#still the ‘odd man out’ because I have things they lack like empathy and a fucking heart 👍

[anoddopal]

I need to talk about my Nasty Rotten Freaks™️ [☠️☠️☠️] or I’ll die—

[moxie-girl]

DRDT EP 13/14 ANALYSIS/THEORIES

I said I'd do this once I collected my thoughts! haha Warning! This is super long…

To start, I'm going to pick apart all the stuff I predicted for ep. 13 (I'll try not to make it too long…)

Levi's Secret

Well. Levi sure did admit to. All that! I think this eliminates any last doubts I personally had about him being the killer… (your honor just because I'm a serial killer doesn't mean I killed that specific person /ref) I really like that he isn't shown as a bad person just because he lacks empathy, and he's actually actively trying to be a good person… the fact that he just admitted his secret because he thought it was the right thing to do is so funny though, there go all my theories lol! (I'm still a little worried about rule 14 though…)

Ace's (Almost) Murder

Yeah!! This is probably what we're gonna spend episode 14 talking about, with murder method and alibis, etc. I still don't think it was Nico though! (I want to say I called that it'd be relevant, but it felt a little obvious…)

The Murder Method

I think we can say this has been all figured out, with the method being exactly what several people much smarter than me all figured out.

The Possible Culprits

Rose was still acting a little odd, but I think Whit on the other hand, despite whatever all that was, is off the hook for now, so my number 1 suspect is still Hu! I'm like 90% sure she was the one who tried to kill Ace, at least, and that's become very important now!

Secrets

Well, we got all the secrets figured out! (Hu :( ) The fandom interpretation was pretty much correct, except for Teruko's (we'll get to that later…) I do hope that after this trial, some of the secrets that are not relevant/haven't really been discussed do get adressed, because I could even see them becoming motives for murder again. But also, I just want the characters to talk about them! (gimme that juicy juicy angst…)

Ace

He didn't re-open his injury or really freak out like I expected, but we got some vulnerability (and a new sprite!) from Ace, and considering next episode is probably gonna focus a ton on him, I'm still expecting at least one of the two to happen…

Teruko

Luckily for Teruko, we didn't have anything unlucky happen to her this episode! But she sure did get her time in the protag spotlight anyway, I'm glad she didn't let the mistake from last episode get her down!

☆ ☆ ☆

Also, my bingo card! I got a bingo!! (ft. my messy tiny notes if you want to read them)

A few of my other bingo predictions I'm still going to hold on to for the next (few) episodes, but now, onto some new stuff!

Final Arei Flashback

Whoooah boy was that scene a doozy. I'm starting to think David's murderous rage towards the blackened at the start of the trial was genuine, because me too, man. I'm really glad Arei got at least a little bit of closure before she died, though! She also had an interesting take on the "good person" role, something that has been very important to this trial thus far and will likely continue to be. (I'm thinking that the killer may have had a "good person"-related motivation for killing, which is why it's the chapter's overarching theme?)

Also, to adress the elephant in the room… EDEN??? Well, no wonder Xander "didn't expect her to attack [him] like that" - and from her expression I wonder if she expected it either - I'm really looking forward to learning more about what, exactly, happened before the killing game that involved them! I didn't really believe in Mastermind!Eden before this, but it's starting to look pretty plausible... (Also Xander is the king of haunting the narrative oh my god lol)

Teruko's Secret

Many of us, myself included, were hoping/guessing/assuming that when all the secrets were figured out, David would reveal that he actually had Teruko's, not Xander's. While that didn't happen, the way he reacted after she claimed "her" secret essentially confirms it, as does a lot of other evidence:

That secret being hers would complete a secret circle of Teruko -> Rose -> Whit -> David -> Teruko and a secret pair of Xander <--> Min, which makes sense considering all other secret swaps are either circles of four or in pairs.

Xander and Min would have each other's secrets logically since neither of them can receive secrets, so theirs would probably be separated from the rest.

MonoTV's line about not knowing whether they're all correct feels like a reminder/a hint that some of the secrets are incorrect, and those two feel like the most likely options.

Teruko apparently has no idea which secret is actually hers, so may have just guessed the one that sounded more like her, except we know she never knew her parents and only had one sibling (as does Charles… I wonder if he'll notice)

EDIT: I cant believe I almost forgot, but I feel like David’s attitude towards Xander (and Teruko) makes more sense with these secrets, because why would he idolize Xander if the killing game was his fault, but he would idolize him if he thought Xander was trying to end the killing game by killing Teruko, the person David now thinks/knows is at fault.

However, since David didn't claim out loud that Teruko was lying, it's likely that this piece of information will become relevant much later in the series, and he'll be keeping it to himself for now.

Veronika and Hu

When did Veronika and Hu make their pact? And how did Hu, presumably the one who wanted to make the pact, know that Veronika had her secret? Also, what on earth do you mean, Veronika, that your secret isn't the worst thing you've done???? This little section with the two of them could just be entirely innocent and a way for the dev to get the rest of the secrets on the board, and let Veronika be a little unhinged as she tends to be, but I get the feeling at least some of this is relevant. (I'm betting on either Accomplice!Veronika or Veronika's actual "worst thing" being important to a later trial…)

David

Ohhhhh, David. I feel like Veronika with how much I want to psychoalanize this guy. He is on the verge of a breakdown, and I can feel it! The question being, of course, whether Arei's death was enough to make it happen this chapter, or whether this is something that's gonna last another chapter or two before coming to a head. My money's on the second option, because I think this trial is about to be about Ace and his impending breakdown :)

I do hope after this trial we do get to see a little more of what David's actually like beyond his facades/the roles he's been playing! Also, as much as I'd like to see David survive and have to deal with the consequences of revealing his "true" personality on live television, I think it's more likely he'll go the way of DR antags trying to end the killing game via self-sacrifice.

(We also better keep a close eye on anyone who tries to befriend or help David in Ch3, because they're gonna die next! /j)

J's Morality

This is a short one, but I just wanted to comment on another analysis I saw point out that J has been one of the most vocal people anytime murder has been brought up. I think that behind her rougher personality, J is a more empathetic person, and/or has very strong morals, making her a narrative foil to Levi now, so I do hope the two of them interact in Ch3!

Whit??

Whit. Whit why do you know so much about hanging??? Being serious though, I saw someone else bring up that his mother might have died by hanging and he researched it afterwards as a coping mechanism or something? That's the saddest possible explanation, but it does make the most sense by far… I honestly don't think that Whit is the killer, because then why would he be being so helpful in figuring out the murder method, but he's still so weird and suspicious sometimes.

Nico!

Even though I still don't think it was Nico (crime scene makes more sense if seen as Nico trying to help Ace, they may have just admitted to it because it was the less confrontational option, next ep is def not the last one and I think it'll be about proving who it was other than Nico, and if you look at Nico's secret quote…) I still do hope they get the chance to get mad! Get mad at Ace! Get mad at David! Get mad at whoever the (attempted) killer was for putting the blame on them! Idk I just want them to have their moment.

☆ ☆ ☆

And finally, here are my new bingo cards for the next episode:

(I can't believe ep14 is gonna be 40 mins + there's a "non-spoiler" thumbnail rn oooooh I'm so nervous)

[gemstone-ruby]

Season Finale Ramblings

Oh I feel so vindicated after watching to finale of The Gilded Age! Please note I do NOT have the extra context that comes with the show's extras yet (podcasts, interview, etc.) and I have only watched season two once but I am still filled with (a little too much) giddy energy about the ending so this is going to be a wall of text be prepared...

Thoughts and spoilers after the break

Lets start with Peggy: when I tell you I let out a sigh of relief when she left that man standing in the park! Mr. Fortune is MARRIED with -insert number of kids here- one of which is a newborn. You're telling me your wife just gave birth and you're making googly eyes at the new journalist who works for you???? TRASH. Now don't get me wrong, I could write off the kiss in the barn as a heat of the moment thing for the plot or whatever, but I think KNOW I would have been really pissed off and disappointed in how they took Peggy's character if they let that storyline continue into an affair. I wish Peggy the best of luck with her author dreams now that she has her start.

Ms. Marian: Girl, I am so happy you found your voice, dusted off your spine and got out of that engagement. For season one, in my opinion, she was pining so much for her old life that it made her lie to herself. She lost everything and everyone she knew in the blink of an eye and had to immediately put on a brave face and table her grief because Agnes hated her brother. I do think she loved Mr. Raikes but I think that love was rooted in her using him as a way back to "real life" once they got married. So much so that she ignored the signs that Raikes was being seduced by high society life in New York. She really grew as a person this season but when she accepted Dashiell's proposal, I thought she was sliding back downhill into the quiet housewife everyone expects her to be. I'm glad she's finally taking life into her own hands and I'm glad Larry Russell might be getting a happy ending with her as well. We shall see...

Speaking of the Russells: A big beautiful congratulations to Mrs. Russell for winning the opera war...however...I think it might come back to bite her in the ass when Gladys, and most importantly, Mr. Russell find out she basically sold her daughter off to the duke to do so. I love Mr. and Mrs. Russell as a unit, THE power couple, but George made it clear that he doesn't give two shits about playing the grand game of society. He only plays for his wife because his family's happiness is all he wants; if Gladys is falling for another man and Bertha tries to force her into the duke's arms, the power couple is going to clash. HARD. You already saw a brief look at that potential conflict when Mr. Russell was facing charges for the train crash and all Mrs. Russell could think about was a ball. He didn't even tell her when he was going ON TRIAL ffs! Yes they were at odds when Bertha found out about Turner coming onto him but in that instance George was working for forgiveness from his wife; the train derailment had him ready to bare teeth over his wife's lack of empathy. Mr. Russell already promised his daughter he would have her back when it comes to her marriage; this is not going to resolved without at least one relationship dynamic in the Russell household changing forever...

And FINALLY SOME KARMIC JUSTICE FOR ADA!!!! Omfg this woman could not catch a break for the life of her. This wise, kind soul had to live years as a spinster and (as I'm sure she probably thinks) a leech on the fortune her sister had to marry an awful man to get. When she at last finds a good man to love and live out her golden years with he fucking gets cancer and dies almost as soon as they get married. This woman could not get more than a second of peace. But when Bannister turned to her and crowned her head of the household with one question it's like the stars aligned! You could see it in her face when she realized she was finally, not her sister's equal, but her superior by Agnes's own old world standards. And I know that Agnes loves her sister in her outdated way, but in my opinion, it was also extremely patronizing. Agnes ruled her household with an iron fist, so much so that literally every one living under her roof, from the servants to her family members, have secrets they're keeping in fear of losing their way of life by angering her. Now, dear Aunt Ada, gets to take the rinds and I can't wait. Ada is kind but not naïve, wise but not authoritarian, and she realizes that the world is changing and society along with it. Everyone in the Van Rhijn house may now have a chance at happiness their own way now that they have a mistress who has no interest in changing who they are for the sake of other people's opinions.

I want to stress that I am not bashing Agnes. At least I'm not trying to. I know her way of thinking is a product of her time mixed with the horrors and injustices she had to face to get to where she is in life. But her being stuck in survival mode has sank her ship and nearly alienated her from her own family. She should take this changing of the guard as her sign to give it a rest, to TAKE a rest. Do I think she's going to: NO. I think she's going to be a bitter pain in the ass now that she has virtually no power.

I'm going to end this by saying to look forward to seeing if and how Mrs. Astor will move forward. She does not seem to be the type of woman to fade off into the night silently in defeat. I would say she may team up with Ms. Turner/Mrs. Winterton but not only does Astor know her secret now but I think she's about two seconds from spiraling in a BAD way and losing that rich husband of hers. I mean look at the temper tantrums she threw every time she lost something to Mrs. Russell.

If they do not renew this show for another season, I will haul myself from the Brooklyn Bridge (I'm joking.....mostly )

[ravenrambles6229]

kai_ninjago appreciation hours

k gamer we need to talk about kai and how he is consistently the family man of the ninja and arguably the most emotionally mature of them all when it comes to family

i love kai so much. hes not the brightest, but he is the most loving out of all the ninja, even if it’s in his own way.

first up, presumably taking care of nya for years on his own. like, im sure the neighbors helped out, but he has gone on record saying that they mostly grew up on their own. this kid got “abandoned” by his parents. but even then, he lit lanterns with nya on day of the departed. even though he didn’t know what happened to them, he chooses to believe that they wouldn’t leave them willingly. that they’re still worth remembering and loving.

when it’s revealed that zane is a robot, kai is the first one there. “you may be a robot, but you’re still our brother.” being a robot doesnt change anything, and kai is the first one to make sure zane knows it, but is also the one to later tell the others “we just have to give him time. i don’t know how i’d feel if somebody told me i was a robot.” Like, he empathizes with zane! he tells zane he still loves him, respects zane’s wish to be given space, and expresses empathy with him. in ninjago decoded, kai even reveals that he often forgets zane isn’t human. zane is, at this point, made of titanium. and yet all kai sees is zane

ok and then there’s his true potential. what even is there to say about that one? how he realizes his purpose is to protect his family. he’s there to protect lloyd. the one that once left lloyd, flaked out on him. he realizes that no, this kid is everything to him.

when lloyd was climbing the tower to fight the overlord, kai was right there, ready to protect him. “there’s only one green ninja.” this is no longer about him, it’s about lloyd’s destiny to save the world. and he would do everything to make sure lloyd makes it through that

now. kai gets a lot of flack for being not that smart. and dude really aint. his mouth is a pistol with which to shoot himself in the foot. but when it comes to family? He’s one of the most eloquent there. In titanium ninja, he’s the one to first coin “this isn’t about numbers, it’s about family.” something that resonated with zane strongly enough that he would fight the overlord despite all odds.

And then the funeral. it wasnt wu to speak. or cole or jay or even lloyd, but kai. his speech is genuinely like... really good?

“Everybody wondered what powered Zane, and I don’t think we’ll ever know, but I’d like to think it was brotherhood. Because he powered me. And he still powers me. Wherever you are Zane, you’ll always be one of us.”

this is coming from a dude that probably can’t do long division or tell you what a prepositional phrase is. what kai lacks in book smarts, and even in typical maturity (he’s still very much so a teenager) he makes up for with this insane emotional intelligence specifically regarding family.

in season 4, he’s the one we see visiting zane’s statue. he’s the one that supports lloyd in spite of his crush on skylor (even cole and jay got distracted by their own squabbling, even if they did the right thing in the end) he’s the one that took NONE of skylor’s bullshit once she revealed having ice powers.

and he was so deeply hurt by her betrayal! he felt genuinely betrayed! he really trusted her, even though he probably shouldnt have, seeing as she tried to turn him against lloyd. but just like lloyd with harumi, kai saw the good in her. and his loyalty changed skylor.

then season 5. lloyd just had to banish his father. so kai does what he did once already: steps up to be there. telling lloyd that he’ll be there for him. and he is. he’s the one to get through to lloyd on multiple occasions when he’s possessed by morro after all.

season 7. kai is so genuinely hurt when he thinks his dad betrayed them. but once he knows they’re on his side, he’s so, so, SO genuinely relieved, and later doesn’t hold it against them that he and nya grew up alone, even though he does have plenty of right to do so, or to at least still feel hurt by it. no. he’s just glad to have them back.

i don’t remember season 8 very clearly, but kai being the one to answer cole’s questions about babies is pretty fun.

season 9 puts them through the wringer. at first, kai is actually the one freaking out the most, he wants to go home so badly, they don’t know what happened to lloyd. but when wu and hope are lamenting being tied to fucking stakes and left to die, kai is the first one to comfort wu. to start joking around to lighten the mood, which the others then piggyback off of. it’s kai that’s there to try and comfort him first.

season 10, cole’s fall. you can tell how badly kai wants to go back for cole, even when all logic dictates that they’d die. personally, i like to imagine that he told zane that “this isn’t about logic, it’s about family” to which zane might say “this is about the innocent lives on our ship” to which kai just. looks down in sorrow.

but when lloyd returns, they’re all silent. none of them want to tell lloyd what happened. it’s kai that breaks the news. it’s kai (and jay of course) that comforts nya when she blames herself. it’s kai that later goes to nya when she’s alone to tell her that it’s not her fault, and to push her towards moving past what happened, at least long enough that they can make it through this to grieve cole later. the one to reinforce to nya that cole wouldnt hold what happened against her (by offering her the scythe)

it’s just... it’s so consistently a part of kai’s character. i don’t know the second series enough off the top of my head to really point to specific examples. which is like, on me of course.

but when he lost nya, he channeled that into becoming a DOJO INSTRUCTOR for YOUNG CHILDREN. He saw his sister disappear, and decided to protect the rest of the children of ninjago, in whatever way he could: by making sure they could defend themselves, even if he’s not able to do it for them. it’s... honestly remarkably touching and poignant.

but like, shit, man. dragons rising NAILED big brother kai. the way he picks up lloyd and spins him around. he’s overflowing with so much love for his family. there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that he’d go through hell and high water for any of them. which is true of all the ninja, of course, but kai... he’s special

he’s the one that knows what to say. how to comfort someone. how to make someone feel loved. how to help someone grieve. even if he doesn’t always know how to handle that grief himself (see his time as the burning shogun)

the fact that he learned these skills from such a young age is tragic in its own right, but that he managed to turn his loss and strife into such a positive character trait is nothing short of amazing, and is such a sorely overlooked aspect to his character.

tl;dr - Kai is not only loyal to a fault, but also capable of comforting people and being there for them. He loves his family so much, and he’s one of the best at expressing that in the little ways and big ones.

(sidebar but shoutout to his VA. he’s the one that really makes kai come to life)

[weareallgonnaliveforawhile]

QSMP Quackity Swap AU - Guapoduo

I mentioned once that El was very close with Guapoduo but I never went into detail with it.

For those that don't know, this is my swap au with Quackity and El Quackity where Elq was the OG

Elq was close with Roier from the very start of the server, and he was one of the very few people that Elq would go out of his way to spend time with/around without it involving some grand scheme. Roier enjoyed his company and how he never failed to darken up a room with only a few words or even a glance at someone. Elq thought Roier was fun and he liked having someone that just took him at face value and didn't call him emo (Shut up, MISSA-)

Elq had a tendency to make a lot of jokes about getting with Roier but Elq jokes in a very...deadpan and non-romantic way so it just came out as "[Scowling] I can't believe I married you." which Roier found hilarious but could never tell if it was flirting or jokes. If questioned on this, Elq would pretend they questioned him about something else.

