#sue me if i jack up the text

[unaskedformagnustheories]

Recap Notes: MAGP 13 "Futures"

Spoiler Warning: this is a purely selfish exercise in remembering what the hell happened last season (from someone caught up thru MAGP32, 3/6/2025 & all of The Magnus Archives). No promises I'll keep up with it.

Summary: I'm not saying Darrien (first of his name) deserved it. I'm just saying he sounds like the type to drive a cybertruck and I think that speaks for itself.

Casement: CAT3RB4622-17092023-14032024

Sue me. I'm not above enjoying episode 13 is about bad luck. Think I mentioned before, but overall this case functions much the same as MAGP09 just with e-trading instead of dice rolls. It's well done, I just don't have too much to say on it. We do get a nice backstory expansion pack for Sam and Celia (one more padded than the other). And I'm glad Jonny and Alex confirmed in the season 1 Q & A that we can take Celia's word here that she had a few wild years post finding herself in TMP-verse and Jack's her son, because I don't I'd have been particularly interested in a cuckoo subplot. He's just her kid and that's that. Sam's a confirmed disappointment to his parents. Also thought I had a candidate for who the law firm might be from a blink and you'll miss it mention in the text, but seem to have lost that. If I find it later, I'll come back and edit it in. Would like more details on just what sort of incident he had that led to him parting ways. And tiny bonus Alice lore in that she became an orphan during her and Sam's time at uni. Explains her protectiveness towards Luke (and her misplaced turning that towards Sam, possibly the reason they broke up? do we have mention of why they broke up?) as well as her financial support of her brother. Probably something she was forced to do via circumstance, and has trouble letting go now that they're both adults. Provides motivation for sticking it out in this job. And for the big boss woman, Lena's worldview is hella fun here when we compare it to Gerry's from MAG 111. LENA (speech-like:) The world is full of opposing forces. Some benevolent, most not. In order for the wheels to keep on turning, all these forces need to be monitored and balanced. That is where we come in. vs.

GERARD No. There aren’t any god-like powers of hope, or love, or indigestion, or whatever. At least not that I’ve seen. Just fear. I don’t know why.

Do I think there are actually benevolent supernatural forces in TMP? Not sure yet. But considering the case we're bookmarking, my money (even if I don't have millions in personal equity to bet) is on: any benefit the OAIR thinks they're gaining from playing with fire is a long-con towards a bigger, more catastrophic crash. The folks who think they can control anything are just too busy congratulating themselves on their cleverness to see it. Excited for the fire.

[acaplaya-musings]

A random assortment of Geoff Castellucci pictures - Part 1

I have a folder that is filled with screencaps of Geoff, some of which are/were for art references, and some of which are just because I think they're good pictures, and I asked in a recent post if any of you were interested in me showing you some of them. A few of you did very much express interest, and so here we are. This post, part 1, is for screencaps from videos on Geoff's solo channel, and part 2 will be for screencaps from VoicePlay videos.

They're just listed alphabetically by video title (because that's how they're sorted in the folder), and this assortment certainly has potential to be expanded upon, but it's just some/most of what I've got right now (plus some thoughts/comments from me about most if not all of them)

Everything below the cut!

This one I was considering as a potential fanart reference at one point - I was tossing up between this and Wicked Game for a sketch fanart, but I ended up going with Wicked Game

I mean come on sir please this is ILLEGAL /j

Look, Folsom Prison Blues is one of my top 3 favourite Geoff videos, emphasis on the word "video", so sue me!

h-

I know it's a habit of Geoff's to have at least two top buttons of a button-up shirt undone, but like in this video, (if you don't count the button that's probably right up at the collar), he's got three buttons undone and oh boy it shows And I Am Looking Respectfully

I grabbed this screenshot when I went looking for pics for my Geoff playing the piano photo compilation, but I ended up keeping this one because I just think it's a really nice pic <3

I actually don't have a lot of screenshots from Jack's Lament, but mostly because the whole damn video is so amazing and practically all of it is screenshot-worthy!

This was another one I was considering for fanart, but it would be quite hard to get right, even with my "tricks" for get outlines near-perfect

I mean yeah what can I say

Mele Kalikimaka really holds a special place in my heart, and I can't wait to watch/listen to it again come December (or late November if I get impatient, lol) (as if I don't have the whole dang song memorised in my brain already!)

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen may be the most impressive/stunning arrangement of Geoff's 4 Christmas songs, but Mele Kalikimaka is probably my sentimental favourite, deep down (and yes, he's very pretty in this one!)

I mean we all agree he looked dang good in this outfit right?

I actually low-key would love to do fanart of Jaime!Geoff (maybe standing up so I wouldn't have to include the Iron Throne), but that's a lot of brown, and I'm not sure I have enough variety of shades/hues to get it right

I know I included this one fairly recently in my visual analysis post for Song Of Durin, but I saved this one to my folder and so I'm sharing it again!

It's pretty rare for me to feel attraction to any "iteration of Geoff" (Geoff clone?) with thick facial hair, but man that smile... It's a similar deal with "Jeoph" in Unshaken, and frankly my attraction to him in that video continues to baffle me. You're not supposed to look that good with a handlebar moustache and not even a beard to go with it!!!

I call this one "Heart Eyes Geoff" and it makes me melt in love and affection every time <3

Geoff and Kathy had to refilm a lot of shots for Til Then, and they were completely by themselves in the studio when they did so. So yeah, she might not be on screen, but you just know he's looking right at her 💜

I really really love Way Down okay. I call this image "flirting with the camera" (got that from a comment on a reaction video to this I think?)

And finally, this is just the Wicked Game video thumbnail without the title text (got it from Patreon - Geoff sometimes asks Patrons to help vote on video thumbnails and will give us jpg downloads of each option), but still, it captured me from the moment I first saw it appear on YouTube. Like he's just! So! Pretty! And the wispiness of his hair (which was a deliberate styling choice, apparently, based on the BTS footage), and the way it's at this point long enough to reach his shoulders, just UGH man

So yeah, hope you enjoyed this; part 2 with VoicePlay video screencaps will be coming at some point soon! Seeya!

[campoverlook-if]

Weekly Progress Update #8// 7/29/24

I get sick with the flu for a few little days and my mind doesn’t think, ‘hey don’t you have to update those folks on that there tumblr site?’

So yeah, got sick on Saturday and have been basically bedridden ever since. Luckily Google Docs is a flexible girlie so writing from my phone I have been. Yes I use Google docs to write sometimes, yes, I even use my phone. Sue me.

Mostly it’s stuff from later on in the episode since I still haven’t finished the morning scenes yet, but I didn’t want to touch those while my energy isn’t fully in it.

Writing just a little about the campers really helps me fully visualize them in my mind. And some of them are just so precious I’d lend them lunch money. And the rest I’d steal that money so fast from.

So while we’re all waiting for the eventual release of this episode, here’s a sneak peek of a scene that may or may not change when I merge it with the full text.

“Oh, me too!” You say.

Harper looks up from her lap and over towards you. Your eyes were so full of honestly, but the teen still didn’t seem to fully believe you.

“Really?” She asks.

You lean forward, giving her a friendly smile. “Yeah, what kind have you found?”

And just like that, the quiet that had settled over her ended. The fact that someone, especially a counselor, could have the same interests as her made her happy.

She proudly started rattling off a few of her favorite rocks she had collected over her years. Her eyes lighting up the more she talked.

You could tell the other kids weren’t into the conversation, but they listened to be polite anyways, probably to not make any of you mad. Lucas, ${jack}, and ${ella} were feeling the same way. Obviously unsure about the topic, but happy to see her finally open up about something.

It took you a moment to realize that the only one not really listening was Asher, who was looking at you from the corner of their eye with a small smirk. “What? Rock collecting is a normal hobby!” You remark quietly to them.

Asher let’s put a giggle, shrugging their shoulders in response. “I didn’t say it wasn’t.”

I don’t even collect rocks, why did I make this so defensive lol

Thankfully, like I said, I’ve started to feel much better. As much as I love the kids, I gotta write the set up first before anything else. This has been a nice distraction though and really helps with fleshing out the different dynamics within the groups.

That’s all for this update. See you all on Wednesday!

[adickaboutspoons]

🤡🛒⛔ for the meme!

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

I prefer to think of most of my WIPs as in long-term holding patterns, but yeah, there's a couple that will prolly never get developed further. There's one I wrote to entertain my Discord girlies (g/n) as an canon-divergence to 1x7 where Jack is drunk enough to black out before whippies part II & drunken Ed goes to see about Stede reading in his bunk. And I quoted entirely too much "Tess of the D'urbervilles" and there is drunken knifeplay.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I'm constitutionally incapable of not comparing Stede to the sun or going on at length about Ed's incredible eyes. You know it's an envinoveritas joint if Stede is deeply oblivious or, at the very least, nobly restrained when it comes to Ed, because he's fundamentally incapable of believing that anyone, much less *Ed*, could be attracted to him. Oh, also I'm a little obsessed with Ed creatively swearing in his head - if the fic is from his POV, there WILL be at least on instance where he's all "Fucking fuck a motherless poxy cock-swallowing twat waffle of a duck taint in hell."

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh? I think I'm a pretty funny writer, but I don't really laugh at my own jokes. That said, I'm not above a self-satisfied smile. Here's a scene from a Taskmaster AU I've been pecking away at for the entertainment of my Discord girlies (g/n). The premise is that, while recording the tasks, Stede got assigned a solo task to send cheeky texts to Greg's phone every day for five months, only to find out at the record for the in-studio part of the show that Greg hadn't received a single one; Stede had sent them all to the wrong number. Which started to text back after the episode aired...

