#stupid brain tricks
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Ohh I feel this SO HARD. I find myself fighting back the urge to ask my husband this all the time. And it sucks.
I didn't even grow up in an "unsafe" household in the sense that I was gonna get beat on or screamed at and told I was garbage, but it was a household with parents who were trying their best but had grown up with hypercritical judgemental people and were passing some of that on even though they wanted to do better. So I'm most probably in the disorganized attachment squad, which is ALL KINDS of fun, I tell you what.
Thank you, OP. It really helps to be reminded that I'm not alone.
They should make a "are you mad at me" that is taken neutrally and informationally every time and doesn't make everything worse when you ask it
#are you mad at me#is the actual worst feeling#anxious attachment#disorganized attachment#stupid brain tricks#things that are hard
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brain is very stupid and keeps gaming out how to murder someone with gravity powers and like yes obviously anything with a trajectory is right out
leaving a geographic cone snail with a toxic hazard sticker on it in their fridge, huh? that's what i'm going with?
fuck me too buddy
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That stupid Dungeon cooking show has lassoed me
#its just low stakes enough with breezy runtime to trick my stupid brain into consuming it#i feel a certain kinship with Laios
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listened ti a different cshr song than i intended and it did in fact get worse
#the trick behind cshr is to listen to the song right for the desired outcome of your brain#but if you're stupid and have bad eyes this does not matter#cshr#csh#car seat headrest
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You know what the worst feeling I've been having lately is? Wanting more than anything to get back into Actual Art again but finding a sudden anxiety that stops me. Even if I'm still as capable as I was, it's the mental block. It's why I've all but kept commissions closed for this whole time: this overwhelming fear of letting people down. Especially in times as troubled as these, where money is tight, and patience is thin. I've always been blessed with such patient and considerate commissioners, but I would hate to test people because of my malfunctioning brat of a brain.
I just wish it came to me as easily as it did before the massive burnout/medication. But it's up to me to come up with my own motivation. And it's ME.
Anyway. Thanks as always for sticking around despite... all of this. I'll get back on the horse soon.
#text post#april rambles#it's stupid because I WANT to do it#but even wanting to do things doesn't trick my jerkass brain#the meds helped some things and fucked other things#I'm still trying to reshape my relationship with watercolor#I haven't touched it enough and yet I'm trying to learn more#which sounds dumb#but so is anxiety am i right?#so i've been poking linocut because i don't feel bad being awful or unskilled at it or whatever#it's no pressure#and I'm disproportionately afraid of pressure now#which is something the medication can't fix#now if only I could purchase motivation and courage#I'm just so worried I'll disappoint people forever#you know how vicious cycles are#anyway i'm gonna get things done one way or another
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BARKING AND RUNNING IN CIRCLES
Hejehrhhxgxgcjvchx @cybervesna took some pics of Aon. And a bonus pic with her and Wiosna. Knife BFFs 🔥
#Blorbo girl in her natural ice cold habitat#Warmer clothes? Nah a cigarette does the trick#My brain goes brrrrrrrr but not because it's cold#Crying shacking kicking my feet#Thank you Ves 💚#I love the pics so much 😭#cyberpunk 2077#oc: aon#wiosna blazkowicz#They look at Kurt how he does some stupid shit again asking themselves if they should tell him or watch him fail
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ana trying to impersonate wario because he said he didn't feel like coming to work that day. she... well she tried her best please clap for her
#this was an idea that crossed my 300 iq brain while trying to go to sleep now im realizing this is stupid#inspired by ana's page on the warioware jp website#i feel like she'd try to up her game from transforming from small objects to people like kat and her friends to trick them#warioware#wario fanart#mona warioware#ana warioware#if you look REAALLY closely
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unique cognitive abilities dazai has mastered:
