#study me also works very well as an intern-core song

[herosplatling-replica]

horrid angst idea: what if edega only liked the intern because they weren't bogged down by stress and were a "perfect machine" but this unintentionally makes the intern have an identity crisis where they don't know if they are meant to be a perfect working robot or if they can live a normal humanish life?

im legit in the process of writing something in this vein but it's not ready to share yet so instead: have this

(HUMANOID)

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Three Asks

It’s been a while since we answered some asks so today and maybe tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, we’ll collect some and answer them since we’ve gotten while a few in the last two or three weeks.

In today’s post I picked out the three most recent asks we’ve received, two of which are ones I’d usually just delete because answering is pointless but one of them showcased a popular pattern so we decided to reply just this once. So this time around the questions are about Namjoon and Seokjin, next time we’ll do ones about Tae and Jimin (and vmin), and so on.

Ask 1 - Did Namjoon have to bring up the criticism he received in 2015/16 in the Juju Chang interview?

Ask 2 and 3 - questions from either diet solos (someone who isn’t quite a solo stan just yet but exhibits the same thought patterns as solos do) or full on solo stans.

From anon: So you must have seen their interview alongside the President right on a news show? Most of it was fine and I liked how involved they were especially JK, but a point Namjoon made is what I'm kinda dicey about. He addressed that they were called out for WoH lyrics but the thing is I'm not sure if it needed to be brought up. Especially in American media and the way they contextualize things..

Obviously he meant that they grew from it but not sure if that was the way to put it I guess?

I will admit, there aren’t many times when asks that get sent to us annoy me, but this one in conjunction with the absolute nonsense that took place about this on twt just made my blood boil. Let’s look at the question and answer so we have full context when it comes to the interview and then, after that, we’ll look at the greater context of why Namjoon saying what he did is significant and a big deal.

Juju Chang: You guys are an all male band and, let’s face it, Korea, historically, has been a very male dominated culture and yet here at the UN one of the core values in Sustainable Development is educating women and having gender equality. You have a lot of female fans. What would you say to them about gender equality and working towards that?

Namjoon: Personally, I received a lot fo criticism regarding misogyny in 2015 and 2016, which led me to get my lyrics reviewed by a women’s studies professor. That experience, in turn, was an opportunity for me to self-reflect and question whether I’d been insensitive toward gender equality. I want to do the best I can to take interest in the topic, learn and make improvements. That’s my perspective now. 

Namjoon used a personal story as framework to showcase that even someone like him, a man in a position of power/influence from a country which, as the interviewer explained, is very male dominated can learn, grow and, in the long run, contribute to change. It takes tremendous bravery to do something like this, to not only admit that you made such a mistake, but also to take it and grow from it, take the time to reflect and strive to better yourself to never repeat it again. And also talk about doing so not only during an international broadcast but also while your own president sits right there next to you.

Perhaps there are a relatively big number of countries in the west where equality is much closer to being a reality, where it is a core value to respect woman, one that you are raised with, but here the context was specifically BTS and their background, their country and their culture. From K-ARMY we know that things have taken a turn for the worse in Korea when it comes to women’s rights and the behavior of men toward them, how feminism is treated essentially as a dirty word and you will get hunted down for using it or for behaving in a feminist manner. Namjoon himself was placed on some list made by misogynists labeling him as a dirty, dirty feminist. The same men who even went after the military to get them to stop using a hand gesture which could, if you really want to, be used to make fun of a man for a small d*ck. In polls men in their 20s and 30s have voted being against feminism and I don’t mean just like 10 or 20% of voters, but rather 50-70%, even some presidential candidates have apparently been revealed as anti-feminists.

Circling back to Namjoon, having this context, do you now get why it was a big thing for him to say this, why it makes him a role model and why it was important to do so? Besides this isn’t just about the WoH lyrics which, to be frank, were never an actual issue but instead were made into one (the line I know that usually get’s brought up most is “The girls are equations, and us guys are solutions” which, if you think about it, actually means that boys and girls are equal since 2+5=7, the equation and the solution are the same, and also the song is satire about hormonal boys and their behavior which people have decided to ignore for the sake of sitting on their high horses instead). Namjoon wasn’t even the only member credited for the lyrics yet he took the blame upon himself, used this to better himself even though we know 2015 was an extremely dark time for him. But he is the leader, he took responsibility and he grew from it. He stands as example of how change is possible even in a country that is male dominated and misogynistic.

From anon: Reading your post about My universe I can’t but be heavy hearted. 

It’s such a beautiful song but Jin not having almost any lines ruined the experience for me. He deserves so much more than being a mere backup vocal. Same goes to Jimin but I’m not as effected as Jin, since we’ve all seen a pattern there. 

We know the boys decide collectively decide LD and how it fits their personalities and voices but I can’t but feel icky about Dynamite, not today, BS&T and now MY. 

I truly hope this doesn’t continue and BH decides to respect Jin more as an artist. He’s one of the biggest reasons the group is where it is now.

Though I can’t say with 100% certainty that this comes from someone that has consumed too much solo stan “content”, it does very much feel like it and the only reason why I’m even answering this is that I’d like to highlight something, a pattern we've seen a million times over for years now in regard to line distribution but that is even more glaring and flawed in this case, after we’ve seen how My Universe was recorded:

“We know the boys collectively decide” and yet “and BH decides to respect Jin more”, with this you’re basically saying that you know all the members, including Seokjin, are involved BUT since giving him and the others slack for it would make you look bad, you instead throw blame at BH, which in this case had no say in the line distribution. That choice was Christ Martin’s to make. If you already complain about line distribution, at least have the guts to direct your hate at the people you just said yourself make the choice--the members. Solos already belittle Seokjin’s efforts as it is, and constantly demand an acting debut of him which basically, to me, just comes across as them wanting him to act because they don’t value his singing and music, so would it be really that farfetched for them to also hate on him for, what, not speaking up and demanding more to satisfy you?

Seokjin was so happy and excited while recording My Universe, while meeting Chris Martin, someone he’s admired and been a fan of for so long. He gave his best while recording and sounded absolutely marvelously, and yet instead of celebrating him, his voice, and what we do hear of him, you just focus on the negatives.

BH isn’t perfect by any means, don’t even try to come into our asks calling me a company stan or whatever because I’m far from it, but in this case they had nothing to do with it. Coldplay and Chris Martin did. We saw all the members record the chorus, and we heard it, we saw and heard Seokjin sing absolutely beautifully and get praise for it, and we saw how happy this collab has made him. Why can’t you just let this be a happy time, why must you immediately search for things to be negative about?

Would I have liked so hear more of his voice on My Universe? Obviously, I even said as much in my post about the song. I love Seokjin and his voice a lot, he is my bias wrecker for a reason. But the song has already happened, been recorded, mastered, and released. What will a negativity parade change? What? Absolutely nothing except for make him feel bad because you can’t just say “Seokjin did amazingly, I love his voice”, no, you have to go around yelling “OMG he is being cut from the song because BH hates him”. What does that do for him? Like really, tell me, because I don’t get it.

And if my opinion isn’t valid enough for you, it is, after all, just an opinion, take Seokjin’s opinion about the collab instead:

Or asks such as this one:

From anon: I honestly can’t wait for Seokjin to go solo one day. Go where he’s appreciated for his talents and musicality, not cuz he’s just a “hyung” or “comic relief” or “WWH”.

Where, tell me, has he ever expressed an interest in going solo? No, I’m serious, where, because all I know is that he is happy with his members, with what he does, that he enjoys making music and getting more involved than he used to. Just the other day during the interview with Juju Chang he spoke about how he misses the old times where he could go for soju and food with Yoongi to spend some time together.

And just a few years before that Yoongi said that Seokjin has been good from the beginning, and there are tons of other examples of the members praising Seokjin in terms of his voice and musicality. When he was going through burnout last year, Bang PD encouraged him to channel his thoughts and feelings into music, recommended him a producer he thought work well with him, and Seokjin said it really did help him. And we got Abyss as result from it all, a gorgeous and raw song. 

Yes, he gets praise for being a good hyung, because guess what, he is a good hyung. Maybe for you that’s not good enough, but he’s proud of it, has always taken the fact that he’s the eldest seriously even when goofing around with his members. How is that a bad thing?

Seokjin loves his members and they love him. Seokjin loves ARMY and we love him back tenfold. Just because solos hate the members and aren’t satisfied with Seokjin, how is that my issue or even his? If you’re a genuine fan of his, support his hard work, support all his contributions to BTS’ music, their performances, their dancing, and everything else. Because he is part of BTS regardless if you like it or not, and as far as we are aware, he doesn’t plan on changing that any time soon, or at all. 

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Jo’s Top 10 of 2020

I see lots of artists doing that thing where they post a piece from each month of the year... unfortunately my content creation isn’t necessarily consistent and it’s hard to track what month individual fic chapters were posted in, but I figured I’d do something similar and post my Top 10 pieces of content I created in 2020, what they’re about and why I love them. I actually did get a fair amount done this year thanks to the lockdown, but I’ve narrowed it down to these ten that I’d like to reflect on. (To be fair, I’m probably forgetting something huge. Feel free to leave comments if you think I passed over something important lol.)

10. Friendship in the Horde (meta): This is something I’d wanted to write for a while but finally got around to finishing in February. It’s basically a sociology paper lmao, an analysis of the social hierarchies and systems of the Horde. It was also a convenient excuse for me to gush about Catralonnie, an underrated (friend)ship. But honestly this was an important piece for me because I have always identified with the Horde characters way more than any of the rebels (other than Adora, who grew up in the Horde) and part of why is how they are in an unsafe environment and end up forming relationships that are helpful for survival but hinder them psychologically. And I think to understand the Horde characters and really evaluate their motives and choices you need to understand this first.

9. The Sting in My Eyes: On the surface this is just a run of the mill hurt/comfort oneshot, but it was a really important post-canon processing fic for me. I had a lot of feelings about Catra’s relationships with Shadow Weaver and Melog in season 5, particularly about how Catra must have felt really conflicted after Shadow Weaver told her what she wanted to hear all those years but in a way that felt unearned and out of the blue. It was really cathartic for me to write a scene where she struggles with those mixed feelings but has Adora and Melog to help her process them. And I had long associated the song the title is from with Catra and Shadow Weaver’s relationship, and the way she died trying to redeem herself really solidified that connection.

8. Hail Mary, chapter 6: This was supposed to be a short chapter mostly about the backstory between Catra and Scorpia in this au, with some Catradora yearning thrown in. It evolved into a massive, sprawling thing that is very atmospheric in terms of how the setting and vibes are described and how in the moment it feels. Hail Mary is like that sometimes but that type of narration is usually about football games rather than parties, so this chapter was a fun change of pace in many ways. It was really nostaglic for me to write too, the nerves of being a teenager at a party with your crush and how intense everything feels. And the Scorptra stuff really is delicious, it was nice seeing them have that conversation they never got to have in canon and truly make up, and the tiny sliver I added of Catra’s earlier history was heartbreaking in the best way. So this was not what I intended to write, but it turned out way better for it.

7. A Better Son or Daughter (AMV): I’ve done other Adora AMVs, but this one is really my iconic piece. The song is perfect for Adora, so perfect it’s on Noelle’s Adora playlist. The vid itself is a character study about Adora’s mental health struggles and the way she represses them, as well as a tribute to her resiliency and her eventual triumph of getting to a better place in her life. This is a song that gives me a lot of feelings and once I was making it about Adora it gave me even more, so this was a very satisfying piece to complete. I wish Noelle had gotten a chance to see it but oh well, maybe down the line.

6. Hail Mary, chapter 12: This is the chapter that much of the fic had been building to, Catra and Adora in conflict because Catra finally got the chance to be Adora’s hero and Adora shot her down. It’s painfully analogous to canon, both in terms of how (I suspect) Catra felt in Thaymor and Adora’s tendency to victim blame because she’s so pragmatic. There’s definitely some tones of Taking Control in there but Lonnie does a much better job of examining Catra’s psychology and needs than Glimmer did in canon (a writing error imo, Glimmer should have had more insight). Adora just wants to help but sometimes in her quest to do so she disenfranchises others, and this was a much needed look at that aspect of her character. It’s also an excellent illustration of what it’s like to play a peacekeeping role in an abusive household and how stressful it is trying to protect others while also protecting yourself.

5. Unstoppable (AMV): This is not my favorite Catra AMV I’ve ever done, but it might be the cleverest. The soundtrack is a song about mental illness masquerading as a song about being a bad bitch, which is basically Catra in a nutshell. The lyrics are incredibly fitting for her and her arc as it develops over seasons 1-4. The vid itself takes a hard turn in the interpretation of the lyrics, going from talking about how no one can stop Catra to how she can’t stop herself because she’s in such a terrible sunk cost fallacy spiral, and I think I got several death threats over that twist lmao. As someone who primarily deals in angst, there’s hardly a better compliment to be paid.

4. Demons, chapter 31: This one got real dark on me. The concept of this chapter was originally an examination of how comparing abuse can get really dicey but you also have to respect that other people have had different experiences from you and you have to be careful not to equate things or make it sound like you’re talking over someone else. I guess it’s also a bit of a look at how autistic people (like myself) will often explain why they can empathize so others know they understand rather than saying empty platitudes, but that can come off as insensitive or like they’re making things about them. I mean, in this case Adora kinda was making things about her, but she was provoked into it by a parade of comments insinuating she didn’t suffer at all, which was also unfair. Anyway it’s one of the more important Catradora fights in Demons and something I’d written bits of over a year prior, it was that important to the plot, but it also took a turn I was not originally planning. I finished the chapter when I was in a really bad depressive and self-loathing spiral and that bled onto the page, but it worked perfectly for Catra in this scenario... that push and pull of feeling like the world has hurt and victimized you mixed with knowing you’ve done some bad things yourself and feeling like you don’t have a leg to stand on when mourning the ways you’ve been hurt. It’s intense as all fuck but it’s excellent.

3. Hail Mary, chapter 11: Speaking of dark Catra content, this chapter... whew. It was really something else, to read and to write. I have written flashbacks in Demons that are more detailed and even include explicit violence but because those scenes are always in flashback form I never really got the chance to sit in the head of an abuse victim waiting for the other shoe to drop for an entire chapter like I did here. It’s quite different from the rest of Hail Mary stylistically and is both highly sensory and extremely internalized. It took me back to some terrifying moments in my own life so it was difficult but also extremely cathartic to write. It’s important too because it really sets up where Catra was at mentally heading into her big fight with Adora, and that chapter is in Adora POV. This chapter is ranked so high simply because it’s... polished, as @malachi-walker put it. It almost is its own story within the story and really noteworthy as a piece all its own.

2. Demons, chapter 26: This chapter is very similar thematically to Hail Mary 12, just based in the canonverse. It deals with one of the core (but highly neglected by fandom) conflicts between Catra and Adora, where they both need to feel like they can take care of and protect the other but also detest feeling weak or vulnerable themselves. It leads to Adora’s ego making Catra feel disrespected and Catra’s behavior confusing Adora and making her think she’s an ungrateful brat rather than someone who needs so badly to be needed, just like her. There’s definitely some power struggles in this chapter but finally they’re able to get to the heart of it and seeing them talk it out is so satisfying. Getting this chapter published was also important to me on a personal level because, like I said, this aspect of their conflict and relationship is rarely acknowleged for how important it is when really it’s one of the deepest conflicts between them in the series. It’s a scene I started writing pretty much as soon I knew I was extending the fic into something longer because I just needed them to have this conversation, so finishing it was so satisfying.

1. Satisfaction, chapter 3: This chapter took me a really long time to write, both in terms of time to get it published and time I actually spent working on it. It’s the crown jewel of a fic that’s really important to me and I had to get it just right, so I spent more time agonizing over every detail and rewriting things to get them absolutely perfect than I usually do (I’m a perfectionist anyway, but this took it to a whole other level). But in the end it was worth it, because this chapter is damn fine. It’s really hot, as you’d expect from a smut fic, but it’s also an excellent character study of how both Catra and Adora were affected by their abuse and trauma and the issues it raises for them in terms of sex and intimacy. Also, come on, we need more BDSM fics out there that focus on the actual point of it all (the trust involved) and promote communication and do the character work to explain why they might be into it in the first place.

BONUS (from December 31, 2019): One of my favorite pieces of 2020 technically came out in 2019, but I posted it on New Years Eve so most people first saw it in 2020. It’s an absolute banger of an AMV called I’m Not Jesus that’s all about Catra and Adora’s anger towards Shadow Weaver and their refusal to forgive their abuser. Funny enough this came out before Adora’s iconic “I will never forgive you” line, and Shadow Weaver definitely made things more complicated with how she went out, but I think the sentiment still applies.

