#such a silly little guy am i right (he is suffering)

[paras1t1c-squ1dd]

OH YEAH I totally forgot, here's my persona!!!! Her name is Cosmo :3c

[prettyboykatsuki]

objects in the mirror | j. togame

✮ tags ; afab!reader + fem!reader, reader is so painfully dense / naive, ambiguous relationships, friends to ???, somewhat unrelieved sexual tension, sex toys, guided masturbation kinda, kissing, groping, nipples play, squirting, dialogue heavy, vaguely post canon, petnames (kame-chan and jo-chan for togame, baby for reader) 18+

✮ wc ; 6.4k (you have got to be fucking with me)

✮ a/n ; the one fic i wont be mad if you ask for part two on lolol. title from a mac miller song (my favorite mac miller song) that reminds me of a lot of characters but i felt really fit this fic.

go listen to it. his best track. also this like... mega got away from me. togame sorry for blueballing you.

✮ synopsis ; your only goal is to have a half-way decent orgasm. togame, as your best friend, is determined to help you reach it.

"So," Togame leans back into your bed. "You bought a vibrator and... can't use it? Because you keep psyching yourself out?"

"Yeah," You sigh with your head hung low. "Paid good money for it and it's collecting dust in my drawer. I'm miserable."

Togame smiles a little from where he's laid across the width of your bed, back propped up against the wall slightly with his legs hanging off one edge. You kick his side lightly as he fails to contain his amusement.

"Do you enjoy seeing me suffer, huh? You take amusement in my pain, you bastard?"

"Pfft," He snickers, turning a little to face you better. "It's kinda hard not too. Just seems..."

"You think it's stupid," You frown. He scratches his jaw.

"I wouldn't say that. A little silly but—"

"Which is another word for stupid," You point out. He shakes his head.

"The connotations different. Stupid would mean I'm insulting you. I don't think it's stupid. Ridiculous, maybe." And then he laughs to himself like a jackass. "No... I take it back. It's definitely ridiculous."

"You asshole. I should kick you out of my house."

He smiles knowingly, lazy and bemused. "You're not gonna,"

Smug bastard. You groan in defeat. "But I should."

He doesn't reply, brushing you off as easy as ever. "Sorry. Just not sure what exactly you want me to do with that information."

You throw your hands up in the air. "I dunno? Fucking help me. Offer solutions. Use whats left of your brain after getting the shit beat out of you as a teenager. Something."

"Now who's being an asshole." He quips. You frown.

"I'm sorry," You say easily. Togame smiles softly though you miss it while you're looking away. "But...ugh."

"Got such a way with words." He hums sarcastically before sobering a touch. He's scrolling through his phone not entirely paying attenion. "I don't really get why you're askin' me. Don't you have better candidates for this conversation?"

You give him a long-suffering look. "No. Unfortunately I live here, so the answer is not really. I can't talk to Kotoha or Tsubaki about this. We talk about guys and stuff but it's usually pretty PG."

"So I'm your stand in for a girl best friend?"

You tilt your head. "Huh? No. You're just my best friend. I would bitch to you about this either way."

He stares at you for a long while before scrubbing a hand down his face. You can't understand his sudden reaction, watching in confusion as he takes a deep breath.

"Right. Right, I'm your best friend." Togame mutters mostly to himself, sighing before going back to his usual demeanor. He rubs his under his eye. "Really dunno what you're asking for. You can whine however much you want, though."

"I'm not whining," You pause before sighing again. "Okay. Maybe I am whining, like, a little. But you would too if you were me, okay? I want to..." You make a face, the words suddenly feeling clumsy on your lips. You're not even doing anything and you're getting all weird about it. "I just wanna...cum."

Togame pauses. He sits up, sort of suddenly after that and finally has the decency to take off his boots. He scoots to the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor to do it, and you can't see his face when he speaks again. You don't think twice about it.

"Have you not? Like... ever?"

"Huh? No, I have but it's not really satisfying. It doesn't scratch the itch for me, you know? That's what the toy was for."

Togame takes another minute or two of silence as he takes off his boots. You wonder if it always takes him so long to take them off. Seems inconvenient.

He goes back to laying down, leaning on the wall with his legs spread out. "What kinda toy is it anyway?

"Oh, it's—" You stop in the middle of your sentence, brow furrowing. "Wait. Should I be telling you this?"

"Are you suddenly gaining self-awareness? Little late for that." He smiles.

"That's true," You reply, relaxing again with your arms crossed. "Nothing complicated. A rabbit vibrator, but the kinda expensive ones."

"How much?"

"Twelve-thousand yen. I got it on sale too,"

"No wonder you're so peeved you can't use it," Togame comments evenly. "A lot of money to be collecting dust. You even take it out the box?"

You deflate all over again. "Yeah. Charged it. Cleaned it too. But I put it back."

"Lemme see,"

"Huh? Oh, okay. Sure."

You don't bother asking why Togame wants to see your sex toy. It doesn't occur to you that there'd be any reasons outside of plain curiosity which you can understand. Togame dated a girl long-term so he knows some things, but you figure any girl with a decent boyfriend wouldn't need to make the same use of toys as you do. It'd make sense he's never seen one up close and personal.

You scoot to the edge of the bed and lean slightly as you open the side drawer and pull the toy out where it sits in nice, cardboard package. You pass it off to Togame before sitting back comfortably against your headboard.

He sits the box in his lap and stares at it for a long while.

You wonder if this is weird.

It doesn't bother you much either way, but it it is...

Odd, just how long Togame stares at it. He undoes the top of the folded box, pulling it back to reveal the soft, baby blue vibrator. It's six inches long and curved, with a soft rubber attachment to stimulate your clit and angle for your g-spot at the same time. Made with a high quality velveteen silicone. It has a lot of settings, and does the sort of rumbly vibrations you know feel good as opposed to the mechanical buzz of cheaper kinds.

Completely unused, Togame holds in his hands for a while, grabbing it by the ends. He doesn't touch it in a way that's weird. More like he assesses it. Measures it. You don't know for what though.

"It's cute."

"Huh?"

"The vibrator, I mean." Togame comments, putting it back in the box. His expression is unreadable. Something simmers under the surface of his neutral face but you can't place what exactly. "It's a cute color and the little pointed part here is cute."

You place a hand on your chest and close your eyes in sincerity. "Thank you. I also think I have excellent aesthetic taste."

Another pause. Brief but not.

"Do you want help using it?"

"Wha—"

"The vibrator," Togame clarifies before you get through the rest of your sentence. "Do you want me to help you use it?"

Your mind blanks. Your mouth moves faster than you can.

"...In what way?"

Togame remains steady. "Getting you comfortable and putting in you. As far as solutions go, it's the best I've got."

...Huh?

"Wouldn't that be awkward for you?"

"Is it awkward for you?" Togame replies back.

You stop to consider the question then shake your head.

"I mean...It's you. I trust you and I'm grateful but this..." You furrow your brow and look towards him. "Can you really do something like that with me? Just to help me?"

"Yeah." He replies. The words come so easily to him you're startled. Was he always this casual? You guess in a way but still. It's surprising. "It's the most direct route to solve your problem, I think. Once you've done it once with someone else, you'll definitely be able to do it alone right?"

You reason about this and find it's a somewhat optimal solution. You can't figure out the exact source of your unease about all of it, though it's there. You can't figure out Togame either. You appreciate how much he seems to want to help you but it doesn't make your worries go away.

You frown a little deeper.

"You're thinking about it too hard." Togame interjects. His tone is warm and easy.

"You're not thinking about it hard enough," You respond back. "What are you trying to do anyway? To help."

"Scratch the itch for you. Just think of it like that."

"Does that do anything for you?"

He dodges the question. "Don't worry about me. I'm offering. Promise it's fine."

You frown with your legs crossed, staring at the empty space of the bed. "...I g-guess it's fine? I can't think of a reason to say no."

"You don't mind doing this with me? Or is it because you're okay with anyone?"

You shake your head.

"What are you saying? Of course it's because you're the one asking. I trust you."

He smiles genuinely at that, eyes closed in what seems like relief. "I just wanted to make sure."

Togame opens his eyes again and casts them your way. Your breathing feels shallow under the weighted glance. He sits up a little more and shrugs his jacket off his shoulders, placing it on the pillow next to you. He feels broader without the layer of fabric over his torso, white shirt stretching over his frame as he sits on the bed on his knees.

"Lay down. Get comfortable."

You nod, adjusting the pillows and things and trying not to feel self-conscious or get cold feet. It speaks to your desperation that you're taking this help so willingly and from your long time best friend no less. In the back of your head, you do feel a little strange.

Togame is just being a good friend, that's what you tell yourself. You believe it too.

He hovers above you first. You tilt your head to look at him, the short gap of space between you feeling particularly small while also being miles wide. Your stomach flutters as Togame's eyes fix on your lips.

He leans forward and presses his mouth to yours. It's chaste. You wonder if you look even half as surprised as you feel.

"What was that for?"

"Breaking the ice."

You mumble. "Oh..."

Togame kisses you again that time, and then one more time before speaking up. "You're so naive."

"Huh? No I'm not,"

He brushes you off again that time before sitting up again. He sits between your legs where you have them spread. You have no idea what he's thinking or why he's doing this.

Unlike most people, you usually do have a good read on what Togame is feeling. He's upfront most of the time, despite his posturing seeming wishy-washy. It's a little weird to feel so out of bounds around him, like he purposely has his guard up. You wonder if that guard is for you, or for him. Is he uncomfortable somehow? Is he trying not to hurt your feelings by not being interested? You're not really expecting that.

But if that were the case, there's no reason he would help you this way.

Before you get too entranced in your thoughts, Togame snaps you out of them.

"How do you normally do this?"

You blink and look up.

"Do what?"

"Get off," Togame answers. Your eyes meet and you find yourself wanting to look away. "You said it was unsatisfying so I thought it'd be better if we started there,"

"Uhm," You feel embarrassed trying to talk about this. You're not sure why. It's not something you'd feel self-conscious outside this specific context but Togame just seems more... intense then usual. Like he's being serious about your silly problem. "D-depends? Sometimes I watch porn or listen to audios or read. Not always."

"Got it. How do you touch yourself then?"

He looks expectant. You turn your head to look away from him. The minutes tick by.

"Uhm... just rubbing my c-clit usually. I have uhm, other toys I'll use sometimes too but I need to touch my clit to get off." You wonder if these are too many details. Togame is listening to it so carefully. "Uhm. If i-its too sensitive I'll touch over my clothes too. Sometimes I cum like that."

