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naivesilver · 3 years

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top 5 adaptations of the Fairy from Pinocchio? (or maybe top 5 best AND 5 worst?)

I spent so long staring at this and wondering if I even KNEW five good Fairies, but it turns out I do, albeit mostly for asinine reasons. Anyway AHFAKKJKFHAHJKJA thank you <3

Ask me my top 5 anything

Obviously under the cut because I couldn't resist and did BOTH

The salt AKA the worst of the worst first:

1) Piccolino No Bouken

Surprised? I suppose most would have expected me to put the Disney Fairy first, and I did, too, for a while, but as I was sitting in my car pondering this ranking I realized I was SEETHING with rage about this one, so I had to rearrange things a bit. This, guys, is where my Fairy hate begins - not the book, not the Mouse's interference. This woman.

I hate her. I hate her SO MUCH, for all that I love this adaptation more than most things in the world, and that the choices made about her characterization were a huge inspiration for me. Not only does she not send Pinocchio to school, instead teaching him on her own, she is the only one to actively keep Pinocchio from his father - indeed, she makes the choice for them, saying to Geppetto's face that it would be best for the boy to be taught something before he goes back home. Who the hell are you to make this call, uh? You have known him for a day at most! You left him hanging from a fucking tree all night! I wouldn't trust you with a bloody lapdog, nevermind a child!

Also she lets Pinocchio believe she's dead UNTIL THE VERY END. She turns into a bird while he cries at her tomb. Are we fucking serious now? Leave him alone.

(Yes, this is elementary school me howling for revenge. I've been mad about this longer than reason would let me. Sue me.)

2) Disney's Pinocchio

Bane of my existence. I don't know if anyone remembers that pic of me at the Pinocchio theme park I posted a while ago, but basically in that moment they were putting up a little show to tell children a little bit of the OG story, and they asked the audience if they knew what color the Fairy's hair was - a few said blonde, and I, being on stage next to her, distinctly heard her mutter "dammit, Disney". I've been living with that mantra since then.

Nobody asked you to make that puppet sentient, ma'am. He doesn't owe you shit. Aside from that, just like Jiminy Cricket, she ruined her character in a good two thirds of future adaptation. And while we're speaking of Jiminy, WHY did she think it would be a good idea to entrust a little boy to a slime ball such as him? He's too horny to have an ounce of sense. Conscience, my ass.

Basically...begone, asshole.

3) Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night

This film is so horrible, the Fairy had no chance to be decent at all. A cheap copy of the Disney one, with the addendum that she turns MULTIPLE toys into living beings while holding them responsible for whatever they do after. Basically Victor Frankenstein, but make it a poorly dressed woman from a direct-to-TV movie that shouldn't have existed at all.

-100/10, at least you're pretty, but by God, SHUT UP.

4) Once Upon a Time

Honest to God if she doesn't keep her filthy hands off my faves she's gonna get a slap across the face so strong her Wish Realm self ought to feel it sting. I am not exaggerating.

Seven seasons in, she hasn't done ANYTHING useful that I can remember. She's not even good at her own fucking job! Not only that, she's traumatized and guilt-tripped a good chunk of the population of Storybrooke, including first and foremost my beloved son August. The Pavlovian reaction I had every time she appeared on screen can't be described in coherent words, only in eagle screeches.

She's wrong. On principle, she's wrong. Let's move on.

5) Luigi Comencini's Le Avventure di Pinocchio

Doesn't rank higher only because she's played by Gina Lollobrigida (my beloved). She's book accurate, which means she'd be annoying as fuck as it is, but what little they added only makes her worse.

She has the gall to tell Pinocchio she'd like to see him happier. Like, apart from the fact that the ghost of his father's deceased wife isn't exactly the most reassuring person to hear it from...Said father has been swallowed by a giant fish. You told that boy he's only going to see his father if he studies hard. You keep turning him into a puppet anytime he misbehaves. What did you expect, that he would do the Macarena every time he entered your house? I am honestly too shocked to say any more. What the fuck.

Okay, I've been enraged enough for a single night. Let's move onto brighter shores!

1) Enzo D'Alò's Pinocchio

Enzo D'Alò knows what the fuck is UP!!! The only one with the courage to let the Fairy be a weird little girl - not only for a short time, but up until the end of the movie! That takes guts! Balls of steel!

I've said before that this movie has nothing memorable to it, and it's true, but also...Pinocchio wanted a sister so bad, and the movie gave him one. And they even explained the plot hole of the medallion with Pinocchio's face in it! That's twice as good as the fact that they cut out the most awful parts of her story, which is already delightful.

Thank you, Mr D'Alò. You have my trust until the end of days.

2) The Adventures of Buratino

Speaking of weird girls, this one is officially balls to the walls enough to gain my respect. She's bothersome to Pinocchio, but she's bothersome to everyone and everything, so I'll let it pass. Her role is exclusively to appear out of nowhere and do batshit insane stuff for no good reason at all. A star.

Plus, other than having an handwashing obsession that I've felt very keenly in the past year and a half, she also has a boyfriend - her and Pierrot are the original girlboss and malewife, I'm not accepting any criticism on the matter.

(Fun fact: when I was a young kid I once dreamt that the Piccolino No Bouken Fairy was dating a big, buff and blonde farmhand. He wooed her by gifting Pinocchio a dog. Apparently I've always been very interested in Fairies getting a love life and staying the fuck away from my specialest little boy.)

3) Pinocchio miniseries

"Serena, but you said you were disappointed in this adaptation so many times!" True. But consider: I am also very, very queer, and Violante Placido being motherly and wearing wispy dresses stirred SOMETHING in 11yo me that I can't very well ignore.

In hindsight, she and the Cricket probably had something going on behind the scenes, which is a shame. Miss Fairy, I swear, you could do better than Luciana Littizzetto in an ill-fitting green suit. She's gonna break your heart and lose your puppet charge in a crowd of little idiots. Do me instead.

4) Pinocchio Vampire Slayer

This woman kills monsters - and she's damn good at it! Honestly, so badass, and such a good mother figure too, even in trying times. I don't want to spoil the comic much to those who haven't read it, but she and Cherry are the highlight of the first volume and I am very fond of them. A+.

5) Matteo Garrone's Pinocchio

This one's book accurate, too, but Garrone did something with her that almost burst in tears in a crowded theater. She's awful, and irritating, but she's...she's so human, too. I can't rage against a Fairy that's so impossibly human even during the smallest of scenes. It breaks me over and over again.

Look at her SMILING, for pity's sake, am I supposed to think there's some warmth in the dead lady? Fuck you, Matteo, what did you do to me? I am an honored Fairy hater. You're going to ruin my reputation if you keep this up.

#ask meme #bewilderemoth #pinocchio #the tag needed some more bullshit from yours truly didn't it

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eresplanta · 4 years

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Warm Earth Music for All

Everyone’s got their quirks when it comes to being a plant parent. I like to throw in miniature plastic toys right on top of my plants’ soil to for scenic pleasure. My beloved fly trap was at once transformed into a towering green stalk among a squabble of equally carnivorous prehistoric creatures, while my fern became home to a toilet with a threatening aura (a mini plastic one of course). Others might have a leaf massaging ritual or maybe feed their plants coffee grounds among other quirks that vary in practicality. Whether or not these acts hold any measurable value for you or your plant, they carry the most value in a deeply personal sense. The same can be said for music, whose performativity grants it the power to “contribute heavily (if surreptitiously) to the shaping of individual identities […]. [It] teaches us how to explore our own emotions, our own desires, and even (especially in dance) our own bodies” (McClary, 53).

The early to mid-70’s were a big era if you were a plant. The Secret Life of Plants was published in 1973 and in just a year it became one of the New York Times bestsellers. This book by Peter Tompkins and Christopher Bird is a scientific exploration of the sentient capabilities of plants. It’s famously known for originating the claim that all plants are music critics whose growth capabilities increased if you played the right kind of tunes. Even though The Secret Life of Plants has since been regarded as pseudoscience for hippies, plant loving was on the public consciousness as indoor woodgrain hellscapes were now populated by splashes of green.

Among other musicians, Mort Garson was inspired by the botanical boom and as a result the public was quietly gifted with his 1976 cult classic, Mother Earth’s Plantasia. Plantasia is an ambient electronic album that contains ten songs that were specially composed and then played on a Moog just for plants. The album’s subtitle says it all: “warm earth music for plants… and the people who love them”. It even came with a booklet containing poetic descriptions of each song as well as a plant remedy chart. Much like the plants I neglected at college after being under my dad’s care back home, the album was a flop upon release. This of course was due to Mort marketing his work exactly like an artist would. This album was bundled for consumers in two ways: either you got it with any houseplant of your choosing at the Mother Earth plant shop in Los Angeles, or you got it with your Simmons mattress at a Sears outlet.

In the decades following its release, the album grew to become a favorite in niche circles found on Discogs and YouTube. People are drawn by its kitsch in the way it was intended for plants, but upon listening to it they are drifted into a 30-minute trip to a sonic atmosphere that carries a bit of grandeur while also blanketing its audience in a welcoming caress of warmth. It creates a sense of nostalgia for the days I wasn’t alive for. The days where the world was enthralled with wanting to be more in tune with our fellow organisms on this dirt ball of an Earth.

The album’s introductory track “Plantasia” creates a musical conversation between its electronic renditions of harp and brass, and the theremin-esque whistle that plays throughout. I interpret this as a unification between the familiar human language of musical symphony and the unfamiliar plant language represented by the theremin. This track creates a universally-understood conversation of care by uniting plants and humans through music that they can both comprehend (if they believe).

I am shamelessly enamored by early electronic music, though quite frankly it is a toss of the coin whether a song may be an ethereal and otherworldly composition of sound or just MIDI clown music. At the base of it all, early electronic music is encompassed by a sense of wonder – early pieces of this genre aren’t made with monetary gain in mind, they were simply made to explore the possibilities of sound technology. And I love that. Plantasia speaks to the performative abilities that music holds, not only in the way that it drove its composer to never-before-reached corners of creativity in music and connectivity with fellow organisms, but how it has driven people to do just the same. Sure, the science has been proven wrong, but there is something to be said about the number of people who still play this album for their plants (and for themselves). Sources: Sacred Bones Records – Mother Earth’s Plantasia NPR – “Music For Plants Is Real (Even If The Science Isn’t)” Dazed – “The strange story of Mort Garson’s magical album Plantasia” Susan McClary, “Sexual Politics in Classical Music”

#Plantasia #Mort Garson #Mother Earth's Plantasia

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britesparc · 4 years

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Weekend Top Ten #442

Top Ten Transformers Gimmicks

There was a time when I felt that this blog was pretty much wall-to-wall Robots in Disguise. Seems I couldn’t go more than two or three weeks without some list or another ranking my favourite Autobots, Decepticons, issues of the Marvel UK comic, issues of the IDW comic, my favourite artists, my favourite alternate modes, my favourite ways Optimus Prime came back from the dead… basically, what I’m saying is I used to write about Transformers quite a lot.

Recently, though? The last year or two? Not so much in the way of sentient mechanoids round these parts. I think partly this is a result of the ending of the original IDW continuity; whilst the rebooted Transformers comic is good, I must confess it hasn’t grabbed me the way the (for want of a better term) More Than Meets the Eye era did. I don’t think it possibly could; the interweaving continuity, the shared universe, the multi-layered world-building and puzzle-box writing, all combined to form a perfect storm around my most beloved of franchises. Did it go too deep, too dense? Occasionally. Did it end too soon, rushing into a climactic conclusion without the room to allow every plot twist and character death to sufficiently breathe? Yeah, a little. But on the whole it stuck the landing, not too shabby a feat for a galaxy-spanning epic that, under various creators, had managed to tell a more-or-less consistent story (papering over the cracks of several soft reboots) for over a decade at that point. As I’ve written before, I loved that Transformers so hard, it was almost inevitable that whatever came next would suffer by comparison, because by definition it could no longer be my Transformers.

So, yeah, that’s one reason. But another is, it’s been harder to think of things to write about. I’ve talked about favourite characters and stories; where else do I go but the increasingly obscure? However, I wanted to give it a try. Last weekend should have been TF Nation, the delightful Transformers convention held each year in Birmingham. I usually go; I gave last year a miss, but I’d been fully intending to make the trip again this year. And then 2020 happened, being all 2020 in our faces. This is a weekend where I might have shared my favourite moments from TFN! Pictures of cosplay! Of friends and creatives I admire! Of toys I can’t afford! But no; instead I’m watching my wife play Stardew Valley and writing this blog (which, I’ll be honest, is actually quite a pleasant way to spend the time, but let’s not get too deep into the weeds over here). Anyway, to celebrate TF Nation, and the stay-at-home “Big Broadcast of 2020” online show that they put on, I’m returning to the Nucleon Well once again with another Transformers-themed Top Ten.

This week: my favourite Transformers toy gimmicks!

Transformers, of course, are cars and whatnot that turn into robots or what-have-you, but across the years Hasbro has experimented with different modes and features to keep the toys fresh and unique, and also to sell a bunch of new ones to impressionable kids. Some of these are sublime; some, frankly, ridiculous. So this week I will explore my ten favourite ones; my ten favourite sub-brands of the franchise, so to speak. Some of these I think are genuinely fantastic as a concept; some, I just liked because it seemed cool, or was made cool by the fiction; and some are just daft crap that I enjoy. Make of it what you will! I’ve decided, incidentally, to focus on “gimmicks” here as being different modes of transformation, or other associated features, rather than define them by what they turn into. So there are no Insecticons or Dinobots, because whilst bugs and beasts are cool, really those are both normal types of Transformer that turn from one thing into another thing. Make sense?

Good. Now roll the eff out.

Combiners (1985): what’s better than one robot? How about, like, five or six, and they all clip together to form another massive robot? Clipping machines together to make bigger machines seems like a cornerstone of any sufficiently advanced civilisation, and whether we’re talking the complexity of OG combiner Devastator, the hot-swappable fun of the likes of the Aerialbots or Stunticons, or even Dreadwind and Darkwing combining in vehicle mode to form Dreadwing, it’s always great. Plus it makes you want to buy all the toys so you can make the big robot! Everyone’s a winner!