Elq was the defacto babysitter of Bobby to the point where Bobby and Tilin were like siblings. He was a...odd man and honestly probably not the best babysitter, but he once took several arrows in a row without wearing armor to make sure Bobby (Who was fully decked out in armor and had a totem) didn't get hit so he was alright in Jaiden and Roier's book of who to let babysit. Elq was close to Roier to the point where multiple people on the island genuinely couldn't tell if they were dating or not (Roier had no idea either, but he was leaning towards 'No'.) (Elq acts like the question was dumb and refuses to answer).

Cellbit made things interesting because he was extremely close with him from the SECOND that he met the man, it barely took any time at all. They bonded over puzzles, scheming, and mysteries when they first met and would grow to bond over their natural lack of compassion and empathy for others (Both of them have very low empathy and have selective compassion).

Cellbit thought that Elq was fascinating and made for an amazing debate partner. Elq thought Cellbit was so interesting, he was entralled by him completely.

He had a...weird relationship with Richas that consisted of both of them threatening the other constantly but jumping to their defense the second anyone else slanders them. Richas has stabbed multiple people for making fun of Elq. He still becomes 1% of Richas's parent in this au but neither of them tend to acknowledge it to each others faces. Behind each other's backs, they'll be like "Well, MY dad could trick your dad into signing away his soul!" or "MY son is so much better than your kid. What can your kid do that mine can't do better?" Cellbit finds it adorable and loves watching the two bicker.

Elq, after knowing Cellbit for some time, does the same flirting joke thing that he does with Roier (and while it flusters Cellbit a lot more than it does Roier), and it confuses the shit out of poor Cellbit. He tried to ask the other members, but they had no answers. Neither did Roier but he found the whole thing funny from the start so it was unlikely he'd be much help either way.

Once Roier and Cellbit started dating, they both thought Elq would either get jealous of one of them or stop with the jokes (Maybe do a mock assassination attempt if he was especially pouty). They did not account for him acting as if absolutely nothing changed. The only thing that changed with his banter/jokes/flirting was that he would speak as if all 3 of them were in a relationship. It confused them so bad that they'd occasionally forget that they weren't actually dating Elq (At least, they thought so).

Elq basically lived in the castle with them for fucks sake, it was a really confusing situation that no one except Elq understood (and god knows he wasn't willing to explain).

[stainedglassthreads]

I think a story’s themes sometimes get downplayed in theorycrafting. And that can occasionally lead to theories that clash with the source material, whether the theory supporters realize it or not.

For a very ridiculous example that few people probably take seriously, let’s begin with the Coma Theory from the Pokemon anime. The theory is an old one, and basically states that Ash is a boy from our world, who after being electrocuted fell into a coma where he dreamed the entirety of his Pokemon adventure. The presence of real-world animals from our world appearing in early seasons, but slowly being phased out for a world inhabited solely by Pokemon, is attributed to the deterioration of his brain, as is the fact he never appears to age.

I don’t believe anyone takes this theory completely seriously or claims it to be definitive canon, though some may appreciate its creepypasta style. For one, it reduces a story to an ‘all just a dream’ narrative, which is hard to do well and easy to make feel cheap and cliched. But I’ll also point out that it’s very at-odds with the themes of the Pokemon anime. Pokemon has always had strong themes of friendship, empathy, and compassion from episode one, and claiming that all the friends who Ash meets on his journey are mere figments of his imagination feels like the exact opposite to that. As such, even though the world of Pokemon is no stranger to dark subjects such as child death, this specific theory doesn’t feel like it belongs.

For a slightly more recent, but still not especially popular, theory, there is the theory that Gaster is responsible for the Determination experiments, amalgamates, and Flowey. While there is some theory Gaster may have dabbled in dt himself a little (the two strongest pieces of evidence being the DT Extractor’s design and the mention of vague ‘blueprints’, as well as some people noticing that Mystery Man looks melted.), in-game evidence in this video by Dorked proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Alphys was the one responsible for the Amalgamates and Flowey. Even before I saw this video, though, I thought the theory was full of crap. Why?

Well, because it would render Alphys’ arc in the game entirely moot. Her arc was about the lies she had told covering up her own mistakes, and gaining the courage to tell the truth and fix things for the amalgamates. If it were abruptly revealed that, whoopsy doopsy, it wasn’t her mistake and had instead been the mistake of some mysterious figure who everyone just so happened to forget, conveniently lifting responsibility for the initial mistakes from her shoulders and removing the origin of the guilt that prompted her lies... it would abruptly become a much, much, much weaker arc. For both Alphys and Gaster. Alphys loses much of the power behind her eventually coming forwards, while Gaster’s arc, presently left largely in the background, is dragged into the forefront to be blasted with a glaring spotlight, highlighting the lack of closure and unsatisfaction. What lessons does Gaster learn? ‘Maybe if you blow yourself into non-existence, someone else will come along, be tortured by your mistakes to the point of suicidal depression, and then eventually fix your fuck-ups’?

This isn’t exactly a widely-popular theory, though, so let’s go for a more recent and more popular one. Such as, Chara being ‘pure evil’ and responsible for the No Mercy route. A major theme in Undertale is the effects of your choices on others, how any has the choice to be a good or bad person, and how all the monsters you encounter have much deeper and more complex lives than you initially anticipate. Chara is almost certainly not a saint, but to declare that they’re pure evil with no depth, no motivation, no trauma, and no chance of redemption, who also allows the player a convenient escape from blame, is to refute basically every moral that Undertale tries to convey. Chara’s depth and complexity may not be as explicit as, say, Flowey/Asriel. But by paying attention to themes and parallels, (such as how MK’s admitting that Undyne isn’t the best person, followed by them immediately shifting idolization to Papyrus, is paralleled by Asriel, Chara, and Frisk, or Asgore remarking that Frisk reminds him of Chara only in a True Pacifist run but not mentioning humans or Chara at all in No Mercy.), one can assume that Chara was, at the very least, neither pure evil nor exclusively motivated by power when they began their plan.

I do admit, sometimes a theme can be introduced early on, only for the story to viciously tear it apart and show how it’s a deeply flawed belief. Undertale initially introduces ‘kill or be killed’, only to show two different ways that it’s a very flawed belief: in No Mercy, it shows that this belief can only end in self-destruction, while in True Pacifist the saying’s most ardent supporter is forced to acknowledge it was a flawed ideology fueled by his trauma and hurt. But the point remains.

[hvndredbattles]

repost and rate your muse's traits out of 10 in each category !

RICHIE ARDEN.

COMPASSION. 4/10*. Richie's general capacity for empathy is relatively low. Compassion is something he still has to make a very conscious effort for, and he doesn't often know what to do for it. I think some of the clearest moments of compassion you'll see from him are things he will do for the dying.

He does have his own little ways of showing he cares, in his own way. Making sure his boys have eaten. Relative leniency on approving leave, where he can. Insisting on at least one inspection of injuries himself, even if they were seen to by someone else. (And I don't write him in a romantic relationship or choose to ship him by default, but he does learn other forms of compassion and connection and expressing care as the relationship deepens.)

BITTERNESS. 4/10. Less bitter and more a bleak realist. The bitterness kicks in after his Arc 2, when his government betrays him and he loses his team. But it's not pervasive in his life in the sense that it colors everything? Bitter about losing his boys, and bitter about being stabbed in the back, but that does not mean that he expects as much from everyone else now.

HAPPINESS. 5/10. Honestly just a very neutral guy. Neither prone to great joy nor great sorrow.

POLITENESS. 5/10. He is aware of when it would be wise to hold his tongue, and aware of social convention and manners. It's something of a tossup as to whether or not he'll actually acknowledge and act on said awareness. He's got enough sense not to talk back to a superior, but if there's no respect there, he will absolutely be brusque and intentionally ignore things like pleasantries.

I want to say there's an element of "doesn't care enough to pry" in some of what reads as his politeness. For instance, he won't ask about scars in part because that's Not Something You Do, and in part because it's not behavior he wants to encourage (doesn't want someone thinking that's something he'll tolerate directed his way), but also he just. Doesn't care enough about the "story" to ask? And then once he gets to know someone and develops a relationship of some form with them, there's a respect for privacy he won't broach.

MORALITY. 5/10. His work, by default, has him often operating in the grey. But even before that, he never felt particularly compelled by morality. It's more a set of rules he operates by because it is easier to do so. He has lines he won't cross because of his internal moral compass, of course. But I would not call him a particularly moral man.

PRIDE. 7/10. Prideful, but I would argue in some odd ways. Not easily humiliated, even when that is solely, specifically, viciously the goal. But also not a braggart. He knows he's good at what he does. He's confident in the knowledge that he's good at what he does. But you also won't hear him willy-nilly discussing his work or his successes.

He would maybe rather die than beg, given specifically those two options. It might depend on the day.

HONESTY. 6/10. Honest with an edge, sometimes. But also inclined toward the conversational redirect to avoid answering questions or addressing topics he'd rather not. More honest professionally than personally.

BRAVERY. 10/10. Occupational hazard, bravery. Being brave and running toward the injured and the violence and destruction tend to go hand-in-hand.

RECKLESSNESS. 5/10. You would think, perhaps, that bravery and recklessness go hand-in-hand? And yet. Has he made decisions against his better judgement? Gone headfirst back into a situation with terrible odds to finish a mission, or rescue one of his own? Yes. However, one does not get to a point of leading teams by lacking good judgment and the wisdom of when to say no to ill-advised courses of action.

AMBITION. 7/10. Less personal ambition and more professional ambition and drive. The ambition of Getting Shit Done.

LOYALTY. 10/10. Loyal to a fault. Loyal to people, first, but his loyalty to his country is nothing to scoff at either. The man has literally been tortured and held onto highly classified information. He would kill for, and die for, his loyalties.

LOVE. 3/10. Love is another one of those things Richie does not have much capacity for. Not that he would not say he loves people— he does love his family, and in rare circumstances, could even come to love a romantic partner. But it is not love in the way he hears other people describe. He simply doesn't connect with people on that level. It's part of why it's so easy for him to leave his old life behind at the end of his Arc 2, going into Arc 3. Almost an, out-of-sight, out-of-mind.

(And yet, I want it on record that the two ships he does have? Love on Richie looks a lot like obsession. Love becomes a "I am not leaving first. You will have to tell me you're done with me" thing.)

SENSE OF FAMILY. 4/10*. In line with his difficulty with emotional attachments (love and the like), his sense of family is not particularly strong. He has one, certainly, and they're on good terms. But he feels no obligation to them, and rarely feels a particular pull toward them that is distinguishable from any pull he feels toward anyone else he has more than a passing relationship with. That being said, his niece is, without a doubt, the exception to the rule. He showers her with gifts, has left much of his estate to her in his will, and would do anything for her.

ATTRACTIVENESS. 8/10. I'd call him ruggedly handsome. The scars are an allure for some, and a warning off for others.

AGILITY. 8/10. He has to be, for his occupation. It's something he puts a concentrated effort into maintaining. But a fighter's agility, not a dancer or acrobat's agility. Strikes fast strikes true, strikes hard.

SEX DRIVE. 7/10. Not something he acts on so regularly after he leaves his twenties, but still a higher-than-average sex drive. Higher when he has a regular sexual partner. Lower when the work wears him thin.

[invisible-dragons]

I've been thinking I might not experience a lot of empathy, at least not always

(This is mostly rambling because it's past my bedtime but I feel the need to write this out here)

This isn't to say I don't care about people and never do things for them or am only manipulating people for personal gain (yes really, lacking empathy feelings doesn't mean I'm a manipulative asshole)

But also if you look at things on Google of how you tell if you have low empathy it's all "if you criticize others for having emotions" or "people think you're cold and heartless" which, no???

I care how other people feel and how my actions make them feel

So like, on that sense I guess I do have empathy, but when another person is sad I don't get sad, I also don't get happy just because someone else is happy most of the time, I mean I do if it relates to something I've done but maybe that's more my brain being excited about praise than empathy?

But I still do things for other people in ways that aren't cold and manipulative, because I care about people even if my emotional state isn't dependent on it

Honestly thinking about it that way makes compassion out of high empathy seem more manipulative for self gain. When I help people I'm not rewarded and if I hurt someone I'm not punished by my emotions like that, I help people to help them, not to make the icky feelings go away

And yeah, sometimes I do get something our of it, for example if I draw something for someone I get to enjoy the process of drawing and I get to experience them enjoying my art, but I don't always

But today I saw a butterfly with a broken wing, and I didn't feel sad for it, and my first thought wasn't wishing it the best or about it's suffering. I just thought it it as a good opportunity for a picture, amd yeah I like butterflies and want them to do well, this wasn't an issue of not seeing it as 'deserving' of empathy and care. This seems a lot like low empathy

Some of the other people that I showed the picture to expressed that they hoped the butterfly could recover or they felt bad for it, so maybe I'm the odd one out

Idk emotions are complicated and weird

A lot of signs I see of low empathy on Google are also like trying to figure it out in other people, and they all treat 'low empathy' like asshole

"Oh someone has low empathy if they never care about your emotions and only care about their own" no that's just an asshole

Fucking bullshit man

I don't know if I'm a good person or what that means or if it matters, but I do know that I care about people, I don't always feel the feelings, but I try to make the world a better place and help the people in it, it doesn't matter if it makes me feel better, I don't help people for me I do it for them

Empathy seems usefull as a way to drive an instinct to help eachother but you can help people without it

[linkspooky]

Dazai’s Self Destruction

So Chapter 101 happened and everyone is freaking out about Dazai’s decision to not only kill Dostoevsky but also, sacrifice Chuuya in order to do it. Now, the first thing to worry about is whether Chuuya is going to die or not, but I think there’s a more interesting question past that. Why exactly does Dazai consider Chuuya so expendable? Why is he so determined to kill Dostoevsky? This is odd, because the Detective Agency goes for the arrest, not the kill. Killing is how the mafia would do it. 

Dazai’s willingness to kill both Chuuya and Dostoevsky, is a reflection of his suicidal nature of a character. I’ll explain more under the cut. 

1. Suicide Maniac

Suicide is at the center of Dazai’s character. Not only is he a so-called suicide maniac, who is always attempting suicide as a running gag, everything from his backstory showing up at Mori Ougia’s clinic and asking him to give him a reason to live, and also to the question he asked Oda. 

I always lose the things I don't want to lose the most. That's why I don't feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it. That's just how things are. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.

Dazai’s character revolves around one idea: what is the point of struggling to live on? Suicide is not only Dazai’s central philosophy though, it’s his greatest flaw. 

We don’t know why Dazai wants to die, but the answer to that question isn’t really as important as it seems. What’s more important is the bad way Dazai copes with is wish to die. Of course there are elements of Dazai’s backstory that influence his current day behavior. After all, he went to Mori to find a reason to live, only to be thrown into the mafia and essentially groomed for leadership to make the kind of decisions that would get people killed over. We’ve also already established in both the Beast Au, and the flashback stories, that Mafia Dazai is essentially Dazai’s worst self. Though on the surface he still goofs around like he does in the detective agency, he’s extremely emotionally unwell, volatile like a child, and he lashes out considerably. 

Dazai has a clear cut pattern with the kind of people he lashes out against. Even in the hierarchy of the mafia, the way he treats Akutagawa is unnaceptable. We know this because Dazai himself says that his behavior is “not that of a good man.” There is an entire AU devoted to the fact that if Oda became Akutagawa’s mentor, while he’d still have a lack of empathy, and violent tendencies from his extremely rough upbringing in the slums, he’d also be able to grow past that and work at being a better person. 

Here is some extremely basic psychology 101. There is a term called Psychological Projection. 

The devil is the accuser. Basically projection is a defense mechanism people have, where they’re afraid of some quality in themselves, and so they project it onto others. Remember, Dazai is suicidal, and there are signs he doesn’t particularly hold himself in high regard, he self-harms, or attempts to regularly, he has like no regard for his own well being. 

Dazai’s defense mechanism has always been to project onto others. The devil is the accuser. Dazai himself is the devil, but he tends to be extremely harsh on the evils he sees in other people. It’s a pattern that repeats, with Akutagawa, Chuuya, and Dostoevsky. 

Dazai repeats Mori’s mistake,Akutagawa showed up in front of Dazai searching for a reason to live, but Dazai didn’t save him. Dazai brought him into the mafia and groomed him instead. 

Psychologicall I would say that the difference between the way Dazai treats Atsushi, and the way Dazai treats Akutagawa entirely has to do with projection. He projects his good traits onto Atsushi and sees him as the more redeemable one. He projects his bad traits onto Akutagawa, and then Akutagawa automatically becomes the more expendable one. I don’t think Dazai’s intention was to sacrifice Akutagawa to die on the boat. But Oda’s command was for Dazai to save all of the orphans. Rather than doing his best for Akutagawa, Dazai keeps him on an incredibly short leash, not contacting Akutagawa unless he needs him, because he’s more useful that way. 

He essentially does the same wit Chuuya as well. Chuuya has an extremely deep trust in Dazai, because of all the time they’ve worked together. Chuuya is a character focused on relationships, his comrades with the sheep, his loyalty to the mafia. 

As for Dazai, we don’t know how serious he is about this statement. Dazai tends to lie, if you haven’t noticed. Dazai is a lying liar who lies. I’m not even sure if he is serious about killing Chuuya. However, it is in character that Dazai would be willing to sacrifice Chuuya, because that’s how Dazai uses people. 

Dazai at least believes he has no attachment to Chuuya, beyond the fact that their compatability in combat makes them a good partnership. I would argue the way he views Atsushi and Akutagawa, and the way he treats Chuuya is proof enough of that. He has absolutely no regard for Chuuya’s feelings, he just manuevers him around where he wishes Chuuya to be. He views Shin Soukoku as the same. Dazai wasn’t exactly saving either Akutagawa or Atsushi out of the goodness of their heart, it was because their abilities worked well together and he was playing the long game and he would need them later on. 