His face shifts. It lingers long enough for you to notice but not enough for you to process what it was. He's back to his usual self so quickly you wonder if you've made the entire thing up.

"Right. I think I know what your problem is,"

You feel a little relieved at that. "Really?"

He pauses before smiling a little with a friendly nod that reminds you of how you were when you were kids, a face that's unexpectedly kind. "Really."

You look at him expectantly.

"I think you're not building up to it enough." Togame comments, smoothly. You blink at him. "You're a girl, you know? Can't jump straight into it, you need to stimulate yourself more first and relax. You're so focused on cumming it backfires. I'll help you."

"How...?"

"I'll help you relax and help you figure out what you like. Don't think about it too hard and focus on feeling good."

"You really don't have to do this for me," You mumble. He smiles at you.

"C'mon. You just said I was your best friend right? I don't mind, so chill out and let me help."

"Okay," You nod, bright eyed. "Okay....thank you."

He makes a face at you before nodding. "Uh-huh. Of course."

Togame hovers above you with lazy smile. You close your eyes on instinct as you feel your lips press together. His lips are softer than you thought they'd be. A hand cups the back of your neck and brings you closer to him. The weight of his body makes you self-conscious about his proximity. You can smell the scent of his skin, feel his presence surround you as he kisses you soft to start.

The shift in the air surrounding you is gradual in a way that reminds you so much of Togame. He's not intense at the beginning, never is really is - but then his hand goes to hold your knees and pull your legs up. His tongue slips against the closed seam of your lips until they part, until he touches yours and you have to reconfigure how you breathe. He's so good at kissing you it makes you wonder if he's kissed you before and you can't remember. But then it feels good and you're reminded—

If it felt this good there's no way you would've forgotten it.

When you pull away for air to breathe, or start to stumble through a question on how this is helping - Togame shuts you up. It takes it happening twice for you realize it's deliberate. Every time he kisses you a little deeper, and the last time he slips his tongue in so far you'd think he's trying to eat you whole.

You're wet. You're unsure if you're allowed to feel guilty about it, or if you're even meant too. Anyone would be turned on getting kissed like this. You're really unsure about all of this but you're fine because it's Togame. There's no way he'd do anything bad to you or for you.

He's over protective in general, though he's rarely frank about it.

(If you were any less clueless, you'd would know that most times Togame is doing his best to protect from himself. Most times, he feels like the biggest danger to you)

Togame pulls away from your lips when you moan a little. You feel embarrassed at the state your left in and how he looks at you. Picking you apart in his mind but not with ill intent. Like he wants to know every thread of your want.

Again, you think he's going to tease you. Light but still teasing.

"Does that feel good?"

It's a serious question. It stuns you. Just a little. His hand on the back of neck feels hot. You notice the way his thumb caresses your nape and try not to stutter.

"Uh..y-yeah." You reply, trying not to look stupid. "I like kissing. Uhm. In general."

He doesn't react to that, nods in a way you find curt in comparison to how passionately he was kissing you just moments ago. "It'll help you relax." And then, a little softly. "If you want to kiss again and we're not already, ask."

An odd request but you acquiesce with another soft noise.

"Do you feel a little warmed up?"

His eyes are so strangely shaded in this light. You open your mouth to the awkward confession. "Oh... nn. I'm... y-yeah. I'm wet already."

"From kissing?"

You give him a sheepish look. Togame responds with another kiss that makes you feel like you're being driven into a corner. This one is hot and heavy, doesn't build up but starts with an almost oppressive air. He nips at you, teeth tugging at your lips and licking in earnest to your mouth. Long and deep until your brain feels melty, your thoughts swimming and clouded. Longing for touch and release. Arousal threads through the fibers of your muscles, makes you feel wound up tight - a serpents coil. You clench your thighs on instinct at the worsening wetness.

Your mouth feels swollen and bitten when you pull away again and Togame looks a little more like you're used to him looking. An underlying sense of smug self-satisfactions on his face as he looks down at you, not outweighed by his genuine ease.

A look on his face like he likes your company. You find him comforting in how easy it is to see.

"Is it okay to touch you in other places?"

"Uhm. Anywhere above the belt is fine, I think."

"Makes sense,"

He leans up and slides both hands underneath your hoodie. You're not really prepared for... this. You don't know if you can call it sex or not but whatever it is, you weren't intending for it to happening.

"You're not wearing a shirt," His hands feel so big on your waist. Big and calloused, split skin scarred over from fighting. "A bra?"

"A sports bra."

"Right."

He slides your hoodie up over your torso until it's bare and takes your sports bra along with it in one go. Your tits fall from them with a soft swish with how quick he does it, the light bounce making your skin grown hot. Togame hovers above you as he eyes them, palms just underneath but not touching.

"Stop looking so hard."

He brushes past that. "They're nice."

"Shut up," You say for the first time. Togame smiles slightly.

"Not a nice way to talk to someone who's helping you," He says sarcastically. You pout but refuse to apologize. He remains unbothered then goes back to being alarmingly serious. "Do you play with them?"

"H-huh? When I masturbate? Not really. I've never thought too."

"Why's that?"

You shrug. "The guys I dated used to touch them but it mostly felt weird, not good. Never thought of trying on my own."

He gives you a looking asking for permission. You nod. This really does not feel normal but the arousal clouding your brain is a lot louder than your sense of shame.

Togame's hands slide up your sides until he's cupping the roundness of your chest. His thumbs hover against hardened nipples, constrained in the touch. It's different than how other guys have done it for you. He's paying attention to that bit most, and he's going about it softly. Pushing the hardened bud with a light flick that sends a jolt of shock through your body.

He's quick to notice your reaction, green eyes flickering up before doing it again. You squirm, stretching your legs and shifting as another tick of arousal goes through your whole body. Your clit is starting to throb so much it hurts. If it were you, you would've started touching yourself a long while ago. As soon as you felt yourself get wet.

Togame is taking his time, though. And you're feeling it so much it's a little shameful for you. He does it again, touching your nipples - both side at the same time. Your body is pushing for more.

You've managed to keep the noise down but you're pushed over your usual limits. A moan spills from your lips as you push up into his touch. "That's good, huh? Just needed it a little softer and more focused."

You try not to be any more embarrassing. Wouldn't anyone feel weird over this?

He's the most important person in your entire life, and he's seeing you like this. Not judging you, just remaining even and consistent. Teasing you but not enough to make you upset. He's being so careful. Is this the kind of boyfriend he is? You think that must make him popular, so then... why does it never work out? He's never dated anyone longer than a year.

But he's being so sweet to you despite not dating. He's always kind but this is different. You can't imagine who would see this part of him and break up.

You try not to think about any of this but the only other thing you can focus on is him rubbing your nipples and how nice it feels. The moan of his name is pitchy, sounds foreign to your own ears with how high and broken it is.

"Kame-chan," Your voice is warbly when you ask. You just want to stop thinking. "Kiss?"

He pauses. You think he's going to deny you at first.

"Fuck. That ain't fair, you know?"

You don't know what he means, but he complies and kisses you open mouthed as he plays with your tits. Rubs and flicks them just the way you like. It feels so good. You've never felt anything like it before. Your tummy flutters, honeyed lust dripping down your inner thighs.

Your body moves on it's own, your hands carding through his hair as arousal starts to pool. Your panties feels soaked and sticky, through the fabric. You shift again trying to relieve the feeling, brain scrambled by Togame's touch.

You're so horny you can't make sense of anything. Your body is a relentless echo of your wants and needs - demanding attention. His attention, specifically. Need curls up in your chest.

Between kisses you confess this to Togame, who you trust now more than ever despite feeling so incredibly vulnerable. How could you not go with it when he's taking such good care of you?

"Wanna cum so bad," You mutter, sloppy between kisses. Togame takes in a deep breath as he pulls away.

"You think you're worked up enough for it?"

You see through him instantly even in your haze. "Don't be mean to me, you jerk."

"Caught me, huh? Okay, okay. How do you normally do this?"

"Do what?"

"Fuck yourself with something,."

The words send heat sparking against your spine. You tuck your face against his jacket where it's laying besides you and huff. It smells like him. "Ngh. Usually finger myself a little first."

"Got a good idea then." He hums. The sound of his voice, low and smooth, makes you feel comforted. "I'll lay next to you and help keep you distracted while you open yourself up, yeah? Nothing below the belt 'n all. And when you're already I'll put in for you and turn it on."

You sniff. "Okay."

He smiles at you, pulling his hands and body away from you before laying besides you instead. He lets you rest your head against his arm and shoulders - sneaking the rest of his arm around and underneath you, squeezing one of your tits. He presses your body into him and gropes around the bed for the box with your toy, grabbing it from inside before shoving it away.

Up close, you can feel his muscles even better than you could. You wonder how someone so relaxed could be this built but try not to let it burden your brain. He smells so nice. Did he always? You feel too horny to remember, but you like it.

You can feel him glancing down at you, amused.

"Comfy?" Togame's voice vibrates through your whole body.

"Uh-huh."

"If you turn your head towards me I can kiss you and touch you. Keep your mind occupied a bit."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"It does right? Go ahead and start."

You think you should tell him not to watch. Keeps his eyes for himself. But the focus of his gaze makes you burn so much hotter you don't bother. He's already seen so much, anyway.

You shimmy out of your sweat pants until they're down at your ankles revealing your panties. Baby blue printed boyshorts, fabric soaked until they look a nearly new navy shade. You feel his laughter less than you hear it, turning your head to glare at him. He smiles a little at you.

"Those are cute too," Togame comments. You can hear his voice so clearly like this you think you'll collapse if you pay too much attention to it. "Too bad you made 'em all messy."

You swallow a sound, too horny to protest. He stops you before you can take your panties off.

"Didn't you say you normally touch over the fabric when you're sensitive? Do that."

"But—"

"Just trust me," He promises. He kisses your hair. Your heart thuds when he does it. It's an innocent gesture. "It'll make it more satisfying, okay?"

Your shaky as you spread yourself a little wider and slip your hand down between your legs. All the desire you're holding starts to unwind as your middle finger slides over the soaked seam of your cotton panties. They're cuter than normal, printed with florals and lace trimmed. Absolutely drenched in your arousal. You rub a small circle into your clit and your whole body breaks out into shivers, your eyes fluttering closed at the sensation.

You could cum like this. Just from this. But you want something more, something better so you force yourself to go slow.

"It's messy," Togame hums, nonchalant. "You get easier than I thought you would. Are you going slow so you don't cum right away?"