reading upside down
speaking (+reading) backwards
is ambidextrous
identifying and creating palindromes (words that are the same read backwards or forwards, and thus doing the same with longer phrases)
can quickly spot how many syllables are in words/sentences
can read/speak quickly with clarity and understanding
mnemonics (using words/phrases/items to quickly recall memories and information for easier identification)
is exceptional at tongue twisters
dual narration of a story (playing two characters' dialogues without interruption and has clear character distinction in tone/presentation)
nonsense word creation (what it says on the tin, making up words and their definitions)
accent mimicry (which goes alongside his ability to quickly learn languages + he learns them for fun)
reverse thinking (solving problems by thinking about them in reverse, examining the outcomes and working backward to figure out the steps needed to get there)
language creation (see: him and fyodor conversing in a language made of random phrases and parts of their previous conversations in meursault)
++ more ... he's literally a genius :p
#he has the curse of a genius' mind and the lack of motivation to use it proactively but he likes to learn skills#and party tricks :p experiences genius burn out more than he would like to admit#and in my mind his brain is just. always buzzing and never quiet#even when trying to sleep in the dead silence of the night hours#it is wide awake and calculating ...#there are Few things that make it quiet :p#part of what makes writing dazai so fun is hes a genius that doesnt act like one#like he DOES and its obvious he is incredibly smart but he's so whimsical and stupid that writing him requires no genius aside when i rly#have to get analytical about his thoughts#no longer human with the brain of a super computer ... man </3 i feel for him so bad
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AC Mirage ramblings and big emotion™️ because im tipsy
Do you ever think that every once in a while Basim will hear Nehals laugh or catch a glimpse of her in the corner of his eye? Do you ever think he smiles to himself but doesn’t chase for another glimpse and doesn’t try to listen harder because he knows he will find nothing? Do you think how after a bad nightmare he can feel her gently waking him up only to wake up to an empty promise and an empty bed that has always and will always be empty? Do you think some nights he replays that night in his head over and over trying to believe that she is always there never leaving him alone only to realize he was alone the entire time? Do you think that what remains of basim that isnt Loki craves the companionship that never existed? Do you think that sometimes he mourns for someone he has never met? Do you think that he grieves the real people in his life especially the children that he blames himself for their deaths? Do you think it destroys him when in the end it was him. It was always him. He is alone. And always has been. Because all it was,
Was a Mirage.
#sry#im a stupid drunken wannabe poet#DO YOU THINK HE STILL THINKS ABOUT HER AND SOMETIMES HIS BRAIN PLAYS TRICKS ON HIM#this game is killing me#clawing at me from the inside out#i love basim#and nehal#also why do we never talk about the kids#they loved him#and looked up to him#and his willingness to impress the hidden ones caused their death indirectly#i feel so bad for him#it fucked me up big time#the way i looked at each of their bodies#fuck man this game rly fucked me up#ac mirage#assassins creed#assassin's creed#assassins creed mirage#basim ibn ishaq#nehal
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controversial opinion but I wish ADHD would be renamed by somebody who actually has ADHD
#sixpost#ADHD#look man I'm just tired of having Stupid Asshole Won't Sit Still And Listen Disorder#like dude how is any of this shit my fault I didn't pick out my own brain you fuck#what's next you gonna diagnose that kid in the wheelchair with Lazy Bitch Won't Stand Up Like A Normal Person Disorder?#eight years in college a buncha degrees that cost you about a hundred-thousand dollars each#and you're still sayin' the same shit my grandpa would say when I was a kid#“y'know son if you payed as much attention to your school work as you do to those video games you'd be getting straight A's”#YES GRANDPA I AM AWARE OF THAT THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT#I WILL NOW RETURN TO BEING PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF PAYING ATTENTION TO MY SCHOOLWORK BECAUSE IT IS BORING#PERHAPS FOR MY NEXT TRICK I WILL PICK UP A MOUNTAIN#HOW COULD I NOT IT'S SO SIMPLE JUST PICK IT UP RIGHT