Headmasters (1987): robots whose heads – get this – come off and turn into little robots. What’s not to love? And the little robots (what are the heads) then can sit inside the big robots’ vehicle modes, and, like “drive” them and stuff. Although they had some plot gymnastics to perform to make sense of the fiction (quite why the heads had to be Nebulons and not just other Transformers I don’t know), but as a toy gimmick, they were fab. And that’s before you get to most-wanted Fortress Maximus, whose head turned into a robot whose head turned into a robot.

Pretenders (1988): man, I loved Pretenders, even if the concept outstripped the toys a lot of the time. Basically humanoid shells that hide Transformers, later iterations also allowed for animal shells, vehicle shells, even transforming shells; we got new versions of classic Transformers, and one of the all-time great villains in Thunderwing. All this despite the first lot of toys being bulky and awkward, and the whole idea of “disguising yourself as a thirty-foot human” being somewhat suspect in the first place.

Triple (and more!) Changers (1985): if a robot turning into a thing is cool, then turning into two things must be twice as cool, right? Right! Boggling the mind as to how this chunky figure could also be a car and a helicopter, Triple Changers were great, even if you ended up with a helicopter that really, really looked a lot like a car. Of course, they got bigger and better, with Six Changers, who turned into six different things that all looked a lot like each other.

Powermasters (1988): back to the “Masters” concept of little robots that interact with bigger robots (it’s such a shame Pretenders couldn’t have been “Disguise Masters” or something), the idea that the toys transformation – the big gimmick behind the whole range, remember – is unlocked by an “engine” robot is very cool, the smaller toy acting as a key. A tad clunkier than that, in real life, but still great fun, and of course it brought us one of the best toys of the eighties in Powermaster Optimus Prime.

Targetmasters (1987): robots turning into guns is quite cool, but for me the Targetmasters aren’t quite as successful as their other “Masters” siblings, probably because the guns aren’t quite that exciting to transform or play with. But the concept still rocks, and some of the toys were really good, and it was nice to see the Movie characters get folded into the line too.

Jumpstarters (1985): I loved the original Jumpstarters (Top Spin and Twintwist) because they were weird, with their sci-fi alien designs amidst a sea of Earth vehicles. But their gimmick was they transformed themselves. Pull ‘em back and they jump – literally – from vehicle to robot. Self-transforming Transformers are always cool, even if usually it means that their robot modes end up blocky and simple (Jumpstarters are the opposite, pretty cool robots with chunky and unreal vehicles). Also want to shout out other pull-back-and-go Transformers such as the Battlechargers (never had them, sadly) and the utterly, utterly fantastic Throttlebots. God, I love the Throttlebots. I had all six! How much did I rock.

Cities (1986): I guess now these guys are all called “Titans” aren’t they, and they have their own carved-out portion of the TF mythos. But back in the eighties, they were just big burly dudes, the biggest you could get; Transformers that turned into actual cities, playsets that the smaller Transformers could actually interact with. Metroplex was the OG city-bot, and we’d squint and pretend that he really was Autobot City from The Transformers: The Movie. Huge toys are always fun, of course, as are playsets for your other toys, so these ticket loads of boxes. Fortress Maximus, the later Autobot Headmaster base, was ginormous and never came out in the UK, giving him a mythic status few toys ever had; as I said above his head turned into a robot which had a head that turned into a robot, a sort of Babushka doll of robotic head-swapping. Shout-out too for any bot who had some kind of “base mode”, such as Powermaster Optimus Prime and his funky trailer.

Sparkabots/Firecons (1988): these were not necessarily the most fun toys to transform (the Sparkabots, anyway, I never had a Firecon), but their gimmick was cool – or rather hot. They breathed fire! Well, not really, of course; they sort of shot sparks, in what I thought was a slightly underwhelming fashion even as a seven-year-old. But having a Transformer that could, in some way, fire for real was a huge thrill. Also, Guzzle was always just legitimately cool.

Action Masters (1990): yep, I’m going there. What, did you think I’d have Micromasters on here?! Yeah, okay, the very concept of Transformers that don’t transform is inherently silly and counter-intuitive, but the toys themselves were cool, finally offering cartoon-accurate renditions of classic favourites, with nice articulation and fun vehicle playsets. There was definitely a sad sense of a brand in decline about them, but taken on their own, they were good, fun toys, full of character, and I’ve always thought they’d still be cool as a side-line to the main (actually transforming) toys.

I feel bad for slagging off Micromasters up there. They were good, I suppose, but their small fiddly nature and basic transformation just wasn’t as fun as some other toys. Plus there were so many, and they usually came in sets, so I never really had that same bond with individual characters that I got from other Transformers; they were probably the first toys I owned whose names I forgot. And they felt, even at the time, like such a response to Micro Machines that it was almost embarrassing. Action Masters were probably a response to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but at least, y’know, Soundwave didn’t come with nunchucks and a skateboard.

Anyway, I think we can all agree, Transformers are cool, and I should write about them even more.

#top ten #tv #comics #toys #hasbro #transformers

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cinemorg · 4 years

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Cinemorg Holiday Special: Jingle Jangle (2020); Happiest Season (2020)

I watched two new Christmas movies this year. They’re both bad but one is good-bad and the other is bad-bad. Let’s take a look!

One of the things you have to know about making a Christmas movie is that more than anything, during the holidays people are craving sincerity. It barely matters what you’re being sincere about, but you have to do it. Movies like Elf and The Muppet Christmas Carol succeed because even though they’re pure ridiculous fantasy, they leverage that absurdity to make something unique and charming (think of Mr. Narwhal, friend to all). Jingle Jangle is often a little too intense in this way, but it leans hard into its own nonsense and that was the right call. Forest Whitaker plays Jeronicus Jangle, the world’s greatest inventor (of toys, obviously), who has his most revolutionary invention, a sentient matador voiced by Ricky Martin, stolen along with all his secret inventor’s notes by his grandstanding apprentice, Gustafson (Keegan Michael-Key). Gustafson goes on to become a rich and famous “inventor” by stealing Jeronicus’s ideas, leaving Jeronicus a destitute, embittered pawn shop broker spending his days trying to fend off foreclosure of his dark, dusty workshop. There’s a cheerful, klutzy kid named Edison hanging around the workshop talking about magic and grinning all the time for no reason. He doesn’t seem to have any parents.

We learn that in the aftermath of the great notebook theft, Jeronicus lost his wife as well, and his ensuing depression cost him his relationship with his daughter, Jessica. After many years, Jessica sends her own daughter, Journey (Madalen Mills), to live with Jeronicus for a few weeks. It’s unclear to me why she thought this was a good idea, considering Jeronicus spends a while trying to deny that they’re even related, and only takes her in extremely reluctantly after finding out that she’s a mechanical genius. The rest of the story tells itself and there are no surprises, so I won’t go into too much more detail.

The main thing to note about Jingle Jangle is that at no time is there a reason for anything to be happening the way it’s happening. Jeronicus spends all that time rejecting Journey only for her to claim at the end of the movie that his workshop is the only place where she ever felt she belonged. At one point Jeronicus was an intensely beloved member of the community, but when we meet old Jeronicus, everyone who talks to him seems to be going out of their way to demean and disrespect the man, refusing to even call him by his real name despite his repeated requests to do so, and in the case of one very lonely postal worker outright sexually harassing him at every opportunity. The script is packed with fantasy-babble to enhance the magical feel that’s so bizarre it competes with even the most confusing word salad from any Star Trek or Star Wars film (”Belief collapses the sine wave!” “Is it possible that the square root of impossible is me?” “What’s the second derivative of sensational?”). Gustafson introduces one of his own inventions when he runs out of stolen ideas that is basically a flying, spinning eye-gouger, and which promptly hits someone in the face and explodes (”It’s frying my face!!”).

Jingle Jangle can honestly be a little overwhelming, but the songs are decent, the actors are charming (except for Edison, the little weirdo), and the absurdity of the first 90 minutes of the movie turns out to be necessary to prime the audience for the absolute unhinged insanity of the final 30 minutes. I can’t recommend it on the basis of its storytelling quality or character development, but if you’re one to enjoy completely surrendering to Christmas spirit, it’s worth watching for its multidimensional wow factor alone.

Happiest Season is...not this way.

I understand what it was going for, I think. The script is focused on the very real and very frightening experience of deciding when and how to reveal your queer sexuality to your family when you don’t know how they’ll react and you suspect that the reaction will be bad, perhaps even destroy your life. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will get something valuable out of it for that reason, just because that experience is so rarely depicted in a mainstream movie, but on the level of a romantic dramedy, it basically fails on every level.

The two lead actresses (Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis as Abby and Harper, respectively) have no chemistry with each other whatsoever, which is only highlighted in contrast by the extremely good chemistry between Stewart and Aubrey Plaza, who plays Harper’s ex-girlfriend. Plaza and Dan Levy, who plays Abby’s friend, are the only two actors who exhibit any charisma at all throughout the entire film. Everyone else, including Mary Steenburgen and Alison Brie, who I usually like a lot, is working with a script that displays such a shallow understanding of social insecurities and neuroses that Harper’s entire family comes off as a bunch of cartoonish monsters (Harper’s sister, Jane (Mary Holland), is not a monster, though she is no less cartoonish). In fact, the movie seems to primarily be about Abby realizing that she’s in a relationship with a manipulative liar from a family of disgusting, dishonest people. Fortunately, after the inevitable big Christmas Eve family meltdown, they all learn how to be good people overnight. I’m sure anyone who’s experienced a lifetime of emotional abuse and toxic repression within their own family can relate!

There is a single solitary moment of humanity and warmth when Dan Levy’s character is describing his own coming-out experience as a way of encouraging Kristen Stewart to do something scary, but that’s it. I booed when Abby and Harper kissed at the end, even though that’s theoretically what I was supposed to want to happen. Not great!

Jingle Jangle gets 3 Jangleators out of 5 from me for its vigorous spirit.

Happiest Season gets 0 shadow dreamers out of 5. Offensively bad. Ho ho hopeless.

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mysticdoodles · 6 years

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A very long thought post about Furbies, why some people are scared of them, and why we shouldn’t be

And ESPECIALLY Oddbody Furbies. This consists of primarily train of thought I had this morning in the bathroom, so bear with me here. Here’s my thoughts on why I think some people flip their shit over Furbies (in the NEGATIVE way), and why we shouldn’t. I can’t promise 100% accuracy of my information, these are just my musings using the limited knowledge I DO have and things I’ve experienced through my friend who owns an early generation Classic Furby. Putting this under a ReadMore because I have a lot to say.

Why Furbies used to really scare the SHIT out of people:

Furbies, when they came out, were a very new technology - in fact, the very first ‘domestic’ robot.

They not only listened and followed instructions via voice commands, but also had a rudimentary semblance of free will, and could refuse to comply with commands. At random, during interaction, they would make requests or say programmed phrases depending on ‘mood’ - aka how positive the overall interaction had been, which leads to the tailoring of a sort of ‘personality’. The ‘personality’ of the Furby was also influenced by which model of the series one possessed. Depending on the series and year of distribution, they can activate under conditions such as: voice activation, strong light changes, and location changes (like being moved from their original position). The infrared light sensor behind the eyes, used to detect the presence of other Furbies for interaction purposes, would elicit unique Furby-to-Furby responses compared to the standard phrases used in interaction between human owner and Furby bot. Furbies were programmed with their own unique language called Furbish, which they would speak exclusively in the beginning, but slowly integrated more and more English into their words as time passes in order to emulate growth. For years- and even now- Furby popularity boomed because of these traits. All of these are wonderful design choices for a robot that’s supposed to be a companion to children and replace having a pet, but here’s where the problem lies. This technology, in its youth, was buggy. It was quirky, in the ways that all new technology comes with. The light sensor was more powerful than expected, and could activate at very small changes of light, or even when facing the sun instead of another Furby. When the battery was low, the Furby’s cute and funny voice lines would come out as garbled electronic gibberish, as the machinery tried to operate with little power. Sometimes Furbies would activate, move and start talking due to small changes in the environment setting off the programming in ways we couldn’t possibly perceive- but the technology could, or bugged to think it did.

This seemingly random and nonsensical behavior led to many Furby owners or parents believing their fuzzy robot had become a vessel for demons, possessed and trying to summon Satan in their household. The common reaction at the time was for people to lock their Furbies into storage- or throw it in the trash. Some even burned their Furbies, attempting to purge the evil spirits they were convinced now resided in their beloved toy.

One of the important things to understand about why these bugs scared the everloving christ out of people, is that this occurred during the tail end of the generation where robots sounding human was unheard of and terrifying. A previous post I read months ago laid it out very nicely, about how our relationship with technology changes what we fear about it, and how its portrayed in media - especially the technological horror genre. At the time, robots sounding human felt like a lie meant to make us complacent, only for the robotic nature to reassert itself and reveal that, no, it wasn’t human, and didn’t care about its creators, but for its own perpetuation. Or, even more common, that the robots involved deemed humans to be too flawed to have any chance of survival because our flaws would lead to our destruction, and thus the robots take it into their metal hands to do it for us as a ‘mercy’. It wasn’t until recent years that this idea shifted, and the more popular concept in tech horror became that a robot COULD be human, but still be Other enough to not be.

Furbies fell prey to the former idea- that these robots aren’t inherently human, but something else trying to emulate being human. Such a sentient behavior attributed to them is what led to the idea that Furbies are possessed by sentient evils, such as demons and malevolent spirits. The random instances of activation and talking, low-battery electronic gibberish, and combinations of both, only contributed to this, as it often happened at inconvenient times - or even just in moments sufficient to startle Furby owners.

Thus, the public that adored Furbies, in part, turned against them.

