#stop trying to make buddie happening
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sorry in advance if i come off degrading or rude here (not my intention at all) but i'm sending this to you because you mentioned fictional narrative re: buddie, so i wanna add my thoughts about plausibility in relation to narrative format and medium conventions. long rant & full disclosure, i just watched 911, so i don't know how the conversation around this was pre-tommy but i don't understand how people thought/think it's a slowburn romance arc they were building with buddie that could actually happen. literally no romantic relationship on this show has been slowburn because it's just not how procedural shows of this kind are written. bathena barely interacts in s1 and were put together in a couple episodes. madney are only friends for five episodes or so. none of buck and eddie's relationships have build-up that lasts more than a few eps. the closest i can think of is buck and abby and even that wasn't much. i just don't think it's the nature of these type of shows, with the exception of something like the show castle where two main leads are set up as one day becoming romantic, to give breathing room for romance to go from zero to established. they're written in on-average 6-episode arcs and planned according to audience response, this is basically how every aspect of these shows work including the romantic plots.
which brings me to my second point you already touched a little bit: medium conventions but especially in relation to queer rep. when we have queer rep in these type of mainstream shows they're rarely stories about bi/gay awakening. double gay awakening? honestly, i don't remember a single show where something like this happened. i'm shocked we even got bi buck AT ALL because nominally straight hot guy main character getting confirmed as queer rarely happens. i kinda find the notion of people genuinely expecting this to happen with two main characters over seasons-long burn kind of laughable. and don't get me wrong, i understand why people love the idea, i'm myself a slow-burn building-a-bond-before-romance type of gal but i just don't think that type of queer story would ever work in a format like this, considering the average audience. look at something like 911ls for example, carlos and tk are both openly gay and start having sex on ep 2 and are boyfriends by ep 10 - that's the space queer stories currently hold in mainstream media. where it's made clear from the start and executed quickly over a few eps (not saying there's no further story with them, i just mean the relationship development). so yeah i don't think buddie was ever an option for the writers beyond being aware of the interest in it which is objectively very small compared to the millions of people watching this show. tldr: i think being ship-baited by a mainstream procedural show on fox is like going to the hardware store and asking for milkshake.
Okay, so I don't agree that slow burns aren't possible at all on shows like 911. Afaik, that popular ship on the Rookie also took several seasons, and there are many more shows that had a "will they, won't they?" situation with two main characters. Sure, it's much more difficult to write, plan and pull through, but it does get done.
Many people were hoping Buddie was FINALLY gonna be a queer version of that trope, and the thing is, there was enough subtext in the previous few seasons to support it. There were scenes that were shot and composed with commonly used cinematographic and contextual tropes that are usually used for romantic couples; there was all that stuff with Eddie having panic attacks over Ana, seeming very distanced with her, Carla's "Make sure you follow your heart, not Christopher's", and much more.
I do believe that backdoor was always open a tiny crack wide, and the writers were aware of it being a tiny, tiny option and therefore included all these little bits that would later make it plausible. There were interviews in the past with Tim where he even hinted at something like that, or left the option open; and there were other writers and directors who also subtly confirmed some subtext. It was never explicitly spelled out but hinted at.
So I'm pretty convinced that it at least was some level of consideration, in the past - always with a tiny probability to become possible, but it WAS there. (And before anyone reading this says "oh so that WAS ship baiting?" Nope, it wasn't. Giving yourself the option to maaaaybe do something in the future as a writer is normal procedure.)
Also, just because something was never done before (i.e. a queer slow burn) doesn't mean it'll never get done. It just makes it a lot less likely and subject to MANY external factors.
But yeah, I definitely agree that putting TWO queer awakening arcs around main characters into the story is extremely unlikely to ever happen on a show like this. And actually, we kinda already had two: the show started with Michael coming out to Athena. So yeah, even though we were thrown into the last stage/aftermath of that arc in s1 rather than seeing it play out from the start of its development, we had that.
