#stress induced paranoia
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ask-steven-stevenson ¡ 30 days ago
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“Something about borderline personality whatever. But, from what I’ve read! It’s seemingly common. No..? Most of the things are very simple things.”
YOUR SON FLOPS ON YOU.
hiiiiii dad...... i left you alone for a day and i missed you so its time to bother you again.
//@the-flys-buzz (william is. incredibly clingy to his awesome dad💔💔💔💔)
“..h. Hello.!! How are you, kid.?”
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ultra-raging-ghost ¡ 5 months ago
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paranoia time tonight hellooooo
currently chilling alone in my house with my little brother at night, and I'm in the kitchen and there's a lot of windows and some of the blinds are like fucked up bc of the dogs so there's gaps in them and I keep almost seeing things in the corner of my eye, and I can hear the crickets outside, and I've checked that the windows are locked like 7 times but my brains like mmmm ok but what if they aren't?
and then my brains like hey btw, if someone shatters your front door (it has a huge window in it that I HATE.) and breaks in, you could leave through the garage, out the garage door to the back yard and run around and escape via the fence in the back yard but then your little brother would be alone in the house and you wouldn't be able to get a hold of him. Maybe u should go tell him that if he hears someone breaking in he needs to be prepared to go out his window and meet you in the driveway??
but then to do that, I'd have to cross in front of the front door which I hate bc of the giant window, and also he's asleep and there's no point in waking him up for your stupid paranoia horror fantasies. and oughhhhhh I'm so normal!!!! guys I'm so normal!!!!
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xannerz ¡ 11 months ago
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i should have taken a sick day yday i got no work done lmao
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corset ¡ 2 years ago
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Got so close to doing unspeakable things to one of my “that old man”s in my dream before I fucking woke up. I think my brain should explode for betraying me; at least that way my misery would end when it took me with it.
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betweenheroesandvillains ¡ 1 year ago
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don't read i just need to put this somewhere
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scoutbot ¡ 11 months ago
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my brain: there are extra rules for interacting with other systems alters
me: ok, what are they?
my brain: there are extra rules for interacting with other systems alters :)
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the-acid-pear ¡ 2 years ago
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The problem w my hallucinations is that they are honestly few and far between but not only that but all the other funny girlboy symptoms as a whole make for a liveable but abnormal experience like. No i don't want to be given antipsychotics again because I'm never taking that shit again but also it's kind of annoying anyway?
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rainrot4me ¡ 4 months ago
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Take It
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Summary: Nightmarish visions drive you to seek out their sender, constant paranoia driving you mad. But when you find out he intends to make you work for him, he realizes you can’t be broken like the others. So he must take a more… intensive approach.
Characters: Slenderman x Male Reader
SMUT WARNING MINORS DNI
TW: Mental torture, hallucinations, phantom touch, description of organs and blood, tentacles, eating out, overstimulation, mind-breaking, forced submission, dub-con, painful pleasure, masochism, gagging, choking, blood, tentacles, anal, stomach bulge, tearing, size-difference, suffocation, forcing, clawing, manipulation, kinda stockholm syndrome at the end
Words: 6.5k
A/N: This was my first time writing for a male pov! I hope it wasn’t too unrealistic lolol
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It had been nonstop for weeks.
Visions. These crazy, nightmare-induced images continuously haunted your thoughts and dreams, leaving you nauseous every time you closed your eyes. Seeing dead family members, imagining noises and people that weren’t there, even feeling physical pain with no explanation. Sleep was nonexistent at this point, brain on high alert and checking every corner of every dark room you entered. You had no idea what was setting them off, sleep medications doing absolutely nothing for your new insomnia that kept you up into the late hours of the morning until you watched the sunrise. Quitting your job came next. Unable to stay awake and alert through a shift caused you a bad reputation, paranoia driving you to leave after imagining seeing a dead body in the garbage can. 
No matter what you tried: medicine, sleep, meditation, nothing calmed the pounding in your head. However, one thing was constant, a recurring entity that seemed to be the center of every hallucination—this grotesquely long-limbed figure with stark white skin. He was giant, towering over you and making you feel so tiny and weak, thriving from the fear it gave you. But the worst part of it, despite his rather nice suit and tie, was the complete lack of a face. His head was smoothed over, skin warping almost to resemble expressions but wrinkling and stretching against the muscles of his face buried underneath. Despite the horror, he was so intriguing, mind-wrapping around the concept of him. This figure always showed up in the corners of your vision, in the dark areas of a room or behind tall objects, like he was truly there watching you.
But you had to convince yourself it was just a trick in your mind, closing your eyes and breathing deep to center yourself back. Sometimes it was hard, body and mind under so much stress you felt like you were genuinely dying, but you always came back eventually. You were just never sure if that time would be your last. 
Dropping your groceries onto the counter, you pulled the fridge open, grabbing a bottle of water. You were scrounging now, desperate to use your money wisely to buy the things you needed now without a job. It was rough, losing a lot of the things you once took for granted due to your own mental decay. Having friends was out of the question now, your hallucinations creeping onto them as well and ruining any social ability you once had. For lack of a better term, your life was falling apart before your eyes. And there was nothing you could do about it.
Turning back to your groceries, you gripped the paper bags, dragging them to the edge of the marble counter, reaching your hand in. At first, you were confused, wet sludge touching your hand and pulling out quickly. Nervously you peered into the bag, eyes widening and throat constricting as you jerked back, gagging. 
The paper bag was filled with organs, thick blood coating the goopy tangle of insides as the sack tipped over, contents spilling onto your counter and hardwood floors. You retched, gripping the counter behind you as you forced yourself to look away, a lung landing near your foot. It wasn’t long before you were sobbing, the retched smell filling your nose and sending you hunching over, gagging as you clenched your stomach. It was everywhere, blood staining the floors as livers and kidneys slid from the marble and fell onto the ground with a wet slap. 
This couldn’t be real, this wasn’t. You closed your eyes, breathing deeply and trying your hardest to silence the screaming panic inside your body. The sounds and smells sent you reeling, sobbing into your hands as you tried to calm down, praying to whatever would listen to take your hysteria away.
As the smell dissipated, you peeked from behind your hands, stomach nervous at the sight you might find. However, apples and cans of food spread on the ground, rolling under counters and resting beside your feet. Breathing deep, you crouched down, sobbing into your hands as you tried to clean up the mess you had caused. Your mental strength was deteriorating, morale so low you couldn’t even bring yourself to care for your well-being anymore.
Googling the creature’s appearance was enough to get at least some information. This thing was called ‘Slenderman’, a well-known cryptic being around the area that was a big folklore agent. Most of the blogs you found circled a weird fan base, cultish intrigue following the lengthy being wherever it appeared. It was cringy, hysterical almost, but at least it gave you some sense of what you were working with. 
This creature was haunting you, torturing you, and you had to do something about it before it killed you.
-
The woods were dark even with a flashlight, dense trees blocking the view of the full moon overhead. Why you were out here, you weren’t sure, but it felt like a good place to start. Considering your visions, most of them took place in the forest, the tall creature always cradled amongst the branches and leaves and just barely out of view until he decided otherwise. So as you pressed through bushes and overgrown grass, it just felt right to be here, eyes scanning eagerly with every step.
You know you should’ve been scared, should’ve been consulting a therapist or a priest for these sorts of things, but your mind just wouldn’t let you rest. He was terrifying, sure, but your intrigue overruled any hesitation you might’ve had, beckoning you towards him. Maybe it was all a part of his game, luring you into a false sense of curiosity just to take advantage. But, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. You never feared a little game of cat and mouse. If this thing wanted your mind, he was gonna have to work for it. 
But your mental strength reflected poorly as you shook in your skin, heart pounding at every rustle of leaves or snap of a twig. There were no telltale signs that you were going in the right direction, having no clue if he would even be in these woods in the first place, but something in your gut told you he already knew you were here. It was like this weight holding your mind, a claw gripped tightly around your consciousness until it was suffocating you, dragging you down into the worst parts of yourself. So, if that bastard could do that, he could very well buck up and face you if he really wanted to. Taking a deep breath, you stopped, for no particular reason other than your pants becoming too loud and your body becoming too eager.
“I know you’re watching.” You stated calmly, but just loud enough for it to echo throughout the trees. There was no immediate response, just the subtle breeze wafting through the limbs and noises echoing back to you. It was unsettling, but you could feel something building, sliding through you unnaturally. It was calm at first, an irritating chill pushing up your spine and to the back of your head, throbbing gently. A normal person could have passed it by as the start of a headache, but you knew better, irritation growing.
“You’re real good at that, y'know? Hiding and teasing. What, you get off on it? Pain and all that?” You chuckled through grit teeth, flicking your flashlight off and tossing it to the ground, crossing your arms. The tension pulsed, making you flinch as you felt phantom claws curl against your insides, quickening your heartbeat. You hissed, holding your ground and examining the trees, searching for that familiar energy you had seen too much of. “Why don’t you come say hi?” You growled, digging your nails into your arms to stop you from gagging. The feeling was nauseating, mind tensing and swirling until you felt dizzy, cold energy running through you. He was here, it was evident now, but he hid behind your mind, nestled just between the corners of your consciousness just where you couldn’t reach him, couldn’t flush him out. It was torturous, but in some sadistic way, it felt good. 
Your mind tensed, neck craning as you rolled your eyes shut, pushing back against the grip. “Or are you too scared?” You smiled, shuddering as the tension pressed against your skin, faint phantom claws pressing against your back. Now it really felt good, teeth grit as you tried not to groan, back arching slightly as they slid up to your shoulders and gripped to your neck. Gasping, you open your eyes, dizzy against the dual sensations as your mind whispers a secret to yourself, begging to find the creature somewhere out here instead of just in your thoughts. “Please…”
Like a prayer, your eyes stopped, the sensation against your neck dissipating as you found that familiar stark white skin nestled just perfectly into the shadows. There was no difference between what lay before you and the image that showed in your mind, that familiar suit and energy radiating all the same. However, your idea of his height was skewed, his head almost reaching the top of the branches on the pine he stood behind. He was… huge. Towering almost an entire other person over you, your head barely coming up to his waistline as you watched him, your heart pounding against your chest as the tension in your mind gripped harder, making you groan.
He was several yards away, just visible enough to see his jaw twitch as he watched through a blank expression. You wanted to move, to press towards him and interrogate, but your mind was so numb, so mushy you couldn’t think of how to take another step. 
“Bastard…” You hissed, palms clenching as you glared, fighting against the nauseating feeling. Maybe it was the intensity of it all, the pressure and chilling sensation that crept all over your body, but you couldn’t stop your stomach from fluttering gently, thighs clenching together. Slenderman tilted his head in amusement, curiously watching as you felt the pressure creep from your skull down your chest, finally settling into the pit of your stomach. You hunched over, clenching your gut as you gasped, staring through heavy eyes at the lanky being finding amusement in your uncomfortable position. “Such a bitch… hiding…” You gasped out, stomach-lurching as you let yourself fall to your knees, jeans digging into the wet grass as you groaned, tugging at your clothes. You couldn’t compare the sensation. Almost like someone was digging their fingers into your gut, teasing and prodding at your insides until you were squirming and whining for relief. The one thing you could describe, however, was the irritable way your cock began to twitch in your boxers, curiously flinching to life. You tried to press your hands down, covering yourself as your bulge grew and pressed against your pants. 
Now Slenderman was really interested, taking a calm step out of the shadows and slowly towards you, clasping his long claws behind his back as he watched you squirm, desperate to push your aching cock back down. There was so no fucking way you were getting excited from this feeling. You were closer to throwing up than you were to cumming, but for some reason, it lit a fire under you, turning you on in some nauseating way. But as his dress shoes crunched against the wet grass closer to you, you couldn’t help but moan under your breath, gripping your jeans tightly as he stood in front of you, towering over you so tall you had to lean back to see his face.
He was bent at the waist, chest tensing against his suit as he breathed slowly as he leaned down closer to you, the weight in your gut growing the closer he got. “Fuck… Fuck you…” You whined, tears pricking on your waterline as he finally stopped, hot breath blowing against your face that seemingly came from nowhere.
“Interesting.” Slenderman chuckled, his voice smooth and low, every word laced with the undertone of a darker grumble, like two voices were speaking at once, overlapping each other subtly. You flinched, him speaking with the lack of a jaw movement making you uneasy, body beginning to tremble under him. “You have such a strong resolve. It’ll be satisfying to crumble it.” He stood back up, readjusting his tie around his neck as his bony stature swallowed yours. You wanted to snap something back, but your mind was cut short, swallowed by pain as phantom claws dug into your skull, piercing your mind with the nauseating noise of chalk scratching. You groaned out, gripping your head as you rolled your eyes deeply, whining against the feeling as your stomach rolled. The pain should’ve pushed your arousal down, should’ve scared you, but all your cock could do was strain, twitching with excitement the deeper it felt like the claws sunk. What the hell was wrong with you?
A crippled moan rolled from your lips, thighs tensing together as your knees dug into the ground, palming at your jeans for some sort of relief from the strain on your mind. Slenderman was watching, amusement gauging his features as he poked and prodded at you, infesting your senses. “So sensitive.” He cooed, putting pressure against your chest and stalling your breathing, forcing your lungs smaller than they wanted to be. It was exhausting, heart and mind running a mile a minute as you wheezed, staring straight into his expressionless face. “So fickle.”
“Why-” You managed to push out between coughs, head dizzy and congested with nausea. Slender pushed forward, reaching his claw out to wrap around your face, thin fingers enveloping your entire jaw in one firm grip, squeezing your cheeks close together. “You’re going to work for me. Your strength, your abilities, they’re all admirable. They would make a great asset to the little group I have,” He smiled behind the stretch of pale flesh, skin pinching into a strained grin. “I just have to crack that determination you so desperately hold onto.” 
He squeezed down tighter, claws digging into the sides of your head and making you whine, your skull feeling like it could crack under the pressure. All the while keeping your eyes trained on his smug face, flesh hot under his touch, cock twitching as you relished in the feeling of being overpowered, fear mixing with arousal uncontrollably. Your jeans pressed way too tight, sensation overloading you to the point of it hurting, begging to be touched as your sadistic brain ran rampant.
Slender took notice too, peeking past his arm and down towards your groin, spotting the obviously large bulge nestled between your legs. “Hmm…” He inquired, easing the phantom pains that pressed into your head and dragging them achingly slow down towards your legs, making your eyes widen and breath quicken. You tried to push back, reaching your hands to claw against his arm, tugging at his jacket sleeve and whining desperately. The lanky creature snickered, deep voice holding you irritable as the touch stretched down to your cock, putting heavy pressure against it. 
