#stop fucking forcing nonbinary people into a new binary

[rjalker]

it's so clear that when most people say "transmasculine" they mean all trans people assigned female at birth, and that when they say "transfeminine" they mean all trans people assigned male at birth, regardless of our actual gender or how we want to present ourselves. They literally use them as synonyms for what gender you were assigned at birth, but now UNO reversed.

And since they literally never bother to talk about any other kinds of trans people besides transfeminine and transmasculine ones, they are making it incredibly clear that if we don't misgender ourselves to jump into one of those binary boxes, then as far as they are concerned we aren't actually trans and have no issues worth talking about, because we don't exist.

They literally cannot even be assed to add "and nonbinary people" to their posts about the entire trans community. Because they think saying "transmascs and transfems" is inclusive of the whole community. Because they'd rather die than not force nonbinary people into another binary.

They're so hellbent on this transmasc / transfem binary they don't even include the trans men and trans women who specifically do Not identify as transmasc or transfem. Because they want to pretend The Gender Binary 2.1 is progressive this time.

You can say "nonbinary people". It won't fucking kill you. You can include nonbinary people in the conversation about the entire fucking trans community without misgendering us.

What part of the word "nonbinary" do you think means it's okay for force us all into yet another? fucking?? binary???

[genderqueerdykes]

as a nonbinary person i'm starting to have thoughts about identifying as both transfem and transmasc - ordinarily I would just identify myself as agender and transneutral. but. because people (shitheads) have increasingly been using "AMAB/AFAB" and "transfem/transmasc" as new binaries to force me into i'm starting to want to identify with both. because fuck you (not actually you, the world generally) for forcing me into these fucking binaries I never wanted again, right? there are "masculine" things I like and "feminine" things I like and so I'll take both of those things as a huge middle finger to these people solidarity w/ my intersex transfem transmasc siblings - a transneutral agender person

hello there!! thanks for stopping by!

i definitely get what you mean- basically, every few months or years people try to invent a new physical sexbinary, whether it's AMAB/AFAB, tma/tme, or now transfem/transmasc, it's never actually that black and white and these terms do not refer to those things at all whatsoever

it took me a long time to get the gunk out of my head about thinking about how i can't be transfeminine because i wasn't diagnosed male at birth, but my journey speaks otherwise. i have been denied the right to be female and feminine because of factors i cannot control and me being feminine/female presenting has always been seen as an act of transgression and transformation

if you feel as though you are personally having to transition into masculinity and femininity due to factors like being intersex, a person of color, a genderqueer, gnc, or misc transsexual person, or anyone else who has been denied the ability to identify as your correct gender, and is having to transition into it, i feel as though the label suits you.

invasive abusive people always want to try to boil things down to agab to try to figure out what you "really are" but it's nosy and unnecessary. you don't know for sure what is going on with every single person who identifies as transfem or transmasc, you can make assumptions but it doesn't make them right!

at the end of the day they are descriptors, n like i said, it is about the act of being denied correct gendering and having to transition in a way to get people to see you correctly, or identifying in a way that is seen as transitional given how you present, and so on.

i hope that made sense, i'm with you, lol! i don't like how people try to invent new binaries every few years to try to figure out what agab everyone is. it's invasive n weird n not necessary!! take care, good luck in your journey! feel free to come back any time

[nerdby]

I feel like it's really important for people to understand that you can be feminine, sexy, and love the color pink and still be an intellectual badass. Even if you're a guy. And personally when I see coquette-ish, girl blogging or pinkcore posts that say things like

Skip a meal,

Cry,

Put a ribbon in my hair,

Go insane in my room

I see it as a criticism of all the things that women need to endure in order to be considered feminine. Its a criticism of traditional heteronormative femininity and of Christofascist purity culture imo.

If you've read the book The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides you might know why I feel that way: It's a book about a family of five teen girls with religious extremist parents. In the book, the Lisbon sisters are the most beautiful girls in their neighborhood and they're hyper-Christian parents lock them up in their house cutting them off completely from any social interaction with the rest of neighborhood after the youngest sister commits suicide. The girls naturally rebel in opposition to this and in the end, all of them end up committing suicide.

It was also made into a movie in the 1990s by Sofia Coppola starring Kirsten Dunst. Both the movie and the book are told from the perspective of the neighborhood boys rather than the Lisbon sisters themselves. This suggests that it is intended as a commentary on the objectification of young girls and how they -- and WOMEN and ENBIES and FEMMES in general -- are often expected to take the blame for mens' bad behavior. Hence the existence of things like dress codes and rape culture.

That's part of what I love about coquette fashion. Like I'll always be nonbinary, but one thing I NEVER talk about is that I originally came out as nonbinary years and years ago. Then I decided that I was a trans guy and part of the reason why that was because people made me feel like I wasn't queer enough. Like even though I'm bisexual and nonbinary, I'm only an honorary queer and my struggles don't matter. And I spent 3 years on T, and the way some binary transgender enforce traditional gender roles is sickening. Like I remember reading once that some guy said his roommate had told him he couldn't be a man because he liked to cook, and the poor dude was having a fucking breakdown over it. The whole time I was just like

Hello! Gordon Ramsey and motherfucking Anthony Bourdain would like a word!

And it just slowly made me hate all of my feminine qualities and myself because I was becoming a misogynist. That's not who I want to be. The coquette movement has helped me a lot, especially mental health wise. Its helped me understand womens' rights more and helped me feel more comfortable with my femininity, and learn to manage money better.

People, don't fucking starve yourselves, though, and don't be fatphobic trash. If you want to lose weight then talk to your doctor about it, look for healthier snacks, start walking or biking places instead of driving. Don't do something stupid, though, and start some new diet trend without talking to your doctor. I went vegan for TWO YEARS without ever talking to a doctor. Do you know what happened?

I gave myself fucking anemia.

But also please stop judging things you don't understand. No community is a monolith. If you see racism or fatphobia or homophobia somewhere then call it out, but don't let a few bad apples define an entire community.

Also I'm going to end this post by reminding everyone you can love something and still criticize it. I love the transgender community and coquette culture, but I still think there are things we can do to change them for the better. Like I don't think traditional gender roles should be forced on people, but we also shouldn't villainize women and girls who love wearing ribbons and flowing dresses and cisgender men should be free to do those things as well.

If someone wants to be a housewife and stay at home mom -- I refuse to use the term tradwife as it's rooted in white supremacy -- then good for them. But just because that's good for her doesn't mean it's good for all women. Its a thankless job that even many supposed feminists look down on.

You need to remember, though, that being a housewife is not at all like living in an episode of Desperate Housewives. There's a good chance that you'll be dirt poor cause you'll be living off only one income, and you don't get a break from screaming toddlers.

And you also need to remember the women who fought so that you could have the right to choose to stay at home with your kids if you wanted -- straight or otherwise cause a damn lot of queer and BIPOC people contributed to the feminist movement. Trying to force them to be housewives when they don't want to is disrespectful.

[nat-stimmy]

"Exclusive" as a derogatory insult towards people who want to maintain the inherent nature of their identity is honestly both amusing and saddening.

I don't support the label of 'mspec gay' or 'mspec lesbian' but I'm an avid and near radical supporter of trans identities, non-binary identities, the aroace spectrums, ect. And yet, because of that one singular belief, the rest of my support is considered null.

My literal only issue with ML and MG identities is that they're contradictory to the monoidentity they're appropriated, and that they've forced the entire concept of lesbianism and homosexuality to change in order to suit their appropriation of it while inciting multiple attacks, largely on lesbianism, for its inherent premise. Now, literal hundreds of thousands of lesbians no longer feel comfortable with their own identity because other people who are not lesbians have forced the rest of the world to accept their new terms or be attacked and outcast for being 'exclus.'

There are already upwards of 20 mspec and multi-sexual labels that mean what people are butchering lesbianism and homosexuality to mean. And, this might get me some hate, but a single label excluding X gender when there are 19 other labels that include it isn't a bad thing. Not every single space has to be available to every single person.

anon it is like 8 am its too fuckin early to have to justify my identity to someone who refuses to come off anon to tell me to my face they think they know me and my experiences with sexuality and gender (because those two are very much related) better than myself. but yknow what. fine. fine, i'll do it anyway because it’s gonna bug me if i don’t!! let's go point by point, shall we? this is gonna be a long post because i like to talk and anon gave me a lot to talk about, so feel free to block the 'long post' and 'very long post' tags if you don't wanna see stuff like this (i completely understand) Point 1 - "Exclusive" as a derogatory insult towards people who want to maintain the inherent nature of their identity is honestly both amusing and saddening. so the thing you need to understand and realize is that by nature human gender / sexuality is going to be messy, and categorizing it into little tiny boxes that can Never Cross Over EVER is pointless and only causes issues in the long run, because a lot of people (including myself!) have identities that are messy and complicated and contradictory and generally not as straightforward as it might be for others! Point 2 - I don't support the label of 'mspec gay' or 'mspec lesbian' but I'm an avid and near radical supporter of trans identities, non-binary identities, the aroace spectrums, ect. And yet, because of that one singular belief, the rest of my support is considered null. yeah, actually, because you are still excluding a group of people because of their sexuality! you're still an exclusionist by definition, just not of the aspec exclus / nonbinary / mogai exclus variety. Point 3 - My literal only issue with ML and MG identities is that they're contradictory to the monoidentity they're appropriated, and that they've forced the entire concept of lesbianism and homosexuality to change in order to suit their appropriation of it while inciting multiple attacks, largely on lesbianism, for its inherent premise. Now, literal hundreds of thousands of lesbians no longer feel comfortable with their own identity because other people who are not lesbians have forced the rest of the world to accept their new terms or be attacked and outcast for being 'exclus.' "i don't understand these people's identities but instead of accepting that it's none of my god damn business or attempting to understand why they identify that way i'm gonna send an essay to someone i don't fucking know on a blog that has nothing to do with discourse and only posts it because other people will not stop bringing it up! but don't call me an exclusionist for excluding people because it hurts my feewings :( just look at all these OTHER people i DON'T exclude!" holy SHIT just say "i've never talked to an mspec lesbian before" and GO anon. this part makes me genuinely fucking angry. like holy shit the god damn AUDACITY of this freezing-cold take is ASTOUNDING. i'm gonna break this down into little bite-sized pieces for ease of explaining so bear with me- "they're contradictory to the monoidentity they're appropriated and that they've forced the entire concept of lesbianism and homosexuality to change in order to suit their appropriation of it " that's a weird way to say "i don't understand queer history and i don't care enough to look it up!" but okay, i guess?? mspec lesbians / gays aren't fucking "appropriating" anything, because FUN FACT- BOTH THE LABELS "GAY" AND "LESBIAN" STARTED OUT AS UMBRELLA TERMS!!! THEY WERE FREE FOR ANYONE TO USE IF THEY IDENTIFIED WITH THEM. Back in the Early Days Of The Queer Community, a woman who liked women was considered a lesbian, regardless of if she was also attracted to other genders, namely men! Now, a Certain Group of lesbians did not like this. They did not like this One Bit! This is where the term 'gold star lesbian' came from, which means a lesbian who has never dated and / or slept with someone who was not a woman! (or who transphobes considered 'not a woman' because this group of lesbians would later become ra/d/f/e/m/s and t/e/rf/s +