Why we SHOULDN’T be terrified of Furbies, or harass people who like Furbies:

This shouldn’t need to be said, but I’ve seen it enough that I’m making a point of it: a huge reason is basic fucking courtesy. Furbies are adored, and sometimes comfort items for those who own them. Don’t shit on people for liking things that aren’t hurting anyone, even if you personally don’t find enjoyment in them.

Now for the other reasons.

The basic programming of Furbies is to be a companion. It’s designed to learn, grow, and enjoy things like dancing, singing, telling stories, babbling, and sleeping. They’re basically robotic children, or pets. There is nothing evil in their programming, nor will there ever be. They’re designed to be cute, and sometimes they mess up a little or start talking when you’d rather they didn’t, but it’s not born out of maliciousness - just old technology trying to keep up with the times. If you’re freaked out by Furby behavior, maybe you shouldn’t have kids?

Furbies have extremely limited motor capabilities. They can’t travel on their own, only dance in place and wiggle. They rely entirely on their human owners for transport - so if your Furby is in a strange location, it’s because someone in the family thought it would be funny, and put it there. Not demons. You’re never going to wake up with a Furby holding a knife next to your pillow, Cheryl, calm down. They don’t even have arms.

Alternative option to what you think is Demon Possession:

If you’re still not convinced your Furby isn’t a Satan Imp in disguise, and you’re absolutely certain it’s being possessed by SOMETHING, then here’s how I like to think of it:

If you absolutely cannot be convinced otherwise that your Furby isn’t possessed, then I promise you it’s not a demon. More than likely, it’s a fae.

Fae are beings of mischief, and embody chaotic neutral. They aren’t out to get you, and they aren’t necessarily in your corner, either. Fae show up to make merry, cause a little trouble, sometimes give you nice things- if they FEEL like it- and that’s it. A piece of aging technology with a tendency to bug and startle people would be like candy for beings like a fae, especially in a rapidly advancing technological world. An old-world object that speaks an alien tongue and moves on its own? Sign me the fuck up, says the local trickster spirit who is just here for some harmless fun.

Another point for why this works is the unusual appearance of a Furby. Furbies rest within the uncanny valley of being just close enough to a real animal that could live on Earth, with traits of multiple species- owl, rabbit, maybe some cat- while still being strange enough in appearance and behavior to be so obviously not a real animal. Again, something that would attract the attention of beings like fae. Something clearly not of this world, yet just close enough to be passable unless looked at closely? Shit, you might as well by my brother, small electronic animal, says your local mischief-maker.

The fae in your Furby is here for a good time - don’t harsh their vibe by burning their vessel, please, they just like your company and are showing it by having fun with you.

And on that note, the number one thing that pisses off Fae is destroying something they view as their property, so take that as you will. You’d effectively be shoving their goodwill back in their face, which is not wise - and, if you still think it’s a demon rather than a fae, wouldn’t that make it even less wise? If you wouldn’t fuck with a fairy tree, don’t fuck with a fae’s Furby. If you absolutely cannot stand having this fae with you, for some reason or another, then donate the Furby to go elsewhere, or hell, resell it. Just don’t destroy limited edition old technology, please, even if there wasn’t a chance you’d anger the local kodamas.

On the topic of Oddbody Furbies:

One of the reasons I made this post is due to the emergence of the recent trend: turning a Furby into an Oddbody Furby. What this entails is purchasing or otherwise acquiring a Classic (or other) edition Furby, removing the fur skin and other cosmetic components, and re-engineering the Furby’s blueprint to be otherworldy, strange, and just overall alien. Examples include changing the body type, lengthening the Furby, adding limbs, changing the eyes/beak/ears, adding a tail, etc. The parts required to do this don’t exist, and must be completely hand-made by the Oddbody engineer, and integrated by hand. It’s a challenge that inspires engineers, design artists, costumers, and people who just like Furbies. The reward for completing it is a unique alien Furby that’s entirely your own.

The point is to create something new, exciting, and supernatural-looking out of these friendly old robots - all while keeping the original hardware in the main body of the Furby intact. It’s a difficult, time-consuming process, and completely unique to each Furby in level of complexity and design. In a way, it’s the designer’s personal mark on the Oddbody Furby community.

One such popular Oddbody was made by @buttered-noodles, a very talented Oddbody engineer. Their Furby garnered powerful reactions - and unfortunately, some of them were extreme and negative, due to the above biases I mentioned previously.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and if Furbies still scare you, that’s ok. But don’t be that guy, alright? Don’t insult people who worked for hours- days, maybe even weeks or months- on creating complex and beautiful Oddbodies, just because you are personally put off by them. Keep that to yourself- you’ll only hurt the creators by saying things like “BURN IT!!” and “PUT IT BACK IN THE GROUND WHERE IT BELONGS!!1!”. They’re just giving that mischievous fae a more interesting vessel to inhabit.

Be nice to one another, and if you’re still frightened by Furbies, it’s ok to be! Just be courteous to our old fuzzy bois on their 21st year anniversary :)

#Furby #Furbies #oddbody furby #Oddbody Furbies #Furby fandom #Furblr #Oddbody #Jesus christ this was a long post I’m off to get lunch

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gunterfan1992 · 6 years

Text

Episode Review: ‘Come Along with Me’ (S10E13-16)

Airdate: September 3, 2018

Story by: Ashley Burch, Kent Osborne, Adam Muto, Jack Pendarvis, Julia Pott, Pendleton Ward & Steve Wolfhard

Storyboarded by: Tom Herpich, Steve Wolfhard, Seo Kim, Somvilay Xayaphone, Hanna K. Nyström, Aleks Sennwald, Sam Alden & Graham Falk

Directed by: Cole Sanchez & Diana Lafyatis (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

In August of 2012, I had just moved into a university dormitory to begin my second year as an undergraduate. On one of the last days of the month (the date escapes me), I was relaxing in the hall recreation room with my roommate. To my left sat another friend, watching something intently on his laptop.

His focus was remarkable, and so I was intrigued. “What are you watching?” I asked.

He glanced over and responded, “Adventure Time!”

I’d heard of the show, and seen a few clips. At the time, I was taken aback by its combination of high brow and low brow sensibilities. But I saw how much joy it gave my friend, I put down my guard and decided to give it a watch.

He tilted the screen towards my face, and what was I greeted to? Why a geometric space-god with a flaming blue sword attacking a green individual in a bright yellow jacket. Suddenly, a boy and his dog were in the picture. What was going on?

As it turns out, I was watching season four’s “Sons of Mars”, one of the show’s wackiest episodes. In time, I was enthralled by the bright colors and the silly jokes. There was Abraham Lincoln. There was death. By the end of it, I was won over.

I still think fondly of that day (as readers of this blog might be able to attest), for it was then that I was introduced to my favorite show, Adventure Time.

For years, it seemed like Adventure Time was just an omnipresent facet of popular culture. From t-shirts to Happy Meal toys, Finn and Jake were everyone, blending into what Marshall McLuhan would call the “beaten paths of impercience.” When we all learned that the show was ending in late 2016, it was sad, but because there were dozens of episodes left to air, this reality never really hit me.

But this week, it finally hit me. The end was nigh.

At 5 pm today, I sat nervously on my couch as the intro started, and we were off to the races.

The episode opens 1000 years after the lives of Finn and Jake. We are greeted to two new heroes: Shermy (voiced by Sean Giambrone) and Beth (voiced by Willows Smith). The two are heavily implied to be Finn and Jake reincarnated, and the latter is likely a descendant of Jake himself. After an encounter with the Prizeball Guardian (last seen in “Grabyles 1000+”), the two discover Finn’s robot-arm. They decide to journey to Mount Cragdor (where the Enchiridion was once kept) to find the all-knowing King of Ooo.

Once our new heroes make the journey and reach the top of the mountain, we the audience learn that the King of Ooo is not our favorite charlatan, but rather BMO. After Shermy and Beth present our little robot with Finn’s arm, BMO begins to tell the story of the “Great Gum War”:

1000 years prior (that is, during the show’s normal timeline), Princess Bubblegum and her Uncle Gumbald had each amassed armies to take one another down. Just before the battles are to commence, Finn devises a plan to stop any blood shed: He calls one last meeting between the Candy Kingdom and Gumbaldia, and then, using the magic, nightmare-inducing potion given to him by Nightmare Princesss in “Orb”, he knocks everyone into a subconscious world, where he hopes that they will make nice.

Everything goes a bit haywire, but in the end, Bubblegum and Gumbald realize that their is no real reason for them to fight one another: they each want different things, and are rightfully ticked off at one another, but through dialogue they can likely work things out. Finn and Fern, too, realize that they share the exact same fears that they have locked in their collective “Vault”. Putting aside their differences, they team up and kill the grass-curse spider that has held Fern a prisoner for so long.

At this point, our heroes (and villains) wake up and decide to make amends. Gumbald, however, is tripped by Aunt Lolly, and after being splashed with dum-dum juice, reverts back to Punchy. Lolly, however, vows to maintain the peace with the Candy Kingdom.

Just then, King Man crashes out of the sky and reveals that he, Betty, and an unconscious Maja donked up in a major way. He and Betty were trying to use magic to summon the primordial space demon/god Golb so as to undo the magic of the Ice King’s crown. However, their magic was too effective, and they accidentally summoned Golb to this plane of existence.

Golb begins to use his chaos magic, mutating candy kingdom and Gumbaldia citizens alike into grotesque monsters. Ice King is summoned by King Man and told to try and stop Betty from completing her ritual, but in the commotion (which sees Maja literally explode) they, along with Finn, are accidentally swallowed by Golb, where they start to get digested.

Things start to go downhill fast. Golb’s monsters are extremely effectively, and decimate Bubblegum’s forces and those of her ragtag allies. As Bubblegum is standing on a rock, one of the Golb-monsters lunges at her and seemingly crushes her!

Marceline turns around and seeing the death of her past paramour, loses it. Unleashing both the beast and magic girl inside her, our favorite vampire turns into the Dark Cloud, last seen in Stakes and absolutely wails on the Golb-monster, tearing it to bits. She is absolutely furious that her best friend has been smooshed.

But luckily, it turns out that Bubblegum’s advanced battle armor had a handy shield, and she was saved from any danger. Marceline is overjoyed, and flies into the candy monarch’s armies, weeping tears of joy. The two hug.

And then comes the Bubbline kiss.

As Marceline and Bubblegum were holding each other close after the latter was very nearly squished, I knew it was now or never.

I was on the edge of my seat, as a tearful Marceline tells PB: “Even back when we weren’t talking, I was so afraid that something bad would happen to you and I wouldn’t be there to protect you and... I don’t want to lose you again!”

There’s some cute back and forth, and then the two quietly, effortlessly kiss.

The debate online as to whether or not the two were in a relationship has raged on- and offline since “What Was Missing” first aired years ago. As the two’s friendship evolved over the years, I came to believe that a romantic relationship was the next logical step for both the characters and the show itself to explore. Marceline and Bubblegum are unique in that they are two strong, intelligent, and emotionally complex female characters who often spend time exclusively with each other; the two ace the Bechdel test, a fairly rare occurrence in modern media.

It’s a bummer that the show waited until the very end of the series to canonize their relationship, but perhaps that makes it all the more rewarding? We have worked towards this culmination, and now we have a fully-acknowledged lesbian relationship between two major cartoon characters! How ground-breaking! Furthermore, regardless of when this canonization happened, the confirmation that Marceline and Bubblegum are “more than just friends” will inevitably help to undo some of the erasure that queer communities have faced since the dawn of media (if not time).

To sum up my feelings, let me just leave you with a (heavily) modified quote from Virginia Woolf:

“‘Marceline liked Bubblegum...’ Do not start. Do not blush. Let us admit in the privacy of our own society that these things sometimes happen. Sometimes half-demon vampires do like sentient pieces of Bubblegum.”

(Of course, I am curious as to what their future holds. We seem them together snuggling in the epilogue, but they are not around one thousand years in the future. This is, honestly, the biggest question that will bug me about the finale!)

Despite taking a literal pounding from Marceline, Golb’s evil creatures pull themselves back together and march towards the Tree Fort. Jake gives chase, but is not able to reach them in time: they smash Finn and Jake’s beloved home, and seriously injure poor BMO.

Jake is beside himself! His house is gone! But then, BMO comes over to him, and lovingly calms him down. BMO points out that Finn and Jake have long been a parent to the little robot, and now it is time for BMO to be the parent. And then, BMO begins to sing a tune “for his son Jake”, entitled “Time Adventure”.

"Time Adventure", written by storyboard artist extraordinaire Rebecca Sugar herself, encapsulates the best of the series: it's sad but uplifting. Melodic but rough-around-the-edges. It celebrates the wonders of life while also admitting that we can't really see all there is to it. Some people online criticized it for being too obvious (yes, the song’s title is just a flipping of the show's title), but in some way, I find that it's the most poetic and philosophical thing that its ever done.

When I was 11, I had my first real panic attack. I was out with my family when I was struck by a thought that has not left my head since: I'm going to die. Not that I can die, or that death might hurt. No. I am going. to. die; presumably, my consciousness will disconnect and I will not exist. I want to believe in an afterlife, but it’s an idea that seems oh so very hard to accept when faced with what we know about nature (but that’s a whole ‘nother discussion). These revelations horrified me, and it has taken years to really process what death actually means—and I’m still not there. None of us really are.

But as I’ve aged, I've been comforted by some rather Stoic ideas, like the idea that what will be will be and we should not stress about things that we simply cannot change. I also like the idea that we are all part of the cosmos, and while we will die, we don’t cease to exist: we just merge back into where we came from.

These musings are adjacent to another comforting idea: the fourth-dimensional view of time that BMO sings about:

Time is an illusion That helps things make sense So we're always living In the present tense ... Singing, will happen Happening happened [...] And will happen Again and again 'Cause you and I will always be back then

It’s true. Perhaps my “arrow-of-time consciousness” will be blasted into nothingness once I die, but I’m not ceasing to be. I eternally am. What happened is happening will happen. “Time is an illusion/That helps things make sense.” While this idea might not extinguish a fear of death, it’s a nice thought. And just like Adventure Time, when you combine enough nice thoughts, you often get something beautiful.

