#stuck in the middle au

[jlhynde-insanitybrilliance]

I have yet another Fic idea that’s been bouncing around in my funny lil noggin for months! Yay! I call it my Stuck in the Middle AU (working title).

 Premise: Master of Death Harry unsatisfied with the role forced on him in the afterlife, endeavors to recruit an disembodied soul from a Universe where the entirety of HARRY POTTER is nothing more than a fictional story for children to help him destroy the 3 Hallows before they could ever come into his hands. He finds such a soul through happenstance & makes a deal, to allow that soul to return to their life they just left if they help him destroy the Hallows to which they agree.

The catch: Because Harry’s only enjoyment in the afterlife is messing with one Tom Marvolo Riddle, the vessel he chooses to house this soul is none other than the recently deceased Myrtle Warren, killed by none other TMR himself.

This entire fic is told from the soul’s pov as they struggle with being stuck in the middle of the most bizarre form of purgatory.

Snippet #1:

Abraxas Malfoy (outta breath & rushing into the Slytherin common room): SHE’S ALIVE!!!

TMR: Who’s alive?

Abraxas: WARREN!

TMR: What?!

Snippet #2:

Albus Dumbledore: Do you remember what happened to you, Myrtle?

Not Myrtle: Who the fuck is Myrtle?

Prof. Dumbledore: You are.

Not Myrtle: No I’m—(pauses suddenly seeing MOD Harry shaking his head)—Where am I?

Prof. Dumbledore: Hogwarts.

Not Myrtle (laughing): Oh sure…What’s next you’re gonna tell me you’re Albus Dumbledore?

Prof. Dumbledore: …I am.

*MOD Harry face palming*

Snippet # 3:

Not Myrtle (to themself): This a post 2020 world, yeah this might as well just happen…

Snippet # 4:

Cygnus Black (talking about Myrtle): Word is she has amnesia. Doesn’t remember who or what attacked her.

Tom: Good. Let’s ensure we keep it that way.

Cygnus: Though I’ve heard she’s been a bit off.

Tom: How so?

Cygnus: She’s been talking to herself incoherently.

Tom: Incoherently?

Cygnus: Just what Hornby tells me. They think she’s made up her own language or something. Sounds like she’s gone mad. Even if she did remember, I doubt anyone would believe her.

Tom: Prof. Dumbledore would.

Snippet #5:

MOD Harry: You do realize, you’re the only one who can see me? Everyone else thinks you’ve gone mad babbling to yourself.

Not Myrtle: What?! And you only tell me this now?! I’ve been here for days!

MOD Harry: I thought it was obvious. Do you see anyone else addressing me? And I’ll also inform you that when you speak to me, you don’t speak in English…

Not Myrtle: Then what the hell am I speaking?!

MOD Harry: The language of the dead.

Not Myrtle: Is that why people keep looking at me like I’m crazy?!

MOD Harry: Oh definitely. Most of them think you’re possessed.

Not Myrtle: …isn’t that technically true?

MOD Harry: Sort of. You’re the possessor, not the possessee.

Snippet #6:

Not Myrtle (to MOD Harry): Look I didn’t ask to be put in the middle of whatever dick measuring contest you have going on with a teenage boy!

And I think that’s all the dialogue snippets I have for now. But if I think of more I’ll post ‘em.

[jlhynde-insanitybrilliance]

This sounds like a good prompt for MOD Harry! Also a cool idea to explore in my Stuck in the Middle AU. Like this sounds like a convo between Not Myrtle & MOD Harry.

Example:

Not Myrtle: So this flat has like 6 different poltergeists?

MOD Harry: Yeah. Why’d you think you rented it for so cheap?

Not Myrtle: Ok…should I move out or—

MOD Harry: Nah. They won’t bother you. They only like messing with the living.

Not Myrtle: Ok, we’ll if I’m gonna have 6 roommates they better chip in on chores or grocery money or something. I’m not cleaning up after all them if they make a mess in here.

Person A: “Don’t evil spirits usually harass the people who try to live in this place?”

Person B: “Usually, that’s why they let you have it so cheap… Why?”

Person A: “Because other than the night I first moved in, they haven’t so much as slammed a door… If anything, they’ve actually been helping me ever since. Hell, this morning they even did the dishes!”

[kamodofilez]

“The sun on her shoulders, wind in her hair…”

“…And suddenly Hades, was only a man,”

Was outlining what I had in mind for this AU, but I had this scene stuck in my head all day.

Bonus:

[septune13]

consider: pathetic businessman griffith

[lloydgaymerdyke]

transfem kai AND middle school gym class… maybe this is the most projecting i’ve ever done

don’t zoom in on my art like ever if you want to keep enjoying it….

[poliffwoog]

The guide fweheuhuieheueuhehehhehehiheh

[chillentertainer]

the people (me) want au fics of conclave characters a la the au fics of the terror. so get out your pens and laptops and start writing like ur life depends on it (please)

[okawarihappylife]

i am once again thinking abt the lost potential that is hypmic.

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Ravi and Albert's Guide to Fake Not-Dating

It would be so easy, and Ravi was not looking to get any more involved in the 118 A-shift nonsense than he already was. It was sort of an unspoken rule he’d made with himself. He always showed up to the off-duty events he was invited to, usually large parties or station-wide outings, but that was more than enough for him. Just hearing about the drama his coworkers dealt with was more exhausting than regularly running into burning buildings and he had no interest in deliberately adding himself to the inner circle of rom-com-level bullshit that seemed to curse a select few members of the 118. He wasn’t about to tempt fate by dating his coworker’s formerly-estranged younger brother.

