#struggles of living in a religious family 😭

[ethereal-night-fairy]

I need to find myself an ace wife so I can just cuddle her and talk about my fictional crushes and the stupid smut I read and write.

[epiicaricacy-arts]

victim of your fathers plan to rule the world

thinking about the similarities between the penacony dream pool and baptisms …

process discussion + scrapped version utc

i kinda talk about my own religious experiences in the discussion but i keep it pretty brief. i’ve marked where it starts and ends as well in case people wanna avoid it

im trying to get back to my usual painting style after doing a lot of experimenting for so long. i took some inspiration from Yuming Li for this illustration, because they do a lot of angel illustrations with these very pretty light purple + yellow colour schemes.

Ok i’ve been thinking about this concept for a while (like ever since i finished penacony probably..) baptisms are considered an entry way or the door to church membership and a welcoming into gods world, similarly to how penacony’s dreampool was the doorway to ena’s dream.

(religion discussion starts!!)

baptism rituals are performed with water, whether it’s pouring water over someone’s head (usually for babies/small children) or dipping someone into a body of water. i thought about how sunday was manipulated into following the order, and so i wanted to draw him being pushed into the dream pool by gopher wood.

as a kid i always felt like religion was forced onto me. even with how me and my family live now, we don’t practice or actively participate in the religion, even sometimes going as far as saying we’re basically atheist. but despite that i’m always told i’m catholic and that i should be practicing more. we volunteer for catholic organizations and my parents get people to give me blessings when i am struggling.

i wanted to draw from my own experiences with this drawing so it’s a little more personal than my other works. although i’ve never experienced catholicism on that deep of a level i still feel like it’s been significant to my life and i find comfort in adding some of my personal feelings into my art like this.

(religion discussion over!!)

i had a really hard time with this drawing cause originally i wanted to try an illustration with lineart

but i spent several hours just fucking with colours trying to find a way to render it and i physically could not comprehend how to do it like how i was imagining so i just started painting again 😭

originally it was a lot bluer lmao (and fit more with the song blue by billie eilish i was quoting in the caption) but i really wanted the painting to have some purple like the dream bubbles in penacony!!

this painting took me like over 20 hours 😭 that doesn’t include the other times i’ve attempted to illustrate this concept which have long been scrapped despite getting pretty far into the draft stages. i just knew i wanted to be completely satisfied with this drawing since it does have some personal connection to me.

discussion over!! thank you for reading :]

[beanieman]

Do you have any personal headcanons of Keiji?? I'm just curious 😭

All of the participants live rent free in my mind!

A: Keiji still does investigation work, just not for the police. He'll volunteer help to whoever seems to need it if he believes the cops aren't handling a case correctly because of their corruption. He has a knack for discovering what's covered, and has solved plenty of cases. Though he doesn't go after suspects anymore as his trauma prevents it. He tells whoever needs to hear it what happened and then moves on. His goal is to give closure, not justice.

B: He takes issue with being in other people's debt because debt collectors were around his house quite a bit as a kid. His family struggled financially and seeing them always added extra stress on his Mother. She always told him to do anything he could to stay out of debt, so he didn't need to face the stress she endured. This lesson is one he holds dear and tries to follow. For better or worse.

C: He has a stubble beard. I know this is contradicted by his design, but I feel it in my soul.

D: He has a betta fish at home. He wouldn't mind a dog and/or cat someday, but he'd like to get himself more together first.

E: Keiji loves nature. He find's a lot of peace just standing on his porch and watching the sun set.

More Undercut

F: Keiji's Mother heavily discouraged him from being on the police force. She worried about his safety and knew her son sometimes acted impulsively. He disregarded her fears at the time, but he's far more willing to take her advice these days.

G: He has religious trauma. Hence his "I need to live with my sins" mentality.

H: He read's a lot in his spare time. He tends to be drawn to the mystery genre and short stories.

I: Keiji fought a lot with his bullies. Eventually he started putting his anger toward them into a workout routine and ended gaining quite a bit of muscle before joining the police.