He climbed out of bed, wincing just a little when he stretched and cursing his old bones. He went to the bathroom, brushed the bog-taste from his mouth, pulled on some clean clothes, then grabbed his phone to go downstairs and put on some tea. A calming brew might be just the thing, depending on what William S. Hornberry, Esq. had to say. Will answered on the second ring. “It’s already on telly, Stede. You really just need to put Channel 4 as far from your mind as possible,” he sighed into the phone without any preamble. “No - I mean, yes, I know. This is not about that. Well, adjacent to that. What I mean to say is I got a reply. From the person I’ve been texting in error I mean.” There was another sigh down the line, and the sound of Will taking a sip of a calming brew of his own. “Okay. Let’s have it.” “What?” “Read it to me - what does it say?” Stede picked the Taskmaster phone up off the counter and thumbed the power button. He undid the lock screen (a picture of Greg’s disapproving face staring out at him), and pulled up the text window. “Oh! There’s more since I went to bed last night!” he said. He skimmed over the new message quickly. So far, no indication that this was going to go south! Excellent. He judiciously tempered his excitement until he heard Will’s opinion, though. Will waited in polite silence. Stede cleared his throat, scrolled back up to where the messages started, and read it all off to him. “‘Loved the show tonight.' 'Been loving the texts even more.' 'Keep ‘em coming.' 'Sexy.' That’s all the stuff from before I went to bed. The new stuff says: ‘You deserved more than 2 points for Kings Quest. That game rocked.' 'Let me know when you’re done playing with floppy things. I’ve got something hard I think you might be interested in.’ So what do we think? Doesn’t seem like they’re inclined to sue me, right?” “Well, if he is, he won’t have a leg to stand on now that he’s flirting back,” Will answered with a hearty chortle. “Flirting? What - no! Just being cheeky, surely? Giving as good as they got.” Another heavy sigh heaved its way down the line. “Stede, I say this not just as your lawyer, but, after all these years, someone I hope you think of as a dear friend. You don’t have the best track record when it comes to realizing someone is flirting with you.” “I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.” Stede huffed. “Name one time you’ve seen someone flirt with me and I didn’t recognize it.” There was a long silence. So long that Stede pulled the phone away from his ear to see if the call had dropped. “Just-” Stede pulled the phone back to his ear quickly, “Just send yourself screencaps from the Taskmaster phone, ok? Just in case it gets deactivated? That way you’ll still have the evidence. Leave it to me to prove intent.” “Okay,” Stede agreed. “Do you want me to forward it to you as well?” “God no - I don’t want your Etonian smut. Not until absolutely necessary at least.” “You’re hilarious,” Stede said wryly. “No, that’s your job. Goodbye, Stede. I’m charging you for the whole hour.” “Hilarious,” Stede repeated and rang off.

[stanleyvampire14]

*TW BLOOD* Day 5 of @lotftober ! Jack Merridew my beloved! I hate him /J. No but his character development was so amazing to go through I actually love him sm! He’s a very interesting character to say the least. My headcanon (technically it’s canon by some of the text-) is that he really wants to gain others approval and attention and that’s why it made him so mad at Ralph when they started drifting apart- his parents never really have time for him (another hc is that his father is a priest or some sort of church person and his mother is a lawyer) and he wants people to look up to him, no matter the cost. Who cares who lives and who dies? Who’s hurt and who’s not? Not Jack Merridew, that’s who. Also this is supposed to go with day 4 (incorrectly titled it in the post oops) I know it said that Jack jumped from the forest but I wanted to draw a sunrise- sue me- also I keep changing his savage design I’m sorry I can’t decide-

More stuff after the cut

He used to be so friendly looking….NOOOO 💔💔

Bro needs a hug. They all do…😞

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

just so you know, you can be sued for stealing a cat, especially if its collared and microchipped. dont be a vile human being. have some compassion. maybe that persons cat is just an escape artist.

maybe if someone stole your pet, youd be fine with it, idk if you just let your pets go when youre tired of them. idk you.

but not having compassion is actually disgusting. do better.

Ok let's break this down since I'm going to, probably incorrectly, assume that your intentions are good and you are just woefully misinformed. For the sake of clarity, when I say indoor cat, I mean 100% indoor, and when I say outdoor cat, I mean a cat that is regularly let outside without a leash and isn't a feral or working barn cat.

1) "You can be sued for stealing a cat, especially if it's collared or microchipped".

Okay, so if you microchip an outdoor cat, you have wasted your money. Microchips are for finding your cat should it go missing. If an outdoor cat goes missing, you better hope someone picked it up and took it in bc 9/10 if your outdoor cat goes missing it's dead. Full stop. Hawks, coyotes, dogs, other cats, cars, eagles, wolves, cougars, etc all see that cat as food and cats may be OP for their size but a pack of coyotes whose territory is being shrunk by the day will find that cat very tasty. And in case you are confused, coyotes don't care if you sue them, they will eat the microchip and leave the bloodied collar with the bones.

But let's say you are worried about me getting sued, my response is: ok????? You seem to be under the impression that I am taking cats for a selfish reason and i am definitely not. I would do this for the cat's benefit, with no worries for my own. I'll get sued, I'll gladly take the court case if it means they keep their pets inside. But how would they know I took their cat? They wouldn't because I don't let my cats outside ever. They won't see the cat again and it won't be because a coyote ripped it to peices while it was taking a shit. And it would be a lot harder for them to sue a coyote, so I've done them a favor once again.

2) "Don't be a vile human being. Have some compassion. Maybe their cat is just an escape artist."

Ok, that's on me for not making myself clear. If a cat is missing, and there are posters, online posts, text psa, etc I will see them. I actually follow a local missing pet group that alerts me to every pet in my area that's gone missing, and each includes the info about the pet and if they are indoor or not. When I have time I go and look for them around my town. But again, not far from the feral cat colonies is where the coyotes run so I have yet to be successful. If a cat owner has stated that their cat has escaped and are indoor cats, then I am on the streets, in forests, marshes, behind malls, etc, to return that missing family member. But cats are the equivalent of a toddler in terms of ability to navigate life, and it is definitely neglect to leave your toddler outside unattended.

Moreover, there is a bitch who lives near me who buys kittens, doesn't get them fixed, and when they get out she doesn't even bother to look for them and I have rescued several of those and their subsequent kittens(many of which did not survive even after given professional care bc the mothers were still kittens themselves and can't care for their babies). That bitch has been reported many times and guess what the cops do??? That's right, what cops do best, which is jack shit. I have spent months doing tnr just cleaning up her messes so you have no right to tell me I am without compassion or that I'm vile. I had a cat who was an escape artist, but I at least made sure she was fixed in case she ever got out(she only ever got out once and after I reinforced the screens on our porch).

But again, if your outdoor cat goes missing, what good would returning them do? The cat will just go outside again and face the same shit that caused them to dissappear in the first place. It's actual insanity and those people shouldn't be cat owners(personally I think they should be charged with neglect but whose counting?).

3) "Maybe if someone stole your pet you'd be fine with it. Idk if you just let your pets go when you're tired of them. Idk you. But not having compassion is actually disgusting. Do better."

Okay here is where you lost me.

No one would be able to steal my pet unless they literally broke into my place, because again my cats NEVER go outside. And advocating for pet owners to keep their cats indoors only is something that is vital to the cat's health and the environment, so that is literally the opposite of letting your cat go when tired of them. I don't know where you got that from and honestly I don't care because, no, you don't know me and if your reading comprehension wasn't piss poor you would have seen in the tags you are referencing that I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER DONE WHAT YOU ARE DESCRIBING BC I LIVE IN AN APARTMENT WITH A PET LIMIT. ✨️ I've never taken a cat off the street and kept it!✨️ I can't, or I'll get evicted! Ive fostered for a short period but ive never taken in a cat from the street. But make no mistake I would if I could.

My compassion is why I try to remain educated and informed about why it matters to keep your cat inside. I am compassionate toward the 3 month old cat that it's owner let out in the dead of winter, unfixed, that gave birth to 4 kittens under our car, all premature and 1 was a stillbirth. She was too young to be a mother and her instincts never kicked in. She didn't know to lick away the umbilical cord, she didn't know how to feed them, she didn't know what to do and even with my sister, my mother, my coworker, a volunteer foster, and 3 vet techs and a veterinarian doctor, none of the kittens lived more than 2 days.

I am compassionate towards them. I am compassionate toward the owner of a cat I trapped, fostered, and took to the vet, who after adopting this cat, fell on hard times and when her card declined at the register, she put all of her human food back and just bought cat food(I offered to pay for it but she refused).

So maybe read what you have written and before you hit send, maybe do some research. Maybe think about how you would feel if some stranger just barely read what you put in a tag and decided to tell them they are vile and without compassion while in the same message saying that you don't know them or how they treat others.

Good on you for not turning on anon and saying what you believe with your whole ignorant chest, but still

Do better.

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes thoughts (season 2, episodes 16 - 23):  

- Did that guy with frost powers die? Booo.

- Jan roasting Whirlwind is always delightful.

- SR: “Did you come down here just to give me a hard time?” CB: “Yes. I’ve actually been texting you on your ID card to give you a hard time, but you never answer.”

- JVD to Vision: “What do you want with me? Who are you working for? And why would you combine green and yellow with your skin tone?” Jan asking the real questions. XD

 - Poor Thor, he sounds so hurt when the Robovengers attack him, especially Steve. Also, I had a feeling Steve was conning the robots, but his moment of hesitation before he was meant to take out Thor clinched it. The Thundershield is real, lol.

- TS: “Avengers! Pick a robot and take it down!” I dunno why that made me laugh so much, but here we are.

- Of course Steve went back to save Vision. I’d expect nothing less.

- TS: “[Hank’s] prison’s imploding into a singularity. If we don’t get out of here fast, it’s over.” CB: “You’re the genius, genius.” TS: “Not for this kind of thing.” Wish the MCU had remembered that. >_>

- HP: “Ant-Man is gone,that’s the past.” Uh, excuse me, for you maybe. Scotty still has the suit, even though the show’s done jack with him since his one episode. Not that I’m bitter or anything...

(...yes, I am. I wanted him and Jan to hang out, okay? Sue me!)

- TS: “I think we spent too long wanting you to be someone you weren’t, instead of appreciating who you were.” HP: “You want an Avenger who gets the job done right, here I am.” TS: “Hank Pym is welcome back to the team anytime. That’s who we want.” HP: “I told you, the name’s Yellowjacket.” Yeah, I don’t say this often, but I’m with Tony. Hank’s clearly having an episode. He needs to be in therapy and on meds, not punching supervillains in a funky suit. What a sad, slow-mo train wreck.

- SR: “Congratulations, Ir0n Man. You did it. You fixed the world.” That was chilling, jeez.

