#stop saying they could change
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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Prompt 198
Now Bruce was not expecting to reincarnate upon his death. At least he thinks he died, he’s pretty sure he did. There wasn’t any other reason for him to be a well, literal baby. Around two he thinks, which fits well with the fact that it’s around that time that babies start forming memory recall, if he, well, remembered correctly.
But while he knew about reincarnation thanks to Shayera and Carter, he’d never exactly given it much thought towards himself. Because seriously, what were the chances of such a thing as him being given another chance?
So he was quite surprised at his situation, experimentally opening and closing pudgy hands that looked well, just a tiny bit off. He’d never been that pale before, he thinks, even back when he never went outside like, ever.
He turned his gaze towards the mobile above him with a sort of idle curiosity- a mixture of bats (ha) and other trinkets he wasn’t familiar with. It also caused him to get his first good look at his parent, asleep on a rocking chair right next to the crib.
Huh. They had the same pale skin he did, albeit in the light it looked like it was slightly tinted blue, and while their hair was white they didn’t exactly look old. They looked surprisingly well rested for raising a toddler too, unless they had a nanny or something similar… He rolled over, managing to very shakily push himself to his feet with the help of the crib.
Why was standing so hard as a toddler? And why did he have his memories of everything except how he had died anyway?
His head whipped up from where they were staring at his feet when he heard a snort, finding his parent awake and standing. Somehow silently enough that he hadn’t noticed- or he was that easily distracted by the unfamiliar giddiness bursting in his chest.
“Morning little bat,” his parent easily picked him up and held him while he inwardly sighed at the nickname. Of course his bat motif would follow him into this life. A low rumbling almost caused him to jump, his body relaxing before he could fully register the sound. The… purring?
Oh.
He wasn’t human this time around.
#Dcxdp#Dpxdc#Prompts#Vlad is a young-adult dad to a reincarnated Bruce#After the hospital he drowned his despair/distress in any way he could & ended up with a baby boy#Bruce’s main suspected species of what they were was vampire before the ghost reveal lol#Bruce can’t say shit about Vlad’s thievery but he has the most judging expression for a toddler#Then he also sees his new dad develop and try to figure out powers#Vlad was terrified to pick him up when he first discovered his ghost fire#Yes this very much changes Vlad’s relationship with Danny#The reunion has 14 year old Danny meet a Very Smart 8 year old Bruce#Yes Bruce clocks teenage vigilante instantly#And look he Would try to get Vlad to stop the possession shit but as long as it’s actual assholes he can’t exactly judge#He blackmailed SO many people in his past life… he's trying Not to be a hypocrite here#Why yes Bruce IS very liminal from having a half-ghost dad#Vlad panicked more than he did when his fangs came in (Bruce has made a file about both himself & everyone he meets)#Just because he’s now baby doesn’t mean he’s no longer Bruce#At some point someone from his world might find their way to this one but that would be a very long time in the future lol#Vlad (unaware of his core being able to feel his ghostling’s big emotions): Wow raising a child is surprisingly easy
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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soulmark au sketches. the idea of sokka in proven ‘soulmates are real’ universes consistently intrigues me—how would that impact his skepticism/interpretation of fate/destiny/free will? personally i think he’d be very angry for a very long time and probably not even understand why
#my art#it’s just a ‘important moments in your soulmates life show up on u through kinda vague occasionally metaphorical marks#fuck i love soulmate aus lol#the clothes lean a lil fire nation/earth kingdomy i think but i was just riding the high of drawing#knowing if i stopped to do research i might just. stop entirely#so i just winged it#wung it. u could even say#anyways#sokka#avatar the last airbender#zukka#soulmate au#i imagine that in this au sokka zuko and probably aang all get matching ‘avatar beam of light!’ soulmarks#just giant white-blue beams all the way up their arm or leg or torso or somethin#cuz like. life changing moment for each of them lol#katara would get like. her own eyes or something representing her eye color for the moment aang wakes up and sees her#lol just saw i forgot to color his mouth in the first sketch lol
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules
the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)
almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)
they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning
(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)
even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)
so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim
it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character
the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring
we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)
it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other
sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother
#i could go on forever theres literally so many examples#dean figuring the ‘two dark doubles’ is a shapeshifter sam figuring out the changing ghost is a tulpa#also peak how many of these examples come from dean despite them pushing so hard for sam to be the one knowing hunting theory#this format is why i cant stand watching the first season of charmed despite loving it so much#i just cant be bothered watching them have the same struggle ive seen a hundred times play out again#different genre but sons of anarchy does this well too; all the characters are already in the club life and already have inner conflict#spn having such a natural introduction makes me so glad they didnt go with the original plan of sam not knowing about hunting#that wouldve been Painful#watching spn so young has really shaped my view of media bc i legit cant stand things with a learning curve#give me an established world damnit#lord of the rings never stops to explain what a dwarf is! you just go with it! and it rules!#dean is just as theoretical and lore savvy as sam and id go as far to say he actually knows more#instead of trying to do this bullshit brains v brawn divide they shouldve done new tech vs analogue#sams laptop is famous and he also knows how to hack thing where the second dean doesnt know something he defaults to books#have dean be the one where if its written down he can find it almost like a proto bobby#they even kind of support that by him being the one to find the phoenix in s6 when they go through all their books#but this was 2005 and characters could only be so conplex and theyd already decided dean needed to be the hot one and sams the nerd one#side note how many of these metas am i going to write on this rewatch? tbd#side side note included all the quotes and episode numbers makes me feel so academic#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#meta#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester
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HOBIE SIGHTING???
ACTUALLY SEEING THE SPOT???
GWENS BACKSTORY???
NWH REFERENCE???
HINTS AS TO WHY MILES IS BEING HUNTED FOR SPORT???
THE SPIDERMAN POINTING MEME????
#AAAAAAAAAAAA#across the spiderverse#spiderman: across the spiderverse#THE NEW TRAILER IS SO GOOD#omgomg#i have a guess as to what the storyline is gonna be#i think miles is gonna learn that as part of his ‘backstory’ his dad has to. yknow. but he wants to go back and change that obviously#thats why all of the ‘saving one person vs saving the spiderverse’ lines and miles saying ‘i can do both’#and idk exactly how it will play out but basically all the other spiders will be trying to stop him cause changing that part of his origin#could destroy the spiderverse or somethin#UGH IM SO HYPED I CANT WAIT
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I WANT ENDLESS BLISS!!!
HALF-AWAKE, HALF-DEAD, HALF-LIFE CRISIS
ALL NATURAL POMEGRANATE PULP.
FERMENTED TO PERFECTION, SAVOUR YOUR SAVIOR.
Q: What's your favourite food? A: THE ALE THEY SERVE AT THE TAVERN!
other versions : )
#uhhhh happy pride month have a fucked up chilchuck that im really proud of#i took so long on that hair rendering just so i could cover it up with the stars...#this was a reaaaally experimental one#if i had another go at this id change a lot of things but sometimes you gotta know when to stop#ive learned my lesson from this one so ill do another one with my knowledge now ykyk#ive discovered i reaaaallly reaaaaaally like thin lines#still figuring out how rendering + painting works but hey it was a nice attempt!!#this is my first finished peice in a looongggg loooooongggg time and it makes me really happy how well it came out#i guess switching things up really helped with things.. i usually get stuck at flat colors because i get so bored#cw alcohol#cw alcoholism#eyestrain#<- maybe? its really saturated#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#by the way i always thought him saying “ale” as an answer to “favourite food” was odd#maybe its a translation thing where theres a japanese wprd that covers both food and drink and the translator just estimated it to “food”?#cause if its not... sir??? chilchuck thats not a food... my man... you have a problem...#this is#[ tragedy au ]#but honestly you could take it as set in canon#by the way do you like my little poem : ) im pspspsps-ing at the dungeon meshi fandom/fandom in general to write more poetry/short lit#maybe ill tweek it and post the poem on ao3.... shrug !
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You ever think about how Ryan involves Shane in all "what if" situations... "When I die, and Shane will be there of course..." And then Shane is surprised that he would be there that Ryan would count him in... "why would I be there". Bruh Ryan chose you as his platonic soulmate that's why.
#shyan#many such cases most of them in pod watcher#still not normal about Ryan making sure that Shane is there so he could make a final joke#Like Shane is so important to Ryan he's his friend and Shane seems like 'why would you say I'm your friend'#like involving him in life changing situations and I interpret this as "shane being surprised that Ryan thinks of him'#anyway that's love#sorry this post is all over the place I can't stop thinking about it and had to say something
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i was hacked by a very unhappy man!