We’re shown a scene in Beast where outside of Dazai’s influence, if Akutagawa and Atsushi met each other on the street, and sat down and talked they’d get along really well because they have so much in common. Dazai purposefully plays up the rival between them. Heck, he even instigated it by comparing Akutagawa to Atsushi. He pushes them to be rivals and plays them off against each other, because he thinks that will cultivate their abilities to be stronger. Their emotional health and well-being is a second priority to him. 

Of course, Dazai realizes this is wrong, it’s probably the reason he is so self-loathing in the first place. He feels guilty like any other human beings, he just views his actions as necessary. Dazai doesn’t work together with others, he manipulates for the greater good. 

Anyway, it’s no coincidence that the two people Dazai has already written off as people who can’t be saved, ended up as mindless vampires this arc. 

Chuuya and Akutagawa both represent the kind of people that Dazai doesn’t really want to reach out and save, the kind he just gives up on and abandons, and what do you know, they literally died, because Dazai gave them up for dead. Now, in this same arc, as a result of Dazai choosing to let them go. Ie, encouraging Akutagawa to protect Atsushi and never prioritize their own life. Never wanting to work together with Chuuya in the first place only manipulating him. Because of that, they’ve been turned into tools for Dostoevsky and are being used against him. Dazai treated them like mindless pawns, and now they are pawns. 

All of this to lead to my final point, why would Dazai want to kill Dostoevsky? 

It’s because of the extremely close foiling between the two. Dostoevsky and Dazai share a lot in common, they are both extremely childlike and egocentric geniuses who don’t really regard the feelings of other people. They are both loners by nature. They’re both extremely manipulative. However, I would say the greatest reason their compared is this. 

Dazai and Dostoevsky both have a philosophy focused on purging evil and eliminating it, rather than saving others. Dazai might not be as much of a zealot as Dostoevsky is, and he doesn’t believe heart and soul that purging the world of the evil of ability users will create a more perfect world, however, in the end his methodology is a mirror to Dostoevsky. 

The first time they meet Dostoevsky immediately goes for the kill, only a few minutes after meeting Dazai. Now, Dazai is prioritizing killing Dostoevsky above all else, he’s even willing to sacrifice Chuuya to do it. 

It’s because Dostoevsky reflects the absolute worst qualities of Dazai, his manipulativeness, his unforgiving nature, the toxic ways he treats other people. Sure there is a strategic reason as well with killing Dostoevsky, but Dazai’s personal feelings interfere with his strategies far more than he ever lets on. The same way that Dostoevsky grants evil people the salvation of death. Dazai also, tends to let the people he believes reflect the worst qualities of himself, Akutagawa, Chuuya, and Dostoevsky die. 

Therefore, all of that to say it’s perfectly in character for Dazai to be seriously trying to kill Chuuya and Dostoevsky in chapter 101. However, the motivations behind it reflects some of Dazai’s worst failures. Dazai himself believes he is unworthy of living. Therefore, people who share these negative qulaities at him, he doesn’t go out of his way to save. Dazai’s worst tendency is his own self destruction. 

[maruzzewrites]

Who do you think is the worst yandere to catch the attention of? Like best to worst in la squadra or otherwise, I’m interested in what you think about it cause it seems like illuso would suck the most 💀

though then again you’re really good at making them seem 3-dimensional so they all kinda have good and very bad qualities about them.

i assume you mean worst yandere as in most dangerous or most relentless so let's go

Risotto - Listen to me, Risotto spent his teens resenting the person who killed his cousin, murdered them four years later, joined Passione and he is the one who got closer to kill Diavolo out of sheer hatred. He also has the most brutal Stand, which you can probably believe he won't use against you lethally, but he has the violent urges to hurt you if it's needed; he is resourceful, observant and just outright dangerous when he wants something so he would probably be pretty difficult

Illuso - You're right, he's probably very dangerous as a yandere. He has the perfect Stand to seclude you anywhere, you can't escape him until he desires so, and he is petty enough to play with his victims. He seems rather sadistic too if we consider he will torment and confuse people before killing them, even if he is relatively weaker than other members of la Squadra

Prosciutto - Prosciutto seems like someone who knows what he does, but he's so prideful he may slip into something more dangerous. He's probably worst in the sense that he can lure you into a false sense of security because he can act more normal, you will just see a stern and cold man who is interested in you. Bruise his ego enough, and he won't have qualms in using his Stand. Plus he has the ability to build you up and then crush you again, making him dangerous in a more emotional/psychological way.

Formaggio - He seems like a simple man, but this guy is smart. He may underestimate you at first, but he's sleazy when he wants to. I think something that makes him less dangerous is that he can't really hide the fact he isn't that well-adjusted, joking about cutting up a corpse is kinda creepy. So you may distance yourself because he's just not a good candidate as a romantic partner, but he compensates with his lack of empathy. He will get you, if he wants to.

Ghiaccio - Ok, I know this seems a bit odd. Ghiaccio seems more reasonable than how he sounds, he loses his cool often but it doesn't seem to be to the point of losing his lucidity. Plus, he is prideful, but unlike Prosciutto, his pride helps him reject the thing that wounds it. You can probably get rid of him easier if he doesn't find you fitting for him, in spite of his obsession. Still, he is dangerous if he thinks you belong together.

Melone - Yep, down here. Melone to me seems to develop interests based on curiosity, novelty or scientific fascination. He is creepy and he is lacking in empathy, but he is rather weak and can lose interest quickly if you don't prove to be new and shiny. Even if he gets obsessed with you, it could be fleeting and relatively painless for you.

Pesci - I assume it's no surprise he is at the bottom. He seems like the one with more empathy, fear and less confidence out of everyone so he probably won't pursue his obsession unless prompted. Even then, he could just give up because he is scared of it and what could happen. He can get gassed up by the others, but he deflates quickly at the first inconvenience and just forgets about stalking, kidnapping or forcing like any other member would do.

[jojothaho]

Home Late. Haitani brothers + Sanzu & Hanma.

Word count: 1,156

Request: Their reaction to their s/o coming home late from a party/being dropped off by a guy.

Warnings : Borderline nsfw, Sanzu being kinda abusive??

Mdni

Ran

⚜ After a work party had dragged on a little too long, you knew you needed to get home. And because it was so late, you caught a ride home with one of your co-workers.

⚜ When you finally pulled up to your house, you looked out of the window and saw Ran sitting on the porch, sporting a very unamused look on his face. Boom, Instant sobriety. You rushed out of the car and sent your friend on his way, then hastily padded up the steps to the porch.

⚜ "Ran I'm-" He gave you a look and you piped down instantly, nervousness bubbling in the pit of your stomach. If there was any worry in his eyes, it was long gone, only anger in its stead.

"What time were you supposed to be home?"

⚜ You gulped.

"11 pm."

"What time is it now?"

"1:48 am."

⚜ He rested his chin in his hand.

"And who drove you home just now?"

⚜ If you didn't answer correctly here, you knew things could go very wrong.

"That was nobody, he's just a coworker who offered to drive me home!"

"He?" Fuck.

"Well, yes bu-"

"Don't speak anymore."

⚜ You winced at the harshness in his tone.

"His license place is QIG519, right?"

⚜ The color drained from your face. Not trusting your own words, you nodded.

"Okay darling, I need you to tell me, would you prefer "he" takes the punishment, or you?"

⚜ You dropped your head in defeat, knowing there was nothing you could do to avoid Ran's wrath.

"Me."

"Strip."

⚜ Shocked, you looked up at him, hoping that you misheard, but there was only expectancy in his expression.

⚜ So you stripped, eyes welling with tears as you did what you were told. But you couldn't deny the heat and humiliation that started to collect at your core. When you finished, Ran grabbed your hips and sat you down on his knee, slightly bouncing it.

"For every minute that you were out late, you will sit out here, bare on my lap."

Rindou

⚜ After a tiring day of work, you were finally about to go home. Until your boss asked you for five hours of overtime. You knew the request was outrageous, but never being able to say no was one of your worst qualities.

⚜ So, another five hours went by, and you were finally home, courtesy of your boss dropping you off. When you pushed open the door of your shared home, you came to face your boyfriend Rindou, sitting on the couch.

"Y/n, why are you home so late?"

⚜ Rindou's voice was calm, and it mirrored his expression. His demeanor was unsettling, like it was a carefully crafted facade.

"It was work baby. My boss asked me for five hours of overtime." You excused, hoping it was enough.

⚜ He probably would've accepted your excuse, after all, work is work. If only your phone hadn't rung with a call from your boss, at 2 am.

⚜ The poor man was only calling to make sure you got in your house, but here you were, a moaning mess, bent over your dining table, getting the shit smacked out of your ass; While on a voice call with your boss.

"Isn't this a fitting punishment baby? Maybe now you'll think twice before you have men dropping you off at my doorstep at 2 fucking am."

Sanzu

⚜ Work today was hard; It was one of those days. One of those days where you needed a drink, no, drinks.

⚜ You sat at the bar your entire time, knowing your boyfriend, it was best not to interact with anyone. But that didn't mean people didn't interact with you.

⚜ The entire night, you were dodging thirsty men and women. But when you finally decided to leave, one persistent man wouldn't stop following you. When you broke the news that you had a boyfriend, he quit, but still offered to drive you home. You agreed, after all, it was late, and you were tipsy. Sanzu would understand, right? You've never been more wrong in your life.

⚜ When you stepped into the house, it was pitch black. huh? That's odd, usually, Sanzu would be up around this time. But you ignored it, assuming that he must've taken an early night.

⚜ You whistled and padded around the floor until a rough hand locked around your neck and slammed you against the nearest wall; So hard it made your head spin and throb in pain. Terrified couldn't even begin to describe what you were feeling.

⚜ If you didn't hear Sanzu's voice, you probably would've pissed yourself.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow your brains right now."

⚜ You were delirious, even incapable of forming proper sentences.

"I-I don't..? Sanzu..."

"Since you can't seem to talk right now, I'll tell you what you did wrong."

"After you got off of work, you went to a bar. You didn't let me know where you were, and then you let some man drop you off at my house, at 4 in the morning."

"Does that sound about right to you princess?"

"I'm sorry Haru!" You choked out, body falling limp in his hold.

"No princess, You're not sorry yet, but you will be soon. And so will your new friend"

⚜ The buzz of the alcohol was long gone, instead, anxiety and dread slipped into its place.

Hanma

⚜ It seemed like you were drifting from your friends lately, so when they asked you to go out, you couldn't say no, even though you were supposed to be home.

⚜ It was such a blast, you completely forgot the time, and your boyfriend.

⚜ So when you finally stumbled up to your front door, head pounding and fingers trembling from the cold, you were unpleasantly surprised.

⚜ The door wouldn't open all the way. Huh? You knew Hanma was home, the lights were all on. Then why was the security chain locked? Oh.

⚜ You banged on the door, knowing full well Hanma knew you were outside.

"Hanma, let me in! Lets talk about this, its fucking 15° outside!"

⚜ If you knew you were going to be locked outside of your house at 3 am, you would've worn thicker clothes; The thin coat you wore wasn't enough.

"You better be quiet doll, you don't want to wake up the neighbors now do you?"

⚜ Hanma spoke coldly through the crack, then went as fast as he came.

⚜ Your blood ran cold, and if it was from the freezing conditions outside or the lack of empathy in your boyfriend's tone, you didn't know. You knew you weren't getting inside the house without suffering for your actions today.

⚜ Freezing and desperate, you curled into yourself, trying to preserve as much heat as possible. Maybe you should've never gone to that party.

⚜ About an hour later, just beneath consciousness, you felt Hanma come outside and carry you into the house. You were too tired, too cold. But you might've heard,

"I'm not that cruel."

[flickeringart]

Saturn and narcissism

Many people have a faulty perception as to what narcissism really is. It is usually described in terms of overt behavior of self-aggrandizement, vanity and excessive self-love. This would be the over-simplified and non-helpful way to describe it, because it doesn’t pinpoint the reason for, or encompass the complexity of this character trait or “personality disorder”. When it comes to narcissism, the overt self-inflation is not really what it seems because it doesn’t spring from a true sense of grandeur. It stems from a deep sense of lack and insecurity, which the person has over-compensated for. There’s a difference between a person who is genuinely self-loving and someone who needs to focus excessively on the self and one’s success in order to not feel inferior. 

Saturn (and Capricorn for that matter) in the natal chart seems to me to be in line with what one could label “narcissism” because he is generally associated with struggle and deprivation. Saturn is indicative of a psychic lack, which can manifest itself in different ways depending on the sign placement, house placement and aspects made to other planets. Usually, there’s deep inadequacy that is felt, some void that is not filled and coped with through clever defenses. I’d like to think that most people have narcissistic traits; I have certainly not met a single person that hasn’t displayed some kind of cold and walled-off behavior. Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone can be said to have the personality disorder, but, everyone has Saturn somewhere in their chart and his placement indicates where we have built the most rigid defenses, where we are painfully serious and where we are the most vulnerable. It is also the place where we feel the most undeveloped and infantile, and it’s often hidden behind a façade of competence or proclaimed superiority (or inferiority designed to instill guilt in other people for being better or more “accomplished”).

Narcissistic individuals can be very controlling, manipulative, false and uncaring. They can lead double lives and twist the truth to their liking. This is understandable since they are buffering themselves from a (seemingly) permanent inner wound and can’t live their lives from a place of authenticity – the pain of the void in annihilating and needs to be covered over. Feelings of guilt and shame are usually carefully contained within, but sometimes these surface in response to something small, and there’s an over-reaction that is obviously stemming from something more serious than the “superficial” trigger. Typically, people who are involved with this person feels like they have to walk on eggshells around them and might become hyper alert as to not say something that would provoke the narcissistic injury. The rage storms, critique, pessimism, skepticism and double messages are commonly displayed within personal relationships, rather than publicly, but there certainly are cold, competitive and authoritarian people in the work place and on the public arena as well. The negative traits are typically mixed with charming and likable qualities that cause confusion and cognitive dissonance in others.

In extreme cases of narcissism, to the point where it could appropriately be labeled a disorder, the person might be unable to be in touch with any sense of guilt or remorse for inflicting other people pain. This coldness is more often than not an adaptation to a very unforgiving and controlling early environment that caused the individual to put up high walls between the self and other people. When emotions are continuously taken advantage of and there’s no room for developing something real, the person must emotionally disconnect from life because the world is ruthless and non-conducive to well-being. The price for walling oneself off is internal isolation, emotional starvation and deep depression – but it’s sometimes better to be “voluntarily” starving than to be starved by the world. Although lack is usually seen as a bad thing, it comes with its own hidden treasure. It invites the opportunity to build something that is resilient and reliable that will stand the test of time, something that isn’t reliant on circumstances to exist. If anything, Saturn lends itself to being self-motivated because everyone in the external is a threat and would take pleasure (even if it’s not admitted to) in seeing another fail. Humans are quick to take delight, however slight, in another person’s relative disadvantage and weakness. People feed off of the pain of others, to varying degrees of severity.

In my own experience, I’ve found that people can be very nice and encouraging and openly supportive, only to make you feel at ease, and then they use that openness to that they’ve created in order to disempower you through instilling doubt and shame when it suits them. This is exactly how Saturn works. His function is to disarm the “opponent” (everyone is a potential threat) in order to protect the personal ego from facing annihilation. His attempt is essentially to strip away everything that isn’t real and pure within through playing the devil’s advocate. People play this ruthless game of the “devil” with each other all the time – especially when they feel vulnerable and need to drag someone down in the pit of self-doubt with them. People point out each other’s shortcomings, their deficiencies, their falsity and their hypocrisy. No one is as keen to point out the wrong doings of others than the Saturnian because he is striving for realness and substance. Everything that is built on shaky ground will be destroyed in his presence. The same can be said about the narcissistic individual – he will accuse others of being or doing the very things he is afraid are his own sins, primarily to deflect the shame, but also to test the other person’s realness or integrity. That which shatters under pressure is not very reliable and the Saturnian is looking for quality and substance. The sad thing is that just about anything can be dismantled and broken in this world – except that which can’t. What that is exactly is for people to find out for themselves.

It is often said that people with narcissism live in a false reality where everything is taken personally and the slightest hint at criticism and disapproval will tip them over into frenzy. The reaction isn’t false nor is it purely due to living in a false reality; it is a fact that people in general aren’t full-fledged saints. I have yet to meet a person that is so completely void of an ego that they don’t have any sore spots and won’t bite back if they feel that they’ve been attacked. I also haven’t met any person who has 100% altruistic motives. People nudge and coax each other all the time, which can be seen as quite innocent, but it still stems from a desire to get one’s own way. In a sense, one could claim that people only seem to care about another if there has been some kind of identification and projection of inner subconscious qualities on the other – and even that is not true caring because one really does it for the self, even if it doesn’t seem like it because it’s unconscious. A narcissistic individual with apparent difficulty to include other’s well-being as their own is perhaps more capable to do something purely altruistic because it would not give them any pleasure to be “selfless”. In other words, there is no secondary gain in genuinely acting in someone else’s best interest for these types – not even emotional satisfaction. Empathy that comes naturally is beautiful, but when it doesn’t and has to be acquired against all odds, there’s opportunity for great growth. This opportunity is character building and humbling – it really is the opportunity of building something of substance from the ground up.

Lack is not ultimately a bad thing if its treasures are valued instead of dismissed and ignored as meaningless. Being “without” is an opportunity if one can stretch one’s perception beyond the discomfort of the present. The psychic void of shame that is felt can only be filled from the inside. By cutting out the middle man (that is, “external supply”) the person becomes truly self-sufficient and non-complacent in dealing with life. Saturn is not a bad planet per se, even though it is traditionally labeled “malefic”. It simply requires more consciousness on the part of the individual and more deliberate effort. Narcissism can be a byproduct of the Saturnian dynamic, but its ugliness can be a blessing in disguise.

—————

Note: I’m not ”blaming astrology” for causing a mental disorder in this post, I’m simply exploring the Saturnian archetype and how it correlates with certain behaviors. I don’t believe any planet ”causes” specific behavior but I think that it can point to an underlying archetypal pattern at the core of certain behavioral dynamics. As stated, Saturn is representative of lack, defences and restriction in astrology - which are all necessary psychological functions. Like any function, they can be effective and healthy, but there’s always a downside to any function. I’m exploring the downside in this post.