- Killgrave. That fuck can’t be beaten up enough. 

- JVD to Steve: “Besides, you’re not going anywhere without me.” <333

- Man, mind-control or not this show’s done Sam so dirty thus far.

- I like to think I have a high tolerance for goofy shit from superhero stuff, but the Red Skull Megazord took me the fuck out, lol. If it didn’t have a head modeled after his head I might’ve been able to deal, but nope, I can’t. It’s too damn funny to take even remotely seriously.

- Oh, good, at least one version of Thaddeus Ross gets locked the fuck up. I can’t stand that bastard.

- LC: “Fine. We’ll help. But all this stinks like an Avengers problem, so I’m sending them the bill.” And then he did. Seriously, why haven’t they been using Luke more? Dude’s a riot.

[buffporcupine]

*pulls a folding chair out of handbag* please tell me about your ocs

Ooh, my! You’ve made a mistake. <3 No, really, thank you sooo much for these asks, I love them to bits. Send more of these asks.

Anyway, it’s infodumping o’ clock.

TWs for death mentions, abuse, whatever tragic backstory shit I’ll have to mention.

So, I recently made a post about Kiyomi, which is one of my favorite OCs that I have, but now I gotta talk about my other OCs that I have. I have at least 100 little blorbo OCs, they have been plaguing my mind. Also, I have like a grand total of 12 human OCs 😭.

I’ll just make this post into pieces, and each piece with be a few paragraphs about one OC. Some are from the same universe, some are not.

~~~

013.

013 is one of my more recently made OCs. She’s another one of my favorites, too. She’s from one of my WIPs, in which the plot is just about her, her best friend, and the adventures they go on. She’s also like, very sickly and small, she’s definitely one of those Always Sick (tm) kids. Her various sicknesses and chronic ailments were what caused her eventual death. She was fascinated by the stars, and the beauty of the night sky. She’d usually get her best friend, Victor, to lend her his telescope or teach her more about the other planets and galaxies. She said when she grew up, she wanted to be an astronaut. She spent lots of time studying space, and she really did want to see the stars in person. She died when she was a teenager. Victor lived to an old age, without her. Anyway, she’s just a cute OC. Ray of sunshine and everything. I hated writing the scene of her death, ugh. Below is a sketch of her.

She’s my bby for sure.

~~~

Mary-Anne Taylor.

This OC is from a totally different universe from Victor and 013. She lived around the 1980s and 1890s, and died to sickness. Now, she is a ghost who possesses a glass doll. The glass doll is similar to her in looks, and that is why she chose it. She was a child when she died, so she still likes learning new things and playing outside. She had a little sister that she loved to play with and take care of. I mainly use this OC for rps, where I have her ask the other character about what special things have happened since her death. Very cute overall. I don’t actually have any concepts for her design…? She loves to catch bugs and run in the mud, she had no care for what “being proper” meant. She’s just a bro.

~~~

Yui Barkes.

Yui is just this emo girl who wears lots of eyeliner and hides the lower half of her face under a vintage gas mask? The gas mask, though, is only half there for aesthetics, as she has this kuchisake-onna style smile scar going across her face. It’s very bloody and unsettling, and it’s unknown as to how she got the scar. It makes her look badass, even if she is insecure about it. She’s a guitarist for a grunge band, and she writes most of the band’s music. Her girlfriend is in the band as well. She’s a very cool character and she sounds like the sort of person anyone would want to be friends with. I have her made in GC but I won’t bestow that horror upon you.

~~~

Magic Jack.

This lil’ guy is an OC I made as a joke, after keysmashing on a Chinese keyboard and accidentally texting my friend about an explorerer named Magic Jack destined to penetrate a barrier into a Forbidden City. I have no clue what it was about, but now le Magic Jack has a design, and he is a gay icon.

~~~

Ven Omause.

This OC was meant to be a YTTD OC, but now she’s detached from that and part of her own original story. She’s based on the YTTD dolls in the sense of her name meaning something weird and sinister or just being a misspelling of a phrase to look like a name. E.g. Tia Safalin, Sue Miley, Rio Ranger… Ven is based off the motif of snakes, snake powers, snake obsession, snake everything. She even has her tongue pierced so it looks reptillian. Her whole shtick is that she’s a serial killer with DID, one personality being an innocent high school student and one personality being a snake obssessed serial killer.

~~~ Anyway, there’s the end of the infodump.

I didn’t know which OC to infodump about, so I did a handful of them. Which is the most interesting? Which should I talk about more?

Thanks if you read this, BTW.

Thank you for the ask, please send more like it!!

[backtothestart02]

Do You Have My Number? - 4/5 | westallen fanfiction

A/N: I'm on a roll! Only one chap left. Enjoy!

...

Chapter 4 -

Silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity. Iris hadn’t been expecting him to actually pick up – obviously. Not after three rings of him not picking up. What had he been doing? Sleeping? Jacking off to some porn star on his phone?

She winced.

Okay, that last one was a little excessive maybe. And where was her jealousy cropping up from. He clearly wanted her, right? Wasn’t that the whole problem here? That they both wanted each other so badly they could hardly stand to be in the same room with each other and act professionally?

“Iris? Is that you?”

She cleared her throat a little too loudly, and knew there was nothing for it but to respond.

“Hi, Barry. Yes, it’s me.”

She heard a relieved sigh from his end and wanted to burst into tears. She was being ridiculous! Sue was right. She was acting like a horny teenager, and she needed to snap out of it. Pronto.

“Thank god. Did you get my message?”

“I got it,” she managed. “But there’s no need to apologize.”

“I think there is.”

“Well, whether there is or not, you’ve already done it, haven’t you?” She winced at the silence that snappy response induced. “That’s not what I…”

“No, you’re right,” he said softly, sounding dejected. “So, who do I come to see? Sue something or other?”

She swallowed.

“No. I’ll text you the property addresses, and you can meet me there. We’ll forego the office altogether. Do you have my number?”

“Your personal number? No, I, uh-”

“No, of course not. Because I don’t give out my personal number usually.” She licked her lips. “I’ll just tell you the addresses over the phone. Do you have a pen and paper handy?”

“No, I uh, just let me…” He began scrambling around in search of those two items. “Okay, I got- Wait a minute, does this mean you’ll be showing up? Not Sue?”

It took everything in her not to snap at him again, but she knew that wasn’t right. She had to have modes other than sass and arousal, especially around a client.

“That’s correct.”

“And we’re not going to talk about…?”

“There’s nothing to discuss,” she said firmly. “Now. The addresses. Are you ready for them?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She rattled them off and ended the call, leaning back in her chair with a large exhale and accidentally rolling off the chair mat and up against the wall behind her.

A gentle knock on the door was followed by Sue opening it.

“So, I take it you’re keeping Barry Allen on your roster then?”

Iris groaned and closed her eyes.

“Shut up.”

“Thatta girl.”

Sue chuckled and closed the door on her way down the hall.

…

Barry arrived at the property first.

He really hoped he liked this property the best, so they wouldn’t even need to look at another one, and Iris wouldn’t be subjected to being in his presence a moment longer.

He couldn’t believe he’d screwed up this bad.

It was one thing if she didn’t return his attraction, but to not return it to the state that she wanted nothing to do with him even on a professional level and had gone through Cisco to try and achieve that was a lower blow than he’d ever dreamed of being on the receiving end of before.

One thing was for certain. He was not going to flirt. He was not going to come on to her. He was not going to check her out. She was going to be either another man or an ugly woman to him from this moment onward. He could forget any association with her beyond finding him an apartment, because he’d royally screwed up so bad that she probably wanted nothing to do with him in this life or the next.

He could only pray that she wouldn’t put out a bad word about him in the realtor community in case he ever needed to buy another apartment again. It was a minor dent compared to losing what they could’ve been, but it still would hurt his ego and self esteem and shame him a bit if finding another place became difficult as well.

The beeping sound of a car locking sounded in the distance, and he looked up. There was that little red bug, and there was Iris stepping out of it. She wore a dark plaid blazer today that he swore matched one of his button-down shirts he’d packed away just that morning. She also wore black dress pants instead of a skirt and some wedges. Her hair bounced over her shoulders in gorgeous natural curls. He found her even prettier than the last time he’d seen her, but something told him it would be a bad idea to tell her so, so he kept it to himself.

“Iris.”

She came to a stop and forced a polite smile.

“Barry.”

She gave him a once-over that he didn’t know what to do with and then gestured to the door.

“Shall we?”

“Mhmm.”

Pushing himself off the tan bricks of the building, he followed her inside. They got into the elevator just fine, and Barry told himself he was going to do everything in his power to avoid feeling whatever sexual tension he’d felt the other day. He didn’t so much as look at her while they were in the small area, especially not after they both reached for the button at the same time.

“S-sorry,” he managed.

“No, it was my bad,” she said, and he didn’t notice it then, but her voice wasn’t as clipped as it had been outside the building or on the phone for that matter.

“Here we are,” she announced a short while later when she pushed open the door to the apartment and allowed him to walk through.

Barry immediately deflated.

He hated it.

The color scheme was all wrong. There was no open concept. The ceilings weren’t even high. In fact, it looked a lot like his current apartment, except the things that he didn’t like about that apartment weren’t present. Which he supposed was an upside.

Still, he couldn’t help giving her a disappointed stare, which thankfully she took with a chuckle.

At least he wasn’t flirting.

“Give it a chance, Bartholomew,” she teased, patting his covered arm as she moved further into the apartment – and abruptly froze along with him.

“How did y-”

“Cisco let it slip last night on the phone. I promised him I wouldn’t tease you, but I guess I couldn’t help myself.”

“What else did he say?” he asked, his mood immediately lifting. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all if Cisco had gotten that casual with her.

That was when Iris took a step back though, remembering herself and what she’d promised.

“I really shouldn’t say. You should ask him. I’m sure he’ll tell you.”

“Like hell,” he muttered. “I asked him what happened, and he said you didn’t want me as a client anymore and that was that. I assumed it was something I did or said, because I thought that Cisco was implying that, but maybe I was wrong?”

She swallowed.

