#stupid christian bullshit holiday

[cinisekha]

christmas has always sucked, change my mind.

[gaymurdersalad]

[ Hello everypony! Don’t mind the ritual robes. Dress for the job you want, ya know? And all I want to do is serve our lord and savior Godred!

I thought as a fun little thing to do in between sacrifices, I would give out some headcanons— well. These are my guys, are they headcanons? Not really. Uhm, facts, I guess— on how they do their holidays! Take ‘em or leave em, you’ll soon find I love rambling about the guys. You might regret this.

———

Peter and Caroline used to do the whole Catholicism thing, so they definitely did celebrate a good Christmas! However after the whole “disappearing for several years and coming back with a phone for a head” thing that Peter did, all faith in God was lost, but they still like to give eachother presents. The star on top of the tree is a grim reminder of a lordless plane. Except for the almighty Godred, mind you!

Steven sits alone in his restaurant with vague feelings of something or other. The establishment doesn’t even close— because why would it, it’s a Fazbender’s— so he has plenty of time to sit in an empty restaurant and think about nothing. Peter has invited him to Christmas but quoteth Steven, “That sounds great and all, but I’ve actually got my own plans.” Of which are trying to remember what the fuck a “Christmas” is and why it has any value to people other than market value. If it piques your interest at all, him and his boyfriend semi-celebrated but not really, as Steven was raised Christian {LONG since abandoned} and his boyfriend was Muslim. That’s all gone now, though, unbeknownst to the phone-man in question.

Dee spends time with the souls in the Flipside. She enjoys it very much, despite the grimness of it all. Even though she would much rather being alive and spending time with her family, she knows she has responsibilities.

Henry works. On stuff. He’s just sitting in his office right now, I could totally waltz in there and sacrifice him to Godred. Just pick that bastard up and get goin’. Oh, he’d be kicking and screaming, but he’s a midget with small hands and can’t do nothin’ against an ethereal phone creature with a complete and utter devotion to almighty Godred... Maybe after this.

Oscar doesn’t celebrate Christmas, and actually hates it. Finds every bit of Christmas decor annoying to his astigmatism and just grating anyways. Oh, fucking shit, the jingle bells never stop. Everything is annoying. He cannot enter his beloved coffee shop— Fazbucks; it’s like Starbucks but they don’t donate to stupid bullshit! The CEOs just spend the money on bribing health inspectors throughout Fazbender chains! What? No, no, they still pay their workers in faztokens— without being utterly assaulted by MIRIAH. Even if Christmas wasn’t annoying, he wouldn’t celebrate it anyways, because he’s Jewish. So is his family! Where the hell is his family? Where does— Where the hell does Oscar live, does he have a house? I- I’m realizing I didn’t get to know him that much, I think he just… Showed up here. You- Uhh, you get the point.

Dave has a ritual and has been performing this ritual for three years straight. First, he wakes up in the dumpster of the week, gets dressed, and climbs out of that disgusting sucker. Normal morning routine ensues, Y’know, he takes a couple random pills for the hangover and pops a thing of LSD if he’s feelin’ chipper, shaves with a switchblade he usually finds in the Fazbender Ballpits, and sets out onto the world. Since it is a special day— not in accordance to any religion, but to his own fucked up morals and values— he breaks into a liquor store and takes what he pleases! All assortments of liquors and cigarettes, and he stuffs them all into a duffel he usually manages to scavenge for beforehand. Once he’s a proper Santa Claus with a bag of stolen substances slung over his shoulder, he jacks a piece of shit car— he figures he’s doin’ them a favor, ‘cause who would want to own this shit box anyway?— and drives 90 to the Old Sport residence. Once he arrives, parking his car in the yard and fucking up the grass with those giant fucking tire tracks, Jesus Christ, Sportsy’s gonna have to fix that, he stomps up to the door with the duffel and knocks fifteen times with the palm of his giant fucking hand. If Sportsy don’t answer, more knocking ensues, probably followed by several obscenities and slurs. Eventually, Old Sport opens the door, and before the stout fucker can beat him with the baseball bat he stole from a bar in Las Vegas, Dave slips in and throws the bag down on the floor. Sportsy, after experiencing this for the past couple years, holds his head in his hands and groans. Loudly. Dave wraps Old Sport in this big hug, pickin’ him up off the ground all while Sportsy frowns in discontent. They spend the rest of the evening sitting on the couch boozing and watching shitty Christmas specials, and Dave crashes on Sportsy’s couch at 8 PM.

Until the arrival of Dave, Jack sits in bed. Don’t even bother to put on makeup. In the back of his head he kind of knows that the wretched purple beast will show up at his house, but he maintains a little hope that he won’t. He always does. He supposes it’s nice to have a day where Dave isn’t spending a day with him solely to recruit him into the whole kid-killing business again, but… Man, when the liquor hits, he realizes just how sad it is that his only consistent friend is a child murderer. Fuck. Once Dave crashes, Jack is usually stuck underneath him as some sort of pillow, and at this point, he’s so burnt out and sad and happy and bitter that he just lays there. Watching those shitty Christmas movies. He’s going to wake up with the worst headache tomorrow.

Legacy does not do anything special and David stopped trying to a while ago. Business carries on as usual. Maybe David would like to go out and do something or have Legacy sit still for one measly second so he could give him some kind of gift, but knowing the Orange Bastard, he’d likely reject it or throw it out. Maybe spending time with Legacy is a gift in of itself, David thinks, incorrectly.

———

Was that everyone? There are so many of the guys! Good lord, half of them are maniacs too. I couldn’t be prouder!

Well, I’ve got some sacrificin’ to do! Goodbye! Remember: Godred Loves You! ]

~ Mod Chribs

[thetiethatvines]

okay not that i’m not excited about the holidays or whatever (i’m not) but also full of distaste about how this time of the year is when people want to start talking about my dad to me, for some reason. nostalgia? remembering that he liked apple pie? like we enter november and any random friend of my mom’s at the supermarket wants to tell me he’s in a better place and he’s happier now

oh, idk, cindy, i hope he’s not, but if he is, seems pretty shitty! he never got to meet his granddaughter and died doing something fairly fucking stupid, cindy! i don’t think you wanted to get into this in the canned salsa aisle, cindy, but we can talk about the christian understanding of heaven and how it’s bullshit next, if you want!

