#stranger things alignment chart

[cringengl]

[whereintheworldisspencerreid]

will is all three tbh

[womp-womp-chomp-chomp]

You’re honor it’s the truth.

[hitchell-mope]

Would they play dnd with The Party?

Jane would. Mike likes playing dnd. Jane loves Mike. Ergo Jane would play dnd with Mike. And Mike would get a kick out of teaching her how to play.

I think Suzie would like to play dnd. But only if she can get over the alleged satanism. Once she does she’d probably get into the creativity of it all.

Max wouldn’t. She doesn’t see the point in it. Not even if Lucas begged her. The only fantasy she touches is the Arnold Schwarzenegger Hercules movies.

Jonathan would if Will asked him. Nancy used to, she taught the others, but not anymore. But if she did then she’d be ruthless.

Steve and Robin wouldn’t. Steve thinks it’s complete and utter gibberish. Robins already in band. She doesn’t the final nail in the coffin as it were.

Joyce and Jim would try. Their kids play it so they’d give it the good old college try at least. Joyce would be better at it though. Jim would probably end up enraged.

[your-local-bi-guy]

enjoy this meme i made

[qulizalfos]

okay hear me out

[fake-80s-yaoi]

didn’t feel like finding pictures. n e way i edited the therapy alignment chart

[causticflower]

A Ship Template!  

a shipping template (a fancy + a simplified/more readable version) that I made for fun

so here! have fun too :3

originally inspired by @awfulalignmentcharts and [their ship chart]; I borrowed the general layout and some of the wording, otherwise the graphics & rest of the words is me ^^

more + explanations down under vvv

> a general note: you can fill this thing out any way you want; you can write the answers, draw them, you also don't have to fill out everything, and you can even delete/replace stuff you don't like (it's not like I'd be able to stop you lol) ((also the title, you can edit the [--] or the whole thing too))

> you don't need to tag me or reblog the post if you fill it out

> if anyone wants a different combination of the graphical parts or different font or something else let me know, I'll see what I can do <3 

= Explanations =

(I explained everything just to be sure, feel free to skip parts)

Top part – Introductions:

the big squares → you can put their faces or profiles or whatever of theirs there

the small square (“describe their vibes”) → what their dynamic is like, what vibes do they give off when next to each other etc; for example, are they a cat-person & dog-person kind of duo, or it's a scary dog privilege kind of situation, or do they look like enemies, etc

ship name → their ship name, or their ship names if they have multiple

age+difference → what are their ages + how big their age gap is

height+difference → what are their heights + how much is one taller/shorter than the other 

fandom(s) -> what fandom are they from, or fandoms if it's a crossover ship

name → their name, full or nickname or other

gender → their gender

sexuality → their sexuality; you can specify if it's a romantic, sexual, both/neither type of attraction 

alignment (of your choice) → what the character’s alignment/personality is, up to you if you want to use the classic DnD alignment chart (good/neutral/evil x lawful/neutral/chaotic) or if you want to use whatever else (like add in bastard/fish/pirate etc)

Left Column (the many sliders): 

big spoon <--> little spoon = when sleeping or cuddling; who is the one hugging <--> the one being hugged

actually functions <--> messy mental wreck = how well they are doing mentally; are they mentally well adjusted/stable <--> are they a mess/have mental issues

ball of stress <--> YOLO = what their general attitude to life is; are they stressed/worried about things constantly <--> are they carefree/careless/going with the flow

hermit <--> social bee = how social they are; not social at all <--> very social

scaredy-cat <--> fears no god = are they afraid of everything <--> do they fear nothing

bleeding heart <--> then perish. = how sympathetic they are; almost too sympathetic <--> don't care at all

incompetently competent <--> competently incompetent = basically: their attitude x their actual skill (with the middle being “normal”); look clumsy/careless but are very competent <--> look competent/confident but are actually useless

the world is ending (I fell in love) <--> blushing giggling kicking feet = what their reaction is when they realize they have a crush/fell in love; is very upset/miserable about it/hates it <--> very happy/giddy about it

allergic to PDA <--> sickeningly affectionate = how they act in general situations/around others; acting like they're strangers <--> constantly holding hands/kissing/complimenting each other

wants to get matching things <--> would rather die than change their style = they want to get something (very visible) to signify they are a couple <--> they like their style and won't change it no matter what

cuddles<3 <--> the table is broken again = the horniness meter; they have little to no sex (or it’s an ace/qpr ship) <--> they have sex as often as physically possible

has zero game <--> has insane game = how attractive they are to other people; cannot get a date no matter what <--> everyone wants to date them no matter what they do

crime doer <--> crime stopper = how likely they are to engage in 'bad' activities (either actual crime or just being a nuisance/prankster to their friends); constantly doing something nefarious <--> is actually more likely to stop crime/pranks from happening

watcher <--> meddler = are they more passive in conversations/situations <--> do they have to take part in everything

doomed by the narrative <--> blessed by the narrative = how much has the universe fucked them over (in canon or fanon); their life is/was pretty miserable <--> they are/were doing very well

Questions pt.1 

what brings them together? → what do they have in common / what might have brought (and kept) them together in the first place

what keeps/kept them apart? → what is/was preventing them from getting together (themselves, outside forces, etc)

Right Column:

Questions pt.2 

(badly) describe their meetcute → describe how they met, you can make it funny if you want

what are their fandom tropes/their ship appeal → what are their most common fan depictions (whether they are canon or not), or what about their ship dynamic is appealing to you/everyone

Questions pt.3

who fell first? → which one of them was the first to fall in love with the other

who first Realized (they're in love)? → which one of them had The Realization happen first, when they actually realized they are in love with the other person (basically the Oh. Oh. moment)

who confessed first? → who was the first to confess their love

who cleans up more messes? → who takes care of the mess they make/the trouble they get into more often

who is the first to apologize (after a fight)? → who apologizes first if they had a fight (where both of them might’ve been at fault)

who steals the bed covers? → who ((un)consciously) takes all the pillows/blankets/etc during the night/when they're sleeping together

who's the headrest? → example: A likes to rest their head/chin on B's head/shoulders/chest/etc, so B’s the headrest

who's the chef? (what they cooking?) → which one of them makes their food (and what the food is)

who takes charge of home decor? → which one of them is more likely to set up/design their home (pick the house, furniture, decor, etc)

who's the 3AM texter? → who's more likely to text the other in the middle of the night (for whatever reason)

who randomly brings home a new pet? → who's more likely to adopt random animals as pets / bring animals home to help them / etc

who's more likely to just straight up trip and die? → who is more clumsy/accident prone