Groaning deep into the palm of Slender’s claw, you wrapped your hands around his arm, holding yourself steady as the phantom touch pushed down teasingly against your clothed cock. You nearly choked out a sob, pushing your hips up eagerly to create friction as your cheeks grew dark, embarrassment being lost in the relief of being touched. Slender watched eagerly, brows tensing as he hummed, mentally pushing and rubbing down onto your bulge. 
It was heavenly, eyes rolling and soft gasps muffling out, eagerly chasing the touch as it began to retreat back off of you completely. You whined, clawing at his thin arm until he let go of your face, standing back up straight. 
You had been so skewed by your hazy mind that you hadn’t realized the absolute presence of the creature before you. He was terrifying, sure, and powerful too. But you couldn’t act like you didn’t notice how powerful he felt, how easily he could mutilate or destroy you, but just how easily he could command and dominate you. It turned you on in the worst kind of way. You wanted to be angry, to tear him to shreds for the insanity he’s caused you. But as he looked down, crossing his long arms across his chest and tapping a claw onto his suit sleeve, nothing could stop your cock from aching.
“Stop looking at me like that, bastard.” You growled, sniffling your tears back at the strain against your jeans, clenching your thighs closely together for at least some friction, but more so out of embarrassment. “Quiet. I’m trying to figure out what to do with you, boy.” He snapped back, tension growing in his face. You wanted to growl, but more desperately you wanted to beg. Beg for whatever that sensation was to come back, to give you more. “Hm, I know,” He grinned, unbuttoning his suit and sliding it off of his shoulders, his white collared dress shirt sitting snug against his bony figure. “You can’t be broken like the others, it seems. You’re… in need of special treatment. Something that’ll break you in ways pain can’t.” His voice was low and husky, eagerness lacing his echoing voice as he rolled up his sleeves, tucking them up to his elbows in that hot way older men did. You were writhing, caught in the middle of terror and excitement, mind unsure of which one to pick.
But it seemed Slender was going to pick for you. As you leaned back onto your haunches, body straining, you stared wide-eyed as dark, slimy tentacles began to push out from his back, the lanky creature breathing deep as they caged around him, several veins pushing towards you slowly. To you, they blended in with the tree branches around, thick limbs curving and jagged like the wood of a tree, perfect for camouflage, you realized. But as they began to slink around you, cold warmth snaking across your arms and into the sleeves of your shirt, you couldn’t help but gasp, leaning into the feeling. It was so odd, unlike anything you could compare it to as they gripped around your legs too, pushing themselves under you and lifting slowly, stretching your body off of the ground as you tried not to panic. They held you tight, pushing your shirt up and into your pant legs, odd slime spreading across your chilled skin until you were moaning.
They worked quickly to tug your shirt over your head, Slender clasping his hands behind his back again as he watched, controlling the tendons to tug open your jeans and slide them down your legs as well, bulge embarrassingly evident against your thin boxers. “Wait… Woah…” You mewled, straining your arms to push the tentacles away but they wrapped around your wrists, holding them clasped together as they fully undressed you, finally slipping your boxers down and hooking off of your ankles. The night air was so cold, body tensing and shaking as you held suspended in the air, gasping as the slime slid scarcely close to your ass. “Where to start…” Slender crept, neck craning to examine every inch of your nude body as he pulled you closer, a large claw wrapping around your waist and smothering your hips entirely. He held your thighs, neck, arms, pale claws wrapping around them completely, easily holding your limbs in one grasp. But turning you around, suspending you higher in the air, your head dropped quickly, tentacles turning you upside down as Slender palmed at your ass, blood rushing to your face as he tugged your cheeks apart. “Here seems right.”
Wrapping his claws around your waist, he pulled you snugly against him, back pressed to his lower abdomen as tentacles repositioned, angling better to hold you in the right position. Your arms strained, grasping onto his suit for balance as you teetered upside down, bangs falling from your face and head already beginning to feel dizzy. Your heart thudded, cock hanging lazily down against your abdomen, bobbing in the air as you felt claws spread your thighs apart, asshole puckering from the cold. There was nothing you could do, no fight you could put up that wouldn’t result without you dropped on your head or thrown for distance. No matter how much your brain screamed at you to fight, you were forced to settle, forced to hold onto his clothes and beg your determination would hold out against whatever plans he had. Whines slipped as your head pounded against the pressure building between your ears, your face growing deep red as you hung.
Then came the cracking, the ear-straining tears that sounded from above you. Fear pushed you to look up, neck straining as you watched with intrigue as Slenderman’s expressionless face began to change, skin stretching right about where his mouth would be. He was creating a mouth, or better yet, exposing the one he already had. Shreds of skin tore open, pale flesh cracking to form a mouth as his jaw craned open, tugging the skin apart. That’s when you saw the teeth, rows and rows of jagged nestled inside of his wide mouth, a long tongue slipping out between the razors and lulling above you, already soaked in saliva. How was he able to conceal an entire mouth? How was he able to conceal that tongue? It was long, the muscle curling and flicking like his tentacles, wet and dark and pointed at the tip. You wanted to whine, to tug away and run. But as he slid his head down, wrapping his claws tighter around your hips, you moaned, cock twitching as he slid his tongue between your cheeks. It was cold, saliva spreading between your plump cheeks and pressing against your hole, tip teasing before continuing to wet the rest of the area. You were groaning loudly, hands gripping tight as pushing your hips back, aching for the feeling but oh so nervous as well. 
“It’s going to taste so good when you submit. When I break that willpower to resist inside of you.” Slender chuckled between laps, growling as he licked up your thighs, teeth knicking against your skin. You tensed as he finally settled between your cheeks, claws tugging your ass apart to give him clear access as he began to shove his tongue against your tight rim, giving you no time to adjust before he was shoving further. You were howling, back arching uncomfortably as Slender disregarded your body’s restraint, forcing the thick muscle deeper until it felt like you were going to tear, lower body screaming. “Oh my god-” You snapped out, teeth clenching as you forced your eyes shut, body straining against the thickness slipping inside of you. It was uncomfortable, pain snapping at your muscles but only feeding your cock to ache more, pulsing against your stomach eagerly as Slender growled against you, brows knotting. Your jaw hung lazily as he bottomed his tongue out inside of you, thick muscle straining against your tight walls as your rim stretched too wide. You were dizzy, being upside down made you nauseous now, brain pulsing between your ears. 
Slender was quick now, tugging his tongue out just enough to push it back in fast, clawing your hips back against his mouth, Lazily fucking you up onto his tongue, you moaned out loud, the wet schlick of his tongue moving inside of you echoing against the trees. You tried to resist, tried to hold your mouth shut and muffle your moans to not satisfy the cryptid, but it only irritated him, moving faster. His tongue curled inside of you, nudging against your tight walls and pressing down hard against your prostate, enveloping the bud wholly. “Oh, fuck-” You whined, hands clenching tight around his pant legs as his tentacles roamed, slithering against your hot skin and prodding at any sensitive spots you revealed. Behind your ears, curling onto your nipples, even wrapping tight around your ribs, anything to get you to make a noise. You tried to push back, to withstand, but as you clenched your eyes shut, the tentacles moved down, curiously sliding around your thighs. Tensing, you tried to clench your thighs together, Slender’s thick claws holding them wide and still, tongue continuing to milk your ass as you whined. 
You flinched when the tentacles slid around your aching cock, slithering around the girth and holding tight, slime covering the length and poking at your tip. Your back arched into the feeling, Slender grunting as he followed your hips, pushing his head forward back between your legs. The tentacles began to stroke your cock slowly, going only half the pace that the cryptid’s tongue was, gripping tight and pulling hard to milk precum from your tip already. You babbled, grinding your hips in time with Slender’s movements but failing as he read your body, speeding himself up. His goal was the break you, so he couldn’t let you become comfortable, needing to push your body further than it wanted to go. 
So a large tentacle pressed to your face, sliding against your jaw and shoving itself between your lips, filling your mouth quickly. You tried to relax, tried to take the tendon easily, but it forced itself in, shoving its way down your throat until you were gagging, throat straining against the size. If hanging upside down wasn’t bad enough, having your breathing cut by a large slimy tentacle made it all the more intense. Your lungs screamed, begging for air as the tentacle matched the pace of Slender’s tongue, tugging itself out of your throat just to shove itself back in, filling your senses with gags and slobber. Eyes rolling, slobber running out of your mouth, and body falling apart, you were already losing, already having to strain not to slip into some lost headspace. But even with the lack of eyes, you could feel his gaze burning into you, feel as he beckoned unfamiliar sensations and noises from your body. 
Your whines began to sound cracked, your voice high and pitchy as it gagged around the tentacle, vibrating around the intrusion. You tried to push, tried to pull your arms loose of the grip wrapped around your body, bucking your hips the deeper Slender probed his tongue, trying to escape. Every drag of his tongue, his tentacles, even his claws was becoming painful, overstimulation scratching at your brain as you cried, sensations becoming filled with nothing but him. It hurt so bad, the suffocation and the strain, so you couldn’t explain why a knot was growing in your gut, cock leaking desperately as it was tugged and swallowed in thick warm slime. It just hurt so good. Slender could read it too, pulling the tongue out as far as he could before slamming it back inside, curling it onto itself to stretch your hole wider, crying out as you felt your rim tear, blood pooling against the muscle. The sting sent you, body convulsing into itself as you came hard, strings of hot seed shooting down and onto your chest, eyes rolling into the back of your head as the tentacle stopped deep into your throat, nearly making you puke. Slender’s tongue rode you through your orgasm, relishing in the way your walls clenched as your cock fell flaccid, sensitive in his grasp. He slowly tugged his tongue out, groaning at the taste of blood soaking in until he was completely out, slurping up the taste vulgarly. 
He still had his tentacle pressed into your throat, your hands slamming down against him as you cried for air, slobber and obnoxious choking sounds getting so loud he almost feared you’d throw up. But maybe that would be good…
Deciding against it, he tugged the tentacle out, your lungs gasping for air as your eyes clenched shut and your face returned to a normal shade. The tendons slithered, repositioning to turn you upright, flinging your body off of Slender’s warmth and into the air, dropping you hard against the ground. You groaned, hunching into yourself as your body slammed into the cold grass, bare body wrecked by the cryptid. You were still gasping, chest heaving as you tried to wipe the cum from your chest, wiping the sweat from your brow. Slender seemed unimpressed, slipping his tongue between his teeth as he readjusted his button-up, refolding the sleeves back up to his elbows as he knelt down at your feet. “You can take more.” He stated cooly, standing back up and shooting a tentacle out, wrapping tight around your ankle and dragging you back up again.
You clawed desperately at the grass, pleading some unheard begs to stop as he slid another tentacle around your chest, pulling your eye level with his chest. You watched through heavy, tired eyes as Slender tugged another tentacle down towards his slacks, unbuttoning them as he slid his claws around your chest, pulling you closer to him. “I can’t…” You gasped, head spinning as the tentacle shoved his pants down, tugging his cock out. You watched in horror as Slender placed his length on top of you, nestling it beside your own weak cock and resting it on your stomach. It easily reached right below your chest, almost tripping your length when hard. It wasn’t normal thought, the texture and curvature more like another tentacle, but the rosy head already leaking told you it wasn’t just another tendon. Slender smiled rabidly, length twitching and pulsing on top of you as more tentacles wrapped your body, pressing and poking against all those obnoxious spaces again. “You will, boy. You’ll take it.” He snarled, tendons pushing you back as a separate one wrapped around his length, stroking himself as he crossed his arms again, watching you eagerly. 
You thought his tongue was bad. But as you watched his cock line up with your ass, you nearly screamed, heart pounding in your ears. You were so terrified, cock twitching back to life involuntarily as you watched his claws snag around your hips again, tugging you close as his head pressed against your asshole. He was going to tear you in half.
Slender groaned at your little panicked sounds when he finally began to push through, watching you as tears filled your eyes and your voice cracked with pleas of how it wouldn’t fit, how it’d kill you. He smiled, teeth glimmering as you began to stretch, rim catching impossibly tight the deeper he pushed, your body thrashing as a tentacle wrapped around your throat, clenching to alleviate your tension, but also to silence your mindless protests. Slender wanted to forfeit all restraint and tear you up, caring less if you ruptured something. But there was a science to this, a cool calculated way to make you fall apart, to make you want it more than he did. “Don’t fight it, yeah?” He growled, stopping his press when you began to gasp for air, sliding his tentacle across your cheeks and nipples to take your mind off of the sickeningly wide stretch your ass was experiencing. “Just give in already.”
Slender snapped his hips shallowly, just barely pressing an inch in more, but it was enough to make you scream, fists clenching and throat sobbing as you arched, the fullness making your head light. You tried to hold your eyes open, tried to fight against the pain and the stretch and keep your head right, but you just couldn’t. So, eyes heavy, you let your head fall, jaw unhinging as you went boneless in his grasp, cock snapping against your abdomen. Slender took the opportunity, pushing deeper until he caught on your rim again, growling at the tightness holding him still. But as he looked down, he smiled, a wicked chuckle echoing in your dizzy head as you peeked at him, and then down to what he was seeing.
Your stomach bulged, the tip of Slender’s cock pushing against your abdomen and making a clear outline for you to gawk at, eyes watering as you felt your body shake with excitement. You watched carefully as Slender slid a claw over top of the bulge, pressing down and making you gasp, tension building in your gut already. “You think I can get deeper?” You shook your head quickly, begging desperately for him not to as your body already felt like it was going to fall apart, overstimulation overtaking you wholly now. “I think I’m gonna try anyways.” You could’ve puked.
Slender tugged his hips back, replacing his claw back onto your hip and giving you a clear shot as the bulge disappeared, eyes wide as you watched him steady himself, tentacle clenching down hard around your throat as he grinned. He snapped back in quickly, length making it halfway inside of you before pushing against your walls, the bulge reappearing and making him stop. You cried out, back snapping as you cried, clawing against your own skin as your brain tensed, pain rocking you. You cock bobbed in the air, body straining as Slender hunched over you, curling his body to engulf you as he snapped again, pushing his cock in and out roughly. The cryptid didn’t seem to know the word gentle, claws already digging into your hips and drawing intensive amounts of blood, pale fingers coated in deep red. But the sight of the bulge pressing and retreating in your gut made you dizzy, throat tensing to scream as the tentacle found its way back to your mouth, shoving itself back inside as you gagged again.