[little-klng]

look honestly the thing no one really thinks about with the content of the stupid wizard game (prof fig dies and rookwood cursed anne while framing the goblins btw) is that the game itself isnt transphobic beyond like... one single trans character having a dumb name. like, its not directly transphobic aside from the royalties going to jkr get put straight into trans eugenics legislation, but we already knew that and its not related to the games actual content or why it exists. it doesnt matter that the game sucks, that its buggy and barely functions, that it funds transphobia, it doesnt even necessarily matter that "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism" (not what that means and it doesnt even apply here). primarily it serves one function, pushing radf*ms (censored to avoid tags) further down the radicalization into alt right, qanon, and neonazi pipeline

the game is marketed mainly to transphobes who will throw whatever amount of money at the first thing some shitty childrens book author who fell off 10 years ago and currently floats her career and reputation on ragebait says will "own the libs/troons". while it doesnt contain any actual transphobia (just promising to fund it), the main message, themes, and story are explicitly pro slavery and antisemitic, and are designed to put you, the player, in the position of a "master race" that has "the right to own slaves" and the slaves "love being enslaved" except when "the hook nosed bank controlling elite" try to "convince" the slaves "to rebel against their masters" in an effort to "destroy and take control over the whi-[COUGH]wizard race". its just blanket coverage over every white supremacist and neonazi conspiracy belief and then gamifying it for the enjoyment of transphobes. and because jkr juices up her fandom on the ragebait so hard that she gets them hungry for whatever political statements shes gonna feed them next, they're just gonna eat that shit up because "troons mad"

we all already know transphobes are just conservatives with a stupid feminism hat, we already know their basis for hating trans people is one singular step away (and most of the time not even that) from white supremacist eugenics and phrenology. you take one single look at "transvestigators" and realize just how bad it really is with them and demanding exclusively eurocentric "pretty and femme" white standards of beauty to even be considered a passing cis woman, its not even subtle. this game doesnt actually have any of that, its just the end piece of the pipeline getting installed for turning transphobes into qanon neonazis, turning their hatred of trans people and trans activists (or basically just anyone who doesnt pass their specific idea of eurocentric traditional gender/sex) into hatred of anyone who isnt "pure" white and christian, which just feeds straight into the "master race/slave race/elite controller" ideology that nazism comes from. transphobes playing this game dont talk about the slavery or the weird way the plot centers around putting down a civil rights movement or the way it belittles "lesser races" for wanting "their worthless artefacts [sic] back" (goblins and their "horn for rallying troops and annoying wizards" with a wedge of cheese shoved in it to mute it, anyone? thats a shofar, which is a jewish rams horn trumpet used during high holidays)

"pureblood"/"mudblood" is already an established part of wizarding world lore as "pureblooded wizards" vs "nasty mixed-blooded wizards", which is already white supremacist anti-interracial bullshit that jkr fully and unironically roots for. this is the same woman that named her only black character "Kingsley Shackebolt" and wrote a slave race to actually love being enslaved and not mind seeing their taxidermied friends heads on the walls getting decorated with santa hats over the holidays. its not surprising that shes a nazi at all, and i feel like all the people who are (rightfully, dont get me wrong) talking about it funding transphobia are not giving the antisemitism/nazism/pro slavery portions of the content enough credit in making this game evolve from "shitty childrens media IP game that barely functions and would be irrelevant by next week" to "$60 ticket on the radf*m to slave cop nazi pipline that is steam+ps5's most preordered game of all time".

its to radf*ms and transphobes what tucker carlson is to your parents, and what rush limbaugh was to your grandparents, and what turning point usa is to your college frat siblings, and what ben shapiro is to your highschool debate team cousins. shitty content designed to make you mad and slowly melts your brain until you're a paranoid wretch that cant stop seeing The Elite Agenda(tm) everywhere you look until you're willing to drop thousands on donations to anyone and anything that promises to protect your freedom to say slurs on the internet and make teenagers kill themselves for being weird. its just not often that it skips a lot of the dogwhistling and just straight up gives you an escapist fantasy where you're a part of the aryan master race and those stupid pesky slaves keep asking for "freedoms" and "equality" because all those evil jews keep trying to tell them what they're missing out on by not genociding white people instead, and you get to violently murder as many as you want to preserve the status quo

tl;dr transphobia is hand-in-hand with alt right conservatism and nazism and this game is just one more stepping stone added to an already decently clear path between the two points. if you paid $60 for a game that barely works because "troons mad", your dignity is pathetically affordable and its no ones fault but yours that you're officially the type of person who would pay money for the ability to own your own slaves and kill jewish people the first chance you get. did you know nazis during the 1930s and 40s offered financial rewards to people turning people in to the government? just thought that was an interesting fact

btw dont reply to this post with some bullshit "well im gonna pirate it so its fine" or "you're just making it more popular by talking about it" im a tumblr blog with less than 1000 followers and its the #1 most preordered game on steam and the ps5 store, and if you insist on still playing master race slave owner simulator through piracy then its whatever, i can just put you with the hundreds of transphobes on my blocklist so you can get along and play together in a nice farm upstate and away from me

[catsnuggler]

Thoughts on my shift in the past few days. Long. //I//P//. Free Palestine, Freedom For All, Reject Discrimination. No contradiction between those statements.

I fell for /native/news/ bullshit because I fooled myself into believing racist bullshit. Essentially, I convinced myself, because they're Indigenous (or say they are), that whatever they had to say about this could not in any way be antisemitic. Surely, they must simply be a principled anti-colonialist, and nothing more. If they seem to be going too far, why, it isn't hatred for the Jewish people, it must simply be anti-colonial zeal from their own experiences, channeled toward another struggle.