“The Touchzone”

no touch <--> yes touch = in general circumstances, how do they feel about others touching them

the figures → you can draw on them or replace them with the characters, then you can color/otherwise indicate where and how they feel about touch on their body (either from their partner or in general, up to you)

you're dead → “I despise this”

do not → “I don't like this / I hate this”

not really → “I'd prefer no touch but it’s tolerable”

…eh… → “I have no strong feelings about this”

mayhaps → “I don't mind this, actually maybe even like it”

yes please → “I like this a lot”

YESss moreE → “I love/adore this”

note for the uncolored version of this: you can put your own colors/symbols/etc in the -[   ]- square next to the words

…and that's it, let me know if you have any more questions <3

[paradoxicalrising]

More Astrology Observations :D

(reminder i’m not a professional and i do not do birth chart readings)

- Mars in Leo: congratulations! u win first place for “the most horny mars placement” i’ve met too many mars in leo people that literally just wanna smash, they didn’t care about the emotional undercurrents of being intimate, they just wanted that physical reassurance.

- cancer moon men literally want to be in a relationship with their mom. very oedipus coded. not in any obvious or actual way but like they look for people who have traits of their own mother. even if they don’t look up to her or necessarily like her, they will get romantically involved only if the person reminds them of their mom.

- jupiter and sun positively aspecting each other in synastry is the type of synergy where anything the jupiter person does, the sun person will laugh. they think the sun shines out of the jupiter persons ass fr. very much a laughable, jovial, light hearted placement to have with someone.

- aries moon: every aries moon i’ve met has been shy at first. like they have that notable firecracker, passionate aries energy but it’s definitely hidden at first. when they meet new people especially they are like completely quiet kinda just observing the other persons energy. i’ve also noticed aries moons have a specific hobby or thing they like focusing their energy on which is kinda like an emotional release.

- fire moon: people with their moon in the fire element need a physical release for their emotions in general. it could be doing research, crafting, working out, or playing music. whatever it is, it helps the fire moon person put that emotional energy into a physical form so they feel like it has a rightful place and it’s kinda like validation for experiencing that emotion.

- air moon: now air moons have been the ones to be the most extroverted in my opinion. maybe not full extrovert but it’s like it comes over them when they’re in a social setting with someone who is more shy than them so they have this obligation to help the other person socialize and talk. it’s very sweet. also special note, gemini moon will never not talk to a stranger so no matter what other placements are influencing them, they will always be extrovert or ambivert because that hunger to know more will not allow them to shut up.

- moon in the first house: please start studying the moon cycle, its phases and what they mean because you are quite literally already being influenced by the moon bc everyone is like 70% water bUT! in your case specifically, big events in your life are likely to align with the cycles of the moon since it’s in an angular house ruling over your physical body and presence.

- pisces moon: and their substance abuse struggles. i get it fr but like maybe slow downnnnnnn and try to take breaks every now and again. especially when it’s liquid, namely alcohol. i’ve met too many pisces moons that are like “it opens me up” or “it takes away the shyness” like yes but also maybe you just need to work on grounding yourself in reality more, let yourself feel your emotions, grow some self awareness. and maybe spend some time in a body of water like the ocean, a lake, even a pool or bath. you don’t need external substances to tell you who you are or to postpone the pain of feeling your emotions. i’ve found a lot of pisces moon people that grew up in families that conditioned them to push away their feelings, being strong for others, and basically playing a part instead of being themselves. you are allowed to be yourself and to express who you are !!!!!! don’t let your family keep you down

-venus in virgo: knowing exactly what you want and denying people bc they don’t fit the idea in your head. i can talk all day about the pisces/ virgo axis being in venus. virgo is a little unrealistic like a pisces bc they want their partner to be the perfect match whereas pisces needs to be more realistic bc their partner needs a job, a car, and maybe should move out of their parents house. sometimes i think virgo venus people are lucky if they finally work through their perfectionism, their relationships are truly admirable bc they are devoted partners and they find some of the most doting and service oriented lovers. but it’s especially difficult if ur gen z bc u likely have venus square pluto showing that the person goes through drastic transformation either through heartbreak or through a healthy relationship contradicting the way they were shown affection and love by others in childhood.

- venus square pluto: try to work through those control issues and attachment issues in order to find the love you desire. and be open to change, love will change you one way or the other.

[cringengl]

[guxciestone]

✧ CELEBRITY BIRTH CHART ANALYSIS ✧

— drake.

i’m very interested to look into drake’s natal chart because he has very unique placements. he’s a venus retrograde native like me! i hope you are having an amazing day and enjoy 🤍😊

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ

✨🦉 Aubrey Drake Graham was born on October 24, 1986 in Toronto, Canada. Drake is one of the most popular rappers of this generation known for his melodic/rhythmic sound and soft image. Drake started off his legacy and gained recognition from his acting career as Jimmy Brooks in ‘Degrassi: The Next Generation’. After his acting efforts, he started his career in rapping and music. He easily gained recognition and popularity after his debut album ‘Thank Me Later’ which published in June 2010. A list of a few of Drake’s popular songs are: Hotline Bling (2016), God’s Plan (2018), and Marvin’s Room (2011) Additionally, Drake also gained recognition for his meme-able character.

ㅤㅤ

he identifies as:

࿐ a scorpio sun, cancer moon, & leo rising.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ— his personality.❞

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Water Grand Trine indicates that Drake has a talent in expressing his emotions and relating to others, especially through creative pursuits such as writing, poetry, and music since his trine are in air houses. He is deeply empathetic, sensitive, and mostly isn't afraid to do so. Drake has a reputation of being a guy who is in touch with feminine side, and he owns it with no apologies. You can definitely see his comfortability with his sensitive side with his Moon in Cancer.