#buddie but platonic#fandom discourse#kinda#stop trying to make buddie happening#It's NOT going to happen#I'd say sadly#but I'm grateful for#bucktommy#firepilot#buck will always be bisexual#nobody can take that away#and I'm more than happy about it#911
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Kinda the best thing to come out of the "Buck is not Chris' father figure" discourse
#stop trying to make fetch happen it's not going to happen (fetch is buck not being chris' dad)#christopher diaz#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buckley diaz family#the buckley diaz family#buddie#911#911 abc
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We’re totally getting Tommy saying something about Eddie ‘being around all the time’ aren’t we!
#and buck will try to tell Tommy that Eddie’s not in a great place right now#and Tommy will say yes but Evan we need time for just us and buck will agree#and he’ll start to stop inviting Eddie to everything#creating a distance between them#and Eddie will have his spiral about Catholicism and being gay#and buck will figure out that Tommy is Eddie lite and that actually that’s not what he wants#that he wants what he’s had with Eddie all along - family and home and having each others back#and he’ll never have that with Tommy#but eddie is straight so is it better to be with Tommy and try to make it work even if it’s not what he wants#meanwhile eddie will go to Texas as part of his journey - he’ll reunite with Chris and they will heal#and Eddie will come out#buck will miss Eddie while he’s gone and break things off with Tommy because it’s not what he wants and it’s not fair to lead Tommy on#Eddie and Chris come home and buck and Eddie fall back into what they were before only it’s slightly to the left - it’s more flirty and#the space that had grown between them is closed and they’re more in sync than ever before#and then something happens that leads to confessions and they get together#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#anti bucktommy#buddie#Tommy is a plot device
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call me crazy but i thought of a parallel i didn’t notice before
in the s4 episode treasure hunt, when they’re all teaming up to secretly look for the treasure, Eddie asks Buck to team up with him but he’s already teamed up with Taylor.
in s7 Eddie asks Buck to go to the bachelor party as Crockett and Tubbs, Buck doesn’t think for a second before saying absolutely, despite the fact that he’s currently dating someone he could wear a couples costume with instead.
#i’m reaching again i know#but he said this season would parallel s4 and i’m not seeing it#i’m trying so hard to see it#i’m overthinking everything now#buddie#911#911 on abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 buddie#i can’t stop imagining a parallel to the last episode of s4#when taylor runs out but he doesn’t follow because ana calls about eddie#idk what would lead up to it but parallel scene when he had to walk away from tommy to check on eddie/christopher?#that would give me life actually#like maybe tommy comes over to tell him “hey man i think you have feelings for your bestie and he’s like what man no way#but then runs out the second he gets a call from eddie#he doesn’t get time to think about it so then we get feelings realization a little while later#it would be great#and i know it won’t happen probs#but if i just keep making wild predictions maybe one of them will be right eventually
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firm believer there was no bedding ceremony when helaena and aegon married because she would cry and possibly kill someone
#SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE??? BEING LOUD??? /TOUCHING/ HER???? BEING UNDRESSED BY RANDOM MEN????? a hell designed personally for her tbh#sorry if you wanted all the court ladies undressing you aegon. maybe you can have your bedding ceremony while she's safely escorted to bed#if they had it happen she'd try to endure for all of 3 seconds (she'd cry) before violently shoving people away#if anyone tried to prevent her from running it would get worse and she won't apologize for making lord whoever bleed by scratching his face#she'll not apologize if dreamfyre flies too close to the castle like 'HEY BUDDIES WHY IS MY RIDER IN DISTRESS THESE WALLS CAN'T STOP ME!!!'#anyway daily reminder westeros is gross ig#i want to have enough faith in her family that they'd know it wouldn't go well and plan to spare her that from the start#because yeah it wouldn't go well#(the worst part is that me as a person who doesn't write viserys or alicent - disclaimer over - thinking about it#i can see alicent making the case for it not to happen and viserys just being like *handwave* all girls are shy about it it's normal)#anyway yeah any crusty old man tries to touch her helaena will hiss at him like a cat#also run to the nearest source of safety tbh#aemond 🥺 ser criston 🥺 mom 🥺 pls help#* out of character: { dreamfyre stan }
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joking saying triceratops and eddie fuck in that man’s past - time to grab the bleach i’m tired
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A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)
I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks
#history media#this was written months ago im posting it to get it out of my drafts#it wasn't necessarily BAD. it was generic and readable. but it was very disappointing and misleading and its conclusion was just nonsense#listen I have no patience for the dumbfuck idea that edward somehow had the ultimate responsibility for his own son's deposition because#of his 'policies' during his reign. like I said it's based fully on hindsight and entirely devoid of actual context. it's bafflingly stupid#literally everyone expected Edward V to succeed his father and 'both hoped for and expected' (Croyland's own words) a successful reign#Edward V's deposition was richard and solely Richard's fault lol this should not be difficult to understand#the reason Richard's usurpation was possible in the first place was bcause everyone expected E5 to succeed and didn't expect Richard#do to what he did. nothing would have happened without his initiative and decisions. it had nothing to do with Edward's 'policies'#Edward's policies were fine. henry vii - who pollard vaunts to no end - literally *followed* them#and claiming that he failed to unite England under the Yorkist dynasty is just plain stupid#buddy if he truly failed at that then neither Richard III nor Henry VII would have thrones lol. both emphasized continuity with#him when aiming for the throne. like the whole point of 1483-85 was that it was a conflict WITHIN the 'Yorkist' dynasty#it was not an external threat against it.#'his legacy failed' his legacy didn't fail his brother destroyed it (while also presenting himself as his heir because logic what's logic?)#henry's victory was very much the triumph of his legacy (a claimant chosen by his supporters as the husband of his daughter)#like this is really not my interpretation it is literally what happened#i'm not trying to glorify e4 but his son did inherit the throne in a more advantageous circumstances than any other minor king of england#and frankly than most other adult kings. dumping blame on Edward's literal corpse rather than acknowledge Richard's agency is so tasteless#the problem isn't that edward made a mistake in trusting his brother. many other kings including Henry V also trusted theirs.#the problem is that his brother was willing to break that trust in a way that was unprecedented and broke all political norms of that age#ie: Richard's usurpation occurred because of Richard who re-ignited conflict to make himself king. please drill this into your head#also btw this illogical 'interpretation' is based entirely on Charles Ross' hatred and derision towards Elizabeth Woodville and her family#if you agree with this inteterpretation you agree with his vilification of them 🤷🏻♀️#anyway if you want a better interpretation that's actually analytical and looks a relevant rather than a flawed retrospective perspective#i would recommend rosemary horrox's 'richard iii: a study of service' and david horspool's 'richard iii: a ruler and his reputation'#anyway one last time: STOP downplaying Richard's agency and actions. historians who do this are stupid and embarrassing. bye.#(i should really post horspool's glorious takedown of ross and Pollard huh? it was very entertaining to read)
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random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently
#mar.txt#it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one#maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get#maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important.#maybe it's just the all-consuming,gaping hole of loneliness within me#idk.#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it#feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction#a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro,but willing to be in a relationship provided the other#person isn't bothered by them being aro,bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings#i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the#only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of#actually caring#'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things#because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they#could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting)#and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends#the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to#me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance#i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad.#to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much.#i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's#most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love,yeah? ha.#maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships,#those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have.#anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the#burden of feeling such intense,suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly.#i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.
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yesterday at work, the kids had to like, make their own puzzles by drawing stuff on paper n then cutting them into pieces n stuff, n this one kid came up to me saying that the kid sitting next to him was saying mean things, n the second kid was like, "it wasn't me, it was him!" n pointed at the creature he'd drawn for his puzzle.
i didn't really know how to handle the situation (though thinking about it, i probably should have just said that just bc the creature was saying mean things abt his friend didn't mean he was in the right for passing on those thoughts), so i just told him i didn't want to solve his puzzle if the creature it featured was gong to be so mean to other people, and for some reason it worked??
i guess it's just easy to forget how deeply children care about what adults think bc of how we as adults have learned to not care so much abt what other people think and operate on the assumption that others don't automatically care abt our thoughts.