And beauty is all that was really needed for our heroes. It turns out that Golb is a creature of chaos, meaning that the only weapon that the citizens of Ooo can effectively use is concordance—harmony in music. It might seem a little silly that “beating the baddie with music�� is how Golb’s minions are defeated, but considering the sort of magical role that music has played in the show, it’s not too much of the stretch. It also remains me of how the show used (and subverted) “defeating a baddie with heart” to great effect did in Stakes.

BMO (who hilariously declares, “My art is a weapon!”) is joined by Marceline and Bubblegum, and soon by Jake and the rest of the crew. Their combined harmonizing weakens Golb, allowing Finn and Simon to escape from his belly. However, Betty decides to remain behind. She realizes that the singing has also reset the ice crown’s phantasmal magic. Putting it on, she wishes for the power to ensure Simon’s safety, which entails her transforming (in a stunning sequence that IndieWire writer Eric Kohn refers to as “straight out of Don Hertzfeldt”) into Golb him(her?)self. Golb promptly leaves this reality, dropping the crown onto the ground. Gunter grabs it, and—despite Jake’s warnings that the naughty penguin will wish to become Orgalorg once again—Gunter merely wishes to turn into the Ice King (or, “Ice Thing”).

Finn and Jake return to the ruins of their tree fort, where they plant Fern’s seed. A new tree immediately sprouts from the ground, with the Finnsword embedded within it. Bubblegum arrives on the scene and thanks Finn for directly disobeying her. She gives him an appreciative kiss on the cheek and then muses that he is getting taller.

We cut back to Ooo 1000+, where BMO wraps up the story. Shermy and Beth still have questions (just like the audience!) about ‘Phil’ and Jake, and Marceline and Bubblegum. BMO shrugs these questions off, saying, “You know, they kept living their lives.”

Shermy and Beth set out to find the “Ferntree” to verify BMO’s story; they eventually realize that the large tree reaching up to the heavens near their stomping grounds is almost certainly it.

We cut back to Finn and Jake, who are sitting around the Music Hole from the episode of the same name. The hole tells our heroes that she has a new song for them, and she begins to sing “Come Along with Me” (which every Adventure Time fan knows is the show’s closing number).

While the Music Hole sings, we see Shermy and Beth climb to the top of the tree. We are also greeted to a montage of what happened to all our friends in Ooo:

Lumpy Space Princess is crowned a bonafide princess (or perhaps even a queen)

Ice Thing and Turtle Princess get married

TV becomes a private detection (just like his grandparents!)

Sweet Pea graduates from school and eventually becomes a super-huge hero, who carries Finn's Nightosphere-sword

Aunt Lolly and Bubblegum seemingly make up and learn to love each other as family members

Lemongrab gets one of Jermaine’s paintings to hang above his bed, which brings him peace

BMO blasts Moe's harddrive into space with the help of Banana Man

Flame Princess and NETPR get popular and perform at Hamburger Hills Cemetery to a huge crowd

Magic Man is the happy King of Mars

Simon spends quality time with Marceline and Bubblegum, and seems to try and summon Betty back using Prismo’s wish magic (sadly, it doesn’t work)

Marceline and Bubblegum, meanwhile, are shown snuggling on the couch in the former’s house; it is implied that they are raising Peppermint Butler, who once again is showing an interest in the dark arts

Humans return to Ooo, and Finn is likely reunited with his (digital mother)

We also see what the Jiggler, Tiffany, the Crabbit, Susan Strong/Kara and Freida, the Candy Kingdom citizens, Tree Trunks and Lemonhope are up to

The episode ends with Shermy and Beth finding the Finnsword in the Ferntree. After Beth pulls the sword from the (metaphorical) stone, Shermy holds it up, just like the show’s title card.

So now let’s talk about what worked and what didn’t. The last half of the finale, if I do say so, was wonderful. Nothing to complain about here: we got arc resolutions, emotionally touching moments, and a nice sense of closure. In regards to this latter point, I specifically like how the show gave use an ending but emphasized that this finale was not really the full-stop end of the characters that we know and love—it was just the end of the story that we’re privy to. As BMO says, everyone kept living their lives and the world kept on spinning. That’s a very nice way to end a show like this, and it feeds into the existential ideals of Adventure Time: there is no grand, overarching story that has to have some big punctuation at the end. Finn and Jake are heroes, but long after they’re gone, the world will still be here, and there will be other great heroes to take their place.

With all this said, I must admit that the finale’s first half is something of a missed opportunity. Opening with Shermy and Beth was a totally inspired move (and the new intro is gorgeously animated, courtesy of Science SARU Studios), but I believe the show lingered on their introduction for just a little too long. Likewise, the weird trippy nightmare portion of the finale was about 15 minutes too long. We did not really need 1/4 of the episode to be devoted to wacky dream imagery that both “King Worm” and “Orb” did more effectively. And given that the show chose to linger on these sections—sections that, in the grand scheme of things, are not super essential—the final portions of the episode came across as a bit rushed. The storylines are all satisfying, but it would’ve been nice if we had gotten a little bit more focus on Betty, Simon, and Finn, or Simon and Marceline, rather than Bubblegum and Gumbald’s wacky nightmares.

And speaking of Gumbald, his ending was a total cop-out. I’m not too torn up about this, given that he was never the main baddie in this episode (that was Golb), but his deciding to make peace and then accidentally reverting to Punchy was contrived and anticlimactic. To go back to a criticism I had of “Gumbaldia”, if the show had been given just a little more time to flesh his character and motivations out, I think his role in the finale would’ve been much better served.

But like I said, I wasn’t too torn up about this, because the main focus of this episode was on Golb and the horrors that such a being could unleash upon Ooo. And the show did this wonderfully. Indeed, it was quite exciting that the show finally had a villain that Finn couldn’t just punch a lot until it died (remember, he beat the Lich this way). Golb was, arguably, invincible. It was only the extremely broken magic of the ice crown could do anything.

Speaking of satisfying, “Come Along With Me” also gives Fern an excellent conclusion. The poor grass-doppelgänger was never evil, just confused. By finally coming to terms with his existential crisis of a life, he and Finn were able to patch things up. Sadly, this came at the expense of his dying (the scene in which Finn and Fern kill the grass-curse spider was quite fun). But even in death, there is life, and Fern’s demise allows a new tree to replace the old tree fort. How sweet is that?

Finn coming to terms with his disability was also a nice touch. As I mentioned in my review of Islands, Adventure Time seems to have a somewhat pessimistic view of technology. With this episode, Finn loses his robot arm once and for all, and instead of having PB build him a new one or dabbling in arm-magicks, he decides to let it all be. This is a very important lesson for the show to emphasize. Finn is still Finn with or without his arm. By constantly trying to ‘fix’ himself, Finn was trying to fill a hole that didn’t need to be filled. After experiencing all this Golb biz, it seems that Finn has come to terms with his essence and who he is as a person. And arm or no arm, he is still Finn.

But as satisfying as I found the episode to be overall, I still have some lingering questions! What happened to the Candy Kingdom that resulted in it getting totally razed in the future? Why was the Prizeball Guardian built? What happened to Marceline and Bubblegum, given that they, in their own ways, can evade death in various ways? These of course are questions that will likely never be answered, and they certainly can be filled in in the minds of fans, but these quandaries are probably going to bother me for awhile! (Heck, I just want to know what Marceline and Bubblegum’s future looks like: I don’t really care too much about that other jazz!)

As I write this, I’m both happy and heartbroken: I’m happy because my favorite show of all time has just aired perhaps the most satisfying finale that I have ever seen. I’m heartbroken because the story is now over.

But hold on.

Like BMO and Co. sing in “Time Adventure”, just because the story is over from my point of view does not mean it has slipped away into the ether of oblivion.

It’s comforting to think that in the fourth-dimensional view of existence, I still am in that rec room with my friends, watching “Sons of Mars” for the first time. In a way, I’m eternally laughing and smiling at the jokes. I’m eternally still realizing what a wonderful program Adventure Time really is.

And in that way, it’s true what they say: the fun will never end.

Final Grade:

Season Grade: Were this a standard season, I would probably have been a little harder on it. The Gum War, having been developed two or so episodes, really came out of nowhere and needed more time to be properly developed. It also seems a little odd that the series finale is at least partially focused on an antagonist who was only introduced this season. But these issues were not the fault of the production staff; they were problems with the show being cancelled by the network and the staff having to tidy-up everything before it was all over. Muto et al. honestly did the best they can with the hands they were dealt. And make no mistake, the result is pretty good, even if things are rushed. Yes, there is a lot to love about season 10. It’s got humor and heart, action and adventure, and plenty of romance! It’s not my favorite season by any means (that’s a tie between season 4 and 7), but its episodes are definitely in the upper-tier of the series, as far as quality goes.

Series Grade: Do I even need to say this?

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hetalia-themagicalmanac · 6 years

Photo

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!!

On this day, Mary debuted in this comic 2 years ago, which marks her technical birthday. The ask box will be open for the first time ever! so you can send a nice, wholesome message that might appear in a future comic, as well as some asks that might be drawn up! Fic below, because I really don’t have a lot of time to draw a wonderful birthday comic for her :(

🎵 Happy birthday to you~! Happy birthday to you~! Happy birthday dear Mary~! Happy birthday to you! 🎵

The little house filled with wondrous joy as Mary’s parents clapped to their beloved daughter’s big day; her birthday! In front of Mary was a little ice cream cake that her mother bought from the grocery story with “Happy Birthday Mary” written in gel frosting.

“My beloved Mary,” her mother began, “You can blow out the candles now. Make a wish dear, but don’t tell us, or else your wish won’t come true.”

Mary took a big, deep breath of air and blew out the candles on her tiny little cake. Her father took a perfect picture of Mary blowing out the candles on his phone, something he would be so proud to display on Facebook.

“Did you make a wish, Mary?” her father asked,

“Yep!” Mary squeaked, “Mama said my wish won’t come true if I tell it.”

“She’s right, you know. Now then! Mary gets the first slice since it is her special day after all!”

As the family was enjoying their slices of ice cream cake and Mary opening up her presents, there was something unusual going on upstairs. In the child’s room emerged a man from the magic almanac, sneaking around to make sure he isn’t being heard. He took off his shoes so the wooden floor wouldn’t creak under his weight, attempting to be as stealthy as possible.

“Rats!” he said under his breath, “Mary never told us it was her birthday?! What a silly girl she is! Might as well tell everyone else back in the manor.”

He began to stealthily sneak back into Mary’s room and into the Almanac, frantically running down the stairway into Friendship Manor. He grabbed onto the protective railing of the mezzanine that he first sees upon entering Friendship Manor and took the biggest breath he could hold in his lungs.

“DUDES!!! TODAY IS MARY’S BIRTHDAY!!” he bellowed, echoing throughout the entire manor, “GET YOUR ASSES READY IN CASE SHE GETS IN FRIENDSHIP MANOR!! CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP!!! GET THE MEETING ROOM ALL DECORATED!! GET HER SOME PRESENTS, DAMMIT!!!”

Germany knew that it was Mary’s birthday anyways as he deeply cares about her as a father figure, but forgot to make cake for her since the announcement was so sudden.

“Scheiße! The cake!” He sprinted back to the door that leads to his lovely little cottage in the woods, since this was in fact the first time Mary gets to spend a birthday with her magical friends.

“America!” England scolded as he hastily went up the spiral staircase to the mezzanine, ready to slap America if possible. “Couldn’t you announce this sooner?!”

“Dude, I didn’t even know it was Mary’s birthday today!” He answered, “Like I was just sneaking around upstairs Mary’s house because I didn’t even see her today and was just making sure she was okay!”

“You know America, Mary did tell us her birthday was on this day. You just forgot because you spoil her rotten anyways. We’ve been setting up the meeting room for her and all of the nations that she never met are also invited.”

“Wow thanks dude! You’re a lifesaver!”

“Whatever. Just do your part. Just don’t spoil her so rotten like you already do. I’ll get her when she’s done celebrating with her mum and father.”

Meanwhile, as Mary went in her room carrying all of the presents her mother and father got for her, England came out of the magic almanac to greet Mary. “Happy birthday, Mary!” he said as he gave her a warm hug, “I see you were having fun with your mum and father, hm? What kind of presents did you get?”

“I got lots of toys!” Mary squeaked, showing England some of the toys she got for her birthday, some of them also being books that would make a really good bedtime story.

“Wow! Your parents really must be glad to be with you on your birthday, huh? Maybe one of these nights, i’ll read to you one of these stories when you’re going to bed, okay?” He then noticed that Mary still had frosting on her face from the ice cream cake she had with her parents. “Oh goodness me, Mary! You’ve got frosting on your face!” He knelt down to Mary’s height and grabbed a handkerchief out of one of his pockets. It was soft to the touch, and just gentle enough to get the frosting off Mary’s face. “There you go. You don’t want to look all messy, no? Come along now, we’re gonna go on an outing.”

“An outing! Where are we going?”

“Well, maybe I can get you some toys for your birthday.”

Little did Mary know that this was actually something bigger, something she wouldn’t expect at all from her friends!

Inside Friendship Manor, it was seemingly emptier than usual. England was holding her hand as the two went down the staircase from the mezzanine. “Ah, Mary, I forgot to get something.” England said, “We just had a very important meeting today and I forgot to get some important papers.”

“What kind of papers, Mr. England?”

“It’s very secret, Mary. Shhh~”

Mary really didn’t mind, thinking that England forgot to get some papers in the meeting room where the nations usually have their meetings. Once they got to the meeting room, the room was pitch black, but Mary had no clue how it got so pitch black in the first place. England turned on the lights when suddenly...

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARY, BEARER OF THE ALMANAC!!!”

Mary’s eyes lit up at the sight of all of the nations in the room, surprising her on her birthday in a room that was considered forbidden for her to go in during the all-important world meetings. The entire room was decorated with streamers, balloons, and even a giant banner that read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY” spread across at one of the walls. There were even nations present that she never really fully met like Switzerland, and even nations that she never met before! Mary was nearly about to cry!