ㅤㅤ

Sun conjunct Pluto shows that Drake is an intense, powerful, and introspective guy who often undergos tons of transformations in his life, especially when it comes to his values, thoughts, and opinions on things with his aspect in the 3rd house. These are the types of people who go through different personas and different periods. I bet if you looked back at one of drake's older photos, you could easily identify what type of era he was going through in his life. One thing I can say is that he is a man who is willing to change and learn for the better. On the other hand, this does show someone could have control issues and have an intense obsession with power. On the darker side, if this person has power, they have the potential to use it for the worse just to establish respect for others and satisfy their ego. I definitely do think his obsessive need for power shows in Mars square Pluto, especially when it comes to routine and how he wants things to be. He might like things to go his way and only his way, and would do anything it takes for it be so (Pluto in Scorpio), even in unconventional ways with his Mars in Aquarius. I'm not saying that this is true, but there are rumors that Drake orders hitman on several artists in the past. I think it's fascinating how this aspect aligns with that allegation.

ㅤ

Mercury square Ascendant shows that Drake struggles with communication and expressing his thoughts and opinions with associates and strangers during conversations. It is possible that Drake is an awkward person who he struggles with socializing a bit. On the other hand, he might just struggle with gettin his point across and could be easily misunderstood. Since his Mercury is in Scorpio and his Ascendant in Leo, it is possible that since Drake is a deep thinker and isn't uncomfortable expressing his intense feelings, people can almost be put off with how sudden his words are. This comes into conflict with his confident and bright disposition.

ㅤㅤ

Saturn square Ascendant can indicate that Drake struggles to express his natural personality around strangers and associates. With Saturn in the 4th house, Drake could've had a childhood that dealt with some type of restrictions, scarcity, or extreme responsibilities. Perhaps there was a strained relationship with the parents, financial hardship, or anything else. This could've caused Drake to develop a inherited shell in which he hides himself from others within the fear of being judged or criticized. He might be seen as too serious to individuals around him.

ㅤㅤ

Mercury conjunct Venus shows Drake's incredible talent in music, singing, and songwriting. He is also a beautiful communicator with his Venus in the 3rd house. In tons of interviews, Drake talks as though he is speaking poetry. He truly knows how to use his words. Not to mention, he is a good songwriter.

ㅤㅤ

Neptune trine Ascendant that Drake has the ability to shapeshift and become any type of character he wants to be. It is almost as though anyone can project their own fantasies and thoughts onto him and he'll become just that. Not to mention, Drake is undeniably talented in many areas considering that his Neptune is in 5th house. He's very versatile and has a performer quality with his Ascendant as Leo.

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ— his relationships.❞

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

With Moon trine Jupiter, Drake is a man with a huge and generous heart. He loves receiving love, and spreading love. People love to make jokes about how Drake is such a nice guy because he is from Canada. Astrologically, this aspects shows that. At one of his older concerts, he instructed everyone in the audience to give a person, even if they were a stranger, a hug. If that isn't Moon trine Jupiter activities, I don't know what is. With his Moon in the 11th and Jupiter in the 7th, Drake is abundant of any relationships and social connections. He could be very extroverted and has tons of friends and relations with people making him popular. He could also have a fruitful love life too and be very charming, especially with his Venus trine Jupiter. He is very popular with the opposite gender especially, and knows how to pursue them. However, due to these individuals being used to getting what they want in regards to love, pleasure, and materials, they could believe they could get literally anything they desire with no efforts or realism. Drake could struggle with believing that he cannot in fact have anyone he wants. At some point he could've lacked realism in his love life. These people tend to be extremely humorous too. Drake is a figure in the pop culture that is easily meme-ified nowadays.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Moon trine Pluto shows that Drake is also an intense person when it comes to his inner world. He feels very deeply, especially towards his loved ones and friends since Moon is in the 11th house. He is probably the type have many associates but a close-knit group of friends that he calls family. It must be hard to get into his circle because he values his privacy and exclusivity so much.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Moon opposition Neptune that although Drake is a compassionate, selfless, and charitable guy when it comes to his loved ones. He is also capable of being taken advantage of, or he is someone who takes advantage of others. He might be susceptible to projecting onto others or struggle to make sense of the people around him and his environment. Perhaps he has an issue with understand who is and isn’t his friends, which can cause him be surrounded by around a lot of fake people with Moon in the 11th house. It is best advised for him to make sense of it and keep his circle small as mentioned above.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Venus Retrograde shows that Drake is a guy who feels love differently than others. He feels it deeply and in his own unique way. Consider the fact that this retrograde only takes about 8% of the population—a pretty rare placement. Drake, generally, has a bunch of karmic lessons surrounding love, material things, and self-love in this life. He has to deal with karmic relationships and scenarios in order to improve his views on love and the idea of it in general. With his retrograde being in Scorpio in the 3rd house, Drake could be someone who struggles with possessiveness and clinginess. He could even be someone who is flaky, flighty, and might have an issue with committing. It’s his lesson to learn how to truly connect with others on a deeper level and get to know people genuinely without leaving at every new interest. According to Drake in one of his interviews when people said that he cannot be single forever, " I love my space and my routine. For me to break that it would have to be a really special person." This quote is the epitome of a venus retrograde individual. 

ㅤㅤ

Jupiter square Chiron shows that Drake has life lessons that will change his views and beliefs, particularly in this relationships since Jupiter in the 7th house. His career and his image will be the reason as to why. Chiron in Gemini in the 10th house shows that Drake will experience wounds and traumas surrounding being heard in the public eye. Again, he may have to deal with being misunderstood by the people, which can cause the wound of feeling as though he can't express his thoughts and say what he wants to say. This causes Drake to have a different view on relationships and connections in general.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ— his legacy/image.❞

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ

Sun sextile Midheaven shows that Drake is a pioneer in his area of occupation—Music and the arts. It is almost as though the talent of songs, writing, versatility, and creativity comes natural to him, especially since his Sun is in the 3rd house. Additionally, he receives tons of attention, fame, and popularity. He is also highly respected in his industry due to his glamorous persona.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Sun trine Chiron indicates that Drake is a confident, determined, and highly motivated man. Most importantly, he is incredibly versatile and talented with his Sun in the 3rd house. He used these traits to help himself gain respect in his industry especially with Chiron in the 10th house. This is allowing him to finally be heard and understood like he always wanted with his Chiron in Gemini. Mercury opposition Midheaven also shows how Drake has to deal with struggling with expressing his thoughts and opinions correctly to the public; hence, being misunderstood or not expressing himself at all.