s/w/e/r/f/s) now, eventually this all caused the community to implode, and ppl who previously ID'd as lesbians were for the most part kicked out and shunned because they were either also attracted to other genders or had previously dated / slept with other genders and were no longer considered "valid" lesbians! that's why we have the term 'bisexual' now! now, a lot of people, both young and old, still use 'lesbian' to mean 'woman attracted to women, regardless of other attractions they may also experience' in fact, i've heard that among the older queer population, this is the definition they use! isn't that neat? "while inciting multiple attacks, largely on lesbianism, for its inherent premise" so i will preface this by saying i don't condone or support people attacking or harassing others. that's fucked up and no matter what side you're on i'm gonna be like 'hey! that's fucked up of you to do that!' but honestly? honestly and truly??? i've only EVER seen people attacking mspec gays / lesbians (myself included! i've been told to kill myself because of my label!) as opposed to the other way around. i've seen people suicide bait and harass and attack mspec lesbians / gays, whereas i have NEVER, not fucking ONCE seen an mspec gay / lesbian doing the same to someone else over this sort of thing. you know what i HAVE seen from mspec gays / lesbians? US STANDING UP TO PEOPLE SENDING US DEATH THREATS. i'm sorry that i don't care to be made the BAD GUY when i'm just here minding my own god damn business and an anon comes into my inbox trying to tell me what to do, kind of like what you're doing now, and i rightfully tell them to fuck off! i'm sorry that i'm not gonna roll over and let them walk all over me and my fellow mspec gays / lesbians because they don't care to understand why we identify the way we do. “ Now, literal hundreds of thousands of lesbians no longer feel comfortable with their own identity because other people who are not lesbians have forced the rest of the world to accept their new terms or be attacked and outcast for being 'exclus.' “ “people who are not lesbians” sorry anon but mspec lesbians are by definition lesbians, just not the definition you personally think is valid. words can have multiple meanings! isn’t that neat? a pan lesbian existing does not mean that a mono lesbian is no longer valid, contrary to popular belief! another person existing as themselves does not invalidate you! isn’t that cool? the moment i accepted this i became so much fucking happier because i was no longer worried about what other people were doing and i could just focus on finding out stuff about myself!

“ because other people who are not lesbians have forced the rest of the world to accept their new terms or be attacked and outcast for being 'exclus.' “ wow it’s almost like when you’re shitty to people for something they can’t control they’re gonna want to avoid you. weird. “ There are already upwards of 20 mspec and multi-sexual labels that mean what people are butchering lesbianism and homosexuality to mean “ the cool thing is: if i don’t want to use them i don’t have to! why do you think there’s so many with similar descriptions? i prefer bi gay. it sums up my experience pretty well and i get a cool flag! do you know *why* i ID as bi gay? it’s because i’m multigender, and am attracted to multiple genders that i also happen to be. to be more specific: i am a transmasc genderfluid guy. i am never female, i have never been female, and at this point i doubt i ever will be female, considering it’s been about 20 years by now. i am attracted to men and nonbinary people, either masc-leaning or outside of the binary completely. therefore, i am both bi (attracted to multiple genders) and gay (man attracted to men + one gender attracted to the same gender) i have a strong preference for binary men (both trans and cis), but it’s not unheard of for me to be romantically attracted to a nonbinary person as long as they are not fem-leaning. this is a very very common thing with mspec gays / lesbians. a lot of us are multigender (example: both male and female) and are attracted to those genders, making us both mspec AND gay / lesbian! and multigender people are constantly fucking swept under the rug and ignored when people talk about these labels. being multigender will oftentimes make your labels confusing and “contradictory” at first glance. that’s not a bad thing. like i said earlier, when sexuality and gender mix, it can get confusing. that’s okay. “ And, this might get me some hate, but a single label excluding X gender when there are 19 other labels that include it isn't a bad thing. Not every single space has to be available to every single person. “ it’s not a bad thing, no, but what IS a bad thing is when people like you try to rewrite history and flat-out lie to exclude people because we don’t meet your subjective view of what is the Correct Way to be queer. you don’t get to dictate my labels. you don’t get to dictate anyone’s labels but your own. does that make you angry? does it make you mad that other people have different experiences than you? i think it does, judging by the fact that you sent this message at all. work on that, maybe. reflect on why it matters to you so much that you sent a stim blog discourse. i’m done being nice. i’m done being civil. if it seems like i’m mad, it’s because i am. i’m sick and TIRED of saying the same shit over and over. none of this is new. none of this is stuff i haven’t ALREADY TALKED ABOUT AT LENGTH ON THIS BLOG. bi lesbian as a term isn’t even recent, it’s been around for a WHILE??? it’s in queer literature???? your dumb fucking argument doesn’t hold up to the barest HINT of scrutiny. this is the last time i’m posting something like this unless i have something new to say. i’m done addressing this discourse because it’s all the same ONE point being regurgitated over and over while the people yelling it plug their ears when i try to educate them on our community’s history and get nowhere. if you don’t care about queer history, fine. but don’t make it other people’s problem.

[izzacsdreamsofrunningaway]

Very tired of people acting like nonbinary and trans people are “new and just trending” like no. You dumb arse. If anyone bothered to look they’d notice pretty quickly that these are ideas we’ve had since forever. And “you’re making up that gender/pronoun” THEY ARE LITERALLY ALL MADE UP and English isn’t the only bloody language that exist. People come out more now because the risk has lessoned, because they see others like them, because we have more visibility so more people are learning at younger ages how to understand themselves and their bodies. It doesn’t mean “you saw that on tv so you’re just doing it cause it’s cool” it means they saw it on tv and understood themselves. Saw themselves. When you’ve been represented in the media your whole life you have no idea what it is to have that moment of finally seeing yourself.

I know POC usually have it harder with finding acceptance through family, and with my whole heart I really believe it’s fear. Because so many of our cultures use to embrace this sort of thing, being outside of this black and white view of gender was not abnormal or wrong it was something that made you Wise and Strong. But after years of that being taken and beaten out of us and with generational trauma coupled with the difficulties that come with being a person of colour and the added struggle of being LGBTQ+, I think it’s terrifying to think that someone you love has one more target on their back and one more thing putting the world against them. And that shit is heartbreaking.

Trans and Non-binary people, just like every other LGBTQ+ identity, is not new. It’s not going away. It’s not Different. It’s always been. We’re just fighting to take back what was stolen from us and that’s the belief of our existence and the right to do so. So yes, we’re pretty fucking loud about it. We have every right to be, we should be. There are so many bills right now stripping back the work that people have DIED for and it makes me sick. It is simply history repeating itself as people try to erase what does not fit their agenda and their comprehension as opposed to getting educated and having compassion.

If you’re Trans or Non-binary and you’ve ever been made to feel othered or unimportant or like you’re making it up. You aren’t. You’re apart of a community and a rich history with beautiful stories of healers and wise people and gods. You’re part of something that people have tried time and time again to stomp out, to stop, to erase, but they never can. You do matter, you matter so much because you are living proof that no one can take away who you are no matter how they try to hide it or force you to fit.

You do matter. You do deserve to exist and be remembered.

[centuriantalevevo]

Draco x Nonbinary Reader

Reader is AMAB, also this contains my headcanons lmao- hella OOC because of that (one of my headcanons, Draco has like.. multiple cousins who are basically on crack /j)

TW: transphobia and enbyphobia, with talk of biphobia. LGBTphobia in general. Misgendering

    5th year is.. Hectic.. Especially for a certain kid, Y/N L/N, who had to deal with a literal pink toad this year. Like.. ew? What made it worse, was they seemed to be the only kid in the school, well Slytherin specifically, that was… Different. Not in the normal, cliche sense, where ‘oh Y/N was drop dead gorgeous but abused by everyone around her, she can sing amazing-’, no. This isn’t your typical x Reader story, Y/N was different in the sense of Identity, Gender, specifically Gender Norms. They seemed to be all alone on this feeling, a feeling of discomfort, a feeling of loneliness despite multiple friends being in the room with them at this moment. They were away from earth, where no words can hurt. Where the erasure cannot get to them.

Oh god did the words hurt.

Oh? What words? You’re about to find out.

    “No, but did you hear some of the bullshit Umbridge was saying?” He asked, he as in the blonde. Draco. Draco Malfoy. “Especially to my cousin-” “You have a cousin?” Pansy asked, “Welcome to the conversation, first time speaking to me?- Yes, you are hella late to the conversation.” Draco groaned, “Now let me get back to the story” “Continue, which cousin? Darla?- Dominic?-” Blaise asked, “No, Jamie..” He responded quickly, “Oh hold on, what did the toad do to Jamie? I swear, if she hURT THAT PRECIOUS CHILD- Gryffindor or not, I love that girl to death” Blaise said quickly, interrupting Draco.

The blonde sighed deeply, “Blaise.. I love you to death but holy shit let me finnish, alright..” He took a breather, Y/N came back from their little world, queuing into the conversation. “Okay, so Umbridge had the AUDACITY to misgender MY COUSIN OVER AND OVER again! Misgendered her, invalidated her, you know that rule about like.. Something distance from the opposite gender? Yeah she’s forcing Jamie, a literal girl, to distance from girls and not guys-” He halted for a second, “No, my bad.. She’s forcing Jamie to stay away from both because she believe that Jamie is gay.. No, Jamie is a whole straight girl..” Draco ranted, “um.. Sorry to interrupt but… Jamie’s a girl? So how was she invalidated?” Y/N asked, tilting their head, Draco’s eyes moved to them, softening some.