[pagingevilspawn]

Would you please write a fic about alex and jo help their daughter with her homework, they would be kinds cute help them study

cross my heart, hope to die, please stick this pencil in my eye

there’s a reason this took me forever. reason number one, two, and three; proofs. i was unable to write this because of proofs. i got this ask and LIKE A CHILD decided that i wanted to make my fictional characters suffer as much as i did. so once i was done with proofs, i had to write something about proofs, which made me exhausted because i hate even talking about proofs

that made no sense, but here’s this thing that i made. lots of it was my real life monologue, screaming at my computer bc of fucking proofs. enjoy. (also, let’s appreciate the fact that i updated three whole days in a row)

(also, another installment of the “payton loves evan peters too much” series, where i name jolex babies after his AHS characters)

Alex Karev sat in the drivers side of his SUV, making a right onto the upcoming street as he listened to the song playing on the radio. He drummed his fingers along the steering wheel absentmindedly, pulling up to the curbside of James Madison Middle School, waiting patiently in his seat until he heard the five minute warning bell ring.

When the loud bell goes off, he exits the car and makes his way to the other side, learning against the door so his kids would know it was him. Too many parent’s owned black range rovers, and the last thing Alex needed was for either one of his kids to climb into the back seat of some stranger's car. 

He didn’t need to wait long for children to start piling out of the school in large crowds. Middle school was so different from elementary, for his kids at least. He remembers when they would come sprinting out of the building as if their lives depended on it, but now they just casually strolled, no matter how much they liked or disliked school. 

A few minutes later he catches sight of his daughter, who’s eyes light up when she sees him. He wasn’t supposed to pick them up today, the nanny was. But he had gotten off of work early and had insisted with Jo that he be the one to pick up the kids. It was a task he wished he got to do more often. 

“Hey.” his daughter greets him with a smile on her face. He steps aside and lets her enter the side door, where she flops her black backpack on the floor and settles into the seat, pulling out her phone and begins to start scrolling through it. 

“Dad!” he hears another voice exclaim, quickly tracing it to his son, who was currently running to the car, backpack bouncing up and down behind him. The sixth grader moved across the property quickly, greeting his dad with a fist bump before sliding into the back seat.

He closes both of his kids doors before making his way into the driver's side, revving up the car’s engine before he drives down the long block, whatever music his daughter decided on playing through the radio. 

Alex winces when the music begins to blare through the car, “Brynn, turn that crap down would you?”

Brynn’s face looks scandalized. “It’s not crap. It’s art.” she emphasizes, turning it up even louder and screaming the words. (Poor Brynn couldn’t sing, and she knew it)

“I came in like a wreeckingggg ballll I never hit so harddd in loveeee all i wanted was to break your walls all you ever did wre-e-e-ck meee.” she yells, using her phone as a microphone, hair flying around wildly as she moved up and down, side to side in her seat.  

Alex rolls his eyes, unable to hide the smile on his lips. His wife and daughter were too much alike sometimes. He turns the knob himself, sending his daughter a look, silently telling her not to do it again. 

“I think it’s crap. Just like how I think you sound like a dying cat whenever you sing.” his son pipes in from the back, a signature Karev smirk plastered on his lips as he keeps his gaze locked on his phone. 

“Shut up Rory,” she sneers, “Nobody likes you.” 

Rory fakes a laugh, looking back to his phone, and then to the scenery outside his window. They passed house after house until they finally reached their destination, John Quincy Adams Elementary School.

“Wait here,” Alex instructs the two kids, who murmurs their we know’s, more focused on the devices in their hand to the words coming out of his mouth. 

He makes his way to the ‘log cabin’ that sat at the front of the school, giving a friendly smile to the woman sitting at the sign out table, a crappy fold out plastic table that had definitely seen better days. “Faye and Bridgette Karev.” 

The woman slides the forms across the table, handing him a pen. “Sign here and here. I’ll go get them right now.” She stands up from her seat and heads inside to tell the two girls that their father had arrived.

Alex sprawls his messy signature onto the page, huffing before leaning up against the gate. His girls could take anywhere from thirty seconds to five minutes to pack up their things. Luckily today didn’t seem to be the latter, because before he knew it, the two youngest Karev’s came bouncing towards him. 

“Daddy!” “Daddy!” 

The seven year olds gave him a large hug, showing him matching toothless smiles. When Jo and him found out that she was pregnant for a third time, they were overjoyed. They had always wanted more than two kids, but hadn’t really been actively trying. They were excited to expand their family of four into a family of five. When they discovered that she was not carrying not one, but two babies, they were shocked. Jo wasn’t expecting to get pregnant at thirty-nine, much less with twins. Brynn was seven at the time, and Rory was five, so they were worried about how their kids would react when they found out two new babies would be joining the Karev household. 

Rory --surprisingly-- took the news really well. He was excited with the fact that he could have baby brothers. (Oh well. Alex Karev only seemed to make girls, Rory being the one exception.) 

Brynn was a bit more reluctant. She had heard from her friends at school how much babies cried and stole all the attention. She loved both her parent’s equally, but she was a Daddy’s girl through and through. The thought of losing both of her parent’s focus was terrifying. What if her Daddy called her new siblings names like Bug or Princess? Those were her names, and her names only. She couldn’t let the new babies steal her names. 

It took a while, but after multiple long talks and countless acts of reassurance, but Brynn eventually came around to the idea. Before they knew it, Brynn was just as excited for the upcoming babies as they were. Jo was worried throughout her whole pregnancy. Since she was almost forty, she was now considered to have a geriatric pregnancy. Just the word ‘geriatric’ did nothing to soothe any woman’s nerves, but add that to the fact that Jo was a surgeon and knew all the risks of pregnancy, and she was practically a mess the first few months. As it turned out, the twins ended up being her easiest pregnancy, since Brynn decided to make her entrance into the world four weeks early and while she was carrying Rory she had the occasional spotting that terrified her to her core every time, worried that she was miscarrying. 

The twins ended up being born at thirty-five weeks, perfectly healthy. The only thing that gave Jo any trouble at all was the severe morning sickness, which turned out to be all day sickness. 

But in the end it was way more than worth it. Faye was pretty much Jo reincarnated, just like Brynn. Every aspect about her was exactly like her mom. Her hair, her eyes, her face shape, chin. The only thing that she inherited was the Karev crooked grin, which all of their children had. (She didn’t even have a big Karev head when she was born!) 

Bridgette on the other hand, was all Alex, except for the eye color. Between her potty mouth, sassy attitude, and overall appearance, she was the female mini evil-spawn. 

The Evil Spawn Jr, title belonged to Rory, who was basically the male version of Bridgette. Same spunk, same mischievous smirk. Jo was always telling him that she didn’t know what she did to deserve three devil’s in her house. Alex always found that one really funny. 

“You guys got everything?” he questions the two, who nod their heads up and down enthusiastically, skipping to the car and greeting their siblings. 

He drives the twenty-five minutes back to his house, the twins chattering about in the back seat. 

“And then Julie showed her her math problems, and I tried to tell her they were wrong, but she just wouldn’t listen!”

“Tommy was sooo annoying. I kept telling him to stop making noises with his pencil, but he just rolled it back and forth so many times!”

Alex laughs under his breath, listening partially to the twins’s conversation. They sounded exactly like how Cristina and Mer used to rant about completely different things to each other, so it never failed to make him think back to the ‘olden days’ as he and Meredith liked to call them. 

If someone were to tell cocky, intern Alex that he would be happily married to the love of his life for (legally) fifteen years, father of four kids, and lived in a house that literally had a white picket fence on the outside of it, he would’ve sent them to a long term psychiatric care facility, because there was no way he would ever have that life. (A life he always secretly wanted, tucked into the very tiniest corner of his brain so it could never venture farther than a fleeting thought here or there). 

“--We’re here,” he calls out, shutting off the engine as he parks in the driveway, the kids unbuckling their seatbelts and scrambling out of the car, eager to escape the confines of the vehicle and enjoy the peace of their rooms. 

Once all five were inside, he watched as the four children parted ways. “Faye, Bridge, you have thirty minutes of reading down here. Ror, you have that history test you need to study for, and Brynn, you know what you need to do.” he says, his two oldest tromping up the stairs as the twins take their place in the living room on separate seats, already engrossed in the books they needed to read as part of their daily homework assignments. 

Alex lets out a tired sigh as he flops onto the couch, more than tempted to grab the remote from the side table and flick on ESPN, but knew that he couldn’t. As much as the girls loved reading, they got distracted from books really easily. Loud horns, cheers, and buzzers wouldn’t be the way to go if he wanted any work to get done. Instead, he plucks the iPad from the coffee table, picking up where he left off that morning with an online medical article.

Before he knew it, Faye and Bridgette’s timer had rung out and they started on their math homework on the kitchen island, something that they finished with ease. Another trait Alex was grateful the children inherited from Jo, her smarts. (Specifically in math)

“Ugh!” he hears a loud exclaim from upstairs, causing him to look up from the device in his hands and glance towards the steps, half expecting an angry looking Brynn to come storming out at any moment. He huffs, focusing his attention back to the iPad in hand when no mini Jo comes down. 

“No! There are no other ways!”

Another loud groan of frustration. 

“Son of a butthead! There are NO more ways! None! I don't know how the frick to prove that the freakin angle is congruent!”

Alex debates ignoring it and letting his daughter figure it out on his own, that is until he hears something hit a wall. He quickly makes his way up the stairs and to Brynn’s bedroom, standing in the doorway for a few seconds, trying to observe the scene. 

Brynn’s normally pristine room had books scattered on the ground, blankets thrown to the side, and an open notebooks posed at an awkward angle on the floor. 

Well, at least he knew what hit the wall.  

Brynn sat on her bed, literally glaring at her computer screen, partially debating whether or not to throw the expensive device across the room. She didn’t break eye contact, as if she was in a staring contest. Alex wanted to laugh, but he knew a deathly glare would be sent his way if he did. 

He knocks on the wood door, sending a questioning glance Brynn’s way as she finally breaks her stare with the inanimate object. “Everything okay?”

The brunette huffs loudly, bouncing back onto the bed as she lets out a groan. 

“I hate proofs.” she turns her head to look at her dad, Jo’s signature puppy dog face plastered on her features. He couldn’t help but chuckle. It was crazy how much Brynn looked like Jo. Add that onto the fact that she too shared a love for flannels and jeans, she was pretty much what he imagined a fourteen year old Jo to look like. When he first found out that Brynn was going to be a girl, he said to Jo, ‘I’m gonna need a gun.’ 

Luckily, that never happened, partially because of the fact that Alex hated guns and Brynn had yet to have a boyfriend. He was more than thankful for that. Especially since he’d seen couples at Brynn’s school canoodling in what they thought was private, even though they were in full view of everyone. He’d be fine with his not-so-little little girl dating when she was twenty-five, no earlier. Any man before that would not be very fortunate. 

“I’ll help,” Alex says, taking a spot next to her and Brynn begins to show he dad the problems on her screen, going on about how she was struggling to figure it out. 

Shouldn’t be too hard, right?

____

Jo Karev was thrilled when Bailey offered to take over her service for the rest of the day. Her husband had gotten off early, and Bailey knew how much of a struggle it was to spend quality time with family as a surgeon. 

She thanked Bailey so many times she lost count, all while boasting a large smile. She couldn’t remember the last time both she and Alex had been home before five o’clock. All she wanted was to go home, snuggle with her babies, and spend time with her husband. Well, her babies weren’t technically babies anymore, Brynn was fourteen, Rory was nearly twelve, and the twins were seven, but nevertheless, they would always be her babies. (Who cared if Rory was five foot three and already almost as tall as her? He was still such a mommy’s boy.)

She drove home with a smile on her face, humming along to the songs on the radio. She was so happy. She wanted to take her kids in her arms, and watch action movies on the couch while they pigged out on pizza together. 

When she pulls up in the drive she practically bounces up the steps to the house, swinging open the door and dropping her coat carelessly onto the rack. She hadn’t texted Alex to let him know she was coming home early, in hopes to make it a joyful surprise. 

Her heart stopped momentarily at the sound of yelling coming from upstairs. Arguments between Brynn and Alex were few and far between, but when they did happen, they were nasty. Alex always felt like crap for days afterward and Brynn stayed quiet, both at home and at school. 

“Do the reflexive property again!”

“Dad we already did that!”

“Well do it again!”

“Why?!”

“Do you see any other way to do it?”

“How is that going to help!”

“It just is!”

“Dad, we've done the reflexive property five times now!”

“You think I don’t know that!”

“Say that segment DA is congruent to AD.”

“But-”

“There are literally no other fucking ways to do it! It’s fucking shit! Thats what it is!”

“You act as if I didn’t already freakin know that!”

A loud groan. 

“What the fuck even is this one! We’ve managed to do three of them already. Try proving the triangles congruent now. Push random ones, like Side-Angle-Side.” 

“This is crap! ‘You don’t have enough proof to show that the blah blah blah.’ Stupid freaking thing! Freaking worthless!”

Jo is unable to suppress her giggle, clasping a hand over her mouth, trying not to make too much noise. It was a relief to know that the current screaming match going on wasn’t an argument. 

“They’ve been at that for an hour and a half now.” she hears her son pipe in, drawing her attention to where he sat on the couch. 

Jo sets her bag down on the table, greeting her son with a large hug, “Hi bubs.” she mumbles into his hair, feeling his arms wrap back around her. In private, Rory was the biggest cuddler, touchy-feely person you’d ever met, but in front of his friends he tried way too hard to show he was ‘too cool’ for hugging his mom, so Jo took in these moments and held them close to her heart.

“An hour and a half huh?” she chuckles, running a hand through her son’s gelled hair. 

Rory snickers, hazel eyes shining with mischief, “Yeah, dad won’t stop cursing and Tissy just keeps screaming alongside him,” he sits back onto the couch. “I’m surprised neither one of them had lost their voice yet.” he smirks his crooked Karev smirk, focusing his attention on the TV where he had opened up netflix, where he was currently binging Bates Motel. The name ‘Tissy’ came from when he was younger and couldn’t for the life of him say either Brynn nor Sissy. It seemed to have stuck all these years, and he was the only one who ever called his older sister that, even ten years later.

She sees him cringe, “I never called you mother right?” he asks, eyes not leaving the screen, where a certain Norman Bates is practically spooning his own mother in the bed, claiming that he couldn’t sleep. 

Jo snorts, ruffling his hair fondly, “Definitely not. And if you ever do, you’re dead Ror, hear me?”

Rory rolls his eyes playfully, giving his mom a grin. “I won’t. Promise.”

Jo heads up the stairs, the loud yells continuing to echo through the halls, which she chooses to ignore. 

“Dad for the fiftieth freaking time-”

“--What’s going on here?” Jo questions, causing both her husband and daughter to break away their concentration from the computer screen. 

Brynn’s face lights up at the sight of her mom standing in the doorway, more than thankful to have someone who actually knew stuff help her with her math. “Mom!” she exclaims, getting up from her place on the bed to give her mother a hug. 

“Hey baby. Care to explain to me why the second I walk through the door I'm greeted with screaming?” She questions, eyebrows raised as she sees Alex sheepishly avoid eye contact, suddenly finding the pictures that hung on the wall very interesting. 

Brynn smirks, “Well, Dad sucks at math so-”

“--Hey!” Alex interrupts, crossing his arms over his chest. “I haven’t done this crap in like thirty years!” He defends himself.

Jo rolls her eyes and smiles of her own gracing her lips as she reaches the bed and takes a look at the problems on the computer. “Proofs?” she asks from confirmation, earning a nod from her husband and daughter. 

She hums, “Given: segment CA bisects angle BAD and segment CA bisects BCD. Prove: triangle ABC is congruent to triangle ADC.” she murmurs to herself.

The brunette laughs when she sees the fact that the pair had put down some form of the ‘reflexive property’ not one, not two, but seven times.

She grins triumphantly as she remembers how to do the problem, the skills seemingly coming back to her after years of them being dormant. “Next statement is angle BCA is congruent to DCA because…” she scrolls through the possible options the box provided, smirking when she found the right one. “An angle bisector divides an angle into two congruent angles.”  

She watches as an angle pops up on the screen, only encouraging her to continue, “Then… angle DAC is congruent to angle BAC because an angle bisector divides an angle into two congruent angles.” 

Another angle comes up. 

“Finally,” she smirks, glancing to the side of for a brief second to take in the draw dropped stares of the two behind her. Brynn was a whiz at math like her mom, but proofs was something she’d been struggling with since they’d started learning them yesterday. Geometry was no joke. Her and her dad had already gotten almost all of the problems done, but it had taken so long to do a few measly problems that they’d lost track of just how long they'd been sitting in the room, arguing back and forth over different possibilities to try. 

“Triangle ABC is congruent to triangle ADC, reason being Angle-Side-Angle.” 

She grins, wiping her hands together as she hits the submit button, a large green check with a correct! floating on the screen, going over the ways to solve the problem. 

Alex glares at her. He’d been working on these fucking proofs for so long now, and Jo just comes in and completes it in less than a minute?

“I hate you.” he gruffs, still glaring at both his wife and the computer. 

Jo giggles, leaning over and pecking her husband’s lips. “Love you too.” 

She begins to walk out of the room, stopping and calling out over her shoulder as she reaches the doorway, “Now you just need to make sure the twins did their homework!”