J: Much like when he was a child, Keiji still isn't well off financially. This is because anytime he gets his hands on some money, he sends it to his Mom. He's a big Momma's boy.

[daphnebowen]

omg you watched journey to bethlehem too?? what'd you think of it??

(also just realized your ask button thingy is a reference to nini's voicemail greeting)

I really really liked the movie! as a Christian i was lowkey kind of worried there would be some stuff that went against my church's doctrine, or be stuff I didn't know anything about, plus the premise of it being a musical... but it had Milo Manheim in it, and i am always and forever going to be in love with him, so that's originally why i watched it mostly for Milo (me and a couple of my friends are die hards for him for absolutely no reason, so we watched it literally the day it arrived on Netflix together). it was everything I could have ever needed and more! i did not expect Antonio banderas to be in there, lol, it kinda surprised me (and who knew he could sing?) when i tell you the first time that i watched this movie i watched it purely for Milo... i was literally kicking my feet anytime he opened his mouth 😭 but the second and third rewatch i was able to actually enjoy the whole story of Mary and Joseph. Because it really is such a powerful story! and I really didn't think about a ton of aspects of Mary and Joseph before Jesus was born. I didn't think about their home lives, or the struggle Mary went through when she had this vision of an angel, telling her she was going to give birth to the literal son of god! like, would i believe her at first either?? probably not! But this movie actually did a really good job at making you fall in love with the characters, even king Herod and his son. plus, can we talk about the music? I really liked it. I like how i could sing most of the more well known church songs (at least, well known for my church) but then they also had songs like "ultimate deception" and "mother to a savior and king" that made my heart fall out of my chest. I never before thought of the different perspectives of how nerve wracking it must be to know that you are going to give birth to the son of god but it's so hard to believe. so i just really liked that the movie used the songs to give us that perspective, as well as herod's son's song, that was an interesting one 😭 so yeah loved the songs, 10/10, Joseph and Mary's chemistry had me crying and wishing for love like that 😭😭😭 and can we talk about how CUTE baby Jesus was?? Like omg that is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen 😍 he got the good genes!

all jokes aside, I really did like this movie. I wouldn't necessarily watch it with a certain sort of Christian mindset of like THIS ISNT THE STORY OF JESUS AND THIS ISNT EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AND THEY FORGOT THIS AND blah blah blah. it's a fun, family friendly, goofy musical movie with lots of good morals and really loveable characters that if you are religious you probably already know. it definitely added another layer to the birth of baby Jesus and that story for me, so hopefully it will for anyone else who watches it as well! The cast portray the characters so perfectly, it's very well cast, it was SO funny for no reason, and honestly quite sad at some parts but obviously you know how it ends. doing a tribute to the greatest story ever told is quite high stakes and you can tell that everyone - the writers, the directors, the cast, even the animals lol - poured their heart and soul into making this film. so yes, 10/10 I would recommend, even if you aren't religious and just looking for a fun movie with goofy catchy songs and great characters. I absolutely loved it! Let me know what you think @imjustavenuxwithaboomerang!

(and yes, I had to steal nini's voicemail greeting. the opportunity was there and I don't know what Ricky's or Gina's is so I couldn't do theirs lol. plus it's so cute! and so nini! 🥰)

[ficklecat]

AW HELL YEAH OC THIRSTY THURSDAYS ARE BACK

8, 18, 25 FOR THE EPIPHYTES BAYBEEEEE

25 freebie: what would they do if they encountered a ghost? 👻👻

HAHAHA I so appreciate the hype 😭😭😭 (and that last one 😜)

8. What do you think had the biggest impact on you growing up?

Violet: “Definitely my parents’ divorce. Always stuck in the middle, watching my mom try to push her regrets away and force a do-over onto me, my dad always trying to play the good guy…it sucked. It made me feel and believe a lot of things that weren’t true - about love, about myself - and I really had to figure it out on my own. I love my parents, but I wish they didn’t imprint their struggles onto me. I’m just grateful I can recognize it now and overcome it. Having better people in my life really helps that.”

