#still surprised how mother didnt really take me that long

[sleep-nurse]

might aswell finally post it here too (hardest rwsc i did so i put extra effort in it)

[henrychengtual]

.

[b-lossm]

•*+Jonny+*•

Cait x reader [Anget->fluff]

Synopsis: She always said you where above the girls she snuck into her room, then why wont she put a label on the two of you?

ooc Cait i think but like I didnt know how to finish this

"God I'm loosing my mind" you mumble to yourself as you prime a canvas, for a date night that might not even happen. 'what's the point' you think while putting your stuff away, you planned a nice date night for you and Cait, but now your just questioning if she even loves you like you assume she does, I mean- actions do speak louder then words.. right?

When Caitlyn eventually arrives, coming in through your window because due to her status, nobody really knows about your 'relationship'- well your dog knows but he doesnt count.

"Hey Princess" she hugs and kisses you softly, hiding something behind her back "Hey Cait.." you say awkwardly, mind still dwelling on how she might not love you "Oh Princess? what's wrong?" she places your surprise down on your bed and hugs you comfortingly. Your lip starts to quiver "I-- I feel like m' crazy because" you hesitate, she rubs your back and traces shapes into your side "hey you can tell me anything you know me.." Cait leads you to her bed and continues to comfort you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear "Caitlyn do you really love me?" you whisper, nervous--obviously her breath hitches “P—please let me figure it out” you tear up and she lays with you on your bed “Princess why would you ask me that? Of course I love you” you look away from her “Then why don't I feel it?” she struggles to answer you "y/n you know its hard for m--" "yeah well its hard for me too Cait! You have to tell her!" you argue before she can even start on her spiel again "Caitlyn she probably will disapprove but she'd put up with it! She literally has all this time! She's walked in on us cuddling so many times Cait! It is so painfully obvious that you like girls! or at least me.." you quiet down after a little bit, breathing heavily out of frustration and sadness.

Cait stays silent, she knows your right, she knows that her mother will.. reluctantly love her still, but she just doesn't understand why she cant just tell her mom outright, she always just thought that her parents would get the hint and not bother her about it but she was scared, she knew they didn't care as long as she carried out the Kiramman bloodline but she was scared that they would force her to leave you--force you out of her life. She sighs "I know I do okay? Just because I haven't doesn't mean I don't love you--" "you love me..?" she sees even more tears welling up in your eyes moving to wipe them before they can even fall "why would I not?" you feel gentle kisses being pressed all over your face, as well as Cait mumbling 'perfect' over and over again

with a huff you pull away "Cait, who was it that said a white wall may seem empty" you take a breath and Cait plays with your hair "But its ready to be filler, and in its readiness needs nothing, it stands complete" you finish "hm.. whoever it was is right, just because something seems empty doesn't mean its not complete" you giggle at her cluelessness "It was you Cait.. you told me that strange poem but it makes me wonder, if your ready, ready to be happy with me" you look into her eyes, her pupils dilated as she stares back with love "I'm ready Princess,..." without hesitation you push your soft lips against hers, your strawberry chap stick mixing with her vanilla "tomorrow, I promise I'll do it tomorrow" she says a bit breathlessly as she lets go of the kiss "Pinky promise" you childishly stick your pinky finger to her and she intertwines the two and locks it in with your thumbs touching, she then kisses your hand "Pinky promise"

--

The very next day, Cait fulfilled her promise and snuck you into her house, she wanted you to officially meet her parents, as her girlfriend :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guys i miss arcane :(

but omg the caitvi sesbian lex was so goooddd, expect 18+ hcs coming soon, theyre probably gonna come out before the change series ends tbh sorrry :(((

🐮 👦🏾soon.......

[darkbluekies]

This is just me rambling lmao, some like to read these ones so I wanted to share my thoughts lol

I absolutely love to write, like ... it's unhealthy lol🤩

I write EVERY DAY. Every. Single. Day. Everywhere. At home, on the bus, on the train, when I'm walking, in lectures if it's boring, in the car, everywhere. At all times of the day. And have done for over 10 years.

Me and my dear mother have realized that I am probably a high sensitive person and that could explain so much in my writing. The way I want to add symbolism in everything, noticing the smallest details, the way I understand and can express my characters feelings. And it's such a gift to be able to express so much, especially in the emotional writing i do.

But its fun, because I surprise myself at times. I have written something without thinking and when rereading it i notice that it fits perfectly into something or symbolizes something that I wasn't even aware of when writing. And it just works?

I was curious, so I asked someone to read a little part and analyze the characters and their relations to each other. I just wanted to see if a small part of the book out of context still could work with showing the characters. And it did it almost perfectly out of that little paragraph. I had put things into that small, insignificant part of the book that still explained so incredibly much about the characters. And I hadn't even realized it when writing!

I can show you the little part I put in here below

"The year is almost over, I can't believe it," said GF. “How long have we been here now? Three months? Four?"

"Almost four," said HG. “We arrived here in mid-September.”

"Time has flown by," said PT, who was lying on his back on the sofa. He smiled crookedly so that his eyes disappeared into half moons. “Maybe it's because this is so different from what I'm usually used to. I almost think the test has been worth it.”

A wave of stressed protest immediately filled the air. PT laughed and threw his head back, eyes lost in half moons.

"You've lost it," CH grinned and shook his head disapprovingly.

"Then we can hope that the coming year also goes quickly," ED huffed and reached for a butter cake. 

"What do you think will happen now that the new year begins?" asked WT, whose blue eyes were loose in the warm, soft glow of the candles. "Things are starting over now aren't they?"

"My grandmother used to think like that," PT said, exhaling slowly. His chest dropped. "That everything that had happened was erased and that you started over. On a blank page. Pretty nice to think like that, though.”

“You like that, huh?” grinned GF, leaning back in the armchair next to his head, his eyes fixed on the dark blond boy. 

PT tilted his head back. His smile grew, as if he already knew what GF was going to say. 

"With how much stupidity you do, you need to start over," the elder continued, amused. "I don't think you could ever make up for all your sins."

Out of this, one can analyze a lot apparently. From how PT uses humor as a coping mechanism, how WT seems to be the most worried out of the group, GFs teasing relationship with PT etc also shows that he is taking care of him etc.

I feel like I was born to be an author and I don't lure to become anything else. I really like to portray people, both their good sides and their flaws. I think that's why I'm so protective over my characters. I want them to feel so "themselves" as possible.

I've had an incident on here in 2023 where people didn't like a character choice for one of my ocs and thought that I doing something to exclude, when I in fact saw my character in another way and didnt mean for that to happen. People wanted me to either change the character, or not write about it. I couldnt bring myself to change this character because it felt like I would betray both myself and the character. If I changed characters against what i saw them as, they wouldn't be mine anymore. So I never wrote it again. Except for in Golden Trial, and I kept it vague for all characters.

Well, all in all i suppose I just wanted to share how much i love writing and my characters, their personalities and how they work. I love writing about feelings and their individual characteristics and relations🥺

[bridgyrose]

Would you mind doing something based on this by wuyi1551

(@wuyi1551 looks like I have another request from your wonderful art! Hopefully I did this well for you)

“Why wouldnt you want to leave your money to me?” Cinder asked as she took another sip from her wine. “If we were to get married, that would be the best way to make sure your wealth is used, right?” 

Raven gently swirled the wine around in her glass and smirked a bit as she sat the wine glass down. “Yes, but remember, if I were to get married to you, it would be for the benefits we’d get as a couple, not because I love you. And besides, if I were to give you a cent of anything I had, then I’d have to make sure my daughter and the rest of her family would get something too. While it would be amusing to write a will where no one gets anything, I… I still have my own shortcomings I need to make up for and giving my money away to charity will help clear things up.” 

“So this would be a marriage of opportunity and not love?” 

“Oh, I still love you, but this world isnt meant for those who wish to be single.” 

Cinder rolled her eyes. “Just like this world isnt for those who are weak? I know exactly how you’ve amassed the fortune you have and it wont take long for someone to realize that everything you have was taken from those you deem as weak. Giving it away will only open you up to that kind of investigation, even if you’re dead. Do you really want that kind of legacy to be left behind about you? You’ve taken strides to remove yourself from that old Bandit Queen title you had, do you really want to bring it back?” 

“But for all this talk of love, are you sure its me that you love and not the benefits of being with me?” Raven sliced into the chicken on her plate, her eyes locked on Cinder. “You never once have told me you love me, and now that we’re thinking hypothetically of marriage, you only seem to be concerned about my money and not about your love for me. So tell me, Cinder, do you love me?” 

“You know exactly why we’re getting married,” Cinder said as she clutched her burned arm, reeling at the remembrance of why it was scarred. “Mother feels like I’m the only “daughter” she has that she can consider expendable. That putting giving me to you will be the only way she’ll be able to keep her influence going in Mistral while her other daughters are married off to suitors in Atlas. Suitors of their choosing.” 

“Then lets spend the rest of our night enjoying ourselves and then we can go our separate ways.” 

