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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years ago

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look i want charlie's pov on malec more than anything. tall scary mobster(?) brother of cute gf is melted soft puddle for this weirdly hot dude with great eyeliner and also just generally charlie interacting with magnus actually. hey do u think if he ever found out about the shadowworld he might talk to magnus about it for someone not so close but still trustworthy and kind and safe? aaaaaaaAAAA

ok but you are right and you know what? FUCK IT. au with charlizzy endgame he can be part of the polycule lmaoo and we get to see all the dumb shenanigans that come with that

like LOOK i get why izzy would tell him that the lightwoods are jewelry makers, it's not THAT far from weapons forgery so she can probably pull that lie off, maryse probably knows a little something about it too, and besides there is her shop, but alec? Alexander Gideon Fucking Shit At Lying Lightwood? NO WAY

i mean look alec is smart and he is cunning and he actually can lie when a plan involves it (he was pretty convincing with "i will bring magnus to the clave myself") and he definitely knows how to navigate diplomacy and stuff like that, but when it comes to actually pretending to be something he's not? especially if it involves improvising? my man lightwood fucking sucks. it's the truth. the same man who convinced lorenzo he would arrest his own boyfriend went "TheSE CeiLInGS ARe spECtaCULaR" not a few moments later. do you think he knows JACK SHIT about jewelry other than what magnus and izzy like or don't like? do you think he even knows what mundanes use as means of transportation? this man doesn't know what bees are. i have to laugh

charlie is probably already half convinced that they're in the mob or some shit anyway, with the way Fucking Shit At Lying Lightwood went all "she told you we're jewelers pffft". also he saw izzy kick that vending machine. like he probably thought it was hot valid but come on now. a woman in stilettos KICKED a vending machine right in the middle without even flinching while she was in the hospital tired as shit with withdrawal sweats. charlie ain't stupid. but also he pretends that he buys it and is all ":) love jewels" just to see what they will come up with

alec gets desperate and asks magnus for help. magnus is just like why do you think i know shit about jewelry making?? alec is like "well you mix up stuff all the time. also you wear them. didn't you design our wedding ring?" and he's like "alec i used mAGIC for that. also do you think making POTIONS is the same as making JEWELS?" and alec is like "i'M DESPERATE"

cue the both of them having an intense research session. for like two whole weeks you can find the both of them at any given time watching boring as fuck documentaries about jewelers and taking notes and shit. they even get some tools so they can PRACTICE just in case charlie fucking? asks to see alec work or something? they are himbos. and of course it's all for nothing because that is NOT the part someone who's not in the field would focus on, so as soon as charlie goes "so, what's your specialty?" alec's like "what's a specialty"

bonus he looks up maryse and you know because shadowhunters are fucking dumbasses she probably just spawned into the mundane world without any documentation or backstory or ANYTHING so he finds out that maryse lightwood doesn't fUCKING EXIST and her shop just manifested fully formed one day. at this point the mob is the only possible explanation

charlie idly wonders if he should go to the police, if anything to ask about them, but he doesn't want to ruin the lightwood's lives, they are nice. then one day he walks by the police station and who does he see if not maryse's FUCKING boyfriend. "oh my god, they are infiltrated"

charlie probably thinks that alec buys magnus all his fancy stuff with like laundered money or something. he's all like "haha hey glad to see that they are so accepting of gay people in the mob- i mean jewelry making business :)"

and THEN he asks magnus and alec how they met and they are like "uh" and magnus is like "alec was. a frequent client" cuz you know not a LIE but what the hell was this mobster always going to Fancy Guy for? maybe alec doesn't buy him his stuff maybe magnus is ALSO in the mob. maybe he's a hitman or something. damn, they are really open minded in the mob

except magnus is too sweet and nice to be a hitman so either he's excellent at pretending or he also has nothing to do with any of this. maybe he's like, a tailor or something. mobsters also have to buy regular stuff right? they wear a lot of suits in the movies or whatever. maybe he's their lawyer. he's gotta be pretty good at what he does if he manages to save these guy's asses in court, because they kinda suck at blending in (bonus somehow izzy's trial comes up in conversation so he is like. oh my god magnus IS their lawyer. and his admiration for the guy just doubles cuz really, how)

so he decides, you know, if this guy is also unrelated to the mob he should probably talk to him or something. magnus is trustworthy, he figures. also, i mean, same situation, right? regular folks who just found themselves in love with weirdly sweet mobsters. maybe they can trade tips. if magnus is their lawyer, he probably knows how stuff works better than charlie anyway

so one day he shows up at magnus' and he's all like "i want to preface this by saying that i won't tell anyone" and magnus is sweating already because FUCK there's a potion simmering not two rooms away and alec's bow is rIGHT BEHIND CHARLIE HANGING IN THE DOOR. and charlie is all "do you know what the lightwoods actually do?" and magnus is like "uhhh, yes, they are jewelry makers" and he's like "come on magnus. did you really think i wouldn't figure it out? they aren't jewelry makers. did you know that maryse lightwood doesn't EXIST? hell, i bet none of them do"

cue dramatic "i know what they are" "say it. say it out loud" "mobsters" "what?" "what?" "uh"

and magnus is all like "haha charlie don't be silly of course they are not mobsters. excuse me" and shoos charlie away somehow

he probably has to EXPLAIN to the lightwoods what the mob even is cuz let's be real, there is no way they know. and everyone is like well this is very fucked up! and alec is like "hey actually we should just pretend to be mobsters, that would be easier. it's way closer to what we actually do. jewels, izzy? really?" and izzy is like "alec i'm not telling my boyfriend that we are MOBSTERS!!!" and alec is like "well of course not, that's what a mobster would say. but we can pretend that we are pretending to be jewelers but REALLY we are pretending to be mobsters who are pretending to be jewelers, leave some clues here and there, and actually convince him because he thinks he knows our secret" and izzy is like "no!!!" and alec is like ":("

(magnus is like "that was a very good plan, honey" and alec's like "right?" and magnus is like "yes, very complex, i like it. you'd make a good mobster, you could use your Shadowhunter Mode" and izzy is like "can you guys PLEASE save this for later")

anyway they probably sit charlie down and have a "charlie we are totally not mobsters and here is why" talk but charlie is very clearly like "hmmm. doubt" so after some more sweating and shit they decide to just tell him the truth lmao

bonus points if charlie goes all "THAT'S your newest lie?" and then magnus starts floating or something and he goes "oh ok i see. can i lie down for a second". i mean realistically he would probably test them but once magnus straight up portals them to paris he kind of has to face that maybe he wasn't that right. maybe luke even turns in front of him and shit. or the lightwoods use the runes to become invisible. you know. but THEN he goes "oh ok i see. can i lie down for a second"

but hey at least his cute gf isn't killing people on the side! just demons. who exist. well he can just not think about that!

hey this is random but i was picturing someone mentions that the mob sells drugs and izzy is kinda upset because, you know, she's struggled with addiction lmao. and protective ass alec is like >:( but then later izzy talks about it with charlie and it's like, sweet? extra points if she's like "worst part is that you're not even that wrong. i dragged raphael in with me" and they talk about that you know

anyway yes you are RIGHT about him going to magnus to talk about the shadow world, like, at least it's not the mob! and he was ready to talk to him about that anyway. and magnus out of all of them is the one who best understands mundanes so he can help a lot because he kinda knows what charlie will be thinking, unlike the rest of them. hell, maryse is taking classes on being a mundane. like. come on

and just aaa honestly i would just really like to see that friendship? and see charlie being all excited cuz you know he's a DOCTOR so imagine all the shit he can learn from them! and eventually magnus mentions catarina and charlie gets to meet her and he becomes kind of her inside man helping her cover her tracks when she uses magic to cure a patient that wouldn't make it otherwise or something, and he is really happy with that. and it's just sweet you know? and just yeah generally give me charlie getting close to the downworlders, maybe even getting gifts from madzie because he's been helping her mom so much, like enchanted flowers or something, please and thank you daodhsaoijdsaoi

#shadowhunters #sh #malec #izzy lightwood #sh crack #alec lightwood #magnus bane #charlie #daoushdajdasoijdas his tag is just charlie #catarina loss #madzie loss #ask #anonymous #long post #crack #himbo husbands #himbo alec lightwood

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nightcoremoon · 4 years ago

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so for the first time I saw batman: the killing joke.

...

it was okay I guess. but massively overrated. I expected some fucking masterpiece of cinema but instead it was just two unrelated short films that were more style and flash than substance.

so first off, barbara's storyline was mediocre. franz wasn't a compelling villain; just a creep, and a trust fund brat. oh wow he's a mafia kid who stole his family's fortune by hacking. if it was the falcone family I'd have cared more but it wasn't so it's just some faceless deathfodder rando. who gives a shit. the whole situation was just a vehicle to shove batman's dick into babs. which kinda fucks over bruce's character here and judging by the timeline kinda makes him a bit of a groomer, yikes. bruce and gordon have known each other since bruce was a young boy and we know that bruce is way older than babs so yeah bruce totally knew her from birth until present day, he literally utilized an active power dynamic to police her crimefighting activities, and he should have fucking known better and stopped her when she kissed him because it would (and did) compromise their professional dynamic, but hey, batdick. and at least barbara recognized that she was behaving emotionally rather than logically when it came to bruce and paris and took the high road out. that would be a serviceable standalone episode to write her on a bus in a serialization but THIS IS A MOVIE. so for a waste of an already short runtime it's like having an appetizer before your meal but instead of something like a crab cake before stuffed flounder, you get greasy onion petals that are more fried batter than onion before getting a well done cheeseburger that's just a glorified hockey puck on a sponge with a kraft single on top. the animation and vocal delivery were excellent of course, not gonna disparage that aspect, so it was well made, but the writing was just not very good. a polished turd. quantic dream must have developed it then because it feels like I watched a david cage production.

so in a 78 minute movie, five of which were the credits, we had a half hour Disney/Pixar short except those bring joy and this brought boring. also there were a lot of shots of her ass tits and underwear that were obnoxiously male-gazey and there was a token gay for the sole purpose of dangling a carrot on a stick for the queers. look kids, warner brothers and dc comics cares about the lgbts! give us money! a waste of time before the real reason why anyone came to see the movie that literally only exists to pad out the runtime to make it a feature length (even though paying a full ticket would've been a total ripoff because, again, IT WAS ONLY 78. even 9 was 81 minutes long and that had an amazing storyline so I forgave it, but 78 minutes? ugh.

also, GOTHAM RAGE??? CRINGE. SO CRINGE.

alright now for the joker segment.

*ahem*

what the fuck? that sucked! *throws tomato*

mark hamill and the joker's lines and the art and the cinematography and the choreography was all good and the plot was cohesive. I get it.

but holy shit was the writing weak as fuck.

okay so some rando breaks the J-ster out of Arkham (already unlikely but ugh whatever), he didn't turn a trick or recruit or anything, he just went to purchase a carnival. or, steal one. but wait, he DID recruit, but he went to get all of the stereotypical Circus Freak™ stereotypes. little people, fat lady, bearded lady, wolf man, strongman, diaper man (wait, what?), and the two headed woman. I guess if you don't really think about why all of them were super readily available in the outskirts between arkham and gotham [i just realized they both end with -am] then it makes enough sense. and then literally right after that HE RECRUITS SOME GUYS TO HELP HIM KIDNAP GORDON. and then strips and photographs barbara. um. ew. you can tell the writer and director were men. Alan Moore is constantly molesting women in his comics and this one trick pony should be put down already. but whatever. the plot is weak and it only gets saved by the flashback sequences.

oh.

oh no.

they're not that great.

he's a failed unfunny comedian who just wants some money to move his wife to a better house so he turns to thievery with the mob. OR YOU COULD JUST STOP GOING TO THE BAR AND BLOWING IT ALL ON BOOZE. I mean the cops knew where to find him after all so clearly he's a repeat customer (or moore is a bad plot writer who relies on convenience and shut the fuck up and don't critically analyze it). alright so he gets wrapped up in the mob to perform a heist on a playing card factory. GET IT, BECAUSE HE'S THE JOKER??? and he uses the moniker of the red hood to retain his anonymity. I expected the mobsters to be working for francisco but no the paris storyline was only cooked up screenplay for passing the runtime so why would they do something clever and interesting and make the film cohesive? that'd be really stupid to make the movie feel more like one movie and not two short films. at least when grindhouse & planet terror did it they advertised themselves as an anthology film. whatever. he falls in the vat of acid which melts the red hood to his face and I gotta say that's actually a pretty good idea to get his face white and his hair green and his lips red. I like that part. oh wait I forgot about the most important part! his wife gets shoved in the refrigerator. OH WOW THAT'S JUST SO COMPELLING AND ORIGINAL, TOTALLY NOT SOMETHING THAT ALREADY HAPPENED TO GREEN LANTERN. TWICE. although she wasn't literally shoved into a literal refrigerator like alex was. rip in frozen pieces you absolute legend of a trope namer. alright, so... so the joker is sad because his wife died. you know, the wife we saw for two minutes and knew the moment we saw her drenched in sepia she was gonna die. and she died offscreen. kyle's gf died and he was fine. gordon's wife died and he was fine. batman's parents both died and he was fine. oh boo hoo someone I love died! fuck off. I am so goddamn sick of people trying to justify their evil with "I was sad once". it's a stupid trope and it's not compelling. the only valid version is doctor doofenshmirtz' evil(er) version in the PF movie because it's hilarious that it's because of a toy train because that's the emotional depth that fridgewomen is treated with in all of these storylines. but at least batman said so. oh yeah, I almost totally forgot, batman's in this movie.