[twomoonstwosuns]

studying.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warnings: so much smut (18+), fluff

word count: 3.0k

a/n: pretty much pure smut, not a lot of plot. also fluffy. i have not written smut like this before so i really hope it’s good and i hope you enjoy! feedback always welcome and so, so appreciated. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Turned on was an understatement.

You couldn’t remember ever being so worked up. You had a pretty decent sex life, a better one since you started seeing Poe, which got even greater when you started dating and seeing him more. Being in a fight then being in a car accident, you were too beat up to do anything physical. It also didn’t help that Poe practically waited on you hand and foot whenever you were with him and was extra sweet and attentive. It made you want to jump his bones.

You were done being coddled. You were in the mood to be manhandled.

You would physically beg for it if it came to that.

Stretched out on Poe’s couch, you had your legs laid across your boyfriend’s lap with books and notecards propped up on your stomach. Poe stared at his laptop, tapping his fingers lightly against the top of the keyboard. He wasn’t reading anything or studying something. He was simply staring.

“You look bored,” you stated, glancing up at him. Poe ran a hand over his jaw, your eyes following every movement and craving the feeling of his stubble against your skin.

“I don’t know why I agreed to give a speech at this conference next weekend.”

“Because you’re amazing? Because you’re passionate? Because people actually listen to you when you speak? I could go on and on.”

“Go ahead sweetheart, keep stroking my ego.”

You nudged him with your foot when he shot you a wink. He knew he was good and passionate and that people listened to him. But he still felt very humbled when people told him that.

Poe shut his laptop and set it aside, reaching forward to finish his glass of water. You watched his shirt ride up just enough to see a sliver of golden skin. His neck bobbed as he swallowed the water and you gulped. God, you wanted him.

Then an idea came to mind.

“If you’re bored, you could quiz me. Help me prep for this test.”

“That sounds just as boring as writing a speech.”

You sat up, pulling your feet off of Poe’s lap and crossing them underneath you. “It is, but I can make it worth your while.”

Intrigued, Poe turned his body so he was fully facing you, his arm draped over the back of the couch. “How so?”

You smirked. “For every question I get wrong, I’ll take off a piece of clothing.”

Poe chuckled lightly. “And if you get the question right?”

“Then you’ll take something off.”

“And what happens when we run out of clothes?”

You shrugged innocently, your eyes hungry as you looked at him. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Poe considered your idea. It was a win-win for the both of you, though there would probably be a point where the studying would come to an abrupt halt.

“And actually you know what? We better make it every three questions I get right that you strip.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I’m going to get you naked pretty fast and then it’ll all be over.”

“I’m sure we can find something to do afterwards,” You bit your lip as Poe nodded towards your lap.

“Give me those notecards.”

Twenty minutes later, Poe was shirtless in his sweatpants and you were still dressed. You had moved from the couch, unable to sit still, and paced his living room when you had to give really in depth answers. Poe switched back and forth from your notes to the book, knowing very well that teachers often pulled questions from the book without specifying that it would be on the test.

“How many marketing functions exist?”

You knew the answer, but you were getting bored with studying. The sight of Poe lounging on the couch in just his sweatpants and the idea of even just curling up next to him was making you lose focus. One more right answer would have Poe down to his briefs and your thoughts would go back to being much less innocent. A wrong answer would have you taking off either your shirt or your pants. Poe watched you have your internal battle, his eyebrows raised as he waited for an answer.

“Five.”

“Seven,” Poe smirked. “I know you knew that one.”

“Guess not,” you said in a sing-song voice as you lifted your shirt over your head. The black bra you had on was a little dressier than other ones you had and certainly fancier than what was called for on a lazy weekend, but you woke up that morning with the desire to show off a little bit.

“Is that new?” Poe asked.

“Kind of,” you answered, suddenly feeling a little shy with the way Poe was looking at you. “It’s what I had under my dress after dinner with my family.”

Poe sensed your unease and beckoned you over to him, standing you between his legs as his eyes became level with your stomach.

“You’re beautiful,” he said as his knuckle ran over the few spots on your skin that were still tinged yellow. “You can barely see the bruises anymore.”

“Soon they’ll be gone and it’ll be nothing but a bad memory.”

Poe’s hands held your waist carefully as he pressed his lips to your stomach, the incredibly tender action making your heart pound hard against your chest. You brought a hand up to rest against his neck, fingers grazing the ends of his hair as his lips moved across your bare stomach.

He was so close to where you wanted him yet so far.

“Poe.” Your soft voice brought his attention up to you. Connecting your eyes with his, you leaned up and kissed him deeply, your tongue taking it’s familiar route inside Poe’s mouth as your hands rested on his shoulders. You gently bit his lip as you pulled back and his mouth twitched up into a dazed smile.

“What was that for?”

“You haven’t touched me in nearly two weeks.” Poe exhaled deeply and you shook your head.  “It’s no one’s fault, we were fighting and then my accident happened so we never got our makeup sex.”

Running your hands down his neck, you gave his shoulders a short squeeze before continuing.

“I want you. So bad. I am wound so freaking tight right now that I’m about to snap. So I need you to fuck me and fuck me good. Please.”

Poe chuckled lowly as he stood up, his arms fully trapping you against him.

“Well now, how can I deny that request?”

He brought you into a hungry kiss, his mouth slanting over yours as his tongue invaded your mouth. You pressed yourself against him, your hands trailing from his shoulders down his chest to the band of his bottoms. You pushed his sweatpants down and kicked them away before disconnecting your lips and pushing him onto the couch. You slid your own pants down and straddled his lap, slamming your lips back onto his.

“You tell me if it’s too much for you, ok?” Poe said against your lips, slowing down a second to let you respond. You knew it wouldn’t, your healed body buzzing with a deep desire for him, but you nodded anyway as you rolled your hips down onto his. A satisfied grin crossed your face when he raised his hips to meet yours.

As he moved from your mouth to your jaw, his lips left trails of fire, sucking spots onto your skin with a message that said he missed this too. You captured his lips again as his hands kneaded your breasts through your bra, pulling one of the cups down and pinching your nipple with his fingers. He kissed the skin that spilled over and, as much as you loved it, the need for his skin against yours was too great. You unclasped your bra, flinging it across the room, and Poe’s lips attached to each area of your newly exposed skin.

You rolled your hips over Poe’s, his hardened cock pressing against you and rubbing the rough lace of your underwear against your clit. You palmed him through his briefs, his groan vibrating against your breasts.

“Holy shit Poe, I need you. Fill me up, please.”

Dirty talk wasn’t really your forte. You’ve begged Poe to fuck you before and you made sure to praise him whenever he did something that made your toes curl, but you didn’t often do anything more than that.

You’d have felt a little embarrassed by your desperate brazenness had you not caught the dark blown out look in Poe’s eyes as his lips detached from you and curled into a smirk.

“Say it again,” his voice low and rough and his fingers dipping down into your underwear. You whimpered as they brushed your clit.

“Poe…”

He lowered his mouth onto your neck, your pulse thumping widely against his lips. His fingers ran along your folds. “Say.” Kiss. “It.” Kiss. “Again.”

He sunk a finger into your core as he gently bit down on your collarbone, making you let out a breathy moan. A flood of heat coursed through your body and settled in your core.

“I--fuck Poe,” you whispered breathlessly, your walls clenching around his finger. He had stopped kissing your neck, instead watching your start to fall apart on top of him. “I need your cock. Filling me. Stretching me.”

Poe smirked as he kissed you. You released his cock from his briefs and he removed his fingers and twisted your underwear aside. Your eyes met his, both asking the same question: are you sure?

You waited for his nod before lining him up with your entrance and sinking down onto him, his length and girth the missing piece to your puzzle. He stretched you wonderfully as the ridges and veins of his cock brushed against your walls. You took a second to adjust before rising up and sinking back down onto him. His hands gripped your hips, guiding you as you set the pace, riding him faster. Poe’s hand slithered up your back, twisting it in your hair and gripping tightly. Your nails dug into his shoulders as a strangled cry left your throat, the sound of skin on skin filling the apartment.

“You feel so good, fuck you’re so tight.”

The exertion of riding him began to slow you down. With a bruising grip on your hips, Poe took control and began thrusting up into you. You could feel your stomach tightening, your hand clutching the one on your hip as you were blindsided by a freight train of pleasure. Poe thrusted harder into you as you rode out your orgasm.

After one particularly hard thrust, Poe held you still on his lap, kissing you like his life depended on it. He held you down on his cock and wrapped his arms around your waist, carefully maneuvering himself off of the couch and onto the floor. He pulled out and tapped the outside of your thigh.

“On your knees,” he breathed with a wicked smirk. Your body flushed with lust as you sat up onto your knees, running your lips along his jaw to meet at his mouth. He kissed you sweetly, his hand coming up to gently cup your cheek. Poe grabbed your wrist as you reached for his cock, stopping you and turning you away from him so your back was against his chest.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he said again, and your heart squeezed with how much he cared about your comfort. Still unable to form any coherent words, you simply nodded. Poe slid your underwear down, ripping them off when it became a struggle to get them off in your current position.

“Hey!” You laughed as he flung the flimsy piece of fabric aside. One arm wrapped around your waist to hold you in place as he brought this cock back to your entrance.

“I’ll buy you another pair,” he said as he slid back into you, his hips immediately snapping against yours as he kissed your shoulder.

Hard and fast, he was giving you exactly what you were craving. Every push of his cock against your sweet spot was heightened due to the sensitivity you still felt after your first orgasm and you knew you’d come again quickly. You leaned your arms on his coffee table, needing something to brace yourself against as he pounded into you.

“This what you needed?” Poe panted, bottoming out inside you. “For me to fuck you like this?”

“Yes--Poe, yes, just like that.”

Poe grunted as he felt his release creeping up on him. He squeezed the skin of your ass before his hand came down and swatted it. You gasped in surprise and Poe immediately stopped moving, afraid he might’ve gone a little too far in the heat of the moment. You looked at him over your shoulder, a half smile forming on your face.

“Do it again,” you whispered hoarsely. Poe pushed into you deeply, tenderly rubbing the reddening spot before smacking the same spot again. Poe smirked down at you as you moaned in absolute pleasure.

“Who would’ve thought?” Poe poked fun at you as he punctuated each word with a thrust, his cock deep inside you as he came. You couldn’t come up with a comeback as he smacked your ass one last time, his fingers then sneaking around to your clit and sending you over the edge.

The iron struck white hot in your belly as you cried out, your walls fluttering around him and your legs quaking. You fell forward onto the table, the both of you panting as you caught your breath.

This was what you both needed. Every apology, every ‘I miss you’, every piece of lingering frustration was taken out on each other.

“Oh my god,” you panted as Poe pulled out. He collected you against him and sat onto the floor with his back against the couch. You slumped against his chest, the side of your head resting against his necklace. Poe gently ran his hands down your sides, one hand intertwining with yours while the other lightly tracing the red marks he left on your ass.

“I hate you,” you giggled, squirming at the sting. Poe squeezed your skin slightly, pulling you closer into him when you squirmed again.

“You most certainly do not,” Poe poked the side of your stomach, causing you to giggle again. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a spanking kink?”

You blushed, hiding your face in his chest. He pushed your hair back to try and see your face.

“Come on, don’t be shy now,” he said, tilting your head up to see your cheeks red but a satisfied smile on your face.

“I didn’t know,” you admitted, laughing lightly. Resting your chin on Poe’s chest, you gazed up at him.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, a soft smile on your lips. Poe didn’t need to ask what you were thanking him for specifically. There were numerous meanings behind it and he knew each one. All he did was lean down and press a sure kiss to forehead and then to your lips.

“You want to order pizza?” Poe asked when he pulled back, wiggling his eyebrows. You snickered as you stood up, hauling Poe up with you.

“You do that, I’m going to go clean up.”

You were just about to Poe’s bedroom when he called your name.

“You know you’re going to have to help me write that speech now since you distracted me?” He smirked as he put the phone up to his ear.

You chuckled. “I know. Of course I’ll help you.”

“Also...did you retain any of the stuff I quizzed you on?”

“Yes, though I pretty much knew it all already. I kind of got a couple answers wrong on purpose.”

“I knew it.”

With a wink, you disappeared into his bathroom. You took a washcloth and cleaned up the mess between your thighs, looking at the bruises left behind and  having a very different reaction than the last time you looked at bruises that were on your body. Throwing your hair up, you tossed the cloth into the laundry and dug in Poe’s drawers for a shirt and a pair of boxers. The jingle of Beebs’ collar grabbed your attention as he changed positions on Poe’s bed. Leaning on the bed, you scratched under Beebs’ chin, his eyes closing in content.

“Oh Beebs, I’m sorry we keep having sex in front of you.”

You scooped up Beebs, the affectionate pup licking your face as you brought him out into the kitchen. Poe was redressed and had grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge.

“I think we’re scarring your poor dog,” you said as Poe came up and scratched his dog’s belly. “I’m going to get him a toy as an apology.”

“You don’t have to do that. Besides, he’s got enough toys.”

“A bone then,” you lowered your voice so Beebs wouldn’t get excited over the word ‘bone’. You smiled down at Beebs, rocking him slightly. “And I want to. Because you’re the best dog in the whole world who has the best dad in the whole world.”

You brought Beebs to the living room, setting him down on the floor as you picked up a rope toy to play with. You tossed it and watched him run after it, his tiny fluffy body jiggling with excitement. There was a knock on the door as you plugged Poe’s laptop into its charger and you glanced at the clock above his oven.

“That was, what? Twenty minutes? Impressive.”

Poe grabbed the door, looking back when Beebs let out a high-pitched whine  just in time to see his dog launch himself at you.

“Toddler?” The pizza guy asked, highly amused as he glanced into Poe’s apartment. Poe shook his head with an amused smile as he stepped in front of the guy’s line of sight, knowing there were still clothes strewn around the living room.  

“Hyper dog,” he said, giving the cash to the pizza guy. With a nod of appreciation, Poe shut the door and set the pizza on the counter.

You tossed the toy one more time before getting up and meeting Poe in the kitchen, trading a kiss for a slice of pizza.

You could get used to this domesticity.

tag list [open!] - @ah-callie @darksideofclarke @gloomygoregirl @leilei-draws @imaginecrushes @i-ievu @brianamaree @yeeintensifies @spider-starry @krazykatkay456 @fanfiction-trashpile @afootnoteinyourhappiness @easterncryptid @my-child-gaara @myrandom-fandomlife @onebatch--twobatch @the-cry-of-youth @p3nny4urth0ught5 @porgiez @umchrisevans @galaxy-of-stories @seeking-a-great--perhaps @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @dameronsgalaxygal @mserynlarsen @yougottakeeponkeepinon @maze-It101 @goddamndameron 

[danzinora-switch]

Typing the Turtles (ROTTMNT) Part 2 - Donatello

This started out as an investigation into the turtles’ insecurities, because one thing the show does so well is demonstrate that they are still teenagers. And being a teenager is a confusing experience - there’s angst, drama, exploring one’s identity, a lot of growth, and overall figuring out who you are. That’s a messy process, too! And we see this mess in our turtles: they mess up, they’re learning, they self-doubt, they have fears and insecurities, but they’re also discovering their strengths and how to overcome their inner obstacles.

So after thinking about all this way too long, here’s my psychological breakdown of each turtle (I’ll be referencing MBTI and the Enneagram, but will include links for more general information on those if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Donnie: INTJ, 5w6

The Architect, the Investigator, the Problem-Solver, the Observer

Firstly, getting into this analysis means that we have to step away from the stereotype that all INTJs are cold, aloof, and unemotional. INTJs, especially Turbulent ones, do express emotion, and we’ve all seen Donnie’s dramatic ‘theatre kid’ side. I’m not going to ignore that. He manages to be both thanks to the INTJ’s tertiary function Introverted Feeling (Fi). Extroverted Feeling (Fe) really allows one to connect and empathize with others’ emotions. Fi, however, is a more internal experience of feelings, and has trouble connecting with others without having been in their shoes. I happen to think Donnie is in a strong Ni-Fi loop, as well, which would make sense because fighting bad guys every day while trying to save the world after discovering a Mystic City which upbends everything you ever knew is pretty stressful. https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2017/06/21/intjs-loop-understanding-ni-fi-loop/

And it’s super interesting that he often expresses his emotions by literally saying them. “Evil laugh! Relishing chuckle! Gasp!” (Mind Meld) and, one of my favorites, he literally says “Sad face emoji” in Many Unhappy Returns.

So while we DO see Donnie experience and display his own emotions, we also DON’T see him all that affected by other people’s emotions. He’s still pretty stoic in Mystic Mayhem after the delivery guy gets mutated, cracking a joke about imitation crab. He’s unaffected by Todd’s puppies in Repo Mantis, and the only one immune to Warren Stone’s sob story in Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Pizza Pit shows it best when he’s unaffected when Mikey’s favorite pizza place collapses until the same thing happens to him. Fi at work vs Fe.

