for the sense of power I got.

Recently I’ve been having some very… weird interactions with that character and their source material. I don’t know how much detail I want to go into, or if I’m even able to explain. I thought it might have just been my psychosis acting up. But things got really weird today, and it culminated with me self-harming. I took a shower with some lavender to calm down, and now I’m messaging you because you’re tumblr’s prime expert on tulpas.

The idea that this character might live inside my head now, permanently… that is scary. For one, they don’t deserve that. They’re awesome and amazing and definitely don’t deserve to be stuck inside a scrawny psycho. For two, do they carry over all of the mental issues that I heaped onto them as a coping mechanism? I don’t have the mental fortitude to handle that. As was demonstrated today. For three, what if they hate me? For accidentally getting them stuck here?

I don’t know. If you could direct me to any resources that would be great.

First, sorry for taking a while to get to this.

If this anon was you...

I've just had a lot of asks over the past week, and it's hard to keep up with them all. My inbox is currently at 235, and sometimes I'll go to bed and wake up to see I have 7 new asks. (Though some are duplicates.)

I try to keep up with them, but things can get lost.

That said, I realize this was an important one, so I'm sorry about that.

Although, if the second anon isn't the first one and those are unrelated... then yeah, Tumblr ate it. 🤷‍♀️

...

Anyway, I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I know it's confusing and stressful.

I'm not too educated on psychotic disorders and how they might influence plurality, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

But there are aspects of your story that seem familiar to myself as a tulpa. When you mention this...

Pretended to be them for the sense of power I got.

It sounds similar to how my host thought of me when we started our proto-switching. It wasn't for a sense of power, but to understand the character he was writing better. But he would often "pretend to be me" to get into that sort of mindset.

Thinking back, I think what was happening was at least a little bit dissociative, where he would "become" me for a time. I don't consider this the same as our full switches that we learned later. But they were at least partial switches or blending.

I wonder if something similar might be going on here.

For two, do they carry over all of the mental issues that I heaped onto them as a coping mechanism?

All your headmates share a brain. If there are mental issues present, then they're going to affect all your headmates. Regardless of whether you feel that you gave those issues to them.

But I think that's okay. If you think about created headmates like children in this regard, I don't subscribe to the idea that people with genetic disorders shouldn't reproduce because their children could inherit those. I'm speaking as someone whose host's father has schizophrenia. And so I see no issue with making headmates just because those headmates might have mental problems as well.

I don’t have the mental fortitude to handle that. As was demonstrated today.

I don't believe that. Discovering a headmate is always scariest in the beginning. But you get used to it over time. And not really a lot of time either. A month down the road, and there's a good chance that being plural will feel normal. At least relatively to how it feels now.

You had a bad day. But you can move forward. A bad day, or even a few bad days, doesn't define you.

And maybe you'll find that you can be even stronger together. Some tulpa systems have reported that having a tulpa helped them deal with their psychosis, even helping them tell when they might be having a hallucination or delusion from it.

For three, what if they hate me? For accidentally getting them stuck here?

You didn't really get them stuck there. You just... created them. It's not like they would be somewhere else if you hadn't made them, despite what their exo-memories might tell them. If they're a tulpa, they wouldn't exist without you. You gave them a life. And that's cool.

I can't speak for your tulpa. But maybe you should let them speak for themselves and discuss your thoughts with them like adults.

I think it's unlikely that they'll hate you for making them. If they do though, all you can do is try to do better by them. Repairing a relationship isn't always easy, but you can with work.

And since you clearly care about them, I think the work would be worth it.

I might recommend this guide on how to be the best host you can to get started.

Wishing you both better days to come! 💖

[minquiec]

the ways in which you talk to me jia shows love to hb specifically

Hey god

It's me

Y'know

Again

I'm rlly going crazy w these lately and I don't Know Why but uhhmmmrhrm these were just scenarios I thought of that I think is cute so 🧍

I'm really obsessed!1!1 with this sleeping theme recently?? But anyways here we goes

Imagine if like hobie can't stand sleeping in the heat

Like he hates sleeping in hot temperatures and it drives him insane he hates it so much that it makes it hard to sleep and makes him even more restless than usual (ref my last post that I made)

and he also hates it cause he can't cling to jia as more cause EUEUUGEHH ITS TOO HOT but gf is too far ☹️☹️☹️💔💔

But anyways the scenario was he accidentally slept over at jia's and caught the summer heat in her world at it's WORST (cause I think china summers are hotter than eeenngland?? Idk it was a 2 minute google search don't trust me)

Bro was fucking going thru the motions

Actual suffering it was badddd for him and he thought it was bad back at home

And so it's like maybe 1:26 am in the morning and he's feeling way delirious and semi asleep but also not cause he feels like literal shiet with half a foot in hell

low-key sulking in his semi sleep cus it's so uncomfortable

And jia can't stand it!!! She hates seeing him so uncomfortable it makes her ☹️ awe

So what does she do except start quietly rummaging thru her drawers and closets to finddddd

A fan 🎉🎉🎉 yayyy

And if ur wondering no it's not those folding fans

IT LOOKS LIKE THIS

The design is very human, much wind very good

But anyways while he's marinating in his own sweat she also tiptoes to the bathroom to get a basin of water and a cloth

And armed with a fan and a basin she returns back to bed

And then,,,,ueueueueu UEGRHEH SNJFJEBJE

she'd start fanning him while up at 1 in the morning, occasionally swapping to the basin of water to wipe at his wayyy over heated skin like his face or back etc

(not rlly related but YKNOW WHO SHE LEARNT THIS FROM her grandma pwfhshsh y'know the ones who's DEAD cause she did the same for jia when she first arrived)

This isn't as big as the other one but it's still cute to me is she peels fruit for him

(the way she shows love is jsut very,,asian 😭😭😭)

I thought this cause to me ngl the idea of peeling fruits is soo

It's soooo

💔💔

Cause like imagine a mandarin right (or clementines or oranges idk the difference I'm not a fruit)