batman punches people and nonlethally takes them out. by suffocating them and letting them get stabbed and throwing them into pits of spikes and HEY WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND! okay let's just ignore that bit and hope that the little people squeezed between the gaps in the spikes and the strongman could breathe in the face mask and the two headed women had KO gas and the fat lady was fat enough that the knives only stabbed her cellulite. it wouldn't be the biggest reach one would have to make in watching this fucking disaster of a plot mess.

now I did like that it was actually batman, and by that I mean he gave a shit about the insane because he recognizes that mental illness is not a cause of dangerous or criminal behavior, just a potential exacerbating factor if it wasn't treated. yeah he brutalized mobsters and crime lords but they were mostly in self defense while gathering intel. he politely asked sal maroni and the sex workers for information and they gave it to him without violence- he manhandled maroni but only after he reached into his pocket for a cigar which could've been a gun. also batman says sex work should be decriminalized if only by not ratting them out to the cops. he was a genuinely good person in the second half of the movie. too bad it was ruined by the shitty first half that made him a borderline groomer.

joker's song was... bad. mark hamill performed his ass off but the song wasn't that good. it just tried to be willy wonka if he was a voyeuristic monster. oh yeah have the only girl character be paralyzed stripped and photographed only to give her father ManPain™. again... the fuck? joker and batman were both gross but, again. male writers. if it was a one-off I could drop a thermian argument because, alright one and done makes sense, especially 1988 standards. but it saturated and soured the entire goddamn movie because of abhorrent pacing decisions. so you're goddamn right I'm gonna bring it up twice! joker was a creep, his plan was dumb, nolan and burton and lord/miller and even ayer had better motivations. YES I AM SAYING THAT JARED LETO'S JOKER HAD BETTER WRITING THAN MARK HAMILL'S JOKER. not nearly to the level of ledger nicholson or galifanakis but hamill didn't have a lot to work with here and I maintain that his performance was amazing; honestly I like his the best out of all of them but just... not here. but I think I can cut some slack to firelord ozai and luke skywalker even if he just phoned it in here which he didn't. writing was just weak. and that's all there is to it. don't anon me and threaten to remove my bones ok?

alright so batman and joker fought and joker got the upper hand and was gonna kill him but it was a prop gun. haha. they had a heart to heart and batman tells joker that he wants to help him get better, even after joker killed robin and molested barbara and traumatized gordon and did countless other travesties, he still said he would help. but joker said no, and told a joke that was good enough to make batman laugh. and then the credits rolled.

...

what a completely pointless and empty ending. oh it's deep and meaningful and poignant? ok sure, I guess, movie, but you didn't earn that. shyamalan did the same thing a dozen times. that doesn't make him any less of a shit writer.

I can understand the concept of batman laughing at joker's joke, humanizing him.

I get it. I see what they tried to do. I respect it.

but this movie was massively overhyped and overrated and I expected it to be so much better than it was. but overall to me it was just another batman cartoon to throw on top of the pile. maybe it was influential to graphic novels. maybe it shaped batman into what he is today. it published right as tim burton's movie and I can respect its place in the pantheon of comic history. but sometimes things that are classic...

aren't that great.

citizen kane, casablanca, the maltese falcon, the treasure of the sierra madre, gone with the wind, singing in the rain, all of them are classic and legendary pieces of art. but they're just not that good, interesting, appealing, watchable, or FUN. they were good at the time- I mean come on we all know them today- but on going back you'd have to really appreciate the finer details to still love the movies today. and this belongs there, in the vault, to be appreciated from afar. influential if dated.

but god am I still disappointed nonetheless.

TL;DR

it was just okay. had some good ideas, had some really bad ideas, had some ugly stuff. overall mediocre. first half 5/10, second half 7/10, overall 6/10.

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captainjimothycarter · 4 years ago

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From the list of ship tropes--I would love to see a Steggy drabble with modern!Peggy casually sitting on Steve's lap during an Avengers meeting :D

This is not what you wanted but this is what came out? I am not sorry. warning there is semi description of violence

If there was an opposing eye in the room about the love of his life slowly waltzing towards him with a slow sway of her hips, no one said a damn thing. And good for them to learn not to, to finally learn not to oppose the Captain unless it was vital to do so. Steve was not a cruel man. He has lived far too long to become cruel and heartless, but he is a man who rules with a hard iron fist. He will take the debates and other people’s points of view and he will consider them, but at the end of the day, his word is the law.

And the only people to oppose them, well they are no longer under his organization now are they?

After waking up in the ice and being told that all he knew was now gone, Steve dropped off the face of the earth. How could anyone expect him not to? He was a man who no longer knew himself, no longer knew what was going around him. Who had to figure out just who Steve Rogers was behind that mask. And with it, came meeting a little brunette far, far away from the city he once called home.

When he finally emerged two years later, Steve had long made a name for himself as leader of the Avengers. The public would know them as saviors people with power, money, and well, powers who did right for the public. Who took the corrupted politicians, the corrupted cops, and grounded them to a pulp. There was no warning with them, there was no buying their votes or buying their good sides. There was swiftly handling the matter. Swift and clean, leaving no mess behind, but they always knew who killed them. There was always a calling card left behind.

And once you started to take out a few of the politicians and cops, well the matter basically handled itself. At least until you got those brave, stupid souls who thought they could challenge Steve. Who thought they could attack the public rather that was with relentless taxing or bills or ridiculous laws or even cops who killed mercilessly and without reason. Those are the ones Steve loved to personally get his hands dirty with, otherwise, he had people who did his work for him.

He made the public a better place. He made the schools safer with hired veterans as guards, stronger laws opposed to gun violence, with more money fluctuating into schools than anyone ever dreamed of. He made more laws protecting the poor, protecting immigrants, easier processes in all to become a citizen. Laws and personal hand went into making it easier for veterans to get assistance rather that was with money, food, therapy, or even a home. He made medical access much easier for those around them. He did not want anyone to suffer the preventable loss of a parent, just as he had. Several times.

While the media might call him a villain or mobster, Steve just called himself a civilian doing the right thing. He never wanted to lead the Avengers, it just happened and he was damn good at it. He took his point of view from living through the horrors that he did, where being gay could’ve gotten you killed, where being poor was a death sentence, and made sure that no one would suffer in that matter. While politicians tried to tarnish his name and call for his head, the public willingly protected and loved him.

And Steve was loved by his peers. He loved them as well. They worked well together, making New York in whole a better place. Slowly they turned their eyes towards the rest of the States, but that was a long time coming.

Everyone knew who Peggy was. Her word was rule as much as Steve’s was, even if her accent made the rules seem a bit posher than his Brooklyn accent. The last politician who underestimated her as she went undercover to see if a civilian’s tip was true on rather or not the bastard was dumping toxic waste into public water, he was no longer among them. Not just for the tip being true, but for the fact he tried to corner her in the office with bad intentions on his mind.

Peggy didn’t even get to blink twice before Steve was there, piano wire in hand, face streaked with blood, as were her clothes and his. She was furious for two minutes, insisting she could handle herself and didn’t need Steve to save her until he pointed out the man was intending to kill her with poison on his lips. It still wasn’t good to her pride that Steve had saved her.

“You look well-rested,” Steve hummed as she walked around the meeting table and plopped down into his lap with ease. He wrapped one arm around her waist tightly, the other tapping on the tablet that Clint had slid him.

“I told you I wasn’t that tired,” she sighed, giving a roll of her eyes. Her legs tucked underneath his, making herself more than comfortable as she studied the tablet too. “When’s the next meeting?”

Steve hummed as he looked up at Clint who shrugged his shoulders before looking down at his watch. “Oh,” the archer breathed. “Two minutes from now. Security just said Natasha and Banner are back from their medical run. Thor and Tony are coming up now. Sam is stuck in a few meetings at the VA but he’s sent over the reports via Red Wing.”

“That’s fine about Sam, I expected with the added hands and funding he will have his hands full. I’ll text him in a few to remind him Banner had hired a few more doctors to be on sight and a few more psychiatrists so Sam isn’t trying to do it all.”

Peggy yawned and stretched, very cat-like, tucking her face into Steve’s neck. Her breath tickled his ear. “Hm. Sam is still going to try,” she reminded him. “He reminds me too much of you, biting off more than he could chew. You’ll have to physically drag him away if you want him to rest.”

“I’ll just send you to do it,” he chuckled. “He likes you better than me.”

“Of course he does. Who wouldn’t?”

Childishly, Steve stuck her tongue out at her, one Peggy captured in her mouth. Clint politely looked away at the pair kissing, relieved when the rest of their team finally came in. The heavy thump of Thor’s hammer made Steve look up, unembarrassed about them kissing.

“Christ,” he breathed at the bags under Tony’s eyes. “The hell happened to you, Stark? I sent you home to rest!”

Tony, still in the armor with the face mask melted back, shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back into the chair. It wasn’t odd of him to have these bags under his eyes. They were just about a permanent part of his feature as his trademark goatee. “You did and I decided that was a stupid order.” At Steve’s pinched face, he rolled his eyes. “Stephen - Dr. Strange - and I got discussing a few possible solutions to the toxic waste still hanging around the public water. We’re confident we’ve found a solution but it’s taken long hours to even complete the formula.”

Steve’s tongue clicked on the roof of his mouth, lips firmly pressed. “That’s amazing and I thank you both for that but you need rest or you will be useless. Don’t make me order Jarvis to ban you from the lab again. Please get some rest tonight. No lab work. I’m glad, really glad about what you two have accomplished and I am sure it will work, but it can wait 24 hours. We have Hill and Peggy’s niece guarding the areas and setting up ropes and cameras. It should be enough for a week.”

“You two were doing more than just working,” Clint snickered, ignoring the look Tony threw his way. “Oh c’mon, I walked in on your naked ass being pounded by Stephen. That’s a sight I’ll never forget!”

“It’s not my fault you don’t knock, Barton. Learn to knock.”

“Anyway,” Peggy sighed, already rubbing at her temples. “Anthony please refrain from fucking in the public labs. If you must insist on doing so, just...clean up properly. Natasha, doll, did we learn anything about Hydra or Aim’s whereabouts?”

Natasha’s lips pursed at Steve visually stiffening, trading a look with Peggy. Peggy’s fingertips dipped below the table to rub at Steve’s knee, offering comfort through touch. “We did,” she finally said, carefully. She could feel Steve’s eyes boring two holes into her. This was a delicate subject for all of them.

“You are aware of Clint’s brother still in the circus?” Another pair of baby blue eyes were staring right at her. “I made contact with him. He’s constantly on the move and no one suspects a carnie. He’s made a lookout in Hydra’s old spots during the war. Lots of them have abandoned labs that I’ve noted in my report, but there’s one that Barney has said that still looks to be in some use. It’s in the report as well. But…”

She took in a deep breath and tapped on her own tablet, flicking her wrist to airdrop a file to Steve’s screen. “Those are the shots of the Winter Soldier. Barney is sure of it. His last two victims mirror where we’ve sent donations to in order to help with the last few disasters. They’re following us.”

Steve clenched the tablet in hand, tight enough to threaten to crack the screen. Even Peggy murmuring soft words in his ear couldn’t distract him as he studied the face on the screen. Hidden behind mask and goggles, it was impossible to make out just who was under that mask. Knowing Hydra, knowing how personally they are at hand, it was even harder to make out with the recent string of murders if they were a puppet or not.

“I’ll call a few people in Germany and Russia,” Peggy said immediately, forcefully taking the tablet from Steve and replacing it with her hands. “They’ll keep a lookout. The Howling Commandos are still about, unknownst to the public thanks to Erksine’s serum being repeated. They’ll follow up with Barney’s lead too. Relay the message that we are in favor of Barney and he will be granted pardon when he’s in New York.”

“But-” Clint started, Natasha, silencing him with a look.

“Not now, Clint.”