As for Donnie being a 5w6, keep this core motivation in mind: “[Fives] Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.” https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-5

Donnie at his Worst: Donnie vs. Witch Town gave us this gem of a line: “Because I’m the science guy! If mystic powers can do everything I can do, but better, then why would you guys even need me?” And while people have pointed out his need to be needed, I argue it’s a little more accurate to say he has a need to belong. His role in the group is the Brainiac, the Science Guy, the Smart One, and so his very identity is tied into fulfilling that role. A 5’s core fear is of being useless, helpless, or incapable. Mystic powers rendering his tech redundant, and thereby him useless, would be a pretty big threat to the security of his role in the group (that 6 wing kicking in). And remember a 5’s core motivation: to understand the environment as a defense. And he still doesn’t understand mystic energy. It’s pretty infuriating, so he’s pretty insufferable about it.

[Note: seeing mystic power as a threat probably didn’t kick in until their fight with Shredder in Many Unhappy Returns. Prior to that, his brothers were still learning how to use their magic weapons, but Donnie already understood his tech well enough to use it effectively (see their first fight against Baron Draxum in the pilot). But against the Shredder… all his tech was useless. Only the hanky, the hanky, was even marginally effective. His brothers’ weapons were now way more capable than anything he had to offer… core 5 fear. And to cope? Learn all you can about your fear/threat. Except he still hasn’t figured it out; we see even in Air Turtle that he calls Draxum for the mystic expertise instead of formulating his own hypothesis].

We’ve seen this insecurity about his place in the group before. In Mind Meld, as his brothers become more like him, his role is challenged. “Hey, you’re trying to get rid of me, that’s what I do to you!” “But, I thought purple was my... my thing.” When he first meets the Purple Dragon he immediately wants to join them because he sees them as tech peers. In Man vs Sewer even though he professes that it’s his day off, he doesn’t react well whenever Leo does ‘his thing’: analyzing the situation and drawing a conclusion. His self-worth seems to be tied to what he has to offer the group, and we hear that even in his song in The Mystic Library about proving himself.

Besides his insecurity, Donnie is practically allergic to blame. (Interestingly enough, he’s more okay with being wrong and others being right sometimes… sure he’ll deflect, but it doesn’t seem to get under his skin the way being at fault does). He will repeatedly deny fault and shift the blame to someone else when something goes wrong. He denies creating AlBearto in Al Be Back, says the incident with the Purple Dragons in The Purple Jacket is entirely April’s fault (she is not amused) and puts the blame for ditching Todd off on his brothers in Todd Scouts. The one time we see him own up his mistakes is in Mind Meld when no one (except Shelldon) is around to see it. “Yup. I beefed up.” This is definitely an area he needs to work on.

Average Donnie: Donnie cares for his brothers, but that doesn’t always get across in the best of ways. Take the episode Donnie’s Gifts, for example. Donnie never actually got a chance to explain how the gifts work, but we can see protective elements in each of them. Raph: please use your head and don’t just blindly rush in! Mikey: ohmygosh that is so dangerous, please be careful and don’t get hurt! Leo: stop poking the bear, Leo, it only makes him angrier! It makes sense that a 5 who has external fears of the world and has their own protective equipment (the Battle Shells) would extend that to his brothers. And Donnie was able to recognize that even though his brothers got the wrong message, he could move past that and call for a group hug. In the Purple Game he is super anxious to make sure his brothers are okay and not mostly hurt. Insane in the Mama Train also reveals the invention of the Panic Button… and who designed that?

Donnie also seeks a lot of validation. He takes pride in his work, and when his work is appreciated he gives that appreciation back tenfold [such as when he shows off the Turtle Tank to his brothers (Fast and Furriest), or when Splinter says he’s proud of him (Turtle-dega Nights: the Ballad of Rat Man)]. The flip side is that when he’s not getting the validation he needs from others he’ll create it himself, which comes off as arrogant and egocentric. See Smart Lair, when Sheldon 1.0 plays messages of Donnie’s self-worth all night, and is programmed to favor him. Or when he takes full credit for defeating a bad guy: the silverfish in Donnie’s Gifts, and scaring Draxum away with his disco ball in Shadow of Evil. When he gets the recognition for all his hard work from the right people, though, it inspires him to do great things. There is danger in getting validation from the wrong people, however, as we saw in Big Mama’s case in Bug Busters.

Donnie at his Best: Donnie’s at his best (and most relaxed) whenever he’s learning or building something. He gets super excited and happy attending April’s school (The Purple Jacket) or going to the library (The Mystic Library) and wants to attend college someday (The Mutant Menace). The INTJ/5 seeks to absorb information and he’s constantly energized by it.

He’s also energized when he can put that information to use, such as when building something. Did Albearto need a total tear-down in War and Pizza? No. But Donnie had fun making him ‘dazzle!’ How did Donnie cope being in the woods in Todd Scouts? By building an impressive tree fort. Donnie’s projects actually relax him, because he’s exercising his strength and capabilities.

This also works for his method of attacks and plans: Know Thine Enemy. He studies Warren Stone in Newsworthy when they meet him and is the only one who remembers he regenerates by Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Donnie and Mikey are able to successfully scam Repo Mantis in One Man’s Junk because they know how he thinks. Donnie thwarts everything the Purple Dragons do and can bring Shelldon home because he knows how they operate  (The Purple Game, Breaking Purple). He can restore his brothers to their rightful minds in Mind Meld because he knows himself. 

Also: music. The fact that one of his Battle Shells has a music mode (Mascot Melee), that he remembers things in song form (The Mystic Library, Donnie vs Witch Town), and that he likes to dance (Stuck on You) is so pure and adorable.

Donnie Relationships: 

(while Donnie does see his brothers as dum-dums at times, he admits they’re fun and pretty great to have in Mind Meld)

Raph: We really need a Donnie and Raph episode, but even without one there’s some moments we can look at. I already discussed in Raph’s analysis their general similarities. Donnie doesn’t think Raph always has the brightest ideas, but still has soft moments with him such as giving him $20 at the end of Mind Meld, designing the ‘captain’s chair’ of the Turtle Tank to Raph’s lumbar settings, and appreciating Raph’s pirate accent in Snow Day. They are both protective of their brothers, Raph with his fists and Donnie with his tech. It’s interesting that (I believe) they’re the reverse of each other on the Enneagram: Raph is a 6w5, and Donnie a 5w6. So they both understand the risks involved in what they do (mostly: Donnie still ate poison and Raph still goes on ‘smashcapades’). I really want to see a team-up between them.

Leo: I’m all for the Disaster Twins trope, but to me an episode that epitomizes that isn’t one like Lair Games, where they’re at each other’s throats, but Operation Normal. They’ve apparently done the grandma-getup before. They wind up playing as good cop, bad cop in Fast and Furriest. Sure, one’s high-strung, and one’s laid-back, which can get on each others’ nerves, but there’s also a lot of making up. Brotherly betrayal passes back and forth between them, but never crosses a line. And the numerous times they unconsciously mirror each other can be found with a simple search of the Disaster Twins tag. I’m interested to see more episodes where they work together, even in the background, just because they can get up to wild shenanigans.

Mikey: Mikey’s probably the turtle Donnie most gets along with. They’ve had several episode team-ups: Repo Mantis, One Man’s Junk, Turtle-dega Nights: the Ballad of Rat Man, Breaking Purple, etc. Donnie may be the team academic, but Mikey has strong emotional intelligence. They get along pretty easily, making plans together (One Man’s Junk) and protecting each other (we see Donnie protect Mikey in Repo Mantis and Bug Busters, but we see Mikey protect Donnie by pulling him out of the way in Smart Lair). Donnie helps Mikey focus on the goal at hand, and Mikey helps Donnie communicate better with others. They’re a good team with a pretty solid foundation.

Ultimately, Donnie’s an inventive turtle who wants his brothers to be safe but is still wrestling with a lot of insecurities and unhealthy stress levels. I’m excited to see how he grows into real confidence and utilizes his strengths as an integral member of the team.

For more information on the INTJ and Enneagram 5 personality types, click here:

https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-5-wing-6

https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2016/01/mbti-and-the-enneagram-2/6/

[valentinecult]

Nagoriyuki’s Sword Theory Part 2.

Okay, so long time ago, I made a theory about Nagoriyuki’s sword being cursed. This is part one.

https://valentinecult.tumblr.com/post/633497545557016576/nagoriyukis-sword-theory

Recently, there has been new potential evidence I’ve discovered on his sword and it’s really some scary stuff. Before I dive in, I must remind you that this is only a theory, I may or may not be correct until we get official confirmation on how Nagoriyuki’s sword actually works. 

Let’s begin. In the first part of my theory, I’ve stated my belief that the sword is somewhat based off of the Murasama Sword Legend. The Murasama sword is a cursed sword that thirsts for blood and can drive those who wield it into a murderous rage. 

I also don’t think Nagoriyuki is a natural born vampire as stated in my previous post. I’ll dive more into that later, let’s talk about his sword and this particular detail that I find most concerning. His special move, Wasureyuki, we get a close up on Nagoriyuki’s blade as he caresses it. I rewinded and slowed down the animation because the reflection on the sword looked strange. Take a look:

You see it? Now you are probably wondering; ‘What the hell is that thing?’

I’ll tell you and since Guilty Gear has inspired me to look into Japanese folklore, this thing shook me to the core. Look at this image:

That is the same freakin’ image that is displayed on Nagoriyuki’s sword, just with slight changes. This is the Gashadokuro, a youkai or demon that takes the form of a giant skeleton. They are known for biting off the heads of people and drinking their spraying blood. The Gashadokuro’s body is made up of the bones of fallen warriors or people who died of starvation, which is why it is also named ‘starving skeleton’. The modified image on Nagoriyuki’s sword shows some horns on the skeleton’s head and the hilt of a sword. 

Here is my theory: I believe that the sword is not just simply cursed, it is possessed by the Gashadokuro demon. Unlike Slayer, when Nagoriyuki uses Blood Magic to unlock the true power of the sword (Blood Rage), his health decreases rapidly. See, Slayer can use blood magic without showing any signs of distress or danger to his well being, but Nagoriyuki...he is in likely a more dire situation than Slayer.

I think Nagoriyuki at some point in his life formed a contract with the Gashadokuro demon that resides in the sword. In theory, the deal could be that the sword would act as a magical conduit to help the vampire channel his blood magic better and utilize it more lethally. However, in exchange for using the full potential of the cursed sword, Nagoriyuki would have to lend his own life force/blood to the demon in order to deliver more powerful attacks. Think about it, when he goes full vampire mode in Blood Rage, WHY is this poor man’s health decreasing?! 

Reminder, in the old post, there was the image of when he begins to enter Blood Rage, he spews blood and the scariest thing is that the blood had a demonic face. 

Again, I don’t think it’s placed there just to look ‘cool’, it’s likely an implication or hint that the sword--or the demon is possessing Nagoriyuki. However, when Blood Rage is over, Nagoriyuki will put his mask back on. So, it is very likely that either Nagoriyuki has partial control over himself or the mask has a time limit on how long the sword can possess him.

Remember his theme song, What Do You Fight For? It talks about Soul Enlightenment in the beginning of the vocals. I’m pasting some stuff from my older posts here:

Soul Enlightenment’s definition varies, but what is it like when a person is spiritually enlightened? The qualities of that is that the enlightened person is a being of pure love and light, kind and compassionate. However, those qualities aren’t enough to truly define you as ‘enlightened’. 

You must purify your soul, heart, mind, and body. The back of Nagoriyuki’s kimono and the kanji written on his mask was written as ‘Heart’ and ‘Mind’, if I am correct. That matches the attributes of what one needs for spiritual enlightenment. 

Even so, the lyrics quoted: ‘You’re denying your thirst. Now it’s time to feast!’

This could refer to Nagoriyuki’s internal struggles on resisting his vampiric urges. As stated before, it’s speculated that his hannya youkai mask is special limiter that helps suppress his impulses. So Nagoriyuki might be struggling to control his vampire side and he could be using the culture and traditions of Bushido to obtain spiritual enlightenment to maintain self-control. Not only is he trying to maintain himself, but he is obviously very determined to keep fighting the demon in the sword. Keep fighting until it is his time to die. He might have a mindset of a warrior, someone who isn’t afraid of death, even though he is an ‘immortal’, a vampire. 

Onto his backstory, there is no information on Nagoroyuki’s past. He is simply called a mysterious swordsman that wields a sword that absorbs blood, but Daisuke claimed that he plays an important role to the history of Guilty Gear. 

If this is true, it is safe to assume that he’s seen a lot of pretty crazy events that transpired throughout the lore’s timeline. He certainly gives off the impression of an experienced warrior and a man with a story to tell. 

I believe his situation is no different from Sol Badguy. Sol was a human but due to some…bad circumstances, he became a Gear and as a prototype, he is insanely strong. Too strong for his own good to the point where he needed to create a limiter to suppress the Gear cells and his Gear instincts. There has always been this internal conflict Sol has with his Gear side. 

Nagoriyuki is probably a similar case. Long story short, he might’ve been human once in his lifetime, but the sword may’ve cursed him and turned him into a vampire--or at least something similar to one.  As a vampire, you would obviously begin to act out on your bloodlust and impulse to drink blood. Upon discovering the traditions of the Bushido Code of the Samurai, he studied it and tried to obtain inner peace with himself and his vampiric side. 

 While he does come off as a loner, I have doubts that Nagoriyuki built that mechanical mask by himself. He likely had help someone within the P.W.A.B. or something. Who that person is, it’s unknown and I’m not going to speculate it for we still don’t know all the details of the Strive story. 

Whatever the sword is, if there is a Gashadokuro possessing that sword and given it is named ‘starving skeleton’, I already know that this sword is very...very....VERY thirsty and hungry.

What is also weird is this stage in Strive:

Look behind Sol Badguy at the upper left, what is THAT?!  A giant skeleton? A Gashadokuro? Hell, there’s dozens more in the background further away! Is this a coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not, but with all of these subtle details, I can imagine that Strive might dig deeper into the lore of the Youkai and the Backyard. If these are actually Gashadokuros on this stage, why are there giant swords pinning them down? Who placed these swords there? And do they have a connection to Nagoriyuki? 

Until we get more info, all I can say is that this can be left up to anyone’s imagination. 

But with all these details shown, this further strengthens my theory of that sword being cursed and doing more harm than good onto Nagoriyuki.

That is my theory for now. Take it with a grain of salt, it’s all a theory, nothing else to it.

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums, we talk about something a little more recent, but still old enough to be a classic. Can you believe that John Maus’s We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves, is turning ten years old already? Yes, 2011 was that long ago...and so were my high school years. Come check out this lo-fi synthwave masterpiece! Transcript below the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! So far in this series, we’ve looked at a lot of older albums, and that’s by design. While I listen to, and love, plenty of more recent music and younger artists, I’ve decided to focus Great Albums on works that are at least ten years old. That’s partly because I think that having some distance from when albums were released lets us situate them in fuller context, and take their legacy into consideration. It’s also partly because so much of the music criticism that’s out there is focused, somewhat myopically, on only the newest and hottest releases, when there’s so much amazing music to be discovered outside of that purview.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get on to discussing today’s album: John Maus’s We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves, which was released in 2011, one decade prior to this video. It’s an album that was very significant to me as a teenager, when it was new, and one that I think will go on to be seen as one of the most important electronic albums of this decade.

Before releasing his arguable magnum opus, John Maus had two LPs under his belt, Songs and Love Is Real. They earned him some cult followers, but also attracted substantial derision and disdain. While many elements of Maus’s signature sound are present, such as lo-fi production, atmospheric washes of synth, and lyrics that straddle the line between pithy and biting, I’d characterize these releases as being very...rough around the edges.

Music: “Too Much Money”

“Too Much Money,” off of Love Is Real, is tantalizingly close to a pop song, but its truly shocking bridge seems almost deliberately crafted to shatter our ability to enjoy it as such. Maus had initially set out to be an experimental, outsider musician, but he soon became more interested in the tradition of pop, particularly after meeting his longtime friend and artistic collaborator, Ariel Pink. It was in that pop spirit that Maus created We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves, and the resultant increase in accessibility is what made his third album so different--and so much more successful. There’s a certain charm that only comes from an outsider attempting to do pop, a fusion of intuitive mass appeal, and an intuitive, unschooled process of creation. This album has that in abundance.

Music: “Hey Moon”

While “Hey Moon” is one of Maus’s best-known tracks, it’s actually a cover, and was originally penned by singer-songwriter Molly Nilsson. It’s a very simple, and very pop, composition, and it’s easy to see how it embodies the sort of straightforward songwriting Maus had in the back of his mind while creating the album. But it fundamentally lacks the signature oddness of Maus, and I think that leaves it as the least interesting track here. With everything else going on, “Hey Moon” feels all the more plain and banal in comparison.

Music: “...And the Rain”

Listening to “...And the Rain,” it’s easy to hear how strongly Maus was also influenced by Classical and Medieval composers. Besides those organ-like synth textures, Maus is also inspired by the Medieval modes, and pre-tonal ideas about melody. Whenever contemporary music uses slightly older synthesiser technology, and/or that lo-fi production, many people become preoccupied with using ideas of 80s nostalgia and retro chic to understand it. I think this album has less to do with “old school cool” and more to do with the spectre of the past as something faded and ineffable, accessible only through the dim consolations of memory. Consider “Quantum Leap,” which presents us with a hazy dream of time travel, contrasted with the “dead zone” of the present.