Cinder looked up at Raven with a small smile as she lifted her wine glass and gently pressed it against Raven’s. She took another sip from her wine as the lights around her started to spin and her eyes started to feel droopy. Her cheeks felt warm to the touch, which didnt surprise her much as she checked the wine bottle, realizing it was the third one the duo had gone through. And before she knew it, she closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. 

Morning came rough for her as she groaned and woke up, stiff and sore from the night before. She sat up and paused when she couldnt move her arms from infront of her, the feeling of silk gloves over her hands and arms causing her to panic as she groggily got up. She nearly slipped off the bed as she stood up, only to be stopped by Raven’s hand. 

“Please dont move around too much, you’ll ruin your dress.” 

Cinder glared at Raven, her eyes glancing down at the white wedding dress she wore. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“Taking you as a bride,” Raven answered with a grin. “I *am* still a bandit queen and I take what I like. And while I still dont like your intentions, I like you. So, I’m going to take you.” 

“You cant just take me! Mother will be expecting a marriage contract-” 

“And you already signed one.” Raven grinned and pulled out a piece of paper tucked away in her cleavage. “And as far as anyone is concerned it was your idea.” 

Cinder’s eyes widened as she read the contract in front of her, stating that she would give up any claim to Raven’s money and be solely hers. “I-I didnt sign this!” 

“Not yet, but you will,” Raven said as she folded the paper up again. “You have two choices in front of you: be mine and give up any thoughts of being anything but mine, or I can let you go back to Atlas to your mother and let you take whatever punishment she’ll give you for letting me go.” 

Cinder glared and tried to snap at Raven, only to feel her teeth sink into a cloth that Raven held out in front of her. She tried to pull away until Raven pulled her back and tied it behind Cinder’s hend, gagging her. 

“That’s not how a bride-to-be should act. And since we both know that you’ll never go back to your mother, there really isnt much of a choice, is there?” 

Cinder quit fighting as she watched Raven tie a lead to the ropes around her wrists, all hope starting to fade as she was pulled along. Today would mark her first day as Raven Branwen’s wife, a decision that was no longer hers to make.

[skrs-cats]

I have reread sunrise (the first actual wc book I've ever owned) and it's been WILD reliving a few of my memories with all the made up stuff I've accumulated in brainrot over the three, now I have all these thoughts that I have to vomit out. Aka a REALLY LONG incomprehensible ramble post abt the ending book of po3. Mostly about lionblaze though. I'm sory

*IDK how many times I've mentioned this, but chapter 1 starting out w lion leaving the df for good and beating tigerstar in a fight ALWAYS makes me wonder how things would have been affected if he just straight up went for the killing blow. I've only ever read books 1-5 once, so I don't have the best memory, but I think it's interesting to note that tigerstar managed to actually injure him, and lion was scared that if he died here he'd be dead for real, and then lion was surprised to see the wound when he woke up. I'm just wondering if these facts were first introduced here or if I just have tunnel vision towards this book (which is also true)

*'lionblaze always knew there was something wrong between him and ashfur' no shit bitch 😩😩😩😩😩 and then there's lion wondering if cats suspect him as ashfurs killer, something to do about everyone realizing how they never got along. and NOW I'm thinking about lion ending his df dream w tigerstars blood on his paws, and how that might have made the READERS suspect HIM to be the killer (leafpool prolouge chapter contributing to this supicion seeing as lion is also her kit) Only to end as a red herring when Holly is revealed to be the girlie w mascara running down her face (u can't see it clearly but my point stands)

*interesting lines about ashfurs death that I think about regarding what a warrior means for the clan (nonverbatim):

-'Ashfur never mattered this much when he was alive'

-'Ashfur's murder now made the clan determined to make him into a hero.'

*lion is posited to be the brave one of the three, in regards to physical danger and such. I am taking this character trait and cranking it up to a million

*I forgot smoky and floss existed :( IDK if they're still alive in the latest arcs but I hope they're doing ok

*brambleclaw trying 2 be nice to his kids and tell them that they can confide in him bc clearly they're all hung up about something but being denied it is funny and sad to me personally. He didn't talk w Jay, just as leaf didn't talk much w lion in this book, but I think it's given an interesting ending when in the end, its officially revealed even squirrel didn't tell him of the truth, which ends their relationship for the most part. I really do wonder how well he could have taken this if he was in on the secret from the very start.

*outside of that they sure do like to crank up the dramatics and mention bramble / squirrel as their parents any chance they get so that the three can be Emo about it like. 'THEYRE NOT MY MOTHER/FATHER.' 'WHATEVER SKILLS WE HAVE DIDNT COME FROM YOU.' 'WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH? WE'RE NOT EVEN KIN!' last one is abt leafpool which is honestly a lot. I think.

* one of the saddest parts about this book was how lonely they made purdy 😭😭😭 this poor old man. I'm glad they brought him back to the clan. But also I think they just forgot about him bc for someone being so vocal in defending Sol, he was outright just not mentioned when it was revealed Sol 'escaped'

* more lines that I think about regarding clan cats (also nonverbatim)

- Clan cats' instinctive distrust of outsiders

- why do clan cats have to think they always know what's best?

* Sol. He's just there to me ig.

* I liked jingo. I hope she's doing ok even now

*criminal how this book barely has any sibling bonding w the three when that is my blood sweat and tears. Maybes that's why I got so obsessed w the three of them being happy together bc I was STARVED.

* honeyfern 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

* call it the thunderclan bias in me but I was sorta annoyed when the three other clans walked in and told them that they should get rid of Sol or else. But also thunderclans reaction to Sol seemingly having run away is like. Giving back stolen candy to pre schooler vibes. Or something. This makes no sense I'm sorry

*I think it's interesting that Jay and Holly manage to find out who their mother is thru their own way. With the former deducing it on his own (I actually enjoyed the detective esque work he did in doing it) and Holly straight up asking leafpool. So now I propose lion being informed someway or other thru SQUIRRELFLIGHT BC I WANT FOR HER TO TALK W ANY OF THEM AND THAT LION FIINDING OUT THRU HIS SIBS WAS SO BORING OKAY I WANT HIM TO HAVE A SHOCKING REVELATION TOO-

* ahem. Also can I mention Holly confronting leaf abt who their parents were and leaf thinking it was about ashfur is so unbelievably ????? KHADHD, I'm not saying it was bad. but MAN. Talk about awkward huh

* anyways. When they all find out that leaf is their mom and then squirrel and leaf are mentioned to have looked at the three in the same familiar expression they have always had; love. And that line hurt me as much as Holly refusing to acknowledge or listen to it and running away. Lion and Jay werent against listening to what their 'mothers' had to say, but they loved Holly more than to just let her go on her own

* I always blabber about how they should have tried to talk thru their issues but man. They tried multiple times. They tried so hard. I'm not gonna specify who but they tried.

* Holly and lion changing their view of Sol in opposite ways in the two instances they meet w him is interesting but also a bit confusing. The last time we get a pov of lion is when he helped Sol escape so we don't really get a clear idea of his own thoughts anymore w everything after. That's why I can't help but just think abt him I guess

* reading Hollyleaf spiral more and more into her grief and despair sure was something.

* out of the three, jayfeather was actually the calmest in this book. Which is saying something, I think. I'm now taking this and making it my mission to have all the three of them as short tempered grumpy schmucks.

there's a lot more to talk about for me regarding these three, but I think I've used up all the words in my brain. My last thought though, is that after going through All That as an ending, it was really funny to just have this as a preview of the next book.

Also a bonus picture of what this book looks like too, sorry if it hurts u but it's testament to me on how much I adored this thing when I was younger </3

[quodekash]

good morning, friends! im exhausted and only got like four hours of sleep, but at least im (kind of) mentally prepared to revisit the episode, so (you probably know the drill by now), here’s all my commentary and thoughts and stuff from the episode! 

i feel like its important for everyone to know that i made myself an ice tea at 11:30pm because i knew i wouldnt be able to survive the episode alone 

(and dont suggest that the ice tea is the cause of the lack of sleep, if anything it’s the only reason i got to sleep) 

i was very nervous in the beginning cos i was pretty sure photjanee wouldnt be homophobic but also what if she is 

props to her for not asking tinn cos he was visibly nervous/afraid 

and gun told gim and she didnt even say anything at first. she just looked so freaking proud, then hugged him and said “whoever you love, i love” and i love her so much she’s a freaking perfect mother 

PHOTJANEE’S NEURODIVERGENT AND AWESOME HUSBAND who is still nameless IS SITTING NEXT TO HER SO HE’S GONNA SAY SOME HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE WORDS 

“were you afraid to hear the answer” im sensing a recurring themeeee (if youve forgotten and somehow havent rewatched the show over and over again, in episode 6 gun kept saying he was afraid to hear the answer of who tinn liked) 

“i think if he’s ready, he’ll tell you himself. give it time. time for tinn and yourself.” I LOVE THIS MAN 

also side note: she’s really pretty 

i smell a sponsorship 

a canon printer sponsorship 

theyre so subtle with their sponsorships 

“by the way, this printer is so convenient, it can be used with any operating system, right?” NICE ONE GEM, REAL SUBTLE, NO ONE WILL KNOW 

