#strength and power alone isn’t enough to save the people closest to you

[lavenderjewels]

me ranting to myself in my head about how yuuji is a good character

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Don't let certain people convince you into believing you don't deserve to be alive

I think spring has finally arrived and is here to stay. As much as I enjoy being a homebody, the rain and light snow was starting to get to me. The rain I don’t mind so much, it’s the cold and unpredictable weather that’s the problem. Weather’s looking clear for the next week so hopefully it’ll stay that way.

Yesterday and today have been good, tomorrow looks the same. Had it been raining and too cold, collecting gyroids wouldn’t be fun. And it would be a bummer too, especially since Raiden and Qingmei got Kayo, Maki, and Ari out here to spend some time getting lost in nature.

Kayo and Maki have been following Raiden and Qingmei’s footsteps by becoming an adventuring duo, taking on the world by storm. Maki travels a lot for missions so Kayo tags along whenever she can, especially when Kamo isn’t available. Every once in a while both groups meet up - Raiden claims it’s a coincidence and while she might be right, I have a feeling that she isn’t quite ready to leave her two protégées alone for too long even though they’re grown now.

Maki hasn’t had a chance to check back up on Kanna, but so far there’s little to no change last she heard. Because of the fog there’s no predicting when it’ll be safe to travel. Although she and Kamo successfully dealt with some of the dangers, they said it’ll take a long time before they see any real change, if any. The biggest threat was the fog, which was a result of cursed energy, so at least that matter has been addressed. There’s still a lot of mysteries about Kanna that have yet to be uncovered - whether or not we find answers remains to be seen.

Kayo spent a couple days visiting Atsushi and Himeko at Summersands before tagging along with Maki for a mission in Waterfall, where they stayed overnight. Then they went back to Taimani to meet up with Raiden, Qingmei, and Ari and go to the camp.

The invitation was for the Skylight Dusk Agency as Raiden felt that they were long overdue for a retreat but seeing that they’re short-handed, the timing just isn’t right. At least Ari was able to tag along, mainly because she’s on extended medical leave, and she’s regained her strength enough to travel. She’s not 100% yet - and will not be for a long while - but she says she’s getting better and taking it slow.

Raiden and Kayo introduced me to the agency when I visited Tangwei last year. Not much has changed, except that things are even tighter now that Ari’s out of commission. They’re already a small team to begin with and it’s not like they can go out and recruit people. After all, the agency pretty much came together because they were all lost and had nowhere to turn to after being exploited for their powers. The last time they had a new recruit was Lucy - an ability user who wanted to start over after her previous living arrangements fell through - and she was killed in the Great Calamity along with Amane and Kun. Since then those vacancies have remained empty.

Ari suspects that part of the reason why there hasn’t been any new recruits is probably one of those self-fulfilling prophecy type of thing. As in the agency - specifically the President - never really got over the losses so they never really tried to find anyone. To be fair, they have some pretty big shoes to fill, so I can’t blame them for being hesitant.

Out of the three, Ari was the closest to Amane, who she considered her big brother. After all, he was the one who saved her life multiple times when she was at her lowest. In return, she got his back and saved him an equal number of times - well, almost. She said that she’d be lying if she said that time’s made things easier. It’s not like she’s stuck in the past or anything, she’s been through enough losses in her life to understand that some things will leave scars and she’s accepted that.

Ari - like everyone else at the agency - had it pretty rough growing up. She initially had an ordinary childhood, that is, for someone whose parents were allegedly assassins. After they were murdered, she was taken in by some mafia group that took advantage of the fact that she wields a timepiece and is highly skilled with a blade. Considering that the city’s by the ocean, someone with the ability to control the tides would be seen as a valuable weapon. So they trained her to be an assassin and that does wonders for a young kid’s mental health.

In a short time, Ari became known as an angel of death and she quickly lost track of the number of lives she was forced to take. Then she was tasked to blow up a train station, where she met Amane and Sayo. At the time Amane had just been taken in by the agency so he was struggling to get the situation under control.

Something about seeing him, a guy not that much older than her cracking under pressure and trying frantically to stop her - that was when she realized that she had enough. So she told him who she was and that she didn’t want to kill any more people. And then she jumped off the train with the bomb attached to her, bracing herself for the end. Except it never came. Amane jumped in after her, tore off the explosives just as they went off, and managed to get her to safety. Next thing she knew, she woke up with Amane and Sayo by her bedside.

Although the agency took her in, it took Ari a while for her to truly feel like she belonged. Obviously the others were initially wary of her and in return she closed herself off because she didn’t want to be a burden on them. Amane was the one who managed to get her out of her shell, probably because he saw a lot of himself in her. It wasn’t until he took Ari in when he slowly became more confident and self assured about himself.

Raiden once said that Amane was full of untapped potential. He had it rough, being raised in an orphanage where he was emotionally abused by his caretakers. When his dragon powers fully emerged, he was forced to live in the streets where he almost died if he hadn’t run into Tai. Amane was initially reluctant about letting the agency take him in because he didn’t think he deserved to be there, so Tai managed to convince him in his own way that he belonged there.

Over time, Amane became a hero to the city, putting him the same rank as the other agency members. After taking Ari under his wing, he helped Lucy get back on her feet after the Association fell, which was something he played a major role in. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that he was the same guy who was down on his luck whose life seems to scream woe is me. To think what kind of a person he would’ve grown into today if he was still here - it’s hard to believe that it’s almost at the point where he’s been dead longer than he was part of the agency.

As much as Raiden hates to say it, if it weren’t for the agency, no one would’ve taken Amane in. You can’t blame him for looking down on himself so much that he’s too afraid to do anything. Sakura had been the one who wasn’t afraid to give him a good shake when he spiraled. She wasn’t just being firm, she was also speaking from experience.

It can’t have been easy trying to get through the day when most people in your life are constantly trying to hammer it in that you don’t deserve to be alive. No matter what you say or do, you can’t seem to win because they’ll always find something to criticize. And for people like Sakura, Amane, and Ari, their unusual life circumstances make it a living hell.

Although her mafia days are long behind her, Ari admits that her past still haunts her from time to time. Part of it’s due to survivor’s guilt considering that out of the three she’s the only one still alive and kicking. She’s not exaggerating when she says that only Sakura and Amane truly understood her struggles, an ongoing battle they’ll have to live with for the rest of their lives.

Like everyone else who survived, Ari didn’t really make it out of the disaster in one piece. Along with the mental trauma, she also lost both of her legs, barely surviving if it wasn’t for Sayo. As soon as she got her prosthetics, she jumped back up, probably a bit too soon in retrospect. While she wasn’t wallowing in sorrow, she didn’t really give herself time to process things, and maybe that’s why she ended up crashing a couple years later.

Right now Ari’s in the process of recovering after a long illness. For the past year she had been really feeling the burnout, but being stubborn, she thought she could push through it. Qingmei once said Ari’s tenacity can either be her greatest asset or worst enemy. Sometimes it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. One minute you think you’re fine, then it all comes crashing down and you wonder, where did it go wrong?

Not too long after my visit to Tangwei, Ari took on a case outside the city that didn’t go so well. The President strongly advised her not to take the job after a quick background check showed some questionable stuff, which was why no one would accept it in the first place. For whatever reason she went out and instantly regretted it.

Long story short, everything went wrong in the worst possible way. To make matters worse, a couple months later Ari came down with what she thought was a cold. A few weeks passed and not only she was still sick, she was getting worse. As it turns out she contracted tuberculosis as there apparently was an epidemic going on. Luckily, her case was easily treatable and no one else got sick, which was what she was worried about the most.

Although there are meds and she has a pretty high chance of being completely cured, treatment’s a long process because it takes months. Also there’s a lot of pills Ari has to take so Sayo helped her make sure that she took all her meds on time. It’s been almost a month since she finished treatment and everything seems to be good. Now all she needs to do is take it slow and recover her strength.

With all the downtime Ari suddenly had while ill, she said it finally forced her to reevaluate some things. Some she’s figured out, others she needs more time to understand. A lot of her unresolved feelings had to do with the calamity. For a while she was kinda out of it and during those times she kept wishing that Sakura and Amane were at her bedside. Being sick really does things to your brain, all your thoughts kinda go out of whack.

Ari was like “Well, that fucking great,” but at the same time she was like “But if you’re gonna crash now, might as well get it out now.” Again not so much wallowing in grief, more like I can’t keep on pretending everything’s good when it’s a mess, if I don’t deal with this shit now it’s gonna bite me in the ass later kind of thing.

I get what she’s saying. You’re allowed to get upset and grieve as long as you don’t let that consume you. Amane once fell into that spiral of letting negativity and self doubt stop him from living. I can’t imagine it was easy, and he did need a good shake once in a while, but he managed to pull himself out of that unhealthy cycle. Sakura also got trapped in that spiral and she was fortunate to be around people who care for her and called her out when she was cruel to herself.

Sometimes you can get so caught up on hating yourself that you don’t always realize that what you’re doing to yourself makes those around you uncomfortable. That’s not to say that you’re not allowed to feel like that - believe me, if it were that easy, we wouldn’t be having those problems, would we? - but you also have to consider that we don’t live in a vacuum. It’s also that self-fulfilling prophecy thing - if you’re stuck in negativity, that’s all you’re gonna bring.

Yes it sucks being told that you don’t deserve to be alive, or happy, or you’re worthless and shit. And yes it does a number on your self esteem and confidence - it fucking hurts, right? I know it isn’t easy but at some point you have to stand up and say fuck it, I’m gonna live out of spite because I’m here and life won’t wait for me.

Obviously that won’t be an easy fix but sometimes you gotta push yourself or else you’ll get stuck. That’s how Sakura lived her life - that’s not to say that she had her struggles, she certainly did until the end - but she had the strength to pull herself together and get on with it. And that was how she got through to Amane - that’s not to say that Tai didn’t do much as his mentor but there were some things he didn’t have the emotional maturity to handle. If Amane hadn’t started standing up for himself, he wouldn’t have been able to help Ari, who wouldn’t be here today. If it wasn’t the bombs, Ari would’ve ended up dead another way, either disposed of or by her own hand.

Ever since that day, Ari always wondered, why did she survive and the others didn’t? It’s one of those questions where there really isn’t answer so there’s no point in trying to figure it out. Also, she mentioned that she made the mistake of googling about TB and while that didn’t exactly make her morbid, it kinda scared her to the point where she got a little paranoid. At her worst, she said for a very brief moment, she thought she’d better get her affairs in order in case of that very slight chance something goes wrong.

Maki and Kayo were surprised to hear that from her as they thought that nothing could really phase her. She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’s prone to being overdramatic but again, when you’re sick your mind tends to mess with you. I mean she said that TB was just as unpleasant as it sounds so I can’t blame her. Thank you, modern medicine.

Often times it feels like we’re grasping in the dark, but then you manage to grab hold of something and you can’t seem to let go. A little kindness can go a long way, and maybe even save someone’s life. I don’t think I can be a rock, but I’ll try to reach out and hopefully not let go until we’re safe.

Heavy stuff aside, it feels nice to be under the sun again, even if for a short time. We would’ve set up a picnic but the ground’s still kinda damp so that’ll have to be put off until later. As long as it doesn’t get too cold for the next few nights, I think we’ll be able to have a picnic at Breezy Hollow. The weather app says sunny with some clouds so it better stay that way!

Kayo’s always full of energy so she’s eager to explore as much of the camp as she can, but she doesn’t feel confident enough to go off on her own. Besides, she says that she’s not really up for a hike anyway - none of us are, to tell the truth, plus Ari and Qingmei can’t do too much strenuous activity. That’s part of the reason why we’ve kinda slacked on finding gyroids, which is fine, especially since the stuff we’re crafting don’t need too many materials. Just enjoying the sun is more than enough.

Read on AO3

[kacchananti]

Bakugo’s apology & The Speech — thoughts on ch. 322-325

The way this panel was set up really speaks volumes about how the next few chapters played out. It’s obvious these three were meant to have the biggest impact on Deku returning to UA and realizing he was in the wrong for what he was doing. It makes sense, considering all three of them are Deku’s closest people in a way -- Uraraka and Iida, who were his first real friends and allies at UA, and Bakugo, who’s always been one of the most important people to Deku and his longest friend.

First we have Uraraka, who’s front and center in the panel -- she’s the closest one out of all three of them, which makes sense considering the speech she delivered that moved not only Deku but the civilians as well, and that will more than likely be a catalyst in how the civilians see heroes and the sacrifices Deku made for everyone at his own cost. 

Her speech also delivered a very important message to Deku himself, and that is that he himself is not special, but the power he wields is what’s special. By saying that, Uraraka meant to emphasize that no one person can carry such a heavy burden like Deku was trying to do, because no one person is special enough to be able to do everything alone.

Next there’s Iida, who’s more in the background of the panel because he had a ‘smaller’ role in getting Deku back, but it was just as impactful. Iida’s words to Deku were a direct callback to what Deku said before they fought Stain. Back then, Deku told Iida that they were friends so they should count on each other and depend on each other for help when they need it -- he basically told him not to carry the burden of of what happened to his brother by himself. 

When he later came to rescure him from Stain, Deku also told Iida that being a hero meant giving help that wasn’t asked for. Those words clearly made a big impression on Iida and stuck with him and changed how he viewed himself as a hero. 

By repeating those words to Deku, Iida connected their current situation to a previous one where their roles were reversed, and that’s why Iida’s words had the impact they did on Deku. Because back then, Deku was the one who had a huge impact on Iida and ultimately being told what a big difference his words had on his friend is what also showed Deku that he did matter to people and it was important for them to do this thing together. 

The way Bakugo is positioned in the panel is interesting. Uraraka was placed closest in the panel, so she was closest to the reader’s point of view, but Bakugo is leaning forward, which means he was technically closest to Deku. i say this is interesting because I’m sure it was deliberate -- from Deku’s pov Bakugo ended up being the closest, and his impact in this situation was the biggest. 

After so much hardship their relationship faced, from being friends to being estranged, to rivals and finally back to friends, Deku finally go an apology from Bakugo for everything that happened between them. 

The reason Bakugo’s apology was so impactful as well is because, just like Iida’s words to Deku, it was a callback to a lot very personal moments to Deku and to their relationship. Bakugo began his speech by telling Deku how he had a “my body moved on its own” moment when they fought Shigaraki, something he didn’t get to tell him before Deku left UA. He wanted to tell him that he reacted instinctively to save Deku, just like Deku did for him all those months ago. 

We already know Bakugo’s sacrifice parallels Deku’s from chapter one, so that was a really big moment for both of them and for their relationship. 

He goes on and tells Deku what we already learned in ch284, that he always looked down on him but it was really just his own weaknesses that he was forced to face, as well as Deku’s strengths that made him feel inferior. This is something Bakugo has been carrying for a long time but he never told Deku he felt that way. 

Up until this very moment, Deku had no idea that Bakugo was threatened by him or jealous of him and that was the real reason he pushed him away. In the end, Bakugo closes his speech by saying that saving people is how they win against their enemies, verbalizing the fact that he realized his own ideals about winning to save were wrong, and that what they should be doing was saving people in order to win, which was what Izuku admired in All Might. 

Those words probably hit hardest for Deku because in that moment Bakugo wasn’t just saying he’s sorry, he was telling Deku that he was on his side, he would fight by his side. This quote is a callback to dvk2, when All Might told them that together they could be the greatest heroes, and Bakugo’s words here are confirmation of that and an invitation for them to fight together and win. 

That was the moment when Deku truly and fully realized that he did need to fight with the others by his side, that he couldn’t do it on his own because without Bakugo -- without everyone else, too -- he couldn’t be the greatest hero who saves everyone and wins. 

Now you might think that Bakugo’s apology wasn’t actually that impactful, since Deku hasn’t reacted to it or even addressed Bakugo after it, and with both Iida’s and Uraraka’s speeches he’s had a very emotional reaction. But the reason he hasn’t reacted to Bakugo’s speech isn’t because he doesn’t care -- it’s because he cares too much. 

Keep in mind that Bakugo was the most hurt out of everyone when Deku left the school, because Deku didn’t just go out recklessly on his own, but he also left Bakugo behind. Bakugo was the only one up until that point who knew about ofa, who was helping Deku train his quirk and who was fully in on the secret with him and All Might. When Deku left, everyone was worried, but Bakugo was betrayed. And it’s likely that Deku knows this, which is why it’s probably hard for him to fully focus on Bakugo right now. There’s a lot of things still unresolved between them, a lot of things they both still need to say. 

But I’m positive we’ll get Deku’s reaction to Bakugo’s apology soon, and it’ll probably be the most emotional moment they’ve had yet and I for one can’t wait to see that conversation. 

[vhenanshiral]

On the Topic of Seiya Kou.

