#stop justifying it by saying his team is doing something

[would-you-punt-them]

I just want to tell you this:

Thank You So, SO Much for informing people about the horrid Mr. Beast situation occurring within his Squid Game Beast Games.

I don’t think would’ve known about this awful and disgusting event occurring as much as I do now if you didn’t post about it on this blog.

Thank you.

I do think it isn't something that should be brushed under the rug, and I also feel that the more people know about it, the worse it becomes for Jimmy when the Beast Games show actually comes out.

One thing I forgot to include in the post is that the Las Vegas shoot is going to be uploaded on YouTube as an extended qualifier to the actual show on Amazon Prime.

It's worth noting that the contestants didn't know that until they arrived at the stadium. They'd been told that the Las Vegas shoot was the Amazon show, and there would only be 1,000 competitors (which is how it is marketed by Amazon). They only learned that the player-count had doubled and this wasn't going to be on Prime once they were on set, and were shown a video message from Jimmy saying he forgot to mention that actually there were 2,000 people and this wasn't the Amazon show (though MrBeast later claimed that this was always the intent).

I don't know when the video(s) will be uploaded, but I honestly can't wait because I'm dying to know how they're planning on editing the footage to cut out the horrors that took place during the challenges.

Like, how are they going to show the Red team losing the first challenge with the rope and pulley? On the one hand, surely they've got to show the 400 people who were eliminated in that challenge. But on the other hand... what exactly do they have to work with?

The production team refused the Red team's pleas to stop the challenge and demanded they keep going to the end, presumably because they needed them to do it for the sake of the video. Instead, anti-capitalist icons that they are, the entire team abandoned the challenge mid-way anyway so they could go help their teammates who were literally being strangled, throwing the game. And once they'd abandoned the rope, they never picked it up again.

Obviously, the producers can't show competitors being throttled. But that means that they also can't explain why the Reds lost the challenge. If the throttling happened toward the end, maybe they'll be fine, but if it happened closer to the middle, there's no way for them to explain why those 400 people just gave up so early.

It also presumably means any overhead shots of all the teams are ruined, because that would require them to explain why the Reds just aren't participating.

Maybe they could show the Reds giving up, but give a different reason. But no reason I can think of works. If they say they "tried their best but knew they couldn't win", they would then also have to answer the question of why the challenge was impossible for them - the reason being that their team of 400 consisted of about 380 women, while their opposing teams consisted almost entirely of the youngest and strongest male competitors.

And I'm not sure how they're going to explain that, because if they show the challenge of everyone going for coloured jerseys, they can't reveal why the teams ended up so unbalanced, as the actual reason is that the male contestants were hoarding jerseys and were physically violent against the female and elderly contestants, and organised themselves to guarantee they were all on the same team, resulting in a gender split.

I'm also not sure how they plan to edit around challenges like the briefcase game, where in the middle of the cramped field the male contestants were attacking and trampling the women. It's going to take a lot of editing to cut around that. And while they can edit out the injuries occurring they can't edit out the fact that by the end of the challenge there are suspiciously fewer female contestants remaining than there were to begin with.

Additionally, they're going to have to justify why the contestants started off so diverse in gender and age, only for the 1,000 who made it to the actual Amazon show predominantly being young and male, without it becoming clear that no one else had any chance. They can't introduce new contestants to re-diversify the cast, because 1,000 were promised by Amazon, 1,000 qualified, and people will complain if they try to fudge the numbers or cheat by introducing last-minute entries, which is especially bad now that he's currently under fire for allegedly faking and rigging competitions.

Jimmy also can't just not upload it at all, because then he'd have to explain that as well, and this is such a massive event people, both fans and detractors, are going to notice.

The more people know about it, the worse his situation becomes, because there's just no way out of it without inviting questions he doesn't want people to know the answers to.

While this is obviously too much to hope for in this timeline, in an ideal world enough people start talking about this that Amazon cancels his show due to the controversy - Jimmy has said Beast Games is intended to be his break into more traditional media, and I think it would be nice to shut that down.

[rileyslibrary]

Feeling frustrated and in desperate need of support, you run to Ghost to let it all out.

A/N: Platonic fluff & the usual banter.

———————————————————————

“And then guess what he said to me!” you shout, turning to look at Ghost. You’d expect him to sit at the edge of his seat, ready to storm out and confront that jerk. But no. Instead, he is reclining in his office chair, swivelling left and right. He has dismantled a stapler during your rant and laid out each piece on the table, apart from the spring, which he twirls between his fingers.

“Are you even paying attention?” You ask, placing your hands on your hips.

“Sure,” he murmurs, even though his posture says otherwise. He closes one eye and peers through the spring with the other.

“Oh yeah?” You tilt your head. “What was I saying then?”

Ghost rolls his eyes, throws his head back, and sets the spring down among the other parts. He pulls his mask down, then adjusts it on his nose.

“On the day of the tactical training—which, according to you, shouldn’t be so close to the physical training because it makes your back hurt, and you don’t shut up about it—you were teamed up with Sergeant Dickinson,” he says with furrowed brows, “whom you refuse to address by his rank and call him what instead?”

“Shart-geant,” you reply, waving your hand. “But that’s irrelevant.”

“I disagree,” he says. “Wasn’t the surname ‘Dickinson’ enough to mess around with?”

“Nah,” you scoff, flicking your wrist. “Too easy.”

“Fair enough,” he nods and continues. “So, apparently, Sergeant Dickinson was a real asshole towards you, bossing you around and whatnot. At the end of your training, he supposedly said something that justifies you SWATing my office and disturbing my peace.”

He finishes his summary, leaving you staring at him with your hands still on your hips. “That’s correct,” you finally confirm.

He looks proud, almost too smug at your agreement. He picks up the spring again and continues playing with it. “Well, don’t leave me hanging,” he prompts, motioning for you to continue, “what did he say that was so terrible?”

“No!” You protest, pointing a finger at him. “No, you guess what that fucker told me.”

“Are we seriously doing this now?” He asks, amused.

“Yes,” you assert, nodding. “Yes, because, chances are, you won’t believe what he said.”

“Fair enough,” Ghost sighs, fully turning his attention to you. “Did he tell you to eat shit?”

“What?!” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “No!”

“How about calling you a horrible, uncooperative, egotistical teammate?”

“No, Ghost,” you shake your head. “As a matter of fact, I was the perfect teammate.”

“Oh, I know,” he says, pointing a finger. “How about—”

“Never mind,” you cut in, frustrated. “I’ll tell you what he said.”

“You sure?” He asks, his smugness returning. “Because I could keep guessing.”

“No, no, that’s enough.” You reply. “He told me to go fetch him the car.”

“Oh, wow,” he murmurs, leaning back on the chair. “Un-be-fucking-lievable.”

“Well, it’s not as dramatic as your guesses!” You exclaim, throwing your hands in the air. “Eat shit? Horrible teammate? Who says that?”

“Well, clearly not Dickinson,” he mutters.

You shoot him a side-eye, to which he responds by concealing the spring in the palm of his hand. There’s a hint of a smirk behind his balaclava.

“So you were bothered because you were asked to get the car.” He states.

“Fetch the car!” You shout, throwing your hands in the air. “Fetch! Like I’m some dog!”

“Are you a dog?” He asks deadpan.

“What a stupid question!” You shout again. “Of course I’m not!”

“Then why does it bother you that much?”

“Because it’s demeaning, Ghost!” you declare, pacing back and forth in front of his desk. “After everything in that training, all the crap he put me through, that’s how he dismisses me? Like I’m not worth his time?”

Ghost tilts his head, his eyes narrowing. The spring is now forgotten in his hand. “Is that how you feel when I shout at you to ‘shut the fuck up, stop acting like a baby, and bear the pain’ during physical training?”

You stop pacing and meet his gaze. “No,” you admit, shaking your head. “No, that’s differ—.”

“How?” Ghost interrupts sharply. “How is it different?”

“You outrank me,” you whisper, dropping your gaze.

“Dickinson outranks you too.” he points out.

“And he shouldn’t!” you shout, stepping forward and slamming your hands on Ghost’s desk. “I should’ve gotten that promotion! I was the one who deserved it, and you know it!”

“So it’s not about fetching cars,” Ghost says calmly. “It’s an ego thing.”

Your eyes widen. Your mouth opens slightly as you lean on the desk, towering over him. Ghost, on the other hand, remains unbothered.

“Are you gaslighting me, Lt.?” You whisper. “Someone treats me like a dog, then it’s suddenly my fault?”

Ghost avoids your question. He instead turns to look at you with eyes full of empathy. The first time in so long.

“We often ridicule what we secretly desire,” he says. “That’s why you mock his rank and not his name. It’s not Dickinson you have an issue with; it’s the fact that he has become a Sergeant instead of you. That’s what bothers you.”

“Th-that’s not true,” you whisper, turning away to hide your blush. “It’s about respect. About being treated like I matter. I don’t envy Dickinson or his stupid rank.”

There’s a soft chuckle behind you, and you turn to look at him. Ghost is shaking his head, his shoulders moving slightly up and down. He reaches into a drawer of his desk and retrieves an envelope.

“Why the laugh?” You ask, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“You’re not envious, that I agree,” he says, pulling out a letter and pushing it towards you. “You are jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!” You exclaim, eyeing the piece of paper. “What’s this?”

“It’s a letter from your bestie,” Ghost replies, leaning back in his chair. “Just read it.”

You pick up the letter and unfold it. It’s from Dickinson, addressing Ghost. It reads:

Lieutenant Ghost,

I wanted to take a moment to commend Corporal Y/N for her outstanding performance during our recent tactical training exercises. She consistently demonstrated exemplary teamwork skills and a commitment to the success of our missions. Despite our challenges, Corporal Y/N remained composed under pressure and willing to assist her teammates in any way possible.

Her dedication to her duties and her team is commendable, and I believe she has the potential for leadership roles in the future. I have no doubt that she will continue to excel in her career.

Sincerely,

Sergeant Dickinson

You fold the letter back and place it on the desk, still looking at it. You scratch your cheek and run a hand through your hair.

“I received it on the day of the training. Dickinson wanted to ensure it found its way to your file.” Ghost says, his eyebrows shooting up. “What do you think about it?”

“A week hasn’t passed since his promotion, and he’s already signing as Sergeant?” You mock.

“You really are a bundle of joy, aren’t you?” Ghost scoffs, throwing his hands up. “And they say about me.”

“Why didn’t he just tell me this himself?” you ask, your eyes darting back and forth while trying to process everything.

“There are lots of reasons,” Ghost contemplates. “Maybe he has trouble with expressing things.”

“Are you projecting much, Lt.?”

“Maybe I am,” he shrugs, playing with the spring more uncomfortably than bored this time. “But I also think he is a show-off who likes to suck up to his higher-ups—”

“—hence addressing the letter to you,” you murmur, finishing his sentence. “Gosh, I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t just feel like it,” he jokes. “Embrace it instead.”

You scoff and lean on his desk, messing up the stapler parts he so carefully placed on the table. He playfully swats your hand away and shows you the door.

“Now go, and stop being so whiny all the time,” he orders, holding up the spring and pressing it between his index finger and thumb. “It’s ok to stress, as long as you bounce back stronger, like this.”

———————————————————————

[leah-lover]

Second chances.

Alexia putellas x coach!reader.

Part 1. Part 2

Summary : what happened that night.

4 years ago 

“ stop staring at me and focus on the meeting.” you subtly text your girlfriend from across the room. You were sitting behind the computer so that you can control the slides and she was sitting with the rest of the team. You shoot each other a quick smile and redirect your focus towards the presentation. Once the meeting is over you grab your laptop and head towards the entrance. You were then stopped by Jorge vilda. “ As a part of my coaching staff I expect you to be present at my meetings not just with your body but also with your mind.” you look at him confused. “ giggling and smiling at your phone while I was talking is not acceptable.” 

“ sir it was just one text.” you try to justify yourself. “ Well tell your boyfriend that while you are in camp this team is your number 1 priority.” you didn't have a chance to say anythiçng because he left as soon as he finished talking. You brush off his comments and text your girlfriend about her whereabouts. You then head to her room as she instructed you. When you enter you put your laptop on the table and find your usual place next to her body. You nuzzle on her chest and just lay there as she strokes your hair. 

“ tough day?” she asked alexia. 

“ something like that.” you respond. You then turn around so that you can face her. 

“ Your free kicks were amazing today at practice. You might even be the number 1 in the upcoming games. your reaction time is also over the charts. It's near perfect.” 

“ This is becoming my favorite thing in camp.” 

“ what me telling you about how good you are?” 

“ no, you sharing the bed with me.” 

“ You know I can't stay for long. If he finds out about us we both are out of jobs.” 

“ how would he know? Please just tonight and I won't ask you again. I really need you.” Once alexia asked something of you you couldn't say no. Besides, you really missed her. “ okay but just for tonight.” you then kiss her and cuddle with her for the rest of the night. *

Since you didn't come back to your room your phone died. So as soon as you sneaked out of alexia’s room, headed to yours and plugged it in. Once you got out of the shower you unlocked it to find 10 missed calls, and 6 messages from none other than vilda. You panic as you open the messages. 

Why are you not answering? Why are you not in your room? Where are you? I can't keep looking for you all night? Fine if you don't answer i will go look for answers myself? 

Your heartbeat was faster than it had ever been.  You take a deep breath change out of your robe and pick up your phone to call him. 

“ conference room now.” he says as soon as he picks up leaving you no room for debate. 

Once you go to the conference room in which you were alone with him. He pointed to a chair so you sit there he doesn't though he kept standing. You found yourself speechless. 

“ I employ you with my team because I trust you. I think you have good judgment. But you failed me.” you feel a lump form in your through. “ You failed  me not only with your choice of lifestyle but also who you choose to corrupt and involve with you in this messed up situation. .” you close your eyes so that you won't cry while he still stands in front of you. “ I gave you a job, a   good one. I thought you were my right hand and that you would replace me when i decide to leave. But forming an indecent relationship  with one of my players is off limits.” you feel a knife jam in your heart and a tear leaves your eye. “ Your relationship is wrong and shouldnt have happened. You are lucky I like you so I am gonna give you a chance to change. Break up with her and apologize to me and you can keep your job and she won't be called up anymore. 

His last sentences changed your stance from scared to angry. 

“ Who the hell do you think you are?” you snap. 

“ I am the one who gave you two jobs and I am the one who can take it away from you. Plus I am trying to correct your choice of lifestyle because it is wrong.” 

“ choice of lifestyle. You have to be fucking kidding me. I love alexia putellas, i love a woman. Does it bother you that I love her?  Well go fuck yourself because nothing will tear us apart. And if you take this job away from me I will sue you even if it's the last thing I will do in life.” you were angry and furious. 

“ Nobody wants you here. The players feel uncomfortable because of your new relationship as confessed by the captain last night. So sue me if you want you won't win. Now hand over your badge, get your stuff and leave. You are fired." His blast words left you lifeless. “ as confessed by the captain last night” last night you were sleeping with alexia so it had to irene. You move on autopilot and almost break her door as you knock so hard. Once she stood in front of you you didn't find it in you to scream or fight. 

“ why?” you ask, sounding defeated. 

“ He asked me where you were and he threatened to kick me out of the team.” she said calmly. 

“ So you rat me and your friend out. You couldn't have told him I went for a run. We are friend irene. I didn't think you would betray me like that. I trusted you with the thing I love most in life and you took it away from me so that you could protect yourself. You could have lied.” you say crying. 

“ It was all bound to be exposed with time.” 

