#still read it and i took one bc i thought reading it would be funny and as i was walking away the guy said 'praying for your country!' and i

[vraska-theunseen]

the bible is so boring what's the ideal size of paper for rolling joints

[safetypinxtales]

400 years | Azriel

summary: drinking with your best friend takes a turn when you happen upon some of Feyre's art supplies.

words: 3.2k

warnings: steamy 18+ mdni, nudity, sex is insinuated but not described, kissing, alcohol consumption (drink responsibly), reader and azriel are drunk, making out, big dick azriel, fluff, no use of y/n, neutrally described reader/no reader description

notes: happy valentines day, here's some azriel for youuu🤍 I got the inspiration for this whilst reading this fic by @solbaby7 bc who wouldn't want to draw az like one of your French girls?? Frankly there is nothing I would like to do more. Their fic is amazing and you guys should totally check it out if you haven't already! Anyways, I'm sorry for the "shut the door" type ending, but I cannot write smut to save my life so this will have to do. Hope you enjoy!🤍

masterlist

Thud.

The sound of Azriel accidentally smacking his head on the wall as he plopped down on the sofa across from you echoed within the walls of the cabin, and you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of you. Azriel’s own shaking shoulders and scrunched up nose let you know that he couldn’t help it either. 

But that was to be expected wasn’t it? The past hour had been filled with nothing but bubbling laughter from the both of you, giggles from Az, and some very graceful snorts… also definitely from Azriel. 

The reason why he had brought you to Rhys’ cabin in the mountains was long forgotten after the two nearly empty bottles of alcohol on the table in front of you. The heartache of getting stood up on your date earlier that evening buried under a considerable amount of drinks. 

“As long as the glass is never empty in between refills, they don’t count.”

Azriel’s words from earlier came back to you, only fuelling your cramp inducing giggles. 

That had always been your motto in times like these. A consistency that had lasted centuries. 

“I can’t breathe,” you wheezed out in between fits of hysteria, your arms coming up to wrap around yourself. But your laughter didn’t die down, and neither did Azriel’s. Your uttered words only seemed to fire him on as he tipped over on his side, hand landing a slap on the armrest.

Seeing him like this, so free and relaxed, was rare. You could probably count each separate occasion on your hands. He only really let go like this when you needed it. When the urge to drink your walls down and flush the pain away seemed like the only remedy to whatever situation you were dealing with.

It was a very rare occurrence indeed. But one of your favourites. 

Azriel’s carefree giggles, that luminous light in his eyes; you swore it could make budding flowers bloom.

You sat up straight, and the situation stopped feeling so funny as you laid eyes on Azriel’s still laughing frame. The uncontrolled giggles, and the way his wings shook in time with his chest. It was enchanting, the sight of your best friend being so relaxed, so happy. 

The shadows that were usually crowding his frame were nowhere to be seen – with the exception of the lone swirl of darkness slowly snaking its way around your wrist, coming down to entwine with your fingers every now and again.

It took a couple more minutes until Azriel’s laughter had finally seized. You both sat on separate sofas, smiles stretched wide and eyes glazed over from the alcohol you had ingested, and as your breathing started to return to normal a thought struck.

“What?” Azirel asked as he leaned forward on his elbows, a curious glint in his eyes. 

“What?” You prodded back, more confused than curious, blinking a few times to try and rid the alcohol-induced veil that surrounded you. What was he on about? 

“Well,” he waved one floppy hand in your direction, “you just perked up, it was like you grew ten inches,” he exclaimed, before continuing in a slightly lowered, bemused voice, ”and that means you just had one of your ideas.”

The corners of your mouth quirked upwards as you slowly nodded your head. He was right – you had come up with an idea.

“Well, I was just thinking about how Feyre mentioned after the last time she was here,” you stood up from your seat, swaying slightly but quickly finding your balance, doing your very best to not bump into the table separating you. ��Something about forgotten art supplies.”

Like a predator sighting a prey, Azriel’s interest piqued in a moment. His razor sharp focus was on your every step as you walked towards the supply closet at the other side of the room. 

The closet was unusually dusty, a strange thing for being Rhysand’s property. He was usually very meticulous when it came to things always being spotless and presentable. But you supposed that a small, rarely used supply closet in the family cabin wasn’t a priority of his. Keeping it clean was not a good enough use of his magic. 

Luckily for you, that just made your quest easier. You just had to look for whatever was covered in the least amount of dust bunnies.

“Aha!” You whipped around to face your friend, triumphantly displaying the sketch pad and charcoals in your hands. 

Azriel’s eyebrows shot up at your revelation, grin still present on his beautiful face.

“That’s your big idea? Drawing?”

“You should know I used to be quite the whiz with the charcoals when I was younger,” you rebutted and Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. 

“I have seen your penmanship, so I will believe this talent of yours when I see it,” he muttered and you couldn’t help but gasp at the sheer audacity in his words. Your penmanship was not that bad.

Taking a few steps back in his direction with a huff, you flipped through the sketch pad in search of an unused sheet of parchment. You were gonna show him, alright…

You couldn’t help but admire Feyre’s old sketches as you went through the pages. Some you recognised as early-version sketches of paintings you had seen around the river house, and some were–

“Oh!” Your fingers froze as your eyes landed on what seemed to be an anatomical study. A very detailed, very beautiful, anatomical study of – oh my Gods. You felt your cheeks heat up. 

“Is that Rhysand?!”

At the screech in your voice and the mention of his brother’s name, Azriel shot up off the sofa to get a peek at whatever had managed to pull such a reaction from you. 

The warmth of his body radiated into your side as he peered over your shoulder at the drawing of the very naked high lord. 

You noticed him stiffening out of the corner of your eyes and then, like a tether snapping, laughter started to boom inside the walls of the cabin. With a steadying hand on your shoulder he doubled over in giggles so contagious it didn’t take long before you joined in with his hysterics. 

“No way,” he wheezed, “oh Gods – I can’t wait to tell Cassian!” 

The mere thought of how Cassian would react to such a revelation, the look on his face, had you clutching your stomach. Poor Rhys would never hear the end of it.

And by the cauldron, if you don’t wake up with rippling abs tomorrow from the amount of laughter this night had brought….

“You can’t blame her though,” you mused once you managed to get your giggles under control, “I mean, nice job Feyre.” A low whistle left you as you peered down at your clearly blessed high lord.

The laughter quieted down beside you and you raised your gaze to look at Azriel, only to be met with an incredulous look. 

“What, I’m just calling it as I see it!” You exclaimed and raised your hands in defence, charcoals and disrobed Rhysand still in your grasp.

His eyes flicked down to the sketch pad, before slowly coming back up to meet yours, that look never leaving his face.

“Oh, please.” 

The words fell from his lips with such cool confidence your smile faltered momentarily, eyebrows knotting together.

“You can’t be serious?” He asked, and when you stayed quiet he continued, “that’s nothing.”

Nothing?

From where you were standing, respectfully, it looked like everything.

“What? Like you can do better?” 

Your challenge seemed to light a spark in his eyes and time slowed as he took a step backwards, fingers coming down to grip the hem of his t-shirt.

One swift movement and his shirt was off, muscles rippling under his bronzed skin as he tossed the dark fabric on the floor, his eyes not once straying from yours. 

He kept backing up, step after torturous step, until his legs hit the sofa. The corners of his mouth tugged up in a smirk as he plopped down, arms behind his head, far leg propped up, large wings casually draped over the armrest.

“Draw me then, whiz,” he challenged, using your word from earlier, “let me be your muse.” 

The heat crawling up your neck, scorching the tips of your ears, were not solely from the liquor as you padded over to the opposite sofa. 

No, it was from something very different. Something strikingly sobering, yet oh-so intoxicating. 

You sat down and carefully placed the pad in your lap, flipping through it until you reached a blank page. You moved some hair out of your eyes and tucked it behind your ear, picked up a charcoal and brought it to the parchment – when you felt yourself hesitate. You took your lip between your teeth as you contemplated your next move. The risk. The absurdity. The excitement. 

He was your friend. Your best friend, and yet…

You lifted your gaze to find Azriel’s eyes locked to yours with such focus, such challenge. Like he was sizing up an opponent on the battlefield. 

His eyes flicked down to your hand, if only for a split second, as you gently put down the charcoal. He cocked an eyebrow when his gaze once again found yours. 

“I just,” you took a deep breath, “I just don’t think it’s really fair on Rhys, you know?” The shadow around your wrist flickered, as if sensing what you were about to do. The lines you were about to cross.

You watched as Azriel’s eyebrows drew together, and you fought the twitching of your lips as you continued, “I mean, you are still half clothed.”

With a slight shrug of your shoulders, you watched as your words sank in. How his eyes seemed to darken, the corner of his mouth raised in the smallest of smirks. 

“Is that so?” He mused, and you tried your best to level his stare. To not back down. Not shy away. 

With an incline of your head, you nodded. And watched his hand inch closer to his pants. Down past that dark trail of hair, to the laces tied together at the waistband. Watched as he grabbed a hold of the string… and pulled. 

You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t focus on anything other than his hand. How his fingers untied the font of his pants so slowly, so delicately it felt like torture. You were transfixed by his fingers. Loosening the laces, his thumb slipping beneath the waistband…

You snapped your gaze up to his face, to find him still looking at you – studying you. 

Your breath hitched in your throat at the sound of his pants hitting the floor. With your eyes still locked to his, your heartbeat pounding in your ears, you wondered what you had gotten yourself into. Here you were, in front of your fully naked best friend – about to draw him. 

Let me be your muse.

His words from earlier echoed in your mind as you tore your gaze from his face and dragged it lower, and lower, until…

Your head emptied. Your tongue felt about as dry as the beaches you had visited in Summer last year. Because the sight that beheld you was breath-taking. 

The length between his legs, standing aroused and proud, really did make Rhysand’s portrait look like nothing. 

A part of you had almost hoped that Azriel’s confidence had just been for show. That it was just his competitiveness shining through, a feat to best his brother. 

The reality?

Monstruos would have been a fitting word had the sight not compelled you so. Had it not caused you to burn for him. Crave him. 

Delicious seemed to be a better word to describe your friend. Beautiful. Mouth-watering. A thing of art.

Which is why you picked up your discarded charcoal and put it to the parchment. 

You studied the planes of his body, the hard lines, the soft skin. The muscles that could have been carved by the Mother herself. You avoided looking at his face though, instead focusing on the various scars that marred his skin, telling stories of battles and fights. Of brawls with his brothers. 

You felt him looking at you, however. He hadn’t stopped looking at you. Not since the sketch pad came into play.

It made it annoyingly hard to focus. 

The scratching sound of charcoal on paper stopped. 

“How long have we known each other?” Your voice wavered, mouth dry. You cleared your throat and raised your gaze to finally meet his. 

Azriel tipped his head to the side, contemplating, “about 400 years.”

400 years. And never before had you seen him naked. Not like this. Not splayed out like a feast, waiting to be devoured. Not with his gaze so burning you were afraid it was going to singe your clothes to ashes. 

“Right,” you mumbled, eyes flicking back down to your hands. They were smudged with soot, your thumb and index finger blackened, that lone shadow still curiously snaking around your wrist. 

That is a very long time.

Azriel seemed to notice how the little confidence you had faltered, for he straightened somewhat from his leisurely sprawl. 

“You okay?” There was only soft concern enveloping his words, a drastic change from the tension flooding the space between you just seconds before. 

It was a very long time, indeed. So why didn’t this feel wrong? 

You let out a deep breath, “yes, I think so.” 

Your answer apparently didn’t settle his worries though, because he raised from the sofa and rounded the table between you. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him as he stopped in front of where you sat. 

Only when he lowered his hand – fingers coming to rest under your chin, tipping you face up – did you meet his eye. 

The heartbreaking concern written all over his face seized your heart. The soft furrow of his brow. The slight dip at the corners of his pouty lips. The brutal softness swimming in those hazel eyes. 

It took your breath away.

“Are you sure?” He questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t trust your voice, not with the vulnerable proximity between you. All you managed was a meager nod. A small up and down bob of your head. 

His fingers tugged on your chin, and as if in a trance, you followed the wordless command and rose to your feet. 

“I need you to use your words here, sweetheart,” his voice was soft, but the underlying command was undeniable, “please.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you swallowed and managed to breathe out “I’m okay.” 

That seemed enough to ease Azriel’s concern, a breath of relief fanning across your face. 

“Good,” he murmured, almost as if more to himself.

His eyes left yours, and flicked down. To your mouth, you realised, as his thumb moved from your chin up to graze your bottom lip.

That intensity was back in his gaze, that predatory focus – all directed at you. His thumb pulled at your lip before letting go, and the shudder that overtook your body could have made the earth shake.

There couldn’t be more than a foot of space between you. 

So dangerously close.

He was your friend. 

Right? 

“400 years,” you whispered, eyes flicking down to follow the bob of his throat as he swallowed. “400 years of friendship.” 

You felt light headed. 400 years, and all could be thrown away as easy as breathing. All you had to do was take half a step.

“Three,” Azriel’s voice grumbled above you as your eyes trailed down to inspect the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

“Hmm?” Your mumble was absent minded, your thoughts being too preoccupied by the male in front of you. What he would feel like. Taste like. The sounds he would make if you dipped your head and licked up the drops of sweat beading at the center of his chest.

“That’s how long I’ve loved you. Three hundred years.”

You froze. 

The thickness coating Azriel’s voice was not something you were familiar with. Nor were the words he uttered.

Your gaze snapped up to his, scanning his features for any sign that he was, for some reason, making the cruellest joke in all of Pythian’s history. But all you found was open, unguarded truth. 

Azriel loved you?

Azriel loved you. 

The rapid beating of your heart was a stark contrast to just how very safe you felt. How right it seemed to take that half step forward. To cradle his face in your hand, the other coming to rest on that glorious chest – right over his own heart. And as you felt that wild drumming beneath his ribs echo your own, nothing seemed as easy as rising up on the tips of your toes and slotting your mouth against his. 

The kiss was tentative, like the two of you were just dipping your toes in – testing the waters. You moved your lips against his, gently, savouring the feel of his pillowy lips. The feel of his body so close to yours. How the scent of him seemed to envelop you. You savoured how easily he took all of your senses hostage. 

He was everywhere.

The sound of Azriel’s wings rustling behind him, the rapid beating of his heart in his chest, the taste of liquor on his lips – it intoxicated you in a way you didn’t know was possible. 

You stayed like that, gently exploring each other's lips, savouring each other's closeness, until you had no other choice but to break away for air. 

You pulled away only a few inches, rapid breaths fanning your faces. The pounding of your heart didn’t seize, and neither did his. You could feel every rapid beat under the hand still planted on his warm chest. 

“Your heart is beating very fast,” you whispered, voice shaky from your breathlessness. 

He swallowed, “It is.”

“So is mine,” you revealed. 

“Yes, I can hear it.”

Oh. 

“Will you kiss me again?” Your voice was so low, you wouldn’t have known he heard you if not for the strangled sound he let out. 

Or for how he grabbed you by your waist and captured your lips with his. 

This time the kiss was less gentle. This time he pressed your body against his as he devoured you. It was all tongues, and teeth, and needy gasps.

His teeth pulled on your bottom lip and you thanked the Mother he was holding you so tightly, for your knees almost gave out. A throaty groan escaped you as his hand cupped the back of your neck, angling your head upwards and deepening the kiss further.

Your own hands found his hair – and pulled. The deep rumbling in his chest and the way he moaned your name into the kiss was your undoing.

This kiss wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t tentative.

It was claiming.

And so you let him claim you. 

Your clothes were quickly discarded as you laid down on the sofa, Azriel’s body on top of yours. And as you crashed together, entangled limbs and sworn promises, you let those 400 years of friendship, of tension, of longing dictate the start of this new chapter.

A chapter of what would hopefully be 400 years of something more.

Want to be added to my taglist?

tags: @missus-shadowsinger

[jyoongim]

Hey there! My first time asking/making a request lol, but I had two separate ideas and you can just pick one or something.

First was an alastor w/ fem reader, it's mating season for red and this ones diff bc he's had his eyes on reader or smthn for a min and decides this season he's going to do his best to show off to her, lmao like "look look, I can provide and protect!" a bit intense bc it's mating season, but reader is CLUELESS until at some point it finally clicks and she's all "huh.. ohh SHIT"

Second idea was one that I thought would be funny, like so.. lucifer finds out Al likes reader and even tho he doesn't really like Al he's like " don't worry, I can definitely help with this" but he's lowkey a terrible wingman even tho miraculously it somehow helps in the end???

Again you can choose from either and end it however you want, fluff/nsfw/sfw. Or if none of this is your cup of tea then just ignore me!!

Not me on a fluff binge hehehhehe

hope you guys like it! I’ve been a bit slow to write and upload but I’ve enjoyed reading every request! I’m still taking a slight break but I try to give y’all SOMETHING. Hope y’all don’t mind!!

Lots of love-jyoongim

——————————————————————————————-

Mating season.

Usually an awful time of year that made Alastor more on edge than usual.

But something was different this year…

This mating season, the deer demon wanted a partner….

Alastor had his sights on a pretty doe and he was going to ensure that she was going to be his for the season…

—————————————————————————

You rubbed the sleep out your eyes as you greeted everyone as you took a seat for breakfast.

Pancakes. Bacon. Sausage. Eggs. Fruits.

Your stomach rumbled at the delicious smells.

”Fine hellish day isn’t my dear?” Alastor chirped as he piled food fruits and meats on your plate. You blinked at the amount of food on your plate.

”Al my stomach is only so big” you giggled causing the demon to hum as he took a seat beside you.

”A full belly makes a happy doe” he smiled as you happily ate the food.

Alastor watched as you ate, a soft purr rumbling in his chest.

”Why don’t we go for an outing dear?” Alastor suggested as you let out a burp.

You agreed.

It was rather chilly for Hell.

You and Alastor waltz around the city. You happily looked at the displays in many windows. 

You didn’t know Alastor’s agenda but you didn’t mind accompanying him.

You must have lagged behind him a tad as a demon slithered up beside you as you looked over some jewelry.

”what’s a cute thing like you doing all alone?” A deep voice asked causing you jumped, surprised.

”O-Oh hi um I’m just looking that’s all” you gave a nervous smile. Your skiddish nature took over as you took a step back. The demon advanced on you. He was big, could easily overtake you if need be.

”Why don’t I show you around? I don’t see a ring. I can show you a good time” sharp teeth smiled at you menacingly.

Your ears flattened, you might be  small but you could defend yourself. You bared your teeth at the demon making him chuckle

”Now now little lady lets not get ugly” 

You hadn’t realized he had backed you into a corner.

The demon pounced, making you screech as he pinned you to the wall.

Your ears perked as heavy static buzzed through the air. The demon didn’t seem to notice 

 “You’ll make a fine piece of ass”

Black smoke poured through the alleyway and static popped.