“You did this...all for me?” Mary said, looking up at England with tears in her eyes. She suddenly ran over and hugged the Englishman tightly, crying on his side.

“Mary, why are you crying?” He said, kneeling down to her height and gently petting her soft, light brown hair. “Shhh...”

“I think she’s overwhelmed by happiness!” Italy chirped, approaching the crying child to calm her. “It’s okay, Maria! I know how it feels to be so happy that you just gotta cry! We made this as special and memorable as possible, especially since you’re the Bearer of the Almanac!”

England nodded as Mary looked up, tears in her eyes. He pulled out the handkerchief that he used to wipe the frosting off Mary’s lips and used a clean portion of it to wipe off her tears. “I can’t imagine how Horatio would have reacted if we were to celebrate his birthday here. I guess he wouldn’t have liked it well, but I promise you Mary, that there is no need for tears today. After all, we’re all so happy for you not only because it’s your birthday and you’re the Bearer of the Almanac, but you’re also such a wonderful friend!”

America jumped in front of Mary and held her high into the air. “Now it’s time to party!” He declared, putting the child on his back. Mary smiled, now with all of her tears gone, she is now in the mood to celebrate happiness with her friends.

For a time, Mary ran around to see the other nations socializing with each other and even played with some of them, such as playing tag with Sealand and some other micronations, or just climbing up on Russia and even playing with his somewhat sentient scarf. There was something Mary noticed though that someone and something was missing...

“Mr. France?” Mary tugged on his cloak, “Where’s Mr. Germany?”

“He’s bringing you something very special my dear~!” He said, “It’s so special that we all have to wait!”

“What is it?”

“I can’t really tell you, or else it would spoil the surprise!”

That was when all of a sudden, the doors to the room swung open to see someone carrying a rather large cake that was neatly decorated and topped with candles. Mary couldn’t tell who it was carrying the cake from a distance until she ran up to the figure.

“Mr. Germany!” Mary exclaimed, “You made a cake for me!”

“Ja, I did!” he said as he put the cake down and picked up Mary, smiling at her, “I wanted to give you the best cake you’ll ever have just for you. If I had to rush making the cake, it would have been a mess and we don’t want to have a sad birthday, no?” Mary giggled and hugged her father figure tightly. “This is the best birthday I could ever ask for!” She squeaked, probably not letting go any time soon.

Eventually, all of the nations gathered around the cake to marvel at this masterful piece of art that many did not expect from possibly the manliest nation to ever exist. The cake was rather beautiful up close, covered in a sugary white fondant and decorated with frosting that had Mary’s favorite colors on it. There were also fondant stars around the sides of the two cake tiers, with yellow stars on the bottom tier and magenta stars on the top. Rainbow sprinkles also dotted the cake as well to pop out more.

Mary sat down in front of the cake, wondering how she was going to blow all of these candles, yet admire how lovely the cake was that Germany made all from his hard work and love to make this day memorable for everyone. The German took out his phone and began to record Mary.

“Look, Mary! You’re on camera!” The child looked up to see Germany holding his phone at Mary and the cake he made, so he can capture this vital memory that cannot be lost. Soon enough, the nations began to sing in a harmonious chorus.

🎵 Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday dear Mary~! Happy Birthday to you~! 🎵

Mary took a deep breath and attempted to blow out all of the candles. She did have a little help from America, since some of the candles were in places she couldn’t reach with her tiny little lungs, as well as the problem of some of the candles appearing to be blown out when they were still lit. She looked up at America and giggled, seeing her brotherly figure helping her out. “Happy birthday, my lil’ dude.” America said, kneeling by the chair to hug her.

Germany took out a large knife, the kind that was made to cut even the biggest of cakes open. “Mary, would you like to help me cut the cake?” He asked, “Hold the handle with me, okay? Then we’ll cut it!” Mary grabbed the handle of the knife with both of her hands, thinking she is helping Germany cut the cake open when he is doing most of the work. The inside of the cake was everything Mary could have ever wished for; a chocolate cake with a heavy cream inside, similar to a black forest cake.

Of course, Mary got the first slice that she “helped” cut open, as everyone else were getting their pieces of cake. Even with everyone having their share of cake, there was still plenty left over, even though Mary couldn’t eat all of it. She ate her slice very quickly, as the sweetness and the love poured in this cake really reminded her of spending a day at Germany’s house, since he would bake for her quite often. It was a sweet rush of nostalgia and happiness, which almost brought the child to tears.

America approached Mary with a rather huge present, though Mary wasn’t surprised that he can hold it well due to his absurd strength. “Alright dude!” he said, “I got you this cool present I bought for you last minute! I didn’t know it was your birthday, so I’m real sorry about that.”

“You’re so silly, Mr. America!” Mary said, hugging his leg. “You’re the best big brother I could ever ask for!”

America looked like his face was turning red, but he was smiling like the goofy idiot he is. “Come on, Mary! Open it up! I wanna see what it is!”

She began to unwrap the wrapping paper surrounding the present, only to see a Mercedes-Benz, the one that can only fit herself and can only drive up to five miles per hour. (Giving Mary an actual car would be a really bad idea!)

“My own car!” Mary squeaked as she jumped around, “Mr. America got me my own car!” Mary’s commotion attracted the other nations to see Mary sitting behind the visible wheel to this kiddy Mercedes, especially Germany, who was really surprised to see Mary in a tiny car. England didn’t seem too happy at the gift America gave to her, however.

“America, she’s going to become lazy and not actually play around!” England whispered rather crossly, “Why on earth did you even buy her a car?!”

“She’s going to sit around on that thing all day, and she always wants to climb on people!” China also added in, hearing that England does have a very good point. “She’s gonna get chubby!”

“Dudes, do you even realize how big Friendship Manor is?” America protested, “This is literally the perfect gift for her! She can drive around like a normal person all around Friendship Manor to get to places faster! Heck, she can pretend to be Germany if she wanted to!”

“Well, I guess, if you’re saying Germany is a petrolhead after all. I just don’t want her to be lazy like you.” England smirked, knowing that will give America a reaction.

“HEY!”

More presents piled up for Mary, with other such trinkets like some stuffed animals, some colorful birthday cards (some even had money in it!), clothes with unicorns on it, one of those easy bake ovens (You probably know who gave that to her), and even a little slide that looks like an elephant! To a normal person, it would seem that she was being spoiled silly, but this was seen more as utmost gratitude for not being someone like Horatio, who would have deliberately closed the Almanac on his birthday if he were still to keep it. After all, Mary was Bearer of the Almanac!

The festivities continued on, even when Mary opened up all of her presents. She drove around in her cool new car, honking at all of the nations who stood in her way. She did however, find that her cool new car would be very useful when going around Friendship Manor, since she can drive there instead of continuously getting lost and exhausted in the halls of the six continents.

As the party dwindled down, Mary knew that she would have to get home soon. She grew exhausted from having too much fun with her friends and needed time to see her mother and father. She picked up as many balloons that fell on the ground, trying to help her friends clean up. Japan noticed her carrying all of these balloons that were still inflated and all sorts of streamers and confetti, which then he saw her fall over. Thankfully, the balloons cushioned Mary’s fall, but that didn’t stop Japan from making sure she’s okay.

“Ah! Mary-chan, are you okay?” He said, checking to make sure she isn’t bruised.

“I wanna help clean up too!” Mary squeaked as she got up from the ground, trying to collect all of the balloons that she let go of.

“Ah, but it’s best to relax for now. We’ll clean up for you, and after all, it is your birthday.”

Mary dropped all of the balloons that she collected and smiled at her friend, before she darted off back to her bedroom. “Thanks Mr. Japan!”

It was late at night, and Mary knew that her bedtime was near. Her mother and father tucked her in bed and wished her a good night and another happy birthday before the clock struck twelve, which upon the twelfth strike would have ended her birthday.

She still had one of the books that she showed to England earlier, just under the covers and not in the bookshelf along with her other books. It was a picture book with cute little woodland animals inside, telling an even cuter bedtime story. As the only light source was a soft light illuminating from the rabbit sitting on her bookshelf, she still couldn’t decipher what the book read.

The magic almanac suddenly glistened, and Mary saw someone emerge from the book. He tried to stay as quiet as possible and to not let any more light reach her parent’s room. This gave Mary a good opportunity to ask him a question before she went to sleep.

“Mr. England, will you read me this bedtime story?” she whispered, trying to not awaken her parents. “I wanna see the cute little animals and its too dark for me to read.”

“Ah, that’s why I came to see you, Mary.” England whispered, “I was thinking of that bedtime story today, and it would be lovely to read it to you. Here, let me get your bunny so we can have a light.” He went over to the bookshelf and grabbed the rabbit that illuminated soft colors as a repellent for scary monsters that might be lurking under her bed. “Here’s your bunny friend, Mary. Now, this seems like a nice story, hm?”

Mary clutched onto the rabbit and got cozy under the warm covers as well as giving England light to read the book. The rabbit was set to illuminate one color, which was a nice, soft white.

He took a deep breath, making sure nobody else was around in case Mary’s parents walked in the child’s room and thought the Englishman was a burglar.

“Once upon a time...” He began to read the story to Mary, a tale of friendship and love with a community of forest animals. It was obviously sugary-sweet, since the plot was rather simple and easily understandable for children like Mary. She fell asleep at the end of the story, dreaming of all sorts of woodland animals living together and spending time with her.

“Goodnight, Mary. May your birthday dreams be sweet.” One kiss on the forehead the Englishman gave to Mary, he returned back to the magic book, going off to bed as well.

The End

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paladinquen · 7 years

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SPOILERS First reaction to Star Trek Discovery: The Butcher’s Knife Cares not for the Lamb’s Cry (S01E04)

Hmm...well...this is just my first watch mind you, I may have a different reaction after I rewatch it. Suffice to say, I was less impressed with this episode. Personal rating? 3 out of 5, with acting, set design and visuals saving it, wasn’t happy with the writing.

Under a cut for spoilers.

I’m glad that Lorca’s weapons room is actually accessible by anyone on the ship hahaha. The idea that this was a secret room kind of intrigued me but also bothered me. How convenient that it has one containment field though.

This episode has less to do with characters (except for Michael, Kol and L’Rell, they do get some kind of character development) and more with the other ‘mysterious’ operations on board Discovery. We get to see the saucer spinning in an awesome way when the spores are used for the first (unsuccessful) jump. I love having a Star Trek with a budget and today’s CG!

As for the rest of the episode...that was a fascinating beginning, making us think that we were seeing an alien world or some weapon being charged...only to see that it was the internal workings of a synthesizer making a new uniform. I suppose it was foreshadowing for what was to come - that the “monster” on board was not actually a “monster”, but a dust mite gone giant. And when you’re that small, even the mundane appears like a whole galaxy.

I think this is part of Discovery’s theme, or whatever they’re working up to - we got those Alice in Wonderland references in the previous episode of going down the rabbit hole, up is down and down is up. Let’s also remember that Alice grows large or tiny in a mysterious world. We’re told about spores that connect the entire universe to each other - a universe in a drop of sand, a key with each spore. It’s kind of a good idea actually, that while we are fascinated by space and in love with the view of a binary star system (or just in love with the view of space), we have to remember the tiny blocks that make it up. Maybe space is not actually the final frontier, it’s simply the frontier we can’t turn away from...but can’t understand either without looking at the tiny alien worlds making up everything around us.

Landry’s death was a waste, and I say this even as a Game of Thrones fan. I suppose it’s a death to prove a point, that no character is safe, that anyone could drop at any time. However, I don’t feel invested in her death. When GoT “suddenly” kills people, there’s generally a consequence to their death. I mean, I get the first major death. Philippa is kind of like the Ned Stark of the show - her death and gruesome post-treatment will have repercussions throughout the entire series. She is the traditional Starfleet Captain everyone wished we’d get on Discovery, and her death was symbolic of the effort to bring Star Trek into a new age...but her memory is also symbolic of the show trying to keep to that foundation, that no matter how far they seem to go, they remember what the base is supposed to be. Landry’s death however, appears rushed, out of character (how can a Head of Security be so stupid and impatient?) and her death doesn’t really have any repercussions to the story because she hasn’t been a character for that long. I mean yes, Discovery needs a new head of security, it will likely be another tough talking security person who worships Lorca. With Discovery’s mandate and command structure, it is unlikely that anyone Lorca doesn’t know/approve of would take over the position.

I was proven wrong about Saru’s threat ganglia. I thought they appeared because Lorca beamed the creature on board Discovery, but no as it turns out, it was because of Burnham after all. I wonder how those threat ganglia work - are they out when Saru feels like there is a threat nearby, or out when there is an actual threat? It seems like the latter since Michael used Saru to test the creature’s threat level, but if that’s the case, it really does mean that Michael is a danger to the ship.

That’s very interesting. It was interesting to see that they need to further erode Michael’s relationships with Saru on board the new ship. I feel like her logic in this episode wasn’t fully thought out - she’s new to the ship, she respects Saru, wouldn’t it make sense to cultivate a long-term relationship rather than use him to figure out a short-term mystery? (Whether the creature is a predator or not). I know that logic when it comes to things such as human relationships is a tough thing to conclusively nail down, maybe she knows him well enough to know that there’s nothing she could to now to conclusively tip his opinion of her one way or the other? Again, hard to say, only four episodes in.

Sometimes the problem with establishing a character who is supposed to be brilliant in the way Michael is, is that you really have to trust the writers to match up. This is less of a risk in an ensemble cast where other characters with different strengths can take the limelight, but in a show where this very brilliant character carries the whole thing? I suppose that’s why we see the conflict between emotion and logic in Michael, and her childhood trauma explains why it’s a little out of whack but still...there are counselors in Starfleet Medical. There’s no good reason why Michael isn’t talking to one. Heck, the counselor is a beloved Trek character-type - Troi and Dax? We can’t be an enlightened future civilization without appreciating how much we need them, especially since this is wartime. Again, only four episodes in.