"Don't point it out, aah,"

"You should cum if you want too," Togame suggests.

"No," You whine. "Wanna cum with the toy."

"Wanna cum with a cock inside you, ya mean? A silicone one but still. Not enough to just touch yourself, you need something more, is that it?"

He says the words so casually, so lightly. Almost friedly despite how filthy they are. There's no malice in them.

Spoken like high praise or affection. The kind you'd show a kitten,.

"Kame—"

"Didn't know your had such a need pussy. No wonder it's hard to cum all by yourself, huh?"

"Stop being mean," You gasp. "I'll cum,"

He laughs at that. It's genuine and bright.

"Too much for ya, huh? S'okay. Take these off now. Finger yourself. Make sure you get all that mess you made so we can use on your toy. It'll hurt if it's dry going in."

You feel blindsided by just how much Togame is talking. He's been so quiet, so brief and unreadable. He feels like his usual self too much, to your complete detriment. His voice is teasing, yet warm and sweet. He smells good and he's pressing you all against his chest. Your fingers tremble as you slide your panties down to your ankles same as before. You end up shimmying the rest of your clothes off.

You're so aroused it's easy to get the first finger in. Your hole twitches, the entrance pleasurable as slowly ease your middle finger down to knuckle. You til your head towards Togame as you get adjusted to the intrusion easily from how wet you are, pouting your lips. He gives into the kiss right away, warm tongue and soft lips familiar to you now. You ease yourself into the pace of his kiss, whimpering into his mouth as you slowly open yourself on second finger.

"I want it so bad," You mumble. He laughs against your mouth.

"I can tell. Can barely string a sentence together. You want to cum huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"What a naughty pussy. You're trembling from just fingering yourself. Won't you cum right away if I put in you at once? I'll have to go slowly," Togame explains. He speaks the filth so naturally. "Take my time so you're stretched nicely and not scared anymore. I'll turn the vibrator on after it's already inside so you can't run away from it. You can cum to your hearts content, then."

"I'm still scared," You admit. You're just so horny you're unsure of what else to do. He leans down to kiss you again, nose brushing against yours intimately.

"Don't be scared. Just focus on stretching so you're not so tight. I'll praise you if you take it in easily."

Your voice gives once you manage to get a third in. Togame doesn't stop kissing you, barely giving you enough air to breathe. He plays with your chest with his free hand, and holds the toy with the other.

A string of spit connects you. Your thighs are aching, body burning hot as you look at him directly.

"Wanna cum," You slur your words, speaking in short sentences. Togame grins a little.

"Take your fingers out and show them to me."

Your stomach flips but you comply with the request. Your face burns from how soaked they are.

"Good. Rub them on the toy now. Get it as sticky as you can."

Your heart is pounding is loud in your ears as you clumsily coat your new toy with your own mess. You watch it gain a fresh shine, baby blue turning reflective as you push it against and between your fingers until all of it's coated as best you can.

"That's it, good. Spread your legs now. Gonna put it in. Want me to kiss you?"

You nod sheepishly and close your eyes. Togame laughs warmly before kissing you again.

Your whole body throbs in anticipation for it. A muscular forearm and hand slip between your legs as you spread yourself open, your feet flat on the bed for easier access. Togame forces his tongue into your open mouth, kissing you wet and hard as he tweaks your nipples. You feel pleasantly suffocated from the pressure before gasping into his mouth.

The swollen silicone head of your toy stretches your pussy more than you thought it would. You've never had a toy with angles so the sensations are all new. You can feel it so well inside of you, you can barely keep your composure long enough to stop moaning as just the tip slides in. Togame swallows each noise from your mouth. His kisses feel almost ferocious now when they were so composed before, free hand cupping your jaw from one side.

He fucks it in slowly, rocking the toy by its handle slowly until you get used to it - giving you moments between to adjust. You can feel it bottom out inside of you, the head pressing so precise on your swollen gspot you could cum from bucking your hips. Your sensitivity is over the top. Every touch and and tease and bump makes your cunt clench and throb.

The blunt end of the rubber attachment presses against your needy little clit. Togame moves the toy a little, fucking you with it slightly again. Barely. It still nearly makes you cum.

You feel like he's edging you. Anymore than this, you think you'll go crazy.

"Kame-chan." Your voice is beyond wrecked, throat as one of your hands reaches to cling desperately to his short sleeves. You fist it, teary. "Jo, turn it on please. Make me cum. Wanna cum so bad, 'm so close, please, please. C'mon."

"Turning it on, baby. Easy."

The word baby makes your body melt.

A slight click sounds as Togame turns on the vibrator.

Your whole body lurches at the sudden change. Togame pins you with his own, keeps his hands steady and the toy inside of you without skipping a beat. The soft whirr of the first setting completely unravels you. It feels like every nerve in your body is being pulled apart, electricity through a frayed copper wire. The muscles in your body aching with anticipation after so many dissatisfying orgasms clench tight as your body prepares itself for something so vast your mind can't process it at all. Your hands fist at your sides, clutching the sheets as you get close to cumming.

You're thrashing from the sensation. It's so much, too much - you've never felt anything like it before. You feel full and euphoric and your head is spinning. It feels so good it terrifies you, makes you clench up hard in how unbearably unrelenting it is. There's no pace, no where to escape from. The vibrations are strong but not overwhelming to the point you can't feel them.

You're so senstive all over your body and it's touching you in two places.

Your spine starts to curl into an arch, hips stuttering and twisting as you feel it rushing over your consciousness. Fuck, you've wanted this for so long. It's exactly the high you've been chasing after on your own for so many months it's making your brain feel like like mush. Animal instinct forces your hips up, bucking against Togame's hand where he holds the toy. You're fucking yourself on it. You can hear him laugh as he moves to meet you ruts.

You feel like you're losing your fucking mind.

"G-gonna—fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I can't, I can't, I can't. Feels so good, Ican't."

He leans in and gets close to your ear, tongue caressing the lobe before biting it soft.

"Yes you can. You want it so bad don't you? Wanna cum all over this cock so bad you've been aching for it. I know you want it, I can see it. Look how much your moving your hips." His voice is shaking, hands flicking your nipples messy and harsh as he speaks. "Look what a mess you're making. You're leaking everywhere. You want it badly right? Don't think about it and cum. Cum as much as you want. Cum for me,"

The last words are the ones to snap the thread inside of you.

Your brain bluescreens as your body seizes before finally, finally giving you the orgasm you've been chasing. You smash your lips against Togame's as your spine arches off the bed, thrashing in place. Something in you undoes - and you feel a wet rush spray from between your legs at the same time your orgasm hits. Your mind feels completely and utterly blanked. Your body is in total rapture, uncontrollable pleasure fucking your brain until you're stupid and slack jawed. It feels so good, so so good. You didn't know anything could ever feel that good in your life. It's scary.

You feel like you could get addicted. Your high rides out for much longer than ever before. In between sloppy kisses, you say the same words over and over and over. Togame grips you close to him as you do.

"Jo," You mutter. "Thank you, thank you, thank you—feels so fffucking good, fuck. I can't, I can't. Off, off. 's too much, I'll pee."

Instead of turning it off, he turns the vibration up by one. Your eyes fly open as you gasp, words rushed. Panicked.

"I can't," You swear, looking at him for mercy. His face is flushed. "I can't, Jo-chan, I'll cum again, I'll—"

"Cum." He says, demands - voice rougher than you've heard it all night. "I know you can. Cum,"

On demand practically, your legs seize up and you cum again a second time in near succession. You feel so fucking incredible you think you're going to die.

"Fuck!"

You squirt again, body nearly giving out as more short spurts soak your sheets and mattress. Your pussy is pulsing in the after math, trembling and clenching so violently. You whine loudly as Togame stops the vibration and pulls the toy out, shivering as it catches on your tight hole before coming out of it with a soft pop.

Your legs are twitching.

Even though Togame has no more reason to kiss you he does. And even though you're well past the point of needing to kiss him back, you do more affectionately than any time prior.

"You made me feel so good it's freaking me out." You admit, shaking uncontrollably.

Togame pauses before breaking out into genuine laughter. He kisses your head, arm wrapping around your shoulders until you're hugged against him.

"You were so sexy like that."

You blink at him, face flushed.

"Sexy?"

"I was really hard seeing you cum," He says, casually looking down. "I didn't know you could be cute and ask for kisses. You're usually more—"

You put a hand over his mouth.

"Whatever you're gonna say shut up,"

He just smiles, cheek against your hair. "I'm glad you got to feel good."

"What about you?" You mumble, feeling your heart pick up just asking. "Are you still hard? I feel like I should pay you back somehow,"

He looks at you seriously. "Do you know what you're implying?"

You fold a little but nod anyway. "Yeah."

"Do you really? The monk thing is a joke, you know. If you offer something like that, I won't be able to stop."

"It's fine," You say confidently before adding, much quieter. "I r-really want to do... it with you."

Togame pauses before kissing you deeply. Your whole body feels molded to him now.

"Damn it." He looks down at you, black hair sticking to his skin. You wanna feel his undercut with your hands in his hair. "You know this ain't normal between friends, right?"

"Uhm, yeah? I figured."

"Don't go around getting help from anyone."

You shake your head. "It's only 'cause it's you."

He scrubs a hand over his face and laughs. "You don't need to stir me up anymore. I'm already hard enough. Can't keep my composure at all."

You tilt your head in confusion. Togame just sighs.

"Don't worry about it." He says, shaking his head. "How soon can I get my thanks?"

Your eyes widen as you clench again. "Uhm. Now, if you want it."

He grins a little lazy, eyes swimming with adoration.

"I do," He hums, laying back as you get up from where you've been laying. "Come over here and let me touch you properly then."

"Is that what you really want?"

You climb ontop of him, bare naked almost as your hoodie falls back down over your torse. Togame slides the fabric up and gives you a meaningful look.

"More than anything,"

[sillygoofyqueer]

Bing-ge getting super sparkly/shiny jewelry with magical abilities and the wives are like “Ooh, could this be for me?” only, nah. It’s actually to lure in his future husband. Go away. XD

Ahhh! Shen Yuan making a safe haven for crows is a wonderful idea! Demonic crows or yao, whether they’ve cultivated human form or not, are all welcome! Regular crows too!

Since I love teacher Shen Yuan, of course he teaches all the younger ones too. Just because they spend half their time as birds doesn’t mean they can’t get an education!