”That’s no way to talk to a lady”

Black tentacles dragged the demon and blood-curdling screams escaped the demon, but were quickly silenced as Alastor ripped him apart.

”mine mine mine” Alastor growled as he chomped on the demon.

You gagged as chunks of flesh flew around.

Satisfied that the distasteful demon was in his belly, Alastor looked towards you.

A large sharp claw traced your face, he was growling but his eyes were soft. He morphed to be a bit smaller and helped you up, his red eyes roaming over you.

”I’m okay Al” you reassured giving him a smile. He seemed to calm down and looped your arm with his.

”dishonorable filfth” he hissed as he made his way back to the hotel. You pouted you really wanted to buy something but you’ve had enough excitement for one day.

You looked at Alastor and tilted your head “Al your antlers”

The usual small antlers were now big and standing tall on top his head.

”Nice rack” you giggled making the red demon smirk, his chest puffing proudly.

”than-thank you for all that. I really appreciate Al” you said sheepishly.

The tall demon hummed 

“Don’t mention it my dear. What kind of man would I be if I couldn’t protect you?”

——————————————————————————

Alastor had been lingering around you since the little accident. He had growled at anyone who got too close to you.

He was very possessive and protective of you, which you thought was sweet that the demon was worried about you.

You groaned as the sun peaked through your window. You sat up and you blinked in confusion.

Flowers, breakfast, and a tiny box.

Rest up little Doe ~Alastor

Your tail wagged in happiness. You don’t know why Alastor had been so attentive but you were eating it up.

You placed the flowers in a vase and began to eat breakfast.

Your face wrinkled as you pulled a piece of meat from your teeth.

what the fuck?

It was soft and fleshy. You shuddered but ate the rest of your breakfast. You opened the tiny box and keened when you saw the bracelet you had been looking at earlier in the week.

There were cute little radio themed charms.

You quickly cleaned up and went downstairs.

Charlie and Vaggie were sitting in the lobby chatting.

You smiled and waved, your bracelet caught Vaggie’s attention.

”Hey where you get that?” The question also caught Charlie’s attention, she immediately began gushing

”Oh my! Did Alastor get that for you? Omg so cute!”

Vaggie deadpanned “Alastor have been very cozy towards you what’s that about?”

You shrugged “I don’t know but it can’t be anything bad right?”

————————————————————————————-

“I see you got my gift” Alastor said, coming behind you as you red on the couch. You smiled “Its really nice Al but why the sudden gift giving?”

Alastor smiled “well my dear its mating season”

You blinked. Mating season? What did that have to do-

OH SHIT!

Your eyes widened “Y-You’ve been…”

His lips pulled into a genuine smile “Courting you? Why of course my dear!”

His hand circled the wrist with the bracelet. He brought it up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to it.

Your body shuddered in delight and your ears flicked as he nipped at your fingers.

Your nose wrinkled at the smell of his pheromones, your tail wagging.

You let out a purr as you rubbed yourself against him and took off running, throwing a wink at him as he followed suit, giggling as he made a grab at your hips as you evaded him.

”Come and solidify your place Mr. Radio Demon” you teased slipping into his room.

A soft growl escaped Alastor as he followed you and had his shadow guard the door.

[jobean12-blog]

Promise Me

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Word Count: 1,080

Summary: Joel is not happy when he finds out you left to go search for something and didn't tell him...

Author's Note: Just a little angry (but soft always) Joel because he's overly protective and needs you to be ok. Thank you so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the sweet @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: some angsty bits here and there but only bc Joel is protective and you're his, softness, spicyness and some fluff

Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist

Joel shoots to his feet with a string of grumbled expletives, intending to go out and start his second search of the day when he hears the sound of soft footfalls on the stairs.

His heart starts to beat wildly as he waits to see who’s at the door. It opens to reveal you, looking as beautiful as ever, and with that his anger reaches its boiling point.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Your entire body startles with a strangled scream and you drop something to the floor. You back up against the wall and search for some light, finally noticing him seconds later.

“Oh my god Joel! Are you crazy?”

Some of his anger deflates at your panicked tone, but not all.

“I’m not the crazy one! Crazy would be leaving for half the damn day and not tellin’ me where you’re off to!”

With a scoff you reach down to pick up what fell from your hands. “I didn’t know I had to report all my comings and goings to you!”

His chest heaves with his labored breathing and he steps closer.

“You still didn’t answer my question,” he warns.

You stay silent as you stuff the contents of your hand into your jacket pocket, trying to skirt past him and into the small space you call home.

He’s had enough, stopping your progress with a firm hand on your waist.

He spins you around until you’re caged against the counter, his arms resting on either side of you, and leans in close.

“Where. The. Hell. Have. You. Been? I’m not goin’ to ask again darlin’.”

You get right in his face.

“I went looking for something ok! And I found it. And I’m fine.”

His eyes sweep over you, assessing you so closely you feel stripped bare.

He doesn’t move away but heaves a yielding sigh of your name.

Your expression softens with a frown and when his head drops toward his chest you tentatively reach for his jaw, pressing your fingers to the patchy scruff to lift his eyes to yours again.

“Joel?”

“I...,” he starts quietly. “I thought somethin’ happened to you!,” he says, much louder now.

His agonized eyes meet yours and after a moment’s hesitation, he speaks again.

“Believe it or not, I care about you. More than you know. The last few hours have been pure hell, darlin.’ You think it’s funny to scare the shit out of me?”

“No,” you answer quietly. “I don’t think it’s funny and I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Then why were you gone all day angel?” he demands.

“Well…I,” you begin hesitantly, then blow out a breath. “I wanted to find some crayons! I found a coloring book the other day but I have no crayons! It took longer than I expected. I thought I would be back before you even missed me.”

When he just stares at you blankly you continue talking, your voice barely above a whisper when you ask, “do you want to color with me?”

He remains quiet and you add, “I’m sorry.”

He nods and slides his hand into your pocket, carefully pulling out the worn box of crayons.

“All that for some crayons?” he muses softly.

“I love to color,” you say with a small shrug. “Don’t be mad.”

Resolute in his anger he doesn’t reply but keeps you caged in, his eyes dropping to your lips.

With tentative movements you brush the fallen hair from his forehead and trace the line of his jaw before pressing a kiss just under his ear.

“I promise I won’t do it again.”

Another kiss, this time lingering on his neck.

He can feel his defenses slipping and against his better judgement he leans into your touch, the feel of you threatening to completely topple his anger.

Your hands start to trail down his chest toward his stomach but he grasps them, dragging you into his embrace.

“Say it again,” he growls. “Promise me you’ll never leave me like that. Never again.”

“I promise Joel.”

He brings your hand to his mouth, kissing the inside of your wrist then letting the other hand slide down your back, satisfied when your breath hitches in your throat.

“Good,” he murmurs, pressing you against his body, lining you up with every inch of him.

A roll of his hips lets you feel his need and your eyes close, parting on a moan.

“Are you still mad?” you ask. “We could color? It might help you relax.”

His head dips slowly, his warm breath fanning your lips before he closes the distance and cuts off your surprised gasp with his mouth. He grabs the back of your neck and commands the kiss, only deepening it when you bite his bottom lip.

His possessive growl is followed by a question spoken directly against your parted, swollen lips.

“Do you see what you do to me?”

His breath shudders in and out, sounding loud in the quietness surrounding you. He works open the button of your jeans, then slips his big hand down the inside of your panties.

“Next time you need somethin’ you come to me,” he says. “I’ll give you everything you need.”

Your head rolls back and your eyelashes flutter against your cheek, your breathy affirmation driving his fingers right where you want them.

He leans down and brushes his lips to the shell of your ear.

“I protect what’s mine.”

The next morning, by the soft glow of the rising sun, you sit on the makeshift bed, your back to Joel’s chest and your knees pulled up with the coloring book resting on them.

“I forgot how small these things are.”

You study his hand. Long, thick fingers dwarfing the green crayon held between them.

“Nah. Your hands are just really big,” you purr. “And I lo…”

“Yeah, yeah. I know angel. You love ‘em.”

“I love, love, love them!” you exclaim, feeling his light chuckle.

You snuggle closer to his warmth and rest your head back along his chest.

“You have to stay inside the lines,” you playfully chide.

“Well, it’s not that easy from this position!” he shoots back.

“I can move over here…”

He tightens his grip, not allowing you to move an inch out of his arms.

“Don’t. I need to keep you close.”

“Forever?” you ask with a giggle.

He gently grasps your chin and tilts your head back to meet his eyes, his expression fierce.

“Forever angel.”

@hiddles-rose @lizette50 @kmc1989 @lorilane33 @blackwidownat2814 @littleseasiren

[lufyuu]

Every time I read one of your blogs, I wonder what your OCs would be like with a reader who is already married (her husband is probably cheating) and the reader is super romantic (the very affectionate type) Charismatic and affectionate How would they react?

Thanks for reading, we love you 💖❤️

I'm not sure if you read the rules as I have stated that I don't write for fem readers, bc of that, this will be gn reader!

Eun Hyunwoo

Considering you're a married idol, you have to watch who you interact with as people would probably overanalyze your interactions with other people. Even if you're just being friendly, they could misinterpret it as you liking them. Because of that, the friendship between you and Eun Hyunwoo stays that way, just a friendship. Well this is until Eun Hyunwoo was taking pictures of you that he realized your husband was on the couch texting someone while smiling. He didn't think much but couldn't help but to take a small peak at the contents of the chats. That's how he found out you had an unfaithful husband. Hyunwoo wanted to tell you but didn't want to be the reason your marriage failed which is why it was only until the affair was publicized that he finally told you. Of course you were heartbroken, considering how you're already dealing with divorce papers and lawyers, the news that he had been cheating on you for longer than you thought made everything worse. Ever since then, Hyunwoo was the only person you could turn to for comfort. It was partially because he felt bad that he made you feel worse but also partly because he had seen how sweet you were and wanted to get to know you better. After a few months, you eventually started to move on from the whole ordeal. It was then that Hyunwoo and you started going out as more than friends. Each second he spetn time with you, he kept thinking 'how could anyone cheat on them' or 'their ex fumbled' because of how sweet you are. You remember his favorite restaurants, took care of him whenever he was overworked, etc. You had a way with your words, everytime you complimented him, it felt as if he was being complimented by the Gods themselves. Whenever he's around you, he can feel his cheeks get red due to your actions and words alone. To this very day, he still doesn't understand why your pathetic excuse of an ex cheated.

River Sterling

Considering that you're both still in Uni, I'll take it as a boyfriend situation. Nothing can get past River, especially not rumours. He hears everything that goes down in the walls of the Uni you both go to. Including when your now ex was kissing and feeling up 10 different girls in the same janitor's closet. He didn't care about it at first as he didn't know who the hell was pleasuring all these girls but once he found out it was your 'boyfriend'? That's a whole nother story. He wouldn't tell you directly, he set up a whole scenario so you could find out for yourself! The expression on your ex's face and one of his side chicks' were hilarious to River. What wasn't funny was you sobbing uncontrollably. He had thought you'd at least swing at the guy but you didnt. You were in shock and decided to flee the place. River felt guilty at that point and decided to grab your wrist as you were leaving the building. He hated the expression on your face. That day, River did everything he could to cheer you up. Gosh he was even thinking of eliminating your ex for you if you allowed it. River really fell for your charisma and personality. He wasn't used to real affection being given to him without asking anything in return. The more he was with you, the more he fell inlove with you. The two of you would always hold hands on campus, he doesn't hide your relationship like a certain someone once did. Whatever you want, you'll get it and River will make sure of it.

Liu Zihao

I honestly don't know how this trope would work with Liu Zihao seeing as the reader is depicted as a heartless serial killer in his story but let's say you're not heartless in this au and you have a partner in crime who is also your husband. The two of you have been working together for a long time and have great synergy. That is until the one time you two almost got caught, he decided to abandon you for his own safety. This ended up in you having to face not just any jury but Lord Liu himself. You were sure your spouse would come to fetch you sooner or later but he never showed. Out of rage, you decided to reveal where the two of you had been hiding all these months to avoid getting caught. What you didn't expect was being given a special sentencing by Liu Zihao. Being stuck in a luxurious house wasn't that bad afterall. Honestly, after several days being in his home, you warmed up to him. His personality reminded you that of a cat's. Sometimes a dog's too. Even if he didn't say anything, you could feel his eyes on you everytime he was around. Depsite all this, you were almost always bored so you decided to pick up a hobby. Baking and cooking. After testing out a few recipes, you fed some of your cooking to Zihao who was thrilled you cooked for him! Well technically not for him but he doesn't know that, let a man be happy. You were honestly like a house spouse at that point. Not that Zihao minded, he loved tasting your crafts, they always tasted amazing to him. The two of you became something akin to lovers without even mentioning to to one another. At least in Zihao's eyes you're the one for him. Maybe it was because you had lived almost a whole 5 years being married that you treated Zihao as if he was your husband. Your affection made Zihao fell ever so inlove with you. On that topic what ever happened to your husband? Well don't worry about him, he was found guilty for all the crime you did and also a few infidelity crimes. He was executed on the spot of course. Nothing will get in the way of the two of you!

Han Minho

While you were in the military, your husband decided his dick wasn't being tend to enough and stuck it into another person's hole. He did this while you were none the wiser. Even when you sent him letters, he rarely ever read them. Instead, your letters would be thrown in the trash bin next to the bed he was fucking a woman in. You thought he was busy so you brushed it off. Maybe it's something the two of you would have to talk about after you get discharged but until then, you should focus on your duties. Although Minho found you attractive, he didn't act on his feelings knowing you were already married. He was a better man than that. However, when you were discharged early and decided to surprise your husband...Let's just say you came out of the house divorced. You couldn't believe the man that vowed to love you until death would be fucking another woman in your bed no less. While you were getting coffee, eyes swollen from crying the night before, you bumped into someone you didn't expect. Han Minho. He noticed your red eyes and immediately asked what was wrong. He didn't understand how you went from being such a sweet and happy person to having red eyes from crying too much. The two of you sat down as you told him what had happened. The two of you never had a close relationship but you really needed to get the whole thing off your shoulders. Minho understood what you were going through. He offered for you to stay at his place for a bit. Better than whatever hotel you had decided was better than the house you shared with a cheater. It was then that the two of you started going out more. You practically spent every moment from waking up to going to sleep together. You offered to pay some bills but Minho said there was no need for that, he had everything covered. As repayment for not only taking care of you and hearing you out, but also letting you stay, you gave him gifts every week according to what he liked. You noticed even the smallest thing. Like how he would look at a piece of cake for a bit too long. Next morning, he would find the cake in the fridge waiting for him to bite into it. The two of you felt as if this was the life you both wanted. To feel seen and loved by one another. Han Minho will make sure your ex doesn't ever come near you ever again. He'll love you even if death eventually parts the two of you.

Xu RenFeng

Being apart of royalty and the second born of the imperial palace, you were married to a known and trusted general of the family. Renfeng, being the spy he was, knew the two of you were married. He admired you from afar, your personality and smile made his day even if they weren't towards him and rather, towards a man undeserving of your love. He wanted a reason to steal you away and a reason was given to him alright. Renfeng had spotted your unfaithful husband in a brothel with 4 women all up in his personal space, touching him in places one shouldnt ever unless they were married. The general not only stayed still but even encouraged it. He was about to slice his throat but didn't want to cause a scene. Renfeng waited until the general exited the place, satisfied with his infidelity and sliced his head on the spot. You woke up the next day to screams in the palace. Not knowing what was wrong, you got up quickly to see what the fuss was all about, only to see your husband's severed head stuck on the spikes of the outerwall. It had a note on it, 'undeserving of your love'. It seems whoever planted this clearly wanted you to see it, and the note. They wanted your attention. Well Renfeng did get what he wanted after kidnapping you and taking you to where he thought you would be 'safe'. His definition of safe is definitely contradicting with yours. It'll take you some time to be affectionate towards your kidnapper but he'll be on the receiving end of your affection soon enough, he just has to play the waiting game.

~~

Honestly this was a bit too long😥

[girl-named-matty]

They get drunk - Modern AU

They get drunk and text you Tags: Fluff, chaos, talks of alcohol and hangovers Paring: Sebastian x reader, Ominis x reader, Garreth x reader, Leander x reader, Amit x reader, Natty x reader, Imelda x reader, Poppy x reader.

a/n: this is all for giggles and stuff, don't take any of this seriously lol. Also I have never been drunk and never plan on being drunk so I have no idea what its like, I just thought this would be funny LOL. So, just keep that in mind while reading :))

Hope you enjoyed! Sorry this one took so long, I've been busy! taglist in the comments bc tumblr is still giving me a hard time 🥲

[bamsywrites]

And Comes Dawn pt 13

Ship: Sauron/Halbrand x Reader

Plot: It's all for his Sweet one.

Word count: 2.5k

Tags: vomiting, manipulation, alludes to executions, sauron is a weird dude

Notes: this isn't super heavily edited bc im lazy. I wanted to write this part because ofc angst but I wanted to do the reveal before I fucked around with annatar and s2 stuff. I'll go back and forth now between before reveal and after.

Leave a tip if you want.

Halbrand sat on the bed you shared, water dripping from his hair and picking at the skin of his palms. It was a habit he had picked up from you. The moment you walked into the room, you could tell there was something on his mind. You waited for him to speak first, knowing that he would tell you his thoughts without you bothering him with questions. You didn't want to overwhelm him, after all. You simply waited for a few moments before he spoke.

“Have you seen Galadriel?” He asked, his voice was different than usual. Deeper. Almost darker. He didn't look at you, his eyes focused intently on a place on the floor.

“I have not.” You shook your head and approached him. “My love, what is bothering you so?”

Halbrand wet his lips, “Galadrel has discovered my secret.” He must have suspected your confusion, for he continued. “I am not who she thinks. I am not who you think. I am no King of the Southlands.”

You sat next to him on the bed, your brow furrowed in confusion, but you took his hand and held it in yours, lacing your fingers with his. His thumb fidgeted with the ring on your finger, a subtle way of showing you he was there.

“You do not have to be anything you do not wish to be. You know I will be by your side, whatever path you travel.”

He closed his eyes, shaking his head, “Sweet one, you misunderstand.”

It seemed that he was trying to find words, but they would not come. You waited for him to speak, but a gnawing had begun in your stomach, an anxiety that started to become overwhelming. You squeezed his hand to remind him you were there, to remind him you cared but also to release the tension that was building inside of you.

“I am not the descendant of a king. I am not a man called Halbrand. I am not even a man.”

You furrowed your brow further as your mind swarmed with the possibilities of what he was saying. Unfortunately, none of your most outlandish thoughts could even scratch the surface of the revelation that was to come.

“Who are you then?”

“I've had many names,” He still could not bring himself to look at you. His palm was red at where he had been picking his skin. His voice changed again, to the most vulnerable you'd ever heard from him.

