#straight up letting the man come in aaaaaaaaa
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zantedeschia-praesul · 4 months ago
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"I…"
Oh how can he even put it without freaking him out??
"I think…we need to sit down for this."
Saseki takes his hands and gently leads him to the nearby porch before sitting down on one side. At least they would be just a touch comfortable once he…reveals this particular secret to his beloved.
"Yui…I mentioned before about how I came to be as saniwa back then…because of my affinity for all the swords that had served in the Bakumatsu, as well as the Shinsengumi…well…there is…another thing that I didn't mention to you back then…"
He takes another deep breath, and sighs slowly.
"It happened after Nagasone came home…I started to have memories of the past…someone else's, but it felt so natural to me, like they all belonged to me once upon a time ago…I see…visions, fleeting ones…of Kondou Isami, and Hijikata Toshizo…but I couldn't see the one other person whom the memories truly belong to…but then it came clear to me why I couldn't see Okita Souji…"
He looks at Yuichi, before he closes his eyes once more, exhaling another slow breath as he did. Only a few moment, before he opens his eyes again, and this time…
The soft blue hue is more prominent in that pair of eyes, that now holds the gaze of a seasoned fighter instead of the soft gaze of his beloved sage.
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"He is a part of me, as I am a part of him..."
He gives Saseki's hand the gentlest of squeezes, still holding it delicately in both of his own, as he smiles back at him, expression equally as soft as Saseki thanks him.
But then, hearing the other describe Yuichi as a 'ray of sunshine'... he laughs a little, honestly surprised, but finds himself touched enough that the sound winds up being a half-cry, too. Never, not once, before or after becoming saniwa, would he have described himself in such a way, regardless of his conscious efforts to make his men and his friends happy.
He's going to be remembering that later, that's for sure.
Yuichi shifts his attention, though, as Saseki speaks again.
"Oh-- of course..."
He looks at him with earnest eyes, once more giving his hand a small squeeze, ready to hear whatever it might be that Saseki is to trust him with.
"What is it?"
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fire-lizard-ro · 11 months ago
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Mini post about Gallagher because @pix3lplays and I were talking about him... Like we always do with these Star Rail men... Man-
We're so Normal about him I swear-
Here's a bunch of ideas and headcanons in no particular order because I cannot scrape together enough sense after seeing that official art of him to make this coherent:
Writing under the cut (dw it's SFW I just started doing this for convenience):
Leaks suggested he had a bunch of scarring on his arms and if you look closely at his hands in the official art, he has some on his hands and juuuust under some of the bandages. Imagine kissing his scars... Auuuu-
I said it before and I'll say it again he's a big ol' puppy. Big scruffy scary dog puppy man. The way he's so attentive with you and concerned for your health, safety, and wellbeing at all times. I actually don't think he'd be the biggest on PDA. However- That doesn't stop what happens when he's protective. You'd be in a crowd and in order to shield you from the hustle and bustle, he'd pull you in close with an arm wrapped around you.
He totally rubs his cheek against yours like a fuckin cat as like an affection thing but also sometimes to mess with you because it's scratchy.
Definitely has a Chair. It's His Chair. By the fireplace. But he, of course, let's you sit in it whenever he isn't sitting there. And if he is? Pats his leg to you can come sit in his lap. You two often take naps there, cuddled up with one another.
Those buttons of his are fighting for their LIVES but you aren't complaining. He jolts a little before smirking at you when you slip a hand between said buttons to feel the exposed skin there as well as plenty of what the shirt does cover.
Pix and I like to think that he's naturally warm. Whether this is because he is a fire pathstrider is up to interpretation.
Also please tell me he's another guy who just straight says run them hands his hands are his weapon-
(I wonder if we're getting a character in HSR who just straight up throws hands like "time for some fisticuffs". Because I didn't even think about it, but Stelle in the new trailer didn't have her bat or lance she was gonna like Stellaron punch someone??? Bro gimme the "run them hands" strat right NOW Hoyo- Going back to Gallagher... Like yeah I wanna watch him straight up punch someone, lolllll- And look at his left glove!!! It has those little metal thingies on the knuckles like come ON-)
Speaking of him being a big ol puppy for you... I should write about him being a cute puppo boy... ANYWAYS-
Pix talked about kissing his scruffy chin and my immediate thought was:
"Leaning up to kiss his chin because of height difference and jwefoi he just thinks it's cute and you see the way his eyes soften weoigj- I feel like he'd lean down for you only to move so he can kiss you properly at the last second. And then he would give you lil eskimo kisses and gently murmur against your lips the softest lil "my wife..." as if it's his favorite thing to say as if it's him reminding himself and being happy about it all over again weoigjwe-"
(Yes that thought was a bit more catered to me as a certified Wife, okay??? Leave me alone- OTL)
ALSO PIX WITH THEIR HUGE WRINKLY BRAIN BROUGHT UP THE IDEA OF DANCING IN THE KITCHEN WITH HIM???
So ofc I had to write a bit about it:
It's late at night and you two just finished dinner together as a sort of stay at home date. You've already cleaned the dishes together and put everything away, relishing silently in the domestic feeling of doing those tasks together.
And then suddenly he's wrapped his arms around you, nose buried in your hair as he kisses your head. Slowly, he turns you around.
One kiss... Two kisses... "Dance with me?" "I don't know how." "I'll teach you."
Tugs you forward so you can stand on his feet as the two of you sway and dance in the kitchen, the only music being the sound of your hearts that now beat in sync.
aaAAAAAAA HELP-
Anyways more about this absolute Husband of a man again at a later time goodbye iewjgo-
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blackstarmylove · 2 years ago
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Asks About Characters (Kei, Sin, Takami)
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Ask: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS KEI HIDING I'M CURIOUS ABOUT HIM I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS AAAAAAAAA
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Kei is hiding A LOT; he knows more information than everyone in Starless combined. 
He knows about MC, her past and present, and he also has an insight into her future, and that’s why he’s trying to protect her - he doesn’t want that “future” to come true (the future being, MC getting hurt, kidnapped, or even killed). 
He knows about Blackcard and MC’s connection to that organization. 
He knows about the Mikis and what’s going on with them/where they are. 
Kei’s backing is very strong (or he, himself, is a very powerful man), and he has connections. 
I wouldn’t be surprised if he could get the background information on anyone he wants on Starless. Actually, he might have info on every person in the restaurant. Imagine someone messing with Kei, and Kei saying, “I can get information on you from the day you were born until now. It would only take me one phone call.” 😂
Kei also doesn’t want MC to regain her memories. If the plot is based exactly on Lonhengrin, then MC was framed for something she didn’t do. Donuts usually makes everything dark, so maybe MC accidentally hurt someone or was indirectly the reason for their demise. 
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Ask: Hi Lancer, what do you know about Sin or think about him? I have a lot of unknowns about him. What if he mentioned in some card or part of the story, and I missed it because of the lack of Sin's cards (bad luck with the gacha) and "bad translation from Japanese to English/Spanish" of the internet translators. I have doubts about what he does after starless or things from his past, and if he knows mc from before.
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We know Sin joined Starless at the older location and was brought in by Iwami. In his borderline card, he returned to the old restaurant and destroyed some evidence, but Donuts never told us anything about it. He also know what’s going on with MC and their past or relation to Blackcard. 
In borderline, he tried to make MC remember her past (along with Zakuro) and played the original BlackStar CD. The original song has a trigger that makes MC pass out and recall bits of her past. We don’t know if he personally knows MC, but when MC landed in the hospital after BL, Kei said “Iwami” - hinting that Iwami may have asked Sin to play BlackStar to trigger MC’s memories. 
There’s also another mystery with Sin’s BL card - the guy in the background. We don’t know if it’s Sin’s younger self or another character. Maybe that person is related to MC or Iwami. 
Some other fun facts about him are:
He likes crows, and crows like him. Supposedly, he can talk to crows.
He likes playing chess and reading.
He speaks in Singo but can also speak “normally”. Someone asked him if he talks in riddles on purpose, so that others don’t understand him. He was taken aback by that question but didn’t really answer.
Sin is the oldest cast member (from all the teams), and the third oldest out of everyone in the game. 
He’s also the tallest.
Sin is in a gray shade right now. In BL, he tried to trigger MC’s memories, then in one of the other seasons, he hid MC in a cardboard box and asks her to listen to his convo with Kei. Then, he “joins” Kei’s side, and then Donuts forgot about that whole plotline. So, we don’t know if he’s straight up sketchy, or he’s just playing both sides to see which side he likes. Maybe he was sketch at the beginning but developed a soft spot for MC.  
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Ask: I want to know your honest opinion about Takami. He's really unsettling in my opinion especially when Taiga snoops around. Thank you for seeing my question :D
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I find him really REALLY suspicious, and though I don't find him scary as a character, the fact that he can manipulate, is skilled at playing games, knows how to get info out of people, can get (almost) anyone's background info, and keeps an eye on everything/everyone is unsettling. Also, let's not forget that the man pretty much knows where all the cameras in the city are and has a route he takes to avoid all of them. What could he possibly be doing? He is a very dangerous character, and if I had to list which characters I thought were dangerous in Starless, Takami would be in the top 5 (probably the top 3).
Sadly, we don't know his main reason for being in Starless, but we do know his father worked with the Mikis, but again, this could be a lie. In case Taka's father worked with the Mikis, I'm sure it was not "normal" work.
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allisonlol · 3 years ago
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Hello! I love your Tokyo rev crush hcs! May I get what it’s like if baji has a crush?
a/n: thanks so much anon!! of course u may <3 i also added chifuyu & kazutora if that's alright :D
part one
(Baji, Chifuyu, Kazutora) When They Have a Crush
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Baji
it would be really hard to tell that he likes you tbh
literally treats you like everyone else??
you'd have to pay super close attention to pick up on some clues that he does
shows his affection by teasing / bullying you
literally tries to trip you while ur walking and then laughs at you =_=
dw he is being lighthearted <3 and always catches u if you actually fall
is a simp on the down low...this becomes more obvious over time
SHARES HIS PEYANG YAKISOBA WITH YOU
^that's how you KNOW he's down bad
after school/work, he'll always offer if you want to go out to get some with him
carries your bag & heavy textbooks for you 😌
hell, he'll carry YOU as well if you just ask him too
baji will frequently invite you over to his house for lil study sessions
and by study sessions, i basically mean you tutoring him because he needs all the help he can get 😕
you don't mind because being there also means you get to see the little cat that randomly stop by his room?? PLS it's so entertaining
Chifuyu
SUCH A SWEETHEART
everyone and their moms can tell that he likes you
he just. gets so flustered when you're around???
baji teases him SO MUCH for it
is outright a simp - doesn't even try to hide it
waits for you at the end of your street so he can walk you to school or work
if you work a retail job he'll come visit you during your working hours to "buy stuff" but in reality he just wants to talk to you
HOLDS YOUR HAND
^mans doesn't even wait until y'all are dating to hold hands, he just GOES FOR IT whenever ur walking next to him
(only if u are comfortable of course <3)
another one who shares his peyang yakisoba, or ANY food he's eating, with you
literally slides you half of his plate at every restaurant, even if it's his favorite 😭
if you complain about having too much homework, he'll do ALL of it for u (and gets straight As bc he's a lil genius...contrary to popular belief)
has a lot of little mannerisms that make it obvious he likes you
^fiddles with his fingers or runs his hands through his hair frequently when he's talking to you
IT'S CUTE
Kazutora
HE <3 I LOVE HIM <3 AAAAAAAAA
ok now that i've gotten that off my chest, let's move on
ANOTHER SWEETHEART. ABSOLUTE ANGEL
is either shy or overconfident around you, there's no in between
the smallest things make him all blushy too
your hand accidentally bumped his? oh look, he's flustered now
avoids eye contact with you bc it makes him too nervous, so a lot of the times when you talk to him he's looking over ur shoulder?? 🤨
9 times out of 10 if you turn around in the hallway he's somewhere behind you
not in a creepy way tho, he just tends to follow you around like a lost puppy 😭
all the other girls at your school are SO JEALOUS of you because he doesn't pay them any attention in favor of you
ANOTHER ONE WHO VISITS YOU AT UR WORKPLACE
^all ur coworkers are just like "damn who's this hottie that keeps coming to visit??" 😏
super overprotective; walks you to and from school/work and if ANYONE tries to approach you with ulterior motives he'll fight them
a bit unrelated, but he's really good at comforting people?? if you were ever upset in the slightest, he would hug you and offer reassurance or advice
^pays close attention to your moods so he can always tell when something is off <3 we love attentive men
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taglist: @sonder-paradise @yoonixmoon @ravenina14 @rayzldycck
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prolix-yuy · 1 year ago
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IT'S TIME CEE! I'VE BEEN SAVING THIS FOREVER AND I'M FINALLY HERE!
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Not three minutes in and do I Spy a little Tommy matchmaking attempt yet again? For shame! (never stop Tommy!)
slowly colouring in the Joel-shaped space in your head.
the sexiest coloring book ever!
Ahhh Cee I love Joel and Ellie interacting immediately, their relationship is such a strong part of the series and you captured it so well here!
The only unrealistic part of this setup is that no one has already leapt on Joel the moment he stopped snarling and frothing at the mouth. Ugh. Yes please!
You’re wearing the jeans he asked you to. Something primal swells in the cavity of his chest, between his ribs - a pride that is distinctly male.
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Yeahhhh Joel you let that lizard brain get moving
With a shrug, he jokes, ‘It’s ok, I’m a bit broken all over.’
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THE FLIRTING CEE AAAAAAAAA I'm already hot and bothered and we're barely started!
pointing straight at you with all the subtlety of a flying brick
hehehe Ellie is the perfect lil shit, I love her.
ROLLED UP SLEEVES ROLLED UP SLEEVES SOAPY WATER LETS GOOOOOO
NO NOT THE CAKE! My poor heart can't take both a Joel lecture and a cake mishap!
His lips twitch wryly. ‘What a waste of perfectly good cream cheese.’
LICK IT OFF HER YOU COWARD
JUST KIDDING HE ALREADY WANTS TO YEAHHHHHH BABY
‘You can have my shirt,’ he offers.
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He’s not sucking in his tummy.
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‘What’s that, sweetheart? This contractor look doin’ somethin’ for you?’
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(sorry Cee, I've lost all brain power beyond GIFs now)
Aww, Pin giving Ellie a chance to earn her jacket made me all warm and happy inside, I love their interactions already!
‘Wait - what’s that white stuff on your leg?’ ‘It’s cream cheese, you little shit!’ Joel snaps as your ears burn in embarrassment. ‘Out!’
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Ellie you little scamp!
For a man as hardened as Joel Miller, he sure kisses soft.
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‘Had some trouble with the cake,’ you answer vaguely. ‘Sure,’ she winks at you, unconvinced. ‘If we’re calling him that.’
I mean, I'd call Joel a piece of cake too, even though he's just got that lil pancake booty!
This was absolutely delightful Cee, I want to be there eating cake and getting my frosting licked (ew, that got weird). I am running to the next part because I need to know what comes next! Thank you for sharing them again, I adore you!
III ║ Edgestitch
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Joel Miller x F!Reader
{ Part II: Threads | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }
Rating: M
Summary: You wear those jeans for Joel when you see him again at the baby shower at Tommy and Maria's - like he asked you to.
Warnings: Spicy thoughts but not explicit, sexual tension, sexual innuendos, flirting, mention of food and drink, some language, shy!reader, reader has a nickname related to her job, soft!Joel, no use of Y/N
Word count: 7k
Notes: It's here! This one was a long and winding road as I mentioned in Behind the Seams, I'm so relieved and excited when it all finally clicked and fell into place! I'm absolutely blown away by the love you guys have shown Joel and Pin so far, thank you, there's no greater motivation for a writer ❤️ I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!
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‘Damnit, Lucy,’ you mutter under your breath, this close to stamping your foot and pouting at the door that refuses to lock up. 
Lucy may be your best friend, but you’re not blind to the fact that she literally cannot be trusted to get anything done around the shop. It’s been two weeks since she promised to get the locksmith to come in, but here you are on Friday evening, wrestling with the key that refuses to turn the last quarter of an inch in the faulty lock.
‘Hey, Pin!’
Glancing over your shoulder, you force a wane smile at Tommy, who has his hands full with a cardboard box at the bottom of the stairs. ‘Need some help?’
‘Yes, please,’ you reply sheepishly.