#the worm speaks#it felt difficult to handle in the moment bc i don't want to stifle children's compulsion to explore ideas n concepts through fiction#specifically bc fiction and fantasy are very harmless spaces; but obviously what was being made was being used as a vehicle to bully others#and that was absolutely in need of correcting#and i wasn't sure how to reprimand that w/o possibly teaching kids to conflate something bad happening in fantasy#with doing bad things to others in reality#anyway thinking abt it today when making this post helped me pinpoint how to handle it next time#i.e. that kids are agents in their own right and they have the choice to pass things on to others#whether that be something kind and true like compliments; or mean and vicious like bullying; or even literal germs and disease!!#anyway the second kid actually seemed really nice once i insisted that i didn't want to do his puzzle bc it featured something mean#n like obviously i didn't want to tell kids that the things they make up are automatically reflections of the kind of person THEY are#bc that's super not true!!! but i poked abt asking him a couple questions abt it n that's how he ended up telling me 'he told me to say it'#'he lives inside of my head' n i was like 'hmm.' bc he's pretty young... first grade i think? so maybe a reflection of meaner impulses#but i'm not him! i can't say that for certain! n i don't believe in making those kinds of assumptions about people#so i guess the way i handled it was basically saying i didn't want to interact w/people who are influenced by others to be mean#i guess i'm always expecting to be working w/teenagers who'd be like 'you don't get it! i'm gonna make my own choices!'#n i'd be like 'yep sure buddy i'm not gonna stop you! but i'm setting my boundaries right here'#i have a bit of beef with how some of my coworkers treat kids-- like none of them are outright cruel i think#but i don't think some of them are being genuinely responsible with how they interact. i think it's good that they all try to be nice#n some take that to mean 'treat them like your friends!' (proceeds to gaslight kids abt whether a certain snack was available)#(n when the kids called them out they were like 'we're teaching kids to think for themselves! n to be confident in their own experiences')#like. i don't think that picking out the snacks you like before feeding the kids is right. we are not kings; we are caretakers#n like i can see how that can be kind of a joke one might make in certain flavors of friend groups but like. certainly not to a child.#one plays obvious favorites; others place restrictions w/o explaining why they're there (bc they're obvious to adults)#n tbh i'm probably a headache myself bc i'm ~probably~ enabling kids in some way so i'm not gonna condemn the ones who#tell kids 'no you can't do that' w/o much explanation. n i think for the most part they're all trying#but i STILL disagree w/my now-gone supervisor who insisted that i treat kids the way i do 'bc it's in my nature/personality'#it most CERTAINLY is not!!!!! i was SUCH a hater of ANYONE younger than me for a LONG TIME growing up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i had to be TAUGHT these things. i had to LEARN to LISTEN to kids and take them seriously!!!!!!!!!#a kid on friday told me he had mixed feelings abt some of his older friends possibly becoming youth workers at the camp in the summer
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I am so fucking glad this actually returned what I was trying to say while writing tags about Law's kickass outfits because the unhelpful instamash mix I disrespectfully call a brain was supplementing all the wrong words and I didn't feel like finding that one writing thesaurus site on mobile
#My brain does this ALL THE TIME ITS SO ANNOYING#Like no buddy!!! Those are the wrong words stop it!!!#Today I forgot the word for syllable. My brain would not stop saying 'consonant' when that's not what I wanted and I knew that wasn't it#It's so frustrating#Because like. I *know* the words. I*know* I know the words. So Why. Why. Why. Can't you just remember them correctly. Ever.#It makes writing so difficult because once I'm knocked out of that flow state by searching stuff I'm never getting back#It's the same with like CS stuff. I *KNOW* these things. So Why can my brain just decide to conveniently forget the instant#I actually NEED to remember the information. Like 'whoops teehee'#'yeah those documents u wanted that were taking up space on my desk forever and ever? I JUST shredded them'#So I spend 48 hours stomping around rewriting all the paperwork and then when the task is done and over with#THEN ITS LIKE 'oh so I found a copy on one drive because it made an automatic backup but nobody uses or likes onedrive so I didn't see it'#WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS BRAIN#Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa-#Anyway. I thought this was mildly humorous I'm not actually That Frustrated about what just happened#It's more of just a general frustration with how my brain functions bc like. Come on#I put so much work in to learn and memorize all this stuff and it just takes it throws it out the window#It's very much a 'why should I even bother trying at this point' scenario for me#Cruddy rambles#Obviously apathy will get me nowhere. But it's extremely hard to stay positive when I legit just forget I need to do that :/