“My first was Mairon. The Admirable. But the one you know me by, that all know me by, is Sauron.”

The world stopped for you in that instance. Your ears started to ring, and you felt sick. Everything your father had told you, every story you'd heard from the elves, or read in the books filled your mind all at once. Sauron the Deceiver, your father had called him the Deliverer as he would bring swift and violent justice to the elves and bring peace. The stories talked of his face changing. Of his ability to be whatever the person he was deceiving needed most. You could still see the handiwork of him and his master scared into the landscape of your home. You'd read of scores of elves and men and all forms of life that he had willfully murdered in pursuit of power.

That wasn't Halbrand.

Not your Halbrand.

You shook your head and scoffed, letting go of his hand. “This isn't funny, Halbrand.”

He finally looked towards you, reaching for your hand once more and frowning when you pulled it away. “That is not my name. You know it to be true. Search your soul.”

“No, you're Halbrand. You are not him. You're not the great deciver. You are my Halbrand.” You rubbed your hands against your knees, trying to rationalize what he was saying.

Perhaps he was sick. Perhaps the fumes of the forge were affecting him. Or his wound wasn't fully healed, and the enemy poison was altering his mind.

“You are not entirely wrong, my dear. I am yours and I have never decived you. Not like I have others. I have never lied to you, not about more than my name. I just omitted certain truths.”

You felt bile rise from your stomach to your throat, “No. No, you said your father was a blacksmith.”

“Aule, yes. Though he wasn't a father in the way that you think of a father.”

You swallowed thickly as your mind reeled with all the things he'd said of his family and past. His falling out with his ‘father’ and his uncle. If he was Sauron, truly, there was only one being that could be.

“Then your uncle….are saying your uncle was…” the name wasn't able to pass your lips.

“Morgoth. Again, not exactly the truth but as close as you could understand,” He spoke for you, and you're startled up and off the bed, pacing and shaking your head.

This was not possible. You could not believe this.This was your Halbrand. The man you loved. The man who had just a week prior made his intentions of marrying you known. You were to be married. You were absentmindedly fidgeting with the ring he had given you, spining it around your finger as you paced.

“You cannot be he, he is dead. The uruk, Adar, said he killed him. There have been no signs of him for an age.”

He sighed, watching your pacing form. He seemed distraught almost. He could not feel anything like that if he was truly who he said he was. Sauron would not despair at the thought of your turmoil. Sauron would have no purpose in manipulating you. You could bring him nothing of gain.

Unless this was a reward for your fathers deeds. That small voice crept into your mind, and you did your best to push it the back. He was ill, that's why he was making this claim.

“He left me for dead, and I stayed in that place for many lifetimes. I was neither dead nor alive, simply there. As dead as a being such as I can be. I wasted and waited, and suddenly, I felt solid. I could sense my surroundings. I could move, if only barely. It was a mystery. By all accounts, I should have remained in that purgatory forever.”

His fingers grasped yours, and the room around you disappeared, changing until it was a village. Or what was left of a village. Homes were burning, and the sounds or screams filled the air.

“No.” You shook your head, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. You clamped them shut and clasped your hands over your ears to drown the sound of the screams, but the smell of smoke and burning flesh filled your senses. You shook your head over and over. You wished the sight and sounds to be gone. You could not deny it now. No man could cause travel such as this.

He'd transported you to the night your family slaughtered the elves.

The night he'd regained just a semblance of his power.

Suddenly, you could sense light behind your eyes, and you were back on the raft at sea. Upon opening your eyes, his appearance had changed to the dirty rags he'd worn when you were stranded.

“It felt like days, compared to the millenia I spent as nothing, but I have recently found out it was years. Years of gathering my strength to take on this form. 15 years, to be exact.”

Your lip tremebed, shaking your head. “No. No, that's not true. That's not…no.” You were despretatley looking for an answer. “My father did not…no…”

“He did. I am indebted to him and his sacrifice. Not just for bringing me back but for you.” He approached you, the raft shaking under you with his movements.

You backed away from him, the bile rising in your stomach, and suddenly, you were retching. Your body bent in half as you vomited into the sea. You could feel him inside you. His love felt like sludge, weighing down your soul and moving through your veins. This could not be real, but you knew it was. He was too good to be true. He was exactly what you needed when he landed in your life. You were not worthy of the love of a king.

But it all made sense now.

There was nothing special about you. Not truly. He wanted his domination and control and power. You were inconsequential to that. He simply chose you because he knew who you were. This was some reward for your father. Tears pricked at your eyes.

You thought you were special. You thought this was love..

“Is it really so bad?” He spoke, placing a hand on your back. You hated how it felt. It was heavy and hot, and you wanted it off. You felt violated.

“I guess it is.” He answered his own question, his fingers wrapped around your chin and forced you to look at him.

“I did not deceive you. I love you. You are the only thing I have ever loved. I told the elf I would place a crown on her head, and that is true, but only because it would assist my true goal. To give the peoples of Middle Earth peace. To give you peace and safety, and stability. Your safety is more precious than any crown or title. All I do is for you. You are precious to me.” his fingers caressed your cheeks, and he smiled softly.

His smile made you sick.

“You mean to enslave my people.”

“Enslave? No. I will free them from the binds of poverty and war and famine.”

“By what means will you free them? It is not freedom if it is force.”

“Are you not listening?!” He boomed, lightning crashed behind him, and thunder boomed. The waves crashed over the raft. You yelped and flinched, closing your eyes tight again.

Once again, the world around you shifted. You were back in your room. Your lip trembled as you looked at him, tears falling from your eyes.

“Sweet one, I'm sorry. Please. You need not fear me, sweet one. The world should fear but not you. Never you.”

You kept backing away from him. You did not know what to think. He was the villain of your history, og all the free people's history. He was evil. He was darkness. He was plauge and death and deciet. He could only destroy.

“It was all fake.”

“No! No. Don't you see, the only good in me is you.” He followed you until you were backed into a corner, your fingers splayed over the cold material of the wall. This is a reminder that this room was real.

You watched him for a moment, your mind replaying through every memory, but they were distorted now, as if you were watching a play. Your mind was reeling. Just hours early, you'd been in this room with him, talking of your wedding and cuddled into his chest.

“You do this all for me, but you must now I can never be by your side as long as you intend to destroy.” You spoke with a sense of courage you had only just began to develop. Your heart was breaking, but you would not break in front of him. If he were to kill you…..

“Kill you? Do you think I mean to kill you? I could never kill you. In fact, I seek the opposite. I need you. If you can't be by my side, I must know you exist in this world, or I will be driven into madness!”

“How do you read my thoughts?” Your voice was quiet, terrified.

“Because you trust me. I trust you. I respect you. I never look into your mind unless I must. It is not so much reading your thoughts as it is being able to feel it.”

You shook your head, eyes closed tight.

“Do you truly insist on staying with the elves? Do you truly think they will not suspect you to have a hand in all this? That they won't do to you what they did to your family."

As he spoke, the room changed once more.

You were in an elven courtyard. Three men stood at the center. You could see where a little girl stood and watched confused and alone. You could hear Elronds pleas that this was abhorrent to make you watch, that he could not stay silent.

The memory froze. Your eyes looked upon your father for the first time in years. Tears dripped down your cheeks.

“You never saw it. Elrond, ever the soft hearted, took you away, but you could hear it. The sound of your brother screaming. The crunch of their bones as they fell. How they had to take a sword to your uncle because he wouldn't die. Do you think you will be saved from their fate?”

You stayed silent, your jaw tight as you looked ahead and away from him.

“Look at me! Do not ignore me! I am trying to save you!” Lighting cracked again. His voice took a terrible tone as if he spoke from the depths of the abyss.

You shook your head, tears pouring from your eyes now. “We were supposed to have a family.”

~

Your words were soft, quiet, and broken. It was enough that the fire inside of him calmed. The scene around you changed once more, and he simply looked at you.

His sweet one.

You were beautiful. He always had loved beauty and perfection, and you were both. And now you were scared, and he was the cause. He was never to be the cause, only to protect. It had frustrated him at first, infuriated that he could not seem to wish you harm, and if he ever did hurt you, he would apologize and feel guilt. He had hated it, but now, it was part of him.

He had two parts now, it seemed. The darkness and what little light he had left. The light was dying. He knew it. He could not stop the pursuit of these rings of control and power to bring peace and prosperity. He had to remake the world for you as well for his own selfish ambition. But the pursuit of these rings would make him truly unredeemable. It would destroy that last thread of good.

It was worth it. To protect you,anything was worth it. He would keep you safe, no matter the cost, no matter the loss of life. But that small part of him that was still a semblance of good, the part of him that you had resurrected, told him he could not force you with him. He could not clip your wings and force you in a cage. You had to come because you wanted to, you had to join him of your own will.

And you would, after the prosperity and peace, you would see it all to be worth it.

“I will never force you with me. I have never forced anything upon you. You will make that choice when you see the results.” He pressed a kiss to your head. “And when that happens, we will have our family.”

“I will fight against you.”

“You will lose, but you wouldn't be the woman I love if you didnt fight at first” Another kiss, and then he looked over your features as if committing every one of them to memory.

“This is all for you, sweet one. Do not forget it.”

[saym0-0]

grah Thinking About my tma x mechs au again,,, Lyf is there bc im obsessed with the aus where they reunite with the mechs,, this wasnt meant to be the purpose of the post but heres a lyf doodle im still trying to figure out their design:

i dont like much of it but the bifrosty bits are awesome,,, ANYWAYS where was i,,

rest is under the cut bc my ramblings got long

ashes toy soldier and jonny were blasted down to earth for some reason against their will by the other mechs (probably just for fun) and toy soldier immediately wandered off and found (was found by?) the stranger; ashes and jonny are having a competition to see how many fucked up things they can do without anybody catching on and discovering who they are. they did not anticipate the sheer amount of supernatural stuff on this planet that Nobody Talks About

jonny refers to the way he dresses as the archivist as his lyf cosplay

also in this au jonny uses he/him but as jon uses they/them,, i said this in a previous post but in case anyone's confused about how i refer to him in this post

back to toy soldier with the stranger, nikola finds them and is like 🫵 ur just like me fr and like. idk if she yoinks its voicebox (third hand smh) or if she just has a different one but its uh,, i lost my train of thought hang on

actually i think it would be funnier if it somehow took nikola's place on accident. maybe it yoinks her mannequin head and cool outfit (it likes fun uniforms!) and everyone just believes it.

idk man i thought it would be funny if the two animate models played by jessica law were somehow stuck in the same body, but reading up on toy soldiers backstory my idea wouldnt work,,

maybe toy soldier comes to earth way earlier, back when nikola is made and whatshisname mr orsinov models nikola after them and they're kinda just there from the beginning,,, i need to relisten to nikola's statement

sorry this has devolved into me thinking out loud in text post format but like. im having fun

[signedaiko]

A thought just came to my mind of what if the DJD came across a human that regenerated? Like they tried killing them in every way possible and the human is just. Still there. They humans over here cackling while getting shocked by Kaon because they thought of something funny. Just some silly little shenanigans with an immortal human who also happens to be petty and insufferable :)

On a side note reading ur name felt like catching the familiar scent of something nostalgic bc that’s what I named my favorite doll when I was younger

Decepticon Justice Division [MTMTE]

In which the DJD finds a human far, far away from their planet, that they just cannot seem to kill.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Human | Unaligned.

No matter how brutal, how totally destroyed you are, even to the atom, you will slowly repair your body

It's your hellish eternity, and you feel every part of it, but it is your reality

It wasn't that bad when you first started; you knew you could handle the destruction of being without air, so you took to space where fewer harms could come your way

Or so you thought

Everything changed when you ended up thrown into the war between the Cybertronians, facing chemical agents that'd dissolve your skin, pierce your links, and disintegrate you

But worst of all was when the Decepticon Justice Division found you, specifically Vos

The one you learned to be a scientist was nothing but a sadistic organic-hater that made sure every mix of elements was tested on your stomach, sliced open for display

They all took joy in your pain and even more in your predicament

It was your worst nightmare and their wet dream

Well, it would be bad if you hadn't long since rewired your pain sensory areas into a dead-ended lump in your brain

The worst you got was splitting headaches, but those were nothing compared to what you'd faced

As Vos cuts you open for the thousandth time, as Kaon shocks you with his new highest voltage, you could only crack a smile

Oh yes, these people took such good care of you; they were always pushing you towards improvement, always testing your limits

Some don't mind it, but others, like Kaon, it infuriates him

How many times could you recall being strapped to his chair, shocked till he had no juice left as he tried to convince himself he could outdo your little tricks

And yet, nothing

They keep you because you're a fun toy, and Vos 'claims' his ownership of you, and you'll stay their experimental toy

You're just as much of a psychopath as them, if not worse, so you'll fit right in with the circus of freaks as their first-ever masochist

Author's Note - That is such a specific thing to say about my name but also so sweet and so me-core your'e amazing! Thank you for telling me!!!

Bonus: Y/N sitting on Kaon, a giant robot:

[kamig4mes]

We need friendship headcannons with kisski and hanma it can be seperated or as an trio,you can make one platonic and one as an love interest i dont really care!!!

I'm still excited that you made this request, anon bc this duo has been making eyes at me these days. I thought about kisakixhanmaxfem!reader. I'm so sorry for the wait!! I hope u like it, nd enjoy it!

#pov: friendship headcanons with Kisaki and Hanma (platonic/love interest)

★ warnings: fem!reader, realistic hc, fluff, funny, friendship, love interest, established relationship, platonic facts, school mention

→ a/n: H&K = Hanma and Kisaki

—friendship (+ platonic facts)!

The three go and return together wherever they go, both boys coming to pick you up at the entrance of your house and leaving you at the same even when classes are over! This pair makes sure you're in one piece by the end of the day.

The races to determine the unnecessary speed between you are never lacking. A few meters to enter the school, Hanma challenges them to a race to see who gets there first and you accept, and as always you do the countdown.

"Alright! in your marks, read-.. HUH?!

And before you know it Hanma took the dirty lead by shooting out first, taking the lead and leaving you biting the dust

"STOP, STUPID CHEATER!"

You run in search of him screaming complaints between laughs trying to reach him while Kisaki just keeps walking at his pace like the normal person he is, catching up with them minutes later.

At least three times a month they attend karaoke together. They try to use all the power of friendship possible to convince Kisaki to go together, trying not to upset him with his nonsense the previous days. After two attempts, the blonde accepts, renting the most minimal time rate they have to stop listening to the stormy concerts that you and Hanma give it.

It's natural for Hanma to bother you every day, almost as if that's his mission in this life. Sometimes it makes you very angry, is Kisaki who intervenes asking to stop. But once both stoics made you cry out of pure rage so you stopped talking to them for a whole week. They both spent that time following you around in silence and apologizing by buying your favorite sweets.

Hanma accompanies you to almost any nonsense you can think of, until it puts the three of them in a bad position. The bicolor loves the adrenaline rush, but if he feels that his asses can end up in difficult problems to handle he absolutely aborts the mission.

H&K are your protectors. Whether with intimidating looks/postures or verbal threats, both guys make it clear to everyone that you are their best friend and they can't try any moves on you. Yes, that's the way they are.

That's why Valentine's Days were really sad for you because, for some alien reason, you didn't receive any gifts or letters that day. Much less declarations of love or anonymous confessions. NOTHING. And the reason is that in reality, H&K were furtively responsible for eliminating (not literally) anyone who tried to make any move on you regarding the date, the two allying themselves to scare away and intimidate.

"I'm sorry, brat" explains the bicolor blocking the way to the classroom to the boy one grade below you "this girl is already busy"

"B-but I-"

"And don't try anything behind our backs, or you won't want to regret it later," Kisaki muttered, making the poor trembling boy pass out loud saliva when he clattered his knuckles noisily.

This is how your two best friends were always there to comfort you and fill that void of the day with walks or gifts only from them.

The three of them would run away from classes, but only when they are extremely bored of listening to the teacher.

H&K care a lot about your health, even if it doesn't seem like it. They offer you water or some nutritious drink, buy you breakfast and even make sure that you don't consume a lot of fried foods or sweets.

Their jobs are close to each other, so it's easy for the three of them to meet at a specific place and then stop by for a drink or just walk home.

—(+) platonic facts!

The first time H&K saw you wearing a swimsuit for a beach meet-up that you organized with your friends, they gasped. Kisaki felt that her face would explode because of how good your body looked while Hanma quickly glanced at you every time you passed by him.

H&K are the kind of guy in love who contemplates you at every opportunity he can. Kisaki by his observant and discreet nature manages to spy without being seen by anyone while Hanma does it blatantly without caring if it's very obvious or not. You actually caught him once seeing you, and his reaction was to let out a little giggle and look away when he realized that you caught him. You could notice the soft blush on his cheeks.

They enjoy taking pictures of you doing random things. Especially Hanma (he has a whole album of you and kisaki on his phone), and only occasionally Kisaki warns for a good take.

"Take out your phone, Shuji"

"Huh? And for what the hell-?"

"Look over there, is y/n"

Kisaki points at you covertly, and the two-tone nods, catching his friend's intention as he quickly pulled out his phone. Seconds later the flash does its job. They both smile seeing you captured on the screen.

"Good angle" celebrates the blonde "very cute.."

"Yea' she looks fcking beautiful"

Yes, whether it's taking you or going to pick you up, taking a walk to the park for a while and things like that, at first H&K keep track of which one of the two has to share time with you. That's why it's not uncommon for you to feel that they take turns.

Kisaki would leave you a lot of small gifts throughout the week anonymously because he is embarrassed to deliver them to you in person. At first you thought it could be a stalker with ninja skills because you couldn't catch him in the act, but soon (and in the dumbest way) you found out it was the blond one (I have a little pov for this hc, I'll upload it after this!)

—love interest!

Hanma calls you "baby" most of the time, and would use adorable nicknames like "babydoll" or "fcking princess" just to annoy you. I'm not sure with Kisaki, I think "honey" might work for him. But both of them, without a doubt, call you "darling" a lot of the time.

Hanma, unlike Kisaki, is more concerned about your feminine needs. I feel like he has a sharper sense for that kind of thing. On the other hand, you can safely entrust the financial part to Kisaki because that man will cover all your whims.

Maximum princess treatment with some moments of rough love (the latter courtesy of Shuji Hanma). They like to pamper and pamper you a lot, just allow yourself to enjoy it.

On dates YES OR YES the three of you go together. And the one who is usually planning spontaneous outings is Hanma. For more important events that require more planning (such as special dates) Kisaki takes care of, for the rest of the outings/appointments he just gets carried away by the rhythm of you two.

Their plans for an intimate afternoon is to warm up the three of them together between sheets and sweets while watching eternal marathons of movies or documentaries (hanma falls asleep after two films and you always wake him up before the marathon ends so that Kisaki doesn't notice).

