#stop traumatising ppl
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apologies in advanced for interrupting anyone’s evening or cozy bedtime or subway ride to works but insta isn’t safe for me now 💀 wdym i’m getting online-ly mol*st*d by a fake acc?
#was peacefully reading eunseok’s fic and giggling when i received dms from one of my moots#which i believed might have been hacked#ignoring the first few signals of this person commenting on my stories multiple times should’ve been my best solution#BUT MY DUMBASS WAS OFC THOUGHT THE OPPOSITE#I WAS CURIOUS TO SEE THE PHOTO I RECEIVED#I THOUGHT MY PICS WERE EDITED OR HE MIGHT HAVE MY PICTURES PASTED SOMEWHERE ELSE#SO I OPENED THE PIC#AND IT WAS A DI*K WHICH I BELIEVED WAS STOLEN SOMEWHERE#shit traumatising i cried#commenting abt how my face is the same colour of his ugly dipshit#hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha#bro claimed to be from dubai like stfu???#stop traumatising ppl#I FUCKING APOLOGIES FOR MAKING ANYONE WHO STUMBLE UPON THIS#…none of you deserved to encounter disgusting occurrences like these#but i just wanna share this bc i am traumatised 😭😭💀💀#no i’m giggling still#now that i think abt it#it’s funny#hilarious comes in different forms but i am traumatised still#i did not spend hundreds of funny reels and make my insta to my range of relatable contents and comfort for someone to just ruined it#i’m watching riize cooking contents now#slumping in to cope with my concerns 🗯
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i knew ppl would parallel the you deserve a choice bit with joel saving ellie and i knew it would make me furious cus it was never joel who took her choice away and he’s not wrong to have saved a suicidal child from being a lab rat lmao. it never would have been a free choice for her. and tbh i love bella but it’s disappointing to see them talk about how being a cure is ellie’s life purpose and that she has to force herself to believe joel cus it’s too painful for her to admit the person she loves and trusts the most has taken that away from her bcus it lacks any nuance or care in the way we talk about a traumatised girl and her agency and who is doing her harm vs who isn’t. joel didn’t take anything from her. the fireflies stopped her having a choice by not even asking and even if they’d asked it still wouldn’t have been a free choice cus she would have been consenting bcus of trauma and guilt. the fireflies attempting to exploit that as justification fucks with ellie’s agency more than joel did and is what actually would have taken something away from her
#i keep repeating this but im on this hill and im not getting down#rlly fucked up the way ppl repeatedly talk about a traumatised kid#all the ppl saying joel should have given her choice still make me laugh#at what point after he’s been threatened to death if he tried to get to her did you want him to ask her lmao???????#when he’s being shot at? when the surgeon brandishes a scalpel? they’d both be dead!#and even if that wasn’t a completely absurd idea even if she’d said yes he still should have stopped it idc#the last of us#tlou#ellie williams#joel miller
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just read radio silence and I have literal physical symptoms from it. 👍
#little darlin' rambles 🤍#I'm. traumatised#EVERY SINGLE ASPECF OF MY BEING WAS IN THAT BOOK#LITERALLY I CANT BLINK OR BREATHE I HAVENT STOPPED SHAKING#I READ IT ALL IN 3 HOURS#THEY NEED TO MAKE INSTITUTIPNS FOR PPL WHO JUST WENT THROUGH 700 EMOTIONS BECAUSE OF A BOOK.#radio silence#alice oseman#I need therapy.#anyway imma read all of solitaire in one go next
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Me in the tags of my previous post were so real any time in the future my dad tries to hook me up with a guy I’m gonna bring a leash with me 👹
#dora daily#to display the metaphorical basis of our flourishing relationship 🙈#what I say goes and what he says …. I’ll think about it#I’m so sick of people second guessing me as if I haven’t thought things through#like stop disagreeing with me ???#annoys me to no end#ppl be like oh I’d rather my friends clock me when I say something#well I don’t ! I am sick and traumatised of ppl constantly doing this for no reason mind you#and they’ve admitted they were in the wrong for doing that to me too#I desire blind acceptance bc in truth this type of doubt ppl always have towards me is srsly annoying