“ Is that what you are going to tell yourself so that you can sleep at night? You didn't have to tell him that my relationship made you uncomfortable. You didn't have to tell him anything.   You ruined my life irene. I lost my job because of you. I will never forgive you for that. never. “ you turned your back and left. You went to Alexia's room after. Once she saw your red eyes she took you in for a hug. In her warmth you cried. You cried because of Irene's betrayal. You cried because you lost your job. You cried because you lost everything. 

“ I love you. I love so much amor.” the way alexia said it felt weird to you so you got out of her hold and looked at her. She wiped the tears from your cheeks and took your lips for a searing kiss. She kissed you with so much passion and hunger it left your lips red. 

“ Alexia, what's wrong?” you ask concerned. 

“ He talked to me and asked me to choose between you and the team and I chose the team.” she said with tears in her eyes. 

“ why is it that everybody say things so calmly like its nothing? Is my love for you worth  nothing?” 

“ My whole family, my father’s legacy, everyone depends on me to make them proud. I need to stay in the team for them.” 

“ And what about me? Is everything we dreamt about gone in the wind?”

“ This is more painful than I could have ever imagined. I never thought we would have to leave each other. But my family comes first.” 

Her words cut through your heart and left nothing behind. You kiss her again for the last time; go to your room, collect your things and leave the hotel without talking to anyone. You felt your heart turn to stone as you saw the hotel in your rearview mirror. That day you lost your job, your life, your dream, your purpose, your love and also your heart. That day destroyed you without mercy. 

[nathaslosthershit]

Coworkers?… Something like that (MV33)

Summary: Working in media for a Formula 1 team, you had expected to be behind the scenes, unseen and unnoticed by fans. But catching the eye of one of the drivers and the very public flirting as a result has thrust you into the spotlight Part of my summer event! Warnings: A little suggestive hehe.

It was the perfect job for you. Part of the team you love, far from the spotlight. You were good at it too. Constantly complimented by your boss in meetings on how much engagement some of the content you came up with got. Even the two drivers, who were certainly not known for enjoying media making them do stupid games for the fans, had stopped complaining as much. One driver in particular seemed to really enjoy when you would work with him…

You’d never been a big fan of Max Verstappen. It wasn’t that you disliked him, he was extremely talented of course, and not too bad to look at, but as you had always rooted for the underdog, you couldn’t justify ever celebrating his many many wins. But as you got to know him, as he gave you the warmest of welcomes to the team, you changed your mind. 

You two had been keeping your budding relationship to yourselves. Despite how much you liked each other, until you both had figured out where the relationship was going, it didn’t seem wise to tell anyone, especially while you were just finishing your first year with Red Bull. Despite how much you helped improve the team’s social media presence, if something happened, if it came down to their world champion a few times over, or some girl in media who had only been there for a year…

Luckily, it did get more serious, very serious. After a long conversation, you both had come to the decision that you won’t say anything explicitly, as Red Bull didn’t have rules on dating coworkers that would warrant an official notice to HR, but you wouldn’t hide as much. 

Too bad this decision was made not long before the Drive to Survive team came to film extra content for the show.

It was only supposed to be filler clips. Extra video footage to use with a voiceover to give more time to explain things. ‘Just pretend we aren’t here’ they had told everyone in the office, and oh boy did you pretend. 

It was Max’s fault, 100%. The undisclosed but very apparent relationship between you two was known to everyone at Red Bull at this point, but not the new video crew coming in. And Drive to Survive lives for the dramatics. 

While it wasn’t explicit, a few clips of hand holding (initiated by Max), a kiss on the cheek (given to you by Max), and multiple clips of Max looking at you with nothing but heart eyes, it was hard for anyone watching to ignore. 

Once the new season came out, fans very quickly caught onto all of the content of the two of you that DTS was trying to be sneaky about putting in. That then led to ‘internet sleuths’ finding all of the behind the scenes content they could get of both of you, and then finding your account you had left public thinking no one would care about the random Red Bull media girl. How stupid you were.

“Max, what the fuck are we supposed to do? Do I delete my account and hope people forget?” You asked, stressed by the sudden spotlight.

“That would just make it worse and make them less likely to forget. We will just have to… be honest, give people enough content to keep them satisfied but not spoiled into needing more.”

He was right. It was almost laughable how he was the voice of reason in this situation when media presence was your job. That is how everything started.

There were no ‘official wag paddock walks’, you were too busy working to be Max’s arm candy before a race. But there were a few photos here and there, your team even posted a few BTS moments of the two of you.

“All you have to do is describe the food you are eating to Checo so he can guess.” You explained to Max for the fourth time, but he was still not listening as he was far too busy appreciating the view of the beautiful woman he got the privilege of calling his girlfriend. “Do you understand?”

As Sergio nudged Max, he responded with a quick, “Yes got it”

“Do not say the name of what you are eating.”

“Yes, yes we know.” He absentmindedly said as the two drivers put on their blindfolds. 

Everyone let out a breath of relief as Max went to lift the spoon to his mouth, the entire crew antsy to finish what was supposed to be a quick video before Max ruined it with his heart eyes and lack of comprehension to anything that came out of your mouth. 

“What the fuck! It’s ketchup!” Max exclaimed as everyone groaned.

“Max, you weren’t supposed to say that!”

“I thought I was guessing what it was! That's why I had the blindfold, no?”

They were in for a long day of shooting.

Max had started a stream, hoping to make it quick so he could join you in bed. Unfortunately, when viewers saw that you were walking through the background, they wouldn’t give up until you joined, so neither of you had much of a choice.

Despite how obvious it was that the two of you were together, neither of you had confirmed the status of your relationship. This led to having to ignore about three quarters of the comments you both were getting on the stream.

“Would you like a Red Bull?” Max asked, 45 minutes into what seemed to be a never ending stream.

“No it’s too late, I’ll go get a water-”

“Nope you stay there i'll get it.” Max said, antsy for an excuse to take a moment to himself. The amount of comments about the two of you were starting to piss him off.

He returned to the room to see you answering questions and, while still off camera, he set down the glass and waved to get your attention.

‘End it’ he mouthed, making prayer motions with his hands.

You simply shook your head, you had been having more fun talking to people than he had.

‘Please, I want to go to bed with you’ he mouthed back, wiggling his eyebrows in hopes of conveying he wanted to do much more than simply go to bed. You couldn’t stop the giggle that left your mouth at that.

Seeing all the viewers confused, you simply responded, “Sorry, my coworker was harassing me” which had you giggling again as you saw Max get visibly annoyed at his new title.

“Okay guys, bye.” Was all Max said as he quickly returned to the view of the camera and turned off the stream. He then turned to face you, saying nothing as he dragged you to the bedroom, holding you close as he pushed you down onto the bed with him, causing more giggles to leave your mouth/

Giggles which he quickly stopped with a kiss. And then another. And then another.

The makeout session was in full swing when Max finally remembered why he was annoyed.

Quickly pulling away from you, much to your chagrin, he asked, “Coworkers? Is that all we are now?” He teased.

Giving him a less passionate but more loving kiss this time, you responded with, “Something like that” as you both started to remove your clothes.

[livin4woso]

Silent until spoken too-(arsenal x adhd! Reader)

Summary- growing up reader has always been told that they talk too much or too loud so when transferring to a new team they decide to take a new approach dont speak unless spoken too. Yet it only takes the young aussie to break the readers doubts and the rest of the team follow in persuit.

It was a fresh start for you but this time you need to make a good impression. The words of your mother rang in your thoughts,'no one likes the loud girl' it was something as much as you tried to explain she never understood your talkative behaviour or uncontrollable volume when you speak.

It was when you were 18 that you were finally diagnosed with adhd it was like a weight lifted of your shoulders that you never knew you were carrying to begin with. Knowing this information gave you clarity of why you did certain things yet you still could never justify them and you let the words of ignorant others to swirl in your mind.

Don't be the loud annoying one. Instead, be the opposite. Be silent until spoken too.

The first day of training had arrived quickly and you sat and hyped yourself up in your car to get all of your pent up energy out as you couldn't get rid of it by talking someones ear off then you had to do it some other way. You made your way into the changing room to be introduced to all the sqaud, which was relatively quick and filled with hand shakes and a few hi's and normal chat.

Until you reached the young aussie midfielder, she was a little bit older than you as you were just freshly 20, and she was 22, but there was something different about her a welcoming energy. "Hi, im kyra, but you probably know that.. wait, unless you didnt sorry i shouldn't assume" the words tumble out her mouth at rapid pace yet too you it was the perfect speed. "Hi im y/n nice to meet you" you say back holding your hand out "also i do know that you're kyra so don't worry" you reply letting go of her hand before making your way to your cubby to put on your boots.

Training began, and the negative thoughts still swirled in your mind each time you began to get more talking, which caused you to shut down into silence again, giving people one or two word answers. Yet eachtime you were with kyra you forgot all those doubts and it was if she just knew how to make you talk.

As you walked into lunch the words speeding out your mouth as fast as they could and your conversation getting gradually louder without you realising until one of the older girls commented "y/n can you stop shouting please the person you're talking to is right next to you not a mile away" lia said not meaning any harm but it sends you spiraling that if one person thinks that then soon enough everyone else will "oh right yeah im sorry" you respond in barley over a whisper while toying with the braclet on your wrist.

"Erm im sorry I'll leave you be now you probably want to talk to your other friends" you say to kyra with a forced smile as your thoughts consume you "no its okay come sit with us im sure they would love you and i like listening to you its fun" she said grabbing your hand and dragging you to the table where lessi and vic sat so there wasn't much of a choice.

Dinner was great, and it felt like you could speak without worrying that you are talking too much. Then came something slightly worse there was a pre training meeting which was going to cover what you were doing for the next couple weeks and important dates. Its not that you hate meetings but trying to sit still for so long without irritating the person next to you was the challenge.

The meeting dragged. Well, for you, it did that one hour felt like a year and of course being new you were sat right at the front next to kim and leah so you had to be on your best behavior. It started off okay. You could focus when jonas was talking, then you heard the clock tick, and that was all you could focus on. Then, about 20 minutes in your legs started bouncing, but that wasn't enough, so you started playing the finger drums on your thigh until kim gave you a death stare from next to you. After 40 minutes you'd zoned out completely just staring at the board as you let your thoughts wander you knew you shouldn't have but you couldn't help that you either had the attention span of a goldfish or could only pay attention to one thing.

The meeting had ended, and that's when leah snapped you out of your trance by waving her hand over your face "oi y/n, were you even listening to what i was saying.. the meetings over, " she said."Oh right, yeah, my bad, sorry, I'll get ready to go home, " you said, staring up at her, but as you were about to leave the room, she stopped you.

"Look i dont know whats going on but next time you need to pay more attention you were distracted the whole time and it might just have been nerves becauses it your first day but next time just be more aware" she said in a serious tone yet it had a hint of politeness to it as she meant well. However, at this point, you knew you couldn't hide your adhd forever, and it would give you a reason for your behaviour. "Oh right im sorry erm its my adhd its just hard to pay attention in meetings when i dont have something to fidget with but next time I'll be more prepared" you say your voice laced with worry waiting for her response.

"Well, why didn't you just tell us in the beginning we would have been much more accommodating for you" she says smiling back. "Honestly im not sure its just hard to talk about" you say back.

Since that conversation with leah, life and arsenal had become so much easier, and unlike the words of others, being the loud girl isn't so bad after all. You can't be the annoying one when you accompany yourself in people who don't find you annoying.

[saintslewis]

𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

- drabble.

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x black! fem reader

summary: reader will never let the paddock forget who Lewis Hamilton is.

warnings: cussing.

saint’s team radio 🪩: this is just a lil something. I was pissed tf off yesterday because of some lewis “fans” and i will never miss an opportunity to let ppl know who my goat is 🫦. enjoy

ps, i’m not adding actual reporter’s names for this so i made up random names.

taglist: @mauvecherie-writes @perfecttrashface @non-stop-imagines @emjayewrites @purplelewlew @hopefulromantic1 @motheroffae @exotic-iris13 @httpsserene @queenshikongo3 @greedyjudge2 @cocobutterqwueen

-

The tag from your denim jacket had been irritating you since the second you put it on but you chose to forget about it, often adjusting it with your nails or a little shimmy of your shoulders.

Holding the mic from Sky Sports F1 wasn’t all too odd for you, the broadcast team only handing it to you when talking about Lewis and his achievements. Your support for the Stevenage driver was strong, often being as labelled as biased but you couldn’t care less. The support was mutual between the two of you, usually lingering on the line of friendship but doubt and time was always against you.

Your sunglasses sat on your braided head with a bored expression on your face, just wanting to get this segment over with so that you could go back to your individual blogging and interviews. Standing patiently in front of the cameras while other reporters ran around unorganised, you played with your beaded ‘44’ bracelet.

“My goodness, Y/n! I have no clue how you are so calm, this is always so hard!” One of them exclaimed, laughing in the process. “Not to mention the outfit! You look like you could go to a party!” Another laughed, her smile faltering when your eyes snapped to her, expression never changing.

After a while, the segment began and off the reporters went on a scripted tangent about other teams before getting to the main topic; Lewis. “Now, onto a different subject, Lewis Hamilton’s performance in that car has been nothing short of a…disaster if I could say.” Jimmy said, deciding to look at you as he spoke. Almost as if he was challenging you.

“For a specific race weekend or overall? His teammate, George is doing significantly better. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, it’s like he doesn’t know how to drive.” Jennifer spoke, poorly making an attempt of a joke.

“I’m not too sure why you’re speaking as if he is a rookie. You lot can see that Mercedes hasn’t been doing well as a collective yet you’re targeting one driver who has brought then 8 constructer titles rather than the other who has one win.” Lifting your mic, you spoke with a clear voice, never stuttering.

Frank shook his head and tried to chuckle. “Look Y/n. We understand he’s your boyfriend or whatever but we need to be factual here. What Ferrari has done is a mistake by signing him. I mean, there needs to be more space for others and he’s taking up space.”

“And Alonso’s dusty ass doesn’t need to leave? Using my support for Lewis to try and justify your dislike for him is unprofessional. I have no clue how you have the gumption to say all this.” You responded, still not moving from your spot.

The other 4 reporters stared at you in shock along with other people stopping in the paddock, surrounding the space just in front of the official f1 hospitality suite.

“There’s no need to use aggressive language, Y/n.” Jennifer lifted her hand to place on your shoulder but you moved away in time. “Aggressive for who?” You challenged, tilting your head.

It had gotten quite. “The viewers. It’s not a lie, Lewis is just not good anymore. He needs to make space.” One of them spoke up but you couldn’t be bothered to listen to anyone else other than Frank, your eyes trained on him.

“What? We need to speak with the producers, having an independent journalist was a mistake.” Frank smirked.

“You can take your opinion and shove it up your ass. Thanks for having me, Sky Sports F1.” You turned to the camera to blow a kiss then you gave the mic you were holding to whoever would catch it.

Walking away from the set, you knew what you did was undeniably unprofessional but those people had always had a vendetta against Lewis and any reporter/journalist who support him. Breathing out, you sashayed your way through the paddock with people staring as your braids glided in the slight breeze.

The buzz of your phone shook you out of your racing mind, a little gasp escaping your mouth as you read the notification from instagram.

lewishamilton no joke, that was the best thing i’ve ever seen. glad we have that interview together in 5 minutes :)

You first looked around the paddock after reading that message but you figured that he watched it live just like everyone else did. Your anger for that segment had clouded your thoughts so much, you forgot about the interview you were supposed to have with the champion.

Rushing to the large luxurious paddock club, you received all types of looks from those who either clearly watched the broadcast live or they’re looking at your outfit, although the latter was made up in your mind.