You nod at the bottles of wine that clink delicately against one another as he sets them down. ‘Getting ready for the party on Sunday?’
Tommy steps up to the door and wriggles the key left and right experimentally. ‘Yeah, you comin’, right?’
‘Yes, with Lucy.’
‘Good, the more the merrier!’ He makes a face at the door lock, which is not cooperating with him either. ‘You should get someone to look at it. Probably time for a new one.’
‘Lucy was supposed to get Andrew to fix it, but you know Luce.’
Tommy yanks the door knob backwards hard as he twists the key. There’s a grunt of metal, and a triumphant aha! when it finally turns, the internal mechanisms of the lock sliding into place with a satisfying click. 
You nearly fall onto your knees in relief. ‘Thank you so much, Tommy. You’re a lifesaver.’
He grins and deposits the key in your waiting palm. ‘You can ask Joel for help, you know. He’s handy with this kind of stuff.’
You blink, blindsided by the seemingly random mention of his brother - but his dimpled smile tells you otherwise.
His brother, who was so solid and broad under you on the studio floor, just a few days ago. His brother, who you can still feel pressed between your thighs, in your bed in the dead of night. His brother, who has taken up residence in your mind, waking or otherwise, since he sauntered out of your shop with that infuriatingly attractive confidence when he asked you to to wear those jeans for him again on Sunday.
Joel has existed solely and safely in the parameters of your workspace for the past fortnight and a half, with only Lucy bearing witness to whatever it is between the two of you. Having to suddenly deal with any mention of him outside of it, especially with that knowing arch of Tommy’s eyebrow, has you completely flustered. It doesn’t help that his eyes are uncannily like Joel’s, a gorgeous deep brown, expressive and sharp, though the mischief sits a lot closer to the surface in the former’s.
Mercifully, your brain unscrambles long enough for you to reach the conclusion that of course, Joel must have told Tommy that he invited you and Lucy. It’s their party, after all. Surely, he doesn’t know anything else -
Or does he?
You’ve been quiet for too long to say anything about it now, so you clumsily change the subject, stumbling over your words. ‘I, uh - I was just wondering what I could bring on Sunday?’
Tommy graciously lets you off the hook. ‘We’re a bit short on sweets, actually, if you bake.’
You latch on to that gratefully. ‘I do - what kind of cake were you thinking?’
‘Do you make a carrot cake?’
You perk up. ‘It’s my favourite!’
He flashes you a cheeky grin. ‘What a funny coincidence, it’s Joel’s as well - the only way to get carrots in him.’
Your pulse spikes with adrenaline at the unexpected tidbit Tommy drops in your lap, and you greedily squirrel that little fact away, slowly colouring in the Joel-shaped space in your head.
With a wink, Tommy bends down to pick up the wine. ‘See you in a couple of days, Pin!’
At least you have the decency to wait until he turns the corner - once he does, you sprint across the road to the Jackson Grocer’s and clear out their stock of carrots for the day.
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There are many things about Jackson that throw Joel. 
The plentitude after years of rations. The safety, which comes off more jarring than comforting.
But most of all, it’s the sounds. The kettle on the boil and the pop of the toaster in the morning when Ellie gets ready for school. Friendly chatter on the high street. Laughter. It still makes him jump when he hears playful shrieks in the neighbourhood playground, blood rushing in his ears and sending him halfway across the house for his rifle before he remembers where he is.
Where he is not.
It was always loud in the QZ. Loudspeakers blaring, alarms wailing, the indistinct hum of conversation and radio through paper thin walls in the slums at all hours of the day. And he was always listening - for danger, for trouble, and everything in between.
And then all that noise had blown up, literally, with the State House. With Tess.
Joel finds it hard to remember those first few days after leaving Boston behind. Mostly the raw cuts on his knuckles that wouldn’t heal and the ring in his right ear from the explosion, lingering like a pesky fly. 
But he knows it was Ellie who broke that silence first. And once that door was kicked down - 
‘Fuck no, dude!’
His face snaps up and he scowls across the lawn, the stern reprimand rolling off his tongue like second nature. ‘Ellie!’
She’s sitting with her friends, crowded around her most prized possession of the moment, a boombox she found in the thrift shop a couple of months ago and begged him to buy and fix up for her. 
Not that she needed to do much begging, he caved far too easily. It plays a bit wonky - the bass too heavy - still, it does the trick.
The teenagers around her cower immediately, but she defiantly stands her ground. ‘What?’
‘Watch your language,’ he barks, no real bite behind it.
She rolls her eyes so hard her head falls back, and he has to press his lips together to not smile.
It helps him sleep better at night seeing Ellie fit right in - at least one of them has. She doesn’t hate going to school half as much as she pretends to, the routine of homework and chores anchoring her to small town life. She’s even volunteered to help out at the farm, spending most afternoons in the stables with the horses.
There are times when he wonders to which extent all this is a coping mechanism. But well, at least she’s coping.
And while Joel still hasn’t made up his mind about Jackson, its townsfolk seem to have unilaterally made theirs up about him. The wary whispers and watchful stares have given way to cautious gestures of acknowledgement, some even bold enough to throw a good morning in his general direction as he walks down the street. 
They nod at him now as they file into the garden party, still keeping their distance, but not as much as he would’ve liked.
The expectant parents have gone all out for the occasion. Several tables are lined up end to end in the middle of the garden, filling up with potluck dishes as guests arrive. Tommy lords over the barbeque, the brisket having been smoking since dawn, with chicken, bacon and homemade sausages sizzling on the grill. Maria is in her element, flitting from well wisher to well wisher with a protective hand over her rounded belly, making sure everyone has a drink and a loaded plate in hand.
Joel hovers in no man’s land, dodging the crowds and sipping on beer that has long gone flat, trying to remember the last time he celebrated anything. 
Well, he supposes dinner parties at Bill and Frank’s count, as far and few in between as they were. Not that they ever celebrated anything specific, per se - they didn’t need a reason beyond the fact that they were all still alive and kicking. Bill, bless his soul, did make a mean roast, and Frank used to host with enough flair for forty instead of four. Tess had a black dress she stowed away at the back of her closet for these parties, and a red one that she saved for the really special occasions -
A strong hand on his back jolts him forward and out of his thoughts, spilling lukewarm beer over his fingers.
‘Havin’ a good time, brother?’ asks Tommy jovially, cheeks stretched with joy.
‘I was just now,’ he grunts pointedly.
Tommy grins. ‘Lighten up, man. Get drunk, be merry! You’re gonna be an uncle.’
‘Don’t try to butter me up. I ain’t babysittin’ for you.’
Thumping his chest in mock hurt, he asks, ‘What about all those times I babysat Sarah, man?’
Joel gives him a long-suffering side stare. ‘Please. You used to hire that college chick ‘cross the street to babysit whenever you were supposed to. Then you’d hit on her all night long.’
Tommy chuckles. ‘Damn, your mind’s in better shape than I give you credit for, old man.’
He can’t help a smile. ‘But for all your devious plans to get into her babysitter’s pants, Sarah did love her Uncle Tommy.’
He goes quiet for a beat and takes a sip of his beer, his eyes softening. ‘I think about that girl every single day, y’know.’ 
Joel nods, staring into his own beer, and it suddenly strikes him that he’s missed the shape of her name on his lips. ‘I know.’
Tommy nudges him on the shoulder. ‘I can only hope my kid will love their Uncle Joel just as much.’
Eventually, he harrumphs, ‘If they do - I’ll think about the babysittin’.’
Tommy chortles just as the backdoor to the porch swings open with a loud creak.
Joel spots you easily, trailing one step behind Lucy. You’re holding onto a cake on a round wooden board like a security blanket, shoulders tense and eyes wide at the noise of the festivities. Spotting Maria, Lucy bounds down the stairs, leaving you hesitating at the landing, and -
You’re wearing the jeans he asked you to.
Something primal swells in the cavity of his chest, between his ribs - a pride that is distinctly male.
Tommy shouts, ‘Pin! Over here!’
Joel shifts on his feet, swallowing thickly as you approach. If your shy smile is anything to go by, he’s not the only one feeling the nerves.
His brother gives you a careful hug around the cake and plants a kiss on your cheek. When he steps aside, Joel hesitates, uneasy with having an audience, his palms suddenly clammy with indecision.
Does he… hug you? He can count on three fingers who he’s hugged for the past twenty years, and he’s sorely out of practice. A kiss is an option, but the way his eyes dart to your mouth, it’s dangerous even entertaining that thought - 
Tommy elbows him in the ribs and puts him out of his misery. ‘Why don’t you kids catch up, I think the brisket’s burnin’. Have fun tonight!’
Joel can feel the tip of his ears turning red as he stands there with his drink, one hand shoved in his back pocket, not knowing how to do this. How to entertain. Clearing his throat, he stammers, ‘Uh - can I get you a drink or somethin’?’
You give him a small smile, lips moving in an answer too quiet to reach him over the music. Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, he admits, ‘Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m uh - a bit deaf in my right ear.’
You look apologetic, speaking up, ‘I’m sorry - I didn’t know.’
With a shrug, he jokes, ‘It’s ok, I’m a bit broken all over.’
You pinch your lips, and he recoginses that face - he knows that you want to disagree with him. But you hold your tongue, skirting around him to his good ear, and he stoops to close the distance, even though he doesn’t need to.
Your breath brushes his ear. ‘I’d love a drink, but I want to put this cake away first.’
‘Yes, of course - sorry, don’t know where my manners went.’ He puts his unfinished beer away and takes the cake from you despite your protests. The potluck table is packed to the brim, so he gestures towards the house. ‘It might have to go into the kitchen for now.’
You follow him, side by side with one polite body width between you, past bands of neighbours and friends catching up, the fairy lights catching your eyes and the well-kept lawn crunching beneath your soles. Unsurprisingly, you feel the weight of curious stares on your back as you go - Joel is still very much a novelty around town. Neither of you speak until he holds open the backdoor for you to slip inside.
It’s quiet in the kitchen, the muted conversation outside a low hum through the double-glazed windows. The free-standing island is already chock full of all kinds of baked goods and pudding, and Joel has to move an actual jelly castle (which wriggles precariously) to free up space for your contribution.
Dusting his hands, Joel turns to you. ‘That carrot cake?’
You nod, keeping mum.
‘It’s my favourite.’
‘I know - Tommy told me,’ you confess with a bashful half-shrug.
His warm eyes crinkle at the corners. ‘Talkin’ about me behind my back, sweetheart?’
Your breath quickens at the sweetheart, and you wonder if the thrill of the nickname will ever wear thin. Emboldened, you tilt your head to one side and tease, ‘Why? You like the attention?’
A smirk on his lips, he steps into your space, the very proximity of him stealing the air from your lungs. ‘I might if you’re not careful.’
And there you are again - with nothing more than a dozen words exchanged and even more unsaid - on the brink of something, right where you left off on the workshop floor.
‘Wanna grab a bite to eat?’
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Tucked away in an intimate corner of the back porch in a wicker chair, Joel surveys the party with a seriousness that is borderline comical. 
The strategist in him clearly favours the higher ground the porch affords him so he can keep an eye on everyone and spot whoever approaches from a distance. His seat is an easy three steps to the door, an escape plan in his back pocket. For all his stillness, the intensity is unmistakable, if slightly out of place in a baby shower.
Two dirty plates licked clean are stacked on the coffee table between you, piled high with bones and leftover gravy, the delicious food sitting warm in your stomach.
‘They’re comin’ closer,’ Joel complains, taking a long gulp of his beer.
‘I guess they figure if I’m talking to you, it means that you don’t actually bite,’ you quip.
‘Will they back off if I make you cry?’
Your shoulders quake with a chuckle. ‘I think you’re too much of a gentleman to do that, Joel Miller.’
You’re taken aback by the flash of heat in his answering glance, as if there’s something he wants to say. But then, he changes his mind and leans back in his chair, one palm resting on his spread thighs, and he nods towards a couple standing close to the barbeque.
‘Who’s that over there? He lives on my street.’
‘That’s Andrew. He owns the only hot tub in Jackson.’
Joel splutters, ‘A hot tub?’
‘To be fair, it came with his house, but he managed to connect it to the water a few months ago.’
He snorts. ‘Not very communist of him to divert public resources for a private hot tub.’
‘Let’s just say Jackson is a commune with American characteristics,’ you say diplomatically.
He arches an eyebrow at you. ‘A cynic, sweetheart?’
You reply matter-of-factly, ‘We all know how communism ended.’
Fuck. He takes a swig of his beer and swallows hard. A woman after his own heart.
‘You want to keep him on your good side though. He’s really handy with electrics and the like.’
He shrugs. ‘So am I.’
You turn to him, surprised. ‘Oh?’
‘I was a contractor in another life.’
He notices your attention flicker to his hands, before you catch yourself and look away bashfully. ‘That’s good to know.’
‘You need things fixed?’ he asks, and promptly wants to kick himself for sounding so hopeful to be of service.
‘Here and there,’ you say with a dismissive wave. ‘It’s not important. It’ll hold up.’
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip thoughtfully. You have to work on asking for things, but it’s ok - he doesn’t push you. He files that away for later.
Glancing across the yard, he catches Ellie’s eye, who’s arching an inquisitive eyebrow and pointing straight at you with all the subtlety of a flying brick. He knows he should probably introduce you at some point, but he’s not ready to share your attention with someone else just yet, let alone the nosy teenage loudmouth.
Joel gives her a firm shake of the head, to which she responds with a disgruntled I’m watching you gesture.
Ignoring her for now - and knowing that he’ll pay for it later - he asks you, ‘And who’s that in the red dress?’
You crane your neck until you spot her. ‘Ah, that’s Patricia. She’s the dance teacher down at the school.’
‘Why’s she starin’ at me?’ he mutters.
You shoot him an amused grin. ‘Why, it looks like you’ve caught the fancy of our local femme fatale.’
He scoffs. ‘Should I be worried?’
‘Well, she’s been married and divorced three times since she arrived,’ you answer with a straight face. ‘The last one just disappeared. Never found his body.’
Joel stares at you in stunned silence, until you let out a poorly contained giggle. He grumbles, ‘Havin’ fun pullin’ my leg, sweetheart?’
‘Just a bit,’ you tease.
‘I liked you better when you were shy,’ he ribs.
You shrug. ‘Too late. You don’t scare me anymore.’
Glancing the other way, Joel sits up in alarm at the flutter of crimson fabric. ‘Shit, I think she’s comin’ this way.’
‘Time for carrot cake?’ you prompt.
He’s out of his chair quicker than you’d expect his knees would allow him to. ‘Let’s go, sweetheart.’
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The state of the kitchen island stops you in your tracks, while Joel lets out a low whistle behind you. ‘Jackson really turned out for this party, huh?’
‘Well, your brother and sister-in-law are pretty popular around town,’ you quip.
You didn’t think it was possible, but every square inch of the kitchen island is now jam-packed with sugary confections, stacked on top of one another.
‘I can’t even find the bloody cake,’ you laugh, literally searching high and low as you skirt the parameter.
On the other side of the island, Joel tosses a dry good luck in your direction and puts the dirty plates and cutlery that he brought in into the sink with a clatter, turning on the hot water. You stutter to a stop opposite him, gawking at how his broad shoulders fill the frame of the window that sits in front of the sink, before your gaze inadvertently trails south - over the nip of his waist and the hem of his shirt skirting the back pockets of his jeans. You find yourself wishing he’d tucked the tails in.
Rooted to the spot, you watch him unbutton the cuffs on his flannel shirt and push up the sleeves to the crease of his elbows, baring his strong forearms. Your mouth goes dry despite the wine you’ve been sipping on all evening, peering at the sinewy muscles flexing and straining as he lathers the plates with an offhand familiarity, his thick fingers dwarfing the sponge in as he works the grease stains. 
Making quick but thorough work of the washing up, Joel dries the plates and then runs the tea towel over his big hands and wrists, catching you staring as he turns around. If he knows you’ve been watching all along, he lets it slide. Tossing the towel to one side, heat prickles under your cheeks when he sidles up to you with the clean plates.
The sight of this man doing something as mundane as dishes really shouldn’t get you this hot and bothered.
‘Is that cream cheese?’ he asks conversationally with a nod at your cake, which you have found sitting on top of a tall plastic caddy, a chocolate cake inside.
Having to consciously unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, you’re surprised your voice doesn’t shake. ‘It’s not carrot cake without it.’
‘Where did you get the cream cheese? Never seen any ‘round town.’
Almost bashful, you admit, ‘I made it.’