“We really should keep looking at the apartment. I know it doesn’t have some of the features you liked at the other properties or in my notes, but I really think you’ll like some of the aspects of the guest bedrooms and the master bedroom too, which has its own bathroom, and-”

“Screw the apartment,” he deadpanned. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I’m trying to be professional right now, and you’re making it very difficult. Can we please carry on with the tour? Please?”

His eyes narrowed as he approached her, caught in the hallway with the walls so close to either side of them.

“Why?” he asked. “Why are you trying so hard to be professional? And why is it difficult for you? Why am I difficult for you? Just…” He slipped his hand into her curls and touched her cheek, deeply affected when she leaned into his palm. “Talk to me.”

“Because.” She swallowed, eyes closed. “I’m attracted to you,” she finally admitted aloud, then opened her eyes to his shocked face. “And I’m letting that attraction get in the way of my professionalism.”

“That’s why you didn’t want me as a client?” He gaped.

She nodded.

“Yes.”

He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the wall.

“Oh, my god, that’s such a relief. I thought I’d seriously offended you.” He chuckled lightly to himself. “But apparently, I just turned you on.”

His gaze shifted to hers again and got darker, seductive even. It sent shivers down her spine, and she swallowed, tensed up when he reached out for her again.

“Please…don’t.”

He dropped his hand.

“Not until we find you an apartment.”

He smirked, sensing victory.

“If you insist.”

She continued with the tour, and while he agreed that there were some aspects to like about this place, all he could think about was ravishing her on every distasteful corner of the place, so they agreed to go on to the last property on the list.

…

Iris was practically bursting at the seams by the time they got to the last location. She’d been honest with Barry and with herself, but at what cost? She’d have to make Barry swear he never told a soul, except maybe Cisco who already knew. The embarrassment it would cause her if word got out. Her reputation might be on the line. And all because he’d pushed her a little when she’d been horny to begin with.

“Here we are,” she said, stepping out of the last elevator for a while she hoped.

This apartment was different than the rest, and Barry for the first time ever was mesmerized with it first and seducing her second.

“It’s a loft,” she told him. “So, the kitchen, living room, partial bathroom, dining room are all down here, and a winding staircase takes you upstairs to a couple bedrooms, a master and a guest. There’s also a second guest bedroom on this floor, but you could turn it into whatever you want, office, study, gym, you name it.”

“It’s that big?” he asked.

“See for yourself.”

She gestured to the white door on the far side of the room and followed his slowly as he made a beeline for it. Then she leaned against the doorframe as he inspected the room.

“Yeah, it’s a good size. I like it.”

She smiled and stepped back as he exited the room.

“And I love the high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows. No fans, which is a plus. Open concept. Yeah, this is great. Let’s check out the upstairs.”

He took the steps two at a time till he got to the top. She was much slower in her heels, but she made it to the top too. Not before she heard him exclaiming “Wow!” when he got into the master bedroom however.

She laughed aloud, joining him shortly.

“It’s huge, right?”

“Massive!” he cried, now inside the master bathroom. “This bath is incredible too, and it’s separate from the shower that looks like it’ll come down like a waterfall.”

She giggled.

“Test it out. It does.”

He turned on the water and then stepped back to watch it fall down from four different directions and with good water pressure too.

“I think I might be in heaven,” he declared. “Too bad I’m not naked.”

She cleared her throat.

“Sorry.”

She shook her head, dismissing it.

“No need. I’m glad you like it. Now…for price.”

“It’s over budget, isn’t it? I knew I shouldn’t get my hopes up.”

“It’s exactly one thousand under budget.”

“No way. For real?”

“For real.”

He shut off the water and then came to her, picking her up and spinning her around before setting her back on her feet.

She could see it in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her. And in that moment, she would have let him. But something inside him must’ve told him the timing wasn’t right, so he spurted out some words instead and let that be enough.

“I’ll take it.”

[nightshade-heart]

ok tumblr is trying to tell me my updated pfp description is too long for my bio (which is BULLSHIT btw i was able to put it in my bio on my other acc 🙄) so im just putting it here

[pfp id: a smiling emoji with a mouth that reaches up to wrap around its eyes. It has a purple wizard hat on and the trans flag edited over it. troy and abed are high-fiving in the bottom left. there are 8 pictures of gerard way and 1 of troy barnes strewn about. black text reads “in the face of extermination say FUCK YOU”. a blue and green gay flag is in the upper right, with a dinosaur and “MEN” in flaming text edited onto it. there are 2 pictures of dean winchester in the bottom left, one in the top left, and one in the top right, and two of castiel in the top left and one in the top right. there are three pictures of jack kline: one near the center; one in the bottom left, only half his face visible; and one in the center bottom, a trans flag edited onto his cheek. there’s a picture of annie edison in the top left, and one of charlie bradbury in the bottom right. there's a picture of crowley from good omens in the top left, and one of aziraphale in the top right. there’s a picture of sue sylvester in the middle right, and one of britta perry nearby. there’s a picture of jo harvelle in the center bottom, along with one of laura jane grace in the center bottom. there’s a picture of claire novak in the center top. there are 5 gilbert baker pride flags strewn about. there’s a screenshot of a discord message from me in the bottom right, reading "im a men im allowed to have men moments" in all caps. end id.]

[the-firebird69]

So we're going to follow through with some ideas his assholes are asking for stuff I'm going to make them pay. We do hear what he's saying what we're doing doesn't have enough bite and stings him a little all the time relentlessly so we're going to use stuff on him it works. One of them is sell the zero motorcycle and we are going to deliver it to dealerships. And we're going to sue you too and this is the old fashioned way and say you have a lawsuit any issue it you issue it and you make it known and the max are slowly picking up the pace that's what they mean so announce it and you tell people this is what we're doing. On purpose. And you have court dates and stuff like a lot of people do and it's covered for doing all sorts of stuff. Being in your areas going after people of yours taking your text down so you can't intercept. There's a lot of people suing these three. I'm going to sue them too then we assuming these three as well as everybody else is suing them. Go ahead and do in tons of research around here and people saw it this morning and started going after you. So Terry cheesman doesn't get it. The Ladies are helping to getting paid, but he does most of work. And it is why they get taken that's why Dan grabs her Trump grabs Chrissy too this is an allergy said he's trying to do that too. Leslie Nielsen goes after them in the movie taken in the series it's coming up and they all get killed over and over the ladies are helping with Tom Cruise too, he has his character Jack something same reason same people gets bigger and bigger all these people have been driven them off and ripping therm off. Trump's just start going back after them and get their asses kicked. Constantly. Today we're going to make it up to our father and release the information on them and a lot of others him and ripping these two assholes off oh I'm sorry three. Garth is too small but they've been doing it and they only ran on a few people. It's taking way too long. You need help right here. I'm putting it together now and I'm sending it out nobody says the things that you idiots saying to me no one you're out of your mind we're going to take care of your little problem you got really upset cuz it's hearing it on the street trumpsters came in this morning and we're looking around found everybody laughing at them. There's a lot of people that they hurt doing that thievery I'm not putting too much pressure on our son we're going to erase them. Right now there's five police cruisers heading towards Dan's location. Yeah that's the upper Midwest and the saints in Illinois and we do have Illinois no not yet. Certain things have to happen first and they're going ahead. Huge huge engines they're taken from the max several of them and they'd fit in the clone ship but the clones say those are not the ones for the ship everyone agrees no they took eight of them were like 200 miles across 500 miles long and our son said that's kind of large for Hudson Bay and it kind of is the bay itself is about a thousand miles across and they're probably two rows and that would take up too much space because you need a space between who's about half so you'd be 200 * 4 + 400 1200 miles is too big. When the shape the ship is 500x1000 and it wouldn't fit but some of them would and our son says they'd probably have one or two spares and it's going on now people figure it out

Thor Freya

We're taking our ships out while they're taking theirs out near a similar class they have gone out of a couple of big holes and we mentioned him earlier but we don't have like a way to tell you exactly where what he's saying is I can't remember where those big ones came out anyway and the Black Sea and we said no the ocean and people said no. The planetoids and the answer is yes and it was their plan and didn't work

Thor Freya

[secretly-sayori]

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH MORE COMMENTARY

as always there are spoilers under the cut so keep scrolling of you don't want that!

Sayori calling Monika old omg I love that

“Y’all want the house that night?” - ohhh aunt willow knows what's up

pineapple upside down cake actually sounds so good holy lord

my poor needy bbg ill be back soon I promise i love you gn - I FUCKING LOVE DRY TEXTER NATSUKI and when she unironically uses the word babygirl pfft

“Put your boobie mags down and pull your pants up dude you’re gonna make us late!!” - omfg Sayori

very small detail but Natsuki checking the text from Monika before the multiple in her group chat is actually so cute what if I sob

I believe this is twice that I've seen Natsuki's name has been confused for Natalie which isn't a lot but it's silly it's happened twice

She spoke fast, it took Natsuki a second to process what she said, - Danny is me fr

“I don’t wanna hear your gay ass’ bump uglies, fuck that noise I’m going home.” - I like this kid he's annoying as shit

AWWW SHE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT THE CAR AND TAKING NATSUKI OUT GOD SHE'S ADORABLE

GASP IS IT GETTING S-S-S-STEAMY 😨

oh Yuri is here to talk in actually so concerned about her :<

“We call these slip ups ‘battle scars’, as every day with an addiction like this, it’s a battle.” “A battle she’s winning.” - ohhh my god Monika so being so sweet [don't it's so cute]

“Hey there pretty lady, haven’t seen you around before" - GOD she's a dork

 “Oooo I think Yuri has a thing for you!” - OHHH MY GOODNESS PANICS IS THAT POSSIBLE SAYURI IN MY MONISUKI FIC

fucking sue is back get this bitch outta here

OH THEY FIGHTING OHHHHHH SHIT

BREAK A BITCH YURI LET'S FUCKING GOOO

AND BREAK A BITCH SHE DID OH MY GOD SHE BROKE HER ARM?!

oh wait I forgot Yuri is trans and her mom isn't about that

“I had no clue what he was putting his family through and I spit on his name.” - honestly w from Yuri's mom though

“Bitch broke my nose is the damage, a rock busted my eyebrow when she dropped me too apparently.” “Hope Yuri gave her ass internal bleeding!” - YEAHHH

No, stop! Don’t look at me like that, we aren’t doing that right now, you’re all jacked up you horny freak! - ...I fear Monika is a little too real in this scene like 🧍‍♂️

“Isleptwithsayori!” - OHHH MY GOD THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED NO SHE DID NOT

SAYURI IN MY MONISUKI FIC IM FUCKING WINNING IN LIFE besides being hella sick myself RN OH MY LORD

CHAPTER 4 OF FIREWORKS birthdays and battle scars OUT NOW!!

tw for some extreme violence and tame s- s- sexual content! *gulp*

Pings under the cut

@secretly-sayori @ilikeddlc (comment to be added to the list.)