“But,” Clint insisted, gritting his teeth. “You need someone to trail him too. Change every few days. Not that I don’t trust my brother, I don’t trust the company he keeps. Anyone can slip in and kill him the second that they are aware he’s working with the Captain.”

“That’s a good point,” Steve sighed, scrubbing at his face. “We’ll send in Daisy Johnson. She can easily blend in and I think would enjoy the chance to stretch her new powers. Thank you for this, Natasha. It’s going to come in handy. We’ll lead a trap to lead him here. Eventually, I or Peggy will be on that list. Hydra isn’t stupid enough to go after one of you.”

“Let them try,” Thor murmured, palming at the hammer and making the table shake with each stroke. “I am still behind in my friendly bet with an Agent Coulson on our count of Hydra agents down.”

“Same bloodthirsty man I’ve always loved,” Bruce laughed, looking about as tired and strained as they all felt.

“Aye, Captain, there are few more camps set up on the local borders that are being prevented from coming into the states. I know of the governor who says they are on our side but they refuse to allow them in. I was able to drop off medication and supplies with Tony’s help, but they will not last long. How should we proceed?”

“Of course he’s not. I didn’t expect him to,” Steve sighed, pinching his brow. “Peggy, are you up for a quick handle of the situation? If not, I can send-”

“I’ll go,” she replied at once, kissing his temple and hopping to her feet. “Meet me in the bedroom, will you? Once we’re done here?”

Steve watched as she paused on her way out to tussle Tony’s hair and hug Thor around the neck. She always loved to try to make him jealous in some ways, it just never worked with the team.

“Take Peggy,” he told Thor with a friendly nod. “Tony as well. You can sleep on the jet, I’m afraid it won’t be much of a cat nap. How severe do you think the medical situations are?”

“Severe enough to deplete the supplies I gave them that are to last a week three days ago,” he sighed highly, shaking his head.

“I can go,” Bruce said at once, surprising them all. His feet were always on the ground in-home. No one bothered to tell him elsewhere. He had plenty of medical and special cases to attend to. “It sounds like they’ll need my help if we’re to get the camps inside the border and processed already. I’ll pack my bag. Tones, c’mon.”

With the pair gone, Steve rubbed at his face and stood up, throwing the tablet onto the table so it clattered. “Clint,” he sighed. “I’m sorry about dealing with your brother and not telling you about it. It was...an insistent matter. We’ll make him safe. And I know that will be on your mind with worry but for now, I need you to go make a round of the police precincts for me. Natasha, do you mind doing the hospitals? Switch off midday so no one is suspicious. I have intel telling me there’s a mole somewhere and I suspect there. Soon as we get it, kill them silently. No card.”

He paused, considering the situation with a shrug of his shoulders. “Moles are important to catch, but look out for the corrupted ones. Doctors abusing their power. Not listening to people. Police with too many tickets, especially close to their end of shift. Check where their money is going. Inform the captains that their disband is coming soon and the other programs are going to be up and running by next week. We’re pushing it hard. It gives them time to reconsider where they will go within the system and if they resist you know what to do.”

With Clint gone, it left just him and Natasha. He wasn’t surprised when she hugged him tightly around the shoulders. He sighed into her, tension melting away. “Do you think it’s him?” he asked, pulling away with knitted brows.

“I know it is,” she sighed, patting his cheek. “That doesn’t mean he is a lost cause. The Howling Commandos will lead him to our trap and it will work. It has to work. Shuri and her brother are already working on means to accommodate him and take in the facts of his brainwashing. It won’t be easy but we’ll have him safe soon. Then…”

“Then we can send someone in his place to get the intel we need.” That was part of the plan Steve didn’t like but they had no choice. If they were to destroy Hydra, it would be from the inside out.

“Any ideas as to who that will be?” Natasha had to half jog to keep up with Steve’s steps.

“Right now? No. I need to make a decision soon, but everyone is useful elsewhere and I can’t afford to pull them away. Most of us are too recognizable. I am wary about sending Peggy in. She...knows the history but living it is another matter. I know she will argue otherwise but…” He rubbed at his brow and shrugged his shoulders.

“Clint can do it.” This wasn’t the first time Natasha had insisted on these ideas. “If we can get Barney to slip in as his handler, it will be added cushion if something is to go wrong. Trust me on this one.”

She did bring up a few good points, but the consequences heavily outweighed the benefits if he was to get caught. Clint was valuable and yes, Steve was wary about losing his team. “I’ll consider it,” he said, stepping onto the elevator. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Just make sure he sleeps tonight.”

“And you make sure you sleep. The world’s problems are not yours to bear,” she reminded him, even if he rolled his eyes.

“It is when you’re me,” he huffed, kicking at the door. “When your decisions, when your actions fail and you make the world a worst place when you’re trying to do better. I won’t let any more people needlessly die by their hands or any others. For now…”

He pressed the button to his floor in the penthouse and smiled warmly at her. “I’m going to go enjoy a night with my wife.”

As expected, Peggy was waiting for Steve. Unexpectedly, she was waiting for him in the hot tub. She watched him under hard eyes as he stripped out of his clothes and slowly sunk into the warm, roaring waters. He ignored the fruit and champagne as he swam towards her, arms wrapped around the woman he called his life partner.

She sighed in content against his lips, sitting in his lap with her legs around his waist. The way he held her close, it was desperate need of contact, for the grounding sensation to keep his head on straight. She would always be there for him. She’d been his rock for so long and she would continue to do so.

“Tell me you’ll be safe,” he whispered, despite how he knew she’d do everything in her effort to come home. This was a simple mission. In and out. Get the people in, on the jet, and to safety.

“You know I will be,” she whispered against his lips, cupping his cheek. “I promise you I will be safe and I won’t die out there. I won’t even scar.”

He smirked and nipped her lip at the teasing remark. “Not after last week you won’t,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “Much to your disappointment.”

“It only means you can stop treating me like a glass doll. And that I’m thankful the serum worked on me too.”

“Good,” Steve sighed, pressing a kiss to her temple and resting his head on her chest. “Because my world will shatter if I lost you, Pegs.”

“Then don’t plan to ever lose me.”

Tip Jar

#Steggy #StevePeggy #Steggy Prompt #WS Bucky #Nonny Prompt #Barney Barton #ThorBruce #TonyStrange #Iron Strange #Mobster Steggy #Mob Boss Steggy #Its not what you wanted #But I weirldy love it

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bob-dude · 5 years ago

Text

Some Orange Jerk’s Hazbin thoughts, the longer version.

As I mentioned in a prior post, I thought the pilot was so-so. Don't hate it with a capital H but find everyone's love for this show to be... odd. Though considering the late 2000s Devinart vibe I get from the show’s art style, probably not too odd now that I think about it. So here’s my longer, more rambly, thoughts on Hazbin Hotel by some rando Orange Jerk on Tumblr. And as always, more power to ya if you do love it, obviously.

Art direction wise, I’m just not crazy about Viv’s color choice. The red and black and pinks give a Valintine’s day meets Wonderland Queen of Hearts vibe that just doesn't personally work for me on a visual level.

As for hell itself, I thought the background stuff like ‘Radio Hack’ and the main city being named Pentagram to be... eh? Like, that’s the kind of world-building we’re going with here? It felt less like Hell and more like a city with the trapings of Hell, at least for me.

So, main cast, the trio as it were. Eh. Meh. Like, Charlie is a Disney Princess of Hell... even though no one treats her as one respect wise which just strikes me as odd from a background perspective. And Charlie has that standard Disney nativity going on... even though she was born and raised in Hell? Like, why bother to make your most optimistic and native character a denizen of hell if she’s not going to look or act the part personality wise?

The reason the personality thing confuses me I guess, is that take Charlie out of Hell and we’ve seen her character a thousand times before: The bubbly sweet optimistic girl that’s been done so many times before. Is the ‘But in Hell!’ aspect really that much of a grabber for people? Guess it is and more power to em but it just strikes me as a strange creative choice where once again a character's personality doesn’t logically flow from their background.

Design-wise Charile is fine, red tux reminds me of the God from the 1977 Oh God movie so that gets a thumbs up in my book. Still a bit weird that a princess is wearing it but it makes sense with the Hotel set up and all so her outfit has a logic to it.

Then we have Vaggie. So, legit question here people: If you went into the pilot blind and Angle Dust didn’t make his ‘taco’ comment would you have ANY idea that Vaggie is supposed to be Latina? Because I legitimately had no idea that was what her design was supposed to say about her as a charchter. Also didn’t really get a moth vibe from her, either if I’m honest. As for her personality, she’s the standard ‘loving supportive’ GF but with an angry side protective side for Charile... and she’s a Latinia/Latinix. Does... Does no one else think that’s just a bit... off? Making the one clearly marked Latinia character the ‘angry girlfriend’ archetype?

Also, that weird pink X eye patch bugged the hell out of me when I was watching. Totally petty as shit nitpick, but I had to vent on that bit. Honestly, though Vaggie is also Meh? Like, she’s in a relationship with Charlie, cool and all but she just doesn’t strike me as a terribly interesting character if I’m honest. Gives me a sort of Lisa Simpson ‘stick-in-the-mud’ vibe.

And then we have Angle Dust. You know, in the words of Netflix’s Big Mouth, “Sassy and Gay” isn’t a personality. Angle Dust basically has that sort of ‘2000s Yaoi OC’ vibe and considering Vive once had a DA character sheet where she literally listed his personality is ‘Bitch’... Yeah.

Also, as I’ve said elsewhere, Viv and crew are doing too much with this guy. So he’s an ex mobster killed by his homophobic father in the 1920s (not mentioned in the pilot but it is a pilot in all fairness so you can’t throw all your cards on the table). And he’s a Spider Demon... even though per Word of Viv how everyone’s designed in hell doesn’t have anything to do with how they died on Earth (then why deign them that way?). And he’s a porn star (being ex Mob shouldn’t he be the one paying for porn stars as a power domination sort of thing?). AND he’s going for a Beetlejuice meets CJ from Regular Show sort of design.

It just seems a bit much, imo. Like, you could make him just a gay ex mob who mostly uses a Tommy Gun and design him to fit that and leave the Spider-Demon stuff out and it becomes a lot more manageable. Something like a simplified Zoot Suit, or the like. You could keep the sexual humor but throw it a bit more 1920s slang and pop culture references for characterization/comedy purposes (Vaggie, for example, has no idea what he’s talking about most of the time). Granted, I’d personally rather they ditch the ‘animal bits slapped on’ aspects of the designs as a whole but that, as always is just me.

For the record, I’m not ‘offended’ by Angle Dust as a character concept, I’m just not wowed or impressed, ultimately.

And then we have Alastor. Now, I LOVE Alastor as a character. He’s got that classic ‘reality warper’ vibe ala Bill Cipher or Discord but with a 1920s radio show host twist that I just think is amazing and the sound distortion they added to his voice was a really cool touch on top of it all. The problem, as always, comes more with the color choice. One one of your own characters can’t take someone seriously because they look like a ‘strawberry pimp’ that might be the time to maybe go with a different color pallet? Like, idk, maybe throw in some warm browns and brass golds to involve the 1920s radio vibe stronger? Radios of the 20s and 30s weren’t famous for being red, is what I’m getting at.

The other problem with Alastor is that he’s too strong a personality, ironically. He comes in at the tail end of the pilot and basically steals whatever interest a potential audience member (or at least fat orange jerks like me) might have had in Charlie's plight. It's like introducing Bill Cipher in the first episode of Gravity Falls. At that point whatever interest you might have had in the MC goes out the window and you think ‘what’s this dudes deal and can the show be about them instead please?’ Sure, Alastor in all of his pesudo deer (Those don’t look like horns in my opinion but whatever you say Viv) is fun to watch but he drowns out Charile through sheer force of charisma and showmen ship. Maybe the series itself will fix this but for the pilot at least I think it’s an issue.

Also, Nifty is Nifty and she needs her own spin-off ASAP. That is all.

Husk is literally Avocato from Final Space with wings and some gambling bits thrown in design-wise. That’s literally all I think of Husk, sorry Husk fans :(

The animation is good, but I do find it ironic that as much as people like the bitch about SU being off model, Hazbin I thought suffered from so many different animators tackling different scenes that it just felt jarring going from one scene to the next due to the difference in style and the shifts in animation pacing. Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of it looks great but that switch in animators kinda just took me out of the experience in places. Well, that and the lack of proper scene transitions. Those are what also made the pilot feel like whiplash for me.

And now comes to Bob’s thoughts on the plot of the pilot and this is where the logical holes of the series start to get to me just a bit.

So. Charlie wants to reform the demons of hell of their sins so they can get to heaven and Hell can lower its population and angles down come down and deliver some righteous furry smiting on their asses. Okay. Stupid question but what the hell is Charlie basing this off of? I mean, was AD really THAT good an actor that Charlie thought going full steam ahead on the Hotel idea was the next reasonable step up?