Luckily, he hadn’t arrived to the designated room you booked to have the interview with him but as soon as you got your phone out to record and your notes, the screams and excitement were heard from outside the door and a smile couldn’t help but sneak on your face.

You have only interviewed him three times in your entire career but every time you did so, he never wanted it to end, always trying to make it longer by asking his own questions to you or just sharing a laugh.

With security opening the door for him, he entered the room and spotted you with a smile on his face. He entered alone in the mercedes shirt already on. No words needed to spoken by either of you, Lewis opening his arms for a hug to greet you. Once in his embrace, you thought it’d be quick but to your surprise, it lasted a few moments longer.

“Hi Y/n.” Lewis spoke, a hand still on your shoulder. You took a quick breath and immediately relaxed on the spot. “Hey Lewis.”

“Your response to Sky was insane but I liked it.” He chuckled, sitting across from you with his legs open and a ring clad hand sat comfortably on his lap.

You didn’t want to show him how the sight affected you especially when your emotions are sky high so you remained calm on the outside. “It’s just…I’m pretty sure I lost my job just now because of how I reacted.” You sighed out, flicking a few braids back.

“Some of them had said worse things so you’re okay.” Lewis responded, his tone wasn’t all too sure but he just wanted to lift your mood. “Yeah but I’m black. They used micro aggressions too.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at everything once recalling back to that moment.

“I heard. I’ll have a word with Sky.” He reassured you. “Oooh okay, Sir.” You joked, masking how the reassurance made your stomach flutter. You’d like to think he was openly flirting with you but you quickly put that thought at the back of your mind.

“I just don’t want those people to forget who you are, you know? I’m sure you hear this all the time. You know what you’re doing and you’re the best at it. I wanna remind the people who the goat is.” You rambled a bit, noticing his smile growing as he listened to you.

“You’re too kind, really. I know what I am, it’s just a little tough right now.” He shrugged as he fully leaned back into his seat. “If you need me to fight anybody in your team, let me know.” You winked, flashing a comical smile that made Lewis laugh.

Giving you a once over, Lewis leaned forward and rested his tatted arms on his knees. “You look good today. You always do but today…phenomenal.” He spoke, his voice noticeably relaxed. “Don’t make me blush, Sir.” You smiled, failing terribly at hiding your feeling.

“That nickname, Y/n,” He chuckled. “Is that door locked?” He asked. All you had to do was nod at the man and Lewis smirked, licking his lips in the process.

“C’mere.”

saint’s notes 🪩: slightly rushed, george pissed me off, hope you enjoyed. bye. <3

[i9messi]

Lovers — Ollie Bearman

You and Ollie are very close and historians would say you are only friends, but in reality, everyone (fans and the whole paddock) thinks you two are dating.

(smau and narrated)

note — reader is a female driver!

MASTERLIST

yourusername

last weekend 🖤

liked by olliebearman, kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc and 193.183 others

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kimi.antonelli why the heart? you want to tell us something lady?

yourusername it's a black heart. I'm a black cat I have no feelings for anyone, I just tried to be nice I guess

yourusername and don't call me lady

kimi.antonelli sorry big girl

olliebearman ❤️

liked by yourusername

user1 ollie and y/n content, thanks ma'am

user2 I just want one of them winning the next race, so they can hug and share a cute moment in front of the cameras

user3 I NEED TO KNOW THEY'RE TOGETHER, like actually dating

yourusername posted a story

caption: olliebearman you preferred Kimi over us, so we invited Arthur instead 😁

yourusername posted a story

caption: Arthur made cookies for me. Lucky me I got a new bff!

yourusername posted a story

caption: Oliver got jealous and abandoned Kimi 🙃 that means I have a lot of food now

kimi.antonelli

A day in the sun with my girl and my friends☀️

liked by yourusername, olliebearman, georgerussell63 and 83.183 others

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olliebearman 🥰

georgerussell cute double date!

kimi.antonelli next time you should come with Carmen 😁

user1 ARE OLLIE AND Y/N IN THE LAST PICTURE?

user2 "just friends" yes, of course. I totally believe them

user3 now they have double dates, stop

yourusername Just to clarify, it wasn't a double date. The four of us are friends and we like to share time together, nothing else!

kimi.antonelli olliebearman come here to justify yourself, because the picture talks by itself

olliebearman we are just friends, I swear!

You had spent the afternoon with your friends, having a picnic in the park. You were young and loved to spend your time doing silly things, even when you had a car race this weekend. You really enjoyed breaks more than anyone else and being with your friends was the best part of all.

Sitting next to you, Ollie was with his phone, while you drove to your hotel room. Luckily you, he was also staying in the same hotel, just a few rooms away. Sometimes you thought your teams were doing everything on purpose to keep you close to each other, as if you were a pair that could not be separated under any circumstances.

Where you were going, Ollie was walking behind you. The same happened with you.

“My phone is ringing like crazy.”

“Mine keeps vibrating in my purse.”

Kimi thought it was a good idea to post pictures from your picnic date, where you and Ollie were very close. That had caused the world to react and to start with their theories. Even your own family had asked you several times if something was going on between the two of you, to the point where you started to doubt whether you ever did anything to make them suspicious.

You were just friends.

“Do you think they’re right?”

“About what, Ollie?”

Your eyes stopped seeing the road for a second, to put them over him.

“About us. I know we’re not dating, but sometimes I think maybe they’re noticing something that we’re not.”

“We’re just friends.”

“We are.”

None of you insisted on the subject, acted as if you had never spoken about it in the first place. When you arrived at the hotel, you went to your room and Ollie went to his own.

Not ten minutes passed, when you felt a knock on the door. Barefoot and in your nightwear, you opened the door. Ollie was there, his hair all messed up.

“I need to talk to you, it’s urgent.”

“Is something wrong? Is your family okay?”

“Everyone’s fine, it’s not about that.”

“All right, come on in.”

You let him in and Ollie walked into the middle of the room. It was a big space and his presence never made you uncomfortable.

Before you could talk, Ollie spoke.

“I think they’re right.”

“Ollie…”

“There’s something more between us, we’re not just friends.”

You were silent, thinking about his words. Ollie spoke again, so confidently as he said his insecure words. Confident and insecure, he was a mix of both.

“I feel things for you and I’m tired of pretending that it’s nothing and that we’re just friends.”

It wasn’t until you heard those words that everything suddenly started to make sense. You started to remember the way your heart used to beat when you were around him, the way you felt incredibly happy when he won races, or the way you constantly posted photos of him to your social media. You always found a way to make Ollie present in your life.

It wasn’t the same feelings you had for Kimi. What you felt for the English was much deeper, romantic.

You smiled at him. You loved to spend your time with him, and when something good or bad happened to you, you ran to his side because you knew no one else would understand you the way he did.

You were in love. And you were in love with nothing else than your best friend, Ollie.

“Do you have feelings for me?” asked him, looking anxiously for an answer from you.

“I have feelings for you and I’m terrified.”

Ollie smiled and walked one step towards you.

“I’m terrified, too.”

olliebearman

she made me a cake 😍

liked by yourusername, kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc and 229.174 others

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yourusername who's that chick? I bet she's cool

olliebearman she's cooler than me and so beautiful

yourusername mmm I think I don't now her

olliebearman silly, I really like you ❤️

yourusername I like you too, bear boy 🖤

user1 WHATTTTTTT STOP

user2 THIS IS A HARD LAUNCH

user3 I know there were signs but nothing prepared me for this

kimi.antonelli me? fan of this couple since day one

arthur_leclerc yesssss, finally. I was so tired of being used by her to make Ollie jealous

yourusername I wasn't trying to make him jealous 🙄

charles_leclerc what a lovely couple

georgerussell63 love to see young love!

[poisonlove]

Make you mine | t.c

pairing: Tara carpenter X rea

Summary: Tara is engaged, but the reader couldn't care less.

Warning: smut

Music blared within the walls of the Meeks-Martin home.Pulsating bass made the walls vibrate, while twinkling lights danced in perfect harmony with the music. The teenagers, with glasses in hand, abandoned themselves to the frenetic pace, letting themselves be carried away by the wave of euphoria that permeated the air.

The attention of my eyes was magnetized by the presence of the girl who had already captured my attention for some time: Tara Carpenter.

The brunette wore an adorable and sexy pirate costume, her hips swaying to the beat of the music asa smug smile printed on her lips as she felt her boyfriend Chad's hands roaming over her body.

I squeeze the glass tightly, causing the beer to fall to the floor.

My Jennifer Check costume gets a little stained but it's not really a problem.

—Hey!- I turn towards the sound of the voice and see Mindy giving me a dirty look —You ruined the carpet- she says desperately and I snort at her exaggeration.

— I was distracted.– I say seriously.

Mindy raises an eyebrow and turns to see where I was looking with so much intensity and saw Tara give Chad a kiss.

—friend, you should stop this Tara fixation, she doesn't want you- Mindy makes a face and looks at me with a hint of pity.

—don't look at me like that- I stick my tongue out at my friend and she raises her hands as a sign of surrender, her girlfriend at her side observing the situation with curiosity.

— and I assure you it does, you just don't see it- I say shyly looking at Tara.

—she hates you- Mindy says sing-sonically and I roll my eyes at her comment.

— from hate to love there is a subtle thread- I say with a small smile, my finger wiping away the lipstick that simulates blood on my lips.

—You're wasting time-Mindy shouts and then looks at her girlfriend with a smile on her lips.— I advise you to go and have fun with other girls, many die for you - Mindy admits and then kisses her girlfriend making me feel a shiver of discomfort.

I turned my attention to Tara Carpenter and skillfully avoided an idiot carrying a barrel of beer on his shoulders.—I'm sorry- he apologized hastily and I forced a fake smile.

—It's alright- I muttered through gritted teeth and the guy grinned widely, showing off his white teeth. The song "Make you mine" by Public starts playing and the guy raises his free arm to the sky, shouting as he walks towards his friends.

I rolled my eyes and saw Chad whispering something into Tara's ear, making her smile. Meeks-Martin walked away from her towards his football team friends.

It was my moment.

Like a predator, I kept my focus on Tara's figure as I walked through the crowd, trying to get as close as possible. The brunette held a glass in her hand,swaying gently to the music. I bit my lower lip and positioned myself behind her wrapping my arms around her waist.

—You're back already?- Tara asked with a smile, and I bit my lower lip to refrain from shouting in excitement. Tara's body relaxed against mine as we swayed together, making me smile widely.

I knew I was doing something wrong, but I couldn't easily give up.

—Everything okay?- she asked timidly and I nodded against her neck, making her sigh. Tara tilted her head to the side and I smile mischievously thought it was the right time to make my presence known.

—With you by my side, everything's wonderful- I said seductively and Tara's body tensed up.

The brunette freed herself from my touch and turned abruptly towards me, giving me a dirty look. —You- Tara clenched her jaw, her eyes narrowing emphasizing her hostility towards me.

—In the flesh- I ran my hands along my body and Tara gave a quick glance before looking at me with annoyance.

—What do you think you're doing? Touching me as if I'm not already taken?- she asked calmly, and I shrugged indifferently.

—You didn't complain- I justified with a smirk, making her grunt in annoyance.

—I thought you were Chad- she confessed, and I looked at her with a smug smile, irritating her even more. —As if you didn't notice feeling two smaller arms- I said timidly and she huffed annoyed.

—I hate you- she muttered through her teeth and I smiled even more.

I leaned towards her and her eyes observed my movement carefully. I licked my lips and she shivered noticeably at our proximity.

—I know you like me- I said hoarsely and Tara shook her head. her hand rest on my chest to push me away.

—No- she whispered and I smiled timidly.

—Come on, Tara... Stop denying it- I said softly, and the brunette shook her head making me angry. —Stay away from me- she said seriously, slipping out of my grasp and heading upstairs.

I closed my eyes and groaned in despair.

Without thinking twice I went upstairs and looked for the pirate, seeing her enter Chad's room. I sighed loudly, anger boiling in my veins as I entered behind her tired of the flirting situation.

I locked the door.

—what the hell are you doing?!- Tara Carpenter lets out a yelp of surprise feeling my hands around her waist making her back slam against the door. —I just want the truth- I said calmly and looked at Tara curiously.

The brunette breathes loudly, our noses touching.

—I want Chad- she says calmly. Her eyes trail down to my lips and I smile wide catching her in the act. —You can do better- I say shyly, her hand gripping her hip.

Tara seemed to hyperventilate at any moment.

—and would that be you?- Tara laughs mockingly but her attempt to ridicule me fails miserably. —Yes-I confess in a low voice and Tara tilts her head to the side, analyzing me carefully.

—I hate you- she murmurs, swallowing her saliva loudly, avoiding my gaze.—Say it looking into my eyes- I say seriously, mentally preparing myself for her answer.

Tara looks up and her brown eyes stare into mine with superb attention.

—I...- she begins and swallows her saliva loudly, her  teeth clenching her jaw. —I ...- she repeats again and sighs with frustration.

—to hell with it— Tara grabs my face and pushes me violently against her, bringing our lips together abruptly.

I sigh against her mouth and squeeze her waist tighter, bringing her closer to my body. The brunette's hands roam along my body making me smile and feel shivers of excitement. I increase the intensity of the kiss wanting to literally merge our bodies and I let myself be carried away by the carousel of fantastic sensations that are circulating in my body.

—I knew you wanted me- I smile widely knowing I have gained her attention.

Tara pulls away a little, her gaze mixed with desire and uncertainty on her part.—I can't... I shouldn't...-

I look at her intently, trying to grasp every nuance of her mood.

—You don't have to worry about should or could- I reply firmly, moving closer to her again. —We just have to follow what makes us feel alive, at least for a moment.-

Tara hesitates for a moment, but then she abandons herself to the kiss again, letting herself be carried away by the whirlwind of emotion that envelops us. Our lips move together in a synchronized kiss as my hands slowly roam her body.

I slowly undo the strings of Tara's dress and the brunette raises her arms, making the gesture easier for me. Our lips connect again as Tara walks towards the bed in the room, resting her back on the mattress.

I break the kiss and see Tara's eyes completely hooded with excitement, a shiver runs through my body.

I get lost in her facial features: full, perfect lips, long eyelashes, freckles and such a damn sexy smile.

—Shall we take this off?- I say in a hoarse voice and Tara nods weakly, taking off her dress. My mouth waters at the sight of her body covered in underwear.

I bring our lips together again and start attacking her neck making her sigh loudly.

My hand was between her fully open legs silently inviting me to continue.—Please- Tara begs me softly and I moan from the feeling of her nails digging into my skin.

—what do you want- I say between my teeth.My fingers play with her underwear making her exasperated.

The party music could be heard in the background in this room.

—Y/n— she says through her teeth and I smile with satisfaction.

(Don't you feel the rush?) Make you mine Look at it in my eyes, how they never lie.

I accept her silent please and literally tear off her panties—Y/n! They were new!— Tara looks at me reproachfully.

— Oh shit!- Her facial expression changes instantly as she feels my fingers sink into her.

My lips find their home on her neck, Tara's sighs and moans escalating recklessly.

—Fuck! — Tara moans and bites her lips hard, her nails digging into my still-clothed back.

I increase the speed and intensity of  her making the brunette who was close to her orgasm moan more.

—Are you coming already? -I tease her by whispering in her ear and the brunette sighs loudly-shut up and continue- Tara says in a serious voice and I obey her orders by increasing the speed.

Tara's walls enveloped my fingers and I knew she was at her limit.

—Say my name- I say against her neck and Tara moans more.—Fuck... Y/N!- Tara moans louder and her fluids pour onto my fingers.