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teens on tiktok saying its SA if ur partner initiates something without asking and stops when you say no…..go touch grass thats so insulting
#like unless u have specifically told ur partner to always verbally ask for consent its not assault for them to assume yiu want something😭😭😭#misunderstandings are a things its not fucking assault#idk im triggered#after everythung thts happened to me i hate when ppl water down SA to stuff like that#its not the same.#if my partner touches me and i say oh im not in the mood and we stop how tf is that traumatising im sorry but😭😭😭
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"I think Nancy Wheeler-" KYS
KYSSSSS
NO ONE IS ALLOWED AN OPINION ON HER ANYMORE SHE'S MY WIFE
#rem does stuff and panics#stranger things#nancy wheeler#i hate these type of people#like#you do not understand her#stop calling her a cheater stop calling her a terrible person stop calling her cold and a robot i hate you#stop talking shit abt her#she is the moon and you dont understand the moon#she the loml#pls#leave us alone our kids are starting to ask questions#just kidding i dont want kids our kids are dogs and cats and every pet nancy wants bc she has feelings and she's empathetic and she loves#animals and people and friends and everyone#but shes traumatised and she doesnt know how to show it#and shes blunt and the truth and her goals are so important to her that sometimes she disregards other ppls feelings#BUT SHE'S STILL A PERSON#SHE'S STILL NICE AND HUMAN AND SHE MAKES MISTAKES
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I feel really bad for girl Jeri. Call me low on reading comprehension/media literacy or whatever, but like. If she got pregnant young (maybe even teenager) and was hiding it, she wouldn't go for any medical help, nor would boy Jerry... which means that she gave birth without any anesthesia and medical help!! It must've been fucking awful, horrid, painful and overall traumatising experience.
Also, like, the way she starts to sob whether sex and pregnancy mentioned, the way she screams "Stephanie! No!!" when Steph and Pete about to have sex. She warns Steph, not Steph and Pete, she specifically tries to stop the girl from having sex. The way she says "Teen pregnancy is not a joke! [...] You're gonna end up with the child before you're ready! You will have to dropout of school! Your parents will disown you!" and looks dead serious, sad, and...idk worried, rueful, remorseful. And, i think, the most obvious one, "where you will raise the child? In the woods?!" She's clearly projecting onto Steph. Jeri associating sex with pregnancy and pregnancy with da baby and it's murders. It's a chain of associations and literally almost every link is traumatizing to her. She feels responsible for her son's murders (because she does enable him), she is the one to try calling into police, she is the one who doesn't want to lie to child's parents, and she has to be coerced, lied and threatened into cooperation by boy Jerry. She, not surprisingly, got sexual trauma from these events, she even responds to sexual advances of a guy that blackmailing her and degrading her! (I'm not saying that ppl cannot have these kind of kinks without trauma, but it's not talked-about-before-consensual kink here, she's stunned and overwhelmed by discovering bodies, feeling guilty for hiding bodies, feeling horny and feeling guilty and ashamed for feeling horny to truly process and being able to consent to things.)
By the way, the fact that boy Jerry doesn't give shit about her also makes me feel bad for her. Like, he very clearly projecting and tells his own thoughts and feelings when "scolding" Pete, so that means that he feels jealous over, and is sexually attracted to Jeri, but looking at Jerry's actions he doesn't respect or trust Jeri, he threatens and blackmails her, he constantly takes control of the situation and assumes that she will obey him, simply put - he's awful to her. And something i noticed when listening to "Hatchet town" from Npmd on repeat is that there's line when citizens accuse boy Jerry and he LITERALLY says "no! it's girl Jeri! that dirty girl!" and like, that could be written in just for a joke but in character it would render boy Jerry as a fucking traitor and a coward. Not too surprising considering all that he does in abstinence camp, but goddammit, he is despicable.
I'm not saying that what she done is okay or morality right, but i empathise with her, like she literally GAVE BIRTH IN THE GODDAMN WOODS.