[tobesolonely]

aura (II)

A/n: hi everyone! thank you for reading aura and enjoying it enough to ask for a part 2! i hope this lives up to what you guys want! Thanks so much <3 p.s. i am so sorry but I lost track of who asked to be on the taglist :-( So if u would like, please send me an ask and i will definitely add you next time i post about them!

summary: witch!y/n can see auras and harry is no longer blue. he’s pink!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry always found Y/N to be a bit strange since his first encounter with her, but he never thought she was the type who could kill house plants with just the flick of her finger.

“What just happened?” Harry loudly questions, moving as far away from her as he could get. “How did you do that? What’s going on?” His aura is red and muddy gray. Anxiety, nervousness, and fear.

“How did I do what?” Y/N asks. She wasn’t willing to give herself up so easily.

“You killed my Pothos! I saw you,” Harry points at her accusingly. “Saw ya flick your finger and then it died. Do y’know how hard it is for that thing to die? I forget to water it all the time and it was still doin’ great!”

“Really? It didn’t look too great when I got here -”

“That’s not true,” Harry interrupts her. “You’re tryin’ to make me feel crazy! I know what I saw.”

It’s silent. Neither Y/N nor Harry says anything for what has to be at least half a minute. Y/N doesn’t know if she should tell the truth or try to convince Harry he didn’t see what he thought he saw, and Harry is too frightened to move. Finally, Y/N breaks the silence.

“Harry, it was your bad energy that killed your plant. I was just redirecting it because I didn’t wanna be stuck with it again.” Y/N nervously tugs on the hem of her shirt.

“What do you mean?” Harry inquires, moving slightly closer to her once more. He was still frightened, but quite curious about how Y/N would explain the situation at hand.

Y/N didn’t know what to say. If there was one thing she knew, it was that her… capabilities were not really supposed to be shared with anyone. Of course, they weren’t! It was a hard concept to understand. It was assumed that people who didn’t have this ability would ostracize those who did— potentially even hurt them.

She knew in her heart that Harry wasn’t the type to ever harm her, but her mother always told her she could never be too careful. Y/N lived by those words, always replaying them in her head whenever she wanted to open up to anyone about all that she could do. Harry looks at Y/N expectantly, waiting for her to speak. She seems far away, lost in some thought that Harry didn’t want to break her from.

“Ever since I was little, I’ve always been a really empathetic person,” she starts. “It seemed like I always knew the right things to say to help someone feel better, and I could always cheer them up. My saying this isn’t to brag at all, it was just how it was.” Harry smiles at this but doesn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.

“I realized something was different about me when my friend came to school one day really sad because her fish had died that morning,” Y/N inhales softly. “Of course I felt for her, you know? Like I said, I was a very empathetic person. When I went in to give her a hug though, I felt so weird immediately after! She was fine, though. It was like she didn’t even care anymore.”

“She just wasn’t sad about it anymore?”

“She missed her fish still, of course. She was just able to reflect on how happy having a pet fish made her and all the good times she had with him. I felt terrible, though. I literally had taken on her pain just from hugging her.”

As Harry takes in what she’s saying, it all starts to make sense to him.

The second time he met her, she was so adamant about knowing what was wrong with him. Harry thought he only felt better because he had talked to her about it instead of holding it in as he usually did (and that could’ve been part of the reason!), but she had also touched him.

It had happened so quickly, Harry didn’t even think anything of it. And why would he? It was nothing more than a gentle touch, gone as quickly as it was there. Now that he knew what he did, it all made sense.

“Can I ask you something, Y/N?”

“You can ask me anything, Harry.”

“How do you always know when I’m not feelin’ well? Jus’ by looking at me?”

“Well,” Y/N starts, a bit hesitant. “I can see it. Your aura.”

“My aura?”

“Your spiritual energy— it has colors.”

“What color am I right now?”

“Red and gray. You’re scared and nervous.” Y/N responds quickly. She’s right.

“How can you see it?”

“I’m not sure. I started becoming able to see auras once I learned I was able to take away people’s emotional pain…” Y/N trails off. “I know it’s odd.”

“Can you… show me?”

“You want me to show you? Show you what?”

“The thing you jus’ did.”

“It only works when you have bad energy.”

Harry raises an eyebrow at Y/N in confusion. “Thought you said I was scared and nervous?”

“Well,” Y/N hesitates. “Now you’re… uh, pink.”

“Pink?”

“You’re feeling love.”

Harry feels his cheeks flush as he quickly looks away, hating in that moment that Y/N could literally see what he was feeling. If that was really the case, how much longer would he be able to fight with himself about how he felt about her if even she knew his true feelings?  

He’s saved by the sound of his doorbell ringing, figuring it was his assistant dropping off lunch for him and Y/N. “Be right back.” He says quietly, getting up from the couch, still avoiding eye contact with Y/N.

Now it’s Y/N’s turn to be confused.

She was beginning to notice that Harry turned pink around her quite often— literally. Not only would his skin flush at her presence, but his aura would change too. Y/N decided to tell herself there was no way it could mean anything. Of course it meant nothing! She just met this man. His feelings (or lack of) for her meant nothing. Y/N was just glad Harry couldn’t read her aura in the same way she could read his.

If he could, he would see she was always pink, too.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N.

She was magical. Literally.

After she had left that evening, Harry spent more time than he would like to admit researching auras and empathy. He learned there was a range of colors one's auras could be at any given time, and it was always subject to change. Harry figured that if he could see Y/N’s aura, it would always be shining gold.

Y/N didn’t explicitly tell Harry not to tell anyone about this, but he knew it was something he should keep to himself. He wanted her to trust him and know she was safe around him. Telling anyone what he assumed to be her biggest secret would do nothing but push her away from him— and that was the last thing Harry wanted.

He needed to hear her sweet voice again.

Harry didn’t want Y/N to think he was obsessed with her, but the cat was already out the bag. She could literally see that he had feelings for her. The way Harry saw things, this meant he could lean into his small crush on Y/N now rather than try and deny it. He just hoped she wouldn’t find him bothersome.

When she picks up his call after the third ring, Harry swears his heart just about beats out of his chest.

”Hi Harry. How are you?”

It takes him a moment to compose himself. “H- hi Y/N. Doin’ better, thanks for askin’... I was thinking of you.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” Harry hums. “S’why I called. What are you up to today?”

“Nothing, really. Just at work.”

Oh. Work.

Y/N was so celestial, heavenly that Harry had forgotten she at her core a regular person who still had to work to pay their bills, just like everyone else. Just like him.

“I don’t mean to bother you while you’re busy. I’ll let you go.” Harry offers this as a courtesy, but he’s hoping Y/N will say he’s not a bother at all and she’s happy to talk to him.

“I think that would work out a bit better. I’ll talk to you as soon as I can. Bye, Harry!”

Harry is met with three short beeps that signify the call has ended.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about Harry.

He called her first! It made her heart flutter to know he was thinking of her. She’s glad he doesn’t know she was thinking about him as well.

It was nice to hear from him. Truth be told, Y/N was always worried about Harry. She worried that he wasn’t sleeping enough, eating enough, or telling people ‘yes’ when he should really be saying ‘no’. She worried he was unhappy. All she wanted was for him to be happy. Although Y/N couldn’t physically see him over the phone, she knew he was doing well today.

Y/N couldn’t say she wasn’t surprised to see Harry’s number flash across her phone. She thought that surely after telling him what she did he would want nothing to do with her. She was glad that he didn’t scare away easily, and that just made her feel even more warmth inside of her body. Y/N looked around the workroom filled with her other co-workers and she hoped there was no one else like her in the building lest they see how pink she was. She was absolutely smitten!

“Y/N, are you with us? What do you think?”

Y/N is broken out of her thoughts by her boss with the call of her name. In her Harry-haze she had completely zoned out, forgetting she was in the middle of an important work meeting.

“I’m very sorry. My mind was somewhere else for a moment,” she turns to face her boss, eyes wonder-filled.  “Would you mind repeating the question?” Y/N sees her boss briefly turn from red to pink and back to yellow before he repeats himself, clearing his throat.

Y/N smirks to herself. Men were too easy.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“What’s got you so smiley?”

Harry jumps slightly, redirecting his attention to his manager. “Whatdya mean?”

“Been smiling and strumming your guitar for ten minutes straight,” Jeff narrows his eyes at Harry. “Are you thinking of that girl again?”

“Y/N,” Harry corrects him immediately. “What are you gonna do if I am?”

“Tell you to snap out of it, man. She’s got you this distracted already and she doesn’t even know you have a crush on her?”

Harry wants to tell him that she does even though he’s not explicitly stated it, but then that would lead to a conversation that wasn’t his to have. So he changes the subject—slightly.

“What do think about me inviting Y/N to the studio? You’ll finally be able to put a face to the name,” Harry adds once he sees the look his manager gives him every time he’s about to tell him no. “I trust her. I jus’ want her opinion on a few things. I know she won’t leak anything.”

“I’m not sure if that’s your greatest idea…” Jeff trails off giving Harry one of his infamous looks of doubt.

“I wouldn’t even be suggesting this if I didn’t trust her with everything in me. ‘Ve never suggested this any other time, have I?”

Jeff gives Harry a pointed look, although he can’t argue with that.

“Fine, invite her. She’s signing papers though…”

Jeff’s voice is nothing more than background noise as he dials Y/N’s number, which he embarrassingly already knows by heart.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

When Harry comes out of the large, wooden double-doors to meet Y/N, he’s glowing. He’s a flash of dazzling gold and pink, his aura not being able to just land on one. Y/N is flattered that he still turns pink when he sees her, and relieved to see him so happy. So relaxed.

“So glad you could make it,” Harry tells Y/N, pulling her in for a tight hug. “My manager had a fit when I told him you were comin’, he’s jus’ very protective of me and my music. Don’t take it personally.”

“I understand,” Y/N tells him honestly. “I don’t blame your manager for not being too keen on me crashing in on one of your sessions. I could leave my phone in the car if that would make you both feel better?”

Y/N made things so easy. She was perfect in Harry’s eyes.

“I trust you completely. It might make my manager feel a bit better though…” Harry trails off, feeling sheepish. Y/N nods and unlocks her car without saying anything, retrieving her phone from her purse and hiding it away in her glove compartment.

“There. Just me and my ears now.” She lets out the sweetest giggle Harry’s ever heard, and he swears he could melt.

“Follow me, then.”

Harry makes his way back inside the studio but feels weird with Y/N trailing so closely behind him, not speaking or physically touching him. He stops and turns to face her, reluctantly reaching his hand out for her to grab. She looks at him for a moment, analyzing his energy before shakily intertwining her finger with his. Harry glows pink—so much so that he was nearly shining red. Y/N was having a difficult time differentiating between the glow of his aura and the glow of his cheeks.

He continues walking down the hall, now feeling like he was on top of the world because he had the most beautiful girl in the universe’s hand in his. Harry was ready to get to work. She was his new biggest inspiration.

Y/N’s having the greatest time watching Harry’s colors. He’s so happy and full of love! The fact that Harry was in such good spirits possibly because of Y/N made her feel like she was floating on a cloud.

Harry feels Y/N’s hesitation to enter the room that now holds not only Jeff but Mitch as well. She pulls back slightly on his hand, hiding timidly behind his broad shoulders. “What’s wrong?” He asks quietly, turning to face her.

“I don’t think they’re happy to see me…” Y/N trails off.

“How do you know?” Harry asks habitually before he realizes who he’s talking to. He knows how she knows. He internally cringes at his question.

“They’re both red,” she shifts from foot to foot. “I can leave. I don’t want to cause any problems—”

“No!” Harry says a bit too loudly. Jeff and Mitch turn to look in their direction, finally aware of their presence. Harry blushes, speaking a bit more quietly. “Sorry. Jus’... don’t leave. I promise they’re not mad that you’re here. They’re just a bit nervous because you’re new and they’ve never met you before. I’ll tell ‘em you left your phone in the car though and it’ll all be good. Yeah?”

Y/N nods, not completely certain Harry could get these men to warm up to her just because he said so. He tilts her chin up so she’s looking in his eyes, and he gives her a warm smile.

“Hey… what color am I?”

Y/N swallows thickly before answering. “You’re yellow… and pink.”

“See? ‘M not red. It’s all good, darling. Believe me when I say that.”

Y/N’s heart beats faster at the pet name and she just hopes Harry can’t hear it. She gives him a forced smile before grabbing his hand again and following him inside of the small room.

“Jeff, Mitch,” Harry starts, swinging Y/N’s hand in his. “This is Y/N.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Jeff says. Harry shoots him a look, silently pleading him to not say anything that’ll embarrass him. Luckily for Harry, Jeff catches onto this and keeps his introduction simple. “I’m Jeff, Harry’s manager.”

“Hi,” Y/N responds. Harry’s heart-strings feel like they’re being tugged at when he hears how quiet Y/N has become. “I left my phone in the car.” Jeff shoots Harry a surprised looked to which Harry gives a small nod in confirmation. Jeff hums, satisfied.

“We’re glad you could join us. I’m not sure if you have any experience in music, but it’ll be nice to get a fresh opinion on some things.”

Mitch gives Y/N a small nod and a smile, and Harry feels her grip on his hand tighten. “Don’t worry. Mitch is just shy.” Harry quietly reassures her. She loosens her grip on his hand slightly, feeling a bit more at ease.

“Where should I sit?”

“Y’can sit on that couch over there. Can I get you anything to drink? Have you ate, I can order food if you haven’t?”

Harry and Y/N are in their own world, only focused on each other. This doesn’t go unnoticed to Jeff or Mitch, and they share knowing looks behind the pair’s backs.

“What do you guys want to eat? Y/N hasn’t eaten yet,” Harry says, already searching for his text thread with his assistant. “Sushi? Mexican?”

“Whatever Y/N wants,” Mitch says, strumming a few random chords on his guitar. “Anything’s fine with me.”

Harry’s satisfied with this answer, just wanting to give all his attention back to Y/N. “Whatdya want to eat, love?”

“Do you all like veggie pizza?”

“Eh–”

Harry shoots Jeff a look that tells him not to disagree with her, so Jeff looks down and acts preoccupied with his phone. “That sounds really good, Y/N. I’ll order that.”

Harry actually hated veggie pizza. He hoped Y/N couldn’t tell.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

”I just miss your accent and your friends…”

Harry was blue and Y/N hated it.

She knew he was pulling from old memories for his songs, but she hated when he was upset. Y/N was in a trance, though. Harry’s voice was beautiful. His songs pulled her in like magic. They were captivating, and so, so beautiful.

Y/N was enjoying being in the recording studio. She never had any experience like it, and it was interesting to see all the hard work that went into making just one song.

”Don’t you call him “baby”, we’re not talking lately,” Harry sings into his microphone sadly, licking his lips during the pause. “Don’t you call him what you used to call me…”

Y/N just wanted to go into the recording booth and hug Harry, take his pain away. She knew now wasn’t the time nor place for that, though. She’d check on him later.

“That’s good,” Jeff says, giving Harry a thumbs up. Harry gives him one back and takes his clunky earphones off, setting them beside his feet.

“How was that?” Harry asks Y/N as soon as he’s out of the recording booth. The musician in him knew it wasn’t bad, but he still wanted her praise.

“Very beautiful! Are you okay?” She gives Harry one of those knowing looks he’s growing to love. He shrugs, leaning down to speak quietly to her.

“Singin’ about someone who used to be very special to me,” he says, glancing down at his Vans-clad feet. “I’m okay, though. Don’t worry about me.”

Y/N wanted to tell Harry she always worried about him. She wanted to scream it in his face so he understood how much she cared for his well-being. She does neither of the two. “Okay, Harry. I’m just checking.”

Harry loved that she was “just checking”. He wanted to tell Y/N that he never wanted her to stop caring for him, as he would never stop caring for her. He does neither of the two. “Thank you for checking, Y/N.”

Unbeknownst to them, they were both falling deeper for each other.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Y/N, are we gonna watch our movie tonight, or are you busy?” Y/N’s roommate, Amalia, peaks her head into her bedroom. Y/N was busy hanging upside down on her bed. Texting Harry.

“What? Oh, is it Friday? Let me just take off my makeup... “ Y/N locks her phone and slowly sits up, taking care not to smush her sleeping kitty who was currently snoring beside her.

“Who were you texting? You’ve been on your phone a lot more than usual lately,” Amalia notes, coming completely into Y/N’s room. “A boy?”

Y/N feels her body heat up at her roommate’s observation. “Maybe…”

“Y/N! You’ve gotta tell me! Who is he, is he cute?” Her roommate makes herself comfortable on Y/N’s bed, folding her legs beneath her. Sapphire startles slightly but quickly falls back asleep, curling her tail closer to her.

“You might know him,” Y/N begins. She and Harry never had a conversation about telling others about their association with others. She trusted her roommate, but she wasn’t sure if he would appreciate it. She decides she’ll just call him. “I’ll actually just call him. Hopefully, he’s not busy.”

Amalia finds it odd that Y/N would rather call this man than just tell her about him, but she says nothing, of course. She was used to her roommate’s behavior. She was different, and that’s why she loved her so much!

“Can you FaceTime him? I wanna see what he looks like,” Amalia claps her hands together out of excitement, feeling anticipation bubble in her stomach. She was hoping her roommate finally found someone for her so they could join her and her boyfriend on double dates and couples game nights.

“FaceTime him?” Y/N had never done that before. She and Harry always just spoke on the phone, and lately, they had gotten into texting. She hoped he wouldn’t mind. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Y/N pulls up the app on her phone and types in Harry’s contact name (which was ‘Harry’ with three pink hearts, which she would never tell him!) and bites her lip as she waits for him to answer. As an afterthought, she reaches for her earphones and connects them to her phone just in case her roommate recognizes his voice. After all, everyone on the planet knew who Harry was except for Y/N. He answers almost immediately, a dimpled smile on his face and a beautiful pink light surrounding him.

“Was jus’ thinking of you. Are we in sync? I swear I was about to call you,” Harry tells her, not being able to stop his toothy grin. “Is everything okay?”

“Well,” Y/N feels nervous. His gaze is still as intense and attentive, even though a phone screen. “I’m just hanging out with my roommate and she noticed I’ve been smiling at my phone a lot—”

“A very observant roommate.”