[tinydeskwriter]

The 7 B’s- Part I

Warnings: Pregnancy (that’s the only thing I can think about at the moment, maybe fluffly? by the end?)

A/n: This was a request, a Jack xEm’s Daughter, I didn’t feel comfortable using his actual daughters, so I created a ‘Y/n’ born in 1999, I love Eminem, I think he’s the greatest, I’am looking forward to see where this is going.

The 7 B’s- Part I

Books Before Boys Because Boys Bring Babies. Was her father saying for her and her sisters growing up.

Jesus Roosevelt Christ. Daddy is going to blow a casket. It was the only thing she could think of looking the five tests on top of her bathroom sink as if with the manifestation of her will the result would change.

Shit.

The only time she did something the least bit impulsive, and that happened. It could only be karma. It was the only answer.

How would she raise a baby? What about her career? She had two companies, insane hours, always traveling. How would a kid, a newborn at that, fit into that routine?

Y/n hadn't even stopped to think about the baby's father. It had been a one-night stand, she wasn’t proud to admit it —her dad would kill her—. An extremely handsome and confident tall, blue eyed, curly haired guy she had met at a party — Drake’s 35th birthday party—, attraction and horniness took part, she made the walk of shame early the next morning—a bogus excuse about a early meeting— she got his phone number and never called back.

And now she was carrying his baby.

Out of curiosity she had goggled him after their night of indiscretion—sue her—, he was a promise of hip-hop—Drake’s heir apparent, he was been called— an extremely attractive young man, with smooth, sleek sound, and cult-like following of obsessed girls. He was charismatic—she would admit to having watched one or two interviews with him, it was impossible not to be drawn to his magnetism— and endearingly confident—that’s how she ended up with five positive tests, damn those eyes—.

Jesus, she was pregnant with a rapper's baby. Her father was going to go Godzilla her.

She needed to tell her team. Text her sisters and beg for secrecy. Put on her big girl pants and talk to Jack. And getting her parents together to share the news—she could avoid telling her parents as much as possible, but she knew it would be worse—. She needed to make an appointment with an obstetrician. And maybe even start looking at the things she would need for the baby. She started making the mental list

Maybe not in that order.

{I need you to make an appointment with an OB/GY ASAP!!!}

{please}

{thank u}

Y/n sent it to Liv, her personal assistant.

Scrolling through her contacts, the young woman found the next person she needed to talk to.

{Hey Jack, it's Y/n}

{From Drake's party…}

{I'll be in Atlanta next week}

{Can we see each other?}

It wasn't exactly a lie, she'd be in the Atlanta area on business…okay, she was going to Tennessee to inspect the new addition to her company's product portfolio, but Tennessee and Georgia are neighboring states.

It didn't take long for her to receive an answer from him. She didn't know if that said more about Jack's anticipation of a booty call or the inefficiency of her private assistant to answer her texts.

{Hey Little Miss Shady!It took you long enough to use my number}

Drake sure had a big mouth.

{Sure}

{Send me the details}

She hoped he would maintain his enthusiasm after she broke the news.

——#——

“Okay,” he said.

Not exactly the greatest response to I’m pregnant.

Usually he was a bit smoother, but he had been taken by surprise.

This wasn’t exactly where he’d thought the night was going to go.

She’d texted him a week before that day telling him she would be in town and asking if they could see each other, and when he’d suggested drinks at a new cocktail bar she’d replied with Can you come to my hotel?

He should have known that she hadn’t texting for that. After all, he hadn’t heard from her in three months, not since he’d woken up to find her dressing for meeting. He’d asked for her number and she’d responded by asking for his. He’d given it, she was cool, if not a little mean, and the sex was fantastic—the best of his twenty three years of life—.

He wasn’t used to girls not texting or calling—it was usually the other way around—, so he hadn’t realized until he’d told the guys about her that it had been a blow-off —Drake even commented that he liked to live dangerously, and that's how Jack found out Y/n was the youngest daughter of none other than Eminem—. She was her dad's hype-man when he performed at the Oscars, it was all over the news man, how come you didn't recognize her?

When she’d texted earlier it should have been set of alarm bells in his head that something was up, but it hadn’t. She made him a little stupid. Which was a cause for concern.

“Right,” Y/n said, when it became clear he was incapable of saying anything else, if anything, he looked a little bit in shock, “So… Just to be clear I’m going to keep it, the baby I mean, and um, I’m not… you don’t have to do anything, I just wanted you to know that you’d be a father.”

“Are you sure?” He asked.

She nodded, brushing her fingers through her pretty hair as though this was a perfectly normal conversation, “Definitely. Money isn’t a problem, I’ll need a nanny or two anyway so, yeah I mean if you want to just…pretend like we didn’t have this conversation then that’s fine.”

“No,” He shook his head, “I mean, are you sure you’re pregnant and that…I’m the father?”

Her cheeks went a little red, “Yes, trust me I would not have put either of us through this conversation if I hadn’t already had a doctor confirm it. And as for you being the father…Fuck you a little, I'm not one of your desperate groupies.” She ran her hand through her hair again and took a deep breath. “We can do a DNA test after the baby is born, but you were the first and only guy I slept with since my ex.” Y/n shrugged.

“I’m really acing this conversation, huh?,” he asked running his hand through his curls nervously.

To his surprise she smiled, it made her look younger. Not that she was old, only twenty-two, but when she smiled she looked like a kid herself, all dimples and crinkled blue eyes.

It was the first thing he’d noticed about her.

“I don’t think there’s really a right way of reacting to it,” she shrugged, “And if there is, I haven’t found it.”

He couldn’t help but grin at that. He’d liked that about her from the start, she didn’t put on a front. She was guarded, surely, but she didn’t try to make you think more of her.

“I’ve got a lot to think about, millions of things really, but being a Dad… the decision to be one, I mean, isn’t one of them. I’m in. I’m all in.” He caught the whisper of her smile. That smile was so much more powerful than he’d given it credit for.

Now he had to inform his parents that he had gotten a girl pregnant.

Girl.

Parents.

Shit, he just hoped he wouldn't be the target of a diss track in the future. Look at MGK's rap career, and he just called the guy's daughter 'hot'.

[casbeeminestiel]

I had a really fun time writing this one. I've got zero plan for where this month takes me, but much like Dean in this fic, I'm enjoying the ride.

This one is mildly spicy. I haven't quite worked up to a full M or E, so I'll go ahead and rate this one a T for now. Ask to tag!

Day 4: Wicked

Hunts are few and far between these days. With Chuck’s downfall came a few months with no paranormal activity, giving every hunter in the country a bit of a much needed break. Even though cases have begun to appear once more, Dean has realized that they are nowhere near the volume they were before they iced God. In fact, about half of the leads they chase these days turn out to be false.

Still, a job is a job. This is why, when a potential haunting pops up in Rhode Island, he decides to take the case. Dean shoots a quick text off to Cas. The angel is currently out doing “bonding activities” with Jack and Claire, who had shown up shortly after breakfast for a surprise visit. Dean shakes his head and wonders what they’re up to, knowing that bonding activities probably means at least one felony. 

From the looks of it, the spirit is not out for blood yet. Right now, it seems to be more of a nuisance for real estate agents. Whatever it is has chased out four potential buyers from an old house in Newport.

He raps on Sam’s door.

“Sammy, I’ve got something in New England. You and Eileen want to come along?”

He hears a muffled curse from inside Sam’s room, followed by a thump. Sam’s voice carries through the door.

“What is it?”

“A casper in Newport is shaking up the housing market.”

Sam opens the door, hair in complete disarray and a deeply skeptical look on his face.

“And you need my help for that?”

Dean sighs. “Tone down the bitchface, man. I don’t need your help, but I thought we could make it a family thing. Sue me.”

Sam unclenches and reaches a hand up to smooth down his diva hair. “Yeah, ok. Give me an hour to get ready.”

“Make it two. This thing ain’t urgent. No one will touch that house. Plus we’ve gotta give Cas and the kids time to clean up whatever situation they’re getting into right now.”

Sam laughs a little at that. “What, you don’t think they’re apple picking or something?”

“Not a chance.”

“Wanna bet ten bucks that Claire is somehow roping Jack into trouble and the kid doesn’t even realize it?”

“We both know I would lose that bet. Claire is evil.”

“She gets it from you,” Sam teases.

Dean will accept that. “I feel sorry for Cas.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Cas can hold his own. He also gets that from you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m a bad influence on the guy,” Dean shrugs. “At least his music taste is better than yours. I don’t know where I went wrong with you, but you really put the hair in hair rock.”

Sam just squints at him for a moment, letting him sit with his own joke before straightening. “Right. Anyways, I’m going to tell Eileen the plan and get ready. Let me know when the others are all set to go.”

“You do that, bitch.”

“Whatever, jerk.”

………

Almost exactly two hours later, they’re all packed in Baby. Cas and Claire are in the front with Dean, and Sam, Eileen, and Jack are in the backseat. Claire has her own car of course, but it died unexpectedly in the driveway when she tried to start it.

“No I didn’t leave my light on, jackass,” had been the preemptive reply to Dean’s question. Claire scares him a little, but mostly she reminds him of himself in a not-totally-reassuring way.

As snarky as Claire is, she chooses to be a good sport and rides with them rather than calling AAA. Dean promises to fix her car when they get home from the case. Her one condition is that she gets to sit shotgun. Nobody wants to argue with her, including Sam.

They roll Northeastward as fast as Dean can go without getting pulled over, taking all the backroads they can to avoid major traffic. Dean has been on some truly long drives before, where the roads seemed to lead nowhere and the next gas station was easily one hundred miles away. He shudders, thinking of US 95 in Oregon. Talk about desolate.