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the time when i actually find royalty and monarchy sexy and most interesting is when like...
so historically a monarch was treated as a public body. 0 privacy. servants would be in their bedroom to ensure they were chaste or that they were fucking who they were supposed to
like. they'd have attendants that went with them to the bathroom. they MIGHT be permitted to pray alone, and they'd have some trusted attendants and/or their spouses they might be permitted to be alone with but like
they were constantly observed. scrutinised. surveilled.
and i don't mean in public like, on the city streets, i mean IN their castles, their palaces, their homes. a parade of doctors would examine their bodies in DETAIL, sometimes every day! their portraits were done to a political standard, not to reflect their bodies!
no personhood. no identity. your power was EXTREMELY limited by the interests and plays of your attendants, by members of your court, and by the public
now THAT shit is interesting. stop pretending monarchs were interesting heroes
like every english monarch has been a freak figurehead, they're all extremely traumatised by the weird gold cages they live in, they have no identity, they don't even know what they don't know. they're strange, twisted experiments of tug-of-war between political attendants
and if ppl played w that in fiction, ESP w like. how does a person like that even consent? how do they know what consent is, what it means? their body is not their own, and it never has been. what is and what isn't a violation to a person like that? how can they voice it?
don't get me wrong, the only good monarch is a dead one, and i'm in favour of dismantling all forms of monarchy as brutally as possible, BUT
if we're going to do monarchy shit, stop pretending these ppl can pretend to be normal. make them as weird as they are
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i think every superhero / antihero is by definition attempting (whether it succeeds or not) to do good. societal change is broad asf but i think jason especially does want that…. he’s also extremely fucked up. when ppl say he is a complex character… its not just words. lol. he is complex. he wants the joker to be dead so gotham isn’t a helpless war ground and also he blew up a (empty) high school. he’s not mentally sound. lmfao
that’s a very fair point! because the idea of superheroes originated from an optimistic ideal in a profoundly cynical world (jewish artists during world war 2) the entire concept is inextricably tied to societal change — because there has to be! u have to believe the world can be changed for the better!
what makes jason interesting is that he wants to improve gotham, but has no interest in doing so externally to the idea of proving bruce wrong. why is this not positive societal change? because bruce wayne is crucial to the infrastructure of gotham. forgetting that batman exists — bruce wayne is gotham’s social services, its healthcare system, its support for unemployment and disability, its rehabilitation system, its only means of providing to its citizens. we can sit here and argue the legality of bruce beating people up but the core to bruce’s character is that he wants the world to change for the better, so no one else experiences the grief he has.
jason believes in the death penalty, no ifs when’s or buts. his core ideology is — the system is flawed, but if im in charge i can make it better. jason replacing black mask and preventing dealers from selling to kids won’t stop people from self medicating to deal with an unfair world in which they were born into. it won’t stop crime, because crime is the result of stagnant social reform and income inequality. there is no way for jason’s approach to crime — killing people expeditiously — to result in a fair system that can sustain itself and prioritise the safety of its citizens. that’s not something from rhato no. #69, that’s clear in the text in utrh.
when people compare him to a cop it’s because he is killing without oversight or fear of legal repercussions. many, many countries that have technically outlawed the death penalty (australia, canada, some states in the us etc) still have a death penalty because police can kill indiscriminately on both the streets and in custody. jason has been shown to act with care for others (in the lost days he systematically kills his tutors to prevent further harm) but that’s not what he’s doing in gotham. for every captain nazi there’s a dozen kids left orphaned cause he’s murdered their parents. id describe him as severely traumatised, and deeply in denial about how well he’s handling it. the entire gd point is that it’s him reacting to his death! he has been radicalised! he is advocating for regressive change!!!!! why are people so afraid of his complexity!!!!!!!!
