#stoner!remus

[ddejavvu]

For mvm!! Grumpy dealer Remus x sunshine r !!!!! Remus is being the biggest softie when r is over and the boys are so confused like “where is the real Remus???’ But he’s still super pissy with them telling Sirius to shut up but then turning around and showering your face in kisses :( I love him

"Remus," You whimper, clutching at the part of his shirt that lays over his chest, bunching the fabric up in your fists.

"Yes, dove?" He hums, eyes instantly off of the television screen and on you, "What's the matter, darling?"

"My feet are cold," You complain, wriggling them where they've slipped out from under the blanket Remus covered you both with, "I can't reach."

Remus can't either. You're sitting against his chest, you're actually closer than he is, but he holds a hand against your back to keep you up, careful of the lit joint he's pinched between two fingers, and bends forward to fix it anyways.

He fluffs the blanket back over your toes, straining to reach as he tucks it beneath your heels. Then he glances back up at you, still stretched, "Good?"

"Good," You give your feet an experimental wiggle, and the blanket stays put, "Thanks, Rem."

"Fucking ridiculous," A scoff cuts through your couple's reverie, and Remus's jaw goes stiff as he straightens back up to settle against the cushions.

"Oh, really, Sirius?" He brings the joint to his lips, making a show of blowing smoke in Sirius's direction, "Do tell." Remus wraps an arm protectively around your front, staring the man down.

"Remmy," James croons, leaning into Sirius's side with shiny, pleading eyes, "My toesie-woesies are cold."

"Oh, my darling," Sirius gushes, throwing a hand over his forehead in typical dramatic fashion, "That simply won't do. Allow me, princess."

"Ah, thank you!" James breathes again in that airy, ditzy voice he's put on, clutching tight at Sirius's chest, "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Keep talking," Remus drawls, lips morphing once more around the end of his joint, "But remember, you're smoking my weed, on my couch, that my girlfriend and I just had sex on."

Their faces drop, and Sirius points warily to a cushion, "Like, you had sex- here?"

"Twenty minutes ago," Remus shrugs, blowing smoke away from you and leaning in to kiss your temple as you try disappearing from his friends' incredulous gazes, "And last I checked, you fuckers didn't."

[remusslove]

Stoner!lily or Remus mixing the ouid with lavender to help you sleep <33

Awww this is so adorable (hope you don’t mind I did innocent!reader but if you did I can defined redo it<3)

“What’s wrong doll you should be asleep.” Remus said smushing his cigarette on the ashtray beside him as you walked towards the couch.

He was rolling some blunts for his hangout tomorrow with Sirius and James. Whenever they visited he made them smoke cigarettes near the window so you couldn’t inhale the smoke.

“M’ can’t sleep” you mumbled making yourself comfortable in his lap causing him to sigh before pulling a tiny ziploc bag out of his pocket. “What’s that?” You asked curiously. “Dried lavender princess, for you” he answered making you raise an eyebrow.

“Here princess, smoke this.” He said placing a kiss on your forehead as he held the blunt near your lips. You sat up with a nervous look on your face. “Are you sure remmy? M’ never smoked before”

“I know princess, but it’ll help you sleep mkay?”He said as his dazed eyes met yours. You nervously opened your mouth making him chuckle and place the already lit blunt in your mouth.

You exhaled a little trying to untense your shoulders before taking a large inhale. You gasped before coughing loudly earning laughter from Remus.

He reached for the bottled water on the table and holding it up to your mouth. “You have to do it slowly bunny” be clarified as you took a gulp of the water he was currently holding for you.

He put the blunt back in your mouth and you slowly inhaled. You exhaled after a quick second and let the smoke fly out of your mouth.

“Like that remmy?” You asked him. He nodded placing a kiss on your cheek. A few minutes later you were fighting to hold your eyelids open which of course, didn’t get un noticed by the scar covered boy watching you.

“I think it’s time for bed bunny” he said making you pout. “But m’ wanna stay with youuu” you whined rubbing your eyes and letting out a little yawn. “Your too spoiled sometimes y’know that?” he commented making you giggle.