Usually when you peel for yourself you'd wanna remove the white fibers in between just because it's nicer to eat that way

If you were to offer bits of your mandarin to someone you're not that close to, you'd probably lowkey half ass it or even just give them half with the peel still attached 😭 (I'm jk)

BUT if it was for someone u care abt

You'd wanna put in the same effort you put into peeling as if it was for yourself

AND ITS JUST THE IDEA OF LOVING SOMEONE IN SUCH A MUNDANE AND SIMPLE WAY

I'm gone ugh

But yes jia peels fruits for hobie

That's it for now I'll probably wake up at one again some other time to add to this

[progmetol]

Engineer HCs #2

The Gunslinger and OCD Edition (trust me, they’re related). Below the cut

After like, a year, I have wrote the long awaited (not) sequel to my first post and wish to discuss these two topics. Starting with the Gunslinger. Which if you are reading this, I will assume you are familiar with its lore. But to tl;dr, it was a prosthetic hand designed by Dell’s grandfather, Radigan Conagher, who’s design for it was buried with him. Dell eventually unearthed this schematic when Blutarch Mann did a little grave robbing, and then it is heavily *implied* that Dell sliced his own hand off so that he could wear a Gunslinger of his own making.

But as emphasized, this is just an implication: is it true? Who knows. But I propose a couple of twists that could be applied to this idea that do not invalidate it.

1. What if Dell actually didn’t cut his hand off, but simply CLAIMS he did? I propose that it is far more likely that Dell might have accidentally lost his hand outside of the proximity of base where it would be nonrecoverable. Considering Dell’s rationality and practical mindset, he would absolutely know that cutting his hand off is a bad idea, which makes the idea of it being an accident plausible.

Dell suffers with anxiety and accompanying insecurities when it comes to things outside of his intelligence (hc). His appearance, his personality, etc. His whole life he was primarily praised for his academic prowess and intelligence, which made him more insecure about his less oft complimented parts. Especially when he works around two egomaniacs daily (Spy and Medic). Is Dell going to admit he made a mistake and lost his hand? No. He chooses to tell the team that he did it deliberately to hide weakness. And though the more mentally sound, at first, raise an eyebrow, they realize they are surrounded by maniacs and perhaps not everyone is as they seem, even the Engineer. They presume he is ill like the rest and go about their days. OR they believe his bullshit, you decide. I think it’d be more on a case by case basis. Spy thinks he’s crazy, Soldier thinks this is some 4D chess play… you get the drill.

And then 2. The idea behind the second origin story is that Dell, indeed, DID cut his hand off in an abrupt and impulsive act to redeem himself. With the same insecurities from above in mind, Dell often has obsessions that he is not up to the standards he could be— and impulsively jumps to irrationality. Like cutting your hand off to be like your successful super genius grandfather. And immediately regretting it and spiraling into a short lived depression. What fun.

But he lives and learns. This was a wake up call to Dell, knowing he was mentally unwell if he acted on an intrusive thought of this caliber. Not to show weakness, he embraces his mistakes. Sure, Medic could maybe have fixed it, but this was Dell’s fault alone and he’d carry the weight of his consequences. A reminder to keep himself in check, mentally and physically. And that being perfect is not a reasonable expectation for anyone, even an astute man such as himself.

Now as for both of these headcanons, I am not certain which I myself abide by, despite having came up with both. Though for a long time I liked the first one, the second one has become very intriguing to me. So I’d like to see what y’all think, or if y’all have any different ideas. There’s a lot more depth that could be put into this but for the sake of an articulate post I tried to omit any unnecessary wordiness.

Have fun.

[delusion-of-negation]

what's your favorite thing about yandere stories? like what type of characters do you like, what kind of scenes/situations do you like reading etc.

okay so my all time favourite is happy sugar life. idek how to say what's great about it. um. basically. she kidnaps a child. and the characters are all traumatised and then traumatising others as a result in many cases. and it ends in tragedy. and it's just. perfect because, like, there's a movie I also love called the voices (I think genuinely it's one of the bestest movies ever made) and it's ryan reynolds playing a schizophrenic man, who accidentally kills the women he works with, and you never know what's real. like, that movie is almost constantly bright and cheerful and goofy, while occasionally, very very occasionally, giving you a few seconds of reality, of the abused animals in the bloody flat, and it sticks this niggling feeling in your head that you can't trust anything. and it genuinely feels like that in happy sugar life too - if you watch the opening credits, there's a short bit when hands are moving a kid then it flickers to negative colours and she looks scared. and the murder scenes in the show are often covered by the scribbing it conveys panic with, or cuts away, or whatever, so the gore takes somewhat of a back seat (contrary to my usual love of gore) but allowing your imagination to go wild. and while I loved making a goofy yandere headcanon about the silly "____ has fallen" action movies a while back, and relentless violence, and all that. there's honestly no better genre to take the most fucked up person, like pedophile girls with co-dependency issues, give them a knife, to watch and see what happens. and I love that for them. show me something that makes me question my grasp of reality. like that similarly is why I like the film annihilation, and cosmic horror, it's wonderful to take some alien that doesn't even think like us, if it thinks at all, and give it the power to destroy everything. and we watch some poor folks suffer the consequences. a lot of things I absolutely adore boil down to "wouldn't it be fucked up if", as an initial idea, then "yes and... yes and... yes and..." all going deeper, deeper, and deeper into the implications of each tiny detail. that would be my favourite thing, my favourite trope, etc. cosmic will perfectly use that on a large scale, on a reality bending scale, so yandere is, to me, doing what body horror does to bodies, but to romance, sexuality, love, and relationships. you take the "what if organs were crawling inside of you" and apply it to "what if your inability to stop thinking about them made you blind to reality in extreme ways", it's like berenice by poe, the way his obsession is destroying his life until he wakes up having stolen her teeth. like breaking apart something pure and good, and showing you that thing if it wasn't good... but you still thought it was. I think that I generally feel frustrated by how people criticise yandere like "do fucking sickos like you not understand this is wrong???" my guy, literally two of the most famous ones are happy sugar life and of course doki doki literature club - both, very explicitly, horror. it is literally a horror genre first and foremost, romance second. we'd understand that horror comedy doesn't mean "all real life killing makes me laugh", so why can't y'all see yandere is a complicated interaction of genres, greater than the sum of their parts? ugh. I actually could rant for hours. as for like, types of yandere things, mutual obsession in a pseudo-familial way with a side of mutual bloodthirst in defense of the other, particularly if it ends in total tragedy for them and everyone (jinx and silco are perfect, those moments like when he says "you're perfect" as she's killing him I adore, that unconditional love, making each other not better not worse but a secret third thing, it's immaculate). I feel like love is generally seen as untouchable in media, true love's kiss, love will repair everything and make us human, I like when love makes us inhuman, but it's more unconditional and pink and sparkly than anybody with moral codes stronger than their heart will ever go.