Like, the Hotel was clearly a mess and her staff is literally just her and Vaggie and MAYBe Angel Dust. Even if the episode had ended with a horde of demons lining up to get into heaven by way of cleaning up their acts there’s no way two, three people could handle that (Or, you know, six if we throw in Nifty and Husk in fairness now that I think about it).

And that’s ultimately the thing with the pilot, the demons are assholes as you’d expect the citizens of hell to be but if they are assholes... why should we care if they get redeemed or not when not one of them is clearly interested in the idea? As cheesy as it would have been, the pilot ending with a horde of demons wanting to give this ‘become better’ thing a shot would have at least left the pilot on a better note to end on. As it is it just seems like Charlie is doomed to fail because no one but her gives a shit or belives about her idea for the Hotel and we have no proof that her idea will even work. Which just makes me wonder: Why should I care if no one else does?

Ultimately, the show has potential but the art style and aspects of the writing just don’t click for me. The show doesn’t say ‘adult’ to me so much as it does 'Hot Topic Teen trying to be adult' which works for a lot of people but for me I think Hellevua Boss as more potential concept-wise. And has scenes on Earth which do the red and black and pink and white colors of the demons a lot better visual justice contrast wise but that’s just me.

#hazbin hotel #sorry hazbin fans #your show is flawed and has room for improvement

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bratdroid-blog · 6 years ago

Text

The love story of the century, in cinemas now.

@paradoxidolatry

Coco

> You have the smuggest smug smile to ever smug on your face as you start singing for your boyfriend.

"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

I'm half crazy all for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two."

Carro

> You are blushing ear to ear, and though you've got your mouth covered with the heel of your hand, you are grinning widely and earnestly. You laugh, a bit breathlessly.

"Hal..."

Coco

> Aw yeah, that's what you lose to see. You were already feeling extra soft after last night, filled with Anime, sentimental moments and soft touches. A good reminder of why exactly you do love this man despite all his flaws.

> You quickly pull him into a embrace, and press a sweet little kiss on his face.

"So, what do you say, Daisy?"

Carro

> You are, by all counts, a big man. Not the biggest, no, especially in this city of meaty mobsters and bodybuilders, but you know you're fairly tall and well-built for a regular ass human. But that doesn't stop you from feeling so small right in this moment, arms wrapped around Hal, just. Absolutely lit up like a Christmas tree.

> You're still grinning.

"You... are you serious....?"

Coco

"I don't sing Daisy Bell for just anyone, dude. Told you: It's always been just you. I won't ever sing it for anyone else."

> You just wanted to tease him but... The moment seems just a bit too perfect to back out now. This isn't something you had ever expected or calculated but that alone makes it worth it. The unknown is exciting when you get to take the jump with your lover.

> Weird. Were you always THIS gay?

Carro

> You are....for lack of better word, speechless. Your mouth flaps uselessly and soundlessly for a few moments, floundering for something intelligent and witty to say, and you come up painfully, awkwardly short.

> But you do find some words, and those words have a strange, exciting shape: "...Fuck it. Yeah. Yeah, sure, yes, let's. I'd love to... I. Yes, Hal."

Coco

> Just watching him struggle to form a sentence is already enough of a reward but the words that do end up leaving his mouth? Make you wish you had a heart to skip a beat.

> Once again it's a blessing that you can kiss him deeply and talk at the same time.

"Then let's do it, Daisy Bell. You're going to be mine forever, and I'll be yours."

Carro

> You laugh again against his lips and you throw all of yourself into that kiss. You feel 17 again--light and excited and hopeful for the future to come.

"No one else's."

> Shit, are you crying? You sniff and lean back to swipe at your eyes. Fuck, you've been doing this weaksauce shit a lot lately. Goddamn you, Hal--reminding you that you, in fact, still have a heart. You take a moment to step away and breathe, fan yourself off a bit, but you're still grinning.

"Well, fuck, alright, so this is happening. How's it happening? When? We gonna do a whole ass white wedding or?"

Coco

> This is all you ever wanted for him, and if a silly human tradition is what it takes to have him feel that again, you will gladly go along with it. You don't think either of you has ever so much as seriously thought about marriage, let alone considered getting married yourself but damn. If not him, who else? You give him his moment, but the smile on you face doesn't die for a second. Your eyes may be artificial creations but the love in your gaze is as real as it can be. It's always been all for him.

"Well...Don't have a ring right or anything for you babe, but I was thinking we should do something more permanent anyways. You're into tattoos yeah?"

You had considered that one for a while at least, if not in the context of god damn marriage.

"Right now, is what I want to say but I'm afraid my papers aren't official quite yet. That means I have time to get the prettiest damn wedding dress this shit moon has ever seen though, so there's that."

Carro

> A tattoo wedding band. Well, shit goddamn. If that ain't just the best idea you've ever heard. He's already given you a nice scar to mark you by. Why not a tattoo?

"Fuck yeah... Fuck yeah, aight, we can do a tattoo. Maybe engrave your finger or somethin'... get a ring to slow in it later, but just like, something to always have around that can't get lost."

God, what is this feeling? Is this the human emotion called marriage? Aaaand then there's the papers.

"Shit, that's right... How long's that supposed to take, anyway?"

Coco

"That's exactly what I was going to suggest. Let's do this shit. You got a tattoo shop of choice who will take us on today?"

> You are literally buzzing with excitement. This joke got real fast but you are not complaining.

"I'm gonna beg the Queen for this shit, dude. Bitch is a major sucker for this gay shit, I think we have good chances at getting this. About...Sec. About 80%. Messaging her as we speak."

Carro

"Might be able to find someone, but if not, y'know... I trusted you with a scalpel, I think I can trusts you with inking me up."

> You might also literally be buzzing with excitement, and then your jaw drops.

"You're- seriously? The Queen? Right now?"

Coco

"Aw babe... Sure, I can do it if you got the equipment."

> That's even better actually. You haven't done this before, but with the power of internet tutorials? No biggie.

"Fuck yeah I am. Look, we're both not great with authority and whatever, but she runs this damn gay ass moon and she adores me. Might as well use that to get my gay on. right?"

Carro

"Sure do. I'll dig it up after the uh, the wedding I guess."

> You laugh, and you nod, and then you... you exhale deeply, scrubbing your face with your hands as the depth of what's happening slams into you.

"Holy fuck, we're getting married. For real. Tonight."

Coco

"Fuck yeah we are. She said yes. Gotta get our asses to the courthouse asap, dude."

> Yeah, you really are vibrating with excitement. You are running too hot already, but not to the point where you are going to fry your brain for good. Just the good, gay warmth.

> You couldn't possibly resist pulling him close for another deep kiss.

"God. I love you so much, you piece of shit. How dare you do this to me."

> That about sums up your relationship, yeah.

Carro

> And now you're back out of your intense spiral with a laugh and a kiss. You hug him tight and you kiss him again and again until you are utterly breathless.

"Cuz I fuckin love you with every little ... gay-ass bit of my heart, you motherfucker. I can't fuckin believe us, goddamn U-haul gays. 'Hey, long time no see, you wanna move in and get hitched, maybe?'"

Coco

"You said it yourself, we've already been an old married couple before I got this sweet bod of mine. It's only right to make it official, yeah?"

> God, you can hardly believe this yourself. Best stupid decision that started as a joke you made in your whole damn life though.

"Can't wait to start my new life as an official, real ass person by marrying you. Seems fitting. You are stuck with me forever now."

Carro

> You lean in and touch your forehead to his, staring deep into those beautiful fuckin robo eyes.

"There's nobody I'd rather be stuck with."

Coco

"That's fucking gay, dude."

> And you love it, so much. Your hands cup his face, itching to be as close as possible.

"Not gay if it's with a robot, right?"

Carro

> You smile somewhat bashfully at Hal and you shrug lightly.

"...Might still be pretty gay, even with a robot."

Coco

> Oh wow. Is that what it takes to make Dirk Strider finally fucking realize he is indeed, fucking gay? Just a little gay marriage, huh? You said you wouldn't push it though, so you don't.

"Glad I get to be your gay robot exception, dude. Couldn't be happier."

Carro

> You're glad he doesn't push it; you're still gonna be struggling with that one for a while, but... But this? This is good. Great, even. Perfect, actually.

> You kiss him again, and don't let up for a long time, before murmuring,

"Gotta get dressed and get going, I guess. Gonna go pick up Sock along the way. Is Dave... here? We gonna have to pick him up too?"

Coco

> You could spend another few hours kissing him, but you will have plenty of time for that after he becomes your husband. What a weird thought that is. Has you smiling all over again. Seems like your face is stuck like that for now.

"Shit, I don't have any formal clothes dude. How embarrassing is that?"

> Not that you really give a flying fuck over getting married in your usual clothes.

"Yeah, here's hoping he'll be ready in under an hour."

Carro

"Haha, I don't think I've got my good shit out and ready... You can, uh... borrow some of mine, if you want, though? I mean, shit, you could just go naked and I'd be happy."

> You, though, are already stripping off your BIG MILK t-shirt and looking for a clean, half-decent button-up.

"He better be. We got twenty minutes before Sock's ready to pick up."

Coco

"You think all of Derse is ready for my beautiful bod, though?"

That's really the main reason you even bother with clothes at all when you leave the house. Looking at least a bit more normal. Not that you exactly care for anyone's opinion, just makes shit easier.

"Sure, that's romantic right? Boyfriend style is in yeah? Or husband in this case."

Carro

A shudder runs visible through you and your turn a grin back at Hal.

"Say that again."

Coco

"Nu uh. Not yet, my dude. Gotta earn the H word first."

Carro

"Awww, c'mon."

You laugh and then you rummage through your closet until you find a dark red button up for Hal, with silvery white pinstripes.

"Just once."

Coco

> Aw it's your color. He does care. That earns him a quick peck on the lips.

"Fine. You are my motherfucking husbando, Dirk. Better than any fucking anime guy, even Android 17."

Carro

"Shit goddamn. Even Android 17, for real? I must be special."

> You wink and then toss on an orange shit and a black jacket and slacks, before fishing out a matching pair for Hal.

"Does that also make you the husbando? Or is one of us the waifu?"

Coco

"I mean, i ain't giving up on my figures of him for you, but yeah. I'm choosing you over my anime boyfriend."

> That's love bitch.

> This is actually yet another first for you, first time putting on a suit. That shit's not rocket science though.

"A family can be two husbandos and their two baby brothers, who are also dating. Y'know. That sounds exactly like an anime plot actually."

> Thank god that you are not living in an anime, or this shit would be way weird.

Carro

> Jokes on you, life is the ultimate anime.

> But you laugh and you get yourself sorted out, throwing a white tie around your neck but not quite tying it yet. You turn to Hal and look to see if he needs any help...but mostly? You're just staring at him, in awe and full of warm, gay, fuzzy-ass dokis.

"Guess you've got a point there. Life with the Striders is my favorite fuckin anime this season."

Coco

> You have never tied a tie in your life, but you tie his like you've never done anything else in your life. You are a quick learner after all.

"Yeah same..Hey babe?"

> There's never been as good of a moment to get gay. You continue your song from earlier, just for him.

"We will go tandem as man and husbando

Daisy, Daisy

Peddling our way down the road of life

I and my daisy bell

When the roads dark we can both despise

Policemen and the lamps as well

There are bright lights in those dazzling eyes

Of beautiful daisy bell"

> Naturally a song from 1892 did not in fact include the word husbando, but sometimes you just gotta get creative.(edited)

Carro

> Ohhhhh, Hal, you fucker, you've done it now.

> There are actual, real tears running down your face, and you're stuck halfway between mopping them up, and just covering your face, and you really can't decide what to do with your hands, so you instead place them on Hal's hips instead of anywhere near the vicinity of you. You're laughing, and you lean in to kiss him again.

> If you could, you'd never stop kissing him.

> Also you can't believe a song from 1892 is your song, but hey you wouldn't have it any other way. Except maybe a hip-hop cover of the song, down the road.

"I love you."

Coco

"Love you too, Daisy Bell."

> You gladly kiss him again as you gently wipe some of those tears again. God, look at the two of you, getting all sorts of gay in fucking record time. You both really needed this for a long ass time, didn't you?

> You are far too happy to ruin this by psychoanalyzing everything about it, not in this very moment at least.

#ooc #logs #paradoxidolatry

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beatconductor-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Coco 👑Yesterday at 8:32 PM

You open your eyes with a loud groan. What the fuck kind of shit did you take last night? This is the worst hangover ever. Or did you finally die and this is hell? Whatever it is, it's bullshit.

The room comes into focus and you realize that no, you're not dead, you're safe in the hideout and sadly very much alive, just fucked up. And there's someone next to your bed too.