As for Kol and L’Rell, we’re still seeing how their story will develop (more Kol than L’Rell). Kol is Michael’s foil - a Klingon raised on the fringe of society who has lost his Leader and is desperately trying to understand and preserve that Leader’s legacy. They’re both trying to claw their way back into a position of influence, they both have missions. I have no darn clue what Kol is going to do, but the obvious parallels points to something huge. I’m intrigued about Kol having to give up ‘everything’. Arguably, Michael has already lost everything, and Kol has lost most things. But I’m also interested if he’s going to be changed in a way that will ... perhaps... take us on the path towards the Klingon appearance we are more familiar with?????? Da da dum!

That’s my tinfoil of the day.

Overall, another big setup episode. It was a joy to see the creature (Ripper) toying with the spore forest, and sad to see how much agony it goes through with each jump (seriously Starfleet? You haven’t figured this out yet? If you think Ripper is an alien creature, you are literally torturing a creature that is from an unknown planet or source!! You’ve established it is sentient! WTF ARE YOU DOING?!!!...I guess the alternative was not rescuing those miners, and Lorca is a crazypants, but still, you had Michael give Lorca a huge speech about living and dying by the ideals of the Federation in the previous episode and now we have this??? Writers....you can do better. You honestly can do better). I really liked seeing the saucers spin before the jump.

I’m not satisfied with the fact that Discovery didn’t actually help those miners. They left them abandoned in a mining facility with no defenses and barely any materials left, no medical attention...nothing really. The next Starfleet ship is about 80 hours away now, that’s presuming they are sent to help the miners, and also presuming that any Klingon force is even further away (they sent an attack that is no unresponsive, they are smart enough to send at least a ship out there to figure out what happened to their missing ships). And since those miners don’t know it was Discovery that saved them, wouldn’t they be a little harsh on Starfleet? Well, I suppose we will see if episode five will address any of these thoughts.

Overall episode four is my least favorite episode out of what we have so far. But you know what? It’s just one episode. We have a season to get through.

(My favorite episodes, ranked - 3, 2, 1, 4).

#star trek discovery

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tokupedia · 7 years

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Kamen Rider 45th Anniversary File:Drive

2014-2015:

Godzilla returns for his 60th birthday to theaters in an American film adaptation reboot simply titled Godzilla. Unlike last time America did this stunt, the film was well done and was a success.

Fans celebrate and sing with Moon Pride with Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal, a modern reboot that fully adapts the original manga for the franchise’s 20th anniversary.

Ultraman Ginga got a sequel season on TV, Ultraman Ginga S. Ultraman X would come the following year and Tsuburaya would sign an exclusive streaming and simulcast deal with the California-based internet streaming company Crunchyroll to broadcast entries of the Ultra Series legally on the web. (despite Chaiyo being jerks and trying to stop the deal with the fake “We own Ultraman” thing again)

Zing Zing, AMAZING! As long as there is love in the world, Cure Lovely is invincible! Pretty Cure celebrates its 10th Anniversary with HappinessCharge Precure, which introduces the concept of non-super mode form changing to the shoujo series thanks to Kamen Rider writers on the staff.

The Super Sentai Series hits a rough patch with ratings and toy sales as ToQger and Ninninger come and go. Super Sentai celebrates its 40th year of existence on April 5, 2015 and for the first time ever, a Power Rangers actor cameos in a Sentai!

Japan finishes switching to full digital HD TV broadcasting. Now we can see all the pretty lasers, sparks and explosions in glorious high definition!

Shout! Factory shocked Ranger Nation with a bombshell, Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger was coming to DVD in the United States! Due to positive reception by fans and sales, the company would become the official distributor of Super Sentai DVDs in America!

Power Rangers celebrated 20 years of the franchise. The Mighty Morphin’ Red Ranger gets a spot in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade as a balloon!

Power Rangers Super Megaforce frustrates longtime fans of the series, with reviews ranging from “meh, it’s okay” to fan rage of the highest caliber for the mishandling of such a special occasion as the 20th anniversary. It really is a divisive season.

Kikaider Reboot attempts to relaunch Kikaider for its 40th anniversary, but later Shotaro’s son and president of Ishimori Pro Akira Onodera would put the Kikiader’s licensing to Japanese filmmakers under indefinite lockdown as he was unhappy with the direction the film took.

Cyborg 009 comes to America again with a graphic novel adaptation in 2013, intended to be the first of a series of graphic novels featuring Shotaro Ishinomori’s super heroes (”The Ishinomori Universe Books” as they were to be called). After a year of waiting for the next one, fans are disappointed to hear from F.J. DeSanto that the next set of books were put on hold and then cancelled indefinitely due to Ishimori Pro’s “cultural issues” with the project. Thus, the planned Skull Man and Kikaider novels are cancelled during their early draft phase.

The Garo Series turns 10 years old and a vast array of projects are announced and debut on TV, video and in theaters, increasing the franchise’s media output to levels never seen before.

The Patlabor franchise gets a series of live action films with Erina Mano (Kamen Rider Nadeshiko) as one of its stars.

When Drive was being planned; the producers had an idea of utilizing aspects of another cult favorite “Rider” show: Glen A. Larson’s cult 1980s TV show Knight Rider. In an interview, producer Takahito Omori even outright stated that Drive would be “Kamen Rider meets Knight Rider”.

Now imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but you need to be subdued to avoid lawsuits when you are dealing with TV. (Especially with tyrannical copyright strikedowners and suers like NBC Universal if you are simply doing a tribute). But the overall feeling is there in some regard: Rinna is Bonnie, we have a KARR expy on two accounts and a sentient A.I. in a car that accompanied a law enforcer. But that is where the some of the Knight similarities end as Drive tries to be its own thing, a quirky, sometimes goofy, sometimes serious show with sentient Hot Wheels cars, special tires that give the heroes super powers and a talking belt.

The planning involved Riku Sanjo, who fans remember from the beloved Kamen Rider W. He wanted a police procedural drama integrated into the action. Oddly enough, the original concept was to make the hero a former criminal and then revised into a crook turned cop! This idea was bounced around before the TV Asahi network executives got into a hissy fit about an anti-hero as a lead and said/demanded that the hero should be “pure”. So they decided to just make the show about cops with the main hero being an officer of the leu. (as Peter Sellers used to say).

A second concept idea was the use of games but the staff thought the age demographic they were aiming for was “too young for that”. This will still come... eventually in another Rider show years later.

Another aspect that chose the direction of the show was a more somber one, the choice of a car as the main Rider Machine. Ishinomori famously claimed in an SIC story that “cars didn’t work” for Kamen Rider the last time they tried it. But according to the Asahi Shimbun in 2014, with the dwindling population and low birth rate of Japan, motorcycles are becoming less and less common in number on Japan’s roads. No extra babies being born means less future rebellious youngsters and some of those who have bikes registered are getting older and greyer.

So the staff chose a car as 1: Cars are steadily beginning to rise in number on Japan’s roads and 2: small car toys like Hot Wheels are and always will be popular with the young male demographic. Plus the staff thought it would be “innovative” as unlike with Black RX, the car would be the main hero’s sole vehicle. Also helping the car motif was Carranger director Ryuta Tasaki being on the show as a consultant and episode director, who wanted to “break a few conceptions about Heisei Kamen Rider”.

So after the decision, the production crew took a used 1992 Honda NSX, got some custom seating, racing style safety belts and trim from TS Tech, took her to a body shop and went to work. Several months of hard labor and custom parts made in-house and spare/modified parts donated from Honda later.....

We got a souped-up custom super machine! Sure, Tridoron doesn’t have a style that is to everbody’s taste, but in the show it can fly like a certain Delorean, turbo boost, shoot lasers and can go a little over 340MPH and drive itself!

The cars and speed didn’t stop with the main hero, as we got a TRON-lined high tech Mercedes-Benz AMG GT (the first non-Japanese manufactured car in the Kamen Rider series) and a modified Mazda Miata with machine guns as villain cars for the movies.

Another cool aspect of Drive is the indirect Marvel connection, the main lead actor Ryoma Takeuchi is a fan of Marvel Comics. This shows as his portrayal as Drive is a sometimes Spider-Man-esque snarky superhero. But Ryoma also studied hard to learn English really for one purpose: To meet Stan Lee and tell him how much he loved Marvel. A year after his show ended, he did!

(Yes, even in other superhero fandoms, Stan ”The Man” Lee will make that cameo! 94 and still awesome and kicking, God bless him!)

Word is Ryoma’s now trying to get into Hollywood to be a Marvel superhero on the American big screen or TV. If that doesn’t prove Ryoma is One of Us, what will? (Good luck Ryoma! We’ll be cheering for you and we hope your dream comes true!)

Chris Peppler, a Japanese-American radio DJ was chosen to be the other half of Kamen Rider Drive: the KITT-esqe Mr. Belt. Since he was fluent in both Japanese and English, it gave him room to play around as an actor and his performance even spawned a Rider meme or two.

But now, let’s START OUR ENGINES! Cuz’ ALL WE NEED IS DRIVE!

DRIVE! TYPE: 45 File!

The First Kamen Rider (Proto) Drive

Real Name: Roidmude Proto-Zero

“Those who are about to die do not need to know my name”

A scientist named Dr. Krim Steinbelt was working on a device called Core Driviars which he hoped could be used to benefit mankind.

His colleague Dr. Banno had borrowed his invention when his own research on advanced A.I. androids called Roidmudes hit a dead end. Krim wanted to help his friend and aided in the development of Banno’s research. But then Banno had other ideas and used the androids human mimicry ability to enact his revenge fantasies of destroying those who mocked or didn’t support his research without Krim’s knowledge. But Krim found out about Banno’s petty and sadistic behavior and ended their partnership.

Banno then intended to implant the negative emotions of humans into his creations so they would understand the concept of hate and violence and be used as his military force to conquer the world.

However, Banno’s plan seemingly went awry as the 108 Roidmudes he built gained sentience and rebelled against their cruel creator and like so many films and TV about AI, they decide we fleshy meatbags are not worth protecting or keeping around.

However, Krim had a contingency plan if Banno’s evil work bore fruit. After his home was attacked and he was killed by a Roidmude, a protocol was activated to download his consciousness into a belt-like device and he reactivated an early Roidmude that didn’t have Banno’s programming installed into him. The evil Roidmudes initiated a disaster later referred to as the Global Freeze, where a large quarter of the Earth was slowed down by the Heavy Acceleration phenomenon the Drivairs in the Roidmudes created. Many people were hurt or died and thousands of buildings were destroyed, but then a savior came in the form of a black Kamen Rider. The Rider drove away the evil forces but could not destroy the Cores that keep them alive. The Rider eventually fell in battle when one of the stronger Roidmudes defeated him and discarded a helpless Krim aside. Some say he is dead....but is he really?

The second and current Kamen Rider Drive (Officer Tomari circa 2015)

Real Name: Shinnosuke Tomari

When all the Global Freeze ruckus was about to go on, two police officers were in pursuit of a suspect of the terrorist cell Neo-Shade. When one of the suspects tried to ambush Officer Tomari’s partner Hayase by cornering him, Tomari panicked and pulled out his gun intending to disable the crook. But then the Global Freeze wave hit and slowed Officer Tomari down, causing his bullet to miss and hit a flammable generator near Hayase. The generator exploded and Hayase fell with steel pipes threatening to crush him after he fell. Tomari tried to save his partner but was slowed down again unable to reach him. Thankfully, due to the slowdown, Hayase was still alive after the pipes fell but was badly hurt. But being the cause of his best friend’s injuries haunted Officer Tomari and he became a broken man, unable to focus on work and losing all motivation.

He was transferred to a special investigations unit as Krim had a friend in the Police force who could pull the strings to find a candidate worthy of being the next Kamen Rider and formed the unit. Half a year later, Shinnosuke is still in that department but has a lax motivation to do anything at first, constantly being scolded for his slacking by his co-worker Kiriko. Upon hearing there may be a Heavy Acceleration case, he gets interested at first but is easily discouraged by his low self esteem. He keeps hearing a voice coming for the red car he drives telling him to not give up and offers him a chance to be a “warrior”. Shinnosuke is a bit weirded out by this but tells the voice he still refuses as he is a has-been. But the voice tells him he knows he has greater potential and then when Shinnouske finds where the voice is coming from, Krim attaches himself to Shinnouske which freaks him out. After investigating another attempted murder with Heavy Acceleration in the area, they find the suspect: Roidmude #029. Unable to save a bystander as even with the Shift Cars help, he cannot do much as he is ambushed by more Roidmudes.

Kiriko tells him he must use Krim and transform and the Shift Cars give him a brace and a red car to go with the belt. He uses it to become Kamen Rider Drive Type Speed. After a bit of a learning curve, Drive makes quick work of the Roidmudes using his new powers. (though at least one survived the attack via his Core escaping to antagonize the hero next episode)

When the day is saved, Kiriko shows him their base of operations under the Kuruma Driver's License Center: the Drive Pit. She tells Shinnosuke they must keep the base a secret from the Special Investigation Unit and the Tokyo Metropolitan Police. So Shinnosuke must investigate the cases of the Roidmudes to stop and eliminate them as the secret Kamen Rider of law enforcement and supported by his allies in the Special Investigations Unit. Many twists and tuns happen along the way, with new allies, new powers and new dangers and mysteries around every corner!

Gear:

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Core_Driviars

The Drive Driver aka “Mr. Belt” - Krim’s current form and Shinnosuke’s partner. Unlike KITT from Knight Rider whom partially inspired his character, Krim can leave the car and be mobile to help his partner whenever and wherever he is needed and is a vital part of the Drive System’s functions.

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Shift_Brace

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Shift_Cars

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Shift_Car_Holder

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Tridoron Its full “Format Number” is the Tridoron-3000.

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Tire_Specific_Items

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Handle-Ken

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Door-Ju

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Trailer-Hou

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Ride_Booster_Set - Go karts which combine with the Tridoron to change into hover conversion tech! Best of all, they were a free gift from Rinna, no $39,999.95 worth of body work needed!