His eyebrows shoot up. ‘You made cream cheese? How?’
‘It’s not that big a deal. It’s just milk, lemon and salt,’ you say, trying to downplay it. Your arms are definitely not aching from the hours of straining and beating and whipping.
‘And the walnuts?’ he asks.
‘Someone I know grows it,’ you say vaguely.
Joel hums doubtfully. ‘Ain’t seen any walnut trees in town.’
Biting your bottom lip, you can pinpoint the exact moment he figures it out, brows drawing together in a frown. ‘The only ones I’ve seen are outside the walls, ‘round the north side of the gates.’
Knowing for a fact that you’re a terrible liar, you don’t even try. You choose to ignore him, idly smoothing the frosting on top with a clean knife, trying not to flinch at the weight of his gaze on you.
‘Sweetheart, please tell me you didn’t go outside just to get walnuts for me.’
‘Not for you,’ you shoot back unconvincingly, flustered. ‘I made the cake for Tommy and Maria.’
Lies. You know it. He knows it.
His shoulders stiffen, the fabric of his shirt bunching with the movement. ‘You can’t just go outside like that, y’know, there could be infected ‘round -’
‘Joel, I’ve been living here for years, I know what I’m doing,’ you argue huffily, not expecting a lecture, of all things. ‘I’m not stupid.’
He shakes his head. ‘Ain’t what I’m sayin’, Pin -’
‘Just leave it, ok?’ you reply sharply and, signalling an end to the conversation, you slice into the cake with an aggressive stab - not noticing that it is hanging over the edge of the caddy below. 
You squeak when it flips unceremoniously, and on pure impulse, you pitch forward to stop its upward trajectory, meeting it mid-air with an ominous splat.
‘Fuck!’
To his credit, Joel barely skips a beat, quickly but calmly grabbing hold of the cake board and pulling it off you, setting it down on the counter, while you gape in dismay at the damage done. 
The side of the cake that made contact with you is smushed in, most of the thick frosting now painted all over your front, from your neck down to the lovely, thin cashmere top that Lucy picked out for you for the party.
You really hope there’s a big guy up there watching, because someone might as well enjoy this mortifying brand of comedy you keep dishing out around this man.
Two seconds more, and you’re pretty sure you would’ve burst into tears for lack of knowing what else to do - but without another word, Joel takes the lead, wrapping a firm hand around your wrist and pulling you out of the kitchen. 
You gratefully let him.
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It’s none of your business really, but it comforts you that Joel’s obviously here often enough to know his way around the house.
You glance around the dimly lit room where he deposited you on the edge of a neatly made bed, water trickling in the adjoining ensuite. When he returns, he has a small, wet towel in his hands. Towering over you, the low lights don’t quite reach his face, but you can see the way his gaze slips downwards, carefully, as if he’s afraid to startle you.
But he doesn’t - not even when he slides the crook of his fingers under your chin, tilting your face up and opening up your throat.
His lips twitch wryly. ‘What a waste of perfectly good cream cheese.’
Despite yourself, a laugh escapes you at the absurdity of the situation. ‘Must something always go wrong whenever we’re in the same room?’
The corner of his mouth teases a smile. ‘Never a dull moment with you, sweetheart.’
You smile back, but it falters when his eyes burn in a quiet but unmistakable smoulder. 
‘May I?’
You’re not even sure what he’s asking. But he can ask you anything in that raspy, low baritone, and there will always only be one answer.
At your nod, Joel drags the tip of his index finger down the column of your neck, and your lips part when it glides over your windpipe - pressing just hard enough for you to feel the pressure - collecting the velvety frosting as it goes. 
Then, holding your eyes, he sucks the cream cheese off his fingertip, a hum deep in his throat. ‘Delicious, sweetheart.’
You’re sitting down, but somehow, you still feel your knees give way at how he smacks his lips at the sugary aftertaste.
He looms closer, bending at the waist and for one moment of madness, you think he might lean down and lick your neck clean. 
At the prospect of those plush lips and the burn of his silvered, patchy beard on your skin, your head tilts further back invitingly. His pupils dilate and his nostrils flare, like he’s picking up on what you’re thinking, and his eyes dip to your mouth.
But he doesn’t.
You don’t even have time to be disappointed before Joel carefully gets down on one knee in front of you, one palm landing on the mattress next to your hip for balance. Knowing the state of his joints, you want to ask if he needs a pillow, but instead of your mouth, it’s your thighs that part to make room for him. His chest keeps them splayed open, and you can feel the steady rise and fall of his ribcage with each breath through the denim. 
You try to focus on your own breathing as Joel presses the wet towel to your skin and mops up the sticky mess, his face set seriously as he cleans you up inch by inch. But all you can think about is how you can feel the imprint of his fingers through the thin fabric, and how the span of his hand can easily fit over the column of your throat -
You don’t realise you’re leaning into him until he draws back when he’s done, and you tip forward, chasing his touch. His knee groans as he stands up to his full height, and he nods towards the bathroom with a wait here in his eyes.
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The water is scalding as Joel washes out the frosting from the towel, but he keeps his hands under the tap, longer than he needs to. Wringing it dry, he takes a moment, wet palms gripping the cold porcelain edge of the bathroom sink, shoulders hunched over as he tells himself to calm the fuck down.
Except, he is calm. He’s held back, even when you looked at him with such straightforward, honest want that has him grinding his teeth.
Thing is, he knows you would’ve let him nudge you backwards into the mattress and crowd you between his arms, switching places the two of you were in under your sewing desk in the workshop.
He knows you would’ve let him wrap your legs around his hips, sliding his palms up the back of your thighs in those skin tight jeans - the sight of which is enough to make his head spin - and he knows you would’ve let him nip, suck, lick the tangy buttercream off your very neck. 
Not only would you have let him - you would’ve trusted him to do all those things to you.
That last realisation awakens something he’s not so sure he has a handle on. But he knows for a fact that with the whole of Jackson milling about downstairs, in the middle of his brother’s baby shower, is neither the place nor the time.
You’re where he left you when he steps back into the bedroom, your palms planted on the bed, your shoulders relaxed. The neckline of your blouse gapes loosely, teasing the soft skin of your cleavage.
Joel breaks the loaded silence with a bit of common sense. ‘You best get that top off and soak it in the bath before the stains really set in, sweetheart.’
You bite your lip hesitantly. ‘I - I don’t have anything to change into.’
‘You can have my shirt,’ he offers.
You sit up, attention piqued, when his hands move to the top of his flannel, thick fingers sliding each button out of the holes one by one. You know he’s just taking off his shirt, but you can’t help the way your jaw goes slack, watching shamelessly, the comforter twisting in your grip as you scrabble for something to hold onto. 
Joel doesn’t understand why you’re looking at him like that, but it’s so flattering to watch you watch him, eyes hooded and your tongue darting out to wet your bottom lip, like he’s giving you a fucking strip tease or something. 
Goddamn if it doesn’t go straight to his head.
A white undervest comes into view, inch by inch, as the shirt falls open, the thin fabric pulled taut at the seams over the broad stretch of his chest. When the last button is undone, he shrugs the shirt off with a smooth roll of his arms, and your jaw drops.
The undervest barely contains the bulk of him, and you’ll be damned if you know where to look first - the lean, solid line of his arms, or the effortless ripple of muscle in his shoulders - but it’s lower where your attention makes landing, and it takes you a second to realise why.
He’s not sucking in his tummy.
The swell of his abdomen sits above the top of his jeans, where the vest is neatly tucked in. You remember too well the brush of that soft strip of skin against the back of your hands when you were on your knees, cutting him out of his jeans; and then beneath you, straddling him under the sewing table. 
While there’s an undercurrent of self-consciousness in the way he holds himself, conspicuously missing is the self-deprecation that drew your ire the day he walked into your shop with a broken zipper. A tentative confidence has taken its place, which is at the same time so endearingly vulnerable, as if your reaction to the little show he gave you just now isn’t enough to assure him of what you’re thinking.
Your fingers twitch, yearning to reach out and tug him in by the front of his jeans, to untuck that vest and push it up and off. You want to snake your hands around his waist, hold him to you by the small of his back, and starting with his tummy, kiss your way across the soft belly - maybe with a cheeky scrape of teeth - up to his firm chest, his strong neck and to his lips. 
Or maybe, the calling southwards will win out. You’ll push him back to make room for yourself at his feet, nudging your way down his front with your nose, breathe him in, your hands finding his belt buckle and tugging it out of the loops instead. Never mind you've lost count of how many years it's been since you've wanted to do that, or if you remember how at all -
‘Pin.’
Your whole body jolts backwards when his voice pierces through your addled haze, low and raspy, snapping out of your sordid stupor almost grumpily - how rude of him to interrupt? - only to find him peering down at you with a lopsided smile. 
‘Get changed, sweetheart. I’ll be right back.’
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Leaving your top to soak in the sink, you pad back into the bedroom in just your bra, and you stare down at his shirt laid out neatly on top of the bed.
You press your palm over where his heart would be, the flannel still warm. For one indulgent moment, you pick up the shirt and hug it to you. It smells like him - the outdoors, a crisp spring day, with a whiff of the barbeque smoke from downstairs. You bury your nose into the soft fabric, eyes closed, imagining the weight and shape of him in it. 
Even as you put your arms through the sleeves to button it up, you already know it will be hard giving it back. You leave the last three buttons undone and you’ve just tied up the too-long ends in a double knot when there’s a polite but firm knock on the door. 
‘You decent?’
‘Yes.’
You hope your face doesn’t fall too obviously at the sight of Joel wearing a shirt again, probably one borrowed from Tommy. He leaves it unbuttoned though, which is small consolation. The air hums between you with stolen glances and words unsaid.
‘You wore those jeans for me,’ he says suddenly.
The for me rolls off his tongue coated in his delectable Southern drawl and a heady satisfaction.
You decide to be brave and shrug one shoulder in a show of attitude. ‘It was the only thing I didn’t have in the wash.’
His grin makes your heart swell. Stepping out of the open doorway, his eyes trailing heat where they linger over you, he says, ‘You look good in my shirt, sweetheart. Real good.’
You bite your lower lip at the compliment, replying shyly, ‘I like this look on you too.’
‘Used to be Tommy’s uniform during our contractor days,’ he reminiscences. ‘I’m just missing the utility belt.’
Oh. You actually find it offensive that the fleeting mention of something as banal as a utility belt should get you going like this. You try to palm off a non-committal hum, but your body betrays you with a strangled choking sound that gives you away.
Joel arches an eyebrow and closes the gap between you with three long, deliberate steps, one finger skimming where his shirt meets the waistband of your jeans. He teases with a smirk, ‘What’s that, sweetheart? This contractor look doin’ somethin’ for you?’
Your cheeks grow hot as both his palms latch boldly onto your hips, and you swear you can feel the burn of his fingertips through the denim, a moan gargling in your throat as your ability to form words abandons you.
‘That a yes?’ he prompts, hooking his thumbs through the belt loops in your jeans and tugging your body flush against his, his stubbled chin brushing the sensitive crook of your neck as he speaks into your ear.
‘Joel,’ you whine, which is the best you can do right now, grabbing onto the open flaps of his shirt just to stay upright.
You feel the rumble that goes through his chest under your palms when he purrs, smiling down at you, head cocked to one side with a playful condescension that’s going to be the end of you. ‘Yes, Pin?’
Your mouth opens, but you’ll never get to find out what you intended to say, because you hear it first - his right ear is to the door - the thunder of rubber soles on the stairs, and you're lucky you manage to stumble two steps back before a deafening (no pun intended), drawn-out call of his name follows.
‘JOOOOOOELLLL!’
Ellie crashes into the doorway with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, slightly out of breath like she’s been running all over the place searching for him, already in the middle of a sentence, as usual. 
‘- also Maria says they’re doing a speech now and you’re not getting out of -’ she breaks off abruptly when she spots you, eyes wide and brows - all one and a half of them - reaching for her hairline. ‘Oh shiiiiiit.’
Running a tired hand down his face, Joel’s sigh sounds a lot like surrender. ‘Ellie, this is Pin. Pin, I’m sorry.’
You bite your lip to hold back a laugh at the resignation in his tone as the teenager wrinkles her nose. ‘Pin? That’s a weird name.’
‘Ellie!’
You smile. ‘It’s ok. Pin's just my nickname. I’m a seamstress at the Main Street Outfitters.’
Her face lights up excitedly, an open book if you’ve ever seen one. ‘No shit! I’ve been bugging Joel for a leather jacket for ages. Can I get one?’
‘Please,’ he interjects.
Ellie tucks in her chin and juts out her bottom lip at you. ‘Please?’
You demur. ‘Well, it depends on what you can trade in for it.’
‘My boombox!’ she volunteers without skipping a beat. 
Joel scoffs. ‘Good to know those three weeks fixing that piece of junk for you was time well spent.'
‘Sorry, man, but I can’t wear a boombox can I?’ she argues.
Giving Joel an amused look, you come to his rescue. ‘I’m sorry, Ellie, but we only take clothes in exchange.’ At the way she deflates, you counteroffer, ‘Or, you can come work at the shop on Saturdays for the next couple of months. Lucy always needs help out front, and you get a staff discount.’
He turns to you, protesting, ‘That’s very kind, but it ain’t necessary -’
Ellie cuts in, rushing up to you to shake your hand before you can take it back. ‘Deal! When can I start?’
‘There’s no rush,’ you reply with a chuckle. ‘I’ll get back to you next week.’
Stepping back, Ellie winks, ‘So - let’s put a pin in it for now?’
Joel groans at the terrible pun. ‘Get outta here!’
She cackles, firing triumphant finger guns at you as she retreats. ‘What? Pin liked it, she laughed! You’re no fun old man!’ 
She then pauses by the door, her eyes narrowing as she zeroes in on something smeared on your jeans. ‘Wait - what’s that white stuff on your leg?’
‘It’s cream cheese, you little shit!’ Joel snaps as your ears burn in embarrassment. ‘Out!’
She scampers out of sight, but then reverses into view, sneakers squeaking. ‘ - Are you wearing Joel’s shirt?’
‘ELLIE!’
She throws her hands up. ‘Alright, I’m gone, I’m gone! See ya Pin!’
Joel is the very picture of an embarrassed dad, rubbing the back of his neck with a wince. ‘Sorry, she’s a handful.’
You grin, ‘She’s just a teenager.’
‘You can say that again.’
The quiet seems louder after Ellie, and you restlessly pick at the sleeves. Lifting your eyes shyly, it seems the moment has passed - but Joel has other ideas.
‘C’mere,’ he hums, drawing you close again with one hand on your waist, peering down at you through his lashes. ‘This ok?’
At your nod, he brushes his thumb on your bottom lip, catching the soft plump skin, and your tongue darts out to taste him, his eyes darkening.
‘Can I kiss you, sweetheart?’ he asks, voice hoarse.
It’s been years. Years since anyone has cared enough to kiss you, let alone cared enough to ask if they could. And it’s as if he knows - you don’t know if you’ve somehow given it away, or maybe it’s just him. 
‘Yes, Joel.’
He coaxes you closer so that you’re pressed along the whole length of him. His big palms are warm and solid on the small of your back, holding you to him like he intends for you to have trouble standing after he’s done with you. 
The tip of his nose bumps into your cheek, nudging its way across and down, and your eyes slide shut when his shaky exhale grazes your gently parted mouth. Your breath hitches at the sweet burn of his beard on your jaw, fingers grabbing onto the scruff of his neck when he finally, finally brushes his lips against yours.
For a man as hardened as Joel Miller, he sure kisses soft. He steals a whimper straight from your throat with nothing more than the clever angling of his lips, the slow drag of tongue on tongue, and a growl deep in his windpipe that you answer with your own moan.
You don’t even have the presence of mind to be embarrassed when your shins knock into his, breaking the kiss with a laugh as Joel hauls you up into his chest, looking very much pleased that he’s literally made your knees buckle.
‘Sorry,’ you squeak, beaming despite yourself.
‘You really know how to flatter a guy, sweetheart,’ he answers, his voice warming you like a smokey campfire, steadying by his hands on your hips.
‘We should probably go before Ellie comes back for us,’ you say reluctantly.
Joel huffs, ‘Ain’t gonna hear the end of it if she does.’
‘Something tells me you won’t be hearing the end of it tonight anyway,’ you tease.
He chucks you gently under the chin, his eyes soft. ‘Let’s go, sweetheart.’