And the Palestinians are struggling, let's be clear. They are struggling, and they are struggling and suffering under a colonialist force that doesn't respect their fundamental right to life and freedom in their own land, a force of the IDF, the Likud party and their parliamentary allies, of violent nationalist anti-Palestinian settlers, and, crucially, they are funded and supplied by Western Christians, primarily US evangelical Christians, the US military-industrial complex, and many US police forces. Let me be even clearer: Israel is a puppet of the US, and only continues to exist at the leisure of the US and its NATO allies. If it were politically expedient, and more profitable, for them to drop Israel like a sack of potatoes, that would happen in a hot second, because that state is not a partner of the US, not an ally, it is a tool of the US. This genocide against the Palestinians, though conducted by Israeli boots on the ground (not all Israelis, and Jews=\=Israelis, it's not one-to-one), is not simply permitted, but according to the design of the US.

Back to my main point, I was a fool to convince myself they couldn't be antisemitic. Indigenous people... are people. Shocking, I know /s. Unfortunately, that means they can also be antisemitic, like anyone can, and... when there was a shooting at a synagogue in the US, where the shooter yelled "Free Palestine!", and /native/news/ not only refused to address and condemn that act, but just kept posting shit like saying that lighting a menorah means you support genocide and colonialism in Palestine, and that until this stops, anyone who is Jewish is guilty by virtue of being Jewish and celebrating a holiday that commemorates their own historic resistance to imperialist invaders - how am I not supposed to conclude /native/news/ is not antisemitic? You don't have to support the state of Israel, you don't have to support genocide, to oppose discrimination and violence against innocent people on the basis of religion and ethnicity. Opposing genocide there, also means not trying to kick up a pogrom over here.

Besides my point about how I was, admittedly, just plain stupid to assume that /native/news/ couldn't be antisemitic because they're Indigenous... how do I even know that they are? Like that other person said, internet anonymity is a grand thing and a right, etc, but when /native/news doesn't even talk to people, just posts screenshots, doesn't show any sign of deeper personality, how do we even know this is a human? Or only one human? Or if they're Indigenous or not? I'm all for colonizers shutting up and listening to Indigenous people about their own colonization, and what to do about it, but that doesn't mean I need to listen to a robot or a cell of white Strasserists that say they're Indigenous telling me that the best way to support Palestinians is to drive out any and all Jews I see, as if they're powerful and bad people who can put the brakes on this with enough discrimination, instead of just regular people trying to live their lives who don't need damn gentiles like me hounding them yet again.

Anyway, I'm a Norse pagan, I was raised Mormon (and left it primarily for its two-for-one anti-Indigenous racism and antisemitism, among a host of reasons)... so I'm already afraid of being perceived as antisemitic, but even more so of actually being that way. I also have very good friends, who are horrified at the ongoing genocide and oppose the state of Israel, who are Jewish. They are also horrified at the rise in people blaming them for something they, themselves, have nothing to do with. Even supposed friends have said or shared these things... they have received no such hate from Palestinians, but gentiles, well, they've received a lot of betrayal from us; even from me, for a time, even though I didn't consciously do that, just didn't stop to think of the full implications of the sentiments I was sharing.

I'm not waffling. I was just confused, and I'm finding my way now. What I know is, I oppose colonialism, I support freedom for Palestinians, I support militant resistance to colonialism against military targets, I oppose collective punishment and targeting of civilians, and I believe people of all three major Abrahamic faiths*, and of all ethnicities, can share Palestine in peace, provided that reparations are made (and not skimped on), that there are no restrictions of anyone's movement, that nobody is a second-class citizen, and for goodness' sake, no more burning down the olive trees while claiming you want to "make the desert bloom". Of course, whatever state, or lack thereof, cannot be a puppet of the US, cannot rely on militarism, and all reactionary nationalism must be dispensed with.

*Of all faiths, I hope, but I figure most people who want to live there are going to be Muslims, Jews, and Christians, along with the Druze, Sufis, and other minor Abrahamic faiths. It's holy to them, after all. Me, I have nothing against the land, it's just not really relevant to me personally in the sense of being personally sacred, let alone enough to live there. It surely is a Holy Land, and I don't see it as lesser, but it isn't my Holy Land. I don't know if there really would be any kind of specific Holy Land for me, I'm just a confused kinda pagan fella. Anyway, I'm not proposing that any place in the world should only be populated by these or those specific religions, just acknowledging that most folks who will live here will be from this particular religious family.

[darkleysgarden]

Obey Me 25 Days of Ficmas 2022 Day 21: Don't be a Scrooge!

Ship: Dialuci

He couldn't believe the amount of bullshit being spewed at him.

What the fuck would compell Diavolo to celebrate Christmas!? Christmas! The celebration of Jesus, a man born to die for humans sins! They. Are. Demons. Demons are supposed to sin and cause humans to sin. Jesus went against everything they were for!

It just didn't make sense to celebrate a holiday clearly created for humans and angels. Diavolo was out of his mind.

Though, as pissed as he was, it was Diavolo. As his boyfriend, Lucifer knew more than anyone how kind the man was. He knew that Diavolo was only full of pure and good intentions.

Diavolo talked about how humans gained so much happiness and joy off the holiday, that he wanted that connection and togetherness in the Devildom as well. Lucifer understood, but it was stupid.

"Lord Diavolo," He spat, using his boyfriend's full title, "Don't mind me asking, but what the hell are you thinking!?"

Diavolo frowned," Come on, Lucifer. Don't be like this. The holiday celebrates love, family, happiness. I want the Devildom to have that too. I'm tired of all of my citizens being down in the dumps, depressed, and overall horrible people! I'm hoping that a celebration like Christmas will spread joy and love to more demons! Think about it."

"Pardon me," He took a deep breath, "Christmas is a celebration of Jesus's birth. We are demons. Our citizens will not cheer up over a idiotic holiday. We have plenty of our own! These holidays do nothing to help. I can hardly imagine that a celebration made by Christian's is what is necessary to our demonic agenda."