#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#nsbu#d20 nsbu#g13#g13 nsbu#usha rao#MY TASTE IN FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GETS WORSE AND WORSE BY THE DAY!!!!!#sorgy. i cant help it every time a character is even slightly sympathetic i fall for it every time#i acknowledge that he is rude to everyone around him and the reason why he is so isolated from every body#is that he is egotistical and drives people away on purpose#like if u are not useful to him then he doesnt like you#but that in and of itself is so sad. hes just really sad#and a dick. and its funny#“we can have an old ladies night out” “maybe you can have that one by yourself” LMAO#ALSO USHA IS SO FUNNY U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I WAS LAUGHING TODAY#“i made my own alcohol during the prohibition” SHES 100 YEARS OLD AT BEST. AND FROM INDIA#i think these two are my favorite characters this far and i dont know what that says abt me#oh not even mentioning the inherent tragedy of fictional character who knows theyre not real and wants to escape into the real world#tell me g13. why do you want people? huh? HUH?#im also being influenced by his nature of being a loser and also i like computers and computer symbolism#im normal you can trust me#i could go on about how usha and g13 are alike in their refusal to change#but i need to sleep#nsbu spoilers
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I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying
#I wanna REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!!!#its helpful for me to keep in mind#not failing. learning#learning. learning makes failures into something worthwhile#grimacing as I repeat this to myself#text post#delete later#idk saying it cause it made me be like heh. nice#so idk might make someone else be like hm... nice#so LAMGOMSAGKLSAJGALKGJASLKGMSALKGJ#there is not much thought behind the things I post there's just not really much thought in general#honestly that is not true#I overthing everything. on account of the anxiety#but it's all good#speaking of the doc gave me an anti anxiety med on top of the adhd thing#so that's cool#seems to be working though..#she told me I could up the dose and I might do that in like a week if it feels like hrmm#I asked for all the instructions about starting stopping upping lowering or changing the time I take things#cause yknow. those things matter and I like to experiment to figure out whats best for me#this has nothing to do with the post#also they messed up my order again#i only got 180 books#bro theres 120 more#where are they#give me my books!!! please!!!!!!!1#I'll wait til tomorrow#its possible they just didnt fit on the truck. thats completely reasonable
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thoughts on thistle and yaad's dynamic that i vomited in the tags of another post but will now try to articulate here: they're not actually family, or at least they shouldn't be. not in a conventional sense anyway. framing them as uncle and nephew (even in a non-literal, silly fantasy world way) rides more on technicality than anything concrete.
what i mean by this is yaad calls thistle by name and says he and delgal were raised "like" brothers. he talks about thistle like he's an outsider imposing himself into the melinis' space, and it's clear that thistle was never legitimized as a member of the family. for thistle's part, though we don't know how he would treat yaad pre-demon brainrot, it's safe to assume based on the way he punishes him—turning him into a doll—and how little is shown in the way of any sort of relationship between them that thistle only cares* about yaad as an extension of delgal (otherwise i'd expect something like kabru and milsiril, because it's not like another complicated interspecies family dynamic would be out of place, yet there's next to nothing on them even in bonus content, just their scant interactions in the main story).
in essence, they're strangers to one another. thistle's desperation to preserve the illusion of a family, a model where he doesn't even fit, was the snare they were caught in for the past thousand years of stasis. yaad-as-nephew is a prop to uphold that illusion, and thistle is playing a role he's unfit to play. in the context of post-canon interactions, attempting to reconstruct that facade would only be a reenactment of trauma for them both (in a deeply compelling way i'd love to watch unfold, tbh), as that "uncle and nephew" framing places thistle in an implicit position of power over someone he's already traumatized through misuse of authority in the past, a role which also perpetuates his adultification and yaad's infantilization in turn. it'd mostly be an obstacle to any real connection.
best to burn the melini family bridge, i think, and if there's still anything salvageable left in the rubble, let something different supplant it.