I prolong her wave of pleasure.

I kissed her again.

Someone knocks on the door and moves the handle trying to enter the room. Tara separates from me and looks at the door with alarm.

—love? It's you?-Chad says behind the door.I bit my lip trying to hold back my laughter.

Tara's eyes widen and she looks at the door with concern.

What a shitty situation.

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

Stephanie Brown: The Girl Robin, The Doomed Robin

Stephanie Brown is fired as Robin in Robin #128 (1993). I think there is strong evidence that Batman saw her time as Robin as temporary, and that she was always going to be fired, excuse or not, in Robin #128 or not. Just as soon as she became more trouble than she was worth, or as soon as she was no longer necessary.

I want to look at why (even from a Watsonian perspective) Stephanie Brown as Robin was doomed from the start. Here's Why I think this:

1. The False “Skills and Talent” excuse is reaffirmed and reutilized

After the period of time where Stephanie is sanctioned as Spoiler by Batman, she is ‘fired’ for the first time in Gotham Knights #37.

Batman does not tell Stephanie she is fired, he just never reallows her entry into the Batcave after locking everyone out during Bruce Wayne: Murderer. She has to track him down and ask what’s going on to find out he dropped her like she was nothing.

Gotham Knights #37 (2000)

He tells her it’s because she lacks the “skills or talent”. Is this true? Well… no, not reallyZ Or at least, we have very few good reasons to believe that this is Batman's real reason he fires her, especially in the face of all the other better substantiated explanations the text supports and states. As I’ve analyzed before, there’s strong evidence Batman fires her because he has reunited with his estranged team no longer needs her to make himself stop feeling lonely. Additionally, some part of her firing is because she reminds him too much of his dead son. (I highly recommend checking out the corresponding posts if you are interested in why)

Point is, I’ve already argued how the “skills or the talent” line is pretty much an Extremely bullshit excuse he only tells Stephanie to justify himself to her. But what does that have to do with Steph’s run as Robin?

Well, the idea that Stephanie lacks “the skills or the talent” comes up again. In fact, the exact words “skills and talent” are directly repeated when she is first sanctioned as Robin. And its very telling how they are used.

Let’s look at that moment. 

Alfred is trying to dissuade Batman from making Stephanie Robin, and Batman is defending his choice.

Robin #126 (1993)

Batman claims once more that Stephanie does not have the “skills and talent”. 

By doing this, Batman is reaffirming his largely facetious rationale he tells Stephanie when he he fires her the as Spoiler. By refusing to abandon this as an excuse, and repeating it now, he is reaffirming his own validity in that moment, his correctness is dropping her in the way he did.

But its also weird. If he fired her as Spoiler because he claimed she lacked “the skills or the talent”, why is he using her lack of “skills and talent” as a reason why she should be Robin?

Batman says she can be taught the “skills and talent” he claims she currently lacks. Was that magically not true when he fired her for lacking those same “skills and talent” in Gotham Knights #37? 

This straight contradiction is weird. What it does is key us in to the fact that Batmans spoken explanation about “skills and talent” for whether or not he wants Stephanie on his team is not really based off of any consistent logic about her skill level. 

This is backed up by something else he says to justify this choice in that very same comic.

Robin #126 (1993)

Again, this logic makes no sense with his past actions. If the issue with Stephanie being a vigilante is she is “out on her own” without being “under [Batmans] direct supervision”, then why did he fire Stephanie without a proper reason when she was sanctioned as Spoiler and was  under his supervision, when he was training her? 

Again, Robin #126 creates entirely contradictory logic for Batman, and calls out the specific peculiarities of this through the repetition of the “skills and talent” phrasing.

These moments establish right off the bat that Bruce Wayne’s spoken rationale for hiring Stephanie as Robin is completely illogical. 

Batman reusing the “skills and talent” justification also reaffirms his willingness to justify his first firing of her, and sets up the potential for him to use the exact same dumbass excuse that he used the first time.

This all shows that Batman is willing to use his bullshit excuses to fire or hire her indiscriminate from her actual personhood depending on what is most useful for him. And it shows Batman is retaining and reaffirming his so called “logic” for firing her in Gotham Knights #37, therefore leaving open the opprotunity for him to reuse the exact same excuse if he felt like it.

Chiefly, the reference to Gotham Knights #37 and her orginal firing asks us to compare her time as Robin to the first time she was hired and then fired, and examine why. And if the first time Steph was sanctioned was absoluely arbituary, what does that say about what might be true about her time as Robin?

But wait! There’s more.

2. Alfred’s allusion to Steph as an instrument to get Tim back as Robin

Alfred confronts Batman with this idea that Bruce might be trying to “lure” back Tim as Robin by making Stephanie Brown Robin.

Robin #126 (1993)

Regardless of how this scheme is supposedly meant to work, this idea is presented to the reader from Alfreds point of view. Alfred, who oftentimes serves as a vantage point of morality and reason in contrast to Batmans single-mindedness and irrational obsessions. Additionally, the language Alfred uses certifies how serious of an option this is. Alfred doesn’t just ask Batman to “clarify” or “say” he isn’t hiring Steph as Robin to lure Tim back, Afred asks Batman to “promise” it. The word “promise” implies that this isn’t just a far off vague possibility that Alfred is discussing, but a distinct and worrying probability Alfred is detecting.

And damningly, Bruce does not answer Alfreds plea. All he would have to say is one word, ‘no’, and he would banish this as a possibility from Alfred's mind and largely deny this reading from the narrative. But, as we see, he doesn’t deny what Alfred says. He ignores the direct question, and he turns his face away. Look at how as he speaks only a sliver of his face is visible in the proceeding panel to Alfreds question. 

This places Batmans silence in an even more damning light. He can’t even look Alfred in the eyes, he is already looking away as he speaks, as he ignores Alfreds question entirely.

You can decide whether or not you find this moment entirely convincing, whether or not you believe Alfred is correct in his assessment. But at the very least, this moment asks the reader take seriously the possibility that Alfred is right: that Batman has made Stephanie Robin in order to try to get Tim Drake back as Robin.

But wait! There’s even more.

3. Stephanie Brown and the lack of information given to her as proof of the temporariness nature of her time as Robin

Bruce Wayne’s distrust of Stephanie is a long running theme of their relationship. It’s brought up consistently during the time she is sanctioned as Spoiler. 

Robin #100 (1993)

And it drives a wedge between her and Tim romantically, before she is eventually told Tims real identity.

This isn’t just a vague distrust, the main way it manifests is through the secret, vigilante related information which Stephanie does not have access to.

She is denied knowledge, specifically secret identity related knowledge, consistently. Not having Stephanie cued into all of the information the rest of the team has when she is Spoiler is a tactical decision which isn’t exactly cruel or necessarily especially strange on its own. But this distrust with sensitive information, (most primarily Batman���s true identity as Bruce Wayne) is extremely strange when Stephanie is made Robin.

The “Robin” identity up until that point is invariably tied to Bruce Wayne. 

In the cases of every Robin beforehand, (in most interpretations and tellings) the meeting of Bruce Wayne and the meeting of Batman occur in extremely close proximity to one another, and the full picture of Bruce Wayne’s secret identity does not remain a total secret for very long, and in NONE of these tellings is that information not known when any of the other Robins put on the costume. The Robin and Batman relationship is also just generally tied strongly to Bruce Wayne as an identity. Dick Grayson and Jason Todd are ward and adopted son respectively of Bruce Wayne specifically, and Tim Drake lives with Bruce Wayne in the manor. They all interact with the man and the mask.

Stephanie breaks this pattern. She is the only Robin who doesn’t get to know his real name or see his face. (Her relationship with Batman mirrors the early Batgirl/Batwoman archetype much more- a character who interacts with The Batman, but isn’t alllowed know him as Bruce Wayne)

The text of Robin #126 points out her lack of knowledge specifically, but explains it away as temporary.

Robin #126 (1993)

We are told in this panel that it is a temporary matter, that of course Stephanie will eventually get to know Batmans identity, she just has to prove herself first!

This screams bullshit to me. Stephanie has worked him as Spoiler for a considerable amount of time in the past, and after more time still she’s been made Robin, but this probation until she gets to know the “big secrets” is somehow necessary where it never has been before? I don’t really buy it, but you are certainly allowed to take him at his word.

Anyway you slice it, distance from important information, the “big secrets” is a prevailing aspect of Stephanie’s time as a vigilante.

And it finally comes to a head in War Games (2004). (I won’t break down the entirety of my thoughts on War Games here for the record, but trust me, they are numerous and vitriolic)

This idea of Batman's distrust in giving Stephanie sensitive information is hammered in over and over during War Games. For instance, the first issue of War Games contains several small allusions to this idea.

Batman: The 12 Cent Adventure (2004)

This only becomes more overt as War Games continues, specifically when Stephanie meets and speaks with Catwoman.

Catwoman #34 (2002)

Catwomans internal monolouge points out the specific strangeness of Robin Stephanie not knowing who Matches Malone is, she presses on how this is especially strange for someone using the Robin mantle, alluding to what I touched on earlier, the unqiuess of Robin Stephanie’s relationship with secrets and secret identities compared to every other Robin.

 Catwoman #34 (2002)

We get another example of this where Selina once more points out information that Selina, a longtime friend, enemy, and lover of Batman, assumes Robin would or should naturally know, which we discover Stephanie was not privy to during her time as Robin.

Thats two examples where Stephanie’s lack of knowledge about secret identities (which there is no real reason for her not to know) is specifically pointed out to be strange and uncommon in relation to what the “Robin” mantle denotes, a level of trust which is simply not present.

But what am I getting at here? What does this distrust mean?

Well, if you ask me, it’s evidence that Robin, for Stephanie, was always intended by Bruce Wayne to be temporary. You don’t give sensitive information to temporary members, to the people who aren’t long term, who aren’t meant to stick around, who are going to be dropped, just like Bruce dropped her the first time.

This feels especially true given the fact that this sensitive information she is not told, in the case of catwomans secret ID and who Matches Malone is, isn’t particulary sensitive at all and the sort of information that it’s clearly expected a Robin should know. 

To me, the fact that all of that information is withheld from Steph, and especially the fact that she doesn’t get to know “The Secret” is indicative of the fact that she was always going to be fired as Robin, that she was always meant to be temporary.

Between the “skills and talent” reiteration, Alfred’s explicit reference to the idea that Batman was using Stephanie to lure Tim back, and the information which is withheld from Stephanie in direct contrast to every previous Robin, there is substantial evidence that Bruce Wayne always intended for Stephanie Brown to be a means to an end as Robin.

If we take Alfreds word, this temporariness is because Stephanie served as a cog in Bruce’s larger scheme to lure back Tim into the role of Robin.

Does this mean Batman though of her as temporary the entire time she was Robin? No. Does that mean he was doing this maliciously? Also no. Did he even know he was doing this distancing consciously? Hard to say. 

It also doesn’t mean he didn’t have sweet moments with Stephanie as Robin, it doesn’t mean he didn’t change his mind about using her to lure Tim back (if that was his plan at some point), and it doesn’t mean he never cared about her.

But I think it's entirely fair to say that at least some part of Bruce Wayne was just fine with using Stephanie the same way he did when he sanctioned her as Spoiler and then dropped her. That at least some part of Batman was retaining these excuses, keeping up those walls and secrets because at least some part of him knew she wasn’t supposed to last. That some part of him did this so that he would be able to get rid of her guilt free as soon as it became more beneficial for her to get gone.

[captainbfresh]

Forever considering writing a coldflash fic where Barry decides to go and save Snart from the occulus after a day where he just can't save anyone.

And he figures it all out and if he times it right nothing will change because the occulus still explodes and Barry can drop them back off in the present so everything that happened still happens and he's just making sure that Snart gets a future as well as the rest of them.

And he does it. And nothing goes wrong and he is so excited because he saved someone without fucking with timelines etc

But team flash are pissed because they're seeing it as another flashpoint moment and Barry not learning from his mistakes and Barry's insistence that it's not the same because he knew nothing would change doesn't help because its just showing it was premeditated and if he can justify this one who's to say he won't justify it again.

And iris breaks off their engagement because she doesn't want to live always wondering whether this is the first time they've lived through something.

And when Snart finds out that stopping him from blowing up essentially blew up Barry's life he's like "well why don't you just drop me back off where ya left me?" Because everyone's moved on after his death and he has issues.

And Barry's like?!??! That is exactly what Iris doesn't want me to do what the fuck is wrong with you. I can't kill you just so she doesn't dump me and I wanted to save you. I'm not letting you die because Iris doesn't want to marry me. I'm sure we can work it out. (they dont)

And Barry helps like reintegrate Len into the land of the living while Len 'helps' Barry deal with his broken engagement (mainly just mocking him tbf) and len splitting his time between helping team flash with their problems and doing crime because he is that bitch.

And of course they fall in love

[hotchscoffeecup]

how do we carry on?

pairing: hotch x bau!reader

rating: m

word count: 4.8k

genre: angst, hurt no comfort

summary: emily was your confidant, your best friend. when she dies at the hands of ian doyle, you find comfort in your boyfriend, aaron. when you find out that she’s alive and that hotch had known all along, your world falls out from under you. can you and hotch come back from the decision he made for the good of the team?

*if this gains enough traction i might follow up with a pt.2 to give it a happy ending*

The criss-crossed lines of the tile floor blur together as you stare blankly between your feet. The tops of your thighs have gone numb from digging your elbows into them, using your cradled hands as a pillow for your forehead. You couldn’t go home, not until you knew.

Rossi had offered to go on a walk and get a coffee, but shitty lukewarm hospital coffee was the last thing you needed. You hadn’t meant to write him off, you just couldn’t justify doing anything to distract from the fact that she was on that operating table, that Emily’s life was literally hanging in the balance.

The rest of the team was no better off than you are right now. Penelope’s knitting needles clack relentlessly, the scarf inside of her purse growing as her hands keep busy so her mind doesn’t focus on how hard she’s trying not to cry. The last time you’d poked your head up, Derek hadn’t moved from the waiting room windowsill where he’d been standing still as a statue staring out at the cityscape. If Spencer didn’t stop shaking his leg, you feared he would wear a hole straight through the tile. JJ exits the waiting room as often as she returns, her liaising days quickly coming back, making her their only link to the operating room. Hotch’s behavior is no different. His cell rings every ten to fifteen minutes, no doubt the Bureau wanting to know how the hell this could happen. It’s the only sign that time is actually passing and you’re forced to accept that you’re not stuck in some fucked up purgatory-esque hellscape where time stands still, torturing you as your dear friend’s life teeters between worlds.

What you wanted, what you needed was for him to hold you; to place a kiss against your temple and tell you that everything would be alright. It had to be alright.

He couldn’t show favor to you though, not now. The team didn’t know about your relationship with him, though you believe a few have their suspicions. You’re all too observant for your own good. Not much goes unnoticed by anyone. So when JJ walks back into the waiting room, everyone shifts toward her to try and get a glimpse into her facial expression and body language for any sign of an update regarding Emily’s condition.

Instantly, you know something is wrong. JJ’s eyes flit from one person to the next, not lingering very long on anyone. Spencer is the first to stand and you follow suit. You close in, forming a small half circle. Behind JJ, Hotch stands in the doorway, brow straight as he folds his arms across his chest.

“JJ?” Her name is an anxious plea on Penelope’s lips.

JJ’s eyes drop to the floor as she presses her lips together. She takes a deep breath and lifts her eyes, yours the ones they land on as she speaks. “She never made it off the table.”