"I don't want us to be demonic anymore, Lucifer," Diavolo sighed, "Of all the three Realms, we have the highest rates of depression, murder, rape, suicide, crimes, everything! We are underdeveloped and our kingdom is falling apart! I just want to celebrate one more simple holiday time help spread positivity. I already feel like I am failing as a prince with all these odds. Everything I try to do for help ends up backfiring in some way."

"You aren't failing as a prince," Lucifer furrows his eyebrows, "Fuck, I'm sorry. If it really means that much to you...."

Diavolo's face lit up, "Oh, thank you, Luci! Thank you! Christmas is going to be the best thing that has ever happened to the Devildom! We need to start decorating! I'm so excited!"

Diavolo ran out of the room, smiling incredibly wide. Lucifer sighed.

"Demon's celebrating Christmas," He grimaced, "This is idiotic. Bah, humbug."

[trickycactus]

cant stand when someone corrects me w that 'its not a RELIGIOUS holiday/organization its a CHRISTIAN one' as if yalls stupid asses havent spent a quarter of human history shitting up the place with all your splintering off infighting bullshit. the hell is a calvinist. shut up.

[kill-republicans-and-democrats]

Today's talk shit program is based on realms and dimensions religions and piece of shit christianity. Ahhhhhhhh, huh you may ask?

Well here we go, Hercules and Atlas were both vikings that sailed around the world over a thousand years ago. And some most all knew the world was round as documented an ancient astronomy, knowing all planets were round.

Thanksgiving is originally an old world holiday from Asia to Africa even europe. It's even written about in old testament as a religious holiday called thanksgiving.

Then there is stupid Christopher Columbus to proclaim thanksgiving something else with Christianity and mata h Christ with christ-opher columbus. And make it a out a mayflower avoiding Hercules and Atlas truth and most of earth celebrating Arabian days and nights and thanksgiving already. Then taking the Arabian days and nights and going on about christ-mas to act like the holiday is about christianity. Who keeps pushing the victim trap. Damned Christians and white bullshit.

Christ the fucked up matrix program, lol, not funny.

Writing this Christ crap into Yankees to win a war since the confederates killed abe Lincoln the war was won. However that makes since. Then push Republicans and Democrats to stop the popularity of communism with the president died so the war was won.

Fucking white people's sense makes no sense in to many crap ass Christian ways.

Lol, fucked up.

I'm a communist😀😀😀

Rest goes to go on about things like 4 scores and seven years ago our forefathers founded this great nation.

This section dissected is code for independence day known as July the 7th month represented in years. For to match with four and four score as the 4th day 7-4- xxxx to match foundation with gates foundation.

Which gave proof through the night that our flag was still there with bombs bomb bursting in air which brought liberty and stripes to our flag that's still there.

Year it was written and expression of air why would bombs bomb burst in air if there was not flight, but this matches with air. Referring to liberty and the statue delivery of France,

War of the world's pronounced on radio and documented as a prank which was done in the same years we were at war and can match with seven or 4 or for even in golf. So why would war of the world's be a prank to say there was no war pronounced in war. Also in time buildings of power plants and roads heavily and advancing plumbing and much more. If all this be done how was there a war but there was no war but the war is documented as real. What if war of the world's was real and aliens took over pushing radio towers as high price to tell you on the radio, like war of the world's is not real alien plasma gun says snow say wars not real humans. Excellent aliens say invasion commence, advance NASA to monitor earth. But if there was war which history says why would such a prank be said. Could saying it's a prank promote laughter, that settles something, oh my gosh that that was so real whew so it was fake no war after all. Lol

So how does this all fit in and what changed the cavalry over to tanks was war as real.

Are the speeches all codes to set forth advancements by extraterrestrials without man and woman knowing or a time program to create a nation.

Why is it all so convenient but nothing really adds up.

Now back to 4fathers-forfathers to match with framework. Representing important events and themes in our history, Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt were selected. Each face is approximately 60 feet in height and with noses longer than 20 feet.

Then it gets deeper the speeches of 4 presidents to match with a whole lot.

That my talk shit about USA history.

Anyways it's black Batman, nananananuhnuh Batman

[actualmermaid]

Hey Christians

I am once again getting reports that some of you are appropriating Jewish holidays and traditions, and 🌠 you should immediately stop doing that 🌠

Since I'm also a Christian, maybe you'll take this better from me. I usually see this behavior from people who are white, American, and/or Evangelical-adjacent, and I suspect that you're messing around with Jewish stuff because you feel alienated from your own cultural background, whatever that may be. You belong to what is essentially the big-box-store version of Christianity, and you're probably hungry for something that feels more "authentic." That's 100% understandable! But it is not a reason to appropriate traditions that belong to a community that has not shared them with you!

Luckily, there are some pretty easy ways to get acquainted with your own cultural heritage through traditional Christian observances.

Get acquainted with the traditional liturgical calendar. Our observances are structured around the solar year, and historically, these observances were tied to the patterns of agricultural labor. Religious festivals also had seasonal significance: the birth of Jesus coincides with the lengthening of days after the winter solstice, the resurrection of Jesus coincides with the rebirth of plants and animals in the spring, and so forth. The more you learn, the more you realize how much we've lost/forgotten!

If you know where your ancestors came from, you can research how folk-religious festivals are practiced in those parts of the world! What foods are eaten? What games are played? What stories are told? If there's a church associated with "your" cultural community, you might consider visiting them around important festivals and learning what they do. Remember, you are a student, and you should still approach these observances with respect and openness!

Here's a non-exhaustive list of things to try if you're feeling the temptation to appropriate a closed Jewish practice:

Instead of observing Rosh Hashanah because you're feeling left-out by the lack of major Christian holidays at this time of year, start looking forward to the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi (October 4). Here in the US, it's common for churches to hold a special "Blessing of the Animals" service or a "St. Francis the Peacemaker" service, often in cooperation with churches from other denominations! It's a lot of fun!

Instead of trying to host your own Passover seder (I have a horror story about this that I will refrain from sharing out of respect for my Jewish friends), just celebrate Easter like the rest of us! Easter, not Christmas, is the most important day in the Christian liturgical year. There are MANY ways to celebrate Easter in a more "traditional" way than you might be used to.