This is a Sailor Moon post rather than a Dragon Age post. Shocker, I know, but Sailor Moon is another one of my loves. This will focus on the 90s anime adaptation of the manga. So do not come at me with “but in the manga,” because the 90s adaptation and the manga were incredibly different in multiple ways. Seiya will be referred to as she/her because the male form was a disguise. That being said, any interpretation of Seiya’s gender is valid and I love them all! Anyway. I see a lot of shit talking about Seiya and it’s honestly ... super tiring. So many of the “negative” points against Seiya are misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misrepresented for the sake of making her look like a dumpster fire. 1. “Seiya is creepy towards Usagi and stalks her.” Except ... she doesn’t. They meet by accident numerous times, and in fact Usagi even seeks Seiya out. They develop a friendship, and it’s normal and natural for friends to seek each other out. Usagi and the girls actually, literally stalk the Three Lights more than once during the season. 2. “Seiya thinks Usagi is weak because she told Mamoru to take care of her when they left.” This honestly makes no sense to me. It is repeatedly shown that Seiya admires Usagi’s strength, both as Usagi and as Sailor Moon. It is natural to want the people you love to be protected, and that does not mean that you think they’re weak and incapable of protecting themselves. Seiya knew Usagi was capable and strong because she had seen her demonstrate these traits multiple times. Throughout the season, Seiya repeatedly lifts Usagi up with her confidence in her capabilities. This is even before she knows she is Sailor Moon. Let’s not forget that when Galaxia kills all of the Inners, they ask the Starlights to protect Sailor Moon, so saying that Seiya telling Mamoru to take care of her means she thinks she is weak ... that must mean everyone else thinks she is too, right? It’s absurd. 3. “Seiya can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, always hits on her, and is constantly pressuring her into a relationship.” It is true that Seiya repeatedly quips about “having a chance” with Usagi. It’s also true that Usagi repeatedly reminds Seiya that she has a boyfriend. But it isn’t true that Seiya repeatedly attempts to coerce her into a relationship. It also isn’t true that she does it all the time. While she shouldn’t have done it even more than once (when she was unaware of Usagi’s relationship status,) it’s obvious from the context that she isn’t being serious. Seiya repeatedly making quips is an issue, and while those kinds of situations can and often do mean someone is being a “Nice Guy,” a predator, an abuser, etc., we know from everything that we see that it is not the case with Seiya. Let’s take the “date,” for an example: Seiya throws it out there (literally, just time and place and walks off) and Usagi willingly shows up the next day and is even irritated that Seiya is late. Usagi is not forced or coerced into the date; she retains all of the power regarding whether or not she shows up. She would not have gone if she didn’t want to. Actually, let’s look at these instances of Seiya hitting/making a move on Usagi. - In the “date” episode, Usagi thinks that Seiya is going to make a move on her. Some suggest that Usagi thinks she is going to kiss her, but the language, Usagi’s expressions, and her reaction to the truth seem to imply that she thinks Seiya is suggesting something more intimate. - In the episode with the beach monster when Chibi Chibi opens up the door and pushes Seiya over on to Usagi, Usagi is the one who, again, assumes Seiya is up to No Good, despite it being a complete accident and innocent on Seiya’s part. - In the episode where Seiya spends the night at Usagi’s because she’s alone and Seiya very nearly confesses who she is to Usagi while they’re in her bedroom, it is Usagi who believes that Seiya is going to confess to having a crush on her. - Later in that same episode, when they are hiding in the cabinet and Seiya again thinks about confessing her true identity to her, it is Usagi who thinks Seiya is about to suggest something intimate. In fact, throughout the season, it is everyone from Usagi, to the other girls, to single-episode characters, to even Luna who think that Seiya is going to suggest or attempt illicit activities with Usagi, and not Seiya. It is all but explicitly stated that Usagi is attracted to Seiya. Not just because of the implications of her assumptions, but also because she is scolded over it. In fact, Rei tells her that she needs to sort her feelings out. Haruka and Michiru forbid her from seeing Seiya because she has Mamoru. She may not love Seiya the same way, but she is attracted to her and she does love her (and Usagi being attracted to other people is not a new thing.) Let’s look at the softball episode, because it’s ... pretty problematic and people often point to it as being one of the episodes that paint Seiya as some creepy stalker who can’t just take a hint and tells everyone that Usagi is her girlfriend. It is Rei who thinks that Seiya training Usagi in softball is inappropriate (let’s remember that it is Ami who thinks that something illicit is going on with Seiya and Usagi in the bodyguard episode...) because Mamoru is Usagi’s boyfriend, not Seiya. It is Sonoko who insists that Seiya’s “relationship” with Usagi isn’t acceptable, and it is her that places the bet that if Seiya’s team loses, she’s not to associate with Usagi anymore. Seiya agrees because she’s competitive, hates to lose, has confidence in herself and Usagi, and knows that Sonoko is wrong. When Usagi tries to interject about the actual nature of their relationship (that they’re not dating,) it’s the girls who shush her because they’re expecting Seiya’s team to lose and that will give them the opportunity to make Seiya feel better. I want to touch on the “Seiya knows Sonoko is wrong” part. I think what a lot of people don’t think about is that when Sonoko placed this bet and openly stated her disapproval of Seiya spending time with Usagi, Sonoko was attacking Usagi’s worth as a person. She was openly saying that Usagi wasn’t good enough to be hanging out with Seiya in any capacity. Seiya took issue with this because she obviously believes and knows differently. She values Usagi as a person. Who is Sonoko to decide who is and isn’t good enough to spend time with her? Seiya is not approaching the situation with entirely selfish motives, unlike the girls who fed into the Seiya/Usagi romance for the hopeful eventuality of them being able to comfort Seiya after a loss when she’ll be forced to stop hanging out with Usagi. She uses this situation to help bolster Usagi’s confidence in herself. That doesn’t change the fact that the bet is stupid to begin with, but it is what it is. Oh, additionally ... Seiya doesn’t tell the school that she and Usagi are dating. Them dating is an assumption that Seiya simply doesn’t correct. It’s worth noting that if she did correct that assumption, it would feed into Sonoko’s declaration that Usagi isn’t good enough to be with Seiya. 4. “Seiya tried to make the rooftop scene about herself and used it as a way to try to take Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life.” This whole entire scene is consistently misinterpreted and has all of the context ripped from it, because that is not what that scene is. No, it 100% was not the best time for Seiya to ask that question (and no, it is not “can I take his place?” that she says,) but people tend to forget that Usagi is not the only vulnerable person in this scene and it isn’t just about her. It is Seiya who triggers Usagi’s emotional breakdown on accident, and in these moments she is watching the person she loves crumble into pieces. The rooftop scene is about both of them and the context makes that clear. Up until this point, the only person who knew that Mamoru wasn’t keeping in contact with Usagi was Seiya. None of the girls knew, none of them. Imagine the amount of trust Usagi had to have in Seiya in order to share that incredibly sensitive information with her and with no one else, not even her closest friends. Usagi had told Seiya a whole 13 episodes before this one, and since finding out Seiya tried her best to make Usagi happy and to keep her mind busy. It isn’t until a few episodes after this that everyone including Seiya finds out that Mamoru is dead. So Seiya spends all of this time believing that Mamoru ditched Usagi when he moved overseas and that he’s a horrible boyfriend who obviously doesn’t care about Usagi. This is naturally hurtful to Seiya, who grows to genuinely like and love Usagi through the season. She cares for her and doesn’t want to see her in pain, which is why she does her best to help Usagi feel less alone. There is no point in the season where Seiya’s intentions are to maliciously shove herself into Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life. She has no idea who Tuxedo Mask is. She had no idea that throwing the red rose - her own personal trademark - was going to trigger such an emotional response from Usagi. So here they both are on this rooftop in the middle of the pouring rain. Usagi’s breaking down over how alone she feels, and Seiya’s suddenly faced with the realization that not only did she cause this breakdown, everything she had been trying to do to help her wasn’t working and she failed again. She couldn’t save her system/planets, 99.9% of her people are literally dead because she wasn’t strong enough to save them, and she and the other two members of her team had no idea where their princess was or even if she was okay until the episode before this one. Immediately after the destruction of everything they knew, the Starlights had to flee to an alien planet with alien people, disguise themselves, and pander to a bunch of complete strangers that salivated over, stalked, and harassed them, all while searching for their princess  and fighting the minions of the person who ctrl+a ctrl+x’ed their home system. She had no time to process any of the unimaginable loss and failure she had suffered through. When people talk about the rooftop scene and about how Seiya “makes it about herself,” this is everything they’re forgetting. When Seiya is asking Usagi if she isn’t good enough, it isn’t Seiya trying to weasel her way in, it’s Seiya both coping with her own numerous losses and trying to remind Usagi that she’s there for her. In the end, Seiya is the one that Usagi credits with being able to get herself through everything she was dealing with.

[allmightluver]

So, what is your take on the EM relationship? Who was the one to fall first and confess? Please support your speculations/opinions with canonical evident, if you'd like 😏 (BECAUSE YOU'RE SO DAMN GOOD AT IT ❤️) Thank you for your time 🙏

Oh goodness

You really want me to go all out huh Kunshi 😏

Well, I’ll try to summarize this as best I can ***(This may have some spoilers so be warned)**

The relationship between All Might and Eraserhead has been quite the journey. You can say, frenemies to “hey you’re not so bad”. They’ve known of each other for years, before the present timeline. Here in Vigilante’s, Eraserhead tells Tsukauchi that the situation they’re in is so dire, they need the Number 1. Aizawa acknowledges how powerful All Might is, despite disapproving of how handles media and fame.

But they didn’t really know each other until All Might started at UA. 

Aizawa believed Yagi to be reckless, irresponsible, and foolish in taking a job he has no training for. Not to mention the obvious favoritism. Yagi believed Aizawa to be too harsh and cold hearted on the children. Though as the two got to know each other, and went through traumatic events together (USJ and Kamino), they started to warm up more to each other, actually taking the time to get to know one another. 

All Might rushes to an injured Aizawa’s side, and the sight of how broken, bloodied and damaged his co-worker is visibly upsets him. The way Toshinori’s voice softens as he apologizes to Aizawa, unclear if it’s out loud or in his mind. Toshinori probably feels terrible whenever anyone’s been injured, but he seems particularly held up over Aizawa, most likely because he himself couldn’t be there when it happened. He was of being a hero all morning, and wasted all his time in his muscle form, so he wasn’t there with them like he should have been. Which meant Aizawa and (Thirteen) had to fight to protect the students, even if they were clearly unmatched. They were both badly injured in the process, all because Toshinori wasn’t there.

Then after the fight, Toshinori cuts his friend, Tsukauchi, off and asks how Aizawa, wait, Eraserhead, is doing. Oh and Thirteen too. He was relieved to find he they were alright.

When Kamino hit we see how intently Aizawa watches the news, watches All Might, watches Toshinori. He was clearly concerned, and in seeing AFO summon his many quirks in order to eliminate All Might once and for all, Aizawa’s concern only grows. And for good reason.

As an after effect, the students needed to move into dorms. Aizawa and Toshinori are paired together to speak to 1A’s students. It’s in the car that Aizawa, awkwardly, offers to buy Toshinori a drink. To which Toshinori politely declines, as he can’t drink. (*face palm*) 

However, after dealing with Bakugo’s...different family, Toshinori nudges Aizawa with an elbow his injured arm no less, and whispers that he now owes Aizawa a drink. 

Dunno about you, but I’d have to be pretty comfortable with someone before I’m close enough to nudge them and whisper secrets. And Toshinori is always seeking to know Aizawa better, be closer, impress him.

They even go out on a date to get a drink together.  Toshinori’s inner dialogue is the most interesting, from “I’m going to be even better friends with Aizawa-kun...!” to “All Might, you just gotta push past the walls of Aizawa-kun’s heart!” ...uh huh. To which Mic and Midnight totally crash their “Secret Dinner Outing” and invite themselves to stay, much to Toshinori’s (”Or on second thought...probably not then.”) and Aizawa’s despair (”Go home!” x3). Get outta here, you’re ruining our date!  And after Toshinori takes his leave, Aizawa chases him down outside to say....? “Thank you very much. I’m drunk right now so I probably wouldn’t say this if I wasn’t. But because you fought at Kamino and took down AFO for us, I’ll do my part and look after the students as much as I can. That’s why I want to thank you for everything.” To which after a silence, Toshinori responds with, “Aizawa-kun, let’s watch over the students from here on out together.” ...to which Aizawa mentions he won’t remember any of this and to never bring it up ever again.  (*repeat face palm*)

This only proves they’re becoming much, much, closer. They’ve gone beyond plus ultra frenemies and onto true friends. They take each other’s words and thoughts into account in a serious manner, like how Yagi managed to convince Aizawa to let him go to Bakugo and Midoriya when they snuck out, as well as going easy on punishment for them.

Aizawa’s also shown growing concern for Toshinori after his retirement. Firstly from seeing Toshinori out and about so soon after Kamino while he was still recovering from his injuries. And on the occasion a falling rock nearly connects to Toshinori’s head, you can see how quickly Aizawa reacts. The way you can almost see a flashback of his childhood friend’s unfortunate death running through his head as he tries to save Toshinori from the same fate. Once Midoriya saves Toshinori, Aizawa still reaches out to him, like he’s worried the man may get hurt, break, as he tells him that it’s not safe in this environment, and that Toshinori should leave, go where it’s safe.

When Aizawa couldn’t attend Bakugo and Todoroki’s extra classes, he asks Toshinori to go in his place, and even makes Present Mic go along as a body guard. He’s clearly concerned for the former hero’s safety and well-being. Toshinori now often fills in for Aizawa if he can’t make it to his own class.

When Midoriya’s new quirk is discovered, Aizawa takes Toshinori’s anxiety about the situation seriously, and they immediately go to put a stop to the training battle. 

But once Midoriya’s quirk settles down, Aizawa decides to let this play out, and calms Toshinori, saying he’ll put a stop to it if the situation happens again.

He later describes Toshinori as a genius, naturally talented, when explaining to Shinsou how he doesn’t expect the kid to be on the same level with the others in the hero course right off the bat. Aizawa has extreme respect for Toshinori.

The biggest moment between the two is late on a snowy night, when Toshinori sits outside in the cold, alone, contemplating...well, his life honestly. Aizawa find’s him, “there you are,” apparently looking for the taller man. Toshinori at first automatically deflects any questions about himself, and asks about the children. He then offers to help Aizawa with training Eri, in which the underground hero gladly accepts (something that Aizawa would not have done in the past, as he hated even speaking to the older man before). But Aizawa can see through the façade, and asks what’s wrong. Aizawa is one of, if not the only, person Toshinori confides in so deeply.  Horkioshi confirmed recently that of everyone (adults, I assume), pro heroes included, Toshinori is the closest to Aizawa. Toshinori decides he can trust Aizawa with his mental weights. He’s decided to live, but feels useless staying alive, powerless, unable to help anyone, or at least how the children need him to. 

Aizawa’s initially unnerved at the fact that Toshinori decided to live, as if the contemplation of otherwise was there. But he listens quietly, intently, to what Toshinori says. Finally, he tries to reason with the older man that being a workaholic, and never having time to rest, isn’t good either, points out that after holding up the country for decades, suddenly not having it has left an addiction. Toshinori doesn’t know what to do if he’s not running himself ragged. But also tells him that he is helping the students--by being alive, and by being here for them. There are a lot of people (Aizawa included?) that gain strength, just by Toshinori being there, alive. And he asks him to please keep on living and acting like his normal self. Toshinori’s overcome with emotion at his words.

For a relationship between the two, I’m sure they both would have had feelings for quite some time before ever admitting to it. Knowing their personalities, Aizawa would feel his feelings were illogical and deceptive. Toshinori is just a tad older than him, has met probably thousands more people than Aizawa ever will, and he was the number one hero. Falling for a guy like that just seemed too predictable and annoying. But Aizawa soon learns the differences between All Might and Toshinori, and while the latter still rubs him the wrong way at times, the tall, willowy man has managed to capture his heart. He feels compelled to care for the other, make sure he’s taking proper care of himself. And yet he tells himself it’s too invasive of the other man’s privacy; none of his business. When Mic and Midnight drag him to the bar and question him why his mood was off, he’d give no answer save for a shrug, and down another beer.

Toshinori would have feelings rather early, but most likely not realize they were more than just finally getting the grouchy Aizawa-kun to tolerate him. As weeks go by, he would catch his heart racing at Aizawa’s presence, blushing when the scruffy man would make tea for him after a coughing fit, and way too elated when Aizawa accepted the invitation for a drink together, alone. One night it would hit him just exactly how he feels for the younger man, and his heart would clench. Surely Aizawa couldn’t feel the same way, especially for a man as old, sickly, and awkward as himself. Even if it were possible, his own death is due to come within the next year, and he couldn’t do that to Aizawa-kun. He’d spend several nights fighting and eventually failing to quietly let his tears fall into the pillow below him as he tries to sleep, alone.

The two would cautiously work together, stepping around their own feelings to keep things normal between them. All the while Aizawa’s brain would fight against his heart, and Toshinori’s chest would tighten until a bloody cough was produced.

Finally, finally, after Mic and Midnight pry it out of Aizawa like a game of Operation, they force him to ask Toshinori out. It takes a week, but Aizawa finally finds the right moment to ask the former hero out for a drink and bar food. Glamorous as always, especially for a first date. But Toshinori gladly accepts, and spends the rest of the day convincing himself it’s just a friendly supper, between friends, not a date.

That night the two have a lovely evening of greasy bar food (which Toshinori politely only orders a small plate of fries, as there’s nothing blander on the menu) and beer (Toshinori also drinks a plain water). Aizawa apologizes for not taking Toshinori’s diet into account when picking where they met, and says he’ll let Toshinori pick the restaurant next time. Toshinori freezes at his wording. Aizawa’s quick to try and resolve, but Toshinori stops him. Asks him what exactly this is. A friendly dinner? Or something more? Aizawa buries into his scarf, and answers with a question in return; what do you want it to be? It’s then Toshinori sets his glass down, takes a moment to breathe, before spilling that he’d hoped it was a date. He’s bright red as he explains how he believes he’s developed...feelings over the months working together. That he wanted to go out again, but that he hadn’t wanted to force his feelings on Aizawa. Who would want someone like him?

These two have so much chemistry. They’ve been through so much together already: disagreements, near deaths, critical injuries, awkward moments of a budding friendship, talking each other off the ledge. In all the ships of the series, EraserMight has one of the most obvious connections and chemistries.

[linkspooky]

Shigaraki’s Plus Ultra

Chapter 281. The chapter is called “Plus Ultra” because Shigaraki is showing the same Plus Ultra determination the heroes always show. It’s the same scene. Deku screaming after the Muscle fight is a direct parallel to the way Shigaraki screams here the pose is exactly the same. It’s y’know, a parallel? Them boys are the same. Horikoshi loves setting up parallels. Now the villain of the story is parallelling the hero of the story, continuing to fight against an impossibly strong enemy even while his body is breaking down and everybody else is begging him to just give up already. Shigaraki is just another hero of the story, he has an origin that motivates him (like Bakugo, Shoto, Deku) he has a group of friends that he fights for, and now he’s going way beyond plus ultra to defeat the bad guy in front of him. 

1. Muscle Fight

There are several parallels to the muscle fight within this scene which was Deku’s first big solo moment as a hero in the manga. 

The first is that we’re getting a repetition of the idea that heroes hurt their own families to save total strangers. Deku is told directly that Kouta’s parents chose to die as heroes to save a random civilian rather than come home alive for the child who should have been their first priority. 

Yes, it’s not like it would have been right to let a random person die but still. The two parents knew being heroes was a high-risk occupation. They chose to have a child, then they chose to take that risk and not have the child be their first priority. Kouta’s bitterness is over the fact his parents chose to be heroes rather than be his parents. 

Shigaraki’s words and situation mirror Kouta’s, because Shigaraki is the analog of all abused children in the story. Himiko, Dabi, Hawks, Kouta, even Eri they are all meant to foil Shigaraki. Shigaraki is a victim of the current hero society, and he’s also a metaphor for all the other victims. He and Kouta says these things because they’ve both been through it. Kouta’s parents hurt him by not making him their top priority. Nana Shimura chose to be a hero, instead of retiring as a hero and being a mother to her son and going into hiding with him and that’s something Kotaro and then Shigaraki faced the consequences of. 

Shigaraki knows that hero’s don’t save people, and instead focus on punishing problem elements to maintain a status quo in society because he’s lived it. Kouta doesn’t see why his parents were out being heroes in the first place when they could have been at home raising him. Shigaraki lived in a busy town filled with heroes, and yet with a surplus of heroes running around on the street no hero even tried to save him.

It’s not because Shigaraki did anything wrong, he was a five-year-old kid. It’s because saving him would have been difficult, he was ugly, he was dirty. Shigaraki is saying that collectively hero society works by ignoring what the real problems are, and instead, everybody focuses on the glamour of heroes and pretends everything is okay. When heroes don’t even need to exist in the first place. That’s what Kouta says as well. His parents didn’t need to be heroes. If you choose to bring a child into the world, your first priority should be that child because they are completely dependent on you. The child doesn’t have a choice, the parents do. 

“Heroes hurt their families to help complete strangers” is also a rallying call to show that heroes aren’t protecting the people most in need of protecting, people like Shigaraki, Dabi, Kouta, who are all the biggest victims were also people who were literally related to heroes but didn’t get saved. Heroes don’t save the people they are obligated to save. We see this repeated time and time again. Endeavor cared more about being a hero than his own family, to the point where he neglected two children, let Touya die, and then beat up his own son in “training” for most of his life. Shimura Nana abandoned her child and left him with lifelong scars. 

It’s not just that the heroes are flawed though, or that they fail sometimes. If it was just that, then Shigaraki’s response wouldn’t be merited. 

Shigaraki, Twice, Dabi, and Himiko the people who have suffered under the system the most have been repeating the same criticisms again and again. One, the system still allows abuses to happen (Heroes hurt their own families) and two Heroes don’t actually fight to protect victims they fight to protect the system itself (Heroes don’t save people). 

If heroes don’t save their own families and the people closest to them, and they don’t save the people who are the biggest victims of the system then who are the pro heroes saving? 

Heroes are not defending people, but rather the hero system itself. The hero system convinces people that it needs to exist when it doesn’t keep general peace, and rather than actually trying to improve the society they instead keep the conflict between heroes and villains going because that conflict convinces the masses that the hero system is needed. It’s as Kouta says, people are going to keep calling themselves heroes and villains and fighting each other forever and it’s stupid. 

This system feeds into itself. Shigaraki is literally telling us what happens. People like Twice, Himiko, Dabi, Spinner all get cast out for not meeting society’s standards. They eventually get radicalized and fight back and retaliate against a system that has been violent to them. Then the heroes put them down. Then, more people get cast out. As Shigaraki says, this system is just going to keep perpetuating itself forever. Heroes don’t protect people, they protect the system that is in place first and foremost. 

Anyway, back to the Deku and Kouta scene. A hero tries to kill a child. 

Deku, even though he’s fighting all alone with no back up at all against an enemy FAR MORE POWERFUL than him, just WON’T STOP FIGHTING. 

Shigaraki faces enemies who are trying to kill him. However, just like that Deku, he WON’T GIVE UP, even when his body is far past the point of breaking. Shigaraki is told to die, just give up and die, over and over again by everyone around him but he keeps fighting against that. 

Deku’s number one priority is that he has to fight back against the villain who killed both of Kouta’s parents in order to save an abused child. 

Shigaraki is that abused child, fighting back. Muscle was someone willing to kill a child. Who is Shigaraki fighting against now? Three people who made a choice to harm children.

Gran Torino chose to do nothing when Nana abandoned her child, and then never checked up on that child after she died. He chose to help Nana, rather than helping the child she abandoned. 

Endeavor abused Shoto in order to make a hero that can surpass All Might. He chose to be the number one hero, rather than Shoto’s father. He also only chose to have a family to benefit himself and his ambitions in the first place.

Aizawa Shota literally had a friend die on a hero internship and knows the dangers of it, but he chose to let the kids all come along into a warzone and fight against villains who will be trying their best to kill them. 

Not only is Shigaraki Kouta, but there’s also a scene where Kouta gets victim-blamed. 

The question asked is who is at fault. 

We see the same victim-blaming behavior done by the heroes this time. It’s Shigaraki’s fault for being born, being kidnapped by AFO, for manifesting a destructive quirk, it’s what Shigaraki is told over and over again. 

And the abusers who Shigaraki is fighting against all have no reaction. Endeavor literally has no self-awareness when he hears Shigaraki say “My father told me heroes hurt their own families in order to save random strangers.” Even though... that’s exactly what Endeavor did. 