Music: “Quantum Leap”

In “Quantum Leap”’s more strident moments, I like to think that a whiff of the in-your-face abrasiveness of “Too Much Money” remains. But rather than scornful and vitriolic, it comes across as the overwhelming splendour of divine mystery, thanks to its appropriation of Medieval church music. There are many antecedents of what Maus is doing with it, from the tradition of goth to the work of other electronic musicians like John Foxx, but what Maus really excels at is weaving together the sacred and the profane, and getting us to forget which is supposed to be which. For a more splendid example of that, look no further than “Matter of Fact”:

Music: “Matter of Fact”

Yes, you heard that correctly--this song’s only lyrics are, “pussy is not a matter of fact.” I’m tempted to compare this laconic number to some of Maus’s earlier pieces that seem to satirize easily spouted slogans of social change, such as “Rights For Gays.” The core assertion here could be interpreted as a rebuttal of essentialism with regards to gender and sex, or perhaps of toxic masculinity, and the idea of a man feeling entitled to a woman’s body and sexuality. But its ambiguity, and possible meaninglessness, are, I think, part of what makes it so effective. Still, as far as transgressive lyricism goes, the use of the term “pussy” here pales in comparison to the preceding track, “Cop Killer.”  

Music: “Cop Killer”

Maus has described himself as extremely left-wing, but he’s also consistently maintained that his music isn’t meant to be interpreted through a strictly political lens. But however much Maus insists that “Cop Killer” is “really” about metaphorical cops, its seemingly blatant call for violence feels obscene. Ten years ago, “Cop Killer” was shock art, and an expression of the unsayable. But in the past year, more and more people have opened up to criticism of police brutality, and police as an institution. “Cop Killer” has been re-evaluated and re-contextualized, and interest in the track has surged. It’s had a degree of vindication that most provocative and challenging art will never see, no matter how powerful.

Given Maus’s frequent emphasis on ideas of criminality, justice, and the punitive arm of the government, I’m tempted to interpret the lighthouse featured on the cover of We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves as a reference to the “panopticon” prisons designed by the Enlightenment thinker Jeremy Bentham. Bentham proposed prisons, and other state buildings, in which a single observation tower stood watch over people to be controlled. Prisoners cannot tell when, and if, they are being observed, and thus are forced to live as though they are under constant surveillance, and internalize the structures of social control. The panopticon has often been used as a symbol of how structures of discipline and punishment affect the psyche of those who live within them, most famously by the 20th Century philosopher Michel Foucault.

But this is, of course, me using political theory to try and pin Maus down! We can also set this aside and appreciate the cover design for its aesthetic ambiance. Its fog and tumultuous sea evoke the wild or unrefined qualities of the music, but the bright and piercing light of the lighthouse suggest a firm and directed focus, not unlike Maus’s stated goal of creating bona fide pop.

The album’s ponderous title doesn’t actually appear on the associated artwork. This isn’t so uncommon nowadays, but when physical media was more central to music consumption, it was a self-sabotaging move that few but New Order ever got away with. Maus was one of the first artists I became aware of who chose to omit text from album art, and it struck me as a very bold and forward-thinking adaptation to an increasingly digital world. Maus nicked the title “We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves” from the work of the philosopher Alain Badou, under whom he studied at university. Like that piercing ray of light, it seems to suggest a pruning away of impurities, and a recalibration or refocusing of one’s energies. It applies equally well to the idea of becoming sanctified or purified in the presence of the holy, or, more prosaically, to Maus’s newly pop-oriented artistic direction.

After the success of We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves, Maus’s follow-up was, essentially, the 2012 compilation, A Collection of Rarities and Previously Unreleased Material, which featured assorted tracks he had written throughout the preceding decade. Over the next few years, Maus chose to isolate himself from the public eye, claiming to not see himself continuing a career in music, and instead pursuing a Ph.D. in political science. He eventually returned, however, and released a fourth LP in 2017, entitled Screen Memories. Screen Memories would continue the focus on hooky and accessible melodies, while also increasing the use of guitar and bass to bring Maus’s sound a bit closer to rock.

Music: “Touchdown”

While Maus hasn’t put down any new material since Screen Memories, he has made himself substantially more notorious quite recently, by having been present at the attempted coup at the United States Capitol Building in January of 2021. Given Maus’s aforementioned radical leftism, and his cryptic, but seemingly anti-fascist oriented tweets afterward, it seems unlikely that Maus actually supported the insurrection, but the incident continues to cast a shadow over his reputation, at least for the time being. Whether Maus is ever truly rehabilitated or not, and wherever his true intentions and sympathies lay, his music has certainly left an indelible mark. We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves was a watershed moment for this idea of lo-fi, electronic pop, with a gothic and mysterious aura to it, and I don’t think this sound would be so commonplace in today’s musical landscape without what John Maus had accomplished, ten years ago.

My favourite track on We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves is “Head For the Country.” Its stirring and anthemic refrain is one of the most emotionally powerful moments on the album, particularly when juxtaposed with its lyrical themes of feeling confined by society’s rules, and its return to the idea of criminality or deviance. It's probably too intense and overbearing to ever pass for an ordinary pop hit...but who’s keeping score? That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Head For the Country”

[sterling-silvers]

Star Wars: The High Republic #2 Review

Ultimately a 7.5 out of 10, this installment was slightly better because of how Cavan Scott decided to advance the plot. While there some are nice nuggets of good-story telling and character interactions, even worse than last time, it’s bogged down with cardinal errors that truly make me question Scott’s competency as a writer for this story.

The issue comes right off the back end of Keeve being promoted to a Master Jedi and chronicles her first mission in the position. She is still dealing with the growing pains of what it means to be a Jedi which is depicted with her ongoing internalized self-doubt as well as her difficulty expressing certain Jedi mantras, such as “May the Force be with you.” Arguably exacerbating this bottled up uncertainty are the Keeve-proclaimed legends of Jedi Masters Sskeer, and identical Kobati twins Terec and Ceret. These twins are Bond-twins and as so are able to share the same mind and experiences of each other.

As they exit “hyperspace” (more on that later), the four masters come across the leftover demise of a ship that has been attacked. The Jedi were tasked with responding to the scrambled distress call that the ship had sent out sometime ago but, it seems as if they arrived too late. Both Keeve and one of the twins, using the Force, are able to sense survivors within the ransacked ship. As so, they board and enter.  Almost as soon as they are inside, they are met with poisonous Nihilian ovax gas and utilize a device called “rebreathers” to mitigate the effects.  Fully aware that the Nihil have raided this ship, they continue their investigation and split up to cover more ground. Traversing in groups of two, Terec – who is accompanying Sskeer – can sense the Trandoshan experiencing extreme trauma which means that Ceret can feel it as well via their bond; specifically, Sskeer is having flashbacks to the exact moment he lost his arm in the Battle of Kur.

On Keeve’s side of things, she and Ceret come across the corpses of a Hutt and Gamorrean guards. Upon further examination, it seems the Hutt was killed via an amalgam of stab wounds, blaster bolts, and nagnol poisoning – the latter being a toxic natural gas, capable of disrupting starship sensors, poisoning beings based on dosage, and a key element in the Nihil smokescreen.

On Sskeer’s end, he comes across a barley crop and together the Jedi deduce that the Hutt was capitalizing on the grain shortage that has occurred thanks to the Great Disaster. As the twins work on trying to ascertain where exactly the crop came from, Ceret is attacked by a Nihil that has been left behind; this causes both twins to feel the pain but, the wounds are not fatal. Sskeer charges ahead and chases after the Nihil raider, who is already suffering from serious injuries previously sustained in the raid. While Sskeer is perturbed that he cannot sense the attacker he is able to fatally strike down the assailant; coming to gripes that he has just killed, Sskeer goes on a rampage and continually slashes the bifurcated carcass only be brought back to his senses when Keeve addresses him.

Afterward, the Masters relay their findings to Marshall Avar Kriss and with the analysis from Master Maru, come to the conclusion that the barley – specifically Vratixia Renanicus – is a key ingredient in bacta; moreover, the shipment likely came from the Sedri System – principally, Sedri Minor. With this in mind, Kriss assigns Sskeer and Ceret to got to Sedri while she and Jedi Master Rwoh convene with Keeve and Terec to collect the Hutt ship that is breaking trading sanctions. Keeve moves to go with Sskeer but, Sskeer stonewalls her to stay with Terec.

Arriving on the planet, Sskeer is met with unwecolmedness by a citizen, Kalo Sulman who makes it clear that the Jedi’s presence will interfere with the colony’s independence. As the two are discussing, Ceret sees a Rodian in the crops motioning him to come over – as Ceret goes deep into the brush he is attacked by Drengir.

Back on the ship, Kriss and Keeve are discussing the remains of the corpse that Sskeer has left; Kriss reprimands Keeve for not telling her sooner but, also admonishes herself for not looking deeper into the signs the Force were giving her – such as not being able to hear Sskeer’s “song”.

As this happens, Terec – who is being medically assessed by Rwoh – screams out in pain feeling his brother’s anguish and relays this to Kriss. Kriss immediately contacts Sskeer and asks if Ceret is with him; when Sskeer realizes that the twin is gone rushes into the fields only to find his lightsaber.

What I liked:

A growing plot pivoting off of the bacta manufacturing that was touched on by Jedi Grandmaster Veter; this is much welcomed world building within the parameters that is the High Republic.

A very competent and aptly written investigation, analysis, and deductive reasoning done by the Jedi as a whole. The way the Jedi got on the ship, looked for clues, relayed their information to the data analyst/forensic expert, and hash out a plan to go to the planet where the clue originated from was great and definitely resonated with the idea that these Jedi are analogous to Texas Rangers. They certainly seemed like proto-Jedi investigators, not unlike future Jedi Master Tera Sinube.

The continued delving into Jedi Master Sskeer. I like the balancing act that is being conducted with his character. He’s a virtuous being that is dealing with trauma but, that doesn’t, ultimately, stop him from being a Jedi – it just tests it. He is still a “knight” and applies that chivalry when it needs to shine. Witnessing his accident and how it is affecting his psyche, ability to use the Force, and his morality is the highlight of this issue. This is what should be focused on to establish WHY Keeve looks up to him – give her these thoughts in accordance with herself doubt.

The dynamics of Ceret and Terec as interconnected Force Twins (could be seen as “Dyad Force-bond” inspired). Their link is a double-edged sword that reminds me of the Tomax and Xamot Paoli from Cobra Command. The original Star Wars was centered around Force sensitive twins and it’s nice to see that element played with more here – haven’t really seen that since the Mikkian twin sisters – Tiplee and Tiplar – in Clone Wars.

The holster to the lightsabers – it’s a nice, subtle way to convey how the Jedi of this era are more in a time of peace and reservation. To have a weapon holstered means that they have to take the extra moment to consider brandishing it. This underlying detail syncs really well with the time period considering that most of their enemies would be lifeforms and could be reasoned with – “life is precious.”

This can be seen as succinct yet distinct dichotomy between this era Jedi and the Skywalker Saga Jedi, as their sabers were without a holster and normally fashioned around the hips allowing for both instant access and draw in an age encompassed by war with droids – “droids are replaceable.”

What I disliked:

The application of Keeve’s personality traits continues to feel like a mismatch for the particular time period and volk she supposedly has been training and studying with; Ezra Bridger – who by the High Republic’s standards would not even be a Jedi – acts more like a Jedi than Keeve does. If anything, the uncertainty, quirks, and misapplication of Jedi traditions would have fit Ezra WAY more than it does (or really doesn’t) with Keeve. The concept itself is fine but, the iteration is what is flawed. Keeve is fast feeling more like a Jedi from post revenge Revenge of the Sith – like Kanan Jarrus – that a High Republic Jedi.

The sloppy fan service – there is a scene not only of a Hutt but, the Hutt is dead with its tongue out, surrounded by dead Gamorrean guards. It would be one thing if we just had a dead Hutt, I can even look past the Gamorrean guards (even though it would be nice if we saw this race in more roles than guards – there are some but, it does seem like guards is niche as far as the universe is concerned) but, to also have the Hutt dead with its tongue out to me just screams “DO YOU REMEMBER THAT ONE SCENE IN RETURN OF THE JEDI WITH JABBA?!!!” Just, how much are you going to dilute a reference? Make the fan service substantive and or just not in your face – the Rodian luring Ceret is a good version of fan service; present, notable, but not impeding in terms of the narrative.

What I Marked Off:

The completely wrong depiction of hyperspace; Star Wars Hyperspace is blue and certainly not immersed in stars when one is traveling through it. This error is on the very first page of the issue. This shook me to my very core and yanked me out of the immersion. IT’S THE FIRST PAGE! HOW DOES ONE MESS UP ON THE FIRST PAGE?!!! To add grave insult to mortal injury, hyperspace is a FOCAL element of the High Republic Era – you CAN NOT mess this up. Ultimately, it’s a team mess up but, Scott gets the brunt of this reprimand because this is his story and arguably his script is the one that should be guiding the artist.

The fact that Scott continues to fail to make the necessary references about crucial dynamics, events, and positions within this era. I had to learn from a YouTube video (link below) that Sskeer is actually the “Steward” to Kriss’ Marshall role. As of issue #3, this position is still not established to be held by Sskeer which is a real shame as it adds more substance and weight to his plight as a perturbed Jedi. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPeRcyJE5dk&feature=emb_title

In summary, this issue was a 7.5 out of 10; slightly better than issue one because of how the writer decided to advance the plot and who he decided to advance the plot with. The genuinely good moments of story-telling are bogged down by ineptitude that can literally throw one out of the immersion. Nonetheless, if you can tolerate the faults there are elements to enjoy, especially when it comes to the characters. I hope those elements promptly become prominent.

[diffuserlover]

Hello! Can I get Stray Kids, ATEEZ, and NCT ship? 💚

Appearance: She/her. 179cm tall, rectangle body shape. Fair skin complexion with quite a few birthmarks. Dyed dark brown-reddish, past shoulder-length, straight hair with bangs. The left eye is a mix of two colors – a smaller portion of (darker) greyish-blue and a larger portion of hazel; while the right eye is just a (lighter) greyish-blue. Heptagon face shape with two dimples on the left cheek and one on the right cheek (only visible while smiling). A gap between the upper front teeth.

Personality (good and bad traits): Ever since I was a kid, I was always quite mature for my age – I identify myself as an old soul. I come off as polite and well-mannered to strangers, yet I tend to keep it to myself by being reserved. But, that’s because I have social anxiety and I’m nervous and shy when meeting/talking to people. The only people I’m comfortable with being with my inner circle – closest friends and family. I am usually more “open” with my friends than with my family. With my friends I can be my “truest-self” – I smile more, I laugh more, I feel more accepted and understood. I am the mom and the fashionista of the group. Don’t get me wrong, I am fiercely protective of my family, especially of my mother and younger sister. But, lately, I’ve been feeling like the “black sheep” of the family, Cinderella who’s been taken advantage of. I express my affection for the people I care about in little, but practical, ways. I can be a little stiff when it comes to open, gushy displays of affection. Others turn to me for help and advice. I’m kind-hearted and generous, always ready to help a person in need. Always have been motherly towards children. Very awkward at keeping small talk (usually with people that I’m not that close with). Absolutely, hate speaking in front of a public, and if I do, because of my nervousness, I tend to mess up my words and/or I practice whatever I’m about to say in my head at first. I appreciate the simplicity and am often most comfortable when I’m not getting too much attention from the world. I am sensitive – both to criticism and to others’ feelings (I sponge up the feelings and moods of people and the environment around me). Have a hard time saying no or expressing my true thoughts, feelings. I get influenced by other people’s opinions/thoughts quite hard (I take everything to the heart), that is why I tend to keep a lot to myself (may come off as a little bit tense, secretive, mysterious). I avoid the harsh reality by daydreaming (almost every day) – imagining myself in situations far from my current circumstances. Sort of like a self-escape. I worry a lot and overthink almost everything. I am easily distracted and my attention span can be quite short. I have an internal struggle between my needs and wants. I can lack focus and be indecisive as a result – when I decide on one route, I am pulled in another direction at the same time (“But what if…”, “on the other hand...”). That is why I’m having a bit of a struggle with deciding what I want to do in the future (career-wise). I am easily overwhelmed by pressure and stress. There is a self-destructive side to me (self-critical, lack of self-confidence) that I’m working on by confronting my fears (coming out of my shell). Don’t like taking pictures, or other people taking pictures of me. I feel most content when I’ve straightened out all the details of everyday life. I have a routine, that I follow by mostly every day, and if something small changes in that routine, I start to have a small internal anxiety attack. Also, I like to do things my own way, like, when it comes to cleaning the house or organizing stuff, etc. I get triggered even if people don’t do the laundry the way I do. I guess you could describe me as a perfectionist, clean/control freak. In triggering situations I can be impulsive, spontaneous, quick to act. Quick flare-ups of anger/annoyance when being provoked on my patience. Even when I’m feeling low, I manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever I do have. Although I tend to bottle things up, I am an emotional person and my emotions are genuine – I love and care deeply and passionately and wish no ill will upon anyone, yet it hards for me to imagine someone falling in love with me or just liking me.