TIWPOR TINNGUN DOUBLE DATE STUDY DATE ONCE AGAIN 

AND SOUNDWIN BEHIND THEM (and also yo and pat i guess) 

tinngun are always reminiscent of patpran, but so much throughout this episode it literally felt like i was watching bad buddy 

GUN FINALLY KNOWS THAT TIW KNOWS AND GUN IS LIKE ‘wait did you tell him’ AND TIW JUST GOES 

“do you think this nerd would succeed in getting your love without my help”

AND HE’S SO ICONIC AND HE’S SO RIGHT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOSH 

also rip four and tinn’s homosecuality, they have to pretend to date for this music video 

also also WE GET TO SEE FOUR AND HER GIRLFRIEND AGAIN OMG I LOVE THEM 

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY 

LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR IN-LOVE-NESS 

cant wait for the homophobia this episode /sarc

“we just have to wait until the dinosaurs are extinct and humans rule the world” TIW LITERALLY JUST SAID WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE BOOMERS TO DIE OUT AND THEN GAYS CAN RULE THE WORLD THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS 

I CANT EXPLAIN IT, THEIR FACES ARE SO REMINISCENT OF PATPRAN AND MORE SO THAN USUAL 

does- does this count as a first kiss 

that was so sudden 

um

help??? 

theyre so cute tho i love them 

PROM DAY (looking back, how does so much happen in this one day) 

✨gotta love being outed✨

GUN JUST TOLD THE BROSKIS 

and por is, naturally, very excited 

but also somehow very oblivious 

i had a feeling yo knew already 

apparently sound told win ages ago (when? idk man) 

pat having a suspicion about it is actually very surprising 

“you and you, what’s going on? you’ve been weird” 

FINALLY THE SCENE OF THEM HOLDING HANDS AND SHOWING THE GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR WAY TOO FREAKING LONG 

AND THEY BOTH LOOK SO FREAKING HAPPY 

IM DYING 

i need to ingrain every soundwin scene from this episode into my brain cos there’s so much of it and i want to see it all forever please 

tis raining and theyre under an umbrella and soundwin did it first 

okay so. it sucks that they were outed. and people shouldnt take photos of other people and then post it on social media because they can, cos thats an invasion of privacy and is not cool. 

on the other hand, everyone seems thrilled by it and tinngun aren’t hurt by it happening so i guess its okay 

in general tho people should not do this cos it could go very badly 

but this is a bl drama not real life so its fine 

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A NEUROSPICY GUY 

they did the happy arms 

and theyre sitting cross-legged on top of a table 

i love you random side character 

PAT AND POR BEING ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM 

“no one cares about people’s sexual orientation these days. its a new world. right, pumpkin??” GUI4HERIH4IIGU (note to past me: it gets worse. you’re gonna progressively die even more) 

EW PEOPLE ARE MESSAGING PHOTJANEE SAYING TINN’S GONNA RUIN THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION AND STUFF 

...what series was it 

did- did you watch bad buddy, photjanee 

did tinn’s parents watch bad buddy 

ive decided they watched bad buddy until proven otherwise 

‘its down to us whether we’re as kind to our son as those in the series’ THIS MAN HAS THE WISEST KINDEST WORDS AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG 

tiw and tinn are actually really sad about kajorn leaving the student council which is slightly confusing (not cos i hate him, im finding it increasingly difficult to hate him, i just didn’t think tiw and tinn actually liked kajorn) 

‘people are arguing whether it’s guntinn or tinngun’ 

... 

im gonna say it 

i have to say it 

you cant stop me from saying it 

soundwin did it first 

(technically it was satangwinny vs winnysatang but thats not the point) 

there i said it 

hah 

babes she’s known for months 

(but yes absolutely if you’re comfortable telling her and you think you should, go right ahead :] )

i hate this teacher 

i would like to punch him please 

luckily i know, thanks to the preview last episode, that he does, in fact, get punched, so it’s all good 

KAJORN IS IN THE ROOM WHILE GUN IS DISTRESSED 

I REPEAT, JORN IS THERE 

yay tinn is there with gun while he cries 

thank you tinn for existing 

NO 

GO AWAY TEACHER 

DON’T ENTER THE ROOM 

"im sorry, i was just joking around with my friend, i didnt mean to insult you" yeah, okay, well thats only part of the problem. other problems are: a. the fact that you had to say such a horrible thing in order to joke around with your friend. if that's the kind of humour your friend has, that person should not be your friend, unless it's also your humour, in whcih case, that isnt a sincere apology. b. it's not just that you insulted gun. you also insulted an entire community of people, of students, of human beings, who just want to exist and live as people doing what they want to do. you cant say something homophobic and then only apologise because it hurt one person close to you. you say something homophobic, and then you apologise - in a way that you GENUINELY MEAN - and say you had no intention of hurting so many people, including gun. or, alternatively, dont say the homophobic thing in the first place. c) you’re a freaking TEACHER. a TEACHER is there to SUPPORT and CARE for ALL of their students. a TEACHER should not be saying terrible things where ANYONE could overhear. if a TEACHER cannot be supportive for ALL STUDENTS, then they should not be a teacher. (im a huge defender of teachers cos theyre human beings with lives and families and hobbies and theyre more than just the adult human that tells you 2 plus 2 is 4. but i am also a huge defender of students cos theyre human beings and also children and theyre still developing. and i am especially a defender of students and an offender of teachers when the teacher clearly hates children or isnt a good teacher or should not at all be a teacher. so this isnt me hating all teachers, i love teachers, i could talk about how unappreciated they are for hours. but i cannot stand it when a teacher behaves the way this teacher did. i hate it so freaking much.) 

THE TEACHER WAS “SHOCKED” COS GUN IS A “ROCKSTAR” SO THE TEACHER “THOUGHT YOU WERE MANLY” 

THATS NOT AN EXPLANATION NOR IS THAT AN APOLOGY 

GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

AND EVEN THEN, GENDER AND GENDER EXPRESSION ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

LIKING MEN DOESNT MAKE SOMEONE ANY LESS ‘MANLY’ SO STFU AND GET FIRED ALREADY 

FREAKING YES 

GOOD

HELL YES 

KAJORN PUNCHED THE TEACHER BEFORE TINN COULD 

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULDVE ASKED FOR OR NEEDED 

I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

I LOVE KAJORN SO MUCH 

IM FINALLY ALLOWED TO NOT HATE HIM AND IM VERY GLAD ABOUT IT 

DAMN SOUND 

I MEAN I AGREE BUT WOW I WASNT EXPECTING THAT 

‘i HoPe YoU giVe A fAiR jUdGeMeNt oN tHiS cAsE’ bro its not court 

and absolutely she’ll give fair judgement 

shes freaking awesome and i love her 

also what does probation mean 

“don’t use violence to solve problems. do you understand?” okay, yes, im 100% on board with you, i completely agree, but, hear me out here: homophobia. 

I LOVE PHOTJANEE SO MUCH 

COLD AS ICE SHE GOES “if you’re not satisfied with my judgement, write a complaint. but dont forget to add every detail truthfully” 

SHE’S SO ICONIC 

TRULY A SLAY 

“LET GO OF MY SON. as principal, all i can do is submit a report regarding your behavior to those in authority. but as a mom, MY SON CAN LIKE WHOEVER HE LIKES. STAY OUT OF IT. if i hear anything filthy from you again, your penalty will go far beyond this” I FELT HER ANGER 

I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL 

SHES FREAKING AWESOME 

and kajorn looks so happy and content 

i love him 

PROM TIME AND THE STIMS ARE STIMMING REAL HARD RN 

WHY AM I CRYING WHILE LISTENING TO YOU’VE GOT MA BACK? THIS ISN’T A SAD SONG 

C O M E   C L O S E R 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH POR 

OOOOO NEW SONG 

SOUNDWIN CHEEK KISS 

IM LITERALLY CRYING THEYRE SO CUTE 

(note to past me: it’s gonna get worse) 

aww gun’s in the audience singing directly to tinn this is so cute 

GRBRHKBGRIUBJROBUR

I WOULDVE BEEN CONTENT WITH JUST SOUND KISSING WIN BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING 

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF COMPLAINING 

GIREBVIRUB

TINN AND GUN ARE GOING ON THE STAGE TOGETHER HAND IN HAND 

HOW IS THIS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

AND SOUND’S GOT A GUITAR SOLO COS HE’S AWESOME LIKE THAT 

HAPPINESS 

BIG HAPPIES 

MUCH OF THE VERY HAPPINESS 

their hugs always look so comfy 

someone in the audience asked if theyre real and gun said nothing but hashtag #MySchoolPresident and it’s still so funny to me 

its like theyre telling us the watchers 

like USE TEH HASHTAG, PLEASE 

and we’re like WEVE ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT, CALM DOWN 

ew old teachers 

shut up with your judgy faces 

no one cares 

YAY FOR YOUNG PROGRESSIVE TEACHERS WHO DONT CARE WHAT THE BOOMERS THINK 

cos, as tiw said, the boomers will die out soon and then gays can rule the world 

can the episode just end here 

i dont want to go through the emotional turmoil of whats coming 

cos i know its coming 

there’s gonna be a graduation scene 

and im very scared 

my mentally ill butt can never be okay for graduation scenes 

and yet my mentally ill butt keeps consuming media set in the senior year of high school 