“Yeah, and she wanted to know if I was texting a boy. I didn’t know if it was okay to say anything but she’s beside me so do you want to say hi? It’s okay if you don’t want to, and I’m sorry if you’re busy right now…”

Harry’s gaze visibly softens. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“You know why.”

Harry hums. “I’d love to meet your roommate. Go ahead and give her the phone.”

Y/N examines Harry for a moment, trying to determine if he’s telling the truth. His aura is slightly tinged red but it’s mainly yellow, making him glow the color of a sunset. He was probably a bit anxious, but he was happy. That was most important to Y/N. Amalia is sitting at the end of Y/N’s bed quietly, scratching Sapphire’s head while she waits. She watches as Y/N unplugs her earphones from her phone and wordlessly hands it to her.

Amalia’s mouth drops.

“Hi, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Harry.”

Amalia’s entire body feels tingly.

“H- hi. Uh, I’m Amalia. Y/N’s roommate,” she looks up at Y/N, eyes wide. “It’s… wow. I’m sorry, I kinda don’t know what to say right now. I’m such a big fan of yours!”

Y/N hears Harry’s beautiful laugh and she smiles. It was his shy laugh. He was flattered. Maybe a bit flustered.

“That’s very, very nice of you. Thank you for the support.”

“Are you and Y/N dating? I can’t believe she didn’t tell me!” Amalia gives Y/N an accusatory scowl and she feels her body heat up at her roommate’s words.

“Not at the moment, but I’m working on it,” Harry tells her. Y/N doesn’t need to see him to know he’s pink. “I think she was jus’ tryin’ to protect my privacy. Which I appreciate, of course. But a friend of Y/N is a friend of mine! She has good judgment.”

Y/N can’t believe Harry’s “working on it”. He cares for her much more than she had initially thought, and Y/N just hopes he knows how much she cares for him as well. Even if she doesn’t say it.

“I’m gonna give the phone back to Y/N before I say something to embarrass myself, but it was really nice to meet you!” Amalia shakily hands the phone back to Y/N as Harry is telling her it was nice to meet her too.

Y/N is happy to see his face again. He immediately turns pink once he sees her again, a light blush tinging his cheeks. “She’s very nice. We should all go out to brunch one afternoon, how’s that sound?” Y/N nods, glancing at her roommate who currently looked like she was on the verge of fainting, bright pink just as Harry was. She was infatuated.

“Amalia’s amazing,” Y/N replies. “I was just calling to say hi, but I’m glad to see you’re doing good. I’ll talk to you later?” A deep indigo color slowly surrounds Harry at the prospect of Y/N ending the call, making Y/N frown. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Friday’s are our movie nights…”

“Oh!” Harry turns yellow again. “I didn’t mean to keep you from that. I’d like that, though. Lunch tomorrow?”

“And the studio?” Y/N asks, used to their routine. Harry shakes his head.

“Was thinking we do something else. Get out of there for the afternoon? ‘M sure you get bored jus’ watchin’ me sing all day. The last thing I want is for you to be bored.”

Y/N nearly laughed out loud. She was never bored when she was with Harry. She could simply sit and watch the grass grow with him, and she’d still be thoroughly entertained.

“I don’t want you to fall behind because of me.”

“S’my album. I can take a day off, darling. Hey–– can ya look at me?” Y/N knows Harry is asking her to examine what color he is. She nods after a moment.

“Okay, Harry. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” she takes a thoughtful pause as she usually does. “Have a good night.”

“I’ll be counting down the minutes. You too, Y/N.” The call disconnects. Y/N feels her heart about to beat out of her chest. Counting down the minutes.

She was counting down the minutes, too.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry was nervous to see Y/N. He hadn’t been alone with her since the day at his house when she came over to keep him company while he was sick. Their relationship was progressing quicker than anticipated, but neither of the two had any complaints.

Per Harry’s request (or, after a ton of his begging) Y/N agreed to let Harry pick her up instead of driving separately and meeting up like they usually do. He was excited to finally know where Y/N lived. When he thought of any space Y/N cultivated, he imagined it to be a bit cluttered. Lots of paintings on the walls. Perhaps some personal photographs of friends and family.

When Harry approaches Y/N’s apartment complex, he isn’t surprised to see that she lives in one of the oldest-looking buildings he’s ever seen. He was sure that when he asked her about it later, she would tell him that old buildings had the most character or something along those lines. Harry parks in record time, albeit like a bit of an asshole, and grabs the bouquet of flowers he picked up on his way to her before hurrying out of his car. His sunglasses immediately go on and his beanie gets pulled low over his forehead in the off chance there was someone who could recognize him anywhere nearby.

“Four, eight, two, five,” Harry mutters Y/N’s gate code under his breath as he approaches it. “Four, eight, two, five…” He’s delighted when it works. Against Y/N’s wishes, he didn’t write it down when she told him, adamant about having the best memory in the world. He was glad he didn’t forget it and have to call her and ask for it again.

Harry has no difficulty at all finding her apartment. Just as she said, there were several potted plants surrounding the door and a plaque that read, ‘Welcome to our home!’. He smiled to himself. It was just so Y/N. He firmly knocks and takes a step back, tightly gripping the bouquet in his hands. The door flies open moments later and Harry is met with Y/N’s beautiful face. His nerves immediately dissipate.

“Hi, Harry–– oh! Those are beautiful!” She opens the door a bit wider. “Please, come in!”

Harry’s happy. She seems happy. Of course, he couldn’t know for sure in the way that he could, but Harry was quickly learning her mannerisms.

“Hi, darlin’. S’nice to see you,” he leans down to place a delicate kiss on her cheek. “You’re lookin’ as beautiful as ever.”

“I haven’t even gotten changed yet,” she replies dismissively, shutting the door. “I completely lost track of time. I was helping Amalia get ready for a date that she’s going on and it made me forget all about ours.”

Harry could die a happy man right now. Y/N just referred to their spending time together as a date!

“No apologizing,” Harry says sternly, handing the flowers to Y/N. “‘M not upset about it, am I? We’ve got all the time in the world.”

Y/N looks down shyly at the shabby rug beneath her feet. “Do you wanna help me pick out an outfit? I’m not too sure about what I should wear… I really think it would help if you actually told me where we were going.”

“Nice try,” Harry chuckles, following her through the apartment. It looked just as he pictured it would. “Already told you it’s a surprise.”

“I thought I would try again.”

Y/N’s room was incredible. There were plants everywhere even more than the ones surrounding her front door. Some were even hanging from the ceiling! Her walls were a pale yellow color. She had glow-in-the-dark stars and planets stuck to her ceiling, a ginormous rug that covered probably half of her wooden floor, and paintings taped haphazardly to the wall. It looked like she made them herself, too. They were lovely.

“Your room is amazing,” Harry tells her, flopping onto her bed while she digs around in her closet. Even though he had never been there before, he immediately feels comfortable. At home. “Where’s Sapphire?”

“Oh, she’s around here somewhere,” Y/N’s voice sounds a bit muffled from being in her closet. “She might be hiding. She doesn’t like men.”

“Did you tell her that I’m nice?”

Y/N turns to look at him, two shirts in her hand. “I can’t force her to like you, Harry. What do you think about these shirts?”

“I think you would look good in all of them,” Harry feels his heart rate pick up under her gaze. “You may get cold if you wear something sleeveless, though.”

Y/N says nothing in response, just stares at him. To anyone else, her staring may be weird, but Harry knew what she was doing. He stares back at her just as intensely, raising an eyebrow. Finally, she nods, turning her attention back to her closet.

“Should I wear something with long sleeves?”

Harry hums in response to her question. “I think that would be a good idea.”

Y/N turns to face him again, tugging at her oversized sleep shirt. “Do you think you can take down some shirts on the shelf for me? I don’t feel like going to get a chair all the way from the kitchen…”

“Of course I can,” Harry immediately gets up from his lying position on Y/N’s bed. “Which ones?”

“The ones in that corner,” Y/N replies, standing beside Harry. He never noticed how much shorter she was than him until she was asking him to reach things off the top-shelf for her. Harry loved it.

He reaches up with ease, grabbing a stack of neatly folded long-sleeves. In the process of pulling them down, a box comes falling off the shelf, hitting the floor with a loud clang! and the sound of broken glass. “Shit,” Harry mutters, bending down to reach for the box. “Sorry about tha’, pet–”

“Don’t touch that!” Y/N exclaims, pushing past Harry to grab the box before he does. Harry backs up, putting his hands up in the air like he was a criminal who’d just been caught.

“I didn’t touch it, I promise,” Harry quickly reassures her. “Why can’t I touch it? What is that?”

“Remember how I was telling you about bad energy?” Her voice drops to a whisper. Harry nods. “This is where I store everyone's bad energy whenever I get stuck with it. They’re in little viles, you know what I mean? Those little tubes?”

“Yeah.”

“I think the tubes broke when it fell… I can never open this box again because then the bad energy will get out and go back to their owner's body.”

Harry doesn’t say anything, trying to take in what Y/N just told him. It wasn’t the oddest thing he’s heard since he met her. “Is any of my bad energy in there?”

“Yes. Remember when we were at the Greek food place?”

Harry smiles at the memory. “How could I forget? I think that was the day that I knew I had to get to know ya. I was properly obsessed with the idea of runnin’ into you again for days.” Y/N looks away as she usually does when he gets her flustered but this time Harry moves closer to her, snaking his arms around her waist.

“Thank you for always makin’ sure ‘m happy, love,” Harry’s lips are dangerously close to hers, so close that she can smell the scent of mint on his breath. “You don’t even have to touch me to make me happy. Jus’ bein’ near you is enough.” Y/N lets out a shaky breath, not trusting her voice enough to do anything other than nod. Both of their hearts are about to beat out of their chests.

“I’d do anything to make you happy, Harry,” Y/N finally says, staring directly into his eyes. “You deserve all the happiness this life has to offer you.”

“Likewise,” Harry says, feeling intoxicated from standing so close to her. “Y/N, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Y/N gives Harry the biggest smile before standing on her tiptoes, smushing her lips against Harry’s. His eyes shut as he melts into the kiss, having to remind himself to stop smiling so he can properly kiss her back. Her lips are soft, and she tastes just as sweet as she actually is. His entire body tingles and his chest burns due to lack of oxygen, but he was determined not to break the kiss first. His stomach twisted from all the butterflies he had, but it was a feeling no one had made him feel in a long, long time.

Y/N’s the first one to break the kiss. She giggles as she rests her head against Harry’s chest, gasping slightly for air. “You’re a very good kisser.”

“You too.” Harry’s breathless. He doesn’t want to pull away from her so he settles on intaking short bursts of air.

“I’m gonna get changed before I decide to stand here and just kiss you all day,” Y/N tells him, finally breaking their contact. “Can you wait in the living room?”

“I wouldn’t hate that,” Harry says as he places a quick peck on her lips. “‘M gonna go put your flowers in something so they don’t die. Y’think Sapphire will come out of hiding and let me pet her since her mommy finally let me kiss her?”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“I thought we were getting lunch?”

Y/N had been sat in Harry’s passenger seat for slightly over an hour now, his hand hardly leaving hers the entire time. He was yellow for the most part (except when Y/N would speak he turned pink). Song after song played lowly over the stereo, but it was mainly just background noise–– neither one of them was really listening to it.

“We are.”

“Why are we driving so far?” 

“I wanna take you to a really nice spot. Is that okay?”

“Are we almost there?” She stares intensely at Harry and she knows he can feel her eyes on him. He flashes red for a moment causing Y/N to cock her head in confusion. “Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t want you to think our date is boring.”

“Why would I think it’s boring?”

“Have you ever been to Balboa Park? San Diego?” Harry tears his eyes from the road briefly to look at her and he’s relieved to see a look of excitement in her eyes.

“I’ve never been but from the pictures I’ve seen it looks sooo beautiful! Are we going there?” Her grip on his hand tightens slightly.

“Mhm,” Y/N sees Harry visibly relax. “Figure we could grab a bite after? Or before, depending on how hungry you are.”

“We should eat before! Are we allowed to eat in the park? We should have a picnic–– can we do that?” Y/N is talking a mile a minute, too excited to slow down. She turns in the passenger seat to face Harry fully, hand still in his. “We’re going to the gardens, right?” 

“We’re doin’ whatever you want, love. I have some things planned that I think you would like but nothing’s set in stone.”

Y/N loves the fact that Harry took it upon himself to plan out their day. She decides she would go along with whatever he had planned, seeing as he’s been there before and she hasn’t.

They arrive at the park approximately thirty minutes later and Y/N quickly unbuckles her seatbelt and lets herself out of the car before Harry can open the door for her himself. He laughs to himself at her excitement.

“Where are we going first?” Y/N reaches for Harry’s hand seemingly out of habit, not thinking twice before doing so. If she wasn’t busy looking around in awe, she’d see Harry looking down at their interlocked fingers with a big smile on his face.

“How ‘bout we get you something to eat first then go find a spot to have a lil’ picnic? The last time I was here I remember seein’ people eating under this ginormous tree–”

“Okay!” Y/N agrees cheerily, dragging Harry through the parking lot. She was leading the way even though she had no clue where she was going. “Wait, where are we going?”

“How about I lead the way?” Harry is a mixture of green and yellow. He was happy and enjoying the prospect of a nature-filled day.

“Harry, what’s your favorite part about nature?”

“What’s tha’?”

“I see that you like nature, so I just wanted to know what you liked the most about it,” Y/N replies, swinging their hands. 

“It’s calming. I think ‘ve written some of my best songs surrounded by trees and water and things like that. What do you like the most about nature?”

“It’s beautiful. Plants help us and we help them.”

Harry smiles in response to her answer but says nothing, walking her the rest of the way through the parking lot and to the entrance of the park. Once inside they set out on finding something to quickly fill their stomachs with, not wanting to waste too much time eating.

“How do sandwiches sound?” Harry asks, nodding his head in the direction of a sandwich shop. “Quick and easy, isn’t it?”

“Can we still eat them under the fig tree?”

“Whatever you’d like, darling. S’your world, ‘m just livin’ in it.” 

Even though he lets out a chuckle after saying that, Y/N knew he was being completely serious.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry could listen to Y/N talk all day. He never wanted to stop hearing her sweet voice. Y/N’s attention was fixated on the beautiful, blooming gardens–– but Harry was only fixated on her.

She pointed out nearly everything they saw, impressing Harry with her knowledge on plant names and pointless information on how to care for them. She asked Harry to stand in front of all her favorite plants so she could take a picture of him to “commemorate the day” and Harry was more than willing to do so. Anything to keep a smile on her face. Y/N had grown tired of carrying her purse over her shoulder about an hour back and Harry even offered to wear it for her so she wouldn’t have a sore shoulder the next morning.

They decided to call it quits once the sun started setting, walking hand in hand quietly back to Harry’s car. He opens the door for her and checks to make sure she’s all the way in before slamming it shut and walking around to his side. He immediately reaches for her hand again, loving the way it felt in his way too much to not hold it at all times.

“Did you have a good time today?” Harry asks, looking at Y/N’s face in the dim light. She nods sheepishly, looking down at the hands.

“I had an amazing time. I can’t believe you drove all the way out here just for me,” she traces her fingers over one of Harry’s rings. “Thank you for today.”

“How many times have I gotta tell ya I’d do anything for you?” Harry questions, leaning over the center console to be closer to her. “Loved seein’ that beautiful smile on your face today. Made me happy.”

“You’re just saying that…”

“Oh, come off it,” Harry jokes, kissing her cheek before leaning back over to start his car. “Know you saw how happy I was the whole day. S’all because of you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry sees Y/N lean over as he previously was so her face is close to his. She gently places the hand that was holding Harry’s on his face and turns his head so he’s fully facing her, licking her lips before she connects them with his. Harry melts into the kiss as he did earlier, feeling as if time stopped when their lips were pressed together. It was the most gentle, loving kiss Harry ever shared with another person.

He could get used to this.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

please let me know what you thought!

[archived-kin]

solomon deserves a husband so i'm giving him one (it's you)

note from kin: i don’t know HOW i’ve managed to get this out so soon after my last piece but i do know that it is a miracle (now watch me disappear for like a month lmao)

anyway there’s a severe lack of content for the boys in this fandom and therefore i am here to try to mitigate that!!

(as a heads up, this is sort of an au version of obey me’s story?? there’s no exchange program, and the general human world doesn’t know about the devildom or celestial realm, apart from sorcerers and similar special cases. solomon and simeon both still visit the devildom, though - solomon because he has a sort of job at the r.a.d., and simeon as an ambassador sort of thing for the celestial realm. the r.a.d.’s also less of a school and more of an organisation?? i haven’t really fleshed it out haha)

fandom: obey me!

character(s): male! reader, solomon, mammon (briefly), simeon (briefly)

pairing(s): solomon/reader

warning(s): blasphemy??? solomon disses god really briefly and that’s about it

genre: fluff!!!!!!!!!

As a general rule of thumb, Solomon doesn’t believe in destiny.

He’s lived long enough to know that, no matter what he does, the universe does not care about him, much less have some sort of plan for his future. The course that the world takes isn’t affected by some grand puppet master pulling the strings; one has to force the so-called path of fate in the direction they want it to take if they want something. Solomon knows this better than anyone.

It’s as much a downfall as it is a strength - as much as power as he’s amassed over the countless years, his constant need to challenge the universe’s power has lead him down a path far from humanity. There had been a time when he was like every other human on the Earth, when he was still young, full of hope and determination and promise, believing earnestly in some God high in the sky who would guide him through his life.

He shudders to think what sort of insufferable fool he’d been back then. An almighty God? Don’t make him laugh. The ruler of the Celestial Realm is incompetent at best, and a downright childish brat at worst. He doesn’t know how the angels put up with him - though he supposes his realm-smiting power is part of it. Why the universe chose to place such power on such a being’s shoulders will always be beyond him.

Long as it has been since he had been so naive, Solomon has learnt his lesson, to say the least. He’s seen people come and go, witnessed kings and queens reign and fall, watched on as friends and family live and die. It’s a truth that he’s been forced to learn across the years of his long, long life, a curse that he brought upon himself the moment he gave up the purity of his soul in pursuit of magical arts. 