[disclaimer: I am mentally ill stfu if you wanna act like portraying symptoms like psychosis, which I have, in horror is always some stigmatising or harmful thing, the voices is cleverly done and it's endlessly sympathetic to him, don't judge a book by its cover ig]

[a-mess-of-a-crow]

RED MASS

This post will explain a bit about the lore of my undertale AU Red Mass.

((and long))

So. Here we go.

Red Mass is a fictional horror fan game where the war between monsters and humans has not happened yet, but it is on the edge to.

_____________________________________________

It is a cold war, fights between smaller human and monster groups happen on the daily, humans build weapons against monsters in secret, and the fear of an attack causes monsters to try and find something stronger to defeat them instead.

Gaster, at the time a renounced scientist, a Prodigy of his time, was tasked to invent a weapon, strong enough to defeat humanity when they attacked monster kind. And after humans presumably killed his wife, he was more than willing to eradicate them all.

It has been said that when a human and a monster soul combined, they will become a god.

And so, it was Gasters mission to create this god.

But first he has to find suitable souls.

The game would have begone with the player playing frisk, a human, who was captured by Gaster for their magic, they possessed fire AND metal magic, which was something he has never experienced before. Frisk was captured as a child, but over the years grew into an adult.

They are trapped in the underground facility, forced to fight and strengthen themselves, to level up, not just their stats but also to raise their LOVE.

But at one point in the game, you switched position.

With sans (in this AU he is Gasters son), who somehow got stuck in this dilemma, with a father who is more than mentally unstable, seeking unreasonable revenge for the death of his wife.

Papyrus, his younger brother, willingly agreed to help his father achieve his dream. He becomes obsessed with gaining power and becoming the god who slaughters human kind.

In the game, as you play to try and escape, encountering horrible failed experiences, misshapen creatures, not human or monster, you discover a way out as Frisk and sans.

Throughout the endless torture, Sans has gained the ability to eat dust and souls, temporarily receiving the power of the soul he ate.

That would help him escape.

Frisk however could use sans as leverage against his father to hold him hostage and secure their own freedom.

Neither of them know that the plans wouldn't have worked. The facility is highly secured, anti-magic security embedded everywhere.

And Gaster is too cruel to let one human escape, cause a commotion and perhaps even starting the war if the humans would find out what is happening.

The game would have had multiple endings.

In the fight between them, they accidentally free the monstrous creatures that were held captive who destroy the facility, Frisk, Sans and Gaster and everyone with them. Everyone there is dead but everyone else would continue off living.

It would have been the best ending.

But that is not what happened.

Gaster has created a God. But it wasn't part of the game and that god wasn't a god that is easily influencable.

Red Mass was a God of pure determination. Who experienced FEAR and HATE.

They FEARS all the suffering and pain is could get, the consequences of their actions.

They HATES everyone responsible for its suffering. And they will make sure that there is noone left to hurt them.

In a mixture of blind rage and absolute terror, the Game was no more. But that wasn't enough.

There was nothing but HATE AND FEAR inside them.

And so one timeline after the the other dissappeared. Until there was nothing left.

No AU. Nothing.

Just a void.

Where Frisk and Sans wake up in. With nothing but confusion of how they got there.

_____________________________________________

And that's basically the extremely cut introduction of the prequel!

And with extremely cut I mean EXTREMELY CUT.

So after that whole wacky mess, Frisk and Sans explore the Multiverse, meet other undertale AU characters, completely different Universes with their own stories to tell and people to meet.

After plenty of wandering around in the wide space of everything, Frisk decided to settle down and build themselves a home in the Anti-void. 'A canvas of infinite possibilities' they said.

Sans helped them build a city, for others who were lost without a home. Refugees, misfits and other people of all color and shape gathered to create a place to call home.

((cringe name incoming))

The city of 'Paradise' as the citizens named it, is a symbol of hope for those who try and find an answer of what they can do with their life.

It's also a place to live without discrimination or judgement. A place to gather knowledge and share it.

Of course taking care of literally millions of people isn't a job for 2 people alone.

So Sans, who has been so incredibly bored with everything and has been building little machines in his free time, decides to build some robots to help them.

And his endless creativity gave them names.

Vera, Bun, Cupcake, Celery, Zinc, Kat (Copy cat) And Shade.

((Quick description))

Vera (Aloe Vera) He takes care of the foraging and food supply

Bun (Bunny) He takes care of animals and also food supply

Cupcake He is responsible for processing the food, he is a baker

Celery She is the cook

Zinc She is responsible for constructions, science and engineering

Kat (Copy cat) She is a social worker, as her name indicates, she is actually a hive mind and has multiple bodies all working in the social aspect of the city

And Shade. He is the right hand of both Frisk and Sans, he has been programmed to help the both in improving their fighting skills, but also he is responsible for outside ordeals, such as trading with other parties

So those were like, the main side characters.