ㅤㅤ

Venus opposition Midheaven shows that Drake finds his true pleasures in his private life. His personal life is where he truly finds satisfaction. With Venus in the 4th house, Drake definitely his pleasures in his home life, family, and security. He must also find pleasure in his privacy and people not knowing much about him and his life circumstances with his Venus in Scorpio. He prefers to invest in the luxuries of life with his loved ones when no one is watching.

ㅤㅤ

With his Leo Ascendant at the 29°, the 29° is the degree of maturity or near completion. With Drake, he probably at a point where has achieved ultimate full growth in how he perceived life, how he responds to his environment, and how he presents himself. In the past, he might have struggled with an ego or selfishness. Now, he is at the level where he is truly self-confident and secure in himself and he owns who he is with no apologies.

ㅤㅤ

🦉

ㅤㅤ

[watchtheblog]

Cutting Slack

hello to the hierarchy of my besties: irl besties, internet besties, fantasy besties; the hierarchy of my haters: just the three of you, followed by someone who goes by the alias k.s on google reviews; an ever dwindling number of exes who can read, a handful of people i’m just getting to know who are about to know me too well too fast, and anyone else who has stumbled upon this highly specific page on the internet!!

if you’ve been here before, you know the deal. i’m going to weave a web of little jokes into a somewhat coherent story and then as a reward for knowing me you get the opportunity to see 20 things i hope to receive for my birthday, which, i hope you know… is tomorrow (26 september); i’m turning 94.

The joke web:

In february 2023 after the company I co-created sold to one of the corniest companies on the planet, I quit because they wanted me to set forth eight hours a day I would be available to do work. Seven years into a job I’d put 8 hours a year into, this was a startling task.

Also, they wanted me to become a member of slack, or get on slack, or write to them in slack. Or do something, whatever one does, on slack. You can do a lot of things to me, but what you’re not gonna do is make me go on slack. Many have tried in the past and not a one has ever succeeded.

Not to sound like Mark Cuban - or myself in [redacted] years -  but an 8 hour workday was not for me. And I explained this. I told a woman alleging to be my supervisor that every morning I woke up, I did cult for 20 minutes, wrote in my journal for 45 minutes, went for a 1 hour walk, came home, showered, drank a little poison, read for one hour in my garden, did some dilly dallying on the internet, and then I went to an appointment*, and by the time I was done with all of that it was already 4pm and that’s wind down time in my culture. 

Where did she want me to find 8 hours?!

(*i realize appointment time is not a thing (everyone can understand) but I’m gonna have to save it for another post. appointment time is sacred in a directionless little bug’s life and it deserves to be explained properly.)

If you think I’m joking that I laid out this schedule to a woman who was born inside a human resources complaint folder and whose dearly departed soul resides within a ludicrously capacious bag somewhere, I beg you to get to know me better.

Fundamentally, she did not understand and spiritually I was not the messenger to enlighten her, so I decided to quit.

I am impulsive by nature but this decision was incredibly thought out. I wrote down a list of pros and cons and I titled the cons list “things I’m not aligned with” and I listed 11 things.

“I dont want to be managed!!!!!!” (this is a literal copy and paste) topped the chart.

To follow? “Corporate weirdness”, and, simply: “Slack”.

On the pros list I wrote: “Freedom”, “I will finally be free”. (LOL!) Underneath it, it says “Take a fucking risk.”

I sat with these lists for approximately three minutes, and then I wrote an email announcing my resignation. And then I quite literally never spoke to anyone there ever again.

This all leads me to one short pivot before we’ll arrive at our final destination of my birthday list. 

When I mentioned earlier that I am impulsive by nature, I mean that I quit my job because someone said there was a question posed to me in Slack and I needed to answer it came to Ohio to visit my dad’s (RIP) childhood home and my (then) girlfriend convinced me to call the number on a commercial real estate building and within 45 days I’d signed a lease and 90 days later I had packed, driven, and moved my entire life across the country. 

When I moved here, I knew no one so I did a lot of things you may think only people who are on reality dating shows do, like: go to an espresso martini making class, cook marshmallows over an open fire in a state park at night with strangers, slide down a snowy hill on a plastic saucer as an activity, or attend a local rat’s birthday party.*

*disclaimer for anyone here who doesn’t GET me bc I’m scared to be misunderstood: i loved all of these things I’m not mocking them; I’m simply holding a light to the absurdity of my *on the spectrum, agoraphobic weirdo* ass doing these things in earnest because i needed to not kms. ◡̈  kms stands for k*ll myself.*

(Of course all of these things on a reality dating show would involve two people, whereas in my case I did all of those things alone.)

As a treat for my efforts to be a member of society, the universe provided me with the unique gift of meeting the anthropomorphic version of my intrusive thoughts!! 

We’ll call her Gloria (for no reason) and in our first phone conversation she had called everyone in the state of ohio “fat, lazy and bipolar” and told me my business would fail.

One minute after we hung up, she texted asking if I wanted to sauna with her right now. Now mind you, I’ve been doing shit “for the lore” since before it was called “lore” and men were just telling me I was insane (simpler times!!) so I grabbed a bikini and drove 9 minutes ready to go in a sauna with a random lady I’d never met.

And go in a sauna with a random lady I did... fully clothed for a reason that both confused and relieved me. In that sauna, Gloria repeated the aforementioned phone topics and added a pointed “nobody wants to work out; you will fail” while staring at me in a box heated to 130 degrees.

“It’s okay. Everything is always working out for me” I told her as she persisted in her negativity, because I lacked the ability to just tell her to shut the fuck up (and also because that is true). 

I considered the possibility of her behavior coming from a good intentioned place, like when cars driving the opposite direction flash their lights to let you know they just passed a cop (as if that ever hits). I considered it was an act of humanity, one unstable woman to another; trying to save me from the hell she thought was inevitable given her own - self proclaimed - “failure”. (she had opened and closed a studio of her own.)

So I let her keep flashing her dumb lights at me, showing up to my studio uninvited in the middle of my buildout telling me I should see if my landlord would let me out of my lease, texting me little foreboding horror stories about the perils of being in the fitness industry, sending me local businesses that were closing as if to say “i told you so; i’m warning you.”

“You’ll see” she said multiple times, as if to predict my ultimate demise in a way I’d be able to reflect on in the future, remembering she’d warned me. 