He supposes he’s always had an insatiable thirst for the unknown - to play all his cards out front, to tempt fate’s hand, to jump into the void and hope to find ground beneath his feet when he lands. It’s that sort of reckless abandon and hunt for knowledge that has led him so far down this path, through so many years, across so many sleepless nights. The world continues to swirl around him, always changing, but Solomon refuses to be swept away. Because, even in the tumultuous movement of the universe, there has always been one constant that keeps him anchored - you.

The night he'd first met you isn’t as clear in his mind as he would have liked. He wants to be able to remember everything - the way the soft blue light of the will-o’-whisps had lit up your eyes in the dark of the night, the way that your hand had felt in his as you greeted him with a handshake, the way that you had said his name for the first time - in sharp detail, but Solomon knows better than to hope to recall something so long ago so perfectly.

He’d still been relatively new to a sorcerer’s life at the time - excited and determined and a little too full of himself. You… well, he doesn’t remember exactly, but he does remember thinking that you must be the most handsome being to exist. The you of today would probably shake your head and dismiss the past you as an obnoxious high hoper, but Solomon has loved you for so many years that he’s never been able to think of you as anything less than perfect.

There are times when he wondered how he managed to stumble upon such luck. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Solomon has has had truly insufferable periods over the years he’s known you, and he’s always considered it a miracle that you still chose to stay. Even through all the restless nights and the exhausting trips, even after all of the clashes and vexation, you have refused to give up on him.

He had asked you once, in the aftermath of an argument spurred by his inability to confide in you and your own frustration with his refusal to communicate. He remembers that night so vividly that it might well have happened just yesterday - the frustrated shouts, the shattering of glass, the warmth of your arms around his shoulders as he finally collapsed on himself. He doesn’t know what your face had looked like as he stuttered the question out in stuttering breaths, head buried in your shoulder in an effort to conceal his tears, but he imagines that it had been soft.

“I’m not going to leave you to yourself,” You had told him matter-of-factly, stroking his hair with such fondness  that it still sometimes brings a tear to his eye when he remembers it on particularly long nights. “And I’m not giving up on you, either - not now, not ever.”

Solomon had been unable to speak, too choked up by his feelings and the sudden, overwhelming love spreading through his entire body to reply. He’d only sunk deeper into your embrace, wishing that the moment could last forever.

I wonder if he still remembers that…?

“...lomon! Anyone home?!”

He jolts up from the table he’s sitting at so abruptly that he nearly knocks his head right into Mammon’s chin. The Avater of Greed, however, reacts quickly, and hops back before Solomon can break his jawbone.

“Jeez, you’re off on a different planet today,” He comments, setting his hands on his hips as Solomon shoots him the sort of look that tells him that he’s not particularly enthused about his presence at the moment. “What’s up with ya?”

Solomon isn’t quite sure how to answer. Sorry, I got distracted thinking about how perfect and lovely my husband is and how I’m the luckiest man in the entire world - nay, the universe - to have him. He nearly physically shudders at the thought of how much teasing he’d receive if he answered like that.

Instead, he chooses a much safer and still technically true option. “Just thinking about going home today.”

Mammon nods in understanding, pulling up a seat next to him and throwing himself down into it without much grace. “I feel ya. S’ been a long day.”

“You’ve barely done anything today,” Solomon quips flatly, not particularly impressed by the demon’s attempt at… empathy? Relatability? Either way, it isn’t working. “I doubt it’s been that hard.”

“Now, now, Solomon, let’s not be rude,” interjects a soft voice from behind them. Simeon is still dressed in his fancy envoy cloak - the one so long and heavy that it trails along behind him like a bridal train, decorated with a number of elaborate golden charms that jingle as he moves.

Solomon attempts to shoot him a slightly annoyed look, but it’s kind of hard to stay irritated by one of the literal embodiments of holiness and light, even if he wakes you up at very unholy hours of the morning to help him figure out how to answer an email. Solomon isn’t ungrateful for the new age of technology descending on humanity, but he’d like it a lot better if it hadn’t somehow reached the angels as well. The amount of times he’s had to tell Simeon that he needs to actually turn his D.D.D. on before he starts calling someone is… embarrassing, to say the least.

“You’re back in the Devildom, I see,” He observes as the angel pulls up a seat and sits beside him. “Did Michael send you down again?”

Simeon nods with a smile. “There were some arrangements that needed to be made with Lord Diavolo. Naturally, I volunteered.”

“Naturally,” Solomon echoes, raising a brow at his friend. “I don’t suppose your biases had anything to do with your decision?”

“Well, they may have had some effect,” Simeon answers with a shameless smile and shrug, beginning to undo the tassels of his heavy cloak and draping it on the back of chair he’s sitting on. He’s still wearing all of his regular clothes underneath it - including the other, much smaller cloak. Solomon wonders how he hasn’t somehow melted in the heat.

“When’re you gonna start heading home, anyway?” Mammon asks, beginning to pick at a loose thread on his jacket sleeve. “It’s gettin’ late.”

Solomon blinks and looks up at the clock. “...ah, you’re right. In that case, I'll get going now.”

Mammon shoots him an odd look as he pushes himself up from the table and reaches for his bag, managing to hoist it onto his shoulder with some effort. He’s never been particularly good at heavy lifting - you’re usually the one helping him carry everything around the house.

“Oi, oi, what’s the rush?” the demon asks as Solomon adjusts the weight of his bag and starts heading for the door. “You on a timer or something?”

“I promised [Name] I’d be home earlier tonight,” is Solomon’s slightly absent-minded reply as he fiddles about in his pocket to find his transportation charm, nearly losing his balance and dropping his bag in the process. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

Mammon watches him in clear confusion for a moment as he pats down his pockets, mumbling a quiet curse under his breath as he realises that he’s left his charm at home again. How many times this month does that make it now...? He supposes that he could always perform a teleportation spell, but knowing his luck with those, he’ll probably end up somewhere in Morocco again.

“Oi, Simeon,” Mammon hisses to the angel, who cocks his head slightly to the side and leans over so as to hear him more clearly. “Who’s this ‘[Name]’ Solomon’s talkin’ about?”

“You don’t know?” Simeon blinks at him in blatant perplexion - as if he can’t even fathom the idea that Mammon might not know who Solomon’s talking about. “He’s talking about his husband.”

There’s a long moment of silence. Then—

“Solomon has a HUSBAND!?” Mammon practically shrieks, completely flabbergasted. “I thought he was totally, like, the forever alone type!”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed?” is Simeon’s bewildered response. “Who do you think Solomon is always talking about buying groceries for?”

“I thought he was just buyin’ them for himself!” Mammon fires back, looking far more ruffled and shocked than he probably should be. He whips around to look at Solomon, who’s flicking through the little packet of blank charms he keeps on him at all times in an effort to find the right one to create a temporary transportation charm. He’s had to do it so many times this month that he’s already beginning to run out. “You’re married?!”

“Of course,” Solomon answers vaguely, briefly raising his left hand, allowing Mammon to spot the soft glint of a ring around his fourth finger. “You’re not?”

“Wh— ‘course I’m not!” Mammon exclaims, positively scandalised by the very concept. “Why would I get married, huh?! It’s a waste of time and a waste of money!”

“Think whatever you like,” Solomon dismisses him easily, which only seems to irritate Mammon further.

Finally having found the right blank charm, he plucks it out and begins carefully tracing patterns onto it with a single glowing finger. He’s dimly aware of Mammon furiously whispering to Simeon in the background, with the angel responding in kind, most likely sharing some exaggerated story from back when the three of you had worked together - when Solomon had accepted a job from the Celestial Realm. The details of the whole thing are a little fuzzy to him now, long as it has been, but he’s almost completely sure that Simeon somehow still remembers the whole thing flawlessly.

“How old even is he?!” He hears Mammon hiss.

“I’m not so sure myself,” Simeon replies, placing his chin in a thoughtful hand. “Let’s see… their two millennial anniversary’s coming up in about two years, and I remember Solomon saying that they got married when he was around two hundred or so… which means he’s about twenty-one hundred years old.”

“Holy shit,” Mammon mutters in disbelief, turning glance at the sorcerer as he starts folding down the corners of his charm into the right shape. “Humans aren’t supposed to live that long. How’s his husband still alive, then?”

“That isn’t really a question for me to answer,” Simeon shakes his head slightly. “I suppose you can always ask him yourself if Solomon ever brings him to work with him.”

“I doubt it,” Solomon speaks up for the first time since announcing his departure. “He’s usually busy during the day. Besides, transportation charms make him queasy, and I’m not making him walk all the way down here.”

“Aren’t you a wizard?” Mammon asks, scratching his head. “Just do one of ya fancy teleportation spells. Why d’you need a charm?”

Solomon sighs. He hates to admit it, but he can’t be bothered to make up some other reason to cover up for himself. “I’m afraid that teleportation spells aren’t actually particularly accurate. We could end up somewhere in the Pacific if I’m not careful.”

Mammon looks thunderstruck. “Then what about all those times you’ve teleported us?! Don’t tell me we coulda ended up in, like, the Archaic Pit or something?!”

“Well, it was always a possibility,” Solomon shrugs in reply, finishing the charm with a deft flick of his hand. “You’re a demon, I sure you could have handled yourself.”

“But…!” Mammon crosses his arms and turns away like a grumpy child. “Hmph…”

“Do say hello to [Name] for me, will you?” Simeon requests as Solomon turns to open the door, ignoring the sulking demon sitting beside him. “We haven’t been able to talk for a while.”

“You text him every day, don’t you?” Solomon asks, shooting him an unimpressed look. “I’d say that’s conversation enough.”

“Now, now, there’s no need to be stingy,” Simeon countered with a smile, tilting his head slightly to the side and leaning forward. “Besides, one misses the presence of an actual person after a while of nothing but electronic communication... especially texting is so difficult. Tell him he’s always welcome to come around for some tea - Luke would be happy to see him.”

Solomon shakes his head, but makes a sound of affirmation nevertheless. You had mentioned that you’ve missed seeing Simeon since he’d started the whole negotiator businesss, and he isn’t the sort of person to deny you the company of a friend. “I’ll let him know. Anyway, I should really be going now…”

“Have a safe journey!” Simeon calls after him as he swings the door open and sweeps out. Solomon waves a hand over his shoulder in response, then disappears down the corridor, most likely to a quiet spot in the courtyard to use his charm. He’s been banned from using them indoors ever since he accidentally shattered one of the fancy artifacts in the assembly hall and sent hundreds of shards flying everywhere. Apparently Barbatos is still finding tiny pieces of glass in the crevices of the floor.

“Why didn’t Solomon ever say anythin’?” Mammon asks Simeon after a moment of quietude. “Seems like the sorta thing you’d mention.”

“Solomon’s a private man,” Simeon says with a shrug. “Besides, he and [Name] have made plenty of enemies over the years, and you’d be shocked by how quickly names and locations can spread…”

“Does he mind us knowin’ about it, then?”

“Well, personally, I’ve known for a while,” Simeon answers, “And I’m sure the others will have worked it out by now - Solomon’s always finding ways to mention [Name] in passing. But no, I’m sure he doesn’t mind. He’d say something if he did.”

Mammon nods and goes silent for a little while. Then he asks, “What’s this [Name] like, then? Must be some guy if Solomon liked him enough to put a ring on him and keep him for that long.”

“Well, let’s see…” Simeon drums his fingers thoughtfully against the tabletop. “He has quite the penchant for raising deadly plants, he hasn’t gone more than a full month without exploding something or another for about five centuries, he takes clocks apart in his spare time, he likes his coffee with a touch of vanilla, he collects cursed books, he makes a lovely butterscotch-cinnamon pie, and he works as a curse breaker for hire.”

It takes a moment for Mammon to process all of the information that’s just been dumped on him. “...sounds like the kinda guy Satan would get along with.”

“I thought so as well,” Simeon agrees. “Their house even reminds me of Satan’s room, in a way… [Name] is quite the avid reader.”

“What, you’ve been?”

“Only once,” Simeon’s eyes flutter closed for a moment as he reminisces. “Quite a long time ago now. I wouldn’t know where to find it even if I wanted to go again, though - it’s always moving.”

“Do they move house a lot, then?”

Simeon shakes his head. “Oh, no, no. They’ve lived in the same house for centuries - it’s the house that moves itself.”

Mammon pauses. “...what?”

“The building,” Simeon clarifies. “They’ve got an enchantment on the whole thing that makes it change locations every couple of weeks or so.”

“But… why?”

Simeon shrugs. “[Name] doesn’t like staying in one place for too long.”

“Still, isn’t that a bit much…?” Mammon pulls a face. “They could always just travel, ya know…”

“As Solomon said, transportation talismans make [Name] feel queasy,” Simeon explains. “And he prefers not to use teleportation spells when it comes to him, just in case they end up somewhere dangerous.”

“And he doesn’t care about the rest of us ending up somewhere dangerous?” Mammon huffs and collapses forwards onto the table.

“Well, you can’t really compare the two,” Simeon says patiently as the demon continues to mutter indignantly under his breath. “He’s his husband, and we’re essentially just his friends from work.”

Mammon opens his mouth to make a rebuttal, then thinks about it for a moment and changes his mind. After a moment, he comments, a little less resentfully, “Well, you’d think he’d at least introduce us.”

“He’s been planning to for a while, actually,” Simeon tells him. “Give him some time and he’ll probably bring it up on his own.”

Mammon nods. “He’d better!”

“I’m home.”

You look up from the book you’re reading and hop down from your seat on the roof just in time to see Solomon emerge from the back garden, looking noticeably dishevelled, with leaves decorating his head like some sort of fancy accessory.

“Welcome back!” You greet him happily, setting the book aside and moving forward to start picking the leaves from his hair. Solomon smiles softly at you as you take his bag in one hand and start pulling him to the front door with the other. “You forgot your talisman again, by the way.”

“I noticed,” He laughs, gently removing your hand from his upper arm and wrapping his fingers around it instead. “Why else do you think I ended up in the hedges again?”

“It’s a wonder that you’ve had to make these temporary talismans so many times and you still haven’t gotten one right yet,” You tease in reply, nudging him in the shoulder. “How many points is that on the tally now, then?”

“Ten for the basement, seven for the roof, and eleven for the hedges now,” He answers with a small pout as you laugh. “Honestly, you’d think I would have learnt my lesson...”

“You never do, love.” 

The door creaks as you and your husband enter the house, only to immediately be greeted by a bundle of scales hitting you head-on. You manage to keep your footing and steady yourself on the doorway; Solomon isn’t so lucky, and ends up laying spread-eagled on the floor with about two hundred kilograms of excited adolescent dragon purring on his chest.

“Looks like Triton missed you,” You comment with a bright smile, setting Solomon’s bag down beside the umbrella rack and leaning over to give the dragon a scratch behind his left horn, just the way he likes it. He rumbles happily and jingles the little bell around his neck at you. “Isn’t he getting big?”

“I saw him this morning, [Name],” Solomon wheezes from his position on the floor, somehow managing to reach up and tickle Triton’s chin with one hand despite the dragon’s weight. “He can’t have grown that much in ten hours.”

“You never know!” You tell him, reaching up and wrapping your arms around Triton’s neck. He coos in a delighted fashion and raises his head, setting it heavily on your shoulder. Solomon uses the brief lightening of the weight on him to take in a deep breath as you allow your dragon to nuzzle furiously into your neck. “Dragons are unpredictable, you know.”

“Believe me, I do,” He sighs tiredly as Triton blows out a pleased puff of hot air and knocks the clock off the wall again. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, Triton, I’d quite like to get back up again.”

The dragon blinks and raises his head from your shoulder, glancing down at the sorcerer that he’s crushing under his weight. Then he huffs and turns away again.

“Oh, you—!” Solomon curses as the dragon seems to press even harder into him. Your laughter rings out across the hall, and while he’d normally take a moment to admire the sound, he’s a little preoccupied. “[Name], stop laughing and help me!”

“He’s like a rebellious teenager!” You splutter helplessly in reply, voice still trembling slightly out of mirth. Triton makes a happy noise as you reach up and rub his scaly cheeks, his ears fluttering slightly. “Awww, you’re really growing up, aren’t you, baby? Your poor dads are really going to have their work cut out for them, huh?”

“Hey,” Solomon calls reproachfully from beneath Triton’s enormous chest. “Your husband’s still being crushed down here.”

“Oh, right!” You click your tongue and give Triton a meaningful look. He grumbles but obeys nevertheless, hopping off of Solomon (though not without knocking all the air out of him by using his chest as a launchpad) and scampering off, most likely to go play with the salamanders that have set up shop in the storage room again.

“I’ll never understand how you manage him so well,” Solomon sighs as you bend down to pull him to his feet, rubbing at the sore spot on his chest. “He never listens to me.”

“Aw, he loves you, really,” You reassure him, taking his hand and pressing a comforting kiss to his knuckles. “He just likes roughhousing with you.”

Solomon shakes his head, wanting to complain further about the big lizard that the two of you had adopted six months ago after the last one grew up and flew the nest, but then he sees the smile on your face, and he feels the flicker of irritation in his chest die down almost immediately. It’s at times like this that he’s really reminded of how absolutely worth it all of the nonsense he has to put up with at work is - because, at the end of the day, you are here, with your warm eyes and your lovely smile, with your comforting hands and your warm embrace, and there is no road too long to walk if you are waiting for him at the end of it.

“I know,” He sighs, tugging off his shoes and stepping into his favourite pair of slippers - the ones with the little cat faces printed on them that you’ve charmed to always maintain a perfect temperature for his feet. He glances at your own feet and notes that you’re wearing your matching pair as well.

The two of you have long since set up a routine for this sort of occasion, and you both fall into it with unconscious ease. Solomon changes into something more comfortable while you put the kettle on in the kitchen, and the two of you inevitably spend so long snuggled up together on the largest armchair in the living room, unwilling to leave the warmth of each other’s presence, that the water cools down, and you end up having to put it back on again. Then you sit together at the table, you with a coffee with a dash of vanilla and him with his favourite chrysanthemum tea that you always brew just the way he likes it. Sometimes you’ll sit side by side, shoulders pressed up against each other as you show him the specifics of your latest curse-breaking commission, and sometimes you’ll sit across from each other, holding hands across the tabletop as he tells you about his day.