Hobbies, likes: My hobbies are cleaning, writing (re-writing song lyrics, making small notes, writing stories), listening to any type of music, catching up on my favorite films and TV shows, hanging out with friends, going to the cinema, or the club, being out in nature, reading, traveling. I like history, cooking, fashion magazines (or fashion in general), road trips, spirituality, mythology, books, orange juice, previous decades, cottage-core, dark academia.

Overall: Hufflepuff. INFP-T. Bi-sexual. Pisces-Aries cusp sign. “Looks like could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll.” A feminist, support LGBTQ+ community. That’s it, thank you!

Hii! Thank you so much for requesting!! I hope you like your ships!! I got a little carried away so sorry it’s a little long:)

Stray Kids:

I ship you with...

Chan

He is very comforting and knows how to get to you😚

Whenever you are overthinking or overwhelmed he can tell🥲

He will sit you down and try to get you to talk about your feelings with him or he would take you out somewhere to distract you from whatever is overwhelming you💗

He would understand your perfectionist side and always makes sure that everything is perfect for you😁

He keeps you updated with his schedule if it ever changes because he knows how much you like a regular schedule 🥰

You guys probably share a calendar so all of your events are in one space☺️

He finds it so cute how polite and kinda nervous you were when you first met🤩

He always supports you and your goals for coming out of your shell, he is always so proud whenever you do😇

Chan helps you as much as he can when finding something you want to do career wise but due to the amount of stress it gives you I would say it causes some arguments🥲

He would never let the public see you and if your relationship ever gets released he is never saying your name or showing any photos because you knows you don’t like to be in the public eye😭🥰

He is beaming whenever he sees you with kids🥺

You guys are like the mom and dad of stray kids😊

He likes to take you to the studio and work on songs together for fun🤗

You guys go on walks a lot together to just look at the scenery 😌

He never watches shows or movies without you😋

You guys cook together a lot, you guys always have fun it’s not too serious while cooking😆

Extroverts and Introverts go best with each other 🙂

Chan reassures you a lot that he loves you and that he is so grateful to have you in his life☺️

Overall, you and Chan have the sweetest relationship. You guys are literally perfect together🥰

ATEEZ:

I ship you with...

Seonghwa

You and Seonghwa are both perfectionist😊

You guys have a schedule and certain ways of cleaning 🤗

You clean together to make it more fun😚

Wooyoung most likely makes fun of you for it😆🤣

Seonghwa I feel is really good at listening and you can tell he is really listening when you look into his eyes😍

He gets butterflies whenever you are with children he just finds it so cute 🥺😭

He appreciates how you leave little notes in his bag telling him sweet things, he always tries to give you little notes as well😇

Seonghwa is always considerate of your feelings 🥰

Extroverts and introverts go best together🙂

He treats you a lot even if that means just buying the food at the cinema he will do it🤗

When he knows you have had a long day he will cook for you😄

If he has had the worst day or if he is super tired he might just give you the silent treatment, you might have to physically ask him if he’s okay😬

He likes to sit down and have a meal with you 😊

I feel like you both don’t have much patience and kinda lash out on each other but it’s never something super serious😚

Seonghwa absolutely adores your smile and you always find something to laugh about😁

Overall you and Seonghwa have a real connection🥺

NCT ot23:

I ship you with...

Xiaojun

He is so sweet but he also silly😆

You guys are in the studio a lot☺️

He likes to play the guitar for you, you guys have written quite a lot of songs together 🥰

You guys have a lot of nights in just watching movies and cooking together😄

He loves your laugh so much it makes him smile just thinking about it😍

He understands how you like a schedule and doesn’t want to mess it up when something comes up, he always makes sure to call you or text you when he can to tell you😭🤗

He tries not to overwhelm you with his problems cause he feels bad but he also wants to talk to you about it, he has a hard time deciding😚

Xiaojun always makes sure you okay before checking on himself😇

He would never be as kind to his members than he is with you😂💀

Xiaojun loves his snacks, you guys go shopping at least 2 times a week so he can get his snacks🤣

He loves writing with you because he loves to see the passion in your eyes🥰

He studies the way you clean the house because if he ever wants to do it he doesn’t want to get it wrong😆

I don’t think Xiaojun is really into physical affection so I feel like he would be fine without heavy amounts of it😁

He loves how kind you are☺️

He labors to mess around and do anything to make you laugh or smile🙂

Overall you and Xiaojun are really cute and fun🤩

[jjungkooksthighs]

BTS BE ALBUM REVIEW

So, I have seen reviews on albums done before and I wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere. This little thing came into being because of that!

First off, I would definitely recommend BE for those who are struggling. It is a good source of comfort, for sure, if you are going through a rough time and I can understand how others would love this album as I have already seen. I think the boys put in work for this one and it definitely shows! I’m especially proud of Kook for his directing skills in the MV. It was very well done and I am so glad he seemed to have had a good time doing that as he stated in the Global Press Conference yesterday!

BE is a very interesting album in terms of the styles of the songs with three of the eight being retro-themed (Dynamite, Telepathy and Dis-ease) with the other three being slower and more melancholy (Life Goes On, Blue and Grey and Fly To My Room). Personally, I liked 7 better than this one, but that is just my opinion! I have seen lots of other people on Tumblr commenting their favorite songs off BE amongst other loving praises that I’ve come across and I think that is wonderful.

For me, though, I will say that Life Goes On definitely caught me off guard as I wasn’t expecting that style of song at all. Despite that, the fact that my bias directed this MV was something very unique that I really enjoyed seeing. If words would embody this song, I would choose succor’s solace as the epitome of this track. It is relief rolled into audio and it is such a gift to have a song like this in the hard times that we have been attacked with. It is soft yet firm in its tone and both balance each other very well to coalesce into a very comforting song. 

 This is certainly a song that you’d listen to on the way home from work after a long day or while you’re in the midst of studying, doing schoolwork or even at home working on assignments or tasks for your job. It is also something you’d listen to when you feel like the problems and struggles you face are just too much and need to be reminded that, per the song’s title, life continues on and that we must push forward to enjoy the little things and the big. I liked this track the most, I think. I myself am facing some things in my life right now and the core message of this song resonated deeply with me. To that end, this track is every bit the comfort song they intended it to be and this song, along with Spring Day, sit at the same table for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Fly To My Room’s mellow beat is something that I think would be a great listen at night after the trials and woes of the day and it was interesting to see sope/vmin in the same track and how those two subunits meshed together to create something entirely new and unseen before.

Blue and Grey... this one sounded familiar to me and it took me all but two seconds to realize where I had heard it before. This is the same song that Taehyung teased in Bon Voyage when he was sitting in the canoe out on the lake. The song sounded so very different in this rendition and I was very surprised to see this song in the album when I had originally thought it would be in Tae’s mixtape! 

This is definitely a song you listen to in the rain and when the sun has been masked by the clouds in the sky. It is also a song you’d listen to once the sun has set and you walk outside just to have some fresh air and reminisce either about the past or to think on the stresses of your present. I think this track has the power to ease both and that is a powerful thing, indeed.

Telepathy I really liked! I think the upbeat form of this one definitely was a nice break from the slow beat of the first three songs on the album and, because this one is BTS’s love letter to ARMY, I think that is a very special thing that we as their fans should cherish in their thought towards us during the times that have befallen us and taken from us (and them) their ability to see us beyond a screen. I think the flow of the song is perfect and the flux of the voices of the members works very well for the positive energy they are trying to instill in it. From beginning of this song, when I heard it, I knew I was going to like it. It had a starry, celestial vibe to it and for some reason, when I hear it, I think of shooting stars that fly through the night sky. 

True to that image, this is a song you’d listen to when you’re with friends to recall the bonds you make with those closest to you (and those farthest from you) no matter where in the world they are. This is a song you’d also listen to to PARTY PARTY, YEAH! (I’m sorry, but ever since I heard that from Kook, it has been living in my mind rent free) In any case, this is a nice song to uplift you and would also be good to put on after a bad day so that you can look back on all the good things life despite the bad. That message is a very strong one, indeed, so that definitely makes this song a favorited one for me.

As an English major at my university, the title of Dis-ease was interesting as someone that often studies semantics and semiotics in language and literature. It was intriguing to see that they chose to deconstruct the word of disease and split it into its alternative form to convey an entirely new meaning from what one might assume the word means at first glance. While they could have chosen to name the song DISEASE, which is a word associated with sickness, illness or an ailing, afflicted health condition that most link with weakness and feebleness, BTS decided to utilize a play on words and use an older version of the word that now has two different meanings linked with it, I found it fascinating that they named the song what they did, for dis-ease was often used in the past to denote a lack of ease or absence of relief in an individual.

 It was only later that the word was changed once individuals started tagging health related conditions with actual infections or maladies when viruses and mental illnesses began to gain a name for themselves in the colonizing world. Ironically enough, the word dis-ease is now used by medical practitioners in healing environments for individuals that are on the road to eudemonia or betterment of themselves and the word is purposefully used to endow awareness of compromised health on a singular cause or root.

I don’t think I need to explain why that is significant in the scheme of the situation that our world has come to, but I shall say it anyway: this is meaningful in that BTS decides to fight back and combat the negativity that would threaten to swallow them (and those who listen and internalize the lyrics of the song for themselves and thusly feel the message they are trying to give to us) to instead grapple and wrestle with it by loudly bringing attention to it rather than allowing it to silently consume and germinate within them. This, for me, was very empowering to hear and is one of the many reasons why I appreciate this song in particular amongst the lyrics that target and attack the “diseases” that would try to take from us our wellbeing. The track is a battle cry to keep fighting and that, in it of itself, is a very powerful thing that strikes very deep within me. The bridge at the end with Kook and Jimin, by the way… literal EARGASM, MA’AM. Anyway, this is a song that you’d listen to in the morning to get yourself hype for the day. It is something you’d put on in the desire to boost your spirits if they are low and honestly could be listened to in any situation.

Lastly, we have Stay. This subunit of NamKookJin was certainly a pleasant surprise to me! Kook’s involvement in writing this track doesn’t go unnoticed in the emotion that is present in his voice (amongst Joon and Jin, of course), but there’s also something about this song that goes straight for the heartstrings in the pledge of continued loyalty that is subliminal in its subtlety. I adored this song and this track’s EDM style was a wonderful finale of the album in its summation that there are low points in life (as the first few tracks suggest) and that there are high points and life. I think that through this song, the three boys who sang in it were wonderful in their energy that was so vibrant.

 It was wonderful to hear the three of them meld together in a unit that also was unlike what we have heard before. I know the song must have meant a lot to the three of them because Joon is Kook’s role model as he has stated many times and to sing with one’s idol would certainly be a powerful thing, indeed. The fact that Jin was in it too much have had so much meaning for Kook since Jin is like a brother to him and took care of him (and honestly, he still does, let’s be real) when he was younger.

The song’s lyrics themselves reach out to the ARMY that Jungkook said the song was meant for in his, Joon’s and Jin’s efforts to remind us that, as their fans, they hope that we will always remain with them and that they know the times are going to change for the better. I enjoyed this song very much and it would definitely be a song you’d listen to be reminded of the love that BTS has for you and that despite everything, you will always have a place with them even if you feel lost in the world around you. I think a situation you’d put this on would be when you are need just that extra bit of confidence to get you through an anxiety inducing time whether it be a test for school or even a meeting for work.

With all of this in mind, my favorite songs are as follows: Dis-ease, Telepathy, Stay and Life Goes On. It is hard to pick a favorite among those four, but those were my most liked tracks for sure!

Overall, I think the album definitely is one meant to soothe the soul and the boys have succeeded in that without fail. It is clear that the boys worked hard on this and their efforts were not vain! This is an album that I think we all needed to close out a tough year and it took me some to get all my thoughts together, but now that I have listened to the whole album once again, I’m liking it more with each time I hear it. It is always amazing to me how BTS continues to do what no one else does: letting their genuine feelings shine through their music that inspires light in so many. I am proud of each and every one of them and they deserve some hard earned rest after their efforts!

[yurimother]

LGBTQ Visual Novel Review – The Expression Amrilato

I adore any work that tries to do something different with yuri, and visual novels are perhaps the medium pushing boundaries most when it comes to traditional yuri storytelling. I recently played such a visual novel, Mangagamer’s English adaptation of SukeraSparo’s The Expression Amrilato. The Expression Amrilato is an educational yuri game, focusing on teaching the player the international language of Esperanto, or Juliamo as it is known in the game’s world. The game was developed in collaboration with The Japanese Esperanto Institute and I was thoroughly excited to not only experience a cute yuri adventure but to learn something new!

The story begins when the protagonist, Rin, is transported to a mysterious parallel world. It is almost identical to her own with the only obvious differences being the language spoken and the eternally pink sky. Lost and scared, Rin frantically tries to figure out what is going on to no avail. Fortunately, she is saved by a younger girl, Ruka, who speaks a smattering of the Japanese familiar to Rin.

Soon Rin is registered as a vizitanto (the Esperanto term for visitor), a person who traveled to the world from another. Ruka, who again, is three years her junior, is established as her guardian, a dynamic Rin is somewhat embarrassed by. The two girls begin living together in Ruka’s apartment as Rin learns the basics of Juliamo. She is assisted in this endeavor by Ruka and the helpful, if somewhat mischievous, librarian, Rei.

These three women, Rin, Ruka, and Rei, are the main cast of the visual novel. By focusing on such a small cast SukeraSparo was able to give each of them a distinct personality, complexity, and intricate relationships with each other. As previously mentioned, Rei is mischievous and often pokes fun at Rin and Ruka. However, she is incredibly protective of both of them, giving advice and acting as a sort of parent to the two younger girls. This dichotomy of character works surprisingly well, especially later in the game as she reveals more about the world and her past.

Rei is excellent but the highlight of the game is Ruka and Rin. Rin is a superb protagonist. She often thinks and narrates inwardly, giving us insight into her feelings. She describes herself as pretty unremarkable but is determined to be good at one thing, learning Juliamo. She also constantly ponders and overthinks her relationship with Ruka, an incredibly complicated topic. Ruka, however, is much more quietly confident and reserve (as well as adorable). Although the younger girl is prone to pouting and frustration at Rin’s occasional stupidity. But, their relationship is the real highlight of the game. 

Rin is “freeloading” off Ruka, and as Ruka is her guardian and teacher she is subservient. However, these tables are turned at times as Rin helps to teach Ruka more Japanese. Rin is also attracted to Ruka but she often blunders attempts to navigate or explain her feelings. The main boundary here is their language difference, which compels both Rin and the player to do their best learning Juliamo.

Rei acts as Rin’s primary resource for learning about the world she has wandered into. There is a surprising amount and world-building in The Expression Amrilato, particularly around the mechanics of how vizitanto come to the world and how governments support them. The established systems for how these vizitanto exist and assimilate, or not, into the world are fascinating and incredibly well thought out. This detailed setting creates an excellent framework for both the game’s education aspects and the core romance.

Overall, the romantic plot between Rin and Ruka is nothing new, it is the same “girl meets girl, girls likes girl, they get together” plot that has been told and retold countless times in the genre. This is not to say the romance is not enjoyable. Rin’s embarrassment and fumbling attempts to control her feelings for Ruka are simultaneously adorable and hilarious. The game has some fun with cliche moments like Rin falling into Ruka and them ending in a compromised position but also has some excellent human moments between the two, such as Ruka sleeping next to Rin to comfort her. The visual novel is decently tame with a little bit of suggestive description and one non-nude bathing scene early on. The lack of service feels appropriate and the characters are still able to hold their own romantic and sexual identities, a welcome accomplishment in the yuri genre which often spends too much time focusing on girls freaking out that they like other girls.

Choices exist in the game, primarily around using the Juliamo language. However, the romance and Rin’s fate ends in one of three ways, good, neutral, or bad, according to late game choices. I strongly disliked the choices as, for the most part, they have no clear indicator of where they are going, turning the story into guesswork, which was indeed my process to find all three endings, replaying the last section over and over again. Furthermore, on some routes, the choices that most players will want to make can lock them out of the best ending. I also was baffled by the choice to not have the player’s aptitude with Juliamo factor into the ending, as you can fail every quiz and get every dialogue option wrong and this will not affect the endings at all. Fortunately, the choices that do affect the ending are late in the game, so backtracking to find your desired outcome is possible. 

The character designs and artwork are by Naruse Chisato, and she does a fantastic job. Each of the major characters looks are distinctive, with differing heights, body types, fashion sense, and proportions. I particularly enjoyed the varying outfits on Ruka and her facial expressions (especially when pouting). However, the characters often have a stiff cardboard feel to them, as they have very few poses and clash somewhat against the depth of the backgrounds. Additionally, some of the expressions, particularly on Rei, appear warped and unnatural.