Their first date as official couples was at an amusement park by your decision. It was quite an exhausting day for the three of them but they would be able to repeat it a thousand more times if with that they manage to see the exact definition of happiness in each other's smiles again.

When you and Hanma start a tickle fight, you run away in the direction of Kisaki's private studio hiding behind him because he never allows Hanma to enter that place. And you know it very well. That place is your safe zone. But once you take one foot out of there your immunity ends, and Hanma makes sure to get revenge by cornering you between the sofa and him with no escape option. Kisaki gives a soft smile when he hears them laughing in the distance.

At the same time, you and Hanma are good partners, teaming up as an unconscious act to make fun of anything Kisaki says or does.

Broadly speaking Kisaki in a refined, calculating, thoughtful, more elegant and formal type than any ordinary person. In this way he manages to keep his surroundings (and his inner world) under control and at peace. But unfortunately Kisaki can not go against the hyperstimulated souls of their partners. So when a situation in which his presence is completely protagonist and necessary gets stressed. Specifically because the ideas you and Hanma come up with can become terrifyingly exhausting for him. Going to fairs, concerts, parties, birthdays and similar events these are some examples.

Kisaki harbors a buttery side that melts faster when she's resting in your arms, whether you're stroking her hair or listening to her thoughts out loud. Not with this he says that he loves you more than Hanma, only you transmit to him a greater warmth and security compared to the noisy and annoying immature actions of the languid boy. Hanma, in turn, gets cheesier when she's alone with you. He feels that he can release his more cloying cuteness with you because he knows that you tolerate that kind of treatment more, and that you are not going to reject him or get irritated like it happens when he tries to be the same way with Kisaki. Still, none of you have preferences, all three of you love each other equally.

Hanma shows them how much he loves them and how important they are to him by spending quality time together: walks in the fresh air, outings to eat, watching movies at the cinema or at home, playing with board games/video games, etc. Anything that allows him to share his time with the two of you he will put into practice. Kisaki, on the other hand, applies physical contact: hands on the waist, caressing sessions, linked fingers, kisses on random areas of the body, massages, etc. In these ways Kisaki tries to convey to both of you all the love and appreciation he feels for you two, showing you a side that he doesn't have with anyone else.

Of course, this pair is a dangerous bombshell of jealousy and possession. Oh yeah, anyone who tries to step out of the line or even flirt with you won't have any functional organ or limb left to tell about it.

They also don't like to share you with others, no matter if it's your family or friends. Hanma is the most impatient and impulsive of the three, he won't even spend two hours when he's already holding your hand to take you with him and get you out of wherever you are without letting you properly excuse yourself. Kisaki is more patient and serene, entertaining his mind with other things until he can't stand it anymore and demands that you return by means of a call or he just goes to look for you. You better not ignore this couple when jealousy gets the better of them, or you're not going to have a great time afterwards.

©2024 ／ ENJOY ♡ — aaaand I was finally able to finish it, I was too busy with classes 🥲🥲 I'll keep writing more about this trio eventually. Thank u for all your love and patience 🙌🏻 tkm

[peachenle]

captain’s log

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: college!au | fratboy!au | sexual themes (minors DNI)

word count: 8.7k

warnings: lots of drinking, profanity, a tiny bit of sexual content, suggestive language, sunghoon biceps,  y/n is a serial party-goer, fake frats, lots of semi-unhumorous banter, ft le sserafim bc i needed more characters

༄࿔˚✧ synopsis: “If you’re trying to be subtle about checking me out, it’s really not working.” You were too drunk to care, and met his eyes, “Yeah, yeah you caught me. Life’s more fun without subtlety.”

The captain's log is a form of record-keeping used by sailors to keep track of incidents, such as weather, ship sightings, and any other information about the vessel and her passengers.

CAPTAIN’S LOG ENTRY 11:30 pm please I beg of a crumb of pussy

read the continuation of captain’s log here.

It took you approximately 46 seconds to sober up after the first whoop of the sirens outside the house. Red and blue lights peeked through the cardboard panels that were haphazardly stuck in between the blinds of the windows. From the continuing booming music, the thundering steps of the dance floor, and the bumping bodies, you realized you were one of very few to realize that the party was getting rolled. And you did not want to be caught in the mess of policemen shining flashlights into mascara stained faces.

You dragged your friend Yunjin out from the middle of the dance floor, much to her disappointment as she was swaying with one of the execs in the fraternity, and snuck onto the back porch. You two stumbled into a few couples who also had their fun interrupted by the sirens. Yunjin peeked around the side of the house and groaned, “It’s always the NKT parties that get shut down so early. Heeseung and I were finally dancing!”

Seeing her pouty face, you laughed, “And he’s literally the only reason we keep coming back. Their good music cannot justify the sins that occur in that household.” While NKT had some of the wildest hazing stories, their alumni donated well to your university, so it was easy to overlook.

You and Yunjin were crouched by a bush in the house’s side yard. She whispered, “Liar, you were so into President Jeno before…”

You snickered and responded, “Okay, and I still am, but he never comes to parties anymore. Plus, you did not just call him president.”

She laughed. “That’s who he is!”

The music shut off abruptly and you rolled your eyes after hearing screams from the partygoers. That meant most of the officers were likely already in the house yelling at kids to leave, so you and Yunjin quietly went through the side fence of the house to make it into the street.

Frat row wasn’t too far from your shared dorm with Yunjin, so you two opted to trudge through the neighborhood in your short skirts rather than call a taxi. It wasn’t until your head hit the pillow that you realized you were still very drunk. The you of tomorrow morning would not be happy. 

Parties weren’t your thing until Yunjin joined a sorority this year and dragged you to come to a few, and you realized just how fun it was to be the messy one for once. You thought this was her way of trying to lull you into her sisterhood, and whether it actually was or not, you didn’t mind. It was funny to watch the unknowing first year frat pledges hit you with all sorts of philanthropy collab ideas at parties after you lied and introduced yourself as the president or outreach chair of some random sorority.

The next day, a Friday, you woke up with a throbbing migraine and with leftover eyeliner smudged on your pillow. You definitely missed your 10 am tutorial. Much to your surprise, you found Yunjin already awake, typing away at her desk, equipped with a sheet mask. She, too, missed her morning class.

After you returned from a shower, you called out to your roommate, “Wanna hit the dining hall for-” you looked at the clock, showing a valid 12:11pm at this point “-for lunch?”

Yunjin did not bother to look away from her laptop, “Can’t! But can you get me a sandwich or something? I have this killer paper due and I need to finish it before we go out tomorrow.”

You stared at her blankly, not that she would be able to see it, “What do you mean go out? Again?”

She stopped, “Why are you acting surprised?”

“I just assumed you’d want to go out with your sisters or something.”

“You know I prefer you,” she pointed a finger gun at you dramatically, “and you can’t admit that to anyone or else we’d both die. Also, this is a homecoming party of a frat house neither of us have been to yet! I don’t want to miss out.” 

You thought about the long week ahead of you as you shoveled food onto your plate. You forgot to ask where Yunjin was planning on taking you, but it mattered less in comparison to the assignments you wanted to get ahead on before the weekend’s festivities took you completely. While you were wrapping up a sandwich and some food for Yunjin, as if on cue, she texted you.

you remember that Heeseung is in the hockey club right? he just invited us to a party at their house tonight … come thru?

“I think you have a problem, another weekend like this and you’re going to have to pay for my liver transplant,” you said to Yunjin when you returned.

She stuck her tongue at you and threw a crop top your way, “Take this as a gift in return for the food! And you’ll be wearing it tonight, thank you very much.”

---

Midterm season was upon you and with the addition of a frat-not-frat sanctioned event courtesy of Yunjin, you needed to get as much work done as possible. You made a deal with yourself that you’d complete at least one of two of your pending report papers, otherwise, no new frat homecoming party tomorrow.

You managed to find a table by the south side windows of the science library, and laid out your necessary notebook and textbook for the treacherous anthropology report you were about to bullshit the hell out of. Two hours into your frantic typing and at least 30 Google tabs later, you realized that one of the sources you wanted to use was locked online, and all the “legal” databases to surpass the paywall didn't have it available. Upon closer inspection, the source’s website indicated that it was available at certain universities, including yours.

You decided to take a break from typing. Your lingering hangover and the eye strain from your laptop screen were begging for a rest. So you cleaned your table and went to find someone to help you find the book you needed.

There was a crowd of 4 boys around the circulation desk, cackling over things unknown to you, and definitely distracting the boy working at the counter. They were exuding mischief, one of them trying to reach over to clack on a computer, and you recognized the one of them, Jake, jumping to sit on top of the counter. You stood in line, scrolling through your phone as you waited to be called to get help.

The areas of the library where the IT and circ desk were not necessarily meant to be quiet places, but you were surprised the group of boys didn’t get scolded considering how they were holding up the line.

A student walked by and shushed the group, interrupting them as they were doing their best to ruffle the boy’s hair over the counter. They scoffed at the passerby, but lowered their voices. You took this as an opportunity to clear your throat, finally grabbing the attention of the circ desk worker. He offered you a sheepish smile and shooed away his friends. The boy was about a head taller than you, sporting a black distressed long sleeve and now haphazardly messy hair. 

“Oh, sorry babe - didn’t see you there,” snickered one of the boys. He had sharp features and a confident smirk. The group stepped backward to let you through to the counter.

The boy behind the counter shot the other guy a glare after that comment and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry about my friends; how can I help you?” 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes and shoot a glare yourself, choosing to ignore the group. “Seems like you're new here or something. They seem to be excited to visit you.” You glanced pointedly, as two of the guys had their phones out, likely taking a picture of their friend.

The boy extended a hand out to try to cover his exasperated face from their photos.

You continued, holding up your phone to reveal a screenshot from the library website, “Wondering if this book was still available?” The boy squinted and nodded silently, typing away on his computer to look it up.

“Yeah, it is. We have one copy on the 4th floor. Are you familiar with how the books are sorted here?”

“Honestly no, I usually use stuff online, so this would be the first time I check out something from the library.”

The boy smiled in understanding, then glanced between you, his friends - now distracted by a couple girls you recognized from Yunjin’s sorority, and the empty line behind you. “I can help you find it, if you’d like?”

You gave him a small smile, “Yes, that’d be really helpful.” 

“Sunghoon, by the way. And you were right, it's technically my first day off of training,” he said as he met you on the other side of the counter, by the elevators. Seeing him up close, there was no point in denying that he was cute, especially with the furrow in his brow he wore due to the thought of his friends. His friend group were still talking to the girls, one of them with an arm shamelessly around one of their waists. Sunghoon looked exhausted, but amused, just looking at them.

You laughed as you introduced yourself too. “Don’t worry, I get it. My roommate ate at my old part-time job every day I was working for the first month. Just try not to let them get you fired,” you advised jokingly.

The conversation between Sunghoon and you flowed smoothly. Over hushed whispers through the library shelves, you learned he transferred to your university that semester, and was studying Kinesiology. 

“It’s kind of a jock major, I was surprised,” he muttered as he ran his fingers over the spines of some books, turning his head sideways to read the titles.

You frowned, “Why? You don’t play sports?”

“It’s not that, I just wasn’t expecting to have to take activity classes. It’s like high school P.E. all over again.” 

Even though he was matching the library volume, Sunghoon was soft spoken, and he was funny without trying. You explained how you were studying Human Biology with a minor in anthropology, and he picked at your brain about the paper you were writing.

“No, Sunghoon, sociology and anthro are not the same.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Wait really? I took a socio class before and it’s literally what you’re describing.”

“I think you should stick to your kines classes.”

Sunghoon hummed. “We’d probably take some physio classes together, I reckon?” He suggested, realizing the science similarities in your degrees.

“Oh! Yeah, you’re right.” Judging on how well you two were talking even in this short amount of time, you added, “Maybe we can study together or something.”

A pause.

Sunghoon was distracted, squinted behind you at something. You bit your lip to try to ignore the disappointed pang in your chest and your internal facepalm for trying to make a pass at the cute boy from the circ desk. Following his gaze, you realized that he had found the book you two were looking for.

Your mild small talk continued during the walk back to the circ desk, and you exchanged goodbyes after he assisted in checking out the book for you, his group of friends no longer in sight.

“Hope I’ll see you around,” Sunghoon waved.

You spent the rest of the afternoon holed up at your desk in your dorm room, typing, flipping through pages, and blasting audible adderall playlists out loud. And from the corner of your eye, you could see that Yunjin was doing the exact same.

The two of you finished around the same time, and decided to bring food from the dining hall into your dorm to eat while you and a couple of Yunjin’s sisters pregamed for the night. You decided to omit your encounter with a cute boy in the library while you guys were discussing your afternoons.

Yunjin was laughing, “We were literally so crazy, rapid fire typing next to each other while Y/N’s stupid Mario Kart songs were playing.”

Mouth full with pizza, you argued, “Don’t act like that music didn’t help us finish our papers. This could’ve been avoided, but you want to drink at every opportunity possible.”

She mocked your tone, “Don’t act like you don’t feel the same!”

The other girls, Chaewon and Kazuha, giggled at your dynamic, and poured everyone another round of shots.

---

The hockey club was basically a fraternity of its own, Chaewon explained to you as you all arrived, just less exclusive. It was a place for brothers in different frats to have their own camaraderie between each other, and their parties were open to anyone. You could feel the vibrations of the music’s bass in your ribcage.

As you three pushed through the crowd into the kitchen, Yunjin off to find Heeseung, Kazuha pitched in, “I heard one of the players that just graduated agreed to supply all the alc tonight.” You stared at the tubs of jungle juice and the tens of lingering bottles on the back counter. Even the sink was filled with beers and seltzers.

“He must be fucking rich,” Chaewon yelled over the music.

“Mark definitely comes from a wealthy family,” shouted a voice next to you. You turned and realized it was a boy from the library, one of Sunghoon’s friends. He smiled, and leaned in closer to make sure you heard each other, “Library, right?”

You did your best to ignore the two piercing stares behind your head from your girl friends, and nodded. He was dressed in a sailors outfit, white yacht cap and all. You could smell the whiskey from his breath.

“Jay,” he extended a hand to each of your friends and flashed Chaewon the same confident smirk you saw at the library. “Would you all like a drink?”

“Y/N.” You shook his hand and despite the alcohol flowing in your veins, you replied, “I think we know better to not accept drinks from strangers.” 

He teasingly frowned, “Hey, we’re on a first name basis; I’d think we’re at least friends now. Right?”

Chaewon gently nudged you with her elbow, sending you a hint. “Surprise us,” she said.

You took a deep breath before downing the cocktail Jay put together, a mix of coke and Hennessey. Mark, whoever he was, really was rich.

Safe to say it was just you and Kazuha left for this part of the night; you didn’t mind when your friends found boys to dance with, there was plenty of alcohol and music for you to have fun yourself. At some point in the night, Chaewon wove herself back through the crowd to find you two, her hair a little displaced and more intoxicated than you last saw her. She brushed it off as “It’s hot in here!” even though you caught a glimpse of her following a boy in a yacht cap. You left the dance floor to find the bathroom, heading to the front of the house where you saw a line of people before.

The music was quieter here, though the front of the house was still crowded with people cheering and laughing, at least you felt like you could hear your own thoughts again. 

You cringed seeing the line of people all waiting for the bathroom. Desperately, you looked around a couple hallways for another open bathroom, but all other doors and staircases in the house sectioned off with caution tape. There were too many drinks in your body, you had to go. 

“Now it looks like you’re the one new here.”

You turned around to meet eyes with Sunghoon’s neck, he was awfully close. He took a half step back upon seeing your surprised eyes, but gave you a smile.

“I didn’t know you were in the hockey club?” 

“I know the guys - a bunch of jocks in my classes, remember?” Sunghoon looked more relaxed. His outfit looked identical to Jay’s, also sporting the yacht hat. You could see that his hair was now styled and less messy than what you had seen in the library earlier. And considering the heat of the house and your own sweat that clung to your forehead, you were surprised to still catch a whiff of his cologne. His white shirt was loosely buttoned, revealing several inches of his chest, his skin smooth. Sunghoon leaned down to whisper, “If you’re trying to be subtle about checking me out, it’s really not working.” He smelled strongly of coconut rum, explaining his boldness.

You were too drunk to care, and looked him right in his eyes, “Yeah, yeah you caught me. Life’s more fun without subtlety.” You grinned, “So what’s with the outfits?”

“The boys wanted to match, Naughty Nautical was their wording,” he shook his head with a smile. He noticed the quirk of your eyebrow, “and no, I’m still not on the team.” Sunghoon motioned to a long strip of poster paper hanging on a wall by a clock near the stairs. He pulled you towards it to get a better look at what was written. “You didn’t see the ship decor?”

---

CAPTAIN’S LOG

10:05 pm - You must refer to each player as Captain or Sailor tonight, or you will be kicked out. 

10:06 pm - HOUSE SHOT 

10:07 - TEAM SHOT

10:10 - LADIES SHOT HAHA

~

    10:32 - Tri Delt is here!! <3 :)

10:33p  who asked -Heeseung BRUH LMAO -jake

10:46 - HOUSE SHOT NUMBER IDK :D 

10:52PM - ur gonna regret letting the freshman riki in >:)

10:58 pm - Riki just ate shit on the stairs -JW

~

11:12 pm - FUCK I MISSED 11:11, but I still wish for pu$$y

    11:20pm - LOL Same.

11:23 pm- i a m drunk ..

11:30 pm please I beg of a crumb of puss for my boy Jay please add him on snap here: jjongseong420

You reach over to scribble something on the log too.

12:34 AM - where is the bathroom

Sunghoon laughed and offered a hand for you to take. You were surprised that his fingers intertwined with yours, Am I about to get laid tonight? you drunkenly thought to yourself.

Sunghoon lifted a strip of caution tape for you to duck your head under first, before following suit himself. You let go of his hand to grip the stairs’ side rail and heard him stifle a laugh or two behind you as you stumbled up. The first bathroom you two encountered was unlocked and you quickly shut it as soon as you opened it. You clenched your eyes and paused for a second to convince yourself that you did not just witness your best friend’s naked limbs woven between those of the frat boy she’s been talking about for the past couple of days.

Sunghoon didn’t take the hint and laughed out loud, “Holy shit, was that Heeseung?”

“I think I’ll need another drink after that. Maybe a whole bottle.” Sunghoon kept laughing at that.

After finding an actual available bathroom, you found Sunghoon waiting for you, typing on his phone with one hand, and carrying an unopened bottle of Malibu in the other.

“Ask and you shall receive,” he smiled, raising the bottle when he noticed you stepped out.

Your eyes widened, “Jesus, I didn’t mean I wanted to actually drink a whole bottle.”

“No, stupid,” Sunghoon chuckled. He was certainly more playful when he was drunk. “I was going to share this with you, and offer you to take the rest home.”