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“ why do some people call out or talk about dumb and lesser fandom drama but haven’t spoken about those anonymous fics”
I beg you with all my fucking heart to muster up two braincells and use them
I haven’t gotten this hate directly but I keep seeing posts either saying it or ppl having it said to them
You are claiming to understand what’s so disgusting and vile abt what the person who wrote those did but you’re here not taking two seconds to think hmm maybe the dumb and lesser stuff is easier to talk about for more people than those fics?
Lemme throw some bullet points and break it down into little words for some of these absolute fucking idiots:
• you’re always gonna find more people willing to talk about the little discourse than the harder to talk about topics especially in fandom spaces
That doesn’t make them a bad person for it because
1. Everyone has their boundaries
2. Everyone has their own shit and no one should be having to sit there and tell you they’re traumatised to get you to back off
3. This is again a fandom space by not talking about it they aren’t disadvantaging or not spreading awareness abt or supporting any causes by making a post saying what others have already said a thousand times over which is that those fics were a disgusting thing to do
4. “ oh but you’ve pointed out racism/homophobia/misogyny and this thing and that” again see all those points but also like this is like someone saying don’t be racist and then someone going oh wow so they talked about how ppl shouldn’t be racist but not about how ppl shouldn’t be sexist so they must mean being sexist is acceptable
5. Again it’s not like everyone was super quiet about it like I saw all the outrage on here and it was being served toward that anonymous writer from BOTH sides, no one on either side as far as I can tell agrees with that shit so stop saying shit like oh they were a buddie fan
So fucking what? I’m sure i have the same music taste as some murderers but that doesn’t make me a murderer? Get a grip honest to fucking god
6. Also that fucker was living for the attention that’s why they kept making more with mocking bios and shit
That’s all the angry rant for today guys🫡
#911#buddie#911 abc#evan buckley#911 fox#911onfox#eddie diaz#evan buck buckley#fandom discourse#911 discourse#tw// csa#tw csa#tw sa#tw// sa#not in this post but the fic is abt that so if the mention of that fic triggers anyone this is to be safe
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i understand ppl icked out by mother daughter incest but unfortunately no amount of her abusing and traumatising me can stop me being insane in the head
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Coming out of my shell to say that I'm petitioning to be Leon's annoying little sister
Some platonic sibling hcs under the cut!!
Warnings: Platonic! Au, a little bit of sibling violence and A LOT of sibling banter, mentions of ptsd, drinking and alcoholism and events in RE2 and RE4
It's always I want him to rail me! I want his babies! And I can respect that I can I can but...have you ever considered being his annoying little baby sibling that adopts him as your new family member 😇
Like yeah nah bro I wanna annoy him and tease him for having no rizz AT ALL and just all around annoy tf outta him 😤
Like he's an orphan but not AnYmOrE, scooping this traumatised boy up and making him WISH he never met you but also is weirdly protective you who "adopted" him as their "sibling", and now won't stop saying "point and laugh!" out loud everytime he does smth stupid in the middle of the office when hes back from a mission.
Like, please he just needs an annoying little sibling in his life, I know I can't fix him but by God can I be the annoying little sister he so desperately needs in his life
Like....I KNOW his heels have never known the wrath of MY FEET clipping his shoes up when he's walking too slow but he NEEDS to 😭😭😭 I need to post this and find my PEOPLE
Also I feel like being a sibling vibe you'd have tagged along as a civilian in RE2, also not knowing what the fuck was going on but hey, you're in this fucked up shit together now ig. 🤷♀️ And you have some family/friends out of state so after the event you take him to chill at a beach or smth w your family/friends bc you're both well deserving of a fucking break while this ptsd hits the both of you
n everyone talks about how fucking awkward he was w Sherry in game but ayo hes REALLY feeling it now...
Like you're joking when you're like "it's like you've never been to one of these Leon 🤨"
N he just looks at you like "Yeah I haven't 😐"
AND YOU KAHSJEVDHEKEHEJE
"You're like 😶....bro....you have now been absorbed.....as my older brother"
And he's like 🧐🧐🧐 at first bc what??? How do I interact w these ppl??? Why me???? but ofc they love him, he's RE2 Leon and although he's super fucking traumatised and still awkward asf he just wants to make a good impression on his friends' close ones
Also he's like sitting there like damn,,,,,I wish I had that 😔
So you're like wELP noW yoU dO 🤪
And of course they're super grateful to him bc he saved you so they treat him nicely but he kinda gets that a lot so he's just like 🧍
So after you tell them hes now your older brother you've deemed it so 🤗 they just start to treat him like that and he just, doesn't know what to do??? Do I salute them, (y/n)???
