maraudersmary

[maraudersmary]

[maraudersmary]

i just know sirius black has the craziest oldest siblings guilt ever and 100% convinced its his fault while also being hyperaware its not his fault at all

[maraudersmary]

me when im writing a fic and I look back at the plan to see whats next and its something the now developed character would never do...

where do i go from here

[maraudersmary]

Why do i have to write the inbetween bits in a fic why can't I just write the big plot points and the fall out of them!!! I'm here to make my characters suffer... that's the fun stuff to write (IMO). This is why I need to stick to one or two shots.

Anyway go check out forwards beckon rebound (pinned on my page)

[maraudersmary]

i’ve been so traumatised by the use of ‘to build a home’ in television shows that i just heard the first NOTE in this cm episode and tears sprung to my eyes

[maraudersmary]

season three gives us SO much of the iconic scenes like i’m three episodes in on my rewatch and already i’ve seen

- emily in the red tank top

- reid and morgan stuck in the elevator

- emily coming back after quitting and jj being unable to stop looking at her

like come onnnnn

[maraudersmary]

Just thinking about the intimacy behind a very soft and gentle "Let's get you home."

[maraudersmary]

Forwards beckon rebound chapter 2!

Sorry it's late! It turns out at uni you actually have to do work! who'd have thought???

[maraudersmary]

so i saw the last dinner party live last weekend (and it was the best concert i’ve ever been to) BUT the opening act was Kaeto and when i tell you i have never seen a more marauders coded group of people in my life

so naturally my desire to write a band au has been lit up once again here’s the plan:

the last dinner party - lily, mary, dorcas, pandora, emmeline

kaeto - marlene, james, sirius, peter

hozier - remus

guys it’s SO perfect

[maraudersmary]

I can’t hide from you like I hide from myself - Aaron Hotchner

who ~ aaron hotchner and jennifer jareau (platonic, could be romantic if you read it that way)

content warnings ~ panic attack, anxiety, depression, grief… Aaron is not okay

word count ~ 720

a/n ~ my favourite ever episode of holby city is group animal part one, so i decided to steal it and write it with Hotch as Jac Naylor, and JJ as Fletch. I doubt there is any Holby and CM fans, but if there are others, this is for you! Holby was my first ever hyperfixation, so i feel like this had to be done.

summary ~ Hotch isn’t able to hold himself together anymore, luckily JJ knows the signs.

~

‘Hotch?’ JJ asked with concern, despite knowing that what was coming was not going to be fun. She could run away now and leave someone else to deal with it. But she cared for this man too much. She couldn’t let him break alone.

‘Leave me alone.’ He said before even turning around. Hotch couldn’t do this now. He had to even himself out, present his façade again, despite how the steadily forming cracks had been exposing him more and more for weeks now. And he needed to be alone to do that. ‘Leave me alone.’ He repeated, with no real conviction behind it. He couldn’t stop this now, but he didn’t want anyone else seeing it.

JJ entered the room and moved up slowly behind him, not wanting to spook him and make things worse. ‘Okay breathe.’ She muttered, unsure of how to approach this.

‘You’re stressed, you’ve been through a lot.’ No one could deny that, not even Hotch himself. But the media liaison could never understand. Hotch valued her greatly, she kept the team running more than he did, but she wasn’t the one who made the calls that determined whether a victim would live or die. She wasn’t a profiler.

‘What would you know about it, you can’t understand.’ His breathing was becoming more erratic, fighting for air to get the words out.

JJ refused the sentiment, knowing this was a lot deeper than the case. She might not be able to read criminals like her colleagues, but she can read the people she loves. ‘I know you.’ She replies simply and quietly.

Hotch just couldn’t accept it. He knew what this was about and it wasn’t what JJ was thinking. It was just this case. ‘You’re not a profiler. You don’t know what it’s like!’

He was sobbing now, crying uncontrollably and battling his lungs to allow just a gulp of air. Everything he had been suppressing for months, years, was coming out, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

They were now facing each other, and JJ could see the exhaustion lining her boss’s face. She could see the hurt, the anger, the despondence, the sadness. The sadness was the worst. It was so ingrained in his features that she wasn’t sure he could ever look happy again. It broke her heart. ‘This isn’t about profiling.’