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‘You’ve made yourself scarce,’ remarks Lucy as she ambles up to you with a glass of wine running low. ‘Where you been, hon?’
‘Had some trouble with the cake,’ you answer vaguely.
‘Sure,’ she winks at you, unconvinced. ‘If we’re calling him that.’
Right on cue, Joel strides across the lawn with three plates to join you. ‘Thought you might want some of Pin’s carrot cake.’
‘Such a gentleman, Joel Miller,’ chirps Lucy, making what can only be described as a 'thirst face' at you when his back is turned to her.
‘Thanks, Joel,’ you smile at him, letting your fingers graze his deliberately when you take the plate from him.
Saluting you with a forkful of cake, he says, ‘Thank you for bakin’, sweetheart.’
You watch as his lips close around the fork, dragging the cake clean off the slots, cream cheese smearing the corner of his mouth. He frowns, as if in deep pain as he chews, Adam’s apple bobbing when he swallows.
‘Okay?’ you ask nervously, your slice still untouched.
‘Perfect,’ he declares, already having a second, bigger bite. Knowing he doesn’t have a superfluous bone in his body, your chest warms at his words.
‘Wait a second,’ Lucy interrupts, bringing up her plate to inspect it closely. ‘Why does the cake look all wonky?’
‘Don’t know what you’re talking about, Luce,’ you answer coolly, taking a bite yourself.
Humming around a mouthful of moist crumb, the sweet carrot balanced out by the tangy frosting, you meet Joel’s eyes in the soft glow of fairy lights, and he flashes you a conspiratorial smile that makes you grin.
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More notes: On Ellie - I was so so nervous about writing our resident teenage badass. I hope I've done her justice, I certainly had a lot of fun writing her introduction to Pin! If you're interested in a detailed deep dive into my process writing this chapter, I do recommend you read the Behind the Seams for this part ❤️
I also went back and forth on the tone and style of this chapter a lot. I wasn’t happy with the way it read, probably still not 100% happy. I like the way Seams and Threads were written better, but the fact is that this chapter is a very different setting and narrative compared to the first two, so I’m trying to be too hard on myself.
So, I have some ideas for where the story will go from here, but nothing concrete. As I've mentioned, I see this fic as more of a loose-fit series, so there's no overarching plot per se, but there's definitely a lot of room for future episodes of these two - I mean, they haven't even done the deed yet 😉
Comments, asks and reblogs are greatly appreciated as always! Thank you so much for reading, I'm so excited to hear what you guys thought of this chapter 😘
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angelic-jeonghan1004 · 4 years ago
Text
Enhypen reacting to you cheating in a game to win
More enha timeeee I've got more stuff in the works for them so soon I'll make a masterlist! Doing a mixture of both video games and arcade games in this. If it's not obvious to tell from my past fics I love me some video games I'm now super into Genshin atm!! Heeseung is absurdly long btw sorry about that he's the only one I actually had an idea for from a random tropes list on Wattpad the rest I wrote the prompt games and ideas for sitting through a school lecture
Pairing: Enhypen x reader
Genre: fluff, crack
Warning: swearing!
Gif credits to rightful owner ✨
Heeseung
Thinking of a way to spend time with your boyfriend and have a fun date
You went to play laser tag, there's no physical harm in laser tag
Problem here is you're both competitive
And deciding against being on the same team
Decided to go being on opposite team
Whoever lost has to buy lunch
So going into the game in the black out neon room full of obstacles you both had one thing on your mind
"I'm going to win" was the one thought racing through both of your heads (spoiler alert you won in the end)
Protecting your chestplate for your life in fear of someone shooting you
The game got very heated but you thought strategically
You didn't try to find him (that was his goal to find you, but by his height yells or cheers of success eliminating a player you knew where he was 99% of the time) you actually avoided him
You went to get out all of his teammates
It wasn't hard you where in it to win it
You realized there's no way it's not just you and Heeseung now
An idea came to mind
Yelling to him you said
"Heeseung I have an idea to make this fun for us , meet me at the middle since I don't want to yell"
You both made your way to the middle very cautious of eachother but he was very curious of the challenge
Quickly you explained that you two should go on opposite ends of the laser tag maze but each step you take you have to do one shot no matter what
Due to your limited amo this intrigued Heeseung
How he could strategically move his lanky body around the maze without loosing tok much amo
He agreed
And you leaned in for a kiss before "putting the plan to action"
He quickly accepted the kiss closing his eyes taking in the moment before having to head to the opposite corner
That was until he heard the "Defeated" noise come from his chest plate as you shot him in the chest neon red lights covering the what used to be blue chestplate
You giggled as you broke the kiss
"UNFAIR" Heeseung yelled
"We can talk about it over lunch" you said putting your hand in his
You explained your true strategy to him at lunch and how you made that plan up just so he wouldn't kill you on spot
He peas so pouty
Just ate his food and sulked
"You owe me a fist game and next time let's try that challenge I was excited baby"
He'd say with just 🥺 eyes
Pls win this boy some sort of gift he deserves a pick me up
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Jay
You guys where having a great time having an in home date
Then you disrespected man's gaming skills
Oh all hell broke loose into a heated argument
"I totally bet I could beat you in Tekken"
"Oh you fucking wish"
"Who do you main"
"Roger" (Roger is a Kangaroo)
"What the fuck are you doing? Representing Jake's home? That character takes no skill to beat people as"
"Yeah well who do you main"
"Is that even a question? Alisa Bosconovitch. A cyborg robot lady with fucking jet legs and chainsaw arms you can't tell me that's not cool"
"You're telling me I'M the one that plays someone that takes no skill to play as?"
You both knew there was only one way to settle this
Jay got out Playstation and everything for it and put it as a 5 match game
Settling yourselves into the game you both where doing actually really well
Way too well actually it was 2 to 2 so whoever won this round one the game
Your anxiety got too high
You where not gonna let this dude win
He'd be too cocky for his own good holding it over you
Quickly you had an idea as you saw his health was only 50% of the way nearing death and your ultra power and held up enough exp
"BABY IS THAT A SPIDER" you yelled looking at the ground near his leg
Causing him to roll away from his spot fearing a spider near his leg loosing focus
That's when you charged at his character
You could see the soul leave his body
When he saw the pink and magenta hair move speedy across the screen straight to his sweet little kangaroo in boxing gloves and a neck tie
"K.O" filling the screen you knew his yell was coming before he even did it
"AAAAAAAAA"
"WAS THERE EVEN A SPIDER"
"No baby I just had to through you off your rthym"
Man he was HURT
"I can't tell if that was foul or not. I'm going to talk with Niki on if what you did was fair or not"
"Babe it's not that deep-"
"No No No you owe me a rematch, kiss and patience as I consult with Niki"
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Jake
Gosh this sweet boy
You two where playing dead by daylight on switches laying on opposite sides of the couch so you couldn't see eachothers screen
And you just kept scaring Jake coming up out of no where behind him
"Baby please just kill me you don't have to run up behind me" he was so scared please(〒﹏〒)
He was giving you puppy dog eyes that quickly went to fear as he shrieked from you running up behind him as he tried to start the car for the 18478282 time
You realized he was actually almost done fixing the car due to his pears so you went on a killing spree it was just you, Jake and some girl who was searching for fuel that you couldn't find
Getting back to Jake you realized he actually started the car and was ready to drive it and win the game
You hid behind a tree so he wouldn't see you
So in that moment you said "Jake can you toss the blanket I'm really cold"
Jake is too much if a gentle men he did so immedietly with a smile on his face you felt a little bad for what you where doing ngl
You took this chance and killed Jake's character
He knows that's how the game works that you you still could've done that without
But boy still yelled that it was unfair
Another boy who would just pout
Beware next round he's not going to be nice and will play the murderer
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Sunghoon
Who knew a game of thumb war would get so aggressive
You where just waiting for the time to pass for a cafe to open up since you guys where too early before opening
The glares you shot eachother where unreal
Neither of you wanted to loose and both where confident in winning
But one thing was tempting you
The sign flipping over to open on the front door
So in that quick moment you felt really bad
But you stepped on his toe as you lifted your arms down and quickly put your thumb over his
"12345678910 I WIN"
"NO YOU DIDNT THAT WAS TOTALLY CHEATING"
He was so upset omg
The glare on his face
You know the look like just 😐 but definitely angry
But he couldn't hide the smile on his face when you leaned in to kiss his cheek
"I needed the game to end the cafes open now baby,,,"
He went blank for a second confused then
"OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT WE WHERE IN LINE FOR THE CAFE LETS GET IN"
A smile filled his face and he moved your hands to be in an actual hand holding way as you too went in
But don't get me wrong
This boy getting a rematch
And if you playing dirty he'll play dirty too
But for now he'll be fine having this cafe date of coffee/tea and pastries with you
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Sunoo
Rthym games aren't a competition
But you guys made it one-
Who could get a higher score??
Originally a joke gone TOO far
Since here you are playing one song from Superstar Woollim, Superstar SM and Superstar JYP
Just 3 main and random superstar rthym games
Each thing was going alright then you got to Woollim
You both played the same songs but each got to choose a song
Woollim you knew The Eye was hard so you chose it and had him go first
He was doing surprisingly well though
Too well🤔
But suddenly Jungwon entered the room
You knew what to do
Make that boy jealous
"Hi bubs! How are you?" You said looking up to Jungwon
Jungwon was very polite asked you how you where
And Sunoo was not having it
He's fine with you being friends with all of enha
He encourages it!
But bubs is a pet name that's for him and him only😔😔
This caused his attention to tare away for a second
Suddenly in the blink of an eye his heart dropped as the "missed" noise came through the phone
The yELL
He was so mad
Once the song was done he immedietly went
"Did you do that on purpose?"
"Sort of"
And then you just did your turn and this boy gasped and look at you likeヽ༼⁰o⁰;༽ノ
He would be pettyyyyy
He'd be so mad
Pouting and glaring at you
Just completely done
You'd have to go in with a LOT of cuddles and affection
But he'd still not budge for a while
You got a better score than him so you won
But he will hold this over you whenever he wants something he'll be like
"remember when you cheated in a game we where playing by making me jealous? That was a little too much don't you think? Now grab me one of the ice cream bars from the freezer"
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Jungwon
Wonnie this precious boy
Ppuyo ppuyo Tetris is not a game to play with others
It ruins relationships, friendships, family bonds (from personal experience as someone who got grilled on their Tetris skills while playing 1v1 while my friend was also doing terrible)
He got it since the characters looked cute
And Tetris is fun!
So why not??
You guys started playing it on the switch and everything was fine at first
Then it started getting faster
Wonnie chose the annoying little wizard guy that just yells every 5 seconds
It was driving you both up a wall ngl
So you where like how do I cheat in Tetris,,,
You realized you where gonna get a 5 in 1 move so it was gonna fuck up his play real hard
But if he realizes that's your move he can make one just as strong if he puts his brain to realize what spots he has open and he's good at coming back from riskfull moments
So you digged deep in your brain to think of something quick
It hit you then
"Wonnie did I ever tell you who my Enhypen bias was"
His face just sort scrunched and he was like ¯\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯ I thought it was me? Moment
"wouldn't it be me? I never thought to ask"
"Oh okay" legit you had gone in with the 5 in 1 move and he hadn't looked at the silver blocks that quickly started to fill his screen he wanted to know
"nonono who is it?" Turned to you he didn't even see the mess that was on his screen
Until he heard the god for saken wizard just yell in defeat
"wait no that's unfair you can't drop something like that on me while we where in a 1v1 match"
His eyes he would just ಠ︵ಠ
Boy so sad :((
He lost the game and now he doesn't know if you bias him or not
If you do bias him you'd just tell him and he'd be like you stressed me out for noThing??
If you didn't bias him he'd be fine with it but he'd need a little moment of confirmation
Idk give this boy some kisses you stressing him out
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Niki
Intense DDR fight let's go
This boy don't go down without a fight
Neither do you
But as the levels kept going and the energy got more and more intense
You know it was very likely Niki could win
That boy is dancing prodigy type of guy
So he be doing these steps while also the hand work of the dance itself just to flex
Done with the cute boys snarky behavior
You did the one thing that would throw him of his rthym
Pretend to get hurt
You crouched in a way and made it seem like your knee was in pain but you where still doing the steps
Niki was gonna look over to you to be snarky and witty
But you looked in pain and this giant baby got panicked
"nononono baby are you okay? If you're in pain don't worsen your injury we can stop playing, what about your knee hurts?" He was panicking and you immedietly felt so bad
He stopped moving and so his score got worse and worse
You felt so bad you pretended to just act it out a lil more
"no don't worry Riki it's okay I'll be fine"
"don't say that you're in pain you could worsen your condition, let's find out what happened maybe you just buckled your knee? I've done that, be more careful please"
He legit went over to your board and tried to just stop your movements and left a kiss on your forehead
The song would end and your score would be higher but you would never do that as a cheat again
You didn't even have the courage to tell Riki after
He continued to be just so sweet and caring throughout the date
Would probably even text you afterwards like "Im sorry you injured your knee a little but I'm glad afterwards you felt better and I had a lot of fun :))"
Pls you better keep that all in till the day you die or tell him it's up to you but don't mess with this pore boy again like that pls(〒﹏〒)
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mathmusic8 · 3 years ago
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Kenobi episode 5 reaction
putting spoilers under the cut since it's still pretty early in the morning
Oh great, this episode has a trigger warning at the beginning. Not a good sign
Awwwwww the flashback!!
......this doesn't work. She can't be grand Inquisitor. Disney WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Uggggh this invasion is gonna get ugly
HAJA! yeeeeee!
YEEEE Obi-Wan's helping!
This is still gonna be ugly
There's another wall with signatures!!
AAAAAAAAA THEY COLLECTED LIGHTSABERS 
awww, Obi-Wan felt comfy enough to leave Leia with Haja XD
More Anakin training flashback!! <3
Obi-Wan's giving a speech!! He's getting involved! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Death troopers... *cries*
(it's a popular fandom belief that Cody became a purge/death/dark trooper)
(Now that we know Cody will appear in the Bad Batch show, this is unlikely, but still.)
This
Will
Not
Go
Well
LEIA! "I'm gonna need a ladder."
Ohhh man, she's gonna find Lola's been compromised
HAJA! 
Garel shout out!
The negotiator is requesting to negotiate (i.e. stalling)--classic :D
Yay we finally got the fact that she knew Vader is Skywalker thing called out!
Welp that's confirmed--she was a temple youngling
Oh is this O66 flashback the trigger warning? If so, I appreciate the warning
Oh, Inquisitor lady just doing this to kill Vader?
OHHHHHKAAAAY DECENT JOB DISNEY
Obi-Wan... that dark trooper BETTER not have been Cody.
Nooooo! Tala! Nooo the loader droid!
TALA NOOOOOO!
(This was probably the trigger warning)
(I sense a million fix-it fics for this scene)
Ooof, that was Obi-Wan's first loss in a while
Noooo Obi-Wan don't give up!
Okay, he's not
About time Leia! 
Oh, that was a very quick fix for Lola.
Cool! NOW GET THEM OUT
Ohhhh no, Haja, stop dropping things!
Vader CANNNOT find that transmitter
YEEEEEE they used a decoy and it worked!!
WHAT ABOUT THE TRANSMITTER??
Oh Inquisitor lady--you dead
Whoa those fancy lightsaber things come apart??
VADER USING TWO LIGHTSABERS OKAY YES SWEET
(I mean, someone had to teach Ahsoka how. We just never saw it)
Yup she dead. There she goes
Oh? Vader let her live as a youngling. On purpose. Huh. Why. When he killed the others. Maybe specifically to use as an Inquisitor. Eh.
THERE'S the real Grand Inquisitor--about freaking time, Disney. Good to know you aren't completely abandoning your own plotlines. Us superfans weren't fooled for a second. So not sure why you even tried.
Of course the Hyperdrive is down
Ahhhh, so this is not good. Inquisitor lady found out about Luke. She might not be on Vader's side, but she's certainly not on Kenobi's side, either. She also knows who Owen is--that's an interesting weird coincidence that would only be possible in Star Wars XD
BABY LUKE IS ADORBS
and that's a wrap! So overall, pretty good episode. We're finally getting plotlines wrapped up and seeing some payoff. I'm still not a huge fan of the amount of people getting stabbed in the gut and surviving while other people are shot in the gut and go straight down.