Slenderman knew this was a torture method, a technique catered just to you to break your mind, making it easier for him to use you; as a proxy or otherwise. But as you cried out, cock twitching with every thrust of his thin hips, the cryptid found it hard to restrain himself, failing to hold his composure the deeper he pressed. He was supposed to be the one in charge here, supposed to break you and go from there, using you however he needed. But you just felt so good. The way you clenched around him, the way you fought but failed to disguise your secret want for the pain he was giving you, and especially how you resisted. He liked the way you tried to act hard but fell apart the moment he pushed himself onto you. It was addicting. 
Slender was panting, hot breath pushing from his mouth and brushing against your face, his nonexistent eyes baring into you at the sight of his tentacle choking you, slobber dripping down your chin as you cried. You were stunning, in the worst kind of way. 
Thrusting faster, you wanted to scream, wanted to keep yourself from tearing in half as he pounded against your walls, half words and babbles falling from your full lips. Slender groaned, pushing his phantom touch onto you and pinching your skin, prodding at your mind and body, sending you further into hysteria. “Break. Break for me, boy.” He snapped, trying his best to push more of his length into your tight ass but failing miserably as you went dumb, body hanging limp as twitching and aching at every hard thrust. You had no choice, nothing left in your body to push back with as you came, cock pulsing between your legs and cum shooting across your stomach. It was nauseating as your ass clenched, letting even less of Slender’s length enter until he was snapping his teeth, growling as he dug into your hips, rutting like an animal into you. “You wanted this, you want, you wanted thi-” Slender gripped as his tongue slipped from his teeth, hanging as saliva dripped onto your face, running down your dark cheeks. He couldn’t stop himself, fully aware that you were already beyond pliable, but his own chase for pleasure making him stay. If this was bad, then why did it feel so good? Why did he need to come so deep inside of your ass you’d be feeling it for hours?  He didn’t know, didn’t want to know, all he knew was to keep thrusting, keep digging into your hips until his own cock pulsed, tension building in his gut.
Slender growled low and heavy as he came inside of you, milking his cock with your tight ass as the bulge pushed hard against your stomach, a tentacle quick to wrap around and press down, making the two of you holler out. “Fuckin- Take it.” He snapped through moans, tongue slipping down across your face and lapping at your tears, teeth shining as they nipped at your hot skin. The cryptid stayed there for a minute, relishing in the feeling of you falling apart on him, fully submitted as his hot cum began to leak from your rim, speckling down your cheeks. You could barely breathe, tentacle retreating from your mouth and sliding against your stomach, mixing your cum against your skin. But when he pulled out, rim stinging at the tug, you whined, holding onto his claws as he pulled you off of him, letting his cock fall between his legs. “Boy…” Slender cooed, watching as his cum spilt from your puckered hole, the muscle tensing and untensing as you leaked, whining at the feeling. 
You couldn’t remember much after that, Slender’s tentacles laying you to the ground gently as he redressed himself, letting your cold body numbly shiver as your mind went blank, watching the leaves rustle above you. It wasn’t long before you felt his tentacles circle you again, scooping you off of the ground and covering you with his suit jacket, the fabric covering your entire body and keeping you warm against the night air. You wanted to push away, to forget this ever happened, but more than that, you wanted to sleep. 
-
You truly had no clue how you had gotten into an unfamiliar bed, let alone one in a mansion. The place was huge, with old architecture and a weathered feel surrounding you as you tried to move, sore body preventing you from doing so much as rolling over. But it didn’t take long until you were recovered, Slender appearing every so often to give you mystery food and water before disappearing again. You soon learned of the ‘others’, the proxies that were manipulated, much differently than you, but broken all the same.
You soon learned the purpose of your visions and the reasons behind the horrors you were experiencing. Slender wanted you, and he got you, traditionally or not. You worked for him now, mind pushed well past reason and compliant to his every command with the help of that pesky phantom touch. He used it well, touching you just enough to get you stirred and motivated, eager to please him. 
However, instead of horrific visions of organs and torture, you were met with vibrant flashbacks of that night in the woods, the reason you were even here. It was teasing, almost, like an invitation to sneak away to Slender’s office where the others didn’t dare go, where only you spent the quiet parts of the night. 
So, as you sat on his lap, tentacles twirling around your body and pushing into your lips, you couldn’t be happier.
This was an anonymous request!
Comments and reblogs are appreciated!
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410 notes ¡ View notes
ovaryacted ¡ 1 year ago
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Rookie Mistakes
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Pairing: RE2!Leon x Sergeant fem!Reader
Summary: When Leon seems distracted and makes a mistake during a call, you ensure your rookie gets his head together as his sergeant.
Content/Warnings: 18+/MDNI. NSFW. Porn with plot. Dom/sub elements. Femdom/msub. Praise kink. Slight degradation. Needy/subby Leon. Oral sex. Fingering. Handjob. Office Sex. Slight age gap (reader is older at around 25, Leon is 21).
WC: 4.7k
Notes: Finally this is out. I know I know, I'm a liar! But, I had fun with this one, so I hope you like it. Shoutout to the babe @cinnarette for beta reading this and giving me her approval lolz. Anyways, reblogs & comments are always appreciated!
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Leon had always been one to find the good in a shitty situation. Someone with a warm heart that matched the moral compass he developed despite the constant bullshit he experienced daily.
From his hectic childhood to his experiences in the police academy, he had to overcome many trials and tribulations on his own with nobody in his corner. All of those struggles to get the pure sense of relief once he felt his diploma in his hand made all the stress worth it.
When he first arrived at the R.P.D., he didn’t know what to expect. The anxiety of starting fresh in a new city with a new career clouded his mind with a paranoia he seemed to carry in his youth. Walking into the police department he’d call his new home, Leon was fairly surprised to be greeted with a welcome party.
Balloons and confetti filled the common room as he moved around the crowd, bombarded with introductions and greetings as he tried to memorize the names that were thrown his way. Still, the small games and blue cake he indulged in brought a smile to his face, topped off with the polka-dotted party hat he was forced to wear and the words Welcome Leon hung up on the ceiling for him to see.
What Leon didn’t expect was to be assigned to your personal detail the next day. A police sergeant on the force, a bit older, no more than 25 he first assumed, more refined and seasoned with one hell of a glare. First impressions? He was terrified, nervous as hell to fuck anything up seeing how you ran a tight ship, taking your job too seriously for comfort. Of course, you had to. You were working in a male-dominated field, forcing yourself into a mold so you could be taken seriously by those around you.
He took his hand out when being introduced to you, unstable grip and a nervous smile to match as he looked directly into your intimidating gaze. You shook his hand firmly, the strength of your grasp parallel with the small grin you offered him almost made a shiver roll down his spine.
“So you’re the new rookie huh? Well, it’s nice to see a fresh face in here. We have some serious work to do. Let’s get started.”
-
You were particular about how you wanted things done, very precise in your words and your delivery. A harsh leader, one who easily reprimanded the other rookie officers but was particularly picky with Leon. In a way, he started to feel like you were targeting him, pressuring him so he would crack and leave the force. He knew he couldn’t leave, that this was the career path he chose, and he was too anxious to say anything so he’d let it slide.
You didn’t let up on his training either, always making sure your rookie was on top of what was expected of him. The slight fear Leon had when first meeting you quickly turned into admiration. His stress-induced feelings morphed into respect, now wanting to learn everything you had to show him.
That was when it started. Leon now tried any little thing to get in your good graces, to see even the slightest sign of a smile or to hear you laugh. He started coming to work earlier to help with the case filings you had piled on your desk, organizing them the way you taught him whenever you assigned him grunt work. He wanted you to take a breather and start your day with a clear head, maybe even enjoy your coffee for a bit longer.
When you saw how tidy your work environment was, you went up to Leon who you saw was typing away at his desk diligently. His head lifted up to look at you, blue eyes glancing over your face to read your expression.
“Morning. By any chance, did you fix all the files on my desk?”, you asked curiously, making the blonde rub the back of his neck shyly.
“Yeah, I did. Wanted to help you out a bit and give you an early start to the day” he responded, silently hoping you wouldn’t be upset at him for entering your workspace. Instead, he was met with your look of genuine surprise, followed by a twinkle of gratitude.
“Thank you for that, I appreciate it. Keep up the good work Leon”, you praised him, offering a small smile, one that he made sure to burn into his memory.
“Yes ma’am”, his face was practically beaming at your words as he watched you walk back towards your office, trying to hide the sudden warmth flooding his cheeks.
Your words kept repeating in his head nonstop throughout the entire day. Not only did you acknowledge him in a positive light, you also addressed him by name, which was rare. He was more present at work, his posture straighter, and more eager to help. From that point on, he made it his mission to make sure his sergeant was stress-free, doing anything to see you smile at him again.
Working with Leon, you quickly learned that he was perceptive. A smart cookie, and probably the smartest one out of the current bunch of recruits. Despite the tough love you gave him, especially because he was your professional responsibility, he was the only one truly receptive to your teachings. Like a sponge, he took in everything you gave with a certain wonder you hadn’t seen in anyone else. It was cute really, how he was so ambitious and doing his best to get your approval.
What you liked the most about working with Leon was how he addressed you. He took your authority seriously, seeing someone in charge instead of your appearance. He didn’t say your name, not your first or last out of respect, but rather he always addressed you as Ma’am. You never had someone say that to you directly, thinking it makes you sound older than you actually are. But with the way his eyes warmed up when he’d say it with full confidence, you didn’t have it in you to tell him to stop.
-
Over the next few weeks, Leon became part of your daily routine, integral to the start of your day. He’d walk in a few minutes early as expected, with two coffee cups in his hands as he waited for you outside your office. Spotting the top of your head coming from speaking to the chief, you were heading his way. You had the same soft smile reserved just for him, one that he always looked forward to seeing when you worked together.
“Got you your usual”, he offered one of the cups to you, your fingers lightly grazing his when taking the warm concoction into your hand.
“Extra caramel?”
“With oat milk, vanilla and cinnamon. I triple checked”, he said enthusiastically, observing you as you sipped the drink. A soft hum escaped you while you closed your eyes in satisfaction.
“You know how to spoil me”, you gave him a wider smile now, seeing how his cheeks blushed the slightest bit at your expression. His reaction made you chuckle, a sound he’s come to enjoy the more time you two spent together. 
“Now come on, we need to work on this case before we patrol at 12. The chief’s on my ass again so let’s get this over with before lunch yeah?”, and without fail, he’d give you the same ending response every time.
“Yes ma’am”
The more you invested in Leon’s skills, the more you realized small things about him that were fairly telling. You weren’t stupid. Anyone with a brain could see that the respect and admiration he had for you was turning into something else entirely. You could tell with every passing moment you had with him, noticing how the tension between the two of you would get thicker after every interaction. You didn’t comment on it. Instead, you enjoyed toying with him, a part of your ego feeding off on how he’d say yes ma’am in such a way that would make you want to hear it more often.
The faint touches between the two of you got more frequent. Your fingers would brush his during the exchange of files, you saw how he’d always be within a hair’s distance when standing near you. Moments spent training in the shooting range were where the intimacy seemed to skyrocket, putting your hands on Leon’s arms to keep his form up as he shot towards his target.
You didn’t need to do that. Leon was a good shot, accurate too. But you enjoyed the way he released a shaky breath whenever you were close to him or touched him, how the tips of his ears reddened when you praised him for hitting the bullseye.
In one certain instance when the R.P.D. was extra busy, you were being hammered with files and administrative work. The coffee sitting on your desk was no longer doing its job of waking you up, and the constant bombardment of having to organize new information was starting to make your head pulse. You stood up from your seat to give your back a break, bending backward until you felt a satisfying crack in your spine. Hearing a knock at your door that brought your attention, you noticed Leon on the opposite end.
“Hey, my bad if I caught you at a bad time. The investigators wanted to review those files on that drug bust we did yesterday, something about missing information”
“Oh yeah yeah, it’s right behind me. Hell, I don’t even know where I put it”, you turned to face the mess behind you, lamenting at the stack of files you have yet to sort through today.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll look for it. You stay focused on what you’re doing”
Just like that, Leon came over behind you, going through the files while you stayed reading over the papers in your hand. The both of you made quick conversation, commenting on how busy it became. The increase of instances flooding the department only added more to your workload. Leon kept digging through the pile, turning his body to go to the other side of you.
In the process, he put a hand on your hip and muttered an apology, slightly making you jump and walking behind you to go to your left side. You tried to pay no mind to the gentle touch, going back to refocusing on the case at hand. He found the document folders he needed, suddenly too close to your body when the second he turned, you moved backward into him. Leon’s hips pressed against your rear, his hands reaching toward your hips instinctively despite the hitch in his breath at the contact.
“S-shit, I’m sorry…”, he mumbled, cheeks flushed red as he walked out of your office. You didn’t get a word in, but his reaction was enough to tell you about what you already knew.
The ghost of his touch filled your mind for the rest of the day, and it was worse for Leon. He tried so hard not to think about it. Not to fantasize about how your hips would feel bouncing against his with force, what you’d sound like when you’re aroused. It was practically impossible for him. His imagination went haywire the second he got home, jerking himself off to relieve the hard-on he’s been managing since earlier this afternoon.
He couldn’t get the image out of his head. He thought about how you’d praise him, call him a good boy for making you feel good. Deep down, he wondered if you were equally as authoritative in the bedroom as you were outside of it. As he released all over his hands with a whine, he sighed to himself, fully aware that he had reached the point of no return with his own thoughts about you. 
-
It was a Tuesday afternoon when both of you were assigned to handle two suspects committing a robbery. Called to the scene, you trailed them down to a nearby commercial street. They were careless too, throwing their guns halfway into the chase and the items they stole slipping from their grasp onto the concrete floor. Catching them felt easy, handcuffing one to the ground and throwing him to the backseat of your cop car. Leon seemed to be distracted, with what you didn’t know. When the second thief seemed to slip from his grasp and started to make a run for it, you knew he needed to get his act together.
“Get your head out of your ass Kennedy! Before I put my foot up there instead. Now move!”, you ordered him to get back into the patrol car. Turning on the police siren, you drove to track down the next suspect and apprehended them with quickness.