A choked sob echoes from Garcia as she falls into Derek’s arms, his features fixed as he stares ahead though his knuckles flush white as he holds tightly onto Penelope. Rossi pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed as he mutters something to himself; a prayer, maybe. Spencer envelopes JJ in a desperate embrace, as if clinging to her will somehow make her words any less true. Afterall, how can they be? Emily can’t go down, not like this; not after all she’s survived.

Someone says your name. Your brow dips, but you don’t respond. You need to see Emily. Your feet move of their own accord, guiding you through the waiting room. Someone grabs your arm and you tug away from their grasp, set on pushing onward and finding the OR.

Someone repeats your name, and you can’t help but latch on to the deep tenor that belongs to Hotch. You halt in your tracks and close your eyes, tears leaking over your eyelids and down your cheeks.

“I need to talk to Emily,” you say, your voice small.

The way Hotch says your name is laced with pity and you hate the way it sounds on his tongue. He pulls gently on your arm in an attempt to reel you into him, but you resist. You bite your lip to still its trembling. Yanking your arm free, you press on into the hallway and stumble toward the double doors that read in bold letters: Authorized Personnel Only. Fuck that. You’ve got a badge, that’s authority enough. Before you can push through, firm hands twist around your arms.

You push back, but their grip tightens. “Stop,” Hotch urges authoritatively. You turn into him and pound your fist against his chest, a sob cracking free from your mouth. “She’s not gone,” you cry. “She’s not gone. She’s not—” Your legs tremble with the wave of grief that crashes over you and you can’t hold your weight as it does so. Falling to your knees, Hotch reacts. His arms fold around your waist, catching you as you collapse into the wide plane of his chest. Your ribs ache as your lungs inflate with each rapid, sobbing breath. Your vision turns fuzzy at the edges as you try and fail to slow your breathing. It feels like you’re dying as the waves of grief assail you over and over again, battering you, body and mind, in an unrelenting tumultuous current of sorrow and pain as the wicked reality sets in. Emily is dead. You barely feel Hotch’s hand in your hair cradling you against him. As he murmurs apologies and sympathies in your ear, you don’t see the weighted look he exchanges with JJ.

•

The funeral comes and goes. The day is too beautiful for Emily not to be there to see it. You sit on the porch at Hotch’s house, breathing in and out as you watch the daffodils dance in the afternoon breeze. You smooth the fabric of your dress down over your knees, the satin wrinkled from the way you clenched it during the service.

Your phone buzzes in your purse. The number of messages and phone calls you’d ignored continues to rise, but you can’t bring yourself to express any gratitude for their condolences. You can’t bring yourself to feel anything except the crushing weight of grief.

You picture Emily sitting beside you on the wooden porch swing. Last Summer, you’d sat here with her as the team gathered for a Fourth of July Barbecue. Jack had made invitations and delivered them to the team at the office. He’d been so excited and so were you. It was around then that you and Hotch had begun to toe the line between colleagues and something more; a morning coffee dropped off at your desk here, an extra visit to his office there. You’d sat here with Emily watching as Rossi backseat barbecued Hotch on the grill. She’d caught you smiling at him alongside the fondness in your gaze. She’d clocked you from a mile away.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad.” Her laugh had tinkled from lips, ringing like a morning bell.

“What are you talking about?” you’d asked, trying and failing to school your features into a mask of indifference.

“I’ll tell ya, it’s a big swing, but if you hit it, that’s a home run for sure.”

You’d nearly choked on your lemonade, coughing and gasping; drawing the attention of the others.

“Wrong pipe!” Emily had called while pointing at you and clapping a hand against your back. “She’s good!” In a low voice she’d added, “Though I’m sure with him, it’d be just the right pipe.”

You’d elbowed her in the ribs and bust out laughing together. For the longest time after that, she’d been the only person that you’d confided in about your burgeoning feelings and relationship with Aaron. Through that, she’d quickly become your closest friend on the team.

A couple of kids shout at one another, laughing, as they ride past the house on their bicycles; shattering the memory. You dip into your purse and withdraw your phone, pressing a button and powering it down. The screen door creaks on its hinges and Hotch steps down onto the porch, the planks shifting beneath his weight. He sits beside you and offers you a mug. The scent of coffee reaches your nose and you accept it, thanking him quietly. Aaron had taken his suit jacket off and loosened his tie. He stretches an arm around your shoulder and draws closer to you. He kisses the side of your face and stares out at the yard.

“It was a beautiful service,” he offers.

“Aaron, don’t.” You close your eyes and take a breath. You hold the coffee with both hands, rubbing your thumbs up and down the warm ceramic. “Please don’t make small talk with me about this like it’s all so fucking normal.”

He sighs and apologizes. “I just wish I could make all of your hurt go away.”

A shudder runs through you and you nestle in closer to him, taking a sip of your coffee as you do so. “I don’t think it’ll ever go away.”

•

Her brown eyes stare back at you, though the photo paper could never capture the light that flared within them when she was alive. Of all the faces you could have seen up on this wall, you’d never anticipated hers being one of them.

Every day you stop by her portrait on the wall of fallen heroes. People talk about her less and less around the office. The team doesn’t stop, though your conversations are stilted and often end in awkward silences; no one really knowing how to carry on once the conversation slows to a natural end. You speak often with Spencer about the ways in which you’ve been grieving, the sleepless nights and early mornings. Derek is reserved. He’s angry above anything else. He feels betrayed by Emily and a part of you understands that. She’d not told any of you after all. You’d be remiss if you’d not also spent some of your time grieving in anger. Of all the times you’d stayed late after work, gotten together to hang out on weekends, or gone out for drinks, she had never indicated anything was wrong. You had told her everything, confided every one of your fears and hopes into her and you’d thought that the street had been going both ways. God, you’d never been so wrong.

“Conference room in fifteen,” Aaron says as he walks past you, hand grazing your back as he does so.

You smile tightly and nod, glancing once more at Emily’s photo before making your way to your desk in the bullpen, ignoring the fact hers still sits empty and unoccupied beside yours. How has it been three months already?

•

“Emily!”

Your eyes dart around the room frantically searching as your heart thunders in your ears. You feel the organ pounding against your ribcage, threatening to break free of it. It only takes a second for you to realize it had been a dream.

Aaron rolls over and sits up, threading an arm around your back and rubbing your hip with his fingers. “Another nightmare?” he asks, words tinged with sleepiness.

You nod, yawning as you rub your eyes. The dreams are further apart, but at least every other week her face haunts your subconscious. You can’t help but wonder if it’s some sort of self-punishment as life goes on and the days get easier.

In reality, you don’t know if it’s easier or if you’ve just forced yourself to become numb to it all, compartmentalizing the pain of losing your best friend because if you didn’t you don’t think you’d be able to leave the house and do what you do day after day.

“Are the appointments with the therapist helping?” he asks.

Another question you don’t know the answer to. On some level, yes. Talking to someone who knows nothing about you or her or anyone else on the team is good. You don’t have to walk on eggshells, worried you're going to dig open a wound the others are equally fighting to heal by talking about her or how much you miss her or wish she was here. On another level, you don’t open up fully to the doctor. There are some layers of this injury you don’t want to see heal and scar over. If you do that, it’s like you’re telling Emily that you’re over her death, as if it’s something as easy as that, something you just get over. No, some things need to stay fresh, to serve as a reminder that Ian Doyle is still out there. The man who took your best friend away from you and your BAU family is breathing and she’s not. You clench your fists, the sheets balling up in your hands as your resentment burns deep inside you. Yes, that’s it, the idea of him walking around thinking he’s gotten away with this is enough to stoke the flames simmering deep inside you.

You take a deep breath, mentally imagining the flames subsiding, and they do. They dial down, but they don’t disappear. You glance down at Aaron, who snores softly beside you. His fingers still curl around your hip and a faint smile graces your lips. He tries, you know he does, but this is exhausting for everyone. He bears the brunt of it at the office. He fought to be the one to meet with the team and conduct the grief interviews, not wanting a stranger to come in and sift through your friends’ and colleagues’ pain over what happened. God knows how much bureaucratic red tape he had gotten tangled in right after the fact, the higher ups demanding how such a blunder could occur right under their noses. Aaron had put out the fires though, as he always did. Reaching around his back, you withdraw his hand from your hip and tuck it by his side, not before pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

You glance at the clock before lying back down. 4:15AM blinks back at you on the digital clock face. In forty five minutes the alarm will go off and it’ll be another day at the office. Settling down into the pillows, you press your back into Aaron’s body, yours molding against the planes of his as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

His arms slinks around your waist and pulls you in as if you can get any closer than you already are. He tucks his chin over your shoulder and his lips brush against your jawline.

“I love you,” he whispers and you relax into the safety of his embrace.

“I love you, too, Aaron.”

•

Nights are hard when Aaron is gone. Pakistan is nine hours ahead and all Hotch has to communicate with anyone is a satellite phone, the number for which you don’t have access to. Whenever Hotch calls, the caller ID flashes the word ‘Unknown’ across your screen. There have been several times you’ve missed him due to being asleep or at work. Each call missed feels like being sucker punched. Every time you talk, a part of you worries it’ll be the last time. You didn’t use to have this fear, not until Emily. Despite staring death in the face on a week by week basis, most of the time playing Russian Roulette with the Grim Reaper himself in each unsub you cross paths with, somehow you never thought he’d actually take someone you love from you; that he’d take down one of the team. You never thought there’d be a last conversation with Emily, and now she’s dead.

Dead. The word is a heavy stone, sinking from the cusps of your mind to the pit of your stomach. It sits there, a persistent ache idling deep inside of you. It never relents and it never allows you to forget.

There are nights you dream that Aaron is dead too, that somewhere far away and beyond your control, he’s dying on the ground, bleeding out, and no one knows. You don’t even know what he’s working on and he can’t say; despite your relationship there are still levels in which Hotch’s clearance supersedes your own and the need-to-know red tape keeps you out. Afraid to close your eyes and dream of his unseeing, you stare at the blades of the ceiling fan whirling lazily overhead of the bed you usually share with him.

“I miss you,” you whisper to no one; and you don’t know who you’re talking to anymore.

•

“He’s back?” your heart flutters in your chest, equal parts excited and anxious at the prospect of Aaron’s sudden return. You push off your desk and swivel in your chair to stand, rushing down the hall and leaving Reid behind as you make your way hastily to the conference room.

The door is cracked and a gleeful sound eeks past your lips as his tall frame comes into view. You slip in before anyone else arrives and throw your arms around you. Inhaling deeply, his familiar teakwood scent envelopes you just as his arms do. You move to pull away, but his arms tighten around you.

“A second more,” he whispers, and there’s an edge to his voice.

You write it off to jet lag and sink into his embrace, though you notice how slight he feels against you. Finally, you pull back and cup his face in your hands. The scruff of his beard is prickly and you laugh as you take in his rugged appearance. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with this much facial hair.” You swipe your thumbs over the hair on his lip and he tilts his head, kissing the inside of your hand. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply before lifting them to meet yours. It's then you realize how tired he looks. The bags under his eyes are puffy and purple, almost as if they’re bruised. His forehead is creased, brow furrowed; definitely not how you pictured him upon reuniting.

“Aaron is everything ok—”

“I need you to know I would never hurt you,” he says quickly, interrupting you.

You purse your lips, brow pinching at the sudden admission. As your lips part to speak he directs a pointed look at you, the depths of his brown eyes wavering. “I love you,” his voice cracks, “so much.” He swallows, his throat bobbing as he does so. “Please remember that.”

There’s a hollow feeling in your gut, a chasm opening wide where every anxious and painful thought that you’ve tried to keep buried since he’s been gone begins to claw their way out as a thousand different outcomes play out in front of you. “Aaron, what’s going on?”

He doesn’t answer your question as the rest of the team trickles into the room, sitting at the round table or standing as suspense fills the space. It’s tangible. Everyone’s posture is rigid and tense in anticipation of whatever it is he has to say.

“Seven months ago I made a decision that impacted everyone on this team,” he begins, eyes firm.

Spencer shifts uncomfortably beside you. Rossi leans forward, fingers steepled under his chin.

“As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood,” Hotch continues and your ears prick at the sound of her name. Why would he bring her up? No less, her condition the day you all lost her. You all know this.

“…the doctor’s were able to stabilize her.”

Your lips part but no sound comes out as you raise your eyes to meet his. They meet yours for the briefest of seconds before flitting on to the others.The next words to leave his mouth sound far away, interrupted by the blood now pounding in your eardrums. “She stayed there until she was well enough to travel…given identities…”

There’s a lump in your throat and you feel as though you may choke on it. Air doesn’t seem to be able to bypass it and you have to remind yourself that you can breathe even though it feels like all the oxygen has vacated your lungs.

Penelope is the first to speak. “She’s alive?”

Spencer’s brow quirks as he tries to rationalize what’s being said to him. “We buried her.”

You did. You helped carry the casket. You felt the weight of her dead body and watched it sink into the earth. If that wasn’t her, what the fuck or who the fuck did you actually put in the ground?”

“As I said I take full responsibility for this decision,” Hotch continues, eyes downcast. “If anyone has any issues they should be directed towards me.”

The blood pounding in your ears is deafening. When Hotch looks up, you search his eyes and can’t help wondering if you know him at all. All of the nights you literally made yourself sick from crying and he held your hair back as you dry heaved over the toilet and your body spasmed from the grief of losing your best friend, he’d known that she was alive. For a moment, you think you may be sick right there at the round table at the thought of it all. Derek is speaking, his voice tight with anger but you don’t hear him. Heads turn and the hairs on the back of your neck prickle as a haunting feeling creeps up the back of your spine.

Turning around in your chair, everyone else stands but not you. If you do, you know your knees will buckle and fall out from under you. Spencer and Penelope are on their feet, moving briskly to greet the ghost of Emily.

Except she’s not a ghost. Her skin is not the cold blue-gray pallor of death, but pink and bright, the blood beneath her flesh very much pumping through a heart that’s beating. Her dark brown hair is sleek and shining, her bangs grown out and styled; her part now to the right. You watch her arms fold around Spencer and the way he squeezes her in turn. Penelope follows suit, tears streaming down her cheeks as she smiles widely. Derek stares on, features fixed in a cross between anger and shock. Emily approaches him with apprehension. An apology leaves her lips as she draws him in for a hug and his arms tentatively wrap around her. When she turns to you, your muscles tense. Those deep brown irises flicker back and forth across your face, searching for a reaction. You don’t give her one. Instead, you push past her, avoiding any and all physical contact with her, and dip out of the conference room.

You hear Garcia call your name and Derek shouts about having a case. You don’t care. You bypass your desk, not even bothering to get your purse. Your keys are hanging on a carabiner on your belt loop. Ignoring the elevator, you shove your way through the entrance to the stairs and move down them so quickly you’re surprised you don’t lose your footing and tumble down them. Down and around you go, your footsteps echoing as your heart slams against your ribcage. You slap your badge against the keypad that lets you exit the building, ignoring the greeting from the security guard at the front. As you push through the front doors of the office building, you barely make it to the bushes before you fall to your knees and retch.

•

A car door slams followed by the double beep which locks them. You close your eyes and inhale deeply as you prepare to face him, hands clenching around the sweater you were packing. A tear slips free from your eye as you breathe out and look toward the ceiling, as if the answers to why all of this had to happen are written up there. This is not how your reunion is supposed to be. You’d pictured his homecoming for weeks; thought about the outfit you’d wear to dinner and the lingerie you’d bought to wear just for him when you both got home, opened a bottle of wine, and made up for all of the time lost while he was away. That is how tonight is supposed to go.

Now you’re leaving, and you don’t know if you’ll be coming back.