Today it is the former, but Solomon can’t help but zone a little out of the detailed deep-dive you’re giving him about the intricacies of the spell that’s cursed this teapot to shoot its contents at anyone who attempts to fill it. It isn’t that your explanation is boring - quite the contrary, in fact; Solomon could probably listen to you describing the most mundane or trivial of things on loop for the rest of his life and be perfectly content with it. No, it’s more to do with the fact that this is the first time he’s been home before dark in a long while, and he can’t help but revel in the fact that he can spend time with you like this again. Of course, there’s something wonderful in coming home to be able to collapse into bed beside you and bury his face in the crook of your neck, drifting to sleep as you burrow closer to him even in your sleep, but Solomon can’t run off of that forever - he needs to see you with your eyes open as well, after all. 

“You’re not listening to a word I say, are you?” You ask as you note the far-off look on your husband’s face. You’re not offended in the slightest by the way he starts at the directed question, evidently guilty, but you are a little puzzled. “Is there something wrong?”

Solomon’s mouth falls open slightly, then shuts again. There’s something about the way you’re looking at him so earnestly that makes his heart stutter like nothing else. Honestly, you’d think he’d be used to this after nearly two thousand years, but it seems that he’s still as weak for you as he was on the very first day of your marriage. “...I suppose I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“You always have a lot on your mind,” You counter softly, giving his hand a brief squeeze. “Come on, you can tell me.”

He laughs quietly, bringing your linked hands up to his face and gently holding yours to the side of his face; you, in turn, unfurl your fingers from around his and rub his cheek affectionately. After a moment, a fond smile pulling at his lips, Solomon replies, “I’ve… missed you a lot this week.”

You pause in mild surprise, but it quickly turns to endearment as Solomon presses his body even closer to yours. The hand that you’re using to hold your mug of coffee moves to settle on his shoulder as you pull him closer. “Really now? What a coincidence. I’ve missed you lots as well, love.”

He chuckles a little bashfully, his cheeks flushing. It seems that your ability to fluster him hasn’t declined even a bit over the years. He’s still well and truly besotted.

You can’t help but find it rather amusing that, despite already having spent a good hour and a half or so in the living room, bundled so close together in the blankets that you could feel his breath on your skin, the two of you are still nestling so close together now. You suppose it’s the effects of a week with much less contact than usual.

You lean forward and press a kiss to his jaw before pulling back again, reaching for your coffee and taking a sip. Solomon exhales softly, pulling his own drink towards him and draining the last of the tea in a single mouthful.

“You know,” He says, setting his empty cup down on the table. “One of my coworkers was asking about you earlier.”

“‘Coworkers’,” You snort at his choice of language, earning a reproachful poke in the side as punishment. “Come on, just admit that they’re your friends.”

“Fine,” He sighs. “One of my friends, then - Mammon, the one that Lucifer’s stringing up all the time.”

“The one with white hair?” You recall, thinking back to the group photo that Simeon had sent you a while back. “He’s the Avatar of Greed, right?”

“That’s the one,” Solomon nods. “Apparently he never noticed that I was married.”

“Well, you can’t really blame him,” You say, giving him a playful nudge. “Honestly, the way you keep your mouth shut, you’d think I was some shameful secret or something.”

Solomon looks scandalised by the very idea - it had only been a little joke, but his eyes flash with such affront that it’s almost as if someone has genuinely called you such a thing. “Of course not! I’d never—”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I was joking,” You cut him off before he can get more riled up. Solomon calms down quickly once you set a comforting hand on his knee, though he still looks a little indignant. “I know why you don’t like talking about us much, but really, it’s okay. They’re your friends, aren't they?”

He hesitates, then nods, releasing another deep sigh soon afterwards. “I suppose. There isn’t much I can really do about it at this point anyway… according to Simeon, most of them have somehow figured it out already.”

“They’re probably a lot smarter than you give them credit for, Sol,” You hum, reaching up and brushing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes for him. “They’re demons, after all. They’ve lived even longer than us.”

“Believe me, they really aren’t.” Solomon shakes his head, a frown pinching at his brow at the very memory of the amount of things that his coworkers have done recently - some of the most notable being Diavolo setting an entire flock of geese free in the courtyard for an ‘experiment’, Levi quite literally throwing himself out of a window just to win a bet against Mammon about who could get down the stairs faster, Asmo causing a stampede in the main hall by dropping and shattering a bottle full of a powerful aphrodisiac potion that became even more powerful once released into the air, and Lucifer accidentally breaking one of Solomon’s favourite cauldrons when he’d transformed into his demon form and inadvertently smacked halfway across the room it with one of his upper wings.

“I’d really love to meet them some day,” You sigh, swirling the contents of your mug around. “They sound like fun.”

“Trust me, the trouble isn’t worth it—” Solomon attempts to reason with you, but he gives up laughably quickly as you pout at him in protest. “Oh, fine. But don’t blame me if you get sick because of the charm again.”

“We don’t have to use the charm,” You shake your head. “Just do a teleportation spell!”

“You know that that’s risky,” Solomon sighs, chucking you under the chin and leaning forward to kiss the tip of your nose. You laugh as he draws back again, a pleased smile rising on his face at your reaction. “We could end up anywhere.”

“You’ve teleported them a bunch of times, though, haven’t you? And you haven’t ended up in Texas or the Sahara Desert any of those times!”

The resemblance to his earlier conversation with Mammon and Simeon is almost uncanny. “That’s different. I was still teleporting them within the Devildom, not across an entire realm barrier… and besides, I can afford the risk with them. You’re a different story.”

You pout again, shoulders dropping in defeat, though it doesn’t escape Solomon’s notice that his sentiment seems to have appeased you at least a little. “...guess we’ll just have to use a transportation talisman, huh…?”

“That’s your only option if you really want to visit, yes.”

You go quiet for a moment or two, nose wrinkling and face scrunching as you think it over. Solomon doesn’t mind the lack of conversation - he entertains himself by studying your features, wondering for perhaps the millionth time how he managed to find someone like you.

Finally, a determined look rising on your face, you nod and proclaim, “Then I’ll do it!”

Solomon cocks his head slightly to the side. He can’t say he’s surprised by your eagerness, but he had expected it to take you longer to make up your mind. He opens his mouth to say something, but tou answer his question before he’s even asked it, a skill that you’d managed to pick up within the first year or so of knowing him.

“I really wanna see what you actually get up to when you work,” You explain, looking a little sheepish. “You’ve had a job there for nearly two years and I’ve never even said a word to the people you work with.”

Solomon laughs. “It isn’t usually a requirement in the workplace. Wear appropriate uniform, bring any equipment you need, introduce your husband to your coworkers within the decade…”

“Still, I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least meet them,” You say. “Besides, I want to see Simeon as well. You said he’s working down in the Devildom for a bit as well, didn’t you?”

“Why are you so eager to see him, huh?” Solomon’s tone is light and teasing, so you know not to take him seriously as he puts on an hurt expression. “I’m offended. Your dear husband’s right here and you’re thinking about some angel.”

“Oh, stop it, you,” You shake your head in slightly exasperated amusement as he runs a finger down his cheek in lieu of a tear. “You know it’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” He pulls an exaggeratedly petulant face and pretends to turn away like an upset child. “Sometimes I feel like you love him more than me.”

“Simeon’s a lovely guy, but you’re still the only guy for me, you doof,” You tell him, tapping fondly at the cheek he’s turned to you with your free hand. Solomon obligingly turns back around to look at you, a grin pulling at his mouth. “Why would I marry you and then stay here for two thousand years if you weren't?”

“I guess I always assumed it was out of pity or something,” He jokes in response, leaning forward and briefly brushing his nose against yours. “And, just so you know, you’re the only guy for me as well.”

“I’d better be,” is your lighthearted reply as he pulls away. After a moment, looking at him expectantly, you begin tentatively, “So…?”

He sighs, but gives you a smile nevertheless. “I’ll ask Diavolo. He probably wouldn’t mind if I brought you without asking first, but Lucifer definitely would.”

“What’ll we do if they hate me?” You ask. “Do demons actually eat humans?”

“They wouldn’t dare,” He replies firmly. “Not if I have anything to say about it. Besides, they won’t hate you. I doubt anyone could.”

You laugh and drop your head to rest on his chest. “You’re too nice to me, love.”

Solomon turns to wrap both his arms around your shoulders, setting his chin on the crown of your head. You smile into his jumper, looping your own arms around his waist and pushing yourself closer to him.

“I’m not just being nice. Honestly, [Name], you’re kind of the most perfect man in the universe.”

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Mystery Writer (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: Spencer finds books at a second hand bookstore that are annotated and he falls the person writing the notes. 

AN: This was part of a fic swap on @imagining-in-the-margins​ server! This is for the marvellous @definitelynotkatesblog​ <3 I really hope you like it! I had to delete the original post because it didn't show up in the tags. This will be staying up regardless of that now.

Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this?

“If you need anything, just let me know!”

Spencer pressed his lips together at the person behind the till before heading deeper into the rows of second-hand books. Familiar titles, old and new, printed on spines in various states of pristine/decay, they tempted him to select and bring them home with him. The clear sections between biographies and fiction guided him deeper into the forest, deeper into finding his way out. He was hoping to adopt one such book for a day off, when he could revisit it with a fresh eye. It would be like seeing an old friend again, remembering why they were friends in the first place with a hint of that initial read through from years ago, and perhaps he would learn something new in the process.

A dull ache in his chest at the sight of The Sign of Four by Arthur Conan Doyle. But he had long since recovered from that heartbreak and he would be able to read this story without feeling that again.

Still. It had been several years since he read this book.

His nervous fingers plucked it off the shelf and the pages fell open for him. A flattened gum wrapper parted the pages like the Red Sea. Spencer lifted it out tentatively. Its creases were ironed in from its role as a temporary bookmark, an impression of scribbled black ink flattened after it was made.

Spencer’s eyes scanned over the page in search of what this gum wrapper might have been guarding.

“Women are never to be entirely trusted – not the best of them.”

In the margins was scribbled:

Product of the time, but still a prick, rude smartarse role a bit dull

Spencer found himself exhaling in light laughter. That a lack of empathy was considered “dull” by this person, when it was something he dealt with in his job almost every day. The confidence in this commentary too, this brazen critique of a much beloved fictional character was left for someone else to find.

His gaze found Watson’s opinion of Holmes’ casual sexism: “atrocious sentiment”. It was circled twice in the same black biro.

Spencer dug his thumb against the text block and flicked through the book. A waft of that book smell lifted from the paper, accompanied by the bold notes of the previous owner dotted across the text until he finally landed on the reverse of the front cover. Two letters – initials - were scratched onto it.

It was with bridled exhilaration that Spencer approached the till and held up the book with a half-smile. His hands were quick to place it down on the counter so that the shop assistant could type the price into the till. His mood was apparently palpable because they seemed just as happy as Spencer to hand him back the novel in a brown paper bag – the receipt tucked inside.

 --->--->--->--->--->

 “Love is an emotional thing, and whatever emotional is opposed to what is true, cold reason, which I place above all things. I should never marry myself, lest I bias my judgement.”  

What a lonely existence and also a lie. See: entire relationship w/ Dr. Watson!

Spencer smiled at this comment. Now all the other instances of a double underlining made sense. Each one produced itself in his mind as evidence that Mr Sherlock Holmes did in fact love. Maybe not marry, but it would have been terribly unconventional for him to wed Doctor John Watson. The unknown author seemed to understand this. They never emphasised if this love was platonic or romantic. But the way in which they proved love existed within this character oft portrayed as emotionless, Spencer simply adored. They were a romantic reader, who still enjoyed reading about the cynic

He grew quite aware of his posture in that moment and he straightened his back. A few clicks of complaint emitted as he stretched, his head twisting from side to side. Screwing his eyes open and shut behind his glasses, he revisited your deduction.

On the dot of the “i” in “lie”, there was a sprinkle of graphite around the indent from where a pencil’s lead had snapped from the effort put into topping off this point. A sprinkle of graphite smudged where the pages pressed together.

Spencer moved on to where a sentence in black biro tried to blend in with the printed words. A memory appeared at the front of his mind: when Rossi was bewildered to learn Spencer and Dr. Alex Blake wrote the newspaper crossword in pen.

The pencil markings were like mini brainstorms, something to revisit and make a solid theory with the black biro. But the planning was never rubbed out.

Little quotes were circled. This mystery critic spent half the book roasting the characters and the other half leaving little exclamation marks and circles around phrases and words when they couldn’t think of something to say. Spencer found it sweet, picturing the thrilling unfolding of events for the reader to revisit.

His heart ached in bittersweet memory as he recalled the contents of Dr Alex Blake’s book The Route of Linguistics. It was necessary pain to create a profile of who this mystery critic was. Yes, he was profiling out of work hours. His evenings were now spent trying to picture the voice behind the notes. The sarcasm, the witty blows to the character’s and author’s ego. He almost wished that he couldn’t read so fast because he finished the book, even with its additional notations, all too quickly. But there was one bonus.

Spencer traced the pad of his fingertip over the exclamation marks describing Mary Morstan. What else might a detractor of the great Sherlock Holmes read?

--->--->--->--->---> 

He had returned to the bookshop in favour of adopting another. Yet he could not find one that satisfied his unknown criteria. It was not until he found himself checking the front pages of the fifth book he had selected, that he realised he was looking for a pair of initials.

Sighing, he placed My Dear Bessie, with its empty front page, back on the shelf. The chances of finding another book containing this mystery critic were so minute. He could probably calculate them if he wanted to dedicate himself to such a disheartening statistic. He’d rather not spend his lunch break doing that, as much as he loved statistics. This once, they did not assure his safety and he remained unsupported by the fact that he could not find any other Arthur Conan Doyle books.

His desperation became most apparent when he thought that perhaps fate should just decide for him. If anything, he would come away with a random book to read through in about ten minutes on a flight back home.

He peeked around the corner of the shelves. The shop assistant at the till was busy writing something down, not paying any mind to the shop’s only customer.

“A random shot had no better odds than just picking books off one by one” is what he told himself as he closed his eyes and placed his fingers on the end of the shelf, just over the first book’s spine. In an “S” pattern, his arm moved up and down, over the books and shelves and gaps between units. His feet stepped forwards into the space he knew was clear.

Spencer stopped and opened his eyes, his finger shifting just an inch out of the way of his new book’s title.

Circe. Madeline Miller.

He tapped the top and the book fell forwards, where he caught it. Its shining dust jacket was serving its purpose, a few tears along the edges from where it had protected the hardcover. He checked the front page. A map of Aiaia in orange and brown filled it to the corners. On the next page, his heart stuttered at the sight of two initials in the same handwriting and the same biro. There was also a scribble - invisible to start with then a ball of black.

The first page with the story’s text held a scribble just above its opening line:

the power of the name

“When I was born, the name for what I was did not exist.”

He could see that the first was in a blunt pencil, but the addition was a sharpened point carving into the paper. A secondary thought that was provided after completing the novel, they had added it. Spencer lifted it to his face, his eyes crossing to keep the stipple in focus. The scent of the paper and the graphite reached him easily; the note must have been made just before Circe was gifted to him. How lucky he was to find such a treasure.

The shop assistant was cutting out a new sign for “BUY ONE GET ONE HALF PRICE!”. By the time Spencer made it to them, the sign was placed upon the pile besides him. The shop assistant smoothed out a crease on the dust jacket, ineffectively but Spencer admitted the gesture. He was glad that someone who loved books as much as him got to work in a place like this.

--->--->--->--->--->

Spencer’s mind, definitely for worse, echoed the words off the tabloids around his head the split second he made eye contact with the headlines. He paced the shelves to somewhere a little quieter. When he found the chocolate aisle, he pretended to peruse. Ever half a minute or so, his gaze drifted up to the till area where the shop owner was on a phone call and clearly not paying attention to him.

It was not long before Spencer grew bored of looking at KitKats, and he pulled out One Thousand And One Nights. The book’s pages fell again to page 57. This shop’s receipt stood above them, still holding its place from the previous owner. It felt wrong to part the two.

No new people had entered this corner shop for 8 minutes. He’d even given the time at the receipt’s end a fifteen-minute margin either side. Given that this mystery critic took a break from work at the same time on the same day of the week – and that they worked during the day – he should have seen them. Maybe he had, and they were that man in the baggy hoodie who stunk of weed. Probably not. Hopefully not. Not that Spencer was judging him for his… recreational activities. He just wanted the mystery critic to be someone he could realistically spend time with.

Just then, Spencer’s phone trilled annoyingly loud. He received a glare from the shop manager and Spencer sent an awkward apologetic expression his way before answering JJ quickly.

“Spencer, we’ve got a case. We need you here ASAP.”

His response was immediate. “Ok, be there in ten.” Hanging up, Spencer dithered on the spot then grabbed a packet of Cheetos. He’d been there for nearly twenty minutes; he had to get something.

“Three dollars,” the manager said before returning to his call. But not before he rolled his eyes at Spencer. Spencer dropped the bills onto the counter and dashed out before he could be offered a receipt.

--->--->--->--->---> 

  An outlier in the usual length of case work had passed by in five long days. Spencer hardly ever regretted the time he put into this job. Every unsub caught was lives saved. But the absence of his mystery commentator had been niggling at the back of his busy mind and he was glad to finally reunite with them on this long flight back.

From his satchel, he recovered the copy of One Thousand And One Nights and began rereading the notes to ground himself in the story. His focus lingered on the page as if he were reading it at the average 250 words per minute. It allowed him to block out the humming of the engine.

Spencer did not take his eyes off the page as he pulled open his desk drawer and popped a piece of overpriced gum into his mouth. Half-hearted reminders bounced in his head, from when he tried smoking and chewing gum to ease his cravings. The fruit flavour was very clearly artificial and it faded within six minutes. Why his mystery critic would pick such a pathetic packet of gum to chew, he didn’t know. But hopefully the fact of its flavour disappearing fast would mean they get through the packet quicker and buy another soon. Even if today, and the days before, spent in that shop did not lean in favour of that hypothesis.

--->--->--->--->--->

The Five People You Meet In Heaven was in the Recently Donated pile. It was near the top, slid towards the edge of the container after being placed wonkily on a copy of some sports autobiography.