DAMN THIS ENDING IS GONNA BE LONG 

31:48 MINUTES 

STRAP IN YOUR SEATBELTS COS WE’RE GONNA BE IN FOR ONE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER 

NO 

WAIT NO LET THERE BE MORE 

JUST ONE MORE 

OR TWO 

OR AN ENDLESS AMOUNT 

DON’T LET IT BE OVER 

PLEASE 

“its the last day of our high school lives.” ACK SHOOT FREAK FRENCH GUSTAV AND SHOELACES AND TURTLES AND FREAKING SHOOT NOODLES WHAT THE FLIP 

AH SHOOT I FORGOT ABOUT KAJORN BEING A YEAR YOUNGER THAN THEM 

HE HAS TO CARRY ON THEIR LEGACY WITHOUT THEM 

HES FREAKING ALONE 

IDEK IF HE HAS ANY FRIENDS 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ooo we’re gonna get another pool scene soon 

NO STOP IT WITH THE SIGNED SHIRTS I CANT TAKE IT 

‘no one ever asks if i can sign their shirts :[’ ‘sign my shirt’ 

‘ILL WRITE DOWN WHAT I FEEL THAT IM TOO AFRAID TO SAY’ I FREAKING LOVE THEM 

WAIT 

SHOOT

I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY DO IT 

IM IN SHOCK 

LITERALLY CRYING 

WHAT THE FLIP 

HOLY FREAK 

NO WAY 

THIS IS THE END 

THAT’S IT

IM DEAD

GONE

DECEASED

THEY FREAKING KISSED 

RIGHT THEN AND THERE 

PROPERLY KISSING 

BEFORE TINNGUN 

WHAT 

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING 

OW I PINCHED MYSELF 

I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE IT 

“i wont let you kiss first you barstool” HOW ARE THEY SO- GJRBGIKRB

BUT ONCE ISNT ENOUGH 

OH NO, THEY HAVE TO KISS AGAIN 

JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

THEY ALREADY STABBED ME A COUPLE TIMES 

THEN THEY KISSED AND THEY SLICED ME IN HALF WITH A REALLY COOL SWORD 

AND NOW THEYRE SLICING MY HEAD OFF JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

‘STOP TRYING TO LOOK HANDSOME IDIOT BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY HEART SO WEAK’ I CANT WITH THESE TWO 

I LITERALLY CANT EVEN PROCESS THAT THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 

SURELY IM DREAMING RIGHT NOW

THERES NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY FREAKING KISSED 

AND TIWPOR RIGHT AFTER??? IT’S TOO MUCH POWER 

AWWWWWW NOOK AND YOOOO

BUT POOR PAT IS COMPLETELY LONELY 

PLS LET PAT NOT BE LONELY FOREVER 

THEY BETTER GIVE PAT SOME HAPPINESS 

NO?? THEYRE JUST GONNA CHANGE THE SCENE LIKE THAT??? OKAY THEN???????? 

no but why wasnt tiwporpat an option 

they couldve gone down the polyamory route 

as much as i love poking fun at pat being lonely, i want him to be happy, and tiwporpat makes sense 

(i must also say that patjorn also makes sense and i wouldnt have been mad if they went down the tiwporpat route or the patjorn route. theyre both amazing. but no, they went with pat is lonely forever and its really freaking sad. thanks guys.) 

OH TINNGUN POOL SCENE 

POOL SCENE NUMBER... IDEK AT THIS POINT 

they should kiss btw 

GUN WROTE #MYSCHOOLPRESIDENT ON TINN’S SHIRT AND TINN WROTE ‘APPROVED BY THE SCHOOL PRESIDENT’ ON GUN’S SHIRT AND ITS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

IT COMES FULL CIRCLE SO BEAUTIFULLY 

THEY LITERALLY COULDNT HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING GREATER 

I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW 

tinngun still have not kissed 

NO PLS I CANT TAKE IT WITH THE HEARTFELT SPEECHES 

HOW DO YOU CRY SILENTLY 

NO THEYRE PLAYING ONE LAST SONG TOGETHER 

STUFF YOU 

I LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF IVE EVER CRIED HARDER THAN I DID WHILE WATCHING THAT FREAKING FINAL SONG 

tinn’s father is so neurodivergent i love him 

OMG GUN IS ACTUALLY SITTING AT THEIR TABLE AND HAVING A MEAL WITH THEM 

IT’S NOT IMAGINARY GUN 

IT’S REAL GUN 

THIS IS CRAZY 

PFFFFFFT TINN’S DAD HELPED HIM WRITE THE SONG FOR GUN 

THAT’S FREAKING HILARIOUS 

OH MY GOSH THEYRE ABOUT TO KISS- 

darn you gun and your bloody hand in the way 

too many times 

this has happened far too many times 

just kiss 

please

YES 

GOOD 

EXCELLENT 

but also soundwin did it first 

ANYWAY THAT WAS PERFECT 

OH MY GOSH 

IM NOT OKAY 

(the funniest thing about me constantly saying ‘im dying’ or ‘im dead’ is that my fitbit hasnt been able to pick up on my heartrate for literally hours. like, since i started watching the episode. it just stopped working. and if your heart isnt beating, you’re quite literally dead.) 

final thoughts / main takeaways from that episode (and therefore the whole show) 

tinngun are very cute 

tinngun are patpran variants (we already knew this but still) 

tiwpor havent been dating the whole time but there was definite crushing for a very long time 

pat is sad and lonely and pls let there be tiwporpat or patjorn at some point in the future 

we need a sequel please and thank you 

soundwin are freaking perfect 

this show is perfection 

im mentally ill 

that teacher sucks 

tinn’s dad is neurodivergent and i love him 

photjanee is amazing and awesome and i love her 

gim is the greatest mother and i love her 

i love all of these characters way too much  and, last but not least, 

soundwin did it first. 

[bteezxyewriter12]

Soulmate/ 9

Pairing- Hobi x Named Reader

Word count- 2.5k

Includes- Angst

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist 📝Hobi Masterlist

Hobi POV

I'm so pissed at Namjoon for what he did to Joanne

How he just left her, then didn't even call or text the day his baby was being born

I could never tell her, but I was there when Kiara was being born

I found out from Yoongi it was happening when he asked me if I could get a hold of Namjoon because he couldn't

After I called and he didn't answer, I went to the hospital

I got there and sat in the waiting room

I wanted to be there for her even if she never knows I was

I had to hide when I saw them wheeling her into the delivery room

After I sat back down but her mom had to stay in the waiting room too and she recognized me

"Hoseok?", she asked

"Um yeah.", I answered

"What are you doing here?"

"Um I wanted to be here for Joanne. I know Namjoon isn't here so I thought someone should be. Please don't tell her"

She sat down next to me, "So you came."

"Yes"

"Why? She told me what happened between you two. She was a wreck for so long because of you."

I was surprised that she didn't say it angrily

She just said it like it was facts

"Honestly, I've been a wreck too. I didnt mean for any of that to happen. That girl, she kissed me, I pushed her away but I did keep it from Joanne and that's my fault."

"Why didn't you just tell her?", her mom questioned

"Because I was afraid. I was afraid she would leave me. And I told this girl after the first time it happened that I was never going to do anything with her. She didn't like that so, she kissed me two more times, had her security take the pictures and she sent them to Joanne using Yoongi's name. All because I said no.", I told her

"Have you told Joanne this?"

"No. I didn't find out until months later. I hadn't spoken to Joanne in months and I didn't know if she would of talked to me. It wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Of course it would have mattered!", her mom exclaimed

"How?" I asked doubtfully

"Joanne isn't stupid Hoseok. She would have understood that that girl was setting you up."

"I don't know. She was really upset when I said some thing stupid.", I admit

"You mean when you didn't know if you liked kissing the girl?"

I hung my head

"She told you?"

"I'm her mother of course she told me. And I told her that you were probably upset and confused and just said something stupid.", she said

"You did?"

"Yes. Men stay stupid things all the time.", she rolls her eyes.

I can now see where Joanne gets her sassiness and sarcasm from

"So let me ask you. Did you like kissing that girl?"

"No. She wasn't Joanne. After I got over the shock I pushed her off me." I told her

"Well I can tell you that Joanne was heartbroken and because you lied, she didn't believe you anymore and didnt trust you. And you can't have a relationship without trust."

"I know", I whispered

"But that can still change if you tell her that that girl was behind everything. That she did this to separate you."

"I can't tell her. She's having a baby with Namjoon. She's with him.", I said

"Ha. Namjoon. Don't get me wrong he seems like a nice kid but he is not ready for any of this. That clearly shows by him not being here. He puts his career first, which is not a bad thing but it is when you have a baby. They aren't good for each other. And she doesn't love him. Not in that way."