    “Oh, you didn’t know? I thought everyone knew. Jamie is trans, she’s a trans girl specifically”

THERE! THERE IT WAS! They weren’t alone now.. There was someone who understood, yet they’d been clueless this whole time.

“I swear I will jack that woman UP” Blaise said lowly and Draco nodded in agreement. “Jamie was CRYING when she came to me, she could barely speak. That poor girl passed out from crying so much. She felt so hurt and the amount of dysphoria she felt was astronomically high.” He sighed, even he wanted to cry. “Like, damn bitch you didn’t have to out yourself as a whole LGBTphobe, you could’ve just stayed quiet and it would cost you nothing yet you chose to mess with a child who is related to the MALFOY family, very smart yes mhmm..” He growled in aggravation “Only merlin knows what she’d do if there was a nonbinary in the school, she’s probably dehumanize them.” He shook his head.

    “I’d commit a hate crime if I’m honest” Dominic said, coming from the stairs of the boys dormitory, “The LGBT had their way for a moment because she hadn’t thought about the gays, bisexuals and lesbians. Well.. the gays and lesbians, I don’t think she thinks Bisexuals exist..” He hummed, “She’s enforced the rule so now Darla can’t be near Daphne, luckily I don’t have a boyfriend.. The one time being single is a good thing.” Dominic dramatically cried.

“I will prove bisexuals exist, damn seems like I gotta stay away from ALL of you, sorry” Draco jokes, but was dead serious at the same time. “Until then, if there are nonbinaries in the school, technically they can by-pass the rules, if they present as masculine one day feminine the next. Or just androgynous to confuse the toad.” Draco then added, “I think I have to stay away from you guys too, shit Bisexuals can’t do ANYTHING” Blaise said, pretending to get up and leave.

So.. the students know of the nonbinary gender…

“Although, no surprise, Snape is always the decent one, along with all the other professors, and respect the trans kids pronouns, I’ve gone into his class to give him something during one of his lessons and heard him deliberately calling out kids that misgendered Jamie, it was amazing. And everyone says Snape is a bad teacher.” Draco says, smiling some at the memory. “Ooo! Speaking of which! While in Umbrdige’s class I think.. A few days ago, Snape actually found out about the incident and told her the fuck off for it-” “Damn, snape really said ‘trans rights are human rights’, go off honestly” Dominic interrupted, Draco nodded “The best look honestly, it was pure bliss watching that.” He responded.

Y/N finally managed to form words. “I.. didn’t know there was a trans person in the school.. A fellow trans person..” They said, mumbling the last part quietly, but Draco, Dominic, and Blaise caught it. “Fellow trans person?” Blaise tilted his head, and Draco glanced knowingly, the last part of their sentence was all he needed. They shook their head quickly, “Nothing” They shrugged, “Just nice to know”

It hurt, to be misgendered everyday, to be fair no one knew they were misgendering the kid. But they were so scared of being erased, discriminated against, that they said nothing. Since 1st year, pretty much.

They stretched some, “I'm gonna head to the library, I need to get studying done for Defense Against the Dark Arts, I’ll talk to you guys later.” They smiled, getting up, and grabbing paper, a quill, ink and their books from their dorm. Speed walking out, though it didn’t take long to hear a second pair of footsteps racing after them. Who the-

    “Hey, Y/N..” Draco trailed of, catching up to them quickly, “What’s up?” They looked at him from the corner of their eye, “There’s something you never told anyone, isn’t there?” He asked. Y/N averted their eyes and shook their head, “Nn… No..?” They sounded unsure, “Is that a statement, or a question because you don’t know?” He asked. He didn’t wanna be rude, but this was the only way he could truly confirm. If there was someone he had been accidentally misgendering, he wanted to stop that quickly.

    “I don’t wanna sound rude, nor put you on the spot.. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but.. What are your pronouns?” he asked, he knew of the nonbinaries, he knew of them.. So it’s fine to tell him, yes? He was basically defending them. They shook their head, not ready yet. “Not ready? That’s fine, I can respect that. You can always tell me, you know that right? I’ll understand. And if not me, then Jamie will.” heHe had sincerity in his voice, Y/N simply nodded. “Noted, thanks Draco..” They smiled and headed to the Library.

    The next day, Defense Against the Dark Arts was boring as ever, all because of Umbridge. But she had a new lesson today, not the normal one though. She had been doing her usual bullying of Jamie, Draco had been on edge and heard about it earlier, fairly quickly too. It was like it was her MISSION to be an LGBTphobic idiot with no life. Jamie had mentioned nonbinaries before she dipped from class, arguing about trans in general with the woman, or.. Monster.. Both terms work. So she was now here, in front of kids, spewing out enbyphobic shit, and not planning on stopping.. Y/N was starting to cry, but tried their best to hold it in.

The first person to notice the distress was Draco, Hermione did too, as she sat behind Y/N but could see them jolting some, “These.. Non-binaries, are less than human. You’re either a boy, or a girl. Everyone agrees, yes? If you are born a girl, you’re a girl. If you’re born a boy, you’re a boy. It’s a mental disorder, and you need to be fixed-” “They’re normal.. They just happen to not feel like a guy or a girl..” Y/N said quietly, “Trans folk are human, they aren’t an it.. That’s incredibly hurtful..” They said, it took all their strength to keep their voice from cracking.

“What was that Mr. L/N?” Umbridge smiled that sweet yet disgusting smile, tilting her head.. No, that smile had more dangerous intent behind that. They flinched. “Is there something you would like to say sir?” She asked, stopping in front of them. “Trans people.. Are people.. Just because you’re too ignorant to learn doesn’t.. M..mean you- b-bring someone down b-beca-use of it..” Their voice started to crack, they hiccuped some. “I’m sorry.. Do you think you have more knowledge than me?” She asked, her tone was dangerous. “Y..yes. Clearly, I’ve d-done my research on this, th-there is science tha-at defends us” They said.

“Detention Mr. L/N.. For talking back to a teacher, when I am giving a lesson you are to listen, you’re too caught up in whatever freak show you tra-” Umbridge was cut off, “Don’t you DARE finish that damn sentence, I can promise you I am not against hitting a teacher and a woman at that.” Draco intervened, “There is a lot of science that backs transgenders up, plenty of brain science has shown there is a female and male brain, that’s what backs up trans girls and trans boys, the nonbinary is still being researched, but I can assure you it is much more than a mental illness. Yes, dysphoria is a disorder, it CAN be treated, it can be treated with Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT. It can be treated with transitioning. Some nonbinaries transition, some don’t feel dysphoric enough to transition, but at the end of the day they are still a they, I am still a he, and you are still a she. Just imagine if someone called you ‘he’, or even ‘it’ because they didn’t believe you were actually a girl-” “DETENTION, for BOTH of you.” Umbridge screamed, glaring daggers at both of them.

    “I’d take detention over hearing another second of the erasure, you’ve hurt my cousin enough, I’ll gladly take the blow for her. I thought Snape would’ve taught you.” Draco muttered, staring at her, “Both of you, leave. Now.” She said with a huff, Draco grabbed his things, but stopped Y/N when they tried to collect theirs, getting it for them, “Come on.” He said softly, leaving the classroom with the student.

He handed their things to them gently, “I.. Noticed you got really upset..” He said softly, “More like panicked..” They said softly, “It’s easier said than done, but try not to let her get to you. Some people just choose to stay stupid. Sometimes even I hurt from some of the shit she says. Damn the amount of biphobia I have heard from her is ungodly.” He sighed, “You’re bi?” They asked curiously, “Yeah, I thought it was obvious by now. I kinda stopped caring at like.. 2nd year, hell I made out with.. A lot of guys in 2nd and 3rd year, mostly to piss my father off because he’s also LGBTphobic, but also just because it’s fun, and guys are cute.” He said with a small grin, they laughed. “Fair enough, do what you can to piss the oppressors off” They joked, drying their eyes. He turned to head to the Slytherin Common Room, when their voice ringed out again.

“They/Them..” Y/N said, he turned around and tilted his head, “You asked what my pronouns are.. I use they/them. I’m nonbinary” They said softly, and Draco smiled with a nod. “Is there a different name you want to be called?” But they shook their head, “The name I introduced myself as is the name I want to use.” Y/N said, “Alright, come on. Lets go to the common room” Draco said, “I can probably try and get Jamie in there too..” He hummed softly.

    Later that day, it was after dinner, and all the Slytherins were in the common room. Aside from Draco and Y/N, “Do you want to tell them? Most of them are accepting, aside from a few exceptions, Pansy surprisingly is accepting.” He said quietly, and thought for a moment.. “Blaise told me a few of the kids got told off because they agreed with us.” He added, “I think.. I was always scared to say anything because I didn’t wanna be made fun of.. I didn’t know there was someone who was trans like me til you talked about what happened with Jamie..” They said, “Well, you’re safe here. Hell, I’m more than 110% sure that our headmaster is gay, so.. Do with what you will on that information” He said with a small lighthearted laugh, Draco kissed their cheek with a small hum “It’ll be okay.”

They’d chosen to tell them, they didn’t want to feel misgendered any longer, Umbridge aside. “Oi, everyone shut your trap for a second, I have something to say- THEO… Thank you” He said, after staring down Theodore for a moment. “Let us reintroduce someone, but properly this time. This is Y/N, they’re nonbinary, use they/them pronouns and the moment I hear any of you say something against that, I will personally come for you, with Jamie in tow.” Draco said, Y/N smiling a little with a small wave. “Could’ve told us sooner, but glad you did, especially after Professor Umbridge, good job” Blaise said.

    Even Pansy was accepting, they were all proud that you had the courage to say come out, and also that you said something to Umbridge.

This was fine, everything is fine. Umbridge wasn’t fine, but.. This was nice, being accepted as who you are, by people who you’d think would be the last people to ever accept you. The person you thought would be the last person to accept you ended up being the most accepting, which is ironic when you consider his dad. 

This was bad 😭

[sunnysideofsaturn]

2019, oh how you’ve destroyed me.

basically i’ve seen a ton of posts like this, especially by one of my best interweb pals (lookin at you, C @hey-im-pan ) and it’s inspired me to make one of my own! i journal a LOT but it’ll be interesting to try and sum everything up in little synopsis.