The drive to the station was quiet besides the two handcuffed men grumbling behind you. Leon kept his mouth shut, refusing to look your way, and focused on listening to the chatter on the radio. He knew you were pissed, and he didn’t know what had gotten into him today but he couldn’t focus for the life of him. The nagging voice in the back of his mind was telling him to be prepared for the worst, because he fucked up, and worse yet, he fucked up with you.
After bringing the two robbers down to the precinct, you couldn’t erase the irritation from your face. You couldn’t even look at Leon, upset that someone like him after so much training made such a rookie mistake. You only offered a glare, knowing for a fact you’d have to talk to him later on when your temper wasn’t so flared up. For now, you made Leon sit at his desk to do filing work, deciding not to berate him in front of the other officers and saving him the embarrassment.
Knowing you were giving him the silent treatment, he avoided you for the rest of the day, staying late at the R.P.D. in hopes of being able to talk to you. Leon drummed his fingers on his desk absentmindedly, until you came up behind him and got his attention.
“Kennedy, to my office. Now”, your tone of voice was harsh, making the hairs on Leon’s neck rise as he got up to follow you back to your workspace.
You locked the door once the both of you were inside, leaning back against your desk with your tactical belt off so your hips pressed against the wooden edge. Arms crossed over your chest, your head raised at the cop before you, watching his feet anxiously moving as he looked at the floor with slight shame.
“I want to know what happened out there. You messed up, and that’s not like you. You don’t make rookie mistakes anymore, we’re passed that”, you started to speak. Leon’s gaze was pinned on you, trying to hide his humiliation but it was clear as day.
“I know. I know I fucked up, it was a stupid mistake. I’m sorry”
“Yeah, it was. I didn’t invest all this time in training you personally for you to let things like this slip. You’re better than this, you know that”, your tone changed from irritation to concern, trying to get him to see the bigger picture.
“You’re my responsibility, Leon. I’m this harsh and this strict for a reason, and it’s because I care. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t give a shit what happened to you, but I do. This reflects back on me, so just get your head together alright?”, you saw how his brows furrowed a bit in slight confusion at your confession.
You cared about him.
“Yes ma'am. It won’t happen again, I really am sorry”, his hands started to fumble with his tactical belt.
“I know you are, but sorry’s not gonna cut it. I can’t have you distracted like this. Not on my watch”, you said, now walking from the desk until you stood in front of him. He didn’t move a muscle, not knowing what else to do besides stand there.
“If you’re really sorry you’re going to have to prove it. You’re not getting off that easy. You got that rookie?”, your eyes held that intimidating stare that made Leon tense, you could practically hear him gulp. 
“I-I understand ma’am. Whatever it takes I’ll do it.”, he was still oblivious, having no idea what he just got himself into but he wasn’t complaining, not when you were this close to him. Your hand went up towards his belt, a singular finger curving into one of the loops to yank his body forward. Now standing chest to chest he shivered at the close contact, holding his breath and waiting for your next words.
“You’re gonna use your pretty mouth to prove that you won’t mess up like that again. Maybe if you’re good enough, I’ll think about being nice and rewarding you. That okay?”, your words were laced with pure temptation, making Leon nod, too scared to speak up. He didn’t know what to expect, but lord if he wasn’t going to pretend he wasn’t enjoying it. 
“Use your words baby”
“Yeah, f-fuck it’s okay”, he was shaking in front of you, a blush on his cheeks so intense you could feel the heat radiating off of his skin.
“Can I kiss you?”, you tilted your head up towards him, his warm breath against your lips as the ends of your noses touched.
“Please do…”
You didn’t waste another second, lips colliding against his as Leon finally released the breath he was holding. He let you take control, his mind turning to complete mush at just the feel of your mouth against his. Tongues dancing together, you ran your fingers through his hair, his own hands going to paw at your hips. He released needy faint moans, holding on to you as if you were going to leave him any second now. When you pulled away from him and bit his bottom lip he whimpered, a sound you didn’t expect him to make. You fucking loved it.
You walked backward while he followed you on jittery legs. With your back now pressed against the desk again, Leon’s face dug into your neck, leaving a path of kisses in a way that made you chuckle. His hands were everywhere, overwhelmed with what to do or where to touch. You brought your fingers into his hair again, giving him a soft yank as he groaned out from the action. Pupils already dilated, you eyed him closely, how he seemed so far gone when you haven’t even started.
“You want to be good for me Leon?”, your voice was soft, almost patronizing and it only made Leon’s dick pulse in his pants.
“Yes, I wanna be good for you. Don’t want you mad at me”, Leon pouted, and you fought the urge to kiss him again.
“Then get on your knees and start working on your apology”, you commanded, watching how he bit his lip and nodded.
“Yes ma’am”, he was already shifting down to the ground, diligent fingers on the button of your cargos and undoing them, while you threw your shoes off.
Pulling the zipper down, he started to drag the fabric to your knees until it hit your ankles, pants discarded to the side and leaving you in your panties. Sitting on top of the desk, his eyes looked up at yours, coming face to face with where you wanted him most.
His large hands moved from your shin to your knee, then towards your thigh and hip to hook his thumbs into the waistband of your underwear, noting the wet patch that was already staining the cotton material. He dragged them down with ease until they hung at your ankle, lifting one of your thighs onto his shoulders to admire all of you with a soft moan.
“Can I taste you? Please?”, he mumbled against your thigh with a soft kiss. He was already playing the part so well, offering him a smirk as you drank in the way he begged you for more. You didn’t even have you train him.
“Yeah baby, you can”
Without hesitation, his mouth made contact with your body, the taste of your wetness filling his tongue and making his chest rumble. It was better than he imagined, moving his tongue up and down against your slit to collect the developing slick. You released a low hum from your lips, already pent up from the stress of your job and your day, now having your favorite rookie tending to you on your orders.
Leon was anything if not keen, tongue lavishing against your throbbing clit and his lips circling around it as he began to suck. You threw your head back at that, hand holding his head in place and hips moving towards him shamelessly. He was grunting under his breath, growing obsessed with the way your body twitched anytime he touched you just right. 
“You’re doing so good Leon, so damn good for me”, you praised him again, feeling the sounds he’d release when you did talk to him. It was debauched, how his senses were filled with just you with no end in sight.
This was how you wanted to see him. On his knees and eager to please.
His attention went back to your opening, feeling it flex around nothing with every flick he gave you. Inserting his tongue into your cunt, your hips arched towards him again, moaning louder than you anticipated.
You were silently thankful your office was a bit farther away from the rest of the department, and being it was later at night, you didn’t have to hide much of anything. You moved Leon’s face closer to your body with a pull of his head, clit pressed against his nose as he sucked at your essence greedily, taking in everything he could get. 
A warmth started to develop in your gut, pleasure like liquid fire making your body twitch. The high you so desperately craved was in near sight, grinding yourself against Leon’s face and using him to get off. He didn’t object, moving his mouth to suck at your clit again, two fingers teasing your entrance before inserting them inside. You cursed under your breath, the dual sensation of Leon’s fingers curling against your g-spot and his consistent sucking brought you closer to your much-needed climax.
“Fuck you’re gonna make me cum”, you could almost taste your release right at the edge of your tongue, could imagine the way it would feel to finally let go.
You looked down to watch Leon at work, how he’d pump his fingers at just the right pace, how his eyes grew hazy with pleasure when they looked up at you.
With one soft nip at your clit your release hit you full force, a small squeal leaving your lips as your gummy walls clenched around his fingers. Your grip on the desk and his hair were both tight, knuckles turned white as stars filled your vision. Leon kept moving his fingers and mouth the whole way through your orgasm, groaning loudly against you and refusing to stop. He couldn’t get enough of you or your taste, forcing you to pull his head away before the overstimulation made it too much to handle.
The both of you were panting, eyes widening when Leon pulled his digits away and inserted them into his mouth to lick off what remained of you. You pulled him up towards his feet, dragging him down to kiss you again and chasing your own taste that flooded his tongue. If you weren’t on a time crunch, you would’ve gladly let him go down on you again.
“Did I do good ma'am? Do you feel good?”, Leon asked, thumbs rubbing your trembling thighs as you came down from your high, flushed face waiting for your approval.
“Yes, you were so fucking good for me. You ate my pussy so well”, your words made him smile then, a dopey lopsided grin that seemed to ease his doubts from earlier.
“I think you deserve a little reward now. You want some help with that pretty boy?”, your eyes gestured to the tent in Leon’s pants, looking up at him from your long lashes.
“God, please touch me”, he begged then, blue eyes engulfed in pure lust.
You didn’t want to tease him any longer, undoing his pants and slipping your hand inside. With a gasp he felt your fingers wrapping around his cock that pulsated with need, knowing it wouldn’t take him long to cum either. He had been on the edge for too long, imagining you like this for what seemed like months. You pumped him, twisting your wrist and pressing your thumb against his slit, feeling the precum that was already making a mess in his briefs. 
“You get hard when you have your superior’s pussy in your face huh? You like being used like that baby?”
“Y-yes, yes I do. God I fucking love it”, he nodded dumbly. “Love the way you taste, the way you feel…”, he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, mind so blurred with just you that he was losing track of time and himself.
You smirked, kissing his neck and pressing your lips against the mole on his throat. Leon swallowed, hands pressing into your thighs for stability but he was so close to losing it. He thrusts his hips up into your hand, chasing his own high and you gladly let him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear and biting at the lobe. The sounds Leon released were downright pornographic, whines and lewd wet sounds filling your office. 
“S-shit I’m gonna cum. Can I cum? Please ma'am, I’m so close”, he begged again, his cock throbbing and hot in your hand as he spoke. He bucked his hips more into your squeezing fingers, your pace picking up as you jerked him off more persistently. He felt like he could barely breathe, the prickly feeling in his lower spine getting more prominent the closer he got to his orgasm.
“Be a good boy and cum for me Leon. I want to see you cum baby”, it was your final order, and those words alone were his undoing.
His body shook above you when he fell over the edge, his lower stomach flexing hard as he came all over your fingers. He cursed and whimpered, an array of thank yous were said against your neck, hands pressed into your thighs hard enough to bruise your skin. His cum dribbled out of him as his body jerked, still pumping him to the point of sensitivity. He clutched your wrist to signal you to stop, half-lidded eyes looking at yours that filled with mischief.
You took your hand off of him and licked the remaining fluids, purring at the taste of him filling your mouth. Leon bit his lip when watching you, already starting to feel his dick twitch again for more.
He leaned down towards you, kissing you hard and chasing his taste, just like how you did with him. The eroticness of it all overwhelmed him, rasping against you as you pulled away. You looked over his face, cheeks flushed pink and lips plump from their usage. You burn that image into your mind, saving it for later when it would be more helpful. 
“No more distractions or mistakes from here on out Leon. You come to me if you need to clear your head. Understood?”, he released a dry chuckle, placing another kiss against your lips, much softer than before. The intimacy made your chest warm, your smile matching his own.
“Yes ma’am”
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2K notes ¡ View notes
serial-unaliver ¡ 10 months ago
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ive been meaning to ask this for a while but like in an antipsych world what would the treatment/response to bipolar be like? much like schizophrenia its obviously something that wouldnt go away when several factors (capitalism, psychiatric abuse) do
i'm actually psychotic not currently in inpatient psychiatric care and you basically need a very dedicated support system. for safety my family has done things such as lock weapons away, installed cameras outside home, and if there's a serious issue and they're gone alert the neighbors to come check on me. my parents also know how to approach delusions and paranoia. there is actually a history of bipolar and schizophrenia in my family, so they'll even contact each other like "do you think xyz would help sivi like it does with [cousin]". community support and awareness of severe mental health issues is a good approach. of course things will not always go smoothly, but that's why you don't have just one person involved so it's not as overwhelming and people can rely on each other (my aunt has helped me in place of my mom and stepdad sometimes when things get very bad).
i'm also not opposed to use of medication but there should be more autonomy surrounding it. and with bipolar you may need to change doses or medications more often.
I do want to say that schizophrenia and bipolar can actually be partially trauma induced especially when there's a family history of the conditions. schizophrenia also presents differently in more communal and accepting societies because the person is not as alienated (i'm not lying, there's research on this, it's an interesting topic to look into actually). so even mental health conditions known as being more 'nature' than 'nurture' can cause more or less stress depending on your environment and the values you're raised with.
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qdbs-writes ¡ 2 years ago
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Glad to see you’re back! I missed you! 🥺
May I please request headcanons for Erron, Cassie, Johnny, and Kitana reacting to their female S/O being shot by a sniper while they’re on a date?
thank you so much, sweetie! i missed you too, sorry this took so long!
MK Peeps' Fem!S/O Gets Sniped While On A Date
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Cassie Cage
Being in the Special Forces undoubtedly had some downsides for Cassie. Was every terrorist organisation gunning for her and her family? Yes. Did she give a shit? Of course not. Cassie can't imagine there would be anybody alive stupid enough to do something like shoot her girlfriend...
So when a sniper plants one on you, Cassie is beyond outraged. The fact that you got shot in front of her, clearly someone wanted Cassie's attention and they have it now. You'll be left in the capable hands of the Special Forces medics while Cassie goes on a violent hunt for the stupid mother fucker who thought they could shoot you and get away with it.
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Erron Black
Erron was a man who had trouble getting over his past, but some parts of being a gun-slinging vigilante had its benefits. For example, Erron can instantly recognise the distinct sound of cordite made by a firing gun. But it wasn't what he'd call polite conversation for the little roadside diner you'd both found yourselves in.
What he doesn't recognise is a sudden momentum knocking over his hat and the fabric and flesh tearing from your bicep in a clean line as you gasp in pain. Erron yanks you to the ground, beyond further harm, and shields your body with his own until you were certain the would-be sniper had left. Frankly, you had gotten off lucky with just a scrape, Erron has seen a properly handled sniper rifle take a man's head off from several miles away. He picks you up as he stands, and drops a few hundred dollars into the tip jar of the diner that was now missing a window. You smile apologetically at the bedraggled waitress as you make your way outside, secure in the knowledge that you and Erron have a new mission.
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Johnny Cage
All his life, Johnny had worried about big windows overlooking mountains. All his life, people called him paranoid. So naturally, when you book a date in a fancy restaurant in the Swiss Alps, Johnny will be on edge. No matter how many drinks he has, he can't seem to swallow that anxiety.
