#still not over this death fr

[massive-lesbian]

DAY 14!!! (spoilers for fate of ten. Character Death)

I fucked up. I knew that as soon as the blaster shot slammed into my back and released an excruciating pain that rippled through me like a blazing fire. She shouldn’t have picked me up and moved us behind that pile of rubble.

She should’ve let me die there. She should’ve let me meet my demise right there. Should’ve let me become martyred. But, no she saved me. As that fiendish abomination, Phiri Dun-Ra, bolted out of the dense jungle into view she released a flurry of blaster fire at the approaching mog squadron. She soon hunkered down next to me to avoid the furor of blaster-fire that flew towards us.

Marina was Ra’s next victim. He was posted at the top of the crater and Marina desperately tried to fire the deadly, frigid ice from her dainty yet lethal hands. But nothing came out as she jutted them forwards. She was ripped up into the air by Ra’s telekinetic grasp. We screamed out to her but it was no use. She couldn’t hear us over the sonorous blaster attack aimed at us.

We could only watch on in horror as she was bludgeoned into the ground. Her body went limp as he thrust her back into the air and slammed her down again and again. It’s Mark who saves her. He bolts towards Ra with a blaster and shoots the mog leader right in the gory, bloodstained hole in the side of his head where his ear once was. Ra sends Marina’s body hurtling towards Mark as he shouts out in fury and pain. Adam sprints towards Mark and Marina and helps him pick up her limp, broken body. They retreat to the jungle carrying Marina with them.

I see Ra stumbling to the Anubis. I can’t let him get away. I will not let him get away from me unscathed. I start to force myself to stand upright but she starts to grasp me trying to stop me from doing what I need to do. Trying to stop me from meeting my fate so soon. She screams into my ear that “It’s all over!” But, I can’t accept that. I will not accept that. We are so close to victory she can’t stop me now. So close to freedom. So close to the release from this horrific, gory war. I need to do this for her for Katarina.

I force myself to step out from the cover of rubble and I splay my hands out in front of me trying to compel my legacies to work. I power through the ache in my hands and battle the wind to bend to my will. I use the wind to throw shrapnel and debris at Ra landing as many hits as I physically can to his body.

She tries to stop me and drag me away from this warfare but I can’t stop. I need to end this right now. But she still stays at my side returning a volley of blaster fire at the approaching mogs screaming that “this is suicide!” But I refuse to listen. I refuse to stand down like a coward.

I’m hit by unidentifiable parts of shrapnel and debris. I do not care though. I surge forward and then it happens. Setrakus Ra stumbles to his knees as a long piece of shrapnel from a skimmer sticks out of his chest. Directly through the heart. He is rushed aboard the Anubis as I too crumble to my knees. I feel the stream of tears collapsing off my face. She wraps her arms around me and drags me towards the jungle in her sweltering grasp.

There’s so much blood and I cannot bear to see it. I turn us invisible fading from view of anything that may be watching. She only gets halfway towards the ship before her grip falters and she collapses releasing me from her tight grasp. I go to pick her up but pause. I didn’t do that…

 Did I?

A huge, gaping hole in her midsection. A chunk of debris must’ve torn it straight from her body. I did that…

Didn’t I?

 I choke on my breath and try to hold a sob. She won’t last long. She’ll surely die because of me. Surely she will. I drag her back to the ship as quick as I can with my injuries and hustle her onto the first cot I see.

Moments later Mark is violently shaking Marina’s broken body begging her to do something screaming at her to “Wake the fuck up and heal her!” Adam barges Mark into a wall shouting at him to stop shaking Marina as he may kill her. Lexa is shouting at me from the cockpit. She wants to know what is going on. But I can’t talk. I just can’t.

The chaos around us doesn’t affect her. She looks so peaceful but so pale. MY hands are slick and dripping with her blood. It just keeps pouring from her. It won’t stop. I clutch at her gaping wound even though I know it won’t do anything. I just feel as though I must do something. I feel so utterly useless.

She speaks to John on my satellite phone she tells him that she doesn’t have long. That’s my fault. I should be the one dying not her. She didn’t deserve to be dragged into this horrifying war. She doesn’t deserve to die because of me.

I’m caked in her blood. It’s everywhere. MY hands, MY clothes, all over ME. She tells John she loves him. I never got to tell her how I truly felt for her. I love HER. I wanted to be with her and now she’s being ripped away from us. All because of me.

How can I live with this burden? The burden of her death. John will despise me for this. He will hate me and he knows it’s my fault. My fault his true love was killed. The phone suddenly clatters to the ground and I know that she’s gone. She’s gone because of me. I still clutch at her wound and neck.

Sarah Hart’s eyes fall shut with a snap.

She’s gone because of me.

[thefloatingwriter]

life is not fair especially for finnick odair.