The human half of his family are probably from some tiny village who gave offerings to the local crow demons and unintentionally became friends (crows being protective of their people and all). Their village is startlingly safe thanks to crows mobbing anyone who dares try to mess with them! There might be other half-crow kiddos running around too, thanks to the good relations. Shen Yuan tutors the village kids too of course!

(Tiny bit of angst, but Bing-ge burns with envy if he finds out! This half-demon friendly town was here the whole time?!)

This is adorable, Shen Yuan seeing these young children and just being like "...students." Sometimes, if the human children are extra lucky, he'll take them on flights as long as they have 'necessary payment' (usually a cool looking rock and proof that they've done their chores). It's impossible to find Shen Yuan without at least one crow perched on his shoulder or in his hair, unless he's going on - what the others describe as - dangerous escapades to nab cool stuff from Bing-ge's palace, in which he will know and stop anyone who tries to follow him because he's a dumbass with no self-preservation skills, not them! It takes him a startlingly long time to figure out that Bing-ge is leaving things for him on purpose, and he is undeniably shocked when he finds out. He eventually finally takes it as a form of courtship due to other demons' and humans' instance that it probably is. After doing research on crows courting one another, did you know that the males feed the females?? And sing to them?? SO, I immediately thought of the idea of Shen Yuan trying to reciprocate the courting (because he would never be so silly as to reject the emperor, no one in their right mind would) by randomly appearing in Bing-ge's room (much to Bing-ge's delight and confusion) and singing sweetly before feeding a willing emperor apple slices or some shit until Bing-ge reciprocates and feeds him in response and Shen Yuan just pauses and goes "hang on, am I the wife?" and immediately takes to the role without any thought. ("Why would Bing-ge be the wife, how foolish of me!") When Bing-ge finds out about the village that accepts half demons, of course he's a little upset! Why couldn't he have this sort of comfort and love in his life? Why did he have to suffer all this time?? Then he goes to this village so that Shen Yuan can show off his nest to the emperor (sign of trust?) and is immediately hit with the "I want to be here forever" train.

Also, the more you think about it, the funnier it gets actually lmao. He just shows up with these gorgeous trinkets and jewellery and sometimes even clothes (shiny embroidery of course), and they vanish and the wives are all like "where the actual hell are they going? Who do we even complain about??" and it could be like a background thing where the wives all get jealous of each other when there's actually just this bird guy who comes over quite often and started by stealing shit while dropping off helpful things. Imagine how strange that must be for the wives. "Ugh, [wife's name here] is taking all the attention away from us!!", "Really? I thought it was [other wife's name]." Meanwhile, there's just one wife (Liu Mingyuan most likely) who just knows and she doesn't tell anyone, content to watch as chaos ensues while the bird man and Luo Bing-ge fall deeper in love with one another, and the gifts get more elaborate each time. {part three! Part one, part two, part four, part five, part six, part seven!!}

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Mr. Blizzard

Debut: Super Mario 64

Who ordered the Funny Snowman? Not you, because this is a blog and not a restaurant, silly! You are just so silly. But between you and me, I am a fan of Funny Snowman, so I will humor you!

Mr. Blizzard is one of the first snowmen to appear in the Mario series, and the one who would become the most iconic and recurring. This is something he should be proud of, since Super Mario 64 has a bunch of snowmen in it! But one of them based his whole identity around missing his head, and the other one is an entire location. Gimmicks that make them memorable, sure, but not very versatile for future use!

Mr. Blizzard's design really notably uses billboarding, the graphical trick where a sprite will always face the camera, giving flat circles the appearance of spheres in a slightly blurry 3D world. Snowmen are SO orbs! Some of the most orbs guys I can think of! It was a very good decision. Mr. Blizzard is honestly slightly unconventional compared to other cartoon snowmen, with no nose- nay, nary a carrot- and a simple line mouth, rather than the typical "series of dots" mouth that we know and love. Instead, it has a blank, autism creature face, with its eyes and mouth seemingly made of the same material! Mouth made of eye, or eyes made of mouth? You won't know until you kiss him on the lips!

Nowadays, Mr. Blizzard uses a new design, which I also like a lot! This time he has a scraggly mouth because he is, as I assume he would say, "not too sure about this one, guys". He now has snow buttons on his torso, revealing that he was previously NAKED down there, and he also wears a bucket as a hat! That's one of those things that's so common in Japanese media, but in Western media it's always a top hat. So funny how one cartoon snowman had such influence on media! The average snowman-builder is much more likely to own a plastic bucket than a top hat!

Mr. Blizzard's main Thing is his single arm, adorned with a cute little mitten, which he uses to throw snowballs. Do you think that's like throwing his own flesh? I don't think so. If clothing buttons and igloos can also be made of snow, I think snow is just the building block of a snowman's world. But still, imagine some cattle throwing delicious meatballs at each other. Messed up! How would they even do that with hooves? Would they use their tongues like slingshots? What was I talking about? Where am I?

Oh yes! I am in "Snow World". Mr. Blizzard is a recurring enemy snowman, but Mario's world is also full of morally neutral living snowman, who DO have carrot noses, thank goodness. These snomonculuses are obstacles on snowy Mario Kart courses, but it's kind of rude to refer to them as that. Is a pedestrian an obstacle to a driver? Suffer, vehicles, as I wield my high level spell called "right of way"!

In Mario Kart Tour, these entities are exclusively referred to as Snowpeople! Gender? They hardly snow 'er!

[yuri-is-online]

I am. Very tired.

And on so much cold medicine. So if this is too silly, please ignoere.

The Aceyuu breadrumbs comes in the same vein as the VilKiss ramble I gave a while back. But!

Back in Book 3, when Yuu became homeless after putting their home up as collateral against Azul, Ace has probably never actually wished for other people to fail in school, or for the blow out of Riddle's "Tyrant Era" to have horrible consequences, but for a moment he really wishes that some of the people who were at the end of their ropes with Riddle had actually transfered out of the dorm or even the school, just so Heartslaybul would have a bed for Yuu to stay in during this time. How could Crowly ask you to handle Azul for him and not help you out on this?!

It's early enough in your...whatever it is you two have going on that he's more relieved for you than jealous when Jack offeres a place at Savannahclaw for Yuu, thank Seven that you have someone else who can have you're back while he's forced to bus tables at the Lounge. He's so busy being put through the wringer, he doesn't really have time to check up on Yuu, only really getting updates with Grim about what a hardass Leona seems to be. Of course what little bits he get's from Grim worries him. Yeah, Yuu's tenacious and strong, and has already gone up against two overblots and whatever that monster in the mines was, in spite of not having a lick of magic to their name, their also charming and funny and clever, part of him's sure Yuu has the guys at Savannahclaw wrapped around their fingers and why is Deuce and some of the other guys looking at him like that? It's not like he was muttering this out loud, was it?

Anywhoosies, the photo heist in the ocean works, the contracts binding Ace (and everyone else, he guesses) are ash and Azul's gonna be sent to the councillor for his Overblot all while still offering amazing deals on his one-on-one consultations! Everything's coming up Ace Trappola, it seems. That is, until things have slowed down enough for him that he's catching the tail end of some rumours, that is.

What do you mean Leona MADE Yuu sleep in his room? Jack said Savannahclaw had spare beds! And whats all this about how Yuu kept the dorm up all night with the noises coming out of Leona's room on your last night?! Come to think of it, how DID you get Leona to go along with this plan?

Ace begins to spiral and at this point in time, after just short of 3 months of knowing Yuu does honest to Seven real Jealousy begin to rear its head on him, before this he thought Yuu was attractive, and fun to be around, and someone whose had his back in a few tough spots. But this is the first time that the idea of some guy catching Yuu's eye in any serious way makes his the blood roar in his ears and his hands shake. Forget fighting Riddle for Housewarden position, he's fighting Leona for...because um...well...He'll have a valid reason once he's done fighting that mangy lion, that's for sure! It's while he's stewing in his own anger, trying to actually make sense of this churning in his gut does things get cleared up as Yuu complains about what's worse to sleep on; Thier bed at Ramshackle or Leona's couch right next to the open windows (I know the dorms are climate controlled, but I still imagine it's uncomfortable to sleep so exposed like that), Ace prompts them more about their stay and Yuu goes on and on about their ordeal, it's only when they see the relieved smile on Ace's face do they get mad. Was he enjoying their suffering while they were trying to save him?!

He laughs and apologises, offering to buy Yuu a drink at the lounge, both as thanks to his "hero" and as an apology for feeling so happy about how their stay at Savannahclaw actually went, joking about how he just found how they got Leona to agree to the plan hilarious, is all. It's not like he was jealous, or anything, right?

Or something, I really should sleep but I keep coughing myself awake U_U Just thought this was a fun silly idea

Apartment complex? Ace finds it quite simple, unless Yuu is in the apartment with someone who is not him 💀

Unaware of himself Ace who is still sort of in denial about his feelings who is glad Yuu gets to have some privacy in Savanaclaw. Surely even Azul and the eels know better than to mess with Leona, he's a prince! Still he's so muttering to himself about how things are probably going for Yuu, don't look at him like that Deuce he's just worried and he should be too! Yuu could be homeless soon!

Yuu explains that they annoyed Leona into cooperating with their plan to the twins in Book 3, so he knows that much but the bit about staying in Leona's room is... new information. Deuce looks at him sideways, because he assumed as much when he heard Yuu explain things and Jack doesn't see what the big deal is really. It makes him painfully aware of how "out of place" this jealousy of his actually is.

You are you, a friend, despite his best efforts and one he has no real right to be so jealous over when one of the reasons you were in such a tough spot was because of him. The thought you might like Leona hurts, but he doesn't quite put a finger on it until you're complaining about sleeping on Leona's couch. It's easy to mistake his relief for amusement, jealousy over you would be the last thing on your mind given how much of a brat he was through the whole fiasco. But there's something about the way he calls you his hero, the way he tugs on the sleeve of your blazer towards the lounge since you didn't get much of anything the last few times you were there.

Something about the look on his face that really doesn't look like anything other than content when he watches you. He only realizes how in deep he is later that night when he realizes he couldn't even bring himself to joke about being jealous. He'd have tripped over his own words into the truth.

[shallowseeker]

I love that it's shown, at least a couple of times I think, that Dean tends to switch on loud music and crank UP the volume precisely when he doesn't want to discuss something.

But in 12x10? Sam is so uncomfortable, he wants music. Any fuckin' music. And Dean...

SAM: All right, who wants music? DEAN: I'm good.

Holy, shit balls. LOL. Dean doesn't even turn the music on. Dean wants them all to suffer through the silence.