Manny: “I would say it is a combination of things but a big impact was my father being here without my mother. Growing up without a mother present, but knowing she is still living and still loving you from so far away is so strange and at times very hard. My papa obviously had a difficult time but he never considered himself a ‘single father’ in the sense that he did not have the support of a wife. He taught me to be hopeful and optimistic and to carry love in my heart no matter how heavy it is because of that. My mama has been trying to come back to this country with my brother for a very long time now, we try not to give up on this hope but it is difficult. I miss her, but I do not know her very well, I was so young when she was made to leave. As a child it is tough to understand that absence, you can get jealous of other children and families. But I am glad she’s still on this earth, and we can call and write and still have a relationship even though she is so far away.”

Finn: “My trauma.”

18. What’s the best way to cheer you up?

Violet: “Honestly just spend time with me. Hugs or cuddles, watch a movie, give me my favorite snacks. I want to be babied a bit when I’m upset, I’ll admit it. But I mean it works, you know? How can I be sad or upset when I’m cuddled up in blankets and someone I love is feeding me snacks or holding me or giving me kisses? Even at my worst, it helps so much to feel cherished like that.”

Manny: “Making me laugh or taking me outside never fails! Sometimes when I am down it’s hard for me to find laughter but I have to let myself do it, and Violet is especially good at this for me. She will always know what to do or say to get a good chuckle from me, like showing me funny TikTok videos or recalling fun times. I find great comfort in that!”

Finn: “Repeated reassurance from people I love. When things are hard I need to be told everything is ok, or that I’m safe or that no one is going to hurt me or leave me. Sometimes it seems like it doesn’t work because I don’t necessarily ‘cheer up,’ I’m not a particularly cheerful guy to begin with, but it alleviates the pain. It’s a tedious thing, I know, but I need it to feel right again. I can logically get there myself, but it’s much more difficult without reinforcement from my loved ones.”

25: what would they do if they encountered a ghost?

Violet: “I totally believe in ghosts, so I’d probably have a TON of questions. If it’s like an evil ghost or something I’d probably try not to give it my name or acknowledge it so it doesn’t get power or whatever. But if it’s just a regular ghost I’d absolutely try to ask it about the afterlife and death and what it’s capable of and all that. I’d be so fascinated. Scared a little of course but like, it’s a ghost.”

Manny: “I think I would have a difficult time understanding what I was seeing. I am unsure about whether I believe in ghosts and spirits and all of that, and growing up in a Christian household I think it would challenge my understanding of the world. I am not particularly religious, but it would have me wondering. Maybe I would go to church again if I was scared enough for my eternal soul!”

Finn: “I don’t believe in ghosts. So I’d probably try to first determine if it was real. But aside from that…I’m not sure. I think I wouldn’t want to know too much. Death is comforting to me, and ghosts are essentially - in some form - an antithesis to that. I think I’d probably be more frightened to know that they exist more than of the ghost itself.”

[susansontag]

idk im sorry if this comes off as weird but i find it really cool that youre still interested in studying religion despite being atheistic and recognizing misogyny within organized religion, i have a complex-ish relationship with organized religion b/c i am a practicing jew (very liberal sect) but there are elements of judaism/the torah that i have struggled with as a feminist or even a woman really, although i still find theology very fascinating to study. i dont know your exact relationship or history w religion but its nice to see someone else whos kind of in the same boat 😭

hey! I think religious texts are very interesting to study as a feminist and I hope to engage with feminist criticism and analyses of these as I make my way through them (a pretty ambitious project, the two I'm most interested in rn are the bible and qur'an). they're also frankly fascinating from an anthropological perspective and still very key to understanding many societies in general. I think a lot of feminists can (perhaps?) have quite knee-jerk reactions to religion, which is understandable, but they are fairly integral still to understanding women's position in loads of places. that and from an anti-imperialist perspective I think it's important to know how religion impacts women's lives and their relationship to it, both the positive and the negative. religion is still important to a lot of women's lives and I think secular feminists can sometimes dismiss that along with other global relations that give religion multiple meanings and significances for many