Within the pages was more than Spencer could have ever hoped for. Entire paragraphs were circled, quotes underlined. A squashed mini post-it note tabbed the page and a whole paragraph was scrawled on it, about Tala. An arrow pointing to the underside, Spencer lifted the flap and saw more to read, like an interactive pop-up book that he’d gotten Henry for his second birthday. Spencer closed his eyes quick and snapped the book shut. He wanted to save it for when he was sitting comfortably, not while he was rushing back to work in time for JJ to get to her lunch break on time.

The shop assistant had just clipped the lid back onto a green highlighter when Spencer drew up to their counter. With careful fingers, he placed the book upon it. There was a twitch of the assistant’s mouth; their eyes brightened. They looked like they wanted to say something, but something else held them back from making the first move. Spencer recognised it from his school days.

“It’s a good read.” He spoke after they had typed the price into the till.

“I know,” The assistant replied instantly, a relieved smile on their lips, “What part are you on?”

“I’ve already read it, but I wanted to revisit the passage at the diner.”

“Ahh, that’s a good bit. One of my favourites.”

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed a fraction of an inch. His gaze dropped to the nametag on the left side of their chest. Y/N, their name’s first initial. It couldn’t be.

“What did you think about the final person, Tala?”

“Oh,” The shop assistant clutched at their heart, “I was an emotional wreck before and it hit me hard just as the rest did. So bittersweet to hear her forgiveness. It took me a few times to finish reading the end, but it was all worth it.”

He couldn’t be this lucky, to get this many books from the same person and to have them standing in front of him. Spencer didn’t believe in luck.

As he reached across for his new book, he turned over the cover, “Was this yours?”

Twisting their head around to read the publication details, the assistant – Y/N - smiled sheepishly at the initials. “Yes, and I’m glad to see it go to a new home.”

Apparently luck believed in him.

“But,” Spencer felt his brows knit automatically as he looked between the book and their previous owner, “You love it. I-I’ve seen your notes.”

A hand clapped over Y/N’s mouth, “Oh God, you must have. I mean, it wasn’t the intention initially, but I thought they might be a little entertaining for anyone who picks it up to leave them in there.”

“Oh, they were! I’d love to read more of your thoughts. Hear, hear them, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Y/N checked the door to the shop, still shut, and back to Spencer. They dropped their elbows onto the countertop with their chin in their palms. “What did you wanna know?”

From his bag, Spencer procured his – their – copy of The Sign of Four and flicked through the pages. So many places to choose, but he wanted to open with what had introduced him to Y/N’s analysis.

The pair put their heads together, leaning on the counter. Spencer could smell the chewing gum on their breath. Y/N never cut him off, and he never wanted to cut them off. There were little pauses at the end of each of their turns to speak before the other picked up where they had left off. Their voices leapt from secretive whispers to passionate orations of their favourite passages, rebounding evidence and analysis off each other like a bouncy ball. Spencer finally had a voice to put to the sarcasm, the one his mind had conjured long forgotten in the wake of Y/N’s enthusiasm.

The shop’s door swung open. Spencer leapt to attention as an older woman swept in, past the two of them towards the non-fiction section. Y/N adjusted their name tag, their back straight too. The clock behind the till announced that it was now twenty minutes after the end of Spencer’s lunch break.

Running on the rush of his hobby meeting a potential friend, Spencer asked, “Can I get your number? So we can talk more, maybe swap some more books, when you’re not working?”

His luck was still by his side as Y/N wrote out their number on his receipt, written in their infamous black biro.

--->--->--->--->---> 

  Spencer leapt over to the door of his apartment, took a deep breath, and unlocked it. Stood behind where it had been was Y/N and they too were still wearing the uniform from work. Their nametag was still on their polo shirt, the same spot that Spencer wore his FBI tag.

“Can I get you a drink?” He asked the second they made a step inside his abode.

“Tea would be great. Milk and one sugar please.”

And while he was in the kitchen, Y/N rushed over to the bookshelves, their eyes wide to take in Spencer’s collection. “Oh wow! You weren’t joking!” Their finger indicated to a hard cover copy of Mean Time by Carol Ann Duffy, “That’s one of mine. Well, yours now.”

Plucking it from the shelf, they opened it up. Spencer had written his initials beside theirs.

Spencer stuck his head out in the partition, “Ours. If we’re going to be sharing.” Y/N stood on tiptoes, teeming with delight, their hands cradling the book with all the care Spencer could hope for in a fellow reader. Joint custody of their books and their passion? What a dream.

“I just have to write a little more about the epilogue, and I’ll be with you,” Y/N took their place on his couch. A pencil began scribbling away their thoughts onto the last few pages. Their knees were their desk.

Spencer finished brewing and placed the mug in front of Y/N, who mumbled a quick thank you to him. He joined them in writing his final notes. It slowed him down a considerable amount, but he was glad to take things at a casual pace, especially considering the way that Y/N almost broke their pencil as they scrawled out their thoughts for Spencer to hear later.

“Have you thought about the next one you’d like to try?” Spencer asked tentatively. He wasn’t so sure if Y/N would want to be interrupted.

Luckily for him, Y/N paused their stream of consciousness to look back at his books, “Hmm. So much to choose from.”

Stood up, their book left in Spencer’s care. They took a deep breath, closed their eyes and used their forefinger to draw a zigzag over the spines. Spencer felt that he was almost sick with joy.

Y/N stilled their wandering hand and opened their eyes, already drawing out the selected novel, “This one.”

“And what have you chosen for me next time?”

Y/N handed over The Butterfly Lion from their bag, “Ok, I can’t wait any longer, what do you think?”

They sat back on the couch. Their legs now hung over the arm of the couch, elbows either side and face cupped in their palms. The book rested in their lap. Shifting so that he faced them completely, Spencer returned to the first page and his analysis began.

[pandaponderart]

Underrated Anime Part 1:

Hello my fellow Weebs, I’m back for some more Anime blogging, this time to talk about so not so well known ones. Some that have got forgotten with time, some that new Anime fans have maybe never heard of and the ones that I feel deserve more love and recognition. I’ve been watching Anime for about 13 years so I’ve seen a lot so this will be in at least 3 parts, so hopefully you like this and look forward to more. Til then enjoy, hope you can find some new anime you’ve never heard of thanks for reading and look forward to part 2!.

1. Azumanga Daioh(2002)

Starting off with an older Anime, and one of the best and earlier comedy, slice of life Anime that paved the way for a lot of other Anime in the same genre like Nichijou and Daily Lives of High School Boys. Off the wall and highly unrealistic, this comedy is completely over the top in the best way possible. it’s old but gold and should be crowned as one of the best comedy Anime to exist.

With the most lovable cast, you have Chiyo the 5th grader who is so crazy smart she gets placed in a high school class, then there’s Osaka, who’a real name is Ayumu Kasuga who’s named that because she‘s from Osaka. Osaka isn’t the smartest and neither is her other classmate Tomo Takino who will do anything to avoid studying. Then to balance out the cast is Koyomi Mizuhara aka Yomi, the smart one who keeps everyone in line and Kagura the sporty one. Then of course can’t forget to mention the teachers Yukari Sensei who is anything but the normal responsible teacher and to balance her out Minamo Sensei the responsible one. There’s no real plot with Azumanga Daioh but there’s not meant to be it’s just an over the top comedy slice of life, with moments that will make you laugh from your gut. It’s all about the characters and the ridiculous situations their put in and each one is a lovable idiot that really drives the show. Give this one a shot if you want a show that will put a big smile on your face the whole way through.

2. Eden of The East (2009)

Another older Anime, not everything on this list will be older Anime but there’s so many good ones like this!. Eden of The East is an action, mystery with elements of romance with one of the most unique stories I’ve seen in Anime. It’s a short watch being only eleven episodes with two movies following after which I recommend watching because they continue the story. I’m really surprised not more people know or talk about this show but it need to be talked about more!.

With one of the funniest and most bizarre starts to an Anime, our lead charcter Saki is on a trip to Washington D.C, when she gets in trouble for throwing a coin in the White House’s fountain she’s saved by a naked man who claims to be a terrorist. Not only is this mysterious man naked and claims to be a terrorist, he also has amnesia and is carrying a phone with 8.2 million dollars. Saki befriends this strange man and throughout the story they try to uncover more of his past, his involvment in an incident called careless monday and a dangerous death game with other players. They must also spend all of the money as instucted by the mysterious voice in the phone Juiz as well as try to save the world.

3. R.O.D The TV( 2003)

Ok I know I said this list wouldn’t only be older Anime but I guess the older Anime just has my heart and this one has a special place in mine. One of my all time favorites and one of the earliest Anime I saw and it still holds up to me til this day. It is hands down probably the most underrated show on this entire list and if you only watch one of these Anime please make it this one. The story is completely original, the characters are complex and endearing, there’s action, heartwarming moments, comedy and mystery, I wish there was more Anime like it, it deserves to be a classic.

It‘s a one of a kind show about the paper sisters Michelle, the oldest bubbly bookworm, Maggie the seemingly intimidating quiet giant. Then you have the youngest sister Anita who unlike her sisters hates books, she’s a bit rough around the edges but loves her sisters. Although they aren’t actually sisters they have a detective agency to help find lost books to help pay for rent while also doing odd jobs like being body guards. Their first assignment is to protect the author, Nenene Sumiragawa who is being threatened to be killed at her book signing. The paper sisters aren’t called that just because of their love of books, they can turn paper into weapons and whatever else they please, but each having their speciality. Nenene finds out they‘re paper sisters just like her friend who ‘s missing, Yomiko Readman and asks them for help finding her. They try to help Nenene find her friend, while solving other cases and saving the world with the power of paper.

4. Baccano(2007)

Probably the most well known but also I think one of the most under appreciated Anime, from Durarara’s creator, Baccano. I feel like most newer Anime fans won’t know this one and although it’s a beloved series by many, I still feel it’s underrated. Also another bias opinion shocker, it’s one of my absolute favorites but that’s why it’s here. It’s once again a shorter anime with only 13 episodes but it somehow manages to combine all of the storylines cohesively, it’s a wild ride full of mystery, murder, and magic that will keep you on board the entire time trying to piece everything together. Also warning it jumps around a lot so make sure to pay attention everything pieces together!.

Based in the 1930’s in the prohibition era you have several stories involving different characters going on but they‘re all connected to one thing the transcontinental train, the flying pussyfoot. Yes that’s actually the name of the train, why, still no idea but all these characters from different walks of life end up here somehow. Now to introduce some of these crazy characters, first off the goofy thieves in love Isaac and Miria, who aren’t the brightest but can steal just about anything. Lad Russo the sadistic hit man who loves to see people die, including fantasizing about killing his fiancé one day. Then you have the ones involved in gangs, all In different ones, but nonetheless involved in some sort of crime. First there’s Firo, the youngest of the Martello family and one of the immortals in the show, then there’s Jacuzzi Splot and his partner Nice, Jacuzzi is a big wimp and crybaby but will protect his loved ones with all he’s got and Nice is a bomb expert and his childhood food. Those are some of the main characters it’s such a large cast it’s hard to name and explain them all. This one is a must watch especially if you liked Durarara, jump on the hype train of this wild show.

5. Black Cat (2005)

Now quick disclaimer before I begin talking about this one, I haven’t watched this in years so it may not hold up as well as I’m remembering but when I watched it I really enjoyed it so that’s why it’s here. This was one of the earlier Anime I watched I’m pretty sure my friend showed me it but it caught my interest from the beginning. It’s not the most groundbreaking show to exist and I’ve heard that the manga is apparently better but that’s for almost every show. It’s got cool action, funny moments and a great cast of characters, plus not gonna lie I had a crush on train when I was younger. its just a fun show and definitely worth giving a watch!

Train Heartnett is an infamous cold blooded assassin who works for the organization Chronos, and because of his lack of empathy for killing he’s named Black Cat. But after a chance encounter with a bou hunter named Saya Minatsuki, they become friends and Train decided he wants to leave Chronos to pursue an honest living as a bounty Hunter. However chronos and particular his fellow member Creed Diskenth are not pleased with this and try to get Train to rejoin Chronos. Along the way Train teams up with fellow bounty hunter on the brink of broke Sven, the bio mech weapon and little girl Eve and master thief and seductress Rinslet Walker. Together they try to escape from Chronos and get enough money for their next .

6. Arakawa Under The Bridge(2010)

Where do I begin with this one first off, this is one of the weirdest Anime I’ve ever seen but just like Azumanga Daioh that’s what make it so good. Beautifully animated by Studio Shaft with some of the most colorful and visually appealing animation I’ve seen, it’s pure eye candy. it’s equally as strange as it is hilarious and it’s just a fun time that’s not meant to be taken seriously. So if you want a good laugh and something thats truly one of a kind in story and characters give this crazy show a shot.

The show begins with one of our main characters Kou Ichinomiya getting stuck by his underwear on a bridge by some kids, he falls into the river and is saved by a mysterious girl. Kou is the son of a wealthy businessman and his life motto is to not be indebted to anyone, so when he’s saved by this girl he asks what he can do. He finds out that her name is Nino and what she wants is to fall in love, so she asks Kou to be her boyfriend. At first Nino seems like a regular girl but she claims to be an alien from Venus and lives in a box under the bridge, not wanting to be in debt Kou agrees and begins living under the bridge with Nino. However Nino isn’t the only one who lives under the bridge there are many other strange characters like hoshi, the aspiring musician who wears a star on his head, and the captain who’s a human in a kappa suit. I highly suggest watching this strange sci-fi romantic comedy for something different and fun to watch.

7. 91 Days (2016)

The newest Anime on this list so far, see I told you it wouldn’t be only old ones!, this is also the darkest Anime on this list so far. This has been highly overlooked since it’s release in 2016, it reminds me of baccano and in parts like death note. If you like mafia movies or just a dark gritty story with some light hearted moments, it s short show but nothing is rushed and it’s solid from front to back and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Just like Baccano, 91 Days takes place in the prohibition era in a town called Lawless where crime is rampant and illegal alcohol sales are thriving. In this town our protagonist Aviicio‘s family is killed by one of the mafia families, The Vanetti Family. He receives a mysterious anonymous letter telling him to return to lawless to infiltrate The Vanetti Family. He tries to befriend the families son Nero, to find an opportunity for revenge, the story keep you constantly guessing if they’ve truly become friends or if he’ll kill him. Please watch this wonderful mafia crime drama of friend vs foe.

8. Yamada Kun and The Seven Witches (2015)

This is one of the ones that I still really want to read the manga for because I just couldn’t get enough of it! i’m still hoping for a sequel one day! The premise of body swapping has been done many times in Anime and cinema as a whole but this one adds a unique enough of a twist to keep it fresh and interesting. I looked forward to watching this weekly each week meeting a learning about each new witch and learning what power they had.

Ryuu Yamada is a high school delinquent who wants a fresh start at a new school, despite the intention to start with a clean slate he soon falls into old habits of laziness and getting into fights. One day he trips on the stairs which leads to an accidental kiss with fellow student Urarara Shiraishi which causes them to switch bodies. Another student Toranosuke Miyamura learns that they can switch bodies and recruits them to his Supernatural Studies club. There they learn about the other seven witches that all have different powers

9. Arslan Senki (2015-2016)

The second to last of the list comes from the creator of my all time favorite Anime Fullmetal Alchemist, while it’s a very different series and not quite as good as FMA it’s still deserves a spot on this list and deserves your time. It’s hard not to compare it to FMA but it really is it’s own thing, and it actually came out before Fullmetal, it’s a historical drama about war and strategy and a character growing into his potential. Just as Hiromu Arakawa is known for there’s still some comedic moments and some great character development and a well done story, Plus if you like this there’s two seasons so there more to enjoy.

Ok I promise from this point forward I won‘t say anything more about Fullmetal Alchemist this is about Arslan Senki, here’s the story. In the year 320 the Kingdom of Pars is at war with the neighboring kingdom Lusitania. Pars is ruled by the ruthless king Andrangoras III who has a son who’s the complete opposite of him Arslan. Although he doesn’t know how to fight Arslan tries to prove his worth by joining the battle, but things take a turn for the worst when one of the kings officials betrays him. The once prosperous Kingdom of Pars is seized, and since Arslan is the kings son he must flee to avoid capture. So he sets off with his loyal bodyguard Daryun to find allies to help take back the kingdom. Knowing that Arslan is still alive he is still faced with pursuers from other kingdoms and the head of the Lusitania army, a mysterious man with a silver mask who knows a secret that could jeopardize Arslan‘s succession to the throne. Arslan is a gentle, kind person that doesn’t enjoy fighting, he must learn to fight and protect himself and gain the courage to lead an army to regain his home.

10. Shingeki No Bahamut: Genesis (Rage of Bahamut) (2014)

Leaving one of the best for last, not to be confused with the popular series with a similar name Shingeki no Kyojin(Attack on Titan) this show is just as good. One of the first shows from one of my favorite Anime studios, Studio Mappa. I had low expectations when I heard this was a card game adaptation from a new anime studio but I decided to check it out despite that and it was the best decision. This has all the elements of a great anime, the beautiful animation, the unique characters and the compelling story and all the cool action scenes are just a plus. There is a second season too but I’ll leave that for another time, ok time to stop gushing about this wonderful show, time for the story!.

Years and years ago the ancient powerful dragon Bahamut reeked havoc on Mistarcia, a land where gods and demons lived harmoniously with humans. The gods and demons manage to seal away Bahamut with the god key and agree to split it to keep him sealed. Now that the the peace has been restored we meet the main characters and one of my favorites the orange Afro haired bounty hunters Favaro Leone. Favaro is constantly on the run from his adversary and fellow bounty hunter Kaiser Lidfard who‘s main purpose in life is to get revenge on him. One day both of their lives are thrown into chaos when they meet the mysterious girl Amira who holds half of the god key sealing Bahamut and wants help reaching the land of Helheim. I also can’t forget to mention my other favorite character and the fourth member of this unlikely crew Rita the zombie necromancer little girl she is just the definition of cool. Then there’s the characters that want to steal the god key the demon Azazel and the knight Jean D’Arc who are constantly in the characters way but you’ll find out more about them in the show. These unlikely heroes must face the threat of the battle of gods and demons, the pursuers of the god key and incoming threat of Bahamut awakening.