[fourthemarauders]

Regulus remus sirius and james eating edibles and walking around looking for James for over an hour

[kawaiibarty]

HELLO HIII

which of the marauders would be most likely to be caught smoking weed in a public bathroom do u think?

obviously remus. mf thinks he's slick but oh, it's the wet blanket getting high in a public restroom clad in corduroys and fucking old man sweaters.

he'd smile all dopey like "oops, you got me" but when he comes down from that high he is highkey panicking because hE CAN'T GET ARRESTED HE HAS A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD

james doesn't smoke weed. he's more of an edibles kinda guy and sirius prefers alcohol so most of the time he does the zaza at home or with friends

peter never gets caught. ever. he's the guy that the guy who told you he knows a guy is talking about.

[sweetiecutie]

Ok, but hEAR ME OUT:

Stoner!Remus Lupin teaching his significant other to roll joints and making fun of her every time she chokes or gets a little too high.

WELL??? What do ya think??? 😏

A/n: do you read my mind???? Bc I was thinking about stoner Remus just today!!!

Pairing: Remus Lupin x fem! Reader

Warnings: drug use but overall pretty harmless<3

- No, baby, you’re doing it wrong, - Remus chided softly, putting one of his huge hands on top of yours, stopping your movements. You whipped your head towards him, pouting in frustration - no matter how hard you tried, you just never succeeded to roll a joint, not even a crooked one. You always ended up spilling all of the weed out of the smoking paper, not even halfway through rolling.

He let out a small chuckle, taking a thin paper with dried leaves in the center of it, carefully out of your hands. Remus scooted closer to you on the couch so that your hips here pressed flush against each other; his torso slightly turned towards you, so that you got a full view of his actions.

- Look, you gotta roll it, not just smear weed all over the paper. You have to get the grip of the small line, wrap it into a tube, or whatever, and not flatten it all over the paper, - he said, his voice a bit deeper than usual, calming you better than any weed existing. His long finger worked diligently, yet slowly, to show you what he meant. Both his thumbs moved up and down, rolling herb up into a neat joint. He brought an almost ready cigarette towards your lips. - Lick.

You leaned in closer, bending slightly to drag the tip of your tongue over the free edge of the paper, wetting it with your saliva. Remus only hummed in approval, rolling the joint completely, sealing the paper. He put a joint in between his chapped lips, making quick job of retrieving a lighter from within the pocket of his huge baggy jeans and lighting the tip, inhaling deeply a few times to properly light it up.

Remus held bitter smoke in his lungs for a few second before exhaling slowly, his eyes watching grey smoke swirl intricate designs in the air. His bloodshot eyes darted towards you, smiling slyly. Lupin nodded his head towards the coffee table standing in front of you, where a small bag of weed along with thin cigarette papers and filters laid.

- Come on, princess. Try one more time, - he said, taking another deep drag of his joint.

You hesitated for a moment, before reaching out for a thin paper, taking a small amont of weed, placing it on the paper in a small line. You poked your tongue out in concentration, trying to follow Remus’ instructions - roll, not smear.

Remus couldn’t help but lean in closer - his face buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent deeply. He placed open-mouthed kisses all over the side of your neck, distracting you from your task.

- Remus, you’re not helping, - you whined, placing your cheek against his head, nuzzling it slightly. He just murmured something unintelligibly, but stopping nevertheless, just resting his head on your shoulder.

- Sorry, luv, - she said, brown eyes glued to your small pretty hands, working on the joint. After a whole minute of struggling, you did manage to roll a joint - far from perfect, but a solid joint nevertheless. You smiled triumphantly, licking the edge of the paper, sealing it securely.

- Ha! - you exclaimed proudly, holding out a rolled up joint towards Remus, smile wide on your pretty face.

- I’m proud of you, luv, - Lupin said, lifting his head from your shoulder, placing a warm kiss on your temple, than taking another hit of his own joint. He handed you his lighter; you grabbed it, lighting up your joint, taking a puff. A coughing fit shook through your body, eyes watering as you could hear Remus laughing slightly, his head coming back to rest on your shoulder. - Easy, don’t want you to faint.

Your eyes rolled at his teasing, taking another - this time smaller - hit of your joint. You reclined against the backrest of Remus’s comfy couch, wrapping free arm around his lanky figure. You placed a chaste kiss on top of his head, feeling him nuzzle deeper into your neck.