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been itching to write a javid-centric newsies fic lately but i have a huge fear of accidentally mischaracterizing characters in pieces of media, even if i’ve been a fan for literal years and it is my biggest hyperfixation (cough cough pjo cough cough) so i’m like,,,paralyzed by that fear and just end up not even thinking of like a plot or how to not mischaracterize anyone, or literally anything else that might help me write the fic 😭😭😭
#newsies#newsies 1992#92sies#newsies musical#newsies movie#newsies fic#writers block#my brain is so stupid sometimes#i hate it here#please give me tips and tricks on how to not mischaracterize the boys to all hell#i need help 🙏#please fansies i’m counting on you
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On the one hand I definitely agree that Marc’s absence doesn’t take anything away from titles won but on the other I would absolutely understand if Joan and Fabio especially (Pecco less, I think… the bike… they all know about Honda beginning to fail, right? At some point ig you could say even a pre-Jerez Marc Marquez wouldn’t have ridden that to a championship and it is in Pecco’s best interest to put that point into 2022) would forever consider their titles borrowed off “luck” because I also think everyone ASSUMING if Jerez didn’t happen, Marc would have won 2020 and likely also 2021 isn’t exactly wrong. He won 3 whole races in 2021 (however he did that), that’s more than anyone else but Pecco and Fabio who finished second and first… as Max said, if is a stupid concept in sport, but the if in question is not a regular “if”, and the whole grid knows it. Hell, we are all aware that had Jerez been simply milder instead of the horror it became, Marc’s achievements would look different at this time… So that’s definitely very interesting to me, that any winning done in Marc’s continued absence from the top seems asterisked by the riders’ own attitudes. That him being on that Ducati this year helps, even a little, to alleviate a bitterness that seemed settled whenever he missed a race. It’s a true win only if you beat Marquez, because Marquez is the one to beat. I wonder if that’s what 2010 felt like to the then-grid, when Vale broke his leg… that winning didn’t even count properly, bc Valentino was not there to make it real.
yeah, listen, if marc had been uninjured in 2020, he would have won the title. I'm not arguing that bit, I'm saying it doesn't matter. marc's injury wasn't some kind of freak accident... it was unfortunate, but it was also unsurprising, and his comeback going wrong even more so. this is what you have to remember about sports but especially motorcycle racing: you are placing heavy demands on your body, and sometimes the excess demands are directly correlated to your success. in this post, there's some quotes from 2019 about how 'lucky' marc is... because he was crashing so so much outside of races to find the limit of the bike - and yet it didn't hurt his results (obviously he was still injured a lot, yearly off-season surgeries and all that). this was part of his approach and it was obviously a very successful one. and in some ways it is also one that was necessitated by the characteristics of that honda, which at this stage only he could tame... but it is true that if a lot of other riders crashed at that rate, they would've been considerably worse off, and it was a part of the process that allowed him to be so successful. and it did already make a lot of people very uneasy at the time, because it felt like eventually it just... had to go wrong. it's also worth noting that... yes, marc's achievements would look different if the injury hadn't been that bad. but the initial injury wasn't 'that bad' relatively speaking - it was his decision to come back that really fucked him over. I strongly believe he shouldn't have been allowed to race, but it was still his decision, and it was part of a tradition of ridiculously fast injury comebacks that had also helped make him so successful in past years (though fwiw this one immediately felt like a bad idea, zero hindsight needed I promise you). so let's put it like this: if you keep putting your body under incredible strain even by motogp standards to reach the level of success you do, and eventually your luck runs out, eventually you land badly on the wrong side of the risk/reward calculation... then how is it fair to say your competitors should be handed asterisks in your absence?