[wickjump]

GRAHHHH HOLY FUCK

THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS???????? IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ON MY MIND BUT I NEVER KNEW I WAS ALLOWED TO LIKE

ACTUALLY NOT LIKE IT

AAAAAAAAAA

gnawing on the bones of the passage of time rn brb

NO CAUSE LIKE, 2016 UT FANDOM COME BACKKK, I CAN ACTUALLY MAKE SHIT NOW?? I CAN ACTUALLY APPRECIATE YOU PROPERLY NOW GRAHHH

lowkey i miss all the amino ads/spondorships now lmao, at some point it just felt like amino sponsered every single undertale content creator jshsjs/positive

it had it's issues no doubt but fuckkkk, it feels like the atmospheres then and now are so different it doesn't even feel like the same fandom anymore if that makes sense? 

ngl i kinda miss the sans fangirls? they were such a staple part of the community back then grahhhh (help i still remember when almost everyone was laughing at the fangirls that, just in general, new/young artists got dragged in too? ugh i dunno, i never really watched those 'cring comps' but i wasn't a fan lmao /lighthearted)

it felt like such a community, it *was* a community

when did everything get so divided

can we all just rp 2016 ut fandom for the rest of our lives

ugh now that i see another person talk about it, my brain just opened the floodgates and im speedrunning the grieving process JHSHSJHS 

"it'll never be the same anymore" okay and sure i could be graceful about it but also what if someone has to drag me kicking and screaming

GRAHHHHHHHHH (love you sm for this op, KEEP SPEAKING YER TRUTHHH!! RAHHHHHHHH)

THANK YOU!!!! i will forever speak my truth thank you anon

things got divided and genuinely it doesn’t feel like the same fandom at all. the fandom on twitter feels nothing like the fandom on tiktok or on tumblr. and because so many people don’t have tumblr now, despite how tumblr is the utmv fandom’s medium, it’s difficult to get the people together like they used to. someone could be famous on tumblr, everyone knows their name and their ocs, but on twitter nobody knows who they are. tiktok has plenty of tumblr reposts but theyre also in the dark a lot of the time. it’s disconnected.

the community would be a lot better if we just. migrated back to tumblr again and stopped the callout posts, because honestly i don’t care what someone said that was mildly rude to someone else or anything of that silly nature. it’s not that serious!!!! it’s driving us apart!!!!!!!! we can’t be together if we don’t make an effort!!!!!

i want people to start being communal again. i want rp sessions. i want a new loveball. i want roleplay blogs and silly cringe and especially edgy ask blogs. i want the same level of cringe 2016 had. i want it so goddamn bad. but in order for that to happen, people need to put in an effort, and to do it, and enough people need to do that. which feels like it just won’t happen, im not that influential to make that happen, and as previously mentioned, so many communities don’t know i exist either, nor so many tumblr figures!!!!!! the real ones are the people that have accounts on all platforms and post the same things on each 🙏 thank you for being a rare link

honestly we’re hated enough as is. I mean i literally just scrolled past a yt video called “undertale and it’s FOUL community”. people outside it ain’t doin us any favors, trying to say “we’re good now” ain’t doin shit!!!!!! let’s just have fun and go back to enjoying ourselves instead of trying to be “better”. because im not having as much fun as i know i wouldve years ago as a content creator and i want to have that fun!!!!! and my goal at this point is to let people know they can have that fun. im going to spread this like the gospel mark my words

[xenglitch]

it couldve been midra. it couldve been messmer. it couldve been romina. we couldve had a really really cool new unique final boss instead of the actual final boss who is literally a guy we already fought in the base game and bootleg twin princes.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

more characters who are technically from T$$ (lore under the cut)

So Lis/Lisbet (more commonly known as "Lu", her codename) was one of Vic's first victims when he started working on his own. At the time, Lu was a secretary at a law firm. Unbeknownst to her, her bosses owed money to a local mob boss, and Vic was hired to "apply pressure". By pure coincidence, Lu was the unlucky target. Her torture was recorded and sent to the firm, and it was roughly three weeks before the money was coughed up and she was released.

Her captivity resulted in the loss of her right hand and most of her left leg, and a pregnancy. With Lu not being in a healthy emotional or mental place, the baby was raised by Lu's sister and her husband. Meanwhile, Lu decided she was sick of feeling like a victim and began devoting her time to training, getting physically stronger, and hunting down Victor Shepard.

While her family was very supportive for the first few years of her recovery, most of them were horrified by her desire for revenge. Despite being raised in a close-knit Catholic family and being religious herself, Lu quickly became disgusted at her family's urging to forgive Vic and move on. The only relative who didn't shy away was her cousin Adrien (also known by his codename, "Uriel")

The two were close as children, and Adrien wanted revenge for Lu as much as she did. He not only listened to Lu's violent fantasies, but encouraged them, offering ideas of his own. As a former Marine, he had training to back him up, and helped Lu on her own journey, swiftly becoming her second in command and the most trusted person in her life.

Through the years, Lu tried to maintain routine visitation with her child, but the visits always felt strained, and gradually her goal took over and she came over less and less.

Years later, Lu's son (then going by Leo) sought her out. His aunt had warned him that Lu was going down a dark path, but he was desperate to form some kind of connection with her. He knew the basics of what had happened to his mother, but at her own request, he'd always been told that his father had passed away before his birth. Lu welcomed him aboard, finding it easier to foster a connection when he could be viewed as a soldier and not her son. When he came of age, she welcomed him into her group officially, granting him the codename Gabriel.