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ok i caught up in bnha anime & hmshnghmsng i like fucked up angsty nightmare deku....... motherfucker doesn't sleep...... hasn't showered in weeks..... stopped eating all might's bentos, gloves are morphing into literal claws for some fucking reasoHe's becoming For Real feral. he has fleas. fucking Creatre. Gettem, Boys
#i cant stop laughing that the entirety of class a showed up to collectively beat his ass for trying to drop out of school#this bitch was abt to die 20 seconds ago to a mob of random civilians w knives & now hes like I Will Defeat 18 Competent Heroes In Training#SCREAMING deku pls take a goddamn nap im Begging u hot topic is about to fucking sue u#and apologize to all might Right Fucking Now#SMH.........#retag later#bnha blogging#bnha spoilers#U___U I Am Not Immune To Self-Sacrificing Protagonists U___U This Is Not A Self-Sacrificing Protag Liker-Free Space U___U#also fucking. ive been watching spongebob speedruns and the fucking#when deku was using that one quirk that lets u store kinetic energy or w/e & release it all at once later#i was like ah yes. like spongeball storage#defeat all for one using the sickest speed strats#absolutely love btw. the one for all predecessors telling him hey buddy hey my guy ur body is goingto explode if u use the quirks like thi#deku (furiously squatting just absolutely going ham on those quads): read ✔️#im gonna yell im so excited for whatever happens next Get his ass!!!!!! make him brush his teeth HELL YA#get this bitch a fucking snickers for GODs sake
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damn the 911 episode 2x05 Awful People really fucks right now
#DISCOURSE DISCOURSE DISCOURSE#its kinda funny that there's all this discourse thats happening about people being awful for no reason#when we literally have an episode that is about that particular topic where the conclusion is yes there are bad people who do bad things#that dont make sense that might piss you off. but focusing only on those awful peoples awful actions is not productive#and only ends up making you awful in return#and that as many awful people as there are in the world. there are just as many good people who want to be kind and who try their best#idk idk i wish everyone in this fandom would take a deep breath and stop getting so caught up in toxic discourse and impossible what ifs#most bucktommy and buddie people are kissing each other on the mouths there is so much overlap there#since when do we put that much stake in what actors do in relation to shipping#like. idk that guy. i just know the guy he pretends to be sometimes to get paid.#idk idk#911 abc
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The sheer "oh nooooo" comedy of this conversation between Philippe d'Orléans and his friend Saint-Simon though, it's been weeks since i read it and im still thinking about it
Philippe, sitting at his desk with his head in his hands, absolutely dead inside: i'm so burned out, all i do is work all the time and im so tired, i miss my home in Paris and my art and my friends, Versailles is so boring i actually hate it here, i want out of this job :c
Saint-Simon, looking real hype : but all that work is so important! Think of your country!!! no pressure but people need you so, so much!! anyways, why dont you go spend some time with that wife you dont like, that'll cheer you up :D
#Philippe II d'Orléans#between this and the time Philippe had to assign people bathroom buddies for Strategic Political Reasons everything was happening so much#completely redecorating a whole room in secret in the middle of the night Also for strategic political reasons#Philippe waffling about on this brand new alliance with England non-stop#and Dubois trying so so hard to make this work but also being super sick The Entire Time#Philippe teaching Louis XV all sorts of useful stuff about How To Be King#but also devoting an entire day to a lesson about Here's Why This One Guy Sucks And Why You Shouldnt Keep Him Around Once You're King#all im saying is sure lots of important stuff happened but. the shenanigans
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buck and tommy is like fetch
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When Katsuki got hit with a quirk, that made him tell what he actually thinks it felt like the world stopped, well for him.