I was glad to see Haja again, and I look forward to the chance to study that wall with the signatures to see if there's anyone we know
I would have appreciated the trigger warning more on earlier episodes--this one was relatively mild compared to episode 3, in my view. People dying in a firefight is different from Vader killing innocent children in a random village. We did have Order 66 flashbacks, but we had those earlier, too, with no warning. So ultimately, I appreciated the trigger warning, but they really should have had that on all the other episodes, too.
I'm really curious to see how this gets resolved because Obi-Wan is like, almost willing to help out again? But he's still on Tatooine in A New Hope, and the rest of the Rebellion (including Rex) doesn't know about him. So. Something big's gonna happen in the finale
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phoebehalliwell · 4 years ago
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I've always wondered about paige meeting a witch/darklighter hybrid? Because she is big on nurture vs nature but how would she react to someone who half of their existence is deadly to half of her? But at the same time they are both half witch?
okay but like!!!!! literally Literally we meet a fucking darklighter season 1 whose sole purpose was to knock somebody up like light magic has all these rules to follow but who’s setting the rules for dark magic? the source? the source doesn’t care oh no there are more evil babies in the world aaaa ?? it was the same thing with hecate it was the same thing with the manticore hell it was probably the same thing with cole. evil loves having lil half-mortal babies it stands to reason that the idea of an extra power boost from having a kid with say a witch (or hell even a warlock or any other mix up of the two) would only be a plus. it stands to reason that the girls should have run into So Many splits like. Especially darklighters!! given that we were literally told there’s like darklighters who specifically exist to just knock other people up (which also. girl what. boo.) i mean honestly? honestly? i don’t even think we need a hybrid just straight up someone with a mortal mother and a darklighter father like that alec/daisy situation who was raised by his mom for the majority of his life until his father found him and took him (maybe killing mom who’s 2 say) and tried raising him as a darklighter. but it’s like. you know. he was raised for the most part as a human kid and yes he had some powers teleportation and then like. instant kill. but like. those aren’t well no teleportation is but instant kill is not a fun power especially if you’re just supposed to be a normal dude!
and then i’ve talked about this before (this is where i would link the post If I Could Find It i searched for. 30-40 min. i do not know where it is. aaaaaaaaa.) i don't think darklighters are born with any innate imperative to kill whitelighters or anything, the same with demon warlocks etc. i think it's all a cultural thing like killing the most witches makes you like. idk you know popular celebrity within ur faction. like uhh u drive a whole bunch of whitelighters to suicide ur fuckin steph curry of ur darklighter clan the man can't miss. So. if we have a guy let's name the guy let's pick a name that means darkness. kieran!! okay so lil kieran was raised by mom and knows very little of his powers, and you know mom knows even less she doesn't even know his father's name. But!! mom is a future whitelighter, she's just a bit wayward at the moment, so her whitelighter cloaked her so that she can raise her son in peace n safety. but oh no!! mom's dead. and the cloaking on kieran was only an extension of mom's cloaking so now he's out in the open n here comes dad. and you know we'll say kieran's a bit of a fucked up kid nobody's perfect so like. he's never really quite fit in anywhere and he's always been terrified of his powers but when his dad offers him a people like him who understand him who can better hone his powers (we'll say he's in highschool) he's like this is lit!! and i get a crossbow! and he's always kinda taught that whitelighters are the enemy they're these abominations souls reanimated by the elders as weapons, stacked w powers, they can never move on, and they just have to behave as pawns to the elders whims. bc like. this kid was raised human he really doesn't get hunting whitelighters for like sport so his dad tries to keep him a little bit sheltered from the true nature of it all thinking that once the kid is older, once he gets the taste in his mouth he'll come around. so kieran spends ages 17 to like 23-25 underground in the underworld learning about darklighters learning about the lineage he's from but there's like. like he's a smart kid. and he knows there's something they're not telling him. so when he hears talk of two of his peers going on a hunt, he kinda tails them just to see what's what, only to see them maim a witch to kill their whitelighter, and who should their whitelighter be if not kieran's dead mom. and they leave both the witch and the whitelighter for dead bc like. kieran's mom can't heal with the poison in her veins it’s a slow working poison so they'll both be cold as the grave in 24hrs. and kieran like runs up to his mom like a) you're alive?!? b) you're a whitelighter?!!?!! and c) you know like what the fuck. because that's his Mom. she couldn't have like. told him. left him a sign. and you know like heart to heart blah blah blah and the witch is over here kinda saying like hi?? darklighter? what the fuck? and kieran's like aaaa because he can't help all he can do is like kill and the witch is like doesn't matter bring me a map and a crystal and using kieran's mom's blood scrys for the nearest whitelighter like u should be able to sense them go bring them to us and maybe i won't vanquish you, a threat kieran has literally never received, and quite frankly the terminology makes him a little bit uncomfortable.
and you know where else should the crystal land if not south bay social services, and you know kieran really doesn't know what he's looking for he's never hunted whitelighter so he was never taught to sense them but evidently it's in his power so he gives it a shot but like no. what's he even looking for? he has no idea. so instead he just runs up to this raven haired woman about his age like fuck it do you have a phone. and paige is like ??? who do you need to call who are you here for what are you here for do i need to grab you any forms and kieran's like fuck it if you go to this address you'll find to people in mortal danger. they need help. and then like. bolts. and paige is like what the fuck!!
and you know blah blah blah they manage to save the witch but they can't save the mom bc they don't know what poisoned her and it kinda makes the papers Because It's Fuckin Weird especially because the mom already died?? this woman literally must have faked her own death five years ago only to die from an unknown poison in a san francisco apartment. and then you know blah blah blah within a month or two it's revealed paige is a charmed one! a witchlighter! and then comes the reveal of darklighters and their poisoned arrows and paige is like wait. i've seen this before. and describes you know the scene with the witch and the woman and leo's like. i should name the mom. soleil. leo's like that was soleil she was a whitelighter, and piper's like wait why were you there, and paige is like i don't know there was this guy who told me to go to that address to save them and then like ran away, and piper and phoebe are like that's fuckin weird. and he approached u specifically? and paige is like yeah he pushed his way across the office to get to my cubicle. and piper phoebe are looking at leo like what does this mean what does this mean, and leo's like idk. and meanwhile kieran's trying to break from the darklighter clan but he knows he can't get out unless he's cloaked. so he goes back to try to find the witch he saved to ask her to cloak him but she says she doesn't have that power and he's like okay well who does and she's like only a whitelighter does and he's like okay could u find me one and she's like r u fucking joking. you want me to get a whitelighter here just so u can kill? and kieran's like what no i'm not i want out that's why i'm here i don’t wanna be a darklighter anymore, and the witch is like that's not a choice you have it's in your blood now the only reason i'm letting you live rn is because evidently you’re soleil’s kid she was a good woman i trusted her but i don't know you. and i don't trust you. and if you orb in here again i swear to god i will vanquish you. just so we can get you know a solid dose of light magic not trusting kieran, not based on his actions (hell even in spite of his actions) but purely based on his lineage.
so blah blah blah kieran start spending more and more time above ground and just trying to subtly distance himself from the clan which his father can sense and quite frankly like yes is concerned but is more just like. pissy because he's making him look bad, especially the fact he's gone this long without a kill it's making him look weak. so his dad's like fuck it we're going hunting together and now it's like. obviously non optional. you're gonna kill a whitelighter or you'll you know get the boot lose the only people who could possibly understand you so you know it's kieran and dad above ground and he's teaching him to sense for whitelighters teaching him what the skill is and kieran's actually picking it up quite well and honestly. honestly? he might make this kill. he can't survive alone. he doesn't even know who he is. and his powers are calling him loud and clear to a whitelighter. meanwhile paige is out on a mission with like piper and leo and immediately drops everything breaks from the pack starts running because there's that guy!! and kieran realizes that the call is coming from the raven haired girl. and that his dad is right behind her lining up the shot.
and so you know act now think later he grabs paige and they disappear into a cloud of black orbs and reemerge right behind his father and kieran calls his crossbow and shoots his father. in the shoulder. it's intentional. kieran has great aim. and he won't kill. and his dad's fuckin pissed and honestly about ready to kill the both of them when piper rounds the corner and blasts him to bits. and well. now kieran's definitely left with no family. so he says a quick apology to paige and orbs out. and piper and leo are like that one was a darklighter too!! and paige is like no no u don't get it. he just saved me. and they're like He What? why'd you follow him into this alley in the first place? and paige is like that's the guy! the guy the soleil & witch guy who told me to save them. and leo's like a darklighter working to save a witch and whitelighter? that's not right. paige i trust you i don't think you're lying but i don't think you know the whole story. he's a darklighter. they're evil. and paige is like then why did he save me? why did he save the other witch? why’d he try to save the whitelighter? and piper's like for all we know he's the one who shot her you saw his crossbow. and paige is like no this isn't right there's something we don't know here. blah blah blah they go to the original saved witch who informs them that while kieran is a darklighter he's soleil's son and paige is like !!! i knew it! he's an innocent we're meant to save him. and piper and leo are like respectfully, paige, no, that's way too dangerous. bonus round if piper's pregnant here pre- orb shield knowledge. and leo's like paige he can't help it it's nature it's just who he is. he can't be good. and paige is like why. why not. and leo's like he's half darklighter. and paige is like yeah and i'm half whitelighter. and piper's like fuckin yeah babe that's The Point he's a danger to us. and paige is like no the point is if it's all so predetermined if there's no fighting what we're born as they why was i awful. why was i a brutal cruel evil miserable child? you don't know me and you don't know the things i've done (pushing back the paige dead parent reveal for later) and it doesn't matter that i have literally angel blood i was terrible! there was nothing in my nature that held me back from that vicious side. i chose to grow. i chose to become the woman i am today and every morning i wake up and chose that it's not some predestined halo around my head it's me waking up every day and choosing to fight for the good in this and you know what i think he's part of it.
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guqin-and-flute · 3 years ago
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@sagetsukimura said: I LITERALY JUST FINISHED READING ALL THAT WASS UP, GOT ON TUMBLR, AND HERE YOU ARE. I DIDNT COME LOOKING FOR YOU, I DIDNT EVEN REMEBER I FOLLOWED YOU BUT NOW I KNOW AND TODAY IS A GOOD DAY
AAAAH HOW FORTUITOUS! 😀 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, I'M GLAD IT MADE YOUR DAY GOOD!!! ♥
@january-summers said: Oh wow, it's been so long since madam Jin's been to Lotus Pier, wouldn't it just be an absolute shame if one of the boards on one of the piers was rotten and she just happened to fall into the water into a patch of the grossest, slimiest, clingiest weeds? 😡 truly, just so tragic. 🔪 (also: OMG this was so good, it hurt me in the best way)
PFFFF THIS SEAWEED HAS MURDEROUS INTENT. It would DEFINITELY make Yanli sad but I can see 'Oh man, it ws just awful, her window got left open in a thunderstorm while she was out and her shoes and letters got all ruined how saaaad. AH, thank so muuuch, it was definitely a kicker 😓 Happier times on the way for sure, slow and steady!
@themoonbunnyverse said: Oh no. No no no no 😭 Why the timing had to be so bad? Ugh. Can I punch everyone in Koi Tower? (Minus Mianmian) The fact that Jin Guangshan did the wedding behind Madam Jin's back makes me wonder if Mingjue, Huaisang and Xichen even know that A-Yao is married. (I don't remember if they were at the wedding. I apologize If that's a dumb musing 😅)
OOF, just absolutely awful :((( Yessss, Mianmian escapes punching (and Koi Tower eventually, because holy shit), but Zixuan hasn't done anything that bad, except decline to renew the betrothal (and he has his reasons, we shall see when we hear from him!) And NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR MUSING! IT IS NEVER DUMB!! That is a good thought! They didn't exactly advertise it, but JGY definitely told Xichen who would have told Mingjue and Huaisang--and if JGY hadn't, it's been roughly about a month or 2 since they got married, so the gossip of a man being married out has spread.
It wasn't a secret to the world, just Madam Jin because she would put up the most fuss, so Jin Guangshan waited until she went on her trip and sprung the idea. (I get the feeling she needs lots of trips away from him 🙄)
They all have reasons they haven't been around (though Xichen has written, in his defense) and we may be hearing from them all soon 👀
@viterbofangirl said: ^^^ That's a good point about knowing about the wedding! But anyways AAAAAAAAA PLEASE LET'S GET SOME FLUFFY COMFORT UP IN HERE!!!
Yes, definitely, especially since Yanli was wondering!! DON'T WORRY I DEFINITELY WILL, there's a bit of hard stuff to go through first, but there will definitely be a way more of a balance with comfort than just the straight angst this chapter was!