If you are STILL INTERESTED after all of this, then please leave a comment if you got questions or ask directly, but I will make more posts explaining Frisk and Sans and the main World building and what the fuck kinda bullshit this is.

Oh and why Dee is named Dee and has an obsession with rubber ducks and why Frisk hates it when Dee called them Bee.

Beedee hehe

I hope you had Fun btw :)

[the0ldmann]

My brain has decided whenever it tries to dream and Astarion is there, it is going to accidentally wake itself up with excitement.

Hello?!?! Wtf bro! This dream was your idea! The obsession was your idea! You literally have never bothered to dream about any other obsession or blorbo ever, but oh, the bland looking generic elf that happens to be a vampire catches your attention one night because you took one longer look and guess his backstory correctly, and now you act like a little school girl?? Piss off I hate you why must you make me suffer like this-

*has not been sleeping well because of Astarion brainrot*

[scarlet-ancunin]

Hi! I absolutely love your desire fanfics and I was hopping you could write one for me.

The idea is that the reader and desire have been together for a while but because Desire is so obsessed with getting Dream to spill family blood, the reader starts to feel neglected. So the reader has to tell Desire that they feel abandoned.

Thank you and have a nice day/night!

Also could I be Vixen Anon?

of course Vixen Anon, here is your mini Headcanon will mix with another request from @the-masked-scorpio

Their request: Desire accidentally snapping at reader maybe desire is stressed with their siblings specifically dream and reader being the great s/o they try to be funny to cheer them up but desire tells them to shut up reader is like "right sorry I won't bother you anymore I'll be with Cain and Abel if you need me".

Gonna be depressing for a bit before better be aware.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Please Don't Forget Me

love was all you felt for Desire, it was unconditional and you Knew Desire felt the same about you.

Everything was going well for both of you since Desire asked their sibling if she can make you immortal to remain by their side.

Death being surprised by this especially since Desire was definitely the cruelest sibling out of all of them could fall in love with anyone.

She granted their wish and they thanked her before leaving to see you once more.

Of course it everything was going beautiful and perfect for 100 years until Desire found out Dream, their older brother escaped.

Thats when they stopped talking to you for long periods of time. you felt your heart ached whenever you tried to talk to Desire and the only thing said was

"Later y/n" or "not now y/n" you looked away sadly and walked away sitting in the room once more. You wanted them to be with you why did they have to be so determined to bother their older brother.

At one point you decided maybe making Desire laugh or forget can help them not be so stressed about their mission or not focus so much on it.

Even if you can get them to laugh or smile would be enough for you. So you found Desire one day in their heart gallery pacing and thinking.

"Desire i have an idea why not just mess up dreams realm with random things like trashing the place" you grin. you proceeded to say another funny idea until Desire snapped looking at you

"Y/N SHUT UP" they said noticing you went silent quickly before looking away. "I-im sorry I'll just go i won't bother you anymore."

"Then leave your annoying me" they said turning away and picking up their twin siblings sigil as you walk away you could hear them summoning their twin sister.

You went to visit Cain and Abel for a bit their dragon playing with you but after a while you went back to the threshold you stopped from entering the heart gallery when you could hear Desire complaining about your idea being stupid and annoying "they always say stupid things instead of helping"

"Maybe it was meant to be that way to help you twin brother, they dont like you stressed" she would say sadly but listened to them complain more.

"I dont have time for games I want my big brother to know his place and trashing his Kingdom won't do that...so useless"

You felt your heart sink and unfortunately Despair could feel it strongly looking over. "What is it?" Desire asked their twin. "I thought i felt something...continue" they mumbled they knew it was you but for some reason they didn't want to see you suffer since they actually liked you.

You walked out of their threshold and into the waking world once more.

You look up seeing the clouds look just as gloomy as you felt. The first droplets of sadness against your cheek.

You started to wonder if it was the rain at this point or your own tears streaming down your face. You walked towards your home getting to your door in a soaking mess but someone met you their.

"Death? Why are you here" you asked glad it was raining because you can blame the rain for you soaked face and slightly red trimmed eyes.

"How are you doll" she asked. She helped you inside since you did buy some things to try and num the pain of missing Desire.

"I'm doing great" you said half heartedly looking at her smiling weakly. But that mask had a crack of reality the moment they mentioned Desire.

"W-we are doing great Death thanks for asking" you turned away "you can't lie to me dear we spend to much time together so i do know when your not okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"N-no i don't" your voice cracked and your longing and anger was mixing together a perfect combination to catch a certain Endless attention.

Death looked over seeing Desire there suddenly looking at you they wasn't smiling.... No, they was smiling but it was not noticeable. "My sister we can talk later if you like I would like to spend time with Y/n."

Death nods saying of course but she heard you scoff and so did Desire who looked at you darkly for a moment and you could feel your heart beat faster and the urge was becoming stronger as you grabbed a glass cup squeezing it so tight that it cracked. Why? Why was Desire......you felt nothing but hatred in that moment, you wanted Desire to know how much you was mad at them for ignoring you, for neglecting you....for being mean and hurting you..

Your shatter the glass and it fell to the ground making you wince slightly seeing the cut on your palm.

While looking at it your tears fell once more. Suddenly their chest was pressed against your back and their hand held the one that was bleeding. They made you look at them and smile small at you.

"Im sorry y/n i didn't mean to ignore you this much or belittle you...you are important to me-"

You shoved them away "y-you have a funny way of showing it... i heard what you said how useless i am to you how much i get in the way of your stupid plans" you spat. Their eyes widen.

"I given up everything to be with you because i love you so, so much and it hurts." You said and threw a pillow at them to which they slapped away effortlessly.

"Y/n i didn't mea-" you cut them off swiftly "but you did it anyway! Why did you make me immortal so i can watch you do stupid things that can lead to something awful happening to you!"

"Why do you have to ignore me so much just because your stupid brother is free again he is stuck in his ways but that has nothing to do with you!" you shouted.