"Heeeeey...!" Good speech skills.

rootyYesterday at 8:38 PM

And that someone is Droog.

Actually nope, that someone is you. Droog let you know that Sock is stable and should hopefully, hopefully wake up soon. So you choose to wait in the room with him like the gay you are.

You aren't quite sure how long you've waited, because you may or may not have slipped off into a nap again. Maybe five minutes, maybe two hours. But Sock moving and and talking pulls you out of sleep and turns you (almost) wide awake.

"Uh, h-hey. What's up man you look like shit." Nailed it.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 8:58 PM

"Really? Weird because I feel like I could start marathons right now." Badum-tsh.

"Can...Can you give me my glasses? Can't even see your worried face all properly and shit."

rootyYesterday at 9:04 PM

"What's my face to you. You gay or what?" It's never a bad time for some friendly mockery. You do get him his glasses off the nearby table or something though.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 9:09 PM

"Can't a dude appreciate your fucking face without being gay? No homo, it's just a nice sight alright." You put on your glasses and immediately change your mind. "You look like shit too. Fuck do I look even worse than you?"

rootyYesterday at 9:12 PM

"Dunno, you wanna find out? We can ask Mr. D if you want." You still give him a weak smirk, tired, but relieved that he's awake and probably, hopefully, getting better

Coco 👑Yesterday at 9:16 PM

"Maybe later." You make grabby hands at Dave. It's not gay if you wanna hold hands when you're all kinds of fucked up right?

rootyYesterday at 9:24 PM

The grabby hands confuse you just for a moment. Does he want, what, a hug? Well, sure, not like you're gonna turn down the request of a half-dead bird. And when you start having second-thoughts and worry about being awkward, you're already too commited to the movement to stop without it becoming even more awkward. And hey, you kinda really want that hug.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 9:32 PM

Not what you meant but you gladly take the hug. You try to hold Dave as tight as you can which is not very tight at all and an incredibly stupid idea when you have just been shot in the stomach. You groan in pain but you also don't let go. No fuck this, you want this damn hug.

rootyYesterday at 10:10 PM

Oh no, it hurts doesn't it? This was a stupid idea, Dave, dammit. But he's not letting go so... You just try to shift away from where you remember the bullet wound to be. Eventually, the position gets a little uncomfortable though and you have to pull away anyway.

"Geez man... if you plan to get shot you can at least tell me alright. I won't judge you."

Coco 👑Yesterday at 10:17 PM

No don't go! That's where you decide fuck it and just take his hand. So what if it's gay? You are in pain, you get to be gay.

"Sorry, I'll shoot you a message before I pull you into my kinky bullshit next time." You sigh. "But seriously...I'm. I'm sorry you saw that and for uh..You know before and. Thanks for saving my ass."

Suddenly starring at your own gay hand is much easier than looking at him.

rootyYesterday at 10:21 PM

It's very gay, and you're very alright with it. After having to fear you might actually lose him.... Now, that was gay.

You vaguely remember Sock wanted to meet you to talk with you about stuff, but you aren't sure if that is at all relevant anymore, or the right time to mention.

"What was even the problem of these asshats?" Should you mention that you killed two of them? Oh right, you killed two of them, welp, shit. Repression is a wonderful thing.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 10:29 PM

"Said that this is their turf now. Something about Mobster Kingping? Guess I ain't selling anywhere near there for a while." Not that you'd exactly want to.

"What uh...What happened after y'know... I got shot? It's.. A bit fuzzy. You're not hurt right?" Please don't be. That actually makes you look up again a worried expression on your face. He doesn't look okay, but not really physically hurt either at least.

rootyYesterday at 10:31 PM

"Nah, I'm as chill as always. Even better, even." Look, you're trying your best here. And please stop that awful, worried face.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 10:40 PM

Frown. You really don't believe that at all, but pushing probably won't do shit will it? It's probably better to save some angst for later anyways. Talking about angst. "Sorry for giving you a scare... Guess I gotta up my training again, that was pitiful..."

rootyYesterday at 10:43 PM

"I mean, training won't save you in every situation. But this city's dangerous... I've been sparring on and off with the big clown if you wanna go bold. Or you know, you could try it with me." You're not feeling much like it though, to be honest. Maybe because the only training methods you know are the brute force ways of your Bro.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 10:51 PM

Funny that, your Bro just happens to be exactly why you are not too big on that idea along with a nice old dose of losing most of your muscle mass to years of being captured by Scratch. Fun!

"Yeah..Maybe." To say you look defeated would be nice. You are so fucking tired of everything. You just keep fucking up everything for everyone don't you?

rootyYesterday at 11:01 PM

Oh. Oh man, seeing him like this hurts. Everything sucks and you don't know what to do. All your usual deflection tactics are out of the question. "I'm glad you made it.."

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:07 PM

"Really?" You don't really want to be a depressed self loathing piece of shit but fuck. This is a good time to hide your face with your shitty bird hands so he at least won't have to see that. Fuck.

rootyYesterday at 11:24 PM

"Really. I'm.. I'm glad I made it. In time, I mean. Well, kind of. I know sooner would've been better, but-" No, stop, bad Dave. You sigh and nudge his ass away a little so you can sit next to him on the bed and embrace him. "I mean, hey, if you ever need some bodyguards, I can recommend you some."

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:28 PM

You open your mouth to say something along the lines of maybe later would have been so you are no one's problem anymore but then he's already next to you and fuck it. That's not going to do shit is it?

Now burying your face in Dave's shoulder though? That's actually nice, so you go for that. "Are you the bodyguard? Because I'd like that."

rootyYesterday at 11:38 PM

"I mean I'm not gonna say no for the right price." You pull him a little closer and put your own head on his.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:40 PM

"How much? I'm afraid I can only pay with my body, hospital bills and all."

rootyYesterday at 11:42 PM

"That should do for now. Maybe Droog can pay up for the rest."

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:43 PM

"You offering some extra services too?"

rootyYesterday at 11:49 PM

"Anytime you want, babe. Dude. Dudebabe."

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:50 PM

"Mmmm...Can this dudebabe request a kissy kiss and his bodyguard to lie down with him then?"

rootyYesterday at 11:53 PM

You inhale, ready to get on your usual accusations and protests of gaydom, but. That was the deal. And you gladly yield and give him a 'kissy kiss', then get comfy with him.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:58 PM

That's all you really need to slowly drift off again, a small smile on your face. Everything's a fuck but hey, it's bearable like this.

#logs

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2-for-a-penny · 6 years ago

Text

A Name or an Apartment Number- Chapter 1

This is my first fic so please be gentle with the criticism. I’m just a smol child that wants to write about her gay children.

Includes: JackxDavey, Newsbians, SpotxRacer, ElmerxAlbert, SpecsxRomeo, and some other assorted pairs

Rated: M for the fact that I might attempt to write some “steamy” stuff. It will not be good though.

Archive

Masterlist

CHAPTER 1

A sudden crash caused Jack to whip his head to the source of the sound. His eyes focused on a group of kids staring at the ground, with one lone child rushing to clean up the spill. Jack casually walked over to the child and the spill. The kid was frantically grabbing paper towels, attempting to wipe up the mess. Jack bent down to eye level of the panicking kid.

“Matthew.” Jack said soothingly. “Matthew, it’s okay buddy. Spills happen. No need to panic little guy.” Jack smiled reassuringly to him.

“Let me help you.” He gently took the paper towel roll, and began to wipe up the paint that had splattered across the tile floor. He swiftly cleaned up the mess and helped the child back to his seat. As he did, the bell rang for the group to leave the class.

“See you next week guys!” Jack called to them. He smiled as he walked around the tables, collecting the materials they had used that day. Jack hummed quietly to himself, as he pursued his task.

Working with kids was something Jack always knew he wanted to do. Being around little kids all the time at Medda’s theater, made him feel like a mentor. It just felt right to be with them, teaching them. After he discovered his aptitude for art, he was convinced he was going to be an art teacher. Here he was now, 26 and living his dream, teaching elementary school kids to love art. He was content with his life, and was scanning the artwork they had created as he heard a cough by the door.

“Jack,” He turned to see Sarah Jacobs, his principal, in the doorway. Sarah was sweet, she was also quite scary when she wanted to be, which was great considering she was a principal. Sarah was also dating his ex girlfriend, Katherine. They had been together senior year of high school, but the flame quickly died out as they realized things about themselves. First, that all they ever did when they were together, was fight. And second, that both of them were queer as hell. This led to the swift ending of their relationship, but allowed a strong friendship to form between the two.

“What’s up Sarah?” He grinned as he leaned against the small art table, getting paint on his arm in the process.

“It’s Ms. Jacob in school Jack.” She stated sternly, but with a smile playing on her lips. “Anyways,” she began. “I need a favor from you.” She strolled into the room, and sat down at his desk with a ‘plop’.

“Anything for a lovely girl like yourself” Jack replied. She shot him an angry look, but let out a small laugh.

“My brother,” She casually stated as she leaned back in his chair, to prop her heeled feet up on a nearby stool. “He’s going to start teaching here.” Jack cocked his head as his brows furrowed in confusion.

“And this has what to do with me?” Jack questioned her.

“Patience child.” Sarah said looking playfully offended. “My brother is going to start teaching here next week, and I want you to help him out a bit. You know?” She looked at Jack hopefully. He rolled his eyes at her puppy dog begging and crossed his arms.

“Come on Sarah.” He replied with a roll of his eyes. “A grown man doesn’t need me to “help him out” around an elementary school. It’s pretty easy to figure out.”

Sarah sighed dramatically as she kicked her feet off the stool so she could lean forward on the small wooden desk.

“You really have to make everything as hard as possible don’t you Kelly.” She sighed again and explained further. “My brother is quite shy. I don’t expect him to make friends with any other teachers any time soon. And contrary to popular belief, you are actually decently easy to talk to, and get along with. I think that if you became friends, it would make his transition easier. So can you stop being a pompous ass for long enough to be nice to him?” She gave him a stern stare and quirked one eyebrow up, daring him to not agree to her wishes.

“Fine!” He groaned as he wiped his face with his palms. “I’ll help your stupid brother, just get out of my classroom.”

“I knew you’d see it my way!” She smiled cheerfully as she rose from the desk, and went to pat him on the shoulder.

“Really, Jack, thank you. He’s really going to appreciate this.” She headed for the doorway, then turned back to Jack before she left. “I’ll introduce you guys on Monday, have a good weekend.” She turned away but called over her shoulder, “By the way, you have paint all over your shirt.” With that she was gone.

Jack looked down to his shirt, that was now splattered with a range of colors due to the paint on his arm.“Damn it.” He muttered under his breath, as he wiped the remaining paint from his arm. His shirt was now stained. It was one of his favorites too, a simple white Henley. Oh well, another ruined shirt. Tis’ the life of an artist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack pulled open the door to his apartment building. He was thinking over what Sarah had said. He really didn’t want to try and be buddy buddy with her brother. He didn’t really have the time, nor did he want to put in the effort. He was friendly with his coworkers, but they weren’t exactly his type of people. They were all too formal with each other, and made the most mundane jokes. Jack would much rather spend time with his real friends. The crazy guys that he has spent his whole life with.

His mind was in his thoughts as he approached the wall of mailboxes in the lobby of his apartment building. He absent mindedly put the key in the lock of his box and opened it to grab the mail. He flipped through the different letters, mostly junk mail. He saw a few bills, utilities, phone, the usual. He cursed under his breath and began to open one until he heard a small laugh come from beside him.

He looked up from the mail and caught the eyes of another man standing a few boxes away. He was smiling at Jack and gesturing to the mail in his hand.

“Bills? Or threatening letters from your mother about how you are acting in the big city? Or is it maybe a death threat? Who did you manage to piss off? The mob? Does the mob send threats by snail mail anymore?” The man spouted out his theories with a bright smile and a laugh. But it wasn’t just his smile that Jack noticed. The man was tall and well built. He wasn’t a bodybuilder, but you could tell he worked out and took care of his body. His muscular arms were propped up against the wall, causing his shirt to stretch and emphasize his biceps. His dark hair fell slightly into his eyes, and framed is sharp, angular face. His bright smile was paired with a set of twinkling green eyes. Jack felt as if he could get lost in them for hours.

Jack was jolted from his thoughts at the sound of the man speaking. “So which is it then? Do I need to be watching the door in case any mobsters try to walk in here with a baseball bat?” He questioned Jack.

Jack finally gathered his thoughts enough to respond to the question he was being asked. “Oh, haha, no.” He rubbed his neck awkwardly and shifted his weight. “Just some bills, you know. The usual.” He smiled, tried to keep from looking at the man. Shuffling the mail in his hands, messing with his key. He glanced back up to meet his eyes, the other man was just watching with a soft smile.