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lover-of-trash-and-people · 4 years ago
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im angrier this time? netflix shadow and bone s1e7 re-watch (substituting alcohol with iced coffee this time) (oh, also, spoilers)
yes jesper shooting ketterdam cards title card omg I straight up forgot that this was the darkling backstory episode we all know I love bin bons as much as the next person but um can we petition to never see the flashback darkling look again I kind of love Luda but I find the entire backstory kind of unnecessary even though I get why they did it okay mr. barnes king of micro-expressions alright fuck you show makers with you breaking my heart showing me how the Grisha have had to go through this countless times that they have their plans memorized oy dumbass otkazat'sya man you speak the darkling's name with some respect alright I've got to accept the tricck they use against the king's men is pretty cool omg you fucking bitch this is exactly why people say acab I've seen people say why couldn't he have broken his bonds and killed them before they killed Luda and I truly believe a) he didn't want to kill unnecessarily and b) Luda's life was at stake so like I get it okay so I don't like the 'just mortal' thing they brought it to sort of drive darklina soulmates agenda home because lmao that is not why okay I get Baghra's points but I don't like her, she like made more sense in the books her position on merzost is true to the books but like her pacifist stance is not the same and it just doesn't make sense okay I like the poc tidemaker in their company the score when the king's men soon to be volcra confront the darkling is impeccable that blast of darkness that we see spread outwards from him was very cool dunno how I feel about him hyperventilating and the fold flowing from him like an inky black liquid god, the score when baghra asks alek 'what did you do' is so eerie and beautiful that transition was on fucking point HOW IS KANEJ IS SO ON POINT I SIMPLY CANNOT the Inej Jesper bond is so beautiful I love it okay I love and hate how they refer to Inej's horrible time at the Menagerie so briefly and yet try to add so much impact to it omg why is Jesper about to make me cry cut to Malina huddled together? okay, show god I hate how the amplifier storyline is so incredibly poorly developed the stag is so beautiful I can't 'maybe there's another way to do this'?! again with the sgegehshshsjsjs I hate it here, fucking explain it at least okay fine the shot of Alina lighting up as she touches the stag and smiling with the soft violin in the back was beautiful now time to say bye to the stag and cry I guess okay I love zoya, she feels very authentic to book 1 zoya with maybe a few tweaks we love to see a man with plot armour uwu okay Alina my fucking queen taking out the arrow would cause him to bleed out faster why would you do that the dumbassery okay alek you overdramatic bitch I LOVED THE LIGHT SHIELD lmao I'm gonna cry at how nasal and supervillain-y the Darkling sounds when he says 'you can't save them all Alina' like okay king maybe that line could have better delivery I'm so sorry I love you so much I'm still a BB stan 'you've lost too much blood' maybe if you wouldn't have taken the arrow out you dumbass 'you said you wouldn't hurt him' nobody said that Alina but I get it you've been through a lot you're obviously not thinking love the cut, she's always cool 'miss starkov' you're in tsarist russia stfu ono I'm not prepared for this Kanej scene I need several minutes they're so perfect 'Jesper fixed your cane' I see you writers thinking they're clever omg Amita shivering from the cold babe I'm so proud of you you're so incredibly cool I love his little jaw movements before he says 'you were right' and her composing herself before turning around due to the shock of hearing these words from Kaz's mouth okay we've all talked about the voice break when he says 'she's real' so I will not dwell on it but it was beautiful the little head bend after he says 'and you' as if catching himself before saying 'and jesper' yes sir that was very convincing AAAAAHHHH IT'S HAPPENING I CAN'T COPE yeah okay fuck you I'm crying Kaz's expression at 'I can't go back to the Menagerie' being literally 'I can't believe
you think I'll ever let that happen' you fucking idiots I hate you and how much you love each other you are disgusting David so much so as breathes I love him Him saying 'Im going to place this around your neck' comedic genius David looks so sad my baby angel it's not your fault get that man's true name out of your mouth Starkov you're not supposed to know it let alone say it in front of other people aleksander this is the first time I've truly disliked you, you fucking asshole, Alina my love please don't believe him (why am I saying it like I haven't read the books and watched this already) LUKE HAVING ACTUAL TEARS IN HIS EYES AS HE PLACES THE ANTLERS AT HER NECK WHY IS HE SO GOOD AAAAAAAAA I didn't notice Ivan slowing her heart on my first watch, is that to reduce the pain ouch I am even more sad now okay Jessie you did it again Emmy time for all of these people okay the violin being sad and terrifying this is so good Luke being sad, Jessie literally crying I fucking can't do this anymore 'this is my power' 'but now I control it' really? that was the best you could do at this scene that is meant to have this great of an impact? him sort of pushing her down made me even more upset I'm so mad right now Freddie's microexpression with the eye when Inej says 'Jes has a point' Jessie looks so perfectly shell-shocked, I love them so so much the prosthetic's so gross, I love it so much DAISY HEAD IS THE PERFECT GENYA I WILL ACCEPT NO COMPLAINTS She brought me to tears and I love it Alina pointing out the Darkling's role in Genya's circumstances this early on, we love to see a well deserved call out it seemed very unlikely to me that Kaz would agree to go home empty handed but I do think it would make sense to cut their losses at a certain point I love the Kribirsk camp sets far too much, they seem to have literally leapt out of the books the darkling coming to see Mal seems very fanservice-ey and not at all adding to the plot in any way but I love it Archie bringing that youthful brashness to Mal that we all know he would have is wonderful mal calling the darkling 'shadow man' lmao I'm gonna cry 'you are a child' yeah Alek babe it's best you don't talk about that Alina is of the same age as he is I wanna go to Ben Barnes' school of nose acting because god damn Archie perfectly bringing to life Mal's realisation of the impact that Alina's immortality will bring to their life together oof sir you don't understand how perfect it is that Ben's eyes are actually that dark 'you'll wish you killed me here' it's okay honey you lost this one the Crows being the Crows I love them can we please have Jesper wearing the Zemeni man's red suit be a stepping stone to him wearing fancy clothes of outrageous colours like lime green and orange in the six of crows timeline because the fans will lose their shit and you know it Inej looking fucking fabulous in her suit I can't Kanej smiling at their crazy little bi son's antics okay can we talk about Milo literally saving the day because writer's room im looking at you you're a bunch of crazy mfers and I love you but I also hate you also I get that Mal's a tracker but would he actually have food in his pocket I know this joke has been made before but like Mal pretending to be asleep after waking the guard up is every teenager pretending to be asleep when their parents come to check on them in the middle of the night omg it's the scene those beautiful gauzy curtains at the door of the tent, I want them so bad 'you are special' he says standing stiffly at the door with a creepy inflection why am I suddenly an anti wtf I want his kefta so bad though 'my parents' I love that the show added her losing her parents to him as well because well it makes him even more villanous in her eyes doesn't it no matter what she might have felt for him uwu first fight as a couple (I'm kidding please stop) I love Jessie as Alina so much darkles don't even go off comparing being Grisha to being half-shu you can't compare experiences of being the other that interchangeably yes baby call him out on his
hypocrisy man I'm so conflicted like I understand his motivations and his story so well but like how is this helping okay but Alina's expression changing ever so slightly at him saying 'you and me' stop breaking my fucking heart assholes why is Jessie breaking my heart more on this watch than Ben did on the first one I knew it before he said it but I still gasped when he did on my first watch the little head tilt after he says it still with tears in his fucking eyes man I love this show this was the most devastating break up I have ever experienced and I will not accept any counter arguments okay actual villain time we love to see it sir please don't erotically remove her cloak you have long lost the right again I knew it before they said it but them saying it had me screaming WHAT A GLORIOUS EPISODE
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hopevalley · 4 years ago
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Season 8, Episode 10: Old Love, New Love, Is This True Love
All right, so...like I said, work has picked up and my eyes feel like old marbles from staring at numbers (the woes of working in accounting I guess) so I want to get this written up and tossed into the nether before I lose steam and motivation to do it. The interesting thing about these little write-ups is that as the week goes on they just get harder and harder to write...
I do apologize in advance to those who like the long-winded write-ups. I’m just not up to it at the moment. Still feeling kind of bleh from the episode.
Let’s go back to an old format, shall we?
The Good
We might as well start out with the things about this episode that I enjoyed! 
Gossip Hour with the Men was one of the best openers they’ve had on the show in a while. It was genuinely funny without being meanspirited. Nobody looked like the bad guy. Everyone just calmly talked about it alike it was a normal thing to maybe call off the wedding. Bill calling out Carson for giving marriage advice was pretty funny, Mike was a delight. I don’t know what to say. I’d watch a whole episode of The Boys just hanging around spending time together.
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--
Florence’s worry that she’s ugly was...not a terrible idea for a storyline, but the actress is too good-looking to pretend to be ugly (I saw her in this pretty yellow dress on Instagram a couple years ago and she was smashing)? Also, it’s not like Ned is a handsomely aged gentleman (like Henry lol) so it makes even less sense for the characters. I think they should have gone with Florence feeling she’s “plain” and that dressing up Super Nice makes her feel uncomfortable because she just doesn’t feel like Herself and worries maybe it’s projecting a false sense of Who She Is or something? I guess overall I still liked that an attempt was made to add some depth to Florence and her difficulties in choosing a dress/hairstyle, so...it goes here.
--
Ned asking Henry to be his best man was nice, too. I can forgive the shoddy pacing and weird placement of this request (like I do with almost everything in the show) but only because the scene was just...so incredibly wholesome. 
I like how Henry just casually is like, “Well maybe today’s just not the day.” I think it eased Ned’s mind just a little that he CAN back out if he really wants to.
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I think it’s worth thinking about the fact that Ned and Henry would have always worked very closely, since the mercantile would have been a company store before the mine closed down... I like Henry and Ned as pals.
--
I’m glad the “investment” thing with Jesse and Clara’s savings was brought up in a way that...makes sense. And also, glad it wasn’t forgotten.
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--
I really liked Molly and Florence in this episode. I’m a little sad Florence married Ned because I AM SORRY BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SHIPPING MOLLY AND FLORENCE TOGETHER UGHGHGHH
But their relationship is so good and maYBE Elizabeth will learn something from them.
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Hey Elizabeth...you see that?
YOU SEE THAT?
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Just saying.
And then later...
“You are the sister I never had, the mother I forever wanted, the friend I have always needed. From the depths of those dark and terrifying coal mines you’ve walked beside me, picking me up whenever I’ve stumbled along the way.”
AAAAAAAAA IT GOT ME.
--
I’m...really liking Fiona and Mike’s relationship, whatever it is. I kind of think they’re not headed toward anything romantic. Everyone thinks Mike is really into Fiona but at the end of the episode we realize he likes talking to her about business; it’s almost like they have this shared passion for numbers/ideas and he likes infodumping to her (and vice-versa).
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I think they’re going to end up being “just friends” and Fiona will end up paired off with the man Elizabeth doesn’t choose. They hinted at Nathan briefly in this episode (with Allie’s hair), but who knows? I’m over trying to speculate on where the triangle is going at this point, but I actually like Fiona’s relationship with Mike so much that I’ll be disappointed if she fades into the background with Nathan or Lucas. Mike deserves more screentime. 
--
Ned and Florence sharing their fIRST KISS. My husband got emotional over this. And I admit, it was starting to get to me, too. I can’t NOT root for them. 
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--
I said it before and I’ll say it again: I WOULD DIE FOR THE CANFIELDS.
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--
The wedding was nice. I liked that Bill and Joseph officiated it together; it gives Joseph a li’l trial run of pastoring and finally Bill gets to use some of that power of his to officiate a wedding.
“Please, if you’d like” is such a Bill way to say that they may kiss LOL.
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--
Also, I have to admit that I did enjoy Lucas calling Nathan out about Allie. She wouldn’t be caught in the middle if he’d leave Elizabeth alone AND HE IS RIGHT LMAO.
The last good thing: Elizabeth telling Nathan she doesn’t blame him for Jack’s death. Nice. Good. Thank you. He probably needed to hear that.
--
...THE BAD
Carson and Faith. UGH. UGHHHHHHHHHH. BREAK UP ALREADY I HATE YOU BOTH.
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I appreciated that Carson had the ring ages ago, and I did like his conversation with Minnie—or more accurately, her advice to him. I felt like she was nudging him toward, “Remember why you became a surgeon in the first place.” If he became a surgeon to help people, then there’s no reason he can’t help people where he is. Sure, he might not be doing state of the art procedures but with Faith working alongside him, he can afford time to learn new things and go to doctor conventions or even take a specialized class now and then. No other doctor could get away for very long but he has that chance!
And he’ll arguably be doing more good in the middle of nowhere than in the city. All the doctors want to live in the city. Nobody wants to barely get paid for their time in the countryside.
We had a whole episode that made it clear that Faith and Carson don’t make a lot of money and do a lot of charity work. They also work for trade goods (mostly food). So it’s like...a pretty big difference in lifestyle? 
Half the reason I can’t get invested in these characters is because I really can’t stand Paul Greene. He just...annoys me on every single level imaginable. But he’s a decent actor and I can’t help but feel that his character was a massive waste of space for the past few seasons through no fault of the man himself. Imagine introducing a character like Carson and then leaving him to rot before you try to make him interesting with a romance plot that nobody asked for.
Yes, some people really like Faith and Carson, but as a whole I think the fandom didn’t buy into them as a ship due to the lack of chemistry.
It really is a shame. This episode didn’t do a thing to endear me to either character. Please, Carson. I am begging you to leave town.
--
This one particular line of dialogue almost enraged me.
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WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE CAN SEE THAT FOR OURSELVES. WHY DID THEY HAVE ROSEMARY SAY THIS LIKE IT’S AN EPISODE OF A CHILD’S TV SHOW?
--
Elizabeth.........
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How could Katie have...looked up to her? She was never in her class? That was? Never part of anything? It was just something they threw in here to force Elizabeth to make 1% more sense in the role she’s in but IT STILL DOESN’T WORK.
I felt like I was back in Season 5 again with Lori and Elizabeth putting their nose in everyone’s business except it’s just Elizabeth!! The whole plot, which was boring and contrived anyway, should have gone to Molly, since she’s Florence’s best friend and another woman from town that Katie would have known as a child.
AND ALSO, MOLLY WOULD HAVE KNOWN KATIE’S MOTHER AND WOULD REMEMBER THE GRIEF THAT NED STRUGGLED WITH.
I know they wanted to make Elizabeth give advice so that she’d Realize that she needs to, I don’t know, make better choices or something, but it was too on the nose for me and I hated it.
GinithePooh on Reddit made a good comparison to Elizabeth in this episode by saying she reminded them of Clippy from Microsoft Word, always popping up and offering to help when nobody really needs or wants advice.
To honor their incredible idea, I opened Photoshop and created this gem, which I will also be posting separately so that people can reblog it if they wish to.
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I also don’t think I need to say also filed under The Bad is the fact that Elizabeth didn’t even apologize for being awful to Rosemary and then gave her unsolicited advice to other people for two days straight. I can’t believe they wrote that? 
All I can say is that her apology to Rosemary, when it comes, better be good.
--
And I didn’t like this either:
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I wish it had been followed up by literally anything: Nathan saying he’s sorry he didn’t tell her sooner or something to make the hand-holding actually be a little more innocent.
As it is, it just seems so deliberate? 
Maybe the next episode starts off right in this scene and we’ll get that? If so, this might actually end up being fine. I just don’t think it is if it doesn’t get a little more direct attention.
--
& THE UGLY
I debated on putting anything in here, because I’m not ready to talk about my feelings on this matter, at least not fully. But I’ve been pretty quiet all season so far, and...eh, why not just mention things in advance? What will it hurt?
Let me preface this section by saying I’m biased and I doubt hardly anyone on this site will agree with me, so feel free to just ignore this part if that’s the case.
There are two things that I really didn’t like in this episode.
I hate the slanting toward Bill/Molly.
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I like Molly just fine but I don’t like her with Bill. I’m biased as all getout and also worried about the future/potential Season 9 with regards to this. I don’t want to see it. Like at all. Why, you ask? You should know why if you follow me. I’m super transparent.
It’s because I like AJ AND I WANT HER BACK LOL.
John Tinker rewatched the series so we know he wouldn’t have missed that hanging plot thread—especially since he didn’t forget any of the other things that were brought up this season! So why didn’t she appear this season? The love triangle absolutely needed to be a focus or it would have never ended, so that’s part of it, but I’m also pretty sure Josie Bissett wasn’t interested in doing any filming last year during Covid. My only “proof” is that Wedding March 6 wasn’t filmed last year even though it was scheduled to be filmed, but it makes sense. Last year was chaos.
THAT SAID, Jack Wagner posted on his Instagram the other day that they are actually filming Wedding March 6 now, so... I guess AJ’s re-appearance in Season 9 wouldn’t come as too much of a surprise if they wanted to write it.
You’d think I’d be hyped about that, and I kind of am? But it doesn’t come without its share of worries, too. We just had the worst love triangle in the history of love triangles and I really don’t want another one, especially if it makes any of the characters in question look stupid or mean.
I fully admit a well-written love triangle could be a LOT of fun for them* (low stakes because they’re not front and center characters), but I saw how Nathan was written so far this season and I really, REALLY do not want to see that happen to Molly, Bill, or AJ.
Anyway, not a fan of the Molly/Bill stuff. No chemistry. I don’t want it.
*I would totally write a fanfic like this lmao.
--
And finally...the part that everyone will hate me for:
I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ABIGAIL COME BACK. And I specifically do not want her to come back ‘cause I do not wanna see Henry/Abigail happen.
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I fully recognize that a lot of you like it and ship the heck out of it, and that’s...good. I’m glad you enjoy it. I loathe it, though, and I worry that all these hints (more like...mentions) are leaning toward...something. Like, either they’re:
1) Sending Abigail off/tying up that loose end with Henry (since nothing was ever clarified either way), or
2) Warming up the audience to receive Abigail back on the show.
I’m pretty into the idea of one-sided Henry/Abigail. Hindsight is 20/20, regrets, that’s all some juicy stuff to give a character like Henry. Some things can’t ever be made right again. He had too direct of a connection to the death of her husband and son for me to ever want to see them together. Forgiveness? Yes. A careful but meaningful friendship? Yes. Romantic relationship? Uh...no thanks.
I liked the Abigail mentions at first because I felt like...the character still mattered (as she should) but I’m at a point where I feel like they’re trying really hard to steer the fandom’s view a certain way and not knowing where it’s going is extremely unsettling to me.
--
I’ll probably talk more about the things that bother me when the season ends, because I’m hoping to have a better idea of where things are going to be headed, but for now just...know that I feel very apprehensive.
And keep in mind that I primarily watch this show for Bill these days, since all my previous faves (AJ, Frank, the old Abigail, Dottie) have exited, stage left. I also always really liked seeing Henry. So as you can imagine, seeing plotlines I hate for the only two characters I’m invested in? Is making me consider dropping the series next year.
My husband told me I should hate-watch it, but I don’t know if my heart can take it. I’ve been following this series for so long...it just...kind of hurts to feel let down like this? 
But sometimes an ongoing series ends up going where you...didn’t want it to, and it becomes something that’s no longer right for you. I hope that doesn’t happen, but last night’s episode makes me feel like...it might be happening for real this time.
I guess if that holds true it’ll be back to fanfiction for me. Will that novelization I planned ages ago end up getting written? Will I write the best love triangle fanfic known to man? WHO KNOWS.
For now, we’ll all have to wait and see! Two more episodes left. I’m really curious to see how they resolve some of the open plots right now. :>
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lorei-writes · 4 years ago
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Inspirational “AAAAAAAAA!”
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Masamune Gen Fic
Hello, @paleblood-moon​ ! :D Thanks for the prompt. I hope it turned out okay-ish ^^” I don’t have anything smart to say here. I think I abused otome world powers a tiny bit, but shh.
Content Warnings: alcohol, being tricked into drinking 
“ Maybe I should start...” Masamune suddenly cut her off, his head hitting the table a moment later. His breathing deepening, he drifted off into the land of dreams.
It was just another day, just another night they’d celebrate victory – one of many that were already to come and of many that had already happened. Masamune breathed in deeply, his thoughts refusing to be reigned in. A smile on his face, he stepped into the audience hall and sat at his place by the table. He needed to just eat something and he’d relax eventually, he was sure of that. It never lasted long, after all. He lifted up his cup.