in 2018-19 everybody (including valentino) expected that marc would surpass valentino's titles. few expected him to last at the top of the sport for as long as valentino did. valentino during his prime crashed far far more rarely than marc did and was battering his body considerably less... for marc, there was always the question of how long this could last. he was punishing his body for his particular brand of brilliance, but this always had to be a trade-off. it wouldn't have been surprising if his career had ended through injury, though of course how 2020 played out still ended up being a shock. but!! at the end of the day, even without marc's particularly risky style of racing, you wouldn't need an asterisk. the comparison to 2010 is an interesting one, because you can tell that jorge was at times extremely eager and determined to stress that he wasn't just benefiting from valentino's absence. in the dorna-produced docu for his title, he emphasises that he was already leading the points when valentino broke his leg at the fourth race of the season... which is true, but a) valentino also wasn't leading the championship in the early stages of the two previous years either, and b) valentino was already managing injury. the eruption of that icelandic volcano meant motegi had to be rescheduled, which gave valentino the opportunity to go and get his shoulder injured in a motocross accident (again, for the question of training risk/reward see the post I linked to above). it was this injury that quite probably caused the next one... and troubled him more in late 2010 and early 2011 than the leg did. it also set off the chain of events that allowed jorge to gain ascendancy internally in yamaha, which is part of the reason why valentino decided to go to ducati and essentially took himself out of title contention for... well, two ducati years, and another year where he still wasn't quite up to speed on the yamaha. stop the volcano from erupting and motogp quite plausibly looks very different for the next few years
the question of whether valentino wins the 2010 title without injury is far more open than whether marc would've won 2020, but at worst you have to call it about 50/50 - and even with the troublesome shoulder valentino was getting the better of their actual wheel-to-wheel fights in late 2010. so that title fight too was severely influenced by one rider's bad luck, one that you can't even trace back to a particularly risky riding style... but on the other hand, eventually everyone's luck runs out, and valentino had been relatively lucky for a long time. he was also getting older, which in itself will affect recovery time. this is how athletes' competitive life cycles go, right - yes, you might lose your physical edge, yes, you might struggle to find the same fire, but you have also demanded a lot from your body for a very long time and eventually you pay the price. eventually, every athlete's era has to end... and unfortunately in grand prix motorcycle racing, a lot of the time that era ends with injury. schwantz and rainey were long-time rivals, with rainey winning three consecutive titles at the start of the nineties. in 1993, they were again locked in a title fight - until rainey crashed and was left in a wheelchair, his career ended and the title handed to schwantz. that was schwantz's only title, but he's still considered one of the greats of the sport. doohan and criville were teammates when doohan was dominant, and it took doohan's career-ending injury during the third race of the 1999 season for crivi to finally win the title. kenny roberts jr won the title in the following season in what was a chaotic year not dissimilar to 2020... from the young star who wasn't quite ready to put together a title charge to the underdogs at suzuki eventually claiming the big prize. this is how it goes... what a champion needs on their side as much as anything else is luck. jorge wasn't crashing as much as marc was in 2013, and yet somehow he ended up with the broken collarbone at assen that severely damaged his title chances - because sometimes, it only takes one crash for it all to go wrong. does that mean marc is an undeserving title winner in 2013? of course it doesn't!
in the case of 2020, when it became increasingly clear marc would not be winning this title, it's not like everyone's minds immediately went to mir. the favourites were dovi, fabio, vinales... the thing is, right, it was an absolute mess of a season (that was also of course seriously impacted by the pandemic), but someone had to be the one to take advantage. the suzuki was a well-settled package and mir after a strong rookie season was the one to put in the consistent results to claim the title. he was already highly rated going into motogp, and he was absolutely seen as a potential star of the future. for his sake and his reputation within the sport, of course it would've been preferable to win a more emphatic title... and in some ways, his 2021 on a lagging suzuki is more impressive than the 2020 title. it's an incredible shame how his career has gone since then, mostly not through his own fault, and you still want to hope he'll have the opportunity to dispel a few more doubts - both from the fans and quite possibly himself. then again, hayden won two races in 2006, kenny roberts jr three in 2000... at the end of the day, the main thing new fans know now is that they were champions, and so it will one day be for mir too. moving on to 2021, it's worth remembering that by then the honda was already a bad bike. yes, marc would undoubtedly have been the title favourite - but two of his three wins that year were at his specialist circuits that also still suited the honda, basically the places where he could win with his eyes closed. at the very least, you have to believe 2021 would have had a proper title fight and wouldn't just have been a stroll in the park for marc - yes, quite probably he would have prevailed anyway, but it's really not so cut and dry