“Well,” The man pushed himself off of the mailboxes and put the mail in his hand into a neat stack. “I gotta go, stuff to do” He began to walk away as Jack got the sense to speak.

“Wait.” Jack turned to the man as he was preparing to walk out the door. “I’ve never seen you before. Did you just move in or something?” Getting over his initial shock, he finally felt like he had control of himself as he flashed the man his signature smirk, and crossed his arms over his chest casually. “Because I know I would remember someone like you.”

The man smiled and color began to creep onto his cheeks. “Moved in yesterday. I’m new to the area.” He pushed the door open and moved to walk out.

“Maybe I could show you around sometime?” Jack said almost more like a statement than a question.

“Maybe you can. See you around.” The man walked out the door and let it shut behind him. Jack smiled to himself and began to walk to the elevator before he realized. He never got the man’s name or which apartment he was in! He wasn’t paying enough attention to see which box he got his mail from, so that was a lost cause. A great opportunity missed by a name, or an apartment number.

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themariotheme · 4 years ago

Text

okay under the cut..... is my dumb lil skeleton for my story based on the lyrics for frankie by alexandra savior..... read if u wish..... i haven't read or written in ages..... the last time i tried to read was yesterday and it was the plague by camus and i only got 2 pages in before i got distracted (because of the brainrot? let's blame it on that)

written 04.04.2021

Why am I latching onto this idea that I will surely not carry out to completion? I don’t know maybe ‘cause I nearly called myself Frankie instead of Alex. Jamie and Jordan and Max were on the table too.

This story would work even if it weren’t gay, Frankie could be whoever. They could even just be friends but where else will I get my subverted bury-your-gays trope? I’ll have to read books and I haven’t Read in ages, I don’t have brain cells.

Anna-Marie Mirage is an actress, but more like modern day Marilyn Monroe than Audrey Hepburn. She's not respected enough.

She’s dating an actor named Dean. He’s a Clint Eastwood/James Dean/Humphrey Bogart type, he plays the Cool Hero Guy in movies. He’s been in mobster films, sci fi movies, westerns, etc.

He’s kind of an asshole. Anna-Marie thinks he’s cheating on her.

The second act consists of Anna-Marie and Dean’s fights, and then her meeting Frankie.

Frankie is someone who is also in the industry, maybe not an actress, but maybe someone industry adjacent. Frankie and Anna-Marie get together. Maybe Anna-Marie asks for help from Frankie to find out info about the people Dean is cheating on her with.

The parallel stories mirror the occurring events, but they take place in universes from Dean's movies, so a western setting, in the mafia, and in space, but the story gets subverted so Dean, who would be the 'hero' in those stories typically, 'loses'.

The mafia one, Anna-Marie ends up hiring a hit on Dean and Frankie is the mercenary.

The sci-fi one, Dean dies by his own stupidity.

The western one, I think maybe Anna-Marie poisons him.

Anna-Marie still steps in and solves whatever conflict the hero was meant to solve.

In the main story, Anna-Marie stays with Frankie behind Dean’s back, more empowered in herself and then the ending could be left ambiguous-ish? Or Anna-Marie dumps his ass and roasts the fuck out of him with all the info Frankie helped her get on his cheating ass as she leaves.

(everything below was my attempt at Getting The Damn Story Started which didn't go anywhere)

As far as careers went, being a Hollywood actress comes with it’s fair share of pros and cons. Nevertheless, Anna-Marie couldn’t complain. Not publicly, anyway. It was all she could do to keep a smile on her face while her (male) costars shook hands and won awards for performances that were (worth less than?) half of what she could have done in those roles.

Even privately, though, she felt entitled for the resentment she held for the industry she chose to work in. She had been in films and worked with incredible people, people she respected. For all intents and purposes, she had “made it”. But the artist in her longed for actual roles. Not for lack of trying, but every character she had played was never the lead, it never her story. It wasn’t bitterness or the want for the spotlight, though, that drove her mad, she had no qualms about playing a secondary character. It was the lack of depth. Her characters' involvement in the story was almost always inconsequential, superficial. She was the sexy lamp. And it infuriated her.

There wasn’t any way not to sound cocky about it, but Anna-Marie knew she was a good actress. She was sure of her skill, but the opportunity to really become involved in a movie had yet to present itself, it seemed at points to be just out of reach, like her fingertips were grazing the side of it but it slipped by her tauntingly.

probably overexplaining my dumb thought process about the lyrics and story and thus making it uninteresting below:

[Verse 1]:

Babe, you got your villains' car//You got your sleeves rolled up//Anatomical heart

(Dean, mafia movie)

Babe, got your ten-gallon hat

(Dean, western)

Cinnamon toothpick//Lightning flash

(cinnamon toothpicks were popular in the 50s, so mafia movie?)

[Verse 2]:

Babe, you got your destiny//You've got your fingers crossed//You've got me so intrigued

Babe, you've got to make me come...//Back to your Battle Star//We better run along

(Dean, sci fi)

[Pre-Chorus]:

You got falling stars at your feet//

You got stolen from next to me

And the moment's gone back to sleep//

You got stolen from next to me

(cheating)

[Chorus]:

Say you gotta go//To a place I don't know

(cheating)

Well the ace in the hole//Is I've got a friend called Frankie

(in the "literal" story, Frankie has her intel on Dean's cheating ass, in the mafia story, Frankie would be her merc, not sure abt the other ones yet, but having Frankie could be Anna Marie's smoking gun, because Dean isn't the only one she has)

[Bridge]:

Submit to me//Your fantasy

And I'll endlessly//Maintain it...

(this one for if she gets back with him, playing along and "maintaining his fantasy" but actually having power in the relationship now) (but also like. she would end up dumping him anyway)

#ch's #personal #my writing #alexandra savior

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singingpuddle · 7 years ago

Text

My commentary whilst watching Buzzfeedblue’s “The Captive Spirits Of Eastern State Penitentiary”

You would think I would have finished the Commentary on part 2 of “3 Horrifying Cases”. But no, so... here we are.

Warning:

1. I ship them, if you don’t that’s cool with me.

2. This post is super long

3. I long for the day I no longer have to cross out the boy in boyfriend when it comes to these two. this will be abundantly clear by the amount of times i do

4. After a little bit i will stop putting full names, so just know.

5.I recommend watching the video along with or before going through this post, because if you haven’t seen it you will be lost.

R=Ryan and S=Shane

****************************************************************************************************

Me: I see you and your matching outfits.

R: We are not wearing matching outfits.

Me: From where im standing it seems like you are.

R: Well, we arent.

Me: We shall see...

****************************************************************************************************

R: See, not matching.

Me: Okay, yeah. Shane... did you get a haircut just for this?

S: Maybe...

Me: and is that shirt... freshly ironed?

S: Maybe...

Me: Is this a... date?

S: May-

R: No.

Me: But I remember you saying you always wanted to go there.

R: Yeah and?

Me: I dont know man... Sounds like a date to me.

R: Its not.

Me & S: sure...

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for cinematography)

(+one for matching outfits)

R: THEY ARE NOT MATCHING OUTFITS.

S: You do realize she ids now doing it for the sole purpose of annoying you. Also our jackets do kinda match.

R: *Long suffering sigh*

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for cinematography)

(+1 for matching outfits)

R: I give up.

Me: Good, because im probab;ly going to be commenting on the matching Heterosexual Beige™ jackets alot.

R: Wait... if there Heterosexual Beige™ then how is it gay?

Me: I never said it was gay...

S: But it is gay... because theyre matching

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Oh shit... Ass-Bat™ gon come for ya asses

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Domesticity™

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ok... sound like a solid plan. Where did they fuck up?

****************************************************************************************************

Me: ああ、そですか。

Me: So when they said solitude, the ment “total and utter isolation form the outside world” not “go in this cell and think about what youve done”.

Me: So that’s how they fucked up.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: look my dude, I look ugly as shit when im at the gym, so this sounds nice.

R: Wait... this place sounds nice to you.

Me: Oh hell no. this place is shady as shit. I was just saying i hate people seeing me work out.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: ... Rye...

R: What?

Me: You steal Shane's food?

S: Of course he does hes an asshole.

Me: Oh?

S: He is also my Ghoulfriend™ thus he belives he has the right to.

Me: You gave him the title, not me man.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Damn, I guess you could say they where... in the dark about everything.

R: *laughing* Oh, shut up.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Dango Bro.. you better only be putting murderers in there.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: A++ boyfriending there my bro.

S: What did I do?

Me: Its not about what you have done yet, its about what i think your going to do.

S: That’s not fair.

Me: We’ll see.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: As I was saying Shane, A++ boyfriending there my dude.

S: Come on Ari, Its solitary, thus you must experience it alone. Plus You know i’ll go in right after.

Me: and leave him alone in the creepy penitentiary. S: Yeah?

Me: *coughs* A++

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Okay... Nah. Fuck dat shit. Who let this happen?

Me: Probably not in those exact words, or in a shitty Australian accent, but yeah.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Look at Ryan’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s accent.

R: I’m not geeking.

Me: *looking Ryan right in the eyes* sure...

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Kinky? Okay... this isnt fun anymore. Imma take a break form this sadistically depressing shit and watch Animatics for some Jux de Postion.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: “ Sincerely, Me” from Dear Evan Hanson is a fucking Bop. (link here)

R: This is entirely off topic its not even the same video.

Me: Look, I need a break, you need a break, we all need a break. Plus my girlfriend got me into this stuff so... blame her.

S: Just let her do this, If People want to skip it they can.

R: Fine.

Me: Domesticity™

R: sHut uP

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Okie dokie. Im back.

R: Then lets get this show on the road.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Idk what you say this is Jigsaw’s Orgin story.

R: But you’ve never even seen it.

Me: Fight me Bergara, I dare you.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Look at Shane’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s Jigsaw impression.

S: Im not even gonna lie, It was kinda hot cool.

Me: You know hot and cool are antonyms right?

S: I didnt say hot.

Me: sure...

****************************************************************************************************

Me: What did I say Shane.

S: Ugh

Me: Welp, The Shookening�� begins.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ryan, You’re doing that stupid thing that gets people in horror movies killed... Please Refrain.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Oh shit Rye Bread, You and Shanesquatch are really in the thick of it now

****************************************************************************************************

Me: SHANE HEARD IT, WITH HIS OWN EARS. Boi... not that im not happy that your ghosty ventures are going well but... Leave before you die please.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Not to distract from the real topic here but, Shane.

S: Yeah.

Me: Might I say, you're looking mighty fine and kinda twinkish in this video.

S: Thanks.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: ... Did Shane just get possesed?

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Dont make fun of our brave boyo.

S: I wouldn't if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Shane.

S: Yes?

Me: There is a thin line between the “I wanna suck your dick” look and the “fuck you talkin bout” look.

S: Yeah?

Me: You are right on that line right now.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: I think Ghostie is done with your shit. Like he sounds like hes been thought this 100 to many times.

****************************************************************************************************

R: TAKE A FUCKING SIP BABES, Its a ghost.

S: Nah, idk man.

****************************************************************************************************

S: Crank it up baby!

Me: *starts thinking of the song twist and shout*

*starts thinking of the fan fiction twist and shout*

*having mild war flashbacks because i refused to finish it but know how it ends anyway*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: This Ghost is done with your shit, he stabbed a dude, let him be.

(+1 for shane looking like a twink)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: *Laughing my ass off* He is done with you. Just fuckin leave.

R: *Shook*

****************************************************************************************************

R: *Finds buttons in creepy haunted place* Imma just press these because nothing bad can happen if i do.

****************************************************************************************************

R: At this moment ou-

R: At this Moment our Audio recoder picked up- Wait

Me & R: *High-fiving viciously*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ryan Stop teasing your boyfriend.

R: I would if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Unpopular opinion but Al Capone has an adorably squishy looking face.

S: *Lauging* Now im just imagingin you walking up to Infamous Mobster Al Capone and squishing his cheeks

R: And Baby talking.

Me & S & R: *Indistinct baby talking*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: *Still baby talking* Whos a busy wittle mob boss? You are, Oh yes you are.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Not to shabby, its at least moderately survivable.

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for Shane calling Ryan Baby again)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Capone said no man, No means no.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ya’ll seem to not get the fact these ghosts are just through with your shit. Also its Al Capone, you don’t wanna fuck with him.

****************************************************************************************************

R: *Shook*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Boi.. He aint a fuckin child, he understands you. Now go away.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Yo Al is pissed bro, leave

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Booooiiii, leave.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Correction Al, darling, They are Hetrosexual Beige™. But Brown and white is a close enough answer for a ghost so, you win I guess.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: The Shaniacs are fucking QUAKING.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: They are gay as shit right Al.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Boi, i hear that sentence one more time in this fucking episode i’m flipping my shit.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: You okay Rye?

****************************************************************************************************

Me: The Glory Hole?