Do it make him salute them for at least three weeks until you tell him absolutely no one does that and he was stupid for ever believing you 😈
Tbh I feel like this would work for the first couple of times until he mentions it at work in passing n everyone's like 🤨,,,,so then the next time he sees you he just has that pissed off older sibling face and he's coming for you so you better have ran like you did in Raccoon City kahsjehs 🏃♀️💨
But yeah after a while you guys stay in touch, he's training and drowning his pain with alcohol and you're trying to get him into more healthier ways of dealing w his pain as well as laughing at him kshsjdhsjs
your just sort of there to support him even when he's pushing you away bc no idiot I will not leave you alone when you're training I will watch and I will LAUGH when you fall. But I will also cheer you on when you win and give you my favourite hello kitty bandaid if you ever get hurt 🥰
And he's super grateful?? Bc your like this stable sort of annoying person who's there for him no matter what.
Like he knows he can come to yours to crash if he's had one too many drinks to holds his hair when he's puking his guts out hungover.
Yes you are there in the morning to laugh and yell at him for being stupid but he also saw the glass of water you left on the couch next to the ibuprofen and chuck bucket for him. And the little blankets and they you always seem to have waiting on him when he arrives
Yes you will be there to do it all over again if he comes walking to your place after he's drunk again.
And Yes, you will also be there to show him all the dumb photos you took of him drunk on your Kodak once they get developed and cackle in his face 😈
He like actually learns to take a load off with you and relax a little bc you have a bond and you weren't just saying that when you took his ass on holiday, you really meant you'd be there for him and it means a lot to him bc he's never really had that stability in his life before 😔
Also bc the trauma bonding you just get him ���️ like you can both relate to the horrors you saw and what you unknowingly found out about Umbrella.
Like maybe you work w him in the field or just as an archivist or smth but you're helping him w this cause too, dealing w the same or similar shit he's been dragged into so ofc you guys form a bond w each other.
And so by the time RE4 rolls around imagine you're like talking him through his mission on the radio n he's soo serious around Ashley and Luis so you can't help it you burst out laughing bc he's so stiff, and he's like THIS is a LIFE and DEATH siTuAtiOn now do your fUcKiNg jOb SeNd me tHe coOrDiNatEs
And you're like okay okay grumpy pants 😈 I'll give you the coordinates but you have to say pwetty pwease w a cherry on top for me 🥰
If it were anyone else he'd turn the radio off and find it himself but bc he does care for you, and you're like the only stable platonic thing he's had in ages he's like cursing and swearing until he FINALLY caves in and does it
So you give him the coordinates and just as he's about to go back to almost dying your like "I got that recorded fyi" and he's just 😤😤😤 at Luis for no real reason other than his 'little shit of an adopted sibling' kwhsjshdhd
But also imagine randomly calling him constantly bc you're really worried for him bc this time your not there with him and it scares you
And he's like, I'm not dying here bc who else is gonna put up w your shithead behaviour??? n you're just like, 'aww Leon!! 🥺🥺'
So hes like 'yeah so stfu and let me do my mission 😤' but you swear you can hear the smile in his voice through the radio
OR if you're there, with him it's even MORE chaos kshdjdhdjdn
Like imagine Luis flirting w you n him being all protective older brother on you, n you're just like 🙄 siblings amirite, btw Leon that's a prime example of how to properly rizz someone up you loser 😇 n your not running from ganados this time your running from him (again) 🏃♀️💨
If you engage in sibling violence he's like, you haven't hit me once this whole mission n you're like, I'm giving you a vacation since we're running for our godamned lives out here n hes thinking like 🥺 my shins have never know rest like this before since I met you 🥺
but he just gives you a little smirk 'heh' or some one liner and that's it he did it to himself his shins indeed do NOT know rest 💀
Being teased by him more and more as he matures but dw, you're always there to annoy him back 😇 and run tf away when he gives that older sibling look like he's about to wreck your shit for ever thinking of crossing him lajsjsjsbs