I am very like. atheist in my approach though, in the sense that I see religious texts as interesting historical documents that a lot can be learnt from but not as any kind of divine truth. I went to a catholic school for a while when I was young but my immediate family is simply not that religious. I'm also interested in how certain traditions developed out of others, e.g. great flood myth in abrahamic traditions being very similar to stories of floods in mesopotamian traditions... it's all very interesting to me as someone interested in marxism and feminism

I think questioning traditions or ideas you've been raised with is normal and healthy behaviour, as is having trouble reconciling them. I'm sure many other women have similar thoughts. good luck with everything and thank you for the thoughtful ask (-: <3

[legacygirlingreen]

17, 23 and 28 please ♡

Of course love💚

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes

That can vary a tad depending on season and phase of my life a tad… I used to be a religious chuck taylor high tops girl (classic black high tops) but over time having a partner who works at vans and skateboarding a lot to get around in college I slowly shifted into being a vans girl. My most worn pair of shoes (I actively have 3 in various stages of worn/nice depending on where I’m going) are the black slip-on perf leather. I wear them just walking around, I have a worn pair when I wanna skate or am going somewhere they will get dirty and I have a pair I only wear when I want to look nice or teaching. I swear they are the most comfortable pair of shoes ever and look immaculate.

23. strange habits?

Not sure how “strange” this may be but I am oddly organized in some areas of my life and extremely messy in others. Like my car, absolutely trashed. My bedroom can also get cluttered with the amount of books and random scraps of paper but overall is pretty clean. My office is cluttered with work and decorations but is very well organized. I have color coded systems of schedules, files, etc. My creative spaces tend to get messy however my actual storage of supplies ✨ pristine ✨ I have a label maker and it’s all separated by type of supply, color, etc. Any file on my computer, immaculately organized. I truly have no rhyme or reason why some things get the massive over organization and proper storage and others look like a disaster zone. I have my records for my record player all mixed together but my books are alphabetical. I have perfectly wrapped cables for my cameras and guitars but my closet is a mess. My partner finds it strange why some things are overly organized and others are a perfect mess. And why there’s no in between either 🤷‍♀️

28. five songs to describe you?

“Seven seas of rhye” by queen

This one my best friend and roommate from college SWEARS fits me in both the chaotic energy and the line about destroying men who abuse trust… so 😅

“I’m Shipping up to Boston” by dropkick Murphy’s

This one is very nostalgic… when my family immigrated to the US from Ireland, the Boston area is where they settled. My mom used to take us back so often to visit family. Growing up going to Red Sox and bruins games this was such a big part of my childhood so this song has a special place in my heart. Especially since so many people know me for my connection to Boston sports.

“Always” by Panic at the Disco

I have a lot of self destructive tendencies and my number one always seems to be trying to take care of others first. this song I have always felt fits so much of who I am at my core. Growing up I felt very alone, isolated and responsible for so much. This song just hits so many notes for me.

“Carolina” Taylor swift

Honestly there’s so much of Taylor’s discography that could fit who i am… but ever since she dropped the Carolina single… so much of my life has been spent living in North Carolina (setting for the book the song is based on) and this just hits such a special place in my soul. Living in the backroads of Carolina this just… is so similar to waking up in that misty morning air.

“She’s like the wind” Patrick Swayze

I asked my partner since I was struggling with this a tad… he swears this song really captures how he felt when we were first falling into love instead of being just friends. I showed him dirty dancing for the first time and.. idk he stands by most of this song being a very good depiction of me 😭 perhaps it’s leading to my independent nature… I don’t take compliments well so 😅

[elgaravel]

10, 18, 26, 33, 39 for gray & dante and 11, 13, 36, 42 for el & akira 👀

tysm rena <3 they are all my silly rabbits from this ship ask

gray & dante:

10. Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

They both drive but Dante does more often. Cooking is often a joint effort so they don't burn down the kitchen <3 they rarely make anything edible but they usually eat it anyway. Gray cleans more often. Gray helps Dante with his bills since they're in the shop so often (they don't officially live there) so ig both of them? Dante's a little better with people than Gray is so he handles the public.