Gran Torino’s dying flashback shows us just that. He blamed Shigaraki, not because Shigaraki was at fault but because he just couldn’t admit that he was the one who made the wrong choice. Gran Torino is literally partially to blame for what happened to Shigaraki, the same way Kouta is directly confronted by the villain who killed his parents. 

Shigaraki is having his plus Ultra moment right now. He’s struggling against an impossible enemy all alone and trying to bear the conflict on his shoulders. He even physically parallels the actions of several heroes. He did the “Plus Ultra” pose with the wrong arm like Endeavor did after defeating the high end. (One step further, he parallels the High-End fight by getting up and continuing to fight even after being horribly scarred by the enemy). He is giving him all fighting against a villain, that villain is just all of hero society. 

2. Two Heroes

All Might suggested that what Deku is lacking in as a hero, he can find and make up for by recognizing that quality in someone else and working together with them. However, Deku’s problem isn’t really that he’s not obsessing enough over his personal strength. Like, get stronger has basically been Deku’s objective since chapter one. 

Bakugo isn’t the deuteragonist of this story, Shigaraki is. Shigaraki is the second hero that Deku needs to recognize. The reason why is simple, Deku has this strong urge to save people, but he doesn’t know what saving people really means. He thinks saving people is swooping in to defeat a bad guy and that’s it. 

Deku can’t tell Kouta anything of substance, because he doesn’t understand Kouta’s problems, which is exactly what Shigaraki himself says. The thing is Deku is participating in the victim-blaming here. Deku says that it’s KOUTA’s FAULT because KOUTA IS THE ONE REJECTING OTHERS. However, it’s the other way around. It’s Kouta’s parents who first rejected him. Then it was everybody who praised Kouta’s parents as heroes when they failed their responsibility for their children.  They’re incapable of understanding because they haven’t suffered it. 

Deku only knows his limited perspective of the world. He rejects the perspectives of people like Shigaraki. He says Shigaraki is someone impossible to understand but we know that’s not the case, because not only is Shigaraki Deku’s strongest foil in the story they literally have the same origin point, they both wanted to be heroes when everyone told them they couldn’t. The only difference is this, Deku got saved, and Shigaraki didn’t. As someone who got saved, Deku can’t understand the feelings of those who don’t get saved. 

However, it goes beyond that. Why does Shigaraki say that heroes are incapable of understanding the feelings of villains? The question to ask with structures of power is to look at who benefits. Endeavor faces no consequences for his actions towards his family, even though he at least admits that he made a whoopsie. Everybody else still sees Endeavor as a hero within society. Endeavor retains his position because society is built to keep heroes in place. Society is structured in a way that everyone will stay in the same position. The heroes remain, heroes, the muck remains the muck. The power structure has to stay in place no matter what, so people operating within society make choices to keep the power structure in place rather than doing what is right or wrong. 

People aren’t protecting people, but rather the structures in place. The structures that are in place, currently as they are benefits people like Endeavor. Endeavor is successful by all marks of society. He has a high case rate of solves, he is wealthy, he has enough influence to throw around that he can fast track his kid to the best school possible. Endeavor is what society tells us a good, successful person is like, but we know he’s rotten as a person. 

The society that Shigaraki talks about is already broken. It’s just the people who feel the most effects of society’s broken nature, are its biggest victims. Society already broke for Shigaraki, it already broke for Dabi, it already broke for Himiko. Deku and friends can pretend everything is fine and wipe everything under the rug because they haven’t suffered that way.  Even those who have like Shoto mostly keep quiet about their situations. Shoto’s path so far inside the hero system has been conforming with what his father wants of him, interning at his agency. Even those who genuinely have been hurt exist in an environment that encourages them to keep their hurt feelings quiet for the benefit of everyone and conform more. Everybody always telling Shoto what a good hero his father is, and generally being completely ignorant of what his father did to him, even people like All MIght, is a pressuring force that tells him to ignore how the system has failed him. Deku is surrounded by people who either haven’t been victimized at all or who are “good victims” which are either completely innocent children who present an uncomplicated image of an abused child to be saved. (Here’s a hint most real-life abused children act nothing like Eri, a lot of abused children develop violent tendencies, lash out, and act out because the violence they’ve endured literally stunts the growth of their brains). Or the people are “good victims” who like Todoroki Shoto still try to become heroes even when the hero system has failed them. Deku has no reason to question his actions or the actions of the people around him because as long as you’re a hero you are on the side the benefits for the most part. People who are secure of their position within their society don’t really need to question the feelings of those who are insecure. 

They haven’t been hurt. They also don’t really want to understand the feelings of those who have been hurt. Because, Hero Society is all about protecting institutions, symbols, and not actual people. THIS IS WHY we see something so ridiculous as Endeavor literally hearing “Heroes hurt their own families - my father told me that” and yet, SOMEHOW NOT REALIZING THAT THOSE WORDS APPLY TO HIM AS WELL. Even though that’s literally... exactly what he did. 

Not only does Hero Society only try to save good victims, but when Hero Society fails to save people, the bad victims are actively dehumanized and made out to be at fault for their own victimhood. Citation: The many many time's Gran Torino suggested five-year-old Shigaraki Tomura was just born evil, and therefore there’s nothing that can be done. 

This is because once again the actual focus of hero society is not in addressing problems, but rather blaming the ills of society on a few problem elements. If we could just get rid of those baddies who are causing problems for everybody else society would be fixed. 

So people like Twice are forced into impossible situations.  His parents are killed by Villains. He’s fired from his job even though he was obeying traffic laws and the person he hit wasn’t.  He ended up homeless on the street as a teenager.  What was Twice supposed to do then? Starve to death? Victims are put into impossible situations where retaliation is really their only option, and then they’re blamed for retaliating. Then those victims get punished. The society acts like the problem is solved, but it’s not because the society is still broken. It’s still letting people fall through the cracks. AND DON’T GO ‘NO SOCIETY IS PERFECT.’ A few social programs would have helped Twice a lot more than putting on a costume, calling him a villain, and punching him did in the end. Everyone is so in love with the idea of heroes they don’t try to fix what’s right in front of their eyes. The problem isn’t that society is not perfect. It’s that everone would rather ignore the problem, rather than address it and try to solve it. 

Deku’s biggest strong point is his love of heroes. His biggest flaw is his love of heroes. He is completely uncritical of the current system of heroes. Yes, he’s fifteen so it’s obvious he might not know better but there are times Deku shows a surprising lack of empathy. He just cuts it off if he’s facing a villain. Like for example here’s Koichi acting like a decent person.

O’Clock was trying to hurt Koichi, and yet when he sees the horrible condition that O’clock II is in, his first response is to ask if he’s okay, and ask him if he needs help. Because you know... he’s still a person? Even if he’s a bad person having half of his face burned off means he’s in horrible pain and he still needs help? 

Deku is just like the old lady we’re shown in Shigaraki’s flashback. He believes in heroes so much, he’ll ignore the suffering of somebody right in front of him. Is Deku obligated to sympathize with Shigaraki? I guess not, but Koichi does with O’Clock even while the other is barking threats at him. 

Deku’s naivete can hurt people even though he wants to help people. Deku declares that Shigaraki is unforgivable. However, Deku also before this arc started already seemed to have made up his mind to forgive Endeavor. 

 Endeavor is system APPROVED TM and Shigaraki is not. Deku divides people into good or bad people, and then doles out sympathy depending on who he thinks is deserving of it or not. Deku’s own prejudices are highly reminiscent of the way hero society functions as well. AND DO NOT BRING UP GENTLE. GENTLE was only going to crash a school festival. That’s like making Deku out to be a saint because he didn’t think a person who J-walked was evil. 

Deku’s blind naivete can hurt people too. How much did Deku’s careless words hurt Natsuo? It’s not that Endeavor needs to be forgiven. Endeavor has already been forgiven. He’s never been held accountable for his actions.   

Instead of Endeavor being held accountable for his actions, Natsuo is continually made out to be the bad guy for not forgiving Endeavor and moving on with his life. Instead of directly addressing the abuses, victims are instead silenced and told to move on with their lives. 

The reason I bring up Natsuo as a point is that even people who aren’t harming anybody, are made out to be the problem. People around Natsuo constantly imply that he’s the one disrupting the household. This behavior of telling victims to remain quiet, HURTS EVERYONE EQUALLY even those who don’t react in extreme ways like Dabi, Himiko, Shigaraki. 

Deku will never be able to sympathize with people like Shigaraki because he hasn’t seen what they’ve been through. Shigaraki however, has been just like Deku saving people all this time. 

It’s Shigaraki who has been getting close to the people hero society wouldn’t save, who’d never try to save, and saving them all along. Deku’s flaw, that he’s too naive to save the people who most need saving is Shigaraki’s feature. Shigaraki’s flaw that he can’t see a better world beyond all the destruction is Deku’s feature. 

Deku won’t challenge the world that is currently in place. Shigaraki won’t try to do anything to build, he just wants to destroy and be done with it. 

Deku protects. Shigaraki wants to protect but only thinks he’s good for destruction. 

They both only carry half of the answer with them. A better world can’t be built with the old world still in place. A better world can’t be built if your only focus is on destroying the old one, and not on healing. 

Shigaraki and Deku are woefully incomplete as heroes without one another. 

The story between Shigaraki and Deku will end not with two brothers killing each other, but with two brothers reconciling. 

The thing is... The chant isn’t. “All for One.” Or. “One for All.”  It was never about one answer being the best way to do things. The chant goes “All for One, and One for All.”  It was always both.  Both Shigaraki and Deku. This story has two heroes. 

[flowerypeaches]

Dealmaker

Trembling hands caressed a cold face.

“Oh, Sidekick.” Hero said, tears pricking their eyes. “What happened?”

For the past couple months, Sidekick had been begging Hero nonstop to be assigned solo patrols. Hero eventually gave in, if only to stop their incessant pestering, and gave Sidekick a small neighbourhood to start off with. They had been doing so well, that Hero eventually gave them larger and larger areas to watch over. Everything had been going fine. Until today.

When Sidekick failed to check in, Hero immediately knew something was wrong. They ran out into the night, looking in every side street and roof for information.

It was after four grueling hours that Hero found Sidekick, dead in an alley and cold to the touch.

They didn’t believe their eyes, but when Hero got close enough to see the familiar freckles that peppered Sidekick's skin, they broke down. Hero knelt over Sidekick, tears dripping down their chin. Guilt clutching their chest with an iron grip. If only they said no when Sidekick asked for solo patrols, or kept them in the smaller areas, or decided to join them for the night, instead of taking a break.

Mind full of what-ifs, Hero didn’t notice the sudden drop in temperature.

“Looks like they’ve seen better days.”

Hero shot up, startled out of their grief, and hastily rubbed away their tears.

“W-who’s there?”

They searched the damp walls and cracked pavement of the alley, illuminated only by the yellow street lamps, for the owner of the voice.

But no one was there.

Did they imagine it?

A cold laugh bounced off the walls.

Hero spun, fists raised. Eyes darting around, they found a figure hidden in the alley’s deep shadows. 

“I see you. Come out!” Hero thought they saw a glint of red. A trick of the light, surely.

The figure didn’t move.

There was only one reason why someone would stick around a corpse without calling for help.

“Did you do this? Did you kill Sidekick?” Hero said, unable to hide the tremble in their voice.

The figure finally spoke. “Afraid not, Hero. The one responsible would be your darling Villain.”

Hero narrowed their eyes. Villain was a lot of things, but murderer wasn’t one of them. It was one of the few reasons why Hero let Sidekick patrol alone; Villain’s territory was safer than most crime-riddled areas. Supposed to be.

They shook their head, “You’re wrong, Villain would never kill Sidekick.”

“Not intentionally, no.” The figure moved, still lingering in the shadows, and Hero could see that the figure was incredibly tall. As if they could reach out and grab Hero from where they stood. “But when one's nemesis has the strength to lift cars, it's easy to forget that not everyone can handle the same amount of power. With how often you two fight, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened sooner.”

The hairs on Hero’s neck stood on end. This person, whoever they were, was making it up. They had to be. “You’re lying. I don’t know why, but you are. Why else would you wait around a-a…” Hero spared a glance at Sidekick. “Why else would you stay here?”

“To find you.”

Hero stepped back, heart pounding. Their instincts told them to run, to get as far away as fast as possible. But running meant leaving Sidekick, and Hero wouldn’t forgive themself if they did. Couldn’t.

The figure didn’t elaborate. Gesturing to Sidekick, instead. “Do you think any run-of-the-mill villain could inflict wounds like that?”

If the figure wanted to kill them, they would have done it while Hero’s back was to them. They took a deep breath, and knelt back down to Sidekick, still facing the figure, just in case. Hero turned their gaze down, eyeing the mess of cuts and bruises that was Sidekick’s torso. Analyzing their injuries for evidence, until...

Hero grit their teeth.

They’d recognize those stupid miniscule marks anywhere. After all, their own body was covered in them. Little scars that came from a direct hit of Villain’s power.

Mock sympathy dripped from the figure’s voice like oil slick. “And when your dear old Villain realized what they’d done, they ran.”

“T-they wouldn’t.”

“Why not? They’re a villain. Not taking responsibility is in their nature.”

They didn’t argue.

“Do you think Villain would tell you the truth? If you confronted them?” Hero could hear the smile in the figure's voice. “No, knowing them, they’d do everything in their power to convince you otherwise. That those unmistakable marks were from someone else. That they were being set up. 

“And, when they finally realize it’s hopeless, they’d beg you for forgiveness. Maybe even offering to turn themself in. All because they couldn’t bear to lose you, their darling nemesis who makes them feel whole. They have such a big soft spot for you, it’s sickening.”

Hero certainly felt sick. Their tears returned, blurring the world around them. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I think we can help each other.”

“I don’t want revenge.” Hero said, though there was no conviction in their words.

“No, but I can bring Sidekick back.”

Hero’s head snapped up, ready to tell them off, when the figure walked out of the darkness.

Street lamps illuminated something that could only be described as otherworldly. Wisps of smoke trailed behind them like coattails. Piercing eyes that burned like fire. They were a walking shadow, consuming any light that got too close.

Hero froze. “You're not, you can’t, t-this isn’t real.”

The figure, creature, stalked closer, until they were looming over Hero. They could now see just how tall they truly were. Like someone grabbed their head and feet and pulled and pulled. Stretched too thin and too tall and too close. Hero fought the urge to flee.

They reached down and grabbed Hero's jaw with their massive hands, forcing Hero to their feet. “I'm as real as your friend’s corpse on the ground.” Flecks of ash flew around them, the smell of smoke filled the air.

“What are you?”

They sighed. “Demon has such nasty connotations. But, I suppose that would be the closest definition you humans understand.”

Hero winced as an ember landed on their skin. 

“No matter, I have something to offer, and you have something I desire.” Hero felt the demon’s nails dig into their cheeks as they were forced to their tiptoes. “What do you say, Hero? Care to make a deal?”

They stared into the demon’s eyes, seeing visions of hellfire. Whispers of agony in their ear. Brimstone choking their lungs. Pain and suffering swallowing them whole.

Hero pulled away, falling to their knees and gasping for air. Clutching the ground in an effort to anchor themself to reality.

“I’m not selling my soul to a demon.” Hero said.

The demon bent down, and Hero flinched, expecting to be forced to look in their eyes again.

“Not even to save your precious Sidekick?”

Hero shook their head, guilt gnawing at their insides.

The demon hummed. “And here I thought you cared for them.”

“I do care! It’s just, I just,” Hero looked at the body, then to the demon. “I don’t want to, to…”

“Go to hell?” They offered.

Hero nodded.

They were a coward. A real hero would sacrifice themself in a heartbeat, but Hero couldn’t even consider it for a second. They weren’t there to protect Sidekick, and now they were letting an opportunity to save them slip away.

But what they saw in the demon’s eyes…

Hero shuddered.

It scared them more than any villain ever did.

If they sold their soul, Hero knew their pain would be the fuel to light the flames.

Coward.

“You're in luck, Hero. For it's not your soul I desire.”

Hero’s brows knit together. They looked up hesitantly, avoiding the demon’s eyes. “Then… what do you desire?”

The smoke parted in an approximation of a smile. “A body.”

“A body?”

They nodded. “It takes a lot of energy to maintain a corporeal form on earth. Possessing a body would lessen that burden greatly.”

“W-why?”

They shrugged. “A demon needs to eat.”

This was a chance of a lifetime. Saving Sidekick without being condemned to eternal damnation. What a deal!

Letting a demon possess their body, though. Hero didn’t know what that entailed. Would it hurt? Could they be killed while the demon was possessing them? If the demon killed someone, by making deals or otherwise, would it be their fault?

As if reading their mind—maybe they can—the demon spoke. “You wont notice a thing; It will be as if you’re in a deep sleep. My visits won’t take long either, so there will still be time for you to play hero. I’ll even make sure not to mess with your civilian life. Aren’t I considerate?”

“And my hero life?”

The demon huffed, blowing smoke into Hero’s face. “I won't ruin your reputation, but I can’t guarantee people won't see me. Oh! Maybe I should get my own costume, wouldn’t that be fun?”

Hero didn’t respond.

“Unless you’d prefer me to use your civilian identity?”

“No! I-I mean, please. Please use this identity. Or make another one. Please.” Hero cringed at their pleading, but the demon seemed satisfied.

“So it's settled.” Sparks flew from the demon as they clapped their hands together, causing Hero to jump. “I give Sidekick a second chance at life, and you give me your body to possess whenever I desire, withstanding I give you time to live your silly little human life, unaffected.”

Hero looked at Sidekick. Their face tinged grey, resembling wax more than skin. If they didn’t do this… did they really deserve to be called a hero?

They swallowed.

No. They were doing this. No turning back.

Hero looked up, staring directly into the flames. “Deal.”

The demon smiled, and took Hero’s face into their terrifying hands. “Pleasure doing business.” They leaned in, and, for a moment, Hero expected a kiss.

Instead, the shadow that made up the demon dissipated, rushing into their nose and mouth, replacing the air in their lungs. Hero choked as the smoke invaded their body, spots dotting their vision. They reached out, trying to hold onto something, anything, but only found air. The essence of the demon flowed through them, filling up their entire being. They couldn’t move, couldn’t cry out in fear. All Hero could do was wait.

They opened their eyes, taking long and heavy breaths. It was done. Hero leaned back, trying to calm down.

They hoped they wouldn’t regret this.

A loud gasp followed by a series of coughs made Hero lurch upright. They scrambled towards the noise, almost falling over as they reached Sidekick.

“Sidekick? You’re alive. You’re alive!” Hero took Sidekick into their arms, holding on tight. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“H-hero? What happened?” Sidekick said, eyes unfocused.

“You were out on patrol. You didn’t check in, and I got worried.” Hero held onto Sidekick as if they’d disappear the moment they let go. “It took me so long to find you, I was so scared.”

“I saw Villain.” Sidekick looked up. “I thought I could take them by myself, b-but I couldn’t. I’m so stupid, I should have called you as soon as I saw them.”

Hero squeezed their shoulder. “You’re not stupid. I should’ve realized you weren’t ready for solo patrol. Or kept you in the smaller areas, at the very least.”

Sidekick shook their head. “It’s not your fault. I kept on bugging you, and I made the choice to fight Villain alone.”

Hero pressed Sidekick’s forehead against their own. This was real. They were alive. Any doubts Hero had vanished the moment the colour in Sidekick’s cheeks returned. They would die before they saw the waxy, greyed skin again.

A slight smile appeared on Sidekick’s face, “Where did you look for me, anyway? A chimney? Your face is covered in soot.”

“Something like that.” Hero laughed halfheartedly, trying to hide their grimace.

Sidekick must have noticed, because they took Hero’s hands in their own. “I’m sorry.”

Hero rested their chin on Sidekick’s head, “Promise you’ll call for backup next time?”

“I promise. I love you.”

A trail of smoke left their lips. “I love you, too.”

[cristalconnors]

TOP 20 SONGS OF 2020

20. “BELOW THE CLAVICLE”- EARTHEATER

“The meaning hasn’t come up yet. It’s still under the surface below the clavicle.”

It isn’t just Alexandra Drewchin’s ear splitting soprano when she hits that impossibly high B, practically shrieking out the “cle” syllable of clavicle, though that’s undoubtedly when I first knew that Eartheater’s avant folk was for me- it’s also the cinematic, lush strings, both bowed and plucked (is that acoustic guitar or harp? I genuinely can’t tell), deepening and complicating the sonic texture of Drewchin’s study of parsing through emotions you aren’t ready to make sense of yet. 

19. “PUSSY TALK”- CITY GIRLS, FT. DOJA CAT

“This pussy so ghetto, this pussy speak ebonics”

“WAP”’s funnier, classless Irish twin, though it’s important to note “Pussy Talk” came first. Yung Miami and JT enlist Doja Cat to expound on everything their pussies deserve and will absolutely settle for nothing less than. And why should they when they’re spitting out verses this inspiredly hilarious with such confidence and flow? 