- Shut up. Or I’ll tell Sirius that it’s his weed we’re smoking right now, - you said, earning a mock gasp of shock out of Remus. You closed your eyes, feeling the drug already kicking in, relaxing your muscles and hazing up your mind.

You sat like this for a few minutes, occasionally taking a drag of your joints before you heard a front door opening and closing soon, Sirius’ w voice calling out “I’m home!”. Remus shoot up, gaping at you with wide panicked eyes.

- Oh shit-

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[lectric0onme]

Remus Lupin playing beer pong

but instead his glasses are big round shaped and filled with whisky. a rolled up cigarette half smoked between his lips, and another unlit rollie resting behind his ear.

White The Who shirt with holes in its sleeves and large jeans which have actually never seen better days.

he's got that cooked almost smile of when you're backed and he shots the alcohol from this big as f glass glasses

pls get my view

[munacy]

Weak

@wolfstarmicrofic

word count: 363

CW: recreational drug use

****

"This bud is weak," Sirius accuses.

"It most certainly is not," Remus says primly, but breaks with a stoned little giggle. "I would know, after all."

Sirius scowls. "I don't feel a thing, and I've taken, like, four hits!"

"You're just not used to hitting blunts, that's all," he reasons. "You're spoilt. Posh twat."

"Well, then, let's go grab Averill," Sirius retorts, standing up and ignoring the jibe. He's referring to the unisex name of their giant bong, transfigured to look like an innocent ficus.

"No, no," Remus protests, hastily pulling Sirius back down by his wrist. Their sides are flush with one another and impossibly warm despite the chill in the air. "Are you mad? We can't lug a giant potted plant all the way back to the Astronomy Tower, how would that look?"

Sirius harrumphs unhappily.

"Here...let me try something," Remus murmurs, a hesitant look in his butterscotch eyes.

Without looking away from Sirius, he brings the blunt to his parted lips and inhales deeply, then lifts his hand, long fingers resting on the side of Sirius' neck, thumb on his jaw.

Sirius freezes. His chest burns fiercely and his heartbeat screams in his ears. Remus moves in slowly, uncertainly, and still, Sirius manages to feel shock when their mouths meet, gasping slightly. Remus exhales into his open mouth, and the fingertips on Sirius' face dig in, and Sirius tastes smoke, lightning, honey, and his head spins even though he's not high yet, he swears.

Remus pulls away and Sirius stares at him with wide eyes as he breathes out a shaking, smoky exhale.

"Right, erm, I just thought that would help, possibly, er, get you higher, if, ah, I, y'know, like, baby-birded it to you."

Remus looks like a beet.

"Moony."

"Yes, Padfoot?" he sighs.

"...I'm not quite high yet." He's lying; he's on Neptune. He can almost hear the stunned disbelief in Remus' silence.

"Is that so?" Remus replies coyly after the pause.

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe we should try it again," Sirius babbles nervously.

Remus smirks.

This time, Sirius sees stars, and he's not sure whether to attribute it to his increasing insobriety or Remus' introduction of tongue.

[vxntagedior]

Remus x reader whos high and hiper sexual at a Party 

warning: 18+ minors dni, smut, hyper sexual!reader, high!reader

"please remmy, want more." you clung onto him.

the two of you were able to sneak away at the house party remus hosted, you were already high and always got hyper-sexual when you were high.

"you take what i give you." remus squeezed your hips harder.

you mewled, hiding your face in his neck filling that familiar knot form in your stomach.

"you gonna cum baby." remus whispered in your ear. hearing you let out a muffled yes, remus's hand came between your two bodies, rubbing your clit.

"cum for me baby."

[teecrescent]

[ddejavvu]

hiii can i request a dealer!remus x reader where someone hit her and she’s at a party and when he arrives it’s the whole who did this to u and she’s just really drunk and hugs him cause she’s scared? love u

"It was an accident," Your voice is shaky as you try placating Remus, but the man's face is dark beyond recognition.

"Really, Y/N?" He gushes, voice rough and caustic, "It was an accident? Someone gave you a black eye on accident?"