When a red dot starts to hover over your forehead, Johnny's sure he must be having some kind of stress-induced hallucination. But he's also had a lot of wine, so fuck it, Johnny launches himself over the table, pulling you to the floor with him alongside a clattering of cutlery and plates. Your unimpressed glare tells Johnny that he's about to get an earful until the tall window beside you both shatters into pieces. A stunned silence falls over you and the restaurant patrons as you realise what's happened. Meanwhile, Johnny is having the time of his life, for once his paranoia has paid off! He'll also continually bring this up for at least five years.
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Kitana
It happened so quickly, she almost didn't notice it. All the warning she got was a distant bang and suddenly there was a deceptively small, round hole in your shoulder, the blood spewing out as you collapse onto the floor.
In a fit of panic, Kitana rushes for you, rolling you over to put pressure on the wound. Tears pour from her eyes as she searches for life in yours. By the time healers come, you'd managed to keep focused on Kitana's face above you. The princess was distraught, not just at your injury, but the fact that she never knew that Earthrealm weapons were capable of such attacks.
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camels-pen ¡ 6 months ago
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sanji taking care of usopp on his low days. usopp pulling sanji aside to breathe through a panic attack. sanji making usopp's favourite soups when when he has trouble eating. usopp making a diluted perfume out of his Sleeping Grass for sanji's insomnia. sanji joining him on watch when usopp's paranoia edges into stress-induced hallucinations. usopp curling around sanji's back, whispering reassurances and rubbing his palms after a nightmare-
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entity56 ¡ 2 months ago
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i dont think its often discussed how traumatic that delusional experiences can be
just the delusion itself. if its overwhelming and long enough it's enough to be chronically traumatic. like. i spent a full year or so believing my soul had left and i was rotting internally. i became obsessed with eating clean to 'heal myself' and ended up becoming borderline orthorexic. i was TERRIFIED of the idea of dying (without a soul there's nowhere to go) but at the same time I wanted to just to get it over with and 'finish the process'. i could feel my organs 'rotting' and 'molding' and 'squirming'. i could feel the bugs and maggots in my body and brain. and I was young, like maybe 13-14 years old during this... I felt this stress EVERY DAY. now outside of a purely fictional context anything to do with the human body, skin or diseases terrifies the shit out of me. im a hypochondriac now. like majorly.
sometimes, somedays, i got hopeful that i did still have a soul, or at least a piece of it, and that if i could JUST get out of my body, I'd be free.
those were really bad days. what i called 'escape attempts' were just paranoia induced self harm.
was anything happening to me? no, but it felt EXTREMELY real. i get flashbacks and delusional 'relapses' and nightmares. that year left a permanent mark on my psyche.
and that's not even to say the stuff that CAN happen during a delusional episode. suicide attempts, being mistaken as aggressive and attacked (SHOCKINGLY common), being alienated by the ones you're supposed to trust, the list goes on and on and on. and you're not allowed to talk about it because thats disturbing. thats weird and gross and bad and schizophrenic/schizospectrum people are crazy and less than human. and trauma means something ! that happened irl ! and those were just delusions it was all in your mind you basketcase.
idk. im rambling. i just know i got an untagged post on my dash saying 'There's mold growing inside of me' and am now nauseous and fighting the idea that that nausea is Actually My Organs Rotting.
praying for a future where neurotypicals treat us with more respect
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darkveracity ¡ 1 year ago
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Does Hinamizawa Syndrome Actually Exist?
Keiichi, Shion, Satoshi, Satoko, and Rena all develop extreme paranoia and resort to violence in various timelines
This is just what happens when a young person under extreme stress feels powerless and desperate and goes without food or sleep or healthy social interactions for a long time. All of them have internal justifications for their actions that make sense to them and feel like there's no other choice. Hinamizawa Syndrome functions as a metaphor for all the broader forces that put them in this situation and bear partial responsibility for their actions but precisely because it's a metaphor it's not actually required to explain anything
Satoshi struggles violently when they stop sedating him
Yeah because you kidnapped him and strapped him to a table in a scary looking medical facility. Anyone would be terrified and fight to get away under those circumstances!
Patients have similar delusions (paranoia, footsteps following you, maggots in your throat)
This should actually be expected regardless of Hinamizawa Syndrome since paranoid delusions are very culturally mediated and Hinamizawa has legends about all of these. It's not any more meaningful than American schizophrenics commonly believing that the CIA is spying on them
Hifumi Takano saw many men from Hinamizawa go insane during the war and tear out their own throats
Did he check at what rate non-Hinamizawan soldiers lost their minds and killed themselves after the stress of committing war crimes? Isn't this just selection bias at work? The unique manner of death is interesting but not conclusive beyond their local culture having an approved method of suicide
Irie vivisected the culprit of the dam murder and saw evidence Takano attributed to the disease. Later Irie drilled a hole in Rika's head and Takano vivisected her mother as supposed 'Queen Carriers' and they again saw what they believed to be evidence of Hinamizawa Syndrome
However they never did any controls to check that what they saw wasn't true of all humans or unique to their few victims. A few vivisections with no controls that no one else can attempt to replicate for ethical reasons performed by a scientist with the kind of strong motivation to find evidence that leads to confirmation bias doesn't constitute proof
Irie developed a drug that controls Hinamizawa Syndrome symptoms and a vaccine for the disease. Takano developed a drug that induces symptoms
Anti-psychotics and anti-anxiety drugs both already exist as does drug-induced psychosis. It's totally plausible that they just invented new drugs in these standard categories. Irie supposedly developed a vaccine but Takano was inoculated and still developed symptoms under extreme stress so it's not clear that it's effective
At one point Irie and Takano make the dubious claim that Rika's health controls the health of the whole village and when she's sick everyone gets sick at higher rates
I'm pretty sure this has to be confirmation bias or reverse causation. The whole queen carrier theory is nonsensical anyway and it's canon that the part about her death driving the whole village insane is wrong. It's true that Rika's family has been passed down through firstborn daughters for eight generations straight but that only takes us back a couple hundred years and Hanyuu lived 1000 years ago. What does Takano think happened in generations where the firstborn child didn't have kids or where the main family died out and it went to a cousin or what have you. Rika could easily disprove the whole thing if she just went digging around in the Furude archives and drew a nice family tree
It's somewhat implausible for so many kids in the same area to be at risk of psychosis
This type of mental health issue is very genetic and Hinamizawa is the kind of isolated village where everyone is distantly related. It's more than possible
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horseshoegirl ¡ 1 year ago
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Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 14 - Sex on Fire
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📓 We have fluff! We have some smut!
This song specifically was one of the big three that inspired this fic! When I saw TGM and the scene at the end when Mav takes Penny up in his plane, this song matched the vibe, and I knew I wanted this for Jake and Liz.
Though I would love for you guys to try and guess which one is the song that inspired the whole story! Cause there is one! 👀
❗️+18, strong language, godmother reader/original female character, Mentions of an original child character, sexual themes (I mean Smut, so get outta here if you ain't +18,), FLUFF, aerophobia, and second dates.
#7k
Part 13 | Masterlist | Part 15
(Bradley's Spin-Off one shot here)
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Jake and Sadie were conniving little lunatics. 
Scratch that. Sadie was an annoying insect who knew how to push buttons to get what she wanted. Jake was a gullible poor sod who had the habit of being played by said insect more than once. Because you knew without a doubt, sitting in the front seat of Jake's truck, blindfolded without any idea where you were going, this had her name written all over it.
"Is the blindfold really necessary, Jake?"
"If you knew where I was taking you, you'd jump out of my truck in an instant."
"That's not very reassuring."
Jake chuckled, bringing your hand up to press a kiss to your knuckles. "Sadie would kill me if I didn't follow through on this. After all our hard work."
"So you're doing this more for her than me," you tease. You could hear the smile in his voice when Jake replied, "The ladybug incident didn't scare you enough. Sadie's scary when she wants to be."
You chuckled softly, Jake joining in as you felt his thumb stroke across your knuckles.
Going on a date had been the last thing on your mind.
Tyler was still a major concern. Even with Cyclone keeping a watchful eye on the group of police assigned to Sadie and your case, they still needed actual leads. You hadn't paid much attention to his phone call the other day, explaining the pressure on Tyler's father to drop out of his political race or how Tyler's stupid white car was spotted on the interstate, leaving California altogether.
It should have brought you some comfort, but it didn't. The longer time stretched on, the more anxious you felt, wondering when he would make his next move.
Then there was also the matter of Bradley. Stupid, over-emotional, Bradley.
It had been days since Sadie found you in the bathtub - days since the fight. You hadn't heard from him, nor did you expect to. Maybe a tiny part of you didn't want him to reach out. But any nasty thoughts you harboured for him in the days following only managed to turn themselves into pity.
You knew his story. Mav told it enough times for you to recite it by heart. Bradley had only been two when his father tragically passed away. And Carole, his mom, had been devastated. You couldn't begin to understand the circumstances he had to go through as a kid. Each time Mav told the story, he always stressed that no love could have matched Carole and Goose's.
It's no wonder Bradley felt their loss in the way that he did. And you did feel partially guilty, wondering if talking to him about everything before it had gotten this bad would have made a difference. But it was clear he was internalizing something bigger than just hurt feelings. 
You weren't going to make the first move. That would have to be up to him.
It better be a damn good apology.
The idea of a possible date started when Sadie had called you a panicking-inducing hermit, much to Jake's amusement, scared to do anything remotely fun outside the confines of the house. Honesty? It was more to do with the fact there had been no sign of Tyler, no white car following you or sitting outside your house to encourage your paranoia.
You had gone to bed early after that, Jake and Sadie staying up playing a game of cards. You had no idea what time it was when Jake climbed into your bed, waking you up in the process when he pulled you into his chest. But it was definitely later than it should have been for a game of cards.
Jake had stayed with the two of you. Every morning you got to wake up either next to him or in his arms. The Daggers were still grounded; whether it was repairs or upper politics of the Navy, you weren't sure. But you were utterly grateful for his presence. 
It became evident that it was clearly more than a game of cards the following morning. Because in the hours after breakfast, Sadie made herself scarce. And Jake purposely kept you away from the garage, where he had parked his truck, in case Tyler decided to visit.
Sadie's maniacal laughter was another indication, so loud you could hear it through the garage walls. You were slightly concerned about what Jake was letting her do in there. 
But it all came to a head when Nat and Bob showed up at your door, telling you they were watching Sadie for the night, the Bug in question grinning ear to ear as she joined you at the door. You tried to refuse. You didn't want to leave her alone. In a surprise move, Sadie pouted at you. 
She had never once pouted over anything. No, she pushed, sassed, humoured, and produced receipts when she wanted to get her way.
 It freaked you out, so much so you couldn't bring yourself to say no. Which is how you found yourself in the passenger seat of Jake's truck, Nat and Bob standing with her on your front porch as she shouted for both of you to have a good time as he backed out of your driveway.
This was the worst possible timing. And yet, after everything they did, you felt like you owed it to them to try.
"You deserve this, darlin'." Jake's voice breaks through your thoughts, knowing you feel guilty. You squeeze his hand, dropping your chin to your chest. You have to remind yourself that Sadie is safe at home with Nat and Bob, probably arguing over music or what board game to play. And most importantly, you were allowed to take time to do things like this.
It's a few more minutes before Jake finally parks his truck, letting go of your hand and gently taking hold of your face. "Do you promise to give this a chance?"
"I don't even know what you've gotten me into. What Sadie and you got me into."
You can't see his face, so you can't tell what he's thinking. But you can imagine what he looks like right now as you feel him tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. You bet he's staring at you apprehensively, gritting his jaw, and letting out a tiny huff of breath.
"You trust me, right?"
You turn your head to place a kiss on the palm of his hand. "You know I do, Jake."
"Then trust me when I say you won't regret this." You sucked in a breath before you nodded.
Jake lets go of your face to get out of his truck, walking around to open your door and help you out of your seat. You were instantly met with the smell of gasoline and pavement, the hot waves travelling up the bare skin of your legs, and your dress slightly flowing in the wind. There's a second where you think you heard the rumble of an engine or a zoom of a plane, but Jake doesn't give you much time to think about it as he helps you step down and shuts the door behind him.
Looping your arm through his, he leads you away, walking for a bit until he stops and turns to face you, squeezing your hand.
"Stay here," he says, letting you go. You cross your arms over your chest as you wait for him, hearing the sound of keys rattling together, sliding metal and a chain dragging along the ground. And then that's it. Besides the sound of wind in your ears and a few birds chirping, you don't hear any sign of him, and it makes you wonder if he's left you alone, standing in the middle of nowhere.
Until you feel his hand gently touching your arm, and you jolt slightly. "It's just me, Liz."
He guides you forward, making you stand in one spot, hands steadying you by your elbows. You feel him against your back for a few seconds before he's working at the knot of the blindfold.
"Just remember you promised," he said before taking it off.
You opened your eyes - to Mav's plane staring back at you.
You understood why the blindfold was necessary. You would have jumped out of his truck in an instant.
"Jake..."
"I said I would get you into a plane for our second date," he said, proud of himself. You knew where this was leading, what he wanted to do. You subconsciously stepped backwards, the words "absolutely not" escaping your lips.
You didn't get very far. Your back met Jake's chest, and he instantly had his arms around you, trapping your body against his. You turn, burying your face in his chest. "I'm terrified of flying, Jake."
"I'm going to be with you the whole time. I promise Liz, nothing bad is going to happen to you." He has the entire nape of your neck in his hand while this other hand is rubbing down the length of your spine in a comforting manner.
You don't know where your fear of flying came from. You've never been up in a plane before, a fact you certainly wouldn't admit to Jake. You were okay with heights, hikes on mountainside cliffs and long car drives.
Maybe it was the idea of not being in control of your body or being grounded.
"Jake, I don't know about this," you admit into his shirt. He presses his lips into your hair before explaining, "I won't let anything happen to you. We're just going up for a simple flight. The wind is perfect right now. There will be no turbulence. Trust me; I'm not called the best aviator at Top Gun for nothing."
He takes his hand off your neck to lift your chin. "Please," he urged, pressing a kiss to your lips. "Let me share something about my life that I love."
It was then, at that moment, you realized Jake and Sadie had something very much in common.
You could never say no to either of them.
___
If anyone had told you a week ago you would be sitting in the backseat of a plane, currently taxing down to a runway, you probably would have dropped dead on the spot. Even with your nerves on fire and a strong case of nausea, you let Jake help you up and into the back seat once he pulled the plane out of the hangar with little protest.
