#stop making us feel sorry for Hailey

[tim-hoe-wan]

I take this back. I feel for her mental health problems, but that doesn’t give her any excuse to be a mean girl and a bully. Not with her infinite resources for help.

Either this is her pr101 again when she has promo for her album and needs to revive the Jelena drama, or she is genuinely this obsessed and a bully. She always does this when she gets exposed as a mean girl, suddenly get out when she already started the flames that makes her fans feel justified for bullying.

Selena Gomez always give me pick me girl, seriously I used to love her but she is the type would insult herself just so people call her the opposite , and would Always always always play the victim

I think Selena is problematic and a professional victim, but I feel that’s reaching a bit with the tiktok.

[pokotho]

sometimes i think things are okay but then i go through the most painful shit of my entire life i was like lil nas fighting for my gd life on that toilet

[heaven4lostgirls]

As much as I want to believe that it isn't my fault... I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.... like somehow... a part of me... a part of my childhood... a part of my mind that still believed One Direction would be back, died along with Liam... and hell, I'd not even want a reunion, if I can somehow bring him back to life... and on the other hand... I've been so out of touch with what's going on with the boys, that all these allegations on him... that too after he passed... it's tearing my mind apart... I want to tell myself that that wasn't the Payno we knew... the Payno I grew up listening to... the one who could bring a smile on anyone's face.... the dance master Leeroy... the one afraid of fucking spoons, ridiculous, isn't it..? the silliness... the person himself.... I'm not willing to believe that he... he got so bad... that everyone let it get so bad... that somehow I was a part of it too... idk... can't stop that nagging feeling....

As a fan of Justin Bieber AND One Direction, I'm truly scared for what might happen to Justin now... the Biebers have a son... I don't want to, can't, lose another of my favourite artists.... he was on the pedestal since a young age too, and has been through similar shot.... and I'm terrified.... (sorry for the side track)

Now AFTER his death when I learn about him being an abuser and how MUCH people bash him and be unempathetic about it.... I hate myself for even considering stopping supporting him and mourning him... honestly, that thought crossed my m mind... I went... "Am I mourning the wrong person..? Should I be happy that an abuser d¡ed... or sad that he was Liam.... or surprised that Liam could even do that, or empathize with him that it was his coping mechanism.... but it isn't good... but he was good... but he isn't..." and that feeling summed up in a few words beautifully goes like.... "I'm mourning a person who was a part and parcel of my inner child that didn't heal.... but that doesn't mean my older self blindsides his wrongdoings... I'm mourning what Liam was to me... and how his life had become.... also while sympathy with the victim.... who somehow ALSO lost someone MUCH MUCH more important.... her son's father..."

I'll come in with another ask to continue, also I fell asleep (with a lot of struggle) so sorry for the late reply... (sorry if I'm bugging you...)

it’s okay not to believe that it’s not your fault, there will be people out there to remind you, and with time i think you’ll start to understand that it’s not.

emotions are tricky, because your grief is so raw everything feels magnified. in time, and with healing you’ll be able to see the bigger picture.

don’t worry about it right now, feeling your emotions is so good for understanding yourself. it helps you process your grief.

there’s so many things about grief that doesn’t make sense. wanting liam alive doesn’t make you a bad person, there are millions of people on this earth that wish they could’ve changed his fate.

just because liam was an abuser does not make him any less worth being mourned. there are people out there that have done worse, that are alive and they still have huge fandoms and people that listen to their music.

and i understand the piece of you that died when liam did, i think a lot of directioners can understand that feeling. there is no one direction without all of the boys.

them losing liam was us losing one direction really, and that leaves a big hole within our childhoods and within a lot of our primitive teenage years.

as for justin, i’m not really in his fandom but i do enjoy his music. and i can empathize with your fear. justin’s clean from my understanding, and has been since he’s been married to hailey.

your fears aren’t entirely unfounded but i do think that it’s better not to work yourself over possibilities of what could happen if he relapses. it does nobody any good, especially you.

it sounds easier said than done but justin is the only one who has control over his own life, we need to let him make his own decisions like we did with liam.

we can’t control him, that can only lead to negative outcomes. he knows himself better than anyone else in his life and deserves the right to have his fans and people around him believe that he’ll make the right choices.

it doesn’t make you a bad person to have conflicting feelings about liam’s passing. i did, i didn’t mourn him really at all in the first 24hrs of hearing he passed.

my friends aren’t fans of one direction/liam so they were very much more objective about liam’s passing than i thought i could be.

i thought i had to react a certain way, i didn’t have any right to be sad because i didn’t know him, and he was an abuser.

that’s wrong, you’re entitled to feel however you want to feel. mourn him if you want, don’t if you don’t. it really is that simple.

you don’t have control over how other people react so there will be people out there that are less emotionally attached than fans are, but that doesn’t make your pain any less valid.

it’s okay to be conflicted, liam was a huge part of you. and yes, exactly. mourning liam does not discredit any of the abuse that maya went through.

don’t worry about bugging me, you’re always welcome!! or falling asleep! i just woke up so if you don’t mind me replying 6hrs later then we’re all good 🫂.

[rosypenguins]

🖤Ashes🩶

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

Synopsis: Frustrated by Jake’s constant attempts to repair their friendship, Drew decides to burn the broken bridge for good.

A/N: Welcome back to another episode of “Drew does something stupid or mean, and ends up feeling sorry for himself.�� Today, Drew REALLY fucks things up. (He’s my favorite boy-failure.) Also, Drew might’ve won the battle, but Jake wins the war. (No one’s gonna get this lmao.)

Contains Swearing, Violence, Mild Death-Threats(?)

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

The sound of a blaring alarm awoke Drew from his fitful sleep, and slowly, he opened his eyes. He sat up groggily, rubbing at his eye with his palm as he struggled to keep them open.

“Then… Can I stay the night?” The voice echoed in his mind almost immediately, bringing him back to the events that had transpired a few nights ago. Liam had practically barged into his house, uninvited, and just… held him.

Drew’s hand lingered above his waist, just above where Liam’s had once been. His touch had been so warm, yet… Drew couldn’t find any comfort the memory. There was something that didn’t add up.

Why had Liam gone out of his way to help him that night? Why had he held him so carefully? Drew hadn’t offered him anything for it. Hell, he could barely remember thanking him for it.

Was Liam trying to make up for the fact he protected Zoey’s secrets? Or was there more that he was hiding, and this was all just a way to cover it up?

What if Liam had known Jake was going to leave? What if he knew of someone else who planned to hurt him? What if Liam was only trying to get closer to him so that he could hurt him as well? What if he was only using him as well? And how much of this was Henry in on?

Drew groaned, dragging his hand down his face. He was being dramatic again. Liam… probably wouldn’t do that to him…

He shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind, and forced himself to stand, dragging himself to his closet to finally start getting ready for the day.

***

The moment Drew stepped foot on campus, his earbuds went in, and the world faded out. And while his body was stuck going through the motions, his mind was able to wander freely.

And for a while, Drew allowed himself to forget. To pretend nothing existed. To pretend… he didn’t exist.

It was a comforting thought…

But it didn’t last as long as he would’ve liked, because reality always found a way to pull him back down…

And it happened when he noticed Jake in the cafeteria… with Hailey.

The two were only visible for a few moments, and disappeared in the crowds the next, but Drew’s eyes couldn’t leave them for a second.

He could feel a white-hot flame ignite in his chest as he stared. And even after lunch had ended, he could still feel it burning. He tried his best to cover it, but the sparks refused to fade.

By the end of the day, Drew could still feel it, burning away at his insides. It guided his movements, and his hand slammed his locker closed with a loud bang.

The sound alone was enough to surprise him, and he forced himself to take a breath. He really needed to calm down. Maybe he could take a shower when he got home. Go to bed early and-

Drew flinched when he felt someone tap his shoulder, and quickly, he turned around, taking out an earbud to realize-

Jake was standing right there.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Drew snapped. He turned to leave, but-

“Drew, wait-” The sound of Jake’s voice was enough to stop him in his tracks. “Please, will you just listen to me for a minute?” Drew refused to turn around.

“Go away.” He whispered, only to hear Jake take a step closer.

“Drew, please. I-I just… I want to apologize.”

He’s lying.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Drew.”

Don’t trust him.

“I just want-”

Drew’s body was moving on its own as he turned on his heel, and without a second thought, he backhanded Jake in the face.

The blonde stumbled back, eyes growing wide as he took in a sharp breath. He blinked a few times, his shaking fingertips grazing the reddened mark forming on his face.

“What part of ‘I’m done with you’ do you not understand?!” Drew shouted. “You’re not getting a second chance from me, and nothing is going to change that! You chose your side, and you made it abundantly clear who your real friends are! I couldn’t give a single fuck about you, or your excuses now! Hell, you could turn up dead tomorrow and I wouldn’t give a shit! It’s what you and all those other freaks deserve!” Jake’s eyebrows narrowed. Drew must’ve struck a nerve there…

“Leave them out of this!” Jake’s voice raised slightly, and Drew could feel a smirk tug at his lips.

“Or what?” He taunted, taking a step towards the blonde and savoring the way he tensed up at the movement. “You gonna write a whiny little song about it? Is Hailey gonna run away crying again?” Drew’s cruel smile faded as he leaned back a bit. “You seriously think I’m gonna leave those freaks out of this when they’re the problem?!”

“If anyone’s the problem here, it’s you!” Jake suddenly snapped, and before Drew could even process it, Jake had shoved him back. “You made me feel like shit about myself, for years, all because of something that had absolutely nothing to do with you! And not only that, you go out of your fucking way to bully other people for the same fucking reason. All you know how to do is hurt people!! Yet I’m somehow the one apologizing!”

“Oh, don’t you dare try to make me look like the bad guy here!”

“You think bullying people for their interests makes you a good guy?!”

“You think lying to your best friend is any better?!” Drew was struggling to keep his voice steady as he took a step towards him.

“I lied because you made me feel like I couldn’t trust you! And if you weren’t so wrapped up in your own head, you’d realize that! You never think about anyone else but yourself you selfish, spoiled asshole!!”

Drew’s fist was moving before he could think, punching Jake in the face. The blonde wasted no time returning the gesture.

Pain flooded Drew’s senses, yet only seemed to fuel the burning flame in his chest.

The fire blinded him, painting his world a deep, blood red. His punches were aimless, and each hit he took was nothing more than a dull pulse to march along with his ever-growing heartbeat. He didn’t care what was going on anymore. He just wanted Jake Sterling to suffer.

He was only partially aware of the crowd surrounding them, their murmurs and chants nothing but a muffled whisper.

Yet the sound of Jake’s heavy breaths and winces rang loudly in his ears.

He was quick to note every subtle change in his posture. Every move he made. And the very moment he’d tossed his jacket to the ground, revealing arms reddened from bruises.

Jake suddenly lunged forward, grabbing Drew by his collar and pinning him to the lockers. Drew’s head jerked, the air forced from his lungs in a choked exhale.

And for a moment, Drew couldn’t breathe. His mind was spinning. He had to do something, but-

His eyes met Jake’s for a moment, yet there was no longer any life in eyes.

Suddenly, a blunt force hit Drew’s stomach, causing him to gag. He had to escape, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get enough power for another punch from his position. So he did the next thing he thought of: he dug his nails into Jake’s skin, scratching him just above his brow. The blonde winced, his grip loosening for a second as he stumbled back, and Drew seized the opportunity to break away from him, placing a hand on his chest as he struggled to catch his breath.

And the second he finally did so, he was running at Jake once again, swinging at him again and hitting his eye. But Jake only faltered for a moment before grabbing Drew’s shoulders, slamming him to the floor.

Stars flooded his vision when his head smacked against the ground, his surroundings blurring together into a mess of dull colors.

Drew could feel Jake’s legs straddle his waist, preventing him from moving. He wasn’t strong enough to force Jake off of him either, no matter how much he fought against him.

There wasn’t anything Drew could do as he watched Jake draw his fist back, and-

…Drew could’ve sworn he heard something snap.

Pain erupted in the center of his face, and even something as simple as a breath burned.

He could feel blood dripping from his nose. He noticed some of it coating Jake’s knuckle.

Jake was about to punch him again when Drew noticed a pair of hands grab Jake by the arms, dragging him off as loud whistles began to blow. Another person, a security guard most likely, grabbed Drew as well.

Drew let out a wordless yell, struggling against the guards hold, desperate to get back to the fight.

But Drew noticed a flicker of light in Jake’s eyes for a moment, and Drew’s shaking breaths began to slow. His movements halted, and he allowed himself to just… stare. And take in the damage he’d done.

Jake’s eye was swollen, his arms and cheeks littered with bruises. Small scratches ran along his brow, bleeding ever so slightly.

Yet his eyes were no longer cold. They’d gone… almost glossy. And Drew couldn’t understand why.

“Jake!”

The familiar voice dragged Drew back to reality, and he tore his gaze from the blonde to see a familiar figure forcing her way through the crowds.

Her black eyes were wide, worry etched in her features as she tried to get to Jake.

And Drew could recall when he had once been in her place.

When he was the one who mattered.

When it was him, not her…

Not Hailey.