Her mom looked at me right in the eyes

"She loves you."

"Um what?", I answered, complete shocked

"She loves you Hoseok. I'm her mother, I know it, I see it. She thinks I don't see how sad she is all the time or that I can see through her happy act. She never talks about Namjoon. Yes, she defends him when I give her my opinion but she doesn't gush about him to me like she did with you."

I don't know

That doesn't mean she loves me

I wish it did but it doesn't

"She still has pictures of you and her, she never threw them away. I know because I was cleaning her room and I found a box of the pictures and everything you ever gave her. I've caught her staring at those pictures when she doesn t think I'm around. People don't keep those things if they still don't care about the person. If she loved Namjoon she would of thrown all that stuff away."

I had no words to say

I had no idea she still had all that stuff

"I can't tell her. She's trying to work things out with Namjoon. I can't come in the way of that."

"Tell me, how do you feel about Joanne? Right now?"

"I love her with all my heart. I never got over her, I'm still in love with her. I miss her so much." I confessed

"Then fight for her"

--------

I wasn't sure about what her mom said

Until I walked into that room and I saw her

Until I saw her beautiful baby

Until I saw everything I could have again, if I just say something

I wasn't going to say anything at that point

She just had a baby

But when she started crying, I just wanted to hold her and kiss her and make everything better.

When I walked out of the room, I decided that I'm going to give her some time to be with her baby but then I'm going to talk to her and tell her everything

I'm going to fight for her

🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️

J POV

When Namjoon first came home, he kept his promise

My mom went back to New York when he came back

He helped with Kiara as much as he could

He changed diapers

He held her at night when she cried

He played with her

He came to the doctor with us

He spent so much time with her, she was always in his arms, he was always smiling at her

He didn't want to let her go

He was being a dad

But all that crumbled when he said he had to start writing for his new album

He spends all his time doing that

He gets upset every time she cries

Every time her crying woke him up

He always stressed and tired

He leaves early to go to the studio and doesn't come home until late

He stopped helping me with her

I have to do everything

Alone

Anytime I ask for help, he snaps at me that he's busy and can't help me right then

Or he had to write the lyrics

Or he had to compose the music

Or he had to record

He's missing everything that our daughter is doing

The most crucial time when he should be bonding with her

And I'm getting more and more pissed

---------------------------

Kiara just turned two months today but again Namjoon was no where to be found

He was there for her when she turned one month

That was when he was still around

Namjoon finally comes home, late again

After Kiara finally went to sleep and he hasn't seen her all day

"Where the hell were you Namjoon?" I ask

He rolls his eyes and I want to smack him

"Where do you think I was Joanne? At the studio."

"Again?"

"Yeah, I told you about the album."

"Why can't you do some of the work here?", I ask

"I can't work here."

"Why not?"

"Because...", he trails off

"Because why?"

"Because..."

"Yeah?"

I'm waiting for his answer

"Because I can't focus!", he yells

As if on cue Kiara starts crying again

"Jesus!", he yells, "I can't work with her crying all the time."

"You do know she's an infant right?", I snap

"I'm not stupid! I know that. She's just always crying. I can't concentrate, I can't sleep, I'm stressed and I can't make her stop. Her crying is driving me crazy."

I glare at him, so fucking upset

"Maybe she wants her father! Have you thought of that? Maybe she wants you! She doesn't see you much so when you're here she wants you. And the only way she can tell us that is by crying.", I shout back, "Maybe if you pick her up when she's crying, she'll stop."

"Joanne I can't do this. I thought I could but I can't."

My heart drops, "What does that mean?"

"I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to be a dad. I can't do this. This is not the life I want. I'm only 24, I'm too young for this", he says quietly

Is he kidding?

"And you think this is what I wanted? You think I'm ready for this. You're too young? I'm only a year older than you! Did you think I wanted to be a mom at 25? A single mom?", I yell

Kiara is still crying and I leave the room to get her

Namjoon is standing in the same spot when I get back with her

"I'm sorry Joanne. I can't do this."

"So what? You're just going to leave?", I spit out

His head drops, "Yea"

Is he serious?

After everything he's just gonna leave

He takes an envelope out of his bag and hands it to me

'What the hell is this now', I think

I shift Kiara to my shoulder, taking the envelope

She has her head on my shoulder and is quiet now, just looking at me

I take out the document that's in the envelope and I read it.

"Are you fucking serious? Namjoon please tell me this is a joke."

He shakes his head

"You're really giving up your rights to her? To your daughter?", I snap shocked

He wants nothing to do with her

Or me

How could he be like this?

Seriously, to an infant?

This is going to far

He just nods, "I don't want this Joanne. I'm sorry but I can't take care of her like you can."

"But you don't have to sign your rights over.", I tell him

That's like he's abandoning her

Which he is, I realize

"Yea I do. I can't make any decisions regarding her. I don't know what to do. Maybe later on in life but I can't now. It's better to just let you have her. I may not be around much but I can see you're a great mom. You put her first and I can't. You deserve to have her.", he says quietly, "I can help you financially if you wa..."

"I don't want your money Namjoon. I just wanted you. You're help, for you to have a relationship with your daughter. But I guess that's not going to happen."

He shakes his head, "Not now."

I sigh, at a complete loss of what to do

Everything is just falling apart around me

"I'm going away to do few shows for a week. You can have the apartment if you want or if you want to move out you can. Just let me know."

I actually can't believe this is happening

"I'm sorry", he turns and leaves the apartment.

I put Kiara in her crib, then I go to my bed and cry

I'm just completely devastated

He thinks I can do this by myself

I can't

I just do it because he's not here

I don't know how I'm supposed to live and care for a baby all alone

I can't believe he signed his fucking rights away

Who does that?

I hug my pillow, crying into it so I don't wake Kiara up, letting myself fall apart

---------------------------

"So he just left?", my mom asks over the phone

"Yeah."

"And he actually signed his rights over to you?"

"Yeah"

My mom curses in Spanish

"Now what?", she asks

"I don't know mom. I can't afford this apartment by myself. I don't know how I'm going take care of Kiara, work and make enough money. I just don't know.", I sigh

I'm in huge trouble

I can't afford child care

I don't want to hand my baby over for someone else to raise

But if I don't work, I don't make money

And I'd only be able to afford a studio apartment with the amount I make

I'm screwed

"Joanne. Come back home.", my mom says

"What?"

"Come back home. To New York. You can live with me until you get your footing. I'll help with Kiara", she suggests

"Mom, this is my home.", I whisper

"No Joanne. Korea was supposed to be a temporary place until you finished high school. You decided to stay. But it was never meant to be your home. Your home is here in New York. Your family is here."

"Mom", I start

"What do you have there? Nothing. There is nothing keeping you there and you need help. You can't watch Kiara and work. Come back here at least for awhile until Kiara is ready for school. Then if you want to go back, go back.", she says

"I..I have to think about this mom."

"So think"

---------------------------

My mom is right

There is nothing keeping me here

And I can't afford to live here on my own and with a baby

So I decided I'm moving back to New York

It's the best option

I have help over there, my family is there and Kiara won't be alone with just me

I hire people to help me pack and ship my and Kiara's things

I let Namjoon know that I'm taking Kady and leaving

I also let him know if he wants to be in Kiara's life down the road, he can be.

I'm not going to keep him from his daughter or Kiara from her father, rights or no rights

I'm not a monster

I don't tell Hobi

I can't

Or I'll lose it

I still love him so much but no one wants to raise someone else's baby

I have to do what's best for Kiara

So in December, Kady and I get on a plane and leave Korea

For good

[ask-the-shorty-squad]

Haiji!! For the last time No!! We cant just waltz over back to Fuyu and Terus just so you can see Monaca!! I know you're planning to hurt her!! And most likely Fuyu and Teru too!! And.. I dont even wanna think what you'd do to Hiyoko!

Eh, she's pretty but not what I'm after right now.. Look, Toko. Monaca killed hundreds.. By killing her we get rid of another nuisance.

You, my.. Associate. Are irredeemable.

Look it aint my fault she's a fucked up psychopath!!

Wh-what the- Yes!! Yes it is your fault!! You are like.. The biggest cause of why Monaca even sided with Junko!! Had you of shown her love and kindness a-and be the big brother she never got to have.. Nobody in Towa would have died!! Monaca could've had a role model in her life.. Someone she could look up to and depend on... But you..

You took all that and more away from her when you decided she wasnt good enough!! So yes.. Haiji! It is your fault.. Because of you.. A whole city went to shambles!!

Its.. My fault? My fault?...

Well have I got something to say to you.. Bitch!!

*Before Toko could even get a word out..*

SMACK!!!

"Nngh..."

Y-you.. You fucking bastard!! Why the fuck would you punch me!?! I'm bleeding!!

"Huff" "puff" None of this is my fault.. Monaca was a spoiled little attention seeking brat... She didnt deserve my love. She didnt deserve anything.. And she still doesnt.. When I see that brat again it's over for her.. I'll make sure her death will be just as slow and painful as mine was in the neo world... After that.. Her dads are next.