You were trying so hard to maintain your composure when he sprinted into your room with his hand over his mouth.
"What happened?" You asked, and he wrote it down in a paper you had on your desk. "Got hit by a quirk, and I can't stop saying shit," you read and quirked your brow at him "shit like what?"
Real shit
You read and huffed at him while he still couldn't take off his hand of his mouth.
"Just stay like that and don't move. Did they tell you how long it will last?" He denied with his head, and you scratched the back of your neck. "Well, I'll do the talking then. You just have to listen"
He rolled his eyes at you. He didn't mind listening to you talk, but he did mind making the effort to not answer you back to keep the conversation on. For the last years, he realized that it was easy having a friendship with you, and lately, after you two started a friendship with benefits, fuck buddies, he felt in sync with you most of the time.
"How did you end up getting hit with that? Oh no, don't say anything, " you giggled when you looked at his face. He was actually suffering. It was a mixture between suffering and incredulity.
It was easy for you to have him around. You wouldn't deny the fact that your friendship with him had been growing in a way you never expected. Fulfilling some sort of comfort that you never had with anyone.
"Have you seen the others? Kirishima or Kaminari?" You asked while he was practically dead in your bed. You started folding your clothes, waiting for his response, but it never came. "I think you can answer me with yes or no without spilling something juicy"
He quirked a brow at you, holding his upper body on his elbows.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. If you are afraid to talk, there must be something really juicy on your mind that you don't want us to know. " his eyes got plastered in yours, and your eyes widen in sudden realization. "It's not us. You don't want me to know"
He panicked.
He knew you well. He knew that when you have something in mind, there is no human or extraterrestrial force to take it off. You won't drop the topic, uh-uh, you'll push it out of his system, you will bend him until he cracks, and now, with his incapability to talk, he was clearly in disadvantage.
"C'mon Katsuki, I'm your dearest and longest friend, we've been since high school, you know you can tell me anything." You pushed his buttons. The clothes you were folding laid discarded on the opposite side of the room while you approached him slowly like a predator chased its prey.
He needed to keep it cool. He needed to remain strong. The mantra kept playing in his head, and it worked for a while until he saw you kneeling in front of him in a position he knew very well. Fuck you.
"Don't look at me like that," you faked innocence. "I'm just using all the options I have"
You weren't going to do anything.
The look on his face was the main reason you stepped up your game. You threw your hands above his thigh, touching and squeezing the fat of them in a sexy way, very subtly. He flinched at the sudden contact, and you could swear that you saw a drop of sweat forming in the line of his hair.
"You don't need to talk while I blow you, do you?"
He grew impatiently seeing you there, your doe eyes, and your playful smile, meaning nothing but trouble.
You bit your lower lip in between your teeth at the sight of his growing bulge. It was getting out of hand, and you needed to bail before it evolved in something you wouldn't be able to stop.
"I'm just messing with you, relax." You left a tiny squeeze above his knee cap and pretended that it was just a game you were playing and not something that was getting you in the mood.
You weren't a masochist and he was your best friend.
You were preparing yourself to stand again when he, in a sudden and fast movement, grabbed you by the back of your thighs and pulled you toward him.
Your face was mere inches from his face, and your legs were now straddling his figure.
"What are you-"
The blood on your body rose and accumulated in your cheeks. It wasn't a weird position for you, but it was the intense look of his face that got you trembling under his touch.
"You fucking asked for it" he growled lowly. A tiny but strong spark went down on your spine, making you shiver. "Now shut up and listen for once, I don't know whats happening between you and me but lately I've been craving you even more, your skin, your kisses, when you bite my lip and scream my name when I'm inside of you"
His minty breath was fanning above your lips, and his crimson eyes never left yours.
"But that isn't enough anymore"
That sentence snapped your senses again. You regained control of your factions and your brows knitted together at the sudden feeling of losing him.
"What do you mean with that"
The bold you that was eager to get the information from him at any cost shrinked. It was the end of you two. Memories and images passed through your mind like a movie, and when you were about to tear up, he pinched your hip.