…Before he knew it, he was screaming again. An incoherent string of profanities and insults. Tearing into Jake’s insecurities, anything that would give him the last word in the fight.

The words burned on his tongue, but he couldn’t stop them for escaping.

And in the end, Drew cherished the broken look in Jake’s eyes as the words left his bleeding lips.

*+*+*

Drew winced as his fingertips grazed his nose again. Despite the nurse’s exasperated comments, Drew knew it must’ve been broken. Yet all he was given was some tissues and a measly ice pack before she left to tend to Jake.

The two had been dragged to the nurses office, and while Drew was left in the waiting room, Jake was taken to the infirmary room. Hailey had insisted on following, but she was eventually sent away.

Drew glanced down at his feet, despite the nurse telling him numerous times to keep his head elevated to stop the bleeding.

The fight replayed in his head over and over again. And even still, Drew couldn’t get over the lifeless look in his old friend’s eyes.

It was strange to think that a month ago, those same eyes would’ve looked at him with such warmth and care…

Drew glanced up when he heard Jake’s door open, and when the blonde walked past him, he noticed how red his eyes had gotten. They looked almost… watery. Drew averted his gaze, keeping it fixed the tiled flooring as he listened to Jake’s footsteps slowly fade. But before Drew could hear the door open, Jake paused.

“I think I’m done with you, too.” He whispered, his voice oddly unsteady. Drew glanced up at him, but the blonde was already gone. Leaving Drew alone in silence.

The words repeated in his mind. Then again, and again, and-

Drew realized he finally did it.

He finally burned the bridge between him and Jake. There’d be no going back now.

He’d gotten what he wanted…

So… why could feel his heart stop for a moment. Why was his throat growing tighter. Why couldn’t he breathe?

Drew finally tilted his head up, blinking a few times as he struggled to take in an even breath of air.

Why was this happening? This is what he wanted, wasn’t it?

Jake was finally gone…

[amberlynnmurdock]

Blind Faith (Ch. 12)

Chapter Twelve: Losing Faith

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: Matt and you go to the bar dinner, where you meet one of Matt's old colleagues.

A/N: I'M BACK WITH AN UPDATE! I'm sorry it took long! I had my birthday and then things got really busy! I'm excited for this chapter because we finally introduce the villain of the story...ahh, it only gets crazier from here. Thank you all who've read and stuck with this story, I'm really loving writing it <3

Tags: @starry-night-20 @sumsytee @queerqueenlynn @mattmurdocksstarlight @marvelcinematiquniverse @hailey-murdock (please let me know if you want to be tagged/if I missed you!)

Ao3 Link

gif is from https://emziess.tumblr.com/

Nelson & Murdock

With Karen away and Foggy at a wedding with Marci, it was only you and Matt this Friday—the Friday of the bar dinner, which Matt was taking you as his plus one. 

All day, the two of you seemed to be strangely avoiding the topic. You’d drop off files at Matt’s desk and quietly walk away. He’d open his mouth to say something and then tell you never mind. Matt decided to skip lunch and get a head start on work for Monday, while you stepped out to grab a sandwich. It wasn’t awkward at the office—just more tense than usual. You weren’t even sure how you’d be getting there tonight—if Matt was picking you up with a driver or you were getting a taxi by yourself. 

It was nearly two in the afternoon, and neither of you had brought it up yet. Even though it was tonight! 

You sat at your desk with a pencil in hand and a brief in front of you. You mindlessly drew scribbles in the margins, thinking of all of this, when suddenly Matt came out of his office. His tie swayed gently in front of him as he reached out to feel for the doorway. His eyes were hidden behind his dark red glasses. When he stopped to talk to you, you smiled at him. 

“Hey,” you said. 

“Hey,” Matt replied. “I was uh, thinking—about tonight.” 

“Oh yeah, me too,” you replied perhaps a little too quickly. 

Matt gave an uncomfortable smile and scratched the back of his neck. “I was just on the phone with Foggy—he said it was alright if I got a driver for us on the firm card. Takes us there and back. That is if you don’t already have plans of getting there.” 

“No, I don’t have plans,” you answered. “I figure it makes the most sense if we go together, right?” 

“Right,” Matt affirmed. “Well then, I’ll call the company now. Maybe be ready by six? It’s pretty slow today, without Karen and Foggy. I was thinking we could close early so we can get ready.” 

You perked at the mention of the office closing early. “That works for me. Sure, I’ll be ready by six.” 

“Great, I’ll order the car then,” Matt was about to turn away, but you stopped him short.

“Don’t you need my address?” 

Matt laughed uncomfortably, “Oh right, yes. What is it?” 

“West 45th and 11th,” you told him. Matt nodded in response and went back to his office. After he made the call, Matt said you could go home to get ready. 

“Do you need me to do anything before I go?” You asked Matt once more before heading out. He sat at his desk, laptop open and Orbit reader on. Matt shook his head. 

“Just get home safely, that’s all. I’ll be at your apartment at six with the driver,” Matt smiled. You smiled, knocked on the wall of his office as a goodbye, and left for home. 

You were thankful Matt let you go home early, because boy, did it take you a long time to get ready. You already had your dress laid out, but it was the decision of hairstyle and makeup that took you the longest. 

After a long while of scrolling Pinterest for hair ideas and makeup looks, you finally decided that simplicity was best. You’d blow out your hair and curl the ends for an effortlessly natural look. For makeup, you decided on a very, very soft glam. 

Never mind your hair and makeup—it was your dress that was the star of the show. When you picked it off the rack, you thought nothing of it. You loved its dark red color and leg slit, square neckline, and thin straps. But it wasn’t until you tried it on, with your hair and makeup done, that you really thought you made the right decision in choosing it. 

The dress fit you flawlessly—it hugged every curve of your body, and it cascaded beautifully at your waist with the slit teasing a glimpse of your skin. You twisted from side to side to see it from each angle. And despite feeling beautiful in this dress, despite having an opportunity to meet other lawyers in the city, you couldn’t help but wonder what your savior would’ve thought if he saw you in this dress. 

Immediately scrapping the thought away, you checked the time. It was a half hour to six—Matt would be here soon. 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

Your friends were getting ready for their own night out in the city and they wouldn’t let you leave until you took one tequila shot with them. Hannah was the one who suckered you into doing it—she said you needed to loosen up before schmoozing with the big shots. You took one small shot of tequila, enough to calm your nerves for the evening. 

Then, your phone vibrated in your purse. Matt Murdock. 

“Hello?” You shushed your friends as they began to laugh. 

“I’m here with the driver,” Matt said on the line, “are you ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be,” you slipped on your black heels and waved goodbye to your friends. “I’ll be right out.” 

After you entered the elevator, you glanced at yourself in the dainty mirror. You normally felt a rush in your chest when you went out with your friends, but this time, the rush was different. You weren’t going out with your friends, so you were absent of that familiar feeling. It was a rush that reminded you of the times you’d meet your savior on your roof. A feeling you’ve missed over the past few weeks. No time for thinking of that. 

When you stepped out of the lobby, you were surprised to see Matt through the doors of your apartment building, standing in a tuxedo against the door of the car. He had his cane in his hands in front of him, and his head was tilted down toward the pavement. When he heard you open the door of the building and the bell chimed, he looked up behind his dark red glasses and stood up more straight. Matt smiled, and you weren’t going to lie—he looked quite handsome in his tuxedo, so much that his smile could’ve made you melt right there. 

“Thanks for getting me,” you said, breaking a small silence. “You look really nice, Matt.”

Matt seemed taken aback by your compliment. He stammered with his thank you and smiled again. 

“Thank you,” he finally said. “Let me get the door for you.” He turned around and opened the car door, letting you inside. You walked carefully in your heels—it’s been a while since you’ve worn them—and you almost slipped on a pebble, had Matt not quickly grabbed your waist and steadied you. His hands felt warm and strong through the thin fabric of your dress. You gasped as you grabbed onto his arm to pull yourself together. 

“Sorry,” you breathed. 

“It’s okay,” Matt said softly. “I’ve got you.” 

You stepped into the large black car and settled in the seat. You smiled at the driver who smiled at you in return through the rearview window. 

“Well, don’t you look awfully pretty,” the older man said. Matt climbed into the car on the opposite side and smiled. “Doesn’t she look—“ and when the driver remembered Matt’s disability, he shut his mouth. Matt chuckled in response and told him it was okay.

“I’m sure he’s right,” Matt said after some time and you were on your way to the dinner. 

“Hm?” You hummed in response, caught off guard. 

“That you look pretty,” Matt explained, cane folded and resting in his lap. He fiddled with the strap at the top. “I’m sure you look very pretty.”

Your heart grew in your chest at this, the sweetness of Matt’s words and tenderness in his voice, almost shy. You smiled to yourself.

“Oh, it’s okay,” you argued gently. You didn’t want him to feel compelled to compliment you—you weren’t fishing for compliments. “You don’t—you don’t have to—“

“I mean it,” Matt interrupted you. “I—well, what kind of dress are you wearing? What color is it? I can… paint a picture in my mind.”

You paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. It probably meant a lot to him, to describe little things like this. And he seemed genuinely interested. Who were you to refuse? 

“Well, my dress is long. It has a slit on one side. It has a square neckline with thin straps. It’s a dark red color. Almost maroon. I love this color,” you said the last part aloud, not meaning to. 

“I’m sure the color looks beautiful on you,” Matt said. 

“Thank you,” you blushed. “I love it.” You started to wonder… and you remember Matt mentioning an accident in the past, but had he always been blind? And as if he read your mind, Matt spoke up again.

“I haven’t always been blind,” he spoke quietly. “It was an accident from when I was a kid. So, I know maroon. If you’re wondering.” 

“I was,” you said honestly. He hummed in response. 

After a few more lights and a couple more blocks, the driver finally pulled up to the venue of the bar dinner. You looked at the stunning building in amazement behind the tinted windows of the car. 

“Are we here?” Matt asked. 

You nodded your head. “I believe so.”

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

The Bar Dinner 

Walking up the steps to the venue was half the battle. It was like nearly every attorney and law firm in New York City was at this event—crowds of people lined the steps, people coming in and out to have a smoke on the terrace or meet colleagues. You and Matt finally managed to make it past security and joined more guests inside. 

You were hit with an immediate mix of colognes and perfumes—men dressed in fancy suits and women dressed in extravagant gowns. You were relieved to see their gowns—you were afraid your dress was too much—but clearly, it wasn’t enough. These people all seemed to know each other, whether they were colleagues from law school or opposing counsels—it seemed they left their differences in the courtroom. It was apparent that you stood out like a sore thumb, being one of the youngest people at the event. Many of them were older folks or Matt’s age. 

You quickly scanned the crowd and found no one as young as you—fresh out of college and only studying to get into law school. You felt your heart rate pick up and suddenly felt very self-conscious. You felt Matt’s hand touch your elbow for guidance.  

“Should we get a drink?” 

“Yes,” you said, almost too quickly. There was an opening at the bar, and you guided yourself and Matt to it. All the bartenders wore the same thing: white button-downs and black vests. Men had their hair slicked back and women had their hair in a bun. 

You approached the bar and ordered yourself an espresso martini, while Matt opted for Macallan 18, neat. It was apparent both of you were ditching your normal orders from Josie’s, and for good reason: neither of you would be spending a dime tonight. 

Matt leaned on his elbow at the bar and faced you. 

“So,” he said, “What do you think so far?” 

“I think I feel really out of place,” you confessed. “There are so many people here and they all look so…”

“Pretentious?” 

“That sounds about right,” you giggled. “Yeah.” 

The bartender placed your drinks at the bar, and Matt reached into his back pocket to leave a tip. Suddenly, you both heard someone call Matt’s name. 

“Mr. Murdock,” a light, feminine voice called. From behind you came a tall woman, older, with a pixie cut and black hair. She wore a simple yet elegant black dress that had an open back, as opposed to the full coverage it gave up to her collarbone. To pair, she wore oval gold earrings and gold bracelets to match. “What a pleasure,” she said. She placed a soft hand on Matt’s shoulder and squeezed a bit before returning it to her side. 

“Geri Hogarth,” Matt instantly recognized her voice with a smile. Your eyes widened at the name of Hogarth and you nervously sipped your martini. 

“How’s Franklin?” She asked Matt as she sipped her own drink. You were curious what a prestige attorney chose as a beverage—it actually didn’t look like alcohol at all. Maybe a Diet Coke?

“Foggy’s doin’ well. I think he’s happier being back in the streets,” Matt chuckled. 

“He was so good for us, but I know that’s where he belongs. With you,” Geri added with a warm smile. She spoke so eloquently like she took her time to speak every syllable of a word. And when her dark brown eyes fell on you, you found yourself standing a bit taller, with your shoulders back. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met.” She stated. 

“This is __,” Matt introduced you to Geri. “Our new legal assistant.”

“Ah,” Geri smiled at you and held out her delicate, freshly manicured hand. “It’s a pleasure. You’re in good hands at Nelson & Murdock, __.” 

“Oh, I know it,” you agreed, beaming at her. “I really love it. I’ve learned so much from Matt, Foggy and Karen.” 

“And are you thinking of law school?” 

“I’m studying for the LSAT now,” you told Geri proudly. She held your gaze so carefully—you couldn’t break the eye contact. 