And it gets so much better. Dean acts like CAS started the silent treatment post-12x09. (And who knows? Maybe Cas did! I find either idea pretty funny.)

MORE SILENCE. SAM LOOKS AROUND AND SHAKES HIS HEAD. SAM: All right. Guys, you know what? This – this silent treatment thing, it's silly. It's not gonna work. Whatever we're walking into, we should, you know, probably have an actual plan. CAS: (sighs) What do you wanna know? DEAN: Oh, he speaks.

Then it gets funnier.

I forgot that it was DEAN who fired off the covert communication. He was the one who first started complimenting Benjamin! (Aside/// 14x08 Our Father Who Aren't in Heaven has another great example of Dean-Cas talking about things under the guise of other mission-ish things.)

CAS: It was, um... Look, Benjamin wouldn't call for help lightly. And he wouldn't put himself in harm's way if he could help it. DEAN: Wow, this Benjamin seems like he's pretty cool, you know. Like he wouldn't make any half-cocked, knee-jerk choices.

First, pot-kettle! Second of all, LMAO. Benjamin is cool BECAUSE he doesn't put himself in danger! This will be what Dean struggles with till the end of time, only accepting Cas's relationship to him as "protector"near the bitter end. In season 15, Dean's trying to be okay with Cas providing strength in his "Cas way." There's the Mark in 15x09 of course, but there's also the awful 15x18, "She's gonna kill you... and then she's gonna kill me."

But back to Benjamin and their coded comms:

CAS: Yeah, you know what I like about him? Is that he's sarcastic, but he's thoughtful and appreciative, too. DEAN: Now what is that supposed to mean?

Cas is hilarious here, too. Appreciate what I do for you, when I protect you, Dean! It's how I show love.

He's telling Dean how he wants DEAN to behave, even amidst the looming cosmic consequences. He doesn't want Dean to not-be Dean, to not throw a fit, he just wants a little "thank you," and maybe some thoughtful "kindnesses," as a little treat. Meanwhile, Dean's like HELL NO I am not gonna give you applause for being a hero for me. You can FORGET IT.

I mean, yes, it's the jealousy thing too on the surface, but it's a LOT MORE than that, too. It's their covert communication in beautiful form. It's Dean screeching, "You want me to be what about your sacrifice?"

(Happy, acquiescent, thankful.)

We'll see later from the script of 12x19 that Cas wants Dean to be thankful and relieved in general. And he thinks that him shouldering Dean's burdens will make Dean happy.

via @spnscripthunt-inactive 12x19

The tragedy is that Dean isn't relieved whenever Cas chooses to carry those heavy burdens. Whether it's the burdens of Heaven or Dean's...

When Cas is gone, Dean's in pieces.

via @spnscripthunt-inactive 12x23

[hulloitsdani]

I am serving my headcannons on a silver platter. Here’s your meal my good sir. Tonight we are serving the emotional repercussions of neglectful parenting and child soldiers with a side of sleep deprived college grad.

Nah but seriously thank you!! I’m glad you enjoyed!!!

Now I wonder what Kiran’s degree is for 🤔

LMFAOOOO

It's very unclear! But Alfonse's "It's been at least 10 years since Sharena was a child" line is a rough estimate itself. I feel like it could place Sharena anywhere to 18 to 20 when she joined the Order of Heroes (this is just my headcanon though, based on what's typical irl -- there's also a possibility that in Askr, the age you're considered "an adult" is different, but that's also speculation)

But if Sharena was anywhere from 18 to 20 when she joined the Heroes, and granting that a few years have passed to get to Book 4. Maybe 22? 24? At oldest? If every book is a year. Which in that case!

Yeah she could be at this point actually 🤔 Or maybe 26.

And really you can throw any random number at Alfonse like. I kinda hc he's 3 years older than her, if not 4. They do seem close in age, but far enough that Alfonse has always felt more "grown up" to her (possibly by the way he was treated/raised, many possibilities). But going off those numbers, he could be 29 or 30ish current Book, if we're going w Sharena being 26 (makes me wonder if his Brave alt is gonna make him look "more mature"... like his portrait always read as young adult to me, but I wonder if he'll be a little less baby faced.)

[madeby-meru]

Thoughts on Episode 10 (Jason Route)

Now that I am chill after losing both the illustration and the route and having to watch it somewhere else, I can give my thoughts on this episode! ^^

I wanted to upload this sooner but had no time to finish it lol

beware of spoilers under the cut!

Overall, my main feeling while playing and after finishing was that i was tremendously bored for 90% of the episode. And honestly this makes me sad! I really like filler episodes, i love silly little moments that don't add much to the story itself but that let you see the characters in different situations and learn other tidbits of information about them. For example, I liked going with Brune and Elanda to look for Thomas, seeing them in a situation where they're worried about a friend that could be in serious trouble and how they reacted differently to everything. It adds depth and personality (which these characters desperately need). I have seen Roy's route in this episode too and i liked how it added a bit to his characterization of this very sweet and caring man. I have to say that i also loved seeing Thomas' mom again and im soooo happy that she got a redesign! (even though I wish she looked like an actual 60 year old woman, girlie looks addicted to botox). I would have loved to see Iris too but we got a couple more characters from the MCL games so I'm happy with that. I like seeing that we are, indeed, in the same universe lol.

However, in my opinion anything good or interesting in the episode was completely overshadowed by the sheer *absurdity* of it all.

It's the same issue as always, the "plot" doesn't make sense and unintentionally the characters end up being depicted terribly and (usually) Devon and Thomas suffer the most.

Devon looks like an irresponsible boss that doesn't keep his empoyees in check and lets them do whatever they want even if it harms the job or other emoplyees's work. He postpones the meeting with the town hall (would he even be allowed to do that? i'm sure this would have negative impact on Devenementiel) to look for Thomas, which honestly that's a good friend move so respect for that... but that is a full grown adult, not a child, and you dont even know if something actually happened to him. I'm sorry but here the job should take priority, it makes no sense for everyone to halt their work day and waste time (with a relevant project !! with the town hall !! in their hands !!) cause someone didnt come in.

Sending everyone to just look around the city is... so stupid? how big is Amoris? 1km square? for them to think that they can wander around and magically find him? ????

Now the ending was just... what the actual fuck.

I don't think the writing team is truly aware of how badly Thomas is portrayed. First of all, if you have a motorbike accident that is serious enough to leave the morotbike destroyed like they describe it: you do not walk away like nothing happened! Talking from experience, even a relatively small accident can leave you badly injured. And from what is being described in the episode Thomas should have been hospitalized! It makes no sense. Second of all, who in their right damn mind leaves a demaged vehicle in the middle of the street and walks away to buy a replacement? That is a fine, that is a public safely issue, a general safety hazard and a traffic obstruction, who does that ?! "He is socially unaware!" no, that is being straight up stupid and a jerk.

Y'all are portraying Thomas as an egocentric, careless, and self centered guy that does not care for anything or anyone around him other than himself, an irresponsible person that does not care if his actions are detrimental to his job or colleagues. And if we put this together with episode 8 showing him as someone with zero respect for boundaries or privacy and that will stalk coworkers with no remorse, yeah you're making a wonderful love interest.

And this pisses me off, this feels out of character. Thomas is such a fun and interesting and cute love interest, he could have one of the best romance stories in the game, why would you paint him like this? I'm sure that the intention was a "haha silly guy doesn't understand!" moment but y'all definitely don't know how to write that.

And I don't think this is "reading too much into it", cause you can see it all in plain sight. And also, analyzing shit and "reading too much into something" is fun for me.

This episode could have been so fun. It could have been a silly misunderstanding with some days off that Thomas takes to go to a competition (maybe we initially could think that he had an accident because a similar bike had one that morning! or because he had been complaining about motor issues and being wary of a potential accident!). In his route we could go see him and he could tell us about his hobby, and in other routes we could do something related to the other character's interests. We could get to know more about them, its an appropiate episode topic for the place that we are in in the relationships and its just cute and fun.

But anyway, I unfortunately could not play Jason's route myself and I had to watch it somewhere else instead, which honestly pissed me the fuck off cause i can't afford a replay at all. The special scene was cute, I liked the tone and how Jason sounded like he was trying to play it cool with all the "heh i just did it to show im better" (i can see right through you silly man). Ngl im sad i dont have the scene to replay it u-u

Thomas' illustration was my favorite by far, both him and Ysaline look gorgeous fr fr

[gremlinmodetweeker]

okay okay, it's a lil silly but hear me out konig + phantom of the opera au

man's got it all; need to cover his face, obsessive tendencies, and the need to be a secretive lil (big) weirdo *chef's kiss*

NO NO NO HOLD ON YOU'RE COOKIN. NOT SILLY AT ALL.

Now look here, I dunno if you know this, but I am a sucker for classic literature. One of my top three favourite books of all time is Frankenstein by Mary Shelly. That woman ate when she wrote that book and I will listen to nothing else. I also really want to write an essay about how Frankenstein is Mary Shelly discussing the inherent horror of motherhood in those times and how the lack of a mother figure shapes an individual. I think it's an extremely layered book, but I like to see the parenthood lens of the book.

Now now now, this is about Phantom of the Opera. I do know a bit about the original phantom, and I don't like to think König or reader dies in the end (just personally, I can't write a tragic ending. I really need a happy ending, not for the reader, but because I need a happy ending). So, let me introduce the idea that this is a version where the phantom wins.

This is one where the phantom was fucking right and actually, freak of nature as he is, maybe he had a point!!! Maybe, reader shouldn't be dating someone twice their age. Maybe, though König is a bit older for sure, he's actually not that old and a more appropriate age. Albeit, though now recovered, König still suffered a case of leprosy after being exposed during a war. He considers himself hideous, but maybe reader would be able to look past his sickness?

Now, is König appropriate as a lover? Probably not. He's obsessive, jealous, and a borderline stalker. He's determined to kill off the man who's trying to seduce her ('How dare you try and take my little songbird away from me!!!') and will do anything to keep reader to himself. However, he's also saving reader from a far worse fate with someone worse than him.

Reader is enchanted by Makarov of course, but König knows better and is determined to show her the light. He desperately wants to just talk to her and explain everything to her, but at this point he's committed to what he's doing and social anxiety makes him unable to just knock on her door and talk to her like a regular person.

Once again, like every incredible story in the English language, if you guys just talked everything would be fine but nobody knows how to be an adult.