#leon s kennedy#RE2 leon#re4 leon kennedy#RE2 leon kennedy#re4 leon#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#leon x y/n#platonic#.hc#spreading my WINGS w these tags#im deadass when i said i need to find my people please im begging#i cannot be the only one who wants to be a younger sibling to this man#mb its bc carlos and jill have me in an absolute CHOKEHOLD but...#i just saw this man in the RE4 remake like...lemme annoy him#PLEASE#luis makes it sm more easier to see how much fun it would be#endless hours of entertainment 😈
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TAM DONT READ THIS it pisses me off SO MUCH when ppl make fun of the vamery fist bump scene bc "he friendzoned her so hard" when first of all FUCK YOU second of all that shit was romantic as hell do u rlly think 2 ppl traumatised to shit would just make out sloppy style for the first time in front of a crowd of people FUCK NO THEY WOULDNT like for fucks sake its not a friendzone u can see their relationship as platonic if u want but to joke about that scene being a friendzone will never not get under my skin coz all u fucken ppl want from a ~canon ship~ is a sloppy onscreen makeout sesh and nothing short of it like u mfs cannot read subtelty and it blows but THIRD is all the ppl saying this are vashwood diehards and are we just forgetting that in their ~final scene together~ when wolfwood is pouring his heart out vash just tells him to shut the fuck up and "stop saying stupid things"?
sorry if ur reading vamery fistbump as a friendzone then the couch scene is the most brutal rejection in the world but heres the thing: BOTH THOSE SCENES ARE ROMANTIC AS HELL. THEYR BOTH FANTASTIC AND BOTH A REALLY SWEET AND REALLY PAINFUL ILLUSTRATION OF THE WAY VASH STRUGGLES TO EXPRESS LOVE
vamery fistbump scene solos and next time someone calls it a "brutal friendzone" im stealing shit from ur house
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I honestly wish people cared more about depression and other issues rather than saying they care but scrutinise a person so horribly when they show symptoms associated with said condition 🧎♀️
#everyone’s so horrible about it#if you don’t know what something means you research#I research when my friend says they have an illness or a particular sexuality I may not know about#or just to understand and help out because that’s what friends do right ?#so research if someone tells you they have a condition and learn the symptoms#don’t like it ? leave.#but don’t stick around if you’re not in the slightest tolerant to any speck of symptom they may exhibit#whoever does this is a horrible person#because you signed up for this so you deal with it. it’s so mean to punish someone for something they can’t control#because ppl aren’t nearly as kind to people who are normal as they are to mentally ill people#aren’t nearly as mean to normal ppl*#yeah sure they still have to control themselves etc but you never say this to normal people#you’re never so harsh to normal people if anything those with mental illness need more kindness and understanding and everyone blows it#how are you gonna sit there with full conviction saying I have depression and anxiety ( I have way more than that but okay )#yet blame me when I can’t commit to my work or blame me for being “lazy” I think as a perfectionist and star student I beat myself up over#that already so why would you hurt me more#alternatively this applies to ppl who get mad at others asking reassurance#im gonna rip my hair out for that why literally why would you have a problem#it’s always communicate this communicate that but in fact everyone’s allergic to communication and they’re not traumatised by it#ZERO EXCUSES BUT SOMEHOW all the excuses for normal people but none for mentally ill ppl#everyone’s sick. this is what I mean when. I say it’s so aggravating seeing people because they’re so hopelessly stupid#in the sense they don’t have an ounce of compassion and are disgustingly selfish thinking of themselves 24/7 and their feelings when not to#compare but ppl have it worse than your dumb ass paper cut - esque issues 😇#oh but all the sympathy to you and none to the “crazy people” who actually need more compassion than you be so Fr#and if you cope well with your own issues then good 4 u ! but you’re not the standard of the DSM 🤗 you also aren’t any better#everyone copes differently and expresses things differently dependent on their unique exposures circumstances and view of the world#let’s stop pretending that one view is the right view#this doesn’t mean let yourself get abused btw it means using that thing in your head to be reasonable#dora daily
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hi, do u know why some ppl in the fandom think laurent and damens first time was r*pe? i get that damianos was selfish but i just can’t see it as *that*
I went back to read chapter 19 of Captive Prince just to make sure of my stance on the chapter. I honestly can’t tell you exactly why people think that, but I have my theories.