She laughed and looked at Matt. “I sure don’t miss studying for that test.”

“I agree,” Matt smiled. “But __ is very smart. She’ll do better than us. She’s really impressed us all.”

“Really,” Geri raised her eyebrows, interested. “Well, Ms. __, if you ever choose to leave Nelson & Murdock and you’re interested in something different, let me know.” Geri reached into her small silver purse and pulled out a business card for you. You took it gratefully and immediately tucked it into your own bag. 

“Stealing my legal assistant, are you?” Matt joked. “She’s ours.” 

The way Matt said this made your heart skip in your chest. You played it off cooly and laughed. You smiled at Geri. 

“Wow, definitely. Thank you, Ms. Hogarth,” you said amazed. 

“Call me Geri,” she said. “It was lovely to meet you. I’m sure I will see you around.” With one last squeeze of Matt’s arm, Geri went off into the crowd. You looked at Matt in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe I just met Geri freakin’ Hogarth!” You said excitedly. Matt chuckled and took a sip of his Macallan. 

“She’s a great woman, great attorney,” Matt nodded. “It’s nice having a connection like that. All thanks to Foggy, though. Before we started our firm again, he was there for a while.” 

“I had no idea,” you shook your head, “and she calls him Franklin?” 

“That’s his real name,” Matt smiled. “We know him as Foggy, of course.”

“Listen, Matt—I’m not leaving yet, but rest assured I’m keeping Geri’s card for the future.” 

“By all means,” Matt raised his hands in surrender, “but don’t leave us yet. We need you.”

“Oh, please.” 

“It’s true,” Matt nodded. 

“Well, you guys came at the right time in my life, too.” 

Matt finished the rest of his drink. With his senses, he picked up that you were almost done with your martini. He gestured in your direction. 

“Another espresso martini?” 

“Please,” you said softly. 

Matt ordered another round of drinks for you both and cheered with you. 

“Do you want to schmooze with more pretentious lawyers of Manhattan?” Matt asked. 

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

Schmoozing was so easy—comical, but easy. Many, if not all, of the groups of men you and Matt decided to join, were drunk and on their fifth or sixth drink of night. And the dinner was only an hour in. Matt put his grievances with you in a box in his mind and tucked it far away to be able to enjoy this charade with you. He laughed behind his whiskey glass as you gassed up the drunken men who bragged about their mediocre wins in court. These men just loved to talk, and you loved to pretend you loved to listen. 

Matt listened carefully to your heart beat—it was beating faster than normal, probably because of the loud setting and alcohol, but from the way you spoke with airiness in your tone, and your laugh, he knew you were happy right now. Happy to be at this event. Perhaps even happy with him. 

You seemed to notice Matt listening carefully. He stood with his hand on his cane, the other holding his nearly empty third glass of Macallan. You boldly strutted over to him and grabbed Matt by his forearm, leading him away from the group of men without saying goodbye. 

“What’s wrong?” Was Matt’s first question to ask on instinct. You were pulling him away, and he was too focused on you to pick up on if anything was going wrong. 

“Nothing,” you giggled softly. “I just got bored. Let’s bother the next group.” 

Matt laughed and nodded, finishing the last of his Macallan. You finished your martini as well. 

“Actually, before then, let me get us some drinks,” you suggested, feeling the alcohol swish in your system. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.” 

When you took the glass from Matt’s hands, your fingertips brushed against him, and an undeniable feeling of connection spread across both your palms. He wanted to ignore it, but he couldn’t, your touch was so distinguishable. It reminded him of how depraved of it he was. 

“Okay,” Matt said, a serious demeanor falling over his entire body. For a moment, he was reminded of all he put you through. He was reminded of that dreadful night on your rooftop when he yelled at you, all because you wanted to know the truth. And here you were, with no idea that it was him. What would you even say? 

It didn’t matter. You were on your way to the bar, pushing past people and politely smiling your way through. It was no doubt so many of the people would love you. You were charming, one of the younger attendees of the crowd, and so ambitious. Matt waited patiently and listened to your heartbeat so he knew you arrived at the bar safely, even if it was only a few feet away. He closed his eyes behind his dark red glasses and listened as you ordered both your drinks. 

Even from here, he could smell your perfume. It was new, he noticed. With notes of pomegranate, musk, and magnolia. It was enticing. It stirred something in Matt, something he had to seriously stop thinking about immediately. 

And then suddenly, like a dark stormy cloud quickly rolling over fields, a stronger scent of cologne overtook your scent from Matt’s senses. It was a disgustingly overwhelming cologne with notes of amber, woody, and lavender. Nauseating. Overbearing. It completely covered your scent from his senses. And when he heard that oh-so-familiar pompous voice over the crowd, speaking to you, Matt froze in place. 

Oh, no. 

“What is a beautiful young lady like you doing at an event with a bunch of old head lawyers?” The pompous, masculine voice said. Matt hadn’t heard that annoying voice in years, not since he and Foggy left their job at Landman & Zack. God, Matt couldn’t stand his presence, his obnoxious attitude, and his greed. He was Matt’s age, son of a partner, son of thee Zack, an ungrateful, conniving person. It was Zachary Zack. Yes, that really was his name. 

“A beautiful young lady like me is trying to order drinks,” Matt heard you say in return. He wanted to smile at your quickness but he couldn’t. He stood in place, listening from afar. 

“I see you’ve got two drinks there,” Zach said. “Are you here…alone?” 

“If you read the invitation carefully, it said two representatives from each law firm were invited. So no, I’m not alone.”

“I don’t assume you date your boss, do you?” Zach joked. Matt’s grip on his cane was so tight, he was sure he broke open his cuts again. 

“No,” you answered curtly. “I don’t assume you date coworkers, do you?” 

Zach let out a laugh, placed a hand on his chest. You took a good look at the young lawyer and raised a suspicious eyebrow. He had tan skin—he seemed like the type to spend summers in the Hamptons—and sandy blonde hair. He was wearing a three-piece suit and a giant gold watch on his left wrist. You hated that you found him attractive. 

“Smart girl,” he smiled a bright white, dazzling smile. “Thank God you’re not a coworker.” 

And to Matt’s dismay—no, his fear—you smiled in return. He didn’t have to see it to know you were smiling, he knew it by the way your heart picked up and you let out a laugh through your nose. It was telling, it was happening, and there was nothing he could do about it. Unless…

Matt started to make his way to the bar, tapping his cane in front of him, ignoring the shoulders he pushed through and elbows he dodged. When he finally reached where you stood, he could sense every muscle in Zach’s body tightened as he too recognized Matt Murdock after all these years. 

“Murdock,” Zach announced like he was a game show host, “never thought I’d see you at one of these fancy events. Never seemed your style!” It was a poor attempt at friendly conversation, and Matt knew his true intentions. Still, Matt smiled in return and held out his hand. 

“Is that—Zachary Zack?” Matt pretended to guess, to be shocked he was running into a former colleague. And of course, it worked. 

“Sure is, buddy,” Zach said through gritted teeth. He shook Matt’s hand and gave it an aggressive squeeze. Matt pulled his hand back and gripped his cane. 

“__,” Matt said your name, “This is Zachary Zack. From—“

“Landman & Zack. Come on buddy, I can introduce myself—wait, Murdock is your boss?” Zach said in disbelief. You smiled, amused at this interaction. 

“Yeah, he is,” you said. “How do you guys know each other?” 

“We uh, used to work together at Landman & Zack,” Matt explained. Zach nodded and caught your eyes—his eyes were so blue. He seemed goofy, in a strange way. You couldn’t tell if he was a douchebag or just a really loud man. Regardless, his energy did something to you—intrigued you. 

“Until Murdock and his buddy—what, Foggy?—decided to start from the ground up and build their own firm. Gotta say it was pretty respectable to leave a big firm like that. To take a risk,” Zach seemed to calm his demeanor when Matt came over, something Matt picked up on immediately. He was trying to impress upon you. Matt didn’t like that. And his fake compliment was really him saying he and Foggy were idiots for deciding to start their own firm, but the joke is on him. 

“Oh, you know, we learned a lot from you guys. What to do and what not to do,” Matt mustered a smile. 

“Hmm. So, your name is __?” Zach returned his attention to you. You grabbed Matt’s hand and gave him his glass of Macallan. 

“It is,” you said, meeting his eyes. “Nice to meet you, Zach.” 

“Tell me, are you in law school? Studying?” 

“I just graduated with my pre-law degree from New York University.”

“Impressive,” Zach smiled. You liked this calmer demeanor from him, it was more friendly and seemed genuine. “Are you thinking of law school?” 

“Of course,” you nodded. “I’m studying for the LSAT now.”

“Ah, the LSAT,” Zach said wistfully. Matt clenched his jaw. “I remember those days. Hey, if you ever need help with it, I know some people on the Board who write the questions. I’d love to have you come to the office one day and I can show you some tips. I, uh, kind of scored a 173 on the test.” 

Matt rolled his eyes behind his dark red glasses. I scored a 175. 

“Really?” Your interest was piqued, by not only his offer of help but also an invitation to another big law firm in the city. “I’d love that.” 

“Here’s my card,” Zach reached into his pocket and handed you his business card. It was thicker than Geri’s and had silver font. “Actually,” he interrupted and pulled out a pen, “here’s my personal number.” 

You raised an eyebrow and squinted your eyes. Zach raised his arms in defense, “I just want to help. Seriously.” 

“Alright, Mr. Zack. Thank you,” you smiled. Zach smiled in return. “It was lovely meeting you, Ms. __. I hope you do call me.” His attention fell on Matt again, and his expression turned hard. 

“Well, it was nice seein’ you Matt—you’re not offended when I say that, right? Ha, just kidding buddy,” Zach playfully punched Matt’s shoulder, but Matt stood as still as a statue. He conjured a smile as best he could and loosened his grip on his cane once he knew Zach was far enough away. 

Matt exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding. You flipped Zach’s card in your fingers and read, and re-read his name. He was a partner at Landman & Zack. And he invited you to reach out to him. 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

In the car ride home, Matt was awfully quiet. Maybe the alcohol had finally settled in him, maybe he was tired. You kept fiddling with Zach’s card in your hand, reading his numbers written out just for you. You looked over at Matt whose gaze was out the window.

“Did you have fun?” You asked him softly, feeling the liquor settle in you. 

“Yeah,” Matt said—he pressed his lips together in an attempt to smile. You couldn’t help but shake the feeling that something was wrong. 

“Did you?” He asked after a bit. 

“I did,” you looked at Zach’s card in your fingers. Your savior came to mind out of nowhere. His smile under his black mask, his voice low in your ear, his fingers caressing your body…most of all, his words that promised so much, his words that gave you so much faith. The more you looked at Zach’s name, the less faith you had in your love for your savior. It was like watching a home you used to live in slowly fade into the distance. You couldn’t help but keep watching as it got smaller and smaller until it was completely out of your sight. 

It was time to move on. 

[sirianasims]

I was near my due date when Griffin called a house meeting.

“Listen guys, as much as I love living here with y’all, I’ll be moving out in a few months. Daria and I are getting married, can you believe it? So we’re moving in together, probably buying a house in the suburbs where we can pretend that we’re real, functional adults.”

Jessica squealed with excitement.

“Whaaat? You proposed to Daria?”

“Of course not. She proposed to me.”

I was stunned. I mean, it wasn’t like it was against the law or anything, but I didn’t know any other girls who had done that.

“Freya, stop looking like you’ve seen a ghost. Daria is a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to get it. Why should she wait around for me to stop slacking? It’s one of the things I love most about her. She takes charge. Everywhere.”

He winked.

Jessica punched him in the shoulder.

“Too much information, Griffster. It’s more than enough that we can hear you guys sometimes.”

“Sorry, I’d ask her to keep it down, but the gag makes it hard for me to speak, you see.”

“Griffin!”

“And the handcuffs make it impossible to remove the gag!”

We all laughed, but I couldn’t quite let the mental picture of Griffin and Daria go.

We had all been unfortunate enough to walk in on them by accident. It was definitely something you only did once before you learned to always knock, even if the door was ajar.

Samuel and I were quite the opposite. He was so careful with me, like I was something fragile, or an easily spooked animal. And not just because I was heavily pregnant, it had been like that since the first time.

And he wasn’t just controlled in bed. Sometimes, if he was frustrated about something, he felt like a tightly wound spring that could go off at any time, but he never did. Samuel was always measured, composed, and polite.

I wanted to make him lose that control, just a little. The sex wasn’t bad, not that I had much to compare with, but we had definitely never been at risk of disturbing the neighbours the way Griffin and Daria did.

That night, I was awakened by a dull ache in my back, much stronger than the small twinges of pain I’d been feeling for a few days now. I woke Samuel up.

“I think it’s time.”

“Is she asleep?”

“Yeah, seems like it.”

Samuel came over and put his arms around me. For a moment, we just looked at her.

Hailey. Our daughter. We’d made her and now she was here. Even though it had been almost a month, the thought still blew my mind. And scared me.

When I learned to drive, someone told me what to do and what not to do, and gave me a license afterwards to prove that I knew what I was doing. There were no licenses for babies. They just let you take them home from the hospital by yourself, expecting you to figure it out.