He was so excited to share this with you. Whether it was in how he helped buckle you into the seat or when he placed the headset on your head, there was a side to him you hadn't seen before. Almost giddiness, you thought, despite every internal voice you ever had screaming at you to run for the freaking hills. Even then, you were grateful you got to see this side of him.
As Jake speaks with the control tower expertly, you dart your eyes around the cabin. While there wasn't anything in terms of controls in the backseat with you, everything still looked old. The seat felt old. The buckles of the straps tying you down looked old. Even the walls looked old.
You also felt higher than you should, staring down at the plane's wings, eyes scoring the features, the colours, and the bumps. You knew you wouldn't find anything wrong. Jake was extremely thorough in his flight check, and you knew Mav cared for this thing like it was his child. But you were still scared, even believing if Sadie could do this multiple times with Maverick, who without a doubt took her for joyrides, you could handle a simple flight with Jake.
You should have fought harder to say no. You should have fought harder to say no.
Jake turns back slightly, looking at you from the corner of his eye. "I know it might seem scary, Liz. But trust me. I got you. We'll go slow."
Jake flies in an F-18, a machine capable of much more than whatever Mav's hobby plane could do. So his definition of slow is highly relative. It makes you feel nervous, wondering what he had planned for you.
It isn't until Jake pushes the plane forward onto the runway that you realize you have to accept that this is happening. Then he's accelerating forward, and you cannot help but hold your breath.
Adrenaline floods your veins as the plane takes off, gravity attempting to pull you back down in heavy anger. You slam your eyes shut, trying to force air into your lungs. The angle seems wrong, and you have this feeling both of you will crash into something, making you turn your face into your shoulder to hide.
Even when the plane levels out and things seem okay enough, you can't open them. Your heart is in your ears, and you're trying not to hyperventilate or make a noise. You don't want to ruin this for him. Because deep down, you knew, even with all the teasing and assurances, Jake would turn the plane around for you the second he got the slightest indication you were seriously freaked out.
So, for the longest time, you keep them shut, nothing but your heartbeat in your ears and the rumble of the old engine to keep you company. Even with Jake making this ride as smooth as possible, you couldn't help but alternate between gripping the edges of the seat or hugging yourself tight.
Don't open your eyes. Don't look down. Don't open your eyes. Don't look down.
"You alright?" Jake's voice crackled through the headset. First, you nodded with a hard sallow. But then you realize Jake couldn't see you. Your voice trembled as you managed to reply with, "Yes."
He chuckled to himself, the noise warm and full of amusement. He knew. He always did when it came to you.
"Open your eyes, Liz," Jake urged gently, his voice a mix of reassurance and excitement. "I'm not going to murder you if that's what your thinking."
Despite your anxiety, a smile manages to break through at his words. Actually, they are your words from the day of the hike when you took him down that hazardous unpaved road to the thrift shop. That had been so long ago, way before anything to do with Tyler, Bradley, or even before whatever this was with him.
He had given you the benefit of the doubt then. You owed it to do the same for him now. Shuttering a deep breath, you gathered the courage to open your eyes slowly.
At first, you half expected to fixate on the view of the ground underneath the plane's wings or catch a glimpse of the shoreline or ocean. That you'd hyperventilate, witnessing perhaps an engine on fire or a piece of Mav's plane missing, flapping in the wind.
You saw none of those things.
Jake had taken the two of you further North of the airport, towards a group of mountains. You were right in the middle of them, green caps and tall peaks making you forget you were even bound to the seat of the plane.
This wasn't flying.
This felt like soaring.
Jake banked the plane around one particular mountain, a tall one at the very end of the group. It wasn't until he purposely straightened out after circling around it, did the sun fully come into view. It was already beginning its descent toward the horizon, painting the sky with various hues and shades of fiery oranges, soft pinks and yellows.
The view from the Ferris wheel at the Fair had nothing on this.
Humans weren't supposed to witness views like this. They weren't supposed to be up this high, feeling like they could touch the clouds or be this close to the sun. Or see the shine, this bright, off the peaks of mountains or even be this parallel with them.
This was only something anyone could ever dream about seeing
As the plane glided through the sky, you could feel the sun's warmth casting a gentle light on your face. You closed your eyes, not out of fear this time, but contentment, placing your hands on either side of the window and taking a deep breath.
But when you opened your eyes, your eyes began to water, and you found yourself biting your lip as you looked back toward the sun. The words spilled out of you before you knew you had said them, your voice almost sounding broken as a single tear escaped down your cheek.
"Hi, Ridely."
Because there was something about being up here, in the clouds and the surrounding mountains and feeling the sun on your face, that brought you that much closer to her. Some part of you felt guilty for refusing Mav, Nat and even Rooster, to some degree, to take you up and experience this.
She was here with you. And you had never felt more free.
"You ready?" Jake asked you. Unknown to you, he was smiling, having heard your remark. You looked at the back of his head, a grin adding to the happy tears gracing your face. "For what?"
Jake didn't give you a reply. Instead, the plane tilted, and suddenly, the world was turning on its axis. A squeal caught in your throat as you found yourself spinning upside down.
"JAKE, YOU MOTHERFU.."
But your voice caught in your throat before you could finish your sentence, Jake laughing at your reaction.
Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as you originally thought. You didn't really know what to think about it, whether gravity would be pulling you out of your seat or seeing the world below would make you pass out.
The small part of you, still holding on to your fear, wanted to be mad at him. But the part of you, the one secretly enjoying the entire experience, won out.
The truth was, you couldn't help the laughter suddenly escaping your mouth. You couldn't help the smile as Jake accelerated the plane. Or when he let the nose dip ever so slightly to let it fall, you couldn't help the shout of exhilaration.
The rules of aviation or flight were beyond you as he controlled the plane through the air, nerves dying out and instead being replaced with pure joy.
You really could have cared less about being mad at him now.
The world below, and every problem in it, disappeared. And you were alright with that.
___
You didn't want to admit to yourself as Jake finally landed the plane that you never wanted that to end. Even if you should be feeling relief at being on solid ground or when he parked the plane in front of the hanger, you were high on adrenaline and sheer joy. 
You peered up at Jake's hesitant face after he helped you climb out of the plane, standing on wobbly legs. You couldn't do anything but pull him down by the back of his head and kiss him hard. He laughed into the kiss, rubbing his hands up and down your side as he spoke against your lips. "I take it your not afraid of flying anymore?"
You pull away, pressing your forehead to his chin. "Only if you are flying the plane."
It's feeding his ego, you are sure. His chest puffs out under your hands, and that cocky smirk he's known for returns, present in the kisses he's placing on your head.
"So I still have a girlfriend, then?"
You stiffen. Jake would want to put a title on this, even if it was only your 'official' second date. The both of you have done so much of this backwards, way outside the box of how 'normal' relationships were supposed to go. But in a few weeks, Jake and you went from a first date to sleeping in the same bed to him staying over for a week.
When was your and Jake's relationship ever straightforward? And as you told yourself in that bathroom at the fair, there was nothing wrong with being in love with Jake Seresin.
"I didn't know you had one," you say nonchalantly. Jake plays along, hands gripping your hips. 
"Oh, you didn't hear? Big Bad Hangman is suddenly enamoured with this assertive, savvy bartender at the Hard Deck. Turned him down flat on his ass the first time they met. Didn't stop him from wanting to be around her, though." 
"The shameless, cocky flirt who says the wrong thing at the wrong time, humbled by her and her sassy niece." He leans down to whisper in your ear. "Not to mention she's fucking hot."
You hummed, nodding your head and purposely avoiding looking at his face when he pulled back, your cheeks flaring up hard. 
"Will you look at me, Liz?"
"I can't."
Jake laughs at your reply. "You can't? Now why's that?"
"Because you're all ego right now and boastful, and you get that cocky smirk when you do," you mummer, still purposely avoiding his eyes. That cocky smirk grows even wider as Jake tugs your hips into his.
"You mean this cocky smirk?" he teases, pressing his nose to yours, maintaining his smile. You're fighting with yourself not to smile, but it's a battle you've already lost. Jake nuzzles his nose against yours before pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth, still grinning. And then another to your cheek, just below your eye, before he's littering your face with them, and you laugh as you try to escape him.
"But if you really want to know," he says after you give in, smiling at him as he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear. "I think you were mine the second you gave me that clean slate in your kitchen."
 "I was yours?" you press playfully, quirking an eyebrow. Jake pauses for a second, making a show of having to think about his answer. Till his face lights up in recognition, and he says," Oh wait."
He makes a show of standing straighter, dropping his voice lower and making his southern accent purposely thicker. "You've bewitched me body and soul since that night in your kitchen."
"Oh," you laugh wholeheartedly, knowing precisely what he's doing. "You're not trying to, Mr. Darcy, this!?"
He frowns. "I thought you liked Pride and Prejudice."
You grin at him, your hands working through his hair before you kiss his lips, pulling back slightly to mummer against his mouth. "That was before I had a decorated hotshot Navy fighter pilot sleeping in my bed."
Jake growls, and you giggle as he bends you backwards, kissing you again.
Stowing away Mav's plane didn't take very long. The two of you were on the road with daylight still out and Jake telling you the night was far from over. He took you to your favourite takeout place before driving to an Outlook, telling you he'd like to come here to think things through.
You know he intends for the both of you to sit on the flatbed of his truck when he backs it into the parking spot, purposely making it face out towards the water. He presses a button before the two of you get out, making the back cover come off. 
But Sadie's involvement in conspiring to get you into the backseat of Mav's plane clearly didn't end with the blindfold. Because the second two of you walk around and Jake drops the tailgate, Sadie's handiwork glares back at you.
You don't know where to look first. Your air mattress sits in the flatbed with a spare mattress cover. A few pairs of blankets are covering it, and you know she would have needed help to get the two spare pillows sitting at the back, the ones you kept on the top shelf of your linen closet.
Of course, Jake could have managed this all on his own. But the dead giveaway was the lights. It only could have been Sadie who had taken the battery-operated string lights you had on the bookcase in your family room and strung them to the sides of his truck, the electrical tape you knew had been Jake's idea.
When you get over your shock, you turn to Jake, absolutely speechless that he let her do all this. He shrugged like it was no big deal. "What? I have to give her credit. Bug's creative."
He set the bag of food down before placing his hands on your waist, lifting you up to sit on the edge of the tailgate. "Get yourself comfy, darlin'."
You didn't move. For the sole fact you were wearing a knee-high dress, and if you turned to climb on top of the mattress, he'd get a pretty nice view of your ass. He shot you a look once he hopped up, and you shrugged, avoiding his eyes. "You can go first."
He chuckled knowingly. "Nothing I ain't going to see eventually."
It was nice to know Jake's ability to make you bush hadn't waned after recent events.
The two of you settled up against the pillows, takeout containers in both of your laps as you ate, talking about Sadie and what it might look like for her when he had to return to school next week. Then his phone rang. You spied the face-time ID as Jake reached for it on the blanket in front of him.
Janet.
He looked guilty as he asked, "Do you mind if?"
You shook your head, smiling around the fork in your mouth before managing, "Of course not."
Jake handed you his takeout container, bringing his phone up to answer the call. But instead of his sister's face, he was greeted by the sight of a baby in a blue cap.
"Surprise!" Janet's tired voice rang out through the speaker. "Meet your nephew!"
Jake's eyes glazed over the second he stared down at his phone. His hand holding his phone slightly shook, and he reached out to grip the edge of his truck with a thump. You couldn't help yourself when you dropped the takeout containers onto the blanket in front of you and peered up over his shoulder.
"Oh my god, he's adorable."
Suddenly, the camera flipped on his phone, and Jake's sister was staring back at both of you.
Even in a hospital gown, her exhaustion evident, it was clear Janet was Jake's sister. Her hair was the same colour, her eyes the same shade of green. Her mouth was the same shape, and you were sure if she smiled, you would undoubtedly see Jake's same smile beaming back at you.
"Shit, he wasn't kidding when he said you were gorgeous."
You ducked, hiding your face behind Jake's shoulder, heat rising in your cheeks. Whether it was the quickness of your escape or Janet's revealing words, Jake seemed to snap out of his daze.
"Janet!"
"Hey, I gotta embarrass you where I can. Call it payback for all the times you shared my dirty little secrets with Ian."
"Those weren't secrets, Jan. He needed to know what he was getting himself into."
"Bless his heart for it too."
You shook your head, chuckling into the back of Jake's shirt at their banter. Jake looks over his shoulder at you, slightly amused.
"Come out, Liz," Janet called out from the phone. "I don't bite."
"Much," Jake grumbled.
This wasn't exactly how you imagined meeting his sister, one of the few people he actually considered his family. Slowly lifting your head from behind Jake's frame, you managed a hesitant smile, gripping him for dear life. "Congratulations, Janet."
She smiled at you, replying, "Twelve hours of labour, but it was so worth it."
"What did you name him?" you asked, unable to contain the joy in your voice.
"E.J.," she said, looking down at the bundle in her arms before returning to look at the screen, clarifying, "Elijah-Jacob."
Jake drew in a sharp breath, and Janet didn't hesitate when she cried out, "As if I would name him anything else, you idiot."
Resting your chin on Jake's shoulder, you peered up at the side of his face with an affectionate smile. "Your full name's Jacob?"
But he didn't answer you, instead asking his sister, "Now, why on earth would you do something as stupid as that?"
Janet shot him a disappointed look before her eyes tracked over to you. "Liz, will you help me out here?" she said, tilting her head toward Jake.
"Glady," you replied, tapping the back of his head. Jolting under your chin, Jake faced you, slightly shocked. But you only shot him a disapproving glare.
"You're my baby brother. You risk your f-ing life day in and day out every single time you go up in that jet of yours or go out on deployments to make sure everyone else can sleep safely at night. And when you are home? I won't even start on all the shit you stand up against, not with Liz here."
Janet lets out a huge sigh before exclaiming, "So don't question my judgment or my choice. There was no way I was going to name him anything else. Suck it up."
Jake could only shake his head in disbelief, a humbling smile growing with each passing second.
"Now, hand me over to Liz. I wanna talk to her properly."
This is so backwards, you think, as Jake passes his phone over to you with a knowing smile. You are suddenly filled with nervousness you are not used to. This was the one person you knew Jake sought approval from. Everything was riding on this one interaction.
But your nerves settle instantly when she grins at you and casually mentions, "So, he managed to get you up in that death trap."
"It seems everyone knew about this little plan but me, even my niece, dead centre in the middle of it."
Janet grins at the mention of Sadie. "From what Jake has told me about her, she's a girl after my own heart."