*... Hopefully Monaca and Hiyoko are doing better than.. This.*

*They fortunately appear to be doing better! They're strolling around the near by forest just taking in the beauty of Mother Nature. The two jump on rocks and occasionally fallen trees whilst chatting about whatever comes to their minds. What a wonderfully peaceful moment!

TIME TO RUIN IT!*

Hey! So... I've been thinking about something lately. More specifically, someone.

Oh? Who?

Well, when we left the simulation, everyone who died in there came back alive and well. It had me thinking about a certain someone back in the neo world.

*Hiyoko paused for a moment. She knew the very mention of the name she means to speak of might cause her dear niece dread, or at least minor frustration, and yet, she felt it was important to at least talk about it. With bated breath, she attempted to utter the unfortunate name. Yet, she was swiftly interrupted when Monaca suddenly spoke.*

Let me guess. Haiji? What's got you thinking about him all of a sudden?

*Relieved, and a little surprised at her correct guess, Hiyoko resumed.*

Well... with all this weird stuff that's been going on lately. I couldn't help but wonder that, at some point ... we might run into him eventually. And yeah, the idea sound kinda dumb but... I couldn't stop thinking about it. Mainly, how you think about it. I know this might not be something you want to think or talk about, but... I just wanted to check and make sure... are you okay?

*Monaca's silence felt deafening. It's true that, the very idea of seeing her old brother again, was not one she wanted to ponder on or a long while. However, a part of her knew at some point, she had to have this sort of conversation with someone. She's thankful that it's with Hiyoko.*

I’m... fine. I’ve been fine. It’s just... the thought of seeing him again, after everything... after all this time. At this point, it feels like nothing ever really ends with him.

Yeah. I get it. But hey! If by chance we do bump into him, we can deal with him no problem! You've killed him once before, and I know you can do it again if you really want to. Just remembered that, you're not alone, and you never will be. You're my niece! I got your back, no matter what!

*Monaca quietly nodded her head as she clutched her sketchbook. Her Aunt's words were reassuring, and yet, it didn't stop the dread from seeping in. Could they really bump into him? The city is big and bustling with people, so the possibility isn't completely nonexistent. The very thought of just seeing him again made Monaca's skin crawl and spine shiver. Would she really be fine the moment she sees him? Was she fine now?*

[luckybitch1]

im also (surprisingly) energetic when i dont live at home i mean surprising to me. its a shame because i know what i have in me now but my circumstances are rough on me, really rough. that probably is why im so resilient when all is said and done but its not enough when for so, so long ive struggled for a future that keeps slipping away from me. i wished and struggled for freedom only to have my own bad decisions and my family's fucking neverending problems rip it out of my hands at the last second, right when i thought "fuck i can finally feel it"

whats really sick is i know they want nothing more than to see me fail, not out of vengefulness but out of selfishness and loneliness. if i think about it too long it makes me sick and so sad. and angry. i had let go of a lot of anger but i cant hold back at a time like this when the people im supposed to be able to rely on fuck me over. it makes me angriest because i put myself in this position by avoiding a hard decision once again, not being able to trust myself, and out of singlemindedness, anxiety, and impatience, trusting my mother with something precious which i KNEW, deep down, would be a mistake. but i thought it was only going to be temporary. i didnt know everything i would come to realize in just one year, and i didnt expect to make such dramatic changes in my plans. i cant say i regret those changes, but i had to rehaul everything in the first place because i didnt trust my gut and acted out of pure desperation and inexperience to get the fuck out, i even left my dog behind. Lol talk about being my fathers daughter

but im better than him because now that im back, im taking care of everything and praying to god i can still get out of here with him, soon soon soon. like please. my own life is getting away from me every day and that woman will never learn her lesson, if i have to stay in her house much longer im losing more years to anger and how miserable i am. and i cant do this

having this emergency with my dog and this low point in my adulthood after dropping out of my program, realizing i have no one to rely on except these unreliable, fearful people who im supposed to know as my parents but what the hell does that even mean to me after 25 years of the same thing... i cant live like this and the only way out is through because my hands are tied unless i want to abandon my dog when its literally life or death, and i can never ever do that and live with myself. not just because hes my dog not just because i love him

i dont know how or when ill get out of here this time but im taking him with me and im never looking back

[majorasnightmare]

tbh dirge only really starts indulging in the comforts of financial security once hes stable with minthara. minthara enjoys a really high standard of living and the familiar luxuries that bring with it, but dirge never valued himself as an individual long enough to meaningfully indulge in that sort of thing. and while im sure minthara finds plenty of enjoyment in their high intensity passionate intimacy with each other, i think shed really enjoy being able to peacock a little bit with her expensive tastes in luxury goods and the excuse it gives her to pamper and spoil a partner. she strikes me as someone who enjoys occasionally taking on the role of provider in a relationship as a kind of decadence because it flatters her pride and grounds her in a sense of feeling needed and appreciated.

dirge, for most of his life, HAD money, he just never used it except for pragmatic utilitarian purposes. while he could have easily indulged himself in the spoils of being a religious idol worshipped upon a pedestal, he simply didnt see any value in doing so because it wouldnt help him fulfill his divine duty, and deeper than that he also just didnt like himself enough to partake in hedonism of any kind. his standards were set low in his childhood by circumstance and then self loathing and abuse ensure they never raise any higher even when he has the means, and i just feel like minthara would consider it a point of pride to change that. as much as she enjoys inflicting some well deserved punishment and denial, i think shed also adore being able to spoil a lover, even moreso if she gets to claim any "first times", and dirge is more than willing to let himself be coerced into it.

i also think that when dirges egg cracks and he figures out hes bigender, minthara has a field day with it and relates some of menzoberranzans cultural concepts of gender to give dirge a touchstone for femininity that isnt whatever the fuck is going on in the cult of bhaal. minthara herself has a fairly positive relationship to drow gender dynamics and how that influences her perception of herself and her skills, and while she generally avoids a universal application of those roles to society outside of the underdark (while she occasionally lapses into assumptions about the gender of political office, she does notably typically avoid making blanket statements about surface men and usually specifies either a personal preference (saying that dolors mother shouldve been killed by a daughter rather than a son) or specifies what its like in menzoberranzan), she does still value them as having intrinsic merit and instead merely holds the opinion they arent universally applicable rather than incorrect, and i think thatd manifest as a desire to share what she finds desirable, enjoyable, and empowering about being a woman in menzoberranzan to dirge, who otherwise does not have a positive concept of femininity or womanhood thanks to the patriarchal (and misogynist) culture fostered specifically within the bhaalspawn family hierarchy.

like i dont think minthara plays with gender all that much for herself, but finds surprising enjoyment in doing that with dirges gender. especially cuz dirge doesnt really act all THAT different on a girl day so minthara still gets to see her drenched in blood on the precipice of manic madness, which as we all know is peak. i think minthara doesnt have any strong opinions on fashion and mainly adheres to social customs to signal her class position without any real personal investment in it but i DO think shed find enjoyment in fussing over whatever formalwear dirge wears in girlmode like i think minthy would have a blast with that.

like tldr i think dirge has zero idea what to do with money but minthara has a LOT of ideas on specifically what to do TO him with that money

[imraespace]

HELLOHIHIHIIRIHI dailt checkin but ‼️i yapped very hard again …‼️

i realize how long its gonna acc take to do my hair bc i have to bleach my hair and then color and then get home and then such and such and i have a poster to make for graphic designer UUGUGGHHH AM I GONAN FINISH THIS TODAY I JOPE I DO BC I HAVE HISTORY HOMEWORK TO DO 💔💔

shes like about to bleach my hair rn and like ugh im lowk so pissed bc idk how well i can actually clutch up on this poster esp bc i know i probably dont wven have a chance ☹️☹️ whatever i guess idk …

TODAYINSHCOOL WE WENT TO… church STOP we walked for like 20 mins to the church and then mass and then 20 mins back to school just in time for second period i wanted to miss a little bit of p2 but its okay bc at least i got my steps in fr

in the middle of second period i just started scrolling on my phone and i found bllk figures AND I WANTED TO PAY FOR IT LIKE IMMEDIATELY SO I WAS TEXTING MY MOM BEING LIKE “MOTHER MOMAY MOMMY MAMA CAN I BUY PLS” AND SHE WAS LIKE ok go buy do u have ur card?? and iwas like .. no..! BUT THERES APPLE PAY!! and when i clicked apple pay it legit switched my currency to damn euros??? HELLO?? it was like 10.55?? in cad and then it was 7.01 in euros and its around the same but it said the euros was = 10.72 cad like hello why did u add more cents.. LIKE OKAY ITS CENTS IT DOESNT MATTER BUT STILL MONEY IS MONEY MY MOM DIDNT JUST WORK FOR 8 HOURS FOR ME TO ADD MORE CENTS TO MY PURCHASE 👿 so i havent bought it yet i was planning to buy it once i got home but i ended up getting distracted and eating cereal it was delicious but i finished up all my milk so i kinda want more