In those moments and in the months of desperation and grind leading up to the opening of my business I had no other choice but to move forward blindly, confidently. Long before I met this psychopath I had prepared for the possibility of failure. Unlike this woman, however, that preparation involved the potential of having to say “I failed… now what?” rather than “I failed. I’m the rule, not the exception. The journey is impossible.”

It’s been almost two years since I left the career I thought would define me, and while I certainly haven’t failed, I’m not writing this from the other side. I’m writing this from the beginning of a long journey I’m prepared and excited to be on that began the day I decided to take a fucking risk.

Two years ago I couldn’t find 8 hours a day to work and now somehow I’ve found 14-18…

and not a single one of them has been spent on slack. 

The Gift Portion!!!  the intangible: for the dismantling of nextdoor dot com, for all my bad memories to be erased, to win the war against seed oils, for the ai to stop(!!!), that the person who sullied my google reviews finds God and healing bc going against me is a form of psychosis, for great deals on this upcoming amazon prime day, that natalia grace is ok, that i never hear a telephone ring again, for watermelon to be in season all the time, that nobody is ever mad at me, that all eggs would turn to donuts in a way that would not have negative implications for chickens or negative repercussions for farmers, that everyone bounces back from whatever inevitable side effects ozempic will have, that my frequently used emoji are all safe and sound after getting rearranged, and for everyone I know and love to read the source by dr tara swart, and that they are all happy, healthy, successful, and in love forever.

the ones you can buy: these shoes (size 38)  or these shoes (size 38) also these (and you guessed it! 38) i want to fix my brain here, a casual five day immersive neurofeedback experience this watch this large suitcase or this one i cant pick this gorgeana kind of urgently, this these shoes (great deal alert!!!!) (size 38) i think the trajectory of my life would change if i owed four of these and maybe some other things to go with it big year for shoes … huge a stunning linen spray this practical thing her this or something else from her(e) these, white, small also kind of urgently, these this definitely the max mara teddy coat in the absolute smallest size and this is the last time I’m gonna put it here!!!!!! ykto!!! (lol!!)

[sylvies-chen]

ok it’s been a while since I posted my rookie squad group chat headcanons but since it got so many notes I figured I would do a part 2??? I might try and incorporate some new s5b and s6 stuff in here too. so here it is!

the rookie group chat headcanons - part 2

when lucy’s on a long undercover stint one time, the whole crew makes a fake website pretending to be top chef fans looking for a fan server, just so that she can “join” and eventually start a text chain with these “strangers” where they pretend not to know each other for a while and then talk about their days

bailey and her wild friend blow uppp the ladies only group chat one night with misspelled drunken texts and selfies of them, and the morning after bailey immediately asks angela to plan the bachelorette party because she wouldn’t be able to stand doing that crazy shit one more night

bailey also makes a text chain with nyla angela and tamara and they conspire to make lucy catch the bouquet so that tim will take the hint and get a ring already

thorsen and celina have their own dnd group chat, but they still try and recruit the rest of the gang every now and then. grey nearly has a stroke trying to understand what the hell a “level 16 paladin” means

but ohhhhh when celina MAKES them all understand the dm alignment chart. she sends it to them and then will regularly respond to things with “that’s so chaotic neutral of you tim” or “wesley always on ur lawful good beat” just to annoy them. they all hate it, but slightly less than when she uses zodiac signs in the same way

thorsen once sent an entire bob the builder episode file to the group chat with the caption “nolan- any notes?” and then went mia for twelve hours

harper will intentionally call aaron and celina the wrong names just to make sure no one thinks she’s getting too chummy or soft 

they try to group facetime and it goes about as well as you expect: grey doesn’t know how to hold the camera right, lucy keeps putting a cat filter on tim’s face, nolan keeps playing with the green screen backgrounds and angela keeps muting him

henry, tamara, dominique, and lila all have a “mid-wilshire kids” group chat. they keep it pretty pg for lila since she’s a bit younger, but mostly just use it to talk about their parents. eventually they let cyrus in because james finds out and suggests they include him. (james, per their request, keeps it a secret, because he’s sure if they ever found out their kids were sneaking around and giggling about them, their parents would not be having it lol)

I could do this all dayyyyy lol lmk if you want part 3!

[hitchell-mope]

(Babysitter alignment chart. Stranger things edition)

Actual parent: Jim. Joyce

Sleeps the whole time: Robin

Babysitter supreme: Jonathan. Nancy. Argyle.

May as well have sold the kid to the devil: Brenner. Hargrove.

Says they don’t care but secretly keeps watch: Steve

The child: Mike. Jane. Lucas. Max. Will. Dustin

[fixedfour]

Hi! I love your posts so much, thank you for sharing them with us! I saw you said that Amarius's stars are perfectly aligned with his position, would you mind sharing more on that? He's definitely one of my favorite rookies and I know he's got the talent to potentially go far with us! I do worry about injuries but he said in a recent interview that this latest one has taught him he needs to listen to his body more (just like Joe lol) so hopefully this is a good lesson for him!

🤧💜 please i have been dying to ask you for your moon sign but that's so intrusive of me lol!

but yes!! Amarius definitely has a chart i would point to and say, this is the man you need

he has an impressive stellium in Virgo (Mars, Mercury, and Sun, and honestly this stellium deserves a post on its own), but what really stands out in his chart to me is his Jupiter in Cancer! Jupiter is exalted here, so his Jupiter is operating at a higher level than most

take into account his sheer size, 6'7 and 340 lbs-- Jupiter is the largest planet in the solar system, and his stature is truly a reflection of this Jupiterian trait. but it's not just his size that's being impacted-- it's his instinct and talent to protect.

Ketu was born in the sign of Cancer, and Ketu rules that lizard part of the brain, the primal instinct, (things you just KNOW), and just how one of Jupiter's role in the solar system is to protect earth from asteroids and any other disturbance, his exalted Jupiter really helps him excel in his position as OT.

watching him in action gives the very essence of this placement (Jupiter in Cancer). there is ease and skill when it comes to protecting. Of course everyone is coachable, but his placement definitely finds ease in this position. And on top of his Virgo placements!! Virgo has been a favorite sign to see in those of running backs, it adds agility and quickness, so despite his size, his virgo placements paired with his exalted Jupiter is truly special.

some of my favorite 'mundane' examples of Jupiter in Cancer can be found in r/DadReflexes, which i feel is such a classic example of what the role of the father (Jupiter) plays in child rearing (cancer). but most examples in this sub you see the father just.. knowing how to cushion a fall, protect his child's head, etc. that is the quality Amarius brings to the offense.