18. “LICK IN HEAVEN”- JESSY LANZA

“Once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning...”

Jessy Lanza is talking about losing your cool, letting your emotions get the best of you and lashing out instead of letting cooler heads prevail, but when that earworm of a chorus hits- “once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning” - I can’t stop spinning. I’m that woman on the single art, a wine mom lost in the delirium of the dance floor and in Lanza’s hypnotic, fragmented rhythms.  

17. “GASLIGHTER”- THE CHICKS

“Boy, you know exactly what you did on my boat!”

“Gaslighter” finds Natalie Ames and her Chicks at their most simultaneously ruthless and ebullient, ripping Ames’s ex-husband Adrian Pasdar a new asshole and ratcheting up the righteous anger of “Goodbye Earl” tenfold, channeling it into a glorious wall of sound in what might be their most rousing, emotionally resonant chorus in their storied career. 

16. “HANNAH SUN”- LOMELDA

“Hannah do no harm...”

While “Hannah Sun” begins as an exquisitely observed rumination on grappling with long-distance, pining for someone who’s a continent away, it gradually becomes clear that Hannah Read blames herself for putting the distance between her and the subject of her longing, and that the distance isn’t strictly literal. Skittering synths (or is that distorted flute?) complicate and enrich the texture of the song, allowing it to build organically and stunningly towards a heartbreaking plea to herself- “Hannah, do no harm.”

15. “FIRE”- WAXAHATCHEE

“And when I turn back around will you drain me back out? Will you let me believe that I broke through?”

When I’d drive back and forth between Dallas and Austin over and over again when I was in college, I’d often get off I-35 past Waco and take the back roads through towns I’d never heard of, the sun setting spectacularly behind the titular hills of Hill Country that were beginning to roll out in earnest. I think about that a lot when listening to “Fire,” a song dripping in rural Americana that was, unsurprisingly, inspired by a road trip. We’ve probably all been Katie Crutchfield as she crossed the bridge into West Memphis- alone in the car, awed by the simple beauty of the American countryside, making speeches to ourselves about our past mistakes and figuring out a way forward. 

14. “3AM”- HAIM

“On the screen and in my jeans, just make me feel good.”

On an album full of genre departures and decidedly darker themes than we’ve typically heard from Haim in their near decade of syncopated bubblegum pop rock, “3AM” stands out not only as their most effective stab at pastiche, slipping into the trappings of contemporary R&B with shocking ease and gusto, but also as their most unabashedly fun track in their entire oeuvre. “I think you can hear the amount of joy and laughs we had making this song” Alana Haim tells Apple Music, and you absolutely can.

13. “QADIR”- NICK HAKIM

“We’re sinking down a hole without thinking about our loved ones who might be shrinking...”

I often wonder if I’m putting enough effort into maintaining my relationships with friends I don’t see regularly, who live several time zones away, living their own lives while I live mine. When the thought of sustaining simple correspondence becomes overwhelming, it’s easy for months to go by before you realize you haven’t spoken to one of your closest friends. “QADIR” plays less like a eulogy for a friend gone too soon (though of course it is that) than a plea to the listener to put in the work. It’s worth it. You never know when it’ll be too late.

12. “LEVITATING”- DUA LIPA

“Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes shining just the way we are.”

Just a few bars of that delightfully bouncy, extra-terrestrial beat is enough to launch me into space. It’s so refreshing to hear a song that remembers that pop is supposed to be joyful and is best when it’s a bit silly. When discussing this track with Apple Music, Dua Lipa cites Austin Powers as inspiration, elaborating that “if I do a video for this, Mike Meyers has to be in it.” Can’t you just see them together, performing a farcical pas de deux of seduction like the spiritual successor to “Beautiful Stranger?”

11. “RIQUIQUI”- ARCA

“Love in the face of fear! Fear in the face of God!”

Arca’s made a career of harnessing chaos and somehow making sense of it. On an album that finds her embracing more traditional, accessible song structures, “Riquiqui” is a reminder that even when working within an AB structure, she’s still breaking rules left and right and having a blast doing it. She’s also never sounded so ferociously empowered in either her femininity or in her Venezuelan identity, rattling off local colloquialisms with affection and verve without a second thought as to who’s going to understand it. 

10. “FANTASY”- AGAINST ALL LOGIC

“I think about you all the time...”

Or, the musical embodiment of this gif:

When Nicolas Jaar’s tormented synths and crunching beats give way to Beyoncé’s unmistakable alto, it is indeed quite the shock. But should it be? Even if 2017-2019 finds him ditching the dancefloor in favor of more severe, unforgiving soundscapes, his already varied career has shown us nothing’s off limits to him. So why not reinvent Beyoncé’s iconic “Baby Boy” into an industrial, vaguely sinister certified bop that arguably surpasses the original?

9. “PEOPLE, I’VE BEEN SAD”- CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS

“If you disappear, then I’m disappearing, too.”

“People, I’ve been sad” plays out with the vulnerability and intimacy of a tumblr text post you put out in the middle of the night, only to hastily delete later when it gets no notes. It forgoes flowery language in favor of just getting to the point. “I’ve been sad.” Héloïse Adelaïde Letissier blows up this deceptively simple sentiment with richly layered textures and a big screen gloss not to offer any remedies but instead to offer solidarity. We’re all in this hell together.

8. “DESCRIBE”- PERFUME GENIUS

“Can you just find him for me?”

Mike Hadreas has never sounded so hopeless. Utilizing harsh, rattling guitar that would make Kevin Shields swoon, he conveys the experience of being so estranged from happiness and joy that you need to rely on others to describe the sensation to you. But how, when exploring darker textures than he ever has before, does he make despondency sound so divine? 

7. “4 AMERICAN DOLLARS”- U.S. GIRLS

“No matter how much you get to have, you will still die and that’s the only thing.”

Meg Remy picks up where she left off on “4 American Dollars,” reviving the subversive pastiche she mastered on In a Poem Unlimited, this time harnessing the power of funk to dismantle the fallacies we’re taught about the virtues of capitalism. Heavy stuff, but Remy makes it less didactic than joyous, ensuring the listener will be singing “I don’t believe in pennies and nickels and dimes and dollars and pesos and pounds and rupees and yen and rubles” until they start to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t, either. 

6. “STUPID LOVE”- LADY GAGA

“I freak out, I freak out, I freak out, I freak out!”

Due to a healthy spirit of contrarianism mixed with a touch of internalized homophobia and genuine bafflement at her universal appeal and praise, I was a proud Lady Gaga hater for as long as she’d been a cultural entity. I just didn’t get her at all and loved that about myself. Annoying, I know. 2020 was the year I was finally ready to let that all go. Just before the world fell apart in March, I was out at Flaming Saddles (RIP) with friends the night this song came out and by the sixteenth time it played, I understood why it was inducing such hysteria. This was a cultural shift. After a frustrating near-decade of Gaga subverting expectations so thoroughly that she was actively working against her strengths and sabotaging her cultural ubiquity in the process, coupled with the most frightening era of political upheaval in our lifetimes, she was finally ready to save us and be Lady Gaga again. Booming synth, drag sensibilities, absurd thematic conceits- all was right in the world. For the first time in a long time, people had something to be hopeful about, and as I danced that night, I felt that hope, too. 

5. “SHELLFISH MADEMOISELLE”- RÓISÍN MURPHY

“How dare you sentence me to a lifetime without dancing?”

As soon as that bass starts (the funkiest bassline in the history of music?) it’s like Róisín Murphy’s snake charming oboe, coaxing even the most stalwart curmudgeon onto the dancefloor and keeping them there, dancing frantically and involuntarily like the citizens of Strasbourg in 1518, trying their best to keep up with Murphy who isn’t even breaking a sweat, commanding the masses with a sultry remove, beckoning you closer, pulling you inexorably deeper into the mass of gyrating bodies and whispering in your ear “come and have a dance with yer mum.”

4. “PARTY 4 U”- CHARLI XCX

“I only threw this party for you...”

As PC Music / Bubblegum Bass / whatever you want to call it enters its second decade, Charli XCX proves not only that there’s still new textures to explore within it, but also that no one can exploit its artifice to get down to emotional truths like she can. How can she make something this slick sound so vulnerable? “I only threw this party for you” she croons over and over again over glorious syncopated synths that build exquisitely, reaching their climax only to immediately fall away, until it’s just her and her trusty autotune, pleading with the subject of the song to just come to the damn party. But they won’t, of course. They never do, do they?

3. “WAP”- CARDI B, FT. MEGAN THEE STALLION

“I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat!”

Sometimes you just immediately know you’re living through a significant cultural moment. No, not COVID. I’m talking about the experience of hearing Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s instant classic “WAP” for the first time, a titanic meeting of the minds that finds both of them at the apex of their cultural influence and at their most undeniable. Can the argument be made that these two aren’t the two best rappers in the game right now? How could you hear this inspiredly filthy sex positive juggernaut, where Cardi and Megan are trading the sickest verses of their careers, and not think these two deserve the world? 

2. “KEROSENE!”- YVES TUMOR

“I can be your baby in real life, sugar. I can live in your dreams.”

If the 2010′s were all about the pop-ification of all music, trading in live instrumentation in favor of polished synths, 2020 forcefully announced the return of the electric guitar when Yves Tumor and Diana Gordon’s back and forth lustfully submissive declarations of desire suddenly gave way to that nasty guitar rip lifted from Uriah Heep’s “Weep in Silence” to announce yet another cultural shift in a year chock full of them- rock and roll was, indeed, here to stay. 

1. “I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME”- FIONA APPLE

“I move with the trees in the breeze, I know that time is elastic.”

We live and we learn. Years spent soul searching and on self-discovery shape us into better, smarter people, progressively knowing and understanding ourselves and the world around us more and more clearly, but Fiona Apple knows that none of that can quell the ferocious desire to be loved by someone. By anyone. By you, whoever that is. We can know that time is elastic and that when we’re gone all our particles will disband and disperse and then we’ll be back in the pulse, and we can know that none of this stuff actually matters, but still- we want, we want, we want. 

[barnesandco]

Blame it on the Heartache

A broken woman finds a lost man, and they try to put each other back together.

This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo​​ 2020. Word count: approximately 2219. Square filled: “Morning Sex”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of violence, warzones, and one brief mention of persecution of LGBT people in Chechnya. Oh and also smut. Lots of smut (18+ only). It was supposed to be just smut, but then angst happened, and here we are. 

A/N: There’s some talk about blame in this fic, and honestly, I blame (and thank) @heli0s-writes​, this post, and this one. Also, there will be a part 2 some time next week.

You find him by accident. Kiev bar just after dawn, with wooden bar tops and table tops all rotting with the steady decay of time and too little money, disguises his head of dark hair and grimy outline in a corner booth perfectly but your eyes lock onto the side profile, the slope of his nose and the bow of his lips arching against the light of the snow outside. The Winter Soldier, or the shell he has left behind, sits with a shot glass clutched loosely in a gloved hand, the other one’s fingers decorated with rings.

They’re intriguing things, that you watch closely from the bar, pounding head distracted by the scent of hot chocolate and the jewellery that is both the manifestation of wishes for a prettier life, and the mark of a roughened man at the same time. The light catches on a round ruby set on a silver band on his forefinger. It reminds you of the red star painted on gleaming gray you first saw smuggling political refugees from one warzone into another. The time you were a spy, before you were an activist, before you gave up all hope of NGO pretenses and took things into your own hands, helping people with only the wind to guide you.

Not that you succeeded much. Now, days after desperate depression and harrowing hopelessness thanks to only having managed to rescue half as many queer Chechen teens from their torture cells as intended, you are aching with the weight of your uselessness. The air around you, the tonnes of the morning sky are pressing down on your shoulders, and the whiskey in your hot chocolate is doing little to relieve the tension.

The sorrow is what you will blame, later. Or perhaps, the alcohol, although there is barely a syringe’s worth of it in your system with less than half your mug still empty and going cold quick. You’ll fault the loneliness of decades helping a world that does not want to become better for how you rise from your stool and sit down across from the man who thinks he is a stranger to you.

You’ve read the stories. Seen the videos of the helicarrier falling apart above the Potomac, the camera footage captured by a daring chopper, and the Smithsonian’s exhibit on Bucky Barnes. The eyes staring back at you, calculating, clever, above cutting cheekbones, are the same as the ones on the wall in the museum. He’s had a century of pain and you only tenths of one, but the hurt rings out and resonates clearly, a sonic bell of a distress signal, captured by wandering eyes and inexplicable want.

You wonder what he will blame for his response to you unbuttoning the top of your shirt, and your hand over his. Possibly, the fact that he’s been on the run for a year. A year out of the cryostasis detailed by the files the Black Widow leaked in D.C. A year of running, of being alone and sometimes worse -- only the haunting nightmares for company. Your sympathy, the same one that pushes you to keep at your job when it is forever hopeless, is what pulls your heartstrings closer to him.

His fingers tighten around yours, and you blame desolation. You blame the flaming burn of want that shines from his eyes when he sees a face that is not just friendly, but maybe familiar, too. Something tells you you ought to be scared, as he rises and drops a hryvnia bill on the table, and leaves, still holding your hand, but the strength of his grip deters you. The hold is gentle, calloused, the rings grazing your palm as he adjusts to intertwine your hands, so each metal band comes to rest against the sensitive skin between your fingers. Tight enough to feel coarse skin and trembling desire, but loose enough that you can easily leave. Run. You are not being forced anywhere.

The streets of Kiev become a shimmering, white backdrop to his face that looks even more stunning in the light. How much of your last encounter does he recall, if any? New Mexico, 2001, protection detail for war scarred children who needed to evacuate, one of which was an heir to a throne. A brawl in a market, sweat-sticky sundress flaring furiously, the heat of the American sun no match for that of his arms around you. A dance, a twirling battle, and the gasping from breath in the aftermath was one hell of a challenge. Something that restored your faith in your job.

But you’re far from Albuquerque, now, and are reminded of that fact as he leads you to the polar opposite of a southern tavern. It’s an inn. A quaint, small place, more wood, this one gleaming brown on the walls and the hardwood floors and the mahogany counter, all well kept. He strides past the burning fireplace in the lobby and climbs the stairs two at a time, as you struggle to keep up. Part of your lust-addled brain thinks to joke about how he has you panting before he’s even gotten you in bed.

All thought of laughter evaporates when he shuts the door and presses you against it with his human forearm pressing on your neck. Tight enough to threaten but loose enough to let you breath. Your heart beats faster, the pulse of your veins thrumming a little closer to the surface. 

Who are you? he growls in Ukrainian, eyes shifting between threatening and offering little hints of fear. When you do not answer, he asks, who sent you? 

The material of his jacket is rough where it pushes into you. You have to fight to speak. “Nobody.” The English makes his eyes widen, and you barely have time to question whether this move killed you or saved you, when he takes his arm off your neck and replaces it with his mouth.

Heavenly heat, hellish white light, blinding ecstasy erupts like a volcano where he begins to devour you like he hasn’t for centuries, for millennia of loneliness, and there, in the innocent hotel room, your head fills with images of everything but. Hands find his hair, knock the woollen hat off his head while his teeth trace a pleasure-trail down your neck and to your collarbone, his fingers clenching on your hips. 

You push back, off the door and into the room, standing now, supporting your own weight on weak knees and shaking breath. He steals the last of it you have left when he leaves your collarbone -- a bruise blooming ripely in the color of a plum -- to find your lips, and this, this is what salvation tastes like. Vodka and whiskey and chocolate, on lips chapped but lush and soft beyond the rough exterior. A gasping sound of want released in a hurried exhale between kisses makes him growl from somewhere in his chest. 

The vibrations reach your heart, heavy and loud and beating a march of deathly desire on your rib cage. You hold onto him with tight fists, like he will float away, because this is the only way to let go. There is a reassurance, in his hands clutching your jeans tighter, that he isn’t leaving. His fingers slip under your sweater, and then under your shirt, and you break away with a gasp as cold metal -- full hand on one side, and slim rings on the other -- meets your skin.

Then you press his hands to you tighter, let him tear your upper layers away, tug his jacket and sweater off his shoulders as he becomes well acquainted with the tops of your breasts, the parts visible above your bra. Head bowed in sacred confession, he finds rescue in your body, skin shining in the light of the beginning day behind you. A new start.

A new hiding place, he goes down on both knees, laving at your belly button, leaving you spit-shiny and cooling in the chilly air. He takes your jeans off slowly, a contrast to every other step made so far, and mouths at your mound, soaking your underwear further with slow, maddening movements of his tongue. You’ve had enough. This buzzing heat has turned to forest fire in your pulse, and you take your bra off and pull him up and towards you. 

His chest is warm against you when you fall back against the bed, his weight recognizable. The Soldier -- James, you think, for now -- buries himself in your neck with a renewed vigor. Begins to move down your body to the apex of your thighs, where you are wet. Dripping, soaking wet, just for him. The first touch of his tongue to your honey-sweet slick is an electric spark, and he lights you up like the fourth of July with every touch after. Fireworks in your irises mirror the flames licking up your spine, and his eyes meet yours when he opens them in moments of reprieve from enjoying the taste of you.

Purgatory, this limbo between right and wrong, is the closest you have been to joy in as long as you can remember. It aches in your limbs as you inch closer to the cliff’s edge of delectable joy. 

“Enough,” you say, when you ache for more, when you are empty and wanting only him inside of you, all of him, and he moves away. Trepidation in his eyes at the thought of being pushed away evaporates when you pull him back, the flow of your pushes and pulls echoing with the power of the moon, and how it brings the waves to lap at the land a reflection of how James’ chest meets yours when you have opened the buttons of his shirt.

It hangs open, a curtain around you, and you dexterously strip him of his jeans as well, toes pushing at the waistband and belt falling off the bed with a clink that sounds like the final nail in the coffin. You’ll gladly die a little death here, if he’s the executioner. 

His cock is leaking with arousal, hard against the lines of his abdomen begin to smear a shiny trail against you as well, and you take him in hand and he groans. Throbbing hot in your hand, velvet heat over solid steel hardness, and you spit in your hand before slicking him up a little more, his moans louder and unreserved in your clavicle, teeth grazing the spots he has made tender. 

Desperate man. Lonely, sweet, sad man. Your heart aches for him, and you want to give him more than his cruel lifetimes have so far. You want to give him warmth, starting with the warmth of your silk body, as he slips inside of you, slumping, his forehead pressing into your shoulders and murmuring what you think is a prayer into you. 

His hands are moving with feverish intensity over you, metal warmer now, as he throbs and pulses and then adjusts to your heat. All that while, you hold him. Hands first over his shoulder blades, then moving your right hand to his left, slipping under his hold on the sheets to entwine his fingers with yours the way he did in the street that feels miles below wherever you’re flying.

He’s so big, and you are so full, nerves prickling with electrostatic lust, that you have to focus on the swell of him above you, the hand holding yours and the shape of the rings on his fingers not to lose it right there. Then he starts moving.

And you’ll swear you’ve never felt true bliss before this moment, because James moving inside you, with slow thrusts, stretching your walls in delightful pain, is a luxury you’ve never lived before. Stealing your breath, his pace picks up, and you feel every ridge along his length on the inside of your body. Fire pools in your belly, and his hand is drawn to it. He supports himself on his metal arm, and trails the other down your torso. Obsidian shimmers on his ring finger and there is the unmistakable wink of vibranium on his little finger, as his hand dips lower to your clit, and you watch the spot where he moves in and out.

Lascivious eyes watch you watch his fingers circle your nub, tracing the path to your gratification, and they shine when you mewl, arching up, circling your hips. Climbing higher and higher, he moves faster, hits a spot in you that burns brighter than the Sun rising in the sky, and everything explodes in a supernova of heat, color behind your eyelids and warmth flooding your insides as he spills deep, growls against your throat, hand clutching your wrist when he falls forward. 

You are marked up in his artistry, a painting of pleasure in the mouth-made bruises on your neck and the fingerprints on your hips, and the circular indentations from his rings on your neck. He softens inside you, as you overflow with your combined pleasures, and you hum against the crown of his head, as you run your fingers through his scalp. Sated man, grateful man, miracle pleasure, purring in your arms, too dangerous to keep, but too comfortable a weight to let go of so soon.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #107: Angra Mainyu

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the original Shirouface, Angra Mainyu! This angy mango can turn into a dog, track mud all over the place, and also warp time and space to cheat at grail wars. 🎵 One of these things is not like the other! 🎵 I’d say he’s also really good at killing humans, but in D&D most humans aren’t that hard to kill. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

Check out the mango’s build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Yeah, I guess he is pretty great.