Celebrating Hanukkah as a Christian makes you look fucking stupid! Don't do it! Instead, if you want a multi-day traditional Christian observance, our things are the seasons of Advent and Christmastide! Again, depending on your cultural background, there are lots of ways to "practice Christianity" around this time. Fasting (similar to fasting during Lent) and lighting the candles on an Advent wreath are easy ways to start.

Don't try to observe Torah, that's not our thing! If you want to practice more "rules," consider trying out one of the many Christian fasting traditions (NOT the "Daniel Fast," which is basically a crash diet attached to some very bullshit theology), praying the Daily Office or using prayer beads, or wearing a head-covering in church. ("But I'm not Catholic," you might say, but if you do some research you'll discover that none of these things are unique to Catholics! You're not Jewish either, but that's not stopping you from messing around with their stuff!)

Before you come at me with excuses about this not being "biblical" or whatever, keep in mind that many Jewish observances are also not "biblical"! If you really want to try out a Jewish holiday, you should make a Jewish friend and let them invite you, but it's pretty hard to make Jewish friends if you're constantly trying to steal their shit! (The last 2000 years of Jewish-Christian relations are hard proof of this!)

[wellshut]

I wish Christ would come back just to absolutely roast and break down all the bigots in his name. I don’t believe in Christianity, not even the tiniest bit. It would be funny though if he came back and his only reaction was “Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck?!”

But anyway. I wish we would stop doing the cultural Christmas thing. I don’t want to see Christmas trees in every store unless I can also find equally committed displays for other religions, not some stupid “This is a huge Christmas tree but also a dinky little cheap menorah even if it’s nowhere near that time because we aren’t capable of conceiving other winter holidays as anything except Their Version of Christmas.”

And if you want to pull some bullshit about Christmas being largely secular, you have to end all Christmas carols. I don’t ever want to walk into another store and hear the radio singing badly about “The Lord” or “Angels” or mangers or any other thing. How can you argue Christmas is even slightly secular when carols sound like that? That just makes you look stupid. PLAY OTHER MUSIC YOU INSENSITIVE PIG FUCKS

Reminder that Christmas is a religious holiday and all the things that come with it (the tree, the colors, the traditions, etc.) are apart of it (even if you don’t celebrate for religious reasons it still is) and if you say “Oh it’s just part of the season” you’re throwing your Jewish & other not Christian religious participants under the bus

[sapphicpetrodactyl]

so i go to a catholic all girls school, and because of this i have to take religion class at school (which i personally think is bullshit, we only learn about christianity which is stupid). But anyway on to the point of the story, it turns out that I had an assignment to do over the holidays i still have a week to do it thankfully.

Anyway the assignment is basically to upcycle something, so i'm upcycling some old clothes to make a patchwork pride flag as a subtle fuck you to all the homophobia in religion :)

i'll reblog this post as i make it, heres step 1:

^the backing (i just cut up an old sheet)

^the clothes i'm reusing, turns out we have a lot of blue and green, but hardly any of the other colours

[lifblogs]

#SPNAdventCalendar2020 | Wishes | @bend-me-shape-me

READ ON AO3

Dean had one wish for Christmas: to not celebrate. It was just another stupid holiday to him. One with too much annoying music, and colorful decorations that made him inwardly growl and groan with aggravation. The presents were bullshit thanks to them being obligatory, and seeing and knowing that families were gathering just left him bitter. So no, he sure as hell wasn’t going to celebrate. What he really wished to do was to go on a hunt, and then head to a motel room or the bunker and drink some beer, feeling accomplished. Though, he figured he’d still be angry. Dean was always angry, it seemed. He hated it.

On Black Friday, Sam put up a few decorations. That was what started the war between them. Dean would take them down. Sam would put them back up. Over and over again.

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Sam asked, tone loud and sharp.

“Really, Sam?” Dean questioned. “You want to celebrate Christmas?”

Sam shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.”

“Whatever.”

Dean went to grab a beer.

On the first of December, Cas came to the bunker. Dean was happy beyond belief to see his boyfriend. They kissed, they made love, they watched movies together.

Then, one night, it was Cas’ turn to pick the movie.

What did his boyfriend pick? Klaus. A Christmas movie on Netflix; a Santa origin story.

Dean grudgingly put up with it, and maybe part of him liked it. He ignored that. He had to.

Two days after that, he found mistletoe hanging above his doorway. Dean got out a ladder and tore it down.

It went back up that night.

So Dean gave in just a little bit, and let Castiel thoroughly kiss him.

What was maybe a week later, the bunker was ringing with Christmas music. Hey, at least it was rock versions rather than all the Christian and jingly shit. Dean even found himself singing along.

On Christmas Eve (which he realized he’d accidentally been keeping track of), Castiel grabbed Dean and dragged him to the kitchen to make cookies. He actually wanted Dean to make his own recipe.

To Dean’s utmost surprise, he found himself willingly doing research on it; looking up blogs and measurements and information and what flavors went with each other.

So that night after dinner he made his creation, Cas and Sam helping him under his instruction. About two hours later the cookies were done: sugar cookies with candy cane frosting (Dean didn’t even know where the candy canes had come from) topped with a homemade gingerbread spice mix.

Hell, they were insanely delicious. Dean had three, and he brought another back to his room. He kissed Cas under the mistletoe. He smiled at the tree Sam had put up. He went to listen to some rock renditions of Christmas music. He fell asleep listening to it.

He awoke late on Christmas morning, Sam knocking at his door.

“Hey, get dressed. Cas and I have a surprise for you.”

God, it better not be some damn presents.

Still, Dean groaned, wiped the sleep from his eyes, and sat up. It took a bit to get himself to crawl out of bed, but when he did, he dressed, rinsed his mouth out with a glass of water, ran a hand through his hair, and then he left. He passed through the kitchen, grabbing a cookie on the way. His family wasn’t there, so he headed for the war room. Nope. He saw them in the library.

There were presents under the tree. Presents. All wrapped nicely, some even with bows.

Dean groaned around the bite of the cookie in his mouth.