The lock on the front door jiggles before the gears click into place. It squeaks on its hinges as it swings open. Five beeps follow and you can picture his fingers pressing against each button on the alarm system. His keys clatter as he drops them on the table. As his footsteps edge closer to your bedroom, you count each one. The sound that usually means safety and security, now sends a shiver of anxiety throughout your body.

He appears in the doorway, eyes rife with exhaustion and the bags beneath them puffy and swollen. His cheeks are flushed and his nose is pink, as if he’d been crying. Maybe he had been, god knows you had. His eyes flit between you and the bag you’re packing. His lips part and a small sound of desperation slips past them.

“Baby, please—”

You hold up a hand, curling your fingers into a fist. Your lip curls as you speak. “Don’t,” you breathe. You swallow the lump that quickly forms in your throat as you drop your hand, zipping the bag shut.

The inner corners of his brow draw upward and you can hardly stand to look into his pleading gaze.

“You have to understand—”

“Understand, what? Aaron?” You ask sharply, struggling to hold back the thick hot tears pricking the backs of your eyes.

He places a hand on his hip, fingers tucking back the fold of his unbuttoned shirt as his thumb hooks into his belt; a gesture you’re all too familiar with as he does the same thing with all of his suits. His other hand rises to pinch the bridge of his nose. He pauses, inhaling as he tries to find the words. After a moment, he scrubs a hand over his face and turns his gaze to yours.

“I wanted to tell you so badly,” he says. When he looks at you there are tears in his eyes. “I hated myself, watching the agony this decision put you and the team through. I wanted to tell you and take away your hurt, but I couldn’t. It wouldn’t have been fair to the team. Just because you’re my girlfriend, I can’t—” He turns his hand and slams his hand against the doorframe causing you to flinch. “Dammit!”

Your voice is soft, but sure when you speak. “You can’t bend the rules.”

It’s what you’ve always worried about, both of you. You always knew the job could come first, especially with him being the Unit Chief. You always understood that that meant no preferential treatment and that is something you never would’ve asked him to do. You just never anticipated it happening like this, a complete and total life altering mind fuck.

Aaron drops his hand and it slaps against his thigh in defeat as it falls to his side. “What was I supposed to do?”

You cross your arms over your chest, fingers curling over your biceps to try and still your shaking hair. You hang your head and a curtain of hair falls across your face, “I don’t know, Aaron.”

He kicks off the doorway, moving towards you with his hands outstretched. It happens without thinking, the way you flinch away. Pain flashes in his eyes and you feel as though you’ve been punched in the stomach the way it’s suddenly hard to breathe.

His hip is close to yours, his body angled away from you. You can feel the weight of his gaze on your shoulder as he looks down. “Don’t do this,” he whispers.

Your lip quivers, chin wobbling in response to the tears you’re trying so desperately to hold back. “I have vacation I’d been saving.” You pick up your bag and throw it over your shoulder, not daring to look up at him because you know if you do you’ll shatter into a thousand shards of glass at his feet.

As you move toward the door, you pause. For a split second, you entertain the thought of dropping your bag, running across the room he’d chased you around so many times before, and throwing yourself around him. You consider all the things you want to say and scream and cry about; all of your anger, sadness, betrayal, grief, and love. You crave him so terribly in that moment because his have always been the arms you’ve run to when things become too much to bear.

Instead, your chin dips toward your shoulder as you speak, but you don’t raise your eyes to meet his. If you do, you don’t think you’ll be able to leave. “My gun and badge are in the safe.”

As you make your way down the hallway, you have to bite your knuckles to stifle a sob just as you hear one leave his lips from the bedroom.

You don’t turn back.

[forget-me-nightingale]

My favourite things about S7 of the Dragon Prince (part 1)

Because I need to let my emotions OUT and I know there is a lot of people here who will understand that<3 And also because I need to thank @dragonprinceofficial for creating a masterpiece of a show and because I am so sad there's so many posts about being disappointed in the season - like sure, it might've not been perfect, but it was SO GOOD and there was SO MUCH WORK put into it that I just HAVE to show how much love I have in my heart for these characters, this story and this entire show Part two will be posted tomorrow<3 1: DEATH ALIVE

Ethari's deep "Hmm…" at the beginning, his new design, the denialllll

Runaan being so stubborn about getting back to Ethari and ALLEN PICKING HIM UP BRIDAL STYLE THAT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD

Also Runaan lying in bed shirtless groaning and whimpering was not something that was on my 2024 bingo list but ho boy am I glad

Callum's grief after he got back to Katolis-- they showed it SO WELL, the heavy breathing, and then the mumbled "Soren, what happened…?" and Soren's voice breaking as well at the "There was nothing I could do!" as he breaks down crying that was SUCH GOOD PERFORMANCE FROM BOTH OF THEM SO RAW AND GENUINE AND EMOTIONAL Also the RELIEF Callum must've felt when he saw Soren after fearing that everyone died hgjdhgk you can literally see it in his eyes

Huge Aaravos just sexily lounging around next to the bones of his archdragon archenemy

Astrid going "I never promised." was so badass

Ezran going "We have to find Sol Regem and destroy him" after giving several speeches on how he wants to end the cycle of violence and just stop it all made me laugh so hard-- Like don't get me wrong, I know he's a kid and he's hurt and angry and that his reaction's justified but I just heavily dislike his character, and the fact that he threw his entire philosophy away the moment his emotions took over only strengthened it lmao

Aanya has such a gorgeous soft voice, I love listening to it SO much

Claudia and Terry's little flinch as Aaravoss gestured to show "an Archdragon's bite" hgfjdghjdfk

THE THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS AS HE WALKS like- It shows so well how MASSIVE he is in that form I love

THE FASHION SHOW AARAVOS PULLS OUT GDFKHGDFJK "Startouch may be too dazzzling, don't you think?" and the way he turns towards them with this flirtatious ass smirk jkdgfhkg

"I know you like Earthblood, Claudia" 😭

Runaan's moment of silence before going "NOT. ONE. MINUTE. LONGER." and the dramatic zooms on his face had me IN STITCHES

Also him going "Katolis…? Is t… is that necessary?" he's probably having like PTSD flashbacks thinking about that dungeon and the pain of Viren putting his soul in the coin 😭😭 and also Jonathan's voice as he says it is SO SMOOTH and velvety and I'm in love with that voice so much, I could listen to it for hOURS

We finally het to see Aaravos' human form and it's INCREDIBLE, and the fact that the first thing he does is to fake being injured is so Aaravos of him LMAO

Also I wonder how did Callum not recognize his voice??? I'm sure he thought a LOT about what happened when Aaravos possessed him that one time, and he sure had a lot of time to hear how he sounds like, and besides-- a voice like that would not be easy to forget even he Callum didn't have such traumatic memories attached to it lol

And the fact that Aaravos literally said Sol Regem killed his daughter :(( He literally never lies, not even under a disguise

The famous shot with Runaan and Rayla looking at Katolis<3 it was so nice to finally see it in the actual show

"Are you not the elf who killed my father, the King of Katolis?" "…I am." it was so soft and sad gdhjghfdjkghjfdk And then him WILLINGLY getting on his knees and putting his hands behind his back 🥺

2: TRUE HEART

I love the theme that sounded playing when Aaravos' team was approaching The Puzzle House, like it was the main theme but with like- circus undertones? Or these little music box rhythmic parts and clock ticking? Very cool vibes especially with how the house was portrayed in the little comic, with this almost steampunkish robotic inventions, LOVED it

"You don't have to ask!" I'm not a HUGE Rayllum shipper but oh my God that was such a sweet moment And then Callum going "That was salty" and Rayla chuckling "the tears" njgfdhjgjfjdd

Runaan having his wrists chained up AGAIN in the Banther Lodge give that man A BREAK

THE SCENE where Stella attacks the guards and they stumble over each other and Runaan just looks at them with pity and the camera zooms in on him I HAD TO PAUSE JUST I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD, the comedy of that moment was just 👌 And then Runaan going "hello there" 🥹 he's so soft and then calling out Rayla's name and smiling up at her???? hgfjkghjkdf

"Stop right there, Rayla! Part of me wishes I hadn't seen you… But my eyesight is perfect." so dramatic gdhg I love him And they Rayla's dark and low "Then just look away, Soren." was SO badass And poor Runaan having to hide behind her-- he's probably so upset that he can't fight them off on his own

"But Ez, this is exactly the cycle of violence you fought so hard to end! You forgave Zubeia!" "What?" "Who do you think sent Runaan to kill Dad?" EXACTLY WHAT I WAS SAYING And then he STILL throws it away and orders the soldiers to arrest him fjkhg I'm sorry if I'm upsetting the Ezran fans but I have such beef with his character LMAO

Soren desperately yelling "RICKETY SNICKERS" at the top of his goddamn lungs during their fight must've been SO WEIRD for Rayla without any context LMAOOO And Runaan giving her tips to help in that way at least was SO COOL I LOVED THAT "He overextends himself, Rayla! His front leg!" We finally got that father/daughter mentor/student duo LET'S GOO

Terry giggling at the sight of the carousel made me giggle and smile so much too it was SO BEYOND WHOLESOME AND THEN AARAVOS ACTUALLY HAVING GENUINE FUN ON THE RIDE AS WELL LMAOOO it was SO FUNNY but also SO wholesome at the same time I loved it SO MUCH

And also it was very very cool to see the carousel ride itself after seeing it in the House of Riddles comic - like, it's one thing seeing it there on paper, but it's a whole different thing to see it actually animated, it was AWESOME

"Oh no, are you okay??" "Okay?! I was confined to a tiny sphere in the mouth of a clam at the bottom of the sea for thee long, lonely centuries. That… was the most fun I've had in AGES!" THE EWAY HE LAUGHS AND GIGGLES like you can hear the genuine joy in his voice oh my God I was smiling so much We got a glimpse of how he would've been if Leola hadn't died and he could just play and goof around with her 😭

The Dragon Prince just casually mentioned a character practicing self-cannibalism and didn't even linger on it for a SECOND before moving on LMAO

Aanya shooting at Runaan actually got me SO SCARED especially when Rayla threw himself in front of him frjgkfdh please don't stress me out like that Thank God it was just his arm that was nicked but the man CAN'T GET A BREAK

And holy shit the expression on Ezran's face when he lifted his hand to give Aanya the signal, it was like-- so sad and hesitant, like "don't make me do this", the artists captured the expression SO WELL

And the lighting and the scene and the music that played during the scene when Rayla, Runaan and Callum ran to the boat was SO GORGEOUS-- like, the contrast between the golden light of the setting sun and the deep blue of the shadows, how Ezran's face and the soldiers were in the shadows but the rest was bathed in the light, and the scenery and the sky was just so breathtaking

Also Runaan caught Callum when he jumped in the boat 🥹

3: THE GLITTERING BONES

The Sunfire soldiers chanting "Queens of Mercy" was so epic

Soren going "You're the bread" at Corvus to try and lighten the mood at least a little bit and it completely not working broke my heart, he's trying so hard

And then Ezran snapping even at Zym??? Bro.

Claudia doing the nose tap thing again!!!!!!❤️ It's back!! And she was so happy giggling and laughing and everything, like yesss let a girl be happy and goofy

The Garden of Innocents was soooooo gorgeous

Aaravos saying "There is nothing to be afraid of, Claudia" as she reanimates the unicorn bones 🥹 Was that a callback to him saying "there's nothing to fear" to Leola or am I reaching too far And THEN him saying "Well done" gjdfhfgdkj

"You remind me of her" THERE WE GOOOO he has such a soft spot for her "…and silly"❤️

That scene when Janai snaps at Karim!!!!!! The performance was SO GOOD, the raw FRUSTRATION and helplessness and anger and desperation in her voice!!! Especially that "How many times do I have to attempt to spare you?!" line??????

4: UNFINISHED BUSINESS

Callum, Runaan and Rayla doing the ritual dance all together was so beautiful already, and then Runaan's "I dreamt of this" gfdjkghdk

"Yeah, but… You'll want a minute with Ethari, right? A minute alone…..?" and Runaan being quiet and hesitating for a bit and then just going "…. yes. :)"

Okay so the Reunion scene-- I'm a huge Ruthari shipper and Runaan is my absolute favourite character in the show (if you couldn't tell by now), along with Ethari, so you can imagine the state I was in at that scene--- Like- First the way Ethari looks at Runaan in the reflection, cause he's probably so used to doing it to see if Rayla came back to him???? And calling him his "beloved phantom" and Runaan's expression changing to confusion- you can literally SEE him smiling softly at the "hello, my beloved" but as Ethari says "phantom" his expression immediately changes and it's portrayed SO WELL GJDHGDJ

"I see you everywhere…. Hear your voice when you aren't there… But I am BEGGING you, Runaan, leave me be. Let me let you go." "But I made you a promise." "And I long to make peace with its breaking." That was such an absolutely gorgeous piece of dialogue, and I've already talked about how I love Runaan's voice, but Ethari's as well??? The accent, the slight rasp, the kind of rough-iness in it, the hard 'r's, like oh my God, every time he speaks I am just enchanted

And THEN Ethari flinching away as Runaan touches him cause he was so sure that it's just his imagination-- and Runaan kissing his hand-- and the "It's me. I'm home." sounded SO GORGEOUS and if you look at Ethari's lips you can see them trembling cause he's about to cry--- AND THEN THE KISS OF COURSE I WAS CRYING SO MUCH WE'VE WAITED LITERAL SIX YEARS FOR THIS DAMN KISS CAUSE RUNAAN GOT IMPRISONED IN THE FIRST SEASON WHICH CAME OUT IN SEPTEMBER 2018 SIX YEARS IN AZKABAN

And the music that plays during the kiss too? ;_; I need the entire soundtrack out ASAP

RAYLA PANICKING ABOUT RUNAAN CATCHING HER AND CALLUM KISSING GFJDHGJDHGD She almost threw him off the damn branch LMAO

Ethari going "Not another word, Rayla!" as she starts to try and make her problems smaller gjddhkgd "Your family is here for you" 🥹🥹🥹

The slow realization I had of why exactly Aaravos needed Terry to find a BIG feather and a SMALL feather The way the creators intentionally made it set in so slowly And Terry going "I SAID STOP" with this pure RAGE in his voice, and Aaravos just flicking him off with a single gesture

"She would do anything to return to them, but she can't." subtle reference to Leola again And also Aaravos' coldness in that scene hfjgkdghjj no wonder Terry was terrified

The fact that Runaan has a title of "Master of Blades"?? I love it so much

"Rayla yet lives." "You speak the name of a Ghost." "I SPEAK THE NAME OF MY DAUGHTER." !!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️

The way Rayla holds her hands over Runaan and Ethari's joined ones as she appears gfjdhk I love the Moonfam so so so so much

"To invoke the ritual, one of you must bind your fate to hers." "Both of us, Keeper." SAID WHILE HOLDING HANDS AND LOOKING AT EACH OTHER SO LOVINGLY JFDKGHJKD

Terry telling Aaravos "You're sick." HOHOHOHOOOO and the way Aaravos circles him like a predator around his prey was so scary

Ethari putting a hand on Runaan's shoulder and Runaan covering it with his own to reassure him gdjfhgdfjk

Rayla calling the four assassing by names and their names being spoken in general for the FIRST time in the series--- I was so happy and surprised to hear it And the references to the pledge they made so long ago in the first season 🥹

"A life for a life… is that justice?" the way Rayla said it was so nice and soft and sad and jdgfhk

RUNAAN HUGGING RAYLA OUT OF HIS OWN INITIATIVE GHDFJGHDJKGHK

I was literally SO SCARED when the Keeper snapped and revealed he was Ram's father, I literally whimpered out loud cause I was SO FREAKING WORRIED that they won't get through to him and he won't unghost her I was STRESSING