18. What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Dates are often low-budget and intimate. Earlier in their relationship when they were still getting to know each other, a lot of it involved sharing little things about each other like just playing records for each other or chatting while taking a walk somewhere. They like to go to Fredi's or some other restaurants/bars on the cheaper side and eat there. I also like the idea of them having a lil picnic in gray's apartment 😭. I imagine they also like to drag him to plant nurseries jdfsklf. They dated for a few months before they were official since they knew each other for a while before that. Idk if this counts as taking a break from each other but they're apart fairly often when one of them has to go out on a job, it's a nice opportunity for some alone time ig. There's also Dante leaving at the end of dmc5 but that was not done with the intention of taking a break jdflfsdf

26. How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Gray's family is incredibly deceased but Miko and Blake would have really liked Dante </3. I haven't fleshed out their bio parents and siblings much yet. As for Dante's, in canon, Gray isn't particularly close with Nero or Vergil. They like Nero a lot but they just don't really interact much. I don't see Nero having a strong opinion on them tbh? I could be wrong idk. They're not the biggest fan of Vergil but they're civil. I think Vergil has mixed feelings but is happy that Dante has someone who makes him happy.

As for friends fjkdsl there's so many (5 at most). Eden spends by far the most amount of time with them and is really happy for them <3. Dmitri doesn't care much about Dante but is happy for Gray (after he got over his initial jealousy anyway fdjslf). Patty was probably the most suspicious of Gray but ended up really liking them! I think Lady and Trish are probably happy for them (mainly Dante) as well.

33. What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

I struggle a little with what Dante would get them but it'd probably be little things that remind him of them (usually botany/plant related) but maybe just like. a cool rock he found or something too FJKDSL idk. Gray's not too much of a gift-giver but sometimes they'll come home with some beer/whiskey and also a cool rock they found. They also give him a little strawberry bush that he keeps on his desk and they keep it alive year round with their powers :^).

39. Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?

So they started out as more of a friends with benefits situation which was I'm thinking initiated by Dante and he kissed them first. Gray was the one to initiate an actual relationship after a while and a lot of mutual pining and hesitation on both ends. But I don't think it really took either of them that long to realize their feelings, acting on them was the problem fjdsklf.

el & akira:

11. Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

Yeah, they do! They don't celebrate holidays for religious reasons since they're both agnostic so it's mostly just for fun but they celebrate most of the major holidays (halloween, christmas, etc). I think anniversaries probably mean more to them though. They mainly like to recreate their first date (going to the carnival and then getting dinner and watching the sunset) and they get each other gifts as well.

13. What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

They're both pretty adventurous and prefer to switch things up. Akira does like to take her on motorcycle rides a lot though. El tattooing him counts as a date in their minds, they like to go to festivals/concerts (nina's performances specifically 👀), exploring new spots in the city, etc etc. They also enjoy just staying in as well from time to time.

36. What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

They balance each other out in a lot of aspects but clash in almost just as many. But they're ultimately very committed to building a life with each other and trust each other, and are (for the most part) honest and open with each other. As for weaknesses, Akira has a bit of a jealousy/possessiveness issue though it was mainly an issue at the beginning of their relationship. He's working on it !! he has not had many constants in his life. He is also very passive and non-confrontational when it comes to close relationships. El often has a hard time empathizing with him and seeing things from his perspective, and also has a hard time admitting when she's wrong. They also clash in the financial aspect mainly on how and how much they're spending their money.

42. Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Akira does, El does not fjdsklf. As said above, Akira is pretty passive and willing to overlook (or ignore rather) a lot of things when it comes to her and El has no issue gently calling him out on something that bothers her.