Castiel went to grab him and drag him over.

Dean, mouth still full, complained in a mumble, “Guys, I so don’t want to do this.”

Sam picked up a box, and then tossed it at Dean. He had no choice but to catch it with his free hand. It was a decent size, rectangular. It was about thick enough to be a book. Hmm…

“Too bad,” Sam said.

After finishing his cookie, and wiping his free hand on his jeans, he ripped open the wrapping paper decorated with penguins in Santa hats.

When he saw what it was, he started smiling. How the hell was he smiling on Christmas? Damn! He wanted to go out and kill something, yet here he was… happy, of all things. His present was a Kurt Vonnegut book: Slaughterhouse-Five.

“Wow, I haven’t read this since high school,” Dean said.

“I know you like Vonnegut,” Sam explained.

“Sammy, thank you.”

He went over and gave his brother a quick half hug, patting him on the back.

Then, more presents came. Dean was given nerdy t-shirts and socks, another Kurt Vonnegut book, and Tombstone on DVD. He was overwhelmed with everything. Sam had presents from Cas, Cas had presents from Sam, and Dean just stood there, empty-handed, nothing to give to them.

He bowed his head, clenching his jaw.

“Guys, I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything. I just… didn’t think we were doing anything this year. We never do, you know? And I didn’t want to. I really didn’t.”

“Are you sure about that?” Castiel asked, going to wrap an arm around Dean’s waist, kissing him on the top of the head, and then his cheek. He then brought his mouth to Dean’s ear lobe.

Sam grimaced, and Dean laughed.

“Hey,” he said, snapping his fingers at them like they were disobedient dogs, “I’m literally right here.”

Dean didn’t bother apologizing for that. Cas whispered in his ear what he was going to do to Dean later, and it took everything in him to not get half-hard. Thinking about how his family was probably disappointed in him helped with that a great deal.

“I just… I wished to not do anything. Wanted to keep it quiet, wanted to go on a hunt. Ignore it. That was my wish. Or, I thought it was. I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten you two some presents.”

Sam smiled, a bit teary-eyed of all things. (What?) “Seeing you smile is the only present I need.”

Dean’s heart seemed to soar at that, all light and airy.

“Our wish was to see you happy, Dean,” Castiel said. “And we succeeded.”

[spaaacevodka]

fuck boris johnson and his entire fucking government

to seriously think he can say that the government did everything they could to control coronavirus

u fucking idiots and ur stupid fucking christmas and ur bullshit fucking tier system and ur straight up fucking refusal to take this pandemic seriously

over 100 000 people have died, and all so that u could make sure rich people have more money and so that christians could have their fucking tree holiday

over 100 000 people died, that didn't need to die, whose lives u willingly sacrificed, whose lives u clearly didn't deem important enough to protect

and u have the nerve to say that u did the best u could

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 508

I mean, shame on me for allowing myself to get my hopes up that the show might have turned a corner last week. I should know better by now.

At least Young Ian’s back. And Marsali had a nice moment. And that’s about all I have to say about this episode that’s positive. I swear to fuck, this show hates Claire as much as the author of the books does. Where the fuck is the lead protagonist, show? Can she come back? Can she get a story line of her own that’s more than just a random scene every few episodes, please? And can Bree please be given something to fucking do that doesn’t involve Roger, Jemmy or rape? Does Fergus still even live on the Ridge?

But yeah, I guess let’s just all watch the episode twice so our dumb lady!brains can understand that Matt’s stupid silent movie gimmick was actually ~ArT~ and not, you know, a stupidly bad creative choice. Seriously, fuck that guy.

I can’t tell you how much idgaf about watching Roger teach. Also, Bree’s like his students’ age since she was in college too. So really all this bit is doing is to make me skeeved out about their age difference.

“Can you tell me why anyone would go to the trouble of burying one?” he said, condescendingly, like the doucherocket he is. Do not disrespect Young Ian like that, asshat.

“People live and die by their words.” *gestures to the beautiful shitposts on this hellsite* sure jan dot gif.

I already want to fastforward.

Would 100% rather sit through a lecture on suspension bridges than watch silent movies, tbh.

Hate the title card. Hate this whole gimmick.

Hate.

HAAAAATE.

Roger got hanged. Roger was dumb, Buck was an abusive and toxic fuckwad. But still, Roger got hanged and this is how we find out he’s alive and how he was saved?

It should be this big emotional moment. It should make me feel a thing in spite of myself. But nope! Gotta do this fucking silent movie thing. Which is hilariously terrible. And I laughed at it the whole time. In a mean and judgey fashion. What a craptastic creative choice. Whoever’s idea that was is a fucking idiot. *stares at a certain pompous af showrunner*

Ok but for real though, does LJG just like live in North Carolina now? Why is he always around, besides, you know, so we don’t forget he’s a character who exists.

For real though, he lives in Virginia and gets more screen time than fucking Fergus and Marsali who live fucking next door.

At least writing this recap is gonnna be quick and easy since they waste so much time re-showing the stupid silent movie footage.

Yes, I know, they’re trying to show Roger’s PTSD. Which involves flashbacks. And gradually turn it to color once he’s like come to terms with what happened and starts to move forward. But the execution is so bad that the whole arc is wasted because it’s just so poorly done.

Oh hey! A Claire and Bree scene! I love those. Except oh wait, it aggressively fails the Bechdel Test.

I JUST WANT THE FUCKING WOMEN ON THIS SHOW TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO THAT’S COMPLETELY FUCKING SEPARATE FROM THE MEN. ARGH.

Jocasta singing at Murtz’s cairn is a reminder that everyone should check out MDK’s music.

And her wearing the necklace Murtz gave her makes the existence of show!Duncan even dumber. Like oh hey, new husband, don’t mind me, just mourning my dead boyfriend and wearing his jewelry. But it’s totally normal since my niece-in-law still wears her abusive ex-husband’s ring.

Sorry, show!Duncan, but a more pointless character was never included. Show!Duncan wins the prize for most BeCaUsE tHe BoOk dumbassery.