Anyways, König loves reader dearly. Watching her perform makes his heart ache. His one saving grace is a beautiful voice he uses to enchant her. If his face is nothing but sickness, let him sing to his little songbird and help her connection to music. He'll do what he can to cling to any connections he has to her. He's desperate to hold her, and he'll do whatever he needs to to get to her.

IMPORTANT EDIT:

König with the phantom mask but he has two long red ribbons coming out the bottom of the eyes and the rest of his face is hidden under a dark hood. Consider it.

[dollydaisies]

Can I pls request a BTS reaction? They have a crush on their friend who is not a celebrity, so they can't confess to her because of their reputation/job, but they are really close. One day someone from their company revealed a sensitive information about them. So, the members and the company accused her of it because they thought that she was only with them to become famous. They didn't believe her and also told her many hurtful things. But later it was revealed that it was not her but someone else and she was telling the truth. Later they try to reconcile with her and asks her to forgive them but it was too late. Can you please write it as angst?

If it's too specific for you, you don't have to write it. Thank you anyways ☺️☺️

my first ask! thank you so much for sending this! my bts skills may be a tad bit rusty, so i'm sorry if this isn't up to par with your expectations. im doing allll the research i can! some things may be changed up a bit, but i'm trying to stick to your prompt the best that i can!

summary: forbidden love hurts, and it sometimes builds up frustration inside you, which then turns into flipping out on the person you love nonsensically solely because you're overwhelmed. they had to learn to think before they act, and, now, they're suffering from the consequences of their actions.

characters: just to test the waters and see if you like what i'm doing, i am only doing kim namjoon. if you like this, i will continue with the other members i’m comfortable writing! please tell me if i did well or was a lil' off. i'll always take constructive criticism:)

kim namjoon never meant to hurt anyone, but he especially made sure that he would not hurt you. he cares about you so much, to the point where seeing you even slightly sad could mess up his whole day.

you're bts's songwriter and producer, but also their friend. when they make plans, they want to include you, always. even if they go to the beach for a run bts episode, they want YOU to be there after the cameras are off. of course, every single member of the group wants you to be around, but namjoon insists on it. you're his safe place, the person he confides in when times get hard--why wouldn't he want you there?

"are you sure you don't want to come with us on this tour?" namjoon looks at you with full passion in his eyes. he wants you to come with them, even if he won't directly say it. "you know that we will always want you to come with, right?"

that little "we" always gets you every time. sure, you know that it's true, and so does he, but that's not what you want to hear and that's not what he wants to say. you want to hear him say "i want you to come with," but it feels like he refuses to say it. he's only not saying it because it'll make his feelings too real, and he can't deal with the reality that you can never be his.

"ah, i know, joonie... but i need to work on the ideas you all gave me for this next album. it's the final one before you all go on hiatus, so i can't take a break," you respond, playing with your bowl of ramen without eating it. you're the only two in the kitchen, and it's quiet. "i'd love to go, but i just can't afford to right now. you know i'm short on money."

namjoon sighs, but nods. "i understand. it's just gonna be hard to be on tour without you."

you send him a sweet smile, then giggle softly. "you're such a baby, did you know that?"

"it's our little secret, keep it hush."

that wasn't the secret that destroyed everything you've built with him over the past decade, but it was more of a foreshadow. you felt excited at the idea of having a secret with him, but also dread--this is silly, though. you guys have thousands of secrets. you're best friends, and you always have been, so why is your gut telling you to fight or fly?

around a week later, dispatch reports on news that namjoon has never told a soul about--except for you. the moment his brain processes the information told to him by the higher-ups, he immediately gets up from his seat and marches to your usual spot that you linger in.

"get out."

"huh?"

your face is full of pure confusion, a bit like a deer in headlights. sure, you've had your arguments and fights before, but he has never been this harsh off the bat--hell, he was rarely ever truly harsh.

the way his eyes look at you with pure disgust, and the sarcastic laugh he lets out... it feels like you don't know who's standing in front of you. yeah, it's namjoon, but... it's also not.

"i knew you were desperate for money, y/n, but i didn't think you'd be this desperate. if i knew you were like this, i would've fired you sooner."

"namjoon, what the hell are you talking about?" you stand up from your seat, yelling at him a bit. it's obvious you aren't even mad, you're just a mix of confused, scared, and worried.

"you know what i'm talking about, y/n. hell, the rest of the world does as well, since you decided to go to dispatch about it."

he holds up his phone so you can look at the site he pulled up. you scrolled and scrolled in pure shock, confusion, and disgust. "i... namjoon, i did not rat you out to anyone. why would i?"

"people like you only care about money. figure it out, and get out of this dorm."

absolutely stunned, you walk to the door in complete silence, then turn around. he looks a bit lost in thought, then he finally sees you. you, whose eyes are full of tears; you, whose cheeks are red due to how panicked you got from him yelling; and you, who refused to yell at him back even when he disrespected you.

while he was so sure he was right, a pit in his stomach grew larger. he feels like he’s doing something bad, something wrong, and he doesn’t know why.

"i just want to say," you pause for a second, then continued. "if this is the real you, kim namjoon, maybe i should've been the one to expose you after all."

you slam the door.

months have passed, and you work at a local music store. sure, you write songs still, but they're not for anyone else except you. you refused to talk to all of them, talk about all of them, or even think about any of them. in your mind, bts disbanded the second he broke your heart, and your trust. truthfully, it’s unfair, as all the other members have texted you so many times and begged for a response, but you can’t think of them without thinking of him.

the store is completely empty, so you're scrolling through every single social media app you have downloaded brainlessly. the words you're reading are not completely processing in your head at all, they kinda just look like funky shapes.

one title, though, caught your attention.

"kim namjoon talks about trust, compassion, and friendship in recent SEVENTEEN interview."

your jaw clenches, and you slam your phone down. your tears are threatening to come out, but you refuse to let yourself still be hurt by him. he doesn't deserve your time, your tears, your anything. that's, at least, what you keep trying to convince yourself of, anyways.

the bell at the door rings, and you try to regain your composure. you

"welcome to good vibes, home to all of the--"

you freeze. you don't know what to do, what to say, or how to even move. are you supposed to say anything? it's not like he’s saying anything—hell, he has a mask over his face and a hood on his head, but you KNOW it’s him. now, he’s just staring at you blankly. you’re wearing a mask, so maybe there’s a chance—

“y/n,” namjoon softly says your name, and your heart pangs against your chest. it’s a mix of heartbreak, anxiety, and all the leftover love you have for him. “i was looking for you.”

you’re so nervous, you could burst into tears. you want to hop over your desk and run into his arms and tell him how much you miss him, but also how much you hate him for hurting you so much. why do you still love a man that said such unforgivable words?

“why?” your words were a bit breathy, and you began to chuckle a bit while shaking your head. “there’s nothing left to say—unless, y’know, you’re gonna tell me all i care about is money again because i have a job.”

“i’m sorry,” namjoon sighs, then walks to you. the desk separates you, but you wish you could fall into his arms. you keep your composure all the same, though.

“that day, i was so stressed. it felt as if so many things were happening at once, and to know that a secret that i only told you got out… i felt so much betrayal all at once, i didn’t want to hear you out. if i’m being completely vulnerable, i wanted to go cry,” he let out a small chuckle.

looking at you, your face was completely unreadable. it’s like you were thinking of so many things, but also of nothing at the same time. was he doing well? he doesn’t know. he’s just going with what he feels in his heart.

“in my heart, i knew i should’ve ran back to you and apologized; in my heart, i knew i should’ve heard every single word you said, because you would never lie to me,” namjoon balls his hands into a fists, then looks at you in the eyes, “so i’m sorry it took so long for me to realize that i was wrong.”

the store was tense, and all you could hear is the music playing so softly in the background as you stare at him. he’s trying to read your expression, to see if there’s any bit of leftover love in your eyes, but it just feels cold.

after a minute, you begin to laugh. it’s a full laughing attack, actually, and namjoon just stares. his heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach, because he’s not stupid—he knows this means he’s fucked up.

“what, did you think was a kdrama, namjoon? did you think i was going to hear that apology, jump into your arms, and say, ‘oppa, never hurt me ever again!’ or something?” you say these words while still laughing, and namjoon is still stunned. “what happened for you to come up here and say this to me? based on your new change in personality with… hating poor people and all, i can’t imagine you just woke up one day and did it.”

“we found who actually did it. it was our stylist, sooyoung.”

“so that’s what it took for you to finally realize i was innocent? instead of thinking back ro everything you said to me and how hurt i was, it took them finding out the real person behind the crime for you to realize i was telling the truth?”

you slam your hand on the desk, and your body is trembling. you’re on an adrenaline rush, but you’re also sad, scared, and angry. namjoon notices this and places his hand on yours, like he always used to.

“y/n, you’re shaking, please ca—“

“i don’t give a fuck, namjoon,” you yell, and namjoon is completely frozen. “i’ve known you since you were a trainee, and, yet, you still thought that i was some… freaky gold digger that would sell her friends out for money. do you know how much that hurts? to know that you think i have the potential to be like that?”

namjoon’s eyes begin to tear up, while your eyes have already overflown. your cheeks are entirely red, and you let out a choked sob. your head drops, and you let out a dry chuckle.

“for over a decade, i have been nothing but loyal and true to you; yet, it takes a full-blown investigation for you to realize how you did me wrong,” you then look up at him with no sympathy in your body. “it’s my turn to tell you to get out, namjoon. and, for your sake, never come back. i never want to see you again.”

he hesitates to walk away, and you’re staring at him, emotionless.

“what, are you deaf? get out.”

namjoon finally leaves, walking quickly towards his car, and you fall to your knees. you’re on the cold floor, shaking and crying, as you realize your life will never be the same ever again.

[twyftwyt]

hey, guys, remember that one time i wrote a noah headcanon on manhandling? yeah, i’m bringing it back. enjoy the torture x

great heavens, what have i done…

ladies and gentleman 🦦

i’ll hop right in, cause i don’t wanna be a tease, we have enough of that in the eyes of noah sebastian.

now in regards to the manhandling thing, i don’t even mean it in a sexual way (but yes, i do but later on). i just imagine him opening and holding the door over your head so you can walk right under him. that shit makes him feel good and it makes you look even cuter in his eyes. i’m sure he loves to see his women in his shirts. someone mentioned wearing the band’s shirt and yes, i agree. seeing how arrogant he has admitted to being, i can totally see him making comments on you wearing his bands merch.