You rolled your eyes, but smiled. “Well, at least you chose my favorite.” Your hearing was a bit muffled after making it somewhere where the beats of the songs didn’t ring your eardrums. “This house is nice enough to have a balcony somewhere, right?”

Sunghoon nodded, “Follow me.”

The balcony was accessed through one of the bedrooms down the hall, you stared at the width of Sunghoon’s shoulders as you walked behind him. You didn’t say much as you two sat on the bench outside, overlooking the front yard. There were other patrons loitering outside, a beer pong table set up, and a couple or two making out by the fences. The midnight breeze lightly shook the branches within your reach.

Sunghoon was pretty much a stranger for all you knew, yet you didn’t mind letting him take you through the house. At least he was a very cute stranger, he seemed different from the other boys you’ve met at parties so far. By now, considering you two had been alone for a while, any other boy would probably have tried to stick his tongue in your mouth. And yet, the conversation continued as smoothly as before, or well as smoothly as a pair of intoxicated students could manage. Sunghoon talked about a story or two about some of his friends, and you told him about why you chose to pursue your minor in addition to medicine.

“It’s just fun to get away from the quantitative stuff, and learn more about the human experience,” you babbled. “I want to apply to this abroad program in Prague, where you spend 2 weeks on an archeology site.”

Sunghoon stared at you, amused, “It’s kind of ironic that you wanna dig up dead bodies, while learning how to treat live ones.”

You bumped his shoulder with yours, and watched as Sunghoon took a couple more swigs right from the bottle before offering it to you, letting his fingers graze yours for a couple seconds too long. You could still feel the rage of the party downstairs, and you found it nice to be away from the center of it.

“So, do you at least play hockey with them? Or is your friendship with the team solely professional and from class?”

Sunghoon smiled, “No, not a hockey person. We’re solely transactional, I do well on our group projects, and they give me free alc.”

You nodded, seemed reasonable to you.

He made a face at how you accepted that so quickly, “But no, yeah, I also help them train. I’m an assistant coach on the side? At the rink downtown?”

“I know our hockey team is mostly composed of skinny boys, which is already unusual… But you?” Your eyes traced down his slim figure, “A coach?”

He poked your forehead, “Hey, I know my way around a puck better than half those guys. But nah, I figure skate. Help kids break into their first set of skates. But with the team, it’s usually to help with movement, speed training.”

“Damn, I didn’t think you could get any hotter,” you blurted out, honestly surprised. Usually you’d feel at least some regret admitting that, but the way Sunghoon’s ears burned red? Priceless.

“It’s not something I really admit; I got teased a bit before I got close to the guys. Had to score a couple goals against those bastards before I got them to admit a triple axel was cooler than any dekes they’ve learned.” He smiled faintly.

“You finished your paper, yeah?” You let him change the subject a couple beats later.

“Yup, that book really helped.” Sunghoon lulled his head around with the faint music, “I was just cruising right after we found it.”

“Hmm, I feel like I deserve a reward for helping you.” You know what, maybe you were a bit wrong about Sunghoon. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he didn’t seem that soft spoken as when you met him earlier that day. You were suddenly aware of how much his leg burned against yours.

“I mean, I can think of some ways,” you slurred, the liquid confidence drawing out each syllable, the words leaving your mouth before you could think of the cringe it would cause you the next morning. Sunghoon was unabashedly staring at your lips and you couldn’t resist yourself from smiling. Maybe he wasn’t so different, but you didn’t mind.

It was he who made the first move, his hand pressing lightly on your thigh as he leaned towards you. You fluttered your eyes shut, fully anticipating his lips against yours, only to open your eyes in confusion a few seconds later after nothing. He was biting his lip to not burst out laughing, his hand now stroking the top of your thigh. “Sorry, I just- it’s fun to tease.”

You squinted your eyes at him, and pulled his hand off your thigh. His eyes widened as you moved to straddle him, the poor bottle of Malibu tipping over to flavor the balcony with coconut.  “Try to tease me again and you’ll see.” 

Any ounce of his playfulness was erased, one hand rushing to grab your hip and the other reaching for the side of your face. He sealed his lips over yours and you eagerly tangled your fingers in his hair, knocking over his stupid boat captain hat.

You felt his tongue press into your mouth and you let him in, your lips moving messily against his. You let out a groan as his hips grinded underneath you and you felt him smile.

You held onto a shoulder and one of his biceps, feeling it tense as he pushed your ass further down onto him. His other hand moved from your jaw to the front of your neck and you let out a loud whine; this time Sunghoon pulled away with a short chuckle, cocky as hell, whispering, “Be careful. The people under the balcony might hear you.”

“Jeez, Sunghoon, are you an exhibitionist or something?” You teased.

His fingers, now brushing the front of your throat. Under the dim light of the moonlight you could see the swell of Sunghoon’s parted lips. He playfully rolled his eyes and scoffed, but said nothing.

You smirked and continued, “I only want you to hear.” And you swore you felt Sunghoon throb under you.

He picked you up, which seemed easy for him, given his arms, and carried you back into the bedroom - whose ever it was. He reconnected your lips, a hand sliding underneath your skirt as soon as your back hit the sheets of the bed. You pushed him off for a second, your hands clumsily reaching for the buttons of his shirt, eager to feel what was underneath. He watched as you traced your hands up his now bare chest, and you pulled him back in. He pulled the strap of your tank down, exposing more of you as he traced his lips, then his tongue, down your skin. You felt the graze of his teeth and you drew in a sharp breath.

Though you had to help him with the clasp of your bra with a giggle from you and a shut up from him, his tongue moved expertly over your chest. Sunghoon’s other hand pressing into you over your panties, and as he began to tug on them to free you, you couldn’t help but push your hips up to rush him, eager for his touch.

And as you felt his fingers slip inside of you, the door swung open, another busy pair of bodies stumbling towards the bed. And, obviously in the darkness, you screamed, but so did Sunghoon. And so did the other couple. “Wait… Sunghoon?” The guy said, his voice sounding surprised and almost proud?

Surely you couldn’t show your face at the hockey house anymore after this, you thought to yourself as you hurriedly clothed yourself, thankful you were only topless.

It was your first time getting walked in on, and considering what you witnessed earlier that night, at least you and Yunjin had a common story to laugh about tomorrow morn- err afternoon. After pushing out of the bedroom, Sunghoon, however, was still burning red, maybe from the alcohol, but also the embarrassment. You laughed as you poked his cheeks.

“Well, I guess you should be out there with your friends, doing keg stands or something?” You asked.

He chuckled too, thankful you were nonchalant about everything, and leaned down to kiss you again. His lips were gentle this time, and still sweet from the liquor. He held your hand as you headed down the stairs together. Your activities sobered you up so you two headed to the kitchen for more fuel, finding Yunjin and the other girls. After a couple more drinks with your girls, you didn’t even notice that Sunghoon had left your side at some point. Craning your neck over the still plenty of dancing bodies, you frowned, unable to see his tall self.

Yunjin noticed your disappointment, side eyeing the crowd as well. “Who was that guy you came down with?”

“Just met him today, he’s no one I guess.”

---

CAPTAIN’S LOG

1:32a WHO TOOK MY FUCKING LEFT SHOE -yangyang :(

1:40am - I have a small peen -jisung (Delta Rho Pledge Class)

2:02a - LOL YO SUNGHOON VIRGINITY IS NO MORE! VIRGIN

2:20am - ^ NO FUCKIN WAY HOON???

2:33 am - ^  IT WAS ME I TOOK IT LOL -JAKE

  WAIT THE SHOE NOT THE VIRGINITY

---

And again, you and Yunjin opted for stumbling through the dark neighborhood back to the dorms instead of calling a cab, the other girls begrudgingly joining you.

Yunjin slurred, “I can’t wait for the morning recap later,” her body landing on her bed with a soft thud.

You giggled at the thought of it too, although you frowned at the memory of Sunghoon leaving you in the middle of the night. It wasn’t wrong of you to be disappointed that he didn't want to continue what you had started, right? You thought of your conversations throughout the night, and even in the morning when you had first met him, wondering if you said something wrong. You grumbled in bed, bothered by how he made you question yourself, even though he knew you for less than a day. Just another night at a party, you convinced yourself, before drifting to sleep.

You woke up nauseous, your instincts kicking you out of bed to run to the toilet. After seemingly endless minutes of gagging and thoughts of regret, you lifted your face out of the toilet to see Yunjin in the doorway, looking at you pointedly.

“Damn, you had fun,” you muttered, letting out a pained giggle after seeing the marks on her neck.

She scoffed, helping you up from the floor to stand behind you in the mirror. “Look at yourself.” While not as dark or as many as hers, you traced a finger where some red bruises were trailing your collar.

After a hot shower and plenty of water, you met up with the other girls at the dining hall for breakfast. Yunjin and Chaewon were obnoxiously laughing, recounting the story about some freshman tumbling down the stairs in a Sailor Moon costume. 

Chaewon laughed, and paused to think. “I learned that I might not be into roleplay as much as I thought.”

“No…” You glanced around, looking out for any eavesdroppers.

“He kept the hat on and referred to himself as Captain before he went down on me.”

Yunjin gagged. “My biggest takeaway from last night? I guess, him… the biggest…”

It was your turn to gag.

The other girls continued to pry for more detail, and you got up to get some more water before they could pounce on you for your story. Your headache was pretty much gone at this point, but the nauseous feeling lingered. You spotted a boy with dark hair by the drink station and felt your nausea take a turn.

“Hey,” you gave Jake a small smile. He was in your major, so you had chatted with him a few times in some shared classes. “Was wondering if you knew how that freshman was doing?”

Jake turned and looked at you, and snorted as he tapped on his phone to bring up an image of the poor child, Riki, he told you was his name, tumbling down the stairs in a skirt. “The attention he’s getting from that is distracting him from his concussion.” He tapped again to show a Snapchat story of the boy himself, the tools of a hospital examination room behind him, with the caption i’m ok. “See you at the HYB house tonight? I’ll make sure there's enough Malibu,” he flashed you a vague smile and walked off. 

You frowned as you made your way back to your table, eager stares from the girls. “My night was uneventful! My takeaway is that it is far more fun to dance with you guys, than to be off in the corner with some guy,” you stated as you sat down. It was true - hookups weren’t ever on your party itineraries. Kazuha and Chaewon cheered you for that, but you met your best friend’s eyes and knew she was going to spare you just this time.

Jake’s comment bugged you the rest of the meal and continued through the rest of the afternoon, as you tidied your room and finished a bit of schoolwork. Give it up for frat boys to talk about you as soon as you part ways.

Since there was always room for school work to be completed, you decided to squeeze in some time at your usual library spot. As you passed the circulation desk, you half-heartedly snuck a peek to check who was working. For better or for worse, not who you were looking for.

The rest of the afternoon was less eventful, no need for Mario Party music to help you get through the last bits of a paper. Tonight’s pregame squad was larger than last time’s, with the inclusion of Kazuha’s classmate Sunoo and his best friend, the villain of the other night, Riki.

Yunjin groaned, “Are you sure they’ll even let you in?” She gave you a look that screamed, can you believe this kid? And you just laughed because forcing beef with a freshman was not something you were expecting to see from her tonight.

Riki squinted at her, “I know you. And I’m closer to Heeseung-hyung than you think, so you better watch it.” 

Yunjin cleared her throat, “Alright, fine, but if they close the door on your face? I’m not gonna turn back.” Riki faked a smile and continued to sip from his solo cup.

The rest of your friends were finishing their makeup, taking shots, and obnoxiously laughing. “You know,” Yunjin pulled you to the side, “You never explained who you were really with last night.”

“You know it’s a peeve of mine to share everything I do with boys.” 

“Hey! I’m just wondering if I need to keep an eye out for someone, in a good or a bad way.”

“Park Sunghoon, another kines major and groupie of the hockey team.”

Yunjin nodded slowly, obvious she was wracking her brain through all her social circles to determine what she knew of him. “Newest HYB pledge. Transfer. Ridiculously good looking and a rare attendee of HYB events - he barely rushed but he got a bid because everyone liked him so much anyway.” She paused, “I’ll err on the side of red flag since he’s too incognito in Greek, but he’s hot so just have fun?”

“Not sure if I’m going to try to indulge in that again. Didn’t even know he was in the frat. He seemed… like he thought he was above that mentality.” Yunjin gave you a side-squeeze, and a couple more glugs of her vodka concoction into your cup. 

“He sure as hell looks the part though. That’s what makes ‘em fun.”

The HYB house was larger than any frat home you’d stumbled your way into. It included a nice, curved driveway - now crowded with shivering bodies - and a stairway entrance. Several signs, - in the chic-est of spray paint on bedsheet - cursing out your university rival, lined the top floor’s windows. And much to your chagrin, considering the run-in you had today, you saw that Jake was one of the door guys.

Your friends were going over the plan on how to get Riki in, “They’ve been begging Sunoo to rush HYB, so if they come in a pair, surely they couldn’t turn him down,” Kazuha rationalized.

Chaewon was doubtful, “Boy doesn’t know his tolerance, they might see him as a liability.”

“Can’t you just pass the door guy a couple bills and call it a night?”

“Bitch, I’m literally broke. If they say no, I’ll just sneak in from the side.”

“Well, well, well.” Jake looked your group up and down with a smirk. “Now y’all look like a bunch of troublemakers. Wait,” his eyes locked onto Riki, who was (mind you, 6 ft tall) subtly hiding behind Sunoo. “You ladies can go in, but I’m gonna have to ask about the boys.”

Sunoo rolled his eyes, “Look, we brought three girls, surely the ratio will be fine.”

“Hey Sunoo, I’m jus-”

Yunjin pulled you into the house, and hissed “I said I would not look back and I meant it.”

You were astonished by the glory of the inside. The historic style of the outside contrasted with the dark and sleek minimalism of the inside. They had invested in Real Quality strobe lights and a dedicated raised platform for the DJ set. The girls reflected your awe just the same.

HAPPY HOMECOMING was spelled out in much nicer fashion, on poster paper rather than bedsheet, along the second floor ledge.

Due to the nature of the event, the kitchen - just as pristine and sleek as the front of the house - was filled to the brim with bottles and fiending students. Frat boys were behind the island dishing out drinks.

“Heeseung’s not coming?” You asked Yunjin. 

She shook her head, “His frat’s having a party at their house too, but this house is far nicer so naturally I chose HYB.” And judging by the line you saw outside and the amount of bodies pressing against you, so did everyone else.

An older looking boy even introduced himself to your group, a sober safety bro as he said, and offered a hit of his vape.

You’d be lying if you said that the possibility of Sunghoon being here (which was at least 90%) didn’t kind of bother you. Even amidst the dance floor, your eyes did an occasional scan of the perimeter. If it was paranoia or hope, you couldn’t tell the difference. You saw your genetics TA, some girls from your dorm suite, and, wait, is that Riki helping out the DJ?

Even Chaewon noticed your scanning and shoved her cup in your face, a universal signal to chill out, and enjoy the night. 

It was a good time for a refill. The crowd to get drinks was less packed, but still full enough to block your vision of who was pouring.

You were using your front camera to fix an eyelash before realizing you had made your way to the front. Your vision of your reflection was immediately replaced with the embarassed? expression of Sunghoon as soon as you put your phone down.

“What can I get for you?” He slightly yelled over the music.

“Rum and Coke,” You heard yourself stammer, and hoped it would be mistaken for a drunk stumble.

Sunghoon nodded. “Yes, mommy,” he visibly cringed as you blinked at him. “Ugh, sorry, the pledges have to call the girls that tonight.” He turned around to pour your drink. You, too, turned to look the other way.

If it was any other guy, you’d be laughing, but seeing him again made you feel awkward enough already. The addition of frat pledge hazing was NOT helping.

“Here you go,” Sunghoon passed you the cup. And you stared at the clear liquid inside.

“This isn’t-“

“It’s Malibu,” he said with a smile and turned to help the next person in line.

Your many drinks later helped soothe you to your normal self, enjoying the moment with closed eyes, swaying your body next to your friends’. 

At some point you and Yunjin decided to take a break from the dance floor and explore the house. “Some of Heeseung’s bros are banned from this house so they asked for pictures,” she whispered, ungracefully taking pictures of semi-occupied hallways and rooms with flash. You were so embarrassed for her.

She snickered going through the ones she just took. “This photo is so creepy; there’s a guy just sitting in this room alone, like a stalker.” The irony zipped above her head.

You two began to make your way back to the action. The DJ was hyping up the house, the music stopped - getting everyone to chant profanities about your rival school. Yunjin quickly rejoined the crowds, leaving you to stroll in through the kitchen without her.

You watched the back of Sunghoon’s figure as he poured a drink for himself, then raised his cup with the rest of the party in a cheer. He was so good-looking, even from behind.

Your mind reeled, you two hooked up and surely anyone would be willing to continue what… (rather, who) didn’t finish, right? Maybe it was self indulging, maybe it was the alcohol, but you didn’t want to stop your gravitation towards him. It was past 2am, surely you waited long enough.

“Hey again,” you said simply, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Hello, mo- Oh. Hey, Y/N.” He sighed.

You withheld your cringe. “Didn’t know you were a pledge,” you half lied (You knew.. you just learned a few hours prior!).

You were thankful that the people coming into the kitchen for refills were grabbing beers, rather than asking for mixed drinks. Sunghoon’s avoiding eyes told you he felt differently.

“It’s still a new development to me.” He was being so awkward, unlike the ramble-y, giggling Sunghoon you were with less than 24 hours ago.

 “Am I speaking to Park Sunghoon, or did I meet someone entirely different last night?” You blurted out.

He offered you a polite smile, “Sorry, I just don’t really know how to go about this.”

Oh god. He was going to give you a rejection speech - a babble about how one night is one night, and how he isn’t interested in anything more. Your heart panged, were you getting desperate? Sure, you met him only yesterday, but getting ghosted already - he barely gave you any time to even recover.

He took your hand to pull you to a quieter side of the room. “Alright, if you’re not interested anymore I get it, I’m an adult, you can be straight up.”

“No! It’s not that,” Sunghoon stared at your sleeve. “It’s just that I wasn’t sure how to act… hooking up with someone at a party isn’t at all my type of thing.” 

You resisted to quirk your brow at Sunghoon-the-alleged-not-frat-bro, frat bro. He noticed you were waiting for him to continue.

“And you… seemed like the opposite. I thought that you’d probably just leave me behind, so I decided it best to leave first.”

“I go for the music, the chaos, not the boys,” you shook your head. “But, I was kind of confused that you didn’t want to… continue?”

“Sorry for abruptly leaving, I didn’t really know what to say. Plus we were already walked in on, the guys are like helicopters over pledges - they’ll figure out everything so I - I don’t know - wasn’t sure I wanted to involve you.” He scratched his head, “I wasn’t expecting you’d come try to talk to me again.”

“Wow, Park Sunghoon, woman respecter, protecting me from the frat boy gossip.” You quipped. “You failed by the way, Jake made a comment to me earlier.”