R: Nope just The Hole.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Shane, Its a eupamism. He wants your hole, or wants you in his hole... You get the idea.

****************************************************************************************************

S: Its a hole, what else can you do except hop right in.

Me: Boi, that’s gay.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Come on Ry, you know you don’t want Shane's head to smash.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Look at him Squat, Look at him gooooooooooo.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ryan “Worried Boyfriend” Bergara

****************************************************************************************************

Me: He is trying to comfort you, don’t be an ass.

R: But its hard.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Are you Possessed? Because the way you’re standing is making me uneasy.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: You have a Flashlight

****************************************************************************************************

Me: your eyes look interesting in night vision.

****************************************************************************************************

R: *Booping his way out this haunted ass shit*

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for cinematography)

****************************************************************************************************

This long ass post brought to you by:

This

Link to video here

Link to Masterpost here

#buzzfeed #buzzfeedblue #buzzfeed unsolved #UNSOLVED MYSTERIES #ryan bergara #ryan x shane #shane madej #shyan

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the-nysh · 8 years ago

Text

Opm dub: complete English OVA commentary (with links)

Oh man! I’ve been waiting for AGES to finally see these in English, ever since seeing the subs for them way back. My main incentive to compare how gay the translations are, and I can certainly say, I’ve not been disappointed! 8D

Below are my thoughts and impressions from each one, complete with links and a transcription of fun quotes I enjoyed! Have fun!

OVA1: The Shadow that snuck up too close

Saitama, to himself: “Man, I gotta admit, stalkers really are scary. Come to think of it, lately I’ve been feeling eyes on me from somewhere too. … It’s no big deal if it’s just someone with a grudge. But… if that anger turned into some kind of warped love or twisted infatuation the way it did in that movie, then…how should I handle it?” (Look at this, he’s ok being hated; he can handle physical confrontations, but emotional things like love and stuff frighten him! Ahh Saitama, just how will you deal with Genos’ type of attention?! 8D)

Genos: “Perhaps the secret to his power lies in his food. ... No normal person would dream of such behavior, therefore…” (Genos pls, there’s nothing special in Saitama’s trip to the diner, his diet, or his choice in food; the egg is just poor! Genos simply cannot fathom these conditions otherwise. Grasping at straws, yet doesn’t understand the most simple explanation. Important to note, this demonstrates how he couldn’t put two-and-two together to purposely bribe Saitama later with rent money (offering rent is simply proper boarding manners instead) as he doesn’t understand how tight Saitama’s finances are. Plus, once Genos writes off this superfluous ‘food’ explanation for Saitama’s power, it also writes off the ‘Saitama eats monster parts for power’ fan theory too.)

Saitama: “Thieving bastard! I’m so gonna catch you and kick your ass!” (GAWD I’m dying over these NERDS trying to out-stalk each other. XD)

Genos: “…DAMN! It IS just a french fry!” (overdramatic no indoor voice borg) “He has a normal diet; it is no different from an average person’s. I have not discovered a single thing. Is it possible that Master could be a cyborg like me? I have considered the data, just one thing left to do.” (CONFRONT HIM IN PERSON MY GUY. Also, his hope that Saitama could be like him. :’3)

Saitama, to the so-called monster/‘thief’: “COME AT ME STRAIGHT!” (LOL, the dramatic irony here how they’re indirectly talking to/about each other)

Saitama’s internal monologue: “If I continue being a hero, I’m sure this won’t be last time someone’s out for revenge against me. That’s my fate; it can’t be avoided I guess. I just need to change how I think. Right! I need to think positively! I simply have to believe there’ll be people in this world who appreciate what I do. People who’ll know that I’m there to help. I became a hero 3 years ago. I’m not saying I need fans or anything, but it’d be nice if someone noticed all the things I’ve been doing around here. …Oh yeah! There was that one guy who wanted to be my disciple.” (He REMEMBERED Genos! Thinking of things positively from now on too, thank god! :’D)

Genos: “Investigation day 5. I have prepared myself for the worst. *deep breath* Sensei, sir!” Saitama: “You actually showed up.” (Gawd, Genos taking that huge pause, mentally preparing himself to confront Saitama directly. Including preparing his whole backstory speech at ready too. But man, he doesn’t want to screw this up or upset Saitama from all this. :’D)

Summary: Man I love the dramatic irony in this ova. And how in the beginning, it was all dark in trepidation, with Saitama scared of a 'warped love, twisted infatuation' stalker, but in the end...he wants to think positively of what may come, and thinks of Genos :')))) (boy does he have a storm coming!)

OVA2: The Disciple who stinks at storytelling

The mafia guy…refers to the giraffe keychain as 'these babies' GAWD I’m already dying. “This little giraffe must mean a lot to you!” FFFFF!!! And HOW! 8D Genos: “Yes. It is extremely important.” BOIIII

THE BATH SCENE: full script I posted here. Gggnnghh, Saitama TRYING to get Genos to say how the water feels good: “How was it for you?” GAWD! Just trying to get Genos to relax (like in the drama cd), and Genos not quite understanding that and shifting the convo to a pitch singing match instead. Saitama’s “aww, c’mon really?” like with a fond, ‘oh man what am I gonna do with him’ smile, and then playing along anyway. :’))) Genos’ “that is the note for mi!” in english sounds so much like ‘me,’ like Saitama had delivered HIM the special note he requested! THESE DORKS!! 8’D Messing around together in a public bath house! (where that other old guy can totally witness their unabashed antics!)

*Saitama noticing Genos staring and standing awkwardly close to him while naked on the massage chair* S: “Uhh…you can take off without me, you know. *gives keys* Wouldn’t want you to get a chill after your bath. But hey, don’t lose those, ok? These are crazy times we’re living in. Losing your keys will only lead to trouble.” Saitama pls, Genos can’t catch a chill. XD But look at that, the egg worried for his safety/wellbeing anyway, as he gives him permission to leave ahead of him. ;D Seriously, those double-take side glances of his at Genos standing so expectantly next to his side! Like goodness, egg would like some space pls. XD But also, Genos takes Saitama’s key offering and instructions to protect it super seriously too. (he never changes the position of his arm while carrying it!)

*flash to present* G: “THAT is how important the key is to me.” Don: “Your stories are terrible. ‘Faah’-get about it! Nobody cares about any of this crap!” (lol, the audience does tho ;D) G: “Your ‘Fa’ should be higher; ‘Fa~’ see?” (HOLY SHIT what an ass! XD) Don: “Unghh!!” G: “In any case, the key is important and I would like it back now. Surely you have…one or two things that are important to you.” Don: “My Family means everything to me! I’d do just about anything for’ em!” G: “I see, then you understand how I would do anything for Master Saitama.” (!!!!!!!!!! The important, classic declaration line, delivered like this! :’D)

*flashback* S: “So you decided to wait around after all? It’s so cold, too.” *sneezes* G: “Are you ok, Master?!” S: *shivers* “It’s freezing out. The chill’s gettin to me.” G: *glances at his head* S: “Uh – were you just checkin out my head?” G: “No! I would never.” GAAHH! It’s so gay!! I can’t handle this. :’D Like, OF COURSE Genos wouldn’t leave Saitama alone there! Previously Saitama was worried Genos might catch a chill, but HE catches one instead! And Genos showing his open concern for him! Glancing at his head like mentally correlating his baldness with greater heat loss too (get him a hat, Genos!) Saitama noticing that detail and using the flirty, ‘checkin out’ language, GAH! Plus Genos’ BLATANT LIES. FFFFF!!!

S: *imitating Genos* “DINNER TARGET AQUIRED~!” With that super quick facial change, and Genos staring at him the whole time! 8D

G: *extremely close death glare at the store employee* “It is only 2 seconds past the posted time. Will you please make an exception? You still have the merchandise!” *seething and clenching his fist* “The attitude of that employee. Have you any idea how I felt?! IT WAS WRONG!!” (absolute, no chill drama borg throwing an emotional fit here)

*Genos continues to ramble on, with the Don getting pissed and annoyed at him to get to the fucking point already* G: “Be patient. There is an order to the series of events in question.” (this was the ‘words come from the heart’ line from the fan translations) *comes to the conclusion that they’re complete strangers with zero connection* Don: “You mean you’ve been running your mouth since the moment we got here, just so you could tell me you’ve met him on the street today for the first time?!” G: “You did ask. There, I told you everything. Now give me back the keys as you promised you would.” Don: “SMARTASS PUNK!” (and later: “YOU FOOL! How stupid can someone possibly be!?”) Genos plsss… Like, it’s adorable how naïve and straight-laced he is, expecting proper honest procedure from typical law-abiding citizens…however, these mobster guys are anything but! (and yet he doesn’t even recognize or expect they’re criminals at first) And him simply rambling about his complete bath story with his sensei to complete strangers!! His enthusiasm and priorities, man! X’D

*flash to the REAL present* G: “And finally after all that, I was able to get the key back. But unfortunately, I missed the sale.” S: “Well…I had a spare key so in the end it was no big deal. But it sounds like you had a lot to contend with, didn’t cha?” G: “Master, I must apologize to you. I am too incompetent to run your errands!” S: “Nah~! It’s no big deal! We’ll just have a tofu hotpot tonight.” (he’s really warm here :3) G: “This will not make up for it…” S: “Hm?” G: “But here, *offers special bag* I went by another store.” S: “Huh? NO WAY! That’s some super expensive meat you brought home!” (he’s super happy!)

S: “Good thing we had some eggs, it’s sukiyaki time! Let’s dig in!” (the egg mentions eggs, heh) G: “RIGHT!” (HE is so happy now too!!)

Summary: So GOSH, this entire ova can be summed up with a ‘GENOS PLS’ and ‘these total gay, hopeless dorks!’ X’D Also, the end scene reveals Genos had told Saitama this entire convoluted story too, but UNLIKE the Don, Saitama patiently listens to the whole thing without complaint! Even warmly reassuring Genos’ distress that everything’s fine. :’3 And yep, Genos humbly offers him the expensive meat in apology (as the best alternative he could find, as in his fool mind, best=most expensive), and Saitama is so HAPPY to receive something he would never normally get! Both of them, enjoying a fancy hotpot together. :’D Bless <333

OVA3: The overly complicated ninja (Sonic’s special)

Sonic’s epically horrible dream about getting punched in the dick by Saitama. Stranger: “Everything ok? I heard you moaning up there!” (WORD CHOICE, man! XD) “You kept calling out ‘Saitama…Saitama.’”

Sonic fukkin carves a detailed face of the egg into a tree… He’s eternally haunted by phantoms of an evil Saitama always ending their encounters by punching him in the dick!! c h r i s t ‘Why’ indeed! ‘Psychological trauma,’ as the old hunter says it is. :P

Sonic: “Fine then, I’ll admit it, Saitama. When I sensed your power, I was afraid!” Ahh, I like how he confronts his weakness. And is determined to overcome it! Training to control and accept his fear! 8D (and gaining a cute little boar friend for support~) Interesting of note to me, how he’s AFRAID of Saitama’s power. How many other people would be as well? When in contrast, people like Genos, would never be afraid of Saitama.

The hunter’s name…is revealed to be FRANK. Omg dub team, pls.

Sonic: “Hey, Hunter. If you’re defeated before you fight, the results will be the same, no matter how often you try.” And this is neat. How someone could be defeated mentally before even trying. :’) Much truth in these words.

Saitama *randomly pops out of nowhere* “Oh. A bear.” (HIS FACE I CAN’T!) Inadvertently saving the hunter while on the prowl, omg. Settling for the bear for dinner, as the baby boar ran away in fear recognizing his face from Sonic’s wood carvings. XD

*Together, at home* G: “So is this what you would call a ‘bear hotpot,’ Master?” S: “Yeah, you heard those rumors about the giant bear causing all that damage right? *snarfs a bite with blushing cheeks* YUM~” G: “You mean, you can really eat them?” S: “Sure, you can eat most any animal.” G: *takes out notes* “I see!” S: “Oh, a-and I hear wild boar is pretty good too.” G: “I LEARN SO MUCH FROM YOU, MASTER!” (omg, genos pls! this is becoming an ongoing gag line, to have him finish their convos with this level of enthusiasm! XD Also how wary he’d been eyeing the bear food, ahaha.)