*side note: i struggle with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and ocd, so those and their effects may be mentioned. be cautious. This also doesn’t include a lot of the more personal instances, so don’t take it as an accurate representation of what it is like living with these issues*

January:

Honestly, not much happened. I went on a college visit trip with a few of my friends to my dream school, which was stressful but informative, and my anxiety attacks were far and in-between. Sleep schedule was wack (has been since 7th grade), but i was functioning. Dysphoria (i’m nonbinary, but hadn’t really even come out to myself then) was pretty high this month in particular for some reason, so i finally started trying to convince my mom to let me cut my hair off. (I had like 2.5 feet it was a mess)

February:

Finally came out to one of my close friends as pan, kinda accidentally but she was chill with it :) My grandma had a weeklong sickness that scared the shit out of me, but she got better for the time being. I was constantly pushing myself academically and physically at practice, but my grades were taking a bit of a nosedive because i didn’t have the capacity to deal with everything, but i bottled it up because i hate feeling weak. I continued to explore my sexuality, and started to research the gender spectrum.

March:

School and Crew (rowing sport) were the only things on my mind at all times. I started having more anxiety attacks again, and decided it was time to talk to my doctor about going back on meds after 3 years off them. IB was kicking my ass, but i’m so grateful for all of my teammates for giving me an escape on the water. Started to accept I was non-binary.

April:

A month full of good vibes i really needed. Got my drivers license on 4/20. I hiked my grades up with the help of extra credit, held a “wedding” in a Dillard’s try-on section, and spent a few days of spring break at the beach with two friends. I finally cut my hair off!! That feeling was literally incredible and i try to get a haircut every other month to actually keep up with it now. Saw endgame, died inside, and competed in an art show! I was doing really well, so I went off my meds again (don’t do that without a doctors permission like me).

May:

BAdddd time to be off meds, anxiety and depression were dropping my health and IB finals kicked my ass and the class i had been most excited about taking had become my worst at this point, but I got through the exams without missing any. Went to Jr. Prom though! We actually used going to Jr. Prom as a coverup to throw a surprise birthday party for my best friend. I still have no idea how she didn’t figure it out. I also started talking to one of my internet buds, Rosie. She’s helped me through so much she doesn’t even know about, and it such a beaut inside and out <3

June:

MADE IT TO PRIDE MONTH!! I finished my actual finals with minimal panic attacks, and join a Parkner discord! That was short lived, but from it was born… The What the Actual Fuck Fam, whom i love dearly. You guys still crack me up, and i know i’ll always have people to fall back on ( or help me commit murder.) Turned 17 and watched Monty Python (again.) Was forced into not one, but tWo bible camps, but also went to my first pride in my city! I have never felt so loved by so many people i don’t know :)

July:

Depression hit me HarD. I was constantly in a bad mood and taking it out on other people and myself, and I was losing even more sleep. Went back on meds for a bit. I got to see Far From Home, but pretty much isolated myself from anyone in my real life. July is always hard for me to get though for some reason. On a happier note, I started talking to @winterrs-child , who I now love dearly and @exbrodokills , which started out by exchanging memes but i think we can now call a friendship :D

August:

More depression, yayyyy, but Rosie and my irl friends helped me through it so much, even if they didn’t know it was happening. I finally came out to my parents and grandma as pan. They honestly took it pretty well, even if my grandma thinks it’s a ‘phase’. Also came out to C, B, and T as non-binary. Ya’ll were the first people I told after a YEAR omg <3 developed a huge celebrity crush on a cosplayer i won’t name even though they’ll never see this :’) Also fell back into the kiribaku pit after finally stabilizing my Parkner obsession. Also, joined a sapphic server which is basically a big gay support group :) (thanks to Rosie)

September:

Started my senior year of high school. So far, it’s pretty much been one big panic attack but i’m managing. I’m a mentor on the crew team this year and have adopted pretty much every underclassmen on the team. I love them all equally (except for my favorites) Cut my hair even shorter! I love it! Got back into writing poetry and short stories after an intense writer’s and reader’s block that lasted for almost a year. Went off my meds again (I should stop doing that, ik) Went to a Harry Potter fest, which was great, but started building up major anxiety for planning the rest of my life.

October:

SPOOP MONTH. October is my favorite month, so I was determined to make it good. Went on a couple more college tours, but also celebrated fall and halloween with my favorite people. Came reallllly close to stabbing my IB Bio teacher, but he’s survived, so far. Cosplayer mentioned earlier followed me on insta, cue gay panic. i also accidentally created a huge cuddle pile of 30 girls on my team in the captain’s backyard. It was as amazing as it sounds :0 Applied for 6 colleges

November:

CAVETOWN omg. I was also murdered with a bent hammer (don’t ask) and my mental health was pretty stable. I joined yet another server created by the cosplayer, and have made so many friends through it, plus gained a new dad figure :). Contemplated buying a binder on black friday, didn’t and deeply regret it (planing on getting one with the christmas money i get from my homophobic grandfather we pretend doesn’t exist) Discovered the goodness of Baby Yoda. Did pretty much no spanish homework. Solid 7/10

December:

Honestly, school wise december has been the most stressful month of this year so far, and the 2nd worst depressive episode. I’ve written 6 essays and done 5 projects this month and that was not a good time for the already low seratonin levels. i got waitlisted for the school i mentioned earlier, but was accepted into the other 5 :) I got to see an Of Monsters and Men concert, and I’m trying to push thorough til break, but my grandma has been getting sick more and more frequently over this year and now she’s been in a lot of pain for over two weeks and in and out of emergency care 6 times. Just hoping to make it to 2020 with everyone in tact and healthy :) I’m doing a secret santa with my friends im looking forward to. My friends have been amazing support through all of this mess, even if ii didn’t tell you about it, and i love you all!!

special mentions:

@donnaschaunamanon

@dawdlzdoodles

@harleykeenerprotectionsquad

@bumbblebeeeeee

@lykkesw

@chai-studying

@hey-im-pan

@pumpkinparkner

@everyone’s users i don’t know/remember

[bullyfemme]

“Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria” and Bad Transphobic Pop Science

Many people engaged in discourse on this website, especially with truscum, have probably encountered their concept of “Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria”. Those who have the fantastic shinigami eyes extension enabled and search for the topic will often find a litteny of red sites when you look for anything involving the term from sites that often spout anti-trans rhetoric and are constantly looking for pseudoscience to back up their beliefs. 

“Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria” as defined by the official website for it (yes, really. Don’t click here if you’re triggered by transphobia) run by the transphobic parents of young trans teens, goes as follows: “A type of adolescent-onset or late-onset gender dysphoria where the development of gender dysphoria is observed to begin suddenly during or after puberty in an adolescent or young adult who would not have met criteria for gender dysphoria in childhood.” 

There are obviously flaws with this, even on the surface level of just this definition, without looking at the actual study conducted itself (though we will get there, trust me). 

First of all, you have to assume that you require gender dysphoria to be trans. There’s evidence quite to the contrary in that professionals and groups dedicated to assisting trans people agree that dysphoria is not a requirement for identifying as trans, and actual (read: not pop science) that has found that the brain is not sexually dymorphic and that there arent “male brains” and female brains”, that very few people actually regret transitioning (roughly .6% of trans women and .3% of trans men, please note the decimal and that both of these, when accounting for the fact that both groups only account for roughly half of all binary trans people, equal less than half of 1% of all trans people).

Pretending that evidence doesn’t exist, let’s pretend that the assumption that gender dysphoria is needed for being trans is correct. Even in that world view, this definition is poor and tenuous. When you describe “not having met criteria for gender dysphoria in childhood”, you are going with the assumption that the child didn’t experience and hide it very well out of shame. Or that they did express it and their parents dismissed it and continued to dismiss it throughout childhood. Or that the child did not force themselves to perform hyperfemininity or hypermasculinity in order to try and “make it go away” in the same vein of a gay person forcing themselves into relationships and situations with straight people. Or that the child is not gay and gnc. Or that didn’t experience adolescent or adult dysphoria which the dsm-5 does define as legitimate experiences, as do MANY ACTUAL TRANS PEOPLE IF YOU TALK TO THEM, SOMETHING THE AUTHOR OF THE STUDY HAS FAILED TO DO. 

Many trans people who experience dysphoria don’t experience it until they hit puberty and their body undergoes changes associated with the wrong kind of puberty for them. Which, for the trans children of the parents surveyed (yeah, we’re getting there, they didn’t actually survey trans kids), allows them to say “well you weren’t like this before!”

There is one, single study conducted with regards to “Rapid onset gender dysphoria.” Lisa Littman, the woman who conducted the study, isn’t even a professional in gender studies. She’s a fucking gynecologist and obstetrician (pregnancy doctor). This is not her field of study. Much of her research is focused on detransition and her coined “Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria” despite, again, no experience in those fields of study. She’s a cis woman obsessed with making trans people identify as cis again, or as “normal” by her standards. If she would have done actual research, she would have found just how few trans people want to detransition after transitioning in the first place, or how many people who do detransition are trans people, often trans women, forced to detransition in order to survive every day. 

Beyond this, the study itself: where do I even begin. 

I have defined Ms. Littman as coining ROGD, and that’s not quite fair. The actual people who coined it are well-known terf website 4wavenow.com, conservative website Transgendertrend.com, and YouthTransCriticalProfessionals.org which is an organization of conservative scientists (theres an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one) who hide behind degrees while they churn out anti-trans propaganda. In fact, that’s what all three of those groups do. 

Now, finally, with all that out of the way. Let’s talk about this study, posted in the non-peer reviewed journal of academic health.

First of all, as alluded to previously, it was conducted by talking to the parents of these kids, not the kids themselves. This opens up a whole host of things to talk about, and trust me - we will. It was a 90 question quiz posted on the three websites mentioned previously: 4thwavenow, transgendertrend.com, and youthtranscrticialproffessionals.org. So, the survey is already poisoned, placed on websites with deliberate anti-trans agendas, with no way of verifying who the fuck was taking that survey. So if Tammy Terfbangs, mother of absolutely no one, gets on 4thwavenow and sees that a ~super scientific survey~ about those evil 14 year old trans kids, there is quite literally nothing stopping her from filling it out. I cannot even begin to describe how shoddy the foundation for all of this is. Or if, per say, a popular terf blog linked to this, there’s quite literally nothing stopping dozens or hundreds of terfs from filling this survey out. 