It was terrifying. And amazing.

“Samuel, I want another one.”

He let out a quiet laugh.

“Another baby? Freya, we just had Hailey. Not only would your body benefit from at least a full year to recover, we also need to figure out what we’re doing when Griffin moves out.”

“I know. But I want more, I want at least two or three. And I don’t want them to be ten years apart like me and my sister. I want them to be friends.”

“I get that, but still. And don’t you want some time back at work before we have more kids?”

I looked at Hailey. She was so tiny, so fragile. She depended on us for everything. Back to work meant endless training, weekends and evenings spent on matches. And Samuel would work long hours when he became a resident doctor. We’d be leaving Hailey with strangers for most of the day.

“No. Samuel, I don’t want to go back. Could we… could I maybe stay at home for a while? I don’t want to get a nanny or send her to daycare. I want to be there for her. And you’re going to be so busy when you start your residency, she’d never see either of us.”

“Freya, are you sure? If you skip out on your contract, you risk never getting signed again. What if you can’t go back? And how long would you stay home? Have you thought this through?”

“Samuel, this is really important to me. I don’t care about the contract. I want to stay home until we’re done having kids, maybe until the youngest gets ready for kindergarten. And if that takes ten years, then I’ll figure out what to do then. I just – I don’t want to abandon our baby.”

“Daycare is hardly abandonment. I know you have some issues, but I promise she’d be perfectly fine. But listen, this is your decision, your career, and I’m not going to argue. If you feel this strongly about it, we’ll make it work.”

“I do. Thank you.”

He put his arms around me again, pressing his cheek against mine.

“I guess I better look for residency somewhere affordable, then.”

beginning / previous / next

[sirwow]

LOGHAIL WAR !! a short fic about these two's fight in my au under the cut to complement this art

A soft snowfall paints piles of rubbish in a coat of frost. The crackling of Hailey and Logan’s footsteps in the snow is occasionally broken up by the crinkling of metal. Logan carefully tipped toed behind Hailey’s march- this scrapyard had to have been abandoned for years at this point. It was uneasy. Logan clutched the baseball he was tossing between his hands. Hailey had an iron grip on her bat since they arrived. Logan’s nerves were only worsened from the sight.

“..H-Hailey I think we should turn back.. I don’t know what you want here but I’m sure w-we could figure something else-“

Hailey cut Logan’s worry short with a glare. “No. We’re almost there anyways. Stop being such a baby for once will you?” 

Her words stung more than the cold wind. Logan’s clutch on his baseball shifted from nervous fidgeting to a stone cold grip. They continued on until coming to an opening, marked by a looming broken down crane. Logan stopped in the center as Hailey drifted toward a junk pile. He tried to speak in some vain but his tongue caught itself, unwilling to comfort further. Rather Logan just watched in morbid curiosity at what Hailey was planning.

Shatter. 

It was so fast Logan barely processed what Hailey was doing. She raised her bat again- and right back into the door of a totaled car. No voice nor grunt could be discerned from her pummeling. A ruthless beating with unreadable reasons. It’s not like anyone would care but.. Logan’s nerves told him this was horribly wrong. 

A snag by the arm was enough to pull Hailey from her outlash, Logan pulling back till they were having a tug of war over the bat.

“Hailey what the heck has gotten into you?!” 

Hailey attempted to throw Logan off the bat “Why do you need to know? Just let me have this moment!”

Logan’s remaining sympathy evaporated. Using his full force, Logan ripped the bat easily from her hands and threw it aside her feet. Hailey stared him down but the wimpy doormat of a boy inside Logan was gone.

“Why do I need to know? Oh I don’t know? I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND?? How the hell am I supposed to help you when you take your emotions out like- like-“ Logan grabs his baseball from his pocket, pitching it directly into a old TV screen. The shatter startled Hailey for a moment but the insult was fast to leave it’s mark.

Hailey lifted her bat from the ground. “Maybe because you’d just try to “fix” all my issues only to make them worse, like getting us in the hospital in the first place!” Hailey turned and bludgeoned at a pot.

“I wasn’t fixing anything! I was confused why you didn’t just say you had feelings too- I-I thought you just tolerated me leaving me in a ditch for so long!”

“Sorry I have trust issues. I could and would have never taken you if you couldn’t stop being a coward for 5 minutes! But I guess I clearly should have had higher standards.”

Logan still faced away from Hailey. Tense silence danced with the snow and his hands shook. 

“You should have had higher standards? I should’ve with how you’re FUCKING TREATING ME! Ooh I’m SO sorry that I dared to WORRY about you when you left on a train with barely any notice!” Logan snarled through a childish gesture- smashing small glasses near him.

“Oh get a spine. 5 days. I WAS GONE FOR 5 DAYS! Nicole told me all you talked about was “Oh.. where’s Hailey.. oh woe is me..” Get a GRIP.”

“Get a grip- says the one who couldn’t handle talking about having a problem at home to me for 2 years-“

Hailey throws her bat into the garbage pile with a violent shriek of metal returning. She and Logan both turn to face each other, boiling enough to melt the snow that was picking up.

“You pampered piece of shit. Get out of my face.”

Hailey pointed Logan to the direction of the exit after getting in his face. 

“No.” 

Hailey backed off both in awe and disbelief that Logan was doing this. She gritted her teeth and screamed red in the face.

“..hhhhhHHH- I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

“WELL MAYBE I HATE YOU TOO!” Logan screamed back.

Then nothing. 

They saw each other for who they were again, faces both hurt and broken. They quietly collapsed to the ground and sat back to back sobbing. The wind played a twisted melody through old pipes and cracked glass. It remained so for what felt like eternity.

Logan regained his composure first. “H-Hailey.. I-I didn’t mean all that, I-“

“L-Logan please. Please don’t apologize. I-I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry.”

Logan shifted to sit in front of Hailey and cupped her tears with his hand. “Hailey I- I said that about your home- I don’t deserve anything after that- I never should have said a thing, I’m so sorry..”

Hailey held Logan back. “Logan, did you forget what I said? I deserve it..”

“W-what?? Don’t say that! What you said about me was true!”

“But you were being honest too!- I.. haha.. I don’t have the energy to argue this.. just- come here.”

Hailey pulled Logan in for a tight hug, laughing and crying over the situation. Logan was still lost in confusion but returned the favor as his tears returned. Their hearts raced together and slowed as they swayed back and forth holding each other. Their eyes closed, they simply let things be for a moment of respite.

Hailey eventually lightly pushed on Logan’s shoulders and he took the que to back off. She whipped her remaining tears and laughed a bit to herself. 

“..Thank you, Logan. I’m not sure what would’ve happened to me if you didn’t do something. Probably would have only gotten worse.”

Logan softly smiled while scratching his weary eyes. “Of course.. haha.. I don’t think I’ve ever done something like that in my life before.”

“Well keep it up for me will you?” Hailey cupped his face with both her hands.

“I promise I’ll try my best.”

“That’s perfect.”

Hailey kissed Logan on the nose. His face was redder then when he had screamed but he giggled and dove in for a cheek kiss before Hailey could get away. Both giggled flushed on the ground before Hailey got up and helped Logan up as well.

Grabbing their things, they left with a spark- burnt in the heart but reignited in the ashes.

[angelyuji]

love <3

aaron hotchner x reader warnings: toxic relationships, physical abuse, emotional abuse, misuse of tramua???, just abuse overall, yandere

“oh fuck you, aaron. you always twist my words.” you turn away, exasperated. you continue to cook the dinner you were making for the three of you. aaron had just changed from his suit to a tshirt and sweatpants, after coming home early.

“oh, so i’m the bad guy now? for wanting you to be safe?” your boyfriend grabs your shoulder, and turns you back to him.

rolling your eyes, “you know that’s not what i meant.” you grit out. aaron sighs.

“i’m not following.” he leans back against the kitchen counter, you see his shoulders tense as he raises a hand to rub his temples.

“all i said was that i wanted to start working again! summer’s over, so jack is back in school, so there is no reason for me to stay at home and do nothing all day!” you throw your hands up in the air, exhausted.

aaron stays silent, arms crossed. he stares at you as you go back to cooking dinner. “my answer is still no.”

bright anger burns through your veins, “no?” your eyes widen, dinner abandoned, you turn back to your boyfriend.

“that is what i said.” aaron turns around to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

“why.” you keep your anger buried, wanting to know why exactly your boyfriend had suddenly started acting like a raging dick.

“because me and jack need you here.” aaron starts to chug his water bottle, ignoring you.

you feel your face heat up and tears well up in your eyes, raging, “aaron, i need to go back to work. i’m not some free babysitter for you, aaron. i took this summer off because you needed some extra help. that’s all. i’m your girlfriend, not your nanny or some maid! i literally cannot keep arguing with you about this.” your anger bubbles over and you feel tears stream down your face. you see aaron turn back to you, his face shows no sympathy.

“so what’re you going to do, huh? break up with me?” aaron scoffs. you don’t say anything, “no. no, no, no.” he starts to shake his head, laughing to himself, “i can’t talk to you when you’re being this overdramatic.” he starts to walk away.

you grab his arm, “I’M NOT BEING OVERDRAMATIC, AARON.” it felt like time slowed down when the pain came. you grab the handle of the fridge to catch yourself, as pain blossomed across your face. the room spun as you catch your breath. your ears ring as you squint and steady yourself.

“-NOT YELL AT ME IN MY OWN HOME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME.” his face red, fury paints his face.

“what…” you mumble, clutching your face.

“you are jack’s mother. you are mine. you have no right to start yelling at me when all i’m doing is PROTECTING YOU.” you feel his hands grab you by the waist. he picks you up and places you on top of the kitchen counter, your ears won’t stop ringing. your vision clears as you feel something cold on your face. aaron’s face was kind once more, as you feel the ice pack resting against your burning face. you don’t respond. “i won’t let you get hurt. i won’t let what happened with hailey… happen again.” you nod.

“okay, i’m sorry.” you mumble, eyes wide, taking in everything at once.

“sorry for what.” he looks you in the eyes, expectantly.

“i’m sorry for asking to work, f-for wanting to b-break up,” you start to sob, heaving as you start understanding what happened. “i’m s-sorry for y-yelling at you. i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m-” aaron grabs you by your waist and pulls you into a hug, you bury your face into his shoulder.

“it’s okay, sweetheart, i know you just got a little confused.” he pulls away and cups your face, you wince. “i know you won’t pull anything like this again. you love me and you love jack, right?” he smiles and you see the man you love once more.

“right.” you sniffle.

a moment passes, “say it. say you love us. say you won’t leave.” you watch his face and see a shadow of the rage from before.

you feel your heart beating faster, “i love you and jack, and i promise, i will never ever leave.”

“good girl.” aaron smiles and pulls you into a kiss, you melt into the warmth of his love. gently pulling away, he rests his forehead against yours, “i won’t ever let you leave.”

[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Wishing

Matilda Age: (15 years old)

Warnings: dont remember them since this is a old imagine

Summary: Jay wishes for something horrible now she ends up in the hospital

Never say, I wish

Me and Matilda were in a fight over her grades. She had gotten a C- after i told repeatedly to study instead she was on her phone talking with friends and watching Disney+. Things had gotten to the point where Will tried to interfere but I ended up snapping at him. 

“Do you ever listen to my instructions?” 

“I do, oh my gosh Jay you never give me a break. It's always Mattie  study, Matilda this Matilda that.” She argued 

“Because you don't listen whenever you need to. This always happens. You don't study, you don't do your homework.”

“That was one time Jay” She said with an attitude “and everytime you say" Mom wouldn't be happy with what you're doing”. I wish you would just stop bringing her up”

“I wish you were never in my life” I snapped

As soon as I said that, I immediately regretted it and wanted to take it back. Matilda just stood there looking like she was about to cry.

“Mattie i'm sorry” i said

She just ran up to her room and slammed the door shut. Will gave a death glare and I knew I was so screwed not only with will but because I knew he would tell Hailey and Hailey would give me the worst lecturer of my life.

“Man why the hell would you say that”Will yelled

“I don’t know it just slipped”

“It just SLIPPED?”He yelled “Are you insane did you not think about what you said before you said it”

“I'm sorry I didn't think, I'll go say sorry to her now.” I said walking 

“No, let her calm down first because what you said was so wrong”. 

And just like that i had put myself in the worst situation

***

Matties POV

Why would he say that? Does he actually mean that? Maybe he is right, mom wouldn't be proud of me. I'm just a burden to both of them.

Walking around I felt a familiar feeling. The feeling of fainting. “Ugh of course this has to happen now” I yell in my head. I go to sit down on my desk chair but I don't make it very far when I can already feel myself falling.

Everything hurts so much.

All I can see is black.

***

Wills POV

Im sitting scrolling on my phone glancing at jay everyone once and a while who looks antsy to go see Matilda. I look back down at my phone and I hear a loud thud. Hoping its matilda releasing her anger by throwing things i yell to make sure she's ok. “Mattie you good up there?”

I don't hear an answer from her and I yell aging. “Mattie!” Me and Jay both exchange a worried look before running up to her room and barging in.

“Matt why aren't you- Shoot Mattie can you hear me? '' Will said, slightly slapping Mattie's face. 