"Don't yell at me," You try to sound authoritative, but you're begging, "Remus, they were just talking, and I got too close to them, and- and they were drunk! So they were uncoordinated, and their hand just-"

"I'm sorry," Remus grumbles, hands landing softly on your shoulders and bringing them down from around your ears, "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have raised my voice. I just want to know who did this to you."

"Someone who didn't mean to," You sniffle, "Please, Remus, don't do anything. I just want to go home, now."

You can tell it takes him a tremendous amount of restraint to give in. He cares about you and your wishes, you know that, but the urge to avenge your bruise tries winning out.

"Please," You nearly sob, burying your aching face in Remus's chest and wrapping your arms around his middle, "Please, Remus, just take me home."

"Okay," He relents, arms smoothing down your back and hoisting you up with hands anchored below your thighs.

"O-kay," He hums, feeling your face, heated and teary press into his neck, "It's okay, dove. I'll take you home, it's okay."

"Promise you won't try to find the guy?" You warble into his skin, and Remus's blood briefly boils at the knowledge that it was, in fact, a man that had hit you.

"Promise," He grits his teeth and chokes the word out, staying focused on navigating the poorly lit house party instead of scanning the crowd for your accidental-assailant, "I'll stay with you the whole night, dove, I swear it."

[remusslove]

Hihi Hru x ? I had an idea reader with yes more stoner rem and lily and it’s ther first time you meet them at a party <3 take it how you want like how it would end but yeah :))

There you were. In your cute little outfit that Remus for some reason just couldn’t stop looking at. “She’s a cute one isn’t she?” Lily chimed in making him nod as she took another sip of alcohol.

He set down the cigarette he was currently smoking on the ashtray before making his way to you. “Oh sorry!” You exclaimed after bumping into him.

“It’s alright love, may I ask your name?” He said hoping you would at least make small talk with him. “Y/n, what’s yours?” You smiled at the tall boy grinning at you.

“Remus. Remus lupin.” He replied making you blush ridiculously. “And im evans. Lily evans.” Lily commented holding her hand out with a grin placing her other hand on his shoulder. You giggled shaking her hand as well.

[maraudersmary]

who do u think r the stoners of the group??

i think remus, lily, pete, and dorcas

they’re like fucking it up behind the greenhouses everyday - pete’s always got the best stuff and doesn’t want to be interrupted or have to give some to anyone else except his circle of favourote stoners

the others will smoke a bit here and there but not like these bitches

[del-stars]

every time i smoke i feel like remus lupin

[mea-laetitia]

So I’m reviving my Jegulus Triwizard Tournament AU fic! I’m super excited about it I have big plans for it hehe the first chapter is up right now and here is a little preview of chapter 2. Enjoyyyy!

-

The Marauders had never found it so easy to score weed than they had that night. Now that Sirius and Regulus were reunited, they had an almost unlimited supply. James couldn’t remember exactly when, but at some point Regulus had become the school’s unofficial weed dealer, growing batches under his bed with some strange magical lights as well as somewhere off in the forbidden forest that no one else was privy to. Until now, they had been fortunate enough to procure what little they had, albeit very rarely; Regulus had always favoured Remus for they had a shared love of muggle literature. Who knows how that was discovered, James never bothered to ask, but Remus would occasionally turn up after studying in the library with a telltale grin and a small black bag he had charmed to be void of smell. How he managed it, James didn’t care. As long as they had weed, he was happy, and now they were positively rolling in it and he was absolutely over the moon.

“Merlin bless your brother Sirius.” He sighed wistfully as he finished rolling up the fattest joint of his life.

They were sat in their usual smoke spot overlooking the Black Lake, the shared bounty between them was larger than it ever had been, and they had decided there was no better way to celebrate the commencement of their final year of school than to smoke in excess, something they had seldom been able to do before.

Peter’s own was several times smaller than the rest of theirs. He hadn’t smoked since fifth year, when he had horribly greened out and swore it off for the rest of his life. But Sirius was not about to let him miss this golden opportunity.

“What was the point in me reuniting with my brother if you’re just going to let it go to waste?”

James didn’t see fit to mention that it certainly wouldn’t have gone to waste if Peter didn’t join them. Peter high was a phenomenon he had sorely missed, for the boy would become a giggling mess and say some of the funniest things in the world that even while high James wasn’t sure his own mind could think of.