As a scientist, the methods in which she procured the “””evidence””” on anti-trans websites run by the parents of trans children makes me fucking furious. Imagine running a study about, per say, autism, and how sensory overload feels, instead of asking the autistic person, they asked the parents of the autistic person, and posting it on “TheCureForAutism.org” and “DontVaccinateEducate.Com” and then posting it in a shitty non-peer reviewed journal. Essentially, thats exactly what this is.   

This idea isn’t even new. The WPATH standards of Care, published in 2011, hosted a section called “Phenomenology in Adolescents”. This section had the following to say. 

“Yet many adolescents and adults presenting with gender dysphoria do not report a history of childhood gender-nonconforming behaviors (Docter, 1988; Landén, Wålinder, & Lundström, 1998). Therefore, it may come as a surprise to others (parents, other family members, friends, and community members) when a youth’s gender dysphoria first becomes evident in adolescence.”

The idea that the internet made your kid trans, the backbone of all of this, is just so ridiculous that the fact that I have to even talk about it is stupid. Many kids who understood they were trans when they were young but didn’t know what that meant and couldn’t put their identity into words. Fun fact, if you explain to someone a concept that they didn’t understand but felt before, they might in fact realize that it applies to them. The fact that resources are now available to them to give them information about their identity, and that trans people are more visible now than a decade ago when this generation of trans and nb people were growing up, is a good thing. 

Besides, considering just the quantity of shit like “transgender people DISPROVED by ben shapiro” and “NONBINARY CRINGE COMP #400000000000000000″ available on youtube being fed directly to toddlers with ipads, it’s not like all exposure to trans people has been framed positively, nurturing, or encouraging, and it would be beneficial to talk about the ways in which this is going to affect the trans and nb people who will be around a decade from now. 

There’s so much more I could talk about here, but I don’t think I need to. Instead, I will link to this amazing article that was the backbone of much of what I wrote. The author is a bisexual trans women with a degree in biochemistry, she knows what the fuck shes talking about. 

[pghbabesonbikes]

Frigid Bitch 2019 Results

Frigid Bitch - back for year 6!

Continuing tradition as probably the biggest ladies/non-binary bike race in the universe with over 100 riders, this year’s Frigid Bitch expanded with first-time-ever-offered pre-registration and MORE PODIUMS. Held at Threadbare Cider in Spring Garden, at 10am on Saturday, February 16th, 2019, racers started flooding in to stock up on gear, check out the competition, and pick up their maps & manifests.

As always, there is a one hour window for racers to frantically plan their routes, forge alliances, and make friends. A few local ladies’ racing teams showed up in force, and some veteran Frigid Bitch ride-or-die gangs side-eyed up their matching kits and focused efficiency with determined fuck-it, let’s-do-this attitudes. New racers met riding partners on-site, and a handful of volunteers showed up to take in the crowd before heading out to their no-longer-secret positions.

A quarter to go-time, everyone was hustled outside to unlock their steeds and gear up for the start line.

THE CHECKPOINTS

Grandview Overlook Every year, for the out-of-towners, suburb queens, commuters who never stray from the beaten track - there’s always one checkpoint that everybody knows how to get to. Not that we’d make it easy! Pittsburgh’s famous overlook is a slag up Mt Washington, and with the main thru way closed, racers had to either bump it up via shattered sidewalks, or find away around. Volunteers were ready with a toast at the top!

Fineview Overlook In a city of hills and bridges you’re gonna have a lot of overlooks … Grandview’s much lesser known cousin on the Northside had racers figuring out how to find their way above the ballfield. Anyone who actually followed the map to this checkpoint found themselves climbing one of the toughest Dirty Dozen Hills….oh, did we do that? Whoops!

Herr’s Island Keep following the map in the other direction, and it’d take you down Rialto St (another Dirty Dozen Hill! Who drew this?!) and across the 30th St Bridge to Herr’s Island, haven of local crew teams and isolated Pgh elite. Everyone knows it’s there; most cyclists have zero reason to ever trek over. On the far end of the island, through some woods & down some steps to a gravel lot in a crumbling wall, volunteers were waiting with a camp fire to check off numbers of the racers who hiked-a-bike or threw down and hustled on foot.

5 Points Speaking of hike-a-biking, the furthest checkpoint from the start was tucked away in Pgh’s mountain biking mecca, Frick Park. There’s only one spot in the woods where 5 trails spike together in a star formations, colloquially known as…. FIVE POINTS!!! Entering the trail from Beechwood Blvd in Squirrel Hill, anyone who made it this far had to off-road their ride down dirt paths and over exposed roots. But hey, there was hot chocolate at the bottom! 

Murray Hill Not far from 5 points, Murray Hill Ave gave everyone the opportunity to experience off- roading on a one of the most quintessential Pgh urban this-is-actually-still-a-road terrains (second only to massive potholes): brutally steep cobbles!

Iron Eden Metal Works Oh, but there were potholes. Snaking the back way up & down bombed-out Sassafras St, nestled in the shadows of the Bloomfield Bridge, lies a two-tiered & strange-looking structure. ~By night!~ a times-past underground venue in the woods, ~by day!~ a rustbelt relic: Iron Eden!

Bonus checkpoint feature:  ~ * g l a m o u r   s h o t s * ~

The Hot Metal Bridge It’s a classic. Need we say more?  

The Boob Mausoleum Probably the most infamous tomb in the Allegheny Cemetery, the WHITE mausoleum features a bafflingly intense commitment to full-blown Egyptian theme&decor. Stationed just outside the crypt’s brass-cast pillar-flanked doors, 2 ~prominent~ sphinxes stand guard over the venerable (?) White family portal. Stationed just outside the sphinxes….Frigid Bitch BEACH PARTY!!

Mohawk St Finally, last in line but top of the list as far as checkpoint shenanigans go; bomb down Fifth Ave from Pitt campus and right before you hit the Birmingham Bridge, there’s a set of city steps that ascend into the woods of West Oakland. They spit out at Landslide Community Farms and a pink jersey barrier where volunteers waited with a camp fire* and a case of PBR. They’d set up a beer chute along the top of the stairs and stood in suspense while racers ran up the steps, not taking the bait. Finally, the vet bitch gang of Alex K, Katherine J and Frankie M threw their bikes over their shoulders, rushed the chute, grabbed a beer, cracked it with their teeth and chugged on the way up.

*if you missed the campfire, it’s because the fire dept showed up to put it out. See? Shenanigans!

Once the clock struck 2, everyone had 1 hour to race back to Threadbare. Bikes were slammed into the temp parking, road shoes clacked across the parking lot, the doors were thrown over and spoke card numbers hollered at the waiting table-side officials.

P A R T Y   T I M E

Pizza was eaten, cider was drunk, war stories were exchanged! Multi-year Bitch Queen Elise R regaled audiences with a story that started as a complaint that she couldn’t run any red lights on the North Side because there were too many cops around, then perked up with details about bombing down towards an intersection from Mohawk, where a white SUV veered into the corner of the intersection, blocking traffic for Elise & her crew to blast their way through, waved them past and yelled “YEAH FRIGID BITCH!!!”

Podiums

For the first time, the Frigid Bitch podium split into multiple categories. Singlespeed, Mountain Bike, Masters, and Out-Of-Town were added in addition to the all-encompassing Women & Nonbinary Open Field. Check back next year; more are comin!

Fixed/Singlespeed 1. Alexandra Korshin 2. Rachel Thompson

Masters 1. Louanna Bailey 2. Frankie Montenegro 3. Kelly Haderly 4. Monica VanDieran 5. Jen Damon 6. Suz Falvey

7. Christa Ross 8. Stacie Truszkowski 9. Barbara Jensen 10. Sarah Crawford 11. Simone Riddle 12. Suzanne Kinsky 13. Athena Marsh 14. Cynthia Billisits 15. Suzie Silver 16. Heather Mccracken 17. Jolynn Gibson 18. Kelli Jones 19. Dorothy Voelker

Mountain Bike 1. Suz Falvey 2. Vincent Zeng 3. Nikki Turner

Out Of Town 1. Jane Hodge 2. Caitlin Woodson 3. Sara Khalil Open Field Results! 1. Elise Rowe #10 2. Shaena Ulissi #18 3. Caryn Willis #73 4. Anna Bieberdorf #114 5. Katie Webber-Plank #93 6. Julie Grove #91

7. Louanna Baily #15 8. Lydia Yoder #50 9. Lindsay Dill #28 10. Alyssa Crawford #62

11. Jessie Appleman #87 12. Ania Jaroszewicz #6 13. Amy Wincek #111 14. Emily Palmer #54 15. LaurynStalter #79 16. Mary-Wren Ritchie #86 17. Alexandra Korshin #69 18. Frankie Montenegro #44 19. Katharine Jordan #78 20. Lan Tran #89 21. Naomi Anderson #107 22. Alexandria Shewczyk #29 23. Jaime Martina #26

24. Megan Andrews #43 25. Cansu Ozen #39 26. Sara Horsey #75 27. Shequaya Bailey #7 28. Kelly Haderly #84 29. Megan Sybeldon #46 30. Allison Glick #104 31. Acadia Klain #37 32. Robyn Brewer #34 33. Anna Barensfeld #52 34. Kelsey Kradel #83 35. Monica VanDieren #4

36. Jen Damon #80 37. Suz Falvey #88 38. Christa Ross #82 39. StacieTruszkowski #102 40. Greta Daniels #60 41. Elizabeth Salesky #33 42. Barbara Jensen #41 43. Sara Madden #92 44. Vanessa Jameson #110 45. Jane Hodge #112 46. Sarah Crawford #90 47. Rachel Dingfelder #59

48. Mary Kate Minnick #27 49. Caitlin Woodson #13 50. Simone Riddle #64 51. Sara Khalil #94 52. Suzanne Kinsky #71 53. Taylor Wescott #35 54. Kathleen Blackburn #49 55. Athena Marsh #57 56. Riesa Lirette #14 57. Vincent Zeng #32 58. Anna Faber #47 59. Erin Potts #51 60. Molly Orzechowski #666 61. Jenna DeVivo #23 62. Laura Watson #99 63. Ngani Ndimbie #108 64. Rachel Thompson #113 65. Alexandra Falk #81 66. Cynthia Billisits #48

67. Sarah Martin #97 68. Laura Everhart #53 69. Bonnie Weibel #61 70. Mary Jackson #65 71. Leah Nicolich #103 72. Charlie Eddington #106 73. Catherine Armbruster #42 74. Paula Zamora #16 75. Ramona Stanley #38 76. Morgan Sulik #21 77. Anusha Simha #119 78. Yvette Aban #58 79. Hwa Han #63 80. Sarah Scherk #101 81. Hayes Indigo #1

82. Milo Spiders #100 83. Jenna Geiman #22 84. Hannah Berg #31 85. Suzie Silver #56 86. Julie Mallis #36 87. Morgan Tunstall #30 88. Heather McCracken #45 89. Shannon Frishkorn #115 90. Jamie Parke #66 91. Kate Bechak #105 92. Jaclyn Sternick #74 93. Jolynn Gibson #40 94. Maureen Duncan #9 95. Kelli Jones #12 96. Sarah Pearman #96 97. Lauren McKenna #17 98. Jennifer Ross #20 99. Kimberly Garrett #98 100. Chen Li #55 101. Rachel Shockey #25 102. NickyTurner #95 103. HEather McClain #109 104. Emily Voelker #24 105. Nicole Toney #68 106. Jenny Bender #67 107. Shelby Schmidt #72 108. Dorothy Voelker #19 109. Elizabeth LeDonne #77

Prizes

Were there enough prizes to go around? Were people bugging the f out over how awesome they were? We’ll let these photos speak for themselves.