Repeatedly showing what’s basically a snuff film is...a choice.

LJG has no sense of personal space when it comes to the Frasers. And it’s fucking creepy.

Oh look, another scene where all Claire gets to do is comfort someone about a man.

*BANGS FIST ON TABLE* GIVE CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP THE STORY LINES SHE DESERVES.

Jemmy aged like 3 years in the 3 month time jump.

Ok, I totally get why Roger hadn’t spoken yet. But once he did, the seal was broken. Not talking after he yelled to stop Jemmy, even a little bit, is just a dick move. Not that he’d be magically better. But he like refuses to even take baby steps.

CAN WE PLEASE GET THROUGH AN EPISODE WITHOUT A MUSICAL INTERLUDE. I FUCKING HATE THE CLEMENTINE SONG.

GRANNIE CLAIRE AND GRANDA JAMIE ARE MY FAVE.

OMFG AN ARROW. THAT CLEARLY MEANS...YOUNG IANNNNN!!!!!

So glad he’s back. So fucking glad. Yes, it means one more character to dilute how much time we can spend with any given person, but it’s a character that I like so hopefully he takes away from some of the time given to ones I don’t like?

Aaand Roger can’t even bring himself to try to talk to the guy who gave himself up in his place. Fuck Roger.

Claire does a better job at first than Jamie at picking up the vibes Young Ian is putting off, but like, for two people who are supposed to be emotionally intelligence, neither of them do a good job at first of really *seeing* Ian.

John Bell is really good in this episode.

Omfg Marsali has tarot cards. She’s like leaning full on into being the white witch’s apprentice and I fucking love her so much.

Also, the Hanged Man card is representative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than like being actually hanged as a punishment. But whatevs.

Ok I think the reason Jenny yelling at Jamie to snap out of it in S3 bugged me where this scene with Bree yelling at Roger doesn’t is because sibling dynamic is completely different than spouses where both of them have gone through something unimaginable.

That he can’t even say anything here. Or give her any kind of sign that he’s still in there is a dick move. He *can* speak. He knows that now. So does everyone else. He’s actively choosing not to. Even to say that he just needs more time to work through his shit. No one’s asking him to be a chatterbox and totally back to normal.

Young Ian just sitting there while everyone else does grace is literally me at every family holiday.

Oh look, a wild Fergus appeared!

Ok, I never got the surveying thing. Wouldn’t the land already be registered? Since they were given the paperwork and shit for it from the governor? I know there was some bit about it in the book about keeping it after the Revolution but like, who the fuck else are they registering it with that would make a difference? The gov’t is still the English gov’t?

“But there are things you keep hidden from others. You and Claire both.” Ok, can he please be talking about time travel? I mean, I know he’s talking about his wife and their miscarriages, but I just want someone else to know about time travel already please and thank you.

HOW THE FUCK IS MARSALI STILL PREGNANT?! SHE’S BEEN PREGNANT FOR LIKE A FUCKTON OF TIME.

Fuck yeah not-Catholic-anymore-Ian. No grace, talking about the creator in a way that isn’t explicitly the christian god. Good job, kid.

My parents called me to say happy easter and I had to be like, uh, you remember that I don’t celebrate that, right?

Happy Zombie!Jeebus Appreciation Day to all the still christian people. And happy chance to have fun with burner zoom accounts named Elijiah to the jewish folks.

Jokes aside, the scene with Young Ian and Marsali was really nice and Marsali remains a fucking saint. It’s nice that Young Ian has someone who like actually gets what it’s like to find a home in a group of strangers.

Oh Claire, think more highly of your assistant. Also, what a clunky fucking way to be like oh hey, one of the emo!bros is gonna try to off themselves.

Ok but with the paper airplane now too, can we please show Young Ian finding out about time travel? Please?

Ok, but Claire automatically jumping to Roger wanting to off himself with her herbs... It’s making me judge both of them a little that neither picked up on just how clearly Young Ian was suffering. Like come the fuck on, y’all. It wasn’t subtle.

Also, can we please have more Adso?

SOMEONE GIVE YOUNG IAN A HUG! NO, NOT YOU, ROGER! SOMEONE GOOD!

Yada yada yes they both have been through something shitty and call me a biased asshole, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything about Roger and I feel all the things about Young Ian.

So Roger won’t talk when his wife begs, but he’ll talk when someone calls him on his bullshit. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nice dude.

NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR THE OLD ROGER, YOU TWATWAFFLE. THEY WERE ASKING FOR *A* ROGER. INSTEAD OF A ZOMBIE.

Again, there’s more to that tarot card than a literal hanged man, but whatever, show.

Oh thank fuck the episode is finally over. Expectations are back down in the gutter for the rest of the season. Please pleasantly surprise me, show, but I will not make the mistake again of thinking you’re actually gonna be consistently good again.

[vitosscaletta]

oh you know... 🤠 x 🤡🔥 for the ask 😏

(hehe... thank u 😌 also @chuckhansen and @queennymeria asked for her too so)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

Oh you know... fun Z*** camping trip gone wrong :)

What was their first impression of each other?

jhsdjhdf NOT good! Technically not a real first impression for her since she already knew who he was pretty much all her life and what he did in the past. If anything, the things she saw (you know. heads on spikes, creepy wall art, etc.) only confirmed what she thought of him. The only thing that surprised her was the talk about religion and all that - needless to say she didn’t buy it 😌 more out of principle rather than it being based on the things she saw so far, she’s too stubborn to really change her opinion!!

I don’t think 🤡 was too impressed with her either - she’s very open about her distrust of him & he’s trying to appear like he changed or whatever (which he hasn’t but probably believes it ) so of course he resents it!!! Also isn’t really convinced that she agreed to help just for other people’s sake, she’s probably just trying to get that map... which is wrong but ya know!

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

NO... J***** has no friends and Audrey’s CERTAINLY wouldn’t. Her family even more so than her friends. 