OVA4: Bang, who is too overbearing (The excessively pushy Bang)

Bang: “Hm? Genos? Why are they together? Wait, come to think of it *recalls Genos yelling ‘Master!’ during the meteor* Could this be a teacher-student situation? But their rankings are Class S and Class C! So what’s going on?” (WHAT indeed! 8D Also, ‘situation’ changed from ‘relationship’ as in the fansubs)

*At the scene of the dead cabbage monster* S: “What should we have for dinner? I think we’ve got some cabbage left.” G: “Cabbage alone will not be enough. Shall I purchase some meat, Master?” S: “Ugh, what am I supposed to do with you, Genos? (OMG) Now listen! Don’t underestimate cabbage! Stir fried in yakiniku sauce goes great with rice.” G: “Ah! I see, so preparation is what truly dictates the results. Even a powerful weapon can be junk in the hands of the incompetent. Tell me; is that the lesson, Master?!” S: “Uh, I wouldn’t go that far.” G: “YOU TEACH ME SO MUCH, MASTER!” S: “Uaah, all your talk about meat made me wanna eat some! Great, way ta go, man.” Wah! This perspective has them inspired from the monster to eat their cabbage leftovers, rather than say, harvesting ingredients from the monster (no collecting monster parts here). :P Also omfg, but is this whole convo a callback to the second ova? About Genos purchasing meat again (Saitama like ‘oh no you won’t again!’) and indirectly calling himself incompetent (like junk?!) again!? (for failing against the meteor this time) Like GEEZ, the toaster is so hard on himself. :’) But, Saitama there telling him not to go that far. :’D And how casually/fondly Saitama speaks with him now (‘What am I supposed to do with you? Way ta go, man.’) Such good interactions!

Bang, to himself: “Up close he appears to be nothing more than an ordinary guy. Genos looks superior in every way, yet Saitama is guiding him. In terms of Association ranking, Genos is placed much higher, but if Saitama’s mastered a fighting style that surpasses rankings, it’s a different story.” (hohoho, how this summarizes so much! That classic ONE disconnect between appearance, rank and expectations there too) S: “What’s with the weird old guy? He’s gone all quiet.” G: “He is eccentric. Many are like that in Class S.” (Pfft, like…yourself, Genos? ;D And goddammit! Indirectly rude to his face too! XD Well actually, BOTH these dorks are rude to him, hah. They just fukkin get up and leave him – after Saitama asks Genos if he’s ready to go, together.) Bang: “That must mean this Saitama is an all-around outstanding teacher.” (huehue)

Bang: “How ‘bout this, why not stop by my dojo sometime? Might be interesting, what do ya say?” S: “Uh…nah I-I’m good.” G: “Master Saitama is a very busy man.” Bang: “C’mon, don’t be like that. Here, this is the address for my dojo. I’ll be there all day tomorrow.” G: “Did you not hear what I said?! Master is–” S: “Allllright, old man. See ya tomorrow.” G: “Uh! MASTER!” (Heh, Genos trying to defend Saitama, and YET! The ‘yoink’ from Saitama totally surprising him. XD Overprotective toaster, man.)

*later* G: “I thought for certain you were going to stop by the dojo.” S: “Well uh, I’ve learned old dudes like that can be persistent. Humoring them then blowing ‘em off is the only way to avoid big headaches.” Bang: “...He’s so very vulnerable and inexperienced.” *Saitama immediately dives in front of a truck* G: *gawking shock* “!!!! MASTER!!” S: “Thought it was a cat, but it was just a stupid plastic bag. And now all that delicious meat we bought has been run over by a truck and ruined.” OH MANNN!! Although I do prefer the prolonged yell of ‘SENSEIIIII~!!’ in Japanese, Genos is STILL stunned into overprotective shock for Saitama’s safety here. PLS, he JUST witnessed Saitama punch out a meteor! And YET he cannot help this protective instinct when the person he cares about appears *in danger*! XD Does Saitama’s normally ‘soft’ egg face make him appear ‘vulnerable’ to him too, as it does for Bang?!

Bang: (internally: “This changes all of my mental simulations.”) “You two look like you’re in need of some nourishment!” (OMG, this word choice! XD) S: *audibly scoffs* Bang: “Back at my dojo, I have some premium meat that the Martial Arts Association sent over.” (ooh they mentioned this detail here) S: “Ah! What a coincidence! I happen to have a bottle of yakiniku sauce! Where is your dojo?” (ahaha his projected heroic voice!)

Saitama, behind Bang’s introductions: “Ughh, this is such a pain in the ass…” Omg, him audibly complaining and annoyed already, he just wants the meat and to go home!

G: *finished clattering on phone* “Master, I will do it.” S: “You understand all the rules?” G: “I do. The explanation took too long, so I just looked them up.” Genos pls, you’re one to talk!! YOUR explanations take forever too! XD GAWD, these dorks I swear.

S: “All right then! The next hit wins, come get some!!” Omg, Saitama’s so into the game. XD Spirited, competitive and totally a sore loser about it too, buahaha!

Bang: “Maybe now you understand that you’ve had a match. Especially you, Saitama. Before you knew it, you enjoyed taking part in the competition. Otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten so serious. … Martial arts are appealing in this way, a way that you can never get from fighting and physical combat.” G: *with arms raised in the same attentive position as Charanko’s* “He has a point; Master was getting serious.” Ohoho, Genos is super interested the moment Bang says the game enticed Saitama to get serious. Interested in whatever can do THAT to his sensei!

Charanko calls him Bang-sensei! 8D (and not ‘Master’ like Genos)

S: “Whatever, let’s go one more round and finish this! I’m STARVING!” (HAH, Saitama pls!) G: “Master, shall I play you next?” (whoa, there!) S: “Uh-what? Why?” OMG Genos pls. X’D Heh, probably because he wants to challenge and see Saitama get serious against him this time. Like a sparring match of a different kind! ;D

Summary: AHHHHH, gosh!! Pretty much the whole ova was absolute gold, with plenty of prime interactions! (I had to refrain from transcribing every conversation XD) What a riot and so much fun!

OVA5: The sisters with too much going on

LILY!!! And FUBUKI!!! 8D Their voices! Ahhhh <3 ‘Gentle tomboyish’ is how I can best describe Lily’s voice. :P Also notably, the group calls Fubuki, ‘Miss Blizzard.’

Genos, internally: *introduces all the formal info for Fubuki* “But why is she…? Allergies, maybe?” (GENOS PLS, she is crying you fool!) THE LINE: “They are crabs. Crabs for my Master!” (EXACTLY LIKE IN THE SUBS I’M CRYING) Fubuki, internally: ??? “Uuhh, Isn’t this guy from Class S?” (She is horribly confused for their first ever line spoken together! XD Doesn’t even KNOW who his ‘Master’ is too!)

Genos, immediately with no chill or indoor voice: “EVERYONE, EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY! I have been informed there is a bomb on this train! PLEASE HEAD TOWARDS THE EXITS, TIME IS- *suddenly realizes* DAMMIT, they cannot! There is no way for them to escape!” (THIS FOOOOL I CAN’T HANDLE HIM HOLY SHIT X’D)

Genos, to Fubuki: “What is it? You cannot handle it without your underlings?” (HOLY SHIT THIS ASSHOLE xD He doesn’t approve of her style of heroics with rookie crushing, and doesn’t hide the disdain in his voice at all!) Fubuki: “No, I just don’t appreciate being ordered around, ok!?” (Heh, their interactions are off to a great start. :P)

The little Class C hero girl! Swim-chan, ahhh! Blushing in Fubkui’s presence. ;D Fubuki: “Shut up and get it together! All that whining’s not gonna change anything! Calm down and prepare yourself.” :’)))) Fubuki, doubly hard on herself while she lectures the girl (girl still blushing getting ordered around, heh). Speaking from experience and her OWN issues with inadequacy compared to her sister. Ahhh, my girl. <3

Genos, with extreme strained grunting holding the front of the ramming train: “YES!” (LOL, does this remind you of anything? ;D) Tatsumaki: “Outta the way~!”

Waaah, Fubuki responds to her sister’s quip, ‘why didn’t you just get off of that thing?’ with a ‘none of your business, is it?’ :’)))) Fubuki still has her PRIDE and sense of duty, man!! Aughh! She’s so upset her sister smothered her attempt to shine all over again! Can really feel sentimental for her. <3

Swim-chan comes to personally thank and express her gratitude to Fubuki for saving her. :’) Expressing her ongoing doubts of even continuing to be a hero (Fubuki can totally relate, always being in her sister’s shadow), but has gained renewed inspiration and strength from Fubuki today! :’DD Ahhh, so good! Both of them, uplifting each other to never give up!

*Naked, at the LAB* Genos: “Dr. Kuseno. Beyond strength, speed, range. I now know there is another type of power I lack.” Kuseno: “Well this is quite sudden. What is it?” Genos: *intense close up* “SUPERNATURAL.” Kuseno: *turns away* “I’m sorry to say my technology can’t help you with something like that.” Genos: *visibly distraught and pouting* Kuseno: “Must’ve been quite the formidable enemy you were fighting. Tell me, what happened?” Genos: *sulking* “…I utterly failed at shopping! *walks away* If only I possessed supernatural powers, the crabs would not have exploded as they did!” Kuseno: “The poor boy must be tired~” - Saitama, waiting for Genos to come home for dinner: “Sure taking his time, what gives?”

UAHHH!!! This boy I swear!! X’D And poor Kuseno too, totally used to this ‘poor boy’ always running with no chill (and his ridiculous requests). :’D Genos pls….Saitama has all the chill, patiently waiting for you to just come home!

OVA 6: The murder case that was too impossible (The far too impossible case of murder)

Immediately, Child Emperor’s voice, and soon enough, Lightspeed Flash’s voice too! “The answer to that is none of your business.” He sounds…posh and manly, heh. Meanwhile, Saitama and Genos are sitting side by side together in the water, minding their own business. :P

Zombieman’s voice?! It’s kinda…higher than expected. :O Like a young, nasally goody guy? Tank Top Master’s voice too…pretty deep.

PPP: “What a waste of a beautiful boy!!” (omg lol, plus the actor does his lines well btw)

Genos, literally fighting with a child to defend Saitama’s honor: “Hold on. Are you implying that Master Saitama is a suspect?” Child Emperor: *to Saitama* “Well, maybe not with that face.” (OMG no!!! X’D) Genos: “Listen to me! Even if My Master wanted to destroy Zombieman, he would not need weapons, a single punch would– *realizes, internally* Wait a second, if Master wanted to test the validity of Zombieman’s immortality, he might have used a weapon to go easy on him. Unfortunately, that would make sense.” Saitama: *notices Genos staring at him* “Hm?” Genos: *secretly to him* “Easy, Master. Do not worry. I will defend you at your trial.” Saitama: “I! DID NOT! DO IT!” (HOOOOO, it’s the ‘perjury for my sensei’ line! Classic. X’D)

King’s voice!! It’s like, deep and oily? Very ahh, distinct. Totally would not expect considering how his real character is like. Also his ‘King Engine’ here is a literal drum beat! (and not a heartbeat like how it is in the main anime eps)

Tatsumaki: “I know Zombieman doesn’t die when he gets killed!” (HAAAH referencing the ‘people die when they are killed’ meme, I can’t believe this XD) Zombieman: “Honestly it doesn’t bother me. This stuff happens all the time when you drink.” (HE’S SO CHILL OMG WTF. Treating getting stabbed like casual everyday shenanigans. :P) Everyone: “WHAT?!” Saitama: “Nuh-uh. Not at all.” (dude, exactly XD)

*Saitama and Genos, walking home in the sunset together* Saitama: “It was her, huh? The little brat caused all that trouble. You know, you gotta wonder why she’d do something so crazy.” Genos, internally: “…Unfortunately, that is likely your fault, Master.” *flashback* Tatsumaki: *offering Genos her drink* “I’m done~ Here. I just don’t like drinking, it tastes gross.” Saitama: *takes it away from Genos, scolding* “Of course you don’t like doing that! You’re still just a little kid! Stop trying to act so much like an adult, alright? You shouldn’t be drinking to begin with. Little kids should just have orange juice or something!” Tatsumaki: “WHAT!? Listen you–” Saitama: “I’ll go order one for you right now.” Genos, current time, internally: “Tornado’s pride got hurt, so in an act of retaliation, she forced herself to drink more, despite its flavor.” Saitama, beaming: “I gotta say, Genos! That hot spring sure felt great, didn’t it?!” Genos: “YES, MASTER!”

Ahaha! X’D Saitama can only view Tatsumaki as a child! And Genos, withholding such details from Saitama, while making sense of the whole fiasco for the audience. In any case, it’s great to see both our dorks HAPPY, side by side together. :’D

Overall, VERY enjoyable and especially so to see how faithful the dub team kept to their characters, never holding back on the gay at all, either! ;D (what a blessing!) Recommended for anyone to see the ovas again, in this fresh, alternative perspective! (special thanks to @dolltrash-etc for providing me with the links to study these, and showing me bits of her limited dvd release booklet! <333)

#opm #saigenos #english dub #commentary #I HAVE FINISHED AND PROVIDED LINKS WITHIN! 8D #this got way in depth omfg but i have no chill ESPECIALLY with content of our beloved dorks X3

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