[darry-rules]

Hi dear donors ! ❤️

I would like to extend my thank and gratitude for the support you have been offering over the last eleven months. ❤️☺️

My family and I have been suffering and going through the hardest days we have ever experienced in our life . Things are very hard to get and and sometimes unattainable.😭😓

Our sufferings and hardship started on the first day of the war when all our possessions were completely destroyed and burned. We have become displaced and homeless , finding ourselves in a small tent in streets with no means of life. We lack every single necessary thing of life; food, water, hygiene essentials, and other necessities have become scarce and rare.

Our life has been tough and harsh all the last time. No cooking gas , nor cooking tools exist . We struggle to prepare a small meal of food.

No bakeries are available. Everything seems hard and unbelievable.😭

This is a part of burying the dead. We also face some problems in the process of buying our dead people as no place is there for the family. Tombs aren't for the number of people living on a small spot of land.

All what we need is to survive the war and be safe. We are trying to secure the daily basic living necessities and this can come true with your contribution and support. Please don't spare this moment of supporting the people in need in Gaza in this tough and dire time. You can help us by either donating however small it is or sharing my posts. Your support makes a big difference for families in need.https://gofund.me/7e428359

Please let’s go help these people. They need all the help they can get. And if you are religious then keep them in your prayers please.

[hello-rosy-essence]

Hijab

So, apparently today is world’s hijab day.

My relationship with hijab is… somewhat complicated.

I used to wear hijab on and off.

When I used to be a hijabi, I really liked how hijab helped me shift my focus from physical appearances towards my inner character. It really made me feel confident about who I’m as a person.

I ended up taking it off because it’s been hard. My family doesn’t support wearing it except one of my siblings.

Unlike other hijabis who’re on the pretty end, I’ve always been abit ugly. I wear glasses and I’m chubby. Wearing hijab somehow brought attention to my round face since I couldn’t hide my round face with bangs. Or my body. I decided to just take it off so I can focus on my mental health. I am also scared of Islamophobic attacks and discrimination since I work in a public setting. I don’t feel safe being visibly Muslim in a public space.

I ended up taking it off and hiding myself from Muslims around me. I mean, what’s the point in being close with them anyways? They would spread useless gossip about me. What’s the point in me bringing myself down? When all I’ll see is Muslim males choosing to compliment or treat females better who are fair and skinny. And they’ll find ways to bully me since I’m not their type. Eventually, you want to hide from your own community cause they hate you. You get tired of this cycle and hope one day, it ends.

I do miss wearing hijab sometimes, but it’s nice to live like a normal person. Where Muslim males don’t always make comments on how you could dress better or Muslim females don’t gossip about you. It feels nice to be invisible and live your life the way you want. I guess…

I have always been inspired by the following hijabi influencers: Leena, Batul, Samia, and Sali.

Who knows what the future holds? Perhaps I’ll wear it again, maybe never. I do like wearing it occasionally though on religious events and so on. I’m just used to it sometimes~

My favourite store to buy hijabs is ilovemodesty. It’s the first store I bought my hijabs from when I first started wearing it. It was a cool experience saving up $$ for my first hijab experience hehe

My hijabi style is mostly shimmery hijabs and neutrals depending on the occasion. I really like brown, black, and blue hijabs. I also love floral hijabs. My usual pairings are:

black dress + floral hijab (link)

black patterned dress + black hijab (link)

black dress + brown hijab (link)

I live my life in black dresses and black on a whole 😭 I can’t imagine not wearing black one day lol

Anyways, it felt good to write out how I feel about this topic.

Like I said, I just have a complicated relationship with hijab. Hopefully one day, it’ll get better. If not, that’s completely fine too. We all try to improve and struggle in life. I’m not particularly sure how it’ll progress later in life.

I hope it’s just not used a tool to manipulate me in the future. I do want to wear it only for the sake of GOD. Let’s see ~

[btssavedmylifeblr]

This is not related to bts or your work but I just want advice.

I feel so lonely and lost in life. I’ve no real friends, just people I know that just tolerate me. With no clear goals or ambitions. I feel a total disappointment because I’m doing nothing with my life and I see all my friends and relatives achieving their goals and aspirations.