“Jay go get the car ready we can't wait for an ambulance” Will immediately checked to make sure she had a pulse and was relieved she did.

Jay nodded and ran out to the car so he could pull it out to the front.

I picked Matilda realizing how light she is. I ran out to the car and jay opened the door for us and we sped off to med

“This is 50-21 gorge. I'm headed to Chicago med. 15 year old female was found unconscious in her room.” I could hear jay radio in

***

“See Jay, this is why we don't say things like that. I had a co-worker in New York who wished that she didn't have a sister. the next day her sister died on the way to her house.” 

“I'm not gonna say anything until I see Matilda. I could never forgive myself if something happened to her and that was the last thing I ever said to her.” Jay said, i could hear his voice. He was on the verge of tears but Jay doesn't like to cry in front of people because he thinks it's embarrassing. 

Just then connor came and me and jay stood up hoping for good news 

“So she's stable and it was just another episode. She does have a concussion. I assume she fell on her head because she didnt get down fast enough. “

“Can we see her now?’ I asked already knowing the answer.

“Of course, good luck with her. She's delirious from the meds.’ He chuckled and left to continue his work. 

“Matilda, stop. How many times do I have to tell you to stop playing with your IV”. Making her jump because she didn't see us walk in. 

“Ok Jay, you can say whatever you want to say now.”

“I'm so sorry I said that Mattie, I never meant to say that. I just had a bad day and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. 

“I forgive you, and i'm sorry to i should start to listen to you guys more often” She admitted

I just let out a small laugh and we all broke out in laughter on how stupid the argument was.

“I love you guys” Mattie said

“We love you too Mattie” Jay replied

I hate this one but i just wanted to post something while im working on a new imagine, even though i could've picked from many of my imagines i never posted

[fangirlfrom-hell]

A Day Full Of Emotions (Also the first time Jay sees Becca dance) || Jay Halstead x Healstead Sister || Healstead Sister one shot

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

Summary: There is a big art festival happening in Chicago and Becca will dance a solo for the first time in front of people. Jay has to work as a cop and can't be with her all the time as he wished. A bomb explodes in the event and everything becomes a mess. Bomb references to Season 5, episode 2.

Becca is Halstead sister. Remember she's a theatre girl. I might write something short about Hailey and Kim trying to do Becca's hair, because that's cute.

The song Becca is dancing is In- A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly, but only the part of the drums. Minute 6:29, for a better reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCkHanF4v1w

It was finally Saturday and the weather was perfect to be outside. It seemed like luck was on Becca's side, but she wasn't feeling very happy. In fact, she was feeling sick, nauseated. She laid on bed staring at the ceiling, until someone knocked at the door.

-"Morning, kiddo!" It was Jay. -"I'm sorry to wake you, but it's getting late and I need to get ready to work, so...".

Becca used to sleep in Jay's room whenever she stayed at his place. He always preferred to sleep in the couch, so she could be confortable in a proper bed.

-"Oh, yes. I'm sorry. It didn't crossed my mind". She said while standing up.

-"Don't worry. I'll just grab some clothes and get dressed in the bathroom. You can get ready in here...in fact, why are you still in bed? I have to drop you at your teacher's house on my way to the bullpen".

-"Yeah, about that...". Becca said scratching her eye. -"I don't think I'm going...".

-"What do you mean you are not going?" Jay didn't even let her finish the sentence. -"You've waiting for this day to come".

-"I'm not feeling so good. I have a stomachache and it feels like I'll throw up".

Jay instinctively touched her forehead to feel if she was irritated or had temperature, but everything felt normal. He immediatly knew what was goinng on.

There was a big art carnival happening in Chicago that day and Becca was going to participate in a dance group that would be moving around the park performing in different spots Mobile Dance, they called it. Her teacher gave her a solo and she was ready to do it, but it would be her very first time performing in front of an audience and the idea suddenly freaked her out.

-"You're good. You are just nervous". Jay said smiling.

About an hour later, Jay was helping Becca to put her backpacks inside of the truck, getting ready to leave. She was unusually quiet, but he didn't want to force any conversation.

-"Is Will coming?" Becca asked in the co-pilot seat.

-"I don't think so". Jay sighed. -"He has a shift at the hospital". Jay lied to Becca, not knowing if that last statement was true. He was mad at his brother for always puting their sister aside. He was also tired of lying for him, but he did it to protect Becca's feelings.

There was no reaction from Becca. The silence among them took over again.

-"I'm so sorry I can't go with you through all the stations. Since it is a huge event for the city, Platt asked us to be there patrolling. There's never enough cops for these things".

-"For the millionth time, Jay: don't worry, It's ok. I understand for real".

-"It's just that I don't feel confortable changing plans with you like this". -He continued with guilt.

-"Well, it's not like you won't see me, anyway...".

-"No. I'll be there in the third stop you make, that's the part of the park I'll patrol. I have my event map with the exact place and hour. I'll be in the spot a few minutes after you arrive to make sure to be in the front when people start to gather around".

-"And you won't get in trouble for that?"

-"I asked Platt, she agreed...in fact, she got a bit excited, don't be surprised if you find her among the crowd too". That made Becca blush in embarrassment. She hadn't tought there would be so many known people around. -"I'll be in my uniform, just rememeber that if you look for me".

That made Becca giggle, she always thought her brother looked funny on his police uniform.

-"All right, Bec. We're here". -Jay said while parking the truck. -"Is there any other of your friends coming here before the show?". He tried to ask casually. He didn't like the idea of leaving his little sister alone with someone he barely knew, even though it was her teacher. Anyway, he didn't have any other option, he had to go to work.

Above all, he didn't have the hability to do her artistic make up, nor to comb her hair as it was instructed: to braids up, one on each side. They should stick back to the head forming a circle. The idea was that they looked like horns. He tried, but failed miserably. Kim and Hailey wanted to help and gave it a try but ended up cursing whoever had the idea of that hair style. That's when Becca talked to her teacher and she proposed Jay to take care of her. She knew about Becca's family situation and was genuinely glad to help that little joyful kid.

-"No". Becca answered her brother's question. -"They all are going with their moms". That last piece of information was unnecesary, but she couldn't help it. She had certain grudge inside her chest, though she probably wasn't aware of it. Jay knew better and remained silent, thoughtful.

-"Hey! I will be there!". There was no more he could say.

-"I know". She smiled. That made Becca get out of her own mind.

The carnival was already full of people when Becca and her teacher arrived. They gathered with the dance group a few minutes before it was time to start. She looked around and found Kim among the cops, they waved hello when their eyes met. Burgess immediatly send a text to Jay: I just saw her, everything's ok. She looks fine . As the overprotective brother he was, Jay had his own security plan and the team was helping him to keep on eye on his sister.

As the hour drew near, Jay started to feel a mixure of excitement and nervousness. Involuntarily, he started to approach the place his sister would dance.

-"Isn't a little bit early?" Hailey asked following him.

-"Yeah. I don't know, I guess I don't want to miss it".

-"And you need to make sure she sees you". She guessed.

-"She needs to know someone is here with her, for her".

-"Well, she has a whole elite squad looking after her around the park and waiting to see her perform. She's not precisely alone...but I know what you mean. You are a good brother, she's very lucky to have you".

Jay just stared at Hailey, not knowing how to react or what to say, since he wasn't good dealing with these kind of feelings. The distant voice of a woman caught their attention before the moment became unconfortable. It came from a microphone afar: "...Come, everyone. Follow us to the mobile dance...". She was carrying a speaker.

-"It's them". Jay said looking at the horizon, searching for his sister among the heads of the group that was approaching them. He was nervous and couldn't hide it.

"...We are a dance group created by several institutions, dedicated to spread this art to every corner..."

-"There!" Hailey said pointing at Becca when she found her. -"So that's how the hair was supposed to look, uh". She laughed.

Becca was wearing a black leotard and black tights, nothing more. Her ballerina shoes were color red. She looked relaxed, but Jay didn't buy it, he knew how good she was to hide her feelings and emotions.

A lot of people began to gather while the woman with the microphone invited them to the show. Becca was moving her head from one place to another, eyes wide opened: "He said he would be here!", she said to her teacher. And he was right in front of her, on the other side of the circle that was now formed around the pallet where the dancers would perform. When their eyes met she greeted him effusively.

There was a ballet performance first, something classic with four teen ballerinas; then there was a tap number, a cheerful piece. All of the girls were presented as part of Becca's school, but Jay wasn't really paying attention to any of them, he just applauded by inertia at the end of each song. His anxiety for Becca grew after each number and Hailey noticed, thinking that was a cute gesture coming from a man like him.

-"Now..." -The woman on the microphone spoke. It was time for the third number. -"...presenting a choreography by Martha Bennett...".

-"That's Becca's teacher". Jay tensed up, touching Hailey's shoulder.

-"...Becca Halstead".

Jay's applause was considerably louder than everyone else's while the girl got into position. The music started to play, it was a psychedelic mix with drumbs. She was moving with very precise and abrupt movements, very mesmerizing.

-"Wow!" Hailey expressed. -"I've never seen her like this. She's usually so tiny, cute and shy".

-"I didn't...knew she could do this". Jay answered without taking his eyes off his sister. Many feelings began to form inside of him.

-"She's a whole different person".

When she finished, the public applauded in a normal way. It was Jay and Hailey who did it most effusively, even shouting with excitement. Becca turned to them a little bit embarrased and gave them a forced smile.

"Thank you for staying with us, this is Mobile Dance..." They announced through the microphone when all of the numbers were over. "...Please tag us if you post our dances online...".

As soon as she could, Becca ran to her brother's arms and he hugged her tight, lifting her a little bit.

-"You killed it!" Hailey said to the little girl.

-"Thanks...I actually messed up in like a lot of parts...".

-"Don't be so hard on you! You did great!" Her teacher yelled from a few steps far.

-"I think you were perfect. I'm actually very...impressed". Jay said with pride.

-"You are?"

-"I'm really proud of you". Becca smiled with teary eyes at her brother's statement.

-"Hey! Why don't we take a picture of you two?" Hailey proposed with her cellphone in hand. -"Seems like a day to remember".

Jay and Becca posed to the camera, both showing a bright smile.

-"You should take one with us too". Becca invited her brother's partner.

-"Uh--". She hesitated looking at Jay, who nodded in agreement. -"Sure".

-"There you go!". The lady who helped them take the photo said. -"Sush a beautiful family".

-"I-- should go back to our spot". Hailey said before running away.

At the same time, the dance group was ready to move to the next station. Becca's teacher called her to go.

-"I'll see you later, ok? I'll take you to dinner, whatever you want". He said as Becca was walking to her group. Jay's heart started to beat very fast as he saw his sister depart. -"Be careful, all right?".

The girl just answered with a thumb up. One of the moms in the group noticed the scene and addressed Jay: "Don't worry, Detective. She's not alone. We are taking good care of her!"

At the other side of the festival, Burgess, Atwater and Ruzek were walking the place.

-"So where am I getting these pastries for the boss?" Kim asked with a laugh.

-"Uh, Voight likes Ferrara's". Kevin answered. -"I personally think that Scafuri's better".

-"Is that what you think?"

-"Of course".

-"Ferrara's it is". She concluded.

-"Ferrara's it is". Adam repeated.

Kevin got apart from the group for a few seconds and noticed something strange: a van parking in a closed alley. His instincts told him that something was wrong.

-"Hey, we got a dark van with no plates, 5 o'clock". He said in the radio.

-"All right". Adam answered the call. -"That alley was supposed to be closed to traffic".

Two man got out of the van and started o walk way fom the place.

-"Hey, yo, genteman!" Kevin yelled trying to stop them, but they started to run. The officer ran after them.

-"Kim, you seeing this?" Adam asked.

-"Go! Go!" She said as they reached the van. There was smoke coming from the inside, as soon as they looked out they knew it was a bomb.

-"Son of a bitch! Clear this area and go". Adam ordered. -"I got Kev!".

-"50-21 Eddie. 10-1, 10-1. Roll us a bomb squad. We've a van with a possible explosive device.

Jay and Hailey listened to the call on their radios as an explosion sounded in the distance, alarming averyone around.

-"Shit!". Jay said. -"Let's clear the area".

-"Move! Move! Everybody get out!". Hailey started yelling.

-"Sergeant?" Jay talked to his radio as he was moving people with his free arm. -"My sister was heading to the North part of the park, do you have eyes on her? I need to know if she's ok".

-"Negative" -Platt answered. There was a lot of noise in her background. -"Don't worry, Halstead, I will find her".

As soon as she ended the conversation, she started to look around for the girl, but everything was a mess. People was running around in all directions, it was hard to see their faces. At that point, most of the 21st knew who Becca was, so it was easy for Platt to order some of the cops to be aware in case she crossed their ways.

Minutes later, one of them called on the radio "Sergeant, we found the girl". The crowd had already thinned, as most of the civilians had been evacuated, so it was easy for Platt to find them.

-"Thank God!" She exclaimed when she saw the little Halstead sitting under a tree.

-"We found her on the floor. She's a bit hurt, but nothing to worry about. She must have fallen while running, some people stepped on her". The cop informed. -"She wasn't alone, she was with her teacher. It was hard to convince the lady to go".