So, knowing all of that, he really should say no.

Read it on AO3

~~*~~

Average Hanikkar shipper: Hey wouldn’t it be funny if Ravi, the guy who famously wants nothing to do with the A-shift’s bullshit, accidentally fell in love with Chim’s brother and is super mad about it? Haha such a funny crack ship and the actors are both hot, we are having a great time.

Me, dropping a 50k word fic in the Hanikkar tag with no warning: Hey so what if Albert was a person who was so terrified of failing at anything that mattered to him that he would rather quit than fight as hard as he could and discover it wasn’t enough and what if Ravi was a person who had spent his entire life fighting just for the right to be alive but he was so tired he didn’t have any fight left in him but then they meet and fall in love and learn what it means to have something worth fighting for because even if you do fail you know it was worth trying, it was worth the possibility, it was worth giving yourself the chance.

People who follow me for Newsies content: Saf what the fuck is this, where did it come from, and when are you gonna finish your mini-bang fic?

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

In Valinor the last of the mortal fellowship has just been buried.

After the funeral:

Glorfindel: where’s legolas?

Elrond: let him be, he is grieving.

Meanwhile:

Legolas, already sailing away from valinor: My dad always told me to never walk into a cage without a way out.

[jlhynde-insanitybrilliance]

Idk why, but I feel like MOD Harry in the Stuck in the Middle AU would have some weird fixation of living vicariously through Not Myrtle.

Example:

MOD Harry: You should eat something. Here—*slides over a plate if treacle tart*

Not Myrtle: Is that desert?

MOD Harry: It’s treacle tart.

Not Myrtle: …I don’t think I’ve ever had that.

MOD Harry: You’ve never had—Well, you poor soul... Eat.

Not Myrtle: …okay. *takes a bite*

MOD Harry: How is it?

Not Myrtle: It’s good.

MOD Harry: Just good? I thought you used to be a writer? Where’s that descriptive language?

Not Myrtle: What do you want a foodie’s review?

MOD Harry: Yes.

Not Myrtle: Ugh. I’m not fucking Gordon Ramsay. Is this like a fetish of yours or something?

MOD Harry: …I can’t remember.

Not Myrtle: You can’t remember if this is a fetish?

MOD Harry: I can’t remember what it tastes like—It used to be my favorite. But it’s been so long since I’ve been able to eat anything that I can’t remember what anything tastes like.

Not Myrtle: …oh. Well, now you just made me sad…

MOD Harry: Didn’t mean to.

[iamthepulta]

every time I write a scene in Sskies London with characters cooking/eating, my brain is screaming 'cooking at a personal stove is a luxury and unconventional modern adaptation' and I'm going fucking nuts about it.

[stubbornlightoflife]

god I missed this brush.

[bugsnaxed]

Drew bugswap Gramble because I just think he’s neat :3

Au belongs to @/snorpdawg ^^

[weirdlyeldritch]

"dance, dance, puppet boy!"

cw: body horror and a bit of suicidal imagery

i havent shared puppet boy (4) and vcr toy (maryo) on here and i need to fix that because i love them <3

their boss is also here i guess :T

[crumbleclub]

for your family business au: i think you said at one point that William uses remnant to stop the kids from aging, so they'll always be at ages where he can easily manipulate them? logically speaking i know it probably works where William has to keep injecting them with remnant to keep them young, so they would probably start aging as normal again once/if William dies, but it would be so funny if they were stuck as kids for the rest of their lives. for mike especially. imagine being 12-14 for the rest of your life, could not be me 😬

Oh yea no, they're actually stuck. I set it up that way for a few reasons:

1. William's experimentation on his kids was way more reckless than his self-experimentation. He tried to keep them alive, loyal, and somewhat functional, but, beyond that, he didn't account much for their wellbeing at all. The idea that they might have a problem with this not only didn't bother him— it didn't even occur to him.

2. I thought it would be interesting to parallel the ghost kids from canon and various AUs. They don't die, but they don't get to grow up, either.

3. I thought that William actually having some success in capping his children's independence would make a compelling trauma metaphor. The Afton kids can keep learning new things and bettering themselves and becoming more independent than they were, but their brains never get the chance to fully develop. They can go on to live happy lives, but they'll never be what they would have been without William doing this to them. Since trauma can physically damage the brain's development, which sometimes manifests as an apparent "freezing" of certain traits or skills, I figured I could just make it literal here, kind of like in Fox and Kit.

4. Them remaining kids adds a continued conflict after William's death: they can take care of their own basic needs– William sure as hell wasn't doing it for them– but should they be? It's an interesting thing to consider, because I don't think they'd end up killing Will until at least the nineties. Michael has been alive for, what, twenty-something years? He has that much life experience, but he has the impulse control of a 14 year old, the emotional intelligence of a 14 year old, and everything else that isn't just a learned skill of a 14 year old. This becomes even more drastic when looking at the younger two siblings: 10 and 7 or 8 (undecided on Evan still lmao)? That's a big gap in the functional ability of a brain.

5. In that case, who takes care of them? Henry? What about after he dies? Would they want that? Do they even have any other options?