This is stupid but I never had a dream. Since I was little I just wanted to be happy, have a lot of friends and enjoy a simple life but when I tell people this is maybe my dream since I don’t have a bigger and a socially acceptable one, they laugh and think it’s stupid to have such shallow view of life. Am I shallow? Maybe I’m.

My cousins told me since I’m already 29, never had a bf or even dated and are not the most beautiful among them... just to go for arranged marriage, they feel like someone like me doesn’t have a chance of having a romantic love story. Tbh I’m contemplating it since arrange marriage sounds realistic in my case but I’m afraid my lack of experience with men will cloud my decisions and I’ll maybe end up with an abusive or a crazy partner. I’m so scared.

Also my family are traditional so they feel I need to hurry up and marry since I’m almost 30 and it will be hard for me to give birth once I’m older than that. I don’t mind not giving birth, and I’d love to adopt but I know they won’t be happy about that.

To you and your readers I’ll sound a dumb 29 yr old but I lived a very sheltered, conservative and religious life and the most simple things for everyone has been the hardest for me. From my views, to my clothing, decision making, critical thinking, having a say in my own affairs... all of these privileges weren’t always allowed for me. But I’m really trying.

Listening to BTS have helped me a lot through the years when I was on my worst. I’ve meet nice ARMYS online but I’ve no one to share my interests with irl. I wish I had army friends in real life too, I get so jealous when I see how a lot of them have met and managed to build real friendships. I never had that.

Anyways I’m lost and Idk what I wanted to ask but I just want to hear your opinion since you’re married. Should I take the same of arrange marriage? Is married life worth it? I’m so scared 😭

I have many thoughts!

1. Whether or not marriage is worth it depends very much on who you are married to and how you feel about them. A supportive, kind and respectful partner who shares your values and goals can make your entire life better. Having someone to share life's burdens with and create something together can be incredibly lovely. My life is much better married than not and that's why I choose to stay married. But a bad marriage can be much worse than just staying single.

2. I don't know what cultural context you are coming from, so I don't know exactly how an arranged marriage would work for you. I know people whose families have set them up with each other and they are very happy now. I don't think an arranged marriage is necessarily incompatible with a romantic love story. Having a partner that shares a background with you and has compatible family values and goals can be a blessing. But obviously families don't always have your best interests at heart and people do end up in abusive relationships, especially if the woman comes into the marriage with a power disparity, like she's now entirely financially dependent on her husband or in a foreign country where she doesn't speak the language.

3. I don't think you sound dumb or shallow. It's perfectly fine to just want a simple life. You deserve a life of peace, happiness, and respect.

4. 29 is not old. Give yourself permission to just explore what you want and need without feeling a ticking clock over your head.

I'll leave you with a quote from the wise Min Yoongi:

We can’t give our dreams too much meaning. Dreams are just dreams. When I say it’s okay to not have a dream, it’s because you don’t really need one. You shouldn’t have to struggle so much in order to live your life. It’s heartbreaking to see people being pushed to pursue one path when there are 7.8 billion people in the world, living out 7.8 billion different lives. People in their 60s and 70s can dream too, of course, but I often think that the world is especially cruel to the young. It’s often suggested that they’ve failed if they don’t start out on a particular path or continue along as expected. But as you live, you realise life doesn’t work that way. It would be good if children and youth didn’t blame themselves too much, because it’s not their fault.

And don’t compare yourself to other people either. There is absolutely no need for you to compare the size of your dream to someone else’s dream. You’d think I live with super grandiose dreams, but I’m not like that at all. I don’t have a dream right now either. Does that make me miserable? No, it doesn’t. Rather, I’m at peace. I’m sure another dream will come to me. My dream could be to become better at basketball, for example. I believe it’s a good, worthwhile life to achieve dreams like this, one by one.

Sending you love and encouragement! 💜

[adelidae]

Hii for the oc this what abt past 11 and present 11. Unfortunately i dont know ur ocs but id like to hear abt one :)

Also heres a bear

HI!! thank u for the bear im in love.....here have some monkeys in return!! 💖

questions/answers under the cut! they got a bit long 😭

(11) PAST—Were there any events in their childhood that led to phobias or other fears?