Desire agreed that Dream was stupid but he knew the situation was treading on dangerous ground. They didn't want to lose You.

Desire pulled you close suddenly and let you hit their chest crying a heartbroken cry "don't forget me please, I-i don't want to be alone a-again" you cried.

If Desire never knew what sadness felt like they did now seeing you broken like this in the edge of despair all because of them.

They felt their chest ache and they kept saying im sorry over and over making you look at them by placing their hands on your face kissing you deeply and passionately. "Shh y/n i promise i will try to be there i don't ever want you thinking i will forget you again your mine and mine alone and i want nothing more then to give you everything you long for. You are my perfect lover and i will always desire you and nothing else."

You looked at them eyes slightly puffy and sniffing your bottom lip pouting just a bit and shaking a bit.

Desire had to admit that expression was actually adorable but they decided to keep that to themself.

"I won't leave you i promise y/n....I love you so much." They said softly taking your hand in theirs.

"Come home with me...please"

"Of course my love" you said softly sniffing and rubbing yours eyes tiredly.

Desire sighs softly picking you up watching you cling to them and immediately falling asleep tiring yourself out.

"Oh my love....I will never let you cry like this again" they said returning back to their Threshold

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Taglist: @justaproudslytherpuff , @sherazyjade , @the-masked-scorpio , @sugakookieswithacupoftae16 , @happilydangerousworld , @harlekin6

[cactusspatz]

March recs

All Star Wars again! I did a lot of reading-by-author last month, so for a few I’ve fully-recced my favorite and then listed other reads below. Cheating, I know, but I do what I want! Five recs (+ author bonus recs) above the cut, seven underneath.

Flotsam and Jetsam by @glimmerglanger (Cody/Obi-Wan)

A creature had not washed out of the sea to garner the hungry attention of the birds. A man lay sprawled across the sands, though he was not, Obi-Wan noted, cold spreading down his arms to his hands and through his guts, quite a man in the way Obi-Wan had grown to expect.

He looked...as expected from perhaps the waist up, though he was face-down in the sand, so it was hard to be sure. His back was broad; he had one arm stretched out across the sand, fingers - webbed fingers - curled loosely, sand sticking to his dark skin.

OR, the merman!Cody with shell-shocked and living-by-the-sea Obi-Wan fic.

I loved this so much I’ve already read it twice! It really struck the perfect balance between ‘make this character suffer’ and ‘make this character competent’ that I crave as a h/c aficionada, on top of being a gorgeous romance and wrenching story about war and trauma and loneliness. I would honestly recommend this to anyone, as it’s quite accessible even if you’re unfamiliar with canon.

also by this author: glimmerglanger has a ton of great work, especially if you like h/c, kink, and AUs (canon and otherwise), and I did plow my way through their entire backlog last month with delight, but some favorites:

(hit me) with your heart - in which Cody accidentally walks in on Obi-Wan and figures out some of his kinks; hilarious, then hot, and then an unique Order 66 fix-it A Treatise on Breaking and Repairs - very good but brutal AU post-ROTS where Vader captures and tortures Obi-Wan using mind-controlled Cody and the 212th, but with plenty of catharsis and comfort to balance the hurt Make Your Bed (Lie in It) - Cody/Obi-Wan bedsharing during the war: pining, hurt/comfort, and then an Order 66 AU (but not full fix-it) For Safekeeping - this is probably not to exeryone's tastes but I'm mildly obsessed with this weirdly sweet Sith AU a/b/o Obi-Wan/Cody/212th gangbang? embrace your id, give it a try Standing Vigil - lovely five-things character study by way of Obi-Wan doing bedside vigils over the years

Dielectric Breakdown by @jessepinwheel (gen)

Cody had always believed the best of his General--strong, steadfast, and loyal. That is, until Obi-Wan suddenly assassinated the Supreme Chancellor and vanished without a trace, leaving the Republic scrambling in the fallout.

Five years later, Cody is still trying to pick up the pieces and understand why Obi-Wan betrayed them all.

Prepare to get emotionally wrecked in all the best ways by this story, which is part casefile as Cody investigates and part gorgeous look at the complicated brotherhood of the clones, and their Jedi. Definitely on the bittersweet side since even with the massive tragedy of canon averted, the war left plenty of smaller ones in its wake, but the ending is hopeful and just right.

also by this author - Parallel Processing (gen), in which Obi-Wan from another universe where he stayed in the Agricorps shows up during the Clone Wars. For a story that’s all about kindness and comfort, the differences between the universes will absolutely gut you with feelings.

Melt by @smilebackwards (Din/Luke)

“You haven’t given him your clan signet,” the Armorer says bluntly when Din visits her. Of course the latest episode in his faltering courtship has reached her ears. “Anyone is free to make an offer until a signet is given and accepted.”

“I know,” Din says.

The sequel to Thaw (by @andthepeople) that I 10000% needed in my life! If you have not read Thaw, first PLEASE go treat yourself to that AU where Vader captured Luke after their Cloud City duel, and THEN read this gorgeous followup where Luke has space to heal, rescue Han, and get the best proposal from Din that you could possibly want. <3333

also by this author: first choice, AU series in which the clones get to choose their Jedi generals at the start of the war. SO charming.

The Longest Distance by SpaceWall (Cody/Obi-Wan)

A series of strange dreams lead Cody to question everything he thinks he knows about his past, his present, and his future. Trusting in himself, and those around him, may be the hardest part.

Fix-it by way of Cody getting prophetic dreams! Really good and unique, with the dreams serving as mini-AUs along the way. I loved the friendship that develops between Cody and Anakin in this, which surprised me in the best way.

also by this author: Lost and Found (Cody/Obi-Wan + various), a fun soulmate AU where objects that one soulmate loses show up in the vicinity of the other. This plays out in particularly interesting ways with the clones.