Suddenly, the room turned upside-down, just to return to its previous state a moment later. Masamune blinked fast – what was he doing there again? Nobunaga cleared his throat, standing up at the top of the table. Arms folded behind his back, his beak opened, a triumphant look showing in his carnelian eyes. “ AAAAAAAAA!” he exclaimed. The gathered crowd began to clap, although Masamune wasn’t sure why. He looked down onto the food in front of him, pieces of meat starring back at him and hissing in a threatening manner. Shrugging his shoulders, he ate one regardless, humming in his ears intensifying with each bite. Tasty.
A sudden movement grasped his attention, his eye traveling to its source. Opposite of him, Hideyoshi ruffled his feathers. He stretched his wings out and flapped them once, getting on his yellow chicken feet to knead the pillow below him… Chicken? Masamune always thought that calling Hideyoshi a “mother hen” was just a figure of speech. Perhaps he wasn’t looking close enough earlier. Feathered neck with a human head at the end of it turning towards him, he raised his eyebrows. “ Mitsuhide, what the fuck have you done?” Masamune heard, although he couldn’t help wondering how human-sized chickens were breed. Meanwhile, a peacock next to him unraveled his tail, hiding his eyes playfully behind this fan of sorts. “ I? Nothing,” it giggled, fox ears appearing on it for a moment. “ He seemed to be tense.” Who were they talking about? Masamune couldn’t tell.
“ AAAAAAAAA!” Nobunaga squawked again, silencing people around. Whatever he said, it must have been very uplifting and inspiring, as Hideyoshi began to dramatically clap his wings, smacking Mitsunari (who, for some reason, exchanged his head for appropriately sized titmouse) straight in the face. The angel only smiled, though, a halo appearing around his head. “ Please, be careful, lord Hideyoshi”, he chirped. “ Mitsunari!” Hideyoshi bellowed. “ Lo...Lord... Lord Nobunaga wished us bon appetit! Bon appetit! We must appreciate such kindness!” “ Bon ape-tit?” “ Go to the corner and apprecia…!” “ Calm down or you’ll lay and egg,” Ieyasu scoffed. Oddly enough, he looked just like Ieyasu. Perhaps a slightly taller Ieyasu, though that could have been probably attributed to ostrich legs. Who knew? Regardless, his warning came too late, a sudden cacle resonating through the room as Hideyoshi began to shake. He reached behind his croup.  “ I am… A mother!” 
Masamune propped his forehead on his hands, gazing into the plate before him. The world began to spin. A kitten brushed against his arm. “ Are you okay?” it asked sweetly, its eyes seemingly begging for cuddles. “ I’m too sober for this.” “ You don’t even drink.” “ Maybe I should start...” Masamune trailed off, world fading to nothingness.
***
“ I am not acting like his mother!” Hideyoshi argued, his arms shaking in anger as he glared at Mitsuhide.
Masamune leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. Mai stroked his arm reassuringly, bending in hopes of getting a better look at his face. “ Are you okay?” she asked more out of habit than actually hoping for a coherent answer. “ Mhhmmmm,” he hummed, swaying lightly from side to side. “ He appears not to be drunk enough just yet,” Mitsuhide chuckled from the man’s other side and sipped on his beverage. “ You know he does not drink, you shouldn’t...” “ Maybe I should start...” Masamune suddenly cut her off, his head hitting the table a moment later. His breathing deepening, he drifted off into the land of dreams.
Tag list: @datenoriko​, @nad-zeta​, @tsubaki3192​, @choi-jiyu​, @missjudge-me​, @ikemencrossedmyth​, @plumpblueberry​, @i-sleep-like-napoleon​, @nimeryaa​, @nuttytani​, @thesirenwashere​, @milas-imaginarium​, @kisara-16​, @yukas-clover​, @alerialumina​ If you want to be tagged under my future works, let me know (any way works)! ^^ Also, if you have some preferences (for example: you’d rather not be tagged under some series, etc.), please, tell me. If you don’t want to be tagged anymore - please, do not feel bad about it, just say so :)  
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bucksbisexual · 5 years ago
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okay here goes my reaction to ep7+8 of where your eyes linger without subs,,,,, theres obviously spoilers after the cut so read at ur own will
episode 7
just gook and his milk and something about a fight being in the voiceover
oh shit taejoo isn't responding HE'S RUNNING THERE
is he in those sheets
OH HE'S CALLING TAEJOOS DAD
he called pilhyeon too???
OH SHIT HIS PHONE IS THERE AND BROKEN BUT WHERE IS TAEJOO
IS THAT ONE OF THE "BAD" GUYS WHO ARE FRIENDS WITH PILHYEON
???????????? DID HE DO IT ???????????? WAS GOOKS MIND RIGHT ABOUT HIM ??????????????
okay he didn't kick his ass so it looks like he didn't
OH HE JUST HIT HI MSJDHSKDMS
VROOM VROOM GOOK IS GOING SOMEWHERE
TAEJOO HI BABY
i understood kang gook and punch what-
HOLDUP DID HE JUST TELL HIS DAD THAT HE LIKES KANG GOOK
OH NO TAEJOOS PUPPY EYES WHEN THE GUARD SAID KANG GOOK WAS THERE
KANG GOOK BRO
GOOK VS EVERY SINGLE GUARD
THE VOICE OVER JUST SAID SARANG AAAAAAAAA WHAT DID HE SAY
AGAIN SARANG
gOOK U LOOK SO H*T BRO
WAIT THAT'S THE EPISODE?????
oh shit extra scene???
what even-
yall can't see me but I'm literally like this
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that was the epilogue holy fucking shit........... im scared for ep8 now
gooks hair on the thumbnail tho,,,,,,,,, my mans sexc
episode 8
bABY YOUUUUUUU ONEUL DARA NUNIBUSHYEO SENGAKCHIDO MODEUN SUNGAAAAAAAAAAN
half of that is wrong i know
he said let him in oh boi oh boi oh boiiiiiiii
am i the only one who HATES when older people talk like that in kdramas or-
taejoo can't watch oh my god this hurts
DID HE JUST SAY THAT GOOK SHOULD LEAVE????? OR IS MY KOREAN REALLY BAD
IS HE DEFENDING GOOK??????? OR IS HE SAVING BOTH OF THEIR ASSES??????????
OH WAIT
WAIT WHAT
hand holding and hugging KDFKDNFKSDNMD
im a weak woman and it looks like taejoo either saved both of their asses or he said fuck u dad im responsible enough to live by myself without ur help
HE SAID JOHAHAEEEEEEEEBTICJSSJDDJAKSJSKSKS
ENGLAND????? UH????????????
IS TAEJOO TELLING HIM TO NOT KISS HIM BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD IN HIS LIP I HATE HIM CKSJSJSJFMSSKKS
they're talking about dreams i think???? the closeups are Really close now which means Something Romantic And Intimate Is Happening
huh????????
something about looks/gazes ??? im guessing it was something like i gaze at u idk
is taejoo packing to go to england? :-(
HE IS
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THE VOICEOVER SAID BECAUSE I LIKE YOUBTICJDKAJSAKAJAKALENSKSLS
GOOK BABY :-((((((((((((
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE TOOK ONE OF GOOKS FIGURINES STODPSPDKDKSKDKDSKDJFKS
HE GAVE HIS HOUSE TO GOOK IN EXCHANGE OF HIM GOING TO ENGLAND??????????? I HATE IT HERE
back to the present (?)
gook is leaving the job ? or leaving to go home lol
HE'S GOING TO JAPAN??????????
WILL THERE BE A TAEJOOXGOOK REUNION IN JAPAN?????????
aw the mom gave him money
pilhyeon????
OH?????????????
they're in good terms now that's nice (?)
lmao pilhyeon just said something in japanese sjsjsjs
okay but the only times we see gook hug someone is when he hugs taejoo and he looks so comfortable in his arms :'(((((((
complete contrary to right now with these farewell hugs lmao
?????? WHAT IS HAPPENING LMAO
heemis mom straight up sobbing over gook leaving is a mood
TAEJOO?????????????????
oh it's not
goddamn it my ass was excited to see him be like WHERE'S GOOK I CAME BACK TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM
sam nyeonie omg bitch 3 years since taejoo left and this man still has a big fat crush on him
okay damn son u look way too good for just leaving like it's a trip ��👀👀👀
the scenery tho.. chef's kiss
oh?????
TAEJOO?????????????????????
BTIVHSKSDJSKSKSKS
THERE'S A LITERAL RAINBOW BEHIND HIM THIS SHIT IS GAY GAY
HE SAID HE LOOKS NICE DAMN RIGHT HE DOES
i think he just told him that the tteokbokki in japan is different bitch stfu they don't even have tteokbeokki in england 😭😭
SOMETHING ABOUT WISH WHICH IS RELATED TO THAT LAST NIGHT THEY SPENT TOGETHEE THREE YEARS AGO DON'T TPUCH ME DON'T YOUCH ME I'M A WEAK BITH WHEN IT COMES TO CHARACTERS REMEMBERING CUTE SHJT
OHHHHH THE PART FROM THE POSTER BABYYYY
BTJFIXJAKDISSKSOAODJSKSKSKSKSKSKDJSKSJDKSKSJDKSKSKADKDKSKSKSKS
KISSS KISS KSISSISISISISS AAAAAAAA FINALLY BTICHD
THEY'RE SMILING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
love how in that second kiss gook didn't even move his lips in kiss motion lmaosnfjksdjkskd
IT ENDED LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
i took a whole hour to watch two episodes......... they are 10 and 16 mins long.............. no comments
behind the scenes moments :'((((
:-(((((( i will miss these dumbasses a lot :-((((( what a cute but lovely (even if it was filled with angst) drama :-(((((((
honestly im just glad they actually kissed on camera instead of it being like teased and not actually done lol it's korean so i wouldn't doubt it if they did so because its lgbt and not """"family friendly""""
but yeah im really happy with this drama
of course i wish there was more of it but oh well
i hope korea does more lgbt kdramas because this one was so different from thai bls
and there's something about kdramas that would be sooooo nice to see in lgbt media
but yeah this is too long already and it's 11:17am and I still haven't slept so bYE
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toooldforfandom-liveblogs · 5 years ago
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RWBY V07E11 - Gravity
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I had to read my previous liveblog to remember what happened and the answer was "not a lot." There are two episodes left after this one and there's no way the fights that were about to start are going to last that long so I'm curious about the results even if not about the fights themselves.
What is team RWBY going to do while Ironwood and Qrow are busy? Is Neo going to steal the lamp? What about the staff? I wrote last episode that I thought Atlas wasn't going to crash since everyone was evacuating to the flying city, but the title worries me. I guess Amity Tower could crash? It does use Gravity Dust... I have no idea, so let's do this!
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Are we finally going to learn what the gun does? Is it the fabled gun-gun?
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Number of bullets?
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Ironwood _is_ a certified badass so it's cool to see him in action.
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Yeah, he's definitely counting down bullets. Or minutes are going down at the same rate as he's firing his gun.
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This is already more imaginative than the fight between the two maidens and the giant swords. Mostly comparing them because Watts is playing around with things that _look_ like magic, like gravity and those floating Hard Dust fields.
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Oh c'mon. Ironwood also losing his aura feels just a tiny bit forced.
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This is straight-up break up talk.
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...he was lying. Watts counted aloud just to mislead Ironwood. Welp.
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Nevermind! I overestimated Watts deviousness. I was going to write "Ironwood can just cut his arm off" but that's his "good" arm. Is he cold blooded enough to cut his flesh-y arm off to get free?
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AAAAAAAAA
he really is a badass
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Watts reaaaally miscalculated there. Not only because he misjudged Ironwood's will but also because he left him with his extra strong arm.
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That's a really good response.
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Aw, c'mon. I wanted to see the moral dilemma of letting him fall into the lava.
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HOLY SHIT that's amazing! I was thinking during the fight about how it was kinda boring that Robyn didn't have weird Hawkeye gadgets in her bolts and there you go.
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This really feels too easy. Both of those fights over so soon? Suspicious, really suspicious.
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And this is where all goes to crap. Cinder or Neo? I'm thinking... Cinder. Neo is probably stealing the other relic.
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Aaaaa, what did James see!? I thought it'd be one of the two, but maybe they just messed around his office to make him suspicious enough to call Winter. Or it was Neo who called Winter.
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His paranoia really makes me think he _is_ James.
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It's funny that James thinks so highly of Salem when it was mostly a coincidence how everything ended up working for her.
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Ruby gets it.
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Oh.
Oh no. Ironwood _did_ turn over slightly too easy but I didn't expect him to turn against RWBY.
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I _love_ this. Maybe I was underestimating the show but I didn't expect that detail to matter anymore. I was too laser focused in what seemed to be the ending conflict to think about how it could come back (I even wrote at the time how it would play up Ironwood's paranoia!)
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Welp, Salem has been listening.
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"The hearts of men are easily swayed"
Salem and her Grimm are dangerous but I forgot the most dangerous thing about her.
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WHAT
THE
FUCK
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...what, what is going on!?
This volume just got a lot more interesting to me.
Did Ruby _see_ Summer die and she blocked it? Why were her silver eyes reacting if she was in emotional pain?
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Yup, totally expected reaction.
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WHAT
I feel like I wrote about this possibly happening but I can't remember if it was here or on the discord. Is Winter really going to kill that old woman or is she going to try and save her? She seemed pretty committed to following Ironwood to hell if necessary.
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Nooo, Weiss. Poor girl, seeing the one man he trusted in Atlas turn his back.
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HOLY CRAP.
I skipped writing a caption for every screenshot I wanted to take during that final confrontation because they would all be variations of the above.
This is amazing. I mean... it's pretty bad, but it's such a good turn for the story!
I was feeling a bit disappointed about this volume because it felt like all the story hooks were solved really soon: they told the truth, everyone goes against Salem mooks, they win, maybe someone dies but zero surprises along the way. I thought this episode was going to be just fights and maybe some running around but in the end the most important scene was a conversation, and it was great.
What just happened opens a _ton_ of possibilities.
Some random thoughts since I'm too keyed up to write properly:
* Is Clover going to betray Ironwood? I'm guessing yes, he always seemed to respect Robyn on a deeper level. But Qrow vs Clover does have some interesting drama potential so...
* Harriet's comment about "not confusing the two" finally gets all the weight it deserves.
* Ironwood's plan is not _bad_, it's probably their best bet if they can really fly that high, it's just cold blooded in its execution. Like most of his plans I guess. Although we don't know how high the Salem's monkeys can fly.
* Cinder seems to be going for the Maiden (a Winter / Cinder fight? Yes please. But please skip the giant swords)
* Although, that'd require Winter killing someone innocent which I doubt Weiss would forgive. Is she going to try and stop her sister? Yang and Raven style?
* Did Neo try and get Oscar to give her the relic while disguised and failed? I really want to see _that_ scene.
* I'm really interested in Ren's reaction to this. He was looking pretty lost at the end.
* I'm going to break something if Penny gets overridden to fight RWBY. That damn blinking "power" button in her ribbon haunts me, along with Ironwood's comment about how he was in complete control. Is Penny going to try and stop Winter? If they do, her friendly chat earlier in the season really will confirm that nothing nice happens "just because" in RWBY. It's all to increase later suffering.
And finally, most interesting of all, what happened to Ruby? It really looks like she saw Summer die or at the very minimum saw her leave, and blocked the memory (she was very young though so it may be just that) Was her shock the only reason why she seemed to lose control of her silver eyes or was it something Salem was doing? Or something in her memories? AAAAAAAAA. The worst thing about it is that it feels like a multi-season mystery so there's no way we're getting the answers any time soon.
What a great episode, it completely caught me by surprise how much I liked it! Until next time!
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the-yerkes-dodson-curve · 6 years ago
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SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THE NEW SANDERS SIDES VIDEO
This is gonna be a long post. I have a lot of thoughts about this episode. There is going to be some serious talk about my own personal experiences with violent intrusive thoughts and also me just appreciating this amazing episode. 
I was one of the people that was convinced it was going to be about depression. I am so glad it wasn’t. A lot of people have talked about depression, but no one, at least as far as I know, have really touched upon intrusive thoughts. I had the exact same dilemma as Thomas last year where I thought I was going insane because I couldn’t control my own brain and I had a horrible mental breakdown and I was convinced I was a horrible person because of my intrusive thoughts. I cried and talked to people about it and through doing so it was made clear to me that these intrusive thoughts were just that, thoughts. Nothing more. They hold nothing over me. I still suffer from them, but now I know what they are.