HMMM this is a tricky one because i haven't thought that much about it before......ok there's definitely anya aka anastasia dragomira (if you've seen me talking about veronika/ronnie then anya is her older sister)

she's basically the crown princess of the kingdom she lives in and that's mainly because she has a powerful affinity for pyrokinesis (fire magic is hereditary and has a huge religious significance), while veronika has no abilities and their brother gustav has air magic from their father's side of the family.

anya has always been the centre of attention since she was a young child and that attention has always been tied to her station and power, so the older she got the more paranoid she became about Losing that attention. basically without her fire and prospective crown she felt everyone would leave her and no longer need her, and she'd do anything to avoid that happening

ronnie and gustav are closest to her until she meets the father of her son (i still can't decide on a name for him) but she feels very isolated in part due to her 'chosen one' mentality and the way she has to feel like she's better/smarter/stronger than everyone else as validation....her mother didn't really discourage it either since she was more concerned with preserving the integrity of the royal bloodline and the pyrokinesis that comes with it, so as long as anya was Physically normal she would consider her to be fine

so yeah i'd def say anya has a fear of being left behind and forgotten which is kind of interesting considering she treats a lot of other people dismissively (like ronnie and even her partner), but it stems a lot from her responsibilities as a kid and her craving for attention from other people (her relationship with her mother is pretty complicated, katerina means well but is not a good parent) honestly along that same vein i'd say veronika probably has some kind of anxiety about not following her duty and failing expectations but that's a wholeeeee other essay

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(11) PRESENT—What’s a typical night’s sleep like for them?

for this one i'm thinking about nik (nikolaj voronin) tbh.....he was raised the son of veronika and her husband ilya, later the king, but his father was actually another man (anton romanovski, her previous fiance. it's complicated)

i feel like he's a rather light sleeper as it is, and as a kid he had really bad social anxiety coupled with somehow being unable to get along with anyone else his age....he was bullied quite a bit which left him rather isolated as well. his best friend as a kid was his sister zhanna (younger by 4 years) who had a stormy temper despite her stature and essentially appointed herself nik's protector despite his protests

with that in mind i don't think he sleeps particularly well most nights. he has unsettling dreams and is rather restless, waking easily when it's cold or he's alone. when awake he carries himself with a bit of a slouch and he has dark circles under his eyes most of the time which contributes a lot to his permanently tired demeanor....something i feel that zhanna in particular snaps at people for mentioning especially if she feels it was said as an insult

there was a period of time when they were younger in which zhanna would sneak into his room at night and get into his bed with the excuse of feeling lonely just because she knew he didn't sleep well and it upset her to see him unwell and struggling to get through the day......they both knew she would probably get in trouble for it but nik always felt better and safer with her around. they're each other's closest confidants even in the present day of canon, and zhanna is still fiercely protective of him—some might even say overprotective...

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SO YEAH . that's a bit more about my ocs i love talking about them sm so thank u thank u thank u for sending this in <3 if u ever have any questions feel free 2 ask!! i promise im super happy to ramble on about them all day long

[yourmoonmomma]

why is my grandma controlling? will she stop if my therapist talks to her? is my mom like my grandma? why is my dad sort of invasive (he's a scorpio lmfao)? why does he act like that 😭? will my family ever accept me not being very religious and me being gay? (not necessarily right now, at any point in time). or will i end up distant from them (with the exception of my sister) in the future? when will i get to move out of this country and live somewhere more accepting? im 17 for reference

Three of Wands reversed - She may have had it drilled into her that being controlling or overbearing is the "best" way to show that she cares. She worries anything else would be neglectful.

No, yes.

King of Coins reversed - He wants to make sure you're not acting foolishly or that you are making good choices for your future.

Ten of Coins reversed - It comes from his own past of maybe struggling financially or career wise, so he wants to make sure you learn from his mistakes.

No, yes, 25-30.

Good luck my love!!