"Sassy? Opinionated? Knows how to get her way?"
"Something more like being an insect, but I can see where the similarities lie."
You chuckle softly, feeling Jake rub your side, before you say, "You remind me of her."
"I'd love to meet her one day. And you in person. "
"I'd like that. I'm sure she'd love you."
Jake shook his head violently, and you couldn't help but laugh at him. "My nephew will get all sorts of horrible ideas if he meets Sadie. Don't start him that young!"
You gasp at him. "Are you saying my niece is a troublemaker, Jake Seresin?"
"You know she is."
You shake your head, bumping him with your shoulder.
"Please get my number from my little brother over here. I want somebody to send cute baby pics to," Janet pouts.
"Could you send me embarrassing stories?" you wiggle your eyebrows. Janet smirks, a playful look in her tired eyes. "Oh, you want them. I'll give them to you, no problem."
 Oh boy, did you like her.
"Nope." Jake tries to reach for his phone, but you are quicker, laughing at his attempts as you stretch your hand out of his reach. "You have a ten-year-old in the palm of your hand who has an honesty problem and years of embarrassing stories about me. Let me have my chance!"
"In comparison? Nope. Not even close. Give me my phone." Jake holds out the palm of his hand. And then you get an idea, shooting him a playful stare as you extend your hand farther.
"Come and get it, Cowboy."
Suddenly, Jake lurches forward, almost toppling you over. Jake's efforts to retrieve his phone only cause you to break out in a fit of giggles, your stomach cramping so much you fall over into the air mattress, Jake landing on top of you. Your grip on his phone is still tight.
"If my sister wasn't on the other end..." There is no threat in his words. Jake's smiling with you as you continue to laugh, trying to pry the device out of your hand. Janet's shout through her own laughter interrupts the two of you. "Keep it pg, you two! Literal newborn ears over here!"
Jake manages to swipe his phone back when you laugh even harder at her words. You sit up, wrapping your arms around his as you try to fit yourself into the view of his phone screen when the two of you settle.
Janet looks up at something in her room and frowns. "I gotta go. The nurse will come back any minute and yell at me, I swear."
The both of you say your goodbyes, Janet explaining more than once she was happy Jake found you. But just before he went to end the call, Janet called out his name. 
"Watch out for a package from Texas coming up there."
Jake's smile flees at Janet's words, slowly dissolving into a sombre expression. His body tenses under your touch, and you see the second his eyes darken with a deep-seated seriousness. It's a side to Jake you've only truly ever seen once before - when he found you handcuffed on the floor of the Hard Deck.
Growing up, you and Ridley had all sorts of codewords and phrases for different things. Those were the unfortunate circumstances you had to live with as a kid. So you knew right away Janet didn't mean an actual package. Whatever it was, Jake was clearly not happy about it. It was making you deeply concerned. 
Jake reaches for your thigh, grip tightening when he replies, "Yeah, okay."
He hangs up. And doesn't mention anything else about it.
__
After finishing your dinner in silence, you sat next to Jake, staring out at the horizon. His arm was wrapped around your shoulders, keeping you tight to his side. At some point, you had placed both of your legs over his lap, wanting to be as close to him as possible.
It was still light out when Jake and you left the tiny airport, and the sky was now turning dark, leaving the small parking lot of Jake's outlook out secluded, the two of you alone and in utter peace. His fingers were absentmindedly stroking your skin as you both took in the last few minutes of the sunset.
"You okay?" you asked him, kissing his shoulder before looking back over the water, suddenly aware of Jake's hand slowly getting closer to the inside of your thigh. He kissed your cheek, replying, "Never better."
You don't buy it.
"You're an uncle now," you wondered aloud. Jake shrugged. "I already was one."
"But it's different. Sadie is..."
"Sadie counts." He quickly corrected you, kissing your forehead before looking back to the water. "She'll always count."
It warms you, his level of affection for her, but you cannot help but detect a sense of finality in his tone. Reaching up, you cradled the side of his jaw, turning his head back to you so you could lean up and kiss him.
Jake presses his lips to yours softly before pulling back to look at you. There's something in his eyes you cannot name.
Then his lips are back on yours, this time steady and encompassing, parting your lips with his tongue. Your grip on his face tightens as you suddenly find yourself being tilted backwards, sliding down the pillows until Jake is half on top of you. Your head is pillowed on his bicep as he kisses you, your hand still cradling his jaw. 
He then goes for your neck in a desperate breath, open-mouth kisses, sucking harder and harder. You're used to this. The two times Jake had you pinned up against him, he had marked up the side of your neck. But his hand, not trapped under your head, is wandering. Groping at your breast, sliding down your stomach to the outside of your thigh, testing his grip. 
He hikes your outside leg up, fingers brushing the sensitive part inside your thigh.
Your breath hitches.
"Is this okay?" he whispered into your ear. You hummed your reply, nodding once. But Jake grazed his nose along your jawbone lightly, fingers delicately sliding up and down the inside of your thigh.
"Words, Elizabeth."
Damn him and his accent, saying your full name.
"Yes," you gasped out, wanting him. "It's absolutely okay."
"My good girl," he says before diving back to your mouth. You know he's teasing you as he strokes your skin, making you quiver with anticipation of what is to come. But then he's reaching for the helm of your dress, lifting and folding it over your stomach, as he releases your lips in a harsh pant. 
The question is there in his eyes as he looks down at you, fingers resting just on the helm of your underwear. You swallow, opening your legs wide. Jake's eyes glaze over, and his arm flexes under your head. You're giving him this—this first experience of letting someone be with you. 
He doesn't hesitate when he starts dragging them down. You eagerly lift your hips to help him take them off. Once he gets them past your ankles, he shoves them into the back pocket of his jeans. 
Jake hisses when he takes you in, so spread out for him. "Can I touch, darlin'? Can I touch what is mine?" 
Fucking hell, Jake. Do you have a consent kink?!
"I'm yours," you gasp into the night air. "Please, Jake, Please."
Jake rests half on top of you, swallowing your whimper as he finally reaches and presses down on your clit, slow, gentle circles that have you closing your legs and sharp breaths racking your chest. Your hand shoots out and grips his wrist, feeling his muscles contract under your hand.  
"Keep them open, Liz," he warns, shifting down slightly so he can turn you and press you back against his chest. Jake slots his leg between yours, expertly thrusting his knee so your leg hooks up over his, never stopping in his efforts.
He rubs at you with ease, carefully watching how each movement makes you react before he switches to his thumb, and a single-finger probes at your entrance. You thrust your hips back into him, a strangled noise crawling out of your throat, and Jake uses it as an opportunity to push his finger inside. 
"That sound, " He breathes against your cheek. "You're driving me goddamn insane."
You used to worry back in university that you'd feel trapped if you ever found someone you trusted enough to do with this. But even with Jake poised at your back, working between your legs, you did not feel as if you weren't in control. Your body is open to the air, and Jake is only holding you down by his hand and the weight of his words. 
You feel safe. 
He adds another finger, curling them inside you, searching for something when you let out a sharp whine. It burns. The stretch. The sensations that were spreading across your groin. 
You felt full with Jake's finger's inside you, squelching sounds accompanying each time pumped them in and out of you.  "You're so tight," he moaned into your neck. "I won't have you here, but fuck Liz, the day I can have you gripping my cock." 
You bury your squeal into the flesh of his arm, your arm not currently gripping Jake's wrist, whipping out to find the side of his truck, making a string of lights fall. 
Not slow. This is not slow. 
"Knowing I'm your first." He bites the soft skin behind your ear. "That your mine." 
Your cry is muffled into this arm, and Jake glides his nose up the back of your neck to your ear. "Don't look away, Liz," he soothes. "Let me see your face."
It's the last thing you want him to see, ironically. The faces you make aren't pretty, and your eyes are slammed shut. And you were sure if you did open your eyes, you'd explode at the slight; you spread out so shamelessly open to the sky. Jake's hand between your legs, working you higher and higher off an unknown edge from the flatbed of his truck. 
But you do manage to turn your head back, Jake immediately catching your mouth with his in a desperate kiss. When he lets your mouth go, you whine out with a pant, "Fuck Jake, I can't." 
"Yes, yes, you can." Your words must have encouraged him because suddenly, his thumb is circling faster, and his fingers are pressing harder, working that spot inside you. Your eyes are screwed shut, tears seeping through as the ball in your abdomen grows tighter and tighter, nails biting into his wrist. 
"Are you going to let go for me, darlin'," he gasps into your open mouth, hovering above you. You wanted to, desperately. "Will you let me have it? 
You drop your head to his arm, the feeling too much to bear. You are on the edge of something, fire radiating from your core and making your thighs shake. Jake pants into your ear, once, twice before he moans, "Will you cum for me?"
His thumb swipes over your clit as he presses hard on that spot inside you. You keen, lights exploding behind your eyes as you arch your hips towards his hand, legs trembling as you clench around Jake's fingers. The cool breeze from the sea or the cool air from the night sky does nothing to the heat flooding your veins.
He's there. Turning your head back, catching your cries into his mouth, and taking the bruises you're pressing into his arm without flinching. In fact, he's smiling ever so slightly, watching you come apart underneath him.
You weakly turn in his hold, whimpering and trying to bury yourself into his chest as every emotion hits you at once. Jake pulls his fingers from you as you do, and you feel embarrassed at the wetness coating your thighs. Gripping the back of your leg, he rolls, taking you with him. Your body crashes limply onto his chest, and the one leg he's holding straddles his waist.
Your trembling, gripping his shirt to ground yourself and will strength back into your body.  There's a hyper-awareness you are not used to dancing across your skin - allowing you to feel the fabric of the blanket underneath you, the chill in the air, Jake's warmth, your release cooling on your thighs and covering his fingers, grasping your bare leg.
Any rational thought has gone out the window. Except for the fact you know Jake could not have gotten off from that.
He's hard against the inside of your thigh, through the denim of his jeans, the rough fabric creating friction against your clit as you rock lightly to the pulses aching in your core. He's groaning with each press, fighting with himself not to cant his hips up into you.
Even as you continue to whimper your aftershocks into his neck, you find yourself trailing your hand down his chest and to his stomach, fingers barely slipping under the waistband of his jeans, just reaching the first few strains of hair.
But Jake grunts, pulling your hand away and shaking his head. He brings it up to his mouth, kissing the palm before stating, "It's not about me right now."
"Jake..."
He doesn't give in to the soft pleading of this name. Instead, he grips the roots of your hair at the base of your skull, ensuring there isn't an inch of space between you as he pulls you close. His other hand is gripping the bare skin of your ass, keeping your dress up around your hips and lower half exposed to the cool air.
This time, you do feel trapped.
He's holding you like you'd be carried off by the breeze, ready to disappear at any second. As if faced with another deployment, off to fight a war with the fear of never making it back. The switch in him is so sudden that the aftershocks of your recent orgasm are reduced to cooling embers, and it only adds to your unease when Jake gasps through a sharp breath, "Just let me hold you and forget about everything else."
The concern you felt for him earlier returns with a vengeance.
Jake's anxious about something, and he's not telling you why. Suddenly, the chill in the air is too cold, the blanket is too rough, and Jake's fingers and the insides of your thighs are chalky, rubbing against your skin.
You focus on breathing instead, trying to calm your rapid heart. You weren't going to hold whatever this was against him.
Because despite not knowing what to think about having your real first sexual experience in the flatbed of Jake's truck, you today were the happiest you had felt in a while, even with literal hell overtaking your life.��
But listening to Jake's heartbeat pound under your ear, the paranoia you've ignored so many times before makes a home in your chest, and the allusion that was today dissipates, and everything comes rushing back. Tyler. Bradley. And now, whatever Janet warned Jake about that was making him act this way.
It was all a possibility again.
You couldn't help but feel this silver of happiness wouldn't last that much longer.
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Part 15: Have you ever seen the rain? Coming soon
Wickett ;)
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tacticaldiary ¡ 1 year ago
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N&R MASTERLIST || COD MASTERLIST
PAIRING: Simon Riley x Reader
WARNINGS: Stalking, Blood, Kidnapping, Panic Attacks
The Heat Of Indifference || Chapter 1 >>> (coming soon)
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Unrequited delusion turns the sweetest cup of intentions sour.
She stares at the note in her hand numbly. A tremour starts in her as she skims over it, spreads until her shaking has nothing to do with the chill of the air, the cool metal of the mailbox her other hand clutches onto.
'too busy for me?'
'i'll make time in your life for me'
'fucking someone else behind my back?'
'you looked so pretty the other day, i had trouble staying away'
'took a few pictures for my collection'
Crumpling the note, she looks around the dimly lit porch as if she might spot the culprit, might see the man that's been making her life a living hell, inducing a paranoia she's never experienced before. Unsteadily, she stumbles backwards into her house, locking the door and sliding the deadbolt.
Safe. It doesn't feel safe. Breath caught in her throat, she runs to her bedroom, sets her back to the door after locking it.
The other notes could be ignored, mixed in with the other fan mail, some scattered in her emails and her inboxes on social media, but this one? In her mailbox?
Her personal mailbox?
The one right outside her house?
He knew where she lived.
Bile crawling up her throat, she fumbles with her phone, dialing the number she memorised ever since she signed with the agency. It rings once. Twice.
Alban picks up on the third ring.
"It's one in the morning-"
"He knows where I live," She gasps out, the grip on her phone a kind death itself could not have pried away. "He-...he put something in my mailbox, what if he's inside?" The thought sends her into a spiral. "He's-he might be here, Alban, might be in my house. He's seen it, knows where it is, what if he's waiting outside? What if-"
"Calm down, hey, listen." He cuts her off, the sleep in his voice dissipating at her panic. "I'm on my way, okay? Hang tight, lock your doors. Stay put, you hear?"
"Stay on the line?" She requests shakily.
"Of course," The jingle of keys, the zip of a jacket. "Fuck, I shouldn't have let you go home alone from the shoot, I'm sorry." He sighs.
There's no more talk from her end, she listens as he stays on the line, hears the hum of a car engine, the slam of a car door. Alban would be here, and she wouldn't be alone then, and then-...
And then what?
Back to square one? Back to losing sleep and screwing up auditions To looking over her back and wondering when the next note would appear? No, that's not the life she wants, her gut twists painfully just thinking about it.
It started sweet.
A letter in her fan mail, just another proclamation of love, messages of praise and devotion online. Nothing out of the ordinary for one of the most popular rising actresses of her time. It's a place she's earned after years of hard work, growth and determination.