I was also certain there wasn’t going to be another side introduced. It’s been a year since Deceit was introduced, we’ve only just gotten to know Deceit a little better, there won’t be another side. BOY WAS I WRONG
The episode starts with Thomas, Virgil and Patton trying not to think about the intrusive thoughts he was having that kept him awake. I have intrusive thoughts like that all the time. I vividly imagine my family members dying, or even myself dying. I vividly imagine someone breaking into the house and killing me. My brain does what Virgil and Patton do, freak out and try to think about something else. This video has made me realise how much I repress thoughts like that.
My anxiety also makes me have intrusive thoughts. Whenever I have an anxiety attack I vividly imagine myself killing myself in gory detail because I’ve gotten into this cycle of hating myself whenever I have an attack. I get scared, what if I lose control one day and these thoughts become reality?
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I love how the audio became muffled and the intrusive thought creeped in. I like to think of the mind like a radio, tuning in and out of different frequencies, and sometimes, or most of the time like for me, you can’t control the frequencies it jumps to. And suddenly you’re imagining your loved one being killed or dying.
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I SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER WHEN THOSE HANDS CREEPED OUT
I WAS NOT EXPECTING A NEW SIDE AT ALL
I WAS SO TERRIFIED
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HOLY SHIT THAT CHARACTER DESIGN I AM IN LOVE STRAIGHT AWAY 
BUT AAAAAAAA WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT THE HELL
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When he smacked Roman in the head and knocked him out I was so shook, this Sanders Sides has stepped into totally new territory
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LOOK AT HIM OMG HE HAS A MOUSTACHE I WASN’T EXPECTING A NEW SIDE TO HAVE FACIAL HAIR HOLY SHIT 
THE DUKE
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HIS VOICE
HE HAS A DIFFERENT VOICE
THERE IS NO ENDING TO THOMAS’ TALENT
The way the song starts is eVeRyThInG
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THESE EFFECTS I CAN’T DEAL AAAAAAAAA
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I FUCKING SCREAMED
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HIS SIX ARMS I LOVE IT REMUS’ SASSY STANCE I AM LIVING FOR IT
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If you shared those musings with your friends, I doubt they would forgive you.
Gosh. I relate to this too much. I was so scared that I would somehow reveal these bad thoughts to people and they would hate me and everyone would hate me and think I was an awful person.
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Even though everybody sins, everybody dies.
FAVOURITE PART OF THE SONG HANDS DOWN THOMAS’ VOICE IS AMAZING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Why deny yourself knowledge, say, knowledge of yourself!
These lyrics are amazing. They encapsulating what I was thinking when I had really bad intrusive thoughts. I still have them, but when I first started noticing I had them I spiralled so far down. “What if this is who I am...what if I’m not the nice person I think I am?”
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hELP I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM BUT I LOVE HIM
I always love the villain. I hate everything they’ve done and don’t condone any of it, but I absolutely love them, especially if they are as fabulous as the Duke Remus.
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These sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man whose soul is truly rotten.
Oof. I relate to that thought process.
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So let all your hopes of heaven be forgotten, ‘cause your head’s not in the gutter, pal, it’s in hell!
I wasn’t expecting religious imagery. I really love that. I don’t relate to the religious ideas brought up in this episode as I am not religious, but I do love the fact that he talked about them. Also, when Deceit said, “Wow, Thomas, it seems that your moral compass is pointed south, towards hell!” that was definitely foreshadowing for Thomas to spiral into this. That’s why Patton reacted so viscerally to that comment.
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Remus: Juicy butthole!
Me:
Me:
Me: what...what is happening in this Sanders Sides
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THIS FACE I LOVE IT
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THE JAZZ HANDS AND THE HIGH VOICE AAAAAA WHY DO I LOVE HIM AND HATE HIM
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Patton did a real good job!
Oh my goodness, this precious boi.
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How about...DEMENTED?
I  C H O K E D
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What is my deal? Um, bitch? What is YOUR deal?
My exact thought process. “Am I actually a horrible person because I’m having such awful thoughts like this, there’s definitely something wrong with me...but I can’t stop it...”
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Oh no....oh no!
My heart broke at the horror and sadness that washes over Thomas’ and Patton’s face.
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another good remus screenshot
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Oh my goodness, the way he tortures Logan throughout the episode was awful for me to watch cause MY BABY LOGAN, but I love how Logan doesn’t react. I love Logan’s determination.
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You bastard.
IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING HELL YES VIRGIL
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I’d love to see the bloopers for this bit, oh my gosh.
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Ooh! How fun! You know who could help us with that?
AWW MAN YOU GOT MY HOPES UP XDD
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That’s what repression is!?
I love Patton’s reaction, cause I had the same reaction. Repression is so easy to do cause you often don’t know you are doing it.
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This is not about me wanting to be listened to. You all are not listening to Thomas.
THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OH MY GOSH
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Virgil: But what if he’s lying?
Logan: I can assure you, he’s not. You’re just para- expressing an unhealthy amount of concern. Thank you for being on guard. But for now, you must listen.
I love this part so much. It calls back to when Roman almost called Virgil paranoid, but then switched it to vigilant. Logan realised he was getting too worked up and angry and so stopped himself. This is great development from when he lashed out at Roman in Learning New Things About Ourselves. Calling Virgil “paranoid” is destructive and will make Virgil not feel listened to. He is aware of that. He is making sure Virgil still feels like he’s a valued part of Thomas’ mind.
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another good remus screenshot
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THAT IS WHY I SAY IT!
GOSH I LOVE LOGAN SO MUCH YES LOGAN GO OFF
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I love being given two d’s at once!
Me:
Me:
Me: ...again what is happening
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When Logan revealed that the problem was within Patton and Virgil, my heart dropped. I wasn’t expecting that.
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Record scratch!?
I LOVE HIM AAAAA
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WHAT DOES THAT MEAN AM I COOL DOES THIS MAKE ME COOL
OMG PRECIOUS BOI AAAA
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I WAS SO SHOOK WHEN HE SAID HIS NAME JUST LIKE THAT
ALSO THAT SLY DIG AT VIRGIL AAAAA
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oof. this sad boi. :”(
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Oh shut up, Nerdy Wolverine!
OMG I JUST REALISED THIS IS WHAT ROMAN SAYS AT THE END AAAAA
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I  S C R E A M E D
we just witnessed a side die guys
the angst fanfiction is coming to life
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The Duke only has power over you because Virgil and Patton believe that he does.
Hit me hard. I’ve never related more to a Sanders Sides episode.
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This. THIS. So poignant and brilliant! This is how it feels!
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good logan screenshot
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Virgil was right. Not all thoughts are meaningful.
This idea is what helped me better deal with intrusive thoughts. Your brain just fires random thoughts at you, they don’t necessarily mean anything.
I mean, look at him now! He barely got any rest due in large part to you two chastising him all night!
I love how Logan tells them off. UGH I LOVE HIM
And that is why the Duke feels like such a threat, in part, at least. The feeling that you may be a bad person who doesn’t have control over yourself or your destiny, causes you to fear that you may actually act on these thoughts.
Gosh this episode is hitting me hard. 
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It’s okay.
Everything is okay.
Logan’s soft voice as he said that made me emotional. His whole speech here is so lovely and helpful. It is okay to have these thoughts cross your mind. You are not a horrible person.
His talk about going to therapy is amazing too. It’s so inspiring. It has encouraged me to want to go back to the therapy because of my recent increase in violent intrusive thoughts.
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Oh my goodness, Patton’s realisation and development. This is lovely. 
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You tickle me, emo!
...was that a tickle me elmo reference
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Good seeing you again, Virgil! It was just like old times!
Me:
Me:
Me: wAIT A MINUTE--
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Oh shut up, Nerdy Wolverine! NO! Ugh...I mean...I’m sorry, Logan. I didn’t mean that.
THERE’S SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN THIS EPISODE I CAN’T DEAL
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Thomas: You’re really...cool.
Logan: ...heh.
Me: ACTUALLY SOBBING
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THESE TWIN BROTHERS OH MY GOODNESS YES
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It shows you...everything you don’t want to be.
There are some really hard hitting lines in this episode.
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I’m a little disappointed in myself.
The others. I thought I knew how to handle them.
Yeah, but, I should know better.
Because I was one of them.
Virgil being insecure about his power and how much he can protect Thomas almost makes me cry. That last line...oh my goodness. Thomas and his team really know how to write a narrative. It seems that we’re gonna get some lore and backstory at some point after all.
Thomas and his team have done such a good job with this episode. It is my favourite Sanders Sides by far because of the fact that this topic has not really been talked about much, and they talked about it and showed what it’s like so brilliantly. I respect Thomas so much for pushing the boundaries of his channel to talk about this. Thank you, Thomas. I and and so many people needed this.
I realise that I need to go back to therapy. Thank you, Logan for encouraging me.
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ca-3 · 6 years ago
Note
Just a random question but do you have any SakuMahi hc to maybe share?
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oh man, where do I even start…? I have so many random hcs and aus and all that. SakuMahi is my Special Interest™ 😂 But I’ll just go with the canonverse based ones!
HEADS UP I MIGHT BE PUTTING SOME MANGA SPOILERS HERE! 
So I think it’s a common belief with many SakuMahi fans that Sakuya developed feelings for Mahiru almost right away. You know, the whole “Just from that simple outstretched hand and his voice, I thought… ‘Oh, I want to be this guy’s friend.” But to me? I don’t think Sakuya truly realized his feelings for Mahiru until after the rooftop scene.
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The reason why I think that is all based on how Sakuya’s life has been up until now. We all know, Sakuya growing up in a abusive home and losing the last person he loved(his older sister) at a young age. Sakuya probably hasn’t known much love, care and especially trust for a very long time. (He has Tsubaki now yes. But like I said once before, Tsubaki may care about his subclass like his own family, it’s one of the things I like about Tsubaki. But he isn’t exactly the best role model for Sakuya either unfortunately….)
 It also doesn’t seem like Sakuya had many other friends growing up as far as we know. ;; (I imagined Sakuya was much more shyer and submissive as a human.)  So I think Sakuya didn’t actually truly understand his feelings until this point ^^^^^ Just seeing how much Mahiru would still call him a friend and even risk his life here, after all the horrible things he did and even said just to get Mahiru to hate him and so it would be easier to let him go. Like it’s no wonder he cried twice. It was probably the first time Sakuya has shown his vulnerable side to someone in a long time, at least that’s what I believe AAAAAAAAA
That whole wrist band scene? You know. The part they didn’t have to make super gay but they totally did lol 
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My headcanon for that is that Sakuya picked out the black and white one with stripes on purpose. Cause its similar to his striped shirts he wears almost all the time. So I bet he did that so Mahiru would think of him whenever he see it.❤ I know its cheesy but I like this one ahahaha
Many think Sakuya’s “class clown” personality was all fake or just solely made up because he was afraid Mahiru wouldn’t like his real personality… But honestly? I think Mahiru just naturally brings out that happy/goofy side in Sakuya!!! 💚💚💚 Cause there are quite a few times where Sakuya is shown to be that happy or goofy. Even if it’s only around Mahiru. Sakuya showed Mahiru his real smile already too. ;w; and Sakuya has shown that kind of smile and happiness just thinking about the mere memories of Mahiru. JUST THE WAY SAKUYA SMILES WITH MAHIRU. IT KILLS ME. Plus, the other many many official arts where Sakuya is only smiling cause he’s next to Mahiru? I don’t know I think Strike is trying to tell us something lol 
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also as for the acting silly thing it’s mostly in the bonuses, drama cds, and even OVAs but Sakuya is always grouchy or calm around most others but only as soon as Mahiru is around he’s talking and acting like this: WHICH IS MY FAVORITE THING. I JUST LOVE HOW HAPPY MAHIRU MAKES SAKUYA FEEL. KJKFJLASJAJKLSJFA 
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just ignores everyone else and Tsubaki yelling at him to run up to Mahiru. 😂 Also he basically asked Mahiru to run away with him here lolol
This scene also give me a slight hc that Sakuya likes to dance… or at least wishes to dance with Mahiru someday… but I guess in this case it was sing with Mahiru cause he thinks they should run off and start a band lmao 
This is more of a personal story thought rather than a total ship headcanon but it has to do with Sakuya and Mahiru. It’s about Sakuya’s conflicted loyalty between Tsubaki and Mahiru. I get why Sakuya is conflicted between the two but… it’s kind of ridiculous because of all obvious hints that Sakuyu favors Mahiru’s side. Sakuya has always been silently rooting for Mahiru to win. SAKUYA HAS STRAIGHT UP “BETRAYED” HIS OWN SIDE MULTIPLE TIMES FOR MAHIRU’S SAKE. 
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JUST. SAKUYA COME ON. I THINK WE KNOW WHAT SIDE OF THIS “WAR” YOU’RE ACTUALLY FAVORING HERE. I love Sakuya a lot, but so much of his character is indeed super frustrating for this reason.
Sakuya’s obvious choice should be Mahiru. In fact, Sakuya shouldn’t even have to feel like he has to choose? Because Mahiru’s goal isn’t to even kill Tsubaki, but rather stop him and talk to him to help fix the broken Servamp family. Tsubaki even said, that no matter who betrays him on Team Melancholy he wouldn’t betray them. 
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Honestly, I think if Tsubaki truly cared about his subclass… if he just saw how much Sakuya stood by Mahiru and how they both just want this to all stop… maybe it would help change Tsubaki’s mind? That’s a hope. But I think Sakuya has a hard time choosing because even he doesn’t know what Tsubaki is up to. “Tsubaki-san is searching, but he still doesn’t know what the key is. It might be revenge. It might be something even more terrifying.“, “The War is a way to find the key.” “…What is he looking for?” 
All Sakuya knows is that Tsubaki is “searching” for something and this war is just his round about way of finding it. I think… Sakuya is afraid of what the answer will be… or Sakuya might be worried that if he does join the side with Mahiru, it’ll put him in even more danger than he’s already in. He doesn’t know how Tsubaki would truly feel or react, or even worse the rest of Team Melancholy not taking too kindly to his decision either. 
 Tsubaki told his subclass to go free now. Why did Sakuya run away and follow Tsubaki? Could be because he’s too afraid to face Mahiru again after all that’s happened… or maybe he’s afraid of what Tsubaki is planning to do by himself.
Am I saying Sakuya might be doing that to indirectly protect Mahiru? I don’t know, it’s just a small maybe. But Sakuya also might just think he doesn’t deserve to be around Mahiru at all. ;w; So that’s why he continues to run. 
If Sakuya does ever join the Servamp Team, I’d like to imagine that he starts out just kinda always lingering around Mahiru the whole time. Mostly because he’s anti-social anyways 😂 and Mahiru is the only one he truly knows there. But also cause he feels like the others won’t accept him as easily. He did attack quite a few of them bother whether it was orders or not.  But I know for a fact Mahiru would encourage Sakuya to open up to others and make friends who aren’t just him. FFF Now Sakuya and Misono can be friends like Mahiru orignally wanted. “Now you can finally apologize to Misono!” “You aren’t going to make this easy, are you?” FFFFFFFFFFFF
For real, that’s part of the reason I love SakuMahi so much. Because of how good of an influence Mahiru would be on Sakuya. Doesn’t matter if it’s in a romantic or platonic sense for me. Mahiru wouldn’t let Sakuya be only attached to him. Mahiru would want Sakuya to learn to let others in. He would want Sakuya to know that him and Tsubaki are not all he has. That he can make his own decisions and that he is free now. He doesn’t have to worry about being hurt like that again…
Imagining them actually slowly getting into a relationship is really cute~ but I feel like Sakuya would be a nervous wreck all the time at first. Just “Oh god… this is actually happening now… what do I do?” Remembers the iconic “Sakkun” moment. If Sakuya can’t even handle Mahiru calling him a simple cute nickname how could Sakuya ever initiate a first kiss or anything like that? It would definitely take Sakuya some time to get used to being loved in such a way and being comfortable enough to even kiss Mahiru back. 😂 Mahiru being “well if you won’t do it I will!” probably 85% of the time.
hdhkasljdaf I could write so many more here but this post is long enough already. Maybe I’ll add more later. Or if anyone is ever curious again I’ll share more. lol 
Thanks for asking, I love asks about them~ 💚❤💚❤💚
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