Spring in Hell (and everything's blooming) by blackkat / @blackkatmagic   (Rex/Jon)

Jon Antilles has spent most of the war keeping his head down and staying out of the fighting. But when he and Fay find evidence of a new bioweapon going to production on a Separatist planet, they move to destroy it rather than let it be deployed against the clone armies. Dooku's presence is an unexpected complication, and rather than break cover, Jon lets himself be captured and thrown in the Count's personal dungeon.

He's not the only one there, however. Rex and his men have also been captured, and they're not about to trust a stranger in their midst. Jon has to pick between keeping out of the war the way he has been or rescuing the clones, blowing his cover and losing the freedom he's fought so hard for.

All I know about Jon Antilles comes from Wookiepedia - apparently he was in like one comic? yeah - but this author latched onto him as their h/c darling and I support them because he’s excellent in that capacity and my favorite kind of competent disaster. This particular story is a well-tuned slow burn of trust and care between prisoners as they try to make it through with bodies and souls and family intact.

Fallen Legends by GreySilhouette (gen) - fascinating AU taking off from The Wrong Jedi arc, where Anakin doesn't find Ventress and Obi-Wan ends up breaking Ahsoka out to prevent her execution. A bit open-ended since the author planned a sequel that never happened, but very enjoyable fugitive action-adventure regardless.

Tell Me No Tales by seastruck (Cody/Obi-Wan) - I rarely recommend WIPs, and this one is likely abandoned, but what exists is SO GOOD and ends at a decent point. After his chip breaks, Cody becomes an inside man for the Rebellion, and as he navigates those pitfalls, you slowly discover that this universe is an AU in some really interesting ways. Nails the emotions and action and spy intrigues with equal deftness.

in our hearts some ancient song by whimsicalimages (Cody/Obi-Wan) - in which Fives gets to Cody instead of Anakin, and is listened to. Great plotty fix-it.

Suffer My Devotion by galateaGalvanized (Cody/Obi-Wan) - in which Obi-Wan hiding on Tatooine gets propositioned by a succubus in Cody’s form, and accepts. There’s no dubcon-y deception, just lots of heartbreak and hotness, and eventually some happiness.

The Garden by Zarz (gen) - this story hinges on one hell of a plot device, but follows through on the consequences beautifully and intelligently as the clones all become force sensitive.

walk by faith/tell no one what you've seen by Killbothtwins (gen) - very enjoyable time travel fix-it with Obi-Wan returning to his padawan days. Kind of a fun YA feel, with optimism and adventure and some big splashy battles.

I've Served My Time In Hell by TheSleepingOne (Cody/Obi-Wan) - zombie AU! Loved the dystopia (humans are always a worse danger than the zombies), the pining, and the translation of the Jedi into a modern setting. Don’t bother with the sequel, it’s unfinished and I wasn’t particularly interested by the direction of the plot tbh.

[sugawaraxo]

COCKWARMING THE PRETTY SETTERS

warnings: definitely smut 

characters: tooru oikawa, tobio kageyama, kenma kozume, koshi sugawara

a/n: i’m taking request btw :) my inbox is open. also, this is kinda long so grab your popcorn haha

oikawa

 - oikawa is obsessed with you whether he wants to admit it or not

- which is wild because no one would’ve expected him to ever be more obsessed with anyone other than himself

- but here you are

- and he LOVES being around you 

- just being in your presence makes him all giddy and smiley

- though he does try to compose himself whenever you guys are around his teammates but usually fails 

-  he’s not obsessed in a weird or creepy way, but just enough for you to know that he’s all about you and only you

- and you love it

- and of course oikawa’s obsession with you rings no surprise that he’s obsessed with being inside you 

- as long as he’s close to his pretty y/n, he’s happy

the two of you had just finished a long and strenuous two rounds of sex and were more than ready for bed. but when oikawa got out of bed to get towels for the two of you to clean up with, you felt extremely empty. you were exhausted, that’s for sure. but a big part of you just wanted him filling you up again, even if nothing else happened. you pout, knowing that your attentive boyfriend would notice when he came back, which he did. 

“hm, what’s wrong pretty girl?” he asks softly as he starts to gently clean his mess off of your stomach with a warm towel. 

“i want you inside of me again.” you say in an almost whisper, a little embarrassed by the words that just left your mouth and he laughs lightly. 

“you’re so cute.” he says as he tucks a piece of hair away from your face and gives you a kiss. “but i’m so tired.” he finishes, then plops down on the bed beside you, big spooning you. 

“no, we don’t have to have sex again, i’m exhausted too. i just want you inside me.” you say shyly. you feel his dick twitch behind you and can’t help but smile a little, knowing you’re about to get what you want.

“oh, like cockwarming?” oikawa asks and you nod in response. “hm, ok. yeah, we can do that.” he smiles before kissing your forehead. he was already big spooning you so he was in the perfect position to just slip it in. he pulls down his shorts just enough so that his member could spring free, then pulls the panties that you were wearing under one of his shirts down just enough for him to have access to what he needed. he teases your folds with his tip a little bit, causing you to tense up. then he slowly pushes himself inside you, it not being too difficult with you still being wet from earlier. the two of you moan in unison, both sensitive from your previous interactions. once he’s fully in, he stays there and wraps his arm around your waist as he plants a soft kiss on your shoulder.

“does that feel good? is that ok?” he asks before pressing more soft kisses on your shoulder and your neck.

“it’s perfect.” you coo and he pulls you a little closer with the arm he had slung over your waist.

“goodnight princess.”

“goodnight oikawa.”