Race and Background

So... Angra’s kind of weird. He was human, but now he’s the sins of all mankind, so if you want the flavor build maybe a Tiefling? That being said we’re trying to turn him into a dog and we can’t wait three levels, so he’s going to be a Longtooth Shifter here. This gives him +2 Strength and +1 Dexterity, a bit of Darkvision so you don’t have to keep your tattoos lit, Keen Senses for perception proficiency, Fierce for intimidation, as well as the ability to Shift once per short rest as a bonus action. This bestial transformation lasts 1 minute, and during it you gain some temporary HP and can make a bite attack as a bonus action.

As for your background, Acolyte is a much nicer title than your real one, Ritual Sacrifice. (As long as you leave out your role in the order, Shelter of the Faithful should still work, right?) Either way, you get Religion proficiency, as well as Insight. You’re really good at sizing up your opponents, but that’s mostly because they’re always stronger than you are.

Ability Scores

We’re not doing anything fancy this time, just the standard array. You can roll if you wanna, but keep multiclassing in mind. First up, make your Intelligence as high as possible. It’s your casting modifier, and half the reason you’re so hard to kill is because you fight smart. Speaking of fighting smart, put your next scores into Constitution, then Dexterity for maximum survivability. After that I guess we can go with Strength for multiclassing and, y’know, hitting things. You might be weak, but you do have those abs going for you. After that is Wisdom to help with that insight. Finally, dump Charisma. Self-deprecation isn’t a good look king.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: You don’t even wear a shirt, let alone armor, so Unarmored Defense is right up your alley. It gives you an AC based on your dexterity and constitution scores. You can also fly into a Rage for extra damage, advantage on strength rolls, and damage resistance, all at the low low cost of not casting or concentrating on spells.

One last thing for level one- you have Strength and Constitution saving throw proficiencies, as well as two barbarian skills. You’re great at hanging in there for as long as possible, so grab Athletics and Survival proficiencies.

2. Fighter 1: Now we bounce over to fighter real quick for Two-Weapon Fighting to help you wield Zarich and Tawrich properly. You also learn how to find a Second Wind as a bonus action for a bit of healing. You can’t really get a counter attack in if you’re dead after all.

3. Wizard 1: We’ll get a second level of wizard so it makes sense later in the build, but all you really need to know right now is you can cast and prepare Spells using your Intelligence, and when you take a short rest you can use your Arcane Recovery to regain a total level of spell slots equal to half your wizard level rounded up. This only works once per long rest though, don’t abuse it.

For your spells, grab the Light cantrip for your sick tats, True Strike for a spell almost as useless as you are, Infestation, Tasha’s Caustic Brew, and Charm Person for the beginnings of your grail mud, and False Life, Mage Armor, and Shield to stay on the defensive. Charm person isn’t quite Completely Rewriting Someone’s Personality; but I mean it’s a first level spell, what did you expect.

4. Fighter 2: Okay, enough multiclassing for now- back in fighter, you get an Action Surge for a surge of action. Once per short rest, you can add an extra action to your turn. Unlike the sorcerer’s quickened spell, you can use two leveled spells at once with this. Or hit people more. That’s probably a better option for you.

5. Fighter 3: At third level you become a Battle Master for some fancy skills. Your Student of War gives you proficiency with any one artisan’s tool. I’m not totally sure what the best way to make your tats would be, but it’s probably painter’s supplies. Anyway, you also get Combat Superiority, giving you three maneuvers that you can use with Superiority Dice. You start with four d8s, and you regain them on short rests.

D&D as a system doesn’t have much in the way of counterattacks, but Brace and Riposte are probably the closest you can get without dumping 14 levels into a barbarian subclass that doesn’t fit you otherwise. The former lets you make an attack when a creature enters melee range, and the latter lets you attack when you’re missed by a melee attack. In either case, you also add the superiority die to the damage. Your last maneuver is a Tactical Assessment, which lets you add the die to Investigation, History, or Insight checks. It’s kind of cheating when you know you’re worse than everyone else, but it’s still technically an assessment.

6. Barbarian 2: It’s been 6 levels and we’re still barely a dog- clearly we need to fix that too. Second level barbarians get a Reckless Attack, which gives you advantage on all weapon attacks for the turn at the cost of taking attacks at advantage too. To balance that out, your Danger Sense gives you advantage on dexterity saves. 

7. Barbarian 3: At third level you can finally become the bad boy you were always meant to be thanks to your Form of the Beast. When you rage, you gain one of three natural weapons. 

Your Fangs let you bite creatures, and once per turn you can regain your proficiency bonus in HP if you’re bloodied.

Your Claws let you make an extra attack once per turn.

Your Tail is long enough to get the reach property, and you can use your reaction to add to your AC by moving your tail between you and an attacker.

I don’t think dog tails are long enough to do that, but you’re more of a shadow werewolf monster anyway, so it’s not like you need to work with biology.

8. Barbarian 4: Eight levels in and you finally get your first Ability Score Improvement. Bump up your Strength for a more passible amount of attack power. 

9. Barbarian 5: Our last bit of barbarism for a while nets you Fast Movement for extra move speed and an Extra Attack per attack action.

10. Fighter 4: One last bounce back to fighter for another ASI. grab some extra Constitution for more health and a tougher hide. This also makes your unarmored defense as tough as your mage armor, which should free up a spell slot or two for ya. Speaking of spells though...

11. Wizard 2: Yeah, we’re finally getting back to wizard. Your innate skill at messing with timelines will make you a Chronurgist. Unfortunately, D&D doesn’t do four day time loops. What you get instead is a Chronal Shift, spending your reaction to force a creature nearby to re-roll a d20. Unlike most roll messing-with abilities, this one takes effect after you find out if it worked or not. You can do this twice per long rest. A couple of seconds is way more convenient anyway- having to redo everything would be a pain in the ass. Your Temporal Awareness also lets you add your intelligence modifier to your initiative for better ambushes.

There aren’t other first level spells we really want, so let’s grab the low-magic Alarm and Snare. Being in a time loop is super useful for trapping people.

12. Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells. Alter Self will let you become a dog boy without having to rage, and Darkness makes things dark. You’ve got this “edgy silhouette” thing going for you in the early ascensions, it’d be a shame to ruin it just because it’s day out.

13. Wizard 4: Now that you’re starting to get spells worth using, grab the War Caster feat. This gives you advantage on concentration saves, as well as the ability to cast spells with full hands. You can also use cantrips for your opportunity attacks.

14. Wizard 5: One last level of wizard for now gives you third level spells. Spirit Shroud gives you an aura of grail mud, slowing down creatures near you and letting you deal extra necrotic damage with each attack. This also shuts down healing! Bonus. You can also Summon Shadowspawn for more material doggos with one of three moods. Furious dogs get advantage on frightened creatures, despairing dogs slow creatures in mud, and frightful dogs can hide in darkness as a bonus action.

15. Barbarian 6: That’s enough magic for a while, lets get back to hitting things. Your Bestial Soul gives you magical claws, fangs, and tails while raging, and you also get a bunch of movement options that don’t really mesh with your character. I guess the jumping boost might be useful- most type-moon characters can jump a story into the air.

16. Barbarian 7: Your Feral Instinct gives you advantage on initiative rolls, and you can just ignore being frightened if you go beast mode immediately. Speaking of, your Instinctive Pounce lets you move as part of your rage bonus action, giving you an extra half-speed of movement.

17. Barbarian 8: Use your last ASI for even more Intelligence. You’d probably use strength more, but you’re supposed to be weak, so that checks out.

18. Barbarian 9: Your Brutal Criticals give you an extra die of damage on critical hits, but you use shortswords, so it’s not going to help much. Again, pretty on point for you.

19. Barbarian 10: Tenth level beasts have an Infectious Fury, letting you dab a little bit of that grail mud into your rage weapon attacks. When you hit a creature, they need to make a wisdom save (DC 8+your constitution modifier + your proficiency bonus) or they take one of two effects. Either they’re forced to attack another creature nearby, or they take extra psychic damage. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus.

20. Wizard 6: Your capstone level nets you one last chronurgy trick- Momentary Stasis locks a creature in a time loop if they fail a constitution save, either until they take damage or the end of your next turn. While in the loop, they’re incapacitated and can’t move. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your intelligence modifier.

You also get a last couple of spells, which will really ramp up your mud production. Tidal Wave does exactly what you’d think it does, and after your foes are drenched in mud, hit them with Bestow Curse, another spell kind enough to tell you exactly what it does on the tin.

Pros:

You’ve got plenty of ways to deal damage when it isn’t your turn, and multiple effects to make those attacks more effective. Combine Brace with your Infectious Fury to drop two creatures at the same time before either have a chance to deal damage. Sorry I don’t have a pithy way to bold this one.

Even if you get stuck in a longer fight, you’re tough to kill, with 200 HP, rages, a shield spell, and ways to heal yourself, you can stick around for a long time even before factoring in any loops. (Oh hey, biting is another thing that your counterattacks make super effective)

Thanks to your multitude of multiclassing, you have a lot of variety. Your melee combat is solid, of course, but you can also use magical combat or utility spells, with just a touch of healing thrown in for when it’s absolutely necessary.

Cons:

The downside to that last point above is that you have a lack of focus, which is especially bad given the small number of ASI you have to work with. This means none of your stats are particularly impressive, so expect people to see through your illusions regularly.

You have a lot of reasons to keep your reactions open, and unlike the bonus action problem this isn’t something that you can reason out yourself- you never know when a party member will need you to chronal shift away a critical hit. You also have shield and your counterattacks tied to the same reaction, so in busier fights you’ll have to plan carefully.

Most of your low level spells involve Poison or Acid damage, two of the most resisted and immune-to types. They’re just not that strong, sorry. 

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Theory - End of Act III: The Tragedy

Been a while since I’ve done a theory vid but this one bubbled under the surface the more I thought about it when watching chapter review videos

Spoilers for One Piece up to Chapter 1002

So as of current, Chapter 1002 depicts the five Supernova fighting Kaido and Big Mom. It may look decent because the Supernova have their hits in, but nobody is attacking Big Mom - which has already hurt them dearly - and Kaido is kinda fighting with one arm tied behind his back, until Onigashima stops floating in the air by Kaido’s fire clouds they will never have his full attention.

What looms over the audience is that traditional kabuki follows a 5-Act Structure, and Act 3 usually ends with a great Tragedy before the Act 4 Climax, there’s also Hawkins’ prediction that someone will likely die. This allows fans to believe that the Supernovas vs Yonko rumble is doomed for failure. and this may be partly the case - but not the whole story.

The Battle of Attrition Typically, fights against strong adversaries last days. The Akazaya fought Kaido’s forces for Days, Ace for Jimbei for Days, Aokiji fought Akainu for Days, Roger and Whitebeard fought for Days. So unless you have extremely overwhelming power like Marineford did against an old and sickly Whitebeard, you are gonna be fighting strong opponents for a long long time. And the Supernovas don’t have that time. This is why the Yonko have such confidence right now, even though the Supernova can hurt Kaido, they are still confident that they cannot outlast their endurance. And 1002 does prove that correct, for Zoro to land a strong hit he’ll have to exhaust himself with Enma and the remaining supernova were unable to use their haki well enough to dodge the Yonko’s attacks. This will also be worse on Luffy because his current state is only a temporary boost. Gear Fourth may soon run out. And then Luffy is a sitting duck.

The Sacrificial Play: Overview My theory right now is that Gear Fourth will be running out soon, maybe even next chapter where Luffy is the only one still gunning at Kaido. I also think that using Ryou in Gear Fourth may cause the timer of his state to fade quicker, since he’s using more Haki to enhance his attacks - thus why he used Red Roc in Gear Third. Luffy has already used Gear Fourth on a Number as well, so there is reason to believe that Gear Fourth is nearing the end of its timer. So what happens to Luffy when he cannot use Haki for 10 minutes? The Yonko will probably toy with him a bit more, not fully wasting him as of yet because they want to make an example of him. I expect this because we’ve seen this before in Luffy’s fights, against stronger opponents he tends to have a ‘time out’ between fighting; against Katakuri, Doflamingo, Arlong, Crocodile, Lucci and Moria there hit a point where Luffy was drawn away from the battle or the enemy distracted by another opponent so he could recover and return to the fight, this was even done in Marineford. The question that falls now is who will give Luffy this respite? So far I can see 3 options, all of which are self sacrifice. The Sacrificial Play: Kid

Luffy’s prison buddy adventure with Kid has often been one-sided. Kid acknowledges Luffy but refuses to work with him. After all, Luffy is his rival, in all manner of sense he is the closest opposition he has to their dreams and yet they are also quite similar. 

There’s also the matter that Kid may not be as immune to Luffy’s whims. We all remember that face he pulled in Udon, staring down Luffy in a begrudging nature, there can be a few reasons why Kid may decide to take Luffy from the fight and perhaps throw him into the hole in the Dome’s skull.

If he does, Kid will be able to shrug it off as either ‘You’re getting in my way Straw Hat’ - given his desire to take Kaido’s head for himself and the rivalry of the three captains, or stating it as repayment for saving him and Killer from drowning at Udon. Of the three this is my least likely one. Not that it cannot happen, it would be pretty cool, but I feel as though the next two will have more emotional responses towards it.

The Sacrificial Play: Zoro

It wouldn’t be the first time that someone of immense strength went to kill Luffy and Zoro came in like a bullet. Zoro could very well kick Luffy down the dome in order to sacrifice himself for his captain again - knowing better than the other Supernova the limitations of Luffy’s Gear Fourth and that the healer Marco is waiting below.

This would definitely give Luffy more motivation to get back into the fight, and perhaps time for Zoro to stand out alone in a fight against two Yonko using Enma - a weapon that certainly has both Yonko worried - as far as he can manage it.

Zoro is highly likely and it’d definitely lead to some heart-in-mouth reactions from fans, but we don’t expect a death flag on Zoro here, this isn’t the same as Thriller Bark and he’s literally just got a new sword. If anything it’d be a valiant sacrifice but not one where people may worry what happens when Luffy returns to the top of the dome.

The Sacrificial Play: Law

For my money, Law is the person who will move Luffy - and Zoro - away from the fight to save them. In past chapters he’s stubbornly trying to deny that he has any loyalties to the Straw Hats and his loyalty has been questioned throughout Wano’s acts. We are constantly told that ‘Pirate Alliances often end in betrayal’ which would make this a difference of the norm, he could also be the one Hawkins is talking about since he knows for a fact that Law is on the loose.

In Marineford, Law saved Luffy and while that did mean that Luffy was indebted to Law that debt may be repaid in Law’s eyes for help with his revenge plot against Doflamingo, that being said Law may still feel a responsibility to Luffy as a doctor, the Hippocratic Oath coming into play. There is also that Law does truly believe in Luffy’s strength and also knows Gear Fourth’s limits having seen it in Dressrosa. 

It would also not be the first time Law, Killer and Kid have worked together, they fought together to battle a Pacifista in Sabaody and at the very least lived to escape, so there might be confidence in forming a team like that to at least hold down the Yonko until Luffy comes back.

While fans believe Law to be safe because he found a new purpose, there is threat of him dying. He confronted Kaido without his crew, including the three he brought to Onigashima and he struggled to fight Doflamingo alone - if Hawkins confirms that the odds are for Law to Luffy that can add more urgency too. He is a side character beloved, strong but also has the same mental weaknesses as Ace did, it does feel like we are building for Law to at least bet his life on Luffy and Zoro, Shambles-ing both to where he put the Akazaya (which could be the same place Yamato is to bring him back into the raid) leading to another tower climb where Luffy and Zoro will have to cross King, Queen and reconvene with the remaining crewmates, Marco, Tama, Drake, maybe Hawkins and Apoo, and possibly Carrot and Wanda, to return to the fight where they’ll find a near-dead Law, Killer and Kid - which in turn will lead to a larger party including the entire crew fighting the Yonko for the climactic stage of the arc.

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 7

So i kind of live, and this continues on. 

first part here   previous part here      ao3 here 

             Stephanie twitched when she finished comparing financial resources needed to handle a covert operation, butterfly garden underground, AND manage to keep it secret from the rest of Paris. Cass checked her numbers and it became very apparent that only—and she stressed the only—someone insanely wealthy and is a recluse could be Hawkmoth. And in Paris, that meant one man—Gabriel Agreste.

             Cass was the one to narrow it down to him, and Steph argued with her about it being impossible as “He’s been akumatized!” Honestly, Cass was acting like the Ladyblogger who published one of her early ‘could be Hawkmoth’ theories with Gabriel Agreste as a option with “probably had Mayura as Hawkmoth in her place” argument. It was retracted, and there was a apology put up for it that included: this list was not intended to be serious guys—I put multiple known akuma victims here and ways they could have been Hawkmoth no matter how public the akumatazation was. Did not expect this one to be taken so seriously, my sincerest apologies to M. Agreste and Mm. Sancoeur.”

             Steph could smell the ‘I was forced to do this’ off the apology, and did her best not to agree with Cass that it was forced as then Cass would argue it was a serious accusation put in mixed with less serious ones to get people thinking. To get Ladyblog followers to take notes and pass it to Ladybug and Chat Noir for further investigation. Which, would be a good way to contact the heroes. Except…

             “She interviews the Miraculous team on a bi-weekly basis Cass, she’d have plenty of opportunities to tell them her theories.”

             Cass crossed her arms. While they might heavily disagree on this aspect of who Hawkmoth and Mayura are, there is another aspect that is held in contention between the two of them…

             “Plus, Hawkmoth and Mayura are totally a couple, and everyone knows Gabriel Agreste is too hung up on his wife’s disappearance to consider moving on, let alone do it.”

             “Professionals.”

             Stephanie rolled her eyes. Cass is good at body language. There is no doubt about her being better than most. However—Hawkmoth is an egomaniac. Egomaniacs don’t give up when their goal is in reach for a henchman getting ill or injured. Not unless said hench is, well, romantically involved with them. She knew from watching Gotham’s underbelly for years—their romantic relationship had to be rock solid for it to even be considered. Married or may-as-well-be.

             “He’s ended how many battles early for her? Totally bordering on, if not actually, married.”

             Stephanie paused when two girls joined them, the ladyblogger herself with a too big grin, and soup girl if Cass wasn’t mistaken.

             “Hawkmoth and Mayura relationship debate?” The blogger grinned.

             Stephanie nodded, as yes, and this is serious. “Cass is convinced they’re just professionals with standards.”

             Soup girl groaned. “Not this again!”

             “Girl, I told you, I’m not the only one who thinks they’re a couple, and serious.”

             Stephanie grinned as Cass huffed. A vote for Team Hawkyura!

             “I told you, Hawkmoth is too obsessed with the miraculous to be capable of human emotions, and Mayura is too smart to fall for him. He’s probably paying her a lot or cancelling out a debt for her to work for him how she is,” Soup girl reasoned.

             Stephanie shook her head while Cass rose victoriously, scooting a bit closer to her fellow ‘stop shipping the villains’ teammate. Which is ridiculous—it isn’t shipping if it isn’t even subtext at this point.

             “No, no,” the blogger leaned forward, settled into their table on Stephanie’s side. “That means the relationship would have to be healthy, and its perfect possible for it to extremely unhealthy and for Mayura to be in a bad relationship with someone who isn’t wroth her time. Why else would she keep using a broken miraculous that’s making her sick?”

             Stephanie nodded at the blogger’s side. “And abusive relationships can happen to anyone. Back in our home city,” Steph gestured between herself and Cass. “A top psychologist went villain because she was manipulated into thinking the guy just needed her love to fix him and fell into a life of crime and wanted to stay by the guy’s side regardless of how many times he hurt her.”

             Cass nodded at that, frowning at that. She wasn’t there for Harley Quinn, henchman of Joker. Stephanie was. She did see the aftermath and bits of Harley’s (ongoing) recovery.

             Soup girl shook her head. “Its not that, everyone knows the Peacock is emotions so she would know he’s toying with her. She would know she deserves better. She’s staying because of finances or blackmail or maybe even being able to fix something that’s unfixable.”

             Cass hummed in agreement. “Needs to survive.”

             Soup girl nodded. “There’s no motivator more powerful than that.”

             “Um, love,” Stephanie supplied. She may not be the best at all its forms, but loving gotham’s citizens enough to want to save them was part of what drove her to become Spoiler in the first place. Spite too, but that didn’t seem like the best thing to mention at the time.

             “Exactly,” the blogger passed Stephanie one of her cookies. “Love makes people do crazy things, or did you forget Hercules.”

             Soup girl looked exhausted at that, pinching her brow. “We agreed never to bring Disney logic into these arguments.”          

             “The quote is true—People do crazy things when they’re in love. And Mayura is in love with Hawkmoth, and he’s in love with her.”

             Soup girl rolled her eyes. “Then you’d have to give up the Gabriel and Natalie theory for good. He’s still in love with his wife, and he treats Natalie more like a tablet than a person. No way that’s how he’d treat someone he’s in love with.”