When they were all finished, they stuck their joints together in cheers and Remus used his wand to light them all at once.

“That is some good shit right there.” Sirius said proudly, relishing in exhaling his first puff.

Remus took another drag and peered at Peter with concern. “Okay so far Pete?”

The boy nodded almost too enthusiastically and took another puff that turned him into a coughing mess. James pat him roughly on the back a few times with a fond grin.

“Attaboy Wormy. More you cough the higher you get y’know?”

“That’s a total myth Prongs.” Remus rolled his eyes. “How would that even work?”

“It recycles it through your lungs.”

“Honestly listen to yourself mate.”

Five minutes later even Remus wasn’t making much sense. James leaned back against the tree they were sitting by, staring into the sky and wishing not for the first time that he was capable of taking his broom out for a fly right now, but any time he tried to form an intelligent string of thoughts he was reminded that that was most likely a terrible idea. The only downside of Peter’s newfound drug lust was that he could no longer take them each in turn for a fly on the back of his broom. Oh well.

“What’s even the difference between the stuff he grows outside versus under his bed?” James pondered aloud.

Sirius’ eyes were comically bloodshot. “I think the outside stuff he grows the muggle way, whereas the charmed lights and shit he uses for the inside weed makes it stronger. I think, he’s never actually told me.”

The four stared silently at the bank of the Lake as it lapped softly from whatever movement from a creature within stirred it.

“So what are we smoking right now?” Peter asked.

James examined his own joint as if he would be able to tell the difference just by looking. The ember at the end slowly devoured the weed, gradually making it smaller and smaller. He took a hasty drag so as not to allow it to all burn up.

“Muggle shit I reckon. He’s not been at Hogwarts long enough to have grown a proper batch of the good stuff yet. But he said the stuff he grew in the forest he just left there all summer, so I’ll bet he has an absolute motherload of it.”

The thought of Regulus tending to his plants makes James grin. He had never really pictured Regulus as being a person with his own life and hobbies, despite knowing for years that he had been doing this. But certainly, he must have been passionate about it enough to take the growing so seriously. James wonders what Regulus must be like when he smokes.

“He’s aggravatingly no different to when he’s sober.” Sirius replied, James hadn’t realized he wondered that question out loud. He thanks his good fortune that the sun has lowered enough by now that no one can see his burning face. Really, he shouldn’t care so much about his best friend’s twin, but the boy was fascinating to him, and now that he was allowed to mention him, he just couldn’t help himself.

“When did you smoke with Regulus?” Remus puzzled. “Surely your parents wouldn’t allow that under their roof?”

Sirius smirked. “When have my parent’s rules ever stopped me?”

“Fair.”

“Hey, the top of that tree looks like it’s flipping me off right now.” Peter pointed across the lake. “Is that just me?”

James laughed loudly and looked at the tree in question, which sat inoffensively still and very much was not flipping Peter off.

“You should go give it a piece of your mind mate. I wouldn’t let that slide.”

“I dunno, it looks pretty intimidating to me.” Remus grinned.

Sirius used his wand to relight his own joint and added. “Yeah Wormy be careful, you’re clearly on thin ice already.”

“What did I do to it?” Peter whined, throwing his head back in exasperation.

“Um, dude you’re literally smoking a fellow plant right now. That hash was probably it’s best friend.”

“WELL YOU’RE ALL SMOKING IT TOO!” Peter shouted defensively.

The other three laughed uproariously at their friend. Thank Merlin Peter was a stoner once again because James dearly missed fucking with him when he was high. After a few moments Peter cracked a grin and started to laugh as well, and even though James was utterly content he still couldn’t help the thought from creeping in that moments like these were in short supply now, a year from now they’d have to find a new smoke spot. Or maybe they’d all be separated doing different things with their lives.

James pushed the thought away, grateful that at least that was a year away. He could worry about that later. He took another drag and looked at his friends with a smile.

[lectric0onme]

no one could get me to stop thinking of my Remus x Xeno.

the healthiest friends with benefits relationship ever. It started bc they were both too high off their mind and got horny.

they're just bros who chill and, you know, chill.

[suckmymarauders]

any other stoner marauders fans getting zooted and imagining getting high with them….. cause if not i would highly recommend