- you definitely have morning sex when you wake up

kageyama

- let’s be real here, he really doesn’t know what any kinks are

- he just learns what he likes and what he doesn’t like from you and waits for you to tell him if it’s a kink or not 

- you end up having to tell him that basically anything sexual can be a kink after he keeps asking you “is that a kink?” every time you two do something new in bed 

- you find his lack of knowledge on the subject adorable though, even though you constantly tease him about it 

- he honestly just goes with the flow and follows your lead in terms of sexual things

- not that he’s the submissive one, you just know more about sex so sometimes you have to give him extra guidance

- he doesn’t mind it though, he wouldn’t wanna learn it from anyone else but you

- and you just so happened to teach him his new favorite kink

you two are making out on kageyama’s bed. it starts off innocent at first but slowly progresses into a messier and more heated kiss. you’re on top of him, tugging on his hair while he grips onto your hips. you begin slowly grinding against him causing him to moan softly into your mouth. his sounds were always so pretty and always instantly made your core pulse. you continue grinding on kageyama, giving both yourself and him pleasure. but it isn’t enough. in one swift motion he flips you over so now he’s the one on top. without detaching his lips from yours, he pulls his member out of his pants and lifts up the skirt you’re wearing then slowly pulls down your underwear, revealing your wet core.

“pretty.” he mumbles before licking a teasingly slow and soft stripe up your folds. you moan at the sensation and shut your eyes in pleasure. he continues to please you with his tongue before inserting two fingers into you. it hurts a bit more than usual but you shrug it off because the pleasure outweighs the pain. he continues with this for a few minutes more before he can’t take it anymore and positions himself at your entrance. he slowly begins pushing himself in, but as soon as he’s all the way in, you yelp in pain.

“ow ow ow! stop!” you groan, and kageyama does as told.

“what’s wrong? s-should i take it out?” he asks, concern laced in his voice.

“no no, keep it in just let me adjust to it.” you say. the day before, you and kageyama had some hardcore sex. you had unintentionally somewhat intentionally made him jealous so that he would punish you, and oh that he did. but your poor pussy was suffering the consequences. 

“ok princess, i won’t move. just let me know when you’re ready.” he says softly and you smile at his sweetness. he starts kissing you again, this time more deep and passionate as opposed to the sloppy, heated kiss that got you here in the first place. you were slowly beginning to relax around your boyfriend while he was losing his mind trying not to bust inside of you. something about not moving but still being inside you, feeling you around him. the anticipation. it’s driving him crazy.

“oh no, i’m gonna cum.” he says shyly as he pulls away from the kiss and accidentally cums inside of you. he hides his face in the crook of your neck in embarrasment and you just giggle at him, as that isn’t the first time that’s happened. 

“is, is that a kink? not doing anything, just being inside you? because i think i have that kink.” he mumbles into your shoulder.

“it is actually, it’s called cockwarming.” you say as you gently stroke his hair, trying to relax your still clearly embarrassed boyfriend. 

“hm, well can we never do cockwarming again, that was embarrassing.” he sighs before finally removing his head from the crook of your neck and looking at you.

“i don’t think it was embarrassing baby, i thought it was cute. but if you don’t wanna do it again we don’t have to.” you reassure him and he blushes at your compliment.

“maybe we can do it again sometime then, but for now it’s time to get you cleaned up.” he says before picking you up over his shoulder and taking you to the bathroom. 

kenma

- anyone who knows kenma knows that he is always preoccupied with video games

- whenever he’s playing, it’s fairly difficult to get his attention

- as his girlfriend, you’ve somewhat learned to accept this, even though you would like more attention from your boyfriend

- but you take what you can get, knowing that’s just how kenma is and you wouldn’t ever wanna change him 

- but sometimes you get needy

- really needy 

- and kenma isn’t always the best at reading that

- so you take it upon yourself to get the kind of attention you’re craving from your boyfriend

kenma doesn’t really get flustered too often. but when he does, oh anyone in a ten mile radius can tell. the first time you saw him really get flustered was when he gave you his hoodie while you were out on a date. it had gotten colder than you expected so he gave you his jacket to keep you warm, and as soon as you put it on, the boy went red. he couldn’t even form coherent sentences at first and you thought it was the most hilariously adorable thing ever. ever since that day, you’ve worn his clothes whenever you wanted his attention; hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, you name it. today is one of those days. kenma has been gaming all day in some sort of tournament and you’re beginning to get frustrated because of how badly you’re craving his touch, so you pull out the big guns. you put on one of his favorite hoodies, one that you’ve never worn before, and head into his gaming room. he’s sitting is his gaming chair deep in concentration, shooting at someone and talking to who you assume is kuroo on his headset. he doesn’t even notice you at first until you come sit in his lap, your legs resting on either side of his as you lay your head on his shoulder. 

“hi kitten.” he whispers away from his mic before placing a gentle kiss on your lips and you hum in response. you played with the hair at the nape of his neck for a little bit before your overwhelming feeling of neediness comes back. you lift your head from kenma’s shoulder, now somewhat blocking his view of his computer screen.

‘i want to feel you inside me’ you mouth to him. he hadn’t even realized what you were wearing until right then, and his cheeks blush bright red. he places a finger under your chin and uses it to pull you in for a kiss. “go for it.” he whispers to you as he pulls away, reverting his attention back to his game that he had forgotten about for a quick second. you easily slip his member out of the sweats he’s wearing and give it a few strokes to get him hard. you were wearing absolutely nothing under his hoodie in hopes that this would be the outcome, and when he notices that as he glances from you back to his computer screen every so often, he mumbles 

“dirty little kitten, this is exactly what you wanted hm?” 

“mhmm” you respond and he smiles.

you continue what you’re doing and position kenma’s tip at your hole before slowly sinking down on it. your breath hitches at the feeling of being filled up, while kenma clenches his eyes shut and bites his lip in order to hold back his moans. once he’s fully inside you, you lay your head on his shoulder again and just stay there.

“hm, that’s it? you just wanna cockwarm me?” kenma asks curiously. 