             “Are we forgetting how he treats you and Adrien?”

             Stephanie and Cass exchanged a look. Stephanie focused on soup girl then. Really looked at her. Tired, twitchy, all signs of needing and not getting a good night’s rest.

             “Okay, he goes way overboard with supervising and has control issues, I’m not saying he doesn’t, ever. But he doesn’t let me take commissions unless my grades are up there, hires tutors for me and Adrien regularly, and he’s let up on controlling who Adrien can be safely friendly with to avoid crazy fans ever since I joined.”

             “You joined, therefore are something he can control, and are therefore not going to endanger Adrien or Gabriel since it would hurt your career,” the blogger explained.

             “Sounds like Hawkmoth,” Stephanie added absently, then froze as Cass grinned at her. back track time, ASAP. “But it can’t be since the guy was akumatized.”

             Soup girl looked relieved at what Stephanie said. Though, thinks weren’t looking up much on that front. She might have Batgirl pay the man a visit… after hacking the girl’s schedule and Adrien’s and seeing how much this man really was trying to control them both.

             Cass raised an eyebrow at her.

             “Thank you—can you get Alya off that train too?”

             The blogger leveled Stephanie a look that reminded her too much of Lois Lane that time she tried to interview the Batfam on Gotham crime rates and the effectiveness of vigilantes in a city that was entrenched in corruption and if it was better to just gut the Gotham justice system and start anew with different training and such, to prevent villain strength and intensity escalation. In short—she scared Stephanie. Just a little.

             “I think maybe Lois Lane could, but I doubt it.”

             “Lois Lane is the hero the world is not good enough for and her word is worth more than all of Metropolis.”

             “Not that hard to achieve,” Stephanie said without thinking. There is a lot of property damage there after all, they just have a more white collar-exclusive criminal element. Plus, Lex keeps his bigger projects in other places that are harder for Superman to find.

             Soup girl snorted at that.

             The blogger took offense.

             Stephanie would say all-in-all, not her worst time out on a mission doing detective work in broad daylight.

--

             Marinette was quick to transform into Multimouse and meet up with Rena in the Lourve. It wasn’t the first time either—Alix’s dad took to helping her translate Gaurdian since she hadn’t learned it all before Fu died. Besides her, he was the only one who could read the spell book… though that reduced the miraculous grimoire to nothing but the potions. It held the history of the kwami, how to summon and bind them, and even how to craft weapons for them. It included instructions on how to become a Guardian and what was required of her the sole guardian, and how the Order operated with mentions of ways it could be reformed should it ever vanish.

             It was the closest thing Marinette had to a mentor on how to re-build the Order and choose members, and how to make the best choices as Guardian. It even listed allied organizations and how much stock should be put into trusting them.

             But right now, she wasn’t there as Ladybug to go over another passage or talk about possible meaning and philosophies (did they really mean her job is to kill to protect the miraculous, or like, be that ready to ensure they remained safe?) or the whole “is the soul splitting a metaphor or actual magic” (magic). No, she was there as Multimouse, with Rena Rouge, as representatives of the Miraculous Team to meet up with the Amazonian Historian sent by The Former Ladybug, Hippolyta.

             “Greetings Alwphekion,” the woman nodded at Rena. “Muidion,” she acknowledged Multimouse. “I am Vupyte of Themyscira, and our leading historian on the miraculous. How may I be of assistance, young Champions?”

             Multimouse stepped forward, forgetting she wasn’t Ladybug at the moment. This question had been burning in her mind since she was told of the missing pair. “Could you tell us how the ladybug and black cat miraculous would interact with the main five if it wasn’t for Hawkmoth?”

             Rena glanced at Multimouse, knowing that something was off. It was possible Marinette may be more involved intellectually than she’d been letting on… though given her unofficial spy-work, it was possible that Marinette was Ladybug’s first choice in help… which lead to questions Rena had to keep silent… until Hawkmoth was defeated.

             “Ah, that is both simple and complex. If you wouldn’t mind,” Vupyte gestured for the pair to sit with her. “I was expecting something like that to come from Alwphekion, not you Muidion.”

             Multimouse would have been flustered a few years ago. Hell, even a few month ago, before Fu was compromised, she would have panicked a bit. But right now?

             “Ladybug tasked me to get any information to help her rebuild the Order. I won’t fail her.” She couldn’t fail the kwami. Especially Tikki who never gave up on her, even when Marinette was ready to throw in the towel a hundred times over and give her miraculous to Alya—the brave one she once had to mimic to handle being Ladybug.

             “Ah.” Vupyte leaned back. “No wonder there’s such a storm in your eyes.”

             Multimouse didn’t know how to handle that, so she brushed it aside.

             Rena put a hand on her knee and squeezed.

             Multimouse was glad she wasn’t alone in this.

             “That story goes back far beyond when my people interacted with the miraculous. Perhaps I could have a figure you trust help me digitize my research on the history in full for your Ladybug?”

             Multimouse nodded. That… “Director Kubdel was vetted by Ladybug previously for his discretion and understanding of how sensitive the miraculous and miraculous matters are.”

             Vupyte agreed to use the man at a later date. “For now, I can give you an overview of how the work together.”

             “That would be sufficient.” Multimouse did her best to copy M. Agreste’s professional affect. To hide how out of her depths she was at the moment.

             Vupyte grinned. “First off, The Savior, your Ladybug, has the role of creation. Her role in the group is to guide them to growth, to safety. She is your strategist in battle and the team’s healer. You know this already. She is the only one able to undo the Destroyer—your Chat Noir’s—abilities. However, she can only undo his damage so long as she believes it needs her intervention. Should she find his judgement—and his punishments for those violating the contract between those under the Miraculous’ protection, the Order, Champion and Kwami—be just, she cannot undo what he did.”

             Multimouse felt her heart seize. Plagg mentioned the Atlantians tried to convince a Fox into destroying a rival kingdom, a kingdom that was not doing as the Atlantians’ claimed. When the Fox refused… Plagg never said what happened after that.

             She knew only a third of the Atlantian’s survived the sinking from what they’d released to the public about their history.

             “A ladybug is given all the creative force that exists between her and her black cat, while the cat is given all the ability to detect danger. Half of each of their souls are swapped to ensure this ability switch remains, and that their bond is unbreakable so long as they are called on as Champions. The cat protects her from harm, and she supplies him with what is needed. They are only ever called on in times of absolute crisis—when the Contract is violated, or when the world’s balance is nearing a breaking point.”

             Rena was too still by Multimouse, piecing things together. Multimouse hoped she didn’t pass this on to the others… not until Marinette was certain they were safe to remain in the Order and that they want to be in it—that they don’t feel obligated to out of duty but truly want to protect the kwami. Even if it means never being a hero again.

             “The turtle shields them both—the Cat in battle and the ladybug when healing. They can even bring forth another weapon, though what it is, there is no record that we have found reliable.”

             Multimouse raised an eyebrow.

             “Shelter?”

             The Amazonian shook her head. “No Muidion, something else entirely… the incomplete records I found mentioned people being pulled to the turtle, feeling absolute safety and complete trust in them no matter what happened around them. What causes this, is unknown.”

             Multimouse felt the need to roll her eyes. she was fairly certain it was a cross between ‘must parent them all’ and the turtle’s capacity to ensure nothing broke Shelter. Possibly making it opaque, or something else. She’d ask Wayzz when Nino was asleep.

“Often the turtle focuses on getting civilians out of the area to safety. They are often aided by the Peacock, who creates a creature from a single emotion and ties it to an object, to direct its actions. The turtle protects those in danger with their shelter while the peacock’s creation and the peacock keep enemy combatants busy.

             “The butterfly may check for spies among their ranks, potential traitors too by their emotions but that is often another’s role. They often connect members across distances with those outside of their ranks, acting as a diplomat and choosing new members. At times, they might even make use of their full ability and create a champion of their own, granting them the power to make an army to help the cat while following the ladybug’s plan, or to test a possible candidate’s worth by seeing what they do when given power, and how it is used while having the failsafe of taking it away again.

             “The bee tends to fight beside the Cat, at times ordering the butterfly’s champion should their connection fail, and is ready to take down said champion should they betray the group with a single sting. The bee answers to the ladybug and cat alone—following the pair’s vision and ensuring it is executed whenever one or both of the pair is absent.

             “Then there is the fox, like you Alwphekion. I assume you have grown fond of your ally,” Vupyte gestured to Rena’s flute. “They let you craft any illusion you want. But I doubt you were told of the true power of the fox.”

             Multimouse shifted at that. “The Gaurdian was young when their temple was destroyed. I doubt they hid it intentionally.”

             Vupyte paused at that. “I did not mean it like that Muidion, simply that the Fox is given little emphansis by the Order to the point it was given a dishonorable title for their champions to inherit, the Deceiver,” Vupyte spat the title like sour milk. “Alwphekion is the one who sees all in their truth, through every lie one has spoken or believed. A fox is not a crafter of fallacy, merely presenting what one feels or desires. Their greatest gift is in their true voice, the one that none can lie or withhold information upon being addressed by it.”

             Rena leaned forward, focusing on Vupyte. “How?”

             Vupyte sighed. “The records of that were destroyed in Alexandria’s flames. It is a power a fox can only use with great conviction and motivation. Until then, they can only sense deceptions in shades while the truth rings of their own melody according to legend.”

             Rena stared at her lap.

             Multimouse put a hand on her arm. “We’ll figure it out.”

             Rena leaned into the touch then, sighing. “I have a question of my own, if you don’t mind.”

             “Certainly I do not,” Vupyte assured. “I am here to help the Miraculous Champions however I am allowed by you. I owe your predecessors more than I could ever repay.”

             Rena nodded at that. “What are the chances a butterfly user could make themself a champion?”

             Vupyte opened and closed her mouth, lips pressing and pursing until she found words to her liking. “It is not impossible for them to do so. They would have to drop their transformation to do so, which would prevent proper guidance, and would need to give themself a very limited power.”

             Rena took a deep breath.

             Multimouse took a sharp intake. That changed the rules. A lot.

             “So, hypotethetically, if one’s power could only affect a specified amount of things at a time, say, put into a given space and then whatever new thing was put in was then ejected from said space,” Rena continued, “would that be a feasible power for a butterfly’s champion to use without a butterfly guiding them?”

             Multimouse felt her stomach drop at Vupyte’s hesitance.

             “That is… rather specific.” Vupyte pondered it for a moment more. “While I can’t be certain of the logisitics, it is one of the safest abilities to give in those circumstances. Tight limitations, a weak ability that lacks army-growing capacity, so no need to use the butterfly champion to connect their chosen champion to their subjects, and it is straight forward so no need for an explanation, or perhaps the lack of one would make their reaction to discovering this limit more genuine.”

             Multimouse felt sick.

             Things aligned quickly in her head. Finances. Schedules. Timing. Targets of preference—teens at Dupont where Adrien goes and is able to talk about his day to either Natalie or Gorilla, who would report it back to him. Even Adrien’s concerns for them—weaknesses, insecurities, fears…

             It made too much sense.

             Multimouse stood up. “I have to go, excuse me.”

             Rena gawked at her. “Wait, Mul—”

             Multimouse ran out quickly, running to an alley to detransform and get Tikki to get her head on straight as Marinette spiraled.

             Gabriel Agreste couldn’t be Hawkmoth.

             He couldn’t be.

--

             Outside the alley, Tim, Cass and Stephanie froze as the girl Tim was convinced was Ladybug appeared. She was in a grey suit before.

--

             Rena looked back at Vupyte, hoping her girl got the air she needed. She knew Marinette would come around eventually, but for now…

             “One moment.”

             Alya sent off a quick text to Aurore. The girl was good at keeping Marinette distracted, out of a spiral, and helping her process.

             Aurore confirmed she found Marinette in an alley bordering on a panic attack and was taking her home.

             Rena sighed in relief.

             “Okay, now that that’s settled, there’s something you didn’t spill.”

             Vupyte smiled at Rena. “You are a clever Alwphekion.”

            ��Rena raised an eyebrow.

             Vupyte sighed. “A ladybug and black cat take the longest to mature in their team. It is no fault of their own; a side effect of half of their being being doubled and the other being taken. Of the two, Ladybug requires the longest time to come into her own as a strategist and healer.”

             Rena snorted at that. “Have you seen Ladybug?”

             Vupyte sucked in her breath through her teeth. “I have.”

             Rena watched her more intensely then.

             “She is not even out of her training suit, while the rest of yours have become personalized, implying that you are not being overtaken by your role. That you have blended with your kwami and role, rather than be consumed by it.”

             Rena froze at that.

             “What do you mean be consumed by it.” it didn’t come out like a question, it fell out like doubt defending fear.

             “Ladybugs fill in any holes in their group. Right now you are missing two, and one is injured,” Vupyte noted.

             Rena filled in the blanks. “Until we get a Butterfly and fix the Peacock, Ladybug isn’t really Ladybug, is she?”

             Vupyte sighed. “She is a child trying to run a home alone until they are both present as allies.”

             Rena frowned at that. “Then why isn’t Chat affected?”

             Vupyte looked far older then. “Have you not noticed that he can only extend and shorten his staff?”

             Rena opened her mouth, only for no words to come out.

             “He should be able to turn his weapon into whatever hand-held weapon he desires at that moment to protect your team. He cannot fulfill his role as Judge and Protector proper. He may be his own person within his transformation and within the team, but he lack his full range. Ladybug has her full range of abilities, but lacks her individuality as a Ladybug proper. Her team is incomplete, so she must continue to cover and cover and cover until it is complete with all five of her strongest allies at her side. Until then, whoever is under the mask will give and give and give until there is nothing left.”

             Rena swallowed thickly. “How do I stop that?”

             Vupyte leveled Rena with a few words. “Find Hawkmoth and Mayura, take their miraculous, and once the miraculous is fixed, hand them to worthy champions—ones who are strong judges of others for the butterfly, and of who is in need for the peacock.”

             Rena felt her mind waver to Rose for the peacock—the girl who fought for everyone. She was blanking on a butterfly though—a strong judge of character was hard to think of as a core characteristic of someone she knew she could trust.

             “You have one in mind,” Vupyte said quietly. “Good. You will have to find another for the other, or an ally of yours must find candidates. The sooner this is determined, the sooner your Ladybug will come into her own. The only other way… would be dangerous.”

             Rena nodded. She texted Chat and Carapace to meet her to talk about what she learned. They’d protect Ladybug. Their Leader. Paris’ Savior. And their friend.

--

             Aurore is many things. Miss Sting is a necessity to keep Paris safe. Aurore of the weather girl duo on KIDZ+. Miss Mandeliev’s favorite to call on for environmental studies and among Bustier’s favorite to read a well researched report. She is also one of poor Marinette’s longest standing friends, and one of the only people who can catch her mid attack and get her to pull out of and process her spiral without setting off a different bout of anxiety.

              Which is why she captured the akuma in a jar, hid it in her backpack until Chat or LAdybug could handle it, and nabbed her friend in the first place when Alya messaged her. She is not on the best of terms with the reporter (she might be holding a grudge over Lady Wifi calling her a hack and may have gone on a spree fact checking the Ladyblog in the early days and found holes on a Certain Person who has been since excommunicated by the students of Dupont and left the school in disgrace within a less than a week of attending). Especially since she insisted on being Mairnette’s best friend when Marinette has her already. honestly, the other never has been the best at seeing the obvious…

             Like the fact that Marinette’s anxiety up ticked with Ladybug’s issues. Or that around the time Chat Noir took on being Mr. Bug, Marinette was injured. OR that Chat hangs around Marinette a lot when Marinette is around an attack, even covering for her.

             Aurore dealth in meteorology and environmental sciences. She dealth with public appearances, PR, and being a child star. It is not her place to point out that Marinette is clearly (a) Chat and Ladybug’s confidant somehow, (b) a member of the team (c) Ladybug or some combination thereof. She didn’t want to make a call, she didn’t have evidence to back it up, and she didn’t run on intuition like Alya.

             Aurore is a Bee, and they operate best within rules.

             Ladybug made not looking into identities a rule. One she’s certain Rena has been ignoring… but Miss Sting follows Ladybug’s word to the letter. She has not looked into anyone’s identity and actively ignored any possible relveations in favor of working on her civilian life and focusing on capturing akuma before someone becomes akumatized, and bringing her catches to Ladybug or Chat for purification or destruction respectfully. Depending on how schedules lined up for patrols.

             Now, Aurore is content listening to Marinette ramble about baking soda and baking powder with buttermilk on her latest recipe and how that connects to their chemistry homework (as they were both smart enough to dodge the math that goes into physics, unlike Adrien or Nino and Rose who were naïve enough to take music theory).

             That doesn’t stop her from seeing faint movement on their school roof in reflections.

             Ladybug may not have made it a rule to protect Marinette. Chat may not have stated such either, but his actions told her it was a priority. And her duties as Marinette’s longest unstrained friendship demanded she monitor the situation.

             Once Marinette went down for snacks, aurore snuck into her friend’s bathroom and transformed to send a single message” I think Chat’s princess has a stalker now. Keep an eye on repeats in her environment.”

--

             Pegasus was furious when he saw the message. Cowboy was hacking camera in the area as they spoke with the other members of the team.

             Rena paled and Carapace looked oddly dangerous in that moment.

             Chat Noir and Ryuuko were the most deadly of the group… Chat’s suit almost… moving, but it had to be a trick of the light. Ryuuko had the same look Rena did when Carapace did something particularly dangerous—like refuse to flee before his time ran out and somehow stayed transformed beyond the standard five minutes after using shelter through sheer force of will alone.

             Ryuuko turned to Chat with a most Peculiar shade of anger. “I will be shadowing her.”

             It was not a question, but a demand.

             “Shouldn’t we check with Ladybug?” Pegasus asked while continuing to check camera. Nothing. Nothing at all.

             This must have been what was setting his friend on edge these last few days. Someone stalking her, but just out of a camera’s reach. Professional…

             Pegasus desperately hoped it was some paparazzi after Marinette the Designer’s secret identity, or even MDC. Anything but someone going after her for something… something he wouldn’t let cross his mind.

             Chat shot him one look that obliterated the option entirely. Pegasus may not know who his comrades are outside of the mask, but he’d be a fool not to remember that Marinette was a spy on Gabriel Agreste. That she was in constant danger as a civilian.

             Was it Hawkmoth?

             Mayura?

             Someone they hired?

             He didn’t know, and he needed to. Needed to protect his friend.

             She believed in him when he wasn’t sure of himself. She argued against his worst insecurities (nuisance, annoyance, best left forgotten) and proved she likes Max for Max. For his rambles, for his excitement and passion and his own brand of sass to their friends.

             King Monkey appeared with a rare serious expression. He didn’t know of Marinette’s involvement at all—only Chat, Ladybug, Alya and himself did—but King must know Marinette. Because that look on his face reminded Max of a friend he’d seen punch someone a little too hard for their hand to keep Max safe from a pair ready to hurt him for his mumbling as a child.

             “Whoever is doing this,” King Monkey stated with an eerily calm. “I’m calling the right to make their life a bit too chaotic.”

             “Get in line,” Rena growled, her flute ready at a moment’s notice.

--

             Elsewhere three gothamites were passed out in the same room. They decided to take a break and watch a movie together.

             They had no idea the Very Displeased eldest of the batchildren had entered the room and forced them each in a separate bed, or that he allowed a certain “demon spawn” to add a variety of traps that, while they all knew how to escape at this point, were still ass to get out of and made it clear they were in hot water.

--

             Jason hoped things worked out for the best… after his screw up, he figured Dickie and Demon Spawn should at least have a fighting chance. Or at least Nightwing would have a better chance at convincing the Justice League and the Miraculous Team they meant no harm.

             He hopes.

--- 

hope you enjoyed!

BTW we have fanart by @thegreysman!!! here which tumblr is rudely not letting me show off. 

@heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace@jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04 @bisha43rbs @izang

[skz222]

nsfw alphabet (seo changbin)

A - Aftercare

Changbin loves taking care of you after sex. He wipes you off and definitely loves to shower right after almost every time together. Be assured he’ll do small things like wash your hair for you or wash your back while doing so and making sure to maintain this level of intimacy with you no matter what. Showering rarely leads to round 2, but once you get out is a different story. 

B - Body Part

On you, he loves your petite frame the most because he likes to tower over you, even if it’s just a little bit more than usual. But your eyes literally make him tremble, he needs eye contact, whether during sex or just over breakfast in the morning and your eyes make him literally weak.

On himself, he loves his arms of course. He loves being a “protector” even if he is still a sweetheart in and out of the bedroom. It makes him happy and satisfied knowing he makes you feel safe and that he can do things like satisfy you by using his strength in bed.