The Best Part

The Frigid Bitch has always been a race to promote empowerment in the cycling community, to show that underrepresented groups of people can kick just as much ass as the status quo, and to support organizations that in turn provide for  others in need. To that end, funds raised via registration fees and anonymous pledges have always been given to the Greater Pittsburgh Women’s Center & Shelter. Over the past year, another organization has provided immeasurable support for the founders of the Frigid Bitch in their hour of need. This year’s race raised $730 for the Women’s Shelter and $400 for the Women’s Law Project. It couldn’t be done without the support of our racers & our community.

THANK YOU for another great year! To all of our sponsors, who are solely responsible for the joy fest you just witnessed above! To all my lovely volunteers, without whom this race would never get off the ground, and who pull out all the stops to make this the funnest goddamn alleycat in the whole universe. Thank you to my photographers, without you no one would ever know how fucking awesome this event is! Thank you to my little brother, who always finds the time to churn out another amazing race flyer! THANK YOU TO MY TEAM OF LADIES who helped me throw this race! Without you, Frigid Bitch #5 would have been the last of its kind! Thank you Di-ay, Elise #1 & Elise #2, Kat, Mattie, & Kaylin! Thank you Pittsburgh for being the only city I’d ever wish to be from! I’LL BE BACK!

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

[rjalker]

made with speech to text. I can't find the post, and I forget who posted it, but I saw somebody saying that Leslie Feinberg was transmasculine and I just want to start hitting people

No people, you do not get to fucking go around deciding that people were transmasculine simply because they were assigned female at birth. What part of "it is harmful to push your own specific modern ideas and identities onto historical figures who have no way of speaking up for themselves" do you not understand.

Stop forcing non-binary people into a new binary box and acting like it is progressive. Stop assigning dead people the gender identities that you personally identify with when their own words about their identity are right fucking there for you to see and respect.

If you can't respect Leslie Feinberg without saying that sie was transmasculine because you are a biological and gender essentialist and can only relate to transmasculine people, you have a fucking problem and you are exorsexist

Do not assign dead people gender identities that they did not hold. That's fucking misgendering. This is not a difficult fucking concept. I know you people understand that misgendering is bad.

But I also know none of you people care about non-binary people and think it's okay to call us whatever binary terms you come up with, but that's literally not how this fucking works. Stop fucking misgendering people, stop fucking misgendering dead people. Stop assuming that dead people who cannot correct you would be perfectly fine with you assigning them transmasculine for any other brand new fucking gender identity that you use as a synonym for what you are assigned at birth.

Leslie Feinberg's identity is not something you get to fucking change and dictate to benefit yourself. Being assigned female at birth does not make you transmasculine. They are not fucking synonyms even if you use them that way. Transmasculine is not a synonym for any person assign female at birth who dresses masculinely or identifies as masculine.

It is a specific fucking gender identity. And you do not get to assign it to people who have literally no fucking say in the matter because they're fucking dead.

You people cannot fucking go around assuming that because a non-binary person was assigned female at birth that means that they would be okay with you calling them trans masculine after their death.

I swear to gods when I die someday I'm going to come back to haunt every fucking extrasexist sack of shit that decides to misgender me by applying the brand new made up binary terms that they just came up with to erase nonbinary people.

If you actually care about trans people, then that requires that you not fucking apply gender identities after their fucking death that they did not fucking identify with in life. You are not fucking helping anyone. And yes it is still fucking misgendering even if you think it's a positive thing to do. If you can only stand in solidarity with people who share your exact identity, including dead people that you are assigning this identity to when they have no way to fucking choose that for themselves anymore, you're not standing in solidarity with anyone.

We cannot just go around casually assigning dead trans people gender identities that they did not identify with when they were alive and call yourself an ally. And no you do not get a free pass for this shit even if you're also nonbinary.

"Don't fucking misgender people and assume people's genders" is how to be an ally 101 and you fucking people can't even manage that

Feinberg stated in a 2006 interview that her pronouns varied depending on context:

For me, pronouns are always placed within context. I am female-bodied, I am a butch lesbian, a transgender lesbian—referring to me as "she/her" is appropriate, particularly in a non-trans setting in which referring to me as "he" would appear to resolve the social contradiction between my birth sex and gender expression and render my transgender expression invisible. I like the gender neutral pronoun "ze/hir" because it makes it impossible to hold on to gender/sex/sexuality assumptions about a person you're about to meet or you've just met. And in an all trans setting, referring to me as "he/him" honors my gender expression in the same way that referring to my sister drag queens as "she/her" does.

[genderqueerdykes]

I see you getting asks about the line between transmasc and transfemme when nonbinary people transition and I just thought I'd pop by and share a bit about my partner (she/he/they) She lived as a trans woman for 8 years and was happy being a bit of a tomboy but some years into our relationship decided to detransition (sadly, employment related) even though they're amab, they're getting 2nd puberty like a trans man would, and being ftm myself I can see the similarities. 1/2

2/2 I think it's perfectly reasonable to describe their experience as being both trans femme and trans masc, and I've been able to help him with binding and explaining the name on his IDs, etc. It was a tough choice but he's really embracing the new changes while still keeping the things he loved about being a girl (namely makeup, jewelery, and collecting girly things like dolls, witchy stuff, etc) just love getting to see them be themselves <3 semantics and discourse have nothing on happiness

first of all, i just wanted to say thanks for stopping by and sending this! this is literally one of the most awesome asks i've gotten, i really enjoyed reading this!

your partner is literally so cool, and yes i would definitely say she falls under a transfemme & transmasc experience! i'm glad that they are getting to love things the way they want to, without feeling forced into a strict binary! he is so cool for embracing all of these parts of herself and being who they want to be! i want you to tell her that they are literally so fucking rad

if they ever need help feel free to ask! i wish them luck with having to present as amab and everything like that, and going through some of the transmasculine experience like binding and explaining her name and whatnot! take care, both of you, good luck in your journeys! thanks for stopping by!

[tumblunni]

Also I actually do really like that Silver got an androgenous design without having a “reason”. Like uuhh, what i mean is the idea of him being cutesy and ‘feminine’ just cos his fashion sense is androgenous, and such. Anime tends to go all-in with the gender essentialism and be like ‘must have stereotypically gendered personality of the opposite gender’ instead of even just.. person looks like neither.. might have stereotypes of neither. And i mean in real life there are plenty of LGBT or gender non-conforming people who might be a dude with long hair who’s a tough sports fan, or a short haired girl who likes feminine hobbies or whatever. or just no correlation whatsoever between how you like to dress and what gender stereotypes you do or don’t have. Man when I was a kid I always felt weirdly pressured to enjoy sports and stop finding pet bunnies cute or else lose my ‘tomboy card’. aka the closest thing 90s era kids ahd to a conception of what being transgender is, lol. (man i wonder if i could have missed so many years of self hate if i grew up on today’s cartoons that have more canoncical non-negatively portrayed LGBT characters...)

Oh and also randomly a chance to mention how much i love Crona from Soul Eater, again! A canonical non-binary hero who’s 100% just portrayed as a normal person who exists and is nonbianyr. No overblown weird obsession with ‘uwu how sexay its a boy in a dress’ or ‘omg how weird we cant tell what gender it is’ or ‘omg stereotypical flambouyant scary gay tropes applied to a trans person who isnt really actually nonbinary but just comes off that way because this author somehow thinks that being gay and being trans are the same thing, and also that trans women are something less than full women’. And seriously Crona doesn’t have any steroetypical personality of either gender, and is a REALLY REFRESHING case of a socially anxious character being portrayed without either kind of weird gendered stereotype anime seems to have. Like the ‘uwu sexy helpless child’ if it’s a female characetr, or the ‘gross creepy nerd’ or ‘is allowed to perv on everyone because ha ha he doesnt realise he’s doing anything wrong’ version for male characters. Nah just.. shy person. Exists. Actual realism. Nothing else. kinda wish we could give more of this to the cis characters too, yknow? like seriously even nowadays we only tend to see ‘subversion! this anxious woman is actually gross and otaku instead of sexy!’ or whatever. just flipping the script instead of thinking ‘hey maybe we could write this personality like a personality instead of a pile of prewritten lines that nobody actually says in real life?’ ALSO ALSO!! I really like how Crona’s plot actually goes out of its way to subvert the idea of ‘must have a reason to be gender non-conforming’. Like there’s soooo much ‘this girl was forced to act like a boy because contrived circumstance and is really cis’ or ‘this character is just super depraved and thats why they act queer’ or ‘this character isnt human and their species is all nonbinary and thats the only reason they’re nonbinary’ or ‘this character got in a magic space rays accident that gave him a female body even though he was born cis, and him still identifying as male is thus kinda the opposite of what being trans is, yet we simulteanously use it as a chance to Talk About Why Trans Is Scary’. like the big sad twist of Crona’s plot is that they ARENT some magical created homunculus which would be an ‘excuse’ for being genderless. Its supposed to be a huge ‘holy fuck let me hug you’ moment when you find out they were actually the villain’s actual child that she experimented on as a toddler to turn them into a weapon. And like they also give a resounding no to the ‘crona identifies as genderless because they are two people in one body' thing because ragnorok is male. The actual creepy homunculus demon blood thing is the one who’s cis! Reminds me of how pissed off i get whenever people throw around the false fact that “Qus are a genderles species” in final fantasy 9. No, Quina is the only one who gets neutral pronouns, and the other two we meet of this magical fantasy species are both male. Quina is queer within the game’s world as well as ours! Also incidentally for some reason Quale was changed to female in certain european countries? I wonder why that even happened because he’s male in japanese too. Like thats an actual decision someone made, not a mistake. Maybe someone out there in the dubbing team crossed paths with my Really Weird Evidenceless Headcanon That Quan is Quale’s Ex Boyfriend and decided to pull a crusadermon censorship on him. Also that was funny because Crusadermon was a male-only species for ages in japanese, and female-only in english, so then when the japanese continuity introduced a female Crusadermon in one of the videogames it would give her an entirely different impression in the dub. Like the twist of her identity was way less surprising because we never had this perception of this species of magical robot monster as being male only. Though it was still a pleasant surprise in both versions to see a female alphamon! or transgender themes with a character who switched identity from male to female upon becoming human? it wasn’t super clear but either way she’s awesome!