FOR MY COOKING CLASS I MADE COOKIE BATTER 😈😈 i ended ip eating the cookie dough and uh lets just say i hipe i dotn get salmonella with the amount of cookie dough i ate … LIKE I SWEAR I ATE MORE COOKIE DOUGH THAN ANYONE ELSE IN MY CLASS HELP LIKE OOPS I GOT A LIL HUNGRY THERE GUYS..

umumum my old friends made this science club and its kinda run by the guy that i used to like (the one that forced me to confess but ill legit just call him lead while telling stories ab him now so #newsidecharacter!! HELP ME) and like im honestly surprised they made a club but also im just like tf is a science club.. like im a chem person so thats why im like omg science club but also omg science club 🤢🤮 BECAUSE WHAT I THOUGHT CLUBS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE FUN UGGGHHHH whatever im not joining even if during the summer he legit wanted me join so im surprised he hasnt said anything to me but then again im the one who stopped talking to him i cant really expect much and i lowk hope he #stays seven feet away from me #covid #lockdown because i dont want his goofy ahh haircut near me i see him in my fourth period always staring at me …. maybe its a coincidence and hes actually looking at his friend who sits beside me and i swear theyre like #inlove #slowburn #enemiestolovers bc WHY DO THEY GIGGLE AROUND EACH OTHER SM AND THEYRE ALWAYS NEAR EACH OTHER AND U COULD SEE IN THEIR EYES THEYRE LIKE 🤞🤞🤞 YKWIM. but then again thats what everyone said to me about him bc everyone thought he liked me bc of how he looked at me + how he talked to me bc it was “softer” but no he saw me as his best friend who he will get along with for the rest of highschool…!!!!! (he is NOT getting that wish he did me so dirty) like listen i get it i was really close to you and if you just let me confess to you ON MY OWN DECISION then maybe i wouldve still been talking to you and maybe if he also just had more of a personality other than school and his damn guitars like ho no one cares shut up about your damn guitar collection i dont see u caring about my manga and stuffed animal collection..

OHYEAH THAT REMINDS ME LAST YEAR WHILE I WAS HANGING OUT AFTERSCHOOL W HIM CUZ HE WAS WAITING FOR HIS DAD TO COME PICK HIM UP (i stayed afterschool just so he wasnt alone btw i had no reason to be waiting bc my parents cannot pick me up i take THE DAMN BUS) and he randomly blurted out “i dont really like anime…” like bro what do you think i care if you dont??? I REALLT DIDNT UNTIL HE SAID THAT CUZ WHY WOULD YOU RANDOMLY SAY YOU DONT LIKE ANIME LIKE OKAY AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE ????? I STILL THINK ABOUT IT TO THIS DAY BC IT WAS SO RANDOM WE WERE LEGIT TALKING ABOUT ARCTIC MONKEYS AND RELIGION PROJECTS?? like imagine being like “yes so i love arctic monkeys and that one song called-“ “I Hate Anime.” HELP?? LIKE WAS IT WVER THAT DEEP LIKE MAYBE BC I LIKE ANIME A LOT THEN THAYS WHY HE SAID IT LIKE IT WASNA CRIME TO NOT LIKE ANIME but then agajn who am i to judge what someone dislikes

ohyes on the topic of him and how i said id be calling him lead i wanna say the lore of the actual code name HELP i sure damn hope no one from my school/friends know your blog or use tumblr or else theyll probably know who i am but im gonna bet on the fact that they think tumblr is grindr and they dont know anyone here

his code name is (or was??? bc i kinda just refer to his actual name irl) pb which is obv the symbol for lead/plumbum BUT IT TURNED INTO PB BC ID CALL HIM POOKIE BEAR HELP i cant even look at pookie bear the name because of that or pb anymore… like i kinda ruined the element for myself bc plumbum is such a funny name and then i just remember his goofy face ….. LIKE LEGIT WE HAD A LESSON ON SOME RANDOM ELEMENTS AND MY TEACHER WENT ON A WHOLE RANT ABOUT LEAD LIKE HELLO PLEASE STOP I AM HALLUCINATING HIS FACE ATP (okay bachira..) BUT NOW IM SCared for all the future crushes ill get in the future bc what if i end up ruining THE ENIRE PERIODIC TABLE FOR MYSELF LIKE OBVIOUSLY I WONT GET THAT MANY CRUSHES BUT LIKE YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. i mean i already hate chem at this point im fighting my teacher over naming systems and how i legit barely get it because theres so many things to memorize UGH

OKAY DAILT AUESITON TIME BC I JUST YAPPED MY HEART OUT STOP

umumumum which bllk character would have a s/o and make petnames for them but it would be the most cringe code names ever like ummmmm my wittle smoochie smoochie poopoo bear my little pumpkin pie seasoning the toilet to my toilet paper type of thing HELPME

- 🐙

HAII OMGOODNESS THIS IS SO LONG HELPME IM SORRY I DIDNT READ IR YESTERDAY I fell asleep as soon as I got home then spent the night revising for my spanish test which I'm scared for..

SO MUCH YOU HAVE TO DO DANG GIRL DO YOU EVER GET A BREAK? HISTORY?? I hate history

HELP I REMEMBERED WHEN I USED TO GO TO CHURCH IN PRIMARU SCHOOL it was a roman catholic school and the church was literally across the road BUT IN THE CITY THERES ALWAYS LIKE HOMELESS PPL SO EVERYTIME WE CROSSED TO GO OVER TO THE CHURCH THEY ALWAYS STARED AT US now my high school isn't roman catholic it's not even religious.. we do pray tho but not like my old school but I have my rosary in my bag all the time aha!

20 minute walk dang😨 I'm sure jesus is delighted to see yall attend mass HELP

IM GIGGLING they just wanna be extra with the cents!! money grabbers fr...

OMG COOKIES I WANNA MAKE COOKIES I've never before the most I ever made is oreo cheesecake but not the baking kind it was the chilled one

PMAO when I was younger I used to just eat dough idk why.. like when my mommy was making pizza or sada(it's a flat bread I believe its an indian dish but it's common here and it yummy its like a side dish)

omg a science club sounds fun honestly but I don't do science! I say take over the club and become the owner you're better than those side characters

HELP THE HASHTAGS #6ftaway #covidcore ig he stares at you again I'll call my pigeons to pick his eyes out

HELP INLOVE

omg he friend zone you.. I did that once HELP but🤫🤫

HELPME IM GIGFLING he's an oddball fr.. that's like me remaining a random joke that happened 3 weeks ago and start laughing in the middle of a conversation

POOKIE.. BEAR..😨 I saw pb ans thought if peanutbutter help BUT POOKIE BEAR GIRL

HELP bachira core fr...

LMAO THATS WHY I DIDNT GIVE MY CRUSH A CODE NAME my friends just said "mara look your bae!" and I'm LIKE SHADAUP? he's ugly tho idk what I saw I think it was the Christmas spirit that blinded me that year

I LOVE THE YAPPING EVEN THO MY RESPONSES ARE SO SHORT HELP

HELPMEE THE NICKNAMES THE RIGHT THING TO SAY IS SHIDOU I WANNA BE DIFFERENT AND SAY ARYU IDK WHY

[funshinebf]

more rambling; this time the focus is my mom and our relationship. heed tha tags 👍

i think its crazy when one of my family members like. actually sees how badly something theyve taken lightly or teased me for affects me. like. ive dealt with my phobia of bugs my entire life. i have constantly been teased for being a princess or being too cowardly and dramatic over something so small. but earlier tonight when i had my bug panic (i was grabbing bags of soda bottles from the basement and handing them up to my mom, and a bug crawled out from behind a bag i grabbed and scared me really badly.) my mom had like. a kind of surprising moment of genuine compassion for my phobia? like i was being very jumpy and tense and she did kind of start to pick at me, but i said "please dont be mean to me about this right now. im not doing this because i just think bugs are gross, i have like an actual genuine phobia and im really freaking out right now." like, as calmly as i could manage. and she like, got kinda quiet for a second. and then very gently was like "its okay, just take a minute and breathe." and like, tried reassuring me that there was only one bag left i had to grab and that the bug that was down there would be easy to avoid. it was just like. like i said it was very shocking to me to get comforted over something thats been a source of teasing for so so long, but it was actually like. really touching to me? i sometimes feel like.. im too forgiving of my mom? because like, she has had a pretty significant hand in a lot of my childhood trauma and my current emotional struggles. but she also... she's just a person. she's always just been a person who's doing the best she can with what she's been given. her childhood was also traumatic in a lot of ways, and thats only what i know about. thats only what shes talked about. on top of that, she became a mother when she was very young, and then a single mother pretty soon after that. i cant imagine doing that. and i think part of that is like... why its so easy for me to forgive her sometimes. because i feel like its unfair to her to paint her as some evil mastermind manipulative abuser, when she isnt *trying* to be abusive. she's just working with what she knows. what she's been taught. and she IS trying to get better, and ive seen her get better. i can see how different she is now from my childhood, not just in our own relationship, but with how she treats my little sisters too. and like, she still isnt perfect, she still has room to grow and change. but thats just being human. changing never stops. its not supposed to stop, we're supposed to keep moving forward, hopefully in a kinder direction. its so... it feels so heavy sometimes, having such a complex relationship with my mom and complicated feelings towards her. like. i love her. i really really do. and i know she loves me too, with her whole heart. but... i need to be able to admit that she has hurt me, in some ways that have left very deep scars that will always itch and ache. but i also need to be able to recognize that she didnt do it on purpose. i dont think any parent can ever be the perfect parent. the reality of being human is that you will hurt people, often on accident, often people you love, and often with good intentions. and parents are just humans. parents are humans that have taken on a very big and important and terrifying responsibility. and because of the nature of that responsibility, their mistakes can have much more permanent consequences on those they love, sometimes the ones they love most in the entire world. and thats kind of devastating to me, to think about how awful it would feel to learn about having done that. i can get frustrated with my mom a lot because i feel like she never admits her flaws or wrongdoings, but... while i still dont think its right, i can understand it. she copes with that heartbreak by being in denial. its not healthy, for neither herself nor those around her, but. again, thats what she knows. those are the cards she was given. and she still has room to grow from it. i want her to grow from it, and i want to be there to see it when she does.