@cementcornfield 😌 thank you for the question i love talking about things like this so !!!

and absolutely no one asked for this, but my other favorite 'mundane' example of Jupiter in Cancer in play, is found in Kendrick Lamar's DUCKWORTH. and the story about Ducky who slipped extra chicken and biscuits (food, Cancer) in Anthony's order when he slid through the drive thru in order to get on his good side, and not get robbed/shot. which arguably led to one of the most amazing deliveries and testaments to the role of the father in someone's life. "20 years later, them same strangers you make them meet again, inside recording studios where they're reaping their benefits":

imagine if kendrick's father didn't slip extra food all those years ago.. now kendrick is undeniably one of the most famous rappers alive. this is the result of a choice which easily reflects an exalted Jupiter.

[spinef0ryou]

Interview with Ville Valo in Metal Hammer magazine, words by Alexander Milas. Transcript under the cut

It’s a gloomy November evening in London and inside the crystalline bowels of the Universal Music tower there are dark goings-on under a winter moon. An arcane gathering of power-brokers, decision makers, and tastemakers, has convened to hear the first, dulcet tones of a new record in its entirety - a lyrical and melodious exsanguination called Neon Noir. Less an album, the subject of tonight’s attention is more like a swan song played in reverse or a departed loved one’s voice playing in the wind. We’ll get to that.

There are no robes here, such vestigial ornaments long since done away with to provide anonymity on public transportation, but the importance of these proceedings is in no way diminished. This is how the music industry in all its mysterious dealings determines where and when its various powers are to be invoked - an Illuminati-like network of aligned hands is this rogues' gallery of journalists, label managers and festival promoters. Even the helmswoman of the gazette you hold in your verv hands can be seen lurking in the shadows.

At the centre of the dim chamber stands a lone, flat-capped figure, his chiselled visage peculiarly, vampirically unchanged by the many years since he first graced the cover of an international publication such as this, and let it be said that he was never a stranger to these folios.

If anything can be said of Ville Valo's appearance it's that he could teach anyone half his age a thing or two about self-presentation - and, for the record, they'd be 23 at time of publication. Svelte, casually besuited and elegantly understated in his attire - all different hues of black, obviously - he's been affably chatting with the gathered conclave with such fluidity and confidence that anyone would think it's something he does every day, and anyone who knows his incongruous penchant for reclusiveness when off the stage would suspect that maybe he's changed since we saw him last.

For the record, he does not, and he has not. Ten long years have passed since His Infernal Majesty's final release, the career summation that was 2013's Tears On Tape, and it has been five years since Him played their final note on the second of two sold-out nights at the London Roundhouse in December of 2017. Their concluding song was the aptly chosen, syrupy dirge of When Love And Death Embrace, and the mortuary pallor of its refrains couldn't have been better matched to the forlorn mood of that distinctly funereal moment.

For many, it was a farewell to one of life's few constants: Him were less like a band and more like a comforting gothic world to those who fell prey to its blackened enchantments, and as if further affirmation is needed, no one in the field of music has since emerged to even remotely fill the heartagram-shaped hole left in Ville's wake. As the lights in the venue went up to reveal no shortage of streaked mascara, it would have been impossible to surmise whether we'd ever hear from Ville again - such was the finality of that tour and the deathly vibe of that night.

More desolate still was the long silence that ensued after the 26-year adventure he spearheaded under an iconic banner designed by his own hand. Eight records, ten million sales and countless fans getting heartagram tattoos of variable quality were the tallies of Ville's musical ledger.It was over. Him was dead. Their founder was gone. And then, quietly, headless blooms began to flank his headstone.

First came the news that he was blowing off the cobwebs to undertake a tour of Finland to record and perform songs by the late, beloved Finnish singer-songwriter Rauli 'Badding' Somerjoki, with Somerjoki's old band, Agents. The project smashed the charts in Finland before they eventually disbanded.

More silence followed until March 2020, when an unheralded EP was released under a new banner, VV complete with an updated reimagining of the famed heartagram. A portent of what was to come, Gothica Fennica Vol. 1 was far from alien to anyone familiar with Him's long-established sound, but it also bore the hallmarks of a songwriter unbound by the restraints of collaboration or co-writing. As the world smouldered, it was a hopeful omen that perhaps not everything had been lost to the pandemic.

We retreat from the listening session to a quieter room to shine to shine a neon light on the story of the rebirth and toil that followed, a res-erection-

Ville shoots a look as if to say, 'You're not gonna write that, are you?' Well…

“‘Promo tours are like Bullet-point for my Valentine.”

Ville has sunk into his armchair, a body deflated. We've just been talking about the sometimes less-than-rock'n'roll demands of album promotion, and how while just 10 years have passed since Him's final release, a lifetime of change in the industry's inner workings has followed. It's Thursday and Ville's already done the rounds in Berlin this week, plus a big photo session, too - rumour has it that a smoke machine for a cover shoot triggered a confrontation with security here yesterday. Whoever the photographer was that bolted the door shut so the shoot could continue remains a mystery at the time of going to press.

But despite Ville's tiredness after two days of media-based pokes and prods and his first international flight in five years, he's still exhibiting a remarkably playful way with words: the product of voracious reading and self-confessed Anglophilia that can make it easy to forget this is his second language, although as we'll soon discover there are some words that resist translation.

We're reflecting on how many times he's appeared in the pages of Metal Hammer. I produce a photo from many years gone by, taken by Mick Hutson. It's Ville, looking like a goth deer caught in headlights, sitting in the back of a limo between the late Dimebag Darrell and Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx on his way to the Metal Hammer Golden God awards. He smirks.

"It was a playground, wasn't it?" he says of the Ville of yore. "Oh my god, that was a weird one. I remember Dimebag - he'd been up all night, and there's me stuck in the middle. I gave my Golden God award to Zakk Wylde's daughter. He told me she was a huge fan and I'd had a sip too many, so…”

And let it be said that by the time Him went stratospheric - a runway stretching between 2000's Razorblade Romance and 2003's definitive Love Metal - there were few publications that weren't peppering their pages with images of Ville. photogenic but, more importantly, hilarious, his wry and dismissive self-regard tempered the styled polish of his many covershoots. In a time when emo was king, Ville brought something current but gleefully out of step with fashion, musical and otherwise, but he persevered because, arguably, beyond the music he possessed that rare quality that escapes so many whose trade is on the road and in music studios. He was interesting, and Him and their legion of fans were their own movement. For a time, if you ever stood at the back of one of their sold-out shows, it looked something like Beatlemania directed by Tim Burton.