“mhmm. just wanted to feel you inside me, that’s it.” you say sleepily, slowly drifting as you shut your eyes. 

kenma can’t help but smile, “you’re adorable.” he says before planting a kiss on your cheek. you smile a small smile in return before dozing off on kenma’s shoulder, him still buried deep inside you. 

every so often you would move around in your sleep and kenma would have to bite his lip to hold back a moan so the friends he was playing with wouldn’t hear, but it was worth the risk because he loves just being this close to you, and you do too.

sugawara

- suga’s high sex drive really surprised you when you two first started dating

- his kinkiness surprised you too

- you thought he would always be very gentle and vanilla

- but you were very mistaken

- not that you’re complaining though

- he’s always open to trying new things

- so when you bring up the topic of cockwarming, he’s intrigued

“is that something you wanna try bunny?” he asks after you finish explaining to him what exactly cockwarming is.

“we don’t have to if you don’t want to, i just think it’d be interesting to try.” you shrug

“i agree.” he says, before leaning over to start kissing your neck. that’s your weak spot, so you take this as suga saying he wants to try right now. the two of you are currently on the couch, in the middle of watching a romcom but clearly that romcom has been forgotten as suga continues to make little love bites on your neck. you lift his chin to kiss him because you know if you don’t stop him now, he’ll cover your whole body in hickies. the kiss is soft, but passionate and you can feel yourself quite literally melting into it. somehow you end up straddling suga, still lost in the kiss. you suddenly notice a pair of familiar fingers making their way down to your most sensitive area. he teases you, rubbing his fingers over your pajama shorts, knowing you’re getting needy because of the way you’re starting to softly moan into his mouth. he takes this as a sign of you wanting more and breaks away from the kiss so he can take off your shorts and your underwear, with a little bit of help from you. once your bottom half is completely naked, he grins and begins kissing you again. the sensation of your bare core against suga’s sweatpants was teasing you, so you began moving your hips to get some friction. suga moans a little at your sudden movements and you can feel him getting harder. he pushes you up off of him slightly so that he can pull his sweats down, them ending up just hanging around his ankles. now both of your bottom halves are naked, and you’re staring at each other in anticipation.

“sit on it bunny.” suga instructs and you follow his orders, sitting down on his length and feeling every inch against your walls. that feeling when he first inserts into you will never get old. 

“mm, suga.” you moan. he instinctively thrusts after hearing your pretty noises, completely forgetting what you guys were supposed to be trying.

“no, don’t move.” you laugh at him and he blushes apologetically.

“sorry, i couldn’t help it. you’re just so pretty.” he apologizes and you melt.

“it’s ok suga, you’re adorable.” you smile. “i’m gonna turn around now, but keep you inside me and we’ll finish the movie just like this, yeah?” you say.

“yeah.” he nods in agreement. without pulling suga out of you, you turn so that you’re no longer straddling him but sitting in his lap with your back facing towards him, your face now facing the tv. you guys finish the rest of the movie exactly like this, you sitting on suga’s lap with his member deep inside of you and suga occasionally thrusting up into you just to get your reaction. 

[yanderes-galore]

I really enjoy reading your fnaf concepts :) Could I request some headcanons for Funtime Freddy?

Oh dear...Sadistic bear time.

As with all my FNAF concepts unless specified, animatronic or android, doesn't entirely matter for this concept. Different format than the other ones and I could've put more content but it'd be long. He may work well for a scenario....

Yandere! Funtime Freddy Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere behavior (somewhat), Extreme sadism, Blood mention, Death, Murderous intent, Kidnapping, Manipulation.

- Having Funtime Freddy become fixated on you at all is problematic.

- He's sadistic, and most of the time compared to other variations of Freddy, would rather see you cower under him.

- Funtime Freddy thinks your sobbing is funny!

- Your suffering is hilarious and awfully cute!

- While the robot has such a strong fixation on murder... he can't bring himself to kill you.

- Instead, he soaks in the feeling of scaring you.

- Breaking you down to the point you're trembling and bleeding.

- "THE FUN'S ONLY JUST BEGUN, FRIEND!"

- There's no remorse in him.

- While the other versions of Freddy may care somewhat about your comfort, this one does not.

- There's a certain glee he has when he traumatizes the one he's fixated on

- If something about this fixation won't let him kill you...he'll just do the next best thing!

- Meeting the sadistic bear would most likely be you being lured towards him or working maintenance.

- Bon Bon's just talking his ears off about how what he's doing isn't right!

- Not like the robot cares about what the puppet has to say.

- Not when there's the opportunity of playing with a new friend.

- "Come over here! I've got a surprise!"

- "Freddy! You should go back to your stage!"

- "Not now, Bon Bon! We've got to greet our new friend!"

- He is in no way slow burn with obsession.

- Funtime Freddy likes action.

- He's also hell-bent on pursuing you through the dark.

- You're never safe in one room, he'll find a way to catch you.

- Your attempts at escape are adorable, but he'll be annoyed sooner or later.

- "We've PLAYED tag already...Bon Bon's found you a ton in Hide & Seek, too. Let's find a new game.... You may bleed a bit for this one-!"

- No doubt when he's bored of 'playing' with you he'll trap you in his chest cavity...

- You're under his control, now.

- Wiggle too much and you just might activate his spring locks....

- "I can hear you breathing in there...."

- Bon Bon tries to calm Funtime Freddy when he gets too...rough with you.

- He's supposed to be the fail safe... which worked until you were caught the first time.

- Now Bon Bon's pleads and warnings fall on deaf ears while Funtime Freddy has his fun.

- At least Bon Bon keeps you from accidentally dying... usually.

- "I think that's enough now!"

- "Awww! But I was just starting to have fun!"

- Funtime Freddy also really likes to 'claim' it's your birthday...when it obviously is not...

- That's most likely just in his usual coding.

- Being Funtime Freddy's fixation would also make you have a high chance of...death.

- He may not mean to as it would ruin his fun, but it has a high chance of happening....

- "Hey~ Wake up! Don't tell me you've really kicked it...!"

- He has not locked you here to 'protect you'

- He's locked you here to play with.

- Even if you did escape your cage, it's temporary.

- He'll find you again, anyway.

- "I know you're in here somewhere~!"

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.