“look at you, what’s that say? turn around. bad who?” while smirking at you.

putting you in front of him in pictures so he can lock you in his arms. leaning on the door frame while talking to you (as a form of teasing, of course, this man will do just about anything to watch you suffer). getting things off counters that you have trouble reaching but i do believe he’d also enjoy watching you struggle to get it yourself. he’d deadass sit down and watch you climb the kitchen counter to reach the top drawer only to laugh at you. and i am sure he likes to fuck with shorter people. like putting things away in unreachable places so you have trouble getting them and whining for him to help you and practically having to beg him to give it to you? (don’t get distracted, i’m talking about the cereal he hid away)

now if we have to get a little spicy 🌶️

i can totally see him saying stuff like

“oh, you can’t take it? that little body of yours can take a little more pain?” while holding you down by the neck and slapping you all around

receiving texts in the middle of the day like

“missionary so i can wipe your tears from your eyes as i tell you how proud i am of you for being such a good little whore”

or

“you’re cute. i wanna train you to never cum without my permission”

or

“you’re too small and dumb to cum unsupervised”

or

“i think i’m just gonna use you as my little fucktoy tonight”

or

“oh, you feel embarrassed for what you did? then why are you so fucking wet, huh?”

or

“i’m the only one who’s allowed to do this to you.”

like he’d call you “dummy” and “silly” as a joke but he means it in a way that is “you’re not safe without my supervision”. and he likes to know you obey. and when you don’t, well…

let me tell you, this man reacts quickly and he reacts with violence, so you better do as he says.

oh yeah, and he’s definitely the “drop the attitude” type of boyfriend and he really, really wants to hear “and if i don’t?” type of answer, cause this man loves being tested. i just feel it in my bones.

oh yeah, and he will for sure smile at you while watching you beg for it.

yeah, this got a little out of hand and is not only “manhandling” but hey 🤷🏻‍♀️

[nekovmancer]

Heartless

Pairing: Ramattra x f!reader Summary: It was never in your plans to love a heartless being, and yet there you were: aching for something you could never have  Warnings: pure angst ‘cause I like to suffer over things I create in this silly head of mine. Insecure & rejected reader etc etc to not mention it’s been a while since I wrote anything in English so… maybe the poor writing is a warning itself thanks to insecure writer also lol Word count: 685 A/N: just found this in my drafts, which was supposed to be the fic I would post for my comeback but- before being such a drama queen, I am a shameless slut and always needy for a big robot guy who would surely ignore my burning passion… anyways, delight in the pain as much as I did while writing. Also posted at AO3!!

Sat alone on the bed, hearing your own hasty heartbeats as a requiem to your daydreams, you felt miserable once again as memories cursed you, echoing in your head until they ached. A common sentiment over the past few weeks, maybe months, since you’ve come to realize something that scared you to death: you’ve been in love with someone who could never love you back. 

Omnics, especially those like him, weren’t made to feel, only to destroy. And Ramattra was being formidable in crushing your feelings without a clue. No, maybe not so bluntly. The Null Sector leader surely wasn’t stupid, just as he wasn’t one to care about humans, mostly their questionable emotions: hate, disdain and anger he could cope with, but affection? That was too far from his purview.

Since you’ve met a long while ago, you had stood by his side like a pet, a very obedient one for the record. Once a discarded experiment from Talon who was staring into the precipice of loneliness long before he came along, now more like a tool with something akin to a porpoise. He gave you something to live for, to love, so you fought along Null Sector, gave them your blood, sweat and tears, and none of it seemed enough for you to be loved back, or cherished at least. So, why sacrifice your heart over a lost cause? They, or better, he would never, ever express any kind of gratitude for your commitment.

Or nothing at all, to the matter. 

You actually envy Ramattra. His faceplate is unable to conjure any emotion that could betray his feelings, if he held any. Your face, on the contrary, had plenty to show whenever your feelings threatened to flood from every pore of your being. That’s where the problem began. It was any morning like many others, after so many sleepless nights, but instead of holding back, you’ve made a decision, one that would cost more than you thought at first. 

It began with slightly flushed cheeks, a restless tremble on your fingertips, and that uneasy sensation on your stomach, sometimes cold, sometimes warm enough to heat your skin to a fever pitch. Feeling more exposed than ever, like your chest was being ripped open right in front of him, you thought he deserved to know, to recognize every little thing you felt… so you vocalized them, without a single hesitation. For what? A cold quietness followed.

Maybe he was thinking, maybe he would consider everything you had sacrificed… maybe you’re the one to blame. And still, you came to him with nothing but your bare passion, and returned to your solitude with something else: shame. 

“Why would you say that, human?” his tone was nothing like you thought it would be. Surely wasn’t amused, nor mad.Thing is he acted like it was nothing at all, remaining placid and untouched, as everything you just said meant nothing at all, despite the aching in your heart threatening to consume your very being. “Whatever you have in mind, forget it immediately. You should not be distracted by such frivolous sentiments.”

Shrinking, your mouth fell agape, but no words were poured. Instead, they found themselves stuck to your throat, and the overflow you’re expecting turned to your eyes, sight now blurred thanks to the tears. Your last efforts are invested in holding them back, only a single drop finding its way through your cheeks, meeting your lips with a salty taste that turned bitter on the tip of your tongue. “But, I–” your voice was shaking, lips also trembling to pronounce those two simple words.

“Enough,” Ramattra cuts you off, so sharp his words could be a blade. “I do not wish to hear about it. I can’t have whatever you think you’re feeling interfering in Null Sector’s plans.”

And with that, he buried your heart. Rest in peace, this terribly broken thing, whose shattered pieces may never come together, and shall the endearing pain haunt you from now and forever as you lay in your bed, alone to revive that moment again and again. 

[pizzabox-box]

Ah this is cringe as heck for me, but screw it, the last ask you got about a person not feeling much sympathy all for Peppi-No really was great, kudos to the OP of that comment since it really got me thinking, why even if I agree what the dude is doing is awful... I actually feel pretty fucking bad for him XD.

Like, I think we can all agree we've done shit in our lives that wasn't great, and that doesn't diminish the harm done or the fact other people have gotten hurt from our own stupid decisions. I also just think sympathetic villains are so interesting. (when done right, and hell you could argue even if he is the protagonist of the DMW AU, Peppi-No is a bit of an anti-villian) it really makes you think about the fact its so normal for people do try to avoid the consequences of their actions. I'm sure everyone has done something bad and instead of admitting fault have doubled down and tried to save face because they were SURE they could "fix" it without getting hurt from it.

Sure most of the time, (...I hope) its not as bad as murdering a person and taking on their identity... I think there is something really human about wanting to not get hurt, and feeling like shit about regrets we've had.

I think that Peppi-No even if what he doing is wrong, still... I dunno I can empathize. I mean.. he's sooo sowwy 🥺, its kinda pathetic, like a more extreme version of a puppy that just destroyed something important to you. Like "awww... you asshole, you're so cute though but goddamn it..."

I both am loving the angst of this AU and know its going to be so cathartic to see Peppi-no finally deal with his lie blowing up in his face and suffering MORE >:). I feel sympathy yes but I also love angst hehe.

(sorry if that wasn't super well worded? I don't normally send things like these >//>)

I assure you, it’s not cringe! It’s nice to see both sides voice their opinions!

Personally, I’m pretty divided on how I feel about Peppi-no. Part of me wants to strangle him for what he did (and what he might still do*cough* ), but at the same time, he’s,like you said, a sad, pathetic "sowwy" puppy, and I can’t help but feel bad for him.

When he took a piece of Peppino, he may have gained a conscience but not emotional maturity. He’s like a kid who just realized he fucked up in the worst way possible and is terrified of the consequenses. And fear can drive people to do terrible things, after all. Before that, his entire existence was just scrambling around, making pizzas out of whatever he could find: pigs, other clones, pizza monsters. He ended many lives, that but never faced any sort of repercussions. Never got a chance to learn "murder bad" ,

Then he takes a bite out of one of the kind Peppino—bam! Conscience, coherent thoughts, and memories of the guy he killed flood into his head. Can you imagine the whiplash, the shock, the stress? I certainly can’t.

Obviously, I’m not some dough doppelgänger pretending to be someone I killed. That would just be silly… no, really, I’m not.. But I can relate a little to what Peppi-no’s going through.

And let’s be honest, how many of us would have the absolute balls of steel to admit we killed someone’s friend in cold blood? Sure, it’s the morally right thing to do, but… you know. I’m not sure I could. (Once again purely hypothetical scenario)

Peppi-no's actions are unexcusable, he should know better than this by now, but at the same time you can kinda understand why he acts the way he does.

[isa-ghost]

amfmn missa.. p please.. please mother … feed us

I'M BEING ENABLED PPOVERHEAT

He's an actual grim reaper. That's where he's disappeared to so often in canon, reaper duties. It's a very demanding job, you know.

Doesn't stop him from feeling terrible about being gone so often though. He misses his husband and kids and hates how often he's out of the loop :(

Fr though Phil and the kids make him so so happy after spending countless hours working such a sad job. It's also partially why he sings and makes art. That brand of fun is catharsis for the soul.

He has all his canon weapons but I ALSO gave him a reaper deathscythe. And boy is he gonna use it. Fucking AWOOGA MissaSinfonia when he's angry.

Btw as a reaper he can FEEL souls. He can see their power, their condition, feel the surface level emotions and personality of its owner. This will come in handy later in the fic. ;)

As per the post I made asking for Missa appreciation so I can characterize him properly: He's undyingly loyal, he fights hard and loves even harder, he's protective, silly, and goddamn can he flirt.

All his wet cat behavior is a result of getting too overwhelmed by The Horrors. He's seen A Lot as a reaper. But somehow Quesadilla Island and all its... Everything. Always manage to show him a new brand of What The Fuck he's never even imagined before. Hence all his screaming and weeping when he's caught up on what he's missed. Like how tf else is he supposed to react??

Somewhat attached to that, he and Phil rlly were a match made in Federation Heaven bc they both have issues with self-doubt despite being insanely skilled and sharp-witted. Missa is better abt it than Phil though. His only acts up when he messes up a lot or just. Doesn't have a clue how to handle a situation where it's dire that he does. It's more of an insecurity about being unprepared and failing his loved ones than it is a doubt he has skill. He KNOWS he does, he hates when it's not enough. That's how he differs from Phil, who thinks he has none at all.

Btw when you fuck with the people he's protective over, he gets PISSED. We're getting a LOT of pissed off Missa in AMFMN <3 Ofc there'll be a lot of reaper tears too, his husband is suffering and there's little he can do about it. :( But ohohoho when the sad turns into rage. BARK WOOF. Eventually he decides EK is catching these hands and scythe.