He rolled his eyes and groaned - “It’s because of that stupid captain’s log. You should see the rest of it - Jungwon documented everything I swear.” Sunghoon stopped to look at your blank face, “I’m not giving a good explanation, am I?”

You shrugged.

“Fine. Let me make it up to you.”

You thought to yourself, now am I getting laid?

Sunghoon intertwined his fingers with yours again and you followed behind him this time up the staircase. The HYB stairs were tile, far smoother than your unsteady walk could handle. Sunghoon laughed at you, “If you’re like this walking on land, I wonder how you’d be on figure skates.”

“Are you suggesting you’d want to see me in public and on skates? And not in the haze of a dingy frat party?” You feigned surprise.

Sunghoon snickered, “Hey, our house is the least dingy in all of Greek.” He smiled again, “And yeah, I’d be down to see you without an absurd amount of coconut rum.”

You ignored the sirens going off in your brain about getting more involved with someone unpredictable like him, Yunjin’s just have fun, echoing in your head.

He unlocked a room’s door, revealing a typical single, dark bed sheets matching dark curtains. You noticed a few trophies on a shelf. Sunghoon frantically picked up stray clothes, “Sorry I don’t really, bring people back.” He looked at you as you leaned against the door frame for support, “Wait. You’ve had way more drinks than I have. I think we should just watch a movie? I set up pretty good speakers, my surround sound is elite.”

You snorted, “Woman respecter, certified.” You removed your shoes and climbed into his bed. The soft sheets felt good against your skin, the spinning of the room felt more obvious with your new position. The bed dipped as Sunghoon joined next to you, equipped with his laptop. The sirens in your head went off again as he slid an arm under you, pulling your heavy head against his chest. He still smelled of cologne - a tinge of spilled orange juice and fruity smoke, clinging gently on his shirt. You were more conscious of how you smelled to him, of coconut and pure sweat, most likely. Sunghoon gently rested his head atop yours. Oh god, there was no way he wasn’t breathing you in now.

Sunghoon mumbled, “You okay? Need water?” He was aimlessly scrolling through his front page of Netflix. You shook your head, then laughed pointing out Megamind under his Watch It Again list. He sat up, trying to cover his other recommendations that were all along the line of family movies. “It was for nostalgia, okay!”

You wrestled with his arm, revealing more of his lists. “Monster House I can get behind, but Boss Baby? Really?” He wrestled back, before he closed his laptop, suppressing his own embarrassed laughter with fake seriousness. Sunghoon climbed on top of you, lightly pinning your wrists against his sheets.

“You talk mad shit for someone who told me they listen to Mario Party music unironically.” You gasped.

“I did not tell you that! Plus, I’d rather be caught listening to Mario KART music, than watching a movie about a baby in a suit.”

Judging by Sunghoon’s expression, you knew you won that argument. He continued, “I might have asked around about you.”

You smirked, “Stalker, are we?” Then you realized, how did other people know that about you?

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, and decided against a comeback. He dipped his head to seal his lips over yours. He let go of your wrists, opting to grasp your chin with one of his hands, as his other supported his weight above you. You eagerly moved your lips against his, sighing.

Shamelessly, you mumbled against his mouth, “Couldn’t stop thinking about this.” Your arms wrapped behind his neck, tugging him closer to you.

You felt Sunghoon’s shoulders stiffen, as your lips trailed downwards, eager to trace lines against his jaw again.

“Hey,” he whispered. Your hand followed down the front of his chest, prying at the edge of his collar. “Hey-,” Sunghoon repeated, louder. He let out a soft groan, before you pulled away, satisfied.

“What?” you whispered, exasperated.

“If this is all you want from me, I can’t do that.” He said seriously. “I don’t want to just hook up with you, plus you drank too much.” 

You cleared your throat. He was right, though he was just as playful, he seemed quite sober. Sunghoon resumed, “I’d like to just spend time with you, but if you’re seeking something else - no hard feelings.” You saw a gentle pout along his lips. You heard him, but you couldn’t resist placing a kiss against that pout.

“No! I don’t just want to sleep with you…” You looked at him, maybe the sirens going off in your head were just a false alarm. “Just promise you won’t ditch me?”

You felt his neck burn up, if it wasn’t for the room barely being illuminated by his digital clock on the wall, you knew his face would be flushed red. “It’d be hard to leave, considering we’re literally in my room,” he joked. He placed a kiss on the side of your mouth before lying back next to you, his arm sliding back under your head.

You giggled as you watched him quickly scroll past his Netflix recommendations, instead pulling up the anime genre page. 

Eventually agreeing on watching Saiki K, Sunghoon’s gentle shaking from his quiet laughter began to lull you to sleep. Your last thoughts before sleep consumed you was how sweaty you felt with Sunghoon’s body heating you up, how you forgot to text Yunjin back about your whereabouts, and how criminal it was for someone to still smell so damn good.

Those thoughts were also the first ones that came to you as morning struck.

Much to your surprise, your head didn’t hurt, probably thanks to the water Sunghoon basically force fed you during the second episode. His arm was still under you, but he was now turned to face you, his other arm lightly draped over your frame - effectively trapping you in his arms.

You weren’t complaining. 

Slowly, and quietly, you slid your hand to grab your phone in your back pocket. The most recent text from Yunjin, wear protection xx, with a selfie of her and RIki making kissing faces at the camera. Looks like their beef was relieved, you couldn’t help but to laugh out loud.

Sunghoon dipped his face deeper into your hair and neck, with a soft groan as if to shut you up.

Panic set in. You had to get out of there and shower. It would be an absolute disservice to this gorgeous man to keep allowing him to breathe you in.

You tried to shake him awake, Sunghoon pulled you tighter. You blinked at the intimacy of it all, sure he almost had his fingers inside you the other night but this felt far closer. It was pulling at your heart strings.

“Hoon, wake up, I’m stinky.”

Sunghoon mumbled, “I don’t mind.”

“Gross… I have to get to class.”

“Liar, Yunjin told me you have afternoon classes today.”

“Yunjin?” That woke him up.

He slightly pulled away, “I might have… inquired.”

You couldn’t hold back a satisfied smile. “Wow, I’ve known you for a weekend. This has to be a new record for me.”

Sunghoon brushed a few hairs out of your face. “You know, we actually met at the club fair last month.”

You tilted your head in confusion, “No, there’s no way - I definitely would have remembered you.” It was his turn to grin.

He bit his lip, “Well, it was more like I signed your friend’s petition, but you were at the table too. I was with Jake, you two were going over a lecture. You were too engrossed in genes or whatever, so I guess you didn’t notice.”

You hummed, “That lecture was so bad… Jake and I shared notes that night.” You watched Sunghoon’s now shy expression. “So a month, huh?” Maybe Sunghoon was a green flag.

Sunghoon covered his face with a hand, then teased, “Don’t forget you were all over me last night, practically begging for me.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“No, I think you just can’t remember with all that alcohol you drank.”

You squinted at his smug face, “Shall we call a truce?”

“Only if you let me take you out tonight.”

Tracing a finger along his jaw, you whispered, “That sounds reasonable.”

He grinned, placing a kiss on your cheek before getting up out of bed.

“Alright, I’ll take you home. Lord knows someone needs a shower.”

You pulled him back in bed to try to smother him with a pillow. He escaped quickly, laughing at your attempt and opting to practically pick you up. Sunghoon held your hand, leading you out of the remnants of the HYB house, only letting go for a moment to open the car door for you.

His hand found its way a top your thigh as he drove towards your dorm. 

When he parked, you grabbed his phone from the cupholder, holding it out so he could punch in his passcode. Sunghoon grinned as you sent yourself a text.

“I’ll pick you up at 6?” He offered.

You returned his smile with a chaste kiss, “See you then.”

[jflemings]

would you minds sharing any random jessie relationship headcanons you have? you write about it so well in your fics pls let us into your brain lol

— my oddly specific gf!jessie headcanons

pairing: jessie fleming x reader

warnings: nsfw & saw

a/n: got this ask and kept it in the drafts so i could just keep adding to it when a thought popped into my head :)

if any of my headcanons inspire fics please please please tag me!!! i’d love to see your take on them <3

- took soooooooo long to ask you out because she kept psyching herself out

- spoke with such confidence that it was honestly a shock to you when she told you she was nervous

- talked about you all the time to her friends and family before they ever actually met you

- introduces you to her sister before the rest of her family (mainly bc elysse begged to meet you)

– she has tiktok only so you can send her videos and you’re the only one she follows

– she takes soooo many photos of you

loves taking embarrassing ones just so she can laugh at them later

– sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door

– is an absolute pain in the ass to go furniture shopping w because she reads everything on the label

– early bird

– not super big on pda but insists on holding your hand everywhere you go

– she doesn’t really celebrate her goals but if she knows you’re in the crowd she’ll point to wherever you’re sitting and blow you a kiss

– if you get married she gets your first initial tattooed on her inner left bicep closest to her heart

– easily embarrassed by compliments

– likes to read her book with your head in her lap

– makes the best bacon and eggs, i don’t make the rules

– if you drink coffee you can bet your ass she memorised your order the first time y’all went out for coffee

– super clingy in the mornings

– makes a playlist of songs that reminds her of you/your relationship

– very attentive gift giver, will take note of even the smallest things you say you like for future reference

– if you’re a reader she’s got your tbr in her notes app so that if she sees a book you’ve been meaning to read she can just get it for you

– likes to give and receive flowers

– a rambler, she’ll talk your ear off if she gets talking about something she really enjoys

that includes you, she talks about you to her teammates all the time

– secret avid pet name user

babe, baby, my girl, sunshine, ALL OF THEM

- blanket hog

- the two of you make a pact to learn something new by the end of the year and she chooses to learn how to play the fucking harmonica

- she gets rlly good at it tho

- picks out your outfit for game days

- loves having baths with you

doesn’t get to do it often but when she does she goes all out: bath bomb/bath salts, candles, her kindle. the whole lot

- talks during movies if she doesn’t know what’s going on

“why’d he do that” “jess i don’t know, we’re watching the same movie”

- not a big tv series watcher but will sit with you while you watch it

- loves her documentaries though

- does a really good david attenborough impression

- is ridiculously competitive when it comes to monopoly and twister

- which is funny because she’s shit at twister

- likes to be close to you at all times

if the whole couch is free she’ll still sit next to you, thigh to thigh

- doesn’t like to argue but will if she feels strongly enough about it

- she can honestly be kinda condescending in arguments without even realising it

definitely comes from her role as a leader

- she asks you multiple times through the day what you’re thinking about just because she likes to know what’s going on inside you head

- likes to do normal, everyday things with you like chores. honestly doesn’t even care that she has to vacuum the whole house, she just likes that fact that the two of you are cleaning together

- as clingy as she is she also really likes her alone time and will often take herself to a corner of the house to just mellow out, especially if she’s been around people a lot that day

- she’ll always come and find you with a smile on her face when she’s ready to though

- loves to update you on her day when she’s away. she’s been known to send you photos of anything and everything when she’s with team canada

- likes to get you lil something from every city she visits if she can

- you display all the trinkets she gets you on a shelf

- when you first started dating she’d write you letters as a way to express her emotions because she didn’t feel like she could properly communicate them directly to you

she gives them all to you on your wedding day

- she’s just so so so so in love with you

NSFW

– generally soft during sex unless she’s high off a win, pissed off or been away from you for too long

– is a switch lol

– gets pleasure from you being pleasured, she’d eat you out for hours if you let her because she likes knowing that she can get you off

- also a biiiiiiiiiiiiig fan of using a strap, absolutely loves the way you look when she bottoms out

- is surprisingly vocal in bed

- has a massive praise kink it’s literally insane

- she came untouched once bc she was fucking you w her strap and you were telling her how good she was doing

- likes when you scratch down her back but can’t let you do it often bc of the shared change room

- once went to training with a scratched up back and sam never let her live it down

- isn’t super experienced but she is observant so she figures out what you like really early on

- made it her personal mission to fuck you on every surface of your new place when the two of you moved to portland

- is a big fan of morning sex

- not a big fan of shower sex

- also is a fan of make up sex

- tries to give you as many orgasms as physically possible in one round (four is her record) (she intends to beat it)

- aftercare queen

- is pretty firm with what she does and doesn’t like and isn’t usually one to go out of her comfort zone unless the two of you have discussed it before

- refuses to hit you during sex. she’s just not comfortable with it

- doesn’t really like choking either but she does like having her hand on the base of your neck without applying any pressure

also goes absolutely feral when you do it to her

- definitely prefers to have sex in the comfort of your own home

- the two of you got caught by niamh once because jess was too loud as you ate her out

neither of you could look her in the eye for about a week afterwards and jessie endured so much teasing

- isn’t one to have drunk sex but she does like just having her hands under your bra so she can cup your breasts. she doesn’t know why, it just happens when the two of you are going to bed after a night out

- is the biggest tease in the world

- will rile you up and then pretend she has no idea what she’s doing

- has insane stamina and will go for rounds until she physically can’t

- can get really cocky during sex, especially when she knows you’re about to cum

- if she’s had a really shit day/week she likes to be overstimulated just to get all of her negative emotions out

[tacharie]

Thoughts for The Montkraken Episode

so, I just finished the chapter and… wow I have a lot to say. I took screen shots for every part I wanted to talk about and I think this rant will be SUPERRRR long so bear with me. Tumblr won’t let me add screenshots so when I have better service I’ll edit the post to add them. These paragraphs are theories and side notes that I wrote after reading a certain section so you’re gonna see my thought process throughout the story. As always, spoilers ahead so I recommend skipping this if you haven’t read it already.

Alright so I was once a hater of this ship BUT… the Shobaru shippers may have a point in this guys 😭. LIKE.. I HAVE THE SCREENSHOT OF SUBARU BLUSHING UHHH. That is not a heterosexual stare feller 🤨…

AHHHHHHH THE FROSTHEIM DUO ARE BACKKKKK!!! I missed them so so much they’re so silly and deserve the best. Honestly the only two I trust in this school cause I CANT. I literally suspect anyone but them, but Imma be so disappointed if either of them are hiding something. I’ll be sad, but like I’ll help 🙄. I was actually so sad when the MC mentioned being the reason they could be in danger like GIRLLLLL DONT SAY THAT PLEASEEEEE. ITS LIKE THE ANGST WITH ADEUCE AND YUU LIKE STAWPOPP. Also when the Vagastorm kids were like “aw yeah Mido wouldn’t lie like that” it makes me happy that people can at least trust him enough to be honest and idk I found that kinda sweet :3. We’re also getting a bit of a timeline, like the One-Eyed Sleeping Beauty Murder being BEFORE the clash (sorry if this was already mentioned I don’t really remember stuff from the past chapters) which could’ve been a trigger.

Also, I feel like they’re trying to tell us that Jiro is Zenji’s brother because when he had that little laugh about the MC being scared of bodies, he said too. When you click the “too?” option, he just says that he isn’t the one afraid. It’s not Yuri as well cause he’s literally a doctor that is in the same room when autopsies are in session. Whatever the case, I assume he was referencing to Zenji, though it being a blurry memory. Little theory tho.

OK SO THIS IS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME. In Chapter 9’s title it says, “Girl Learns Shocking Truth About Monster”. I like to think the shocking truth was the fact he didn’t shower for 3 days 😭. CAUSE THATS THE PART SHE SOUNDS MOST SHOCKED. Idk that part was silly to me. THEY’RE OUTFITS FOR THEIR DORM IS SOOOOOO PRETTY. They ate I fear, a bit more than the other dorms. Also side note, they dropped A LOT of info with just how they word things. For example, Yuri saying “Jiro, you are well aware that I will not be associated with those germs AGAIN.” Soooo Yuri was in Frostheim? I don’t doubt it bc there’s another line that says “I’d rather not recall how bitterly cold that place is” which can MEAN TWO THINGS. I’m super sure that they’re implying that yeah, he was, but then something happened blah blah blah.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH HYDE AND DANTE??? Like ok bitches, spill your shot to us too don’t be shy. So, confirmed by them, Dante and Hyde used to go to school in Darkwick (which I assume the rest of the teachers are too). That explains their back and forth. WHAT REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE WERE THESE LINES.

Hyde: “…You really are a softie, Dan-Dan.” (Haha Dan- Dan)

Dante: “It would seem that way to someone as cold as you.” (???) “…There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed, Hyde.”

Hyde: “…I’ll keep that in mind.”

WHATTTTT. WHAT ARE THE LINES. GO IN DETAIL ARGHHHHH. This gives us more info on the character individually too. Dante describes Hyde as cold… DANTE. So, it was obvious that this whole happy go lucky attitude was fake, but I expected to be more like Haru’s kind of attitude not like that yk?? now I know how much of a cash grab this game is, but I really hope they aren’t going to stretch the story out too long to the point where you have to P2W cause I haven’t paid a cent and I don’t plan to. I still want to learn more about them and stuff so :(. On the topic of Dante, there was a small flashback where I missed a word in the sentence that Dante said while talking with Alan. “I’m the man you supposedly killed.” Supposedly?? Now, I didn’t my catch this in my first run, but now it’s like wdym supposedly?? Shouldn’t you know? This is giving hella Jiro vibes and honestly, I’m getting sick and tired of these characters having a bad memory.

SPEAKING OF JIRO- he seems to have problems remembering things and they come back to him in the very weird moments (honestly a kin moment). I would like the think that he’s just suffering from the damages he had to go through from the clash. His relationship with Yuri is so… sad to me. Yuri seems to doubt him a little bit and I feel like he sees him as just a specimen, not much of a friend. Meanwhile, Jiro smiles a lot to Yuri and listens to him like a master, like that’s what he’s supposed to do. NOT AGAINST HIS OWN WILL DONT GET ME WRONG. He’s just so neutral about it it makes me a bit like awwww :(. They’re cute tho idrc.

Ok moving on to Haku and Tohma. (Ok at this point I’m getting nervous cause why are we seeing so many characters now. That’s probably just a coincidence). OK THESE TWO HAVE GOT IT GOING. Like there’s tension when you get their chat in the campus but this is like woahhhh… Also I don’t like how Tohma says “our wheelhouse? I see..” it makes me think he’s like implying “so you think you’re a part of them now?” IDK THATS JUST MY LITTLE STRETCH. Also poor Zenji, he’s like “aw yeah I died in vain lol” LIKE OUCH.

Nicholas. I DO NOT LIKE HIM. I REPEAT. I DO NOT LIKE HIM FOR A MINUTE OF A SECOND. The only staff I like are the cats, the grocer guy, and MAYBE Dante. LIKE HES SO… NORMAL?? LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON IK THERE IS. When MC says “I can’t believe Professor Nicolas would do something like that” I DO 😡🙋‍♀️. I am in full support of Yuri finding crimes against this guy.