“What would you say to yourself back then?” He smiles and takes a moment before replying.

“It isn't a horror movie thing, but my oldest self has whispered to my younger self many times. You know, I could have done stuff way wiser in the sense of trying to become more successful in terms of money, listening to record companies or whatnot, because people had a damn hard time trying to figure out what we were all about. I wouldn't do anything differently because then I wouldn't be here - that's the beauty of it."

And, tracing the course of what Ville did, what he's doing now, there's little to suggest that anything has changed in terms of his resistance to the common methods of self-promotion. In a time of compulsive micro-blogging and algorithm-feeding content, the official 'Heartagram' Instagram account posts at roughly the same rate as the Vatican. Be it about the preservation of mystery or a refusal to play the game, let it never be said that he didn't do it his way.

“I’m a slow learner. I only learned about the eggplant emoji yesterday! But as for those whispers, it's something to do with the nonlinearity of time," he continues. "I had some foresight to the pandemic, though, and found myself a house with a photography studio which I turned into a music studio. It's one big room that enabled me to spread around all the weird pieces of kit from all eras - sort of my creative central. During the pandemic, that's all I did. There was no rhyme or reason, I just thought it was time to move on and do something different. It could have been my older self whispering to my younger self in the middle of the night, like, 'Now's a good time. You'll understand it better in a few years.' So yeah, it could be one of those things."

We notice a white wall in the corridor is covered in dozens of Sharpie signatures from fellow artists who’ve passed through. Some are small, while pop groups Bastille and Westlife have gone big with huge cubital letters. Unimpressed, Ville reaches for a glow-in-the-dark V sticker from his breast pocket and wryly sticks it up at the top. Always a rebel.

Was it hard to decide which direction to go in after Him?

“Musically, I'm a pair of bell-bottoms," he says. "If you want to follow hits, you're always going to be too late. Music and art is essential for my wellbeing, it's the air that I breathe - it's natural for me, but at times I've felt like a human among the lizard people, an infiltrator from another galaxy. The only thing I can do is the thing I can do."

Of course, it raises the question of how VV and indeed Neon Noir came about. That Ville has always presided over every detail of his music is no secret - there's never been a doubt as to whose vision it all was, and the ending of Him is just as important as the beginning we're here to discuss. As anyone who's seen the end of a relationship will know, the signs of impending demise can appear long before the cracks emerge, and the conclusion of Him was no different. To paraphrase a singer named BB on the prologue to VV, the thrill was gone...

"Expiration is funny when it comes to bands," he says matter-of-factly. Whatever wounds may have been inflicted, they have long since closed, and he's at ease when prompted on what went down.

"It didn't happen overnight - we'd started having trouble after Tears On Tape. Gas (Lipstick] had left the band and we found a new drummer, which was fantastic for a time, but we just couldn't find it in ourselves - a new album. We started working on ideas, but they didn't sound very good. The adult way to approach things is that if it's something you really do love, you have to love them enough to let them go when the right moment comes. The spark was no longer there, so timing-wise, it was good - I wouldn't have minded it to happen a little earlier because now I see the end of my own career in the distance. I never wanted it to feel like a job. You'll see bands touring where it quite clearly is. Something so central needs to be full of passion and laughter and joy and tears - dramatic, like a pint of milk."

Dairy funny. Have you been in touch with the guys since then, we ask?

"I haven't been in touch with Gas in more than 10 years," comes the reply. "And Linde [Mikko 'Linde' Lindström, guitarist] is quite a solitary fellow who's not a big talker anyway. But Mige [Mikko 'Mige' Paananen, bassist] was a bit of a Rick Rubin on the album. He was like this weird guru that came by every three months and gave me a stamp of approval, like, 'Yeah, this is fine.' He's one of my earliest childhood friends and one of my best mates still, so we keep in touch - that's rare. It's been 35 years or something..."

It was that relationship that provided something of the lifeline that Ville needed. He describes the feeling after Him's final show as something akin to phantom limb syndrome, where amputees report sensation in appendages that are no longer there.

"I felt like an outsider, an outcast," he says. "[I felt like] I didn't understand myself, and that the world doesn't understand me or that I didn't belong. It's a profound feeling, you know, to existentially feel that you don't understand the world or your place in it. Funnily enough, how I got through that was writing. The pandemic really painted everyone into a corner. I wasn't suicidal, but there was a tinge of depression as well, not seeing tomorrow or the worth of the day after tomorrow. People reacted in different ways. I forced myself back to music, and music gave me the gift of song once again. I was able to pull off a couple of Sabbath rip-offs, so that made me feel better. That was a big deal."

Ville will go on to animatedly recount how the loss of purpose and trajectory coupled with the worldwide shutdown was in some sense the perfect reset post-Him, and while he hit a very low ebb, it was precisely the kind of downtime he needed and hadn't had since Him's formation when he was just a teen.

"There was no scheduling, nobody to communicate with about what I was working on, so it was very unfiltered intuition, straight to tape or whatever recording medium, and I found myself having goosebumps like I'd never had before. Well..." his eyes impishly go to the ceiling, "musically, at least. I'm scared of stuff being really repetitive - it's nice to enjoy a binge watch on Netflix, but you're never gonna get the time back. That doesn't mean, 'Don't do it! But enjoy the now, take advantage of the time. That's what we'll be doing when we go on tour with the band next year, challenging myself to do lots of things and not step into a sort of zombified existence. People are so distracted…”

At the beginning of the Divine Comedy, the main character - Dante Alighieri's Pilgrim - wrote of finding himself in a dark wood halfway through the walk of life; the straight path, lost. It was a roundabout way of describing the confusion that can come with middle age, but in his mid-4os and with the deep shadows and brilliant highlights of an illustrious career in the rear-view mirror, I wonder aloud if the same could be said of the current predicament.

Dante's come up because, as is often the case with Ville, the subjects of language and literature are never far away. I ask him to elaborate on that tinge of depression he's mentioned, and he says one thing. and lets it hang in the air: "Kaiho."