You glanced at him through wet lashes. He took a deep breath and smirked. If he was nervous, he never showed.
"I need more. I need you with me in the mornings, I need you with me throughout the day, I need you chopping my ear off every time you get excited with something, I want to watch every shitty reality you want to watch, I want you to scold me everytime I say something mean about our friends and I need to see you here everyday when I come home. I want you to stay and not leave, " he puked the words to you. His pupils were dilated, moving from one side to another, looking for a reaction from you. You were shocked.
He closed his eyes, thinking he screwed it. It was done, and if it was done, he would leave completely empty.
"I just want to cuddle with you after we have sex, I really like feeling you curled up against my body, it make me feel warm on the inside. I like the smell of your hair and your body, I like the way you laugh and the way you do that weird dance every time you win at something. And it drives me crazy having all these feelings for you. It's killing me that you don't realize that I love you"
You stopped breathing. He blurted the last sentences very slowly, giving everything up, including you. The final act of love it was always letting go, wasn't it? It was regret and hurt, but at least it was off of his chest.
He was still looking down when he felt both of your hands grabbing each side of his face. You were smiling through the tears that were rolling down your red cheeks.
"I can't believe that it took you getting hit by a quirk to confess your feelings for me"
Before he could say anything, you crashed your lips with his in a hungry and passionate kiss that melted all the regret and unpleasant feelings away.
For Katsuki, the world started spinning again.
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“Papa, you love mama?”
Katsuki Bakugo continued walking beside his son, but the hitch in his breath was a sign that he heard the question.
Katsuma looked up to the older man, little hand held by his father’s more calloused one. The little boy was a carbon copy of Katsuki, but that also meant he was smart— and just like Kats did as a kid— Katsuma wasn’t shy to ask adults hard questions.
The six year old knew he had a mom that loved him, and that was enough for him. She cared for him, made him breakfast and dinners, and let him jump on the bed for a bit as long as he promised he’d burn out all his energy and go to bed on time. Katsuma knew not having a dad was odd— his classmates always asked why he never drew a daddy when he drew his family.
Yet, you made it your life’s mission to make sure Katsuma never felt unloved because you chose to be a single parent— you were his mama and his papa, and Katsuma loved that.
Yet, now Katsuma had a father, and his little brain worked overtime trying to understand if now it meant he had a full-family, finally. He had a mom, and a dad, and they loved him. Yet, did that mean they loved each other? It was all confusing for the boy and he needed answers.
“I love your mom.” Katsuki’s ears burned from the simple confession but his son wasn’t done asking questions.
“Why didn’t you know about me until I was five?” Katsuma’s brows furrowed.
The older blonde sighed, before stopping. Katsuma looked even more confused as Katsuki kneeled down to meet his red eyes.
“Look bud, your mama and I—,” Katsuki scrambled to find the right words. Katsuma started to chew on his thumb, a habit Katsuki picked up on when his little boy was nervous. Carefully pulling his hand away from his mouth, Katsuki held his son’s hand instead.
“We love you so, so much,” Katsuki squeezed his hand. “Sometimes adults can make mistakes, and I’ll always wish I was a papa to you when you were little but never be angry at your mama for that, okay?”
Katsuma nodded dramatically, the thought absurd to the six year old.
“I will always love your mom— “ Katsuma started jumping in excitement.
“Mama and papa are gonna be together forever? Like married?”
Katsuki took hold of his son’s shoulders, stopping Katsuma’s excited hops.
“Not exactly buddy.” It hurt the older man to see the utter disappointment on his son’s face.
“We… uh—,” Katsuki didn’t even know what was happening between you two. Hooking up on and off and coparenting blurred the lines of labels.
“But you two love each other, and you guys love me, right papa?” Katsuma asked.
Katsuki smiled, ruffling his son’s unruly blonde hair.
“That’s right buddy, and that’s enough for me.”
Katsuma might’ve looked like his father, but he had your smile— the same expression Katsuki loved on you growing on the little boys face.
“That’s enough for me too papa!”
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