The backgrounds and CG artwork, the latter of which are plentiful, are wonderful. They have a soft pastel look without ever being washed out, and the characters here appear much more at home in their environments and more animated, with cutouts frequently appearing in CGs to show action. Different art assets used in the educational scenes such as flashcards or writing on a chalkboard are excellent editions. Unfortunately, as the story takes place primarily in Ruka’s apartment and the library, the player will quickly become bored by these backgrounds and long for a change of scenery.

The voice talent matches the artwork in its high quality. This is particularly important in this game, as listening to language pronunciation is vital. The actresses easily switch between Esperanto and Japanese in a natural-sounding way. Great praise must be given to voice actresses for Rin and Ruka, Nagatsuma Juri and Uchida Shuu respectively, who convincingly stuttering and struggling over the languages their characters are learning while still being comprehensible.

Sadly, I found the soundtrack to be severely lacking. The game opens with an intro song, accompanied by animation, which was nice for a listen or two but I quickly grew tired of it. This is the most praise I have to offer the music. Most of the tracks are boring at best and at worst grate on the ears with discordant and irritating sounds. If I had not been playing the game to review it I would have disabled music after the first hour.

Finally, I cannot conclude my review of The Expression Amrilato without talking about the educational aspects and value of the game. For those of you who may not have known or have forgotten, when I am not writting about gay anime I am a teacher and spend a great deal of time studying pedagogy. Educational software can be an amazing tool for teaching, as it offers three key benefits, feedback, increased engagement, and interactivity. Using these criteria and just some of the knowledge I have gained from spending my entire life in school, although not always as a student, I examined how The Expression Amrilato teaches Esperanto.

The language is primarily taught through quiz-based learning. There are seven lessons which build on each other and the player then answers questions on. I was surprised by the variety in these quizzes, as they are not always just spouting the vocabulary word to name an object but can involve sentence and grammatical construction as well. Some of them are quite creative, such as when learning the parts of the body the player clicks on Ruka to identify the word she gives. These quizzes can be accessed independently after playing through them via the main menu and there is a Juliamo dictionary, although this is unlocked much later in the game than I would have liked.

Outside of the quizzes, new vocabulary and grammatical rules are often given and old ones reviewed, which appear as little pop-in at the side of the screen that gives pronunciation and spelling. Some gameplay sections of the visual novel have Rin complete actions that review previous lessons, such as going out shopping and needing to name the foods she buys. I enjoyed these sections in particular, as they felt more compelling to me than the quizzes ever did.

Given the criteria for education software, The Expression Amrilato does an okay but not amazing job. It does offer instant feedback, telling the player if they got a question wrong and giving them the correct answer, and has limited interactivity. However, on this front, I cannot help but wonder if the medium is holding the game back. The player never has many complicated choices or questions, and cannot write in answers or construct sentences. Instead, the quizzes and story sections are limited almost exclusively to multiple-choice selection. Engagement is probably where the game shines most, as it has a deep story and amazing art to compliment the learning.

The Expression Amrilato is a unique and enjoyable experience. The story has surprising depth, although it did little to break out of genre tropes. The game’s artwork is stupendous, giving both quality designs and backgrounds and a plethora of great CGs. The yuri romance is reliably cute and serves as a fun framework for learning Esperanto. While not pedagogically perfect, you will get out of the game what you put into it and, with a bit of work, you should walk away with some basics of the language and a big smile from those animated lesbians. 

Ratings: Story – 7 Characters – 8 Art – 9 Voice – 7 Music – 2 Education – 5 LGBTQ – 5 Lewdness – 2 Final – 7

Review copy provided by MangaGamer

You can purchase The Expression Amrilato from Steam, Mangagamer’s website, and other digital storefronts.

Mangagamer is offering free review copies to any and all educational institutes that endorse Esperanto learning.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 12/1/20

Cutie and the Beast, Vol. 1 | By Yuhi Azumi| Seven Seas – This looked cute, and gave off a very My Love Story!! vibe, but I was wary of the fact that one of the leads is in his late twenties and the other is a senior in high school. That said, unlike a lot of other romance titles from Japan that adore this sort of couple, the manga makes their age difference the main conflict. He’s a famous pro wrestler, and getting involved with a girl her age, even if she is eighteen, would be career-killing. On the other hand… these two have fallen hard for each other almost at first sight, and can’t stop texting, calling, meeting up, etc. Now, how this will play out I’m not sure. Pretty sure they’ll get together, but I bet his career does take a big hit. Nice to see the manga address it, though. – Sean Gaffney

How Do We Relationship?, Vol. 1 | By Tamifull | Viz Media – “Opposites attract” is a common enough trope, but it is utilized to great effect and with notable complexity in How Do We Relationship?. The manga follows two young women in college as they begin dating each other—the somewhat shy and innocent Miwa and the much more boisterous and experienced Saeko. Navigating a new relationship is rarely easy and a romance between two women has additional sets of challenges, as Saeko in particular is very aware. While Miwa and Saeko’s deepening feelings are obviously core to the story, their relationships with friends and classmates play critical roles as well. One of the things that impressed me the most about the first volume of How Do We Relationship? was just how believable and realistic all of these different relationships were. The characterization of the leads is wonderfully nuanced, too. I’m really looking forward to reading more of the series. – Ash Brown

Komi Can’t Communicate, Vol. 9 | By Tomohito Oda | Viz Media – Most of this Komi volume revolves around Valentine’s Day, which as always presents the author with a conundrum: how do I make them give chocolates and be the cutest couple ever without actually making them a couple or having them confess? Rest assured, though, fans of Komi and Tadano will find endless scenes to love here. My favorite may be Tadano’s sister trying to get him to admit his feelings, then being rather annoyed when he actually comes close to doing so. Fortunately, as the title suggests, Komi is not very good at communicating, so things stay the same for now. Still, I suspect we need something to shake things up. Perhaps a new love interest could magically arrive soon? – Sean Gaffney

My Hero Academia, Vol. 25 | By Kohei Horikoshi | Viz Media – Shigaraki’s backstory is as terrifying and traumatic as you might imagine—let’s just say the hands he wears aren’t just for show. So it’s back to our heroes, who are practicing how to do hero interviews (Midoriya’s goes as badly as you’d expect) and also preparing for the next round of internships. Oh yes, and celebrating Christmas, which is adorable and also has Eri Santa. As for internships, Nighteye is dead and his agency is too busy to take him in, and Best Jeanist is missing, so Bakugou’s in limbo as well. Todoroki suggests an obvious idea: all three of them could intern with the best dad ever. All of this is clearly setting up a huge battle in the upcoming books, but it’s fun to see. – Sean Gaffney

Ossan Idol!, Vol. 1 | By Ichika Kino and Mochiko Mochida | TOKYOPOP – Adapted from a light novel, Ossan Idol! is the story of Miroku Osaki, a virginal, pure of heart, and unemployed 36-year-old who has spent the last decade as a shut-in. He’s always been overweight, but once he discovers a love of dance, he starts training at a gym with Yoichi Kisaragi, who was once overweight himself. Soon, Miroku is buff, handsome, and charming and the karaoke video he accidentally uploads to the internet becomes a viral sensation. The volume concludes with a famous producer declaring he’ll turn Miroku into an idol, and not just him but Yoichi (41) and dancer pal Shiju (40), too. All in all, this is a pleasing bit of fluff that I don’t have a lot to say about either positively or negatively. I will probably check out volume two, at least, to see where the story goes. – Michelle Smith

Sadako at the End of the World | By Koma Natsumi and Koji Suzuki | Yen Press – The premise of this one-volume manga—What if the girl from The Ring ended up in a post-apocalyptic world?—made me wonder if it would be horror or melancholic like Girls’ Last Tour. It’s pretty much both. Sadako, particularly once the artist gives her a tablet to communicate with, is not as scary here, and the girls she’s with are an innocent delight. But as they meet the few remaining people in this world along the way, there’s a definite sense she’s also going back and doing what she does best to each of them. The ending tries for sort of a fourth-wall-breaking thing but I think it was simply there as the author wasn’t sure how to end it after the cast was gone. A good read overall, though. – Sean Gaffney

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle, Vol. 13 | By Kagiji Kumanomata | Viz Media After reading my brief of the last volume, I feel a need to eat my words. The combination of this new volume and the currently running anime have made me realize: yes, there is real character development here. Syalis at the start of the series was a gag character who would murder at the drop of a hat. Here, while she’s still extremely flaky, she’s doing her best to unite humans and demons, even if this means completing all the Demon Lord’s paperwork—in ONE DAY. Even better, when the Cleric waffles on about his feelings for her and the reason he ran away from the castle, Syalis points out something: who she likes is her own decision. Our Sleepy Princess is all grown up! – Sean Gaffney

Sweat and Soap, Vol. 4 | By Kintetsu Yamada | Kodansha Comics – There’s a chapter of sex here, in case you were looking for that, but for the most part this series would rather deal with the sweet tensions of a young couple in love trying to negotiate how to do that and still be attentive to the other partner’s needs. Their couple-ness is now generally known to the office, though we have not quite told the parents yet—I suspect that will be next book. More importantly, they are talking about moving in together, something that requires charts and sticky notes, because these two are organized and also adorable. And they are also still very much desiring each other as well—the sex here is hot. One of the best romance mangas to come out in 2020. – Sean Gaffney

What the Font?! – A Manga Guide to Western Typeface | By Kuniichi Ashiya| Seven Seas – This is pretty much exactly what you’d expect. A young woman is told to layout a presentation, but has never done this before. While studying Western fonts, she falls asleep… and meets personifications of many of them, both Serif and Sans. Each font has a personality, they talk about themselves and their history, and then we move on. If you’re expecting Hetalia antics, look elsewhere—there’s no plot to speak of, and the fonts are not the most riveting characters. If you do want to learn about the differences between Western typefaces, though, this is a good enough guide for you, though I suspect it works even better in Japanese. – Sean Gaffney

Whisper Me a Love Song, Vol. 1 | By Eku Takeshima | Kodansha Comics – The cover of this volume is quite striking, and it led me to believe that this would be somehow different from your standard “high school girls in love” story. Unfortunately, it really isn’t. Yori Asanagi is a talented singer who fills in with the light music club band for a performance at the entrance ceremony Himari Kino is attending. Himari promptly informs Yori she’s fallen for her at first sight and Yori believes she means it romantically (instead of merely as a fan), and instantly falls in love herself. Characterizations here are shallow, particularly for Yori’s would-be bandmates, and there’s just not much going on that’s especially interesting. The one exception is that Himari’s enthusiastic appreciation for Yori’s singing is seemingly helping her to overcome some confidence issues. I’ll give this one more volume, I think, to see how it develops. – Michelle Smith

You Are My Princess | By Hiroto Kujirada | Futekiya (digital only) – Itsumi Tachibana is a scary-looking guy who secretly loves kitties. He’s surprised when the princely student council president, Seima Takajo, confesses romantic feelings for him, and suspects he’s being made fun of. After spending more time with Takajo, however, and realizing he’s the only one Takajo allows himself to be unguarded around, Itsumi’s feelings change. Plot-wise, You Are My Princess isn’t terribly unique. The guys get together, they have sex in the final chapter, the end. What makes it special, though, is Kujirada-sensei’s clean and expressive artwork, the nonverbal storytelling, and the little moments in which Takajo drops the facade and reveals real vulnerability. And also kitties. In the end, I enjoyed this cute story and look forward to more by this creator! – Michelle Smith

By: Ash Brown

[norelationtoatticus]

So...........anyone want to read my long, hyper-excited essay on why Sansa and Tyrion belong together, using character wound theory as evidence?

No?

Too bad. Here it is anyway. I have high-key shipped these two for years, alone in the darkness, because everyone thought I was crazy. Well, I don't look so crazy after that hand kiss, now do I?! (To all of you fellow long-time Sanrion shippers out there: I salute you.) Some people are just starting to ship them after that last episode. Some don’t see it at all and think that the idea of them together is off the wall and out of nowhere. I am here as a longtime weird-o cheerleader for these two to offer some perspective. Ship them or don’t, live your life! But they are definitely not coming out of nowhere. And here are 1500 words explaining why!!! 

(lololol...I have a problem, guys.)

Anyway, here's the essay. I’m putting this under a cut because the last couple of paragraphs do contain spoilers for the most recent episode, Season 8 Ep. 3.

First, an intro to character wounds, in case you are not a writer type or have not studied this concept.

When creating a character and setting them on their inner journey, one aspect writers tend to develop is the character's wound. A wound is a dark, sucking abyss in a character's psyche that influences all of their actions and choices. Typically, it comes from some sort of trauma in their past. This wound is all-encompassing. It affects their relationships, their decisions, their journey, as they seek (usually unconsciously) to fill or heal the wound. It's like a black hole around which the character's personality and motives swirl.

The reason why I think Sansa and Tyrion are completely perfect for each other? They have complementary wounds.

Let me explain.

Tyrion's wound is that no one has ever wanted him. I mean that on a multitude of levels. His father and sister detested him, made it quite clear that they did not want him in their family. They spent years telling him that his mother had died rather than have to raise him, which is awful and not true, but of course he has internalized their abuse. Even Jaime, who loves him, sides with Cersei and Tywin when it matters most. He loves Tyrion, but Tyrion is never his first choice. Even though Tyrion is obviously the most clever person in King's Landing, no one wants his advice or council. He's made Hand of the King, but immediately gets demoted as soon as his father comes back. Sexually and romantically, no one has ever wanted him. (In the show, anyway. Remember, he does not know the truth about Tysha in the show.) Even though he is one of the more sexually active characters early on, both he and the narrative make it a point to really hammer home that all of his experience is with prostitutes. He has never had a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman he didn't have to pay. All of this motivates him. This is what ties him to Daenerys, what keeps him loyal to her even when he really doesn't like some of her choices; he stays with her because she chose him. She threatens him, questions him, doesn't listen to him, accuses him of treason, and does a lot of things that Tyrion is not comfortable with. But he stays. Because she chose him. This is his wound. No one has ever wanted him. He has never been anyone's first choice.

Sansa's wound is that she has spent so much of her life as a prisoner, unable to make her own choices. That has been her entire journey. She went from being a prisoner in King's Landing, to a prisoner--albeit one with a bit more agency--with Littlefinger, to being a prisoner in Winterfell. She has been caged, trapped, forced into two marriages, used as a political tool by people like the Lannisters, the Tyrells, and Littlefinger who only see her as a pawn. She has had her bodily autonomy violated in the worst ways. She has been beaten and raped. Everyone took away her right to choose. Every step of the way, Sansa clawed and scraped to be able to make just a few choices of her own, to grab just a bit of her agency back. But for a long time, she was making whatever small, survival-based choices she could within the confines of various cages. Even now, she is bound to serve the choices of people who are more powerful than her--people like Daenerys, but also Jon. She is much freer now, and we have seen her taking up space and making choices for the past two seasons, at least. But she has more to do if she's really going to come into her own and take charge of her role. This is Sansa's wound: her imprisonment, the stripping of her agency, her lack of free will.

See? They're complementary. They're a matched set. And they offer each other a path to healing:

Sansa needs to make her own choices. And Tyrion needs to be chosen. 

What a lovely symmetry. It's like something deep in each of them has been calling out for the other.

There's more, too. 

On their awful, painful wedding night all those years ago, Tyrion was handed all of Sansa's agency. Now, let's be very clear: not raping someone should not be a high bar standard we're celebrating. That's awful. But in the world of GoT, where rape is so common place and lightly-used, I genuinely don't think many men would have done what Tyrion did. And then he did something even better. Sansa had been trapped, imprisoned, for a while by that point. She had no freedom, no choice. Tyrion had all of her free will held tightly in his grasp. He could have done anything to her, and no one would have blinked. But not only did her refuse to do anything against her will, he took it a step further. He handed some of her freedom of choice back to her. He didn't just refuse to abuse her. He actually literally said, "I will not share your bed until you want me to." Until you want me to. He handed a little bit of power back to her in that moment, and he never once tried to take it away again, even when Sansa said, "What if I never want you to?" To be clear, I do not ship them in this time period. Not even close. This marriage was awful, even though they found some kindness in it. Sansa never could have learned to love Tyrion back then. She was a child. They had both been forced into the marriage. And she was so ruthlessly trapped and imprisoned in King's Landing, there was no way she could ever feel anything but fear and hate while she was there. But now? With some years of distance? With some growth for both of them? When they're both free to choose it? I suspect real feelings could grow between them.

Until you want me to... ...What if I never want you to?

You know, she never actually said no, never. Maybe she just need a lot of years and a lot of change...

There's also just the fact that they really complement each other, in terms of personality and what I think they would each want in a partner. Their minds and the way they think are a matched set. They're both very intelligent, ruthless when they need to be, and yet kind and good at their cores. Sansa is one of very few people in the world who can stand up beside Tyrion, match him wit for wit, cover his blind spots, act as a real partner to him. And Tyrion is literally everything Sansa has ever wanted, exactly the kind of man she admired in all the romantic songs: a brave, noble, handsome, heroic lord with a heart of gold. She just had to do some growing before she could see all of that in him, because he’s not exactly conventional.