But this one is shaping up to be good. He’s got all his favorite people in one vehicle, his favorite cassettes on deck, a nice and easy haunting to squash, and no big bad on the horizon. Hell, he even has money to burn on a nicer hotel for the night, and he will be using it.

Maybe I can get some alone time with Cas. 

He glances at Cas over Claire’s head where she has it buried in a book, only to find him watching Dean already. Dean smiles bashfully and hopes Cas can’t see the pleased flush rising to his face. Judging by the way his eyes light up though, he can.

This thing between them is largely responsible for the high he’s been riding for the past few days. It’s a wonderful development, truly, but it’s also very new. Dean wants to enjoy the honeymoon phase of their relationship just a little longer before they settle into things more. 

He knows, of course, that he’ll enjoy being with Cas just as much in ten years as he will in ten days, because it’s Cas, and he’s perfect even when he’s the most idiotic and infuriating son of a bitch alive. But he reserves the right to be horny and dumb about his partner when he’s in his prime.

So yeah, he’s booking two singles and one double for the night. 

Humming along the highway, lost in his own mildly solicitous thoughts, Dean doesn’t hear Sam at first when he pipes up from the back.

“Dean, are you listening?”

“Hm?” Dean very resolutely does not look at Cas right now. He especially doesn’t look at his lips. Nope, that would be a bad idea. He needs to pay attention to the road. 

“I said,” Sam starts imperiously, “that I was reading this article about regional dialect, and there was this link to a quiz at the bottom. It’s supposed to guess where you’re from based on your vocabulary. I think we should take turns taking the quiz.”

“Huh, alright. Lay it on me.”

Sam starts in on a series of questions, asking Dean how he pronounces different words and the terminology he uses for a variety of commonplace objects. The others in the car offer their own commentary, especially Claire.

“There’s no way people call a water fountain that.”

“Claire, you’re literally from the midwest. Have you never heard anyone refer to it like that?”

“I like that word,” Jack says, not looking up from his game.

“It is a fun word,” Eileen agrees. “Bubbler.”

“Sam, did it give you my social security number yet?”

Sam is frowning in the rearview, clearly puzzled. “Actually, it can’t seem to pinpoint your region. Your map is showing some similarity everywhere.”

Dean thinks on this for a moment before he gets it.

“Dude, we were raised on the road. You and I have picked up words from everywhere.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. So we have generic dialects then?”

“Guess so.”

Soon, Claire demands to take the quiz, and is the first one who gets a fairly accurate location, unsurprisingly. She’s spent more of her life in the midwest than not. 

Cas thinks the quiz is a waste of time (“I don’t think they have enochian in their database, Dean.”), but he indulges his family anyway.

“Cas, the results are showing your location as somewhere around… Kansas.”

“I do spend most of my time in Kansas.” His tone is dirt dry, but Dean can tell he’s secretly amused by all of this dialect business.

“You’re a billion years old. Have a few years in Kansas really made that much of a difference?” Claire asks.

Cas tilts his head, meets Dean’s eyes with intention. “Perhaps.”

Oh, he’s flirting with you.

Dean swallows. Cas can definitely see that he’s blushing now. 

……… 

Sam seems to be down a dialect rabbit hole today, telling them facts about different regions and how they developed linguistically over time. By the time he reaches a few articles about New England, everyone's a little punch drunk and overtired. Dean is determined to make this drive in one go. The others can sleep if they want. He just needs a little coffee in him, and he’ll be able to make it to Cleveland before he switches off with Sam. 

“Get this. People in Massachusetts and Rhode Island emphasize things they really like as ‘wicked.’” 

Dean snorts, startling a half-asleep Claire from where she’s been nodding off against his shoulder. She glares at him, earning an apologetic grin.

Cas, who has been “resting his eyes” but is seemingly aware of this conversation, murmurs a request for an example from Sam. Dean wants to wrap him in a blanket so fucking bad right now.

“So uh, imagine you’re eating a good sandwich.”

“I don’t know what a good sandwich tastes like, Sam. I don’t need to eat.”

“It’s just a hypothetical.”

“I personally like the footlongs from Subway.”

“Gross, Dean.” Sam pulls a face.

“The more inches the better, right Cas?” He winks at the angel. The look he gets in return is so worth Sam’s disgusted noises from the back. Half-lidded eyes track lazy and hot over his frame from the passenger side. Dean finds his lips suddenly very dry.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Your face says otherwise, Sunshine.

“Anyways,” Sam coughs, “someone from New England might say the sandwich is wicked good or wicked awesome.”

“Doesn’t wicked have a negative connotation?”

“Normally, yes. But people make their own rules for this stuff, man.”

“After all this time on earth, humanity finds new ways to surprise me.”

“I’ll bet.” Sam chuckles.

“Hey Sam, what do they call a sandwich in New England?”

“They have a few terms for sandwiches. Subs, spukies, grinders-” Sam cringes, immediately knowing he messed up. “No, Dean. Don’t.”

“Grinder?”

“Please.”

“But Sammy-,”

“Stop.”

“I don’t even know her!”

Sam groans and buries his face in his hands. Dean for one is very pleased with himself. And hey, he even made Cas crack a smile.

“That was a wicked good joke, Dean.” Eileen, apparently not asleep, chimes in. 

“I’m here all night.”

“I don’t get it.” Jack is right behind Dean, so silent for the past hour that Dean forgot he doesn’t need sleep. Dean immediately does damage control to spare himself from Cas’ wrath.

But he’s hot when he’s mad.

Shut the fuck up, brain.

“I’ll explain it when you’re a little older, kid. Adult joke.”

“But physically I’m-,”

“Don’t care. You’re not old enough.”

“Dean!”

“Talk to your dad about it.” He means Cas, who does not look happy to be saddled with this conversation, but he forgets one important thing about Jack.

He is swiftly reminded.

“Which one?”

“The one who isn’t Lucifer, obviously.”

“You? I’m already talking to you.”

Dean gapes, just a little. He won’t get emotional about Jack seeing him as a father figure. He won’t.

Wait.

“Kid, you ain’t fooling me. You know I’m referring to Cas. Talk to him about it. He makes the rules.”

“Oh, but I was hoping you could override them.”

Dean’s mind is going down a very specific path regarding Cas and rules, so it takes him a second too long to catch up. Unfortunately for his overheated brain, Cas decides to intervene.

“Dean knows better than that.” There’s a suggestion in that rather confident statement that makes Dean go hot all over, the tips of his ears burning and his palms sweating. 

He really likes this, the back and forth routine they’ve got going on right now. They haven’t had sex yet, content for now to let things simmer while they get used to each other in this new capacity. They haven’t really talked about it either. There seems to be an understanding between them that they are both ready, and have been ready in some way for twelve years, but neither of them have made a move.

It feels less like first time nervousness and more like a game. It’s anticipation undercut with mutual responsibility and respect for each other. Cat and mouse, a delicate dance, etcetera. Bottom line is, Dean loves this, and he loves Cas even more. 

………

Sam takes the wheel in Ohio, and Dean passes out for a few hundred miles.

When he wakes up with a familiar crick in his neck, they’re well into Connecticut. The trees lining the freeway are a watercolor riot of red, yellow, and orange leaves and striking birch bark. He presses his palm against the window, feeling the chill seep into his hand from the pane. It must be early, then.

“Morning sleepyhead.” He’s greeted by a grinning Eileen, whose shoulder he has definitely not been drooling on this whole time. He knows immediately by the sing-songy cadence of her voice that she has a picture stored away for blackmail.

In the front seat, a ray of morning sun lights up Cas’ side profile as he appears to be deep in a discussion with Claire and Sam. Dean forgets all about his blackmail suspicions, breath caught in his chest and warmth percolating through his body at the sight of him.

It’s not even lust, is the craziest part. Obviously he feels desire too, but this is much bigger than that. Because for a moment, his sore neck and pins and needles and the other occupants of this car whom he cares deeply about all fade away when he simply looks at Cas. 

Goddamn, I want to wake up to see your face every day. 

He must’ve prayed it, because Cas turns to look at him with a smile so sweet, Dean swears his tooth begins to ache. 

Dean thinks, certainly not for the first or last time, that he might be dreaming. That Cas, grounding, charming, genuine, stubborn, perfect Cas couldn’t possibly be real. But when the angel winks like a dork and turns Dean’s insides into mush, what he does know is that what they have is too wicked damn awesome to ever let go.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo - how y/n made friends with everyone

this is an extra to the great adventures series

requested: yes/no

warnings: cursing

tommy

you were actually friends with tommy when he was streaming to a few viewers, and you even watched as his channel grew. eventually he asked you to mod for him, as he knew he could trust you and because had experience being a twitch mod. he was also the reason you began streaming. as for how you met, you were in the same classes as him in highschool, and since you were the ‘quiet’ person in the class, they sat tommy next to you. honestly, you hated him when you first met him and the feeling was mutual. you didn’t want to sit next to the rather loud teenager and he had no one to talk to anymore as his friends were on the other side of the room.

“do you ever talk?”

“heh?”

“i said do you ever talk...do you always do that”

“do what”

“that fucking HeH.”

“are you mocking me simons?”

“noooo why would i do that...”

“it’s y/n.”

“right, yeah, yeah, i totally knew that.”

“great now please leave me alone i’m trying to work.”

“loser.”

“the fuck did you just say?”

“nothing.”

it was that moment tommy decided he was going to make you just like him, and a few years later that’s exactly what he did. by year 11 you and tommy had grown extremely close. the last day of school arrived a lot earlier than expected, everyone was extremely stressed, no one knew what to expect or what was going to happen. you found yourself hanging around with tommy a lot more as you had no idea if you would both be going to the same college, in september you received a text message that made your night:

tommy: college sent out emails telling you if you were accepted go check

*2 minutes later*

tommy: well?

y/n: i got accepted

tommy: me too

y/n: call me right now

tommy: i’m about to stream..have you ever considered streaming?

y/n: absolutely not

tommy: make an account and stream after me i’ll raid you..make me mod you know how people can be

once college started up, you were slightly nervous the two of you would drift away from each other. however this was far from the case, although you both did different subjects and he was only in on wednesdays, the pair of you would hang out together a lot more. he would be in your streams and vice versa, you would either be in his tiktoks, or you would be the one filming them.