#not to say i don't enjoy when they're portrayed as a weird set of uncle and nephew - that's really fun too#i think their history and shared connection to delgal would be a key element to their dynamic no matter what#and it's something they would tryyyy to make work at some point. for lack of other options.#it's not smn i take too seriously either! but thinking about it for more than 2 minutes makes me go oh yikes#i do think they could be family - i'm a certified sucker and sap so i want them to be - but#growth means moving past that more conventional way of thinking of family#side note as someone with a large extended family i DO have uncles who are younger than me lmao#but i'm viewing the whole uncle + nephew thing with thistle and yaad more symbolically for the purposes of this#additional note the fantasy age-fuckery and power dynamics at play means thistle has been in an actual position of authority#over his younger family members like any older relative would be in spite of his being quite young and immature#so. no. don't try to be his uncle anymore. and he isn't your nephew. and oh god he isn't your dead brother let it go. stop with the labels#don't try to resurrect that corpse (< writing them trying to resurrect that corpse as we speak)#not sure if these tags are coherent pero basta lang. yaad and thistle stay complicated forever that's all i want#feel free to chime in or disagree as i'd like to crack into this like crispy lechon and my opinions are subject to change#roomba media#thistle#yaad#thistle & yaad#melinis#dunmeshi#dunmeshiposting#dunmeshi spoilers#thistle dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#edit: changed some inaccurate wording in this one whew. english
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id like to thank ninjago episode snake jaguar for everything but nothing all at the same time
#alek art#lego ninjago#ninjago#sensei wu#ninjago wu#zane julien#previous master of ice mention#2024#(going to do this everytime) FOR CONTEXT : dr juliens 1st death and garms banishment took place in a similar time frame#so wu wouldve been young when he met zane for the first time#also i am very aware zane is ooc here ! prior to getting his powers and them actually settling in his body and mind.. he was a bit of a#jackass in my eyes. we see bits and pieces of zane snark in the series itself BUT like. dr julien described zane as acting different post#getting his powers. and we know elemental powers can mess with how someone behaves. kai being a hot head... so yeah#really wise whimsical old man stuck in the body of a 19 year old#VERSUS#egocentric grown ass man with no friends who lives in the woods and is a robot#they become friends. zane calls wu 'kid' every sentence#i forgot that wu doesnt visit zane often in canon. uhhh basically in my version bc avg zane fan thing to change canon: wu goes to dr julien#house and sees zane. he knew ice had 'gifted' zane his powers and how that could really fuck up a person. he shows up everyday for a week o#two and him and zane talk while zane swims or cuts wood or whatever. wu says their house is in the way of his walking path as an excuse#eventually wu stops showing up and dr julien passes and life goes on as we see them in canon#does rhat make any sense at all ? probably not i have a horrific headache#uhh at the time of writing this we are on s7 (on rewatch) so if anything changes ill lyk . lolsies#ask me about them please
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look, not to be a hater but the whole ekko/jinx alternate universe situation only proves that jinx was only ever loved entirely and completely by silco, that's kinda the point of how tragic jinx really is as a character,
vi either only sees her little sister out of guilt/sense of duty mixed with a desperate need to come back to something or as consequences to her own actions(taking away agency from jinx in the process);
ekko sees her through the eyes of an idealist which is exactly what he is and that's not bad by itself, but it makes her either A Problem or Someone That Needs Saving, that's what's going on in his head after that AU he transported to. he's comparing jinx to powder and he likes powder much better, so he wants jinx to be powder or to reignite the powder in her - basically, he thinks how vi used to think;
isha is a complicated matter because she did show kindness and affection towards jinx that wasn't equal to anyone else's, it was pure and idolizing, she loved what she knew of jinx.
the people of zaun don't love her, not by a long shot. she became a symbol to some(as we can notice in the reunion by vander's statue) and overall the assumption that she would get involved more after her attack and silco's death is a fair one; that doesn't mean they like her,
sevika maintains a connection to jinx through grief and a sense of helplessness along with familiarity, silco's death affected jinx's psyche but it also affected sevika's dream of zaun, they feel left behind by him;
vander... well, he only got to see powder and warwick quite literally just had the memories,
the ONLY character we see that meets her as powder and stays with her as jinx is silco; yes, he isn't a good guy and he does cause the whole separation, he sharpened her edges to make her into a weapon, he lied to her and manipulated her at times, none of these things exclude the fact he does love her so strongly, with zero conditions.
she fucks up in missions, she does as she pleases around zaun, she kills their people, she stabs him in the eye, has psychotic episodes and breakdowns, she kidnaps him, ties him down, SHOOTS HIM, she doubts him and his love, keeps running after the past when he's done everything to strengthen her and she was, at a point, the only thing keeping him from his dream of an independent zaun - none of these perceived sins and flaws made him wish for anyone other than her, as she is.
all silco wanted was to keep her, while everyone else either wants another version of her or none at all. that's the tragic part, even if she suddenly decided to be good, she would feel like a burden for not being entirely like people want her to be.