Anyway, long story short, Sansa and Tyrion are legit perfect for each other. This is why I ship them. This is why you should be shipping them. (Please, good lord, more people ship them. There is not a whole lot of Sansa/Tyrion fic, and I really don't have the time to write it all by myself, guys.)

Do I think they're actually going to get together in the show? Maybe! Maybe not! Who knows! I won't be upset if they're not actually canon. I still love the pair. This show doesn’t do romance super well, and romance is not often a priority, so I am definitely not holding my breath. But I do have a few thoughts.

As to whether or not they're actually going to get together on the show, a few thoughts from the last episode: 

1) The damn world was ending, they were all about to die, this was not an opportune time to be flirting with each other! But did that stop them? No, it did not. 

2) The moment that they shared in the crypts, backs to the wall, side by side, and sure they were about to die, was one of the most intimate moments this show has ever given us. These were two people who deeply understood one another, acknowledging without words that there was a whole world of things left unsaid between them. That hand kiss? So tender. So loving. And yes, of course you could take that scene as platonic. Maybe it was. Quite possible. But, in my defense, I know and follow a whole lot of romance authors. Most of the romance authors I know saw that moment as deeply, wildly romantic, even if they had never shipped this pair before. So there's that, from a bunch of people who write romance for a living.

3) Sansa told Tyrion they would never work because of his loyalty to Daenerys. This felt...um...first of all...like a hell of a conversation to be having while you think the world is ending. I would not be surprised if Sansa was laying some ground work, trying to get ahead of the curve in grabbing Tyrion to her side in case they actually survived. It made me think Sansa has Plans ™ . But also, this one feels obvious, tbh. The show has been building up a conflict and a tension between Tyrion and Daenerys for two seasons now. He has made a lot of bad calls that have her questioning his judgement and loyalty. She has made plenty of her own bad calls that have him questioning whether she is fit to rule.They are ready for a blow out. And if Sansa presents another option? If Sansa is there as someone who wants him, wants to choose him, wants to love him? I suspect Tyrion’s loyalty won't be split for long.

[jjungkooksthighs]

1st: I enjoyed the album. Top 3 are Stay, Dis-ease and Telepathy 💃🏽I'll be honest, I liked the MV for Life Goes On but there was something going on with the bass 🧐 plays fine on spotify tho. I know there's people out there that are really struggling during these times and the songs hit harder personally for them while other people weren't expecting the style Life Goes On brings. Its an album for the fans and not my 1st choice if I was trying recruit new people lol Hope I made sense XD💜

 You made sense! I totally feel this. I am a dedicated and very loyal fan myself as someone that has been following them since their debut in 2013, so I have supported them for a very long time and will continue to do so for the many years yet to come.

However, if I had someone I was trying to introduce BTS to, I think I would show them the previous work of BTS like Love Yourself: Tear or Wings, for example. Maybe after that, I would bring this album to their attention, but I would definitely recommend BE for those who are struggling. It is a good source of comfort, for sure, if you are going through a rough time and I can understand how others would love this album as I have already seen. I think the boys put in work for this one and it definitely shows! I’m especially proud of Kook for his directing skills in the MV. It was very well done and I am so glad he seemed to have had a good time doing that as he stated in the Global Press Conference yesterday!

BE is a very interesting album in terms of the styles of the songs with three of the eight being retro-themed (Dynamite, Telepathy and Dis-ease) with the other three being slower and more melancholy (Life Goes On, Blue and Grey and Fly To My Room). Personally, I liked 7 better than this one, but that is just my opinion! I have seen lots of other people on Tumblr commenting their favorite songs off BE amongst other loving praises that I’ve come across and I think that is wonderful. 

For me, though, I will say that Life Goes On definitely caught me off guard as I wasn’t expecting that style of song at all. Despite that, the fact that my bias directed this MV was something very unique that I really enjoyed seeing. If words would embody this song, I would choose succor’s solace as the epitome of this track. It is relief rolled into audio and it is such a gift to have a song like this in the hard times that we have been attacked with. This is certainly a song that you’d listen to on the way home from work after a long day or while you’re in the midst of studying, doing schoolwork or even at home working on assignments or tasks for your job. It is also something you’d listen to when you feel like the problems and struggles you face are just too much and need to be reminded that, per the song’s title, life continues on and that we must push forward to enjoy the little things and the big. I liked this track the most, I think. I myself am facing some things in my life right now and the core message of this song resonated deeply with me. To that end, this track is every bit the comfort song they intended it to be and this song, along with Spring Day, sit at the same table for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Fly To My Room’s mellow beat is something that I think would be a great listen at night after the trials and woes of the day and it was interesting to see sope/vmin in the same track and how those two subunits meshed together to create something entirely new and unseen before. 

Blue and Grey... this one sounded familiar to me and it took me all but two seconds to realize where I had heard it before. This is the same song that Taehyung teased in Bon Voyage when he was sitting in the canoe out on the lake. The song sounded so very different in this rendition and I was very surprised to see this song in the album when I had originally thought it would be in Tae’s mixtape! This is definitely a song you listen to in the rain and when the sun has been masked by the clouds in the sky. It is also a song you’d listen to once the sun has set and you walk outside just to have some fresh air and reminisce either about the past or to think on the stresses of your present. I think this track has the power to ease both and that is a powerful thing, indeed.

Telepathy I really liked! I think the upbeat form of this one definitely was a nice break from the slow beat of the first three songs on the album and, because this one is BTS’s love letter to ARMY, I think that is a very special thing that we as their fans should cherish in their thought towards us during the times that have befallen us and taken from us (and them) their ability to see us beyond a screen. I think the flow of the song is perfect and the flux of the voices of the members works very well for the positive energy they are trying to instill in it. From beginning of this song, when I heard it, I knew I was going to like it. It had a starry, celestial vibe to it and for some reason, when I hear it, I think of shooting stars that fly through the night sky. True to that image, this is a song you’d listen to when you’re with friends to recall the bonds you make with those closest to you (and those farthest from you) no matter where in the world they are. This is a song you’d also listen to to PARTY PARTY, YEAH! (I’m sorry, but ever since I heard that from Kook, it has been living in my mind rent free) In any case, this is a nice song to uplift you and would also be good to put on after a bad day so that you can look back on all the good things life despite the bad. That message is a very strong one, indeed, so that definitely makes this song a favorited one for me.

As an English major at my university, the title of Dis-ease was interesting as someone that often studies semantics and semiotics in language and literature. It was intriguing to see that they chose to deconstruct the word of disease and split it into its alternative form to convey an entirely new meaning from what one might assume the word means at first glance. While they could have chosen to name the song DISEASE, which is a word associated with sickness, illness or an ailing, afflicted health condition that most link with weakness and feebleness, BTS decided to utilize a play on words and use an older version of the word that now has two different meanings linked with it, I found it fascinating that they named the song what they did, for dis-ease was often used in the past to denote a lack of ease or absence of relief in an individual. It was only later that the word was changed once individuals started tagging health related conditions with actual infections or maladies when viruses and mental illnesses began to gain a name for themselves in the colonizing world. Ironically enough, the word dis-ease is now used by medical practitioners in healing environments for individuals that are on the road to eudemonia or betterment of themselves and the word is purposefully used to endow awareness of compromised health on a singular cause or root.

I don’t think I need to explain why that is significant in the scheme of the situation that our world has come to, but I shall say it anyway: this is meaningful in that BTS decides to fight back and combat the negativity that would threaten to swallow them (and those who listen and internalize the lyrics of the song for themselves and thusly feel the message they are trying to give to us) to instead grapple and wrestle with it by loudly bringing attention to it rather than allowing it to silently consume and germinate within them. This, for me, was very empowering to hear and is one of the many reasons why I appreciate this song in particular amongst the lyrics that target and attack the “diseases” that would try to take from us our wellbeing. The track is a battle cry to keep fighting and that, in it of itself, is a very powerful thing that strikes very deep within me. The bridge at the end with Kook and Jimin, by the way… literal EARGASM, MA’AM. Anyway, this is a song that you’d listen to in the morning to get yourself hype for the day. It is something you’d put on in the desire to boost your spirits if they are low and honestly could be listened to in any situation.

Lastly, we have Stay. This subunit of NamKookJin was certainly a pleasant surprise to me! Kook’s involvement in this track doesn’t go unnoticed in the emotion that is present in his voice (amongst Joon and Jin, of course), but there’s also something about this song that goes straight for the heartstrings in the pledge of continued loyalty that is subliminal in its subtlety. I adored this song and this track’s EDM style was a wonderful finale of the album in its summation that there are low points in life (as the first few tracks suggest) and that there are high points and life. I think that through this song, the three boys who sang in it were wonderful in their energy that was so vibrant. It was wonderful to hear the three of them meld together in a unit that also was unlike what we have heard before. I know the song must have meant a lot to the three of them because Joon is Kook’s role model as he has stated many times and to sing with one’s idol would certainly be a powerful thing, indeed. The fact that Jin was in it too much have had so much meaning for Kook since Jin is like a brother to him and took care of him (and honestly, he still does, let’s be real) when he was younger. 

The song’s lyrics themselves reach out to the ARMY that Jungkook said the song was meant for in his, Joon’s and Jin’s efforts to remind us that, as their fans, they hope that we will always remain with them and that they know the times are going to change for the better. I enjoyed this song very much and it would definitely be a song you’d listen to be reminded of the love that BTS has for you and that despite everything, you will always have a place with them even if you feel lost in the world around you. I think a situation you’d put this on would be when you are need just that extra bit of confidence to get you through an anxiety inducing time whether it be a test for school or even a meeting for work.

With all of this in mind, my favorite songs are as follows: Dis-ease, Telepathy, Stay and Life Goes On. It is hard to pick a favorite among those four, but those were my most liked tracks for sure!

Overall, I think the album definitely is one meant to soothe the soul and the boys have succeeded in that without fail. It is clear that the boys worked hard on this and their efforts were not vain! This is an album that I think we all needed to close out a tough year and it took me some to get all my thoughts together, but now that I have listened to the whole album once again, I’m liking it more with each time I hear it. It is always amazing to me how BTS continues to do what no one else does: letting their genuine feelings shine through their music that inspires light in so many. I am proud of each and every one of them and they deserve some hard earned rest after their efforts!

[cozycryptidcorner]

Here is a monster match for the resilient @moonlightreetops! Information about getting your very own monster match can be found here.

“INFJ, my sun sign is Cancer, moon sign is Pisces rising sign is Sagittarius, also ADHD inattentive soo...  🙃very forgetful due to depression and said ADHD. I'm very empathetic but can get a little too passionate with my emotions sometimes. I cry at every movie I see. No exceptions. I spend most of my time world building or painting for dnd campaigns.  Or reading. I also love hiking with my dogs as it's the only time I really get out of the house. I grew up in professional theater so the drama kid heart in me is still very strong. Whoever's my match needs to be prepared for a little bit of "extra", if you catch my drift.”

Your android isn’t fresh off the production shelves, not by a long shot, but he was tossed away as ‘defective’ shortly after being built. For whatever reason, though, whoever did it was sloppy, since the master switch to shut everything down hadn’t been pressed, resulting in your android being in ‘sleep mode’ for just over a decade. During that time, his software would remotely update, going with the flow of whatever the programmers would write, but his actual hardware could hardly keep up. He soon became an outdated model, as one does in this reality of rapidly evolving technology, and the updates weren’t exactly written for the machinery of his caliber. Yet, for whatever reason, his inner core kept accepting the incoming software, ultimately resulting in something inside him snapping awake.

Both he and you theorize that it must have been the time, plus the updates, and perhaps even the constant exposure to the elements that ignited some kind of self-awareness within his inner core. Or, it could just be a matter of time for all the other androids to follow, as he was without any mechanical checkups monitoring his awareness for quite a long while. Whatever the case may be, he’s present and in the moment, very much alive, and really can’t let many people in on that secret because god knows what will happen to him because of it. While it might be a little awkward for him to plaster a smile on his face and act like a shell, thanks to all the new cybernetic technologies, most androids tend to look and act very human, so he can get away with a lot more than he might of back when he was fresh out of the factory.

Since he was outside decomposing with the rest of the junk, his parts weren’t exactly in tip-top shape. It took a lot of careful, slow repairs to get him to even be able to walk again. Even though his central wiring system seemed to be in working order, most of his limbs and joints rusted over and eroded, so those also had to be either oiled and cleaned vigorously or unscrewed and completely replaced. Tiny seeds and saplings had taken to start growing in the metallic crevices of his body, so those had to be thoroughly washed out, and his standard blue steel had been tinted green with moss. It certainly was a look, that’s for sure, but not something that a functioning android can rock and still be able to stand on both their feet.

One of the interesting things about his type is that his synthetic skin and hair can change color whenever he feels like it, and while he might need the necessary coding for the color, once he has it, he can switch back and forth. Neon pink hair one day, then a muted, plain brown the next, it gives him an edge for blending in with, say, a rave party or a rock concert at a moment’s notice. Not that he needs to run, no, to both of your knowledge, he’s in no danger of discovery. Still, if it should it come to that, his power of camouflage might come in handy. Maybe it was a little shocking when he blinked that one time and turned his eyes blood-red, but you quickly got used to it.

Besides the fact that he can turn his skin blue the moment he wants, he looks like a regular, run of the mill person, as any signs of being made of machinery have been carefully covered up. But, like with most other androids, there are little, tiny ticks that a well-trained person might see. The way he sometimes focuses on something a little too hard, since he can zoom his eyesight in like a microscope, or the way he stands ridiculously still when at rest. Or even how he might know something about someone that may seem strange since he likes to look over a person’s social media profiles while speaking to them.

Your android likes to multitask and often has a very exact schedule for what he is doing and when. For example, he might get off his overnight charging station at five in the morning sharp, though he really doesn’t need to use it anymore, his battery has been replaced by one of those crazy nuclear fission boxes. After getting dressed in some athletic wear, he will then go for a run, not that he has any muscles to work out with. Still, he likes the feeling of the air on his face, but it helps the whole song and dance of being human, as someone will see him do the action and then internalize it without realizing it.

Then, once he gets back, he’ll make breakfast. He can’t eat, and really entirely depends on your tastebuds to do all the work, but his skill vastly improves with everything he manages to make. Once he is done with your breakfast, he will clean, and then exactly at 7:02 am, he will go off to work. His work isn’t exactly the same as, say, an office job with a guaranteed yearly salary. Your android is, after all, technically a non-citizen, and doesn’t have any of the many documents needed to prove that he’s allowed to work. Everything he does has to be under the table and off the radar.

His work, then, is a rather unorthodox way of making money. Freelance stuff, really, things that he can do quickly without having to become a full-time employee. On one end, he does photography, and since his eyes have the nifty little habit of seeing things that a human might not right off the bat, he tends to get some snapshots of things that others don’t. It also helps that he can climb, hide, dodge, and reach places that humans probably don’t want to risk. Climbing to the very top of a building just to get that photo of the sun rising over the bridge? Done, and his editor has no idea how he even managed to get it. Squeezing through a poorly constructed alley to find a nest of pigeons for a piece on animal life in the city? Good thing he doesn’t actually have to breath. It might not bring in the same kind of money as some fancy executive lawyer, but it’s just about all he can do.

Sometimes he might get frustrated when his schedule doesn’t seem to work out because he likes his life to be easy to sort and simple to categorize. It took a little while for him to be able to loosen up about the strictness of which he holds himself, slowing relaxing and allowing life to show him the wonders that is has to offer without chasing something else insistently. His photography began to improve vastly, mostly because he is now looking beyond just the object and the background, he is now looking for the soul outside of the basic image. Like humans, your android does appreciate beauty for what it is, though in a more mathematical, clinical sense. Things like flowers, shells, moon phases, or even weather patterns all hold a unique appeal to him that tends to lean outside of their traditional aesthetic sense.

Your android is very, very grounded in reality. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t really have a concept of what ‘imagination’ is, but his thoughts, his actions, his hopes are all squarely within the realms of his perceived existence. One of the drawbacks to this is that he doesn’t often allow himself to play along with anyone’s fanciful ‘what if’ scenarios because he will be the first one to let that person know that the idea is bad, and it might get someone killed, or that it’s just not even worth doing. It takes some cajoling to get him to indulge anyone in their fantasies, but he will, if the right pointers are given, and if doing so will help someone get out of their sadness.

One of his favorite activities is to explore the outdoors, whether it be hiking, camping, canoeing, etcetera. As mentioned before, he has a unique appreciation for something organically made, because there is something rather beautiful in the realm of strange frailties. Or, better yet, the impossible perfection that can be reached in something as simple as a snail’s shell. Sometimes he might pause, completely caught up in studying the movement of a bug or the swaying of a leaf in the wind, eyes glued to a single spot in space for however long it takes him to fully comprehend every little detail that he is seeing.

There isn’t really an issue in the bedroom, either, since his brain is basically connected to the internet at all times, any kind of position or move is easy enough for him to search up, comprehend, and then execute with near-flawless precision. That’s all I’m going to say on the subject.