-"All right". Platt sighed. -"I'll take care of this now. Thank you, guys!"

-"Becca, it's Trudy. Do you remember me? Your brother sent me to find you. Are you feeling all right? I heard you were a bit hurt".

-"I feel a little bit dizzy, but I'm ok".

-"I think we should go to the hospital to check you, just to make sure everything is really ok".

-"No, I---Where's Jay?"

-Your brother is working right now. They got a heavy case and he needs to be there with the team. He's very worried about you, and I promised him I would find you and take care of you. So, would you let me take you to The Med? I will be right to your side all the time, I promise".

The next thing Becca knew was that she woke up in a different place. She was lying down in a sofa, facing the wall. As her eyes began to slowly open, she heard a distant conversation: "The doctor was worried for the hits in the head, but she said there is no damage, appart from some bruises and scratches she's completely fine. She asked me to call your father to know if he was home, and also to let him know she was fine. She didn't want him to pick her up, tough. She waited for you."

She turned around when she heard a door open and some foot steps approaching. Thet's when she noticed she wasn't wearing her dance clothes anymore. Instead, she was wearing a gray sweater with the CPD logo printed on the front. That's when she realized she was in the bullpen, the coffee room to be precisely, it looked so different at night with the lights off.

-"Hey there, sleepy beauty". Jay said crouching down to her level. -"I was told you were waiting for me. Sorry for the delay".

-"What time is it?" Becca asked standing up.

-"Hey, hey, hey, slow down. You hit your head, you gotta take it easy. How are you feeling?".

-"I'm fine, I'm just sleepy and tired. Sergent Platt took me to the hospital, The Med. Guess what: Will wasn't there". She said simply, while stretching her arms. Jay stared at his sister with sorrow.

-"Come on. I'll take you home, you need to rest properly". He stood up, but the girl didn't follow him. She just stared at the floor, immersed in her toughts.

-"Bec...".

-"Yeah, sure. I'm coming".

It was strange for Becca to see the building that empty. There was not a soul in the reception, except for Trudy, who was already leaving, and Hailey who was waiting for Jay to give her a ride.

-"Look at you, girl. Rocking the CPD sweater". Hailey said hugging her with one arm as they walked to the exit.

-"Can I keep it?"

-"Of course you can, sweetheart. It suits you well". Platt said with a smile.

-"I can't thank you enough for today, Trudy. Really, thanks for taking care of her".

-"Don't worry. It was my pleassure, Jay".

Jay was at the wheel driving unusually slow, Hailey was his co-pilot. Becca was in the back seat, her head agains the window. The road was dead silent. It could be because it was late and everyone was tired, but Jay knew her sister was holding something, that she wanted to say it but didn't know how to.

-"It was a day full of emotions, uh?" Hailey threw the question into the air. She was also feeling the tension between the siblings.

-"Yes it was". Becca answered with a dry tone.

Hailey turned to look at Jay, as he looked at his sister through the mirror.

-"Ok, Bec. Talk to me, what's on your mind?" He asked tenderly, not caring about his partener's presence.

-"He was there, Jay". Becca spit it out.

-"Who?" He was very intrigued.

-"Dad". She answered after a few seconds of silence.

-"Where?"

-"In the park. Dad was in the festival. He saw me dancing, Jay". Becca frowned. She had to wipe away a few tears before they rolled down her cheeks. She didn't want them to see her cry about it.

Without noticing, Jay started to drive even slower, his mind going in circles. Hailey passed her hand to the back part of the truck to touch Becca's knee in a reassuring gesture.

-"Here we are". Jay sighed as he parked the truck in the usual spot, away from the house. -"Hey, today's plans were ruined, but we can have luch tomorrow". He turned to his sister. -"You choose what you want. We can also have a movie day if you wan to".

-"I like that". She smiled. -"Can I stay with you tomorrow?".

-"Sure. Just make sure you grab your uniform. For now, let's go, you shouldn't be out of bed. I'll walk you to the porch". When he got out of the car, he turned to the co-pilot seat: "Sorry for the waiting. It won't take long, Hails".

They were in the middle of the street when the door of the house suddenly opened. Both of the siblings freezed, their dad was there, standing in the door frame. Jay felt a heat inside of him that didn't let him move, he only reacted when Becca touched his hand.

-"It's ok. I can carry my bags". She said as she took them carefully from her brother. -"You don't have to say or explain anything. I know".

Becca hugged her brother goodbye: "See you tomorrow. Don't forget!". And she walked to the entrance, nervously.

Unwittingly, Jay was giving small steps back, until he made sure that the little girl crossed the fence and he turned back straight to the truck. Hailey saw everything, and even when she was not so sure of what was going on, she felt sympathy with his partner.

The two detectives stared to the front, watching how Becca was received by her dad. She stopped in front of him, they were having a small conversation. Jay was in a defensive position, ready to act if he needed to. Unexpectedly, they witnessed how Mr. Halstead hugged his daughter for a fragment of sencond. From the distance, Jay could tell Becca was crying. He was also submerged in a sea of ​​feelings.

-"A day full of emotions indeed, wasn't it?" Hailey broke the silence when the door of the house closed. She had a very strong impulse of hugging him, as if she knew he needed that kind of containment.

-"Yes is was". Jay answered swallowing his tears.

-"Want a beer and talk/not talk about it?" She offered.

-"Yeah. That would be helpful".

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share 😌♡

[melsie-sims]

Yes, I'm bringing back the Build-A-City Challenge!! Are you excited?? I'm so excited!!

This is an important announcement regarding some of my current save files. I'm not just screaming incoherently about my upcoming BACC, I swear.

But first... BACC! I hope everyone's as excited as I am about my upcoming save and that you don't think I'm starting something new again that I'll probably abandon (that's kind of been my M.O. lately and I hate it! I'm so sorry!). I've been considering bringing back the challenge for MONTHS though... it's probably been the most consistent Sims-related thing on my mind.

2 years ago, BACC was the challenge that really kick started my whole Simblr, and quite frankly it's the only challenge that's kept my attention for longer than 2 months (I played it for well over a YEAR!). The only reason I even stopped was because the game was so freaking glitched, to the point where my save was unplayable. But so much has changed since then, lots of those bugs have been taken care of... and I feel ready to bring on a whole new batch of founders. I hope I love them as much as I loved Jericho, Andy, Rusty, Hailey, Nineka... and yes, to some extent, even William.

With that said, I wanted to make this official. I'm going to be cancelling the Deadly Apocalypse Challenge. It was a cool concept and I had fun setting up the save... but I did not feel it.

I'm also very, very hesitantly considering cancelling Kingdom of Melwyn. I know you guys really like that one (and I do too!) but the save is already so slow and glitchy it's almost unplayable... I use a lot of the same mods as my Ultimate Decades and that runs fine, so I'm not sure what's going on there. I'm going to say it's on an indefinite hiatus for the time being. I might bring it back if it runs better down the road, or I might not.

My Ultimate Decades challenge will be back VERY soon (likely in the next week or two if I'm lucky). I still have a day's worth of Decades posts queued but I accidentally updated my game the other day (don't click 'play' without reading, there might be a sneaky patch you didn't know about) so I'll have to check through my many, many historical mods before I go into that save again.

I hope everyone's having a fantastic weekend! Happy spooky season eve and happy simming! 🧡🖤🎃

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Arachnoid (part 3)

Series masterlist

“Nuh-uh. Come inside. Come. We need to have a talk, little spider.”

“Yes ma’am,” Rory deflates.

Rory is extremely uncomfortable inside the apartment. Both women appear friendly but guarded, and Rory feels like she’s in trouble with her mom.

“Why are you following Natasha and lurking outside my apartment? That is very creepy, little spider.”

“Oh, I’m not—I’m not a perv or anything, I just—well, I was just making sure I was safe. After the Black Widow showed up at my workplace and everything, I just—I’m sorry ma’am. I really mean no harm.”

“First of all, stop calling me ma’am. Second of all, Почему ты пошел к ней на работу?” She turns to Natasha. (Why did you go to her work?)

“Мне было любопытно. Фьюри заставляет меня расследовать ее.” (I was curious. Fury has me investigating her.)

Rory watches with wide eyes as the two women speak rapidly in Russian.

“Она опасна?” (Is she dangerous?)

“Не для нас.” (Not to us.)

Yelena finally turns to Rory with a sigh. She almost laughs at Rory’s terrified expression. “Stop following us. You will find yourself in a pepper.”

“A pepper? What? You mean in a pickle?”

“Yes, whatever. It means the same thing. Get out of my apartment. And I expect a new plant.”

“Yes ma’am—Yelena—is it okay if I call you Yelena? I’m gonna leave. Just one last thing. What does SHIELD want with me?”

Natasha studies Rory for a moment. “You’re a mystery to us, Rory. You could potentially be a threat. Or a very useful ally. It’s my job to find out which.”

“And if I don’t want that?” Rory asks defensively.

“I don’t recall giving you a choice. Do not get in the way of my investigation.”

Rory looks pissed, Yelena notices.

“I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Pick me up tomorrow at 10 and bring me someone secure. And then stay the hell out of my life.” She pauses. “It’s for your own good.”

With that, Rory exits the apartment and dives off the balcony, swinging further into the night.

Natasha’s eyebrows are furrowed, wondering what set the woman off.

“What the hell was that about?” Yelena asks.

“I don’t know yet. But it appears there’s more to your little spider than we thought.”

At exactly 10:00 the next morning, there is a knock at Rory’s apartment door. Rory stands from the couch and walks to the entrance, opening it for the redhead on the other side.

“Ready to go?” Natasha asks. Rory only nods.

They make their way silently to the car. Natasha is conflicted by the tenseness of Rory’s presence.

“You aren’t wearing your suit.”

“It’s better to be seen with Rory than to be seen with Arachnoid.”

“Why is that?”

Rory doesn’t reply. Natasha is pretty sure she already knows the answer.

At SHIELD headquarters, Natasha leads them to a small conference room.

“This is as secure as it gets. No cameras. Soundproof walls. Transmission-blocking technology.”

Rory nods. “I’m gonna tell you what you need to know. You can assess if I’m a threat and report back to your boss. The details stay here.” Rory isn’t confident that Natasha will keep her secrets, but she hopes.

“Deal,” the redhead agrees.

“I was born normal. I had a happy childhood. Really happy, actually. My parents loved each other and provided everything I needed. I had a little sister named Hailey. The year between high school and college, I interned at Oscorp. When working in a lab, I was bitten by a radioactive spider. Those same spiders later gave Spiderman his powers. It took me a while to figure it out, but eventually I became Arachnoid. My girlfriend, Abby Smith, was killed by a man I was fighting named the Green Goblin. I couldn’t save her. Two months later, I was badly injured in an ambush. My parents and sister were killed in a car accident on the way to the hospital. The cops said there was no foul play, but I’ve never believed that. I finished college with my head down. I kept up being Arachnoid whenever I could. Flash forward and here we are. You know where I live and work. You know my routine. You know everything there is to know. Will you leave me alone now?”

Natasha is silent, a sorrowful wrinkle between her brows. A one-eyed man enters the room with a wide smile, clearing having heard everything said before.

“See now that wasn’t so hard. We thank you for your cooperation. As director of this organization, I am offering you an official position as an agent of SHIELD, Rory. What do you say?”

Rory looks to Natasha with betrayal. “You lied to me. I knew you probably would but I wanted to give you a chance.” She then looks to Director Fury. “I will never work for someone like you. This place has no honor. I held up my end of the deal, so stay out of my life.”

Rory leaves without waiting for a reply, making her way home on her own. When she gets there, there’s a blonde woman sitting on her couch, sipping on a beer.

“What are you doing here, Yelena?” Rory asks with a sigh.

“Wow, not even a ‘hi, how are you?’ So rude. Let me guess, they tried to recruit you?” Rory nods. “You said no?” Another nod. Rory grabs a beer and sits on the opposite end of the couch. “I knew you would. I even told Natasha you’d say no. They try to wrangle me in all the time.”

“But you say no? Even though Natasha works for them?”

“It is not my thing. I’ve been ordered around for too long. My sister trusts Nick Fury. I do not.”

“You don’t trust him?”

“Yes. Keep up, little spider. Anyway, for what it’s worth, I think you made the decision.”

“Thank you, Yelena.” There’s a pause in the conversation. “She betrayed my trust. Natasha, I mean.”

Yelena almost pouts at this revelation. “I would not do that to you.”

Rory clinks her bottle to Yelena’s and puts on a trashy TV show, trying not to let the past few days overwhelm her.

“She seems to think that you like me,” Yelena adds after a few minutes of silence.

Rory looks at her, almost studying the small assassin. “I do.”

“Hm. I think I like you too, little spider.”

They both turn back to the TV.

[negative-speedforce]

Your OCs are walking down the street when they find Jasper in an alleyway. They're clearly trying to hold themself together, but they're crying so hard they can barely speak. There's a funeral inside the building behind them, and they got overwhelmed by the grief and sadness they sensed from inside.

What do your OCs do?

Siv: Keeps walking. They feel sorry for this random stranger, but she doesn't know if it's a trap and can't afford to find out. They've been betrayed too many times for that.