Then the letters started to change in tone. Annoyed. Impatient. Not understand why she wasn't writing back, why she wasn't noticing him.
The threats started after that.
To a degree, she understands that putting herself in such a bright spotlight opens her up to people like this, people who lived in delusions and acted in their own interests, but to be the victim of it...it was overwhelming, stressful, and frightening.
She's really, truly frightened.
                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The blanket around her shoulders was knitted by her mother.
Warm but slightly scratchy, it's one of the items that appears misplaced among the sleek, expensive look of her living room. Leather couches, wall-to-ceiling windows, and an open floor plan.
The dull scratchy blanket brings about a childish comfort, something long forgotten between the glitz and glamour of her new life. She buries her nose into it, her thanks muffled by the fabric when Alban places down the steaming mug of tea. His hair is pulled up in a bun haphazardly, his jacket only half zipped up. Pajama pants speckled with cartoon bananas she'd make fun of if she could bring herself to conjure a laugh.
The crickets sing, and it's good background noise for their silence. It's odd, how at ease the world is when the weight of it feels like it's caving down on her.
"I don't think this is going away on its own." She finally says, gaze flickering to meet Alban's.
"The police said they'd do what they could," He clicks his tongue. "The best they're going to do is run prints on the note, see if they can match the handwriting to somebody."
"Didn't work before, won't work now." She mumbles.
"So you know that we need someone other than the police now."
She manages a tense nod, and her acceptance seems to grant him an ounce of relief. "I'll give my contact a call then. We'll get you a personal detail sorted out by tomorrow."
The idea of someone being in her space 24/7 makes her uncomfortable. Alban had brought it up before, had brought it up multiple times actually, but she'd always shot down the idea, hoping the problem would resolve itself on its own. A personal security detail, a bodyguard. It seemed...excessive before. She values her privacy, values the little space that's left untouched by the eyes of the public, and letting someone else, a stranger, into it makes her uneasy.
His gaze softens. "I know this isn't what you wanted." He squeezes her shoulder, "But I'd rather see you alive and uncomfortable than dead in a ditch somewhere."
She likes that outcome too.
"I'll live." It was just for a little while, she reasons. "Just till everything passes."
"Just until it passes." He promises.
His presence makes her grateful. Alban has always been an anchor to her, someone to rely on. Her manager. Her friend, above all. He'd been with her through the ups and downs of her career, of her life.
"Thank you." It's not enough to convey the company he brings, but he seems to get it. His smile is knowing, and reassuring.
Enough to make her relax the barest bit.
                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
"I'll find the bastard myself, wring out his neck!" Melvin glares at her through the rearview mirror. He's been on a rant for the past twenty minutes, and she hasn't the heart to tell the old man to stop. On the contrary, it makes her feel better that someone is as angry as her about it.
"Not if I get to him first." She smiles despite the dreary topic.
"Now you listen here, you tell me about any more trouble you're getting into, alright?" They pull into the parking lot and this time Melvin turns around to stare at her, fiery and outraged. "I'll find 'em, set 'em straight!"
His wispy grey hair curls around his forehead, wrinkles and smile lines carved into a face that's seen more of her childhood than her own father ever cared to.
Melvin was the closest family she had. He'd driven her to her first audition, had seen her through it and took her to get the ice cream he always grumbled was too sweet when she'd been rejected on the spot.
"I'll let you know." She nods solemnly.
He narrows his eyes, squinting at her. "Are you mocking me?"
"Me? I wouldn't dare." She laughs, scrambling out of the car before he can go off on another tangent about the youth of today. "I'll see you in a couple hours!"
The office building stands at an impressive height at the heart of the city, glass windows showing off an impressive view of the surroundings. It wasn't often that she came here, Alban mostly took care of any paperwork she had to fill out and submit so there was never a reason for her to be sat behind a desk when she could be performing and showing her talents elsewhere.
Things had cooled down considerably after last night. Alban had stayed the night with her, and although she hadn't gotten much sleep it was reassuring to know that Alban's contact had pulled through and arranged a meeting with the security company that the man had been raving on about ever since this whole mess started. He'd gotten everything sorted before she'd even woken up for the day.
Task Force...something. She couldn't remember the numbers at the end of the title, but they were supposed to be the best of the best.
The elevator has a line too long for her to think about waiting in, so she turns to the stairwell inside. It was only three floors up, and she could use the exercise anyway. She's already a few minutes late to meet them all anyway, the wait wouldn't be worth it.
Would she meet her detail today? Her bodyguard? She really should've asked Alban to expand on his vague "I've taken care of it" this morning...
The hallway she ends up in stretches the expanse of the room, widening into a larger floor plan overlooking the rest of the city. A break room of some sort? Confused, one glance at the floor directory hung up next to her answers her question.
Wrong floor.
Clicking her tongue, she turns to go back into the stairwell when the hair on the back of her neck stands up, and a chill shivers down her spine. It's the same feeling of being watched, the feeling that's made her triple-check her locks at night and lose precious hours of sleep trying to convince herself that she was safe.
There's nobody else in the hallway, not a soul passing by. The distant voices and noises indicate whoever's occupying the floor is in the offices farther in, but nowhere near her...
Faltering, she takes a few hesitant steps into the nearest room. An office of some sort.
The feeling remains, stronger than ever. Goosebumps prickle her flesh, her teeth worry her lower lip. This is stupid, this entire thing was stupid! It's an empty room...
"I know you're there!" The words pass her lips before she can stop them, fuelled by frustration and fear. Her own eyes widen at her words, but she doesn't take them back. No, she's commited to it now. Clenching her fists to hide the trembling of her hands, she turns around in a small circle trying to find the source of her discomfort. "This isn't funny, it's fucking creepy! Just leave me the hell alone!"
Maybe it's a trick of paranoia and the light but she swears she sees a shadow move out of the corner of her eye, and it startles her so bad she bumps into the desk behind her, clutching it so hard her knuckles go white.
Her heart is in her throat when the door creaks open.
This felt like a fucking horror movie. 'I've never been in one of those before', she thinks a little hysterically. 'Don't think I'll ever have the chance to after this.' Maybe it was a random employee who'd forgotten something in the office, she tries to reason with herself, or Alban coming to see what's taking her so long-
She screams when a tall man in a balaclava peers through the door, a hand fixed on the pistol on his belt.
Blindly grabbing onto a stapler, she throws it at him and scrambles to put the desk in between them. "Leave me alone!" She yells, wielding the keyboard like it might protect her from him and his firearm.
The man catches the stapler and gives her a rather unimpressed look.
He was clearly fucking insane, she thinks. Batshit crazy, stalking her down in an office building in broad daylight with a mask. The cool glass of a window touches her back and she swallows, glancing behind her. Four stories up, but if he made a move to grab her would she have enough time to unlatch the window and climb out? Did she even want to risk breaking her legs?
"It's a shitty idea."
The voice is smooth gravel, the grit of the sand on a clear beach.
"Who are you?" She narrows her eyes, fingers playing with the latch. "Why do you keep following me?"
"It's my job." He deadpans, and it makes her hesitate to jump to her idea of trying to escape the situation.
"...what?"
He loosens a sigh from his chest, and tugs out the manilla folder she hadn't seen tucked under his arm before. She tenses when he takes a step forward, tossing it on the desk. A couple of documents spill out, and she catches bits and pieces until her eyes land on the logo sealed at the top of the folder.
Her eyes flicker back to him and spot the same logo patched onto his jacket.
Last night comes back to her in a rush, the hurried explaination she was given.
Task Force 141.
A security company known throughout the country as being the best of the best. Being ex-military, they took care of messy situations in ways that didn't reflect poorly on anyone, kept their means and methods unknown but their clients happy. Alban had given her an overview of the company a while ago after the photographs of her had started to arrive.
"Screaming your head off like that, jumping out a four-story window? Bloody hell, no wonder you need a babysitter."
Any lingering fear snaps to irritation. "I don't need a babysitter, I need someone who's not going to scare the shit out of me." Still a little shaky, she lets go of the window. "Alban hired you?"
"Clearly." His dry tone makes her bristle. He'd just scared the hell out of her, her being a little jarred is perfectly understandable. "Sent me to see what the hold up was." He jerks his chin towards the documents. "Needs your signature, then I'm yours until your issue blows over."
Him? He was her on her private detail? Her bodyguard?
She expected someone in a suit with an earpiece, simple and subtle, something akin to the usual security that surrounds her at her venues. Fitting in was important, after all. The less she was noticed the safer she'd be.
Given that, the 6'3 man with the large, strong stature definitely had taken her aback, but his face was the thing that freaked her out the most, the mask making her mind flash to every horror movie she'd ever seen.
A black balaclava covers his lower face and tucks itself into the collar of the all-black suit he dons. The fabric's printed with the bottom half of a white...skull? Puzzled, she gives him a once over, wondering how someone this...intimidating could possibly be inconspicuous. He holds himself with a rigidity she's only ever seen in someone who holds discipline to a high standard, shoulder back, eyes brown and piercing in a way that makes her feel oddly vulnerable.
She nods slowly, picking up a pen from one of the holders, willing her heart to stop pounding from the lingering adrenaline. "I'm pretty sure you know an awkward amount about me already." She skims over the paperwork quickly. "But what do I call you?"
Life had taught her the hard way never to blindly sign a document.
"Ghost." She pauses, blinking up at him. He doesn't look like he's joking, and after a beat of silence her lips quirk up to a half amused smile.
"Ghost?" She cocks her head. "Like the things that haunt houses? That's your name?"
"Afirmative." He retorts.
"But that's a nickname, I don't think your parents would have named you Ghost." That was just unnecessarily cruel. He'd have gotten bullied at school with a name like that. "What's your name name?"
"Ghost is enough of a name for you. I'm here to keep you alive, not have a heart to heart, yeah?"
Okay. So he wasn't the warmest person she'd met.
"You're off to a great start, nearly pushing me out a window." She mumbles under her breath going back to reading.
"It was your hand I recall being on the latch."
At the flourish of her pen, her signature settling next to his and Alban's, some of the weight on her shoulders settles into something slightly more bearable. Things would be easier for her hopefully.
She could admit that although he was gruff and not the friendliest, he was certainly intimidating. By the way his eyes flicker around the room every now and then, he was perceptive too. Despite their rocky start, she already felt like someone was watching her back.
"Anything else I need to sign?"
He doesn't respond, shifting in place instead, eyebrows furrowed. It makes her uneasy, his sudden change in posture. Muscles tensing, his sights land somewhere behind her and he suddenly moves to grab her before she can register it.
A crash of glass echoes through the room as the window opposite to them shatters.
She can barely let out a shriek before Ghost has her against a wall, shielding her body with his, pressing close enough for him to feel the way her heart hammers in her chest.
Sandalwood and smoke, she can't help but note as she draws in a shaky breath. He's built well, all strong muscle and capable hands that crowd her back. Her breath hitches for a completely different reason.
"You alright?" He grunts out, peering over his shoulder. It's sharp, the way his gaze flickers from the shards of glass to the bolt embedded in the wall a metre away from where she'd been.
Right where Ghost had been standing.
"Fine," She manages, looking between him and the bolt in the wall with a cold sinking in her stomach. "I-...you're bleeding!" She exclaims, reaching up to tilt his face to the side, a splotch of red seeping through his mask. Before she can make contact, he steps away from her leaving her hand hovering in the air.
It shatters the brief moment from before, the breath she couldn't catch loosens from her chest.
She feels like she looks a little stupid with her hand hovering like that and, the back of her neck going warm as she clears her throat. "Your cheek." She says aloud after a moment. There's a small cut where the projectile had grazed him, bleeding sluggishly.
Ghost doesn't pay her any mind as he yanks the bolt out of the wall, cement cracking onto the floor. Turning it this way and that, she finds enough feeling in her legs to move towards him-
"Stay there." He orders, and the authority lacing the words stuns her into compliance. "Away from the windows."
She certainly sees how he's ex-military now, that he's used to his orders being obeyed.
Ghost turns around eventually, brow furrowed and she finally has a clear view of the item.
A white rose is twined around the bolt, the petals speckled with red dots. A drop of crimson drips onto the floor by his feet and she realises that the colouring isn't from the flower itself.
It's Ghost's blood, tainting the purity of something so delicate weaved with an intentional threat.
He was here.
In her house, on her mind, in her workplace, God, he was in her workplace now. Her breath stutters as she tries to take a deep one, panic she refuses to let loose in front of him clawing at her chest. So she was right, someone had bee watching her. It hadn't been him, it had been her stalker that had made her wary.
This was new. She'd never had actual contact with the guy before, her nightmares had been restricted to words scrawled onto a page. Judging by the bolt's direction, the man was probably in the building opposite.
Ghost barks something into a radio connected to his belt, sharp eyes sweeping the room, narrowing at the window across, cautious and confident.
He's an ass, they haven't started on the right foot but she doesn't want to see him dead. What if the next 'threat' hit true? What if she had to stand there and watch his head trickle crimson, watch that strong body hit the floor with a lifeless-
"I don't think this is a good idea." She blurts out, frightened by the thought. Nobody needed to get hurt but her, was expanding this...this horrid torment onto other people really worth it?
When he doesn't answer, she pushes on. "It's...you could get hurt. Or killed." A shaky inhale. "And I don't want-"
"Your concern won't void my contract. I've survived worse." He cuts her off, peering out of the window. She swears she spots the barest bit of amusement in his dead stare when he glances back at her. "You're too exposed in the open. We're going to your residence, my team's already secured it, set up a perimeter."
And she can't find it in herself to protest when he ushers her out of her room taking care to shield her from the windows.
Glancing up at the blood seeping through his mask, the unease from last night creeps back into her heart. What would have happened if Ghost hadn't been there? Would she have been the target instead? Would she be...Alban was right, it was stupid to think that this would stop on its own.
Hope was a fool's playground.
Ghost notices the sudden tense silence, casts down a long glance as they enter the elevator together, strangely free from the mass of people earlier.
"You're safe now."
She looks up in surprise, but he's already shifted his gaze to stare at the metal doors in front of them. Safe. How long has it been since she's felt safe?
Miraculously, she finds herself nodding. Finds herself trusting. Trusting this man she just met a few minutes ago. It's strange, but she lets his reassurance wash over her, her shoulders dropping down ever so slightly.
It seems enough to satisfy him, because he doesn't comment again.
Safety.
What a luxury she'd taken for granted.
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(1/12/2023)
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