i dont know, maybe im too soft-hearted and sentimental, maybe im too forgiving and understanding. but i want to believe in goodness in people's hearts, even when theyre people that have hurt me. waughh

[estrangedaframian]

"Mmhm. Paper cuts are no fun at all. And when the wind hits them a certain way? It hurts even more!" She whines, watching as he delicately cleaned her wound. She admired how gentle he was and luckily with her high pain tolerance, the sting didnt bother her. Just have to remember to put some cream on it later.

Her face remained still, just watching him curiously. She was surprised to see how well he took care of her and enjoyed how sweet he treated her so far. Shes glad to have someone who shows their love rather than just say it.

Then she heard the news that some locks he was unable to get unlock. She widened her eyes for a moment and all she could say was 'oh.' The young woman gave him a hug, holding him close to her for the moment. After a few moments of silence, she pulls away gently to look at him. "Im sorry lovely. I trust that things will be corrected when you and I are fully wed." She plants a kiss on his cheek, a shy smile on her face.

It was as if he read her mind because she yawned once again at the thought of sleep. She nods and scoots closer to him, hugging his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. "I would rather be with you while I sleep. We have to prepare for when we are together! I think it would be a nice exercise, I wont mind it. I always wanted to be cuddled and held in my sleep." She sleepily responds, closing her eyes. She felt safe with him there and wasnt thinking of anything remotely naughty. "But if things may change, we dont have too. I dont mind sleeping in my quarters. Do I have a bed and stuff? I dont think I ever slept on one before."

Dean hummed happily upon receipt of the kiss to his cheek, looking forward to a day in which he would feel proper to reciprocate such displays of affection.

Be that as it may, he was perfectly happy to hold her close to him. Dean wasn’t going to admit he was nap-happy on a good day but this really threw his love for sleep over the top!

“If sleeping together now bodes well with you, then it bodes well with me—However, you do have a wonderful bed in your quarters should ever you feel like spending the alone time."

The king shortly sprung to his feet, feeling the most carefree he’d felt since before his mother passed away when he was just a boy. “Come along,” he called cheerily, beckoning her to follow alongside him. When they were indoors again, and had reached the long hallway extending between their private rooms (as well as several others, unoccupied), he paused with a newly occurred thought.

"I don't want you to get your start here on a wrong impression... You will enter your room through the door and I shall meet you there by taking the dumbwaiter through the kitchen... See ya' again real soon, baby..."

Dean turned, looked back at her with a wink, then jogged off in the other direction.

starter for @estrangedaframian if you like it than you should have put a ring on it!

Keep reading

[myrmonarch]

I literally cried at the end of pokemon scarlet,,, it's like Arven was obviously struggling to process his feelings about his mom, trying to sort through the complicated feelings going to see her again for the first time in a long time, trying to suppress his immediate negative reaction bc he had a gut feeling something was off...

AND THEN HE WAS RIGHT SHE WAS DEAD ALL ALONG.

And the funny thing is he doesn't even know exactly when it was she passed away bc she was already so distant with him that when she passed away all it meant was the emails stopped. FUCKING EMAILS ARE U KIDDING ME SADA THATS YOUR FUCKING SON. IK ITS IMPLIED HE WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK I WAS AN ACCIDENT TOO AND MY MOM DIDNT FUCKING LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF WITH NOTHING BUT GODDAMN EMAILS AND A DOG.

It's so sad bc Arven said he hated koraidon for taking his mother away from him and he was right, just not in the way he thought. Koraidon represented her work, her research, and so of course Arven resented him! She consistently prioritized work over Arven, literally making a robot copy of herself to take care of him until he was old enough to take care of himself. And in the end work was the most important to her, even over her own life. She gave her life to save Koraidon bc he represented the most important thing in her life, her research.

AI Sada seemed to care about Arven more than the real professor ever did, and I wouldn't be surprised if any good memories Arven might have had with his mother were actually with her. She says in the end "your mother truly loved you" but I DONT THINK THATS MEANINGFUL. MAYBE SHE DIDNT HATE HIM BUT SHE STILL LOVED HER WORK MORE. ARVEN IS RIGHT YOU CANT JUST FUCKING SAY THAT AND THEN GO FUCK OFF TO THE PAST.

maybe AI Sada loved him, but in the end she was a program forced to value the research and the time machine over anything else.

Man, I just don't even know how to really feel and it seems like Arven doesn't know either. Obvs Sada was a shitty mom but she passed away before she had a chance to redeem herself. Arven obviously still longs for a connection with her, but that chance was dangled in front of his face and then cruelly ripped away.

Honestly I think it would have been better if AI Sada had jumped off the podium to sacrifice herself instead of jumping into the past. It just feels like her choosing her work over Arven all over again.

😭 man I love pokemon scarlet so muchbhhhbbsnfndjd

[i-just-like-goats]

Yoo can I request Nikolai with a platonic! younger female reader who's mother is like Nagisa's mother but she wanted a son instead? e.g. she forces her daughter to crossdress, have short hair, and basically dictates her daughter's life without letting her do what she wants. How would Nikolai react since it kinda goes against his values of freedom yknow

If this is triggering, please feel free to ignore this request.

Hii! I'm so sorry for posting this super late, but school's been testing me recently haha. I was really interested by this concept and it saddened me that I couldn't work on it sooner, sorry again! (I am so sorry if I didnt do it justice) Thank you for the request and hope you enjoy!

Nikolai Gogol x Female Reader

Summary: in the ask

Warnings: controlling mother, suggestions of killing

WC: 0.5k

Main Masterlist

Freedom was Nikolai's ultimate goal. He'd rather die than not be free, yet here you were standing in front of him, confined and still living your poor life. The exact opposite of Nikolai.

You were the object of Nikolai's disdain. He wasn't disdainful towards you as a person, no, he liked you too much to look down on you. But what he did look down on was your situation. It went entirely against his goal. And that insulted him. How could someone he was fond of be so trapped when you could be so free?

You had the freedom to walk away and leave your restrictive mother. You had the freedom to grow your hair out to look more feminine the way you wanted. You had the freedom to wear the clothes that you felt comfortable in. Yet you still came to him wearing masculine clothing, pretending to be someone you weren't. All to please the woman who birthed you.

It truly was pathetic in Nikolai's eyes. But you were someone he cared about, so that disdain turned to anger and he would happily end your mother if it meant that you could embrace yourself as a female and not a male.

You sat down next to him on the pier. You had a new haircut today. He pursed his lips but bit his tongue when he saw your defeated eyes.

"New haircut,"

"Yeah,"

You smiled at him. Even on the worst days, just being near Nikolai brought a smile onto your face.

"I don't want to talk about her. I will say though, that I did fight,"

"Really? Well I'm proud," 

Nikolai refrained from ruffling your hair and instead patted your shoulder. You beamed at him. How adorable. You were like a sister to him.

If only he could protect you and make you happy like a big brother should. He was free, so he didn't see why he couldn't set you free.

You lightly touched his clenched fist. He stared at you slightly surprised.

"Being friends with you makes me happy, and for now I just want to stay like this. I don't want to worry or to think about her. I'll take it one small step at a time, so please be patient,"

Your smile calmed him. And even though he'd go to the ends of the world to make you happy, he would never do something that you didn't want him to do. Like removing your mother's existence from the world.

"Alright. Just know that I'm always here for you,"

"I know,"

Nikolai smiled lightly as you rested your head on his shoulder. 

"Perhaps freedom will have to wait, as long as it means I can enjoy these moments with you with no worries, I'm happy,"

But beneath that smile and carefree tone, violent thoughts swirled around in his head. You were so sweet, so forgiving. So naive.

He had to set you free from your controlling mother. Life was given to you so you could be free. You were stripped of the freedom that you so clearly deserved. He felt passion burning in his chest more strongly than it ever did before.

Nikolai would set you free, no matter the cost.