And then Rayla just crying in Callum's arms??? 🥺🥺

[omegamoo]

i genuinely feel really really deranged about the scott cleo pearl teamup with impulse hanging out. like. like

okay i think that, from the perspective of a guy who mainly watches scott, one of the fascinating things about the life series is his relationships with the divorce quartet. while ofc theres a ton of fandom focus on the flower husbands, and lots of in-series references and a huge impact on both of them, cjimmy and cscott have largely gone their separate ways.

but scott, pearl, and cleo? GOOD GOD. the life series for c!scott is this revolving door cycle of loving and hurting between those three - and martyn but thats another post. scott and pearl do everything for each other in Last life. they are the dynamic duo of all time. they're strategic, they're strong. and they do the same thing with cleo when she joins the group. scott is would do anything for them - the boogeyman curse is RIGHT THERE. this: the loving.

i think in some ways double life can be understood by the widow's alliance in third life. when neither scott or cleo can find their soulmate, they choose each other. when their soulmates finally appear, it's too late, because there's nothing there except the echoes of teaming in last life. they're not an alliance right now, there's no reason why they should be. and scott just won, just dealt with killing everyone he knows and having that blood on his hands. he is at the most toxic part of his arc, and he is not afraid to hurt pearl and justify himself when she hurts him. he loves cleo. he is hurting pearl. he loves pearl, still, though i think - he hasn't forgotten last life. i just think he doesn't know what to do with that.

you can dig into all kinds of compartmentalization of scott's feelings here - he kills ren to win in last life but also in revenge for ren killing pearl. he was terrified when he thinks about what happened in third life with jimmy - when jimmy died, he was catatonic, a shadow of his usual self. i think there's a lot of what he does to pearl in dl that stems from this - he can't allow himself to do that again. he can love and love and love, but not if it means he's weak. this is the hurting, and it never stops.

and of course scott's self sacrificial tendencies... i think he still loves pearl at the end, and for him, the biggest show of love is to give up everything. so he gives pearl the win! done and dusted. surely that will fix everything, except it DOESN'T, because pearl doesn't need that from scott. she doesn't need him to kill himself for her - she wants to be able to take back all of that hurt from the season by killing him, even! but she says she forgives him, because she recognizes what that means and what he just did. or because she wants to win, or because she loves him, or whatever. or all of it.

i think the end of secret life showcases that very well. when pearl chases down scott in the finale, she shouts that they have unfinished business, that he still owes her something that he took from her in double life. she says she forgave him at the time, but she didn't really - they haven't talked. that hurt still lingers, still aches, is still festering.

and now they're TEAMED UP AGAIN. because they love each other. because they don't know what to do without each other. because scott and cleo will choose each other over and over and over again, because scott loved pearl infinitely and endlessly in last life and was still willing to give her the win in double life. because out of everyone, at this point, they know each other best. AND THEY EVEN SAY THAT. "out of everyone, you know what we're like." is it a healthy decision? no. they can't communicate anymore, they have all of this festering between them and scott and cleo are pretty toxic and unlikely to apologize... and they can't stop bringing it up, because it's this elephant in the room.

it makes me sick. these guys are bound by the red dog chain of fate. they can't stop loving each other and because of it they will never stop hurting each other. what the FUCK

[sn0wp1anets]

i think about joels mcc26 loredump every single day i live i cant remember exacrly but basically w*lbur makes fun of his accent so then hes like 'my grandfather has sued for less' (which like ?? ) and understandably everyone is like joel what so then hes like 'i cant say too much but some people made fun of my parents so he got them fired from their jobs and threatened them and wrote them letters' (i dont remember the story exactly but something like that) and so then everyones kinda like haha ok joel and then just for zero reason joel goes 'yeah so he ran for mp in selby' (for context mp is a member of the parliament in the uk and selby is a town in yorkshire) and then his team is like um ok joel what happened to not being able to give too much information and then joel tries to justify himself by giving even more information (???) by saying it was 40 years ago and so now everyones like ok joel youre making it worse now. joel then attempts to justify himself again saying he doesnt remember what party his grandfather was in and then CUTS HIMSELF OFF TO GO 'oh wait yeah i do! it was libdem!' meanwhile grians screaming at him to stop. and then his whole team kinda makes fun of him and cpk is like 'hey so joel youre basically doxxing yourself' snd the whole time joels just fucking giggling

[mockerycrow]

No cuz I'm totally having brain rot of reader and either Price or Gaz. The reader is such a control freak that they cannot justify letting anyone do anything that they don't agree with, until Price or Gaz just come in and fuckin manhandle the reader into submission or something. Bros, I... this got me feelin some type of way 😩

this is a ramble, but!!! my brain couldn’t stop. — PRICE X GN!READER!

[IMPLIED PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP + DOM!PRICE (DOM/SUB DYNAMICS). NO ACTUAL SEX BUT VERY SUGGESTIVE.]

You looked down at the unsorted papers across the desk in front of you, your nerves running high and your stomach twisting. “They never fucking listen.” You mutter, leaning down to write an edit to your newly formatted plan. You had suggested a near fool-proof plan to the team for the upcoming mission that’s happening in a week—it only had one flaw, but it was a flaw you kept insisting that could be overlooked! The building blowing up was not the worst case scenario—

You hear someone knock on the door to your barracks. “Come in!” You call without looking up from your papers. You hear your door swing open and with just hearing the hefty sound of a boot, you already know who it is. You don’t turn around as you sigh and toss the pen back down onto the papers. “John, I honestly don’t really know why you guys aren’t listening to me,” You begin to ramble. “Yes, a building blowing up is bad but is it the worst? I feel as if there’s other bad things that could happen, worse than the building blowing up—“

You gasp as you feel his warm body press against yours. His ungloved hand comes around and gently cupping your throat as his other hand grabs your hip and pulls your hips flush against his, making your head go fuzzy and your words stutter into a stop. Your eyelids flutter shut as you feel him press a kiss to your scalp before he leans in your ear. “Yeah, there you go. All settled down for me now, hm?” John murmurs, amusement lacing his tone.

You shiver when his breath hits your ear, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest. Your lips part for you to speak but you quickly stop when John’s hand squeezes your throat in warning, making a pathetic whimper leave your lips, making him chuckle. It makes your face burn. “I think you’ve been worrying too much, sweetheart,” John retorts, making you lean over the desk, keeping his hips connected to yours. It’s taking every bone in your body to not roll back against him. “Thinking too much. It’s time to change that, don’t you think?”

You nod obediently, so instinctively in fact that you don’t even notice you’re agreeing with him. Your head spins, he lets go of your throat, and then moves his hand to the back of your neck—pressing your face into the desk. Your breathing stutters when his boot knocks your legs apart and the excited groan that leaves you is nothing less than desperate when John presses his crotch against you once more.

He hums in approval and one of his hands grabs your arm, pinning it to the flat of your back. John’s other hand grabs your hip and easily rocks you back against his cock, making your lower body melt. You must’ve made a noise that you don’t remember making, because you hear John tsk and squeeze your hip with a low voice saying, “Words, darling.”

Your eyebrows furrow for a moment as your lips part and all that comes out is a garbled, “please”. John laughs and moves his hand from your hip to your leg, lifting it and forcing you to put it on the table, exposing your clothed crotch to him—you don’t even whine about the crinkled papers, especially because you know by the time John’s done with you, they’ll be completely ruined. “Good pet.”

[zepskies]

Break Me Down - Part 7

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

AN: I think a lot of you have been waiting on this one…and stick around after the end for something special!

Song Inspo: For this chapter it’s “Can’t Wait” by Foreigner (if you listen to it, you’ll see why).

Word Count: 5,000

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut and feels. That is all.

Part 7: Until Midnight

Two weeks later, you could admit that Ben was frustrating you in a different way than usual. 

You didn’t want to like him, or be indebted to him. But he was different lately whenever the two of you were alone. Especially at night, when the two of you often met in the kitchen. 

It was the one time where he truly seemed to relax, without his men around him. Without the Soldier Boy persona he wore like a fine tailored suit. 

One night, the two of you were once again sitting together in the kitchen after a marathon of all three Hangover movies. Now you each had a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, of which you’d convinced him to try the “Chunky Monkey” so you could have your “Half Baked” brownie pieces and cookie dough to yourself. 

Ben had all but inhaled his, while you were still chipping away at half the pint.

“You still hate me?” he asked.

You paused in delving into a thick piece of brownie to look up at his bearded face, which was deceptively nonchalant. If he was asking you that, then he really did want to know.

Yet it was a harder question to answer than you would’ve thought a couple of weeks ago. You decided to level him with the truth this time.

“Like I said before, I don’t have a personal vendetta against you or anything,” you admitted. 

Ben rose a brow at you. “But you hate me.” 

You sighed. He could be so childish sometimes.

“Have you forgotten that you’re still holding me against my will?” you pointed out. “Presumably until my team can find me, and you can pick them off one by one.”

“You fuckers came at me first,” he countered. “And I haven’t touched you. Hell, I saved you.”

Yes, he had. You couldn’t ignore that fact.

But there were other reasons that he needed to be put in check.

“You’ve killed a lot of fucking people, Ben,” you said. “I can’t imagine how many of them didn’t deserve it. And before you start, collateral damage is not an excuse. It’s murder. You haven’t seemed to care about that, or much of anyone other than yourself and your own amusement.” 

There. Cards on the table.

Ben set down his ice cream on the counter with enough force to rattle his spoon. He crossed his arms at you.

“You’re pretty fucking high and mighty for someone who probably spent the last few years up Vought’s shithole,” he pointed out, shaking his head. “Doing their dirty work. Whatever I did back then, it didn’t end with me. You were part of it too.”

You frowned in annoyance. A hot retort was poised on your tongue.

Whatever he did back then? He’d crashed a skyscraper and killed nineteen people last year! He’d taken out nearly the entire cast of Payback, his old team. However justified he felt about the latter, taking a life was taking a goddamn life!

You wanted to say all that and more…but you paused.

Because he wasn’t exactly wrong, about you at least. You knew you’d done your fair share of shit. And you had taken people out, when you’d needed to.

For self-defense, to stop a criminal, to protect someone…and yes, sometimes, you’d been part of the cleanup crew. Disposing bodies and extracting supes from “unfortunate situations.”

Those times made you feel less than human for being a part of it. And it was the main reason why you’d gotten the courage to quit Vought and join Supe Affairs in the first place…

You frowned at the trail of your thoughts, but his voice soon jolted you out of them.

“Ain’t this a bitch,” said Ben. “If you could, you’d want me dead. Even though I saved you.” 

Your lips pursed. “Dead is a strong word.” 

His angry gaze on you was unrelenting.

“Asleep is as good as dead for me.”

You stared back at him in resignation. Fair enough.

You couldn’t refute that, but you also didn’t know what he wanted from you. He was implying that he wanted you not to hate him, but he wasn’t willing to let you go either.

You got up to put your spoon in the sink, mostly so you wouldn’t have to look at him anymore.

Ben rose from his seat. You felt him approach from behind. You still tensed up as his arm reached around your form to drop in his own spoon. His arm withdrew, but he stood just behind you, at your side. His hand curled around the edge of the counter.

Letting out a discreet, steadying breath, you turned towards him and met his assessing gaze…but you soon looked away.

It was too much. He was too much. Even his musky cologne was invading your senses, threatening to cloud your judgment.  

Before you could back away, Ben grasped your chin, tilting your face up to him so you couldn’t hide. He heard your pulse picking up with his sensitive ears.

“Well, well. Your heart’s just racing away, baby doll,” he said.

He smirked at the blush rising in your cheeks, despite your defiant gaze. You might’ve said you wanted to put him to sleep, but you definitely didn’t seem to hate him. 

“You know, that offer’s still on the table,” he said. Your brow quirked, and you crossed your arms.

“What offer?”

Ben’s hand slid along to frame your jawline, his thumb sweeping across your reddened cheek.

“I can help you end that little dry spell of yours,” he drawled. “Calm that pretty head and have you sleeping soundly tonight.”

Oh, he’d help you fucking sleep, he thought.

He’d help you not be able to sit on that perfect ass for a week. He’d gladly work you up with fingers, lips, and tongue until you threatened to fucking drown him. Until you were writhing at his touch and singing just for him. Until you begged him to fuck you.

But you just rolled your eyes at his offer with a huff. Maybe you didn’t believe he was serious. Oh, but he fucking was.

Overall, you were a pain in his ass. And you had been from the beginning.

You had a dangerously smart mouth for a woman. Along with a stubborn streak to rival his, and a strangely self-righteous attitude for someone who’d mucked through the bowels of Vought and played a part in that world, just like him. You weren’t so fucking innocent either.

But he could also see that you were trying to be different. You had a conscience. A family and friends and a lot of other things that Ben didn’t have anymore. And maybe never had to begin with…

You claimed to want to bring him down, but you cooked for him, hung out with him, and he could start to believe that you actually enjoyed his company, rather than pretended for self-preservation’s sake.

You were a fucking conundrum that he couldn’t totally figure out. And all the while, you didn’t seem to realize how much of a temptation you were. 

It didn’t matter if it was that sexy red dress at the club or these plain-ass jeans you were wearing. His hands itched to mold to your curves, squeeze and tease and familiarize himself until he could find out how glorious it would be to damn near suffocate between your thighs.

Your pretty blush, however, was spreading down your neck. Ben wondered how far he could make it go as he glanced down your V-neck top. His smile edged into a grin.

“I’ll admit, maybe I haven’t been the best host,” he said, injecting some charm. “You gotta be bored as all hell by now.”

You swallowed as his hand moved down the side of your neck. His fingers slid into your hair, but he kept the smooth pad of his thumb brushing across your cheek. You didn’t want to admit that it felt nice—and electrifying at the same time.

His touch was raising goosebumps down the back of your neck, tingling down your spine.

“You might be projecting,” you managed to quip. “Is the conveyor belt of prostitutes and drugs finally losing its appeal?”

You studied his face, his smirk, and you had a feeling you had deduced correctly: he was bored too. But now you knew why he didn’t want you to hate him.

He just wanted to fuck you.

That thought wasn’t so surprising. It seemed this man could jump into bed with just about anything with a pulse. But it still made a tendril of heat lick up your spine and your face flush.

You should’ve just pushed him away already…but his nearness was mucking up your good sense.

The truth was, you weren’t afraid of him. Not anymore. And maybe you didn’t hate him.

Maybe…

“Well, what’s it gonna be?” he asked you.

Your lips parted, halting on a reply.

Ben smirked. His hand tightened in your hair, and he finally began to lean down.

But your breath hitched. You instinctively pressed your hands against his chest before he could kiss you, a firm push.

“Ben,” you uttered.

He stopped, looking down at you with knitted brows. He just thought you were being stubborn now, a fucking tease even…

Until he saw the frisson of fear in your eyes.

He quirked a resigned smile. Stroking your cheek one last time, he let you go.

“All right,” he said. “Maybe next time.”

Your heart was hammering like a Phil Collins drum solo inside your chest as you made your way back to your room.

What the hell, what the hell.

He’d teased and flirted with you before, but not like this. It wasn’t totally obnoxious or disgusting, like he’d genuinely been trying to persuade you. He’d even looked disappointed when you stopped him. And he’d allowed you to stop him.

(And you resisted a shudder at the contrasting memory of Antonio.)

When you were back in your room, you released a relieved sigh. Your hands trembled on the doorknob.

But it wasn’t fear that’d made you nervous with Ben. Not exactly. It was the insane part of you that actually wanted to take him up on his offer.