Sorry?

"Kai-ho," he says again, slowly. It's a Finnish word, he explains, that defies direct translation but describes the twist of emotions he was detangling in the wake of a lifetime on the road and in the limelight. "It isn't a negative feeling. It's a bittersweet reverie. I think Finnish people find it profoundly positive as well, because it also means that you have lived, you have loved and that you experience things that actually make a difference, at least to you personally, hopefully, for the people around you."

Did you struggle?

"I had a month where I didn't get out of bed," he states.

"Around that long, at least. I was pretty worried about it. I forced myself up and back to music through conversations with mates, you know, getting my spirits up a bit, but it was a weird feeling. It's not like you can't get up. You just don't want to get up. You don't want to do anything and you can't really do anything: just super-tired, some form of post-traumatic stress after all the years. It could be that it took a while for it to hit, and it coincided with a pandemic. I wasn't able to do anything, so my body and my mind told me to get the sleep I missed back in the day. Thankfully I slept it off, but life doesn't get any easier. It's getting more complicated, more bittersweet - a tough combo. A pint half full, half empty…”

Of course, the wrought-iron melody of Neon Noir's various paeans to love and loss wouldn't seem correct if they came from a place of emotional buoyancy, but if the slump Ville describes really was just making up for lost sleep-time, he's making no bones about his desire to get back to work.

"I'm not thinking about the end, but what I do realise is that, thinking in logical terms, it's going to be really weird if I'm 60 and still in it, which means that I have less than that in terms of album cycles. It starts to get a bit scary because I've done music all my life, but then again, thinking like that makes me smile."

So how does a 46-year-old's vision of love change from, say, a 20-year-old's?

"Well, maybe we haven't had that 'one true love' in the traditional sense in Shakespearean drama: the overwhelming one that takes over everything. You can't compare relationships and you shouldn't - different times, different people, different chemistry, different reasons. Music is still at its best when it's a soundtrack to important events."

So how does Neon Noir reflect your own life?

"It's very sincere - it encapsulates things. The indecisiveness on whether I belong to the camp of Black Sabbath or Depeche Mode, the constant struggle with good and evil. Run Away From The Sun is the first song I wrote and I didn't know if I had a song in me at all, but I had to start from somewhere. I had all these ideas. I started to do it and follow my intuition. I wasn't in a rush, I had no deadlines - I didn't even know if I was going to continue, and that was the most fruitful ground, because it felt real and unadulterated by pressure…”

As new as it all is for Ville, there are some things that have remained unchanged, or perhaps present is a better word. The heartagram was, after all, the gothic bat-signal of the early 00’s onward...

"It was everything Him stood for," he says. "I just wiggled that one line and realised it has my initials, and that was the reason I called the project VV, and I liked that it had a 'V for Victory' kinda vibe to it, and visually it had the traditional aspect to it, a current iteration of the same idea. It's symbolic, because I didn't want to force myself to take a completely different route musically. I'm not an actor, and Him all happened very organically. I was finding my voice, or whatever you want to call it, through Type O and Black Sabbath back then, and I still am."

From the mood in the room it's a welcome return indeed. It seems that for the first time in a lifetime he's found his path -with the help of a little neon to hold back the darkness.

LIGHTS OUT

Ville Valo reveals the dark secrets behind new album Neon Noir

01: ECHOLOCATE YOUR LOVE

"I was enjoying a documentary on the navigational skills of bats and imagined their nocturnal courting calls bouncing eerily between the walls of the abyss in a gothic ping pong-fashion. To make sure I was communicating this musical vision clearly, I included a cowbell in the middle eight, just because whenever one can, one should."

02: RUN AWAY FROM THE SUN

"The light at the end of the tunnel can sometimes shine so bright it’s scary, and my running-away skills have been highly developed over the years by sweeping most of my issues under the carpet. There are also a few church bell samples ringing among all the 80s-inspired synth sequences, only to make sure the ever-fickle balance between good and evil doesn't err on the side of Skywalker."

03: NEON NOIR

“ A cheerful memento mori if there ever was one, and my first guitar solo on record. The working title was 'Vangelis Halen' and I think I managed to get fairly close in marrying the claustrophobic beauty of Blade Runner with the reckless abandon of VH, in a sort of funeral-car-crash-in-slow-motion-type setting.”

04: LOVELETTING

“ An ode to the setting sun and a tale of dancing on the razor's edge between holding on and letting go. A moribundle of joy in a patchouli garden, with handclaps."

05: THE FOREVERLOST

"The Finnish tourism board should definitely include ‘Nyctophile Shangri-La' as a tagline promoting Finland from now on instead of the worn-out Santanic slogans of yore. A menace-à-trois between Andrew Eldritch, Jaz Coleman and Peter Hook.”

06: BABY LACRIMARIUM

“Quite a traditional love song written by someone who takes the Poe in poetry a wee bit too seriously. A study on blocked tear ducts and The Cure."

07: SALUTE THE SANGUINE

"None of the ways out are easy, so taking the road less travelled is always the preferred method. 'If I could only say the same about the music,’ mutters the little Devil on my shoulder."

08: IN TRENODIA

"A world-building exercise at its bleakest, 'Trenodia' representing a highly modified utopia lit by every shade of blue, with a suitably melancholy soundtrack played at the wrong speed."

09: HEARTFUL OF GHOSTS

"Heartful Of Ghosts is essentially a heart-wrenching tale of paranormal love and supernatural betrayal. Sonically, this lies somewhere between a lava lamp and acupuncture... with fangs.”

10: SATURNINE SATURNÁLIA

"Saturnine Saturnalia is romantic doom and gloom at its very finest, and probably the most Sabbathian moment there is on the album. I dug out my Excalibur - the deranged fuzz pedal and vintage army flask-combo that Mige of Him built me many a moon ago - and tended to my tinnitus with gusto.”

11: ZENER SOLITAIRE

"Imagine if this was Phil Spector's ghost reinterpreting Goblin's soundtrack for Dario Argento's movie Suspiria in glorious lo-fi."

12: VERTIGO EYES

"When you meet someone whose eyes are as hypnotic as watching the Vertigo logo spinning on your turntable, you're either in love or your drink has been spiked. This is a nod to the ghosts of the past, present and future, and a suitably hallucinatory way to end the record."