If you were going to superficially read this scene in that way, I would have thought people would question the master/slave dynamic Laurent has over Damen, more than the other way round.
It could very well seem like it’s Laurent who pushes Damen into it to begin with:
Damen says “I-don’t-“ and Laurent speaks for him. Laurent acts as if Damen is a slave and has no choice.
Now, to be clear, Laurent doesn’t rape Damen either. But if you read this bit in isolation, you might get concerned about consent. That’s why it’s important to read the chapter in its entirety (syncing it up with the bonus chapter 19 and a half) and making sure you contextualise it within the wider plot of the novel. They’re both still pretending in this scene, and that pretence is what allows them license to sleep with each other. Enemy princes, one of whom killed the other’s brother, cannot lie together. But a Prince can lie with his bed slave. So they both keep up this pretence to be able to have this.
Look at the pain it causes Damen, who is someone who is aching desperately for physical intimacy with Laurent, to try and clear his head and stop. It saddens him so much that Laurent might be trying to reward him with sex:
Pacat had difficult choices to make in this scene. She wanted it to be almost unbearably private and intimate. It needed to stay true to the characters and their arcs and the world she had created. Sex isn’t always an easy cheerful tumble as Damen has experienced it to be. This is intensely personal as it’s also about two people falling in love, and who in this moment cannot see a way as to how they could possibly be together.
The scene progresses in such a way which shows the two communicating- as much as one can, when one is lying about his identity, and the other is feigning ignorance. When one is sexually liberated and experienced and the other, hugely traumatised and repressed. In a novel whose invented world is modelled on societies from centuries ago.
Damen stops and checks for what Laurent wants:
Damen literally asks Laurent to tell him his own pleasure, because he wouldn’t just roll him over and mount i.e he literally would never rape him.
He lets Laurent control what he wants at numerous points, such as kissing and double checks that he’s okay with actual penetrative sex:
I really don’t know what person imagines that Laurent, a victim of sexual abuse, who as a consequence was probably unable to feel any kind of sexual feeling in himself until Damen and might even be enormously terrified of sex, could just casually open up verbally about what he wants. Pacat makes it clear multiple times that Laurent gets turned on by Damen and has no idea how to deal with that vulnerability, when sex is tangled up in his mind with all that happened to him.
Damen literally double and triple checks as to what Laurent once and Laurent directly asks him for sex:
I just can’t see where people are getting this idea from.
I have also read that Damen ‘fantasises about Laurent as a slave’ as part of this but…he doesn’t.
In CP he acknowledges Laurent would fetch a fortune at a slave auction, which is a material reality in his culture.
Later in KR, he wishes Laurent’s body didn’t have to be extensively prepared each time and was more like a slave or a pet, because they have no oil as lubricant (he smashes an oil lamp to solve the issue). In PG he thinks about the fact that if he turned Laurent over to the nearest Akielon army, it would lead to Laurent being given not to Nikamdros but to him. However there is no elaboration at all on what that may entail. It’s very much a hmm that would change our power dynamic, and I actually think Damen is a little turned on by the thought that Laurent could be in that role but its made very clear in the text that Damen is not a rapist.
In this scene in particular, Damen sees his first time with Laurent as incredibly meaningful:
A moment he wishes to be “worthy of”. It’s an expression of love not violence.
So why do people think this then?