Also, little other side note, I just realized that Yuri and Jiro have matching earring in opposite ears. It’s so cute.

Ok I might have to go back to the beginning and see what the “goat like anomaly” Jiro is talking about when he mentions the prophecy, cause I said “… the chancellor is a goat??” BUT ANYWAYS. Speaking of the prophecy, I’ll jot it down.

“The whisper of the new moon shall lead the champion to the academy on the solitary island. So long as the champion resides there, the world shall be sheltered from profound tragedy.”

Stating the obvious here, but this is most likely referencing to the last cutscenes we get when we choose our characters. I’ve checked the cutscenes again and there’s no visible moon, meaning it could correlate to the “new moon” portion. (Search up new moon to see what I mean). Assuming Solitary island means death, that would also help with the theory. So, whoever we chose in the beginning might just be the person who won the Laurel Crown.Honestly, this is just a silly little Drabble for a theory and VERY vague. Maybe the champion resides in the events of the past that we still don’t know about but this kinda helps?? Idk I’m just putting what I think at the moment. I’ll probably reread the game so I can get a better timeline. Also, Yuri’s rant about demon particles… doesn’t exactly sit right with me. Were they chosen to be resilient or was it just a birth thing?? Idk but I feel like a lot is missing from his theory. I mean, we’re using human logic to a supernatural cause so I don’t think pacts acting as allergies would work. If they’re not chosen, could it be that the ghouls can make pacts with more than one demon? I wanna see what happens if that was the case. Please comment if I missed something 😭.

Ok Towa appeared. (Why are we seeing so many characters I don’t like this) and we went back to that tree… WHAT IS THAT TREE?? And what the hell do you mean the fruit grew? What is that fruit supposed to be? An anomaly going to birth?? Is it supposed to represent the houses?? Motivation?? It seems so weird to me cause we just got introduced to that tree last episode. Sighs.

OK REN AND RITSU. WHAT IS GOING ON. I GUESS SINCE THIS IS THE LADT CHAPTER FOR INTRODUCING CHARACTERS BUT LIKE … STOP. I feel like something is going to happen with the MC pls 😭. Anyway, those two talking about ramen is so cute please don’t ever change you virgin and lizard looking freak 🫶( with love of course). GROCER GUYYYYYYY. YIPPEE :3!! I love that the cat is the owner and not the human lmao.

Also I will always be a MC defender cause she is so relatable. “Why are hospitals so creepy at night?” GIRL IKKKKKK. Idc what y’all say, the fact that she’s normal is keeping me sane from these freaky deaky events. ILOVE NORMAL CHARACTERS! LIKE MATSUDA FROM DEATH NOTE OR THAT ONE GUY FROM MASHELE. Anyways, I love her little comments and everything she’s so silly. Idrc if she doesn’t have much of a backbone cause honestly, she’s surrounded by danger so the best she should do is listen to the people that are constantly surrounded by it.

ALSO NEW THING. (Well idk if it’s new but yeah).

mention of a Dionysia Breakout. <—— Idk what that is, but it sounds like a little more. I love little details and slip ups thanks characters <3!!

HA! HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! I WIN NICOLAS 😈!!! YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE. AND I WILL FIND IT TRUST YOU WILL BE DELT WITH. I WILL KNOW THE PRIOR PAST >:(!! Also, Moby is being soooo annoying tbh. More character descriptions to add: competitive as a teacher. NO ONE WILL MAKE YOU HATE YOU JIRO ‼️‼️‼️ HES SO SWEET He literally asks if we’re scared and says we can hang back awwww. Though he doesn’t understand much, he can use logic and he can at least understand how we feel. It’s a nice sentiment :)!

I can’t take the transformation seriously I’m sorry. I’m still impressed by Yuri’s deductive skills and the transformation just sounded like he was constipated.

THE WHOLE BATTLE SCENE WAS EPIC!! MC HESITATING BECAUSE OF LEOS WORDS BUT STILL PUSHING FORWARD. YURI GETTING FLUSTERED. JIRO SMILING AND TRUSTING YURI’S ORDERS. THE FUNNY EXCHANGE ABOUT MUSCLE WHEN THEY WERE CARRYING THE POD. Those annoying ass pussy sticks we call Darkwick students 😡. JIRO LOOKING BADASS AFTER THE SHOT. URGHHHH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER.

HARU AND PEEKABOOOOO!! AHHHHH IM SO HAPPY I SEE THEM AGAIN!! I’m so glad he’s going to Hyde too cause I’m not ready. Also… the mermaid thing is so weird. For the Montkraken Mermaid, they seem to refer to it as “it” or “that mermaid”, but when they speak of the second mermaid, they use personal pronouns like “he /him”. Haru’s expression as well when he heard someone was abusing mermaid flesh… it’s a new one with a little crease under his eye. It’s such a sad face like, did he know this mermaid personally or was this fear?? Either way, I wanna meet him cause the other one was so pretty.

…You guys know the “I see who you are… you are my enemy” sound that’s on TikTok or reels or wtv? YEAH THATS SONG WAS PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN HYDE SAID WE HAD TO DO A SPEECH. HYDE IM IN YOUR WALLS. URGHHHH I HATE HIMMMMM. Call to action my ass IK either Taiga or Leo are gonna get their asses out of the door after the speech. OR BOTH. I’m starting to tweak.

NOOOOO THE SPEECH IS THE NEXT CHAPTER?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I feel so bad for Zenji… like I’m so deadass. Dude he sounds so sad about how he’s dead it’s so.. URGHHHH. ALSO I CALLED IT. THEY ARE BROTHERS. AHAHHAHA!! Well it was kinda obvious cause everyone thought it too but WOMP WOMP. Also I love his real name, Taro Kirisaki. It’s pretty :)!! But these lines killed me

“and though I have taken my final blow, my brotherly heart can’t help but worry for my kin. … Not that he has any idea I’m still around.” YEOUCH?? I DIDNT COME TO CRY BRO…

I’m tweaking out because of this speech bro. I’m gonna choose the corniest stuff and hope for the best. “I feel bad please stop for me 🥺” headass.

Taiga is officially my enemy as well. I called that shit about him leaving URGH. WHAT A FLIBBERTYJIBBET!! His outfit eats tho so it balances out. LIKE DAMNNNN. HE LOOKS SO GOOD.

DOUBLE?? TRIPLE??? QUINTUPLE???? HELL I MIGHT BECOME A GHOUL TO GET THAT MONEY GOLLY 😍😍😍!! CAUSE IN THIS ECONOMY??Also thanks Jin you a real one twin. Bouta split this cash with my wife and I’ll send you a wedding invite.

EDWARD. ED PLEASE. STOP PUTTING ME IN THE SPOTLIGHT… well it’s out now so woopy!! I really wonder what the others have to say about that cause they just gave really vague surprised reactions. Well, Ritsu documented it. I love that little guy please don’t ever change you silly.

NUMBER ONE CORNELIUS HATER IDC. Unless I know your intentions I DONT CAREEEEE. YOU ARE AN OPP IT IS ON SIGHT WITH YOU. SAME WITH YOU NICOLAS!! “I didn’t know whether to tell you or not I’m sowwy 🥺” CHUPA MI PITO HOE 😡.

… you’re telling me I didn’t have to do that awful speech because DANTE AGREED?? IM DONE. IM WHOOPING EVERYONE IN THE ROOM AND AURING THE PLACE OUT. FIRST ONES OUT ARE HYDE FOR NOT TELLING ME, NICOLAS, AND CORNELIUS. ARGHHHHHHH. Also, dude, who is that Janitor guy like seriously.

ROMEO??? AND HYDE???? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT BUTTERCUP?? Wdym worked for him?? What is going on… SPECIAL MISSION??? SHO??? OH NAW. I CANT TRUST NOBODY ANYMORE 😭

Towa crying :(. What does the fruit shrinking have to do with it now?? I’m so confused.

ALRIGHT IF YOU MADE IT TO THE END WOW YOU HAVE DEDICATION. Yeah this is my personal yap session to this chapter and it’s so URGH. I’m so excited to see the next chapter and I hope we get to see more and more. Now with the Gala in place, we can finally start WORKING. Based on the timeline, we have about … 8 months left?? So hopefully, for MC’s sake, she gets cured. BYE BYE UNTIL NEXT EPISODE!!

[stuffeddeer]

Matching bolo ties with Dazai!! Other couples have matching bracelets or keychains but why not matching mental illnesses 😎

doing this in hcs hope that's fine!!! love u anon

“oh whoa! look at these matching couples bracelets for sale, darling! aren’t they so cute?” “look! that couple has matching necklaces, how sweet!” “oh, i don’t want these matching keychains, just pointing them out to you because it’s cute!”

…

he gifted you yours!

but not in person bc that’s so scary omg

he left it on your kitchen counter one morning before leaving for work

dazai was so excited to see you wearing it the next time you were together!!!

seeing the blue gem wrapped around your neck as you greeted him warmed his heart ❤️

he plays it off like a joke, saying that he thought it’d be funny to match like other couples do bracelets or keychains. he says you don’t have to wear it but please don’t take him seriously!!!

if you take it off dazai will be DEVASTATED. he hides it really well bc he’s him but ouuugh he reads it as you not loving him :( or being embarrassed of him!!! omg you took it off because you actually plan to leave him like everyone else ??? you don’t want people to associate you with him ????? omg

even though it would destroy him, every time he sees you with it on he tells you that you don’t have to and probably teases you for being so whipped for him (even though it’s 100% the other way around)

he takes total pride in matching with you!!!! when kunikida points it out he’s all “oh so you’re jealous? sorry you don’t have a lovely partner to match with!”

atsushi compliments the matching set and he BEAMS!!!! smiles so brightly for the rest of the day and even into the next!

he uses it to tug you closer to him to kiss you!! he knows it gets your heart racing both from the fear and suddenness of it but also bc awww his lips on yours n he smells like comfort and— oh now he’s gone. hm

he’s so commitment issues to me so it’s kinda his way of staking claim over you :)) his hand brushes over it when you talk with someone else he doesn’t trust or he’ll reach over and “polish” it with his bandages or sleeves or his SPIT if that person Will Not Back Off.

i can imagine him starting to keep those soft glasses cleaning fabric squares in his pockets just for the above scenario 😭

he just loves that you match him! starts pointing out matching things other couples have - not to try and drop hints like last time but to mutter that ours is better while all pouty :( now he thinks he Owns “matching accessories w your s/o” someone come get this man shaking my head….

all in all i think he’d be very cute about it! it’s not something he explicitly states or asks for but it makes him very happy :)

imagine one day his breaks on a mission and he’s so distraught and uncomfortable and anxious all day :( he comes home to you after by breaking into your apartment almost holding back tears as he explains what happens :(

you have to hold him close and say it’s okay, you aren’t mad, he’ll be fine…

try offering yours for him to wear while it gets fixed! (he’s a little suspicious… why are you so eager to not wear yours?……) but dazai says you can wrap your wrist in his bandages like a makeshift bracelet just for the time being!! so he still has that claim on you while his gets fixed

but now. how would you look wrapped all up in his bandages? oh you’re so cute!! so his ❤️

maybe you can wear his shirt to match! ooh ooh how about the coat as well! you look like a mini him when you’ve got the white pants on, too!

it’s a slippery slope anon. stay safe out there.

he just wants everyone to know you’re his at first glance! is that too much to ask?

[crheativity]

Congrats for your 200 followers, hopefully you will grow more!

Can I request Silver at 7 pm? Cuddling with him in MC room, specially since how busy he can be as Malleus guard. Hopefully this is fine.

WARNINGS: ametuer poetry lol

COMMENTS: Hey Anon! Thank you so much for the request! I hope you don’t mind but I changed it slightly to make it just a little more SFW as this request is right on the edge of what I’m comfortable writing. Also, the poem is selected lines of a sonnet I wrote a couple years back, bc that was a thing I used to do often. As such, it’s not very professional, so sorry if the poetry isn’t the best. Thank you! :D

It had been a while since you’d gotten to relax with your boyfriend. I mean, he was awfully busy. You supposed that was a fair price to pay for someone as sweet and good as Silver.

But in the rare moments - in between his and your studies, random bouts of sleepiness and monitoring Malleus’ wellbeing, miraculously, you were able to make things work. You never seemed to have the time for any big, romantic dates. It was a rare occasion indeed where you had dinner at the Mostro Lounge, watched a movie at the cinema or went shopping together.

That didn’t stop either of you from having dinner at Ramshackle, watching movies at home or going on errands to Sam’s together. Your “dates” were often smaller, and even more sweet than anything else you could imagine doing.

Like right now, for example.

Currently, you and Silver were sitting close to each other on a couch. A blanket was draped gently over the two of you as you sat holding a book of poetry. The two of you took turns searching through it, before you each found one you’d like (whether it be funny, romantic or emotional) and read it aloud to each other.

Silver had been getting sleepy for a while now, although he was a little too stubborn to admit it. Or maybe he just wanted to spend more time chatting and reading with you.

That thought gave you butterflies.

Concentrating on the book, you flicked through, scanning the contents for any poems that stood out to you - ones you hadn’t read yet. Your eyes settled on one, a soft smile settling on your lips as you skimmed the contents.

Yes, this one seemed appropriate.

“Have you found one?” Silver piped up sleepily beside you. He’d started leaning on you gently, resting his head on your shoulder as his eyelids grew heavy.

“Yep, you ready?”

“Always.”

You smiled softly as you read aloud.

“I can still remember the day we met,

You held my hand and asked me what was wrong.

I don’t remember why I was upset,

But I remember your smile as you sung:”

You paused for a moment, skimming the lyrics and guessing how the melody is supposed to go. Softly, you sung the next verse of the poem.

“No matter what has happened dear sweetheart,

I am always here for you, it’s okay,

Like flowers, whose petals must come apart

So they can bloom, you will find your own way.”

Silver shifted next to you. His breathing was changing by the moment, his sleepiness finally starting to win the battle against his will to stay awake - to stay with you.

He was always here for you, much like the friend in the poem. The thought made you smile. You wondered if Silver could sing? That would definitely be something to ask him when he woke up. Maybe he could sing the poem to you next time.

You continued through the poem, reading through the last verse.

“Fast forward a few years, we were best friends,

“Best friends”… oh yes, and maybe something more.

We were “best friends”, with seemingly no end,

Until the day you knocked upon the door.”

Your mind wandered back to the day Silver had confessed. It was simple, but very sweet. He had come to visit you at Ramshackle. It was the only time you could remember seeing Silver nervous.

You brought your mind back to the last couplet of the poem as Silver continued to fight a losing battle against his sleepiness.

“You told me you’d find me, gave me this ring,

And every day since, I have spent hoping.”

You felt Silver squeeze your hand and glanced over at him just in time to see his eyes flutter closed.

Sleep had won.

You gently set the book aside and adjusted Silver into a more comfortable position against you, moving the blanket draped over you both to cover him more fully. You gently leaned against him and shut your eyes. One hand held Silver’s, your other floating up to your neck, where a promise ring hung from a chain.

Maybe your love was like poetry in more ways than you’d thought.

♥ Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it! ♥

[so-long-soldier-writes]

It's a Cruel Summer, With You

kai parker x reader | requested

summary: kai's never had anyone tell him they love him. he panics when he hears it for the first time.

tags: based on cruel summer by taylor swift, mild enemies to lovers, drinking / alcohol, secret relationship, summer love, love confessions, fear / panic, past trauma affecting relationships, emotional hurt, unrequited love (but not really), break-up, heartbreak, unhappy ending, one teensy edgar allen poe reference

word count: 5k

a/n: anon, i apologize once more for the amount of time this took! i hope you like it, and i hope i did taylor swift justice. 🩷 i also hope it makes sense bc sometimes i feel like my thoughts are just all over the place 😅

You were staring daggers into the back of his head, three days after a drastic turning point in their lives. And he, feeling your eyes upon him, turned to face you and smiled. That enraged you like nothing else; no man had ever had such an audacity with you, to raise the hell that he had and still offer a smile. You looked back down at your drink, still fuming, and still aware of him watching you, and texted your friends about it. One replied with an equal disgust, another sent a funny-to-her joke, and there was no response from the third. 

“Maybe he’s got a sweet spot for you,” she had said.

“Ha.”

A sweet spot that’d make him kill you last, maybe.

You rolled your eyes exhaustedly, but by the time you looked back down, someone had slunk into the booth across from you. You jumped, then rolled your eyes a second time at the realization of who it was.

“Hey cutie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Kai shrugged, unbothered. He kept eye contact with you in a way that made it hard to look away; his blue eyes seemed to pierce right into your soul. They weren’t bright, like Damon’s, but instead had a touch of darkness in them. Like storm clouds rolling in on a bright, sunny day. They threaten rain, but you’re not sure if the downpour will come today or tomorrow.

Kinda like how he came into Mystic Falls. 

“What do you want?” You bit, after about thirty seconds of staring.

“Are you scared of me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you afraid of me?” He repeated, eerily softly. 

“Why would you think that?” Forced bravery is better than none, especially when faced with Kai Parker. 

“There’s a slight tremor in your voice. Only one finger touches the table, as if you’re unable to settle. You struggle to meet my eyes.”

“What are you, a psychologist?”

“I’m a sociopath.”

Shocker. 

“So?”

“I notice things.” He took a sip of your coffee. Reached out across the table, met your eyes, and sipped your drink. Again, the audacity. “I spent a lot of my childhood isolated. I had a lot of little brothers and sisters, and they were all taught to be afraid of me. I know how to read the signs.”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“That’s what they’d say, too.”

“Well I’m not your siblings, and I’m not putting up an act. I don’t trust you, and I think you’re an ass, but I’m not afraid of you.” Your statement’s bold, but he had struck something fierce in you. A nerve, maybe on purpose, that wasn’t going to let him win this time. 

Kai smiled at that. His gaze dropped to the table, surveying your hands once more. His own pointer finger dragged along the wood. “I like you, Y/N. You’re plucky.”

The words took a moment to register - Kai saying he liked you. Kai didn’t like anyone. 

He got up to leave, causing you to turn towards him, prepared to jump out of the booth if you had to. “Well don’t.”

He cocked his head. “What?”

“I don’t want you to like me. I want nothing to do with you; you said it yourself, you’re a sociopath, and I don’t need that kind of bad energy in my life.”

That seemed to be funny to him, judging by the way he chuckled. “Okay, Y/N.” He put his hands up in surrender. “I won’t like you then.”

And with that, he was gone. 

Of course, he wasn’t gone - gone. Kai was never gone - gone from anything, even when people yelled at him to leave. He would disappear for a couple days, but he always came back. 

And somehow, after your interaction, you’d see him more frequently at the grill, too. He’d never talk to you, but you could feel his gaze. His stone cold blues would linger on you, almost like an animal stalking prey. 

It made you anxious, jittery. But somewhere, secretly, also a bit excited. 