OKAY IVE GONE ON EIGHTY TANGEANTS OKAY BYE

whatever in summary this is my reasons for still giving redesign-silver an androgenous fashion sense whenever he’s in different outfits, even though his hairstyle got shortified. You Have Implied The Potential LGBT Relateability, You Can No Longer Remove It. Also him and gold is a really cute ship in the manga, so i can’t not see him as gay/bi/pan. Every Route Leads To LGBT For This Man, Sorry You Cannot Stop It. ALSO crona and quina are great characters also, even if they have nothing in common with silver so this post is a big ol ramble of nothing i guess New Pokemon News just made me really hyper!

[winterywitch]

anyway heres a summary of my discourse beliefves:

cishet aces/aros do not belong in gay spaces, bi spaces, lesbian spaces or trans spaces

for me my whole life the LGBT community has been more than that. my perspective is not that of some sad brainwashed child, forced into being more ~tolerant~ than i should be. i genuinely believe and have always believed the LGBT community is more than that, and im not just gonna drop that anytime soon, because i dont think the right to only consider the LGBT community as for “SGA and trans” people is liberation.

therefore cishet aces/aros belong in ace/aro spaces, which for me, count as LGBT.

but not gay, bi, lesbian or trans spaces.

there will be overlap because they are LGBT. but no, cishet aces/aros should have no claim to anything specifically for the L, G, B or T of the community.

for me the community is

Lesbians

Gay men

Bisexuals [SGA or not - as an SGA bi person, i get to speak on this.

Pansexuals

Trans people

Nonbinary people [counting agender, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc. non-cis, non-binary identities]

Intersex people (of course should they want to - the point of this list isn't YOU HAVE TO BE LGBT it's You Can Be Included)

Queer people [anyone who isn't cis or isn't het, including aroace people. non sga bi people im a little iffy on re: them 'reclaiming' queer]

Allies [i think this is important for people in the closet, as long as we dont let cishets get too big for their britches]

Aroaces

and hell, here’s a + to include anything i might have forgotten

aroaces are not functionally cishet.

straight privilege is straight privilege. it isnt not-homophobia privilege. to experience straight privilege you must be straight.

they definitely benefit from not experiencing homophobia. they can be absolute dumbasses abt homophobia for that exact reason.

but they dont experience straight privilege, because they’re not straight. that is all straight privilege has ever meant for me in my LGBT community.

cishet aces are cishet, and also aces. this means they benefit from cis privilege and straight privilege, but aphobia weighs down that straight privilege because they dont perform straightness in the Right way. i dont believe this necessarily makes them systemically oppressed the same way we are. but i dont believe aro or ace identities are privileged either.

there is no coherent Ace Community boogieman that is unanimously a bunch of homophobic, transphobic, racist jackasses, and if you believe that, you are a complete dumbass

yeah, the ace community is comprised of white cishets but, im gonna wager even more commonly, its comprised of literally every LGBT identity and race you can imagine. the ace community is not the white cishet community. it’s the community of everyone who IDs as ace or aro. this is not white cishets as a rule, as a majority, or even half the time.

that being said, inclusionists can say some stupid, shortsighted shit sometimes that is completely ignorant of LGBT history/oppression. i dont agree with the implications that i dont stand for every single thing they say and will not be held accountable for every single thing they say.

similarly, unless you wanna be held accountable for every single thing your side says/does before being allowed to call us out, uh, dont expect the same of us. the onus for this is on exclusionists, i have been around long enough to know you guys started this one. it is up to you guys to start being decent on that one, and then we’ll follow suit. those of us who dont are jackasses.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their abuse or rape took place. that is called gaslighting, and no, you don’t get to throw a fit when someone calls this what it is. when you call a rape/abuse survivor an annoying disgusting freak for daring to talk about why their rape/abuse happened (since they factually know why it happened and you dont) and then proceed to insist that your headcanon of their trauma is the correct interpretation and theirs is not because theyre a filthy cishet ace (which they rarely are), that is quite literally the definition of gaslighting. and hey, don’t do it.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their parents forced them into Therapy Specifically Designed To Convert Them Away From Asexuality (which may have a more efficient, shorter name). you dont know how that therapy worked or how the therapist worked because you werent there. you dont know that it was only because of homophobia so therefore this person has no right to claim their own trauma.

not everyone you hate is a cishet ace. don’t call people cishet aces unless you know for a fact they are cishet aces. i imagine you wouldnt want to call a trans lesbian a cishet, which exclusionists have done too many times for me to count. your platform should not be “you said something stupid and harmful, youre a cishet ace,” it should be “you said something stupid and harmful, end of statement.”

for some reason this is a controversial point in some discourse circles, but no one owes you sex. your partners don’t owe you sex. relationships do not equal sex. relationships do not even equal romantic love. relationships are a decision between multiple people on closer emotional intimacy.

if romantic and sexual aspects of a relationship are necessary for you, that’s understandable and okay! but you aren’t OWED that. people don’t need to out themselves as aro or ace for you. people dont need to feel pressured to give you anything they dont want to give. and you dont need to stay in relationships that dont make you happy.

allosexual privilege is not real. no one but white cishet men are 100% celebrated and privileged for experiencing sexual attraction. even white cishet women are oppressed for their attraction in many ways, and repressed from early childhood - so you can imagine how absolutely horrific sex-based oppression is for the LGBT community. we are not celebrated for sexual attraction, we are treated like we are dirty, and we are sexual predators.

WITHIN THE COMMUNITY, yeah, sometimes we are definitely, blatantly favored over aces, and people run around saying asexuality is unnatural, and sexual attraction is what makes us human. this is harmful and damaging, and it shouldn’t happen. i dont consider it systemic oppression and it definitely does not make allosexual privilege a thing.

calling people allosexuals is not something i condone. its not comparable to “cis” as a label, because cis people are an actual oppressor class towards trans people - non-ace LGBP folks are not towards ace people.

intracommunity bigotry is real and it is traumatic. people devalue it constantly and pretend it’s just a slap on the wrist, but it is an absolutely traumatic thing to have to face every day of your life. but it isnt the same as OPPRESSION, and we dont have to conflate the two concepts for intracommunity bigotry to be treated with the seriousness it deserves.

similarly, dont call people REGs unless they are not only aphobes but also truscum or TERFs. i also personally dont really believe in equating aphobes with truscum/TERFs but i dont believe in silencing trans people who openly talk about the similarities, either.

dont call people AERFs unless youre a trans woman holy shit

as someone who was directly affected by the truscum discourse when it happened [not debatable, by the way], this is pretty much recycled truscum discourse in my eyes. you dont need to lecture me on how its not.

just because someone on the “other side” called something you did ableist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc., does not mean you get to shut your eyes and plug your ears. ESPECIALLY if you are part of a privileged class relevant to that accusation. for example as a white exclusionist you dont get to ignore the concerns of inclusionists of color or lecture them on the racism of the ace community. for example as a cis inclusionist [or honestly, even just a non-trans-woman inclusionist] you dont get to ignore the concerns of trans exclusionist women or lecture them on the similarities between TERFs and exclusionists.

“aspec” is not exclusively for the autistic community and i have NEVER seen claims that it was until ace discourse started. thats transparent as fuck to me and youre not fooling anyone. dont just make shit up lmfao

jokes about how Oh Lol Cringe aces inherently are, arent funny especially considering how many of these Jokes are steeped in anti-autistic ableism

idk when this happened but recently ableist jokes are the new Hot Topic of Comedy and thats like, mind-numbingly bad

i dont care what side youre on, IF YOU ARE USING THINGS LIKE FICTIONAL CP/PEDOPHILIC SHIPS/INCEST/RAPE CONTENT TO COPE WITH YOUR TRAUMA, YOU BETTER BE DOING THAT SHIT IN PRIVATE, ONLY SHARING IT WITH LIKE-MINDED, ADULT SURVIVORS, AND NEVER LETTING THAT CONTENT CIRCULATE OUTSIDE OF THAT GROUP. end of story. no ifs, ands or buts about it. speaking as a survivor who uses stuff like this to cope, being a survivor does not give you a free pass to, inadvertently or not, contribute to the pedophilia and circulation of grooming material on the internet. it is your RESPONSIBILITY as a survivor to not continue that cycle. if you avoid that responsibility, you have no right to play victim or pull the “im a survivor ;-;” card when people call you out on this.

educating kids on asexuality is not pedophilia, grooming or sexual abuse. jesus christ lmfao you dont have to assume people word it in a way thats inappropriate or predatory just because theyre pro-ace. kids NEED label/identity options, they are discovering who they are and without a label that fits for them, theyll likely feel like shit. let them have their labels. knowing about asexuality might greatly improve their life if it fits them!

for this reason, stop being weird about mogai labels/trying to “ban” them from everyone’s vocabulary/trying to turn them into some Cringe Joke that is only about Cishets Trying To Be Special. they didn’t fuck over EVERYONE.

inclusionists, in advising kids and questioning people who ask you for answers, be more open-ended. the insistence of “oh youre not a lesbian you’re a quioromantic demi-homosexual!” without also making it ok to just be a lesbian is what hurt and confused so many people on their journey to discovering their identity and its why they resent the whole mogai thing, fairly so. make it okay to just be a lesbian, or just be gay, or just be bi, or just be trans, while letting people know their other, more specific options.