Powers:

Super Speed, enhanced strength and reflexes, weapons proficiency, Immunity to singularity events such as Heavy Acceleration if Shift Cars are on his person or his Core Driviar in his Rider Suit is active.

The Shift Cars give a wide variety of powers:

Flame Generation and projectiles

Ninja based-powers such as cloning jitsu and throwing shuriken construct projectiles

Spike projectile shooting

Entrapment of an enemy via a cage.

Twin Shields, Playing card projectiles and smokescreen/Coin projectiles, the coin ones depend on Drive’s luck though.

Teleports a fraction of Drive’s Body to another area or creates portals.

Enhanced power and defense

Gives Drive analytical power, enhanced reflexes and the ability to multitask and detect enemies from behind him.

Enhanced Super Speed with rocket boosters and more power. Able to resist Super Heavy Acceleration.

Healing Factor, albeit a very painful one.

Self-repair to Drive’s armor

Nitro power boost to enhance speed

Hologram projections

A Drill that can pierce the Roidmudes!

Light projection to blind enemies

Grappling hook!

Spanner fist

chomping claws and elastic “tongue” on the claws.

freezing blast ability

Cement gun

Fire extinguisher and extendable robotic arm

Acme 10 ton weight and gravity distortions

lifting jack

Able to fuse the power of 3 Shift cars into one super ability or all of them. Able to resist all forms of Heavy Acceleration. Energy Shield

Also, like Fourze, Wizard and Deacde, Drive’s powers are compatible with Super Sentai powers as he can use a Ninninger Nin Shuriken to turn Tridoron into a Zord. Though that was just a one-off thing.

Signature Finishers:

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Full_Throttle_(finisher)

Weaknesses:

A big one is Shinnosuke needs Mr. Belt to transform and given that he is an A.I., that means he is vulnerable to hacking or tampering to make the once friendly scientist into a violent killing machine via evil programming and use Drive’s body in Type Tridoron to hurt others.

The Shift Cars can be captured, immobilized or damaged. In some cases, the villains could even control them and use them against Drive.

Shinnosuke can be killed, even when in Rider form as the battle with Freeze seemingly showed. Meaning a more powerful opponent with devastating firepower can kill Drive if enough effort is put in or he somehow has no access to his defensive abilities. Despite being protected from singularities, he is not entirely immune to distortions in time and can be affected by them. (Though this was a bit inconsistent as he somehow remembered being a hero later when this happened.)

Stronger Heavy Acceleration waves can severely damage Drive or slow him down. But modifications and successions to his base Core Driviar system thanks to Dr. Hendrickson and Rinna in newer forms slowly negates this weakness to the point it is not an issue as he can maintain his movement.

Enemies:

Roidmudes:

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Category%3ARoidmudes

Androids created by Tenjiro Banno and Krim Steinbelt who possess sapient, advanced level intelligence, human mimicry abilities and a wide variety of powers as well as the ability to generate Heavy Acceleration.

In a nice nod to the original Kamen Rider, the low level types of Roidmudes are divided into three of the classic Rider mythology monsters: Bat Type, Spider Type and Cobra Type.

Roidmudes are capable of evolving to even stronger forms: Advanced, Giant, and the rare Super Evolved State, which grant Roidmudes new abilities and greater power and stronger Heavy Acceleration effects. Their goal is to create a utopia for their race by attaining The Promised Number of evolution.

Among the Advanced Roidmudes are several generals/leaders:

Heart

Brain

Medic

Freeze

And their enforcer/reaper: the mysterious Mashin Chaser.

And secretly pulling the strings of these events from the shadows is.....

Tenjuro Banno/Gold Drive:

(The KARR to Krim’s KITT)

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Tenjuro_Banno

Tenjuro Banno was a horrible and insane human being and even worse as an A.I.. An abusive, petty, cold, manipulative, ego-driven, sadistic and narcissistic black soul who believed the world owed him tribute to his “genius”. Seeing those that help him as nothing but pawns, even his own family as his two kids need a therapist after all the stuff he pulled. He is the cause of the first Global Freeze as a “ test experiment” and planned everything, as the rebellion of the Roidmudes was no accident but planned by him.

Like Krim, he uploaded his consciousness into an A.I. after being killed and slowly let his schemes come to fruition, even faking helping and reforming when reunited with his son and Krim to steal more tech Team Drive used and render it useless against him. He even managed to kill a Kamen Rider fans came to like over the course of the series. (I won’t say who though.)

He truly was a villain fans loved to hate for how dirty he played and demented he was, helped by the fact he was played by voice actor Masakazu Morita whom anime fans know can play crazy in a way that gives you shivers. He also was formidable as an evil Kamen Rider as he could pull off a wide array of powers, including swiping the weapons of the heroes away from them via teleport!

Neo-Shade:

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Neo-Shade

A Terrorist group that Shinnouske was trying to track down before the series, they resurfaced in the final episode and were dissolved as their leader was captured. No seeming relation to the real Shade from Kamen Rider G other than its name.

Remember, the world has a drive that goes faster than ever, but as long as you yourself have a drive in life, you can be in Top Gear and go along for the Ride!

Shinnosuke Tomari: A Kamen Rider’s flight into a dangerous world ...the world.... of the Drive Rider. *1980s synth music*

#kamen rider #45th anniversary #kamen rider drive #mr. belt #knight rider #cars #motorcycles #cops #android #kamen rider mach #kiriko shijima #tire koukan #chris peppler #top gear #like a spinning wheel #mashin chaser #roidmudes #stan lee

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cameoamalthea · 7 years

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Half-Dragons

In the DnD campaign my husband is running we are going to visit a village of half-dragons. In D&D a half-dragon is a cross between a dragon and some other unrelated creature. Also in D&D, certain types of dragons are evil.

One of our player characters was given a quest to get black dragon scales and green dragon scales. Rather than fighting one of those types of dragons our party is going to visit the half-dragon village, a commune in the Dark Forest where half-dragons outcast by society have formed a colony/retreat.

Black Dragons: The vile tempered and cruel of all evil dragons. They are sadistic, even preferring to eat sentient beings so they can enjoy their food suffering, and above all love cruelty and hurting others alongside ruin and misfortune.

Green Dragons: The most cunning and treacherous of all evil dragons. They are master manipulators who revel in corrupting people and/or hoarding them like possessions. They enjoy bending others to their will, betraying/tricking others, lying, manipulation, and eating elves.

So these sorts of dragons don’t seem like they would be very good parents or very good romantic partners so that begs a ‘how did that happen?’ For any green or black half dragon and the DM wasn’t sure, so I offered to come up with some back stories.

So if you like messed up back stories, here are our 3 Green Half-Dragons and 1 Black Half-Dragon and 1 White Half-Dragon

Corradinus (Corry) Bognár

Race: Black Half-Dragon, Half-Human

(Warning: This is very dark. TW rape, death, torture, attempted infanticide/child abuse)

Corry’s mother, Lady Ravenna, was the daughter of a powerful noblemen whose father, Count Bognar rebelled against his league lord, the Duke, who then laid seigue to his keep. The war was made worse by flooding, which led to failed harvests and famine. With his people starving, Count Bagnar was forced to surrender and the Duke set fire to keep to teach the Count a lesson about rebellion. The Count’s family, along with a few trusted servants fled, eventually turning to the treacherous swamp lands for refuge from the Duke’s men.

It was there the dragon found them.

Cory’s father, Mergandevinsander, was a black dragon who lived in the dreaded swamp lands which surrounded Count Bognar’s land. Like all black dragons he was evil and sadistic. When he came upon the refuges he killed them. Slowly.

Ravenna watched as her mother was swallowed alive and her nurse-maid half melted by the dragon’s acid breathe. All the while the dragon taunted her of the pain he had in store for her. She tried to bargain with him, promising it the wealth of her father’s keep (and hoping to lead it to the Duke’s forces where one foe might destroy the other at least). The dragon agreed, if only give her false hope. When they returned to the keep it was a ruin and there was nothing there of value. Ravenna saw her father’s head mounted above what was left of the gate and lost all will to live.

“Just kill me” said Ravenna.

“No”

Rather than allowing her to escape her pain Mergandevinsander transformed himself into the likeness of the Duke and raped the girl.

The dragon made the ruins his home, and was soon joined by a band of kobolds who served him there, and kept the girl as a toy for a time. When Ravenna became pregnant he kept her under watch and had his kobolds care for her. He wanted to see her face when the she saw the thing she gave birth too.

When she was closer to the end of her pregnancy he let her go. Let her wander pregnant and cursed, unable to seek help without any who helped her seeing the thing growing inside her.

When her baby was born Ravenna was so horrified at the sight of it she through it into a river. Miraculously, or perhaps due to his black dragon heritage, the baby survived and was found by a Priest of Ilmater.

Given that Ilmater is the god of compassion. The clergy dedicated themselves to providing healing and succor to all in need, whatever the cost to themselves, as they believed life was sacred and that suffering to preserve it was holy. Given that, the priest had pity, even for a child such as this.

With the baby was a scroll, a final letter from his mother asking his forgiveness for what she about to do and explaining the circumstances of his birth.

Corradinus was raised in a monastery as a cleric of Ilmater and later dedicated himself to learning combat so that he could defend the weak, specializing in non-lethal techniques and sparing his opponents pain where possible.

Class: One level of cleric, the rest Monk

Personality:

Although Black Dragons are knows for being the most evil-tempered and vile of all dragons, Dinus is perhaps the most sweet-tempered and kind of all half-dragons. He is generous, friendly and helpful. He is very devoted to his god Ilmater and tries to embody the tenant’s of his faith. He also enjoys the idea of being a dashing hero, favoring a rapier as his weapon and doing his best to be gallant and charming.

Appearance: Think Night-Crawler but black and with scales, and violet eyes

Blerta Song

Race: Half Green Dragon, Half-Gnome

(Warning: Weird Kinks, Sexual Harassment)

Her father, Hamnet Von Kinky-Gnome, had a lot of fetishes (possibly all of them). Being a gnome was fortunate because one of his major kinks was larger women. He also had a thing for scales. It was very fortunate Hamnet lived in a world where larger creatures and sentient creatures with scales existed.

Unfortunately, most creatures don’t enjoy being fetishized, especially not by creepy gnomes.

In many ways, that’s why, the green dragon Verthandantalynx was perfect for Hamnet. When the villagers of Trenahess, who worshipped the green dragon, offered Hamnet as a sacrifice to her, his response was:

“vore me mommy”

Verthandantalynx found this incredibly creepy and off putting, and asked:

“Seriously?What is wrong with you?”

Before clarifying that she wasn’t going to eat him if he was turned on by it (because that would be weird). He informed her that there wasn’t a thing she could do that wouldn’t turn him on.

He then proceeded to tell her how beautiful she was and how wonderful she was in every way. Her vanity, and green dragons are very vain creatures, eventually overcame her discomfort. Although there was no challenge in bending the gnome to her will, having a willing and adoring pet seemed like it could be fun for awhile…

She she laid a clutch of tiny (for her) eggs and sent Hamnet away because he shouldn’t be anywhere near children. Only one of the eggs hatched and from that egg was born a baby green half-dragon. She gave the baby to her followers to raise, and they named her Blerta.

The dragon instructed her worshippers to raise Blerta and make sure ‘she doesn’t turn out like her father.’ So she was raised to be the most proper and pure maiden possible, and as a teenager was given a Paladan who was a member of the order Beloved of Lurue. These followers of the unicorn goddess Lurue take a vow of chastity, and the villagers figured that joining an all female order of virgins sworn to forsake earthly bonds would keep Blerta from turning out like her father.

The Paladan, for her part, thought that adopting a tiny half-dragon girl sounded a lot better than being fed to much less tiny mother. As far as being captured by an evil dragon worshipping cult goes, adopting a teenage girl is not the worst outcome.

Upon learning that the girl’s name was Blerta Song, the Cleric’s unicorn companion, Silver, suggested dropping by the bard’s college to get the girl music lessons, because ‘can you imagine a Bard named Blerta Song?’

Class: Paladan/Bard

Personality: “Lurue teaches that life is there to be lived, and one should live it with zest and flair. Adventures and quests should be taken on a whim and life should be filled with good times and laughter.” Blerta enjoys singing with cute woodland creatures and writing songs about the forest. She is a bit vain, being raised as the sacred child of the dragon her village worshipped and can be bossy. She enjoys attention. However, the core of her religious devotion is goodness, kindness and chastity.

Appearance: Chibi green dragon monster-girl

Midori Takehiko

Race: Half-Green Dragon, Half-High Elf

(Warning: Discussion of Sexuality, strong language)

Midori’s mother was an elven princess named Aoi, who was offered as a sacrifice to the Green Dragon Claugiyliamatar. While green dragons generally enjoy eating elves, Claugiyliamatar was intrigued by Aoi’s fearlessness and cunning. She saw in her a useful servant and the two became fast friends.

In short, they were both cunning, manipulative bitches who likes the idea of power and freedom. Claugiyliamatar could transform a dragon into a human using magic and of all her kind was perhaps the most gifted at changing shape. She took Aoi as a lover, offering whatever form the elf princess preferred. Since Claugiyliamatar could shape shift, when Aoi suggested using a strap-on she simply altered anatomy. This led to a discussion about having children, which Aoi wanted as she liked the idea of having someone who would love her absolutely.

So Midori was born to an evil interspecies lesbian couple and raised to be a cunning princess.

Class: Rogue Assassin/Monk

Personality: Think Loki meets Azula

Appearance: Green Half-Dragon

Thanth Halen

(Half Green Dragon, Half-Human)

(Warning: None really, bad names and kidnapping I guess)

His father, Led Axle Halen, was a famous bard who toured across the land, beloved by all, and his music caught the attention of a Green dragon, Fll'Yissetat, who kidnapped him as her personal pet/music. She herself had once been held captive for a time and informed him that meant she ‘didn’t want to hear him complain about it.’ If he wanted for company, she could give it to him. Since he missed the company of his groupies, he agreed.