Jay: Goes over to Jasper and tries to empathize, talking about how "grief is really hard, isn't it?" about how he lost Gina and the use of his legs all within two years. He ends up taking Jasper out to coffee.

Hailey: Doesn't have a lot of time to stop and help, but walks up to Jasper to ask if they're okay.

Cassandra: She has places to be. A crying stranger is the least of her concerns. Someone else can take care of that.

Esme: Goes up to Jasper to check on them, just to see how they're doing. She probably ends up barfing behind the alley dumpster because she's wasted af but she's trying, okay?

Gina: Is in a hurry on her way to work, but she stops for a brief moment to make sure Jasper is okay.

Ember: Leans down next to Jasper and wraps his gigantic pink furry coat around their shoulders and goes into full auntie mode, like "Hey, what's wrong baby?"

Arya: Shapeshifts into a kitten and starts meowing and rubbing against Jasper's legs to cheer them up (and then shapeshifts back into their normal form to scare Jasper shitless because they're a little bastard)

Cat: Keeps walking. She doesn't know Jasper, it's not her problem.

Kyle: Sits with Jasper in silence because he's not great with emotions, then once they're done crying, offers to walk them home.

Max: Probably doesn't even notice Jasper because he's like 30 feet off the ground in one of his mech suits.

Eric: Jasper kinda reminds him of one of his kids, so he stops to make sure that Jasper is okay.

Jacob: Uses his magic to temporarily block out the emotional input from the funeral, then walks Jasper home.

Khalil: Asks Jasper if they're okay, but keeps walking after that because he low-key hates being late to places.

Antonio: Uses his psychic abilities to overwhelm Jasper's empath abilities, so they can only sense Antonio's mood, so that Jasper can calm down enough to go on with their day.

Reggie: Tries to cheer Jasper up by showing them xer cool skateboard tricks.

Ameerah: Immediately confronts Jasper because she can tell they're an empath and she wants to be the only empath in town. Hopefully, a pissy empath looking for a fight might distract them from the grief.

Rania: Isn't great with emotions, so she just smiles at Jasper but keeps walking.

Cory: Sits down next to Jasper, and tries to distract them by showing them funny videos.

Meredith: Doesn't know if she can help or not because most people aren't fluent in sign language, so it just shoots Jasper a sympathetic smile and maybe squeezes their shoulder, but keeps walking.

Kelsie: Immediately goes into Therapist Mode and starts helping to deescalate Jasper's emotions, helping them to calm down. Kelsie's calm, composed aura probably helps Jasper calm down as well.

Director Hawke: Realizes Jasper has powers and isn't specifically a witch, so she tries to kill them, regardless of their emotional state.

Torryn: Uses his magic to temporarily relieve Jasper of their empath powers, at least until they calm down.

Onnie: Glares at Jasper and threatens to kill them if they don't shut up with that blubbering nonsense.

Pippa: Asks if she can give Jasper a hug, once she finds out what's going on she offers Jasper her headphones and to walk them home.

Jessi: Gives Jasper an autograph because that's why they were crying, right? Because she's so famous and hot and they aren't?

Hyun-Ki: Hesitates at first because he still struggles with English sometimes, but sits down next to Jasper and starts telling them funny tour stories (mostly stuff about Kwang messing around and reaping the consequences) to distract them.

Marie: Tries to help, but probably ends up overwhelming Jasper because their empath powers get completely overloaded by the hive mind

Liah: Ends up almost crushing Jasper because she tries to give them a bear hug, but she often forgets her own strength.

Qiara: Uses her powers to temporarily block out any emotional input to Jasper so they can calm down.

Soraya: Beams them up onto her ship and allows them to sit in her ready room for a few minutes in order to calm down, then beams them back without ever speaking a word to them.

Thalia: Has been backstabbed by an Inquisitor pretending to be a person in need, so she keeps walking, no matter how hard it is for her, since there are people who need her.

Reyna: Jasper's crying is really overstimulating for her, but she knows how hard grief is, so she tries to comfort them even though she's in the middle of a speech loss episode.

Athena: Keeps walking. She doesn't have time for a random stranger, anyway. She has money to make, people to embezzle, and unwilling sentients to experiment on.

Laila: Attempts to stab Jasper because their crying is annoying her girlfriend.

Samira: Stops to ask Jasper if they're okay, then once they're calm enough to move, she would walk them home.

Aldrich: Would try to stop and help during his life, but as a vampire, he can't risk being in close contact with mortals for extended periods of time.

Sohelia: Keeps walking. She doesn't know Jasper, and she doesn't trust them, either.

Matt: Uses his knowledge as a field medic to help Jasper calm down enough to get them out of range of the funeral, then walks them home.

Vanessa: Lets Jasper hold her pet gecko, Stevie, until they calm down, because Stevie can put anyone in a good mood.

Dolores: Helps Jasper to calm down by singing a song that her now long-dead parents used to sing to her for them.

Victorie: Calls Vanessa over because while she doesn't trust herself with mortals, she knows her girlfriend can cheer anyone up.

Kayla: Keeps walking. She doesn't know Jasper, and she doesn't know if it's a trap or not.

Dori: Wants to help, but they're so used to having HYDRA people follow them home that they assume that Jasper's an operative in disguise, trying to find out where they live.

Ellis: Uses their angelic powers to comfort Jasper, even if they don't necessarily fully understand the human concept of grief and death.

[jayhalsteadsimp2019]

Dude, There’s A Cop

Summary: Lyla pulls Elleigh away from doing something stupid.  Little did they know, a police officer was watching the whole time.

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Slight Language Warning

Word Count: Around 596

Note:  Hi!  This one was inspired by something that happened to my friend and I yesterday and she wanted me to turn it into a fanfiction.

FYI:  Lyla is Jay and Hailey’s daughter (when I originally thought of Lyla she was supposed to be Jay and Hailey’s adoptive daughter.  It went from that to biological daughter to Halstead!Sister, which you can see based on the other imagines I’ve posted.)

Also, Elleigh is pronounced Ellie, Elleighana is pronounced Ellie-Anna (If you couldn’t tell I love unique names/unique spelling.)

Should I write more daughter fics?  Also I do take requests, it just may take a while depending on how I feel writing it/if I feel like writing it.

I also may not write a request at all if I feel like I don’t have enough creativity or freedom if that makes sense.

Enough from me, I hope you enjoy!! (:

     “Come on, Elleigh, get out of the road!”  Lyla complained as she dragged Elleigh along, stopping her from standing in the middle of the road.  The car passed them, the driver looking at them like they were stupid.

     “They’re looking at us like we’re stupid.”  Lyla complained as the two of them walked along, Elleigh just laughing slightly and putting a different song on.

     They took a right and kept walking, eventually moving to the left to get onto another road by the bike trail.

     “Ooh, a car!”  Elleigh exclaimed kind of childishly, standing in the middle of the road and putting her arms out as if she wanted the car to hit her (hint, she did).   

     “Here we go again.”  Lyla thought to herself, grabbing Elleigh’s arm, practically dragging her away from the road, “Come on, Elleigh!  Stop standing in the middle of the road!”

     “Aww.”  Elleigh complained as the car passed them, Lyla rolling her eyes, clearly annoyed.  Elleigh would do this every time they went somewhere, and it honestly kind of got on Lyla’s nerves, because Elleigh wasn’t about to throw herself in front of a car on Lyla’s watch.

     The two walked up the hill, walking over the bike trail and back down the hill onto another road, jumping over a puddle as they did so.  They walked down a small street, standing in front of the highway at the end of it.

     “Wait.”  Lyla instructed, putting her arm out to stop Elleigh from throwing herself in front of the car.  After a moment, it was safe enough to cross.

     “Okay, now we can go.”  Lyla grabbed Elleigh’s arm, pulling her across the street, Elleigh struggling playfully against her.  They made it to the sidewalk, Elleigh trying to step into the road as more cars drove past.

     “Elleigh, stop.”  Lyla demanded, grabbing Elleigh’s arm as Elleigh stumbled to the side and almost fell, being the clumsy person she is.  Lyla shook her head, “People are gonna think you’re drunk!”

     “But I am.”  Elleigh replied playfully, Lyla just laughing at the comment.

     “Dude, there’s a cop right there.”  Lyla stated, seeing the truck parked across the street.  She looked at it as the driver stepped out, walking across the vacant parking lot and stopping at the end of it.  He looked both ways as if he was about to cross.

     “He’s coming!”  Lyla exclaimed, laughing slightly.

     Elleigh and Lyla watched as the officer crossed the street, and it was that moment Lyla realized who it was.

     Lyla burst out laughing, and it was when Lyla did so that Elleigh too realized who it was.

     “Oh my God.”  Elleigh muttered, “He’s gonna tell my dad!”

     “Hi Dad.”  Lyla greeted, Elleigh sending her a death glare.

     “Elleigh, what are you doing?”  Jay questioned, ignoring Lyla as he crossed his arms and stood in front of the two of them.

     “I, uh-”  Elleigh trailed off, not knowing what to say.

    Jay sighed, “Alright.  Just, stop doing that, okay?  Cars keep trying to brake because they don’t want to hit you.”

     “His breath stank.”  Lyla whispered, Elleigh sending her a death glare.

     She turned her attention back to Jay, “I’m sorry.  It won’t happen again.”

     “It’s okay.  I trust you.”

     “Good.  Just, please don’t tell my dad.”

     Jay chuckled, looking behind him, “I won’t have to.”

     “Elleighana Lin Voight, what in the world are you doing?”  Hank questioned as he crossed the street, an angry look on his face.

      Lyla snickered as Elleigh groaned in annoyance.  There was no way in hell she’d be doing that again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Finish*

I hope you enjoy!  If you have a request feel free to send it!  (I am working on a request and I’m actually pretty happy about it.)

[empatheticagent]

Ray stepped back, watching the others train. With Marco’s guidance the group really was thriving. 

There was Ray himself, his control and range of powers much improved since his time under Bancroft's influence. 

Marco, the department head, had opened up more over time himself. The umbrakinetic had relaxed more and learned to actually enjoy things more instead of only viewing everything he could do as a tool for work.

Shigeru Ueda dropped in regularly from L.E.N.S, both to help train Hailey officially now she was a teenager and to check in on his priest friend who joined in from time to time. 

Nic Martin was the odd one out, as the only regular member of the group who did not have any sort of powers. But he was great at drawing out potential with his pep talks and careful studying to see where strengths were. 

Ray’s cousin Cassie was there occasionally both to help keep an eye on Hailey and because as well as being a SHIELD linguist, she was officially training with the medical department as a nurse too. 

There were also two new recruits, both new to SHIELD. 

One, Ray had stepped in as the primary trainer for. Although classed as ‘mutant’ instead of ‘Inhuman’, Ray had volunteered both because he and Hailey had rescued him from hostile civilians and because the young man’s abilities needed special care. Dylan had demonstrated his ability to both absorb and discharge energy, which he did not have full control over yet. While he wasn't as afraid as Ray had once been about physical contact, the empath wanted to make sure he didn't head down that path.

The other new member was a little older. He was a tall, muscled Hawaiian who had an interesting ability to create different effects from drawings and symbols. Iokua had explained it didn't work with living things -he could not bring drawings of creatures or people to life- but he could create things like wind from a rune symbol or quick drawing of a wind shape. He had even already tattooed his most used symbols on his arms and hand before SHIELD had picked him up. He already had some martial arts training and could fight fairly well with a wooden staff; apparently he had spent years LARPing and developed the skills for fun. 

He and Marco didn't seem to get along that great. It was actually Nic who connected with Iokua, who apparently actually enjoyed the agent's sense of humour.

Owen wasn't feeling great that morning, so he was sitting aside and watching, occasionally creating a barrier between two people when a power seemed to go the wrong way or was bigger than intended to protect everyone. That in itself had helped the priest strengthen the barriers and learn to form them faster. 

During their current session, there was a point where Shigeru was working with Hailey and suddenly dropped to his knees, coughing and gasping for air. Very quickly, Owen got to his feet, a protective bubble surrounding Shigeru. The priest hurried over, a pained expression as he crouched beside the tech expert the only sign of his own issues as he went to check on his friend.

“I'm sorry!” Hailey said. “I'm not sure what I did, I just-” 

Everyone else had stopped their training, Ray and Marco quickly joining them, though they found themselves unable to enter the barrier. Ray stepped over to Hailey, gently projecting calm as he took Hailey’s hands. 

“It's alright, it was an accident,” he said softly. “Just relax and focus, we can fix it.”

Hailey nodded and closed her eyes, shoulders relaxing as her father's calm took effect. She focused, carefully studying the air around them as Shigeru had taught her. “I can't tell past the barrier-”

She looked over at Owen. “Father, please let the barrier go?”

The priest nodded and dissolved the bubble with a wave of a hand, anxiously watching Hailey to see if she could fix it.

It didn't take long before she gasped, putting her hands to her mouth. “Oops, I think I-” she shook her head, focusing on fixing the problem before wasting precious time explaining.

Shigeru seemed to relax after a moment, suddenly able to breathe clearly again. He shifted position to sit with his legs stretched out, slumping tiredly against Owen beside him as he caught his breath.