#sorry not sorry but there's no happy ending here#loving someone without accepting how they've changed(for better or worst) isn't loving at all. it's cruel even.#also after the attack on the council vi treats her like a mistake she has to get rid of???? and that was vile#i simply can't forget that#yes i'm biased cause i dont like ekko and i ship jilco. this is literally the Why Im Biased About This Piece Of Media Essay website#so maybe chill idk#before anyone says it#loving doesn't mean condoning. but you gotta at least acknowledge their flawed personality. who they are instead of who they could've been.#yes u can hope for change but jinx isn't a mask powder keeps. she's violent and highly insecure and apathetic. she's needy and childish.#she doesn't care for whatever is happening to zaun or piltover. there's no difference for her they're all fleshbags that could hurt her.#at her core she won't suddenly start giving a shit to people. that will never happen. and she won't look up to someone 'good'#or ever stop being so high maintenance so needy and possessive. trauma won't ever just puff outta existence.#god these tags are so long#imma shut up now#arcane spoilers#character study (?)#arcane season 2#this is my opinion#if you don't like you can just disagree on ur mind and ignore me#make ur own post or smth idk#arcane jinx#arcane powder
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redrawing my favorite gba chain of memories scenes with my own interpretations part 1(?):
“You’re thinking about me… You’re afraid of the darkness I command.”
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#riku#ansem#GBA CHAIN OF MEMORIES IS SO GOOD. please play it over the remake im begging. it also plays a lot better too.#every ansem scene is better in gba com because i dont have to listen to richard epcar attempt to be intimidating#they altered so many scenes in the remake and a lot of the changes suck !! just straight up !! i will never forgive them for changing#this scene and the previous lexaeus scenes. like why did they have riku get possessed for a second only for the next cutscene to#literally be about riku trying not to get possessed. like that makes no sense. its just cheap shock value and just treating lexaeus#like shit. at least he mentioned zexion. ok if i knew how to do rom hacks i could literally change the dialogue myself to mention zexion.#ok sorry for complaining. uhhh#the composition is clearly ripped off from the owl house. sorry. season 1 belos scene.#and the background is just the original gba bg of the scene but blurred to look less pixelated#sorry the anatomy sucks. i know rikus arms shouldnt be that long but too late. kms.#this scene is so good because augh. this is the first time in this game we come face to face with the real ansem. not just diz pretending#to be him to just shove down ‘darkness bad’ down his throat. this is why mickey comes to save him in this scene. because riku is in#real danger here. thats also the reason why mickey sends his power again when riku is being dangled like a puppet BECAUSE ANSEM WAS THERE#FOR REAL THIS TIME. anyway yeah i know ansem’s sprite doesn’t appear when he says that but the portrait is a silhouette so i went#weh. why not !!#anyway im obsessed w/ cryptid ansem. ghost inhabitanting a fallen kingdom. continuing the fucked up experiments like if they never stopped#OK IVE ALREADY RAMBLED ENOUGH AND THIS SHIT IS GOING INTO RE:KH TERRITORY. (hunter voice) BYEEEEEEE
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hi I saw your post about hadestown and bingge and I'm frothing at the MOUTH. I think like how shen yuan started hyperfixating on pidw bingge just fuking becomes a number 1 fan for the performance troupe. What other performances do you think Shen Yuan will xianxia-ify?
SAME. Aaaaaa im so glad you liked that post, im in a similar state over it <33 Bingge went in expecting a vaguely entertaining but ultimately mediocre show and instead got fucking SCALPED. Like instantly obsessed, unable to go back to the way he was before, completely unhinged <3
And aaaurrgh I have this design idea for the Hades actor where throughout the whole show, Hades is wearing a mianguan with so many beads hanging over the front of his face that you couldn't see anything above his mouth. His upper face completely obscured by his crown and the jewels/beads hanging from it. The picture of an untouchable, terrifying, powerful emperor.