Fuck, you thought, raising a palm to your still-warm forehead. I really must be crazy. Or sick. Sick in the head.

Or it had been a stupidly long time since you’d gotten laid.

“Seriously, tell me,” he’d said once, still with a deceptively light grip on your chin. The pad of his thumb brushed your full lower lip, making your breath hitch. He glanced down at your mouth, then back into your eyes.

“How fucking long’s it been since that pretty pussy’s been touched? ‘Cause in my opinion, that’s a damn shame.”

The memory caused a delicate tingle in your lower belly, pulsing between your legs. You took in a deep, calming breath through your nose.

That’s it, you thought. I’m done with this.

So you tried for a cold shower first. For the record, you locked the bathroom door before you undressed and hopped into the shower. As the water beat against your back and you dutifully lathered soap on your skin, you couldn’t help imagining his heavy hands running over your body.

Fuck. You frowned and quickly dragged yourself out of the shower.

For a few minutes, you were too antsy to get dressed. You paced your small room wearing only a towel, not even thinking really. Just frustrated beyond belief (sexually or otherwise). The truth was, you needed something, or you were going to implode. 

With a heavy sigh, you laid in bed on your side, still wrapped in your towel. You wrapped your hair up in a loose bun and closed your eyes, just taking a few moments to breathe evenly.

Your knees were folded up, almost to your chest. But you relaxed and let your thighs fall open. With a tentative hand, you decided to slide up between your thighs, just teasing the seam of your pussy.

Then with a sigh, you delved between your folds and teased yourself, to start with. Warmth grew in your lower belly, and you sighed louder when you slid a finger inside. You were wet already just with this, and your sighs turned to shallow breaths, and even a moan once heat flooded through your core, and you were getting close…

But a knock at the door just had to startle you.

“Hey, sweetheart. You there?”

Your eyes widened with a gasp, and you moved your hand back to your thigh. Oh shit.

It was Ben. Of course it was fucking Ben.

“Ah, w-wait a minute,” you replied. You scrambled out of bed to lock the door before he tried to come in.

But just your luck, he cracked it open just as you got there. You were met with his handsome face.

His brows rose, his lips then curving when he looked down at you. Or more specifically, you clad in only a towel. You tightened it up on reflex, with a hand on the twisted part at your chest.

“Excuse me,” you said in annoyance. “I don’t remember inviting you in.”

His mouth twitched at a deeper grin.

“It’s nothing major. I just had to ask you something,” he said, with an air of nonchalance that only made you suspicious.

Your lips pressed together as you rose an expectant brow.

“Okay, ask,” you said.

Ben reached for your hand, the one holding your towel together.

“Can I see this hand?”

You yelped and secured the towel with your other hand while he examined the one he held.

“What’s your problem?” you asked, with real irritation now. Ben ignored you in favor of staring at your hand, specifically the pads of your fingers. Then his gaze cut to you slyly.

He held your middle and index finger up to his nose, with an obscene inhale.

Your eyes grew wide as your heart stuttered. He did not just…

And Ben smirked.

“I think you’re the one with the fucking problem,” he said knowingly. He took a step forward, but you stepped back. Unfortunately, that just brought your back against the doorframe. Your mouth went dry when you again looked up at him.

“I don’t know what—”

He stopped you before you could deny it further.

“You think I couldn’t fucking hear you?” he asked.

You bit your lip. Oh God.

His brows ran even higher, his smirk ever deeper. His lust-ridden eyes raked over you, but they soon met yours again. His thumb ran down the inside of your wrist, over your quickening pulse point.

“I know you’re frustrated. It’s been a while, huh?” he said. “Believe me, I know the fucking feeling. But I can take care of that little problem for you. Take care of you.”

You took in a tremulous breath. His heady voice was a curse, reverberating through your chest and running straight down between your legs, warm and pulsing. He raised your chin to make you look up at him.

“You don’t have to like me for that, do you?” he asked.

It was as honest an offer as you were ever going to get. You had to give it to him though, in this, he was a good goddamn actor. He seemed to have figured out exactly what it would take to soften your resolve.

In fact, he fucking crumbled it.

You released a shuddering breath, and tugged him into your room by his shirt. With a hand behind his neck, you pulled him down into your hungry lips.

That kiss was warm and heady, fueled with a passion that only waiting and wanting could create.

Ben took the invitation to heart, grabbing your hips and already bunching the fabric of your towel. It was thin, and he felt the soft give of your curves underneath. He hoisted you up into his arms.

While a normal man might’ve struggled, you knew it was effortless for him. You willingly wrapped your legs around his waist and held his face with both hands. You broke the kiss for a second so you could brush his hair back and made sure he looked into your eyes this time.

“I don’t hate you,” you told him between panting breaths. “I should, but I don’t.”

And that was the God’s honest truth.

Ben paused at that. He roamed your face, maybe judging if he believed you or not.

Then, his mouth curved, and with one hand he reached back to slam your bedroom door shut. It shook on its hinges, but he didn’t wait for it to settle as he walked you to the bed and laid you there beneath him. Your hair fell out of its messy bun and fanned out on the pillow.

Ben gazed down at you, enjoying the sight of you all laid out for him. You were already breathing shallowly, your beautiful eyes bright with anticipation and wild desire. They were honest, and he liked that he finally knew what you were thinking.

He claimed a tight grip on your smooth thighs, parting them so he could find his way in between. He moved his way up to claim your lips next. They were plush and pliant under his.

You sighed against his mouth, diving a hand into his soft hair and running a hand down to the buttons of his shirt. He stopped you and all but tore it off himself.

You blinked in surprise, and then giggled a little at his impatience. But it allowed you to explore the new expanse of golden tan skin, down his neck, over his firm chest and muscular arms.

He relished in it for a moment—your touch. Your hands were soft and warm, and you looked to be genuinely enjoying yourself.

He smirked at that, but he grabbed your wrists before they could venture too much farther than the trail of hair leading below his belt. He trapped them against the bed on either side of your head, and you raised your brows at him with an annoyed little frown. Ben had to chuckle.

“Did I say you could touch me yet?” he said. You met him with a challenging tilt of your chin.

“Who says you get to make all the rules?” you asked. Your calf slid up between his legs, brushing insistently against his already rock-hard length. Ben let out something between a grunt and a moan, and didn’t realize that his grip on your arms was starting to get more than bruising.

You winced, with a pained sound caught in your throat. “Ben, you’re gonna break me.”

He amended his grip immediately, frowning at himself. He knew how to control his goddamn strength, even in moments like this (usually). Maybe he was too fucking excited to finally have you beneath him.

But he soothed his thumbs over your wrists and heeded the tug of your hands down to your waiting kiss. He braced an arm above your head and all but devoured you, slipping his tongue past your lips.

He kissed you like a man starving. Like you’d never been kissed in your life, and it was all you could to keep up with his demands.

Eventually he burned a wet trail from your lips to your jaw, down the column of your neck. He inhaled your floral soap, a scent that had been driving him crazy for days.

He sucked hard behind your ear, and you gasped, thought you were going to see stars.

Unconsciously you gripped at his hair, tugging more harshly than you meant to. But by the pleased sound he made against your skin, you figured he didn’t mind.

Ben soothed a heavy hand up your side and reached between you to untie your flimsy towel. And you let out a slightly shaky breath when he took in your fully naked form for the first time.

“Hmm,” his lips slipped into a grin. “I knew it. Fucking beautiful.”

You couldn’t help but blush, but you didn’t quite know what to say. Ben noticed; it wasn’t too often that he had you speechless.

Amused, he thumbed at your lower lip once more, making you smile almost shyly. (He kind of liked that too.)

And he finally touched you, brushing a hand between the valley of your breasts before palming at one of them. You sighed in appreciation, then moaned as his lips found the other one, his tongue swirling languidly around your nipple.

You arched into his touch, gripped into every groove and dip of muscle in his arms, especially when his fingers rolled and pinched just hard enough on the other nipple.

Your thighs pressed together between the cage of his legs, trying to find friction.

Ben noticed. He let one hand sooth down your belly, half pinning you down as he continued his relentless exploration. You wanted to touch him too, but right now he wasn’t letting up. Everywhere he touched and kissed and sucked set your skin on fire, and enhanced the flood between your legs.

“Ben,” you panted into his ear. If you weren’t allowed to find out what he liked yet (though you had several ideas), then you wanted him to touch you. 

“Be fucking patient,” he said with a chuckle. “I know what the fuck I’m doing.”

You had no doubt of that. But you were becoming impatient.

“Yeah? Am I gonna be as old as you before we get to it?” you teased. Ben glanced up at you, but seeing your smirk, his own grew.

“All right you little shit,” he muttered. He moved up to claim your smart-ass lips, swallowing your giggle as he took a firm grip of your hair.

His other hand, meanwhile, slid up the back of your thigh to grip a nice handful of your ass. He ground his clothed dick into your core and made you both moan.

He slipped a hand up the inside of your thigh and brushed between your legs, making you quiver with anticipation.

He smiled and glanced down.

“Finally, something I recognize in this century,” he remarked. “A nice bush.”

Your brows raised high, both in surprise and slight embarrassment. No one had ever given you that particular compliment before. But you did pride yourself on being neatly trimmed.

“What?” you still uttered.

“Women are so damn waxed nowadays. Feels like I’m fucking a mannequin,” he said.

“Oh, yeah.” You giggled as something occurred to you. “I’m assuming you encountered some bare landing strips on your tour of Brazil.”

He snorted in response. “One girl actually tried to get me on the waxing table. Something about a ‘manzilian.’”

You couldn’t help it. You pictured how confused he must’ve been at that particular offer. How damn near offended (and possibly intrigued).

And you laughed genuinely so hard that you covered your eyes as they teared up.

It made Ben smirk on reflex, feeling pleased that he achieved that kind of reaction out of you. 

“You tapped out on that one, huh?” you asked, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye.

Ben shrugged. “Wasn’t so bad, actually.”

At that, you laughed even harder. Oh, how you wished you could’ve seen that. 

Ben quirked an amused brow at you.

“You laughin’ at me, sweetheart?” he warned. He reached between your legs while you were distracted, and thick fingers slipped between your wet folds. You yelped in surprise, but then moaned in pleasure as his thumb found your already sensitive clit.

But he, in fact, knew how to take care of you. His thick digits explored your channel and rubbed persistently against that spongey part near the back, slipping in and out with ease, and circling deliberately around your clit until your inner walls squeezed around his hand.

All the while, you held on tight to his shoulders and shuddered at the warmth cresting deep inside you.

“That’s it, baby,” he said, with a clenching hand in your hair. “Squeeze the shit out of me. Come all over my fucking hand, and then I’ll consider filling you up to the fucking brim.”

With a long and keening moan, you came apart, hot and wet over his fingers. 

“Shit. That’s a good girl,” he praised with a nod. He stroked inside you a couple more times before he withdrew his glistening hand.

You held onto his other one as you panted for breath. “Fuck.”

“Fucking right,” he said smugly.

You rolled your eyes, but you still smiled as you sat up and went for his belt. You were surprised he hadn’t fully undressed himself sooner, but he sat up and let you do it.

The two of you knelt on the bed as the belt came free, followed by his pants and underwear and socks (he’d long ago kicked off the shoes). His smug smirk came back now that he was in his full glory, so to speak.

Another blush heated your face. You’d seen him like this once before, but there had been…a lot going on that time.

This time you had him all to yourself. Your canvas to explore. You started with kisses down his neck, like he’d done to you, biting and sucking though you couldn’t leave any marks on his skin.

Not fair, you thought in disappointment, but at least you were eliciting some pleased and guttural sounds the further down you went. And then you took his hard, velvety cock in your hands.

He was big enough that you were maybe a little concerned, but not enough to deter you as you teased him with your soft hands, then squeezed and caressed experimentally. He gripped your hips tight.

“Now who’s taking a fucking eternity,” he gritted out. He encouraged you to lie back and raised your hips. You found purchase on his shoulders as your eyes met with his, and after a beat, you smiled and gave a short nod.

Ben aligned himself at your entrance and, slowly as he could manage, pushed inside you. You cried out as he stretched you, filled you deep and bottoming out with mangled moans from both of you.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “You feel so fucking good already.”

You managed to smile and run a hand down his chest. “Uh, you didn’t ask, but I am on birth control.”

His brows furrowed in realization. “What, the fucking pill?”

His team certainly hadn’t supplied you with that for the past month.

You shook your head. “No. An IUD. It’s fine.”

You couldn’t believe you two were having this conversation when he was literally inside you already.

“What? Thought those died out in the 70s,” he said.

“Well, they came back,” you said impatiently. “Just fuck me, Ben!”

Not one to be told twice, Ben continued by slowly pulling out of you, nearly the entire length of his cock, before pushing back in. It was torturous for him, but he knew you needed the time to adjust. By the third stroke, however, he snapped back into you more forcefully.

It elicited a gasp and pleased shudder out of you. Grinning, he picked up the pace from there and pounded into you at a relentless clip. You held onto his arms for dear life, your nails clawing fruitlessly into his skin. You grabbed his hand when he reached a particularly good angle, moaning his name.

“That’s right, crooner. Soon enough I’ll have you singing my fucking name,” he growled. “Knew I was gonna have you just like this, fucking you raw.”

You moaned in response. His words, his voice, his touch, it was all breaking you down and taking you apart, piece by piece.

Meanwhile, your voice only spurred him on. Letting go of your hand, his reached for your cheek. Then it slid down to your neck.

“You got a safe word, baby girl?” he asked, closing a firm, but playful hand around your throat.

But before he could put much pressure, your eyes flew open. Not in arousal, but in panic. Your hands flew to grasp at his wrist.

“Don’t! Please, don’t.” 

Ben looked down at you, surprised enough to pause in all his movements. He released his hand.

He’d very rarely seen wide-eyed panic in your eyes and in your voice. And you’d never said please. 

But then, even more strange, you got embarrassed.

You looked away from him as you caught your breath. Ben called to you uncertainly, perhaps for the first time using your actual name.

You took in a deep breath and sat up. But instead of pushing him away, like he half-expected, you moved so that you were both on your knees and you were straddling his lap.

Using his shoulders as leverage, you resumed the pace of dipping his still hard cock inside you, making you both groan in relief.

Ben helped you, gripping your hips to bounce you on top of him.

Soon enough, he grunted as that familiar tightening and heat of pleasure started to make his upward thrusts wild. He knew he was close…

And he snaked a hand between you to roll over your clit, making sure you were going to get there with him.

A deep tremble went through your lower belly, tightening your inner walls around him impossibly tight as you started to come. Then he followed, finally spilling up and into you.

His arms came around your waist like steel bands as you relaxed on top of him, panting for breath and holding onto his shoulders for dear life.

You gazed down into his eyes, and then his growing, triumphant smirk. It triggered your own wry smile.

And you had to wonder, What the hell did I just do?

AN: Was it as good for you as it was for me? 😏

But ok, seriously, I'm a bit self-conscious when it comes to writing smut, so I genuinely hope you enjoyed the ride lol.

(@waynes-multiverse You probably won't see this for a while, but our convo about the Brazilian wax made it into this chapter. 🤣)

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Check out this lovely moodboard created by @chernayawidow — specifically for this story!

I am obsessed:

She also takes requests, so just message her!

Next time:

You called his name again and took his face with both hands.

“Wherever you are in your mind right now, you’re here with me. Stay with me!” you raised your voice. His skin was getting really hot.

You gasped and had to let go of him when it threatened to burn you. His chest started to glow and hum. Your eyes widened, and finally, so did his.

Keep Reading: PART 8

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