He also shakes hands with his husband on being a self-sacrificing little shit. And. Yeah this is gonna happen later in the fic. (He's not dying dw dw)

You have no idea how excited I am that I basically get to build his dynamics with Fit, Etoiles, and Bagi from scratch. I'm so hyped. People are welcome to reply with this with any crumbs we have of their dynamics in canon but afaik they've rarely interacted outside of very minor moments, so AMFMN will largely be a sandbox for me to establish what I THINK they'd be like. Which in my fic plan so far, is largely taking each character's personality and applying how I think they'd react to a situation, and how that would look when two of them are interacting in that situation. Ex: at one point Etoiles has to comfort Missa bc he's just having a ROUGH time with this saving Phil stuff. But Etoiles is NOT a comfort guy. So he does his Etoiles thing: hearing Missa out while also cracking his usual brand of jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I also have a plot point planned with him and Bagi when shit is hitting the fan the hardest and OUUGHHH. That self-sacrificing shit am I right.

God I'm being so mean to him specifically in AMFMN though. Ender King is a sack of shit, he knows exactly who to harass most using Phil's body >:/

See in my AMFMN Fitza headcanons, I said they're each other's confidants. Which IS true. However, no one in the fic gets the honor of Phil FINALLY communicating with someone about his issues other than his husband. Missa is the person he caves and confesses things to. Missa gets the HC Deity lore and what's been happening to him lately. This is actually what Chapter 3 is :D

Also I am so sorry but I'm sliding a Missa Romantic Love Confession attempt into the fic and it gets interrupted by The Horrors. But yeah Missa is romantically in love with Phil, he just respects that Phil sees things platonically. He still wants to communicate his feelings though.

[starlightiing]

No but for me it's like.

I've only known these two drivers since February. They're as new to me as the sport is. Have I learned a lot in this time? Absolutely. But I haven't spent as much time as some other people loving and supporting these guys and yeah, sometimes that makes me feel a little silly when I get this emotional over them.

But the human experience is a beautiful thing, and my interest in them isn't constricted by time or even the amount of weird fun facts and oddball knowledge I may or may not know about them. My interest is in them as drivers, as incredibly competent athletes in their sport, and it doesn't really matter if I've loved them since February or since 2016/17.

All it means is I have spent less time with them together, and will never have as much time with them together as some other people. I genuinely enjoy their talent (and silly little personas) and even their complicated past. I get the tropes are fun, friends to lovers to enemies back to lovers, or whatever combination you guys want to do with them, but personal issues put aside, I really enjoyed them as teammates at Alpine, too.

And just yesterday, I was lamenting over the fact that when Esteban goes to Haas, chances are low he and Pierre would ever do much interacting again (even if the interaction now is 'forced'). I wouldn't ever have them as teammates in this team again, or probably most likely any team ever again (who knows though). I wanted them to have something. For me. Selfishly. I wanted to get one last treat from my guys, together, as teammates in the same team, before the end of the season.

I never could have imagined it would be this.

Pierre, keep proving them wrong. No matter what it is, what you do, keep proving them wrong. Time and time again. You are not doomed to fade into the background. When given the right opportunity and the right car, you've shown over and over just how good you are. Let's hope Alpine is able to give you that car and that opportunity next year. This podium was fought for and earned and I'm so, so proud.

Esteban, keep your head held high above the haters. You are an incredibly talented driver despite what the media tried to claim of you in the past, incorrectly. You have had to fight for everything, tooth and nail, your entire life. It only makes sense you would fight just as hard on the track to achieve your dream. You are destined for much more than this, and I hope and pray you find that in Haas. For now, I am so proud to see you get what is likely your final podium with this team, and to get it alongside your teammate who, despite your differences, was also proud to stand alongside you for it.

I could not have asked for a better send off for Pierre and Esteban as teammates. I asked for a little and I was spoiled with the movement of mountains. Both of these men worked their ASSES off in this team with a car that barely knew how to get out of it's own way, but the TALENT behind the drivers in the seats brought those shitboxes up to P2 and P3 today without any issues while 80% of the grid (unfortunately) went off track, crashed, spun, and otherwise. This was an EARNED podium for them both, through hard work and dedication to their craft and their team.

I'm so happy for them and so proud of them. This is probably the only time in my life I will ever see them up on the podium together as teammates.

It's suffering, liking two midfield team drivers so much, that the one time probably ever in the next fucking 10 years they both manage to get on the podium at the same time together, you spend the better part of an entire hour emotional over it because you have no idea if/when it'll ever happen again (and even less likely to happen on the same team).

Today meant a lot to me personally for many, many reasons. Not even all of them were detailed in this rambling. I am just so happy for them, so happy that they had this moment together as teammates, who grew up with each other from little children with the fondest memories of karting, to both be in F1 on the same team and get a P2 P3 podium at the same time.

I don't care if I've only been supporting them both since February. It doesn't matter. They are my silly little sports guys and I am so incredibly happy for them!

[kurisus]

Noragami: Final Chapter thoughts

For the last time :') I've been making these for roughly half the manga's runtime, both in chapter count and years. Which is wild to think, but anyway, spoilers under the cut. One final time.

I really spent the first half of this chapter with bated breath alternating between being relieved that Hiyori is okay and grew up to be a doctor and everything, and stressed about where Yato was and where her memories were. Then Yato showed up, and I think I burst into tears out of hysterics. They really got me, I thought he was gone.

That aside, it was an excellent chapter. I was right when I said that this would just be an epilogue and the true suffering was over, but god. god. I'm relieved they gave me that open ending and the chapter was mostly good old-fashioned Noragami silliness. With the expected gut punches.

It's probably a good thing that Yuka never got to reunite with her brother, but at least knows that he's resting in peace. That he was given a proper burial by someone who, at the time, barely knew him but wanted to make things right anyway. Great now I'm crying again.

Hiyori's pocket with the little capyper keychain she bought forever ago. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Yato's CPR being so intense it cracked Hiyori's ribs. god he was so desperate to save her. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

HER TOUCHING HER LIPS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Fujisaki getting nostalgic seeing tall grass (as we know from the omake is called kaya) was weirdly touching. Though Father has faded, Kaya is the one that is still remembered. We never got to learn his real name, and while I am still curious about it, I can see the purpose--by not knowing his name, we the readers don't give him a lifeline.

That's not the only fourth wall lean in the final chapter. There was also Yato being able to save himself by becoming a meme, much like how the fandom and Adachitoka have memed on him for years as well.

Back to the chapter, it looks like Father's consciousness had always been lurking alongside Fujisaki's, maybe making him do things from time to time, which is really weird and creepy. Maybe he was dormant until the Yomi arc, but either way he's been doing this to a dozen other guys over the centuries. I'm glad the cycle was broken.

It's hilarious that Fujisaki tries to ask Hiyori out and she's just like haha not interested coo phone be upon ye.

I'm so glad the cherry blossom party has become an annual tradition with even more gods invited to the party. I'm also so glad that Yato refuses to release Kazuma and Bishamon apparently makes it a point to bully him about this whenever she sees him. But also, Kazuma doesn't seem to want to be released. He's just like yeah whatever man I'm glad you saved us. Cheers.

Side note, Kazuma's new glasses look a lot like the ones he was wearing in that 100 years ago flashback of him and Bishamon, around chapter 68 or 69 I think?

So we also get to see the aftermath of what happened to Yukine--he still transforms into a wolf every now and then, because much like how Nora transforms into a snakelike creature whenever she loses control of her emotions, his form is a wolf, and unlike Nora he's always been very emotional. So the nightmares come out and Yato's left with a giant wolf thrashing around in their shared living space lol, but at least his dad is there to hug him :')

WAIT STOP PAUSE EVERYTHING IT LOOKS LIKE THEY SHARE A BED NOW. I JUST COLLAPSED INTO A BALL.

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

The panel of Yato hugging him made me lose it again. THEY'RE SOOOOOOOO.

So we never did get to find out what happened to Yukine's father--but as I pointed out in the reread I did during December, I don't think it matters. Yukine wasn't going to exact revenge on him anyway because he's not the kind of person to do so.

The page of Nora reading Hiyori's diary also made me so sad. Hiyori's right--she probably did have parents who loved her, but she never got to meet them. One thing I noticed throughout this manga is shinki habitually chasing something relating to their pasts. Yukine craves a good relationship with a father figure, Kazuma is obsessed with Bishamon because he missed out on marrying a girl he loved, Daikoku acts like a dad to every child he meets because he died before having his own kids, and like Yukine, Hiiro craves the parental love she never had. And as Hiyori pointed out, being given a name by Father was like being given life.

Since we didn't get to see what became of her name situation, but Yukine still bears the Hagusa name, she must still have Mizuchi. If her master is gone, can she still draw borderlines? Does she hang around with Yato and Yukine still? Adachitoka didn't say Kofuku DIDN'T name her, so...

The way Hiyori remembered Yato because of his scent had me SOBBING, yall. She didn't forget, but she did solve her problem and it was solved by people, just like they've been saying throughout the manga. But now, they can be together again. Yato was away from her for some years, and maybe he'll leave for several more (it's been a repeated thing in the manga that he'll insist he has to stay away for her own good), but the point is that even if it's been years and years, she'll always remember him. It's open-ended, but that just means it can be my preferred ending of Hiyori not forgetting but choosing to distance herself. She'll meet up with Yato and Yukine every once in a while living her own, separate, fulfilling life. They've been watching over her all these years anyway.

And so, that brings us to the close. It's as happy an ending as we could have possibly gotten, and above all else, I'm relieved. I've been saying for...years, probably, that I want an open ending, but I really thought it was off the table with recent events.

Final hangups are the same as they were in my final reread (tagged under #Noragami reread on my blog), so I won't repeat them, but the bottom line is that I got everything I wanted out of this ending--except maybe a trio hug? But that interior illustration of the four of them, all smiling and happy, Yato's arm around his sister, made up for that. I kind of wish there was a Yatori kiss for real, but the panel of her touching her lips also assuaged that.

Anyway, I'm not sure what other manga would/will make me unhinged enough to type up monthly thoughts posts for years, but I'll be tuned in to whatever new Adachitoka has coming up. Whether it's a full series, a short series, or just a oneshot, I'll be reading every word. I'm also looking forward to getting the final volume once it releases here, and praying for an artbook announcement.

Thank you for reading! I have some posts to make, some projects to plan, and I'll be diving into the tag once more for old times' sake. This won't be the last of me!