“y/n make a tiktok we can be mutuals.”

“please god no.”

you spent so much time at his house either talking about random things, playing whatever game you could find, or streaming. he dragged you to every meet up he went on, allowing you to meet people such as niki, phil, and, wilbur. you didn’t know this, but he would constantly bring you up in conversations with dream, which eventually lead to you joining the smp in october where you would later be able to meet the likes of jack, technoblade and jschlatt. the only person you didn’t seem to see on the server was his other friend tubbo.

ranboo

you had become friends with scott after being his first twitch mod and when he noticed you started streaming, he was extremely supportive, always raiding your stream once he ended his. today you found yourself bickering with scott because he wouldn’t let you in mcc despite the fact you were ‘the best minecraft player.’

“y/n, i watched you die in minecraft 7 times last night within 5 minutes.”

“oh i’m sorry mr perfect, let me in mcc.”

“no.”

“fine i’ll make my own.”

and that’s exactly what you did..well you tried your best.

you started your stream as soon as scott ended and had him call you on discord after explaining to your chat what you were about to do.

“scott final chance let me in mcc, i’ll settle for access to the practice server.”

“fine.”

“REALLY?!”

“absolutely not!”

“fuck you, ill be in it one day!”

you left the call telling chat you didn’t need that negative energy in your life.

you really have scott to thank for you making friends with ranboo, scott made a tweet explaining what you were doing on stream which caught ranboos eye.

Smajor1995: after not making it into mcc again my good friend @y/n has decided to take it upon themselves to make their own on stream!! ill also be in the stream (if they answer my calls) *twitch link*

ranboo joined your stream and was instantly met with you yelling at scott (again) to let you in mcc.

“IM YOUR TWITCH MOD!”

“i will ban you from mcc!”

“you don’t have the nerve... so he left the call this is bullshit watch me land this water bucket clutch down this ravine so we can find axolotls and build an army.”

*you died*

you pulled your hood over your face before sinking down your chair taking a deep breath.

“FUCK!”

you calmly got back up and looked into your camera.

“i was so close, so very close.. HEY CHAT SCOTT SENT ME A LINK TO THE SERVER!”

a few minutes later you were able to get onto the server, only to be kicked less than a minute later. the reason you were banned being ‘i watched you fail the water bucket clutch down a ravine.’

you continued your build on your server and just spent the rest of the stream talking about anything that crossed your mind, that was until you decided to copy ace race. once finished, you looked into your camera and pulled your microphone closer to you.

“so this is race ace, so scott doesn’t sue me, and basically it’s going to be this course, but i’m going to change a random section practice it every day, not tell anyone it changed. of course i’m going to tell my team we have to win, oh fuck i forgot scott was watching my stream..it’s okay he didn’t hear me he’s too busy planning how he can rig the next mcc.”

ranboo found himself enjoying your content and even noticed you in his chat multiple times.

“just a minute chat i’m just sending an important dm to my mods.”

that’s when you noticed chat paused for a minute after you sent a message, it confused you for a minute before realising ranboo made you a vip on his channel and you decided to do the same for him on your channel, from there you added each other on discord. the pair of you made friends extremely quickly, you were constantly part of his streams as you would call him on discord not realising that he was streaming.

“hi y/n, by the way i’m streaming”

“i just wanted to ask if you knew how to break into a house?”

“....why”

“i locked myself out by accident and my parents are asleep come help me.”

“you are in the uk.”

“okay? catch a flight.”

chat honestly loved you and your friendship with ranboo. the pair of you only met a few weeks ago and you were already acting as though you had known each other for years.

jack

you and jack met for the first time on the smp, which would have been fine, however you met during lore and your characters weren’t exactly the best of friends. once lore had ended, everyone said their goodbyes and left the call. a few moments later you received a discord message from jack asking if you were available to call any time soon. since you were back in lockdown, you had plenty of free time. you arranged a time and date a few days later you called jack, where you had your first proper interaction out of character.

“hello jack!!”

“oh hi y/n i just thought it may be a good idea to get to know each other, well you know considering we’re both on the dream smp.”

“yeah, yeah, i understand what you mean.”

the pair of you ended up getting along with each other, it was slightly awkward for the first 5 minutes of the call, but that was expected since you hadn’t really met jack before and were anxious to call him. however, after that the conversation started to flow and you found out the pair of you had a lot in common making it easy to come up with things to talk about. it ended up feeling as though you were catching up with a friend you hadn’t spoken to for a while.

“has anyone told you your accent is really strong.”

“so is yours, y/n, what the fuck is that supposed to mean.”

“it means your accent is strong, duh.”

jack asked if you’d like to stay in call and join him on the smp whilst he streamed, and you gladly accepted the offer as you really didn’t want to do your college work, and you were enjoying your time with him. a few minutes into the stream jack had killed you several times.

“JACK STOP KILLING ME!”

rather than answering you he just sat laughing. he then went on to attempt to mute him microphone, he failed. however he didn’t realise this, so you sat listening to his plan on how he was going to kill you again. this time you were prepared, you sent a message to tommy telling him to log on along with your location. few minutes later tommy was by your side and helped you kill jack several times for revenge.

“Y/N...TOMMY!!”

“you didn’t mute your mic, so i told tommy you were bullying me.”

“im gonna go...BYE JACK, BYE Y/N, ILL SEE YOU SOON!”

“i can’t believe you.”

“hey you’re the one who didn’t turn your mic off.”

“how did you know?”

“i had your stream on my other monitor.”

“ayeee you watch my streams?”

“...i’ve been a sub for 4 months.”

the two of you stayed chatting and playing for another hour. the pair of you were already so close and you had only met each other the other day. this was just the start of your friendship, soon enough you were in a laugh and the stream ends challenge on his stream, however due to lockdown rules this was done over discord leading to you accidentally leaving the call several times.

“and they’re gone again!”

*4 minutes later*

“SORRY JACK IM BACK!”

“stop leaving y/n!”

“oh i’m sorry, let me just go yell at my wifi to stop cutting out!”

a few seconds later you could be heard faintly in the background screaming at your wifi as it would continue to buffer. as soon as restrictions were over one of the first things you decided to do was go to jacks and stream a laugh you lose where there was a punishment if you were responsible for losing the last heart. however everything was apparently hilarious in person as you would constantly laugh, meaning you were responsible for losing the last heart.

“y/n give me your phone.”

“no.”

“you lost let me tweet from your account”

“fine..”

soon enough your fans and friends with your notifications on received this twitter notification

“y/n: jack is so cool and funny he is also really tall i am not”

tubbo

tubbo was actually the last person you met and made friends with, your community were convinced for some reason that you both didn’t like each other and that’s why the pair of you didn’t talk to each other. this was far from the case you were both waiting for the right time, tubbo was an extremely busy teenager and you didn’t want to interrupt him, and tubbo knew you were currently in a stressful position since you had recently joined the dream smp, also you were still meeting people so he didn’t want to stress you out. this doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be your friend, he actually asked tommy since he had been your friend for at least 4 years what would be the best way of getting to know you.

“mate they hated me when we first met, just talk to them or something. you could have met them the last time i went up to visit you, but they ended up not feeling too good and went back to the hotel room.”

“when are you next coming up?”

“how about next week, and i’ll bring y/n, i really don’t understand why you’re nervous tubbo, it’s y/n they wouldn’t hurt a fly..well hmm.”

“see you next week then!”

a week later tommy dragged you to the train station.

“uh tommy where are we going?”

“...on a train.”

“no way, really? oh my god!”

a few hours later you finally got off the train.

“ill go with my dad to check into the hotel room, do you want to come with us or?”

“i think i’ll go for a walk and stretch my legs.”

“right okay, meet you at the beach later”

you spent a few minutes walking around the beach picking up any rocks and shells that caught your eye, little did you know it would result in you meeting tubbo. once you finished putting your new collection in your pockets you noticed a small crowd of people walk up to someone asking for pictures assuming it was tommy you walked over to the boy, it wasn’t tommy it was in fact tubbo. at first you stayed silent not wanting to really cause attention to yourself. you only spoke up when some people started to make inappropriate comments towards him.

“oh sorry to be a pain guys me and tubbo have plans with tommy in a few minutes, we should go so we’re not late. bye guys.”

you smiled and waved as they walked away. you looked over to tubbo, you could tell he was still pretty anxious about what just happened and honestly if you was in his position, you would react the same way.

“we should probably move from here incase they come back and see you’re still here, are you okay?”

“im feeling better now it’s over..thank you”

“oh it’s no problem i’m, y/n btw.”

“wait you and tommy were still meant to be on the train.”

“the train was actually on time, tommy went to check into the hotel i wanted to stretch my legs, i also wanted to collect some rocks.”

“did you collect enough or did you want more?”

“im not going to say no if you wanna go collect some with me.”

the pair of you walked around keeping each other close incase the people from before returned. half an hour later, the pair of you sat on a bench close to the beach so you could show tubbo everything you decided to pick up, he ended up keeping a rock he liked to have as a memory. tubbo wrapped an arm around you as it was getting cold whilst you watched the sunset.

“tubbo i think tommy forgot about me.”

“you can spend the night at mine, i’ll send him a message to let him know.”

“are you sure?”

“of course!”

“this has to be the most unsafe thing either of us will ever do, we hardly know each other and now i’m staying at yours.”

tommy sent you a message explaining that he didn’t forget, there was a problem at the other hotel and they had to go find another one, but you’ll be fine to stay at tubbos for the night. the pair of you spent the entire night learning as much as you can about the other person. it had only been an evening but you already knew the pair of you would be great friends.

taglist:

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

[expectingtofly]

Claire Novak's (Surprisingly) Not-So-Lame Day

2k

this fic is written for @dean-has-great-taste as part of @starrynightdeancas' gift exchange. thanks sophie for organizing this, it was a lot of fun <33 and i hope you enjoy this, gen!!

*****

How did Claire find herself joining Dean, Cas, and Jack for an excursion to the mall?

Well.

Cas had texted her yesterday, with an extreme amount of emojis and emoticons that took some time to decipher, asking if she wanted to go shopping with him, Dean, and Jack. Apparently Jack needed new clothes and they needed a gift for Eileen’s birthday coming up, and maybe they could go bowling or something afterwards.