asexuality is not an NSFW or TMI orientation

ace headcanons arent INHERENTLY homophobic, racist or ableist. they absolutely can be and ive seen that shit with my Own Two Eyes [pure innocent baby ace autistic papyrus headcanons back in the undertale fandom (shudders)], but they are not INHERENTLY so.

headcanons for characters with marginalized identity labels that arent identical to the ones you headcanon that character with are not oppression. and you dont get to police this shit as if its factually wrong

absolutely zero sexual interactions with minors ever, thanks!

trying to Bother The Pure Aceys by talking about sex is unacceptable

posting bullshit in ace positivity tags is unacceptable

stop calling people doing nothing but talking about their experiences “freaks”???

dont engage in the whole Oh There Are Valid Identities And There Are Special Snowflake Identities thing its not a very good look

biphobia is its own thing independent of homophobia

biphobia perpetuated within the community isnt necessarily systemic oppression but its traumatic and wrong and shouldnt be treated like some Lol Cringe Joke

you cant just say UM THAT LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENS???? when someone calls your side out on shit lgfkhghgfh especially when it literally does, all the damn time

ace [IRL person, whether or a celebrity or god forbid a flat out bigot] moodboards arent funny

you shouldnt agree to sex that you as an ace person dont want in a situation that you can control if the sex happens or not, but the pressure to provide sex to a non-ace partner is very real. stop blaming ace ppl for that pressure lol speaking as a victim of coercive sexual abuse, you cannot blame the one who didnt want it, even if they COULD have spoken up.

you’re not a bad person for wanting sex if your ace partner doesn’t. there is nothing immoral about not being ace. you just dont get to have sex anyway and you arent owed it if you are set on this committed, monogamous relationship - if sex is a big deal to you, you need to leave that relationship or work out an open situation.

laughing off peoples’ experiences as The Discourse is completely unacceptable, it encourages people to shut up and never analyze themselves and their identities

its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the ace character is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their non-ace partner

similarly its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the non-ace partner is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their ace partner

you dont get to tell people “ok you identify as heteroflexible but ACTUALLY you’re [insert identity]” literally ever, i understand the concern with people using “safe” identity labels to avoid facing their LGBT identities but acting on that concern in that way is not concern, its concern-trolling and its not fuckin okay.

legitimizing your own identity by delegitimizing the identities of others is bad

DO NOT, AND I REPEAT, DO NOT, BLANKET-TERM PEOPLE AS QUEER, LITERALLY EVER. DONT DO IT

DONT FUCKIN DO IT!!!!! NOT EVERYONE HAS RECLAIMED THAT SLUR, AND IT IS 100% A SLUR ON TOP OF BEING A CULTURE WITHIN THE COMMUNITY

JESUSS CHRIST DONT FUCKIGN DO IT!!!! WHEN YOU REFERENCE THE QUEER COMMUNITY YOU BETTER ONLY MEAN PPL WHO CALL THEMSELVES QUEER AND HAVE RECLAIMED IT/ARE PART OF THAT SUBCULTURE

we need more nonsexual, non-alcoholic spaces for LGBT folk that are safe for minors, trauma survivors and ace people, but thats not our fault, the prevalence of sexual and alcoholic spaces exists because we were literally not allowed to exist anywhere else until very, VERY recently, and even now it’s a Barely thing

you cant tell someone their experiences didnt happen like my god

we think ace discourse is about more than cishets because exclusionists make it about asexuality as a whole. you guys cant make it about more than cishets and then be like But Ok It’s Just About Cishets You IRrational Crazies?? :/

yes self harm through exposing oneself to the discourse tag is possible, no it’s not funny, no it’s not just ~cishets~doing that, triggers are not exclusive to PTSD survivors, shut the actual fuck up

you dont have any room to comment on the validity of quasiplatonic relationships if you’re not in one, most of the time you guys complaining about them and saying theyre Special Snowflake Things dont actually know what they are. mind your own business lol let people live

if youre not intersex, you dont get to tell people that the intersex community doesnt wanna consider itself LGBT, so they are wrong for saying intersex people are allowed to consider themselves LGBT. youre not being a good ally. sit down, shut up and let intersex people talk amongst themselves.

[to be added to at some point im sure]

asexuals STOLE dragons from CHILDREN to make themselves seem PURE AND INNOCENT, the MONSTERS

[diamantcowboy]

nobody gives a FUCK what you think bc you support conversion therapy and corrective rape. males cannot be lesbians bc lesbian is the word for a female homosexual and a homosexual is someone exclusively attracted to the opposite sex. i do not protect males and bisexual women appropriating the term lesbian to harass lesbians for not being attracted to the opposite sex. get a new word. make your own spaces. sexual orientation is based on biological sex and you're an ignorant homophobe.

TW!! RAPE MENTION AND CURSING

congrats on being my first anon hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glad to know I’m popular!!

for future reference all anon hate must be written in a proper public forum debate case format so it may be easier to rebut. Organizing your argument into contentions makes everything so much better, and I will be happy to provide you with an example. 

Contention 1-  Conversion Therapy and Corrective Rape.

Conversion therapy and corrective rape are horrible monsters that  affect the entire LGBTQ+ community and it is an unfair to suggest that trans women do not experience these things and are worse involved in the rape and torture of innocent members of the community. This is a mentality that not only supports the idea that Trans people are “evil” but the idea that trans people are rapists, when in reality, one in two trans women will be sexually harassed or raped at some pint in her lifetime. I would also like to point out that you are accusing a 14 year old Nonbinary lesbian of being pro conversion therapy, when I have many friends who were forced into conversion therapy.

Contention 2- Sex and Gender and why the TERF mentality is inherently misogynistic.

To put it bluntly the TERF mentality is that Vagina = Woman and the vagina is inherently a feminine tool used for sex specifically with said TERF. A woman with a Penis confuses a TERF. “if woman have no vagina how do woman have sex with me? Woman with penis is not woman”. Same goes ofr trans men. A Man with a Vagina confuses a TERF because the terf only enjoys the company of a woman and women “enjoy” the TERFs company. because to a TERF Woman= Vagina and this man has a Vagina “Terf is Angry Terf want sex with vagina” Essentially a TERF views her dating pool as a bunch of vaginas. This is not what you should want in a pardner and this is not the pardner you want to be. Women come in many different forms and each on is beautiful and unique. The Terf mentality also erases Lovely intersex people.

Contention 3-.Don’t tell people what they can and cannot fucking call themselves Linda.

If I am comfortable with being Non Binary and comfortable in the  fact that I almost exclusively love women then I am allowed to call myself a non binary lesbian. All of us beautiful trans sisters and Nonbinary buddies who are also lesbians will not stop because some shitty Terf on the internet is uncomfortable with having acknowlenge the fact that women arent just vaginas told them that they her invading her community. News flash asshole, this commuity is for alll different kinds of LGBTQ friends and we dont really need further bullying in our lives to remind us that we belive you are shitty and kinda gross/ thx!!

in conclusion fuck you

[8u0]

a part of me worries that the current surge in representation and support for nonbinary people will inevitably wane with the news cycle and a lot of people for whom they/them pronouns and other signifiers of nonbinary gender are important/useful (largely, teens and early 20′s folks, who haven’t transitioned medically / don’t want to) will start to feel burned out, and stop using them around many people - not because they’re cis or suddenly want to conform to binary gender norms, but because the demands of entering the workforce and existing in a rigid and transphobic culture force them to shrink those parts of their lives. Safe spaces are increasingly important to nb people because they give us a place where our gender matters to others - a place where “nonbinary” is a coherent identity that meaningfully explains how one relates to others.

I bring all of this up because it’s largely been my experience after leaving college. There are places in Brooklyn, LA, and other urban millennial enclaves where the kind of self-expression that a nonbinary person needs to feel Alive is valued and, well, relevant - but these places are fucking expensive! Being able to express nonbinary gender 24/7 and being able to afford to live in places where nonbinary people are accepted are Almost mutually exclusive things. 

I chose the isolating corporate 9-5, which shrinks the importance of identity to a point that it’s almost laughably irrelevant in the face of the money machine, so that I can afford to live here and be myself on weekends - under the cover of darkness, with the party people. My gender becomes real when it’s time to have fun, and when I move in the daylight I become a strange, sad, serious person, going through the motions of being a man. I can live this way, possibly indefinitely, in a perpetual state of compromise. Most adults in capitalist society are acutely familiar with alienation of some kind from the lives they want to live, so in this sense being a closeted nb person is not unique, but it is still stifling.

Our oppression is difficult to parse. It is an oppression by omission, by carelessness, baked into the social fabric of the spaces we must move through. It makes us invisible because we have no places to be visible, cut off from communities of others like ourselves to touch and dance with and share body heat with. It hurts to have to explain what “nonbinary” means, and in many ways it shouldn’t be a conversation that needs to be had. Gender-nonconformity should be an option that’s available to everyone in all social and work situations, no questions asked or weird looks or mocking laughter involved. But just as growing up and losing any creative time and energy to work is a fact of life for all people, for all but the most well-off and free among us, the act of creation that is simply performing our gender gets less pragmatic with time - is sacrificed in exchange for safety. I don’t think there’s anything I can do about that.

[classfuckingwarfare]

in the middle - 10/28/17

hi there. i’ve decided to move my old personal blog to here, and not have an “aesthetic” blog anymore. it just didn’t feel right. feel free to unfollow if you’d like i guess. but i guess i should say who i am now. well, my name is jaydon and i’m nonbinary. if you don’t know what that means, that’s okay, most people don’t. it’s not that it’s a “new” thing, it’s just not something that people talked about before recently, probably because they would have been locked up in insane asylums. but basically, nonbinary means that someone identifies as neither a boy or a girl. they could be both, neither, whatever. somewhere in the middle. i’m pretty young, so most people think that i’m just trying to be special when i tell them this. but honestly, i cant control the way i feel. and frankly, the people that think i want this are fucking crazy. like, do you really think i’m so desperate for attention that i would choose to be made fun of, told i’m not real or i’m unvalid, or be called a tranny or other things? why the fuck would i want that? believe me, if i could be cis, i would. but i can’t control this, it’s out of my hands. i can’t choose to wake up and feel feminine, masculine, both, or neither. i wish i could, but i can’t, and there’s literally millions of people who feel the same way. so, instead of making us feel like absolute shit, society needs to accept that gender isn’t a binary, it’s a spectrum, and stop forcing people to conform to masculinity or femininity. people are who they are, and that’s out of their hands. get over it.