Who felt romantic feelings first? 

hehehe... 🤡🔥 for sure but more in a way that was like.. looks at her being genuinely good, like doing things for other people & being concerned for them without ever asking anything in return & just seeing how she’s getting warm smiles and actual affection from them & feels kinda weird about it, it’s so different from literally almost everyone he’s ever known but in a good way.. conflicting feelings but I’ll talk about that more under the next question teehee

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

oh god yes both of them but in a completely different way 😌

for J***** it’s conflicting like I said, she’s stupid and annoying as hell but in a weird way he’s impressed (not at first but. event chilly) by how she’s so caring & just genuinely a good person but in a sexy and badass way. But also thinks it’s dumb as hell, he’s too old for that shit so he’s just like... “ugh enough i’m gonna go back to reloading guns 😑” whenever he’s staring at her for too long

Audrey too but it’s more.. her being pissed because he’s a terrible person and even if he has changed, it doesn’t undo the things he did in the past. She’s so embarrassed about the whole thing 😔

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

omg.. J***** probably doesn’t believe in that kinda stuff and Audrey would be like. “LOL did you hurt your head??”

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Audrey.. weird ass confession thing on her last day before leaving for the m***** again so it’s mostly just letters from then on. Until she decides it’s time for shitty camping trip... 2! 

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

no dates for them :●(

What was their first kiss like?

GODDD really awkward... because he didn’t do anything back at first & she feels so embarrassed - she’s not shy when it comes to that kinda stuff, this is weird for her though and she thought she did something wrong & regrets it :/ kiss nr two was still a little weird bc he probably caught her in a bad angle but it wasn’t awkward... she still liked it 😌 freak

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

first kiss <3 no im just kidding... imagine. Not really!!

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

I never make up heights for my ocs, she’s a bit smaller than him though :^) but not that much. 

Age difference is cursed.. about 20 years 🤢 She’s in her thirties though so it’s not like. really old man & super young and inexperienced little girl. She’s also definitely not someone who puts up with his bullshit so 😌

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

ummmm I honestly do not think anyone from her family would be thrilled to see him. at all. I haven’t decided if and how they find out but it would be like.. shrek 2 dinner scene :/ 

Don’t laugh at me but in my cringe hc Josh has an older sister.. they’re not exactly on good terms but she & Audrey would be cool I guess. 😌

Who takes the lead in social situations?

AUDREY DUHHH... maxed out speech skill bitches only

Who gets jealous easier?

I think Josh a little, mostly because there’s not much for Audrey to be jealous of, meanwhile she chats with literally everyone and most people really do like her so when someone gets a little too close he’s like... :| doesn’t say anything about it though

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

Audrey does. she has to do all the work :(

What are their primary love languages?

I had to do a quiz for this but uuuhhhhh apparently acts of service bitches

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Not much  :●( they’re private about it except maybe hand touching or something, also there’s a lot they just can’t do bc that shit hurted 

What are their favorite things to do together?

There’s not really much to do honestly but mostly just.. chilling... late night talks. Or sometimes not talking at all while she puts on some music and hums along. It’s usually Nancy Sinatra or The Mamas & The Papas so he’s like... :////// but she’s having a good time so. Sometimes she’s nice and puts on music that he like.. some obscure shit from the 40s. 

Also I guess she also likes to hear him read weird ass bible passages out loud. She’s not really paying any attention to the content of it but it’s nice 😌

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Audrey.. she’s a bit overbearing sometimes so that’s a little frustrating but I feel like Josh would say really stupid things trying to helpful 🙄

Who’s more protective?

both 😌 Josh more in a “threatens anyone who messes with her at gunpoint or something” way (I’m exaggerating of course. but also.. am i..) while Audrey is more level-headed about it

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Verbal affection, mostly because physical isn’t always possible, but also the acts of service kinda thing. protectiveness and all that shit

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

MUSIC YES.... time to plug their playlist. in specifi.. NFWMB by hozier mostly... the vibes.. the lyrics.. the intensity of it all

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

None. just their names... Audrey will call him Josh sometimes for fun... drake & josh theme playing

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

I actually don’t know if they’d get married tbh. Realistically yes??? But I also can’t really... envision it...

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

who knows? not me

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Two 😌 Ben & Rachel... they’re both weird as hell but also have their mother’s overpowered charisma stats which is cute when they’re small but gets a little annoying when they’re older

Do they have any pets?

technically Rex bc she forgot to return him to the king : /

Who’s the stricter parent?

J***** for sure.. he’s weird & doesn’t want to be any negative influence in any way but at the same time he’s probably the one to put up rules that no one really cares for

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Also him probably

How do they celebrate holidays?

Not much.. I feel like Christian holidays aren’t really much of a thing anymore (idk if mormons have like the same holidays.. I don’t wanna google either ❤) but Audrey tries to do something on islamic holidays, she doesn’t really know much about religion but they were a thing when she grew up :/ it’s not much, just. putting up one decorative item or something

Who’s the better cook?

neither :( it’s blamco mac and cheese all year around

[rose-coloured-boy]

truly i want to smash my head against this seminar so bad. we arranged topics at our last seminar, which i put in our gc this morning, and we are just! not covering them! instead we're talking about what we're all doing for christmas! and i want! to! scream! 🙃 i am really glad you're all having lovely christmases with your big old families this year, folks, but i am down two fuckin family members and don't really want to think about my stupid holiday plans or talk cheerfully about them and i equally don't want to go, "hey guys sorry to be a mega bummer but my granny and dad actually died this year and i don't want to talk about this!!" so instead i just grit my fuckin teeth and said, "oh, haha, i'm not thinking about it much because i'm trying to organise moving atm since that needs done by January, hahaha". and i then got asked if i was really christmassy or a grinch! like, no! no to both, man! i don't give a fuck about christmas, i'm not a christian, i haven't been since i was around 7! i don't care! i don't give a fuck, and i'm not a grinch, celebrate what you want! but fuck me, man, i'm trying to save you from the huge bummer of me admitting i'm in the midsts of grieving a recent death and a slightly less recent death! leave me alone! please!

and in like five minutes i'm going to have to go back to smiling so i can run the group and talk about whatever bullshit topic not related to our fucking course we come up with next! i am going to scream!!