And normally she would’ve said no way because hanging out with old guys was lame and she didn’t like little kids, but she needed an excuse to get out of Jody and Donna’s weekend plans of cleaning out the garage. Plus, Kaia needed to study for a test—she actually enjoyed school, the weirdo—and had requested no distractions.

So that’s how she found herself sitting in the back of the Impala next to a carseat, listening to one of Dean’s old cassette tapes (which wasn’t too bad, but she’d never admit it).

“What’s that?” Jack asked, stretching against his carseat straps to jab at one of the pins Claire wore on her leather jacket.

“It’s the lesbian flag,” she told him. Cas looked back at them from the front seat, smiling.

“This one?” Jack pointed to the rainbow pin on her pocket.

“It’s the pride flag.”

Jack considered that for a moment before announcing, “I want one. And this one.” He pointed to the mothman pin on her lapel, then the big-eyed, green alien. “And this one... and this one, and this one.” (Alex said she had more pins than leather on her jacket, but sue her, she liked making her clothing her own).

Jack, it seemed, also liked… unique clothing. The kid was wearing rain boots even though the sun was out and overalls with embroidered flowers. He dressed weird, there was no way around it. But so did Cas, so there was probably no hope for him, poor kid.

“Okay,” she decided. “I know where to get you some.”

Jack beamed and swung his legs. “Don’t kick the seat,” Dean told him, and Jack pouted at him.

Claire was surprised Dean even let a carseat in his precious Impala. Pulling out her phone, she asked, “Can we listen to my music?”

Dean started to respond with a “Hell no,” but Cas spoke up first, “Of course.”

Dean spluttered as Claire connected to the bluetooth connector Sam had finally convinced Dean to install. The old man didn’t realize it was the 21st century, apparently.

“I wanna listen to Gaga!” Jack said, leaning over to look at her phone.

At first she thought that was some baby talk, then she realized Jack was into pop music. Ugh. But it would annoy Dean, so...

Leaning in conspiratorially with Jack, she let him scroll through her phone and choose which song to play. When “Born This Way” started filtering through the car, Dean groaned.

“Really?” he asked, sending her a glare in the rearview mirror. Mission accomplished.

Jack clapped along and Cas turned the music up louder. “Great choice, Jack,” he said.

Dean, for all his grumbling, didn’t turn down the music, and Claire caught him glancing at Cas, who tapped his fingers on his thigh to the beat. Dean looked like he was fighting back a smile and Claire rolled her eyes. Dude was so whipped.

When they parked at the mall, Cas grabbed Jack’s hand before he could sprint across the parking lot. “You have to look both ways,” he reminded him gently, and Jack nodded.

“Claire’s gonna buy me pins,” he said, jumping onto the curb.

“Yup.” Claire pat her jacket pocket. “Good ol’ credit card fraud.”

“Woah, now,” Dean started to protest.

“You and Sam are the ones who taught me!” Claire reminded him.

“We’ll pay for them,” Cas said, opening the door to the mall. Jack skipped inside, his rain boots squeaking on the tiled floor.

“We’re doing what now?” Dean asked Cas, taking his hand. Gross.

“Come on, Jack,” Claire said, catching up to the toddler. “Let’s go get you some style.” Over her shoulder, she called, “Meet up with you guys later.”

“Have fun!” Cas called.

“Don’t get kidnapped,” Dean added.

As they distanced themselves from the old geezers, Jack grabbed her hand, and Claire startled a little. “Do you like dinosaurs?” he asked.

Someone passing by gave them a smile, and Claire realized people probably thought Jack was her younger brother. She let him hold her hand anyway. “Sure.”

“What’s your favorite? Mine is the bon-ta-sore-us.” He sounded out the word carefully.

“Don’t know. What’s the one with the spiky horns?”

“Ti-ce-a-tops?”

“Yeah, that sounds cool.”

“That’s my second favorite!” He started jumping from one colored tile to the next. “And the T-Rex. That’s Dee’s favorite. And Dad likes the steg-a-sore-us.” He peered up at her. “Did you know he got to see dinosaurs? Right in front of him!”

“You know what that means, right?” He shook his head. “He’s super old. He’s basically a dinosaur himself.”

Jack’s eyes widened. “He’s a dinosaur,” he repeated in a hushed whisper.

“Yup.” Spotting Hot Topical, she headed that way. “You should tell him that.”

Inside the store, Jack let go of her hand to grab a stuffed cat. “Claire! Like yours!”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Yeah.” So, she still had the Grumpy Cat Cas had bought her. She wasn’t cruel enough to throw it away when the guy was trying so hard to make up for walking around in her dead dad’s body. Plus, the stuffed animal was kinda cute. Not that she was going to tell anyone that.

“Here ya go,” she told Jack, finding a box of pins at the register. She brought the box down to his level and Jack ran over to look inside.

“I want a Doc McStuffins pin,” he said, plunging his hand into the box.

“I don’t know if they have those.”

As they rooted through the box of pins, she heard familiar voices and looked up to see Dean and Cas walking inside.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked.

“I like this store,” Cas said and Dean rolled his eyes. Among the pleather and black, Cas’ dingy old trench coat—over a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt instead of a suit—and Dean’s ratty flannel and boots only looked more ridiculous. She took it back—even Jack dressed better than them.

“You guys don’t have to be in here,” she told them.

“What, we’re too old?” Dean asked defensively.

“Yeah, actually.”

Cas poked at a toy and it squeaked. God, could they be any more embarrassing?

“Dad!” Jack called, holding out a rainbow pin. “Look, they have soo many.” Cas joined Jack in going through the pins and Claire asked Dean, giving his outfit a meaningful look,

“Was the Army Surplus store too trendy for you?”

“Did they kick you out of Sephora for buying up all the eyeliner?“ Dean shot back.

Touché. In a truce, she held out a pin with the bisexual flag. She wasn’t really sure what Dean identified as, if he even gave it any thought, but guessed it was close enough. “For you.”

Dean rolled his eyes but took it. “I’m not weighing down my jacket with this crap, though.”

“No, ‘course not, that would mean having any sort of style.”

“Can I help you with anything?” asked an employee with two nose rings and jewelry up and down their ears— so cool. Claire saw the way their eyes flicked between them, probably thinking they made a weird group, and she took a step back, trying to silently communicate that yes, she was shopping with them, but no, she was not as lame as them.

“Just looking,” Dean told them.

“I like your drawings,” Jack said and the employee looked down at their arms which were littered with tattoos.

“Thanks.”

“My dad has a drawing. It’s Enochian.”

The employee—Wren, by the name tag—looked at Cas with new respect in their eyes. “Language of the angels. Sick.”

Cas looked pleased. “Thank you. It’s come in handy more than once.”

The employee went back to looking confused and, starting to walk away, told them to call if they needed anything.

“Do you want anything?” Cas asked Claire, and Claire looked through the box. She grabbed a pentagram pin and, seeming to copy her, Jack grabbed another one, clutching several pins already in his fists.

“You like bees, right?” Claire asked Cas, spotting a “Save the Bees” pin. She held it up for him.

Cas’ eyes brightened. “That’s a wonderful message.” He glanced back at Dean and frowned. “Dean, they’re not going to bite.”

Claire looked over to see Dean shying away from a few emo teens. “Look like it,” Dean muttered, joining them. Jack lifted up his hands, asking to be hoisted up. Dean set him on his hip and Jack showed him the pins he’d selected. He held a dinosaur pin to Dean’s collar.

“Do you want one, Dee?”

“He’s too lame,” Claire piped up. Not for the first time, she noticed the healed over piercing mark on Dean’s right ear and pointed to it. “Looks like he used to be cool, though.”

“Yeah, guess so,” Dean said dryly. His hand went to his earlobe. “Pierced it myself, in high school.”

“I think you’re still cool,” Cas told him, and Claire fake-gagged, making Jack giggle.

Cas took the pins to the cash register where Wren rang them up. Dean added the bisexual flag pin and Claire threw in a pair of spiky earrings, because, hey, they were paying.

“15.36,” Wren told them, dropping the pins into a bag.

“My dad’s a dinosaur,” Jack told them, trying to see over the edge of the counter. Wren raised an eyebrow, Cas looked surprised, and Claire stifled a laugh.

“Claire, help me,” Jack said, grabbing the bag from Cas as they exited the store. Moving to the side, Claire helped him attach the pins to his overalls. A smiley face, a pride flag, a grinning Stitch, a sunflower, a dinosaur, and the pentagram. The pins clacked as Jack tugged at his overalls, trying to look at them all. Overall, a chaotic look, but it kinda matched his vibe.

“Lookin’ good,” she told him, and Jack beamed.

“I’m like you!”

Alright, she wouldn’t take it that far, but, “Yeah, close enough.”

Cas attached the “Save the Bees” pins to his trench coat pocket and it ended up crooked. Rolling her eyes, Claire said, “Let me.”

She reattached the pin and stepping back to look it over, decided, “You could actually make that coat look cool if you added more stuff to it.”

Cas looked down at himself. “Thank you.”

“Nothing’s gonna save that sweatshirt, though.” Couldn’t let his ego get too big.

“Dean said he liked it,” Cas said, glancing back at Dean, who was shooting an evil eye at Claire. He quickly wiped it off his face and draped an arm over Cas’ shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s uh… Charming.” He guided Cas away from Claire. “Don’t listen to her, she still thinks sarcasm is a personality trait.”

“Screw you, old man,” she called. Jack skipped after them and she checked her phone to see Kaia had texted her: How’s everything going? They drive you crazy yet?

They’re so weird, she texted back. Then she added, They’re not too bad.

“Come on, Jack,” she said, hurrying to catch up with him, Dean, and Cas. “Let’s go get our ears pierced.”

“Yay!” Jack cheered. He grabbed her hand and tugged her down the mall.

“Woah, woah, you’re not doing that,” Dean protested like the wet blanket he was.

“You can get yours pierced too,” Claire told him, and he faltered,

“I don’t want, we’re not—“

“You know you want to.” She let Jack lead her away and Dean called after them,

“We're never bringing you shopping again!”

Grinning, she turned to shout over her shoulder, “You know you love me!”