He was dangerous in a way that drew you in. He had this aura about him that intrigued you as much as it scared you. You knew what he had done, and what he was capable of, and yet he still occupied the curious corners of your mind. 

And somehow, he seemed to know that. 

♫

How it happened from there is something you still question. Death glares became stolen glances, became blushing smiles, and by the next time he joined you at your booth, you didn’t try to fight him off. Kai ordered an uncharacteristically pink cocktail to match your own tropical choice. Neither said much as you both drank the rum mixtures down to the ice. You communicated in eye contact, mostly, as if daring the other to speak. Your stubborn personalities that should’ve clashed seemed to meld together instead. An intense staring contest was born. You found yourself entertained in the game, and quickly, enjoying it, too.

The booze soaked your brain as you continued to drink; your thoughts were fuzzy, and whenever you tried to catch them, they’d dissipate like cotton candy dropped in water. When Liv closed the restaurant around midnight, she unknowingly crashed the floodgates that weakly stood between you two. Ten feet out onto the street, you fell into him and he held you up. You laughed in his arms, partly due to your own drunken state, but partly that it’s Kai keeping you on your toes. He held you tight until you found your footing, just for you to crash your lips onto his unsuspecting own. The witch, taken aback but not opposed to it, let you taste him for a moment before kissing back. He pushed you up to the nearest wall, feeling and exploring, before hailing a ride back to your place. 

It had been forever for both of you. The uber driver with a ‘no touching’ rule sobered you up a little, but not enough to make you think twice about it. By the time he laid you down on your sheets, any doubt in your mind had fizzled out. He was a gentle lover, much to your surprise, likely because it was such an unfamiliar feeling to be so intimate with another. The little control you tried to take was met with a laugh, and you understood the signal. You didn’t mind being underneath him, though, nor did you mind him staying the night.

Guilt struck you when you first woke up in his arms, but not enough to barr yourselves from meeting again. The first few times you had to be drinking to convince yourself it was okay, but the more morning-afters you spent together, the less ashamed you started to feel. With time, nights started to feel less like hookups and more like something else. He became something you adored when you had, and craved when you did not. The feelings were mutual, though harder to pull out from the siphon, until you asked him directly, putting both your hearts out for the other to grab.

“What are we?” You asked, head leaning on the vending machine as he fetched himself a post-high gatorade. A bag of cookies were held in your own hand from the exchange you made one minute prior. 

“Having fun,” Kai replied.

“Kai…”

“Or so I think,” he followed his words, questioning the look on your face. 

“Are we anything more? Will we ever be?”

A loud voice down the hall that vaguely resembled his sister made a sharp remark to another person. His response sounded closer, as if they were heading in your direction. Kai grabbed your arm and muttered a simple cloaking spell until they both passed. Liv and Tyler both disappeared into her room, then Kai removed his hand. His touch lingered on your skin for a moment. You’ve grown to quite like the feeling. 

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’m not exactly the person for relationships, if you aren’t aware. I’m a sociopath that was locked in complete isolation for eighteen years.”

“I don’t care.” You grabbed his hand and laced your fingers together. “I like you. I don’t want this to stop. I want it to be more.”

“I’m not built for this.”

“But do you want it?”

His mouth went dry as he already knew the truth. He did. He wanted you so much, but fear held him back like a dog on a leash. He didn’t have much slack. “I want you,” he finally said. “I want this to work.”

“I’m not good at relationships, either. We’re figuring this out together.”

Kai seemed to accept that better, and two minutes later, he climbed back under the sheets with you, turning on a movie and sharing snacks until you fell asleep. 

♫

As your relationship progressed, it was tested, like all relationships ever are. You grew closer, more comfortable, as summer went on. Much of your time spent together was at night; you hadn’t told your friends, not ready for their questions nor their judgment, nor did you want the word out to his coven yet, afraid of whatever wrath his father could bring if he were to disapprove. You were still figuring things out, still learning about each other, and testing yourselves through time, and that was okay. Life isn’t something to be learned in a day, it’s something in which to be present to see where it takes you.

So, you let yourselves live, to do just that. On top of rooftops and beside small creeks, you snuck out to enjoy each other’s company. Mystic Falls has a lot of places to hide if you know where to look. 

A couple times, you’ve almost ran into others. More than anyone being Liv and Tyler, also avoiding her father. Once, you’ve ducked under bushes to hide from Bonnie. Kai kissed your neck while his hand was clamped over your mouth, daring you to give away your position, while playfully inhibiting your chance to do so.

Sometimes, you were drunk when you found yourselves venturing the town together. The bar in which neither Matt nor Liv worked became a hotspot for you. But instead of ending the night short, you opted to explore the late hours in each other’s company. The alcohol wore off quickly, but the drunkenness brought on by your unconfessed love never did. 

Kai, as it turns out, was easy to fall in love with. He was charming when you first met, but you were tickled to learn that underneath his manipulation tactics, he could be just as endearing authentically. He was a jokester and a flirt, whether across a room when you’d spot each other in public, or when you were hanging out together alone. You were never afraid to be alone with him. If your friends knew you were out with him, alone, at night, they would’ve freaked, but he always made you feel safe. And, once he felt comfortable being vulnerable with you, he revealed a side that could be sweet, too. 

Even after arguments, you were able to patch things up as if they hadn’t happened. Sometimes, he’d be bristling and volatile, but you knew that a lot of his anger came from a place of fear. You learned what to say that would calm him down; you told him what he needed to hear to feel safe again. You’d provide him with the comfort he’d always desired, and when he settled, he’d melt into your touch and softly request forgiveness.

You complimented each other perfectly. And while it took you a moment to name the emotion, the feeling had been there all along. It was love. 

♫

You were only slightly drunk the first time you realized the truth. Kai was painted in perfect, purple lighting, and his eyes seemed to sparkle when they met yours. You stumbled towards him and put your arms around his neck. He caught you, hands finding your waist. The music seemed to fade out as you swayed with him to the beat. It was as if a bubble captured you both, drowning out the rest of the world, making him your world, and in that moment, nothing else existed. You kissed him quickly, desperately, like an addict gone too long without a hit. He met you halfway, equally addicted. 

And then, because you were young, and stupid, and courageously in love, you blurted out the words swimming restlessly in your mind,

“I love you.”

You looked up at him, not expecting an answer just yet, but to offer an encouraging smile. Before your gaze even reached his, his body tensed. His hands felt like ice upon your nervously warmed skin, and his once-strong grip on your waist loosened. Kai wore an expression of confusion, different from the emotion that you tasted on his lips. You opened your mouth to retract the words, but nothing came out. The bubble that consumed you seemed to crack; the music previously blocked filled your eardrums once again. 

A fraction of a second later, you were guided to a hallway by your fingertips. The narrow path reduced some of the music, but most of the traffic. The man of your affection took to one wall, leaving you in the middle. You tried for his hand after he let it go, but dropped it at the discomfort he seemed to feel in having you hold it. 

You racked your brain for the right words, but nothing seemed perfect. You stared at the ground beneath your feet for a half second longer until he spoke, 

“You can’t do that.”

“What?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m sorry? I don’t. What did I do wrong?” He only shook his head, prompting you further. “Was it what I said or when I said it? Because I don’t think it’s wrong of me to confess what I feel for you when I know that it’s true.”

“It can’t be true. You can’t feel that for me.”

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Provide me with a reason,” you interrupted, “or let me do as I please. I want to love you. I do, and I won’t apologize for it.” 

“Y/N-”

“We’ve had some tough times together, I know we have, but we’ve gotten through them. We - us, together - have worked through so much to get here. Of course I love you, there’s so much effort and, and, love, that connects us.” You paused, letting your thoughts catch up to your mouth. “You don’t have to say it back. You don’t even have to acknowledge it, if you’re not ready. I know it’s a big step.”

“You can’t go there, Y/N.”

“I know, okay, maybe it was too much, too soon. I’m sor-”

“No, you can’t ever go there. You can’t love me and you shouldn’t. I’m not designed for relationships, they’re not meant for me. Do you not remember the things I’ve done?”

“We’ve talked about this, Kai. You confided in me about your fears, but we handled them, I thought. Do you not remember what I said?”

“I do, but-”

“‘Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway’.”

“By Poe,” Kai finished.

“And it’s true. I don’t care about the things you’ve done. I want to love you, and I do.”

“But you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t excuse the things I’ve done just because you want to see me for someone who I am not. You shouldn’t be so desperate to see a difference in me that you convince yourself you love me.”

“What?! Kai, I’m not excusing nor am I desperate. I know you’re different from the you that wrought pain upon the town. That guy’s gone, buried, with this you in his place. And I quite like this you, and I’ve learned to love him, because his progress is worth loving. He is worth loving. You are.”

“The old Y/N would never say such things about her sworn enemy. You’d never dare hold his hand, nor kiss his lips, nor say such things, because you’d know better, and if you did, it’d be because of some horrible nightmare, or some instance where I spelled you to get what I needed, because Y/N, we’re living in a fantasy, and none of this is real.”

“I don’t understand! This is real! We’re here, together, and we were dancing, and we were happy, and now we’re in this hallway. Still together, but now questioning if the summer we’ve spent together has all been a hoax, or if that’s the booze talking.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“You have to be, to think what you’re saying is true.” You paused, heartbroken, and afraid to show it, but pretty sure the choke in your words already had. “So are you saying you’ve never meant it? All the times you’ve kissed me were just folly? Or the nights we stayed up until the sun rose again were only dreams I made up?”

“That’s not what I meant, Y/N. I know what we’ve done, and I know we’ve shared moments, but a fantasy is all this is for us. Something we want, but cannot have. We have to wake up some day.”

“I disagree, I think we can make it work.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. This was never supposed to be a long-term thing.”

“But we said it could be! We said it could make it work!”

“And that’s what makes it a fantasy! We both know that’s a lie.”

“Kai, I don’t understand. Ten minutes ago, we were fine. Yesterday, you gave me a kiss that swept me off my feet; that replaced all my organs with butterflies; that made me feel like full-bloomed roses on the nicest day of the year. You made me feel cherished, and happy, and beautiful, but now, I feel like I’m on the end of a well-thought out joke, and everyone’s finally allowed to laugh.”

“I’m not saying this to break your heart. I’m just trying to be realistic.” He reached out to wipe a tear from your cheek, but you smacked his thumb away. 

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling, but you still tried to talk through them. “I thought we were being realistic when we stayed up talking, all those nights, about how we knew each other’s flaws but were willing to work through them anyway. I would think, if we weren’t, we wouldn’t have spent a whole week together and considered getting an apartment to share, because we work just that well.”

“That only proves my point further. We haven’t been together long enough to make big decisions like that.”

“Then we’ll put it on pause and address it later.”

“Y/N-”

“Why are you doing this? Why does it seem like you’re giving up on us? Why are your words sounding like a preface to a break up?”

“Because they are,” he confessed, “because they have to be.”

“What do you mean, ‘they have to be?’”

“We can’t work. You can’t love me.”

“But I do, and I want to, and we do! We’ve managed to make it work, despite our-”

“But how long do you think we can keep this up? When will our differences outweigh our desires to stay together? When will we tell your friends about us? My family? We are too different for us to work, and I’m too damaged to be loved by you. We have to stop living in this fantasy.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this. Do you even know what you’re saying?”

“I’m not drunk, Y/N.”

“So what, have you been planning this? Have you been waiting for the perfect time? Funny, that the perfect time seems to be when I tell you I l-”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, “don’t say it again.”

“What?”

“The less you say it, the less you’ll believe it.”

“That’s bullshit. I believe it in the deepest corners of my heart. You’re etched into my bones. You’re the shimmer of light in the darkest parts of my mind. I love you, Kai Parker. I love you, and I don’t want to apologize for it, and I won’t believe that I’ve made this all up in my mind. It’s okay that you don’t love me, but don’t you dare try to say you feel nothing.”

“Y/N-”

“‘Tell me all the terrible things you’ve done, and let me love you anyway’.”

“You can’t. I won’t let you.”

“You don’t have a choice. I don’t. I can’t control my heart nor its desires. It wants you; you have it. Tell me you don’t crave it. I know you crave love, Kai. I know it in the way you kiss me, and in the way you hold me. I know it from the time you confessed, at two in the morning when you were too tired to hold back, and I know it from when you told me, clear as day, on that Wednesday afternoon. I love you, and I’m not afraid to love you. Why don’t you give in to what I know you want?!”

Because your love isn’t mine to take. 

Because I don’t deserve it.

Because you’re a gemstone, perfect and pure, and I’m the dirt from which it was pulled.

“Because I don’t feel the same for you,” he said instead, “I’m not capable of love. I’m a sociopath, and anything I’ve ever said was for my own fleeting pleasure. It’s over now. I’m done. I’m bored with us.”

“What? No. Something’s wrong. This is not the same Kai I spent the summer falling in love with. Are you Damon in disguise? Pulling some sick prank?”

“I’m not, Y/N. It’s me, being realistic, and telling you I don’t love you, and I never will. It’s time to go home, Y/N, and to your own bed, in your own sheets.”

The tears streaming down your face run your make-up, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. “But my sheets smell like you.”

“Then wash them.”

The harshness in his tone was unlike anything you’ve ever heard before. When you finally brought yourself to meet his eyes, there was no light inside them, no humanity. His jaw was tensely set, and for the first time in months, you saw the Kai that everyone feared when he had broken himself free of his eighteen-year punishment. Scared and sorrowful, you backed away from him. He didn’t follow. You backed further and further away until you were stumbling out of the bar. The wicked August heat kissed your neck like he used to -  passionately. You grabbed your hair, fumbling it up into a bun to get it off your skin, then searched for your phone to call a ride. 

As the white sedan approached your meeting spot, you trained your blurry vision on the door, but Kai never came out. He never shouted your name, hurried down the steps, nor caught you in an apologetic embrace, blaming his temporary ignorance on too much to drink. He never peered through a fingerprint-stained window, watching you from the glass, wondering if it's too late to take back what was said. It was just silent, as car engines roared and drunk couples chattered around you. 

When your ride finally came, you cried harder than you ever had in your life. Your driver glanced to the backseat, but didn't know a good time to interrupt, so he didn't. He offered a polite smile as you got out, thanked you for the five-star rating, and made sure you got in your apartment safely before pulling back onto the road. 

You barely made it through the door before crashing on the couch. Exhaustion settled in your bones halfway through the drive, and you couldn’t even think about climbing the stairs. The worst headache of your life pounded in your skull. Water was too far of a walk, so you let it throb. 

You tried your best not to think about Kai. His words rang in your head on repeat like an old antique bell - loud, heavy, constant. It almost felt like the whole night was a fluke. A nightmare. A spell, perhaps done by his father, or one of your disappointed friends. When you wake up, he’d be there, kissing your fingertips as the smell of coffee fills the air. You let this thought comfort you, and let it soften your heart. Although, deep down, you knew the truth. 

He wouldn’t be there. He didn’t want you. 

You’ve never known pain like this before.

♫

You can only ignore your friends for so long. Blaming a long to-do list can only give you so many excuses, and when Caroline messages you mid-afternoon on a Friday if you’d meet them at the Scull Bar, you realize you don’t have any more excuses left. So, cautiously, you pull yourself from your bed and drag your feet to your closet. You still haven’t washed your sheets, despite wanting to be rid of his once-comforting smell. It’s more stubbornness than anything, refusing to do the chore. If he thinks throwing a piece of fabric in the wash will rid you of him, he’s a damn fool.

You hadn’t been lying. He owns a part of your heart, and that can’t be simply washed away with some eco-friendly detergent.

Truthfully, you think, ignoring the heaviness in your bones as you enter the Scull Bar, the only way to remove him would be to carve out your heart entirely; to separate it from its lifeline and from all that’s familiar. But, you can’t, so you choose to let it bleed instead, and hope it doesn’t seep through your clothes. 

A vague sadness hangs above your heads, but none of your friends know the cause. You told them you were tired before joining them. You must not have gotten a good night’s sleep.

After all, it’s the first time in Mystic Falls where something tragic isn’t happening. Damon and Elena are planning out their lives, Stefan and Caroline are newly together, and Bonnie and Enzo, a quite unexpected pair, seem to be happy. Jo is five months pregnant, and Kai has left her alone. The girls wonder if that’s of his own volition, or if someone or something is distracting him, but you don’t offer any suggestions. When they then ask you about your own dating life, you only shrug. They tease playfully, having no idea about the wreckage your heart is still trying to piece back together. The cause seems hopeless. You don’t even have the energy to confide in them. 

The topic finally changes, but only because the one who dropped your glass heart enters. You turn when you catch a bit of his familiar cologne, but remind yourself he’s no longer yours and turn again just as fast. The girls let their gazes linger on him as if daring him to bother them, and for a moment, Kai wonders if you told them. But then, as they shrug and go back to their conversation, he knows you didn’t. Otherwise, they’d be hurling bitter words and sharp tools at him for breaking their best friend’s heart. 

And honestly, he wishes they were. 

It’s what he deserves, after all. 

♫

“I love you,” you had said, only a couple weeks ago. 

His heart stopped. His throat went dry. 

The words seemed to have been shouted at him, despite the booming bass around them. You weren’t yelling, though, you were simply telling the truth. 

A truth he wasn’t ready to hear. A confession he didn’t know how to process. 

How could you, a perfect person, love him, someone so tainted and dark? 

How could he ever love you the way you deserved? 

He did love you, of course. He knew it long before you ever confessed, but it was never something he felt okay to share. 

You always made him feel safe. Comfortable. Dare he say it, loved. 

But love was something he had never felt before, and to have something means that it can be lost. And to not lose it tragically, he must be the one to take it away. 

Hearing the words fall from your lips was both the best and the worst thing he could ever hear. He craves love, he knows he’s admitted it. He craves it more than anything else in the world. But wanting it and having it are two very different things, and now that he has it, he regrets asking for it. 

He had to hurt you then, before your soul could be completely shattered later. He had to stop it. Right then. Before he let you in too much and you got too attached.

So, he lied. 

He broke his own heart with every word, but it was nothing compared to the damage he knew it was doing to your own. He wanted nothing more than to sweep you into his arms, hold you tightly, and say it was all just a spell - an outside force trying to drive you apart - but he couldn’t. His fear of hurting you triumphed over his love for you. His mouth spoke before his mind could process the words he professed. He became unrecognizable to himself by the time he delivered his final blow. Your tears stained your perfect face and your posture was defeated, but he was no longer the one that could offer any solace. He was now the one that ruined you, and there was no coming back from what he had done. 

How terrifying it is, that three little words can make or break you. 

How terrifying it was, to wake up the next morning and realize the damage caused. To have to come to terms with the fact that he had broken the only good thing in his life. To imagine the love of his life sitting on the couch, stirring coffee, with a head full of questions neither will ever be able to answer. 

“I love you, Kai Parker. I love you, and I don’t want to apologize for it…”

“I love you,” ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?