THAT BEING SAID. I do agree with much of this ask! it is interesting that it's asterisked in the riders' minds! but it shouldn't be - that's the devil talking, you need to stand up for yourself and ignore all the doubters and get on with it. jorge had enough self confidence and stubborn belief in his own ability that this discourse in 2010 did nothing but piss him off. in 2007, casey was incredibly sick of people talking down his title because of how good the ducati was that year and the tyre difference between him and valentino. yes, casey was on the better package that year, and valentino did clearly benefit from switching tyres in 2008. does that in any way detract from casey's title? no! it doesn't!! he was right to be annoyed - imbalances are part of the game, and casey was very good that year. he deserved that title! valentino also faced the bike merchant allegations in spades of course, but young champions are particularly vulnerable to this kind of discourse. they're less established in the sport, more likely to attract detractors who are determined to prove they can't live up to the legends of the past... after 2006, everybody more or less agreed that it was a bit of a lucky title, but hayden was so popular and people were so pleased for him that it was just treated as a feel-good story - which it wasn't in the same way with surly young casey. no matter! who cares what people think! if your opponent has a bad day, you need to take the opportunity presented to you and press home the advantage. if your opponent has a bad year, even better. no sitting around worrying whether history is going to take your accomplishments seriously... it's like hayden said at assen 2006 when valentino broke his right hand and left ankle. from the oxley reference book: '[valentino] finished the race in eighth, which put him 46 points behind hayden. "when that rossi guy is down, you gotta jump on him!" he grinned'. brutal, but that's the game
also, I'll say it: I reckon both joan and fabio have probably had their fair share of bad luck to compensate by now. enough
#cut two long paragraphs from this is all I'll say#the thing is most motogp discourse doesn't actually annoy me#but if you can find the right way to remind me of sports discourse that HAS driven me crazy over the years. well#heartbreaking: local blogger might not be getting their first born son out of honda after all#averaging a slightly odd number of kevin schwantz mentions in the last few days but in each case it IS relevant#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#you CANNOT be apologetic over good luck as an athlete. you can't do it!! you have to be an entitled dickhead you deserved that good luck!!#actually it's right and true and valid that your main competitors got injured just when you hit the stride b/c it's your destiny to win!!#tell yourself some stupid kinda fucked up lie to trick your brain into thinking you should be winning everything forever...#there was recently such a good example of this in a non-motogp sport and as sweet and charming the self deprecation was... BAD idea#pecco sometimes is a bit on the edge for me but he stays on the right side of the line mostly. he's not cocky but he can be arrogant#he's got something to casey to him in the withdrawn surliness. if you poke them too much they will bite your fingers off#calling out that journalist in the presser for saying he wouldn't want marc as a teammate might have been a touch pathetic#but also showed he had that dog in him. a pathetic half-drowned dog constantly in need of cpr is still a dog#current tag
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Girl help, I keep assuming the worst in others o(-(
#it’s getting annoying now#brain: hey don’t interact with that person cuz they’re planning on tricking you and making you look stupid#brain: hey those group of people are totally throwing shade towards you#based on WHAT brain???#raaaggffd#I wish acknowledging thoughts as irrational would stop those thoughts from happening#rozu thoughts
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fashion disaster or icon? same thing i think,,,
#one piece#fanart#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#one piece fanart#usopp#i love him a LOT and yet i draw him not enough#im on dressrosa now and i gotta say law is my newest meow meow and i love him#probably will draw him next lol#like his hat is so ugly and stupid im sorry.... but nonetheless i love him#anyway im trying to work on my poses and anatomy and im hoping i can trick my brain into practicing it by disguising it as op fanart
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TRICK OR TREAT :3
The baddies™️
#everytime i see these guys it reminds me to rewatch 5ds because#my stupid baby brain did not take in ANY of this arc#theyre so fun to draw tho#especially primo#hes a sopping wet cat in a cardboard box#trick or treat 2023#aporia#z-one#primo
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my friend did the dr strange portal trick on the enemy spawn and... mantis walks through. we thought that was it, and 3 seconds later adam walks through it
me: why is it always the guardians. why are they stupid
my other friend: according to the mcu both of them are stupid so its in character
#egg plays marvel rivals#the spider team is equally stupid its so embarassing#we thought no one would walk in and#boom! spidey; peni and venom ALL walk in#are y'all okay do you all really have spiders for brains#the thing about this is my friend is trying to gain proficiency on strange so does this trick all the time in qp#we're constantly amazed at how people still fall for it tbh#when i say its always the guardians i really mean its always the guardians LMFAO#i cant count the amount of times they just fkin dropped#starlord gets saved because he can fly but literally everyone else is a gone case
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