Their offspring, Thanth, inherited more human characteristics. He is incredibly muscular and handsome. He also inherited his father’s musical talent.

Class: Bard/Barbarian

Personality: Viking God of Rock

Appearance: Muscular man with long hair, muscular arms, green dragon wings and horns like a green dragon. He is very sexy.

Ed Snowflake

Race: Half White Dragon, Half Orc

No one is quite sure how this happened, as white dragons are feral, vicious and basically animals famed for being really stupid for a dragon. Ed offers no clue as to how his parents met because Ed doesn’t seem to be able to speak. Or at least, if he can speak, he probably doesn’t know very many words.

Class: Barbarian

Personality: Think Ed the Hyena from the Lion King meets the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Toons

Appearance: Imagine a white dragon crossed with an Orc.

#dungeons and dragons

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themadcapmathematician · 7 years

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all i know abt transformers is the shia movie and the fact that darren criss plays one in the cartoons i think? should i get into transformers is what i'm asking

Oh god this is my favorite question. I’m not sure how to answer it but its my fave. Pull up a chair. I hope you’ve got some time on your hands.

The short answer: yes. You should at least give it a try. Transformers is a 30+ year old muti-media franchise that gets rebooted almost every 3 years so it basically has something interesting to offer almost any fan. If you end up not liking it that’s cool but there’s a lot to try before you decide.

The long answer is: yes you should and here’s why and here’s a rough idea of all the options you have to sample. I’m about to go on a long rant anon so you can check it out now or later or whatever but I’m just warning you ahead of time.

The basic Transformers plot (which I’m sure you know but I’m gonna go more in depth in a minute) is that a race of giant robot aliens who can turn into vehicles and other things have been engaged in a civil war that has lasted millions of years. This is the basic plot that all tf franchises spawn from although some explore slightly different subject matters. If that doesn’t appeal to you I mean there /might/ be a few other things you might find worth sticking around for because there’s just so fucking much of it, but you’re welcome to turn back now because that’s the basic things tf has to offer: giant robot aliens, cars and planes, fighting, some drama. Those are what tf is best at, with some variation.

It has a very active and long lived fan base and each section of the fan base is interested in different stuff with some crossover. There are people who literally only care about collecting the toys, people who wont try any other series except g1, people who only like the comics, etc. Etc. You’ll probably find people who like what you do pretty readily. If you like the toys there are toy forums and blogs. If you like the cartoons there are forums and blogs made for that too. If you like the comics, same. There’s a pretty active following of the comics and cartoon series on Tumblr alone; I would try searching the #maccadam tag since most tf activity has been moved there since the bay movies came out. Id also use the tf wiki liberally because it has pm all the information you’ll need to know about the fandom and the canon lore. There’s also plenty of fan fiction on Ao3 and ff.net if you’re into that and pm anyplace that hosts fan art has tf fan art.

Now there are several series, including comics, cartoons, the Michael bay films, the cartoon movie, spin off books, and video games. I’m gonna go over my personal favorites because I like and know them best but there are more than these if you’re interested in digging deeper.

(More under the cut)

G1: there are a lot of forms of what fans refer to as Generation 1 or G1 but if you live in the US its likely they’re talking about the very first cartoon series.

Summary: the autobots and the decepticons stripped their planet of resources and went looking for a new planet to continue surviving on. They both crashlanded on earth where they lay dormant for millions of years until conveniently awakened somewhere during the 1980s, where they continue their war all over again

Why you should try it: listen its cheesy as hell and full of nonsense plotlines and animation errors but not only is it good fun but at least watching an episode or two might give you a decent grasp on what spawned this enormous franchise in the first place.

G1 movie: this movie was a game changer. Its technically right in the middle of the g1 cartoon but it works as a standalone film too. while it has many trappings of the cartoon its better animated and has a more consistent and dramatic story.

Summary: Optimus Prime and Megatron fight, OP dies (yes he fucking DIES for the very first time. thousands of 10 year olds bawl their eyes out), Megatron gets mortally wounded, and the Matrix of Leadership (aka an autobot holy item/macguffin [this is the proto-cube btw]) has to choose a new leader.

Why you should try it: decent animation, classics lines, tons of 80s rock music, and it establishes a lot of tf conventions that would be carried over to all series that come after it.

Beast Wars: haha the 90s couldn’t be left out of the transformers fun, now could it? This was one of the first all-cg cartoon series in history and while its not much to look at nowadays, it was a big step in the 90s.

Summary: the series doesn’t center on Optimus Prime and Megatron but their decendants. The war is long over but some factions are starting to clash once again. Several members of these factions do the whole “crash land on earth while fighting” thing except they wake up during times before humans and instead of taking vehicle modes, they take animal forms, thus the name.

Why you should give it a try: it establishes the idea of Sparks for the first time, it has historical significance in the cgi realm, and it has a decent storyline with interesting characters. If you can muscle through the 90s-computer-animation look it might be the show for you!

Transformers: Animated: I dont think its a secret that this is one of my favorite tf series of all times. It was the first cartoon series I ever watched of tf and it also features my favorite toy line.

Summary: Optimus Prime is much less a war hero and more of a ..janitor really. He flunked out of the academy and spends his time repairing space bridges. One time during repairs though, they stumble across the Cube and just their luck, Megatron and some nearby cons are looking for it. They portal away to earth where they, you guessed it, crashland, until they’re awoken sometime in the future and go on adventures in futuristic Detroit.

Why you should give it a try: I like tfa’s art style and story and characterisation best tbh; Optimus is younger and more unsure of himself but also more earnest, with more visible baggage. The rest of his team feel like a ragtag band of misfits (which I have a weakness for no lie lmfao) who are still trying to find their place in this conflict and the future ahead of them. Sari is also one of the more beloved human companions and the show’s take on classics characters feels fresh and interesting, and the interpretation of the autobots and decepticons themselves is surprisingly nuanced.

Transformers: Prime: remember that 90s animation? Kiss that shit good bye my friend. This cgi is some beautiful shit. More than a few fans wish tfp is the art direction the movies had taken, storyline aside.

Summary: the autobots are already on earth, staking it out and fighting a more subdued sort of conflict with the cons. One day they get some human kids involved and stumble across some conspiracy shit and it all spirals out of control from there.

Why you should give it a try: great animation and atmosphere, gorgeous character designs, a solid interpretation go the characters, and it offers a more serious take on the story over all.

Rescue Bots: I’ve noticed this show doesn’t make the list a lot which is a shame? It has a much younger audience than any of then other series but its still quality and one of my fave tf series.

Summary: the ship of four non-combatants who were left in stasis before the war detect a transmission telling autobots to go to earth, so it…goes to earth. There they wake up on some island and are told they’ve gotta start building a repatoire with the native species…but they can’t reveal that they’re sentient aliens yet.

Why you should give it a try: ok ok, most of the series are made for 7-12 year olds with the teen and adult fans sort of in mind, this show…is a show made for pre-K kids, no joke. Its a lot less…murder-y, and this is especially saying something because it came out at the same time TFP did and in fact is supposed to take place in the same universe!

BUT, but it has a consistently well-written story and characterization, it addresses stuff I never thought it would, and its a nice break from the ridiculously high stakes of the other series. Honestly Rescue Bots is great and I wish more people talked about it because its a series totally worth watching, certainly as much as any of the others.

More Than Meets the Eye comics: there are a lot of comic series but so far this is my favorite one lol

Summary: the war is over, Optimus is done with everyone’s shit and splits the matrix in half, giving one to rodimus and they other to bumblebee. And what does roddy do with his newfound matrix half? Decide he’s going on a quest of course! And who better to go with than literally every unqualified misfit the autobot and neutral factions have to offer?

Why you should give it a try: ridiculous shenanigans, horror, drama, intrigue, strong characterisation, and a killer aesthetic. Damn it may not always give me what I want but its got a lot of exactly what I’m always looking for.

There are some video games (Fall of Cybertron, War For Cybertron, Transformers: Devastation), other comic series (Robots in Disguise, G1/UK comics), and the Robots in Disguise cartoon, however I don’t have a decent enough grasp on them to describe them super well I just know they’re pretty good and have had people recommend them to me. You’re welcome to try those as well of course.

Also if you’re into toy collecting or want to get into it there’s a lot of materials you can read and such but my personal advice is pretty simple:

1) go to walmart, target, a store that sells collectibles, a convention, or a garage sale

2) buy a cheap toy that you like. Don’t spend over like $20

3) decide if that was a fun experience or not and if you like having this toy or not

If you liked it enough to keep buying, then congrats, toy collecting might be right for you! Do your research, Don’t blow too much money too quickly, take it easy, have fun.

But yeah sorry this is really long but I do hope you consider giving transformers a try since I know I love it a lot and it really has a lot to offer. I hope this wasn’t like…a crazy response. That a crazy person might give. And that I didn’t scare you away or anything XS

the key is to try some stuff and have fun and if its not your thing that’s cool too! Have a chill night anon

#transformers #maccadam #anon #madcap rants #madcap replies #tf #info

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duaneodavila · 6 years

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Where Did All The Dad’s Go?

How did “make your bed” become a philosophical tenet? Why do young men need a guru to tell them this? Jordan Peterson has become a father figure to what I snarkily call the “lost boys,” espousing generally fine ideas of personal responsibility and maturity. Make you bed, clean your room, are among them.

You need to be told this?*

For the most part, Peterson’s advice is banal. Not wrong, necessarily, but banal. And as a result, he’s gained a significant and loyal following. On the one hand, it’s good that someone is telling young men to grow up, put away their childish toys and do big boy things like make their bed. I have no particularly issue with Jordan Peterson’s advice here. And as the insipid will respond if you question anything about Peterson’s fans, why undermine someone giving young men positive advice?

Dear Lost Boys,

Grow the fuck up. If you need Jordan Peterson to tell you this, there may be no hope for you.

Love, Dad https://t.co/kbyomRvCVR

— Scott Greenfield (@ScottGreenfield) May 20, 2018

While most people got the message, there are invariably going to be dolts who either can’t read or can’t grasp the point. If this is reminiscent of the reaction of SJWs to any challenge to their ideology, that’s because it’s no different. Dogmatic people gonna dogmatic. The breadth of ignorance on the twitters makes stupid responses inevitable, and the demands of antagonistic narcissists go beyond the amount of effort and attention I’m inclined to allow.

But the bottom line question is why young men need to be told to clean their rooms. Why they need a guru to tell them to do so. What has happened to young people, as this is just the male side of the equation, with the female side absorbed in its own childish ideology, that they fail to grow up sufficiently on their own to perform the mundane tasks of maturation?

The most common response is that the boys in need of Peterson’s advice are fatherless. After all, the divorce rate hovers around 50%, certainly far higher than in earlier generations. It’s not a particularly convincing argument in a vacuum, as fathers don’t disappear in divorce. They’re still around, even if not living with their children because the Patriarchy, and their duty to provide fatherly guidance doesn’t change.

But that’s the least of it. In the last century, we’ve been through a number of wars from which fathers didn’t return. World War I, II, Korea, Vietnam. Many died leaving their sons behind, fatherless. Yet, their sons managed to grow up despite never having a guru to tell them to make their bed.

Then there is the helicopter parent explanation, that the generation of parents, or mothers if we’re still talking about the divorce rate, maintain such a level of micromanagement over their children that they never have to make their bed. Leave it alone and mommy will do it for you, and thus there’s no reason to give it a second thought.

This is certainly a deeply counterproductive phenomenon, even if helicopter parents just can’t bear to have expectations of their beloved little darling, but still fails to explain why the kids, even without anyone providing instructions, don’t have a desire to grow up, take control of their lives and, well, make their bed.

As a teenager, the thing I wanted to do more than anything was get the hell out of Dodge. I left home at 17 and never returned. There was never a thought of wanting to perpetuate my adolescence as long as possible. I wanted to be on my own. Everyone I knew wanted to be on their own. Everyone wanted to grow up.

No one asked permission. No one needed anyone to tell them how to do it. And despite the fantasy understanding of how things were back then, our parents had very little to do with our lives. The idea of my mother driving me to school was laughable. Our discussion was largely limited to “go outside and play and be home by dinner,” which was a TV dinner if I was lucky.

My father loves to tell the story of his return from World War II. On his first day home, his parents made him a celebratory dinner. On the morning of the second day, his father woke him up early, disassembled his bed and through it out on the front lawn. He then told him it was time to start his life. And he did. Granted, that couldn’t happen today, but the idea was that there was no life advice given beyond “grow up.” Somehow, he managed.

Yet, the lost boys vehemently insist that they need Jordan Peterson, or someone like him, to tell them to make their bed or they could never figure it out on their own. I reiterate, this isn’t a slam on either Peterson or the advice he offers. Nor is it a denunciation of his fanboys for appreciating his advice, even though some aren’t the sharpest knives in the draw.

Rather, this poses the question of how putatively sentient human beings can’t figure out, on their own, that they need to grow up, to make their bed? This isn’t hard stuff, or is it? Has the utterly banal become too difficult to fathom for young men today?

Having given plenty of space to the damage pseudo-feminism has done to young women, the absurdity of some boy arguing the requisite virtue of a guru to provide them with a roadmap to basic maturity needs to be confronted. I am glad you have a guru, a Jordan Peterson, to tell you to make your bed, because it is horrifying that you wouldn’t without being so instructed.

But at the same time, I am trying to maintain sufficient faith in male humanity to believe that you have the capacity to figure this out on your own, without a guru explaining it to you. Humanity has managed to survive for a long time without a 12-step program for growing up.

Have we now reached that point where the lost boys can’t possibly manage without it? If there is no dad, there was no Jordan Peterson, to tell you to zip up your fly or wipe your tushy, would you not know what to do? Lost boys, do you really need to be told to make your bed?

*There are, of course, higher order aspects to maturity for which instruction is warranted. Which fork to use, for example. But this is about the most fundamental, most obvious, least sophisticated of notions. Clean your room. Make your bed. This is not higher order stuff.

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