“Impressive little one,” he eventually said. “Removing the oxygen is not a trick I am able to do myself.” He could sense the change in the air however, even if he hadn't been able to fix it himself.

“I will be very interested to see how else we can use your skills,” Marco said to Hailey.

Ray nodded in agreement before quietly praising his daughter’s quick fix of her mistake. 

[cynicalone94]

Please Don't

Read on AO3 here.

Jay is at his desk, already hard at work on the case by the time the rest of the unit returns from the crime scene.

He clearly doesn’t want to talk about what had happened so they follow his lead, settling in to go over leads.

Jay’s already made up the first case board with history on their victim.

“I think I have an angle on this and I don’t like it.” he says, looking up at them.

“Let’s hear it.” Voight says.

“Our vic, Darren Redford, worked security at the water treatment plant.” Jay says. “Located on the shore of Lake Michigan, all running water that goes through Chicago is processed through the facility. The Middle East angle suggests a possible terror attack and this would be an ugly one.”

“If he works security, he might have been able to give them access to the plant.” Hailey comments.

“We need to find out if he did.” Voight says. “Maybe they had to give up and cut their losses.”

“Even if they did.” Jay says. “They’ll find a way into the plant or somewhere else they can cause a lot of damage.”

“We need to find them too.” Voight agrees. “We’ve got pods from the park where he was found and patrol is canvassing for victims. Was there a missing persons report?”

“No.” Jay says. “I do have a next of kin, a sister who lives in Englewood.”

“Take Hailey and make the notification.” Voight orders. “And then head out to the plant. We need to narrow down when he was kidnapped.”

He nods, reaching for his jacket and heading for the stairs with Hailey following.

“Sorry for ditching you earlier.” he says quietly.

“Don’t worry about it.” she tells him. “You okay?”

“It… uh… it threw me for a minute. But I’m good.” he tells her honestly. “I talked to Will.”

She nods, squeezing his arm as they split, going to opposite sides of the truck.

“We need to handle this.” he says as he starts the engine. “But maybe when it’s over we can do our thing?”

“Of course.” she tells him quickly.

He offers her a smile and she feels her stomach flip. As if she would ever deny him their thing.

The sister is shattered by the news but can’t tell them anything. She and Darren don’t see each other often and haven’t spoken even by phone for almost two weeks.

After making sure a neighbor is able to sit with her, Jay and Hailey head to the plant.

It isn’t much more productive.

Darren had taken an unexpected vacation a little over a week ago and nobody has heard from him since.

They are able to ascertain that his credentials haven’t been used to access the plant since then. Jay encourages the management to increase security until they can find the killers and to ensure that his access his terminated immediately.

After getting information on any threats that have been made they reluctantly leave, calling Voight with an update as soon as they get outside.

They get their first big break in the case just as they pull out of the plant.

And it isn’t a good one.

A large truck comes out of nowhere to ram into the passenger side of the truck as Jay pulls onto the road, sending the truck careening off the road to impact the security fence.

Jay is tossed around roughly by the impact, head bouncing off the door several times before the truck comes to a stop.

He looks over, blinking to clear his vision to see Hailey slumped against the console, the door of the truck brutally indented and blood running down the right side of her face.

“Hailey!” he shouts, reaching over to place his fingers against the side of her neck while he reaches for the radio with his other hand. “5021 George. Need an ambulance and CFD to the Water Treatment Plant, Officer injured. Suspect vehicle rammed us off the road.”

His door is pulled open and he glances back to see two individuals in dark clothes and ski masks standing behind him.

“Who the hell are you?” he snarls.

It’s a dumb question. It’s whoever had murdered Darren Redford. But why come after them? This doesn’t move whatever plan Darren had spoiled by refusing to talk forward.

“You’re coming with us.” the man says, pointing a rifle at him.

So they can torture him like they’d tortured Darren his mind is quick to supply but he shoves the panic down. This isn’t the time.

“You leave her alone.” he says.

Hailey’s hurt but she’s breathing and her heart is beating. Paramedics are on the way and they’ll take care of her.

“Get out of the truck.” the man snaps back and Jay unbuckles his seat belt, sliding down with his hands up.

His gun is pulled from his holster and thrown carelessly onto the seat. It’s followed by his phone and then he’s being shoved away from the truck and toward a dark SUV.

He ends up in the backseat, sandwiched between two men with guns as the doors slam closed.

He hasn’t been restrained but that doesn’t make him feel any better about the whole situation.

He tries telling himself that he doesn’t care what they do to him as long as Hailey is okay but the truth is that he does care.

He cares a lot.

They can beat him, shock him, burn him and he really won’t care that much. He can take a beating and keep on kicking. He always could, even in elementary school when his worst enemies were bullies on the playground.

But if they fuck around with needles there’s a good chance he’ll lose his shit.

And Will is definitely going to have to come to his apartment with his flu shot next year.

“So what’s the plan then?” he says darkly. “Cause things didn’t work out so well with your friend, Redford, did they?”

“Should be more worried about yourself than our plans.” the man in the front seat says, turning to look at him. “You’ve seen what we do to the people that we need information from.”

“Yeah.” Jay scoffs. “And what exactly is that you want to know?”

“Nothing.” the man says. “But I saw you at the scene, saw you when your team found Redford’s body. Something that we did to him got to you. And I want to know what.”

Jay’s stomach flips but he forces his face to remain neutral.

“That’s a pretty dumb reason to kidnap a cop. Did you even think this through? My team is going to find you. And whatever plan you had goes out the window.”

“I don’t think so.” the man says. “But it doesn’t matter. I want to see you break.”

Jay returns the eager, overly exciting look with a glare and doesn’t say anything.

All too soon, they arrive at a warehouse in a dying industrial district. He’s pulled from the car and drug inside, strapped tightly to a chair in the middle of the open room.

His captors start small, attacking him with their feet and fists.

The blows are painful but nothing that he hasn’t endured before and they quickly abandon that method.

The man from the car is just standing there nearby, watching him and Jay can see him mentally checking something off his list.

He hands one of his men a knife and Jay just raises an eyebrow as it bites into his skin.

He chuckles, waving to them to keep cutting and Jay rolls his eyes, trying to force his tense muscles to relax.

When the man finally waves them off, he looks down to see the words ‘filthy pig’ carved into his chest.

They try electricity next and try as he might, he can’t hold back the screams that escape him with every press of the cattle prod against his vulnerable flesh.

But it doesn’t even come close to breaking him and the man quickly sees that, shaking his head after only five shocks and waving his men on to the next torment on his list.

Waterboarding is hell on earth and anyone who tells you otherwise has never experienced it or is lying to you.

He can’t help fighting back as he’s released from the chair and taken over to the slanted table.

It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s up next and while he can ultimately handle it, while it won’t be what the bastard is looking for, that doesn’t mean that he’s ready to let it happen.

A blow to the back of the head sends him tumbling to the ground and then they take hold of his arms and drag him over to the table.

He doesn’t get much chance to fight back, still disoriented from the hit, before he’s strapped down, wrists and ankles first and then additional straps ensuring that he can’t move even a little.

Soaked cloth is placed over his face and he quickly holds his breath.

He was trained for this. It doesn’t make it pleasant but it does mean that he knows everything the US Army has been able to learn over its extensive history about surviving being waterboarded.

Then water is pouring over his face and all he can do is struggle against the straps holding him down, struggle to get free, struggle to breathe.

The water stops and he coughs hard, choking and spluttering as he tries to clear his airway, tries to catch his breath.

The man is leaning over him, watching with a detached interest.

“Interesting.” he says finally. “That is when Redford started sobbing, begging us to stop. When he gave up the first code.”

Jay glares at him.

Someone grabs his hand and he screams as they jerk his index finger harshly to the side, snapping the delicate bones.

“That … shooting hand… fucker.” he chokes out and the man laughs.

“I’m so glad I’ve had the chance to play with you.” he says with a wide grin. “I’ve never had so much fun in my life.”

His hand closes around Jay’s throat and he tenses, hands pulling desperately against the straps binding them as it tightens and his air is cut off.

But their hold is unrelenting and as he thrashes about, dark spots begin to appear at the corners of his vision.

The man holds his grip until Jay starts to black out and then releases it.

“Maybe he needs longer.” one of the other men suggests.

“He reacted so severely to seeing signs that it had been done to someone else.” the man says, shaking his head. “It won’t take more than one time to get the reaction I’m looking for.”

He’s burned, first with a cigar and then with a hot poker, whipped, and sits for nearly an hour in the complete, deafened, darkness of sensory deprivation.

None of it is pleasant and a number of agonized screams are drawn from his throat. But never once does he lose control the way that the man wants so desperately to see.

Not until he’s strapped back to that damn table and the man wheels over a small tray with needles lined up on it.

His pulse immediately begins to race, eyes locked on the tray no matter how hard he tries to rip his gaze away.

No longer is he worried about Hailey, wondering how badly she was injured, if she’s awake and worrying about him yet.

All he can think about is those needles. About what the man is planning to do with them.

Pain spreads through his right shoulder, lancing down his entire arm and he lets out a choked whimper despite knowing that the man hasn’t done anything yet.

A damp, musty smell invades his senses and he writhes against the restraining straps.

“What. is the code?” a voice echoes in his ear and he turns his head.

He needs to calm down. He can’t lose control now, can’t let this bastard win.

Five things he can see.

Walls. Flick – Needles.

His breathing accelerates; short, gasping breaths that aren’t bringing in any air.

He can hear screams in the distance, the rustle of footsteps on uneven stone, and gunfire.

No.

He’s in Chicago.

He’s not there anymore. His team is coming for him. He just needs to stay strong.

Stay present.

“This is it, isn’t it?” a voice says next to him, the man unwittingly helping to ground him in the moment. “This is what shattered you yesterday morning. The needle marks on Redford’s body. You realized what had been done to him. Perhaps because you’ve experienced it.”

Jay is shaking, still breathing hard, but at least the flashbacks are held at bay for a moment.

The man picks up a needle from the tray and he winces, pulling away from him as much as he can as another whimper escapes his throat.

The man ghosts the needle across his bare flesh, raising a trail of goosebumps in it’s wake and Jay closes his eyes.

“Please don’t.” he whispers. “Please.”

The needle is lifted and moved to hover over his left hip.

Jay starts screaming, thrashing wildly against the restraints.

“Get that away from me you motherfucker.” he shouts before his words devolve into a stream of threats and insults and then further into incoherent pleas.

It doesn’t take long to get his first glimpse of Jay as the team storms across the warehouse floor, shouts of ‘police’, ‘don’t move’ and ‘get away from him’ flowing easily from their mouths.

It’s the only easy thing about the situation because it’s also not long before he realizes that Jay is completely panicking.

“Drop the needle now!” he booms as he sees the object in the man’s hand, sees it’s identical twin buried deep in Jay’s hip.

The man’s face twists in a disgusting fury but he does as ordered.

The other men are equally quick to give up, raising their hands and stepping away from Jay.

As soon as hands are on them, beginning the process of cuffing them and searching for weapons, Kevin holsters his weapon and presses close to Jay’s side.

“No please.” Jay is still begging, sobbing as he fights against the restraints. “Please don’t. Please no. Please.”

Kevin ignores the litany of desperate pleas, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Easy Jay.” he says. “It’s over. You’re safe now. We’ve got you and we won’t let them hurt you anymore.”

Jay doesn’t respond but the pace of his pleas slows slightly, a slight twist of confusion settling on his face and Kevin keeps talking, falling into a steady cycle of reassurances.

Silence falls around them, Voight pulling back the team to give them space as Kevin fights to bring Jay back to the present.

After what seems like forever, Jay’s struggles finally fall still and he’s blinking up at Kevin with something approximating clarity in his eyes.

“Hey.” he says, forcing a smile onto his face as he starts to unfasten the straps holding his friend down. “There you are are.”

“Kev?” Jay gasps.

“I’m here.” he says. “Whole team is here and those bastards are getting locked away forever. Got an ambulance and paramedics waiting to look you over.”

“‘m fine.” Jay says and the smile on Kevin’s face becomes more real.

“Sure you are.” he agrees. “But you know how EMTs are. Get real worried about things like burns and lacerations.”

Jay doesn’t respond to the joke and he sighs.

“You’re beat to hell man. Gotta let them do their job.”

“Hailey okay?”

“Couple fractured ribs, broken arm and a concussion.” Kevin fills him in. “But she’s awake and spitting mad that we wouldn’t let her come on the raid.”

Jay nods and Kev turns away to signal to Voight that they’re ready for the bus.

Jay grabs his arm and he looks back.

“No needles.” Jay whispers. “Please.”

He frowns.

An IV is a given with Jay’s condition. He doesn’t want to make a promise that he can’t keep but he also doesn’t want to refuse his friend this one request.

A very justified request under the circumstances.

“Can’t give you pain meds without an IV.” he says slowly.

“Don’t want them.” Jay says, shaking his head.

“Jay.” he says, biting his lip. “I wish I could give this to you, man, really I do but the IV is not negotiable. What can I do to make it easier for you?”

Jay stares back at him, eyes watering.

“Stay?” he finally whispers and Kevin puts his hand over the one still resting on his arm.

“Done.” he promises. “Not going anywhere, bro.”