C - Cum

Honestly, he prefers just to cum inside of you and not much else. It saves clean up but it’s also the closest he can get to you in a physical sense. It takes him out of the “moment” to pull out and cum anywhere else and it almost...turns him off? In a way, he just wants to become “one” together like this, even if he doesn’t understand why entirely.

D- Dirty Secret

Bin wants nothing more than to fuck you in front of a mirror/window, like pressed up against it type of in front. The window more so if you guys are higher up in a hotel room or something rather than at home, just for the risk and to “show you off” in this way. It gets him off to think someone could see how well you’re taking his dick and you’ll probably never see them back home.

He likes the mirror because while he loves to fuck you from behind, he almost can’t stand not being able to see your face and have that eye contact/see your reactions during sex. He needs it to get off both physically and mentally, so nearly every time he’s behind just know it’ll be in front of a mirror of some kind.

E - Experience

Somewhat experienced but only from researching a lot nd not so much from “hands on” experience. He reads smuts or fics about himself sometimes just to see what people expect from him and what people really want him to do in bed and that’s where he’s picked up his nuances and subtle skill with being a mid dom. 

F - Favorite Position

Standing up, pounding into you from behind while pulling your hair back and holding you in place against the mirror/wall with the other hand, sometimes rubbing your clit instead but it usually alternates. Being able to “close you in” up against something but still be in the position of power from behind encompasses everything Changbin needs to fall apart but also make you literally tremble in his arms until he has to carry you himself to the bed once you’re done.

G - Goofy

Almost never is goofy or laughing, even if something funny happens. He just moves past it so as to not embarrass you or make you feel shy. It would also take him a bit too out of the moment for him, so if he does end up laughing or cracking up, it’d probably cut things short to be resumed later on after he regains his composure.

H - Hair

Almost always bare simply for convenience and hygiene sake, but honestly doesn’t care what you do with your grooming. As long as you’re doing what makes you the most comfortable, that’s all that matters to him. Whenever he isn’t completely bare, it’s always well trimmed and short.

He just doesn’t enjoy being sweaty at the end of the day especially since he’s a bit too conscious of his hygiene.

I - Intimacy

Always extremely intimate, even when things are a bit rougher. Even if it’s not through words or actions, he always makes the atmosphere intimate and close with his energy and feelings towards you. He likes to do small things like move your hair out of your face, hold your hand or rub your face with his thumb no matter how rough or romantic the sex is, just to let you know it’s always you first.

J - Jack Off

Honestly, doesn’t jack off a lot. It’s more of a “why would I when I have you” kind of thing, so even if you’re both going a while without having any sex, he’ll stay without any most of the time. 

K - Kinks

crushing (giving) - this one isn’t in the extreme sense, but he loves to be on top and have his whole body and weight on top of you and pressed as close to your body as possible. He loves feeling you entirely underneath him, and being close is something he just needs, he’s even like this during cuddling.

spanking (giving) - he just loves the power that comes with it and seeing the red marks come and go, but he definitely wouldn’t do it hard enough to bruise or draw blood.

dacryphilia (giving) - he only likes this very slightly, he doesn’t want to make you sob or anything but seeing your makeup run and cry trying to take him all in your mouth or inside is all he really needs and makes him really, really turned on (like already ready for round 2 or 3)

L - Location

Anywhere that isn’t too spacious. He likes when the sounds are really close and it feels really close. Fucking somewhere like a practice room or something is totally fine though, he just prefers more intimate places. Even somewhere like a car or something is a really fun and exciting idea for him and he’d love thinking of you riding him in the back seat while he pumps up into you.

M - Motivation

Honestly, anything really relaxing gets him going because his life is fast paced enough that he gets caught up and lost in the moments like watching a movie together or cooking breakfast together in the morning. Those are the moments that really make him want you more than anything. 

N - NO

Changbin definitely does not want to hurt you in any significant way at all, nothing too painful or anything that leaves bruises. He is down fro some light scratching that could leave some faint marks but nothing that leaves permanent scarring or could draw a lot of blood. 

He would take any incident like this super seriously and it’d be really hard for him to follow through or stay in the moment doing anything like this, he’s too concerned for you.

O - Oral

He loves both of course, but he definitely prefers giving. It’s more of a power thing to be able to hold you down and overstimulate you. Of course he loves to receive as well, but on any given day he’s going down on your first before anything else happens and doing so again at least once after he finishes.

P - Pace

It definitely varies of course but 80% of the time it’s intense and on the rougher side as opposed to slower and more romantic speeds. He’s a deep stroker for sure, but he can tend to jackhammer sometimes but not in a way that’s without purpose, if you feel me.

He changes up the tempo during so it even varies between sex, just so he can last longer and go back and forth between foreplay and laying pipe.

Q - Quickie

Quickies are definitely commonplace for you guys, simply because he really enjoys the spontaneous aspect of them and ‘getting caught up’ so much so that you’re fucking on the kitchen floor right before you both have to be out the door or anything like that.

But even if he doesn’t have time to make you cum during a quickie, trust me he makes up for it later (and he definitely keeps track).

R - Risk

He likes a moderate amount of risk, and is always trying to see which locations/scenarios you’re comfortable with way before he even tries anything so he knows where is and isn’t appropriate to eve fantasize about.

S - Stamina

Changbin can typically go 2 rounds normally, even on a bad day. But if you’re willing, he can go up to 5 throughout a whole day, especially if you guys are just left alone for the day or it’s a special day.

He doesn’t typically just go one round unless it’s a quickie or you run out of time.

T - Toys

Doesn’t really enjoy toys, but is definitely willing to use any you want to try out for sure. If you would want it to be a regular thing he’d also be fine with that, he just wouldn’t introduce anything himself.

U - Unfair

Definitely a bit of a tease, especially in public just because that’s more ingrained in his personality. He’d like to rile you up because it’s really satisfying to him but wouldn’t really be trying to do anything until later. This is unfair depending on how playful you are back, but best believe he is pounding you later at home.

V - Volume

He’s fairly quiet but only because he only really likes to moan and anything directly to you (into your ear, etc) but it’s particularly if you guys aren’t alone in the space where you’re having sex or it’s a more romantic time for you. 

If you’re alone however, he gets LOUD. Like even the spanking gets extra loud and so does the sound of skin slapping. He just really enjoys being immersed entirely when you guys are able to.

W - Wild Card

He really wants to join the mile high club with you, especially in a secretive way like where he’s flying for work and you just “happen” to be there and rendezvous in the first class bathroom. The thought of almost being caught in a safer place like an airplane while you’re riding him and he’s grabbing you from behind and holding you close while pulling your hair and asking you “You like the way daddy fucks your tight little pussy baby?” in your ear, it’s literally his biggest fantasy.

X - Xray

Changbin’s a solid 6 inches, it curves to the right a little and it’s thicker towards the tip but still fairly decent girth the whole way around. Smoother but still has a few not-so-prominent veins around the middle.

Y - Yearning

He’s always hungry for you but is really particularly good at not really showing it until the time is “right” or until you give him the go. There really isn’t a time where he isn’t wanting you, even if he’s generally distracted or preoccupied at the time.

Z - ZzZ

Really only sleeps after you sleep or have made it clear that you’e sleepy enough to fall asleep soon. He’s a cuddler, and loves to just rest after sex once you guys are finished for the night.

[archetypal-archivist]

Sky’s Limit- Hermitcraft- Worldbuilding

Heyo! This was the product of a plot bunny I got while watching the newest animated music video by Porter Robinson, and it features pretty much all the hermits. Long into the distant future, there is a city of gleaming white and technological marvels. Electricity is entirely clean, its people are always happy, and life- as it has always done- goes on. However, for all it seems like a utopia, there is one facet that may seem out of place. The city is truly, utterly silent. Sure, there are voices and happy chatter, laughter on street corners and children running in the streets. But there is no hum, no electric buzz that most crafters of the past would have been familiar with. There is no redstone. For indeed, the red dust is entirely illegal and those who work with it are relegated to the city’s dark underbelly. And not all of them are happy to be there. It is in this city, the city of Sky’s Limit, that I have dropped our hermits. Time will tell what happens next.

----

A story in which the world has been… purified. Think skyblock, portrayed as a world of natural wonder, soft angles and high rises that scrape the clouds above, all in shimmering shades of pearlescent white. The only noise is the rushing of the wind through the grass far, far below and the distant echo of passing conversation and laughter. There are no cars, no chatter of coms, no hissing creepers or vroomping, thieving endermen. Just peace. And sometimes, if you listen carefully enough, the flapping of wings as the most blessed of the city’s inhabitants fly  overhead, the celebrity darlings and envy of everyone below. For some of the hermits, life is good. Bdubs, Xisuma, Grian, and Jevin are all upper nobility. Xisuma and Grian are some of the lucky few with wings (bee and bird respectively for X and G), while Jevin is blessed simply for being sky blue and transparent- and a being so like the sky must surely be worthy of high ranking. Surely. Xisuma is an administrator of the city, one of those who keep track of the nitty-gritty bits, like how much food each sector goes through a month, the efficiency of the watering systems in the fields, etc. Grian is just a straight up celebrity darling, beloved by the people for his pranks and personality. Late at night, he runs a TV talk show. Jevin has a seat on the city governance, one of thirteen “elected” chancellors. Bdubs is another chancellor, low-key the one in charge, as it was his idea to create a city of white, one that ran on clean energy and lawfulness, who drew up the first blueprint and built much of the city himself. It’s said that there’s no corner of it he isn’t aware of, no part that he didn’t have a hand in designing. While this isn’t quite the case, one thing is certain- BDubs certainly has “designs” and they are very grand indeed. After these hermits fall the ones who are upper to middle class. Stress is a well-trusted doctor in the city’s finest hospital. She believes in the system that saved her life so long ago with all her heart and does her best to keep the city and its people running as best as they possibly can. Compassion and lawful goodness fall into the same boat for Stress, which can sometimes end poorly for criminals who go to her for medical care, thinking that surely a doctor as kind as Stress would never turn away someone, even if they have broken the law. What they forget is that becoming a doctor takes a spine of steel, and Stress has gone one step above the rest- she has a spine of chrome, and she will do what she must to keep her city running strong. (Incidentally, that chrome spine of hers? Not hyperbole, an “accident” at 6 made sure of that.) Vintagebeef runs a butcher shop and is mid to low ranking. He serves the best sandwiches in the city, as attested to by his best customers, Rendog and Falsesymmetry. Rendog is a happy go lucky reporter who spends equal time chasing skirts as he does chasing his next scoop. False is a beat cop, one of the best, and she’s gone viral at least once for dumping criminals who think that just because she's a girl that means she can’t fight. She’s particularly embarrassed (and a bit proud) of the video of her literally picking up a criminal and dumping him the nearest trash chute. Welsknight, the unfortunate garbage man, was quite unhappy to have to remove the criminal from the chute, as for all of False’s strength, she wasn’t quite strong enough to pry the man loose again. He now low-key follows False around to clean up all of her messes as while the media at large is quite fond of her feats, the local infrastructure isn’t.  Somehow, he always ends up at the right place at the right time. Scar is a bit down on his luck, but overall is doing pretty well for himself. He’s one of the architects for the city, was in fact famous for a time for creating a specific style of sheer white skyscraper that allowed for more solar panels to be placed along its side. However, 2 years later and people are starting to realize that for some reason, his buildings aren’t as efficient as they ought to be and his designs have since fallen out of favor. Rendog had taken great joy running his name through the muck, unfortunately, as a man’s got to eat and for all the Scar is a nice guy, a renowned architect falling from grace makes for quite the scoop. The two don’t like each other much, but they’ve actually seen each other’s faces. Anyway, Scar has been living off of his savings, hoping that someone up top would care enough about him to fix the issue and find out what went wrong. After 2 years of nothing, however, he has realized that if he ever wants to figure out the mystery of his buildings’ lack of efficiency, he’ll need to find out himself. Little does he know, Keralis, the architect that replaced him, has been doing quite well for himself and the last thing he wants is to lose his position to the guy he had replaced. While a generally nice guy, Keralis has had a taste of the high life and now there’s no going back. He knows what Scar is up to, and is quite… invested in keeping the status quo. No. Matter. What. Joe Hills runs a bookstore. A completely normal bookstore. Yes, really officer, I promise. Just like how XB, his best friend and right hand man, employee of the month, every month, is entirely average in every way and has never done anything wrong in his life, ever. There is one more among the hermits who has wings- Etho. Or rather, had. Etho had his wings cut off for undisclosed crimes against the city and now works in a toy shop on the outskirts of town. He’s thoroughly mysterious and always looks tired, but his toys and trinkets business does surprisingly well and he always seems happy, behind that mask of his. The only hint that this isn’t quite the case is the tightness around his eyes. A secret? When they told him that the pain would never stop, that awful night when they burnt his wings off? He didn’t believe them. (Oh god, the way it smelled.) He really, really should have. 

You’ve heard about the shining white walls, the perfect healthcare, the love the people hold for the city and the rigor with which they defend it. The quiet, the peace, the wonderful golden silence found in its streets and reflecting from its windows. Even the light seems quieter there. If you’re smart, you may have picked up that something isn’t quite right with the city, that 2/3s of our cast seems to be missing. You’d be right, almost. Mumbo, Cub. Cleo? They aren’t missing- they’re hiding. And they have very good reason to do so. 

The city’s name is Sky’s Limit, and it is built on a foundation of marble and hard, cold law. It is a city of white… and black. And lurking in its shadows are all those that do not belong, those whose colors do not fit, those who can’t afford the brilliant marble towers or the plastic smiles popularized by the rich and famous. It is a city choked into silence by its secrets and one thing it cannot abide is the humming electric whine of redstone. And those who practice it are criminals in the eyes of the law, to be persecuted to its fullest extent and often, even beyond. Even to the grave, if needs must or the council orders such. And BDubs is so very, very fond of his restful, quiet beauty sleep. Not everyone agrees with these laws however, and brewing in the black, sunless shadows of the city’s underbelly are those determined to see the city shine red. Zedaph is the closest to legal of the underground hermits- he has to be when he has two more mouths to feed, Tango and Impulse. Although the latter two are redstone geniuses and do well in making food stretch and and make their ramshackle rented apartment livable, it is Zedaph alone who  fake any marketable skills. While Impulse and Tango do their best to keep the lights on and use redstone wiring to steal power from the city’s solar- and wind-powered electrical grid, Zedaph peddles the doodads and toys he makes to the poorest children of the city. Many of them still contain some measure of redstone, as it's nigh-impossible to ignore its thrumming call entirely if you are born to do the stuff, but his target audience is usually too young, too uneducated, and too scared of the law to recognize it or say anything about it. And if a bit of redstone Impulse or Tango put together can help someone make it another day, and Zedaph can make it look passably legal? Well, some of the poorest housewives and mothers can look the other way The trio are happy together, but making ends meet is hard and with summer coming, resources are soon to be harder to get than ever. (A city of light and pure white? Things start to heat up fast, and water becomes more precious than ever. And with summer coming, it means less water gathering in puddles and drain pipes in the city, and thus less water for the underground redstoners and hybrids to tap into.) Little does Zedaph know, however, he’s caught the attention of another toymaker in the city. In addition to this, Tango is getting restless, frustrated with the trio’s lot in life. Even under normal circumstances he can’t sit still, and being cooped up inside all the time because his glowing red eyes give him away as being both a hybrid and really in tune with redstone? It sucks. A lot. Impulse tries to keep his buddy distracted, but there’s only so much he can do, and now, Tango has been disappearing at odd hours, frequently when he and Zedaph are trying to sleep, and coming back with an odd look in his eyes. Just a few days ago he had found the remains of a charred pamphlet in their dumpster out back. Something is coming to head, and Impulse isn’t sure he’s going to like the outcome. Not that he’d ever mention the mounting tension to Zedaph, of course. His buddy has enough to worry about. ZombieCleo… runs a speakeasy/burlesque show underneath Joe’s bookstore. She has his full approval of course, and they’re fast friends under the merits of he’s one of the only decent men she’s ever met. It helps that he’s hardcore aro-ace and has no interest in her or her girls. Cleo, being a zombie hybrid, knows all too well about the tough life being a hybrid is and how it can make people turn to awful things just to make ends meet. She knows that doing sex work is the last thing her girls want to be doing, not that they have a choice, and she does her best to do right by them. She protects her workers viciously, and if any of her patrons try to treat her girls too roughly, or try to skip out on payment? Well, being a hybrid comes with a few perks and a nice pair of teeth and nails is all part of the package. Coincidentally, Joe is awfully good at hiding a body. Doc is perhaps the most down on his luck of the hermits. As both a redstoner and an obvious hybrid, he can’t find work, he can’t find anyone willing to rent to him, he can barely even find food enough to eat. He’s resorted to petty theft and squatting, and if it wasn’t for his ruthless determination that this city would not be the death of him, he would have laid down and given up long ago. Not even the occasional rendezvous with the local garbage cans is enough to deter him (courtesy of the local beat cop. That woman has no right to be as strong as she is). It’s on one such day, trying to pry himself out of yet another trashcan far too small for him, that Doc finally gets his lucky break. The old man to whom the trashcan belongs to comes out, hoping to dispose of his waste for evening, and instead finds the creeper hybrid there, cursing up a storm and angry enough to kill. The sight would almost be threatening to TFC if, you know, he hadn’t seen worse and the hybrid in question looked like he hadn’t had a good meal for years. TFC invites Doc inside after helping to pry him loose, and Doc, while suspicious, accepts. TFC low key makes Doc move in with him and treats the man well, seeing as the poor hybrid reacts to every little thing as if he had never seen kindness. TFC also begins to tell stories to Doc about the time before the city was built, before redstone was outlawed and hybrids were looked down upon as lesser beings. And Doc, utterly enchanted by the concept, begins to have… ideas. Iskall was in the same position as Doc for a while, but they too get their lucky break. They get picked up by Mumbo Jumbo and is introduced to the Cotillion, the rebel group who are out to shake the city to its very foundations and bring about an age of redstone dominance. Mumbo and the hundreds of people under him plan on breaking the social order and instating redstoners and hybrids as the top dogs, and Iskall finds themself shocked that the rebels seem to have the organization and resources to actually do it. Mumbo is witty and charismatic, seemingly always having a plan and a silver-tongued speech to go with it. He also installs Iskall as second in command, much to their shock. Time will tell if the Cotillion is going to succeed. Cub is living in one of Scar’s buildings, along with many other redstoners. Just... Not entirely legally.

This is pretty much the end of the world-building section, I’ll come out with a post on the general plot as soon as I can. TBC :)

[radramblog]

Every Boros Commander, Part 1

Every one of these rambles is going to be longer and nerdier than the last, I guess. We’ll see how long I can keep that up for.

If you aren’t or haven’t been at least a casual fan of Magic: The Gathering, this post is going to be completely lost on you, sorry.

Oh also I’m having to split this in half since it took basically all afternoon to write and its still juuuust not done.

Boros gets a lot of shit for being bad and having bad generals for EDH until recently, and seeing as its my favourite two-colour pair I felt like exploring, well, every option we have for the combo. I’m excluding the new Commander Legends partner commanders in this, since I don’t have all day, and I’m also not covering Akiri and Bruse Tarl since no-one ever builds just Boros with them, and I’m not including 3-5 colour decks that just happen to have red and white in them. That’s not Boros.

Boros’s strengths are in manipulating combat, in tokens, and with Voltron strategies. It is the best pair for Equipment decks and top tier for Aggressive decks, to the point of being arguably shoehorned by WOTC into such strategies for a long time. Its weaknesses are mostly to do with card draw and ramp, possibly the most important things in a casual game of Commander, but the former is alleviated by many of red’s recent card draw options and the latter easily supplemented with mana rocks- if you have enough money, any deck can have good ramp, but enough budget options exist these days that it isn’t too bad even for the “worst colors”.

Anyway, enough beating around the bush lets get into this. Going in Chronological order.

Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran (29th most played as of writing)

…It seriously took until Ravnica to get a legendary RW creature? Heinous. Cool as Agrus is as protagonist of the Ravnica novel, his card simply does not hold up in 2021, let alone beforehand. He’s a Glorious Anthem style commander, except he works best only with creatures that are both red and white, and not nearly enough cards produce multicolored tokens for him to boost. Oh, also he’s a 5 mana 3/3 with no protection or evasion that has to attack to get his effect. Save it for the novel.

Razia, Boros Archangel (30th most played as of writing, the last place finalist)

Speaking of Ravnica. Razia is fucking cool, between the art and unique, if underwhelming, activated ability. She is also 8 mana and not green. She is the only commander to my knowledge that can redirect damage to opponents’s creatures, so if that’s the deck you want to build, go for it, though enjoy the distressingly small cardpool. God, they couldn’t have given her an extra power, could they?