Damen doesn’t pick up on Laurent’s psychological state because he doesn’t know that Laurent knows he is Damianos the man who killed Auguste. He is being selfish by sleeping with him and taking what Laurent is giving him, yes, but he really does think this is his last night with Laurent and isn’t strong enough to resist his yearning for him.
Which still is all categorically not rape.
So again, where does this come from?
Well…I do think a lot of people read a little carelessly? I’ve done it sometimes, though maybe more rarely as someone with a background in literary study. Not everyone reads closely, not everyone remembers everything that happens in a book and they form some half-baked theories due to this.
But why misread this scene to that extent, where I’d go as far as to say that it stands in direct opposition to what Pacat intended and how the scene actually reads?
If you want my theory on it, I think many white readers (and non-white) have unconscious prejudices. The darker, muscular character evokes highly racist stereotypes of rape and assault; the fair, blond characters are the idealised objects of beauty and desire (who clearly need saving from dark men and their brutish sexuality 🙄).
I do think some people must surely be mapping these prejudices onto this scene and making it fit. It’s the only plausible reason I can think of.
I sometimes wonder whether some of the Auguste/Laurent shippers are people who want the fantasy of two blonds together. Like *ugh get that dark man away from Laurent*. I am not one to morally police the fiction people write and consume, I’m just saying the personal is the political and I can’t help but feel there might be some who think that…
So yeah that’s what I think! Hope that helps.
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TMAGP 18 Reaction
Pre-Episode
The tags of this episode are worrying me
Based on the tags and the title I think this episode is gonna have something about Alice maybe investigating whatever she saw, or at least being reminded of it
Pre-Statement
Alice!!
Teddy!!
He didn't recognise her? What does that mean
Only faintly?
Creepy basement nightmare factory is a good name for it
ALICE THINKS CELIAS HOT??? PLEASE SAMALICELIA HAS TO BECOME A THING ATP
aw
Sam and Lena hi
pffft im loving lena more and more with each episode
no celia :(
oh no is jack okay??
"it"??? alice and lena can bond over their inability to talk normally about babies lmao
Statement
oooh augustus statement
i cant remember if willow tree close is a name we recognise but i cant find anything on it on the wiki
wdym "i hope she stays silent"??? what does that mean!!
oh thats what that means
shes just built different its fine
wait thats like the lady alice saw. is this a common occurrence?
omg she walked for so long her feet broke and she died of starvation
now im really starting to believe the "talking dead victims are from the fear domains in tma" theory bc how else can you explain this
"can i have a cigarrette" guy from tma?
wait what was that noise. thats the first time theres been a proper noise separating the reader from sounding more human to their usual monotone voice isnt it?
Post-Statement
sam maybe... dont talk to the recently traumatised woman about the case that is extremely similar to her traumatising experience
alice you're deflecting with humour isn't working we know you're traumatised babe
alice youre way too nonchalant about this
sam honey i get you wanna know things but please stop
curiosity killed the cat
oooh is gwen gonna tell them?
omg she actually is
things are happening so fast im very worried
see i'm kinda hoping she doesnt mention mr bonzo because i think if my coworker told me that the weird tv mascot who liked to prank ppl in the 90s was removing limbs then i would think they were insane
oh god she is gwen honey thats the least plausible example you could ever give. like yeah lady mowbray is a human but shes been involved in a case and celia met her too shes a better example to give
oh god i hate the "someone doesnt get believed when telling others about something supernatural" trope but i hate the "someone gets laughed at when telling others about something supernatural" trope even more
samama "doesnt quite get when to quit" khalid everyone
oh gwen honey :(((
"so... that was weird" bro you just made your coworker cry maybe apologise????
i am not liking sam rn im sorry
alice gnot wanting to interact with gwen rn is killing me since shes the only one who could understand any of it but she refuses to get involved and its killing me. girlie you know its real
GEORGIE AND JACK OMG
CELIAAAA HI
oh does georgie not know about celias little sleepwalking/teleporting habit
nvm she might be about to
lmaoo georgie ilysm
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