Though Vic is her target, Lu and her angels also chase after people like him, capturing and killing them in the name of avenging those who have been lost or had their lives destroyed.

In canon, Lu briefly captures Vic, but he escapes before she can do any real damage. However, in this AU, she manages to contain him, and gets the revenge she's sought for so long.

[thotinos]

Tbh I never had a strong opinion on Buddie. If they end up together then great!! Love it!! But if they don't then... meh i don't mind all that much

But I swear if Buck and Tommy don't spend the rest of the season being grossly in love like silly teenagers and fucking nasty on live television I will lose my fucking mind

[way-down-aevistown]

"The entire Main City is just as cold and heartless as the Arbiter"

yeah im fine, no really i am, its just that I can't stop thinking about how the Lighthouse handed the Trial Court over to the military because no one there could handle, yk, being responsible for killing people day after day, knowing that there was a chance they were wrong. They were just researchers, so of course they couldn't handle that kind of environment. And yet. And yet. The lighthouse ended up making such crueller decisions.

The Trial Court looked at if you were infected or not. A yes or no. Sometimes they werent sure so they went with yes, but its still only two options. Kill or not. But the Lighthouse??? They decided who survived based on far vaguer parameters. First it was cut off the outer city. Ok, fine, clear line drawn. Then it was save only the twin towers. Lose all the citizens. These people did nothing wrong, and werent even infected, but they were cast off to give those more important a better chance. But thats not even the worst thing they did. The Lighthouse. The Lighthouse ranked every single researcher, based on their contributions to the base, and their ability. It compared every single person to another, and placed them in tiers.

Lu Feng can look someone in the eyes, see if they are infected, and shoot. Each shot is independant, and simple. But to rank every single person's value in relation to the other. Thousands of them. That takes another level of cold indifference.

Who would be able to handle that? Would you be able to handle that? I truly do not know what kind of person could have looked at a list of names, and ranked them, knowing that each decision decided whether or not this person could live, or would die, or could get a +1. How cruel. How cold. But then again, isnt that the point of the novel to question these things.

...They couldn't even grant those they left behind a quick death.

[muppetmagic]

you were just trying to pull focus.

                                    oh...well, there’s no one else here...

ST. BERRY performing HELLO TWELVE, HELLO THIRTEEN, HELLO LOVE!

[mwagneto]

ofmd s2 tomorrow morning im gonna fucking blow up and die. and then blow up again

[lesbianlenas]

having adhd is literally such a curse…just thinking abt all the stuff i’m going to be doing next semester & i’m like the hardest part of it is truly just trying to get myself to do things at all. like most of the time i avoid things completely bc of adhd and everything seeming like an impossible soul crushing task but i committed myself to a lot of stuff this upcoming semester that i WANT to do & it’s like i know i will be wishing i could scoop my brain out of my body by week 3 bc i hate doing things it’s so hard 😭 when i tell u all if it weren’t for ritalin i would have been so fucked last yr it’s not even funny. i would work for 5 hrs and then the second my ritalin started wearing off i’d be like i can’t do this anymore i’m going to die getting distracted like agonizing to read a sentence it’s so bad. like SO bad. it shouldn’t be almost physical painful to force ur brain to focus on reading a sentence. the way that i thought that was normal for so much of my life. insane.

[b4kuch1n]

1/ this bout of comms almost done and 2. spawndate in 3 days so I have! been fixin up some stuff for the itch store. that'll go live on the 29th! right now there Is a pack of the lineart stuff I did last year for folks who found that agreeable, still free to grab! for practicing coloring, or if you wanna mess around with colors when ur not feelin like doing lineart, or if you wanna try to figure out colors in a drastically different style than what you usually go for. or if u just wanna look at it that's cool too. small announcement that is all see u in a few

[guinevereslancelot]

not to be ungrateful but i don't get paid enough at my job lol

[fadeintoyou1993]

posting this mainly to remember that i need to write this in my actual journal but my two grandmas were really close and like best friends and they would visit each other and talk for hours on end and then one of them passed and the other is really sick w alzheimers and doesnt rmr that my other grandma passed 3 years ago and I just had to promise her i would tell my grandma that she misses her and wants to get better to visit her and catch up on everything and . wow grief is crazy huh it really just never ends

[cass-foxx]

I know I'm super late but this is me paying respect to my fictional dad who's canon death was 17th Oct 2023 :') (I think)

Thank you for being by my side when I needed someone the most <3

I am still so not ok with his death wtf. I am not kidding when I say that I went out of the cinema after watching Endgame, in tears. I was literally crying on the floor / street in front of the cinema's exit T-T I had a full ass mental breakdown x) No words in any language can describe accurately the pain, confusion, distress I felt at that time. You need to keep in mind that he was / is a father figure to me. That day, I saw my dad die and I think I'll never recover from it lol.

[ayyponine]

not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....

[riseoftherose]

this is so dumb but i just spent an hour trying to find a fic i read when i was like 14 and i cannot find it ANYWHERE or any mention of it.