‘Everything’s about this! This job! If i don’t have profiling, I don’t have anything!’ Hotch rasped between gasps for breath. He was no stranger to panic attacks, but that didn’t help prevent the clawing at his chest and the desperation from oxygen.

JJ had to prove to Hotch that he had more than one reason. ‘You have Jack!’ JJ’s immediate response. But she knew it wouldn’t be enough. She reached out and grabbed his waist, steadying him. It was more intimate than they ever were despite the years of working together, but she knew it was what he needed now. ‘You think this is about the unsub? It’s not. This is about you, about what you’ve put yourself through.’ She knew it wasn’t his fault, he was hard wired to suppress in order to protect himself since he was a toddler. But he needed to unlearn these coping mechanisms. He needed to feel again. ‘Hotch this is everything! This is Jack! This is your father! This is Sean! This is Foyet!’ She paused, contemplating whether her next words would be her boss’s breaking point. He had collapsed onto her chest, fighting with his tears and his gasps. ’This is Hayley! You need to acknowledge it! You haven’t grieved! You haven’t let yourself process anything! You need to let yourself feel it!’

It was his breaking point, but that wasn’t a bad thing. She was now supporting Hotch’s whole weight as he let go of everything that had been pushed back and discarded. He needed this release more than anything. It had been building for weeks at least, and JJ had done everything she could to keep him together. Now she needed to let him crumble.

Rubbing small circles across his back, she uttered soft words of comfort, almost as she would Henry post nightmare. But right now it was all she could do as she watched someone she loved purging himself of his pain.

‘It’s alright. It’s okay.’

[maraudersmary]

Ummmm, i posted the first chapter!

So I have four chapters fully written and edited, the fifth being written now. Given I LOCK IN tomorrow during the day and actually do some uni work, I should be written up to chapter six by this time tomorrow. HOPEFULLY!!!

I really see some potential with this one and am gonna do my very best not to let it fall to the side! ALSO, this does not mean Time is on My Side is abandoned. No matter how sporadic the updates are, it is NOT and never will be abandoned. Same with this one I hope!

just found like 8 000 words (four chapters) and a whole plan of a marlene fic i started writing like a year ago and never touched again that i completely forgot about and reading it back… it’s not that bad??? i could definitely continue it and edit the previous chapters…

totally marlene centric with dorlene, jily, and wolfstar… modern au

lemme know if you want more details because i think im gonna try and go back to it

🤨🤨🤨

[maraudersmary]

just found like 8 000 words (four chapters) and a whole plan of a marlene fic i started writing like a year ago and never touched again that i completely forgot about and reading it back… it’s not that bad??? i could definitely continue it and edit the previous chapters…

totally marlene centric with dorlene, jily, and wolfstar… modern au

lemme know if you want more details because i think im gonna try and go back to it

🤨🤨🤨

[maraudersmary]

Forget JJ as the mom friend. She’s a mom, but she’s not the mom friend.

JJ is the one who forgets to eat dinner and Emily has to appear at her office door with food that isn’t Cheetos.

JJ lives off coffee, and blindly refills her cup not even keeping track of how many she’s had, even though she can tell you exactly how many case files she’s gone through whilst drinking them.

JJ knows how to comfort her kids when they need it, but says the wrong things to Spencer when she tries, and her attempts to diffuse Penelope’s problems with humour (which only sometimes lands) often fall flat. She’s intuitive enough for small, thoughtful gestures, but the only person (other than the boys) that she always says the right thing to is Emily, and that’s more about their connection than any kind of mothering instinct.

JJ is reckless. JJ doesn’t bully Emily into getting seen by medical professionals when she’s hurt because she knows it would make her a hypocrite. She’s fiercely protective of the BAU, but she also knows that her team can look after themselves, for the most part.

The one time she does try to “play mom” to someone, she ends up high on edibles. She’s not the mom friend, she’s just the friend who also happens to be a mom.

[maraudersmary]

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Time is on my Side - chap 24

GUESS WHAT

TIME IS ON MY SIDE IS BACK!!!!

a long chapter to make up for my long absence! if there is anyone still interested in this fic then I hope this lives up to your standards. more info in the end notes <3

[maraudersmary]

so i got bored and made another uquiz. which subtle way of saying "i love you" are you?