Brion Stoutarm (6th most played as of writing)

Brion is the first actually viable commander of the bunch, being a pretty decent head to either a Fling deck with Ball Lightnings or Acts of Treason, or just Giant Tribal with his Lorwyn compatriots. I don’t think I’ve ever seen or played against Brion yet, but I’d be interested in doing so. Having lifegain in the command zone with a deck that likes throwing damage around is pretty nice. It’s surprising that he’s still so high, especially considering EDHREC (my data source) only now pulls from the last 2 years of decks, but I’m certainly not sad to see him there.

Jor Kadeen, the Prevailer (19th most played as of writing)

Spoilers: Jor is actually the best Anthem commander. +3/+0 is huge, and when most of your ramp and some of your draw is artifacts you’re not going to have a hard time getting metalcraft. 5 mana is a fair chunk for an aggressive deck but he turns the damage output up enough notches that I think he’s pretty good. Underrated in my opinion. How are there more Tajic, Legion’s Edge decks than Jor Kadeen decks?

Basandra, Battle Seraph (24th most played as of writing)

Basandra is the head of my current Boros deck, being a pillowfort/combat manipulation deck. She’s, uh, not ideal in that even, since she stops even you from casting removal and such during combat. Having an extra must attack effect in the zone is nice, though, and a flying commander can be nice for closing games out. Basandra at least has the gift of being fairly open-ended, but also, she doesn’t really do anything, so that’s probably got something to do with it.

On a side note, fuck you Terese Nielsen for turning out to be a cunt. No-one else seems to have drawn this character, so I can’t even make an alter. Fuck.

Gisela, Blade of Goldnight (10th most played as of writing)

Gisela has a lot of very attractive words on her. Unfortunately, 7 mana and that ability means that as soon as you drop her out of the zone, you better use her quick because she isn’t sticking around long. Obviously lends herself to group slug or Earthquake decks, but the former paints an even bigger target on your head and the latter is even mana hungrier than normal. I prefer her in the 99.

Aurelia, the Warleader (5th most played as of writing)

Aurelia was the “best” Boros commander for a long time, and it’s easy to see why- haste and an extra combat trigger add up to a lot of damage very quickly and it’s not like there was much competition for a while. She’s actually the only one of the top 5 Boros commanders that wasn’t printed in the last 5 years, so I guess she’s stood the test of time, much like Brion.  I’d argue she’s pretty boring though, seeing as she has the one thing she does, but she does it well and there’s no faulting her for that. She’s the closest we have to r/custommagic’s favourite “double combat triggers” legend. A lot of people seem to run her as Angel Tribal too, which of the available Angels in the zone I’d argue that’s a pretty good shout. The Red/Boros Angels are fun!

Tajic, Blade of the Legion (20th most played as of writing)

The first on this list I’d consider playing as Voltron, Tajic’s first card is indestructible which as a former Sapling of Colfenor player is fucking excellent in the zone for when you have to play defensively. He does, however, require other creatures in the deck to truly shine, and you do have to have those creatures attack, so it can be awkward to get the most out of him. He’s a cool dude though, much better than his other card imo.

Anax and Cymede (23rd most played as of writing)

The first draft I ever played was a Born of the Gods draft in which I splashed Anax and Cymede. Clearly, I had no idea what I was doing. Anax and Cymede look a lot like Tajic in deck, to be honest, since they’re creatures that like having buffs but also want other creatures around to benefit. Heroic is kind of an awkward requirement, however, and I suspect you’d be spending more time just having it as a buff for the royals themselves. Its nice to see a loving married couple as a Magic card, though, I’m sure things will be good for them always.

Iroas, God of Victory (9th most played as of writing)

Somehow despite it being common in the 99 of aggressive decks, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Iroas deck in my local metas. I think it has the potential to be pretty powerful, since if you can meet his (admittedly harsh) requirement he’s an indestructible evasive commander with that magical 7 power making commander damage a 3HKO. And when he’s not ready to rumble, he’s nigh impossible to kill on account of the limited targeted enchantment exile people tend to play in the format. Otherwise, he makes attacking free and bountiful for other creatures, and so is just kinda good to have around- I can see running him for that alone.

Munda, Ambush Leader (27th most played as of writing)

Somehow more people are playing Munda than Razia or Agrus, despite being just the worst commander with Ally in the text (outside the type line, love you Zada) and not doing actual anything outside of that. Why the fuck doesn’t he draw the cards? Why does he just stack them? God, Munda sucks. Also I have like 3 of them, since I drafted a lot of that deck in that environment and people just pass him around. Anyone want one? Be my guest.

Kalemne, Disciple of Iroas (11th most played as of writing)

Precon face commanders always get a bit more love and a bit more power than the average legend, and Kalemne is no exception. Double Strike in the zone on a creature that gets bigger is just nuts, and it means she kills people astonishingly quickly. Even my non-voltron Kalemne deck that just wanted to play big idiots had her as a huge threat since even if she gets killed she stays big. Kalemne also happens to be probably better for Giant tribal than Brion, though he does at least get to yeet those removal magnets if they do get removed.

Anya, Merciless Angel (26th most played as of writing)

I didn’t think Anya would be this low. While she is another indestructible commander, it is conditional, and her abilities are self-sabotaging- if someone is in range of being killed by her, you’re probably not going to want to attack them just so you can keep indestructible and buffs, but you also, yknow, want to kill them. I can see her being political in this way though- keeping someone alive with her swords at their throat can have some fun implications. I think shes underrated despite her awkwardness.

Archangel Avacyn (14th most played as of writing)

(Her colour identity is RW since her other face is a red creature. It’s a bit odd, I know)

Avacyn was fucking unbeatable in draft and obnoxious in Standard (though one of my favourite magic stories involves her, so,), and since I never managed to get one for Kalemne when that deck was around I have no real love for her. She’s generically powerful without leading in a particular direction, but her flip ability is pretty cool as is her story in the set. It’s OK. Also why do people keep putting her in Angel decks? You know she doesn’t flip off those, right?

Adriana, Captain of the Guard (22nd most played as of writing)

Adriana, Adriana. I didn’t dislike Adriana as much as I did until I actually did the math on her. Typical commander games are 4-player, so she is a +3/+3 anthem at maximum assuming you have good attacks on every single opponent and that none of them are dead yet. I’m really not sure why you’d play this over Jor Kadeen, and it looks like people aren’t, so. Melee was a fun mechanic in draft, but I completely understand why it hasn’t crossed over, ever, to other formats, seeing as there are 7 total cards with it and most of them are draft chaff. CONTINUED IN PART 2...ANOTHER DAY. PROBABLY SOON SINCE IT’S 2/3 DONE ALREADY.

[secret-engima]

Cloud Strife reborn as Prompto argentum???

*ancient plunny revives with a scream* *I slam the lid back down on it with a surprised screech*

WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME. BUCKLE UP WE’RE GETTING A FREAKING FICLET.

-Cloud Strife dies, old and ... contented for the most part. He’s lived a good life. Not an easy one, or even a kind one, but ... good. He dies and he slides into the Lifestream, and Zack and Aerith welcome him with open arms.

-And for a very, very long time, he drifts. He is ... partially aware of the world beyond the Lifestream, but he mostly doesn’t care. He did his part, saved it more than a few times, he’s earned his rest.

-Zack and Aerith like to keep an eye on the world though, partly out of curiosity and partly out of care, and they keep him apprised of certain things. Of Minerva raising new Guardians of the world via the Summons, assigning some to guard the Star from threats from beyond, some as Messengers who function much like old Summons. They tell him about the rise and fall of a civilization called Solheim and Cloud mourns a little at the rush of new residents in the Lifestream that follows Ifrit’s wrath.

-Then Aerith comes to him and tells him-

-That Ifrit went too far. His anger runs too deep. It’s ... done something. Jenova is dead and gone, but some of her taint lingered in the scars of the world and Ifrit’s anger FUSED with those old wisps to birth something new. Something terrible. Something called the Starscourge.

-And Cloud gets a nasty feeling that his time of rest is coming to an end.

-Still, he doesn’t leave. He doesn’t want to. But now he takes to watching occasionally with Zack and Aerith as the Astrals struggle to stop what one of their own created, as Bahamut crafts a mighty Crystal, a direct conduit to the power of the Lifestream and all the old magics that used to be found freely in Materia but that Gaia had long ago pulled back for fear of humanity’s abuse. Bahamut tracks down two families, one descended of Tifa’s children, blue eyed and black haired and Stubborn, another descended of Genesis of all people, skilled in magic and poets at heart. Bahamut blesses them with magic and tells them they will save the world.

-Cloud watches in spurts and flickers, dropping into awareness every century or so. The two family lines have no yet cured the Scourge, the taint still spreads, inch by inch and victim by victim.

-Aerith cries her heart out when Ardyn is born, and rises, and falls. It’s not fair. It’s not FAIR for another to suffer like this. Ardyn was as close to an Ancient as could ever be and he tried so HARD, but he was too immature in his magic, he didn’t have the same knowledge that Aerith or even Zack and Cloud had about magic and so he was infected. But his magic was too strong to let him die from it.

-Cloud goes and yells at Minerva with Zack a little bit, and she looks at them wearily and explains she CAN’T do anything. Gaia has given the world of the living to the Astrals. Minerva can no longer directly interfere and Bahamut refuses to listen.

-And time continues to unspool. Bahamut has bound Gaia (now called Eos) to a Prophecy and all they can do is watch it play out.

-Unless...

-Titan comes to them in secret, without Bahamut’s knowledge or permission. Titan is of Earth and the Earth is of the Lifestream, he is the closest still to being the Titan of old, the closest to memories of when Eos was Gaia and Gaia had Champions. Titan is a patience creature, but not unkind. He, unlike the others, has remained awake and part of the world after catching the great Meteor, has seen humans struggle and live and love and die. He remembers the old Champions... and so he asks.

-One more time?

-Cloud is tired just thinking about it. He is not a hero, not in his own eyes, he is just a screwup, an experiment gone wrong and broken free of its strings. But he loves his friends, and the people who are descended of Tifa and Genesis and all his old companions. He loves the world still and most of all ... he loves Aerith and Zack. His brother and sister of heart. So when Aerith and Zack step forward to accept Titan’s plan, what can Cloud do but quietly step forward as well and offer to fight one more time?

-Titan thanks them, and he and Minerva make a plan. Already time is drawing short. They cannot simply DO THIS and hope for the best, they must place them where they have the most chance of changing things. Titan and Minerva settle on an idea and Minerva apologizes to Cloud, specifically.

-Cloud is pulled under before he can ask why. And for a long time that is the last he knows.

-Awareness comes back in flickers and spurts and the feel of bubbling green liquid on his skin. Sight comes diluted by the water of a tank.

-Cloud emerges from his tank screaming and thrashing, and the men in white coats take note of his unusual energy and reactions to the first of the Scourge treatments.

-Cloud feels the Scourge slide into his veins like an old, hated friend and screams louder, but magic is soul and soul is magic and Cloud’s soul has already battled something far worse than this diluted, spiteful plague. It consumes the Scourge in his veins, twists it into familiar channels and patterns that will someday make Cloud unnaturally strong and fast and keen of senses despite his scrawny frame and normal appearance.

-For now though, Cloud shivers in his sparks of fragile awareness and hates that he ever agreed to this.

-Of course he was reborn in a FREAKING LABORATORY.

-Cloud isn’t sure how long he stays in the lab, fading from awareness only to launch back to the forefront of the infantile mind this body has in fits and spurts. Just that it’s too long. Long enough for the men to mark him like a candy bar, long enough for them to pump gallon after gallon of Scourge in his veins and take confused notes when his body absorbs it and twists it into something different out of self-defense.

-He wakes up at one point to hear someone shuffling around the lab they moved him into. Someone with a different tread from the guards and the scientists. Cloud whines despite himself, flails with frustrating tiny limbs as a strange face appears above his sealed not-crib. Ice blue eyes look into Cloud’s, and Cloud knows in an instant this man is not of the lab. This man is dressed wrong, moves wrong, FEELS like he doesn’t belong, like there is a star pulsing softly under his skin.

-Cloud reaches for the man with another whine he can’t help and starts crying silently because Stupid Baby Instincts.

-He’s honestly surprised when the man blinks twice, sighs at the ceiling and mutters over his own idiocy, and then breaks open Cloud’s not-crib container. Alarms screech in his overly sensitive ears as the man clumsily hefts Cloud’s tiny infant self into his arms and RUNS. Cloud has never been so grateful for another person’s recklessness in his entire life.

-The man runs and hides and carts him what feels like halfway across the world, bumbling through childcare in a way that Cloud is pretty sure a normal baby wouldn’t have survived. Cloud is probably JUST shy of a year old when the man stumbles into a city that is coated with magic and makes his way to a huge building that practically THROBS with magic in a way that makes Cloud’s baby skin crawl and the not-Scourge in his blood shiver.

-The man is apparently named Cor, at least according to the other two men who yell that name as he stumbles into a private study with Cloud wrapped in his tattered jacket. Cloud can’t stop his tiny baby body from bursting into tears at the yelling (sound was too-loud-TOOLOUDMAKEITSTOP) and the dead, stunned silence is almost gratifying.

-“I couldn’t leave him,” Cor rasps to the other two men as they tentatively inspect Cloud, “I just- the things they were DOING to him, Regis. The things in the reports- I couldn’t leave him.”

-“Well you can’t keep him,” protests one of the men as the other holds out a finger for Cloud to hold and coos, “Niflheim will become suspicious. Especially since the boy looks nothing like you.”

-“I’m not killing him,” Cor SNARLS, holding Cloud too tightly to be comfortable. Both men raise their hands placatingly and promise that was NOT what they were implying.

-They end up giving Cloud away after having their doctors poke and prod and confirm he’s not infected with anything (how they miss the not-Scourge in his veins Cloud will never know). Cloud can’t stop himself from clinging to Cor when the man gives him away, because Cor might not have a clue how to raise a kid, but Cor was kind and SAFE and Cloud didn’t want to him to leave.

-But leave the man does. And the couple takes him home. They name him Prompto Argentum.

-And for a long time after that, Cloud is all alone.

-Oh they take care of his physical needs, and they are affectionate for a while, but they are busy people, and Cloud is too mature and strange, and so they slowly drift away.

-Cloud tells himself it’s fine. He can use the alone time to study at his true mental level rather than baby books and he can train his body to keep up with the burning, roiling power in his veins from the Not-Scourge that has given him skills and abilities dangerously similar to what he had post-Hojo. He tells himself that it’s fine as he looks for Zack and Aerith in the faces of every child and adult he meets and finds nothing. He tells himself it’s fine.

-The part of him that remembers raising Denzel, the part that held Tifa close when her beau left her after she refused to get rid of the child growing insider her and then helped her raise that child as if he was the father even when he wasn’t, knows it’s not.

-Cloud watches the news for word of Cor and wonders if the man knows (or would care) that the baby he saved is growing up raising HIMSELF rather than being loved and doted on as the couple promised.

-He avoids the children at school. One because he is mentally much older, and two because he can feel his SOLDIER strength coming back to him every passing year, fed to him through the gate opened by the Not-Scourge in his blood and the dreams Minerva sends him, promising that he will not be alone forever.

-He avoids the children for their own safety in case he has a panic attack about the labs of either lifetime and the things that were done to him.

-He avoids.

-Until one day, when Cloud is seven years old and has hidden himself in the farthest corner of the playground possible to get away from the too-loud noise of gossiping children on his too-sensitive ears, the new student the teachers mentioned (that Cloud hadn’t paid attention to) tromps up, squats down next to him and holds out a hand, “Hey,” he whispers as if he knows that Cloud is having a sensory overload day, “My name’s Noctis. Wanna be friends?”

-Cloud stares at blue, blue eyes the color of the sky, feels magic already wrapping around him in a boisterous sort of invisible hug and feels tears well up, “P-prompto.”

-The boy grins at him, bright as the sun in a way that almost hides the age in his eyes, “Hmmm, that’s a cool name and all, but I’m gonna give you a nickname. How about ... Cloud?”

-And Cloud knows.

-“Zack!” He wheezes as he lunges forward to catch his friend in a hug that is returned with equal desperation.

-“I’m here, buddy. I’m here. Sorry I took so long to find you.”

-Noctis (Zack) and Prompto (Cloud) are inseparable from that point on. Zack drags Cloud to his limo after school and Cloud has no issues coming over for a sleepover that he knows is probably not going to end until they hit their age of majority. The other boy in the back seat (Ignis) eyes Cloud warily, but then smiles and welcomes him.

-Once at Zack’s house (the freaking Citadel, so much for being a simple country boy), Zack and Cloud cry their eyes out and plan and acknowledge that Minerva and Titan needed kicks in the teeth for making Zack be reborn as the CHOSEN KING. Now they just need to find Aerith.

-“Betcha she’s the Oracle” Cloud says as he sprawls on the sinfully fluffy carpet and glares at the ceiling.

-Zack whines because his wife is so far away!!

-Cloud thinks Regis chokes on his wine a little bit when Zack drags Cloud to dinner and introduces him by his “official” name. Cloud wonders if Regis remembers the tiny infant he made Cor give away.

-(Regis looks at the new friend his son has made, with blue eyes that seem to glow when in shadows and who wears a leather armband over one wrist at all times, and oh, OH he remembers. He remembers and he wonders with a swoop of dread if this friendship is really just coincidence).

-SO. Some other thoughts on this monster AU plunny: Aerith is Luna (obviously) and writes to the boys the moment Pryna and Umbra are old enough to use as messengers. Noctis is known for being a hyper, cheerful oddball while Prompto is his quiet, melancholy and too-serious friend that can bench press a suit of armor despite looking like a shrimp.

-Cor has a minor heart attack upon meeting Cloud, who instantly gloms onto him as if he remembers Cor (but that’s impossible, kids don’t remember things before the age of three right? RIGHT?).

-Prompto is not the sharpshooter in this verse. Sorry he isn’t. Cloud hates guns for Reasons (coughZack’s deathcough) and he is unnaturally strong. Of COURSE he’s going to take to swords at an early age. He designs his Fusion sword when he’s fourteen and Noctis/Zack splurges his entire royal allowance to get it forged by the royal weapons makers just for Cloud.

-Cloud is there when the Marilith thing happens, it was a road trip playdate that Regis grudgingly allowed.

-Regis shows up in time to see two tiny 7-8 year old children fighting off a Marilith with magic sparking off their bodies like supernovas, Prompto’s eyes glowing an eerie blue as he picks up a dead Crownsguard’s sword and wields it like its a paperweight and Noctis’s eyes burn blood red as he spams lightning spells and whoops like its all a game.

-Regis is Very Sure that neither of these boys are entirely normal. Or sane. But he’s just so glad they’re alive.

-Tenebrae invasion happens without Noctis being there, Luna/Aerith meets Ardyn and promptly begins working her Flower Girl magic.

-Ardyn may or may not show up at the Citadel two years later with Oracle kids in tow, looking to defect and feeling 120% more sane since taking to wearing Luna’s flower crowns and walking in the garden in the rain with her (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge).

-Noctis spots Luna, hurtles up at top speed, and announces to all and sundry that HI. HE’S NOCTIS. HE’S GOING TO MARRY YOU.

-While Regis tries to explain art you can’t just SAY THAT, Luna kneels down to be eye level with the now younger love of her life and tells him that if he still wants to marry her when he turns 19, then she will gladly oblige.

-Cloud and Ardyn hold a staring contest during which Ardyn rapidly puts together some pieces about the Chosen King child, the Oracle, and this little escaped Lab Boy and starts cackling like a lunatic.

-BAHAMUT YOU’RE IN FOR A WAKEUP CALL.

-Also at one point Titus and Prompto are alone in the same room for like- twenty minutes because Prompto is hiding in Titus’s office. Titus and him hold a staring contest before Titus’s lips twitch and his eyes flicker an eerie green.

-“Hello Cloud,” he purrs, “You aren’t angry I’m here?”

-Cloud crosses his arms and huffs goodnaturedly, “Who do you think talked Minerva into kicking your moping butt out for a second chance, Sephiroth? Also, if you’re using that creepy armor under your skin as an excuse to hurt Zack and his family-.”

-“Never,” Sephiroth says firmly, “I have been the slave of my experimenters before. I have no desire to be so again. I currently feed Regis information gleaned from General Glauca and only give the Empire non-information cleared ahead of time by the king.”

-“Okay then.”

-“Indeed.”

-And that is the start of the Glaives living confusion fever dream where they keep walking in on their Captain holding the WEIRDEST conversations with a Smol Child (or Children, Noctis gets in on it too) that range from insult contests and mockery of each other’s sword techniques to deep, soul-searching questions of existence and magic and how it relates to the soul.

-Nyx would really like it if life could start making sense again pls. These never happened before Prompto Argentum came along.