But during Epic III, when Orpheus sings the first "la la la", Hades bellows "Where'd you get that melody!?" as he stands from his throne in rage. As he does, his mianguan falls from his head to the ground, revealing the full of his face for the first time. Revealing the face of an angry, scared man.
He doesn't put the mianguan back on for the rest of the show, and he's so expressive that it's no wonder he wore the mianguan all the time.
and as for your ACTUAL ask -- nothing too modern gets xianxia-fied! Hadestown was easy because it already had mythical elements due to being another myth. He just had to rewrite it in a way that would make sense in PIDW. And he doesn't xianxia too many musicals i think, some of them require too much outside context that would be too hard to translate.
Epic I think would be one that gets xianxia-fied, although that's one of the trickier musicals because Jorge has very specific musical motifs behind each character that makes it hard to translate into PIDW -- Hermes' is associated with the harp and the lyre but every time he's in a song he also comes with a very techno-disco-y (???) beat. Plus a lot of other technical aspects as well -- Scylla is the first to come to mind -- that SY's troupe doesn't have the manpower or funds for.
I think it could happen, though! It's just rather tough and it helps fuel SY's decision to keep the musical adaptations to a minimum AND to use musicals that aren't super modern. Hunchback of Notre Dame I think SY could get away with xianxia-fying. Anastasia too. I don't know many plays so I can't say what plays he could xianxia-fy, but he DOES write stage adaptations for some of the stories he tells his troupe, and finds that he really likes it!
It's surprisingly fun coming up with roles, lines, story beats, etc, trying to figure out how he could make this into that. Writing is fun, and the mental challenge that comes with even more so. He loves it!
He makes a stage play telling the story of Hades and Persephone -- albeit altered to fit into Hadestown, rather than the original tale.
And eventually he starts making up his own stories as well -- retellings of myths from PIDW and his world, and things he made up himself to tell certain messages. Rarely does he play a major role in any of these stage plays themselves -- much to Bingge's dismay. It's too much attention for his poor thin face to take! He most often just plays Orpheus. He prefers to stay behind the scenes during plays.
But you can always find him outside the theater when his troupe is in town! If they're not preparing for a stage performance, SY loves going out to tell stories to a crowd! It brings him a lot of joy to watch them sit on the edge of their seats, hanging on to his every word. He especially loves telling stories to children, they get so excited and their interruptions can get annoying sometimes, but its endearing.
And oh, he does love to sing. He's just so very shy about it. It's a miracle that his troupe managed to convince him to be Orpheus -- but that's probably why they waited until opening night to do it. People get so weird when he sings -- it makes him self-conscious. So he only sings when he's alone or around his troupe while on the road.
Oh yeah no, Bingge is OBSESSED with this group. Specifically one mister Shen Yuan who looks so very much like his old teacher, but ISNT him. He's not sure if Shen Yuan is a descendant of Shen Qingqiu's family line, or straight up the man's reincarnation, but at this point he doesn't actually care that much he just needs the man's attention.
It's actual so funny I think. I don't think fan merch exists in PIDW which is a problem, because Bingge WILL resort to stalking. He's going to orchestrate a fan meeting with SY mark his fucking words. He has to see what this man is like when he's not on stage -- is he as pure as the character he portrays? Or is he as rotten as the face he wears.
(It turns out to be the former, and Bingge doesn't know what to do about it. Kidnapping is high on that list. It is SO high on that list.)
#had to stop it here because its getting so long#but i have IDEAS about how Bingge and SY finally meet#svsss#mxtx au#svsss ask#starry asks#luo binghe#luo bingge#bingyuan#shen yuan#scum villain#i had two roles for SY in Hadestown: orpheus and hermes. The role of Hermes ultimately works best with a Shizun SY and disciple binghe tho#smth smth about how Hermes has told this story again and again with the hopes that it will change and he can only stand back and watch as#the same thing happens again and again and the parallels between him and SY feeling like he's unable to change the plot despite trying#SY playing Hermes interacts most directly with the Fates. He moves when others move him. He stares at the audience a lot when he speaks#like he's speaking directly to them too. to look up. to see the storm coming over their heads. as if they the audience can do something#as if they can stop it if they could just look UP. as if they have any say in the way the wind blows. they have as much say as he does
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